Bad News Bella by 107yearoldvirgin

Her glass is half empty. His is half full. Together they may just cause an overabundance of…liquids.
Seattle's #1 anchor and her new cameraman may be perfect for each other; if only the truth could

be caught on film. ExB – AH - M

Preface: Bad News Bella

BPOV

"We regret to report that the shit was lost at sea."

I stopped, my eyes growing wide as my mouth snapped shut.

"Ship."

Too late.

"Shit. The ship."

Silence in the studio.

"The ship was lost at sea."

Rose hung her head and covered her face with her clipboard. My co-anchor, Tyler, collected his

papers and shuffled them into a pile, clearing his throat a little.

And Edward chuckled behind the camera as he zoomed in for a close up of my mortification.

1: Seattle's Sweet Tart

BPOV

I hate this office. I hate this copier. I hate…my…life.

Okay, I'm clearly being a wee bit overdramatic. I don't hate my life. This job is my dream.

But I do, in fact, hate this mother effing copier from Hell that was handcrafted by Satan himself.

Please scan badge_

"I just did," I muttered and swiped my card again.

Beep.

Please scan badge_

Gritting my teeth, I scanned it again, shaking my head at how ridiculous these machines were.

Beep.

Please scan badge_

"Oh my God! I just scanned my badge, you asshole!" I screamed and slapped the top of the feeder
and kicked the base with my foot. Searing pain shot up my leg and I bit my lip to stop the sob that
was lodged in my throat. "Mother of a whore…" I sniveled, hopping on one foot as I tried to
alleviate the pain in my now bruising toes.

"Ooh," a voice called to me from the doorway and I closed my eyes in exasperation. "Forgot you

were wearing open toed shoes?"

I settled my foot back down and took an irritated breath before turning to face him. "It doesn't

speak well of your manliness to know that these are 'open toed'," I retorted, using air quotes.

He laughed again and sort of slid towards me to take a look at the machine. I say 'slid' because he

was so fluid in his movements it was like watching a liquid apparition floating across the floor.

It was stupid. Just like his face. And his smile…that half-smirk-I'm-not-laughing-with-you-I'm-
laughing-at-you thing he always did that made his eyes go squinty and his ears pull up farther
against his head. Those pretty little pixie ears and stupid hair…

Gently, Edward took the paper I was holding in his hand and scanned his badge, making a copy

and retrieving both to hand back to me smugly.

Piss.

He'd been here less than a week and he could already work the machinery better than I could.

Edward leaned against the copier and his lips twitched like he was trying not to laugh. But that's all

he'd done since day one: laugh.

Why stop now, Chuckles?

"Are you okay?" His smile was getting wider and I narrowed my eyes in disbelief.

"Yeah. Great. Why wouldn't I be? Seattle's Sweetheart just said 'shit' on a live broadcast. Might as
well have said, 'Go fuck yourself, San Diego', and been done with it." Huffing, I turned to walk

away but he blocked my escape.

"Now, now. We're in Seattle. You'd never have said that about San Diego." He was full on deep

throat gurgling, now.

Deep Throat.

Dammit. That's what had made me screw up in the first place.

"Yuck it up, Mr. Masen. Perhaps if you hadn't been saying perverse things to me before I went on
air, I wouldn't have had a slip." Cocking a brow at him in challenge, I placed my hands on my hips
defensively.

His eyes grew wide and he laughed again. "Miss Swan. I did nothing of the sort."

"Ha!" I waved the paper in his face. "Your only way of communicating is with innuendo."

He shook his head and moved to the side to let me pass. "That's not true and you know it.

Sometimes I can just be straight up perverted."

I stalked towards the conference room and flung the door open, slumping down in the chair across
from Rose and Angela. They eyed me speculatively and crossed their arms at the same time.

Knowing where this was going, I closed my eyes and made an immature fake crying sound.

"How bad?" I didn't even open up my eyes to ask. It would be better with them closed.

"I think the network wants to hire a censor and implement a five-second delay."

My mouth went slack and my eyes shot open at Angela's words. "What? It wasn't THAT bad…"

Rose shook her head and frowned. "Bella. Yesterday you said 'sex' instead of 'success'. The day

before you said 'penis' instead of 'pennies'."

I choked on my own tongue and then sputtered uncontrollably. "Huh? What? I…pfft…it was…I
can't…" My words tapered off and I pressed my hands to my face, palms on my eyes as I moaned

sadly. "I'm sorry…I've been distracted and my sleep is affected."

Letting my hands fall from my face, I straightened up and set my shoulders. "I will do a formal
apology letter, if needed. Please, just…let me try to fix this and we'll move on, act like it never

happened?" I offered my T.V. smile and hoped it would work on these two.

Rose didn't seem to be affected by it.

"Is there something that you need to talk about?" Her knowing look made me blanch.

"No."

Angela leaned forward and looked me over again. "Bella…are you uncomfortable with anyone in the

office or on the crew? Someone bothering you?"

"No," I responded adamantly. I certainly didn't want anyone to get fired. Especially Edward
because he was pretty and I liked looking at him. He just needed to not speak and everything

would be okay.

It was when he opened his mouth and sound came out that things went downhill.

"Should I just grab a box? Clear out my desk?" I asked quietly.

Rose made an exasperated sound. "Good God, Bella. Always thinking the worst. You're not getting

fired. We just want to know how to get you re-focused. Back on your A-Game."

"I'm focused. One hundred and ten percent. I promise. No more potty mouth." I smiled again and

it seemed to work that time.

We dismissed and I stormed off to my office, shutting the door behind me and pressing my back to
it. No one made me feel as flustered as Edward Masen. I had worked my ass off for years to get to
where I was and one overly happy, pretty, perky camera man was making me fall apart at the

seams.

Not even Emmett could rattle me the way Edward did. And that was saying something because
Emmett was our sports guy and he had no concept of the term 'Inside Voice'. I had been rendered
nearly deaf on more than one occasion when he was reporting. And our weather man, Jasper, was
so eerily calm it could come across as creepy. The repair man, Jacob, was visibly flirtatious. All of

the men in this office could have, at one time or another, done something to make me frustrated.

But Edward Masen crawled under my skin. And rubbed me the wrong way.

Which made me want to rub him the right way.

"Sick," I chided myself.

He was probably a Chlamydia carrying pest like a pigeon…hopping from building to building and

shitting on things. Or in his case: screwing things. People. Women.

He definitely screwed women. A lot.

Yep. Edward Masen definitely had a sexually transmitted disease of some sort. And picturing his
dick black and oozing made me feel better. Especially when I pictured it as half an inch long and

with the circumference of a cigarette.

That had to be why he was so flippant and mouthy. He was making up for an inadequate member.

Poor guy. Maybe he was still a virgin.

The thought made me laugh. Out loud.

God, how funny would it be to find out that a man that looked like Edward Masen was still a virgin?

Thinking the worst about him made me feel better and I put aside any other unprofessional
thoughts I had been having. We were going to have to work together for the unforeseeable future.
Might as well establish our professional relationship right now. I could joke and play with the other

guys. Edward shouldn't be any different.

I would make sure he wasn't.

After looking over a few things, I tidied up my desk and stepped out into the hallway, hoping to
avoid any interaction with…well, anyone. Especially since I hadn't really seen my co-workers since

I'd shit on the news. Metaphorically, of course.

"What's up, Shit Face?"

"Emmett," I said in my most controlled voice without turning around. "You are not funny. Nor have

you ever been funny."

He slapped me on the back and shook me hard, sending me almost flying into the wall.

"Oh, yes I am. You just can't take a joke."

I caught myself before making impact with the plaster and rubbed my hand over my shoulder
where there would likely be a bruise in the morning. I planted my feet and turned to face him,
pushing up on my tiptoes and grabbing hold of his bright yellow tie. Yanking on it, I jerked his face

down to my eye level.

"I'M NOT DEAF AND I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW!" I screamed into his face, watching as his
mouth pulled back into a grin. His dark eyes widened happily and he laughed a loud, boisterous

guffaw.

"You know I like my Bella spicy. Caliente," he yelled and winked.

I rolled my eyes in disgust and released him, snapping my head around when I heard a noise in

the hallway.

Tyler.

Dammit.

"Hey," I called to him and cleared my throat, adjusting my hair and skirt before walking towards

him with confidence.

He smiled slightly and looked beyond me to Emmett. There was a moment where I thought maybe
they were exchanging a glance but it faded so quickly I couldn't have been sure.

"Are we going to dinner with your parents tonight?" I asked as soon as I'd made it close enough to
him to be able to whisper.

His eyes flicked around and then landed on my face fleetingly. Something was wrong. Tyler had
been acting strange for the past couple of weeks, but I'd thought maybe it was because of my
promotion to Lead Anchor. I'd never let a relationship get in the way of my success before, and this

had seemed like just another bump in the road towards us both getting where we wanted to be.

Tyler scratched at his ear and ran a hand through the dark hair at the base of his neck. He had that
douchey too-far side part that most anchormen had, but his boyish good looks and IZOD charm

kind of went with it. Throw in the dark brown eyes and he was cute.

I thought he was cute, at least…cute enough to date for the past year. And he was okay in bed. I

mean…he knew what went where, at least.

"Actually, they canceled." He smiled a little but it was placating.

"Why?" I asked, suddenly full of dread.

"Maybe we should talk after work?"

"Maybe we shouldn't?" I countered.

"Bella…" he warned, his voice dropping an octave.

"Tyler?" I searched his face and felt my heart drop a little in my chest.

He simply looked back at me.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I couldn't believe it. I'd always known we wouldn't last. But I never
thought we'd break up so soon. At work. While we still worked together.

That was bound to be awkward.

I'd have to share a news desk with him. And talk to his stupid face on camera. He would probably
tell everyone in the office how I shaved my coon. And what type of sounds I made in the throws of

passion.

Oh, well…not passion, per se. More like, 'let's get this over with, I have to get some sleep'. But,

still.

He was going to ruin everything.

"Lllllet's talk in your office," he suggested, using that soft tone he reserved for announcing celebrity

deaths on air.

I shook my head, watching my little stack of Jenga pieces being jerked around by his dumb,

stubby, couldn't-find-my-G-Spot-if-I-drew-him-a-map fingers.

"Say it here," I said flatly.

He fidgeted a little and looked back over my shoulder. "People are watching."

"People are always watching us."

He nodded and took a deep breath. "It's not you…"

"Oh, please…" I scoffed. "Cut the bullshit. What's her name? Where did you meet? And have you

already fucked her?"

His lips pressed into a thin line and he shifted his feet before replying. "Lauren. She works at my

gym. And…no."

"Are you lying?" I asked, knowing he wasn't. Had he slept with her, she wouldn't still be with him.

"No. You and I agreed to end things before it got that far, remember? I am keeping that promise."

Such a stupid thing to agree to. 'If you find someone else, break up with me before you take her

panties off.'

"So commendable," I hissed.

"I'm sorry," he began.

I shrugged, taking a step backwards. "Don't be. I knew it would end up this way, anyway. No
shocker here."

Emmett let out a strangled laugh.

"Pervert. Not The Shocker. Ass driller…" I shook my head and looked back at Tyler. "Everything

you left at my place…"

"I already got it," he said quietly.

I huffed and nodded; impressed. He must have gone at lunch. "You've always been tidy," I
complimented him. Holding out my hand I waited as he dug my apartment key out of his pocket.

Once it was placed in my palm, I slapped my fingers closed and jerked it away.

I never wanted him to touch me again.

He looked around and let air whoosh out from between his lips. "So, I guess I'll be going."

"Cool," I said, sounding about as lame as I felt.

Tyler turned and walked away, not looking back as he rounded the corner and made it out of my
sight. I braced myself and spun on my heels to face the couple of people that must have gathered.
Instead, I was greeted with about twenty people staring at me, mouths agape and eyes looking at

me like I was one of those Sally Struthers' kids on television.

"What?" I asked defensively.

They all stared back.

I shrugged once and lifted my free hand to pull my thumb and forefinger half an inch apart. "No big
loss," I stated before opening my office door again and retreating back to my safe haven.

And I swear I heard Edward Masen laughing.

8 =:=: =: = D

I turned the volume down on the television and squinted at the pile of pictures in between my open
legs. A year was a long time. And being in the public eye made a relationship all that more

chronicled. There was no less than four photo albums worth of them scattered from my thighs to
my ankles.

Grabbing my bottle of wine by the neck, I pulled it sloppily over to my hip and licked my lips.
Taking a huge swig of the red, I placed the bottle back on the floor and wiped my mouth with my
hand. My vision was growing foggy and I was feeling lightheaded, which made me feel better, if

even for the moment.

These pictures were dumb.

And Tyler was ugly.

His repulsive face was in all of these pictures. I snorted a little and folded one in the middle. I
looked half decent in that one. Gripping the scissors next to my leg, I held the crease open slightly
and stuck my tongue out of the side of my mouth as I concentrated on surgically removing the

moron from the picture.

When it was done, I smiled. Now it was just me. Alone.

And that was when it hit me: I was alone. I had no one. Not even that idiot Tyler and his terrible
skills in the sack. Or his lady-like 'come face' that always made me think he'd be a good cross

dresser. At least that was something. Someone.

No I had no one.

Which is when reality set in and I allowed myself to cry.

8 =:=: =: = D

Birds. Must. Die.

They tweet too loud. It's too early. I died in my sleep…

Red wine should be illegal. Or come with a package of some sort of hangover remedy.

I climbed out of bed and into my shower, reliving the day before and thankful that I'd at least
woken up when the alarm went off. I had almost slept through it, incorporating it into my dream

about chainsaws and Tyler's car.

The drive into work was short and once I was inside the building, I wasted no time whatsoever
going straight into Make - Up. My chair was empty and I was glad that I knew Tyler's schedule so
well. He wouldn't come in to get his done for at least another hour. He liked to spend time in his

office first. I preferred to be presentable when I walked down the halls.

"Hi, Alice," I said quietly as I settled into my seat.

She hummed a greeting and moved about to set up what she needed. Finally she turned to face

my reflection in the mirror and she jumped.

"Good Lord, woman. Are you alright?" She asked, leaning forward under the harsh lighting to

survey my face.

I sighed. "Yes. I'm fine. Just, please…fix this." I motioned around my face and gave her a pleading

look.

She straightened up and rearranged one of the bobby pins holding her bangs back. Her fingers
drummed across her chin and she blinked her big green eyes rapidly. "You need hemorrhoid

cream."

Shifting in my seat, I moved my butt farther back. "No I don't…"

"For those Louis Vuitton's under there." She pointed at my eyes while I started at her in confusion.

"Bags, Bella. You're puffy and have more than a carry on bag's worth of luggage under there."

I slumped into my seat and rested my head against my chair, losing my eyes and trying in vain to
relax. Alice was quiet as she prepped my face and I could feel the cool cream as it was applied
under my eyes.

"Ass Face?"

I jerked slightly and looked up to see Emmett smiling wide, staring at the tube of Preparation H in

Alice's hand.

"It just gets better and better," he boomed, leaning against the counter top.

"Emmett, you are interrupting my quiet time," I muttered.

"Huh? It's quiet in here, isn't it Lil' Bit?" Emmett batted his lashes at Alice and she giggled softly.

"See? Alice thinks its quiet in here."

"Damn, Emmett. I heard you in the parking lot."

Oh, please…not Edward.

"You have superhuman hearing, then, Ed." Emmett snickered as his voice got louder.

"You're a shit," I huffed, reaching to my side to see if I could find something to grab and throw at
him. But Alice's finger was in my eye and I couldn't reach very far so I just grabbed the first thing I

could wrap my fingers around inside of my purse and flung it in his general direction.

There was a surprised gasp and Alice leaned back to stare at me with a shocked expression.

Sitting up, I turned to face Emmett and Edward, confusion making me frown. "What?"

Edward looked down at his hands and then back up at me, a smile so wide I'd have thought he
won the lottery. He took a couple of steps forward and extended his hand to me, offering up a cup

of break room coffee. "I got both of us one, but I think this should definitely be yours now."

And there in my hand was a fresh, hot, steaming cup of Playtexaccino. I'd inadvertently thrown a

tampon. At Edward. And it landed in my coffee.

Because that's how I roll.

It began expanding and soaking up the steaming coffee, the wrapper was disintegrating and the

cardboard began turning brown right in front of my eyes.

But, in the midst of that bit of humiliation, I realized: Edward had brought me coffee.

2: Muff and Wang Go To the Fair

BPOV

"What's up, Muff?"

"Not much, Wang." I glared in irritation at Edward Masen, shaking my head at his ridiculous ability

to unnerve me so quickly.

Emmett's god-awful laugh split the air above my head like a clap of thunder. "Muff and Wang.

Don't you two just make the perfect team?"

Pointing my finger at him, I let it move back and forth as I tsked, his eyes following the movement
like one of those irritating cat clocks that my Gramma used to have. "Now, now, Ass Master…Muff

and Wang is still a better alternative than your little nickname."

Edward lost it then, choking on his coffee and doing an impeccable spit-take. Jasper stared wide
eyed from his portion of the set and I had to mentally pat myself on the back for how damn
uncomfortable Tyler looked from behind the news desk.

It had taken just a little over a month, but I'd successfully moved past my relationship with the
Icky Sticky Wicky, as I had affectionately named him after getting ridiculously drunk one night.

This just so happened to coincide with the day I received my new nickname.

See, I'd decided that I was going to be nice…not that I wasn't usually nice, but after coming home
to an apartment that was void of all of Tyler's belongings, and realizing that I was pretty much
alone in my life because of my decision to follow my dreams and chase the career I'd always
wanted, I had decided to try and get more acquainted with my coworkers. It had been much better
in theory where I envisioned myself walking into work with a container full of homemade muffins
and a smile like Patty Duke. In the fantasy, all of my news friends gathered around and did little
ooh's and aah's at my baking abilities and then we laughed and sipped coffee like adults while
bonding a little more.

What had transpired had been just the opposite of that. They were like ravenous vultures swooping
down on the muffins and then Emmett had tried to say that they tasted good, but a piece of the
pastry went down his windpipe and got lodged there right in the middle of his talking with his
mouth full and the sentence came out, "These are good…muff…" before he choked and had to be

beaten upon the back with a fist in order to cough up the murderous banana nut chunk.

According to Edward, after he stopped snorting and waving his hands around in amusement, it

sounded like Emmett was saying, "These are good, Muff."

So, it stuck.

Of course, I had to then wait for Edward to do something stupid so that I could give him an equally
embarrassing nickname. When a week passed by and he'd still not done anything worthy of
harassing him over, I'd gotten irritated. Somehow a discussion had occurred about comic book
super heroes and I'd inadvertently tried to insinuate that Edward was like Batman, but because I
truly couldn't give a shit about that stuff and…I actually have a life…I accidentally called his alter

ego 'Bruce Wang' instead of Bruce Wayne.

Cue the hilarity at my expense, per usual.

This is how we'd ended up here, today as Muff and Wang.

As for Emmett's nickname…let's just say that he thought he could use his sister's Thigh Master to

tone his ass cheeks.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love drunken Emmett? Because our weekly 'Staff Meetings' at
the bar down the street really made it worth the extra forty dollars I had to spend to get him
wasted. Emmett can't resist Goldschlager; and I used it as Truth Serum. Worked like a charm

every single time.

Edward wiped the coffee off of his shirt and muttered under his breath about having to change
before we left for our onsite piece.

"Better get pretty for the ladies," I chuckled, wiggling my eyebrows at him and giving a coy wink.

He threw a dirty look my way and shook his head while pulling his shirt up a little to get the
wetness off of his chest. My eyes landed on the exposed skin of his abdomen while the shirt rose
higher and I wasn't quite sure how long I'd been standing there staring at him, but he cleared his

throat to get my attention.

His tummy was pretty.

Pretty tummy.

Want to touch it. A little.

Time out: I need to be honest here.

Edward Masen is delicious. He's a Super Pretty Boy with a killer smile and stupid sense of humor.
He's tall and his body is ridiculous. And his hair needs to be yanked on in multiple ways through
multiple positions in someone's bed. I guarantee that he's a dirty talker and has some weird sort of
toe sucking fetish. And I also guarantee that he's never had a girlfriend for longer than three

weeks.

So, with as much as I would like to test out my fetish and hair pulling theories in multiple places
around the office or either of our apartments…on the news desk or in front of the weather

screen…wearing green Snuggies so that only our faces would be visible on camera…

What? Like you've never thought about it?

Anyway, with as much as I would like to mix business with pleasure, I already learned my lesson
the stupid way with Tyler and I wasn't interested in making the same mistake twice. Plus, it wasn't
like Wang was giving me any signs that he'd be interested in me anyway. He just made crude ass
remarks that made me blush and retort just as childishly.

And I liked it.

So, we'd keep it this way.

"Keep your shirt on, Wang. I'm so tired of you throwing yourself at me," I joked and turned on my
heel to take my place behind the desk, concentrating on my words the entire time because I was,

whether I admitted it or not, excited about going out on location with Edward later.

8=:=:=:=D

The news van pulled up to the outskirts of the fairgrounds and I sighed. This was not what I was

supposed to be doing anymore. Fairs were for newbies. I was not a newbie.

"Chin up, Muff." Edward chuckled and unbuckled his seatbelt. "You get to eat funnel cakes and pet

animals."

"You mean I get to puke and step in pig shit."

He laughed again and nodded, his eyes squinting through his smile. "Always so pessimistic."

"That's why I deliver the news, Edward. It's cold, hard facts. And it's rarely powdered sugar coated.
But it usually does smell like some sort of farm animal." I flashed my television smile and threw
the van door open. He set about grabbing his gear and I leaned against the side of the vehicle,

popping in my ear buds and cranking my pump-me-up music. Closing my eyes, I let my limbs relax
momentarily before I began to shake out my arms.

Next came the rolling of my head, stretching my neck.

Then I hopped a little from side to side, letting the silly beat lead my shoulders to roll and then I
just cut loose, limbs flailing while I hummed along and got my heart rate up a little. Once I felt
alert and ready, I opened my eyes.

Edward was watching me with a playful smile, his mouth twitching.

I removed the headphones and wrapped the cord around the iPod, placing everything securely in
the glove compartment before I grabbed my earpiece and mic from the van. He just waited for me

patiently and I marched off to my doom.

We caught the attention of a few Fair goers, and as I was instructed, I found my way over to the
face painting station. A little boy of about nine was getting his face finished up as we approached.
After a little coercing from his mother, we got him to say that he would be on camera to talk about

his face art.

Fiddling with the microphone cord, I let it fall a small bit away from my feet as I dropped to a squat

next to the child, getting to his eye level so that he wouldn't be as scared.

"Okay, Colin, I just need you to talk to me like we're just chatting. It's just you and me. No one
else. Once Edward," I stopped and pointed at the camera, "tells me to start, I'm going to ask you

about that awesome Spider Man mask that you just got painted onto your face. Sound good?"

The young boy's pale blue eyes widened and he nodded ecstatically. His red hair had a clump of
even redder paint in it and I was trying my hardest not to reach up and pick it out. I'd look like a
monkey searching for lice and my fingers would be stained red for the rest of the day. I'd just have

to let his mom handle that little bit of hygienic maintenance instead.

Edward gave me the signal to start and turned on the camera as well as the almost blinding white

light that I had grown accustomed to years ago.

Clearly Colin had not.

"I'm here with Colin Banner who has just had an amazing mask painted onto his face." Turning
towards him with a smile, I held the microphone out between us. "Why did you choose the Spider

Man mask, Colin? Is he your favorite super hero?"

Colin stared at the camera in terror.

Shifting a little on my feet, I leaned into his ear. "It's okay, Colin. Do you want to start over?" He

shook his head minutely.

Clearing my throat, I looked back up at Edward holding the cam steady. I rephrased the question,

hoping that a different approach would snap Colin out of his mini coma.

So much for hope.

The little boy just stared glassy-eyed at the camera.

"You know who I like?" I asked in a whisper. "I like Batman."

Colin's eyes slid to me while his mouth stayed open. Edward let out a choked chuckle and I shook

my head at him.

"I LIKE FROGS!" Colin screamed, catching me so off guard that I reeled backwards slightly.

"Oh, good." I straightened up and gave the camera a smile. "But what about your mask?"

"I LIKE FROGS BECAUSE THEY'RE SLIMY!"

Holding back the groan forming in my throat, I turned towards the camera. "There you have it,
folks. Colin likes frogs. And, until someone makes up a frog super hero, I guess he'll settle for

Spider Man."

The light on Edward's camera snapped off and I stood up to gather my mic cord.

"Spider Man is really cool. He can climb and he has webs that shoot out of his wrist like, 'thwip –

thwip," Colin called up to me and started pretending to shoot webs.

Great.

Now the kid wants to talk.

"Thanks," I laughed lightly. We parted ways with the Banners and made our way over to the
petting 'zoo'. It was clearly not a zoo. There were four rabbits, five goats, two pigs and one horse.

"You should do this piece from the horse," Edward said with a serious expression.

"No…wait, what? No!" I shook my head in defiance. "I'm not climbing on a horse to deliver this

story."

"Fine. Deny your audience what they really want to see," he sighed overdramatically.

"Tell you what," I leaned into his chest and poked a finger there. "I'll straddle the horse if you

enter the pig chase."

His muscles tightened and flexed beneath my fingertip and I held my breath as his face lowered
just a little to bring his mouth closer to my eye line. The peppermint he was chewing on made him
smell like the inside of my Mom's purse on Sunday mornings when she would give me gum at

church to keep me awake.

I should not be thinking about Jesus while staring at this man's mouth.

"Deal," he whispered and flashed that disarming smile.

Dammit. Now I had to ride a horse.

My ass would hurt and I'd probably fall off. Knowing my luck, he'd buck me off like a bull and
trample my face. But a deal was a deal and as long as I got to watch Edward chase a pig around
while it squealed and he lunged at it, face first into the pen filled with mud and…excrement, I

would take the odds of having full facial reconstructive surgery.

Maybe I could guilt Edward into giving me a sponge bath…

I reminded myself that he definitely had some form of syphilis and proceeded to talk to the owner
of the horse about taking a couple of minutes of film for the piece. Edward seemed a little too

chipper when I got the go-ahead to climb onto the back of the horse.

Bareback.

"Bareback," he chuckled and shook his head while adjusting his viewer.

I gave him my most sultry smile and leaned forward to stroke the horse's mane. "Jealous?" I let
my fingers slide across the hair and bit my lip. The horse whinnied, and her dark brown tail flicked
up towards me, wafting the scent of hay and horse ass my way. I gagged a little and Edward, as

usual, snickered.

"What's her name?" I asked the owner, Phil.

He gave me the once over and tipped his hat back a little to look up. "Nessie."

"Seriously?"

He nodded.

The Hell would you name a horse after a water monster?

"She goes by Renesmee, but we shorten it to Nessie."

Well, thank Tonto. I'd hate for the horse to be even more embarrassed by her dumb name.

"It's lovely," I lied and squeezed my thighs together to keep my balance while Edward handed over
my mic. Leaning toward Nessie's head, I flashed my brightest smile and waited for the signal to

begin. Edward pointed his finger at me and the light on his camera flared up.

Nessie snorted and took a hesitant step back. Her owner patted her neck and whispered into her

ear.

Freaking Horse Whisperer.

I opened my mouth to speak and as soon as the first word left my mouth, Nessie shifted a little

and her tail lifted.

"Oh my God," Edward cackled, his face shifting away from where the camera was settled on his
broad shoulder. His eyes were almost closed because he was laughing so hard and his Liquid Paper
white teeth were practically glowing.

"What?" I asked, exasperated.

"Nessie had to do her business," Phil stated, like it was just the most obvious thing on the planet.

"Pardon?" I knew he couldn't be saying what I thought he was.

"She pooped."

It was then that the smell hit me like a wall of…well, horse shit.

"Ugh," I yelped and tried to cover my nose with my hand to stop the reflexive gagging that was
starting to happen, but I moved too fast and jerked the cord on my microphone, startling the
horse. She let out a whinny and reared back and just as I was trying to grab onto her mane, her

front legs flew up and I flew back…and back…and back.

And when I landed, there was a sound…like, 'sploof', and the wind flew out of me, while white light
flashed in front of my eyes. My hands and arms flailed, twisting their way into the mic cord and
when my hands found purchase onto the ground by my side, they slid into what I could only

assume was the little pile of presents that Nessie had left before I was thrown.

I gasped hard, trying to gather a breath but every time I flared my nostrils to breathe in, the

stench of manure slammed me in the face and I gagged.

So it was a good thirty seconds of, "Huh," as I breathed in and, "Guh-bleh," as I wretched out. Phil
was trying to pull Nessie away and I didn't even notice how close her hind legs were to my face

until a whoosh of air slipped by and the sound of her shoes hitting dirt caught my attention.

And then, Edward was crouched in front of me, shielding my face from the flailing legs of the beast

and scooping me up from my pile of shit and…that's…when…I puked on him.

I vommed on my hero, Wang.

He saved me from death. Or, at least, a really unattractive horse-shoe shaped dent in my face.

And I puked on him.

While covered in fresh horse shit.

Should I let you sit and think on that for a moment?

"Oh," I wretched and my stomach rolled while I attempted to turn my head. "I'm so sorry," I puked

again and whimpered in humiliation.

Edward didn't laugh this time. He carried me out of the corral and off to the side of the barn-like
building. His silence made me feel worse and I closed my eyes as tears sprang up through my

ducts, mixing with the fear and panic that was pouring out of me in the form of sweat.

Stoically, he stopped out of view of any bystanders and leaned down to deposit me onto the soft

earth.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice tight and hands even tighter on my shoulders.

I opened my eyes and stared up into his, noticing for the very first time just how insanely brilliant
the green in his eyes really was. If I wasn't covered in vomit and dung, I would have sighed like a

love-struck pre-teen in front of her favorite movie star.

"I'm so sorry…I'm," I lifted my hands and noted that they were caked with poop, the cord of my
mic still wrapped around one wrist as it had broken during our evacuation. "I puked on you…I smell
like shit…I have…shit…on…my…hands!" My voice was catching and the hysteria was rising in my
chest, making my breath come quicker and I couldn't handle the smell or the feel of the mess on

me anymore.

"No, Bella…Bella!" Edward yelled, planting his palms on both sides of my face. I pressed my lips
together and stared at him, wide eyed and my vision blurred by my tears. He was so close to my

face and his eyes were…scared. Concerned. "Are. You. Okay?" He practically ground the words out.

"I'm fine. I'm not hurt." His concern calmed my hysteria immediately, which surprised me. I

reassured him and watched as the anxiety left his eyes.

"I thought she'd hurt you," he said, deflating a little and letting go of my face. He sank to the
ground and I watched in awe as he planted his palms on the grass beside him, his fingers shaking
and arms rippling from whatever he was feeling. He blinked a couple of times and followed my
eyes towards his hands. "Adrenaline rush," he offered as explanation.

"Thank you," I whispered, suddenly feeling even more foolish.

Had I been with any other camera man, I doubted that they would have attempted to save me

from a horse.

"It was my idea. It was stupid." He glared into the sunlight overhead and muttered under his

breath.

We sat in silence for a few minutes and I tried to regain my composure, unsure of exactly how we
were going to finish the piece and…get back to the studio…like this. Looking around, I noted a few

rows of tents set up where crafts were being sold.

"I think there should be a place where we can rinse off," I offered, pointing towards a bathroom.
There was a camp ground off on the other side of the park, and I knew we'd be able to use them

for free.

"You're not actually going to try and finish this, are you?" His look could have sliced me in two.

"It's my assignment."

"You almost got kicked in the face by…a…horse."

"But I didn't."

"Should I have let you get hurt?" He tilted his head in wonder.

