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Second Chance

Copyright

 2012 by Debbie Gould

ISBN: 978-1-61333-192-7
Cover art by LFD Designs

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Second Chance

A 1Night Stand Story

By

Debbie Gould

Second Chance

1

Chapter One

Colin had no idea what to say to her. What was there to say? It’s not as if he wanted to

leave her. Tabitha was his only home outside of his Special Ops team. His heart, his light,

his safe haven. He had no words to comfort her, none that could make this better for her.

He couldn’t promise he’d be back. She knew the deal. He could only promise to do his

best.

He held his wife’s hand and wished to God he could take the pain for her. “You’re not

the one who signed up for military life, but you got drafted when you married me. I wish

to God I could do something to make this easier for you, baby, but I don’t know what.”

He cupped her face and thumbed away her tears. Damn it, he felt like bawling. She

turned her head, kissed his palm, and lowered his hands to her swollen belly.

“I’ll be fine, Colin. My sister’s on her way. I get that this isn’t what you planned. You

wanted to be here, but please don’t worry about us.” She paused to take in a shaky breath.

“You keep your focus and get back home as soon as you can.” Pain and sadness shone in

her eyes, reflected by her tears, but she put up a damn good front. “Wheels up in an hour,

soldier. Move out.”

Leaning in, he kissed her with every bit of love he had for her until he couldn’t stand

the pain of his heart breaking another second. “I love you, Tabitha. I love this baby.”

“I know you do, but you need to leave. You need to forget us for now. Go do your job

and come home safe.” She released his hand and pushed it from her stomach. “Go, now.

That’s an order.”

She gave him a weak smile, and he admired how brave she tried to be. Colin kissed

her forehead and walked to the door. He looked over his shoulder one last time at his

beautiful wife, lying in the hospital bed. The monitors spat out paper, measuring the

contractions and the baby’s heartbeat. She rubbed her belly until she reached out and

grabbed the bed rail, her knuckles turning white.

With his heart aching, he left Tabitha’s room and met her sister outside the doorway.

“Hey, Emily. I can’t thank you enough for coming.”

She smiled up at him. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else. Even if you didn’t have to leave,

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2

you couldn’t have kept me away.”

He gave her a quick hug. “Take care of her for me. Another contraction is on the way.

They’re coming close now.”

“It’s okay, Colin.” She smiled and squeezed his arm. “I’ll take good care of her.”

Sixty minutes later, he sat strapped into his seat, peering out at the dark sky. One last

prayer. Then on to the mission at hand.

***

Two years later…. Colin squeezed his eyes shut against the bittersweet memory.

Sweet in that his beautiful daughter had been born that night two years ago, but the over-

powering image, the one that changed his life forever? The loss of his wife.

He’d gone on that damn mission and come home four days later expecting to find his

wife and baby waiting for him. Instead, he’d been greeted by his commander and the base

chaplain. Complications, they’d said. Hemorrhage. The doctors did all they could. Their

words had been nothing but garble. All he’d registered was Tabitha’s death and that he

hadn’t been there for her. The rest of what they had to say made no difference.

It had taken all his strength to climb the stairs and enter the room Tabitha had worked

so hard to turn into a nursery for their little girl. Her sister, Emily, had been sitting in the

rocking chair holding the baby.

Isabelle. Even now, the memory tore at his soul. He’d taken the small, fragile bundle

in his arms, stared into her beautiful, deep blue eyes, and lost it. He’d slid down the wall,

clutched his daughter to his chest, and bawled like a baby.

After what had seemed like hours, he’d handed Isabelle back to Emily, walked out of

his home, and kept going. The pain of staying had been too great. He sent Emily his bi-

weekly checks, keeping enough to pay the rent on his one bedroom apartment and eat. He

saw Isabelle when he returned Stateside—a rare occasion—and lived for the job. The one

thing he knew he wouldn’t screw up.

His team member and best friend, Bobby “Cat” Martin, sat next to him in the hull of

the Osprey CV-22 flying them back to Hurlburt Field, Florida. “So, Ghost. What’re ya

gonna do for the next thirty days?” He popped a handful of his never-ending Skittles into

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3

his mouth and attempted to talk around them. “Ish about time the captain makes you take

some of your leave. Four days in two years.” He shook his head. “You’re gonna burn out,

bro.”

Ghost. The new handle he’d picked up in the last two years, due not only to his ability

to slip in and out of hostile territory without detection, but also because his team insisted

he’d become a ghost of the man he used to be. Maybe they were right—he’d shut off his

emotions the moment he’d left Isabelle with her aunt and turned his back on his home.

He had no business raising a daughter. He’d failed her mother, and inevitably he’d fail

her, too. Better to keep his distance and avoid the pain.

“I don’t have a clue what to do with myself.” He shrugged. His only goal was to find

something to keep his mind from drifting to the past the way it always did when not on a

mission. “It’s gonna drive me bat shit crazy, though. If I’d wanted fucking leave, I’d have

taken it. I’m good at what I do, Cat. I need to be out there, focused on the job, not sitting

around with my thumbs stuck up my ass.”

Bobby popped more Skittles in his mouth. “Hmm, well here’s a novel idea for you.”

Ever the drama king, he paused for effect. “Why don’t you spend the time with your

daughter and Emily?”

“How big of an ass do you think I am? I’ll see them.”

“I’m not talking about an hour out of your thirty days, Ghost. I meant like a vacation.

Why don’t you take them somewhere, spend some good quality time getting to know

Isabelle?” Bobby crumpled the empty candy bag and shoved it in his BDU pants pocket.

“Shit, this is our first time home in six months. It’s been longer than that since you’ve

seen them. Don’t you think it’s time?”

Colin thrust his hand through his hair and glared at his friend. “What are you, my

mother? Do you keep tabs on everyone else the way you do me?”

“Yeah, you’re the son I never wanted.” Bobby bent to unlace his combat boots.

“Christ, do you even remember when you used to enjoy life, when you looked forward to

the mission ending and going home?”

“Yeah. I also remember the exact fucking day that joy ended.” What was up with his

friend? He’d been there two years ago. He’d been the one who’d scraped his drunken ass

off the barstool, the one who’d kept him sane and sober throughout the funeral

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4

arrangements and service. The one who’d kept him from swallowing his gun on Tabitha’s

grave. Damn. “Why are we even discussing this?”

“Because Isabelle just turned two, and you haven’t seen her in over six months. It’s

time to become a father.”

“Holy shit, Bobby. What would you have had me do? Teleport my ass from the

mountains of Afghanistan to Florida? We were in the middle of an Op, for shit’s sake.”

“Yeah, and now we’re not.” He pulled his boots off and set them aside. “You have

thirty days free. Time to get reacquainted with your little girl, and while you’re at it, you

could get to know Emily.”

“I already know Emily,” he ground out through clenched teeth.

“Yeah, well, I have a feeling she wants you to know her better.”

“Well, I don’t want.” His jaw tightened. “Why are you pushing this?”

Bobby grabbed his mobility bag and placed it against the wall behind him. “Like I

said, it’s time to be a dad. Fuck, it’s time to be a human again and not the robot you’ve

become.” He stretched out on his back, his head resting on the sack, arms crossed over

his chest. “You’ve been hiding too long, Ghost. Time to resurrect yourself.”

“I’m not hiding, damn it. You of all people know what Tabitha’s death did to me. I’d

say I’m functioning pretty damn well.” He lived, breathed, ate, and drank his job. When

he drowned himself in the operations, he didn’t have to live with the guilt that had

plagued him since the night he’d left his wife in labor.

