The Virgin Billionaire

A Ravenous Romance™ Original Publication

Ryan Field

A Ravenous Romance™ Original Publication

www.ravenousromance.com

Copyright © 2010 by Ryan Field

Ravenous Romance™
100 Cummings Center
Suite 123A
Beverly, MA 01915

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in whole or in part without written
permission from the publisher, except by reviewers who may quote brief excerpts in connection
with a review.

ISBN-13: 978-1-60777-349-8

This book is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely
coincidental.

Chapter One

When the taxi dropped Luis off at 95

th

Street and Riverside Drive, the sun had just begun

to rise. He pulled a twenty-dollar bill from his white dinner jacket, handed it to the driver, and

took a quick look at his face in the rearview mirror. Though his dark beard was beginning to

show, his green eyes were still wide and clear and his short brown hair was as neat as it had been

ten hours earlier. If he hadn’t been wearing a formal tuxedo, it would have looked as though he’d

just had eight solid hours of sleep and he was on his way to the office. At twenty-one years old,

he could get away with staying out all night.

He told the driver to keep the change, and jumped out of the taxi with a spring in his step

and carefree smile on his face. He jogged across the street without looking both ways and

ignored the honking horns, as if the passing cars were merely an inconvenience. When one car

screeched to a stop avoid running him down, he didn’t even turn his head. At the edge of the

park, he walked up to a food vendor who was setting his cart up for the day. He bought a hot

pretzel and a small bottle of Virgin Alaskan Spring Water, his favorite brand.

He took a large bite from the pretzel and walked over to an empty park bench with a view

of the river. Before he sat down, he checked to be sure the seat was dry. It was one of those dewy

mornings in early May, without a cloud in the sky or a breeze in the air, and he didn’t want a wet

stain on his tuxedo. He suspected that by noon, it would be warm and sunny enough to wear

shorts and a T-shirt. The joggers and power walkers had already begun to infiltrate the park.

While they passed Luis on the bench, with their arms bobbing and their red faces pinched and

sweaty, Luis pulled out his iPhone and opened his bottle of water.

Then he crossed his legs and shifted his weight to the right. He lifted the phone, pressed

an application, and sighed out loud. When his favorite Web site appeared on the small screen, he

smiled and held the phone closer. There was a brand-new post on his favorite blog that would

help him get through the rest of the day. This particular blog, for Luis, was like a dose of

medicine. All he had to do, whenever he felt jaded or disappointed, was to look at the familiar

banner at the top of the Web site and his heart stopped racing.

Elena’s Romantic Treasures and Tidbits was a web site created by a beautiful young

woman in France named Elena who had a passion for artistic photos of handsome gay men.

Some of the photos were nudes; others were either partially or fully clothed. But they all had one

thing in common: a dramatic, imaginative flair that couldn’t be reproduced anywhere else.

Whether it was vintage or brand new, each photo was one of a kind. There were days when she

posted three or four new photos, and each one had a short, but inspiring, blog post to accompany

it. Sometimes she even posted reviews about gay books she’d read, with unusual book covers.

Though she was a straight woman, everything about the blog was oriented toward gay men and

the people who loved and appreciated exquisite photos of gay men. Luis had been following

Elena’s blog for two years, and he’d never been disappointed by anything she’d posted.

This particular morning, Elena had posted a photo of a handsome young man on a long

white leather lounge chair. His muscular arms were up over his head, there was a

straightforward—almost enticing—half grin on his face, and he was wearing only a loose pair of

gray boxer briefs that looked as though he’d been wearing them for a couple of days. He had a

rough goatee and serious furrowed eyebrows. But his dark brown eyes were wide and innocent,

as if he wasn’t sure why he was even posing this way. The briefs were bunched up between his

hairy legs and the tip of his thick penis was sticking out of the right leg opening. He wasn’t erect,

but the head of his penis was larger than most. Below the photo, there was a nice little post about

the model, explaining where the photo had been taken and some basic information about the

photographer.

Luis adjusted his body and read the post slowly so he wouldn’t get confused. French

Elena wrote all her blog posts in broken English that was just as endearing as her soothing

comments. Some sentences were difficult to understand; she had a tendency to use the English

words in the wrong places, throwing the sentence structure into a wild tailspin. But with each

comment she made, in spite of the way it was written—or perhaps because of it—the world

seemed like a much nicer place to be.

Luis didn’t visit Elena’s blog site just to see naked men. Actually, there was very little

about the site that aroused him sexually. He went there for the beauty and the truth, and to

admire the artistic qualities other Web sites about gay men couldn’t seem to capture. Even the

overall design of Elena’s site was different from others. Her banner was robin’s egg blue, the

color of a Tiffany’s shopping bag. There were tiny, ornate golden scrolls and Florentine patterns

surrounding the blue background that created a classic, sophisticated look. The name of the blog

was done in gold script, with large wispy letters that had soft round curls and wiry turns. The

understated elegance and simplicity combined with a formal, classic approach created a feeling

of hope and stability Luis couldn’t seem to find anywhere else in his life.

He read the blog post about the young man in the creased underwear three times without

looking up from his phone once. While he finished the pretzel and the water, he stared at the

photo until he knew every detail about the model and the setting. Sometimes Luis even left

comments on the blog thread, thanking Elena for writing a good post, and she always replied to

all her comments later in the day with a gracious note of thanks to each individual person.

But that morning he didn’t leave a comment. It was getting late. When he was finished

reading, he put the phone back into his pocket and yawned. Then he stood up, adjusted his jacket,

and started walking back to Riverside Drive. He had an appointment later that afternoon and he

wanted to go back to his apartment for a few hours’ sleep. It was almost seven in the morning. If

he went home now, he could get at least five hours’ sleep.

A few minutes later, he walked up to the front door of his building and searched his

pockets for his key. While he was looking for the key, he glanced across the street and noticed a

familiar man sitting in a dark car. Luis bit his lip and lowered his head, then he stepped to the

side so he could lean against the wall. He didn’t want the man in the car to see him going into the

building.

Luis lived in one of those older apartment buildings, where you could either enter

through the front door with a key or press the buzzer so someone inside the building could

unlock the door and let you in. He checked his jacket pockets first, then his pants pockets, but he

couldn’t find the damn key again. So he shrugged, rolled his eyes, and pressed the button below

his landlord’s name a few times.

The first few times he pressed the button nothing happened. After about twenty times, the

front door unlocked and Luis stepped into the vestibule. The building had six floors and no

elevator. He lived on the fifth floor, in a one-room studio with a small kitchenette and a postage

stamp of a balcony next to a fire escape where he kept a few herbs and flowers.

By the time Luis opened the front door, the man who had been sitting in the car was now

standing right behind him. “I’ve been trying to get you for days,” the man said, following Luis

into the building without being formally invited. “Where on Earth have you been?” He was a

portly man in his mid-seventies, with a receding hairline, thick stubby fingers, and a flat nose.

The top of his gray head met the bottom of Luis’s chest.

“I’m sorry, Barney,” Luis said, reaching for the banister. “I’ve been very busy.” His

voice was soft and pleasant and he smiled while he spoke, but these confrontations turned his

stomach into knots. “I’ve been meaning to call you.”

The man followed him up the stairs. “I’m not Barney,” he said. “I’m Alvin.”

While they climbed the stairs, Luis’s landlord leaned over the top-floor railing and

shouted, “Where’s your key? I was sleeping. I don’t get up before ten and you know that. I just

gave you a new key last week. What’s the matter with you?” He covered his ears with his palms.

“Too much noise.”

Luis looked up and shrugged. His landlord was an older man with a thick accent Luis

wasn’t sure about. It could have been German, or maybe Dutch. Luis had never been good with

accents. People were people and he hated giving them labels.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Gordon,” Luis said, pounding up the steps with little effort. “I must have

left it someplace insignificant again.” Insignificant was one of his new favorite words that week.

He tried to use it as much as he could. The week before it had been the word mundane. And he

had no idea what the next word would be.

“Well, you’d better find it,” the landlord said, making fists with both hands. “I need my

sleep. I have a routine and I don’t like it disturbed.” The louder he spoke, the thicker his accent

became.

Luis smiled and yanked off his black tie. Then he removed his white dinner jacket and

unbuttoned his white shirt right there in the hallway where both Mr. Gordon and Alvin could

watch him. He didn’t know much about the world, but he knew one thing for sure: the only way

to calm the old guys down was to start taking off his clothes. It never failed. He could get away

with anything if he showed some skin.

While Alvin blinked at Luis’s naked chest, Luis opened the door to his apartment and

slipped inside fast. He never locked his apartment. The front door to the building was always

locked and he figured locking his door was a waste of time. But he closed the door hard so Alvin

couldn’t follow him in, then clicked the lock while Alvin stood in the hall and started to yell at

him again.

“I thought you liked me,” Alvin said, banging on the door. “I’ve been paying for you and

all your friends for the last month. Dinner here, nightclubs there. I’ve spent a small fortune on

you and I’ve treated you very well. And this is how you treat me? I thought we had something

together…a future.”

Luis rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. This Alvin character certainly was a

persistent little fellow. All Luis wanted to do was go to bed and get a few hours of sleep. Was

this too much to ask?

So while Alvin stood outside his door ranting, Luis kicked off his shoes and stripped

down to his white boxer briefs. For the life of him, he’d never understand what these older guys

wanted. He’d made it clear to Alvin their relationship would never be anything more than

platonic, and he’d thought Alvin had agreed to his terms. And now here Alvin was, banging on

his door, expecting more than Luis could offer—or was willing to offer. The other thing Luis had

learned to watch out for with these older guys was their ability to steal energy. They could be

absolutely exhausting. Though they paid the bills, what they took in return couldn’t be

replenished. And Luis didn’t like handing out his energy to just anyone.

When Luis reached down to remove his black socks, there was a loud door slam from

above. It sounded as if Mr. Gordon was looking down from the top floor and shouting at Alvin.

“You get out of my building, you old fool, and leave this nice boy alone. Or I’m calling the

police right now.” Evidently, it didn’t occur to Mr. Gordon he was about the same age as Alvin.

Luis took a deep breath and exhaled. He knew Alvin had a wife and a family, and

wouldn’t want to get involved with the police. Luis wasn’t sure what Alvin did for a living, but

his family was involved in politics and he kept a very low profile.

Sure enough, right after Mr. Gordon said this, Alvin stopped shouting and banging on the

door. There was a moment of silence, then Luis heard Alvin walking back down the wooden

steps.

When Luis knew it was safe, he opened the door and stepped into the hall. When he

looked up, Mr. Gordon was still leaning over the banister, with a telephone in his hand and a

finger ready to speed-dial 911. Luis wasn’t wearing anything but white boxer briefs by then.

He’d just had his entire body waxed the day before and he’d been to an indoor tanning salon two

days before that. His delicate muscles were smooth and soft and bronze.

Mr. Gordon pointed at Luis and said, “I need my sleep. I’m going to get a dozen keys

made this afternoon and give them all to you.” His voice started out loud, but grew softer when

he realized Luis was in his underwear and bare feet.

Luis looked up at him and smiled. He stuck his thumbs into the elastic waistband of his

white boxer briefs and pulled the waistband down to the middle of his hips on purpose. He

stopped just before his penis and looked up at Mr. Gordon. He smiled, arched his back a little,

and said, “I’ll probably lose those keys, too. It’s no use, Mr. Gordon. I’m just not good with keys

and insignificant things like that.” He spread his legs wider and lowered the back of his

underwear so that half of his firm, round ass would be exposed. He smiled and said, “Please

don’t be upset with me, Mr. Gordon.” He knew Mr. Gordon well. The old guy had a loud bark,

but whenever he saw Luis in his underwear, or less, he started to purr.

“Are you upset with me, Mr. Gordon?” Luis asked in a soft, timid tone. Though he

wasn’t blond, he’d learned that even brunettes could also play the dumb-blonde routine and get

away with it when they were in their underwear.

Mr. Gordon leered at Luis’s almost naked body and pursed his lips. His eyes widened and

he had to adjust his eyeglasses to focus. “It’s just that you should be more careful with your

keys,” he said. “Nice young men like you have to be more aware these days. Why, anything

could happen and you wouldn’t be prepared to get into your own building without a key. I worry

about you sometimes.”

“Are you going to throw me out of the building now?” Luis asked, turning to the side and

lowering the back of his briefs all the way so Mr. Gordon could see his entire ass.

Mr. Gordon pressed his palm to his throat and ran his tongue across his bottom lip. “It’s

okay,” he said, waving his hand. “I was just in a bad mood this morning. You’re a good boy.”

Luis pulled up his briefs and spread his legs. He leaned back and grabbed his dick in a

casual, unconscious way. While Mr. Gordon watched him, he moved his dick to the left, then to

the right. “Thank you, Mr. Gordon,” he said, pouting. Then he blew Mr. Gordon a kiss and

walked back into his apartment so he could get some sleep.

Chapter Two

When Jase Nicholas pulled off the Henry Hudson Parkway, the rear wheels of his

extended cab pickup truck went up the curb and nearly clipped an older man walking a small dog.

The man jumped back just in time. He lifted his fist, waved it in the air, and shouted words Jase

wouldn’t have used in private, let alone on a public street.

Jase slowed down and lowered his window to apologize. He wasn’t used to driving such

a large truck, especially in the city. But when he looked back and smiled at the guy, the guy was

still cursing at him. So he nodded and waved, then shrugged his shoulders and continued driving.

A few blocks away, not far from Riverside Park, he pulled into a garage and put the car in

park. When he switched off the engine, he took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. At least he’d

arrived there safely, without demolishing anyone or anything. He’d never been the most secure

driver, and driving in Manhattan took more skill than he had.

Before he got out of the truck, he lowered the visor and looked into the vanity mirror. His

eyebrows rose and he ran his palm down the back of his head. His sandy hair had been lightened

with streaks of blond. His hair hadn’t been this short since high school. He’d always kept it long

and parted in the middle without taking too much time to care what it looked like. And he’d

always worn a full, heavy beard. For a second, Jase wondered who the clean-shaven, bleached-

blond stranger in the vanity mirror was. The image staring back at him looked more like thirty

than forty, and Jase wasn’t sure how he felt about this. In any event, the flamboyant hairstylist

had been right. This new short haircut with a neat little turned up wave at the top of his head had

taken years off him. And the blond streaks made him feel like a different person.

When he got out of the truck, he adjusted his black leather jacket and smoothed out his

new jeans. The jeans were tight, with a low-rise waist that hugged his slender hips, only they

kept riding up his legs and squeezing his balls. The black thong he was wearing beneath the jeans

kept riding up the crack of his ass. The thong had to go. He could get used to wearing low-rise

jeans. With time, he could learn to like the new short trendy haircut all the gay guys were

wearing. He could even learn to tolerate driving his pickup in Manhattan. But he’d never get

used to wearing the thong. If it came down to a choice, he’d rather not wear any underwear at all.

While he was leaning over and removing his suitcases from the back seat, the parking

garage attendant walked up to him and said, “You need any help, dude?”

Jase pulled two suitcases and a shoulder bag out of the back seat and turned. The parking

garage attendant was a lanky guy in his mid-twenties, with a shaved head and a patch of dark

fuzz on the bottom of his chin. There were diamond studs in both his ears and his jeans were so

baggy they fell below his waist and exposed the waistband of his printed boxer shorts.

Jase smiled. “I’m fine, thank you.”

The parking attendant looked him up and down. “Yes, you are,” he said, with one

eyebrow raised and a half smile. When he moved his right arm, a tattoo of a cross on his large

bicep jiggled up and down.

Jase blinked and leaned forward. “Pardon me,” he said.

“I like your jeans,” the attendant said. “They’re hot.” His voice was deep and soft. He had

a slight accent, not too obvious.

“Ah well,” Jase said, adjusting his shoulder bag, “the keys are in the truck. I’m not sure

when I’ll be back.” He knew the guy was coming on to him, but he wasn’t sure how to react. For

a moment, he missed his long shaggy hair, his untrimmed overgrown beard, and his loose,

rumpled chinos.

The parking attendant pursed his lips and stared between Jase’s legs. “Don’t worry about

anything,” he said. “I’ll take good care of you.”

“Ah well, thanks,” Jase said, turning to leave. He wanted to get out of there and away

from this guy as fast as he could.

“If you ever need anything,” the guy said, “just let me know.”

Jase lifted his arm without turning around, and waved. “I’ll do that,” he said.

When he was on the street and away from the garage entrance, he closed his eyes and

exhaled. He had a feeling the parking attendant had been staring at his back the entire time.

Though he was flattered that such a young man would be interested in him, he was slightly

annoyed at the way the guy had leered at him. If this was any indication of what his life was

going to be like now that he was living in Manhattan, he wasn’t sure how long he’d last there.

* * * *

By the time he reached the font steps of his new apartment building, it was nearly noon.

The sun was shining on his shoulders and the black leather jacket he was wearing felt heavy and

confining. He looked up at the building and stared at the tall front door, then forced his hand into

his front pocket and pulled out a key.

But when he inserted the key into the lock, it wouldn’t turn. He jiggled it up and down

and back and forth and nothing happened. It had been years since he’d been to one of these small

apartment buildings that didn’t have doormen. He hesitated for a moment, then pushed a white

button below the center mailbox a few times and waited. A moment later, the front door

unlocked and he crossed into the vestibule and stared at the steps with his tongue pressed to his

cheek. His apartment was on the fifth floor. He hadn’t actually thought about walking up and

down five flights when he’d rented the place.

Hhe was halfway up the fifth-floor staircase when it occurred to him it wasn’t as bad as

he’d thought it would be. He was slightly out of breath, but in a strange way he felt exhilarated

and refreshed at the same time. All those years of obsessive biking, running, and swimming had

paid off. All the physical risks he’d taken with his sailboat and all the times he’d done what

everyone told him he couldn’t do had been worthwhile after all. When he reached the last step on

the fifth floor and looked up, he knew he’d made the right decision to move into this particular

building.

There was a young man with dark brown hair standing in a partially open doorway. He

had a purple sleeping mask pushed up on is forehead, his eyes were still heavy with sleep, and

he’d just finished yawning. His lips were full and round and his delicate features were a rare

combination of soft curves and sharp points. For a moment, Jase just stood there on the top step,

staring at the young man’s face. Through all five flights, Jase’s heartbeat had remained steady.

But now, for some reason, it was ready to jump out of his chest.

He smiled. “I’m sorry I disturbed you. I guess they sent me the wrong key. I couldn’t use

it in the front door. It’s probably for the apartment door.” He placed his suitcase on the landing

and pulled the key out of his pocket to prove he was telling the truth. “I’m renting the apartment

next door to you.”

The young guy rubbed his eyes and yawned again. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, in a

soft, even voice. “I’ve had a few key problems myself.” Then he smiled and looked Jase up and

down with a blank expression.

Jase lifted his suitcase and crossed to the guy’s door. “I’m sorry to bother you again,” he

said. “But I need to use the phone.” He pulled a cell phone out of his back pocket and held it up.

The bottom half of his flip-top phone was dangling from the top half. He’d accidentally stepped

on it earlier that morning trying to pump gas. Until this week, it had been years since he’d

pumped his own gas. “I broke mine this morning and I haven’t had a chance to get a new one yet.

I’m Jase Nicholas.” He was sorry he’d mentioned his last name. He wasn’t sure whether or not

this guy would recognize it.

The guy remained expressionless. When he heard Jase’s last name, he didn’t so much as

lift an eyebrow. “I’m Luis Fortune,” he said, then slowly opened the door and stepped to the side

so Jase could enter.

Jase couldn’t overlook what this guy was wearing: just a white formal dress shirt. The

tails of the shirt stopped at the top of his silky smooth thighs, and the top of the shirt was wide

open, exposing his round, compact chest muscles.

When Jase stepped inside, he looked around and rubbed his jaw. “I guess you’re new

here, too,” he said. There were unopened boxes haphazardly strewn across the floor, a pile of

shoes near the kitchen door, and another pile of clothes beside the bedroom door. There wasn’t

much furniture. A small French loveseat with gilded trim and zebra print material and two flashy

mirrored side tables were in the middle of the living room. On a small French desk near the

window, there was a small flat-screen television and a laptop computer.

“I’ve been here about a year,” Luis said, closing the door.

“I see,” Jase said. He watched him close the door. When his arm went up to push the door

shut, the back of his shirt rose and exposed the bottom part of his ass. Jase swallowed back hard

and cleared his throat, trying to control the bulge in his low-rise jeans from getting bigger than it

already was.

Luis yawned again and walked to the middle of the living room. He put his hands on his

hips and looked back and forth a few times. “I know I left the phone somewhere in here. I was

using it this morning in the park.”

Then he moved closer to the loveseat and said, “I remember now.” He lifted the zebra

cushion and reached for the iPhone. When he bent down, the shirt rose up and exposed most of

his ass. “I put it under the cushion so it wouldn’t wake me up.”

“Why didn’t you just turn it off?” Jase asked, standing there with his hands in his pockets

and furrowed eyebrows, trying hard not to stare at Luis’s naked legs.

Luis handed Jase the phone and waved his arm. “I’m not sure how to turn it off. The last

time I did, I couldn’t get it back on again. I’m not very good with insignificant things like phones

and computers. I only know enough to use them to do what I need them to do for me.”

Jase took the phone and stepped forward. He moved his left leg first and heard a weak

growl. When he looked down at the floor, the most unusual-looking animal he’d ever seen was

staring up at him. He assumed it was a small dog; it couldn’t have been a cat. It was completely

bald, except for long shocks of shaggy blond hair on its head and a few sprigs of shaggy blond

hair above its paws. The trembling animal was looking up at Jase, but Jase wasn’t sure if it was

growling or purring.

“I’m sorry,” Jase said, tilting his head to the side. “I didn’t mean to frighten her.”

Luis smiled and reached down so he could scoop the animal up in his arms. Then he

kissed the top of its head. “He’s a Chinese Crested. I saw him in a back alley one night and he

followed me home. Poor little dog doesn’t have a name. I didn’t want a pet, but he didn’t give

me much of a choice. I couldn’t just leave him out in the cold.” He carried the dog into the

kitchenette and poured some dry dog food into a small lavender bowl. When he put the bowl on

the floor so the dog could eat, he looked up at Jase and smiled. He shrugged and said, “It didn’t

feel right naming him. I don’t want to be attached to anything or anyone until I find out where

I’m going and what I’m doing in life. I’m not sure what that is yet, but I know how it feels. It

feels like Elena’s Romantic Treasures and Tidbits.”

“Is that a restaurant?”

Luis laughed. “No, it’s not a restaurant. It’s a place where I go when I’m feeling alone

and impatient and homesick all at the same time.”

“Like when you’re depressed and anxious,” Jase said. He knew that feeling well. A

month after his fortieth birthday he woke up in the middle of the night absolutely terrified for no

reason at all. It was as if his entire life had hit him smack in the face. Suddenly, the fact that he

wasn’t going to live forever became a reality he’d never faced before. And when it occurred to

him that he was halfway through his life and he’d never been completely honest with himself, his

heart started to race so fast he almost called the paramedics.

“It’s not like depression,” Luis said. “When you’re depressed you just eat as much

chocolate as you can and watch old movies that make you cry. This feeling is more like being

terrified of something that isn’t there. You’re scared, but you’re not sure why and you don’t

know if the feeling will ever go away. Don’t you ever feel that way?”

Jase smiled. “Yes, I do,” he said. He’d felt that way so many times since the night he’d

realized he was middle aged, and he’d decided to cut his hair, buy tight low-rise jeans, and move

to a fifth-floor walkup on the Upper West Side to find out who he was.

“When I feel that way,” Luis said, crossing back to the kitchen, “I go to Elena’s

Romantic Treasures and Tidbits. It’s a blog on the Internet, written by this wonderful woman in

France who loves everything about gay men. It’s a magical place, no kidding. When I’m there,

nothing bad can happen, and all those horrible feelings go away.”

While Jase stood there holding the iPhone, Luis poured himself a tall glass of orange

juice and walked over to the French loveseat. When he sat down, the back of his white shirt rode

up and exposed half of his naked ass. Jase rubbed his chin and looked away. His jeans were

beginning to tighten and he didn’t want Luis to think he was one of those aggressive older men

who were always chasing after young guys.

“If I could just find something in my own life that makes me feel the same way I feel

when I’m reading Elena’s blog, I’d give that little dog a name, set up house, and have a real life,”

Luis said. He took a sip of juice and pointed to the phone in Jase’s hand. “Didn’t you have to

make a phone call? I’m sorry. I’m talking too much. People tell me I tend to ramble on about

nothing.”

Jase smiled. “I do have to make a call. I just drove up here from Palm Beach and I

promised someone I’d call Friday afternoon. I think this is Friday. I’ve been driving so much I

lost track.”

“Oh no, I did it again,” Luis shouted, and jumped up from the loveseat. He pressed his

palm to his chest with one hand and pulled the sleep mask off his head with the other. “This is

Friday. I have an important appointment every Friday.” He ran into the bedroom and pushed the

bathroom door open so hard it banged into the wall.

Jase started to dial the phone, but he stopped because the guy was still talking. He’d

never met anyone who could talk so much without stopping for a break.

“I hate Friday,” Luis said. He was in the bathroom and Jase couldn’t see him.

Jase stood up and went into the bedroom. “Why do you hate Friday?”

“Friday always hits me in the face without warning,” Luis said. “One day it’s Monday,

and the next thing I know it feels like a week with four Thursdays.”

Jase put the phone down on a table and stood there with his hands in his pockets. He

didn’t want to intrude, but he couldn’t leave either. Though they weren’t talking about anything

important, this was one of the most interesting conversations he’d ever had. “A week with four

Thursdays?”

“There’s an old French cliché: in a week with four Thursdays,” Luis said, still shouting

from the bathroom. “It means the same thing as ‘when hell freezes over.’ I read it once on

Elena’s blog. And for me, after Monday, every day feels like a Thursday. Then, before you know

it, Friday comes around and it’s time for the weekend.”

Jase rubbed his jaw. “I guess that makes sense.” It really didn’t. But he was enjoying

himself too much with this adorable, funny young man to point this out.

“Would you be a sweetheart and look in the closet for a pair of brown Prada shoes?” Luis

said. “I have to pull myself together fast. I look awful. And Derrick just hates it when I’m not on

time for these showings.”

Jase hesitated for a moment. Luis didn’t seem apprehensive about giving a total stranger

permission to look inside his closet. Then he shrugged, opened the closet door, and looked down.

There must have been more than a hundred pairs of shoes lining the bottom of the closet. And

most of them were either black or brown. He wasn’t sure what Prada shoes looked like, so he

grabbed a pair of brown loafers with square, flat toes and placed them on a bench at the foot of

the bed.

When Luis came out of the bathroom, still wearing the white dress shirt, he looked down

at the shoes and frowned. “Not those, silly. I would never wear them to a real estate showing.”

He went to the closet, pulled out some clothes, and reached down for another pair of shoes that

didn’t look much different from the pair Jase had chosen.

But Luis didn’t get dressed in front of Jase. He went back into the bathroom and closed

the door. And he didn’t stop talking. While he dressed, he told Jase he was meeting a guy named

Derrick, an older guy who worked in real estate he met every Friday afternoon. He said they

looked at real estate listings, and Derrick took him out for a late lunch afterwards. He also made

it clear this wasn’t a date; just two friends getting together.

While Luis rambled, Jase sat down on the edge of the unmade twin bed and looked

around. Though the bedroom had more furniture than the living room, it was just as messy and

just as disorganized. But it wasn’t dirty. The white sheets on the bed were spotless, the wooden

floors were shining, and the tops of the tables didn’t have a speck of dust. There was a faint

smell of something spicy. In a hidden nook not far from the windowsill, Jase noticed a small

light. He stood up and walked to the window. On a round pedestal table, he found a scented

candle burning in a round crystal dish. He lifted one eyebrow and blew out the candle,

wondering if Luis would have blown it out before he left for his appointment with this older guy

named Derrick. Something like this could burn down the entire building.

But when the bathroom door opened and Luis stood there fully dressed, Jase forgot all

about the burning candle. His lips parted and his hands fell to his sides. He’d never witnessed

such a dramatic transformation.

“Do I look okay?” Luis asked. He leaned against the door frame and smiled. Every single

hair was in place, his face was smooth and shaved, and his eyes were shining.

“You look great,” Jase said. Luis was wearing a cream-colored suit and brown shoes. His

shirt was pale blue and he wasn’t wearing a tie. Jase had never seen a more attractive man. And

he’d never seen anyone get dressed so fast and wind up looking so good.

Luis hurried into the bedroom and said, “I just need one more thing.” Then he pulled a

pair of white athletic socks out of the dirty clothes hamper, shoved them into a brown leather

briefcase, and walked back into the living room.

Jase followed him. “What are the socks for?”

Luis put his phone in his pocket and kissed the little dog goodbye. “I won’t

get my five hundred dollars this afternoon if I don’t give Derrick my used socks. Would you

please be a dear and walk the little doggie in an hour? I always leave the door unlocked. His

leash is somewhere in the kitchen. I’d do it myself, but I’m already late. I’ll return the favor to

you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jase said. “I don’t mind walking him.” He didn’t have anything

better to do that afternoon anyway.

When they were out in the hall, on their way downstairs to the front door, Jase rubbed his

jaw and asked, “Why would anyone pay you five hundred dollars for a pair of dirty white

socks?”

Luis laughed and opened the front door. “They aren’t just any old white socks,” he said.

“I have to wear them for a day before I give them to Derrick. He loves the fact that I’ve worn

them.” He shrugged and walked to the curb. “Derrick is into my used sweat socks. I don’t ask

questions. I just make him happy, is all.”

“He’s into your used sweat socks?”

“It’s all perfectly harmless,” Luis said. “And there’s absolutely no sex between us. He

just likes being with me and he only loves my dirty socks. Go figure.”

Jase ran into the street to hail a taxi for Luis. For some reason, perhaps because Luis

seemed so helpless, it felt normal taking control and doing things like this for him.

After three cabs passed, Luis finally walked into the street himself. He stepped off the

curb, lifted his right arm, and the first cab driver coming down the street stopped for him.

But when Jase reached down to open the back door for Luis, a tall young man with

reddish brown hair and freckles got out of the cab and put his arms around Jase’s shoulders.

“I’m so glad you finally arrived,” the young man said. He kissed Jase on the cheek and

rubbed the back of Jase’s neck.

Jase’s face felt flushed and he didn’t know where to put his hands. The guy hugging him

was the same guy who had arranged everything for his move to New York. He did interior

design work in both New York and Palm Beach. His name was Sherman Liss, and Jase had met

him at a party in Palm Beach a year earlier. Though Sherman loved to flirt with Jase, and he was

always trying to get into Jase’s pants, their relationship had never gone beyond the platonic stage.

Jase had never been with a man in his life, and Sherman wasn’t going to be his first. It would

have been too cliché, not to mention the fact that it would probably have ruined their friendship.

While Sherman’s back was to Luis, Luis smiled and tapped Jase’s arm. “Do you mind if I

take this taxi? I’m late and I don’t want Derrick to get all upset. He likes his routine.”

Sherman ignored Luis. He ran his palm across Jase’s cheek and said, “You look

wonderful. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you. How on Earth did you get inside without the key

to the front door? When I realized I hadn’t given it to you, I rushed over here as fast as I could.”

Jase stepped back and gestured to Luis. “Mr. Fortune was nice enough to let me into the

building,” he said. Then he gestured to Sherman and said, “Luis Fortune, this is Sherman Liss,

my decorator.” When he said the word “decorator,” his voice stumbled and it sounded

disconnected.

Luis shook Sherman’s hand fast and turned away from them. “It’s nice meeting you, but I

have to run.” He told the cab driver where he was going, then turned back and said, “You won’t

forget about the doggie, will you?”

Jase smiled and nodded. “I won’t forget.”

