Terry O'Reilly Tangled Web

Tangled Web

By Terry O’Reilly

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JMS Books LLC

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Terry O’Reilly

ISBN 978-1-61152-181-8

Cover Photo Credit:

Dunca Daniel

Used under a Standard Royalty-Free License.
Cover Design:

J.M. Snyder

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This book is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It contains

substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and

incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination
and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to
actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Published in the United States of America.
NOTE: This e-book was previously published by Aspen

Mountain Press.

* * * *

Tangled Web

By Terry O’Reilly

Kevin Baker sat at his desk in the Third Street Bank and

Trust. Anxious about the time, he surreptitiously checked his
watch as his secretary droned on with the review of that day’s
accomplishments.

It was 4:46 P.M. Fourteen more minutes. Please don’t let

any last minute drama come busting through that door, Kevin
thought. I wanta get to the gym. I gotta see him again.

The ‘him’ was a six foot something hunk of a bear—as the

personals would describe him—who had captivated Kevin’s
attention at the local gym for the previous three weeks. He didn’t
come to the gym every day, but came often enough that Kevin
was always looking for him, always hoping he would show up.

The guy was husky and handsome. His head was shaved;

he had hoops in both ears and a tattoo of a leopard on his upper
left arm. Kevin guessed he had blue eyes. He had never been
close enough to make sure. The one time Kevin had been close,
on opposite sides of a rower they both were heading to use, he
had been so flabbergasted that he didn’t look directly at the man.
Kevin was sure the guy had a salt and pepper Van Dyke. Kevin
figured the man was in his forties, maybe fifty. That made Kevin
feel good because he was fifty-five. Well, okay, fifty-eight, but
Kevin thought he looked fifty-five, so that was what he put in his
personal on the Older 4 Me website. Kevin had had few hits to
his ad. He figured it was because he’d been honest and included
the information that he was married. The few guys who had
responded were in the same situation as Kevin. But no one
turned him on like the man at the gym.

“Mr. Baker?”
“Yes, Marianne?”
“I said, what do you want me to do about the Johnson

application for a small business loan? They’ve called three times
and need—”

“Oh…yes…I’ll call them in the morning. I…” Kevin

checked his watch again, 5:05… “ I have an important…ah…
meeting to get to.”

“All right,” she sighed, “but please call them. They’re

getting on my nerves.”

“I will. Don’t worry.” Johnson, Shonson. It’s five and I’m

outta here, he thought.

Marianne gathered her notes and left the office. Kevin

looked over the papers on his desk one last time and went into
his private bathroom to get ready to go. He pissed and stepped
to the sink to wash his hands. Gazing at his reflection he
assessed himself for the umpteenth time that day.

He stood just under six feet, weighed about one-hundred-

seventy-five and could be considered well-built. He didn’t have
the genes of a body builder, although he had aspired to that for
as long as he could remember, but his regular workouts had
produced good muscle tone and he was well proportioned. He
flexed his chest muscles and pulled in his belly.

Yeah, I’m reasonably attractive.
His dream man did have those genes. He had a massive

chest and arms as big as Kevin’s thighs. Dream Man’s belly
protruded, but Kevin had no objection to that. In fact, Kevin found
a round, firm, domed belly as much of a turn on as a six-pack.
The guy’s waist was slim, his back tapering in a perfect ‘v’ and
his butt…oh, man…his butt. It was round and firm and about as
perfect as you could get. It filled out those shorts, from which
extended fantastic tree trunk legs, to the point of premature
ejaculation just from thinking about it. Kevin had never caught
him naked in the locker area or showers and that was his main
objective: he wanted to see what was under the shorts and
sleeveless sweats the guy always wore.

Kevin checked his reflection one last time—smoothing his

thinning brown hair and grinning at the image of the slight tent of
his trousers in the mirror. Just thinking about Dream Man made
things happen. One last look and Kevin picked up his gym bag
and headed for the door. A thought struck him: his wedding band.
He looked down at the plain, gold ring. He thought of the lack of
hits on his personal ad. With a pang of remorse, Kevin removed it

from his finger and put it in his pocket. He closed the bathroom
door behind him and crossed the room to the outer office.

The phone rang. “Holy Shit! Not now!”
“Yes?”
“Mr. Baker, I’m sorry, but I’m glad I caught you. It’s Mr.

Johnson. I tried to put him off, but then he asked to speak to Mr.
Wallace.” Marianne sounded apologetic. She was a good
secretary. She was looking out for Kevin’s ass. Mr. Wallace was
the bank president.

“That’s okay, Marianne, thanks for running interference.

Put Johnson on.”

For the next fifteen minutes Kevin schmoozed Mr.

Johnson, assuring him the approval for his loan was a mere
formality. Johnson seemed appeased and Kevin could get on to
the important business of the evening.

As he hung up the receiver he offered a quick prayer to

Saints Serguis and Bacchus, two saints of the church purported to
be gay, for protection from all further interruptions to his quest, then
felt another pang of guilt, this time for praying for sexual favors.

Kevin left the office, passing Marianne at her desk. He

thanked her again for her attention to detail in saving him the
embarrassment of having to explain to the president of the bank
his reluctance to deal with a customer. Kevin crossed the street
in the middle of the block and almost sprinted to his SUV in the
parking garage.

* * * *

Kevin walked up to the gym’s reception desk. He showed

his credentials to the handsome young man seated behind the
desk. Often he would talk to Denny, the young Adonis, secretly
admiring the well developed chest and deltoids displayed so well
in his skintight Under Armour top. Some of the comments Denny
made caused Kevin to suspect the guy was gay. However, today
Kevin wanted to get to the lockers and see if Dream Man was in
the gym. Trying to be as polite as he could, Kevin cut the
conversation short and headed through the door marked "Men".

Once inside the well-kept locker room, Kevin checked out

every aisle. There were a few members in each in various stages
of undress. He nodded to some he knew or had seen in the gym
before and made his way to the end of an almost empty row. He
had the feeling today was going to be another disappointment.
Damn that phone!

Changing into his jock, shorts, tank top and gym shoes,

Kevin made his way to the towel window and picked up a large,
fluffy towel with the name of the gym inscribed on it. He walked
down the hall, past the scales and showers, turned right and
went through the double doors into the main gym. There he was
greeted by a cacophony of sounds: clanging of weight machines,
pounding of feet on treadmills, voices from the TV sets above
them, and of course, grunts and groans of the men and women
striving for health and/or physical perfection.

Kevin wandered around the exercise floor for a few

minutes and came to the conclusion Dream Man wasn't there.
He sighed and started to get down working on his program.
Kevin quickly became frustrated, as the gym was more crowded
than usual. Thursday night. Everyone trying to get a pump for the
weekend, he thought. He couldn’t do his circuit-training program,
which took care of both cardio and muscle building. With so
many people there he couldn’t move from machine to machine
fast enough. Deciding to work on free weights, Kevin thought
he'd hit the steppers or treadmills later, when the crowd thinned.

The lone station that was open was the bench press.

“Fuck!” he muttered under his breath. Someone had left the bar
on the rack with four hundred and fifty pounds of weight, with
each disk weighing 75 pounds. Kevin surveyed the situation with
his hands on his hips.

“Need some help with that?” A deep baritone voice

sounded behind him. Kevin whirled around and came nose to
chest with Dream Man, so close he could feel the heat radiating
from his body.

As Kevin looked up into the steel blue eyes, ah, they are

blue, the man said, “Hate it when some jerk does that.”

Kevin was first struck dumb by the exhilaration of being in

such close proximity to the hunk, within inches of the thick,
golden hair curling around the neck of the sweatshirt, the
prominent nipples straining against the fabric. Then he was
embarrassed to think the guy thought he was too puny to tackle
adjusting the weights by himself.

“You take this side,” Dream Man said, walking to the other

side of the bar. “On three. One, two…”

Kevin realized just in time that Mr. Muscles did not think

him puny, but was offering to help him readjust the weight by
keeping the bar balanced.

“Three!” Kevin and Dream Man each removed a 75 pound

steel plate.

“What weight?”
“One-fifty,” Kevin lied. This was 25 pounds heavier than

he normally used, but…

They each removed one more plate. “You need a spot?”
“Yeah…that’d be great.” Kevin couldn’t believe it. Dream

Man was going to spot him while he lifted.

Kevin lay down on his back on the bench. The hunk stood

behind the bench, legs spread, just inches from the top of
Kevin’s head. Kevin could feel the blood rushing to his groin.

As he lay looking up at the bar and the bulging crotch just

inches away, Kevin felt like he couldn’t breathe. He was glad he
was wearing a jock. Somehow he was able to complete three
sets of twelve with a weight 25 pounds heavier than usual.

“Nice job, man.” The deep voice boomed out.
“Thanks…uh?”
“Jake, name’s Jake.” Dream Man stuck out his hand.

Kevin grabbed it as he was pulled upright from the bench.

“Kevin, Kevin Baker.” Kevin winced. In his enthusiasm for

being so near Jake, he’d given his real name. He always made
up a name with his sex partners. Then he realized what he had
just thought. This guy was no sex partner…just a workout
buddy…if even that.

“Well, nice job, Kevin Baker. Give a holler if you need a

spot again.”

“Yeah, thanks, I will.” Kevin watched as the most beautiful

buns in the world undulated away. He took a deep breath and
rearranged himself in his jockstrap.

For the rest of the evening Kevin tried to position himself

near where Jake was working out. He noticed the big man was
friendly with almost everyone. This bothered him for some
reason. Every now and then Kevin would make eye contact with
Jake. When that happened the man smiled and nodded. Twice
he gave Kevin the thumbs up. Each time Kevin’s heart rate sped
up and his groin tightened.

After about an hour of heavy workout, Jake disappeared into

the locker room. Kevin finished up the set he was doing and hurried
after him. Kevin checked every aisle, but was bewildered. Jake
seemed to have vanished. Deflated, Kevin walked to his locker,
stripped and deposited his sweaty towel in the barrel. Wrapping a
clean towel around his waist, he headed for the sauna.