"Ugh. No. Recoup time would have eaten into my vacation and sick time…" I rolled my eyes and

gave a smile. And then I remembered I was a human Port-A-Potty.

"You make no sense," he huffed and stood to his feet. He helped me up and we shuffled back
towards the abandoned equipment. The camera was safe on the other side of the barrier, but my

microphone was a whole different story all together.

I still can't figure out how the mic head ended up with the goats. But the one chewing on it sure

seemed to like it.

"Now what, Muff?" Edward asked, holding the camera as gently as possible away from his frame in

order to avoid touching it with anything icky hanging off of his clothes.

I was sure I had another mic in the van, so I sent him to retrieve it while I made my way over to
the main men in charge. Once they got a good whiff of me, they gave me everything I asked for.
Edward returned a few minutes later, his shirt having been discarded somewhere along the way.
The electrical cords were wrapped around his arm, the camera on one shoulder and my new mic in

his other hand.

I stared as he approached, fully transfixed by the way his stomach muscles flexed and contracted
with each step; the way his broad shoulders led up to toned muscles across his back and towards

his neck. He was perfect.

And…sparkly?

"What is that?" I asked as he came to a stop.

"Oh…" His face looked over the glitter on his chest and arms. "You had some Germ-X or something

in the van, and I thought I could use it to stop smelling like yarf. Didn't know it was all glittery."

A chuckle started deep in my stomach and I laughed a full, hearty laugh that shook my whole

frame.

"Why is that so funny?" He asked, feigning insult.

I shook my head and pointed to one of the bags by my feet. "Because, all they had to fit you was a

pair of overalls. So…you'll be all sparkly and shirtless in them…"

"What? I'll just wear these," he argued, looking down at his pants.

"You have horse doody on your knees." I pointed towards the huge stains and he groaned. "Come
on. Get in the spirit, Wang! I have to wear overalls too…"

He looked at me skeptically.

"The showers are over here," I said and grabbed our bags. Once we'd made it to the bathrooms I
handed him his stuff. "There's a little towel in there and some…soap." I shrugged and turned to go
inside to shower off.

The water felt amazing and I had never been so glad in my entire life to get clean. I was really
thankful that there had been some flip flops available at one of the booths, even if they did have
ribbons and bows hanging off of every last inch of them. Red polka dots and little plumes of blue

stars. Very patriotic.

Paired with the overalls and USA tube top, along with the red bandanna I had acquired to wrap

around my hair, I was surely a sight to behold.

But nothing prepared me for what was awaiting me outside. Edward sat on the bench against the
wall, our equipment resting near his propped up knee as he laid his head back and the waning
sunlight filtered across his features. He had his shoes on, and the overalls. But it appeared that

those two items were all there was to his outfit.

Given that he was probably a good inch taller than the average guy, the pants appeared to be at
least an inch too short and rode up above the wet sneakers that he had apparently worn inside the
shower and rinsed off. But his defined upper body was almost completely on display as he soaked

up rays of late afternoon sunlight.

And, the way that the overalls dipped just a little low on his sides made me stare. Because it was

hot.

Hot like…Vanilla Ice back in the day.

I cleared my throat and he lifted his face lazily, his eyes opening slowly before they landed on me.

His smile lit up his face and his brows drew together, upwards, all adorable and shit.

"Well, aren't you just as cute as the Fourth of July?" He joked.

I posed a little, patting the bandanna on my head. "I know how to appeal to my audience."

His gaze lingered a bit on the bedazzled USA on my chest and I felt myself start to blush a bit. In
one quick movement he was on his feet and gathering the equipment. His scent rolled towards me

and I giggled, covering my mouth to hide the sound, but it was too late.

Edward shook his head and made a sour face. "Thanks for the soap. I'm sure the Strawberry

glycerin was the best you could find, right?"

I lost it, bending at the waist and slapping my knee. "I promise…it smells better than vomit."

"You owe me, by the way." His eyes softened and his tone turned serious.

"It was your idea," I reminded him quietly; my amusement suddenly replaced by…something else.

His mouth opened like he wanted to say something and then it seemed that he thought better of it.
"Fine. I'm not doing the pig chase." And with that last statement, he led the way to film our last

piece for the assignment.

Chapter 3: Trip, Fall and Leap

EPOV

"What's that?" She asked, breathy and seductive.

I grimaced, forgetting that I had taken the souvenir from the Fair. "Its' your bandana," I
whispered, leaning across her to my bedside table to grab it. "It smelled like you so I took it. Is

that weird?"

She laughed a little and shifted on my bed to look up into my face. "I think it's cute."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…"

Bella smiled up at me and nestled her head more into my pillow. My heart was beating out of
control and I wrapped the bandana around my right hand to stop my shaking fingers from giving
me away.

"Do you want to kiss me?" She asked softly, raising one hand above her head to rest in her shiny,
dark hair.

It was the invitation that I was looking for; so instead of saying yes, I just went ahead and leaned
my face into hers. Things unraveled and spun out of control quickly; hands on bare skin, clothes
slipping over and off of limbs, mouths sliding across neck and shoulders until my face was hovering

above the space in between her thighs.

"It's beautiful," I whispered reverently, the excitement in my voice very apparent, making her

giggle a little.

I loved it when she giggled.

"Seriously. I mean…it's a really nice situation you've got here. It's pretty." I looked up into her
flush faced and sighed. "I want to, like, live here."

"What?" She sat up a little, confusion making her face scrunch up.

"I want to live in your Muff Cave."

Bella leaned back a little and scooted away from me. "Umm…"

"Yeah, I could just…crawl up in there. Live like an Indigenous man. Bring a blanket. You could give

me snacks. It would make a comfy house, right?"

"Did you just call my vag a house?" The look of horror on her face struck me as funny. Why was

she upset? It was a compliment. At least, I thought it was.

"You're a moron." She threw her legs off of the bed and scrambled to find her clothes.
"Freaking…house?" She threw a dirty look at me and opened the door with force, clutching her

clothes to her chest as I watched her little, apple ass wiggle on the way out.

James poked his head onto my room, shaking his head at my idiocy.

"What?" I asked, irritated at my current naked and aroused state.

He opened his mouth, his eyes suddenly vacant. "Another murder in downtown Seattle last night.
Police have no leads. No witnesses. Similarities to the last three unsolved murders lead

investigators to believe that we may have the beginnings of a new serial killer on our hands."

"James. Shut up…"

"Police are asking anyone with any information to step forward…"

I threw my hands up in agitation.

"More news to come after a word from our sponsor." James blinked once before he turned and

walked back into the hallway.

What the Hell?

"Kaboom!"

I jerked upwards, my arms flailing and comforter rolling back to expose my chest to the chill in my

room.

"Kaboom! It's FANTASTIC!"

Warily, I rolled to my side and slapped the top of my alarm clock with my fist. The joyful sound of
the now deceased Billy Mays faded back into the speakers and I slumped back down, face first into

my pillow.

Sleep used to be more comfortable than this. Before I'd met Bella Swan and she started degrading
me in my dreams. It never failed that any time I would get to the good part of my dream, I'd end
up saying something ridiculously stupid and she'd run off like I'd lit her on fire with a shiny pink

Bic.

Note to self: Never tell a woman that her lady bits would make a good house.

Ever.

Letting my eyes close again, I yawned. If I were less of a person, I wouldn't be getting up this
early on a Saturday morning. But I didn't have to work today and I needed to get some things
done to start the application for my project and if I didn't get a start on it now, I would never finish

in time.

In time for seeing Bella, that is.

Company picnics didn't seem like something I would have been interested in before going to work
for WTWI. But they seemed like a hell of a lot of fun if Bella was going to be there. In shorts. And

possibly a little tank top where her bra straps would be hanging out.

"I'm a douche," I lamented and pulled the pillow across my face.

I liked her, which was obvious to anyone within a ten foot radius. But, I liked her for other reasons
than just for being hot and successful. She was fun. Funny and quirky and smart…but she was also

inadvertently sexy.

The first day I was there she had been wearing this skirt and jacket that seemed pretty tame, as
one would expect from a Lead Anchor. But when she'd gotten finished with her broadcast, she had
removed her microphone from her lapel and then promptly got up from her seat to take off her
jacket…exposing a leopard print bra that was half peeking out of the top of the black shirt thing she

was wearing.

And that had been it.

So I'd started razzing her a little, playing with her to test the water. She always responded, and
while not generally witty, she always ended up doing something or other that would make me
laugh. I tended to just react to her that way. Like I was the friggin' Pillsbury Dough Boy.

'Look, it's Bella. Hee hee!'

It was embarrassing that she made me laugh all the time, but my nerves usually got the best of
me around her. I'd figured out after a couple of days that she was with that JCrew asshole, Tyler.
And then, when he'd been stupid enough to dump her in front of the entire office, I'd wanted to
tear his head off. But Bella had taken it with such grace…and then she'd talked about how small his

dick was and…shit…I think I'd fallen a little in love with her then.

The next few weeks, we would banter and I couldn't stop myself from goading her on, especially
when she didn't disapprove of her new nickname. I can't even start to tell you how much I loved to
call her that every chance I got. She always got flustered or would try to come back with

something, but I think I unnerved her enough that it sent her brain into little fritzes or something.

I knew she'd waited for a couple of weeks to see if she could trap me into an awkward situation to
create my own nickname, but she'd done it herself and I'll be completely honest: I have no
problem with being Bella's Wang. Every damn time she said it I got a buzz in my balls. The way her

lips puckered out on the 'w'? Ridiculous.

It was even more fun to mess with her in front of Tyler because he got a little irritable, thinking he
was better than me because I am a camera man and not in front of the lens. But I've never wanted
that, film is my life. And if I was going to have a career as a documentary film maker, I was going
to have to make money.

This was good money.

And Bella was there.

Win - win, in my opinion.

Even if it meant rescuing her from a horse; or letting her puke on me; or wearing denim overalls
looking like a hillbilly and smelling like fruit…it was with Bella. And it was fun. I never, ever,

thought I would love my job so much.

And I would never get the image of her on that USA tube top out of mind.

By the way, I really, seriously did steal that bandana.

My fingers slipped beneath my pillow and I pulled the swatch of fabric into my fingers, letting them
play over the red material and remembering the way her overalls sat just a little low on her,

exposing the pale skin of her sides and the dip of her hips.

Sexy in overalls. It was absurd, but true.

Awesome. Another raging boner.

It was practically an every day occurrence now; morning wood and a trip to the bathroom;
recalling memories of her dancing next to the van to that stupid song that she loved to get
'pumped up' to; finishing as I read her lips mouthing, "Excuse me Miss, but can I get you out your

panties?"

Never in my life would I have ever thought I would get aroused by a song featuring 3oh!3 and

Ke$ha. But that was the effect damn Bella Muff Swan had on my dick.

When I'd relieved myself, I walked into the kitchen, scratching my balls and staring blankly into the
refrigerator. Noting that we needed more food, I opted to have some cereal before getting started
on my submission request. A mixing bowl full of Cocoa Puffs and half a gallon of milk later, I was

sprawled out on my couch watching Saved By The Bell reruns.

Jessie Spano on Speed was the best thing ever.

"I'm so excited…" I sang along with her breakdown and shoveled another spoon full of cereal into

my mouth.

"Whoa…can you please put your nuts away?" Victoria shielded her eyes and marched through the
living room into the kitchen.

I groaned and shifted on the couch to move my boxers into a more secure position. "How was I
supposed to know you were here?" I muttered, taking another bite and turning up the volume on

the television.

She shuffled about in the kitchen and appeared a few minutes later with her own bowl of cereal. At
least today she had on pajama pants. Usually she walked around in her panties. And while I was
okay with an attractive woman wandering around in her undies, this was Victoria we were talking
about: she was like a sister and I certainly was not interested in seeing her Jungle Mitten through

her Hanes.

"Where's James?" I asked, not bothering to look up as I was fixated on the television screen.

"Getting your application for Sundance," she said before shoving her spoon in her mouth and

letting the metal clank against her teeth.

Worst. Sound. Ever.

I cringed and shook my head. James was my roommate and, for all intents and purposes, business
partner. We were going to be doing a documentary together and were planning on submitting it for
the festival. Hopefully we could get some kind of financial backing and then maybe we could

release it through a smaller production company, like Magnolia.

The only thing that might keep us from getting support would be James: He tended to look like a
homeless guy. His blonde hair was long and he kept it in a stringy ponytail, and he had light,
scruffy facial hair like that freaky Spencer Pratt dude and his flesh colored beard. Mostly, he liked
to dress in clothes that looked like they came from the Salvation Army. Apparently he took the

whole 'brooding artiste' look very seriously.

A lot of times it just made people drop quarters into his coffee while we were outside of Starbucks.

Victoria wasn't as dirty looking as James was, but she was pretty Bohemian…she loved her tie-died
shirts and crinkly skirts. And she just about lived in Birkenstocks. This usually made James' room

smell like a barn.

Barn.

Horse.

Bella.

I do not have time for another whack session this morning.

The door opened then and James trudged inside, waving the paperwork above his head. "And the
day has come, my friend," he announced.

I had to laugh. It was what we'd wanted to do for a couple of years now.

Now we just had to hand in a movie worth watching.

8==========================================D

The park was full…and I mean FULL…of station staff milling about and schmoozing. Kids were every

damn where…and I was a little frustrated wondering how I was going to find Bella in the madness.

Lucky for me, I'm half Giant…

Yeah. I am. Guess which parts?

Anyway, I'm really tall and she's really short so I kinda had to look a little harder than I expected
in order to locate her. I knew she didn't really have a whole lot of friends here, but the same five
or six people were always around, so I was sure that if I found Emmett or Rose I would find my

Muff.

Sure enough, Emmett's half screaming baritone beckoned to me across the field and from the way
he was flinching, I could only assume Bella was smacking the shit out of him for one reason or

another.

I was right.

As I approached at a half-jog…so as not to look over-excited or needy to hang out with people I

saw every day… I saw Emmett bobbing and weaving while Bella's little arms flailed spastically.

Rose stood just off to the side, hiding her laughter behind a beer bottle. Alice was leaning against

Jasper and they, too, were watching Bella and Emmett scrap.

Kind of.

"I hate you, you idiotic primate," she huffed and tried to slap him again.

"Nah, you don't. " In the direct sunlight of the afternoon, I could actually see the spittle flying out

of his mouth and it made me cringe.

Poor, poor Bella.

"Hi, Edward," Alice called to me with a little wave. She was really tiny, and her voice was barely
audible most days. It seemed that she was more comfortable with being outside. And she was with

Jasper. That was probably the main reason she was more comfortable.

I slowed my approach and gave her a smile, nodding at Jasper in turn.

"Why are you getting beat up by a chick?" I asked Emmett.

He held a hand out to deflect Bella's flailing fingers. "Bella doesn't like my nickname mash up."

"You're an idiot," she huffed and tried to push his hand away. She looked up at me and shook her

head in mock exaggeration. "He's trying to call me TamponShitPuke Face."

Emmett nodded his head and snickered. "Has a nice ring to it, right?"

I chuckled, not able to stop myself because he was such a ham, but he had a good side to him and
I knew for a fact that he loved Bella like one of his own family members. He liked to get under her
skin and piss her off, but he thought very highly of her. Letting the smile drop from my face, I gave

him a stern look.

"That's not very…re…spect…ful." I choked on the word because my laughter couldn't be contained.

Bella glared at me and pivoted to slap me instead. Her hand barely made contact with my skin and
I watched as her foot tripped on the other and she toppled forward…her face landing in my crotch.
I was stunned and unable to move as I watched her press her face into my zipper and grab the
outside of my thighs as she pulled her knees under her and shifted her face even more abruptly

into my favorite appendage's home.

"Mmf," she muttered.

"Umm," I started, trying to step back, but unsuccessful as she leaned into my crotch again. I
looked around in panic and realized that everyone else was staring in horror and amusement. "Let
– let me help you," I muttered and grabbed hold of her head, one hand on each side, to pull her

face back.

"Oww!" She screamed and squeezed my thighs with her spindly, little fingers.

"Sorry!" Wild-eyed, I gripped onto her hair and pulled her back. She slumped forward again.

"Mfhuck," she yelled into my pants.

"Huh?"

"Mmmmfhhhuuck!" She yelled and I couldn't help the reaction I was having as her face was

nuzzling my member and her yells were vibrating through the fabric.

Plus, she was on her knees and I was pulling her hair.

Oh, shit. I'm going to jail.

Alice finally came out of her 'idiot coma' and ran to kneel down next to Bella, moving her hair back

from her face where it was lodged into my pants. "Bella…are you stuck?"

Bella nodded her head and I pressed my lips between my teeth to subconsciously will down the

hard-on that was taking full form now.

Alice looked up at where Bella's head was connected with my pants and she winced. "Looks like her
hair is caught on your button and zipper." She pulled Bella's forehead back a little and began
working her fingers over my button and the tip of my zipper while Bella's face snuggled even

closer.

This could have been a fantasy of mine at one time or another, but it would not have included the
station manager, the weather guy and the Neanderthal sports caster watching from a few feet

away. Or a thousand other bystanders.

Of course, I did have two women on their knees in front of me…

"You…y-y-you okay down there?" I stuttered, patting the top of Bella's head a little as Alice's
fingers nimbly worked into the top of my pants and pulled my button open. She was focused, eyes
hovering just slightly above the pants and fingernails scratching against my sensitive skin below

my belly button.

James in a tutu.

James in a tutu.

James in a tutu.

Oh, God…please let my boner go away.

"Got it!" Alice exclaimed and I felt immediate relief as Bella's face pulled away from my legs. Alice
stepped back, her fingers clutching a chunk of wadded up Bella hair from what she had ripped out
of the button and zipper.

But I could barely pay attention because Bella was still on her knees and she was breathing in huge
breaths, her face bright red and lips puffy from where they had rubbed against the material

covering what had become obvious to her while she'd been down there.

Her eyes lifted to mine and then back down to the semi-noticeable bulge pressing its way towards
her face like a little toddler arm asking to be held and comforted…

"Good God," she breathed and pressed a hand to her mouth. "Sorry…"

I turned and faced away from her, trying to block out the loud ass ramblings of Emmett now trying
to come up with a way to incorporate 'Nut Nuzzler' into Bella's list of nicknames. Shifting my
situation into a better position, I gathered my resolve and began to walk away towards the tables

filled with food. And beer.

I definitely needed a beer.

The girl behind the catering table gave me a sweet smile and leaned forward, her boobs squishing

together a little as she did. "How may I service you?" She asked, batting her lashes a bit.

I had to laugh at the innuendo, considering what I'd just experienced. "A Heiney, please."

She giggled a little and reached into one of the coolers, bending over and giving me a smirk as she
dug around in the very bottom of the container to get a really cold one. Righting herself, she
sauntered back over and sat the bottle down before wiping her hands off on the cloth hanging from
her waist. Without blinking, she tilted the bottle forward and set the neck against the flat surface

before hitting the lid with her hand and popping the top off.

"Here you go." She smiled and handed the Heineken over.

I took it, biting back my laughter at her obvious flirtation. "Thanks." I tipped the beer in her

direction and stepped away from the table to down half of it.

A familiar voice caught my attention and I saw Bella scurrying as fast as she could to get to me.
She stopped just a foot short and held up her hands for me to let her speak. She was breathing a
little heavy and the tank top she was wearing was starting to slide down on one side, the thin

straps having come loose as she'd all but ran towards me.

"I'm really sorry and so embarrassed," she explained with pleading eyes. "I really didn't mean to
fall into your…business and I know I was moving and squirming and talking and I'm sure it was
just a weird reaction, but you really shouldn't be embarrassed because I'm sure it was
uncomfortable for you and I am humiliated…more so than usual, and I just want to make sure that

you're okay and that we're okay and that I didn't upset you…"

She was talking a hundred words a minute and I felt my face crack into a smile as she rambled,
her eyes wide and her tone full of worry. And in that moment, I was lost. Lost in her eyes that
spoke volumes about how she felt because she wouldn't apologize this profusely to just anyone,
right? And the way her hands were shaking surely meant that she cared about me in some aspect
that made her react that way. And she was so close, and right there and I could smell her hair and

see how soft her skin was…and I was lost.

So, I did what my heart and dick were telling me to do.

She was still talking, still apologizing and I just took a step towards her, clutching that beer in my
hands as I did, and without a singe word, I leaned in and kissed her.

Chapter 4: Eternal Sunshine of a Conflicted Mind

BPOV

Da da da da da da…

There was a chorus of heavenly angels singing.

Da da da da da da…

And Edward Wang Masen was kissing me.

He smelled like…man: amazing and crisp. His mouth was cold from the beer bottle and I could

taste the Heineken on his lower lip that was edging its way in between both of mine.

Don't stop believin'…hold onto that feelin'…

God likes Journey?

I pulled back slightly and blinked. That wasn't a chorus of angels…it was my phone.

"Umm, I should get that," I said quickly, reaching into my pocket. My fingers fumbled slightly and I
tried to swipe the face to answer it but ended up sending the caller to voicemail. "Shit." It slipped a

little and I grabbed at it, just missing smashing Edward in the face with my forehead.

He staggered back a step and eyed me tentatively.

We stared at one another in silence as we both tried to comprehend what had just happened.

"I'm sorry," he started.

"I don't like Heineken," I blurted out louder.

"What?" He looked so confused.

"I like Corona? Maybe I should get a Corona…" I turned and sprinted the couple of feet towards the

bartender who was giving me a dirty look for some reason. "Hi. Can I get a…"

"Corona," she finished for me. "I heard you."

Yikes.

She handed it over and walked away, and I could have sworn she gave me the middle finger as she

flipped her hair.

So strange.

Taking a sip with shaky hands, I continued to stare at the bar and…not turn back around towards
Edward. Of course he couldn't let me do that. Not Edward Masen.

He cleared his throat behind me and I felt his shirt rub against my arm. I stared straight ahead,
swallowing another drink when I felt his fingertips on my arm. Turning quickly, I looked to where
he was touching me and watched with wonder as his fingers trailed over my skin and up my arm
towards my shoulder to right the strap of my tank top that had inadvertently fallen when I had

been running towards him to apologize.

My gaze lingered on his long fingers and I let them trek upwards to his face, pulled tight with

worry. His eyes trained on mine and he licked his lips quickly before clearing his throat again.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." His voice was quiet and his eyes were flicking back and

forth between mine.

"I liked it," I whispered, shocked at my own honesty.

His eyes widened and he smiled a little, shy and surprised. "Really?"

Laughing, I nodded and took another sip of my beer. "Best kiss I've had in at least a year."

He let out a long breath and closed his eyes, letting his smile grow bigger. When he reopened his

eyes, they were bright with excitement. "I'm glad you said that…"

I shook my head and frowned. "It can't happen again, though."

"What?"

Letting my voice drop lower, I waved my hand towards the rest of the picnic. "Come on…look

around us…"

Edward looked over his shoulder and then back at me in confusion. "Because we work together?"

I nodded.

"You worked with Tyler."

"I know. And that was a huge mistake."

He narrowed his eyes and chewed on his lip. "What if I'm not a mistake?"

"What if I am?"

He coughed out a dry laugh. "What if you're the best thing ever?"

I had to chuckle at that. "I'm sure there are other girls who are better…"

The glint was back in his eyes. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

My mouth went dry at his words and I felt my thighs start to tingle. He was sucking me into his

tractor beams and I pictured myself hovering off of the ground before being abducted by aliens.

"Okay."

He looked shocked. "Huh?"

"I said okay. Let's go." I twirled around and searched frantically for a trash can to throw my bottle
into. Without another glance at him, I marched past Edward and started off down one of the
jogging trails that lead up towards the steeper part of a mountain. He followed me; I could hear his
footsteps just behind mine and when I reached a fork in the underbrush, I veered off to the left,

making my way through the trees.

When I'd reached a secluded spot, I stopped, my breath catching in my throat and causing my

chest to rise and fall erratically. I felt alive. I felt scared. I felt…like I was going to throw up.

He stopped just a foot short of me and I took a deep lungful of air, letting my shoulders stiffen
before releasing it quietly. Perhaps the air was thinner up on the mountain, because I was having
trouble breathing. And it was quiet. Well, quiet except for the birds and the distant echo of music

from the picnic and the sound of people yelling and shit.

It was quiet.

Ever so slowly, he crept forward, the plush grass and leaves softening his footsteps as he
approached me from behind. I felt his chest at my spine and I sighed, closing my eyes as he

stopped and stood very, very still.

"Bella," he almost whispered; his voice gravelly and dry.

I turned abruptly, my feet not as fast as my head, and I stumbled a bit into his chest…again.

"You keep falling for me," he joked and I gripped onto his yellow shirt, my hands fisting the open

fabric of the unbuttoned top and pulled with all of my might until his face was level with mine.

Staring into his outrageously sexy face, I gulped. "Are you gonna kiss me, or what?"

His lips parted for a split second before he pulled me to his chest and pressed his mouth to mine.

I was a Fourth of July sparkler – my entire body was popping and crackling with sensation. And all
of them were good. It was warmth spreading from my head to my toes and I could pinpoint the
moment when my face burst into flames, and my legs began to tingle and the tiny butterflies in my

stomach exploded, fluttering upwards into my chest and making it hard to breathe.

He was solid and unyielding, his grip on my waist firm and gentle all at the same time. His hands
were kneading my sides slowly, but his fingers were digging into my flesh like he was a ticking
time bomb. And then he pulled me closer and I allowed my palms to slide up his broad shoulders
and across his neck into the hair at the nape, where I let my fingertips twirl the wayward ends

around my fingertips.

My hips angled into him and I let out a shocked gasp when I came into contact with what I'd been

face to face with just a few short minutes ago. It was miraculous.

His hands slipped lower, slowly as if he were waiting for me to stop him…like I was that stupid.

Please.

When he'd reached the top of the pocket on the back of my shorts, he slipped both sets of fingers

inside of them and curled them inward to squeeze my ass.

My heart raced frantically and I gasped again, opening my lips to breathe when he flicked his
tongue out quickly to draw a line over my top lip and then it disappeared back into his. Feeling
brave and spurned on by the fact that he was so into it, I threw all concerns aside and thrust my

tongue into his awaiting mouth.

It was hot. Like…seventeen-year-olds-making-out-for-the-first-time hot.

Oh God…all I wanted to do was climb his torso and wrap my legs around his waist…chest…face.

Pictures flashed behind my closed eyes of me naked and his face pressed in between my thighs, up
against a tree. And then I pictured splinters in my ass and scabs on my back.

"Ow," I mumbled and he immediately grew still, removing his face an inch from mine to look at me
with concern.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, feeling incredibly lame. "I'm more than okay."

He nodded. "Sure?" His fingers flexed in my pockets and he squeezed my ass again. My right leg
lifted a little and I angled my calf to wrap around his knee so that I could rub myself against his

thigh.

"I'm pretty damn sure."

His eyes drifted closed again and we were right back where we had left off, our mouths working in
harmony while our tongues danced in and out of their respective homes. I was so turned on I was
afraid I would leave some sort of stain, but it didn't stop me from wriggling against his leg like I

was riding that stupid horse, Nessie.

His hands pulled out of my pockets and he bent a little at the waist, his arms scooping under my

thighs to pull me up and wrap my legs around his waist.

Oh…hell. The semi he'd been sporting earlier was nothing compared to this flag pole at full staff.

Wang's wang was plentiful.

I rubbed against it wantonly, securing my ankles around his back and slithering across his front
again. His mouth pulled away from mine and latched on to my neck. I mewled and gripped onto
the back of his neck harder, panting as I let my head roll back a little to give him better access. He

grunted into my skin and tilted forward a bit.

"Oh, shit! Don't drop me," I yelled in panic.

"I'm not going to drop you," he assured me and lowered himself to his knees. When he was safely
grounded, he ran a hand under my cheeks and the other into my hair to cradle my head. Leaning
me back gently, he let me fall onto the cushioned earth below. I sucked in a needed breath and

rested my head against the ground, looking up at him from my new position.

Edward was positioned above me, holding my thighs around his waist while my upper body rested
below. His eyes roamed my face while his palms pressed my thighs inward towards his massive

boner.

"I really like you," he blurted suddenly. "A lot. You make me nervous and I think you're so pretty
and I can't believe you're here right now and that I get to kiss you." He blinked hard like he
couldn't believe he'd just said all of that.

Neither could I.

"Yeah…well, I like you too."

His face broke out into the most adorable smile. "Yeah?"

I rolled my eyes and shifted into his lap forcefully. "Yeah." He kinda looked like he did an internal
fist pump. He was so damn cute. Raising myself up a bit, I reached out for a belt loop and pulled
him on top of me. He settled his hips in between my legs and I let out a ridiculously noisy moan,

blushing and cursing myself in my head when birds scattered into the air.

My hand crept between us in the limited space where we weren't touching and I pulled his lips in
for another kiss as I wiggled my fingers against the button of his pants. My thumb slid across a

smooth crest and my eyes flew open in surprise.

"What?" He asked, the panic back in his face.

"Your junk is huge," I sputtered.

His face tilted and his mouth turned down with worry. "No…no, I'm sure I'm average…"

The delivery of that line led me to believe he'd be terrible in front of the camera.

"I call bullshit," I muttered, running my hand across his zipper and down. "Seriously. Do they make
special underwear for you?" I could see my hands moving across the length of it in my mind and I

was astonished. "Have you ever killed a woman with this thing?"

He laughed, embarrassed and a little flattered, I think. "No. No one has died."

"Well, damn. I think I might need to try to work my way up to this. Get some new vibrators?" I
scrunched up my face and bit my lip when my palm passed across the head and rested on the tip.

"I don't mean to be rude, but that might ruin me for any other man."

"Is there a reason you're stroking my ego?" He choked a little as I continued my exploration of his

member.

"I'm pretty sure I'm stroking your dick, Mr. Masen." I lifted one eyebrow and slipped my fingers

into the waistband of his pants.

He moaned deeply and leaned into my chest to nip at my collar bone. "Your hands are soft," he

whispered.

"Your cock is softer."

His head shot up and I wrenched my hand from his pants. "Not like that!" I scrambled to sit up on

my knees. "It's soft like…kitten fur. Or a bunny. Like…good soft not flaccid soft!"

He looked horrified.

"No, no. You're not listening to me. Like…" I leaned forward and gripped his pants in my fingers,
popping the top button and sliding his zipper down. Lifting his undershirt to pull his erection free, I
bit my lip to stifle my reaction. "Velvet." My eyes met his, a little scared and hungry with desire. "I

wanna rub it on my cheek."

His eyes popped and he laughed nervously again.

I was kneeling before perfection at the Alter of Peen. I'd never seen anything like it before and I
was both mesmerized and terrified at the same time.

There was no way in Hell that thing was going to work in my Muff Box.

My fingers twitched slightly and I watched in awe as they stretched to come into contact with it.

One touch and it bobbed forward, scaring the shit out of me.

"Oh my God," I screeched and leapt to my feet. "Sorry. No way. No sir. Not gonna happen."

I'd been completely wrong. It wasn't terrifying because he was a plague carrying pigeon with a

plethora of diseases and a bathroom cabinet full of prescription medications.

It was terrifying because… I would die. And while I wouldn't mind taking my last breath that way…I
had no intention of dying so young.

How would the coroner explain that to my Dad?

"Sir? Can you come identify the body?"

That would be a terrible way to introduce him to Edward.

What was I saying? That thing wasn't coming near me. Whatever I had thought I could do, I was
wrong. I couldn't do this…there were too many conflicting thoughts and feelings coursing through

my brain and I didn't have the mental capacity at the moment to sift through them.

Edward looked more confused than I had ever seen him. "Bella, I…"

I shook my head and turned as fast as I could to flee the woods, back to the open area of the

picnic and straight to my car.