As the taxi drove away and Sherman started talking about all the ideas he had for Jase’s

new apartment, Jase pressed his lips together and took a quick breath. He didn’t care about

decorating his apartment. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to be there. He’d only dropped

out of his real-life temporarily, to find out who he was and what he wanted. And the only image

on his mind at that moment was of Luis Fortune standing in the bathroom doorway, wearing the

cream-colored suit and a huge smile.

Chapter Three

After Luis spent the entire Friday afternoon looking at real estate with his older friend,

Derrick, they went for a late lunch at a small gay restaurant/bar in Hell’s Kitchen. Luis smiled

and lowered his eyelids all afternoon. He ordered a small salad and didn’t bother to finish it.

Eating that late in the afternoon killed his appetite for dinner, and talking about real estate for

more than five minutes made him yawn. But he pretended to be impressed with Derrick’s latest

real estate listings without saying more than a few sentences each time he spoke. He kept his

voice low and breathy, allowing Derrick to control their conversation. He’d learned early that

wealthy, powerful men like Derrick had huge egos that needed constant stroking. Though

Derrick wasn’t married, most of these men were married and had families. Their wives had

grown bored and had stopped listening to them ramble years earlier—Luis knew why. So the

more he stroked Derrick’s ego, the more Derrick compensated him for his time.

All this had nothing to do with sex. Luis always made it clear he wasn’t a rent boy and he

wasn’t interested in sexual relationships with these men. He’d go out with them, he’d flirt and

wear provocative clothing, and sometimes he’d even give them a little tease by allowing them to

see him in his underwear—sometimes less. But he drew the line when it came to physical

relations. If there was a kiss, it was always on the cheek. If there was naughty talk, it was

whimsical and discreet. The men Luis catered to paid him for his time, his good looks, and his

personality. Not his body. This was, in Luis’s opinion, the difference between an actual hooker

and a professional escort looking for a rich husband.

The men he escorted didn’t seem to mind these restrictions. Most were more than seventy

years old and they were past having sex. Some didn’t even have prostates anymore. One sweet

gentleman used a walker; almost all of them had handicapped parking stickers. They were more

interested in being seen with an attractive young man, sharing his company, and being able to

impress other people with their toy boy. For most, there were few people left they could actually

impress, and Luis filled the void in their lives by pretending to be genuinely interested in what

they had to say. And the fact that he was extremely attractive and knew exactly what to say made

him even more desirable. If there were any unusual kinks or quirks involved, like selling his used

sweat socks or used underwear, they were as harmless as going to church on Easter Sunday.

However, every now and then Luis made an error in judgment and he had to ditch one of

the older guys. Though he’d explain his no-sex rule up front with clarity, there were always a

few overly aggressive older guys who didn’t pay attention. That’s what happened this Friday

night after his lunch with Derrick.

After a predictable afternoon, Derrick drove Luis back to the front of his building and

dropped him off at the curb. Luis handed Derrick his used sweat socks, kissed Derrick on the

cheek, and said he’d see him the following Friday. Derrick pulled five one-hundred dollar bills

from his pocket and handed them to Luis, then waited at the curb until Luis was safely inside the

building. He didn’t pull away until the front door was halfway open and Luis waved goodbye

from the vestibule. Luis had made a conscious effort to remember the key to the front door that

day so he wouldn’t bother Mr. Gordon.

After that, Luis fed the little dog, took him for a fast walk, and took a nap. When he woke

up, he put on a white shirt and a black suit and went out to meet one of his newest clients at a

small restaurant in The Village, a man named Peter Donovan. Peter was over eighty and it was

only the second time they’d met. The first time they’d met it was just for cocktails so Luis could

check him out. Peter was a retired attorney who had lost his longtime life partner two years

earlier.

At first, things went well. They had a nice quiet dinner and Luis listened to the old guy

talk about his late partner. It made Luis smile to think about two men lasting together for over

fifty years. The gay couples in Luis’s circle never lasted longer than a few months. The old guy

spoke about his late partner with a gleam in his eye. At one point, Luis actually stopped eating,

leaned forward on his elbows, and rested his chin in his palm to listen.

After dinner, they went to a private party in Chelsea. They arrived at eleven o’clock and

the party seemed tame in the beginning. But by two in the morning, the younger guys at the party

started removing their clothes while the older guys sat on the sidelines watching them. The older

guys were drunk. They hooted and howled, begging the younger guys to strip to nothing. They

threw dollar bills on the floor and licked their lips when the young naked guys bent down to pick

the bills up. That was when Peter Donovan tried to put his hand down the back of Luis’s pants.

He patted Luis’s ass and asked Luis to remove all of his clothes, too.

Luis stepped back and smiled. He didn’t want to make a scene. He told Peter he wanted

to go home. He said he was tired and he’d had a long day. When Peter tried to change the subject

and talk him into removing his clothes by offering him more money, Luis insisted it was time to

leave the party. And when Luis finally threatened to leave alone, Peter followed him out the door

and down to the street.

Peter’s driver brought Luis back to his apartment, and Peter mentioned nothing about

what had happened. He didn’t make any sexual innuendos and he remained the perfect

gentleman. For a moment, Luis thought everything was back to normal. But when they pulled up

to the front of his building and parked, Peter reached over, put his hand between Luis’s legs, and

tried to kiss him on the lips.

While his tongue was hanging from his mouth, Luis pushed him back and jumped out of

the car. It was a good thing Luis had remembered to bring his front door key that night. If he’d

had to wait for his landlord to let him into the building, there was no telling what would have

happened. Still, even though Luis opened the door fast, Peter was right behind him. He followed

Luis into the vestibule, begging Luis to spend the night with him. He followed him up five

flights of stairs, complimenting Luis on having the greatest body he’d ever seen.

By the time Luis reached his floor, good old Peter was at the top step gaining speed. Luis

made it inside just in time. When he slammed the door shut, he left Peter out in the hall banging

with both fists, begging Luis to let him inside. He pleaded and promised Luis he wouldn’t regret

it. He told Luis he had a reputation around town for giving the best blow jobs in New York. He

said all Luis had to do was stand there, pull down his zipper, and close his eyes.

Luis leaned into the door and exhaled. He was out of breath from running up the stairs

and he was only twenty-one years old. When he thought about the energy it must have taken for

a man over eighty to run up those stairs after him, he rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

Peter continued to bang on his door, begging him to open it and let him inside. Then Mr.

Gordon, the landlord, opened his apartment door on the floor above them to see what was

happening. “I’m trying to sleep,” Mr. Gordon said, with his broken accent. “If you don’t get out

of here now I’m calling the police. You leave that nice boy alone, you old fool.”

Luis felt a little shaky by then. He didn’t like confrontation of any kind, especially when

his intentions had been good. He didn’t wait around to hear how it ended with the old guy and

Mr. Gordon. He crossed into his bedroom, removed all his clothes, and put on a short white

bathrobe. After that, he picked up his little dog and climbed out onto the fire escape.

He placed the little dog inside a wide potted palm tree. The dog peed on the trunk, then

Luis carried him across the fire escape to his new neighbor’s bedroom window. There was

something about Jase that made him feel safe; he was hoping Jase would be awake to talk. At the

very least, Jase might let him stay there until the excitement in his own apartment subsided.

There were sheer white draperies in the bedroom widow. They were partially open and

Luis could see inside Jase’s bedroom. Jase was in his bed sleeping, flat on his back and naked

from the waist up. Luis didn’t want to wake him, but he didn’t want to sit on the fire escape all

night either. As he was about to knock on the window, he saw a shadow over Jase’s bed. Luis

jerked to the right fast so he wouldn’t be seen. The redheaded guy Luis had met getting out of the

taxi earlier that day walked into the bedroom and stood over Jase’s bed. Luis had already

forgotten the guy’s name; he was insignificant. Not bad looking if you went for that red hair and

pink freckled skin. But definitely not Luis’s type. Luis pressed his lips together and watched

what was happening. When the redheaded guy leaned over the bed and kissed Jase on the cheek,

Jase rolled over on his side and adjusted his covers without opening his eyes.

Then the redheaded guy patted Jase on the shoulder, placed some cash on the nightstand,

and left the bedroom. From where Luis was watching, he could see the redheaded guy open the

front door and leave the apartment. Luis waited a few minutes. When he knew it was safe, he

knocked on Jase’s bedroom window and pulled it up.

The noise from the window caused Jase to sit up in bed. He yawned and rubbed his eyes.

When he saw Luis peeking through the sheer white curtains, he looked around the room with

furrowed eyebrows. Then he lifted his arm and said, “Hold on, ah…” He kept looking back and

forth, as if he were terrified the redheaded guy would see Luis sneaking into his bedroom. He’d

been startled enough to forget Luis’s name.

Luis smiled and said, “Luis Fortune. Don’t worry. He’s gone. I saw him leave.”

Jase took a deep breath and sat up in bed. He adjusted the pillows, pulled the covers up

above his waist, and said, “This is a little peculiar.”

“Don’t worry,” Luis said. “I waited until your friend left. He keeps very long hours for an

interior designer. But that’s none of my business.” He lifted his dog up and smiled. “I have this

little problem. There’s this guy downstairs and he refuses to leave. I told him we were just

friends, and he seems to want more than friendship, if you know what I mean. And he’s a

persistent old boy, too. Chased me up five flights of steps and now he’s trying to break the door

down.”

While Jase rubbed his jaw, a loud crash came from Luis’s apartment. It sounded as if the

door had been knocked down and something made out of glass had shattered. So Luis put his

legs through the open window and stepped into Jase’s bedroom without being invited. He put the

dog down and adjusted his bathrobe. It was so short that when he’d climbed through the window,

the back had ridden up and exposed half of his ass.

“If you want us to leave,” Luis said, “we will. But there’s no telling what the old guy

might do, so we’ll just have to wait out on the fire escape until he’s gone. And it’s so cold out

there.” He tightened the bathrobe and pulled on the hem. If it had been just one inch shorter, his

genitals would have been showing. “I told him we were just friends and nothing more. But he

had a few too many gins tonight and he’s become impossible. He told me he’s known all over

town for giving the best blow jobs in New York. Only I’m not interested in that sort of thing. I’d

rather have the worst blow job in New York from someone else than the best one from him.”

Jase sat up in bed and frowned. “Well, if this guy is known all over town for giving the

best blow jobs, I’ve never heard of him.” He adjusted the pillows to get comfortable, then

shrugged his shoulders and asked, “Did you see any interesting real estate listings this afternoon

with your other friend?”

Jase’s deep voice and reassuring tone made Luis smile. Though Jase wasn’t smiling and

his eyes were still heavy with sleep, he silently welcomed Luis into his home and he didn’t have

to do that.

Luis shrugged back. “When you’ve seen one empty New York apartment, you’ve seen

them all, trust me. I’ve seen them all.” His voice trailed off at the end of the sentence with an

exhausted sigh.

Jase watched as the little dog jumped up on the bed and curled up near his feet. He

pointed to the dog and said, “I guess he’s not going to lose any sleep tonight.”

“He seems to like you,” Luis said. “He doesn’t like everyone at first. He’s usually

standoffish.” Luis hadn’t used the word standoffish for a while. But it was one of his favorites.

There was something about the sound and the way the word rolled off his tongue that made him

smile.

The dog lifted his head, gave Jase a look, and yawned.

Jase laced his fingers together on his lap and gave the dog a sarcastic smile. “By all

means, make yourself at home, buddy.”

Luis sat down on a long white lounge chair. It was one of those ornate affairs with gold

trim and carved legs that resembled swans. The entire room seemed to be designed with a swan

theme. When he stretched out, he let the bathrobe fall off his right leg on purpose to see if Jase

would react. Though his genitals remained covered, it was evident he wasn’t wearing anything

beneath the robe.

“You’re a nice guy,” Luis said. “You remind me of my favorite uncle back home.

Actually, he’s my only uncle. He’s the only family I have left now.”

Jase frowned and tipped his head to the side. “Uncle? How old do you think I am?”

“Ah well,” Luis said. “I didn’t mean it that way. You’re not old by any means. Trust me,

I know old men. Actually, you’re one of those guys who always seem ageless. Do you know

what I mean?”

Jase shrugged, spread his arms wide, and shook his head back and forth.

“Some men never seem to age,” Luis clarified. “When they reach thirty, they stay that

way until they become old men.”

Jase smiled. “Well, thank you. I think.”

Luis looked around the bedroom. The interior design wasn’t finished yet, but what had

been done looked expensive and carefully planned. Though the stuffy neutral colors weren’t his

personal taste, he liked the mix of modern and classic. And the swans were interesting. There

were swan prints over the bed, swan carvings in the furniture, and a large porcelain swan on the

fireplace mantel. Luis was curious about the redheaded guy, too. He wondered if Jase was one of

those high-priced rent boys he’d been hearing about since he’d moved to New York.

So he leaned forward and lifted a small velvet box from a table beside the lounge chair.

He looked it over and said, “Is your designer a top or a bottom? He looked like a bottom to me,

but you never can tell these things from a glance.” Then he pointed to the money on Jase’s

nightstand and said. “Either way, I’m sure you’re good at what you do. That looks like a lot of

money.”

“Hold on,” Jase said, sitting up higher. He clenched the edge of the top sheet hard. “If

you’re insinuating that I’m sleeping with my designer for money, it might be time for you to

leave.” He pointed to the window. “You can go out the same way you came in.”

Luis jumped up from the lounge chair and rushed to the bed. He kneeled next to Jase and

said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything. Don’t get mad at me. I’ve had enough people get mad at

me for one night. I don’t think I could handle anymore. I was just trying to see if you two are

together. I didn’t think you were, but I was curious. He seems very devoted to you.”

“He’s just a good friend,” Jase said. “He’s helped me with my move to New York, and

he’s been there for me through some rough times, is all.” He folded his arms across his chest and

frowned without offering a viable explanation about the cash on his nightstand.

“You don’t have to explain to me,” Luis said. “It’s none of my business. I shouldn’t have

asked. Please don’t be mad. I don’t want to go back to my apartment yet, and we’re just

becoming good friends. Let’s not start off on the wrong foot. I like you so much.”

“Hand me my bathrobe,” Jase said. It sounded more like an impatient grumble than a

request. “I’ll make a couple of drinks.”

Luis stood up and tightened his robe. “Absolutely not,” he said. “You stay right where

you are and I’ll make you a drink. I’ll pass, though. I’m not much of a drinker myself. But

you’ve been driving for days and you should be sleeping right now.” And, Luis thought, if he’d

just had sex with the redheaded guy, he must really be tired. But he didn’t mention this aloud.

Luis walked to a desk where there was an expensive-looking decanter of scotch on a

silver tray with several crystal cocktail glasses. When he lifted the decanter, he looked it over

and asked, “Baccarat?”

Jase nodded. “Yes. It was a gift.” But he didn’t say who had given it to him.

Luis poured the drink and said, “No doubt from your designer friend.” One of the perks

about spending so much time with wealthy older men was that Luis learned a lot about the finer

things in life. He could spot Baccarat Crystal at a glance; he could tell an authentic ivory carving

from a bone carving just by touching it with his fingertips.

Jase smiled. “Yes, actually. He’s very generous.”

Luis walked back to the bed and handed Jase the drink. “You probably think I’m just

another dumb little bar queen looking for a meal ticket. I’m probably as transparent to you as the

sheer draperies on your windows.”

“Not really,” Jase said. “I like to get to know people better before I form an opinion.”

“Seriously,” Luis said. “I know what people think of me. And I don’t care. At least I’m

honest with everyone, including myself.” He sighed and walked to the window. “If you don’t

mind me asking, what do you do?”

“I’m an inventor,” Jase said.

“I don’t think I’ve ever known any inventors,” Luis said. “I once dated an older patent

attorney who was in his nineties, bless him, but I don’t think he ever invented anything himself.

But he did have a client who invented one of those kitchen gadgets that chop and dice things.”

Then he faced Jase again and asked. “What have you invented?”

“Oh, little things,” Jase said. His face tightened and he had trouble looking Luis in the

eye. “Right now I’m working on a cheese smoker, so people can smoke their own homemade

cheese.” He pointed to a large box near a desk and nodded.

Luis went to the box and looked inside. He pulled out a few blocks of hickory and stared

at them in his palm. “It’s just a box of wood blocks,” he said.

Jase shrugged his shoulders. “I’m still working on it. Inventing things takes a lot of time

and patience. The final product has to be perfect before you can start selling it.”

“But a cheese smoker?” Luis asked, making a face. “Do people really need something

like that?”

“Hey,” Jase said, squaring his shoulders, “don’t knock it. The guy who invented the

toothpick made millions. I happen to know for a fact that many people have invented many small

things everyone takes for granted and they’ve made millions of dollars.”

Luis smiled politely and put the blocks of wood back into the empty box. He didn’t want

to press Jase for any more information. From what he could see, Jase’s position wasn’t that much

different from his own. Only Jase, at the very least, had a dream to keep him going, and if he

never completed one single invention, at least he could keep trying. Luis didn’t have that kind of

hope in his life, because he didn’t have a specific dream for the future. He knew he wanted

security and dependability; he just wasn’t sure how to get it.

“You have a point,” Luis said, with a hint of sadness in his voice. He turned and walked

to the other end of the room and looked into a large gilded mirror with and ornate frame that had

curls and turns. There was a large gold swan carved at the base. It reminded him of the scroll

work on Elena’s blog.

When Luis reached to touch the swan’s delicate head, Jase leaned forward on the bed and

said, “I’ve been wondering about something. I can’t get it out of my head. Do you really get five

hundred dollars for giving that old guy your dirty sweat socks?”

“Indeed.”

“Can a person actually make a living that way?”

“Ah well,” Luis said, “I do okay. But I can never seem to save anything. No matter how

much money I make, there’s never more than a hundred dollars in my bank account.”

Luis could see Jase’s reflection in the mirror. He smiled and said, “You look so much like

my uncle. I haven’t seen him since I moved to New York. He’s gay, too. He’s been HIV positive

for years, he doesn’t have health insurance, and he only takes his meds when he can afford them.

He should be taking them all the time, but they cost thousands of dollars a month. Without

insurance, there’s no way the average person can afford HIV medicine. He works as a handyman

and supports himself. He’s too proud to take any assistance from anyone and I’ve never heard

him complain once about his situation. I send him money all the time, but most of the time he

either sends the money back, or he refuses to cash my checks. I hope one day I can bring him

here and make sure he has his meds all the time.”

“It must be difficult for him,” Jase said. “He sounds like a good man.”

Luis nodded. He put his hand into his pockets and stared at the floor. “I just wish I could

do more.”

Then Luis turned and walked back to the bed. On the way, he looked at a small clock and

pressed his palm to his throat. “I can’t believe it’s almost five in the morning. We’ve been

talking forever.” He looked at the window, then down at his dog. The dog’s eyes were shut tight

and his hairless, freckled body was moving up and down. “Can I get into bed with you?” Luis

asked. “I don’t want to go back there alone tonight. This isn’t about sex. I’m not trying to get

into your pants. I just want to sleep. We’re friends, right? You don’t want anything more from

me, right?”

Jase smiled and pulled back the covers. “We’re just friends,” he said.

Luis didn’t remove his bathrobe. When he climbed into bed with Jase, Jase extended his

arm and Luis snuggled up against his chest. Jase put his arms around him and pulled him closer.

Then Jase pulled up the blanket and top sheet to be sure Luis’s shoulders were covered.

“There’s nothing wrong with this, is there?” Luis asked, closing his eyes. “We’re just two

good friends sleeping together. No harm done.”

Jase smiled and kissed the top of his head. “There’s nothing wrong,” he said. “We’re just

good friends. Get some rest now.”

When Jase kissed the top of his head, Luis snuggled up closer and placed his palm in the

middle of Jase’s chest. His body was strong and warm, and his sheets smelled like the ocean on a

nice summer day. “I knew you were a wonderful man the minute I saw you this afternoon.

There’s something so safe about you. I don’t think I’ve ever met a man as strong and confident.”

This time he wasn’t just stoking an older man’s ego. This time he meant every word he was

saying.

Jase wrapped his other arm around Luis and said, “Don’t talk. Just close your eyes and go

to sleep. You’re safe now.”

* * * *

A half hour later, Luis opened his eyes and pressed his palm to his forehead. When he

realized he’d been dreaming and repeating the words, “It’s not fair. I’m not going back,” over

and over, he took a quick breath and gulped. He didn’t remember the details of the dream. But it

couldn’t have been pleasant, because his chest was sweating and his heart was pounding.

Jase was still sitting up, wide awake, with his back propped against the pillows the same

way it had been before Luis had fallen asleep in his arms. He placed his palm on top of Luis’s

head and whispered, “Calm down. It’s just a bad dream.” Then he caressed Luis’s head and

asked, “What’s not fair?”

Luis pulled away from Jase’s chest and sat up in bed. He rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t say

that. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you did,” Jase said. “You kept repeating, ‘it’s not fair.’”

Luis reached for his dog and stood up. The bathrobe had come undone while he’d been

sleeping and the right side was hanging off his shoulder. Though his private parts were still

covered, the entire right side of his body was exposed.

“What’s wrong?” Jase asked. He stared at Luis’s body and pursed his lips.

“I don’t like people who ask too many questions,” Luis said. “If we’re going to be friends,

you’ll have to get used to this.”

Before Jase could respond, Luis turned and moved to the open window. Without saying

goodnight, he lifted his leg, stepped onto the fire escape, and ran back to his own apartment with

the dog in his arms.

Chapter Four

The next afternoon, Jase went for a long walk through Riverside Park. He took his time

and stopped to sit on a few benches along the way. This was the first time he’d gone for a walk

through any park in years and he wasn’t sure how he felt about having so much free time. On the

one hand, it was nice to be free from phone calls, e-mails, and all the demands that had become

part of his normal existence. On the other, he wasn’t sure how much solitude he’d be able to take.

Leaving the life he’d known for so long, not to mention the billion-dollar empire he’d built with

his own two hands, hadn’t been simple to do. At least he had his cheese-smoking invention to

work on. Among many other things, Jase had already invented a home cheese making kit called

The Cheese Virgin that had made millions of dollars. Now he wanted to invent a home cheese

smoker to accompany it.

Though Jase knew this was only a temporary situation, he felt uneasy about being so

secretive. But he also knew if he was going to find out who he was and try to explore some of the

things he’d missed while he’d been pretending to live an authentic life, moving to New York and

dropping out of sight for a while was necessary.

After his walk in the park, he strolled to a small grocery store near his apartment to pick

up a few things for dinner. He wasn’t much of a cook or a shopper; these things had always been

done for him. But he knew good cheese, good wine, and fresh bread. He could make a simple

salad and top it with prepared croutons all by himself. And if he didn’t feel like cooking later on,

that was fine, too. Now that he’d temporarily cut himself off from everything in his life and he

didn’t have to follow any rules, he could just put everything in the refrigerator and order takeout

if he wanted.

Sherman, his designer, was coming to his place for dinner that night and Jase had a

feeling Sherman wasn’t coming for the food. Jase could have served rotten eggs on moldy bread

and Sherman wouldn’t care. Though Sherman been a good friend and he’d helped Jase with his

experimental move to New York, Jase was beginning to suspect Sherman had ulterior motives.

He’d met Sherman at a party in Palm Beach the previous winter and they’d become close friends.

So far, Sherman was the only person in Jase’s real life who knew he was gay.

The night before this, while they’d been watching television in Jase’s living room,

Sherman reached out and placed his hand on Jase’s thigh. It was all very casual and innocent, but

it made the short hairs on the back of Jase’s neck stand up. They’d been watching a horror film

and Sherman had been up against Jase, biting his fist and cowering with his head on Jase’s chest.

It was after one in the morning and Jase could hardly keep his eyes open. He’d been holding

back a yawn for a half hour so he wouldn’t look rude. So instead of saying anything to Sherman,

Jase just stood up, yawned, and said he was going to bed. He told Sherman he could stay as long

as he wanted and to lock the door when he left. Jase had been hoping that if he ignored

Sherman’s casual pass, Sherman would get the hint and he wouldn’t try anything again.

Sherman, however, either didn’t want to get the hint, or he didn’t care. A few minutes

later, as Jase was just about to fall off to sleep, Sherman slipped into his dark bedroom, removed

his clothes, and climbed into Jase’s bed without asking if he was welcome. The next thing Jase

knew, Sherman started rubbing his naked leg against Jase’s and started breathing in soft, gentle

puffs.

Jase hadn’t expected him to be so bold; he’d never been in bed with another man. So he

opened his eyes and remained still, thinking of a way he could turn Sherman down without

hurting his feelings. He waited for a moment, then cleared his throat and said, “I’m really kind of

tired tonight. I think it might be best if you just went home now.” His voice was pleasant and

even; he pretended as if this were something perfectly normal between two friends.

Sherman wasn’t the least bit insulted. He simply got out of bed, put on his clothes, and

kissed Jase goodnight. He even remembered to leave Jase some cash. It was really Jase’s money,

not Sherman’s. When Jase had decided to move to New York, he’d set up a bank account in

Sherman’s name and now he depended on Sherman to give him money when he needed it. For

the time being, Jase didn’t want anyone in his real life to know where he was or what he was

doing. Without Sherman’s help, people would have been able to track Jase down through his

own bank accounts and credit cards.

There was nothing sinister or criminal about what Jase was doing. He checked in with

people close to him three times a week without giving them any details. He’d told everyone in

his life he was going on a spiritual pilgrimage for a few months, which wasn’t a complete lie. He

just wanted complete privacy for a short time, to find out who he was and what the next half of

his life would be about. With his high-profile reputation in the financial world, he wouldn’t have

been able to do this without some help from a man like Sherman.

Sherman could have been insulted by the rejection and he could have threatened to

expose Jase, which was the last thing Jase wanted. If Sherman became mad at Jase the

experiment would be ruined and he’d never find out who he was. And Jase could have just had

casual sex with Sherman—it was all he seemed to want—and all this would have been so much

easier. But Jase had never had sex with a man, and he didn’t want his first time to be with

Sherman. Though Sherman was attractive enough, and Jase had a feeling he was probably

wonderful in bed, Jase wasn’t in love with him. Jase had waited too many years and missed too

many opportunities to take love lightly. Jase had experienced more things in his life than most

people could dream about, but he’d never experienced what it was like to have sex with someone

he truly loved. At this point in his life, after working so hard for so many years, he wasn’t about

to settle for anything less.

So after Sherman kissed him on the cheek and left the apartment, Jase took a deep breath

and sighed. He was tired and all he wanted to do was close his eyes. Then, a moment after

Sherman left, Luis knocked on his window. When Jase thought about how cute Luis looked

sitting on the windowsill, trying to avoid the drama happening in his own apartment, he couldn’t

stop smiling.

Jase had been wondering about Luis all day. He hoped he hadn’t offended Luis the night

before. It was one of the reasons he’d taken a long walk through the park. When Luis just

jumped out of his bed without a reasonable explanation, Jase wasn’t sure what had happened.

After Jase left the grocery store, He returned to his apartment to prepare dinner for

Sherman. When he opened the front door and turned to the left, he saw a small note taped to his

mailbox. At first he thought it was from Sherman. But when he pulled it from the box and started

to read it, he smiled and shook his head.

Sorry I was such an asshole last night. I didn’t mean to freak out like that, but I had an

awful nightmare. I’m having a few people over for drinks tonight at my place. I’d love it if you

could come. Around eight thirteen…if you’re not busy with your interior designer friend, that is.

Luis Fortune

Jase put the note in his pocket and smiled. Luis had signed his last name with such a

formal, professional flair. He’d even added a few wisps and curls to the E at the end of his name.

It was a shame Jase couldn’t go to the party because of his plans with Sherman. He was curuious

to see the type of people with whom Luis socialized.

He jogged up five flights so he could take a short nap before Sherman arrived.

When he opened the door, the telephone in his bedroom started to ring before he had a chance to

put down the grocery bag. He ran to the bedroom and picked it up, placing the groceries on the

floor beside the desk. He didn’t bother to check the caller ID. The only person who knew this

number was Sherman.

“Hey,” Sherman said. “I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. I have a last-minute

dinner with clients from East Hampton. I’m redesigning their home and they want to go over a

few details tonight. They’re leaving for Paris and they insist.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Jase said. “I even bought groceries. I was going to cook tonight.” He

was only going to toss salad and slice bread. But to him, that was cooking.

“Are you terribly upset?” Sherman asked. “If you are, I can get out of this.” Since Jase

had moved to New York, Sherman’s voice sounded more seductive and coy than usual. He

didn’t actually flirt. But the underlying message was becoming more apparent with each

conversation.

“No,” Jase said. “I’m fine. You have a wonderful dinner and we’ll talk tomorrow.

Business comes first.” He kept his voice even and stoic. It was best for Sherman if he didn’t flirt

back and encourage him, and this way Jase would be able to go to Luis’s cocktail party after all.

* * * *

Jase didn’t knock on Luis’s door until after eight thirty that evening. He didn’t want to

be the first one to arrive and forced to make small talk with people he didn’t know. The man who

answered the door, however, didn’t seem to mind talking to people he didn’t know. He

welcomed Jase into Luis’s apartment, escorted him to the small kitchen where the drinks were

being made, and spoke to him as if they’d known each other all their lives. When Jase said he

wanted vodka with a splash of water, the guy reached for a bottle of the most expensive vodka

money could buy.

“I’m Michael,” he said. “I’ve known Luis for about a year now. I work for a modeling

agency.” He smiled nonstop and spoke with a lighthearted lisp. He looked about the same age as

Jase, but he could have been slightly younger. Though he was about twenty pounds overweight,

he was wearing a tight black short-sleeved shirt and tight black low-rise slacks made out of a

stretchy-looking material. His paunch pulled the fabric of the tight shirt and fell over the

waistband of his slacks; his perky little man-breasts pointed out and drooped in opposite

directions. When he turned to make Jase a drink, his rear end was as wide as it was square.

While Jase waited for his drink, he put his hands in his pockets and smiled. At least he

felt comfortable about what he was wearing: a white shirt, low-rise jeans, and black shoes. When

he looked around the room and saw what other people were wearing, he knew he wasn’t too

formal or too casual. There were already little clusters of people talking in different sections of

the small apartment. There was a group of women standing near the window. They were holding

bottles of beer and laughing about something. A couple of them had long hair and were wearing

dresses. But most had men’s haircuts and they were wearing baggy sweatsuits and running shoes.

Another group, on the opposite side of the room, was all men. They were young and thin and far

too animated to be taken seriously. They all had extremely short hair spiked and primped with

product, they all wore skimpy little shirts that hugged their ribs and showed an inch of abdomen,

and they all had at least one tattoo. One guy had hair that had been bleached so white it looked

brittle to the touch. Another had large silver rings on every finger, his fingernails were painted

black, and when he spoke he waved his hands in so many different directions the guy beside him

had to duck a few times.

When Michael handed Jase the drink, he looked him up and down and said, “What’s your

name, doll?”

“It’s Jase,” he said with a friendly smile. He didn’t want to mention his last name; he

didn’t know this guy well enough and he didn’t want to take the chance of being recognized.

“So how do you know Luis, Jase-doll?” He was one of those slick hipster types that

called everyone doll, sweetie, or baby while speaking through the side of his mouth.

“I live next door, just moved in.”

“This place is some dump, isn’t it?” Michael asked. “Luis is giving these losers the best

vodka in the world and he’s living in a dump like this. I don’t get him.”

Jase raised his eyebrows. Even if Jase had thought the same thing briefly, he would never

have said it aloud.

Michael smiled and leaned in closer, as if he were about to tell Jase a deep dark secret.

He winked and asked, “Did you, or didn’t you?”

Jase blinked. “What do you mean, did I or didn’t I?” He took a sip of his drink and tilted

his head to the side.

But before Michael could answer, the doorbell rang and Michael excused himself.

Evidently, Michael had taken it upon himself to answer the front door for Luis.

Jase followed Michael into the living room section and watched him open the front door.

