On Thin Ice 2

The days turned into weeks after Daniel and I decided to just be friends, and even though I

preferred being friends with him to ignoring him completely, it was tough. Having to keep my hands
off him, not being able to grab him, pull him to me and kiss him until my lips were dry was so
incredibly difficult, I almost couldn’t stand it.

I couldn’t help it. Every time I saw him, my heart fluttered. My pulse raced, my chest heaved

and my blood felt like it was on fire. I had no idea why I reacted this way to the sight of him. Was it
his muscular body, Daniel being the perfect example of a prime human specimen?

No, somehow it felt like more than that. I had seen hot men before. Sure, none of them were

NHL stars, captain of their team, but there was something different about Daniel. There was a
connection between us. For one thing, I think unlike everyone else in here, Daniel understood my
pain.

He understood what it was like to lose something important, and as a result to lose the fire that

used to live inside of him. I hadn’t told him about that night that changed my life. I didn’t tell him
about my sister. He hadn’t told me the entire story about his injury either. I knew his MCL and ACL
were torn. I had been in medical school, after all. But I didn’t know the rest. I knew there was more to
that story, and I knew Daniel would share when he was ready. But for now, we just knew that we
were two people going through a similar situation. We knew what the other one felt, and even without
either of us revealing more details than we were comfortable with, we knew each other.

He was addicted to painkillers, I was addicted to alcohol. Both of us turned to addictive

substances to try and forget what had happened to us. I wanted him so much, both mind and body. This
was more than just a physical attraction. I liked him. I wanted to know more about him, know about
his life, know about his hopes and dreams. But the two of us knew there wasn’t a chance anything
could happen between us. After all, if anything did, we would both be kicked out of the rehab centre,
and neither of us were in a position to go back to the outside world just yet. Daniel had just arrived a
few weeks ago, and was still trying to get himself in a good place mentally. For myself, I’d been here
a while, and my withdrawal symptoms were gone, but the deep seated, underlying problems that led
to my alcohol addiction certainly weren’t fixed.

So instead, I had to settle with simply being friends with Daniel. I knew neither one of us were

happy with the situation. I could see the desire in his eyes every time he looked at me. I could
practically feel his eyes on my ass when I walked away from him, and I wiggled it just a little bit
extra for him as my own body reacted to the knowledge of his glance, the muscles of my sex clenching
with desire.

It was a constant battle between my body: a part of me enjoyed spending time with Daniel. He

was a nice guy, he was funny, he was actually pretty smart for an athlete, and he understood me. But at
the same time, a part of me wanted to hide away from him. It was torture to look into those gorgeous
eyes, to stare at that gorgeous body when he took his shirt off and know that I couldn’t have it. It took
all my willpower not to grab him and drag him into my bedroom, rip off his clothes and have him take
me like I’d never been taken before.

One thing that really stuck out to me, that I noticed more than anything, was that Daniel’s

competitive spirit had definitely not died away. Once a week everyone in the rehab center played
sports. Usually it was some sort of team sport, like soccer or touch football, or volleyball. Sometimes
we would do individual sprinting, or various track and field events. I noticed over and over that no

matter what sport we played, Daniel always played it to the limit. He had absolutely not lost his
competitive edge.

Whenever I saw him beat everyone else in a race for the umpteenth time, always checking his

time with the instructor to see if it was an improvement on his personal best, I wondered what had
happened to him, what must have happened to destroy his desire to play hockey. He told me he had
lost the fire inside of him that drove him to play, but the competitive spirit was still there. I saw it
every time Daniel went onto the field, the court, wherever. It was definitely there.

Still, I knew Daniel didn’t want to talk about it, so I never asked. I had to respect his privacy,

after all.

I also decided that I should do my best to help Daniel keep his knee in as good a shape as

possible Originally, he had resisted.

“I’m never going to play hockey again, Kylie, what’s the point?”
“For one thing, you still want to be able to walk like a normal person for the rest of your life.

You’ve got a serious injury. You shouldn’t be exercising how you are, you should be resting as much
as possible and strengthening your quads and hamstrings carefully.”

“I am doing all that, I do strengthen them.”
“Well, you shouldn’t exercise as much as you are. Please, Daniel, at least wear a knee brace. It

will help keep your knee stable.”

“Ok, I’ll do it for you, Kylie,” Daniel replied with a grin, and I blushed. “You care so much. I

love that about you. You have a genuine gift for wanting to help people heal.”

I could tell a shadow passed over my face when I said those words, and Daniel must have

noticed, because he quickly changed the subject.

“I’ll wear the knee brace, and I promise to keep my leg muscles strong.”
“Good. You shouldn’t be playing soccer or anything like that either, but I guess it’s hopeless to

try and convince you otherwise.”

Daniel grinned at me. “Well, it is. Besides, not to be insulting, but no one here is actually any

good at soccer, I’m not going to injure myself playing with people who could be beaten by a squad of
fourteen year olds.”

“You never know. It only takes one moment to ruin everything.”
This time it was my turn to see the shadow pass over his face, and I knew I’d hit his nerve

without meaning to.

“Let’s get going, anyway. Sports starts in half an hour, if you’re going to get a knee brace from

the nurse before then you’re going to have to ask quickly.”

“Yes, Doctor,” Daniel teased, saluting me, and I stuck my tongue out at him.
Forty minutes later the sports part of our healing process got under way. Our fitness instructor,

Adam, decided that with the nice weather we were having we should go outside, where we would
play soccer.

“Daniel, you definitely shouldn’t be playing soccer,” I told him. “It’s such a high impact

activity. Just hang around the side.”

“I swear, sometimes I think you’re just here to ruin my fun,” he complained.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt even more. Listen, I’ll come sit with you when I’m not

playing, that way you won’t be bored.”

I should have known that regardless, there was no way Daniel would be bored during the

soccer game. Instead, he began to yell instructions at various people on the field, basically acting as a
de-facto coach for our team. I never really played sports growing up, but quickly realized that his

advice was pretty good. I smiled to myself. That competitive spirit was definitely there, even when I
had convinced him that he couldn’t actually play. He was still helping me win.

“KEEP YOUR MAN TO THE OUTSIDE KYLIE! DON’T LET HIM GET THE ANGLE!” I

heard Daniel cry out at me as Sam, one of the other team’s attackers, came at me with the ball. I tried
to do as Daniel said, and sure enough, eventually Sam ran out of field and had to pass back to Fiona,
from who Amanda stole the ball and made her way up the field.

“Thanks!” I yelled at Daniel, and he gave me the thumbs up sign.
Suddenly I heard a cry from further down the field. I looked up and saw everyone huddling

around Amanda. Adam made his way over, trying to get everyone to move away.

I immediately went over to her, and I saw Daniel climbing down the steps from the bleachers

as well.

“Everyone move back, give her some room,” I ordered. Slowly, between both Adam and

myself ordering people around, everyone began to move back. We both leaned over Amanda, who
was clutching her leg.

“I think... I think it’s broken,” she told us in between tears. I took one look at the swelling and

knew she was almost certainly right. The bottom of her leg had swelled up, it was the size of a
grapefruit already.

“Daniel, I need you to find me a piece of wood and some string or something. Adam, I want

you to organize an ambulance to come and get Amanda, and then bring me some ice in a bag.”

They both went to do as I had told them. I ordered everyone else to go back into the building,

and they grudgingly did so.

“It’s going to be ok, Amanda,” I told her as Daniel came back with a plank of wood and some

sheets which he immediately set about tearing into strips.

“I’m scared, Kylie. I’m really scared.”
I took Amanda’s hand.
“Listen to me Amanda. You’re going to be fine. I want you to take some deep breaths and lie

down, ok? Adam’s calling an ambulance, they’re going to take you to the hospital, they’re going to do
some X-Rays and then put a cast on your leg. I know it hurts, but you’re going to be fine. Deep
breaths, ok? I’m here, I’m not going to leave you.”

Daniel handed me the board and I slipped it carefully under Amanda’s leg as she lay down. I

carefully made a splint with the torn pieces of sheet, careful not to tie them around the injury, then
piled up the remainder of the sheets and placed the splint on them to keep Amanda’s leg elevated.

The entire time I gave her all of my attention. I made sure her pulse stayed relatively normal,

that she didn’t go pale or break into a sweat or become short of breath. I didn’t want her to go into
shock.

“Kylie?”
“Yes, Amanda?” I asked.
“I don’t want to die.”
“You’re not going to die, Amanda. You’ve got a broken leg, that’s all. No one dies from

broken legs in America these days. You’re going to be fine. Trust me.”

Just then I saw Adam coming back towards us.
“The ambulance is on its way, here’s some ice,” he told me, handing me the bag, which he had

wrapped in a towel.

“Perfect, thanks Adam.”
I carefully iced the swelling on Amanda’s leg, which had gotten even larger, until the

ambulance arrived.

“Do you want me to come with you to the hospital?” I asked. Normally we had to get

permission if we wanted to leave the grounds of the building, but I figured there wouldn’t be a
problem granting me an exception in this case.

“No, thanks Kylie. You’ve done so much for me already, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“You will be Amanda. You will be.”
Daniel stood next to me as we watched the ambulance drive off.
“You were really amazing, you know?”
“Thanks, but it’s nothing. It’s what I was trained to do.”
“I think there’s more than that. You care for others. It’s obvious in the way you act. You could

have just done the first aid part of things, but you didn’t just do that, and exceptionally well I might
add, you did more than that. You really made sure she was ok. I like how compassionate you are.”

Embarassed, I didn’t know what to say, so I just stepped closer to Daniel, until there were only

centimeters separating us. I could practically feel the heat radiating off him, and I felt tingles running
through my skin. It seemed like he was coming close to the same comment he had made before about
me having a gift for healing people, but the way he phrased it was different. I didn’t feel that shadow
cross my face, I didn’t have the terrible flashbacks and memories of that terrible night coming back to
me.

“We should go back in,” I eventually said, and Daniel agreed.
“I’ll see you at dinner tonight?”
“Yeah, sure.”

* * *

Thanks to a shower that didn’t want to cooperate (I knew there was hot water in there, the

shower just didn’t want to give it to me) I was late to dinner. It was funny, I thought, how things
change. Before Daniel had joined us at the rehab center I always ate dinner either before or after
everyone else, so as to minimize the chances that someone would want to talk to me. Now, however, I
usually went down around seven, when I knew Daniel ate his dinner, and we’d sit at a table at the
back talking.

When I finally showed up around seven thirty, Daniel was already busy conversing with Fiona,

the only other real friend I had in here. Fiona was a real Stepford wife, her face always perfectly
made up, flirting with every single guy in here.

“Hey Daniel, I’m here to rescue you from Fiona’s grasp,” I told him as I sat down, winking at

Fiona, who pretended to be outraged.

“You make me out to be some kind of witch or something,” she retorted.
“Now now ladies, no fighting over me,” Daniel added, putting his napkin on the plate. “I’m

finished anyway, so I might leave you two to talk about how amazing I am in private,” he added with
a grin as he picked up his tray and left.