Death by dick.

I couldn't end up on the Nightly News that way.

So I sped away from the lemur he had in his pants. And from Edward.

Monday would not be pleasant.

8==========================================D

I sat in the parking lot of the station and stared at my reflection in the vanity mirror.

"Hey, Edward…" I gave my most confident smile and attempted to come off as blasé.

It wasn't working.

"What's up, Wang?" I scrunched up my face and rolled my eyes. "I am so lame. This is so stupid…"
Laying my forehead against the steering wheel I poked my lower lip out and make a fake sobbing
sound. "He hates me. I am so,so,so,so stupid."

What kind of woman runs away from a Johnsonville Bratwurst?

The kind who has been dealing with a Lil' Smoky for the past year: that's who.

We were cool, Edward and I. We were totally and completely at ease together and I had to go and
fall face first into his banana and kumquats. The whole scenario reeked of Bella Swan Klutz –O –
Rama. I knew…I just KNEW I was going to end up doing something incredibly humiliating in front
of him. As if the vomit and horse shit weren't enough, then I had to go and nuzzle up into his Big
Top and get stuck.

Then he'd started pitching a tent and I felt bad because I was sure it was only because I was a girl
and not because he actually liked me. I was still under the impression that he'd slayed millions of
women with his Excalibur…and therefore he was just having a Pavlovian response to a face in his

crotch.

I mean, the thing had all but patted me on the cheek to say it was okay.

So, when I had run to apologize…and he'd kissed me…I'd kind of taken it as another smooth move
on his part. And I'd really liked it when he kissed me because it meant I wasn't a freak. But it also
meant that I could just be another notch on his Swiss cheese looking headboard. At the same time,

I really wanted him to kiss me and I liked it and felt bad for liking it, but he made me feel like I
wasn't a leper like Tyler had started to make me feel.

And once Edward had revealed that he actually liked me…well, call me a blind-sided bitch because I
definitely did not see that coming.

I'd thought about it all night on Saturday and all day on Sunday and I couldn't quite wrap my mind
around why I had run. Sure, I really was physically scared of what he was smuggling in his pants.
And, sure, I really did wonder if my Coon Hole could handle a Harp Seal, if you get what I'm

sayin'… But more importantly, could my heart afford to be broken?

Tyler hadn't really hurt my heart all that much, more my ego.

But there was something about Edward Masen. He was so much more than Tyler had ever been,
already, and that thought scared me. I liked Edward more in six weeks than I had ever liked
another man in my life. And I would be lying if I said that I didn't have a serious school girl crush

on him and wonder what my name would look like on the teleprompter hyphenated with his.

I would also be lying if I said I didn't think about what it would be like to actually go out on a date
with him, and kiss him for real, and maybe…let him get naked with me, us getting married and

having babies and living happily ever after.

Because, those thoughts were foreign to me.

Living in suburbia with a man who I could crack jokes with and have a family with and give up

everything for was NOT something I had ever intended to do.

But Edward's eyes had freshly cut lawns and white picket fences in them.

After two days of self diagnosis on my own couch, I realized that. It completely freaked me out. It
made me look around myself and at my barely furnished apartment and reconsider all that I had

ever thought I'd wanted.

So, if I could cut it off now, it would never get to the point of me letting him in. I wouldn't have to
make that choice. I could just be Bella Swan, Anchorwoman for WTWI. And he would work the

camera and we'd be friends and that would be it.

Oh, and I would get a huge vibe and name it Wang and pretend that it was him, while I closed my
eyes and fantasized about his eyes and mouth and hands and various other body parts that I may

have encountered at one time or another.

Not that I had already done that.

I mean, it was Sunday when I'd thought of that plan, after all.

Begrudgingly, I sat back up and straightened my shoulders, checking my reflection in the mirror
one more time. I could do this. I could be me and he could be him and we could work together and
not have it be weird that I'd kissed him and rubbed up on him and then accused him of having too

large of a member and running away from it like it was going to attack me.

Yep.

I could do this.

Walking directly to Make Up, I seated myself in my chair and said good morning to Alice. She was

in a chipper mood and gave me a sweet smile.

"Good morning, Bella. Sorry you had to leave so fast at the picnic. We ended up doing a three-
legged race and water balloon toss. It was really fun until Emmett started purposely taking
everyone's water balloons and throwing them at any woman with a white t-shirt on." She chuckled

and pulled out an applicator for base.

"Sounds like Emmett," I responded cheerfully.

"Edward said you didn't feel well, so you left. Was it because you were embarrassed?"

"About what?" I practically yelled. She jumped back a little and stared at me.

"About your face plant into his…" Her hand circled her zipper and she grimaced.

"Oh." I was so stupid. Of course no one would know about anything else. "Yeah. No. I mean, no, it

wasn't that. I think it was an egg salad sandwich or something."

"Gross," she whispered as she leaned in to apply my foundation. "I hope you're feeling better?"

"Yeah. Much better, thanks."

"That's good."

We settled into a bit of quiet and I just rested my eyes as I allowed her to work on me. My
thoughts turned to the weekend and I had to remind myself that as long as I could get through the

initial awkward meet and greet, we would be able to move on and put it all behind us.

"Hello, Isabella."

I shifted in my seat and felt Alice step away so that I could stare at Emmett standing outside of the

doorway, smiling pleasantly.

"Why are you calling me Isabella?" He was up to something, and I knew it.

He shrugged. "There are just too many nicknames for me to call you and I can't decide which one

is my favorite, so I'll just go with your real name." He flashed a toothy grin and gave Alice a wink.

Something stunk about the whole thing. Stunk like the dumpster behind a Red Lobster.

"You're up to something fishy," I said lowly, giving him a glare.

"No." He shook his head and held his hands up in supplication. "I just can't work …Face…into a

real, honest-to-God nickname."

I just stared. Something else was coming.

He just stared back.

It was almost as if a legitimate light bulb went off over my head. I leaned forward and lowered my

voice in what I hoped was a menacing hiss. Narrowing my eyes, I whispered, "What do you know?"

He chuckled and shrugged. "Whatever do you mean?"

I shifted and stood up, pointing my finger at his face. "Tell me what you know Emmett. Now."

"About you and Edward?" His smirk was making my brain fritz and not in the good way that

Edward did it.

"Oh, my God. Did he tell you? Did you see? Can you even comprehend how I would get that thing
inside of my body? It's not a human appendage…I'm sure you saw that and were just as surprised
as I was that he's carrying a baseball bat in his pants, so you certainly can't blame me for freaking
out and running away from him because it sure as hell scared the shit out of me and I had no
choice because my flight reflex kicked in and I kept thinking that I would end up in the E.R. with

nineteen stitches and I would have to take time off in order to recover…"

Emmett's mouth had gone completely slack and his eyes were so wide I was sure I could actually
see a bit of his ocular cavity. His hand lifted slowly and he held up one finger for me to stop

speaking. "I assure you, I was not talking about his manhood."

Alice made a noise behind me and I turned to see her settling into my chair to watch this new
scene of humiliation unfold. Swiveling back to face Emmett, I felt my stomach drop. "Then what

were you talking about?"

His eyes blinked and his mouth twitched slightly. "I was talking about him kissing you by the bar.
No one else seemed to have noticed and I was just coming in here to tease you about it, but
now…"

I waved my hands frantically and lunged forward to reach up on my tiptoes and press my hands to

his mouth. "Shh, please Emmett. Don't say anything to anyone."

He backed away and laughed ridiculously loud. "Oh, I'm sorry but this is too good to keep to

myself."

"Please," I pleaded, working my Magic Puppy Dog Eyes and poking out my lower lip. "I will owe you
forever. Just…come on, Emmett. Do me a favor? Just one. Can you make my life less of a living
Hell for one day?"

Emmett gave me a dirty look instead of a reply.

"It's mostly for Edward, okay? He had to have been…I don't know…upset or something when I ran

away from that thing."

Alice cleared her throat and I looked over my shoulder at her.

"What?"

She gazed at me in wonder. "How big was it?"

I rolled my eyes and turned my upper body as I lifted my hands apart from each other. She simply

gasped.

"I know…" I turned back to Emmett and his eyes squinted, mockingly.

"You're making that shit up."

"I'm. Not."

We heard footsteps in the hallway and Emmett finally ripped his gaze from my hands and a huge

grin appeared on his face. "Speak of the devil."

"Ohmygod," I mumbled and rushed back to my seat, shooing Alice out of it so that I could climb
back in. Alice hovered above me, seemingly in a bit of a haze and I closed my eyes, holding my

breath until I heard Emmett greet Edward a little louder than normal.

"My brother from another mother," he exclaimed and I heard him slap Edward on the back. At

least, I hoped that was where Emmett was slapping him.

I'm going to Hell.

"What's that about?" Edward asked him and I kept my eyes closed so as not to have to…ya

know…look at him.

"Nothing, man. I just think you and I have a lot more in common than I originally thought."

Stupid Emmett, going on about his own dick size. This wasn't some kind of contest.

"Oh. Alright. Maybe later you can tell me what that is." Edward's voice was smooth and even and I
couldn't even tell if he had noticed that I was in the room at all. Alice was busy working on my

eyes and I tried to hold still but my nerves were getting the better of me.

"Stop shaking," Alice barely spoke from between her teeth.

"Sorry," I said back, trying to be just as quiet.

"Good morning, Bella."

My heart leapt in my chest and my fingers tightened on the arm rests that they were digging into.
His voice on its own made me need some 'alone time'.

"H-hhhhhi, Edward."

Damn my stuttering mouth.

I opened my eyes and saw Alice's gaze flicker over towards Edward's lower extremities.

'Stop it,' I mouthed to her. Her eyes snapped back to my face and she tried to blink some sort of
Morse code at me but I don't know that shit so I just lifted my knee to hit her with it in her tiny
thigh. She jerked a little and tried to convey with her glare that she would kill me with eyeliner if I

did that again.

There was an awkward beat of silence before Emmett mumbled something and I heard both of
them move down the hallway and out of ear shot. Alice finished my make up before Tyler came in
to get his done and I busied myself looking over the topics we would cover, hyper-focusing on the
words so that I could ignore everything and everyone around me.

Especially Edward.

Not that he was speaking to me or anything; because he wasn't. I pretended not to notice, but it
was glaringly obvious that we were keeping a wide berth of one another. It was only when I took a
moment to grab some coffee that I found myself passing by him in the hallway. And he looked
disturbed.

Slowing my feet, I tilted my head and asked, "What's wrong?" Heat flamed up my chest as his eyes
found mine and he scratched his hand through his hair, looking quizzical.

"I was just in the bathroom with Emmett and he kept talking to me while I was trying to…you
know…do my thing. But it wasn't like he was actually having a conversation, he was just mumbling

and…" He grimaced and shook his head quickly. "Forget it. It's a Guy Thing."

Emmett was totally checking out Edward's lemur. That idiot…

"Okay. Well, I'll see you on set," I said softly giving him a small smile.

And that was that. I went on the air, doing my best impersonation of a person who was unaffected
by her surroundings: by the ex-boyfriend reading the news to her left and by the man she was

lusting after behind a camera that she was speaking directly into. And unaffected by the idiot
behind the sports desk that was trying to catch a peek at said camera man's member that was now

going to be a water cooler conversation topic for weeks, if not months, to come.

I heard Tyler finish his sentence and saw the red light on Edward's camera shift to green and I
smiled right into the lens, watching the teleprompter scroll through the words that I was meant to
say on air. And I smiled as wide as I could as I pushed back thoughts of what it could be like to let
myself be with Edward…to kiss him and let myself love him and maybe even one day let him see if

I was off on my assumption that there would be no earthly way we could ever have sex…

I needed to stop thinking about Wang's wang…stupid me with wang on the brain.

Lifting my chin, I looked into Edward's camera and let my words roll effortlessly from my mouth.

"Tonight we'd like to take a moment to honor a local law enforcement member who got a very
prestigious award today. Seattle's own Officer Riley Biers was awarded the much anticipated Top

Cock Award…"

My cheek twitched as my voice caught in my throat and I watched in horror as Edward's face
shifted from behind his camera to stare at me, his mouth pulled into a grim line and his forehead

creased with bafflement.

"Top Cock…Top. Top. Top Cop." I finally got out and smiled into the camera, a feeling of nausea

hitting me with such force that I had to swallow to stop myself from puking on air.

The air buzzed with tension and electricity as I tried to keep my eyes trained on the camera, but
the tittering of my fellow employees was too much and I made the dreadful mistake of looking over

at Emmett as he was slumped onto the desk, shaking with laughter.

He slapped his hand down and gasped in a breath. "Top Cock…Whammy!"

It was then that I realized that everything would not be okay between me and Edward. Because I
was staring into his eyes as I said it; and it was obvious in the way my stare was glued to him;
how red my cheeks were; how flushed my chest was. It was in the way I was leaning forward,
frozen and terrified and mentally screaming for him to save me, but wearing a plastic smile on my

face and sweating profusely instead of abandoning my chair.

I also knew…they would be implementing that damn 5 second delay as soon as I was finished

being written up for my word vomit.

And that I would be put on suspension after I finished kicking Emmett's stupid ass.

5: The Short Second Life of Muff's Penal-ization

BPOV

The conference room was loud. Between Rose yelling at Angela and Tyler attempting to talk over

Emmett, I couldn't take it.

"Stop!" I yelled and slapped my hands on the conference table. All eyes were on me, and none of

them looked pleased. Except for Emmett, of course.

Rose narrowed her eyes and leaned across the wooden top to glare at me. "You don't really get a

say in this, Bella. This station is going to be in deep shit if you don't get it together."

Looking away, I blinked back tears.

Angela spoke up, "We either implement the delay or Bella is going to have to take a week off."

"Why does it have to be one or the other?" I asked, pleadingly.

"Because we are going to be a YouTube phenomenon soon, Bella." Tyler shook his head at me and

scowled.

I stared at Rose. "Does he have to be here? It really doesn't involve him at all."

"This is my job, too!" Tyler stood to his feet quickly. "She's Lead Anchor and the past two months

have been ridiculous."

Rose shot him a death glare. "Sit down, Tyler, before I dismiss you." He sank back into his seat

slowly. He knew better than to mess with Rose. We all did.

Emmett cleared his throat and swiveled in his chair, his hands behind his head while he looked me

over. "I think she's just got…a lot…on her mind." He freaking snickered.

"I will kill you," I hissed and shot him daggers with my eyes. He smiled wider.

"I need to know what the hell is going on right now. Someone better start explaining before I
replace every single one of you." Rose's nostrils were flaring and new panic settled into my chest.

"Well, see…Bella and…" Emmett started to speak and I'm not sure what came over me, but my
brain snapped and I lunged at him, my chair flying back into the wall as I slammed my body into
his and slapped my hand over his mouth.

"Shut. It." I growled.

Angela blinked rapidly in surprise.

Rose huffed and placed both of her hands on her face. "Oh my God. That's it. I quit."

I unlocked my fingers from Emmett's mouth and held up a shaky hand. "We can talk about it,
Rose. Just…it doesn't involve Emmett or Tyler. And I would feel more comfortable not talking about

it in front of them."

Emmett tsked. "Nothing I haven't heard before."

Rose threw him a look. "Out. Both of you. Now."

He raised his eyebrows at her and a smile crept up on his face. And then he winked.

What. The. Hell?

Tyler left, muttering under his breath and Emmett followed behind, looking smug. When they were
gone and the door was closed, I settled back into my seat and faced Rose and Angela. They looked
back at me expectantly.

"Speak or take a vacation. I'll send your ass to Isle Esme if I need to. You're losing it, Bella. I've
never seen you like this. Your professionalism is nil. And your focus is shot. You've turned into a
twelve year old girl all of a sudden and I'm not sure if it's because of the break up with Tyler, but it

coincides with the timing so I can only assume…"

"Edward kissed me and I ran away from his massive member at the picnic." It came out so quickly

I had no opportunity to stop it.

Rose's face was priceless.

Angela's was confused.

"So…you've been talking about sex and penises because you…literally…have been thinking about

Edward's?" Rose's voice was getting louder and I flinched.

"Yes."

Angela leaned on her hand, interest piqued. "Why did you run away?"

"Because it's huuuuge," I said, bringing my hands up to show them.

Their eyes grew wide.

Rose squinted. "That might be bigger than Emmett's…"

"What?" I yelled, clasping my hands over my mouth to stifle my surprise and gagging.

She pressed her lips together and stared at me for a split second before bursting into laughter.
"Yeah," she choked. "Emmett's packing an Escalade in his pants…but that's a stretch limo. My

God."

I shook my head, trying to understand what she was saying. "Please don't use car analogies, Rose.

It hurts my head."

"That's gonna hurt more than your head," Angela whispered with awe.

"I know!" I threw my hands up in desperation. "SEE? Even Angela knows that being in contact with
that monstrosity would cause me physical harm. And the sad thing is that Tyler's pretty much got a
VW Rabbit in his Dockers, so I'm not used to even being able to feel anything during sex and now I

have to worry about a telephone pole!"

Rose blinked in silence.

I sighed. "Wait. I just realized you said that you know what Emmett's dick looks like."

She nodded. "I know more than what it looks like…"

"Since when?"

She smiled. "About a month ago, I guess. After you got him drunk at the bar one Friday night." A
glassy look crossed her eyes and she sighed. "He's an idiot when he's here, but you would never,
ever believe how smart he really is. Or how nice his chest is." Her fingers opened like they were
rubbing imaginary pecs. "And I'll admit that I thought he'd be a lazy and selfish lover, but…" her

cheeks reddened, "he's a giver."

"Should we have HR in here?" I asked, looking at Angela for help. But Ms. Weber seemed to be

entranced by Rose's story and she looked like she was imagining as well.

Rose shook her head, 'no'. "This discussion does not need another party involved, Bella. What
needs to happen is this: You. Need. To. Get. Laid. You have cock on the brain and if you don't get

laid, you're going to get fired."

"This can't be ethical," I lamented and closed my eyes.

"Oh. Ethical? Fine. I'll fill out your paperwork now and we'll discuss your future elsewhere." Rose

was being dead serious.

"So, either I bang the camera man or I'm fired?" I was shocked.

"If not him, then someone else. I don't care. But if all you think about is getting some and then
you deprive yourself of it, you're going to keep dropping innuendo in camera and I'll be forced to
dismiss you. It's a liability, Bella."

"What if I die?" I whispered, wide-eyed.

"What are you, nine years old? Do a couple of shots of vodka and take one for the team, Swan.
Your job depends on it." She slammed her fist down on the table and stared me straight in the

eyes. "All of our jobs depend on it."

I nodded.

"Can you do it?" She was challenging me.

"Yeah. I can do it." I glared back.

Rose's mouth puckered and she nodded once. "Good. Now, get out of here. Go shave your legs.
Get your bits waxed. Buy a new bra and some liquor. I expect that you'll show up to work

tomorrow in a better…head…space. Got it?"

I stood to my feet, feeling like a soldier preparing for war. "Got it."

"Be careful," Angela squeaked.

Giving a small salute, I stared at her solemnly. "Always." Turning on my heels I headed towards
the door, pausing and looking over my shoulder gravely. "If I'm not here tomorrow, tell my parents
that I love them. And I'm requesting a closed casket; because if I die being impaled by...that…then

I am sure the outcome won't be pretty."

Rose chuckled. "Out. Come. Nice one."

Angela buried her face in her hands and laughed, and the sound of their perverted encouragement
was all I needed to prepare myself to complete my assignment. I would apologize to Edward. And

then I would attempt to seduce him.

I had never been more terrified of taking one for the team.

Chapter 6: Egg Sandwiches for the Sex Starved Soul

EPOV

I sat in my room, my feet crossed and propped on my desk with my Mac on my lap. A pen was
shoved in between my teeth while I looked over James' footage from earlier. We'd found a subject
to do our documentary on, and James had spent the last few days doing some minor camera work

so I told him that I would look over the footage to see what we could start with.

Adjusting my glasses on my nose, I moved a frame out of the project and tried to seam the ones
before and after it. I hummed along with the music from my iTunes as I did some fine-tuning of
the film. James had spent the day with Laurent, our homeless subject. He'd been shadowing him
as well as asking some questions about how he'd gotten into his situation as well as how he
survived.

Laurent was a subject that we'd talk diligently about for a while, because he lived in the alley just
beyond our condo. We'd been passing by him since we'd moved in, and he'd had a draw to him

that we both experienced. And what had shocked us the most was that he didn't want any help.

He chose to be a vagrant.

I chewed on my pen as I worked, listening as the music drifted out of my speakers.

If you're sitting comfortably then let me begin.
I want to tell you a tale about the mess that I'm in.
And it all starts with a girl.
And she's breaking up my whole world.

My mind began to drift towards Bella and I had to take a moment to close my eyes as the strange
feeling of rejection settled into my chest.

She's got these big green eyes, and they're as wide as the moon.
They can take you to bed without you leavin' the room.
I would kill just to be her man,

but she's too cool to give a damn.

The entire situation at the park had left me reeling, and not in the good way I had been thinking it

would.

She makes me feel like a king,
she makes me feel like a freak
She plays on me because she knows that I'm weak

And she knows just what to say, just to brighten up my day.

She'd been so close…so ready. And then, she freaked out and made me feel like there was
something wrong with me. If I were anyone else, that may have made me become defensive and

angry towards her, but that just wasn't me.

So now I'm feeling sick,
and she's still having fun
I guess she thinks that I'm thick, or maybe a little dumb
But it makes no use to me,
I'm a fool for misery.

And now people were staring at my crotch at work and that could only lead me to believe that she
had ended up telling people what happened, which seemed really out of character for her, but if I

was being honest with myself: I didn't really know her at all.

I'm falling in love for the last time

I'm falling in love forever and ever.

Yet, I felt like I'd known her my whole damn life.

Falling in love with a girl that ain't mine

Pulling my glasses off, I laid them on the desk and pressed my pointer finger and thumb onto the
bridge of my nose, while I mulled over what could have possibly gone wrong. I wasn't a physical
anomaly or anything. She had to have been making it up just so she could get away from me, and
that hurt worse than anything else.

I placed my Macbook on the desk and stood up to stretch, gazing at my Morgan Spurlock poster. It
was on the inside of my open closet door. He was staring at me with that surprised look and a
mouthful of French fries, and I nodded to myself. I needed to remember why I took the job at the

station to begin with. Bella was just the icing on the cake to a good situation. She was not the
reason I had started there.

And she would not be the reason that I left, either.

My mind was made up.

She would never be mine.

"Uh…Mase?"

I turned towards my closed bedroom door at the sound of James' voice. "Yeah?" I called loudly.

He cleared his throat and I heard him press his face into the space where the door met the frame.
"You have a…guest."

"Shut up, dude. If I open that door and you've farted, I'm gonna be pissed." I shook my head. How
many times did he think I was going to fall for that same joke?

"No, you seriously have a guest at the door. She's waiting in the kitchen with V."

She?

"She?" I cracked the door open and he stumbled forward a bit with the release of the door.

"Yeah. She. You know, the hot news chick you work with?" He smiled wide and double pumped his

eyebrows, like a perverted weirdo.

"Bella?" I asked before I could think to not say her name out loud.

He snapped his fingers. "That one. Yep. She's a lil'," he made a motion with his hand to mime that

she was drunk.

Perfect.

I opened the door and poked my head out to look into the kitchen, and sure enough, there she
was. My heart stuttered a bit and I frowned. Why would she be here? And how did she know where

I lived?

James patted me on the shoulder and whistled lowly. "Are you gonna hit that tonight?"

"You're an idiot," I reprimanded him. Clearly she was not interested in sleeping with me. Maybe
she was just here to talk to me about work. Or apologize for telling people that I had a midget in
my pants.

I slipped around James and walked slowly towards the kitchen, so as not to startle her as she was
talking to Victoria. Bella was leaning against the refrigerator and had a lock of Victoria's red hair

curled around one of her fingers as she smiled happily.

"Your hair is so pretty," she slurred.

Victoria giggled and pulled a handful of granola out of the container she had in her hands.

Wonderful. Vicki was high and Bella was inebriated.

"Bella?" I called to her and her head swiveled in my direction. Her eyes swam for a moment before

landing solely on me and she smiled, letting Victoria's hair fall and bob back into place.

"Wang," she breathed and pushed away from the fridge.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, keeping my distance from her.

She blinked a couple of times and licked her lips quickly. "I wanted to talk to you. About Saturday

and today. Is that okay?"

My head was telling me that something was off about the entire scenario, but my heart really
wanted to let her have her say. So I simply nodded and turned, waving my hand for her to follow
me back to my room. Once I was inside, I walked around quickly, picking up stray pieces of

clothing off of the floor and putting them into my hamper.

She stepped into my bedroom and I heard her come to rest in front of my bed. Turning towards
her, I tried to figure out what she was looking at with such wide eyes. Following her gaze, I landed
on my music collection that was stacked amongst my favorite books and my prized collection of

movies.

Oh, sure, she was impressed with the size of that.

"You're a nerd," she blurted out, before wincing and snapping her mouth shut.

I laughed and shoved my hands into my pockets. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"But you're so hot. How can you be a nerd and still be as hot and confident and manly…as you

are?"

Settling onto my computer chair I looked at her like she was crazy. "I have no idea what you're

talking about. I've never claimed to be any of those things that you just named."

She tilted her head and looked me over for a second before she sat down on my bed to face me.

"You don't have to say that you're any of those things. You just are."

I leaned back into the chair and crossed my arms, staring at her and trying not to be affected by
her presence. "Why are you here, Bella? You made it clear that you don't want to have anything to

do with me. You don't have to explain anything…I heard you loud and clear."

A flush was sweeping up her neck and she dropped her eyes to my comforter, letting her hand run
over the material. "I didn't run away from…just that, Edward." She muttered something

imperceptible under her breath.

"What, then?" I asked, unsure of whether or not I should go to her. A part of me legitimately

thought she would run away again.

"It's a lot of things." Her face turned upwards again but her eyes landed on some of my equipment.

"Is that your camera?" She asked suddenly, slipping off of the bed and holding herself steady.

"Yeah," I looked over at the camcorder. "You should probably steer clear of it seeing as how you're

obliterated."

Bella gave me a dirty look, like she was insulted. "I am not." Almost tripping over my feet, she
headed for the camera. My fingers itched to stop her but I just sat still and watched her take the
camera in her hands. She flipped the viewer open and turned the power on before angling the lens
towards me. "Mr. Masen…you should really consider a future in television. The camera really likes
you."

I leaned back and rested my hands behind my head. "Does it?"

"Oh, very much. You're very pretty."

"Pretty. Thanks." I rolled my eyes and pushed down another laugh. "Why are you here, Bella?"

She sighed and placed the video camera on the bookshelf. Allowing herself a moment, she fiddled
with the viewer and stepped back to smile into the lens. "Do you know why I wanted to be an
anchor, Edward?"

"No."

"My dream is to do reporting for a national affiliate. I'd love to be on 20/20 or Dateline." She
pretended to hold up a microphone. "Instead of Maureen Maher talking about sadistic killers, I
want it to be me." She sighed and turned back to look at me, cautiously. "I'm fascinated by that
stuff. I always have been."

"Really?" It wasn't something I would have assumed about her.

She nodded excitedly and climbed back onto my bed. "Oh, yeah. The Black Dahlia? Jack the
Ripper? Or…Karla Homolka. I actually belong to a website that follows her online to see where she
is. A female serial killer…part of a couple…one who does whatever it takes in order to make her
man love her, even if it meant killing her own sister. Fascinating. You should see my bookshelves
at home: True crime everywhere." Her hand waved off to her side as if to say that she lived in a

sea of grisly murder literature.

I leaned forward and planted my elbows on my knees.

She blinked a little and grimaced. "But, I'll never get where I need to be if I keep screwing up on

the news, Edward." Her mouth opened a little and she laughed. "I need to have sex with you."

Suddenly she didn't sound quite as drunk as she had before.

It would be a straight lie if I said that I didn't have an immediate reaction to that sentence, but I
was also a little confused. "I don't understand. You need to have sex with me? Why?"

Bella looked thoughtful. "Because if I don't, if we don't, then I'll keep thinking about 'what if' and it
will be the only thing I think about and every time you're behind the camera. I will be thinking

about us in the woods and what could have been…"

I held out my hand to stop her. "You need to have sex with me…for your career?"

She looked terrified. "Yes."

"No."

Bella's mouth fell open in surprise. "What? Why not?"

I stood up and walked towards the door. "I don't want to have sex with you just so that you can
scratch your curious itch, Bella." It was unbelievable that she was even thinking about this. "I'm

going to make you something to eat so that you can sober up."

8==========================================D

She finished the egg sandwich in silence, sitting on my bed and looking through a magazine. It
didn't upset me that she was leaving crumbs everywhere. I just wanted her to sober up so that she
could get a cab home and get some rest. Taking a swig of the orange juice I had poured for her,

she looked up at me shyly.

"Thank you. It was delicious."

"You're welcome." I reached over and grabbed her plate and the remainder of her juice. Without
even thinking, I swigged the rest of it and made my way to the door. "Another twenty minutes and

you should be okay to leave."

She looked so dejected.

I put the dishes away and headed back into my room, surprised to see that she was now sitting on
the edge of my bed, chewing her lip and looking at the ends of her hair. Sitting back in my chair, I
swiveled around to face her and planted my legs outside of hers. She looked up and I could have

sworn I saw fear in her eyes.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to coax her into telling me what she was thinking.

"I don't know how to explain it."

"Try."

She nodded. "I lied."

"About what?" I asked; placing my hands on hers to stop her from picking at her split ends.

"About needing to be with you for my job." She shut her eyes tight and sighed. "I'm scared to be
with you. So I made shit up about you being freakishly huge." Her eyes popped open. "Not that

you aren't, but…that wouldn't have stopped me from sleeping with you."

My heart stuttered a bit and I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I like you, Edward. A lot. Like, more than I think I've liked someone…anyone else, before. And I'm
afraid. Afraid to fall for you. Afraid that we could do this and it would be horrible and then I'd lose
you as a friend and one of the only confidants I have at the station. Afraid that I want you more

than you want me…" Her eyes looked so saddened by her last confession.

"And what if I want you just as much? Or more?" I asked, my defenses shattering as I stared into

her eyes.

"What if the entire thing is in our heads?"

"Huh?"

She held her hands up helplessly. "Okay, it's like…when Ross got his monkey on F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Remember?" Her face tightened as she tried to explain. "How awesome was that monkey? He was
so damn cute and tiny and he was a little hairy man-baby thing. And I know I personally wanted
one. But think about it. If I'd gotten a monkey, it would have eaten my shoes and shit in my
dresser and it would have turned against me at some point and tried to nom on my face and then
I'd have been disfigured all because I thought this monkey was cute and wanted one but it was a

really, really bad idea because I'm not meant to have a monkey…"

Her breath was coming in panicked spurts and she was wild-eyed, freaking herself out with all of
the stuff in her head. And I knew what she was trying to say, because falling for someone was
scary, but believing that you just weren't meant to have it at all was something completely

different.

"Bella," I said evenly, trying to get her to calm down. She blinked rapidly and took in a deep
breath, pleading with her eyes for me to understand.

And I did understand.

So I did what I had wanted to do from the first day I saw her. I leaned in and took her cheeks in
my hands and kissed her on my bed. I kissed her sweetly, and with purpose. It wasn't just to shut

her up; it was to prove that she was wrong.

Her hands rested against my elbows and I felt them travel up my arms to my shoulders, sweeping
in to my neck and around to the back of my head as she relaxed and inched closer to me. I pulled
the chair in until it was resting against her knees and she let out a breathy sigh. Pulling my face

from hers, I ran my nose across her cheek and up to press a kiss against her forehead.

