On Thin Ice 3

I looked out the window of the library to see the leaves had just started to change color. It was

early September, change of seasons was definitely in full swing. As the leaves on the trees began to
die, I was doing the opposite. I could never remember feeling this way before. In fact, I knew I
hadn’t. For the first time in my life, I was in love. Really, truly in love.

I mean sure, it wasn’t like Daniel was the first boyfriend I ever had. But I also wasn’t the type

to just drop a guy and find a new one, and of all my old boyfriends, none of them made me feel like
this.

Daniel understood me. He understood me perfectly. It was like we were a single spirit, so in

tune with the other’s feelings.

Of course, adapting to life together outside of the rehab clinic where we met wasn’t easy. I

faced my parents again, who were nothing but supportive, but I still felt guilty for taking their other
daughter away from them every time I saw them. I called them every couple of weeks, and I was
getting better at dealing with my feelings, but it was still difficult.

I didn’t dare call most of my friends during what was left of the summer break. I figured I

would get back into contact with a lot of them once classes started again, and I did. It was...
interesting. I actually felt really lonely when I got back into contact with my old friends. A lot of them
didn’t know how to treat me. It was like they were on tenterhooks when I was around. They were
polite, they spoke softly, it felt like I was being treated like a sick child or something, and it annoyed
me tremendously. I mean, I understood it in a way. In society, we’re not really taught about how to
deal with our friends having major mental problems. We should be, but we’re not. I didn’t blame
them, but it still made me feel like crap.

The only exception was my best friend, Sabrina. The instant I saw her again outside our first

class together of the semester she wrapped her arms around me, taking me into a huge hug and
squealing into my ear.

“I’m so glad you’re back!” she exclaimed, holding me at arm’s length and looking me up and

down. “You look good! You look so much better than when I last saw you. You look healthy, you look
happy.”

“Thanks, Sabrina. I am happy. I didn’t really think I ever would be again, but here I am.”
“Good. Last semester sucked without having you there, plus seeing as we’re spending most of

our life in school anyway, I’m glad you’re back to get it over with along with the rest of us.”

Sabrina and I had met in premed about five years ago, and had been inseparable ever since. Of

all my friends, I was really, really glad that she was the one who still treated me like an adult. It was
like nothing had happened when I was around her.

“Hey, I have to tell you this, guess who I’m dating?” I asked her in hushed tones as we entered

the room.

“Oh – Em – Gee! You’re dating someone? The virgin Kylie has a boyfriend?”
I punched her lightly on the arm. “Shut up. I’m so not a virgin. And yes, I do have a boyfriend.”
“Well, spill!”
“You know Daniel Ross? Captain of the Sea Lions?”
“Holy shit, shut up!”
“I haven’t even told you yet! But yeah, I’m dating him.”
Sabrina’s eyes looked like they were going to burst out from their sockets.

“Really? Are you serious?” she practically shrieked, and the dozens of people already sitting

in their seats turned to look at us as we made our way up the stairs.

“Shhh! Yeah, I’m serious. You know how he hurt his knee and got addicted to painkillers?

Well, guess where he went for rehab. We met there, and now we’re dating.”

“Oh my God. I can’t believe this. He’s so sexy, you’re so lucky. I can’t even believe you. Can

you introduce me, so I can meet all his teammates?”

I laughed. “Fine, I will. He asked me to meet him at the rink this afternoon, he has a surprise

for me!”

“I am so jealous of you right now. So, so jealous.”
I laughed at Sabrina, but I couldn’t ignore that nagging feeling in the back of my head that still

told me that no, Sabrina absolutely didn’t want to trade places with me. Not after what I’d done.

Just then the instructor made his way to the front of the classroom and turned on the screen at

the front of the class, illuminating a large PowerPoint slide titled “Immunology and Diseases”, the
name of the course.

“Seriously though, I want to meet him,” Sabrina whispered as he started talking, and I nodded

to her, smiling to myself as I took out my notebook.

A few hours later, when class had finished, I took a cab down to the arena, where Daniel had

asked me to meet him. He had offered to let me use his extra car, a few years old sedan, but I refused.
I hadn’t driven since the accident; I still wasn’t comfortable with it.

I wondered what he wanted to see me for on the ride over. After all, while the rest of his team

was going to be on the ice, Daniel hadn’t skated since his injury. The physiotherapist told Daniel he
should wait until the end of September before getting back on skates, so I had no idea what I was
doing here.

Daniel met me out the front.
“Hey!” he greeted me, a smile lighting up his gorgeous face as soon as he saw me. I thought I’d

get used to seeing him. I thought after we’d been dating for a couple of months that I’d stop feeling
like I was floating on air every time I saw him, but no. My breath still caught in my throat, my body
surprised at the absolute gorgeous sexiness of his own. He literally took my breath away.

“Hey, how are you?”
“Good, now. Come with me, I want to show you something.”
Daniel took me by the hand and led me past security and into the building. We were in the

arena where the Sea Lions played, except there were no fans. A couple suits were milling around,
there was a three-person camera crew near one of the corners, I guess they were filming something
about the team.

“Remember how I told you the rest of the team had their first day of training camp today?”
I nodded.
“Well, just wait here for a while.”
Confused, I did as he asked. For the next fifteen minutes, nothing happened. The camera crew

got up and left, having shot the segments they wanted, I supposed. The suits looked at their watches
from time to time, took phone calls, and that was about it. I played games on my phone for a bit, until
finally there came a bit of a ruckus from the bench.

I looked up and saw Daniel, in all his hockey gear except his helmet, step out onto the ice. I

immediately broke into a huge, goofy grin. He skated towards me, tapping the glass lightly with his
stick as he went by where I was sitting. I could see the pure joy on his face, and barely even noticed
his teammates all hitting the boards with their sticks, celebrating the return of their captain.

I was so happy I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I knew how hard Daniel had worked for

this moment. I knew how many hours he worked with the physiotherapist, Dan, how many times he
came back from sessions in so much pain I wondered if he was injured again, how hard he worked in
the gym to get back onto the ice. And now, he had done it. He was skating. He was going to play
hockey again. All those tears, all that sweat, all that dedication, not to mention having to avoid
addictive painkillers after the surgery on his knee, it was all rewarded as I saw the happiness on
Daniel’s face.

If nothing else, it was the most motivating thing I had ever seen. If Daniel could do it, if Daniel

could get through the hard times and get back onto the ice, then I could beat my own demons. I could
continue my studies, I could become a doctor. I could be successful. Nothing could stand in my road
except for myself.

As the team joined their captain onto the ice and the training camp started, I watched Daniel,

and Daniel alone. He mainly stayed to the outside, away from where the players were practicing,
skating around in circles by himself. At one point when the team had a scrimmage Daniel climbed
back onto the bench and watched.

I could tell he was being careful. I was glad he was. I didn’t want a relapse, I hoped he wasn’t

on the ice too early. I knew Daniel had a tendency to take his body to its absolute limits, but at the
same time, I trusted him to take care of himself. I knew how much this meant to him, and I knew that
since his surgery, since he decided to go back to playing hockey, he had been stringent in following
doctor’s orders, and he hadn’t taken any risks he shouldn’t.

Two hours later, the players were finished, going back to the dressing room. When he was

changed Daniel came out to see me. He grinned when he saw me, and I ran over and wrapped my
arms around him. As I buried my face into him I could smell his aftershave, and the lightest smell of
soap. He’d obviously just had a shower, and the smell of him was intoxicating. I could have taken him
right then and there in Section 102 of the Sea Lions’ arena.

“Surprise!” he muttered into my ear.
“Was it ever! That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks. Dan told me two days ago I was probably ok to have a light skate around, and I

wanted to surprise you.”

“No kidding! How did your knee hold up?”
“Really well. It honestly feels completely fine. I’m going to go see Dan later this afternoon, but

then why don’t we go out and celebrate with dinner?”

“Of course! Wherever you want, we’ll go. When’s your appointment?”
“Three. I’ve got about half an hour.”
“That sounds like enough time.”
“Enough time for what?” Daniel looked at me, confused, but as I widened my eyes slightly and

raised my eyebrows, he got the hint.

“Ooooh! There certainly is! Come on, I know a few of the nooks and crannies in here where no

one will find us,” he continued, and I felt my heart race as he led me somewhere where we’d have
some more privacy.

* * *

When Daniel came back from his physio appointment I was ready and waiting for our date. I’d

showered, picked out a nice velvet dress that showed off my curves and paired it with some white
tights, as the nights were just starting to get a bit cool.

We set off on our date, Daniel changing into a polo shirt and jeans which gave him a half

casual, half business, all sexy sort of look. As he came back down the stairs after getting changed I
could already feel my body reacting, the juices building up inside of me as I watched him move. He
was so strong, so manly in every way, it should be impossible for a single human being to exude that
much testosterone.

“So where are we going for dinner?” he asked.
“Your choice, we’re celebrating you tonight.”
“Let’s get take out and eat it in Washington Park. We’ll have a picnic to celebrate these last

few days of summer.”

“Yummy, I love that idea.”
As we sat in the park on a blanket Daniel had brought eating Chinese food and drinking

Gatorade, both of us making fun of the other’s inability to use chopsticks, the sun setting over the lake
as we watched people cruising past on their bikes, I realized just how perfect this scene really was. I
couldn’t believe my life could possibly go this well. I was so happy with Daniel, happier than I’d
ever been in my life. I couldn’t imagine life without him anymore.

“I’m so proud of you, you know,” I told him. “So proud to see you get back out there on the

ice.”

“Thanks, Kylie. But you know, I couldn’t have done it without you. I wouldn’t have done it

without you. You’re amazing.”

“It’s funny, because I was going to say the same thing. I guess we’re good for each other. For

me, it’s motivating to see. I’ve seen you overcome obstacles, and it encourages me that I can
overcome mine, and I can do well at medical school this year.”

“Yeah, I haven’t really had the chance to ask you, how have your first couple days of class

gone?”

“They’ve been pretty good. Sabrina’s a godsend. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Everyone else seems to treat me like I’m a five year old, handling me with kid gloves, like if they say
anything not scripted I’m going to grab a bottle of vodka and down it in a single gulp.”

“Yeah, I know what that’s like. I’m getting it from a couple of the guys on the team. It’s mainly

just the younger ones, at least, the ones who haven’t known me for long. They kind of avoid me now.
The rest are fine though, I guess maybe it’s easier for guys.”

“Maybe, I dunno. It’s a bit frustrating, but I saw Sabrina today, and she’s exactly the same as

she always was. I’m so glad to have her. Marley and Helen were just kind of patronizing, but Sabrina
acted like she’d only seen me yesterday. She wants you to introduce her to the rest of the team, by the
way.”

Daniel laughed. “I’m already getting requests from your friends to set them up with mine?”
“Oh, yeah, I guess that must happen a lot.”
“Actually not as much as you’d think. I think most people are either too polite or too shy to

ask.”

“Well, neither of those words describe Sabrina, that’s for sure.”
“I’d like to meet her. I like knowing the people in your life. It makes me feel even closer to

you.”

“Sure, anytime. Sabrina would move planets to meet my boyfriend, she still calls me Virgin

Kylie.”

Daniel laughed. “I can assure her that’s not the case.” He lowered his voice. “I could tell her

about this afternoon if she wanted to know what you really get up to.”

My mouth dropped, mortified. “Don’t you dare. If she found out we did that in a semi public

place I would never, ever hear the end of it. I guarantee you she would bring it up at our wedding.”

When I realized what I’d just said, I covered my mouth, even more mortified than before.
“I mean... I didn’t mean... umm...”
“I know what you mean. It’s just an expression. Besides, how could I ever be insulted if you

did want to marry me?”

I was so thankful for Daniel helping me out of that awkward situation. It was funny though, how

easily those words came out of my mouth. I mean, I hadn’t thought about marrying Daniel at all
before. After all, we’d only been dating for a couple of months. But still, the fact that my brain went
there, I wondered if deep down I wanted even more from him.