I scootched my chair in next to Fiona’s.
“Have you heard anything about Amanda?” she asked, and I shook my head.
“Not yet. I’m sure she’s fine. She’ll probably be back here later tonight.”
“That’s good, it looked like a scary fall.”
“I missed it completely, I wasn’t watching.”
“Oh, well, it was one of those things where she went to kick the ball, but she kind of stepped

on it instead and fell down, and her leg twisted under her when she landed.”

“Ouch. Yeah, I can see how that can lead to a break.”

“So it is broken then?”
I nodded. “I’ll be really surprised if it isn’t. I mean, there’s always a chance it’s not, but I

really doubt it. That leg was swollen up almost instantly.”

“I know, I saw it, it was huge! When Jacob, my youngest, broke his arm skateboarding when he

was six he came home and his arm was the same way.”

“Yeah, the human body is funny that way.”
“Speaking of human body, you’re looking good lately.”
“Thanks, Fiona. I should say the same about you. I was saying to Daniel that I wouldn’t be

surprised if you tell me you’re leaving sometime soon.”

“I’m hoping it’ll be in the next two weeks. I miss my boys, and they’re going to be coming

home next month. I’d like to be there for them when they are. But hey, I was talking about you, not me.
I think you’ve got a crush on our resident hockey player. Am I wrong?”

I felt the blush creep up my face immediately.
“What? Of course you’re wrong. You’re crazy!”
I didn’t want anyone to know that every time I so much as looked at Daniel Ross I began to

fantasize about him, dreaming of what he would look like naked, imagining him naked on top of me in
my bed, taking me to new heights of pleasure...

“I dunno, I’ve seen the way you look at him.”
“Daniel and I are just friends. Besides, if we were going to be more than that, which we’re not,

we’d both get kicked out of here.”

“Whatever, Kylie. You only live once.”
“You’re supposed to be the older, wiser woman giving me solid advice on how to live my life

well, not telling me to bang the hot guy and get kicked out of rehab.”

Fiona laughed. “I’m not the type of person who gives out good advice, or I wouldn’t be here

myself, would I?”

“Fair enough. But no, honestly, Daniel and I are just friends.”
“Ok, ok, I believe you.” She lowered her tone. “But I still think you should go for it if you get

the chance.”

“You’re impossible,” I laughed, hitting her arm lightly.
“Hey, when I was your age, I already had two kids and a rich husband. You need to get on with

things if you intend to catch up with me.”

I rolled my eyes at Fiona.
“Unlike you, I’m not a gold digger.”
“Hey, I love Kevin. He’s a great husband, and he’s not way older than me. I married for love.

He just happened to also have a lot of money.”

“Alright, let’s call a truce. I won’t call you a gold digger if you stop trying to turn me into one

by chasing after Daniel.”

“Fine. Now eat your food, I’m going to go get some desert.”
When Fiona left, then came back with some ice cream, I couldn’t help but worry a bit about

what she had said. If Fiona had noticed that I had a thing for Daniel, did other people pick up on it as
well? Would Doctor Emma ask me about Daniel, try and see whether we were having a relationship?
I knew they couldn’t kick us out of here without proof, and I certainly didn’t want to give them any. I
was going to have to be a lot more careful around Daniel, and make sure that what I felt inside didn’t
manifest itself on the outside.

* * *

I actually thought I did pretty well to hide my feelings for Daniel over the next couple weeks. I

imagined that if anyone thought there was anything going on between us before, they would have
changed their mind. I told him about what Fiona had said, and Daniel agreed that we should stay apart
a little bit more than before, and as a result I didn’t see him all that much anymore.

At sports, and at group therapy however, there was no avoiding him. That was fine. I went

back to never talking in therapy. The only time I had broken my silence and shared a story was that
first day Daniel showed up. Doctor Emma always asked me why I didn’t want to share, why I didn’t
want to heal. I never told her that I didn’t want to heal, that I didn’t deserve it.

Two weeks after Amanda broke her leg, Adam decided we should have a tennis tournament.

After all, with Amanda no longer able to participate in sports, we had the perfect number of people to
make a doubles tourney work. We had to pick a partner, and while everyone wanted to be with
Daniel, he picked me.

I smiled shyly. I had never played tennis before outside of here. I knew I was at a

disadvantage. This was a rich people’s rehab center. My parents were footing the bill, although they
weren’t really that rich, just two relatively good incomes that paid the bills and let them save a little,
in the hopes that they wouldn’t lose me. Nearly everyone else here had been or still was a member of
a country club, having grown up playing tennis. Daniel and I were the only ones who didn’t, although
Daniel was so athletic he could usually easily beat everyone else at every sport, no matter how many
years they’d been playing it.

Our first matchup was between Sandy and Alfred, two people I barely knew. While I missed

the ball nearly every time it was served to me, Daniel made up for my mistakes and we beat them
easily.

Our next match, against Fiona and her pretend-boyfriend Sam, was a lot more difficult, but we

won out in the end.

“You’re not as bad at tennis as I thought you’d be,” Daniel told me as we high fived.
“I’m not sure if I should be insulted by that,” I replied. I couldn’t help but notice the light sheen

of sweat covering his body, giving him a slightly dishevelled look. His eyes sparkled as he thrived on
the competition.

“No, it’s a compliment,” Daniel replied.
“Good, because you shouldn’t be playing tennis at all with you knee.”
“Don’t worry about my knee. It’s fine. I’m wearing the brace like you told me to.”
“Ok, good. If we need to forfeit to stop you from breaking yourself for good though, just let me

know.”

“I don’t know the meaning of the word forfeit. Anyway, we’re in the final, so let’s get ready to

go. I want to win the chocolate bars I saw Andy bringing in earlier.”

“Really? That quickly? I didn’t realize there’d be prized, maybe I should start trying! Who are

we playing?”

“Nathan and Sara.”
Another two people I didn’t really know. I knew they were both in their late 40s. Nathan was

an executive for one of the major companies in Seattle, and I didn’t know if Sara had a job or stayed
at home with her kids, or what. Either way, they both looked pretty fit. I was a bit nervous. Despite
my comment earlier about trying, I didn’t really care about whether we won or lost, but I knew Daniel
did, and I wanted to win this for him.

We won the first game, but only just. We were playing best-of-three, and as we took the early

lead in the second game, I was feeling optimistic. Unfortunately, thanks to a major error from me,

Nathan and Sara were able to come back and win. I felt guilty about it and apologized to Daniel
during the break, but he waved me off.

“It’s fine, these things happen. It’s not your fault.”
It was all coming down to this last game. We fell behind quickly, and for a little while I thought

we were going to lose. Nathan and Sara had match point, but luckily, while it was their serve, they
were serving to Daniel. He had no problems whatsoever returning serves, and I knew there was a
chance we would come back and win it.

Nathan served the ball, and Daniel sprung over on his bad knee to get at it. I could tell straight

away that he had hurt himself. He froze, then almost like he was in slow motion, he fell to the court,
missing the ball, which landed in bounds. We had lost. I immediately went over to see if Daniel was
ok, but he pushed me away. He threw his racket to the floor, breaking the cheap aluminum frame, and
stormed back into the building, half limping because of his knee. He was angry, I could tell.

I immediately chased after him. I had a sneaking suspicion I knew where Daniel was going to

be, and sure enough, he was in the basement gym. He was sitting on a bench, his back to me,
swearing.

“FUCK. FUCKING HELL.”
“Daniel?” I asked gingerly, not wanting to scare him.
“Go away Kylie. FUCK. I can’t FUCKING believe I lost the game. I FUCKING LOST IT.

FUCK.”

“Hey, it’s ok Daniel. It was just a friendly tournament,” I told him, ignoring his demand that I

leave and sitting next to him on the bench. When I looked into his eyes, however, I knew there was
more than that. There was so much pain, it looked like he wanted to cry.

“Is your knee ok?”
“It’s not the knee. My knee’s fine. It hurts a bit, but it’s fine.”
I rested my hand on his thigh. “Ok. It’s not your knee. Listen, if you want to talk about it, I’m

here.”

Daniel’s breathing was heavy. His fists clenched over and over. I could tell he was struggling

with something inside his head. I knew the feeling all too well. Finally, he jumped up with a
limberness that I couldn’t have imagined coming from someone experiencing an injury like his. He
paced around the room.

“You know, I want you to know, Kylie. Maybe telling you will help. I think you’ll understand.”
I waited as he continued to pace, staring at the ground, trying to decide what to tell me.
“You know I hurt my knee, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that’s not the whole story. I mean, it is, but it’s not.”
“I know what you mean Daniel, go on.”
“It was the Stanley Cup Playoffs. This was something I had worked for my entire life. My

entire fucking life was dedicated to this moment. To winning this trophy. Do you understand what
that’s like?”

“I do. I spent every waking moment since I was fifteen working towards being a doctor.”
“Yes. Exactly. You volunteered at a clinic when you were an undergrad for experience, I spent

hours at the gym. Same thing. You know the hours, what it takes from you. It consumes you. It’s your
life. You want nothing more than that. Nothing at all.”

He paused, as though trying to figure out how to continue.
“We were two minutes into game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final. I was so ready for that game. I

was prepared. It was funny, it should never have happened that way. Seattle and Vancouver should
never have met in the Stanley Cup Finals, they were going to move us into the same division in the
following year, so we’d be in one of the Western divisions. Either way, I was ready. I had worked
my entire life for this moment. All those hours of blood, sweat and tears. All that time in the gym, all
that time on the ice. All those days when I woke up at five in the morning to get ready for practice,
they were all going to be worth it when I led the Seattle Sea Lions to victory.”

He paused for a while, figuring out how to phrase what happened next.
“It was two minutes into the game. I was chasing down a puck in the corner in the offensive

zone. The icing had been waived off. I went in for the puck a bit too aggressively, and was slightly off
balance. One of their players came in and tried to get the puck off me, and it knocked me sideways. I
went feet first into the boards and my knee exploded completely. It was a fluke, a complete fluke. I’ve
done the same thing hundreds of times, hell probably even thousands of times before, and I’d never
been injured. And yet this time, it happened. There’s video of it on the internet. I was on the ground,
clutching my knee. And it was funny, despite the ridiculous amount of pain I was in, pain like nothing
I had ever felt before in my life, what absolutely killed me was the fact that I knew my game was
over. I wasn’t going to get to play in game 7. I wasn’t going to have the chance to win the Stanley Cup
for my team. I had worked my whole life for this moment, and two minutes in that moment was taken
away.”

Daniel was calmer now, noticeably calmer. He came and sat back down on the bench next to

me, and I said nothing, but took his hand in mine.

“I tried to get back up. The trainers, they were there. They had come out right away. I

remembered trying to get back up, and everyone telling me to stay down. ‘I need to play. I need to
fucking play,’ I remember saying. I wanted to play, more than anything. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t put
any weight on my knee at all. It was the worst feeling on the planet, knowing that it was gone. My
opportunity was gone. That game was going to be played, and I wasn’t going to be involved in it.”

My heart absolutely ached for Daniel as he told me his story. I could only imagine the

heartbreak he must have felt.