A small woman with short, bright red hair lifted her arms up high and screamed. Then she

hugged Michael and said, “Darling, it’s so good to see you again. It’s been ages.” Her French

Canadian accent—Jase could spot a French Canadian accent miles away—was as thick as the

woman’s makeup. She didn’t speak—she screamed sentences with a shrillness that made Jase

wince. And she was wearing the most peculiar little hat Jase had ever seen. It looked like a black

velvet crown covered in black netting, with a little white bird that had been fastened to the side

with a glue gun. The small, portly man who had arrived with her smiled and nodded at Michael.

He had large bulging O-shaped eyes and thick lips that looked as if they were perpetually pursed.

When he opened his mouth to greet Michael, his voice was so effeminate Jase almost expected

him to curtsy in the doorway.

“Come in,” Michael said, welcoming them into Luis’s apartment. “Luis is still getting

ready. He’ll be out soon.”

As the pair crossed to the kitchen to get drinks, Luis came walking down the hallway

from his bedroom. He was wearing the exact same outfit Jase was wearing, black shoes and all.

He looked Jase up and down, smiled, and said, “We must have been thinking the same thing

tonight.”

“You look great, Luis-doll,” Michael said, staring at the way the tight jeans hugged

Luis’s legs. “You’ve never looked better.”

Jase pulled a block of hickory wood from his pocket and handed it to Luis. “I didn’t

know what to bring, so I figured you might like this.” He’d brought the block of wood as a joke,

because Luis had seemed so interested in the box of hickory blocks the night before.

Luis reached for the small piece of wood and stared at it for a second before he smiled

and said, “It’s wonderful. I love it. Thank you.” Then he placed it on a small table next to the

front door. “I think it looks perfect there. It will always remind me of one of the nicest nights of

my life.” His voice was higher than usual; he seemed to enjoy greeting his guests and being the

center of attention at his own party. If he didn’t, he was putting on a great act for the sake of

appearances.

“I was hoping you’d like it,” Jase said. Though Luis’s voice wasn’t as sincere as it

normally was, Jase knew Luis really did like the little block of wood.

“What is it?” Michael asked, tilting his head and making a face.

“It’s a block of hickory from one of Jase’s inventions,” Luis said. “Jase is going to be a

rich and famous inventor one day. Who do you know who can help him, Michael? You’re an

agent. I’m sure you must know someone who handles these things.”

“An inventor?” Michael asked, nonplussed. “What could I do for him? I rep porn stars.”

Jase blinked again. He’d never met anyone in the porn business.

“Yes,” Luis said, “and he’s very good at it. And you’re going to help him make his first

million with little blocks of hickory wood. You must have connections.” Then he reached out

and pinched Michael’s cheek. “And you’re going to do this just for little ole me because you’re

such a sweet, adorable man.”

Michael moved in closer and placed his palm on the small of Luis’s back. “Let me take

care of this later with Jase-doll, sweetie. I’m more interested in you tonight. I haven’t seen you

for a while. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

Luis smiled and stepped back far enough so Michael’s hand couldn’t reach his body. “I

have to finish getting dressed.” He turned and started walking back to his bedroom. “But just

remember one thing, Michael. I discovered Jase and I’m his agent when he becomes a

billionaire.”

When Luis was gone, Michael turned to say something to Jase but the doorbell rang again.

He excused himself and let another group of people into the apartment. A minute later, he went

back to where Jase was standing.

“So what do you think, Jake-doll?” Michael asked.

Jase lifted his arm and smiled. “It’s Jase-doll, not Jake-doll.” He didn’t like being called

doll by anyone. But Michael was as harmless as Luis’s little bald dog and he didn’t want to insult

him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Michael said. “I’m curious. C’mon, tell me the truth. I’m dying to know.

Did you or didn’t you?”

He had no idea what Michael was talking about. “Did I or didn’t I what?”

Michael leaned in so close Jase could smell the alcohol on his breath. “Did you get into

Luis’s pants? I hear he never puts out for anyone. There are rumors all over the place that he’s

actually still a virgin. I even heard once that his dick is mutant.” He looked back and forth and

pressed his palm to his cheek. “They say his dick is so big you can’t do anything with it. I’ve

heard he has a monster cock.”

Jase laughed so hard he almost sprayed Michael’s face with his drink. When he finally

composed himself, he cleared his throat and said, “I don’t know about that.” But he did know.

He’d had a quick glimpse of Luis’s penis the night before. When Luis’s robe had opened by

accident, he couldn’t help himself. From what Jase had seen, Luis had a nice, ordinary, average-

looking penis; nothing mutant about it.

“But did you or didn’t you?”

“I didn’t.”

Michael frowned and shook his head. Then he scratched the back of his neck and said,

“Well, join the club, Jase-doll. No one else in this room has slept with him either.”

As the night pressed on and more guests arrived, Michael left Jase alone and disappeared

in the crowd. Jase didn’t spend much time with Luis, because Luis was busy talking with all his

guests. He floated between them, entertaining them with witty comments and pithy jokes. But

Jase didn’t mind. He sat on a window seat with the dog on his lap, watching people drink too

much and compete to be the loudest. From what Jase could see, the annoying little woman with

the French Canadian accent and the little bird glued to her hat seemed to be up for first prize in

the noisy-obnoxious category. At one point, Jase felt like pushing her right out the window.

The guests that arrived after Jase were not exactly people Jase would have seen at White

House dinners, and he’d been to enough White House dinners over the years to know the

difference. These so-called friends of Luis’s, though Jase doubted Luis was close to any of them,

were more like jaded D-listers (maybe E) who didn’t have anything better to do that night. They

were either trying too hard to impress each other with exaggerated stories of their limited

achievements, or trying to hook up with someone for the night. The only person Jase vaguely

recognized was a politician he’d read about in the newspaper, a tall attractive man with silver

temples and a stoic expression. He wasn’t the most important politician in New York State, but

he seemed like one of those ambitious types who would go anywhere and smile at anyone for a

vote. Other than the politician, the most interesting people at the party were the drag queens.

There were three: one was over six feet tall with six-inch stilettos and huge hands, another was

short and chubby with a red Lucille Ball wig and a blue tent dress, and the oldest one resembled

Ethel Merman with broad shoulders, large feet, and five o’clock shadow.

By midnight, the small apartment was so jammed with people Jase had trouble crossing

through the room to get another drink. One woman cursed him for bumping into her by accident

with his drink. By two in the morning, Mr. Gordon, the landlord, started calling to complain

about the noise. Jase was the only one who heard the phone ring; he just happened to be passing

the loveseat where Luis had shoved the phone under the cushion. Jase tried to tell Luis about Mr.

Gordon so Luis wouldn’t get in trouble. Mr. Gordon had threatened to call the police if the noise

continued.

But Luis was busy with his guests and he wasn’t paying attention. He didn’t seem to care

that there were three young guys in the corner of his living room kissing each other and groping

each others’ private parts. Actually, Luis didn’t stop to focus on anything until the tall drag

queen with the six-inch stilettos passed out cold in the middle of the living room floor. Jase had

been watching this one closely. There were lines of dark mascara running down her cheeks, her

lipstick was smudged, and her wig was so crooked strands of her own salt-and-pepper hair were

sticking out above her ears. She’d been drinking vodka straight from the bottle and wobbling

around the room talking to herself all night. When she finally finished the last few drops left in

the bottle, her head tipped back, her body went forward, and she landed on the floor with a loud

thump.

It was so loud the entire room shook and everyone stopped talking to see what had

happened. A few minutes after that, Jase heard sirens in the distance. Mr. Gordon hadn’t been

joking about calling the police.

Jase was standing next to the politician when the sirens sounded. The politician grabbed

Jase’s arm and asked, “Is there another way out of here? I can’t get involved with the police.”

Jase couldn’t get involved with the police either. They would have found out who he was

and all of his plans would have been ruined. So he grabbed the politician’s arm and said, “Follow

me.”

He pulled the politician into the bedroom and to the bathroom. In the bathroom, he pulled

back the shower curtain and found Michael and the short, chubby drag queen in the tub. Michael

was standing with his legs spread apart and his zipper down, and the short drag queen was on her

knees giving him head. She’d removed her false teeth and placed them neatly on the edge of the

tub.

Jase stared at her false teeth and blinked. Then he looked at Michael’s dick and blinked

again. Michael had one of those curved dicks. The base of his straight shaft was sticking out of

the drag queen’s mouth about an inch or two, but the curved head was pushing the drag queen’s

right cheek out. At a glance, it looked as though she had a golf ball in her mouth pressed to her

cheek.

Jase cleared his throat and said, “Excuse us.” Then Jase and the politician stepped

between them and crawled out the bathroom window onto the fire escape.

When they were outside, the politician thanked Jase fast, then climbed down the fire

escape so he could sneak out through the back alley.

As Jase walked by the living room window, he realized he’d left the party just in time.

The police were already inside Luis’s apartment breaking things up. One cop was manhandling

the short drag queen who had been blowing Michael, and another was looking down at the bird

glued to the redheaded woman’s hat. Luis was talking to a tall cop who had a mean expression.

Luis was smiling and his palms were pressed together as if he were pleading with him. But Jase

didn’t wait around to see how it ended. He rubbed his jaw and smiled, then went back to his own

apartment and closed the window.

Chapter Five

“Are you decent?” Luis asked, sticking his head through the open window.

Jase looked up from his desk and smiled. “I’m almost decent.” He was wearing a white

undershirt and white boxer shorts.

Luis had just knocked on Jase’s bedroom window. He was standing outside on the fire

escape, wearing nothing but a short white towel wrapped around the lower part of his waist. It

was Friday again. He hadn’t seen or heard from Jase all week, not since the night the police had

raided his cocktail party.

“Can I come in?”

Jase shrugged. He was working on something at his desk. His laptop was open and he

was drinking a cup of coffee. “Sure,” he said. “Who is after you now?”

“I’m not running this time,” Luis said. “This is a social call.”

“Then by all means come in,” Jase said, gesturing with both arms.

But when Luis put his legs through the window and stepped into Jase’s bedroom, Jase sat

back in his chair and laughed. “I should have asked if you were decent, too.”

Luis adjusted the skimpy towel and gave him an innocent look. “We’re both guys,” he

said. “You look as if you’ve never seen another man in a towel before.” The towel was so small

the ends barely met at his thin waist. Though his private parts were covered, all of his right leg

and half of his naked ass were exposed.

“I’ve been inside plenty of locker rooms,” Jase said. “I played football in high school and

college.”

“Well, I just took a shower and I didn’t feel like getting dressed yet.” He didn’t mention

he had his body waxed regularly. He liked men to think he was naturally smooth all over.

“I see.”

Jase certainly was a difficult man to read. Luis was dressed this way on purpose. He

wanted to see if he could get a reaction from Jase, one way or the other. If any of the other guys

Luis knew had seen him wearing nothing but a towel, they would have been all over him before

he had a chance to clutch his towel. His agent friend, Michael, would have been on his knees

begging Luis to remove the towel. Then Michael would have been begging to play with his ass.

But not Jase. He just sat there at his desk, with a lugubrious expression on his face, as if this sort

of thing happened to him all the time.

“I was wondering if you’d do me a little favor this afternoon,” Luis said. He spoke slowly

and with caution. After what had happened at the party, he wasn’t sure if Jase wanted anything to

do with him.

Jase crossed his hairy legs. “What kind of favor?” he asked.

“It’s Friday.”

“I know,” Jase said. “How could I forget? We just got through another week with four

Thursdays.”

Luis smiled. He didn’t think Jase would remember that old saying. “I was wondering if

you’d like to join me this afternoon. Derrick, my older real estate friend, is taking me to see a

couple of properties down in the Bowery and this time he’s bringing a friend of his, too. He said

he’d love it if I could bring one of my friends along to make it a foursome. We’re having lunch

in The Village afterwards.”

“Seriously?” Jase asked. “I’m not exactly one of your young friends. I’m forty years old,

in case you haven’t noticed.”

“But you look like thirty,” Luis said, moving closer to the desk, lowering his voice so

he’d sound shy and innocent.

Jase gave him a look. “I’m not sure if you’re telling the truth, but thank you anyway.”

“Of course I’m telling the truth,” Luis said. His voice returned to normal. “I may be a

little peculiar at times, and I may have a few colorful friends. And yes, my parties do get raided

once in a while. But I always tell the truth. I hate liars. You don’t look a day over thirty years

old.” He crossed his heart, kissed his pinkie finger, and lifted it up in the air. “Besides, these

guys are old. You could be sixty and still look like chicken compared to them.”

“Chicken?”

“That’s gay for a very young, hot guy.”

“I’m still not sure,” Jase said. “Clearly, I’m not chicken.”

Luis moved closer. When he was next to Jase’s leg, he purposely adjusted the towel to

show more of his ass. But the towel accidentally slipped away from his body and fell from his

waist. It was a good thing he was still holding the one corner to cover his dick. He clutched his

groin and smiled. “Please come with me,” he said. “I’ll be stuck with both of them all afternoon

if you don’t. I’ll pay you back. I swear I will.”

“I think I’ll pass,” Jase said, turning his head as if afraid to look at Luis for too long.

“I’ve been working on something all day.”

“All you have to do is smile and pretend you’re having fun,” Luis said. “It’s not that

difficult.”

“If I did do this,” Jase said, “I’m not bringing my dirty sweat socks, or anything like

that.”

“You don’t have to bring your dirty sweat socks,” Luis said, laughing. “He’s only

interested in my sweat socks. And I’ll give you the five hundred dollars when we get back home

tonight.”

“What time do we have to leave?”

Luis smiled and reached for Jase’s arm. He lifted it gently and looked at Jase’s watch.

“We have to be down in the Bowery at two.” He rubbed Jase’s arm with his fingertips for a

moment. When he looked down between Jase’s legs, he saw the head of Jase’s erection sticking

out through the fabric of his boxer shorts. At least Jase was attracted to him. Luis had been

wondering about that.

Jase pulled his arm away and looked at his watch. “It’s one thirty,” he said, covering his

lap with a magazine from the desk. “We’ll never get down there by then. You’re not even

dressed yet. You’re stark naked.”

Luis waved his arm and turned around so Jase could see his ass. He walked slowly to the

window and said, “We have plenty of time. Derrick knows I’m usually late. He’ll wait, trust

me.” Then he leaned forward, arched his back as much as he could, and slipped the top half of

his body through the open window. “I’ll meet you out in the hall in ten minutes. Is that enough

time?” He couldn’t see Jase’s face, but he knew Jase was holding his dick while staring at his ass.

“Make it fifteen and you’ve got a deal,” Jase said.

On the way out the window, Luis wondered if Jase would finish himself off before he got

dressed.

* * * *

When they met in the hall, Luis stared at Jase for a moment and smiled. He was wearing

the tight jeans he’d been wearing the first day Luis had met him, the jeans that made his dick

bulge out. His shirt was a black V-neck and he was carrying a leather jacket over his arm.

“You look nice,” Luis said. “I like those jeans.”

Jase’s face turned red and he adjusted the jacket over his arm. “Thanks,” he said. “So do

you. I’ve never seen anyone get dressed so fast. Just a minute ago your hair was sticking up all

over the place, and now it’s perfectly styled. You look like a model.”

“I’m not vain about these things,” Luis said. “I know people who take hours to get ready,

and they never look any different. Sometimes they look worse. I never take too long to get ready

for anything. I don’t see the point. You’re going to look the same and be the same person

whether it takes you five minutes or fifty minutes to get dressed.”

“I never thought of it that way,” Jase said. “But you have a point.”

On the street, Luis turned left and said, “I hope we get a taxi. If we don’t, we’re going to

have to take the subway.”

Jase grabbed his arm and pulled him to the right. “Follow me,” he said. “I’ll drive. My

car is just up the block in a garage. It’s the fastest way to get down there.”

“You have a car?” Luis asked. Most of Luis’s friends and acquaintances couldn’t afford

cars in Manhattan. Evidently, Jase’s decorator friend paid him well.

“Actually, a truck.” Jase shrugged and started walking up the block. “C’mon,” he said.

“We’re already late, and I hate being late. I’ll race you to the garage.”

A few minutes later, they reached the parking garage at the same time. Their faces were

red and they were gasping for air. Luis hadn’t run this fast since the time he’d almost been

mugged up in the South Bronx. He grabbed Jase’s arm, leaned over to catch his breath, and said,

“You sure are fast for a forty-year-old. You’re not even out of breath.”

Jase squared his wide shoulders and lifted his chin. “I work out a lot,” he said.

When the young parking attendant with the shaved head saw Jase again, he grabbed

Jase’s keys and jogged over to where they were standing. He smiled at Jase and handed him the

keys, then looked Luis up and down with an expression that was a cross between a sneer and a

frown.

“Thanks,” Jase said, as he reached for the keys, “I’ll be out all afternoon.”

“I’ll be right here when you get back,” the attendant said. “You know I’ll take good care

of you, man. You’re looking good today.”

Jase’s face turned red again. He thanked the attendant and said, “I’ll see you later. I’m

late for something right now. But you look nice, too. Thanks.”

Luis looked down at his shoes and pretended he wasn’t interested. But he was wondering

why Jase was flirting with this guy. He wasn’t Jase’s type at all. There was something sleazy

about him, and his fingernails were dirty. Jase didn’t have to tell the guy he looked nice,

especially not while Luis was standing there with him. He could have just thanked him and kept

on walking.

The attendant smiled and looked into Jase’s eyes. “I’ll be here, man.” Then he gave Luis

another dirty look and walked back to his booth.

When he was gone, Luis said, “That guy is hot for you. He wants to get in your pants.

But he looks like trouble to me.” A moment after the words came from his mouth, he was sorry.

It was none of his business. He had no right to interfere in Jase’s life. He never did things like

that.

Jase turned and started walking to the truck. It was parked up front, in the first row,

between a big blue Bentley and a white Mercedes Benz. “He’s just a nice kid, is all. And he can’t

be more trouble than you are.”

Luis frowned and looked back at the parking attendant booth. The young guy with the

shaved head was staring him and shooting him dirty looks. Luis didn’t pursue the issue with Jase,

but he knew the guy was hot for Jase. The little creep was practically ready to drop to his knees

and beg for Jase’s dick. Luis wasn’t sure why this bothered him, but his stomach tightened and

his teeth clenched. He had the urge to kick the attendant in the balls.

Jase walked up to a large black pickup truck and clicked the locks. It was one of those

long trucks, with oversized knobby tires, four doors, and tinted windows. Luis pressed his palm

to his chest and said, “I can’t believe you drive a pickup truck.”

Jase laughed and opened the driver’s door. “Calm down,” he said. “It has leather seats

and power windows. It’s not a Rolls Royce. But it gets me around just fine.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Luis said, walking to the passenger side. “I’m just shocked to

see you drive a truck. My uncle back home, the one I told you about with HIV, drives a truck just

like this. Only his truck is ten years old now and he’ll probably have to keep it for another ten

because money is so tight.”

Jase smiled. Before he sat down, he said, “I should warn you. I’m still getting used to

driving in New York.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Luis said. “I’m used to New York cab drivers by now.”

When Jase backed the truck out of his parking space, he tapped the gas pedal with a light

touch and eased the huge truck backwards with care and precision. When he drove through the

garage and turned left to enter the street, he kept his foot on the brake the entire time. Luis put on

his seat belt, adjusted his body to a comfortable position, and folded his hands on his lap. He

smiled and looked out the window at people walking down the street. Sitting in a big,

comfortable truck with black leather seats was a nice change—so quiet!—from public

transportation. And Jase seemed like a good driver in spite of the fact that he was getting used to

driving in New York.

For the first time in a long time Luis wasn’t dreading his Friday afternoon visit with

Derrick. But when Jase pulled into the street and hit the gas, he came within inches of

sideswiping a taxi. The back of the truck fishtailed and the tires screeched. People stopped

walking and lowered their sunglasses to see what was going on. At the end of the block, Jase

clipped the rearview mirror on someone’s SUV without even knowing it. Luis turned back and

saw the mirror dangling, then clutched the door handle and the armrest as hard as he could. His

feet slammed into the floor and his mouth opened wide.

At first, Luis didn’t want to say anything. Jase was in charge; it was his truck, and Luis

didn’t want to be accused of being a backseat driver. But when they crossed Amsterdam Avenue

and slipped between a city bus and a work van with only inches to spare on either side, Luis

pressed his palm to his chest and said, “We can be a few minutes late. Derrick won’t mind.” His

knuckles were white by then and his stomach was turning in knots.

“I’m not rushing,” Jase said. He was sitting all the way back in his seat. His legs were

spread, his right arm was resting on the armrest, and he was only using two fingers on his left

hand to steer the truck. “Am I going too fast? I guess I’m not used to city driving yet.”

“Ah well,” Luis said, as he watched two old ladies run back to the curb when they saw

Jase speeding toward them, “You might want to slow down just a little. We have plenty of time

to get there.”

Jase adjusted the rearview mirror and said, “Okay.”

Only he seemed to go faster. They cut through the park—a mistake—because Jase

thought it might be better to get downtown that way. Luis tightened his seat belt and reached for

the handle above his head with both hands. When they passed a horse-drawn carriage, the horse

stood up on his back legs and screamed. When they drove up on a sidewalk to avoid hitting a

jogger, a guy walking a dog jumped into a cluster of bushes head first. Jase just shook his head

and frowned, as if there was something wrong with the guy. If they had passed a police car, Jase

would have been pulled over and his license would have been revoked.

By the time they reached East 4

th

Street, Luis’s stomach felt as if it had risen to his throat,

and the muscles in his calves were sore from pressing his feet against the floor. A few blocks

away, they were lucky to find a parking space on the street not far from the address where they

were meeting Derrick and his older friend. Derrick was viewing three new real estate listings in a

new luxury development that afternoon. He had already told Luis his friend would be taking the

subway from Brooklyn to join them.

When Jase pulled the key out of the ignition, Luis looked up and exhaled for what

seemed like the fist time since they’d left the Upper West Side. Then he unbuckled his seat belt

and got out of the truck. His legs felt a little wobbly and his fingers were sore from holding the

handle. He stretched and flexed his muscles a few times to keep his balance. Though this had

been one of the most terrifying rides of his life, he didn’t want to complain to Jase. The ride

downtown seemed to have calmed Jase’s worries about meeting Derrick and his friend and Luis

didn’t want to upset him.

But when Jase walked to the other side of the truck and saw Luis stretching his legs, he

shoved his hands into his pockets and said, “I warned you. I’m not the best driver, especially not

in the city.”

Luis smiled and cleared his throat. He didn’t want to hurt Jase’s feelings. “You’re not

that bad,” he said. “And we did make it down here in record time.” They were only a half hour

late. If they’d taken a taxi, they would probably be still be stuck in midtown traffic. Jase had

found a way to avoid all that. He’d turned down a one-way street, taking the curb with him, and

he’d bypassed a huge traffic jam near 42

nd

Street.

“Where is this place?” Jase asked. He put on his black leather jacket and adjusted the

pockets.

Luis pointed to a large shiny building across the street and started walking. “Just

remember to be nice,” he said. “The only thing these guys are interested in is a little harmless

flirting and pleasant conversation. It’s actually very civilized.”

“I’ll remember that,” Jase said, as he followed Luis across the street with his hands in his

pockets. “I’ll be as sweet as pie.”

When they reached the building, Derrick and his friend were waiting for them in the

lobby. Derrick stood up, hugged Luis, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He didn’t seem at all

disgruntled about the fact that Luis and Jase were now over a half hour late. His voice was

animated and he looked good that afternoon. Though he was a large man with a wide stomach,

he wore simple conservative clothes that hung loosely and didn’t call attention to his weight.

That afternoon he was wearing a crisp white dress shirt, casual beige slacks, and brown loafers.

His thick silver hair had just been tinted light brown. There were still a few strands of gray at his

temples that hadn’t taken the dye. It looked very natural and took years off his face. Though Luis

wanted to compliment his hair, he decided not to call attention to it in front of Jase.

On the other hand, Derrick’s older friend from Brooklyn looked every bit his age. Except

for a few strands of white above his ears, most of the hair on his head was long gone. His large

black eyeglasses had lenses so thick they resembled the bottoms of canning jars. And his clothes

caused Luis to press his finger to his bottom lip. The old man wore a long black overcoat, a black

suit, a white shirt, and a black tie. His black shoes had those thick soles for support, and he was

carrying a black cane over his right forearm. He looked like a priest.

That was because he was a priest. When Derrick introduced his friend to Luis and Jase,

he laughed and said, “This is my friend, Thomas, from Brooklyn. He was a priest for sixty years.

He just retired.” He smiled and patted Thomas on the back a couple of times.

Luis had never actually met a priest. He didn’t even know priests could retire. He’d

always thought it was one of those jobs for life. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said.

Thomas wasn’t a talker. He shook Luis’s hand, mumbled something incoherent, then

stared down at his feet.

After that, Luis introduced Jase to everyone and they went up to see Derrick’s listings in

the building. Before they all went inside to see each individual apartment, Derrick disappeared

for a few minutes alone and they waited in the hallway for him to return. This was something

Derrick always did before he showed Luis one of his listings. Derrick claimed he wanted to

check the place out alone to get the feel of it so if he found an interested client he’d be able to

describe it well. He needed to be alone for a few minutes to memorize every little detail. But he

was never gone for longer than a few minutes at a time.

They walked through three newly renovated apartments in the building and Derrick jotted

down professional notes about the properties in a small black binder. While they talked about

granite countertops, double sinks in master bathrooms, and views of the city from living rooms,

Derrick made tacky jokes about life as an older gay man. Having Jase there seemed to make

Derrick more animated and entertaining. Luis laughed so hard at one slightly naughty joke about

prostates not working properly, tears filled his eyes. And when poor old Thomas didn’t get the

joke the first time and Derrick had to repeat it, Jase laughed so hard his face turned red and a

vein popped out in his forehead.

When they left the building and walked to a nearby restaurant for a late lunch, Jase pulled

Luis aside and said, “This is nothing like I expected it would be.” His voice was high and he was

smiling. “This Derrick guy is one of the most charming men I’ve ever met, and Thomas is one of

the most pleasant men I’ve ever met. I wasn’t expecting to have this much fun.”

Luis looked into his eyes and smiled. “This is why I love older gay men like Derrick and

Thomas so much. They are completely harmless, and more interested in good company and

being around younger guys than they are in sex. It’s not always like this, as you’ve seen from the

night I jumped through your window. But when it is, it’s very nice.”

“I like that,” Jase said. “I was worried they’d be as obnoxious as your friend Michael was

at the party. I was afraid they’d be groping us all afternoon. I’m glad they aren’t interested in sex.

Sex is highly overrated.”

Luis looked back and forth. They were standing in the restaurant waiting for a table.

When he saw no one was looking, he reached down and grabbed Jase’s ass. He squeezed it a few

times and smiled.

Jase jumped. “What was that for?” He seemed genuinely surprised.

Luis leaned in closer so he could whisper. “Just so you know, good sex is fun, too.”

Jase’s jaw dropped and his eyebrows shot up. But before Jase could reply, the waiter

arrived to escort them to a table. It was a small bistro, with an Italian theme, and the tables were

close together. At that hour, between normal lunchtime and dinner, they were the only customers

there. When they sat down, Jase sat next to Thomas, directly across from where Luis was sitting

against the wall. Derrick sat beside Luis on the outside, across from Thomas, and adjusted his

seat. Derrick was such a large man he had to sit closer to the edge in order to get comfortable.

His legs were so long his left knee stuck out in the aisle and the waiter had to walk around it.

But this didn’t stop Derrick from ordering a three-course meal and two rounds of fresh

bread. He said he loved food and at his age he wasn’t going to pretend or apologize to anyone.

Jase agreed with him and ordered his own three-course meal. Between them, they ate almost all

the bread and butter. Luis ordered a small salad. Thomas ordered a tuna fish sandwich and told

the waiter to make sure the chef washed his hands first. They each picked on one tiny piece of

bread—no butter. Luis said he wasn’t very hungry, and Thomas mumbled into his fist that he

didn’t want to spoil his dinner.

While they ate, Derrick continued to charm them with his stories and his jokes. Thomas

barely said three full sentences. Luis smiled and poked at his salad. Luis had already heard most

of Derrick’s stories and his jokes, so none of this was new to him. Luis guessed Thomas had

heard the stories before, too. But Jase was a brand-new audience, and the more he laughed, the

more Derrick continued.

During coffee, while waiting for Jase’s and Derrick’s dessert to arrive, Derrick sat back

in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. He looked Jase in the eye and said, “I’ve been

doing all the talking this afternoon and you’ve said nothing. I’m curious about you.”

Jase shrugged his shoulders and looked directly into Derrick’s eyes. “There’s not much to

tell.”

Derrick pressed his lips together and smiled. Then he winked and said, “I have a funny

feeling that’s not totally true. You look like a very bright, interesting man. And I have a feeling

you don’t escort older gay men around all the time. At least tell us where you’re from.”

Luis sat forward and rested his elbows on the edge of the table. He knew nothing about

Jase and he was curious, too. He’d forgotten how talented Derrick could be when it came to

getting information out of people. Derrick, thanks to his smooth sales skills, knew how to ask the

right questions, without being obnoxious or rude.

“I’m from Alaska,” Jase said.

Luis turned fast. “Alaska? You said you were from Florida.”

Derrick and Thomas looked at each other.

“I said I just drove up from Florida. But I’m originally from Alaska. I was born and

raised there. It’s still home to me.”

“What do you do?” Derrick asked.

“A little bit of everything,” Jase said. “I guess you could say I’m a renaissance man.

Right now I’m inventing a home cheese smoker, so people can smoke their own cheese right in

their own homes.” While he answered Derrick’s question, he looked into Luis’s eyes, as if to

demonstrate he was telling the truth.

For the first time that afternoon, old Thomas sat up in his seat and squared his shoulders.

When he heard Jase talking about cheese, his face lit up and his head jerked to the side. “I used

to make my own cheese,” he said. “I bought this little cheesemaking kit a few years back. It had

a catchy name I can’t recall, though.”

“The Cheese Virgin?” Jase asked.

Thomas slapped the table hard. The glasses wobbled and the flatware rattled. He laughed

and said, “That’s it! The Cheese Virgin. That’s exactly what it was called. I made cheese all the

time. I used to wish there was a cheese smoker to go with the kit.”

“I remember that cheese making kit,” Derrick said. “My mother had one. She raved about

it. She said it was the best cheese she’d ever had. She once made a smooth creamy cheese with

chives and garlic I’ll never forget. It makes my mouth water to think about it now.”

After that, Jase and Thomas spent the remainder of the afternoon talking about cheese

making and cheese smokers. Thomas stopped mumbling and his voice became louder and

articulate. Poor Derrick, so used to doing all the talking, couldn’t get a word in sideways. They

discussed the benefits and pitfalls of making cheese at home, and how in order to produce a

pound of cheese it took at least a gallon of milk. And you had to have cheesecloth handy, which

most people didn’t have lying around the house anymore. By the time Derrick handed the waiter

his credit card, Luis felt as if he knew all there was to know about making cheese. On the way

out of the restaurant, he realized he was hungry for a piece of good cheese.

They parted on the sidewalk with hugs and kisses. Jase said he’d enjoyed himself so

much he’d love to get together with them again in the future. Luis stood there watching Jase. It

was as if Jase had never gone out to lunch. He seemed to be forgetting the fact that Luis was

being paid to be there with Derrick. This wasn’t about friendship.

Before Derrick and Thomas turned to walk in the opposite direction Luis and Jase were

going, Luis stopped short, pulled a plastic bag out of his briefcase, and handed it to Derrick.

He’d almost left without getting paid. “Here you go,” Luis said. He was handing him his latest

pair of used sweat socks. He’d worn this pair to the gym the day before and they were extra ripe.

And though Derrick didn’t know it yet, Luis had put a used pair of underpants in the bag as an

added bonus.