To Kevin’s surprise the dry heat room was empty. So

many people in the gym and here the room is empty. He climbed
to the top bench and sat with his back against the wall, closed
his eyes and let the heat do its magic.

He heard the door open, felt a brief waft of cool air. He

opened his eyes and saw to his delight Jake had entered. Jake’s
towel wasn’t wrapped around his waist, oh no. It was slung over
one massive shoulder, allowing a gorgeous, thick cut cock at
about half-mast to be displayed in all its glory. Kevin calculated:
six and a half, seven hard, definite upward curve. His own cock
responded in record time. He adjusted the towel around himself.

Jake looked up, saw Kevin, smiled, and took the benches

two at a time. “Mind if I join you?”

Before Kevin had time to respond, the man of his

fantasies for the last three weeks was sitting naked right next to
him. All that room in the sauna and Jake sat next to him. What
happened next blew Kevin’s mind.

Jake spread his legs until his right knee came in contact

with Kevin’s left thigh. Kevin’s breath caught in his throat. With
his left hand Jake began stroking the crease between his now
erect penis and his leg. Kevin stared at the man's cock. Fully
erect it resembled a rhino horn in its curve. The exquisite head

leaked pre-cum. Kevin’s left hand was on the bench between
them, next to Jake’s right. Jake extended his right pinky until it
came in contact with Kevin’s. Kevin could barely breathe. His
dick was throbbing to the beating of his heart. He was about to
return the pressure when the door to the sauna opened once
more. Two young men came in, laughing and talking. The spell
was broken.

Jake covered himself with his towel and removed his leg

and finger from contact with Kevin.

Kevin heard him mutter, “Damn.”
In a few minutes several other club members arrived.
Jake got up. “See ya,” he said and left.
Kevin sat for several minutes, still stunned by the incredible

turn of events. Then his brain started to function. Shower!

Almost falling down the rows of benches and sweating

bodies, he headed for the door. He hurried down the hall and to
the showers. There at the far end stood Jake, his head against
the wall, water cascading down his glorious body. Kevin couldn’t
make himself take a shower close to Jake. He was too afraid he
was making a mistake. Instead he stood under the needle spray
at the opposite end of the huge shower room.

Jake looked up. He gave Kevin a weak smile, waved and

was gone. By the time Kevin got out of the shower, Jake had left.

“You dumb fuck!” Kevin remonstrated with himself later as

he dressed. “You fuckin’ idiot. What more did you need, a fuckin’
engraved invite?” He slammed his fist against the locker door.

“What was that?” an older man queried as he came

around the corner of the lockers.

“Nothing,” Kevin lied. “Just forgot the com.”

* * * *

Kevin parked his SUV in the garage and went into the

house.

“Hi, hon,” said his wife.
“Hi,” he replied half-heartedly.
“Long day at work? You’re later than usual.”

God, she knew he was at the gym, not at work. He always

went to the gym on Thursday, geez. Kevin repressed his sarcasm.
For some reason Gloria’s casual comment irritated him.

“No, Gloria, not a long day. Stopped at the gym. It was

crowded. Took some extra time.”

“Meet anyone interesting?”
Kevin froze. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Gloria looked up from the paper she was reading.

“Nothing. Just sometimes you tell me about the interesting
people you see there, that’s all.”

“Oh…sorry. I guess I am a bit over tired.”
“Well, I’m going to yoga. You take a shower. Dinner’s in

the fridge. Get some rest.”

Gloria got up, came around the kitchen table and gave

Kevin a kiss. “Maybe you’ll be rested up by the time I get home?”
She gave him the look that he knew all too well. It meant she
was expecting more than a good night kiss.

She smiled and kissed him again. Kevin smiled back, but

inside he was moaning. Maybe when you get home, I’ll be sound
asleep, he thought. He had enjoyed sex with his wife in the early
years, but now…now it was a duty he performed, but not without the
aid of some hot fantasies. He loved her. But…well, he loved her.

Gloria reached out and took hold of his hands. “Well?” she

said, as if waiting for a response to her invitation to intimacy. But,
before Kevin could come up with one she said, “Where’s your ring?”

“My ring?” Kevin replied. For a minute he couldn’t connect

with what she was saying.

“Your wedding ring.” Gloria’s voice had a stressed, almost

frightened quality.

“Oh, yeah…” Kevin thrashed about, trying to find

something to say to assure Gloria there was a logical reason
why he would remove the symbol of their union. “Ah…I told you
the gym was crowded.”

“And?” Gloria cocked her head to one side.
“Well, I couldn’t use the machines. Had to do free weights.”
“So?”
“Well, the bars pinch the ring against my skin…” He

looked at her. Was she buying this? “Well, it hurts.” He
admonished himself for sounding like a whiner.

“Oh. Where is it now?”
“Right here.” He pulled it out of his trouser pocket and

replaced it on his finger.

She relaxed and smiled. “Okay, but I don’t want you

playing single to try and entice some of those pretty, young work-
out bunnies at the gym with that hunky body of yours.”

She winked and kissed him again.
If you only knew, Kevin thought. But he said with mock

exasperation, “Gloria, I’m fifty-five for God’s sake.”

“You’re fifty-eight, but you know you look forty-eight. My

Lord, you spend enough time working out.”.

Kevin was relieved, but also flattered at the thought that

he might look younger. He knew better, but he liked the thought
anyway, even if it was coming from his wife of thirty-some years.

“Bye.” Gloria grabbed her purse and headed out the door.
Kevin sighed. He had dodged a bullet. He waited until the

automatic garage door closed before beginning to prepare for his
usual yoga night pastime: jacking off to porn video clips while
Gloria saluted the sun.

Kevin went into the bedroom and changed from his suit to

a pair of soft-cotton plaid pajama bottoms. He chose to remain
shirtless, as was his custom for these self- pleasuring sessions.
That way he could rub his free hand over his chest and stimulate
his nipples. He padded to the bathroom where he kept his stash
of Astroglide, retrieved a bottle from the shelf and headed for the
computer in the home office.

Shaking the mouse to remove the screen saver; he typed

in the password to get him to his personal settings and checked
his private email account. There were several messages from
buddies with whom he corresponded, as well as one new
message saying someone had responded to his profile on the
personals site on which he had an ad. He went to the site and
found that a young married man in a neighboring state had sent
him a message. The email said he was into older men and found
the picture Kevin had posted hot. Kevin smiled, wrote a quick

thank you response and added to himself, “Too bad you live so
far away. You’re kinda hot yourself.

Besides, he silently added as he clicked the link under My

Favorites that brought him to his most used porn site, Jake is my
focus right now.

The site opened and Kevin navigated his way to the

movie clip section. There he clicked on ‘Gay’ and settled back in
his high backed leather chair, placing the bottle of Astroglide
within arms reach. He wished he could pay to become a member
of the site and have access to the longer, complete films, but
Gloria paid the household bills. Couldn’t very well explain that
away when an entry for XXX films appeared on the credit card
statement. As it was, Kevin’s computer was set to a program
which would allow automatic replay. So, if he found a stimulating
scenario, he could watch the short fifteen to thirty second clip
over and over without bothering to sit up and restart. Normally he
would browse through the many categories of clips, jumping
around in amateur, mature, muscle, cops, jocks and cowboys.
That night he concentrated his search on bears. Jake was a
definite bear and Kevin wanted to be able to superimpose mental
images of him on the images of the bears in action. This had
been his practice for the past three weeks: ever since he had
caught sight of Jake at the gym.

Finding a hot sequence of clips involving a burly, closely-

cropped red-haired man of about forty with a somewhat younger
man with less bulk, a smooth body and a moustache, Kevin
settled back in the chair and began to massage his cock and
balls. The first sequence showed the red haired bear entering a
room and walking up to the younger man: taking him in his arms
and kissing him with lots of tongue action. Sounds of moaning
and smacking emanated from the speakers. The men were
clothed, but, for Kevin, this was as stimulating as any scene he
could have picked. Kissing was high on his list of ‘things that turn
me on,’ he had posted in his personal ad.

Kevin allowed this short scene to replay several times as

his massages turned to stroking and his penis rose to its full
height of close to six inches. With his free hand, he played with

the thick, dark-brown pubic hair at the base while he thought
Jake, yes, Jake.

The second sequence had the bear on his knees,

swallowing the swollen head of the younger man’s dick, while the
latter rubbed his partner’s head with both hands.

“Yeah, oh, yeah,” crooned the speakers.
The suckee was leaning against a table on which stood a

bottle of some sort of liquor and two half full glasses: liquor and
sex, a definite turn-on for Kevin. He responded by increasing the
pressure on his cock and adding a good amount of lube to the
mix. His cock was now engorged and he was getting into the
realms where fantasy and reality merged.

The next clip had the bear between the smooth man’s

legs, looking down into his partner’s eyes with lust and, as Kevin
imagined, love. Love was always part of the equation in Kevin’s
fantasies. Even on the rare occasions when he was with a man,
he always pretended there was love involved. His stroking had
increased in speed. He was rubbing his hair-shrouded nipples as
the bear’s huge dick head made contact with the sphincter and
disappeared within its confines. Shit, that must hurt, thought the
voyeur, but the man on the screen was moaning his assent to
the invasion of his body. Kevin let the clip replay four times.

Screen four showed the red-haired bear pulling out and

removing the rubber and jacking his cock. The other man yelled
encouragement as he rubbed his hand across his own abdomen
that was already covered with cum.

“Yeah, fuck, yeah,” moaned the bear as he came close to

climax.

“Jake, yes Jake,” moaned Kevin, writhing in his chair,

pumping his prick in rhythm to the man on the screen.

Kevin’s free hand cupped his balls. The scene ended with

the eruption as ropes of cum flew from the swollen, red dick of the
Jake on the screen to the face and chest of the guy lying beneath
him. Kevin let it replay several times. On the fourth replay he
allowed himself to ejaculate with the man on the monitor.

“Jake, Jake, I love you,” Kevin cried out as three spurts of

cum coated his hand and pubes.