“So when the regular season starts are you going to be playing again?”
“I hope so. I think so. Dan thinks if we’re pretty aggressive with my rehab for the next month

that it should be possible. I know that it’s not extremely important if I don’t, but I’d like to be back in
time for the start of the year.”

“Yeah, you had the surgery in July, three months recovery is pretty damn good for an athelete.”
“I was lucky that the tears weren’t too bad, definitely.”
When we finished our food, we cracked open our fortune cookies.
‘Anything is possible if you really believe’, mine said. I smiled at the words. I believed them

now. After I saw Daniel skating around on the ice today, the same Daniel who winced when he
showed me how to lunge because his knee was in so much pain, I knew that what my fortune cookie
said was right. Anything was possible. It just took a lot of hard work.

Our food discarded, I scooched in to be closer to Daniel. We sat together, me resting in

between his legs, leaning back against him as his arms wrapped around my waist. I took his hands in
mine, and we watched the lake in silence for a while. This was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

“I love you, Kylie,” Daniel suddenly said, out of nowhere. I hadn’t been expecting it, but it felt

so right to hear right now. It felt nice to hear.

“I love you too,” I replied, leaning back against him. I closed my eyes. Daniel loved me. He

had just told me he loved me. I thought before that the situation was perfect, but I was wrong. Now it
was perfect.

* * *

After that night in the park, time seemed to speed past like it always seems to do when life gets

busy. My workload picked up enormously as classes went on, and I found myself spending most of my
days either in class or at the library. Meanwhile, Daniel spent his days in a combination of the arena,
the gym and Dan’s physiotherapy area. September turned into October, and the new NHL season was
about to start.

“Our opener’s at home this year. We’re playing the Kings. I hope you’ll want to come and

watch,” Daniel told me a few days before the first game.

“Absolutely! So you’re going to play?”
He nodded. “Dan gave me the OK today. I think I’m ready as well. I feel ready. The last week

or so we’ve been doing a ton of conditioning work to get my body back into shape for the regular
season. I don’t think I’ll play a ton of minutes the first few games, probably just ten or so, but I should
quickly be able to ramp it back up to the fifteen, twenty minutes a game I usually play.”

“You’re healing so well, I should bring you to one of my classes for show and tell,” I teased.
“Hey, speaking of your classes, did you want to take Sabrina with you to the game on Sunday?

We could go out for a late lunch or something in the afternoon. Game doesn’t start until seven, so I
don’t have to be there until 4:30, five o’clock.”

“Sure, that sounds nice. She’ll be ridiculously excited.”
“Wait until you tell her that my tickets are in the family and friends suite.”
“I might actually go deaf, knowing how hard she’ll squeal about getting to watch a hockey

game in a suite.”

Sure enough, when I texted Sabrina that night she texted back a ton of exclamation marks. She

was definitely in.

Daniel and I met with Sabrina at a burger joint on Sunday just after noon. We got there first,

and when Sabrina slipped into the seat across from us a few minutes later, I introduced her to Daniel.

“You know, a part of me actually thought Sabrina was lying about dating you until now,” she

said as she gave Daniel a friendly hug across the table.

“Thanks, Sabrina. It’s good to know you trust your best friend,” I replied, rolling my eyes.
“Hey, you can’t blame me, can you? I mean, you’re not exactly the type to go slut it up and look

for famous athletes to date.”

I rolled my eyes at her and passed her a menu.
“I can always de-invite you to the game later,” I threatened.
“You wouldn’t! How will I find a sexy hockey player of my own if you do that?”
Daniel laughed.
“Well, Sabrina, I have to admit you’re exactly how Kylie described you to me.”
“Sexy and intelligent?” she asked with a wink.
“Flirty and honest with a healthy dose of crazy.”
“Well, that’s close enough I guess. Kylie’s been keeping her cards close to the chest. I want to

know everything. How did you two meet? How did you get together?”

“Well, we met in rehab, as I’m sure you know. I thought Kylie was the most beautiful girl I’d

ever seen, so I sat down with her at dinner. We hung out together the next day, and found we liked
each other, but because of the rules of the place we weren’t allowed dating.”

I blushed as I listened to Daniel tell the story of how we met. It seemed so romantic when he

said it.

“Then Kylie motivated me to get surgery on my knee, I did so, and we started dating when we

got back into the real world.”

“Oh my God, that’s the type of story that they turn into movies!” Sabrina exclaimed. “That’s SO

romantic, like holy shit!”

Just then the waitress came by with our food. We stared at the triple patty Daniel had ordered.
“What?” he asked, looking at us both. “I have a strict diet to adhere to, I’m playing a game

tonight.”

“You’re single handedly eating more than the two of us put together,” I replied, motioning at

Sabrina and my plate.

“Yeah, well, neither one of you are expending as many calories as I am,” he retorted, as

Sabrina grabbed the ketchup and we dug into our food.

Over dinner we spoke about banalities. Daniel got to know Sabrina, who acted exactly like her

usual self, until it was time for us to head over to the arena. We were so early, Sabrina and I, but they
still let us into the suite. We were by ourselves, with an open bar and a whole bunch of hors
d’oeuvres sitting on a giant table, making me regret the fact that we’d just eaten lunch.

Sabrina immediately went over to the bar and poured herself a drink.
“Don’t worry, I’m not offering you one,” she told me over her shoulder, and I settled onto a

barstool overlooking the rink. A minute later, Sabrina joined me.

“So?” I started.
“So, what?”
“So, what did you think of Daniel?”
“Honestly, he’s pretty cool. I like him. Down to earth sort of guy, not up his own ass like you

expect with a bunch of athletes. Plus he seems to really like you, so yeah, I think he’s a good thing.”

I smiled. I was glad Sabrina approved. Not that I would have broken up with Daniel or

anything if she didn’t, but it certainly made me happy that the people I spent the most time with liked
each other.

We kept chatting for a while, about our classes, about boys, about everything until finally the

room we were in started to fill up with other friends and family of the players. When the warm up
started, Sabrina and I went down to our seats, looking at the players as they skated around. Even
though he was a lot smaller from up here in the box, I could instantly tell who Daniel was. More than
that, I was amazed at how he looked.

I was never a huge hockey fan. I knew the basics of the game, but that was about it. Still, when

I saw Daniel skate for the first time since his injury, I could tell he wasn’t as strong a skater as most
of the rest of the players. But now, after an extra month of rehab, he was by far and away the best.

Every time Daniel moved, every time his leg muscles tensed and he pushed away from the ice,

it was obvious his drive was generating so much more power than everyone else’s. Despite the pure
power, the raw force involved with his every stride on the ice, he was also by far the most agile
player. It was like everyone else on the ice skated in slow motion when Daniel was around. He
dangled the puck one second, then deftly skated around one of his teammates and fired a rocket past
the goalie.

“He’s so good, isn’t he?” Sabrina said softly, obviously captivated by Daniel’s skill as well.
“Yeah. Yeah, he’s incredible. In every single way.”
I watched in awe as Daniel warmed up, stood and sang along with the crowd as a local

celebrity sang The Star Spangled Banner, then cheered along with the rest of the crowd as for the first
time that season, the Sea Lions played hockey.

Daniel took the first faceoff, sliding it back to one of his defensemen. The defenseman passed

the puck to the right wing, who slid past the defender and into the zone. Daniel was in front of the net,
the winger passed to him, but a last second check from the King’s defenseman stopped him from
scoring.

My heart pounded every second that Daniel was on the ice. I had eyes for only him. Every time

he stepped onto the ice the momentum went towards the Sea Lions. He attacked hard, he made sure to
come back and play defense, and the more I saw of him, the more impressed I was.

Midway through the third period, the score tied at one, a Sea Lions defenseman passed the

puck to Daniel, who immediately made his way up the ice with it. He was so far ahead of the other
two forwards that there was no chance they were going to catch up. Daniel banked the puck off the
boards and with a single quick movement of his legs sped past the other team’s defense, getting the
puck back and charging towards the net.

I was sure Daniel was going too fast, that he was going to go right into the goalie, and I got

ready to cover my eyes, not wanting to see the collision. But, at the last second, Daniel edged his
skates and flew to the right, the goalie unable to stay with him, and Daniel easily slid the puck into the
open net on the far side of the goal.

It took a second or so before I realized what had happened. The entire stadium completely

exploded. I jumped and screamed and hugged Sabrina as we celebrated with everyone else. Daniel

had scored! We watched on the Jumbotron as they replayed the goal. My voice was getting hoarse I’d
been cheering so much. I couldn’t believe it. Daniel had done it. He’d scored his first goal in his first
game back after the injury. I was so proud of him, I couldn’t wait to see him after the game and kiss
his perfect face, telling him how proud I was of him.

As it turned out, that was the goal which won the game.
“You’re amazing!” I cried out when Daniel came up to Sabrina and I as we waited for him in

the hallway outside the Sea Lion’s dressing room. I ran into his arms and wrapped them around his
shoulders, jumping up to reach them. He held me, a few inches off the ground, spinning me around.

“Did you like that? I got you this,” he replied with a grin, handing me a puck. My mouth

dropped open.

“Is this the puck you scored with?”
“Yup. I want you to have it. I wouldn’t have scored that goal if it wasn’t for you.”
“That’s so sweet,” Sabrina said in the background, looking like she wanted to melt. I wouldn’t

have blamed her, I wanted to melt too. It was incredibly sweet, such a thoughtful gesture.

“I love you so much,” I whispered into his ear.
“I love you too.”
Suddenly, our touching moment was broken when one of Daniel’s teammates walked by.
“Hi, I’m Sabrina,” I heard my best friend saying behind me. “I’m a friend of Daniel’s. Hey

Daniel, you should properly introduce me to your teammate here.”

I smiled to myself, rolling my eyes as Daniel introduced Sabrina to the team’s goalie, Sami

Lahtinen. I could tell she was immediately captivated by the Finnish accent, and she quickly had him
wrapped around her little finger, slipping her arm inside of his and walking out with him.

“Thanks for tonight, Daniel. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Kylie!” she yelled back as she left,

waving at us.

I burst out laughing as soon as she was out of sight.
“That girl is impossible. I swear, at least she never pays money to get back to her place. I love

her but by God she’ll flirt with anything with a pulse.”

“Well, she’ll love Sami then. He’s a bit of a player himself, so they’ll have some fun.”
“Hey, thanks for inviting her. I know she probably won’t say it, but it means a lot to her, and it

means a lot to me that you met her as well.”

“No problem. I wanted to meet her, and I knew she wanted to get her teeth into someone on the

team, so I figured two birds, one stone.”

We walked slowly out towards Daniel’s car in the underground parking lot.
“So how did it feel, playing tonight?”
“Amazing, honestly. The adrenaline rush just took away any pain I might have felt, I think I

played twelve minutes, and that was with the coach limiting me. I felt like I could have played thirty.
There’s nothing like being out there on the ice, playing hockey. It’s my life.”

“I guess scoring the game winner is pretty nice, too.”
“It was a good bonus,” he added, smiling as he opened the car door for me.
As we headed home, I felt warm and happy. Everything was going perfectly. The season had

just started, Daniel was doing really well in his comeback, and the first few weeks of my study had
gone better than I had expected. It almost seemed too good in a way. I knew something had to happen,
I just didn’t know when.

* * *

My time of perfect bliss lasted until early April. I mean, it’s not like our relationship didn’t

have its problems. For one thing, there was Daniel’s hectic travel schedule. He was constantly on the
road, and because I was so busy, I usually couldn’t join him. Sometimes I’d get lucky and they’d go to
Vancouver and Calgary for the weekend or something, and I’d hop on a flight and join him, but
usually I would just say goodbye to him as he headed off to the airport, wish him well, and watch the
game on TV while trying to study.

I wasn’t exactly a lady of leisure either. My courses were getting more and more difficult, and I

found it hard to keep up with the increasingly challenging coursework. Nonetheless, I really realized
that I absolutely loved it. There wasn’t a single class that I didn’t enjoy. Everything about the human
body fascinated me, and as I put more and more puzzle pieces together learning about how it worked,
I was thrilled.

