Bad News Bella by 107yearoldvirgin

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6156941/1/

Preface: Bad News Bella

BPOV

"We regret to report that the shit was lost at sea."

I stopped, my eyes growing wide as my mouth snapped shut.

"Ship."

Too late.

"Shit. The ship."

Silence in the studio.

"The ship was lost at sea."

Rose hung her head and covered her face with her clipboard. My co-anchor,
Tyler, collected his papers and shuffled them into a pile, clearing his throat a
little.

And Edward chuckled behind the camera as he zoomed in for a close up of my
mortification.

1: Seattle's Sweet Tart

BPOV

I hate this office. I hate this copier. I hate…my…life.

Okay, I'm clearly being a wee bit overdramatic. I don't hate my life. This job is
my dream.

But I do, in fact, hate this mother effing copier from Hell that was handcrafted by
Satan himself.

Please scan badge_

"I just did," I muttered and swiped my card again.

Beep.

Please scan badge_

Gritting my teeth, I scanned it again, shaking my head at how ridiculous these
machines were.

Beep.

Please scan badge_

"Oh my God! I just scanned my badge, you asshole!" I screamed and slapped the
top of the feeder and kicked the base with my foot. Searing pain shot up my leg
and I bit my lip to stop the sob that was lodged in my throat. "Mother of a
whore…" I sniveled, hopping on one foot as I tried to alleviate the pain in my now
bruising toes.

"Ooh," a voice called to me from the doorway and I closed my eyes in
exasperation. "Forgot you were wearing open toed shoes?"

I settled my foot back down and took an irritated breath before turning to face
him. "It doesn't speak well of your manliness to know that these are 'open toed',"
I retorted, using air quotes.

He laughed again and sort of slid towards me to take a look at the machine. I say
'slid' because he was so fluid in his movements it was like watching a liquid
apparition floating across the floor.

It was stupid. Just like his face. And his smile…that half-smirk-I'm-not-laughing-
with-you-I'm-laughing-at-you thing he always did that made his eyes go squinty
and his ears pull up farther against his head. Those pretty little pixie ears and
stupid hair…

Gently, Edward took the paper I was holding in his hand and scanned his badge,
making a copy and retrieving both to hand back to me smugly.

Piss.

He'd been here less than a week and he could already work the machinery better
than I could.

Edward leaned against the copier and his lips twitched like he was trying not to
laugh. But that's all he'd done since day one: laugh.

Why stop now, Chuckles?

"Are you okay?" His smile was getting wider and I narrowed my eyes in disbelief.

"Yeah. Great. Why wouldn't I be? Seattle's Sweetheart just said 'shit' on a live
broadcast. Might as well have said, 'Go fuck yourself, San Diego', and been done
with it." Huffing, I turned to walk away but he blocked my escape.

"Now, now. We're in Seattle. You'd never have said that about San Diego." He
was full on deep throat gurgling, now.

Deep Throat.

Dammit. That's what had made me screw up in the first place.

"Yuck it up, Mr. Masen. Perhaps if you hadn't been saying perverse things to me
before I went on air, I wouldn't have had a slip." Cocking a brow at him in
challenge, I placed my hands on my hips defensively.

His eyes grew wide and he laughed again. "Miss Swan. I did nothing of the sort."

"Ha!" I waved the paper in his face. "Your only way of communicating is with
innuendo."

He shook his head and moved to the side to let me pass. "That's not true and you
know it. Sometimes I can just be straight up perverted."

I stalked towards the conference room and flung the door open, slumping down
in the chair across from Rose and Angela. They eyed me speculatively and
crossed their arms at the same time. Knowing where this was going, I closed my
eyes and made an immature fake crying sound.

"How bad?" I didn't even open up my eyes to ask. It would be better with them
closed.

"I think the network wants to hire a censor and implement a five-second delay."

My mouth went slack and my eyes shot open at Angela's words. "What? It wasn't
THAT bad…"

Rose shook her head and frowned. "Bella. Yesterday you said 'sex' instead of
'success'. The day before you said 'penis' instead of 'pennies'."