He no longer shot as far as when he was younger, but at

that moment he didn’t care. The ecstasy of release and the
wonder of the Jake in his mind were all that mattered. He was the
man on the floor. Jake had just fucked him. He was in heaven.

As the last few dribbles of cum oozed from his softening

cock, Kevin watched the clip repeat several more times. His
breathing came back to normal. He took a deep breath.

“Fuck,” he said out loud. Why the fuck didn’t you go after

Jake in the shower and let him know you were interested? That
coulda been us tonight, he thought, still watching the bear on the
screen cum over and over with roars of pleasure.

“Next time,” he said out loud. “Next time I will.”
Kevin got up, careful not to let the semen that coated his

hand drip on the keyboard or the counter top. He turned off the
computer, padded to the bathroom, showered and was in bed
before Gloria’s voice came through the haze of near sleep.

“Kev? Kev? You awake?”
Kevin feigned sleep. He sort of stretched and moaned.

Gloria lay down beside him.

Kevin took a deep breath as she draped her arm over his

chest and snuggled next to him.

I’m sorry, honey, he thought. But, despite feeling guilty,

Jake was the one on his mind as he drifted off to sleep.

* * * *

It was 5:17 P.M. Tuesday afternoon. Kevin sat at his

desk, shuffling papers, drumming his fingers, and watching the
colon on his digital desk clock flash off the seconds as he
chomped at the bit. He was waiting for Marianne to deliver a
stack of papers to be signed: loan approvals, loan declines.

He hadn’t been to the gym since the previous Thursday.

Hence he hadn't had an opportunity to see Jake and make up for
the stupid mistake of not letting him know he was interested in
whatever Jake had been proposing in the sauna.

Friday morning he had announced to Gloria that he would

be going to the gym that afternoon; not a usual Friday practice.

She had reminded him her parents were flying in from
Albuquerque for the weekend and he was to pick them up. She'd
been ticked he hadn't remembered that important detail. He'd
been so absorbed in his rehearsal of what he would say to Jake,
he'd forgotten. He’d apologized, then cursed his luck.

The hours of the weekend had dragged. Each had

seemed like a day. Even the usual enjoyable Saturday afternoon
of college football hadn’t been able to distract him from thoughts
about Jake.

There had been church on Sunday. That had been the

one moment when his determination to seek out Jake had
faltered. The priest had given a sermon on how holy discipline
could counter ones base instincts. He'd made the analogy of
how a well-disciplined dog would resist his instinctive urge to
chase a rabbit or squirrel and not run off from his master or drag
him down the street. At that point Kevin had felt a surge of guilt.
He’d rationalized it away as he always did. He wouldn't be
tempted if he was straight and had his needs met by his wife.
Being gay was not his fault. This need to seek out a man was not
his doing. Therefore these high ideals didn't apply to him.

Monday he had been ready to bolt for the gym at the end

of the day, only to be reminded there was a board of directors
meeting he couldn't duck out of.

Now here it was, Tuesday! Would this string of roadblocks

never end?

He pressed Marianne’s number on the office speed dial.
“Yes?”
“Marianne, what’s the hold-up?” He tried not to sound too

irritated.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Baker. The printer went down. I called Jerry

from tech support. He's here now. He says we'll be back online
in a jiff.”

“Well, bring the papers in as soon as you can.”
A half hour later he was finally on his way to the gym.

Once more he rehearsed the speech that he’d practiced for Jake
all weekend. He felt nervous, almost panicky. He entered the
reception area, checked in with the young stud behind the desk

and walked into the locker room. He dressed in record time and
headed for the main room; to its sounds, sights and smells of
bodies in motion.

Kevin almost trotted around the gym, straining his eyes for

a glimpse of Jake. After fifteen minutes he was sure the man
wasn't there. Dejected he walked back out into the reception area.

“Denny?”
“Yeah, Mr. B, what can I do for ya?” The buff young man

was dressed today in a tank top with spaghetti thin straps that
showed off his upper body. In spite of his anxiety over Jake,
Kevin enjoyed the pleasant sight before him.

“Denny, can you tell me if a guy named Jake has been in?”
“Sure. Got a last name?”
“Ah, no. Sorry.”
“Well, let’s see what we can do.” Denny turned to the

computer.

“Sorry, no Jakes listed. Got some Jacobs.”
“Great! That's probably it. How many?”
“Six. And all of them have been in a couple of times in the

last week.”

Shit, Kevin fumed. “Try last Thursday.”
Denny searched. “Bingo. Only one Jacob was in last

Thursday. Jacob Whittiker.”

“That’s gotta be him.” Kevin’s heart leapt into his throat.
“Hmmm,” said Denny, almost drooling. “Six foot four, two-

forty! Fifty-two inch chest, thirty-four waist. Wow, twenty inch
biceps, forty inch quads.”

While Denny ticked off Jakes stats, Kevin mentally

painted the picture. He sighed.

“How about an address? A phone number?”
“Sorry, Mr. B., no can do.” Denny shook his head. “That’s

confidential.”

“Oh, you can tell me his stats, but not where he lives?”
“Sorry.”
“Can you tell me when he was here last?”
“Sure. Let’s see.” More tapping of keys. “Hmmmm. He

was in Friday, Sunday, and yeah, today.” Denny raised his

eyebrows. “Jessica musta checked him in. I woulda remembered
for sure. Only here for about twenty minutes and left. You musta
just missed him. Guess he didn’t find what he was looking for.”

Denny followed his last statement with a suggestive grin

directed at Kevin.

Kevin felt himself blush, despite his angst at being held up

at the bank and missing a chance to confront Jake.

“Thanks anyway, Denny,” Kevin managed as he went

back into the workout area. His thoughts were jumbled. But, as
he worked up a sweat, he had the realization Jake had come
and gone that day without working out. Was that a hopeful sign?

* * * *

Kevin went half-heartedly to the gym Wednesday. He

changed his mind about asking if Jake had been there when he
saw it was the young woman on duty. What was her
name…Janet or Jessica…whatever?

Kevin went through the motions of his work out.

Sometimes he couldn’t even remember which set he was on, or
which machine he had already done. Not that he was dwelling on
Jake, but rather his brain just seemed numb.

Sitting on the same bench press where Jake had helped

him, he said to himself, You’re a pathetic lump of crap! Get over
it! So you missed out on this guy. So what? Get a life. Somehow
this little pep talk seemed to work, because Kevin started feeling
better and went about the rest of his routine with more
enthusiasm. He even thought about the emails he had received
from the guy in the next state. Maybe three hundred miles wasn’t
that far away after all.

Kevin showered and went home. Gloria greeted him with

a kiss as usual and launched into a detailed discussion of her
day. Their daughter had called twice with questions about the
new baby. Their son had called. “Kevin, you should be the one
talking to him.” He was having trouble at work. His boss was on
his case. Kevin would know better than she how to advise him.
Yadda, yadda, yadda.

As soon as he could, after helping with dinner clean up,

Kevin left Gloria curled up on the couch watching reruns of Law
and Order, SVU and headed for the computer. He logged on with
his password. Kevin didn’t have to explain why he and his wife
had separate passwords, as Gloria’s knowledge of computers
could be detailed on a pinhead. She never questioned the
arrangement. Before going into his emails; he checked a site that
showcased bears. Bad choice. The featured bear was a guy that
could have been Jake’s twin except he was uncut. “Fuck.”

Mustering up his resolve to let the Jake incident go, Kevin

logged onto the personals site on which he had an ad and went
to his mailbox. There were no new messages from the guy next
door. Well, next state anyway. That didn’t surprise Kevin, as he
had only responded once and hadn't answered the next four
emails from the kid. He reopened and read them.

Hi Kenny.
AKA: Me, Kevin thought.
Thanks for responding. I know you are about two-hundred

miles away

No, three-hundred, kid.
But, man, I find you so hot. I would love to see where this

could go. I am into older guys and I am married just like you.
Could we give this a chance?

Hugs, Derrick.
Kevin opened the next note.
Hey Ken, I know I am being pushy, but I really think we

could click. You said in your first email you thought I was hot,
too. Well, here are a couple more pix. Tell me what you think.
Hugs and more, Derrick

Kevin opened the pictures. The guy was cute. He was, as

he had said in his ad, of average build and endowment. But he
had a nice ass and a nice hair pattern on his chest and abs.

Kevin wrote back.
Hi, Derrick, Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I am

rereading your messages. I had company over the weekend: in-
laws, ugh! Liked what I saw.

Yes, you did, Kevin told himself.

Here are some pix of me that you might…
He thought better of sending the pictures. He deleted that.
Hugs back, Kenny.
Third email.
Kenny, I hope that the reason you aren’t writing is

something other than you are not interested. There are not a lot
of guys in our situation and, well, when you find someone that is
and is what you like…well, I just hope I hear from you. Derrick.

Kenny/Kevin replied:
Derrick, Yes, I am interested. As I said in the email I just

sent, I think you are hot and want to see what can happen here.
So, let’s keep writing and maybe we can find a way to meet. Ken.

Kevin pressed ‘send’ and then opened Derrick’s last

email, dated the day before.

Well, I guess you are another no show. Really bummed as

I thought this was going to work. We seemed to match really well.
You know, what we were looking for, the things we liked sexually,
you know. Well, hope you are well. Thanks for reading this. If you
did. Derrick.

The kid sounds needy, thought Kevin. Maybe I shouldn’t

have written what I did? Oh, well, too late now.

Kevin went to the family email site and checked out the

messages. None of which he was too excited about. The usual…

Hi Mom and Dad how are you…Blah, Blah, Blah.
Gloria, Here are the recipes you asked for…
“Whoopee,” Kevin said out loud. He was just about to

close the computer down when, a ‘message from Derrick is in
your mailbox.’ alert appeared.

Kevin sighed. Let’s see what the kid has to say.
OMG! Thank you, thank you for writing. I thought this was

a lost cause. I am on cloud nine and hard as a rock. I am looking
at your picture and getting ready to blow my load. OMG! Below is
my cell phone number. I am the only one on this phone so call
me anytime. Fuck I am so happy. Call me tonight if you can.