Whenever I needed a friend, Sabrina was there. I mean, she couldn’t help with a lot of the

deeper issues I was dealing with. No, those were reserved for Daniel only. But if I wanted to
complain about our courses, bitch about profs being terrible, or anything, Sabrina was totally on my
side.

The first week of April things were getting stressful for all of us. Exams were coming up in

May, and so I had to start studying for those. As I went back over my course notes from September, I
felt like all the information had gone in one ear and out the other. I attended study groups with other
students, tutorials, I spent late nights up late reading and a whole lot more.

I know Daniel was feeling the pressure as well. The regular season had just finished, the

playoffs were starting the next day. The Sea Lions didn’t do as well in the regular season as they
hoped, but I knew they were on a hot streak. Even though they didn’t have home ice advantage, I
wasn’t worried. But I knew that wasn’t enough for Daniel, to be in the playoffs. He wanted to slay
the demons that haunted him from the year before. He didn’t just want to make the playoffs, he wanted
to win them.

I knew he was spending longer and longer in the gym, and sometimes when we ate dinner he

would drift off into space and I knew he was thinking about hockey. I never interrupted him when he
did it. I knew how important this was to him. I knew how much he wanted this, and I wanted to do
everything I could to make sure he got there.

The letter that changed everything came via registered mail. I had to sign for the it, and as the

courier dropped it off, I remembered thinking it was weird. After all, I wasn’t expecting anything.
This was a letter sized envelope, which I ripped open and found a letter from a law firm.

I read the letter, then read it again. Surely I was dreaming. Surely I wasn’t actually reading

these words right. The letter was from a law firm purporting to represent the family of Jeb Kerr, the
classmate of Suzette’s who had driven into my car and killed my sister.

And it looked, it looked like they were suing me.
Surely I wasn’t reading this right. There was no way. But yes, that’s what the letter said. The

family wanted to sue me for damages resulting from the mental anguish they suffered from the loss of
their son.

The mental anguish they suffered? I dropped the letter to the floor. All the memories of that

night came flooding back. All the emotions I felt, the sheer terror as I sat in the ambulance, the sinking
feeling when I saw the look on my parent’s face, the feeling that I wanted to throw up, that I wanted to
die. It all came back. Tears streamed down my face and I clutched at my eyes, desperately trying to
forget.

I thought I was going to throw up all over again. I collapsed onto the floor. I sat there for a

while and sobbed. I was so glad that Daniel had promised me not to leave any alcohol in the house. I

knew if there had been, I would have drank it. I eventually got up and went to my room, where I
collapsed into my bed in a fit of tears and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.

I wanted to speak to Daniel more than anything. I was desperate to talk to him, to call him. He

would know what to do. He would know what to say. I had the phone in my hand when I stopped. He
was twenty four hours away from one of the most important games in his life. He was gone, he had
left this morning for Chicago, and wouldn’t be back until they had played the first two games.

I knew if I called, Daniel would talk to me. I knew he would do everything he could for me.

But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it to him. I didn’t want to distract him. I was going to have to deal
with this by myself.

The problem was, I didn’t know how.
I wanted to call Sabrina, but I knew she wouldn’t understand. No one would understand, except

Daniel, and I couldn’t bother him. I was alone for now.

I got back up and found the letter where I’d dropped it. I hadn’t noticed I’d stained it with a

tear drop that must have fallen on it earlier.

I took a few deep breaths, took it over to my desk, sat down and gave it a good read through. I

definitely hadn’t misunderstood the words. I was being sued, for “pain and suffering”. I couldn’t
believe it. What had brought this on? The accident was almost two years ago now. Why were they
reopening the wounds I worked so hard to close?

When I finally calmed down I decided I was going to call a lawyer. I had no idea how to find a

lawyer for this, or what it would cost. Although with the fortune I was paying in medical school fees,
an extra ten thousand dollars here or there certainly wasn’t going to destroy me. I was already going
to be paying back loans for most of the rest of my life.

I managed to calm myself down eventually. I had no idea what was going on, but I would soon.

I’d get a lawyer to fight this. I just hoped it wouldn’t take everything out of me.

From the first I had to fight the urge to drink. Every time I thought about the accident, every

time I relived it, my body craved alcohol. It craved the forgetfulness that came with it. I relived all of
the pain, the anguish I felt that night every time I thought about it, and I knew alcohol took that pain
away. My hands shook, and I grabbed my pants with them. No. I wasn’t going to do that. I wasn’t
going to succumb to alcohol. I was going to be stronger than that. I had to be stronger than that.

My first step was to get onto the internet and call some lawyers and make appointments. I made

three appointments, but the earliest was going to be three days away. There was nothing I could do
until then except read the letter over and over.

No matter what I tried to do to take my mind off things, it didn’t work. I tried to study. I tried to

watch TV. I tried to read. But I found that no matter what, my mind wasn’t on things. My mind only
thought about this lawsuit, thought about the accident.

Eventually I forced myself to go to bed. It was early, maybe 8 o’clock, but I thought the safest

thing for me right now was to sleep. At least when I was asleep my body wasn’t going to think about
where the nearest drink might be.

I felt relief sweep over me as I sensed my body falling asleep. When I woke up, things would

be better.

My dreams were fitful. For the first time in a long time, I relived that night. I dreamed of

dropping Suzette off. I dreamed about coming back to pick her up. I saw her smile, her hair.

Then we were driving. I saw the car. I saw it coming at us. I kept trying to swerve, but the

steering wheel wouldn’t work. Suzette was screaming.

“SAVE ME, KYLIE! PLEASE!”

I wrenched the wheel around. Nothing. I slammed on the brakes, but the car only went faster. I

was screaming.

“SUZETTE! NO, SUZETTE!”
The other car came closer. I screamed.
I woke up to my cries resonating across the room. I was sweating, panting and crying all at

once. I had failed her. I had killed her. I had killed Suzette. I had killed her. Oh God, what had I
done?

I was shaking. Trembling. I was still wearing my clothes from the night before. I climbed out of

bed, went to the toilet and threw up. I needed a drink so bad. What was one little drink going to do? It
wouldn’t be that bad, it would just help me forget.

No. You can’t. You absolutely can’t. I reached for my phone to call Daniel, then remembered.

It was just after midnight. That meant it would be just after two in the morning in Chicago, the night
before his big game. No, I couldn’t call Daniel.

Maybe one little drink wouldn’t be so bad. I wouldn’t have more than one. I could stop myself.

I needed it so badly.

I grabbed my purse and headed out into the night. It was somewhat chilly, and I half walked,

half jogged until I reached the nearest bar and restaurant, about ten blocks away.

Sitting up at the bar, the man at the counter took one look at my appearance before going “rough

night?” This was your typical sports bar, with a brick counter, various pieces of sports memorabilia,
a bunch of big screen TVs and a half-decent kitchen out the back.

Nodding, I ordered a vodka and orange juice. He brought it to me and I downed it in a single

gulp before ordering another. I needed this. The instant the smooth liquid went down my throat, it was
like something inside of me was ignited. I needed this. It would make me forget. The last time I did
this, I forgot. I wouldn’t remember Suzette’s terrified eyes. I wouldn’t remember her screams. I
wouldn’t remember that I had killed her, that I had done this to her.

The bartender brought me the second drink just as the first began to give me that buzz. I needed

that buzz. It was addictive. It felt so good, it started to numb the sensations I was feeling. I drank the
second drink quickly, then ordered a third. The bartender hesitated for a minute before pouring it out
for me.

I don’t know how much I drank. I know I was drunk. I lost track after five drinks. Amazingly, I

didn’t black out. I know eventually the pain began to fade. The alcohol kicked in, and the pain got
better, like it always did.

After last call, I stumbled out of the bar and began to walk back home. I don’t remember much

about the walk, but I do remember getting back into the house and collapsing onto one of the couches
in the living room. The alcohol dulled my senses. The room was spinning and I felt like I was going to
throw up, but at least I didn’t feel any pain anymore.

* * *

When I woke up, I didn’t know where I was. I felt like throwing up all over again, and the

room was spinning. The walls were white, there was a ton of medical equipment, I was in the
hospital. What the hell?

Panicked, I turned to my right to see Daniel sitting there. The sudden movement made the

nausea come back, and I groaned.

“Daniel?” I asked weakly, not sure if I was dreaming. It all came back to me. Daniel wasn’t

here. Daniel was in Chicago.

“Kylie, it’s ok. I’m here.”

“Daniel? Really? Why aren’t you in Chicago? Where am I? What happened?”
“Shh, it’s ok Kylie. I’ll tell you everything. But first, how do you feel?”
“My head hurts, my throat hurts, the room is spinning and I think I’m going to puke.”
“Ok, I’ll get the nurse to give you something, I’ll be right back.”
“No, don’t go. It’s ok. Please. Just tell me what’s going on.”
Daniel hesitated for a moment, then sat down and did just that.
“The game is supposed to be today. It starts in an hour.”
“Then why aren’t you in Chicago?”
“Because there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to play when I knew you were in the

hospital.”

“How did I get here?”
“Sabrina called you a number of times early this morning, wondering if you wanted to study

with her and then watch the game together. When you didn’t answer over and over, she worried that
something might be wrong and came over to make sure you were ok. When she found the front door
unlocked, she went into the house and found you on the floor.”

I closed my eyes, knowing where this was going.
“She called 9-1-1 as soon as she saw you. She knew you weren’t in a good way. She checked

your pulse, she did a little bit of first aid before the paramedics got there, then as soon as she knew
you were safe she found your phone and called me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t call you because I didn’t want to bother you before your big

game.”

“Kylie, what happened? This isn’t like you at all,” Daniel said softly, taking my hand in his. I

could see the concern in his face. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t mad at all. He didn’t even seem upset at
the fact that he was missing a playoff game.

I took a deep breath and told him about the letter from the lawyer. I told him about the

memories flooding back to me. I told him about the nightmares, and how I just couldn’t take it
anymore. I told him about going down to the bar, drinking until the pain went away, and then going
home and collapsing on the couch. By the end of it, tears were streaming down my face. I was so
ashamed of what I’d done. As the words came out of my mouth, as I explained exactly what had
happened, I realized how stupid I’d been. I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol since I had entered the
rehab center, nearly a year earlier. And now, now I’d ruined everything I’d worked for. I’d gotten
completely plastered and I had ruined the start of the playoffs for Daniel.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.
“No, don’t be sorry, Kylie. It’s fine. Sure, there’s things that could have been done differently.

I wished you’d called me. I really do. But what’s done is done. You can’t regret the past, you can
only look to the future.”

“So you’re not mad?”
“No, of course not.”
“But you’re going to miss game one.”
“I’d miss all the games if it meant being here for you, if it meant stopping you from nearly

killing yourself with alcohol like you did last night. I’d give up hockey if it meant saving your life.”

The sincerity with which he spoke those words blew me away. I knew he meant them. Daniel

would give up anything for me. I felt so loved, and yet so ashamed.

“I wish I was as strong as you were,” I murmured. Daniel was my rock. I felt so silly now that

he was here, like I knew I wouldn’t have done what I did if he was with me.

“You are, Kylie. If anything, you’re stronger. I probably would have done the exact same thing

in your situation. It’s disgusting that the family is trying to sue you. Absolutely disgusting. I can’t even
begin to imagine the pain reading that letter must have brought back into your life, and I definitely
don’t blame you for your moment of weakness. We’ll just have to work harder to make sure it doesn’t
happen again.”

“I love you, Daniel,” I murmured, suddenly feeling weak.
“I love you too, Sophie. Are you going back to sleep?”
I nodded slightly. “Yeah. I’m exhausted.”
“Good. I’ll be here when you wake up again.”
I drifted off almost immediately.
When I woke up again a few hours later, Daniel was watching the hockey game on his phone.

He had the volume turned almost all the way down, but I recognized the sound of commentary
nonetheless.

“Who’s winning?” I asked softly, and Daniel smiled at me.
“We are , it’s 4-2. But you know, the most dangerous lead in hockey and all that. There’s only

ten minutes to go though, so I’m hopeful.”

