One More Try

Love Me Again

Book 2

by

Ted Evans

© 2018 Ted Evans

All Rights Reserved. This book or any

portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in

any manner whatsoever without the express

permission of the publisher except for the use of

brief quotations in a book review.

This book is a work of fiction. Any

resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places,

events or locations is purely coincidental. The

characters are all productions of the author's

imagination.

Please note that this work is intended only for

adults over the age of 18 and all characters

represented as 18 or over.

About One More Try

Sexy. Funny. Rich.

The only man who has ever captured my heart.

He’s back in town and sees me with a baby.

I tell him that I’m taken.

I tell him that it’s too late.

But actions speak louder than words as he asks

me to give him one more try.

I know he'll feel different about us if he

learned the secret that I've been keeping for too

long.

Author's Note:

This is a standalone novel, with no cheating

and a happy ever after romance story.

Chapter One

Alessandra

I sighed, tucking back a lock of hair that blew

into my face. It was the weekend, but the park had

quite a few people around. Every time she passed

by someone, they smiled at her and wanted to stop

and coo at the stroller I was pushing.

“We’re only here to have a nice, relaxing walk,

isn’t that right?”

My six months old baby, just stared up at me.

He was lying back, swaddled in warm, soft

blankets, covered up to his chest. He was sucking

on one closed fist, and he wiggled the other at me

on hearing my voice. I smiled at him and removed

one hand from the stroller handle to reach a finger

out and poke his cheek.

He waved his hand, pulling the other from his

mouth to make some aggrieved noises.

I giggled. “Sorry, baby. I won’t bother you

again. You like this better than staying cooped up at

home, though, right?”

I didn’t get as much time to spend with Danny

as I would have loved. Since my life had come to a

standstill when I realized I was carrying him, things

had changed. Now that he was surviving outside of

me, I knew it was time to get my life back together.

That had been fifteen months ago, and within that

time, I’d thought of a lot of things.

One of those things was my baby’s father. I

had thought of him quite a lot. Still, it was a

surprise to look out and see him, out of the blue,

just a few feet in front of me. What I saw was

enough to make me pause. Danny made noises,

wondering why we’d stopped again, but I couldn’t

move.

Joshua…

We weren’t together anymore, but we still

lived in the same town. I had known I would run

into him eventually, but the last place I ever

expected to meet him was at a park. We never went

to one when we were together, and we’d been a

couple since high school.

The last thing I would have expected to see at

that moment, though, was Joshua also moving a

stroller, and holding a baby in the other arm,

smiling down at them.

My heartfelt funny, like I’d been stabbed by

something cold. The breath blew out of my lungs,

and I felt like I was choking on the air for a

moment. I wanted to turn around and leave, but

then he also looked up and saw me. The warm

smile he’d just directed to that child froze on his

face, as did his entire body, then the smile

disappeared.

Is Danny his?

It had been my idea to leave him, though it

hadn't been an easy one to make. But once my

mind was made, I turned away with no intention of

looking back to the past. I didn’t take into account

how badly it would hurt.

Maybe it was because, fifteen months later, it

was all still too fresh?

Then, Joshua slowly resumed walking, his eyes

trained on me.

My breath caught in my throat. My body was

so tense. I wanted to turn around and run away

immediately. If he had moved on, then I didn’t

want to face it, not yet. Maybe in another year, or

two, or even more, I’d be able to come to terms

with it. But if he just looked at me with indifference

and told me he had found someone else so quickly

when I was still thinking about him, it would break

me.

A noise from Danny in his stroller made me

look down, and remember that I wasn’t alone. I had

my baby with me. The son of the man coming to

me with another baby cradled in his arm.

“Alessandra. I’m surprised to see you here.”

Hearing him call my name brought me back to

myself. He sounded so casual like nothing had

happened, and it made me think that it wouldn’t be

fair if I were the only one affected by our meeting.

So, I took a last, long look at my son for courage,

and lifted my head. Joshua’s mouth was curved a

little in what could pass as a smile, but the look in

his eyes was too intense for that.

I faked a smile. “Joshua. I’m surprised to see

you here, too. And with a baby with you. Is it

yours?”

Damn.

The question slipped without my permission.

Wouldn’t asking outright just let him know that it

was bothering me? Then, he arched an eyebrow,

and his eyes dropped to my stroller.

“I’m not the only one walking around with a

baby, Alessandra. And no, he’s not mine. Do you

remember my cousin, Wendy?”

“Ah,” I said, nodding.

Of course, I remembered his cousin. He and I

had been close throughout high school and further.

While I hadn't seen her in a while, Wendy and I

knew each other, and we’d been close, thanks to

my relationship with Joshua. Though it had been

long since I last seen her, compared to Joshua.

Outwardly, I didn’t let it show, but I was

releasing a sigh of relief internally. Then, I was a

little annoyed at myself for feeling that way.

The truth was that I never wanted to split-up

with Joshua, let alone forget him. I had been

prepared for it because I no longer thought a

relationship between us would be possible.

“I did know she was seeing someone, though I

didn’t realize they were this serious. Congratulate

her for me when you see her next, okay?”

“Sure,” he said with a smile. “Though I am

surprised you took the nanny route, Alessandra. I

didn’t think you got along well with children.”

Ah, I realized. It was the natural conclusion for

him to come to, that I was a nanny and not Danny’s

mother. I understood it, and I was hesitant to tell

him Danny’s exact origin, but it did annoy me a

little. Couldn’t he have assumed the same as I did?

That I had moved on without him and was starting

a family with someone else?

It could have been that I knew he had someone

ready to marry him, while he was all of my first,

relationship-wise.

“Yeah, it…was a job that just chose me?” I

said, quickly coming up with an excuse. “I never

thought I’d be good with children either, but it’s not

like I never envisioned having any. In the future.”

With you, I didn’t add out loud.

I thought I saw something changes in his

expression, but then the smile on his face grew.

“I heard that you failed your final exam, so I

was wondering how you were. But you look just

fine.”

This time, I couldn’t hold back my surprise.

“How did you know that?”

He let out a chuckle and scratched his neck

with his free hand.

“Ah, well. I kept tabs on you,” he admitted.

“Sorry, it’s probably really creepy that your old

flame is keeping an eye on you, huh? Don’t worry;

I didn’t encroach about your private life. I didn’t

hire someone or anything, I just asked a mutual

friend, and they told me about the exam.”

“Oh,” I murmured, feeling my heart calm

down.

I’d told my friends about the exam but only

told a few about the pregnancy. After all, we didn’t

have all our friends in common, Joshua even had

friends I’d never heard of or met before. I had kept

the secret of the pregnancy from the people that I

thought would tell Joshua about it.

Not that I intended to keep it from him for

forever, that wouldn’t be fair. I didn’t know when

would be the right time to tell him, or what he

would do.

“Why become a nanny?” he asked, tilting his

head slightly. “It’s still a bit of a shock that you

went that route. Are you giving up on being a

lawyer?”

“Of course not,” I said immediately. “You

know how important it is to me.”

Studying law wasn’t easy. Passing the bar

exam would be the hardest of it, but there was

nothing natural about it. No one would try it out as

a joke, and I didn’t get as far as I did to give up.

There just hadn't been much of choice. I was too

stressed out to study thoroughly for my finals, so I

failed. In the end, I decided to wait for Danny to be

born before I got my affairs in order and went back.

“I’m just doing this to fill the gap right now,” I

confessed. “I thought I needed some time away

from my studies, if I just threw myself right back in,

I might fail again, and it doesn’t hurt to raise a bit

of cash. I intend to go back and finish law school

eventually. You know it’s been my dream for the

longest time.”

Joshua chuckled. “Yeah, I still remember. You

didn’t even pick until our senior year of high

school, you wanted to try all sorts of careers

before, and then out of nowhere, law was your

passion.”

I bit down on my lip. I could feel my heart

waver, but I forced myself to be strong. Joshua and

I shared too many memories together. We had been

friends for so many years before becoming lovers,

and it wasn’t something so easy to erase. I had been

so busy with school and heartbreak, then with

Danny. I hadn't had time to prepare myself, so

being this close to him was dangerous.

Danny made a sound of discontent, coming to

my rescue and making me look down. His face was

scrunching up, his fists waving in the air, legs

shifting under his blanket. He was unhappy we had

stopped for so long already, and I smiled at him.

“Sorry, baby boy,” I cooed. “You’re getting a

little impatient, huh? Don’t worry; we’re going

now.”

Would he recognize his son?

I was both worried and curious about this.

Joshua was tall, blond and blue-eyed, like both his

parents. I was a little on the short and slightly curvy

side, with brown hair, and green eyes. Joshua

family genes were active, and our son had come out

with blond hair and blue eyes, just like his father,

though my parents did say some of his features

resembled mine.

If Joshua moved close enough and saw him,

would he be filled with recognition? This was

another issue that I didn’t know where I stood. I

wanted to keep it a secret, because...

You can't have it both ways, Alessandra.

“I’m sorry,” I said with an apologetic smile.

“Danny gets fussy, so I brought him out for a walk

hoping to calm him down. I don’t have long; I’m

not supposed to keep him out for so long.”

“Oh,” he said, and I thought he looked a little

disappointed. “I guess you have to go, then. But

there is one thing.”

He smiled again, and I felt apprehension in my

chest. He looked entirely too happy.

“I’m glad to know you haven’t given up on

your studies yet,” he started. “But it’s also good for

me that you’re a nanny right now because Wendy is

desperate for a nanny.”

Oh, no.

“Would you mind helping out?” He ran a hand

through his hair as he chuckled. “I brought the little

tyke out because she was busy and didn’t have

anyone to leave him with. He’s her precious baby

so that she won’t leave him with just anyone, you

know? I can't keep doing this, and she already

knows you so that you would be perfect!”

“Sure,” I said. “I would love to!”

What the hell am I saying!

“Could you give me your number, then? I tried

out your old one only to find it was disconnected.”

“Ah, that’s because I lost my phone sometime

last year. I got it replaced. Let me give you my new

number.”

“Okay.”

Joshua pulled out his phone, and she read the

digits out for him. He saved the number, then called

to make sure it was the right one. She pulled her

ringing phone from her purse, and he finally looked

satisfied.

“Thanks, Alessandra,” he said with a grin. “I’ll

tell Wendy to give you a call when she can. I’ll see

you later!”

I watched him turn and walk away after his

parting shot, knowing that there was a chance that I

really would be seeing him later.

Crap!

Why couldn’t I have just said I was too busy?

Chapter Two

Joshua

I drove past the gates and into the compound,

my hands tight on the wheel. It had been an hour

ago already, but my heart was still beating fast in

my chest.

A sound from the back seat had me looking at

Danny, who I’d strapped carefully into his car seat.

“Are you comfortable back there, little guy?

Don’t worry; we’ll be seeing your mom soon,

okay?”

We would have arrived a lot sooner, but I was

a little paranoid with Danny in the back seat, so I

was driving slowly and carefully.

I parked the car, then jumped out. I moved to

the back seat, and pulled both Danny and the car

seat out of my car, then closed the doors. It locked

itself automatically as I walked up to the house.

Wendy was already there, opening the door to meet

us.

“Oh, you’re back,” she chirped, hands

outstretched. “Give me back my baby!”

I rolled my eyes as I let her take Danny, then

followed her into the house, closing the door behind

us.

“You sound like I wanted to run away with

him. You told me to take him out because you had

things to do.”

“It wasn’t a lot of stuff, though! I was done

ages ago, and I’ve been waiting for you to bring

him back to me.”

She shot a glare over her shoulder at me, and I

could only roll my eyes. It was just Wendy being

her usual self. She had been in such a hurry earlier

that she’d disturbed me on the one day I had off in

the week and demanded I come and spend some

time with Danny. I knew nothing about being

around children, but the little tyke was adorable, so

I didn’t mind it, but it was still my day off.

“You could at least be grateful, you know,” I

muttered. “I could have ignored you when you

called and gone back to sleep.”

“Don’t listen to your uncle, baby,” she cooed,

ignoring me. “He’s a total grump, but he’s a nice

guy under that grump, okay? He loved spending

time with you today.”

I frowned, feeling a little irritated. But I

couldn’t say it was a lie. Wendy’s son was well

behaved, and there hadn't been any accidents along

the way. I was never sure of how I felt about

babies. Before, when Alessandra and I were still

together, I had thought we would have children

someday after we got finished college and got

married. Things ended between us in a way I hadn't

expected.

Meeting her today at the part, with a baby in

tow no less, had been the best thing to have

happened.

I had been worried about how I would get in

touch with her. It had been more than a year since

she walked out of my life, and of course, there was

no way I could forget her that easily.

“So?” Wendy said, glancing at him once more.

“You look excited. Did something happen at the

park? Did you finally meet someone?”

I touched my face, confused. Did I look

excited? I thought I was hiding it well, but then

again, Wendy and I had always been close, and she

was good at reading me.

“I’m glad I don’t have you working with me in

the company. You’d be insufferable.”

“Oh, please. The only reason I’m not working

for you is that you couldn’t afford me,” she teased.

“But anyway, what happened?”

I hesitated, but in the end, decided there was

nothing wrong with telling her. There was no one

else close to me than her, aside from Alessandra,

but that had changed in the past year for a reason. I

planned on improving it.

“You’ll never guess who I met up with today.”

Wendy hummed. “You’re right; I’ll never

guess because it’s annoying. Just tell me?”

I rolled my eyes.

Wendy led us through the kitchen and to the

back patio of the house. We sat at one of the patio

tables underneath the shade, and she set Danny in

his carrier on top of the table in front of her.

“I saw Alessandra.”

Up until then, she hadn't shown much interest

in me, but when I mentioned that name, she looked

up, just as surprised as I have been to see her.

“Did you say, you saw Alessandra? As in, the

Alessandra that walked out on you last year after

that crap that went down with Auntie?”

I grimaced. “She did, but it hurts to hear it, you

know?”

She waved a dismissive hand at me, and I

frowned at her. At least care a little bit about my

feelings, cousin dearest.

“Where did you go? I asked you to take my

son for a walk; I hope you didn’t go anywhere too

far.”

“Seriously, what do you take me for? If you

distrust me this much, why did you call me to come

and look after him in the first place?”

“Because I was desperate and you were the

last person I thought of,” she said bluntly.

I stared at her for a long moment. “Tell me

again exactly why we’re close? I feel like I should

leave now before you insult me further.”

“No, no,” she said quickly. “I’m really sorry,

okay? I do trust you; it’s just… I haven’t heard

much about her since what we heard about her

exam. I didn’t have the time to look for her, but she

wasn’t keeping in touch, and I wondered if she

didn’t move out of town.”

“She told me she lost her phone when I ran

into her in the park. She was pushing a baby with

her, Wendy.”

Her mouth went round in a soundless “Oh.”

She understood the implication of what I was

saying.

I had kept it in when I saw Alessandra. At

least, I hoped she hadn't been able to read me as

quickly as Wendy seemed to be, but I had not been

okay to see her pushing a stroller, like the one I

was. I hadn't tried to look, because I didn’t want to

come off as overly curious, but I had wanted to see

Danny that was in it. At first, I’d wanted to lie to

myself that it might be a doll or a dog in there. But I

heard Danny cry.

“Was she…”

I sighed, and ran a hand down my face, feeling

the same frustration I’d felt earlier.

“I was jealous when I saw Alessandra walking

around with a baby,” I admitted. “I thought she’d

moved on quickly and had a kid with someone else.

I had no idea what I was going to do it that

happened, but she told me that wasn’t the case.”

It had been such a relief, and it had been hard

not to let it show. I’d thrown out the assumption

that she became a nanny because it was the first

thing that came to mind that wouldn’t make me feel

like I was about to have a heart attack.

She hadn't moved on.

That meant I still had a chance, but I couldn’t

push to talk to her right then, either.

Alessandra and I hadn't been talking in the

time leading to the breakup. Not because we didn’t

want to, the situation we were in at the time was

just terrible. There just wasn’t enough time for us to

focus on our relationship.

When my dad fell ill, I knew I had to take over

the company, and everything else was pushed to the

back seat. I didn’t want that to happen with

Alessandra and me, but she was finalizing her

exams and spending more time with her colleagues

at school, and studying, and spending less time with

me. I didn’t want to bother her, and I was busy

anyway, so we would go for long bouts of silence

before I realized we weren’t talking.

I had thought things couldn’t get any worse.

They did.

My father passed away. In that time, I wanted

to talk to Alessandra. But she was busy, and I had

my mother and Rachel. I wanted her exams to go

well, so I gave up on bothering Alessandra.

Then, a month later, out of nowhere,

Alessandra broke up with me and walked away. I

kept trying to talk to her, but I had so much to do,

and I got busy again.

By the time I wanted to find her so we could

have a proper talk, she seemed to have

disappeared. Aside from the news of what

happened at school, no one had talked to her or

knew how to contact her.

I had thought I’d lost her forever. Now that I’d

found her again, I was going to make sure we had

that long-awaited talk.

Wendy speaking up brought me out of my

thoughts.

“Did you guys talk? What the hell happened to

her over the past year and a half…”

I held a hand up, and her voice trailed off.

“I can't answer all those questions at the same

time, you know? Anyway, she’s acting as a nanny,

so Danny is someone else’s. We didn’t talk much,

and honestly, she didn’t look like she wanted to talk

to me much. But I did manage to get her number by

saying you might need a nanny,” I added with a

grin.

It was Wendy’s time to roll her eyes. “Why

would you go and do that? That’s silly, Joshua. Just

tell Alessandra how you feel. You always wanted to

speak to her after she disappeared, but you get the

chance, and you blow it like that?”

Immediately, I was shaking my head.

“Allow me to have my secrets for a little bit

longer, Wendy. Besides, it wasn’t exactly the best

time.”

We were both busy. I could have offered to

walk with her, but she did look like she was ready

to run away from me when she first saw me. I

didn’t doubt that, if I’d asked that, she would have

turned me down flat. Alessandra had seemed a little

tense at my presence, and while I wasn’t sure why,

I knew this wasn’t something I could force, or try

to move along quickly.

“Wouldn’t it be easier if you just told her

everything, though?” Wendy questioned. “I mean,

you act all tough, and you busy yourself with work,

but I know how much you cared for her and I know

you’re not over her.”

I snorted. “Of course I’m not over her. I’ve

known her for nearly a decade, and we were

together for about eight years. You can't just erase

all that in fifteen months. At least, it’s not gone for

me, but I don’t know about her. I can't just go up to

her, say ‘Alessandra I’m still in love with you, can

we get back together’ and hope for the best.”

Wendy rolled her eyes but didn’t argue.

I nearly did do it, though, I thought.

When I saw her at the park, a lot of things

didn’t register at first. After convincing myself that

she was really in front of me, what I wanted to do

at that moment was run to her and pull her into my

arms, ask where she’d been, why she had left me,

and told her that I wanted her back.

Her eyes looked down, into the stroller she was

pushing. Reality crashed on me, and it was chilling.

It’d taken all I had to appear casual when I went up

to her and spoke to her usually.

“I’m not going to be hasty,” I murmured. “I

feel like if I push too much, she’ll run away again. I

don’t know why she ran in the first place, and if I

could figure that out first, it might be easier to fix

this. But I plan to do this one step at a time. And

you are going to help me, Wendy.”

I turned my gaze to her, and she narrowed her

eyes at me suspiciously.

“What do you want from me? If you want me

to be your little spy…”

“Nothing like that. I got her number, but she

only gave it to me because I said you might need a

nanny. So what I need from you, is to get busy, and

try to align it with the days I’m not quite so busy.”

“And why exactly do I have to plan my life

around you?” she questioned, incredulous.

“It’s not something that difficult. You don’t

have someone to look after the kid when you have

things you want to do, right? So you’ve been

holding yourself back while you look for someone,

but you wouldn’t trust strangers that easily. It

doesn’t even have to be around my schedule. Just

tell me when and I can handle things at work.”

It was a busy time, but I was already giving it

my all. Besides, I was the boss. No one said I

couldn’t delegate some of the work to other people

to do.

After doing nothing but living and breathing

work for the last year, I deserved some time to

myself.

Wendy thought about it, but in the end, just

sighed and shrugged. I knew that meant she agreed

with me, and I grinned.

“Whatever. It’s good, I suppose. It’ll stop you

from being miserable.”

I watched as she went back to paying attention

to her son, cooing at him and tickling him to make

him giggle. And I remembered Alessandra and the

way that she looked into the stroller, maybe she

was better with kids than I’d ever given her credit

for. Maybe splitting up was good for us, and would

make us stronger once we got back together.

Maybe I was being hasty. Maybe she wouldn’t give

me one last try.

Chapter Three

Alessandra

“Shh, baby boy,” I murmured. “Don’t cry;

Mommy’s here.”

I was walking around my room at my parents’

house, holding Danny to my shoulder and rubbing

his back gently. I’d just been woken by his crying,

but he was thankfully calming down.

Now that I wasn’t in college, I had moved

back in with my parents. I did have a small

apartment away from home while I was still in

school, but since I’d failed my exam, and

considering I was alone and pregnant, I’d figured

moving back home for the time being would be the

best idea.

I had been apprehensive at first. I wasn’t sure

how my parents would take it, but they had been

lovely as usual and very supportive, I felt so lucky

to have them on my side. They both had work, but

for a while, Mom had taken a break from work to

help me. It was in the later stages of my pregnancy

when everything seemed to hurt and to move

around was such a chore. She had been the one to

get me to the hospital when I went into labor, and

she called Dad who had arrived quickly.

The two, proud grandparents were utterly in

love with their new grandson. They helped me out,

but I was insistent on being his primary caretaker

instead of bothering my parents, though I knew

they didn’t mind being disturbed.

It hadn't been easy, and I was sure I would

have lost my mind already if I hadn't had them.

“Are you okay now, baby? Are you hungry,

hmm? Why don’t we go feed you?”

I carried him out of my room. I only had my

bed there, and I liked being comfortable with this

part. The house was empty, but I left with his

blanket and went into the living room.

My parent’s house was a modest one. It only

had three bedrooms, and since only three, now

four, of us lived there, the extra bedroom had been

a guest room, and they’d offered to turn it into a

nursery for Danny. I declined the offer, though. I

didn’t intend to forever live with my parents, after

all, and I couldn’t say how long it would take

before I could move out. Instead, his crib was in my

room, and some of his stuff was in the other place.

I paused right outside my room and looked at

Danny in my arms, who stared up at me with his

father’s blue eyes.

“Would you like to take a bath first, baby? It’d

been a couple of days since I last washed you, so it

should be fine, right…?”

It had been a bit of a surprise for me to find

out babies didn’t need to be washed every day, at

least until they could crawl around on their own. It

was usually hard for me to find the time to shower

in the morning while he was awake, but we both

loved his bath times.

I went into the guest room to pick up his

things, then went to the bathroom with him.

Bathing with a baby was risky business, but I had

gotten the hang of it. I made sure the water was

beautiful and didn’t let it get too high. Danny’s bath

seat was nearby. His stuff was separate from mine,

so I bathed him first, with his body lying over my

chest. Then, I reached for his towel, swaddled him

in it, and put him in his seat. As he watched me, I

bathed quickly, then let the water drain as I stepped

out. I wrapped myself in my towel, then went to get

the both of us dressed.

There was nothing for me to do for the day,

which meant I’d be spending the whole time with

my baby, so I dressed in loose cotton pants and a t-

shirt without a bra underneath. I carried the now

bathed baby to the kitchen and sat at the dining

table, then settled him in my arms. My stuff, I left

on the table, then I got Danny breastfeeding.

I was humming to myself, watching him nurse,

when my phone vibrated on top of the table. I had

the sound turned off so it wouldn’t bother him.

“Now, who could that be,” I breathed out.

“They’re ruining mother-baby bonding time for us.”

I was grumbling to myself as I adjusted Danny

to one arm without disturbing him too much, then

reached for my phone. When I saw who it was,

though, my whole body stiffened.

Joshua.

When I lost my old phone, I’d lost a lot of my

contact list, since I didn’t have it all saved. Like

that, I’d lost contact with a lot of my friends, but

besides family, there hadn't been that many stored

on my phone.

There had been Joshua’s number, but I knew it

off the top of my head. The moment I got a new

phone, I saved it but never used it. And now, he

was calling me.

For a second, I’d forgotten that I gave him my

number back in the park.

Crap. Why ever did I do something so stupid?

I wanted to curse out loud, but there was some

grumbling from Danny, too, as if he didn’t want to

be forgotten. I looked down, and he had his eyes

open and looked up at me. I’d heard from Mom

that children could sense the feelings of their

parents, so I made myself relax and smile.

“It’s okay, baby. You keep doing your thing.

I’ll make this quick.”

It felt a little awkward for me, answering the

phone for Joshua with his son nursing from me, but

he didn’t have to know that.

“Hello, Joshua,” I chirped. “I’m a little busy

right now. Is there something I could help you

with?”

“There was…something important I wanted to

talk to you about.”

His tone was severe, and I frowned, feeling

concerned. Danny fussed in my arm, and I gently

rubbed his back.

“What is it?”

“It’s not something I want to discuss over the

phone,” he said slowly. “Do you mind if we meet

up so we can talk? There’s this café that sells

wonderful coffee. It opened some months ago. I

can send you the address?”

It was a mistake.

I hadn't been thinking at all when I gave him

my number, because if I had, then I would have

come up with some excuse, like I was too busy with

my current clients, and walked away.

Tell him no, my mind demanded.

“Of course!” was what came out of my mouth.

Internally, I groaned at my stupidity.

“That’s great,” he said, suddenly sounding

happier. “I’ll send you the directions right now.

What time do you think you could make it? I’m at

work, but I don’t have a lot to do so I could take a

break for an hour or so.”

“Um, since we’re having coffee, we should

probably go a while before lunch. I could maybe

meet you in the next thirty minutes?”

If I’m doing this anyway, might as well get it

over with quickly.

“That’s fine with me. I’ll see you soon,

Alessandra.”

He said my name, and I felt my body shivered.

The tone was completely casual, but I had always

loved how he said my name. Another thing that

hadn't changed. He cut off the call without giving

me time to catch my bearings. Then, a minute later,

I felt my phone vibrate and unlocked it to find the

message he’d sent me with the instructions.

I sighed and looked down at my son.

“Your mom isn’t brilliant sometimes, but you’ll

forgive me for that, won't you, baby?”

Danny just opened one eye to look up at me

for a second, then closed it.

“Well, at least you look like you’re enjoying

yourself.”

I couldn’t go with Danny to meet Joshua, but I

was lucky. My parents hadn't gone to work, they

were both on a short vacation and were out doing

stuff for themselves. After arranging things with

them, I got myself changed and went to meet

Joshua.