Kevin read the number.
Love, Derrick.
“Love, Derrick?” It was Kevin’s turn to say OMG! And he

did, loudly. Then he looked over his shoulder to see if there was
a response from the family room.

He couldn’t deal with this now. He closed down the

computer and went to sit with Gloria on the couch. She cuddled
up and Kevin realized she was on track to initiate sex. This
wasn't his night.

* * * *

Later, in the bedroom, Gloria came out of the master bath.
“Do you think I’m fat?” she asked, turning to look at

herself over her shoulder in the three-fold full-length mirror.

Dutifully Kevin replied, “Of course not.”
“Did you weigh yourself at the gym today?”
“Yes.”
“Well?”
Kevin hadn't been eating well during the Jake episode. He

knew what would happen if he said he had lost weight, so he
lied. “I was my usual, one-hundred-seventy-five.”

“Well, I must be gaining. I look bloated, don’t you think?”
“You look fine, honey.” On cue he rose from the bed and

put his arms around her.

“I feel like I weigh one-hundred-fifteen,” she pouted.
At five feet one inch, 115 pounds wasn't a problem to

anyone but Gloria.

“Do you weigh one-hundred-fifteen?”
“No, one-hundred-ten, but I feel like one-hundred-fifteen.”
Following the script, Kevin read his line. “You look as

young and slender as the day we were married.”

“Really?”
“Really.”
“Oh, Kev.”
She melted into his arms. As they lay down on the bed

kissing and fondling, he began the mental search for a fantasy
that would enable him to perform. His mind tossed to and fro
until it came to light on Jake and Denny. He super imposed
images of the two studs onto scenes from porn videos he had

seen and laced them with bottles of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels.
Drunken sex was his hot button, at least in fantasy. He became
hard enough to penetrate. Lucky for him Gloria was horny
enough to climax in a short time. Lucky, too, was the fact that he
hadn't come since his jack-off session the previous Thursday.
And when he did, all that filled his mind was the image of a giant
of a man, whose body belonged in a Greek museum. Jake!

Satiated, Gloria purred in his arms as she fell asleep.
Well, this is just dandy, Kevin thought. Just dandy. I’m hot

for a guy I’ll probably never see again, I got a little hottie miles
away who wants me, and I’m in bed with my wife.

“Fuck!”
“What’s that, dear?” Gloria’s sleepy voice whispered.
“Nothing. Go to sleep.”
Fuck, he said again. This time to himself.

* * * *

Kevin surprised himself Thursday at work. He was able to

concentrate on bank business for maybe twenty minutes at a
time, without either thinking about his letter to Derrick, or of his
infatuation with Jake.

As for the former, he hadn't a clue how to undo the

impulsive, rebound inspired email he'd sent to the kid. He could
just ignore the myriad of emails he knew would be coming,
asking: What happened? Was there something wrong? Was he
going to call? But, Kevin knew, understood, the loneliness of
being gay and married. He had been where Derrick was. And
wasn’t Derrick’s desperation a reflection of his own with regard to
Jake? No, he would write to Derrick and say something to make
him feel okay about the fact there was no way anything could
come of their long-distance romance as soon as he had a chance.

Romance? Had he used that word? Fuck, I am in bad

shape.

As far as thinking of Jake was concerned; his thoughts

ranged from wistful to despairing. Almost all hope had faded that
he would be able to connect with him again. What might have

been hopeful thoughts, were replaced with oh why, why, why?

Five-thirty came. Kevin said goodnight to Marianne and

headed for his car. Without thinking he carried his gym bag with
him; although he had no intention of going to the gym. Gloria had
reminded him it was her yoga night; so he didn’t have to hurry
home from his workout. He told her he wasn’t feeling great and
would be home right after work. He told her not to worry about
dinner. He would pick up something on his way.

He still had these thoughts on his mind when he realized

he had parked in his usual place in the gym’s lot.

Kevin gave a sardonic laugh. He started to back out of the

space, stopped and admonished himself again. “Get a life.”

Fortified by his own will power; he got out of the car and

walked into the building and up to the check in counter. Denny
looked up as he approached. A Cheshire Cat grin crossed his face.

“What? My fly open?” Kevin quipped.
“I wish,” Denny replied. “No, yer boyfriend’s here.”
“My what?” Kevin felt a surge of excitement, even as he

sensed the flush crawling up his neck to his cheeks.

“Your boyfriend is here,” Denny said again, enunciating

loudly. “You know, Hunky Jacob Whittiker?”

Kevin was breathless, enjoying the concept, but he

nevertheless said, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Well, you coulda fooled him. He sure acts like he thinks

he is,” Denny replied, sorting once more through the guest
passes he would hand out that night.

“Why would you say that?” Kevin couldn’t believe what he

was hearing.

“Well, Hunky Jake comes in awhile ago. And before he

even says howdy do, he says ‘Is Kevin here?’

“Then when I say no, he looks all deflated, like

yesterday’s helium balloon. That’s a man who thinks he has a
boyfriend.”

Kevin stood with his mouth open.
“Dude, get yourself in there. He’s waiting.”

* * * *

Kevin flew through the door to the men’s lockers. He

dressed so fast; he forgot his jock. Halfway to the gym door, he
realized he was hanging out the side of his short, silk workout
pants and went back to adjust his wardrobe. He started back
down the walkway, only to return to his locker to deposit his
wedding ring in his pants pocket.

Entering the main floor of the workout area, Kevin slowed.

He forced himself to take a deep breath to calm himself down. A
fifty-five, okay fifty-eight, year old man did not act like a kid on a
sugar high. He walked through the machines to the free weights,
searching.

There he was; sitting on the preacher curl bench, talking

to a man who looked like he was in training for some sort of body
builder’s competition. Kevin tried to keep himself from shaking.
Tried to keep from reading anything into the fact that Jake was
talking to a guy who made Kevin look like a used newspaper.
Jake looked up, saw Kevin and rose from the bench. He said
something to the guy he was talking to, and was in front of Kevin
in two strides.

“Jake, I—”
“No, shhh, s’okay. You’re here.”
“Jake. I was scared…I wanted to—”
“Com ’ere.”
Jake took Kevin by the upper arm and steered him to the

side of the gym, where the cardio equipment was placed.

“Jake, where’re we going?”
“Here,” Jake said with a smile.
Jake took Kevin around a corner into a short dark hallway.

The door at the end was marked Electrical Closet Authorized
Personnel Only. The view from the exercise floor was obscured.

The brief thought, He’s been here before, passed through

Kevin’s mind.

Jake turned Kevin to face him, put his massive arms around

Kevin, stared into his eyes for a long moment, and kissed him.

Kevin resisted for just a second, then surrendered to the

passion he had longed for all his life.

The kiss was long and intense. At its conclusion, Jake

pulled Kevin to his chest with one huge hand behind his head,
the other around his waist. Kevin could feel the big man’s heart
beating against his cheek; feel the bulge of Jake’s cock straining
against his own. This was no mere moment of passion. The
embrace communicated more than sex, there was affection
behind it. Kevin scarcely dared to believe his fantasy was coming
to life. He longed to allow his hands to roam to the firm, round
buttocks he had so admired: to knead the mounds of muscular
flesh, but he hesitated. He didn’t want to break the spell.

After a minute Jake spoke. “Man, I thought I might never

get to see you again.”

“Jake, I’m sorry,” Kevin began. “I just panicked last week.

I wanted to…but I just held back. I’m sorry,” he said again.

“Not a problem now. But, man, when you weren’t here at the

gym for a couple days, I was sure I had scared you off. Thought I
hadn’t picked up the signals right. Thought you were straight.”

Kevin didn't respond. He just increased the pressure of

his embrace.

“Let’s get outta here,” Jake whispered.
“What about our workout?”
“I got a better one planned for us.”
Kevin felt a surge of anticipation, followed by a flock of

butterflies settling in his midsection.

Jake bent down for one more kiss and then led the way out

of the alcove into the hubbub of the exercise room. Kevin
hesitated at the door, checking to see if anyone saw them
emerging; if anyone looked like they might suspect what had gone
on. To his relief no one seemed to be looking in their direction.

Kevin followed his soon to be lover into the locker area.

“Shower?” he asked.

“Later,” said Jake. “Get your stuff.”
Jake patted him on the butt and disappeared around the

corner. Kevin checked to make sure the row of lockers was empty.

They came out of the lockers into reception together and

headed for the front doors. Denny looked up from the desk,
where he was checking in two new arrivals. “Hey,” he said in a
louder than needed voice. “I see you two hooked up. Have a

good time, you guys.”

Kevin cringed and blushed, but Jake bellowed “Yes siree!”

and gave Denny the thumbs up.

Oh, God, Kevin thought, looking at the two men who were

at the desk signing in. He was relieved when they didn’t seem to
be paying any attention to him or Jake.

Out in the parking lot, Jake asked, “My place or yours?

How far are you?”

Kevin’s home was minutes away. He couldn't take Jake

there even though Gloria would be gone…Gloria! He had to call
her and make up some excuse for being late. He decided to lie.

“I’m about forty-five minutes. You?”
“About ten miles, guess we’ll go there. Where’s your

wheels?”

“The SUV over there. I’ll follow you.”
“Oh, no, you don’t, buster,” Jake said with mock

seriousness, wrapping Kevin in a one-armed hug right there in
public. “I’m not letting you out of my sight again.”

Gratified, but feeling conspicuous, Kevin grinned up at the

man’s smiling face. God he’s beautiful.

“Okay, hop in, I’ll drive.”
“Naw, I want you closer than that. Come’er. We’re gonna

take my bike.”

“A motorcycle? But, I’ve never…I’m in a suit.” This is

crazy, Kevin thought.

“You’ll love it, man. Stash your stuff and let’s go.”
Kevin walked to his vehicle. He dumped his gym bag in

the back, pulled out his cell and pressed ‘home’ on the quick dial.
He'd just finished recording a lame excuse for Gloria about some
of the guys going out for dinner after their workout, when Jake
walked up behind him.

“Ya gotta check in with someone?” Jake sounded a bit

hesitant.