“I watched the game from the dressing room. I cried. For the first time in my adult life, I cried

as the trainer helped me take off my equipment. They wanted me to go to the hospital straight away,
but I refused. I had to watch the game. They scored with two minutes to go to take the lead. We lost.
We lost the Stanley Cup. I let my team down.”

“You can’t have let them down, you couldn’t have expected to get injured.”
“I know. I kept telling myself that, everyone kept telling me that, but I still felt guilty. It was a

freak accident, it wasn’t the other player’s fault, but I blamed myself nonetheless. I still do.”

“I understand. I completely understand,” I replied, my own feelings mirroring his own. I knew

exactly how he felt, blaming himself. I knew absolutely exactly how he felt.

“I watched Henrik Sedin hoist the Stanley Cup on the TV in the locker room, and I cried. He

passed it to his brother, he passed it to Corey Schneider, then the whole team got the Cup. I watched
as they skated around the rink with it. They had home ice advantage. Their fans were cheering like
nothing else. It absolutely destroyed me to see. That was supposed to be me, and while the Vancouver
Canucks were skating around, hoisting the Stanley Cup above them, I was in so much pain I couldn’t
even stand up. I never even got the chance to help my team win it. I let them down. I let them down
when it counted the most. I was the captain, and there I was, watching the captain of the other team
kiss the cup.”

He was close to tears just telling me about it, I could tell.

“I eventually went to the hospital. That’s when they gave me the painkillers. Oh boy, did that

kill the pain. It made me stop feeling anything, and that was way better than what I’d been feeling
before. So, I kept taking them. And I took them more and more. I just wanted to forget. I needed to
forget. When my best friend, our goalie, Ben, figured out what was going on, he encouraged me to get
help, but I refused. So, he went to the team doctors. They told me I had to come here. I was going to
refuse, but then the team held an intervention. I realized how much those guys meant to me, and I
came. But I’m still not going to play hockey again. I can’t go through that again. I just... I just can’t.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. I rested my head on Daniel’s shoulder as he

dealt with his inner demons. Eventually, I spoke.

“Thanks for telling me your story. I know you feel like you’re the only one who’s ever gone

through this, but believe me, I know exactly what you were feeling. I know what you went through. I
know the despair you felt at losing something more important to you than anything, and your complete
lack of desire to continue on afterwards.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I can tell you do. It’s tough, you know? It’s fucking tough. When I lost us the

match out there, that’s what it reminded me of. My knee gave out and I didn’t have a chance to get at
the ball. I freaked out completely. It just reminded me of everything I felt, every single ounce of pain
that ran through me as I watched my team lose the Stanley Cup. I just wanted pills. I wanted to down
as many as I had to in order to forget again. I wanted them more than anything in that moment.”

“I know. I know exactly how you feel. Alcohol made me numb. It made me forget, and I didn’t

want to remember. It will get better. You will learn to live with the emotion. I promise you that, but
it’s never easy.”

Suddenly, I let out a small cry as I looked down at Daniel’s leg. I hadn’t realized that there was

blood pouring down it. He must have hurt it when he fell to the ground. It wasn’t like one of his major
arteries had been hit, but there was definitely a good amount of blood. I couldn’t believe I didn’t
notice it before, I must have been so wrapped up in his story.

“I didn’t realize you were bleeding,” I exclaimed, jumping up to find a first aid kit. I knew

there had to be one around here somewhere, we were in a gym, after all. I found it on a shelf near the
exit and quickly came back with it to Daniel.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. It doesn’t hurt on the outside nearly as much as on the inside.”
“No, but you’re still losing way too much blood to just leave it there bleeding.”
I opened the box and grabbed a large bandage, which I pressed to the wound.
“Keep that there until the bleeding stops, I’ll be right back,” I ordered, grabbing a small cloth

from the kit and going into the change room.

When I came back with my cloth, which was now wet, Daniel was still obediently holding the

bandage to his leg.

“Has the bleeding stopped?” I asked.
“I think so, mostly,” he replied, moving the bandage aside so I could have a look. Sure enough,

the bleeding had basically ebbed, only a tiny amount of red still leaked from the wound. I took my
cloth and very carefully cleaned the wound, making sure there were no little bits of rock or anything
still inside of Daniel.

I grabbed some antibiotic cream from the kit and gently spread a thin layer of it across the

wound. I was all too aware of Daniel’s eyes watching me as I stroked his skin, and I could feel my
own body reacting in a way I didn’t want it to.

When I was finished, I took a fresh bandage from the kit and wrapped it around the wound.
“Good. You should be fine. Take these extra bandages and change it every day, then in a few

days take the bandage off completely and let the wound air heal.”

“Thank you doctor,” Daniel replied with a grin, and I realized just how close we were to one

another. The tension between us was palpable. I could feel the electricity between us, I could feel my
lips moistening, and other parts of me moistening as well. I could feel the heat radiating off him, and
as he moved his head closer to mine, I moved in as well.

He was intoxicating, there was no way to resist him. I didn’t want to resist him. Fuck the

consequences. I wanted Daniel, and I wanted him now.

When he was only inches away from me, he suddenly pulled away.
“I’m sorry, Kylie. We shouldn’t do this. We can’t do this.”
“I know,” I sighed, pulling away.
“You’re so god damned good at what you do,” Daniel told me. “I know you bit my head off last

time, but I honestly think you should think about becoming a doctor again.”

A shadow passed through my eyes. Memories flashed before me, the pain of them hitting me

like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t become a doctor anymore. I just couldn’t. Not after what happened.

I shook my head slowly.
“No. No, I can’t.”
“But why not? You’ve told me I should go back to playing hockey, isn’t this the same thing for

you?”

“Yes, but you don’t get it. I watch you play sports. I see the fire of competition inside of you. I

see that need you have to win, to have it all.”

Daniel smiled and shook his head. “You don’t get it either, then. I see you help me. I see you do

whatever you can to help me with my knee. I saw you with Amanda the other day. You’re different
when you’re healing people, Kylie. I can tell you were meant to do it. I know you don’t want to
anymore, that whatever happened to you made you want to quit, but I can also see that you’ve still got
just as much fire in you as before. I guess maybe we both do.”

I thought about what Daniel was saying. It made sense in a way. But still, I knew what I had

gone through. I didn’t want to become a doctor anymore. After all, how could I? After what had
happened, I wasn’t able to heal people. I knew that. I couldn’t become a doctor.

I shook my head slowly.
“No, I know what you’re saying Daniel, but it won’t happen. I won’t become a doctor. I can’t. I

just can’t face it.”

“Maybe not now. But please keep it in mind, Kylie. Thanks for the first aid,” he added with a

wink, getting up. “I guess I should go apologize to Sara and Nathan for storming off the court like that.
I’ll see you later, ok?”

“Yeah.”
When Daniel left, I sat around for a while, thinking. He was wrong. He was absolutely wrong.

There was a major difference between us: Daniel was incredible at sports. I, on the other hand, the
person who had dedicated her life to healing people, had done the opposite. No, Daniel didn’t know
the whole story. If he did, he would change his mind. I knew he would.

Still, the fact that he made me think of these things worried me. What had happened to the Kylie

that spent her days in a depressed funk, not thinking about anything except the guilt that ravaged her
constantly?

I realized as I sat there that it had been days, maybe even weeks since I’d just sat on my bed,

staring at the ceiling and punishing myself for that night. It was all because of Daniel. Ever since he’d
shown up, I was, well, I was happy. I couldn’t believe that one person could do that to me, and I

wasn’t sure I liked it. I had accepted my fate. I was going to be lonely, depressed and guilt-ridden for
the rest of my life. And yet here came Daniel, and in an instant I changed. I actually felt happy when I
was around him. I had relegated happiness to being one of those things I would never feel again. And
yet, I couldn’t help it. I enjoyed every second I spent with him.

I wondered what was happening to me. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just keep

living the depressed life I had accustomed myself to?

* * *

I didn’t see Daniel for a few days after that time in the gym. I wanted to give my body some

time to cool off, my mind some time to refresh itself. I wouldn’t be lying if I said I was avoiding him.
Daniel was shattering the reality I had created for myself, forcing me to rethink things I had long ago
decided weren’t in my future.

Finally, we saw each other at group therapy, and after the session with Doctor Emma, Daniel

called out to me in the hallway. I stopped.

“Hey, Kylie. Listen, can I talk to you?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Cool. I have some pretty big news. Can we go somewhere private?”
I nodded. We ended up outside in the courtyard, sitting under a big tree providing us some

shade on the hot summer’s day. The light breeze ran through my hair as I looked at Daniel. His eyes
seemed to shine, I could tell the news he had was important.

“I’ve decided to go through with the surgery. I’m going to get me knee fixed.”
“Really? That’s fantastic.”
“Yeah. I spent the night I saw you thinking about it, and I think you’re right. I want to give it

another shot. I will win that Stanley Cup. Next year it’s going to be mine.”

“I’m really glad to hear that. When are you going to have the surgery?”
“Next Tuesday. I’ve got a physio from the team coming in daily helping me do the pre-surgery

rehab workouts, so that should reduce my recovery time afterwards. I wanted to ask you, Kylie, if
you’d be willing to come with me when I get the surgery done.”

“Really? Me? Of course, but why?”
“Because without you I never would have considered doing this. I thought about what you said

a few days ago. I’ve thought about what you’ve been saying, and you’re right. I want to do this. I want
to do it for my teammates, I want to do it for you, and I want to do it for me. Hockey is the most
important thing in my life, and I’m not going to let a freak accident make me give it up completely.”

To my surprise, I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes. I was actually tearing up listening to

Daniel speak. Even as he told me about his plan, I could feel the intensity inside of him growing. I
could feel that fire which was there as he spoke about his recovery, the way he wanted to treat it
aggressively, so he could be on the ice as soon as possible. I regretted more than ever that we
couldn’t be together. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. I wanted to kiss him, to make him mine
completely. I wanted to take him, right here in the middle of the courtyard, bouncing on top of him as
the wind ran through my hair and he looked up at me from the grass he lay on...

I forced those thoughts from my head. This was actually really good news. I had hoped Daniel

would go through with his surgery, and now he was going to. He was going to try and make a
comeback in hockey, and he wanted me there with him at the hospital.

“Thanks for asking me to be with you during your surgery.”
“No problem. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it would be best for both of us.”
I didn’t ask what he meant by that, but my mind immediately thought about the fact that I was

going to have to get a day pass to be allowed to leave the clinic. I knew in reality there probably
wouldn’t be too many problems. I had already been here longer than most people, and I think Doctor
Emma knew that I wanted to stay here more for the rest of my mental issues rather than simply my
alcoholism.

Still, the next day when I went to ask for a letter from her to give to the head of the clinic, in

order to get my pass to leave on the day of Daniel’s surgery, I was nervous. I stood outside the door
of her office for a few seconds before finally pressing my knuckles to the hard wood and knocking.

“Come in!” came Doctor Emma’s voice from inside. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for

an instant, then opened the door.