"You definitely deserve a monkey, Bella."

She laughed, quick and sharp, her fingers tightening in my hair and her shoulders bobbing with the
movement. The chuckle turned into a fit of giggles and before I knew it, she was pulling me to her
as she gasped for air and tightened her hold on my neck, effectively pulling me from my seat and
over her as she settled onto my comforter. Bella looked up into my eyes and smiled, so shy and
bright, but tinged with worry, and I wanted to wipe that look from her face. Whether with words, or

actions, or kisses.

Whatever it would take, I would do.

"Why do you like me, Edward Masen?" She whispered and ran a fingertip over the shell of my ear,

causing my chest to explode in goose bumps.

I smiled slightly, looking deeply into her eyes. "Because you … are not what people expect. You're
funny and silly, and yet you'd do anything for your job. And you're smart." I raised my eyebrows a

little. "Plus you kiss really, really well."

She smirked. "Do I?"

I nodded and dropped my face to run my lips across hers again, feather-light. She shifted and
pushed herself up towards the headboard, just barely missing my face with her knee. Settling
against my pillow, she looked down at me, silently inviting me with her gaze, and licking her lower

lip quickly.

I didn't need another invitation as I stared at her: Bella Swan, on my bed. No longer crazy drunk.
She was simply lying on my bed in her jeans and a black t-shirt that was pulling and wrinkling in
between her breasts, it was pulled so tight. And it had ridden up a bit to reveal the milky flesh of
her stomach; the soft skin calling to me sweetly, inviting me to lick and taste; to nip and touch

with my hands.

Slowly, I pulled each of her shoes from her feet and slid my fingers up the leg of her jeans to
remove her socks one at a time. Her feet shifted a little when they were gone and I let my hands
remain on her calves, outside of the jeans while I crawled my way up her body, sliding fingers over

denim as I did, looking her in the face the entire way.

She didn't flinch. She didn't make any move to escape. She wanted this and so did I.

And tonight we would have it.

Chapter 7: Vagazzled

BPOV

I felt like such an idiot, but the alcohol had made the edges of all of my thoughts kind of fuzzy, and
it also made my toes numb and my legs feel a little heavier. I was in much better shape than when

I'd first arrived, and after I realized that I was telling Edward half truths and lies, I hated the fact
that I had allowed myself to be so vulnerable and put into this position in the first place.

Speaking of positions.

Edward was inching his way up my lower body, his hands sliding deftly over my jeans as he came
closer and his knees slid in between my legs, parting my thighs as they went. He was staring at my
body like he was trying not to lose his cool and attack me. It made me shiver to think that he was

probably capable of ripping my panties off with his teeth.

Geeks watch a lot of internet porn, right?

I was lost in my mental void, wondering if he would like it if I called him Obi Wan and told him he
was my only hope. But before I could fully imagine myself with cinnamon buns on each side of my
head, Edward was face to face with me and holding himself over my body, his arms resting by my

shoulders as he gazed into my eyes.

No more words. I didn't want to talk anymore. I really, really wanted to kiss Edward. And I

seriously wanted to see him in all of his naked glory.

His face lowered to mine and I closed my eyes as our lips met again. These kisses were sweet and
slow, every inch of his mouth was on mine, encasing my lower lip as he sucked and nibbled gently
before flicking his tongue out to softly lave it over the throbbing spot. It sent electricity straight
into my jeans, and with his knees pressing so firmly in between my thighs, I was thankful to have

some resistance to push against.

Shaky hands slid up his hips and beneath his t-shirt, caressing the supple skin of his stomach and
higher until I brushed my fingertips over his nipples. He sucked in a sharp breath and chuckled
when I did it again. It was exciting, knowing that I was the one who was making him pant and hiss
as my hands roamed freely up his chest beneath his shirt. With a nudge, he sat back and reached
behind him to grasp the cotton and pull it over his head.

My eyes almost crossed being that close to him…shirtless. His lean muscles were flexing as he
threw the shirt onto the floor, and I stared openly at his stomach. It was flat and defined, his abs
cut and sleek, leading my gaze to travel down to where the party disappeared into his pants.

"Mph," I kind of whined.

He leaned down to me and ran his knuckles across my cheek. "Okay?"

"Better than okay," I nodded excitedly. "You're perfect."

Edward chuckled again and craned his neck to apply a soft kiss to my throat. My brain was fritzing
again and I desperately wanted to get him undressed now that I had talked myself into this
actually happening. I couldn't get his shorts open fast enough and my fingers were fumbling

against his button and zipper like a high school freshman at Winter Formal.

He opened his mouth against my neck and I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt his teeth lightly
scrape against the now moist skin before his tongue darted out and tasted me there. My senses
were working overtime, trying to touch as much of him as I could while drowning myself in his
scent and attempting to taste his shoulder as I kissed up and down the curve of his neck.

"Edward…" I sounded so needy, but the truth was that it was just that: I needed this.

His hips lifted a bit and I got his button and zipper undone to try and shift them down and over his
hips. His hands kneaded and pulled at my shirt and as soon as I was sure his shorts were low
enough for him to wiggle out of, I sat up and lifted my arms, giving an unsure smile as he gazed

down on me and slowly pulled my shirt over my head.

His eyes glazed over and he smirked. "I love that bra…"

I looked down in confusion. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You wore it the first day we met and I saw it under your suit jacket." He swallowed thickly

and ran one long finger across the edge of the lace over my left breast.

Instantly, I felt a flood of liquid drench my panties.

The way he was curved into me made seeing his body virtually impossible, and when he dipped his
face to nestle his nose in my cleavage, I whimpered. His kisses were soft and his hands pressed
the sides of the bra inward, presenting my leopard covered ladies to him fully. He buried his face
between them and my head lolled back into the headboard when his tongue swept slowly over the

swell of both.

Fisting his hair in my hand, I wiggled beneath him and pressed his face more forcefully there. My
body was flushed hot with excitement and want, need and little sparks of pleasure. And I had to
stop myself from just reaching between us to fist his joy stick and win a nice game of Pac Man.

Come on. White dots?

Jeebus.

And then suddenly I felt his hands running along the expanse of skin over my ribs and around my
back to unhook my bra and I had to lean forward into him more and I felt…it…poke me in the belly

button.

My lips disentangled from his and I looked up in shock, panting for air.

"What?" He looked so alarmed.

I shook my head. "Nothing. Just…I want to see you."

His eyes softened and he kissed me once more, his lips pulling on mine as his body moved away to
stop crowding me into the headboard. I held my eyes shut for a moment until I felt his mouth

release mine and slowly…slowly… I opened them and inhaled a lungful of much needed air.

Sliding my legs over the side of the bed, I stood with shaky thighs, staring at him lying before me,
completely nude and every inch of him beautiful. I was topless and somehow the top button on my
jeans had come undone. And as I took him in, inch by cocky inch, I smiled. My fingers rested on
the waistband of my jeans and I held his eye contact as I let the teeth on my zipper release slowly,

noting how his eyes followed the movement, entranced.

I'm not sure if it was the remaining effects of the liquor, or the way he was looking at me, or how
incredible he was propped up on the bed on his elbows. Maybe it was the way his long legs were
bent a little and how the divots in his pelvis only accentuated his thick cock, or the playful sparkle
in his eyes as I dipped my thumbs into my panties. Whatever it was, I was lost in a fog of lust and

felt more brazen and empowered than I had in my entire life.

I cocked a brow coyly and slipped the denim and underwear down my legs with one push and then
placed my hands on my hips as I kicked them off of my legs, posing before him in all of my naked

glory.

"What the hell is that?" He asked, sitting straight up, frowning in confusion.

Quickly, I looked down at where his face was hovering just an inch in front of my lady bits.

"Oh." It was all I could manage out. In my drunken haze I had forgotten about my outing earlier in
the day.

Too late now.

"I got Vagazzled."

His eyebrows shot straight up and he stared at me with an open mouth. "A what?"

Pointing to the rhinestones on my Coon Box, I shrugged. "Vagazzled. I went to get waxed but got
scared and the girl said that she could do some 'landscaping' down there and make it sparkly.
She'd already given me a couple of shots of vodka, and I'm pretty sure I just wanted to get it to
look pretty for you, and Rose had told me to take the rest of the day off to get some stuff done, so

I ended up with this…" My words trailed off and I suddenly felt really stupid.

Edward's eyes narrowed and he leaned in again. "What is it?"

I tilted my head and let my fingers run over the jewels. "Guess it depends on which way you're
looking at it. From this angle, it's an 'M'." Shifting my pelvis towards the lamplight coming from the
corner I pursed my lips. "From where you're sitting, it's a 'W'." I lifted my eyes to him and blushed.
"I figured no matter which way you turned me you'd see Wang or Masen."

"Holy shit," he hissed and brushed his knuckles across his erection. "That's the sexiest thing

anyone has ever done for me."

"Really?" I laughed, feeling less embarrassed by the brash gesture.

Instead of answering, he gripped my hips and jerked me towards his face, placing a hungry kiss
over my mound. My fingers dug into his scalp and my back arched into him while my eyes slid
closed. His right hand trailed across my thigh and around towards my cheek, caressing it softly
before sliding lower. Long fingers curled around my kneecap and I swayed a bit when he lifted my

leg, pushing my thighs apart and planting my foot on his bed.

His mouth was instantly on me, tongue darting out timidly at first until I pulled on his hair and
leaned my head against the wall for support. It was a precarious position, but his hold on me was
strong. I watched in awe as his face shifted even deeper into me and his tongue ran a wide circle

around my clit, making my knees shake.

My hips flexed towards him and I slapped the wall with an open palm, whispering his name and
reveling in the feeling of actually being touched like I meant something to someone. It was passion

and warmth, and hands that actually knew what they were doing.

And that's when his thumb slid in between my lips and pressed firmly against my clit.

"God…nomygohd," I screamed. My head hit against the wall harshly and I fisted his hair again. He
looked up at me, his pink lips slyly pulled upwards as he continued to circle the nub forcefully. My
legs were threatening to give out and I shook, watching helplessly as he released my thigh and set
his other hand to work, sliding two fingers of his other hand against my entrance, applying the
slightest amount of pressure before delving in effortlessly and twisting, just to curl in and hit my g-
spot. The thumb on my clit slowed and his other four fingers crept upwards to press on the outside
of my bedazzled Muff box, and he pressed in as the fingers inside pressed out and I lost my air.

Both of my hands were slapping the wall now as I wailed, head thrown back and legs giving out
under the sheer ecstasy of the orgasm he had just ripped from me. I hadn't even really had time to
feel the heat and coil, or heavy apprehension that I usually got when I was by myself. It had

happened so quickly that I didn't even know…to be blunt…what was coming.

My legs gave out and I slid against the wall to the floor, my knees buckling and folding inwards as I

hit the floor.

"Bella," he whispered with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Okay?" I laughed lightly at first and pressed my palms to my eyelids. "Epic understatement of the

year, Mr. Masen."

His hands were around my calves and he pulled me across the carpet towards him, bending once I
was close enough to lift my languid form against him. I slumped into his chest and closed my eyes,
relishing the moment as my body began to come down from my high. His palms squeezed and

worked across my scalp, tilting my head up to allow his mouth to find mine again.

I sighed when his tongue flicked out and slid over my own, the warmth of his breath and the wet of
his lips intermingling with the remnants of my arousal on his mouth and chin. And suddenly, I was
pushing him back and straddling his hips, feeling his dick pressing in between my cheeks and

settling against my spine before I looked into his eyes and lifted his hands to my breasts.

A slight glimmer of light caught my eye and I giggled as I leaned down to retrieve one of the
Vagazzle crystals from his cheek. He chuckled and watched as I flicked it across the room. "Just a

little something to remind you of tonight," I joked.

He ran his thumbs across my nipples and bit his lip. "I'll remember this, Bella."

My entire body shuddered and while he pulled and massaged my breasts, I moved one hand to his
thigh, allowing the other to slip behind my back and grip onto his massive member. He closed his

eyes and squeezed me tighter, his hips lifting a bit as I twisted my grip and slid my hand upwards.

Suddenly his eyes flew open and he reluctantly pulled his hands from my chest. "Umm, how do you

want to do this?"

I cocked my head to the side and let my hand pump him again. "Huh?"

He winced. "You've got me all freaking out and thinking that I'm going to hurt you. And I can't

think of one position that you'll be comfortable in."

Well, Hell. I hadn't given it much thought.

Clearly he had, though. And I wondered exactly how many positions he knew about. I mean,

honestly, isn't everything just a variation of the same three standard ones?

I certainly didn't want him thinking I was Missionary Mary…

"Just like this," I murmured, running my hand over him again. He nodded and lowered his hands to
my hips to lift me up and suddenly I was over him, his cock at my entrance and I stared at him

wide-eyed, fear and panic suddenly hitting me right before he lowered me down.

How was I going to do this? A Pringles can would never ever fit inside of me, and here I was about
to be impaled. Instead of giving birth, I was going to have something the size of a newborn shoved
up inside of me and I wasn't sure if I had actually thought the entire thing through.

I tensed and held my breath, digging my fingernails into his arms as he held me steady. "Wait," I
squeaked, my eyes clenched tight and my lips pressed together. "I don't know, Edward. I'm

serious."

His face twisted in part agony and part disbelief. "Relax. I swear, if you just relax…"

My hands dug deeper into his flesh and I blinked furiously. I was going to die. No amount of

foreplay in the world could prepare me for what was about to happen, and yet…

I felt him lower me slowly, the tip grazing my entrance before pressing into me and slipping in just
slightly. I lost my breath and my eyes flew open, staring directly into his while I dropped lower

onto his shaft.

"See?" He asked, encouraging me with a soft smile and clenched jaw.

Oh, no…maybe my vag is huge?

Choking in a ragged breath, I bit my lip and slid a little lower, noting how tense my arms and
stomach were as I adjusted to him entering me. It was pain and pleasure and a hundred different
emotions and feelings coursing through my body and suddenly, I closed my eyes, letting my head
fall forward as I inched lower and lower until there was no more room for either of us and I was

flush with his pelvis, shaking and trembling above him.

My knees settled onto the mattress and I allowed my weight down onto him, and whimpered as I
relaxed my muscles. It was amazing…no other word to describe it. Every last doubt and fear that I
had conjured up in my head went out the window when I allowed myself to experience this
moment. It was unlike anything else I'd ever known…My body and his body, fully immersed in each

other and fitting perfectly like a hand in a glove.

Every last part of me was filled by him and I let go of every preconceived notion I had about being

with this man.

His hand on my abdomen pulled me from my reverie and I gazed down at his face, his eyes wide

and his mouth pulled tight. "Okay, Bella...You have to move."

Oops.

I nodded, dazed and a little out of sorts. Lifting myself up with my knees, I moaned, feeling him
slide inside of me, out and then back in, rocking my hips forward as I settled again. It was quiet
other than the sounds of our bodies connecting, the wet, slick sounds of us…moaning and
breathing heavily, skin over skin and fingers digging into one another so viciously I half hoped I

would be bruised from it.

Maybe there was music? I didn't care.

We stayed this way for a few minutes until he rolled his hips and we tumbled to our sides, his hold
on my waist so tight that I rolled effortlessly with him, and he settled my calf on his hip. We faced
each other and his hands cradled my face, his mouth attacking mine as his hips shifted back and
into me over and over again. I felt the growing weight in my abdomen this time and I moaned
loudly as I clutched to him, one hand in his hair and the other on his bicep.

It was so intimate and I could feel every part of his body; in me, around me, against me, below
me. I'd never been so close with a man before and I could barely register my thoughts as we

kissed and moved effortlessly.

Our hips were rolling quickly, feverishly as we kissed, tongues intermingling and grunts or moans
spilling from our mouths in between our open lips. My entire body was attuned to his movements,

how he held me, the connection of our skin and limbs entangled.

"You…are so good," he choked out and gripped my hair in between his fingers, holding the strands

taut as he began to move faster. "So beautiful, Bella…God, I wanted you so much…"

And his words sent my heart soaring, my eyes open and watching his face as the warmth gathered
in my abdomen and my breath grew almost nonexistent before I tensed and felt my whole body go
rigid. And I called his name, my eyes closed and cheek pressed to his chin as I came forcefully and
recklessly, writhing against him and pulling him to me, my calf wrapped around his ass and my lips

chanting inaudible words that only made sense to me.

He held the back of my head and his pumping became erratic and sharp, punctuated by throaty
moans, and then he simply whispered my name once, low and breathy as he jerked into me and
sighed. He slowly stilled and wrapped me in his embrace, and I felt, for the first time, like I had

someone.

It wasn't for my career. It wasn't for anyone but me. I hadn't been touched like that…ever. I'd
certainly never experienced a connection like that with anyone. And I'd never, ever, in my entire

existence, felt so right about something.

Edward was my glass half full.

Eventually, his grip on me lessened and he rolled back a bit to look up into my eyes. And I saw it,

then: He felt it too. He looked peaceful and content, and not just sexually satisfied.

"Stay with me tonight?" He asked, his voice husky from the exertion.

I sighed and smiled lazily. "Absolutely."

Edward rolled away, pulling from me achingly slow, leaving me empty, and stood to grab a towel
from his closet, cleaning off and offering me the chance to do the same. Wordlessly, I did and then
climbed up under his covers, snuggling into sheets that smelled like him.

He turned off all of the lights and crawled under the covers beside me, wrapping a strong arm over
my chest to pull me close. Edward kissed my head sweetly and murmured good night, tightening
his grip and settling my back into his chest.

And just before I fell asleep, I had the happy thought that maybe things would work out between
us after all.

A/N: Oy. When a pessimist becomes an optimist, things are sure to be on the up and up,

right? (Shakes head 'no'.)

Answers to your Q's beloooow.

Q1: Was the camera still on?

A1: Uh, mehbeh. It's called 'plot development' or 'plot points'.

Q2: Is Bella really using him?

A2: I think her last thoughts in his chapter should clear that up.

Q3: Does Bella have some deep seeded reason that she is destructive in her relationships

and chooses men that she doesn't care about?

A3: This is my fluff story. Nothing is psychologically mysterious here.

Q4: Egg salad sandwich?

A4: Nooes. Breakfast sammy. Fried egg. Maybe cheese.

Q5: Rugburn?

A5: Yes.

8: Lights, Camera...Sack-tion

BPOV

I awoke slowly, flexing my toes a little and tugging on the pillow as I turned over. My eyes opened
a crack and I mentally checked myself. Hips? Fine. Thighs? A little sore but fine. Bedazzled Muff

Box?

I shimmied a bit and winced when one of the rhinestones snagged on the sheet.

Probably gonna have to replace those. They were, like, twelve thread count anyway.

"Are you still in one piece?" Edward's teasing caused me to lift my head to see he was watching me
with a grin from behind his laptop.

"Why are you over there and not here?" I asked with a raspy voice, patting the comforter with my
hand. "Were you trying to make me feel abandoned after our torrid affair?"

He chuckled and ran his hands through his hair and over his face. "No." He stretched then, his long
arms spreading open to give me a full view of his chest. I shut my mouth to contain my drool.

"Do I smell, then?" I asked, giving him a face and plopping back down onto the pillow.

I watched from the corner of my eye as he placed his laptop back on the desk and shook his head
before crawling back into the bed with me. "Your hair takes up seventy percent of my pillow space,

but, no…you don't smell."

I lifted a hand curiously to the top of my head.

Freakin' A. I had Carrot Top head.

This most likely meant that I had raccoon eyes and a nice drool stain on my cheek, too. I resisted

the urge to check the pillow for a wet spot.

"I guess you'll be kicking me out now that you know what I look like in the morning." I closed my
eyes and tried not to actually die in his bed of embarrassment. If I died, he would have to clean up

my shit and piss, too. And probably some egg-sandwich-vodka vomit.

Not that he hadn't been in that position before.

I smiled a little at the thought of him in his overalls.

"What are you smirking at?" he asked, amused.

"You in overalls."

"I can put them on if you'd like."

I sat up a little and glared at him. "No thanks." A snort sounded from my mouth and I slapped my

hand to my face.

He just grinned wider. "I think you're pretty adorable all messy and properly screwed."

My thighs tensed as the word slipped from between his lips. I was properly screwed, indeed.

"I got up and made some egg muffins." He looked a little shy when he said it and it made me want
to lick his face. "It's my Mom's recipe…it's just eggs, cheese and meat scrambled up in a muffin
pan."

"Well aren't you just the Renaissance Man?"

He lifted a brow. "Oh, I think you saw how talented I was last night…"

I couldn't hold back my laughter now. "Wow. You sure are a cocky bastard."

He winked.

"Oh, whatever. It wasn't that impressive."

Edward narrowed his eyes. "What was that?"

"I said…I made a bigger deal out of it than…it…was." I sat up and gave an apologetic shrug.
"Perhaps I have more of an imagination than I thought?" Gesturing towards his lower half, "It
wasn't anything to brag about…"

He was on me in a flash, straddling my stomach and shaking his head. "You were singing a whole
different song just a few short hours ago." His hands captured my wrists and held them above my

head against the pillow. "Perhaps you need me to jog your memory?"

Mmm. Morning sex. My favorite. I was pretty sure that morning sex with this man would be epic…

"Oh, shit. I was just kidding," I yelled suddenly when my stomach tightened and a wave of intense

pain hit my abdomen. "Please, I was joking. You seriously have to get off of me before I get sick."

Edward looked worried and shifted up to let me crawl out from under his legs. I unraveled myself
as much as possible and sprinted awkwardly to the bathroom, yanking the sheet after me before
slamming the door behind me. Frantic, I pressed my thighs together and took a deep breath while

I flipped on the light and fan and checked for Febreze or something.

Because last night's vodka had given me this morning's liquor shits.

How embarrassing could this get? My first time in this man's apartment and I was about to leave
half of my intestines in his bowl. If I could have flushed myself, I would have. Then I could have
ended up doing the Go Ninja dance with Splinter and Leonardo in the sewers instead of worrying

about the toxic waste my body was about to kill Wang with.

I turned on the water in the sink to try and erase some of the noise and prayed to God that he'd let

me be quiet.

Clearly God did not think that asking for favors after pre-marital sex warranted an answer.

I should have shoved a towel under the door. I should have lit a match, but I had none. Maybe I
could light the sheet on fire? It wasn't that great of a sheet anyway…Oh! Myself. I could light

myself on fire. That would cover up what was happening in here.

Trying my best to clench my cheeks, I lost out on the fight and the sounds ripping from my body

made me die a little inside.

Well, it was nice while it lasted. At least I got properly sexed up for once in my life…

Feeling sweaty and sick, but actually a little better once the stomach cramps had passed, I
continued with my 'courtesy flushing'…it was probably my third or fourth, who knows…and I

scoured his cabinets for anything that I could use to help cover up the stench.

Mouth wash…I could pour it on the floor. That would work.

Rummaging more, I came across some body spray, but it was his and that would be a little creepy
to walk back into the room like, 'Hey, big boy. I wanted to smell like you. Let's go again'.

"Gross," I muttered and moved some more things around.

"Bella?" Edward knocked on the door and I looked over my shoulder, terrified that he would open it

on me.

"Yeah?"

He cleared his throat. "Are…are you okay?"

"Fine!" I called, trying to sound chipper. "Just…uh…thinking about taking a shower…"

"Oh. Do you want me to join you?"

"NO!" I clapped my hand over my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut tightly. "So stupid," I
whispered. "I was just going to jump in really fast. Not enough time to really…umm…do anything

before I have to leave." My voice trailed off as I yelled the last sentence.

He must think I don't want to have sex with him again. Dammit. That was not the case. I just
didn't want him in my Bog of Eternal Stench.

"Okay." He sounded hurt. "Well, the muffins are done whenever you are."

I listened as he stepped away from the door and I hung my head at my idiocy. It would just be
terrible to open the door to see him standing there and him be hit with a wall of Bella Musk…black
out and fall to his death out of the window…

"The window…" I hissed and looked above the toilet. If I opened that and let it air out while I
showered, it would help. I mean, nothing is worse than taking a dump and adding warm, damp air

to the room. After a moment of struggle, I got the window cracked and shed myself of the sheet.

And that's when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

"Oh, holy Moses…" My eyes looked back at me accusingly. My hair was one huge dreadlock on my
head. My eyes were completely streaked with eyeliner and flakes of mascara. There were little red
marks across my chest from Edward's mouth. And half of the Vagazzling had fallen off, mocking

me with a check mark.

As if my Muff were saying, "Good job!"

And he wanted to have sex with me again?

I shook my head and grabbed the mouthwash, pouring some in my mouth and whimpering from
the sting. Applying some toothpaste to my finger, I spit out the liquid and scrubbed at my fuzzy
teeth with my digit, hoping against hope that I wasn't going to smell like I ate trash last night once

I got out of the shower.

Once in the actual tub, I felt relaxed. The window was taking care of business and I was getting
clean. I took a moment to look around the basin and realized it was impeccably clean. No rings. No

spots. No caked up bits of soap in the dish holder.

A little OCD, are we, Wang?

Everything was manly in there. From his shampoo to his soap, I was going to smell like a straight
up dude today…A smile crept across my face. I was going to smell like Edward, today. And then I
was going to sit next to Tyler and he was going to get a big old whiff of Edward on me.

Essentially, I was just helping him to mark his territory.

The thought thrilled me. Last night had been better than I ever anticipated, really. He actually,
truly liked me and had told me so as I drifted off to sleep. He'd held me through the night, too. I
knew because I'd woken up multiple times forgetting where I was before I would feel his arms
around me and hear his deep breathing. And I was comfortable. Safe.

Rose may have had to push me in the direction of sleeping with him, but that was just because I
was afraid of making the move by myself. Edward could very well be exactly what I needed in my

life right now.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," I chastised as I finished rinsing and turned the water off. I ran my
hand over the shower wall and kicked the remaining water in the tub, along with the crystals I had
scrubbed off, towards the drain, suddenly afraid that I wouldn't leave his shower as perfect as it

had been before I got into it.

The cracked window had helped immensely and I set about wrapping my hair in a towel and
grabbing another one for my body. Which was when I realized that the only clothes I had from last
night were probably not fit to wear to work. The panties were definitely ruined. The bra would

do…the shirt would need to be inspected for any bodily fluids, though.

Edward was not in his room when I opened the door smelling like an Irish waterfall. I felt like I'd
done nothing but snoop around this morning, but I really needed to put some undies on, given the
recent beating my Coon had just had, along with the waxing and Vagazzling. Direct contact with
denim would have been a straight up 'no-no'.

So I set out to find some of his boxers or something to wear. Instead, I got a neatly folded drawer
full of boxer briefs. I'm pretty sure I moaned. He had one full drawer of those and another of
boxers. Throwing my towel off, I stepped into a pair of the snug fitting underwear, checking my

reflection out in the mirror.

Damn if it wasn't sexy. They sat right above my waist so I folded the top over and turned to check
out how great my ass looked in them, noting the pucker of the pouch in the front and wondering
how awesome it would be to have a detachable vag that I could pull through the hole to pee

instead of squatting on nasty public toilets…

A sharp gasp from the door startled me and I turned quickly to see Edward standing with the door
propped open with his foot and two plates of food in his hands. My head whipped around so fast
that the towel-turban on my head flopped to the side and slid down the side of my face, letting my

hair unravel over half of my face.

My hands immediately went to my breasts and I yelped when I realized that James was standing
right behind him with two glasses of juice. His eyes shifted up towards the ceiling and he turned his

face, puckering his lips and letting out an awkward whistle.

"I, uh…n-n-needed new undies. You know…because mine are ruined from last night and I showered
so putting old underwear back on wasn't a good idea so I figured I could just borrow some of yours
today." My mouth would not shut up. "I promise I don't, like, wear guy's clothes or anything kinky.
And I totally wasn't snooping in your drawers. I…umm…Uh…" My mouth finally ran out of idiotic

words and I held my breath waiting for him to speak.

"James?" Edward asked, clear as a bell.

"Yeah, Ed?" James was still looking away but I saw his eyes flick over to me quickly.

"I'll get the juice later." Edward let the door begin to close as he continued to stare at me. "I think
we're about to ruin a pair of my underwear."

My eyes widened and I felt my jaw go slack.

"Uh…okay," James' voice faded as the door closed in his face.

Edward looked hungry. But not for egg muffins.

More like: In Muff. Oh. See what I did there?

He set the plates on his dresser and turned back to face me, his eyes raking over my body and
darkening as he stared. "Come here," he said with a smirk. I took a step forward and he held out a
hand for me to take. Pulling me towards him, he hummed happily. "You look sexy in these. I might

have to buy a pack specifically for you."

My chest brushed against his abs and I whimpered. His hand slid into my wet locks of hair and he
tilted my face to look up at his. Even without make-up or styled hair, he looked at me like I was

the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. It made my heart flutter madly in my chest.

His unoccupied hand slipped slowly down my spine and dipped into the waistband of his skivvies,
rounding over my ass and slipping in between my cheeks. His mouth descended on mine and I
wrapped my arms around his neck, stretching up onto my toes as his fingers flexed against my

sensitive flesh.

"Are you feeling up for this?" he asked, concern apparent in his voice.

My eyes opened lazily as his middle finger traced the outskirts of my lips. "Yeah." My palm slid
down his side and around the front of his pajama pants, running up his length. "Looks like you are

too?"

He just nodded with a wicked glint in his eye. His weight shifted and he removed his hand from the
underwear, taking his thumbs and hooking them into the tops and pulling them down over my
thighs to step out of. I did the same for him and stood back when I'd gotten them low enough for

him to remove. My heart raced as I gazed down at his member and I went glassy eyed.

"You look pretty impressed now, Miss Swan," he chuckled and took a step forward. I took one
backwards and fell against his mattress, leaning back on my elbows and spreading my thighs.

"I just couldn't have you walking around with a big head, all day, Edward." I sighed when he
leaned in to kiss me again. "But if you must know, you're the most impressive I've ever seen."

"Ever?" he murmured against my lips and traced a thumb over my nipple.

I squeaked. "Yes. Ever."

"Hmmm, that's good." His mouth left mine in search of where his hand was busy pulling and
pinching. His warm mouth encased the peak and my head fell back, shifting my legs open even
more. And then his other hand was there and rubbing, fingers flicking and pinching until I was
panting his name and holding onto his hair so tightly he would look like he'd been wearing pigtails

overnight.

"Edward," I sighed and gave a shiver when his mouth released me with a soft pop. His hands found
mine in his hair and he lowered them between us, settling my palms around his shaft. I gasped,

wrapping my fingers around his solid base and squeezing gently.

"I really like your hands," he panted into my mouth and kissed me sweetly.

I laughed. "Do you like them more?"

His eyes looked into mine and he smirked. "Of course not. I just want to know what every part of

you feels like on me."

Oh, his way with words…

I paced myself, working him until I was squirming from the friction I was causing with my hands.
His mouth travelled everywhere it could while I was holding him in the position I had him in. And
finally…finally…I leaned back and pulled him towards me, lining him up with my entrance and

taking a deep breath before I pressed the tip into me.

His face softened and he held himself above me as he slid in slowly, sinking farther and farther in
as I lifted my hips to accept him. His hands gripped the comforter next to my head and he exhaled
long and slow, the veins in his neck beginning to bulge as I dug my fingers into his biceps.

This position was much different than the night before, and I tensed my calves as they pushed my
feet into the mattress and I felt my body resist him as much as it could before it had no choice but
to let him in. I heard my own choking moan as my pelvis dipped beneath his weight…and I could

have sworn that my hip bones shifted wider.

I was sore from the night before, but it didn't matter. Not right now. Because the look on his face

was making my heart swell and feel tight in my chest. As tight as my… Never mind.

