Fanfiction Based On Characters From Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Series
Rated MA for Mature Adult
Bound To A Secret 2
-Full Circle-
By Struckatthesky
Summary: Sequel to Bound To A Secret. OOC. B&E.
~*~~*~~*~
Prologue
BPOV
The muffled sound of the soles of my boots hitting the tile in Carlisle‘s apartment building was
the only thing I could focus on. Every breath slowed me down, every movement added to the
raging burn throughout my body.
Yes, I was burning again. It was the real deal this time.
My skin was taking on an odd pallor, the violet hue of a corpse, before the color began leeching
away into the perfect pale of vampire skin.
Elizabeth told me this would happen. I missed her sage wisdom already, not having time to
mourn her death at the moment.
I need to get to Carlisle.
His apartment was on the top floor as I recalled in ancient memories from a life that seemed too
far away. When one has lived the future and was given the chance to do it over again, things
become a jumbled mess.
Two more flights, Bella, you can do this!
A roaring sound overwhelmed me and I leaned against the balustrade of the stairs, hoping it
would pass. Roaring and gurgling… I realized I was hearing the water gushing through the
radiators throughout the building. The more I focused, the more I heard: whispers through the
apartment doors, the even breathing of slumbering tenants, the gulping sound of someone taking
a drink. This was all too much for me. Apparently the heightened senses began before my heart
stopped beating.
I took a deep breath and forged ahead, knowing that the end was soon. It was close to three days
since I had torn myself from Edward‘s side at Elizabeth‘s request. She told me that I knew what
to expect and that I would be fine and only to come find Carlisle on the eve of the final night.
I waited alone in the Masen‘s home, the familiar sting beginning at my pulse points, turning into
an excruciating burn rushing through my veins. I kept quiet, tying myself to the promise of an
eternity with Edward to get me through. He was the one and only reason I didn‘t throw myself
from the balcony at the onslaught of this pain.
The machinations of my human body were exhausted, as I pushed my weakened limbs to their
limit, trying to get to Carlisle‘s apartment.
One more floor…
The pain was lessening in my extremities. The venom was racing towards the end, to my heart,
in its quest to turn me into a blood-lusting creature. The oddity of Edward‘s venom being in me
when he wasn‘t even changed yet was going to be a tricky situation to explain.
Well, Carlisle, Edward bit me ninety years in the future, and when you bit him a few days ago, it
activated Edward’s future-venom in my veins, causing me to become a vamp as well.
I had a feeling that my convoluted explanation wasn‘t going to go over well. I wasn‘t supposed
to say anything about the future anyway, only of the curse and what Elizabeth had shared. I had
my story rehearsed; now I only needed my audience to believe me. Surely Carlisle would once
he saw that I was changing as well with no scars to show that I had been bitten.
I made it to the 5th floor and it took all I had to make my legs move towards the apartment at the
end of the hall. Seeing Carlisle‘s door filled me with a simultaneous sense of relief and dread.
The only thing I could hope for was that he answered.
With borrowed strength, I knocked on the door and waited. I focused a bit and heard Edward‘s
whimpers of pain and the minute shuffling of fabric as Carlisle walked towards the door quietly.
I would have never been able to discriminate those sounds with solely human ears.
I waited a few more moments, realizing he wasn‘t going to answer, so I tried speaking this time.
―Carlisle, my name is Isabella Swan. You‘re the only one who can help me now. I know that
you‘re a vampire and that you have Edward Masen. He‘s almost finished changing and so have
I,‖ I whispered close to inaudibly, knowing he would hear me anyway.
A quiet gasp issued from Carlisle and the small snick-sound of the lock being undone was too
loud for my liking. The door cracked open and Carlisle poked his head out, his eyes raking over
me, widening in shock.
―Will you help me now?‖ My breath was labored and coming in shallow gasps from the exertion
of walking up the stairs. I was just so damn tired.
Carlisle allowed me inside, promptly closing the door and locking it behind us. My knees
buckled a bit and I grabbed the edge of an armchair, the same one I had seen through Edward‘s
eyes in another time, to steady myself.
―Please, sit,‖ Carlisle said, looking worried and very much confused.
―Can I see him?‖ My voice was becoming weaker with each passing minute. It never really
occurred to me that my body was going through the motions of dying. My mind knew that I
would be a perfect creature in the end with uninhibited strength and a body that never tired but
my organs didn‘t know that though, especially my heart, as they took my last reserve of strength
to fight against the venom in my blood.
I collapsed in the chair, trembling from the pain. ―This really hurts,‖ I growled out through
gritted teeth. How much longer?
Carlisle watched me with an inquisitive gaze, obviously bewildered. ―Were you attacked?‖
―No.‖
―You were the girl from the hospital, the one with the Masen‘s correct?‖
―Yes, that was me.‖
―You called me by my first name.‖
I was beginning to get irritated. ―I heard it from one of the nurse‘s.‖
―I see.‖
He cocked an eyebrow and went to reach for my wrist, but I flinched, anger searing through me
and a strange growling sound left my throat. That scared the hell out of me. ―I‘ve never done
that…‖
―You‘re eyes are already red, Isabella. It won‘t be long now.‖
I focused on the pain; taking note that my legs and arms felt fine yet the fire seemed concentrated
somehow in my chest. My rapidly beating heart was thudding in painful spasms, like the blood
was too thick to pass through the chambers. I stood on quivering legs, willing them to not give
out. I had to get to Edward.
He was lying on the bed, the sheet surrounding his body drenched with sweat. He was writhing
against it, low whimpers escaping his throat, seemingly delirious to his surroundings. I crawled
in next to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Oddly enough, he calmed a bit at my
touch. ―I‘m here, Edward. I love you.‖
―Bella, I think I‘m dying. I don‘t know what‘s happening… I, my heart, yes, my heart…‖
My eyes prickled as if they wanted to cry, but I couldn‘t. I knew Edward was going to be just
fine but it still pained me so to see him hurting. ―We‘ll be alright, Edward. It‘ll go away in a little
while.‖
A little while… My heart was racing faster, a constant vibration in my chest. My sense of time
was unparalleled as I counted 205 beats per minute. 208… 215… The pain was almost
unbearable now. I clung to Edward and he clung to me as our hearts raced towards the end, the
fire burning our last shred of humanity.
I cried out as a dull reverberating thud sounded off one final time and the pain disappeared,
leaving a deafening silence in its wake. My heart had stopped. Edward drew in a breath, as did I
even though I got no satisfaction from the act, and I could taste the air around me. Edward‘s
scent was concentrated, like the sweetest summer rain and lilacs and sun and honey; perfection in
a scent.
I looked at Edward and gasped at his beauty. His hair was as bronze as ever and his skin glittered
in the silvery moonlight. His perfect nose and lips, the sharp jaw line, the taught muscles in his
arms; he was too beautiful for words.
He turned towards me, his mouth falling open, and his ruby eyes widened in fear. He pulled
away quickly with a defensive snarl and my heart broke, figuratively, that he would react to me
that way.
―Bella! – your eyes!‖
He wasn‘t prepared for the crimson irises in the way that I was. I was at an advantage as far as
this situation went and I had to help him. I stood quickly, taking in my surroundings, noticing
every flaw and every scent. My movements were measured and precise: perfect.
―Don‘t worry, Edward. Carlisle and I will explain everything.‖
―I don‘t understand, Bella. Were you sick too?‖ Edward‘s eyes were flickering around the room
quickly. I’m not used to the senses either, Edward.
―No, Edward, I didn‘t get sick.‖ In fact, I was perfectly fine. Nothing hurt, nothing was tired, and
nothing seemed too hard a feat for this new body. It was hard to focus when everything was
catching my attention. Prisms of color, different scents and flavors in the air, the imperfections in
what my human eyes would deem perfect; it was exhilarating. But not for Edward, he didn‘t
know what was happening like I did.
―Bella is my fiancé,‖ Edward said indignantly, finally coming to my side again. ―Of course I can
hear you.‖
I was startled for a second until I realized Edward‘s gift was becoming apparent. Carlisle looked
a bit perplexed, maybe even fascinated, so I decided to give him the details. ―Edward is a mind
reader.‖
―I can‘t read minds! You‘re head is completely quiet.‖ Edward was looking at me as if I were
foreign to him. I know this is hard, Edward. It’ll just take some time to get used to everything.
―You can‘t hear mine, Edward. It‘s shielded from you.‖ But I can still hear yours.
―How do you know this, Isabella? Or do you prefer Bella?‖ Carlisle asked weary at the sight of
two newborn vampires in his bedroom I‘m sure.
―Calling me Bella is fine, thank you. I have a little story to tell you, Carlisle. Do you have the
time?‖ His eyes were so golden and his face so innately good, things I‘d never really noticed
before.
―Please tell me what‘s going on! My throat is… burning…‖ Edward‘s smooth voice was so
beautiful and terrified at the same time.
―It‘s thirst, Edward.‖ My own throat was gritty and burning, a seemingly insatiable craving
raging in the back of my mind. I knew from the past that Edward would have a much harder time
with this issue. I was surprised at how easily I could suppress it.
―I need to get some water.‖ It was so strange how closely he mimicked the future I had lived but
was now changing.
―Water won‘t satiate your thirst.‖
―What do you mean? Water is the best thing for thirst.‖ I stood back and watched as he grabbed
the glass sitting on the nightstand, his immeasurable strength shattering it into tiny shards. ―I
didn‘t… I‘m sorry…‖
―It‘s alright,‖ Carlisle said from the corner.
―I don‘t know how… I don‘t understand.‖
―Well, Edward, we‘re both vampires.‖ I figured I might as well get that out of the way. Beating
around the bush would not help matters.
―That‘s incredulous, Bella. Vampires don‘t exist,‖ he scoffed, disregarding what I said.
I really didn‘t like that. ―Yes, they do, and yes, we are.‖
Edward looked hurt by my icy words and I immediately felt bad. These new emotions were so
consuming. ―I‘m sorry, Edward. You just have to trust me.‖
―This is just impossible.‖
I used the words that Carlisle had said before, in a different time, to make him see. ―Have you
not noticed that your heart no longer beats or that you can see perfectly clear yet it is night and
there are no lights on?‖
I watched as Edward checked his pulse, his movements so close to what they had been the first
time this had happened. I saw his confusion and understood. The only thing I could offer him
now was the solace found in knowing we would be alright. ―We‘ll be fine, Edward. We‘re just
vampires now. Immortals.‖
―Is this true?‖ Edward asked Carlisle tersely.
Carlisle must have answered him through his mind because Edward backed up against the wall,
pinching the bridge of his nose. He only did that when he was frustrated or faced with a no-win
situation.
―I can‘t even… fathom…‖
He let his sentence fade. I and Edward too, caught a scent too delicious to describe. My throat
burned and my senses spun out in a frenzy and before I knew it, Edward and I were racing
towards the door, the lovely sound of a wet, beating heart filling my ears.
He growled at me instinctively which broke my concentration and I stopped. ―Edward, no!‖
I wrapped my arms around him, the strength in my arms unyielding. He snapped at me and I
snarled, tackling him down to the wood floor. ―You have to fight it, Edward. This isn‘t the way.‖
―What is it?‖ he growled out.
―Blood.‖ I felt sorry for the human out in the hall that was almost killed twice in this time warp.
Horror filled his eyes and I let him go once I felt him stiffen. ―Blood?‖
―We‘re vampires. No lie, no joke, it‘s the truth.‖
Edward crawled into the corner and wrapped his arms around his knees, shaking his head from
side to side. It hurt to see him like this, but I knew it would be hard for him to swallow this
reality. I was already prepared for that. I almost cracked a smile at that thought. I had the upper
hand this time around.
I crawled over to Edward and took his angelic face between my hands, pressing a kiss to his
quivering lips. ―I love you, Edward. I know this is hard, but we‘re together. We can do anything
as long as we‘re here for one another.‖
Edward looked at me and his eyes were lost. I hugged him tightly and he murmured into my
chest, ―I love you too, Bella. I‘m just scared.‖
―I know you are, but we can get through this.‖
I held Edward for a few more moments, offering what little comfort I could. He seemed to calm
down, his resolve strengthening, as I hummed my lullaby to him. I liked that my voice was
smoother now, due to the changes the venom brought about in my body.
―How did you stop yourself?‖ Carlisle finally spoke aloud, looking at me. He‘d been surprisingly
quiet for the most part.
―He growled at me.‖ I motioned to Edward. It was that simple.
―Aren‘t you thirsty as well?‖
Well, yes, now that you mention it… ―I know what to expect. The burn in my throat, the enticing
scent of blood, the speed, the strength, the sight, the smell, the hearing; we‘re the world‘s
greatest predators.‖
―How do you know this? And better yet, how are you even a newborn?‖
I chuckled and pulled myself and Edward up to stand in front of him. ―Well, Carlisle, I think you
may have heard about this. Diligo Cruor Vomica… it‘s real.‖
It was almost satisfactory to watch Carlisle put his hand over his mouth, looking back and forth
between Edward and me. Even Edward had a look of wonder on his face. This was going to be
very interesting.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter One
Book One: Esme
1920
BPOV
Two and a half years ago today to be exact…
It was strange explaining my story to not only Carlisle, but Edward as well. I didn‘t tell them of
the future we had lived together in another life, which was my secret to keep. Carlisle had simply
looked back and forth at Edward and me, shaking his head in disbelief.
―I heard about this from Alistair when I spent time in Italy,” Carlisle said, rubbing his temples
as if it helped him process this.
―It’s not exclusive to Elizabeth’s bloodline, but it has happened to all the women since. She
thought that Edward would be different with him being a male but obviously that wasn’t true. I
don’t know why, but Edward and I seem to be different obviously, because I changed as well.” I
felt the sudden twist of guilt in the pit of my stomach at lying to the both of them, but it was better
off this way. I was suddenly glad that Jasper would be one of the last Cullens to arrive, so that
my emotions wouldn’t give me away in this quest to build a family.
―My mother saw destiny?” Edward’s voice was weak and filled with emotion. I could see the
gears of his mind churning, memories that once befuddled him now making sense.
―Your mother was an amazing woman, Edward. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t know what I do
and I wouldn’t have been able to find you.”
Carlisle sighed and nodded his head. “She told me that what only I could do, that’s what I must
do for her son. It unnerved me so and when she passed not even an hour later, I knew what I had
to do.”
―I can’t believe she and my father are gone.”
―They’re fine, Edward. I believe with my whole heart that they’re together now, in a place where
pain and suffering do not exist. Mortality is a brutal thing to endure most of the time and they’re
alright now.” I had never given much thought to my religious beliefs, but how could I not believe
in a higher power with the way my life had panned out?
―Thank you,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Bella.”
―What do you have to be sorry about?”
He looked at me with sad, vibrant red eyes. “For loving you and making you a monster as well.”
I vowed to myself in that moment to try to break Edward of his melodramatic habits, even if it
took me a few centuries. “Edward, please don’t be like that. There are benefits to this life. We
won’t have to watch each other grow old and feeble, deteriorating with each passing year. We
have forever to get to know one another and make memories that will last for an eternity. This
doesn’t have to end. I like earth, and I like that I get to be a part of it, having you with me. We
don’t have to worry about sickness and pain. Please don’t think I’m upset over this, because I
assure you that I’m not.”
―Do you promise?”
I leaned over and kissed his forehead. “I promise you that I am not upset over this. I get to keep
you forever and nothing can keep us apart anymore.” And that was the truth.
We all decided as a trio, Carlisle, Edward, and I, to stay in Chicago for awhile so Edward could
rightfully inherit his parent‘s estate. It was like a blessing, getting the home and money, not to
mention the money from selling off his father‘s banks. Edward was torn up about that, but I had
talked him through it, agreeing with Carlisle that it would be too hard for him to keep them
running when we had to inevitably move on.
As for my parents, that was a much more difficult thing to contend with. Carlisle found the body
of a homeless girl around my age who had passed from the influenza in an alley, and we made a
decision to have her cremated under my name instead of dying without an identity. I chose a few
personal items to send with the ashes to my parents so they had something to keep from me. It
was a very painful event, but it was better in a way, to give them closure. The first time around, I
had just left without notice, leaving a letter behind. Now they could hopefully heal from my
‗death‘ instead of wondering what ever happened to me.
The gardens were waning off again now that autumn was upon us, as I stood out on the walkway
near the bird bath. It was still new, unlike the future that had aged it with moss and weathered
edges. I laughed out loud, seeing a hummingbird flitting in the fresh rainwater that had collected
in the bowl overnight, its tiny wings that had once been too fast to see with human eyes now no
match for my vampire vision. It was strange to see one so late in the season and I could only
hope that it was a sign that I had made the right decisions so far.
―They‘re beautiful creatures aren‘t they?‖
Edward was the only person who could still catch me off guard. His eyes, the color of honey
now, were drinking me in. I was wearing a pair of men‘s trousers that I insisted on purchasing,
and a crisp white button down shirt. After knowing the comfort of modern clothes for women, it
was very hard for me to wear dresses again. ―It pales in comparison to what I‘m looking at.‖
His crooked grin swept across his face and he wrapped his arms around my shoulder, kissing my
temple. ―You‘ve got it all wrong, Bella. Nothing compares to you.‖
I chuckled lightly and drew him down by his shirt collar for a kiss. Our new bodies were built for
one another, a match. It wasn‘t long before his hands were in my hair, down my back, on my
hips, the hungry fervent grope of needing to be closer without the fear that he would hurt me. I
wrapped my legs around him and he backed me up against the brick wall of the courtyard, deftly
undoing the buttons on my shirt. I loved when he took control.
EPOV
She was always so beautiful, especially while writhing beneath me on the grass out in the
courtyard, the sun glittering of her skin. Carlisle wasn‘t home this afternoon, as he was meeting
with someone to make last minute arrangements for our move to Ashland in the morning. Most
of our belongings were already there as it was. Why Bella insisted on moving to Ashland,
Wisconsin, is beyond me.
―Edward… I need you.‖ I loved when Bella spoke in that voice, hungry and aching. It stroked
the male pride inside of me and made me succumb to the primal urge to take her. It was less-
than-gentlemanly to strip her bare out here in the courtyard, but I couldn‘t help myself. No one
could see us and my knees digging into the ground caused no discomfort to this body of mine.
There was only pleasure to be had.
―Tell me what you want, love.‖
―You… inside of me.‖
She didn‘t have to tell me twice. Being with Bella in any way was more than I could have ever
asked for. When we were human, I couldn‘t bring myself to make love to her for fear that I
would lose control and slip up, creating a mess that would only be remedied by a shotgun
wedding at an age much too young. Now that we were both in frozen bodies, we didn‘t have to
worry about things like that.
My Bella… still understanding and patient, kind and beautiful. I had feared that my soul had
been desecrated because of what I had become, but with Bella at my side, I knew my notions of
being a soulless monster were unfounded. She still had hers, I could see it in the way she moved,
in the way she was still tied closely to humanity, in the way she loved me deeply. And I loved
her deeply as well. I knew I wouldn‘t have such a beautiful gift in this existence if I were a fallen
man.
―I love you,‖ I whispered, pushing inside of her, the low purr of pleasure vibrating in my chest.
―I love you too,‖ she sighed, hitching her legs around my waist, urging me deeper.
I obliged, picking up my pace, Bella‘s whimpers letting me know I was doing my job at pleasing
her. My needs were always second to Bella‘s when we made love, unless of course, she wanted
to be the giver.
―I love your breasts; perfect and sweet. They were made for me to taste.‖ Bella seemed to enjoy
thoroughly when I vocalized the things about her that made me come undone while we were in
the act. I kneaded them with my palms, taking a nipple between my lips, flattening my tongue
against it. Her fingers curled through my hair, pressing me harder against her.
I pulled away and lifted her hips at an angle so that she could see the beautiful sight of our bodies
connected. ―Look at us, love. Look at what I‘m doing to you.‖ Bella‘s eyes were hooded as she
looked down, a devious smile curling at her lips. Without warning, she pounced forward and
rolled on top of me, never losing our connection.
―Watch what I do to you,‖ she said, turning my words around in a husky whisper. She looked
like a Goddess with her head thrown back and her hands caressing her own breasts as she ground
her hips down on me, the friction unbelievably perfect. My hands sought her hips and I met her
thrust for thrust, knowing that I wouldn‘t last much longer. Bella still had the power to drive me
insane, in every exquisite way possible.
―Edward… oh my God!‖ Her cries of carnal need paired with her walls tightening around me
caused me to fall over the edge with her. I sat up, holding her body tight against mine, as I
spilled into her. With a ragged breath, I fell back to the ground, the euphoria I just experienced
weakening me for a moment.
―That was unexpected,‖ Bella laughed, curling her petite body against my side.
I joined her laughter, kissing the top of her head before tucking it under my chin. ―We had to say
goodbye to this house in some way, did we not?‖
―Mm,‖ she mumbled back, running her nails across my chest.
―So why Ashland?‖ I asked for the millionth time since she suggested it.
―I don‘t know, Edward, it just feels right.‖
―Are you sure my mother didn‘t say something about it?‖
Bella sighed like she always did when I inquired about things my mother might have told her.
―No, Edward. Elizabeth didn‘t say anything about Ashland.‖
―How did you even hear about Ashland?‖
―I heard it was beautiful there when I was human and my parents were talking of places to buy a
summer house. It offers privacy and lots of big game for us. It‘s just a logical conclusion to come
to.‖
―I guess I‘ll just have to trust you then, won‘t I?‖ I conceded. There was no way for me to unlock
the workings of Bella‘s mind.
~*~~*~~*~
The home that Carlisle had purchased was beautiful in its rustic setting. The light blue saltbox
style house stood in the middle of twenty-five acres that backed up to a lush forest, brimming
over with many different animals to choose from. My Bella was right; this was going to be
perfect for our new start.
Bella squeezed my hand gently. ―It‘ll be even more beautiful when the orchards start blooming
again come spring.‖
It was as if she could read my mind sometimes. It often frustrated me that hers was the only mind
I had come across that was shielded from me somehow. ―Let‘s take a look shall we?‖
―I‘d love to.‖
We walked together onto the porch, and in a swift motion, I picked her up to carry her through
the door inlaid with a stained glass hummingbird. It was perfect for Bella, since she seemed to
love them so much. She laughed and kissed me on the cheek before I sat her down. ―Carlisle did
well picking out the house.‖
―Thank you, Edward.‖ Carlisle came down the light oak staircase that was adjacent to the small
foyer and stood on the landing, smiling at us. I have to admit that I love it here already.
I nodded in agreement just as an elusive thought flitted through Carlisle‘s mind quickly.
A woman, possibly in her mid twenties, was walking down the street here in Ashland. She was
holding a newspaper over her slightly wavy, caramel colored hair to shield it from the rain. She
walked onto the porch of a small house tucked between the general store and a small restaurant,
turning slightly. The sight of her swollen belly and face made Carlisle excited and saddened all
in the same moment. Two faces appeared in his mind, that of the woman and that of a teenager,
her eyes reddened with tears as Carlisle braced her broken leg. It was the same person.
―Yes, I think it‘s safe to say that this is home. It feels right.‖ I looked over to Bella, letting her
words sink in, and just before I was about to agree with her, I noticed something on her face: a
content smile, relief, maybe even a little guilt, before it quickly turned to resolve. I wanted
nothing more than to know the thoughts behind her inconsistent emotions. As if she could read
my mind, her face changed, tucking away her erratic display of emotions behind a smile.
―Come on, Edward. Let‘s go see the rest of the house. We have lots of unpacking to do.‖
The sinking feeling that Bella might be hiding something from me couldn‘t be stronger.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Two
Fixing What Is Broken
March 26th, 1921
BPOV
Most of the time, I enjoyed to run, but not when I was being chased.
―Bella, where are you going?‖
―Edward, you can‘t come with me! I‘ll be home soon, just please!-go back to the house!‖ I knew
if he were to follow me, he would know that I was up to something. The bluffs near Lake
Superior were about four miles in the distance and I needed him to go home.
―You‘ve been reclusive for days! I‘m not leaving until you tell me what‘s going on! I know
you‘ve been keeping something from me!‖
I stopped then, spinning on my heel to face him. I didn‘t want to do it but I had to. ―Edward, I
just need to get away! You‘re constantly hovering over me and I just need time to think!‖
The inherent snarl in my voice, not from anger, but from desperation, caused the most
heartbreaking veil to fall over Edward‘s face. ―I‘m sorry, Bella. I didn‘t realize you craved to be
away from me.‖
My heart shattered into a million little pieces as he turned and ran back towards the house, his
thoughts conflicting against one another. He was so afraid that I wouldn‘t come back and his
thoughts shown the reasons why, in his mind, that I would want to be away from him: he didn‘t
satisfy me, he wasn‘t affectionate enough, he was too much of a voyeur, he didn‘t give me
enough space, I thought him to be a monster… None of those were true in the slightest. Edward
could never be close enough. His presence was a constant yearning deep in the confines of my
very soul. I’m sorry, love, I just have to find Esme and keep this secret.
I returned to running, chasing down the dawn that was just starting to peek over the horizon. To a
human‘s eyes, they wouldn‘t notice the colors changing in the sky for another hour or so. I had a
twenty minute window from the calculations I had done in my head, to get Esme before the ice
fisherman did. I could let history repeat itself but I couldn‘t trust that it would turn out the way
that I needed it to, so I was taking matters into my hands. I rounded the bluff near the lake,
knowing what I would see.
My eyes settled on the figure of a woman wrapped in a wool knee-length pea coat. Her arms
were stretched out to her sides, her head turned up to the sky. She was beautiful still, in all of her
pain. I stood there watching, fascinated by the look of resolve and peace across her face. She
truly did want to die. With no warning or hesitation in the slightest, her muscles coiled back and
she smiled as she jumped from the cliff to the rocky bed below.
I could have sworn my heart leapt at the sight of Esme, my beloved mother figure, free falling to
her would-be demise. I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw when I heard the sickening thud of
her body hitting the solid earth. It was almost too painful to bear, witnessing a human Esme
freely giving her life. She had no trepidations or doubt from what I had gathered. I wanted to
scream, having not been prepared for just how horrible this would be to see. I knew it would
happen, but it made the shock no more endurable.
I took a few breaths to steady my raging nerves, finding the strength within myself to face her
broken body. I scaled down the cliff front, my body working of its own accord. I couldn‘t
process the sight in front of me. Blood, bruises, twisted limbs, a weakening heartbeat and
shallow breaths… I can do this. Without truly looking her over, I gathered her in my arms and
made my way down the shoreline to find an easier route. Her body was limp and her blood,
which should have smelled sweet, was almost too much. I broke into a full sprint, pushing my
legs to go faster than I had ever pushed them to go.
Relief found me when I saw the house, Edward visible through the front window. I ran onto the
porch, twisting the knob. ―Edward, call for Carlisle at the hospital now!‖
―Oh my God!‖ Edward looked horrified, seeing Esme‘s body in its battered state. ―What
happened?‖
―She jumped from the cliff near the lake. Please!-Call for Carlisle!‖
I laid her out on the dining room table, gingerly straightening out her broken arms the best I
could. The strange curve in her torso told me her back was broken as well. I grabbed a cloth from
the kitchen, dampening it with the spigot to clean up some of the blood pouring from her nose
and left ear. ―Just hold on, Carlisle will be here soon. He‘ll make this better,‖ I whispered,
hoping that she could hear me wherever she was.
―He‘s coming on foot.‖ Edward was standing in the archway between the sitting room and dining
room, his arms folded over his chest. ―Why did you bring her here?‖
I looked at him, incredulous with what he just said. ―Did you just want me to leave her there to
die?‖
―It was what she was meaning to do, wasn‘t it? Who are we to play God and take that away from
her?‖
―Edward, I don‘t even know you right now. She deserves another chance. She‘s good to her very
soul; I couldn‘t leave her to die. She has so much more ahead of her.‖
―How do you know that, Bella?‖
―I just do alright!‖ I was losing my patience with him. He didn‘t question Carlisle as much when
they found her in the morgue the first time around. I pressed the cloth against her purpling lips
and felt a pang of relief when they twitched. It won’t be long.
Carlisle burst through the front door then, coming to my side, looking Esme over. ―Dear God!‖
―She jumped from the cliff near the lake. I couldn‘t leave her there. Her heart is still beating. Can
you save her?‖ Please don’t change your mind, Carlisle!
―Esme, why would you do this?‖ Carlisle sighed, the pain evident in his eyes.
―You know her?‖ Edward asked, looking her over more closely. The teenager with a broken leg,
the pregnant woman, this woman… he made the connection. ―What are we going to do?‖
―I can‘t let her die. No, I can‘t.‖ Carlisle spoke with a devotion I had never heard from him
before. I knew he loved Edward and me, but it didn‘t compare to the reverence in which he
spoke of Esme.
―So it‘s that easy, is it? You just choose those who you want to keep with you forever?‖ Edward
was frustrated over this situation more than I ever thought he would be. This was different.
―Edward, come with me,‖ I said, holding out my hand for him to take. He looked at me with
residual hurt in his eyes, most likely due to me being so harsh with him earlier. ―We‘ll go for a
walk.‖
―I think I‘ll go to our room instead.‖ With that, he turned and sped up the stairs, slamming the
door shut with more force than necessary.
I was aching inside, not only from Edward, but from seeing Esme jump. I looked over to Carlisle
just as he pierced Esme‘s neck with his teeth and I knew I had to get out of here. The act of him
changing her was oddly taboo, as if I were watching in on an intimate act between two people.
I ran out across the yard, and through the orchard, skirting along the edge of the forest until I
found the path to the clearing Edward and I had found. It didn‘t compare to the meadow in
Forks, but it was far enough away for no one to hear me. I let out the screams I had kept bottled
up inside, smashing my fists through trees, wishing they would put up more of a fight to my
uninhibited strength. ―How am I supposed to do this, Elizabeth? How can I sit back and let these
things happen to people I already love? I can hardly handle what happened to Esme, how can I
handle what happens to Rose? How can I let those men torture her like that? Why do I have to do
this alone!?‖
I fell to my knees with tearless sobs racking my body. I cried for everything that I had endured
already and for those unspeakable things yet to come. I tilted my head back and yelled again,
wishing I could find a way to let this excruciating dilemma out of me. I pounded my fists into the
dirt, wishing I could tear of my granite skin and be renewed, someone different, someone who
didn‘t have to do this.
Flapping… thrumming… a hummingbird appeared in front of me before flitting off to the side. I
followed it with quick eyes, only to find Edward standing in the distance, watching me with a
torn expression.
―Edward, I…‖
―Who‘s Rose?‖
I was shaking inside.
I let him know too much.
―Why were you cursing my mother, Bella? Answer me!‖ Edward had never raised his voice at
me like that. Not once had he ever spoken to me with such sour gall and animosity.