“Good. I’m glad. I didn’t want to be the cause of the Sea Lions losing because you came to see

me.”

“I wouldn’t care if you had. How are you feeling? The nurse came in before and checked your

chart, she said you can be discharged when you wake up.”

“I’m better, thanks. The headache’s gone. Now I’m just mostly filled with a sense of shame.”
“Don’t be. You were in a highly stressful situation, I probably would have done the same thing

in your place.”

“Hey, Daniel?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for being here. I really, really appreciate it.”
“No problem. I wouldn’t have missed being here when you woke up for anything.”
I knew just how much he meant it as I let him go back to the game, let him watch the last ten

minutes. An empty net goal sealed the deal and the Sea Lions won game one.

A few minutes later I grabbed my things and was discharged from the hospital. We took a cab

home, and as soon as we got back Daniel went towards the kitchen.

“You must be hungry, I bet you haven’t eaten in a while.”
It was like him mentioning it made my stomach go “oh, yeah!” and I suddenly felt it gurgle in

hunger.

“Some food would be good, thanks.”
Daniel heated me up some leftovers and we went to the living room, sitting on the couch while

I devoured the food.

“You’re going to have to find a lawyer to fight that lawsuit. Don’t worry about costs, I’ll cover

them. I want there to be as little stress in this process for you as possible.”

“Thanks, Daniel. I’ve actually already got appointments made, the first one is two days from

now, then the second and third are in three days.”

“Oh, good. I knew you had a good head on your shoulders. I’ll stay here with you until then.”
“What? No, you can’t do that!” I exclaimed. “You need to go back to Chicago. Game two is in

less than forty eight hours.”

“I think you need me a lot more than the team does.”

I shook my head. “I do need you, Daniel. I needed you last night. But no, I’m good now. I’m not

going to drink again. I promise you that.”

I knew I was telling the truth. There was no way. Seeing what Daniel had sacrificed to be here

with me, seeing how much he loved me, I knew I had to be strong for him, the same way he was
strong for me.

“I’ll call Sabrina tomorrow and get her to come stay with me, if it’ll make you feel better.”
“Yeah, that would, actually. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I worry about you.”
“I get it. Even if you didn’t trust me, it’s not really like I’ve earned that trust right now. But

yeah, you’ve got to get back to your team, like as soon as you can.”

“Ok, I will, as long as you get Sabrina to come stay with you. I’ll fly back the night after game

two, I won’t go with the team the next day.”

“Sure. Don’t worry about me, Daniel. I’ll be fine.”
He took me into his arms. He was warm, and so strong. I collapsed into his chest, curling up

into a little ball and pressing myself against his hard body. I fit so perfectly, nestled inside of him, and
as I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, enjoying the musk of his body, I was so thankful for
everything he had done for me.

* * *

Sabrina came by early the next morning with an overnight bag and all our books.
“I hope you’re looking forward to studying a whole bunch!” she announced as I let her in,

books going flying everywhere.

“Thanks for coming, Sab. Daniel left for the airport about ten minutes ago.”
“That man is amazing. You’re so lucky to have him.”
“I know. And I’m lucky to have you too, you know. Thanks for finding me the other day.”
“No problem. How are you holding up?”
“Ok. Did Daniel tell you why it all happened?”
Sabrina shook her head and I told her about the letter.
“Those fucking pieces of shit. I can’t believe they would dare to do that. Did they completely

ignore the fact that their son was the one who was drunk and driving on the wrong side of the road
without headlights?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. But it brought on a bunch of bad memories, and nightmares, and I

just had to drink to get away from it all. And then you found me.”

“Jesus. You poor thing.” Sabrina hugged me tight. It felt nice, to know how much she cared.
“So yeah, you’re basically here to make sure I don’t get drunk off my ass.”
“You know, I think you’re the only person who would ever pick me to stop someone from

getting drunk.”

I laughed. “Well, there’s no alcohol in this place, so you don’t get to indulge yourself either.”
“That’s ok, this place looks so amazing, I bet there’s tons of toys here to have fun with.”
“Pretty much, but I thought we were going to be studying hard for the next two days.”
“We work hard, we play hard, Kylie!”
I laughed and showed her towards the guest bedroom. It was the same room I had spent my first

couple of weeks here in, until Daniel and I realized we should be sharing a bed. Sabrina’s mouth
dropped the same as mine did when I first arrived.

“Shit, I can tell you right now, I’m not leaving here when Daniel comes back. Pretty sure this

is my permanent home now.”

I laughed. “Fine, you can sort rent out with him. But yeah, this is your place. The bathroom is

even more amazing.”

“You aren’t kidding!” she exclaimed, making her way through the room and glancing into the

ensuite. “You live like royalty now, Kylie.”

We went back downstairs and broke out the books. We had three classes in common this

semester, and two which were different. Grabbing our notes from immunology, we set about getting
down to business.

I was so glad Sabrina was here. She was helping me to keep my mind off things. From time to

time I would think about the fact that I was being sued, but before I had a chance to really delve deep
into the old emotions that racked my brain, Sabrina would be asking me a question about a certain
disease or something to get my mind back on track.

The next day I had my first appointment with one of the lawyers. Sabrina came with me,

although she stayed in the waiting room. The lady was professional and swift, asking me all kinds of
questions about the case. I showed her the letter, as well.

“I’m not just saying this to get you to sign on with me, Kylie, but I genuinely think they don’t

have a leg to stand on. Even though you weren’t injured in the crash, that absolutely doesn’t mean it
was your fault. Since you say the police report found the plaintiff’s son to be at fault for the accident
completely, on top of the fact that he was drunk, combined with everything else I think the instant this
gets past discovery the judge will throw it out. In fact, I’m surprised they found a lawyer to take this
case.”

I felt a little bit more relieved at that.
“And, if you would be interested, we could even file a counter suit. This is so frivolous, so

obviously designed to bring back some old wounds, that you actually have a good case to sue them.”

I shook my head.
“No, I don’t want that. I just want this out of my life, so I can move on. I don’t want these

memories coming back.”

The lady nodded in understanding. “Absolutely. No pressure here, whatsoever. But yes, I can

represent you in this case, and I don’t think it will be that difficult to defeat.”

I thanked her and left, relaying the conversation we had to Sabrina as she drove us back to our

place.

“That’s good news, right?”
“Yeah. It is. I mean, it’s sort of what I expected. What really nailed me was the fact that they’re

bringing this up now, out of nowhere, so long after the accident actually happened. It just brought back
all those terrible memories, you know?”

“I can only imagine. That’s really shitty of the family to do that. Did the lawyer talk to you

about suing them back for being dickbags?”

“Well, she didn’t use those exact words, but yes, she did. I’m not going to do it though. I just

want to move on.”

“Yeah, I get that. Hey, listen, why don’t we grab some pizza and watch the game, then a few

hours later Daniel will show up on his flight from Chicago?”

“That sounds good, I know a great pizza place, I’ll call them now and we’ll go pick it up, it’s

not too far from home.”

Half an hour later we were sitting in front of the TV. When the season first started it was weird

for me, sitting in front of it watching my boyfriend. Now, however, I was pretty used to it.

We cheered as the Sea Lions took an early lead, sat de jectedly as Chicago evened the score up

at one, then cheered even louder as the go ahead goal was scored by none other than Daniel Ross.

“You know, I didn’t even like hockey that much before you dated Daniel. I basically just knew

who the hot guys were.”

“Yeah, me neither. I didn’t even know that. I mean, I knew the basics of the game of course, but

I wasn’t a hardcore fan or anything. Daniel’s definitely turned me though, I can’t imagine missing one
of his games.”

When the team won, it was like another wave of relief pouring over me. I was so glad. I

wanted Daniel to be successful in his quest to win the Cup this year. More than anything. Sabrina
went to bed around ten, but I stayed up until Daniel walked in the door, around midnight.

I ran towards him, wrapping my arms around him, and he spun me around.
“Congratulations, nice game!” I told him as he let me down. He was clean, having obviously

showered just after the game, but his hair was just a little bit damp, making it look even sexier than
usual. He grinned, and I felt like my insides melted as he looked at me.

“Thanks. It was a good game. The guys were awesome. We’re on fire, hopefully we can take

this momentum all the way.”

“I know you can. I absolutely know it.”
“How did the last few days go? Are you alright?”
“Yeah, thanks. Sabrina went to bed. She’s been good at keeping my mind off things. And I went

to see the first lawyer today, she said there’s basically no chance that they’re going to win. She thinks
the lawsuit will be thrown out quickly, and that I could sue in response, but I don’t want to.”

“Definitely, you just want to get it over and done with, get that family out of your life, right?”
“Absolutely. But this night should be all about joy! I’m fine, and you’ve just had an awesome

win.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I do want to celebrate.”
With a single quick movement, Daniel hoisted me over onto his shoulder. I let out a squeal of

surprise as he carried me up the stairs like I weighed nothing. I giggled with excitement and
anticipation, my blood already boiling, knowing my panties were getting soaked as Daniel carried me
down the hallway towards our bedroom, closing the door behind us. I knew I wasn’t going to get
much sleep that night, and I couldn’t wait.

* * *

The next morning I woke up late, coming down the stairs and making my way to the living room

where Sabrina was waiting at almost eleven.

“Hey sleepyhead. I was going to head off later today, but I figured maybe we could study for a

hour or so while you eat what should now be considered brunch.”

“Sure, sounds good,” I replied, heading into the kitchen to make some toast. Daniel came down

about twenty minutes later and greeted us as we finished our studying and Sabrina got ready to leave.

“Hey, thanks for the last few days,” I told her as we hugged. “I’ll see you tomorrow in class?”
“Definitely, no problem.”
As she drove off, Daniel wrapped his arm around my waist. I loved the feeling of being

pressed close to him. I could feel my pulse quickening, the sparks of electricity shooting in between
us. My breath caught in my throat as Daniel leaned down and kissed me, his soft lips on mine sending
pleasure radiating through me.

“We’ve got the day off today, did you want me to come with you to the two lawyer’s

appointments?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’d like you there, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. I know you can do it yourself, but I’d like to be there.”

I took his free hand in mine and looked up at him. I loved this man so much. He was the best

man I’d ever known.

The two lawyers told me basically exactly the same thing as the first lady did. One of them

pressed extremely hard to get me to sue them back, which pushed me away from him for the most part.
The other was about the same as the first lawyer I saw, but I still had a better feeling about the first
lawyer. When I left the second meeting, I told Daniel I was going to hire the first lawyer.

“That sounds like a good idea. From what you say, she seems to be the most in tune with your

goals for this, so I think you’re making a good choice.”

“I sure hope so. The sooner this ends, the better.”
A few hours later Daniel went to his practice, and I went back to studying. Tomorrow was

going to be quite the busy day for Daniel. I had a couple of classes to go to, although they were
winding down, and then I was going to meet him a little while before he had to be at the game.
Surprisingly, I was actually pretty nervous about it. I wasn’t playing or anything, of course, but I felt
like I had butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it.

The next day came quicker than I could have imagined. I went to class, but found myself

thinking about hockey almost the entire time. I knew the Sea Lions were in a good position: they’d
won two games of the four they needed, and now they were on home turf. Things were looking good.
But still, I worried. I wanted Daniel to win the Stanley Cup more than anything. It dominated my
thoughts, even though I knew I had to focus on my own stuff. Still, I knew I was at no risk to fail
anything. I was going to pass all my classes easily, no matter what happened. Daniel, on the other
hand, wasn’t guaranteed a Stanley Cup.

After class I went to the library. I was walking down the path towards the building, on the

other side of the campus, when my phone rang. I grabbed my phone and looked at the number. I didn’t
recognize it, but it was local.

“Hello?” I answered.
“Is this Kylie MacIvish?”
“Y-es, who am I speaking with?”
“This is Sally Kerr. I’m Jeb Kerr’s mother, the mother of the child you murdered.”
What the fuck? What on earth was she doing calling me? I was so sick of this, I could feel the

rage building up inside of me. I was going to call Mindy Chan, the lawyer I saw the first day this
afternoon. She was going to deal with this, so that I didn’t have to. What was I doing getting a phone
call directly from Jeb Kerr’s mother?