***

It all took longer than expected, so when I

arrived at the coffee shop, Joshua was already

seated, with a mug in front of him. He was

frowning down at his phone. Taking a breath to

steady myself, I stepped forward. I stopped in front

of his table, and he looked up. The frown

immediately melted away as he grinned and stood.

“I’m sorry I made you wait,” I apologized.

“There was some stuff…”

Joshua waved my apology away. “It’s fine; I

got here a bit early myself. I didn’t wait for too

long.”

I pursed my lips, knowing it was a lie. I was

late by around twenty minutes because it took so

long to get ready, then find a taxi and make it to the

café. If he’d been early, then he had waited for

even longer. No matter how free he said he was, he

was still running a huge company. He couldn’t have

that much free time.

“Please, sit down,” he said, gesturing to the

seat opposite him.

I did. There was a menu on the table, and I

picked it up and looked through it. Joshua must

have called for a waiter while I wasn’t listening

because there was one standing beside our table

when I looked up.

“What can I get for you, miss?”

I made a quick order, getting something light

and sweet, low on the coffee, and a slice of cake to

go with it. The waiter noted everything down, then

turned to leave.

“How have you been?” he asked.

I stared for a moment, then let out a small

laugh. He arched an eyebrow at me, and I covered

my mouth with my palm so he wouldn’t see the

smile.

“I’m sorry, was that all you called me out here

for? We didn’t have to meet just over that…”

I could feel my worry start to go down. I

wasn’t sure what he wanted from me. What if he

asked to get back together? Or asked why I left him

or asked what life had been like for me for the past

year and a half?

What if he asked me to go back to him?

I had no idea what my response would have

been to any of it, and it was too early to even think

about.

“That’s not all I asked you here for. Remember

what I told you last time?”

I nodded. “About Wendy needing a nanny for

her baby.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Still, why

not just give my number to her and have her be the

one to call me and meet with me?”

“She’s busy. I told her I’d make the call for

you.”

The waiter came back, and we paused. He set

my drink down, and my slice of cake. I picked up

the mug, blew lightly over the top, and took a

careful sip. I sighed, tasting the sweet drink. The

coffee content was low, and it had too much sugar,

but it felt terrific. I’d had to restrict my coffee

intake while I was pregnant. I didn’t have to give it

up entirely, as long as I’d kept my intake low I

could have the occasional cup, but this was the first

time in ages I was drinking coffee at a café.

Even longer since I had done this with Joshua

sitting across from me.

“So, what did you need?” I asked, getting

serious.

I had to remember what it was I was here for.

Though a part of me was confused as to why I was

still doing this. It was just torturing myself,

continuing to see him when I’d decided to forget all

about him, but like always, it wasn’t easy for me to

refuse him anything.

“How often do you look after Danny? The one

I saw you with last time unless you have other

clients already…”

“No, I currently only have the one.”

He nodded. “Well, Wendy needs someone to

look after my little cousin for a couple of days a

week. Like I told you before, she doesn’t get a lot

of time to herself, and she doesn’t have someone

trustworthy to look after him while she’s out. So

she hasn’t been going out much, but she’s getting

busy with something.”

I nodded along. I was kind of curious about

how Wendy was doing, and her little boy. With the

way Joshua had been holding him so close to his

chest last time, all swaddled in blankets; I hadn't

seen him.

“I could do that much,” I said with a shrug. I

will need the days specified, though, so I can plan

around it.”

“Of course,” he said quickly. “And where is

Danny?”

“He’s with my parents.”

The answer was automatic, but a second later,

my back stiffened.

“No,” I said quickly. “I meant Danny is with

his parents.”

Crap.

How could I have made a mistake like that? It

was because I was so damn relaxed around Joshua,

as always. I had forgotten again that things had

changed. We weren’t together, and I was keeping a

huge secret from him.

I noticed Joshua looking at me suspiciously,

and decided it was time to cut off the meeting.

“Um, I need to head out now, I still have my

job to do,” I said quickly. “Since you already know

my number, you can just give it to Wendy and have

her call me, okay?”

He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

I had been drinking my coffee and taking out

bites of the cake as we talked. I ate the last bit,

downed the last of the coffee, and hurriedly got up.

“Thanks for treating me to coffee,” I said,

running away.

I got outside when I remembered I hadn't paid

for my share, then shoved the thought aside. He

was the owner of a huge company. He could afford

to pay the bill. A small price to pay for breaking my

heart.

Chapter Four

Alessandra

“Are you sure you have everything, honey?”

I looked at mom and smiled. “Of course I’ve

got everything. I’m not a kid anymore to still be so

forgetful.”

She chuckled. “You keep telling yourself that.

And don’t worry, I’ll look after my grandson just

fine, so you don’t need to worry. Just let me know

when you’re finished, and I can expect you home,

okay?”

“Okay, Mom. I’ll see you later. You too, baby.”

I waved my fingers at both my mom and my

son. Then, I turned around and left the house.

She had no idea where I was going. I hadn't

told Dad either, but he was off at work, so that was

less of a problem.

They both knew exactly who the father of their

grandson was. And while I hadn't explained much

about what happened between Joshua, and me I

knew they weren’t exactly happy with the decision

to not tell him about his son. I hadn't told them

about meeting him yet, or who I was going out to

achieve. They just thought I was going out to meet

a friend, and they both thought it was about time I

started going back into the world.

Sorry, Mom, I silently apologized as I closed

the front door behind me.

I had no intention of letting them in on this just

yet. I wasn't exactly smart, to begin with, I was

going with the flow while doing the exact opposite

of what I thought I should do.

My phone vibrated before I’d gone too far, and

I pulled my phone out of my purse. I unlocked it

and checked the message.

I forgot to send this earlier, sorry about that!

The directions.

A second message arrived with the directions,

and I took a deep breath before going to look for a

taxi. I didn’t currently have a car on my own, so

since Dad had left with the car, this was the only

option left to me. I gave the driver the address, and

we took off.

I had received the schedule for the two days

per week that Wendy would need me. I was ready

to go and babysit Joshua. I was, undoubtedly,

feeling nervous. For one thing, I was going to

Wendy’s place. That was a big problem.

Maybe I should come up with some excuse

and not go; I thought to myself, a little desperately.

I had a feeling that going would be a bad idea,

but still, because I was already making bad

decisions, I arrived at the address, and instead of

telling the driver to keep moving, I decided to pay

the man and get out of the car. Then, I walked to

the gate and pressed on the buzzer right beside it.

There must have been a camera somewhere,

because a moment later, the gateway automatically

opened on its own.

After a short hesitation, I went in.

The gate closed behind me with a dull sound,

and it brought dread to my chest. Still, I moved

forward.

Wow.

I had to admit; I was impressed by the place.

Then again, for someone related to Joshua and his

illustrious family, I shouldn’t have been so

surprised.

There was a long moment of staring before I

remembered what I was there for, and I walked

ahead. I stopped at the door, and before I could

knock, it was pulled open.

“Wendy,” I breathed out.

She stared at me blankly for a moment, before

grinning widely, arms are thrown wide open.

“Alessandra! It’s been so long!”

Her arms went around me in a hug so tight; I

felt a little uncomfortable. I was surprised, but only

for a moment, letting out a laugh because this was

just like her.

“You haven’t changed much, have you? And

just so you know, I’m having some trouble

breathing right now. Where does all that strength

come from in such a small body?”

Wendy giggled and released me. She was only

a little shorter than me, and curvier, though that

could have been thanks to the pregnancy since I

remembered her being slimmer. She had the same

blonde hair and blue eyes as Joshua and the rest of

his family, only her hair was darker, closer to

blonde-brown.

“You know, Joshua told me he saw you, and I

almost couldn’t believe it! After you finished

school, you seemed to drop off the face of the

earth.”

“Oh, it was nothing like that,” I laughed. “I

just needed some time to get my mind in order.

Failing an important exam like that isn’t easy on

anybody, you know? And I didn’t disappear; I just

went to stay with my parents.”

“So that’s where you are. I thought you

moved. Ah! Look at me, talking your ear off before

I even invited you in! Please, come inside, let me

get you something to drink. Or eat? Whatever you

prefer.”

She stood aside so I could walk in, then closed

the door behind me and turned around to grin at me

expectantly.

“I’m pretty sure I came here to look after your

baby while you went out?” I made my statement a

question. “So, if you could maybe show me the

way to Danny and be on your way…?”

“Oh, come on,” she complained. “I haven’t

seen or talked to you in over two years, and this is

the kind of welcome I get? You’re not looking very

happy to see me.”

She pouted, and I felt a stab of guilt in my

chest.

“It’s not that I don’t want to see you,” I said

weakly. “It’s just that…”

I don’t want to see you.

Wendy was the last person I could feel safe

around right then. She was my closest friend, even

after so much time apart. She was a perceptive

woman, and she’d always managed to find me out

when I lied in the past. I had missed her, but I was

living and making decisions for two now, so I

couldn’t act all selfish.

“Danny is still asleep in his nursery,” she

explained. “I don’t want to go and wake him up

just yet, and I’m not in any hurry. I haven’t even

had breakfast yet. Can you join me in the kitchen?

You can watch, you don’t have to help me cook.”

“No, I’ll feel bad if I just watch, let me help at

least…”

We gravitated toward the kitchen. I took a

moment to feel impressed at the big, beautiful

kitchen, then followed Wendy as she moved to the

fridge to look inside.

“Do you have any preferences?” she asked. “I

could do pancakes, eggs, bacon, or some veggies if

that’s your thing. Maybe some milk, yogurt, or

juice?”

“You don’t have to do anything so elaborate.

Some toast and juice will be more than enough for

me.”

She was acting so excited, I thought I’d feel

bad if I told her I already ate before coming, so I

went along with her. Luckily, I was able to talk

down her plans to do something simple instead. In

five minutes, we were seated at the dining table,

eating.

“So, how long has it been?” Wendy asked

conversationally. “Over a year, right? You should

have kept in touch.”

I rolled my eyes. “Says the one that was so

into her loving relationship with her boyfriend that

she forgot she had friends.”

“I did, though,” she complained. “But I

couldn’t get a hold of you. Joshua mentioned you

lost your phone?”

I nodded. “That did happen, but only sometime

around last year. You didn’t try to contact me

before that, or you would have gotten me. But I’m

not angry about it, or anything. The two of you

worked out. Unless you ended up with someone

else?”

Wendy giggled. “No, not someone else. It’s the

same guy, and you’re right, we’re incredibly happy

together. Maybe you’ll get to meet him sometime,

but he always goes out to work early, and I’ve been

taking a break to take care of Danny.”

She started chatting about her partner, and I

nodded along with a smile on my face, though I felt

an ache in my chest. Watching her, a young mother

with her partner by her side, was enough to remind

me of the differences between our cases. I was also

a young mother, but unlike Wendy, I had gone

through everything, from the pregnancy to the

birth, to the first few of my baby’s months alone.

Well, I had my parents with me, but I didn’t have

the child’s other parent.

I used to think it was all fine. It had been my

own decision after all, and regretting it now would

be a bit of a waste. What was the use of regret,

when it couldn’t turn back time? But I felt it.

Would I have been this happy if I’d just come

clean to Joshua about everything?

Maybe. Or maybe, his mom would have found

some way to come between us. I didn’t think she

disliked me so much that she would turn away her

grandson, but she might push me to the side, take

my baby, and have Joshua raise him with the

woman she had chosen for him.

I knew he wouldn’t have just gone along with

it, but I never told him, and it was because I didn’t

want to take the risk.

“You’re happy with your life right now, aren’t

you?” I asked when Wendy stopped talking.

She nodded. “Definitely. What’s there to not

be happy about? Besides having some time to

myself now and then, I have all that I want.” Her

eyes narrowed shrewdly at me. “And what about

you, Alessandra? Because we didn’t talk before, I

only heard about you and my cousin breaking up

long after it happened. It’s been over a year since

then. Are you happy?”

I looked down at the table and pursed my lips.

“Why don’t we wash the dishes first? And clean up

the kitchen a little. It shouldn’t be long before the

little guy wakes up.”

Quickly, I got up and started clearing the table,

practically running away, but she was right on my

tail. I put everything in the sink, but before I could

begin to wash, she grabbed me by the arm, and I

froze.

“Don’t even think of hiding from me,

Alessandra. You know that doesn’t work on me.”

I stayed frozen for a moment, then sighed and

turned to look at her with a miserable expression.

“Don’t make me say it, okay? If you know me

so much, then you can guess.”

“I don’t know what to think right now, and that

is the problem. I might not have had your number,

but going by what Joshua has told me, the two of

you were having trouble before the breakup, and

not once did you ever come to me to talk things

out. I doubt it was for my sake, Alessandra, so be

frank with me. Okay?”

The look in her eyes was different from just a

moment ago. Her eyes were earnest, their gaze

practically piercing into me.

“Why don’t we go to the living room and sit

down to have a little talk, hmm?”

It was veiled as a suggestion, her voice gentle,

but her gaze didn’t change, and I knew it was more

of a command.

I didn’t fight as she tugged me toward the

living room. She pushed me into the couch then

disappeared back into the kitchen. When she came

back, she had a carton of juice and two glasses on a

tray. Silently, she set them down on the coffee

table, poured juice for the both of us, then handed

me one glass. She picked her own up; then her

intense gaze was back on me.

Dammit.

Almost immediately, I started leaking. The

uncomfortable feeling in my chest burst out, and I

could feel the tears coming out of nowhere and

trickling down my cheeks. Wendy’s gaze didn’t

waver.

Ah, I realized. Since I chose to let go of

Joshua, since long before that even… this is the

first time I’m crying.

“I have a baby,” I confessed. “I’m not playing

nanny for someone else’s kid; he’s my son. And

Joshua is the father.”

Wendy sighed but didn’t look surprised. “You

know, the moment he told me, I was sure. You, of

all people, give up on being a lawyer to become a

nanny? You wouldn’t do that even if you were

desperate and heartbroken over the breakup. Why

didn’t you tell him?”

I shrugged. “I panicked when he saw me,

Wendy. And since you seem to know so much, you

should know the why, right?”

She nodded, then set the glass of juice back on

the table. She reached behind herself and grabbed a

box of tissues placed on a stool beside the couch,

and handed them to me. I put my glass down and

grabbed the tissues.

“This is such a mess,” she sighed, suddenly

looking exhausted.

I let out a wet laugh as I agreed, "It is a mess,

isn’t it?”

She waited for me to get ahold of myself, and

when the crying was reduced to sniffling, I told her

everything. And with every word out of my mouth,

I could feel the burden in my chest slowly lifting.

I hadn't talked to anyone about everything that

happened. Not Joshua, not even my parents. She

was related to him, but also though she was his

cousin, Wendy was still my closest friend. She

would try to talk me out of things or try to get me

to see her side of things, but I knew she would take

my team no matter what I decided in the end.

Chapter Five

Joshua

I sat in my office, lost in thought. I was

technically supposed to be working, but I was also

the boss, so it wasn’t as if anyone was going to

scold me for being a little late. There wasn’t

anything urgent, either, or I wouldn’t be so relaxed.

How are they doing? Is she still there?

Today was the day Alessandra would have

shown up at Wendy’s house to babysit my little

cousin.

Should I have been there?

I had hoped her doing this would create

opportunities for us to meet, but it couldn’t happen

too quickly, either. I wanted to be there when she

went, but if she’d seen me, she might have thought

she was set up.

In the end, I decided not to go there and wait

for her, because I trusted Wendy.

She and Alessandra were close, so I doubted

she would tell me everything they talked about, but

she would at least help me a little. Wouldn’t she?

There was a knock on my door, and I looked

up, startled out of my thoughts.

“Come in,” I called.

The door opened, and my secretary walked in.

“Sir, do you need me for something else today? I

have a bit of an emergency at home, so I’d like to

leave early today.”

“Oh.” I already knew about her special

circumstances. I checked the time on my watch and

winced. “It’s fine; you can go ahead. I’ll be leaving

soon after you anyway. I hope everything goes well

at home.”

“Thank you, sir,” she said.

With a nod, she turned and left, closing the

door behind her.

I stared at the door for a minute, then let out a

heavy sigh. I hadn't realized how much time had

passed already. I had also gotten a lot less done for

the day than I initially thought I did.

“I better get something done before I go,” I

muttered to myself.

I might be the boss, but it wasn’t right to just

slack off.

Half an hour later, I was still in the middle of

work when my phone vibrated. I’d left it on my

table, right beside my keyboard, where it had

stayed pretty much since I walked into my office

this morning. I had hoped to get some news from

Wendy already, but I’d given up over an hour ago.

It was a little late now; I didn’t think she’d leave

her baby for so long, no matter how much she

complained about having no time to herself, I knew

she didn’t need too much of it if it meant being

away from both her husband and son for too long.

I picked up the phone and was surprised when

I saw Alessandra’s name on the screen instead.

Why is she calling?

As I wondered, I answered the call and put the

phone to my ear.

“Hello? Alessandra?”

“Joshua, sorry to call if you’re still in the

office,” she said.

I couldn’t tell what the call was about through

her tone. She sounded casual, but no emotion came

through in her voice. I made my tone pleasant and

leaned back into my chair to reply.

“It’s fine, it’s past work hours, anyway. I’m

almost done with work, anyway, I’ll be leaving the

office soon. Was there something you wanted?”

“Do you want to go out for a drink?” she

asked, then paused. She corrected, “I mean, would

you like to? If you’re not too busy. Maybe around

six thirty?”

I glanced at my watch, still surprised at the

sudden invitation. The time she suggested wasn’t so

long away.

Why is she calling to ask me out to a drink?

As much as I should have been happy about

the invite, it was still damn weird. Especially

because Alessandra never used to drink. When I

went out to bars and clubs with my friends, I rarely

ever took her along because I knew she didn’t like

it. And now she was asking me to go out to a bar?”

“Sure,” I agreed.

Just because it was a little weird, didn’t mean I

was going to say no.

“Where should I meet you?”

“Um, do you remember that bar…”

She started to speak, but let her voice trail off.

I smiled a little, wondering if she remembered all

the history we had together. We might not have

gone together often, but she knew where I liked to

go. I wanted her to think about it as much as

possible. If she thought of me and everything we’d

been through before, it might give me a higher

chance of getting through to her.

“Let me just text you the address,” Alessandra

said finally. “I’ll meet you there at six thirty?”

“Of course. I’ll see you.”

She cut the call, and I pulled the phone from

my ear. I stared at it for a moment, then it vibrated.

I checked the address she’d texted me and smiled.

It was a bar I knew, though I hadn't been there in a

while. I was too busy, and when I wasn’t working, I

was with Mom or Rachel. In fact, I couldn’t

remember the last time I called my old friends out

for a drink.

“So nostalgic,” I sighed to myself.

It wasn’t so far from the office. There wasn’t

much left of the document I was reviewing, so I

went through the rest of it quickly, and as

efficiently as possible. It would be pointless if I

made any mistakes, after all. I was running a huge

company that could topple down over a few

misplaced zeros.

Once I was done, I jumped out of my chair. I

collected my stuff and waited for my computer to

finish logging off—safety first. The moment it was

done, I left my office. Only two people had a key to

my office, and that was my secretary and me. I

locked the door behind me and hurried my way out.

In minutes, I was in my car, and I drove for the bar.

It was a short trip. It wasn’t far, to begin with,

and there wasn’t much traffic, either. I wondered if

I was supposed to wait outside for her, or if she was

already inside? I’d arrived on the dot, and I didn’t

know if she’d be late or not.

Instead of asking, I walked into the bar and

looked around. I felt relieved when I did see her,

then I smiled and walked over to her table.

“Hey,” I called. “Sorry if I made you wait.”

She looked up and smiled at me. It was a bit

reserved, but the smile was genuine.

“It’s fine, I only just got here myself, and I was

about to text you. Please, sit down.”

She waved a hand at the seat opposite her, and

I took it. The lighting in the bar was a bit dark, and

there was some music on, but not too loud. We

spent a few awkward moments, each waiting for

the other to start but neither knowing what to say.

Before we managed to speak, a waitress came up to

our table.

“Good evening, my name is Mary, and I’ll be

your server tonight. Are you two ready to order?”

I arched an eyebrow at Alessandra, and she

turned to the waitress.

“I’ll just have a coke, please..”

“Then I’ll have the same,” I added.

“Zero, normal, light?”

Alessandra said, “Zero.”

The waitress wrote it down, then walked away.

Once we were left alone again, the silence

returned.

Dammit.

“So, how was your day?” I asked quickly. “I

mean, you stopped by Wendy’s and looked after

my little cousin. I hope he didn’t give you any

trouble?”

“Oh, not at all,” she answered just as quickly.

“He was a total sweetheart. And it was nice getting

to see and talk to Wendy after so long.”

“What did you guys talk about?”

I was latching onto whatever topic that would

keep the conversation going, but the moment I said

it, I knew I’d made a mistake. Alessandra didn’t

reply for a long time, blinking at me. It took a

minute, then I smiled.

“Ah, sorry. I’m prying, aren’t I? It’s none of

my business what you guys talk about. I’m happy

you finally met again, though. She was always

asking me about you, and she wanted you to be

there at the wedding…”

She nodded slowly. “I am sorry I missed it. She

showed me the photos. It looked amazing.”

That could have been us.

The thought jumped into my mind,

unexpectedly. It had been what I felt when I went

to Wendy’s wedding. Alessandra and I had

separated already, and I had wondered then what

our would have been like if I’d asked her to marry

me.

Somewhere along the way, did I make a

mistake?

I could only vaguely remember the shit that

happened before the break-up. We didn’t have a lot

of time with each other, because we were both

dealing with issues. I felt I had more to deal with

than she did, and whenever I thought that I felt

ashamed of myself.

After all, my father was ill, and I was dealing

with the company, and I’d had to work my schedule

to finish college early because of it. Then, there

was Mom’s disapproval of Alessandra. And later

Dad died, and I wanted to see Alessandra so badly

but didn’t think I could.

I held back so much because I thought

everything would be worth it in the end. She would

finish school, and I would get the hang of being the

company CEO, and we would move on with our

lives.

We would be happy.

When did that change?

I wanted to ask. I wanted to ask Alessandra a

lot of things, but whether or not she would answer

was another thing, and I didn’t want to scare her

off. This was only our second meeting, and it was

already a good sign when she had been the one to

ask me out.

Deciding to move on to a different topic, I

opened my mouth. Before I could speak, though,

the noise in the bar suddenly got louder. More and

more people were coming in, and I frowned,

realizing other people were finally coming out of

work and deciding to have a little fun before they

went home.

Alessandra looked sheepish.

“I’m sorry,” she said, raising her voice a bit to

be heard. “I didn’t think it would get this loud. I’ve

never been here around this time, usually a bit

earlier or later and it’s never been this loud!”

I arched an eyebrow and leaned across the

table. She did the same, and I tried not to imagine

how intimate the scene would look to any outsiders.

“Do you come here often?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Just a couple times

recently. You know I don’t drink.”

I nodded, already feeling the relief that this

much about her hadn't changed. It was hitting me

again that we had been apart for fifteen months.

While she hadn't started a new romance, gotten

married and had some other man’s kid, all sorts of

things could have happened within that time that I

had no idea about.

Would it be safe to ask?

I didn’t dare to.

“You can just ignore them. There seems to be a

party or something going on. It’s not always this

rowdy in here.”

I watched as she picked up her bottle, and

lifted my own as I smiled.

“Come on. We came here to have a good time,

right? So let’s get to it!”

Her eyebrows went up, but she clinked her

bottle against mine and matched my smile.

“That’s fine with me,” she said.

She seemed to relax after that, and the

conversation flowed naturally. I didn’t even keep

tabs on what we were talking about, just responded

when she spoke, laughed and reacted in all the right

places. I let the nostalgia flow over me.

There did seem to be some sort of party going

on, a couple of groups of people kept yelling, and

the music got turned up. It made conversation a

little harder, but we each finished our first bottle,

and both of us got a second. We had a nice, low

buzz going, both of us letting go and speaking of

only unnecessary stuff.

We stopped at the second bottle. She needed to

go home, and so did I. I already knew I wouldn’t be

driving. I could hold my liquor well, but there was

no point in taking stupid risks. If I couldn’t get

someone to drive me home so I wouldn’t have to

leave my car behind, then I’d just take a taxi and

come back for it in the morning.

I paid the bill, ignoring Alessandra’s insistence

on paying her share. We stepped out of the bar and

stopped at the curb.

“I hope you don’t plan on driving back,”

Alessandra said. “You came with your car, right?

Sorry, I should have thought that part through. We

could have had a coffee instead or something…”

A smile spread on my face at the thought of

her worrying about me.

“It’s fine. You asked me for a drink at a bar; I

knew what I was getting myself into. And how will

you be getting home?”

“Taxi,” she said, waving vaguely toward the

road.

“Okay,” I said.

I dawdled. I didn’t know what to say, but I

didn’t want just to walk away, either. I knew what I

wanted to say, but inviting Alessandra back to my

place with me might not be the best idea. She stared

back at me, seeming in the same situation as me.

“I missed you,” I blurted out. I couldn’t hold it

back anymore. This much should be safe, right?

Alessandra stared at me for a while longer,

then smiled.

“I feel the same way, too,” she admitted, her

voice quiet. “Joshua, I missed you.”

I dragged in a harsh breath, feeling an ache in

my chest. I so badly wanted to reach out to her and

pull her into my arms. I tried to hold her close and

never let her go. My eyes dropped to her lips, and I

wondered when the last time I kissed her was?

My body went through the motions on its own.

Well, no, not on its own; after all, I very much

wanted to put my arms around her waist and drag

her closer to me, then cup her face with one hand

and tilt her face up for a better angle. Alessandra

didn’t resist. She looked like she wanted exactly

what I did. I lowered my head, slowly, keeping my

eyes on her.

Her eyes slid closed first, and I closed mine as

well as I took her lips in a kiss.

It started out soft, chaste. But that wouldn’t be

enough for me. My arm around her waist

tightening, I pressed harder against her and licked

along the seam of her lips. Alessandra opened for

me with a gasp, and I let out a groan as I slid my

tongue into her mouth to taste her.

Right then, I’d forgotten where we were, right

in front of a bar, on the damn street, in the

darkening night. People were moving all around us,

but I didn’t care.

We broke apart after a long moment,

breathless. I rested my forehead against hers as I

caught my breath.

“That was so sexy,” I said in a low groan.

It had been so long since I’d been this close to

her. My body couldn’t help reacting, and I was

half-hard in my pants, from just a kiss. I was

tempted to ask her to go back with me now.