Focusing on the feel of him, I closed my eyes and relaxed, letting him slide fully in and once I
found my breath again, I shifted my hips back slightly and bit my lip to stop from screaming.
Because it was the best feeling in the entire world. He rested his knees against the bed to secure

himself and dropped his face to mine, kissing me passionately as we moved together, effortlessly.

It wasn't slow or too fast. Not too rough or gentle. I'd never known the way it felt to be so sexually
in synch with a man, and suddenly I was a little pissed at myself for denying it for the weeks that I

had.

I could have been feeling this before now? Shame. On. Me.

Opening my eyes to look up into his face, I smiled against his lips because he had his lids closed
and the expression of complete ecstasy as his forehead creased and his mouth dropped open
slightly made me feel like I was a damn Sex Goddess. I kissed his mouth, small little kisses along

his plump lower lip; ragged breath as my teeth sought it out and nibbled lightly.

His hands fisted even tighter into the comforter and he pulled the fabric tight, using it to raise my
head to his face even more, and we were intertwined; legs wrapped around his hips, arms
clutching the hair at the nape of his neck as our chests sliding against one another and his shallow
thrusting turning into rhythmic grinding against my clit.

It built deep in my abdomen with each pass of his pelvic bone over and over, the deep filling
feeling resting far inside of my stomach along with the constant stimulation on my nipples and
against my mouth were too much and I was crying his name out into his shoulder when the
numbness in my legs spread like wildfire up my calves and met the pressure sweeping down from
my belly button. The force of them meeting at the exact spot that Edward and I were connected

caused my entire body spasm and I tightened my calves as I went rigid and screamed his name.

His mouth found mine and he sucked my lower lip in between his, biting sharply as he pumped
deeply a few times and then groaned sweet words through his release. He laughed a little when he

released my lip and opened his eyes, pressing his forehead to mine.

"I almost didn't make it," he said breathlessly. "I had to think of…really unappealing things. Like

Michael Moore in a bathing suit…"

My legs relaxed and slid down his thighs as I chuckled and then pulled his face to mine for a kiss.
Letting him rest his head against my chest, I trailed my fingers through his hair, reveling in the

silky strands and watching them stand straight up as I twisted them in between my fingertips.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't…ever…think of Michael Moore while we're having sex again."

His lips pressed softly to the swell of my breast and he looked up at me, his eyes sparkling and

filled with mischief. "So, you're saying we get to do this again?"

I rolled my eyes and bit back a disappointed moan when he slid out from in between my legs. "Hell
yeah, we're doing this again." I smiled coyly. "Maybe next time you can stay at my place? I

have…much nicer sheets."

The look on his face made me blush. You would have thought I'd just told him that R2D2 was real,

he was so damn excited.

And, astonishingly enough, I was too.

8==========================================D ~~~~~ {()}

Rose gave me a knowing look in the break room as I prepared myself a cup of coffee.

"Ride another horse last night?" she snickered.

I scowled and gave her a disapproving look. "Miss Hale, I have no idea what you're referring to."

She snorted. "Really? Because you kind of have a limp." She sipped her coffee and grinned.

Stirring my creamer in, I couldn't help but laugh. I was pretty proud of myself, actually. Not only
had I successfully snooped through Edward's belongings enough to verify that there were no
female items anywhere in his apartment that didn't belong to Victoria, but I'd also managed not to

crap the bed when we'd had sex that morning.

That's, what? An extra one thousand pinball machine points in Geek Land?

"You'd be limping if your 'gina swallowed a lighthouse." I lifted a brow. "Twice."

"No shit!" She squealed and then regained her composure, leaning back to see if anyone had
overheard her outburst. When she was satisfied that the coast was clear, she grinned. "Tell me all

about it…"

Sighing contentedly, I leaned against the counter top. "Honestly? Best I've ever had. And, while I
haven't been with that many men…it's still something." I slid my eyes over to her eager
expression. "It seriously is as…" I motioned with my hands, "big as I said. But he's so damn sweet

and he really, really likes me."

"And you?"

"I'm pretty sure I feel the same."

"But…"

I shrugged. "But, nothing ever really works out like we expect, right?"

She giggled and looked over her shoulder. "Seems like he's not really worrying about anything
right now…"

My gaze traveled to where she was looking and I saw Edward talking to Emmett, his hands shoved
into his pockets while he leaned against the wall and watched Emmett flail his arms animatedly. He
really did look content and happy, and like nothing in the world was bothering him. I stared for a
moment and watched with surprise when Edward suddenly turned and locked eyes with me, a

cocky… sinfully hot…and satisfied…smirk spreading across his face.

I was definitely going to owe him another pair of skivvies.

What? I needed underwear and he said I could have them.

"I'm wearing his knickers right now, you know," I whispered as I lifted my coffee cup to my lips,
not looking at Rose.

She choked on her coffee and it spurted out of her nose as she dropped her Styrofoam cup and
threw her hands to her face to catch the creamy liquid spewing forth. I stared at her, horrified
before Emmett ran at warp speed to wrap his grizzly bear arms around her chest and jerk her up

off of the floor.

"She doesn't need the Heimlich!" I yelled and hit his arm with my other hand.

Her face lifted and she glared at me as she choked in a harsh breath. "I see that getting laid has
not helped your word vomit situation," she coughed.

Edward's feet slid to a halt next to me and he gave me a look that I couldn't quite place. After
looking at me for a moment, he turned his attention to Rose and Emmett. "What's she talking

about?"

Emmett rolled his eyes and settled Rose back down on her feet. She went about cleaning herself up

and I gave Emmett a death glare that, apparently, he did not see.

"Rose told Bella to get laid, because all she can think about is the pipe in your pants."

Edward's stance went rigid for a moment and then he turned slowly to look at me. "Is that true?"

"I told you," I whispered. "Rose told me to take the day off and figure out what I wanted."

"What you wanted," he repeated softly, his eyes dropping to the floor. "And what exactly did you

decide that it was that you wanted, Bella?"

I was scared. He looked upset and it shouldn't have been that way at all. My mouth opened and I
blinked rapidly, placing my coffee on the table and taking his hands in mine. "I decided that I

wanted you, Edward."

Emmett's head tilted to the side as he stared. "Huh?"

With an exhausted breath, I gazed up at Edward's beautiful face. "Rose is boning Emmett. Alice is
riding Jasper's carousel. It's not a problem for them to know, okay?" My voice was pleading as I
looked into his eyes. "I just needed a push in the right direction or I would have talked myself out

of it. I'm really, really good at that…"

A slight smile crept up on his lips and they puckered a little. "I bet you're good at a lot of things we

didn't do last night."

Emmett's mouth dropped open.

"Dammit, Edward!" Rose hissed. "The entire reason why she needed to get laid was because all she
thought about was your cock while delivering the news. Don't make it worse."

I stared at him for being so brah and shook my head at what a strange mix of cocky and brainy
nerd boy who likes documentaries and probably waits every year with baited breath for Shark
Week he was. Edward was unlike any other guy I'd ever met, or had the good fortune of bedding
before. And as long as he was interested in keeping this thing going, then so was I. Because I
couldn't wait to learn more about him and to uncover what other little hidden gems Edward Masen

held in his meticulously clean cabinets.

"No worries, Rose," I assured her, breaking away from the fixed gaze of Edward's sex eyes. "I

guarantee this will be the best broadcast I've ever given."

With a confident wink, I made my way to see Alice and have my make-up done.

8==========================================D

Smiling at the camera, I announced Jasper to give the weather report. Something had been a little
off about him since he'd walked in this morning. Jasper was usually quiet, but today he'd been
even more quiet than usual, and he'd been staring back and forth between Edward and me all day,

like he had fire in his pants. His eyes were kind of creepy-wide and he looked straight up tense.

Jasper smiled into Edward's camera and lifted his hand with his remote to point to the
accumulation of rainfall. "It looks like we should expect a good nine inches of rain in Seattle
tonight, folks." His eyes flicked over to me and his lip twitched before he looked back into Edward's
camera. "Nine inches. That's almost as big as me." He smirked for a second and then his eye went
wide again before he laughed maniacally and rushed through the rest of his report and then stared
glassy eyed into the lens before the teleprompter popped up to alert me to my sign off.

Emmett stared dumbfounded in my periphery and Tyler made a choking sound. The light alerted
me to begin speaking and I gave a tight smile. "Thanks for joining us tonight. I'm Bella Swan.

Good night, Seattle; rest easy."

Rose let her clipboard fall to the floor and marched directly over to where Jasper was blinking and
shaking his head furiously. "Are you for real, right now?"

Jasper looked up in shock. "I don't…I don't know what happened."

"You talked about your dick on air. That's what." Rose was incensed.

"They…" Jasper pointed to me and Edward, moving his hand back and forth. "Those two are like
walking sex…it's just rolling off of them. Does no one else feel that shit? It's lusty up in here. Thick
like cotton freaking candy!" He shook his head again. "I'm sorry. I have to find Alice." And with
that final statement, he scurried from the set and ran down the hall.

To get laid?

Tyler clucked his tongue and straightened his papers. "Bella…The cameraman? Is that why you

smell like a college fraternity shower stall?"

My mouth pursed into a thin line and I snorted. "Yeah. It is. Because after he screwed my brains
out…properly…I slept at his place. And, while it's none of your business, you should know that I
don't foresee this ending any time soon. So either be a good…little…boy and deal with it. Or find
another job." I slammed my papers down and stood up hastily from behind the desk. "And for the

record, I didn't make one mistake tonight, or drop any innuendo at all. So suck on that, Tyler."

I made my way directly to Edward and pulled on his shirt until he dipped his face low enough for
me to kiss him passionately. He returned the kiss; wrapping his arms around my waist and picking

me up a little off of the floor before slowly letting me back down. My chest rubbed against his and I
sighed contentedly.

"Sex was the key all along? Why didn't I think of that?" he chided me with a smile.

I shrugged a little. "You probably did."

He glanced once at Tyler. "Yeah. You caught me. I've been thinking about getting you in my bed
since the first day I saw you." That smirk was back, and I loved it. Especially because he'd earned
every damn right to be that way. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, answering it
quietly. "Hey, James. Yeah…it's in my room. I think it's on the bookshelf. Okay. I'll work over the
footage later…yep. Tell Laurent I'll see him Saturday."

I smiled as he slid the phone into his pocket. "Dinner?"

His smile melted my brains right then and there. "Your place this time. You promised." Linking our
fingers together, we walked by Rose and Emmett, who was still staring with his mouth hanging
open.

I never thought I'd see Emmett speechless, but apparently Wang had super powers in his pants.
And I was all about super heroes right now.

9: What, What?

EPOV

"Can you toss salad?"

My head whipped around so fast I almost dropped the bottle of wine I had in my hands. "What?
What?"

She snorted indelicately. "What what, in the butt?"

My eyes popped even wider.

Bella blinked a couple of times and stopped slicing carrots. "Why are you looking at me like that?

Grab some nuts and throw then in there before you toss the salad."

Clearing my throat, I placed the wine back on the counter top next to the sink. "You have no idea

what you just said, do you?" She shook her head and gave me a dirty look.

Probably best to keep it to myself, then.

She passed me the bowl of leafy greens and pointed to a row of jars next to the microwave. "I like

nuts. I have lots of different kinds, so choose one. Or two. I don't care if you mix 'em up."

My tongue pressed to the roof of my mouth to stop from yelling something inappropriate. Grabbing
the sunflower seeds, I twisted the lid open and shook out a palm full before throwing them into the
salad. A little vinaigrette, a couple of shuffles of the spinach leaves with tongs and suddenly I was

a friggin' Master Chef contestant.

Bella tapped me on the shoulder and I turned to see her handing me a glass of red wine. I took it
and she clinked her glass against mine, giving me an electric smile that wasn't one that I saw

every day on camera. It was genuine. And it made me smile in return.

She took a sip and looked over at the timer on the oven. "A few more minutes and the lasagna
should be done."

"What should we do until then?" I asked, looking at her over the brim of my glass as I took a small
sip.

Her head tilted a little to the side and she shifted from foot to foot, looking me over. Cradling the
wine glass into her chest she licked her lower lip. "Maybe we should…get to know each other a little

better?"

I watched her settle her glass and push herself up so she was sitting on the counter top, settling
one leg under her while the other swung freely, bouncing a little against the cabinets. She had her
hair back in a ponytail and she was wearing some comfortable looking shorts that were a little
worse for the wear. Paired with the tank top that was sliding off of her shoulder as she leaned to

pick up her wine glass, she looked the most relaxed I'd ever seen her.

Leaning back to settle against the countertop, I let my feet cross, wiggling my toes a little. She
smiled lightly as she watched me do it and I had to admit that I really enjoyed how she made me
feel when she did that. She always seemed to be looking at the smaller details that most women

didn't pay much attention to.

"Damn, your fingers are long."

Like that, for instance.

I looked down at my digits and flexed my palm open. "I guess."

She picked up a slice of carrot and placed it on her tongue. "Do you play piano with those?"

"I did, actually."

"Nice." She took another sip from her glass. "A movie making, piano playing hottie. Something tells
me you really knew how to work buttons in High School." Her lips curled into a smile as she
chewed.

"I was more interested in making fan videos in my backyard than chasing girls," I admitted, feeling

more than a little dumb with this line of questioning.

"Wait," she chuckled. "Fan videos? Please explain this." Bella leaned back a little and grinned,

amused.

I drained the remaining wine in my glass and set it down to fold my arms protectively across my
chest. "It's not uncommon, you know. Lots of women write Fan Fiction. Guys like to reenact scenes
from their favorite movies. And video tape them."

"You'll have to school me on Fan Fiction later, because I have no idea what that is." She drank
more. "But, what movies did you 'reenact'?"

"It doesn't really matter." I poured another glass of wine.

Bella looked thoughtful. "I bet they involved light sabers, huh?"

"Shut up," I chuckled and turned back to see her eyeing me wickedly.

"I made a video one time. Okay, I've obviously made more than one... given the fact that I wanted
to be in broadcasting. But my best friend in High School, Jennifer, had me at her house one day
during the summer. Her little sister had this Barbie horse." She laughed and waved her hand in

front of her face at the memory. "It could walk. Battery powered…whatever. So we wanted to make
a horror movie, and we used the horse."

She was cute as she told the story, looking wistful and blushing like crazy. "Do you still have it?"

"Yeah. But it's on VHS, and…damn my luck," she snapped her fingers sarcastically. "I don't own a

VCR anymore."

Taking a step towards her, I watched her pop another carrot in her mouth. "So, this movie…"

She laughed loudly. "Movie geek. You wanna know how we set up the cameras? And what shots we
used?" Her left eyebrow lifted seductively. "Does it make all hot to think about what kind of video

camera we used?"

"Maybe," I joked back.

"You would be proud. There was even a soundtrack: The Cranberries. I was damn proud of it." She

smiled again and chewed thoughtfully. "We ended up shoving that horse in the microwave."

"No shit? Did you burn the house down?"

She snorted again. It was quickly becoming one of my favorite reactions from her. "We were
fourteen. Old enough to know that metal plus microwaves equals fire." She rolled her eyes in false

exasperation.

I was in front of her now, my hands resting on her knees. Leaning into her to place a kiss on her

forehead, I smiled. "I'm going to make it my mission to find that tape and have it transferred."

She slapped my arm and laughed. "No." Angling back from me, she looked at my lips. There was
an intense moment of silence where we just gazed at the other, not moving, just holding ourselves
an inch away. The timer buzzed and she jumped, startled, before pushing me back a little. I let her
move off of the countertop and watched as she bent over to open the oven and pull the pan of

lasagna out to place onto the stove. She peeled back the foil and did a silly little two-step.

"This is mine," she said, pointing to the edge of the pan. "That square. Mine."

I looked at the pan. "Any reason why?"

She nodded and licked her lips. "See how crunchy the edges are? It's overcooked and way too

cheesy." Her smiled got bigger. "It's my favorite."

Nodding in understanding, I bent and kissed her shoulder. "Anything else I should know about your

eating habits?"

She licked some sauce from her thumb and pulled a spatula from the drawer next to her. "I eat
Oreos with Coke Zero. Or water." She handed me a full plate of lasagna and did a small curtsy.

"Bon appétit…"

8==========================================D

Technically, it would have been considered our first date. I had absolutely no issue with the fact
that it was spent making dinner together and talking, making out on her couch and watching late
night television. She just made herself comfortable under my arm as we watched Leno, and she
rested her fingers against my thigh, making small circle motions over my skin. Eventually, her
head slipped down and she settled into my lap, turning over to look up at me as we talked and

laughed, enjoying the comfortable company.

Ultimately, she began to yawn and her eyes were glassier than they had been before dinner.

"Should I head out?" I asked, hoping she would say no.

She sat up and stretched, shaking her head. "Hell no, Wang. I told you I was going to let you sleep

on real Egyptian cotton." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "And I always make good on my promises."

"Good to know," I murmured, feeling a stirring in my pants.

I followed her into her room and looked around at the disarray that she clearly didn't care about at
all. It wasn't over the top, but it was obvious that she was celebrating living by herself. Which

reminded me…

"When was the last time you flipped your mattress?" I asked, eyeing her bed suspiciously.

"Uh…never?" She said, giving me a questioning look.

I nodded once and headed over to the bed, pulling all of the bedding off and flipping the mattress.

She watched in awe as I set about putting the sheets back on.

"What?"

Bella leaned against her dresser. "What was all that about?"

I shrugged. "I'd prefer not to sleep in the same place as that asshat…"

Understanding dawned on her face and she pressed her lips together. "Umm, should I be worried

about what I slept in last night?"

Looking her directly in the eyes, I shook my head. "No."

"So, you're not a man hooker?"

"No." I was slightly offended. "Why the hell would you think that?"

She took a few steps forward and rested her hands against the waist of my jeans. "Have you seen

yourself?"

Yep. There was more than a twitch in my pants now. "Flattery, Muff?"

Bella popped the button on my jeans and batted her lashes. "Maybe. Do you like it?"

"I like you," I whispered, grasping her shoulders in my hands and pulling her to me so that I could

kiss her.

Her hands skimmed into my underwear and she let out a discouraged sigh. Pulling away she

frowned. "I'm sorry…I'm really sore."

"No…no that's okay," I assured her, feeling uncomfortable as I tried to will my boner away.

She shook her head sadly and let her fingers run gently across my hard-on. "I mean, I could

always help you out another way?"

I love you, Bella Swan.

"Okay," I almost yelled excitedly.

Quickly, she flipped off all of the lights and pulled my hand to get me to the bed. She crawled up
onto the covers and settled onto her knees, pulling me towards her face to finish dropping the

zipper and moving my cock out of his home while I shimmied my jeans off and onto the floor.

Her fingernails trailed lightly over my abdomen and I sighed loudly, encouraging her as she trailed

over and across my skin under my shirt. "Take this off, "she whispered.

What is it about being in the dark that makes people want to be quiet?

I obliged, reaching behind me and tugging until I had it thrown aside and then it was

me…naked…in front of her while she was kneeling on the bed and staring at it in the darkness.

"All right," she said quietly. "I've seen porn, so…I know this won't be the same as if I had some
sort of jaw that could unhinge. And I most definitely have a gagging reflex." Her face lifted to look
at me pleadingly. Even in the darkness, I could see her face because of the moonlight through the
window. And she was just as beautiful when she was over thinking in the dark as when she did it in

daylight.

"You don't have to," I lied. Because, really…that would suck. And not literally.

"I want to," she said curling her fingers around my shaft. I lost my air in a whoosh from my mouth

and she chuckled, opening her mouth and flicking her tongue across the head.

Hell. She might not even have to put it into her mouth…

She paused and raised one of her palms, laving it with her tongue. I could see the wetness shining
in the moonlight and I couldn't do anything but stare. She chanced a glance at me and blinked.
"I've watched a lot of porn."

Her hand slid down to my base and I swayed a little on my feet, grabbing her shoulders for support
as she stroked up and down a few times, pressing soft lips to the head and running her tongue in a
circle across it before opening her mouth and licking her lips to add moisture before it hovered and

dropped onto me.

It was already too much, and I tensed, my hands flying up to grip her ponytail and the top of her
head. She was definitely having difficulty and I was concentrating on not moving so that I didn't
accidentally choke her. Bella shifted back and ran her teeth along the sensitive curve under the

ridge and my knees shook.

One hand was squeezing me in the middle and the wet one was pumping up and down, stopping to
traipse across my balls and let a finger drift in between to press onto my perineum. My body was
shaking from restraint and I was unsuccessful in any attempts I had at trying not to moan and

grunt loudly.

The pressure was already building and she moved her mouth down again, while she moaned and
sucked as hard as she could, pulsing her tongue against the underside and my fingers
inadvertently tightened around her ponytail and a rush of profanities came out of my mouth as I

felt myself harden further and her mouth pulled upwards.

"Gonna…c-c-c-c," I grunted incoherently as my eyes rolled into the back of my head.

Suddenly the pressure was gone and I looked down in a panic to see her staring up at me. As soon
as we made eye contact she wrapped her hands around me tightly and opened her mouth to take
me in once more, sucking harshly and I lost it, coming fast and hard, her ponytail wrapped around

my fingers as my hips shifted into her mouth violently.

She made a high pitched moaning sound and relaxed her mouth a little more as I emptied into her,
telling her that she was amazing and beautiful…all true, regardless of whether or not she was

holding a mouthful of my come right now.

Her hands relaxed a little as my twitching ceased and her lips let up and slid across the sensitive
spots before she placed one kiss on my slit.

"Was that okay?" she asked. It sounded a little weird, though.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Was that okay?" she repeated, pressing her fingers to her lips.

"Yeah, better than okay, Bella." She smiled strangely. "What's wrong?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"My lips are numb," she admitted and pouted.

And I had to laugh, because it wouldn't be me and Bella if it hadn't ended up like this. For all
intents and purposes, we'd only been Edward and Bella for a full day now…but truthfully it had

been us from day one. Numb lips and all, this is how I wanted it.

I released her hair and leaned over her, watching as she leaned back and settled onto the
mattress, staring up at me. And I kissed her lips to make them better, wondering if another type of
friction would bring them back to life. She reacted by opening her lips for me and allowing my
tongue to sweep in and across hers, swirling languidly there, and settling myself onto her tiny

frame.

Reaching between us, I slipped my palm against the damp cloth residing over the juncture of her

thighs.

"Edward, I told you I was sore…you don't have to…"

"I'm not going to put anything inside of you," I assured her. Lifting her tank top above her breasts,
I adjusted myself to rest against her side and worked my fingers gently over her sex. She moaned

and inhaled a sharp breath. "Is this comfortable?" I asked as my lips found her pert nipple.

"Yes," she whimpered.

"Mmm," I hummed and took the peak in my mouth while rubbing flat circles outside of her shorts,
feeling her swollen flesh move with my hand beneath the fabric. Pressing my fingers in more
forcefully, I sucked roughly and felt her body tense as she gripped my hair with one hand and the

comforter with the other.

Five more minutes of that and she was bowing off of the mattress, her pelvis tilted towards the
ceiling as she panted and choked my name out in sputtering breaths. Her hips bucked and her legs
tensed and she quivered; every muscle contracting as she came. Finally satiated, she rested

against the bed again and released her hold on my hair.

I settled my chin on her chest as watched smugly as she caught her breath and her limbs went

languid. "I've watched some porn, too," I chuckled.

She laughed and slithered down a foot to kiss me sweetly. "Want to go to sleep now?"

I yawned and kissed her once more. "Yes, by all means. Show me what I've been missing with my

Wal-Mart sheets."

Bella rolled over and pulled her shorts off, throwing them to the floor along with her tank. She
pulled the comforter back and patted the pillows. "Prepare to never want to get out of bed again,

Mr. Masen."

I crawled under the top sheet and sighed contentedly. It was like sleeping in a cloud wrapped in

butterfly wings. "Oh, damn," I mumbled and pressed my face into the pillowcase.

"See?" she chuckled.

"Yeah, you were right. I don't ever want to get out of this bed again." I placed my hand on her hip

and let my thumb trail lightly over the satiny skin.

"You don't have to ever get out of this bed." She yawned again. "I'll keep you here as my mattress

slave."

"I'd like that," I laughed.

"I like you," she whispered.

My heart thumped audibly in my ears and I pulled her body towards mine, noting how well she fit
against my chest and holding her close. I kissed her head again and settled my cheek against her

head.

"I like you, too," I whispered into the darkness, smiling to myself when she relaxed against me and

snaked her arm across my ribs, holding me just as tightly as I was holding her.

Chapter 10: Fig Newton's Law

EPOV

There was no way.

I held her shower curtain back with my hand and gawked. There were no more than three rings in
the tub. And soap was gunked up in the little corner. Shampoo globs on the side. But the real deal

breaker was the wad of hair bunched up and stuck to the wall.

I'm all for not clogging a drain, but…

"I…actually need to run back to my apartment before work. I forgot some stuff that I need for a
thing and should probably go get that," I called to her, listening as my voice echoed through the

bathroom and into where she was eating a bagel in her bed.

Crumbs in the sheets. Shit.

She didn't respond so I walked over to the doorway to see her chewing her breakfast and rolling
her eyes at the television. Pointing her finger she shoved the wad of food to her cheek and
mumbled around her mouthful. "Why do they pretend it's anything but what it is? ExtenZ? Cialis?

Call it Dick Lift so everyone knows what's up." She giggled and choked a little. "Literally."

There was cream cheese on the corner of her mouth. I kind of wanted to lick it.

"I have to run back to my apartment before work," I repeated.

She swallowed and winced painfully. "That hurt," she rasped and reached for the coffee next to her

bed. "I can drive you over. We can ride to work together?"

I shook my head, trying to be cool. "No, you need time to get ready so I'll just meet you there."

Bella gave me a strange look. "You don't want to be seen with me?"

My mouth must haven fallen open so wide she would have seen the scars from my tonsillectomy.
"The hell? Are you serious?" Her puppy dog eyes said she was. "Your shower is disgusting."

She shrugged. "See? Honesty. That's what I like about you." Smiling, she licked the side of her
mouth and cleaned off the cream cheese. "You're welcome to clean it anytime you want to."

I ran my hands through my hair and laughed. "I'm actually going to take you up on that if you
want me over here more often." The air sort of buzzed when I'd completed my sentence and we

stared at one another for a moment. "I mean…that is…if you'd like me to be here more often."

Bella tilted her head a little and looked thoughtful. "It's easier to walk around naked at my place.
And while I'm sure your roommate liked the eyeful he got of me in your jocks, I'd prefer to save
the goods for you, if you get what I'm sayin'." Her smile was sweet and electric. "I mean, pack an
overnight or something. Keep a toothbrush." And with a small wink she nodded towards the

bathroom. "Feel free to bring some Scrubbing Bubbles while you're at it."

My stupid goofy smile didn't die down when I kissed her goodbye. It stayed in place as I ran three

red lights. And it was certainly present when I rushed my way into the door of my apartment.

"Ed?"

"I don't have time, James. I'm running late," I called to him as I scrambled to get out of my clothes
and start the shower at the same time. Jumping under the spray I relaxed, thankful that my
shower was so freaking clean. I'd just lathered my hair with shampoo when I heard something

outside of the curtain.

"Ed. I gotta show you something, dude."

"I told you I don't have time." Water hit my face as I rushed through my hair washing routine.

I felt cold air hit my legs and I turned abruptly, cursing as shampoo slid into my right eye. "Dude,

J, I told you I didn't have time this morning."

He gave me a pleading look. "It's about the film."

"Which means it can wait." I wasn't weirded out by this in the least. Just my roommate watching

me shower. No big deal.

"I don't think it can."

"Unless Laurent told you to stop filming him or you've lost half of the documentary, it can wait." I

turned off the shower and motioned for him to back up so I could grab a towel and rush out.

"Half of the documentary is gone."

He stood stone still as I whipped around to face him, losing my balance and slipping on the puddle
of water that had accumulated because he had been holding the curtain open. Trying to stop my
fall, I flailed and grabbed for the towel rack, effectively ripping it from the wall and bringing it, as

well as some chunks of plaster, down as I hit the cold floor.

Holding the broken rod in my hand I stared at him in disbelief. "Tell me you're joking."

His eyes bugged out in surprise. "Really? I would joke about this?"

I scrambled to my feet, throwing the rack on the ground and snatching my towel off of the floor.
"How?" I yelled, stomping into my room. "How did you lose that much footage? What happened?"

Panic was sliding down my body at a rapid pace and I could feel my stomach churn.

"You can stop blaming me at any time," he responded eerily calmly.

"Well, I haven't touched anything. So who would have done it?"

James took a deep breath and grabbed the camera off of my bed, flipping the viewing screen open

and pressing the play button. And that's when Bella's face appeared.

"Oh, God." I pulled the camera from his hand. "How long…"

"It went all night, I think."

"What do you mean, you 'think'?" I couldn't rip my eyes from the screen.

"Well, I didn't exactly watch all of it. I mean, once you started screwing, I turned it off."

It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. "As soon as we WHAT?"

He smiled and chuckled. "You have your very own sex tape, Ed. And a pretty good one at that.
Nice moves. She's hot as hell. And damn if she didn't look like she was going go into shock when

you tried to stick it in…"

"OH MYGOD…" I held up my hand and tried to control the volume of my voice, but it was useless.

"You watched it. Oh. My. God."

He rolled his eyes. "Only until you got it in. That sparkly shit on her," he made a clicking sound and

pointed to his crotch, "was definitely a nice touch."

Closing my eyes, I held my breath for a moment. "You need to leave before I kick your ass."

James sighed. "Fine. It's not like I made a copy." He was quiet for a second. "Probably should
have, though. After all of the YouTube videos of her up there lately, I bet you could totally sell that

and make a profit."

"Three," I warned.

"Paris Hilton…"

"Two."

"Kim Kardashian…"

I glared at him and his smile faded.

"Okay. Okay. I'm leaving. Damn. Just, figure out what the hell we're going to do now that your
girlfriend's taped over our only chance to get into Sundance." He shook his head and slipped out
the door, leaving me with a handful of evidence and absolutely no clue how to break the bad news
to Bella.

8=================================D ~~~~~ (.)(.)

BPOV

Rose seemed panicked when she flew by the make-up room. She was muttering to Angela and

scribbling furiously on her clipboard.

"Emergency meeting in five!" she yelled. "Five minutes, people. I am not kidding!"

Alice stared out the door as they swept past and looked thoughtful. "Changes are a comin'," she
whispered and then shook her head before moving behind me to take off the thin, paper bib she

had around my neck while she was applying my eye shadow. "Better go before you get in trouble."

I thanked her and scurried towards the conference room at full speed, skidding a little as I almost
ran past the open door. Catching my hand on the wall, I pivoted and reeled back to get into the

room and rammed my head into Emmett's torso.

"Unf," he yelled, pressing his hand to his chest with a pained look on his face.

"Sorry," I whined, rubbing the point of impact on my head and wincing.

A grin pulled the corner of his mouth upward. "Didn't you get enough ramming this week, Muff?"

"Cut the bullshit and take your seats," Rose commanded, slamming her clipboard down on the

table. She pressed a perfectly manicured hand to the side of her face and glared in our direction.

Emmett stared at her for a moment before straightening his shoulders. "She means business…"

It seemed as if the entire station was crammed into the conference room, though I knew that
wasn't the case. There were just a ton of people shoved against one another as Rose waited for

Angela to usher the last stray wanderers in.

One of those just happened to be Edward. And he looked frazzled.

I caught his eye and he gave me a quick nod, his mouth turned into a cute frown and his eyebrows

pulled together to form a perfect v on his forehead.

