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NewYorkTimes,USAToday&WallStreetJournalBestsellingAuthor
SandiLynn
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Copyright©2017SandiLynnRomance,LLC
Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,distributed,or
transmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,includingphotocopying,recording,orother
electronicormechanicalmethodswithoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthepublisher.
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,placesandincidentsaretheproductsofthe
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Photo&CoverDesignby:SaraEirew@SaraEirewPhotography
EditingbyB.Z.Hercules
Eloise
Men. They all come from the big genetic whirlpool of douchebag central and their
brainsareallwiredthesamewhenitcomestowomen.Morethanhalfofthemdon’teven
havelifefiguredout,andtheonesthatdocarryaroundbaggagethatissoover-packedthe
airlineswouldmakeafortuneoffthem.DoIsoundbitter?MaybeIam.No,IknowIam
because growing up, the only thing I ever wanted was a relationship like the one my
parentshad.They’dbeenmarriedtwenty-sevenyearsandwereasinlovewitheachother
asthefirstdaytheymet.Theywereamirrorforwhatarelationshipshouldbe.ButasI
foundout,startinginmyteenageyearsthroughmyyoungadultlife,myfatherwasarare
find.One,whobysomefate,escapedfromthewhirlpoolofdouchebagcentral.
Jerry and Anna’s relationship wasn’t perfect by any means. I mean, come on, is any
relationship ever perfect? Is perfect or perfection even real? No, of course not, but their
relationship was as close to perfect as it could be. To this day, my father still buys my
momflowerseveryFridayandtellsherhowmuchhelovesher.
So there you have it. That was what I grew up seeing and believing. I believed that
everymanwaslikehimandI’dmeettheonewhowouldsweepmeoffmyfeetandtreat
melikeaqueen,thewaymyfathertreatedmymother.Growingup,Itookprideinthefact
that my parents were happy and stayed together when all my friends’ parents were
divorcing.
Ihonestlydidn’tthinkorexpectmentobesofuckingcomplicated.They’relikeabig
rubberband,stretchingouttowardswhattheythinktheywant,thensnappingbackwhen
thingsstarttogettoocomfortable.Ihadatalkwithmymomaboutthisverythingandshe
couldn’t relate because she’d never experienced it. Lucky her. It was all I seemed to
experienceoverthelast,ohIdon’tknow,tenyearsofdating.
Ihadmyfirstboyfriendattheageoffifteen.Didhereallycount?Afterall,hisbrain
wasn’t anywhere near mature enough to comprehend relationships with girls. The only
thing they focused on that young was how quickly they could get into our pants. They
woulddoorsayanythingtomakeusswoonandeventuallywe’dgiveinandhavesex.But
thatwasn’tme.Iwasnowherenearreadyforsexatthatage.
IwaiteduntilIwassixteenwhenImet“theone”andhisnamewasKyleStone.We’d
datedforacoupleofmonths,hadsex,andthenhesuddenlybrokeitoffwithmewhenthe
new girl, Taylor Bradford, transferred to our school. The devastation he left behind was
unbearable. My first heartbreak, and we all know first heartbreaks are the hardest. We
can’t even begin to comprehend what the hell happened, let alone question ourselves at
what we did wrong. It took me over six months to get over Kyle and that kind of
heartbreakwassomethingI’dneverforget.
Afterspendingthenextcoupleofyearsdatingdifferentguysandfailingatanytypeof
relationship,Igaveupandwentofftocollege,focusingonmypassion:photographyand
writing. I was a natural. My father told me I was born with a camera in my hand. Silly
man.IknewIwasn’t,buthesaidIhadagiftatcapturingpeople’srealemotions.People
maylieabouthowtheyfeel,butthecameraneverdid.Icouldphotographthehappiestof
couples,butsometimes,theirpicturestoldadifferentstory.WhenItookcountlesspictures
ofmyparentsovertheyears,theystilllookedthesameineveryoneofthem,areflection
of their happiness and love. Okay, you get the point about my parents and how I was
raised.Myexpectationswerehigh,maybetoohighandunrealistic.
While I was in college, I took on a job as an assistant to Gerard Truman, one of the
greatestphotographersinNewYork.Hewasedgy,cool,andhadagreateye.HetoldmeI
had a promising future and he could see magazine shoots such as Vogue, Cosmopolitan,
andevenTime.Idatedhereandthereincollegebutneverwouldcommittoanytypeof
relationship.Ha,whowasIkidding?Itwasn’tmewhocouldn’tcommit,itwasthevariety
ofboys—andyes,Isaidboys—Idated.Afternumerousrejectionsandtotallyfeelinglike
a failure in the dating world, I decided to take a good look at myself. Maybe I was too
needy.I didn’t thinkI was, andI certainly didn’t actlike it. Iwas a strong, independent
person,andneedinesswasn’tatraitofmine.But,afterthecountlessrejections,Ibeganto
thinktherewassomethingwrongwithmeandthatIwastheproblem,acyclethatwenton
throughoutmycollegeyearsbeforeIdiscoveredIknewbetter.
AfterIgraduated,Igotajobataphotographystudio.But,workingforsomeoneelse
didn’t sit well with me, plus a studio setting wasn’t my thing. I felt trapped and my
creativeabilitiesfeltstifled,soIdecidedtostartmyownfreelancephotographybusiness.
IupdatedmyportfolioandpoundedthestreetsofNewYork,showingoffmyworkwith
thehopesitwouldcatchtheattentionofsomeone,anyonewhowouldhireme.Icreateda
website and advertised on every social media platform I could find. Slowly, business
startedtotricklein,andwiththehelpofmyeventplannerfriend,Natalie,Iphotographed
birthday parties, anniversary parties, weddings, and any other event she was hired for.
Word about my work spread, a couple small magazine companies hired me, and after a
yearofgettingmybusinessoffthegroundandmakingdecentmoney,Iwasabletomove
outofmyparents’homeandintoanapartmentofmyown.Inotonlyhadtheincomefrom
my photography business, but I also earned money monthly from my blog: “The Dating
AdventuresofEloise.”Itwasfun,sassy,andallme.Womenlovedtohearaboutmyfailed
relationshipafterrelationshipbecausetheycouldrelateandsomehowitdidn’tmakethem
feelsoalone.
I was twenty-three years old, an entrepreneur, and I lived on my own. My life was
great, but I still felt like something was missing. And that something was a
man/relationship.Ihadalottoofferandwhywouldn’tIwanttosharethatwithsomeone
special?Iwasindependent,hadmyownbusinessandmyownmoney.Aftertakingabrief
hiatusfromthedatingworld,Iwasreadytodiveintoitagain.Howbadcoulditbe?Iwas
oldernowandthemenIwoulddatehadtobemoremature.Shit,wasIwrong.
Twoyearslater,stilltreadingthedatingworldandwithnoluckatfindingMr.Right,it
had become apparent to me that all men were assholes and all built from the same
geneticallydefecteddouchebagcloth.Myphotographybusinesswasontop,myblogwas
evenbigger,butthemenIdatedallsucked.
Myself-esteemovertheyearswenttoshitfromtheseexperiences,asdidalltheother
women’sthatwerepartofmyblog.Oneday,Iwokeupandfinallyrealizedithadnothing
todowithme.ThemomentIdecidedtotakeabreakandfocusonself-love,Imetaman
namedLuke.Hewasolder,divorced,andhadtwokids.Theolderpartdidn’tbotherme
becauseolderguysgenerallyhadtheirshittogether.Right?Heapproachedme,introduced
himself,andwegottotalking.Besidesbeingsupercuteandadorable,hehadagreatand
fun personality. We clicked right on the spot, but there was something about him that
wasn’tsittingrightwithme.MyintuitionwastellingmethingsIdidn’twanttohearandI
wasinnowaylistening.WehadaconnectionandthatwasallIcaredabout.
Weexchangednumbersandhadsomedeepconversations.Thentheflirtingstartedand
itwasexciting.Wewentonafewdateswhenhedidn’thavethekidsandIwasn’tbusy,
and generally texted each other every day. Sometimes all day long. The more I got to
knowhim,themoreIfoundhowbrokenhereallywas.Myintuitionwasstillonpoint,but
thatdidn’tbotherme.Wehadaconnection.
He had just started a new job he didn’t feel was up to his potential, his financial
situation was in the toilet, and his ex-wife was a total bitch. Did I mention he drank? It
seemedtobeadailythingwithhim.Sothefactthathemightpotentiallybeanalcoholic
crept inside me. Here I was this confident, independent, and financially stable woman,
datinganoldermanwhohadwaytoomuchbaggage.AskmewhyIdidn’trunasfastasI
could. Again, I was blinded by the fact that we had this weird type of connection thing
betweenusandthatmaybeIcouldsavehim.Isawaglimmerofhopebecauseitwaswhat
Idid.Iattractedthetypeofmenwhoneededtobesaved.
Thenoneday,outoftheclearblue,thetextmessagesbecamescarce.Hewasn’ttexting
asmuchashedidandIfeltlikeIwasdoingallthetalkingwhenwedidtext.Becausemy
intuitionwasstillkickingmeintheass,Idecidedtocallhimonedaytofindoutwhatwas
goingon.Itwasthenhetoldmehefeltweweregettingtoocloseandheneededtofigure
outhislifeandfocussolelyonthatandhiskids.Needlesstosay,Iwasblindsidedbythat
one. I had fallen for a man who had made mistake after mistake in life, was seemingly
depressed, and drank himself to sleep every night. He told me that he wasn’t in any
positiontodateatthatmoment.Thenwhythehelldidhepursuemethewayhedid?He
evenwentsofarastosaythatmaybeheshouldn’thaveaskedmeoutthefewtimeswe
saweachother.Whothehellsaysthatafterthefact?
Therealkickerwasthedaybeforeourenlightenedconversation,hetoldmehowmuch
hereallylikedmeandevencalledmehisangel.Icouldn’tunderstandforthelifeofme
whyIcouldhavemylifefiguredoutattheageoftwenty-five,yetIcouldn’tfigureouta
man and why he behaved the way he did. After pulling back for a couple of weeks, he
wormedhiswaybackintomylifeandIlethim.Mistakenumbertwo.Theflirtingbecame
heavyonceagainandthenhedidtheunthinkableact:theplungeandlunge.Hekissedme,
notonce,buttwice,thendisappeared.
Eloise
Iwaslyinginbedlookingthroughourtextmessages,tryingtofigureoutwherethings
went wrong. I couldn’t find anything, but I needed to try and move on. But what was I
movingonfrom?Abrokenalcoholicmanwhodidn’thavehislifetogether?Hewasevery
kind of wrong, and I knew it from the first time I met him, but I didn’t want to see it
because I was lonely and he walked into my life when I was most vulnerable. That was
whatIdid.Ioveranalyzedthesesituationsandspenttoomuchtimethinkingaboutthem.
But now, I was taking my power back. I would no longer fall victim to these idiots we
called men and let them have control over my emotional state. I did something I hadn’t
donebefore.Ideletedhisnumber.
Ihadneverdeletedaguy’snumber.MycontactlistwasfilledwithguysI’ddatedover
the years. I suppose I kept them because somewhere in the back of my mind, I had this
littlebitofhopethey’dcallorsendatextandthenIwouldknowwhoitwas,evenifit
was a couple of years later. I held on to this notion that maybe they would miss me.
Stupidityonmypart,Iknow.IwasfullyawareofhowpatheticIsounded.Butnow,things
weregoingtochange.Withoneswipe,Iwentthroughmyphoneanddeletedthenumber
ofeveryguyIhaddated.Itfeltgoodandempowering.
“I’msoproudofyou,”myfriendNataliespoke.
“Metoo.”Clairesmiled.
“Thanks.” I took a sip of my coffee. “Things are going to be different now. “By the
way,where’sScarlett?Ithoughtshewasmeetingushere.”
“Shewasgoingto,butHannahwokeupwithafeverthismorningandJeffhadtogo
outoftownonabusinesstrip,”Nataliespoke.
“Withyournewempowerment,I’massumingyou’reoverLukenow?”Claireasked.
IsighedasIsetdownmycoffeecup.
“Istillhavesomeunfinishedbusinesswithhim.ThethingIdon’tunderstandiswhyhe
pursuedmeinthefirstplace,knowingfullwellhislifewasshitandhedidn’twanttodate
anyone.”
“Maybe he just wanted sex,” Claire spoke. “That’s all most guys want anyway. They
aren’tlookingforanythinglongtermanymore.Theywanttheircakeandeatittoo.”She
smiled.
“Don’t even question it. He’s not worth it. Plus, did you really want to play step-
mommytohismonsterchildren?”Natalieasked.“You’reonlytwenty-five.Fartooyoung
totakeonanysortofkidresponsibility.Nottomentionhisexcessivedrinkinghabit.”
“IknowandIthoughtofthat.”IlookeddownatmycoffeecupasItracedtherimwith
myfinger.“Imean,Iknowhewasn’tgoodformeandhe’deventuallydragmedownthe
samedrainhislifewasstuckin,buthewasfun,andIlikedourconversationsandourtime
together.”
“You haven’t even slept with him,” Claire spoke as she reached across the table and
placedherhandonmyarm.“Nottomentionhedidtheplungeandlunge.”
“ThankGodwedidn’tsleeptogether.Butit’snotlikehedidn’twantto,”Ispoke.
“Here’swhatIthink,”Nataliechimedin.“Ithinkit’sthewholerejectionpartofit.He
wasthestrawthatbrokethecamel’sbackforyoubecauseyouexpectedmorefromhim
sincehewasolder.Weallknowyoudon’thandlerejectionverywell.”Shesmirked.
“All that’s changing now.” I smiled. “My problem is I always get too emotionally
attached right out of the gate and I’m not doing that anymore. I flipped the switch and
turnedoffallmyemotions.”
“Youcan’tdothat,”Clairespoke.
“IcanandIhave.”Ismiled.“Plus,Iknowmyself-worthandIhavestandards.”
Bothgirlsrolledtheireyesatthesametime.
“Sonowwhat?Areyoujustgoingtoswearoffmen?”Natalieasked.
“No.”Ismirked.“I’mgoingtogetinsidethemindsofthem.”
“Really?”Nataliesighed.“Andhowareyougoingtodothat?”
“Bygoingoutwithabunchofdifferentguysandinterviewingthem.”Itookasipof
mycoffee.
“Youcan’tbeserious!”Clairelaughed.
“Iam.You’llsee.Ihaveaplan.”Iarchedmybrow.“Bytheway,Claire,how’sthenew
jobworkingout?”
“Great.Ilovemyboss.He’ssoniceandI’mreallylikingitthere.Kennyjustmethim
theotherdayandtoldmethatIneededtoquit.”
“Why?”Iasked.
“Becausehe’syoung,super-hot,andrich.”Shesmirked.
Irolledmyeyes.
“Iwouldneverbeinterestedinhimanyway,he’saserialdater.Everynight,hehasa
newwomanhegoesoutwith.Ithinkhehasarelationshipphobia.”
“See!”Ipointedather.“Ifguyscandoit,socanI!”IsmiledasIheldupmycoffee
cup.
I met Claire, Natalie, and Scarlett my freshman year of college. We formed a little
posseandhavebeeninseparableeversince.Natalieisaneventplanner,Claireisagraphic
designer,andScarlettisastay-at-homemom.SheandJeffwerehighschoolsweethearts.
Hewasanotherrarefind,likemydad.Hewasagoodguy,andwhenshegotpregnanta
yearandahalfago,heaskedhertomarryhimandnowthey’reahappylittlefamily.He
works on Wall Street and has a fantastic job, one that allows Scarlett to stay home with
Hannah. I wasn’t sure how long her stay-at-home mommy status was going to last,
though.Icouldtellshewasstartingtoloseherself.Wealltriedtoconvincehertogeta
part time job, but Jeff wouldn’t hear of it. He wanted her home raising their daughter. I
couldpotentiallyseesometroubleintheirfutureifshedidn’tstandupforherself.
****
After my photo shoot, I grabbed some dinner and headed home. Sitting on the couch
with my knees up, I stabbed a piece of sweet and sour chicken from the carton and
broughtittomymouth.TheGilmoreGirlsplayedinthebackground,butIwasn’tpaying
attention. My mind was too busy thinking about the plan I was putting together for my
blog.Ifinishedmysweetandsourchicken,setthecontaineronthecoffeetable,grabbed
mylaptop,andsignedintomyMatchaccount,weedingthroughtheseventy-fivemessages
Ireceivedinthelasttwodays.IpickedtheseventhatIthoughtwerethebestandsetupa
date for every night of the week with a different guy. Now I know you might think this
was nothing but pure desperation on my part, but I can assure you it wasn’t. I was no
longerlookingforarelationshiportheperfectman.Ihadaplantoputintoactionformy
blog. The women who followed it depended on me to give them answers and guidance.
Butfirst,IneededtogiveLukeapieceofmymindandputclosureonhim.
I pulled up my text messages. Shit. I forgot I had deleted his number. My mind
pondered. I knew the area code and the first two numbers and the last four. It was that
third number that I couldn’t quite think of. Ah, I remembered it and my fingers went to
work.
“You’re an asshole. Plain and simple. I can’t believe I wasted my time with someone
likeyou.Youareapatheticalcoholicwhowillneveramounttoanything.Sokeeptryingto
figureyourlifeoutandgoodluck.Someonelikeyouwillalwaysbedestinedtostayatthe
bottom.Peaceout,motherfucker!BTW,don’tevertextmeagain!”
IletoutadeepbreathasIhitthesendbutton.Withasmileonmyface,Isignedinto
myblogandchangedthenamefromTheDatingAdventuresofEloisetoTheChroniclesof
#Delete.Myfingerstypedawayatthevictorythatwasmine.Hewasgone,done,anda
memory that was now forgotten. As I finished, my phone dinged with a text message.
Lookingover,Inarrowedmyeyeathisnumber.Ididn’tcarewhathehadtosay,butIhad
to check anyway and then delete it. When I opened the text message, I looked at it in
confusion.
“Hello. Your text message had me in tears with laughter. You’re quite a little spitfire
andI’massumingyourboyfriendbrokeupwithyouorsomething.Ifthistextwasmeant
forhim,I’msorrytosaythathedidn’tgetit.Apparently,yousentthisbymistaketothe
wrongnumber.Thankyouthough.Thistotallymademyday.”
What the fuck? I stared at the number I sent the text message to very carefully. Shit.
Shit.Shit.IwasninetypercentsureIhadtherightnumber.Apparently,Ididn’t,soIsent
anapologytext.
“I’msosorryforthattext.Ihadalreadydeletedtheguy’snumberandthoughtIhadit
correct.Iwasgoingoffmemory,whichobviouslyprovednottobeagoodidea.Anyway,I
apologizeforthemixup,butI’mhappyImadeyourday.”Iattachedthesmileyfaceemoji
andhitsend.
Christian
Myphonedingedwithatextmessage,andwhenIlookedatit,Inoticeditwasfrom
thatsamenumberasjustafewmomentsago.IlightlyshookmyheadasIreaditanda
smallsmilecrossedmylips.
“Someonesextingyou?”Petersmirkedashewalkedintomyoffice.
“Nah.Igotthisbizarretextmessageafewminutesago.Here,readthis.”Ihandedhim
myphone.
“Andyou’resurethisisn’tfromoneofthemillionwomenyoudate?”Helaughed.
“I’veneverseenthatnumberbeforeinmylife.Soyes,I’msure.Besides,I’mnotan
alcoholic,Ihavemylifefiguredout,andI’matthetop,notthebottom.”Ismiled.
“True.Butyouareanassholeandsometimesamotherfucker.So,she’sgotthatright.”
Hehandedmyphonebacktome.
“Veryfunny.AreyouandJimmydoinganythingtonight?”
“I’mnot.Why?”
“IthoughtthethreeofuscouldheadovertoHellcatAnnie’sforsomebeerandfood
whilewediscussanaccount.”
“You’reactuallyfreeofawomantonight?”Hisbrowraised.
“No one worth asking out at the moment. Plus, we need to go over the Fire Line
account and what better way to do it than having a bro’s night at Hellcat Annie’s?” I
smirked.
“Soundsgoodtome.I’llgotellJimmytocancelanyplanshehas.”
“I’llmeetyouguystherearoundeighto’clock.I’mgoingtogohomeandchangefirst.”
WhenIgothome,Ijumpedintotheshowerandquicklychangedintosomethingmore
casual.Pickingupmyphone,Idecidedtorespondbacktothelastmessageshesent.
“Ifounditquiteentertaining.Imustapologizeforourspeciesandthefactthathemust
have done something really shitty to warrant that text. Smart move deleting his number.
He’snotworthit.Moveon.”
As I finished buttoning the last button on my shirt, my phone dinged with a text
message.
“Thank you. No need to apologize for your species. You can’t help that you all come
fromthesamewhirlpoolofdouchebagcentral.Iknowhe’snotworthitandIhavemoved
on.Allisgoodnow.”
Samewhirlpoolofdouchebagcentral?Iletoutachuckle.
“We’renotalldouchebags.Therearesomedecentguysintheworld.”
“Really?Areyouadecentguy?”
“I like to think so, at least most of the time. I will admit I do have douchebag
tendencieshereandthere,butthatalldependsonhowcrazythegirlis.”
“Soit’sthewoman’sfaultthatguysaredouchebags?”
Itookaseatontheedgeofthebed.
“Sometimes.Ifthey’rewhiny,needy,andunbearable,thenyes.It’stimeslikethatwhen
weneedtobedouchebags.”
“Didyoueverstoptothinkthatwomenactlikethatbecauseofthedouchebaggeryof
men?”
Ilaughed.
“Is‘douchebaggery’evenaword?”Iasked.
“Lol.Idon’tknow.”
“Thankyouforthestimulatingconversation,butIneedtoleavenow.I’mmeetingsome
friendsfordrinks,”Ireplied.
“Haveagoodnightanddomeafavoranddon’tbeadouchebagtonight.”
“I’lltrynottobe.Haveagoodnightaswell.”
I got up from the bed, shaking my head and smiling. This girl was kind of funny. I
grabbedmywalletandkeyandhailedacabtoHellcatAnnie’s.
Eloise
“Whatareyoudoing?”NatalieaskedasIansweredthephone.
“WatchingGilmoreGirls.”
“GetchangedandmeetmeandScarlettatHellcatAnnie’s.”
“IthoughtScarlettcouldn’tgooutbecauseHannahwassick?”
“Jeff’sflightgotcancelledandhecouldn’tcatchanotherflightouttoday,sohe’shome
andtoldherhe’dtakecareofHannahifshewantedtogoout.”
“Whenareyoumeeting?”Iasked.
“We’reonourwaynow.Clairehasafamilydinneratherparents’house,soshecan’t
joinus.”
“Okay.I’llgetchangedandheadoverthere.”
“Great.Seeyousoon.”
Ireallydidn’tfeellikegoingout,butIknewifIdidn’t,I’dneverheartheendofit.I
got up from the couch, turned the TV off, and changed my clothes for a night of drinks
andlaughterwithmygirls.
When I walked through the door of Hellcat Annie’s, I spotted Scarlett and Natalie
sittingatatable.Nataliewavedmeoverwhenshesawme.
“Hello.”IsmiledasIkissedScarlett’scheekandthenNatalie’s.“Oh,isthisforme?”I
askedasIlookeddownatthecosmopolitanonthetable.
“Yes.Itookthelibertyoforderingitforyou.”Nataliesmiled.
“Thanks.”
Isatdowninmychairandpickedupmyglass.
“How’sHannahdoing?”IaskedScarlett.
“Thedoctorsaidshe’steething.She’sbeenanightmarelately.Shewasscreamingher
headoffwhenIwalkedoutthedoor.PoorJeff.”Shesmirked.
“Youdon’treallymeanthat,”bothNatalieandIspokeatthesametime.
“No,Idon’t.”Shelaughed.
“So,”Islightlyleanedacrossthetable,“tomorrowwillbetheofficialdayI’mkicking
offTheChroniclesof#Deleteonmyblog.”
“What?”Scarlettaskedinconfusion.
“You’regoingtolovethis.”Nataliegrinnedasshetookasipofherdrink.
“#Deleteisthenewprojectformyblog.AfterIgoonmultipledatesandinterviewthe
guys,Iwill#Deletetheirassfrommyphone.”
“Why?”sheasked.
“Soshe’snottemptedtotextanyofthemwhentheydon’ttexther,”Nataliespokeas
sherolledhereyes.
“That is not true.” I cocked my head. “I’m changing my game in the dating world. I
have given up trying to find the perfect guy who doesn’t behave like a douchebag. I’ll
collect the information and then pass it along to my ladies, via my blog.” I smiled. “In
fact,Ialreadyhavedatessetupforthenextsevennights.”
“AllfromMatch,Ipresume?”Scarlettspoke.
“Asamatteroffact,yes.”
“Butwhy?”Shegavemeaweirdlook.
“Why not? My goal is to help empower women when it comes to dating a guy who
startsbehavingbadly.I’mnotdoingthiswiththehopesofgettingintoarelationshipwith
someone.Thosedays,atleastfornow,areoveruntilIcangetinsidetheheadofaman
andtrulyknowwhat’sgoingoninhisfeeblelittlemind.”
“Wait a minute.” Scarlett shook her head. “Isn’t Match.com a place where guys and
girlsactuallywanttomeetsomeonewiththepossibilityofhavingarelationship?Isn’tthat
whytheyjoininthefirstplace?”
“Yes.And?”Iarchedmybrow.
Itookthelastsipofmydrinkandheldmyfingeruptosignalourwaitressovertoour
table.
“I’mheadedovertothebar.”Agorgeousmansmiledashestoppedbyourtable.“What
canIgetyou?”heaskedashelookeddownatmyemptyglass.
Istaredathimfromheadtotoe.Sixfootone,maybetwo.Sandybrownhairthatwas
perfectlystyled.Thebluesteyesthatcouldbenoticedfromfaracrosstheroom.Eyesthat
reminded me of beautiful tropical waters. His smile was panty-melting as was the light
stubblehesportedalonghismasculinejawline.Igulped.
“Acosmopolitan.”IgraciouslysmiledasIswallowedthelumpinmythroat.
“One cosmopolitan coming right up.” He winked. “Ladies, do you need a refill?” he
askedNatalieandScarlett.
“No.We’regood,”Natalieresponded.
Themomenthewalkedaway,IletoutthebreathI’dheldinsideme.
“OhmyGod.”MymouthdroppedasIlookedatthem.
“He’sahottie.”Scarlettsmiled.
“He’s a player,” Natalie spoke. “A guy who you’d fall for in a second, full emotions
andall.Iseethelookonyourface,Eloise.It’salreadyhappening!Stoprightthere!”She
pointedatme.#Delete,remember?”
“You’re right.” I put up my hand. “He is a player. I’ve got that whole player vibe
runningthroughme.”
“Hereyouare.”Thegorgeousmansmiledashesetmydrinkdowninfrontofme.
“Thankyou.”Ifelttheheatriseinmycheeks.“HowmuchdoIoweyou?”
“Yourdrinkisonme.TheonlythingIaskinreturnisyourname.”Hesmirked.
Iswallowedhard.
“Eloise.”
Withasmile,hecockedhishead.
“Whatabeautifulname.I’mChristian.”Heheldouthishand.
I looked at it for a moment with fear coursing through my veins. Slowly lifting my
hand, I placed mine in his and lightly shook it while my knees trembled underneath the
table.
“Itwasnicetomeetyou,Eloise.”
“Youtoo,Christian.Thanksagainforthedrink.”
“Thepleasurewasallmine.”Hegavemeawinkandwalkedbacktohistable.
I sat there, staring at him while he walked away as Natalie and Scarlett waved their
handsinfrontofmyface.
“Shit,”Nataliespoke.“Eloise,focus!”
Isnappedbackintorealityandinhaledasharpbreath.
“You aren’t that woman anymore, remember?” Scarlett spoke. “You’re on a mission
andhe’snotpartofit.Don’tletthegirlswhoreadyourblogdown.”
“You’reright.”
We talked for a while longer, finished our drinks, and headed home. As I left the
restaurantandwastryingtohailacab,Iheardsomeonecallmyname.
“Eloise?”
Iturned,onlytoseeChristianapproachingme.
“Hi.”Ismiled.
“Hi.IsthereachanceIcangetyourphonenumber?”
The butterflies in my stomach woke up and filled me with a fluttering sensation that
wouldn’tstop.Shit.Shit.Shit.Iwantedtogiveittohim.Itwasonthetipofmytongue.
My heart was screaming YES, but my head screamed NO, and then I thought about my
mission.
“I’mflatteredyouwantit,butIcan’tgiveittoyou.I’msorry.”
“Youcan’toryouwon’t?”Hesmirked.
“Iwon’t.IjustgotoutofarelationshipandIhavethingsIneedtofigureout.”
“Okay,butwhosaidanythingaboutarelationship?Ithoughtmaybewecouldtalkand
meetfordinnersometime.”
“Ididn’tsayIwantedarelationshipwithyou.”Icockedmyhead.“I’msimplyletting
youknowthatI’mnotinterestedingoingoutwithanyonerightnow.”
Hiseyenarrowedatmeasheslowlynoddedhishead.Fuck,hewassosexyandthis
brokemyrapidlybeatingheart,forIknewhistype,anditwashistypethatwouldsend
mespiralingdownintothedepthsofemotionalhell.
“Iunderstand.Haveagoodnight,Eloise.”Hehelduphishandandhailedacabforme.
“Thankyou,Christian.Sametoyou.”
IclimbedintothebackofthecabandChristianshutthedoor.
“Whereto,lady?”thecabdriverasked.
“360 West 43
rd
Street, please,” I spoke as the cab pulled away and I lifted my hand,
givingChristianasmallwavegoodbye.
Christian
“So,didyougethernumber?”Jimmyaskedaswesatattheroundtableinmyoffice.
“Nah.Shewouldn’tgiveittome.”
Peternearlyspitouthiscoffee.
“What?SomeoneactuallyturneddownthegreatChristianBlake?”Helaughed.
“Shesaidsomethingaboutjustgettingoutofarelationshipandshewasn’tlookingto
dateanyonerightnow.”Isighed.
“Ohwell,ontothenext.”Jimmysmiled.
Icouldn’tstopthinkingaboutherallnight.Themomentmyeyessawhersittingatthe
tablewithherfriends,somethingstruckinsideme.Ifeltthisoverwhelmingneedtowant
to get to know her. She was gorgeous. Five foot seven with long brown wavy hair that
perfectly flowed over her shoulders. Her green eyes sparkled like shiny emeralds that
couldlightupeventhedarkestofrooms.Eyesthatcouldholdtheuniversewithinthem.I
satatmytableandwatchedthewayherperfectlyshapedlipsgavewaytoasmile.Asmile
thatilluminatedherbeautifulface.
We shared a moment, and even though that moment was brief, it would be one I’d
rememberforalongtime.
“Bro,areyouokay?”Peterasked.
“What?”Iblanklystaredathim.
“Youzonedoutforamoment,”Jimmyspoke.“Youstillthinkingaboutthatgirl?”
“Noway.”Igotupfrommychair.“Idon’tdoshitlikethatandyouknowit.”Ilooked
at my watch. “It’s time for our weekly productivity meeting. I’ll meet you in the
conferenceroom.”
Walkingovertomydesk,Ipickedupmyphoneandhelditinmyhand.Openingmy
messages,Idecidedtosendatextmessagetothegirl.
“Just checking in to see how last night was and to let you know that I wasn’t a
douchebag.”
AsIwaswalkingtomymeeting,areplycamethrough.
“Lol.I’mhappytohearyourefrainedfrombeingadouchebag.Mynightwasexciting!
Well,maybenottooexciting.Justhadagirls’nightwithmyfriends.”
IsentheramessagebackasIwalkedintotheconferenceroom.
“Girls’nightisgood.Atleastyouweren’thomemopingaroundoverthatjerk.I’moff
toameetingnow.Catchyalater!”
“Idon’tmope.I’mbetterthanthat.HaveagoodmeetingandI’llcatchyalater.”
Iletoutalightchucklebeforetakingmyseatandstartingthemeeting.
****
WhenIgothome,Iquicklyshoweredandchangedformydatewithawomannamed
Cheyenne.I’dmetherlastweekatanartgalleryopening.Shewasattractiveandnewly
divorced. She told me she’d only been married a couple of years and it was the biggest
mistakeofherlife.Oneshewouldn’tmakeagain.Hervibetoldmethatshewaslooking
tohavesomefunandthatwasallIwantedtoo.So,IcalledherlastnightafterIgothome
andsetupthedate.WassheEloise?Absolutelynot,butIcouldn’tletherrejectionofme
interferewithdatingotherwomen.I’dbeeninacoupleofrelationshipsinmylifeandthey
justneverseemedright.Iwasn’tagainstrelationships.Theyjustweren’tforme.Atleast
at this point in my life. Maybe in ten years, I’d feel differently. I just dated different
women all the time without the hassles of being in a relationship. Life was too short to
committooneperson.Especiallyatmyageofthirty.Iwasinmyprimeyears,building
my advertising firm, making a shitload of money, and enjoying everything life had to
offer,includingbeautifulwomen.
“SorryI’mlate,”IspokeasIleanedoverandkissedCheyenne’scheek.“Trafficwas
horribletonightandIwasalmostkilledtwicewhenthecabbiedecidedtocutafewpeople
off.”
“Noproblem.”Shesmiled.
Itooktheseatacrossfromherandlookedoverthewinelist.
“Isthereacertaintypeofwineyouprefer?”Iasked.
“Iwouldactuallypreferabottleofchampagne,”shereplied.
Wow.Thatcaughtmeoffguard.Firstdateandshe’salreadyexpectingthebest.
“Okay.Champagne,itis.”
ThewaitressbroughtourbottleofChampagneandthenproceededtotakeourdinner
order.Ofcourse,Cheyenneorderedthemostexpensivethingonthemenu.Icouldalready
tellshewashighmaintenance,especiallywiththeamountofBotoxshehadinjectedinto
her skin at such a young age. The more we talked, or should I say, she talked, the more
boredIbecame.Whensheexcusedherselftothebathroom,Ipulledmyphonefrommy
pocket.Pullingupmymessages,Isentatexttothatgirl.
“Hi.I’monadateandterriblybored.”
“You’re not the only one. I’m also on a date and my face is about ready to hit the
plate.”
Iletoutalightlaugh.
“Hecan’tbeworsethanmine.She’sabuyer.Asinhandbagsandshoes,forherself.”
“Lol.Myguyisafinancialadvisor,andforthelasttwohours,allhe’stalkedaboutis
RothIRAsandshit.DidImentionhe’swearingabowtie?”
“Youpoorgirl.”
“He’scomingbackfromthebathroom.We’lltalklater?”
“Ofcourse.Cutthedateshortifhe’sthatbad.Ifyouneedmyhelp,letmeknow.”
“Thanks.But,liketheladyIam,I’llfinishitoutandthenlethimdowngently.”
“Goodgirl.”
Cheyennewalkedbacktothetableandsatdowninherseat.
“Whowereyoutexting?”sheasked.
Igaveheranoddlookbecause,frankly,thatwasnoneofherbusiness.
“Oneofmycolleagues.There’saworkissue,”Ireplied.
“Doyoualwaysdoworkwhenyou’reonadate?Myexusedtodothatallthetimeand
itwassoannoying.”
Iwantedtotellherthatheprobablywasn’tworkingandmorethanlikelytextingother
womenhewasseeingontheside.Oncewefinisheddinner,Ipaidthebillandwestepped
outintothebrightlylitNewYorkCitystreets.CheyenneranherfingerdownmychestasI
wastryingtosaygoodbye.
“Howaboutwegotomyplaceforanightcaportwo?”Shesmiled.
“Asniceasthatsounds,I’mafraidIcan’t.Ihaveaveryearlymeetingtomorrow.”
“Poopoo.”Shepouted.
Isighed,asIcouldn’twaittogetawayfromher.
“Thanksfordinner.Ihadagreattime,Christian.Callme?”Herbrowarched.
“Ihadanicetimetoo,”Ilied.“I’llcallyou,”Iliedagain.
Ileanedoverandlightlykissedhercheekbeforeputtingherinacabandsendingher
home.
Stepping into my bedroom, I stripped out of my clothes and put on a pair of black
pajamabottoms.Pickingupmyphone,Isentthatgirlatext.
“Hasyourdateended?”
“Yes.I’mhomesafeandsound.ButthetalkofRothIRAswon’tstopcirclingaroundin
myhead.Howaboutyou?”
“Yes.I’mhome.Shewantedtogobacktoherplace.Ipolitelydeclined.”
“I’mshocked.Youturneddownsexwithawoman?Whatkindofmanareyou?”
“Amanwholooksatawomanformorethanjustsex.Idon’tsleepwitheverywomanI
take out. By the way, is there a chance I can get your name? After all, we seem to be
textingquiteabit.”
“Wouldn’t that ruin the mystery of us?” she replied. “I kind of like not knowing who
youare.”
“Isupposeyou’reright.Twostrangerstalkingbyoneaccidentaltextisdifferent.ButI
stillneedtocallyousomethingotherthan‘thatgirl.’”
“HowaboutDigits?”shereplied.“SinceIsentyoumydigitsbyaccident.”
“Digits.Ilikeit.YouarenowofficiallyinmyphoneasDigits.”
“Great.I’llthinkofanameforyou.Enjoytherestofyourevening.Ineedtogotobed
now and sleep off the massive numbers running through my head from all that financial
adviceIreceived.”
“Lol.Goodnight,Digits.”
“Goodnight,MobileMan.Oh,there’syourname.”
“Ilikeit.”IsmiledasIreplied.
“Metoo.”
Eloise
Iwasinthemiddleofshootingacouple’sengagementpicturesinCentralParkwhen
myphonedinged.Aswewereonourwaytoournextlocation,Ipulledmyphonefrom
pocketandcheckedmytextmessages.
“Hi!Iwasjustthinkingaboutyou.Howareyoudoing?I’msurprisedIhaven’theard
fromyou.”
IglaredatthenumberandrealizeditwasfromLuke.Hewassurprisedhehadn’theard
fromme?Washeserious?Myfingerswenttotypingtown.
“Why are you thinking about me? By the way, I’m doing fantastic! I would ask how
you’redoing,butIdon’treallycare,whichisthereasonwhyyouhaven’theardfromme.”
Afewmomentslater,hereplied.
“Wow.Justwow!Wherethehelldidthatcomefrom?”
“#Delete,”Iquicklyrespondedandthendeletedhisnumber.
“Whatdoesthatmean?!”Hisnumberpoppedupagain.
Iignoredhim,swipedtotheleftanddeletedhisnumberbecauseIcouldn’tspendany
moretimeorenergyonhisdumbass.IfinishedthephotoshootandheadedtoStarbucks
foracoffeeandtostartwritingmyblogpostaboutmydatelastnight.Ihadacoupleof
hourstosparebeforeIhadtogethomeandchangeforanotherdate.
As I was typing away and sipping my coffee, I heard a loud voice enter through the
door.
“Hey, you!” Claire smiled as she walked over and hugged me. “What are you doing
here?”
“IjustfinishedaphotoshootandI’mblogging.”Ismiled.“Aren’tyousupposedtobe
atwork?”
“I’m on a coffee run for the guys.” She rolled her eyes. “Hey.” She sat down in the
chairacrossfromme.“MybossishavingapartythisSaturdayathisplaceandinvitedme.
KennyisgoingonthatcampingweekendwiththeguysandsaidIwasn’tallowedtogo
unlessyou,Nat,orScarlettwentwithme.”
“Ishereallythatworriedaboutyourboss?”Icockedmyhead.
“Hehasinsecurities.Youknowthat.Remember,hislastgirlfriendlefthimforanother
guy.”
“Igetthat,butheneedstogetoverit!Whyareyouwithhimifhedoesn’ttrustyou?”
“Hetrustsme.It’stheothermenhedoesn’ttrust.Sayyou’llgo.Please.Pretty,pretty
please.”
“IhaveadateSaturdaynight,remember?”Iarchedmybrow.
“BFFs before dates. You know the rule, Eloise. Think of the guys you’ll meet at the
party.Youcanblogaboutthem!”Shesmirked.
“Thatdefeatsthepurposeof#Delete.”
“Maybenot.Gettheirnumber,gooutonadate,interviewthem,andthen#Deletetheir
ass!”
As she was trying to convince me to cancel my date for Saturday night, my phone
dingedwithatextmessagefromMobileMan.Thecornersofmylipscurvedintoasmall
smile.
“Topofthedaytoyou.Hopeit’sagoodone.AndIhopethenumbershavestoppedin
yourhead.”
“Whotextedyou?”Claireasked.“Whyareyousmiling?”
Ihadn’ttoldanyofthemyetaboutMobileManbecauseIdidn’tthinkwe’dbetalking
asmuchaswewere.Iguessitwastimetoletthecatoutofthebag.
“I’mtalkingtoMobileMan.”IcasuallysmiledasIsippedmycoffee.
“Who?”Herbrowsfurrowed.
“Last week, when I was telling off Luke via text, I accidentally sent it to the wrong
phonenumber.Thisguyrespondedandwejuststartedtextingeachother,likeeveryday.”
“Whoisthisguy?”
“Idon’tknow.Icallhim‘MobileMan’andhecallsme‘Digits.’”
“Okay,that’sfuckingweird.What’shisname?”
“Idon’tknowandIdon’twanttoknow.Themysteryofitisexciting!”Ismirked.
“So you’re texting some random guy every day and you don’t know anything about
him?”
“Youarecorrect.”Ilightlynodded.
“You,myfriend,havegonecompletelyinsane.Hecouldbemarriedforallyouknow.”
“He’snot.HewasonadatelastnightjustlikeIwas.Wewerebothboredsowestarted
textingeachother.”
Ipickedupmyphoneandrepliedtohim.
“Hi!Topofthedaytoyoutoo!Thenumbershavestopped,thankgod!How’syourday
going?”
“Putthatphonedownandtellmemore!”shedemanded.
“There’s nothing more to tell. I know not one thing about him except that he doesn’t
sleepwitheverywomanhetakesout.”
“Yeah,right.”Sherolledhereyesandthenlookedatherwatch.“Shit.Ineedtoorder
thecoffeesandgo.So,yestoSaturday?”Shestoodupandplacedherhandonherhip.
“Fine.I’llgo.”
“Yay!It’llbefun.Justyouwaitandsee!”
Assoonasshewalkedaway,myphonedingedagain.
“Thedayisgood.Alotofcontractsarebeingsignedtodayandmoneyisbeingmade.
Couldn’taskforanythingmore.”
“Soyou’reincorporatebusiness?Justasimpleyesorno,please.”
Ididn’twanttoknowanythingabouthim.Thisgamewasfunanditallowedmetobe
anyoneIwantedandanyonehewanted.
“Yes.I’mincorporatebusiness.Whatdoyoudo?”
Ineededtothinkquick.
“I’minthesocialmediarelationsbusiness.”
“Ah,Isee.Caretoelaborateonthat?”
“Iliketowrite.”
“Areyoulikeajournalistorsomething?”
“Somethinglikethat.”
“Listen,Digits,Ihavetoheadintoameeting.Catchyalater?”
“Okay.Catchyalater.”