I had been in this office plenty of times, of course. This was where we had our one-on-one

therapy sessions, during which I told Doctor Emma virtually nothing, and she simply tried to
encourage me to speak, to allow myself to heal from the wounds that I had caused. The office was
plainly furnished, with a desk and chairs against the window, and the traditional brown psychiatrist’s
couch on the other side of the room against the wall.

Doctor Emma was sitting at her desk, so I took the seat in front of her.
“Yes, Kylie? What can I do for you?” she asked with a smile, putting down the papers she had

been reading and giving me her full attention. I had to give one thing to Doctor Emma: she was very
good at her job, she always made one feel as though they could really speak with her.

“I don’t know if you know, but Daniel Ross has decided to have the surgery on his knee so that

he can play hockey again.”

“I did not know that, although it is good news. Very good news, in fact.”
“Anyway, he asked me if I would come to the hospital with him on the day. His surgery is

booked for next Tuesday, and I’m wondering if you would give me the pass to go and spend the day at
the hospital.”

Doctor Emma looked at me carefully for a minute. I couldn’t help but wonder what she was

thinking about. Was she going to say no? Would she tell me I can’t? Was she going to take this away
from me? Or would she go the other way? Would she just say yes, and get me to leave? I hoped so.

“I see this is the first time you have shown any desire to leave this place. You’ve never

mentioned anything about what you plan to do with your life when you leave and re-enter the real
world.”

“I never had a reason to think about it before. Besides, it’s just going to be for one day.”
“So it will. You have struck up quite the friendship with Daniel Ross, I see.”
“Yes, Daniel and I are friends.”
“Do I need to remind you about the policy about patients here being romantically involved?”
I looked at my feet.
“No, Doctor Emma. You don’t need to remind me. We’re friends, that’s all it is.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I will give you the permission to go, I will write a letter authorizing you to

go for the day, and I will send it to Christopher, who will issue you the pass. I believe you can go out
in the world, even under such a high pressure situation as a friend’s surgery, without succumbing to
alcohol.”

“I know I can. Thank you, Doctor Emma.”
I stood up to leave, glad to have gotten the permission I wanted.
“And Kylie?” Doctor Emma asked as I got up to leave.
“Yes?”
“Don’t forget what I’ve said about dating other members of the clinic.”

“I won’t. Thanks Doctor Emma.”
I left the room with my heart pounding. Had I betrayed my feelings? Could she see on my face

that I wanted more than anything to be more than friends with Daniel? Could she tell just how much I
wanted him, how my body reacted every time my eyes saw his? I certainly hoped not, but I also knew
she was going to keep an eye on me. She had noticed something, that was for sure.

“Did you get your permission?” Daniel asked that night at dinner.
I nodded and told him about the conversation with Doctor Emma.
“They’re watching us, then,” Daniel told me with a grin. “We’re the naughty kids on the

playground that the adults always keep an eye on.”

I laughed at his analogy. “I guess so. I wouldn’t know, really. I was always one of the good

girls, I never got in trouble.”

“I bet you didn’t,” Daniel teased, a glint in his eye. Oh, I wanted him so much. I wished I could

have him. I wished I could have him right then and there, making him mine. I wanted to feel his hands
all over my body. I wanted his tongue to taste me, his hands to explore me, his mouth to kiss me all
over. I wanted to throw my head back and forget about all my problems while Daniel ravaged me,
taking me completely, making me his.

“Either way, I think we should be careful.”
“Why? It’s not like we’re doing anything we shouldn’t.”
“I know. I just don’t want you to get kicked out of here.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me. After my surgery, I probably will only be here for a couple weeks,

then I’m going to have to go back to the outside to continue my training.”

When he said those words, my mouth went dry. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I

realized that my plan of being here forever meant I wasn’t going to see Daniel anymore after he left.
Sure, he could maybe visit me from time to time, but I knew he wouldn’t. He would be on a tight
schedule, travelling around the continent to play hockey. There wouldn’t be time to come visit
someone in a rehab center. The thought was like a shot to the heart. In a few weeks, Daniel Ross
would be out of my life, probably forever.

Maybe it was a good thing, I thought. After all, Daniel had upset the nice little balance I had

created in my life. I felt guilty about the happiness I felt being around him, if he was gone, well I
could go back to the way things were.

What bothered me the most was that I knew, deep down, that I didn’t want things to go back to

the way they were.

* * *

The next few days flew past, until finally Daniel was scheduled for surgery. We met for

breakfast just after six in the morning. Daniel had to be at the hospital by seven, and was allowed to
eat a light breakfast. We had some cereal in silence.

“Are you nervous?” I finally asked.
“A little bit. I mean, it should be a routine procedure, more or less, and my surgeon is the best

in the state, but there’s still a chance that something could go wrong. And if it does, I don’t know if
I’ll be able to take never playing hockey again.”

“Well, I wouldn’t worry too much. Tons of athletes have gone through ACL reconstructions.

You’ll be fine.”

“Thanks.”
I put my hand on Daniel’s. We were alone in here, after all. I felt a spark of electricity pass in

between us. He smiled as he finished off his meal and we went to wait for the taxi that was to take us

to the hospital.

When we got there, the receptionist greeted us and motioned for us to sit down in the waiting

area, that the doctor would be out shortly to see us. She told me I could leave and come back when
the surgery was finished, but I explained to her that I’d rather stay.

Ten minutes later Doctor Ryland called us into his office. He explained to us exactly what was

going to happen. I followed completely, and Doctor Ryland happily answered my questions.

“Will you be doing arthroscopic surgery, or open surgery?” I asked.
“Open. If it was just the ACL or the MCL I might have opted for arthroscopic, but this is going

to be require open surgery. Daniel will be under general anesthetic, of course.”

“Where is the donor graft coming from?”
“I’m doing a bone patellar tendon bone autograph. It will be the strongest graft, and allow for

the fastest recovery, allowing Daniel to get back to playing hockey as fast as possible.”

I couldn’t help but notice the small smile on Daniel’s face whenever I showed an interest in

what Doctor Ryland was saying or asked one of my many questions. I had to admit, being in a medical
setting again felt good. More than that, it felt right. I forced that thought from my head. There was no
way I was going to become a doctor now. That opportunity had passed me. I couldn’t do it.
Absolutely not. I couldn’t face it.

I was brought back to earth from my daydreaming when Doctor Ryland finally announced that

they were going to get ready to prep Daniel for surgery.

“Good luck. I’ll be here when you get out.”
“Hey, Kylie?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for being here.”
“No problem.”
I couldn’t help but notice that there was no one else here for Daniel. None of his family had

shown up. I wondered about them, whether he had told them, whether he had told anyone, but now
was obviously not the time to ask about that.

I squeezed his hand tight once more as the nurse brought over a wheelchair and took him down

the hallway to where he would be prepped for surgery.

Despite the fact that I knew the risks were minimal, I couldn’t help but feel a small lump of

nervousness form in my throat. What if something went wrong? What would happen then?

None of that’s going to happen. He’s going to be fine.
Sitting down at one of the chairs in the waiting area, I vaguely flipped through a magazine. It

was going to be a long few hours as I waited for Daniel’s surgery to finish. I tried not to think about
it. I tried to make myself think about other things, but no matter what, I could only think about Daniel.

I also thought about how much I was caring for him. This felt like way more than a friend

caring for another friend. This was more than that. Was I falling in love with Daniel? I couldn’t
possibly. I had decided I wasn’t going to fall in love. I was going to die alone. That was the plan.
Alone, depressed and guilt-ridden. Everything I deserved. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love. No, I
convinced myself that this wasn’t love. Daniel was a friend, and I cared for him like a friend. There
was no more to it than that.

Six hours later Daniel was out of surgery and awake. A nurse came out and invited me to go in

and see him. I followed her nervously to the bed where Daniel lay, his leg wrapped in some sort of
cast contraption to protect it.

“How are you doing?” I asked as I went towards him gingerly. He grinned.

“I’m not dead, and apparently my knee should work again, more or less, so all good.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I really am.”
Just then Doctor Ryland came into the room.
“Daniel, the surgery went exactly as planned. Now we simply need to wait and see if any

circumstances arise that require further healing. We never can know until you will get into
physiotherapy, but I’m not anticipating any major problems.”

“Thanks doc. I appreciate you saving my career like that.”
“Not a problem. It’s what I do. I love to rebuild what nature has broken.”
“Excuse me,” I said abruptly, leaving the room. The tears had just barely started before I got

into the hallway and let them flow. What the doctor had said in there, about rebuilding bodies, that
was exactly what I used to think. That was what I wanted to do. And I realized as he said it that I still
wanted to do it. I couldn’t. I absolutely couldn’t even think about it. I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
No one would accept me. Not after what I’d done, what had happened. I couldn’t do it. Tears flowed
down my face as I forced myself to accept that fact. I couldn’t do it anymore. No matter how much I
had enjoyed being in this medical setting, asking questions about the surgery, learning more about the
human body, I knew I couldn’t go back to this, and today I realized just how badly I wanted to.

That was the worst part, the fact that now, I could tell that I wanted to do it again. Before, it

didn’t matter. I didn’t care about medicine anymore. It would always interest me, but I didn’t want to
become a doctor. I didn’t want to, I didn’t deserve to. But now, being here in the hospital, asking
Doctor Ryland questions, seeing his professional manner, seeing how he had healed Daniel, I had to
accept the fact that I wanted to do it too.

Why did I come today? This is ruining everything. I cried to myself for a few moments,

hoping no one would come into the hallway and see me, before I finally got a hold of myself and went
back into the room. To my relief, neither Doctor Ryland nor Daniel made any note of my quick
absence, and I didn’t explain.

When he left at last, I looked at Daniel.
“I’m glad you’re alright. Are you going to be able to go back to the clinic tonight?”
“Yeah. I mean, they offered to let me stay overnight, but I probably shouldn’t be in a hospital

with all these drugs around. I’m hiding it, but I’m actually feeling a good chunk of pain, and it’s
getting worse as the anesthetic is wearing off, and I’m not allowed taking anything with an addictive
substance in it, which is code for ‘it’s going to fucking hurt because all the good painkillers are
addictive’.”

I laughed. “Sorry about that. But so you’re coming back today?”
“Yeah, they’re going to discharge me in an hour or so. I’ll be on crutches and a giant brace to

stop me from moving my leg more than necessary, and more or less bedridden for a few days, but I’ll
definitely be at the clinic.”

“Cool. I’ll come back with you then, I wasn’t sure if they were keeping you overnight.”
“Thanks. I love that you’re here with me,” Daniel told me.
We went back to the clinic and I realized for the first time that it was night time. We’d spent the

whole day there, and I was exhausted.

“I’ll make sure the kitchen send you over some food,” I told Daniel when we got back. After

all, neither of us had eaten since breakfast.

“Thanks, I’m starving,” he replied, sending me a grateful glance.
“I’ll see you when I see you, I guess. Rest up,” I told him.
“Sure, thanks again Kylie.”

“No problem.”
I went to the kitchen and organized for food to be taken to Daniel, then had some dinner myself.

It was so late now that I sat alone in the large-ish cafeteria, the only sound apart from my chewing
being that of my fork hitting my plate.