―I can‘t tell you, Edward,‖ I whispered, too defeated to lie to him.
Lightning struck against the morning sky, white hot and vicious. ―Bella, I‘ve never lied to you. I
don‘t expect you to start lying to me.‖
The rain began to fall in sheets, dousing Edward and I almost instantly. I felt like I was bleeding
inside, aching to tell him, and aching a little more because I couldn‘t. ―Please don‘t be angry
with me. It‘s so complicated. I can‘t change this.‖
―Bella, you told me yourself that we could do anything as long as we were together. How can I
be there for you when you won‘t let me in?‖ His wet hair clung to his forehead, the lightning
igniting his luminescent skin, showing me his pain and beauty, all in one moment.
―I‘d tell you if I could, Edward, I swear I would. But you can‘t see inside my head so you
wouldn‘t understand what I know.‖ I sounded broken. I never wanted to be broken again.
―Tell me what to do and I‘ll fix this, Bella. You just have to tell me what to do.‖ He came near
me, sinking to his knees at my side, putting his arms around my shoulders. ―Just tell me, love.‖
Words bubbled inside me but wouldn‘t come out. I couldn‘t betray the trust of fate, or Elizabeth
for that matter, and tell Edward what was going on.
Having no words left, I let my actions speak louder than any phrase I could have uttered,
clinging to Edward with brute force. I pressed my lips to his, slick from rain, tangling my fingers
in his hair. Love, need, want, anger, lies, betrayal, lust… I poured the bitterness in my soul out to
Edward with hard kisses and harsh touches, hoping he could see this wasn‘t easy for me.
I wanted him to turn me away, to tell me it wasn‘t right to do something this sacred with so much
bitterness attached to it, but that wasn‘t Edward. He gave and gave, never truly wanting anything
in return. It was me who was the monster, taking advantage of my lover to try and appease the
demented desperation in my soul.
My nails raked down his back, shredding his shirt with little effort. I pulled it off to reveal his
sculpted body, so perfect and undeserving of my abuse. My entire body screamed that this was
wrong but I couldn‘t stop myself. Edward matched my fire with his own, worshipping my body
with rough kisses and ungentle hands.
I pulled his head back, looking into his hooded eyes, searching for the hate that I needed to see,
but it wasn‘t there. ―I need you, right now.‖ My voice was a demanding whisper.
With a nod, he made quick work of my clothes and his as well, before picking me up off the
sopping earth, only to back me up against an old oak tree. The bark felt like gentle fingers
against the skin of my back as Edward pushed into me with manic force, filling the void and
spilling out my hate.
I wish I didn’t have to lie to you, Edward.
I held on tight, my legs wrapped around his hips, the sounds of our skin slapping together filling
my ears. ―Harder…‖ I growled, nipping his jaw with my teeth.
I wanted him to break this demon in me, to squash the darkness with love that knew no
boundaries. It wasn‘t fair that I was taking advantage of him because of my own weakness. He
was my equal, my eternal partner… not someone who was there to just fix me whenever I
couldn‘t handle something. I was using him and I knew it.
―Is this what you want, Bella? All of me? As much as I can give? What do I get?‖ His voice was
anger and love and damaged.
I am the scum of the earth. My body shut down and I was lost in my mind, in the abyss within
me. Edward was there, but I was alone; alone with this responsibility and alone in my own
madness. My defenses came crashing down in an instant and I sobbed, holding onto the one safe
harbor I still had.
Edward froze at the sound of my whimpers, knowing they weren‘t from pleasure, but the pain in
my heart. He sat down and cradled me against his chest, soothsaying that he was sorry and I
needed to tell him what was wrong. I couldn‘t speak as I tried to process everything, knowing
that I would never truly be prepared for what was asked of me. I wanted so badly for him to be
able to share this with me and I felt the walls crumble down in my attempt to convey to him that
I wanted to tell him everything and nothing at the same time.
Memories of Elizabeth and what she had said to me the night before she finally let go came
crashing back over me in waves. Esme… Rose… Emmett… Alice… Jasper. The future Edward
and I had that was taken back. The chance to do it all over. The responsibility of building this
family, and hoping to whatever God there was that I had the strength to go through with
everything.
It wasn‘t that I found resolve to bring me out of turbulent emotions, but it was Edward, sitting
frozen and unmoving beneath me. He wasn‘t even breathing. I looked up at him, only to see his
lips pressed into a firm line, an unreadable expression on his face. I pressed into his thoughts
only to be met with a shocked glare from him.
My mouth hung open as the reality of the situation sank in. Someway, somehow, Edward had
heard me. He had seen my secrets. He had seen the fates of everyone that was entrusted to my
care. I scrambled to my feet, the dull morning sun through the clouds turning the world a washed
out grey. Desolate to match my mood.
―Edward, I…‖
―Save it, Bella.‖
I backed up against the same tree we had used earlier and watched in horror as Edward
redressed, sans his shredded shirt, and looked at me with cold eyes. ―I can‘t even… I‘m leaving.
It sickens me to think that you could play God. You and Carlisle have that in common. Don‘t
bother following me.‖
Pain unlike anything I‘d ever felt before crushed me as I gathered my clothes, putting them on
quickly. ―Where are you going?‖
―I don‘t know, Bella. Why don‘t you read my mind?‖
―Edward, can we please just talk about this, I…‖
―What is there to talk about, Bella? You lying to me?‖
―If you would just let me explain, Edward. I had to live this life over again. I chose this life
because it meant I could be with you! If you could for one second just try to comprehend how
much this family will mean to you, you wouldn‘t think I was so evil for all of this.‖ Please don’t
leave.
―I‘m sorry that you chose this, Bella. I‘m sorry that I fell in love with you. I‘m sorry that I have
to hurt you. I need to get away from this and clear my head. It‘s never too late to start over,
right? Isn‘t that what my mother said? Maybe I should have listened to her as well.‖
I‘d never seen Edward so angry in all of the time, future or not, that I‘d known him. ―Can you
please just think about what I‘ve said? I‘ve gone through so much just to be with you, please
don‘t go anywhere.‖
―I understand that, Bella. I just don‘t know how I feel about all this. I don‘t know how I feel
about this life and I sure as hell don‘t know how I feel about you lying to me. I tell you
everything and you couldn‘t trust me to help you shoulder the burden? You couldn‘t ask me my
opinion? Do you really expect me to spend my existence with someone who is so preoccupied
with everything else, let alone lying to me the whole time? I‘m disgusted. I had complete and
total trust in you, Bella. I don‘t know what to do.‖
I was truly desperate now. ―Edward, think, brood, be angry with me, just don‘t leave me,
please!‖
―I don‘t like to think that my fate has been decided for me. Freewill is something that I like to
think I have. I don‘t know when I‘ll be back. I love you, Bella. Please don‘t follow me.‖
For the first time since becoming a vampire, I felt cold inside. ―I love you too, Edward,‖ I
whispered. I doubt he heard me. He was already running.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Three
No Salvation for the Wicked
October 5th, 1921
BPOV
The rain could not soothe the savage beast roaring within me.
Usually the rain was like a wave of calm that settled over the Earth making it hushed except for
the soft music it made as it fell to the ground, roofs, or other interesting items that made delicious
sounds.
Now though, all I could hear was the incessant dings that were made as one raindrop followed its
brother down to Earth so that it may push my frazzled brain even further into overdrive.
It‘s been months since Edward left me and my secret and this time around I had to be the one
that delivered the news to Carlisle and Esme. But instead of the hatred that I had so yearned for,
they only looked at me with sad eyes and asked me why he left, and if I was alright.
How could I tell them that I was the monster that drove him to leave? How could I tell them that
it was my treacherous mind filled with its dark corners and spider webbed lies that pushed him
away without telling them the truth of the matter?
So I had to weave yet another web that prevented them from seeing the real horror that I‘d
become. And in making the sticky death trap I realized that I would be forced to push the web
bigger and bigger as the family grew.
I felt the rumbling in my chest before I heard it as I snarled at the rain to cease and desist its
childish game of ―Drive Bella to the Brink of Insanity.‖
―Bella, honey, are you alright?‖
I looked up and briefly saw a mangled body, pouring blood from every facial orifice, limbs
twisted and mangled before the vision was replaced with the beautiful woman that I whole-
heartedly called my mother. The vision of her broken body still haunted me to this day.
Esme looked back at me with kind, topaz eyes, waiting earnestly for my answer so that she could
help. Despite the battle with her thirst, she‘d found the time to connect with the mother she‘d
been robbed of being in her mortal life. She still had her slip ups, ones she was ashamed of, but
in the end she was still Esme.
She still had the wavy, caramel hair that fell to frame a pale heart shaped face. She still had the
biggest heart of anyone I knew or would come to know, yet it refused to beat. She still loved me
unconditionally even though I was unfit for such compassion.
I forced a smile onto my face, a smile that would con any mortal for miles. Only I could feel the
invisible strings tugging at the corners of my lips, pulling them up into something that wasn‗t the
scowl that I‗d had etched on my face for days, but it wasn‘t exactly a smile either.
―I‘m fine, Mom.‖
She didn‘t seem convinced. When Esme connected with motherhood, she found that tricky little
‗Mother‘s Intuition‘ thing.
I sighed and let my shoulders sag with the weight of all my problems, disheartened that I could
only tell her some of the truth.
―I‘m just worried about Edward. Where he is, if he‘s okay.‖ What he may be doing or eating…
I only briefly remember Esme‘s kind smile and her warm embrace as my mind assaulted me with
memories of a time that only I knew of. Completely, anyway. Edward saw my secrets, but he
didn‘t know the ‗future‘ life as I had.
I knew from seeing it, but I could have sworn I‘d heard it as well, perhaps in a stray thought after
I‘d been reunited with Edward. Back around this time in the ‗other life‘, Edward had left, though
clearly not because of me, but because he‘d had something of a rebellion against Carlisle. Just
like any good teen. However, unlike most teens he‘d decided to play God, oddly enough, the
very thing he was pissed at me for. He‘d needed to feed and he imbibed from human criminals,
discerning them from the common humans using his gift.
I was afraid to look into his thoughts to see what he was doing only because I didn‘t want to
believe that I‘d screwed this up far more than I already had. Okay, so it was safe to say that
things had spiraled a little beyond control, but I didn‘t want Edward to have to live with the guilt
he‘d feel by taking those lives. True they were criminals, and true, they probably deserved it, but
it was still human life. I knew where he stood on that ground, even if he didn‘t know himself at
this moment.
―Bella, are you listening to me?‖
I refocused my gaze on the here and now, Esme blooming into vision.
I started to agree that I had, in fact, heard every word she‘d said, but that would be another lie. At
this point, I couldn‘t help but feel that I had only been allotted so many. After all, how could
someone lie so many times? I was bound to run out of tickets and then the only thing left would
be to spew the truth and watch my family fall apart.
As much as I wanted to tell them, to make it all right, I knew that I couldn‘t. They‘d all, no
doubt, feel as Edward did; that their free will had been taken from them. Who knows where they
would go out of spite? Where would my happy family be then? But then the other side of it was
what family was happy when it was hampered down in so many secrets and lies?
―No. I‘m sorry.‖
Esme patted my shoulder, ever strong for her young. I knew she missed Edward as well, but she
didn‘t want to show it. And maybe she didn‘t miss Edward for herself, since he ran out before
she could meet him, but she missed him for me. And perhaps the part of her that wanted to make
sure he was okay, to mother him and nurture him and generally take care of him like she did for
me, missed him as well.
―If you want to talk, I‘m willing to listen.‖
Esme nodded her head as I watched her breeze out of the room. Why did I have to be surrounded
by such angelic creatures? And more importantly, why couldn‘t they see how demonic I really
was?
Were angels endlessly gracious or were they blind to my imperfections?
I started to pace the room as the drumming of the rain continued in its off beat tempo.
I could look and then at least I’d know without a doubt what’s going on.
Finality.
Resolve to accept the path I’m on.
But what if I can’t handle the truth of the matter? What if it’s something unspeakable?
What if I see it every time he walks in the door, should he come back, like I do with Esme?
I have to live with my choices, so I have to make them educationally. Every action has a
reaction; I can’t fuck this shit up any more.
And as anyone knows, the only way to come to a logical, sensible, and generally all around
educated good decision… you do a coin toss.
I rooted around until I found a coin and called it.
Heads I look, tails I slowly continue to go insane…
I flipped the coin up in the air and squealed as I reached up and clamped my hand back over it,
mid-flip. I realized that if I continued to watch it, I‘d be able to predict which side it would land
on, and that would give me too much forethought. It had to be random, unobtrusive. Something
in my life had to be left up to fate that was for damn sure.
I clamped my hand over my eyes and flipped again, counting the flips that I could hear through
the changing air around the metal circle.
Twenty four flips later, the metallic sounds of the coin hitting wood and spinning on its edges
met my ears. I couldn‘t bring myself to pull my hand away from my eyes and see what decision
the world of the Coin Toss was throwing back at me.
Maybe I didn‘t have to look, maybe I could just feel for it, pick it up and put it in my pocket and
make my own decisions for once. I should just tell Fate to go screw itself and do what I wanted
to do.
I took a sidled step toward the exit. This wasn‘t so bad. Fate didn‘t have to be black and white,
we could pick and choose. Yeah, our lives were what we made them.
I made it all the way to the door frame before I was a blur.
I gazed down at the seemingly inoffensive object; its physical self couldn‘t do anyone any harm.
But the implications glaring back at me did nothing for my mental state as I realized it came up
heads.
I groaned and tried to take a few deep, unneeded but hopefully cleansing, breaths as I tried to
focus my mind. I was almost hoping that it wouldn‘t work, but just like riding a bike, my mind
snapped into his and my worries and anxieties were replaced as Bella melted away and reformed
into Edward.
The sounds of the city were harsh and loud. It was two in the morning but it didn’t appear that
this place had any sort of curfew. Music from a piano filtered through the night, slicing me like a
knife. In an attempt to get away from the atrocious contraption that’s sounds reminded me of
times I’d left behind, I realized that I’d stumbled into something of a private party.
I’d detoured into an alley that seemed to dead end ahead where I heard the sounds of harsh
laughter. My throat prickled, reminding me of the thirst I’d been neglecting. I couldn’t justify
that though, it just wasn’t right.
I was about to turn around and leave when the sound of ripping fabric lured me further into the
garbage caked alley.
I could see in perfect detail, though it seemed to be pitch-black. Two men were ahead and from
the looks and smell of it, it appeared that they were slobbering drunk. One knocked into the
other, throwing the other off balance and into the wall.
“Damn nit! I jusch ripped muh fuhkin shirt.” I grimaced at the drunken lilt and took a step back.
I didn’t need the stupidity of a common man weighing me down; I had little to no patience for
their trivialities.
I saw the movement of air before I heard the metallic, wet sound of something coming solidly
against one of the men’s heads. The guy instantly crumpled to the ground as his buddy started
laughing at him, calling him a lightweight. He did not fully understand that his friend had just
been attacked and he was likely next.
I hauled myself forward, the monster within me burning for a fight.
I lifted my arm and deflected the second swing of what I realized was a lead pipe, and it even
had the curved junction at the end of it, covered in blood.
The sweet scent wrapped around me and I couldn’t help the growl that ripped from my throat.
The drunkard cowered away from me as the attacker tried to flee. Too quickly though, I snapped
my arm out and knocked him to the ground, giving only one word of warning for the drunken
idiot to get the hell out of here.
―Go!”
I was only deafly aware of the drunk stumbling out of the alley way, leaving his friend behind. I
was much more interested in the bulky man crawling away from me. He was fairly dirty and
unwashed, probably homeless and at the end of his rope for cash.
His mind was a deliriously delicious trickle of panic as he prayed to God to let him live. He
swore to God he’d never do it again, as this wasn’t the first time, and gave his petty excuses for
why he should be spared.
Malevolence seared through me at his thoughts. Begging to God? I seethed at the notions this
man had about being forgiven for his sins.
What this man didn’t understand was that I was God… and there was no salvation for the
wicked.
I gasped loudly as I tried to pull myself out of Edward‘s mind, but it was all too late. The sound
of Edward‘s teeth sinking into the man‘s neck still managed to echo into my mind.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Four
Wedding Bells and A Realization
April 14th, 1922
BPOV
Carlisle and Esme had become the talk of the town with their wedding plans. The people of
Ashland were smitten with their family practitioner: the ladies thinking him handsome, the
children thinking him gentle, and the men thinking him noble. Of course, Carlisle really was all
of these things so it only made sense that the town would be smitten with his bride as well.
Today was the big day and I was reeling inside. I was happy for Carlisle and Esme, rightfully so,
but all of the declarations of love and the theme for this day broke my heart. Edward was
supposed to be the best man, not Richard Oakley, the local general store owner who had
befriended Carlisle. I didn‘t want to walk down the aisle arm in arm with this corpulent man who
stood an inch shorter than me. I wanted my untamed Knight with bronze hair and strong, sure
hands. God, I miss you, Edward…
―Bella, he‘ll be back.‖ Esme‘s gentle voice broke me out of my reverie as I sat on the window
seat in the bridal chamber of the church.
I smiled and considered denying that I was thinking about him but she knew better. I knew
better. ―I just wish he was here. He‘d love you as much as I do, Esme, of that I‘m sure.‖
―And I love him already. A man that‘s so dear to you and my Carlisle must be someone
extraordinary. He‘s just young and confused. Once he works out what‘s truly important to him,
he‘ll be here.‖ Esme spoke quietly to me alone, not allowing the other women in the small room
to hear us.
He‘d been gone for over a year. I never once thought he could leave me for this long. The only
reason I wasn‘t dying was because I was used to being without him, having lived almost a
century holding on to the memories I had of him while human. Had I not lived the other life as
well, I don‘t know how I would be handling this. My only qualm now was knowing of his sins
that he was committing across the Chicago area. But I couldn‘t think about that today.
So I shook my head and smiled. ―This is your day, Esme. Be happy and enjoy the fact that you‘re
going to be a Cullen in a little less than an hour.‖
―I don‘t know, I like being a Swan as well.‖ Her smile was genuine as she said this, turning to let
one of her bridesmaids finish the pearl buttons on the back of her gown.
Esme had taken my last name after she changed. Instead of playing Edward‘s sister, she was now
playing mine. I could only wonder what other changes my weakness had caused this time
around.
I watched with true happiness as Moira Jenson, the five year old daughter of Celia Jenson, who
was one of Esme‘s bridesmaids, placed individual rose petals down the aisle. Her pastel blue
dress bunched around her like a bell each time she bent down, her tiny hands working with
precision in the crocheted lace gloves, her brow puckered in concentration. She took her job very
seriously.
It was lovely to know that we had all been accepted into this community wholeheartedly. We
were included and incorporated into these humans every day life. It was a blessing that no
suspicions arose and that we were able to live life completely unencumbered.
So as I walked down the aisle with Richard holding my arm, I looked at Carlisle and smiled.
There were so many things I wanted to say in that moment, but it wasn‘t a time for words. I took
my place and watched Esme make her way down the aisle towards her beloved, the train on her
dress billowing behind her, with admiration and gratitude. I wasn‘t whole, not in the least, but I
wasn‘t alone. This part of the puzzle, Carlisle and Esme, I seemed to have gotten right.
I would cross the other bridges when I got there.
~*~~*~~*~
The reception was beautiful and tastefully done, the townspeople drinking and eating to their
hearts desire. It was with much disgust that Carlisle, Esme, and I sat down and ate with them,
knowing full well that we would be hacking up the filet mignon and roasted potatoes when all
was said and done. The steak was bearable being cooked to rare, but the potatoes were sticking
in my throat. Vampires were not made for solid food consumption.
Later, we all danced in the ballroom at the mayor‘s estate who had loaned his premises for this
social event. I was sitting in a chair amongst other teenage girls, doing my part in listening to the
local gossip. It was most amusing to listen to what they considered risqué, having lived a future
where nothing was considered sacred anymore. My true generation really was innocent.
―Excuse me, ma‘am, may I have this next dance?‖ I looked up to see Ian Tauton, the town
‗catch‘, with his hand extended out to me. My gossiping cohorts fell silent and waited with
baited breath for my answer.
One dance couldn’t hurt. ―Of course.‖
A triumphant smirk broke across Ian‘s face and I couldn‘t help but be reminded of Edward. Ian
had a red cast to his disheveled hair, different, but so similar to Edward‘s. He was about six foot
two, just like Edward. His hands were large and his fingers were long and lithe, just like
Edward‘s. I sighed quietly and realized as we began to waltz that I really needed to stop
comparing this young man to Edward. It would do no good for me.
―I have to tell you, Isabella, if I may be so forward, that I think you are the most beautiful
woman I‘ve ever laid eyes on.‖ Ian‘s voice was strong and sure, but his quickening heartbeat and
change in body temperature gave his nerves away.
I knew that I was designed, as a vampire, to draw in humans. Like a Venus Fly Trap, I was
equipped with all I needed to lure in unsuspecting humans with my otherworldliness. So I didn‘t
feel uncomfortable with his compliment. ―Thank you, Ian. You look handsome tonight as well.‖
We danced in silence after that, our bodies working in sync to finish the dance on cue. ―Would
you accompany me for a walk?‖
―Sure, Ian.‖ Getting away from the crowd sounded like a wonderful idea. It wasn‘t easy being
stuffed in a room full of beating hearts and tangible blood. I had more control than most of my
kind, but it was still slightly irritating to have temptation dangled before me.
He led the way, holding my cool hand in his, and walked us out onto the back patio and down the
stairs towards the lake.
―The stars look lovely tonight,‖ Ian said, looking at me and not at the sky.
―Yes they do,‖ I agreed because I had nothing else to say.
Ian‘s heart sped to a manic rhythm, and he breathed in deeply. I was about to ask him if he was
alright but was caught off guard by his lips.
NO! My body screamed and I jerked my head away. ―Ian, you‘re a lovely man, but I already
belong to someone.‖
I could see his discomfort at my rejection and I honestly felt bad for him. It took a lot of courage
to do something like that. Ian sighed, ―You‘re betrothed?‖
Much more than betrothed. Bound by fate is more like it. ―Yes, I‘m betrothed.‖
Ian knelt down before me as a true gentleman and took both of my hands in his. ―I apologize,
Isabella. Please forgive me but I could not help myself. I‘ve never met another woman like you
and I‘ve been thinking about you for months.‖
―Months?‖ This was new to me.
―I see you at church and around town and I can‘t help but watch you. The way your eyes light up
when you smile and how much I want to be the culprit of that smile. And especially when you
have that longing in your eyes. It‘s like you‘re haunted by something that never goes away. I
know now that it‘s someone else who has earned your affections. But I must ask you, why is he
not with you? I‘d lay down everything to have the title of being yours, Isabella.‖ The sincerity of
which he spoke left me in turmoil. Was my pain that obvious? Apparently it was.
―I lied to him, Ian. I‘m not as good as you think I am. He went back home to clear his head and
figure things out. I love him enough to be understanding and wait.‖ I could offer him no better
explanation. My humility and shame was overwhelming but for some reason, I couldn‘t bring
myself to not tell the truth to Ian.
Ian nodded his head and stood up, putting his arm around me. ―Any man would be crazy not to
forgive you. I bet he already has but he‘s just too proud to come back at the moment.‖
Ian‘s words struck a chord deep within me and I found myself contemplating a scenario that I
had never let myself consider. What if I went to him? I knew where he was and what he was
doing. Would he welcome me with open arms or turn me away? I didn‘t know if I could bear to
invade his personal thoughts again after the disastrous revelations I had discovered last October.
But what if? ―Thank you, Ian.‖
―For what?‖
―Thank you for making me realize that maybe I‘ve been doing this all wrong. Someday, a lady is
going to be very lucky to have your heart. I have to go.‖ And with that, I went back inside,
hoping to find a quiet moment with Carlisle and Esme to get their opinion.
―Bella! Hurry! She‘s going to throw the bouquet!‖ Ally Randal, one of the young women I had
been sitting with earlier grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the crowd of awaiting ladies.
There were twenty or so unmarried women in the group and Esme had her back towards us. I
was glad she didn‘t see me so she couldn‘t aim the blush roses in my direction. I had a feeling
she might have done something like that had she had the chance to do so.
―Three… two… one!‖ Celia Jenson said from the podium, and Esme threw the bouquet
backwards with a gentle force.
It was all in slow motion, the girls jumping in front of me with their arms reaching, trampling
over one another. I just stood there in quiet shock as the bundle of flowers glided past their hands
and landed perfectly in the bodice of my gown, a stray wire that held the stems together hooking
itself on the lace. I looked at it, suspended on my dress, not even touching it.
The crowd parted and Esme‘s eyes found mine, a knowing smile playing on her lips. With a sad
sigh, she mouthed the word ‗fate‘ to me and I understood everything in that moment. Unspoken
communication passed between Esme and I, and I knew that she was giving me her blessing to
bring him home. She didn‘t have to tell me twice. I walked up to the stage and kissed her on the
cheek before seeking out Carlisle to do the same.
―I will be back. And I won’t be alone when I do so.‖
Carlisle nodded and patted my shoulder before I spun on my heel and made my way out the
doors. Once I reached the line of trees and was cloaked with their shadows, I started to run.
EPOV
Ring around the rosie… Pocket’s full of posies… Ashes… Ashes… We all fall down!
I smiled at the little girl on the end of the block near my town home who sang the song over and
over again while jumping rope. The buckled shoes on her feet made a slight scuffing sound
against the bricks and her dark curls bounced with each jump. I didn‘t know her, but the man
across the street had taken notice of her in a way that didn‘t sit well with me. He had yet to act
on his unclean thoughts about the new tenant who played on the sidewalk unsupervised, and I
would make sure to keep it that way if he ever decided to put those thoughts in motion.
The Keeper of Innocents, The Murderer of Murderers… that was me.
The girl‘s mother opened the front door and called for her. ―It‘s getting dark. It‘s time to come
inside, Isabella.‖
My chest ripped open with a searing pain when I learned the girl‘s name.
I tried not to think about her. I was normally successful in my attempts, but sometimes things
would remind me of the love of my existence and I was left with this ache. I forgave her as soon
as I left, but I was too ashamed to face my actions, the things I said to her. Surely she would hate
me now, knowing that I‘m the biggest hypocrite known to man. My red eyes would tell her all
the things I could never find words for.
I was disgusted with myself, having turned from her when she needed me most. The anguish that
she was experiencing was apparent and I had made it worse by leaving because I was angry. I
didn‘t know how to make sense of the broken images I had seen in her mind: the words from my
mother, the future that Bella had lived, people who I had yet to meet. The killer was when she
pressed into my thoughts and I saw them reflected back to me through her mind. She never once
told me that she could hear me.
Such a stupid, stupid anger. Stupid me for giving into it.
With a resigned sigh, I walked into my home and sat at my piano, letting my fingers brush the
keys. It wasn‘t long before I realized I was playing ‗Fur Elise‘, one of Bella‘s favorite pieces. I
gritted my teeth and changed the tune, only to find myself playing her lullaby. I growled at
myself and shut the cover, deciding on another way to occupy myself. I was getting quite thirsty
and the compulsion to feed hit me at that thought.
Without letting myself ask myself why I continued to do what I did, I grabbed my jacket from
the coat rack near the door and my hat. I didn‘t need these things but they served as camouflage
to the humans, helping me go unnoticed.
I knew I was running away from my past, my future, my heart… but I wasn‘t ready to admit
defeat just yet.
I twisted the knob and walked out the door. I wonder who’s up to no good tonight?
So here goes nothing ladies and gents…
EPOV
The night sky was an inky midnight blue as I walked down the shoreline of Lake Michigan. The
constant babble of thoughts careening through my head served no purpose tonight other than to
annoy me. But still, I kept listening in hopes to hear the elusive thoughts of a person who meant
ill will towards an undeserving soul.
This isn’t the way, Edward…
Bella‘s voice rang through my head.
The exhilarating satisfaction of feeding the monster.
―NO!‖
I whipped my head up from the cooling body of my victim.
Were my eyes deceiving me?
BPOV
I didn‘t know what to do.
I crumpled to my knees defeated.
It was up to me to find a way to make it right.
Emmett.
Edward‘s shame.
Conundrum.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Five
Critical Thinking
April 15th, 1922
EPOV
The night sky was an inky midnight blue as I walked down the shoreline of Lake Michigan. The
constant babble of thoughts careening through my head served no purpose tonight other than to
annoy me. But still, I kept listening in hopes to hear the elusive thoughts of a person who meant
ill will towards an undeserving soul.
Can’t get any sleep with them yappin’ dogs next door…
The doctor said the steam from the bath will clear up his cough…
I’d start my garden but I have to wait until the May frost is over…
Hope the fish bite tomorrow…
Chicago was surprisingly calm tonight.
I sighed in frustration. My thirst was ripping through my throat and I found no common monster
for nourishment.
This isn’t the way, Edward…
Bella‘s voice rang through my head, causing the wound in my heart to ache. I didn‘t like to think
about her, yet tonight seemed to be filled with memories of her. Maybe it was the child who bore
the same name that triggered these thoughts.
She was tortured the night I left. Her eyes that shined with life were dead on the inside and I
added salt to every wound by leaving. Regret is a ghastly emotion but I couldn‘t help but feel
that way knowing what I had done to her. She was reaching out to me yet I couldn‘t be there for
her because of my own prideful implications because she wouldn‘t tell me the truth. I was so
angry and hurt over something that I had no business feeling that way about. I just wish it hadn‘t
have gone the way it did and I could rewind time and do it all over to be the man she needed me
to be. If I knew I had her forgiveness I would spend the rest of eternity making it up to her. I
never thought I‘d be able to withstand being away from her for this long. It was a seething ache
that was constantly in the background of my thoughts, but I had learned to push it away with the
thrill of the hunt.
I love Bella. There is nothing that could ever make that untrue. She was the center of my
universe even if I tried in my stubbornness to live a different way. It was all a lie. I caught my
reflection in the window of a shop and berated myself.
You’re a fake! You’re not with her because you’re not good enough. You’re nothing but a fraud.
You should feel ashamed of what you did to her. She reached out to you and you turned your
back and ran. You’re not even a man. You’re undeserving of someone so beautiful.
It was sickening to think of it, but I did anyway: Bella finding someone else; another man‘s
hands learning the plains of her body, tasting her kiss. Maybe she created a new mate while I was
gone and I was left with nothing. I had no way of knowing. If I crawled back now, she might
slam the door in my face and tell me that it‘s all over and there is nothing left to come home to.
She should turn me away. I already turned away from myself a long time ago.
I often wished I could sleep. A sweet reprieve it would be to close my eyes and sink down into
the black oblivion of unconsciousness. Humans had it so easy yet it baffled me those who found
their life unlivable. If I had the chance to do this all over, Bella and I would still be humans. She
should have told me what she knew and we could have run off, away from the sickness. We
might have even had a child by now.