****
Islippedintomytight-fitted,spaghetti-strapblackdressandshovedmyfeetintoapair
of black Kate Spade heels with a peep toe and a bow. Tonight’s date was with a man
namedAaron.Accordingtohisprofile,hewasthirtyyearsoldandahighschoolscience
teacher. As I was walking out the door, a text message came through from a number I
didn’trecognize.
“Hi,Eloise.Ireallyenjoyedournighttogetherlastnight.Howaboutwesetupanother
date?”
Shit.ItwasfromFrankie,thefinancialguy.Becausehewastoobusytryingtofeedmy
soul full of financial advice, I didn’t get to ask him many questions when it came to
women.TheonlythingIcouldgetoutofhimwasthathelikedtowaitacoupleofdays
afteradatetotextthegirlback.Sowhythehellwashetextingmealready?
“Hi,Frankie.You’reaniceguy,butIdon’tthinkanotherdateissuchagoodidea.I
reallywasn’tfeelingaconnection.I’msorry.”
“No problem. I wasn’t feeling it either, but I thought I would give you a second
chance,”hereplied.
Rollingmyeyes,Iswipedtotheleftanddeletedhisboringass.
WhenIreachedPRINT,arestaurantoverinHell’sKitchen,Iwalkedinsideandlooked
around.
“CanIhelpyou?”theyoungredheadedhostessasked.
“I’mmeetingsomeonehere.”
“Aaron?”sheasked.
“Yes.”Ismiled.
“Followme,please.”
IfollowedhertothetablewhereAaronsat.Hewascute,Iwon’tlie.Cleancut,dark
hair,babyface.Iwassurethegirlsinhisclassswoonedoverhimeveryday.
“My God.” He grinned as he stood up from his chair. “You are more beautiful in
person.”Hekissedmycheek.
“Thankyou.”Ismiled.
“Itookthelibertyoforderingabottleofwhitewine.Ihopethat’sokay.”
“Ilikewhitewine.”ThecornersofmymouthslightlycurvedupwardsasItooktheseat
acrossfromhim.
We talked about his job, my job, his family, and my family. We had a few things in
commonandheseemedeasytotalkto.Iwasanxiouslywaitingfortheperfectopportunity
toslipmyquestionsin.Hecaughtmeoffguardwhenhereachedacrossthetableandtook
holdofmyhand,interlacingourfingers.
“Canwejustgetmarried?BecauseI’mninety-ninepercentsurethatwe’resoulmates
andonehundredpercentsurethatI’minlove.”
Isattherestaringathimindisbelief.Suddenly,Iletoutalightlaugh.
“That’ssweet.You’refunny.”
“Whyisthatfunny?”heaskedinaserioustone.“Imeanit.IknowwhenI’minlove,
andrightnow,I’minlovewithyou,Eloise.You’regorgeous,youhaveagreatpersonality,
andIknowyou’remysoulmate.Icanfeelitineveryfiberinmybody.”
Pullingmyhandawayfromhis,Ispoke,“Well,Aaron,canyoupleasetellthefibersin
yourbodytostopfeelingit.”Ismirkedtotryandlightenthemoment.
“No,Iwon’t!”heloudlyvoiced.
Iglancedaroundtherestauranttomakesurenoonewasstaringatus.Slowlygetting
upfromthetable,Igrabbedmypurse.
“IthinkI’mgoingtocallitanight.”Ipulledsomecashoutfrommywalletandthrew
itonthetable.“Icanpayformyowndinner.Thanks.”Iscurriedoutoftherestaurantand
climbedintoacabthatwassittingatthecurb.
This date was one that went very wrong. Pulling my phone from my purse, I deleted
Aaron’snumberandthensentatextmessagetoMobileMan.
“Ijusthadtoexitadateearlybecausetheguytoldmethathewasinlovewithme,he
knowswe’resoulmates,andweshouldgetmarried.”
Afewmomentslater,hereplied.
“Howlonghaveyouknownthisguy?”heasked.
“Ijustmethimtonight.Whatthehelliswrongwiththeseguys?”
“Lol.Youmusthavemadehisheartstop.Iwillsaythatisunusualbehavior.Theguy
mustbedesperate.”
“He’snotdesperate,he’sweird.AndnowIcanseewhyhe’ssingle.Shame,though,he
wasreallycute.”
“Youcan’talwaysgobylooks,Digits,”hereplied.
“Oh please, Mobile Man. You’re not going to tell me that you date not-so-attractive
women.It’spurelyphysicalforyouguys.”
“Fine.Youcaughtme.”
“Thoughtso.”
“Butit’sthesamewithyouwomenaswell.Ifyoudon’tthinkaguyishotorsexy,you
won’tgivehimthetimeofday.”
“Thatisnottrue.”
“Yes,itisandyouknowit.”
Isighed.Iknewhewasright,butIdidn’twanttoadmitittohim.
“Comeon,Digits.Admitit.”
“I’mpleadingthefifth,”Ireplied.
“Ha.Thatrightthereisyouranswer.”
“I’m home now and going to soak in a hot bubble-filled tub. Catch ya later, Mobile
Man.”
“Enjoytherestofyourevening,Digits.Catchyalater.”
Christian
“Who are you texting, bro? We’re trying to finish this meeting so we can go home,”
Peterspoke.
“Digits.”Isetmyphonedown.
“Isthatthegirlwhosentyouthatweirdtextmeantforsomeoneelse?”Jimmyasked.
“Yes.”Ismirked.
“Youtwoarestilltextingeachother?”Peterfurrowedhisbrow.
“Yep.Everyday,”Ireplied.
“Butyouknownothingabouther?”Jimmycockedhishead.
“Nope.Nothing.”
“Dude,seriously,whyareyoustilltalkingtoher?”Peterasked.
“BecauseIliketo.She’sfunandaloteasiertotalktothanhalfthewomenIdate.”
“Ibetshe’suglyasfuck.”Jimmylaughed.
Peterletoutalaughandpointedathim.
“Sowhat?It’snotlikeI’mdatingher.We’rejusttexting.”
“And you’re going to sit there and tell me that you’re not the least bit curious as to
whatshelookslike?”Peterraisedhisbrow.
“Nope.Notatall.She’sjustsomeoneIliketotalktoviatext.”
“Yeah.Okay,bro.”Jimmylaughed.
We ended our late night meeting and I headed home. The truth was I would love to
know what Digits looked like. I was curious because she seemed to have such a great
personality. But, unfortunately, I would never know because she liked keeping herself a
secret.Nonetheless,shewasadelightfuldistractionfromthehumdrumofthedailygrind.
****
Eloise
Aftermyrelaxingbath,Iclimbedintobedwithmylaptopandbeganeditingsomeof
the engagement photos I took, for I promised the happy couple that I would have them
ready by Monday. As I edited the pictures and stared at the images that so profoundly
captured their happiness, my mind began to wander about the last two dates I’d had.
Financialguydidn’tworkoutbecauseIcouldn’tgetawordinedgewisebeneathallthe
financialadvicehespewed.Soulmateguydidn’tworkbecausehewouldn’tshutthefuck
upabouthowinlovewithmehewasandthethoughtthatweshouldgetmarried.Maybe
Matchwasn’tagoodwaytodomyresearch.Isentatextmessagetotherestofthefive
guys,unapologeticallycanceledourdates,andthenproceededto#Deletetheirassesfrom
myphone.
****
NataliesatontheedgeofmybedasIsatonthefloorinfrontofmyfull-lengthmirror
andappliedmymakeup.
“I’mproudofyouforcancellingthosedates.Ididn’tthinkyoucouldgothroughwith
it,”shespoke.
“It’snotthatIcouldn’tgothroughwithit.”Ilookedatheraftermeticulouslyapplying
myeyeliner.“Theyweren’ttherightguystointerview.”
“Thenwhoaretherightguystointerview?”Shenarrowedhereyeatme.
“TheonesI’mgoingtorandomlymeetatbars,clubs,coffeeshops,etc.”
She let out a light laugh. “What are you going to do? Walk up to them with your
notebookandpenandaskthemwhythey’resuchdouchebags?”
“Prettymuch.”Igrinned.
“Jesus,Eloise.YourissuesgobeyondanythingIimagined.”
“Actually,Ionlyhaveoneissueandthatistryingtogetinsidetheheadofaman.”
“Goodluckwiththat.Andwhenareyougoingtodothis?You’rebookedbacktoback
withphotoshootsforthenexttwoweeks.”
“Icancarveoutsometime.Afterall,Ididhavefivemoredatessetup.”Iwinked.
Shegotupfromthebedandgrabbedherpurse.
“Well,keepmepostedandhavefuntonightwithClaire.Trytokeepyourinterviewsto
aminimum.Youwouldn’twanttoembarrassherandhaveherco-workersthinkingyou’re
afewstacksshortofmentalstability.”
“Thanks.”Iscrunchedupmynoseather.
Asshebegantowalkoutoftheroom,shestoppedandturnedaround.
“Speakingofafewstacksshortofmentalstability,whothefuckisMobileMan?And
whyhaven’tyoutoldmeabouthim?”
IsighedasIrolledmyeyes.
“Shetoldyou?”
“Ofcourseshedid.ButtheproblemisthatYOUdidn’ttellme.”
“It’snobigdeal.He’sjustaguyI’vebeentalkingto.Twostrangerstextingeachother.
That’sit.”
“It’s weird, Eloise. You don’t know his name or anything about him, yet you talk to
him.Hecouldbesomemurdererorkidnapperforallyouknow.”
“He’s not.” I rolled my eyes. “He’s a nice guy. He’s in business and he’s always
attendingmeetings.”
“Whatdidyoutellhimyoudo?”sheaskedsuspiciously.
“ItoldhimIwasinthesocialmediarelationsbusiness.”
“LikeIsaid,afewstacksshortofmentalstability,”shesighed.
“GetoutofheresoIcanfinishgettingready.”Ithrewoneofmypillowsather.
Shegavemeaslysmileassheleftthebedroom.
****
ThecabpulleduptothetallbuildingonEast89
th
StreetandClaireandIclimbedout.
“Nicebuilding,”IspokeasIlookedupatit.
MyphonedingedwithatextmessageandwhenItookitfrommypurse,Inoticedit
wasfromMobileMan.
“Hithere.Irealizedwedidn’ttouchbasetoday.Everythinggood?”
ThedoormanopenedthedoorforusandClairetoldhimwewereherefortheChristian
Blakeparty.Hepolitelysmiledandtoldustotaketheelevatoruptothe29
th
floorandhe
wasinapartmentB.
“IsitweirdthatI’mreallynervous?”Claireaskedaswesteppedofftheelevator.
“Yes.Whywouldyoubenervous?He’syourboss.”
“Exactly!”Shelightlyhitmyarm.“He’smyboss!I’veneverseenhimoutsideofthe
office.”
“Calmdown.He’sjustapersonlikeyouandme,”IspokeasIknockedonapartmentB
andrepliedbacktoMobileMan.
“Hi!Everything’sgreat.Outwithmygirlfriendrightnow.You?”
“Goodtohear.It’sbeenquiteabusyday.Havingsomepeopleover.Catchyalater?”
“Catchyalater!”
Someguy,areallycuteguy,dressedinallblackwithblondewavyhairansweredthe
door.
“Hey,Claire.”Hesmiledashekissedhercheek.“Comeonin.”
“Hey,Peter.Thisismygirlfriend,Eloise.”
Webothlookedateachotherstrangely.
“IthinkIknowyou.”Hepointedatme.
“I feel as if I know you too.” I cocked my head but couldn’t for the life of me
rememberwherefrom.
“Waitaminute.You’rethatgirlfromHellcatAnnie’s.”Hesmiled.
Iglaredathimforamoment.Shit.
“Claire,who’syourboss?”Iasked.
“HisnameisChristianBlake.Why?”
Igulped.
“Hello,Claire,”hisvoicespokefrombehind.
“Christian.”Sheturnedaroundandhelightlykissedhercheek.
HiseyesdivertedtheirattentionovertowhereIwasstandingashelookedatmefrom
headtotoe.
“Eloise.”Hetookholdofmyhandandbroughtituptohislips.“It’snicetoseeyou
again.”
“Christian.”Igavealightnodandsmile.
Mystomachstartedtoflutterandmyskinstartedtoheat.
“Youtwoknoweachother?”Claireaskedinconfusion.
“EloiseandIbrieflymetatHellcatAnnie’snottoolongago.Ihadnoideashewasa
friendofyours.”
“AndIhadnoideahewasyourboss,”Ispoke.
“Okay.Wow.Thisisweird.Ineedadrink.I’llberightback.”Shewalkedaway.
“WouldyouhavecomeifyouhadknownIwasClaire’sboss?”Heslylysmiled.
A waiter walked by with a tray of champagne glasses sitting upon it. Taking one, I
smirked,“Idon’tknow.”
Hechuckledashetookasipofthedrinkhewasholding.
“Please excuse me. A friend of mine just walked in.” He placed his hand on my arm
anditfeltlikeitwentnumb.
I swallowed hard before bringing the tall glass of bubbly up to my lips. I couldn’t
believehewasClaire’sboss.Hissmile,hischarm,andoverallappearancemademeweak
intheknees.ButIneededtorememberthathewasaserialdater,accordingtoClaire.
“Whydidn’tyoutellmeyoumethim?”Shecameupbehindme.
“HowthehelldidIknowhewasyourboss?”
“Butyoudidn’teventellmethatsomeguyapproachedyouthatnight.”Shepouted.
“Itwasabriefencounter.Heboughtmeadrinkandaskedformynumber.”
“Andyoudidn’tgiveittohim?”sheaskedwithamazement.
“No.Becauseaccordingtoourdearfriend,Natalie,he’sthetypeIwouldfallforhead
overheelsinstantly.Plus,Igotthatwholeplayervibefeelfromhim.”
“Thatistrue.Hedoesdatedifferentwomenallthedamntime.Ihonestlydon’tknow
howhekeepsthemallstraight.I’llberightback.Oneofmyco-workersjustwalkedin.”
As Claire went off to talk to her co-worker, I walked around Christian’s apartment,
takinginathowlovelyitwas.Whatcaughtmyattentionwerethewhiteoakfloorswith
thesubtletintedbeigewallsthatmadethelivingspacelooklargerthanitreallywas.His
furniturewascoloredinblacksandbeiges,givingoffthemodernurbandécorstylevibe.
Walkingovertothethree-oversizedfloor-to-ceilingwindows,Itookinthedramaticcity
andriverviews,whichwerepicturesque.
“Beautifulview,isn’tit?”IheardChristian’svoicecomeupbehindme.
“Itdefinitelyis.”Ibroughtmychampagneglassuptomylips.“Sotellme,Mr.Blake,
howdoessomeoneyouragehavehisownadvertisingfirm?”
“Well,”hesmiled,“mypartnersandIhavetalkedaboutowningourownfirmsincewe
werekids.”
“Yourpartners?”Icockedmyhead.
“Yes.PeterandJimmy.Westartedourfirm,BlakeGroup,threeyearsago.”
“Pleasetellmeifthisistoopersonal,butifyou’reallpartners,whyisyournamethe
onlyoneonthedoors?”
Hechuckled.“That’sbecauseIputupthemajorityofthemoneyforthecompanyafter
mygrandfatherdied.”
“Ah.Isee.”Ilightlysmiled.“FromwhatIcantell,yourcompanyseemstobedoing
verywellforonlyopeningitsdoorsthreeyearsago.”
“Our company is doing extremely well. We’ve worked very hard and put in a lot of
blood,sweat,andtearstomakeithappenandasuccess.Alotofsacrificesweremade,but
nothingthatI’veregretted.Tellmeaboutyou.Whatdoyoudo?”
“I’mafreelancephotographer.”
“Interesting.”Hesmirked.“Whatdoyouphotograph?”
“Whateverpeoplehiremefor.”Ismirkedback.I’vedoneafewsmallmagazineshoots,
butmostlyit’sweddings,engagements,anniversaryparties,andbirthdays.”
“I’dlovetoseeyourworksomeday.”Thecornersofhismouthcurvedupwards.
I swallowed hard because every time he smiled, it sent my body into a blaze of fire.
Thiswasnotgood.Notgoodatall.
Eloise
Ifinishedoffmysecondglassofchampagneandtookanotherasthewaiterwalkedby.
Christianarchedhisbrowatmeandthenlookedathiswatch.
“You’vebeenherethirtyminutesandthat’syourthirdglassofchampagne.”
“Yeah.Well.It’sjustsogood.”Iwinked.
“Christian,canyoucomeoverhereforamoment?”ayoungmanaskedasheheldhis
handup.
“I’llberightback.”Hesmiledashelightlytouchedmyarm.
IlookedaroundforClaire.Damnherforleavingmelikethis.Pullingmyphonefrom
mypurse,IsentatextmessagetoNatalie.
“YouarenevergoingtobelievewhosehouseI’mat.”
“Aren’tyouatthatpartywithClaire?”
“Yes.Doyouknowwhoherbossis?”Itypedwithrapidfingers.
“No,shouldI?”
“ChristianBlake!”
“HowdoIknowthatname?”
“The guy from Hellcat Annie’s that bought me a drink and then asked for my phone
number!Theoneyousaidtostayawayfrombecausehewasaplayerandyoucouldsee
metotallyfallingforhim!”
“Ohshit!Omg!He’sherboss?”
“YES.We’vebeentalking.He’ssofuckinghotandseemsreallynice.”
“No,Eloise!#DELETE!Idon’twanttoseeyougodownthatroadagain.Clairesaid
herselfhe’saserialdater.He’sthetypethatwon’tcommittoanyone.You’lldateacouple
times,getyourhopesup,he’llstoptextingorcalling,you’llgetallpissedoffandupset
andthenwe’llhavetopickyouupandputyoubacktogetheragain.MenlikeChristian
Blakearenotoriousforthat.”
“You’reright.Buthe’sshowinginterest.”
“Ofcourseheis!You’redropdeadgorgeous,butIcanguaranteeyouheonlywants
onethingandyouknowexactlywhatI’mtalkingabout!”
“You’reright,”Irepliedwithasademoji.“He’scomingbackmyway.I’lltalktoyou
later.”
Idownedtherestofmychampagneandthatlastgulphitme.Whydidn’tIeatbeforeI
camehere?
Hewalkedovertomewithapanty-meltingsmilethatsentaweaknesstomyknees.
“Youdrankthatfast.”Hegrinned.
“It’ssogood.Icouldn’thelpit.”Ilookedhimupanddown.
“Issomethingwrong?”heasked.
“No.Why?”Icockedmyhead.
“It’sjustthewayyoulookedatme.”
“You’reanincrediblyattractiveman.I’msureallthewomenlookatyoulikethat.”
Hestoodthereforamoment,hiseyesburningintomine.Heslowlybroughthishand
upandplaceditonmycheek.
“AndIthinkyouareaverybeautifulwoman.”
Icouldfeeltheheatrisethroughoutmyface.Hishandwassoftassilk,andhistouch
frozemeinplace.
“Thankyou,”Imuttered.“Couldyoupleasetellmewhereyourbathroomis?”
“I’llshowyou.”Hesmiled.
Hegrabbedholdofmyhandandledmethroughthelivingroomanddownthehallway.
“Lookslikesomeoneisusingit,”hespoke.“Youcanusetheoneupstairs.”
Stillholdingmyhand,heledmeupthestairsandtothefirstdoorontheleft.
“Thankyou.”MylipsgavewaytoasmallsmileasIwentintothebathroomandshut
thedoor.
Mybodywastinglingfromheadtotoe.Afterwashingmyhandsandlookingatmyself
inthemirror,Itookinadeepbreathandopenedthedoor,onlytofindChristianstanding
therewaitingforme.Oureyeslockedoneachother’sandsuddenly,hislipswerepressed
into mine. Soft, subtle, invigorating. I returned his kiss and then he looked at me. He
leaned in for another and I willingly let him. His tongue met mine as our lips moved in
sync. The hand that was softly placed on my cheek moved to the nape of my neck,
intensifyingtheliplockwewerein.Heslowlybeganpushingmebackintothebathroom.
Shit.Weweregoingtohavesex,andatthispoint,Ididn’tcare.Thealcoholfuckedwith
allmysensesofwhatwasrightandwhatwaswrong.Thiswasdefinitelyawrong,butI
wastoodeepintothefeelingofhishandsallovermybodytocare.Hekickedthedoor
shutwithhisfootandreachedhishandbackandlockedit.
His fingers hooked around the thin straps to the dress I was wearing, and with ease,
pushedthemoffmyshoulders,lettingmydressfalltotheground.Myhandsfumbledwith
the buttons on his shirt as the heated moment made my heart race with anticipation of
seeinghisnakedbody.Withonehand,heunclaspedmystraplessbrawitheaseandtossed
ittotheside.Hishandsgropedmybreastsasourlipsstayedlockedtogether.Softmoans
escaped both of us at the same time as his hand traveled down my torso and into my
panties.Thelightsweepofhisfingersacrossmywetzonemademegasp.
Ifumbledwithhisbeltasheslippedoffmypanties.Breakingourkiss,hetookastep
backandstaredatmewhileheunbuttonedhispantsandslidthemoffhiships.Holyshit,
hisbodyrockedinalltherightplaces.Toned,muscular,perfect.Hiscock,long,big,but
nottoobig,stoodtallandproudinfrontofme.Myheartracedatthespeedoflightashe
removed his wallet from his pants and took out a condom. After rolling it on, his hands
claspedmyhipsandheliftedmeuponthecounter.Ourlipsmetagainwithpleasureand
myhandsroamedoverhisbody.Inonethrust,hewasinsideme,mypussytakinghimin
inchbyinch.Ithrewmyheadbackatthepleasureashislipsexploredmyneck.Mylegs
wrappedtightlyaroundhimashedeepenedhimselfinsideme.Hishipsmovedbackand
forth, while his cock hit every pleasure station. The buildup was coming and I found
myself standing at the edge of a cliff waiting for the moment to take the leap into
euphoria.Iquietlymoanedsonoonewouldhearasdidhewhilehethrustinandoutof
me. My orgasm erupted and his mouth smashed into mine to quiet the feral sounds that
escapedme.Tighteningmylegs,mybodyreleaseditselftohim,givingupallthepleasure
Ihadstoredupinsideme.Hesloweddownasgroanseruptedinhischestandhehaltedas
hecame,pushingdeepinsideasmynailsdugintoback.
Hepulledoutofmeanddisposedofthecondominthewastebasket.Hoppingoffthe
counter,Ialmostfellduetotheintenseshakingofmylegs.
“Areyouokay?”Christianaskedashelightlygrabbedholdofmyarm.
“I’mfine.Justalegcramp.”Ilightlysmiled.
Afterputtingonourclothes,heturnedtomeandplacedhishandonmycheek.
“Iwanttoseeyouagain.”Histhumbsoftlystrokedmyskin.
IneededtoplayitcoolinfrontofhimandittookeverybitofpostsexstrengthIhadto
remaincomposed.
“I’mthinkingthisisaone-timething.We’dbeendrinkinganditjusthappened.So,I
thinkit’sbestthatwedon’tseeeachotheragain.”
“You’renotserious,”hespoke.
“Oh, I am, Mr. Blake. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to leave. I’m sure Claire is
lookingforme.”
“CanIatleastgetyourphonenumber?”heaskedasIopenedthebathroomdoor.
“No.I’msorry.LikeIsaidbefore,I’mnotreadytodateanyonerightnow.”
I walked out of the bathroom, practically hyperventilating, and scurried to the front
door. Taking the elevator down to the lobby, I ran out as fast as I could. Once the fresh
crispairhitmylungs,Ileanedagainstthebrickwallandplacedmyhandsonmyhead.I
hadneverdonewhatIjustdid.I’dneversleptwithamanIdidn’tknowandI’dneverhad
aone-nightstand.Allkindsoffeelingsandemotionswerecoursingthroughmybody.For
fucksake,whydidhehavetobesosexyandsuperbatsex?Sexwaswhathewasafter
and I willingly gave in to him. How stupid could I be? Shaking my head, I pulled my
phonefrommypurseandsentatextmessagetoClaire.
“Hey,I’mnotfeelingwell,soI’mgoingtogohome.”
“What’swrong?”
“IfeelnauseaandIhaveaheadache.Ithitmeoutofnowhere.Talktomorrow?”
“Ofcourse.Feelbetter.Ifyouneedanything,callme.”
Iwalkeddownthestreetandhailedacabhome.Ifeltthisoverwhelmingneedtotext
MobileMan.
“Hi.I’mhavingabadnight.”
“Youandmeboth.Youokay?”
“Yeah.I’mfine.Justoneofthosenightswhereeverythingseemstogowrong.”
“Funny you should say that because I feel the same way,” he replied. “I’ll text you
later.I’minthemiddleofsomething.Okay?”
“Okay.Catchyalater!”
“Catchyalater,Digits!”
As soon as the cab pulled up to my building, I handed the driver some cash and
climbedout.Insteadofgoinginsideanduptomyapartment,Iwalkedaroundtheblockto
Didjo’s,apopularbarwhereI’dgoandsitwhenIneededtothink.
“Hey,Eloise.”Charliesmiledashesetanapkindowninfrontofme.“Usual?”
“Hi,Charlie.Yes,please.”
He perfectly made my cosmopolitan and set it down. Picking up the glass, I took a
largesip.
“Youokay?”heasked.“Youseemofftonight.”
“Sure.Ifyoucallhavingsexwithatotalstrangerinhisbathroomandthenrunningout
likeafrightenedchildokay,thenIam.”
Hechuckled.
“Ah.Isee.Thegoodoldwalkofshame.”
“I’dneverdonethewalkofshamebefore.”Ifinishedoffmydrink.“Another,please.”
“Chalkituptoalifeexperience.Everyonehastodoitatleastonceintheirlifetime,”
hespokeashemademeanothercosmopolitan.“Nobigdeal.”
Istaredathim.Hewascute.Imean,Ialwaysknewhewascute,butthesuddenurgeto
askhimquestionsaboutwomenjoltedthroughme.
“Howoldareyou,Charlie?”Iasked.
“Twenty-eight.”Hesetmydrinkdowninfrontofme.
“I’msureyouhavealotofexperiencewithwomen.Right?”
“Sure.I’dsayso.”Hesmiledashewipeddownthecounter.
“WouldyoumindifIaskedyouafewquestions?”
“Gorightahead.”
Eloise
After interviewing Charlie, and three cosmopolitans later, I stumbled home. As I
approachedmyapartment,IheardNataliecallmynamefromdownthehall.
“Eloise?”
“Natalie?Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Sheheldupthebrownbagshewascarrying.
“Clairetoldmeyouleftthepartybecauseyouweresick,soIthoughtI’dswingbyand
bringyousomechickensoup.But,bythelooksofit,Idon’tthinkyou’resickatall.”She
walked up to me and placed her nose in front of my mouth. “You’ve been drinking
cosmopolitans.”
“So?”Iwalkedinsideandkickedoffmyshoes.
Shesetthebrownbagwiththesoupinitdownonthekitchencounter.
“Wherewereyou?”
“Didjo’saroundthecorner.”Iwalkedintomybedroomandshefollowedbehind.
“Why?WhydidyoutellClairethatyouweresickandhadtoleave?”
“Ididn’twanttobethere.”Istrippedoutofmyclothesandpulledmynightshirtfrom
mydrawer.
“Did something happen with Christian?” She took a seat on the edge of the bed and
narrowedhereyesatme.
“No.Whywouldyouthinkthat?”Iwentintothebathroomtowashmyface.
“Youscrunchedupyourface!You’relying!”sheexclaimed.
Forfucksakes,ifIdidn’ttellher,she’dneverstop.
“Wehadsexinhisbathroom,”Ispokeinawhisper.
“Whatdidyousay?”Shewalkedupbesidemeandrestedherhiponthecounter.
“WEHADSEXINHISBATHROOM!”Ishouted.
Shecuppedherhandoverhermouthindisbelief.
“Don’t.”Ipointedather.“Don’tlookatmewiththosejudgyeyes!”
Sheimmediatelyputherhandsup.
“Nojudgmenthere.But,ohmygod,Ican’tbelieveyoudidthat.Youdon’tevenknow
him.”
“Right.”Inoddedmyhead.“Likeyoushouldtalk.”Ipointedather.
“Hey. I own what I do. But it’s what I’ve always done. You, on the other hand, have
never fucked a guy you didn’t know. In fact, they’re lucky if you give in after the fifth
date.”
“I know.” I lowered my head as I placed my hands on the sink and took in a breath.
“I’mnotproudofwhatIdid.Believeme.Itjusthappened.”
Sheplacedherhandonmybackandbegantosoftlyrubit.
“Sometimes these things happen. He is definitely fuckable and gorgeous, so I don’t
blameyou.Didyoujustleavehisplaceafterithappened?”
“Yes.Icouldn’tstaythere.”
“Didyouatleastexchangephonenumbers?”
“He wanted it and I told him no. I said it was a one-time thing and it would never
happenagain.”
“Good for you. #Delete without actually having to delete him.” She smiled. “Don’t
overthinkwhathappened.”Shekissedmyhead.“Chalkituptoafewmomentsofgreat
sexandmovealong.You’refartoobusytogiveitanotherthought.”
“You’reright.”Isighed.“Alreadyforgotten.”
“Sureitis.”Shewinkedassheleftmyapartment.
AfterNatalieleft,Igrabbedabottleofwaterfromtherefrigeratorandretreatedtomy
bedroomforthenight.Ipluggedmyphonein,setitonthenightstand,andclimbedunder
thecovers.AsIlaythere,mymindwentintofullreplaymodeabouttheeventsoftonight.
Ididn’twanttorehashwhathadhappened.Iwantedtoforgetaboutit,butIcouldn’t.The
sexwastoogoodandsowasChristian.HewastheexacttypeofmanIwouldfallinlove
with.I’dalreadyfelttheconnectionbetweenusatHellcatAnnie’sand,tobehonest,my
intuition wasn’t saying a word to me. But men like him couldn’t commit to one woman
andhehadprovedthatwiththenumberofwomenhedatedeveryweek.
****
Christian
AshardasItriedtogoonwiththenightandentertainmyguests,Icouldn’tgetEloise
out of my head. Maybe I shouldn’t have had sex with her. Maybe I should have just
stopped at the kiss. But she wasn’t telling me to stop. Her body was perfection and the
feeling I got while I was buried deep inside her was a feeling I’d never experienced
before.Shit.Ineededtoapologizetoherforwhathappened.
“Hey,Claire,”IspokeasIlightlyplacedmyhandonhershoulder.“Isthereachance
youcangivemeEloise’snumber?”
Shelookedatmeinbewilderment.
“Umm.I’msorry,Christian,butIcan’t.Icanaskherifshewantsmetogiveittoyou.”
“Shewon’t.Shealreadytoldmenotonight.”
“Listen, she’s been hurt recently. Not only recently, but a lot, and she’s taking a step
backfromdating.”
“Ijustwanttotakeherouttodinnerandmaybegettoknowheralittlebetter.”
“Dinnerandgettingtoknowsomeoneusuallyequalsadate,andthat’ssomethingshe
doesn’twanttodorightnow.She’sgothercareerandthat’swhatshe’sfocusingon.”She
gavemeasmall,sympatheticsmile.
“Iunderstand.”Inodded.
“Thanksforinvitingme.Ihadagreattime.I’llseeyouonMonday,”shespoke.
“Haveagoodweekend.”Ikissedhercheek.
After everyone cleared out and the caterers cleaned up and left, I headed to my
bedroom.AsIclimbedintobed,Iheldmycellphoneinmyhandandpulledupmytext
messages.WasittoolatetotextDigits?Itwasmidnight,butshedidsayshewasoutwith
friends.
“Ihopeit’snottoolatetotextyou.”
“I’mawake,”sherepliedwithasmileyface.
“Didyoureveninggetanybetter?”
“Notreally.Howaboutyours?”
“Couldhavebeenbetter.”
“Somethinghappen?”
“Nah.Justgirlproblems.”
“Samehere,butsubstitutethegirlwithaguy.”
“Anotherdouchebag?”
“Ihaven’tdecidedyet.What’syourgirlproblem?Ifyoudon’tmindmeasking?”
“She’sjustsomeoneIwanttogettoknowbetter.”
“Thengoafterher.Youdoknowit’stheguy’sjobtochasethewoman.”
“Shewantsnothingtodowithme.”
“Thenshe’snotworththetroubleofgettingtoknow.”
“Perhapsyou’reright.I’llcatchyalater,Digits.I’mtired.Goodnight.”
“Catchyalater,MobileMan.Goodnight.”
MaybeEloisewasn’tworththetrouble,butIstillneededtoapologizetoher.
Eloise
Iturnedoffmyalarm,stumbledoutofbed,andmademywaytothekitchenforacup
ofcoffee.Ihadhopedthatsometimeduringthenight,thesensationthatflowedthrough
my body from Christian would cease. But it didn’t. After letting out a long yawn, I
grabbed my coffee and headed to the bathroom for a shower and to get ready for the
weddingIwasshootingtoday.ThethingIlovedaboutSundayweddingswasthefactthat
theywerealwaysintheafternoonandoverwithbyfiveo’clock.
Aftertheceremonyandphotoshootwiththebride,groom,andthebridalparty,itwas
time to head to the reception at Antun’s in Queens Village. As I was photographing the
guests,IwasstartledwhenIheardavoicecomeupfrombehindhim.
“Eloise?”
“Christian?”
MystomachtwistedinaballandawaveofheatsweptovermeasIturnedaround.
“You’rephotographingthiswedding?”heasked.
“Yeah.Whatareyoudoinghere?”Inervouslyasked.
“Thegroomisafriendofmine.Wow.Ican’tbelieveyou’restandinginfrontofme.I
reallyneedtotalktoyou.ItriedtogetyournumberfromClaire,butshewouldn’tgiveit
tome.”
“I’msorry,butI’mreallybusy.Idon’thavetimetotalk,”InervouslyspokeasIneeded
togetawayfromhim.
ThehumiliationIfeltaftertheeventsoflastnightwasoverwhelming.
“Afterthewedding,then.It’simportant.Please.”
“Christian,look—”
“Eloise,please,”hesoftlyspoke.
“Okay.Fine.Afterthewedding,butIonlyhaveafewminutes.”
“AfewminutesisallIneed.”
Hegavemeasmallsmileandwalkedaway.
Whatcouldhepossiblywanttotalktomeabout?Icouldbarelylookhimintheeye,let
alone carry on a conversation with him. Once the wedding came to an end and I said
goodbyetothebrideandgroom,IheadedoutthedoorandfoundChristiansittingonthe
edgeoftheretainerwallinfrontofthefountain.Itookinalong,deepbreathandwalked
overtohim.
“Hey.”
“Hi,”hespokeashestoodup.
“Sowhatdidyouwanttotalktomeabout?”Inervouslyasked.
“Ijustwantedtoapologizetoyouforlastnight.Ishouldn’thavecomeonsostrong.It
waswrongandI’msorry.”
Waitaminute.Washeactuallyapologizingforhavingsexwithme?
Ididn’tknowhowtorespond.Noguyhadeverdonethatbefore.Itwasatthatmoment
thatstupidfellfrommymouth.
“Don’tapologize.It’snotlikeItriedtostopyou.Iwasawillingpartner.”
“Still. It never should have happened and I just wanted to clear the air. I know how
upsetyouwereafterwards.AndClaireisyourfriend,whohappenstobeanemployeeof
mine.I’msurewe’llrunintoeachotherfromtimetotimeandIdon’twanttheretobeany
awkwardness.”
IsighedasItookaseatonthewallandhesatdownnexttome.
“It’snotthatIwasupset,Christian.WhathappenedissomethingIdon’teverdo.”
“Youdon’teverhavesex?”Hesmirked.
Iletoutalightlaugh.
“Ihavesex,justnotwithaguyIdon’tknow.GuysareluckyifIgiveituponthefifth
date.”
“Irespectthat.You,Eloise,areawomanofvalue.”
“Somevalue.”Irolledmyeyes.
“Shithappens.We’veallmademistakes.Don’tbeatyourselfupoverit.Ijustwantedto
apologize,that’sall.”
“Thankyou.Iappreciateit.Butyouseriouslyhavenoneedtoapologize.”
He got up from the wall and began to walk away. After placing his hands in his
pockets,hestoppedandslowlyturnedhishead.
“Fortherecord,I’mhappyIwasyourfirst.”Hewinked.
Asmallsmilecrossedmylips.
“Fortherecord,I’mnotconsideringitamistake,”Ispoke.
Hegavemeasmallsmileandwalkedaway.Ialreadyknewthekindofeffecthehadon
women.ItwasthesameeffectIfelt.WomenfellhardandfastforhimandifIgavehim
another thought, I would become one of those women. Hence the reason I couldn’t get
involvedwithhim.IpulledmyphonefrommypurseandsentatextmessagetoMobile
Man.
“How’syourday?”
“Funny,Iwasjustthinkingabouttextingyou.DayturnedoutbetterthanIthoughtit
would.Yours?”
“It’sgood.Reallygood.”Iinsertedasmileyface.
“Gladtohear.Anymoredatesscheduled?”
“Notyet,butI’mworkingonit.”Isentthewinkyface.
“You’llfindtherightguy.I’msureofit.”
“I’mnotlookingforaguyorarelationshiprightnow.Justsomeanswers.”
“??”
“Iwanttoknowaman’sthoughtprocesswhenitcomestopursuingawoman.”
“I’mnotsureIunderstand.”
“Iwanttoknowwhytheytakehoursordaystorespondtoatextmessage.Whydothey
suddenlygoMIAorghostawomanafterleadingheron?”
“Isee.MaybeIcanhelpyouwiththat.Weshouldmeetforadrink.”Heinsertedthe
smileyface.
“You’resmooth,MobileMan.Butallisgood.I’llgettheinformationIneed.”
“Sonodrink?”
“Nodrink.Doyoureallywanttoruinwhatwehavebyactuallymeetingeachother?
Don’tyouthinkthisisfun?Thetwoofusjustrandomlytalkingeverydaywithoutknowing
whotheotheris?”
“Iwilladmitit’sweird,Digits.ButI’mcoolwithit.Iliketalkingtoyou.”
“Iliketalkingtoyoutoo.”
“OnelastquestionandthenIhavetogo.Howoldareyou?”
Ididn’tseetheharmintellinghimmyage.Plus,itwouldbegoodtoknowhis.Whatif
he was some sixty-year-old man or something. Not that it would matter because I liked
talking to him. But it would be kind of weird to carry on a texting relationship with
someonethatold.
“I’mtwenty-five.Andyou?”
“Thirty.”
ThankGod.Hewasonlyafewyearsolderthanme.
“Haveagoodnight,myfriend,”Ireplied.
“Youtoo,Digits.Besafeandbehaveyourself.”
“Youtoo.Don’tgooutandbeadouchebagtosomepoorgirl.”
“Iwillkeepmydouchebaggerytoaminimum.”
IsmiledasIclosedoutofmymessagesandplacedmyphoneinmypurse.Itwastime
togohome,getchanged,andhitupthebartotryandmeetsomeguys.
Christian
As much as I hated to admit it, I felt this incredibly strong connection to Eloise, a
connectionIhadneverfeltbeforewithanywoman.PerhapsthiswastheconnectionI’d
beensearchingformyentiredatinglife.NotonlydidIfeelitthemomentIlaideyeson
heratHellcatAnnie’s,orthemomentwehadsexinmybathroom,butsittingonthewall
and talking to her made it even stronger. I couldn’t explain it and I didn’t want to think
aboutitanymore.Shewasn’tinterestedindatinganyone,andashardasitwas,Ineeded
torespectthat.Iwantedtoknowwhathappenedinherlastrelationshipandtherewasone
personwhocouldtellme.
The next morning, after grabbing some coffee and getting settled into work, I called
Claireintomyoffice.
“What’sup,Christian?”Shecheerfullysmiled.
“Haveaseat,please.IhaveaquestionaboutyourfriendEloise.”
Shesattherewithanarrowingeye.
“I’mnotsureIcanansweryourquestion,buttryme.”
Leaning back in my chair and bringing my ankle up to my knee, I spoke, “What
happenedinherlastrelationship?”
“Excuseme?”Shecockedherhead.
“I’massuminghehurtherprettybad.Badenoughthatshedoesn’twanttodateanyone
rightnow.”
“Youmeandateyou,right?”
“Meoranyoneelse.Isitjustmeshedoesn’twanttodate?”Icautiouslyasked.
“Toputyourmindatease,Christian,no,it’snotjustyou.Eloisedoesn’twanttodate
period.Asforherlastrelationship,itwasn’tevenarealrelationship.Sheandtheguyhad
beentalkingforafewmonths,wentoutacoupleoftimes,andthenhedecidedtheywere
gettingtooclose.Thatwasthestrawthatbrokethecamel’sbackforher.She’sneverbeen
luckyintherelationshipdepartment.Alltheguyssheattractsaretotalassholes.”
Iraisedmybrowather.“Includingme?”
“Oh,God,no.Ofcoursenot.It’sjustthetimingofthetwoofyoumeetingwaswrong.”
“Yeah.Maybeitwas.Thanks,Claire.”
“Sure.”Shenoddedwithasmallsmileasshegotupfromherseatandwalkedoutof
myoffice.
Ipickedupapenthatwaslyingonmydeskandstartedtwirlingitbetweenmyfingers.
AsmuchasIneededtorespectherdecisionaboutnotwantingtogooutwithme,giving
upwasn’tanoption.Tobehonest,Ididn’tevenknowwherethehellallthiswascoming
from.Ididn’tchasewomen.Theychasedme.ButEloisewasdifferent.AndeventhoughI
reallydidn’tknowher,shepossessedsomethingIcouldn’texplain.
****
Eloise
I didn’t get home until two a.m. Thank God, my photo shoot wasn’t until eleven
o’clock.NatalieandIhitupthreedifferentbarsandIgavemynumbertothreedifferent
guys.AsIwassittingonthecouchdrinkingmycoffeeandtryingtowakeup,myphone
dingedwithatextmessagefromMobileMan.
“Goodmorning.Howdidyourquestgolastnight?”
“Good morning. Three different guys have become my victims. Now to patiently wait
forthetextmessagestopourin.”
“Goodforyou,tiger!Justwantedtocheckin.Ihaveabusyday.Catchyalater?”
“Ihaveabusydayaswell.Catchyalater,MobileMan.”
Afterfinishingmycoffee,Iheadedintothebathroomtotakeashowerandgetready
for my photo shoot. Today’s shoot was for Vibe magazine, photographing their spring
collectionfornextyear.Theyhadaregularphotographertheyused,buthehadafamily
emergencyandhadbeeninEuropeforthepastmonth,sotheycalleduponmetotakehis
placeuntilhecameback.IhadaboutthirtyminutesuntilIneededtogetreadytoleave,so
IopenedmylaptopandstartedtolookforsomeotherbarsIcouldhituptonight.WhileI
wasresearching,anadpoppedupforasinglesmixeroverattheLoewsHotel,whichwas
beingheldtomorrownight.Whydidn’tIthinkofsomethinglikethatsooner?Myfingers
startedtypingawayintheGooglesearchbar:SingleMixersinNewYorkCity.Jackpot!
There was Date & Dash, Weekend Dating, Flirt Fete, Eight at Eight, and a lot more
festivitiesaroundthecity.Excitementovertookme.AsmuchasIwantedmyfriendstogo
withme,Icouldn’taskthemsincetheywerealreadyinrelationships.ExceptforNatalie,
butshewasgettingreadytoleaveonatripwithhermomtoHawaii.So,Iwouldbegoing
solo.