I was ravenous with hunger, but I moved on autopilot, the fork making its way to my mouth

automatically. I wasn’t thinking about the food I was putting into my body. I was thinking about what I
had felt at the hospital.

It bothered me that I missed medicine. It bothered me that I knew what I felt: I wanted to go

back to it. I didn’t know what to do. For the first time since I arrived here, I knew I needed advice. I
needed help. I needed to talk to someone about it, an outsider.

Glancing at the clock, I realized it was late, but I knew it wasn’t too late. I picked up my plate,

put it on the tray to have cleaned, and made my way towards Doctor Emma’s office.

“Come in!” came the same familiar announcement from inside the room. I hesitated for a minute

before opening the door. Was this the right thing to do? Was it the right idea?

A minute later I made up my mind. I grabbed the handle and turned it, entering the room.
If Doctor Emma was surprised to see me, she didn’t show it.
“Hello, Kylie. How did Daniel’s surgery go?”
“Good. I don’t know if he’s got any mobility issues yet, but the Doctor said it all went

according to plan, so hopefully with some physio he’ll be as close to pre-surgery as it’s possible to
be.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Please, sit down. What can I do for you?”
I sat down on the chair and looked at my hands. I wasn’t really sure how to start this. Doctor

Emma waited patiently while I gathered my thoughts.

“I think I need... I think I need some advice,” I finally told her.
“Of course. What kind of advice can I give you?”
“Well, I don’t know. See, I don’t know what to do.”
I paused for a while.
“When I came here, I accepted the fact that I wouldn’t be a doctor. But when I was at the

hospital today, I think I realized that I still do want to become a doctor, and now I don’t know what to
do.”

“Well, Kylie, I think you should follow your heart. If you want to become a doctor, why not go

back to medical school? You know the school has simply got you on hold, you could return as early
as the next semester. Are you worried about your alcoholism?”

I shook my head.
“No. No, I’m sorry Doctor Emma, I shouldn’t have come.”
“Kylie, wait!” Doctor Emma exclaimed, but I was already leaving. I don’t know why I left. I

think I was so used to talking to Daniel, who understood completely, that Doctor Emma getting it so
wrong, blaming my alcoholism, it rubbed me the wrong way completely.

I went straight back to my room. I wanted to talk to Daniel about this. I knew what he would

say. He would tell me I should do it as well. He would tell me that I’ve got the gift of healing, that it’s
obvious it was what I was put on this planet to do, and I would argue with him. But now, as I ran
through the conversation in my head, the arguments I was putting forth sounded weak, even to me.

I tossed and turned, getting terrible sleep from time to time, before waking up completely

exhausted the next day. What on Earth was going on with me?

* * *

It took another four days before I saw Daniel again. He came to group therapy on crutches, and

I smiled as he sat down next to me. I missed him over the last few days. I didn’t realize just how much
I’d missed him. A lot of the time I would find myself wondering how his knee was healing, what he
was doing, whether I should try and sneak past the guards and visit him.

“Hey, how’s it going?” I asked when he collapsed into the chair, leaning the crutches up

against the side of it.

“It’s alright. The pain is getting better, which is nice. Ibuprofen doesn’t do too much to stop the

pain. But hey, it’s all worth it. I can deal with the pain, I’ve been through worse.”

“No, I can’t imagine ibuprofen would help that much. I’m glad it’s getting better though. Any

update on rehab times?”

Before Daniel could answer, Doctor Emma interrupted and started the session. For the next

hour I zoned out, thinking about nothing except the man next to me. I could hear him breathing, I could
feel his every movement, his arm occasionally brushing lightly against mine. I felt like I was going to
faint every time he touched me. My heart beat raced, I felt the slightest sheen of sweat forming on my
skin, my breathing got ragged. I wanted Daniel more than I’d ever wanted any man before in my life.

Finally, Doctor Emma let us go. Daniel and I waited for the others to leave, as his crutches

made him quite a bit slower than everyone else. We walked through the hallway together.

“My physio is going to be here in a while, do you want to hang out for a bit before then?”
“Sure.”
As we made our way back out towards the courtyard, Daniel told me about his last few days.
“Mainly I’ve either just been in bed all day, or had a bit of rehab done. Not too much more than

that. The rehab is tough, but nothing I’m not used to. Honestly, it’s a relief, knowing that if I follow
what the doc says I can probably be back on the ice in a few months. Now that I’ve had the surgery
I’m looking forward to it more than ever.”

“That’s good, I’m glad. I’m glad you’re taking steps to get back to where you want to be. I’m

sure you’re going to be fantastic when you get back out there.”

“I hope so. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with my knee now, everything’s going as

planned. There’s always a chance that when I get the brace off I’ll notice a problem, but at this point
the physio says that most major problems post-surgery would have been noticed by now.”

“Awesome.”
We got to the courtyard and sat down under the trees.
“It’s funny, when I came here, I never thought I was going to play hockey again. I’d convinced

myself I wasn’t going to. I’d convinced myself it wasn’t for me. And yet you changed my mind. You
changed my mind completely, Kylie.”

“Well, sometimes other people can see things more easily than you yourself can.”
“That’s true. Hey, I wanted to tell you as well, I spoke to some of the team doctors and my

coach today. I’m going to stay here for another week, and then I’m leaving.”

“What? You’re leaving? Already?” The news was like a shot to the heart to me.
“Yeah. I need to get back into training with the team as fast as I can. I spoke to Doctor Emma

about it, she thinks I’m ready and I’ll be fine, especially with the support network I have.”

“But... what about me?” I asked. I shouldn’t have, I know. I knew this day was going to come,

but I didn’t want it to.

“Well, you’re not going to be here for much longer, are you?”
“I... I sort of... I never planned on leaving.”
Daniel looked at me.

“What do you mean, you never planned on leaving?”
“I was going to stay here forever.”
“That’s just... not healthy. It’s not possible, Kylie. You’re going to have to go face the real

world sometime,” he added, softly.

I felt the tears coming. There was no way to stop them. Emotions flooded my body. Sadness,

anger, it was all there. The knowledge that Daniel was leaving, that I was never going to see him
again, it was absolutely destroying me, and I didn’t know why. It was like every emotion I had felt
over the last few weeks came bursting on top of me. Like the dam that had been holding it all back
suddenly burst, and a torrent of pain flooded over me, drowning me.

“You don’t understand. I ruined my life. I can’t do anything. I want to become a doctor, you

know? I realized that the other day, when we were at the hospital. I still want to become a doctor.”

“Well why don’t you?”
“BECAUSE I KILLED MY SISTER!” I shrieked. There. I’d said it. I actually said it. I hadn’t

said those words aloud, ever. I had always kept it to myself. It was my own private burden to bear. It
had all become too much. The last few days, realizing that I still wanted to become a doctor, knowing
that if I stayed here forever I would lose Daniel, the enormous mix of emotions melding inside of me
was driving me crazy, and it led to me telling Daniel exactly why I was the way I was.

When I heard those words escape my mouth, when I finally said them, I began to sob. The tears

flowed even harder. Daniel quickly shuffled over as fast as he could with the brace and wrapped his
arms around me.

I flung my face into his chest. I could feel my tears soaking his shirt, my body trembling against

him as the tears came. Over and over. Daniel stroked my hair gently, his chin resting on the top of my
head, softly holding me while I let the tears flow.

I couldn’t believe I’d said that. I couldn’t believe I’d admitted it. Strangely enough, however, it

gave me a sense of relief. I think I was glad to finally have someone to talk to about it. When the tears
stopped, I sat up. I stared at the ground as I recounted my story.

“It was last June. Exams were over. My little sister had just graduated from high school. She

wanted to go to a party, and I told her that no matter what, I wanted her to call me instead of getting a
ride with someone drunk. I implored her. I was in medical school. I knew all the stats. I had seen the
images, I had even seen the bodies. I didn’t want my sister to become one of them.”

I paused for a minute. Memories rushed through my head. My sister, waving to me as I dropped

her off, her long hair bouncing along as she spun around and ran down to meet her friends. Tears
began to well in my eyes once more.

“She called me at three in the morning. I was still up. I’d been studying. Being a doctor was the

most important thing to me, and I wanted to be the most amazing doctor in the world. I was going to
heal people, to save them. I took her call, she asked me to come pick her up. I could tell her words
were slurred, and I was so proud of her to have still called me. She was obviously quite drunk, but I
didn’t care.”

More memories came back. Suzette stumbling towards me at the park where they had their

party. Her hair was dishevelled now, she had lost a shoe. But she was still smiling, still gorgeous.
She was my sister.

“We got into the car. Suzette thanked me for picking her up, and asked if she could have the

window down. I figured that was a good idea if I didn’t want to have to clean vomit out of my car in
the morning. My last memory of her alive was from a couple minutes before it happened. I turned to
make sure she was ok, and she was half asleep, leaning against the open window, letting the cool

night air into her lungs. I remember thinking how peaceful she looked, how beautiful.”

The next memory was the most painful. I had almost blocked it out, I didn’t want to remember

it.

“It must have been two, maybe three minutes after that last memory of looking at her when it

happened. The car came out of nowhere. We were on one of those country roads. One lane in each
direction, no median strip. The other car was driving in my lane, without its headlights on. By the
time my lights found it, it was too late. I screamed and swerved, but the car hit us head on.”

I paused. Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t believe I was saying this. I hadn’t told this

story to anyone, although others knew it. Daniel simply held my hand and waited for me to continue.

“The next thing I knew, I was in an ambulance. I was crying. My leg hurt like hell. All I could

think about was Suzette. I kept asking where Suzette was. I saw my parents, they were crying too.
They saw me, and they came over and hugged me. I clutched my mom, asking about Suzette, and she
only began to cry harder. That was when I knew. They didn’t have to say anything more. I knew. I had
killed my sister. I was driving the car that she died in.”

“I’m so sorry, Kylie,” Daniel whispered.
“It turned out the driver of the other car was drunk. He had come from the same party, he was

one of Suzette’s classmates. He was trying to get home, driving himself. We’ll never know why he
was going the wrong way, back towards the park they’d all just come from, since he died on impact. I
blamed myself for all of it. If only I hadn’t offered to drive her home, she might have gotten a ride
with someone else, or slept in the park. Even if she’d gotten into the car with someone else who was
drunk, everyone else got home safely that night. Everyone else. Everyone except Suzette. I had made
her call me, I had made her get me to drive her home to keep her safe, and I failed. I failed her
completely.”

I choked back a few sobs before continuing.
“That was when I knew I couldn’t be a doctor anymore. No one was going to take the person

who killed their sister seriously. They just weren’t. Besides, I didn’t want to do it anymore. I had
thought my entire life that I was put on this planet to cure people, to help them. And the first time I
really did it, the first time I did something that I thought might save my sister’s life, I ended up killing
her.”

As I finished my story, I just began to sob. There was nothing more I could do. I was

absolutely, completely gutted. I had poured my heart out. I had never told anyone about that night.
Never. My parents knew, of course, what had happened, but I had never spoken about it with them.