Before I could, I felt a light pressure against

my chest. Immediately, I froze and opened my

eyes. Alessandra was looking up at me, expression

apologetic. I took a step back.

“I’m sorry,” she said, smiling, though it looked

painful. “I just need some time. Is that okay?”

Time for what, I wanted to ask. We’ve already

had time.

“Is there someone else?” I asked.

She shook her head, and I could feel my heart

start to relax, but then she paused. Her expression

twisted into something strange, and it felt like

something was piercing my chest.

“I…guess you could say there is someone else.

I’m sorry, Joshua, I have to go.”

She turned around and walked away. I wanted

to reach my hand out to stop her, but her words

were still ringing in my mind.

Someone else?

Who was this person, and what did he have to

do with Alessandra? From that kiss alone, I knew

she felt the same way that I did.

Who is this new, unexpected threat?

I wanted to know, badly. I intended to find out.

Chapter Six

Alessandra

As usual, I was at home. I had an online job

that kept me busy since I took a break from school.

It was a bit of a juggle between that and taking care

of a baby, but at least I got all the time I wanted

with my son.

That would change once I got back to school,

but I was still in the planning phase for it. I planned

to go back to school the next semester and talk to

my professors. I’d known to take academic leave

instead of just walking away, so they expected me

to be back at some point.

The job wasn’t too demanding. It was just a lot

of writing and the time for it was flexible enough. I

was in the middle of completing another job when I

heard a wail and immediately got up.

“I’m coming, baby!”

I hurried back to my room. I worked on the

dining table because it was more comfortable that

way and I wouldn’t have to risk my backlighting up

in pain. I’d made that mistake right after high

school.

It wasn’t the best place to try to hold Danny

and work at the same time, but I went to sit with

Danny anyway, and slowly typed with one hand as

I soothingly rocked him.

Then, my phone vibrated.

“Now who could that be?”

I glanced at my son, who had his fist in his

mouth and was drooling on it, looking content. I

picked the phone up and checked, then smiled.

It was a text from Joshua.

Hey, pretty lady. Hope you’re having a

beautiful day?

I grinned to myself.

“Your daddy is such a romantic, you know?” I

murmured, slowly typing out a reply.

It had been a few days since I first showed up

at Wendy’s house. Though I was supposed to be

there to look after her baby while she went off and

did something for herself, in the end, she didn’t go.

Instead, we’d stayed and talked for hours.

She had left me with a lot to think about, and

by the time I got home, my mind had been decided.

I wasn’t going to do anything rash, though. It

wasn’t until after a few more hours of thinking to

myself that I decided to call him and ask him out.

I still loved Joshua; there was no way I could

deny that. Whether or not we would work out,

though, was yet to be seen, and I didn’t intend to

just jump back into a relationship with him when

our previous problems hadn't been brought to the

table, let alone talking things through. I wasn’t even

sure if he’d figured out what the problem had been

in the first place.

Too much thinking dampened my mood. I was

starting to second guess myself if I had made the

right decision to reach out for him instead of

continuing to ignore him. Danny in my arm fussed,

and I rocked him gently, then went back to typing

out my reply. I wasn’t only doing this for myself,

after all. My baby would need his father.

We could talk later. I intended to take things

slow. Whether or not I thought there could be a

future for us together, I would have to decide then.

Maybe I should just tell him about Danny?

I did feel a little guilty about that. I was still

worried about his mom, but I had already denied

him something important. When I’d gone into labor,

I nearly called him, but then Mom took me to the

hospital, and with all the pain, I forgot about it.

Even after Danny’s birth, I thought about it.

Would he hate me for not telling him? I would

have to find that out sooner because our child had

to come before our relationship.

My phone vibrated, startling me a little. I was

open on the chat thread, and his new message

showed up.

Alessandra? Is something wrong?

I winced, then edited the reply I’d started and

sent it.

Sorry! You caught me on the job!

“Crap,” I muttered. Then, I remembered and

looked down at my son, who looked at me with his

innocent blue eyes, and I groaned. “Sorry about

that, baby. Mom’s not acting like herself, right?

Don’t pay attention to me right now. A lot of

women go through times like these.”

He let out a muffled gurgle from behind his

wet fist. I wiped at the drool, making him squirm a

little before I rocked him a little again and he

quieted down. He was a well-behaved child. There

were times when he woke me up in the middle of

the night, demanding to be fed, so it was quite

convenient his crib was in my room, but as long as I

met his needs, he didn’t cry much.

The phone vibrated again, and my eyebrows

shot up at Joshua’ new message.

I hope Danny’s not giving you trouble?

Could he somehow read my mind? I was just

thinking about it!

Of course not! He’s always so well-behaved,

he just had his nap and woke up alone, so I had to

get him.

I groaned to myself again. Now that I’d given

the lie, I had to keep it up, but it would only make

things more complicated when it came time to tell

him the truth. Joshua was going to be mad at me.

Maybe he would be surprised at first, but I would

be surprised if there wasn’t some lingering

resentment later on.

That’s good, he replied. So are you free to chat

right now?

I bit down on my lip. I could technically do

both, but then I’d be pushing work to the side. I

glanced at my computer, then decided work could

wait until later when Danny was asleep. Texting

was a lot easier than typing if I had to do it with

one hand.

Even though you’re the boss, shouldn’t you be

in the middle of work?

I didn’t know much about the nature of his

work as CEO. Honestly, it was a little daunting

dating someone with such a background, so before,

I had done as little as possible to mingle with that

side of his life. His mom disliking me hadn't helped

the situation.

It had taken some time, but I realized that had

been a mistake on my part. Meeting his parents and

learning of his mom’s disapproval had been a blow

to me, but ignoring one side of his life that didn’t sit

well with me was the same as not accepting all of

him, as I should have done. If I hadn't realized that

in time, I might not have made that call a few days

ago.

This was me trying to give our relationship a

fair chance. While it didn’t seem like it, I knew

Joshua had made compromises for me, and I

couldn’t remember doing the same for him.

It just really annoyed me, though, that the one

time he needed me there to comfort him after his

dad died, and the one that was there for him

instead, was Rachel.

That damn woman.

Rachel was everything I was not. A young

woman from a background that better matched

Joshua’ family, and she had his mom’s approval as

well. She didn’t even try to be subtle about

preferring Rachel as Joshua’ partner over me.

I was distracted again by my phone.

I’d instead think of more important things, he

wrote. Another chat bubble appeared. Like when I

get to see you again.

My heart stuttered in my chest, then started

beating a little faster. I had figured he would, but I

was still pleased to know he wanted to meet me

again.

Let me know what your schedule is like, and

I’ll double-check with mine.

I grinned. I was only teasing, but whether or

not he would get it…

A minute later, his reply came in.

Better yet, give me a time and place, and I’ll

be there.

My eyebrows shot up. What if I pick a wrong

time?

I’ll make time for you. Tell me when.

I chewed lightly on my lower lip. That last bit

was almost a command, and I was wondering

whether to go along with it or not.

Since I was mostly free, other than taking care

of Danny, I had free time to do whatever I pleased.

In fact, I had too much free time. My random walks

with Danny out to the park was one of the few

activities I regularly did that took me outside. There

just wasn’t much reason for me to be outside if it

didn’t have to do with school since I was very

focused on my future.

Now, Joshua was another aspect of that future

that I wanted to fit back into my life.

Maybe I shouldn’t… I wrote.

It was half tease, but the other half of it was

me worrying. I had made my decision, and I was

the kind of woman that, once I decided on

something, it wouldn’t be easy to make me turn

back. There would always be that worry, though,

whether I was doing the right thing or not.

I don’t have anything urgent coming up, and it

doesn’t have to be during a weekday, anyway.

Don’t you have your job as a nanny?

I winced. Somehow, I’d forgotten about all of

that little lie. And now, since he’d told Wendy

about me being a nanny, as far as he knew, I’d be

spending some time two days every week at

Wendy’s to babysit when I wasn’t with my other

employer’s child.

You’re right. I’m busy all week. Unlike you, it

seems.

It’s not like I’m slacking off, was the

immediate, defensive reply. I don’t have anything

urgent, and I can delegate just fine. But that’s not

what we’re talking about here.

Then what, I wrote.

Alessandra. I want to see you again. If you

could wear a dress like the one from last time, I

don’t care what we do or where we go. I’ll warn

you right now, though. If I see you, I might not hold

back from kissing you again.

I gasped at that. Once he mentioned it, my

mind went back to that night, and I relieved the

sensations of our kiss.

It had been a little embarrassing when I found

the time to think about it. Since we had been right

on the street, making out like horny teenagers

where everyone could see. People probably had to

walk around us because we were obstructing the

way, too. Lucky for me, no one I knew ever went

to that place, or the news would have somehow

made it back to my parents.

For obvious reasons, the moment I found out I

was pregnant, I stopped drinking, though I didn’t do

much of it, to begin with. Then throughout the

pregnancy, birth, and the first few months of my

son’s life, I never thought to drink at home.

Besides, my parents weren’t precisely drinkers

either, so aside from a few bottles of wine, there

was no alcohol in the house. But, even if it wasn’t

anyone I knew, strangers seeing that still made me

feel a little embarrassed.

Still, it had been hot. When he kissed me, I

wanted to drag him home with me. Not to introduce

him to his son, but to pull him to my bedroom so I

could toss him to the bed and ride him. I could

remember the last time we were together before the

break-up. I was stressed back then, too, between

exams, Joshua’ mom, and Rachel. When we both

managed to find free time for each other, we stayed

inside for a whole twenty-four hours, barely leaving

the bed.

I wouldn’t mind revisiting those memories, but

I had to keep clearheaded. I was pretty good at

controlling my impulses when I put my mind to it.

My phone vibrated with more texts.

Well? Are you interested? Because you have to

know that I am.

My heart wavered. We could meet, but it

didn’t necessarily have to lead to anything, right?

I’d already asked him for some time. He hadn't

outright said it was okay, but I knew he wouldn’t

bother contacting me if he no longer wanted

anything to do with me. And of course, because I

liked complicating my own life, I’d told him there

was someone else without clarifying that I wasn’t

interested in another man. Not another grown-up

man, anyway.

I’m busy on weekends too, you know?

Just one day, he coaxed. It doesn’t even have

to be the whole day; even an hour is excellent. If

the weekend is more convenient for you, then I’ll

go along with whatever works for you.

I wanted to go and meet him again. The desire

hit me hard, and I was typing out my response

before I could think too much about it.

Sure! I can meet you on Saturday, but you’ll

have to be responsible for whatever it is we’re

going to do, okay?

Definitely! I’ll see you Saturday.

After his parting texts, he probably went back

to work. I put my phone down and tried to juggle

Danny and work again, but my mind was too

distracted for me to do both at the same time. So I

dropped work, and went to play with my baby

instead, already feeling excited for Saturday.

Chapter Seven

Joshua

I woke up early on Saturday. I was too excited,

like a teenager going on his first date with his long-

time crush. I’d make fun of myself for the over-

eagerness if it didn’t remind me so much of our

actual first date back in high school.

Of course, a lot has changed now.

Back then, we were only kids. The best we

could do for a date was going out to a movie, then

to a café afterward, and out for a walk, before we

both had to go our separate ways. We started dating

before I could drive, so at the end of our first date,

we had to get picked up by our parents. Though

technically, she was picked up by her dad, while I

was picked up by one of the family’s drivers.

Everything had changed since then.

Well, not everything.

My feelings for her certainly hadn't changed.

Since I was so damn early to wake up, I killed

some time. I took a long shower, then I made

myself breakfast and ate. There was still plenty of

time, so I went to find my phone. I didn’t need to, I

had a perfectly good memory, but I had everything

I wanted to do today in my phone, just in case.

I had the perfect date planned. One guaranteed

to get me the results I wanted, and what I wanted

was for Alessandra to give our relationship, and me,

another chance.

Whoever this new person is in her life doesn’t

matter. As long as she loves me, it’s fine.

I thought that, but I was still incredibly

anxious. I didn’t know who this person was.

Finding out would be a piece of cake, but then I’d

have to invade Alessandra’s privacy, and I knew

she would hate me for that. It was the one reason

that had held me back from hiring a private

investigator to find her for me before.

Luckily, I didn’t, and we met by coincidence,

anyway.

“She should be awake now,” I murmured to

myself after some time.

We hadn't specified when we’d be meeting

today, but I planned to take her out early and let

her go back home late. If I could, I’d just get her to

come back with me, but that would depend on how

the day went.

A couple of hours had passed since I woke up,

and I decided to send her a message to let her know

we’d be starting early. Sometimes, I did work at the

office on weekends, but I’d finished anything

important yesterday, and I didn’t need to go in until

Monday, so I could enjoy the weekend thoroughly.

Minutes after texting her good morning, my

phone vibrated with a reply.

I’m up! When are we headed out?

I grinned to myself and replied.

How about eleven? No need to bring anything.

Dress semi-formal, warm.

I didn’t have to wait long before she sent her

okay.

I had showered already but put on comfortable

clothes. I headed back to my room to get changed

and dressed for our date. I wanted her to be dressed

warm and semi-formal for tonight, but I couldn’t go

out with a full suit. The day was friendly enough,

and I’d look ridiculous considering the places I

wanted us to go.

As a compromise, I pulled on a light blue shirt

that Wendy had told me complimented my eyes

well, and a pair of dark slacks. I picked a dark blue

blazer and pulled it on, then went to check myself

out in the mirror. I left the top buttons of the shirt

undone.

Dressed, I went to find socks and shoes. I still

had time, but I was too eager to keep waiting. Then

something occurred to me, and I picked up my

phone and fired off a text.

Text me the address, I wrote.

Alessandra and I knew a lot about each other,

I’d even met her parents before, but I had never

been to her new house. I never questioned it back,

because it was her business, but I regretted not

asking when she walked out on me.

I’ll meet you, she replied.

I frowned. It wasn’t the response I wanted, but

maybe she didn’t want me to meet her parents.

Since she never spoke to me since we parted ways,

I had no idea how her parents had taken the whole

situation, though I could guess it wasn’t happy.

All right. Let’s meet in an hour.

I specified the where, and after a short back

and forth, we decided. I went around the room and

wasted a bit of time. I tried to style my hair instead

of just pushing it back like I always did, but gave up

on that quickly. I checked my watch collection and

picked one to wear.

With nothing else to do, I decided to leave the

house. I might as well drive around before I arrived

at our meeting spot, and I did just that. The roads

were fairly empty, so there wasn’t even traffic to

distract me. Every few minutes, I’d keep checking

the time and wonder why it didn’t seem to be

moving.

Finally, ten minutes to our meet time, I headed

for the agreed spot. We were meeting at the park,

not far from the place where we met again just a

few weeks ago. I parked the car, then waited.

I didn’t see her around, so I must have been

the first to arrive. I sent her a text to let her know

where I was. Not long after, there was a knock on

my window that startled me, and when I looked

outside, there she was, smiling at me and waving

through the glass. Quickly, I opened the door.

“You came?”

She arched an eyebrow. “You say that like you

didn’t expect me to show up at all.”

“No, no,” I said quickly. “You don’t play

games like that. Should we go?”

“Lead the way.”

This park was the only one in town; it was also

really big. Our high school had been around the

area, but when Alessandra went to college, the

school she chose was a little far from home. I had

moved with her because it didn’t matter much to

me where I went. I’d be doing extracurricular

studies meant to prepare me to take on the

company, anyway.

I knew the area very well. It was just that the

town was big, or Alessandra and I would have met

again a lot earlier. But we were both familiar with

the area because we had our first date not too far

from the park. I only drove for a few minutes,

before we arrived at the same café years ago.

“Do you remember this place?” I asked,

glancing at her.

Alessandra was smiling, expression nostalgic.

“Of course I remember, how could I forget?

We came here so many times while we were in high

school for dates. I missed it when I had to move

away for school.”

I stepped out of the car, and she followed suit.

It was warm, but I had plans for later, so I shrugged

off my blazer and folded it over my arm. As we

walked toward the doors of the café, I finally got a

good look at Alessandra. I’d been too dazed before,

believing she would arrive for the date, but still

surprised and elated when she did.

She had on a plain black dress that molded to

her upper body with short sleeves and a flaring

skirt. She was wearing short, black heels, and she

carried a dark blue jacket with her. I smiled to

myself, thinking we matched in this one thing, at

least. Her hair was styled simply, with a bit of a curl

and left to fall around her shoulders. Tiny earrings

were dangling from her ears.

I didn’t realize I’d slowed down until she

turned her head to look at me. She was smiling

happily and held a hand out to beckon me closer.

“Let’s go inside; I’m a little hungry.”

My heart felt like it would stop one moment. In

the next, I stepped forward and followed her inside.

At this time on a Saturday, the place was fairly

crowded, almost half full, but Alessandra found us

a table. It wasn’t near the large window, like

before, but I didn’t miss her eyes going in that

direction.

“What will you be having?” I asked.

The table had two menus. I picked one up and

handed it to her, then took the other for myself. We

chatted lightly about what looked good, and by the

time a waitress showed up at our table, we both had

our orders. She quickly went away, leaving us

alone.

“This place hasn’t changed much,” Alessandra

murmured after a bit. “I think they remodeled a

little inside, but it’s almost exactly as I remember.

Except there are more tables now.”

I nodded, looking around. “I stopped by here a

few times since college. The owner is still the same,

but everyone else changed. It has been nearly five

years since you were last here, it’s no surprise some

things changed.”

“But the atmosphere still feels the same,” she

said.

Our eyes met for a moment, before the

waitress coming back distracted us both. But in her

gaze, I had seen what I wanted. Alessandra hadn't

forgotten our relationship any more than I had. We

were going to take a walk down memory lane

today, so I could remind her of everything we had

together, everything we were to each other before

the breakup. Then, I had a nice surprise for tonight

that would show her our future.

“That order came quickly,” Alessandra said

with a chuckle. “Before, it would take ages. Like

twenty minutes, at least.”

I pointed toward the counter. “They upgraded

equipment above everything else, and they’ve

likely got more people now. If the service was as

slow as before, they’d lose quite a few people. A

different café opened up not too far from here,

which might be part of why they changed things

up.”

Alessandra laughed. “No, that can't be it. I

swear the old servers were just lazy. Remember that

one guy…?”

Conversation flowed between us as we

reminisced about the past. After eating, we made

our way out. It was still fairly early when we left,

but there was plenty to do. We ignored the car and

walked around, as we had all those years ago. The

area had changed quite a bit, of course, and we had

fun walking around. We went to a few stores, but

we didn’t buy much. As evening drew in, I took us

to a restaurant nearby.

I sent a quick message while we were eating.

An hour later, we stepped out of the restaurant and

stopped at the curb. There was a light breeze, but

the day had gotten colder, and we were both in our

jackets.

“Dinner was surprisingly early,” Alessandra

said. “It can't be that you want to get rid of me

early, right?”

“Of course, not. Dinner was early because I

have one last surprise for you.” I checked my

watch. “I think we’ll make it just in time.”

She glanced around, then frown at me,

confused. “Are we not walking back to the car,

then?”

I chuckled. “I had someone pick it up for me.

We’re waiting for a different ride.”

She eyed me suspiciously. “All right.”

We didn’t have to wait long before the vehicle

arrived. It was growing dark out, and a few people

were passing the curb beside us. I heard gasps as

the limo pulled up in front of us, and glanced down.

Alessandra was staring with wide-eyed surprise.

“This way, my lady,” I teased.

I stepped forward and tugged the door open.

The driver had stepped out but didn’t try to

interfere. Alessandra glanced at me; then at hand, I

held out for her. She took it and allowed me to help

her into the limo, then I followed her inside. I didn’t

release her hand, kissing the back of it, and holding

it against my thigh as the car started to move.

“I hope you like the last surprise for tonight,” I

murmured.

Alessandra just looked at me but didn’t say a

thing. I could see the anticipation in her face,

though.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived. I waited until

the door was opened for us, then stepped onto the

curb and helped her out. She stared at the building

in front of us.

“What are we doing here?” she asked.

I held my arm out to her, and she wrapped hers

around it. I led us inside.

“This is an opera house,” I explained. “I still

remember what you like. They have a nice show on

tonight, and I thought it would be something you’d

love.”

I had booked us a private room, and after

showing my tickets at the booth, an attendant was

called to show us the way.

The entire show, my eyes were more on

Alessandra than what was going on down at the

stage. I watched, as her expression changed from

curiosity to pleasant surprise, to excitement. I

smiled as I lost myself in watching her, occasionally

glancing at the stage when I heard clapping from

the crowd. But whatever was going on down there

wasn’t nearly as interesting as she was.

When we left, Alessandra was practically

bouncing in excitement.

I laughed. “I’m going to take a guess and say

that you like it.”

“Are you kidding?” she gasped. “I loved it! It

kind of reminds me of drama club back in high

school, only so much better.”

I held her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

She met my gaze and seemed to freeze as she

realized what she’d just said and came up with her

implications. I just smiled and tugged her over to

the limo. I let us inside, and the car started moving.

“To be honest with you, I don’t want to let you

go home yet.”

“Oh?” Her eyebrow shot up. “And what

exactly is it that you want to do to me, hmm?”

“Are you sure you want to know?” I asked, my

voice a little darker.

This was one of the things that changed from

all those years ago. I didn’t even dare to kiss her on

our first date, but my thoughts for the whole day

hadn't been quite as innocent as back then. She was

dressed well, the dress had a sensible neckline and

fell to her knees. But Alessandra looked so sexy; I

knew keeping my hands off her was impossible.

I had contented myself with holding her hand,

but as our gazes met and maintained, the

atmosphere between us changed. Slowly, I leaned

forward. Alessandra closed her eyes, and I took it

as her agreement.

Our lips met, and I tested the waters. I slid my

lips softly against hers, and she sighed into my

mouth, her hands coming up to clutch at my coat. I

nibbled lightly on her lower lip, and she opened her

mouth for me. With a growl, I deepened the kiss,

and wrapped an arm around her back, tugging her

body closer to mine.

I didn’t pull away until we both needed to

breathe. After a moment of catching our breath, I

cursed and released her.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, breathing

heavily.

I frowned at her. “Alessandra, if you don’t tell

me right now to take you home, I don't want to

stop. You have to tell me if this is something you

want.”

She didn’t give an immediate answer,

hesitating. It broke my heart a little because while it

wasn’t a no, it was a sign that she was wavering.

Carefully, I reached my hands out and cupped

her cheeks, turning in the seat so I could face her

properly.

“Alessandra,” I murmured, my eyes searching

her expression in the limo’s dim light. “I… I want

you. I always have, and that’s something that will

never change. Do you feel the same way?”

Want you weren’t the words I wanted to say,

but it was too soon.

Alessandra watched me for a long moment,

and I saw something shift in her eyes when she held

my hands with hers, pulling them away from her

face. She leaned forward, holding my gaze to the

last moment, then pressed her lips to mine in a

gentle kiss.

“Joshua,” she whispered, and I shuddered. “I

want you.”

I groaned. The words went down to my cock.

We’d barely done anything, and I was half hard

from a kiss and some words that were nice to hear.

Alessandra didn’t wait for me to take the

initiative, wrapping her arms around my neck as

she kissed me again. Her body pressed against

mine, and I wrapped my arms tightly around her as

the passion built between us.

I’d given the driver instructions to drive us

around until I gave him directions, either to take

Alessandra home or drop her off at a place of her

choosing. So, as long as I said nothing, he’d drive

around in circles.

Right then, I didn’t mind driving around in

circles for the rest of the night. The driver wouldn’t

care, either. He was under my family’s

employment, and I was giving him a huge bonus for

helping me out tonight, and keep the information

from my mom.

I felt Alessandra’s hands push against my

blazer, and I shrugged it off. Then, I reached

around to her back, catching her zipper and tugging

it down. She pulled away from me to gasp for

breath, but I couldn’t stop kissing her. My lips

moved all over her face, then down to lick and nip

at her neck.

“Fuck, Alessandra,” I moaned against her skin.

She chuckled, though it broke off in a gasp

when I took her skin between my teeth and sucked.

“I was kinda hoping that’s where this is going,”

she teased, sounding breathless.

I froze for a sec, then bit down a little harder

on her skin. She moaned, and I released her before

I could leave a mark that wouldn’t fade for a while.

She was staying with her parents, after all, and I

didn’t want to make things awkward for her.

“It’s definitely what I intend to do,” I said in a

promise. I met her gaze, and deliberately asked,

“Alessandra, do you want me?”

She grinned. “I want you to fuck me, Joshua.”

I let out a breath and dropped my forehead to

her collarbone. I was aching in my slacks, and if I

wasn’t careful, I’d get myself dirty. Not that it

mattered since I lived alone. Still, it would be

embarrassing to come so quickly.

Once I got ahold of myself, I pulled away, just

far enough to ease the top of Alessandra’s dress

down to reveal her shoulders and the upper part of

her chest. I pressed a kiss and a light nibble to her

collarbone and felt her body tremble in my arms.

I grinned up at her. “With pleasure, my lady.”

“With so much fucking pleasure!”

Chapter Eight

Alessandra

I let out a strangled moan, my back arching.

One of my hands was pressed against the roof of

the limo, the other over Joshua’s shoulder, against

the seat.

His hands weren’t idle either. One of them

gripped high up on my thigh underneath my dress,

his thumb rubbing the inside of my leg, making me

tremble. If I shifted just a little forward, I would

feel his touch where I was dying to feel it most. His

other hand was pressed against my back, helping

keep me steady.

“Alessandra,” he sighed against my skin.

“Would you come home with me?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but all I could

manage was some more gasping.

The top of my dress had been pulled down and

off my shoulders. I still had my bra on, but Joshua

had tugged the cups underneath my breasts, perking

them up. He gently ran his tongue over one nipple,

then the other, over and over, teasing.

I’d almost forgotten how good this all felt.

“Do you even have to ask?” I panted out,

squirming in his lap.

He hummed. “It wouldn’t be nice to make

assumptions. And I just want to hear you say it.

Alessandra, say you want me to take you home

with me.”

It sounded like he was commanding me, but he

didn’t give me time to say the words. I wasn’t sure

if I would have told them, but I was growing more

and more tempted to say yes, to everything.

What the fuck am I even doing?

There was a quiet voice of reason in the back

of my mind that was wondering why I was letting

Joshua strip me in the back of a limo so we could

have sex. There was a partition between the front

seat and the end, and she’d asked before they got

this far, and he had reassured her that the limo was

soundproofed. The driver wouldn’t hear us.

Still, this wasn’t something I ever thought I’d

be doing. It certainly hadn't occurred to me when I

left home this morning, though, in all fairness, I

hadn't known what to expect.