I choked on my own tongue and then sputtered uncontrollably. "Huh? What?
I…pfft…it was…I can't…" My words tapered off and I pressed my hands to my
face, palms on my eyes as I moaned sadly. "I'm sorry…I've been distracted and
my sleep is affected."

Letting my hands fall from my face, I straightened up and set my shoulders. "I
will do a formal apology letter, if needed. Please, just…let me try to fix this and
we'll move on, act like it never happened?" I offered my T.V. smile and hoped it
would work on these two.

Rose didn't seem to be affected by it.

"Is there something that you need to talk about?" Her knowing look made me
blanch.

"No."

Angela leaned forward and looked me over again. "Bella…are you uncomfortable
with anyone in the office or on the crew? Someone bothering you?"

"No," I responded adamantly. I certainly didn't want anyone to get fired.
Especially Edward because he was pretty and I liked looking at him. He just
needed to not speak and everything would be okay.

It was when he opened his mouth and sound came out that things went downhill.

"Should I just grab a box? Clear out my desk?" I asked quietly.

Rose made an exasperated sound. "Good God, Bella. Always thinking the worst.
You're not getting fired. We just want to know how to get you re-focused. Back
on your A-Game."

"I'm focused. One hundred and ten percent. I promise. No more potty mouth." I
smiled again and it seemed to work that time.

We dismissed and I stormed off to my office, shutting the door behind me and
pressing my back to it. No one made me feel as flustered as Edward Masen. I had

worked my ass off for years to get to where I was and one overly happy, pretty,
perky camera man was making me fall apart at the seams.

Not even Emmett could rattle me the way Edward did. And that was saying
something because Emmett was our sports guy and he had no concept of the
term 'Inside Voice'. I had been rendered nearly deaf on more than one occasion
when he was reporting. And our weather man, Jasper, was so eerily calm it could
come across as creepy. The repair man, Jacob, was visibly flirtatious. All of the
men in this office could have, at one time or another, done something to make
me frustrated.

But Edward Masen crawled under my skin. And rubbed me the wrong way.

Which made me want to rub him the right way.

"Sick," I chided myself.

He was probably a Chlamydia carrying pest like a pigeon…hopping from building
to building and shitting on things. Or in his case: screwing things. People.
Women.

He definitely screwed women. A lot.

Yep. Edward Masen definitely had a sexually transmitted disease of some sort.
And picturing his dick black and oozing made me feel better. Especially when I
pictured it as half an inch long and with the circumference of a cigarette.

That had to be why he was so flippant and mouthy. He was making up for an
inadequate member. Poor guy. Maybe he was still a virgin.

The thought made me laugh. Out loud.

God, how funny would it be to find out that a man that looked like Edward Masen
was still a virgin?

Thinking the worst about him made me feel better and I put aside any other
unprofessional thoughts I had been having. We were going to have to work
together for the unforeseeable future. Might as well establish our professional
relationship right now. I could joke and play with the other guys. Edward
shouldn't be any different.

I would make sure he wasn't.

After looking over a few things, I tidied up my desk and stepped out into the
hallway, hoping to avoid any interaction with…well, anyone. Especially since I
hadn't really seen my co-workers since I'd shit on the news. Metaphorically, of
course.

"What's up, Shit Face?"

"Emmett," I said in my most controlled voice without turning around. "You are
not funny. Nor have you ever been funny."

He slapped me on the back and shook me hard, sending me almost flying into the
wall.

"Oh, yes I am. You just can't take a joke."

I caught myself before making impact with the plaster and rubbed my hand over
my shoulder where there would likely be a bruise in the morning. I planted my

feet and turned to face him, pushing up on my tiptoes and grabbing hold of his
bright yellow tie. Yanking on it, I jerked his face down to my eye level.

"I'M NOT DEAF AND I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW!" I screamed into his face,
watching as his mouth pulled back into a grin. His dark eyes widened happily and
he laughed a loud, boisterous guffaw.

"You know I like my Bella spicy. Caliente," he yelled and winked.

I rolled my eyes in disgust and released him, snapping my head around when I
heard a noise in the hallway.

Tyler.

Dammit.

"Hey," I called to him and cleared my throat, adjusting my hair and skirt before
walking towards him with confidence.