Bobby snorted. “Uh huh. And that’s why your daughter doesn’t even know you.”

“She knows me. Christ, you act like I’m a deadbeat, like I don’t support her.”

“Do you love her?”

“Of course I do!” he bellowed. “What the hell kind of question is that?”

“Does she understand why you’re absent in her life?” Bobby glanced up at him,

compassion in his gaze. “Tabitha is the one who died, Ghost, not you, but that little girl

lost both her parents that night. She’s two now. Soon she’ll be asking questions. You

gonna leave it to Emily to explain why her father, the big, strong, Air Force Special Ops

dude, can’t stomach being in her life?”

“You’re out of line.” He didn’t need this shit right now. He wanted to sleep until they

got to base. Then he’d find something to occupy him for the next four weeks—something

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5

that didn’t look up at him with big, green eyes that reminded him of Tabitha.

“Am I? It’s time to move on. Emily and Isabelle are right there waiting for you. All

you have to do is reach out for them.”

“Emily is Tabitha’s sister, for Christ sake.” And a beautiful, smart, sexy woman–

another excellent reason to stay away. Tabitha had given up everything to be with him.

Yet, he’d let her down, chosen his duty to the military over his duty to her. He’d blown

his chance at happiness. He didn’t deserve another.

“Don’t you think Tabitha would want you to move on, to raise your daughter and be

happy?”

“No, I don’t. I think she would like it if I rotted in Hell. I don’t think she would want

me anywhere near Isabelle. And she sure as hell wouldn’t want me involved with her

sister. Fucking up one of their lives is enough.”

“You’re wrong. That’s not—”

“Enough.” He sliced his hand through the air. “Enough psychobabble, enough prying

into my brain. Unless you’ve gotten a damn degree I don’t know about, leave it alone.”

He scrubbed his hands over his face. I don’t need this shit. He lived the way he chose.

Numb. “When you find the love of your life, walk out on her on what should be one of

the happiest days of your lives, and return to find her dead, then you can tell me what I

should and shouldn’t do. Until then, shut the fuck up.” He leaned his head back against

the wall and closed his eyes. Pain ripped through his chest. God damn he missed Tabitha.

“Please.”

Bobby rolled over on his side, facing away from him, but what he’d said kept

replaying in Colin’s head. He was wrong. Isabelle didn’t need him playing an active role

in her life. When she grew up and understood how he’d let her mother down, she’d hate

him anyway.

And, Emily? He let his mind wander to the attraction he’d felt toward her during his

last few visits. What the hell kind of asshole seduced his dead wife’s sister knowing he

couldn’t give her any more than a hot, sweaty roll in the sack?

No, he’d had his chance at a happy ever after, and he’d thrown it all away for the job.

His future consisted of the next mission. And the one after that.

Until finally, he didn’t come home at all.

Debbie Gould

6

Chapter Two

Emily spread the soft cotton blanket over the white sand, set her pink picnic basket to

the side, and opened the beach umbrella to give them a bit of shade. Isabelle frolicked in

circles, waiting to be led to the crystal blue water of the Gulf. With the clear sky above

and an easy tropical breeze coming off the water, it was shaping up to be a beautiful

Saturday.

Taking the little girl’s tiny hand, Emily tugged her toward the water’s edge, while the

toddler’s squeals of joy danced straight to her heart. There’d been a time when looking at

Isabelle had been a bit painful. She resembled Tabitha so much. The same bright green

eyes, the same jet-black hair. Even the dimples in Izzy’s cheeks mirrored her mother’s.

A huge part of Emily’s world died when Tabitha did. Only ten months apart, they’d

been as close as sisters could be. But the sight of Isabelle soon changed from being

painful to delight. Tabitha might be gone, but her soul and lust for life lived on through

her baby. In the past twenty-three months, Isabelle had come to mean more to her than

life itself.

They splashed in the waves, jumping over the little ones and falling into the big ones.

The air and water remained warm on the Florida Gulf Coast in November, but the

summer-time tourists had packed up and gone home, leaving the beach all but deserted.

After playing in the ocean and searching for shells, Emily carried a water-pruned Izzy

back to the blanket. Wrapped in a towel, the toddler jabbered on about the water and

shells they’d found. The chatty little girl seemed to have a language all her own. Emily

could pick out and understand some of her words, but many remained unknown, at least

to her. Izzy sure knew what she said, though.

“Chips, Mamma. Pease.”

Now those words, Emily understood. “How about some lunch first?” She pulled a

peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of the picnic basket and handed half to Isabelle.

“Chips?” the baby questioned.

“Sandwich first, please.”

Isabelle hesitated before flashing a pearly, white smile and diving in. A good eater for

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7

a toddler, she didn’t turn her nose up at much. Emily delighted seeing her enjoy so many

things. She’d given up everything for Isabelle—quit her job, left her friends, and

relocated so the child would have those rare moments with her dad—and it was all worth

it to sit here and watch her devour a sandwich.

“There my girls are.”

Emily’s heart kicked into double time. Scooping Isabelle up, she jogged across the

beach and threw herself into Bobby’s arms, giving him a ferocious hug.

“Oh, we’ve missed you.” She glanced over his shoulder, hoping Colin had come with

him. “When did you get back?”

Bobby took the little girl from her, threw her straight up in the air, caught her, and

then swung her around in circles. Isabelle squealed in delight.

“Last night.” Bobby tossed the little girl onto his shoulders and bounced her back to

the blanket. “I stopped by the house, and when I didn’t find you there, I headed for my

next best bet. It’s a beautiful day, and this is your favorite hangout.”

“You know us well, Mr. Martin.” She wanted badly to ask about Colin but didn’t want

to be rude.

“He’s fine and stubborn as ever,” he said.

She grinned. “Am I that transparent?”

“No, I just know you that well.” He chuckled and grabbed Isabelle’s plastic bucket

and shovel. “Besides, I haven’t talked to you in a week, and you won’t call him, so you

must be chomping at the bit for news.”

Emily dug into the picnic basket and grabbed three juice boxes. Inserting the straw in

one and handing it to Izzy, she set another next to Bobby, and opened the third for

herself. “You make me sound like a doe-eyed schoolgirl.”

He shoved sand into the bucket. “Well, you sure are pretty as one.”

Emily shoved him on the shoulder. “Oh, knock it off. You’re only saying that because

you feel obligated as Isabelle’s godfather to be nice to me.”

He snapped his gaze to her, suddenly serious. “If I thought for one moment that I

stood even half a chance with you, I’d be all over it. You’re the total package, darlin’.

But Mama didn’t raise no dummy here. I know where your heart lies. And my boy, Colin,

deserves it.” He ruffled Isabelle’s hair. “And baby Bella here deserves it. So, don’t cut

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8

yourself short, Emmy, you’re one hell of a woman.”

Emily’s heart squeezed. “Yeah? Well not a very smart one, apparently. If I were, I’d

have fallen for the guy who actually wants me rather than the one doing his damnedest to

avoid me.”

“Well, now, I said you were a hell of a woman. I didn’t say you were smart.” He

rolled his eyes at her. “Just kidding. Besides, I have a feeling his reasons for wanting to

avoid you have changed over the last year.”

Emily sat up straighter. “What do you mean?”

Bobby packed down the sand with the flat of his hand, upended the bucket, and

slammed it down. Lifting it away, he left a castle-shaped form. “Perfection.”