“What the fuck do you want?” I asked. I wasn’t the type of person that usually swore a lot, but I

made an exception here.

“I wanted to tell you to your face that you killed my son. You’re a disgusting piece of crap and

I wish you’d died in that accident instead of him.”

If I thought I was angry before, that was nothing compared to what I felt after that sentence. I

could feel my grip tightening on the phone.

“It’s your fault my child is dead.”
I tried to take deep breaths. I forced the memories out of my head. Absolutely forced them

away. Then I spoke.

“Your son is dead because you were obviously too big a piece of shit to take care of him

properly and to teach him that drinking and driving is bad. What the fuck is wrong with you? Your son
is dead because he was a fucking idiot. He killed my sister. Your son is the murderer, not me. I don’t
know how you get off trying to make yourself feel better by coming after me, but let me tell you this. If

you don’t fucking leave me alone, I will make your life a living hell.”

Without waiting for a reply, I hung up the phone. My heart was pounding. I was trembling. I

couldn’t believe this had happened. I darted towards the side of a building, collapsing against the
wall, then sat down on the ground and cried.

For the second time this week I was reminded of the accident. I was reminded of the pain I felt.

I was reminded of the moment I knew Suzette was gone. I remembered the guilt, the way I felt when I
realized I had come out of the crash with barely a scrape, but that my sister was gone forever.

I wanted to drink again. It had felt so good the last time. It had made the pain go away.
Then I thought about Daniel. I thought about everything he was doing, how hard he was

working to get over his own pain, his own problems. I thought about how the last time I did this he
had skipped the first playoff game.

I focused on Daniel. I focused on the good in my life. I thought about the shame I felt when I

woke up in the hospital bed, finding out that he had missed one of the most important hockey games of
the year because of me.

No, I couldn’t do it to him. Not again. I had to be strong, for both Daniel’s sake, and my own. I

couldn’t let this weakness overtake me. I had to be stronger. I could be stronger.

Still, I was always the type of person that had to do something. I wasn’t really sure what to do

here. I needed to walk to clear my head. I picked myself up off the floor and started walking towards
downtown.

I kept my eyes on the ground for the most part, not wanting to be tempted by any bars I might

happen to walk past. After a couple of minutes I decided where I was going. I knew exactly what I
had to do right now. I was still a muddle of emotions, but I realized I had to do something. This was
something else, calling me to antagonize me about the accident. I briefly wondered how the woman
got my number, but then realized I didn’t care. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that it stopped.

Ten minutes later I was standing in front of Mindy Chan’s office. I went in and smiled at the

receptionist behind her ridiculously clean, modern desk.

“Hi, I’m wondering if I can speak with Ms. Chan.”
“I’m afraid she’s in a meeting at the moment. Can I make you an appointment for another day?”
I shook my head. “No. This is bit of an emergency. I’ll pay double the hourly rate, I just need

to see her as soon as I can.”

“Alright, she should be out of this meeting soon. I’ll squeeze you in before her next

appointment.”

“Thanks.”
Another day I might have smiled ruely to myself, bemoaning the day I realized that money got

things done more than anything else, but today was not this day.

I went to one of the seats in the waiting area, sinking into the plush leather, and stared at the

floor. Thoughts tumbled through my head. Again, I wondered how Jeb’s mom got my phone number.
Should I go change it? Wait to see what your lawyer says. She’ll know what you should do.

Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Daniel. What was he doing, calling me? Suddenly, I realized.

I was supposed to meet him ten minutes ago. I had completely forgotten about the meeting.

Slipping into the hall and motioning at my phone to the receptionist, I pressed the ‘answer’

button.

“Hey, sorry, I completely didn’t mean to blow you off.”
“Are you ok, Kylie?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m ok. Something came up, I’ll tell you about it later. But don’t worry, I’m

totally fine. I’m at Mindy Chan’s office, I’m waiting to see her.”

“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I promise you Daniel, I’m completely and totally sober right now. I haven’t been

drinking and I’m not going to be drinking.”

“Ok. I’ve got to get going, but I’ll talk to you after the game. You’ve got your tickets, right?”
“I do. And don’t worry, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Look for me during the

warmup, I’ll wave at you.”

“Will do. Thanks Kylie.”
“Hey, Daniel?”
“Yeah?”
“Kick some ass out there tonight.”
“I will.”
I smiled to myself slightly as I slipped my phone back into my purse. I knew Daniel believed

me. I had thought about lying to him when he first picked up, but I owed him more than that. I knew if I
told the truth, he wouldn’t worry. And it was true. I wasn’t going to drink. I went back into the waiting
room and sat down. No matter how much I wanted to, I wouldn’t succumb. I wasn’t going to let this
disease take over my life again. I wasn’t going to let it destroy me. I had too much to live for. I had
Daniel. I had to be better for Daniel.

A couple minutes later the receptionist told me I could go in and see Mindy.
“Hi Kylie. I didn’t know we had an appointment, let me dig your file out from the computer

quickly.”

“We didn’t, actually. I came here on a whim, because I don’t know what to do.”
“How do you mean?”
“I got a phone call this afternoon from one of the plaintiffs in the case, Sally Kerr. She called

my cell and accused me of killing her son, she told me she wished I’d died in the accident instead of
him.”

“That’s completely inexcusable. I’ll file for a restraining order straight away. I don’t want that

woman contacting you again.”

“Thank you. I didn’t know what to do. Every time this sort of thing happens, I get the urge to

drink again. I just want it to stop. I want it to all be over so much.”

“I know. I’m going to make sure it’s over as quickly as possible, and with as little input from

you as possible so that you don’t have to go over that history again. For now, are you going to be
alright?”

I nodded. “Yes. I’m going to the hockey game tonight to see Daniel, my boyfriend. I’ll be fine.”
“Alright. Listen, here’s my cell phone number. If she calls you again, please call me directly.

You can also go to the police and complain that you’re being harassed. They probably won’t do much
right then and there, but it will help to establish a pattern of behaviour.”

“Thanks, Mindy.”
“No problem. I’ll be in contact with you.”
Sally Kerr tried calling me again ten minutes after I left the office. This time, I didn’t take the

call. That seemed to annoy her even more, so she called again. Again, I ignored it. This time I put my
phone on silent, so I was blissfully unaware of every call she made to me.

Looking at my watch, I realized I was going to have to hurry if I wanted to be at the game in

time for warm-ups. I would go to the police after the game and complain about the harassment. At this
rate there would be dozens of calls from her that Mindy could use to help with the restraining order.

I caught a cab to the arena. As it drove off, I leaned back into the seat and closed my eyes. I felt

better, now. Going to see Mindy, doing something constructive about the problem, it really helped me
keep my focus, it helped distract me from the desire to drink. Now I knew that that bitch wasn’t going
to be able to contact me at all pretty soon without violating a court order. I was glad.

When I got to the rink, I felt rejuvenated, somehow. I went to my seats. They weren’t in the

corporate box this time, Daniel had bought me seats almost at center ice, six rows back. I smiled and
waved at him when he skated past, and he waved right back at me, the grin filling his face making me
melt inside. Every time he looked at me, even such a quick glance as this, made me feel like he was
looking directly into my soul, like there was nothing in my body that couldn’t be bared to him. And I
knew there wasn’t. He was my everything. I had avoided alcohol, and I had done it for him.

I watched as he skated effortlessly along the ice, shooting pucks into the boards and past the

goaltender. I was nervous. Nervous, nervous, nervous. I couldn’t imagine how the players must have
felt.

Eventually, the game started. When I came in I had been a little bit apprehensive about being

around so much beer, but the instant the puck dropped, I knew I didn’t have to worry. I was one
hundred percent focused on cheering for the Sea Lions, on making sure the little black disk went into
the other team’s net.

At the end of the second period, the opposing team were ahead, 3-2. Neither goalie had been

having the best night, but the Sea Lions were getting the raw end of the stick. I stayed in my seat
during the intermission, wondering what Daniel was thinking. I wished I could go into the dressing
room, I wished I could tell him I loved him, and that no matter what happened I was proud of him, but
that I knew he could do it. I knew he could come out here and kick Chicago’s ass.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be that night. Chicago scored another goal in the third to make

it 4-2, the final score, and as the fans left, most of them feeling dejected, I hoped Daniel wouldn’t be
too upset. He hadn’t had a bad game, by any means, but it was far from his best.

I met him, as I usually did, in the hallway outside the dressing rooms. I walked over to him and

hugged him, holding him close to me. He hugged me back.

“You ok?” he asked, looking at me concerned, and I nodded.
“Yeah, you?”
“I’ve had better days. I know we’re still ahead. I know we’re still leading, but it still hurts

when we lose in the playoffs. We’ve only got seven games, I don’t like giving up any of them.”

“I’m not going to annoy you with clichés like ‘you can’t win them all’, but yeah, it wasn’t the

best game you guys have had.”

“I don’t know what happened. It was like I had no energy. Maybe I’ve just been training too

much, or maybe I should have had a better dinner or something. I don’t think I was the only one
though. Team sports are funny that way. Some games every single person on the ice has one of the
best games of their careers, and others everyone seems to be behind a step. This one fell into the
latter category. No one really seemed on their game tonight. Oh well, it happens. We just have to
move on. Now tell me, why were you at the lawyer’s place this afternoon?”

I told Daniel all about the phone call.
“Are you kidding me? I can’t believe her. Something needs to be done.”
“I know. That’s why I went to Mindy. She told me she’s going to file a restraining order. And

also, I’m supposed to go to the police if she calls me again, which she has been during the game.” I
took my phone out and glanced at my missed calls. “Ten times. She seems to have given up as of
about two hours ago.”

“I’ll take you to the station myself.”
“Are you sure? You must be exhausted.”
“I am, but I’m definitely coming with you. I’ll just sleep in for an extra hour tomorrow, that’ll

take care of any exhaustion issues.”

“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I want to be there with you. You shouldn’t be having to go through this at all, the least I

can do is make sure you’re not going through it alone.”

Daniel drove me to the nearest police station. I hadn’t been in one of these in a long time. Of

course, as all this sort of stuff always did, it brought back some bad memories. As if he could sense
my nerves, Daniel took my hand in his. His warm touch, his strong touch, it was comforting. Like he
was full of energy, giving me courage, the courage to go through with this.

I went up to the front desk, where a very uninterested looking officer in his 40s glanced up at

me, then glanced back down at what he was doing.

“Yes?” he asked, as if my being there was an inconvenience to him.
“I’d like to report harassment. There’s a woman suing me, and now she’s called me ten times

in the last twelve hours. My lawyer told me to file a police report if she kept calling me.”

The man sighed, then dug through a bunch of files.
“Fine. Fill this out, there’s a desk over there.”
I wasn’t feeling incredibly wanted here. The last time I was in the police station, at least, the

police had been incredibly nice to me. They’d been sympathetic, they knew I didn’t want to be there,
and they made it as quick and painless for me as possible. I had appreciated that.

I glanced at Daniel, who rolled his eyes, understanding exactly what I thought, and we went

over to work on the report. I just had to fill in my basic information, name and address, before another
officer, who barely looked old enough to be out of the academy, came over.

“Oh shit, are you Daniel Ross?” he asked, before suddenly realizing what he said and looking

around to make sure none of his superiors had heard. “Shoot, sorry. Sorry! I didn’t mean to swear. I
just...”

“It’s ok man, don’t worry about it. And yeah, that’s me,” Daniel replied with a grin.
“I’m a big fan, sir. I’m here to take your girlfriend’s statement,” he continued, looking at me,

“then if it’s alright I’d like to ask for a photo once we’re finished.”

“Not a problem, always happy to do a favor for the boys in blue.”
“Thank you sir!” the young man replied. He turned to me. “I’m Officer Hastings. I’ll be taking

your statement, if you’d both like to follow me, or just the lady if she prefers.”