He smiled slightly and looked beyond me to Emmett. There was a moment where
I thought maybe they were exchanging a glance but it faded so quickly I couldn't
have been sure.

"Are we going to dinner with your parents tonight?" I asked as soon as I'd made
it close enough to him to be able to whisper.

His eyes flicked around and then landed on my face fleetingly. Something was
wrong. Tyler had been acting strange for the past couple of weeks, but I'd
thought maybe it was because of my promotion to Lead Anchor. I'd never let a
relationship get in the way of my success before, and this had seemed like just
another bump in the road towards us both getting where we wanted to be.

Tyler scratched at his ear and ran a hand through the dark hair at the base of his
neck. He had that douchey too-far side part that most anchormen had, but his
boyish good looks and IZOD charm kind of went with it. Throw in the dark brown
eyes and he was cute.

I thought he was cute, at least…cute enough to date for the past year. And he
was okay in bed. I mean…he knew what went where, at least.

"Actually, they canceled." He smiled a little but it was placating.

"Why?" I asked, suddenly full of dread.

"Maybe we should talk after work?"

"Maybe we shouldn't?" I countered.

"Bella…" he warned, his voice dropping an octave.

"Tyler?" I searched his face and felt my heart drop a little in my chest.

He simply looked back at me.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I couldn't believe it. I'd always known we
wouldn't last. But I never thought we'd break up so soon. At work. While we still
worked together.

That was bound to be awkward.

I'd have to share a news desk with him. And talk to his stupid face on camera. He
would probably tell everyone in the office how I shaved my coon. And what type
of sounds I made in the throws of passion.

Oh, well…not passion, per se. More like, 'let's get this over with, I have to get
some sleep'. But, still.

He was going to ruin everything.

"Lllllet's talk in your office," he suggested, using that soft tone he reserved for
announcing celebrity deaths on air.

I shook my head, watching my little stack of Jenga pieces being jerked around by
his dumb, stubby, couldn't-find-my-G-Spot-if-I-drew-him-a-map fingers.

"Say it here," I said flatly.

He fidgeted a little and looked back over my shoulder. "People are watching."

"People are always watching us."

He nodded and took a deep breath. "It's not you…"

"Oh, please…" I scoffed. "Cut the bullshit. What's her name? Where did you
meet? And have you already fucked her?"

His lips pressed into a thin line and he shifted his feet before replying. "Lauren.
She works at my gym. And…no."

"Are you lying?" I asked, knowing he wasn't. Had he slept with her, she wouldn't
still be with him.

"No. You and I agreed to end things before it got that far, remember? I am
keeping that promise."

Such a stupid thing to agree to. 'If you find someone else, break up with me
before you take her panties off.'

"So commendable," I hissed.

"I'm sorry," he began.

I shrugged, taking a step backwards. "Don't be. I knew it would end up this way,
anyway. No shocker here."

Emmett let out a strangled laugh.

"Pervert. Not The Shocker. Ass driller…" I shook my head and looked back at
Tyler. "Everything you left at my place…"

"I already got it," he said quietly.

I huffed and nodded; impressed. He must have gone at lunch. "You've always
been tidy," I complimented him. Holding out my hand I waited as he dug my
apartment key out of his pocket. Once it was placed in my palm, I slapped my
fingers closed and jerked it away.

I never wanted him to touch me again.

He looked around and let air whoosh out from between his lips. "So, I guess I'll
be going."

"Cool," I said, sounding about as lame as I felt.

Tyler turned and walked away, not looking back as he rounded the corner and
made it out of my sight. I braced myself and spun on my heels to face the couple
of people that must have gathered. Instead, I was greeted with about twenty
people staring at me, mouths agape and eyes looking at me like I was one of
those Sally Struthers' kids on television.

"What?" I asked defensively.

They all stared back.

I shrugged once and lifted my free hand to pull my thumb and forefinger half an
inch apart. "No big loss," I stated before opening my office door again and
retreating back to my safe haven.

And I swear I heard Edward Masen laughing.