Rose called the meeting to order and looked around the room at all of us before starting. Her
hands were clasped tightly behind her back, which made her chest jut out and I heard Emmett

muttering something under his breath so I stepped on his foot to get him to shut up.

"Mother-whore!" He hissed and pulled his foot from beneath mine. I simply gave Rose a placating

smile as she looked in our direction.

"Tyler Crowley has handed in his resignation." Rose waited as the enormity of that statement sunk

in.

There was tittering in the crowd of people and I chanced a sly glance in Edward's direction,
suppressing a smile as I saw his eyebrows shoot straight up to meet his hair line. I wasn't the least
bit surprised or worried by this turn of events. It would make dating Edward a thousand times

easier without old baggage lying to my left every night.

Rose cleared her throat to get everyone to shut up. "He did not give a notice. And we don't have
anyone in mind to replace him. Before you run off at the mouth and start any rumors: Yes, he took
a position at another station. No, I will not tell you which one." Her eyes fell directly on me.
"Apparently, he'd been shopping himself out to other networks for a while now."

How the hell would I have known that? It's not like we had a lot of time together. He was busy
after work, as was I. And he'd been cheating on me. A little. Kinda.

I shrugged; my eyes wider than usual to convey my innocence. She nodded once and addressed

everyone else.

"We're working on getting a replacement, but that means that for the next week or so until we can
find someone to fill the seat next to Bella, everyone will have to band together and pick up the
slack. Do you all understand?"

Her dismissal was clipped and her hands were waving everyone out of the room. Except me. I
knew because she was glaring at me and her left eye was twitching. As soon as the conference
area was empty she calmly walked over and shut the door, turning to face me as she leaned

against the only portal of escape.

I swallowed loudly.

"Isabella Swan?"

My entire body shivered. "Y-yeah?"

"You'd better hope you can carry this broadcast until we can find someone."

"Of course I can." Why was my voice cracking like Justin Bieber?

"Well, I need you focused. If that means that you sex it up every night and walk with a limp, then
that's fine. But for the remainder of the week, you'll have a different cameraman. Edward will be

doing some storm tracking with Jasper."

"Why?"

"Because this is a busy week. And with the rise in murders downtown, we're sure to be getting
slammed with breaking reports left and right. Keep yourself available at all times, unless you're

getting pounded."

I pressed my hand to my face. "This is place is so messed up."

"Just be glad I'm not telling you to take a vow of celibacy."

Nodding, I gave her an awkward double thumbs' up. "I'm on it, boss. I'm on all of it. The news.
Edward's dick. You can count on me."

She nodded in agreement. "You'd better be."

I left the room and went straight back to the make-up chair, allowing Alice to complete what she'd

started.

"Bella?" Edward's voice called to me from the doorway and I waved for him to come closer. My

eyes were closed as Alice worked over the eye shadow.

"What's up?" I asked from beneath her arm pit.

"It can wait."

"No," I insisted. "I don't have very long to talk. Go ahead."

"Nope. I'll meet up with you later."

"There is no 'later'. You're being assigned to Jasper for a few days. I won't see you at all for
practically the rest of the week."

"Then I'll talk to you about it, then."

The entire thing was getting annoying. "Fine."

"Fine."

Alice sighed. "I'll give you three minutes." Moving away, she left the room and closed the door
behind her. I sat up in my seat to see Edward looking…well…terrified.

"What is it?" I asked, attempting not to crease my forehead and cake up the liquid base Alice had
just applied.

He held up his hand with his video camera in it.

"You came in here for Show and Tell? I already saw that camera, remember?"

His lips pulled tight and his nostrils flared. "I'm well aware that you saw this camera."

"Okay. So…"

"So, the camera apparently saw you too."

"Huh?" Now my forehead was going to have all kinds of crazy ripples in it.

He took a step forward. "Just, let me show you before you say anything, okay?"

I nodded, perplexed. He sidled up beside me and flipped the screen open to hold it up to my face.

"Oh my hell!" I yelled, pressing my face closer to the screen to see. "You're a pervert!"

"You did it!" He hissed loudly. "This is like, forty five minutes after you started recording."

Blinking rapidly to try and make it go away, I cringed. "I didn't mean to. Seriously."

"You taped over my documentary footage."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

I looked up at him and frowned. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

He just shrugged sadly. "Unfortunately for both of us, James was the one who found it."

I groaned and pressed my hand to my forehead. "I think I'm going to throw up."

"He said your body is awesome, if it's any consolation."

"Gee. How did you know? At least our sex tape isn't terrible." The sarcasm needed to be thicker.

He smiled a little. "It's actually…really…hot."

My mouth dropped open. "Shut up."

"No, really. This part is my favorite, I think." He moved the film forward with his finger and
stopped. "Your face right here?"

It was true. I was all kinds of naked and on display; pink lipped and pink nipped, sex goddess hair
and biting into my lip with my teeth. And…damn…if the sight of me riding him wasn't making me

wet my…technically his…knickers right then.

I looked up at him and licked my lips quickly. "Okay. It's sexy," I whispered.

He swallowed loudly and stared at my mouth.

"That's three minutes," Alice called softly, poking her head in the door.

We kept staring at each other. "Make a copy," I whispered and settled back into the chair. "I'll

figure out how to help you get more footage to make up for what you lost."

Edward seemed to snap out of his trance fast enough to click the camera shut before Alice could

see what was happening on the film.

Though I didn't see him for the next three days except to pass by each other in the hallways, or as
he stood behind his camera as I carried the weight of the broadcast by myself, we sent texts and
emails or called each other between reports. I was working extra hours and he was following
Laurent on his off time to try and get more film to work with since our fornication had ruined the
original.

I barely noticed that I slept alone because I was so exhausted I would fall into a dead sleep, barely
moving at all throughout the night. But I had to prove myself and with as much as I would have
liked to have him come over at least once, it wouldn't have been a good idea at all because we

would have just been naked the entire time.

I did my best to not screw up any of my reports. And the cameraman that they had with me had
no personality at all, so it was easy not to get distracted. He didn't suggest that I ride a horse. The
studio got me a wireless microphone so that I didn't have any more accidents. It was work, work,

work.

But now that I had Edward, it didn't bring me as much fulfillment as it had before. In fact, I was

much less satisfied without him. And much less…full.

The night brought dreams of his dick. Like it was Goliath and I was David, but instead of trying to

attack it with a slingshot, I was trying to propel myself on top of it without getting killed.

There was also a FrankenCock dream that was weird because it talked and that shit's just not

kosher.

Mostly I dreamed about his eyes and his smile or licking the side of his face. For days I would wake
up to use my vibrator, and then have to use it before bed to try and get the pent up need out of
my system. No one had ever told me that actually having a competent sexual partner would result

in my neediness escalating a thousand percent.

Friday I was excited because we were going to be able to hang out after work at the bar. I would
also get the chance to contribute to Emmett's getting wasted and giving Rose the proper banging
that she needed after this week. In fact, if he wasn't raw and she didn't slip a disc in her back, I
would have failed my mission.

I had been so busy I had barely been able to give the sex tape another thought. My brain was
running on empty and if I could just get through Friday, then a cold glass of wine and satisfying

sex was going to be my reward.

So I was all kinds of chipper and hard-nippled when I walked into the station that morning. I even
brought Alice a Starbucks because I was in such a freaking awesome mood.

"Hiiii," I sang cheerily as I handed over her coffee. She eyed it skeptically and then stared at me in
silence. "What? Can't a girl be in a good mood?"

Alice rolled her eyes.

"I have an awesome boyfriend that will be spending the night tonight. My ex isn't here to remind
me of how less than stellar he is in every department of life in general. I've kicked ass this week.

What is there not to celebrate?" I gave her a silly wink and hummed 'I Want Your Sex'.

This was probably the exact moment that the universe decided that my life was one big joke. See,
I always knew that once things in my life had gotten to a point where everything was going
perfectly, something…something…some THING would come along and screw it up. I'd always
imaged it would be a piano falling from a window as I walked beneath it. Or, that I would fall out of
a hot air balloon. Perhaps I would be on the beach, drinking too much tequila…baking in the sun

and dehydrated and the sun would be too hot and I would spontaneously combust.

All of these things seemed to be how the universe would kick my ass.

But I was wrong.

Alice was applying the last of my lipstick when I heard it. That smooth voice that made my skin

crawl and my nose turn up unpleasantly.

"I'm sure I'll love it here, Miss Hale."

My head whipped to the side so quickly I had very little time to process the fact that Alice had just
drawn a straight line from my mouth to my ear. And that's when I saw him. Golden haired. Stupid,

gag-inducing flawless face. Smooth talking asshole.

He leaned in to the open doorway to give me a wicked smile. "Bella, so nice to see you." His eyes

scanned my face and he pretended to frown. "Why so serious?"

Alice chuckled loudly and I moved to glare at her, catching my reflection in the mirror and silently
cursing my bad luck. I looked like The Joker. Red lipstick smeared up into a half crazy grin over my

face.

See? Told you he was an asshole.

I wiped at the offending mark on my face, smearing it even more.

"Stop it," Alice whined and I sighed in defeat.

"Nice to see you, as well." I gave what little smile I could under the circumstances.

He smiled a brilliant white smile and I resisted the urge to throw a tampon at his face.

Rose nodded at me and held her hand out. "Follow me and we'll finish up some of your paperwork.

We're very excited to have you aboard as our newest co-anchor."

My hands balled into fists and I glared as she walked by. There was no way. Why was this

happening to me? What had I done to make God hate me so much?

"He's your new co-anchor?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, straightening my shoulders. It wasn't worth crying over.

I was just going to be forced to work with the man I hated the most in this city.

The man I had admired most and then grown to loathe because we were in the same business and

usually ended up trying to get the same stories.

We were constantly competing for the same awards.

For all intents and purposes, he was my arch nemesis. And now I would be expected to work with
him. I'd finally reached Lead Anchor and it probably killed him to see me rise above him, even if
only for a short amount of time. That had to be the only reason he would have applied at WTWI.

It's not like his newscast was down in ratings. It's not like he wasn't loved all over Seattle.

He was loved for his good looks.

He was more endearing because he was married and had a kid.

He was charming and …perfect.

Damn it all to Hell.

The world officially hated me and it was making me suffer in the form of working hand in hand

with…Carlisle Cullen.

Suddenly, I no longer felt like celebrating after work. A gallon of Ben and Jerry's, watching Dear

John and poking thumbtacks into my hands sounded like a much better idea.

Chapter 11: BangerWang!

BPOV

I was drunk.

The entire day had spun by me so quickly I'd hardly had time to relax. Rose had assembled us all
once again to explain that Carlisle was coming aboard and that we should all make him feel

comfortable as soon as he started.

She knew how I felt about him because we had participated in long chats about what I could do to
rise above him in the ratings. How I could take the top news anchor spot at the station and become
Seattle's go-to girl for news. In comparison to Carlisle Cullen, I had all of the chips stacked against
me, but I had worked my ass off and taken my title.

Now he would be working at my desk with me.

See, America loves family. They love a family man…or woman. Someone who does their job but
their heart is at home with little Timmy or Sally…or Teddy. And Carlisle was definitely that man. He
was only about seven years older than me, but he had a house in the suburbs, a wife that looked
like she shopped at Jackie O's R Us and did fundraising every day of her life, and an adorable son

named Teddy who probably did GAP ads on the side because he was so freaking adorable.

I had looked up to Carlisle in the beginning, until I realized that he was my competition.

Now he was supposed to be able to sit next to me without incident?

Unfrigginglikely.

I blinked lazily and waved at the bartender for another shot. The entire situation was making me
feel less than stellar…and a little paranoid, to tell the truth. Downing my shot, I turned in my seat
to scour the bar for any sight of Edward. I caught a glimpse of his shock of sex hair and my

reaction was to immediately lick my lips.

I really needed to get laid after the week I had endured. After today, especially.

He was bent over and talking to someone and I narrowed my eyes, squinting to see who it was.

"Alice," I whispered.

They were leaning all into each other and she was smiling at him before she pressed her cheek
against his to whisper in his ear. It could have been because the bar was loud and she was so soft

spoken.

Or…maybe she was trying to steal my Wang.

As if Alice could steal my Wang. He was mine. Mine. I named him. I called dibs. Mine.

"No Alice steals my Wang," I muttered and started to stand to my feet.

The bar was playing a mix of older music from the eighties and nineties and I started to drift off as

I recognized the music overhead.

"Shooting at the walls of heartache," I sang along. "Bang, bang…I am the warrior…"

My thought process pretty much went to shit at that point.

"Bang, bang…Bang Wang. Banger Wang!" I was giggling now, thinking of the last time I had
watched Hook. "Bangerang…Rufio. Rufio…" My eyes were almost crossed by the time I got over to
where they were sitting in a huge group.

Edward looked up and smiled wide, his inebriation apparent as well. "Muff," he slurred and I leaned

over to plant a sloppy kiss on his lips, keeping my eyes on Alice as I did.

"BangerWang," I sighed as I let his lips go. It was my attempt at being sexy. I failed miserably
when my right foot tripped over his left one under the table. Attempting to cushion my fall, I went
limp and flailed gracelessly into his lap.

"You are so wasted," Emmett tsked, bleary eyed.

"Blah. Pot and kettle and all that shit, Em." I waved my hand at him in dismissal. Turning my lips

to Edward's ear, I attempted to whisper. "Is Alice trying to take you home?"

His face pulled back from mine viciously quick. "What? We were just talking about you…"

My eyes flicked to her and I looked away. "Oh. Sorry."

Edward's hand found my cheek and he turned my face back towards his. Though his eyes were

glassy, his face was concerned. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. This whole week has my brain fried and…I just…" My face leaned closer to his.

"I've missed you and your Pringles can."

His eyes widened and he blinked once, hard. "I'm calling a cab." Depositing me hastily in his chair,

he rushed outside to use his cell phone.

Alice was smiling coyly. "Why would you think I was hitting on Edward?"

My mouth dropped open in surprise. "Oh, shit."

She shook her head. "I'll let it slide. This time." She winked and slid her hand under the table at
the same time that Jasper jumped a little and then gave her a playful smile.

Was she rubbing one out for him under there?

Averting my attention to Rose, I followed her ping-pong match conversation with Emmett. He was
never belligerently drunk, but he was ridiculously handsy…and Rose was having none of it. It even
kind off looked like a Three Stooges episode. He would go in for a kiss and she would smack his

cheek. He'd move to whisper in her ear and she would pop him upside the head.

All that was missing was her poking him in the eye.

More music overhead as I sang along. I changed up the words a little. "We are a part of the

Wanger Nation..."

Edward's voice was suddenly in my ear and I felt my entire body shudder with anticipation. "Let's

go," he breathed and I felt my nipples tighten and my thighs clench.

Yes, Sir, Wang, Sir.

Before I knew what had happened, we were in the cab and I was straddling his lap. Gripping his
neck in one hand and a tuft of his hair in the other, I kissed him fiercely, hips grinding against him

and my skirt riding up towards my hips.

"You're so sexy," I whined into his mouth and flicked my tongue out to tease him. I was totally

working my A game, that was for sure.

He chuckled and cupped my ass cheeks firmly, pressing me down against his newly formed

erection.

"How does it stay in your pants?" I asked in awe, grinding against it a little. Okay. A lot.

"It won't be in them much longer if you don't calm down." He rested his head against the back of

the seat and let out a shuddering breath. "I want to be inside of you so bad…"

The cab slid to a halt, jerking us forcefully and I fell back off of his lap and into the cabby's seat.

"You're here," the cabby called in irritation.

"Thank God," Edward groaned and opened his door to slide out of the seat. He turned away to
adjust himself and I handed money to the driver, giving him a sloppy smile. Within moments I was
back in Edward's arms and we were kissing, attempting to walk and get inside of the apartment
entryway all at the same time. We didn't even pull apart to get on the elevator and suddenly I
wished that it moved a little slower because I would have liked to screw him in an elevator…against

the wall…with some of my clothes still on. Only, my apartment manager had installed…

"Cameras," I gasped, pushing him away one floor before my own. He looked up above our heads
and frowned, cursing under his breath. We stayed apart for the next thirty excruciating seconds

before the door pinged and opened, allowing us to exit and stumble to my door.

I struggled blindly with the lock and threw the door open with haste, yanking him inside by fisting
his shirt and dragging him down the hallway to my living room. "Take it off," I ordered, yanking on
the hem of his shirt like the horny little greedy bitch I was.

There was no hesitation on his part. If I was sober his awkward strip tease would have been sexy,
instead it made me giggle and hindered me from taking off my own clothes in a timely manner. But
it didn't matter once we reached the couch. I just wanted him inside of me.

Now.

He towered over me, naked and ready and the tequila shots made me braver than I would be
without them. I leaned up on my tiptoes and ran my nipples across his bare chest before nipping at
his lips with my teeth. His arms wrapped around me tightly and he held me to his chest as we

kissed, open mouthed and tongue wrestling until I couldn't breathe any longer.

With a final kiss to his lips, I turned in his arms and leaned forward, reaching my arms out to brace
them on the back of the couch. He made a strangled moaning sound and let his arms relax,
palming my breasts as I settled my knees on the couch and spread my knees wider. With a look

over my shoulder, I caught his gaze and bit my lip.

"Damn," he breathed out in a rush.

His lips landed softly on my shoulder and his palm rounded my ribs to run upwards to my breast
while the other hand slipped across my ass cheek and inward, tickling across my lips. One finger
slid between them, parting me open as he opened his mouth against my neck and flicked his

tongue out.

His middle finger flicked lightly over my clit and I bucked my ass into his thighs, whimpering when
it retracted and slipped into me. I could feel his cock at the small of my back and I ached to reach
around and touch it but before I could act on it, he pinched my nipple and made me cry out in

pleasure.

"Ed…ward," I whined. "I want it."

His grunt in return made me grin. Strong hands pulled my thighs father apart and then I felt the tip
of his dick right there… hovering and pressing only slightly before I tightened my hold on the back
of the couch and let my head fall back. Arching and bowing back, I closed my eyes as he stretched
me wide open and slid all the way in.

Fingers wrapped around each of my hips and he adjusted his knees against the couch, settling as
deep as possible. My head leaned into his shoulder and I let out a long, satisfied breath.

All of the stress from the week suddenly disappeared and I felt myself lose all of the control I had
been trying to keep hold of. I whispered one word into the air, hoping that he heard me when I
said it.

"Harder."

His hips stilled their slow rotation and he pressed shaky lips to my cheek. "What?"

"Harder, Edward. Please." My eyes were open now and my arms were already shaking from the

position.

He moved some hair from my shoulder and I turned my face to look into his eyes. "Are you sure?"

Damn, Wang. Want me to spell it out in coon juice on my floor?

"Yes. Hard. Er."

He gripped my hips even tighter and I squeezed my eyes shut as he moved out of me almost all
the way and then…he crashed into me with force, knocking my head forward to hang down into my
chest. I lifted my ass higher and met each of his sharp thrusts, the relaxed state of my body from

the alcohol allowing me to take as much as he could give me.

I was screaming. His name. Telling him to go harder. My face went from buried in the back of the
couch to biting it and gasping for air. He was pounding into me harder than I had ever experienced

in my life but I was screaming for more.

I may have…probably did … black out.

When I came to I was still talking, telling him how big he was. How good he felt. I was begging him
to never stop.

"Bella, I'm giving it to you as hard as I can," he rasped, the words coming out choppy as he gave
me what I was screaming for. "Your neighbors…"

"I don't care," I yelled, letting my head fall back again and looking at him, my vision practically
gone from the intensity.

"Holy shit." He moved his hands back and dug into the meat of my ass, pulling me open wider.

"Yes," I yelled and focused on his hands. I was so brave when I was drunk. Brave enough to play
with myself while he practically impaled me over and over. My fingers circled and swirled and my
nails met with the slick hardness of his shaft as it moved in and out of me at a rapid pace. "I'm
coming, Edward…"

I just needed this. I needed this from him and with him to eradicate how I'd been feeling all day.

My thighs stiffened and I arched back, one hand still on my clit and the other wrapped around his
neck to pull him as close to me as possible as one of his hands attached itself to a breast and
pulled. And I was done, the heat and coiling weight in my abdomen shooting down victoriously fast
as it exploded between my legs and I shuddered, going rigid and screaming his name. Pulsing
around him, I felt more wetness leak out and heard the change in wet slapping sounds as he

jerked violently into me and pressed his face into my neck, coming hard and fast.

Eventually, his movements slowed and we fell onto the couch together, breathing in harsh breaths
and wrapped around each other. My arms lay across his and my fingers slid between his fingers,
securing my back to his chest. He settled in behind me and took a few settling breaths before a

laugh escaped his throat.

"What's so funny?" I inquired, my tongue thick and fuzzy from all of my hard breathing.

He shifted up on his elbow and looked down at my upturned face. "Someone may think that I was

killing you in here."

I chuckled. "I don't care."

8=================================D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We fell asleep on the couch in our post coital embrace, but halfway through the night I had to get

up to pee.

Damn you, Tequila and your bladder bursting ways.

My head was fuzzy and my eyes could barely adjust to the lights in the bathroom as I did my
business. Making my way back to the living room, I made sure that my Wang had a blanket and I

wobbled into the kitchen on sore legs with an even sorer Coon Box.

"I need aspirin," I whispered to no one in particular. Downing a glass of water and popping the
pills, I stretched my neck a little and went to shut off the light. And that's when something caught

my eye on the floor.

Edward's camera. He'd had it with him at work and I must have missed him bringing it in from the
bar, what with me trying so desperately to get his dick inside of me. I looked at his sleeping form

again and grabbed it, sneaking off to my bedroom to try and get a good look at the tape again.

I felt absolutely terrible about ruining his footage. There had to be some way for me to make it up

to him, I just wasn't sure how.

Opening the viewer, I chose the right recording and watched, feeling stupid at how I had just
turned the camera on without paying attention. It had caught everything from my confession to

needing to have sex with him, to my ambitious dreams about being the next Maureen Maher.

When the sex started, I wanted to turn it off, but I watched for a bit, feeling sexy and beginning to
get a little bit turned on again. My vag would have flipped me off if she could have, but she had no
fingers. Well, none of her own. She had mine and Edward's and she needed to be grateful for all of

the above.

Forcing myself to bypass the intensely hot sexin' that I had inadvertently captured on top of his
life's dreams, I settled on the recording just beyond it when the battery had died. I was thankful

that it had because he may have lost way more footage if it hadn't.

My eyes were met with the face of a middle aged man, dark in complexion and with a head full of
tattered and filthy looking dreadlocks. His teeth were what caught my eye, though: they were
white as white could be. Odd for a homeless man, really. His face was pleasant and he spoke

amicably with James as he led the camera down some abandoned alley.

Laurent.

Edward had briefly told me about the work he was doing on the subject of a homeless man that
chose a life of vagrancy. The entire thing confused me…why would someone want to be a gypsy?
What would make a man decide to live with nothing to his name? No family. No home. No way to

find him.

Even in my receding state of drunkenness it made no sense to me. Perhaps that was why Edward
and James wanted to do the documentary on him so badly. He was charming, in a way. His mouth
smiled more than his eyes but that could be attributed to his pain and misery. He looked haunted

by ghosts of a past that he might never reveal to anyone.

I watched for a good thirty minutes, mesmerized by the man and his stories, and the places he was
showing James or Edward, depending on who was taping which scene I had flipped to. Laurent was

at ease. He was willing to share his story. He wanted these men to know something about him.

My eyes caught something in the frame and I paused it, blinking hard and trying to squint to see

more clearly through my haze. As it focused in on the object, I sat back a little, astonished.

Information clicked through my brain at a rapid pace and I shook my head to clear it. It was the

alcohol. It had to be.

But just in case it wasn't…when I woke up in the morning and looked at the tape again…If what I
saw there now was still there in the morning, I would be going on Edward's next filming session

with Laurent.

And I would definitely secure my place at the station.

Carlisle Cullen had nothing on me.

Chapter 12: He's Just Not That In You

BPOV

"Matt Dylan. Dylan McDermott. Dermott Mulrooney."

Edward eyed me warily from the driver's seat. "What are you doing?"

I smiled into the vanity mirror as I checked my teeth. "I'm doing my warm ups."

"Right."

Flipping the visor closed, I turned towards him and rested my head against the back of the seat.
"Try it. It stretches your lips and gets your vocals warmed up." Batting my eyelashes, I added,

"Then I like to say my favorite words in rapid succession. Diphthong. Sphincter. Onomatopoeia."

His grip on the wheel must have slipped or something because he jerked the car violently to the

right.

"Damn, Wang! Trying to kill me and make it look like an accident?"

Edward corrected the car and let out a howl of laughter. "Your favorite word is 'sphincter'?"

"Only one of them," I chided back, my smile a mile wide knowing I had made him laugh. The
weekend had flown by way too fast, and thanks to my 'give it to me baby…uh-huh- uh-huh'
attitude from Friday night, we had been without sexual contact for the remainder of the weekend.
Seriously, I don't know what I had been thinking. Sure there was booze involved. And sure, I had
seen another woman potentially trying to steal my man, even though she wasn't; and my mind

wanted to tar and feather Alice and then pluck her feathers back out just to tar her again…

So, maybe my little, tiny, itty bitty burst of jealousy had been uncalled for. Either way, the sex was
incredible. And I paid dearly for it the remainder of the weekend. Damn if it didn't hurt to wear

sweatpants, much less jeans or anything else. It literally felt like I had been punched in the labia.

Closed fist, Bobby Brown. Straight to my baby maker.

Yeah, I limped. It hurt like a bitch. And I was not about to put a bag of peas where I … pee.

It left us open for more time to talk and snuggle. And the fact that Edward was actually into
snuggling on the couch, full on spoon-style, made me want to hump him even more. But my Muff
had knit an afghan along with a sleep mask, and was adamant about getting some rest, so I let

her.

Today she was feeling much better, and I was trying my best to calculate a way to get Edward
alone for at least…thirty minutes. Somewhere. My office. The van. On top of the conference room

table…

My knees pressed together as the fantasy began to form in my mind.

Edward's phone rang and he answered quickly. From the tempo and pitch of the words coming
through the speaker, I had to assume it was James. My fantasy disappeared immediately as I

listened to their exchange, trying to pick out little pieces of dialogue here and there.

"James says 'hi'," Edward teased.

I narrowed my eyes menacingly. "I bet he does."

"Tomorrow night. I got it. Tell Laurent I'll be there." He finished up the conversation and sighed,

leaning into the driver's side door as he pressed a thumb to his temple.

"You have a meeting with Laurent tomorrow?" Trying my best to control my voice, I gave my most

innocent 'face'.

"Yeah. We lost a lot of footage, so I'm going to have to spend more time with him. Most of it was
following him around for a couple of days. He did share a few stories that I would liked to have
added into the film, and I'd hate to ask him to repeat them. They're not as fresh that way.
Like…reality television. You know when they're trying to reenact something that's already

happened."

"So, take me. Maybe he'll tell me his stories? And it will be fresh because I'll be a new pair of

ears?"

The car pulled to a halt in the parking lot and he parked it, turning to stare at me. "Really? You'd

want to come and hang out with us?"

I nodded.

"I don't know, Bella. It's dangerous…"

"I'm with you," I reminded him.

"Yeah. You are with me, aren't you?" The twinkle in his eye alerted me to the pride he was feeling

at that statement.

A chuckle gave way to a sigh and he leaned in to kiss me firmly on the lips. His left hand slid into
my hair and he pulled me closer, his mouth unyielding as he slipped his tongue into my mouth and
nipped at my lip. And like the Wang-whore I am, my whole body slid into him and my knees fell
open as I angled myself, seconds away from vaulting myself over the console and straddling his

lap.

His palm had slipped across my shoulder and ribs, headed straight for the neon sign flashing "WET
PANTIES" between my open thighs. I could definitely handle a pre-work, early A.M. fingerbang in
the parking lot. There was very little sweet talking I had to do with my Coon Box. She was in. And

waiting for Edward to be…in…too.

"Shit," he yelled and pulled back from me unexpectedly.

"What?" I asked, my eyes flying open to follow his gaze. When I saw what he was looking at, I
huffed and lifted my middle finger. Stupid Emmett wagging his tongue and pumping his hips as he

smacked the air like it was a plump, juicy ass.

"Busted," Edward chuckled.

Emmett finally stopped his air humping and walked over to my window, pressing his beefy face
against the glass. "Don't stop now, it was just getting good," he snorted, opening his mouth and

doing his best suckerfish impersonation.

"Ugh. I can see your breakfast," I yelled at him through the window and pounded on the glass

lightly to get him to back up. "Didn't your mom teach you to floss?"

He backed away, grinning like the idiot that he was. "What do you see? Pieces of bagel? Or Rose?"

I threw the car door open and nailed him in the thigh. He whimpered and jumped back a foot, his
face scrunching up in pain. "I don't think Rose would like you talking about that, Emmett." I rolled

my eyes and leaned back in to grab my purse from my seat.

"Oh, I'm sure she's okay with it," he guffawed. "You might not want to let her kiss you on the

cheek this morning, though."

Nice. Now I had a visual of Rose getting her daily protein in a non-shake form.

"I won't be sharing any drinks with her today, either. Thanks for the warning." Backwash like that
could have made me throw up my large intestine.

Emmett made another crude gesture and I pushed him away so that I could get by him and next to
the man who had eaten marshmallows out of my belly button this morning.

What? Like you don't like hot chocolate? Well, you would if it had marshmallows in it. And Edward's
tongue attached to the end of them, swirling them around your belly button before…a cold shower

because we had overslept and would be late for work.

Damn. That would be the last time I attempted to cook breakfast while running late just so I could
make a man happy and feel domestic.

I snuck a look at Edward's content expression and sighed like the love struck idiot I was. I was in
so much trouble. I was in so deep. And I was happy.

Go me.

And it was then that I knew I would spend many more mornings making burnt breakfasts for the

man whose fingers were in between mine as we entered the station to start another day.

8==============================================D

I sat at the news desk and swallowed the vomit that seemed to be floating in my esophageal tube.
Carlisle was delivering his first portion of the news, and it was flawless. He was perfect and clean
with his reporting, his voice smooth with an edge of some strange, almost British, lilt to it that

made me think of Madonna when she got married and moved to England.

Edward looked so hot standing behind his camera, focusing his angle on Carlisle's kind eyes and
sharp features. Carlisle's hair was glinting under the lights and the shiny reflective strands were
distracting me. I just wanted to stand up and muss his locks until they were standing straight up

on their ends. Then he would look like Gene Wilder in Bride of Frankenstein.

I smiled a little as I imagined Mr. Cullen holding his rubber gloved hands to the sky and screaming,

"It's ALIVE!"

Mad scientist...Like Carlisle Cullen would waste his God-given good looks in a white lab coat. I
almost snorted out loud at the thought. It was a pretty picture in my head, though: Carlisle as a

doctor. With band-aids and a steady hand for stitches.

"Bella?"

I looked quickly to my left to see him smiling pleasantly. The green light on Edward's camera
caught my attention and I stared at it for a second as the embarrassing pause began to turn into a

humiliating effort on my part to even form a coherent thought. One word. Just...one...word.

My stupid brain had gone into some sort of failure at the thought of Carlisle in a lab coat and I had

lost my place on the teleprompter.

"Sphincter."

My face scrunched up and I popped one eye open to see Edward chuckling, full body trembling as
he tried to hold his composure together at my favorite word flying out of my mouth in a moment of
panic. I pulled in a deep breath and relaxed my face to smile at the camera and caught the rolling
words as they scrolled across the screen. Emmett was chuckling and I could even hear Jasper to

my right as he began to completely lose his cool.

I had no control over myself as the laughter built and I turned bright red from trying to keep it
inside. Instead, I let it overtake me and the tears fell from my eyes as I heaved in a steady breath.