“I had so much fun this afternoon I almost forgot,” Derrick said. He stared at the bag and

smiled. “Thank you so much for remembering.” Then he took the bag, pressed it to his chest with

one hand, and reached into his back pocket with the other for a white business envelope that had

been folded in half. He handed the envelope to Luis and winked. “See you next Friday.” Then he

turned and grabbed Thomas’s arm so he could walk Thomas back to the subway where Thomas

would catch a train back to Brooklyn.

Luis and Jase turned in the other direction and walked back to where the truck was

parked a block away. When they were there, Luis pulled the white envelope out of his bag and

handed it to Jase. “Here you go,” he said. “I told you I’d give you the five hundred for coming

with me today. I always keep my word.”

Jase pulled his keys out of his pocket and stared at the envelope. He lifted his arms and

stepped back. “I don’t want it,” he said. “I had fun this afternoon. Derrick was refreshing, and I

actually learned a few things from Thomas about cheese making.”

“A deal is a deal,” Luis said. He pressed the envelope to Jase’s chest. He was serious, too.

He’d promised Jase the money and he wasn’t going back on his word. Though he needed this

money to help with the rent that month, not to mention he’d missed a credit card payment the

previous month, he’d figure out another way to make money.

“Absolutely not,” Jase said, refusing to take the envelope. “I’d sooner cut off my arm

right here on the street than take your money. You keep the money and you’ll owe me a favor

now.”

“Are you sure?” Luis asked. He really did need the money for the rent. And that damn

phone bill was coming around again, too. No matter how much he made there never seemed like

enough to do anything more than just get by.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

“Then you have to promise me that you won’t hesitate the next time you need a favor.

I’m serious.”

Jase crossed his heart, licked the tip of his pinkie finger, and lifted it in the air. “I

promise,” he said. “You’ll be the first one I call.”

Chapter Six

A week later, while Jase was sitting at his desk checking out photos of nude men, he

heard music coming from his bedroom window. Jase wasn’t wearing anything. He was holding

his dick with one hand and clicking through photos with the other. Though he’d never been with

another man, he’d been relieving his sexual tension this way since he’d learned how to use a

computer. He didn’t go to the hardcore all-male porn sites. There was something about them that

left him feeling cold and lonely. But he did enjoy Web sites that focused on nude males who

weren’t engaged in sexual activity. The models on the these Web sites didn’t look as if they were

being exploited or forced to do this for money, where the models on the hardcore sites always

seemed so ill-fated.

The music was coming from the fire escape outside his bedroom. It was one of those

breezy evenings that portended warmer days to come. Someone was playing an old Beatles song

on a keyboard. It was a slow song, and the volume wasn’t very high. When Jase inhaled deeply

and held his breath, he could almost smell the ocean.

So he stopped jacking and closed the laptop. He shook his dick a couple of times and

pressed it down. Then he stood from his desk and picked up a pair of light blue sweatpants he’d

tossed over the back of his desk chair. He put them on quickly and walked to the window,

checking his dick one more time to make sure it wasn’t rock hard. When he pulled back the sheer

draperies to see who was playing, he looked to his right and smiled. Luis was sitting on his

windowsill with a tiny keyboard on his lap and his little dog at his feet. He was staring intently at

the keyboard and playing the song without music. His full lips were pressed together and he was

humming quietly.

Jase stood there without making a sound. Luis was wearing his short white bathrobe and

his legs were parted just enough so that Jase could see the softest part of his inner thighs. Jase

leaned into the wall and folded his arms across his chest. While Luis stared down at the keyboard,

unaware Jase was watching him, Jase smiled and watched Luis’s delicate fingers glide across the

keys. Luis had the smoothest most delicate fingers Jase had ever seen. At that moment, he

wanted to grab those hands and lick them one at a time.

When Luis finished the song, he looked down at his dog and frowned. He still didn’t

know Jase was watching him. He patted the dog’s head, took a quick breath and sighed so loud

the timid little dog jumped up and ran back into the apartment.

A moment later, he looked up and saw Jase standing in the window. But he wasn’t

startled or annoyed. He just smiled and said, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Have you been there long?”

“Just a few minutes.”

“You want a drink?”

Jase shrugged. “I’ll get a shirt.”

“No,” Luis said. “You don’t need a shirt. You’re fine just the way you are.”

Jase hesitated for a moment, then slipped his leg through the window and walked out on

the fire escape. By the time he reached Luis’s window, Luis was standing. The white bathrobe

Luis was wearing wasn’t fastened as tightly as it could have been. The belt drooped below his

waist as if ready to come untied and the edges of the bathrobe were parted about a half inch

down the middle of his body. He was holding the keyboard in front of his private parts and he

was smiling. When he turned and lifted his leg to climb into his apartment, he lost his balance

and fell backwards.

Jase was right behind him. Jase reached out and put his arms under Luis’s arms. When

Luis fell backwards, he landed on Jase’s chest. The bathrobe came undone and opened up

completely. It fell to his sides and exposed his entire body. Luis covered his private parts with

the keyboard and lifted his head. He looked into Jase’s eyes and said, “I’m glad you were there. I

could have broken something.”

Jase placed both palms on Luis’s bare chest and shook his head. “You’re more dangerous

right now in this position than I am driving through Manhattan in a pickup truck.”

“I don’t know about that. I’m actually fairly harmless. Ask anyone.”

Jase was becoming erect again. His heart was beating fast and his chest began to heave.

He took a quick breath and exhaled. He looked into Luis’s eyes and asked. “Can I kiss you?”

Luis lifted his head. His lips parted. “You don’t have to ask.”

When Jase lowered his head and his lips met Luis’s lips, a jolt of enthusiasm shot through

his entire body. Luis’s lips were soft and warm and ready to accept him. Though he’d never

kissed another man this way before, it felt so natural he slipped his tongue into Luis’s mouth and

pressed it against Luis’s tongue. For a second or two, the world stopped moving and everything

went blank. All the fantasies Jase had ever had about being with a man became real. The song

Luis had been playing on the keyboard began to repeat inside Jase’s head. Jase had never tasted

anything sweeter or more satisfying than the inside of Luis’s mouth. He couldn’t get enough.

The deeper his tongue went, the more he wanted.

Jase didn’t even realize his hands were sliding up and down Luis’s naked torso until Luis

pulled back and said, “Let’s go inside. Someone might see us out here. Mr. Gordon will scream

and call the police.”

Jase was still holding him in his arms. He helped him stand up straight, then kissed the

back of his neck. “I’ve never done this before.” He wanted to be honest. In case he wasn’t good

at it, he wanted Luis to know there was a reason.

Luis turned sideways and opened his eyes wider. “You’re a virgin?” His voice was soft.

He seemed surprised, but not alarmed.

“Not exactly,” Jase said. “I’ve been with women. I was married once and now I’m

divorced. But I’ve never been with a man.”

Luis reached down between Jase’s legs, and when he slipped his perfect hand down the

front of Jase’s sweatpants and wrapped his fingers around Jase’s erection, he smiled and said, “If

it makes you feel any better, I haven’t been with a man in more than three years.”

“Three years?” Jase sounded curious.

Luis ran the tip of his index finger up and down Jase’s shaft. He shrugged and said, “I

have to like the man first, and I just haven’t liked many men enough to do anything with them

for three years. And from what I’ve seen my uncle go through with HIV/AIDS, I don’t take

chances with anyone. I’ve always known what I’ve done, with whom I’ve done it, and where

I’ve done it.”

“But I’m a lot older than you are,” Jase said. “I’m forty years old. Doesn’t it bother you

that I’ve never been with a man before? It’s bothered me for a long time. It’s something I should

have done years ago.”

Luis smiled and closed his eyes for a second. “It doesn’t bother me at all,” he said. “If

anything, I’m flattered. You never forget your first time, and now you’ll never forget me.”

“You make it sound as if I’ll never see you again after tonight,” Jase said. His voice was

weak by then. With Luis’s fingers groping his dick, he had trouble forming a connected sentence.

Luis squeezed harder and said, “I insist on one rule. We’re just friends who like each

other very much. I don’t want to get seriously involved with anyone. I’m not looking for love or

a long-term relationship.”

By that time, Jase’s head was back and his mouth was half open. He would have agreed

to anything Luis had asked. So he nodded and grunted. “We’re just friends.”

After that, Luis pulled down the front of Jase’s sweatpants and adjusted his hand so he’d

have a firm grip on Jase’s dick. Then he pulled Jase into the apartment, through the living room,

and back to the twin bed in his room. When Jase was standing beside the bed, Luis released

Jase’s dick and removed his bathrobe. He grabbed the waistband of Jase’s sweatpants with both

hands. As Luis went down to his knees, Jase’s sweatpants went down with him. He guided Jase’s

feet out of the sweatpants one at a time, then pressed his palms to Jase’s strong thighs.

While Luis kissed the inside of Jase’s thighs, right below Jase’s balls, Jase closed his

eyes and spread his legs wider. His balls rested on Luis’s soft cheek. He caressed the top of

Luis’s head with light strokes and watched as Luis buried his face between his legs. It didn’t take

long for Luis to work his tongue up to Jase’s balls. When his lips brushed against them, he stuck

out his tongue and licked from the bottom of Jase’s sack all the way up to the base of Jase’s shaft.

Then Luis licked the entire length of the shaft until he reached the end. When he wrapped his

soft, sweet lips around the head, Jase closed his eyes and steadied his legs so they wouldn’t

wobble.

Luis remained on his knees for a long time. He sucked Jase off until his face turned red

and his lips began to swell. His rhythm was even and his actions were gentle and quiet. Though

Luis’s mouth was wet and warm, his chin remained neat and dry. He kept his eyes closed and the

only sounds that came from his mouth were occasional sighs and pleasant moans. While his head

moved back and forth and the head of Jase’s dick poked the back of his throat, he didn’t choke,

cough, or gag. And when Jase reached the point where he couldn’t hold back another second,

Luis seemed to know without asking, and he stopped sucking.

His head fell back and he licked a drop of pre-come from the tip. He swallowed and

looked up at Jase with his large green eyes. “Get into bed and lie down on your back.”

While Jase followed his tender order, Luis reached into a small box on his nightstand and

pulled out a pre-lubricated condom. He tore it open with his teeth and threw the wrapper on the

floor. Then he leaned over and covered Jase’s dick. It was bright red, with small ridges around

the head. Luis did this with such a light touch Jase threw his arms back over his head and closed

his eyes. Then he stretched his legs and arched his feet. Every muscle, joint, and bone in his body

was about to explode. He worked hard to control himself. He was ready to climax and he didn’t

want to spoil the moment. This was all knew to him. He hadn’t expected sex with a man to be

this good. In the past, he’d always had to force himself to reach the point of climax with mental

images and sexual fantasies. And now, for the first time in his life, he was forcing himself to

hold back and the only fantasy on his mind was Luis.

When the condom was in place, Luis climbed up between Jase’s legs and straddled

Jase’s hips. He spread his legs as wide as they would go, then placed one hand on Jase’s chest

and leaned forward. With the other hand, he grabbed Jase’s dick and guided it inside his body.

He worked the head into his opening and waited for a second. He wiggled his hips a few times,

arched his back, then slowly lowered his body until the bottom of his ass was pressed hard

against Jase’s flesh.

Luis closed his eyes and clenched his fists. While he sat on Jase, waiting for the initial

discomfort to subside, Jase reached down and grabbed Luis’s hips. He stroked them and

squeezed them gently, marveling at how soft and firm they were at the same time. Jase had never

entered anyone this tight, this soft, or this warm.

A moment later, Luis opened his eyes and leaned forward. He wrapped his arms around

Jase’s shoulders and laced his fingers behind Jase’s neck. When he started to ride up and down

so the shaft would slide all the way in and all the way out of his body, he kissed Jase so hard

their teeth clicked together.

A minute after that, while they continued to kiss, Jase started to buck his hips with the

same rhythm Luis was using to ride him. Jase squeezed Luis’s hips harder with his strong hands

and forced Luis’s ass to go up and down faster. Their bodies slapped together; their tongues

tightened and locked. When Jase couldn’t hold back a minute longer, he moaned, with his tongue

deep inside Luis’s mouth, and filled the condom with three days’ worth of come. It was such a

big load and such an intense climax, he actually felt the sensation in his toes.

Luis sat up and smiled. He adjusted his hips, forcing Jase to remain deep inside his body,

and nodded to his own erection. “Touch me now. Jack me off while you’re still deep inside me.”

He whispered this; it was a request, not an order.

When Jase reached for Luis’s erection and milked it, Luis closed his eyes and lifted his

arms in the air. By the time he sucked in his stomach and arched his back, he came all over

Jase’s stomach with one thick stream.

Then he lowered his arms and adjusted his hips. He bent down and gave Jase a peck on

the lips. “Was it okay?” he asked. “I don’t want to be responsible for someone’s first time being

awful. That would kill me.” His voice was a low stage whisper now; he was still breathing

heavily and his lips were still puffy.

Jase slapped Luis’s ass gently and said, “It was great. I’m still enjoying it.” He was still

inside Luis’s body and his dick was overly sensitive.

“Was it okay that we didn’t come together?”

Jase massaged Luis’s ass; he couldn’t keep his hands away from it. “Hell, we both came

within minutes of each other. Who cares whether or not we came together?”

Luis sighed and rested his cheek on Jase’s chest. “I’m glad you feel that way,” he said.

“I’m always reading about how important it is to come at the same time, gay or straight. But I

never thought it was realistic. That puts too much pressure on both people. And there shouldn’t

be any pressure when two people are making love.”

“Can we do this again tonight?” Jase asked. Though he never would have said this aloud,

he couldn’t wait to bend Luis over the bed and fuck him doggie style. He’d been fantasizing

about doing this to Luis for a while.

Luis sat up and wiggled his hips. “I suppose we can. But we’re not going to make a habit

of it. We’re still just good friends. Are we clear on this?” His voice was still soft, but there was

an edge that hadn’t been there earlier.

Jase smiled and nodded fast. Unlike most people Jase knew, when Luis spoke with a

serious tone it was hard to actually take him seriously. “We’re clear. I just want to fuck you on

your knees once. After that, I’ll never ask again.”

Luis’s eyebrows went up and he turned his heard fast. But he didn’t turn it fast enough.

Jase saw the huge smile on his face.

Chapter Seven

They had sex three more times that night. All three times they did it doggie style, Jase’s

favorite position. He’d begged to do it this way and Luis had accommodated him without any

arguments. Actually, the last time they did it Luis just got down on the bedroom floor on his

hands and knees, arched his back, and spread his legs for Jase. And in the morning, when Luis

got out of bed and put on his sweatpants to take care of the dog, he was walking with a slight

limp.

Jase walked up behind him in the kitchen and kissed the back of his neck. He grabbed his

ass and inhaled his aroma. Luis always smelled powdery and soft. Jase was about to put his hand

down Luis’s sweatpants when he heard a few loud knocks coming from his own apartment. The

walls in the building were thin; if someone knocked hard enough, the person in the next

apartment could hear it.

So Jase kissed the back of his neck again and said, “I should see who that is. It could be

important.”

“Yes ,you should,” Luis said, pouring a handful of dry dog food into the dog’s tiny bowl.

Jase kissed him on the forehead and ran into the bedroom for his sweatpants. He pulled

them up and crossed to the window that led to the fire escape. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later,” Luis said, placing the dog’s bowl on the kitchen floor.

A minute after that, Jase was inside his apartment and running to his door. He didn’t

bother to put on a shirt. He knew who was there. When he opened the door, Sherman was

standing in the hallway, tapping his right foot. He was wearing a tight black T-shirt, black jeans,

and black shoes. He looked more like he was going out to a nightclub than to pay an early-

morning visit.

Jase smiled and said, “Good morning.” He was hoping Sherman had brought him more

cash. He was running low and he didn’t want to make a withdrawal on his own. Though Jase

knew he was being overly cautious about keeping his identity hidden, he didn’t want to take any

chances for the time being. He was discovering important things about himself and he wasn’t

ready to face the real world yet.

Sherman kissed him on the cheek and walked into his apartment. Without stopping, he

wentd to a window that overlooked the street and pushed the drapery aside. When he looked

down, he said, “Maybe I’m being paranoid, but I think something is up down there. This guy has

been lurking outside your building for a week now. I’ve seen him in the same place each time I

come here. I didn’t want to alarm you. But he might be from one of those tabloid newspapers. He

may have figured out who you really are.”

Jase frowned and went to the window. When he looked down, he noticed a tall gangly

man in his late thirties or early forties, leaning against a lamp post in front of the building. “He’s

been there every time you come over?”

Sherman nodded yes. “He just stands there. It gives me the creeps.”

Jase rubbed his jaw and looked down again. The guy against the lamppost was wearing

an expensive brown leather jacket and light-colored slacks. His short dark hair looked as if he’d

gone to a high-end salon to have it styled, and he had two large gold rings on both hands. This

guy, whoever he was, didn’t look like a photographer or one of those sleazy reporters from the

tabloid newspapers who were usually poorly dressed, with drab clothes that hung loosely and

shoes that were scuffed and cracked. And they never wore decent jewelry. Jase had been dodging

these people for years; he always knew how to spot them. After the press had dubbed him “The

Virgin Billionaire” five years earlier, he’d lost almost all of his privacy and his life had never

been the same again. But Jase also knew these tabloid guys could be sneaky and they would

stoop to disguises. He wanted to find out if his cover had been broken.

So he went into his bedroom and got dressed. Then he went back into the living room and

said, “I’m going down there to see what this is all about.”

“Are you sure it’s safe to do that?” Sherman asked. “What if he recognizes you with your

new haircut and your new look? Then the world will know what you’ve been up to.”

Jase shrugged his shoulders and smiled. “I haven’t been up to anything,” he said. “I just

wanted to disappear for a while, to find out what it was like to be a gay man. I’m not ashamed of

what I’m doing, and I’m not going to apologize to anyone or be blackmailed by anyone. I’m

certainly not going to apologize to a sleazy tabloid journalist. If, in fact, this guy is following me,

and he’s on to what I’ve been doing, it might be time to go public once and for all. I’m tired of

not being who I want to be. The only reason I decided to drop out for a while was so that I could

live an authentic life.” He clenched his fists and squared his shoulders. After being with Luis the

night before, he realized how much of his life he’d missed. They were lost years he’d never be

able to get back, and he wasn’t about to waste the next half of his life pretending to be someone

he wasn’t.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Sherman said, reaching out to hug Jase. “I’m only

concerned about you.” Then he kissed him on the lips and rested his cheek on Jase’s chest.

Jase patted Sherman’s back and stepped away from him. He’d noticed Sherman was

becoming more affectionate and he didn’t want to encourage him. “I’ll call you later this

afternoon. Lock the door on your way out, please.” He didn’t ask Sherman to stay until he

returned.

Sherman smiled. “I have some cash for you. I’ll leave it on the desk in the bedroom

before I leave.”

“Thanks,” Jase said, then turned and walked out of the apartment.

When he went downstairs to the street, the man in the brown leather jacket was still

leaning against the post. Jase walked to the middle of the sidewalk and looked back and forth. He

hesitated for a moment, then turned and started walking toward Riverside Drive to see if the man

would follow him.

On his way to the park, Jase strolled along as if he didn’t have anywhere important to go.

He kept his hands in his pockets and casual expression on his face. He looked up at the sky a few

times and smiled. He even whistled and nodded at people who passed him. A couple of times,

when he came to the end of a street, he stopped and looked over his shoulder. The man in the

brown leather jacket was right behind him. The man remained far enough in the background so

he wouldn’t look too obvious. But when Jase turned and walked into the park entrance with the

man still behind him, Jase knew for sure he was being followed.

It was a warm, hazy day and it was still too early in the morning for the park to be filled

with people. The only other people there were walkers and runners out for their early-morning

workouts. A few were wearing business suits and carrying briefcases. Jase walked to a secluded

end of the park, where there were rows of empty park benches facing the river, and he sat down.

The man who had been following him stopped and leaned against a tree not far from where Jase

was sitting. For a few minutes, Jase waited there to see what would happen.

When nothing did happen, he turned to the man, stood up from the chair, and said, “I

don’t want to play games. What can I do for you?”

The man remained still, then a second later he walked over to Jase and said, “Let’s sit

down. I’d like to talk to you about something important.”

Jase’s eyes opened wide. When the man sat down on the bench, Jase sat next to him and

tilted his head to the side.

“Who are you? And what could you possibly want to talk about with me?” Jase asked.

Though this was unusual, at least Jase knew this guy wasn’t a tabloid reporter. Jase knew how to

spot them immediately. This guy seemed too defensive and cautious. If he had been a reporter,

he would have been aggressive and he wouldn’t have been sly enough to be so polite. He would

have confronted Jase with questions about what he was doing and why he was doing it. Then he

would have pulled a camera out of his pocket.

“I’m Dr. Kenneth Barton,” the man said. “I have a small practice back home in

Tennessee. I guess I’m what you’d call a country doctor up here in New York. I still make house

calls.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a photo. He held the photo up to Jase’s

face and pointed to someone in the middle. “This is him. This is why I’m here and why I’ve been

watching you. It was taken three years ago outside our home.”

When Jase looked at the photo, he pressed his palm to his chest. He leaned forward and

examined it closely. There were three people standing in front of a large brick house, with black

shutters and tall white columns. Luis Fortune was in the middle of the photo, Dr. Barton was

standing to his right, and there was another man standing to his left. The man on the left was

painfully thin, with sunken features and large round eyes. Jase studied the photo for a moment.

Luis’s hair was longer and he looked about ten pounds heavier. The other two were smiling, but

Luis was just standing there with pinched lips and his hands folded across his stomach.

“Are you Luis’s uncle?”

Dr. Barton laughed and pointed to the photo. “No, that’s his uncle. I’m his partner.”

“Partner?”

Dr. Barton nodded. “I met Freddie just after he turned eighteen.”

“Freddie?”

“His real name Freddie Bowles,” Dr. Barton said. “I fell in love with him the minute I

laid eyes on him. He came from a rural area…grew up there with his mother and father…born-

again Christians. When they caught him in the barn with one of their farm hands in a

compromising position, so to speak, they packed his bag and kicked him out. He was about

sixteen at the time and he had nowhere to go.”

“They just kicked him out of the house at sixteen?” Jase asked.

“You have to understand,” Dr. Barton said. “These people are serious about their religion.

They are the bible-carrying, card-carrying fanatics. And there’s no tolerance for gay men. When

they found out about him, they said he was doomed to wind up just like his faggot uncle with

AIDS, and they kicked him out of the house. He went to live with his uncle at first. But the uncle

lives in a rundown trailer outside of town and he could barely afford to feed himself. I get him

his HIV medications when I can, but those medicines cost thousands of dollars a month and he

doesn’t have any insurance. He’s too disabled to work. He had lung problems on top of it all. I

do my best, though. I help him out whatever way I can without charging him. But he’s not in

great shape.”

“And you and Luis…ah, Freddie…are partners?” Jase asked. His stomach was beginning

to twist into knots. Dr. Barton seemed like such a decent man. Jase felt guilty about what he’d

done with Luis the night before. Though he was divorced now, he’d never cheated on his own

wife. He had morals and ethics. He’d always figured just because he was gay it didn’t give him

license to fool around behind his wife’s back. “You lived together as a couple in Tennessee?”

Dr. Barton laughed. “We didn’t live in a rural area,” he said. “We lived together in a

more populated area. Though we were always discreet, I’m sure everyone knew about us. New

York isn’t the only place where gay men live as couples. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re

everywhere these days. I even have gay neighbors back home, believe it or not, two very nice

women.” Then he rubbed his jaw and laughed even louder.

“I’m sorry if that sounded bad,” Jase said, lowering his eyes to his lap. “I didn’t mean it

that way. I’m just getting used to being gay myself.” He felt foolish now.

“Freddie made me laugh,” Dr. Barton said. “He never stopped talking. I met him in a bar

and took him home that same night. I just don’t know why he ran off like he did. I gave him

everything he wanted. A nice little car, a good home, and all the love he could want. I even

offered to send him to the community college so he could start his education. Then one day I

came home from work and found a note. He just said he was sorry and that he had to leave. It

took me almost two years to find him. I finally got it out of his uncle. He sends him money from

time to time.”

Jase stood up and turned his back on Dr. Barton. He didn’t want Dr. Barton to see the

disappointment in his face. Though he and Luis had made a deal to be nothing more than just

friends, he couldn’t help feeling as if he’d just lost something very important. And he was

terrified he’d never get it back again.

“I need your help,” Dr. Barton said. “I’d like you to tell Freddie I’m here. If I just knock

on his door, it would be too much of a shock and he might run off. I don’t think he ever thought

I’d follow him to New York. He probably thinks I’ve just forgotten about him. But I couldn’t do

that. There’s only one Freddie.”

“Ah well,” Jase said. He didn’t know how to reply. Dr. Barton was attractive, decent, and

he seemed to be financially well off. If everything had been as good as Dr. Barton said it was

between them, why would Luis run off and disappear in New York? It was as if Luis had done

the same thing Jase had done, from changing his name to changing the way he looked. From

what Jase had seen in the photo, Luis had been stockier and thicker all the way around.

“Freddie is different from other guys,” Dr. Barton said. “You know what I mean? He’s

smarter and he has more style. He’s special.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Jase said.

“Will you help me?” Dr. Barton asked.

Jase took a deep breath and sighed. He had to do the right thing. So he forced a smile and

said, “C’mon, let’s go back. I’ll help you out.”

* * * *

When they returned to Jase’s apartment building, Dr. Barton waited downstairs and Jase

went up to Luis’s door and knocked. A moment later, Luis opened the door and said, “I’m on my

way to lunch with one of my older friends. I’m already ten minutes late and I really need the

money. I spent way too much on this sport jacket, and these jeans cost me more than a thousand

dollars. This is about three weeks’ worth of dirty sweat socks.” He was wearing a black Versace

jacket, a cream-colored shirt, and new tight jeans Jase hadn’t seen before.

Jase put his hands in his pockets and exhaled. “Maybe you should cancel lunch,

Freddie.”

Luis stepped back and thought for a moment. “Where is he? Is it my uncle?” Then he

walked around Jase out into the hall, and looked down the stairwell.

By that time, Dr. Barton was halfway up the steps. He was looking up at Luis with a

gigantic grin on his face. “Hello, Freddie,” he said. “I’ve missed you, kid. I came all the way up

here from Tennessee just to see what got into you.”

Jase turned to see how Luis would react. His heart began to race for no apparent reason.

Luis, however, remained calm. He lifted his head and smiled. “Ken,” he said. “How on

Earth did you ever find me here? It’s so good to see you again.”

Dr. Barton walked to the top step and reached out for Luis. He took him in his arms,

hugged him as hard as he could, then swooped him up off the ground. “I’ll tell you all about that

later,” he said. “Right now I just want to sit and stare at you for a while. I’ve missed you so much.

I’ve missed your voice, your smile, and they way you love to eat so much. I never knew anyone

else in my life that could polish off a whole turkey at Thanksgiving.”

Jase blinked. He rubbed his jaw and stared at Luis’s beautiful thin body. In the short

amount of time Jase had known Luis, he’d never seen him eat more than a small salad.

Luis didn’t put up a fight and he didn’t force Dr. Barton to put him down. When Dr.

Barton carried him to his apartment, he kicked the door shut in Jase’s face with his foot and left

Jase standing there alone.

Jase put his hands in his pockets and stared at the door for a moment. Then he turned and

walked back to his own apartment alone, with a frown on his face and a huge lump in his throat

that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard he swallowed.

Chapter Eight

An hour after Luis and Dr. Barton went into Luis’s apartment, Sherman showed up at

Jase’s door again. This time he was wearing skintight Lycra workout shorts, a skimpy string tank

top that bared his entire chest, and cross training shoes with thick soles. When Jase opened the

door and saw him standing there in this outfit, he rubbed his jaw and looked up at the ceiling. He

wasn’t sure where to look. Though he’d known Sherman for a while, he’d never seen his naked

chest.

“Well, are you going to invite me in, or what?” Sherman asked. His hands were on his

slim hips. The string tank top was cut low and his large, round pectoral muscles popped out and

formed a neat line of cleavage in the middle of his chest. He had those large nipples only some

men have. They formed soft points in the middle of each chest muscle like drops of melted

chocolate begging to be licked. There didn’t seem to be a sprig of body hair anywhere.

Jase smiled and stepped away from the door. “Sure,” he said. “C’mon inside. I just didn’t

expect to see you this afternoon.”

When Sherman crossed through the doorway, Jase looked down at Sherman’s chest again.

From the side, his nipples looked even more delicious. When Sherman walked into the living

room and dropped his backpack on the sofa, Jase rolled his eyes and shook his head. In those

tight Lycra shorts, Sherman’s ass was much larger and firmer than Jase had imagined it would be.

In regular slacks, his ass looked small and flat.

“I just came from the gym around the corner,” Sherman said, turning to face him. “I

signed you up for a membership in case you want to start working out.” He lowered his eyes and

licked his bottom lip. “Not that you need to work out. Your body looks great the way it is. I just

thought a gym membership might keep you from getting bored.”

Jase smiled. “Thanks,” he said. He stared at the bulge between Sherman’s legs. His dick

was soft, but Jase could see the outline of the head pointing to the right.

“I was wondering if I could use your shower,” Sherman said. “I have a change of clothes

in my backpack. I have an appointment in a half hour and I won’t have time to run back to my

place and shower.” He lowered his head and pouted. “Do you mind?”

“Sure,” Jase said, staring at his chest again. “By all means. You know where everything

is. And there are clean towels on a shelf beside the sink.”

Sherman smiled and thanked him, then kicked off his shoes, pulled down his shorts, and

removed his tank top right there in the middle of the living room floor. When he was nude, he

stretched his arms up in the air and arched his back while Jase stood there watching him. His thin

body was defined by layers of well-proportioned muscle. Without the tank top, his nipples

looked even sweeter.

When he lowered his arms again, he walked to where Jase was standing near the door and

reached for Jase’s hands. He took both of Jase’s hands and placed them on both sides of his ass.

Then he spread his legs and said, “It would be nice if you’d join me in the shower. We could

have some fun.”

Jase squeezed Sherman’s ass a few times. Now that Luis was back with his partner from

Tennessee, having sex with Sherman wasn’t cheating. Besides, they’d agreed to keep things

informal anyway. So Jase lowered his head and sucked Sherman’s right nipple for five or six

seconds. The skin on his ass was soft and smooth, yet the flesh was solid and firm. His nipples

were even softer. Jase wanted to resist the temptation. He was afraid that if he started a physical

relationship with Sherman it might ruin their friendship.

Then Jase thought about Luis again. He’d never met anyone like Luis before. He’d lost

his gay virginity to Luis the night before without even planning for it to happen. No one had ever

been able to stop his heart the way Luis could; no one had ever been so familiar and comfortable

to be with. All he had to do was see Luis walking down the street and he’d smile no matter what

kind of mood he was in. But Luis was in his own apartment now, with his life partner, discussing

the real life he’d left behind in Tennessee. And Sherman was standing in front of him, naked and

willing to please him.

So Jase spread Sherman’s ass apart and squeezed each side as hard as he could. “A

shower sounds good,” he said. “But just a shower. Nothing more. This is just sex and we go back

to being friends right after that. I want to be clear about this up front.”

Sherman reached down and unbuckled Jase’s belt. When he pulled down Jase’s zipper

and slid his hand into Jase’s pants to grab his dick, he smiled and said, “Sex is the only thing I’m

interested in, Jase. I’m not looking for a wedding ring and a register at Crate and Barrel. I’m

looking for a good, strong stud.”

* * * *

After the shower, Sherman put on his clothes and thanked Jase. “I always suspected you

were a good fuck,” he said, with a sober expression. “I could tell by the way you walked, with

those long, slightly bowed legs. But when you pinned me to the shower wall and started fucking

me just now, I thought I had an out-of-body experience. I’ve been with a lot of guys in my time.