8 =:=: =: = D

I turned the volume down on the television and squinted at the pile of pictures in
between my open legs. A year was a long time. And being in the public eye made
a relationship all that more chronicled. There was no less than four photo albums
worth of them scattered from my thighs to my ankles.

Grabbing my bottle of wine by the neck, I pulled it sloppily over to my hip and
licked my lips. Taking a huge swig of the red, I placed the bottle back on the floor
and wiped my mouth with my hand. My vision was growing foggy and I was
feeling lightheaded, which made me feel better, if even for the moment.

These pictures were dumb.

And Tyler was ugly.

His repulsive face was in all of these pictures. I snorted a little and folded one in
the middle. I looked half decent in that one. Gripping the scissors next to my leg,
I held the crease open slightly and stuck my tongue out of the side of my mouth
as I concentrated on surgically removing the moron from the picture.

When it was done, I smiled. Now it was just me. Alone.

And that was when it hit me: I was alone. I had no one. Not even that idiot Tyler
and his terrible skills in the sack. Or his lady-like 'come face' that always made
me think he'd be a good cross dresser. At least that was something. Someone.

No I had no one.

Which is when reality set in and I allowed myself to cry.

8 =:=: =: = D

Birds. Must. Die.

They tweet too loud. It's too early. I died in my sleep…

Red wine should be illegal. Or come with a package of some sort of hangover
remedy.

I climbed out of bed and into my shower, reliving the day before and thankful
that I'd at least woken up when the alarm went off. I had almost slept through it,
incorporating it into my dream about chainsaws and Tyler's car.

The drive into work was short and once I was inside the building, I wasted no
time whatsoever going straight into Make - Up. My chair was empty and I was
glad that I knew Tyler's schedule so well. He wouldn't come in to get his done for
at least another hour. He liked to spend time in his office first. I preferred to be
presentable when I walked down the halls.

"Hi, Alice," I said quietly as I settled into my seat.

She hummed a greeting and moved about to set up what she needed. Finally she
turned to face my reflection in the mirror and she jumped.

"Good Lord, woman. Are you alright?" She asked, leaning forward under the
harsh lighting to survey my face.

I sighed. "Yes. I'm fine. Just, please…fix this." I motioned around my face and
gave her a pleading look.

She straightened up and rearranged one of the bobby pins holding her bangs
back. Her fingers drummed across her chin and she blinked her big green eyes
rapidly. "You need hemorrhoid cream."

Shifting in my seat, I moved my butt farther back. "No I don't…"

"For those Louis Vuitton's under there." She pointed at my eyes while I started at
her in confusion. "Bags, Bella. You're puffy and have more than a carry on bag's
worth of luggage under there."

I slumped into my seat and rested my head against my chair, losing my eyes and
trying in vain to relax. Alice was quiet as she prepped my face and I could feel
the cool cream as it was applied under my eyes.

"Ass Face?"

I jerked slightly and looked up to see Emmett smiling wide, staring at the tube of
Preparation H in Alice's hand.

"It just gets better and better," he boomed, leaning against the counter top.

"Emmett, you are interrupting my quiet time," I muttered.

"Huh? It's quiet in here, isn't it Lil' Bit?" Emmett batted his lashes at Alice and she
giggled softly. "See? Alice thinks its quiet in here."

"Damn, Emmett. I heard you in the parking lot."

Oh, please…not Edward.

"You have superhuman hearing, then, Ed." Emmett snickered as his voice got
louder.

"You're a shit," I huffed, reaching to my side to see if I could find something to
grab and throw at him. But Alice's finger was in my eye and I couldn't reach very
far so I just grabbed the first thing I could wrap my fingers around inside of my
purse and flung it in his general direction.

There was a surprised gasp and Alice leaned back to stare at me with a shocked
expression.

Sitting up, I turned to face Emmett and Edward, confusion making me frown.
"What?"

Edward looked down at his hands and then back up at me, a smile so wide I'd
have thought he won the lottery. He took a couple of steps forward and extended
his hand to me, offering up a cup of break room coffee. "I got both of us one, but
I think this should definitely be yours now."

And there in my hand was a fresh, hot, steaming cup of Playtexaccino. I'd
inadvertently thrown a tampon. At Edward. And it landed in my coffee.