IsentthemodelsonabreakabouthalfwayintotheshootbecauseIcouldtelltheywere
getting tired and hungry. Pulling my phone from my purse, I noticed I had three text
messages.AllfromtheguysImetlastnight.
Frank: “Hi there! It was great meeting you last night. Are you free for dinner this
week?”
Ron:“Eloise,it’sRonfromlastnight.Youupforadrinklater?”
Mark:“Hi.Itwasgreatmeetingyoulastnight.Drinksanddinnersometimesoon?”
Iimmediatelyrepliedtoallthreemessages.
“HiFrank,I’mavailabletomorrownight.Sayseveno’clockatTavernontheGreen?”
IfIplayedmycardsright,IcouldsqueezeinadrinkwithRonanddinnerwithMarkin
thesamenight.
Hi,Ron.DrinkstonightatDidjo’s?Aroundsixo’clock?Ionlyhaveacoupleofhours.”
Ron:“I’llmeetyouthere.Acoupleofhoursisgoodtostart.Seeyouatsix.”
Hi,Mark.Itwasgreatmeetingyoutoo.I’mavailabletonightfordinner.Whydon’twe
doTavernontheGreenateight-thirty?Thatway,I’llhavetimetogetreadyafterwork.”
Mark:“Icandotonightateight-thirty.Seeyouthen.”
I smiled as I closed out of my messages. See what I did there? I didn’t give them a
choice. I took control, which only gave them about ten seconds to think about it. If I
wouldhaveletthemchoosetheday,time,andplace,itwouldhavegiventhemtoomuch
timetothinkandthepossibilityofapromptdatewouldhavedecreased.
After the photo shoot ended, I looked at my watch and it was five o’clock. It would
takemeatleastahalfhourtogethome,whichmeantIonlyhadabouttwentyminutesto
getreadytomeetRon.AsIwasrunningthebrushthroughmylongbrownhair,myphone
dingedwithatextmessagefromMobileMan.
“Goodevening.Howwasyourday?”
“Busy,butgood.Howwasyours?”Iasked.
“Alsobusy,butnottoobad.Plansfortonight?”
“Actually,Ihavetwodates.”
“Two?Whatareyoudoing?Seeingthematthesametime?”
“LOL.No.IhavedrinkswithRonatsixanddinnerwithMarkateight-thirty.”
“Ah. You’re quite the little lioness, going after her prey. I sort of feel sorry for these
guys.”
“They’llbefine.It’sallinthenameofresearch.”
“I can still help you with your research. Where are you meeting this Ron guy for
drinks?”
“Wouldn’tyoulovetoknow?ThelastthingI’dneedisyoucominguptousandtelling
himhowyou’retheguyItexteverysingleday.”
“Itwouldbefun,though.”
“Whatareyoudoingtonight?”
“Goingtoastripclubformyfriend’sthirtiethbirthday.”
“Ah,lotsoftitsandassforyoutonight.”
“Iguessso.”Hesentthewinkyface.“Havefunonyourdatestonight.Ineedtojump
intheshower.”
“I will. Thanks. You too. Do me a favor and don’t pay extra to have sex with one of
thosestrippers.Godknowswhatyou’llcatch.”
“Lol. I wouldn’t touch any of them anyway. They aren’t my type. Catch ya later,
Digits.”
“Catchyalater,MobileMan.”
Eloise
Drinks with Ron was interesting and dinner with Mark was very informative. Both
seemedlikeniceguys.Ididn’twanttooverloadthemwithquestionsrightoffthebat,soI
discreetlysnucktheminwhentheopportunitywasright.BytimeImadeithome,itwas
eleventhirtyandIwasexhausted.
KickingoffmyheelstheminuteIsteppedinsidemyapartment,Iwentstraighttomy
bedroomandchangedintomynightshirt.ThewholetimeIwaswiththoseguys,Christian
wormed his way into my mind. In fact, he was on my mind more than he should have
been.Itwasn’tjustthesexIkeptthinkingabout,itwastheconversationwehadafterthe
weddingandthewayheapologizedtome.Doesamanevendothat?Hedidandhewas
sincere.IsenseditandIcouldtellbyhisbodylanguageandhistone.Maybegivinghima
chancewouldn’tbesobad?No.Noway.Iwasn’treadytogodownthatroadagain.
Igrabbedmylaptopandclimbedintobed.Aftergettingmyselfsituated,Idecidedto
checkmyemailformyblog.MyeyesjustaboutpoppedoutofmyheadwhenIsawthatI
had over a hundred messages from the past couple of days from women asking
relationship questions and seeking answers. As I was reading a few of them over, my
phonedingedwithatextmessagefromMobileMan.
“Iknowit’slateandI’msorry.Howdidyourdatesgo?”
“It’sokay.I’mstillup.Theywereveryinformative.Howwasthestripclub?”
“Likeanyotherstripclub.Iwanttomeetyou,Digits.”
“You’redrunk,MobileMan.”
“Maybealittle.Okay,maybealot.IthinkI’mdrunktextingyou.”
“Gotosleepandwe’llchattomorrow.”
I waited for a reply that never came. He must have passed out. Rolling my eyes, I
continuedtoreadacouplemoreemailsbeforedriftingofftosleep.
****
The next morning as I was sitting on the couch editing some wedding photos, my
phonedingedwithatextmessagefromClaire.
“Lunchtoday?”
“Sure.Whattime?”
“Noon.Cometotheadvertisingagencyandpickmeup.”
“Idon’tthinkthat’ssuchagoodidea.”
“Why?”
“BecauseIreallydon’twanttorunintoChristian.”
“Hewon’tbehere.Hehasaclientmeetingacrosstownateleventhirty.”
“Okay.SendmetheaddressandI’llseeyouatnoon.”
AsIwassittinginthebackofthecabonmywaytopickupClaire,Idecidedtosend
MobileManatextmessage.
“How’sthehangover?”
“HowdoyouknowI’mhungover?”
“Youcelebratedabirthdayatastripclub.You’rehungover.”
“You’rerightandI’msorryIdidn’trespondlastnight.Ipassedout.”
“Ifigured.Didyoubringhomeanystripperswithyou?”
“Nah.Noneofthemwereinterested.”Hesentthewinkyface.
“Why?Wereyouusingyourdouchebaggerymovesonthem?”
“I’mnotsure.Idon’tremember,lol.”
Assoonasthecabpulleduptothecurbof2765
th
Avenue,Ipaidthefare,climbedout,
andsteppedintotheforty-one-storybuilding.Takingtheelevatoruptothethirtiethfloor,I
steppedoutandwasgreetedbyayoungblondewomanwithbrightredlips.
“Goodafternoon,welcometoBlakeGroup.HowmayIhelpyou?”Sheproudlysmiled.
“Hi.I’mheretoseeClaire—”
BeforeIcouldgetherlastnameout,Iheardhervoicecomingfromtheoppositeway.
“Good,you’rehere.JustgivemeasecondwhileIgrabmypurse.”Shesmiled.
She walked past me and I glanced down at my phone, replying to Christian’s text
message.
“Youprobablydidn’tofferthemenoughmoney.”Isentthesmileyface.
“Ihopenot.I’musuallyaverygenerousguy.”
Iletoutalightlaugh.
“Soyoupaytopdollarforsex?”
“Sweetheart,Idon’thavetopayforsex.Womangiveituptomeforfree.”
I smiled, and as I looked up to see if Claire was coming, I saw Christian heading
towardmewithhisphoneinhishand.
“Eloise.Whatanicesurprise.”Hesmiled.
My stomach started to flip in a million different ways, causing an overwhelming
nervousnesstoerupt.
“Hi,Christian.”
“Howareyou?”heaskedashiseyesstaredintomine.
“I’mgood.Andyou?”
“Good.AreyouhereforClaire?”
“Umm.Yeah.We’regoingtolunch.”
“Haveanicelunch.”Hesmiled.“IhaveameetingacrosstownIhavetogetto.Itwas
goodseeingyouagain,Eloise.”
“Youtoo,Christian.”Ipolitelysmiled.
“Youready?”Claireaskedasshewalkedup.
“Youtoldmehewouldn’tbehere!”IspokethroughgrittedteethasIhookedmyarm
aroundhers.
“Hismeetingjustgotpushedbackrightbeforeyougothere.Ididn’thavetimetowarn
you.Bytheway,whatthehellisgoingon?”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
WesteppedoutofthebuildingandwalkeddowntoAiFioribecauseClairewasinthe
moodforItalian.
“WhyareyoubehavinglikethattowardsChristian?Ireallydon’tunderstanditatall.I
mean,Iknowheaskedforyournumberandhe’sinterestedinyou,butyoudon’thaveto
avoid him like the plague. I already told him that you’ve been hurt a lot and you’re
steppingawayfromthedatingsceneforawhile.”
“What?!Whendidyoutellhimthat?”
“The Monday after his party. He called me into his office and wanted to know about
yourpreviousrelationship.Oops.MaybeIshouldn’thavetoldyouthat.”Shebitdownon
herbottomlip.
“AndyoutoldhimthatIhavehadnothingbutonefailedrelationshipafteranother?”I
narrowedmyeyeather.
“Ididn’tsaythat.Ijustsaidyouhaven’tbeenluckyintherelationshipdepartment.”
“Ugh.Claire!”
“What?”
IswallowedhardbecauseIwasabouttotellherthatIsleptwithherboss.Iwasn’tsure
howshewasgoingtotakeit,butshehadtoknow.
“Wefuckedinhisbathroom.”
Sheletoutaroaringlaugh.
“I’msorry,IswearyoujustsaidyouandChristianfuckedinhisbathroom.”
Iloweredmyheadanddidn’tsayaword.
“Whatthefuck,Eloise!Isthatwhyyouranoutoftheresofast?”
Islowlynoddedmyhead.
“HowthehelldidthathappenandwherewasI?OhmyGod,yousleptwithmyboss!”
“Itjustdid.Heshowedmewherethebathroomwasupstairsandthenhewaswaiting
formewhenIwasdone.Itjusthappenedandbelieveme,I’mstillinshockatmyselffor
letting it. But, I ran into him the next day at the wedding I was photographing and he
apologizedtome.”
“Apologized?Forwhat?Havingsexwithyou?”
“Yes.”
“Whatmandoesthat?”Herbrowsfurrowed.“Listen,Eloise,youknowIloveyouto
piecesandItotallyrespectwhatyou’redoingforyourblog,butmaybeyoushouldgive
Christianachance.There’sobviouslyastrongconnectionbetweenthetwoofyou.”
“Andlookatwhereconnectionshavegottenmebefore.Thatdoesn’tmeanshit,Claire.
Yes, two people can have a connection, but it doesn’t stop men from being jerks. It all
comes down to a woman’s self-worth and value, and the more women put up with men
behavingbadly,thelowertheirself-esteemgets.Weshouldn’thavetoplaygamesorbe
putthroughtheringerwiththeseguys.”
“Iagree.Butmaybe,justasmallmaybe,”shepinchedherfingerstogether,“Christian
isdifferent.Youcouldalwaysjusttryhimandthen#Deletehisass.Isn’tthatwhatyou’re
promoting?”
“Yes. But I’m not in any position right now to even be thinking about #Deleting
someone.I’mfartoobusywiththeblogandmywork.Ohshit.”Ipulledmyphonefrom
mypurse.
“What?”Claireasked.
“Holdon.IhavetosendatextbacktoMobileMan.”
Shesighedandrolledhereyesasshesippedherglassofwine.
“Actually,itdoescostyou.Youtakethemtodinner,drinks,andmaybeamovie.That
costsmoney.Sothesexisn’ttotallyfree,darling.”
“IwasstartingtothinkIscaredyouoff.”
“Lol,sorry.I’moutandabout.I’msureyou’rebusywithwork.Catchyalater?”
“Catchyalater,Digits.”
“FOCUS!”Claireloudlyvoicedasshepointedtoherself.
Christian
FocusingonmymeetingwashardsinceIsawEloisestandinginthelobbyofmyfirm.
She looked as beautiful as ever and the moment I saw her, that night in my bathroom
started to play in my mind. I couldn’t forget her. No matter how hard I tried, she was
alwaysinmyhead.
WhenIarrivedbacktotheoffice,IwalkedovertoClaire’scubicleandaskedhowher
lunchwas.
“Itwasgood,Christian,”shespokeasshegavemeastrangelook.
“Good.I’mhappytohearthat.”Ituckedmyhandsinmypantspockets.
“Isthatall?”sheaskedasshecockedherhead.
“Yeah.”Inodded.
Iwalkedawayandwentintomyoffice.Pullingmyphonefrommypocket,InoticedI
hadatextmessagefromVictoria.
“Hey,handsome.Ihaven’theardfromyouinafewdays.Arewestillonfortonight?”
Shit.ItotallyforgotIhadsetupadatewithher.
“Hi.Sorryaboutthat.Workhasbeencrazy.Yes,wearestillonfortonight.Whydon’t
wemeetatTavernontheGreenatseveno’clock?”
“Soundslovely.I’llseeyouthen.”
Sighing,Isetmyphonedownandturnedtomycomputer.
“Whatwasthatsighfor?”Peteraskedashewalkedintomyoffice.
“AdateIforgotIsetupfortonight.”
“Who’stheluckygirl?”Hesmirkedashetookaseatacrossfrommydesk.
“Victoria.”
“Isn’tshethechickyoumetthatnightattheartgallery?”
“No.Thatwassomeoneelse.”
Heslowlyshookhishead.“Dude,Ican’tkeepup.Whathappenedwiththeartgallery
chick?”
“Nothing. We had dinner and I couldn’t get away from her fast enough. She was
annoying.”
Just as Peter was going to say something, my phone dinged with a text message.
Glancingoveratit,IlookedatPeter.
“Great.It’sher.”Irolledmyeyes.
“YousaidyouweregoingtocallmeandI’mstillwaiting.Whatisgoingon?Ithought
our dinner went well. I thought we connected. Why haven’t you called me for another
date?”
“Well,”Peterspoke.“Whatdidshesay?”
“ShewantstoknowwhyIdidn’tcallherlikeIsaidIwasgoingto.”
“Don’trespond.Ihatechickslikethat.”
“Itwouldberudeofmenotto.I’lljustsimplytellherthatI’vebeenbusywithwork.”
“Bro,ifyoudothat,thenshe’llbeallupyourass.Silenceisabetterformofrejection.”
“Iguessyou’reright.Idon’thavetimetodealwithheranyway.”Isetmyphonedown.
“StillthinkingaboutthatEloisegirl?”heasked.“Isawherinthelobbyearlier.What
wasshedoinghere?”
“ShewasmeetingClaireforlunch.”
“I know what your problem is.” He pointed at me. “You’re so enthralled with her
becausesheturnedyoudown.Youwantwhatyoucan’thave.”
“That’snottrue,Peter.I’mattractedtoherinawayIhaveneverbeenattractedtoany
otherwomanbefore.”
“Becausesheturnedyoudown.”Hecockedhishead.
Itwasn’twortharguingwithhimoverit.Hewasgoingtobelievewhathewantedto,so
Ijustdecidedtogoalongwithit.
“Yeah.Maybeyou’reright.Maybetheappealtoherisbecausesheturnedmedown.”
“Thereyougo,man.”Hepointedatmeashegotupfromhisseat.“Nowforgetabout
herandenjoyyourdatewithVictoriatonight.”
Igavehimasmallsmileasheexitedmyoffice.
****
Eloise
When I returned home, I set my purse on the table, grabbed my laptop, and resumed
editing the wedding photos before I had to get ready for my date with Frank. As I was
diligentlyworking,myphonedingedwithatextmessagefromhim.
“Hey,I’mnotgoingtobeabletomakeourdatetonight.Somethingcameup.Another
time?”
Isatthereandglaredatthetextmessagebeforeme.Hislackofexplanationandonly
stating “something came up” was a lie. And his “another time” was code for “we aren’t
evergoingonadate.”ButIdecidedtoplayalongandseewhatexactlythisassholewas
upto.
“Bummer.Iwaslookingforwardtoseeingyou,butItotallyunderstand.Thingscome
upallthetime.Whenareyoufreeagain?”
“ImaybeavailableThursdaynight.I’llhavetocheckmyscheduleandgetbackwith
you.”
“Okay.I’mfreeThursday.Ifyoucan’tdodinner,maybewecanmeetforlunch.”
“I’llcheckitoutandletyouknow.Again,I’msorryIhadtocanceltonight.”
“Noproblem.”
MyasshewassorryandIcouldguaranteethatIwouldn’thearfromhimagain.Iwent
backtoeditingthephotoswhenmyphonedingedagain.Thistime,itwasfromanumberI
didn’trecognize.Openingthetext,IrolledmyeyesasIreadit.
“What’sup?”
“What’supismewonderingwhothisis?”Ireplied.
“Really?It’sEddie.”
Ah,EddieFischer.TheguywhomIhadn’theardfromforapproximatelyeightmonths.
The same guy who took me out on four dates, constantly text messaged me, and then
—poof—disappearedwithoutatrace,AKAghostedme.
“Ithoughtyoudied.”IsmiledasIhitthesendbutton.
“Lol.Whywouldyouthinkthat?”
“Gee,Idon’tknow,maybebecauseit’sbeeneightmonthssinceI’veheardfromyou.I
figuredyougotintosomekindofaccidentandwereburiedsixfeetunder.”
“That’s weird, Eloise. I’ve been really busy with work. I started a new position that
tookupallofmytime.”
“Goodforyou,Eddie.Sowhyareyoutextingme?”
“I thought maybe we could meet up for dinner and a movie; resume getting to know
eachotherbetter.”
“That’sniceofyou,butthetimetogettoknoweachotherbetterhasexpired.Bye.”
I smiled as I deleted his text message and continued with my work. After I finished
withthelastphoto,Iwentintothekitchentothrowsomethingtogetherfordinner.WhileI
wascuttingupsomevegetablesforastirfryandlisteningtosomemusiconmyphone,a
textmessagecamethroughfromMobileMan.
“Gettingreadyforyourdate?”
“Mywonderfuldatecancelledonme,soI’mjustgoingtoenjoyanicequieteveningat
home.”
“Hesucks.Whydidhecancel?”
“Heclaimssomethingcameup.”
“Ouch.Thatusuallyindicateshechangedhismindorgotabetteroffer.”
“Iknow.We’resupposedtosetupsomethingforThursday,butIdoubtI’llhearfrom
himagain.”
“I’msorry.”Hesentthesadfaceemoji.
“Don’tbe.Iwasonlyusinghimforresearchanyway.I’mjustgoingtomakemyselfa
stirfryfordinneranddosomework.”
“Ilikestirfry.MaybeIcancomeoverandkeepyouandyourstirfrycompany.” He
sentthewinkyface.
“I’m my own good company. But thanks for the offer. What are your plans for
tonight?”
“Ihaveadate.”
“Soundslikefun.Who’stheluckylady?”
“It could be a girl I call Digits, but she refuses to meet me, so I have to settle for a
womannamedVictoria.”
“Lol.I’msureyou’llhaveanicetime.”
“Perhaps.I’llcatchyalater,Digits.”
“Don’tbeadouchebag,MobileMan.Catchyalater.”
IsmiledasIsetmyphonedownonthecounterandcontinuedcookingmystirfry.
Christian
Isatontheedgeofmybedstaringdownatmyphone.Icouldn’tstopthinkingabout
Eloise.IpulledupVictoria’snumberandgaveheracall.
“Hello,”sheanswered.
“Victoria,it’sChristian.I’mstuckatworkwithahugeproblem,soI’mgoingtohave
tocancelourdatefortonight.I’msorry.”
“Damnyou,Christian.Iwasreallylookingforwardtoseeingyou.”
“IknowandI’msorry.Itcan’tbehelped.”
“Iunderstand.Callmesoonandwe’llsetsomethingup.”
“Iwill,andthanksforunderstanding,Victoria.I’llbeintouch.”
“Noproblem.Justdon’ttakeaslongnexttime.”
“Haveagoodnight.”
“Youtoo,Christian.”
IletoutasighofreliefandsentatextmessagetoDigits.
“Howaboutatextdatetonight?”
“Huh?”Shesenttheconfusedface.
“Wetalkovertextforafewhours.Unlessyouhavealotofworktodo.”
“IthoughtyouhadadatewithVictoria?”
“Icancelled.”
“Why?”
“Ididn’tfeellikegoingouttonight.”
“Soyouliedtoherandtoldhersomethingcameup?”
“ItoldherI’mheldupattheofficewithaproblem.”
“Thatwasadouchebagmove,MobileMan.”
“Iknow,butyoudon’tunderstand.Ican’tstopthinkingaboutthisotherwomanandit
wouldn’tbefairtoleadVictoriaon.”
“I guess I understand, but then you need to tell Victoria that. You need to be upfront
andhonest.”
“Sowhatdoyouwantmetodo?”
“Textherandtellherandthensendmescreenshotsasproof.Afteryoudothat,Iwill
haveatextdatewithyou.”Shesentthesmileyemoji.
“Areyouserious?”
“Very.”
“Fine.Justgivemeafewminutes.”
“Waiting…”
Icouldn’tbelievewhatIwasabouttodo.Andforwhat?Afewhoursoftexttalkwitha
girlI’dneverevenmet?Digitswasworthit,though.Ienjoyedtalkingtoherforsomeodd
reason, and tonight, I wanted to spend an evening with her, even if it was just over text
messaging.
I sent Victoria a message telling her that I lied and something didn’t come up. I
explainedhow it wouldn’tbe fair tolead her on. Shecalled me everyname in the book
andthentoldmetolosehernumber.Itookascreenshotoftheconversationandsentitto
Digits.
“Happy?”
“Actually,Iam,MobileMan.Thatwasverynobleofyoutocomeclean.Verymatureas
farasI’mconcerned.”
“Ourtextdatewillbeginatnineo’clock.I’mgoingtograbsomedinnerfirst.Unless
youhavesomeofthatstirfryleft?”
“Sorry,Iateitall.I’llbeanxiouslywaitingforyourtext.Catchyalater,MobileMan.”
“Catchyalater,Digits.”
IsmiledasIgotupfromthebedandheadeddowntothekitchen.
Eloise
Aftercleaningupthekitchen,Ilookedatthetimeonmyphoneandsawitwasseven
o’clock. I had two hours before my text date with Mobile Man, so I decided to pour a
glassofwineandtakearelaxingbubblebath.WhileIwasrunningmyhandsthroughthe
bubblywater,atextmessagecamethroughonmyphonefromNatalie.
“Iknowyou’reonyourdate,butIwantedtotellyouImetaguyandhe’sdreamy.”
“Frankcancelled.Somethingcameup.Whoisthisguy?Sendmeapic.”
“FuckFrank!I’msorryhecancelled.HisnameisNathanandhe’sfromLongIsland.
Smallworld,eh?”
“Age?”
“He’sthirty-sevenandanarchitect.Believeitornot,heseemstohavehisshittogether.
He’sneverbeenmarried,ownshisownhome,andhehasacatnamedLucy.Hetaughtme
howtosurf.”
“Aw,Nat,that’sgreat.Istillwantapic.”
“SowhatareyoudoingtonightsincefuckerFrankcancelled?”
“MobileManandIarehavingatextdate.”
“Huh?Whatdoyoumean?”
“We’rebothstayinghomeandtextingeachother.”
“Okay,seriously,Eloise,you’vehitrockbottom.Justfuckingmeettheguyalready.Go
onarealdate.”
“Nah,andIhaven’thitrockbottom.Idon’twanttoruinourfriendshipbymeetinghim.
Wehaveacoolthinggoingon.”
“Ihavetogo.MymomandIareheadingtolunch,butwe’regoingtohavealongtalk
whenIgetback.Soprepareyourself.”
“Yes,Ma’am.Enjoyyourday!”
Isetmyphonedownandclosedmyeyes,takinginthehotbubblywaterthatsoothed
my skin. As I was feeling like I was drifting away to another world, my phone dinged.
Openingoneeye,Iglancedoveratitandstaredatthenumbercarefully.ItwasLuke.
“Hey, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I really want to talk to you. I’m not
comfortablewiththewayweleftthingsinourlasttext.Idolikeyou,Eloise.It’sjustI’m
confused.”
IletoutalaughasIreadhistext.Washeserious?
“Youhavealotofballstextingme.Toobadyoudidn’thavethoseballswhilewewere
seeing each other. Let me un-confuse you. You led me on, made me think that you were
interestedinme,weflirted,wekissed,andthenpoof,youdisappearedandproceededto
givemeaspeechonhowyoufeltweweregettingtoocloseandyouneededtofocuson
youandthekids.Younevershouldhavepursuedmethewayyoudidknowingyoudidn’t
wanttodate.Butyoudidandyouhurtme.Icanforgive,butIwillneverforget.You’rea
breadcrumberwhoneedsanegoboosteveryonceinawhile,andI’mnotthewomanto
giveyouone.Youdonotdeservemyattentionormywords.Infact,youdon’tevendeserve
these words, but you’re getting them so you’ll leave me the hell alone. You have been
#deleted and it’s going to stay that way. You don’t have the right to pop in and out of
people’sliveswhenitsuitsyou.”
“I’msorryandIunderstand.Itappearsyou’vegivenuponme.”
“Yourtimehasexpired.TakecareandIhopeyougetyourlifestraightenedout.”
Goodlord,hewasanidiot.Forsomeonehisage,itbewilderedmehowunintelligenthe
was.Whatwaswithtonight?Returnoftheexes?IturnedmyphoneoffsoIcouldenjoy
therestofmybathinpeace.Afterchangingintomypajamas,Igrabbedabottleofwine
fromthekitchenandtookitovertothecouch.Ihadapproximatelythirtyminutesbefore
mytextdatewithMobileManstarted,soIopenedmylaptopandreadsomemoreemails
from women all over the world with relationship questions. Starting tomorrow, I would
makedailyblogpostsansweringthequestionstheyhad.AsIwasreadingovertheemails,
my phone dinged with a message from Frank. With an arch in my brow, I read his text
message.
“Hey,I’mfreenowifyouwanttostillmeetup.”
“Really?Ithoughtsomethingcameup?”
“Itdid,butIresolvedit,sonowI’mfree.”
“Itakeityourotherdatestoodyouup?”
“What?Umm.No.Ofcoursenot.Whywouldyousaythat?”
“Listen, Frank. I’m not stupid, so just come clean with me. The sooner you do, the
soonerwecanwipetheslatecleanandmaybestartover.”
“Fine.I’msorry,Eloise.Ididlietoyou.Imetthisgirlthismorningatacoffeeshop
andIaskedheroutandtheonlytimeshehadavailablewastonight.”
“Goon…”
“We were supposed to meet at eight o’clock for dinner, but she called and said she
changedhermind.Shesaidsomethingaboutshe’snotoverherexyet.”
“So you benched me to go out with her, and if it didn’t work out, you felt you could
alwayssetupanotherdatewithme?”
“IguessIdid.I’msorry.Canwestillgoout?Ireallylikeyou.”
“If you did REALLY like me, you wouldn’t have cancelled to go out with some chick
fromthecoffeeshopyoujustmettoday.Ourtimetogettoknoweachotherexpiredwhen
you cancelled our date and failed to give me an explanation. Just for future reference,
Frank,womendon’tlikethe‘somethingcameup’excuse.Iamnowgoingtodeleteyour
numberfrommyphone,sopleasedon’ttextmeagain.Infact,don’tevenrespondtothis
text.I’vesaidmypeace.”
I threw my phone down on the couch, took a sip of my wine, and continued looking
over the emails I received. It was eight fifty-five when my phone dinged with a text
messagefromMobileMan.
“Hithere.Howareyou?”
“Hi.You’refiveminutesearlyforourdate.”
“Iliketobealittleearlythanlate.Beinglateforsomethingisjustrude.”
Icouldn’thelpbutsmile.
“Yousoundlikeme.Ican’tstandbeinglateforanything.Mygirlfriends,ontheother
hand,areopposite.Mycancelleddateresurrectedandsentmeatextmessagetellingme
thathe’sfreenowifIwantedtostillgoout.”
“HisotherplansfellthroughI’massuming.”
“Hemetagirlatacoffeeshopthismorningandbenchedmetogowithher.Sillyboy
forthinkingthatI’dstillbewaitingaround.”
“Benchedyou?”
“When a guy puts a girl on the bench to see if something better is out there. Kind of
likekeepingherinthewings.It’scomparabletowhenabasketballcoachbenchesoneof
hisnot-so-greatplayerstoplaythereallygoodones.”
“Isee.Ididn’tknowtherewasawordforthat.Heactuallytoldyouthathemetagirl
todayatthecoffeeshop?”
“Yes.Imadehim.”
ItookascreenshotofourconversationandsentittoMobileMan.
“Damn,Digits,youreallytoldhim.I’mimpressed.”
“Thankyou.”Isentthesmileyfaceemoji.
Christian
DigitswasfierceandIcouldn’thelpbutbealittleturnedonbyherself-confidence.I
neededto;no,Iwantedtogettoknowherbetter.
“HaveyoualwayslivedinNewYork?”Iasked.
“Yes.Andyou?”
“Yes.Doyouhaveanyotherfiercesiblingsoutintheworld?”
“No. I’m an only child. My parents tried for years after I was born, but my mom
couldn’tconceive.”
“I’m an only child as well. My parents didn’t even want children to begin with, but
accidentshappen.Areyourparentsstillmarried?”
“Yes.Theyhavethebestrelationshipever.Mydadisaone-of-a-kindguy,andsofar,
everyguyI’vemetdoesn’tevencomeclosetohim.”
“Soyou’researchingforsomeonelikeyourfather?”
“He’sagoodguywholovesmymomverymuch.He’sneverliedtoher,cheatedonher,
andtheybarelyargue.Itwouldbenicetohaveaguylikethatinmylife.”
“Soundsabnormaltome.”
“It’showIwasraised,somystandardsaresetprettyhigh.Whataboutyourparents?”
“My dad passed away a few years ago and my mom has since gotten married to
someoneelse.”
“I’msorryforyourloss.It’snicethatyourmommovedon.Doyoulikehim?”
“Thanks. Yes, I do. He’s a good guy and treats her well. What’s your favorite type of
food?”
“Italian.Unfortunately,Iloveallthosecarbs.”
“Lol.Metoo.ButIgettheimpressionyoustayfit.”
“Ido.Nowbacktorelationships.Whydon’tyouhaveagirlfriend?Youseemlikeanice
guywithouttoomuchdouchebaggerygoingon.”
“I’vehadacoupleofrelationshipsinmylife,buttheydidn’tseemtoworkout.Iwas
busywithmyworkanditprettymuchconsumedallmytime.Iguessit’sjusteasiertodate
avarietyofwomenwithoutallthedramaandhasslesofarelationship.”
“Apersonisnevertoobusywhentheyfindtherightperson,MobileMan.”
“ThenmaybeIjusthaven’tfoundtherightwomanyet.”
“Whataboutthatgirlyouweretellingmeabout?Theonewhodoesn’twanttogetto
knowyou?”
“She’soneIdefinitelycan’tstopthinkingabout.”
“What’ssospecialabouther?”
“She’sbeautifulandkind.Idon’tknowhowtoexplainit,Digits.There’sjustsomething
abouther.”
“Doesshehaveaboyfriendorsomething?”
“No.Shejustgotoutofarelationshipandisn’treadytodateanyoneyet.”
“Icanrelatetothat.Ifyouwantmyopinion,Ithinkyoushouldchaseher.Makeher
wanttogettoknowyou.”
“Isn’tthatafinelineofstalking?”
“No,lol.Womenlovetobechasedbymen.Justdon’tbecreepyaboutit,andwhatever
youdo,don’tbeadouchebag!Unlessshetotallydespisesyou.Doesshedespiseyou?”
“Idon’tthinkso.Shegetsreallynervousaroundme.Ithinkshewantstogooutbutis
afraid.FromwhatIunderstand,she’sbeenhurtinthepast.”
“Again, I can relate. Everybody’s been hurt by someone. If you really can’t stop
thinkingabouther,thendosomethingdifferenttograbherattention.”
“Likewhat?”
“I don’t know. Try to get to know her better without asking her on a date. Make it
somethingtotallycasual.”
“Good idea. I’ll give it some thought. So, what about you? What’s on the dating
horizonformyfriendDigits?”
“Youalreadyknow,MobileMan.”
“Ah, that’s right. You’re just trying to get inside the heads of men. What did you say
youdoagain?”
“I’minsocialmediarelations.”
“Toovagueforme,darling.Idon’tquiteunderstand.”
“I’m a writer and I’m helping women with relationship advice for men who behave
badly.”
“Huh?Whatdoyoumean‘menwhobehavebadly’?”
“Guyswhoghost,bench,breadcrumb,zombie,etc.”
“LOL!Comeon!Whatthehelldoesallthatmean?”
“Haveyoueverdisappearedfromawoman’slifewithoutanyexplanation?Justcutoff
all contact abruptly because you didn’t feel like seeing her anymore? Be honest, Mobile
Man.”
“Well,yes,Ihave.”
“You ghosted that poor girl. You already know what benching is because I explained
what happened to me tonight. Now, have you ever dated someone a couple of times but
aren’t really feeling it but don’t want to cut ties off completely in case you get bored or
lonely? Did you ever just randomly text that girl, throwing out little nibbles of I’m
interestedstillsopleasedon’tgoanywhere?”
“Maybe.”
“Youareabreadcrumber,MobileMan.”
“You’rebeingridiculous,Digits.”
“Ifyoudon’tbelieveme,lookitupforyourself.”
“Sowhatthefuckisazombie?”
“Afteryoughostedawoman,haveyouevercomeback,likesixmonthslaterandoutof
nowheretextherandaskwhat’sup?”
“Jesus,Digits.”
“I’lltakethatasayes.Zombie-ingiswhentheghosterreturnsafteraperiodoftime.
Theyrisefromthedead,soIliketosay.”
“Ijustwanttosettherecordstraight.OnceI’mdonewithawoman,Idon’tgoback.
So,no,Idonotzombie.Maybetheothers,butnotthat.”
“Itakegreatcomfortinknowingyou’vedonetheothersbutnotthatone,lol.”
“Let me get this straight, you’re saying that only men do it and women don’t do this
shit?”
“No.Iknowwomendoit,butI’mhelpingtheonesgetawayfromthemenwhodoit.”
“Goodluckwiththat.Ithinkeverymandoesit.”
“Only the ones who haven’t found the right woman to share their life with. And the
oneswhoareseriouslyfuckedintheheadanddon’tdeserveawomanintheirlifeperiod.”
“DoyouthinkI’mfuckedinthehead?”
“No,lol.Ijustthinkyouhaven’tfoundtherightwomanyet.Infact,Iwonderifthisgirl
youcan’tstopthinkingaboutistheoneforyou.”
“Guess only time will tell. I’m going to take your advice and chase her. No matter
what,Iwillgethertogooutwithme.”
“That’sthespirit,MobileMan.I’mproudofyou.It’sgettinglateandI’mtired.Chat
tomorrow?”
“Ofcourse.Thiswasfun,Digits.”
“Itwas!”
“Istillthinkweshouldmeet?”
“Andruinthisfunwehave?Ilikeitbetterthisway.Goodnight,MobileMan.”
“Goodnight,Digits.Sleepwell.”
Isetmyphonedownandsighed.Talkingtoherhadbecomethebestpartofmyday.As
weirdandstrangeasitsounded,Ifeltlikeshewasbecomingmybestfriend.HowwouldI
explainthattopeople?
Eloise
Ithadbeenalongandexhaustingdaywithbacktobackphotoshoots:Asocialitewho
held a charity event at her house in the afternoon, and a couple’s twenty-fifth wedding
anniversary at night. By the time I got home, it was late and all I wanted to do was
collapseinbedanddriftoffintodreamland.Afterwashingmyfaceandchangingintomy
pajamas,IpickedupmyphonefrommybedandsawIhadatextmessagefromRon.
“Heythere,sexygirl.Let’sdodinnertomorrownight.”
“Hi,Ron.Ihaveplanstomorrownight.How’sTuesdaynightlookforyou?”
“I’m leaving for out of town on Tuesday. I really wanted to see that beautiful smile
beforeIleft.Cancelyourplansandhavedinnerwithme.”
“Ican’t.I’msorry.ButIamfreeforlunchifyouwanttomeetup.”
“Whydoyouhavetobesodifficult?Justcancelyourplans.”
Forfucksakes,wasthisguyserious?#Deleteontheway.
“Theanswerisno!Idonotcancelmyplansforanyone.EspeciallyforsomeoneI’ve
only had drinks with for a couple of hours. If this is the way you talk to women on a
regularbasis,it’snowonderwhyyou’resingle.”
“ForgetIevenasked.Youaren’tworthanymoreofmytime.”
Rollingmyeyes,Ideletedhisnumberfrommyphone.Iwaswaytootiredtodealwith
thisbullshitfromanyone.TherewasonethingIneededtodobeforeIwenttosleep.
“Hi.Sorryittookmesolongtorespondtoyourlasttextmessage.It’sbeenaverylong
andexhaustingday.”
“It’sokay.Ifiguredyouwerebusy.Areyouallright?”
“I’mfine.Justtired.Howareyou?”
“I’mgood.Puttingaplanintoactionforameetingtomorrow.”Hesentthewinkyface.
“Iwon’tkeepyou.Getsomerest,Digits,andsleepwell.Goodnight.Catchyalater!”
“Goodnight,MobileMan.Sweetdreams.Catchyalater!”
IalwaysfeltgoodaftertalkingwithMobileMan.Weweregrowingcloserviatextand
asmuchashewantedustomeet,Icouldn’tbringmyselfto.IlovedwhatwehadandI
was too afraid that if we met, everything would go to shit and that was something I
couldn’trisk.Ididn’tbelieveamanandwomancouldjustbefriends.
****
Iwasdoingmylastphotoshootfortheweek,whichwasgoodbecauseitwouldallow
me to finish up previous edits and allow me to dive into my blog full-time. When I
finished, I pulled my phone from my purse and noticed I had a missed call and text
messagefromClaire.Dialinghernumber,Ibroughtmyphoneuptomyear.
“Hello,”sheanswered.
“Hey,youcalled?”
“Whereareyou?”
“Iwasdoingaphotoshootallmorning.Why?”
“Christian asked me to call you. He has a freelance job offer for you and would like
youtocomeintotheofficeifyou’reinterested.”
“Doingwhat?”Iasked.
“Photography,I’massuming.Canyoucomeinnow?”
“Idon’tknow,Claire.Idon’tthinkit’sagoodidea.”
“Eloise, it’s a job and I’m sure it pays well. You’d be a fool not to at least listen to
him.”
“Iguess.I’mnottoofar.I’llheadovertherenow.”
“Great.I’lllethimknow.”
IputmyphonebackinmypurseandhailedacabovertoChristian’sadvertisingfirm.
Whyonearthwouldheoffermeajob?Washedoingthispurelyforulteriormotives?But
photographing for an advertising firm, especially his that was on the rise, could mean
biggerandbetterthingsforme.
WhenIarrivedathisoffice,IfoundClaire,whotookmetoseeChristian.Themoment
Isteppedthroughthedoubleglassdoors,hestoodupfrombehindhisdeskwithapanty-
meltingsmileonhisface.
“Thankyouforcoming,Eloise.Please,haveaseat.”
“Hello, Christian.” I politely smiled. “Now what’s this about the freelance job Claire
toldmeabout?”IaskedasItookaseatacrossfromhisdeskandtightlycrossedmylegsto
tryandstopthevibratingsensationIfeltbelow.
“Ineedaphotographer.Ourcurrentphotographer,Max,isoutsickwithpneumoniaand
we have a perfume shoot coming up at the end of the week. You were the first person I
thoughtof.”Hesmirked.
“Whichperfumecompany?”Iasked.
“It’sforChanel.”
“Chanel?Areyoufreakingkiddingme?Howdidyouscorethat?”
Hechuckledandleanedbackinhischair.
“IhaveagoodfriendwhoisoneoftheV.P.’s.Theywerehavingsomeissueswiththeir
otherfirm,sohecalledmeupandaskedifwe’dbeinterested.Ifthecampaigngoeswell,
he’llbringusonboardforallChanelcampaignsandadvertising.”
“Wow. Talk about pressure.” I inhaled a sharp breath. “You haven’t even seen any of
mywork.HowdoyouknowI’mChanelworthy?”
Thecornersofhismouthcurvedupintoasweetsmile.
“Ihavefaithinyou.ButIwillneedtoseesomeofyourworkjusttomakesure.”He
winked.
“Ofcourse.Idon’thaveanythingwithmerightnow.”
“That’sokay.IcancomewithyoubacktoyourapartmentandIcanhavealook.”
“Youmeanrightnow?”
“Yes. Right now.” He looked at his Louis Vuitton watch, which sat proudly on his
wrist.“Infact,it’salmostdinnertime.Wecangrabsomethingontheway.”
A nervousness settled inside me and my foot began to involuntarily tap on the floor.
Chanelwastoogoodofanopportunitytoturndown.Shit.Thiswouldbethebiggestshoot
ofmylife.
“Okay.Idon’thaveanythingelsegoingontonight,”Ilied.
IwassupposedtogotoasinglesmixerintheFashionDistrict,butthatwouldhaveto
waitforanothertime.
“Excellent.Wecanleavenowifyou’reready,”Christianspokeashegotupfromhis
chair.
“Iam.”Ismiled.“CanIuseyourrestroombeforeweheadout?”
“Ofcourse.Letmeshowyouwhereitis.”
Iplacedmyhandonhismuscularchest.
“Justpointmeintherightdirection.Rememberwhathappenedlasttimeyoushowed
mewhereyourrestroomwas?”
“HowcouldIforget?”Heslylysmiled.
Wewalkedoutofhisofficeandhepointeddownthehallway.
“Thankyou.”Inodded.“I’llberightback.”
“You’rewelcome.”Hetuckedhishandsintohispantspockets.
Assoon as Ientered the bathroom,I pulled my phonefrom my purseand sent a text
messagetoClaire.
“I’minthebathroom.Getinherenow!”
“I’monmyway.Whichbathroomareyouin?”
“Idon’tknow.TheonedownthehallfromChristian’soffice.”
“Ohokay.I’llbethereinasec.”
Iplacedmyhandsonthesinkandstaredatmyselfinthemirror.Christianwascoming
overtomyapartment,whichdidn’tsettlerightwithme.Beingalonewithhimshouldn’t
behard,butitwouldbe.Especiallyafterwhathappenedthatnightathisparty.Thenight
that had been playing over and over in my mind since. The bathroom door opened and
Clairewalkedin.
“What’sgoingon?”sheasked.
“Christianiscomingovertomyapartmenttolookatmyportfolio.”
“Okay?And?”
Igrabbedherarms.
“Didyounothearmecorrectly?Christianiscomingovertomyplace!”
“Iheardyou.Sowhat?Areyouafraidofhimorsomething?”
Iplacedmyhandsonmyheadandscrunchedmyhair.
“Oh. I know what this is about,” she spoke. “You’re afraid to be alone with him
becauseyoumighthavesexwithhimagain.”
“No.”Iwiggledmyfingerinfrontofherface.“Iamnothavingsexwithhimagain.”
“Eloise.”Shesighed.“Youknowwhyyou’renotgoingtohavesexwithhimagain?”