But no one has ever actually lifted me up off the floor and fucked me at the same time while my

legs were dangling. You could make even more money than you already have just by hiring

yourself out to stud. I feel absolutely giddy right now.”

Jase laughed. His face turned red and he looked down at the floor. He wasn’t wearing

anything but a short towel, and he wasn’t used to receiving compliments like this from guys.

Though he’d thought about what gay sex would be like for many years, he’d never imagined

good-looking young guys like Sherman would be so thankful for a quick fuck. The entire event

had lasted less than fifteen minutes, yet Sherman was thanking him as if it had been the affair of

his lifetime. Jase didn’t think he’d done anything out of the ordinary. Jase had lifted women up

and fucked them against shower walls and none of them had ever thanked him this way. For a

moment, seeing the smile on Sherman’s face, he thought Sherman might fall on his knees and

bow to him.

“Even if we never do this again,” Sherman said. “I’m going to mark this afternoon down

as the best fuck of my life…so far.”

“Thanks,” Jase said. He was still blushing.

Sherman shoved his gym clothes into his back pack and zipped it up. While he loped to

the door, there was a knock on Jase’s window. He kissed Jase goodbye and said, “I have to run.

And you have company. I’ll check in with you later this week.”

“See you,” Jase said.

On his way out, Sherman stopped, pulled a stack of cash from his bag, and placed it on a

table beside the door. “Here’s some more cash and your gym membership card,” he said. “I also

figured I’d get more cash this afternoon. I was worried the three hundred I got this morning

wouldn’t be enough until the next time I see you.”

Jase nodded and said, “Thanks.”

When Sherman was gone, Jase jogged to the window and pulled the white draperies to

the side. Luis was looking at him through the glass. Jase opened the window and sat down on the

sill. “What’s up?” he asked. He couldn’t imagine why Luis was knocking on his window. Jase

had assumed he wouldn’t be seeing much of Luis now that Dr. Barton was in town.

Luis lifted one eyebrow and looked up and down at Jase’s almost naked body. Then he

looked across the room at the stack of money on the table. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,”

he said. “I saw your friend Sheldon leaving just now.”

“It’s Sherman, not Sheldon,” Jase said. “And it’s none of your business what he was

doing here.”

Luis smiled and pressed his index finger to his lips. “You’re right,” he said. “It’s none of

my business what you and Shelby do. Please don’t get mad. I’m an obtuse fool sometimes.”

When Luis emphasized the word obtuse, Jase laughed. Jase assumed this was another one

of Luis’s favorite new words. “That’s right,” he said. “It’s none of your business.” Jase knew it

was pointless to correct Sherman’s name again. He knew Luis would refuse to pronounce it

correctly no matter how many times he did.

“I need your help,” Luis said. He wasn’t wearing the expensive outfit anymore. He’d

changed into a pair of faded jeans, a gray T-shirt, and an old navy blue blazer with threadbare

elbows.

“I don’t understand,” Jase said. For a moment, he had trouble looking Luis in the eye and

he wasn’t sure why. He felt as if he’d just cheated on him with Sherman. Even though they were

not in a relationship and he’d only been with Luis one time, he still felt an enormous sense of

unwarranted guilt.

“Ken wants me to go back with him today,” Luis said. “I’m not going. I want you to

drive us to the airport and help me out. I don’t want to go back with him.”

Jase frowned. “There’s nothing I can do,” he said. “He’s your life partner, and it’s none

of my business. I’m just a friend.”

“He’s not my partner,” Luis said. There was a desperate tone in his voice, almost

pleading. “I made that clear when I left him the note. I gave him back the keys to the car, I left

all the clothes he bought me, and I left his house with nothing. I came to New York with nothing

but the clothes on my back.”

“I don’t know,” Jase said. “This is between you and the good doctor.”

Luis went down on one knee and reached for Jase’s arm with both hands. “Please, please

help me. If you’re there it will be easier.”

“I have to get dressed,” Jase said.

Luis stood up and smiled. “I’ll meet you downstairs on the sidewalk in fifteen minutes.”

* * * *

When Jase had agreed to drive them to the airport, he thought he was going to Newark or

LaGuardia. He had no idea they’d be driving to Teterboro airport in New Jersey, where Dr.

Barton’s small private plane was waiting and ready to head back to Tennessee. On the way, he

learned Dr. Barton had his own plane and his own license to fly. This part of New Jersey,

however, was totally unfamiliar territory to Jase. And though he tried to be extra careful, he

couldn’t help hitting a few cones in a construction zone and riding up the median once when he

changed lanes.

By the time they arrived at the airport, Dr. Barton’s face was the color of dishwater. The

poor guy crawled out of Jase’s backseat and wobbled all the way to the main building. Jase

offered to carry his bags, but Dr. Barton insisted on doing it alone. The first place he went was

the restroom. When he came out, his face was damp and red and his hairline was soaking wet.

“Everything okay?” Jase asked. He pictured him in the restroom splashing water on his

face.

“I’m good,” Dr. Barton said. He was far too polite to mention Jase’s awful driving skills.

“I’m just going to check to make sure Freddie and I are ready to take off. I’m on stand-by. I

called and arranged everything from Freddie’s apartment before we left. And the airport isn’t

busy right now.”

Luis gave Jase a look. Then he shoved his hands into his pockets and stared down at his

shoes as Dr. Barton walked over to a long desk with a Formica countertop.

When it was time for them to leave, Dr. Barton waved at them from the entrance. Luis

tugged on Jase’s arm and said, “Please come with me. When I tell him I’m not going back with

him, I don’t know how he’s going to react. He thinks I’ve lost my mind. I hate confrontation.”

“Ah well,” Jase said. “This is none of my business.” He didn’t feel comfortable getting in

the middle of someone else’s relationship. He wouldn’t have been smiling if a total stranger had

tried to wedge their way into his personal life this way.

“Please come,” Luis said.

Jase saw the frightened expression on Luis’s face and he couldn’t say no. Luis’s lips were

trembling and his green eyes were wide and clear. Jase didn’t say anything. He just nodded and

followed Luis over to where Dr. Barton was waiting.

“I’ll get the bags, Freddie,” Dr. Barton said. “We’re all set to take off.”

Luis reached out and grabbed Dr. Barton’s arm. “Ken, I’m not going with you,” he said.

“I can’t go with you. I’m not Freddie Bowles anymore. I’m not the same person I was when you

first met me. I’m not afraid anymore. I’m stronger now.”

When Jase saw the dejected look on Dr. Barton’s face, his stomach turned. “I’m going to

wait over there,” he said. “I’m intruding now.”

“No,” Dr. Barton said. “You don’t have to leave. There’s nothing I can’t say to Freddie

that you can’t hear.” Then he reached out and held both of Luis’s arms. “I love you, Freddie.

Come home where you belong and forget about all this nonsense. I need you.”

“I’m sorry,” Luis said. “I wish you didn’t love me. You’re a wonderful man, and you’ve

been wonderful to me. I’ll always be grateful. If I went with you, it wouldn’t be fair to you. I’m

not the type to settle down with anyone and we’d both wind up unhappy. I’m so sorry, Ken.

Tennessee isn’t home anymore. Maybe my life is nonsense. But it’s what I chose, not what

someone else chose for me.”

Dr. Barton’s entire face tightened. His bottom lip began to quiver and he seemed to have

trouble speaking. When he regained his composure, he spoke fast. “I didn’t mention anything

about your uncle, Freddie.”

Luis’s eyes opened wider. “What’s wrong? Is there something wrong with him?”

“His T-cell count has been coming back low,” Dr. Barton said. “He’s due for new HIV

meds and if you don’t come back with me I’m not sure I can get them for him.”

Luis stepped back and frowned. “Then I’ll bring him here to New York and I’ll get him

his meds no matter what it takes. I’ll steal them if I have to. You can’t force me to come back

like this. You can’t use my uncle to get me to come back.”

Jase turned away. When they stared talking about Luis’s uncle and his medications, and

Jase saw the desperate look in Dr. Barton’s eyes, he wanted to put his arm on Dr. Barton’s back

and console him. He knew Luis wasn’t going back no matter what Dr. Barton said. And though

part of Jase didn’t want Luis to go back to Tennessee, there was still another part of him that

didn’t quite understand why Luis wasn’t going back. If Luis went with Dr. Barton, Luis wouldn’t

have to worry about a thing. Dr. Barton was a wealthy man, and he’d give Luis anything he

wanted. Luis would never have to worry about anything again. In life, chances like this didn’t

happen very often and Jase couldn’t help wondering why Luis was turning his back on this one.

After all, Luis’s life in New York wasn’t exactly wonderful. He spent his days and nights

escorting older men and selling his used sweat socks to shifty New York real estate agents so he

could pay the rent for his dowdy walkup apartment on the Upper West Side.

“You can’t take care of him,” Dr. Barton said. “You can barely take care of yourself,

Freddie. Can’t you see this?”

Luis leaned into Dr. Barton and hugged him hard. “Don’t call me Freddie anymore. I’m

not Freddie. Freddie’s dead.” His voice was stronger and there were tears streaming down his

face. “This isn’t easy for me. I know you and I do love you. I know you’re a good man. Much

too good for me. Please don’t make this any harder than it is.”

Dr. Barton’s face softened and his eyes filled with tears. He lifted his arms, put them

around Luis, and hesitated for a moment. When he finally found his words, his voice was soft

and slow. “I won’t push you anymore,” he said.

Then he kissed the top of Luis’s head and stepped back. He wiped his eyes and squared

his shoulders. On his way out, he stopped and shook Jase’s hand. “Watch out for him,” he said.

Jase smiled and shook his hand. “I will.”

“He needs to eat something,” Dr. Barton said. “He looks like he’s starving to death.”

Before Dr. Barton walked out to his plane, Luis ran up behind him and tapped his

shoulder. “You take care of yourself, Ken. Please don’t be mad at me. I’m not the same kid you

met in that nightclub. I’m not Freddie. It wouldn’t be the same.”

Jase wasn’t far away. He waited to see how Dr. Barton would react. At first, his face

remained pinched and tight. But a moment later, he reached down for Luis’s hand and he smiled.

He looked into Luis’s eyes, squeezed his hand, and kissed him on the cheek. “Take care,” he said,

as if he knew he wouldn’t see Freddie Bowles for a long time.

After that, Luis and Jase stood there and waited for Dr. Barton’s plane to take off. Luis

stared at the plane taxiing down the runway. Jase put his hand on Luis’s shoulder and didn’t say

a word. When the plane was in the air, Luis lifted his chin and wiped a tear from his eye.

Jase put his arm around him. “Are you okay?”

“I feel as if I just said goodbye to the only real life I ever knew,” he said. “And I’ve never

felt so alone.” He sniffed back and wiped his eyes again.

Jase hesitated for a second, then asked, “Why didn’t you go back with him? He loves

you.”

“That’s the problem,” Luis said. “I’d rather he didn’t love me so much. Then it would be

easier to go back to him. He’s too good for me.”

“I’m not sure I agree with you,” Jase said.

“Will you take me out tonight?”

Jase shrugged. “Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere they serve alcohol. I never drink much. But tonight I’m going to get so drunk

you might have to carry me home.”

“I think I can manage that,” Jase said. After all, he’d promised Dr. Barton he’d watch out

for Luis. And though all this had been difficult for Luis, now that Jase knew Luis wasn’t going

back with Dr. Barton, his stomach wasn’t tied up in knots and the heavy feeling he’d been

experiencing all afternoon had lifted and disappeared. In its place emerged a lighter, hopeful

feeling.

Chapter Nine

On the way back, they took the Holland Tunnel into the city so Jase could take Luis to a

downtown bar he’d noticed the day he’d gone to lunch with Derrick and his friend from

Brooklyn. Jase couldn’t remember the name of the bar, but he remembered where it was, and he

remembered an outdoor parking lot across the street. Finding a place to park a huge pickup truck

in Manhattan wasn’t always easy. And he didn’t feel like driving all the way back to the Upper

West Side to drop the car off and take a cab back downtown.

Luis was still frowning over what had happened with Dr. Barton. If anyone ever needed a

good strong drink, it was Luis. He just sat there staring down at his lap, pouting all the way back

to Manhattan, without saying a word.

When Jase pulled into the parking lot, Luis sat up and looked around. “I’ve never been to

any of the bars down here in the Bowery. I didn’t even know there were any.” He pressed his

finger to his chin and looked around as if Jase had lost his mind.

Jase drove up to the parking lot attendant and opened his door. He shrugged his shoulders

and said, “I saw this little out-of-the-way bar when we went to lunch with Derrick. It looked like

an interesting place, so I figured we’d try it out.”

Luis removed his seatbelt and opened his door. “I’m game for anything that will take my

mind off what happened today.”

After the parking lot attendant handed Jase a stub, they crossed the street and walked to

the entrance of a small, hidden bar. It was wedged between a bodega and a dry cleaner, with a

black sign over the door that read, “Jockey Stops Here,” in bold white print. To the left of the

entrance there was a poster with a group of young guys dancing around in their underwear. To

the right, there was a poster with sketches of underwear. The sketches included everything from

jock straps to baggy boxer shorts with little red hearts.

Jase opened the door for Luis and stepped to the side so Luis could enter first. Before

Luis went into the dark reception area, he gave Jase a look that was a cross between

apprehension and curiosity.

Jase followed him in, where they were greeted by a tall young man with long brown hair

pulled back into a ponytail. The young man wasn’t wearing clothes, just a white T-shirt and

orange boxer briefs. Jase figured he’d been paid to walk around in his underwear.

The guy smiled and asked, “Would you like to share a locker, or would you like separate

lockers?”

Jase and Luis looked at each other and shrugged.

“Why do we need lockers?” Luis asked.

The guy rolled his eyes and gestured toward the main section of the bar. “This is an

underwear-only bar,” he said. “You can’t come in unless you check your clothes first.”

When Jase looked to where the guy was pointing, his eyebrows rose. No wonder Luis had

never heard of this bar. Though it was dark, he saw that all the men in the bar weren’t wearing

anything but underwear.

“Tonight’s the amateur dancing contest,” the guy said. “The show starts in a couple of

hours. We have professional strippers on the bar all night long.”

Jase said, “Excuse me for a second,” to the young man and he pulled Luis to the side. “I

don’t know about this,” he said. “I’ve never been to a bar where the people only wear

underwear.”

Luis shrugged. “I’m game,” he said. “I’ve never been to a place like this either. It might

be fun. Besides, I don’t feel like going anywhere else. We’re here now, the truck is parked, and

we may as well stay. We can share a locker.”

Jase leaned forward and whispered. “But I’m not wearing boxers tonight. I’m wearing

black briefs with white trim.” If he’d been wearing boxers, he wouldn’t have been so cautious.

Luis smiled and patted his chest. “Don’t worry,” he said. “If anyone tries anything with

you, I’ll beat them up.”

Jase reluctantly agreed, and they paid the young guy a cover charge and he handed them

a key to a locker. He pointed to room on the right and said, “The lockers are in there. You’re

number twenty-seven. You can leave your things in there and then you can enter the bar from the

back so you don’t have to come up front again until it’s time to leave.”

While they undressed in the small locker room—really, a large closet—Jase watched

Luis remove his jeans. He was wearing a skimpy pair of red boxer briefs with legs cut so short

they were almost regular briefs. His genitals protruded from his crotch and his ass rounded from

the natural arch at the small of his back. Luis had the kind of ass Jase wanted to play with. He

could have spent hours just squeezing it and biting it. This, however, caused Jase to sigh, because

he figured the other guys in the bar would feel the same way when they saw Luis in the red

underwear.

When Luis removed his shirt, Jase smiled and exhaled. Luis had been wearing a white T-

shirt beneath his shirt and Jase was happy to see that Luis wouldn’t be entering the bar bare-

chested. Jase knew the red boxer briefs were going to turn more than a few heads inside the bar.

If Luis hadn’t been wearing a white T-shirt, he would have offered Luis his black shirt and gone

bare-chested himself.

Though his black shirt wasn’t actually an underwear shirt, Jase didn’t think anyone would

mind. He hung up his leather jacket first, then slowly removed his pants, wondering whether or

not he was too old for this sort of thing. At forty, he never thought he’d find himself about to

enter a bar where the patrons wore nothing but their underwear. The entire concept was too

happy-go-lucky and too sophisticated for Jase’s taste. If anyone he knew from his real life had

seen him doing this, they either would have dropped dead from shock or laughter. His ex-wife

would have laughed and the people he worked with would have stood there with their mouths

hanging open.

“Should I remove my shoes, too?” Jase asked. “Or do we just go in there in our stocking

feet?” He was wearing brown work boots that night and he wasn’t sure how well they would

look with black underwear. Sherman had warned him about how discriminating gay men could

be when it came to fashion and he didn’t want anyone pointing any fingers at him.

Luis was wearing black quarter boots with a two-inch heel. He smiled and said. “I’m

wearing mine and I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks. I don’t like walking around places

like this without shoes. You never know what you can pick up. Besides, these guys won’t be

looking at our shoes.”

“I’ll wear mine, too, then,” Jase said. He’d been so worried about undressing he hadn’t

thought about the potential health hazards.

When their clothes were in the locker and Luis was ready to shut the door, he took the

key to the locker from Jase and slipped it into his boot.

Jase stood there, with his arms at his sides and his legs spread apart. “Do I look okay?” he

asked. He felt ridiculous. He couldn’t believe he was actually doing something like this. And he

was still kicking himself for not wearing boxers.

Luis reached for his hand and said, “You look fine, trust me. I’m just worried that you’re

going to cause too much attention. You’re going to drive those boys wild in there.”

“I’m more worried about what they are going to do when they see you in those red boxer

briefs,” Jase said. He couldn’t stop looking down as Luis’s ass.

“Then we stick together tonight,” Luis said. “No matter what happens, we both leave at

the same time and we don’t let anyone come between us.”

Jase smiled. “I have no intention of letting anyone come between us tonight. I told Dr.

Barton I’d watch out for you, and I’m going to keep my promise.”

When they walked into the dark club hand in hand, heads turned and the other guys

watched them cross to the bar. From the corner of his eye, Jase saw three middle-aged,

overweight guys in boxer shorts and T-shirts. They stared at Luis and murmured things to each

other with wide grins on their faces. Near the bar, when Jase and Luis had to walk between a

group of college age guys who were wearing white boxer briefs, one of the guys purposely

lowered his hand so he could touch Jase’s ass. The guy was tall and thin and he was wearing

round eyeglasses. When his palm touched Jase’s ass, Luis reached down, smiled at him, and said,

“You can look, sweetie, but you can’t touch. He’s with me tonight.”

Jase blinked. He’d never seen the possessive side of Luis. He’d only seen the quiet,

vulnerable side and the carefree, nonchalant side.

The guy in the glasses pressed his lips together and gave Luis a nasty look. Then he

poked one of his friends in the ribs, put his hand on his hip, and said, “It’s a free country, honey,

in case you haven’t noticed.”

While his friends laughed, Luis looked him up and down. “Not tonight it isn’t,” Luis said.

“So keep your hands to yourself, Mary.” Then he pulled Jase by the hand to a couple of empty

barstools, where there was a professional male stripper dancing on top of the bar.

When they were seated, Jase laughed and said, “I like the way you handled that guy back

there. You were great.” Jase was usually the one in control and he was always the one protecting

other people. He’d been the boss for so long he’d forgotten what it was like to just sit back and

let someone else take control. No one had ever done anything like this for him before.

“You’re with me tonight,” Luis said. “I was holding your hand and he had no right to

touch you that way. And if he tries it again I’m going to sock him in the jaw.” He made a fist and

shook it. “Now please order me a drink. It’s been a long day and I want to get good and drunk.”

Jase smiled and pulled some cash out of his sock. He ordered two drinks and looked up to

watch the male stripper. He’d never seen a male stripper in person before and this guy was

adorable. He wasn’t big and brawny like the strippers he’d seen in TV. This one was cute and

compact, with sweet round lips and adorable little feet. And when the stripper saw Jase staring at

him, he purposely wiggled his ass in Jase’s face more than once. However, two hours later, after

watching several other young guys strip down to nothing, the initial excitement wore off. It

became nothing more than a young guy bouncing around waving his ass back and forth. Luis

didn’t even notice the strippers. He just sat there all night, slumped over the bar, sipping one

drink after the other.

By the time Luis was on his fifth drink, the bartender announced the amateur dancing

contest. Luis perked up and pressed his back against the bar stool. “Let’s do this,” he said. “I’ve

never danced in front of anyone before in my underwear. I’d never do it alone, but I feel safe

doing it with you.”

Jase’s chin went in and his back arched. “Ah well,” he said. “I’m not much of a dancer.

And you’re drunk.” He was just getting used to the fact that he was sitting in a bar in his

underwear.

“You don’t have to be a great dancer,” Luis said. “All you have to do is look hot and

jump around in front of the other guys. I’d never do anything like this if I wasn’t drunk.” Then

he tapped the bartender on the shoulder and whispered something into his ear.

Before Jase knew what was even happening, Luis stood up and dragged Jase to a set of

steps that led to the top of the bar where the strippers had been dancing. Then he pulled Jase to

the middle of the bar, directly in front of the guy with the round glasses who had groped Jase’s

ass earlier, and started rocking his hips to the beat of the music. He held Jase’s hands and tossed

his head around in circles. He turned around and backed into Jase’s dick while the guys below

them shouted and screamed for more.

At first, Jase just stood there, moving his feet back and forth as if he were doing the two

step. But when the guys below him started to whistle, he looked down at Luis and followed

Luis’s moves. When Luis backed in to him, he bucked forward and banged into Luis’s ass. When

Luis turned and wrapped his arms around Jase’s shoulders, Jase reached down and placed his

hands on Luis’s ass. It didn’t take long for him to become erect. His dick was pointed up to the

right and ready to burst from the waistband of his briefs. Jase wondered if this was even legal.

He noticed that Luis had an erection, too. He couldn’t miss it through the sheer red fabric of his

briefs. But no one in the bar made a move to stop them, so he continued banging into Luis’s ass.

Even the bartender seemed to enjoy watching them. He turned his back to his customers,

folded his arms cross his chest, and whistled at the way Luis was grinding his hips into Jase’s

dick. A few minutes after that, a couple of guys holding bottles of beer shouted, “Take it all off,”

and Luis pulled off his T-shirt. He just dropped it on the stage and reached for Jase’s hands. Then

he leaned into Jase’s neck and said, “Pull down my underpants.”

Jase’s eyes grew wide. “Can we do that?”

“We can do anything we want until someone tells us we can’t,” Luis said.

Under any other circumstances, he would have pulled Luis off the stage and taken him

home. But for some reason he couldn’t explain, he was just as caught up in the moment as Luis

was. He’d done a more than a few risky things in his life, but never anything like this. So he

reached down and slipped his hands into Luis’s pants, and then he pulled them all the way down

to Luis’s ankles.

When Luis was naked, he kicked off his briefs and stretched his arms all the up in the air.

His erection stood straight and his back arched. By this time, the guys below them were

pounding their fists on the bar, begging Jase to remove his underwear, too. So Luis turned and

reached for the waistband of Jase’s black briefs. He yanked them down Jase’s legs so fast Jase’s

dick jerked and hit Luis on the cheek. After that, Luis went down on his knees, right on the stage,

and pulled the briefs off Jase’s feet. While Luis rubbed the side of his face against Jase’s hairy

thighs, Jase pulled off his black shirt and threw it back over his shoulder. It landed on some

guy’s shoulder. The guy lifted it high in the air and waved it back and forth with a grin on his

face.

Jase closed his eyes and rocked his hips in circles. They were both fully erect by then and

Luis was holding Jase’s dick in the palm of his right hand. When one guy at the bar shouted,

“Suck him off, baby,” Luis stood up and wrapped his arms around Jase’s shoulders. He pressed

his body up against Jase’s body and whispered into Jase’s ear. “The room is starting to spin. Can

we leave now? I don’t want to have sex in front of all these men. The show is over.”

Jase rubbed the small of his naked back and kissed him on the cheek. “Of course we can

leave.” He was glad Luis had said something first, because Jase had no intention of having sex in

front of a large group of men. He’d already done enough in one night to send him straight to hell.

“I’m not sure how I’m going to get off the stage, though,” Luis said. “I think I’ve had a

little too much to drink. I might have to hold on to your dick all the way home.” Then he

hiccupped and rested his head against Jase’s chest.

Jase had an idea. “Just wrap your legs around my waist and I’ll carry you off.”

“What about our underwear?” Luis asked. His voice was so slurred his words ran

together.

“Let’s just leave it here,” Jase said. “We don’t need it.”

Luis nodded yes and lifted his right leg. He braced himself by holding on to Jase’s neck,

then jumped up so he could wrap both legs around Jase’s waist. When he did this, and his legs

were spread as wide as they would go, the guys below them went wild. Three of them pounded

the bar, and one reached up and tried to put his hand on Luis’s ass. Another guy was begging

Jase to fuck Luis right there on the stage. “Just bend him over and give it to him hard,” the guy

shouted. “Fuck his brains out, man.”

But Jase wasn’t paying attention to them anymore. His only concern was to get Luis off

the stage and back to the locker room safely. So he reached down and placed both hands on

Luis’s ass to support him. Luis was much lighter than Jase had imagined he would be, and when

Luis rested his cheek on Jase’s shoulder and curled up against Jase’s body, Jase didn’t even

break a sweat. It was nothing to carry him off the stage and back into the locker room so they

could get dressed and go home.

* * * *

They put on their clothes and made it back to the truck without any problems. But on the

way back home, Jase had to pull over twice so Luis could throw up. Jase tried hard to drive

slowly to avoid bouncing around. Everything would have been fine if an older man carrying a

duffel bag hadn’t decided to cross the street in midtown without looking both ways. Jase had to

stop short and pull to the right, and the truck jumped the curb and he wound up halfway on the

sidewalk. A block later, Luis made him pull over so he could open the door and throw up. The

second time they pulled over was while they were driving through the park. Jase misjudged a

curve and the back of the truck fishtailed. By the time Jase righted the truck, Luis was begging

him to pull over again.

When they finally reached Jase’s parking garage, Luis wasn’t dizzy anymore and the

world wasn’t spinning in circles. Throwing up had helped sober him. He only staggered slightly

when they walked back to their building. When they both realized they’d forgotten their keys to

the front door, Luis pushed Mr. Gordon’s button and Mr. Gordon buzzed them into the building.

Inside, Luis started to ramble with a slurred voice and he couldn’t seem to navigate the stairs

safely. So Jase picked him hip, tossed him over his shoulder, and carried him up all five flights.

On the fourth flight, Mr. Gordon leaned over the railing and screamed at them. “I’m

going to call the police this time. I’m never going to get any sleep in this place. Why can’t you

people remember you keys?”

Luis looked up and shook his fist slowly and awkwardly. “Stop shouting, Mr. Gordon,

you’re going to wake up the entire block.”

Jase looked up and waved at the old man, signaling that everything was okay. Mr.

Gordon looked down at him and frowned. Then he shook his head and walked back into his

apartment.

As usual, Luis had left his apartment door open. When they were inside, Jase put him

down and he stumbled into the kitchen to check the dog. “I have to walk him,” Luis said. “He

hasn’t been out since we left for the airport.”

“I’ll take him out,” Jase said. “You’re in no condition to go back outside.”

“There’s absolutely nothing significantly wrong with me,” Luis said. His voice was still

slurred and his eyes were still glossy.

Jase picked the dog up and walked back to the door. “I’ll be right back,” he said.

It didn’t take long. The minute Jase put the dog down on the sidewalk, he went to the

nearest tree, lifted his leg, and relieved himself. Jase waited a few minutes to see if the dog had

to do anything else, then scooped him up and brought him back to Luis’s apartment. Luis was

standing on the kitchen counter by then, rummaging around a shelf above the cabinets for

something.

Jase put the dog down and walked up behind him. He put his hands on Jase’s hips and

said, “You’re going to kill yourself up there. Come on down now.”

“I want a drink,” Luis said. He pulled a bottle of vodka down that couldn’t have had more

than an ounce at the bottom.

Jase helped him down and said, “You’ve had enough tonight. You need to go to bed.”

Luis frowned and jerked away. “I want another drink,” he said, and then he opened the

bottle and gulped down the few remaining drops.

When he was finished, he looked up at Jase and said, “I’m finished with looking for Mr.

Right. I’m going to take Derrick up on his offer.”

“What offer?”

Luis lowered his head and leaned forward as if he were about to tell Jase a deep national

secret. “Derrick has asked me to move in with him. He wants me to be his life partner and I’m

going to accept the offer.”

Jase ran his hand down the back of his head and looked down at his shoes. Though

Derrick was a nice guy and he’d enjoyed spending time with him, the man was old enough to be

Luis’s grandfather.

“What’s wrong?” Luis asked. “Don’t you approve?”

Jase’s entire body tightened. “It’s none of my business,” he said. His voice was flat and

even. He showed no emotion whatsoever. In fact, he didn’t approve. But Luis was too drunk to

know what he was saying or doing and he didn’t want to discuss anything important until Luis

was sober.

“Don’t look at me that way,” Luis said. “Don’t judge me. Derrick is a wonderful man.

He’s one of the wealthiest real estate agents in Manhattan. He has millions. I’m tired of waiting

for Mr. Right. I want money this time. I want lots of money. By this time next month, I’ll be

living with Derrick. We’ll be one of the most important gay power couples in town.”

“I’m not judging you,” Jase said. He wasn’t taking anything he said seriously.

“Do you have anything to drink in your place?” Luis asked. “I want another drink.”

“You’ve had enough,” Jase said. “Let’s get you into bed now.”

“I can pay you for it,” Luis said. “I have money. I don’t want a man who disapproves of

me buying me drinks.” He walked into the living room and crouched down on the floor. He

pulled a small metal box out from under the loveseat. When he opened it, he pulled out a wad of

cash and found a twenty-dollar bill. He tossed the cash back into the box and handed the twenty

to Jase. “Here,” he said. “Take this.” He waved it up and down. “I won’t take drinks from guys

who don’t approve of me, especially guys like you who are being kept by younger men. You

should be used to taking money from younger guys like me.” Then he dropped the twenty

between Jase’s feet and yawned.

Jase frowned. Though he wasn’t being kept by anyone, and he had more money than he’d

ever know what to do with in his lifetime, Luis’s comment stung him harder than anything

anyone had ever said to him. Luis had no idea why Sherman left him money and he shouldn’t

have jumped to conclusions. And the fact that Luis would judge him this way and call him a kept

man made him clench his fists.

He looked down at the twenty dollars between his feet and scowled. “You shouldn’t

throw your money around that way,” he said. “Selling your filthy underwear to dirty old men

isn’t going to keep you going forever. You’re going to get older just like all the other young rent

boys before you and then no one will want your underwear anymore.”

Luis lifted his head and tried to straighten his shoulders. “I’m not a rent boy and you

know it. You’re the rent boy…the middle-aged rent boy.” He pointed to the door and said, “Get

out.”

Jase stood for a moment and looked down at him. He looked into his wide green eyes and

waited for him to speak again. When he didn’t, Jase turned and crossed to the door. On his way

out, he looked back again. Luis was still on his knees and he was still watching him. For a

moment, Jase thought he was about to apologize. But then his face tightened and he turned his

head toward the window. So Jase closed the door and went to his own apartment without looking

back once.

Chapter Ten

After the tenth knock, Luis crawled out of bed, grabbed his short white bathrobe, and

stumbled to his front door. According to the small poodle clock in the table next to the front door,

it was a few minutes before seven. The last time he’d been awake at seven in the morning he’d

just come home from an all-night party. He didn’t bother to put on the bathrobe. He covered the

front of his naked body and cracked the door open a few inches.

“Good morning,” Jase said. He was smiling and dressed for the day. He held a large cup

of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. “I brought coffee.”