Joshua wrapped his lips around one nipple and

sucked on it gently. I let out a whine as my whole

body trembled. Then, I froze.

Shit.

He sucked a little harder, and it sent

pleasurable tingles through my body. My clit

throbbed with need, and I wanted to rub against

him, knowing I could feel a lot better. But

something else had occurred to me, and I wrapped

one of my hands in his hair to tug him away.

If he sucks, even more, he’ll taste the milk.

For a moment, I forgot I was still a new mom.

Milk would be coming out of my breasts for at least

two years, as long as I kept breastfeeding, and I

intended to.

Joshua wasn’t stupid. He would notice if

something came out of my breasts, and it wouldn’t

be difficult for him to connect the dots.

“Wait,” I said, breathless, with a touch of

desperation. “Joshua, can you stop a little?”

The moment I said ‘stop,’ he did. He looked up

at me, his expression a mix of confusion and desire.

I’m sorry, Joshua, I apologized to my mind.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, sliding his tongue

over his lip.

He was frowning, and I sighed as I moved

away from him. I fixed my bra but didn’t push to

put my dress to rights just yet.

This was a mistake.

I should have realized it the moment he asked

me for a date. There were so many ways I could

give away the secret, even unintentionally. If it

hadn't occurred to me, I really would have let him

do whatever he wanted to me. I only remembered

because I was incredibly self-conscious about the

lie.

“I think… I need to go home,” I said.

I couldn’t look at him. I felt so sorry, and a

little ashamed of myself. I didn’t have to see his

face to know he’d be disappointed. He had stopped

already to ask if I was sure this was what I’d

wanted, and I had said yes without thinking much

about it, but I was regretting it now.

“I’m sorry,” I said when he didn’t say anything

for a long time. “I just think it would be best if we

ended the night here. Joshua, I’d like to go home

now.”

He let out a noisy breath, and I bit down on my

lip so I wouldn’t apologize again.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to stop, I

told myself.

I knew that, but it still didn’t sit well with me,

because the only thing holding me back was that

stupid lie. He had been the one to bring it up, but I

shouldn’t have gone along with it. If I wanted to

avoid awkwardness between us, the thing I should

have done was turn around and walk away, fast,

before he noticed me back at the park that day.

If I’d done that, though, today wouldn’t have

happened.

Fuck. It hadn't been long, and already I was

starting to get greedy. If I didn’t have a child to

think about, being honest with myself, falling back

into a relationship with Joshua would have been

very easy.

I just couldn’t do it.

“Alessandra, do you hate being with me?” he

asked, blunt.

I whirled around to him with wide eyes, then

quickly shook my head.

“No! Why would you even think that? I wasn’t

pretending to have fun with you the whole day.”

He was still frowning at me. “I noticed that. I

also noticed how you were into what we were

doing just now, but out of nowhere, you changed

your mind. Did something happen?”

I opened my mouth, only to pause. Just saying

I changed my mind last minute wasn’t nice, and

that was not it.

“I just really need to go home,” I murmured

after a minute. “My parents were expecting me;

they’ll be worried if I don’t show up…”

“You’re a grown woman, not a teenager. I’m

sure if you told them you’d like to get back really

late, or better yet, spend the night out, would they

say no to you?”

Slowly, I shook my head. They’d ask

questions, but they wouldn’t pry. I was a mom

already, so it wasn’t as if they thought I was still

innocent. I hadn't specified who I was going out

with for the day, but by the look, Mom shot me

when I walked out of the door this morning, she

might have started suspecting me.

Joshua sighed, then took one of my hands. His

eyes were intent on mine, making me freeze with

their intensity.

“Alessandra,” he said carefully. “I want to take

you home with me. I won’t do anything you don’t

want me to do. If you tell me again you’d rather go

home; I’ll take you there right now. Or I’ll drop you

off somewhere, and you can get there on your

own.”

I wanted to tell him to drop me off. Now was

the worst time for him to find out where I lived.

Drop me now.

That was what I intended to say, but instead, I

said something honest.

“I want to be with you.”

Joshua’ whole body seemed to relax. His lips

curved into a small smile, and he squeezed my

hand.

“Good,” he said.

He leaned forward, and I tensed a little, but he

only pecked my cheek before letting go of my

hand. He took his phone out of his pocket, typed

something on it, and then put it away.

“Do you mind fixing your clothes now?” he

asked, eyes dropping to my chest. “It’s a little

distracting.”

“Oh.”

My cheeks warmed a little. I fixed my dress

up, and when he held his hand out, I turned so he

could zip up the back for me. Then, I picked up my

coat from where it had fallen to the floor of the car.

“We’ll be at my place soon,” he said.

Then, he sat back, and I sat forward, though

there was nothing to see but the pitch black

partition. I looked down, and his leg was bouncing

lightly in impatience.

He probably wanted to get back quickly.

I sat silently, biting softly at my lip. I had told

him the truth, but I was still hesitant. Wouldn’t he

find it odd if I told him not to suck on my breasts

again? He could get suspicious, especially since I

used to love it when he did it before absolutely.

My thoughts kept tumbling over each other,

and before I knew it, the limo had stopped.

“Alessandra? We’re here.”

I turned to Joshua, who already had his door

open. Seeing that he had my attention, he held his

hand out to me, and I placed my hand in his. He

helped me out of the car. The driver waited just

outside, and he and Joshua shared a nod, then

Joshua led me to the building. I didn’t have much

time to look at it on the outside, besides noting that

it was big. Joshua dragged me behind him at a

higher than average pace, not fast, but with his long

legs, I had to hurry a little to catch up.

We walked into the elevator, and he went still.

He didn’t even look at me, but his hand was a bit

tight around mine. He pressed the button for the

highest floor.

Of course, he lives in the penthouse, I thought.

The ride took about a minute, and my heart

beat uncontrollably in my chest the entire time.

There was a short hall, with one side made of glass

looking out to the city, and a single door some feet

ahead of us. He had his key out by the time we

made it to the door. There was a keypad where he

entered a code before unlocking the door, and let us

inside.

Then without turning the lights on, he led me

inside, up against a short set of stairs. He knew the

layout of his house well. On the second floor, he

opened a door and finally turned on a light. I just

barely caught sight of the bed in the room, before

he tugged me inside, closed the door behind us, and

whirled me around to press me against it.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” I asked,

feeling a little breathless.

Joshua ducked his head and pressed a kiss to

the base of my neck.

“I don’t want to give you time to change your

mind again,” he admitted. “I thought my heart

would stop before, thinking you were lying about

wanting me. Alessandra…”

I had an idea what he wanted to say, and I rose

up on tiptoes to press my lips against his and stop

him. If he told me he still loved me right then, I

would give in. The kiss was chaste and short; then I

pushed against his chest.

His body tensed, but he moved back. His

expression was careful.

“I’m not leaving,” I said comfortingly, patting

his chest. “I wouldn’t have gotten out of the limo if

I didn’t want to be here. But can I have a minute?”

He nodded and took a couple steps back. “Do

you need to use the bathroom?”

I nodded.

“The ensuite is over there.”

He pointed to the second door in the room. I

looked around, then set my purse down on the

nightstand. I walked quickly over to the bathroom,

found the light switch, and closed the door behind

me.

I didn’t need to use the bathroom. I just

needed time to calm myself down and be sure this

was what I wanted. Joshua wouldn’t be annoyed

with me if I still said no. He would be disappointed,

but he wouldn’t hold it against me. I moved to the

sink and washed my hands, then took several deep

breaths.

When I was sure, I stepped out.

Joshua was sitting on the bed. He had shed his

blazer, and he was leaning forward with his elbows

resting on his knees. When I closed the door to the

bathroom, he looked up. Then, he sat up and leaned

back with his hands on the bed, keeping his eyes on

me.

I figured he was waiting for me to make the

next move.

“Just a little bit more,” I murmured.

When I left home this morning, I hadn't

specified to Mom whether I would be going back

home tonight or not, which at least meant that I had

been looking forward to something like this. I

moved over to the nightstand and pulled my phone

from my purse to send a quick text home to let

them know I wouldn’t be back and to look after

Danny.

Then, I set my phone on the nightstand and

turned back to Joshua.

He arched an eyebrow when he noticed me

watching him, and bent his eyebrows.

“Are you ready now?”

“Yeah,” I whispered.

I moved slowly over to him. I hesitated, before

kicking off my shoes. I held onto his shoulders as I

climbed to straddle his lap.

“I’m all yours now,” I said. “Just…can you not

touch my chest too much? I’m a little sensitive.”

His eyebrows went up curiously. My heart

thudded in my chest, but he didn’t say anything. I

felt his hands slide over my waist, and I sighed.

“It’s fine with me,” he murmured, eyes

dropping to my lips.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed

the space between us to kiss him. Joshua nibbled at

my lips, and I parted my mouth, licking at his

mouth until he let me in.

His hands roamed all over my back, sliding up

to my shoulder blades, then down until his palms

cupped my ass cheeks, then back up. His fingers

caught the zipper of my dress and tugged it down. I

didn’t want to pull away, but the urgency from

before in the limo was quickly building inside me. I

moved away, just long enough to lift the dress off

me and tossed it over my shoulder.

Joshua looked at my body, and I sat back on

his thighs to let him. I chewed on my lip, wondering

if I had changed a lot. My body had been pretty big

six months ago before I gave birth, and I’d been

doing a lot of exercises to get back the body I used

to have. A lot of the extra weight from the

pregnancy dropped easily, though I was always a

little self-conscious about my lower stomach area.

He didn’t seem to find anything wrong, though.

“Beautiful,” he murmured. His hands were on

my waist, then rose up, so his thumbs just touched

the underside of my bra. “I did miss seeing you,

Alessandra.”

“I missed you, too,” I admitted.

He smiled. Then, with his hands, he tugged the

straps of my bra down. I pushed down the anxiety

and let him unhook my bra, then I slid it off and

sent it the way of my dress. His hands back on my

waist, he stared, right at my breasts. When he

leaned forward, I held my breath, but he only

kissed the top of each breast before pulling away.

“Hold onto me,” he commanded.

I did as he asked, holding on tightly. He rose

up, and I wrapped my legs around his hips. He

turned us around, then crawled up onto the bed on

his knees, and carefully laid us down, with him on

top of me.

“I’m going to fuck you, Alessandra. Is that

okay?”

I flicked him on the shoulder. “You don’t have

to ask about every little thing.”

Still, I was smiling, happy with my decision to

stay.

Joshua pulled back and slowly started to

undress. I watched as he undid the buttons of his

shirt and slipped it off. Then, his hands moved to

his belt, his fly. The breath caught in my throat as

he slowly revealed himself, eyes dropping to his

erection once he had his pants off. I tingled a little

between my legs. Feeling my mouth water, I leaned

forward and wrapped my hand around his length.

He groaned. “If you do that, I’m going to

come. I haven’t done this in a long while.”

I sent him a challenging glance. “Neither have

I.”

He tugged my hand off him, then caught me by

the hips. I raised my legs as he eased my panties off

me. I stayed lying on my back with him kneeling

between my legs, looking at me.

“Don’t just keep staring,” I said defensively.

I was fighting with myself not to cover myself

with my hands. I knew I looked okay, after all the

exercising I did just to keep my body and health up.

Besides, this was Joshua. The one person I

knew I never had to be conscious about since a

long time ago.

After looking his fill, he wrapped his hands on

the underside of my thighs. He moved even closer,

easing his knees to either side of my ass, then

letting my legs rest on his. My body shivered in

anticipation. He held his cock to position himself as

my entrance, and I squirmed a little just feeling it.

Then, he pushed his hips forward and thrust his

cock inside me.

“Joshua,” I gasped.

My back arched, feeling him come inside of

me for the first time in so long. He slid all the way

inside, his expression strained. Once he was all the

way in, he held still. Then, he lowered his upper

body over me, bracing his torso with his forearms

on either side of my head.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded eagerly. I wrapped my legs around his

hips, causing his cock to shift inside me. I gasped,

and he groaned.

“Please,” I panted, feeling desperation rise.

“Move, Joshua. I want you to fuck me. Move.”

He groaned again, and did just that, pulling his

hips back, and thrusting back in, slowly. My hands

rose, and I gripped at his back, my nails digging into

his skin a little. His thrusts came a little faster, and I

tried to move and rock my hips against his, wanting

him deeper.

“Harder,” I gasped out. “Faster, please.”

“Alessandra,” he growled my name.

He wrapped one arm around my waist, holding

me closer, then gave me what I wanted. I let out a

cry as he pulled out, almost all the way, before

slamming his cock into me. He didn’t stop, fucking

me fast and hard into the mattress. I dug my nails

into his back, my body rocking with every thrust.

My gasping and his light groans were almost

covered by the sound of his skin slapping against

mine.

“Joshua!”

I thought he mumbled my name; his voice was

so low I couldn’t be sure. He pressed a quick, rough

kiss to my lips, before ducking his head in my

shoulder. I could feel the pleasure build and build

until I wondered if I would explode. And then, it

did. My head tilted into the pillow, my back arched.

I let out a cry, my walls contracting around his cock

as I orgasmed. Joshua let out a groan, and have

one, two hard thrusts, and came inside me.

We both lay still, catching our breath. Joshua

was getting a little heavy, but I just clutched at him

with my weak limbs, wanting the closeness right

then.

After a few minutes, he rolled us over, so we

lay on our sides, and I let out a gasp as his soft cock

slipped out of me. He held me close in his arms,

and I just snuggled further into his chest.

He said something, but I was sleepy, and right

on the edge of sleep. As my mind shut down, I had

one last thought, that it was a good thing I didn’t

hear what he wanted to say to me right then.

Chapter Nine

Joshua

I woke up a little later than usual and didn’t

feel like getting out of bed. The reason was the

warm body lying across my chest. I knew it was

her, but still, when I opened my eyes to see

Alessandra had stayed, I couldn’t help but smile.

The curtains were closed, but they were light,

so I could see her. Besides, it was probably around

mid-morning already. Alessandra lay with her

cheek pressed to my heart, her hair falling all over

my chest. The covers had moved a bit lower, so her

back was exposed, and I wanted to reach my hands

out to touch. She was still asleep, though, and I

didn’t want to wake her up.

I did work her hard last night. She fell asleep

after our first round, but I couldn’t sleep. Once

wasn’t enough for me, not after our long

separation.

Dammit, I sighed to myself. I didn’t want to

move at all, but nature was calling.

Carefully, I slipped off the bed. I had to move

Alessandra, so she was lying beside me instead of

on top of me, making sure she didn’t wake up in the

process. I took a second to make sure she wouldn’t

wake, then turned and headed for the bathroom.

I was usually comfortable walking around my

house naked, but since I had someone over, once I

used the bathroom, I found and put on a robe. I

moved back to the bedroom, to find Alessandra

was still asleep.

Do I wake her or not…?

She looked so peaceful; I decided to leave her

alone a bit longer, though I was starting to get a

little hungry. I looked around the room and noticed

just how messy it was. So, I went around and

picked our clothes first to shove them into an

empty corner. I pulled my phone from my pants

pocket and realized it was late, about fifteen

minutes to eleven.

“Is this okay?” I murmured to myself.

She must have told her parents that she was

okay and would be spending the night out, but if I

let her sleep for much longer, we’d be having lunch

instead of breakfast. Wouldn’t they be expecting

her back? At least it was Sunday, so she probably

didn’t need to go to her nanny job.

After a while, I decided to leave her alone. I’d

go and make breakfast, then come back and check

on her. If she still wasn’t up, I’d wake her.

I walked out of my room and closed the door

quietly behind me, then whistled as I made my way

to the kitchen. I lived alone, so I was usually

responsible for my meals. I didn’t know how to

cook in the beginning, but it was a simple thing to

pick up a cookbook and find instruction videos

online. Mom had been worried about me moving

out of the house, but I took care of myself pretty

well.

The only thing I had trouble with was

housework. I couldn’t do it all myself, so I had a

cleaning service stop by twice a week to clean

around the house for me, but I could do little things

on my own. I also had groceries and other stuff I

needed to be sent to my house, receiving orders

three times a week for the less durable material.

I started with breakfast. I usually went with

something simple, but with Alessandra around, I

might as well treat her to something a bit special.

In the fridge, I had plenty of meat, so I pulled

out the bacon strips and the eggs. There were also

some chopped up vegetables I’d received a couple

days ago. I had some bread and jelly, and coffee

grounds and a coffee machine.

The coffee went first, so I could drink as I

continued cooking. I wasn’t sure if she’d be into

coffee, but there were milk and chocolate as well. I

thought of adding pancakes, too, but then figured

I’d rather not. If I made too much, we might not be

able to finish it all, and I hated to waste food.

Twenty minutes later, I had everything ready. I

finished my coffee, then decided it was time to

wake Alessandra up before the food went cold.

I made it to the room; only she wasn’t on the

bed. I would have worried, but I heard water

running in the bathroom. She must have been

taking a shower.

I’ll have to keep the food covered them.

“Alessandra?” I called, moving over to the

door.

After a second, the water shut off, and I heard

her voice. “Yes?”

“I have breakfast ready, so when you’re done,

come down and eat, okay?”

“Sure,” she called back. “Thanks!”

The water turned back on, and I left her to her

shower.

I was about to leave the room when I heard

something vibrate, and looked over at the

nightstand. It was Alessandra’s phone. I debated

whether to tell her or ignore it. But it could have

been something important, so in the end, I went to

check on her phone.

The screen was lit up, showing a missed call

from her mom. Hesitantly, I picked the phone up.

Maybe I could text her back to wait for a call so

she wouldn’t be worried. Alessandra had always

been close to her parents, and they were still

concerned about her. A part of me had been jealous

of her close relationship with them. My parents

were always busy with other things, and when we

were together, they had expectations of me I was

expected to meet.

That wasn’t to say that I wasn’t close to them,

but we weren’t at the level where I would call, or

they would, just to check up on each other,

especially once I moved out. When I got the call

about Dad being sick after months of silence, it had

been a total shock, especially to find out later that

he’d been ill for a week, and I was only called

when he didn’t improve immediately. They didn’t

even call me for that. They needed someone to look

after the company while he was out of commission,

and they could only call me.

If there was one regret I had after Dad passed

away, it was that we’d lacked the same closeness

Alessandra shared with her mom and dad.

Alessandra didn’t have a screen lock. I swiped

the screen to send the text, only to pause. She’d left

her phone on the last chat thread she’d opened. At

the top of the chat thread was Mom, who she

probably sent that message to previous night.

I didn’t mean to read the text. I just skimmed

over it, and before I could move away from the

chat thread, something caught my eye.

Mom, I won't make it tonight, so keep an eye

on Trent for me. I have some breast milk in the

cooler in my room; I left it yesterday just in case so

be sure to feed him when he’s hungry.

“What the fuck…” I muttered to myself.

The water in the shower going off brought me

back to my senses. I wondered how long I’d been

standing there staring at the message. I’d forgotten

all about what I intended to do, and I quickly set

the phone down then left the room, still feeling

shell-shocked.

I knew better than to let her know I’d seen the

text, though. As my mind continued to try and

collect itself, I made my way back to the kitchen,

served everything on a plate and moved them to the

tiny dining table. I covered everything and went to

get more coffee for myself.

When Alessandra made her way downstairs, in

the same dress from last night with her purse in her

hand, I was seated at the table, waiting for her.

“Sorry, did I make you wait long?” she asked

with a smile.

I put on a smile. “Not at all. And I don’t have

anything to do today; I’m more worried about you

eating cold food.”

“I didn’t know you could cook,” she said

curiously.

“A little breakfast isn’t that hard. Come and sit

down. What would you like to drink? I have coffee,

milk, chocolate and some juice.”

She hesitated to sit, but as I stood up, she

moved to the table.

“Juice, please,” she said. “Apple or orange if

you have those.”

“Let me get you some orange juice, then.”

I moved to the fridge, glad I had my back to

her so I could fix my expression. I had practice

faking my emotions from work, so I could keep

from her that I knew anything. She hadn't told me,

so she must have her reasons for keeping this from

me.

Is it a secret she should be keeping, though?

While I still didn’t know how to feel about

what I read, the implications were obvious. I wasn’t

stupid, so putting the clues together from that short

text was easy enough. I had assumed that she was a

nanny, and she went along with it, but it was

sufficient confirmation that the child was

Alessandra’s.

A part of me wanted to be angry, but the name

in the text jumped at me again, and I felt my lips

twitch. In a smile or a frown, I wasn’t sure.

I got the juice and moved back to the table

with it after picking a glass for her. I knew my

expression was stable as I sat back because she just

looked at me happily as she uncovered the food.

“Let me know if there’s anything else you’d

like,” I offered.

“What are you talking about? This is a lot

already. I’m not sure I’ll be able to finish my share,

so you might have to help me a little, okay?

Besides, I talked to my mom before I came down.

I’ll need to be home soon, and she’ll insist I eat

something for lunch.”

I nodded absently. “I’ll need to drive you back,

then…or have my driver drop you off.”

“What? No.” She refused immediately. “I can

just call for a taxi from here; it’ll be fine. You might

want to use the car or something, later.”

She sent another smile my way, then dug into

the food. I watched her but didn’t forget to eat.

It has to be it then, I thought to myself.

Mystery solved.

I thought back to when I asked if she had

someone else and she told me she did. The mystery

man had to be Trent. The name of her baby that

also just happened to be my second, though rarely

used name.

It had taken me some time to move past the

fact that she was a mother to make the connection.

I couldn’t tell Danny’s age because I didn’t see

him, but since she’d been okay walking outside

with the child, he couldn’t be that young.

If I thought back to when Danny could have

been conceived, it was the only explanation. After

last night, and sitting across from her for breakfast,

I doubted she’d been with someone else within

such a short time. Also, she wasn’t the type of

person to name someone else’s child after her ex, if

she had been so bent on forgetting me after leaving

me.

Whether or not she still loved me, she at least

still had feelings for me.

I smiled, watching her chew happily on her

food before she started singing my praises of how

good everything was. I chuckled a little, and I felt

my emotions shift and relax.

At that moment, I knew what I was feeling.

The idea that Alessandra named our son after me,

even though she didn’t tell me about him, made a

warmth grow in my chest.

There was another implication behind it, too. It

means she still wants me.

Chapter Ten

Alessandra

“You’re going out again today, huh.”

Mom’s voice was flat as she said it, and I

couldn’t help blushing. I had gotten up early, made

breakfast, then taken a shower and gotten dressed.

It wasn’t in the simple, comfortable clothes I wore

at home, either, so it was pretty obvious to figure

out.

“I’m not leaving right now,” I said slowly.

I had paused my steps, but I walked further

into the living room, where Mom was holding Trent

in her arms. I had checked his crib before coming

down, but when he wasn’t there, I figured she

would have him.

“He woke up while you were in the shower,”

she explained. “I changed his diaper, but he’s

probably hungry, so you need to feed him.”

“I know. I’ll feed him, and I’ll leave some

fresh milk for you as well, I don’t know when I’ll

be back tonight. Sorry for giving you so much

work,” I apologized.

Mom just chuckled. “Oh, I don’t mind it. It’s

so nostalgic having a baby in the house, reminds me

of when you were born. You were such a handful

when you were young, you know? Trent is an angel

in comparison.”

“Why do you want to make me feel bad?” I

grumbled.

I went to sit next to her so I could take Danny

from her. He made some gurgling sounds and

squirmed a little as I took him, and I smiled down at

him.

Mom sighed, watching me. “You’re a total

natural with him, you know? I had some trouble

getting into it. I really wanted you, and I was

willing to put in the work, but your dad and I were

also struggling for money, so I could only take leave

from work for so long, and it took months before

you would stop crying so much at night.”

I grew guilty as she continued to talk, even

though it was about a time that I could never

remember. Trent was nothing like that. Though he

also woke me up at night, I knew it wasn’t because

he didn’t want to. Besides, I could afford to laze

around for a bit.

“I know I’m taking advantage of you guys a lot

by still living here when I have my kid, but I

promise it won't be for forever.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “You know you don’t

need to move, honey. Keep saving up for school,

and when the time comes, go and ace your exams,

and come back and show it to us proudly. Your

father and I don’t want any more from you. He is

our grandson, after all.”

“That won't happen for a long time,” I

reassured. “I don’t want to move to a different

apartment to look for a nanny to take care of him.

He’s yours any time you want him.”

She arched an eyebrow. “For a long time, huh?

But you’ve been going out a lot recently, and

you’ve been looking a lot happier, too. You haven’t

said anything, but I’m not so foolish that I can't see

why.”

Mom had a teasing smile on her face. It was

apparent she had figured out I saw Joshua again. If

it had been some other guy, I wouldn’t have kept it

from them. I wondered if Dad knew, too, but the

fact that they weren’t prying meant they were

willing to trust me on this, and it made me happy.

“I’m trying not to get my hopes up,” I said

with a sigh. “And you shouldn’t, either.”

What she said was right, though. Ever since

the date, and that night I spent over at Joshua’

apartment, it had happened a lot more times. I

couldn’t tell if I was happier since I was pretty

happy before, but it was nice to feel the way I used

to when I was with Joshua. It was nostalgic, and yet

not because our relationship now was a little

different.

We were getting on so well, but I didn’t know

if we were to the level we used to be just yet, so I

was still hesitating. We didn’t have a date today or

anything, but I wanted to see him.

“You know I’m going to love you guys no

matter what, right?”

“It’s not like we’re worried you’ll run away

and forget about us,” she said, laughing. “You’re

still young! You should live and love and have fun!

Not spend all your time at home. Besides, you were

always good with your priorities, so we didn’t

worry a lot about you growing up. You’ll do just

fine. I’ll leave you alone so you can feed him,

okay?”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said with a grateful smile.

Nursing Danny was still pretty awkward to me,

and it wasn’t something I liked doing in front of an

audience, even if it was my mom. Dad was

probably off to work already, so I wouldn’t have to

worry about him.

I made myself comfortable, then eased the

strap of my dress off my shoulder. I adjusted

Danny, and the blanket around him, then held him

close as he fed, humming under my breath.

As I watched him, my thoughts were on

Joshua.

Maybe… I really should tell him? Was it a

mistake to keep it from him for this long?

“Would you like to meet Daddy, a baby?” I

whispered.

Trent didn’t even open his eyes. I poked his

cheek, and he just made an annoyed sound and

continued.

I was starting to think that it was time, though.

It had already been more than a month since I met

Joshua again. In that time, I hadn't seen, or heard

of, either his mom or Rachel, and we’d had a good

time every time we were together.

He deserved to know that Trent existed, so

maybe it was time to tell him that I gave birth to his

son.

“Are you done, honey?”

I looked over my shoulder at Mom, who was

peering at me from around the wall in the kitchen.