“BecauseIsaidso?”Iarchedmybrow.
“No. Christian won’t make that mistake again. He already apologized to you for last
timeandhe’snotstupidenoughtotryitagain.”
“Iguessyou’reright.”Ileanedagainstthesink.
“Iamright.NowgoandshowChristianyourportfolio.Thisisallstrictlybusiness.”
Isighed.“Okay.Justgivemeaminute.”
AssoonasClaireleftthebathroom,Ipulledoutmyphoneandsentatextmessageto
MobileMan.
“Ijustwantedtosayhi.”
“Hi.”Hesentthesmileyface.“Busydaytoday?”
“Yes.How’syourdaygoing?”
“Icanhonestlysaymydayisfantastic.”
“I’mhappytohearthat.Ihavetogo.I’mstillworking.Catchyalater?”
“Catchyalater,Digits.”
Eloise
WhenIopenedthedoortothebathroom,Christianwasleaningagainstthewall.
“Ithoughtmaybeyoufellin.”Hegrinned.
“Veryfunny.”Iscrunchedupmynoseathimandhechuckled.
“Whatareyouhungryfor?”heasked.
“Pizza?”Ibitdownonmybottomlip.
“Pizzasoundsgoodtome.HowaboutPizzapopulous?Icancallitinnowanditshould
bereadybytimewegetthere.”
“Ilovethatplace.”
“Metoo.”Hesmiled.“Whatkindofpizzadoyoulike?”
“Anykindreally.Hawaiian,barbequechicken,Mediterranean,oronewitheverything
onitexceptanchovies.”
“Ah,you’reaneverythingonitkindofgirl.Ilikethat.”
After picking up the pizza, we headed back to my apartment. My belly was doing
backflips all the way there and it was pissing me off. Once we stepped inside my
apartment, Christian set the pizza box on the kitchen counter and I grabbed a couple of
paperplatesandnapkins.
“Ihavebeer,”Ispoke.
“Abeersoundsgood.Howmanypiecesofpizzadoyouwant?”
“Two,”IrepliedasIopenedthefridgeandgrabbedtwobottlesofbeer.
WebothtookaseatatmysmallroundtablefortwoandChristianpoppedthecapoff
hisbeerandtookasipwhileIbitintomypizza.Thesilencebetweenuswaseerie.Itwas
almostasifeitheroneofuswasafraidtosaysomething.
“Assoonaswe’redone,I’llgetmyportfolio.”
“Ican’twaittoseeyourwork,”hespokeashiseyeswanderedaroundmyapartment.
“Yourapartmentisnice.”
“Thanks.”Igavehimasmallsmile.
“Tellmealittlebitaboutyourfamily,”hespoke.
“Whydoyouwanttoknowaboutmyfamily?”
“Whynot?”Heshrugged.“Wouldyourathertalkaboutsomethingelse?”
“No.It’sjustme,mymomandmydad.”
“You’reanonlychild?”
“Yeah.MyparentstriedforyearsafterIborn,butmymomcouldn’tconceive.”
“Ah,that’stoobad.Areyourparentsstillmarried?”
“Yes.”Ismiled.“Theyhavethebestrelationshipever.Mydadisaone-of-a-kindguy.”
****
Christian
Isatacrossfromherwithabewilderedlookonmyface.Thosewords.I’dheardthem
before.Mymindstartedracingatsuchanuncontrollablespeed,Icouldn’tkeepup.Nah.
Couldn’tbe.Ithadtobeacoincidence.Doesn’teverygirlthinkherfatherisaone-of-a-
kindguy?
“That’sgoodtohearyouthinksohighlyabouthim.Tellmemore.”
“He’s a good guy who loves my mom very much. He’s never lied to her, cheated on
her,andtheybarelyargue.Icanonlycountmaybetwotimesmyentirelifewheretheygot
intoadisagreement.”Shesmiled.
Mystomachtwistedinatightknot.
“Yourstandardsforaguymustbeprettyhighthen,”Ispoke.
“Theyare.Veryhigh.”Sheheldupherbeerbottlebeforetippingittoherlips.
“What’syourfavoritetypeoffood?”IaskedasInarrowedmyeyeather.
“Italian.Unfortunately,Iloveallthosecarbs.”
Holyshit.Shecan’tbe.Thiswasallacoincidence.Igaveherasmall,nervoussmile.
“Ineedtouseyourbathroom.”
“Ohsure.It’sdownthehall,firstdoorontheright.”Shepointed.
“I’llberightback.”
IhadtoknowforsureandtherewasonlyonewayIcouldbecertain.Istoodaround
thecorner,pulledmyphonefrommypocket,turnedthesoundoff,andsentatextmessage
toDigits.
“Ihopeyoureveningisgoingwell.”
I heard her phone ding and she got up from the table and took it from the kitchen
counter.
“Itis.How’syours?”
Myphonelitupwithareplyfromherandmyheartstartedracing.
“Good.Reallygood.Areyoustillworking?”Ihitthesendbutton.
Herphonedingedagain.
“Actually,Iam.You?”
“Yeah. I’m working and I better get back to it. Catch ya later?” Ipeekedaroundthe
cornerandwatchedhertypeawayonherphone.
“Catchyalater,MobileMan.Don’tworktoohard.”
Shesetherphonedownandtookaseatatthetable.Icouldn’tbelievethis.Eloisewas
Digits.Placingmyphonebackinmypocket,Itookmyseatandstaredather.
“What?”Shesmiled.
“Nothing.I’mjustexcitedtoseeyourwork.”
“Okay.GositonthecouchandI’llgrabmyportfolio.Icancleanthisuplater.”
I took a seat on the couch, and a few moments later, Eloise sat down next to me and
openedherportfolio.
“Wow.Thesearereallygood,”IspokeasIstudiedeachpageandphotograph.
“Thankyou.”
“You definitely have a natural talent, and the kind of talent I need for the Chanel
shoot.”
“WouldyouliketoseetheweddingphotosItookattheweddingwewerebothat?”
Ilookedoveratherandcouldseetheexcitementinhereyes.
“OfcourseIwould.”Igrinned.
Shegrabbedherlaptopfromthecoffeetable.Pullingupthefile,sheopeneditandan
arrayofpicturesfilledthescreen.
“Thesearestunning,Eloise.Whatdidthehappycouplehavetosay?”
“Theyhaven’tseenthemyet,sodon’tletonthatyoudid.”
Ichuckled.“Iwon’t.It’llbeourlittlesecret.”Iwinked.
The thought that she was Digits harbored inside me. I wanted to reach out, place my
handonherbeautifulcheek,andtellherthatIwasMobileMan.ButIcouldn’t.Notyet.It
wouldmorethanlikelyfreakheroutandIcouldn’thavethat.
“Ishouldgetgoing.It’sgettinglate,”Ispoke.
“Yeah,okay.”
WebothgotupfromthecouchandIstartedtohelphercleanupfromdinner.
“Youdon’thavetodothat,Christian.Igotthis.”Shegrinned.
“Iwanttohelp,”IspokeasIgrabbedtheemptybeerbottlesfromthetable.
Oncewefinishedcleaningup,shewalkedmetothedoor.
“By the way, did I mention that the photo shoot is in Chicago and we leave Friday
morning?”
Shecockedherheadandraisedherbrowatme.
“No,youdidnotmentionthat.”
“Ihopeit’snotgoingtobeaproblem.We’llbebackonSunday.”
“You’reluckyIdon’thaveanyphotoshootsthisweekend.”Shesmirked.
“IguessIam.”Ismirkedbackather.
IttookeverybitofstrengthIhadinmenottoleaninandkissher.Thethoughtofher
softlipstangledwithmineagainexcitedme.Iplacedmyhandsinmypocketstostopany
involuntarymovement.
“Good night, Eloise. Oh, by the way, I know you don’t want to give me your phone
number,sojustgivemeyouremailaddressandwecancommunicatethroughthat.”
“Well,sinceI’mdoingafreelancejobforyou,itwouldonlybeprofessionalofmeto
giveyoumynumber.HoldonasecondandI’llgograbapieceofpaperandapen.”
Afewmomentslater,shereturnedandhandedmethesmallpinkpost-itnotewithher
phonenumberonit.
“Thanks.”Ismiled.“Haveagoodnight.”
“Youtoo,Christian.”Thecornersofhermouthslightlycurvedupwardsassheclosed
thedoor.
Eloise
As much as I tried to not focus on how intense the evening was with Christian, I
couldn’thelpit.Therewasapartofmethathadhopedhislipswouldhavebrushedmine.
Hewasaperfectgentlemananddidn’teventrytocomeclosetoflirtingwithme.Hewas
successful,nice,andsexyashell.HeseemedtobeeverythingIwantedinaman.Well,I
couldn’treallysaythat,couldI?Ibarelyknewhim.Theyallseemedthatwayatfirst,and
once you invested time and energy in them and became attached, they pulled some shit
thatmadeyouwishyouneverwouldhavegotteninvolvedinthefirstplace.Iturnedoff
thelightsinthelivingareaandretreatedtomybedroomforthenightwithmylaptop.
IsignedintomyblogandbeganwritingapostregardinganemailIreceivedfroma
womannamedLina.
DearEloise,
ImetthismanfourmonthsagoandIfellheadoverheelsforhimrightfromthestart.
Weconnectedinstantlyandhaveamazinganddeepconversations.He’sthesameageasI
am and has been married and divorced twice. I was hesitant to give him my number at
first because I felt I wasn’t ready to date, even though I’d been divorced two years. We
startedoutemailingeachotherandthenIfeltcomfortableenoughtogivehimmynumber.
Hetextedmeinstantlyandwesentmessagesbackandfortheveryday.Inthefourmonths
wekneweachother,weonlywentoutonadateacoupleoftimesanditwasduringthe
day.Itseemedasthoughhewasalwaysbusy,evenwhenhedidn’thavehiskids.Thenone
day,thetextingstopped.Iwouldtexthimandgetaveryshortresponse.Eitheranemojior
aone-wordsentence.Hekepttellingmeoverandoverhowmuchhereallylikedmebut
wasn’treadytojumpintoanofficialrelationship.It’sbeenovertwoweeksandIhaven’t
heard a single word from him. I do have him as a Facebook friend and I can see he’s
onlineallthetime,especiallylateatnight.Idon’tknowwhattodo.IreallylikehimandI
thought he liked me too. I’m having a hard time trying to forget him and the feeling of
beingrejectediskillingme.Anyadvicewouldbegreatlyappreciated.
I felt for her and I could relate to everything she was feeling and going through with
this douchebag. Just as I was about to write my blog post, my phone dinged with a text
messagefromMobileMan.Instantly,asmilecrossedmylips.
“Hithere,beautiful.How’syourevening?”
“Hi! Why are you calling me ‘beautiful’? You have no clue what I look like. My
eveningisgood.Justdoingsomeworknow.”
“Idon’thavetoknowwhatyoulookliketothinkyou’rebeautiful.That’sthebeautyof
ourtextrelationship.Wecantellhowtheotherpersonisjustbyourconversations.”
“Isthatso?ThenwhatelseamI?”
“Ithinkyou’reakindandsweetwomanwhoisstrongandindependent.Youknowwhat
youwantandyou’llstopatnothingtogoafterit.”
“True,lol.Areyoudrunk?”
“Lol.No,I’mnotdrunk.I’mcomplimentingyou.Isn’tthatwhatfriendsdo?”
“Iguessso.Youseemdifferenttonight.What’sgoingon?”
“Itookyouradviceaboutchasingthegirl.”
“Oh?And?”
“ImadeprogresswithherandI’mfeelingreallygood.”
“That’sgreat,MobileMan.I’msohappyforyou!”
“Thanks,Digits.Icouldn’thavedoneitwithoutyou.”
“Didyouaskherout?”
“Notyet,butthetimeiscoming.I’mtakingitslowfornow.Idon’twanttoscareher
off.”
“Idon’tthinkyou’llscareheroff,butifyoudon’tgetanywherewithherinacoupleof
weeks’ time, you may have to #Delete her. Or if she starts to display the whole bench,
ghost,orbreadcrumbingbehavior.”
“Idon’tthinkshe’ddothat.”
“Nobodythinkstheotherpersonthey’reinterestedinwoulddothat,buttheydo.Shit,
MobileMan,you’vedoneit.It’stooeasynowadaystoavoidconfrontation.Justbeonthe
lookout.Idon’twantyoutogethurt.”
“Youdon’t?Tellmewhy.”
“Becauseyou’remyfriendandallIwantisforyoutobehappy.”
“Youdon’tevenreallyknowme,Digits.”
“Callitmywoman’sintuition.”
“Ifwe’rebeinghonest,allIwantisforyoutobehappytoo.Iwantyoutofindtheman
of your dreams. A man who would never do those things to you and would never hurt
you.”
“Wow.That’sdeep.Thankyou.Iappreciateit,MobileMan.ButI’mnotlookingforthe
manofmydreams.Idon’tbelieveheexists.”
“Hedoes,Digits.I’msureofit.Enjoytherestofyourevening.Catchyalater?”
“Youtoo.Catchyalater.”
IsmiledasIsetmyphonedown.ThethingsMobileMansaidtomeweresweetandit
made me feel warm inside. Was he trying to make me fall for him? Shit. My emotions
wererunningatanall-timehigh,betweenhimandChristian.
Christian
IwasupallfuckingnightthinkingaboutDigits,AKAEloise.Thedatesshe’dbeenon
butthefactthatshewouldn’tgooutwithmeburnedaholeinmysoul.HowwasIgoing
to tell her that the man she’d been texting all this time was me? The most important
questionwaswhenwasIgoingtotellher?ThiswasonesecretIhadtokeepalittlewhile
longer,atleastuntilafterourChicagotrip.IwasgoingtodoeverythingIcouldtomake
thattriponeshe’dneverforget.
AsIwasstandinginlineatStarbucks,grabbingacoffeebeforeheadingtotheoffice,I
pulledmyphonefrommypocketandsentatextmessagetoDigits.
“Goodmorning.Ihopeyousleptwell.”
“Goodmorning.Idid.Howaboutyou?”
“Notbad,”Ilied.“Ihopeyouhaveagreatday.”
“Thanks,MobileMan.Ihopeyouhaveagreatdaytoo.”
“Iwill,Digits.Trustme!Catchyalater.”
“Catchyalater.”
Withasmileonmyface,Iplacedmyphonebackintomypocket,grabbedmycoffee,
and walked the two blocks to the office. Knowing that I was talking to Eloise made my
dayevenbrighter.
“Someone’sinafantasticmood.”ClairesmiledasIwalkedpastherdesk.
“Goodmorning,Claire.Iaminafantasticmood.”
Shegotupfromherchairandfollowedmeintomyoffice.
“Umm.HowdidthingsgowithEloise?”
“Things went well. Her portfolio is outstanding and the two of us leave for Chicago
Fridaymorning.”
“Good. I’m happy she accepted the job. So it’s just going to be the two of you in
Chicagoforacoupleofdays?”
“Yes.Why?Well,thetwoofusandsomeofthepeoplefromChanel.”
“Justwondering.Ididn’tknowifPeterorJimmyweregoing.”
“Nah.Ineedthemhereatthefirm.Isthereanythingelse?”
“No.”Sheshookherhead.“I’mgoingtogetbacktowork.”Sheslowlywalkedoutof
myoffice.
“Thanks,Claire.”
****
Eloise
IwasjustheadingoutthedoortodelivertheweddingproofstoKimandGrantwhen
myphonerang.
“Hey,Claire,what’sup?”IaskedasIsteppedoutofmyapartmentbuildingandonto
thestreet.
“DidanythinghappenbetweenyouandChristianlastnight?”
“No.”Ilaughed.Why?”
“Hecameinthismorninginareallygoodmood.Ithoughtmaybehespentthenight.”
“No,hedidn’t.Wehadpizzaandbeer,talked,Ishowedhimmyportfolio,andheleft.
Hedidn’ttryathing.Itwasstrictlyprofessional.”
“Oh,okay.Maybehewentoutlastnightafterheleftyourplace.”
“Idon’tknow.Maybe.”
Afterwesaidourgoodbyes,astingingsensationshotthroughmyheart.Thethoughtof
Christian going out last night after leaving my place bothered me a bit. Maybe that was
whyhedidn’ttrytokissme?Orflirtwithme?Maybehewasalreadygoingonadateand
thatwaswhyheleftwhenhedid.Eitherway,Ineededtostopthinkingaboutitandhim.
After dropping off the proofs, I headed to Starbucks for a cup of coffee on my way
home. I was waiting in line for my drink to be made when I overheard two women
complainingaboutmen.Myearsperkedupinstantly.
“IcedGrandecaramelmacchiatowithnonfatmilkforEloise,”thebaristaspoke.
“Thankyou.”Ismiled.
After grabbing my coffee from the counter, I walked over to the table where the two
womensat.Theywerebothintheirlatetwenties,earlythirtiesatthemost.
“Excuseme,”Ispoke.“Icouldn’thelpoverhearaboutyourmanissues.”
BothwomenglaredatmelikeIhadsomenerveintrudingontheirprivateconversation.
“I’msorry.I’mEloise.”Iheldoutmyhand.“Ihaveadatingblog.TheChroniclesof
#Delete.”
“I’mSaraandthisismyfriend,Tia.”
“Nicetomeetyouboth,”Ispoke.
“Pleasehaveaseat.”Saragestured.
“Yousayyouhaveadatingblog?”Tiaasked.
“Yes. My goal is to teach women about the concept of #Delete before they get too
involved with a man. To help them see the red flags that pop up in the early stages of
dating.”
“Well,there’sthismanImetacoupleofmonthsago,”Sarabegantospeak.“Wehitit
off instantly and exchanged numbers. That same night, we talked on the phone for over
twohours.Afterthat,Ididn’thearfromhimforthreedays.So,Ireachedouttohimand
we set up a date. He took me to dinner and then we walked in Central Park and talked
aboutlife.Afterourdate,hetoldmehe’dcallmethenextday.Aweekwentbyandhe
nevercalledortextedme.Ispentthatweekreplayingourdateinmyhead,tryingtosee
what could have gone wrong. Then, another week went by, and just when I was putting
himoutofmymind,hesentmeatextmessageandaskedhowIwasdoing.”
“Letmeguess.”Ismiled.“Youinstantlyreplied.”
“Idid.IwasjustsohappythatIfinallyheardfromhim.”
“Whatdidyourespondwith?”Iasked.
“ItoldhimthatIwasdoinggoodandhowhappyIwastohearfromhim.Hesaidhe’d
been thinking about me and he was sorry he hadn’t been in touch, but he was working
crazyhoursbecausehe’supforapromotion.Healsosaidthathe’dbeintouchinacouple
ofdayswhenhehadabetterhandleonhisscheduleandhe’dtakemeout.”
“Didhegetintouchwithyou?”IarchedmybrowbecauseIalreadyknewtheanswer.
“Hedid.Exactlyninedayslater.OnceagainaskingmehowIwasandifImissedhim.”
Iplacedmyhandovermyfaceandslowlyshookmyhead.
“Pleasetellmeyoudidn’ttellhimyoudid.”
“Yep.Shetoldhim,”Tiaspoke.
“Didheenduptakingyouout?”Iasked.
“No.”Saralookeddowninembarrassment.“It’sbecomeapatternwithhim.He’lltext
meeveryotherweekandhandmesomeexcuseastowhyhehadn’tbeenintouch.”
“Wait,itgetsbetter.”Tiasmiled.
IlookedatSarawithanarrowedeye.“Whathappened?”
“Ijoinedanewgymandranintohimtherelastweek.Icouldtellbythelookonhis
facethathewasshockedtoseeme.Iaskedhimhowhewasdoing.Hetoldmehishard
workpaidoffandhegotthepromotionandthathe’dhavesomefreetimenowtogoout.
Wemadesmalltalkandheleft.”
“Haveyouheardfromhimsincethegymmeeting?”
“No,andIcan’tstopthinkingabouthim.Ihatethis,andIdon’tknowwhattodo.”
“I’ll tell you what you’re going to do,” I spoke. “You’re going to delete his number
fromyourphoneandpretendheneverexisted.”
“Idon’tthinkIcan.Ijustfeelinmyheartthere’sapossibilityhe’sgoingtotakeme
out.”
“Listen, Sara.” I reached across the table and placed my hand on hers. “What he’s
doingisatermcalledbreadcrumbing.”
“What?”Herbrowsfurrowed.
“It’s when a guy will reach out to you when he’s feeling bored or lonely. It’s an ego
boost for him knowing you’re still out there hanging on. He’s throwing you little
breadcrumbs to keep you interested without any intention of taking you out or getting
serious.Icanguaranteehehasalotofwomeninhislifethathe’sdoingthisto.”
“Butwealreadywentonadate,”shespoke.“That’swhatIdon’tunderstand.”
“Maybe he wasn’t feeling it, or maybe he knew if he took you out at least once, that
wouldbeenoughtogetyouhooked.”
“ButImisshim.”Shepouted.
“Letme ask youthis. What isit that you missabout him? Areyou really attached to
him or to the outcome of this relationship? Because sometimes, we women aren’t really
intotheguyasmuchaswethinkweare.”
Ireachedintomypurseandtookoutapenandmysmallnotepad.Drawingalinedown
the center of the paper, I labeled the left side PROS, and the right side CONS. After
placingitinfrontofher,Ispoke,“Iwantyoutolistalltheprosandconsofthisguy.”
She picked up the pen and began writing. Once she was finished, she looked at both
sides. On the left side that was labeled PROS, she had written down three things about
him.OntherightsidethatwaslabeledCONS,thecolumnconsistedofeightthingsthat
shefoundwrongwithhim.
“Hmm,”shespokeasshestudiedwhatshewrotedown.“Theconsoutweighthepros.”
“Exactly.” I smiled. “You are a beautiful woman with high standards and self-worth.
Thisloserwhoonlycontactsyouwhenitsuitshimisawasteofyourtime.Andthelonger
youholdontothehopethathe’llcallandaskyououtagain,thelongeryouareblocking
yourdreamguyfromwalkingintoyourlife.”
“OhmyGod,Eloise,you’reright.Idon’tdeservetobetreatedthisway.”
“No, you don’t. This man is low investment. Women don’t have time to put up with
low-investmentmen.Ifheisn’thighinvestment,it’stimeto#Delete.”
“SowhatshouldIdoifbychancehecrawlsoutofthewoodworkandtextsmeagain?”
“You respond with this: ‘Your time to talk to me has expired. Bye.’ Then swipe and
delete.”
“Iloveyou!”Shegrinnedasshethrewherarmsaroundmefromacrossthetable.
“Youshouldreallyhostsomedatingclassesormakevideos,”Tiaspoke.“You’revery
inspiring.Iamtotallygoingtofollowyourblog.”
“Metoo!”Sarasmiled.“Thankyou,Eloise.Youhavenoideahowmuchyou’vehelped
metoday.”
“You’rewelcome.”Igotupfrommyseat.“Letmeknowwhathappens.Youcanfind
allmycontactinformationonmyblog.”
Eloise
IleftStarbucksfeelinglikeamillionbucks.KnowingthatIhelpedSararealizetheman
she liked was a total douchebag and that she was wasting her time made me feel
incredible.Iwaswalkingdownthestreet,revelinginmyglory,whenIturnedthecorner
andliterallyranintoLuke.
“Eloise,”hespokeinshockashelightlytouchedmyarm.
Itwasinevitablethatwe’deventuallyrunintoeachother.Eventhoughthereareeight
millionpeoplewholiveinNewYorkCity,itwouldbemylucktorunintothedouchebags
whoquicklyenteredandthenjustasquicklyexitedmylife.
“Sorry.Ididn’tseeyou,”IspokeasItriedtowalkpasthim.
“Wait.Youlookgreat.Howareyou?”
Igavehimacunningsmile.
“I’mfantastic!”
Helookedlikehehadn’tshavenindaysandhishairwasinbadneedofacut.
“Listen, I know you said some things to me during our last conversation, but I was
wonderingifmaybeyouwantedtogogetadrink?Idon’thavethekidstonight.”
There was a laughter inside me that was dying to escape. But instead, I stood there
smilingathim.
“Letmeaskyouaquestion.Canyouseethe‘Fuckyou’inmysmile?”
Hestoodthere,staringatmewithanarrowedeye.
“Fine.Iguessthat’sano.Haveagoodlife,Eloise.Iwon’tbotheryouagain.”
“Thankyou,Luke.Ireallydohopeyougetyourlifetogether.Justdomeonefavor.”
“What’sthat?”heasked.
“Don’t toy with women’s emotions. If you don’t want to date anyone right now, just
stay away from women altogether. Don’t lead them on and make them think they’re
special.AndfortheloveofGod,justbehonestfromthebeginning.It’llsaveyoualotof
trouble.”Ibegantowalkaway.
“Onemorething,Eloise.”
Istopped,rolledmyeyes,andturnedaround.
“Iamsorry.”
Igavehimasmallsmileandheadedhome.JustasIopenedthedoortomyapartment,
myphonedinged.Pullingitfrommypurse,IsawIhadatextmessagefromMobileMan.
“How’syourdaygoing?”
“It’sfabulous!”
“That’s what I like to hear. Anything special happen to put you in such a fabulous
mood?”
“Asamatteroffact,IhelpedawomanoutatStarbuckswitharelationshipissue.”
“Ah.Goodforyou.So,Iguessyou’reanexpert.”
“Lol.Notyet,butI’monmyway.Infact,IhavetogogetreadyforasinglesmixerI’m
attendingtonight.”
“Oh.You’regoingtooneofthose?”
“Yes.Catchyalater?”
“Sure.Catchyalater.”
****
Christian
Ithrewmyphoneacrossmydeskandleanedbackinmychair.Thefuckingthoughtof
her going to a single’s mixer and potentially meeting someone enraged me. Jealousy
coursedthroughmybodythemoreIthoughtaboutit.
“Fuck!”Iyelled.
“Areyouokay,Christian?”Claireaskedasshesteppedintomyoffice.
“NO!”
I stood up from my seat and tucked my hands in my pockets as I paced around the
room.
“AnythingIcandotohelp?”
“Yeah.Youcanstopyourfriendfromgoingtoasinglesmixertonight,”Iaccidentally
blurtedout.
“What?Who?YoumeanEloise?”
Shit.Shit.Shit.
“Ishouldn’thavesaidthat.I’msorry,”Ispoke.“Justforgetit.”
“Shetoldyoushe’sgoingtoasingle’smixertonight?”
IheavilysighedasIranmyhandthroughmyhair.
“Whywouldshetellyouthat?”sheasked.
“Shedidn’ttellmethat.”
“Thenhowdoyouknow?”sheaskedinconfusion.
Isatdowninmychairandplacedmyfaceinmyhands.HowthefuckwasIgoingto
getoutofthisone?
“Christian,whatthehellisgoingon?IfEloisedidn’ttellyoushe’sgoing,thenhowdid
you find out? Are you stalking her or something? Having her followed? Tapping her
phone.”
“Don’tberidiculous,Claire.DoyouhonestlythinkIwoulddoanyofthosethings?”
“Noneofthismakessense.”
Iinhaledadeepbreath.
“Eloisedidn’ttellmedirectly;Digitsdid,”IspokeasIstaredather.
Fuck.Ihadnochoice.
Herbrowsfurrowedandthelookonherfacetoldmeshewasinastateofconfusion.
ShewasoneofEloise’sbestfriends,andIwassureshetoldheraboutMobileMan.
“Waitaminute.”Sheputherhandup.“HowdoyouknowaboutDigits?”
I grabbed my phone from my desk, brought up our text messages, and showed it to
Claire.Afteramoment,sheplacedherhandoverhermouthandlookedatmewithwide
eyes.
“You’reMobileMan?”
“Yes.”
“Holyshit.DoesEloiseknow?”
“No,andyouarenottotellhereither.Doyouunderstandme?IjustfoundoutwhenI
wenttoherapartmenttolookatherportfolio.Iaskedheraboutherparentsandshetold
mewordforwordwhatDigitstoldmeinourtextmessages.”
“Ihavenowordsrightnow,Christian.Absolutelynowords.”
“I’mstillinshockmyself.”
“Youhavetotellher.”
“Iwill.Justnotrightnow.I’mplanningonitaftertheChicagotrip.”
“Why?Whyareyouwaiting?”sheasked.
“BecauseIwanttomakeChicagoatripshe’llneverforget,Claire.IfItellherthatI’m
MobileMan,shemaynevertalktomeagain.”
“Butyoudon’tknowthatforsure.ShelikesMobileManalot.Like,everytimeI’m
with her and a text from you comes through, she gets this big smile on her face. She
alreadyfeelstheconnection,soherknowingwon’tchangethat.”
“It’sachanceI’mnotwillingtotakeyet.Please,don’ttellher.”
Shesatthereinthechairshakingherheadashereyesburnedintomine.
“I won’t. I want nothing to do with this. If she ever found out I knew, she would
probablyendourfriendship.”
“Thenforgetaboutit.Thisconversationneverhappened.”
“You’reright.”Shegotupfromherseat.“Itneverhappened.Asforhergoingtothe
singlesmixertonight,youhavenothingtoworryabout.She’snotouttofindaman.She’s
onlyusingthemfortheirdumbbrains.Nooffense.”
“Nooffensetaken.”Ismiled.
Eloise
IspenttherestofthedaycleaningmyapartmentandgettingitreadysoIcouldfilma
videoformyblog.Ghostinghadseemedtobeahugeissuewithguys,soIwantedto
tacklethattopicfirst.AsIwassettingupmycamera,myphonedinged.WhenIlookedat
thenumber,itwasoneI’dneverseenbefore.Openingmytextmessages,Isawitwas
fromChristian.MybellydidaflipandIquietlytoldittostop.
“Hi,Eloise,it’sChristian.Ijustwantedtosendyouaquicktexttoletyouknowthat
ourflightforChicagoleavesFridaymorningatsevena.m.I’llswingbyandpickyouup
aroundfivea.m.”
“Hi,Christian.Soundsgood.I’llbeready.”
“Inthemeantime,ifyouhaveanyquestions,feelfreetocallme.”
“Thankyou.Iwill.”
Fivea.m.?Ugh.I’dhavetomakesureeverythingwaspackedandsittingbythedoor
thenightbefore.Settingmyphonedown,IlitthecandlesIhadsittingonthetableand
tookaseatonmywhiteleathercouch.Turningmycameraon,Ibegantofilmmyvideo.
OnceIfinished,itwastimetogetreadyforthesinglesmixerIwasattendingtonight.
****
Christian
Iturnedoffmycomputer,grabbedmybriefcase,andasIwaswalkingoutofmyoffice
fortheevening,Clairestoppedme.
“Christian?”
“What’sup,Claire?I’mleavingfortheday.”
Shehandedmeafoldedwhitepieceofpaperandwalkedaway.
SinglesMixer
EmpireHotelRooftopLounge
7:30p.m.
Afterreadingthenote,IlookedupandClairewasalreadygone.Foldingthepaperand
placingitinmypocket,IheadeddowntoPeter’soffice.
“Hey.”Ilightlytappedonthedoorbeforesteppinginside.
“Hey.You’releavingalready?”heasked.
“Yeah.Whatareyoudoingtonight?”
“Actually,Iwasgoingtoaskyouthesamething.Iwasthinkingsomedrinkingatthe
barwasinorder.”
“I’vegotsomethingbetter.”
“What?”
“AsinglesmixerattheEmpireHotelRooftopLoungeat7:30.”
Helaughed.“Sincewhendoyougotoasinglesmixer?”
“Idon’t.I’veneverneededto,butsomeoneisgoingtobetheretonight.”
“Who?”Hecockedhishead.
“Eloise.”
“Shewon’tgooutwithyou,butshe’llgotoasinglesmixer?”Helaughed.
“I guess so. Are you up for going? Maybe you’ll meet the woman of your dreams
there.”
“Whynot.”Heshrugged.“I’mgoingtostaybackandfinishuptheLevitt’sCampaign.
I’llmeetyouthere.”
“Soundsgood.”
****
Eloise
As I was in the bathroom getting ready to go out, I heard a knock at my door. I set
downmymakeupbrush,walkedover,andlookedthroughthepeepholeonlytofindClaire
standingthere.
“Hi.”IsmiledasIopenedthedoor.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“I’vedecidedtogotothesinglesmixerwithyou.”
“Areyouserious?Comeonin.I’malmostready.Isn’tKennygoingtobepissedyou’re
going?”
“Kenny doesn’t know. He’s out with the guys playing cards. I told him me and you
weregoingtodinnerandthenhangingatyourplaceafter.”
“I’mnotthrilledthatyouliedtohim,butI’mhappyyou’recomingalongwithme.”
“Meh.”Sheshrugged.“Hetellsmelittlewhiteliesallthetime.”
Iputthefinishingtouchesonmymakeup,lightlysprayedmyhair,andweheadedto
the Empire Hotel. When we arrived, we were escorted to the Rooftop Lounge where
singlemenandwomenfromNewYorkCitygathered.Itwasabeautifulfallnightandthe
ambiancewasperfect.Overtowardsthecorneroftherooftop,wefoundanemptycouch,
sowerantoitasfastaswecouldandtookaseat.
“Wow.Thisisgreat.I’veneverbeentooneofthesebefore.”Clairesmiled.
“Meeither.It’sprettycool.”
Men walked past us, smiling, winking, giving us the “I may want to fuck you” look.
Theyswarmedarounduslikeeaglessearchingfortheirprey.
“Hithere.I’mJack.”Thecuteguywhostoodapproximatelyfivefooteightsmiled.
“Hello.”Ismiledback.“I’mEloise.”
“Whatanunusualandbeautifulname.”
“Thanks, I think. This is my friend, Claire, but she’s not single. She’s just tagging
along.”
“Friendsupport,Ilikethat.WouldyoumindifItookaseat?”
“No.Notatall.”Ipattedthespotnexttome.
“Iseeyouladiesdon’thavedrinksyet.MayIgetyousomethingfromthebar?”
“I’llhaveacosmopolitan.”Icasuallysmiled.
“AndI’llhaveaglassofPinot,”Clairespoke.
After Jack left to go to the bar, Claire excused herself to the bathroom. I sat there,
watching all the men and women mingle, wondering how many of them would find
someonetonightandhowmanyofthemenwouldn’tcallthenextday.WhileIwaitedfor
mydrinkandClaire,IpulledoutmyphoneandsentamessagetoMobileMan.
“Hi.I’monthehunt,lol.”
“Hi.Justbecareful.Therearesomerealweirdosoutthere.Ifyouneedme,textme.”
Hesentthewinkyface.
“Thanks.ButIcantakecareofmyself.”
IlookedupfrommyphoneandgaspedwhenIsawChristianandhisfriendPeterwalk
in.Myheartstartedracingandtheairaroundmebecamethick.
“Hereyougo.”Jacksmiledashehandedmemydrink.“Where’syourfriend?”
“Rightbehindyou,”Clairereplied.
“Excuseusforamoment,Jack,butIneedtospeakwithClaire.”
Grabbingholdofherarm,Iledheroverintheoppositecornerbehindaplasticpalm
tree.
“What?”sheasked.
“WhythefuckisChristianhere?”Ispokethroughgrittedteeth.
“Huh?OhmyGod!”sheshrieked.“Christianishere?Where?”Shelookedaround.
“Overthere!”Ipointed.“Bythebar.”
Hereyesdivertedovertothebar.“He’swithPeter.”
“Yeah.Icanseethat.Wehavetogetoutofhere!”Iexclaimed.
“Why?”
“Becausewhatwillhethink?IturneddownhisoffertotakemeoutandnowI’mata
singlesmixer?”
“Ohyeah.Iforgotaboutthat.Nottomentionyouhadsexwithhim.”
“Ugh!Let’sgo.”
IdownedmydrinkasfastasIcould.
“Howarewegoingtosneakout?”Claireasked.“He’sgoingtoseeus.”
“Followme.”
Igrabbedherhand,duckeddown,andtriedtoweaveinandoutofthecrowdofpeople.
Christian
The moment I walked in, I spotted Eloise sitting on the couch looking down at her
phone.Ineededtoactcasual,soPeterandIhitthebarfirstforadrink.Whilewewere
waitingforourdrinkstobemade,IsawEloiseandClairetryingtoescape.Shemusthave
seenme,butIwasn’tgoingtolethergetawaythateasily.
“Peter,stopthosetwo.”Ipointed.“I’llgrabourdrinks.Becasual.”
PetersmiledandheadedtowardEloiseandClairewhileIstoodthereandwatchedhim
stop them dead in their tracks. After grabbing our drinks from the bar, I walked over to
wherethethreeofthemwerestanding.
“Eloise?Claire?Whatareyoudoinghere?”IaskedasIhandedPeterhisdrink.
“Whywouldn’twebehere?It’sasinglesmixer,”Clairespoke.
“Butyou’renotsingle.”
“She’sherewithme,”Eloisespokeasshestoodtall.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“Likeshesaid,it’sasinglesmixerandI’msingle.”Ismirked.
“Youdon’tappeartobethetypetocometothesethings,”shespoke.
“Whattypedoesapersonhavetobetoattend?”Iarchedmybrow.”
“Well,I’mheretakingphotographsforanarticle.”
“Where’syourcamera?”Iaskedwithanarrowedeye.
Peter took Claire by the arm and escorted her to the bar to give Eloise and me some
alonetime.
“I’mtakingpictureswithmyphone.Smile,”shespokeasshesnappedapictureofme.
“Ithinkyou’relying.Youwouldn’tdothat.”
“Fine,Christian.It’salongstoryandIreallydon’twanttogetintoit.”
“Ihaveallnight,sweetheart.”Igrinned.
“I’mdoingresearchforablogIrun.It’sforrelationshipadvice.”
Ichuckled.
“You,thewomanwhowon’tgooutonadatewithme,givesrelationshipadvice?”
“It’scomplicated.”
“Soyou’renotheretomeetanyonespecial?”Iasked.
“No. It’s purely business/blog related. I told you that I’m not ready to date anyone. I
swearI’mtellingyouthetruth.”
“Okay.Well,Iamheretoexploremyoptions,soI’llletyougodoyourresearch.”
“Youare?”Shecockedherhead.
“Ofcourse.WhyelsewouldIbehere?”Ismiled.
PeterandClairewalkedovertousandIheldmyglassuptoPeter’s.
“Let’sgoexploreouroptions.Shallwe?”Igrinned.
“Weshall.”Petersmiledashetippedhisglassagainstmine.
****
Eloise
Christian and Peter walked away and I stood there with a feeling of—I don’t know
whatthehellitwas.AllIknewwasthatIwasuncomfortablewithChristianbeinghere.
“See.”Clairesmiled.“Nobigdeal.Youwereworriedfornothing.”
IswallowedhardasIwatchedChristianwalkuptosometallbrunettewhohadmore
Botoxandfillersthannaturalbeauty.
“Whatever.”Iscowledatherandwalkedaway.
“Thereyouare,Eloise.”Jacksmiled.“Canwegettoknoweachotherbetternow?”
I glanced over at Christian, who was laughing with the brunette and lightly touching
herarm.
“Ofcoursewecan.”IhookedmyarmaroundJack’s.
Iledhimoverbythebarandheorderedmeanothercosmopolitan.Afterhehandedme
my drink, we took a seat on an empty couch and began to talk. My eyes wouldn’t stop
divertingovertowhereChristianwasflirtingwiththatwoman.Alumpgrewintheback
ofmythroatwitheachfingerstrokedownherarmandherfingerstrokesdownhischest.
“Eloise?AmIboringyouorsomething?”Jackasked.
“Umm.No,ofcoursenot.Ihavesomequestionsforyouifyoudon’tmind.”
“Goaheadandaskaway.”Hesmiled.
Iquestionedhim,andhewillinglyansweredbutwithastrangelookonhisface.
“These are some really weird questions. Maybe you’re not the woman I thought you
were.”Hegotupfromthecouch.
“Inallhonesty,Jack,I’mnot.”Ilightlysmiled.
“Wellthen,I’llbemovingon.”
IgavehimanodjustasClairewalkedoverandsatdown.
“Wherewereyou?”Iasked.
“Checkingoutthecrowd,beinghiton,andlisteninginonpeople’sconversations.”She
grinned.
IfinishedmydrinkjustasChristianwalkedovertomeandClaire.
“Anyluck?”Hesmirked.
“Notreally.ButIseeyoufoundsomeone.”Icockedmyhead.
“YoumeanBrio?She’sanicewomanandshewantstogooutwithme.”
“Goodforyou,Christian.”Istoodupandpattedhischest.“Ihopethetwoofyouhave
fun.”
Therewasadiscontent,ananger,sotospeak,risinginmychest.Ineededtogetoutof
hereandfast.
“Areyouready,Claire?”
“Yeah.Ifyouare.”
“I’m more than ready.” I looked at Christian. “Enjoy the rest of your evening, Mr.
Blake.I’llseeyouinacoupleofdays.”
“Youtoo,MissMoore,”hespokewithacockyattitude.
IgrabbedClairebythehandandhigh-taileditofftherooftopasquicklyasIcould.
“Whatiswrongwithyou?Youcan’tseriouslybejealousaboutChristian.Youturned
himdown,remember?”shespoke.
“IrememberandI’mnotjealous.I’mtiredandIwanttogohome.”
WeclimbedintothebackofacabandsinceClaire’sapartmentwascloser,thedriver
droppedherofffirst.
“YouknowyoucanalwayschangeyourmindaboutgoingoutwithChristian.”
“I’mnotchangingmymind.Idon’tgiveafuckwhohedates.Butitsureashellisn’t
goingtobeme.”
She sighed as she climbed out of the cab and shut the door. Pulling out my phone, I
sentatextmessagetotheonlypersonwhoIknewwouldmakemefeelokay.
“Hey.Sortofabadnight.”
“Hey.Yoursinglesmixerdidn’tgotoowell?”
“Notreally.”
“Wanttotalkaboutit?”
“It’s just this guy that wants me to go out with him. He was there and he ended up
meetingsomeone.”
“Ah.Whywon’tyougooutwiththisguy?You’realwaysgoingondates.”
“Becausehe’sthetypeofmanIcouldfallforinasecond,andthat’ssomethingIdon’t
want.”
“Allbecauseofyourpastrelationships?”
“Yeah.Iguess.I’mtakingabreakfromguysandseriousdating.”
“What’stheharm,Digits?Maybethetwoofyouwon’tevenhititoffandthenyoudon’t
havetoworryaboutit.”
“Trust me, we’ll hit it off. The physical attraction is so strong. I have to tell you
something.”
“Whatisit?”
“Wehadsexinhisbathroomnottoolongago.ItjusthappenedandIfreakedout.Now
I’mgoingtobedoingafreelancejobforhim.We’regoingtoChicagoonFriday.”
“Soafteryouhadsexandfreakedout,youstilltalktohim?”
“Sortof.Iranintohimthenextdayandheapologizedtomeforthebathroomsex.”
“Thatwasniceofhim.Iwouldsayhewasatruegentlemantodothat.”
“Heis.He’sagreatguy.”
“Thenwhat’stheproblem”
“TheproblemisIcan’tgivemyselftoanyoneagain.Atleastnotforalongtime.Ihave
other things I need to focus on and guys and dating aren’t one of them. I need to focus
solelyonmyselffornow.”
“Youneverknow,Digits.Hecouldbetheonetochangeyourlife.”
“Orhecouldbetheonetodestroyit.”
