Uncle Ed Lap

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Uncle Ed’s Lap
By Parker Ford
When Aunt Carole died, we were all shocked. Only in her mid-forties, it was a hell of a
time to lose her. It was a hard pill to swallow that a
small hole in her heart, undetected all those years, could fell such a beautiful, lively,
passionate woman. But it did. Which served as a great lesson to
me. One I knew she'd want me to learn well. Live life while you can, grab it by the balls,
ride it hard and put it away wet. All the things a young
woman starting her freshman year in college should know. Life's a bitch and then you
die.
So I volunteered to spend my month before going to the university helping Uncle Ed get
everything in order. It was the least I could do
considering all they'd done for me over the years. What can I say, I'm a saint.
* * * *
"Where do you want me to put these?" I asked, keeping my voice soft. I didn't want to
poke a fresh wound but Uncle Ed had asked me to fold
up Aunt Carole's clothes for donation. I was also instructed to keep any that might suit
me. So far, I had kept a black pencil skirt, a gray cashmere
sweater, and a few pieces of lingerie.
"After you bag them, set them in the corner. Thomasina Daniels is doing a run up to the
church thrift shop. She said she won't mind swinging
in."
I watched him run a hand through his thick, dark hair. He was sporting a bit too much
stubble for a business man but just enough for a
construction supervisor. Which he was. His hands, dark brown from the sun, looked
almost gold against the black of his hair. He'd always been a
handsome man, he was getting better with age. I looked down at the red sweater I held.
I should stop thinking how cute my uncle is probably.
"That was her favorite sweater," he said, smiling. "She called it her tart sweater but I
always loved it. Loved to take it off, in fact." His face
colored and he cleared his throat. "Sorry, Fiona, that was probably inappropriate."
"Oh, I've heard worse, Uncle Ed. I'm going into my freshman year of college, you know.
These are no longer virginal ears." Then I flushed
because I had meant my ears not my other parts. But I wasn't a virgin, for the record.
He snorted, eyes shining with laughter. "You should keep that. It suits your skin tone.
Once in a great while I catch you out of the corner of my
eye and you look so much like here, Fi. I think it's her. But then I turn and it's you."
My heart broke a little for him then. "It's those Jones genes. We all have the crazy dirty
blonde hair and the—"
"Beautiful blue eyes." He smiled.
"Thanks." I folded the sweater, dropped it in the pile.
"You don't want it?"
"I don't look so good in red." Plus I feel like I'm poaching from a dead woman
Uncle Ed turned me to the long mirror on the closet door. He draped the red sweater
over me and I held it up. His big hands smoothed down
the front and I tried so hard to ignore the silken slip of his fingers over my curves. You
should not covet your uncle. Even if he isn't truly blood. You
should not have dreams about him and wake up half way to orgasm. You should

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certainly not then finish yourself off with trembling slippery fingers in
the room next door to his. On the other side of paper thin walls. These were all the
things you should not do. And all the things I was doing.
"I like it." His breath drifted across my face as he spoke, looking over the top of my head
at us in the mirror. There we were reflected, me
looking so small in front of him as his hands held the sweater from behind. I am a tall
woman, he made me feel down right elfin. "I think you should
keep it. Come on, where's your secret pile? She had beautiful taste in clothes. There
have to be a few you're keeping."
I pointed to the far side of the bed, blushing. The doorbell rang and he touched my arm.
"Be right back. Thanks for this, Fiona. You've always
been special to me. Now I know why. You're priceless."
For such a big man he moved with ease. I watched him go, fighting the urge to lock
myself in the bathroom and masturbate. I'd always had a
little girl crush on him. I had always told my mother he was the 'handsomest man in the
world' and she would laugh. She'd laugh harder when I
proclaimed I'd marry him one day. Kids say that stuff. But here I was crushing hard on
him, not getting sleep, daydreaming about things that were
wrong, wrong, wrong.
"Fiona, look at you!" Thomasina Daniels screeched and I dropped the long blue sweater
coat I was folding. I retrieved it, hands shaking.
"Hi, Mrs. Daniels. Good to see you," I said. Uncle Ed walked in behind her, beaming at
me. He winked because everyone knew how damn
loud that woman is.
"My, my, my. Not a little girl at all, are you? Now you're all grown up." She turned to
Uncle Ed and elbowed him and he winced. "Edward, I
have to say, she's a woman now! Our little Fiona is a woman. With boobs and
everything!"
Uncle Ed started coughing and I let out a little cry of disbelief. Oh shit, had she actually
said that aloud? She had. Of course she had. We
didn't call her the magpie for nothing. "Um...thank you?"
Uncle Ed turned, shoulders heaving. He was laughing. Damn him. I held out a bag. "Let
me help you get these to the car." Anything to get her
out of here. "There's some more stuff, but I can run them up one day myself."
"I can wait if you need," Mrs. Daniels said, looking hopeful.
"No. No need for that. I think I'm done for the day." I rolled my eyes behind her back as I
followed her out. Uncle Ed was still laughing,
standing in the doorway, taking up all the space. As I passed him, he tried to move out
of my way. It ended with a mortifying bump and grind with
me, him and a big green trash bag. "Sorry, sorry!" I squeaked, forcing past finally.
I heard him go and gather the last of the bags while I hurried out, panting and tingling.
Was I losing my mind? What did they call it?
Projecting? I had either lost it completely or my uncle’s cock had been hard.
For me.
* * * *
I'd been here for two weeks now and I felt pretty much at home. As a kid I had always
come on summer break to stay for a few weeks.
Taking the train the three hour trip from my home further south. It had been so much
fun, the adventure of the train, being spoiled by Aunt Carole and
Uncle Ed. They had no children of their own so they spoiled me rotten¾zoo trips, the