“I’m done. You can come back, now.”

She smiled and walked over to sit back beside

me as I held Danny to my shoulder to burp him.

She’d brought a glass of juice with her, and set it on

the table for me.

“So when are you leaving?” she asked.

I hummed and looked around. We had an old

clock on the wall, and it took me a few seconds to

figure out the time.

“I want to head out soon before it’s lunch. But

I will be back before tonight. I left some more milk

for Danny just in case.”

Storing breast milk was a little awkward for

me, mostly because of the process. I wasn’t

interested in using a pump, so I had to do it by

hand, and I used a tutorial I’d learned online. At

least it worked. I’d been advised by my doctor that

it was best to keep Danny breastfed, so I wouldn’t

be trying formula on him for a while. Besides, it felt

uncomfortable sometimes how massive my chest

was when I didn’t feed Danny, and I’d had to run

out on Joshua more than a few times because I was

leaking.

It was just one of the things about motherhood

you didn’t hear about until it was happening to you.

Mom gave me tips on how to deal with it, but that

just made things more awkward for me.

“Be sure to bring that young man over for

dinner sometime,” Mom said, as she took Danny

from me. “After you finally tell him everything.”

She had an eyebrow arched like she was asking

a question, and I felt my face warm up.

Crap. She knew I was meeting Joshua.

“I’ll think about it, Mom. Promise.”

She smiled. “Good. Now, go ahead and don’t

be late.”

“I’ll be leaving now. Bye Mom, bye baby.”

I pecked a kiss on both their cheeks, then got

up to find a jacket and my shoes.

Joshua and I hadn't decided on any meeting

today, so there was nothing to be late to, but I was

thinking of asking him out to lunch. It was a

weekday, which meant he was at the office, and we

usually met after work hours for him during the

weekdays. But I had nothing to do, and Mom was

more than happy to spend time with her grandson.

He had no idea I was going to meet him, either.

I planned to go to his office to surprise him.

I could pick the restaurant we go to, I thought

to myself. And I could explain everything over

lunch.

I had to walk for a bit before I managed to hail

a taxi. I was feeling nervous about this. I had

always intended to let him know, I just couldn’t

come up with the when and the how, but that was

procrastinating. There would never be a good time

to come out with this sort of news.

More than anything, even my fears, he

deserved to know, and I wanted him to know.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t be so mad at me that

he stopped speaking to me.

The entire ride to his office, I kept my eyes on

my fidgeting hands in my lap. I kept wording and

rewording how I would say it in my mind. Like,

‘hey, guess what, I have a baby, and you’re a dad,’

or, ‘remember that time when we were teenagers,

and we thought about what our family would be

like, well surprise, we’re parents.’ Not to mention

plenty of other stupid variations.

Maybe it would be best to deliver it in stages.

Start with; he made a mistake assuming I was a

nanny and it was wrong of me to lie. Then go from

there.

“Ma’am? We’re here.”

I looked up and realized the taxi had stopped.

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t realize.”

I went through my purse and got out the cash

for the ride that I handed over to the driver. Then, I

stepped out of the car and stopped in front of

Joshua’ office building. It was the first time I’d

stopped by alone, and I’d only come by one other

time with Joshua when he forgot something at the

office. I felt intimidated for several different

reasons; the building was significant, Joshua would

be somewhere close to the top, and there seemed to

be a lot of people. We had been by in the evening

before, but it was the middle of the day, and people

were busy at work.

No one looked at me as I walked inside.

Luckily, the lady at the reception desk remembered

me from before and allowed me to go up without

alerting Joshua.

I remembered the way. I just had to hit the

third highest button on the elevator, and the whole

of it was his floor. I’d asked before what was in the

higher levels, and he’d just told me it was company

secrets. I didn’t pry after that.

The elevator ride seemed to take no time at all.

I took a deep breath as the car came to a stop, and

the door opened. I went to step outside, only to

look up, and freeze.

“Oh, Alessandra! I didn’t expect to see you

here!”

Joshua smiled at me, looking surprised but

pleased. I would have answered his smile, if not for

the woman standing beside him. She was beautiful,

with blonde hair tied in an elegant bun, deep blue

eyes and a sophisticated skirt suit, in heels that put

her an inch shorter than Joshua, she looked just

perfect standing beside him.

Rachel.

“I…wanted to surprise you,” I admitted after a

second, faking a smile. “I wanted to stop by and

see you for something speedy, but I didn’t expect

you to be with Rachel.”

Rachel smiled at me and wrapped her hands

around Joshua’ arm. “Alessandra, how nice to see

you again,” she said pleasantly. “Joshua told me the

two of you were seeing each other again. I’m glad

the two of you seemed to have mended your

differences.”

Her voice might have been polite on the

surface, but I didn’t miss the tightness around her

eyes. To Joshua, it was a beautiful smile, but to me,

I saw it as a challenge.

“Oh,” I murmured, my voice so low it was

practically a whisper. “We’re not really…”

I couldn’t finish the sentence, and there was an

awkward silence between us for a moment.

“Hey,” Joshua said, grinning. “We were

actually about to head out for lunch. Since you’re

here, why don’t you join us? The two of you used

to get along, right?”

I just barely held back from sending Joshua a

strange look, because that was the dumbest thing

I’d ever heard. I was the one he’d been dating, but

Rachel was the woman his mother wanted him to

marry. She never came on strong, but it had been so

easy for her to move in between us when we were

both living separate lives. We only met a few times,

and I knew she carried the same disdain his mom

did for me because I came from a simple family

with a simple background.

Since when did we ever get along? We were

rivals before we even met with each other.

“Joshua,” Rachel cut in before I could think of

something to say. “Alessandra looks busy, and I

think I might have left something in your office. I

don’t have my purse on me, do you mind if we go

back for it?”

He frowned at her. “Why did you leave it

behind in the first place? Don’t you have

somewhere to go afterward?”

Rachel chuckled. “Yes, you’re right. It was just

careless of me.”

Careless my ass.

Joshua looked away from her, and she sent me

a disgruntled look. I knew then that it had been

deliberate, and I had ruined her plan. She would

have used the excuse to have Joshua bring her back

to his office after their little date so that she could

spend more time with him.

Rachel, after all, was the kind of woman that

wore expensive designer brands all over, and what

kind of woman would be so careless with such

prized possessions?

“Alessandra…”

Joshua looked at me; his expression was

hesitant. I realized the smile on my face had

dropped, and immediately replaced it.

“It’s fine; she’s not wrong. I took a break from

work because I had something I wanted to tell you,

but it’s not important.”

“Oh,” he frowned. “Well, I’ll call you later,

and you can tell me about it, whether or not it’s

important. I’ll see you later, okay?”

I nodded.

He stepped back from the elevator, and I was a

little surprised when the doors automatically started

to close. I didn’t think much of it, though, as I

watched the two of them walk away, Rachel still

holding onto Joshua’ arm, and he didn’t seem to

mind. The doors closed, and I sunk into a crouch,

feeling my stomach drop. It could have just been

the elevator going back down, but that would just

be lying to myself.

“Fuck,” I muttered to myself, burying my face

in my hands as I felt tears trickle down my cheeks.

The whole exchange couldn’t have taken a

minute; I had barely talked to her, barely looked at

her. But I felt so damn inadequate, and I wondered

what I was doing, what I had even been thinking

trying to tell Joshua the truth when it would only

cause problems.

Why does Rachel always make me feel this

way when she barely does anything?

When the elevator stopped back at the first

floor, surprisingly with no one staying it any other

level, I had somewhat composed myself, but I kept

my head down.

I rushed quickly out of the building, rethinking

my decisions of the last little over a month.

Chapter Eleven

Joshua

I was in my office, working when my phone

rang. Absently, I reached my hand to pick up the

call. I was looking at some documents, but I rarely

got calls to my private line, so it was ingrained in

me to pick up my phone whenever it rang.

“Joshua.”

Immediately, I looked away from my

documents.

“Wendy?” I said. “What’s wrong?”

Her voice sounded too serious, urgent even,

and I wondered what had gone wrong. Wendy

wasn’t one to panic unnecessarily, and it

immediately put me on edge.

Did something happen with Danny?

I might have never thought much about

children before, besides some off-handed

comments, then learning I was a father already with

the woman I loved, but I had enjoyed my little

cousin from day one. Not only because Wendy

loved him to bits, but because I was there for his

birth and had been one of the few people to see him

come into the world. He was so small and fragile I

couldn’t help feeling protective over him.

Besides, he was family.

If something ever happened to him, his parents

wouldn’t be the only ones devastated.

“Joshua,” Wendy said. Her voice was calm,

but it sounded forced like she was hiding something

else underneath. “I need you to come over to my

house immediately. If you have something

important, leave it to someone else just this once

okay? Please.”

The please really got to me, because it was

another thing that was uncharacteristic of my

cousin. She never pled for jobs, she asked, or she

demanded.

Fearing the worst, I put everything aside. I

wasn’t working on anything crucial. It was a project

that wouldn’t go into the planning phase for

another month. I was looking over the information

gathered on it, so while necessary, it wasn’t

something I needed to finish right then.

I didn’t bother leaving the work to anyone

else, logging out then shutting down my computer. I

locked my office as I went, and told my secretary

to reschedule anything else I had for the rest of the

day. I made it out of the building and to my car and

drove impatiently over to my cousin’s house.

The gates opened automatically for me, and I

sped up the driveway. I practically shut down the

car and jumped out in the same breath, then I ran

up to the door and started pounding on the door.

“Wendy! It’s me, Joshua, open up!”

There was no immediate response, and I

pressed down on the bell a couple of times before I

went back to pounding on it. When I tried the

handle, it was locked.

“Dammit!” I cursed under my breath.

I’d just taken a couple of steps back and

started pacing a tight circle in front of the door

when it opened, and the last person I expected to

see stood there.

“Alessandra?”

She looked as surprised as I did, not to mention

a little confused.

“Joshua? What are you doing here, knocking

so wildly like that? Did something happen?”

I gaped for a minute, then shook my head.

“Wendy called me and asked to come. Is she

here?”

“Um, she left a while ago. I don’t think there

was anything wrong before she left. She called me

to look after Danny because she had something

important to do today.”

It took a second, but I figured out what was

going on.

Fuck.

This had to be a set-up.

What are you thinking, Wendy?

“Would you like to come in?” Alessandra

offered hesitantly as if she wasn’t sure she should

be inviting me in.

I hesitated myself. I wasn’t sure if I should go

inside. I did like seeing Alessandra again. There had

been silence between us ever since she showed up

at my office over a week ago, but if it was a plan

Wendy was setting up, I wondered if I wanted to be

a part of it.

Not even giving me the time to make a

decision, I heard the gates opening up and whirled

around to see Wendy’s car coming up the drive. I

scowled at her, up until she got to her car, smiling at

the both of us, and came to join us at the door.

“What are you two doing at the doorway? Go

in already.”

She showed us both inside. I frowned at her

but went inside as well.

My little cousin was in the living room, in a

comfy looking high chair, beside the couch.

Alessandra went to sit back next to him and picked

up the bottle on the coffee table.

“I was just feeding him when Joshua came in,”

she explained.

Wendy chirped. “Oh, that’s just great, then!

My chest was feeling a little heavy, so you can take

that back to the fridge so I can use it later.”

Alessandra still had a confused expression as

she watched Wendy walk forward to pick up her

son, but she complied, getting up and heading for

the kitchen. When she disappeared around the wall,

I turned to my cousin.

“What are you planning?” I demanded in a low

voice. “The way you called me here, I was anxious,

so why isn’t there a fire burning or something?”

She rolled her eyes at me. “I don’t know what

happened between you two, but you and

Alessandra better make up, quickly.”

I frowned. “How do you…”

“I don’t need either of you to tell me, all I had

to do was mention your name and watch her face. I

suggest, dear cousin, if you don’t want to lose the

love of your life a second time, you better come out

and do something about it. I’m giving you a chance

here, so you better be grateful.”

I wanted to argue, but I could only bite my

tongue. It was true that something had come

between us in the past week. Before that, we were

messaging regularly and meeting three or more

times a week. So, of course, I noticed that

Alessandra was acting a bit withdrawn, but when I

messaged her, she still replied, she was just busy. It

was hard to tell whether she was actually working

or just trying to avoid me.

Alessandra took so long to come back; I

wondered what was going on. So I was shocked

when she walked back into the room carrying

another baby, rolling a baby walker behind her.

“Why was Trent in the kitchen?” Wendy

asked, head tilted. “You might as well keep them

together so they can get to know each other.”

Alessandra looked up quickly, and I didn’t miss

how her eyes jumped to me before she looked away

quickly. She fidgeted, looking a little guilty.

She’s still not good at keeping what she’s

thinking or feeling from her face, I noted. Or rather,

she wasn’t even trying. I wondered what she and

Wendy talked about.

“I didn’t have them in different rooms, he was

curious about the house and rolled into the kitchen

while I was busy. Don’t worry; he didn’t touch

anything.”

Wendy just laughed. “I wouldn’t mind if

anything got dirty, as long as he wasn’t hurt, so

don’t worry about it.”

My eyes dropped to Danny in her arms. He

had his face laying on her shoulder so that I

couldn’t see all of him. He was about the same size

as my little cousin and had almost the same shade

light blonde hair. I was willing to bet he had

matching blue eyes, though I could also imagine

him with eyes like Alessandra’s.

Wendy hummed. “I just bought the perfect

thing, and I was so excited over it, I had to come

back early. I have a spare baby car seat, and I

found a double stroller and bought it. It’s waiting

for me in the car. Why don’t I take the babies out

for a walk? I always wanted to try a double stroller.

Everyone will think I have twins or something.”

She grinned to herself, looking genuinely

excited at the prospect. I already knew about her

fascination with twins, so it likely wasn’t a lie.

“Come on, Alessandra,” she said with a wave.

“I’ll get the other seat, let’s get both of them in the

car.”

The said baby seat was in a different corner of

the living room, and Wendy went to pick it up.

Alessandra followed, and I brought up the rear as

we went to the car.

Wendy threw me a look, and I went forward

without her saying a thing. I helped set up the

second chair, and she set Danny inside. Then she

went back to Alessandra and held her hands out for

Trent.

My whole body froze. I wanted to stop her,

because how dare she gets to hold my son before

even I did? But I didn’t want to give myself away.

Alessandra was also hesitant, her eyes moving to

me before they met Wendy’s gaze.

“You don’t have to,” she said. “I don’t want to

bother you, or anything…”

Wendy waved a dismissive hand. “Nonsense,

how is it bothering me? I won't be going anywhere

dangerous; I’ll be at the park. And if you’re so

worried, you don’t have to be. My husband will be

meeting me there so that the children will be more

than safe. It’ll only be an hour, and you can watch

the house for me at that time, right?”

Alessandra bit her lip in indecision.

I was still frowning at Wendy, wondering what

she thought this would accomplish. I knew

Alessandra, and I needed to have a real talk. I had

known it from the moment I found out she gave

birth to my son. I didn’t have any hard proof of it,

but I felt it. But doing it this way was endangering

everything.

Already, I could tell Alessandra looked

cornered. She didn’t seem uncomfortable with the

thought of being left alone with me. Wendy

involving herself might make Alessandra less

inclined to trust her later, so she was risking their

friendship as well.

Then, Alessandra’s expression grew firm.

“I’m going, too,” she declared.

I narrowed my eyes. Wendy threw me a look,

but I didn’t see it because my eyes were on

Alessandra. I could feel her gaze practically boring

into me, though.

“You’re not going anywhere, Alessandra.”

Her expression went tense. My fingers

clenched into fists in my pockets. I might not be so

sure of Wendy’s method, but I had a feeling, if I

walked away now, it would be even harder for me

to talk to her. She wasn’t making it very obvious,

but with the way she was holding Danny ever since

we were inside, it was as if she was trying to keep

me from seeing the child correctly.

She was trying to hide him from me.

I sighed and released my fists. “We need to

talk, Alessandra. Please.”

Slowly, she turned and met my gaze. We stared

at each other for a few seconds, before she sighed

as well and looked away from me, the tension

leaving her shoulders. Her expression seemed

unwilling, but as Wendy reached her hands out for

Danny, she didn’t refuse to release him.

Chapter Twelve

Alessandra

I watched as Wendy got inside the car, with

both our sons in the back of it, and drove off.

Joshua was only a few feet away from me, and my

body was stiffening up once more with tension as

we were left alone.

The automatic gates opened for Wendy’s car,

and as they closed behind her, I felt something

ominous in the metallic clang.

“Shall we go back inside?”

I knew he was right there, but when he talked,

I still jumped. I shot a glance at him before looking

away.

Fuck. I’m entirely acting guilty here!

I was feeling guilty, though.

After realizing that his relationship with Rachel

hadn't changed much that time I stopped by his

office, I had been confused. I wasn’t sure what I

should feel, or what I should do. My heart wanted

one thing, but my mind was intent on being

cautious. So while I didn’t ignore him entirely, I

didn’t reach out to him first in the past several

days.

“Alessandra?”

I startled again, having lost myself in thought. I

whirled around without looking at him and entered

the house. He walked inside behind me, and I heard

the door close.

I want to run away.

There was no way I could face Joshua just yet;

I didn’t think I was ready. Even worse, he saw

Trent. I tried to make sure he wouldn’t see Danny’s

face.

Why did I let Wendy talk me into bringing

Trent here, to begin with, I groaned internally.

Receiving the call had not been a surprise.

While I was minimizing contact with Joshua, I was

not doing the same with Wendy. The invite to her

place came out of nowhere, but because I thought

she needed help, I didn’t want to tell her no. Then

she’d told me I might as well bring my son and look

after the two children together, so I could stick

around longer without worrying about my son. I

hadn't been convinced of it at first, but Wendy

assured me she had two or more of everything

bought for her baby, and she didn’t mind me

borrowing it.

So, after some thinking, I thought it would be

fine. I didn’t expect for her to call Joshua here out

of the blue, and then run off with both our kids in

her newly bought double stroller.

Dammit, Wendy. What am I going to do with

you?

While I was exasperated, I wasn’t mad at her.

Wendy didn’t do things to be selfish. The moment

she saw Trent when I arrived, she’d told me she

would have figured out who the father was even if I

hadn't told her. Then, somehow, she got me to spill

about my insecurities and second-guessing.

I knew this was her way of telling me to

choose before I let it consume me, but I was still a

little annoyed that she couldn’t have just warned

me.

Though to be fair, if she had, I might have tried

to run, but it’s not like I could have anyway, with

two children to look after.

“Would you like something to drink?” Joshua

offered. “Wendy always keeps a supply of juice in

her fridge; she should have several flavors.”

His footsteps headed for the kitchen, and while

I was a little happy at the short reprieve so I could

collect myself, it did nothing to lessen the

apprehension. Because I knew, whether I liked it or

not, that this was something that was going to

happen.

A part of me was resigned. I would have told

him already if I hadn't met Rachel at his office, but

his deserving to know and my wanting him to know

hadn't changed. I was just worried about what this

would mean for my son and me.

“Just bring me any,” I called after him,

deciding I felt a little thirsty.

Some minutes later, Joshua walked back into

the living room. He held two glasses of juice. I

didn’t meet his gaze as he kept one out to me. I

took a sip and sighed as the cold, mango flavored

drink went down my throat. It did calm my nerves

just a little, so I made some more.

“Come and sit down,” he said.

I did as he said automatically, sitting on the

couch. He sat on the single seat right next to the

sofa and set his juice down. After taking a couple

more sips, I held my glass on my lap.

“You act as if this is your place,” I said, trying

to smile as I finally looked up.

Joshua’ expression told me he wasn’t in the

mood for the humor.

“Alessandra, do you not want to be here?” he

asked, suddenly.

My eyes widened, my mouth dropped open. I

couldn’t answer, because really, I would have said

yes when I knew I shouldn’t. This talk had to

happen, sooner rather than later. In fact, it was

already more than a year late. I knew that, but I

was so afraid. If not for the fear, I would have told

him the moment it I found out, only I knew he

would tell his family, and I wanted nothing to do

with any of them back then because I was angry

and devastated.

It was different now.

“Please don’t expect me to answer that,” I said

after a moment. “It’s a loaded question, Joshua. I

know this is a set up by your cousin, I’m not dense

or anything.”

His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, I figured it out, too.

What I want to know, is why she felt it was even

necessary to do something like this? Did something

happen that I’m not aware of? I thought we were

getting along really well, and then this happened

out of nowhere.”

I ducked my head down, took another sip of

my juice.

So he still hasn’t figured it out?

I didn’t say anything, and after a long moment

of silence, he heaved a heavy sigh. There was a

rustling sound, and I looked to find him loosening

his tie to undo the first two buttons of his shirt.

Then, he picked up his juice and drank down half

the glass.

Our eyes met, and the intensity in his stopped

me from looking away again.

“Fine,” he said. “You don’t have to answer

that, but if I ask you about Trent, you’re at least

going to tell me about him, aren’t you? Like, about

how you lied you were just his nanny and not his

mother? Or better yet, would you tell me who the

father is?”

Question after question spilled out of his

mouth, but my mind was already going blank; I felt

numb. His expression was very steady, and he

didn’t even bother to hide it.

“You know…” I let out in a whisper.

Joshua nodded. “Yes, Alessandra, I know that

Trent is my son.”

I blinked at him several times in shock. I hadn't

expected this. There I was, all nervous for the big

reveal, and he already knew.

When did he find out? Since the beginning?

Or…

He must have seen the shift in my expression

because he spoke up quickly.

“If you think Wendy told me anything, you’re

mistaken, but I’ll take that expression to mean you

told my cousin about this before you even told me.”

My expression immediately shifted from

suspicious to guilty. Why was it, that I could hide

my pain so he wouldn’t see it, but he could see

everything else on my face as if I were an open

book? Or was it that he didn’t expect to see it, so

he didn’t?

“How long have you known?” I asked after a

minute, my voice quiet.

Was it since the beginning? I thought. When

we met at the park, and I thought he didn’t see,

maybe did see Trent and recognized him? Besides

today, it was the only other time the two of them

had been close together. I was careful not to

mention the child’s name every time he asked

about my ‘job’ as a nanny. Or did I give myself

away in some other form? It was possible.

Crap, did he taste the milk that time in the limo

when I thought I stopped it?

“It makes no difference, does it?” Joshua

retorted. “All that matters is I know, Alessandra,

and no one told me about it. I figured it out

myself.”

I frowned at him, but after a second thought,

decided it didn’t matter. I did feel a little ashamed

that he could have been going along with my lie the

whole time while knowing it was a lie.

“So, since you already know, what else is there

to talk about?”

“You left me,” he said. I tilted my head,

confused. “I want you back, Alessandra,” he

added.

I stalled for a sec, then quickly shook my head.

“No,” I refused.

There was no way. He had asked too quickly,

and right then, I didn’t even need to think about my

answer. I already had reservations, and learning

that he knew all along and didn’t tell me before

wasn’t helping matters. Besides, the thing with

Rachel was still so damn fresh, and the worst part

was that he didn’t seem to realize it was even a

problem.

If he couldn’t recognize the problem, what

happened last time would happen again. Only we

had a child between us now, so even if I wanted to,

I couldn’t be free of him.

“Why not?” he asked calmly.

I opened my mouth but had to pause to put my

thoughts together. He already knew my big secret,

should I tell him about his mom and Rachel?

But does he not know, or is he just ignoring it?

And how the hell can he act so damn calm!

Whichever it was didn’t matter, though.

“It’s for the best, Joshua,” I said, my voice

firm.

“Weren’t things getting on fine between us

recently?”

“That is one thing, and this is another thing. I

wouldn’t mind being friends with you.” Thought it

would be a lot easier for me emotionally to just cut

all ties with you.

“But anything more than that wouldn’t be

good for either of us, Joshua. Not now.”

“Then when?” he snapped. “And the best for

whom? I don’t see why we can't just be together.

You still care for me as I do for you, we have a son

together, Alessandra.”

“None of that means we have to be together,

though,” I pointed out.

He looked like he wanted to argue, and he

fisted his hands on his knees. But in the end, he

blew out an explosive breath and picked up his

juice to drink down the rest of it. I looked down at

my glass and took a few more sips. It was still half

full.

“Fine, then,” he said after a moment. “You

don’t have to be with me if it’s not what you want.

But even if you don’t want me, I still want access

to my son. I’m allowed to have that much, aren’t

I?”

His tone was sarcastic, and it made my chest

ache. I wanted to tell him that I never intended to

keep his son away from him forever, but would he

even believe me if I said it?

My eyes stung with tears. I didn’t want him to

see me cry, so I drank up what was left of my juice,

set the glass on the table, and stood up.

“I’m leaving,” I said, not looking at him. “I’ll

call Wendy and ask where she is so I can pick Trent

up. I’ll see you later, Joshua.”

He stood up as well. “Won't you at least give

me an answer before you leave?” he said,

exasperated. “Do I have to look for you again, or

are you going to talk to me?”

I picked up my purse, then turned to look at

him over my shoulder.

“You and Rachel are good together,” I said, my

voice hard.

He scowled. “Don’t tell me it’s about that.”

Shit. Did he figure it out, now?

He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“Alessandra, please tell me that you’re not worried

about Rachel. Because if that’s the only problem

you ever had with me, I might get mad.”

“And what of it?” I retorted, defensive.

For a moment, he was speechless. Then, he did

look mad.

“I’m going to tell you what I’ve told my mom

countless times. I’ve known Rachel for a while, and

I do consider her a friend, but nothing is going to

happen between her and me. And you, Alessandra,

you know I’m going to stick to it so that I can be a

stubborn bastard.

“So you knew your mom wanted you to marry

Rachel instead of me?” I said, surprised.

“Of course I knew, she told me, and I refused

every time. I talked to Rachel about it, and she said

she was okay with it. She wouldn’t mind going

along with my mom, because we know each other

and we do get along. But I don’t have any romantic

feelings for her, and I don’t think I ever will.”

I bit my lip. Could I believe him? He might say

that he talked to Rachel, and she was okay with it,

but she was not. No friend, not even a close one,

would have grabbed his arm in front of someone

they knew he was in a relationship with. She

wouldn’t have acted so close to him before, either,

if she took our relationship seriously.

He thought he got it, but he didn’t. Rachel lied,

but she had always been pushing me aside from the

moment she met me as Joshua’ girlfriend.

“Alessandra,” he said, his voice quieter, almost

pleading. “I don’t know where you got the idea

from in the first place. If I made you think that way,

then I will apologize as many times as you want.

But Rachel and I are not as good as we are, and

you need to stop fighting it. Because there’s only so

long I can be the only one fighting for what we both

want before I get tired of it.”