“Ah…no. Just checking with the office for last minute…

um…stuff and…ah, stuff.”

Smooth, Baker, he thought.
“Where you work?”

Before he could stop himself, still flustered by his earlier

fumbling response, Kevin blurted out, “Third Street Bank and
Trust.”

Fuck! More personal stuff out.
“Hey, a money tycoon. You’re getting more appealing by

the minute.”

Kevin must have looked stricken, because Jake added,

“Hey, man, didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I’m into you
even if you’re dirt poor.”

Kevin smiled. “Well, now about that motorcycle.”
“Bike,” corrected Jake. “It’s a Harley.”
As it turned out, the bike ride to Jake’s modest two

bedroom home was a thrill. Kevin had never done anything like it
in his life. It was enthralling, hanging on to the big man, arms
tight around his waist, head against the broad back. He soon got
over his initial fear and relaxed. It was chilly, as he only wore his
suit, and his tie flapped in the slipstream, but Kevin decided he
might get one of these ‘bikes’ for himself. If he did, he would get
a leather jacket and chaps. That thought brought a thrill to his
groin as well.

As Jake opened the door and let him in, Kevin felt a pang

of apprehension. His other encounters had been in cheap motels,
sharing expenses with men who had to be just as discreet as he.
This man was single, out and thought Kevin was, too.

His apprehension was squelched as Jake turned to him and

said, “Welcome home, Kevin. I’ve dreamed of this for a long time.”

Kevin disregarded the anxiety the word ‘home’ aroused.
Jake took the smaller man in his arms and kissed him. This

time the kiss was full of desire and exploration. Tongues sought
each other; saliva was shared, hands groped, finding areas of
pleasure and excitement in the other's body. Kevin allowed
himself to discover the reality of the firm gleutial muscles that had
been the magnets of his attention for so many weeks. He was not
disappointed. The reality, in this case, matched the fantasy.

“Now for that shower,” Jake announced when the kiss

ended, both men breathing heavily.

It was clear Jake was in charge and would make the

decisions for the evening. That suited Kevin just fine. He wasn't
submissive, but preferred to have someone else take the lead.

“This way.”
Kevin followed Jake to the first small bedroom. As they

walked through the house, Kevin noted it was neat and clean,
modestly furnished. Definitely a gay man’s home, Kevin
observed. Posters of body builders and handsome, hunky male
models adorned the walls.

Gay Pride magazine was displayed on the coffee table.

Kevin felt envious of Jake's freedom to be who he was. He also
felt guilty, as Jake was under the impression he was also one of
the club.

In the bedroom, the two men stood on either side of the

bed. Jake started to undress. Kevin stood with his hands
hanging at his sides, mesmerized, as Jake pulled his shirt over
his head, revealing his golden-haired chest and abdomen. He
loosened his belt and looked at Kevin. Jake smiled and dropped
his pants. Kevin shook himself into action, shedding his suit coat
and tie, but he never took his eyes from the god revealing
himself before him.

Jake’s jeans slid to the floor. As he stepped out of them,

the muscles of his thighs and calves dazzled Kevin’s senses.
The tight white briefs clung to the contours of Jake’s erect penis.
Jake stood on first one foot and then the other as he removed
his socks. This caused his dick and balls to rotate back and forth
against his thighs. Kevin was having trouble breathing.

Kevin was now stripped to his briefs as well. He was a bit

chagrined that his were bikini style. This was one of his attempts
to feel at least a little openly gay. He had discovered many
married guys had little ways of letting it show, thereby satisfying
the need to be themselves. These particular briefs were paisley
purple and teal blue. He wished he had chosen his low rider,
white, Calvin Clines.

Again, the two men stood facing each other on either side

of the bed. Jake slowly, seductively hooked his thumbs in the
waistband of his briefs and inched the cotton fabric down over
the mound of flesh beneath them. His dense, curly, pubic hair

came into view, followed by the thick base of his cock. When the
waistband cleared the head, his dick arched up well past
horizontal; curving upward and dripping. Jake’s balls were as
spectacular as the rest of him. As he stepped out of his
underwear, they rolled back and forth on his legs. Round, red
and covered in the same golden down as the rest of him, they
caused Kevin to fight to repress a gasp.

“Your turn.”
Kevin realized he was standing, staring at the sights

revealed to him, still in his briefs. Snapping out of his inactivity;
he obeyed Jake's order, but with much less flair. His respectable
package now on display; he stood and sort of shrugged his
shoulders, almost in an apology.

“Turn around.”
Kevin obeyed. He had always thought his ass was one of

his good points, but in comparison to Jake’s? Well.

He needn’t have worried. As Kevin completed his rotation,

he heard Jake’s sharp exhale of breath. He turned to see delight
reflected back at him from Jake's eyes.

“Beautiful, man.”
Kevin smiled, relieved.
Jake knee crawled over the bed, stepped to the floor and

embraced Kevin once more. This was the first time there was
flesh to flesh contact. Kevin had no words to describe what was
going on in his mind, heart or body. He'd had enough sex with
guys to know what it felt like to be in a naked embrace, but this
ratcheted anything he had experienced up a notch. The feel of
Jake’s firm muscular body against his, the sensation of Jake’s
superb male equipment against him, were more than any fantasy
had prepared him for.

After several deep kisses, during which their bodies

ground against each other; Jake tipped Kevin’s chin, kissed his
nose and said. “Shower.”

* * * *

Jake’s bathroom was small, as would be expected for such

a modest house. The confined space was further exaggerated by
the size of its occupant. Every change of position, when both men
were in the cubicle, resulted in a delicious rubbing of body parts.
Kevin leaned against the sink as Jake bent into the shower to
adjust the water temperature. This afforded Kevin a fantastic view
of the golden-tinged globes. Overcome with temptation, Kevin
reached out and placed his hands on Jake’s hips, pulled himself
forward and pressed his very erect cock firmly against the crevice
between the butt cheeks.

“Oh, that’s nice, man. So nice.” Jake pushed back against

the pressure.

Kevin, usually a bottom, had a brief desire to grab his

cock and invade Jake’s body, declaring his love as he did. The
moment was cut short as Jake stood, turned and backed into the
shower stall, pulling Kevin in with him. As the water hit Kevin’s
face and body, he felt embarrassed by his forwardness. He
feared Jake’s avoidance of any further ass play indicated Kevin
had made a mistake. These thoughts were erased when Jake’s
deep voice came through the sound of the cascading water.
“We’ll save that special treat for later.”

Relieved by the big guy's words; Kevin responded to

Jake’s ministrations to his body. The stall being so small, the two
men barely fit, let alone wash. Evidently Jake had done this
before, as he showed Kevin how they could lather and bathe
each other within the restricted confines of the cubicle.

Cleaned and rinsed, the men clambered out of the stall.

Jake grabbed towels and they walked down the hall, drying
themselves and each other as they went. Once back in the
bedroom, Jake deposited his towel on the floor and climbed on
the bed. He lay on his right side, spread his arms wide, inviting
Kevin to fill them.

“Time for the main event,” he said with a broad smile.
Kevin joined the giant on the bed. He pressed his body

against Jake’s, desiring to be totally absorbed by the big man.
They kissed, caressed, kneaded, explored, sucked nipples,
muscles, faces, expressing their passions with moans and
exclamations. Jake slid down Kevin’s body and took Kevin’s dick

in his hand. He held it tight and began to lick the tip, swirling his
tongue around and around the head. Kevin was going crazy with
desire. Just when Kevin thought he could take no more, Jake
took the swollen phallus to the base and Kevin groaned his
appreciation.

Jake then rolled over on his back, pulling Kevin over on

top of him, so he was straddling Jake’s face. Kevin was now in a
position to take Jake’s cock in his mouth. As Kevin continued to
absorb the pleasure that Jake was giving him, he grabbed the
backs of the big man’s thighs and looked at the engorged
member inches from his face. He breathed in the clean scent of
soap, mingled with the aroma that Kevin knew belonged to Jake
alone. Prolonging the moment as long as he could, Kevin
lowered his mouth onto Jake’s waiting penis. As Kevin explored
his prize with his tongue, tracing the contours of the head,
probing the slit, following the veins, Jake moaned his
appreciation by thrusting upward and squirming beneath him.
Kevin then pulled off of Jake’s dick and began to lick his balls.
The mild, salty taste increased Kevin’s need for Jake’s body.

Kevin’s actions were met with a roar of approval from

Jake. Kevin licked, sucked, bit and tried to take as much of
Jake’s huge scrotum into his mouth as he could.

Jake was aroused to a frenzy.
After several minutes, Jake rolled Kevin over and pinned

him to the bed with his shins, kneeling above him, passion
blazing in his eyes. He placed two pillows behind Kevin’s head
and directed his hard cock at his mouth. Kevin hungrily took in
the offering and deep throated until he gagged. In and out in a
perfect rhythm, stopping only to lick and kiss the now throbbing
head, while first kneading Jake's ass, then twisting his nipples,
Kevin continued to worship his lover’s maleness. The sweetness
of Jake’s pre-cum filled Kevin’s nostrils and taste buds.

After a few minutes, the giant roared and Kevin could feel

volleys of cum shooting into his mouth and down his throat. This
was the best it had ever been. Jake’s semen was salty and
sweet. Kevin was in heaven.

Jake shuddered and pulled out. He bent down, putting

partial weight on Kevin’s chest. “Share?” he asked.

Kevin opened his mouth and allowed Jake to siphon off

the remains of the ejaculation.

“Fantastic,” they both said in unison. Then they laughed.
“I'm good for two in a row, you up for it?”
“Fantastic,” Kevin said again. “What now?”
Instead of answering, Jake slid down, kneeling between

Kevin’s legs. He raised them in the air. Starting with Kevin’s cock
and balls, Jake began an oral massage. Moving from there to the
soft skin beneath, he had Kevin moaning and writhing. Then
Kevin nearly shot off the bed when Jake’s tongue invaded his
ass. Kevin had been rimmed before, but never like this. Jake
could keep this up all night as far as Kevin was concerned.