Daniel and I went together into an empty office. It was practically bare, with just a desk, one of

those standard cheap ones with a metal frame that looked like it had been in the office for fifty years,
at least, and a couple of flimsy chairs. Officer Hastings motioned for us to sit in them, and we did so.

“So, Ms... MacIvish, could you please tell me who has been harassing you?”
I explained about the lawsuit, trying to avoid the accident as much as I could. Daniel’s hand

reached across his seat and rested on my knee. It gave me strength, comfort where I didn’t think I had
any.

When I was finished, Officer Hastings scribbled a number of things on the sheet I had been

given by the officer at the front.

“Alright, thank you Ms. MacIvish. If you’ll give me your lawyer’s contact information, I can

fax her a copy of this police report directly to help with the restraining order. I will also give you a
copy. If you think in the future that you are in any immediate danger from this woman or anyone else, I

encourage you to call 9-1-1.”

I thanked Officer Hastings, and after taking a photo of him with Daniel with his phone, we left

the building. I let out a sigh as we made our way outside.

“You ok?” Daniel asked.
“Yeah. It’s good. I’m glad I did this. I feel better when I actually do things you know, rather

than dwell over them.”

“I know what you mean. I’m the same way. Whenever I sit around and have nothing to do

except think about the bad things that have happened, things always end up worse.”

“I’m glad you’re here. You know, when it happened, I was so tempted to drink again. I wanted

to, more than anything. But I thought about you. I thought about what you gave up last time, how hard
you’ve worked to get over your own addiction, and that made me stronger. I didn’t want to ruin
another one of your games, and knowing that you’d gone through the same struggles and overcome
them made me know that I could do it too.”

“I’m glad I could be of service. But no matter how much you think it’s thanks to me, ultimately

the decision was up to you. You were the one who resisted, and you’re the one who’s all the better
for it.”

* * *

The next day I got a phone call from Mindy asking me to come in and sign the documents for the

restraining order. I told her about my visit with the cops, and she nodded.

“I got the file faxed to my office by Officer Hastings this morning. It will be good evidence at

the hearing. I’m filing the papers today, we should have a decision about a temporary order in a day
or so. The judge has two business days to decide whether or not to grant it, but I suspect he’ll make
that call pretty quickly with the police report. Hang tight, Kylie. I’ll keep you in the loop.”

I thanked her and left. I was still getting calls, although Sally had apparently given up on me

answering and was only calling two or three times a day. When, the following day, I got a phone call
from Mindy telling me the restraining order was granted, I was more relieved than ever. Sure enough,
the phone calls stopped completely. I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn’t sure how much more I could
take.

Meanwhile, the Sea Lions made it through the first round of the playoffs, winning in five

games. I was thrilled for Daniel. One round down, just a few more to go.

Between studying and hockey my life was more hectic than ever. In a way, it was a good thing.

I didn’t have anything even remotely resembling time to think about the impending lawsuit and to think
back on the memories that caused me so much pain. I absolutely didn’t have the time.

The second round of the playoffs came and went, the Sea Lions winning in a thriller that went

to overtime in Game 7 before Daniel got an assist on the game winner by Jamie Porter. I screamed
like I had never screamed before when I saw the goal light go on and the puck sitting in the back of
the net. The Sea Lions were in the Western Conference Finals, playing San Jose.

When they won that series as well, a nail biter that went to seven games like the previous

series, I was thrilled. Exams had started, they went through the end of the second round and the whole
conference finals, and once they were finished I knew I could focus all of my energy on Daniel, on
doing anything I could to help him win. I had also received news from Mindy Chan that the discovery
process in the lawsuit was ongoing, but that she was submitting a claim to have the lawsuit thrown out
almost immediately.

All in all, everything was going well. Our freezer was filled with trays upon trays of ice cubes

that I made sure to keep full: sometimes after games or practices Daniel would come home and want

an ice bath, so I would fill up the bathtub with cold water and dump all of the ice cubes into it. Every
time I saw Daniel do it my legs would cringe at just the sight, but he swore it made him feel better,
and I knew the science behind it was sound, so I did it. I just knew I would never do it myself.

The night before game one, as we lay in bed in the hotel room in Pittsburgh, my exams finished

so I could be here with him, Daniel and I spoke about the game the next day. He had his arm wrapped
around me, I was nestled in the crook of his arm, leaning into his chest, my hands gently stroking his
hard pecs.

“I’m so lucky to get the chance to get to the Stanley Cup finals twice in a row. It’s a really rare

thing to happen to teams. I’m not going to squander this second opportunity.”

“Absolutely not. I mean, when was the last time the same team made the finals two years in a

row?”

“I’m not sure, really. Boston did it two years out of three recently, but before that, I don’t

know.”

“I know you can do it, you can win it this time.”
“You’re right. I know we can. My focus is better. I’ve felt the tragedy of losing. I know what it

feels like. The other guys know what it feels like. We’re going to do whatever it takes to overcome
that. We’re going to do whatever we need to in order to be faster, stronger, better than Pittsburgh.”

I could hear the steely determination in Daniel’s voice. I could feel his muscles tensing

underneath me just as he thought about it. I knew he was ready. I absolutely knew it.

“You’re going to do this. You’re going to fight like hell, and you’re going to win.”
“You’re damn right.”
While Daniel went with his team to partake in the light morning skate and some team building

activities, I visited the city. I was on edge the whole time. I wanted Daniel to win this game so badly.
Sabrina was texting me constantly, telling me about how she was going to watch the game at a bar,
how much she was hoping Daniel would score, that sort of thing. It was nice to talk to her about it. I
was so thankful that she was my best friend through all of this.

I had bought some tickets to the game when they were first released, and made my way to the

arena, proudly sporting my Sea Lions’ jersey with the name ‘Ross’ on the back with the number 41.
There was some friendly ribbing from Pittsburgh fans, but I never came across anyone actually being
mean on the night.

When the players came out for the start of the game, the energy in the arena was electrifying.

The arena was empty, music was blaring, lights flashed around the stadium and I waved my towel
along with all the other fans as the players came out to play.

As always, I focused on Daniel. The instant he jumped out of the doors and onto the ice, my

breath caught in my throat. He seemed so intense, it was like he was on fire. I knew him so well now,
I could sense he was ready for this. It seemed like his muscles were all tensed, like he was a bullet in
the chamber, ready to be fired. He was ready to go.

The instant the puck dropped, Daniel was on it. He passed to a winger, who carried the puck

into the attacking zone and dumped it in behind the net. The game continued, and it was intense. Both
teams were known for their offense more than their defense. The game was quick, tough and scrappy.
The more I watched Daniel play, the more I wanted him. By the end of the first period, I knew my
panties were soaked. I wanted to run into the dressing room and give him a quickie before the game
continued. He was so sexy, so strong, so masculine compared to everyone else on the ice, I felt like I
just had to have him. I needed him. My heart began to pound faster every time I saw him, every time
he jumped onto the ice, and when he glanced up and grinned at me skating by on his way to the bench

after a shift, I felt like I was going to melt. That man was mine.

When the buzzer sounded and the Sea Lions had officially lost game one, some of my vigour

was gone, but I still knew I had to have Dan. I wanted to give him everything I had, just like he’d
given everything he had.

He came out of the dressing room disappointed, but not defeated.
“A few bad bounces led to a loss, but I’m still confident. We still have six more games, we just

need to win four of them.”

In a way, I was really, really thankful that the playoffs were happening at the same time as

Mindy was dealing with the brunt of the lawsuit. Since she got the restraining order I hadn’t heard
anything at all from Sally Kerr, and apart from that I was letting Mindy deal with everything. That,
combined with the fact that I was doing my best to help Daniel do his best in the playoffs meant that I
had no time to think about anything else. My weakness from before was gone. I didn’t think about the
past, so I didn’t feel the urge to drink. That was gone. I was focused on Daniel. I was focused on the
present, focused on the future.

Mindy called me about three hours before game six was supposed to start. The Sea Lions were

behind by one, this was a must win game.

“Kylie, are you available to talk?” Mindy asked.
“I am, yes.”
“I have good news. I submitted to have the entire case thrown out as being vindictive, and the

judge agreed with me. You’ve won!”

I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding.
“Really?”
“Yes. The judge agreed and berated both the Kerr family and their lawyer for taking on the

case. He said that it was obvious that you were not at fault for the accident, that it was entirely
because of the late Mr. Kerr that the accident occured, and that you were in no way responsible for
anything that happened that night.”

“Thanks, Mindy. Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem. I was happy to be able to help.”
As I hung up the phone, my smile quickly turned into a grin. It was all over. I wasn’t going to

have to worry about the Kerr family anymore. I immediately called Daniel and told him the good
news. I wanted him to know before the game.

“That’s amazing, Kylie. Awesome news.”
“Definitely. I’m really thrilled. Hey, good luck tonight.”
“Thanks.”
When Daniel netted the game winner, I screamed like I’d never screamed before. They were

going to game seven. This was a repeat of the year before, an exact repeat of it. I kissed Daniel when
he came out, congratulating him on the win. I could see the focus, the desire in his eyes, but also a
little bit of fear. I knew what he was facing. He was now in exactly the same situation he had been in
the year before. He didn’t want to hurt himself again. He wanted to conquer his demons, he wanted to
win so he could move on from that night a year ago. I knew exactly how he felt.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine, ok?” I asked, taking his hands in mine. He smiled at me lightly.
“I know. I keep telling myself the same thing. But you know, it feels like such déjà-vu, and I

know exactly what happened the last time.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
“We’re going to fly to Pittsburgh tomorrow, get settled into the city before the game two nights

from now. Shit, I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next 48 hours. I already feel like I’m
going to puke. My instinct is to go work out, but I don’t want to wear myself out too badly before the
game.”

“Well let’s go home and I’ll make sure you do some light exercise yourself,” I teased with a

wink, and Daniel grinned.

“That sounds awesome. Shit, I was going to grab my lucky teddy from my locker before we

went, mind if I meet you at the car?”

“Your lucky teddy?” I asked, noting a opportunity to tease my boyfriend.
“Yeah, that’s right. I used to keep it in my bag when I was little, now he lives in my locker. His

name is Bear.”

“That’s creative.”
“Well I got him when I was four, what do you expect?”
“Fine, I’ll meet you at the car. If he’s been with your hockey gear for twenty years Bear has to

ride in the trunk though.”

“I wash him,” Daniel argued before turning back to go get his lucky charm, and I laughed as I

headed towards the car. I was alone in the underground parking area, and knowing where Daniel
always parked, I hummed a tune to myself as I walked in the middle of the path. There was no one
around, Daniel was always the last of his teammates to leave the rink.

Heading towards the car, I got this weird feeling that I wasn’t alone. I looked around, but

didn’t see anyone. Figuring it must just be my nerves, I kept walking. Suddenly, someone emerged
from the shadows. I would have looked at his face, but my vision was first focused on the gun he was
pointing at me.

I could only stare. I looked up into the face, a face I vaguely recognized, but couldn’t place. He

was in his 20s, with stubble. Suddenly, I recognized him.

“Jordan. Jordan Kerr.”
“So, you recognize me.”
I nodded. He was the older brother of Jeb Kerr, he had been in a few of my classes in high

school.

I had no idea what to do. I was frozen to the spot.
“What do you want?”
“Revenge. You know what you’ve done to my family? My mom just cries every day, my

brother is gone, and it’s all your fault. We tried to take you to court, but your lawyer made sure that
never happened. I’m never going to get any justice for my brother.”

I thought I was going to throw up. This was supposed to be over. Mindy had called me and said

it was all over. Now here was Jeb Kerr’s brother, brandishing a gun. Was he going to kill me? A year
ago, I would have begged for it. I wanted to die. I thought I deserved it.

But now, things were different. I realized as I faced my own mortality that I wanted to live. I

wanted to keep living my life. I wanted to live my life with Daniel.

I wondered where he was. A part of me wanted him to come and save me, wanted him to

rescue me. Another part of me, the less selfish part I guess, wanted him to stay away. I didn’t want
him to have to suffer because of something that happened to me.