“You’rebeingparanoid.”
“Ihavereasontobe,MobileMan.”
“Someofthegreatestgiftsinlifeareontheothersideoffear.Ithinkyou’reafraidto
gethurtagain,soyou’veputupthiswallaroundyourheart.”
“He’saserialdaterandhenevercommits.Foronceinmylife,I’musingmyhead.I
justgothomeandI’mexhausted.Catchyalater?”
“Catchyalater,Digits.Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,MobileMan.”
Christian
Isetmyphonedownandsighed.ShewasdefinitelyjealousaboutBrio,andinaweird
way,thatmademehappy.Shedidlikeme,andIknewdamnwellshewasinterested,but
shewasresisting.Hopefully,afterourtriptoChicago,shewouldfeeldifferently.
Pickingupmyphone,IsentatextmessagetoClaire.
“Hi,Claire.Thankyoufortonight.”
“You’re welcome, Christian, but I hated doing that to my best friend. If I didn’t think
youweretherightguyforher,Iwouldn’thavedoneit.”
“Iknowyouwouldn’thaveandIappreciateit.I’llseeyoutomorrowattheoffice.”
“Seeyoutomorrow.”
Thenextmorning,IstoppedatStarbuckstograbacupofcoffeebeforeheadinginto
theoffice.AsIsteppedinside,Iturnedaroundtoseeifanyonewasbehindmetoholdthe
dooropen.ThatwaswhenIsawEloisewalkup.
“Goodmorning.”Ismiled.
“Christian.Goodmorning,”shespokeasshelookedatmewithconfusion.“Whatare
youdoinghere?Don’tyouhavecoffeeatyouroffice?”Shesmirked.
“Ido,butsometimesIliketostophereandgrabacupontheway.Whataboutyou?
Don’tyouhaveacoffeemakerathome?”
“Ido,butIlikewhatStarbuckshastoofferbetter.”
“Actually,I’mgladIranintoyou.Sincewe’releavingtomorrowmorningforChicago,
Ithoughtmaybesometimetodayortonight,wecouldsitdownandgooverafewideasfor
theshoot.”
“Iwaswonderingaboutthat.Ithoughtmaybeyoujusttrustedmeenoughtowingit.”
Shegrinned.
“Ido,butIthinkit’sinbothourbestinteresttohaveameetingfirst.Justsoneitherone
ofuscatchestheotheroffguard.”
“I agree. I’m sure dinner is out of the question since you’re probably going out with
thatwomanfromlastnight.”
“Actually,Ihaven’tsetanythingupwithheryet,soIamfreetonight.Thatis,ifyou’re
free.Orareyouplanningonattendinganothersinglesmixer?”
Sheletoutalightlaugh,whichmademysmilegrowwide.
“IthinkI’mdonewiththosesinglesmixers.”
“Then how about dinner? Strictly professional.” I put up my hands. “All we’ll talk
aboutisbusiness.”
Sheglaredatmeforamomentandthenthewomanthatwasstandingbehindherspoke
up.
“You’d be crazy not to have dinner with him. Even if it is strictly business.” She
winked.
Eloiseturnedandlookedatme.
“Dinnerwillbefine,butIcan’tbeoutlatesinceourflightleavesatanungodlyhourin
themorning.”
“Iagree.Icanpickyouuparoundsixo’clock.”
“JusttellmewhichrestaurantandI’llmeetyouthereatsix.”Shesmirked.
“Shit, honey, I’d give anything for him to come to my house and pick me up,” the
womanbehindherspoke.
Igavethewomanasmallsmileandthenitwasmyturntoorder.
“Your coffee is on me today, Eloise. Tell her what you want. And you also, miss.” I
smiled.
As soon as our coffee was ready, the woman thanked me and began fanning herself
whileshelookedatEloiseasshewalkedoutofStarbucks.
“Thatwasniceofyoutobuyhercoffee.Youmadeherday,”Eloisespoke.
“It’stheleastIcoulddosinceshewasrootingforme.”Ismirked.
“HowaboutTavernontheGreentonight?”sheaskedaswebothwalkedoutthedoor.
“Soundsgood.I’llseeyouatsix.”IwinkedasIwalkeddownthestreetandhaileda
cab.
What a way to start off the day. I could spend every morning seeing her first thing
beforeheadingintotheoffice.Shelookedasbeautifulasever,andnotonlywasIlooking
forward to our dinner tonight, I couldn’t wait to spend the next three days with her in
Chicago.
WhenIarrivedattheoffice,myphonedingedwithatextmessagefromDigits.Asmile
crossedmylips.
“Goodmorning,sunshine!”
“Goodmorning.Youseemtobeinagoodmood.Feelingbetterfromlastnight?”
“Iam.Iwantedtothankyouforlisteningtomelastnight.IknowIkindofdumpeda
lotonyou.”
“You’rewelcome.That’swhatfriendsarefor.Plus,Ilikebeinghereforyou.”
“Thanks.I’mhereforyoutoo,MobileMan.Don’teverforgetthat.”
“Iwon’t.Iappreciateyou,Digits.”
“Iappreciateyoutoo.Anyprogressonthewomansituation?”
“Alittlebit.”Isentthesmileyemoji.
“Good to hear. I just got home and need to start doing some work now. Catch ya
later?”
“Always.Catchyalater,Digits.Haveagreatday.”
“Youtoo,MobileMan.”
“Ialreadyam.”
Afteranawesomeproductivitymeetingwithmystaff,Peterfollowedmebacktomy
office.
“Guesswhohasadatetonight?”hespoke.
“I’mgoingtogooutonalimbhereandsayyoudo.”
“That’s right.” He smirked. “I texted Rebecca this morning and we’re having dinner
tonight.”
“Isshetheblondeyouweretalkingtoatthesinglesmixer?”
“Shesureis.”Hegrinned.
“Good for you, Peter. I’m having dinner tonight with Eloise. We’re going to go over
someideasfortheChanelshoot.”
“Lookslikewe’rebothscoringtonight.”Hefist-bumpedme.
“Mydinnerisstrictlybusiness.”
“Howarethingsgoingwiththatchickyoutexteveryday?Anychanceofmeetingher
yet?”
“Nah.ShelikesthingsthewaytheyareandIrespectthat.”
“I still think she’s probably some two-hundred-fifty-pound girl who sits on the couch
with a computer in her lap all day. Why else wouldn’t she want to meet you? She’s
probablyembarrassedbythewayshelooks.”
“Looksaren’teverything.She’sanicegirlandIliketalkingtoher.”
“Suityourself,bro.Istillthinkit’sfuckingweird,andlooksaren’teverything?Yeah,
right.”Helaughed.
“Don’tyouhaveworktodo?”Iaskedwithannoyance.
“Yeah.I’llseeyoulater.”
Eloise
WhenIarrivedbackhome,Isetmycoffeecupdownonthetable,grabbedmylaptop,
andbeganeditingyesterday’sblogvideo.Iwasalmostfinishedwiththelasteditwhenmy
phonerang.IlookedoverandsawitwasNatalieface-timingme.
“Hello,”Iansweredwithasmile.
“Hello,darling.WhatisthisIhearaboutyougoingtoChicagowithChristianBlake?
Andwhyhaven’tyoutoldme?”sheaskedwithahintofirritation.
“I’vebeenbusywithwork.I’msorry.Itkindofhappenedsofast.I’mdoingaChanel
photoshootforChristian’sadvertisingagency.Isn’tthatexciting?”
“Chanel is exciting, yes. But, my lovely grounded friend, I’m not so sure going with
Christian is a good idea. You may get swept up in the windy city with him. Which, of
course,isfineifthat’swhatyouwant.”
Irolledmyeyesather.
“Thistripisstrictlybusiness.Besides,hemetsomeoneatthesinglesmixerlastnight.
HernameisBrio.Like,seriously,whatkindofnameisthat?”Ifrowned.
“Isenseahintofjealousyinyourtone.”Shesmiled.
“Ha.I’mnotjealousatall.It’sjusthernameisweird.Don’tyouthink?”
Sheshrugged.“Ithinkit’skindofcoolanddifferent.”
“Whatever.Anyway,I’malmostfinishedwiththeeditsformyfirstblogvideo.Assoon
asI’mdone,I’llsenditovertoyou.”
“Sounds good. I can’t wait to see it. By the way, are you still talking to that Mobile
Manguy?”
“Yes. Every day.” I grinned. “I’m actually giving him some advice on a woman he’s
interestedin.”
“Sohetextsyoueveryday?Andrespondsinatimelymanner?”
“Yes.Heusuallyrespondsrightawayandviceversa.”
“Soundsliketheperfectmantome.Ithinkyoushouldmeethim.”
“Ithinknot.”Iarchedmybrow.“Enoughabouthim.How’sHawaiiandNathan?”
“HawaiiisamazingandsoisNathan.Unfortunately,hehadtoflybacktoLongIsland
today.ButhesaidassoonasIgetback,he’stakingmeout.”
“Yousleptwithhim,didn’tyou?”Iasked.
“Maybe.”Shesmiled.
“Well,I’mhappyforyou.”
“Thanks, doll. I could be happy for you too if you let your guard down and meet
MobileMan.Hesoundslikeaniceguy.”
“Heisandwe’retextbuddiesandthat’sallwe’lleverbe.”
Shesighedandrolledhereyes.
“Ihavetogo.I’llbehomeinafewdaysandwe’llcatchup.”
“Okay.Enjoytherestofyourtrip.”
“EnjoyChicago,andifanythinghappens,youbettercallmerightaway!Idon’twant
tobehearingaboutitfromClaireorScarlett.”
“Iwill.”Ilaughed.
I finished the edits and sent the video off to Natalie, Claire, and Scarlett, then
proceededtouploadittomyblog.IalsodecidedtostartaYouTubechannel.Whatbetter
waytoreachmillionsofwomenfromallovertheworld.
AfterIfinishedrecordingmysecondvideo,itwastimeformetofreshenupandget
readyfordinnerwithChristian.Ihatedthefactthatabitofexcitementflutteredinsideme.
IwasputtingmyshoesonwhenIheardmyphoneding.
“Planstonight?”MobileManasked.
“Actually,yes.I’mjustheadingouttodinner.”
“Adate?”
“No.It’sabusinessdinner.You?”
“Havingdinnerwithabeautifulwoman.”
“Ihopeyoumeanthesamewomanyou’rechasingafter.”
“Ofcourse.She’stheonlywomanI’minterestedin.”
“Goodforyou!Howdidyougethertohavedinnerwithyou?”
“Itookyouradvice.Soonceagain,thankyou.”
“You’rewelcome.Ihopeitgoeswellforyou.Don’tbeadouchebag.”
“IpromiseIwon’tbe.Infact,Idon’tthinkIevercouldbewiththiswoman.”
“Soundslikeyoumighthavefoundyoursoulmate,MobileMan.”
“MaybeIhave,Digits.We’llsee.Enjoyyourbusinessdinner.Catchyalater?”
“Always.Iwantallthedetails.Catchyalater.”
****
IsteppedinsideTavernontheGreenandtoldthehostessIwasmeetingsomeone.
“Hi,I’mmeetingChristianBlake.Ishehereyet?”
“Heis.”Shenodded.“Followme.”
Ifollowedhertoatablethatsatinthemiddleoftherestaurantandtooktheseatacross
fromChristian.
“Hi.”Hesmiled.
“Hi.”
“I’vetakenthelibertyoforderingabottleoftheirhousewine.Ihopethat’sokay.”
“Soundsgood.Thankyou.”Iplacedmynapkininmylap.
SwandiveswerehappeninginthepitofmystomachasIlookedathim.Thisfeeling
wastorturousandIneededittostop.
“AreyouallpackedforChicago?”heaskedaswebothglancedoverthemenu.
“No.”Ilightlylaughed.“I’lldothatwhenIgethome.Areyou?”
“No.”Hesmirked.“Ifyouhaveaformaldress,itwouldbewisetobringit.Wewillbe
attendingaChaneldinneronFridaynight.”
“Doyoualwaysdothis?”Icockedmyhead.
“Dowhat?”
“Waituntilthelastminutetospringstuffonpeople?”
Hechuckled.“I’msorry.IjustfoundoutaboutthedinnerrightbeforeIarrivedatthe
restaurant.”
“Oh.Well,inthatcase,you’reforgiven.AndIdohaveaformaldressIcanbring.”
“Good.I’msureitlooksbeautifulonyou.”Hewinked.
Icouldfeeltheriseofheatinmycheeks.Afterweplacedourdinnerorder,Christian
and I got down to business. As we were talking about the shoot and jotting down some
ideas,awomanstoppedatourtableandglaredatChristian.
“Well.Well.Lookwhoitis.Mr.ChristianBlake,”thewomanspokeinaharshtone.
Christianclearedhisthroat.“Hello,Cheyenne.”
“Isthatallyoucansay?”sheaskedwithherhandsplacedfirmlyonherhips.“Ihaven’t
heardfromyousinceourdate.Isentyouafewtextmessagesonlytonevergetaresponse
fromyou.”
“I’msorry.I’vebeenreallybusy.”
“Toobusytoshootafuckingtextback?Atextthatwouldliterallytakethirtyseconds
orlessofyourtime?”
“Nowisn’tthetime,Cheyenne,”Christianspokeinirritation.
“Who’sthis?”Shelookedoveratmewithanevileye.“Isthisyourfirstdate?‘Cause
guesswhat,honey,hewon’tbecallingyouaftertonight.”
It was apparent Christian had ghosted her and she was angry. I didn’t blame her
becauseI’dbeeninhershoesmoretimesthanIcouldcount.
“Heisn’tworthit,Cheyenne,”Ispoke.
“Excuseme?”Shecockedherhead.
“The anger, the resentment, the hurt. You’re a beautiful woman. I can tell you’re
confidentandyou’restrong.Youknowyourself-worth,don’tyou?”
“OfcourseIdo.”Shearchedherbrow.
“Then you know you’re better than him and he doesn’t deserve this attention you’re
givingrightnow.Andyouknowwhy?”
“Why?”sheasked.
“Because you’re giving him power over you. And you don’t strike me as the type of
woman who would let someone have that kind of power. He clearly has communication
issuesandemotionalimmaturityifhecouldn’textendthecourtesyoftextingyouback.Is
thatthekindofmanyouwanttobewithorevengoonadatewith?”
“No.”Sheshookherhead.
“Ididn’tthinkso.Doyoustillhavehisnumberinyourphone?”
“Yes.Why?”
“I want you to delete his number right now. You can do it, Cheyenne. Having his
numberinyourphoneisstillgivinghimpoweroveryou.BecauseIknowthere’sthislittle
bitofhopethatyou’llstillhearfromhim.AmIright?”
“Maybe.”
“Takebackyourpower.”Ismiled.
“You’re right.” She pulled out her phone, held it up to Christian, and deleted his
numberinfrontofhim.“You’rehistory,Mr.Blake.”Cheyenneturnedtome,andwitha
smile,shespoke,“Ihopeyou’lltakeyourownadviceifhedoesthesametoyou.”
“He won’t. We aren’t dating. I’m doing some photography work for his advertising
agency. This is nothing but a business dinner. But if you should need any further
assistanceoradviceondating,here’smybusinesscard.”IsmiledasIhandedittoher.
“Thankyou.”Shegrinnedasshetookitfrommeandwalkedaway.
“Really?”Iarchedmybrowathim.
“Reallywhat?”
“Youghostedher?”Icockedmyhead.
Hesighedandrolledhiseyes.
“Yeah.IguessIdid.”
“Andyouthinkthat’sokay?”
“No. Not after hearing what you just said to her. And for the record, I am not
emotionallyimmature.”Hepointedatme.
“Youareifyoudidthat.Whatisitwithyouguysandconfrontation?”
“I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her I didn’t want to see her again.” He
finishedoffhiswine.
“Andyoudon’tthinkthatgoingghostishurtingherfeelings?”
“I’msorry.Ididn’tlookatitthatway.IjustfiguredifIdidn’ttextherback,she’dget
thehint.”
“Womenneedclosure,Christian.Evenifitwasonlyafteronedate.It’scalledrespect.”
“Okay.Igetit.Ireallydo.Butit’sdonenow.Solet’sgetbacktodiscussingideasfor
theshoot.”
Ifoldedmyarmsandsatupstraightinmychair.
“Youneedtoapologizetoher.”
Christian
Shit.Iknewthatwascoming.ShemademedoitwithVictoria,orshouldIsayDigits
did.IthoughtmaybeIwasoffthehookwhenshedidn’tmakemedoitwhileCheyenne
was standing there. I glared at her from across the table, but I knew how important this
was to her. Even though she never directly told me about what she was doing, I knew
everythingfromwhatsheasDigitstoldmeviatext.
“Fine. I will apologize to her,” I spoke as I got up from my seat and walked over to
whereCheyennewassittingandwaitingforsomeonetojoinher.“Excuseme,Cheyenne.
MayIhaveawordwithyou?”
“We’redonespeaking,Christian.”Herbrowarchedatme.
“Thiswillonlytakeaminute.Iwanttoapologizetoyou.I’msorryforignoringyour
textmessagesandnotcallingyouafterourdate.ItwasrudeanddisrespectfulandIhadno
ideathatitwouldupsetyou.Youdidn’tdeservethat.”
“You’re right. I didn’t deserve it, but since you were man enough to apologize, I
accept.”
“Thankyou.Iappreciateit.”
“Nowmovealong.Mydatewillbehereshortly,”shespokeasshesippedherdrink.
Walking back to the table, I took my seat and stared at Eloise, who was sitting there
withagrinonherface.
“Thankyou.”Sheheldupherglasstome.
“No.Thankyou.”IsmiledasIclinkedmyglassagainsthers.
AfterwefinisheddinnerandtalkedsomemoreabouttheChanelshoot,Ipaidthebill
andwelefttherestaurant.
“Ithinkthatwasaveryproductivebusinessdinner.”Ismiled.
“Ithinksotoo.”
“Youareactuallyonmywayhome.Howaboutsharingacab?”
“Sure.”Thecornersofhermouthcurvedupwards.
I hailed us a cab and climbed in next to her. Since our dinner consisted mostly of
businesstalk,Ithoughtthiswouldbeagoodopportunitytoaskheraboutherblog,even
thoughIalreadyknewalittleaboutit.
“When we were at the singles mixer, you mentioned something about your blog and
aboutrelationshipadvice.Whatexactlydidyoumeanbythat?”Iasked.
“It’sreallynobigdeal.”Shewavedherhandinfrontofherface.
“I’dstillliketohearaboutit.”
Icouldseethehesitationinhereyesasshestaredatmeforamoment.
“I’m doing a piece on #Delete. It’s for women who are in the early stages of a
relationship.”
“Andwhatdoesthatmean?”Iasked.
“Iwanttoempowerwomentoknowtheirself-worthandstandardswhendatingaguy.
So,ifaguybehavesbadly,it’sintheirbestinteresttodeletethemfromtheirphoneand
lifebeforetheygettooinvolved.”
“Andwhatqualifiesasamanbehavingbadly?”Inarrowedmyeyeather.
“Ghostingwouldbenumberone.”Herbrowarched.“Lowinvestment,lying,benching,
breadcrumbing. The point is if a guy is really interested in a woman, he would do
whateverittakestogettoknowher.Textinginatimelymanner,callingwhenhesayshe
will,neverflakingonadate.Thatwouldbeconsideredhighinvestment.Ifaguyisjust
stringingthegirlalongandhasnointentionsofwantingarelationshipwithher,thenit’s
timeforhimtogo.”
“Isee.Andhowdoesagirlknowiftheguyisjuststringingheralong.”
“They never commit to dates. They send text messages sporadically when they’re
boredorlonelywiththehopesthatthewomanisstillwaitingaround,andwhentheyget
thatreply,theiregogetsboostedforawhileandthey’resatisfied.Thenthey’lldisappear
againforawhileandsuddenlypoof,sendanothertextmessage.Theproblemiswomen
becomeattachedtooquickly.Theydiveinwithbothfeetandignoretheredflagsthatpop
up.”
“Isthatsomethingyou’vedoneordo?”
“I’vedoneitmanytimesinmylife.Andno,it’ssomethingIdon’tanymore.I’mhappy
beingsingleandIbelievethat’swhatwomenneedtolearnfirst.I’dspenttoomanyyears
tryingtofindtheperfectmanlikemydadbecauseIwantedthekindofrelationshipheand
my mom have. I guess you could say I was obsessed. And because of that, I held onto
guyswhoweren’tgoodformeforfartoolong.Iignoredtheredflagsand/orthesigns.I
gavetheseguyswaytoomuchpowerovermeandnowIwanttohelpwomenwhoarein
thesamesituationtaketheirpowerback.Nomorestaringattheirphonewaitingforaguy
who said he’d call or text and doesn’t. No more giving him multiple chances when he
cancelsadatemorethanonce.Nomoreputtingtheirlifeonholdbecauseofwhataguy
saysbutneverfollowsthrough.Actionsspeakmoretruththanwordsdoandwomenneed
tounderstandthat.”
“Sowhythesinglesmixer?”Iasked.
“Justtryingtogetinsidetheheadsofmenandfindoutthereasonsbehindwhytheydo
whattheydo.”
Thecabpulleduptoherapartmentbuildingandsheclimbedout.
“Thankyoufordinner,”shespoke.
“You’rewelcome.YouhavesomegreatideasandI’mexcitedaboutthisshoot.I’llbe
byatfivea.m.”Iwinked.
“I’llbereadyandwaiting.Haveagoodnight,Mr.Blake.”
“Youtoo,MissMoore.”
Sheshutthedoorandwalkedinsidethebuilding.Therewassomuchmoretoherthan
I’d imagined and I knew I had my work cut out for me if I wanted to win her over. I
wantedtotextDigitstoseewhatshehadtosayabouttheevening.However,Idecidedto
waitatleastanhourbeforemessagingher.
Eloise
Iopenedthedoortomyapartmentwithasmileonmyface.Theeveningwentwelland
IenjoyedspendingitwithChristian.ThemoreIopeneduptohimaboutmylife,themore
comfortableIfelt.HewaseasytotalktoandIwasprettyexcitedabouttheChicagotrip.
But I was also nervous. What I was nervous about, I wasn’t sure. Again, he kept the
evening strictly professional. I admired him for that because he seemed to respect my
boundaries.Therewasnoflirtingandnoattemptofakiss.
AsIwaspackingmysuitcase,myphonedingedwithatextmessagefromMobileMan.
“Hi.Isyourbusinessdinnerover?”
“Hi.Yes.I’mjustpackingformytriptomorrow.You’rehomefromyourdatealready?”
“Yes.Ihaveanearlymeetingtomorrow.”
“And?Howdiditgo?”
“It went great. I couldn’t have asked for a better night or a better person to spend it
with.Tellmehowyourbusinessdinnerwent.”
“Itwentwell.Ihadagoodtime.”
“Thismeetingwasn’twiththatguyyouweretellingmeabout,wasit?Theoneyou’re
doingsomefreelanceworkfor?”
“Asamatteroffact,itwas.”Isentthesadfaceemoji.
“Whythesadface?”
“Because it’s getting harder not to fall for him. I know what you’re going to say, so
pleasedon’t.”
“Okay.Iwon’t.Youneedtodowhat’srightforyou,Digits.Butjustletthingshappen
naturally.Ifyou’remeanttobewiththisguy,thenyoucan’tfightit.Youcan’tfightfate.”
“Youbelieveinfate,MobileMan?”
“Ido.Justlikeitwasfatethatyousentmethatveryfirsttext.Nowlookatus.Thisguy
wasputinyourlifeforareason,maybeitwouldn’tbesobadtoseewhatthatreasonis.”
“It’sgettinglateandIhavetofinishpackingandgetsomesleep.Catchyalater?”
“Catchyalater,Digits.Goodnightandhaveasafetrip.”
“Goodnight,MobileMan.Thankyou!”
****
“Firstclass?”IarchedmybrowatChristian.
“It’stheonlywaytofly.”Hesmirked.
Shortlyaftertheplanetookoff,andwhileChristianandIwereeatingourbreakfast,a
womanwalkedovertoourseats.
“Excuseme.You’reEloise,aren’tyou?”Shesmiled.
“Iam.”
“OhmyGod.Itoldmyfrienditwasyou.I’mKatherineandI’mahugefan.”Sheheld
outherhandinexcitement.
“It’snicetomeetyou,Katherine.”
“I just love your blog and that video you posted yesterday on ghosting was
phenomenal. I recently went through it and it was devastating. But after watching your
video,Ican’teventellyouhowmuchbetterandmoreconfidentIfeel.Thankyou.”Tears
sprangtohereyes.
“Katherine,that’ssosweet.Thankyou.”
“Pleasetellmeyou’regoingtodomorevideos.”
“Iam.Infact,I’mgoingtoeditoneafterbreakfastandhopefullygetituptoday.”
“I’mlookingforwardtoit.”Shegrinned.“Areyouwithhim?”sheaskedasshepointed
toChristian.
“Yes.I’mdoingsomefreelanceworkforhisadvertisingagency.”
“Oh.Soyou’renot—”Shewiggledherfingerbackandforth.
“Dating?No.”Ismiled.
“He’s so hot,” she mouthed and gave me a wink. “I can’t wait to tell everyone I met
you.I’llleaveyoutoyourbreakfastsoyoucanhurryupandgetthatvideoposted.”
Igaveherasmile,andwhenshewalkedaway,Christianglancedoveratme.
“Lookslikeyou’reacelebrity.”
“Pfft.”Iwavedmyhandinfrontofmyface.
Heletoutachuckleandcontinuedeatinghisbreakfast.
WearrivedinChicago,andbytimewegottotheSofitelHotel,itwastenthirty.
“Why did we get here so early if check-in isn’t until three o’clock and we aren’t
meetingthepeoplefromChaneluntiltonight?”Iaskedwithcuriosity.
“Whynot?Don’tyouwanttoexploreChicago?”Christiansmiled.
“Ofcourse.”
ThemanbehindthelobbydeskclickedawayathiscomputerandlookedatChristian.
“Actually,Mr.Blake.Yourroomsarereadynowifyou’dliketotakeyourluggageup.
You’reinrooms3212and3213.”
“Perfect.”Christiansmiled.
We took the elevator up to the thirty-second floor. Once we arrived at our rooms,
Christianstoppedinfrontofthedoorandlookedatme.
“Whichroomdoyouwant?”
“Idon’tcare.Whichonedoyouwant?”
“Itdoesn’tmattertome.Bothroomsarethesame.”
“Ihaveanidea.”Ismiled.“Holdthekeycardsoutinfrontofyou.”
Iplacedmyhandovermyeyesandtookonefromhishands.
“LookslikeI’minroom3213,”IspokeasIinsertedthecardintothelockandopened
thedoor.“LetmefreshenupandthenwecanhitthestreetsofChicago.”
“Soundsgood.Justknockontheadjoiningdoorwhenyou’reready.”
IenteredmyroomandlookedaroundasIsetmybagsonthekingsizebed.Thedécor
wasveryurbanchicwithabeigeandredtheme.Istoodinfrontofthewindowandtookin
theamazingcityview.Pullingmyphonefrommypurse,IsentMobileManapicture.
“Roomview.Whatdoyouthink?”
“Ithinkit’sbeautiful.Haveagoodtimewhileyou’rethereanddon’tsweatthesmall
stuff,Digits.”
“Thanks, Mobile Man. I won’t. We’re getting ready to hit the streets and explore
Chicago.Catchyalater?”
“Catchyalater.”
I unpacked my makeup bag and took it into the bathroom to freshen up. Once I was
done,Iknockedontheadjoiningdoortoourrooms.Christianopeneditwithasmileon
hisfaceandmykneeswentweak.
“Areyouready?”heasked.
“Areyou?”Ismirked.
“I’malwaysready.”Hiscunningsmilesentbutterfliesdownbelow.
WeleftthehotelandstartedalongtheMagnificentMile.Itwasabeautifulfallday.Not
toowarmandnottoocool.Justaperfectseventy-onedegreeswithoutacloudinthesky.
“WeneedtostopinBloomingdale’s,”Christianspoke.
“IlikeBloomingdale’s.”Ismiled.“Istheresomethingspecificyouneedtoget?”
“Somemorecologne.Infact,I’mthinkingyoushouldpicksomeuptoo.”
Shit.Hiscolognedrovemeinsaneasitwas.Healwayssmelledlikehejuststeppedout
ofmen’smagazine.
“Idon’tneedanyperfume,”Ispoke.
“Idon’teither,butifwe’redoingashootforChanel,Ithinkitwouldbeagoodideato
purchasetheircologne/perfumeandwearit.”
“Ah.”Inodded.“Igetwhatyou’resaying.Wearthescentandgetinspired.”
“Yes.”Hegavemeawink.
WesteppedintoBloomingdale’sandheadedtowardstheChanelcounter.
“May I help you?” The older and attractive woman behind the counter asked with a
smileasshelookedatChristian.
“I’minterestedinChanelcologneformen.”HegraciouslysmiledbackandIrolledmy
eyes.
Shegrabbedtwodifferentbottlesfromthedisplayandsettheminfrontofus.
“Theseareourmostpopular.”
ChristianpickedupthebottlelabeledAllureHommeSportandIpickedupthebottle
ofBleudeChanel.
“Whatdoyouthink?”heaskedasheheldthebottleofAllureuptomynose.
“Thatoneisnice,butsoisthisone.”
“Hmm.Thatsmellsbold,”hespoke.
“Thequestioniswhichonedoesyourgirlfriendlikebetter?”Thesaleswomansmiled.
“I’mnothisgirlfriend.Weworktogether,soitdoesn’tmatterwhichoneIlike.”
“Ithinkitdoes.”Christiansmirkedatmeinaflirtatiousway.
Itightenedmylegstostopthefierceachethatresidedinsideme.Theachethatonlyhe
couldsatisfy.Shit.IhatedthisandIhatedhimfordoingittome.
“If I were you, I would go with Bleu de Chanel. You seem like a bold man and you
shouldbewearingaboldfragrance.”Thesaleswomangrinned.
“Okay.I’lltakeit.”
I sighed as I walked over to the women’s perfume and picked up each bottle and
smelledthewonderfulfragrancethatcamefromeachofthem.
“Findoneyoulike?”Christianaskedashewalkedovertome.
“IlikeChanelChance.”IsmiledasIheldmywristuptohim.
“Verysexy.AndIdon’tjustmeanthescent.”Hesmirked.
A heat rose in my body. All these perfume smells were creating a sexual tension
betweenusthatterrifiedme.IswallowedhardasIstaredintohiseyes.
“Thankyou.”
“NoneedtothankmewhenI’monlytellingthetruth.”Hewinked.
Hiswinkshadtostop.Mybodycouldn’ttakeitanymore.Iwantedsex.Ineededsex.I
already knew how sex with him was and I wanted it again. Damn it! I was horny and I
knewitwasgoingtogetmeintotrouble.
Eloise
AfterbrowsingaroundBloomingdale’s,westeppedoutofthestoreandcontinuedour
shoppingspree.WeneededtocrossthestreetbecauseIwantedtogototheAmericanGirl
store and look at a doll for Hannah’s birthday that was coming up. As we approached a
crosswalk,weonlyhadfivesecondslefttocross.
“Comeon,”Christianspokeashegrabbedmyhand.
“Noway.Wewon’tmakeit.”
“Wewill.”Hesmiledasweranacrossthestreet,myhandinhis.
Wemadeittotheothersidejustasthestopsignalappeared.
“Toldyouwe’dmakeit,”hespoke.“Lifeisallabouttakingchances.”
“Takingachancetogetkilled?”Iarchedmybrowathim.
Hechuckledasmyhandwasstilllockedinhis.Ilookeddownandthenupathim.A
feelingbetweenuswasfeltashegavemeasmallsmileandletgo.
“SowhyarewegoingintotheAmericanGirlstore?”heasked.
“MyfriendScarletthasalittlegirlnamedHannahandherbirthdayiscomingup.I’d
lovetogetheroneofthosebittybabiestoplaywith.”
WewalkedintothestoreandlookedaroundatalltheAmericanGirlDollsthatwereon
display.
“Wow.Thisstoreisvery—girly,”Christianspoke.
“Onmyeighthbirthday,myparentstookmetotheoneinNewYorkonFifthAvenue.I
thoughttheybroughtmetheretopickoutadoll,butwhenwewalkedintothestore,we
wereescortedtotheprivatediningroomwheremyparentshadarrangedabirthdayparty
formeandeightofmygirlfriends.”
“Youmusthavebeenverysurprised.”
“I was. They took me over to the table, and when I sat down in my chair, my mom
handedmeabigbox.I’llneverforgetthefeelinginsidemewhenIopenedthatboxand
insidewasanAmericanGirldollwholookedjustlikeme.”
“Didshehaveaname?”Christianasked.
“I named her Maggie. We celebrated my birthday with my friends and our dolls and
after,mymomanddadtookmearoundthestoreandletmepickouttwooutfitsforher.
ShewasmybestfriendandIdivulgedmydeepestanddarkestsecretstoher.”Ismiled.
“Doyoustillhaveher?”
“No. When I was fourteen, my parents and I were out to dinner when we got a call
from our neighbor that our home was on fire. We lost just about everything, including
Maggie.”
“I’msorry,Eloise.”Helightlytouchedmyarm.
Ilookedoverathimwithasmallsmile.
“Thankyou.Iwasdevastatedandittookmealongtimetogetoverit.Tobehonest,
I’m not sure that I am. This is the first time since losing her that I’ve stepped inside an
AmericanGirlstore.Iknowitsoundsweird.”
“Justalittle,butIwon’tholditagainstyou.”Hesmiled.
WefoundthesectionwiththeBittyBabiesandIpickedoneout.Glancingoveratthe
outfits,IaskedChristiantohelpme.
“Whichonedoyoulike?”Iasked.
“Forthedoll?”
“Ofcourseforthedoll.”Ilaughed.
“This two-piece set with the cat on it is cute. Oh look, it comes with matching cat
slippers.”Hesmiledasheheldthemup.
“Thosearepajamas.”
“So?Doyoureallythinkatwo-year-oldwillknowthedifference?”Hesmirked.
“Itiscute.”Ipickeduptheoutfitandlookedatit.“Goodchoice,Mr.Blake.”
“Idohavegoodtaste,andnotjustindollclothes.”Hewinked.
A flutter erupted in my belly. We walked up to the counter and I set the doll and
pajamasdown.
“Hello.”Thesalesgirlbehindthecountersmiled.“Yourdaughterisgoingtolovethis.
Howoldisshe?”
“Oh,it’s—”Ibegantospeak.
“She’stwo,”Christianspokeup.“She’sanabsoluteangel.I’llneverforgetthedayshe
wasborn.Itwasthebestdayofmylife.”
“That’ssweet.”ShegrinnedathimasIstaredindisbelief.
“She’stheappleofmyeye.Daddy’slittlegirl,”Christianspoke.
“Issheherewithyou?”thesalesgirlasked.
“No.She’sbackhome.”Christianputhisarmaroundme.“We’reonalittleromantic
getaway.”
“Aw,that’ssweet.”
Ipulledoutmycreditcardandhandedittoher.AfterIsigned,shehandedChristian
thebag.
“Thankyouandenjoytherestofyourromanticgetaway.”Shesmiled.
“Ohwewill.”
We walked out of the store and I stopped on the sidewalk and gave Christian a swift
slaponhischest.
“Whydidyoudothat?”
“Ouch.Whynot?Idon’tunderstandwhypeoplejustassumethings.Sheshouldhave
askedwhothedollwasfor,notjustjumpedtotheconclusionthatitwasforourdaughter.”
“Wedon’thaveadaughter!”
“Exactly!Anyway,youhavetoadmititwasalittlefuntoplayalong.”Hesmiled.
Ididn’trespondbecauseIdidn’twanthimtoknowthatitkindofturnedmeon.
“I’mhungry.Areyou?”heasked.
“Yeah.Iam.”
“Good.Let’sgogetsomelunch.Iknowthisgreatplace.It’snottoofarfromhere.”
“Ihopeyou’retalkingabouttheGrandLuxCafé,”Ispoke.
“Iam.Youknowtheplace?”
“OneofmyfavoriteChicagorestaurants.”Ismiled.“ThelasttimeIwastherewaswith
thegirlsabouttwoyearsago.”
“It’soneofmyfavoritestoo.”
Weenjoyedlunch,talked,laughed,andthenheadedbacktothehotel.
“IthinkI’mgoingtotakeanap,”Ispoke.“I’mtiredfrombeingupsoearlyandIfeel
likewemighthavealatenight.”
“Anapsoundsgood.IthinkI’lltakeonetoo,”Christianspoke.
Asweapproachedourrooms,Christianglancedoveratme.
“Haveanicenap.”Hesmiled.
“Youtoo.”
Iopenedthedoorandsteppedinside.Settingmybagdownonthefloor,Ichangedout
ofmyclothesandintothecomfywhiterobethatwashanginginthecloset.Iwasthirsty,
soIopenedtheminifridgeandtookoutacanofCoke.Ineededice.Icouldn’tdrinkpop
without it. Grabbing the ice bucket, I opened the door and looked down the hallway to
makesurenobodywasaround.Theroomwheretheicewaslocatedwasonlyafewdoors
down.Ifilledthebucketandheadedbacktomyroom.Ohshit.Iforgotmykey.Sighing,I
lightly knocked on Christian’s door. He answered it wearing only a pair of gray
sweatpants.MysensesheightenedasIcouldstillsmellthatdamnChanelcologneonhim.
Igulpedmorethanonceashestoodthereandsmiledatme.
“MayIaskwhyyou’restandinginthehallwayinarobe?”
“I went to get some ice and forgot my key, so I need to enter my room through your
room.”
“Oh.Comeonin.”Hewavedhishand.“Whatareyouplanningonusingtheicefor?”
Hesmirked.
“Mypop.”Iarchedmybrowathim.“WhatelsewouldIuseitfor?”
“I don’t know. Ice can be used in many different ways for many things.” A cunning
smilecrossedhislips.
IfeltlikeIwasgoingtohyperventilateasIopenedtheadjoiningdoor.
“Enjoyyourice,MissMoore.”
Iglaredathimfromacrosstheroomashechuckledandshutthedoor.Iputsomeice
into my glass, poured some pop into it, and took a few sips before lying down. I made
myself comfortable on the bed and closed my eyes. Images of Christian moved through
myhead,sendinganachesofiercedownbelowthatIcouldn’ttakeitanymore.
“Fuckit,”IsaidasIjumpedoutofbed.
Walking over to the adjoining door, I knocked on it and Christian stood there and
lookedatme.
“Somethingwrong?”heasked.
Ithrewmyselfathimandlockedmylipsonhis.Heplacedhishandsoneachsideof
myfaceasourkisscontinued.
“Areyousure?”heaskedmeashebrokeourkiss.
“JustshutupbeforeIchangemymind.”
His hands untied my robe and he slid it off my shoulders while our lips tangled
together.Layingmedownonthebed,hehoveredovermeandbrokeourkissashiseyes
burnedintomine.
“Thisisjustsex,”Ispoke.“Onlysex.”
“Iagree.Justsex,”hemoanedashislipstraveledtomybreasts.
Histongueslidovermyhardenednipplesbeforehislipswrappedtightlyaroundeach
one.Mybreathhitchedastinglingsensationssoaredthroughmybody.Thearousaldown
belowwassavageanditfeltlikeanorgasmwasreadytoexplode.Moansescapedmeas
hismouthsliddownmytorsoandnavigateditswaydowntomyclit.Thesoftstrokesof
histongueagainstmemademybodytrembleandanorgasmtoeruptthatsentmyhead
spinningoutofcontrol.
“Thatdidn’ttakelong.”Hesmiledashelookedupatme.
Itdidn’tmattertohimthatIalreadycamebecausehecontinuedtoexploreme,notonly
with his mouth but with his fingers. His tongue focused on my clit while he dipped a
finger inside me. A jolt of ecstasy opened the gates to a whole new world. A world of
sensations that I’d never felt before. How the fuck was this possible? When he was
satisfiedanddoneexploring,hestoodupandpulleddownhissweatpants.Thesightofhis
beautiful cock once again elated me. I quivered at the sight of it, already knowing the
pleasureitgavemeoncebefore.Ilaythereinanticipationwhilehetoreopenacondom
androllediton.Heslowlyclimbedontopandhoveredoverme.Aftergentlykissingmy
lips, he pushed a strand of my hair from my face, and with a smile, he spoke, “We’re
goingtotakeitslowthistime.”Itrembledbeneathhimashislipssoftlypressedagainst
the flesh of my neck. My arms wrapped tightly around him as he pushed himself inside
me.Slow,steady,andrhythmicwitheachorgasm-inducingthrust.Ithrewmyheadbackat
thehappinessmybodyfeltwhilehislipscaressedmine.
Softmoanseruptedfromhisthroatashemovedinandoutwhilemynailsdugintohis
back.
“God,youfeelsogood,”hewhisperedinmyear.
“Sodoyou,”Ispokewithbatedbreath.
Hesatback,placedhishandsfirmlyonmyhips,andpickedupthepace,hittingallthe
rightspotsasmybodypreparedtodiveintooblivion.Mysensualsoundsheightened,and
Iplacedmyhandsonhisfirmandmuscularchest.Theinevitablehappenedandasecond
orgasmtookovermybody,sendingarushnotonlythroughme,butalsotoChristian.His
grip tightened as he halted deep inside me, straining, moaning, and fully reveling in a
momentofpurejoy.
Hecollapsedontopofme,hishandsoneachsideofmyhead,softlystrokingmyhair
withhisthumbs.Ourbreathingwasoutofcontrolandourrapidheartbeatsstruggledtoget
back to normal. I lay there, underneath him, our sweaty bodies pressing against one
another,remindingusofthepleasurewehadjustgiveneachother.
“So much for our naps,” he spoke with a sense of humor as he rolled off me and
removedthecondom.
“Right?” I tried to make light of the now awkward situation as I sat up holding the
sheetagainstme.
Iwatchedhishotnakedbodywalkacrosstheroomandintothebathroomtodisposeof
thecondom.Iclimbedoffthebedandslippedonmyrobewhilehestoodinthedoorway
ofthebathroomandstaredatmewithasmileonhisface.
“Ishouldgotakeashower,”InervouslyspokeasIpointedtomyroom.
“Yeah.Ishouldtoo.Weneedtobedownstairsintherestaurantatsixo’clock.”
I gave him a small smile and stepped into my room. With my hand on the handle,
gettingreadytopullthedoorshut,Ilookedathim.
“Itwasonlysex,Christian.Nothingelse.”
“Iknow,Eloise.Noworries.”
Christian
Isteppedintotheshower,thesmellofherallovermybodyandhertasteonmylips.I
smiledasIleanedmyheadbackunderthemistofthehotwater,lettingthewarmthrun
down my face. Sex with her was undeniably the ultimate experience as far as I was
concerned.Shesaiditwasonlysex,butIknewdamnwellitwasmorethanthattoher.I
feltitinthewayherhandsroamedmybody.Ifeltitinthewayhernailsdugintomyback
andIfeltitwitheachsensualsoundsheletout.Forme,itwasmorethanjustsex,andas
farasIwasconcerned,Iwasonestepclosertohavingher.