Realizing what was coming next, Kevin turned his head to

the nightstand. He smiled when he saw a bottle of lube and the
shiny foil of a condom wrapper. He relaxed and let Jake’s tongue
and fingers work their magic.

“I’m ready,” Kevin moaned as Jake manipulated his anus

with three well-lubricated fingers.

“Yeah, I can feel that,” Jake said, in a voice not more than

a whisper. “I want this to be special for us both. We got
something good started here. Who knows where it could wind
up?” He leaned down and kissed Kevin in a tender, loving way.

Kevin shuddered with conflicting emotions. This was the

stuff of which his dreams had been made: the love of a man, the
satisfaction of his physical needs. Happiness pierced his heart.
But there was also guilt. Jake didn’t know that somewhere on the
other side of town was Gloria, in a full Lotus reaching for eternal
bliss. Dealing with that could wait. Right now, the more urgent
need was to consummate his relationship with Jake.

Jake rocked back on his knees.
“Now,” Kevin said.
“You are positive, ain’t ya? Cuz I am.” Jake locked eyes

with Kevin's.

“Yes, I’m positive,” Kevin replied. Positive I love you,

positive I want you inside me, positive I’ll do what it takes to
make this work, he thought.

“That’s great. Here we go.” Jake said, leaning toward the

nightstand.

“This is for us.” Jake murmured as he pressed his dick

head against Kevin’s anus. Kevin made a conscious effort to
relax. He was well opened, but nevertheless Jake’s girth caused
a good amount of resistance. Jake was patient and gentle and in
a minute or so Kevin felt the head enter his body. He bit his lip.

“You okay?”
“Yessss…ah…yeah…uh.”
Kevin was breathing in short gasps, enduring the

discomfort. Then with one swift movement, he reached around
Jake’s legs, grabbed the juncture between the leg biceps and the
beautiful ass and thrust himself forward, forcing Jake to invade
all the way to his pubic hair.

“Uh…uh,” grunted Kevin.
Jake moaned.
“Fantastic,” Kevin managed to get out.
Jake didn't move for several seconds. The union was

complete and sweet. Kevin surrendered and relaxed. He locked
his ankles around Jake’s neck and initiated a gentle rhythm by
again pulling on Jake’s legs and ass. Jake took up the cadence
and soon they were swooning to the sensations of the action,
drifting into a haze of sex and love.

“Oh, fuck, you are good. Oh, fuck, yeah,” Jake intoned

over and over.

He would plunge deep into Kevin and then pull all the way

out; only to reenter, going as deep as he could each time. When
he reached bottom, Kevin would experience a sharp feeling
almost like an electric shock in the tip of his penis.

He must be hitting my prostate, my love nut, he thought,

remembering the words from porn stories he'd read. In Kevin’s
limited experience no one had ever elicited this response from
his cock.

God, so that's what it’s all about. No wonder they write

about it.

They were both sweating now. Kevin didn’t know whether

he could cum from such stimulation, but even if he didn’t, the

sensations were so exhilarating he could go on forever.

Jake looked down. “I’m gettin’ close. That okay, you okay

with that?”

“Yes, whenever you want.”
“I love you, Kevin.”
“You, too.”
“Say it. Please say it,” Jake pleaded.
“I love you, Jake, I love you, I love you.”
Once the words were uttered, Jake increased his tempo. He

was quivering all over. Sweat was dripping down on Kevin’s body.

“Oh, fuck, yeah, yeah fuck, fuck,” Jake said.
Just like in the clips, Kevin thought. It’s just like in the clips.
“Oh, God, shit, Kev. I’m gonna shoot,” Jake groaned, thrust

forward and then shuddered. Four times he repeated this action.

Kevin clung to him, reveling in the experience of being

fucked for love.

Jake slowed then stopped. He lay down on Kevin,

supporting much of his weight with his elbows and knees, but
letting his sweaty chest and domed abdomen come in contact
with Kevin’s.

Jake leaned in and kissed him. “Thank you, Kev.”
Kevin was thrilled. “You’re welcome. Oh, so welcome.”
“Now for you.” Jake slid down, placing his knees on the

floor. He bent over Kevin, grabbing his buns with both hands,
sliding him down to the edge of the bed, taking Kevin’s hard cock
in his mouth. With devastating expertise, he stroked the swollen
phallus with his lips, tongue and teeth, alternating deep-throating
with tender licking of the sensitive groove behind the head. Kevin
grabbed both sides of Jake’s head, feeling the stubble of a day’s
growth of hair. As Jake would descend, Kevin would arch
upward and pull, pressing Jake’s face into the copious pubic hair
at the base of his penis.

Kevin’s legs started to quiver. He had the sensation of

butterflies in his stomach. “Oh, Jake, Jake.” He arched again and
shot his cum into Jake’s waiting mouth.

When Kevin finished filling Jake’s mouth with his semen,

Jake swallow it all and mumbled, “Oh, sweet nectar.”

When Kevin was spent, Jake bear-crawled up beside him,

cradled him in his arms, kissed his lips, cheeks, chin and
forehead. Kevin wrapped his arms around his lover. Complete
for the first time he could remember, Kevin relaxed. A deep sigh
of contentment escaped his lips.

They dozed.

* * * *

Kevin opened his eyes. At first disoriented, he then

remembered where he was and what had transpired. He looked
up into Jake’s smiling face.

“You awake, sleeping handsome?” Jake pulled Kevin closer.
“Yeah. What time is it?”
“About eight-thirty. Why, you ain’t gonna kiss and run are

you?” Jake meant it as a joke, but Kevin could tell there was a
hint of concern in his voice.

“No, I ain’t gonna kiss and run. Well, maybe I am gonna

kiss a bit.” And he did. But, during the kiss the thought struck
him, Is Jake expecting me to stay the night?

Jake was talking. “Man, this is so perfect. You’re the right

age, the perfect body, and we got so many important things in
common.”

Kevin pondered that for a moment. What did they have in

common? They were both gay. They liked to work out. They
loved sex. But beyond that…

“Yeah, we sure do, Kevin responded, not wanting to upset

the moment.

Jake was continuing. “I know I kinda pushed you into

saying that you loved me. I mean we just met, but, I been looking
for you for so long.”

Kevin smiled. He had been waiting to fall in love with

someone for as long as he could remember. “You didn’t push
me. I need you to love me, too. You will never know how much.”

Jake leaned in and kissed him. “How’s about a shower

and then we get something to eat? It’s Thursday. There’s a
college game on. We could have us a couple of beers and watch

the game for awhile. Maybe get a little drunk and have some
more fun.” Jake rolled over, encircled Kevin with his huge arms
and nuzzled his head into Kevin’s neck.

Oh, my God. Can this be real? We do have some things

in common. Out loud, he said, “Sounds like a plan to me.” To
himself he added, What the fuck can I tell Gloria to get to spend
the night?

“All righty then.” Jake got up and out of bed.
Kevin swung his legs out of his side of the bed and sat on

the side. His eye caught something on the nightstand: the
condom, unopened. He picked it up. Turning to Jake, he asked,
“Didn’t you use this?”

Jake stretched and yawned while he said, “Nope. Since you

said you were positive, I figured we didn’t need it, since I am too.”

“You’re, what, too?” asked Kevin, standing in alarm,

shaking the condom at Jake.

Jake looked confused. “HIV positive. Isn’t that what you

meant when you replied to me when I asked you if you were
positive?”

“Fuck no! I meant I was positive you should fuck me. Holy

Shit, Holy Shit!”

In that moment of passionate ecstasy, it hadn't occurred

to Kevin positive could mean anything but the assent of two
souls to unite.

“You’re not pos? You’re negative?”
“Hell no! I’m not positive, I’m…or was, negative.”
“Oh, man, I'm sorry. Oh, God. Kevin…”
“Shit, what am I gonna do?” Kevin was pacing in circles

around the bedroom, rubbing his hands together, his still semi-
hard cock thrashing from side-to-side like the tail of a caged lion.

Jake ran his hand over his smooth head. “First, we’re

gonna get you into the bathroom and get you cleaned out as
much as we can. Then…well…come into the john.”

Kevin followed Jake into the bathroom. He felt numb.

There he bent over the sink, while Jake administered a
disinfectant enema, explaining even when he used a rubber, this
was a good thing to do.

Kevin sat on the stool, humiliated to be crapping his guts

out in front of the man who, until fifteen minutes before, was his
dream come true. Well, he thought, if I do get HIV then Gloria will
divorce me and I can move in here…What the hell am I thinking!
he screamed in his mind.

“You clean?” Jake asked in a tender, loving tone.
“Yeah, I think so. I gotta get outta here. My wife’s gonna

be home soon—”

“Your wife!”
Kevin looked up into an anguished face. He could see

hurt and betrayal etched there. He felt deep remorse for the lies
he had told or let be assumed. But at the same time he felt some
revenge for not being given the chance to decide if he could
handle an HIV relationship.

Jake stormed out of the room. Kevin could here him

banging around somewhere in the house. He sat for a minute
more, cleaned himself, then got up and went into the empty
bedroom. Jake’s clothes were still on the floor. Kevin dressed
and went out into the living room.

Jake had a beer in his hand and was standing in a pair of

sweats, staring at a blank TV screen. He was bare-chested. Even
in his agitated state, Kevin appreciated the beauty of the man.

“Well, I guess we both screwed up, didn’t we?” Jake said.

There was sadness in his voice, but not anger. He turned to Kevin.

“What do I do now?”
“I’ll give you the name of my counselor. Call her in the

morning. She’ll tell you what to expect and when to get tested.”

Kevin shivered as Jake walked out of the room. He

couldn’t focus. His world had come together and then was torn
apart in a single evening. It was as much his fault as Jake’s. No,
more his fault. Jake had asked. He just assumed Kevin had
brains. Kevin had deceived.

“Fuck!”
Jake returned. He had dressed. He handed Kevin the

card. “Her name’s Cheryl. It’s all confidential. You can use a fake
name. Or is Kevin Baker your fake name?”