Between Edward's laughter, Emmett howling and Jasper's sputtering, I was gone. Lost to the
hilarity of the fact that I was born to say stupid things.

Even with Carlisle by my side.

With trembling fingers, I wiped my tears away and turned to face Carlisle with a smile. Extending
my hand, I met his gaze and watched as his hand met mine. With a shake, I shrugged and pumped
his palm once. "Welcome to the team."

I turned back to the camera and adjusted my shirt, smiling right into the lens where I knew
Edward was watching me. He had pulled himself together enough to stand up and I gave the last
report of the evening, my cheeks hurting from laughing and smiling so big.

Rose didn't even address it afterwards.

Carlisle appeared perplexed as we exited the sound stage. "Did you really just say 'sphincter' on

camera? And get away with it?"

I shrugged and pressed my fingers to my temple. "Yeah. I did. Makes me relatable to the masses,

don't you think?"

"I think it makes you a liability," he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against

the doorframe that led into the hallway.

With a nod, I dropped my hands to my sides. "I'm sure you're right. If only we could all be like

you, Carbuncle."

"I have always hated that nickname. Even when you used to like me."

My heart twisted slightly in my chest and I looked away, pulling at the edge of my shirt sleeve.
"Yeah, well...that was before you became my competition." Meeting his eyes again, I straightened

my shoulders. "Now, you're part of my team and we have to get along."

His mouth curled into a smile. "I'm not your enemy, Bella."

I snorted and shook my head. "So, you didn't come here to try and take my Lead Anchor spot?"

He was silent.

"That's what I thought." I felt the tears beginning in my eyes and I blinked them back furiously.
The truth was that I looked up to Carlisle greatly, and I hated having to be the pessimistic

conspiracy theorist. But his silence had confirmed my fears.

"It's just the business," he said quietly.

I sniffed and looked down the hall again. "Well, make sure you have an Ace up your sleeve,
Carbuncle." My fake smile was back. "Because I sure do."

8==============================================D

I sat next to Edward in his car as he stared out of the windshield. "You can say no, Muff. If you're

uncomfortable in any way. It's really not necessary..."

Placing a hand on his shoulder, I squeezed lightly. "I screwed up. I'm taking responsibility. And,

also..."

His face moved in the shadows and I caught the way his eyes glinted under the street lamp.

"What?"

My mouth opened to tell him the truth, but I couldn't do it. There was no need to alert him if my
theory was wrong. I'd done enough research to know that I wasn't, though. It was right there on

the film. So instead, I asked a question.

"Do you have logs of the days that you've spent with Laurent?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I'd like to see them."

His mouth pulled into a thin line. "What are you up to?"

I looked beyond him through the glass. "I'll tell you tonight? After we meet Laurent. I promise."

Edward sat still as stone and stared at me in the limited light. "I hate the fact that I can't read your

mind, you know that? It would be much easier if I could."

"Nah. Remember that Mel Gibson movie where he could read ladies' minds? It might have
contributed to his epic meltdown. Trust me...you don't want to be in my head. It's a

very...scary...place."

His mouth twitched a little and he let out a long, exaggerated breath. "Please don't do anything

stupid. Don't get us killed, okay?"

"Edward," I started, my tone completely serious as I angled my upper body over the console, "I
have no intention of contributing to your death. I have lots of ideas and plans for us that span
quite a long stretch of time..." My tongue suddenly felt thick as I watched his smile fall and his face
turn serious. "Unless..." I swallowed what little spit I had in my now dry mouth. "Un...unless you

don't want to...to...ya know...t-t-talk about us like that?"

I've said it before, but Edward Masen's eyes held picket fences and babies and little lab puppies
shitting in my shoes. In such a short amount of time, I had begun to think of these things: With
him. Only him. And I was having little fantasies about watching him grow older, with babies on his
knee and reading stupid shit like Hop On Pop.

Like, I would be making soup or something, and he'd be watching the news and I'd glance over to

see him looking at me wistfully as our children set the table...

Watching the news.

The news.

My head swam with the conflicting images of me being successful and following my dreams...or

having things I'd never wanted before with someone that made me feel ...complete.

His answer didn't need words. He simply kissed me hungrily, pulling me over onto his lap and
tightening his hold on me as we kissed, hot and steamy, fogging up the glass in the car. Apparently

Wang wanted my Muff for an extended amount of time, too.

I couldn't think of forever, though. The concept wasn't something I could wrap my brain around. It
was like trying to imagine what being in Heaven would be like: Every day of Forever. Unending.

Ceaseless.

But, in Edward's arms, that amount of time seemed like a pretty good deal.

There was an abrupt thump on the driver's side window and I jumped in Edward's arms, hitting the
steering wheel too harshly and honking the horn. The person on the other side of the door didn't

move. My hand reached out and I slapped my palm onto the glass, feeling a little Kate Winslet-ish
as I let it slide across the steamed up pane.

What came into view was the blackest pair of eyes I had ever seen, staring into the window with a
strange look on his face. Our eyes met and a chill ran down my spine, making every last pleasant

thought I had leave my mind in a fraction of a second.

My intuition had to be correct. There was no doubt about it because the level of dread that settled

into my spine and up my neck was a sure sign that I was in the presence of danger.

"Laurent," I said with a soft whisper. Struggling to move off of Edward, I shifted my ass back into
my seat and reached into my purse for my mini pepper spray. Quickly, I shoved it into my sock
and adjusted my pant leg back, thankful for the fogged glass and Edward's form blocking my
actions. I settled back into my seat just as Edward was cracking the car door open and saying hello

to the filthy looking man who was still staring at me as if he were hungry.

As if he were sizing me up.

Like a target.

But I wouldn't fit his modus operandi. No, if my gut instinct was correct, and I had actually seen on
the tape what I had pinpointed as the red rope that was being used to kill women all over
Seattle...from prostitutes to business women...then Laurent wouldn't want me as a victim. I was a

brunette. He didn't prefer brunettes.

The Seattle Serial Killer preferred blondes.

And I was about to crack the biggest story of my career if I could prove it.

As a bonus, I would give Edward an even bigger story for his documentary than he had bargained
for. Perhaps, we would get the future I had fantasized about in the car.

All of it.

If I played it cool and didn't let on that I knew.

And, mostly, if we survived the night.

Chapter 13: Theories and Queries

EPOV

Laurent looked uneasy as I exited the car.

"Who is that?" he asked; eyes narrowed with distrust.

"That is Bella," I said and closed the car door behind me only to open the trunk to pull out my
gear. "She's my girlfriend and … she saw some of the interviews we'd done with you over the past

weeks. I told her she could come along and maybe ask you a few questions."

"She's that reporter from the TV," he glared.

I checked my sound equipment. "Yeah. So she's better at interviews than I am." Pausing, I added,

"How did you know she's a reporter?"

He gave me a disgusted look. "Her face is on the bus."

That made sense.

"You feeling okay, Laurent?" I leaned in and pinned his microphone to his dirty jacket. "You're not

usually so…" I chanced a smile, "paranoid."

"Not paranoid," he grumbled and let me finish what I was doing. "I just didn't think you'd be

bringing little…girls...along. Thought you and that James kid wanted 'one-on-ones'."

"It's still one-on-one. I'll just be running the camera." I gave him a reassuring wink and punched
him lightly on the shoulder. Laurent didn't respond, he just turned and walked a few feet away to

the street lamp and leaned against the post.

Bella approached and turned her back to Laurent so he couldn't see her mouth move. "He hates

me already."

"Probably not."

"Really? Then why is he throwing eye daggers at my back right now?"

I chanced a glance in his direction and was surprised to see that she was right. Bella Swan was

way too intuitive for her own good. "He's not," I lied.

She rolled her eyes and shoved her hands into her jacket pockets as I turned her around and
gently pushed her towards where he was standing. He watched us approach warily, eyes trained on

Bella as if he were suddenly defeated.

"Laurent? Meet Bella Swan."

She pulled her hand out to shake his and he shook his head, his shoulders slumping as he turned
and walked in front of us to the alley he had laid claim to as his home. Tattered cardboard boxes
were stacked in corners as well as a shopping cart with his only belongings in it, pushed off to the

side. I noticed Bella making quick glances around his 'home' as he led us in.

Laurent stopped and faced us again. "What are we doing tonight?"

Bella shifted from foot to foot, not quite sure where to focus so she looked at me for guidance.

"I was wondering if you could tell Bella the story of why you left home in the first place. What
brought you here to Seattle?" Shifting my camera onto my shoulder, I turned on the light.

Laurent shielded his eyes from the glare until they had grown more accustomed to the brightness.
"I already told you that story."

"I know, but Bella wanted to hear it."

"So, let her watch the damn video." He was starting to get perturbed and I wondered what exactly

was setting him off so badly.

Bella cleared her throat and he looked at her quickly before staring off above her head. "You don't
have to tell me anything you don't want to," she reassured him. I watched her eyes roam over his
belongings and her attention seemed transfixed by something in his shopping cart. "I mean," her
stare grew glossy and she went quiet for a moment, "if you'd rather this just be between you and

Edward…with James…then I don't want to intrude."

Laurent eyed her suspiciously. "What? Having a change of heart?"

She shook her head and gave a camera ready smile. "No. I can just tell that you're not exactly a
fan of me being here. This documentary is very important to Wa…Edward. I don't want to cause

any unnecessary tension, so why don't I go sit in the car for a while?"

My protective instinct caused my shoulders to tense and I stopped her movement back towards the

car with my hand. "I'm not leaving you here in the car. I can meet with Laurent another time."

Something in her eyes confirmed that we needed to leave. Placing the camera by my side, I turned
off the light and tightened my hand around her upper arm. "I'll come back in a couple of days and
we'll get more film, okay?" Laurent wasn't looking at me but he nodded once, removed the mic to

hand back to me, and then shuffled off to the back of the alley.

He'd never acted so strangely before and I wasn't sure if it was just Bella's presence, but he was
definitely on edge around her. We got back in the car and I loaded my gear before sliding into the
driver's seat and fastening my seat belt. Bella's knees were bobbing uncontrollably and she had her

arms wrapped around herself as she stared out of the still fogged glass of the windshield.

"What was that about?" I asked, trying to get her to look at me by holding onto one of her

fidgeting legs.

She let out a long breath and blinked repeatedly. "I've got a hunch."

"A hunch?"

"A hunch."

"And your hunch is…?"

She finally looked at me and pressed her lips together, filling her cheeks up with air until she

looked like a chipmunk.

"Spill it," I monotoned.

"I…I…I need to see your records of days that you worked with Laurent because I saw something on
the video that you had of him and now I saw the same thing in his shopping cart and I don't know
how you didn't notice it but he has a red rope in that cart and I'm pretty sure that if we match the
days of your filming against days of the killings in Seattle, you'll see that Laurent is most
likely…the…Seattle Serial Killer," she finished breathlessly and closed her eyes tight, popping one

open to take in my reaction.

But I was shocked into silence.

"Say something?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"You thought that he might be a serial killer." My mouth twisted into a frown. "So you asked for me

to bring you with me?"

Her lack of response told me it was true.

I threw the gearshift of my car into drive and slammed on the gas, squealing tire sounds making

me momentarily feel like an extra on the set of The Fast and The Furious.

The first one. Not the ones after it that sucked, okay?

"What? I mean…how would you have expected me to protect you from a serial killer, Bella?" My

hands were gripping the wheel so tightly my knuckles were white.

"He wouldn't do it on camera! Plus, he's killing blondes. And…and…" she sputtered before lifting her
hands helplessly. "You could have knocked him out with your dick! It's like a Billy club in your

pants…I'm not lying."

"I'm not amused."

"How about aroused?"

"No."

"Would you like to be?"

I pulled off the side of the road and parked the car, facing her in the darkness of the quiet cabin.

"You. Think. Laurent. Isaserialkiller?"

"Pretty sure. Yes."

"Because you saw what looked like a red rope in his shopping cart."

"I told you that I like to read about serial killers and true crime. I am pretty attuned to all things
creepy and murderous. This is my 'thing', okay?" She pumped finger quotes.

It didn't make sense. "Why would he agree to be on camera, then?"

She shrugged. "Some of them feel more of a rush when they're in danger of being caught. Or,

maybe he's like The Zodiac and wants to be caught. Maybe he's tired of it…"

I pulled back out onto the road and we rode in silence, back to my apartment. Making sure to open
her car door for her, I ushered her inside and pointed to the couch. "You. Sit." When she had

plopped her ass down I walked over and banged on James' bedroom door.

He opened it and I was met with a thick wall of smoke. Coughing, I waved my hand in front of my

face and told him to meet in the living room as soon as he was able.

That took exactly eight minutes.

"What's wrong?" James asked as he slid onto the couch and let his legs fall open.

"Close your fly," I called, shaking my head in irritation.

Slowly, he reached down and pulled up his zipper and a moment later, Victoria appeared. She

waved lazily at Bella and crept onto the couch, rubbing her face in James' crotch.

"I'm thirsty," she sighed and clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "I want to drink a
thousand orange Fantas. Oh…maybe the grape one. The pineapple one thinks she's pretty but she's

not. I'd throat punch her if I ever saw her in public."

"What?" Bella was legitimately confused.

Victoria sighed loudly and waved her hand at Bella. "Those Fantana bitches with their stupid jet-

skis and whatnot."

"It's a commercial, Bella." My irritation for the situation was growing by the second. And having
Cheech and Chong in the living room while I was hell bent on discussing serious business wasn't
making things any better. "Son of a bitch," I muttered and stood to my feet. Within a minute I had
grabbed two waters from the fridge and a box of Little Debbie brownies for the stoners. Once they

were situated and quiet I began.

"Bella met Laurent tonight. Apparently she had seen the video footage on the camera…"

"Me too," Victoria garbled around her brownie. "You're really flexible, Bella." Her eyes looked
impressed and dropped to the front of my pants. "And I had no idea you were smuggling a baby
elephant in your pants." Her gaze turned to a stare and it began to get uncomfortable as the

silence in the room grew.

"Can you please focus on my words and not my junk?" I asked, grinding my teeth together in

frustration.

"No. Sorry. That needs to go into Guinness or something. That's a record breaker right there." Her
mouth was filling up with brownie and she started to drool out of one side of her mouth.

James tilted his head to the side, "What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged and wiped her face with the back of her hand, smearing brownie juice across her
chin. "I mean, that's not normal. Not like yours…it's all tiny and skinny and, like, 'Heeey. I'm a
dick. A regular ole' dick.' But Eddie boy has Andre the Giant in his Jockeys, and it's all, 'Grr. I'm a

Cock Beast'." She made claws with her hands and pursed her lips as she zoned out. "Cock beast…"

I couldn't even find something witty to retort with.

"Ha…ha ha ha ha ha," James began to laugh and his mouth opened to reveal brownie caked up in

his teeth.

Bella was trying to suppress her laughter and it wasn't helping.

"Everyone stop talking about my Muff Sub and focus. Please?" And just like that, they were all
staring at me attentively. "What? You get to name it all kinds of shit and I don't?" I raised a brow

at Bella and she pressed her lips together, wide eyed as she shook her head no.

"What did Bella see?"

I looked James in the eye and took a deep breath. "She saw what she believes to be a murder

weapon. Used by the Seattle Serial Killer."

The entire room went silent as James and Victoria stared at me with their mouths hanging open.

"He's telling the truth. I saw a red rope on the video and when I met him tonight he was acting
really, really strange. Like he knew that I knew or something. Who he is on camera while talking to
you and Edward is not who he is in real life." Bella's voice trailed off as the other two stared at her

with blank expressions.

"So…he has a red rope?" Victoria finally asked. "That doesn't mean…"

James interrupted her. "We have no real proof."

I sat heavily on the couch and rested my head against the back to stare up at the ceiling.

"We should look through the tapes and see if there's anything you guys might have been oblivious
to. And we can check your logs of days that you were filming him against days that the murders
happened. Maybe there is a correlation between what was said on the tapes and how many people
were killed in a time frame." Bella finally turned gravely serious. "I'd hate to think that my meeting

with him tonight would result in someone else getting hurt."

"And if you're wrong?" James was beginning to slump a little under the gravity of the situation.

"If I'm wrong then no one is the wiser. This stays between us." Bella sighed heavily and offered a
smile. "If I'm right, though…then your documentary just got a whole hell of a lot more interesting

didn't it?"

That was all it took for James to jump up from the couch and spring into action. For the next four
hours he and I pored over the interviews and video, making notes on what Laurent had said about
his past or how he reacted to certain things that would not have been a red flag earlier, yet now

seemed plain as day under meticulous scrutiny.

Victoria helped to match days of our work with days that women had been found and Bella buzzed
between all of us, gathering information from each source as she began to piece things together.
And somewhere around two o'clock in the morning, she called us all into the kitchen to see the
flowchart that she had assembled with random items from our cupboards. She had spaghetti
noodles tracing lines across paper and small cherry tomatoes marking the spots that bodies had
been found in.

"Classy," I said and twirled one around with my fingertip.

"Please don't finger my cherry," she huffed and slapped my hand away.

James settled the camera on the microwave to tape our meeting of the minds. Victoria leaned
against the counter with her container of granola and eyed the lines that were littering the kitchen.
"Explain the spots that don't have food on them," she asked and waved her fingers over a few

blank spaces.

Bella nodded and pointed a slender finger. "These are days that one of the guys interviewed or
shadowed Laurent. You can clearly see that each of your sessions resulted in a death within 48
hours of being with Laurent."

She was right.

James took a closer look, his nose hovering above a couple of the pieces of food marking our crime

scenes. "I don't really understand why he would want to be filmed then?"

I looked to Bella for explanation and she nodded somberly. "I think he's looking for a way to purge
himself of what he's done in the past. But with each new day or night with you, whatever he's
fighting against is getting stronger. It makes complete sense why he would want to live as a
vagrant…have no family or be tied to anything." She made a wide circle with her finger over the
center of the page. "He doesn't feed his beast within five miles of his alley. Every murder has
happened on the outskirts of his comfort zone so as not to draw attention to his home." She
chewed the inside of her cheek while she mulled it over. "I would guess that he actually isn't

destitute. Have you ever noticed how nice his teeth are?"

Thinking over all of our time with him, she seemed to be right. Why hadn't we caught that?

Because we were more interested in him as a subject and not as a real person?

Her theories all made sense and I was at once impressed and pissed. She had enough foresight to
ask me to take her with me, knowing that she was in danger. And yet, once again, she decided to

forego caution and walk head first into something potentially dangerous.

My mind swirled with thoughts of Laurent and how much time I had spent under his spell of spun
tales and woven stories. It was an intricate spider web of deceit that was so inviting in every way
that I had been blinded to his true menacing nature. And Bella had walked into it with the full

knowledge of the danger that awaited us.

He could have hurt us.

Her.

My Bella could have died.

The reality of that thought settled into my gut and I looked at her with new eyes. She wasn't as
much of a bad ass as she pretended to be. No. Bella Swan was clumsy, fragile and small. She put
on a good show, but when it came down to it, her instinct for self-preservation was deeply lacking.

I might have grown up as a movie geek and watched more Mystery Science Theater 3000 than
most guys my age. And I might have spent more time splicing film than playing football with the
idiots I went to school with. But I could protect my girl from harm if it came down to it. Because
Bella Swan might not value her own safety, but I sure as hell did. And I would do everything in my

power to make sure she stayed in one piece.

Shifting my full attention back to her, I crossed my arms and cleared my throat to get her

attention. "Since you're not his type, how do you suggest we go about trying out your theory?"

She was thoughtful for a moment and I knew exactly when the wheels in her mind had turned
enough times to provide an adequate response to my query. Bella had already said that we
shouldn't get the police involved until we had more proof. And from the look that was beginning to

form on her face, it was becoming clear that she had concocted a plan that she was pleased with.

Her eyes lit up and she took a deep breath, speaking only one word. "Rosalie."

Chapter 14: Infectious Affections

BPOV

Hell hath no fury…like Rosalie Lillian Hale pissed off at me.

Her eyes narrowed into the smallest slits I could imagine and I leaned back farther in my chair
hoping that she wouldn't shoot laser beams from them like the naked chicks from The Neverending

Story.

What? Those were the first boobs I saw after my own Mom's…

"You can just say no," I rushed, giving a shrug and hoping that she wouldn't want to.

Rose shook her head in disbelief, pink coloring her cheeks as the vein in her forehead began to
throb. "Hell yes, I can say no." Her face scrunched up and she leaned closer to me across the desk.

"Why would I jeopardize my own well being and safety for this…stupid…theory of yours?"

"Because we could be famous? Think about the press, Rose. Think about the station…what this
could do for your name in the industry. We could set up a sting operation and your name would
forever be associated with a small group of people that helped catch and take down the most

infamous serial killer Seattle has ever had."

The air was still as she simply stared at me.

Voices were suddenly being heard in the hallway and we both turned towards her office door as the
banging began. She jumped to her feet and stood back to let Carlisle in as he waved a piece of

paper in the air, his face lit up with excitement.

"They found another body," he reported breathlessly. "Just about thirty minutes ago." His eyes
flicked back and forth between Rose and the paper. "We need to get a crew down there as soon as

possible."

Rose turned to look at me with her mouth agape.

My expression was openly telling her, 'I told you so'.

8==========================================D

"You don't care that Rose let Carlisle take the lead on that?" Edward looked skeptical.

I shook my head and scribbled a few notes down on my notepad. "No, he can take the lead all he
wants on reporting what we already know. I'm more interested in the final story." Looking up at
him, I tried to convey what I meant in words he might understand. "It's like when you're playing a
game of Clue, okay? You know what you know…because of the cards you've been dealt. And with
each new piece of information you get out of the other players, you feel more confident that it was

Colonel Mustard in the Study with a … red rope."

He just stared at me.

"Should I have used another analogy? Geekier? Maybe show you SpongeBob flash cards?"

"Funny."

"Okay. If Squidward has … no, no, no. If Plankton is going to steal the Krabby Patty secret

ingredient, but Patrick sees him and tells Squidward…"

"Shut up, Muff," Edward chuckled lightly and leaned back in the chair, looking just a tad bit more
relaxed than before. "You're actually going to try and go through with this. I don't know whether
that makes me love you more, or if it makes me want to call the men in the white coats to come

take you away…"

I started to laugh and then stopped. What he'd said starting to filter through my brain. "What did

you say?"

Edward's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. Almost. "White coats?" His Adam's apple bobbed in

his throat.

"Before that."

"Shut up?"

"After that."

"You should be committed."

Leaning across my desk, I pursed my lips and glared. "Committed? To a hospital? Or…to you?"

"NO WAY IN HELL!"

We both snapped out of our Love Bubble at the sound of Emmett slamming my office door open

and yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Calm down, Ass Master." I stood to my feet and watched Edward move from his chair to take a

protective stance between me and the Angry Hulk.

Emmett was practically shaking with rage. He pointed his index finger at me and huffed, "You are
NOT using my Rosie as bait, you … you …" His brain failed him as he tried to come up with an

adequate insult. Instead, he let out a ridiculous sounding, "Gerbenflecht!"

I would need to see if that was German or Swedish for 'whore'.

"Calm down, Emmett." Edward was attempting to be the voice of reason, but I was pretty sure that
all Emmett could hear was a ringing in his ears…or that stabbing sound from Psycho.

Ree

Ree

Ree

Ree

"I would never put her in actual danger, you idiot," I yelled back. "I've got people on the force that
I have already spoken with this morning. My father is an officer, if you remember correctly. So, I
already have some things going on behind the scenes that you don't know about. But thanks for

your incredible lack of trust, Asshole."

"What?" Emmett blinked a few times as what I said seemed to finally make it through the wax in

his ears.

"Shut the door," I hissed and folded my arms as I watched him follow instructions.

He stood by the only portal of escape and crossed his meaty arms across his burly chest, puffing

up like a baby penguin. "Explain."

I sighed and sat back in my chair. "My dad knows people. And I kind of made friends with a certain
Riley Biers after I announced to the entire Seattle Area that he was Top Cock." Throwing a guilty

smile at Edward, I whispered, "We know he's not even close to holding that title…"

"Oh my God," Emmett hollered. "Finish your story and you two can get freaky after I leave."

Edward settled into the seat across from me and leaned in, now suddenly very interested in what I

had to say. "You've already started planning this?"

"Yes," I responded quietly. "No one else should die because we're shuffling our feet…" Addressing
Emmett again, I glared. "Anyway, Riley put me in touch with one of his undercover officers. Officer

Yorkie is setting up an operation as we speak."

"Stakeout?" Emmett's eyes suddenly lit up.

I groaned and planted my hands on my face. "Yes, Emmett. A stakeout. With coffee and donuts.
Does this mean you want to be involved now?"

He gave me a dirty look. "I would have been involved no matter what. That's my woman you're
using to get your killer, Bella. I wouldn't be anywhere else."

Edward cleared his throat. "Did you just call her 'Bella'?"

Emmett looked confused. "Yeah, I guess. Why?"

I choked on a laugh. "Because you didn't call me a nickname or anything derogatory. You just

called me Bella."

His cheeks began to turn red.

"You loooove her," I teased him and made a kissy face.

And much to my surprise, he didn't yell at me. He didn't tell me to shut up or grow up or to get a

life. He simply stared me right in the eyes and nodded once. "I do. So don't get her killed."

8==========================================D

It didn't take as long as I thought it would for Eric to formulate a plan. And while I felt the need to
be focused on my job and the tasks at hand, it was becoming increasingly more difficult as the
hours crawled by. What was the hardest was that it was going to take a few days or more to be

able to set up the 'trap' and put all of our prospective players into place.

Rose actually started to get into it after our initial meeting with Officer Yorkie. I wasn't sure if it
was because he made the sting operation sound so cool, or if it was because he was so cute. He
was tiny, much smaller than Emmett. He had a scruffy beard and dark hair that was longer so that
he could work more freely undercover. Between his flannel shirts and his beanie caps, coupled with

his delicate lady wrists and infectious smile, he was a combination of sweet and grungy.

Like one of those guys who could definitely shave and put on a duck sweater under a blazer and it

would be 'ironic' and 'cute'.

He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the table we were all gathered at, the lot of
us cramped into the secret meeting space. I'd half expected that we'd be blindfolded and made to
say secret passwords in order to enter the building, but we'd just been given an address and told
to arrive promptly. So we did, and that was how we were all waiting for the final instructions from

Eric.

"Edward, you'll need to act as if nothing has changed. Try to remain as unaffected as you can.
You'll need to keep your appointments with him and continue to film the documentary as you
originally intended." Eric scratched at his beard and it made a crunchy sound under his fingertips.

Then he smiled and it made me smile back.

Infectious, what can I say?

"What about James?" Edward asked.

"He can come too if you think he can handle it."

"Probably not," Edward and I said in unison.

Eric laughed while Wang and I stared at each other, slightly baffled and embarrassed at our new

ability to speak the same thoughts and finish sentences.

"So, how do we get Laurent to notice Rose?" Emmett. He looked pissed. He'd seen how Rose was

looking at Eric and swooning on him like he's some sweet British actor that only does Indie films.

Yorkie sighed and offered a look that pretty much said, 'Are you serious'?

"We've gone over that at least twice, Emmett." Rose pinched his leg beneath the table and Emmett

yelped like a puppy.

Rubbing the spot, he mumbled, "I just want to make sure the plans don't change."

"The plans won't change, Emmett." Eric settled his legs on the floor and he leaned forward,
dropping his voice so that Emmett had no choice but to lean in as well in order to hear him. It's an
old trick, but it works. We were all holding our breath to hear what Eric was about to say so
quietly. "I won't let anything happen to Rose. Understand? She's not going to have one hair on that

beautiful head of hers harmed. You have my word."

Emmett looked as if he'd had some sort of lobotomy.

And Rose looked like she was crossing her legs and…that bitch was biting her lip. I guess it was
good thing she would be playing the part of a hooker. She was certainly acting like one at the

moment.

The silence in the room turned to a nervous buzz and static was building until I couldn't take it
anymore. The lack of noise was unsettling and the threesome was staring at each other in some

sort of surreal mental stand off.

Clearly, Emmett was losing.

If he didn't get his wits together, Eric Yorkie might actually steal Rose right out from under his very
own nose.

8==========================================D

The bed was calling to me as I finished up my shower. It had been a long day, and the intense
pressure associated with pulling something this momentous off without a hitch was starting to wear
me down. I was being bombarded with conflicting thoughts: Hoping I was right, for the sake of my
job and reputation. Hoping I was wrong because, while my breakdown of information all seemed to
point to Laurent, it was still possible that I was wrong and Edward hadn't actually been hanging out

with a murderer for weeks now.

Doubt was a sneaky little bastard when he wanted to be.

Entering into the bedroom, I saw Edward staring at the television screen, his face tense and the

attempt at being relaxed failing miserably.

"Hey," I called and stepped in front of the screen, waiting for his eyes to fall on me and adjust.
"What's wrong?"

He shook his head and adjusted himself under the comforter.

"Don't lie, I can tell," I whispered and moved forward to stand at the end of the bed.

"I'm worried."

The words from his mouth felt like a punch to my gut. "Why are you worried? Don't you trust that

I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that nothing happens to Rose?"

Edward let out a sad chuckle. "I know you're doing your best to make sure that Rose is going to be

safe."

"Then what?"

"Then…I don't know." He leaned back onto the pillow and looked up at the ceiling. I wasn't going to

have any of that.

Crawling up onto the covers, I straddled his lap and let my wet hair hang as I leaned over his face.
Cold droplets began to fall onto his cheeks, but he didn't really seem to mind. Instead his eyes

were worried; boring a hole into mine.

"Tell me," I whispered, leaning my hands onto his chest for support.

His hands covered mine, thumbs worrying over my knuckles and grazing the tendons. "It would kill

me if something happened to you."

My smile belied the butterflies in my belly. "Now who's being the pessimist here?"

"I am."

"I know. It's refreshing."

"You're not helping the situation."

I raised an eyebrow, giving my best bitchface. "Oh…well I can certainly try and help any situation
you may be referring to…" Wiggling a little on his lap, I bit my lip coyly, hoping that some sort of
distraction would alleviate his fears.

He fought against the smile that was threatening to surface as his mouth twitched and he clenched
his jaw to hold it at bay. "Not what I was talking about."

"No?" I wiggled harder and made a surprised face when my towel fell open, sliding down my ribs

and pooling at my hips. "Goodness," I joked. "I seem to have lost my towel."

Faster than I thought possible, he had me on my back, pressed onto the bed as he leaned over me,
the blanket tangled between our bodies as he pulled the wayward towel away from me with a jerk.
The smile was in full force now and I silently patted myself on the back for getting it there again.

He really was magnificent when he was happy.

But something else clouded his eyes and I waited, running my fingers through his hair and silently
chanting for him to open up to me as we faced one another in the light of my bedside lamp and the
blue hue of the television.

And I would remember that moment for the rest of my life.

My hair, soaking into the comforter.

The feel of his hair between my fingers.

The pained look in his eyes as he dropped his face closer to kiss me softly. Gently.

The sounds of To Catch a Predator in the background.

A hitch in his voice as he steadied his nerves and parted his lips to whisper, "I would die if you got
hurt, Bella."

"I won't."

"I will kill anyone that hurts you."

"No one is going to…"

His chest expanded as he took a long, deep breath. "I love you…" he said it with such sincerity. Not
confident, but I shouldn't have expected him to be. It wasn't a question, or a fact. It wasn't an
answer to any inquiry I had provoked. It wasn't a man making a statement so that he could get

laid.

And in response, a whole new set of butterflies settled into my stomach and fluttered into my

chest, making it hard to breathe.