Whilewewereatlunch,shebeganaskingquestionsaboutmyparentsandchildhood.I
needed to be careful with what I said because I had already told her, aka Digits, a lot. I
couldn’triskherfindingoutitwasmeshewasactuallytalkingto.Notyet.Butwitheach
passingday,itwasbecomingharderandhardernotto.DigitsandIweregrowingcloser.
MaybeIneededtocutitoffwithherandletsometimepass.MaybeEloisewouldnever
havetoknow.ThatwassomethingIneededtocarefullythinkabout.
Aftermyshower,Isatdownonthebedwithmyphoneinmyhandandthoughtabout
textingDigits.ThenIdecidednotto.AsIgotuptoputonmyclothes,myphonedinged
withatextmessagefromher.
“Hi.”
“Hi.How’syourtripgoing?”
“Good.How’syourday?Isworkbusy?”
“Workisalwaysbusy.Otherthanthat,mydayisgreat.”
“Goodtohear.Ijustwantedtosayhi.”
“Everythingokay,Digits?”
“Yeah.Thingsaregood.Ineedtogetreadyfordinner.Catchyalater?”
“Catchyalater.Ifyouwanttotalktonight,textme,nomatterwhattimeitis.”
“Thanks,MobileMan.Iwill.”
I sighed as I set my phone down and got ready for dinner. When I knocked on our
adjoining door, Eloise opened it and I stood there in awe at the sight of her. A beautiful
nude-colored short dress, delicately beaded, sat off her shoulders and hugged her petite
hourglassfigure.Herlongbrownhairwastwistedupintoaneleganthair-dowithafew
curls that hung down. I let out an approving whistle as I tried to calm down my
misbehavingcock.
“Youlookstunning.”Ismiled.“Areyouready?”
“Thankyou.Almost.Ijusthavetoputonmyheelsandthenwecango.”Shesmiledas
shegrabbedhershoesandsatdownontheedgeofthebed.
I couldn’t stop staring at her long, lean legs as she slipped her feet into her nude-
coloredheels.ThewayshehadhadthemwrappedtightlyaroundmywaistasIfuckedher
wasintoxicating.
“NowI’mready,”shespoke.
Iplacedmyhandonthesmallofherbackasshepickedupherpursefromthedresser
and we walked out of the room. A smile crossed my lips when I felt her tremble at the
subtletouchofmyhand.
We took the elevator down to the restaurant where my friend, Joe, was standing and
waitingforus.
“Christian,goodtoseeyou,myfriend.”Welightlyhugged.
“Goodtoseeyoutoo.Joe,I’dlikeyoutomeetEloiseMoore,ourphotographer.Eloise,
thisisJoe.”
“It’snicetomeetyou.”Shesmiledassheplacedherhandinhis.
“Andyouaswell.”Joenodded.
Heledustoatablewherethreeotherpeople,includingthetwomodels,fromChanel
sat.Weate,drank,andtalkedmostlyaboutbusiness.Afterdinnerwasfinished,westayed
foracouplemoredrinksandthenheadeduptoourrooms.
“Goodnight,Eloise,”Ispokebeforewalkingintomyroom.
“Goodnight,Christian.Seeyouinthemorning.”
I closed the door and set my keycard on the night stand. As I looked at my bed, I
wishedIwasseeingherlyinginitnexttome.
****
Eloise
I opened my suitcase, changed into my nightshirt, and took out my small travel bag.
Taking it into the bathroom, I took out my toothbrush but noticed my toothpaste wasn’t
there. After looking through my suitcase and realizing I must have left it at home, I
walkedovertotheadjoiningdoorandknockedonit.
“Everything okay?” Christian asked as he opened the door and his half naked body
instantlyarousedme.
“CanIborrowyourtoothpaste?Ileftmineathome.”
“Sure.I’llgogetitforyou.”
HewalkedawayandIstaredatthebedwherewehadsexearlierintheday.
“Hereyougo.”Hesmiledashehandedmethetube.
“Thanks.HoldonasecandI’llbringitrightback.”
“Youknow,wecouldalwaysjustkeepthisdooropenincasethere’sanythingelseyou
need.Thatway,youwouldn’thavetoknock.”
“And what else would I need?” I narrowed my eye at him as I handed him back his
toothpaste.
“Oh,Idon’tknow.”Hesmirked.
“Goodnight,Mr.Blake.”Ibegantoshutthedoor.
“Goodnight,MissMoore.Youknowwheretofindmeifyouneedme.”
“Iwon’tneedyou!”Ishoutedfromtheothersideofthedoor.
After brushing my teeth, I climbed into bed and lay there, eyes wide open. I was
exhausted so why couldn’t I sleep? Maybe it was because every time I closed my damn
eyes, all I saw was Christian. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and sent a text
messagetoMobileMan.
“WehadsexagainandthistimeIinitiateditfromlackofcontrol.”
“Lol.Goodforyou,Digits!”
“It’snotfunny,MobileMan.”
“I’msorry.Ofcourseit’snotfunny.Doyouregretit?”
“No.Ican’tevenexplaintoyouhowhemakesmefeel.”
“Whydon’tyoutry?”
“Itwasdifferentthistime.”
“How?”
“I don’t know how to put it into words. It felt like our souls merged. Like we both
connectedonaleveldeeperthatIneverknewexistedorexperiencedbefore.”
“That’sgood,right?Ithinksomethinglikethatisraretofindorexperience.”
“Idon’tknow.IbasicallyattackedhimandIfeelashamed.”
“Didheenjoyit?”
“Ofcourseheenjoyedit.Whatmanwouldn’tenjoyawomanpracticallyattackinghim
forsex?”
“Lol.True.”
“Whathemustthinkofme.”
“Doyouwantmythoughtsonthat?”
“Yes,please.”
“Hemorethanlikelythinksyou’reabeautifulwomanwhoknowswhatshewantsand
goesafterit.That’sahugeturnonformen.”
“Ha.TellthattoallthelosersIdated.Ithinktheyweremoreintimidatedbymethan
anything.”
“That’s why they’re all losers, Digits. A weak man can’t handle a strong woman
becausehedoesn’tknowwhattodowithher,butastrongmanlovesthechallengesofa
strongwoman.AndIdobelievethisguyyou’vehadsexwithtwicenowisastrongman
whoknowswhathewants.Hence,notaloser.Listen,don’tgetallcaughtupinwhathe
thinks about you because your animal instincts took over. I’m pretty sure your sexiness
levelblewoffthechartsinhiseyes.”
“Thanks,MobileMan.I’mgoingtoheadtobednow.ItwasalongdayandI’mtired.”
“Sleepwell,Digits.Catchyalater.”
“Youtoo.Catchyalater.”
Eloise
Myeyesflewopenatthesoundofmyalarmgoingoff,wakingmefromthedreamI
wasinthemiddleof.AdreamthatconsistedofmeandChristianrollingaroundincrisp
white sheets as the ocean air blew through the window of our room, leaving me with a
feelingofanunfinishedorgasm.
“Shit,”IwhisperedtomyselfasIsatupinbed.
I sighed as I hopped into the shower and got ready for the photo shoot, leaving very
littletimetofinishoffwhathehadstartedinmydream.Iwasn’tgoingtoletthisaffect
me. I wasn’t going to let him affect me. I needed full concentration for the shoot and I
couldn’taffordanydistractions.Justhimbeingtherewouldbedistractionenough.WhileI
wasputtingonmymakeup,therewasalightknockontheadjoiningdoor.Walkingover,I
opened it and there stood Christian with a tube of toothpaste in one hand and a cup of
coffeeintheother.
“Goodmorning.Ifiguredyouneededbothofthese.”Hegrinned.
“Goodmorning.Idefinitelydo.Thankyou.”
Itookthecoffeeandthetoothpastefromhimandwentbackintothebathroom.
“Itookthelibertyoforderingbreakfastforus,”hespoke.“Itshouldbehereshortly.”
“Thankyou.I’mstarving.Arewegoingtohavetimetoeat?”IaskedasIlookedatthe
timeonmyphone.
“We’llhavetoeatfast,”hereplied.
Helefttheadjoiningdooropenandwentbackintohisroom.Fromwherethebathroom
was positioned, I could see part of his room in the mirror. I kept glancing as I twisted
strands of my hair around the barrel of my curling iron. I could see him standing there
putting on his watch and then he took a seat on the edge of the bed and slipped on his
shoes.Theachedownbelowthatneverfullywentawaygrewstronger.Justlookingathim
remindedmeoftheintensedreamIhad.Itwasoneofthosedreamsthatwouldstaywith
meforawhile.
JustasIfinishedgettingready,therewasknockonthedoor.Christianwalkedoverand
answereditwhileIputonmyshoes.
“Breakfastisserved,”hespokeashetookthesilvertrayovertothesmallroundtable
withtwochairsthatsatinthecorner.
RightwhenIsatdowntoeat,myphoneranganditwasClairecalling.
“Hello,”Ianswered.
“HaveyouseenyourblogandyourYouTubechannelsinceyoupostedthosevideos?”
sheasked.
“No.Ihaven’thadachancetolook.”
“TellClaireIsaidhi,”Christianwhisperedfromacrossthetable.
“Well,youneedtolookrightnow!”
“Christiansaidhi,”Ispoke.“Andwhy?What’sgoingon?”
“TellhimIsaidhi.Justlook,Eloise!”shedemanded.
“Okay.Okay.”
Igotupfromthetableandgrabbedmylaptopfromthebed.Loggingintomyblog,I
satthereandstaredatitwithmyeyespoppedoutofmyhead.Mysubscribershadreached
overamillionandmyvideoshadoverfivehundredthousandviews.Clickingovertomy
YouTubechannel,IalreadyhadoverseventythousandsubscribersandeachvideoIposted
hadoverfiftythousandviewssofar.
“OhmyGod,Claire!”
“I know, right? When you get a chance, read the comments! I think you’re onto
somethingherewith#Delete,Eloise.”
“Thankyouforlettingmeknow.I’msoexcited!”
“You’rewelcome.Goodluckwiththeshoottodayandcallmelater!”
“Iwill.Bye.”
IinhaledadeepbreathandletitoutasIlookedatChristian.
“Congratulations.”Hesmiled.
“Thankyou.Ihonestlycan’tbelieveit.”
“Idobelieveacelebrationisinordertonight.Youin?”Hewinked.
“Sure.I’min.”Ismiled.
Thephotoshoottookapproximatelysevenhours.Betweenthestreetshots,hotelshots,
navypiershots,andnumerousdresschanges,Ididn’texpectittotakeanylesstime.
“Greatjob,Eloise.Howlonguntilwecangettheproofs?”Joeasked.
“Thanks,Joe.IcanhavethemmailedouttoyouasearlyasnextThursday.Willthat
workforyou?”
“I’mactuallygoingtobeinNewYorkonThursday,sojustbringthembyChristian’s
office.Let’ssayaroundoneo’clock.I’llhaveChristianorderusinsomelunchandwecan
viewthemtogether.”
“Soundsgood.”Ismiled.
“Itwasnicemeetingyou,Eloise.Ilookforwardtoseeingthosepictures.Haveasafe
triphome.”
“Thankyou.”
AfterChristiansaidgoodbyetoJoeandtherestoftheChanelstaff,hewalkedoverto
measIwaspackingupmycameraequipment.
“Youwereamazingtoday,”hespoke.
“Thanks. Everyone was super nice and easy to work with. Especially the models.
Sometimestheycanbequitedifficult.”Ismirked.
“Ibettheycanbe.I’msureyouwanttoshowerbeforeheadingtodinner.”
“Ido.Beingaphotographercangetprettydirty.”
“Youwereonthegroundanawfullot.”Helaughed.“Reservationsareforeight.”
WetookacabbacktothehotelandChristianfollowedmeintomyroomandsetoneof
theequipmentbagshecarrieddownonthetable.
“I’mgoingtogochange.Justletmeknowwhenyou’reready,”hespoke.
“Iwill.Thiscelebrationwe’redoing,isitfancyorcasual?”
“Casual.”Hewinkedashestartedtowalktohisroom.“Bytheway.”Heturnedand
lookedatme.“Ihopeyou’renotafraidofheights.”
BeforeIcouldgetanywordsout,hewalkedtohisroomandshutthedoor.Whatthe
hell did he mean by that? I wasn’t a fan of heights. Now I was worried. I took a quick
shower, and when I got out, I sat down on the bed with my laptop and began looking
through the hundreds of emails from women around the world. As much as I loved
photography,Ilovedhelpingwomenmore.Itwasatthatmomentwhilereadingtheemails
thatIdecidedtotakeabreakfromphotographyandmakemyblogandYouTubechannela
priority.Itwasarisk.Ahugerisk.But,likesomeonetoldme,“Someofthegreatestgifts
inlifeareontheothersideoffear.”
IpickedupmyphoneandsentatextmessagetoMobileMan.
“Wedidn’ttouchbasetoday.Howareyou?”
“I’mgreat.Howareyou?IwaswonderingifI’dhearfromyou.Ididn’twanttobother
youbecauseIknewyouwerebusy.”
“I’mgood.IhadareallygooddayandnowIneedtogetreadytogotodinner.”
“Howarethingsgoingbetweenthetwoofyou?”
“Thingsaregoinggood.Maybetoogood.Thepartthatsucksisthathe’salwaysonmy
mindevenwhenwe’renottogether.”
“Whydoesthatsuck?”
“BecauseIdon’twanttothinkabouthim.Idon’tneedthedistraction,butIcan’thelp
it.”
“Listentome,Digits.Youcantrytofightyourfeelingsforthisguyallyouwant,but
you’ll lose and you know it. That’s why I think you’re so scared. Just give in to those
feelings.Obviously,theguyfeelsthesamewayaboutyou.Takeitslow.Onedayatatime.
Openyourselfuptothepossibilitythatthisguyistheexceptionofallothermen.”
“Youthink?”
“I know. I spent the day with the woman of my dreams today. And you know why?
BecauseItookyouradvice.Takeyourownadvice,Digits.Ifyoulikehim,lethimknow.
Becauseoneday,you’llwakeupandhewon’tbethereandthenyou’llspendtherestof
yourlifewonderingwhatcouldhavebeen.”
“Thankyou,MobileMan.HaveIevertoldyouhowmuchIloveourconversations?”
“I’msureyouhaveandIlovethemtoo.Conversationswithyouarethehighlightofmy
day.”Hesentthewinkyface.
Isenthimthewinkyfacebackandtoldhimtohaveagoodnight.Myfeelingsabout
him and our text friendship were starting to change. He met the woman of his dreams
already, so him falling for me wasn’t even a consideration. Maybe it was time me and
MobileManmet.Maybeamanandawomancouldjustbefriends.
Christian
There was a knock on the adjoining door, and when I opened it, I smiled as I saw
Eloisestandingtherelookingasgorgeousasever.
“Areyouready?”Iasked.
“Iam.Wherearewegoing?”
“You’llseewhenwegetthere.”Ismiled.
IrentedouttheSkydeckChicagoforthetwoofus,aprivatediningexperienceonthe
103
rd
floor. I’d had dinner there once before with my family and it was an amazing
experience.AnexperienceIwantedtosharewithher.Iwantedtomakethisanightshe’d
neverforget,andwithanyluck,she’dbewakingupinmyarmsinthemorning.
When we arrived and stepped into the elevator, I could see the look of nervousness
acrossherface.
“Areyouokay?”Ilightlygrabbedholdofherhand.
Shelookeddownandthenupatme.
“Iamnow.”Shelightlysmiled.
Afeelingofcontentmentwashedovermehearinghersaythosewords.Iwasbreaking
through to her. Maybe my last text message as Mobile Man got her thinking. When we
arrivedtothe103
rd
floor,westeppedoutandshelookedaround,herhandtightlyclenched
inmine.
“Ireallyhopeyou’renotafraidofheightsbecausethisissomethingeveryoneshould
experienceintheirlifetime,”Ispoke.
Shetookinadeepbreath.
“It’s not that I’m really afraid. I’m just unsure. Why are we the only two people up
here?”
“I rented out the entire room for us so we could have a private dinner and enjoy the
viewinpeace.”Ismiled.“Comeoverhereandlookoutatthecity.”
“Umm.I’mnotsureIwanttogettooclosetotheglass.”Shestoppedbehindme.
“It’sokay,Eloise.IhaveyouandIpromiseIwon’tletgo.”Ismiled.
****
Eloise
Myheartwasbeatingahundredmilesaminute.Nowait,makethatathousandmilesa
minute.Notonlybecauseourhandswerelockedtogether,butbecausewewereupreally
highandIwasn’tsurehowtodealwiththeanxietyIfelt.Icouldn’tbelieveherentedout
theentire Skydeck forthe two ofus. That had tobe the sweetestthing anyone had ever
doneforme.Aftertakinginacoupleofdeepbreaths,Ilethimleadmetothewindow.
“What’sthat?”
“That’stheledge.”
“Youmeanpeopleactuallywalkonit?”
“Yes.”Hechuckled.“Wouldyouliketogiveitatry?”
“Nope.I’mgoodrighthere.”
Wetookaseatataroundtablewhereabottleofwinesat.AfterChristiantooktheseat
acrossfromme,hepoureduseachaglassofwine.
“Dinnerwillbeservedshortly.”Hegrinned.“Here’stoasuccessfulphotoshootandto
yoursuccessfulblog.”Hehelduphisglass.
“Thank you.” I smiled big as I clanked my glass against his. “So, tell me again why
you’resingle?”
“Oh,Idon’tknow.Maybetherightwomanhasn’tpoppedintomylife.Youdohaveto
becarefulwhomyouchoosetowanttospendtherestofyourlifewith.”Hesmirked.
“True.Soyouwantmarriageandafamily?”
“Onedayinthefuture.That’siftherightwomancomesalongandsweepsmeoffmy
feet.”Hewinkedandmyladypartsquivered.
Igavehimasmallsmileasthewaiterwalkedoverandservedusdinner.
“It really is beautiful up here. Thank you,” I spoke as the anxiety seemed to have
dissipated.
“You’rewelcome.”
We ate, talked about the photo shoot, and when dinner was over, music from the
overheadstartedtoplay.Christiangotupfromhischairandheldouthishandtome.
“May I have this dance? The night wouldn’t be complete without dancing on the
skydeck.”Hesmiled.
Iplacedmynapkinfrommylapontothetableandputmyhandinhis.
“We’regoingtodanceontheledgeandIdon’twantyoutobeafraid,”hespoke.
Anervousnesssettledinthepitofmystomach.
“Doyoutrustme,Eloise?”heaskedwithseriousnessashiseyesstaredintomine.
“Ithinkso.”
Heletoutachuckle.
“Youthinkso?”
“Yes,ofcourseIdo.”
Withourhandsclaspedtogether,heledmetotheledgeandIgulped.
“It’sokay.I’vegotyou.”
We stepped onto the ledge and he wrapped his arm securely around my waist as I
placedmyhandinhisandmyotherhandonhisshoulder.Weswayedbackandforthto
themusicasIlookedoutatthebrightlylitcityfromthe103
rd
floor.
“Areyouokay?”Christianasked.
“Actually, I’m fine. It’s beautiful up here.” I smiled. “And you’re right, this is
somethingeveryoneshouldexperienceintheirlifetime.”
“I’mgladyoulikeit.Isomehowknewyouwould.”Hesmiled.
Heletgoofmyhandandwrappedhisotherarmaroundme.Bringingbotharmsup,I
secured them around his neck as the two of us stared at each other, getting lost in one
another’ssoul.Thecornersofhismouthwereslightlycurvedintoaseductivesmilethat
sentshiversdownmyspine.Hewantedtokissme.Ifeltit.Andinamatterofseconds,his
lips gently pressed against mine. He looked at me and I smiled, letting him know that I
wasonboardwithwhateverhewasthinkingabout.Heleanedinagain,butthistime,his
kiss was more sensual and not just a test. I returned it and our tongues met with
satisfaction.Hishandsroamedupanddownmysidesasminetangledthroughhishair.If
wedidn’tleavenow,we’denduphavingsexontheledge.Wouldthatreallybesobad?I
wassurethestaffwouldmind.
“Shallwegobacktothehotel?”heaskedashebrokeourkiss.
“Yes.”Iswallowedhard.
Withagrinonhisface,hetookmyhandandwelefttheSkydeck.Ourhandsneverleft
eachother’sallthewaybacktothehotel.Oncewesteppedintotheelevator,andbeingthe
only ones in there, he pushed me up against the wall and savagely kissed me as we
traveledfromfloortofloor.Thedoorsopenedandhegrabbedmyhandandledustoour
rooms.
“Whichroom?Mineoryours?”heasked.
“Yoursisfine.”Ismiled.
Heinsertedthecardkey,openedthedoor,andsweptmeupinhisarmsandovertothe
bed where we made passionate love. I lay there, wrapped in his arms, my head on his
chestandhisfingerstrokingmybareskin.
“IwanttoseeyouonaregularbasiswhenwegetbacktoNewYork,”hespoke.
Fear and confusion rose inside me. I gave serious thought to what Mobile Man said
about just letting go and spending the rest of my life wondering what could have been.
ChristianBlakewaseverythingIwaslookingforinamanandmyintuitionwastellingme
togoforit.Ifailedatlisteningtomyintuitionbefore,butthistime,Iknewbetter.
“I’dliketoseeyoutoo.”Iliftedmyheadandlookedathim.
“Really?”Asmilegrewacrosshisface.
“Yes,really.”
Withoneswiftmove,IwasflatonmybackandChristianwashoveringoverme.
Christian
I’d won and I couldn’t have been happier, but a darkness resided deep inside me. I
couldn’tsleepwhenIshouldhavebeensleepinglikeababy.Ihaditall.Ihadher.Isaton
theedgeofthebedwithmyfaceburiedinmyhandsthinkingabouthowIwasgoingto
tellherthatIwasMobileMan.Ididn’tknowhowshe’dreactandthatwaswhatscared
methemost.
“Hey,areyouokay?”sheaskedassheplacedherhandonmyback.
“I’mfine.I’msorryIwokeyou.”
“Youdidn’t.Whyaren’tyouasleep?”
“Idon’tknow.Maybetoomuchexcitementfromtheday.”
Iclimbedbackunderthesheets,wrappedherupinmyarms,andkissedherhead.
“Gobacktosleep,baby.I’mfine.Ipromise.”
Iawokethenextmorningtothesoundofrainhittingthewindow.
“Ilovethesoundoftherain,”shesoftlyspoke.
“Metoo.Goodmorning.”Ikissedherhead.
“Goodmorning.”Herlipspressedagainstmychest.“Whattimedoesourflightleave?”
“Notuntilsixo’clocktonight.Ididn’tthinktheywerecallingforraintoday.Thelast
timeIcheckedtheweather,therewasazeropercentchance.”
“A little bit of rain never hurt anybody.” She smiled as she looked up at me. “I’ll be
right back. Don’t go anywhere.” She kissed me before climbing out of bed and slipping
intoherrobe.
She opened the adjoining door to her room, and after a few seconds, she came back
withhercamerainherhand.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Ilaughed.
“I’mgoingtotakesomepicturesofyou.Thatis,ifyoudon’tmind.”
“Inbed?”Icockedmyheadashercamerawentoff.
“Yes.It’ssexyandIlikesexy.”Shegrinned.
Shestoodontopofthebedandbegansnappingpictureswhilelookingdown.
“Getdownhere.”Igrabbedherlegsandpulledherontopofme.“Nomorepictures.If
youwantsexy,I’llgiveyousexy.”Ikissedher.
Slippingherrobeoffhershoulders,Itookherbeautifulbreastsinmymouth.Myhard
cock was pressed against her and waiting to feel the warmth of her insides. She lifted
herselfupandslowlypusheddownuntileveryinchofmewasinsideher.Subtlemoans
escapedbothourlipsaswetookinthepleasurewegaveeachother.
“We’renotusingacondom?”Iasked.
“I’monbirthcontrol.I’mnotworried.”
I placed my hands firmly on her breasts, lightly pinching each hardened peak as she
slowly rode my cock. I threw my head back in satisfaction as the warmth inside her
envelopedme.
“God,youfeelincredible.”
“Sodoyou,”shesensuallymoaned.
Watchinghermakelovetomewasthebestturnonintheworld.Shewassofucking
beautifulandIcouldn’tgetenoughofher.Herhipsmovedbackandforthatarapidpace
as her moans heightened and she came. The wetness that emerged from her sent a
tremblingsensationthroughme.AsensationIcouldn’tcontrol.Asensationthatsentmy
cockintoaspasticfitofanorgasm.IheldherhipsdownfirmlyasIpushedouteverylast
dropIhadinsideher.
Beforeclimbingoffme,herlipspressedagainstmine.
“I’mstarving.”Shesmiled.
“Metoo.Let’sgetdressedandheaddowntobreakfast.”
Wekepttheadjoiningdooropenandtraveledbetweenroomsaswebothgotdressed.
While Eloise was in her bathroom applying her makeup, I walked up from behind and
wrappedmyarmsaroundher.
“I’mgoingtoheaddowntothegiftshopandgrabusacoupleumbrellas.”
“Goodidea.We’regoingtoneedthem.”Shesmiled.
Ilefttheroomandheadedtowardstheelevator.Pullingmyphonefrommypocket,I
sentDigitsatextmessage.
“Goodmorning.Howwasyournight?”
“Goodmorning!Mynightwasfabulous.Hetoldmehewantstoseemeonaregular
basiswhenwegetbackhome.”
“That’sgood.Whatdidyousay?”
“ItoldhimthatI’dliketoseehimtoo.”
“I’mproudofyou,Digits.Soyoutookmyadvice?”
“Yesandthankyou.IguessIdidn’twanttospendtherestofmylifewonderingwhat
couldhavebeen.”
“I’mhappytohearyousaythat.”
“Whataboutyouandthewomanofyourdreams?”
“Ithinkthingsaregoingtoworkoutreallywellwithher.”
“Wow.Lookatus.”Isentthesmileyfaceemoji.
“Ihavetorun,Digits.Haveagreatday.Whenareyouheadingback?”
“Ourflightleavesatsixp.m.”
“Haveasafeflight.Catchyalater?”
“Catchyalater,MobileMan.”
IsighedasIstoodthereandstaredatourtextmessages.Thiscouldn’tgoon.Ieither
hadtotellEloisewhoIwasorIhadtostoptextingDigits.Eitherway,shewasgoingtobe
hurtandthelastthingIwantedtodowashurther.
Eloise
AfterChristianandIhadbreakfast,weheadedbacktoourroomstopackallourthings
sowecouldcheckout.Afterleavingourbagswiththehoteluntilwewerereadytogoto
theairport,westeppedontotherainystreetsofChicagoandChristianopenedthe
oversizedblackumbrella.
“Ican’tbelievetheyonlyhadoneleft,”Ispoke.
“I’msurealotofpeoplehadthesameideawedidwhentheysawtherainoutside.I’m
happythiswasthelastone.It’llkeepmeclosertoyou.”Hewinked.
Icouldn’thelpbutsmileasIlaidmyheadonhisshoulder.Weshoppedforacoupleof
hours,andeventhoughitwasadrearycooldayout,itturnedouttobeoneofthebest
daysofmylife.Wetriedonclotheswewouldneverbuyjusttobesillyandtookan
obscenenumberofselfiestorememberourtimeinChicago.Becausewehadahuge
breakfast,neitheroneofuswasveryhungry,soweendedupgettingacoupleofhotdogs
fromastreetvendorandeatingthemunderanoverhangandoutoftherain.
“You’reacheapdate.IthinkIlikeyou.”Christiansmiled.
Inudgedhisshoulderwithmine.“IthinkIlikeyoutoo.Thanksforthehotdog.”
Heleanedoverandkissedmylips.Icouldn’trecallatimeIwasanyhappier.Oncewe
finishedeating,weheadedbacktothehoteltocollectourbagsandthenitwasofftothe
airport.Ontheplaneridehome,ChristiandidsomeworkonhislaptopwhileIplannedthe
videosIwasgoingtofilmfortheweek.
“Idecidedtotakeabreakfromphotographyforawhile,”IspokeasIglancedat
Christian.
“Really?Why?”
“Mypassionrightnowiswithmyblogandhelpingwomenwiththeirrelationship
issues.TheonlythingIhavegoingonnextweekaretheeditsfortheChanelphotos.I’m
notgoingtoacceptanymoreworkforprobablyaboutamonth.”
“Canyouaffordnottotakeonphotographyjobs?”heasked.
“Yes.”Ismiled.“Icanaffordit.”
“Thendowhatmakesyouhappy.”Heplacedhishandonmine.
Assoonaswelanded,myphonedingedwithatextmessagefromNatalie.
“AreyouNewYorkboundyet?I’mbackfromHawaiiandwashopingwecouldhavea
drinkorthree.Ineedtotalktoyou.”
“Justlanded.Ishouldbehomeinaboutanhour.Everythingokay?”
“Idon’tknow.IneedyouradviceaboutNathan.”
“Okay.I’lltextyouwhenI’mclosetohome.”
“Thanks.I’llbringthewine.”
“Everythingokay?”Christianasked.
“Yeah.ThatwasNatalie.She’scomingoverwhenIgethome.Sheneedsadviceabout
Nathan.”
“Isthatherboyfriendorhusband?”
“SomeguyshejustmetinHawaii.HelivesonLongIsland.”
Christianhadacarwaitingattheairporttotakeushome.Whenthedriverpulledupto
mybuilding,Christiangotoutofthecar,grabbedmyluggage,andwalkedmetomy
apartment.Aftersettingmyluggagedowninthefoyer,hewrappedhisarmsaroundme
andpulledmeintoatightembrace.
“IhadagreattimeinChicagoandIthinkI’mgoingtomissyoutonight.”
“Ihadagreattimetoo.Thankyouforeverything.AndIthinkI’mgoingtomissyou
too.”Ismiled.
Hislipstenderlybrushedagainstmineanditwasturningintoapassionatekissuntil
therewasknockatmydoor.
“I’lltextyoulater.”Heplacedhishandsoneachsideofmyfaceandkissedmeonelast
time.
“Ilookforwardtoit.”
IopenedthedoorandletNataliein.
“Oh.Hi,Christian.”Shesmiled.
“Hello,Natalie.HowwasHawaii?”
“Beautiful.HowwasChicago?”
“Beautiful.”Hewinkedather.
Assoonasheleft,IshutthedoorandtookthebottleofwinefromNatalie’shand.
“Sowhatwashedoinguphere?”sheasked.
“Hehelpedmewithmyluggage.”Igrinned.
“You’reglowing.What’sgoingon?”
“We’resortofseeingeachother,”IspokeasItookdowntwowineglasses.
“Asindating?”Herbrowarched.
“Isuppose.”
“Yousleptwithhimagain.”Shesmirked.
“Idid.Afewtimes.”IgrinnedlikealittlegirlonChristmasmorning.
“Andyou’reokaywithdatinghim?Whythesuddenchangeinattitude?”
“He’sagreatguy,Natalie,andeverythingI’mlookingfor.Butenoughaboutmeand
Christian.What’sgoingon?”
“Nathanhasn’treturnedanyofmytextmessagessincehe’sbeenhome.”
“Notoneofthem?”Iasked.
“No,”sherepliedasshedownedherglassofwine.“I’mnotusedtothis.I’musually
theonewhodoesn’ttextback.Ireallylikehim,Eloise,andIthoughthelikedmetoo.For
fucksakes,Isleptwithhim.”
“Whateveryoudo,don’ttexthimagain.WhywasheinHawaii?”
“Businesstrip,”shereplied.
“Andhe’sneverbeenmarried?”
“Hesaidno.”
“Howaboutagirlfriend?”
“Hesaidhehasn’thadoneinalongtime.”
“It’spossiblehedoeshaveagirlfriendhereandshedidn’tgowithhimbecauseitwasa
businesstrip.”
“Thatlittlefucker.Isweartogod,ifthat’strue…”Herbrowsfurrowed.
Shereachedinsideherpurseandpulledoutherphone.
“Oh.Hejustsentmeatextmessage.”Shegrinned.
“Whatdoesitsay?”
“Hesaidhe’ssorryhedidn’trespondbutworkhasbeencrazysincehegotbackand
he’sbeenpracticallyworking24/7.Hewantstotakemeouttomorrownight.”
“OnaMonday?”Inarrowedmyeyeather.
“Betterthannotatall.”Shesmiled.“I’msurehemissesme.”
“I’msurehedoes,”Ispoketomakeherfeelbetter.
Thetruthwas,somethingwasn’tsittingrightwithmeandthisNathanguy.Nobodyis
thatbusytotaketensecondstoreplytoatextmessage.IfthingswereasgreatinHawaii
asshesaidtheywere,hewouldn’thaveignoredher.Redflagnumberone.
Whensheleft,Itookmyluggagetomyroomandsatdownontheedgeofmybedand
sentatextmessagetoMobileMan.
“Hi.I’mback!”
Aboutanhourlater,hereplied,whichwasunusualforhim.
“Hi.Welcomehome.I’mheadingtobed.Catchyalater?”
“Sure.Catchyalater.”
Isatthereandstaredatthetextmessage,thinkingtomyselfthatheseemedoff.Justas
Iwasabouttotexthimandaskifeverythingwasokay,IreceivedatextfromChristian.
“Hi.IsitbadtosaythatImissyoualready?”
“Hi.Imissyoutoo.”
“Lookoutyourwindow.”
Igavehistextmessageaconfusedlook,gotupfrommybed,andlookedoutmy
bedroomwindow,onlytofindChristianstandingonthesidewalkinfrontofmybuilding
withasmallbaginhishand.Openingthewindowwithasmile,Iyelled,“Whatareyou
doing?”
“Comingbacktoseeyou.That’sifyoudon’tmind.”
“Ofcoursenot.Comeonup.”
ExcitementbarreledthroughmeasIrantothedoorandopenedit,waitingforhimto
stepofftheelevator.Thiswascrazy.Myfeelingswerecrazy.IwassointohimthatI
couldn’tseestraight,andthefactthathecamebackonlyafterjustleavingacoupleof
hoursagomeantthathewasreallyintometoo.
Theelevatordinged,andassoonashesteppedoff,Irantohimandwrappedmyarms
aroundhim.
“Whoa.”Hechuckled.“I’mhappyIcameover.”
“Metoo.”Ikissedhislips.
WewalkedbacktomyapartmentandIimmediatelyofferedhimaglassofwine.
“Soyou’respendingthenight?”Ibitdownonmybottomlipandthecornersofmy
mouthslightlycurvedupwardsintoabashfulsmile.
“Ifyou’llhaveme,yes.”
“Iwilldefinitelyhaveyou.”Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhisneck.
Eloise
Hesetdownhisglassofwineonthecounterandbroughthishanduptomycheekas
hislipssoftlybrushedagainstmine.Mybodyscreamedwithexcitementforitknewwhat
was to come. He slid my leggings off my hips and pulled my sweater over my head,
leavingmeinonlymybraandpanties.Heinhaledasharpbreathasheranhisfingerdown
my cleavage. Our mouths smashed together while I undid his belt, took down his pants,
andbrushedmyhandagainsthishardcock.Hebrokeourkiss,liftedhisshirt,andtossed
itonthefloor.Standinginfrontofme,hiseyesstudiedmefromheadtotoe.
“Youarethemostbeautifulwomanintheworld,”hesoftlyspokeasheleanedinand
swepthislipsacrossmyneck.
Hishandtraveleddownthefrontofmypanties,gentlystrokingmyclitbeforeplunging
afingerdeepinsideme.Iwasalreadywet.HowcouldInotbe?Thismanturnedmeon
more than any other man ever had. I was in a constant state of wetness when he was
around.
Hemoanedwithpleasureasmyfingerswrappedthemselvesaroundhisrock-hardcock
andmyhandmovedupanddownhisshaft.Heexploredme,notonlywithhisfingers,but
withhiswarmtongueasheslidacrossmyneckanddowntomycleavage.Bringinghis
free hand around me, he unclasped my bra with ease and let it fall and then took my
hardenednipplesinhismouth.ThesensationthatflowedthroughmewaseuphoricasIlet
outseveralmoansofpassion.Hepickedmeupandsetmeontheedgeoftheisland.
“Ican’twaitanymore,”hewhisperedashethrustintome.
Igaspedforair,wrappingmylegsaroundhiswaistandleaningbackasfarasIcould
sohehadaccesstomybreasts.Hismouthexploredmeashisthrustsbecamerapid,hitting
alltherightspotsthatonlyhiscockcouldhit.Afterafewmoreintensethrusts,hepicked
meup,myarmswrappedtightlyaroundhisneck,andheldmeashemovedinandoutof
me.Hisstrengthwascaptivatingandmademefeelcompletelysafe.Hecarriedmetothe
bedroomandlaidmedownonthebed,hoveringovermeandstaringintomyeyesashe
performed like a beast. My heart was pounding as I moaned out in contentment at the
orgasmthatshookmyworld.
“That’sit.Fuck,yes,”heyelledoutashehalteddeepinsideandarushofwarmthfilled
withinme.
Christiancollapsedandourbodiesmeshedtogetheraswebothlaytherewaitingforour
breathtoreturntoanormalpattern.Herolledoffmeandlayonhisbackwithhishandson
hischest.
“Areyouokay?”IlaughedasIranmyfingeracrosshisshoulder.
“I’mmorethanokay.”Hegrinnedashelookedatme.
Ikissedhislipsandclimbedoffthebed,struttingmynakedbodyintothebathroom.
“Wouldyoucaretojoinmeforabath?”Iturnedandgavehimasultrylook.
“Iwouldloveto.”
Welaytogetherinthebubblywarmwater.Mybackwaspressedagainsthismuscular
chestandhisarmswerewrappedsecurelyaroundme.Wetalkedalotaboutmyparents
andtheirrelationship.Onethingthathadmeconcernedwashedidn’twanttotalkabout
hisfamily.InoticedeverytimeIaskedhim,hewasvagueandtriedtochangethesubject.
“Istheresomethingyou’renottellingmeaboutyourfamily?”Iasked.
“No.Why?”
“BecauseeverytimeIaskyouaboutthem,youchangethesubject.”
He sighed. “I don’t really want to talk about them right now. We will another time.
Okay?”
“Okay.”Itiltedmyheadbackandlookedupathimashekissedmyforehead.
Afterourbath,weclimbedintomybedandIsnuggledagainstChristianastightasI
could. I fit perfectly against his body and laid my head upon his chest, listening to the
subtle beat of his heart and the soft whispers of his breath. This had become my happy
place.
Thenextmorning,Icouldn’tsleep,soIgotupearlyandmadeChristiansomewaffles.
“Whatisthatdelicioussmell?”Hesmiledashekissedmylips.
“Goodmorning.Imadeyousomehomemadewaffles.”Igrinned.
“Ilovewaffles.”Hepattedmyass.
Ipouredhimacupofcoffeeandtoldhimtositdown.
“CanIseeyoutonight?”heasked.
Iplacedtwowafflesonaplateandsetitdowninfrontofhim.Climbingonhislap,I
spoke,“Youcanseemeeverynight.”
“Mhm.Ilikethesoundofthat.I’llpickyouuponmywayhomefromworkandwe
canhavedinneratmyplace.”
“Ilikeyourplace.”Ismiled.“Especiallyyourbathroom.”
“Ifyoulikemybathroom,thenyou’lllovemybedroomevenmore.”Hislipsbrushed
againstmine.
Hefinishedhisbreakfast,gavemeakissgoodbye,andheadedtotheoffice.Afterhe
left, I got to work on editing the Chanel photos. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mobile
ManandIwassurprisedIhadn’theardfromhimtoday.Thiswasn’tlikehimnottotext
me.
“Topofthedaytoyou!Howareyou?”
Isetmyphonedownandcontinuededitingmyphotos.AboutanhourhadpassedandI
stillhadn’theardfromhim,soIsenthimanothertextmessage.
“Hey,Ihopeeverythingisokay.”
****
Christian
I sat behind my desk and sighed as I stared at her text message. This was killing me
becauseIknewshewashurtingthatMobileManhadn’trespondedtohertextmessages.
Finally,Isaidfuckit,andagainstmybetterjudgment,Isentheramessageback.
“Hey.I’msorryforthelateresponse.Iwastiedupinanimportantmeeting.I’mgood
andeverything’sfine.Howareyou?”
“I’m great! I was worried about you last night. You sounded kind of off. Are things
goingwellwiththatgirl?”
“Things couldn’t be better with her and I’m really happy. Actually, I’m the happiest
I’veeverbeeninmylife.”
“Aw,that’ssogoodtohear.Iwantedtothankyouagainforyouradvice.Likeyou,I’m
the happiest I’ve ever been. He’s such an amazing man. He rented out the Skydeck
Chicagoforthetwoofusandwehadabeautifuldinnertogether.Noonehadeverdone
anythinglikethatformebefore.”
“Wow.Hewentalloutforyou,Digits.Andyouknowwhyhedidit?Becauseheknows
youdeservenothingless.”
“Thankyou,MobileMan.Thatwassweetofyoutosay.”
“Ionlytypethetruth.Ihaveanothermeetingtogetto.Catchyalater?”
“Catchyalater.”
JustasIsetmyphonedown,Clairewalkedintomyoffice.
“Hi,Ihaven’tseenyouallmorning.HowwasChicago?”
“Chicagowasfantastic.Thephotoshootwentreallywell,”Ispoke.
“Ihaven’theardfromEloiseyet.Didthetwoofyougetalongokay?”
Agrincrossedmyface.“Yes.Wegotalongjustfine.”
Hereyenarrowedatmeinasuspiciousway.
“AnythingIshouldknow?”Shecockedherhead.
“Maybeyoushouldwaitandtalktoher.”Ismirked.
“No.It’sokay.Youcantellme.”
“We’reseeingeachother.”Iplacedmyhandsbehindmyheadandleanedbackinmy
chair.
“That’sgreat.”Shesmiled.“Finally.Sohowdiditgowhenyoutoldherthatyouwere
MobileMan?”
Istaredblanklyatherforamoment.
“Ohmygod,Christian.Youhaven’ttoldheryet?”Shetookaseatacrossfromme.
“It’scomplicated,Claire.”
“Oh,Iknowhowcomplicateditis.Youcannotkeepthatfromher.Doyouknowwhat
she’sgoingtodotoyouwhenshefindsoutyouknew?”
“IthinkthebestwaytoavoidthatisformetostoptextingherasMobileMan.Justlet
itgoandbedonewithit.”
“That will hurt her. She really likes Mobile Man. You need to come clean to her,
Christian.It’snotevenanoption.”
“Isn’tisbetterforhertobehurtbysomeoneshe’sneverevenmet?She’llgetoverita
lotfaster.”
Shesatthere,slowlyshakingherheadatme.
“It’s not right. You can’t start a relationship based on a lie. And don’t give me that
‘Whatshedoesn’tknowwon’thurther’spieleither.Onceyoutellher,she’llprobablybe
pissedashell,butNatalie,Scarlett,andIwillbethereforherandtalktoher.We’llhave
yourbackbecauseIbelievethetwoofyoubelongtogether.”
IsighedasIplacedmyhandsonmydesk.
“I’lltellherbytheendoftheweek,”Ispokewithdismay.“ButI’mnottextingheras
Mobile Man anymore. Maybe that way, it won’t be so hard on her when she finds out
why.”
“That’suptoyou.Butit’salsouptoyoutomakethingsright.Ifyoulikeherasmuch
asyousayyoudo,thenyouknowtellingheristherightdecision.”