“Good morning,” Luis said. Though he hadn’t spoken to Jase since the night they’d gone

out to the underwear club in the Bowery, he smiled before he even knew he was doing it.

“I heard some good news this morning,” Jase said, “and I wanted to stop by and make up

for the other night. Can I come in?” He looked directly into Luis’s eyes and didn’t seem to care

about the fact that Luis wasn’t wearing any clothes.

“Sure,” Luis said. He opened the door a little more. “Close your eyes while I put on my

robe. I’m not decent.”

“I promise I won’t look,” Jase said. He lifted the newspaper to cover his eyes.

“Oh, screw it,” Luis said. He turned his naked back to Jase and slipped his arms through

the robe. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before. Who am I fooling?”

Jase followed him into the apartment and closed the door. Luis’s dog was on the floor

beside the loveseat. When he saw Jase, it lifted its head and bolted across the room to greet him.

It was a cross between a scoot and a trot; the long hair on his head bounced all over and his tail

was wagging so fast his hindquarters were moving. Jase bent down and patted the top of his head

a couple of times. The dog responded by licking the back of his hand.

Luis laughed. “He certainly does like you. I can’t get him out of bed before ten to go

outside for a walk. He’s not very animated and there are times when I think he’s just plain

obtuse.” For some reason, the word obtuse kept popping into his head that week. But that’s how

it was with certain words. He’d hear them, use them until he couldn’t stand listening to them

anymore, then stop. He wouldn’t use them again until they started popping into his head.

“I think he’s very bright,” Jase said. “I think you’re very bright, too.”

Luis rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to compliment my brain,” he said. “I’m not mad at

you anymore.”

Jase stood up and followed Luis into the kitchen. He placed a large container of coffee on

the counter and said, “It’s for you. I’ve already had mine.”

Luis tightened the thin string on his robe and took a few sips. He closed his eyes and

inhaled the aroma. “This is heaven. You really are a prince, you know.”

“Have you seen the paper yet?” Jase asked and frowned. But he was speaking faster than

he usually did, as if he couldn’t wait to tell Luis this news. “There’s an article on the second page

about your friend, Derrick.”

Luis took another sip of coffee and smiled. “I know all about it,” he said. “It seems

Derrick isn’t as nice a guy as I thought he was. Oh, he’s charming to be around and he knows

how to make great conversation. But as it turns out, he’s just like all the others: a big piece of

shit.” Luis was still smiling. He wanted Jase to know he wasn’t the least bit surprised by what

Derrick had done and, more importantly, that it didn’t bother him at all.

Jase placed the newspaper down on the counter and opened it to the second page. He

pointed to a small article and said, “Did you know good old Derrick was even thinking about

getting married?”

“Not until yesterday,” Luis said. “A friend of mine called and told me. I learned a few

more things I didn’t know, too.” His voice was light and carefree; the coffee was waking him up.

At first, when he’d heard Derrick was getting married, he’d been furious. Derrick didn’t even

have the decency to call and tell him himself. But the feeling didn’t last for long. If there was one

thing Luis knew, it was that there were plenty of older guys like Derrick out there. The problem

was most of them were liars and they couldn’t be trusted.

“What sort of things?”

“As it turns out, old Derrick has to get married,” Luis said. “The woman he’s going to

marry is a very wealthy older woman and she needs a companion. They’ll be the perfect couple.

Derrick hasn’t been doing as well in real estate as everyone thinks…or as he leads them to

believe. With the state of the real estate market these days, he’s lost almost everything. His Park

Avenue house is about to go into foreclosure and he’s in a great deal of debt. I’ve even heard

some rumors he’s been doing a few illegal things, but I’m not sure I believe them. He’s a jerk,

but he’s not a crook.”

“How could that happen?” Jase asked. “How could he pretend to be doing so well when

he isn’t? I don’t get it.”

“New York is filled with people who are pretending to be something they aren’t,” Luis

said. “It’s all show. From the way I hear it, Derrick kept paying huge sums of money to advertise

his real estate listings. He paid thousands for an ad in Architectural Digest he couldn’t afford,

hoping it would generate business. He was paying two full-time assistants more than fifty

thousand a year each even though business was so slow he didn’t even need them. He only kept

them for the sake of appearances. And he was taking out loans all over town to do this. He

figured that when the real estate market turned around he’d be able to pay everything back. Only

he didn’t count on the economy being this bad and lasting this long. It’s all been a façade.” Then

he sighed and lifted his cup of coffee. “They say he owes more than two million dollars. Can you

imagine that much money? Owing more than two million dollars?”

Jase leaned into the door and shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve never owed anyone anything

in my life.”

Luis filled a bowl with dry dog food and put it on the floor. Then he looked up at Jase

and smiled. “I’d marry you today for your money, Jase. Would you marry me for mine?”

Jase stared into his eyes, without flinching at all. “I’d do it right now.”

Luis’s mouth dropped open. Jase’s voice was low and even and it felt like Jase was

staring into his soul. Luis had never been this comfortable with another man. He was usually

trying to figure out what they wanted from him. So he walked over to Jase and kissed him on the

cheek. “Too bad neither one of us has any money. But I’m so glad you knocked on the door this

morning. If you hadn’t, I would have knocked on your door eventually.”

“You would have?” Jase asked.

“Of course I would have. I’ve missed you and I didn’t want to stay mad. You’re the best

friend I’ve ever had. To be honest, I can’t stay mad at you. You’re a very likeable guy, in case

you haven’t noticed.”

Luis picked up the coffee and walked into the living room. He sat down on the loveseat

and Jase sat on a large wooden crate that was serving as a makeshift coffee table across from him.

“You told me you had news,” Luis said. “I hope it’s good news. I hate hearing bad news

even when it isn’t my bad news.”

“It’s good,” Jase said. He closed his legs so the dog could jump up on his lap. “I just

heard this morning that my new idea for the cheese smoker is getting good feedback. It looks like

someone is interested in producing it. These people think there’s a market for this sort of thing,

especially now that so many people are into cooking and preparing their own unique foods.”

“That’s wonderful,” Luis said. “I’m thrilled for you.” He sat up and kissed Jase on the

cheek. As he did so, his robe opened slightly and exposed his naked torso. He adjusted it and

pulled the string, hoping Jase wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Though Jase was probably the best

looking man he’d met in a long time, he wasn’t interested in having casual sex at that moment.

Unlike most of the gay men he knew, Luis had to be in the mood. If he wasn’t, nothing happened.

Jase continued to stare at his face, not even bothering to notice the robe had opened. “The

funny thing is,” he said, “I couldn’t wait to tell you when I heard the news. I know that sounds

silly. But when I heard the news, I wanted you to be the first one to know.”

“That’s not silly at all,” Luis said. “I think it’s very nice, in fact.” Then he took a sip of

coffee and lifted his right eyebrow. “Have you told your friend Charmin about this? He might

not be as happy as I am. He seems very possessive. When he looks at you, I always have this

feeling he’s trying to figure out a way to hook an invisible leash to that invisible collar he has

around your neck.” Luis knew the guy’s name was Sherman. But he didn’t like him and he

refused to pronounce his name correctly.

Jase laughed. “His name is Sherman, not Charmin, and you know it. Charmin is toilet

paper.”

Luis shrugged his shoulders and grinned.

“And no, I haven’t told him,” Jase said. “It’s really none of his business. This is

something I’ve been working on for a long time…in spite of the fact that everyone else thinks

it’s a complete waste of time.”

“I’m sure you’re going to make millions with this invention,” Luis said. “And you’re

much too smart to waste your time on anything.”

“No, you don’t,” Jase said. “You’re just being polite.”

“Not true,” Luis said. “Though I’m a realistic, hardcore cynic at heart, I still believe in

miracles. It’s like this: I don’t actually believe that rainbows bring good luck, but I do believe

there’s a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. Does that make sense?”

Jase laughed and rubbed his jaw. “Yes, it does. I’ve never actually thought of it that way,

but it makes perfect sense. At least it does to me, anyway.” He hesitated for a second. “Why

don’t we go out today and celebrate my good news? We can spend the entire day together.”

Luis stood. “Sounds like fun. I have a bottle of Asti Spumonte in the refrigerator I’ve

been saving for a special occasion. You go into the kitchen and open it while I get dressed.”

“Asti Spumonte?”

“Yes,” Luis said, while he walked to the bedroom. “I don’t like champagne. When I drink

it, it makes me much too honest. I tell everyone everything.”

“Honest?”

“Ah well,” Luis said. He was in the bedroom now, shouting over his shoulder. “I never

know what I’m going to say after a glass of champagne. I can’t be trusted.”

Luis heard Jase open the bottle. He put on a white shirt and ran back into the kitchen. “I

have an idea. We can spend the day doing things we both love. We’ll do something I love first,

then we’ll do something you love. They have to be things that make us both feel wonderful when

we’re really feeling as far down as we can get.”

Jase reached up, opened one of the cabinets, and pulled out a couple of coffee mugs.

“Sounds good to me. And I know exactly what I’m going to do.”

* * * *

After they shared a toast to Jase’s cheese smoker, they went downstairs and walked up

to the avenue. Luis hailed a cab and told the driver to take him downtown to one of his favorite

places in the city. Jase offered to drive. Luis thanked him and patted his sleeve. Luis said he’d

rather take a cab because it would be too hard to park downtown, and if they wanted to do

something else afterwards, the big truck would only get in the way. This time Luis was being

polite so he wouldn’t hurt Jase’s feelings. The thought of getting into the truck with Jase made

his knees wobble. It’s a good thing he’d had Spumonte that morning instead of champagne. If

he’d had champagne he probably would have told Jase the truth about his driving and hurt his

feelings.

The driver pulled over at a busy street corner in NoHo. Jase offered to pay, but Luis

pulled cash out of his back pocket and handed it to the driver before Jase even had a chance to

get his money. After that, they walked across the street to an Internet café that wasn’t very

crowded yet.

When they entered, Luis walked directly to the largest computer screen in the café. It was

in the back of the room, surrounded by funky-looking overstuffed arm chairs and tables made out

of distressed wood. There were two armchairs in front of the large computer screen. They both

had tufted velvet cushions, one green and the other orange.

“This is your favorite place?” Jase asked. He looked around the café and rubbed his jaw.

“It seems kind of ordinary. I thought you’d take me someplace peculiar, like a secret Zen garden

in the middle of the city where you sit and chant.”

Luis laughed. “I’m not really like that,” he said. “I’m much more practical than people

think I am. I love this place because it’s so mundane.” Mundane was another word that seemed

to be popping into his head all the time.

“But you already have a laptop and an iPhone,” Jase said. “You don’t have to come here

to use the Internet.”

“It’s where I love to go when I need to feel better and escape from all the peculiar things

in my life,” Luis said. “And my screens are so small. In here, I can read Elena’s blog about gay

men and gay romance for hours on a larger screen, where I can appreciate her blog better. Elena

has a great deal of respect for gay men, without actually saying she does. She shows it—she

doesn’t tell it. Best of all, this place is mostly a college crowd and the guys aren’t out cruising for

sex.” He shrugged his shoulders and laughed. “At least they aren’t cruising for other guys. I’m

sure a lot of them are cruising for women, though.”

Jase smiled. “If you love this place, then so do I.”

“This is a particularly quiet day,” Luis said. “Most colleges are finished for the summer,

and summer classes go all day long. It’s the best time of year to come here.”

Then Luis pointed to the green velvet armchair. “You sit here and I’ll get a couple of

lattes, and then I’ll show you what Elena’s blog is all about. She posts something different every

day.”

He crossed the room and smiled at the guy behind the counter. He called the guy by his

first name, then ordered two café lattes and a couple of English scones. He figured Jase hadn’t

eaten breakfast yet. And for some reason he couldn’t explain, he was absolutely starved.

Normally, Luis never ate anything at all during the day. He skipped breakfast and lunch and ate

light dinners. Though he’d never been obese, he’d always had a good appetite. When he’d

arrived in New York, he’d been a healthy size thirty-four waist. While most people in Tennessee

wouldn’t have considered him fat, it didn’t take long for him to notice that most of the gay men

in New York were extremely underweight. So he stopped eating two meals a day and started

living on salad and chicken for dinner. In no time at all, he was down to a size twenty-nine waist,

his stomach muscles started to show and his cheekbones became more pronounced. But it hadn’t

been easy to starve this way. One night he’d been so hungry he’d eaten a few handfuls of his

dog’s dry kibble just to take the edge off. He had what he considered the gift of love for food. It

was so bad, in fact, that he’d never forgotten a single good meal he’d ever eaten.

When he returned to Jase, he placed the lattes and the food on the table and sat down in

front of the computer screen. He typed the Web address of Elena’s blog in the browser and

clicked the mouse. When the blog appeared, he pressed his hand to his heart and smiled. “This is

one of my favorites,” he said. “Once in a while Elena writes a blog post about nostalgic gay

books…the classics that were written long before I was born. And today she’s written about one

of my all-time favorites. Even though I haven’t read the book, I love it.”

“You haven’t actually read the book?” Jase asked. He was leaning on the table with his

elbows. His head was stretched and he was looking over the entire Web page.

Luis laughed. “I haven’t read most of the books,” he said. “I will someday when there’s

time and I have more money. But right now I just love reading about the books.”

They spent a few hours reading Elena’s entire Web site. Luis showed him a few of his

favorite older blog posts, then showed him some of Elena’s classic male nude photos. When Jase

looked at the photos, he seemed to become uncomfortable. He looked around the room to see if

anyone was watching them, he kept adjusting his position in the chair, and he crossed his legs as

if he were hiding an erection. So Luis didn’t spend too much time on the photos. He spent more

time showing Jase all the posts Elena had written about gay men, gay literature, and gay cinema.

By the time they were ready to leave the café, Luis sat back in his seat and rubbed his

stomach. “I feel so fat,” he said. “I ate the entire scone. I never do that.”

Jase shrugged. “I ate mine. So what? I could probably eat another.”

Luis’s eyes grew wide and he frowned. “I never eat that much during the day. Now I’ll

have to skip dinner and I won’t be able to eat a thing until tomorrow night. My schedule is all

thrown off now.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Jase said. “You’re far from being overweight. If anything, you could

use a few extra pounds. I like a nice big ass. I think it’s sexy.”

“You wouldn’t like it very much if I ate everything I wanted to eat,” Luis said. “You

don’t know how I am. I love food to death. I love it so much I’ll never forget the scone I just ate.

I’ve been known to eat an entire turkey on Thanksgiving Day all by myself. Once I get started, I

have no self control.”

“You look just fine to me,” Jase said.

Luis smiled and changed the subject. He said he wanted to leave a nice message for Elena

on the comment thread of her most recent blog post before they left. Elena wasn’t getting paid to

write these excellent blog posts. She was doing it because she loved doing it, and Luis liked to

compliment her as much as he could so she’d keep her blog going forever. “I know I’m

insignificant,” he said. “But I like to think that she really does care about me.”

After Luis left the comment, Jase stood up and said, “Now it’s time for me to take you

someplace I love.”

“We have to wait,” Luis said. “Elena always replies to my comments and I want to see

what she has to say today.” He knew Jase wouldn’t understand. People who didn’t know

anything about blogging etiquette didn’t know how important it was to maintain a good flow in

the comment thread.

“She might not reply until later,” Jase said. “It’s different time zone in Italy. She might

not be reading the blog right now.”

“Ah well,” Luis said. “Trust me on this, Elena is always reading her blog and she’s

always following the comments people leave for her. It doesn’t matter what time of day I leave a

comment. I know she’ll leave another comment a few minutes later. I don’t know how she does

this, but she’s always on top of everything. It’s uncanny.”

Sure enough, it took less than ten minutes for Elena to reply. She thanked Luis for

reading her blog post that day, then thanked him for his kind comment. He replied with another

thank you and stood up from his chair.

“What if she replies back now?” Jase asked.

“She will reply,” Luis said. “She’ll say, prego, which means you’re welcome in Italian.

Though she’s really French, for some reason she often uses Italian words. I’ve been through this

before and I don’t have to wait around now. She’ll have the last word. You always give the

blogger the last word on the comment thread. If you don’t, it could keep going back and forth for

days.” He smiled and patted Jase’s arm. He knew Jase didn’t understand and it would have been

too complicated to explain in the short amount of time they had.

Chapter Eleven

When they left the Internet café, it was Jase’s turn to take Luis someplace he loved in

New York. Jase didn’t have to think twice about where he was taking him, and it was within

walking distance from the café. He wasn’t ready to tell Luis the truth about who he really was

that day. But he wanted Luis to see one of the achievements in his life of which he was

extremely proud. After Jase had made his first million, he’d started a small foundation to support

the native arts of his home state, Alaska. It was called Alaska Frontier, and there were now

several annexes located across the county. It was a museum and an educational facility that

concentrated on native Alaskan arts. There were exhibits, videos, photo galleries, and more,

designed to preserve these arts and educate the public. There was even a library and a gift shop

where people could buy souvenirs. The annex in New York had been the first he’d started.

As they walked south, it was warming up outside. It was one of the rare summer days in

Manhattan without humidity. Though the sun was bright enough for Luis to wear dark glasses,

there was a comfortable breeze in the air that kept them from breaking a sweat. On Houston, they

passed a couple of very young gay men who were walking down the street hand in hand. The

smaller guy was leaning into the taller guy’s side and he was looking up at his face with adoring

eyes.

Luis sighed. “They look so happy,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that young.”

“But they aren’t much younger than you are,” Jase said.

“I’ve been very old for a very long time,” Luis said. “I didn’t have a choice. I had to learn

how to take care of myself. I may not do it very well. But at least I know how to get by.”

Luis was smiling and his voice was even and calm. But there was a hint of sadness that

tugged at Jase’s heart. So he reached out and grabbed Luis’s left hand. He smiled and said, “I’m

nowhere near as young as those two guys. Hell, I could probably be their father. But I wouldn’t

mind holding your hand.”

Luis didn’t pull back. He tightened his grip around Jase’s hand and said, “Anyone who

would object to holding your hand, sir, would be an obtuse fool.”

Jase felt his jeans tighten. This was the first time Jase had ever held anyone’s hand in

public. All his life he’d wondered about couples, gay or straight, who walked down the street

hand in hand. He’d see them and frown, shaking his head and dismissing them as blatant,

overemotional fools. He’d always thought there was something contrived about holding hands in

public, as if the people who did this were trying to prove to the world, or themselves, they were

really in love. He’d never been fond of any public affection, especially kissing. But holding

Luis’s hand, passing hundreds of people on the street, changed his opinion in a matter of seconds.

All he had to do was touch Luis and he felt alive from the top of his head to the bottom of his

feet. He was proud to be with him and he wanted the entire world to know it. A sense of stability

and comfort passed through his body; the corners of his lips turned up and his eyes widened. If

this was what mid-life crisis was all about, he thought with a smile, bring it on.

They passed people on cell phones who didn’t even notice they were holding hands. They

could have stripped naked, gone down on the sidewalk, and started having sex and these people

wouldn’t have looked up from their phone conversations. Some of the people they passed

frowned at them for being so affectionate—Jase knew the look. A young woman pushing a baby

carriage smiled and nodded. When they passed two older men with red faces and bulging

stomachs who were also holding hands, Jase pulled Luis closer and put his arm around his waist.

“Do you think those guys have been together for a long time?” Jase asked. It had recently

begun to occur to him that being gay wasn’t so different from being straight. The main factor, as

he saw it, was finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with.

Luis shrugged. He leaned into Jase’s side and put his arm around Jase’s waist. “I’d like to

think they have been with each other for forty years,” he said. “I don’t see many gay couples

who have been together for a long time in my circles. But I’ve heard they’re out there

somewhere.”

“I’m sure they are,” Jase said.

When they reached the entrance of the Alaska Frontier building, Jase stopped and opened

the door. “Here we are,” he said. “The place in New York I love the most.”

Luis looked up at the sign, and then at the front of the building. “I didn’t expect this,” he

said.

“What did you expect?”

“To be honest,” Luis said. “You act so straight sometimes. I was expecting you to take

me to a baseball game, or something along those lines. Something really manly and butch.”

Jase laughed. “I love baseball,” he said. “I’ll take you to a game next time. But this is the

place where I go when I’m feeling homesick for Alaska. The minute I walk through the doors, I

feel a sense of peace I can’t find anyplace else in the city.” That wasn’t totally true. He didn’t

mention this to Luis because he wasn’t sure how it would sound. But when he was with Luis, he

felt the same sense of peace. He wasn’t lonely anymore and he didn’t long for home. With Luis

beside him, he felt like he was home.

When they went inside, Jase didn’t tell Luis he’d been responsible for starting the entire

foundation that made Alaska Frontier possible. He felt slightly guilty about it, but he didn’t want

to ruin a wonderful day. He wasn’t sure how Luis would react to his mid-life experiment. He did,

however, take Luis on a detailed tour, explaining everything they passed. Luis listened closely,

absorbing all the little details. For the first time since Jase had met him, Luis wasn’t talking

nonstop and explaining something to Jase.

In one of the photo exhibit rooms, a pure white square of a room with shiny white floors

and tall ceilings, Luis stared at pictures of the Alaskan landscape. He pressed his palm to his

chest and said, “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. Is it really that spectacular in person?”

Jase smiled and nodded. “It’s even better in person,” he said. “There’s no way to truly

describe it without seeing it firsthand.”

“I’d love to go there someday,” Luis said. “There are people who are either summer

people or winter people. I’m more winter than summer. One of my favorite nights of the year is

when they push the clocks back in the fall. I love when it gets dark at five o’clock in the

afternoon, and I can’t wait for the first snowfall.”

Jase stared at him for a moment and laughed. “Then you’d love Alaska,” he said.

They spent a few hours walking through the building and Jase continued to explain the

exhibits. When it was time to leave, Luis suggested they walk back to the Upper West Side. “I’m

not trying to be cheap,” he said. “I’ll pay for a cab if you don’t want to walk. But it’s such a nice

day, I hate to waste it.”

Jase reached for his hand and pulled him across the street. “I don’t mind walking. And we

can take as long as we want. But only under one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to hold your hand the entire time,” Jase said.

At first, Luis lowered his chin and he blushed. Then his eyelids went up and he said, “I’d

like that,” with a soft, gentle voice.

They crossed to the West Village and stopped in a few shops to browse. By the time they

went into one small men’s clothing store on Bleecker Street, they were feeling giddy. Luis

nodded to a couple of salespeople on the floor. The salespeople were young gay men with short

dark hair and tight clothes. They nodded back and addressed Luis by his first name. Luis turned

to Jase and suggested they try on a couple of pairs of jeans, so he grabbed a handful from a rack

without looking at the sizes and he pulled Jase into the fitting room.

When they were inside, Luis pulled two jock straps out from beneath the jeans and said,

“I grabbed these jocks on the way in. Let’s put them on and see if we can leave the store without

being caught.”

“But that’s stealing,” Jase said. He blinked and stared down at the jock straps. One was

bright green and the other bright orange. There were small price tags on the waistbands. Each

jock strap was forty dollars. “And they’re expensive, too.”

“I’ve shopped here before,” Luis said. “And trust me, I’ve spent a small fortune

overpaying for jeans and other things. Last week I spent two hundred dollars on a plain black T-

shirt that probably wasn’t worth more than twenty.”

“Why?” Jase asked.

Luis shrugged. “It makes me feel good,” he said. “And the salespeople talked me into it.”

Then he unzipped his pants and kicked off his shoes. “They owe me now. Besides, I’ll come

back this week and spend more money on more clothes. They’d probably give me both jock

straps without thinking twice if I asked for them.”

Jase shrugged and unzipped his pants. When he kicked off his shoes, he accidentally fell

on top of Luis and they both started to laugh out loud. They were in one of those small fitting

rooms designed for one person instead of two. There were skimpy half doors and the two

salespeople out on the floor could see their upper bodies, but not their legs. While they continued

to laugh and strip, the salespeople gave each other looks.

Luis removed his underwear first and threw them at Jase. Jase watched him put on the

bright green jock strap without blinking. He looked so adorable Jase wanted to go down on his

knees and chew the green fabric.

But Luis reached out and snapped the waistband of Jase’s underwear and said, “C’mon.

It’s your turn now. Take them off and put on the jock.”

So Jase pulled down his underwear and put on the bright orange jock strap. He pulled it

up so fast part of his dick stuck out of the pouch. When Luis saw it, he reached down and pulled

the orange fabric with one hand, and with the other, he grabbed Jase’s semi-erect dick and gently

packed it into the pouch. His fingers held the shaft so lightly Jase’s balls jumped.

“We’d better get dressed and get out of here,” Jase said.

“Why?”

“Because if you touch my dick again like that I’m going to have to fuck you right

here in the fitting room.” He pointed to his crotch and smiled. “Look what you did. I’m getting

all wooded up now.”

“It’s not my fault you’re always horny,” Luis said. He smiled at Jase’s erection. “You

need some self-control. You have to tame that thing.”

Jase smiled and squared his shoulders. He moved forward as if ready to pounce. He

looked to see if the salespeople were still watching them. They were on the floor, pretending to

talk to each other, but Jase knew they were waiting to see what would happen next. “Go head,”

Jase said. He was whispering and his voice was deep and serious. “Pull my dick out and put it

back in again. Do it just the way you did before…real light.”

Luis punched him in the chest and laughed. “Get dressed and stop being vulgar. We’ll

both get arrested if you don’t stop. And I have no intention of going to jail.”

When they were dressed, they shoved their own underwear into their pockets and left the

fitting room wearing their bold new jock straps. Luis handed the pile of jeans back to one of the

salespeople. He smiled and said, “Nothing fits right today. But I’ll be back next week for

something else.” Then he lifted his chin and walked out of the store.

Before Jase followed him out, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a hundred-

dollar bill. He handed it to the skinny young guy holding the pile of jeans and said, “Here, take

this for the mess we just made with the jeans.” Then he left before the guy could object. Though

Luis had a point about spending a lot of money in that particular shop, Jase didn’t like the idea of

stealing anything. It didn’t rest well with him; he believed in karma. And it wasn’t as though Jase

couldn’t afford to buy a couple of pairs of jock straps.

* * * *

They continued walking uptown until Luis said his feet were hurting. Jase hailed a taxi,

insisting he was going to pay, and they rode home the rest of the way. By the time the taxi

dropped them off in front of their building, they were laughing so hard about what had happened

in the fitting room Luis missed the first step and almost fell flat on his face. Jase reached out fast

and caught him in his arms. Then he placed one palm on Luis’s stomach and the other on Luis’s

back and guided him up the steps.

On the top step, they both reached into their pockets at the same time and pulled out their

keys. For a moment, they glared at each other in silence, and then started laughing again. Jase

used his key to unlock the door. He held it open for Luis and placed his hand on the small of

Luis’s back to escort him into the vestibule.

“Mr. Gordon should see us now,” he said. “He’d never believe we both had our keys at

the same time.”

Jase had stopped laughing. He was standing over Luis, staring at him with a serious

expression. When Luis saw his face, he stopped laughing and he looked into Jase’s eyes. For two

or three seconds, they just stood there, motionless, without blinking.

Then Jase took a breath and lifted his arms. He tilted his head to the side and nodded yes

just once. Luis exhaled and ran toward him. He put his arms around Jase’s shoulders, tilted his

head back, and opened his mouth. When Luis closed his eyes, Jase kissed him on the mouth and

hugged him so hard Luis went up and his feet dangled three inches from the black-and-white

tiled floor.

Chapter Twelve

They spent the night in Jase’s apartment. Jase had tried to carry Luis up all five flights;

however, he’d had to put Luis down at the bottom of the third flight and Luis walked the rest of

the way. With Luis’s arms wrapped around Jase’s body and Jase’s hand resting on Luis’s ass,

they took the next two flights slowly, stopping to kiss and grope each other in the stairwell. By

the time they reached the top step on fifth floor of the building, Luis’s pants were open. Before

they were even inside Jase’s apartment, Luis’s pants were down around his knees and his right

hand was inside Jase’s pants. After that, they made love four times that night. The last time with

Luis on his back, on top of the desk in Jase’s bedroom, with Luis’s legs spread as wide as they

would go and dangling over Jase’s strong forearms.

In the morning, Jase opened his eyes and sat up in bed. He was in the middle of the

mattress, with his legs spread wide, and he wasn’t covered with blankets. When he looked down

at his dick, the long, hard shaft jumped. His erection was pointing up and the head was resting

below his navel. He reached down and held the shaft in the palm of his right hand, then looked

around the room to see if Luis was still there to take care of him. They’d spent the night together.

The last thing Jase remembered was drifting into a deep sleep to the sound of Luis’s gentle

breathing, with Luis’s soft cheek resting on his chest.

Sun streamed through the sheer draperies and warmed the room. He heard horns honking

and sirens blaring from the open window. Jase sat up higher and looked back and forth. The

apartment was silent and he knew he was alone. The only sign that Luis had spent the night with

him was in the corner of his bedroom, near the window that led to the fire escape. The window

was open and the orange jock strap was hanging from the back of a chair. Jase smiled and jerked

his erection a couple of times. He figured Luis must have crept out of bed quietly so he could go

back to his own apartment and take care of his dog.

So Jase climbed out of bed and loped to the window in his bare feet. He put on the orange

jock strap and packed his erection into the pouch so it wouldn’t bounce up and down. Then he

pushed the curtains aside and passed through the open window. He wanted to sneak into Luis’s

apartment and surprise him. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Luis’s face when he showed up

outside his window in nothing but the orange jock strap.

But when he knocked on Luis’s window and called his name, no one answered. Jase was

excited; he was still erect and the head of his penis was sticking through the waistband of the

jock strap. Jase had never felt this elated in his life—he couldn’t remember the last time he’d

smiled for so long. Inside Luis’s apartment, the little dog was sitting on the loveseat staring at

Jase. His tail was wagging, his right paw was up, and his head was bobbing around in circles as

if he were bowing to an audience.

Jase opened the window and stepped into the living room, looking into the kitchen first.

When he saw Luis wasn’t there, he patted the dog on the head and said, “Hey, doggie.” After that,

he crossed into Luis’s bedroom and found the empty bathroom. He figured Luis had gone out to

get coffee, so he ambled back into the living room and opened the front door. He figured it was

safe return to his apartment this way. Luis and Jase were the only two apartments on that floor

and no one visited that early.

But as he opened the door, he saw Sherman’s back. Sherman was heading toward Jase’s

apartment, wearing his tight black shorts and his skimpy black tank top. Jase jumped back into

Luis’s apartment and closed the door without making a sound. He didn’t want Sherman to find

him lurking around in Luis’s apartment wearing nothing but a bright orange jock strap. He

wasn’t trying to hide anything. He just wanted to explain to Sherman that he was in love with

someone wonderful now, and that he wasn’t going to continue his charade any longer.

He ran back to his apartment so fast he almost slipped on the fire escape. While Sherman

knocked on his door, he put on his sweatpants and smoothed out his hair. Then he took a deep

breath, went into his living room, and opened the door.

Sherman looked him up and down and smiled. The shorts Sherman was wearing were

even tighter than the shorts he’d worn the day before. This pair bunched up in his crotch, causing

the bulge between his legs to stick out to the point of being obnoxious. Sherman ran the tip of his

tongue across his bottom lip and took a quick breath. Then he placed his palm on Jase’s naked

chest and kissed Jase on the lips. “Good morning, sexy,” he said. “I brought you breakfast. From

the looks of it, you could use a strong cup of coffee.” He was carrying a small white bag and a

cardboard tray with two cups of coffee.

When Sherman kissed him—a long, wet kiss—Jase frowned and stepped back. He

opened the door wider and said, “Good morning. I was up late last night.” His voice was dead

even and his face remained expressionless. He hadn’t seen Sherman since they’d had sex in the

shower. Jase noticed the tone in Sherman’s voice had changed. He sounded more like a lover

than a friend.