It wasn't because he was ridiculously handsome.

It wasn't about the size of his package.

It was the size of his heart. And the size of his love that he had inside of that heart. For me.
Because I knew as soon as he said it, he meant it. With every fiber of his being, Edward Masen

loved me.

He wanted me to be safe. He wanted to protect me…mostly from myself. And now that I could see
the truth in his eyes, it made me nervous. Because for once in my life, I loved someone else
enough that I would walk away from the stupid situations that I constantly put myself in for my

job. My success. My future.

In that instant, my heart flipped in my chest and I saw the white picket fences. I saw the babies. I
envisioned the vacations on the beach and being buried in sand up to my neck by tiny hands with

little shovels and a bright red Edward from being burnt in the sun.

I saw puppies and apple pies…flying kites in parks on sunny days.

I saw all of those things, and I suddenly realized what I was doing by putting myself in danger: I

was hurting Edward. My Wang. The thought alone made me cringe.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, running my hands deeper into his hair.

He blinked rapidly and looked away. "No, it's okay. You don't have to say it back. I just wanted you
to know…"

I sat up quickly, narrowly avoiding hitting him in the face with my forehead. "No!"

Edward startled and rolled off of me to avoid being hurt. "Really. It's not a big deal."

My brain was about five seconds behind my mouth and I struggled to find the words I was so
desperately trying to say. "I'm not sorry that you said that you love me, you moron." Clapping my
fingers over my face, I winced and internally kicked my own ass for being so stupid. After a
moment of breathing through my nose, I let my hands fall to my lap and opened my eyes to take
Edward in.

A bemused expression rested on his face and I couldn't help the strange sigh that escaped my lips.
It was half laugh and half exasperated sob at my own idiocy. Crawling back into his lap, the towel

long forgotten and all noise fading into the background, I held his face in mine.

"I'm sorry that I've made you worry."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'. Why would you think I wouldn't say it back?"

His eyes widened and he chuckled. "Well, you haven't yet…"

And it was exactly how I envisioned that it would be. Messed up and laced with word vomit. Stupid
things coming from my mouth as he declared his love for me. But instead of straightening my
shoulders and giving a camera ready smile; or repeating words that I had read a million times as if
they were being fed across a teleprompter, I closed my eyes and felt the freedom of saying what I

absolutely felt inside of my heart. From the top of my head all the way down to the tips of my toes.

"I love you, Edward."

Our mouths collided and I melted into him, feeling weightless and full at the same time. We were a
mess, he and I. But it was a beautiful mess. And I hoped above all hope that I wouldn't do
anything to screw up what we had, because I hadn't found it before him and I certainly had no

intention of ever trying to find it again.

Chapter 15: Either Way it Starts With 'A'

BPOV

Eric had us all in place. It was so cliché, but we were actually half a block away from the alley

where Rose had been hanging out throughout the week. In a van.

"I wanna be on you…"

I rolled my eyes and turned to sigh loudly at Emmett. "Why are you watching Anchorman?"

"To pass the time," he mumbled and shifted uncomfortably to lean against the back window,
adjusting his iPhone on his lap. "Trust that I'd rather be hiding in a garbage can waiting for Laurent
to get within an inch of Rose, but instead I'm in here with you." His eyes lifted to my face in

irritation. "So hand me another donut and refill my coffee, why don'tcha?"

I flipped him off and turned back around to fold my arms over my chest. Edward was leaning up
into the front of the van to speak with Eric. They were watching for any signs of movement and
discussing the cameras and other undercover sound equipment that had been placed around the

alley where Rose was currently leaning against a broken lamp post in all of her hooker glory.

White patent leather calf boots.

Ripped flesh colored fishnet stockings.

The tightest and shortest hot pink dress I had ever seen in my life.

And her corn silk hair held onto the side of her head in two school-girl type braids.

She was Pollyanna the Whore.

Emmett had muttered more than one expletive that rhymed with 'duck' when she'd originally
stepped out of the changing room. But Eric had smiled at her in that impish way of his and told her
that she looked great.

It led me to wonder if he liked call girls or just had a crush on Rose.

We'd gone over and over the plan. Eric had prepped her for what would happen if Laurent actually
approached her this evening. He'd even gone through a few defense moves to help her fend him
off if he got too close for her liking. It wasn't like we actually wanted him to be able to strangle
her, after all. We wanted to bait him and in and let him get close enough so that he would be

attempting the act and not succeed.

You say entrapment…I say shut the hell up.

After much debate, we had decided to let James work the sting operation with us. He was in
another van parked discreetly two blocks over, manning the cameras and footage. Victoria had
obviously felt the need to tag along and I felt a full body shudder rock my body wondering what

kind of auto detailing they were going to have to do after the two of them left the van.

There was no doubt that some bodily fluids and cannabis buds would be found in the seats.

Edward shifted back next to me in the seat and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "I don't see
any sign of him. I'm starting to think that he's not going to show up. Like he can smell us or

something…" His knee was bouncing up and down and he looked beyond agitated.

"Fine by me. I'd rather take my girlfriend home and screw her into a coma," Emmett said as loud

as he possibly could without shattering the windows.

"Nice territory piss," I snorted and leaned back to give him another dirty look. "What the hell?" My
eyes slammed shut and I turned back around abruptly at the sight of him yanking his pant snake

out of his zipper and resting it on the lid of his coffee cup.

"What? I gotta take a piss. Want me to get out of the van?"

I gagged and pressed my lips together, holding my nose as the scent of piss and coffee filled the
air. He made an exaggerated 'aaahhhh' sound before thwacking his junk against the lid of the cup

and letting out a fart.

Edward stared at me with his mouth agape. "I can't even…just…what…"

Emmett's unwashed hand clamped down on Edward's shoulder and he leaned over the back of our
seat to smile like an idiot between our faces. "You need to relax, Edward. Office Yorkie says he has
all of this under control." The tone of his voice was just the tiniest bit condescending.

Eric turned to eye Emmett warily. "You're more than welcome to sit with James in his van."

"Nah. I took an Ativan. I'm fine right here." I heard him digging in his pocket and he held out a

small round pill in his palm. "Need one?"

Edward didn't even blink. He grabbed the pill and popped it into his mouth, swallowing it dry. I
watched in amazement as he silently turned his attention back to the window so that he could

continue his interrupted focus on Hooker Gate 2010.

8=========================================================

===================D

Less than thirty minutes later, Eric suddenly sat up a little straighter in his seat, peering through

the fogged up window and opening his phone quickly to make a call. "Target is making approach."

Every last hair on my body stood at attention and my heart flew to my throat. Eyes wide, I slipped

my hand onto Edward's knee and squeezed. "This is it."

He turned to address me slowly, his head seeming to move at half of the speed it usually would.

Blinking a couple of times, he squinted his eyes and focused on me. "Huh?"

"Laurent. Eric thinks he's here," I started before I noticed how big his pupils were.

Edward frowned. Lifting his hand he swatted at the air next to my face. "You have birds."

"What?"

He leaned in closer, wobbling a bit as his hand swatted out again. "You don't see those birds,
Muff?" His face was incredulous. "They're on your…face." And with that he palmed my forehead,
shifting me back against the seat with the kind of strength I always pictured that Lenny had in Of

Mice and Men.

"Oh, shit," I breathed as Edward crawled into my lap, letting his face hover dangerously close to

mine. "Tweet tweet little birdies," he sing-songed as his eyes roamed my face in a lazy trail.

"What the hell is he doing?" Eric whispered frantically, trying to stay focused on Rose and being

distracted by Edward suddenly mounting me in the middle seat of the van.

But I couldn't answer because Edward was…licking my face.

Emmett shoved his way over the two of us, crushing me even deeper into the seat in the process.

"That doesn't look like Laurent. That dude is wearing a suit."

Eric nodded emphatically. "I know. But it's definitely him."

Over Edward's labored breathing I could faintly hear the audio of Rose as she spoke with Laurent.
It was definitely his voice. Definitely the same tone and quality, but he sounded much more
polished and refined than he did on any of the videos I had watched or even when I had met him in

person.

Struggling under Edward's weight, I slipped my phone out of my pocket and, as gently as

possible…kneed him in the gut to get him off of me.

He folded in half and slid to the floorboard as I sat up and took a much needed breath. Pushing my
hair back from my face, I frantically made a phone call to Riley. He answered almost immediately
and I whispered that I needed him to verify whether or not we had missed that the person we were

looking for was a businessman.

Edward crawled back up onto the seat and pulled my phone from my face, staring blankly at the
screen as the blue light shone in his face. "I don't like this game," he huffed, running his long

fingers sloppily over my keys.

"It's not a game…"

"Is too. See the way it's all 3-D and shit? Ugh…" He squinted into the screen.

"What the hell did you give him?" I hissed at Emmett.

He didn't even turn around to look at me. "Ativan."

"Ativan doesn't make you act like a crack head," I ground out between my teeth.

Suddenly Emmett turned to face me, the color instantly draining from his face. "Oh…shit." Digging

into his pocket he pulled out another pill. "Nope. That was an Ambien. My bad, dude."

"Ambien?" I clapped my hand over my mouth as the pitch of my voice grew louder. "You asshat!

Ambien? Why would you even carry that in your pocket?"

Emmett shrugged. "I take one when I spend the night with Rose." He smirked in Eric's direction.

"Ativan. Ambien. Either way it starts with 'A'."

And that's about the time everything got completely out of hand.

"I wanna motorboat your knockers," Edward slurred and grabbed a palm full of my right breast.

"Not now," I mumbled, pissed off at Emmett for making Wang so incredibly idiotic during a time
when he needed to be alert. But he ignored me and pressed his face between my boobs and tried
to do that 'pbbt' with his lips, except they were dry from the Ambien and instead he made a fart

sound on my skin. Which made him laugh like a five year old.

And that made Emmett laugh like a five year old.

Which somehow made both of them have to pee and before I could grab onto the back of Edward's
shirt, he was throwing the van doors open and shouting about how everyone needed to make room
for his Dongzilla because he was going to relieve himself and that everyone should just stay calm

and not look at it.

His voice carried up the alleyway and as I scrambled out of the van, I saw Rose being shoved
against the side of the building, her arms flailing as the unmistakable thick dread locks of Laurent

twirled into the air and he pulled her into the darkness of the passage.

So, Edward was pissing to my right and Rose was being abducted to my left and suddenly Emmett
was leaping from the van but Eric was faster and they were tearing after Rose. The panic in my
chest hit an all time high as I debated on whether or not to hog tie Edward and lock him in the van

for his own well being.

But I didn't even have time to react before red and blue flashing lights were tearing down the
street and half a dozen officers jumped from their respective cruisers, guns pointed and screaming

for Laurent to let Rose go.

Everything happened so fast, not like in the movies when they show the slow motion shot of the
bad guy dropping his gun and landing on his knees. It was as if little flashes of…everything…were

popping off around me.

Sirens and lights.

Screaming and the unmistakable sound of someone getting the shit beat out of them.

I saw a cloud of smoke in the distance and saw James running at us, his eyes wide as Victoria
lagged behind and they stared in dumbfounded disbelief, passing a water bottle between each
other, as we witnessed Laurent being hefted towards the police cars, his wrists handcuffed behind

his back and his head tucked into his chest.

Rose being carried out of the alley by Emmett who was cradling her to his chest protectively.

Eric gripping Laurent's arm and seeming to spit harsh words into his ear as he dragged him to an

awaiting cruiser.

And…Edward. Edward stumbling forward, weaving from side to side as he attempted to approach
Laurent. I broke into a run to try and catch up with him, listening as he yelled unintelligible things

to the man being carted off.

"Stop!" An officer screamed as Edward approached and Eric yelled back to let him through. I half
expected that Edward would attempt to try and take Laurent's face off like it was a mask, and for

the fake-vagabond to say that he could have gotten away with it if it weren't for us meddling kids.

Instead, he tripped a little on his feet and stopped directly in front of the man he had spent so

much time with, gazing at him with glazed eyes and a forlorn expression.

"You're a bad man," my sweet, hallucinating, barely lucid Wang said. And I could see a tiny

fragment of what he might have looked like as a child.

We were going to make severely beautiful babies one day.

"Never said I wasn't," Laurent replied, looking…partially relieved. It was as if he could finally
breathe. "That's why I let you follow me. I thought I could stop, but it never stops, Edward. It

never stops."

Eric gave me a sympathetic look and nodded silently for me to take Edward back to the van. But as
we turned towards the vehicle we had all abandoned so quickly, I saw it speeding away. Emmett's
hulking form was tearing away from the scene, his only concern being that of taking care of Rose.

Because that man truly, truly loved her.

He saved her life.

He swept her away to care for her and make sure that she was okay.

And while I knew that Laurent hadn't been able to really lay a harmful hand on her, I was

concerned.

Of course, not as concerned as I was for Edward at the moment. He leaned into me and sighed
heavily. "I wanted to drive home…"

"No way," I half laughed and half sobbed, the enormity of the situation suddenly hitting me full
force.

We'd done it.

We'd.

Done.

It.

My eyes tried to focus on the street in front of me when I first heard the news vans screeching to a
halt on the other side of the embankment, anchors and cameramen spilling from every vehicle,

scrambling for a good place to report from.

And I barely had time to register the names of the stations as I felt Eric rush up behind us and

usher us to a running cop car, shooing us to get into the back seat together.

It was surreal, but I didn't have the need to jump out of the car and get the story. I knew it

already. I'd lived it in that moment.

And it hit too close to home.

In my periphery I could see Carlisle setting up in his chosen spot and I heard him directing his
cameraman with an excited voice, thinking he'd gotten the story of the year. I covered my face
and tried to shrink into myself, becoming invisible in the backseat of the car as Edward sat beside

me and looked at the overhead light in confusion.

He pressed it, over and over and over trying to get it to turn off. And he slurred the entire time. I
crossed my legs and realigned my hands over my face as I tried to figure out how everything had

gotten out of hand so very fast.

"Edward," I muttered from beneath my hand. "Please stop trying to turn the light off while the car

door is open. It won't work that way…"

Officer Yorkie slid into the front seat, slamming the door shut and rocking the cruiser back and

forth.

The overhead light dimmed and faded, finally cloaking us in blackness. Edward sighed in

satisfaction. "You jus' gotta push push push it 'til it stops, mmkay?"

I cringed and pressed my palm to my forehead more forcefully as the camera lights blazed outside
of the car window. And the last voice I heard was Carlisle's as he delivered the news to the waiting

audience of the Eleven O'clock News.

Taking Edward's hand in mine, I pulled him closer and shifted to let him lay his head down in my
lap. He snuggled his face closer to my thighs and sighed happily as I ran my fingers through his
hair. The silence in the car was thick and wrapped itself around me as I watched the road back to
my apartment come into view. The darkness did nothing to help the new epiphany I'd experienced

in my soul that evening.

"She'll be okay, right?"

Eric's eyes met mine in the rearview. "She elbowed him in the throat. He'd barely had time to pull

the rope on her. She'll be fine, Bella. Rose is tough."

He was right. Rose was tough. And so was I, but in a completely different way. Where she was
actually tough, I was just…thick. Thick headed. Stubborn. One track minded.

Chancing a glance down at the man drooling onto my jeans in my lap, I took an immense breath,
filling my lungs with the sweet night air. With his scent. With the cold hard truth.

I couldn't have it all.

I couldn't be dedicated to my job and to Edward. If I stayed in my position I would be constantly
jockeying for the next big story. I would put myself in danger without a thought. I would put my

needs before others again and again.

And if I planned on being with him forever…and having that crazy ass family of little mini Edwards,
who would probably share their father's affliction of having a third leg, along with the white picket
fence and shoe shitting puppies, then I couldn't do this anymore.

The realization didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would. And though tears fell from my eyes
under scattered city lights as we whizzed through the city, I couldn't feel heaviness in my heart.

There was no sadness. There was just…freedom.

Carlisle Cullen could have it. He could have the Lead Anchor position. His wife Esme could worry
endlessly about where he was and if he was going to be in danger. His son Teddy would miss out
on spending ample time with his father while Carlisle chased the next serial killer that began to

terrorize our fair city.

I just wanted …this.

Looking down at Edward's profile in the darkness of the car, I smiled. A real, honest to goodness

smile. And no one was watching.

It was kind of a big deal.

Chapter 16: A Bajillion Little Pieces

EPOV

I took my glasses off and rubbed my thumb and forefinger over the bridge of my nose, massaging
there while I took a moment to gather my thoughts. Placing my glasses on the small stand that I

was leaning on, I opened my eyes to address the room again.

"Laurent later tried to retract his statements made to the police the night he was captured. It
became increasingly clear that he suffered from some sort of antisocial personality disorder. And he
was both in control of his actions and not at the same time. His 'need' to punish these women

came from his hatred of his own step-mother, Irina.

"She'd abused him for years and was murdered when he was teenager. Laurent felt that he'd never
been given the satisfaction of killing her himself. He'd wanted to watch her die. But it never really

seemed to be enough for him.

"He'd started slowly, after he'd finally gotten up the courage to attempt his first kill. But his status
and family name in Alaska made it difficult for him to do anything without notice. And he said that

women were too easy there." I stopped and blinked out into the crowd.

"It's why he became a vagabond. Taking all of the money he had, he staged a robbery and made it
look like he was killed in a car crash. Then he went out into the darkness and began trying to
silence the voices in his head." I shrugged, attempting to look solemn instead of jittery. "It failed.
Time and time again he would see Irina in one of his victims; they always looked the same. They
were tall and blonde and good looking. And since Irina was a prostitute when Laurent's father
began to see her, and turned into a trophy wife afterwards, Laurent had no qualms about killing

any of them. They were all the same in his eyes.

"Eventually, he did confess to over thirty murders, spanning from Alaska, through Canada and
finally into Seattle. He found that being invisible in the U.S. meant being homeless." There was a
quiet tittering in the room as I let that sentence sink in. "He wasn't, though. And that's how he
lured his targets. He would live under the radar during the day and dress nicely to rent a hotel
room like a businessman travelling through the area. He would approach the victim, in his suit and

tie, looking harmless and yet being the world's most dangerous predator.

"Hookers were easy. Business women walking at night seemed to think he was being helpful if he
asked to help them to their car. And he knew eventually he would get caught. He was becoming

sloppy and careless."

A hand rose in the audience and I cleared my throat to address them. "Yes?"

"Do you feel responsible for the increasing number of deaths during the time that you filmed

Laurent?"

My head tilted as I thought it over. "One part of me does. And the other part knows that if we

weren't there that night, more would have died."

There was a choked giggle from the front row and I made eye contact with the offender. She
shifted a little in her seat and pressed her pen top between her teeth, biting it lightly as she

blushed up at me.

"Did you have a question? Something you'd like to add?" I squinted my eyes in what I hoped was a

challenging manner.

She straightened her shoulders and adjusted her open notebook in her lap, pages covered in notes.
Glancing down quickly, she looked pensive. "I do have a question. After seeing your documentary,

it is obvious that you care deeply about your subject matter."

"Both my partner and I do care, very much." I smiled at her and she smirked.

"Is that why you were sleepwalking through the bust?"

There was a pause as the air in the room went still and you could actually hear people shift in their
seats to look at the two of us squaring off.

My right eyebrow lifted as I fought back the smile that was making my cheek twitch. "Do you have
some sort of insider information, Miss…?"

She grinned back, her cheeks now a full bloom of pink. "You could say that." Clearing her throat
she tapped her pen against her laminated credentials. "I get paid to dig up dirt." Seattle Secrets
danced daintily across the name tag and she blinked her eyes in what I imagined was supposed to

a flirtatious manner.

Pursing my lips I gave her a half smile. "No dirt to dig up here. It's all in the footage." Turning back
to the audience, I waved my hand in her direction. "Please excuse my fiancé. She's new at this and

can't stop being a news reporter instead of an investigative journalist."

The room erupted in laughter and I turned one last time to see Bella smiling widely as she
scribbled down more notes and shook her head in obvious embarrassment. Her lower lip rested

between her teeth as she lifted her head again, laughing along with everyone else.

After the Q & A, James and I stayed in the theater to talk to a few other reporters and some
distribution companies about our documentary. Sundance was the next step for us before we could
find wide release and from the reception we had received after the showing, things were definitely

looking up.

8================================================D~~~~~~~~

~~

BPOV

I settled into the bathtub of our suite, feeling pretty damn good about the way that things had

happened after that fateful night with Laurent.

Inevitably, it was life changing for everyone involved. Even James and Victoria seemed to be

smoking up less and less over time.

I'd made my decision that night in the police car ride back to my apartment. If I wanted to stay in
my profession and make a name for myself, it would have to be in another way. Chasing the next
big story like that had been much more eye opening than I thought it would be. I had dreams and

there wasn't any part of me that wanted to let those go.

But I also knew without a shadow of a doubt, that Edward was the only man I wanted for the rest

of my life.

So, what was I supposed to do?

The following week I walked into work and met with Rose, checking in on her for the ten
thousandth time in the space of a few days. And she seemed to be okay. Like really, really okay.
Maybe some women would have become hardened and angry, but it wasn't like that for her. She

became just a tad bit softer.

Emmett became more attentive and the two of them were quickly becoming glued at the hip. It
was like, once he'd saved her, he knew exactly how much she meant to him. He saw what a

treasure she was and he didn't intend to let her go.

Which was why it came as no surprise that, by the end of the week, he was in the middle of one of
his sportscasts, and he got all jittery, spilling his coffee in his lap. And when he leapt up to pull the
burning hot liquid soaked fabric away from his thighs, he shook his pants out and a gorgeous

platinum band with a massive diamond flew out of his pocket.

It was slow motion as all of us turned in our seats and watched it soar through the air, catching
prisms and shining sparkles across the soundstage. Edward had moved the camera to run after it
as it was looking like it could go wayward at any moment, and Emmett propelled himself off of the
side of the desk in order to fly through the air for it. They collided somewhere in the middle, a huge

smack of man meat slapping together as they grunted and rolled to the floor.

Emmett sat up, gasping for air, victorious as he held the ring above his head. Edward rolled,
laughing and flipped him off as he stood and then dropped his hands, crossing them at his wrists to

assist Emmett in getting up off of the floor.

But Emmett only pushed up onto one knee. And stared at Rose. Then, without more than a simple,
"Rose, baby?" She was flying towards him, her arms open and clipboard of paper flying wildly up

into the air as they embraced.

I turned excitedly to smile at Jasper and noticed Carlisle looking a bit put out. Turning towards
Camera 2, he made a hand motion. "Randy, start the prompter."

And without congratulations to Rose and Emmett, Carlisle began to report the days' news. Just like
that. As if nothing newsworthy was going on right in front of our faces. I stared at him in disbelief

as he finished up his piece and then turned to nod to me in an effort to get me to follow his lead.

Instead, I looked him in the face and snorted. Loudly. Like a pig.

"I'm out," I said with a smile. Shifting back from the anchor chair, I rolled it backwards and spun
around in it once before jumping off of it and letting it careen towards Jasper, hitting the green
screen before it stopped.

Taking my lapel mic off, I held it out in front of my face and stared out towards the cameras.
"Seattle. You're my city. My life. I love every last wet inch of you. Every tight tunnel. Every orifice."
My eyes grew wide. "Office. Shit. Every office and building and … I just want to know more about
you, Seattle. More than what we get told. Aren't you tired of being told what we tell you? Don't you

want to know more?" I smiled. "I do. I want to know everything about you."

Rose's features were slack as she watched me rant on live TV.

"You have secrets, Seattle. I wanna know them. Good news and dirty little behind the scenes shit.

That's what I want to see."

I'd turned to leave but before I did, I pivoted towards Carlisle and yanked out the useless little

Burger King crown that Emmett kept under his news desk.

"You win," I had whispered, placing the bent cardboard on his head.

Once news got out about my involvement in Laurent's case, I was swarmed with offers. It was
actually a bit too much at first, but once I knew exactly what I didn't want, it made it easier to

narrow down what I did want.

I wanted Edward.

I wanted a future with him.

I wanted to still be able to work, but have it be scheduled and there would be no competition over
our stories because we would be looking deeper and focusing more on things that the news only

gave five second blurbs to.

From entertainment gossip reports in the city to following up on leads to help police and other
news channels get the information that they needed. It was a little bit of everything, but I would
call the shots. I would work to get the truth out to people in the only way I knew how.

So, a show had been developed that kind of merged 48 Hours and Entertainment Tonight together.
And I enforced a set schedule while I had other people burning the midnight oil to get me stories to
report. From behind my own mahogany desk. With my fancy hair extensions and heels that were
too tall and dresses that I only got to wear once because that designer wanted to be seen with me

in it.

So, I had become the Mary Hart and Maureen Maher hybrid of Seattle television.

And I had never been happier.

"You're going to prune," Edward's soft voice called from where he was leaning in through the
bathroom door.

I opened my eyes and smiled widely at him as I shifted up a little in the tub. "It's still warm.
Wanna join me?"

Like he'd say no. Pfft.

He was naked in less time than it took for me to make room for him amidst the bubbles. Edward
sank into the water and sighed satisfactorily as it sloshed out over the side of the tub. His knees
poked above the waterline and I giggled, pulling on the back of his legs to pull them as straight as
I could. He rested his head on the back of the tub and closed his eyes and my stomach flip flopped

for the millionandtwentieth time.

He never knew how great he was. Ever. And I think that's what made me love him even more.

"We got a deal," he murmured up towards the ceiling.

"Yeah?" I asked quietly, waiting for it to sink in for him. Taking one of his long feet in my hands, I

began to knead his arch slowly.

"Yeah," he sighed.

It had been a long year, but it was paying off beautifully.

"So I'm going to marry a famous documentarian, huh?"

He lifted his face and grimaced. "No. Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that."

I stopped rubbing his foot and narrowed my eyes.

Edward gave that smirk of his and sighed. "I'm too good for you now."

My thumb instantly dug into his foot. He yelped and yanked his foot away. "Are you? Better than
me, cameraman? You sure?" I raised my eyebrows. "I guess I could always call up that Jenks guy.
I bet he'd like your secondhand Muff." Pursing my lips, I went in for the kill. "Plus, he's got his own
show on MTV."

Edward lunged at me in the water and I tried to scramble away, but he caught me, suds flying into
the air and more water escaping in a wave over the side of the tub. He wrapped his arms around

my ribs and settled me into his lap, holding his mouth an inch from my ear.

"Jenks, huh?"

I nodded in defiance. "Or that guy from Catfish? Clearly he's hard up for love if he believed that
shit about the girl on the internet." Pulsing my ass into his lap, I stifled a moan. "Speaking of
hard…up…"

His arms relaxed a little as the weight of his erection throbbed against my back and slid higher.

Holy shit. It was totally like those little toys we used to get as kids. The ones you put in water and

they grew a thousand times the original size?

Edward grunted a little as I slid my ass cheeks up to cradle his girth and settle back down.

"Hmm, what other documentarian hotties could I call since mine just threw me to the curb?"

He pretended to think. "I may have Michael Moore's number…"

"Aww, dammit, Wang! Why did you say that? You know that's a mood killer. How do you even still

have a boner?" I slapped my hand on the top of the water with agitation.

Edward chuckled and moved his face to the side of mine, lifting his warm, wet hand to gently scoop
a pile of bubbles from my nose. "I still have a … boner …because my hot as hell fiancé is sitting in
my lap. Wet. Naked." His lips touched my jaw gently. "She smells like fruity girly stuff. And," his
open palm trailed upwards across one of my buoying boobs, "she has this awesome rack that really

needs proper attention at the moment."

I sighed and bit my lip as he began to play his thumb across the extended nub while trailing slow,
soft kisses over my neck and shoulder. Slipping a hand up to his neck and into his hair, I anchored

myself as his other hand descended the opposite direction to delve between my thighs.

Legs automatically fell open.

Back arched.

Butt rose up higher.

That is what this man's touch did to me. He was my Gepetto.

Ew, no. No.

He was sexier.

He was... Whatever.

He was rubbing my clit.

Bracing my unoccupied hand on his thigh, I gasped and felt my legs stiffen up as he breathed
heavily into my ear and teased along my now aching sex. All laughter and joking subsided as we
melted into each other, breathing long, deep breaths as he continued to dance around my sweet

spot.

"You know," he whispered as his middle finger hovered above my clit, "I would never be done with

you."

I nodded and watched his hand below the bubbly bathwater as he finally slipped one finger inside
of me with precision. "Oh, I know that." I tilted my face to capture his lips with my own. "Because

it's the same for me."

Reaching into the water for my hand on his thigh, he lifted it up into the air and towards his face so
that he could kiss my ring finger as he continued to tease me below. And his touch was perfection,
but the look of contented love in his eyes was what undid me. It was the same look he'd had in his

eyes the night he proposed.

Just us.

We'd sat on our bed and he'd pulled it from his pocket and simply said that I was it for him. And for

once in my life, I simply shut up and said yes.

I shifted my weight off of him and he released his grip on me as I turned towards him in the water,
maneuvering myself until I was straddling his lap. His knees cradled my back and the sides of the
tub anchored my legs as I sank down slowly onto his awaiting cock. Our bodies knew one another.
There was just us, sloshing in the water, bubbles poufing into the air as I settled, encasing him

inside of me.

Face to face.

Foreheads touching.

I kissed his lips and wrapped his hair around my fingers as I looked him in the eye. Mouth slack.
Pupils dilated. He shuddered and assisted me with his hands under my ass. Slow. Steady.

We connected every damn time. Whether it was hot and needy or soft and sensual, it was
inherently us.

Sliding up again, I rolled my hips a little on the way down and he gasped. Apparently watching
porn could teach me a few new tricks that my man liked. His fingers dug into my cheeks with a

tenacious pain and I whimpered, pulling his face to mine for a deep kiss.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered against his damp skin. And he said it back to me again and again
as I rode him slowly. The space between us was nil and it was so intimate, every last part of me

that needed to touch him did.

The water allowed me to slide against him more fervently, my clit rubbing against his pelvis as my

breasts trailed up and down. I never let him go. He never loosened his grip.

And as I opened my eyes to look into his before my entire body lit on fire, I looked head on into my

forever.

It was good.

It was going to be very, very good.

Chapter 17: Epilogue - Apples Fall From Trees

BPOV

I checked my watch one last time and huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. He was going to be
late.

A hushed apology could be heard from my right and I glared at him as he came down the aisle.
Sitting down next to me, he pulled a ridiculously expensive camera from its bag and began to pull

out a new lens.

"You almost missed it," I hissed.

He shrugged and attached the lens to the camera. "Leah got out of the fence. I had to chase her
half a block and fight off the Dwyer's dog because he was humping her." Edward smiled a dashing
grin. "But I'm here now."

Leah. That damn Adidas shitting, Manolo eating bitch. I should shave her out of spite.

The lights in the auditorium dimmed and I snuck my hand over the armrest to take hold of
Edward's. He smiled and let our fingers link as the small blue curtain pulled back to reveal our son
on stage, dressed as a pilgrim.

The other children were dressed as Indians and pilgrims, turkeys and trees. The Thanksgiving
production at his school was a really big deal, and Garrett was so excited to play the main
character. I'd even made his costume and everything. Domesticity came much more easily than I

had anticipated.

The children all stood in their places, looking at Garret as he turned to face the audience. As he
finally planted his feet and raised his head to speak his first lines, I watched in horror as his eyes

grew three times bigger than usual.

Silence filled the room and I could hear his teacher whispering offstage, trying to prompt him for

his first sentence.

And when he opened his mouth, I beamed with pride. He was totally my child.

Garrett's mouth opened wide and he lifted his hands in defeat. "Shit! I forgot my line."

Edward choked back a laugh and zoomed in on our son's face as he tried to keep his camera

steady with shaking shoulders.