“IthinkI’mfallinginlovewithher,”Isoftlyspoke.
“Thentellher.”
Claire walked out of my office and I took my stress ball from my desk and threw it
acrosstheroom.
Eloise
TheweekwasflyingbyandIcouldn’tbelieveitwasalreadyThursday.SinceMonday,
I had filmed and edited five videos, three of which were already posted and two more
scheduled for the next two days. I finished the edits for the Chanel Campaign and had
them packaged nicely to take to Christian’s office. Christian and I saw each other every
nightsincewewe’dbeenbackfromChicago,andlastnight,hesurprisedmewithadozen
pink and white roses. I asked him what they were for and his answer: “Just because.” I
wasoncloudnineandthehappiestI’deverbeen.Myparentsinvitedusovertodinneron
SaturdayandIwasbeyondexcitedforthemtomeethim.Iknewtheyweregoingtolove
him.Asforhistextinghabits,hewasrightonpoint.Alwaysrespondedwithintenminutes
or less, and most of the time, he initiated the text messages. Our nightly routine was
adorableasfarasIwasconcerned.We’dhavesex,he’dkissmeandsaygoodnight,and
thenhewouldpickuphisphonefromthenightstandandsendmeagoodnighttext.I’d
lookatmyphoneandthenathimandhe’dgivemethatsexywinkthatmeltedmyheart.
ThetextmessagesbetweenmeandMobileManstartedtofade,andnotbecauseofme.
Hewouldgohourswithoutresponding,andwhenhedid,itwasusuallywithoneortwo
words. Our long conversations we used to have suddenly stopped. I spoke to Natalie,
Scarlett, and Claire about it, and they said he was probably heartbroken that I’d found
someone.Itoldthemtostopbeingridiculousbecausehehadagirlofhisown,theonehe
called the love of his life. So it had to be something else. I was really bothered by it
becauseIconsideredhimoneofmybestfriends.ItoldhimthingsIcouldn’ttellmygirls.
He pulled away and I wanted answers. Normally, I would #Delete him, but we’d never
met, went out, nothing. We only talked every day via texting, so to me, #Delete didn’t
apply in this situation. We weren’t dating and we weren’t interested in each other
romantically.
IgrabbedtheChanelphotosandheadedtoChristian’soffice.WhenIsteppedoffthe
elevator,ClairewasstandingtherewithKenny.
“Hey,youtwo.”Ismiled.
“Hi,Eloise.”Kennykissedmycheek.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“DroppingthesephotosofftoChristian.”
“Ah. Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked as he lightly grabbed my arm and
walkedmeawayfromClaire.
“What’sup?”
“I’mhappyyouandChristianaredating.Iwasworriedthereforawhilethathewould
tryandmakeamoveonClaire.”
Irolledmyeyesathim.
“CanIgiveyouapieceofadvice,Kenny?”
“Sure.”
“Stopthisjealousythingyouhavegoingon.ClairelovesyoutodeathandI’venever
seen her happier. But everyone has their limits, and if you keep this up, you’re going to
pushherawayandintothearmsofanotherman.Iknowyourlastgirlfriendscrewedyou
over,butdon’tletyourpastdefinewhoyouareinthepresent.Trustisveryimportantina
relationship and if you keep giving out that vibe of mistrust to her, you’re going to lose
her.”
“Idotrusther.It’stheothermenIdon’ttrust.”
“Come on, Kenny, we both know the truth. Because of what happened with your ex,
youprojectallthewomenyoudatetobelikethat.AmIright?”
“Idon’tknow.”Helookeddown.
“JustthinkaboutwhatIsaid.Idon’twanttoseethetwoofyousplitupoversomething
thatcouldhavebeenprevented.”
Hegavemeasmallsmileasheplacedhishandonmyarm.
“Thanks,Eloise.”
“Excuseme?”Claireyelled.“Ifthetwoofyouarefinished,Iwouldliketogoeat.I’m
starving!”
IglancedoveratClaireandgaveherasmilebeforeheadingtoChristian’soffice.When
I arrived, he was on the phone but motioned for me to come in. I set the photos on the
tableinhisofficeandhehungupfromhiscallandwalkedovertome.
“God,Imissedyou.”Hekissedmylips.
“Ijustsawyoufivehoursago.”Ilaughed.
“Fivehoursisalongtime,babe.”
“You’reright.Itis.”Ikissedhim.
JoeclearedhisthroatashestoodinthedoorwayofChristian’soffice.
“If you two are finished with your PDA, I would like to see the photographs.” He
smiled. “I brought lunch for all of us. I had your secretary take it into the conference
room.”
Igrabbedthephotosfromthetableandthethreeofuswalkeddowntotheconference
room. Christian gave me the honor of standing at the head of the table and pulling the
photographs out of the envelope one by one. Joe loved them, and when I pulled out the
black and white photo of the model naked in bed with the sheet barely covering her, he
gasped.
“Iwouldrememberthatshot,”hespoke.
“Itookitafteryouleft.IhadanideaandIwentwithit.”
Hegotupfromhisseat,tookthephotofrommyhand,andstudiedit.
“Thisisbrilliant,Eloise.Doyouhaveanyotherslikethis?”
“Afew.”
“SendthemtoChristianassoonasyoucan.IthinkIknowwhatwecandowiththem.
My God, you’re a genius.” He kissed my cheek. “I’ve been wanting to do a special test
campaignforalongtimebutwasafraidtoputitinmotionbecauseoftheotherVP’s.But
this,thisphoto,herlook,theexpressiononherface,itscreamssensuality!”heexclaimed.
“ThisisthevisionIhad.”
“Thankyou.I’mhappyyoulikeit.”
“No,darling.Iloveit.Christian,Iwanttomeetwithyouandyourdesignteam.Our
onecampaignjustturnedintotwo.”Hesmiled.“Ihaveafewerrandstorun.I’llbeback
aroundfiveo’clockforthatmeeting.Isthatokay?”
“Fiveisfine,”Christianreplied.
“Great. Excellent work, Eloise. I will definitely be keeping your number handy.” He
winked.
Christianwalkedoverandwrappedhisarmsaroundme.
“Thankyou.”Hekissedthesideofmyhead.“IknewImadetherightdecisionhiring
youforthisjob.”
“Wasmyworktheonlyreason?”Iarchedmybrowathim.
“I’mnotgoingtoanswerthatquestion.”Hesmirked.
Ihookedmyarmaroundhisandwewalkedbacktohisoffice.Hetookhisphonefrom
hispocketandsetitdownonhisdesk.
“DinnertonightatyourplaceaftermymeetingwithRon?”Hegrinnedasheplacedhis
handsoneachsideofmyface.
“Dinnerorsex?”Iaskedwitharaisedbrow.
“Both.Youcan’thaveonewithouttheother.”Hislipssoftlybrushedagainstmine.
“Iagree.Ifyouwereonlygoingtosay‘dinner,’Iwouldhavedeclined,Mr.Blake.”
“Isthatso?”Hislipstouchedmineonceagain.
“Uhhuh.”Ismiledandourkissdeepened.
“Sorrytointerrupt,Christian,butJimmyaskedifyoucouldgolookatsomethinginthe
draftroomrealquick,”hissecretaryspokefromthedoorway.
“TellhimI’llbethereinaminute.”
“Jimmyinterruptedourkiss,”Ispoke.
“I’llonlybeafewminutes.Ifyouwaitforme,wecancontinuewhereweleftoff.”
Igavehimasmileashewalkedoutofhisoffice.Sittingdowninthechairacrossfrom
hisdesk,IpulledmyphonefrommypursetoseeifIhadanymessages.Ididn’t.Thelast
time I heard from Mobile Man was yesterday afternoon. This whole situation was
botheringmeanditneededtobeaddressed.
“Hi. I don’t know what’s going on and why you’ve practically stopped texting me. If
you’rebusy,pleasejusttellme.Don’tstartpullingthisshit.Notwithmeofallpeople.”
IhitthesendbuttonandChristian’sphonedinged.Ididn’tthinkanythingofit.Istared
atmyphoneandwaitedforareply.Afterfiveminutespassed,Isenthimanothertext.
“Ithoughtwewerefriends,MobileMan.You’redoingtomewhatatypicaldouchebag
guywoulddoandIwanttoknowwhatIdidwrong.”
IhitthesendbuttonandChristian’sphonedingedagain.Ifurrowedmybrowsasasick
feelingwashedoverme.“Mygod,Eloise,don’tbestupid,”Isaidtomyself.
“MobileMan?”
IhitthesendbuttonandChristian’sphonedinged.
“Hello?”
Anotherding.
“Hello?”
Anotherding.
MyheartstartedracingasIslowlygotupfrommychairandwalkedovertowherehis
phonewassittingonhisdesk.Withshakinghands,IpickeditupandsawthenameDigits
appear on his lock screen. A violent wave of nausea overtook me and my legs began to
shake.Thiscouldn’tbehappening.ChristianwasMobileMan?Hewalkedintohisoffice
andstoppedwhenhesawhisphoneinmyhand.
“Eloise?”
“Idon’tknowwhattosay,Christian,”Ispokeinshock.
“I’msosorry.Iwantedtotellyou,butIdidn’tknowhow.”
Istaredblanklyathimforamomentassilenceovertookme.Ittookafewsecondsfor
mybraintoprocesswhathe’djustsaid.
“What?” I cocked my head as tears instantly filled my eyes. “You knew I was Digits
andyoudidn’ttellme?”
“Baby.”Hewalkedovertome.
“STOP!” I put my hand up to prevent him from coming any closer. “ANSWER MY
QUESTION!”Ishouted.
“Yes.Iknew.”Heloweredhishead.
Theairaroundmeconstrictedmylungssotightly,IfeltasifIcouldn’tbreathe.
“Howlonghaveyouknown?”Iaskedinashakyvoice.
“IfoundoutthatnightIcametoyourapartmenttolookatyourwork.”
“Andyoukeptitfromme?Whythefuckwouldyoukeepthatfromme?!”
“Iwantedtotellyou.Ireallydid,andyouhavetobelieveme.Ijustdidn’tknowhow.”
Iswallowedhardasthetearsflowedfreelydownmyface.
“All this time. All those text messages. Text messages spilling my guts about you,
tellingyouhowIfeltandyouencouragingmetoletmyguarddownandgoforit!How
couldyoudothattome?HOW!”Islammedmyfistdownonhisdesk.
“Idon’tknow.Ididn’twanttohurtyou.Andyouneedtorememberthatinallthose
text messages, you, Eloise, YOU were the woman I was talking about.” He pointed his
fingeratme.
“Ohmygod,youusedwhatIsaidtoyouradvantage.Wasthisallagametoyou?”I
scowledathim.
“No.Ofcoursenot!Howcouldyoueventhinkthat?!”hegrowled.
“What were you going to do, Christian? Disappear as Mobile Man and pray I never
foundout?!Wasthatyourplan?!”
“No.”
“Really?Becauseyouhaven’ttextedmesinceyesterdayafternoon!”
“Iwaspullingback.”Heshookhishead.“Fuck,Eloise.I’msorry.Youhavetobelieve
that.”
“Well,Idon’t!”Iscreamed.
“EverythingIsaidtoyouinthosetextmessageswasthegoddamntruth!”heshouted.
“Everysingleword!”
“Wow.”Ishookmyhead.“Ijustrealizedsomething.Youdidn’twanttotalkaboutyour
family because you already told me, and if you told me again, then I would know who
MobileManwas.IsthathowyoufoundoutthatnightIwasDigits?BecauseItoldyou
aboutmyparents?”
“Yes,” he softly spoke. “Then when I told you I had to use the bathroom, I stood
aroundthecornerandtextedyoutoconfirmmysuspicions.”
Iplacedmyhandsonmyheadandpacedaroundhisoffice,tearsstillstreamingdown
myface.
“Fuck!”Iyelled.
“Eloise,please.”
“Don’t.”Ipointedmyfingerathiminanger.“Don’tyousayawordtome.Youdon’t
gettosayanything!Youbetrayedme,Christian.YouknewwhoIwasandyoudidn’ttell
me.”
“You’re right, I didn’t. Maybe if you weren’t so fucking hell bent on not meeting
MobileMan,thisneverwouldhavehappened!”
“Soit’smyfault?”Iyelled.
“What is going on?” Claire asked as she stood in the doorway. “I just got back from
lunchandeveryonecanhearyou!”
“We’redone,Christian.Don’tevercallortalktomeagain.”Igrabbedmypurseand
began to head towards the door. Then suddenly I stopped and turned to him. “Wait a
minute.Youhavetwophonenumbers?Becausethenumberyougavemeisn’tthesameas
MobileMan’s.Wait.Don’tanswerthat.Ifyouwouldhavegivenmeyournumber,Iwould
haveknown.SoyougotasecondnumbersoIwouldn’tfindout?”
He stared at me from across the room and didn’t say a word. His silence told me
everything.
“Ohmygod.Idon’teverwanttoseeyouagain.”Istormedoutofhisoffice,practically
knockingClairedownonmywayout.
Christian
“Eloise,wait!”IshoutedasIbegantogoafterher.
“No, Christian. Let her go,” Claire firmly spoke as she stopped me. “She’s in shock.
Lethergo.”
I walked over to my desk, and in a fit of rage, I swiped my hand across it, knocking
everythingexceptmycomputeroff.
“Whydidyoupickhereintheofficetotellher?”Claireasked.
“I didn’t. Apparently, she was texting Mobile Man and my phone was sitting on the
desk.IwaswithJimmylookingoversomeprints.”
“Waitaminute.Thentherewasnowaysheknewyouknew.”
“Noshit.I’mthinkingthatnow.ButatthetimewhenIwalkedinandsawherstanding
therewithmyphoneinherhand,theonlythingIcouldsaywasthatIwantedtotellher.”
“YOU IDIOT! You could have acted like you didn’t know and you both found out
togetheratthesametime!”
“IrealizedthatafterItoldherIwassorry.I’msostupid.”Isatdowninmychairand
placedmyfaceinmyhands.
“We’lltalkaboutthislater.Ineedtogoafterher.”
I needed to get out of here. Grabbing my briefcase, I left my office and told my
secretarythatIwouldn’tbebackfortherestoftheday.FUCK!Iforgotaboutmymeeting
with Ron. After hailing a cab back to my apartment, I sent a group text message to my
designteamandtoldthemtobeatmyhousepromptlyatfiveo’clockforameeting.Then,
IsentatextmessagetoRon.
“We’llneedtomeetatmyapartmentforthemeetingifthat’sokay?Something’scome
upandIhadtoleavetheoffice.”
“Sure,Christian.Yourplaceisfine.Textmetheaddress.”
****
Eloise
“Eloise,wait,”ClaireshoutedasIwalkeddownthestreet.
“Claire,pleaseleavemealone.Idon’twanttotalktoanyonerightnow.Please.”
Shecaughtupwithmeandlightlygrabbedholdofmyarm.
“WhathappenedbetweenyouandChristian?”
“Ican’ttalkaboutit.Notnow.Please,justgivemesometime.”Thetearscontinuedto
fall.
“Okay.Butpleasecallmelater.”
I gave her a slight nod and continued walking down the street and around the block.
WherewasIgoing?Ithoughthome,buthomewastoofartowalk.SoIwasjustwalking
to nowhere. After wandering around the streets of New York with tears streaming down
myfaceandthesympatheticlooksfromstrangers,Ihailedacabbacktomyapartment.
I needed to calm down. My mind was racing a mile a minute and I couldn’t keep up
withit.Iwasdrained,bothmentallyandphysically.Itookaglassdownandpouredsome
wineintoit.Bringingtheredliquiduptomylips,Igulpeditasifitwerewater.Icould
feelthealcoholsoothingmynervesasitflowedthroughmybody.Pickingupthebottle,I
poured another glass, took it over to the couch, and wrapped myself in my soft gray
blanket. I could hear the annoying dings of text messages coming through to my phone,
butIdidn’tcare.Iwasn’tabouttogetupandseewhomtheywerefrom.Islowlysipped
on my wine as I thought about Christian. How could he do this to me? Of all men, I
thought he was different. He was the rare find I’d been searching for my entire life. All
thosetextmessagesfromhimencouragingmetogooutwithhim.Allthosethingshesaid
aboutwakinguponedayandwonderingwhatcouldhavebeen.Ifeltsicktomystomach
andIjumpedoffthecouchandrantothebathroom,whereIvomitedinthetoilet.WhenI
wasdone,Istartedthewaterforabath.Aftergrabbingabathbombandputtingitinthe
water,Iclimbedinandlaidback,closingmyeyesandtryingtoescapetheshitshowof
today.
My heart was completely shattered. I’d had many broken hearts in my lifetime, but
nevershattered.Icouldn’tcomprehendhisreasoningfornottellingme.OrmaybeIcould.
Itwasallagametohim.HewantedtotakemeoutandIrejectedhim.HeknewIdidn’t
want to date, and when he found out I was Digits, the girl who sent him that nasty text
messagebymistake,hetookadvantageofitforhisownsakeandtogetwhathewanted.
TearsstartedtofalldownmyfaceagainandIlayinthetubandcriedmyshatteredheart
out.
****
Christian
Isatthere,staringintospaceasRonsharedhisvisionwithmydesignteam.Ihurtso
bad.AhurtI’dneverfeltbefore.Notevenwithmyex-girlfriends.Mylifefellapartina
matter of seconds, and over what? Some fucking text messages. I knew what I did was
wrong and I’d struggled with the decision of telling her since I’d found out. I could sit
here all fucking night and analyze the what if’s. But it wouldn’t change anything. The
damagewasdone.Iwasdone.Eloisemadeitveryclearsheneverwantedtoseeortalkto
meagain.Icouldn’tacceptthat.Ineededherinmylife.Iwantedherinmylife.
“EarthtoChristian,”Ronspoke.
Snappingbackintothedarkreality,Ilookedoverathim.
“Sorry.Ihavealotonmymind.”
“Ithinkwe’refinishedhere.”Hesmiled.
“SorryIhadtohavethemeetinghere.SomethingcameupandIwouldn’thavegotten
backtotheofficeontime.”
“It’s not a problem. Everything okay?” he asked. “You’re not having problems with
Eloise,areyou?”
“Wegotintoahugefightearlier.”
Hepattedmeonthebackashewalkedtothedoor.
“Couplesfightallthetime.Youtwowillfigureitout,”hespoke.
“Thanks,Ron.I’llgiveyouacallwhenthecampaignisready.”
“Soundsgood.Takecare,Christian.”
“Youtoo.”
Ishutthedoorandpouredmyselfawhisky,somethingIrarelydrank,buttodayitwas
warranted.Ididacoupleshots,pouredafullglass,andsatdownonthecouchtodrinkmy
troublesaway.HowwasIgoingtofixthis?IguessmeetingherparentsonSaturdaywas
outofthequestion,nottomentiontheBroadwayticketsI’dboughtforSundayevening.
“FUCK!”IyelledasIthrewmyglassatthewall.
Eloise
ThemomentIsteppedoutofthetubandchangedintomypajamas,therewasaknock
atthedoor.
“Eloise,it’sus.Openup!”Natalieshouted.
Rolling my eyes and mad as hell that they couldn’t respect my wishes, I reluctantly
openedthedoorandallthreeofthemstoodtherewithpoutsontheirfaces.
“We’reyourbestfriendsandwe’rehereforyou,”Nataliespokeasshepushedmeaside
andwalkedin.
“Webroughtpizza,”Clairespoke.
“Andicecream.”Scarlettsmiled.
“Iappreciateit,youguys,but—”
“Nobuts,”Nataliespoke.“Whenyou’rehurting,we’rehurting.That’showit’salways
been.”
Scarlettplacedherarmaroundmyshouldersandledmeovertothecouch.
“Yougositdownandgetcomfortable.We’llbringthefoodover.”
“And then you’re going to tell us what the fuck happened with Christian,” Natalie
spoke.
Clairebroughtthepaperplates,napkins,andtheboxofpizzaovertothecoffeetable.
Afterplacingapieceonaplate,shehandedittome.
“I’mnothungry.”
“Wedon’tcare,”shespoke.“Youknowthetradition.Whenoneofusisupset,weall
eatcomfortfoodtogether.”
“Telluswhathappened,”Scarlettspoke.
“You’re never going to believe it. So brace yourselves. Christian Blake is Mobile
Man.”
“Shutthefuckup!”Natalieexclaimed.
“Ohmygod,Eloise,”Clairespoke.
“I’msorry.What?”Scarlettasked.
Iexplainedtothemthewholestoryandtheysatthereincompleteshock.
“Ihavenowordsforwhatyoujusttoldus,”Scarlettspoke.
“I’msorry,Eloise.”Nataliehookedherarmaroundmeandpulledmeintoher,which
mademecryevenharder.
“I’msorry,”Clairespoke.“Ican’tbelieveChristianwoulddosomethinglikethat.”
“Well,believeit,”Ispokewithahintofanger.“He’sanassholeliketherestofthem.”
“Eloise,Iknowyou’reinshockoverthis,butjusttrytothinkrationallyforaminute.
Yes,heknewyouwereDigitsandhedidn’ttellyou.ButyouknewMobileManbefore
him and you connected with him instantly. Then you met Christian and you connected
withhimalmostinstantly.Thesameperson.Doesn’tthatsaysomething?”Claireasked.
“He used knowing that I was Digits to his advantage! He pushed me to go out with
him.Togivehimachance.Iwillneverforgivehimforthat.Hedeceivedmeandthatis
somethingIwillnotputupwith.”
Wetalkeduntilaboutonea.m.andthegirlsdecideditwastimetoleave.
“Tryandgetsomesleep.We’llcallyoutomorrow,”Clairespoke.
“Thanksforbeingpushy.”Imanagedasmile.
“That’swhatsisterfriendsarefor,baby.”Nataliehuggedmetight.
Afterthey left andI locked up,I climbed into bedand tried toget comfortable. I lay
thereandstaredatthesidethatwasstillmadeupwherehe’dlaywithmeatnight.Even
thoughwehadn’tspentmanynightstogether,itfeltlikeithadbeenyears.Ifellforhim
andIfellfast.JustlikeIknewIwouldthemomentImethim.Iclosedmyeyesandfinally
driftedoffintoadeepsleep.
I struggled to open my swollen eyes, and when I did, it was daylight. When I rolled
overandlookedatmyclockonthenightstand,itreadtwothirty.Myheadwaspounding
and my eyes hurt too much to keep them open, so instead, I gave in and went back to
sleep.Ididn’tcarewhatwasgoingonintheoutsideworld.AllIwantedtodowassleep
andforgetabouteverythingandeveryone.
****
Christian
Istumbledintotheofficearoundtwelvethirty,andwhenIwalkedpastClaire’scubicle,
shelookedatme.
“Youlooklikeshit,”shespoke.
“Ifeellikeshit,anddon’tforgetI’mstillyourboss.”
Iwalkedintomyofficeandshefollowedbehindmewithacupofcoffee.
“Here,”shespoke.
“Thanks.”
I sat down at my desk and immediately took out the bottle of aspirin from the top
drawer.
“Howisshe?”Iasked.
“How do you think, Christian? She’s broken, devastated, and a mess. We were at her
apartmentlastnightuntilonea.m.tryingtocomfortherbecauseshecouldn’tstopcrying.”
Isighed.
“Isentheracoupleoftextmessages,butshedidn’trespond,”Ispoke.
“Youreallythoughtshe’drespondtoyou?Sheprobablyalready#Deletedyourdumb
ass. And she probably blocked your number as well. I’ve been with her through many
heartbreaksandI’veneverseenherlikeshewaslastnight.”
“I’msorry,Claire.Ireallyam.I’minlovewithherandIwon’tacceptneverseeingher
again.”
“Well,Idon’tknowwhatyou’regoingtodo.Allshekeptsayinglastnightwashow
youbetrayedanddeceivedher.You’rejustgoingtohavetogivehersometimetocalm
down.Maybeonceshedoesandsheclearsherhead,she’llbeabletothinkmoreclearly
andbeopentotalkingtoyouaboutit.”
“Thanks,Claire.I’msureyourotherfriendshateme.”
“Theydo.”Shesmiled.“Isortofstuckupforyou,butEloisewasn’thavingit.”
“Iappreciateit.ButIdon’twantyoutogetinvolved.ThelastthingIneedisforher
gettingmadatyou.”
“I’vegottogetbacktowork.”
“Thankyouforthecoffeeandthechat.”
“You’rewelcome.”Shesmiledasshewalkedoutofmyoffice.
Eloise
Itwassixo’clockp.m.whenIfinallyclimbedoutofbed.Walkingintothebathroom,I
splashedmyfacewithsomecoldwaterandlookedatmydreadedselfinthemirror.My
eyeswerestillpuffyandredandIhadblotchesallovermyface.Mybodyachedandit
wasastruggletoevenwalktothekitchentomakeacupofcoffee.Whilethecoffeewas
brewing,IpulledmyphonefrommypurseandsawIhadtwomissedcallsfromNatalie,
threemissedcallsfromScarlett,onemissedcallfromClaire,adozentextmessagesfrom
allthreeofthem,andtwomessagesfromChristian.Likeanidiot,Iopenedthemessages
fromChristianfirst.
“Eloise,pleasetalktome.I’msosorryforeverything.Weneedtotalkthisout.”
“IknowI’vehurtyouandIcan’tsaysorryenough.I’mbeggingyoutopleasetalkto
me.Thelastweekwespenttogetherwasthebestweekofmylife.You’rethebestthingthat
haseverhappenedtome.Please,baby.Pleasejusttalktome.”
IsenttextmessagesbacktothegirlstellingthemthatIwasokayandthatIwasgoing
toshutmyphoneofffortherestofthenightanddosomework.Ineededtokeepmyself
occupied, but I didn’t want to go out. Opening my emails, I sat there sipping my coffee
and reading the compliments I had received from women all over the world who were
usingthe#Deletemethod.Icouldsensetheexcitementintheirwordsandhowmyvideos
and blog posts had helped them so much. I started reading over some of my older blog
postsandcameacrossoneIhadforgottenabout.Itwasapostaboutnotallowingyourself
towallowinself-pityandhurtformorethantwenty-fourhoursafterabreakup.Ireaditas
ifsomeoneelsehadwrittenit.
Who was I? Who the hell was I to give out this advice if I wasn’t going to take it
myself?IfeltlikeafraudasIsattherefeelingsorryformyselfinsuchadevastatedstate.
The pain hadn’t lessened, but I knew I had to get myself back on track, no matter how
harditwouldbe.SoIputonsomemakeup,fixedmyhair,andfilmedavideoonhowto
dealwithabreakupandwhatyoushoulddotohelpyourselfheal.
After I was done filming, I decided to wait and edit the video tomorrow morning. I
thought about cancelling dinner with my parents because I dreaded telling them what
happenedbetweenmeandChristian.Butstayinghomeandfeelingsorryformyselfwasn’t
anoption.Plus,Ihadn’tseentheminawhile,andrightnow,Ineededmymom.Looking
overChristian’stextmessagesagain,Idecidedtorespond.Notforhim,butformypeace
of mind. It felt weird texting him as Christian at the number I’d only known as Mobile
Man’s.
“You’re sorry. I get that. But I can’t be in a relationship with someone who deceived
me.Evenafterwhattranspiredyesterday,Istilllikeyou,butIdon’tneedyou.Iwasfine
beforeyouwalkedintomylifeandI’llbefinenowthatyou’regoneandnolongerinit.”
Ihitthesendbuttonandthrewmyphonedown.IexpectedaresponseASAP,butasthe
nightwenton,aresponsenevercame.I’dsaidmypeaceinaniceway.Icouldhavegone
offonhimandcalledhimeverynameinthebookbecauseGodknowshedeservedit,but
Icouldn’t.TheintensepainIfeltinsidewasdisappointment.Disappointmentinthefact
thatChristiandidn’tturnouttobewhoIthoughthewasorwhoIwantedhimtobe.
****
Christian
Her text message to me was brutally heartbreaking. To be honest, I expected a lot
worse.Atleastshedidn’ttellmethatshehatedme.Shestilllikedme,butshedidn’tneed
me and those words right there caused a lump in my throat that nearly suffocated me. I
neededtorespond,butIdidn’tknowwhattosay.SoIdidn’t.IsaidwhatIneededtoin
mylasttwotextmessagesandshesaidwhatsheneededtoinhers.Butjustbecauseshe
didn’tneedmedidn’tmeanthatIwasgoingtostoptrying.EloiseandIbelongedtogether.
ImadeonestupidmistakeandIwouldspendtherestofmylifefiguringouthowtomake
ituptoher.Shemayhavethoughtshedidn’tneedme,butshedid.Sheneededmetolove
her,tobethereforherwhenshewashavingabadday,andtosupportherineverything
shedid.
****
Eloise
Thenextmorning,Iclimbedoutofbedatsixa.m.andheadedtothegym.Itwasn’ta
placeIwenttoeveryday,butonoccasionwhenIfeltlikeIneededtogetbackintomy
self-lovepractices,Iwouldgo.Thepaininmyheartwasstillheavy,butIwasgoingto
practicewhatIpreached.Iallowedmyselftwenty-fourhoursofdepressionandwallowing
in self-pity and that was long enough. I needed to get back to my life before Christian
steppedintoit,andIwasdeterminedtogetthroughthis,nomatterwhatittook.
I put my headphones on and climbed on the treadmill. As I was running and looking
outthewindowatthepeoplepassingbyonthestreet,IsawChristianwalkin.Whatthe
fuck?Washestalkingmeorsomething?Anunsettlingnervousnesstookoverme.There
was no way he could see me. I was at the opposite end of the door, second row,
sandwiched between two other people. I watched as he checked in and stared straight
ahead as he walked to the locker room. I let out the deep breath I was holding and
continuedtorun.Heliftedweights,soIwaspositivehewouldgototheweightareaand
thenIwouldn’thavetoseehim.Thegirlthatwasnexttomeclimbedoffanditwasthe
onlytreadmillopen.Myheartstartedrapidlypoundingasthoughtsofhimgettingonnext
me infiltrated my head. I stared straight ahead, and as I listened to my music, I silently
prayed.
Crisis averted. I ran on the treadmill for forty-five minutes and then I needed to get
homeandeditmyvideosoIcoulduploadit.Iturnedoffmymusic,tookmyheadphones
off,andheadedtothelockerroom,prayingallthewayhewouldn’tseeme.
“Hey,Eloise,waitup!”Iheardaman’svoicespeak.
IturnedaroundanditwasCurtis,oneofthemodelsIshotforamagazinespread.
“Curtis,hey.Howareyou?”InervouslyspokebecauseIdidn’twanttostopandtalk.
ButIcouldn’tberude.
“I’mgood.Howareyou?You’reanearlybirdthismorning.”Hegrinned.
“Yeah.ThoughtI’dcomeinanddosomecardiobeforestartingtheday.”
“Itwasgoodtoseeyou.Haveagreatday!”
“Youtoo,Curtis.”
Just as I turned around to go to the locker room, I ran right into Christian. Our eyes
lockedandthetensionbetweenuswasnoticeable.
“Eloise,”hesoftlyspoke.
“Ididn’tknowyoucametothisgym,”Ispoke.
“I usually go to the other one by my apartment, but they didn’t have any power this
morning,soIcamehere.Ididn’tknowyoucamehere.”
“Idosometimes.”Iswallowedhardashestoodbeforeme,asweaty,sexymess.
“Weirdhowwebothseemtobeherethismorning,”hespoke.
“Ineedtogo.Ihavethingstodo.”Ibegantowalkaway,whenhecalledoutmyname.
“Eloise?”
Istoppedbutdidn’tturnaround.
“I’msorryforeverything.ThelastthingIeverwantedtodowashurtyou.”
Icontinuedwalkingtothelockerroom,andwhenIreachedit,Isatdownonthebench
andtriedtoholdbackthetearsthatwereforcingtheirwayout.Igrabbedmystuffandgot
outofthereasfastasIcould,wenthome,editedmyvideo,anduploadedit.
TwoWeeksLater
Eloise
I kept myself busy by making videos, picking up a couple of photography jobs, and
going out with my girls. Today was Hannah’s birthday party and I couldn’t wait to give
herthedollI’dboughtherinChicago.ItookthelidofftheboxtoputthepajamasetI’d
boughtinside.IpickeditupandasmallsmilecrossedmylipsasIrememberedChristian
wastheonewhopickeditout.Itwasasmilewithatingeofsadnessmixedin.OnedayI
wascompletelyfine,andthenext,sadnesscreptinwhenIsawthingsthatremindedmeof
him.
MyfathersatdownandhadatalkwithmethatdayIwenttomyparents’house.He
askedmeifImadealistofprosandcons,andtobehonest,Ididn’t.Ihadinthepastwith
otherguys,butforsomereason,itdidn’tcrossmymindwithChristian.Hehandedmea
pieceofpaperandapenandImadethelistinfrontofhim.Theresultsdidn’tsurpriseme.
Ontheconside,therewasonlyonethinglisted;whathedidtome,orshouldIsay,what
hekeptfromme.Myfatherlookedatmewithasmallsmileandtoldmetothinkabout
thatlistbecauseeverybodyisentitledtomakeamistakeatleastonceintheirlife.
IwrappedupthedollandheadedovertoScarlettandJeff’sapartment.Iwasthefirstto
arrive,whichwasnosurprisetoanyonesinceIalwayslikedtobealittleearly.
“I’msohappyyou’rehere.”Scarlettsmiledasshehuggedme.
“Goodtoseeyou,Eloise.Howareyou?”Jeffaskedashelightlykissedmycheek.
“I’mokay.”
“IhavetotellyouthatI’vebeenwatchingyourYouTubechannel.IfIwereawoman,I
wouldtotallybeinspiredbyyou.”Hesmirked.
“Thanks,Jeff.”Ilaughed.
“Listen,there’ssomethingIwanttotalktoyouabout.”
“Sure,whatisit?”
“A friend of mine is hosting a woman’s personal growth seminar at the PlayStation
Theaternextweekendandshe’stryingtofilltwospotswherespeakershavehadtocancel.
I was telling her about you and she watched one of your videos and she’s highly
impressed. She said she would love to have you as a guest speaker if you’re interested.
Therewillbeapproximatelyfifteenhundredwomenattending.”
“Areyouserious?”Iaskedinshock.
“Yes.”Hereachedintohiswalletandhandedmeherbusinesscard.“HernameisTalia
Springwater.Giveheracall.Ithinkyou’dbegreat.”
“Idon’tknow,Jeff.I’veneverspokeninfrontofaliveaudiencebefore.”
“Youspeaktomillionsofpeopleallovertheworldeveryday!”Scarlettchimedin.
“That’sdifferent.I’mbehindacamera.Idon’tactuallyseethepeople.”
“Ithinkyoushoulddoit.It’llbegoodforyou.”Shesmiled.
IthankedJeffandputTalia’sbusinesscardinmypurse.Everyonehadstartedtotrickle
inandthepartybegan.IsatwithClaireandNatalie,andasweate,Iaskedtheirthoughts
aboutparticipatinginTalia’sseminar.
“Ithinkit’sagreatidea.You’dbeafooltoturnitdown,”Clairespoke.
“This is what you’re passionate about. Plus, you never know what other doors this
opportunitycouldopen.”Nataliesmiled.
“Bytheway,where’sNathan?Ithoughthewascoming.”
“SodidI,butsomethingcameupandhehadtocancel.”Nataliefrowned.“Ithinkthe
time has come to #Delete him. I’m not playing this cat and mouse game with him. Me
being the cat and chasing him. Like you say, he’s giving low investment. Do you know
thathedidn’ttextorcallmefortwodays?”
“Whatwashisexcuse?”Iasked.
“Hewasoverwhelmedwithwork.”Sherolledhereyes.
“Istillthinkhehasagirlfriend,”Clairespoke.
“I’msorry,Natalie,butIhavetoagree.”
“Yeah.Mygutistellingmethesamething.Ididn’twanttobelieveitatfirst,butthings
arestartingtopointinthatdirection.”
Scarlett helped Hannah open her gifts and when she got to mine, Hannah ripped the
babyfromtheboxandhuggedhertight.
“Ohmygod,Eloise,Ilovethis,”Scarlettspokeassheheldupthepajamas.
Tearsstartedtofillmyeyes.Damnit!
“What’swrong?”Natalieaskedassheputherarmaroundme.
“Nothing.It’sjustlookathowmuchHannahlovesherdoll,”IspokeasIlightlywiped
myeye.“ItkindofremindsmeofwhenIgotmyfirstAmericanGirldoll,Maggie.”
That wasn’t the reason at all. The reason was those damn pajamas reminded me of
ChristianandthetimewespenttogetherinChicago.
“YouboughtthatdollinChicago.Areyousurethereisn’tanotherreasonwhyyou’re
alltearyeyed?”Natalieasked.
“No.Thereisn’t,”Ilied.
“Comehere,youlittleliar.”Shepulledmeintoher.“Ithoughtyouweredoingbetter.”
“Iam.Atleastninetypercentofthetime.Chicagowasoneofthebesttimesofmylife
andthememorywillalwaysbethere.Soit’sokaytogetalittlesadthinkingaboutitevery
onceinawhileknowingthatIwon’texperiencethatagain.”
“Youcouldalwaysgiveacallorshoothimatext,”Clairespoke.
“WhywouldIdothat?Anyway,I#Deletedhim.SoIdon’tevenhavehisnumberor
numbers anymore. Remember, he got a second one so I wouldn’t know he was Mobile
Man.” I narrowed my eye. “I don’t want to talk about Christian anymore. Let’s go have
somecake.”Ismiled.
Eloise
Thenextmorning,afterbeingupallnightthinking,IpulledTalia’sbusinesscardfrom
mypurseandgaveheracall.
“TaliaSpringwater,”sheanswered.
“Hi,Talia.MynameisEloiseMooreandamutualfriendofours,JeffWoodsbury,said
thatyouwereinterestedinmebeingaguestspeakerforyourseminarnextweekend.”
“Ah,yes.Eloise.I’msohappyyoucalled.Iwouldlovetohaveyouasaguestspeaker.
I’veresearchedyourblogandI’vewatchedyourYouTubechannel.Imustsay,youreally
caughtmyattentionwithyour#Deleteconcept.Myseminarisaboutempoweringwomen
ineveryaspectoftheirlifeandpersonalgrowth,andIthinkyourtalkabout#Deleteand
guysbehavingbadlywouldfitinperfectly.Ithinktoomanywomensitaroundandwaste
theirtimewithaguywhoisn’tseriousaboutthem.LordknowsI’vedoneitmanytimes.”
“Thankyou,Talia.Aftergivingitsomethought,I’dlovetobeaguestspeaker.”
“Excellent!AreyouavailableforlunchtomorrowafternoonatBryantParkGrill,say
around twelve thirty?” I’d love to meet you first and tell you a little bit about my
seminars.”
“Twelvethirtywouldbegreat.I’llseeyouthere.”
“Thankyou,Eloise,forgettingintouch.Ilookforwardtomeetingyou.”
IendedthecallandsatthereforamomentwhileIsippedmycoffee.Iwasstartledbya
knockonmydoor.Gettingupfromthetable,Ilookedoutthepeepholeandaskedwhoit
was.
“IhaveadeliveryforMissEloiseMoore,”theyoungmanspoke.
Iopenedthedoorandhehandedmealargeenvelopemarked“fragile.”
“Thankyou.”IsmiledasIshutthedoor.
I noticed the return address was from Christian’s firm, Blake Group. Opening the
envelope,IpulledoutthreelargeChanelcampaignphotoswithanotefromChristian.
HerearethefinalphotosfortheChanelcampaign.Ithoughtyou’dliketohaveacopy
ofeachforyourportfolio.ThepeopleoveratChanellovedthemandareverypleased.
Thankyouagainforbeingapartofthecampaign.Thiswouldn’thavebeenpossible
withoutyou.
ChristianBlake
I stared at his name for a moment until the sudden ring of my phone startled me.
Pickingitup,IsawitwasNataliecalling.
“Hello,”Ianswered.
“I just found out Nathan has a girlfriend that he’s been living with for about six
months.”
“Howdidyoufindout?”
“A couple came in and wanted to hire me for their son’s birthday party. We got to
talkingandshementionedherbrotherwasanarchitect.Iaskedherhisnameandshesaid
Nathan.”
“DoyouknowhowmanypeopleinNewYorkhavesiblingsnamedNathan?”
“WholivesonLongIslandandjustwentonabusinesstriptoHawaiithathecan’tstop
talkingabout?”
“Oh.I’msorry,Natalie.”
“Metoo.Butyousaidrightfromthestartsomethingwasoff.Ishouldhavelistenedto
youafterhecancelledoursecondandthirddateatthelastminute.”
“Youknowwhattodo,right?”Iasked.
“Alreadydone,sista!”
“Doyouneedsomefriendtime?”
“Nah.I’mokay.Justanotherdouchebagtotossintothesea.”
Iletoutalightlaugh.“Theseaisgoingtobeoverfilledwiththemshortly.”
“I’lltalktoyoulater,Eloise.Ihaveaclientmeetinginten.”
“Okay.Bye.”
IcontinuedlookingatthephotosandthoughtthatmaybeIshouldsendChristianatext
messagethankinghimforsendingthemover.Hecouldhavebroughtthemhimself,buthe
didn’t because he knew I wouldn’t want to see him. I respected him for that. It was
obvious to me that he was already over our breakup. It didn’t surprise me, though; men
usuallyrecoveredquickerthanwomendid.
Itwasthemiddleoftheafternoon,andafterIfinishedfilminganothervideo,Idecided
totakemylaptoptoStarbucks,orderacoffee,andeditmyvideothere.Ineededtogetout
of this apartment. As I was editing, I happened to look up and see Christian standing in
line. Instantly, my heart started racing. What was he doing here in the middle of the
afternoon? He didn’t see me, but then again, he wasn’t looking around. He ordered his
drinkandstoodinthepickuplinewhileitwasbeingmade.Thiswasmyopportunityto
thankhimforthephotossinceIcouldn’ttexthim.ButdidIwantto?Textinghimwasone
thing, but doing it in person was another. He grabbed his coffee from the counter and
startedheadingtowardsthedoor.IwrestledwiththedoIordon’tI.ThedoIwon.
“Christian,”Iyelled.
Heturned his headand looked atme. He stood stillfor a momentand then made his
wayovertomytable.
“Hello,Eloise.”
“Hi. I’m happy I saw you here. I got the photos you sent over this morning. Thank
you.”
“You’rewelcome.Ithoughtitwouldbeaniceadditiontoyourportfolio.”Helightly
smiled.
Nowtheawkwardnesssetin.Neitheroneofusknewwhattosaytoeachother.
“Sowhatareyoudoinghereinthemiddleoftheafternoon?”Iasked.
“I had a meeting not too far from here. I’m heading back to the office now. Are you
working?”Hepointedtomylaptop.
“Yeah.I’meditingavideo.”
“Cool.Well,itwasgoodtoseeyou.Enjoytherestofyourday.”
“Thanks.Youtoo.Hey,Christian?”Ispokeashebegantowalkaway.
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to be a guest speaker for Talia Springwater’s seminar at the PlayStation
Theaternextweekend.”
“Really?I’veheardofher.Wow.That’sgreat,Eloise.Congratulations.”Hesmiled.
“Thankyou.I’mreallynervous.I’veneverspokeninfrontofalargecrowdlikethat
before.”