“Please don’t kill me. Please, I don’t want to die.” I begged for my life, hoping I was making

an impression. Tears streamed down my face. Bile rose in my throat. It felt exactly like it had on that
night when I realized what had happened. The fear was overwhelming.

“Please,” I whispered, my voice failing.

“My brother also didn’t want to die, I’m betting.”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to kill your brother!” I cried. I knew it wasn’t my fault, but

I was willing to say anything to stop this man from shooting me.

Jordan Kerr’s hands were shaking. I couldn’t stop staring at them, I couldn’t stop staring at the

gun he was holding in them. I could practically feel his finger trembling against the trigger, knowing
that just one millimeter too far and I was done.

“Please. Please. Please just put the gun down Jordan. You can leave. I promise you, I won’t

tell anyone what happened. It’s not too late. Your brother wouldn’t want you to do this,” I told him,
trying to keep my voice down.

“YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO TELL ME WHAT MY BROTHER WOULD WANT,” Jordan

bellowed, coming towards me. I put my hands up and stepped back.

“Ok. Ok, you’re right. I’m sorry.”
That seemed to calm Jordan down slightly, and I started to breathe again rapidly.
I was so terrified, I didn’t know how I managed to stay upright. I wanted to collapse into a

heap, I wanted to roll into a little ball, hide away from the reality that I was facing right now.

“I’m going to do this. I’m going to kill you,” Jordan muttered, almost as though he was trying to

muster up the courage, as though he was egging himself on.

“No, please no. I want to live. Please, let me live,” I cried, the tears coming even stronger.

Suddenly, there was some movement, and the gun went off. I screamed and ducked down
instinctively. I covered my face, when a moment later I realized I wasn’t hit, and I opened my eyes.

Daniel had come back. I could see him struggling with Jordan Kerr. He knocked the gun from

Jordan’s hand and it fell to the cement with a clatter.

I paused for a second, not knowing what to do, before realizing I had to get the gun. I ran

forward and grabbed it carefully, making sure not to touch the trigger. I didn’t know how guns
worked, and I didn’t want to find out right now.

Running to the side, I watched as Daniel struggled with Jordan Kerr. Well, in reality, it wasn’t

much of a struggle. One was a guy with a bit of a gut who probably spent most of his day lying on the
couch watching TV, the other was a highly tuned professional athlete.

Daniel punched Jordan, over and over, until the man lay bleeding on the cement floor of the

parking garage, moaning in pain, blood spurting from his obviously broken nose.

“Kylie, are you ok?” Daniel asked, coming towards me when he had finished beating Jordan to

a pulp.

I nodded. “Oh my God. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Oh my God, you saved my life.”
Daniel took the gun from me, gently, then put the safety back on it.
“Hey, it’s ok Kylie. It’s ok. You can calm down, it’s all going to be fine. I’m going to call the

cops, ok?”

I nodded, still in shock from what had happened. I couldn’t believe it. Had this really

happened?

Daniel made the phone call then came over and wrapped his arms around me.
“Hey, it’s going to be alright,ok?”
“Yeah. I just, I think I’m in shock. I can’t believe he... I can’t believe that...”
“I know. I know. It’s ok, Kylie. Just breathe, ok? He’s out cold now, he can’t hurt you anymore.

The police will be here in a few minutes.”

“You saved, you saved my life,” I whispered, the realization of just what Daniel had done

dawning upon me.

“I doubt it, I don’t think he would have dared to shoot you. You would have been fine. It’s just

scary, I know.”

“Yeah. It is scary.”
That’s when I broke down and started sobbing. I thought this was over. I thought I was done

with it. I didn’t want to have to keep reliving that night over and over for the rest of my life.

Strangely enough, though, I realized I wasn’t really reliving it. The memories of that night

flashed through my brain, yes, but they didn’t come with any of the accompanying pain. I couldn’t feel
the absolute devastation that ran through me when I had realized that I had killed my little sister. I
couldn’t feel any of it. It was like it was a memory in someone else’s life. If I didn’t know better, I
would almost say I was moving on.

A couple minutes later the police showed up. Daniel stuck by me the entire time, his arms

wrapped around me, a warm, comforting cocoon. I knew I wouldn’t have been able to do this without
him.

I went through with the officers what had happened, almost as if I was on autopilot. I was in a

daze. I still didn’t understand exactly what had happened. I had almost died. I had almost been killed.
That would have been it, the end of my life. I would have never been with Daniel again.

Although the paramedics tried to get me to go to the hospital, I refused. All I wanted was to go

home. I wanted to forget this had happened, I wanted to erase it from my mind. I was exhausted.

When Daniel finally pulled into the driveway and we went into the house, I collapsed onto the

couch.

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to get you some water,” Daniel told me, returning a moment later

with a glass full.

“Thanks,” I smiled up at him as he handed me the glass and sat down on the chair next to me.

“Not just for the water. You saved my life. Don’t tell me you didn’t.”

“Even if I did, it was selfish of me. I couldn’t imagine living without you, Kylie. I would have

done anything to save you.”

I leaned up against him and inhaled his scent. He still smelt like soap from his post hockey

game shower. It was funny, it felt like the game was eons ago, and yet it had only ended a couple of
hours earlier.

“It’s weird, you know? For the first time ever, I actually thought about that night, the night of

the accident, and I don’t actually feel the need to drink,” I finally told Daniel, needing to tell him
about it.

“That’s good, isn’t it? It means you’re starting to move on.”
“Yeah. I guess so,” I started, but I wasn’t convinced. “It’s funny, I’ve spent the last couple of

years thinking that feeling would never go away. I kind of thought it would just be a part of my life
forever. Now that it’s gone, I feel weird. I feel like I should still feel the pain, I feel guilty for not
feeling it anymore.”

Daniel held my shoulders gently and looked into my eyes.
“Kylie, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Time will dull that pain, of course.

You’re not any less of a person because you’re moving on with your life. Do you understand?”

I nodded.
“Good. You’re an amazing person. In a couple of years you’re going to be a doctor. You’re

going to be able to heal people, and you’ve already healed me. The feelings you felt so strongly
fading away as you get back to your life is normal, Kylie. It’s absolutely normal.”

“You’re right. I should be happy, if it means I don’t have to fight the urge to drink as much.”

“Absolutely. I mean, you’ve been completely fantastic about making sure you go to your AA

meetings, resisting the urges even when you’ve been under pressures that I can’t fathom, but it would
still be wonderful if the urges reduced still.”

“We should go up to bed. We still need to pack before the flight tomorrow morning.”
“Are you sure? I’m happy to listen, if you need to talk.”
“Thanks. I am sure. I think I just want to go to sleep. It’s weird, thinking about the fact that I

was only moments away from no longer existing on this Earth.”

“I’m so glad you’re still here,” Daniel replied, his soft lips finding mine, sending a current of

electricity running through me. We went upstairs and decided that packing could wait until the
morning.

* * *

The next day Daniel decided to go off the grid completely. I understood one hundred percent.

After the reports came out of a shooting involving the star of the Sea Lions in the underground parking
reporters were clamoring for sound bites and information. The hockey world still being pretty small,
someone somewhere got Daniel’s phone number and the messages came in at a record pace. He left
his phone on the dresser as we grabbed our suitcases and drove to the airport, where the team’s
private jet was waiting to take us to Pittsburgh.

Whenever I thought about Jordan Bell the night before I forced the thoughts out of my head

completely. That wasn’t important right now. What was important was that in just over twenty four
hours Daniel was going to play the most important hockey game of his entire life. I was careful to try
and give him the perfect combination of space to think and attention to make him realize just how
much I cared and to rid him of any small worries he might have.

Before we left I put a new playlist on his iPod, filling it with the most pump-up songs I could

imagine. I didn’t know if he would listen to it or not, as I knew he had his own list of songs he liked
to listen to, but I smiled to myself as I heard the theme to Rocky blaring through his speakers as he sat
in the seat next to me. He had decided to listen to it after all.

The atmosphere on the plane was much more tense than I had ever seen it before between these

players. It was as though everyone was one hundred percent focused on the game the next day. And
funnily enough, I found that I was too. I thought about the opening faceoff, I thought about Daniel going
into the corner, and above all, I hoped that he would be safe, that he wouldn’t re-injure himself.

When we landed in Pittsburgh the team went straight to the hotel. Everyone went to their

rooms. There was no organizing of parties, no plans to go out and drink that night. I went and got
some groceries and made dinner in the small kitchen of our room. I knew Daniel didn’t like eating out
before games, he found the greasy food restaurants made to not fit in well with the macros he liked to
keep. I made spaghetti Bolognese, the sauce being high in meat, giving Daniel the protein he would
need for the next day, as well as carbs.

We ate in silence for a while. I let Daniel dictate whether or not he wanted to speak. After all,

tomorrow was the biggest day of his life. If he wanted to sit and reflect about it, I certainly wasn’t
going to stand in his way.

“I just want it to be over and done with, you know? Shit, it’s the waiting that’s killing me more

than anything,” he finally told me.

“I can’t even begin to imagine. Hell, I’m nervous and I’m not even playing.”
“Yeah. Funnily enough, it’s not really the game I’m worried about. I know how to play. There’s

some nerves there, yeah, but it’s more to do with the injury. I almost feel like I’m psyching myself
out.”

“Well there’s no need for that. Your knee will be fine. You recovered perfectly after the

surgery and you’ve already played what, 90-something games this year? You’re going to be fine.”

“Thanks, Doc,” he replied with a grin. “I’m sure you’re right. Fuck, I can’t wait for tomorrow.”
“It’ll be fine, Daniel.”
He only nodded and went back to his meal. I placed my hand on his knee and he smiled at me. I

wished there was something I could do to make him feel better, to make the time pass, to take him to
the moment he wanted to live out the next day.

It’s funny how time always seems to pass so slowly when you don’t want it to. The next day

seemed to drag on forever. I almost felt like I was going to puke, I couldn’t imagine Daniel’s nerves,
but he held up wonderfully. Throwing down a protein shake with some eggs and toast for breakfast,
Daniel headed to the gym for a light spin session with the team while I paced around the hotel room.

I texted Sabrina for a while, trying to get my mind off things, and she asked me how my exam

results were, now that they had come in. I had completely forgotten about them, and went to the
computer to check.

To my surprise, I had aced every single class I took. Thrilled, I shared the news with Sabrina,

who texted back about 50 exclamation marks.

When we stopped texting I watched TV for a while, trying to get my mind off things, until it

was finally time to go to the arena. I donned my Sea Lions jersey with pride, ROSS written on the
back in big letters. I knew it was a risk, wearing the other team’s jersey to the Stanley Cup finals in
another city, but I’d done it before and no one had bothered me, so I figured it would be fine.

Sure enough, on the bus trip to the arena I got nothing more than some gentle, good-natured

ribbing from Penguins fans. I sat in the seat Daniel had bought me, a couple rows from centre ice. I
was so nervous, I spent the entire time leading up to the game with my hands clasped together, hoping
tonight would go well.

Finally, the warmup over, the lights dimmed and the intro started. The music and lights were

electrifying, coursing through my body as the players came out onto the ice. I watched as Daniel ran
onto the frozen surface, his skate blades slicing through it, propelling him forward with a speed, an
intensity that no one else could match.

I could see the focus, the determination in his eyes. As soon as the puck dropped, Daniel was

everywhere. He skated from end to end, defending as well as he attacked. Still, despite the best
efforts of the Sea Lions, the Penguins could match their every move.

As soon as the three minute mark passed, I let out a sigh of relief. Daniel had made it past the

point where he had injured himself last year. I hoped he would relax a little bit.

The game was fast paced and intense, the puck flying from end to end, each team attacking like

hell’s fury unleashed and then defending like their lives depended on it. Midway through the first
period one of the Penguins scored, finding a hole so small under the goalie that mere millimeters in
either direction and it wouldn’t have gone in.