Because that's how I roll.

It began expanding and soaking up the steaming coffee, the wrapper was
disintegrating and the cardboard began turning brown right in front of my eyes.

But, in the midst of that bit of humiliation, I realized: Edward had brought me
coffee.

2: Muff and Wang Go To the Fair

BPOV

"What's up, Muff?"

"Not much, Wang." I glared in irritation at Edward Masen, shaking my head at his
ridiculous ability to unnerve me so quickly.

Emmett's god-awful laugh split the air above my head like a clap of thunder.
"Muff and Wang. Don't you two just make the perfect team?"

Pointing my finger at him, I let it move back and forth as I tsked, his eyes
following the movement like one of those irritating cat clocks that my Gramma
used to have. "Now, now, Ass Master…Muff and Wang is still a better alternative
than your little nickname."

Edward lost it then, choking on his coffee and doing an impeccable spit-take.
Jasper stared wide eyed from his portion of the set and I had to mentally pat
myself on the back for how damn uncomfortable Tyler looked from behind the
news desk.

It had taken just a little over a month, but I'd successfully moved past my
relationship with the Icky Sticky Wicky, as I had affectionately named him after
getting ridiculously drunk one night. This just so happened to coincide with the
day I received my new nickname.

See, I'd decided that I was going to be nice…not that I wasn't usually nice, but
after coming home to an apartment that was void of all of Tyler's belongings, and
realizing that I was pretty much alone in my life because of my decision to follow
my dreams and chase the career I'd always wanted, I had decided to try and get
more acquainted with my coworkers. It had been much better in theory where I

envisioned myself walking into work with a container full of homemade muffins
and a smile like Patty Duke. In the fantasy, all of my news friends gathered
around and did little ooh's and aah's at my baking abilities and then we laughed
and sipped coffee like adults while bonding a little more.

What had transpired had been just the opposite of that. They were like ravenous
vultures swooping down on the muffins and then Emmett had tried to say that
they tasted good, but a piece of the pastry went down his windpipe and got
lodged there right in the middle of his talking with his mouth full and the
sentence came out, "These are good…muff…" before he choked and had to be
beaten upon the back with a fist in order to cough up the murderous banana nut
chunk.

According to Edward, after he stopped snorting and waving his hands around in
amusement, it sounded like Emmett was saying, "These are good, Muff."

So, it stuck.

Of course, I had to then wait for Edward to do something stupid so that I could
give him an equally embarrassing nickname. When a week passed by and he'd
still not done anything worthy of harassing him over, I'd gotten irritated.
Somehow a discussion had occurred about comic book super heroes and I'd
inadvertently tried to insinuate that Edward was like Batman, but because I truly
couldn't give a shit about that stuff and…I actually have a life…I accidentally
called his alter ego 'Bruce Wang' instead of Bruce Wayne.

Cue the hilarity at my expense, per usual.

This is how we'd ended up here, today as Muff and Wang.

As for Emmett's nickname…let's just say that he thought he could use his sister's
Thigh Master to tone his ass cheeks.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love drunken Emmett? Because our weekly
'Staff Meetings' at the bar down the street really made it worth the extra forty
dollars I had to spend to get him wasted. Emmett can't resist Goldschlager; and I
used it as Truth Serum. Worked like a charm every single time.

Edward wiped the coffee off of his shirt and muttered under his breath about
having to change before we left for our onsite piece.

"Better get pretty for the ladies," I chuckled, wiggling my eyebrows at him and
giving a coy wink.

He threw a dirty look my way and shook his head while pulling his shirt up a little
to get the wetness off of his chest. My eyes landed on the exposed skin of his
abdomen while the shirt rose higher and I wasn't quite sure how long I'd been
standing there staring at him, but he cleared his throat to get my attention.

His tummy was pretty.

Pretty tummy.

Want to touch it. A little.

Time out: I need to be honest here.

Edward Masen is delicious. He's a Super Pretty Boy with a killer smile and stupid
sense of humor. He's tall and his body is ridiculous. And his hair needs to be
yanked on in multiple ways through multiple positions in someone's bed. I

guarantee that he's a dirty talker and has some weird sort of toe sucking fetish.
And I also guarantee that he's never had a girlfriend for longer than three weeks.