Sherman went inside and placed the bag and the coffee on table beside the sofa, then

kicked off his running shoes and said, “I was hoping we could take another shower together. I

have an itch this morning that I just can’t seem to scratch alone.” His voice was low and

seductive. When he spoke, he stared at Jase’s crotch.

Jase sighed and closed the door. After being with Luis, he had no interest in having sex

with Sherman again. He was sorry he’d even had sex with Sherman in the first place. He should

have been stronger, and he should have said no when he’d had the chance. Sherman had been

passing seductive innuendoes by him for weeks and he’d been ignoring them. That night when

Jase thought Luis was getting back with Dr. Barton from Tennessee, he’d indulged himself. Now

he had to set the record straight.

When Sherman started to pull down his pants, Jase reached out with both arms and said,

“Stop, Sherman. I was serious when I said I wanted to keep it casual. I’m sorry if you

misunderstood. I didn’t want that to happen. We’re not taking a shower today, or ever again.”

Sherman laughed. “But it is casual, sexy. Stop worrying. I’ll just take off my clothes, get

down on my knees, and service you. You don’t even have to do anything. Just stand there and let

me suck you off. You can’t get more casual than that.” He leaned forward and said, “I swallow,

too.”

Jase took a quick breath and walked to the other side of the room. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s not going to happen again.” The arrangement he’d made with Sherman seemed obsolete

now. Disappearing in New York to experience what it was like to be gay seemed almost

laughable. Being gay, for Jase, wasn’t all that different from being straight. He wasn’t a different

person; nothing about him had changed. The only significant difference was he’d actually fallen

in love with a man instead of dreaming about it. But more than that, he missed his real life and he

wanted to stop pretending. He didn’t have to hide anymore. He wasn’t afraid to let the entire

world know who he was.

Sherman smiled. He tilted his head to the side and hesitated for a moment. “You’ve met

someone, haven’t you?” he asked. “That’s why you’re so quiet this morning.”

“I want to be honest with you,” Jase said. “You’ve helped me out a lot, and I’m grateful

for that. But I know who I am now, and I’m tired of running. I want my life back, and on my

own terms. I don’t care what anyone thinks.”

Though Sherman was telling him their relationship was casual, Jase knew Sherman

wanted more from him than just sex. And now that Jase had fallen in love with Luis, Jase wanted

Sherman to know they weren’t going to be together again. “I’d like for us to remain friends,” he

said, maintaining a stoic tone of voice. “I’m going to turn the private bank account I started over

to you. I won’t be needing anymore withdrawals from that account and I want you to have

what’s left. Think of it as a gift, for helping me find out who I am.”

“Who is he?” Sherman asked. He was smiling; he sounded coy now. “Some little boy you

met in a bar? It must have happened fast, because you couldn’t wait to fuck my brains out in the

shower the last time I saw you. He must know how to suck dick very well.”

Jase didn’t want to give Sherman details. This was his life and he didn’t feel obligated to

discuss anything intimate with anyone other than Luis. “I didn’t meet him in a bar,” Jase said.

“Please don’t make it sound ugly. It’s something beautiful.”

Sherman slowly crossed the room. He walked up to Jase’s side and placed his hand on

Jase’s naked shoulder. “Poor baby,” he said, “You just came out of the closet and faced who you

are. It’s not smart to get involved with anyone too seriously at first. Trust me, I know. These

guys are only in it for fun and games. They are going to come in and out of your life for a long

time. But you can’t take them seriously. And I don’t think you’re ready to go public yet anyway.

It could be damaging to your image, not to mention your businesses. Once you come out, there’s

no going back.”

Jase pulled away. “This isn’t just fun and games. This is my life we’re talking about.

We’re in love with each other. I hope you’re happy for us.” He didn’t care about his businesses

or his public image anymore. The only thing he cared about was being with Luis.

Sherman went back to the sofa and put on his running shoes without saying a word.

When he stood up, he smiled at Jase and said, “I have feelings for you. Strong feelings, Jase. I

thought you were starting to feel the same way about me. Don’t be foolish. We could be good

together. I know how to handle a man like you.”

Jase didn’t want to be handled. He wanted to be loved. “You’re a good friend,” he said.

“But I’m in love with someone else. I was hoping you’d be happy for me. I was hoping you’d

take the news with the same elegance and grace you apply to every other aspect of your life.”

Sherman’s eyebrows went up. “And what if I don’t?” he said. “I could just walk out, slam

the door, and tell the entire world what you’ve been up to. I’m sure all the tabloids and

magazines would love to know what their favorite pop culture billionaire has been doing lately

since he dropped off the face of the earth. I’ll bet they’d be thrilled to find out that he’s fallen in

love with some trashy little bar queen.”

Jase frowned. “I thought you were better than that,” he said. “I thought we were friends.”

Sherman took a deep breath and exhaled. “As it turns out, I am better than that,” he said.

“And yes, we are friends. So let’s just do this. You take all the time you want to fuck your cute

little bar friend. When it’s over, and he’s taken all he can get from you, I’ll be waiting for you.

I’m in no rush.”

“You’re not getting it,” Jase said. “This is the real thing. This is what I’ve wanted all my

life. He’s just as much in love with me as I am with him, and he doesn’t even know who I am.

As far as he’s concerned, I’m just a poor slob who couldn’t rub two nickels together to get a

dime, and it doesn’t matter to him. He cares nothing about money.”

“And what about when he finds out about you?” Sherman said. “He might not like the

fact that you’ve lied to him and you’ve deceived him for so long.”

“I’ll tell him the truth and I’ll explain,” Jase said. “I know him. He’ll understand. He’s

only interested in me, not my money or my power.”

“I see,” Sherman said. “I think you’re going to be disappointed. But I can see that I can’t

change your mind.” He squared his shoulders and walked toward the door. When he opened the

door, he turned and lifted his chin. “When this little fling is over, I’ll be there. These things never

work out. A man like you needs someone like me who knows and understands him, not some

silly little bar queen who is only concerned about buying a cute new shirt for Saturday night.”

“The money in the account is yours,” Jase said. “Thank you for helping me out the way

you did.” He wasn’t going to apologize anymore. He hadn’t done anything wrong and he’d

always been honest and up front with Sherman.

“It’s not about money for me,” Sherman said, shrugging his shoulders. “Thanks for the

money in the account. But I’d stay even if there wasn’t money.”

Jase smiled. “I know you would.” Then he shrugged too. “But I’m in love. What more

can I say?”

Sherman smiled. “I think you’re making a huge mistake.” He turned and left the

apartment without bothering to close the door.

Chapter Thirteen

When Luis didn’t contact Jase by noon, Jase tried calling Luis’s cell phone but he didn’t

answer. He couldn’t even begin to imagine where Luis could have gone, or why Luis hadn’t told

him where he was going. After the romantic night they’d shared, Jase couldn’t wait to hold Luis

in his arms again.

So Jase decided to get dressed and go out. He didn’t feel like walking in Riverside Park

that day, so he hailed a taxi on Riverside Drive and told the driver to take him to SoHo where he

could go to the Alaska Frontier and spend some time in the quiet library there. He knew if he just

sat around the apartment waiting for Luis to return, he’d wind up clenching his fists and biting

the inside of his mouth until it was raw. When he felt this way, spending time in the Alaska

Frontier was the only thing that helped calm him down.

A few blocks before the Alaska Frontier building, the taxi stopped for a red light. Jase

was leaning into the door, thinking about Luis, with his elbow on the armrest and his chin in his

palm. He turned to the right and looked out the window. When he saw the back of an attractive

young man wearing tight jeans walk down the street, he lowered the back window and shouted

Luis’s name. The guy had the same hair cut Luis had, his back was just as straight as Luis’s, and

his ass rounded out just like Luis’s. Jase shouted a second time, only louder. Three other people

on the sidewalk turned to see who was calling. But when the young man didn’t turn around, Jase

pulled a fifty-dollar bill from his back pocket, handed it to the driver, and told him to keep the

change. Then he jumped out of the cab and ran after the guy on the sidewalk.

When Jase caught up with the guy, his face was red and he was gasping for breath. He

grabbed the guy’s arms and turned him around. “Why didn’t you stop when I called you?” Jase

asked.

A total stranger looked into Jase’s eyes and said, “Excuse me?” His eyes were wide with

fear and his cheeks began to flush.

Jase released the guy’s arms and said, “I’m so sorry. I thought you were someone else.

You look just like someone I know. I’m very, very sorry.” He pressed his palm to his chest and

tried to calm his breathing.

The young guy didn’t wait around. He gave Jase a look and continued walking. Jase

wiped a few beads of perspiration from his forehead and crossed the street to the Alaska Frontier.

Before he went inside, he called Luis’s cell phone again. When no one answered, he walked into

the building and headed to the back where the library was located.

It was a slow day in the Alaska Frontier. Jase only passed two tourists on his way to the

library in the back room: a middle-aged woman with tight polyester pants and a fanny pack

cinched around her ample waist, and a tall thin man with gray temples, baggy short pants, and

black socks. They were staring at a photo of a vast, snow-covered mountain range. The man

smiled and said, “I’ve always wanted to see the real Alaska. We should book a trip, hon.” The

woman turned and frowned. She pointed to him and said, “Once you’ve seen one mountain,

you’ve seen them all. So take a good long look at this one. We’re going to Disneyworld and

that’s that.”

Jase smiled and continued walking until he reached the library. He nodded at a woman

behind a desk and turned right so he could sit at his favorite table. As he rounded a corner with a

tall bookshelf, he stopped walking and pressed his palm to his stomach. Luis was sitting at Jase’s

favorite table. There was a pile of thick books to his right and a large cup of coffee to his left.

Jase walked over to the table and sat down beside him. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m reading. Is there a law against reading?”

Jase shrugged and smiled. “Of course not. I just didn’t think I’d run into you here, is all.”

He looked down. The book Luis was reading wasn’t even about Alaska. It was a book about

Vancouver. “Why are you reading about Vancouver?”

Luis lifted his eyes from the book he was reading and faced Jase. He ignored the question

about Vancouver. “I didn’t think you’d find me here.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Jase said. “We have to talk.”

“Leave me alone,” Luis said. His voice was calm and quiet. He didn’t sound upset or the

least bit disturbed. “I just want to read.” He lowered his eyes to the book and exhaled as if he

was bored.

Jase leaned forward. He stared at him without saying a word. A few seconds later, he

grabbed Luis’s arm and said, “Luis, I love you. We have to talk.”

Luis didn’t reply, just sat there staring at Jase with an expression that was a mix between

stunned and mortified. Then he stood up fast and walked away from the table.

Jase followed him. “Where are you going?”

“To the bathroom,” Luis said. “Now, leave me alone.”

Jase grabbed his arms. “I’m not leaving you alone.” His voice was strong and confident.

“I’ve fallen in love with you and I have a few important things to tell you.”

“I’m busy,” Luis said. “If I’m going to move to Vancouver, I have to know what it’s like

there.”

Jase closed his eyes and shook his head fast. “Why are you moving to Vancouver?

You’re insane.”

“I am not insane,” Luis said. “Now let go of me. I’m moving to Vancouver with Melvin

Ashland. I met him at my cocktail party with my friend Michael. You probably met him that

night. He’s one of the wealthiest men in Vancouver, he’s eighty years old, and he just adores me.

He says, ‘Luis, you make me feel young and peppy again,’ and I adore him just as much. He’s

very sweet and very cute. He wants me to move there, live with him, and be his partner. I’m

going.”

“You’re out of your mind,” Jase said. “Are you listening to yourself? You don’t have to

live your life this way anymore.”

Luis smiled. “I know that’s what they all say about me. I’m crazy, I’m flighty, I’m not

very stable. But they don’t know me well enough to form an opinion about me. I don’t let them

get to know me that well. I only let them know what I want them to know.”

Jase held him tighter. “I’m not like everyone else, and I thought you knew that. I happen

to know you very well, and I happen to be in love with you. And there are a few things about me

you should know.”

When Luis didn’t reply, Jase’s expression softened. He released Luis’s arms and said,

“Hold on. I’m starting to get it now. Maybe I’m not different from the rest of them. Of course.

How could I have been so stupid? I thought you might be in love with me, but I’m just another

old guy to have fun with. That’s what I am…just another diversion.” He lifted his arm and

smacked his forehead with the heal of his hand. “I’m just like all the others. I’m nothing more to

you than Derrick, and Melvin, and the rest of the guys you entertain and escort around town.”

Luis stared down at his shoes. His eyebrows furrowed and the corners of his lips turned

down.

Jase took a step forward. “If that’s all I am to you, there’s something I guess I should give

you. I’m just sorry I didn’t leave it on the nightstand for you this morning.” He reached into his

back pocket and pulled out a stack of cash that had been folded in half. He wasn’t sure how

much there was, but he figured there had to be at least five hundred dollars. He placed the money

in Luis’s palm and said, “I want you to have this.”

“What’s this for?” Luis asked.

“Five hundred dollars for last night,” he said. “You’ve made at least that much for giving

Derrick a used pair of your socks. You worked hard for it last night.” Then he turned his back

fast, shoved his hands into his pockets, and left Luis standing next to the bathroom door with a

stack of cash in his hand and eyes that resembled wet headlights.

Chapter Fourteen

Jase went back to his apartment and kept a low profile for the next few days. For the first

few, he couldn’t eat or sleep. He read, he worked on his new invention, and he took long walks

in the early mornings and in the late evenings. He wasn’t ready to go back to his real life yet and

he needed time to get over Luis. He didn’t call Sherman to tell him what had happened with Luis

either. Jase wanted to keep Sherman at a distance. Though he wasn’t sure about whether or not

Sherman gloat and say, “I told you so,” Jase didn’t want to take any chances. The last thing he

wanted to hear was that he’d made a classic mistake by falling in love with a hapless little bar

queen. And he wasn’t about to go running back to Sherman for consolation. Sherman would

have seen how devastated Jase had been after Luis had rejected him and he would have moved in

for the kill.

The last thing Jase was interested in was meeting anyone else. He was still in love with

Luis, in spite of the way Luis had treated him. After he’d calmed down and he’d thought about

what had happened with a clear head, he started to feel sorry for Luis. He was young; he was

making a huge mistake he’d regret. But more than that, Jase wondered if it would have made a

difference if he’d told Luis the truth about who he was. Ultimately, he decided it wouldn’t have

mattered. Because if he’d told Luis he was a billionaire and that he could buy and sell Melvin

from Vancouver twenty times over and Luis agreed to stop seeing Melvin, Jase would always

wonder whether or not Luis was with him for money or because he truly loved him.

Later that week, while Jase was taking his trash out, he ran into Luis and Melvin. It was a

little after two in the morning and Jase had just finished making plans for a brief trip to Alaska.

Luis and Melvin were on their way into Luis’s apartment. Luis looked radiant, but poor old

Melvin was having a hard time catching his breath after climbing up all five flights. They must

have gone to a formal party because they were both wearing white dinner jackets and Luis had

large diamonds in both ear lobes. Luis’s voice was light and animated. Jase took a deep breath

and smiled. He said hello to Luis and nodded at Melvin. When Luis saw Jase, he lifted his head,

said hello, and smiled as if they’d never even argued.

But Luis didn’t bother to introduce Jase to Melvin, and Jase didn’t wait around to meet

him. Jase continued walking to the staircase so he could take his small container of trash to the

basement. When he reached the steps, he heard Luis laugh and shut his apartment door. But a

few seconds later, halfway down the steps, Jase heard Luis moan out loud, then loud crashes and

bangs come from Luis’s apartment. Jase stopped walking and turned to Luis’s door. When he

heard the sound of glass breaking, he dropped his trash on the steps and ran back to Luis’s

apartment to see what was wrong.

He didn’t bother to knock. When he entered, poor old Melvin was standing near the door

wringing his fingers and shaking his bald head. Luis was in the bedroom by then, pulling pictures

down from the wall and knocking furniture upside down.

“What happened?” Jase asked.

Melvin frowned and spread out his arms. “I don’t know. He just went crazy.”

Jase ran to the bedroom and found Luis trying to yank a large mirror off the wall. His

face was red and his eyes were filled with tears. There were clothes strewn all over the room,

half-filled bottles of cologne stippled the floor, and the dresser had been pulled away from the

wall and knocked over face first. Luis had ripped pillows open and there were goose feathers

from one end of the room to the other. When the mirror he was tugging broke from the wall, Jase

pulled him out of the way and held him as tightly as he could. The mirror fell with a loud thump

and small shards flew in all directions.

“What’s wrong?” Jase asked.

Luis didn’t answer; he couldn’t. He was sobbing now and his chest was heaving.

“What happened?”

Luis took a quick breath and said, “My uncle.”

After that, he collapsed into Jase’s arms. His body simply wilted and he stopped fighting.

Jase carried him to the bed and placed him gently on top of the fluffy white duvet. Luis turned on

his side and crawled into a fetal position. He wasn’t moaning anymore, but he was still sobbing

and his chest was still heaving. Jase thought about getting into bed with him and holding him.

Seeing him this distraught caused a sharp pain in the pit of Jase’s stomach that wouldn’t go away.

But Jase took a step back and rubbed his jaw. As hard as it was to turn away, this wasn’t his

place anymore. Luis had rejected him for Melvin, he was running off to Vancouver, and it was

Melvin’s job to console Luis now.

So he left him there on the bed and walked back into the living room. Melvin was still

standing in the same place, wringing his fingers and shaking his head. The poor little dog was

under the loveseat cowering. His entire body trembled and his tail was down between his legs.

“What happened?” Jase asked. “What did you do to him?” When he’d seen them in the

hall, Luis had been smiling and joking around. It didn’t make sense for him to go berserk for no

reason.

The old man shrugged his stooped shoulders and pointed to Luis’s iPhone on a table

beside the door. “I don’t know,” he said. He had one of those shaky, trembling voices some old

people seem to acquire in their eighties. “We came inside and he looked at his phone to check a

text message. I don’t know how to text message. I don’t even know what a text message is. I’m

not a fan of those new computerized gizmos.”

Jase frowned at the word gizmo and picked up Luis’s iPhone. He didn’t understand

people like Melvin who wouldn’t take the time to learn new things like basic text messaging. It

wasn’t rocket science, after all. In Jase’s eyes, it was just a poor excuse for sheer laziness. And

age, unless there was a valid physical problem, was no excuse.

When Jase opened Luis’s most recent text message, he saw it was from Dr. Barton, Jase’s

ex-partner in Tennessee. Jase pressed his lips together and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he

exhaled and read the message aloud to Melvin. “So sorry. Your uncle passed away this afternoon

due to HIV-related complications. You can call me for more details. Love, Ken.”

“Oh dear,” Melvin said. He pressed his palm to his mouth. “Did you say HIV-related

complications? I’m not sure I can get involved with this sort of thing. My family is very well

known back in Vancouver and I like to keep a low profile.”

Jase put the phone back on the table and ran his hand down the back of his head. Jase was

a prominent billionaire and he wasn’t worried about his reputation. He was worried about how

Luis was going to deal with this news. He looked at Melvin and frowned again. Then he

wondered why insignificant people like Melvin were always so worried about what everyone

thought of them. “I don’t think this will hurt your reputation,” he said, clenching his fists.

“Unless there’s a law against grieving for a lost uncle, you’ll be fine and so will your family in

Vancouver.” Then he reached forward with his right hand and opened the door.

“Was he close to his uncle?” the old man asked.

“Very.”

“Are you leaving?”

“It’s your job to console him, not mine,” Jase said, walking into the hall. “You’d better

get in there now.” Then he stopped and turned back. “Take good care of him.”

Chapter Fifteen

By August, Luis had begun to move on with his life. He was planning a move to

Vancouver to be near Melvin. Though he wasn’t in love with Melvin and their relationship was

based on companionship, Melvin had helped him get through one of the worst ordeals of his life.

He’d given Luis money to refurnish his apartment with a combination of expensive French

antiques and modern leather furniture, he given him a bank account to buy anything he needed,

and he’d arranged for Luis to live in a wonderful new loft in Vancouver. Melvin had even

offered to pay for his uncle’s cremation. But Luis’s ex-partner, Ken, had insisted on doing that

himself.

Though it would take him years to get over his uncle’s death, not to mention the guilt he

felt for not being with his uncle when he died, Luis was finally in a position where he didn’t have

to worry about money anymore. He stopped meeting all of the other older men he’d been

escorting and started focusing on his move to Vancouver. He stopped selling his dirty socks and

used underwear as well. He now had time to sit and read Elena’s blog on a brand new laptop that

Melvin had given him, and if he wanted to go downtown to the Internet café, he could sit there

for hours without having to worry about making his appointments. At night when he wasn’t with

Melvin, he watched movies on his brand-new flat-screen TV. He’d even enrolled in an online

university to work on a college degree in art history. He had to take electives. He loved learning

how to speak French. He sat for hours every night listening to a man’s deep voice recite French

phrases, and then he’d repeat them until he’d memorized them forever.

Luis was ready for the move to Vancouver. It was time to leave New York and make a

fresh start somewhere else. But he couldn’t help feeling as if he still had one last piece of

unfinished business. He hadn’t seen Jase since the night he’d learned about his uncle’s death, and

he wanted to set things right with Jase. He wanted to leave New York on good terms with Jase

and he wanted to make sure Jase didn’t hate him. Though it shouldn’t have mattered one way or

the other, he cared about what Jase thought and he didn’t want to leave town wondering whether

or not Jase still hated him because he’d chosen to be with Melvin.

Jase was the sweetest man Luis had ever met. The day he’d told Jase he was accepting

Melvin’s offer to move to Vancouver had been the worst day of his life. If they couldn’t be

lovers and partners, at least they could always remain good friends.

The only problem was Luis couldn’t locate Jase. He’d left New York and disappeared

without saying goodbye. Luis knew Jase still had his apartment next door. Luis had peeked into

his window and he’d seen Jase’s apartment hadn’t been touched, so he knew Jase was coming

back eventually. He just wasn’t sure when he was coming back. For a while, Luis was worried

he’d never see Jase again. He so desperately wanted to talk to him before he left for Vancouver.

He just wanted to see his face and look into his eyes one more time.

Then one afternoon in the middle of August, as Luis was returning from an afternoon at

the Internet café, he ran into Jase’s snooty friend with the red hair. (He never could remember his

name. It was something that began with an Sh: either Sheldon, Shelby, or Shannon; he could

never get it right.) Jase’s friend was in the vestibule collecting Jase’s mail. While he was placing

it in a large leather briefcase, Luis greeted him and said, “I hope everything is okay with Jase. I

haven’t seen him around for a while. I was just wondering, is all.” He pretended they were just

casual friends so the friend wouldn’t suspect anything. He still wasn’t sure about this guy’s

relationship with Jase, and he didn’t want to say anything inappropriate.

The guy smiled without looking him in the eye. He was the type that didn’t bother with

small talk. “He’s fine,” he said, then rolled his eyes. “He’s in Alaska for a month. He’ll be back

around Labor Day. I’ve been forwarding his mail. Although I’m not sure why I’m doing this. He

never gets anything important at this address.”

Luis smiled and said, “Isn’t that nice for him?” then ran up to his apartment and wrote

Jase a letter. He figured if he sent Jase a letter to his New York apartment, the friend would pick

it up and forward it to Jase in Alaska. It wasn’t a long letter; just a note inviting Jase to dinner on

the Friday following Labor Day weekend. When he dropped it in the mailbox that same night, he

crossed his fingers and looked up at the sky, praying Jase would answer him before it was too

late.

* * * *

A week later, Luis pulled a small envelope out of his mailbox with a return address from

Alaska. It was just a short note. He opened the envelope and read it aloud right there in the

vestibule. “It was nice to hear from you. I’m glad you’re doing better now. I’m returning to New

York the Friday after Labor Day. I’d love to have dinner with you…for old time’s sake. Best,

Jase.”

Luis folded the letter neatly and put it back into the envelope. Though he wasn’t much of

a cook, he decided to plan a dinner in his apartment for Jase. It would be quieter there and they

could talk openly one last time. And he wanted Jase to see he was doing well now. The last time

Jase had seen him he was lying in the middle of a ruined apartment, with loose feathers floating

through the air and shards of broken mirror on the floor. For some reason he couldn’t explain, he

cared about what Jase thought. He didn’t care about what anyone else thought of him. But with

Jase it seemed to matter.

* * * *

Jase must have gone directly from the airport to Luis’s apartment. He showed up at

Luis’s door that Friday night with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a suitcase in the other.

Luis hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. “Come in,” he said. “It’s so good to see

you. I was afraid I’d never see you again.” He took the flowers and held them to his face. “They

smell wonderful. I love fresh flowers.”

Jase lifted the suitcase and laughed. “Sorry I have this,” he said. “I didn’t have time to go

to my place yet. This has been a long week.”

“A week with four Thursdays?”

“Exactly,” Jase said.

When the dog saw Jase, he jumped out from beneath one of the new black leather sofas

and ran across the room to greet him.

While Jase bent down to pet his head, Luis laughed and said, “I haven’t seen him this

happy since I dropped Chinese takeout on the floor a week ago. He really does love you.” When

he mentioned the word love, they both stopped moving for a second.

At first, Jase was quiet. But he was smiling as if he couldn’t control the direction in

which his lips were turning. His face flushed and he said, “How did you find me? I didn’t even

tell the landlord where I was going, and you know how Mr. Gordon likes to know everything.”

Luis took the flowers from him and crossed into the kitchen to put them in a vase. “I’m

very clever,” he said. “I have my ways.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Jase said.

“Actually,” Luis said, “I ran into Sherbet down at the mailbox one afternoon.”

“Sherman.”

“Whatever,” Luis said, concentrating on the flowers. “He was collecting your mail and he

told me he was forwarding it to you in Alaska. It wasn’t that difficult, really. I just sent you a

letter and it was forwarded.”

“I’m glad you contacted me again,” Jase said.

“You are?”

“Yes,” he said. “I wanted to see you again, too. I think about you often.”

Luis wasn’t sure where this was going, so he changed the subject fast. He didn’t want

Jase to say he was still in love with him. If he had to reject him a second time, it would kill him.

“I think about you, too. I’m glad it worked out for us to get together tonight. I’m leaving for

Vancouver on Sunday morning. I have the ticket and I’m almost completely packed.”

Jase ignored his comment about Vancouver and walked into the living room. “I see

you’ve made a few changes in here.” He was looking down at a small French table with two

gilded chairs. The table was covered with white silk and it had been set with elegant white china,

pure silver, and delicate crystal goblets.

Luis came out of the kitchen and placed the flowers in the middle of the table. “Do you

like it?”

Jase shrugged. “It’s fine,” he said, without elaborating. Then he rubbed his jaw and said,

“Why did you want to see me again? I was a little surprised.”

Luis arranged a flower that was sticking up too high and said, “I’ve said goodbye to

everyone. I wanted to say goodbye to you, too.”

“Will you be going to Vancouver with Melvin on Sunday?”

“He’ll take a later flight,” Luis said, with a forced, upbeat tone in his voice. “Melvin

doesn’t think it’s a good idea for us to travel together. His family is very prominent in Vancouver

and he doesn’t want to draw any attention.”

Jase frowned. “I see.”

“Melvin treats me very well,” Luis said. “He’s been there for me when I needed him. I

can’t tell you how happy I am.” He walked back to the kitchen to open a bottle of Asti Spumonte.

“Will you and Melvin be living together like a real couple?” Jase asked.

“I’m not sure I understand.”

Jase put his hands in his pockets and walked up behind him. He leaned forward and said,

“I’ll rephrase the question. Did Melvin actually tell you he loves you more than anything else in

the world, that he wants to share his life with you, and that he wants you to wear his ring? Will

you be living together and sleeping together in the same bed?”

Luis hesitated for a moment. His face felt warm and he had trouble speaking. “Well,” he

said, still smiling, “we won’t actually be living together. His family wouldn’t approve. But he’s

purchased a wonderful new loft for us on the outskirts of Vancouver and he’ll be there often.” He

opened the bottle and laughed. “Did I tell you how absolutely happy I am?”

“Yes, you’ve mentioned how happy you are.” Then Jase looked at the stove and said, “Is

the oven supposed to have smoke seeping out of the door?”

Luis blinked. “Oh shit, no,” he said, running into the kitchen. “I can’t believe I did it

again. I knew I didn’t set that damn timer right.”

While Luis opened the oven door and a puff of smoke hit him in the face, Jase stood there

laughing.

“It’s ruined,” Luis said. “I wanted to cook you a nice dinner and look at this mess. I

thought I followed all the directions so carefully. It’s an Alaskan salmon dish I found in the

library at the Alaska Frontier. And now it’s ruined.”

Jase walked into the kitchen and looked down at the roasting pan on top of the stove. The

fish was black, the carrots were dark and shriveled, and there wasn’t an ounce of liquid at the

bottom of the crusted, blackened pan. He laughed and said, “Why don’t I just take you out to

dinner? I’m doing well with my latest invention. I can afford it.”

Luis shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the burnt pan. “I guess we don’t have

any choice,” he said. He pulled the front of his shirt out and inhaled. “Just as long as there’s a

place casual enough to let me in smelling like burnt fish.”

Chapter Sixteen

Jase found it interesting that whenever he and Luis were together there were never any

mistakes about their individual roles. Things fell into place without a discussion; they each knew

which position to assume both in the bedroom and out in the real world. When they walked up to

the entrance of an Italian restaurant on West End Avenue, Luis instinctively stepped to the side

and allowed Jase to hold the door open for him. When Luis was inside, Jase placed his hand on

Luis’s back and guided him to a small table in a dark corner. Jase even pulled the chair out for

Luis and waited for him to sit down first. And when they were finished eating and it was time for

the waiter to bring the check to their table, the waiter placed it in front of Jase instead of Luis

without giving it a second thought.

Luis didn’t seem to mind that Jase liked taking control and being their guide. Perhaps it

was because Jase was older than Luis and he had more life experience. Perhaps it was because

Luis came across as the gentler, quieter one. In any event, there were no awkward moments

between them. It occurred to Jase that being with Luis, after not having seen him for so many

weeks, felt more natural than anything he’d ever known in his life.

In fact, it felt so natural Jase had an erection in his pants most of that night. After dinner,

they crossed back to Riverside Drive and took a long walk through Riverside Park. While Luis

talked about his plans for the future, Jase kept shoving his hands in his pockets to readjust his

rigid penis so it wouldn’t rub against the same section of his underwear for too long. The more

Luis talked, the harder Jase became. At one point, when Luis jerked to the side to avoid walking

into a biker, his arm brushed against Jase’s arm. When his flesh touched Jase’s, Jase’s balls

jumped up so fast he had to stretch his legs and lean forward to keep them inside his scrotum. It

finally reached a point where Jase stopped walking and suggested they sit on a bench for a while.

The head of his dick was rubbing against the waistband of his underwear and it burned so badly,

his left eye was twitching. He said he wanted to relax and enjoy the view of the river. But he

really wanted to just sit down and give his dick a chance to recuperate.

“Are you okay?” Luis asked. “You seem uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine,” Jase said, moving his legs around to find a position that wouldn’t smash his

dick. He shouldn’t have worn the tight low-rise jeans that day. He’d been wearing them since

he’d left Alaska. They had a tendency to smash his cock and leave temporary indentations.

Luis reached out and touched his forearm. “Are you sure?” It was an innocent gesture.

Jase took a quick breath and exhaled. He decided to be honest; he’d never been this

attracted to anyone and he doubted he’d feel this way about anyone in the future. “Actually, I’m

in a little discomfort right now.”

“You are? What’s wrong? Did you eat something at the restaurant?”

“My cock is so hard it’s starting to get painful. And I think I’m getting blue balls now.”

He stretched out his right leg, slipped his hand down the front of his jeans, and grabbed his dick.

He pulled the shaft up and to the right, then adjusted his balls to the right. “Ah,” he said, “that’s

much better.” Then he sat back and crossed his legs to cover the bulge in case anyone walked by.

Luis looked down between Jase’s legs and laughed. “I had no idea,” he said.