Izzy giggled, clapped her hands, and proceeded to stomp all over the castle he’d made.

“Why, you little twerp, you.”

Isabelle jumped up and down. “Casa Unca Obby. Casa.”

Blowing raspberries on her chubby little tummy, he shook his head and began the

procedure again. Emily watched the interaction between man and baby and blinked back

tears. Colin should be here. He’d already lost so much of his daughter’s young life, and

her heart hurt to think of all the things he would never get to enjoy with her. He’d missed

her first steps, her first tooth, her first words…. He’d never get any of that back.

And this kind, warm, giving man stepped in for him. More often than he knew. It

wasn’t right. Not that she would ever suggest Bobby not be here for them. He was the

best friend she’d ever had, and sometimes, she wished she felt more than friendship for

him. Why couldn’t she have fallen for him instead of the dark and broody Colin?

She’d known Colin for years. They’d already been good friends when she introduced

him to Tabitha. She’d suspected they would hit it off, and they did. She’d tried to be there

for him when Tabitha died, but he wouldn’t let her. As far as she could tell, the only

person he’d leaned on since had been Bobby.

Her feelings for Colin had changed when she watched him at a barbeque Bobby had

thrown a year ago. Colin had been relaxed, smiling and interacting more than he usually

did. He’d held Isabelle and rocked her to sleep in his arms. The sight of him, bare-

chested, all broad shoulders and ripped muscles, cradling his baby girl, whispering sweet

words to her as she drifted off was more than she could stand. She’d fallen in love that

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9

night.

When he’d taken them home after the party and tucked the baby in, she’d walked him

to the door. He’d been so different that day, almost happy. Caught up in the fantasy of

having him in her life, she’d lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed him. And he’d kissed her

back. No light, little peck on the cheek. He’d taken control of the kiss, yanked her up

against him, and crushed his mouth over hers. Swooping his tongue across her lips, he’d

silently begged for entrance, and once gained, he’d deepened the contact, his tongue

dueling with hers, tasting her, loving her. Then, all too soon it had ended. He’d jerked

back, sworn, muttered an apology, and bolted out the door. Not before she’d noticed his

erection, though.

Once the fog had cleared, her euphoria had as well. The only thing that made sense

was he’d been missing Tabitha and she’d been there, a warm willing body. But he’d

stopped before he got carried away. That thought had taken the wind out of her sails, but

it hadn’t changed how she’d grown to feel about him, and it hadn’t stopped her from

trying to reach out to him.

Unfortunately, after that night, he’d distanced himself even further. If he continued

taking one mission after another, he would all but disappear from their lives. She had one

last shot at making Colin see what he could have—and opening his eyes had nothing to

do with Isabelle and everything to do with her. She prayed Bobby could able to help her

pull her plan off.

“You didn’t answer my question,” she reminded him. “What do you mean his reasons

for avoiding me have changed?”

Bobby kept filling the bucket with sand even though Izzy had moved on to play with

her shells. “Don’t get me wrong. He’s still eating himself up with guilt for not being there

the night Tabitha died. No matter how much we all tell him it wouldn’t have changed a

thing. In his thick lug head, he believes he doesn’t deserve happiness.” Dumping the

bucket upside down again, he set it aside and focused his attention on Emily. “But I do

believe he’s recognized you are all woman, and it scares the shit out of him.”

She lifted a brow. “Uh huh. I hate to tell ya, Bob, but, you are way off base. You mean

to tell me he only now realized I am a woman?”

“Sure, intellectually he knew you were. But you were also a friend, and then you were

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10

family, and then you were his dead wife’s sister. Sometime in the last year, he’s figured

out you’re all that, but you’re also a woman and potentially a danger to the heart he has

tried to kill inside him.”

Emily stared. “Who the hell are you, and what have you done with the Bobcat I

know?”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I’m more than some good-looking blond, packing a big

weapon.”

She burst out laughing. Now that was the Bobby she knew and loved. “Point taken.

So, how do I get him from recognizing me as a woman to letting go of the guilt and

sadness and becoming a part of Izzy’s and my life?”

“Operation 1Night Stand, that’s how.” He dug a slip of paper from his cargo shorts

pocket and handed it to her. “That is Madame Eve’s email. I’ve already laid the

groundwork. Drop her a line. She’ll give you the details of when and where. We’ll get

him there, and then it’s all on you. Just work your magic.”

“Oh, sure, ’cause it’s gonna be that easy.” She shoved the paper into the picnic basket.

“What makes you think he’ll even show up to a thing like this?”

Bobby winked at her. “Number one, he’ll think it’s just a safe, random, one-night

stand with a stranger. I happen to know it’s been a while for the dude. A little peer

pressure from us guys, and he’ll show.”

“Oh God.” She took a deep breath. “How the heck do I keep him there once he

realizes it’s me?”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something. Use your imagination.” He shook his head and

groaned. “Fair warning, Em. If this doesn’t work? I’m officially coming after you.”

“Bobby—”

He held his hand up and then stood, scooping Isabelle into his arms. “Come on, pack

up, and I’ll take you and baby Bella here for some ice cream.”

Isabelle clapped and yelled, “Ice ceam, ice ceam!”

As they headed for the cars, doubts plagued her. Could she really pull this off? Could

she convince Colin to hear her out? Would he make love to her and decide to stay or walk

out on her once again? She owed it to herself and Isabelle to try.

Bobby buckled the baby in her seat while Emily packed the picnic gear in the trunk.

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Ready to leave, he stopped her before she slid into the driver’s seat. “Stop worrying.”

“Easy for you to say.”

He raised his brows and cocked his head to the side.

“I’m sorry, I’m just nervous.” She lifted her hand to his face. “Thank you, for

everything you do.”

He leaned in and pressed his lips softly to her forehead. “What are friends for?”

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Chapter Three

Colin paced the length of his small living room, which took all of three long strides,

turned, and stopped at the window. Outside, the world had started waking up, moving

about, and getting on with the day. Inside his apartment, he was stuck in a place he no

longer wanted to be. He didn’t know how to go about getting unstuck. Hell, even if he did

know, he didn’t deserve to.

Shit! His second day home and here he stood going stir crazy and psychoanalyzing

himself. Ridiculous. How the hell did he expect to last thirty days? Stalking down the

short hallway to the single bedroom, he pulled on his PT gear, shoved his feet into his

running shoes, and headed out the door for his daily five-mile run.

Living only a block from the beach, he headed there for a more secluded jog. His feet

pounding on the hardened sand, he took off along the deserted Emerald coastline.

Seagulls squawked and dove into the water for their breakfast. He inhaled the salty sea

air, but the familiar smells and calming sounds of the waves did nothing to clear his head.

He should have called Emily yesterday. By now, Bobby would have told her they

were home, but he hadn’t been ready to see her yet. Scratch that, she’d been the first

person he’d wanted to see, which was exactly why he hadn’t.

She tempted him. Too much. In the year that followed Tabitha’s death, the thought of

having another woman had been the furthest thing from his mind. Then there had been

the barbeque Bobby had thrown. He’d taken Emily and Isabelle with him because he

hadn’t wanted to show up alone, and his buddies were asking about the baby.

In the past, he’d never spent more than a few hours at a time with Emily and his

daughter, but that day he’d picked them up early, taken them to breakfast and shopping

before heading to the party. He’d had a weak moment and allowed himself to enjoy his

time with Isabelle and the woman she called her mother.