Basically as soon as it happened I had turned to alcohol. I had never been a big drinker before

then, but the alcohol made me forget. I became more and more dependent on it.

“I’m so sorry Kylie. I can’t even imagine how you must feel. I know it means nothing, but it

wasn’t your fault.”

“Everyone always tells me that, but it feels like it was my fault.”
“Of course it does. That’s natural. You were the one driving the car. I know you’ve gone over

things a million times in your head, wondering ‘what if I had done this differently?’ and asking
yourself if you should have seen the car sooner. But the thing is, you couldn’t have. It’s not even
nearly on the same scale, but I went through something similar when my knee got injured. I asked
myself what if I had moved to the side a bit? What if I had balanced myself better? But no, what
happened happened. That didn’t make it my fault.”

The tears flowing from my eyes began to ebb as Daniel kept talking. I liked the sound of his

voice. It was comforting, it was nice.

“I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel. But think about your sister. Do you think she

would want you to stay here forever, or do you think she would want you to go back to school and
finish your studies, and heal other people’s sisters?”

“It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t think anything, she’s dead, because of me.”
“But what if she did? I think you’re punishing yourself by staying here. You think you deserve

to be an outcast, you think you deserve to deprive yourself of the things you want and enjoy, because
of what you did. And that’s not fair to you.”

I looked up at Daniel. No one else had ever truly understood why I stayed here, why I intended

to stay here forever. Doctor Emma certainly didn’t. My parents didn’t. But Daniel did.

“I’m not wrong, am I?” he asked softly, and I shook my head.
“No, you’re not wrong,” I replied. “You’re completely correct. I took Suzette’s life, I don’t

deserve to live one of my own. I thought about suicide a lot those first few months, but I eventually
decided I didn’t deserve the easy way out, either.”

“You do deserve to live your life. That drunk driver took one innocent life, don’t let him take

two.”

For a while, we sat there in silence. Thoughts swarmed my head, it was so much I was starting

to feel overwhelmed. I had never told anyone that story. It was funny, saying those words out loud
was a relief. I know it’s a cliché, but it actually felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I
knew Daniel would understand, and he did.

That’s what made it so hard to argue against his points. He understood. Other people told me to

do things, but they didn’t get my motivations. Daniel did, and yet he still was telling me that I was
doing the wrong thing. Was I? I began to really question myself. Was I completely wrong all this
time? Was I looking at things the wrong way? Should I be doing what I was doing, living my life in
the worst possible way? Was that really still the right thing to do?

I still couldn’t get past the fact that no one would want a doctor that had killed their sister.
“What happens when someone finds out about me and Suzette? What happens when one of my

patients Googles me and finds out about it?”

“Then you tell them that even though disaster befell you earlier in your life, you’re now

dedicating your life to making sure no one else goes through what you did. Which would be true, by
the way.”

“Yeah. I don’t know.” He was right. I couldn’t argue against that. He was right, and I hated that

he was.

“Well, you don’t need to make a decision now. You can always think about it. But Kylie, I

really think you should think about changing your life. I think you would be happy as a doctor. I’ve
seen you with patients. Hell, I’ve been one of them. You have a caring spirit, and it shouldn’t go to
waste, especially not since you want to do it.”

“I’ll think about it. You’re right. I’m going to think about it. When are you leaving?”
“A week Sunday. So, nine days from now.”
“You know, I’m glad. I’m happy you’re getting out of here. I want to see you win the Stanley

Cup next year. I’ll watch it on TV.”

“I’ll send you tickets, you can come watch it in person.”
I looked up at Daniel and kind of half smiled at him. It was all I could manage right now.
I flopped down on the ground and stared up into the leaves of the tree we were under, thinking

about things.

“Do you want me to go, leave you with your thoughts?”

“No, I’d like you to stay, if you don’t mind. I like your presence.”
“Cool, let me know if you want to talk about anything.”
But I didn’t. I just needed to think. I don’t know how long I sat there for, lying down in the cool

summer grass, letting the breeze move over my face, Daniel only a few feet away. Eventually we got
up as the sun began to edge its way towards the horizon and went back into the building.

“What about your physio appointment?”
“Whatever, one day of exercises isn’t going to make or break me. It was more important to be

that I be with you this afternoon.”

My heart swelled with appreciation as I realized what Daniel had done. He’d skipped his

physiotherapy to be with me. I felt so... cared for, knowing that he did that for me.

I skipped dinner, instead going to my room and having a long shower. I had a lot to think about,

and I always thought showers were great for thinking. I let the water stream over me until at last the
water went cold.

When I went to bed that night, I had made my decision.

* * *

The first thing I did the next day was visit Doctor Emma and ask her whether she thought I was

in a good enough condition to be released.

“You’re asking me a difficult question, Kylie. After all, you’re not the most forthcoming of

patients. I really know so little about you, I’m not certain that I’m able to answer that.”

“I’m a very private person.”
“I understand that. I know that you are dealing with things much deeper than most who are here,

and while I believe your alcoholism is most likely manageable in the outside world, I also know that
it was triggered by those memories the first time. If I were to tell you that you’re alright to be
released, I want to know that you have someone to talk to. You need to have a support group,
otherwise the chances of a relapse are much higher.”

“I have someone to talk to,” I told her. “I do have someone who understands.”
Doctor Emma looked at me hard, then nodded.
“Alright. I think that as long as you have that support network, you should be fine. Remember,

you can always come back here. I would also encourage you to attend AA meetings.”

I nodded and thanked her as she handed me an information booklet, complete with a variety of

suggested support networks.

“I suppose you’ll want to be released next Sunday?” she asked, and the look on my face almost

certainly gave me away. I supposed it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise to me. Doctor
Emma was no idiot, and she had hinted that she knew about Daniel and I before.

“That would be good, thanks,” I replied so quietly it came out almost as a whisper.
“Consider it done. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to connect with you as well as perhaps another

therapist may have.”

I shook my head. “It’s not your fault, Doctor Emma. I’m just... not very trusting.”
“Well, I’m glad you’ve found someone to trust.”
“Me too.”
I left her office feeling conflicted. A part of me was elated. I was actually going to leave! I was

going home! Another part of me still felt guilty about what I was doing. How dare I live the life that
Suzette wasn’t going to?

When I saw Daniel later that night, he was elated for me.
“I’m glad you’re doing this, Kylie. I think it’ll be good for you.”

“Yeah, maybe. I dunno. I’m a bit worried about it, to be honest. I really don’t know how I’m

going to adjust to life outside of here now. I never really thought about it until, well, yesterday.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You’ve done it before. Where are you going to stay?”
“With my parents, I guess. They’ll be happy I’m ‘cured’. I’m their only child now, the only one

they have left. They’ll be happy that I’m back.”

“Do you want to stay with them?”
I shrugged.
“I don’t know. It wouldn’t be too bad, I guess. I’m just worried about moving back into my old

circles too quickly. I’d like to find a place where I could just slowly ease back into my old life.”

“Why don’t you come stay with me? My place has four bedrooms. I’m literally using one of

them as a storage and trophy room right now, I have that little need for the space. You’d have a ton of
privacy, your own bedroom, of course. You’re welcome to stay with me for as long as you’d like.”

“What if I don’t want my own bedroom?” I couldn’t help but ask, biting my bottom lip.
“Well, I’m sure we can deal with that,” Daniel replied, grinning. “And on that note, seeing as

we’re finally going to be away from the rules of this place, I’d like to take you out on Sunday night, if
you’re up for it.”

“Absolutely! I’d like that.”
“Cool. I’m... I’m glad you’ve decided to do this, Kylie. I really am. I didn’t want to have to

leave here without you.”

“I have you to thank. If it wasn’t for you showing up, I never would have made this decision.”
“Consider it mutual. I wouldn’t be trying to get back into hockey if it wasn’t for you. I guess

we’re good for each other.”

“I guess so.

* * *

The next week absolutely flew by. It was funny, the closer we got to that Sunday, the more I

was looking forward to it. I would have never expected myself to actually want something like this
even last week. This was such a strange feeling. Hope, optimism, neither one of those were emotions
I’d felt in a long time.

There was also some nervousness. What if I immediately couldn’t cope, what if I went straight

back to alcohol? What if no one I knew before wanted to associate with me anymore? What if I
couldn’t hack it when I went back to medical school? What if my life was an abject failure, and I
would have been better off not trying?

I eventually forced the negative thoughts from my head. They weren’t helping. They weren’t

helping at all.

Daniel, on the other hand, was amazing. He was always willing to talk, he made sure I was

actually comfortable coming to live with him, and he seemed to genuinely care about how I was going
to deal with being back in society.

Finally, Sunday arrived. I said my goodbyes to Fiona at breakfast.
“I’m going to be following you on Tuesday, you know.”
“I didn’t! Congratulations!”
“Thanks. I’m looking forward to it. How about you, I guess now you can finally bang your hot

hockey player. If I can make a suggestion, get pregnant as quickly as possible so he’s stuck with you.”

I laughed. “Thanks for the motherly advice, Fiona.”
“Hey, I’m not your mother, I have two of my own.”
“And I’m sure they’re wonderful, well-adjusted boys.”

“They absolutely are. They know not to get any girls that they don’t want to be stuck with

pregnant.”

I was going to miss Fiona. She had a good sense of humour.
“Thanks for being my friend in here.”
“No problem. Look me up if you ever want to get a coffee or anything.”
“I will, thanks.”
When the time finally came, I said goodbye to everyone else, was wished well, and went out

with my suitcase and Daniel to the front of the building, where a cab was waiting.

We climbed in, Daniel putting my bag in the trunk. It felt strange, being free all of a sudden. I

mean, it’s not like I was in jail or anything before. But that building was the only thing I knew now. I
never had the desire to leave before. I thought I was going to be there for years to come. And yet, now
as we sped down the highway towards Daniel’s place, I knew it was in the past, that I would never
go back there again.

“I was thinking for our date tonight we should do something simple. How about just dinner?”

Daniel asked.

“Dinner sounds fantastic. I’m actually kind of looking forward to having some different food.

The cooks at the center aren’t bad, but it’s like they have a list of ten things they like to cook and
never deviate from it.”

“I know a place that does amazing pizza, I bet it’s been a while since you’ve had a slice.”
“Oh God, it has. I don’t know when the last time I had pizza was. That sounds great.” My

mouth actually started salivating at just the thought of a nice, hot slice of pizza.

“Awesome, we’ll head to my place and freshen up, then we’ll officially go out.”
When we arrived at Daniel’s house, my mouth dropped open. There was a gate at the front that

Daniel had to punch a code into, leading into one of the most amazing modern homes I could possibly
have imagined. It wasn’t the biggest house I’d ever seen, but it was close.

“Holy shit, you live here?”
“Yeah,” he grinned. “I couldn’t resist buying it when I signed my last contract. Bought it with

my bonus.”

“If you ever get traded, can I have it?”
Daniel laughed. “I’d hope you would come with me! Anyway, let’s go inside.”
He carried my bags into a foyer that made my mouth drop open. The hardwood floor glistened,

a crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling as a huge staircase led to the upper level of the home. This
place exuded class. It wasn’t at all the frat-boy type place I imagined rich young hockey players
preferred. This was nice.