Although he didn’t say it in an accusatory way, hearing

Jake say it, still hurt.

“No, I am Kevin Baker.”
“Well, thanks for that. Come on, let me take you to the gym.”
Kevin couldn’t stand the thought of having close contact

with Jake and never be able to hold him again. He almost felt like
he was going to cry.

“No, I’ll take a cab.”
Jake didn't protest.
Kevin punched the speed dial on his cell. “Yeah, I need a

cab at…”

“716 Emerald Way.”
Kevin repeated the address to the cab operator.
“Barry’s Body Works, in Goodwin Plaza. Yeah, ten

minutes. Fine.”

They sat at opposite ends of the couch, waiting for the

beep of the taxi.

Jake turned to Kevin. “This sucks.”
“Sure does.”
“I can’t say how sorry I am, man. I shoulda told you I was

poz before.”

“I know. I’m sorrier. I shouldn’ta let you think I was sing…
The cab beeped. They rose and walked to the door. As

Kevin was reaching for the knob, Jake grabbed him, spun him
around and hugged him. At first Kevin pushed him away, but
Jake didn’t relent. Kevin relaxed into the embrace.

“Kevin, I do love you…I'm sorry…I—”
“I know, Jake, I love you, too. I gotta go. Bye.”
Kevin turned, but before Jake’s face left his field of vision,

he saw tears on the big man’s cheeks.

* * * *

“In answer to your questions, Mr. Canfield…”
It was two days after Kevin’s encounter with Jake. Kevin

had called the counselor Jake had told him about. He'd spilled
his guts to her, telling her he was married, gay and had had
unprotected sex with a man who was HIV positive. Although he

hated to do it, he found it felt good to tell someone about his
situation. Sitting there in her office, despite the circumstances,
Kevin felt freer than at almost any time in his life.

The counselor was continuing. “…If you have the virus, it

won’t be detectable for six weeks. Even if you are negative at
that time, you will still need to be tested every three months for
the first year. Then we can be almost certain you are safe.
However, you should understand in some cases the virus may
not show up for five or more years. However, since you only had
one encounter and took the necessary actions following, I would
say you can be reasonably confident you will be all right.”

“In the meantime?” Kevin asked.
“In the meantime use protection. Continue to exercise, get

proper nutrition, rest. All the things you would do if you were just
trying to stay healthy.”

“So, it's only contracted through intercourse?”
“We know it's contracted through both vaginal and anal

intercourse. There is some evidence that it could be passed
orally either through sexual contact or kissing, but there are no
confirmed cases of oral transmission to date.”

“And the test?”
“Very simple: a swab of saliva or a drop of blood.”
Kevin nodded.
“And remember, after the test we prefer that you come in

to get the results. Even in the case of a non-reactive result,
which means you are negative, we like to be available for
support if needed. Keep in mind HIV is no longer a death
sentence. Improved medications and health management have
shown that in a majority of cases you can expect to live a normal
life. But we want to make sure you have emotional support in
either case.”

“Thanks, Cheryl. I guess I’ll see you in six weeks.”
Cheryl rose, shook hands with Kevin and showed him to

the door. Even though those in the waiting room were there for
the same reason as he was, Kevin felt conspicuous and
inspected as he left.

As Kevin drove home from the appointment with the

counselor, he was astounded at the changes that had been
wrought in his life during the previous forty-eight hours. He'd
fallen in love with the man of his dreams and had the very pillars
of his life ripped out from under him, all in the same evening.

He pulled into his drive. Now, the next big hurdle: Gloria.

He'd stayed home from work on Friday feigning a cold. He told
Gloria he had a doctor’s appointment and now he had to decide
what he was going to tell her. There was no getting around it.
She would be expecting sex, even though such requests were
becoming more infrequent as they grew older. How was he
going to explain why he had to use a condom when they had
intercourse? Should he come clean and admit to her he was
gay? Did he have a choice? What would hurt the least: a
heterosexual affair through which he might have contracted HIV,
or a gay one?

He sat in the car for a long time, just thinking. He thought

of Jake: big, burly, handsome Jake. Just two days earlier he had
fulfilled all of Kevin’s fantasies. Kevin had missed out on so
much as a married gay man! His secret afternoons in cheap
motels hadn't made him feel as good as this one night with Jake.
He thought of Gloria: childhood sweetheart, only girl he ever
dated, faithful wife of thirty-one years, mother of his children,
dependent on him for what retirement had to offer. He thought
about his kids: Michelle and Richard. How would they react to
this situation? In the end, taking a deep breath, with a plan
formulating in his mind, he got out of the car and walked toward
the front door.

* * * *

“Mr. Baker?”
“Yes, Marianne?” Kevin answered his secretary on speaker.
“There’s a gentleman here. He says he would like to

speak with you.”

“I don’t have an appointment on my calendar. Should I

have?”

“No, sir, he says he knows you're not expecting him, but

it's important that he see you.”

“Does the gentleman have a name?”
Marianne’s muffled voice could be heard asking the visitor

for a name. A deep voice was heard in the background, but
Kevin couldn’t understand the response.

“It’s Mr. Jacobson.”
“Jacobson? All Right, send him in.”
Kevin closed the folder of the loan application he was

processing, reading one last line as he heard the door open and
close. He looked up to see a mountain of a man standing in front
of his desk. His mouth dropped open.

“Jake!”
Jake was dressed in a gray business suit and tie. He had

shaved off his Van Dyke and taken the hoops out of his ears. He
looked masculine, handsome, desirable.

“Yeah, it’s me. Figured I needed a fake name to get you to

see me,” he gave Kevin a weak smile.

Kevin stood on trembling legs. He'd fantasized about this

moment dozens of times in the past two months. In his fantasies he
had leaped over the desk and thrown himself into his former lover’s
arms, covering his face with frantic kisses. Now in the reality of the
situation, he just raised his hand and offered him a chair.

The two men sat for several seconds without talking,

staring into each other’s eyes, trying to read in them what each
was hoping to see there. Kevin could see that Jake had gone to
some lengths to make sure he presented himself as straight at
Kevin’s place of business. He felt a surge of affection for the big
man for his thoughtfulness.

“How are you?” “How ya been doing?” they both said at

the same time.

They laughed.
“You first,” offered Kevin.
“I just came to find out how ya were doin’. Denny says you

haven’t been to the gym in awhile.”

“No, I changed gyms.”
Jake sat with lips pursed, nodding. Kevin knew Jake

realized why he'd done that. Kevin couldn't stand the thought of

being in the place where it had all begun, where he would see
Jake and relive the hurt.

“Ya like the new place?”
Kevin nodded, “Yeah, its okay. Not as well equipped as

Barry’s, but it works for what I need.”

They sat in silence again.
“So, you’re okay?” Jake asked. Kevin knew Jake needed

to know if he'd been tested, if he was infected or not.

Kevin folded his hands on his desk. “Yes, I’m okay.”
“Well, that’s good, then.” Jake sounded relieved.
More silence.
“Well, that’s what I came to find out. I…uh…guess I better

be goin’ then?”

There was a question in the statement. Kevin wanted with

all his heart to answer it with ‘No, stay!’ But, instead he said,
“Well, thanks for coming by.”

“Yeah, ah…you’re welcome.” Jake stood, looking like he

wanted to say something. Kevin leaned forward a little, waiting,
hoping.

“Bye.”
“Bye,” Kevin said, gritting his teeth, swallowing hard.
Jake turned to the door, hand on the knob.
“Jake, wait!”
Kevin was up, around the desk and in Jake’s arms in a

flash. Jake enfolded him; bending to kiss the top of his head.

“Kev, God, Kev. I missed you, I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”
Jake tipped Kevin’s face up to his. Kevin knew he wanted

to kiss him.

“No. Not here. Not now. Not until we talk.” Kevin pulled

out of Jake’s arms. “Its almost lunchtime. I have an appointment
here at 11:30. Meet me for lunch at Angelo’s on Catherine at one
o’clock. Can you do that?” He searched Jake’s eyes.

“I’ll be there.”
Kevin let Jake hug him once more. Then Jake turned and

left.

Kevin stood for several seconds, breathing hard. He knew

he had to stick to his plan; he couldn’t let his needs and

emotions dictate his decisions. Kevin had to do what was right. If
his future was going to be something he could live with, he had
to stay the course.

His 11:30 meeting went well. In fact it was over earlier

than anticipated. Kevin was surprised he had been able to
concentrate on the needs and questions of his clients, with his
impending meeting with Jake moving closer by the minute.

He left the office, telling Marianne he wouldn't be back

until late and to leave any matters that needed his attention on
his desk. He would see her in the morning.

Driving to the restaurant, he rehearsed what he was going

to say to Jake. He had to stick to the plan. He hoped Jake would
understand.

Angelo’s was an upscale establishment, catering to the

lunchtime crowd generated by the many businesses in the area.
Pulling into the parking lot; he looked for Jake’s motorcycle, but
didn’t see it. Checking his watch; he saw he was ten minutes
early. He told the hostess, who greeted him by name, he needed
a private table and he was expecting a guest. He said she would
recognize him and described Jake, feeling himself respond to his
memories of the man as he spoke. She led him to a booth in the
rear of the main dining room. Since the regular lunch hour was
almost over, it would afford Kevin the privacy he needed. He
ordered a Manhattan and waited.

At 12:58, Kevin looked up to see Jake being led to his

table by the hostess, whose radiant smile confirmed she
appreciated Jake’s assets as much as he did. Kevin stood as
they approached.

“Thank you, Rose,” Kevin said, smiling at Jake.
“Oh, no problem, no problem at all, Mr. Baker,” Rose

replied and left with a backward look over her shoulder.

Yeah, he has a fantastic butt, Rose, I agree. Kevin mused

to himself. “You want a drink?” he asked.

“Beer is fine.”
The beer was ordered along with a second Manhattan for

Kevin from the server who dropped off their menus.

Jake looked across the table at him. Kevin could see Jake

was anxious to hear what he had to say. Hope and fear were in
his eyes.