He made a U-turn and began the length home, but still couldn’t keep his mind off

Emily. She’d been a friend for what seemed like forever, and after spending the day with

her, watching her with his buddies and his baby, he’d seen her in a different light. She

was a beautiful, desirable woman. Outgoing, vivacious, and sexy as hell. Her long,

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tanned legs had called to him, and it’d been all too easy to picture them wrapped around

his waist as he drove into her.

He must have been sending some kind of unconscious signals that day because when

he’d gone to leave after dropping them off, she’d kissed him. Her lips had been so soft, so

warm, he’d lost it and devoured her right there at the door. Damn, she’d tasted so good.

He’d yanked her against him, all those curves of hers molding to him and driving him to

the brink. And then she’d moaned. That one, delicious sound snapped him back to reality,

and he’d realized he’d been seconds away from taking her.

He’d backed away from her and kept his distance ever since. Making sure most of his

visits with Emily and Isabelle were in public places with friends like Bobby around. He

couldn’t risk being alone with her like that again. No matter how much he wanted her and

Isabelle as a permanent fixture in his life, he couldn’t have them.

He glanced out over the blue gulf water. He was a selfish bastard, and he’d eventually

end up destroying them the way he did Tabitha.

Everybody loved to tell him her death hadn’t been his fault. Even if he’d been there, it

wouldn’t have changed the outcome. But they were wrong. He’d made vows to Tabitha,

and when push came to shove, his wife and daughter had taken hind tit to his job. He

ground his teeth. He’d failed her. No, maybe he couldn’t have changed the outcome, but

he could have been with her until she’d taken her final breath. He could have held and

comforted his daughter.

Instead, the woman he’d loved had died without him, and Isabelle had neither her

mother nor her father with her. Emily had been there for them, though. She’d filled in for

him in so many ways. She’d become a mother when she hadn’t asked to be one. She’d

made sure her sister hadn’t been alone when her life ebbed away and she was too weak to

hold her baby daughter. She’d taken care of his family. All things he should have done.

And now look at her. She’d given Isabelle a stable loving home. She was one amazing

woman. He admired and cared about her. But she was too good for him. Colin left the

beach and jogged the remaining block home.

He finished up his run, head no clearer. When he rounded the corner of his building,

he found Bobby and Zeke, the newest member of the team, sitting on the stoop, waiting

for him. “Isn’t it a little too early in the morning for you girls to be up?”

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“It might have been if we’d gone to bed last night,” Bobby said, a wicked grin

adorning his smug face.

Colin rolled his eyes. “Uh huh.” He whipped his shirt off and swiped the sweat from

his forehead. “And you had such an amazing night you had to come rub my face in it?”

Bobbie glanced at Zeke and then back to him. “No, as a matter of fact we have a

solution for your cranky ass.”

“My ass isn’t cranky, therefore no need for a solution. Sorry for the wasted trip, guys.

Now if ya don’t mind.” He tilted his head toward the door they obstructed. “I need to get

in there and take a shower.”

Bobby stood but still blocked the way. “Hold up there, pal. Hear us out.”

He didn’t want to hear him out. Bobby on his doorstep this early in the morning meant

trouble. Trouble for him. Renowned for his stealth and steel-cold nerves on the

battlefield, his friend shot expert as a sniper, and was kick-ass at hand-to-hand combat.

Shit, they all were. But Bobby had a knack for ferreting out intel. When it came to getting

the information the team needed, Bobby’s sixth sense always came through on recon

missions. His uncanny talent worked every bit as well here at home, and the good Lord

only knew what he’d latched onto this time. “I have no idea what scheme you have going

now, and I really don’t want to know. Don’t you have something better to do than meddle

in my life?”

Zeke chuckled. “Nothing nearly this fun, Lieutenant. Wait till you hear what we got

cooked up for ya.”

Colin took a step back and cringed. “Aw, shit, Bobby. What’ve you done?”

Bobby punched Zeke in the shoulder and shook his head. “Nothing bad. Actually, it’s

so simple you’re gonna kick your ass for not thinking of it first, Ghost.”

He doubted it. More than likely he would kick Bobby’s ass. The man worked overtime

to hook him up, like he was a damn charity case. If he wanted to get laid, he could go

find his own. Unfortunately, the only woman who had spurred his senses in the last year

had been Emily. He wanted her so bad he caught himself thinking about her during the

day and woke up sweat-soaked and hard at night from dreaming about her.

Shit! Maybe he did need to get laid. “I repeat, what have you done?”

Zeke jumped up. “See, there’s this woman named Madame Eve––”

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Colin threw his hands up. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is low even for you. I don’t need

a freaking prostitute. Damn, Bobby. What the hell are you thinking?”

Bobby laughed. “Not that kind of madam. She runs an elite dating service and sets up

one-night stands for consenting adults. It’s a no-strings-attached kind of thing. Just two

like-minded adults looking for a night of pleasure. That’s it. You both go in with your

eyes open and leave the next day feeling a lot less stressed.”

Colin crossed his arms over his chest and lifted a brow. “And how does she go about

finding these people and matching them up?”

“Don’t worry I’ve checked it all out. You go on her website, fill out the application.

Then she matches you up with someone who meets your needs. She names the date and

place, and the rest is on you. It’s all legit.”

“You sound like an infomercial.” Colin shook his head. “This is fucking crazy, ya

know. I have no trouble finding my own women.”

“Never said you did, Lieutenant,” Zeke said. “But this way you don’t have to troll the

bars, hoping to find a woman who wants to get her rocks off exactly like you. We know

that’s not your scene, and this way everyone gets what they want and walks away

happy.”

Bobby glared at Zeke. “Where the hell do you come from anyway?” He returned his

gaze to Colin. “More like a night of mutual pleasure.”

“I have my own ways of relieving stress.”

Bobby snorted. “Uh, yeah. I’m not talking about whacking off in the shower, dude.”

Colin rubbed his hands over his face. Good God, have I really been reduced to this?

“Fine. Give me the damn website name.”

A huge grin plastered across his face, Bobby dug into his pocket, brought out a

crumpled piece of paper, and handed it to him.

He eyed Bobby. “Why is this so important to you?”

“Because,” he said, becoming serious. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen the old

Colin. I miss him.”

“Christ, you’re turning into a woman.” He closed his fist around the paper and shoved

past the two men. “Now, get the hell out of here before my better judgment returns and I

kick your asses.”

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16

“No problem, let’s go Zeke.” Bobby said and they headed down the sidewalk. He

turned back as Colin reached his door. “By the way, I saw Emily and Isabelle at the

beach. They both look great. You should really stop by and see your daughter. Also,

since you have no interest in her, I put Emily on notice. Let her know I’m very interested.

That’s one hell of a woman right there.”

Colin turned and glowered at Bobby. No way, no how. “She’s off fucking limits,

Bobby.”

“Now, come on. You told me yourself you didn’t want her. Fair is fair.”

He came off the steps and stormed toward his friend, not stopping until they stood

nose-to-nose, and shoved a finger in his chest. “I said I couldn’t have her. Neither can

you. Don’t push me here, Bobcat.”

Bobby put his up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. Don’t get your panties in a wad.

Shit.” He grasped Colin’s shoulder. “Go on that website. You’re wound tighter than a

virgin on prom night.”

Colin grunted, spun on his heel, and slammed the door on his two well-meaning

friends. Sliding into the chair at his desk, he powered up the laptop and entered the

website. 1Night Stand. Scrolling through the pages, Bobby’s words kept coming back to

him. I saw Emily and Isabelle, they both look great. I’m very interested. Damn it. He’d

seen red.