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pool, movies, dinners out. It was always the highlight of my
time off from school.
Back in their large Connecticut home, I felt safe and secure and loved. I brushed my
teeth, trying to remember all the things I needed to get
for college. If I thought about starting classes and dorm life too much I got so nervous I
couldn't sleep, so I pushed the thoughts away. It was just
nerves and nerves were normal.
I shut the light off and the tiny nightlight sprang to life. I smoothed my nightgown down,
heart pounding. I refused to think about what had
happened earlier. I had a lot in my head, surely it had been my imagination.
I tried to tiptoe on the hardwood floor. The house was so quiet and it was so late, I could
only assume I was the only one up. And uncle Ed
had to get up early for work. Construction crews were like roosters he'd say, greeting
the day before the sun did.
As usual, the floor squeaked as I passed the master suite. I froze, not wanting to wake
him. He'd been sleeping poorly since aunt Carole
died, the least I could do was be quiet. I stayed that way, waiting to make sure I hadn't
disturbed him. I heard a soft whispery sound and breathing.
Not mine. My heart pounded in my ears and I knew I should keep going. I shouldn't be a
nosy parker as my mother said, but I waited anyway. The
sound increased as did the breathing. I peeked around the edge of the door and my
eyes fought to focus in the dark.
"Oh," my uncle said. So soft that no one should be able to hear. No one expect the
person spying from the doorway. "Oh, god."
He was jacking off. I bit my lip, I should look away. I didn't. Instead, I steadied myself
with a hand on the door jam. This was normal, I told
myself. A man had needs. A man who has just lost his wife is still a man. My hand,
seemingly possessed, crept up under my nightgown. I felt the
warm fluid already sliding from me. The tops of my thighs trembled like I had a fever. I
touched my clit with shaking fingers as I watched him.
He nearly looked to be wrestling with himself. Like he didn't want to do this but had to.
The moonlight leaking in the old glazed window panes
illuminated him in milky shadows. His big hand slid up and down the length of his cock,
his face set, eyes closed tightly. His hips pistoned up and
down as he fucked the hole made by his own fist. The white linen sheets nearly glowed
in the moonlight.
Oh god¾I should go¾I should. Instead I slipped my fingers into my pussy and pressed
and pressed and touched until my womb felt tingly
and my knees felt weak. Then I spread my wetness around my clit, running hard fast
circles with my middle finger. I clutched the door jam and tried
not to breathe at all so he wouldn’t hear me.
His movements grew faster, his head tossed one way and then the other. I would have
paid a million dollars to know what movie was playing
in his head at that moment. My aunt? A playboy bunny? The girl at the hot dog stand
who never wore panties? God, dare I hope it? Me?
I worked myself faster, holding my breath as my uncle sighed. "Oh, fuck." I saw the
shadowed arc of come shoot across his knuckles,
watched his lean hips fucking upward off the bed, heard him breathe, "Oh, god, Fiona."
And then I gasped and he looked my way.
* * * *