So, with as much as I would like to test out my fetish and hair pulling theories in
multiple places around the office or either of our apartments…on the news desk
or in front of the weather screen…wearing green Snuggies so that only our faces
would be visible on camera…

What? Like you've never thought about it?

Anyway, with as much as I would like to mix business with pleasure, I already
learned my lesson the stupid way with Tyler and I wasn't interested in making
the same mistake twice. Plus, it wasn't like Wang was giving me any signs that
he'd be interested in me anyway. He just made crude ass remarks that made me
blush and retort just as childishly.

And I liked it.

So, we'd keep it this way.

"Keep your shirt on, Wang. I'm so tired of you throwing yourself at me," I joked
and turned on my heel to take my place behind the desk, concentrating on my
words the entire time because I was, whether I admitted it or not, excited about
going out on location with Edward later.

8=:=:=:=D

The news van pulled up to the outskirts of the fairgrounds and I sighed. This was
not what I was supposed to be doing anymore. Fairs were for newbies. I was not
a newbie.

"Chin up, Muff." Edward chuckled and unbuckled his seatbelt. "You get to eat
funnel cakes and pet animals."

"You mean I get to puke and step in pig shit."

He laughed again and nodded, his eyes squinting through his smile. "Always so
pessimistic."

"That's why I deliver the news, Edward. It's cold, hard facts. And it's rarely
powdered sugar coated. But it usually does smell like some sort of farm animal."
I flashed my television smile and threw the van door open. He set about grabbing
his gear and I leaned against the side of the vehicle, popping in my ear buds and
cranking my pump-me-up music. Closing my eyes, I let my limbs relax
momentarily before I began to shake out my arms.

Next came the rolling of my head, stretching my neck.

Then I hopped a little from side to side, letting the silly beat lead my shoulders to
roll and then I just cut loose, limbs flailing while I hummed along and got my
heart rate up a little. Once I felt alert and ready, I opened my eyes.

Edward was watching me with a playful smile, his mouth twitching.

I removed the headphones and wrapped the cord around the iPod, placing
everything securely in the glove compartment before I grabbed my earpiece and
mic from the van. He just waited for me patiently and I marched off to my doom.

We caught the attention of a few Fair goers, and as I was instructed, I found my
way over to the face painting station. A little boy of about nine was getting his

face finished up as we approached. After a little coercing from his mother, we got
him to say that he would be on camera to talk about his face art.

Fiddling with the microphone cord, I let it fall a small bit away from my feet as I
dropped to a squat next to the child, getting to his eye level so that he wouldn't
be as scared.

"Okay, Colin, I just need you to talk to me like we're just chatting. It's just you
and me. No one else. Once Edward," I stopped and pointed at the camera, "tells
me to start, I'm going to ask you about that awesome Spider Man mask that you
just got painted onto your face. Sound good?"

The young boy's pale blue eyes widened and he nodded ecstatically. His red hair
had a clump of even redder paint in it and I was trying my hardest not to reach
up and pick it out. I'd look like a monkey searching for lice and my fingers would
be stained red for the rest of the day. I'd just have to let his mom handle that
little bit of hygienic maintenance instead.

Edward gave me the signal to start and turned on the camera as well as the
almost blinding white light that I had grown accustomed to years ago.

Clearly Colin had not.

"I'm here with Colin Banner who has just had an amazing mask painted onto his
face." Turning towards him with a smile, I held the microphone out between us.
"Why did you choose the Spider Man mask, Colin? Is he your favorite super
hero?"

Colin stared at the camera in terror.

Shifting a little on my feet, I leaned into his ear. "It's okay, Colin. Do you want to
start over?" He shook his head minutely.

Clearing my throat, I looked back up at Edward holding the cam steady. I
rephrased the question, hoping that a different approach would snap Colin out of
his mini coma.

So much for hope.

The little boy just stared glassy-eyed at the camera.

"You know who I like?" I asked in a whisper. "I like Batman."

Colin's eyes slid to me while his mouth stayed open. Edward let out a choked
chuckle and I shook my head at him.