He needed to see them. Couldn’t put it off much longer. His arms ached to hold his

daughter, if only for a little while. Maybe Bobby hit the target and this one-night stand

thing would take the edge off. Then, hopefully, he could see Emily without getting a hard

on.

Muttering a string of curses, Colin clenched his jaw and filled out the application.

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Chapter Four

Colin stood outside the Castillo Resort, Destin, staring up at the impressive building.

The three wing, sixteen-story hotel rose grand among the scattered palm trees and rich,

green grass. From where he stood, he could see out to the gleaming, white-sand beaches

of the Gulf of Mexico.

His heart did a little double time, stomach clenched in knots, and his palms grew

damp. Shit, even on a worst-case scenario mission, he kept his cool better than this. Was

he really going through with a one-night stand? He couldn’t back out now. Everything

had been set in motion. Even though he didn’t know the woman up there in the room

waiting for him, he didn’t want to come off as some pansy-assed teenager. Christ, it was

just sex. Hopefully, hot, sweaty, mind-numbing sex, but sex all the same.

He took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders, and pulled open the double glass

doors to the lobby. At the check in desk, he picked up the room number, key card, and

directions to the pool, spa, and bar…if he were inclined to use any of the amenities. The

bar might come in handy. He had half a mind to stop in and throw back a couple shots of

Jack before heading up to the room.

Instead, he stalked over to the elevator and pushed the call button. He entered and

turned as the doors slid shut. His breath caught on a curse. This was so far removed from

anything he’d done before, to say he’d stepped out of his comfort zone would be a major

understatement. He should have gone to a club, gotten shit-faced, and gotten laid by the

first available woman who looked his way. Wasn’t this the same outcome, sex for the

sake of sex? It worked great for some, but the thought made him a little queasy.

The more he thought about it, the more wrong both scenarios felt. He might need the

physical release, but he could get that in the shower or by beating Bobby’s ass into the

ground. Hooking up with a stranger had never really appealed to him, it never had been,

and nothing had changed in that respect. He’d let Bobby talk him into something that

ground against his nature, and now had to figure a way to back out.

He couldn’t leave her up there all night wondering what happened. That would be

shitty. He would explain this one-night stand thing didn’t sit well for him. Maybe offer to

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take her to dinner if she appeared interested. If she was open enough for a night with a

stranger, then she would understand his misgivings…he hoped.

Breathing easier now, he exited the elevator, found the room, and slid the key card

into the slot. The door opened to an impressive suite that included a small kitchenette and

sitting area with a large screen television mounted on the wall. Plush, burgundy carpet

covered the floor and heavy, gold drapes hung from the sliding glass door that led to the

balcony.

Colin’s focus, however, settled on the focal point in the room. The king size bed. It

had already been turned down, mints placed on the pillows. He stared at the bed, and his

mind immediately leapt to an image of Emily, lying on the gold and burgundy comforter,

her long, auburn hair spread across the pillows, wearing a soft smile inviting him to join

her. He shut his eyes and groaned. Shit, I need to get out of here.

He glanced around, relieved to find the place empty Apparently, he’d gotten there

first. Maybe he could leave a note saying something had come up. Then she wouldn’t be

left waiting and wondering.

Searching the desk drawers for paper and a pen, he heard a door snick open. Twisting

toward the bathroom, he startled, the bottom of his stomach dropping and his heart

stalling. In the doorway stood Emily, all five-foot, six-inches of her. His Emily.

He swallowed. “Oh, Jesus.”

Silky, red fabric clung to her waist, flowed over her flared hips and along her long

legs. Jewels glittered at the neckline, drawing his gaze to her ample breasts. Not his

imagination this time. Holy fuck. He licked his lips, longing to caress the soft, creamy

curves peeking from beneath the material.

Lust shot through his body and pooled heavy in his groin. He swallowed hard and

stared. Damn, she was beautiful. Everything in him shouted for him to toss her on the bed

and bury himself deep inside her. He shook his head and tried to fight through the intense

craving to have her. What the fuck was going on?

Finding his voice, he said, “What are you doing here?” She took a couple steps toward

him, and he threw his hand up to stop her. “What the hell are you doing here, Em?”

She sighed. “I think it’s time we stop dancing around this, Colin. I want you. In my

life. In my bed. You belong with me and Izzy, and I’m here to tell you that, to bring you

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home.”

His blood instantly ran cold. His fingers tingled, his head spun, and the walls closed in

on him. He couldn’t breathe. He needed out of the damn room. Now. Charging for the

door, he tried to move past Emily, but she backed up and blocked his exit.

“You need to move, Em,” he ground out.

“I can’t, Colin.” She brought her hand up to cup his face. “I need you too much to let

you go. Can’t you see that?”

He couldn’t see anything right now. He could barely hear her through the pounding of

his heart in his ears. This was crazy. He pulled away from her, stormed across the room

to the slider. Shoving the glass door open, he stumbled out onto the balcony. Taking deep

gulps of the warm, salty air, he tried to calm his racing heart. Get a grip, man.

He stared out at the dark night. The moon reflecting over calm water. Steady breaths

in and out. I’m here to tell you that, to bring you home. Her words echoed in his head. He

couldn’t go home. He didn’t have one and never could. Colin scrubbed his hands over his

face, took a deep breath and gripped the railing with both hands, finding stable purchase.

He shook his head and snorted. Some fucking hero he was. Big, bad Special Ops officer

having a flipping panic attack at the site of a gorgeous woman in a flimsy red dress.

He ground his teeth, knowing the truth dealt with more than that. It was the thought of

what she offered and how desperately he wanted it. Now that his heart rate had returned

to normal and he could face her without looking like a total buffoon, he had to come up

with a way to let her down without hurting her and ruining the fragile relationship they

did have.

And then he would kick Bobby’s fucking ass.

“You’re not planning to jump are you?”

He whipped around to find her standing in the doorway. His gaze dipped lower to her

puckered nipples playing peek-a-boo behind the thin satin and lace that covered them.

His dick hardened and pressed against his zipper, begging to come out and play. Shit!

“No, no jumping. But we do need to talk.”

Emily nodded, turned, and padded over to the couch. Sitting, she stared up at him

expectation lighting her eyes.

Colin took a seat on an upholstered chair a few feet away and met her gaze. “First, you

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have to know I want you, Em. I want you so bad I can taste it. It’s a daily ache inside

me.”

She slid forward. “Then what’s the problem? I feel the same way. There’s nothing

stopping us from having what we want.”

“Yeah, there is. Me. It has nothing to do with you.” He looked down at his lap. “I can’t

do this.”

“Oh, shit, Colin. Really? The whole ‘it’s not you it’s me’ line? That’s beneath you.”

Leaning back, she crossed her arms under her breasts, bringing them to his attention

again. “Is this about me being Tabitha’s sister?”

“No. Tabitha was the most giving woman I ever knew. You being her sister has

nothing to do with this.” When she cocked an eyebrow, he sighed. “It’s the truth. This is

about me. I’m nowhere near as strong as you think I am. I lost everything I loved and

held dear because of my job. Well, everything but the job. Being a member of the Air

Force, in the Special Forces, is all I ever dreamed about. What I worked my ass off for.

And I’m damn good at what I do. I love it. What I do makes me proud.”

“You make me proud, too. But what does that have to do with me?”