“I can’t help it,” Jase said. “I guess I’m just a horny old man.”

Luis looked into his eyes and said, “No, you’re not. You’re just plain horny, is what you

are. And you’re far from old.”

“It’s your entire fault,” Jase said. He looked into his eyes and smiled.

Luis looked down at his lap and frowned. “I’ve had a wonderful time tonight,” he said.

“But we can’t talk this way. I’m leaving on Sunday to start a whole new life in Vancouver, and I

want us to always be friends. And no matter how much I’d like to pull you into the bushes and

get you off right now, we can’t. It would be a huge mistake we’d both regret.”

“Speak for yourself,” Jase said. He nodded at a tree. “I’m ready to fuck that tree right

now.”

“Don’t be vulgar. You know I’m right.”

Jase sighed. “I know. I’m not trying to suggest anything. I swear I’m not. I just couldn’t

walk anymore.” For a second, he wondered if he should tell Luis about his real identity. Then he

decided it was a bad idea.

So they spent the next few minutes watching the river in silence. A couple of older men

passed by and smiled at them. One was walking a large black standard poodle on a pink leash

and the other was carrying a bag of groceries topped with dark leafy vegetables and greens. They

were bickering about whether or not pizza sauce was different from regular spaghetti sauce and

neither of them was willing to give in.

The one with the poodle turned to Jase and said, “I’m trying to explain to my know-it-all

partner here that pizza sauce is totally different from spaghetti sauce, and he’s not getting it.

Would you please explain it to him?”

“Ah well,” Jase said. He sat up and squared his shoulders. He lowered his voice as if he

were testifying in a courtroom. “They are two completely different sauces. Pizza sauce is much

spicier than spaghetti sauce.”

“I’m not so sure,” Luis said. He sat up and leaned forward. “I think they are the same.

They just taste different because they put more herbs and spices on top of the pizza before it goes

into the oven.”

The guy carrying the groceries lifted his chin and said, “That’s exactly what I said. You

don’t have to have a special sauce just for pizza. Spaghetti sauce will do just fine.”

“There’s absolutely no difference whatsoever,” Luis said, reaching out to shake the man’s

hand.

The guy walking the poodle looked at Jase and shrugged his shoulders. “I guess we can’t

win with these two.”

Jase smiled. There was something adorable about these two guys he couldn’t resist. “I

guess not.”

The guy with the poodle jerked his head toward the guy with the groceries. “Wait until

you two have been together as long as we have. I’ve been trying to educate this one for the past

forty years and he never listens to a word I say.”

The one with the groceries smiled at Luis and said, “That’s because I’m always right and

he’s always wrong.” His tone was lighthearted and his eyes were twinkling as if he knew a secret

he couldn’t tell.

Luis poked Jase in the arm and laughed. “Exactly,” he said.

Then the guy walking the poodle rolled his eyes and said to his partner, “Let’s leave these

nice young men alone now. You’re talking too much again.” He turned to Jase. “He never stops

talking.”

The one with the groceries smiled. “Someone has to talk, because he never says a word.”

The guy with the poodle just shrugged and started walking. The guy with the groceries

nodded to Jase and Luis and followed his partner. He carried the grocery bag close to his

stomach and he walked like a duck, with his legs spread wide and his feet going east and west.

Before they were out of listening distance, he turned to this partner and said, “I’m talking too

much? You’re the one who started talking to them. I didn’t say a word. I was just minding my

own business and you had to start carrying on about pizza sauce and spaghetti sauce.”

When the older guys were gone, Jase smiled and said, “They’ve been together for forty

years. That’s a lifetime. Hell, I’m forty years old now. If I’m ever going to be with someone for

forty years I’d better get moving.”

Luis hesitated, and then he stood up and said, “It’s getting late and I have an early flight

tomorrow. We should get back now.”

Jase lowered his leg and stood up. A dark feeling passed through his body. “I think it’s

safe to walk again. I’m soft now.”

“And you’d better keep it that way, too,” Luis said. “Because if you get hard again,

you’re on your own.”

* * * *

When they reached their building, they both pulled their keys out at the same time. Luis

held his up and said, “I’ve been very good about my keys lately. I make it a point to take them

everywhere now so I don’t have to wake up poor Mr. Gordon.”

Jase smiled and gestured to the door so Luis could use his key. “Then be my guest.”

But Luis put his keys back into his pocket and pushed Mr. Gordon’s button. “Let’s just

torture him tonight for old time’s sake. I’ll never be able to do it again.”

A minute later, Mr. Gordon buzzed them in. He was standing at the top floor looking

down. “I was sleeping,” he said, shaking his fist up and down. “This is the last straw. If this

happens again, I’m calling the police. I’ve had it. I need my rest.”

While Mr. Gordon shouted at them, Luis and Jase laughed all the way up to the fifth floor.

When they reached Luis’s apartment, Luis asked, “Would you like a nightcap?”

“Sounds good,” Jase said. He was hard again. His dick was ready to burst through the

waistband of his jeans and all he wanted to do was pull down his zipper and set it free. He wasn’t

sure how Luis would react, but he was going to try to seduce him one more time that night. He

knew it might be a mistake. But he couldn’t help the way he was feeling. He had to kiss him

again; he had to spread his legs and fuck his hot little ass just one more time before he left New

York for good.

However, when Luis opened the door and switched on the lights, two large men in dark

suits grabbed him from behind. They pulled Luis’s arms behind his back and slapped handcuffs

on his wrists. The little dog yelped and ran into the bedroom. Jase just stood there, unable to

move, with his eyes bulging from their sockets. Before Jase had a chance to say a word, a third

man in a dark suit on the other side of the door grabbed Jase’s arms and handcuffed him.

“What’s going on?” Jase shouted. “What the fuck is this?”

The guy in the dark suit standing behind Luis pulled a badge out of his pocket and said,

“NYPD.”

Luis looked back and forth a few times. “What’s this about, officer?”

“We’re taking you to the station,” the cop said. “We have reason to believe you’ve been

involved in a large narcotics ring with a man named Derrick Stutsman.”

“Derrick was dealing drugs?” Luis asked. “That nice little old man? Why, I only went to

look at real estate listings with him. I had no idea he was a drug dealer.”

“Turns out that the nice little old man was dealing drugs by leaving them stashed in

empty apartments all over the city in your dirty sweat socks,” the cop said. “He’d leave them

there, and his accomplice would pick them up later.”

Luis and Jase looked at each other. Luis shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

“Real estate agents making drug deals? Dirty sweat socks?” Jase asked. It all seemed

surreal.

“Sweat socks and underwear,” the cop said. “He left the drugs in empty apartments and

condos for other real estate agents.” He pointed to Luis. “He wrapped them in this guy’s dirty

socks and underwear.”

“Well, how do you like that?” Luis said. He sounded annoyed. “He wasn’t into my socks

after all. He just wanted them to stash his drugs. If I ever see him again, I’m going to give him a

piece of my mind.”

“Please stop talking,” Jase said. “We’ll straighten this all out at the police station.”

The other cop started to read Luis his rights.

“I don’t even take aspirin,” Luis said. “And I don’t think selling my used sweat socks and

underpants to an old man is a crime. I just thought he was a collector.” Then he looked at Jase.

“Jase, do something. I’ve never been involved in drugs or anything else that’s illegal. They can’t

arrest me for something I didn’t do. Can they?”

Jase knew Luis well enough by then to know he wasn’t a drug dealer. “Calm down,” he

said. “I’ll take care of this. It’s just a misunderstanding.” Then he turned to the cop next to him

and asked, “Why am I handcuffed? I only met the man once.”

“We’re taking you down for questioning,” the cop said.

* * * *

When the police carted them down the stairs, poor Mr. Gordon stood on his landing and

pressed his palm to his chest. “That’s it,” he shouted. “I want you both out of my building. No

more nice guy here. I run a quiet building and I don’t want anything to do with police or

criminals. I’ve had it.” Then he placed his palms over his ears and shouted, “And no more

noise.”

By the time the police dragged them into the station, there were a few photographers and

reporters snapping photos and shouting questions. Jase went up to the desk and asked if he could

place a call to his attorney while Luis stood in the background and posed for the photographers.

He smiled and batted his eyelids, acting both innocent and surprised. In spite of the handcuffs

around his wrists, he answered their questions as if he were walking down the red carpet for an

awards ceremony.

But he stopped smiling when he heard Jase shout at the cop behind the desk. “I’m not

playing games,” Jase said. His voice was deep and even; his expression was blank and stoic.

“My name is Jase Nicholas, of Nicholas Virgin Enterprises, and I demand a phone call to my

attorney, Jared Swartzman. You have no reason to hold me here in handcuffs. My wallet and my

ID are in my back pocket. I was traveling today and I have my passport there, too.”

When Jase mentioned the name Jared Swartzman, the room went silent. Jared Swartzman

was one of the most revered lawyers in the country. He’d just won a high-profile case involving

a famous celebrity that people were still talking about. And when one of the cops pulled his

passport and wallet out of Jase’s pocket, he looked it over and said, “Looks like he’s telling the

truth. He is, in fact, Jase Nicholas.”

The cops looked back and forth at each other. The cop behind the desk shouted, “Get

those handcuffs off him now.”

After a moment of silence, one reporter moved forward and asked, “Are you the Jase

Nicholas? Jase Nicholas, The Virgin Billionaire?”

Jase nodded at him and said, “That’s exactly who I am. And if I don’t get a phone this

minute, I’m going to sue the city and I’ll have everyone in this room terminated. I’m a personal

friend of the mayor, and I don’t think he’d like knowing that one of his friends was treated this

way for no reason at all.” He gestured to Luis. “And as far as I can see, you don’t have any

evidence to prove he was involved.”

The cops looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. The photographers started

taking pictures and the reporters shouted questions.

Luis laughed and shook his head. Evidently, he was the only one who didn’t believe Jase

was telling the truth. “Stop fooling around, Jase,” he said. “You’re only going to get us into more

trouble and we haven’t done anything wrong. I’ll call Melvin. He’ll get a lawyer and everything

will be okay.”

Jase shrugged. “I’m not fooling around,” he said. “I’m Jase Nicholas, The Virgin

Billionaire.” He looked into Luis’s eyes.

“And I’m Prince William,” Luis said, waving an invisible cigarette; speaking with a bad

Bette Davis accent.

Jase lowered his eyes and his voice softened. “I’m The Virgin Billionaire. I’ve been

living on the Upper West Side because I wanted to find out what it would be like to be

anonymous. I wanted to find out who I really was. I’ve been so high profile for so many years

I’d forgotten what it was like to be just a normal person.” He was speaking to Luis, not the rest

of them. He didn’t care what they thought.

Luis blinked. “You’re actually the Jase Nicholas? The guy who started Virgin Alaskan

Spring Water, then went on to start all those other multi-billion-dollar companies?” He leaned

forward and looked closer. “The Virgin Billionaire has long hair and a beard. He looks like a

renegade from the 1960s. I’ve seen photos in magazines and I’ve seen him on talk shows. He

was invited to the Queen of England’s jubilee celebration and he sat with Sir Elton John.”

Jase lifted his eyebrows. “I had my hair cut short and I shaved so no one would recognize

me,” he said. “I tried to tell you the truth in the library that day. But you wouldn’t listen. You

blew me off for Melvin. You told me you were moving to Vancouver. I was planning to tell you

tonight, but here we are.”

Luis took a step back. He lowered his eyebrows and clenched his fists. “I see,” he said.

“I’ll bet you had a good time slumming it these past few months with me. I’ll bet you had more

than a few good laughs at my expense, Mr. Virgin Billionaire.”

Jase’s jaw dropped. “You don’t see. You don’t understand. I never laughed at you. I’m in

love with you. I wanted to tell you many times, but it never seemed right.”

“I would have found out anyway,” Luis said, leaning forward. “I would have seen photos

of you and read things about you eventually.” He spread his arms apart and tilted his head. “All

you had to do was tell me the truth. I wasn’t after your money. With you, it was never about

money.”

Jase gulped. He lowered his eyes and stared down at the floor. “I had to be sure. You

don’t understand what I was going through. People are always trying to get to know me because

of my money. I never know who I can trust.”

Everyone stopped moving, and the room went silent. Jase had just come out of the closet

in front of a room full of cops, reporters, and photographers, and he couldn’t have cared less. The

only thing he cared about was what Luis thought. He knew he’d made a mistake by not telling

him the truth, and now he was determined to fix it.

Luis lifted his chin and look directly into Jase’s eyes. A single tear trickled down the

right side of his face. “Ah well, I understand more than you think I do, Mr. Virgin Billionaire.

I’m not as dumb as I look.” Then he turned to the cop on his right and said, “Get me out of here.

I don’t care where you take me. Just get me away from this man as fast as you can. If you don’t,

I think I’m going to throw up all over your shoes.”

When they heard he was going to throw up, they grabbed his arms and pulled him down a

long hallway to the back end of the station. The reporters and photographers started shouting and

taking photos of Jase, completely ignoring Luis. The cop behind the desk handed Jase a

telephone and apologized for the way he’d been treated.

But Jase wasn’t listening to them. It felt as if his heart had fallen into his stomach, and his

head was pounding so fast he felt dizzy. When he thought about the expression on Luis’s face as

they dragged him away, he had to clench his fists to maintain his composure.

Chapter Seventeen

After Luis placed a fast call to Melvin, they carted him off to his jail cell. His head was

down and his shoulders slumped. He shuffled his feet and tried hard to focus on where he was

going. The other inmates jumped up from their beds and watched him walk by. Some shouted

lewd comments about his ass and other body parts, some shook their fists in the air, and a few

stuck their fingers in their mouths and whistled. The one thing they all did at the same time was

smile. One guy with five o’clock shadow and a shaved head tried to stick his arm through the

bars to grab his leg. But his bicep was too large and he couldn’t reach.

Luis didn’t look up once. He stared at his feet and frowned. Their deep, husky groans

penetrated his ears; their individual voices came together to form a garbled cacophony that didn’t

make sense. Though he should have been thinking about what was happening to him, the only

thing he could think about was how Jase had deceived him.

In order to keep the other men quiet and to keep Luis safe, they put him in a remote cell

all by himself. It smelled of urine and disinfectant and unwashed men. When they closed the

door and locked him inside, he sat down on a narrow mattress and rested his back against the

cold cinderblock wall. For the rest of the night, he remained in this position listening to the

sound of his own breathing. The only other sounds he heard were either hollow metal clanks, or

boots clicking against the tiled floor in the hall.

He didn’t sleep. He didn’t get up to use the toilet in the corner of the room once. If he sat

still and didn’t touch anything he didn’t have to touch, he told himself he could remain clean. So

he sat there and worried about his little dog all alone in his apartment. At least the dog was safe.

He’d left him a bowl of food and a full bowl of water before he’d gone out that night. If the dog

made a mess in the apartment, Luis wouldn’t get mad at him.

When he stopped thinking about the dog, he starting thinking about the way Jase had

been deceiving him. Luis would have been the first one to admit that he’d never been the best

judge of character. He tended to trust people too much and he always believed what they told

him. Derrick had been a classic example. But it occurred to him that in the past it never really

mattered much, because he didn’t care whether or not people were lying to him. Most of the

people who came into his life didn’t matter enough. And if they were lying, their lies had no

influence or connection to his life.

With Jase, though, it had been different. Jase had mattered. He’d trusted Jase as much as

he’d trusted his own uncle. To find out in a public place in front of photographers and reporters

that Jase had been lying to him all that time, caused a lump in his throat that wouldn’t disappear.

His only consolation was his decision to go to Vancouver with Melvin. He’d had a few

reservations about moving all that way to be with Melvin up until then. But now he knew he’d

made the right decision. If he had listened to his heart instead of his head and gone with Jase, he

might have ruined what little was left of his life.

In the morning, a guard opened his door and told him he was free to leave.

“I am?” Luis asked. He was feeling better: stronger and more determined than ever to

change his life. He couldn’t wait to go back to his apartment for his dog and his luggage. He

couldn’t wait to get on that plane and get as far away from New York as possible. Though he

hadn’t been sure how he was going to get out of this mess, he had a feeling it would all work out.

When he’d called Melvin the night before and left a detailed voice message on Melvin’s phone,

he’d known Melvin would make things right. Stable, dependable, honest Melvin had been his

only consolation that night. Melvin would come to his rescue and everything would be all right

again.

“You just have to fill out a few forms and you’re free to go,” the guard said. “All charges

have been dropped.”

Luis lifted his chin and squared his shoulders. “Well, it’s about time,” he said. “There is

absolutely no excuse for locking up an innocent person. I should sue.” He wasn’t serious. He just

wanted to get out of there as fast as he could.

After he filled out the forms, he walked back to the main entrance and scanned the

reception area for Melvin. Instead of finding good old Melvin rubbing his large stomach, he

found Jase sitting at the end of a long row of gray vinyl chairs. He was sitting on the edge of the

seat, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. For a moment, Luis

stood still and wondered why Jase was there. He hadn’t expected to see him again after what had

happened the night before.

When Jase finally looked up, he smiled and said, “I’ve been waiting for you.” He stood

and walked toward him. “I have a car outside.” For some reason, he seemed more confident than

before.

Luis clenched his fists and looked in Jase’s eyes. “Why are you here? Where’s Melvin?”

“Let’s go to the car,” Jase said. His voice was even and his eyes were clear and steady.

“I’ll explain everything.”

Jase led him outside to a large black town car parked at the curb. It was a dark, wet day.

The rain was coming down so hard they were soaked by the time they reached the end of the

sidewalk. A tall driver in a black suit was waiting to open the back door for them. He was

holding a large black umbrella but it wasn’t doing much good because his dark pants were

drenched. When the driver opened the door, Luis went in first and Jase followed. When Luis sat

down, he saw a small Louis Vuitton dog carrier on the floor and he heard his dog bark twice.

He’d know his dog’s bark anywhere. It was a distinct noise that was a cross between a yelp and

an actual bark.

Luis unzipped the bag and pulled the dog out. He held him on his lap and hugged him.

“There you are, dog. I’ve been worried about you.”

The dog barked again, jumped up, and licked Luis right on the lips.

While the driver sat down behind the steering wheel, Luis turned to Jase and asked,

“Why is dog here?” His voice remained cool and even. At first, he wanted to confront and ask

why Jase had lied to him. But it didn’t really matter anymore. He was on his way to start a whole

new life and Jase was insignificant now.

Jase pushed a dripping wet shock of hair back and wiped his forehead. “After I spoke to

my attorney, I went back to your apartment to get him. Mr. Gordon was standing out in the hall,

tapping his foot. I’ve never seen him so mad. He said he wanted us both out of the building and

he was changing the locks this week. I tried to explain, but he wouldn’t listen. So I got the dog

and I picked up the suitcases you had in your bedroom.”

“Your attorney?” Luis asked. He thought Melvin’s attorney had taken care of things.

“I called my own attorney late last night,” Jase said. “He had all the charges dismissed

based on insufficient evidence. He’s the best in the country, and I pay him well to do his job.”

Luis knew he should have thanked Jase for doing this. But he didn’t. He was trying to

process everything. Besides, after the way Jase had lied to him, getting him out of jail was the

least he could do. After all, Luis hadn’t done anything wrong in the first place.

“Mr. Gordon has no right to throw me out in the street,” Luis said. “I’m paid until the end

of this month.”

“I’m afraid there’s no talking to him,” Jase said. “Mr. Gordon was adamant.”

Luis kissed his dog on the top of the head and said, “Well, it doesn’t really matter. I was

leaving this morning anyway. Did you get all my bags?”

Jase nodded. “They’re in the trunk.” Then he leaned forward and told the driver, “Trump

Towers, please.”

“Trump Towers?” Luis asked. “Why are we going to Trump Towers? I’m going to the

airport.” It was getting late. He didn’t want to miss his flight to Vancouver.

“I keep an apartment there,” Jase said. “It’s the best place for now. We’re both all over

the newspapers. We need to keep a low profile for a while.”

“But I’m going to Vancouver this morning,” Luis said. “I’m adamant.” He liked this new

word. He had a feeling it was going to stick with him for a while.

Jase leaned to his left and pulled a note from his back pocket. He handed it to Luis and

said, “Last night while I was leaving your apartment with the dog, Melvin stopped by to drop off

this note. He was going to slide it under the door, but then he saw me. He didn’t say much other

than he got your voice mail. He just handed me the note and said, ‘I have a reputation to consider.

I come from a prominent family in Vancouver.’”

Luis’s stomach tightened. He handed the note back to Jase and said, “I can’t read it. You

do it.” All at once, the familiar feeling of disappointment began to seep into his body and it left

him feeling exhausted.

Jase took a deep breath and opened the envelope. He looked at Luis, then looked down at

the note. “It says, ‘My dearest Luis, you’re a good kid with a good heart. I know you’ll forgive

me for this eventually and you’ll move on with your life. It just wouldn’t work out. I’m too old

to change my ways. I have a reputation and a family to consider, and your recent publicity

regarding this known drug dealer wouldn’t bode well with them. Please don’t be angry, and

please find it in your heart to forgive me. I wish you the very best, Melvin.’”

Luis’s chest tightened. He leaned forward and wiped a tear from his eye. “I guess I just

can’t win,” he said. He made a fist and pounded the seat cushion. “Damn it. I should have

expected this. Guys like Melvin don’t want to be associated with guys like me unless it’s on the

down low.” Then he bit his bottom lip and wiped more tears from his eyes. “I keep setting

myself up for it all the time. Melvin is just like all the rest, including you.”

“That’s not true,” Jase said, reaching forward to put his arm around Luis to comfort him.

“Melvin was nice enough to explain. You can’t blame the guy for being honest. And I didn’t

desert you. I’m here.” He slapped his chest. “I’m not the invisible man.”

Luis jerked away. “Of course it’s true. And don’t you talk about honesty. Isn’t that the

reason why you lied to me? Isn’t that the reason you didn’t tell me you’re The Virgin Billionaire?

Give me some credit: I may be a loser but I’m not an idiot. The only mistake I made with you

was sleeping with you. I never did that with the others.”

“I didn’t lie to you,” Jase said. “I was going to tell you the truth but you wouldn’t let me.

And, as I recall, I didn’t have to force you to sleep with me. You had my pants down around my

ankles before I could stop you, and you weren’t complaining.”

The driver cleared his throat and gripped the wheel tighter.

Luis didn’t reply. Jase was right; he’d enjoyed the sex they’d shared and he’d wanted it

just as much as Jase. But he still felt like punching the backseat of the car. “Then why didn’t you

tell me who you were right from the beginning?” Luis asked. “You had plenty of chances. You

could have at least told me before you got into my pants.”

The driver pressed his palm to his chest and rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t know who I was yet,” Jase said. “I’ve lived half my life in the closet, terrified to

come out because of what people would think. I only rented the apartment in your building so I

could drop out of sight for a while and get to know myself. I had no idea I was going to meet you

and fall in love with you. It was the last thing I expected. I just thought I’d take some time off to

learn how to be gay. And I couldn’t do it unless I dropped out of sight for a while and kept my

identity hidden. I know it sounds lame. But for men like me, it’s not easy to openly admit we’re

gay.”

“No one cares if you’re gay nowadays,” Luis said. “Stop making excuses.”

“Seriously,” Jase said, lowering his voice. “What fucking planet do you live on? The

Planet of Celestial Hope and Goodness? I have two close female friends who have been a couple

for more than twenty years. They have no idea I’m gay. At least, not yet they don’t. One is an

employee of mine and the other is a schoolteacher about to retire. The schoolteacher took her

partner to her retirement party this past June. This was a big thing for them, because it’s the first

time they’ve ever gone out in public together, in a professional situation, as a gay couple. No one

knew she was gay or that she had a partner all those years, and she was a teacher. Coming out

would have been too risky.”

Luis sat back and folded his arms across his chest. He pouted and thought about what

Jase had said. He’d been living such a carefree open lifestyle in Manhattan it hadn’t occurred to

him there were still thousands of other gay people in America who didn’t have the luxury of

being as openly gay as he’d always been. For some gays, not coming out of the closet merely

meant they were missing out on a lot of fun and great sex. For others, not coming out of the

closet meant they were protecting their livelihoods, their families, and their jobs. Luis, like most

of his other vapid, clueless friends, had never had anything to lose by being openly gay.

“But I don’t want to live my life hiding anymore,” Jase said. “I love you and I want to be

with you.”

“Stop telling me you love me,” Luis said. “I don’t want to be loved by you or anyone else

for that matter. I want something stable in my life, not love.” Then he leaned forward and tapped

the driver on the shoulder. “Please take me to LaGuardia,” he said.

“LaGuardia?” Jase asked.

“I don’t care if Melvin dumped me,” Luis said. “I have a free ticket to Vancouver and

I’m going to use it. I’m getting out of this town and I’m starting over. New York has a way of

knocking people down and smashing them, and I’m not going to let it happen to me. The minute

I get to Vancouver, I’m going to find a list of the richest men in town and I’m going after them

one by one. This time I’ll get one who’ll appreciates me. And I’ll do whatever I have to do to get

him, too.”

“Luis,” Jase said, “I’m not going to let you do this.”

Luis laughed. “You don’t have anything to say about it. It’s not your concern.” He

laughed in Jase’s face.

Jase rubbed his jaw. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since the first day I

met you. And I have more money than anyone in Vancouver.”

“But you lied to me,” Luis said. “You can’t be trusted. And, just so you know, I’m not

interested in your money. There are plenty of nice men out there with money.” For the first time

in his life, money didn’t matter to him. He’d rather be poor than have someone make a fool out

of him twice. “At least I knew where I stood with Melvin and the others. With you, there’s no

telling what to think.”

“I love you,” Jase said. His voice grew deeper and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Who cares?” Luis smiled and adjusted his position.

“I care,” Jase said. “And I want you to be with me. I want to share my life with you. Even

though we can’t get married legally, I want to live with you as if we were a married couple.”

Part of him desperately wanted to believe Jase was telling the truth. The love Jase was

talking about had been the thing Luis had loved most about Elena’s blog. For a second, he even

felt safe and warm.

But Luis wasn’t going to let anyone stomp him into the ground again. He was tired of

setting himself up, only to be disappointed in the end. So he took a quick breath and looked Jase

in the eye. “I don’t believe in happy endings,” he said. “Maybe there’s a reason why gays can’t

legally get married, and that’s because they aren’t set up to spend the rest of their lives with one

person. They try hard, but they never last for more than a few years at the most. I read an article

about it in Time magazine once. It was written by a respected gay journalist, too.”

Jase waved his arm. “You don’t believe that and you know it. And any gay journalist

who’d write something as stupid as that in Time deserves a good old-fashioned kick in the ass,

and then he deserves to be fired on the spot.”

Luis’s eyebrows shot up and he tapped the driver on the shoulder. He wasn’t fooling

around and he was determined to prove this to Jase. “Pull over,” he said. “Stop the car.”

When the driver pulled over, Luis reached across Jase’s lap and opened the back door.

The rain was coming down in heavy sheets by then. It pounded the roof and slid down the

windows. The car had stopped in front of an alley between two brick buildings. The dark alley

was strewn with discarded boxes and trash cans. Luis grabbed his little dog and said, “We’ll

show him how tough we are, dog. This looks like a good place for you to start all over again.

You’ll be just fine.” Then he pushed the dog out of the car and into the gutter. For a moment, his

heart sank. The poor little hairless Chinese Crested ran between two trash cans and cowered. His

thin body trembled with fear and the shaggy mop of blond hair on his head became drenched

with rain.

Luis bit his bottom lip and slammed the door shut. He sat back in his seat and said, “Let’s

go. I don’t want to miss my plane.” His voice was even but his hands felt shaky.

When the car pulled away, Jase didn’t speak. His face tightened and he clenched his fists

on his lap. And at the end of the next city block, he leaned forward and said, “Driver, pull over

here. I’m getting out.”

When the car pulled over, Jase got out. Before he slammed the door, he bent down and

said, “Go ahead, run to Vancouver. I know what it’s like to run. I ran from who I was all my life,

but I just kept running into myself again in the end. And that’s what you’re going to do, trust me.

No matter where you go or how far you run, you can’t run away from yourself. I don’t claim to

know all the answers, and if I could go back now and change things by telling you who I was

right from the start, I’d do it. But I can’t. I can no more change what happened between us than I

can change who and what I am. And for the first time in my life I’m happy about who I am. I’m

not hiding anymore and I’m ready to face the world. Even if I don’t get a happy ending, I’m

going to try as hard as I can to find one. Because I think gays are set up to live together as

married couples and share their lives just like straight couples. I feel sorry for you, Luis.”

Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box. He tossed the

box on Luis’s lap and said, “I’ve been carrying this around since the day you blew me off for

Melvin in the library. Here. I don’t want it anymore.” Then he slammed the door as hard as he

could.

When he was gone, Luis picked up the box and looked inside. It was a small gold

wedding band. He exhaled and turned the ring over. There was an engraving that read, A Week

with 4 Thursdays. He sniffed and wiped another tear from his eye. When he slipped the ring onto

his ring finger and saw it was a perfect fit, his hands and lips actually started to tremble.

Luis looked out the back window, but it was raining too hard to see anything clearly. He

stared at the door and bit the inside of this cheek. All at once, he realized that if he continued

living the same way he’d been living his life, he’d never be happy and he’d never be complete.

So he pushed the door open and ran out into the street. While the rain soaked his body, he jogged

back to the alley where he’d left his little dog. Maybe, just once, it wasn’t too late for him.

Maybe, just once, there was a chance for a happy ending.

When he reached the spot where he’d dropped the dog off, Jase was standing on the

sidewalk looking into the dark alley. When Luis heard Jase shout, “dog,” he crossed in front of

him and ran into the alley. His face was wet from rain and tears and his vision was blurred. If he

didn’t find the dog he’d never forgive himself for what he’d done.

“Here, dog,” he shouted, as he looked back and forth at the back end of the alley. “C’mon,

dog,” he said.

But he couldn’t find him anywhere. Luis’s heart began to beat fast and a feeling of doom

swept through his body. As he was about to turn back and shrug his shoulders at Jase, he looked

down between two dented, rusted trash cans and saw the little dog shivering against the brick

wall. He was curled up into a ball, so terrified it looked as if he couldn’t even move.

Luis went down on his knees in a deep puddle and scooped the wet dog up in his arms.

He held him as close to his body as he could to keep him warm and safe. Though the dog was

still shaking, he lifted his head and licked Luis’s lips. “I’m so sorry, dog. I’ll never let you go

again. I promise. Never again.”

For a minute or two, he remained in the puddle and cradled the dog in his arms. His chest

heaved and tears rolled down his face. When he finally stood up and turned, Jase was still

standing on the sidewalk. His clothes were drenched and his hair was soaked. Luis could see

drops of water dripping from the tip of his nose. But he was still there; he hadn’t left. He stood

with his hands in his pockets, with his lips pressed together, forming a gentle smile.

And Luis knew that if he lived to be one hundred years old and he forgot every other

significant event that had ever happened to him in his life, he’d never forget the way Jase looked

at that very moment.

Luis pressed the dog to his chest and ran over to Jase. When he was standing in front of

him, he looked into Jase’s eyes and smiled. “I do love you,” he said. “I do want to share the rest

of my life with you. I don’t want to run anymore.”

Jase put his arms around him and pulled him up against his body. “We’re safe now.” The

dog was between them. He stuck his small tongue out and licked Luis’s cheek first, and then he

licked Jase’s ear.

Without caring who was watching, Jase lowered his head and kissed him. When Jase did

this, Luis reached into his pocket and pulled out his plane ticket to Vancouver. He released the

ticket and a gust of wind blew up in the air, where it spun in a circle above his head. Then it went

down into the gutter and landed in a long, narrow puddle next to the curb. While the ticket

floated down the street and disappeared in a larger, darker puddle, Jase lifted Luis and the dog

into his arms and carried them both to the long black town car that had just pulled up to the curb.

THE END