I let myself ponder the face of a baby that would never be. A son, I decided, with dark hair like
his mother and green eyes like his father. I would have shown him how to throw a ball and be a
gentleman. I would have taught him how to play the piano, watching his tiny hands discover the
keys and the sounds, piecing them together to form a classic cadence lasting through time.
Bella, her cheeks flushed with a rosy glow, her belly swollen with my child. The vibrancy she
possessed while human amplified with happiness and the beauty of a woman with the power to
create a new life.
I shook those thoughts from my mind. I was nothing more than a sick masochist wishing for the
impossible.
No one tells me no…
I whirled around, locating the direction of the voice of a man, seeing the woman struggling
against him through his mind‘s eye. She was young, around seventeen I would guess, and very
much beautiful. Her blonde hair and blue eyes reminded him of his betrothed.
Two virgins in a year… I’m doing great.
The livid monster roared inside me and I broke into a run, too fast for the human eye to catch.
The disgusting thoughts of this man were making my stomach tighten in a way that made me feel
human. Silly him for choosing a night while I was around.
I rounded the street corner and saw the building the man was seeing from the alcove where he
was making work of holding the girl against the wall, riding her skirt up her thighs.
I was close enough now to hear his voice. ―Come on, baby, you know you want my cock.‖
How could this man even believe such lunacy? She was shaking and crying and he was forcing
himself on her. There was no wanting involved.
I knew my eyes were black with thirst and fury as I made my way quietly up the steps, leaning
against the opposite wall of the man and his victim.
My voice came out calm, collected and deadly. ―I believe the young woman said no.‖
The man turned around, crouching in front of the girl as if he were protecting her from me. That
wasn‘t the smartest thing to do. ―This is a party for two. I suggest you get the hell out of here.‖
His voice was arrogant and his thoughts unassuming. Little did he know what his vile deeds had
gotten him into tonight.
Without further pleasantries, I grabbed his wrist in a fluid motion, slamming him against the wall
I had been leaning against. I effortlessly held him against the stone and turned to the woman.
―Run,‖ I growled, and she did.
―Get the fuck off me, man!‖ His fist connected with my unyielding face, his knuckle cracking
and he groaned in pain. I barely felt it.
―That wasn‘t very smart, now was it?‖
He struggled against my grip, fear blazing in his eyes once he realized his attempts were futile.
―Just let me go, alright? I‘ll just go home and this will be the end of it.‖
I ignored his words and turned my attention to his mind. He‘d done this before, making a game
of women since he was in his mid teens. He was a man of wealth where he came from, his good
name protecting him against the women he had attacked. He was leaving in the morning to go
back home after attending to business so he assumed one little lady wouldn‘t hurt. No one in
Chicago would ever see him again.
―I‘m sorry, man.‖ He changed tactics, realizing his weakness against me. ―Let‘s just forget this
ever happened and go on about our business. You stopped me from making a big mistake; one
that I‘ll never make again.‖
I barked out a laugh right in his face and he recoiled from me. ―She isn‘t the only woman who
has been brutalized by your… ardor. You do have it right though, I did stop you, and you will
not be making this mistake again. The lies stop here, Royce.‖
His eyes widened in panic and he struggled against me, pushing with all the force he could
muster. It felt like an infant trying to push me away, completely useless. I laughed.
―Let me go! Help some…‖
With too easy of force, I jerked his head to the side, the monster dancing in triumph at the
muffled crunch-sound of his vertebrae snapping beneath my hands. I sighed in satisfaction as I
pierced his flesh near the carotid artery, the best place, his pulse still flowing a bit from residual
adrenaline.
The rush of warmth spilling over my tongue.
The frenzy.
Nothing was sweeter or more satiating than the taste of human blood and the exhilarating
satisfaction of feeding the monster.A few more draws and I finished him.
―NO!‖
I whipped my head up from the cooling body of my victim to see the source of the familiar,
strangled cry.
Were my eyes deceiving me?
BPOV
I was too late. I had failed epically in this mission to keep things as they were to build this
family. It was my weakness that had caused Edward to flee too early and succumb to his inner
demons. It was the device of my own treachery that caused this night to happen, this victim that
was needed to keep my promises to Elizabeth and to the family that I had set out to keep whole,
now laying lifeless on the pavement. He was a piss poor excuse of a man, but he was an
important catalyst.
―Bella?‖ Edward stood in front of me, his eyes widened in shock. He took a step towards me and
I recoiled, not because I didn‘t want him to touch me, but because I was disgusted with myself.
―I don‘t…‖ I didn‘t know what to do. I was thrilled to be near Edward but I was in shock with
the events that had unfolded this night.
Edward stood up straight and clenched his fists at his sides. ―I expected something like this. I
know that I deserve any animosity or repulsion you may have for me. I‘m completely prepared
for it. What I‘ve turned into isn‘t a lovable being. I shouldn‘t have left you and I apologize a
thousand times over, but I know that will never make it right.‖
My head was swirling with too many things at once, causing a dizziness that I hadn‘t
experienced as a vampire so far. I wasn‘t ready to talk about anything yet because I wasn‘t sure
how I could do so. My voice sounded dead and cold, but not for the reasons he was assuming.
―Dispose of his body properly and meet me at your parent‘s house. Please, don‘t make me come
looking for you.‖
Edward nodded and reached his hand towards me, his fingers long and perfect hanging in the air.
I missed you too, Edward. I brushed my fingertips to his and felt the same electric shiver as
always before I turned and ran. We could have our reunion once I could think properly.
The Masen Estate was already becoming overgrown with disuse. The ivy adorning the iron
fences grew wildly out of control, climbing up the brick exterior of the house making it look
more like a gothic manor than the warm and inviting place that I remembered. I laughed bitterly
because it now looked like the perfect dwelling for two vampires if one took into consideration
all of the story book misconceptions.
I coiled my muscles back, jumping to the second story balcony. It was the very same balcony
that Edward and I had shared many nights while human and later, after we were changed. It was
common ground for the both of us, which is what we needed. My nerves were already taking
over, the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
It was a powerful force, seeing Edward again. His smell was still the same, slightly sweeter due
to the human blood he was now imbibing. His perfection struck my heart the way it always did
and I wanted him with a fury above all else. But that could wait… I needed to think.
It was up to me to make this right. Without Royce, there would be no attack on Rosalie, therefore
no need to save her. Without Rosalie there would be no reason for Emmett. It would be selfish of
me to save him from the bear if he didn‘t have Rosalie to wake up to. The dynamic of that duo
would be lost forever because of Edward‘s actions.
This was a conundrum beyond anything I‘d ever had to work out so far. Without a reason to keep
the inertia of this particular fate going, I was left in an abyss of dead ends with no way out.
I heard the breeze of Edward‘s run and the slight thud of his feet as he leapt up to stand beside
me. It still felt right to have him with me and for that I was thankful.
I faced him without a word, my fingers ghosting towards his face, tracing the plains of his
cheekbones. ―Red doesn‘t suit you.‖
Edward‘s shame was apparent in the way his shoulders rolled forward, heavy with the weight of
killing humans. ―I‘ll never do it again if you tell me not to.‖
I knew he meant it but there was too much hypocrisy plaguing our relationship. ―I‘ll never ask
you to stop what you feel is necessary. It isn‘t fair for me to choose your actions for you. I‘m not
your mother, Edward. I don‘t like it, but I won‘t ask you to stop.‖
―Your disapproval is enough for me, Bella. Please-just give me the chance to change. I can be
better if you just give me the chance. I missed you so…‖
I didn‘t want him to think my bewildered feelings were because of his actions. It was something
so much bigger than slayings that were forgivable in my eyes. So I pressed myself against him,
my lips smashing into his, tongue and teeth and perfect. His taste caused venom to flow in my
mouth, the traces of human blood touching my tongue. I understood then, the perfect satisfaction
of taking part in what our bodies as vampires were made for.
With a small jump, I wrapped my legs around his waist, purring with the content sensation of
being whole. I knocked his hat off and gathered his hair between my fingers, pulling lightly in an
attempt to bring him closer to me.
Edward growled before pulling away, his breathing heavy. ―Is it that easy for me to earn your
forgiveness?‖
―I was never mad,‖ I sighed, licking the pouty-curve of his upper lip.
―Never?‖ He asked breathlessly, pulling my tongue between his lips, sucking lightly.
I pulled back in frustration. ―No. Now stop talking…‖ I needed to forget for a little while. I
needed to feel this perfection that I‘d craved for too long without being satisfied. He was my
only way to get out of this crushing feeling of doom even if it was only temporary.
―Okay…‖
He carried me to the door that led into our old room, twisting the knob and shattering the lock. I
nipped at his jaw, eliciting a growl from him and he threw me to the bed knowing the mattress
would feel like air to my body. His smirk was more pronounced than I‘d ever seen it. I loved
when Edward got cocky.
―You‘re stronger,‖ I smirked back, the lust coursing through my body with a static zing.
He chuckled lowly, looking at me up through his lashes, the ruby glint in his eyes explaining
everything. He unbuttoned his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders and my breath hitched in my
throat at the sight of his bare chest and perfectly sculpted stomach. The indentions near his hips
making the V-shape that disappeared into the waist of his trousers made me bite my lip and
whimper. Oh, how I’ve missed you…
There was something insanely erotic about hearing the metallic clicks of his belt buckle coming
undone. With a fluid motion, he pulled it from the loops, snapping it in the air. ―You‘re wearing
entirely too many clothes, Bella.‖
I leaned up on my knees and removed the shirt I had changed into before running from Ashland,
exposing my breasts to Edward‘s hungry eyes. It looked like he missed me too.
I watched as Edward kicked his boots off and slid his pants down his legs, stepping out of them
before stalking towards me. He looked like a predator which excited me even more, and I leaned
back, spreading my legs in welcome.
―Nice pants,‖ Edward laughed, manhandling me with quick, precise movements, freeing me of
any clothing I had left on.
Edward leaned back, looking over my body with a sudden gleam of awe in his eyes. Instead of
the normal self-conscious feelings I would get when he did things like that, I got another surge of
lust.
I palmed my breasts in my hands, rolling my nipples between my fingertips. I arched my back
beneath him, moaning softly at the sharp sensations I was giving myself, only amplified with
knowing that he was watching me.
He mumbled the word mine and grabbed my hands, taking them prisoner with one of his, pinning
them above my head. I sighed in satisfaction as he dipped his head down, taking one of my small
peaks into his mouth, suckling gently. The feeling ripped through me and I literally ached for
him, to be complete.
―Edward, I can‘t wait… please…‖ I begged through clenched teeth, wanting what only he could
give me.
―This?‖ He asked arrogantly, pressing his tip into my entrance, only enough to drive me madder
than I already was.
―Yes!‖ I cried out, wanting everything that he could offer physically and emotionally. I‘d never
let him go again.
He slid into me then and it was perfect, like two coordinating pieces locking together. Edward
was well endowed and hit every spot with each stroke and he groaned against my chest. It really
was too long of being without him.
―My Bella… so beautiful…‖ Even when he dominated me, he did it with love beyond measure.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and curled my hips up so he hit the spot that made me come
undone. I missed this, Edward‘s weight above me, his scent filling my head with fog, his kisses
and the way he made love to me igniting a delicious fire in the pit of my stomach. I loved this
man.
―Bella… I can‘t hold out much longer.‖ His voice was strained and sent sparks down my spine
knowing that it was me and my body that did this for him. He freed my hands and threw one of
my legs over his shoulder, knowing that it drove me crazy when he did so. Of course he still
knew all the tricks to manipulate my body to his will.
―Edward!”
With a few more thrusts of his hips, my walls clenched around him, and I rode out a long-
overdue orgasm that topped all others I‘d ever experienced. I chanted his name like a prayer as
he groaned out an ‗I love you‘ before spilling inside of me.
Edward rolled onto his side and held me tight against his chest, neither of us wanting to be apart.
I laughed a little as I twitched involuntarily for the first time in this new body. He pulled back.
―What?‖
―That was the best make-up sex ever.‖
Edward looked confused. ―I don‘t think I‘ve ever heard that term.‖
Oops. ―It‘s um… yeah.‖ A pretty big term in the future.
―Must be something you picked up in another life.‖ I wasn‘t ready for Edward to bring up the
things he‘d seen in my head that night in Ashland.
―We‘ll talk about it later, Edward. I just want to be close to you right now.‖ I didn‘t have the
mental energy or the resources to figure anything out and I seriously doubted that I ever would.
―Can I ask just one thing?‖
―What?‖ I asked, instantly on guard.
―How did you know where I was?‖
―I always know where you are and what you‘re doing.‖ Please be enough!
―I know you can read my mind at will. That was apparent that… night. How close do you have
to be to hear me though?‖
I looked up into Edward‘s eyes and saw every ounce of love and adoration he had for me
dancing in them. Already he was putting his trust in me and I couldn‘t lose it again. So I decided
I could offer him this one thing freely. ―I could connect to you all the way from Ashland. It never
stops and knows no distance. I lose myself when I do it though.‖
Edward gasped out in surprise, his eyebrows rising. ―How do you lose yourself?‖
I shrugged and laid my head back down on his shoulder. ―It‘s like I become you. Your thoughts,
your feelings… everything that makes you ‗Edward‘, becomes me. It‘s hard to disconnect.‖
―I‘m jealous.‖
I laughed into his chest. ―Of course you are.‖
―Hey, Bella?‖
―Hm?‖
―That was a very nice reconciliation.‖
―Yes, it was.‖
―Hey, Bella?‖
I leaned up on my elbow, ―What, Edward?‖
His brilliant grin spread across his face. ―I missed you.‖
I laughed and laid back down into the crook of his arm. ―I missed you too.‖
―Hey, Bella?‖
―What the hell, Edward?‖
―Can we reconcile again?‖
He didn‘t need to ask me twice…
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Six
June 15th, 1922
It had been two months since Bella found me. Two months of us together again, falling back into
the comfort and constant that defined us. She had written a letter to Carlisle, telling him our
address and that we would return once she had me acclimated back to the animal-feeding
lifestyle that I tried not to resent.
I was surprised when Bella informed me that Carlisle had married Esme the night before she
returned to me. I didn‘t press the issue, knowing that my Bella knew more than she would tell
me. I only had a glimpse of what she knew and reconciled within myself that maybe all of this
was necessary. Bella as a person would do no harm or wrong to anyone. I had complete faith in
what she was doing because I knew just how deeply her heart and compassion ran. She knew
Esme would be the eternal match for Carlisle and now I had proof that such a thing was so.
I was sitting at my piano, playing around with a new melody that had been floating around in my
head when Bella walked into the room. I smiled and looked up at her, only for that smile to turn
to an expression of worry as I took in Bella‘s demeanor. Her shoulders were rounded and she
was breathing heavily, something that only a vampire would do if battling with emotion. There
were very few ways to deal with the strong whims of emotion when we had no outlet like crying.
She was showing one of them.
In a second I was standing next to her, putting my arms around her shoulders, asking what was
wrong. She held out the crisp white parchment with looping calligraphy, Carlisle‘s handwriting.
Dearest Bella and Edward,
I cannot tell you how much joy it brings me to know that you two are together again.
Everything is as it should be, though I do regret that the two of you are not home. I understand
completely though, that a few adjustments need to be made before life can resume as it was. I
can only hope in my heart that you, Bella, will keep your promise about coming home and not
doing so alone. (You’re already forgiven, Edward.)
All is well here with Esme and I. I can only thank you, Bella, for bringing her home to us, to
me. She was ecstatic over receiving your letter and wanted me to inform you that she misses
you and cannot wait to meet Edward.
Now, to get to the biggest news. Two days after receiving the letter, a large windstorm swept
through Ashland, causing the large maple next to our home to fall. The damages were
extensive to say the least. After packing our belongings and yours as well, we decided that it
was a sign to go ahead and move on. We are now residing in a large home on the outskirts of
Rochester, New York. I’ve enclosed the address and hope to hear from either or both of you
soon. We love you and miss you both.
Yours truly,
Carlisle and Esme
My eyes scanned over the letter again, trying to find some morsel that would cause Bella such
distress. Coming up short, I decided to ask what was wrong. ―I don‘t understand, love, can you
tell me what‘s bothering you? Is it because the home in Ashland was damaged?‖
Bella shook her head as if to clear the fog from her mind. ―Yeah, it‘s just strange that it‘s gone. I
loved that house.‖
And there it was. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever Bella kept something
from me. As much as I relied on my mind, my intuition still worked fairly well. Instead of
placating her, I decided to give her an ultimatum. ―When you feel you can be honest with me
about what‘s really bothering you, I‘ll be here to talk.‖
I walked away from her then because really, what else could I do? I was exhausted in my
attempts at extracting information from her. I remembered vividly the faces of unnamed people
from a life that Bella had lived in a world much different than the one we lived in now. It
frightened me to think of it in all honesty. What was the difference between God and man if a
mere mortal was given the power to travel through time? I didn‘t like the uneasy questions that
this situation left me pondering.
Mama left you out all by yourself…
My head snapped around, hearing the thoughts of the man down the street. Little Isabella was
playing hopscotch in an alley between the apartments with just the right amount of cover for him
to take her without notice. A feral growl erupted from my chest and I was tearing out the back
door, only to be tackled by Bella.
―Stay here, Edward. I‘ll take care of it.‖
―Stay out my head,‖ I snapped back, using my strength to break out of her hold.
―Don‘t be an imbecile! We‘re wasting time. Stay here!‖ She growled at me with blatant fury in
her eyes.
―No!‖ The monster in me roared on my behalf. How dare she tell me what to do?
I was shocked to say the least when Bella literally picked me up and dragged me back into the
house. ―You will not feed from humans again.‖ She said in a deadly calm voice. I‘d never seen
her angel face contorted with such rage, especially not directed at me.
―I don‘t have the patience to baby sit you, Edward. I‘ll be back in a few minutes. Don‘t get
broody and try to run. I‘ll know where to find you.‖ She tapped her forehead and walked out the
front door.
I watched through the man‘s eyes as Bella rounded the corner with quick, purposeful steps.
―Excuse me, sir, but I believe you need to leave the child alone.‖
Pretty little girl but even better woman. I’d fuck her senseless. My hands balled into fists at the
thoughts running through his head. Bella was mine, angry or not.
―What‘s it to you?‖ He asked.
―Isabella, is it?‖ Bella asked the child who nodded. Bella stretched her hand out to the child with
a smile. ―That‘s my name as well. Why don‘t we go back across the street to your mother?‖
The child nodded again and her lips started trembling as she thought that maybe she‘d done
something wrong. Bella took her tiny hand and led her back across the street, sending the man a
death glare if I‘d ever seen one.
Guilt preceded my awe as my Bella talked to the girl‘s mother, explaining that she had seen the
man approaching her daughter in a disturbing manner. The woman began to cry and pulled little
Isabella into the house, thanking Bella for saving her from what might have happened. The
woman‘s thoughts were frantic and relieved as she told Isabella that she was not allowed to play
on the sidewalk anymore, but in the fenced safety of the backyard where she could be watched
more carefully. The woman turned back to Bella and thanked her again, telling her that she
would alert the other neighbors to the man across the street and phone the police and ask what
should be done.
I sat down on the steps just inside the foyer, shame consuming me over how I had acted. So there
was a different way to handle the villains in this world. I now understood that Bella was teaching
me a lesson with all this, knowing that I would be watching through the minds of all parties
involved, sans hers. If I didn‘t know her so well, I wouldn‘t have noticed the minute smugness
displayed on her face. That look was for me. She really did know what she was doing.
June 21st, 1922
BPOV
It was midnight and the moon was a waning crescent in the sky as I sat out on the roof. The low
hums of the city of Chicago were my background music as I tried clearing my head for the
millionth time in the last week. Carlisle‘s letter had shaken me to the core. Rochester, New York.
They had moved there without one word from me mentioning it as a possible location to move
to.
This left me reeling.
The catalyst for Rose‘s change had been taken away so there was no reason for her to become
one of us. Right? Or was it one of Royce‘s cronies who had decided her fate? I didn‘t know.
Royce was obviously disgusting within himself or Edward wouldn‘t have taken the initiative to
feed from him. Maybe it was Royce all along. I was incredibly confused to say the least.
Edward‘s scent drifted on the soft breeze before he spoke. ―What are you thinking about, love?‖
I wrapped my arms around my knees and allowed my head to lean on Edward‘s shoulder as he
came up behind me. ―Do you think we can go home now? Do you think you can handle that life
again?‖
Edward‘s arms snaked around me. ―I‘d do anything to make you happy, Bella. If you want to go
home with Carlisle and Esme, then I will do everything in my power to ensure that you get just
that.‖
―I know you‘re scared, Edward. Not so much about the humans, but about facing Carlisle. Your
eyes are gold again though,‖ I whispered, looking up at him and smoothing a lock of hair away
from his forehead.
He shook his head. ―After seeing the way you handled the situation a few days ago, I‘ve done
nothing but question myself. I knew that those men were vile to their very soul, but what better
does that make me? My soul? I murdered. I took life. It kills me to know that I could have turned
them over and made them suffer the rest of their lives in the penitentiary. My fate for them was
too easy. Now I know why Carlisle lives the way he does. Now I know the lessons he tried to
instill in us.‖
It pained my heart to see Edward so ashamed. Yes, I was smug when I handled the situation with
the little girl, but maybe I shouldn‘t have been so poignant. It was wreaking havoc on him even
though I only did it to show him that it didn‘t have to be so brutal. And I was so damn angry with
him that evening.
―Edward, let‘s go home. We‘ll work it all out. I want my family back.‖
And with weary eyes and a sad smile, he nodded his agreement.
June 30th, 1922
BPOV
―Are you sure this is the right address?‖ Edward asked me, again.
―Yes.‖
I understood his incredulity. Yes, we Cullens started playing with the stock market. I just never
realized how vastly our investments would grow with my subtle hints and knowledge of what to
buy stock in. Edward and I were pulling up to a home that was even bigger than the Masen‘s
estate. The long driveway, the columns, the brick… It looked like the home of elitists, not
vampires. Was it possible to have too much room, perhaps?
Edward cut off the engine to his car, taking my hand in his for reassurance. His nerves were
making me nervous, and I knew we had no reason to feel that way. With a resolved look on his
face, he nodded, giving consent to let us leave the cocoon of safety that our car provided.
I had just closed the car door when a tall, lithe figure came running towards me.
―BELLA!‖
Esme‘s arms encased me in a hug that rivaled any I‘d ever received. She was trembling and
sobbing against my shoulder as I breathed in her familiar citrus scent, hugging her back.
―I missed you, Mom.‖
She pulled away from me, her hands still on my shoulders, a smile beaming across her face. ―I‘m
so glad to have you home again. We bought this big ole house in hopes that you would return
soon.‖
―Here we are.‖ I emphasized the ‗we‘ part, making her look over to Edward who was standing
there watching us with a curious gaze.
I watched with fascination as Esme stepped aside, taking slow steps toward Edward who had a
strange look on his face. I realized that Esme might not have known he was a mind reader, or
simply didn‘t think about it. She looked at him imploringly, sizing him up in a way that made me
bite back a smile.
―It‘s good to have you home, Edward,‖ she finally said, patting his cheek. ―You really are a
handsome little devil, aren‘t you?‖
Edward shrugged. ―I don‘t know?‖
Esme laughed and wrapped him up in a hug that surprised Edward, but also calmed him in a
way. I knew he would see how good Esme was and succumb to her charms. She was a
comforting force, maternal to her very core, and had this way about her that drew people in and
made them feel like everything was going to be alright. She was my biggest rock after Edward
left, bringing me more solace than I could have ever had without her.
―Well come on you two; let‘s get you settled into your new room. I decorated it myself. Of
course, you can always change whatever you don‘t like.‖
Edward retrieved the few bags we had with clothes and a few trinkets in them from the car.
Edward had donated all of his furniture, including the piano he had bought to a local charity in
Chicago. This was all part of this life, getting rid of the old, coming in with the new, constantly
reinventing who we were in an attempt at living what most considered a normal life. The Cullens
weren‘t the type of vampires to spare the luxury of living in a permanent residence for the
nomadic lifestyle so many others of our kind liked to lead.
The Rochester home was extravagant at best. High ceilings, molding, marble floors, crystal
chandeliers, and a staircase fit for royals assaulted me when we walked in. It lacked the
farmhouse charm of our Ashland home but it was still oddly comforting. With my experience, it
was all about the ambience in a home, not the space or belongings. If it were not seeped in love,
it wouldn‘t have been so beautiful to me.
―Up the stairs, go on. Third floor, last door on the left.‖ Esme ushered us up the stairs excitedly,
not really giving us the chance to look around at the new house.
Once we got to the door, Esme stepped in front of Edward and I, twisting the knob and opening
it.
Flashes of a time too far ahead filled my head in a haze as I settled on the pale gold walls and
large bed with cast iron posts. It was decorated in such a similar fashion to Edward‘s room in
Forks.
―I love it.‖ My voice sounded thick with tears that my eyes could no longer shed.
―Oh good! I was so nervous because I‘ve never done a room like this before. It‘s much different
than anything of fashion nowadays. Carlisle thought it was strange but I had a vision.‖
―You have a knack for architecture. I can see that.‖ Edward commented, sitting our bags down at
the foot of the bed.
Esme‘s eyes widened for a moment. ―I forgot! Oh, please, forgive any thoughts I may have had.‖
Edward chuckled lightly. ―It‘s alright. I deserved that.‖
Hmm… I‘d have to ask him about that later.
―Well all that matters now is that we‘re all together. I‘ll leave you two alone now and phone
Carlisle to let him know you‘re home.‖ She smiled, walking out of the room. Before she closed
the door, she turned around. ―Oh! Before I forget, we‘ve been invited to the Hales for a little
soiree with Rochester‘s finest. You two should come so we can introduce you to everyone.
Carlisle is already a very prominent citizen and it would only make sense.‖
Edward smiled at her warmly. ―Of course we‘ll come.‖
Esme nodded and closed the door behind her.
Edward looked at me.
I couldn‘t help but tremble. ―The Hales,‖ I whispered. Rosalie.
―What is it, Bella?‖
I looked into his eyes that were fading back to the old ochre they used to be after he gave up
human blood at my request. I shuddered at the thought.
―I‘d tell you if I knew.‖
July 2nd, 1922
Rosalie
BPOV
Desolation, shame, remorse… I am so sorry, Rose. I should have done something different!
This was on my shoulders. It was my burden to bear.
I watched her writhing form as she tore at the sheets, the burn consuming her in these final hours.
She was crying for her mother, to God, to anyone, to make the pain go away. My mouth was set
in a grim line as I looked at the clock face. Soon…
I didn‘t leave her side not once throughout this ordeal. I took the rag and wiped away some of the
sweat from her forehead in a sorry attempt to comfort her even though I knew it wasn‘t possible.
She flinched away from me.
I sat back down in my chair at her bedside; going over the details of that night for the millionth
time, letting them wash over me like tiny daggers to my heart.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Seven
It Happened so Fast
June 30th, 1922
Esme had all of the clothes Edward and I had left in Ashland hanging neatly in the closet.
Edward had laid out his black tux and a crisp white dress shirt on the bed, ready for when he got
out of the bath. I had gone first and was now drying my hair, looking over the dress I had picked
for the evening. It was a dark blue lace gown with thin straps at the shoulders and a beaded frock
at the bust. I had it made for the spring gala in Ashland but things had obviously changed on a
whim. What better night to wear it than a night with possible impending doom?
―Why are you so nervous, love?‖ Edward asked while toweling himself off.
―Putting on the façade for everyone. Are you sure you can handle this?‖ It was easy to distract
him.
―I‘ll be fine, Bella. I assure you that I won‘t be taking anymore human life for a very long time if
not forever.‖
I knew he wouldn‘t, but I had to bide myself time with excuses and accusations. I was a mess on
the inside.
―Carlisle‘s home,‖ Edward said abruptly, dressing himself with vampire speed.
I quickly twisted my hair back, my hands swift and precise with the silver combs to hold it all
back. Edward was holding my dress when I went to grab for it, smiling to me while lifting it
gently over my head as not to muss my hair.
―I love that color with your skin, love.‖ Edward kissed my shoulder while I looked in the mirror
at myself. Here goes nothing.
―Well, let‘s go see Carlisle, shall we?‖
I could tell Edward was nervous, for he led me down the stairs at a human pace, biding time until
he faced the father-figure he‘d snubbed in his attempt to get away from me. I squeezed his hand
reassuringly as we walked into the library off of the formal sitting room, Carlisle smiling as we
walked through the door.
―Edward, Bella,‖ he said with nothing other than warmth in his eyes. ―Welcome home.‖
Edward‘s lips were pressed into a thin line and his hand was clutching mine tightly as he
answered. ―Carlisle,‖ he nodded. ―It‘s good to be home.‖
―It‘s good to have you home, Edward.‖
Their eyes locked for a few moments and I had a feeling that Carlisle was having a private
conversation with Edward. I could have listened, but I still held some morals and opted out of
eavesdropping.
―I‘ll be in the dining room with Esme,‖ I whispered, leaving them to their own reunion. It would
be awkward enough for Edward to explain himself to Carlisle without me watching.
Esme was sitting at the table looking over the local tribune in her formal clothes. She was
wearing a white dress with beads sewn on that swished around her knees. The 1920‘s were
bringing with it a freer fashion for women. I sighed a little, still craving my Chuck Taylor‘s and
jeans, not to mention the soft cotton blends of my old, well, new t-shirts. My brain still fumbled
with what I considered to be ‗old‘ yet I knew hadn‘t come to be at the time.
―Hello, Bella. You look very beautiful in that color.‖
I smiled, sitting down next to her. ―Edward said the same thing upstairs.‖
Esme‘s hand reached out across the table and patted my arm. ―I‘m so glad you‘re back. This
house is far too lonely with just Carlisle and I.‖
―I missed you too, Esme.‖ A thought occurred to me. ―What exactly were you thinking about
Edward when we were outside? The things you apologized for?‖
Esme smiled sheepishly and her hand nervously twisted her string of pearls around her throat. ―I
fear that I was berating him a bit for leaving you. Once I saw the two of you standing next to one
another, I couldn‘t believe how right it was. I was thinking how stupid he was to think that
leaving you was such a good idea. You two orbit around one another as if none could survive
without the other. I‘ve never seen more love than the two of you share. It emanates from the two
of you. And I love you like a daughter. I was also imagining what I might do if he were to
consider leaving again.‖
My eyes went wide at this gentle creature before me, her face twisting into a mask of fierce
protectiveness on my behalf. ―I take it that some were quite offensive.‖
Esme snorted and I had to laugh. I truly didn‘t want to know.