“So, your test came out all right?”
“Yes it did.”
“I’m glad. Shit. I felt so bad about what happened. I

shoulda told you…let you know…” Jake was rambling. His
anxiety, pent up since that night, was spilling over.

“Jake, stop. Listen.”
Jake took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
Jake’s beer was delivered and their lunch orders placed.
Kevin sipped his drink. “I have a lot to tell you. Some you

may be okay with. Some of it you may not like. All I ask right now
is that you listen and try to understand.”

“Deal,” Jake said with a smile: not a confident one, but a

smile.

“First, I did go see Cheryl as you suggested. I took the

test two weeks ago and I’m negative.”

“That’s great.” Jake reached over and squeezed Kevin’s

hand, letting out a deep sigh.

Kevin took one more sip of his drink, replaying the

moment he was about to reveal.

“After that first time I went to see Cheryl, I told Gloria I

was gay.”

Jake looked shocked. “And?”
“Well, first she cried. Asked me what she had done wrong,

how she had failed me. You know, like she felt it was her fault I
was gay. I told her that she hadn’t done anything wrong, that she
had been a good wife. I was gay, always had been, and had
known it all my life. That it had nothing to do with her. Then she
got mad. Told me I should have told her, that I had lived a lie all
our married life. When she got done ranting, she cried again.”

“That musta been hard,” Jake offered.
“Gets worse,” Kevin gave a mirthless laugh.
Jake leaned forward in his seat.
Kevin continued. “She cried for about a half hour. I didn’t

know what to do: whether to comfort her, or just let her cry it out.
After a while I got up and sat next to her on the couch. I put my

hand on her back and she pulled away.”

“Ouch!”
“Yeah, I was hurting for her. I knew it was tearing her

apart. Then all of a sudden she stopped crying, got up and stood
in front of me.”

At that point, their salads arrived. The men unfolded

napkins and began to eat. For a time, as if by silent, mutual
agreement, the conversation turned to more mundane subjects.
Kevin was glad for the interruption. It gave him time to think
about what he was going to say.

While they ate their entrées, they talked about Kevin’s

new gym, Jake’s new suit, football and the weather. Just two
businessmen having lunch together: no one in the restaurant
would suspect what had transpired between them, what was
coming next.

After the server cleared the dinnerware and brought

coffee, Jake initiated the return of the conversation to the reason
for their meeting. “So, you were saying Gloria stopped crying,
was standing in front of you.”

“Yeah.” Kevin stirred artificial sweetener into his cup. “She

was very quiet. I thought she looked like a time bomb or a
volcano just before it blows. ‘Why are you telling me this now?’
she asked. ‘Why after all these years?’ Her voice was cold, like
steel, you know.”

Jake nodded, leaning into the conversation again.
“I told her about us.”
Jake sat up to his full height: a look of surprise on his face.
“I told her about us,” Kevin repeated in a softer tone. “I

told her that you were HIV positive and that we didn’t use
protection and I might be at risk.”

Jake closed his eyes and slumped forward, shaking his

head.

Kevin took a drink of his coffee. “She pretty much flipped

out at that point. She stormed around the room, throwing
accusations at me about adultery, fornication, vows and
commitment. She also started throwing stuff at me,” Kevin
almost laughed. “Hit me with a couple of books and knick-

knacks. Had a couple of good lumps and bruises.” He chuckled.

“Oh, man, I’m so sorry,” Jake said again.
“S’okay,” said Kevin.
“No, its not, I never meant to cause all this trouble for you.

You gotta know that. Jake made to reach out and take Kevin’s
hand in his again.

Kevin held up his hand to stop him. “I know. Let me finish.”
Jake pulled his hand back.
“After she pretty much tore up the living room, she ran up

to our bedroom. I sat there for about twenty minutes, not sure
what to do, when she came back with my suitcase. She walked
to the door and said, ‘Get out of my house. I want a divorce.’”

“Oh, my God! What did you do?”
“I got up, took the suitcase and went to a motel.”
Jake’s mouth dropped open. “Wow!”
Kevin took another sip of his coffee and saw a look of

mixed sorrow and hope cross Jake’s face.

“So, you been stayin’ in a motel all this time?” Jake’s

voice had more than one question in it.

Kevin knew what that other question was. He wasn’t quite

ready to answer it, yet. “No.”

“Where you been staying then?”
“I’m coming to that. I gave Gloria until Sunday night to

cool down and think things through. Then I went home. When I
got there, two of her friends were there with her.”

“Shit!”
“Yeah, pretty much. They both started in on me. ”What

was I doing here? How did I have the nerve?’ All that sort of
crap. I had to keep control. One of their husbands has an ad on
one of the personal sites, with a picture no less. I didn’t want to
be the one to let her know she was in the same boat as Gloria.”
Kevin allowed himself a chuckle.

“What did you do?”
“I told them I had things to discuss with my wife that didn't

concern them and threw them out. That wasn't a pretty scene,
either, with all three of them yelling at me and threatening me
with arrest. I hadn’t been physical, so the arrest threat didn’t

worry me.”

Kevin signaled the server for another round of coffee. By

this time the restaurant was almost empty as lunch was over and
dinner was a few hours off.

The two men sat in silence for a time. Kevin could only

guess what was going through Jake’s mind. He watched the big
man as he cradled the cup of coffee in his strong, but gentle
hands, staring down into its dark contents.

At length, Jake raised his head. “What did you discuss

with Gloria? If you want to tell me, that is?”

“I do.” Kevin knew Jake was anxious to find out where

things might stand between them. “After Gloria’s ‘support group’
left and we went through her tirade of why I had no right to order
her friends around, I told her to keep quiet, sit down and listen.
She did. I told her I wanted to talk about our situation, hers in
particular, and this divorce business.”

Jake sat up and looked into Kevin’s face. Once more

hope and fear reflected in Jake’s steel blue eyes.

“I reminded her that the house was in my name: that I had

no intention of moving out.”

Jake reacted to this with a slight slump of his shoulders.
“She said that was fine, she would move out then. I told

her to get real. She hadn't worked in years, and had no means of
support. She said she would live with her friends. I didn’t bother
to respond to that, she was just blowing smoke.”

There was another pause as a group of women were led

to a booth behind them. They smiled at the men and after
passing, Kevin heard one whisper, “Did you see that hunk?”

Kevin smiled at the comment and continued, “I told her we

had plenty of room in the house and we could live together while
we worked this out. We’d lived together for over thirty years and
there was no reason to make major changes now.”

“So, you’re going through with the divorce, then?” Jake

sounded hopeful.

“No.”
“No?”
“I can’t do that to her. If I divorce Gloria, she would be left

without any support for retirement. Everything is in my name and
even if she sues, the way things are set up, she would still be
dependent on me. It'll be easier on her if we stay married. In
order for her to share in my retirement benefits, health care and
long-term care, she has to be married to me.”

“You’re going to stay together.” Jake took a deep breath

and let it out slowly. Kevin knew he was trying to accept what he
hoped he wouldn’t have to.

“I don’t have any reason to hurt her. It’s not her fault I’m

gay. Not her fault that I hid it from her all this time. Just like it
wasn’t your fault I hid my marriage from you. I have to take
responsibility for those decisions.”

Kevin paused and took a breath. He had mixed feelings of

pride at his insights, and guilt at his actions.

“So,” he continued, “we’ll stay together, married in name.

We will live in the house and things will go on pretty much as
they have. The difference is, I won’t be hiding who I am.”

“What about…” Jake hesitated. “Us?”
Kevin smiled. This time he reached out and took Jake’s

hand, squeezing it. “I’m coming to that.”

Jake returned the pressure.
“I told Gloria, under the new rules we both would be free to

date. If she found someone, someone who could support her, then
we could revisit the divorce thing. I said I would be dating as well.”

“Dating?”
“Yeah. I know this hunky guy. We’ve only had one date.

That went pretty well, except for one little glitch.” Kevin winked
and Jake smiled. “You never know what might develop once we
take the time to get to know one another.”

Jake reached out and took both Kevin’s hands in his.
“God, that makes me feel…feel…God!”
“Well, I hope it makes you feel good.”
“Good…it makes me feel like shouting and singing

and…well, we need to get outta here to do that.” Jake smiled.

The two men got up to go. Kevin left the money for the

meal on the table. The ladies that had passed by their booth
looked once more at Jake. Kevin then did something he would

never have done two months earlier. He put his arm around
Jake’s broad shoulders and said, “Sorry, girls, he's taken.”

Jake laughed.
Walking out of the restaurant into the afternoon sun, Kevin

looked up into Jake’s smiling face.

“You understand, I need to take this slow. We need to make

sure…at least I need to make sure. This is a big step for me.”

“It’s big for me, too,” replied Jake.
Without another word, the two men walked hand-in-hand

to Jake’s motorcycle. As Jake took his helmet out of the right
pannier bag, Kevin took the extra helmet from the left, put it on
and mounted the pillion seat. If I’m gonna be riding around like
this very much, I really am gonna need chaps and a leather
jacket, Kevin thought with a smile.

“Let’s go, Mr. Whittiker. We can come back for my car…

tomorrow.”

The machine roared to life, and with ties flying, Kevin and

Jake drove off to explore their futures.

THE END

ABOUT TERRY O’REILLY

Terry O’Reilly is a retired school teacher living a quiet life

in the Midwest with his three dogs and his horse. He began
writing several years ago at the urging of a friend and fellow
author. He has books available through several publishers,
including Amber Allure Press, Aspen Mountain Press, eXcessica
Publishing, and JMS Books LLC. Writing has become an
important part of his life, allowing him to explore his own
thoughts, needs, and feelings, as well as learn about other
cultures and eras as he researches his stories.

ABOUT JMS BOOKS LLC

Founded in 2010, JMS Books LLC is owned and operated

by author J.M. Snyder. We publish a variety of genres, including
gay erotic romance, fantasy, young adult, poetry, and nonfiction.
Short stories and novellas are available as e-books and
compiled into single-author print anthologies, while any story
over 30k in length is available in both print and e-book formats.
Visit us at

jms-books.com

for our latest releases and submission

guidelines!

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