I stood still, not looking at him, feeling

conflicted. Had… I just been acting stupid the

entire time? There was a part of me that wanted to

take his words as truth, jump into his arms and say

yes to everything. But that would be careless.

Nothing had been solved just yet.

Chapter Thirteen

Joshua

There was a knock on my office door. I

glanced up.

“Come in,” I called.

The door opened, and my secretary walked in

carrying a folder.

“I have the reports for you from the finance

department, sir,” she said. “I’m still waiting on a

couple more reports for the project.”

I waved her over. “Give it to me. When the

rest arrive bring them in. Thank you.”

I reached my hand and took the folder, then

she turned and walked out of the room. I sighed

once I was alone again and dropped the envelope

on the desk.

Technically, I was supposed to be working, but

it was around eleven already, and I hadn't done a

damn thing, even though I always got into the

office at eight thirty. I didn’t feel like working,

which was the worst kind of attitude to have as the

head of a vast company.

My phone sat on my desk, beside my computer

keyboard, and I picked it up. I unlocked the screen

but froze before I could do anything.

What I wanted right then was to talk to

Alessandra, but I was holding myself back. After

how we left things the last time we met, I wanted

her to try to reach out to me first.

As I waited, I’d been doing some thinking.

Mostly, about Mom and Rachel.

The two of them were friends. I knew the

reason was that Mom and Rachel’s mother had

been close until her parents had a divorce and the

relationship with her mom grew a little strained.

Rachel spent more time with my mother than her

own, and somewhere along the way, Mom started

thinking Rachel would make the perfect wife for

me.

Even before Dad passed away, she kept trying

to push the issue. She kept telling me it would ease

Dad’s mind if he knew I married into a good family,

even though out of both of them, she was the only

one that had a problem with my relationship with

Alessandra.

“I made a big mess of things, didn’t I?” I

groaned to myself.

I dropped my phone on my desk and leaned

forward, holding my face in my hand, as I drummed

my fingers on the counter with my other hand.

Alessandra and I started dating back in high

school, so of course, my parents knew about the

relationship early on. I didn’t even realize my mom

had a problem with it until I finished high school.

Her excuse was that she put up with it, thinking it

was puppy love, nothing more than a childhood

fling, that I would forget when I went to college.

Only, I didn’t.

I never thought I had to give my mom’s words

much thought, figuring that as long as she saw

things between Alessandra and me didn’t change,

she would come to accept things.

For the moment, it was a good idea to give

Alessandra her space. In the meantime, while she

thought through things on her own and made up her

mind, I had to talk to both my mom and Rachel.

A first step, Rachel.

With a plan in mind, I picked up my phone. I

found Rachel’s contact and called her.

“Joshua,” she said, sounding pleasantly

surprised. “I was just about to call you and ask to

meet up for lunch. I have another proposal for you

to look at. Can I stop by your office?”

I understood her surprise. I was rarely the one

that called her first. She usually showed up at the

office, and I made time for her when I could. It had

always been like that and hadn't changed much in

the past year.

“There’s no need for that. It’ll be lunch in

another hour. Why don’t you pick the place and I’ll

meet you there?”

She hummed. “Okay. There’s this nice place

not too far from your office. The food is good, and

it has a good view. Let me text you the name and

address, okay?”

“Sure.”

We cut the call, and a minute later I had the

information.

There was still time, and after a quick second, I

decided I might as well get something done in the

time before she showed up. I called my secretary to

clear two hours for me for lunch. I didn’t think the

talk would take that long, but I might drive around

before I returned to the office.

Before I knew it, the time for us to meet had

arrived. I got another text from Rachel telling me

she was on her way, that she was excited.

I did feel a little sad about what I was going to

do today, but not enough to back out.

The place wasn’t that far. The drive in the

light, mid-day traffic took me ten minutes, and I

made my way to the restaurant. Rachel had still

arrived before I did. She saw me first and waved,

and I went to join her.

“I had them take back the menus,” she

explained, when I saw our table was empty. “I

already know what you like so I ordered for you.

Trust me; you’re going to love it.”

I didn’t say anything, but I was bothered. She

had done this for me before, and I never thought

much about it, but I wondered now if there was a

meaning behind it that I had missed before.

“We need to talk, Rachel,” I said, cutting off

whatever else she was going to say.

She blinked at me. “About the proposal? Well,

I was hoping we could talk about it…”

I shook my head. “Not that, Rachel. I meant,

we need to talk about us.”

That quieted her up. She was surprised; then

she smiled at me. She looked happy, and I felt a

spike of guilt again.

“You want to talk about us?”

“Specific enough. What I want, Rachel is for

you to leave me alone.”

The smile froze on her face, before quickly

dropping. Her face paled, eyes wide in shock. She

opened and closed her mouth several times before

she found her voice.

“What… Joshua, what do you mean?”

I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms

over my chest.

“I…consider you a friend, Rachel,” I started

slowly. “And not a very close one at that, but still a

friend. We’ve also talked business between our

parent's companies before, and I do appreciate our

talks, but anything outside of business…”

She cut me off. “Wait a minute. Joshua, I’m

sorry, but have I done or said something wrong?”

“It’s not anything you’ve said or done, Rachel.

It is probably your expectations of me.”

“But I don’t have any—” she said, voice high

and defensive.

I held up a hand and cut her off. Her mouth

snapped closed, and she stared at me. She was

shaking a little.

My voice gentled a bit. “Mom has probably

told you about how she wished for you and I to get

married, hasn’t she, Rachel?”

For a long moment, she didn’t have any

reaction, but then she nodded.

“You do know that’s not going to happen,

right? I’m not going to marry you, Rachel. I never

had the intention to. And when we talked before, I

figured you got it.”

“Why not, though?” she argued. “I would be

perfect for you in ways that she could never be. I

understand the world you currently live in, if you

have problems at work, you can talk them out with

me, and I’ll be more understanding of any of it than

anyone because I was raised with the same

expectations that you were.”

I slowly shook my head and saw her

expression crumple.

“But…”

“I’m in love with someone else, Rachel.

You’ve always known that, too. And there’s no way

I can marry you while I love someone else, no

matter what you and my mom talk about. Stop

listening to everything she tells you. Find your

mom, talk to her, and don’t overthink about

becoming in-laws with my mother, because it’s

never going to happen.”

Her lips were pressed flat, her expression

looking aggravated.

Maybe I wasn't fair, but I should have done

this a long time ago. I thought we could be friends

after we cleared the air between us, but she didn’t

think that way. Still, even in the time when

Alessandra and I were separated, I never thought of

taking things between us any further than where

they were.

“There’s just one thing I need to ask,” she said

after a minute, voice shaking with emotion. “Why

are you assuming the only reason I want to marry

you, is because your mom wanted it?”

I rubbed the back of my neck, really wishing

she hadn't brought it up.

“I know that’s not the only reason,” I said

awkwardly. “I kept quiet about it, trying to be

tactful. I never went out of my way to show you

anything other than politeness, so you would know

that I don’t have any feelings for you. I made it

clear to you both it wasn’t going to happen because

I already had someone I planned to have in my

future.”

Her expression morphed to devastation, and

her eyes blinked rapidly as they shone with unshed

tears.

“So all this time you knew and let me act like

an idiot?”

“I thought you would get over it, and things

wouldn’t have to change, but it’s not happening.

I’m sorry, Rachel. It’s not anything to do with you.

You’re a wonderful woman, and any man would be

lucky to have you. Just not me.”

“I have been in love with you all this time,”

she said, voice small.

I winced. “I know,” I said gently. “But, Rachel,

I’m in love with someone else.”

She ducked her head so I wouldn’t see her

expression. It was easy enough to figure out,

though. She had her fingers clasped together on the

table, and her whole form was shaking. A waiter

came up beside our table, pushing a tray with our

food.

He must have noticed the atmosphere between

us, because he served the food, and walked away. I

looked at my plate. It seemed, and smelled,

delicious, and in any other circumstances, I was

sure I would have loved it.

Right then, neither of us felt like eating.

Chapter Fourteen

Alessandra

“I’m only here because you said there would

be no tricks today,” I said when Wendy opened her

front door for me.

After the trick she played on me last week, I

was hesitant even to pick her call, but she somehow

talked me into going to her house. I held Trent in

my arms and my purse over my shoulder. Wendy

opened the door and smiled disarmingly at me, but I

just narrowed my eyes at her.

“Oh, come on,” she laughed. “I wouldn’t try

the same thing twice, Alessandra, and believe it or

not, I did do it for your good. Otherwise, you would

have kept running around in circles, you know?

That’s no way to live.”

I remained unyielding for a moment longer, but

I knew I couldn’t keep it up. When she stepped

aside to leave me room to walk in, I only hesitated

a little before walking inside. I looked around,

cautious, holding my baby close.

Wendy chuckled. “It’s not like I called you

hereunder conspiracy to snatch your child,

Alessandra so that you can relax a little bit. Don’t

worry; not even my husband is home, I’m alone

with the kid.”

She led us to the living room, where she had

left her son on a blanket on the floor, playing with

some toys. She walked over to him and picked him

up, then moved with him to the couch, and patted

the space beside her for me. I watched her with

narrowed eyes but moved to sit beside her.

“All right,” I said, facing her. “You said you

had something important to tell me, so what is it?”

“Can’t you just relax a little before we start

talking business?” she asked with a pout.

I shook my head. “No way. The least you owe

me is an explanation after last week, Wendy. I

could have worked through my feelings just fine.”

“Like you have been for the past year or so?”

she asked.

Her expression grew more dangerous, and I

couldn’t refute it. I had spent that time worrying

about a lot of things, my relationship with Joshua

was just one of those things, but it was, admittedly,

the biggest worry.

I slumped into the couch. “Still, why was

blindsiding me like that your solution? You could

have just insisted I talk to him!”

“But then I would come out as annoying, and

you would stop talking to me altogether, wouldn’t

you?”

I pursed my lips because I couldn’t say no.

“What are you running from, Alessandra?” she

asked.

“I’m not—”

I started to protest, but she gave me a look,

and the words froze in my throat.

Fuck.

When I saw Rachel comforting him in place of

me, when he hadn't so much as called me that I had

to find out his dad had passed away from mutual

friends, I had felt heartbroken. I turned my back to

him, with no intention of looking back.

I found out that I was pregnant, and

throughout the pregnancy, and seeing my son every

day, was a constant reminder of the man I was in

love with, but wanted to forget for the sake of my

own heart.

It didn’t end well. I was sure if I’d had more

time, I would have moved on, but I couldn’t do that

and deny Joshua the right to see his son.

We still needed to talk about that, and I was

sure it would be impossible to forget him if I had to

see him frequently.

“I don’t know what to do, Wendy,” I admitted

in a whisper.

She sighed. “I know. That’s exactly what you

told me the last time, and I invited Joshua over so

the two of you could have some privacy to talk,

and as far as I know, it didn’t go well.”

I frowned at her. “Did he tell you what

happened?”

If he had, I was going to get up and walk out.

“He didn’t tell me,” she said, shaking her head.

“I stopped by his office twice on three different

days this week, because neither of you told me

what happened after your talk, and I figured out on

my own how it went.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “What do you

mean?”

She arched an eyebrow. “Joshua is burying

himself in his work the way he always does when

he has something troubling him, and not talking to

anyone. Although, I did hear from my aunt that the

two of them had a heated argument, though she

didn’t tell me what about.”

“He and his mom argued?” I asked, surprised.

She nodded, solemn.

Joshua wasn’t one to have arguments with

anyone. Even when his mom had been

disapproving of me and had said it in both our

presence, he just shut her down firmly and refused

to hear more talk on the matter. He wouldn’t argue

about something unless he thought it was worth

arguing over, and that philosophy of his was why

we didn’t explain much in the time of our

relationship.

He, especially, didn’t argue with his mom,

while his dad was sick and after he had passed

away.

“What do you want to bet the argument had

something to do with you?” she asked.

I bit my lip. No way would be I take that bet.

“You need to stop playing this game,

Alessandra,” she said. Her expression and her voice

both softened. “I know you have reservations, but

you can't just keep putting off making a decision.

You’ve already done it long enough, and if you’re

sure you don’t want him, and you won't change

your mind later, tell him you won't be getting back

together and put the poor bastard out of his

misery.”

“But…what if I don’t think I can do that?” I

asked tentatively.

“Then go talk to him and tell him to give you

more time, tell him you’re willing to talk, or try, or

something. Absolute radio silence is just going to

hurt him, and you might hurt yourself in the

process. Not to mention your child. You need to

make things clear for all of your sakes.”

But I’m scared, I thought.

I knew everything she said was right. If I

dragged this on too long, I ran the risk of having

Joshua start to think I was playing with him, and he

would hate me. That thought made my chest ache,

and I held my baby closer to me, ducking my head

to breath in his scent, allowing it to calm me.

“Alessandra?” Wendy called softly.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her

expression was sympathetic as she watched me.

“This is hard for you, and you’re scared. I

don’t need you to tell me, Alessandra, I know. If

relationships were easy, there would be less need

for uncertainty, but relationships are about hard

work. They’re about putting yourself out there,

even if you’re scared or unsure, and hoping your

partner will meet you half way. I’ve been there

myself. My relationship wasn’t exactly a fairy

tale.”

“I know that,” I muttered, looking away.

Of course, I knew that. My parents had been

happily married for more than two decades, but I

knew even they had times when they argued, when

they didn’t want to talk to each other, or when they

had problems. Even when they didn’t want me to

see it, it was hard not to notice. But every time,

they fixed things between them.

Joshua and I never had any arguments. The

reason we separated, was because I wasn’t brave

enough to sit Joshua down and have a talk with

him. I could have told him everything that bothered

me, about his mom, and his relationship with

Rachel. I was focused on school at the time, sure,

but I knew he needed me, and I would let long days

keep us apart when finding time for a damn phone

call or a short visit wouldn’t have been a hard thing

to do.

He thought about me, but I didn’t put in much

effort to hold onto our love when I felt threatened

after he’d fought against his mom’s wishes even in

the wake of his dad’s illness.

“Please, Alessandra, give my cousin another

chance, okay?” Wendy said after a long silence.

“I’m only asking you to do this because I know it’s

something you want to do. Whatever you’re

worried about to do with Joshua, I can tell you right

now; you don’t have to overthink about it. He’s

always been a straightforward kind of guy, and he’s

not the kind of person that would go behind your

back.”

I didn’t do nearly as much as I should have the

first time.

My lips pressed flat together as determination

washed through me. It’s not too late. I can try

again, and I owe Joshua a huge apology.

“I will,” I said, meeting her gaze. My eyes

blurred as the urge to cry rose up in my throat,

making me feel like I was choking. “I’m going to

give him another chance. Crap, Wendy, I messed

everything up, didn’t I?”

She smiled and shifted Danny in her arms so

she could reach out and pat me on the back.

“It’s fine. You were at a stressful, emotional

time in your life, and everything else happening just

made you more emotional, then confused. It was

easier to try to forget everything than to work

through it all, so don’t be so hard on yourself.”

I sniffled as I wiped at my eyes. “But I could

have ruined things between us for forever. I love

him, Wendy, and we have a son together. I don’t

know why I behaved the way I did when I’ve never

once stopped trusting him…”

I choked up and let the words trail off. I

covered my mouth with my hand, and squeezed my

eyes closed, to try and hold back the crying. Once I

started, it would be hard to stop.

Then, I felt a hand on my knee that startled

me. Trent was surprised as well, making a squeal of

protest as he squirmed. My eyes snapped open, and

I saw Joshua kneeling in front of me, smiling gently

up at me. I turned wide eyes to Wendy, who

shrugged.

“I swear I didn’t call him; he has perfect

timing. But since he’s already here, you can tell him

what you just told me, can't you?”

“There’s no need,” Joshua said, and I turned

back to him.

His other hand rose up to cup my cheek, and I

felt my breath catch in my throat. He rubbed the

corners of my eye to wipe away the stray tears.

“We can let the past be in the past,” he said.

“I’d rather talk about our future right now.”

I watched him for a second, and my expression

crumpled as I cried. Joshua’ arms went around me,

holding both our son and me carefully so he

wouldn’t smother Danny. I buried my face in his

shoulder and gave into all the feelings I’d been

running away from for longer than a year.

Chapter Fifteen

Joshua

It took a while for Alessandra to calm down,

but I had to stop hugging her when Danny got tired

of being squished between the two of us, and let

out a wail of protest. I pulled back. Alessandra’s

face was full of tears, and her eyes and the tip of

her nose were puffy. I looked down at Danny she

held in her arms, who was wildly swinging his

closed fists.

“Sorry, little guy,” I murmured. “Am I hurting

you?”

He went quiet as he looked up at me. Then he

put a fist into his mouth and gurgled as he stared at

me with wide, blue eyes that reminded me of my

own.

This is my son, I thought and felt a little

overwhelmed.

“Would you like to hold him?”

I looked up at Alessandra. She was managing a

smile for me, though it was shaky around the edges.

I hesitated, but I was curious. So I nodded.

“You’ll have to sit down first,” she said. “It

can't be comfortable, kneeling on the floor like

that.”

“Now that you mention it,” I said with a

grimace.

I went to get off my knees, and there was a

little ache, but it was easy enough to brush off.

Alessandra shifted, so she was in the middle, giving

me a room in the corner of the couch to sit down. I

held my arms out for Danny and froze.

“Um, how exactly do I hold him?”

She blinked. “Just…give him support from

underneath? He’s older now, so it’s a little easier.

Just…”

Alessandra didn’t seem to know how to

explain and held Danny out to me. I tried to copy

how she had her arms and hands positioned. Once I

had him in my arms, she readjusted my hold.

“You’re crap at this, you know,” she said with

a chuckle. “Why is that? I saw you holding

Wendy’s baby, and you did that just fine.”

I gave her a sour look. “That was my cousin’s

kid, and this is my son. I’m a little nervous,

Alessandra.”

It was like all the knowledge I’d gotten, being

around Wendy and her kid just disappeared into

thin air. Wendy had shown me all of this and asked

me enough times to accompany her in looking after

my little little cousin that I became comfortable

with it, and yet it still felt new. Because the child I

was now holding in my arms was mine, birthed by

the woman I loved.

It was a lot of pressure.

He’s so small, and warm.

In a way, it felt like being there for the birth of

Wendy’s baby. I had been just as nervous, just as

green back then. Only, the child in my arms had his

eyes opened and stared at me the whole time as if

he was curious about who I was.

“Why don’t I leave you two lovebirds alone?”

Wendy said.

I turned to her with a frown, though

Alessandra spoke before I did.

“You don’t have to leave, Wendy. This is your

house, after all. Besides, don’t you want to be close

by to witness your handy work?”

She chuckled. “Well, honestly, I was thinking

of moving somewhere out of sight and listening in

to your conversation, because it would be a shame

if you got this far and still didn’t resolve things

between you two. Not to mention frustrating.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’ve made your point,

Wendy. We’re talking this out, so no need to keep

fretting. You can stay where you are, but try not to

butt in, okay?”

She stuck her tongue out at me, and I sighed.

Still, even though I told her she could stay to

listen in, since I didn’t know what else to say, and

neither did Alessandra it seemed, there was a long

silence in the living room.

It was just getting awkward when Alessandra

sucked in an audible breath.

“You…heard what I said before, right?” she

asked, tentative. “Just how much did you hear?”

I pursed my lips. I’d come to Wendy’s house

from the office because I realized I was falling into

old patterns. When things bothered me, I tried to

think about them, and when I couldn’t stand to, I

wanted to bury them. I was supposed to be giving

Alessandra space, but I missed her and wanted to

see her, and knowing I couldn’t, I immersed myself

in work.

Wendy stopping by my office on several

occasions was the wake-up call I needed, but I

ended up on her doorstep today because I was tired

of waiting for a response that wasn’t fast enough

for me and I needed advice.

I had told myself that I would talk to

Alessandra right after I spoke to Wendy about my

decision, only to be surprised when I opened the

door and heard the two of them talking.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop or anything,” I

muttered, slightly embarrassed. “I just heard you

talking and didn’t want to startle either of you. You

didn’t seem to notice I was there, either, but I

couldn’t keep staying still when you looked like

you were crying.”

“Did you hear a lot of it?” she asked, voice

small.

I hedged. “I heard enough.”

There was another lengthy silence. Alessandra

kept shifting beside me. She was looking straight

ahead, as I glanced at her out the corner of my eye.

She seemed to have lost her voice, so I decided it

was my turn this time.

“It was Rachel, wasn’t it,” I said, matter-of-

factly. “Her and my mother, the reason you ran and

hid from me the first time. You were afraid of the

both of them.”

She ducked her head, her hands fidgeting

together, shoulders hunching in as if she wanted to

make herself smaller.

“I’m a little ashamed of myself, honestly, now

that I think back. If I had just talked to you, this

wouldn’t have been so blown out of proportion. I

acted like I didn’t trust you, with all the years

we’ve had together.”

“It was my fault for not calling you, too,” I

said, trying to take some of the blame. “After all, a

relationship has two people in it. I didn’t want to

bother you while you were working so hard at

school, but I shouldn’t have completely shut you

out, either.”

She looked up and met my eyes, biting down

on her lip. I wanted to reach out and hold her, to

wrap my arm around her shoulders and tell her it

would be okay, but I was holding Danny in my

arms, and I had zero confidence I could carry him

comfortably with one arm.

“Still, I robbed you of your own son’s first

months over my fears,” she murmured.

“That isn’t your fault,” I said, shaking my

head. “Never think that what you feel is stupid. It

may look a little different in hindsight, but the

emotions were real, or you wouldn’t have walked

out on me as you did. And to be honest, I never

should have let any of it happen in the first place. I

should have been firmer with both my mom and

Rachel.”

“But you didn’t know,” she defended.

“But I should have guessed,” I countered.

“You knew mom wanted me to marry Rachel, and I

still spent time with her in front of you, and without

you, while you knew that. I expect you to have full

trust in me, but that still wasn’t right. I should have

drawn clear boundaries so you wouldn’t for a

moment think I could replace you with anybody.”

That had been stupid on my part. I managed to

do both, but it could have all been too late.

After my talk with Rachel, she had gone crying

to my mom, who had then called me. It was the

same old thing she kept saying before, only instead

of sweeping it all under the rug; I confronted her

about it. Her scheming almost cost me something

precious. Of course, she had stopped entirely when

I told her she was a grandmother, and she had

nearly missed out on meeting her first grandson.

“I want another chance to make things right,

Alessandra,” I continued. “I did hear you say that

you would do so, but I wouldn’t mind hearing you

say it to me. I was confused at that time, and I was

hurting and stressed about everything that was

suddenly thrust on my shoulders. I let Mom

dominate me, and I didn’t speak against her,

because she was hurting just as much as I was. That

was wrong of me, and I’m sorry.”

She smiled. “Why are you the one apologizing?

I have way more to apologize for.”

Like she knew how badly I wanted to touch

her, she shifted closer to my side, and wrapped an

arm around my shoulders, holding onto my arm

with her other hand. She laid her head on my

shoulder.

“If you’re asking me for another chance, the

answer is okay. But can I ask for the same? As long

as we take things one step at a time.”

I chuckled and leaned my head against hers.

“Okay,” I said readily. “And I don’t have a

thing against one step at a time. It’s just perfect for

us.”

Chapter Sixteen

Joshua

Ever since we had our talk, and decided to

give our relationship another try, Alessandra and I

had been getting along well, even better than the

first time.

Aside from meeting up frequently, whenever it

was convenient for the both of us, we got to have

several dates with our son. She even brought him

over to my home where they both slept over for an

evening. It had been pretty eventful. Trent wasn’t

too happy about being removed from his usual

habitat and kept us up in the middle of the night.

Far from finding it annoying, though, I was up

early the next morning to go to work, feeling sleep

deprived, but grinning the entire time. My secretary

and other people stopping by my office gave me

strange looks, because of the broad smile and eye

bags combo.

Everything was going well. Alessandra even

finally took me home to her house, where I met her

parents again. They didn’t hide their displeasure

about our separation, but Alessandra must have

talked to them because they were both accepting of

me.

There was only one thing that kept it all from

being perfect.

“I think I should take you to meet my mom.”

Alessandra looked up, eyes wide. “Huh?”

We were out on another date, this time to the

park, and Trent was with us. It was early morning

on a Saturday, and we were seated at an outdoor

café just at the edge of the park that had opened up

a couple of years ago. I was holding onto Trent

while watching Alessandra eat and having a cup of

coffee, with Danny’s stroller standing beside our

table.

“I want to take you to meet my mom,” I

reworded my statement because she was staring at

me, dumbfounded. “I think it’s about time she

meets you again.”

Alessandra sat back in her chair, her eyes

intent on mine. Her expression was unsettled.

“Um, do you think that’s the best idea?” she

asked, unsure.

I nodded firmly. “Definitely. I haven’t talked to

her since we argued. She’s had more than enough

time to think things through. And this is important if

we’re going to move forward because it’s

something that bothered you before.”

“What if your mom and I just can't get along,

though?”

“I’m not asking you to get along with her. You

can't force some things. But I intend to marry you,

and I would love for her to be at the wedding,

instead of refusing to attend because she still

doesn’t support us.”

Her mouth dropped open, and she gaped at me.

Then, she laughed.

“When did I say I would marry you? I don’t

remember you even asking.”

She was teasing, but there was an undeniably

happy look on her face.

I arched an eyebrow. “The only part of it that’s

still a surprise is the when. I always intended to

marry you, Alessandra. I’m sure I told you

already.”

Her cheeks blushed a lovely pink. “That was

back when we were both in high school; you could

have changed your mind in that time.”

I let Alessandra finish eating. She didn’t give a

confirmation, but I knew she was okay with it. I

paid the bill, then handed Trent back to his mother

so she could feed him, with a blanket covering

them both. While they were busy, I put in a call to

my mom to let her know I wanted to meet her for

lunch, and I’d be bringing a guest.

Then, the three of us went to have fun. Before

we knew it, it was time. We made our way to my

car, and I drove us to my house. The whole drive,

Alessandra was stiff in her seat, though she would

occasionally fidget; she would clasp and unclasp

her hands, tap her fingers on her thighs, or start

restlessly moving her legs around before she

realized she was doing it, then stopped.

I knew it had to be difficult, but we were

already on the way, and she wasn’t saying anything

more about it. With some light traffic on the way,

we made it in a little over half an hour.

“This is my first time being here,” Alessandra

murmured as I stopped the car in front of the gates,

waiting as they slowly pulled open. “It’s way bigger

than Wendy’s place.”

I glanced at her. “It’s your fault, Mom

probably had a hand in it, right?”