When the referee pointed to the back of the net and the goal light went off, the crowd went

wild. Everyone grabbed their towels and waved, screaming their heads off. This was what they had
come here to see. I had never experienced a celebration this intense in all the hockey I had seen this
year. There was an energy in the arena here tonight that I couldn’t have ever imagined.

The first period ended with the Penguins still up by one goal to the Sea Lions’ none. I stayed in

my seat during the intermission while everyone else went to get refills on their beer or grab some
food. I was so nervous I didn’t trust myself to get up and walk around, I worried that I might just
completely faint.

The second period started off a little bit more slowly than the first. I figured all the players

must have been completely exhausted after that first effort, and that they needed a bit of a break. Still,
the game was thrilling all the way through. I kept my eye on Daniel every shift. At one point he was
taken down hard in the corner, and the ref immediately blew play down to give the opposing player a
penalty. I stood up to get a better look, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Daniel getting up,
although slowly.

He didn’t even miss a shift. His team on the powerplay, Daniel came out and led the charge.

The Sea Lions took possession of the puck off the faceoff, and when one of the defensemen took a
slapshot from the point, it redirected off Daniel’s stick and over the goalie’s glove, sending the puck
into the back of the net.

I jumped up and screamed without even really realizing what I was doing. Me and the other

couple dozen Sea Lions fans in the crowd cheered as the rest of the team grabbed Daniel in
celebration. He held his arms high, and I couldn’t have been more thrilled for him. The game was
tied. There was still tons of time left to win it.

The second period ended with the teams tied with two goals apiece, each team having scored

once again after Daniel’s goal.

Even though there was ice everywhere, I felt so hot inside the arena as I waited for play to

continue. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. There were still 20 minutes to go. That was so much time.

Fifteen minutes of it elapsed without another goal being scored. Oh God, I don’t even know if

I’ll survive if this game goes to overtime I thought to myself as I looked up at the clock. With less
than five minutes to go, the game was still tied.

One of the defensemen suddenly made a breakout pass out of the zone to one of the wingers,

who passed the puck to Daniel. With a single quick movement, Daniel had banked the puck off the
boards and moved past the defenseman. He was in alone, it was a breakaway. Just him and the goalie.

It was like time slowed to a crawl, like I was watching in slow motion. Daniel deeked once,

twice, then pulled the goalie to the left and came back to the right. He was wide open, the net was
empty. He slid the puck easily into the back of the net.

I erupted with joy as the referee pointed to the back of the net. The Sea Lions cheered in

celebration as Daniel scored the game winner. I screamed as I jumped up and down, tears pouring
down my face. I couldn’t believe it. This was actually happening! There were just over four minutes
left in the game and the Sea Lions were winning by one goal.

When he finally pried himself away from the rest of his teammates, Daniel skated down the ice

towards where I was sitting and winked at me. I could only grin back like an idiot, I was so happy for
him.

As much as they tried, the Penguins couldn’t come back. The final horn sounded and the Sea

Lions’ bench emptied in celebration. Gloves, sticks and helmets flew everywhere as the entire team
jumped on the goalie, burying him completely.

I smiled to myself as I watched Daniel hoist the Stanley Cup, handed to him by the NHL

commissioner. He had worked so hard for this, I knew exactly how much it meant to him. It was funny
to think that when I had first met him he had given up on this moment ever happening. I knew better
than to take all the credit, but I knew that I played a small part in making this moment happen.

Daniel kissed the cup and skated around with it for a bit before passing it on to the goalie, who

passed it on to another player, and so on as the cup made its way around. The Pittsburgh fans were
wonderful, cheering the Sea Lions as they hoisted the cup, despite their team having lost.

The next little while went by like a complete blur. I went down to see Daniel, who grabbed me

in a huge bear hug, picked me up and spun me around like I weighed nothing.

“I did it, Kylie. I fucking did it!” he cried, the joy in his voice obvious.
“I know! Congratulations!” I squealed as he put me down.
“Listen, the guys are going to go party. Are you going to come?”
I shook my head. “Nah. But you go. I’m exhausted, I’m going to go sleep. You go have fun with

the guys. You earned this, Daniel. You absolutely earned it.”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you, Kylie,” he told me, leaning down

and kissing me. Fire coursed through me as his lips touched mine, and I closed my eyes and moaned.

I went back to the hotel and flopped down on the bed. I was completely spent, exhausted from

the events of the day.

I smiled to myself as I thought about where my life had gone. A year ago, I had no hope. I was

an alcoholic, I’d just gone into rehab. I had no hope for my life. I’d given up on it, completely. And
yet now, I knew I was moving on. I no longer felt the crippling pain when I thought about the accident.
I knew that even if I did, I had Daniel. He was my rock, the love of my life. No matter what happened,
he would be there for me.

Even though I went to bed, I found out pretty quickly that I wasn’t going to be able to sleep. Not

a chance. I was on a high, it was like I’d won the cup myself. I turned on the TV and watched the
highlights of the game. As they showed Daniel kissing the cup once more tears began to form in my
eyes. I was so proud of him. He had overcome his addiction and reached his goal. I was starting to be
able to control mine better, to control my feelings better.

Suddenly, I heard a key in the door, and a minute later Daniel was standing in the frame of the

bedroom door.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be partying with the guys?”
“I did for a while, then realized I really wanted to spend the rest of tonight with you,” he

replied, coming over to the bed.

I sat up, expectantly. I could feel my chest pressing against the light fabric of my bra, my

nipples desperate for Daniel’s touch. With one hand he ripped the blanket off the bed completely and
buried his head in between my breasts.

Moans of pleasure escaped my lips as his hands roamed my body, finding the back of my bra

strap and unclipping it, letting my breasts free. His tongue immediately found my left nipple, tweaking
and teasing it until it was stiff as a diamond.

I was getting so turned on, I couldn’t help but grab Daniel’s hair as I felt the juices inside of me

welling up. I already knew my panties, the only thing I was still wearing, would be completely
soaked by now, and it had only been seconds. But I was so desperate for more, my body was begging
for more of what Daniel was giving me.

My soft cries of pleasure made Daniel toy with my nipples even more. Pleasure radiated

through my body from my chest, I could feel my back arching underneath me as if by reflex. I wanted
this so badly, I wanted Daniel so badly.

“Oh God, you’re so fucking hot,” Daniel murmured as he took a second to move his mouth from

my nipple.

“I want you so bad,” I whispered back, before wrenching his shoulder around, surprising him

and making him fall onto his back.

“What’s this?” Daniel asked with a grin as I found myself on top of him.
“This is me giving you my own little reward for winning tonight,” I replied as I practically

ripped his clothes off him. He was already hard, his shaft glistening with precum as it stood at

attention underneath me.

I nestled myself in between Daniel’s legs and looked up at him, a smile on my face. I licked his

shaft from end to end, covering it in my saliva, before I carefully took it into my mouth.

Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the sensations running through my body as I began to suck his

hardness, eliciting small moans of pleasure from Daniel’s mouth as he gently ran his hands through my
hair while my head moved up and down over him.

“Fuck, oh fuck you’re good,” he murmured as he looked down at me, watching me while I

sucked him.

Pangs of desire ran through me while I continued to pleasure him. I wanted him inside of me,

inside other parts of me. My nipples tingled, my sex pulsated with desire. I was so wet, I knew my
body was ready for him.

As I licked the underside of his shaft with my tongue I moved my fingers towards my sex and

found my clit, rubbing the fertile nub, making me moan onto Daniel’s hardness.

“Oh yeah,” he murmured as I continued to pleasure him. I could feel his hips beginning to buck

involuntarily underneath me, and I knew he loved what I was giving him.

Without warning, I suddenly slipped my mouth off his shaft. He watched as I climbed up on top

of him, straddling his hips. His hands landed on my hips as he admired my body. I could see his eyes
roaming up and down, admiring the view of me sitting on top of him.

I let him watch for a couple of moments before guiding his shaft inside of me. As soon as I

pressed down onto his, letting him enter me, I let out a moan of pleasure. My body had been begging
for this, had wanted it. It was more than a want, it was a need.

I sat motionless for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Daniel’s entire rock hard erection being

inside of me before I began to bounce up and down on top of him.

Taking my time, I wanted to make sure Daniel enjoyed this, that he got the most out of it. I

didn’t rush, I took my time, careful to make sure that every single stroke brought us both to new
heights of pleasure.

“Oh Daniel!” I cried out after a few moments. I could barely take it any more. Going this

slowly was driving me insane. I needed to go faster, I wanted to bounce up and down on him as hard
and fast as I could, driving him in and out of me until I came. I picked up the pace, and an involuntary
moan escaped Daniel’s lips.

I threw back my head to enjoy the sensations and felt my hair brushing against the small of my

back. Every little bit of this felt so good, when Daniel’s hand suddenly moved from my hips to my
breast, fondling it lightly as he continued to enjoy what I was giving him.

After a few minutes, I knew neither of us could stand it any longer, and I began to bounce up

and down on him at a faster pace. Daniel helped me by putting his hands back on my hips and
bouncing me up and down on his shaft. I could feel my breasts moving in motion with the rest of us,
and as the pressure inside of me grew, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to take much more of this.

I could feel Daniel’s shaft pulsating inside of me and I knew I wasn’t alone. We were both

close. My legs were like pistons, until finally, with one final stroke, we both came together.

I closed my eyes and cried out as the pleasure overtook me completely. It was like fireworks

were going off in my body. Every muscle in my body seemed to contract as the sensations of pure,
unadulterated bliss washed over me. It was like a tsunami hit me in full force, a tsunami of orgasmic
delight.

At the same time, Daniel’s shaft exploded inside of me. I could feel his hot seed spurting deep

into me even as the walls of my sex clenched over his shaft, over and over.

When the orgasm finally passed, I stayed on Daniel for a minute before leaning over and

resting on top of him. I let my hair fall onto his shoulder as I listened to his heart beat, which was
slowly going back down to normal.

“I love you so much, Kylie,” he told me, stroking my hair.
“I love you too,” I replied, closing my eyes as I savoured this moment.
Everything was perfect right now. Daniel had reached his goal. He had won the Stanley Cup.

He had scored the winning goal, taking his team to victory. I had aced my classes, and was well on
my way to continuing my studies to become a doctor. There was nothing that could stop me now. The
lawsuit was over and done with, Jordan Kerr had been arrested, but more than that I knew I could
deal with anything else that the world threw at me without succumbing to my weakness. I was going to
be a doctor. Daniel had been right. This was what I was meant to do. I was so thankful that he had
come into my life, that he had shown me that not all hope was lost, that there was still a lot of living
left for me to do.

As I drifted off to sleep, I knew I was going to do that living with Daniel. We were absolutely

going to be together forever.

The End

In case you missed the two earlier parts of this series, please feel free to check them out now:

On Thin Ice 1

: Kylie thought her life ended months earlier when the night from hell turned her world

upside down. Instead of finishing medical school, Kylie became an alcoholic. Her parents forced her
into a rehab center, and when a strange new man shows up to group therapy, Kylie feels something for
the first time in months.

It turns out the handsome stranger is none other than Daniel Ross, captain of the Seattle Sea Lions
hockey team. He and Kylie are drawn to each other, each with a dark part of their past they’d rather
forget. But will the fear of exposing themselves make them run from each other as well?

On Thin Ice 2

: As Kylie and Daniel are getting closer to each other, both of them rue the rule at the

clinic that keeps them from having the relationship they both want. But as they spend more time with
each other, Kylie notices the passion in Daniel, and convinces him to get the surgery for his knee and
continue his career in hockey. But when she reveals her own inner demons to Daniel, will he be able
to convince her that she isn’t beyond hope either?

About the Author

Hi! I’m Victoria Villeneuve. I’m a small town girl at heart, with dreams of living in a cabin in

the country with my two dogs and my amazing boyfriend Mike. When I’m not writing you can usually
find me enjoying a nice mocha in my local coffee shop, reading some of my favourite books by the
lake or playing soccer with my friends.

I want to thank you for reading my story, I do hope you enjoyed it. I love to hear from my fans,

so please don’t hesitate to connect with me online:

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