“You’lldofine.”Hewinked.“Ihavetogetgoing.”
“Okay.Catchyalater?”ThosedamnwordsjustfelloutofmymouthandIwantedto
dieathousandtimesover.Whatthefuck?
Hestaredatmeforamomentandhiseyesburnedintomine.
“Catchyalater.”Hesmirked.
Afterheleft,Ibroughtmyhandtomyforeheadandpoundedonit.
“Youidiot!”Iwhisperedtomyself.“Whatthehellwereyouthinking?”
Christian
IwalkedoutofStarbuckswithasmileonmyface.Iwassurprisedshecalledmeover,
which,tome,wasagoodstart.IhadbeenwatchingherYouTubevideosandmissingher
moreandmoreeveryday.Ineededtoprovetoherthatweweremeanttobetogetherand
thatIcouldbethemanshe’dbeensearchingforherentirelife.
WhenIarrivedbacktothefirm,IcalledClaireintomyoffice.
“What’sup,Christian?”sheaskedasshetookaseatacrossfromme.
“IjustranintoEloiseoveratStarbucks.”
“Oh?Andhowdidthatgo?Ordon’tIwanttoknow?”
“Shewassittingatatableandcalledmeover.”
“What?Seriously?”
“ShethankedmefortheChanelphotosIsentherthismorning.”
“Oh yeah. She probably would have sent you a text message, but you’ve been
#Deleted.”
“I figured as much.” I sighed. “Anyway, she told me she was going to be a guest
speakernextweekendforTaliaSpringwater.”
“Ohgood,sheisdoingit.NatalieandItoldhershe’dbecrazynotto.So,shewascivil
toyou?”
“Yes. Very much so. I’ve ordered her something and it should be arriving to her
apartmentinacoupleofdays.”
“Whatdidyouorderher?”Shesmiled.
“I’mnotgoingtosay.You’lljusthavetowaitandsee.”
“Oh,comeon,Christian.”
“I’msureshe’llbecallingyouonceshegetsit.”
“Fine.”Shehuffed.“Butwhydidyouorderhersomething?”
“BecauseIknowshe’llloveitandIwanttomakehersmileagain.”
Eloise
AcoupleofdayshadpassedandmylunchwithTaliawentwell.Iexpressedtohermy
anxietyandnervousnessaboutspeakinginfrontofalargegroup.Shelaughedandtoldme
everyonegetslikethattheirfirsttimeonstage.Shegavemesometipsandtoldmejustto
gowiththeflowandletthelecturehappennaturally.
I was sitting on the couch with my laptop making a couple of PowerPoints for the
weekend,whentherewasaknockatmydoor.Ilookedthroughthepeepholeandsawit
wastheUPSguyholdingalargeboxinhishands.WhenIopenedthedoor,helookedat
thepackageandthenatme.
“AreyouEloiseMoore?”heasked.
“Yes,Iam.”
“ThisisforyouandI’llneedasignature.”
HehandedmetheboxandIsignedforit.
“Thankyou.”Ismiled.
“Haveaniceday.”Hetippedhishat.
IhadnoideawhatthiscouldbebecauseIhadn’torderedanythinginawhile.Itookthe
scissorsfromthekitchendrawerandsliditdownthebox.Liftingtheflaps,Istaredatthe
large red box that had American Girl written across it and the white envelope that
containedacardinsidetapedtoit.Afterremovingtheenvelope,Itookthecardoutthat
saidAmericanGirlingoldacrossitandopenedit.
Eloise,
ThetimewespenttogetherwasmagicalandatimeIwillneverforget.Ihurtyouina
badwayandI’mtrulysorry.IknowhowmuchMaggiemeanttoyouandhowthelossof
herwasdevastating.Iwantedyoutohavesomeoneyoucantellyourdeepestsecretsto
whenyoufeellikeyoucan’ttellanyoneelse.Ihopethisdoesn’tupsetyou.Thatisn’tmy
intention.Iknowyou’lltakegoodcareofherandgiveherthehomeshedeserves.Shewas
madespecialforyou.
Love,Christian
A single tear fell from my eye as I read his note. Removing the lid from the box, I
cuppedmymouthinmyhandandbegantocryasIlookedattheAmericanGirldollthat
lookedjustlikeme;longbrownhairwithcurlsattheendandemeraldgreeneyes.Ididn’t
knowwhattothinkbecauseIcouldn’t.Myheadwasinatizzyandmillionsofthoughts
wererunningthroughmyheadatthesametime.Iremovedthedollfromtheboxandheld
hertight.Wipingmyeyes,Itookherovertothecouchandsatdown.Sheworeawhite
dress with small pink roses all over it, a plum sash around the waist, and a light blue
denim jacket. I smiled when I looked down at her plum-colored Mary Jane style shoes.
But the one thing that really choked me up was the little camera she held in her hand.
OnceIcomposedmyself,Isentagroupmessagetothegirls.
“I really need you all to come over tonight for dinner. Six o’clock. Scarlett, bring
HannahifJeffwon’tbehome.”
Afewmomentslater,allthreeofthemrepliedthattheywouldbehere.AsIstaredat
the doll, I knew I needed to name her. She looked just like Maggie and I didn’t see any
harminnamingherthat.Afterall,somepeoplenamedtheirnewcatsanddogsafterthe
oneswhopassedaway.
“Welcomehome,Maggie.”Ismiled.
I finished my PowerPoint with Maggie by my side and placed a delivery order for
Chinese, ordering everyone’s favorite dish. When six o’clock rolled around, there was a
knockatmydoorandNatalie,Scarlett,andClairestoodontheotherside.
“Iseverythingokay?”Natalieaskedasshehuggedme.
“Ithinkso.”
“Whatdoyoumean?”Scarlettasked.
“Where’sHannah?”
“Mymomcameoverandtookherforthenight.”
“Isthereareasonforthislast-minutedinnergettogether?”Claireaskedasallthreeof
themfollowedmeintothekitchen.
“Whatthefuckisthat?”NatalieaskedasshelookedatMaggie.“Thatdolllooksjust
likeyou.”
“OhmyGod.YouboughtanAmericanGirldoll!”Scarlettexclaimedasshepickedher
up.
“Ididn’tbuyher,”Ispoke.“Shearrivedtoday.”
IpickedupChristian’snoteandhandedittoherwhileNatalieandClairereaditover
hershoulder.AtearfellfromScarlett’seyeastheothertwotriedtoholdtheirsback.
“Thismanisnot#Deleteworthy,”Nataliespokeasshewipedhereye.
“Ican’tevenbelievehedidthat,”Clairespoke.
“Ifyoudon’tmarryhim,Iwill!”Scarlettsaid.“Thathastobethesweetestthinginthe
world.”
Icouldn’thelpbutletoutalightlaugh.“You’remarried.”
“I’lldivorceJeff.”Shesmiled.
Nataliewalkedovertomeandhuggedmetight.Thentheothertwojoinedus.
“Youneedtorethinkeverything,Eloise,”Clairespoke.
“Iagree.He’snotatypicaldouchebagguy.HemadeamistakeandIthinkhe’smore
thanenoughmadeituptoyou.”
“Whatdidhesaywhenyouthankedhim?”Claireasked.
“Ihaven’tyet.Idon’thavehisnumber,remember?”
“ThenIthinkyoushoulddoitinperson.”Shesmiled.
“She’sright,Eloise,”Scarlettspoke.
“Yeah.Thisisathankyouthatisinpersonworthy,”Nataliespoke.
“Okay.I’llstopbytheofficetomorrow.”
“He’llbethereallday.Hedoesn’thaveanymeetingsscheduled,”Clairespoke.“Plus,
I’llbethereifyouneedsupport.”
Afterweate,talked,anddrankabottleofwinebetweenthefourofus,Ichangedinto
mypajamas,satMaggieonmydresser,andclimbedintobed.Ilaytherethinkingabout
tomorrowandwhatIwantedtosaytohim.Mydadwasright,everyoneisentitledtomake
a mistake in their life. It’s how we learn and grow as human beings. My father also
pointedoutthathewasn’ttheperfectmanIsawhimas,andifwetrulycaredforsomeone,
we’daccepttheirflaws.Christianwasn’tamanwhoconsistentlybehavedbadly.Hedid
whathedidbecausehewasafraidofwhatmyreactionwouldbeandlosingme.I’ddone
thingsbeforeIwasn’tproudofoutoffear.ItoldhimthatIlikedhim,butIdidn’tneed
him.Thatstillrangtrue.Ididn’tneedhimtobeinmylife,Iwantedhimtobe.
Eloise
ItookinadeepbreathasIsteppedintotheelevatorandtookituptotheBlakeGroup.
WhenIsteppedout,IwenttoChristian’sofficeandhewasn’tinthere.
“CanIhelpyou?”hissecretaryasked.
“I’mlookingforChristian.Ishearound?”
“Hejuststeppedout.Heshouldbebackshortly.”
“Thankyou.IsitokayifIwaitinhisoffice?”
“Ofcourse.”Shesmiled.
Itooktheseatacrossfromhisdesk,andafewmomentslater,hewalkedin.
“Eloise?”
“Hi,Christian.”Igotupfrommyseat.
“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
MynervesweregettingthebetterpartofmeandIfounditdifficulttospeak.
“Ijustwantedtocomeandthankyouinpersonforthedoll.Shearrivedyesterday.”
“You’rewelcome.”Hesmiledashestoodinfrontofme.“Ihopeyoulikeher.”
“Ido.Iloveher.”Ismiled.
“What’shername?”Hesmirked.
“InamedherMaggie.”
“Ifiguredyouwould.”Hegrinned.
“Listen,Christian.IjustwantyoutoknowthatIforgiveyou,andmaybe—”
“Iknowyoudo,Eloise,andIthinkIknowwhatyou’regoingtosay.Ididn’tsendyou
thedollwiththehopesofgettingbacktogether.Itwasasmallgesturetohelphealthe
woundthatIcaused.Ithinkmaybewe’rebetteroffwiththewaythingsare.”
Istoodthereinshockasmypartiallyhealedheartbrokeonceagain.
“Yeah.Maybeyou’reright.”Ilookeddown.“Thankyouagain,”IspokeasIcouldn’t
getoutoftherefastenoughbeforethetearsstartedtofall.
“You’rewelcome.I’llseeyouaround.”
“Sure.”IgaveasmallsmiletodeflectthehurtIwasfeelinginside.
****
Natalie,Scarlett,andClairedraggedmeouttoHellcatAnnie’s.Ididn’twanttogo.All
Iwantedtodowascurlupinbedandsleeptherestofthedayandnightaway.Butthey
weren’thavingit.Assoonaswewereseated,Iorderedacosmopolitanwhilewelooked
over the menu. I wasn’t hungry because my stomach was nothing but a tightly twisted
knotofsorrowanddespair.ThethreeofthemtalkedwhileIpretendedtolisten.
“Cheerup,buttercup,”Nataliespokeassheplacedherhandonmine.
“Yeah.We’reheretohavefuntonightwithlotsofalcoholandcomfortfood,”Scarlett
spoke.
AsIfinishedoffmydrink,Iheldmyfingeruptogetourwaiter’sattention.Ineeded
anotherdrinkASAP.
“Excuse me. I’m headed over to the bar. What can I get you?” Christian asked as he
pointedtomyemptyglass.
Istaredathimasasmilecrossedhisface.
“Acosmopolitan.”
“Onecosmopolitancomingrightup.”Hewinked.
Ilookedoveratthegirlsandtheysattheresmilingatme.Ididn’tknowwhatthehell
was going on, and between seeing Christian and the alcohol, my heart was beating at a
rapidpace.
“We have to use the bathroom,” Claire spoke as all three of them got up from their
seats.
Afewmomentslater,Christianwalkedoverandsetmydrinkdownonthetable.
“Thankyou,”Ispoke.
“You’rewelcome.I’mChristianBlake.”Heextendedhishand.
Istaredathimforamomentwithanarrowedeye.
“EloiseMoore.”Iplacedmyhandinhis.
“It’snicetomeetyou,Eloise.WouldyoumindifItookaseat?”
“No.Iwouldn’tmindatall.”
“Haveyoueatenyet?”heasked.
“Icouldn’tdecidewhattoget,”Inervouslyspoke.
“Theirpulledporkslidersarethebest.Haveyoutriedthem?”
“No.Ihaven’t.ButIthinkIwouldliketo.”Asmallsmilecrossedmylips.
Ourwaiterwalkedoverandaskedifwewerereadytoorder.
“We’llbothhavethepulledporksliderswithfries,”Christianspoke.
“Wehavethreeotherpeoplesittingwithus.Theyjustwenttotherestroom,”Ispoketo
thewaiter.
“Actually,” Natalie spoke, “we need to get going. So you two enjoy the rest of your
evening.”Shesmiled.
Ilookedatthemsuspiciouslyastheysaidgoodbyeandlefttherestaurant.
****
Christian
WithClaire’shelp,Ihadthisallplanned.Iwantedtostartoverfromthebeginning.Just
thetwoofus,ChristianandEloise.NoMobileManandnoDigits.Iaskedherabouther
career,sheaskedaboutmine,andwetalkedaboutourfamilies.Itoldhereverythingabout
myparentsandmychildhood.Wesatforfourhoursandjustgottoknoweachotheragain.
Itwasaftermidnightwhenwefinishedoffdessertandourlastdrink.
Welefttherestaurantandstoodonthebrightlylitstreetof10
th
AvenuewhereIhailed
heracabhome.
“Ihadanicetime,Eloise.Iwouldlovetoseeyouagain.”Ismiled.
“Iwouldlovetoseeyoutoo.”Shesmiledbrightlybackatme.
“CanIgetyourphonenumber?”
“Ofcourse.I’dloveforyouhaveit.”
SherattledoffhernumberandIpretendedtoputitinmyphonebecauseIalreadyhad
it.Iquicklysentheratextmessage.
“I’vesentyouatextmessagesoyouhaveminenow.”Ismirked.
Iopenedthedoortothecabandsheclimbedin.
“Catchyalater?”Iaskedwithagrin.
“Catchyalater.”Thecornersofhermouthcurvedupintoaflirtysmile.
Forthenextfewdays,weflirtedviatextandthenwestartedseeingeachotheralmost
everynight.Ididn’tdaremakeamoveonher,eventhoughitkilledmenotto.Iwanted
her in my bed more than anything in the world, but all good things come in time. I
rememberedhertellingmethatsheneversleptwithaguyuntilafterthefifthdate,andI
wantedtorespectthat,eventhoughIknewshewasgettingrestless.AllwasgoodandI
wouldmakesureitwasworththewait.
Eloise
Iwassexuallyfrustratedandhewasn’tmakingamove,butIknewexactlywhyhewas
waiting.IhadmentionedafterwehadsexthefirsttimeathispartythatIdidn’tsleepwith
guysbeforethefifthdate,andIwasprettysurehewaswaitinguntilthen.Icouldn’thelp
butsmileasIthoughtaboutit.Hewastheperfectgentleman,eventhoughIdidn’twant
himtobeasfarassexwasconcerned.Asfordatenights,wetookturnsplanningthedate.
Our fifth date would be tomorrow night, Saturday night, after my speaking
engagement,andIthoughtmoreaboutthatthanthelectureIwasgiving.Itwasmyturnto
planthedateandIhadnothingbutsexplanned.Theoverwhelmingfeelingofhappiness
wasbackandmyheartwaswholeonceagain.
OncewordgotoutthatIwasgoingtobeaguestspeakeratthePlayStationTheater,six
hundred more tickets were sold, placing the theater at full capacity. I couldn’t wrap my
head around everything that had happened so fast. It was as if #Delete made me an
overnight sensation. Between the emails and messages, I found it hard to keep up, so I
askedScarlettifshewouldbemypart-timeassistantandshecouldworkfromhome.She
jumpedatthechanceinasecond.
AsIwasgoingovermyPowerPointonelasttime,atextmessagecamethroughfrom
Christian.
“Hello,gorgeous.I’llbebytopickyouupatsixo’clockfordinner.”
“Hello, handsome. I’ll be ready and waiting. Maybe we can come back to my place
afterforadrink.”Isentthewinkyface.
“Iactuallymadeotherplansforusforafterdinner.”Hesentthesmileyface.
“Oh?Whatarewedoing?”
“You’llhavetowaitandfindout.”
“Areyoubeingsecretive?”
“Yes,Iam.It’sasurprise.”
“Ilovesurprises.
“Iknowyoudo.I’mheadingtoameeting.Catchyalater,baby?”
“Catchyalater.”
I smiled as I closed out of his message, gave my PowerPoint another look over, and
then got ready for our date. Christian’s planned date consisted of dinner at The Todd
EnglishFoodHallatthePlazaHotelandthenwewereofftoIdidn’tknowwheresincehe
waskeepingitasecret.Afterwefinishedeating,wewalkedoutofthehotel,andsittingat
thecurbwasahorseandcarriage.
“Yourrideawaits,Madame.”Christiansmiledasheheldmyhand.
“We’regoingonahorseandcarriageride?”Iaskedwithexcitement.
“Yes,throughCentralPark.”
With Christian’s help, I climbed into the carriage and he climbed in next to me. The
driverhandedusablanketsincethechillyairhadsettledintothefallnights.Christianput
his arm around me and as soon as I snuggled into him, he covered us with the warm
blanket.
“Thisisbeautiful.Thankyou,”Ispoke.
“You’rewelcome.”Hekissedthetopofmyhead.
ItwasabeautifulridethroughCentralPark,andwhenitwasover,Christiantookme
home.
“Ithinkyoushouldcomeupstairsforadrink.”IsmiledasItookthelapelsofhiscoat
inmyhands.
“WebothknowwhatwillhappenifIdo.”Hesmirked.
“And?”Iraisedmybrow.
“Youhaveabigdaytomorrowandyouneedalltherestyoucanget.”
Isighed.
“Hey.”Heplacedhisfingerundermychin.“Tomorrownightisyourturntoplandate
nightandwecandoanythingyouwant,andImeananything.”Hewinked.
Asmilecrossedmylips.
“Trustme.Wewillbe.”
Heleanedinandbrushedhislipsagainstmine.
“Goodnight,Eloise.”Hestrokedmycheek.
“Goodnight,Christian.”
****
Christian
Sayinggoodnighttoheronthedoorstepofherbuildingwashard.Iwantedtocomeup
toherapartmentforadrink,butwebothknewhavingadrinkwasn’toneitheroneofour
minds.ThepastfewnightsbeingwithherweredifficultbecauseallIwantedtodowas
take her to bed and never let her go. I could tell she was getting frustrated with me, but
thiswaswhatneededtohappen.
Tomorrowwasabigdayforher,andwhatshedidn’tknowwasthatI’dboughtaticket,
notonlyformyself,butforherfriendsaswell.Ididn’twanttotellherbecauseshe’dbe
even more nervous than she already was. So, we’d just sit quietly in the way back and
watchfromafar.
Eloise
I stood behind the curtain, waiting for my turn. I was scheduled to go on stage in
approximatelyfiveminutes.WasIready?FuckifIknew.ThemoreIthoughtaboutit,the
moreanxietysetin.I’dmadenotecardslikeaschoolkidgivingapresentationinfrontof
the class. I stood there and studied them. Christian and I met for breakfast this morning
and he gave me a pep talk. It helped. He always helped me. Even when he was Mobile
Man,Iinstantlyfeltbetteraftertalkingtohim.
“You’reon,Eloise!”Taliasmiled.“Goodluck.”
“Thankyou.”Igaveheranervoussmile.
My name was announced and I stepped on stage. I introduced myself, looked at my
cards, and froze. Suddenly, my mind went blank and I couldn’t comprehend what I had
writtendown.
“Get hold of yourself!” I silently yelled in my head. “All these people want to hear
whatyouhavetosay!Don’tletthemdown!”
I stared at the massive crowd of women who sat proudly in their seats. Women who
have,atleastonceintheirlifetime,dealtwithmenbehavingbadly.Isetmycardsdown
onthechairattheendofthestageandthenItookcenterandwelcomedeveryoneinthe
theaterasIstartedover.
“MynameisEloiseMooreandI’mheretotalktoyouaboutaconceptcalled#Delete.
This concept applies to girls/women who are single and a part of the dating scene. I’m
goingtoshowyouwhattobeonthelookoutforwhennewlydatingaguy.I’mgoingto
teachyouabouttheredflags,ghosting,benching,zombie-ing,breadcrumbing,andallthe
othersignsofmenbehavingbadlyearlyonindating.Weaswomenspendfartoomuch
timeandenergywaitingfortheguyswe’reinterestedintotextorcallus,andthenwhen
theydon’t,wefreakout,cry,wonderwhat’swrongwithus,whatdidwedowrong,why
don’t they want us, how can I fix them, etc. The truth behind that is, it isn’t us. We did
nothingwrong.Itcouldbeassimpleastheguywasn’tfeelingit,whichisokay.You’re
notgoingtomeshwitheveryoneyoumeet.
But when a guy shows interest and behaves badly, then it’s up to us to take action.
That’swhere#Deletecomesin.Themomenthestartsshowingsignsofallthemillennial
dating terms I previously spoke of, it’s time to get rid of him and not play his games.
Women today are too busy for games and we don’t deserve to be treated like that. The
most important thing I can’t stress enough is for a woman to have standards. Once you
know exactly what your standards are, you’ll be able to spot the red flags instantly. For
example,youmeetamanandyoubothshowinterestineachother.Yougoonacoupleof
dates and then suddenly the text messages and the calls stop. No warning and no
explanation.Twoweeksgobysinceyourlastdateandstillnothing.Thatguyghostedyou,
disappeared without a trace. You’ve been glued to your phone 24/7, staring at a black
screen, hoping and praying he’ll call. Your stomach is a nervous wreck and you keep
replaying your last date over and over again, wondering what went wrong. You finally
break down and send him a message. He doesn’t respond. Your self-esteem is broken.
Then a week later, he sends you a text, and you beam with excitement. Then you don’t
hearfromhimagain.Youtrytopickyourselfup,butyoucan’tgethimoutofyourmind,
andwhy?Thequestionyouneedtoaskyourselfisthis:AmIreallyintohimorisitthe
rejection that hurts me the most? Really stop and think about that. You’d only gone out
withtheguyacoupleoftimes,sentafewdozentextmessages,andmaybehadaphone
call or two. I can guarantee you that through all the nonsense you put yourself through
overthisoneguyyoubarelyknew,itwastherejectionaspectofit.
It’s very important that you, as a high valued woman who knows her self-worth and
standards,givethesameinvestmentasthemanyou’retryingtodatedoes.Ifhe’sgiving
lowinvestmentintogettingtoknowyoubetter,yougivelowinvestmentback.Nobodyis
evertoobusy,andifaguyreallylikesyouorwantstogettoknowyouonadeeperlevel,
he will make time to do it. I don’t care if he’s held up in meetings from nine to five. It
takes as little as thirty seconds to type a message and hit send. Does he not go to the
bathroom all day? Does he not get a lunch break? What about when he gets home from
work? If a man can’t take thirty seconds out of his busy day to say hi or that he’s just
thinking about you, then he’s not thinking about you at all and it’s time to #Delete and
stopwastingyourtime.Samegoesforaguywhotakesthreedaystorespondtoyourlast
textmessage. Is thatreally the kindof person you wantto date? NowI’m not saying to
#Delete him if he has an excuse and lets you know ahead of time, such as he’s going
campingandwon’thavereceptionorsomething.Theimportantthingtorememberis,ifhe
ghostedyouonce,he’lldoitagain.
Now,let’stalkabouttheguywhoshowsheisinterestedinyouviatextmessagingbut
never actually takes you out or has any intention of actually getting serious. Let’s say
you’vebeentalkingtothisguyforaweek.You’regettingtoknoweachotherandyou’re
wonderingwhyhehasn’taskedyououtyet.Afterall,heseemsreallyintoyou.Youmake
theboldmoveandaskhimoutforcoffeeormaybefordinner.Hemakesanexcuseasto
why that weekend won’t work for him. Another week goes by, and suddenly, the text
messagesbecomescarce.He’snottextingyouasmuchanymore.Yourmindstartstogo
crazy.Youtalkaboutitwithyourfriends.Yourphoneneverleavesyoursightjustincase.
Anotherweekgoesby,andoutoftheclearblue,hesendsyouatextsaying‘Hey,what’s
up?’or‘Hey,howareyou?’Instantly,youperkupandrespondbacktohimimmediately,
whichbytheway,isoneoftheworstthingsyoucoulddo.Youtellhimhowyou’redoing
and how good it is to hear from him. You sit there and wait, watching your phone for a
reply because he had just texted you a minute ago. But a reply doesn’t come. You’re
devastated and the cycle starts all over again. He’s doing what we like to call
breadcrumbing. He may have been bored, feeling a little lonely or down and needed an
ego boost. There are guys out there who like to keep a woman they’ve previously been
talkingtoonthebackburnerforthoseinstances,andbygivinghimaninstantreply,you
just showed him that no matter how sporadic or dick-like his messages are, you’re still
interested. Which leads me into the term ‘benching.’ He’s not sure about you yet or
someoneelsegrabbedhisattentionwhilethetwoofyouwerestilltalkingeverydaywho
hethoughtmaybemoreinterestingorabetterfitforhim.Butinsteadofcuttingyouoff
completely,hesatyouonthebenchjustincaseheneedstocomebacktoyousometime
inthefuture.He’llthrowatextoutthereormaybeaphonecall,justtomakesureyou’re
stillinterested.Iliketocallthisemotionalmanipulationandit’snotokay.
So what happens after you’ve been ghosted and then all of a sudden, a few months
later,yougetatextmessagefromtheguyaskingwhat’sup?Now,he’sZombie-ingyou,
orhauntingyou.Maybetherelationshiphegotintowiththewomanheghostedyoufor
wasn’tworkingout,sohecameacrossyournumberinhisphoneandthoughthe’dreach
out because maybe you were still thinking about him. My advice, do not reply to the
zombie at all! If he did it once, he’ll do it again. Obviously, there was nothing there for
himafewmonthsagowhenthetwoofyouweretalking,sowhywouldtherebenow?
Whendoyou#Deleteaguyoutofyourlife?
1.
Hedoesn’trespondtoyourtextmessagesinatimelymanner.Ifhe
waitsfiveorsixhours,that’snotagoodsign.LikeIstatedbefore,itonlytakes
thirty seconds to type a text message and hit send. If you aren’t worth thirty
secondsofhistimeinaday,#Delete.
2.
Heaskedyouout,youwentonadate,hadagreattime,andthenhe
disappears.#Deleteanddon’tgivehimanotherthought.
3.
He’scancelleddatesonyoutwoormoretimesinarow.#Delete.
4.
Histextmessagesbecomescarceandyoustartreceivingonehereand
there over a two- to three-week period. #Delete, especially when he doesn’t
offeranexplanationforhislackofmessaging.
5.
Heghostedyou,you#Deletehimandthenhereturnsafewmonths
laterasifnothinghappened.Donotrespondand#Deleteagain.”
Theguyswhodothesetypesofthingsaren’ttheguysforyouandit’snottheendofthe
world.
By accepting their behavior and stressing over why he hasn’t called or texted, you’re
blocking the right person who was meant for you from coming into your life. I believe
thereisaspecialmanoutthereforeachandeveryoneofus,andsometimes,wehaveto
gothroughmanydouchebagsinordertofindourPrinceCharming.
So,ladies,knowyourself-worth,setyourstandards,loveyourselffirst,#Deletewhen
necessary,andwatchyourlifechange.Ipromiseyou,itwill.”
Thecrowdapplaudedandstoodfromtheirseats.TearsfilledmyeyesasItookabow
andexitedthestage.
“OHMYGOD!Youwereamazing!”Taliahuggedme.“Theylovedyou,Eloise.”
“Thankyou.”
“You’reanaturalatthis.Ibelievethisisyourcalling.”
“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”Iblushed.
“Ithinkthestandingovationspokeforitself.”Shesmiled.
Eloise
Iwalkedtothelobbyofthetheaterandwasinstantlygreetedandcongratulatedby
manywomen.Theonesthatboughtticketsjusttoseemeswarmedaround,tellingme
howthey’veincorporated#Deleteintotheirdatinglifeandhowmuchithadchanged
them. I felt like some sort of superstar, when really, I was just a girl who had gone
througha lot ofshit in herdating life. Many askedfor pictures withme and I smiled
withjoy.
AsImademywaythroughthecrowd,IsawChristian,Natalie,Claire,andScarlett
standingbythedoors.
“Whatareyouguysdoinghere?”Iaskedastearsfilledmyeyes.
“Didyoureallythinkwe’dmissthis?Yourdebutstageappearance?”Nataliehugged
me.
“Youwereamazing!”ClaireexcitedlyspokeasshegrabbedmefromNatalie’sarms
andhuggedme.
“I’msoproudofyou,boss!”Scarlettsmiled.
“Thankyou.”
“We’re going to leave the two of you alone.” Natalie grinned as she looked at
Christian.“I’llcallyoutomorrow.”
Christianwrappedhisarmsaroundmeandkissedmylips.
“Youwerespectacular,baby.Iamsodamnproudofyou.”
“Ididn’tknowyouwerehere.”
“I didn’t want you to be any more nervous than you already were.” He smirked.
“Maybe this isn’t the place to tell you, but I don’t care because I need to say it right
now,inthismoment.”
“Saywhat?”Icockedmyhead.
“Iloveyou,Eloise.IaminlovewithyouandI’mnotgoingtostoplovingyou.”
Awidegrincrossedmyfaceasmyheartrapidlybeat.
“Iloveyoutoo,Christian.”
Hislipsbrushedagainstmineandthenhelookedatme.
“Didn’tyousaysomethingaboutourdatetonightbeingbackatyourplace?”
“Isuredid.”Ismiled.“Ithinkweneedtogetbacktherenow!”
“Icouldn’tagreemore.”Hekissedmyhead.
The moment we entered my apartment, Christian scooped me up in his arms and
carriedmetothebedroomwherewemadelovethreetimesthatnight.Andeachtime
wasjustasmagicalasthefirst.
****
SixMonthsLater
His finger dipped inside me and I gasped. Our mouths tangled with passion and I
trembled at the touch of his hand on my breasts. I took down his pants with ease and
releasedhisthrobbinghardcockinmyhand.Afterafewstrokes,hepushedeverythingon
myoverlyclutteredtabletothesideandsetmeonit.Hepositionedhisheadinbetween
my legs and explored every inch of my aching area with his tongue. I orgasmed and he
smiled as he stood up and thrust inside me, my body taking in every inch of him. He
movedinandoutofmerapidlybringingmetothebrinkofanothermindblowingorgasm.
I yelled out his name as he halted deep inside and moaned while he released his
excitementinme.
HislipspressedagainstmineandIsmiled.
“I’moutgrowingthisplace.”
Hechuckledashelookedaroundthetableatthemessthatconsumedit.
“Yes,youare.Youneedaplacewithanoffice.”
“Iknow.I’vebeenthinkingaboutfindinganewapartment.”
“I’llhelpyoulook.”Hekissedmyforeheadandpulledoutofme.
“I’dappreciatethat.”Igrinned.
“Ihavearealestateguy.I’llgivehimacalltomorrow.”Christianspokeashehanded
me my clothes. “We need to be at my parents’ house in fifteen minutes. I think we’re
goingtobelate.”
Ilaughed.“Yeah.Wecan’tgetacrosstowninfifteenminutes.Youmightwanttocall
them.”
“And tell them what? We’re going to be late because we just had sex on your dining
roomtable?”
“Justtellthemwe’restuckintraffic.”Ismirked.
I loved Christian’s parents and they loved me. My parents felt the same way about
Christian and he and my dad started going on golf outings together. Even though
photography was my first passion, I put my business on hold due to the success of my
blogandYouTubechannel.ThingsweremovingintherightdirectioneversinceIspokeat
thePlayStationTheater.IendedupguestspeakingacoupleofmoretimesforTaliaand
then I began booking seminars on my own, with the help of Scarlett, who was now my
full-timeassistant.Acoupleofmonthsago,Ibeganwritingabookandcalledit#Delete,
whichwascontractedbyGrandCentralPublishing.
Christian’s advertising agency was growing bigger by the day. He had secured a few
majoraccountsincludingChanel.ButthestipulationwasthatIhadtodothephotography
part of the campaign, which I pleasantly accepted. After all, I couldn’t very well turn
downChristianorChanel.
AfewdayshadpassedandIspentsomefreetimelookingatnewapartmentsonline.I
askedChristianifhisrealtorhadfoundanythingandhetoldmethathewaslooking.AsI
finishedthelasteditsonanewvideoformyblogandYouTubechannel,myphonerang
andChristianwascalling.
“Hello,handsome.”
“Hello,mybeautifulgirl.Whatareyoudoingrightnow?”
“Nothing.Ijustfinishedediting.Why?”
“Canyoumeetmesomewhere?Iwanttoshowyousomething.”
“Sure.Wheredoyouwanttomeet?”
“113East61
st
Street.”
“Okay.I’llleavenow.”
I ended the call, put on my shoes, and hailed a cab to 113 East 61
st
Street. When the
driverpulleduptothecurb,IsawChristianstandingthereonthesidewalkwaitingforme.
“Hello,gorgeous.”Hesmiledashekissedmylips.
“Hithere.”Igrinned.“Sowhatdidyouwanttoshowme?”
Hetookholdofmyhand,ledmeupfivestepstoawhitebuilding,openedthegorgeous
Frenchglassdoor,andledmeinside.
“Wow.Thisisbeautiful.Whosehouseisthis?”Iasked.
“I’mhopingit’soursifyoulikeit.”Hesmiled.
“What?”Ilaughed.“Whatdoyoumean‘ours’?”
“Ithinkweshouldmoveintogetherandthiswouldbetheperfecthousetodothatin.”
“Areyouserious,Christian?”
“I’m very serious, Eloise. I love you and I want to live with you. We practically live
together anyway, so we might as well just do it in one house. No more back and forth
betweenourapartments.”
“Ohmygod.I—yes!Iwouldlovetomoveintogether.”
“Here?”Hisbrowraised.
“Possibly.Showmetherestofit.”Igrinned.
Hesmiledashetookmyhandandledmethroughthesix-storytownhome.
“Ithasfivebedroomsandfivebathrooms,”hespoke.
“Doweneedthatmanyrooms?”Iasked.
“Ofcoursewedo.Abedroomforus,twoofficesandtwochildren.”
Istoppeddeadinmytracksandstaredathim,myheartracingwithexcitement.
“What?”Hecockedhishead.
“WhatifIwantedthreechildren?”Ismirked.
“Thenwe’dhavetomove.Nobigdeal.”Heshrugged.
Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhisneckandbrushedmylipsagainsthis.
“IlovethisplaceandIloveyou.”
“Good,becauseIlovebothofyoutoo.”
Atthatmoment,itwasadonedeal.ChristianandIwouldmoveintogetherandstart
buildingalifeinournewhome.
TwoMonthsLater
Christian
Now that Eloise and I were living together in our own home, it was time to take the
nextstep.Herbirthdaywasapproaching,soIdecidedtowhiskherawaytoChicagofor
herbirthdayweekend.Whatshedidn’tknowwasthetwosurprisesIhadforher.
“Wherearewegoing?”sheaskedaswewalkeddownN.MichiganAve.
“You’llsee.”IwinkedasIheldontoherhand.
WereachedtheAmericanGirlstoreandIopenedthedoorforher.
“Whyarewegoinginhere?”Shelaughed.
“IthoughtmaybeyouwantedtobuyMaggieanewoutfit.”
“Really?”Shegavemeastrangelook.
“Yes.Really.Tobehonest,I’msickofseeingheralwaysdressedinthesameclothes.
Brightenherupalittle.”
WelookedattheclothesandEloisepickedoutanoutfitsheliked.
“I’mhungry.Let’sgoseeifwecangetsomelunchhere,”Ispoke.
“Wedon’thavetoeathere.Wecangosomewhereelse.Ireallydon’tthinkthisisyour
thing,Mr.Blake.”
“Nobigdeal.Let’sjustgoseeiftheyhaveanytablesavailable.”
IwalkedhertotheGrandDiningRoom,wherethedoorswereshutandthehostesswas
standingoutside.
“Iwaswonderingifyouhadatablefortwoavailable?”Iasked.
“Ofcoursewedo.Followme.”
Themomentthedoorsopened,everyoneyelledhappybirthday.Eloisecuppedherhand
overhermouthinshockandthenlookedatme.
“Christian,whatthe—”
“Happybirthday,baby.”Ikissedthesideofherhead.
****
Eloise
I stood there in shock. I couldn’t believe what I saw. My mom, dad, Scarlett, Jeff,
Hannah, Claire, Kenny, and Christian’s mother and stepfather. Tears filled my eyes as I
lookedatChristian.
“YouthrewmeanAmericanGirlbirthdayparty?”
“Idid.”Hesmiled.
I walked over to the center of the dining room where my family and friends were
standing.Allmygirls,includingmymomandChristian’smom,wereholdingAmerican
Girldolls.Wehuggedandsometearswereshed,mostlybyme.
“Someoneelseisheretocelebratewithyou,”Christianspoke.
IturnedaroundandhewasholdingMaggie.
“Howdidyougetherhere?”
“Isnuckherintomycarry-onasyouwerewalkingoutthefrontdoor.”Hegrinned.
Itookherfromhishandsandthenhuggedhimtight.
“Thankyouforthis.Iloveyousomuch.”
“You’rewelcome,baby.Iloveyoutoo.”
Weallgatheredaroundthetable,ateadeliciouslunch,hadcakeandicecream,talked,
andlaugheduntilwecouldn’tanymore.Ourtimewasupandweneededtoleavetheroom
sotheycouldsetupforthenextparty.
“He’sperfect,Eloise.”Mymomsmiled.
“Iknowheis,Mom.”
“Heremindsmeofyourfather.”Shewinked.
Igaveherasmileandahug.
“Areyouready,baby?”Christianaskedasheplacedhishandonthesmallofmyback.
“Yeah.I’mready.Whatarewedoingnext?Iseveryonecoming?”
“We’regoingtogoexploreChicagoandleavethetwoofyoualone,”Clairespoke.
“Yeah.I’msureyouhavesomeprivatecelebratingtodoafterthis.”Nataliesmiled.
“I’ve booked a dinner reservation for all us at the Skydeck Chicago at eight o’clock.
So,we’llseethemthere,”Christianspoke.
We headed back to the hotel, and once we got inside the room, I wasted no time
thankinghimforeverythinghe’ddoneforme.
“Ican’tmove.”Christiansmiledashelookedoveratme.
“Meeither.”IgiggledasIsnuggledagainsthim.
After a short nap, we showered and dressed for dinner with our family and friends.
WhenwereachedtheSkydeck,everyonewasalreadythere,andIwassurprisedtoseewe
weretheonlypeopleintheplace.
“YourentedouttheentireSkydeckagain?”Ismiled.
“OfcourseIdid.Thisisaprivateoccasion.”
Christianheldmyhandaswewalkedovertojoinourguests.
“I’mnotreallycomfortableuphere,”Nataliespoke.
“Iwasn’tatfirsteither,butit’ssobeautiful.”
“Iguess.”Shesighed.
“Ican’tbelieveChristiandidallthisformeandhadyouallcomeouthere.”
“I can.” She smiled as she hooked her arm around me. “He’s the Prince Charming
you’vebeensearchingforyourwholelife.”
“IknowandIalmostblewit.”
“No you didn’t. He would have never given up on you, and he would have kept on
fightingnomatterhowlongittook.”
“Youthink?”Iaskedwithasmile.
“Iknow.”
“Eloise, let’s go out on the ledge before dinner,” Christian spoke as he walked up
behindme.
Ihookedmyarminhisasheledmetotheledgeandweonceagainstaredoutatthe
beautifullylitChicagocity.
“Iloveyou,Eloise,”hespoke.
“Iloveyoutoo,Christian.”Ismiledathim.
Heplacedhishandinhispocketandsuddenlyhegotdownononeknee.
“Christian,whatareyoudoing?”Ibegantoshake.
“I think you know.” He winked. “I have never in my life loved anyone as much as I
love you. You complete me, Eloise. From the moment I saw you, I knew I had to make
youmine.”
“Oh,Christian.”Thetearsstartedtorise.
“Youaretheepitomeofloveandyoumakemydaysandmylifesomuchbrighter.You
aremybestfriendandmylover,andnow,Iwouldloveforyoutobemywifeandspend
therestofyourlifewithme.Eloise,willyoumarryme?”
“Yes, Christian! Yes, I will marry you!” I exclaimed as the tears streamed down my
face.
Hetookthetwo-caratprincesscutwhitegoldringfromtheboxandslippeditonmy
finger.Thenhebroughttheringtohislips.Everyoneclappedwithexcitementashestood
upandswungmearound.
“Ican’tbelievethis!”Icried.
“Believe it, baby, ‘cause it happened. We’re getting married.” He brushed his lips
againstmine.
“Ican’twaittoplanthiswedding!”Nataliescreeched.
Wecelebratedintotheweehoursoftheeveningandthenwentbacktothehoteland
celebratedalone.Icouldn’tstopstaringatthebeautifulringthatsatonmyfingerasmy
headlaidagainsthischest.
Mylifewasperfect.Iwasmarryingthemanofmydreams,mybookhadhit#1onthe
New York Times Bestsellers List, my YouTube channel grew to over two million
subscribers, I started doing seminars around the world, Ted Talk, and I was offered my
ownradioshowforanhourthreetimesaweekcalled“AskEloise.”NowIwouldmove
ontothenextphaseofmylifeandbecomeMrs.ChristianBlake.
Rememberladies,yourPrinceCharmingisoutthere,andyou’llknowitwhenyoufirst
meethim.Ifyoudon’thaveto#Deletehim,he’sakeeper.
Ifyouhaven’talreadydoneso,pleasecheckoutmyotherbooks.Escapefromrealityand
intotheworldofromance.I’lltakeyouonajourneyoflove,pain,heartacheandhappily
everafters.
Millionaires:
TheForeverSeries(ForeverBlack,ForeverYou,ForeverUs,BeingJulia,Collin,A
ForeverChristmas,AForeverFamily)
Love,Lust&AMillionaire(WyattBrothers,Book1)
Love,Lust&Liam(WyattBrothers,Book2)
LieNextToMe(AMillionaire’sLove,Book1)
WhenILiewithYou(AMillionaire’sLove,Book2)
ThenYouHappened(HappenedSeries,Book1)
ThenWeHappened(HappenedSeries,Book2)
HisProposedDeal
ALoveCalledSimon
TheSeductionofAlexParker
SomethingAboutLorelei
OneNightInLondon
TheException
CorporateA$$
ABeautifulSight
TheNegotiation
Defense
PlayingTheMillionaire
SecondChanceLove:
RememberingYou
SheWritesLove
LoveInBetween(LoveSeries,Book1)
TheUpsideofLove(LoveSeries,Book2)
Sports:
Lightning
SandiLynnisaNewYorkTimes,USATodayandWall
StreetJournalbestsellingauthorwhospendsallherdays
writing.Shepublishedherfirstnovel,ForeverBlack,in
February2013andhasn’tstoppedwritingsince.Heraddictions
areshopping,goingtothegym,romancenovels,coffee,
chocolate,margaritas,andgivingreadersanescapetoanother
world.
Pleasecomeconnectwithherat:
www.facebook.com/Sandi.Lynn.Author
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