She pursed her lips. “Well, she was

disapproving of me from the moment she met me.

She just tolerated me while we were in high school,

and after we graduated, she wouldn’t even do that.

I knew the atmosphere would be awkward.”

We rode up the driveway, leaving the gates to

close behind us. I got out of the car first and moved

to remove Trent from his baby seat in the back.

Then, holding Alessandra’s hand, we walked into

the house.

I had been home recently, and it was where I

grew up, so none of it seemed interesting to me.

Alessandra, however, kept looking around.

“Wow,” she murmured. “It’s bigger than I

thought it would be.”

I chuckled. “Should I take that as a

compliment?”

She stuck out her tongue at me.

I led us to the parlor where mom loved to

spend most of her time, and we found her there. It

was a reasonably large room, with a dining table for

six set near the extensive collection of windows.

On the inside of the room to one corner was a

fireplace, surrounded by a couch, a love seat and

some single seats. There was a larger, more formal

dining room, but when it was just us close family,

we usually dined in here.

Mom was seated on the couch, and when she

noticed us come in, she stood up to receive us.

“Joshua… Alessandra. Please, come in, both

of you.”

I could sense Alessandra’s hesitance. She had

stopped, and when I walked forward, I had to tug

on her hand a little before she would follow me.

“Hey, Mom,” I said, subdued. “Sorry for

intruding.”

Her eyes landed on Alessandra, before quickly

fleeting off. Her expression was composed, but I

thought I saw the emotion in her eyes for a second

that I had never seen my mother display before.

“You could never intrude, Joshua, you know

this will always be your home. Lunch will be served

not too long from now, so would you like to move

over to the table now, or wait?”

I glanced at Alessandra, who just shrugged.

“Let’s sit here first. We can relocate after

they’re done the serving,” I decided.

They both nodded. Mom sat back down, and I

pulled Alessandra over to the love seat with me.

Mom’s eyes fell to the bundle I held

protectively around my chest. I saw her tremble a

little as she took in a deep breath.

“Is…”

Her voice was quiet, and it trembled even on

that one word. I knew what she wanted to ask

though, and I repositioned Danny so that she could

see him better.

“It’s your grandson. Would you like to hold

him?”

She hesitated, before tentatively holding out

her arms.

“Can I?”

When she asked, she was looking at

Alessandra instead of me. I glanced at her as well.

Her expression was carefully blank, but she readily

nodded her acceptance. I got up and moved over to

Mom, and she took Trent into her arms. She looked

at him in awe, and I found myself smiling.

“He looked a lot like you when you were a

baby,” she said, a tiny smile curving her lips. “The

same large deep blue eyes, pale blond hair. It

reminds me so much of your father.”

That last bit was whispered. I could feel

Alessandra tense beside me, and I squeezed the

hand I held in mine. When Mom looked up, her

eyes were misty. When she smiled, her lips

trembled.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Sorry about a lot

of things. I’m sorry that your father will never get

to meet your son, and I’m sorry for the problems I

helped cause between you two. I shouldn’t have

done any of what I did in the past, and

Alessandra… I know I was horrible to you, but I

honestly thought I was doing the best I possibly

could for my son, especially once I was left alone.”

I hadn't seen my mom this way, ever. Even

during the funeral, she had kept calm and relaxed.

That wasn’t to say that she hadn't been affected by

any of it, but Mom wasn’t the kind of person to

quickly show her emotions around others.

We could both tell she was sincere. I glanced

at Alessandra, and her own eyes were looking a

little misty as well.

“I can't say I understand,” Alessandra said.

“Or that I can forgive you for everything

immediately.”

Mom nodded in understanding.

“But,” she continued. “If you don’t mind, I

would like to go one step at a time.”

Chapter Seventeen

Alessandra

I stepped slowly out of the wide-open gates,

ignoring the crowds that moved around me. I was in

a daze, but not so much that I didn’t notice the very

familiar car parked outside. He must have seen me

as well because Joshua stepped out of his car. I

smiled and hurried over to him.

“You’re here,” I chirped, happily throwing

myself into his arms.

Joshua chuckled. “I told you I’d be here for

you, didn’t I? This is an important day for you,

after all. You’re finally going to graduate!

Congratulations.”

He ducked his head, and I tilted mine up to

accept his kiss, but then I mock scowled at him.

“You do know I’m not done, right? The school

part is finished, but I need to prepare for my bar

exam. There’s still a long way before I can practice

law.”

“Don’t worry about that. We’ll all be rooting

for you. And you’re so smart; it shouldn’t take too

long.”

He said it with full confidence, and I knew my

parents would feel the same way. I didn’t think I

deserved it, but I was happy knowing I had it

nonetheless. It hit me again that after nearly two

years I was finally going to graduate from law

school, and I jumped him in another hug as I

laughed.

This was a moment that I had been waiting on

for so long. Graduation day was still some time

ahead, but I had gotten back my final results, and I

confirmed my name was on the graduation list.

Then, I would have to start reading up for the bar

exam, but in the meantime, I planned to look for an

internship position.

It meant less time with Joshua and our son, but

I couldn’t be happier with the outcome.

“Did you bring the little guy with you?” I

asked, pulling away abruptly as I thought of our

son.

I’d had to be focused on school. While I didn’t

let it consume me, it still took up most of my time.

There had been times when my parents couldn’t

look after him while I was busy, but between

Joshua and his mom, Trent had been sought after

while I was working.

Now that I had time, I was going to spoil him

to my heart’s content, until I found a position at a

firm or office, and I’d have less time with him

again.

I looked through the car window but didn’t see

anything in the back seat.

“Sorry,” Joshua said when I looked back to

him in disappointment. “I thought about bringing

him, but then I thought we could go out to eat as a

quick celebration, then I’ll take you home so you

can see him. Wendy’s there, helping Mom look

after the kids.”

I wanted to go and see our son immediately…

but since I had Joshua right in front of me, I didn’t

want to let him go, either. Besides, I had been so

nervous this morning that I left home without

breakfast, and a meal sounded terrific right about

then.

“Where did you have in mind?” I asked.

“Hmm, there’s this nice little café I passed on

the way here. Why don’t we stop by there? It

looked popular, so their stuff has to be good.”

I shrugged. “Fine by me.”

He took my hand and led me around the car,

then opened the passenger side door for me. I

grinned as I sat inside, then watched him hurry

around the front to get in on his side.

Everything with Joshua had been excellent the

past several months. After I put my insecurities to

bed, I had been so much happier than before. I was

a step closer to my dream of being a lawyer, and

the support from my friends, who I’d also

reconnected with, my family, and Joshua, I wasn’t

sure I would have passed so quickly after being

away for nearly two years.

I considered it a miracle.

“Here we are,” Joshua said after not too long.

It was close to the school, though I’d never

noticed before, probably because I hadn't looked

much at the world around me back then. It was a

beautiful, small place with large front glass

windows, brown interior with small tables seated

for two placed outside and inside. As Joshua had

said, the area looked pretty popular, I was almost

worried we wouldn’t get a table, but a waiter saw

us standing in the doorway and led us to a free one.

On the table were the menus. We picked them

up, and I decided to indulge myself just this once. I

picked something a little heavy and added a sweet

drink and dessert. Joshua went along with me and

ordered to match.

“Are you sure you’re going to be able to finish

it all?” he asked after we’d placed our orders.

I giggled. “Don’t underestimate a girl’s

appetite, Joshua. I’ve been holding back on food

because I was anxious, you know? Besides, I don’t

let myself eat like this all the time.”

The food arrived surprisingly fast. We didn’t

even have much time to chat before the waiter was

back with our orders. He set the food and drinks

down, then made a short bowing nod.

“I’ll be back with your dessert later, sir,

ma’am,” he said, then left.

I looked at the plate in front of me. The food

looked so good; I could feel my mouth water.

Impatiently, I picked up my fork, stabbed at some

of the food, and brought it to my mouth. I paused

for a second to take in the different flavors before I

chewed, and I moaned.

“This is amazing,” I muttered, forking some

more. “No wonder this place is so crowded. This

area isn’t exactly lacking in eateries.”

Joshua tried some of his own. “It does taste

good,” he said in agreement. “But try not to eat too

fast, or you’ll choke, all right? And don’t moan, it’s

distracting.”

I felt my cheeks warm in a blush when he

mentioned it. I hadn't meant to do it; it just slipped

out. The food tasted amazing. Though, it could

have only been that I was so hungry that I thought

it was close to the best thing I ever felt.

There wasn’t a lot of talking during lunch, and

when dessert was brought over, I was sorely

tempted to take some home with me.

In the end, I ate it all; then we had to wait for

our new order to be packaged because I decided to

take something home after all.

It wasn’t long before we were back in the car.

“So, what’s the plan?” I asked. “My parents

are going to want to see the papers.”

He glanced at me. “Trent is with Mom, so

we’ll pick him up. Wendy might insist on a little

something, but since we already ate, she won't

force anything. Then, I can take you home later,

and you can tell your parents the good news.”

I hummed. “It sounds like a good plan.”

I was so excited to get back home so I could

tell them. With all the support they had given me, I

wanted to show them the results of years of hard

work to see their reactions.

The stop at his house didn’t take very long. As

expected, Wendy tried to hold us back, but he

quickly shut her down. While I wouldn’t say I was

close with his mom, we were at least more relaxed

around each other. It took barely twenty minutes

before we were back in the car, with Joshua

strapping Trent into his baby seat.

Watching the two of them together always

made me smile, especially since Joshua always

looked so happy around his son. Not to mention

how the two of them looked like so much.

With Danny adequately strapped in, we got

inside and put on our seatbelts. Then, Joshua drove

us out of his family’s compound.

“There was…one more thing I wanted to talk

to you about,” I said as he drove.

He threw a glance my way. “What is it?”

I hesitated. The past several months had

proven that Joshua and I were very much still in

love with each other. It was no longer a question of

whether or not we would stay together, but when

we would take the next step to our future.

After lots of thinking, I felt like I was ready

now.

“I wanted to move back in with you,” I

admitted after a minute. “I’ve been ready for a long

time, and I already spend a lot of time there

anyway. That is…if you’ll have me?”

While we were in college, before he had to

move back home, we’d had a small apartment that

we shared. It was nothing like his penthouse, but I

had gotten used to it along with everything else.

Joshua stopped the car, and I looked up in

surprise to realize we were already home. I hadn't

recognized so much time had passed already.

He turned to me. His hand reached out to cup

my cheek; then he leaned across the seat to press a

quick kiss to my lips.

Joshua grinned. “You can move in any time

you feel like, both of you. I wouldn’t have it any

other way.”

I watched as he stepped out of the car, then

moved to the back to pick up Trent. I got out of the

car and followed him, into the house, and the first

step toward our future together.

Epilogue

Alessandra

I waved goodbye to Mom and Trent, who she

held in her arms, as I left the house. Joshua waited

beside his car, and as he saw me approach, opened

the door for me to go in, before getting inside as

well.

We were silent as Joshua drove. I was happily

waiting for tonight’s surprise. I had no idea where

we’d be going, though since Joshua asked me to

dress fancy, and even had the outfit for tonight

delivered to my doorstep, I knew it had to be

something big.

The car stopped, and he turned to me. “Are

you ready?”

I nodded quickly. “I’ve been waiting for this

for hours,” I admitted.

He hopped out, and I waited for him to come

around and open the door for me. He held his hand

out for me, and I took it. Once I was out of the car,

he locked it with the key fob, then wrapped my

hand around his elbow and led me inside the

building.

It was a restaurant I’d never been to before.

Joshua talked to the host about his reservation. I

was surprised, and yet not, when we ended up in a

large room with one table in the middle set for two.

There were string lights hung on the walls around

the room, and there were lit candles on the table.

“Wow,” I murmured.

“I’m glad you like it.”

We sat down. Food had already been brought

to the table. The man that led us to the room

uncovered the plates, then opened the wine and

poured it for us, before leaving.

“Why don’t we have a toast?” Joshua said.

He picked up his glass, and while I was

confused, I picked mine as well and held it out.

“Toast to what?” I asked.

“To…another good year?” he offered, then

chuckled. I was sure it was just my imagination that

it sounded a little nervous. “To our, and our baby’s,

future.”

We clinked glasses and sipped the wine. I

licked my lips, the sweet taste clinging to my

tongue.

“You should go ahead and eat. This is only part

one of the surprises, after all.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Is that so?”

He smiled but didn’t answer.

I had no trouble digging into the food. It was

served all pretty like, the way you’d expect at an

expensive, five-star restaurant. The food not only

looked good, but it also tasted divine and was

perfectly paired with the wine. We talked little

during the meal, not because I didn’t want to or I

was too preoccupied, but Joshua didn’t seem much

as if he wanted to talk.

Almost like they’d timed it, just when we’d

finished our dinner, the door to the private room

opened, and a waiter walked inside, pushing a tray,

different from the man that had shown us the place.

He carried another covered dish, and I wondered

what else he could add. If it was more food, I didn’t

think I could manage taking more.

He replaced our used dishes with the covered

tray but didn’t uncover it as he walked back out.

“What’s under there?” I asked, curious.

Joshua arched an eyebrow. Then, he reached

to pick up the lid, and underneath were flowers.

I was surprised for a moment, but then I

laughed.

“Is this a second dessert?” I asked, teasing.

“Are these edible flowers?”

Joshua snorted a laugh, then shook his head.

“Uh, no. That’s not what this is. It’s something

else entirely.”

He stood up, and I watched as he picked up

the flowers. Then, he rounded the table to come to

my side. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but then

he went down on one knee, presenting me with the

flowers, and I gasped.

“Joshua,” I whispered, gently taking the

flowers.

He smiled. “I did tell you the only surprise

waiting for us was when,” he said gently, reaching

inside his jacket pocket. “I was nervous when I

planned this whole thing, so I wanted you to be

surprised.

I pressed a hand to my mouth as I felt my eyes

sting. I stayed silent, waiting. Out of his pocket, he

pulled a small black box that he opened and held

out to me.

“Alessandra,” he started, his voice clear. “I

love you, and our son, more than anything else in

this world. Would you do me the honor of marrying

me?”

I didn’t even have to stop to think. I nodded

quickly, and it took a few seconds before I could

find my voice to give a verbal reply.

“Yes. Yes, Joshua, a thousand times, yes!”

We reached for each other at the same time,

meeting in the middle in a wet, ferocious kiss that

left us breathless in seconds. Then Joshua rose and

tugged me up with him.

“Come home with me, Alessandra,” he

whispered.

I let out a happy laugh. “How many times do

you want to hear me say yes tonight?”

He grinned. “As many times as possible!”

We rushed out of the restaurant. I hadn't seen

him pay, but I didn’t doubt he’d thought ahead. It

was only a fleeting thought that disappeared the

moment we were out of the building. Joshua had

parked the car close, and we practically jumped

inside, then he drove us back to his apartment

building. The whole time, I had to keep my hands

clasped in my lap so I wouldn’t try to reach for

him.

I have no idea how we both managed it, but

somehow we did. When we stopped at his building,

we hurried inside, then to the elevator. We stayed

apart, up until we made it to the penthouse, and he

unlocked the door.

Then, we practically attacked each other.

Hands met bodies and lips crashed together in

a rough kiss. Joshua kicked the door closed then

backed me into it, his hands tight on my waist. He

rocked his hips against me, and I could feel his

erection pressing against me.

“Somebody’s eager,” I said, breathless when

we broke off the kiss.

“I’ve wanted to rip that dress off you since I

saw you walk out of your house in it,” was his

reply.

We went to each other’s clothes. I shoved his

coat off his shoulders, then undid his tie and shirt

buttons to feel his chest, before finally undoing his

belt and fly. He had it way more comfortable. All

he had to do was destroy the zip in the back and tug

it low enough to free my breasts, then raise the

bottom of my skirt and spread my legs apart with

his knee. One of his hands fondled my breasts,

while the other teased at my sex between my

thighs. Our mouths touched, then parted, then

touched without too long breaks in between.

Then, Joshua wrapped a hand around one of

my thighs and lifted my leg around his hip. I was

leaning entirely against the door, with his body

pressing against me helping to keep me up. I felt the

blunt head of his cock tease at my sex, pressing

against my clit, before lowering to tease at my

entrance.

“In me,” I demanded, digging my nails into his

shoulder.

He did as I wanted. I let out a sigh, stilling

momentarily as I felt him slide inside me.

“Joshua,” I gasped. “Yes!”

He growled in his throat, and he moved.

I let out a sharp cry when, with a thrust of his

hips, his cock slid in and out of me, causing

fantastic friction that made my toes curl. I wrapped

my arms around him, holding on tightly as he

fucked me against the door, moans, and cries

spilling out of me as I tried to move in time with his

movements. I could feel the pleasure build and

build, and just when I thought I would shake apart,

I came, with Joshua right behind me.

We clung to each other, bodies rocking slowly

through our orgasms, until we went still, with the

both of us slumped against the door.

Then, Joshua pecked a kiss on my forehead

and pulled away. My legs trembled so hard I

wondered if I could stay on my feet, his hold on my

waist keeping me on my feet.

“Do you want to continue this in the

bedroom?” he asked.

I smiled. “Do you have to ask? Yes.”

Joshua grinned, then ducked down and picked

me up in a princess carry. I let out a yep, then a

laugh, as he carried me as fast as possible up the

steps and to his bedroom.

###The End###

More Books by Ted

Evans…

About From
Stepbrother to Daddy…

Liam was the moody, bad boy of our town.

I should have kept my distance.
But I couldn’t.
Even though he made my life hell.
I wanted to get out of our small town and the only
way to do that was to get good grades.
I knew that it was wrong.
I knew that he would get up to no good.
My mind said no, but my body kept saying yes.
One night changed everything!
It got worse when I found out that he was going to
be my stepbrother and the father of my baby…

Author’s Note:
It’s the whole series in one box-set with bonus
scenes at the end of the book.
Have no fear, there’s no cheating in the book!

Chapter One

Chapter One

I hated her so much. Chanel had dragged me

to one of those parties that the popular girls and

boys went to on the last Friday of every month. It

was some kind of crazy ritual that every kid in

school dreamed about being invited to.

Not me.

I had a dream, and it was to get an education

and get out of town. Don’t get me wrong; there’s

nothing wrong with the town of Small Borne, but

there’s more to life than one place and I want to

experience it.

And that’s why my body, mind, and soul were

focused on college.

Not like Chanel; she only had her body, mind

and soul focused on Dwayne, the all-star

quarterback that was going places. Just like me.

“Adele, can you walk faster? We’re late!”

Chanel half-whispered and half-screeched at me.

“I would if I didn’t have this stupid skirt on,

and make-up that’s a second skin on my face.”

Okay, so it was a bit of an exaggeration. The

make-up wasn’t stopping me from seeing, but I was

only keeping her company and I didn’t want to be

anywhere near Dwayne’s best friend, Liam.

“Oh, don’t be silly. If we get there too late

then they may hook up with some other girls.”

She’d said the wrong thing. But we’d had

already taken our bikes and were already almost at

the secret spot. I never understood why they called

it that, when everyone knew how to get there. Then

we changed out of our jeans into skirts and she

touched up our make-up in the dark, using our cell

cells as lights.

I didn’t even want to know what I really

looked like.

I doubt I looked sexy. More scary. But I did it

just to make her happy.

“Isn’t hanging around your dad’s barber shop

and waiting for Dwayne to come in every week

enough for you?”

I put my hands on my hips thinking that

maybe she’d get the message and just stick to her

usual routine of trying to get the guys’ attention.

“No!”

She sighed, that long exaggerated thing that

she did whenever she wanted to make a point. One

that I didn’t want to hear.

“You know that it’s nearly Prom don’t you?”

I couldn’t see her, but the sarcasm in her

voice was enough to put me off going any further.

“Besides you don’t want to stay at home and

listen to Henry and your mom making out do you?”

I shook my head, “No way. Why did she

have to date him, out of all the men in town?”

“And we know that ever though since your

dad died, you’ve still not got over it. I’m sure your

mom dating has been hard on you.”

“It was at first, but it’s been five years. I

know that Mom has to move on eventually. She had

to work for the first time in her life since he died

and she’s managed to pick herself up. It’s just why

she had to date him. Henry’s fine. It’s his son,

Liam, that has issues. Big issues. I don’t even

understand why any girl would even hook up with

him. The guy’s a mental case.”

I didn’t know if I was trying to convince her

or myself.

“Is that why whenever he walks in the room,

you go bright red and you can’t get keep your eyes

off him?” She took my hand, “I told you, your

secret’s safe with me. I know you have a crush on

him.”

“Now, you make me sound about five. I don’t

have a crush. The guy’s a jerk.”

“I know he took your homework, handed it in

and said you copied him.”

“Like that was likely? As if I would ever

copy him.”

“And then Liam turned up at your date

saying that you asked him to come and save you

from Pete.”

“And I really liked Pete. I couldn’t even

explain to him that Liam’s a jerk and how could I

ask two men out at the same time?”

“I don’t even know why you asked Pete out

in the first place?”

I sighed, because we’d had this conversation

so many times. I’d always left out the part when we

were in the cafeteria and Liam came up to me and

said that we should go to his place and get it out of

our systems. He accused me of having a thing for

him. I went out of my way to prove that I had

nothing for him, by asking Boring Pete out. He was

the safe option. Until Liam turned up, I was kind of

bored. Everyone is whenever Pete starts to talk, but

he’s such a nice guy. It’s just that no one wants to

talk about Star Trek all night, apart from Trekkies,

and no one wants to look at his collection of

monuments via photos or the stash that he keeps in

his backpack, again apart from Trekkies. After that

night, he went and asked a Trekkie fan out and

they’re happy in love and I’m just…

“Anyway, let’s just get it over and done

with.”

I picked up my speed thinking about that

night with Liam. There was another part I always

missed out. Once Pete was out of the way, Liam

held me in his arms and kissed me, then he broke

away saying, “Pete could never kiss you like that.”

He had a point, but he didn’t even ask for

permission; then again I didn’t protest. I watched as

he left me like a jilted bride on my doorstep after

giving me the kiss of the year. Shit, it was my first

kiss and it wasn’t just that it made my panties wet.

It just made me want him even more. But, I’ll never

confess it to Chanel, and certainly not him….

nearly

90,000 words for free with Kindleunlimited or purchase for

$5.99. Click here to grab your copy!

About Virtually

Bossy…

My virtual assistant is going to find out

who’s boss…

When my PA quits, I can’t say I’m sorry. She

was as incompetent in the office as she was in the

bedroom.I need to stay the hell away from

virgins.One f**k and they think that I’m ready to

walk them down the aisle!

HR are on my case, and I can’t hire another

assistant.

I own the fucking corporation, but I can’t get

decent help… …apart from Olivia.

She’s been my backup assistant for years,

working remotely in middle of nowhere.

I’ll pay her double, give her days off,

anything to meet this deadline.

I just don’t need another distraction.

I’ve never met Olivia, but I have a feeling

she’s a middle-aged spinster with a dozen cats.

Perfect for keeping me and my cock out of trouble.

Trouble is I got it all wrong. Olivia walks into

my office, and she’s an emerald-eyed bombshell.

I may be in charge, but Olivia’s holding all

the cards until this deadline is done.

Then I’m going to bend her over my desk and

show her what a good boss I can be.

Author's Note:

It's short and steamy with enough sexiness for

you to enjoy this novella. It is standalone, and

there's no cheating.

Chapter One

Ross

“What do you fucking want?”

I shouldn’t have been so crude and I

shouldn’t have shouted at her. But I was tired.

Scarlett was my secretary, NOT my fucking wife.

I’d made the mistake of fucking her once and I’ve

been repeatedly that mistake over the course of the

last week.

She was fun.

The kind that got a kick out of fooling

around, but she killed the fun the second night

when she asked me to hold her until she fell asleep.

After I’d already got out of bed and was going to

sleep in my real bedroom, not the one that I’d just

fucked her in.

The second time, I made sure that I fucked

her at her place. Just so that I could leave.

She still didn’t get the hint.

That’s when the fun stopped and I knew that

I had to get rid off her.

There was just one problem. I had a deadline

and until it was met. She needed to stay working for

me as my secretary.

“I just feel as if I’ve been used…” she purred

as she got closer to me.

Really?

“Like you just want me for my body and nothing

else.”

She started to pout and I could see that she

was up to something, because she left the door

wide open. We were in my office and she was

talking about matters of the heart. Only for me they

were matters for my dick and I could tell that she

was getting attached. This wasn’t going to go down

well, not by a long shot. I knew that she wanted

everyone outside to hear. I didn’t need the staff to

know that I’d done the same thing again.

The same fucking stupid thing that I’d been

warned about.

I stood up quickly and closed the door. Then

I turned to comfort her. Wondering what would

happen if she left and stopped working as my

secretary. And, even worse, what if she went to tell

HR that I really couldn’t keep my dick in my pants?

Then I was truly fucked. The employment agency

would be on my case and could shut the company

down for sexual harassment. The way Scarlett was

behaving she would be more than willing to speak

to them about my bad behavior.

“You need to think about what this all

means.”

I was fucking stalling, thinking of a way to try

and get a distraction. I was a fucking CEO. Built-up

my company from scratch. Yet, when it came to

matters of the heart, I couldn’t think. That’s why I

usually fucked and worried about the consequences

later.

“What?”

She was right, where was I going with this?

My palms were wet from trying to calm her

down. My voice was raspy from running to close

the door and back to her. Then to make matters

worse, my head was fucking spinning out of

control. I had an important meeting in around

twenty minutes. When did my life become so

fucking complicated and when did I lose control of

everything?

“I know you think that I don’t appreciate

you,” I stared into her sea-blue eyes.

“But I do. You’re beautiful.”

I stroked her long fair hair, thinking that

blondes really do have more fun. Once again, I was

distracted, because my hands moved to her breasts.

Those big thick melons that could feed me for a

fucking month. They were so damn juicy that I

found myself opening up her shirt. Not fucking

opening it, but ripping it open and popping those

buttons as my mouth wanted to suck and my dick

wanted to fuck.

“You’re doing it again,” she protested. She

never complained before!

“You’re looking at my body and wanting to

take me.”

“Shit, your tits, I’ve never had any woman

with tits as big as yours…”

I was down to her bra, but she had a

scaffolding bra on that no one under forty should

ever wear. She used to wear sexy bras, which left

nothing to the imagination. The type that just about

covered her nipple and gave me easy access.

She pushed me away, but like a hungry wolf

getting ready for a feeding frenzy. I ignored the

warning signs and all I could think about was

sucking her tits.

“Don’t do that,” I growled as I moved closer

to her.

“See? You only want me for my body. I asked

you one question. Answer me, Ross Hamilton!”