―Well, ladies, Edward and I would like nothing more than to escort the two of you to the Hales
for the evening.‖ Carlisle and Edward both looked incredibly handsome in their tuxedos, holding
out their hands for Esme and I to take.
―Let‘s get going then,‖ I said in a quiet voice. Please, give me strength to see Rose and not fall
apart.
EPOV
The Hales home was grand at best, men and women congregating all over, gossiping, eating,
dancing. The voices gurgling in my mind were ridiculously loud in such close confinement.
Bella and I made our rounds, introducing ourselves as Esme‘s sister and brother-in-law. I
couldn‘t fight the pain in my heart that Bella and I weren‘t actually married… yet.
I noticed Bella looking around, as if she were anticipating something dire to happen at every
turn. She was searching the crowd for something, someone, and I was frustrated that I couldn‘t
see who. To my knowledge, she‘d never been to Rochester, but she had lived in New York City.
I calmed at the thought that maybe she was afraid of running in to someone who would
recognize her from her human life. That must have been it.
―Calm down, love. We‘re fine.‖ I whispered into her ear before I spun her out onto the dance
floor.
―I know,‖ was her answer and we showed off a bit, smiling at one another as most stopped to
watch us.
Beautiful couple.
Oh, drat!-I wish he wasn’t with her.
Now that’s a woman right there.
So graceful and beautiful just like the doctor and his wife. Must come from good stock.
I wonder how committed he is to her? If I were to hike up my skirt a little bit and offer myself…
I focused on Bella in an attempt to get away from the sexual fantasies brewing around us. They
were stupid to think that I wasn‘t consumed with this woman in my arms. Not to mention that
our innate attractiveness came from our natural instinct to draw in our prey. I shrugged it off;
humans normally didn‘t know any better.
The song ended and Bella smiled up at me, the prisms of light from the chandelier catching in
her dark gold eyes. If she went without hunting for long, her eyes darkened to a brown that was
an echo of what her eyes were when she was human. I secretly liked it when she was a bit thirsty.
Bella‘s eyebrow raised and I realized that she heard me. I smiled and looked away, embarrassed
of my own thoughts. ―I crave your green as well, Edward.‖ Her voice was a whisper against my
ear and I couldn‘t help the shiver that shot down my spine. God, I love this woman!
―I love you, too.‖
―You shouldn‘t do that, you know. I can‘t hear you, except for the once.‖
―The tables have turned and poor little Edward can‘t take the heat!‖ She whooped in a strange
voice. She noticed and immediately drew away from me.
―I‘m going to go outside for a little while. You should go find Carlisle and establish yourself a
bit more.‖
I watched as she walked away, her shoulders a bit slumped and the unknown truth washed away
my joy. It was always there, the things she wouldn‘t tell me. I craved to know and would have
given up on her if I didn‘t love her as completely as I do. I would take the pain if it meant I still
had her, even if she wasn‘t sharing her whole self.
I found Carlisle and we made the rounds again, talking to Mr. Hale the most. We were discussing
the stock market and where we believed would be the most wise areas to invest in when I picked
up a note of alarm from a woman outside.
Oh my God!
―Excuse me, gentlemen.‖ I walked through the crowd as quickly as I could before getting
outside.
The gardens were empty say for two figures standing towards the edge of the garden wall and I
realized it was Bella, her stance in a slight crouch. Before I could do anything, anything at all,
Bella lunged, her hand silencing the screams of a blonde girl around our age with her hand.
―NO!‖ I roared. Bella wouldn‘t do this to herself. She wouldn‘t live with this guilt when I could
stop her. I was so thankful we were alone and the music was playing loud enough to drown out
the sounds.
Her head snapped up from the body of the girl and her eyes were blazing strangely, a frenzy I
had never known causing her to shake. Her eyes went from anger, to shock, to horrified, and then
to shame as she realized what she‘d done.
I made my way over closer and cut off my breath at the smell of the blood. Bella had bitten the
girl. I was too late. ―Why?‖ I demanded.
―She… her blood… it was so strong. I didn‘t know we would have singers aside from one
another. I thought there would only be one. I didn‘t…‖
Singer? ―What are you talking about, Bella?‖
―I thought only you would do that for me as a vampire. The call of your blood. I never felt it
though because we changed at the same time. I didn‘t know that there could be others who sang
for us as well. Her blood, it was… I had to have it.‖
I looked over the unconscious form of the girl and a different face flashed in my mind. The last
man I killed, in Chicago, this was the same girl who he was betrothed to. And even more distant
thoughts surfaced, from the night I had seen flashes in Bella‘s mind. I was horrified.
―So this is Rosalie?‖
Bella didn‘t say anything, just watched as a hummingbird skirted around the rose bushes.
BPOV
July 2nd, 1922
Edward had saved me from killing her. It was him to suggest we take her home, her heart still
beating and the smell of venom coming from her. She was still unconscious from the force I had
used but we both knew that eventually she would wake up screaming in agony. He carried her
off into the night as I went to find Carlisle and Esme, telling them that something bad had
happened and they needed to return home as quickly as possible without raising suspicions.
I berated myself on the way home, running towards my guilt. The only thing I could assume was
that fate was real and where I had screwed up with Edward, it had made Rose irresistible to me.
It might not have happened the way it was supposed to, but it happened.
Rose moaned and whimpered, her skin taking on the same paleness as the rest of us. It was my
venom that had done this to her. She would hate me for this.
Her parents had set out to find her, assuming she had run off because of a broken heart. She was
in love with Royce, who had never returned from his trip to Chicago, and was distraught over it.
If she only knew that he wasn‘t worth her love. I could only hope that Emmett would help heal
her, heal me, knowing that this was all right in the end.
And Edward… he was so confused, so angry with me. He wanted the truth and I didn‘t know if I
could give it to him. What would it change? Alice was already changed somewhere out there.
Jasper was as well. Those two were made for one another and would most definitely find each
other in the end.
Emmett, even, seemed to be a done deal.
―Edward!‖ I called, loud enough for him to hear me where he sat at the piano in the parlor.
His steps were swift and light as he came through the door, the dark look he had given me since
that night still in his eyes.
―Sit next to me,‖ I whispered, patting the empty space next to me on the chaise lounge.
―Why should I?‖ He was so hurt. But I could fix it.
―Because you need to know the truth. All of it.‖
With timid steps he walked towards me, sitting down just like I had asked him to. This man did
everything for me. I could do this for him.
―In the year 1918, you became sick with the Spanish Influenza. I was living with my parents in
New York City at the time you fell ill, and I knew it. I could always feel you for some odd
reason.‖
―You were with me in Chicago, Bella.‖
I nodded my head in agreement. ―The second time around I was.‖
He knew only flashes of my strange and fragmented memory that he had witnessed that night
back in Ashland. The confusion in his eyes urged me to go on. ―I could feel you and I knew you
were dying. It was all I could do not to fall to pieces. I stayed connected to you, thinking about
our time together, trying to find solace in what we had together. It was late that night, when I was
alone, that I noticed a strange sensation creeping throughout my body starting from my pulse
points. Then I was burning. I didn‘t know what it was and neither did my parents. The doctors
thought I had some kind of fever and ordered me to stay in my room and hope that I would come
out of it alive.‖
―Bella…‖
―Let me finish, Edward. You wanted this and I‘m giving it to you.‖
I waited for him to nod before I kept going. ―I woke up about three days later, noticing that I was
no longer in agony and that I was fine. The strangeness had passed as quickly and suddenly as it
had come. You were my first thought and so I went to connect with you, only to find that I could
now see through your eyes. I could hear what you were thinking. It wasn‘t long before I found
out you had been turned into a vampire and that I was still human. I didn‘t understand at the time
what had happened, but later, after some time went by, I realized that I too had become
immortal. I no longer got sick; I no longer had a monthly cycle, my hair seized to grow. I was
literally frozen in time but with a beating heart and human needs.‖
I held Edward‘s hand in mine while I dredged up the harder parts of what had happened. ―I left
my parents in 1922, knowing that I couldn‘t hold it off much longer. I did my best with trying to
get by, working and slumming, later putting myself through the foster care system.‖
―Why didn‘t you come find me, Bella?‖
I chuckled bitterly. ―You had absolutely no memory of me, Edward. You wrote me letters while
you were human, but I had never written you any. We didn‘t have pictures of one another. I was
the memory keeper while your mind was washed clean of me. It also didn‘t help my urge to find
you when I checked in, as I called it, and saw you running with Tanya Denali. You never loved
her, but it still hurt to see it. She was more so a friend than anything else. Carlisle knows of her,
but none of us has met her yet in this life.‖
―Is this all true?‖
―I wouldn‘t take the risk of you thinking I was a lunatic had this not all really happened. Your
mother verified it all for me when I hadn‘t spoken a word about it.‖
―What happened next?‖
―Well, for ninety years I walked alone, trying to survive, going with the notion that if I let myself
die, maybe something bad would happen to you as well because of how connected I was to you. I
couldn‘t hurt you. It was the year 2008 when I made my way to Washington State, getting placed
in a foster home in Forks, Washington. Little did I know that another family lived there as well.
It had been years since I looked into your mind so I had no idea. It was quite the shock when I
sat down in Biology class, looking next to me to see my new assigned partner.‖
―Who was it?‖
―You.‖
A knock interrupted us and Carlisle came in, moving swiftly towards Rose. ―She‘ll be done
before the hour is out.‖
I hadn‘t noticed that her heart had changed while I talked to Edward. I looked at the clock and
the hands read 1:47. I turned to Edward, ―I‘ll finish once this is all settled. I promise you that I
will.‖ I already felt lighter somehow sharing this with him. I needed to finish the story for not
only him, but myself as well.
―I believe you.‖
I took my place next to Rose again, holding her hand in mine. She fought against me a little,
lashing out that I was a monster, but her remarks were welcome. Rosalie Hale had every reason
to hate me now. The only thing I wished was that when she found Emmett, she wouldn‘t hate me
as much.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Eight
And When the Bough Breaks…
BPOV
Rosalie didn‘t take it well. I knew she wouldn‘t. The cracked plaster walls were merely a
reminder of her fists smashing through the hanging mirror, obliterating the red eyes that she now
had because of me. She was shocked and irritated once she realized her strength. I knew the
feeling of wanting to break something to pieces but finding no resistance, it normally fueled the
anger. She was a ticking time bomb, being sad and sobbing one minute, to being a beautiful and
furious newborn vampire the next. I knew it wasn‘t going to be easy to deal with Rose, but my
GOD!
Esme and Carlisle were the only two she would allow near her. I was still going to try though.
―Rose, will you please just let me talk to you?‖
―So you can tell me that everything will be alright? How do you know it will? Yes, I‘m
absolutely beautiful now, but I‘m a walking corpse! Who would want me? What man would
want a woman who couldn‘t give him children?‖ The obliterated wardrobe in the corner was a
result of Carlisle telling her that we as vampires could not conceive.
Emmett will want you.
Edward wants me.
Carlisle wants Esme.
Jasper will want Alice.
―You‘ll meet someone. You really should just calm down right now.‖
―Shut up, Bella! Don‘t speak to me as if you know what the future holds. I didn‘t have a choice!‖
Her words cut me.
―Rose, darling, Bella has quite the story of how she came to be. Maybe you shouldn‘t judge her
so harshly. She didn‘t have a choice more so than the rest of us.‖ Esme was rubbing soothing
circles down Rosalie‘s back, trying to calm her quaking emotions.
―Someone had to have bitten her. What? Was she minding her own business, just like me, when
it happened?‖
―She changed because she loved me,‖ Edward seethed, his voice cold and steely. He was losing
his patience quickly with Rosalie, which probably had something to do with things she was
thinking.
―What does that mean?‖
I took a deep breath and rehashed the tale which I had told Edward and Carlisle that night back
in 1918. I changed because I loved Edward, not because I‘d been bitten… which was slightly
true. No one needed to know that though, other than Edward and me when I finally got around to
telling him that part. I had been bitten, but in another life. If it brought some solace to Rose with
my half truth, that would have to do.
―What about my parents? Am I allowed to see them?‖
Carlisle handled the harder questions she was asking. ―It isn‘t safe for you to see them, Rose.
You‘re a newborn vampire and all of your uncontrolled instincts will drive you to kill them. The
mere smell of their blood and the sounds of their pulse will drive you mad while you‘re still
maturing.‖
― That sounds lovely! Do I really have to drink blood?‖ She sobbed tearlessly and I felt a little
guiltier.
―It‘s instinctual, Rose. It‘s not as bad as you‘re imagining.‖ Carlisle was playing diplomat. He
had taken the news of what I had done to Rosalie Hale in stride, not once judging me for my first
(and only) instance of lacking control. Esme had as well, patting my back and telling me that it
was alright to make a mistake. I had told her the same thing when she killed a hunter the
following October after she was changed.
―My throat hurts terribly. I‘m sure this isn‘t normal.‖
―It is normal, Rose. It‘s the thirst. Why don‘t we go for a hunt to help sate it?‖ Esme offered
gently, picking Rosalie up from the floor.
―I can‘t imagine myself liking blood. This is entirely your fault!‖ She lashed out at me one last
time as Esme and Carlisle walked her out of the room, explaining the logistics of hunting to her.
―Her mind is a vapid place. Couldn‘t you have picked someone a little less self-centered to
change?‖
I gave Edward a dirty look, sighing, ―I didn‘t have a choice. I‘ve never experienced anything like
that in my entire existence. Such lack of control.‖
―At least you didn‘t kill her. That would have weighed much heavier on your conscience than
having to deal with her for the rest of eternity. Trust me, I would know. This whole ‗singer‘
business is diabolical at best.‖
―She‘ll lighten up once Emmett comes around.‖
―Who‘s Emmett?‖
―I didn‘t get to that part yet.‖
―Well,‖ Edward motioned around the broken room. ―We‘re alone now, and from the sounds of
it,‖ he tapped his forehead. ―We‘ll be alone for quite some time.‖
―I owe you this,‖ I whispered, lacing my fingers through his. It was always strange to me how he
felt so warm, even though neither of us had a beating heart.
―I‘m listening, love. So I was your table mate in school?‖
I smiled, remembering the way my heart soared at the sight of Edward right in front of me after
so many years apart, and then my smile fell, remembering the loathing his features suddenly took
on once he caught my scent.
―I was so happy to see you, Edward. You have no idea what it was like for me, being away from
you while still loving you just as much as I ever had. Many times while in my desperation I had
wished that I would have been able to forget just like you, but I never did. I think deep down in
your soul you remembered me and loved me, which is why you never pursued any of your
pursuers.‖
Edward chuckled lightly. ―I had pursuers?‖
―Human and Immortals alike.‖
―I‘ve loved you always, Bella. I know I have.‖
I nodded my head in agreement. ―It‘s the same for me.‖
―I‘m interrupting you. Please continue.‖
I held his hand a little tighter. ―I had your letters that you had written me after I went back to
New York and the diamond heart of your mother‘s that you gave me the day I left. I knew that
you didn‘t remember me but I couldn‘t help but try. My scent was overwhelming to you and I
didn‘t want to confuse you with any of my sordid details so I found Alice, your sister for all
intents and purposes, and told her to give you the charm.‖
―Alice?‖
―The last and final pair to join the Cullen clan. It was first you, then Esme, then Rosalie, then
Emmett, who is Rosalie‘s future mate, and then Alice and Jasper, who were already an
established couple when they found you all.‖
―How did they find us?‖
―Alice is gifted. She‘s a psychic and saw that Carlisle would welcome her and Jasper with open
arms and show them a different way to live this life. Jasper is gifted as well, able to not only feel
but control the emotions of those around him.‖
―That‘ll be interesting. Does Rose or Emmett have a gift?‖
―No, though Emmett is insanely strong.‖
―That‘ll be lovely to deal with.‖
I laughed lightly. ―I love Emmett. He‘s incredibly funny and fiercely protective. It won‘t be hard
having him around.‖
―Did I remember you?‖
I nodded my head. ―Alice cornered me at my foster parent‘s house after I gave her the charm and
I told her the truth about everything, giving her my birth certificate and showing her the bits of
memorabilia I still had from you and my parents. She set up a meeting of sorts at the house in
Forks and you and I talked. It wasn‘t long until your eyes glazed over for a few seconds and a
deeply buried memory of me flitted through your mind. I was so happy when you remembered.
After some time, your memories began resurfacing more quickly and after a mishap with my
foster parents, Carlisle and Esme ‗adopted‘ me.‖
―So we lived together?‖
―Yes, we did. It was spring break when you and I decided to go back to Chicago to your parent‘s
home. It just seemed fitting to go back to the place our love began and it was beautiful. We made
love for the first time ever, you as a vampire and I still human. You were so scared that you were
going to break me, but you didn‘t‖
―I wonder how I managed that. Humans are incredibly fragile.‖
―You loved me. It was beyond my wildest dreams, having you share that with me when I craved
you for so long.‖
―What happened after that?‖
―That damn curse.‖
―What do you mean?‖
―Carlisle actually researched it, taking a vial of my blood and testing it with the abundance of
vampire venom available in the house of Cullen,‖ I laughed humorlessly. ―My blood neutralized
the venom, showing that if a vampire were to imbibe from me that they would die.‖
―I didn‘t drink from you, did I?‖
―No, you were so strong against the call of my blood, though I was your singer. If you had been
any less of a man, I can‘t imagine what would have happened.‖
―Then what did happen?‖
―We were in Chicago and it was the morning after we got there. I decided to go out and prune
the roses that were still growing in the garden because you had kept up everything throughout the
years as an ode to your parents. I was cutting away when I noticed a little hummingbird in the
birdbath so I walked towards it. I wasn‘t very graceful while human if you remember and caught
the toe of my shoe on one of the uneven stones on the walkway. I fell with the shears in my hand
and they pierced my heart.‖
Edward shuddered next to me, resting his chin on my shoulder. I continued. ―You found me
before I died. I‘ll never forget the fear on your face as my life force seeped out onto the
pavement. In a final act of trying to save myself, I asked you to do it, bite me, just to see if it
would work. You did, even though you were weakening. Your venom was futile and did nothing
as I slipped away. I had no idea that my death would kill you as well, but it did, and I‘m actually
thankful for that.‖
―Thankful for our deaths?‖
―That sounds strange to say, I know, but it was meant to happen that way. Your mother
explained it all to me.‖
―Please tell me what she said.‖
―When I came around, it was as if everything was a dream until I remembered it all. You and I
were standing in front of my parent‘s townhouse in Chicago, the same place we had been when
we parted ways. You should remember now what happened.‖
―You stayed.‖
―Right. Do you remember what your mother said to me when we got back to your house?‖
―You chose right this time.‖
―Exactly. I got the chance to do it all over again.‖
―How is this possible?‖
―I don‘t know. I can‘t question fate. Your mother was gifted as I later found out while you were
on your death bed. She told me that the curse had run in your family. It exists outside of
vampirism. Everyone in your family died the same day as their lover, your parents included. Isn‘t
that strange? She thought you would be different since you were born a male.‖
―This is insane, Bella. What was her gift?‖
―She could see destiny. Unlike a psychic with subjective visions, your mother saw the outcome
of life. It was unchanging, unless she meddled. Obviously she meddled with us. I asked her then,
if the same thing would happen and she told me that you had given me the key.‖
―What key?‖
―Your venom was still in my blood, even though you hadn‘t been changed yet. When Carlisle
changed you, I burned alongside you again, but only this time your venom made me change as
well.‖
―That‘s why we‘re different from all of the other known cases.‖
I nodded my head. ―I made a choice to stay in Chicago even though I could have taken you away
from the sickness that became the catalyst to your change.‖
―Why? We could have lived as humans, had children, and aged.‖ His voice was suddenly fierce.
―What about Carlisle?‖
His face softened a little.
―What about Esme? What about those you haven‘t met yet but you will grow to love and accept
as family? Who will be your family?‖
Understanding colored his gaze. ―You did this for the others.‖
―Everything has been for us. The Cullen family is and will be a part of us.‖
―I do have one question.‖
―Go on.‖
―How did Esme and Rose come to be the first time around?‖
―Carlisle found Esme in the morgue and noticed her heart was still beating. I‘m sure you‘ve
noticed that Esme and Carlisle had met before any of this.‖
―I did. When she was a teenager.‖
―Right. Royce, the man you killed in Chicago the night I came for you, is- was, Rose‘s fiancé.
Instead of you killing him when you did, he lived on, only to brutally attack Rosalie with his
friends after a drunken night. She was left beaten and dying on the streets and Carlisle found her
and decided to change her. He thought that you might find in Rosalie what he found in Esme.‖
Edward shuddered. ―That was and is never going to happen. I already can‘t stand her all that
much.‖
I laughed. ―She‘ll grow on you, but never like that. She was made for Emmett.‖
―And I was made for you.‖
―Exactly.‖
Edward cupped my face in his hands and kissed me then. I couldn‘t help but notice the sense of
relief I felt in sharing this with him. I kissed him back with as much fervor as he was showing
me and soon he had me backed up against the wall, trailing kisses down my neck. As much as I
wanted him in that moment, we had other things to deal with.
―Edward, I should clean up this mess. It‘s the least I could do.‖
He stopped kissing me and sighed. ―We haven‘t been intimate since we got back here.‖
I arched an eyebrow. ―We didn‘t see each other for a little over a year and you‘re going to cry at
me about three days?‖
He shrugged his shoulders and made a face, looking like a little boy. ―Yes,‖ he pouted.
―We‘ll go hunting later after they come back and show nature just how natural we can be. How
does that sound?‖ I asked suggestively.
―It sounds like a good time,‖ he whispered into my ear, igniting the longing I had for him that
always smoldered just beneath the surface.
―Well then hurry up and help me clean this up.‖
Edward chuckled and looked around the room. ―She‘s quite the destructive creature, isn‘t she?‖
Memories resurfaced and I couldn‘t help but laugh. ―I wouldn‘t get on her bad side, no.‖
―I‘ll keep that in mind.‖
―You better.‖
September 13th, 1922
BPOV
―Bella!-You got a letter in the mail!‖ Rosalie‘s trilling voice sounded through the house. She had
forgiven me a little, though she normally took her frustrations out on me. I was alright with that,
as long as she didn‘t hate me for eternity.
I ran down the stairs stopping abruptly where Rosalie stood, waving the letter in the air while she
was looking down at the latest issue of Ladies Home Journal. I took the letter from her hands and
saw that there was no return address on the envelope, just my name.
Bella Swan. Not Isabella.
For some reason, this scared me. With fingers that fumbled from my nerves, I tore open the lip of
the envelope and took out the single piece of parchment tucked inside. I swear my heart jumped
to life when I started reading.
Bella,
I just thought I would write and say hello since you already know all about me. I know that
we’re going to be amazing friends. I can ‘see’ it now, literally. Jasper and I will meet in August
of next year thanks to you leading me to him with your well timed thoughts. Now I’m just
waiting for not only Jasper, but Emmett as well. As much as I want to come to you now, I can
see that things need to happen a certain way. I don’t know if you’re like me, but you seem to
know things too. You must be better at seeing things than I am.
Anyway, I could see that this letter would make you happy so I went ahead and sent it. I can’t
wait for us to meet. We’ll have so much fun! Until then, I hope all is well. I’ll keep an ‘eye’ out
for you.
Your soon-to-be best friend,
Alice
P.S. Oh!-Happy Birthday!
I laughed, really laughed, because I couldn‘t help myself. Rosalie walked away from me, giving
me a look as if I were nuts, but I didn‘t care. Alice! I felt like screaming and jumping up and
down, much like the way Alice would when excited.
―What‘s making you smile so?‖ Edward came down the stairs, grinning at my display of
happiness.
He already knew of her, because I had told him, so I handed him the letter and watched as he
read it quickly.
―It‘s all real,‖ he breathed.
―Well, duh.‖
―Hmm?‖
―Of course it is! I‘m so happy. I needed this. I really, really needed this.‖
―I can‘t wait to meet someone who is so special to you.‖
―You‘ll love her just as much as I do, Edward. I know that for a fact.‖ I sobbed a little.
―Why are you crying, love?‖
―It‘s happiness, Edward. Between telling you everything and Alice sending me this letter, I
finally feel like everything will be completely okay. I wanted some kind of sign and I got it.‖ I
laughed again, my emotions bouncing around. I could cry and laugh and fly with the way I was
feeling.
I skipped out onto the porch, letting the rays of sun hit my features and break across my skin in
prisms of color. I felt like sparkling.
Thank you, God. Or Elizabeth. Fate or whoever. Thank you for listening to my prayers. I was so
giddy.
With a flash and familiar buzzing sound, I looked over at a brightly colored hummingbird
suspended in the air beside me.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Nine
Goldilocks and the Woodsman
May 25th, 1925
Tennessee
BPOV
It was a beautiful, overcast morning among the mountains of Southern Tennessee. Edward and I
were sitting on the porch swing of our newest home, a grand Victorian nestled in a wooded
valley away from town but close enough to be included. I absolutely loved it here, the fresh air
and openness that I had missed while living in the more populous Rochester. We were all
happier here. Well, all of us except for one.
―Insects everywhere around here, getting in my hair, it‘s ridiculous! Not a single good thing
around here,‖ Rosalie huffed while she ran her fingers through her hair. The moths were thick
around the house, as was the fog rolling in off the smoky mountains of Appalachia country.
―Wear a scarf?‖ I suggested as a question.
―Yes!-that‘s really going to help, Bella.‖
―She‘s trying to be nice to you, Rosalie. I would hope that you were intelligent enough to notice
common courtesy.‖ Oh, Edward, must you defend my honor at every moment? I personally think
he liked to give Rose a taste of her own medicine. All I could do was sit back and try not to
laugh.
―Shut your trap, Edward. No one asked you.‖
―I‘ll shut my mouth when you apologize to Bella.‖
―I have nothing to apologize for! She‘s the one who suggested we come to this area in the first
place!‖
I pressed my lips together trying to hide my amusement while they bickered like any normal
siblings. ―Perhaps you could stuff some moth balls into your pockets,‖ Edward offered with a
sickeningly sweet smile.
―Oh!-I wish I could just smack that stupid little grin right off your face! You… you… UGH!‖
Rosalie growled, stamping her foot on the porch, knocking a board loose. ―Look what you made
me do!‖
―I didn‘t make you do anything. You aren‘t a newborn anymore, Rose. You obviously don‘t
know how to behave like an adult.‖
I was biting my lip a little too hard to keep myself from laughing. Rosalie and Edward would
never truly get along. In another life, Carlisle had way too much hope in thinking that Edward
would ever fall for Rose. She represented everything he couldn‘t stand about the female
population: vanity, self-righteousness, and a penchant for fashion magazines. She also had a
knack for making it all about her. I sighed then, knowing that Emmett in his own, unfiltered way
would help mature her and calm her down.
―Well excuse me, oh wise one, how dare I act in a way that you don‘t want me to.‖
―Please stop with the name calling, Rose,‖ Edward said in a bored tone.
―Stay out of my head!-or better yet, stop being a jackass!‖
That did it. I busted out laughing. ―Come on, guys! No need to fight all the time.‖
―I‘m leaving. I need to get away from Edward for a little while before I end up breaking
something. Preferably on him.‖ She stomped off the porch and threw a lewd gesture over her
shoulder at Edward before she broke off into a sprint.
―I swear, Bella. She gets under my skin.‖
―But you‘ve come to care about her.‖
―It doesn‘t mean I don‘t have the urge to roll her around in mud like a hog.‖
―Ooo, that sounds like fun.‖
―You want to roll her around in mud too?‖
I laughed and smacked his chest lightly. ―No, but the whole getting dirty aspect sounds good.‖
Edward arched his eyebrow. ―Do you want to?‖
I stood up and walked to the edge of the porch and looked out over the valley, smelling the
sweetness in the air. The lush greenery and the dense fog reminded me of Forks. ―Catch me if
you can,‖ I said, smirking before jetting off into toward the weak morning sun.
Even with my second of a head start, it wasn‘t long before Edward was right behind me, his legs
much faster than mine. I yelped when his fingers grabbed at my waist and I changed direction
suddenly, shaking him off for a few seconds. Again, he caught me much too quickly, spinning
me around with his strong arms, pinning me against a large boulder tucked away among the
trees.
―Now, now, Bella. When are you going to learn that you can‘t run away from a vampire?‖
―Ha! I can outrun everyone. You seem to be my only exception.‖
―Maybe I was meant to catch you.‖ His arms tightened around my waist before he added, ―And
never let you go.‖
―I don‘t want you to let me go.‖
―Never,‖ he whispered before slanting his mouth over mine, kissing me in a temperate way that
caused me to shudder, vampire or not.
―Let me worship you,‖ his voice was thick. I succumbed to his hands, the way they pressed into
my skin, down to my bones while he undressed me slowly, kissing and nipping his way around
my body.
It was moments like these that I lived for. Edward could be wild and animalistic during sex if the
moment called for it, but when he decided that he wanted to make love to me, God help me if he
wasn‘t the best. Slow and steady he explored my body, starting with my mouth, working his way
down my neck only to conjure the lazy burn of ardor beneath my skin.
My hands went to the buttons of his shirt and he grabbed my wrists, pinning them above my
head while shaking his head no. This was about me. What a lucky girl I am. His free hand
roamed down my collarbone before he placed a kiss at the base of my throat. A light purr began
in my chest while I watched him go lower still, kneading my breast with his nimble fingers,
taking my nipple into his mouth. He freed my wrists and worked his hand down lightly, tracing
the cinched curve of my waist leading to my hip. He pulled me closer then, grinding my naked
body against him, letting me feel his erection straining through his trousers.
―Please, Edward, make love to me,‖ I begged, wanting this man to consume me.
―Not yet, love,‖ he grinned with a look of pure lust in his eyes.
My head lulled back against the boulder when Edward knelt before me, his fingers pressing into
the skin of my inner thighs, spreading my legs open. He looked up at me through his dark lashes
before his tongue darted out, tracing a circle around the silken skin of my navel. I was literally
aching for him by the time his mouth and tongue was where I wanted him to be. I opened my
eyes again just in time to see a shock of bronze hair lowering down between my thighs.
―Yes,‖ I whimpered, lacing my fingers through his unruly coif, pressing his face harder against
me. His teeth lightly grazed my sensitive bud and I cried out, my insides quaking with need.
Edward was never one to disappoint as two of his long pianist fingers slid inside of me, curling
upward. My hips bucked against him, seeking more friction as he played my body with precision
and skill. With a few more strokes of his fingers and flicks of his tongue, my mind went blank
and I was falling over the precipice, my body shaking with my release.