“Everything.” God, he prayed he could make her understand. “I can’t ask another

woman to make the sacrifices it takes to have me in her life.”

She shook her head. “I’d never ask you to give that up. It’s what makes you who you

are.”

“No, I know you wouldn’t. But you don’t realize what you’d be giving up.”

“Really, Colin? Would it be more than I’m giving up now?”

He winced. She’d made innumerable sacrifices to raise his daughter and never asked a

thing in return—until now. “I’m sorry. I guess you do know, which should be all the

more reason for you to want nothing to do with me. My past dictates that when given a

choice between my woman and my job, I’ll make the wrong one.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to choose.”

“But I would. And I’d make the wrong one. I can’t go through that again. I won’t live

through a loss like that to a bad decision.”

Emily straightened. “Are you talking about the night Tabitha died?”

“Do you really think I had to go on that mission? Damn, Em. The military isn’t that

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heartless. If I’d already been gone, I wouldn’t have been able to come back. But this was

to be a short mission. A quick in and out that had minimal chance of failure. I could have

fought harder not to go, but I got too cocky, and as much as I loved Tabitha, the pull to

get out there and do my thing was stronger.” He hunched his shoulders and looked past

her at the wall. “I choose to leave her, my choice killed her.”

She left her seat and knelt in front of him, placing her hands on his knees. “She

hemorrhaged. It was an unexpected complication. She was young and healthy, no one

could have known that would happen, and even though the doctors tried their hardest,

they couldn’t save her.”

Pain swept through his heart and clutched at his stomach. Tears burned behind his

closed eyes. He should have been there. He opened his eyes and gazed at the beautiful,

gentle woman in front of him. He could never do that to her. He wouldn’t survive it a

second time. “Maybe not. I’ll never know that, will I? It doesn’t change the fact that I

could have been there for her, held her hand when she got scared, and told her she wasn’t

alone. I let her down in the most monumental way a man could. I won’t make that

mistake again, and that means never putting myself in that position again.”

He wiped the tears from Emily’s face and hoped he’d made her understand. “Please,

don’t ask me to do that,” he whispered.

Emily stood and took his hand. “Then please, give me this one night.”

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Chapter Five

Emily held her breath, waiting for Colin’s answer. Dear lord she was actually begging

the man to make love to her. Would he give her this one night? The need to comfort him,

to give herself to him pulsed through her. His plea had broken her heart. She couldn’t

fight him anymore, but she could show him the life he could have if he’d only take what

she offered.

He stood. He reached out toward her, but instead of touching her, he curled his fingers

into a fist and thrust it in his pocket. “I can’t….”

She couldn’t let it end like this. Rising from the couch, she slipped the straps of her

gown off her shoulders and let the dress fall from her body to pool around her ankles on

the floor.

“One night, Colin.” She stood in front of him, stripped naked to the soul in nothing

more than her strappy heels. Her heart pounded in her chest.

He swallowed but remained silent.

She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, took a deep breath, and met his gaze. “I

need something to remember. To dream about. Because for me, there is no one but you.”

Without warning, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her tight against his hard

chest. His mouth crushed over her lips, his tongue dancing with hers. He scooped her up,

carried her the few steps to the bed, and slowly laid her down. Kneeling over her, he

paused. His gaze traveled the length of her body, reverence in his eyes.

His hand shook as he trailed his fingers from her cheek, down the side of her neck,

along her ribs, and down her thigh. She shivered under his touch. Oh how she’d longed

for this, dreamed of it.

“You’re so damn beautiful.” He swallowed and glanced away. “I don’t deserve you.”

Taking his face in her hands, she forced him to look at her, to hear her words. “You’re

wrong. You deserve so much more.” Lifting up, she trailed soft kisses along the edge of

his jawline. “Let me make you happy. Let me love you—at least for one night.”

She tugged at him, and this time he came willingly. She thrilled at the feel of his

weight over her. His kiss was hot and hungry. His warm hands moved over her body, up

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her sides to cup her breasts, molding his hands to her, caressing and teasing. He trailed

open-mouthed kisses down her neck to her nipples, nipping at each bud and smoothing

the sting away with his tongue.

“Oh, God, Em,” he whispered, and a shudder passed through him. “I want you so bad

it hurts.”

She cradled his head to her body. Savoring the heat of his mouth, combing her fingers

through his hair, she moaned from deep within her at the sensations. He slid down her

body, and she stopped him. “Not yet. Sit up, please.”

When he did, she scooted up on the bed, knelt in front of him, and unbuttoned his

shirt, kissing her way down his chest and sculpted abs. Once she had the shirt open, she

shoved the sleeves off his arms and tossed it to the floor.

“Lie back,” she whispered and followed him down with her lips on his.

Lingering on his mouth a moment longer, she pulled back and went to work

unfastening his belt and unbuttoning his trousers. Lowering the zipper, especially careful

over the large bulge, she slid his pants, socks, and shoes off and added them to his shirt

on the carpet.

Emily returned her attention to him. His body was magnificent, all sinew and muscle

and tanned skin, and her stomach dipped at the sight. She straddled his hips, his

impressive erection nestled under her bottom.

“Emily,” he growled, his breath ragged.

“Shhh,” she placed her fingers against his mouth. “Let me love you.”

She trailed her mouth over his closed lids, his ear, and down his neck to the pulse

point in his throat. Her hands moved up his chest, memorizing every ripple and dip. She

explored his body with controlled hunger, taking her time, savoring the taste of his skin.

God, he smelled good.

Her tongue found his flat male nipple and swirled around it, teasing it to a hardened

peak. He shuddered, and the hard muscles of his abdomen contracted under her hands.

She wanted him with a desperation she’d never felt before. Reaching farther down, she

curled her fingers around his thick erection. Silk and steel.

“Emily,” Colin groaned at her touch. “I won’t last.”

Stretching over to the bedside table, she opened the drawer, grabbed a condom, and

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ripped it open. Slowly, she rolled it over his erection.

He sucked in a deep breath. “Now, Em!”

Wasting no more time, she lowered until the tip of him pressed at her entrance. She

sank down, taking him inch by delicious inch until he was buried to the hilt. She gasped

with the pleasure of having him deep inside her. Her skin tingled, decadent sensations

ripped through her. This coming together, being one, she’d been craving it from him.

Before she could set a rhythm, he wrapped his arms around her tight, and in a swift,

deft move, he was on top of her, their positions reversed. He’d taken over their

lovemaking and taken charge.

“Oh,” she gasped at the sudden change and smiled.

“Not yet. I need to taste you.” He climbed down her body and settled himself between

her legs. He kissed her inner thighs and traced a path to her core. Thrusting his tongue

deep, he mimicked the act they would soon be doing. Emily closed her eyes and

submitted herself to the desire racking her body as his fingers and mouth drove her to the

edge of oblivion.

“Oh, yes,” she moaned and drove her fingers into his hair. God, what he was doing to

her had her womb clenching with need. He brushed his tongue over her most sensitive

spot again, and she arched off the bed, climaxing hard. “Colin!”

“You’re so sweet, Em,” he said, his voice husky. While she drifted on the pleasure

he’d given her, he crawled his way back up her body and covered her mouth with his in a

demanding kiss. “So sweet.”

He moved between her legs, poised at her entrance. He hissed out a shuddering breath

as he pushed deep inside her once again in a single, powerful thrust. He stilled then and

lowered his forehead to hers.

After a moment of silence, he whispered, “Are you okay?”