“Let me show you to your room,” Daniel told me, carrying my bags upstairs. He led me to a

bedroom down the hall to the left. The Queen sized bed seemed to take up only a quarter of the room.
There was so much floor space, a rug in front of the bed, a chest of drawers along the side wall and a
bathroom on the other side.

I went into the ensuite and gasped. I stood on the marble floor, looking at a Jacuzzi tub and a

rain shower. Even the toilet looked expensive! There was a double sink with plenty of counter space
for all of my things.

“Is this really where I’m staying?” I asked.
“Yeah. This is my guest suite. It’s pretty nice, huh?”
“Pretty nice is an understatement. Holy crap!”
“Well, I’m glad you like it. It’s the best rent-free room in the city, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah no kidding. It’s amazing!”
“Well, I’m going to let you and the room get acquainted, why don’t we meet in the foyer in an

hour or so and we’ll grab some food?”

“Sure. Hey, thanks again for letting me stay here. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem. It’s the least I can do.”
Ten minutes later I was in the shower, letting the water clean my body and the steam clear my

head. This still felt a little bit unreal, but it was nice. My new room was amazing. I figured I’d
probably call my parents the next day and let them know I had left the center, but tonight all I wanted
was to have that real date with Daniel.

I spent way too long trying to figure out what to wear. I was really glad we weren’t going out

to a fancy dinner, since I definitely didn’t have anything suitable to wear to that. Eventually I settled
on a pair of skinny jeans with a pair of kitten heels and a long, black tank top. I looked at myself in the
mirror. Did I look presentable? I guess so. It had been so long since I’d been on a date, I had
practically forgotten what to do.

When I came down the stairs and met an already-waiting Daniel in the lobby, I knew from the

grin that formed on his face that I’d made the right choice.

“You look amazing,” he told me as I came down.
“Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself,” I replied, looking him up and down. He had given

up his usual athletic wear for a pair of black slacks and a light blue button up shirt. He looked good.

Daniel led me out the front of the house where his car was already waiting. My mouth dropped

at the sight of it. I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised. After all, Daniel was a young millionaire
athlete, sports cars were pretty much designed for that demographic. But the black Mercedes
convertible I was looking at still blew my mind. I got into the plush leather passenger seat and
watched as Daniel grimaced lightly getting into his seat.

“Are you ok to drive with your knee? I can always do it.”
“Oh no, I’m good thanks. It hurts a bit when I sit down, but the pain passes quickly and then I’m

fine.”

“Cool.”
Just then, the engine roared to life as Daniel pressed the button to turn it on. I grabbed the side

of the seat as Daniel pressed the gas and we zoomed out of his place. It wasn’t that he was speeding
or anything; he wasn’t. It was just that I could tell the engine was so immensely powerful, it felt like
Daniel was holding back a cheetah that had just spotted a herd of zebras on the other side of the plain.

My old car had always puttered along at 30, going up hills always seemed like a challenge to

it. When this car reached a hill it seemed like it was being set free, like it could accelerate for
eternity. I had never thought of driving as potentially being fun, and I knew I now never would, but I
could see why others might see the appeal of it as we drove in this car.

Eyes turned to watch as Daniel parked the car along a street downtown. We got out and Daniel

led me a half block down to what he called his favourite pizza place.

It was kind of a diner style, with big booths and a counter up the front. We sat down at one of

the booths and a waitress came by with menus.

I glanced through the menu, getting to choose what I wanted to eat for the first time in what felt

like ages.

“I didn’t realize how much I missed choice,” I said, laughing as I realized absolutely

everything looked delicious.

“I know. I basically want to order one of everything. Should we get a large pizza, go half and

half?”

“Yeah, I like that. I was thinking of getting the Hawaiian.”
“Cool. I like the Mexican Taco pizza, how’s that sound for the other half.”
“Good! I’ve never actually tasted any pizza with those ‘gourmet’ type flavours, I usually stick

with the classics: pepperoni, ham and pineapple, meat lovers. But Mexican Taco sounds good, it
sounds interesting.”

“It is, you’ll like it. You have to live a little. Eat pizza outside your comfort zone!”
“That I can try, happily.”
The waitress came back and took our orders, bringing us some pop to drink, and Daniel and I

leaned back and chatted lightly.

“So what was life like, growing up in Canada?”
“Really, it was a lot like here in a lot of ways, but different as well. I grew up in a suburb of

Toronto, which being on the east coast, the weather was the real difference. I actually played hockey
outside in the winter long before I played on an organized team. My mom has pictures of me as a three
year old in the rink in our backyard that my dad would set up every year. When I moved here, the fact
that the temperature almost never drops into the negatives was the major change.”

“That must be nice, I can’t imagine living somewhere with colder winters than here.”
“Well, you get used to it pretty quickly. It’s nice not having to bundle up in about twenty layers

before you leave the house, that’s for sure. How about you, did you grow up here?”

I nodded.
“Yeah, I’m Seattle born and bred. Lived here my whole life. I thought when I applied to a

whole bunch of medical schools out of state that I might have to leave, since I never really expected
to get approved here, but when I did, I was pretty glad. I know I would otherwise have had to suck it
up and learn to live somewhere new, but I do really love it here. I was glad I didn’t have to leave.”

“I can understand that. Moving is tough, especially when you do it for the first time. You don’t

know anyone, you don’t know where anything is, the first few months can be hard. But still, you get
used to it quickly. You find new places, like here.”

Almost right on cue the waitress came by with our pizzas. The next few minutes were spent

digging into what I had quickly decided was my new favourite pizza joint.

I tried a slice of the Mexican Taco and secretly swore at myself for never daring to try “non-

traditional” flavours of pizza before. The succulent beef, red onion and jalapenos were a perfect
combo, and dipping the slice into some sour cream just made it perfect.

“Damn, I missed eating here, and I was only gone for like, a month,” Daniel said before

practically devouring another slice of pizza.

“It’s definitely good. I can’t believe I didn’t know this place existed. You’ve lived here for

what, a quarter of the amount of time that I have, and yet I’ve never tried this pizza.”

“Yeah, well, Seattle’s a big city. I’m sure you know tons of places here that I don’t know. In

fact, maybe for our next date you choose where we go.”

“Our next date, huh? That seems a bit presumptuous of you,” I teased.
“I just figured there’s no way you’d be able to say no to my enormous charm,”
“Yes, I love a man with a string of cheese on his chin,” I replied, and Daniel scrambled to

wipe it off with a napkin.

“Liar, there was no cheese there.”
“No, there wasn’t, but I made Mr. Cool, Calm and Charming panic for a minute.”
“So, are you accepting my invite for a second date, or not?”

“I don’t think I can resist. Deal. I know a cafe that do a great brunch, we’ll go on Sunday.”
Daniel grinned at me. “I knew I was too sexy for you to resist,” and I threw a napkin at him.
As much as I knew Daniel was joking, I couldn’t help but be all too aware of the fact that my

body did think he was ridiculously sexy. I could feel my body shudder uncontrollably when he looked
at me, my sex clenching, my panties moistening.

Tingles ran down my spine every time Daniel flirted with me. I had never wanted him so much

in my life, and here we were. We could do whatever we wanted. Daniel knew it as well. I wondered
if we were going to do anything. It had been so long since I’d had a boyfriend, and I had never really
done the one night stand thing, I didn’t really know how these things were supposed to go.

Eventually we finished eating. We sat together in the booth for a while, talking. I liked Daniel.

I liked hearing about his life.

“So you’re going to go back to medical school in September?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I think I will. I think I’ll be fine by then. There’s still over a month to go before

classes start, so that should give me some time to readjust I think. I want to call my parents tomorrow,
and maybe one of my old friends, as well.”

“That’s a good idea, I think. It’s nice to be around people you know. Next week I’m going to

start training at the same time as the other guys again, and even though I’m obviously not going to do
the same stuff as them, it’ll be good to see them again.”

“Are you finding it weird, being back out here, in the real world?”
“A little bit, yeah. I imagine it’s worse for you though. I sort of looked at it as an extended

vacation. I’m just really glad my knee doesn’t hurt anymore. I know I have to stay away from any sort
of strong painkillers. It’s funny, I grew up thinking I was invincible. I had never suffered a bad injury
before. I didn’t think I’d get addicted the first time I had to take something stronger than Tylenol.”

“We do tend to think we’re invincible, don’t we? It took me ages to accept that I was an

alcoholic. I just tried to rationalize it to myself. Until my parents basically held an intervention, I was
convinced I didn’t have a problem. I was convinced they didn’t understand me. And they didn’t,
really, although they were right about the disease.”

“It’s going to be way harder for you to avoid alcohol than it will be for me to avoid pills. I’ll

make sure there’s never a drop of it in the house.”

“Thanks, if you want a beer or anything though, I don’t want to deprive you. There’s so much

space in that place you probably have more than one fridge.”

“No, it’s fine. There won’t be a drop of alcohol in the house, I promise you that. Hey, did you

want to go for a walk? It’s a nice evening out.”

“I’d like that.”
In reality, I would have preferred going back home and letting Daniel ravage me until the sun

went down and came back up again, but a walk did sound like a good idea. This felt like a real date,
something I hadn’t done in a long time.

After a few minutes Daniel slipped my hand inside of his, and I felt that same familiar spark

passing in between us. Tingling radiated through my body from where Daniel’s hand touched mine.
We walked mostly in silence. It felt nice, enjoying the nice evening, hand in hand with this guy that I
was getting closer and closer to.

Finally, we made our way back to the car.
“So is this the part where I ask if you want to come back to my place?” Daniel joked.
“And if I say yes?” I asked, flirting back.
“Then I’m going to break all kinds of laws to get back there as quickly as possible,” he replied.

He stepped on the gas, although he didn’t go any faster than the speed limit. I think he automatically
realized that there was no way I was going to be comfortable in a speeding car, and he was right. That
wasn’t something I was going to be able to handle.

We had barely gotten back into the house before Daniel and I were all over each other. It was

funny, I thought it was going to be really awkward, that I wouldn’t know how to do anything, and yet
when the car pulled into the garage and Daniel and I went into the house, he turned me around to face
him, leaned down, and kissed me.

His lips grazed me at first, the touch fleeting, as though teasing me, testing me. Then a second

later he brought them back to mine, bringing me a pleasure I could never have imagined.

I pressed my body against his. This was what I wanted, what I’d needed for so long. I could

feel my breasts against Daniel’s chest, my nipples already hard and straining against the fabric of my
shirt.

I kissed him back, pressing my lips against his. His lips on mine were strong, confident, like he

knew exactly what he was doing, like he was going to do exactly what he wanted to with me.

Daniel was so strong, so powerful, he pressed me against the wall, pinning my hands against it

as he dove in for more. I thought I was going to faint. He was so manly, so muscular, I don’t think I’d
ever been so turned on in my life.