Edward stood and kissed my temple, whispering against my ear. ―I love watching your face
when I make you come.‖
―What about you?‖
―I‘m not done yet.‖
His arm hooked under my knees and he picked me up, carrying me over to the shade of a big oak
tree, laying me down into the soft grass. I leaned up on my elbows and watched while Edward
took his clothes off slowly, at a human pace, revealing himself to me. I smiled and lay back
down against the earth as Edward took his place between my legs, hovering his weight above
me.
―I want to hear you scream my name.‖
I could only do what he wanted as he slid inside of me in one smooth stroke. We were made to
fit together like this, a dance of two bodies with one common goal. A light feathery sensation
erupted in my chest and I could have sworn our souls were touching, if such a thing was
possible. With each of his thrusts in, I would squeeze my muscles around him, knowing that it
drove him mad when I did so.
―Bella.”
I smiled into his neck and kissed his alabaster skin, losing myself in the effortless sensations of
connecting with Edward. He raised my legs, putting them over his shoulders and leaned forward,
angling my hips up for deeper strokes. He placed his hands on either side of me and I held onto
his forearms, feeling the rippling of his muscles while his pace quickened. It wasn‘t long before
the coil of pleasure in my body tightened and spun out, driving me into the sweetest of all
oblivion.
―Edward!‖ I screamed, digging my fingers into his skin as I came with brutal force around him.
He followed soon after, plunging himself into me as deeply as he could go while he came with
powerful spurts. It was always my favorite part, hearing and watching Edward in the throes of
ecstasy, his groans music to my ears.
―I love you,‖ he sighed, moving my legs off of his shoulders and laying his head down on my
chest.
―I love you, too,‖ I smiled, curling my arms around him. Vampires were never truly weak, but it
was a wonderful illusion that came with sex to feel spent afterwards. Edward and I started
talking about his interest in getting a degree in medicine, something that I was fully supportive
of. It was beautiful to see the excitement he had over learning, the compassion he held in his soul
coming through while he talked about all the details of what he could do for humans.
―I‘ve been meaning to ask you something,‖ Edward said suddenly, jumping off topic.
―What?‖ I hadn‘t been looking into his thoughts recently because I no longer had anything to
worry about after I had told him the truth.
―I was talking to Carlisle about all of this a few days ago and, well, eventually, we‘re all going to
be Cullens because as the world grows and changes, I‘m sure the charade will become harder to
keep up. He‘s even talking about us becoming his wards and us going back to school so that we
can stay in one place longer. Anyway, I‘m still a Masen right now and will be for a little while at
least. Do you think maybe that we could… get married while I‘m still a Masen? I want you to
have my given last name, like it should have been, even if it isn‘t for forever.‖
My heart clenched in my chest at how vulnerable he sounded. Edward and I just… were. We
were fact, we were fate, and we were destined to be together. I‘d never really thought through
getting married even though he had proposed to me twice now. ―I would love to, Edward. I want
nothing more than to tie myself to you in every way possible.‖
The smile that broke out across Edward‘s face while we laid in each other‘s arms was worth
everything I‘d ever done up to this moment. I literally fell in love with him all over again, seeing
the hope in his eyes from the possibilities that lay before us. I was so… content.
EPOV
Bella and I hunted that afternoon, drinking of the local game. She was beautiful, my Bella, her
grace unparalleled as she sprung with confident precision at her prey, taking them down with no
hesitancy. It was mildly erotic to watch.
I was still on a sensory high, glutted with fresh blood and the gratification of knowing that Bella
and I were going to get married finally. It was a compulsory notion that I wanted her to have my
last name, my birth name, the way she was going to before immortality took over our lives. No
longer was our union going to be put on the backburner due to circumstance. She would be mine
in every way. I had to battle the urge to climb the tallest mountain in the area and scream it for
all to hear. Mine. I was possibly the happiest man on earth as we walked back to the house at a
leisurely pace.
Carlisle was due to be home soon, along with Esme who worked in a local emporium merely for
something to do. They were the golden couple in town, compassionate and friendly, quickly
earning themselves adoration and prestige among the population. It was an honor to be part of
this family. I was only beginning to realize how important they all were, even Rosalie. Bella was
right in her actions thus far and I smiled, having given her my complete trust again. It was
wonderful to know that she had enough faith in me to share this secret. I would gladly be her
secret keeper if it meant she was happy once again.
―Tell me about the future,‖ I blurted out while Bella and I sat on the sofa in the parlor, her
reading an Austen novel and I studying a tome of medical procedures.
―What do you want to know?‖
―Anything: music, history, big events, who wins the World Series in…19…50.‖
She laughed at my eagerness. ―Well, music is the one thing that I can‘t wait to happen. You have
no idea what it‘s like to have a song stuck in your head that hasn‘t been written yet. Like earlier
today, I couldn‘t get a song called ‗Magic Man‘ out of my head. You will definitely appreciate
the invention of the guitar, especially the electric guitar. While big band music is charming, I
miss the grit of a good rock band, like Nirvana or Stone Temple Pilots. I only have another sixty-
six years until the Seattle grunge movement.‖
I had an odd mental picture of rolling rocks down a hill that I quickly squashed. ―It sounds
wonderful. What about other things?‖
―Big events coming up… Well, the crash of 1929 is coming up quickly.‖
―What‘s that? It sounds horrible.‖
She nodded her head. ―It is horrible. The stock market is going to crash and the roaring 20‘s will
quickly fade into the Great Depression of the 1930‘s. Basically the world, America mostly, will
suffer poverty unlike anything before. We‘ll be fine obviously, but humans will have a hard time
with it. I‘ve already been thinking of ways to help the less fortunate. I definitely want to go back
to the major cities like Chicago and New York City and help feed the hungry. We could use
some of this money we spend so carelessly to give back.‖
―That sounds painful… this is real?‖
―You‘ll see.‖
―World Series?‖
―I honestly don‘t remember that. If Google existed I wouldn‘t have a problem.‖
―Who‘s Google?‖
―It isn‘t a person, but a thing. Computers are a big deal in the future. It‘s a machine that
processes information. Here…‖ she grabbed a pen and piece of stationary, quickly drawing a
strange contraption that didn‘t look like anything I‘d ever seen.
―What does it do?‖
―It‘s like… a typewriter, but it‘s run by electricity and much easier to use. You can do all sorts of
things on it. You can play games and do math on it. You can connect to something called the
internet which is normally run through the phone lines. It basically opens you up to a new world
where you can go to places called websites for entertainment or educational purposes. It all
comes up on the screen like in the diagram I drew. Google is a website that allows you to type in
what you‘re looking for and it finds the answer for you.‖
―Amazing,‖ I breathed, trying to fathom this Google and computer. ―Does it talk to you?‖
Bella laughed again. ―Um, well, kind of if you go to a place with sound. You can listen to music
on it or watch movies, whichever you decide.‖
A whole new world, right at your fingertips? ―Are there any wars coming up?‖
―World War II.‖
―Another World War? Why?‖
―It starts over in Europe because of a man named Hitler in Germany. He‘s a terrible man,
bringing about a thing called the Holocaust. He doesn‘t like people of the Jewish religion and
gathers them up and puts them in a place called Concentration Camps, basically where they
starve and have absolutely unspeakable things happen to them. America stays out of it for the
most part until after the events of December 7th, 1941.‖
―What happens?‖
―The U.S. Navy has a Pacific fleet in a place called Pearl Harbor. It‘s on the Hawaiian Islands
out in the Pacific Ocean, obviously. Hawaii ends up becoming our 50th state actually, in 1959.
Anyway, Japan bombs Pearl Harbor in a surprise attack early in the morning on December 7th,
and America declares its entrance into World War II after that.‖
My curious nature made me fall in love with Bella just a little more with all of her knowledge. I
wanted to know everything. ―Is there a World War III?‖
―I never got that far in the future if there is. There is a big thing in the late 1960‘s and early 70‘s
called the Vietnam War. I don‘t even want to get into that. It was dreadful to live through and see
how destructive it was. America was reborn in that time period. The loss of innocence for the
nation. I can‘t wait for you to meet a few hippies, though.‖
―A hippie?‖
―I can‘t even describe a hippie to you. Free love, baby.‖
I didn‘t quite understand what she meant by that. Love is already free. ―Well, is there anything
else amazing? I‘m sure there is.‖
―Oh!-We go to the moon in the 1960‘s.‖
―Excuse me?‖
―NASA builds a space shuttle, a rocket if you will, that flies up into outer space. They literally
leave the earth and land on the moon. Apollo 11 was the name of the shuttle.‖
―That‘s impossible, Bella.‖
She scrunched up her face at me. ―You asked, I‘m just telling you. Now I can‘t wait for it to
happen just so I can rub it in your face.‖
―I‘m sorry, love. This is just insane to me. I can‘t wait for this future.‖
―Me either.‖
Carlisle and Esme came home and we had to end our conversation so they wouldn‘t hear. Bella
whispered that they would think she was ‗bat-shit crazy‘ if they heard what she was talking
about, thus not wanting to risk it. Esme started talking to Bella about new summer fashions
coming out and Carlisle diverted my attention by asking me all I had been learning with the
medical books he had provided me.
Just hold on a little longer. Almost there. I heard Rosalie before she burst through the door, a
man with a mop of dark curly hair and much larger than she in her arms.
―Carlisle, you have to help me. I would have done it myself but I don‘t trust my control enough
to have stopped.‖
―My God, what happened to him?‖
I could smell the blood, taking note of the large gashes across his chest and shoulder. It looked as
if he‘d been mauled.
―It was a bear. Please!-he‘s dying! Don‘t let him die. I need him.‖
Not once since Rosalie had joined our family had I seen such vulnerability in her. As crazy as it
was, she truly believed that this man was her soul mate and her thoughts were frantic with
finding a way to save him.
―Rosalie, it would be best—‖
She cut Carlisle off before he could finish, her chest heaving with sobs. ―Can you do it, Edward?
Or Bella? Please!‖
She was desperate and pleading, not something she ever was. Bella and Esme were standing off
to the side and I looked up at Bella then, a deep sadness darkening her eyes. ‗Emmett‘ she
mouthed. The weight of Bella‘s truth crashed around me and I found myself speaking on
Rosalie‘s behalf.
―Carlisle, change him. I don‘t trust myself either. I‘ll teach him our way of life myself if I have
to, but please, just do this for her. For him.‖
It surprised Carlisle to hear me say those things. I was the one with the biggest problem over our
vampirism yet here I was, championing the end of mortality, with Rosalie of all people, for this
broken human in her arms.
―What do you think, Bella?-Esme?‖ Carlisle was already resolved to change him, but it was his
courteous nature that made him ask for their opinion anyway.
―Whatever you think is best, dear.‖
―I‘ll do it if you don‘t want to,‖ Bella said with so much conviction a shudder ran up my spine.
Carlisle shook his head, dismissing her offer and took Emmett from Rosalie, laying him down on
the sofa. I turned away when I heard the faint sounds of his teeth ripping through Emmett‘s flesh,
pumping him full of venom. Emmett groaned at the pain and a fleeting image crossed through
his mind. It was of Rosalie depicted as an angel, her soothsaying that it would all be alright.
I glanced over at Rose who was looking at Bella as if it were for the first time. I couldn‘t help but
grin when she wrapped her arms around Bella, her mind struggling to find the words of gratitude.
The day that Emmett McCarty came into our lives was the day that Rosalie Hale finally stopped
hating Bella.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Ten
BPOV
It was beautiful, the feeling of satisfaction that I carried with me while I watched my family
grow and mature in the months after Emmett‘s arrival. Rosalie and I were friends now and
Emmett and Edward were quickly becoming close. It did Edward a lot of good to have Emmett
around, who was the polar opposite of Edward‘s quiet pensive style.
The carriage house down over the hill had been converted into a home for Rosalie and Emmett.
It wasn‘t that we all didn‘t love living in the familial atmosphere together, but the two of them
were quite loud, quite often. Much to Esme‘s home-making dismay, Emmett was very good at
breaking things. He didn‘t mean to, but his strength was fierce.
It was Edward and I who were no match to his superior strength, even more so as a first-year
newborn, when he caught the scent of a woman his first month in. Edward watched upon Emmett
as the weight of murder crashed around him with a quiet compassion that I could never
understand. Edward chose to kill, whereas Emmett struggled with his control. I knew from
memory that Emmett would gain control over the blood-lusting side of himself and exceed
everyone‘s expectations, but it was still heart breaking to watch him beat his fists through the dirt
feeling like a failure.
I shuddered involuntarily at the memory.
―I didn’t mean to do it. I just… I can’t…” Emmett sobbed into his hands. It was heartbreaking to
see someone so strong and self assured look so defeated.
―It’s alright, Emmett. It’s instinct and hard to control,” Edward whispered, trying to comfort
him.
―It’s not alright! I knew her! She has a husband and three children who won’t have a mother
now because of me!” He looked down at the cool corpse of the woman who had ventured too far
out, too close to a newborn Emmett, the basket laying in the distance showing that she was
picking the wild blackberries in season.
―Emmett, I know I can’t say anything to make you feel better, but please, don’t berate yourself
too much. Esme killed once. I’m a firm believer in fate. Everything happens for a reason. It was
her time to go. You’ll remember this always, the next time you feel tempted, and you won’t do it.
I won’t justify your actions, because I know you don’t want me to do that, but I will say that this
was meant to happen for some reason, even if you don’t see it that way now.” I could only try.
―She’s dead. I’m a murderer!”
―You’ll heal from this; you just have to give it time.”
Emmett did indeed accept what he couldn‘t change. Esme was the one who helped him the most.
I never knew or asked what she had said to him, but it seemed to have worked. No other mishaps
had happened in the five months since and Emmett finally let go of some of his guilt.
Rosalie and I were sitting on the front porch, our bodies unaffected by the snow that decided to
fall overnight, teaching one another to speak Irish Gaelic for the hell of it when we caught the
trail of a conversation that Emmett was having with Edward around back as they chopped
firewood to help keep up our human charade.
―It‘s like… I never get tired. When I did it while I was human, trying to bring the girl to her, ya
know, peak… sometimes my side would start cramping and my muscles would start giving out.
But not now, I can do it all the time. I seriously like this whole stamina business.‖
Rosalie arched an eyebrow as Edward cleared his throat. ―I don‘t know any difference.‖
―I thought you and Bella were together before you two changed?‖
―We were, yes, but we didn‘t have relations until afterward.‖
―How the hell did you manage that one?‖
My ears perked up, as did Rosalie‘s. ―I thought about it quite often and Bella has always been a
very sensual creature, but I was afraid we would slip up and make a mistake, so I forced my…
urges aside and told her we would only do the deed after marriage.‖ I realized then how proper
Edward sounded compared to a crasser Emmett.
―You‘re not married now.‖
―We can‘t have children.‖
―My hat‘s off to you, man. I‘ve been pursuing tail since I got my first chubby.‖
Rosalie and I smirked at each other and turned our attention back to furthering our foreign
languages as their conversation died down. Or so I assumed…
―So does Bella talk dirty?‖
―That‘s private.‖
―I don‘t have any privacy around you. It‘s only fair that you share details.‖
―Does it matter, Emmett?‖
―Yep.‖
I heard Edward sigh and knew that he was rolling his eyes. ―Sometimes.‖
―I knew it. Rosie owes me.‖
I looked at Rose and she just shrugged her shoulders. Of course, Emmett was a gambling junkie.
Any kind of bet he could make, he would make. Jasper would only fuel him in later years.
Edward was mildly offended. ―You placed a bet on whether or not Bella says certain things
during coitus?‖
Emmet scoffed. ―Who the fuck calls it coitus? I bet you don‘t talk dirty. Then again, calling it
coitus does sound pretty filthy in that know-it-all way of yours.‖ I couldn‘t help but laugh when
Emmett started imitating Edward‘s voice. ―Oh, Bella!-do you like it when we coitus like this?
Do you want me to coitus you with my big, hard-‖
There was a loud splintering sound and a few choice curse words from Emmett as Rosalie and I
cracked up, running out back to see what had happened. Emmett was dusting snow off himself
and Edward was tense with irritation written across his face.
―What did you do?‖ I asked him.
―Threw a log at him.‖
Emmett laughed. ―Edward gets mad when people talk about coitus. Anyway,‖ he turned to me.
―I know your secret.‖
―Oh?‖
―Big words turn you on, don‘t they?‖
Edward crouched to spring and I used my arm to hold him back. ―You know it,‖ I winked at
Emmett.
I really did miss him.
EPOV
Bella‘s voice was sweet and soft as she sang a song I‘d never heard. The style was unlike
anything I was familiar with, yet I couldn‘t help the way it sucked me in with all of the reverence
that she was putting behind it.
―That song sounds so wistful, Bella. Is it from the future?‖
She spun around and faced me as if she didn‘t know I was there. Maybe she didn‘t. ―Yeah.‖
―I love when you sing. Your voice has a throaty jazz quality to it. I like what it does to me.‖
She smiled and ducked her head shyly and if she were still human, I knew she would be
blushing. ―You don‘t play the piano as much as you used to.‖
―I haven‘t felt as inspired lately.‖
―Is everything alright?‖
―Yeah, I‘m fine.‖
―What does Carlisle want to talk to you about?‖
I smirked at her, catching her red handed at reading my thoughts. I don’t know yet, Bella.
―Sorry!‖
I chuckled and kissed the top of her head. ―It‘s alright, love. I‘d never drop the connection if
roles were reversed.‖
―I know you wouldn‘t.‖
―What was the song you were singing?‖
―Still Remains.‖
―Who composed it?‖
―Stone Temple Pilots is the band. You‘ll get to hear it in 1994.‖
―It sounded beautiful and I agree with that line.‖
―Which one?‖
―If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend.‖
Bella nodded. ―I always thought of you when I heard it. It‘s about an obsessive love, all
consuming, like what we have.‖
―I wouldn‘t have it any other way, love.‖
She scrunched up her face and shook her head. ―Me either. Now go have that conversation with
Carlisle and tell me all about it when you‘re done.‖
―Will do,‖ I smiled, kissing her on the cheek before I made my way down to Carlisle‘s office.
―Come in,‖ my father called after I knocked.
I walked through the door and took a seat across from him, searching through his mind as to
what he wanted to discuss with me.
―How do you feel about Alaska?‖
―It‘s a territory that sounds interesting. Not a lot of inhabitants, less temptation which would
probably be better for Emmett. Lots of wild game. Why do you ask?‖
He smiled slightly and rolled out a map across his desk, showing me the area that he was looking
into. ―The Denali wilderness, Edward. I‘ve made quite a few acquaintances in my day and there
is a family of fellow vampires in that area. Tanya, Irina, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazor. All of them
drink from animals and have extended me, us, an invitation to stay with them on their land.‖
―Really? We‘ve never been outside of America before.‖
―Not as a family, no. Of course, I‘ve travelled far and wide and been to Alaska before. I assure
you that it‘s wonderful.‖
I watched through his mind‘s eye as he went through his memories of the lush wild with perfect
clarity. Rivers and mountains and forests and land as far as the eye could see with no modern
disruption. It was serene and untouched in a way that I had never experienced.
―Why aren‘t we discussing this move as a whole family?‖
Carlisle smiled. ―Your opinion is important. You can see what the others can‘t so it‘s easier for
me to run it passed you first. If you agree, Bella agrees and the others are sure to follow.‖
―Thank you, Carlisle, for still having faith in me.‖
―Always, Edward. I never doubted the man you would become.‖
I nodded my head, speechless. I never knew what to say when he praised me beyond that of
which I deserved. ―Shall we?‖
~*~~*~~*~
―Bears all over up there! I can‘t wait!‖ Emmett was more than enthusiastic about the prospect of
hunting in the Alaskan wilderness.
―I hate snow.‖ Rosalie was certainly alright with the idea, but she could never just agree to
anything without finding something, no matter how menial, to complain about.
―Well it‘s a good thing that we‘re physically equipped to deal with such rogue conditions, now
isn‘t it?‖ I asked sarcastically. It was usually me who smarted off to Rose. I couldn‘t help it. It
was as if it was in my very nature, in the very fiber of my being, to irritate her. But the feeling
was very much mutual. As much as Bella and I connected, Rosalie and I repelled each other.
Asinine Jackass!
I smirked at her, infuriating her more. Oh, Rosalie, if only you knew what I said about you in my
head.
Bella smacked my shoulder lightly, giving me a terse look. ―I can handle Alaska. Tell me about
Tanya,‖ Bella added, her eyes tightening with… possessiveness?
Oh! The Tanya… Bella‘s fingers weaved through mine and I couldn‘t help but smile at her show
of jealousy. It was quite adorable. I paid rapt attention to Carlisle‘s thoughts as he envisioned a
woman with reddish blonde hair, beautiful like all of our kind, but not my type. Bella relaxed a
little with my observation.
―Tanya is a good friend of mine. She‘s quite old, actually.‖ Bella smirked at this bit of
information. ―She‘s the leader, if you will, of their family, having taken over after her and her
sisters maker was killed by the Volturi. We won‘t go into details about that, for it was a dark
time. She‘s where the legend of the Succubus roots from in Europe, before they traveled to the
Americas, making their way to Alaska. But of course, her penchant for human men led her to
start imbibing from only animals, thus letting the humans live. They are the only other coven of
animal drinkers that I‘ve come across in my time as a vampire.‖
―Wait!-What? Succubus? Like a woman who lures men and has… her way with them?‖ Rosalie
was more open about her jealousy than Bella, as she looked at a stunned Emmett before turning
her gaze back to Carlisle.
―Just humans.‖ Carlisle assured her, chuckling lightly at what Rose was implying.
I’ll break her decrepit body in half if she so much as looks at Emmett with lust.
Bella laughed, apparently hearing Rose through my mind.
―Well I think this is a lovely idea. It‘ll be nice to have the freedom of being away from
civilization. I miss enjoying a good sunny day without being on guard,‖ Esme said serenely.
Carlisle grinned at her with blatant adoration in his eyes before turning towards the rest of us.
―Well, family, what‘s the verdict about Alaska?‖
―I‘m in,‖ I said.
―Sh‘yeah. I can‘t wait to go lurking around in caves to piss off some sleeping bears,‖ Emmett
laughed enthusiastically. ―You have to join me, Eddie.‖
―Emmett, please don‘t call me Eddie. I‘ve told you how much I hate that.‖
―You‘ll survive.‖
I rolled my eyes at him and looked at Bella. She sucked the corner of her bottom lip into her
mouth, a habit she‘d had even as a human, and nodded. ―I‘ll follow you anywhere, love.‖
―Fine. Snow, succubus, whatever,‖ Rosalie grumbled. She was so lovely.
―Of course I‘ll go,‖ Esme said sweetly. ―It‘s going to be good for us, really.‖
―Then it‘s set. I‘ll put in my resignation for the 1st of the year. Until then, let us prepare and
hope that the move goes by without a hitch,‖ Carlisle concluded, his excitement apparent.
I really hoped Esme was right and that this would be good for us.
BPOV
I was nervous about the move to say the least. I was pacing in Edward‘s and my bedroom,
worrying. Surprisingly enough, it had absolutely nothing to do with Tanya and her unrequited
lust for Edward. I didn‘t even know if she would feel it this time around, now that he wasn‘t
unattached. It was Eleazor that I was most worried about.
Carlisle had explained to us that Eleazor was gifted and was once a member of the Volturi, the
unspoken vampire royal family in Italy. His power, Carlisle had said, was to detect special
abilities in those around him. I was terrified that somehow, my little quirks and alternate life
would somehow be lain out before him. Would he see the curse and what it had done between
Edward and I? Would he see something I didn‘t know about?
I sighed and looked out the window at the night sky, almost wishing for Jasper to be around to
help me calm myself. Or to have Alice to confide in. I knew they wouldn‘t be coming for awhile,
but it didn‘t deter me away from missing the both of them. Jasper could calm me and Alice could
tell me if Eleazor would see more than I wanted him to. Damn it!
―Why are you so tense, love?‖
I whipped my head around and saw Edward standing in the doorway. I really was lost in my own
thoughts because I hadn‘t heard or noticed him. ―I don‘t know.‖
―I thought we were done with the secrets?‖
I frowned and walked over to him, snaking my arms around his waist. ―You‘re right. I‘m just
worried that Eleazor will see something about me that I don‘t want anyone else to know. You‘re
the only person I trust with all of this.‖
Edward kissed the top of my head in a gesture of comfort. ―It‘ll be fine, Bella. Surely I‘ll see
what he is thinking, what he‘ll get from you. If there are any problems, I‘ll do my best to protect
you and our secret.‖
It was so easy to keep falling in love with Edward when he was so understanding and protective
over me. I was so thankful and lucky to have him with me. And I liked that he said our secret. It
wasn‘t just mine anymore. ―Thank you.‖
―You‘re more than welcome.‖
A horrific sound came from outside, like splintering wood and complete destruction. My
widened eyes met Edward‘s that wore the same expression and we ran downstairs and out the
door to see what had happened. Carlisle and Esme were already standing in the yard, stunned at
the sight before us.
―Well… shit,‖ Emmett cursed, hiding his naked form behind an old barrel.
―It‘s your fault!‖ Rosalie hissed, covering herself with a sheet that she had plucked from the
rubble that was once the carriage house. Well, it still looked like the carriage house, but the back
wall was missing.
―What did you do?‖ Esme asked, horrified.
Emmett scratched the back of his head and scrunched up his face as if he were thinking of the
best way to explain the situation, which caused Edward to start laughing.
―Well, Rose got a bit defensive over this succubus chick and said she was going to remind who I
belonged to-‖
―Emmett!‖ Rosalie was clearly embarrassed.
―Well, baby, it‘s true!‖
―Oh my God!‖ Make that mortified.
Emmett shook his head and continued. ―Well, we were, uh, you know, doing the coitus and
things got a bit out of hand. I meant to throw her up against the wall ‗cause she likes it. I didn‘t
mean to throw her through the wall.‖
―Emmett McCarty, I‘ll kill you for this!‖ Rosalie whispered menacingly.
―Baby, you know I didn‘t mean to break our house!‖
―She‘s just really humiliated right now, Em,‖ Edward choked out between bursts of laughter.
―Fuck you, Edward!‖
Esme finally burst force with giggles of her own, pressing her face into Carlisle‘s shoulder to try
and muffle the sounds. Carlisle stood there with his mouth set in a firm line, his eyes dancing
with amusement. I wished I had his control as I joined Esme and Edward, knowing full well that
this was classic Emmett. ―It‘s a good thing we‘re moving soon.‖
―I hate you all!‖ Rosalie cried, sprinting into the trees for cover.
―I‘ll just, uh, yeah…‖ Emmett trailed off, holding the barrel over his manly goods and ran after
her.
It was a sight to see… the broken house… and Emmett‘s bare backside glinting in the crisp
moonlight as he disappeared into the forest.
Life is good.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Eleven
Into the Wild
April 30th, 1926
Tennessee
BPOV
We were supposed to leave for the Denali wilderness in January, but things didn‘t work out that
way. Not only did Emmett need more time to repair certain structural damages, but an outbreak
of Scarlet fever pulled the humanitarian in Carlisle to action. He had grown to have affection for
the citizens around us and his guilt at leaving them in a time where they needed a good doctor
the most would have plagued him for years to come. So as a family, we made a decision to stay
in Tennessee until spring.
I was fine with this. I still had reservations about meeting Eleazar. Oh!-and Tanya.
Unfortunately, the day had come when all of our suitcases were packed and the few belongings
that held nostalgic value were tucked away in crates, ready to be shipped by train. We also were
traveling by freight as it was the easiest way. Much to our luck, the railway from Anchorage,
Alaska to Denali had been completed in 1923 which made our journey much easier. We Cullens
really didn‘t do the whole ‗nomad‘ thing well.
―I didn‘t know I would feel like this, Rose!‖ I was startled out of my thoughts at Emmett‘s
booming voice and the sound of a door being ripped from its hinges. I peeked around the corner
of my door just as Emmett ran down the stairs leaving Rosalie quaking in his wake.
―Are you alright, Rose?‖
She ran her fingers through her hair and arched an eyebrow in that prideful way of hers, but no
amount of arrogance could hide the pain radiating off of her. ―Of course.‖
―You know you can talk to me.‖
―I know.‖ Her voice was clipped and I knew she was doing her best to remain stoic.
I looked at her, not with pity, but with concern, trying to let her know that it was alright to
confide in me. She opened her mouth and closed it again, letting a burst of air out of her nose.
―He doesn‘t want to leave.‖
My brows dipped together. Emmett was the most excited about this move. ―Why didn‘t he say
anything before?‖
―I don‘t know. I think it finally hit him that he was leaving behind the place he grew up. I know
he hated being in hiding and away from social interactions, but he took it all in stride. In March,
we went to his families homestead just so he can stand on the sidelines to observe and make sure
they were alright. We never discussed it again and made a conscious decision to keep it from
Edward as best as possible. If Edward knew anything of it, he never mentioned it.‖
I nodded in understanding. Edward had been the same when we left Chicago the first time
around and not only that, there was a huge part of me that didn‘t want to leave here either. ―It‘s
more than leaving behind the place he grew up.‖
―What do you mean? I left Rochester without a second thought.‖
―I know. You also never killed. I know that Emmett beat himself up over that much more than he
let on. It was thoughts of his family being so near that helped him fight against the urge to
consume. It‘s more than a birthplace, it‘s more like he‘s leaving behind his humanity and I‘m
sure that‘s scaring him to bits.‖
Rosalie looked at me in shock. ―I never thought of it that way.‖
―Emmett is so big and fierce, always jovial. It‘s easy to forget that his emotions run deep and his
loyalties and heart are what makes up the most of him. He‘s surprisingly sensitive.‖
―I should go talk to him.‖
―I think Edward beat you to it. You should let them talk. Edward went through a similar
experience. He would probably be the best candidate to give Emmett some clarity on this
situation.‖
Rosalie nodded and bit her lip, her posture rigid. In a flash she was standing in front of me and
she dipped down to give me a hug, something she‘d never once done before. ―Thank you, Bella.‖
I hugged her back and smiled. ―It was no problem at all.‖
―I hope you know that I don‘t hate you. You get on my nerves sometimes, but I know that I
couldn‘t have asked for a better sister. Although, I could have asked for a better brother
perhaps.‖
I chuckled lightly and smoothed out my shirt when she pulled away. ―Edward‘s not so bad. He
cares for you.‖
―Well I wouldn‘t want anything bad to happen to him either, but he seriously needs to adjust his
attitude. He isn‘t always right contrary to what he might think.‖
―He doesn‘t think he‘s always right. He just has problems with thinking too much on menial
things. He takes everything seriously, but that‘s just Edward.‖
―I guess. I‘m going to go see if Esme needs any help loading the car.‖
I nodded and watched her walk away in a bit of a daze. She didn‘t say it outright, but that just
wasn‘t Rosalie, yet I knew in that moment that she had found the contentment she was seeking
so desperately and that she loved not only me, but Edward as well.