She had her hands on her hips and she wasn’t

messing around. I had a feeling that my dick was on

hold.

“Do you LOVE me?”

Oh God, not that debate again. My cock was

swaying from left-to-right like a pendant, as I began

to realize that this could be the end of a beautiful

relationship. My heart was racing out of control,

debating whether to lie or not. My mouth did

something completely different.

It opened and shut like the shutters in my

office did whenever I had company. Whenever I

wanted people to know what I was up to, I would

leave them open so that I could spy on them too.

Whenever they were closed, that was when it was

none of their fucking business.

Like now.

I took a deep breath.

I was a billionaire.

I needed to keep her as a secretary.

I couldn’t afford to lose her right then.

Her eyes were wide open, waiting for my

response.

Okay, here goes nothing. I’m going to say it.

I’m going to do it for the first time in my life.

Those three words would stop me from being sued

and having to deal with all sorts of shit that I hated

doing in public.

I was a billionaire. I had built my company

from scratch. I could fucking do this.

She moved closer to me as I smiled. I was

about to say the words that she fucking wanted to

hear.

Even if it was a lie, she was a woman. She

didn’t care about the truth; she just needed to hear

those three little words.

I was going to do this.

I fucking needed to.

My mouth opened one time. I was so close to

her that her tits were rubbing on my chest. My dick

was on board with the situation and everything was

going according to plan.

“Yes?” said Scarlett, nodding her head like a

bobbing doll.

And then I just blurted it out.

“No.”

My dick screamed “You fool!” and my racing

heart went back to its regular rhythm. The

headache that I’d had was now passing. She lifted

her hand and slapped me across the face. She didn’t

even bother to button up her shirt. She left my door

wide open for everyone to see that I was about to

seduce her; that I really couldn’t keep my dick in

my pants. I slumped down on my desk, thinking

that despite everything it was for the best.

It was the right thing to do.

There was just one problem.

I never did the right thing when it comes to

matters of the heart.

I must be getting old—or fucking soft—and it

sucks!

I patted my pants, where my dick was still

half hard.

I whispered, “Down boy.” I was going to be

having so many fucking cold showers from now on;

it was fucking frightening. Yet, I felt better that I

didn’t have to deal with Scarlett and all her

dramatic shit…

purchase it for $2.99 by clicking this link!

About Single Daddy In

The Club…

Hunter James is back in town, this time as a

single dad…

My single parent group is the last place in

the world I expect to bump into the man who broke

my heart.

The problem is Hunter James is not just any

man. He’s tall, dark, and as hot as sin. I need to go

to church and pray that he’ll keep away from me.

His irresponsible, one-night stand has left

him with a little girl, and for some reason, he thinks

that it’s my problem.

I should laugh at him.

He deserves it.

But he charms the group into letting him

join and now I’m stuck looking into his blue eyes.

He turns my parenting group into a dating one as he

invites all his single friends to join. The last thing

they need is another man in their lives. It’s a shame

that I’m the only one who sees that. They turn up

to the meeting and leave one-by-one.

Leaving me alone with Hunter James and

he’s not trying to get some single parenting advice.

No.

Hunter James has something much dirtier in

mind!

Author's Note:

It's short and steamy with enough sexiness

for you to enjoy this novella. It is standalone, and

there's no cheating!

Single Daddy In The Club is a 25,000-word

novella, suitable for mature readers that love to

read a bit of filth with a twist of comedy.

Chapter One

Hunter

She’d been so fucking hard to find. Talk

about disappearing and then coming back to the

place where it all started. I knew the moment that I

saw Nia’s name on the register that she would be

the one heading up the group.

Back in high school, she was the independent

one. The one that I said was getting in the way of

my game. She was supposed to say that things

could work and that she loved me. She never did.

She just kissed me on the cheek and wished me

luck.

Just like that.

That was when I knew that I had to get out of

the relationship. She didn’t think about me the

same way that I thought about her. That was

evident.

I’d spent the last four years hoping that she’d

change her mind, but she never did.

I loved Nia back then, and I still feel the

same way about her now. It’s as if she hasn’t aged

at all. The same long blonde hair, perfectly cut and

her hips, shit they used to grind me all night, and I

never wanted her to stop. Now she’s just like a fine

wine. Matured and in control.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She

blurted out as soon as she saw my face.

“I came to join the club. Single parent’s

club.”

She shook her head vigorously.

“Hi. Hunter, how are you? Long time no

see.” That was the greeting I was expecting; not the

unwelcome one that I received.

“It’s a single mom’s club. No men allowed!”

“I didn’t see the flyer saying only women. In

fact, that’s sexist. I could sue you for

discrimination.”

She waved a finger at me; the one that I’d

loved to suck and says, “Look if this is some

game…”

But then she was cut short by this slim little

Hispanic woman who had lust written all over her

face. “He’s right. It doesn’t say, ‘single moms.’ It

says, ‘single parents.’ Hi, my name’s…” she was

just about to introduce herself, but Nia cuts her

short. She was mad and fucking crazy.

How did I know?

Because she was waving her finger and

tapping her left foot at the same time. Damn, some

things never changed. That was the same thing that

she used to do back in high school.

“We couldn’t discriminate, but it was clear

from the word go, that this club was only for single

moms.”

I brushed past her, trying to get through the

damn door. “Ladies, do you mind if I join?”

There was a wave of silence and then a

chorus of, “No.”

Before they could even finish telling me all

the reasons that I can stay, and even join, Nia was

at it again.

“I’m the founder of this club. The owner. The

one that does the memberships and I say no.”

The Hispanic lady moved to my side and got

so close that she could easily be a second skin.

“Well, this is a democratic society, and I

think that you're a bit sexist. We could do with

some fresh blood.”

I wondered if she means for the club or

bedroom?

Either way, I was in, and there was nothing

she could do about it. The victory is mine for the

taking.

“Besides at my daughter’s school, there’s

some single dads in there too. I could ask them to

join. You know, to make up the numbers,” I’m

addressing the question to the crowd, and I can tell

that it’s working well.

“You guys sound as if you know each other.

Why would you turn your friend away?” a brunette

stood up and her question was directed at Nia.

Nia ignored her question, which was weird

because she always had an answer for everything.

Maybe she’d changed, just a little bit.

The crowd cheered and encouraged me to

invite some of my single-dad friends. I smiled and

used my charm, which I knew worked every single

time. Because, as usual, I got exactly what I

wanted. There was just one problem, I had no

single-dad friends, but I knew tomorrow at the

school gates, I would find them. How hard could it

be?

“Don’t even think this means that you have a

chance with me again! We’re over. You got it?”

I nodded slyly because she misunderstood.

I’m not joining to be part of the group.

I was joining to be more than her friend.

I wanted to take up where we left off, and

one thing was for sure -- I always got what I

wanted. This time I wasn’t taking no for an answer

to her coming back to me…

read for free with

Kindleunlimited or purchase for $2.99 by clicking this link!

Quarterback’s Baby

About Quarterback’s
Baby…

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas which

would be great, if I wasn’t carrying the

Quarterback’s baby!

Sebastian Blake is my best friend’s little brother. He
used to be the skinny kid who hid behind glasses
and braces. Now, he’s all grown up, and one of the
leading quarterbacks for the Giants.
As a sports physician, it’s my job to make sure that
Sebastian is in peak condition to play next season,
but he’s had one injury after another and has fallen
into depression. When I arrive at his door, he
doesn’t know who I am, thinking his friends sent
him a ‘surprise’ to cheer him up.
And now, somehow, I’ve found myself doing home
visits and getting on a plane with his team to head
to Vegas.
They say, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
That would be true if, after Vegas, I hadn’t found
out that I was carrying his baby…

Author’s Note:
Quarterback's baby is steamy with enough
sexiness for you to enjoy this novel. It's the
whole box-set in this special edition of the
Friends to Lovers series.
Have no fear; there’s no cheating in the book!
It has the same content as Falling for My Best
Friend’s Brother, just with a little makeover.

Chapter One

Sebastian

“Guys, I’m not in the mood to party!”

I sounded like my mom: always whining and

complaining, but the guys weren’t listening. I

wasn’t in a party mood for real. I hadn’t played ten

games in the last season and the way I was feeling,

I didn’t know if I would play again.

I was going to be one of those quarterbacks

that retired early. Shit, I was only twenty-eight, yet

I felt like an old man. Too scared to run, pass, or do

anything in case something else snapped. The guys

were acting nice about it. Telling me to get a grip

and that it was all about the game, but I was so

fucking scared of doing anything, including sex!

“You need to get back out there. What

happened to Casanova Sebastian?” Mason said as

he passed me another beer.

He fucking died when I spent more time

watching the game than actually being part of the

action.

I took a swig of the beer, I had kept telling

him I didn’t want and would end up drinking all the

same. As they say, actions speak louder than words,

and I may have been saying no but that didn’t stop

me from drinking it. He sat down on the deck next

to me while the rest of the guys: Paul, Kent, Lucy,

and Mia were partying in my pool.

The music was way too loud, they were

drinking too much, and it was still early. It wasn’t

even dark yet. I was sure that by the time night fell,

one of my neighbors would be banging on the door

complaining about the noise and shit.

“Yeah man I would if I could. Watch out

Kent, you nearly slipped!” I pointed out as he ran

by the side of the pool. That was all I needed: one

of them to be injured and out of the season. Coach

Thomas had already warned them like he did every

year to take it easy out of season. Last year, just at

the start of the season they were hardly any

fullbacks, running backs or quarterbacks. We were

all injured one way or another as soon as we

finished the first game.

The guys were on a high. They had nearly

made it to the Super Bowl, and I wasn’t part of it.

They were happy to have gotten so far in the game,

but I just ended up sitting watching them like a

frigging chump. There’s nothing worse than being

part of a team and never getting to play. Since

2013, I’ve had one injury after another. I know that

it won’t be long until that’s it, I’ll have to go into

early retirement. The game’s got a lot more

competitive. Guys are bumping and thumping us as

if we’re boxing bags, just to get a win.

“You can’t give up man; I won’t let you,”

Kent screamed over as he grabbed his cheerleading

girlfriend, Mia. He had a lot to be happy about. Not

only was Mia hot, but she was like the Auntie of

the cheers. Mia kept them all in line and always had

time for everyone, especially her leading man,

Kent. They knew each other from high school.

Most guys cheated on their girlfriends or got bored

as soon as they hit the big time, but not Kent. He

had stayed true to her and even though I didn’t

understand the whole relationship thing, I found it

kind of neat.

“Yeah, yeah,” I sighed as I sipped on the cool

beer, thinking that I needed something stronger just

to match their energy levels. It was the end of the

season and they were taking a break. Mine had

started months ago, after I’d had surgery on my

back. As soon as I started physiotherapy I felt as if

the problem with my transverse had come back to

haunt me, as my knee was giving way when I

headed back to the gym. I hadn’t told a soul; I just

made out that my back hadn’t completely healed.

Maybe Mason was right, and it was all in my mind.

So far the doc hadn’t found anything wrong, but I

just didn’t feel the same.

“Take a swig of this,” Kent said as he handed

me his flask. Shit, he only had his trunks on, but

he’d managed to grab a flask out of nowhere.

“Errh, where the fuck had you been keeping

that?”

He ignored me and headed back into the

pool. It had been a while since I’d touched gin,

because my cabinet was like a fucking pharmacy. I

had so many damn painkillers and meds in there

with the warning, “Not to be taken with alcohol,”

that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a

drink. Even when I came off them, I steered clear

of drinking just in case I had a relapse and I had to

restart my meds.

I started to think positive thoughts as the

burning sensation of the gin passed and happiness

took over. Before I knew it, I was jumping in the

pool waiting for my other surprise. Mason had said

that tonight would entail a few friends and a

surprise.

Mason, if anything, was predictable. I knew

that by surprise he meant a stripper!

I took a few laps and splashed around joining

in the party. The other girls must have had a little

too much to drink, because they lost their bikini top

as the night progressed. Someone entered from the

back of the house.

I saw her in heels walking toward the pool as

if she owned the fucking place. She had a Giants

baseball cap and a tight black dress with buttons

right down the center, that made me just want to

pop them open and reveal what was underneath. I

could tell her body was hot. That dress was so

fucking tight.

Shit, she had curves that all the cheers

couldn’t compete with.

Hips like J-Lo.

Breasts like Beyoncé.

And fucking lips that made me want her on

her knees sucking my cock until next season.

I couldn’t see her eyes, just a few strands of

hair that were loosely hanging from the cap.

She made everyone pay attention as soon as

she shouted my name.

Mason didn’t just get me a surprise; he gave

me a fucking treat of the century. I shouted at the

top of my lungs, “Girl just get over here and get

naked!”

to be continued, free at all leading e-stores.

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One Last Time

Timing was never on our side…

He was my first love back in college.

I thought that he would propose, that he

wanted me to be his forever.

But he didn’t and I turned my back on him and

moved on.

Six years later and he sees me in a wedding

dress.

He thinks that finally, I’ve got the one thing

that I’ve always wanted....marriage.

I want to be his bride, and only his forever.

I’m pretending to be a fake bride.

Wondering if maybe just maybe he’ll want us

to be together forever, one last time.

Author's Note:

This is a standalone novel, with no cheating

and a happy ever after romance story.

Chapter One

Brooklyn

A loud ring interrupted my sleep, but I closed

my eyes and ignored it, rolling over in bed and

pulling my covers on top of my head. I wasn’t

ready to wake up yet and I had time off from work,

so I intended to at least sleep in. But the loud

ringing didn’t stop, and I groaned.

“Go away already! It’s too damn early…”

Finally, the ringing stopped. I was just about to

settle back in, when I heard a door slam open, and

a loud voice called out.

“Chief! Hey, chief! You better not still be in

bed or I will beat your ass black and blue!”

At the sound of the voice, I could only wake

up. Pushing myself so I was sitting up in bed, I

rubbed my eyes and yawned. A moment later, my

bedroom door was opening, and my friend, Nora,

stepped inside. She had a heavy scowl on her face

as she stood there with arms on her hips.

“Brooklyn! Don’t be lazy today of all days! If

I’d known you would be like this, I would have

made you stay with me! I’ve been waiting for an

hour already.”

I narrowed my eyes at her and grumbled,

“Noisy. This is why I didn’t want to stay with you

in the first place, okay? You’re so damn annoying

when you’re excited. What time is it?”

“It’s almost eight in the morning,” Nora said

with a huff, folding her arms over her chest.

My eyes widened. “Wait, really?” I looked

around the room, then saw my cell on the

nightstand to the right. I picked it up, and sure

enough, it was eight minutes to eight. “What do

you mean you’ve been waiting on me for an hour?

Just how early did you even wake up…?”

The soft, fluffy bed was calling to me, but

seeing Nora standing there eyeing me like she was

ready to toss me out of it, I reluctantly got up. I

pushed off the sheets and slid my legs off the side,

standing up and wobbling over to the bathroom. I

was staying in my friend’s apartment for free, much

to the annoyance of Nora who wanted me to stay

with her.

“We’ve got our appointment at nine thirty,

Brooklyn. We absolutely can't be late, okay? Do

you know how difficult it was to even get that

appointment?”

I shot a dark look at her over my shoulder.

“It’s not like it’s that far, Nora. And besides, there’s

nothing wrong with you going ahead and calling me

to come after. You don’t actually need me to hold

your hand…”

“Of course, I do. Why else would I have had

you come here? Because we’re friends?”

Her face was full of derision, but I just rolled

my eyes and didn’t take her seriously.

Nora was my best friend, and even in the six

years since I’d left New York, that status hadn't

changed. We were used to talking to each other, so

I knew no matter what was still my best friends.

Even with the distance between us, we’d visited

and talked often, but this was my first time back in

New York since I left, and it was because Nora was

getting married.

I knew she was dating, but when I heard her

boyfriend proposed, I was surprised, seeing as they

´d only dated for three months, and here I was, a

couple months after the proposal, Nora’s appointed

chief bridesmaid.

I was with him. The one whose name I try not

to say out loud for years, part of me was envious

when Nora said that she’d only been dating a few

months before she got the magic ring.

As I walked into the bathroom and stripped to

have a quick shower, my thoughts went back to six

years ago. Back when Nora and I graduated, and I

was the happiest woman in the world…only, it

didn’t last.

Quickly finishing up with the shower, I

grabbed a towel to wrap around my hair, and the

other around my body, leaving the bathroom and

leaving those thoughts behind as well.

It’s all in the past, I tried to tell myself. It was

just being back in New York that was making my

thoughts of the past stronger.

In the bedroom, Nora had made herself at

home on the bed. She also had an outfit laid out for

me, which meant she’d gone through my things. I

looked at the dress she’d picked for me, and

frowned.

“There’s no way I’m wearing a dress that

short,” I said, eyeing her maxi dress clad body

pointedly. “New York is far too cold for that.”

“If you weren’t planning on wearing it, then

why did you even bring it?” she retorted.

“I packed that for special occasions, not for

going out with you to pick your wedding dress. I

have some jeans, I’ll just put on a pair.”

She pursed her lips, but didn’t say anything as

she watched me put the dress back in my suitcase

and pulled out a pair of jeans, a white top, and a

leather jacket. I stared at her until she sighed and

got off the bed to leave me to get dressed.

“What are you being so shy for? I’ve already

seen all there is to see,” she complained.

“It’s been six years, what if something’s

changed, huh?” I challenged. “I could have gotten a

piercing or a tattoo or something.”

Nora paused and looked back at me. “Really?”

She looked curiously, but I pushed her out of

the bedroom. Like hell I would do something so

crazy. Not only was I very afraid of physical pain,

even with all the emotional pain I left New York

with, it was never enough to do something so

reckless, no matter how drunk I got.

I dressed up quickly and met Nora in the living

room. I wanted to go to the kitchen and whip up

something to eat, but she just grabbed me and

impatiently dragged me outside.

“ Nora, I haven’t eaten anything,” I whined.

“Doesn’t matter, we can get something on the

way.”

Her voice was a mix of anxiety and eagerness.

So, I let her do as she pleased and smiled secretly

behind her back.

The real reason I wasn’t staying with Nora,

was because I knew she would need some time to

herself. She was excited to be getting married, but

she was just as equally anxious, which was why I’d

had to take a couple weeks off work and come be

with her as she finished the preparations for her

hasty wedding. If I stayed with her, she’d keep me

awake all night talking her anxiety and excitement

out, and we wouldn’t get anything done.

There was also how she kept waking up too

early and expecting me to follow her everywhere. It

was my first time off from work in a while, yet

looking after an overly excited Nora took more out

of me than my job did.

We did stop by somewhere to have some

coffee and muffins, then headed to the bridal store

to look at wedding dresses. We were a bit early for

the appointment, but since the store didn’t have

any prior appointments, it wasn’t a problem. The

attendant that met us led us to some seats that were

situated around one of the platforms where women

stood on display with their dresses, and handed us a

portfolio.

“Since you didn’t make any special

arrangements before,” the attendant explained.

“Please look over these dresses and let me know

which style works for you. We have these all on

hand, though we might need to adjust the size for

you…”

“No, it’s all right,” Nora said quickly. “I want

the size I specified before.”

The attendant hesitated, but finally nodded and

stepped aside.

Nora and I started looking through the

portfolio.

“Hey, Brooklyn! Come look at this one, isn’t it

pretty? Oh, this one, too! And this one!”

I rolled my eyes as she kept exclaiming at each

photo, but I had to admit they all looked beautiful.

After ten minutes of her gushing over everything,

she picked out a few she liked, and from those, I

helped her pick from those what she would look

best in. When we were ready, we called the

attendant back so Nora could show her the dresses

we wanted.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” she said with a firm

nod, and turned around to leave.

Nora fidgeted beside me, her leg bouncing

uncontrollably as she twisted her hands together.

Seeing her so obviously nervous, I put my hand on

top of hers and gave a light squeeze.

“Honey, if you keep acting this nervous I’m

going to wonder if you really want to marry this

boyfriend of yours,” I joked.

She looked up at me in surprise, as if she’d

forgotten my presence for a moment, then let out a

light laugh.

“Of course I want to marry him, Brooklyn! I

know it hasn’t even been a year yet… but Paul just

makes me so happy, when he proposed, how could

I possibly say no?”

“He hasn’t officially given you a ring yet,” I

said with lips pursed in disapproval.

“It’s not his fault,” Nora defended earnestly.

“Paul’s been having a tough time at work so money

is tight for him. I actually met him when he was

about to get fired, but he managed to fight to keep

it. I’m not in such a hurry to get an engagement

ring, he promised me one before the wedding

ceremony, anyway. And even if I don’t get one, a

wedding ring would suffice for me.”

I sighed and patted her hands. I wasn’t so sure

about this soon to be husband of hers. She’d spoken

of him a lot, but the times I got to meet him were so

few. I had been with her for the past four days

already, and I’d only met the guy once and both

times very briefly. Also, I didn’t know him well, so

I couldn’t say I trusted him, but I definitely trusted

Nora.

The attendant came back before I could think

too much about it.

“Here you go, ma’am,” the attendant called.

Nora had turned before I did, and her eyes lit

up. When I turned and caught sight of the dress…I

gasped.

“Nora, this looks so amazing,” I whispered,

getting up to go and see the dress. I reached my

hand to touch it, but didn’t dare, it looked so

amazing and delicate…

“Try it on.”

My head whirled around to face Nora who was

still seated calmly, watching me with clear eye. For

a moment, I thought I heard her wrong.

“What…did you say?”

She smiled and waved a hand at me. “Try it on

already,” she said insistently. “I want to view the

dress on you. Brooklyn, not only are you my chief,

you also picked out this dress. Don’t tell me you

wouldn’t wear something you picked out for me?”

Nora had a scowl on her face, but she was still

smiling. Not that she needed to for me to know she

was just teasing. But since she put it that way… I

rolled my eyes at her.

“Just don’t complain if I look better in this

dress,” I said haughtily, then turned to the

attendant. “Where can I change?”

“This way, please.”

I was led to the changing rooms, and the

attendant followed so she could help me. While

getting half naked in front of a stranger and having

someone help me get dressed was strange, the dress

deserved that kind of attention. Five minutes later, I

was walking back to the seating area and on top of

the display platform. To the side of where Nora and

I had been seated were a set of mirrors, and I took

a look at myself.

Amazing…

In the mirror, my blonde hair was falling

around my face, my blue eyes were bright and wet.

The dress… was simply a masterpiece. It was a

mermaid design with the area above the chest, up

to the neck, and the sleeves made of lace with some

pearls inlaid in a pattern. The dress was slimming

and flared out at the knees with a bit of a train.

“The veil that goes with the dress is longer in

the back and closer to opaque to cover up the back,

if all you want to show off is the front. You also

have the option of choosing a shorter veil if this is

not your intention. The longer veil usually is used if

you want to attach a longer train to the dress. The

train can be attached at the small of the back.”

The opaque veil was probably so it wouldn’t

ruin the look of the dress, not that I thought it was

even possible. I twirled in front of the mirror with a

smile on my face, and turned to look at Nora. Her

eyes were misted a bit, just like mine.

“You look so beautiful, honey,” she whispered,

emotional as she dabbed at her eyes. “Oh, just look

at you! Here I am desperate to lose weight and you

look so perfect. I’m not sure I’ll even fit into that

dress…”

I smiled at Nora, feeling she was too conscious

of her body. Sure, she had let herself go a bit since

graduation, but she was just a little curvier than me.

“You would look amazing in a dress like this. It

might need a few adjustments, but it’s absolutely

perfect.”

She nodded her head. “You’re right, it’s really

not something I can give up on, is it?” Then she

sighed and shook her head. “I bet that bastard

would be so regretful if he could see you now.”

The smile on my face grew strained at her

words, but a small part of me would love for it to

happen, just to see the look on his face. I

completely gave up on the idea, though. It had been

six years, he could have forgotten me, but then

I just looked up a little so I could blink back

the tears that wanted to fall, as I glimpsed him

walking inside. I was stunned for a second, doing a

double take until I was sure that it was him.

Abe, the man that broke my heart so badly six

year painful years ago, that I could only run away

from him. He broke my heart.

Before, I could figure out what to do, he

looked up and saw me, too. I saw his eyes widen in

a look of surprise, and he walked toward us without

seeming to think about it.

“Brooklyn?”

My body shivered at the sound of his voice,

especially with the way he called my name. It was

so fucking familiar, like I’d just been waiting to

hear him call my name for the past six years.

I fixed my expression to something distantly

polite. I had refined the look at work, and I didn’t

think he would see through it easily.

“Abe,” I said indifferently, nearly having to

choke it past my throat. “What a surprise to see

you here.”

“You as well,” he said.

His lips twitched, and I didn’t know what look

he wanted to make. It was such a minute detail that

others unfamiliar with him would probably miss,

but how could I? Abe Sanchez and I had dated for

nearly five years before that incident from

graduation. Hell, who was I trying to kid? In the

past six years, I had missed him like crazy. Seeing

him now was like feeding an old thirst. The only

problem was, it also opened the old wounds in my

heart that I’d tried so desperately to close up.

Whatever expression Abe intended to make,

though, he never did, because he suddenly looked

down at what I was wearing. He was stunned a

second time, and I looked down at myself,

remembering I was in a wedding dress.

Oh. It was clear Abe had misunderstood

something.

“Brooklyn…?” he said my name again, with

that shocked expression still on his face and his

voice sounding confused, hesitant.

It only took a second to make my decision.

He’d misunderstood, why bother explaining to him?

“Sorry, I didn’t expect to see you here. I came

to look at wedding gowns. Don’t tell me you’re also

getting married?” I said the words deliberately.

Sure enough, his eyes seemed to go impossibly

wider, and his mouth parted, but he didn’t

immediately speak.

Even with the pain still wracking through me, I

felt some triumph in my chest at making Abe

speechless in that moment.

“Were you in the middle of something?” I

asked, looking around deliberately. “Please, don’t

let us distract you. We’ll be here a while yet so we

can see each other after you’re finished with your

business. I only just tried on my first dress.”

No matter how much I still loved him, seeing

him in here made me want to fall down on my

knees.

Tell him that if he liked what he saw that I

could be his bride.

I would wear this down the aisle and meet him

and we could be happy, real happy. Maybe he had

time and thought about it.

But then again, six years was a long time ago.

Yet, I still missed him as if it was only

yesterday.

I knew that like six years ago, it would never

be my reality with him and the only thing I could do

was pretend that I was happy now and going to get

married, even if it was all fake.

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About Ted Evans

I'm from London and seeing as London is

far from sunny. I spend most of my time in Costa,

the British equivalent of the Starbucks writing dirty

books.

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