When Daniel slipped his tongue inside my mouth, I let out a moan of pleasure. My hands still

pinned to the wall, I felt like there was nothing I could do except enjoy this, enjoy the pleasure I was
feeling. His tongue darted in and out of my mouth, every little movement sending sensations of
pleasure coursing through me.

As he eventually moved his mouth from my mouth to my earlobes, I could only moan “Oh

Daniel...” and press my head back against the wall. He nibbled my earlobe before moving down to
my neck, his hands moving from my wrists and tugging at my shirt.

“I need you so much, Kylie,” he whispered to me as his fingers found the hem of my shirt. He

moved his left leg in between my thighs, pressing his body against mine as he practically tore my shirt
off. I could feel his hardness, his shaft growing as it pressed against my hip, and my breath caught in
my throat.

“I need you too. Fuck, I want you to take me, right here,” I exclaimed. Daniel tugged at my bra

for a minute, but the clasp on this one had always been difficult. Suddenly, with a single movement,
Daniel grabbed the two cups and ripped them apart, tossing the bra aside like it was nothing. I gasped
at the pure, raw power Daniel possessed. God, he was so sexy.

I couldn’t help myself. I needed to hold him. I grabbed his biceps, the muscles bulging from his

arms, my nails digging into his arms as he gazed at my bare breasts. I was completely topless, my
chest heaving, my nipples hard as diamonds, so hard they hurt.

Daniel moved his mouth onto my left nipple, and a mewl of pleasure escaped my lips. His hot

mouth on my sensitive skin felt so good, it was incredible.

“Oh, Daniel! Oh, don’t stop!” I begged, closing my eyes as his tongue tweaked and teased my

nipple, every little flick sending new ripples of bliss radiating through me from my chest.

I needed him more than ever. I was soaking wet now, I could tell. My sex was like a furnace,

burning to have him inside of me. I had never needed anything as much as I needed Daniel right now.
Never in my life.

His hands roamed my body, discovering my curves. His fingers felt like velvet, every touch

driving me wild. I wanted his hands all over me. I wanted him to explore every inch of my body with
his own. Almost without realizing I was doing it, I reached down and undid the buttons on Daniel’s

shirt. When they were unbuttoned, he slipped out of it easily before moving his mouth onto my other
nipple, giving it the same treatment he had done to the first. His chest was incredible. Just the perfect
tiny amount of hair covered his tight body. His pecs bulged as he continued to suckle me, I just
couldn’t get enough of looking at that perfect body.

I was so weak, my legs felt like jelly. I thought I was going to faint, this felt so good. I had

never experienced anything like this before, ever. I didn’t even know it was possible to feel like this.
None of my previous boyfriends had made me feel so raw, so animalistic in my desires, or made me
feel this kind of heightened passion that was driving me insane.

“Daniel... Daniel...” All I could do was moan his name over and over as I clutched at him. I

grabbed his hair, pulling him closer to me, my tummy completely turning over and over. I didn’t even
know what I was feeling any more. My blood felt like it was on fire, sending heat rushing through
every fiber of my body.

Just when I thought I couldn’t get any more turned on, Daniel moved his hands to the hem of my

jeans. I let out a gasp as I felt a tug in my nether regions stronger than any other before. I could feel the
walls of my sex beginning to pulsate, desperate to have him inside of me.

I silently cursed my decision to wear skinny jeans, but Daniel pulled them off me so swiftly, it

was like they were nothing. He was so strong, I almost couldn’t stand it. As I stepped out of the jeans,
kicking off my heels, I found myself wearing nothing except a thin pair of panties. I was almost naked
and so, so turned on.

“Oh fuck me, fuck me right here!” I begged. “I need you to take me, now!”
Daniel grunted in reply, then with a single swift movement reached under my ass and hoisted

me up and onto him. I wrapped my legs around his waist almost by instinct and grabbed him by the
shoulders as Daniel carried me into the house.

He moved effortlessly, like I weighed nothing, rushing up the stairs before going into his own

room and setting me gently onto the bed. I sunk into the plush mattress, the blanket gathering around
me as I watched Daniel climb on top of me.

I was so wet for him, so desperate for him to enter me, I wanted it more than anything.
“I want you so bad,” I murmured into his ear as his fingers slipped around the edge of my

panties. He slid them off me, letting the discarded fabric fall to the floor like it was nothing, and I
found myself naked underneath him.

I could feel my breath coming out ragged. His fingers moved up around my breasts, slowly

following the curve of my chest, before moving down to my waist and around my belly button. When
he headed down slowly, more slowly than before, towards my mound, I stopped breathing
completely. His touch was tantalizing, but so slow. He was driving me crazy, and doing it on
purpose!

Finally, his finger reached my clit. Daniel rubbed it a few times, sending a new pleasure

running through me and making me call out his name more and more.

“Oh, you’re so wet,” he murmured as he moved his finger down to the folds of my sex.
“I’m so wet for you. That’s how bad I want you. How bad I need you,” I replied as Daniel’s

finger moved towards my entrance. I could feel myself quivering in anticipation of having him inside
of me, every single muscle in my body tensing up. I stopped breathing, my body desperate for him,
when he suddenly slipped two fingers deep inside of me.

A moan of pleasure immediately escaped my lips as I threw my head back against the mattress,

my muscles relaxing at last. My walls were stretching to accommodate him, it had been so long since
I had anything inside of me that I felt like a virgin again. Daniel kept his fingers inside of me for a

moment, not moving them at all, letting my body adjust to him before he began to slide them in and out
of me.

All of my senses were heightened. I could see the ceiling I was staring at, hear the sounds of

his fingers moving in and out of me against the juices of my sex, the sloshing sounds it made, I could
feel his fingers touching me, sending pleasure radiating through me, I could smell his musk, his scent.
Oh God, I couldn’t believe this was happening. A shiver ran through me and I gasped as Daniel found
the perfect spot inside of me to rub past, the spot that drove me wild like nothing else.

“I need you to fuck me, right now!” I ordered. I couldn’t take it anymore. Daniel’s touch was

just too much. I could feel the need building inside of me. There was pressure there, unlike anything
else, that just needed more. I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t get him right now.

“If you say so,” Daniel replied with a grin, ripping his pants off in seconds and exposing his

shaft to me. It was hard, standing at attention as he stood at the foot of the bed before climbing on top
of me. More than that, it was enormous! I mean sure, I wasn’t the most experienced girl out there, but I
knew what was big, and that was big. I was practically salivating at the sight of his cock, I wanted it
inside of me more than anything.

Another mewl of pleasure escaped my lips as Daniel climbed on top of me once more, rubbing

his hard shaft in the juices flowing from my sex. He pressed himself up against my entrance and
pushed, sliding inside of me with a single, long stroke.

He was so huge that for a split second I felt a bit of pain, my body getting used to his size,

before the pain passed and was replaced with a pleasure, a heat that radiated through me like nothing
else.

All of a sudden all of the feelings I felt whenever I laid eyes on Daniel, from that first time in

therapy onwards, all of it was redeemed. As he pounded in and out of me with a passion I couldn’t
have imagined, a raw, animalistic, primal need to take my body, I was swept away in a tidal wave of
pleasure, my body finally getting what it had wanted for so long.

His strokes were powerful, he pounded in and out of me over and over, every time the pressure

inside of me building. My cries got louder and louder as the pressure built, my body not being able to
take it anymore.

“Oh Daniel! I’m going to come! Oh God, I’m coming!” I cried out as the pressure inside of me

boiled over and my body exploded in orgasm. It was like fireworks were going off inside of me. I
clutched at Daniel’s back and wrapped my legs around him as my muscles tensed, the walls of my sex
pulsating around his shaft as he lay still, the orgasm rushing through me. I reached new levels of
pleasure I didn’t know it was possible to feel. It was like my body was completely overtaken with
ecstasy, like it was being pumped right into me, so much so that if I felt any more pleasure I might
explode.

When the orgasm finally passed, I let my arms and legs drop onto the mattress. The experience

had completely blown me away, leaving me exhausted and out of breath. I closed my eyes and
enjoyed the sensations once more as Daniel began to move in and out of me again. I felt the same
pleasure building inside of me once more. Apparently my body hadn’t had enough yet.

Once again I clutched at Daniel. I needed him. I had just had him, and yet I needed him again. I

wanted more. My moans got louder and deeper as he continued to pound inside of me, and I could
hear his own grunts coming faster and faster.

“I’m coming again! Oh fuck!” I cried out as my body spasmed with pleasure once more, just as

Daniel grunted one last time, shooting his seed deep inside of me.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he muttere d into my ear as his shaft sent spurt after spurt of hot seed

deep inside of me. My body tensed, the pleasure overtaking me completely. I grabbed Daniel’s hair,
clutching him, pulling him to me as the orgasm racked my body.

When we finished Daniel stayed inside of me for a while before finally slipping out of me and

rolling over next to me on the bed.

“So this is my room,” Daniel joked, motioning around, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“If we keep doing this it’ll probably be easier to start calling this ‘our room’,” I replied.

Daniel grinned as he turned to me.

“I hope that means you want to do this again,” he said, and I nodded. He instantly rolled over

and began to kiss me once more.

* * *

A few hours later, when we were both completely exhausted, we finally had a shower and

crawled under the covers to get some sleep.

After a few minutes I could hear Daniel’s deep breathing next to me, but I lay awake, staring at

the ceiling. I couldn’t believe all of this had happened! Was it real? It was real, the sexiest man on the
planet was asleep next to me, after having just given me what was hands down the best night of my
life.

It was funny, how I got here. It’s funny how one person can completely change your life. I was

now lying in a luxury bed, in one of the most amazing houses I’d ever seen, with a guy who looked
like he came straight out of a superhero TV show.

I had given up on life. I had completely given up on it. Daniel had made me believe again. He

made me realize that no matter what happened in the past, it was in the past, and I shouldn’t ruin my
future because of it. He made me realize that I should follow my dreams no matter what, and I was
going to. I was going to go back to medical school in the fall. I was going to follow my dreams.

I realized as I started to slowly fall asleep that I was in love with Daniel. He was like no one I

had ever known, and no one I ever would know. We had a connection, a deep seated kindred spirit
that was more than just two similar experiences with tragedy and substance abuse. He understood me,
and I understood him. I would do anything for him, anything to help him. Yes, there was no doubt
about it. I loved Daniel Ross.

As I finally drifted off to sleep, I was happier than ever. Nothing could come in between us

now. Daniel and I would make things work, we would both work through our problems, and we
would both follow our dreams, together. I knew that with him by my side, there was no chance I
would fail. I couldn’t. Daniel was my rock, he made me whole. No, no matter what happened, Daniel
and I were going to be together. I knew as I passed into the land of slumber, that there was nothing
which could separate us.

To Be Continued

About the Author

Hi! I’m Victoria Villeneuve. I’m a small town girl at heart, with dreams of living in a cabin in

the country with my two dogs and my amazing boyfriend Mike. When I’m not writing you can usually
find me enjoying a nice mocha in my local coffee shop, reading some of my favourite books by the
lake or playing soccer with my friends.

I want to thank you for reading my story, I do hope you enjoyed it. I love to hear from my fans,

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