Hell was certainly frozen over by now.
~*~~*~~*~
―Are you ready to go, love?‖
I looked over at Edward who stood on the other side of our bed which had been stripped bare.
Everything reverberated in the hollow echo of a house divested of any remnants of who might
have called it home. This was the first place we had lived that I truly didn‘t want to leave. Maybe
it was the happiness that I had found here after living under my own personal rain cloud for so
long or maybe it was my apprehension about going to Alaska. I wasn‘t sure. It felt as if I were
leaving behind my good days and heading willingly into the eye of a storm on uncharted
horizons.
I walked toward Edward and wrapped my arms around him tightly, breathing him in. ―I‘ll miss it
here.‖
He kissed me softly and nodded. ―I will too.‖
―We‘ll have to come back in fifty years or so.‖
He chuckled and held me tighter. ―Of course.‖
―Come on, people! We need to get this show on the road!‖ Emmett yelled up the stairs, the low
timbre of his voice almost too loud filling the empty spaces. The talk he had with Edward truly
did help him.
I sighed and took Edward‘s hand, leading him out of our room. ―No looking back, no regrets, a
new beginning for all of us. Let‘s make the most of it.‖
―Absolutely.‖
With a quiet sadness we left yet another derelict home behind us.
~*~~*~~*~
Each of us had our own compartment on the train barreling towards Alaska. We were going to
travel together but Emmett had become a fidgety mess after the first full day and when we had to
switch, Rosalie begged for privacy, promising she could keep Emmett under control if he were to
succumb to temptation. Carlisle finally agreed after Edward promised to ‗keep an eye‘ on things.
―This area is wildly beautiful,‖ Edward said, looking up from our game of chess to peer out the
small window.
―Yes it is,‖ I agreed. Alaska was breathtaking.
―Where do you think we‘ll go after here?‖
I moved a pawn across the board. ―I don‘t know. Maybe Washington again?‖
―You‘ll have to show me around.‖
―I‘d love to.‖ I scowled at him as he knocked out one of my pieces. He was always better than I
at this game.
―Checkmate.‖
―I don‘t want to play anymore,‖ I hedged sourly.
―Have it your way.‖
―Never win,‖ I muttered.
Edward smirked at me and I turned away, playing with the single rose sitting in a minimalist
glass vase on the window ledge, its petals looping down towards the sill. I ran my nearly
indestructible fingertip along the soft thorns, feeling them tickle my nerve endings. My mind
wandered over to our impending destination that came closer with each crank of the wheels,
curious and terrified at what might happen.
I didn‘t know how Eleazar‘s gift worked but I was morbidly fascinated all the same to ponder the
notion that he might be able to see what had happened or some smidge of the curse that Edward
and I rooted from. I knew I wasn‘t gifted per se, but there was some form of unnaturalness to the
situation. I smirked at myself internally for entertaining that particular thought. Vampires were
surely unnatural so that would mean that Edward and I were unnatural vampires. You couldn‘t
get anymore ‗black sheep‘ than that.
I looked at my love who now had his nose shoved in a book as I twirled the silky rose petals
through my fingers. He was gifted, but always knew he would be. Edward was made from
something special and I was lucky that he had chosen me when he could have had anyone. I‘d
met a few of the girls who had vied for his attention. They were the Rosalie‘s and Esme‘s of the
world, beautiful and charming with natural grace and softly spoken words. I was none of those
things. I ran my mouth and butted my nose in ‗man-business‘, challenged everything he ever
said, and never had the grace or charm to be ‗delicate‘. Edward was certainly a masochist for
sticking with me. I would love him unyieldingly for the rest of eternity for it, though.
So whatever Eleazar might have to say, if anything at all, I‘d be fine as long as I had Edward. I‘d
move mountains to be with him. I‘d already traveled through time. Anything was possible with
this love.
With a flash of white light a pain erupted in my chest in a way I hadn‘t felt in years. Physical
pain. I gasped and grabbed at my ribs, feeling a strange tingling sensation radiating through my
limbs that felt like a thousand ants marching though the dried out network of veins.
―Bella, what‘s wrong?‖ Edward was next to me in an instant, rubbing soothing circles on my
back.
―I don‘t know,‖ I choked out against the weight in my chest cavity, radiating and sharp.
―Should I go get Carlisle?‖
He didn‘t wait for my answer but I had half a mind to stop him as he stood to get our father
figure. I reached out and grabbed his hand, feeling a familiar spark ignite between our joined
skins. What I wasn‘t prepared for was Edward falling to his knees at my touch, his face
contorting into a mask of anguish as if I were torturing him. I wrenched my hand from his, no
longer feeling the strange energy in my chest, and connected to his mind…
EPOV
Bella was standing in the courtyard at my parents home with her back to me, the aria of her
heart pumping the sweetest of songs. She was human and so beautiful.
―Are you having a good time?” I asked in a chipper voice, letting the happiness of the day sweep
through me.
Bella turned her head towards me and the look on her face stopped me dead in my tracks. Her
eyes were wide and teary and her lips were quivering. Panic overtook me and I ran to her side.
“What’s wrong, love?”
She didn’t have to answer. My nose filled with the best, most enticing scent ever. I looked down
slowly to see her hand pressed flat against her chest, the red decadence seeping through her
fingers. I was horrified at my initial reaction and the venom that was pooling in my mouth, but
even more so, because my love was clearly bleeding to death.
I fought the monster within me and caught Bella in my arms as she fell towards the ground. I
noticed the shears in her other hand, seeing the blood on the short metal tips. “Bella, love; we’re
going to the hospital.”
I stood swiftly and went to take a step, only to feel like a heavy hand was pressing on me. I sank
to my knees with Bella, my strength beginning to fail me. This was odd.
―Edward,” Bella’s voice sounded like delicate glass, ready to shatter at any moment. “I’m
cold.”
My senses were still working, even if my strength had left me. Her heart was beating slower in an
erratic rhythm that sounded weak and vulnerable. I cried out as the reality of the situation set in.
Bella was dying and she was taking me with her. I couldn’t do anything but feel the weakness in
my bones and muscles that had not once failed me since I became a vampire.
―Love, I don’t know what to do. I…” My voice trailed off into a hoarse whisper. It was getting
hard to think properly.
―Try…” her soft whisper shook me. I knew what she wanted me to try and I didn’t know if it
would work. We were already dying, what more could it hurt?
I acted quickly, mustering my last bit of strength, not only for control, but to initiate the act. I
brushed her hair from her shoulder and pulled her shirt collar away from her skin. With a shaky
breath I inhaled, letting the venom fill my mouth before I lowered my teeth to her flesh, piercing
the skin. I sucked in a little, letting her warm blood wash over my tongue, mixing with the venom.
Even now completely weak, her blood still sent my body into animalistic turmoil. I snapped my
eyes closed and focused on the task at hand. Bella was dying and I was trying to save her, to
save myself as well.
With the last remnants of strength and willpower I had; I forced her blood and venom back into
the wound that my teeth had created. I licked the gash to seal it and hoped like hell my venom
would do something. I didn’t know if it would be enough or if it would make any difference at all,
but it wasn’t long until I got my answer. Bella’s heart was fading quickly, even though I could
smell my venom in the blood flowing from her chest wound. Her eyes went unfocused and closed
before they snapped open again, gazing into mine with fire. “I love you, Edward. Never
forget…”
I didn’t know what to expect from dying; if it was painful, or if it was peaceful. My attempt was
futile and went by with little notice, making no difference. An agonized sob tore through my
throat as Bella’s beautiful heart thrummed its last beat, giving over to the still silence. I yelled in
torture as my own heart shredded in my chest, my emotions having no release. I couldn’t move
as I lay there, Bella’s cooling body in my arms. My eyes closed at their own accord and with my
last bit of breath I whispered, “I love you too, Bella.”
I felt my consciousness slipping away and somewhere inside my memory I heard my mother’s
voice.
I pulled out of the horrible scene with a gasp, finding myself clutching Bella tightly. I was
unnerved and irritated, wanting to know what in the hell I heard my mother say in that…
memory.
―It really happened, didn‘t it?‖ My voice was a hoarse whisper.
―Yes.‖
―I don‘t… I‘m not sure…‖
―I don‘t either. I didn‘t think it was possible for you to remember.‖
I shook my head and looked up at Bella, wishing I knew what to say or what to do or how to feel.
I‘d never felt so jumbled in all of my life.
―Oh my God, Edward!‖
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Twelve
Unbidden and Buried
BPOV
I thought I had remembered everything. So clearly I could recall my human life, every decade,
every triumph, every joy, and every sorrow. My human memories were not murky and blurred
around the edges like Edward‘s but clear as a bell, crisp and infallible.
How wrong was I, to presume so much…
It was Edward‘s memory that triggered my own, one buried deep in the recesses of my mind but
so important.
―The rose is often misunderstood, exchanged mindlessly as a symbol of love between friends and
lovers alike, though they are so much more than that,” Elizabeth sighed, shaking her head a
little.
I watched with rapt attention as she cut away the browning leaves and withered remnants of
blooms that already their fruition had come to pass. Her wisdom was rarely given but important
when dished out and I had a feeling she was trying to teach me about much more than simple
gardening.
―How so?” I asked, mirroring her actions on a nearby rosebush.
Elizabeth put her gardening shears along with her gloves back into the pocket of her apron and
lovingly stroked the red velvet petal of a rose with her bare skin. “Look at the branches for
example: flexible and strong, weathering the seasons until the warmth of the sun kisses upon
them and they can bloom once more.”
I could only stand and listen as she told me about the roses, or life in general was more like it.
“The rose regenerates, destroying itself only to come back again. It embodies strength and
healing, martyrdom and love, grace and sacrifice wrapped in a delicate bud.”
―Do not be fooled though, for the rose can cause pain to those around them as well. From the
moment it begins growing, the thorns bud out, protecting what lay inside in a natural defense.
No life is truly lived without shedding a little blood,” she smiled sadly, intentionally pricking the
tip of her index finger against a thorn, watching as the tiny droplet of blood appeared against
her pale skin.
―So the rose is not only universal love but a story of beauty and destruction and above all else,
healing. Full circle it weathers the storms, realizing its own power and coming back unyielding
perennially.”
―That’s beautiful, Elizabeth,” I said, tears misting my eyes for reasons I wasn’t sure of. “I don’t
know what else to say.”
She smiled at me, slightly crooked like her son’s, and held my chin up with her cool, pale fingers.
“You’ll figure it out when you need to, Isabella.”
I blinked a few times as the memory winked out, leaving me unhinged. Edward was still on the
floor with his brow furrowed as if he were thinking too hard about something. He looked up at
me then and I saw the million questions, the truest acceptance of what had happened in a
different time. He knew it was all real. I looked away, needing a moment to myself, not knowing
how to process anything when I noticed the rose I had been touching in the vase on the window
sill. It was brown and dead, all life completely gone from it when just moments before it had
been in full bloom.
I sucked in a breath and looked around the room for any clue that would explain what the hell
was going before my gaze settled on an utterly bewildered Edward. My senses were on overdrive
so I gasped when I noticed movement in my peripheral vision. The shade on the window of our
compartment door was only half pulled, leaving a gap at the bottom. I flicked my eyes over to
get a better look and my mouth dropped at what I saw peeking back at me.
―Oh my God, Edward!” I pointed to the window. “I can’t believe this!”
Before he could react I ran to the door and flung it open, wrapping my arms around a beaming
Alice.
―I couldn‘t bear to stay away any longer!‖ she exclaimed, hugging me back just as fiercely.
―I can‘t believe this!‖ My whole body was wracked with undiluted emotion at seeing the best
friend I had ever had. ―I can‘t tell you how happy I am to see you.‖
―I came when you needed me most. I have impeccable timing,‖ she said with mock arrogance
that made me smile. My eyes were pricking and if I were human, I would have been bawling my
eyes out.
―How right you are,‖ I whispered, trying to get a hold on my emotions before a wave of calm
washed over me. I turned slowly with an eyebrow raised. ―Hello, Jasper.‖
―Bella, what‘s going on?‖ Edward came up behind me, wrapping me in a protective embrace
while eyeing Jasper curiously. Jasper was covered in scars from his days of newborn vampire
wrangling and if I didn‘t know his history, I would have been as wary as Edward seemed to be at
the sight of him.
―Alice and Jasper have finally decided to join us. Don‘t worry.‖
―Hi, Edward! It‘s so nice to finally meet the person I‘ve been seeing for the last two years!‖
Alice said excitedly, clasping her hands together.
Edward was concentrating, obviously looking through Alice‘s thoughts and that of Jasper‘s as
well, feeling them out in his own special way. ―I think we need to take this conversation to a
place a little more private. People are getting curious.‖
I ushered everyone into the compartment, sliding the door closed behind me before I took a seat
on the bench across from Alice and Jasper. Edward held my hand tightly and offered me a tight
smile as if to tell me that I could commence with an explanation.
I began to talk but Alice cut me off and Edward tensed beside me simultaneously. ―Bella, I wish
I had good news but I don‘t. While I want to revel in the happiness that today should be bringing,
I‘m the bearer of bad news,‖ Alice said ominously.
―What‘s going on?‖ My heart plummeted and I didn‘t think I could handle much more in a day. I
still needed to go through what the memories meant and why the flower had suddenly died aside
from everything else.
―We‘re heading into disaster.‖
―The Volturi,‖ Edward whispered beside me. I looked into his mind and saw Alice‘s vision
playing out paired with Edward‘s own recollections of the painting Carlisle had of himself when
he had spent time with them many years ago.
―Carlisle knows them. Why is it disastrous?‖ I was confused.
―You, Bella. How you came to this existence without having been bitten. Carlisle also mentioned
to Eleazar that you‘re immune to Edward‘s capability which is similar to Aro‘s as far as mind-
reading goes. He wants Edward as well.‖
―What do you mean he wants us?‖
―Join or die, Bella. They‘ll meet us as soon as we get off the train. It was a new decision which is
why I decided to meet you now instead of later.‖
―Can we run?‖
―You can, but they‘ll pluck us off one by one until one of you folds and comes to them. As far as
I can see, you need to meet with Eleazar, Bella. I can‘t see passed the meeting, but I have a
feeling that it‘s crucial.‖
―Why does she need to meet with the man who caused this?‖ Edward asked through gritted teeth.
He was so rarely angry that it was always frightening to me when he was on the verge of losing
his temper.
―He didn‘t know they would do this. We only have a small window of time before they arrive in
Denali. They‘re travelling on foot as we speak. Carlisle wanted to know if Eleazer knew
anything more about your particular situation, which he didn‘t, so he inquired on Carlisle‘s
behalf.‖
―You changed without being bitten?‖ Jasper finally asked, blatantly shocked at the prospect of it.
I nodded. ―It‘s a curse. Edward and I are what legends among vampires are made of.‖
―You‘ll have to explain this to me better when we have more time.‖
―We need to talk to the family, Bella. We‘ll be docking at the station in…‖ Alice‘s eyes glazed
over for a second and Edward looked completely fascinated by what he saw through her mind.
―Twelve minutes. The Denali‘s will accommodate us. We need to plan carefully.‖
―Alice, you don‘t know if this will end violently do you?‖ I asked, dreading the answer.
―Do or die, Bella. The message is there but I just can‘t see the outcome. Something is blocking
me from seeing it and I‘m quite irritated to say the least. I‘m hoping it will clear up once you
meet with Eleazar.‖
―I don‘t know what to make of any of this,‖ Edward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose
between his thumb and forefinger. ―What happened before these two showed up and now this
shit with the Volturi. I can‘t wrap my head around any of it.‖
―What happened before we came?‖ Alice asked, peeking at Edward and I curiously.
―It wasn‘t anything of importance, just a little disagreement between Edward and me. Can‘t
agree all the time,‖ I smiled, hoping it would appease her.
Jasper eyed us both and nodded minutely in my direction, letting me know that he was aware of
the lie that I had just told. My emotions were all over the place and even if I could smile
outwardly for the world, his being an empath would be a dead giveaway.
―It‘s very personal and we would rather not discuss it in front of others, that‘s why,‖ Edward
huffed in Jasper‘s direction.
Jasper‘s eyes narrowed and Edward began what seemed like a one sided conversation. ―Yes, I
really can.‖
―No I can‘t shut it off.‖
Edward smiled a little. ―It‘s very loud, all the time, unless we‘re away from civilization.‖
―I‘ve never tried testing it, but the more I know what a person‘s inner voice sounds like, I usually
have a two to three mile hearing range.‖
Alice and I began a conversation of our own, leaving Jasper alone to find his amusement in not
having to speak aloud to Edward.
―So, Bella, how did you know about me? Are you a psychic too?‖
I shook my head and sifted through different scenarios of which would make the most sense. She
knew that I knew about her, but how was the question. ―I just knew. It was so strange. I just
foresaw one day that I would meet you and Jasper as well. I can‘t explain it any better than that.
It hasn‘t happened again with anything else.‖
Alice looked puzzled before she shrugged her shoulders. ―Oh well. I can‘t explain how I see
things and I‘m sure Jasper can‘t explain why he can feel and control emotions. Not to mention
Edward‘s ability which I‘m slightly envious of.‖ She threw a wink at Edward who was now
paying attention to us.
―Believe me, I‘d much rather see the future than be assaulted with the mundane, everyday
workings of the human mind.‖
―Well, why don‘t you put it to good use? I‘d take out all the killers in this world before they
harmed the good,‖ Jasper deduced, much to Edward‘s chagrin. ―Why the guilt?‖
―Edward has a sordid past. Let us hope that we‘ll have plenty of time to get to know each other‘s
quirks when everything blows over with the Volturi. The train is stopping now,‖ I said, coming
to Edward‘s aid. He smiled at me in a silent thank you which I returned.
―Let‘s go find the others,‖ Edward sighed, his mouth now set in a grim line.
―Jasper and I need to go gather our things from our compartment. We‘ll meet you in front of the
station along with the others.‖
―Alright you two, we‘ll see you in a few minutes,‖ I grinned solemnly, so glad to have my friend
back but so very worried about what was coming.
Jasper and Alice left quickly, leaving Edward and I alone to gather our few things and reflect on
what the hell was going on.
―Bella, I‘m scared.‖
―Me too, Edward. But we‘re together now and nothing and no one is going to change that.‖ I
would rather die trying than to be separated from Edward again. That just wasn‘t going to
happen.
―Carlisle told me about the Volturi. He left them for a reason. Apparently they‘re all power
hungry, especially Aro, and they‘re arrogant among our kind. Vampires began as nomads,
feeding off of the living, keeping the secret… Aside from the Romanians, the Volturi swooped in
and began setting rules, making laws, abusing power. Carlisle left them because it wasn‘t right
what they were doing and I trust Carlisle‘s opinion on matters of ethics. I‘m talented so I‘m a
prize. I‘ll make a great addition to the Volturi guard in Aro‘s mind, I‘m sure,‖ he spat bitterly,
clenching his fingers too tightly on the book in his hands, warping its shape.
―Edward, love, worrying isn‘t going to help. I trust that Carlisle will have something to say about
all this. He knows a lot of people, as do the Denali‘s. I‘m sure we‘ll be alright. We have a lot on
in our favor with your gift and Alice‘s. If worse comes to worse, we have Jasper and his polemic
mind to help us map out a plan. Please, I need you to be strong,‖ I pleaded, kissing him firmly on
the mouth.
He pulled back, looking into my eyes with his own golden ones blazing in a familiar way that
still gave me butterflies in my stomach. ―I‘ll die to keep them away from you, Bella. I won‘t let
them touch you as long as I‘m still standing.‖
―I feel the same way as you, Edward. I‘d gladly die for you if it meant you were safe.‖
Edward smiled suddenly, a strange hollow laugh heaving forth. ―I remembered our deaths or
whatever they were. I wonder if the rules still apply now. You die, I die, I die, you die… they
won‘t be able to kill either of us if they want only one of us.‖
How could I have forgotten something so crucial? ―You‘re right, Edward.‖
He grinned and tucked me into his chest, making me feel safe in a way that only he could. ―Of
course I am, Bella. Death doesn‘t scare me nearly as much as it did just an hour ago. Especially
not if that‘s where you are.‖
―Life would have no meaning without you in it. I‘ve lived enough time without you to know
that.‖
―I‘m sorry I wasted so much time with my selfishness, love.‖
―You needed that time to grow, Edward. I was more accurately referring to my human life before
we came back around again.‖
―Full circle,‖ he whispered, kissing the top of my head.
―Just like the rose,‖ I said, remembering Elizabeth‘s words. I opened my eyes and looked down
at the withered rose in the window, wondering what it meant for me, for us.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Thirteen
Storm
EPOV
It felt like death row, driving into the dark to meet with the Denali coven. I was at the wheel with
Bella sitting next to me while Alice and Jasper sat in the back, Alice keeping an ‗eye‘ out on
things. It was interesting, seeing the different scenarios floating through her mind as if she were
imagining things. Had I not witnessed the conversation through her mind that we would have
with the rest of the Cullen clan ten minutes before it actually happened, I would have thought her
fraudulent.
Carlisle was immediately accepting of the ominous news that Alice brought with her, knowing
all too well that Aro was power hungry, wanting to not only be the best, but to possess the best as
well.
Panic was naturally the emotion that came easily to the family, gripping Rosalie who surprised
me when she pushed the greatness of her fear aside and proclaimed with conviction,“I’ll fight to
the death if it comes down to it. I’m a vampire, yes, and I’ve done nothing wrong. I haven’t even
drunk human blood, ever! Not only that, I’m an American. Born and raised and keeping it that
way for as long as I can get away with it. No organized group of Italians is going to tell me what
to do.”
―Yeah, they’re like some kind of vampy mafia. I already lost one family and I’ll be damned if I
lose another,” Emmett added, squeezing Rosalie‘s hand to reassure her.
Eleazar, for some reason, seemed to be the key in this predicament we found ourselves in. Alice
was certain, although the reasons were unclear, that Eleazar would have the answer we were
seeking. She also knew that something was riding on Bella‘s shoulders but none of us knew
what. We were clearly at a crossroads and I had never been more lost nor terrified as I was for
Bella.
Carlisle had suggested that Bella may have a latent talent, something that needed to be provoked
to become apparent which would explain what Alice was saying as far as needing to speak with
Eleazar went. He had the talent to see ‗gifts‘, to weigh the supernatural abilities of the
supernatural themselves. I had to have faith that all of this would turn out the way we needed it
to.
―We’re here, Edward.”I heard Carlisle‘s thoughts from the car we were following.
The brakes groaned as I pressed the pedal to decelerate, creeping around to a large rustic cabin
seemingly embanked in the side of a hill. The Denali‘s were established out here in the
wilderness, never having to leave because mortals rarely ventured so far out, their home matured
and appearing to be lived in. I couldn‘t help but smile slightly at the thought that maybe Bella
and I would find some form of solace after the Volturi situation blew over and we could establish
roots somewhere. It was so hard to find that spark of hope.
Bella looked up at me with a tight smile, wringing her hands together in her lap. Vampire or not,
she still had nervous habits carried over from her human life.
I reached over and stilled her hands with my own, holding them tightly. ―We can do this, no
matter what they may throw at us as long as we do it together. We made too many mistakes in
the past, Bella. Those mistakes were losing sight of why we‘re here in the first place. What we
share makes every fight worth it. I could repent for leaving, for hiding things, for being angry
with you for hiding things, for the rest of eternity and it would never be enough.‖
―Edward, I love you. I never had to forgive anything with you because everything you‘ve done
has been justified. When you left, when you rebelled, when you were angry… everything had a
plausible catalyst. I know this is worth it. I know better than most just how much worth this love
holds.‖
Alice cleared her throat from the backseat, pulling Bella and I from our personal bubble where
there was no gloom or dark forces ahead. All I wanted was for the world to stop, or leave us
alone and let Bella and I just exist for once. I would fight for this, but God, I was so tired of
fighting.
―We don‘t have a lot of time. Eleazar is expecting us,‖ Alice said, opening the door to the car
and scooting out.
―Let‘s get this over with, love,‖ I sighed, brushing my lips across Bella‘s knuckles.
―Forever,‖ she whispered so low it barely reached my ears.
Yes, forever.
Bella and I followed the rest of our family into the house ushered in by a statuesque blonde with
surprisingly short hair. Irina…
Vaulted ceilings and the resinous scent of cedar timber invaded my nostrils, along with the sweet
smoke of a crackling holly fire that seemed like an afterthought for ambience due to all parties
being impervious to cold.
―Welcome to our home,‖ the lilting voice with a faded Russian accent greeted us. I looked up to
see a strawberry blonde woman walking down the stairs looming before us at a human pace.
―Tanya,‖ Carlisle greeted with a smile, holding his hand out to her.
Ah, the infamous succubus.
―And to think I was worried about that,” Rosalie sighed internally, seeing Tanya as incomparable
to her own beauty. I smiled lightly, appearing to those witnessing it to be a welcoming gesture,
but really it was because of Rose.
―Why the smiles?‖ Tanya asked with disdain. My first reaction was to become defensive until I
peeled away the layers and found the seething hurt she was hiding behind a carefully crafted
façade. Flashes of a woman appeared in her mind, beautiful and reverently loved by the three
Denali sisters as a mother figure. The woman was holding an even more beautiful baby… until
the baby turned around and its crimson eyes leered in Tanya‘s direction.
I had heard tale of immortal children, babies bitten by vampires, usually women vampires in an
attempt to fill the void of going childless for eternity. It was immoral and wrong to take such an
innocent life and subject it to this existence as a monster. And the babies were monsters. Their
infant minds were unable to comprehend judgment or balance right and wrong, left only to feed
their desires which happened to be for blood. Strength and speed given to those without the
capacity to yield it with restraint. It was sickening.
Yes, Tanya Denali knew exactly who the Volturi were, having watched them dismember and
burn the woman they loved so greatly without trial. The woman had been repentant, promising to
never do it again, that she knew she was wrong, but the Volturi wouldn‘t hear of it. With too
much ease they killed, leaving an ache to forever mar the souls of the Denali‘s.
―It‘s just nice to meet you,‖ I said, feeling remorseful for letting myself be amused by Rosalie‘s
pettiness at such a dire time.
―Likewise,‖ she said her expression still somber. ―How much time before they arrive, Carlisle?‖
Carlisle looked to Alice who scrunched up her face as she often did while ‗seeing‘, her eyes
taking on a faraway expression for a few seconds. ―Forty eight minutes. They‘re traveling
through the Yukon right now.‖
―No time at all,‖ Kate, the third sister said. All three of them hated the Italian vampires coming
for us.
―Where is Eleazar?‖
―Here,‖ a frail vampire announced himself, walking around the corner with what appeared to be
his mate, Carmen. His mind and hers as well were calm and serene, barely audible with my gifts.
―Interesting…”
I heard him now that I was focusing.
―The both of them. Interconnected unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Power in that bond. But what?
She’s a shield, blocking. Maybe just a little push…”
―May I have your hand, Bella?‖ Eleazar asked, her name rolling of his tongue in a fading Italian
dialect.
The hand that I had clenched around Bella‘s waist loosened and I smiled, trying to reassure her
in the only way I knew how. This was important.
We all held our breath as Eleazar took Bella‘s hand, his mind waking up at the different
impressions he got from her.
―So much pain, but there is healing there. Wounds closing at a touch. Transferring life. Leaving
the living left for dead… Uncontrollable… but hidden deeply. Unaware. Dormant. But what
would it take to wake it up?”
An inferno blazed in his mind, making me wince as he gasped. ―Goodness, my child! I‘ve never
seen anything like this.‖
―What is it?‖ Bella asked sharply, recoiling from his touch.
―You‘re a puzzle if I‘ve ever seen one, but oh so very powerful. Dare I say too powerful for
one‘s own good?‖
―Cut to the chase, Leaz, what‘s up with Bella?‖ Emmett cut in, his mind far too curious to not
speak aloud what he wanted to know.
―Partum attero.‖
―While I can recognize it, I don‘t speak Latin, so please feel free to translate,‖ Bella sighed,
obviously weary with the curse we were already forced to bear.
―To bear and to weaken, create and destroy. But the key to your power is him,‖ Eleazar gestured
towards me. ―The mind reader.‖
―You‘re speaking Japanese, sir. I don‘t know what you‘re talking about.‖
―He is the only one who can unlock you. Has he ever heard your mind?‖
―She‘s quiet to me,‖ I said before I remembered a night long ago, the night that Esme came to us
and I heard Bella. She was hysterical then, emotionally unstable… weak.
―Once,‖ Bella whispered in a tiny voice, her brow puckered and her eyes shining with the strange
incandescence they took on when she was going through the motions of crying.
―Love, don‘t cry,‖ I said softly, pulling her towards me in a gesture of comfort.
―How does he unlock it?‖ She asked Eleazar, leaning her weight against me.
―I don‘t know, Bella. You‘re too shielded for me to enter that far. It isn‘t your fault, you‘re just
very strong.‖
―What exactly can I do?‖
―If unleashed, you can heal and destroy equally.‖
Bella gasped and put her hand into her jacket pocket, pulling out weathered brown pieces that
turned to dust in her fist. ―This afternoon on the train, before Alice and Jasper came to us, this
rose was sitting on the window sill. I got a strange pain in my chest while touching it and then
Edward was in front of me… it happened so fast. It was like an electric shot, a jolt, when I
touched him and the pain was gone and he was gasping on the floor. It wasn‘t until afterwards
that I noticed the rose that was blooming just moments before, withered and dead in the vase.‖
―Why didn‘t you tell us?‖ Carlisle asked, concern for me and Bella equally showing through.
―It was too much to process.‖ She looked at Eleazar. ―What I want to know is if I caused this?‖
―An event such as this would run paralleled to your gift. What were you thinking of at the time?‖
―How I would move mountains for this love,‖ she said quietly, her eyes dazed as if she weren‘t
truly fathoming what was being said. But that was just Bella. She disconnected, almost stepped
outside of herself, when faced with difficult situations. It was a strength.
―Maybe that‘s the key,‖ Eleazar said, unsure but hopeful with his hypothesis.
―Can she stop them?‖ Carmen asked the first words she‘d said all evening.
―I don‘t know.‖
We didn‘t know. This was just another burden for Bella to bear on her shoulders.
BPOV
It was all on me. I didn‘t know how to unlock this gift or whatever the hell it was anymore than
Eleazar did. He had given it a shape but I was too blocked off for him to gather any real details
about exactly what I could do.
I turned around, not willing to face my family or the Denali coven and fled out the door, hoping
the cool air would invigorate me somehow. I missed the creature comforts of humanity.