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I half expected him to come after me and I waited, heart pounding, pussy thumping, for
a knock at the door. It didn't come. After a few
moments with no relief, I hiked my nightgown up and touched myself. I rubbed circles
on my swollen eager clit until I couldn't stand it and used a
small bottle of lotion in a cylindrical bottle as a dildo. I hadn't brought a vibrator with me
to uncle Ed's it had just seemed weird. My legs pushed
wide, hips thrusting up, I fucked myself while rubbing my clit so hard I feared permanent
damage.
My head was full of him. The cut of his jaw, his dark, dark hair. His strong hands and
muscular forearms and the tan he had year round from
being outside. His big blue eyes on me, thinking about fucking me, calling out my name
when he came.
I came then, a warm rush of pleasure and then I was coming again. Blissfully long
spasms as my cunny milked the lotion bottle and I shivered
under the thin cotton sheet. I heard a noise and froze. Nothing then. Just my heart
beating like a celebration drum and the secretive whispers of my
skin on the sheet. But I had to wonder as I turned over to sleep, had he just heard me,
too?
When I woke up there were bagels on the counter and coffee in the pot. Uncle Ed was
gone. I looked but there was no note. I could only hope
that he didn’t feel weird about last night, but I knew damn well he did because how
could you not? I had felt weird about my attraction to him and my
secret fantasies. The dreams that woke me up with sweat on my upper lip and a burning
heat that needed to be quelled between my thighs. I knew
how that felt, so I closed my eyes and tried to think of him happy and not upset.
Fantasies were just fantasies. You didn’t have to act on them. Right?
I busied myself cleaning the kitchen. Bachelors suck at cleaning. So do young coeds
but hey, I was bored and my mother Marie had taught
me well. Cleanliness was next to godliness, plus if you threw yourself into it, it could
make the afternoon fly in an blink. I ate cucumbers from the
garden with homemade ranch sauce uncle had made the night before for dinner. That
was all I really had the stomach for. I poured a big glass of
lemonade and downed it in four long swallows. Then I started rearranging the cabinets
and wiping down the liners. The worst chore I could imagine
from my growing up years. Now it seemed to soothe me.
"Wow. I had no idea I would come home to such a tight ship," he said from the doorway.
I jumped, a china plate shattering at my feet. A
thousand tiny jagged teeth of china scattered around me on the red tile floor. Barefoot
and in turquoise shorts instead of jeans, I was pretty much
fucked. "Shit, I’m sorry, Fiona." He colored when he said my name aloud and my cunt
responded with tightening warmth. "You're bleeding."
I looked at my calf where a thick nearly black rivulet of blood trickled slowly down my
leg. "It's no big deal. Just as shard. But I am kind
of...stuck." I shrugged, feeling horribly stupid. "I'm so sorry. I can go on ebay and try to
replace it. I'm such a klutz!" I felt like I might start sobbing right
then from frustration.
"Hey, I scared you. Don't talk about ebay or any of that. Stay there. I'm gonna grab you
and take you in the dining room, then I'll clean up this
mess."
His work boots crunched over the china shards as he picked me up and carried me out.

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He set me on the table and put my foot on one of the
ladder back chairs. "Let me get the bandages."
I nodded, suddenly feeling little and helpless again. Letting him care for me the way he
had when I was a little girl and I'd skin my knee. He
caught that far away look when he came in. "You okay? You’re not cut anywhere else
are you?"
I looked. "Nope. Just there. Not too shabby considering the immense mess I made."
"We made," he amended. "You never would have dropped it if I hadn't startled you." He
wiped the cut with a wet cotton ball. Wet with alcohol
it seemed because fire bloomed in the cut and I hissed. "Easy, be good," he said,
smiling. He blew on the cut to cool the sting. Just like old times.
Only now, the feel of him blowing on my skin made my pussy keep a wet tempo with my
heartbeat.
"Ugh," I said.
"Sorry it stings. It will be over in a minute. Promise."
I could only nod.
He squeezed a gem sized squirt of antibiotic lotion on and covered it with a big square
bandages. "To keep it all covered," he said. His
fingers smoothing the flesh colored cloth covering made me shift on the table. I felt
trapped by his presence, the very hugeness of him and my pulse
jumped at my throat from a mix of excitement and fear. So close like this I could picture
him beating off to me. As close as we were, I could picture
his hands pushing my legs apart. I could imagine a million scenarios I shouldn't.
"Thanks," I managed.
"You sure you're okay?" He turned my chin so I had to look at him. I nodded and
swallowed hard.
"Yeah," I said, thinking inside, God, just kiss me, kiss me already, kiss me and then touch
me and we'll pretend it never ever happened, I
swear...
It took a second for it to register his hands on my thighs, his long finger splayed out so
they pointed like traitors to my pussy. Uncle Ed leaned

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