Her body thrummed with need, attuned to his every breath, every movement. Their

lovemaking was so much more than she’d dreamed. “More than okay.”

She tightened her legs around him as he began to move. As one, they thrust together,

hips giving and taking, her mouth on his, tongues dueling. His heart beating with hers.

The beauty of their lovemaking bringing tears to her eyes, she blinked them away so he

wouldn’t see. Waves of pleasure crashed over her, until she focused solely on where they

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were joined.

“Oh, Jesus, Emily.”

His hoarse cry pushed her over the edge, and her entire body clenched as her vision

blurred momentarily from the intensity of her orgasm.

He pumped once more, froze and groaned his pleasure and collapsed heavy into her,

burying his head in her neck. After catching their breath, he rolled over, left the bed, and

padded to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, he came back, slid under the covers, and pulled her to him. “I

don’t know what to say. I never expected this to happen. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, and you don’t have to say anything. I came into this with my eyes wide

open. You were straightforward with me.” She laid her head on his chest, heard his heart

pounding beneath her ear. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Colin, and tonight meant

the world to me. Thank you for giving me that.”

He stroked her hair, and she had to fight the tears once again.

“I’m so sorry. If I could risk it again, you’d be the woman I’d risk it for. I can’t.”

“Shhh, get some sleep.”

Twenty minutes later, his breathing evened out and his body relaxed. Content he was

asleep, she slipped from beneath the covers, gathered her dress, and pulled it over her

head. Strapping on her shoes, she grabbed her purse and tiptoed back the bed. She stared

down at her strong warrior, peaceful in sleep, and prayed he would forgive himself one

day and claim the love that belonged to him, but she couldn’t hold out hope anymore.

She would make a life for herself and Isabelle without him. She would be fine, and she

had tonight to relive when missing him became too much. Wiping away her freshly fallen

tears, she bent and gently kissed his forehead. “I love you, Colin. I always will.”

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Chapter Six

The door slipped shut, and Colin opened his eyes. She loved him. Rolling onto his

back, he cursed his weakness. He’d lost control, damn it, and for a moment, he’d been in

heaven. But he never should have let it happen. It wasn’t fair to Emily, and he’d have to

find a way for them to move on from tonight. Although, how he could ever look at her

again without aching to touch her, he didn’t know.

Closing his eyes, he remembered how beautiful she’d looked. He’d caved the moment

she’d dropped her dress. No man alive could have turned her down, and he’d been

fighting himself too long. Over the past year, she’d managed to crawl under his skin and

into his heart. Making love to her had cemented the deal. He wanted her more now than

he ever had.

Colin sat up, threw his legs over the side and pushed up off the bed. Pulling on his

boxers and slacks, he stepped out onto the balcony and leaned against the barrier wall.

God, how he’d missed the connection, the bond a man and woman shared. She’d made

him feel alive again. She also made him want to give her things he couldn’t. Maybe it

was selfish, but he couldn’t risk his heart a second time, and he wouldn’t let another

woman down.

Storming back into the room, he finished dressing and left. The night before had been

a mistake. Emily wasn’t a one-night stand woman and he wasn’t available for more than

that. He’d find some way to patch things up between them. There had to be a way,

because even if he couldn’t have her the way they both wanted, he couldn’t see his life

without her in it at all.

***

Colin sat on the white sand staring out at the Gulf of Mexico. A week had passed since

his night with Emily and he hadn’t had the balls to go see her yet. The more time that

passed, the more excuses he made to himself for his behavior, but they weren’t cutting it

anymore. The ache in his gut to see her, to hold her in his arms burned through him night

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and day.

Shit this hurt. He felt empty now, and he missed her like he missed a piece of himself.

Damn Bobby for putting him in this position. This time he’d crossed the line from

meddling to causing damage. Emily had been hurt because of this stupid stunt, and their

relationship forever changed. He’d seen her tears, heard the pain in her voice, and it

killed him. Enough was enough. Time to confront the man and show him exactly what he

could do with his interfering ass.

Twenty minutes later, Colin pulled his car into the parking space next to Bobby’s

shiny red Ford F-150. Storming up the stoop, he pounded the door with his fist, took a

half step back, and waited.

Sixty seconds later, the grumble of Bobby’s voice sounded. “Who the hell is it?”

“Me. Open the fuck up.”

The door cracked a few inches, and Bobby peeked around it. “Aw, shit.” He opened it

further and stepped aside to let Colin in. Shutting the door behind him, Bobby stood in

his living room, sleep ruffled hair, eyes half opened, wearing only his boxers. “Wondered

when you were going to show your face.”

Colin rounded on him. “God damn. What the hell goes through that pea brain of

yours? I want to beat your fucking ass right now.”

Bobby shoved a hand through his hair. “I could say those same words to you. It’s been

a fucking week, dude. That woman has been trying to get your attention for a year now.

She asked for my help, so I obliged.”

He threw his arms up. “Never mind the fact that I’ve told you a hundred times I

couldn’t have her. I can’t have anyone.” Damn, would the man ever listen? “Fuck. The

little prank you pulled has consequences. We can’t even go back to the relationship we

had before now. Emily and Isabelle will be even further out of my grasp.”

“I’m so sick of hearing that, Ghost.” Bobby rubbed his eyes and sat on one of the

stools in front of his bar. “It’s all a bunch of self-pitying bullshit. You’re fucking scared

is what you are.”

He stalked a few steps forward, bringing him within striking distance. “You wanna

repeat that, Bobcat?”

Bobby slid off the stool, threw his shoulders back, his neck straightened and chin

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tilted. “Sure, you’re fucking scared.” When Colin drew his arm back, Bobby shoved him.

“It’s about time you man up. Even if you don’t think you deserve her or the home she can

give you, you’re what Emily wants—though fuck if I know why. You’re a grade A

asshole sometimes. But you’re it for her, so if you give a damn about her, go make her

happy…or I’ll kick your ass.”

Colin let out a long breath and backed down. He traipsed through the living room and

sank onto the couch, head hanging.

Bobby crossed the room and flopped in the recliner. “I don’t get it. Your family is

right there waiting for you.” His voice sounded much softer than before. “All you’ve got

to do is reach out and take it.”

“Don’t you see? I had it all once. Everything I wanted. A job I loved, the best woman

a man could ask for, a baby on the way. I blew it. All because I couldn’t get my priorities

straight. I won’t make that mistake again. I can’t do that to Emily or me. And Isabelle?

Do you think I want her growing up to be disappointed in me for making the wrong

choices?”

Bobby raised a brow. “So, this is all about you and how people see you?”

Colin slammed his hand down on the couch. “No! It’s about me not letting down the

people I love. If I’m not in their lives, I can’t disappoint them.”

“But you are in their lives, regardless, and already disappointing them by staying

away.” Colin slid to the edge of his seat. “So, tell me, are you saying you would do

everything the same in a new relationship?”

“No. I.” He shook his head. “Hell no, I’d do it all different.”

“Then the only other explanation is you’re a dumb fuck. Christ, get your head out of

your damn ass. This is it. This is your chance to do it all different, to make the right

choices this time. Not all of us are lucky enough to get a second chance.”

Colin stared at the ceiling for a long moment. Lord he’d love nothing more than to

accept what Emily offered. A home, love, the two females he ached for every day could

be his. Bobby was right, he was an idiot and scared shitless. It would kill him to lose

everything all over again. But damn it, he wanted Isabelle, and he wanted Emily.

He glanced back at his friend. “And what if I fuck up?”