I prayed, to whom I wasn‘t sure, but I asked anyway. ―What am I supposed to do?‖ I whispered
into the inky black night, the stars beautiful and twinkling, although I felt as if they were
mocking me. What if all of this was in vain? What if building this family had been futile and I
was the reason that caused their demise? Was I selfish for loving Edward the way I do? Had I
made the wrong choice by staying in Chicago? Should I have killed myself in the name of
martyrdom?
No – absolutely not. That would have killed Edward. I couldn‘t kill Edward intentionally.
If I had ever felt lost before, it was nothing compared to the sinking feeling reverberating in my
chest. Not only was the family I loved in danger, but the whole reason for my existence was in
danger as well. I could not let anything happen to Edward.
A soft buzz behind me sounded and my nerves reacted, incredulous fear thrilling through me. It
was out of season, nearly impossible this far north for that familiar sound. I turned slowly, the
moon glinting off the wings of a hummingbird, its vibrant colors visible to me with my precise
vision.
―You chose right this time,‖ I heard Elizabeth‘s voice clearly, as if she were standing right next
to me.
My defenses were instant and a short scream escaped me, causing Edward to fly out the door
running to my side in half a second. ―What‘s wrong!?‖
―I-your mother – I swear I heard her.‖ I looked around frantically, the hummingbird gone.
―There was a hummingbird.‖
―Bella, that‘s impossible, hearing my mother.‖
―Your mother has passed on, yes?‖ Carmen asked Edward, having overheard what we were
talking about.
―Yes.‖
―And you saw a hummingbird?‖ She asked me, smiling shyly in her own quiet way.
I nodded and she continued. ―The hummingbird is a symbol of the divine messenger, believed to
travel through astral planes and suspend oneself among chaos. There is a reason for everything,
Bella.‖
―I know more than the average person just how much there is a reason for everything.
Elizabeth,‖ I laughed slightly, ―once told me that life was one big puzzle, the pieces slowly
falling into place. She said sometimes the order wouldn‘t make sense and the picture would be
unclear but I had to keep faith that eventually the masterpiece of my life would make sense.‖
―A very wise woman she was.‖
―I know.‖ And I did.
―They‘re coming! Just over the ridge!‖ Alice‘s voice called out frantically.
This was it. We didn‘t know what was going to happen; we had no time to formulate a plan. We
were all flying into this blind.
―Come into my parlor,” said the spider to the fly…
The perfect phrase for this situation.
I looked out over the hills and saw the figures coming quickly, cloaked in black like an ominous
cloud coming to fall upon us all. I could only pray that we could weather this storm.
―I love you,‖ I overheard Rosalie whisper to Emmett and he held her tightly, kissing her as if it
would be the last time. I had to look away because it hurt entirely too much to see their fear and
desperation laid bare.
The Denali‘s stood by themselves, not having to fight this battle- if there would even be a battle-
but choosing to do so from an ancient hate and a bond with my father figure.
I looked to Carlisle who was holding Esme close as she looked at all of us, her children. We
represented everything that she wanted and in retrospect, what Carlisle wanted as well. I didn‘t
want to fail them or cause them any pain because of their bond and love for me. They didn‘t have
to stand behind me.
And Alice and Jasper… we had no time to reconnect, to catch up. Alice‘s eyes were shining
brightly and she smiled at me, nodding her head. She knew me so well, even when I was unsure
of things myself. ―I love you,‖ she mouthed silently and I nodded, mouthing it back. She turned
to Jasper and he held a protective arm around her shoulders, the tinge of fear and anticipation in
the air giving away his calm mask.
―Bella,‖ Edward‘s voice was a low whisper and his breath saturated my hair. ―As long as we‘re
together.‖
―As long as we‘re together,‖ I repeated, because it was the truth.
―I love you, Bella, no matter what happens. I always have and I always will. Every breath I ever
took while human, the burn, this immortality – everything has been for you. I know that now.‖
―It‘s going to be ok, Edward. No matter what happens. It‘s the same for me. You know that now.
I can‘t live without you either. I love you too much. Literally,‖ I smiled before pressing my lips
to his.
My Edward. His hands, his body, his smell, his taste, his kiss… the way he made love to me, the
way he trusted me and was a constant in my life. It was always Edward, always for Edward.
I held him close, cherishing the feeling of being intricately tied to someone. I would love him
until the end of time and it would never be enough.
―I love you all, every single one of you. No matter what happens today, I want you all to know
how much each of you, my children, has brought immense joy to my life. I am so very thankful,‖
Carlisle said to us, holding a sobbing Esme to his chest.
―Don‘t talk like it‘s the end, you‘ll jinx us,‖ Emmett said irritably, clutching Rosalie‘s hand.
―Come on, Cullens; get your asses in a line.‖ He was always so brave.
We all laughed lightly at Emmett, grasping our last moments to be happy for God knows how
long as the Volturi came closer, their faces and steps loud and clear.
―They brought almost the entire guard,‖ Eleazar said with disbelief clear in his tone. ―They
didn‘t come to make compromises.‖
Edward‘s hand tightened around mine and he growled. I knew then that nothing good was going
to come from this.
Hope.
Hope shouldn‘t have to be so hard.
~*~~*~~*~
Chapter Fourteen
I Promise You
BPOV
Figures with strange ruby eyes and chalky white skin stood before us in black billowing cloaks. I
knew of a few after conversations had about them, but still, I was unprepared for the intimidating
stature they carried. They had made no friendly pretenses and deemed us unlawful even though
we had done nothing of the sort.
Aro had more or less forced me to touch his hand and was quite irritable when he read nothing
from me. I was terrified that he would touch Edward and see too much but luckily, he went for
Eleazar instead having used the ‗old friend‘ line even though we all knew that he wanted to see
Eleazar‘s mind, knowing that he would be able to answer any questions that Aro had about who
was gifted among us.
―Ah, young Bella. So strong yet untapped. I don‘t think I‘m very comfortable with that.‖
―I can‘t help what I‘m capable of, no matter what that may be, Aro. You can‘t hold it against me
justly.‖
His eyes glinted with steel. ―Anyone seen as a threat to the Volturi empire is of interest to me.
We govern other vampire‘s for a reason, to keep the secret and keep order to our kind. We can‘t
have anarchy with creatures such as ourselves. You‘re a liability, Bella.‖
―She‘s innocent and you know it, Aro! Just like my mother. You just want her because she‘d be
another trinket to add to your collection,‖ Tanya hissed, shaking with anger. I was surprised at
how quickly she came to my defense.
―Tisk tisk. Harboring the villains again, I see. Perhaps you‘d like to join your mother?‖ Aro
surmised, staring daggers at Tanya with his ruby eyes.
―There are no villains to be had,‖ Tanya spat angrily, growling when Irina and Kate tried to hold
her back.
―Aro, we‘ve done nothing wrong,‖ Carlisle said firmly, his non confrontational nature turning to
steel now that his family was being threatened.
Aro smirked. ―You know the laws.‖
―Laws you‘re twisting in your favor. I can see your mind, Aro, or have you forgotten so soon?
You know that we do not wish to overthrow you yet here you stand with your guard, spouting off
farce in order to turn this situation into something it clearly isn‘t. You want our gifts, so what
better way to attain them then by threatening our lives and those of our family and friends?‖
Edward tensed, his eyes glinting with a fiery rage.
―My dear boy, I do not know the future like your sweet little Alice claims. How do I know that
your Bella doesn‘t have the ability to mask ulterior motives? She‘s a loose cannon who can
either stand with me or meet her demise. We do not tolerate insubordinate behavior or the idea of
what we‘ve built being threatened by unnatural vampires such as you lot. There is no twisting to
be had.‖
―Would we be threatened if we offered our legion to you?-A free agent situation? I do not wish
to live in Volterra but would come at a moment‘s notice if need be. I want to live with the rest of
my family here in our native America.‖ I offered, hoping to find some sort of loop hole. I
couldn‘t spend eternity held prisoner and bending to the will of human-feeding, power-hungry
and loathsome vampires. I‘d sacrificed enough in many lifetimes and I would be damned if I had
to sacrifice the happiness that I had been through hell and back to have.
Aro‘s lilting chuckle filled my ears, sarcasm in a tone. ―My dear Bella,‖ he accented my name
making me cringe. ―I can‘t have that. You‘re untraceable to Demetri, our tracker, and I‘m
nowhere near able to ascertain exactly what you‘re capable of. You will either be in Volterra or
be nowhere, my sweet.‖
Sugar coating his blatant disregard for freewill. The man made my skin crawl. ―But you can
track Edward. Where he is, I will be.‖
―Their connection is unlike anything I‘ve ever seen,‖ Marcus added quietly, close to inaudibly.
It was surprising to me that a man with apparent weight in the Volturi would say something that
could possibly be used to our advatange.
―Of course not Marcus. Need I remind you of your traitor wife? Love means nothing in this
situation.‖
He wasn‘t going to budge.
―Give me a moment with my family please? We have things to discuss.‖
―I can offer that. Stay within sight and we will not follow. Don‘t keep us waiting too long.‖
I turned and looked into the faces of my family and friends, all wearing looks ranging from
anger, desperation and resolve. I motioned for them to follow me and we ran, close enough to
stay in sight but far away enough for The Volturi to be unable to hear a lowly spoken
conversation.
―What‘s the game plan, Bella? We‘re outnumbered by seven highly trained vampires. Not to
mention their abilities that would weaken us even more.‖ Emmett was ready to fight, even if the
attempts would be futile at best.
―Alec and Jane are the most dangerous to us. Jane can inflict pain at the drop of a hat and Alec‘s
ability, while similar is far more dangerous. He can desensitize us, rendering us deaf and blind
and unable to feel. We couldn‘t possibly fight without any senses at all,‖ Carlisle said grimly,
shaking his head. It was the first time I had ever seen my beautiful father-figure look so destitute.
―I can evoke hopelessness in them; make them feel like they have no reason to live. I can
concentrate on the twins which would allow us to take them out quicker,‖ Jasper hedged,
offering his abilities.
―I‘m not very good at it but I can shock anyone who touches my exposed skin. It renders them
disoriented for a few seconds,‖ Kate said, unconsciously running her nails up and down her
arms.
―I can see anyone coming at me, therefore I‘m able to avoid. It‘s not the biggest help but I could
distract the big guys.‖ Alice‘s face was scrunched with determination.
―I can‘t fight worth a damn but I‘ll try. No one touches what is mine.‖ Rosalie seethed, looking
pointedly at each of us but lingering on Emmett.
―I know their game plan, abilities first, then fighting. The Volturi fight dirty. The most
advantageous person on our team right now is Edward. You can see a thought a quarter of a
second before the person can act it out. You may not be skilled much as far as fighting goes, but
your gift is offensive and you can plan accordingly,‖ Eleazar said. ―If Bella knew how to tap into
her gift, we could all sit back and watch.‖
―I wish I knew how,‖ I said in frustration, not really knowing what I was saying.
Edward looked at me for a moment, as if he had been thinking about something and was
deciding to put it into action. ―Bella,‖ he said quietly. ―If you don‘t do this, I‘ll die. We‘ll all die.
You‘ll watch me be ripped limb from limb and burned to death.‖
―Edward, don‘t!‖ I whispered, feeling my icy heart rip apart at his words.
―You‘ll watch us all be destroyed right before your very eyes. You‘ll have nothing and they
won‘t think about killing you because they want you, Bella. You‘ll spend eternity alone,
replaying our deaths in your mind.‖
―If you die, I die,‖ I gasped, moving to pull him against me.
Edward clasped my upper arms in his hands and sat me away from him. ―We don‘t know that,
Bella. We‘re both immortals now. It levels the playing field. I can feel it that you won‘t die with
me,‖ he said lowly, his grim demeanor showing me that he truly believed what he was saying.
A sob ripped through me as did hopelessness. Yes, I was still a whole and complete person
without Edward, but he was my spark, the vivid colors and immeasurable happiness and
unyielding love that made the life I led so much more than what it was alone. The beauty of life
itself was meant to be shared; I knew that now more than ever. I didn‘t want to go on for eternity
without him. The pain was too unbearable. It was hard enough as a human, but as an immortal,
my heart would never stop loving him in the all-consuming way that I did when I was changed. I
couldn‘t live with the acute heartbreak for eternity. I would be a shell with no way of healing
because I couldn‘t change something soldered into my very soul.
―My God…‖ Eleazar whispered and Edward gasped.
―I can hear you, love.”
Edward?
―Yes,” he said internally.
How?
―The only thing that I could think of was the last time I heard you. You were overwhelmed and
emotionally weakened. I had to try again. Apparently the thought of losing me awakens
something in you and your defenses go down.”
My whole life, both of my lives, I had the ability to step outside of myself and not truly feel if I
didn‘t want to. When I did let darker emotions weaken me, it was always so hard to recover so I
chose to disconnect from them. Edward had always made me feel. He was the only one with the
power to destroy me emotionally so yes, he was the key if this was what needed to be unlocked.
―So many shielded layers,‖ Eleazar whispered in awe, eyeing me in amazement.
―How do I do this?‖ I asked him.
―I don‘t know, Bella.‖
Are you still with me, Edward?
―Yes.”
―We have to go back,‖ Alice said softly. ―I wish I could just see!‖
―What happens when we go back?‖
―Something bad, but I can feel it in my guts that it needs to happen,‖ she said with conviction.
―They‘ll burn only after you do,‖ Eleazar said cryptically, making me shiver.
―Will she die?‖ Edward asked, finally touching me.
―They won‘t try if they want to live.‖
―I can do this.‖ I had to. We were flying by the seat of our pants and we couldn‘t see anything in
concrete, but if I had learned anything in life or from Elizabeth herself, it was that sometimes
you had to go by feeling. I could feel that we needed to go back.
With final wishes of love and too much tenderness, we headed back to the Italian vampires that I
hated with such acute fury that it was almost too much. Aro was staring at me with a bemused
smirk while Jane was looking at me with a cruel sneer, seemingly ready to pounce at a moment‘s
notice.
―Well, my Bella, have you come to a decision?‖ Aro asked, gesturing towards me with his hands.
―We could always make a place for your psychic and mind reader as well.‖
Here goes nothing…
―Honestly, Aro, I‘d rather eat shit for eternity than to spend it with you. I‘m sure Alice and
Edward agree with me on that. I do not like what you stand for and so what if I‘m a pile of ash
when you‘re finished with me? I‘ll die with my beliefs and as a whole person who never sold
their self out. So my answer is no. That‘s my final answer.‖
―Oh, my sweet, what could I possibly do to convince you otherwise?‖ He asked himself more so
than he was asking me.
I watched him intensely, his strange red eyes never leaving mine as he gestured with his fingers
towards the small, child-like blonde with a demonic glint in her eyes to come forth. ―Jane, show
this strapping young man Edward what you can do?‖
―Gladly, Aro,‖ she said in a voice much too sweet to match the crazed look she wore.
Are you alright, Edward?
―Yes, love, be strong for the both of us.‖
Jane stepped forward and held out her palms, staring intensely at Edward. Within seconds he
cringed inward, grasping his chest, scratching at his arms. Horror filled me as I watched the man
I love writhe on the ground, attacked by some invisible force.
―No!‖ I screamed and then something very strange happened. I could feel the pulsing of Jane‘s
power which turned into a shape, a filament that I could follow. With my feet firmly planted on
the ground, I felt around the edges of her force, redirecting it at myself.
Edward stopped writhing and I felt Jane put more effort behind her attack, but I was unaffected
by the burning and stabbing that her gift could cause. It was pliable, like energy and it bonded
with my existing anger perfectly. It all clicked for me then.
I turned toward the line of disgusting monsters, finally understanding what I could do, the way it
took shape, the way it was so natural, like second-nature. ―You really shouldn‘t have done that,‖
I seethed, feeling the energy coursing from the earth, up through the soles of my feet, pulsing and
hot through my dried out network of veins.
Partum attero. I was a conduit, able to weaken but made just right to bear.
I closed my eyes against the world and gave myself over to other senses, feeling the sickness and
dead feeling well inside me, black and spiky, poisonous and brutal. It left me with a nauseous
feeling in the pit of my stomach, something I hadn‘t felt in years, as I pulled from around me,
noticing the life forces.
I could feel Jasper‘s emotional scars and knew that I could heal them if I wanted to with a touch,
but I could also feel Alice‘s affect and knew that she would heal him in time. I could feel
Carlisle‘s compassion and a familiar tinge of healing, similar to mine but nowhere near as strong.
I could feel Rosalie‘s inner turmoil, knowing that I could take it away but I knew that Emmett
was already well along on that path.
It was amazing to me, being able to feel the sickness in others and knowing that I could relieve
them of it if I wanted to. But there was another side to this coin that left me sickened inside, no
matter how much I needed this darker side at the moment.
I could feel their life forces, each and every one. So easily I could differentiate my family from
the Volturi, the pulsing and electric feeling coming from them. I truly hoped that Edward could
hear my mind still because he could never again doubt that he had a soul. I could feel it so
clearly and he was so good on the inside.
The power in me left me buoyant and finally, I opened my eyes, seeing the auras glowing lightly
from those around me. The darker side of my power was that I could release that light and in
doing so, I would effectively kill those who I chose.
Heal and destroy… I had this.
―Last chance, Aro. Leave me and my family alone, or meet the consequences.‖ My voice didn‘t
even sound like my own, a strange echoing timbre added to it.
Aro‘s eyes were round and I could taste his fear and the sickness inside of him, the selfish side
that enjoyed the weaknesses of others. He was beyond repair in his blackness, along with two
other of his minions.
―Alec!‖ Aro yelled, giving the small boy the sign he needed to proceed with his creeping gift.
I could see it, a slow hazy blanket swirling and smoldering towards us. It wasn‘t as quick as
Jane‘s but more like a trickling air that would soon envelope myself and those standing behind
me. I could feel its lethargic anesthesia-like quality, knowing it would render those unaware of
the world around them on all levels. I directed it easily, drawing it towards myself and knowing
that I could neutralize it.
The Volturi, Aro especially, watched in horror as their defenses were thwarted. I was made of
power and I was thoroughly pissed off by this point. I‘d given Aro a chance and he chose to not
heed my warning, a warning that I so compassionately gave.
―You chose wrong this time,‖ I said, mimicking the words that a woman once told me years ago,
twisting them to my own needs.
I was not a killer by nature, and thankfully I had the ability to tell who was too black on the
inside to be spared. Where Edward could see thoughts and know what a person was thinking, I
could feel the truest core of people, knowing if they were salvageable or not.
Three who stood before me were unsalvageable.
With my eyes staring down those condemned before me, the energy I was yielding began
trickling forward, autonomic and unforgiving. It was scary knowing that I held the power to take
the very life force of others so easily and it was not something that I took lightly. I felt the
creeping tendrils of guilt around the edges as I let out the energy in me, similar to what I
experienced with the rose in the train, but much greater this time. The earth around me was quiet,
not even the rustling of leaves or the faint sounds of wind. I was pouring from me something
akin to death itself, black and dark, saturated in loss and destitution. I‘d never experienced
anything like it.
I felt the energy begin to ascend at the ankles of those deemed unworthy by their spiteful and
nefarious spirits. Aro, Jane, and Alec began screeching and hissing, falling to the ground as the
smoke began billowing from their mouths. I closed my eyes and released my pain at the act I was
engaging in, even with the knowledge that it was right.
I had once judged Edward for having a God-complex, but it was nothing compared to this, seeing
and destroying evil in its truest form. It was not truly me who was judging those writhing before
me, but something else. I would not discern these things for myself but go by feeling, however
elusive it may be. I was a conduit for this gift, something much greater than myself working
through me. Whether it be God or fate, I was not the one who would choose those to destroy or
heal. Maybe that‘s why I was chosen for this particular power because the Fates knew that I
would never use it for personal or selfish gain.
Their deaths would not come as an avenger for me or the Cullens alone, but for many others
accumulated over countless years that had fell victim to biased wrath. It was as if karma itself
was using me to purge the world of sickness to recreate the balance of power between the good
and evil in this world. I was in awe over the beautiful yet terrible power that‘s source was from
something much bigger than me.
Aro, Jane, and Alec were choking and retching, their skin glowing in a strange way as the halo of
darkness around them began to wane. I fought to not close my eyes as cinders began forming on
their granite skin and the sickeningly sweet smell of burning vampire flesh reached my nose.
Within seconds, the three forms were engulfed in flames, burning and sinking, turning to ash
before my very eyes.
I felt the last vestiges of the energy leave me, releasing the last bit of light in the formless piles of
ash left out on the Alaskan landscape to scatter among the winds. I fell to my knees, knowing it
was over, that I had been used to save my family. But why were the Cullens spared?
Maybe it was Esme‘s unyielding heart. Maybe it was Carlisle‘s compassion and his tireless work
to help those in need. Maybe it was Edward‘s goodness that radiated to those around him. Maybe
it was Alice‘s fire and the way she made a person‘s life a little brighter with just a few words.
Maybe it was Jasper and the way he could give other‘s the hope they needed to persevere. Maybe
it was Rosalie and her tenacious nature, holding on to what she believed in a world where hardly
anyone held on anymore. Maybe it was Emmett and his infectious laugh that brought smiles,
most of the time much needed, to those around him.
I would never know. Maybe it was better that way, not knowing. I could drive myself crazy with
it but I had been taught well when it came to Fate. Never ask why and deal with the hand your
dealt because no matter what happens, you‘ll know in the end that it was right.
―Marcus,‖ I said lowly, standing to my full height. ―You have no reason, no loyalty to Aro to not
reshape the Volturi. I understand the need for order and you do as well but you saw true evils
whereas Aro only saw what he could gain. You have it within you to be a new and bold leader.
Use your new power well. And the rest of you,‖ I looked each of them in the eye, ―redeem
yourselves. Hold onto the good. While your choices in diet leave little to be desired, I understand
the vampyric nature because I am one myself. Lead your existence not with spite and selfishness,
but with what good you can uncover. Use your conscience and know that it‘s there for a reason.
Living with arrogance is no way to live because there is always something greater than ourselves
at work.‖
With finality, I turned away from them, leaving them to go back to Volterra where hopefully
through the deaths that had taken place here tonight, they would heal the wickedness in their
government. I had faith.
―Damn, Bella, your freaking eyes were glowing white! It was pretty badass,‖ Emmett exclaimed,
garnering a chuckle from me.
―It was really weird. I could feel everyone‘s life force and things that could be healed. It was like
the layers of a person were laid bare and I had the power to either take away or fix it all. But it
wasn‘t really me, it was like a higher power working through me. I can‘t explain it any better
than that.‖
―You‘re worthy,‖ Carlisle smiled, pride adorning his golden eyes. ―You‘re one of the most
unselfish people I‘ve ever met.‖
―Thank you, Carlisle.‖
―See, Bella? I was right,‖ Alice smiled, holding Jasper‘s arm tightly.
―I won‘t be betting against you anytime soon, Ali. Now let‘s go be happy.‖ God, did I mean that.
I felt Edward‘s lips brush against my head and I gathered him in my arms, letting myself revel in
the feel of his body against mine. I was content with the fact that my family was now complete
and there was nothing standing in the way of our happiness. Mine and Edward‘s love had
survived time, loopholes, Fate itself, immeasurable tragedies and loss, but we were still here. We
could love unencumbered by wickedness and detours the way that we were meant to do. Just
Edward and I.
Finally.
―I love you, Bella.‖
―I love you too, Edward,‖ I whispered back, pulling him down for a kiss. ―I love you more than
anything.‖
Today, tomorrow, forever.
Always.
~*~~*~~*~
Epilogue
BPOV
July 1969 – Lunar Landing
―I told you America would land on the moon!” I yelled at Edward internally, utilizing the open
communication that we now shared frequently.
His mind was silent, in awe, as he saw the images on our television of Buzz Aldrin and Neil
Armstrong floating on the moon. It cracked me up because it reminded me of another event that
would change America.
―Just you wait until August 1st, 1981 and MTV launches. You’ll really be glued to the television
then.” I added smugly.
―What’s MTV?”
―Music Television. An entire channel devoted to music videos.”
Emmett ran in, his frayed jeans and t-shirt hugging his body with worn moccasins on his feet. He
had really embraced the whole dirty hippie thing. ―Guys! We have to go on a road trip! They‘re
having a free music festival in Bethel, New York at some dairy farm. Rumor has it that a bunch
of big acts are going to be there! Seriously, let‘s go, please! Alice already checked and said it
was going to be rainy most of the time. We can hide out in my van when the sun‘s out.‖
―Oh dear God,” I groaned internally.
―What?” Edward asked.
―Woodstock! It’s supposed to be this small little music festival but half a million people are
going to show up and celebrate life, free love, and music. It’s a pivotal moment in American
history. We should go.”
―Sure,‖ Edward said out loud after a moment, more so out of curious to see if I was right than an
actual desire to attend the festivities.
―Man, it‘s going to be so fun,‖ Emmett said excitedly, clipping his Native American beaded
headband around his forehead.
August 15th, 1969 – Woodstock
My peasant dress billowed around me and Rose and I were swaying to the music as everyone,
humans and vampires alike celebrated music and life. Rose and Alice went all out, painting
flowers on the cheeks of us girls and beading headbands and bracelets for all of us.
―Why am I here?‖ Edward asked for the millionth time.
―Because you want to be here,‖ I sighed, taking in his prim appearance. Edward refused to wear
any of the natural cotton or worn denim that Alice had suggested. Instead, Edward looked like an
Ivy League, future-corporate-of-America youth among the vagabonds and naturalists around us.
―Hey man, you want to buy some grass?‖ A man wearing something akin to burlap came up to
Edward with a rolled joint in hand.
―Why would I want to buy grass? If I wanted grass I would bend down and pick some.‖
Emmett and I burst out laughing as the young man looked at Edward in confusion. ―Guess not.
Love and light, man,‖ he said before walking away.
―That was odd,‖ Edward said. ―His mind was too hazy for me to get any kind of real read off of
him.‖
―He was offering you marijuana you dip shit,‖ Emmett roared, laughing his ass off.
Edward looked shocked before his face went stony while Sweetwater played ―What‘s Wrong‖ in
the background. He rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “Damn hippies.”
Now I know why Edward doesn‘t like music from this era. It‘s not so much the music, but the
memories that it triggers.
August 1st, 1981
―This is going to be so fucking awesome,‖ Emmett quipped excitedly, his nose practically
pressed against the TV screen.
All the Cullens were present for this pivotal moment, Rose bored to death, Jasper laughing at
Emmett, Alice smiling knowingly because she already knew the first video to be played, and
Edward watching with a bemused smirk.
―T-minus 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4… we’ve gone from main engine start. We have main engine start!
Ladies and gentlemen… Rock and Roll…”
―Here we go!‖ Emmett yelled, pirouetting around the living room as ‗Video killed the radio Star‘
by the Buggles came across the screen.
―Ooh-a-oh I met your children oh-a-oh, what did you tell them? Video killed the radio star!
Video killed the radio star… Pictures came and broke your heart…”Emmett crooned off tune.
―Why on earth does that woman have streamers in her hair?‖ Edward asked, looking at the
screen with a befuddled expression.
―Who cares, Eddie? Just feel the music! Oh-a-oh!” Emmett continued to sing.
―It all gets better from here, Edward,‖ I whispered quietly. ―You haven‘t seen anything yet. Just
you wait for Grunge.‖
September 14th, 1994
―Well I object to their strike!‖ Edward bellowed, throwing a book across the room, cracking the
plaster of one of the walls in the home we shared alone in Emmett, Idaho of all places. ―You
could have warned me about this, Bella!‖
―Like I would‘ve remembered! I never followed baseball like you do.‖
―This is bullshit!‖
―Well, you just take your check book and go make it all better. I don‘t know what to tell you,
Edward. So the World Series was cancelled. Let‘s accept what we cannot change and hope for
better luck next year.‖
―So stupid,‖ he mumbled. ―Let‘s go to Connecticut and gather up the gang for a game. I‘ll be
damned if I let baseball season go by without something.‖
―Edward, sweetie, why don‘t you go watch the pee wee baseball games going on this
afternoon?‖ It seemed more logical than flying across the country on such short notice just so he
could play baseball with the family.
―You‘re not helping,‖ he growled irritably.
―Shut up, Edward. It’s just a game,” I put emphasis on the words he used against me whenever I
lost at something.
―Baseball is a religious experience!‖
―Baseball is a bunch of men in hot pants hitting balls with big sticks! You‘ll survive, Edward.‖
―Blasphemy,” he whispered before stomping up the stairs.
He could be quite ridiculous sometimes.
October 4th, 1999 – Columbus, Ohio
―I love them! Brian is my fave,‖ Alice squealed, clapping her hands and whooping it up for the
boy band that she insisted we go see in concert.
―AJ is delicious but he‘s no Emmett,‖ Rose added.
―I don‘t know, I like the little Latin one, what‘s his name?‖ Esme asked. We Cullen women had
to drag her out with us even though she insisted she was too old for such shenanigans.
―Howie,‖ Rose, Alice, and I said in unison.
―Who would you do, Bella?‖ Rose asked curiously, never one to beat around the bush.
―Nick,‖ I said reverently, looking at the tall, slightly pudgy blonde that always made me happy
when he hit the high notes and shook his rear end while executing the elaborate choreography.
―You‘ve always had a thing for pretty boys, haven‘t you Bella?‖
―Shut up, Alice!‖ I yelled over the screaming girls around us. Vampire hearing was quite suckish
when it came to the battle cry of thousands of teenage girls mooning over the five gentlemen on
the stage before us. ―We all know you like Brian because he‘s from Kentucky and reminds you a
little bit of Jasper. That whole southern gentleman thing really gets you going doesn‘t it?‖
―So what!? I have a type!‖
I laughed and let it be, thankful that I was spending time with my three favorite women, even
though it just so happened to be at a Backstreet Boys concert. The Cullens were in the same city
again, together, like we preferred it.
August 26th, 2006 – Forks, Washington
We were home again. I don‘t know what it is about Forks but it just seems to hold magic for us
with its lumber mills and sleepy exterior. The rain was always welcome and our home was as
beautiful as I remembered it. Alice, Edward, and I had recently graduated high school for the
11th time in seventy years and I was ready to embark on a completely different kind of journey,
a journey eighty-odd years in the making.
―Are you ready, Bella?‖ Alice asked, smiling.
―Of course I am, Alice. I don‘t know why we‘ve never done this before.‖
―I‘m just glad it is happening.‖
―I know, Ali. Thank you for this.‖
―It was all my pleasure.‖
I walked out of my room and smiled, thankful that I didn‘t have the ability to cry tears as Carlisle
stood in front of me, beaming.
―So beautiful,‖ he whispered, kissing my temple.
―Thank you, Carlisle, for everything. I don‘t know where we‘d be without you.‖ I truly meant
that.
―The pleasure has been all mine, Isabella.‖ He smiled and took my arm in his, leading me down
the grand winding staircase adorned with calla lilies and red roses. Classic-just like Edward and
I.