“That’s easy.” He grinned. “I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.”

Second Chance

29

***

Emily had kept herself busy throughout the day. She’d taken Isabelle to the Gulfarium,

the ten-thirty a.m. sea lion show was her favorite. From there, they’d gone to lunch, done

some Christmas shopping, and tackled the weekly grocery purchases. Back home, she’d

found a delivery of boxes from some on-line purchases and set them in the living room.

Once the groceries were put away, they baked cookies, played games, and basically wore

each other out.

By the time the dark shadows of night had settled in, Isabelle was down for the count,

but Emily couldn’t yet face her empty bed. Changing into old sweats, she jammed a ball

cap on her head, climbed up into the attic, and brought down the four big boxes that

contained her Christmas decorations. Today was December first, time to put yesterday

behind her and move on. Last week had been a gift.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been if she had convinced

Colin he could find happiness with them, but he seemed determined to continue to punish

himself. She couldn’t fight him anymore. The thought brought fresh tears to her eyes. So

much for putting it behind her. Lord she’d messed everything up horribly this time.

She hadn’t heard from him, not that she’d expected to, but he still hadn’t seen Isabelle

since he’d been home. She’d thought for sure he would at least want to see his daughter.

Maybe she should call Bobby. It was obvious Colin wasn’t going to contact her. It might

be better if he picked Isabelle up and took her to her daddy’s for the day. Bobby could

arrange it all, and Colin wouldn’t have to see her. He would distance himself from them

now and she didn’t want Izzy to miss out on him any more than she already had.

Making the decision to call Bobby tomorrow, she set about the job of decorating for

the holiday season, hoping it would put her in the mood for Christmas and the coming

new year. How did one go about giving up on a dream, especially when that dream

seemed all too real a little over a week ago? She wasn’t sorry about the night she’d spent

making love to him. Just the opposite. At least she’d fought for him as hard as she could,

and she would have her memories forever.

Looking around the living room, she tried to map out the decorations in her head, what

Debbie Gould

30

to put where, but a room full of boxes made it hard to decide, and her heart wasn’t in it.

She’d done a darn good job of not thinking about Colin all day, but it was much more

difficult after the sun fell.

Her chest tightened. The decorations, trying to get into the holiday spirit, why bother?

She’d never felt more alone. Plodding over to the couch, she flopped down, resting her

head against the cushion. For Isabelle, that’s why.

She had to find a way let him go. It might not happen tonight, or tomorrow, but soon.

She needed to figure out how to fall out of love with him.

The doorbell sounded, and she glanced at her watch. Nine p.m.. Nobody usually

stopped by this late. Moving to the door, she peered out the side window, and her heart

hitched. She yanked the door open. “Colin.”

“Hi.” He stood there, his eyes scanning her.

“Um. Isabelle is already in bed.”

“That’s okay. Do you mind if I peek in at her?” He kept his hands in his pockets and

shifted his weight from one foot to the next. “I promise not to wake her.”

“Of course.” She widened the door. “Come in.”

Bending down, he grabbed a large paper bag she hadn’t noticed before and strode into

the living room. He stopped short and pivoted on his heel to face her. His mouth open,

the color drained from his face. “Are you going somewhere?”

“What?”

He gestured to the mess she’d made of the room. “The boxes. It looks like you’re

packing.”

“Oh, no. My Christmas decorations are in half of those, and the other half are

deliveries.” She perched on the arm of the sofa. “I would never leave without telling you.

No matter what happened between us, you’re still Isabelle’s father. That’s the one thing

that will never change.”

He nodded and set the bag down, grabbing a white, stuffed Christmas bear from it.

“Do you mind if I run this up to her?”

“Not at all. Do you want something to drink?” she said, unsure if he would be sticking

around or not.

He gazed at her and smiled. “A beer would be great if you have one.”

Second Chance

31

Her heart did a cautionary dance. At least he wasn’t shutting her out the way she’d

feared he would. “Just so happens I do.”

“Great.”

He bounded up the stairs to Isabelle’s room, and she made her way to the kitchen.

Retrieving a couple long neck bottles from the fridge, she opened them and brought them

back to the living room.

She couldn’t imagine why he’d come and prayed it wasn’t bad news. Five minutes

later, he flew down the stairs and stood before her out of breath.

“Good Lord, Colin. Did you have a monster chasing you?”

He chuckled. “No, just in a hurry I guess.”

“A hurry for what?”

“It feels like I’ve been trying to get here for a year. Now that I am, I don’t want to

waste any more time.”

She frowned. “I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Digging in the bag again, he stuffed something in his pocket and moved closer to her.

He took her hands and pulled her to her feet. “I’ve been such an ass. I’ve been having a

huge pity party and beating myself up for things I couldn’t change. I’ve neglected the one

true miracle in my life, Isabelle, and I’ve been blind as a bat when it came to seeing what

was right in front of me.”

Emily closed her eyes. Afraid of what he might say next, afraid of what he might not

say. “Colin, I––”

He covered her mouth with his, the kiss gentle and warm. “Open your eyes, let me

finish.” He cupped her face in his hand. “I’ve made such a mess of everything, Em. I’ve

hurt the people I love because I was afraid to lose again. It took a couple of good friends

to make me realize I was losing it all anyway.”

He searched her eyes, his full of hope. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I need you

and Isabelle in my life. I need you.” He placed another kiss on her mouth, and then traced

her jaw line to her ear. “I love you,” he whispered and pulled back.

She gasped, tears spilling down her cheeks. Wiping the fallen tears, he replaced them

with more soft kisses.

“I love you, Emily. I don’t want to waste any more time. I’ve already missed so much.

Debbie Gould

32

I can promise you, with everything I am, I won’t make the same mistakes. You and

Isabelle will come first in my life.”

“Oh, Colin. Don’t make promises you can keep. Promises I didn’t ask you to make.”

“I’ve realized my family can come first, Em. I love what I do, but it’s not who I am.

Not anymore. I’m a father, and I want to be your lover, your best friend. Your husband.

Will you marry me?”

He took the ring from his pocket. A beautiful, solitaire round cut diamond with a silver

band sparkled in his hand.

Emily blinked from the ring to Colin. Heart pounding, hope and caution warred within

her. “Are you sure?”

Colin sank to his knees. “Oh, God, Emily. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my

life. Please, marry me.”

Emily let the tears run freely and tugged on Colin’s hands, bringing him off his knees.

“Then of course I’ll marry you.”

Colin let out a whoop, lifted her off her feet, and swung her around. “Lord, woman, I

love you.”

Emily laughed and threw her arms around his neck. “I love you, too.”

He glanced around the room. “Come on, let’s decorate this house. We’re gonna have

one hell of a great Christmas.”

~ABOUT THE AUTHOR~

Born in Wichita Falls, Texas, at the age of two Debbie and her mother
moved to New Jersey, spending many happy years on her grandparents'
horse farm. You'll sometimes find this setting as a backdrop in her work.

As a teenager, she and her mother found a new home in Vermont, where she
currently resides. With a daughter in the Air Force (along with Debbie's six-
year-old grandson), and two sons working for the family Well Drilling
business, Debbie now shuffles her time between a husband, full time job as a
nurse and her writing career

About seven years ago, while looking at over three hundred treasured books
lining her shelves, she realized there was a multitude of stories of her own
clamoring for release. Since then, she's seriously persevered in keeping the
keyboard in constant motion

.

You can visit Debbie at:

www.authordebbiegould.com

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