This day, in 2006, almost eighty-nine years after we met for the first time, I was finally going to
be Mrs. Edward Masen-Cullen. Alice had worked laboriously to ensure that our wedding would
be true to 1919 which was when our original plans had been set while my parents were still in
the picture.
I hadn‘t thought of them in so long. Charles and Renee Swan. What did they do with their lives
after my ‗death‘? Did they have any more children? Did they heal from the loss of me? I could
only hope that they found happiness in the same way that I had found my own.
Edward. God, how I loved the man standing down the aisle, smiling at me with a triumphant and
completely breathtaking radiance coming off of him. Suited in black Armani custom ordered for
a classic Rhett Butler feel to match my Scarlett O‘Hara-esque dress, he‘d never looked more
beautiful to me. Maybe it was because he was finally staking his final claim to me, giving me his
last name and the promise of a forever with him at my side. We‘d already made such promises,
but there was something exciting about having it legalized and going through the ritual of a
wedding to confirm what we already knew.
I am his. He is mine. Always has been and always will be.
I stood before him now in my white silk dress and veil, with trembling hands that were my only
conveyor of the brutal emotions coursing through me. “I love you,” I whispered to him through
my mind. “Before this all starts, I want to show you something.”
―Alright, love.” I closed my eyes, knowing this would only take a few seconds and go unnoticed
by the few humans in attendance. With a beautiful ache in my heart, I began to replay all that I
remembered clearly, whereas Edward did not.
His hands reverently playing Beethoven at the piano at his parents‘ house. Our conversation
about World War I and why he shouldn‘t go. The first night out on the balcony. Our first kiss on
New Year‘s Eve. When Edward snuck into my room through the window and how we so closely
came to the brink of no turning back. The day I told him of my family‘s move back to New York
and how he had nearly cried at the thought of us being apart. The day he wrote me my lullaby
and played it for me. And finally, the afternoon that I stood on my family‘s doorstep with
Edward, him giving me the diamond heart as a way to ask for my hand in marriage. A marriage
that we were finally going to make happen today.
―I love you so much, Bella Swan. I’ve waited for this day for a long time. There’s no turning
back now.”
―I would never turn away from this. I’ll love you until the end of time. Always.”
Before our family and friends, Edward and I said words that joined our hearts in a sacred vow. I
wore Elizabeth‘s ring and he wore his father‘s simple gold band, both knowing that we survived
so much heart ache and triumphed over obstacles and evils in our way that had hindered us from
getting to this point. But no more…
We did it in the end. We made it to this point. Together, like we always knew we would.
For the first time in so long, I didn‘t know what the future held. I didn‘t know what events would
come and what lurked around the corner. I was living blind now, a believer in fate and a believer
in the ironclad love that I shared with this man who would soon be pronounced my husband.
No matter where he may go, I will follow and know that it is right.
―You may kiss the bride,‖ Revered Weber announced.
Edward pulled me in with an exultant smile and gingerly pressed his lips against mine. His kiss
was worshipful, reverent, laced with the promise that it would only get better from here. And I
trusted that beyond measure.
―May I present to you, ladies and gentleman, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Masen-Cullen!‖ Emmett
hacked out, having grabbed the microphone from the stand in front of Reverend Weber.
Edward and I shared a laugh, turning to walk down the aisle as Rosalie played the piano for us,
wearing a look of pride for Edward and I. So many congratulations were made and well-wishes
were given by those who were celebrating our union. I had never seen Edward so proud to have
me on his arm than that of the day that I finally took his last name.
―Well, Mrs. Masen-Cullen, how does it feel to be tied to the proverbial ball and chain?‖
I laughed at Edward as we danced slowly around the veranda out back that Alice had decorated
with fabric and lights and flowers, Forks‘ wilderness the perfect backdrop to the evening.
―Perfect,‖ I whispered before kissing him again and then again after that.
―It just feels like it was always meant to be… this. What do you think?‖
A flash in the corner of my peripheral vision caught my attention and in turn caught Edward‘s as
well. We laughed as a hummingbird, oddly enough with feathers of the same colors as all those
previously witnessed by me, suspended itself right next to us.
―I think I chose right this time.‖
―I did as well.‖
―I love you, Edward.‖
―I love you too, Bella,‖ he whispered with a kiss.
Through hell and back, through fire and ash, through tragedies and pain… I would do it all again
for this.
Happiness… Finally.
~*~~*~~*~
~ THE END ~
Bound To A Secret 2 Outtakes
Outtake #1
Chapter 14: I Promise You (Take 2)
BPOV
Figures with strange ruby eyes and chalky white skin stood before us in black billowing cloaks. I
knew of a few after conversations had about them, but still, I was unprepared for the intimidating
stature they carried. They had made no friendly pretenses and deemed us unlawful even though
we had done nothing of the sort.
Aro had more or less forced me to touch his hand and was quite irritable when he read nothing
from me. I was terrified that he would touch Edward and see too much but luckily, he went for
Eleazar instead having used the ‗old friend‘ line even though we all knew that he wanted to see
Eleazar‘s mind, knowing that he would be able to answer any questions that Aro had about who
was gifted among us.
―Ah, young Bella. So strong yet untapped. I don‘t think I‘m very comfortable with that.‖
―I can‘t help what I‘m capable of, no matter what that may be, Aro. You can‘t hold it against me
justly.‖
His eyes glinted with steel. ―Anyone seen as a threat to the Volturi empire is of interest to me.
We govern other vampire‘s for a reason, to keep the secret and keep order to our kind. We can‘t
have anarchy with creatures such as ourselves. You‘re a liability, Bella.‖
―She‘s innocent and you know it, Aro! Just like my mother. You just want her because she‘d be
another trinket to add to your collection,‖ Tanya hissed, shaking with anger. I was surprised at
how quickly she came to my defense.
―Tisk tisk. Harboring the villains again, I see. Perhaps you‘d like to join your mother?‖ Aro
surmised, staring daggers at Tanya with his ruby eyes.
―There are no villains to be had,‖ Tanya spat angrily, growling when Irina and Kate tried to hold
her back.
―Aro, we‘ve done nothing wrong,‖ Carlisle said firmly, his non confrontational nature turning to
steel now that his family was being threatened.
Aro smirked. ―You know the laws.‖
―Laws you‘re twisting in your favor. I can see your mind, Aro, or have you forgotten so soon?
You know that we do not wish to overthrow you yet here you stand with your guard, spouting off
farce in order to turn this situation into something it clearly isn‘t. You want our gifts, so what
better way to attain them then by threatening our lives and those of our family and friends?‖
Edward tensed, his eyes glinting with a fiery rage.
―My dear boy, I do not know the future like your sweet little Alice claims. How do I know that
your Bella doesn‘t have the ability to mask ulterior motives? She‘s a loose cannon who can
either stand with me or meet her demise. We do not tolerate insubordinate behavior or the idea of
what we‘ve built being threatened by unnatural vampires such as you lot. There is no twisting to
be had.‖
―Would we be threatened if we offered our legion to you?-A free agent situation? I do not wish
to live in Volterra but would come at a moment‘s notice if need be. I want to live with the rest of
my family here in our native America.‖ I offered, hoping to find some sort of loop hole. I
couldn‘t spend eternity held prisoner and bending to the will of human-feeding, power-hungry
and loathsome vampires. I‘d sacrificed enough in many lifetimes and I would be damned if I had
to sacrifice the happiness that I had been through hell and back to have.
Aro‘s lilting chuckle filled my ears, sarcasm in a tone. ―My dear Bella,‖ he accented my name
making me cringe. ―I can‘t have that. You‘re untraceable to Demetri, our tracker, and I‘m
nowhere near able to ascertain exactly what you‘re capable of. You will either be in Volterra or
be nowhere, my sweet.‖
Sugar coating his blatant disregard for freewill. The man made my skin crawl. ―But you can
track Edward. Where he is, I will be.‖
―Their connection is unlike anything I‘ve ever seen,‖ Marcus added quietly, close to inaudibly.
It was surprising to me that a man with apparent weight in the Volturi would say something that
could possibly be used to our advatange.
―Of course not Marcus. Need I remind you of your traitor wife? Love means nothing in this
situation.‖
He wasn‘t going to budge.
―Give me a moment with my family please? We have things to discuss.‖
―I can offer that. Stay within sight and we will not follow. Don‘t keep us waiting too long.‖
I turned and looked into the faces of my family and friends, all wearing looks ranging from
anger, desperation and resolve. I motioned for them to follow me and we ran, close enough to
stay in sight but far away enough for The Volturi to be unable to hear a lowly spoken
conversation.
―What‘s the game plan, Bella? We‘re outnumbered by seven highly trained vampires. Not to
mention their abilities that would weaken us even more.‖ Emmett was ready to fight, even if the
attempts would be futile at best.
―Alec and Jane are the most dangerous to us. Jane can inflict pain at the drop of a hat and Alec‘s
ability, while similar is far more dangerous. He can desensitize us, rendering us deaf and blind
and unable to feel. We couldn‘t possibly fight without any senses at all,‖ Carlisle said grimly,
shaking his head. It was the first time I had ever seen my beautiful father-figure look so destitute.
―I can evoke hopelessness in them; make them feel like they have no reason to live. I can
concentrate on the twins which would allow us to take them out quicker,‖ Jasper hedged,
offering his abilities.
―I‘m not very good at it but I can shock anyone who touches my exposed skin. It renders them
disoriented for a few seconds,‖ Kate said, unconsciously running her nails up and down her
arms.
―I can see anyone coming at me, therefore I‘m able to avoid. It‘s not the biggest help but I could
distract the big guys.‖ Alice‘s face was scrunched with determination.
―I can‘t fight worth a damn but I‘ll try. No one touches what is mine.‖ Rosalie seethed, looking
pointedly at each of us but lingering on Emmett.
―I know their game plan, abilities first, then fighting. The Volturi fight dirty. The most
advantageous person on our team right now is Edward. You can see a thought a quarter of a
second before the person can act it out. You may not be skilled much as far as fighting goes, but
your gift is offensive and you can plan accordingly,‖ Eleazar said. ―If Bella knew how to tap into
her gift, we could all sit back and watch.‖
―I wish I knew how,‖ I said in frustration, not really knowing what I was saying.
Edward looked at me for a moment, as if he had been thinking about something and was
deciding to put it into action. ―Bella,‖ he said quietly. ―If you don‘t do this, I‘ll die. We‘ll all die.
You‘ll watch me be ripped limb from limb and burned to death.‖
―Edward, don‘t!‖ I whispered, feeling my icy heart rip apart at his words.
―You‘ll watch us all be destroyed right before your very eyes. You‘ll have nothing and they
won‘t think about killing you because they want you, Bella. You‘ll spend eternity alone,
replaying our deaths in your mind.‖
―If you die, I die,‖ I gasped, moving to pull him against me.
Edward clasped my upper arms in his hands and sat me away from him. ―We don‘t know that,
Bella. We‘re both immortals now. It levels the playing field. I can feel it that you won‘t die with
me,‖ he said lowly, his grim demeanor showing me that he truly believed what he was saying.
A sob ripped through me as did hopelessness. Yes, I was still a whole and complete person
without Edward, but he was my spark, the vivid colors and immeasurable happiness and
unyielding love that made the life I led so much more than what it was alone. The beauty of life
itself was meant to be shared; I knew that now more than ever. I didn‘t want to go on for eternity
without him. The pain was too unbearable. It was hard enough as a human, but as an immortal,
my heart would never stop loving him in the all-consuming way that I did when I was changed. I
couldn‘t live with the acute heartbreak for eternity. I would be a shell with no way of healing
because I couldn‘t change something soldered into my very soul.
―My God…‖ Eleazar whispered and Edward gasped.
―I can hear you, love.”
Edward?
―Yes,” he said internally.
How?
―The only thing that I could think of was the last time I heard you. You were overwhelmed and
emotionally weakened. I had to try again. Apparently the thought of losing me awakens
something in you and your defenses go down.”
My whole life, both of my lives, I had the ability to step outside of myself and not truly feel if I
didn‘t want to. When I did let darker emotions weaken me, it was always so hard to recover so I
chose to disconnect from them. Edward had always made me feel. He was the only one with the
power to destroy me emotionally so yes, he was the key if this was what needed to be unlocked.
―So many shielded layers,‖ Eleazar whispered in awe, eyeing me in amazement.
―How do I do this?‖ I asked him.
―I don‘t know, Bella.‖
Are you still with me, Edward?
―Yes.”
―We have to go back,‖ Alice said softly. ―I wish I could just see!‖
―What happens when we go back?‖
―Something bad, but I can feel it in my guts that it needs to happen,‖ she said with conviction.
―They‘ll burn only after you do,‖ Eleazar said cryptically, making me shiver.
―Will she die?‖ Edward asked, finally touching me.
―They won‘t try if they want to live.‖
―I can do this.‖ I had to. We were flying by the seat of our pants and we couldn‘t see anything in
concrete, but if I had learned anything in life or from Elizabeth herself, it was that sometimes
you had to go by feeling. I could feel that we needed to go back.
With final wishes of love and too much tenderness, we headed back to the Italian vampires that I
hated with such acute fury that it was almost too much. Aro was staring at me with a bemused
smirk while Jane was looking at me with a cruel sneer, seemingly ready to pounce at a moment‘s
notice.
―Well, my Bella, have you come to a decision?‖ Aro asked, gesturing towards me with his hands.
―We could always make a place for your psychic and mind reader as well.‖
Here goes nothing…
―Honestly, Aro, I‘d rather eat shit for eternity than to spend it with you. I‘m sure Alice and
Edward agree with me on that. I do not like what you stand for and so what if I‘m a pile of ash
when you‘re finished with me? I‘ll die with my beliefs and as a whole person who never sold
their self out. So my answer is no. That‘s my final answer.‖
―Oh, my sweet, what could I possibly do to convince you otherwise?‖ He asked himself more so
than he was asking me.
I watched him intensely, his strange red eyes never leaving mine as he gestured with his fingers
towards the small, child-like blonde with a demonic glint in her eyes to come forth. ―Jane, show
this strapping young man Edward what you can do?‖
―Gladly, Aro,‖ she said in a voice much too sweet to match the crazed look she wore.
Are you alright, Edward?
―Yes, love, be strong for the both of us.‖
Jane stepped forward and held out her palms, staring intensely at Edward. Within seconds he
cringed inward, grasping his chest, scratching at his arms. Horror filled me as I watched the man
I love writhe on the ground, attacked by some invisible force.
―No!‖ I screamed and then something very strange happened. I could feel the pulsing of Jane‘s
power which turned into a shape, a filament that I could follow. With my feet firmly planted on
the ground, I felt around the edges of her force, redirecting it at myself.
Edward stopped writhing and I felt Jane put more effort behind her attack, but I was unaffected
by the burning and stabbing that her gift could cause. It was pliable, like energy and it bonded
with my existing anger perfectly. It all clicked for me then.
I turned toward the line of disgusting monsters, finally understanding what I could do, the way it
took shape, the way it was so natural, like second-nature. ―You really shouldn‘t have done that,‖
I seethed, feeling the energy coursing from the earth, up through the soles of my feet, pulsing and
hot through my dried out network of veins.
Partum attero. I was a conduit, able to weaken but made just right to bear.
I closed my eyes against the world and gave myself over to other senses, feeling the sickness and
dead feeling well inside me, black and spiky, poisonous and brutal. It left me with a nauseous
feeling in the pit of my stomach, something I hadn‘t felt in years, as I pulled from around me,
noticing the life forces.
I could feel Jasper‘s emotional scars and knew that I could heal them if I wanted to with a touch,
but I could also feel Alice‘s affect and knew that she would heal him in time. I could feel
Carlisle‘s compassion and a familiar tinge of healing, similar to mine but nowhere near as strong.
I could feel Rosalie‘s inner turmoil, knowing that I could take it away but I knew that Emmett
was already well along on that path.
It was amazing to me, being able to feel the sickness in others and knowing that I could relieve
them of it if I wanted to. But there was another side to this coin that left me sickened inside, no
matter how much I needed this darker side at the moment.
I could feel their life forces, each and every one. So easily I could differentiate my family from
the Volturi, the pulsing and electric feeling coming from them. I truly hoped that Edward could
hear my mind still because he could never again doubt that he had a soul. I could feel it so
clearly and he was so good on the inside.
The power in me left me buoyant and finally, I opened my eyes, seeing the auras glowing lightly
from those around me. The darker side of my power was that I could release that light and in
doing so, I would effectively kill those who I chose.
Heal and destroy… I had this.
―Last chance, Aro. Leave me and my family alone, or meet the consequences.‖ My voice didn‘t
even sound like my own, a strange echoing timbre added to it.
Aro‘s eyes were round and I could taste his fear and the sickness inside of him, the selfish side
that enjoyed the weaknesses of others. He was beyond repair in his blackness, along with two
other of his minions.
―Alec!‖ Aro yelled, giving the small boy the sign he needed to proceed with his creeping gift.
I could see it, a slow hazy blanket swirling and smoldering towards us. It wasn‘t as quick as
Jane‘s but more like a trickling air that would soon envelope myself and those standing behind
me. I could feel its lethargic anesthesia-like quality, knowing it would render those unaware of
the world around them on all levels. I directed it easily, drawing it towards myself and knowing
that I could neutralize it.
The Volturi, Aro especially, watched in horror as their defenses were thwarted. I was made of
power and I was thoroughly pissed off by this point. I‘d given Aro a chance and he chose to not
heed my warning, a warning that I so compassionately gave.
―You chose wrong this time,‖ I said, mimicking the words that a woman once told me years ago,
twisting them to my own needs.
I was not a killer by nature, and thankfully I had the ability to tell who was too black on the
inside to be spared. Where Edward could see thoughts and know what a person was thinking, I
could feel the truest core of people, knowing if they were salvageable or not.
Three who stood before me were unsalvageable.
With my eyes staring down those condemned before me, the energy I was yielding began
trickling forward, autonomic and unforgiving. It was scary knowing that I held the power to take
the very life force of others so easily and it was not something that I took lightly. I felt the
creeping tendrils of guilt around the edges as I let out the energy in me, similar to what I
experienced with the rose in the train, but much greater this time. The earth around me was quiet,
not even the rustling of leaves or the faint sounds of wind. I was pouring from me something
akin to death itself, black and dark, saturated in loss and destitution. I‘d never experienced
anything like it.
I felt the energy begin to ascend at the ankles of those deemed unworthy by their spiteful and
nefarious spirits. Aro, Jane, and Alec began screeching and hissing, falling to the ground as the
smoke began billowing from their mouths. I closed my eyes and released my pain at the act I was
engaging in, even with the knowledge that it was right.
I had once judged Edward for having a God-complex, but it was nothing compared to this, seeing
and destroying evil in its truest form. It was not truly me who was judging those writhing before
me, but something else. I would not discern these things for myself but go by feeling, however
elusive it may be. I was a conduit for this gift, something much greater than myself working
through me. Whether it be God or fate, I was not the one who would choose those to destroy or
heal. Maybe that‘s why I was chosen for this particular power because the Fates knew that I
would never use it for personal or selfish gain.
Their deaths would not come as an avenger for me or the Cullens alone, but for many others
accumulated over countless years that had fell victim to biased wrath. It was as if karma itself
was using me to purge the world of sickness to recreate the balance of power between the good
and evil in this world. I was in awe over the beautiful yet terrible power that‘s source was from
something much bigger than me.
Aro, Jane, and Alec were choking and retching, their skin glowing in a strange way as the halo of
darkness around them began to wane. I fought to not close my eyes as cinders began forming on
their granite skin and the sickeningly sweet smell of burning vampire flesh reached my nose.
Within seconds, the three forms were engulfed in flames, burning and sinking, turning to ash
before my very eyes.
―Bella!‖ I heard the faintest echo of Edward‘s voice in my mind, almost like an arrant thought. I
turned away from the destruction in front of me and moved my gaze across those of my family,
not understanding why they began falling to their knees.
Lightning cracked white hot across the sky, quickly followed by a feral roar of thunder. The dead
feeling inside of me amplified and arched, spreading uncontrollably and I was powerless against
it as it began creeping out towards those whose eyes I had met. Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme,
Jasper… Edward.
I knew what was happening, that I had made a huge mistake. The biggest error I would ever
make in this life.
NO! I screamed internally as my body was overcome by unbound energy. Heat like I had never
experienced before licked at my skin and a strange haze fell over my eyes, like staring into the
brightest spot of the fiery sun. I was glowing, a nova, the power too much for me.
It was my eyes that carried out these deathly deeds. All I could see was white as I slipped away,
free of any physical feelings, no longer attached to the mortal earth by the vessel of my body.
Standing in the age-worn courtyard of the Masen’s estate, I looked upon my human body,
imperfect but beautiful in its fragility. I was an entity of sorts, watching the blood seep from a
chest wound caused by clumsiness and garden shears. Edward lay next to me, his immortal body
weakened because I was dying.
It was like watching a movie of our deaths, taking in the events of what had happened in a future
seemingly impossible to have lived.
―Bella?” I felt Edward’s voice rather than heard it.
―You’re with me?” I was so confused. Was this a memory or really happening?
―I told you I would follow you anywhere, love. Even in death.”
―Are we dead?” I couldn’t remember dying.
―I don’t know. When you looked at us, your eyes had a strange golden blaze to them, like the sun
and then the next thing I know my body started to burn similar to what venom feels like. Then I
came here…”
―Where is everyone else?” I began to panic.
―I don’t know, Bella. Why did we come here?”
―Where?”
―We’re dying.” His words pulled my attention back to our bodies, or future bodies… whatever
they were. I was so bewildered and I ached for Edward’s arms to comfort me but I could only
feel his presence because we lacked the instruments for physical contact.
―Why this memory?”
―Maybe because it was the only thing I remembered. I heard my mother say something before I
died but I couldn’t make it out. A message perhaps?”
I contemplated his words, trying to make sense of the fact that he and I were watching something
that happened in the future, a future that I had changed somehow. It was my mortal body that
took my last breath, whispering words of love to Edward before he followed suit, his own body
weak and unable to survive without my life force tied to this world.
I felt the need to cry, seeing what had happened lain out so clearly before me, but I couldn’t. I
could only feel the pain and hope that this wasn’t some kind of purgatory brought on by my
power that I had failed to control.
Out of nowhere a strange pulling sensation began and I could no longer feel Edward’s energy
next to me. I was panicked and lost, trying to find the safety and anchor of him as I was weighted
down, held captive by something I couldn’t see. Slowly, so slowly, things began to fade to
black…
~*~~*~~*~
I blinked slowly, letting my eyes adjust to the sun burning bright in the mid afternoon sky.
Where was I? I lifted my hands to my face, feeling my skin and taking inventory, confused
beyond belief that I was once again inside of my body. What the hell? Where was I? Where was
everyone? Where was Edward?
Edward.
―Edward!‖ I yelled out, bolting into a sitting position.
―What?‖
Relief crashed over me as I looked down beside me to see Edward laying supine against the
cobblestone, his eyes closed. Cobblestone? But – weren‘t we in Alaska? Where-
―Edward, where is everyone?‖
―Who?‖ He asked his brow furrowing.
―The Cullens!‖
Edward opened his eyes and my heart fell into my stomach. They were green. ―I don‘t know any
Cullens.‖
I stood up quickly and looked around, realizing that we were in the courtyard of his parent‘s
home. This isn‘t possible! ―Edward, what‘s the date?‖
―March 23rd.‖
―What year?‖
―What the hell is wrong with you, Bella? It‘s 2005. You‘d think you‘d know the date with how
often you write in that journal of yours… which you should let me read, by the way.‖
―No,‖ I said automatically, like an involuntary reaction.
―Come on you two! Lunch is ready!‖
No. Fucking. Way.
Elizabeth?
―Come on, Bella, let‘s go eat. Maybe your blood sugar is low and that‘s why you‘re all kinds of
delusional today.‖
―Are we together?‖
―Seriously? You‘re going to ask me that?‖
―Are we?‖ It occurred to me then that I indeed had a pulse and it was rapidly picking up and my
skin was getting clammy.
His eyes blazed in a way I was all too familiar with as he wrapped his arms around my waist and
pressed his lips to my cheek. So warm. ―Silly girl, we‘re more than just together. We‘re soul
mates. We‘re eternal lovers. We‘re two halves of the same whole. We‘re the loves of each
other‘s lives.‖ His bottom lip pouted slightly on the last part and I had to fight the urge to bite it.
―When did we meet?‖
Edward laughed. ―I like our story too. It all started last year when your family moved to Chicago
so your father could take over one of my father‘s banks. Charlie having been an important
business associate of ole Edward Sr. Charlie and his family were invited to dinner. Little did I
know that Charlie had a beautiful daughter named Bella that I would meet and fall for almost
instantly.‖
―So similar,‖ I breathed, pressing myself into his chest.
―Why are you acting so strange, love?‖
I shook my head, not knowing how to answer that question truthfully. ―Dream?‖
―It must have been a crazy dream to have you all jumbled like this.‖
―It was amazing.‖ So amazing that it couldn‘t have been a dream.
―Maybe we should stop napping in the courtyard.‖
―Maybe.‖
―Are you two coming or not?‖ Elizabeth called out the backdoor again.
My eyes shot up to her and drank in her appearance. Of course she looked different, more
modern, wearing a white and pastel yellow jogging suit, her hair cut in soft layers around her
face. She was so beautiful still.
Would she still know?
―We‘re coming. Bella just had a weird dream and I had to remind her what year it is,‖ Edward
joked, smiling down at me brilliantly.
―Is that so?‖ Elizabeth smirked. ―What was it about?‖
―I don‘t know, it was silly.‖ I couldn‘t say it all out loud.
―Your parents are coming over for dinner. Your mom called a little while ago threatening to have
your things shipped here if you don‘t go home sometime soon,‖ Elizabeth said playfully, walking
back inside.
My heart jumped at the mention of Renee. She was alive and so was Charlie… and apparently
Elizabeth and Edward Sr. as well. Memories… I had memories. Too many memories. I was
Isabella Marie Swan born September 13th, 1987 in Boston, Massachusetts. I was an academic
honors student and I had an amazing boyfriend, Edward Anthony Masen II born June 20th, 1987.
But what about the Isabella Marie Swan born in 1901? What about Alice and Jasper Whitlock?
What about Emmett McCarty and Rosalie Hale? Carlisle and Esme Cullen?
I had never heard of the Spanish Influenza Pandemic before. How could I have associated that in
my mind for a dream? And what about the towns? I‘d never heard of Ashland, Wisconsin.
Google existed in this time. I was going to utilize it.
―Are we ever going to see about lunch?‖ Edward asked, looking at me with his beautiful crooked
grin.
―Kiss me first,‖ I whispered. I needed to feel him.
―It would be my pleasure,‖ he whispered back, pressing his warm, very human and pliable lips
against mine.
I threaded my fingers through his silky bronze coif, tugging on the strands and pulling him
closer, the same hunger that I‘d always had for him brimming over and leading me to press my
body flush against his. He groaned and new memories flooded my mind, memories of me going
to my doctor to get put on the pill so we could finally be ‗together‘.
I chuckled lightly and Edward pulled away, breathing heavily and smiling. ―What?‖
―I love you, Edward.‖
―I love you too.‖
―Forever?‖
―Always.‖
Always…
―I‘m glad you‘ll follow me anywhere,‖ I whispered, holding his hand tightly as we walked
inside.
―I would ask what you mean by that but I learned a long time ago that I‘ll never understand your
mind and the way it works.‖
―No, you‘ll never get inside my head, not unless I want you too,‖ I smiled, although my words
were cryptic.
―I‘m stealing your journal.‖
―You don‘t know where it is.‖
―Under my mattress.‖
―Dammit. I have to move it.‖
Edward and I shared a laugh as our banter continued and I couldn‘t help but relish in the
contentment and utter bliss I was feeling. Whatever the hell this is, it‘s right. I could only hope
that our days of fighting for what we have are over. I just wanted to be happy and it seemed like
we were. I couldn‘t wait to get started.
But first things first, I was going to eat lunch, human food, and then after that, I was going to
search county records and old news paper clippings because there is no way in hell that my mind
made all of that up.
~*~~*~~*~
Outtake #2
EPILOGUE
Alice Cullen – POV
Forks, Washington ~March, 23rd, 2005~
―Oh!‖ I exclaimed, the vision quick and blurry around the edges, but still something.
―What is it, darlin‘? Jasper asked, picking up on my excitement.
―Bella!‖
Jasper‘s face fell at the mention of the sister we never truly got the chance to know. ―Alice,
we‘ve been over this a thousand times. When are you-‖
―I saw her! And Edward too!‖
―Alice…‖
―Shut up, Jasper. You‘ll see,‖ I said smugly before running down to the river behind our house.
I remember that day back in 1926 so vividly. Bella defeated the Volturi but lost control of her
gift, turning it loose on us Cullens, Edward included. We all knew she hadn‘t meant to do it, but
it was too much for her to bear. She‘d never used her gift before and to be thrown into it so
suddenly and unexpectedly had grave results.
I guess we were lucky that Edward was the first to go. With him dying, Bella couldn‘t live long
enough to execute the rest of us, even though she was desperately trying to stop herself. Carlisle
had to explain to us later when we were all recovering that Edward and Bella were special. I
knew they were just from things I had seen about them, but I had never expected to hear such a
heart wrenching story. They were cursed as humans, something I never truly believed possible
up until their story.
It was Edward and Bella who were the first couple in our family to be exact. Never have I
witnessed a love so brutal, so worth having, than that of Edward and Bella. Through time they
traveled, fighting to hold on to what was rightfully theirs: the greatest love mortals and
immortals alike could hope to have.
I know the secret that they were bound to. Everything washed over me when Bella met my eyes
that final time: her memories that she had kept locked away coming to me in the form of
sporadic visions.
Maybe it was Fate herself that knew I wouldn‘t tell a soul, not even Jasper, what I knew about
them. I was chosen to be entrusted with the care of this secret; this story. I had guarded it well.
I drove myself crazy for a long time, especially after the birth records of Isabella Swan and
Edward Masen seized to exist, Edward‘s home having been taken over by a relative that even
Carlisle didn‘t know. It was incredibly strange yet I had a feeling that there was a reason behind
it.
After all, Fate owed both Edward and Bella and unencumbered chance at happiness.
Bella sitting at a computer with an internet search engine up on the screen.
Ah – she remembered something pertaining to us.
A phone call from a Chicago number one week, 3 days, 7 hours, 18 minutes and 31 seconds from
now.
My visions were becoming clearer.
Bella… I would be here when she needed answers. She would find me and I would tell her what
she needs to know.
Even if my only explanation is something you only find in fairy tales.
~*~~*~~*~