"I LIKE FROGS!" Colin screamed, catching me so off guard that I reeled
backwards slightly.

"Oh, good." I straightened up and gave the camera a smile. "But what about your
mask?"

"I LIKE FROGS BECAUSE THEY'RE SLIMY!"

Holding back the groan forming in my throat, I turned towards the camera.
"There you have it, folks. Colin likes frogs. And, until someone makes up a frog
super hero, I guess he'll settle for Spider Man."

The light on Edward's camera snapped off and I stood up to gather my mic cord.

"Spider Man is really cool. He can climb and he has webs that shoot out of his
wrist like, 'thwip – thwip," Colin called up to me and started pretending to shoot
webs.

Great.

Now the kid wants to talk.

"Thanks," I laughed lightly. We parted ways with the Banners and made our way
over to the petting 'zoo'. It was clearly not a zoo. There were four rabbits, five
goats, two pigs and one horse.

"You should do this piece from the horse," Edward said with a serious expression.

"No…wait, what? No!" I shook my head in defiance. "I'm not climbing on a horse
to deliver this story."

"Fine. Deny your audience what they really want to see," he sighed
overdramatically.

"Tell you what," I leaned into his chest and poked a finger there. "I'll straddle the
horse if you enter the pig chase."

His muscles tightened and flexed beneath my fingertip and I held my breath as
his face lowered just a little to bring his mouth closer to my eye line. The
peppermint he was chewing on made him smell like the inside of my Mom's purse
on Sunday mornings when she would give me gum at church to keep me awake.

I should not be thinking about Jesus while staring at this man's mouth.

"Deal," he whispered and flashed that disarming smile.

Dammit. Now I had to ride a horse.

My ass would hurt and I'd probably fall off. Knowing my luck, he'd buck me off
like a bull and trample my face. But a deal was a deal and as long as I got to
watch Edward chase a pig around while it squealed and he lunged at it, face first
into the pen filled with mud and…excrement, I would take the odds of having full
facial reconstructive surgery.

Maybe I could guilt Edward into giving me a sponge bath…

I reminded myself that he definitely had some form of syphilis and proceeded to
talk to the owner of the horse about taking a couple of minutes of film for the
piece. Edward seemed a little too chipper when I got the go-ahead to climb onto
the back of the horse.

Bareback.

"Bareback," he chuckled and shook his head while adjusting his viewer.

I gave him my most sultry smile and leaned forward to stroke the horse's mane.
"Jealous?" I let my fingers slide across the hair and bit my lip. The horse
whinnied, and her dark brown tail flicked up towards me, wafting the scent of hay
and horse ass my way. I gagged a little and Edward, as usual, snickered.

"What's her name?" I asked the owner, Phil.

He gave me the once over and tipped his hat back a little to look up. "Nessie."

"Seriously?"

He nodded.

The Hell would you name a horse after a water monster?

"She goes by Renesmee, but we shorten it to Nessie."

Well, thank Tonto. I'd hate for the horse to be even more embarrassed by her
dumb name.

"It's lovely," I lied and squeezed my thighs together to keep my balance while
Edward handed over my mic. Leaning toward Nessie's head, I flashed my
brightest smile and waited for the signal to begin. Edward pointed his finger at
me and the light on his camera flared up.

Nessie snorted and took a hesitant step back. Her owner patted her neck and
whispered into her ear.

Freaking Horse Whisperer.

I opened my mouth to speak and as soon as the first word left my mouth, Nessie
shifted a little and her tail lifted.

"Oh my God," Edward cackled, his face shifting away from where the camera was
settled on his broad shoulder. His eyes were almost closed because he was
laughing so hard and his Liquid Paper white teeth were practically glowing.

"What?" I asked, exasperated.

"Nessie had to do her business," Phil stated, like it was just the most obvious
thing on the planet.

"Pardon?" I knew he couldn't be saying what I thought he was.

"She pooped."

It was then that the smell hit me like a wall of…well, horse shit.

"Ugh," I yelped and tried to cover my nose with my hand to stop the reflexive
gagging that was starting to happen, but I moved too fast and jerked the cord on
my microphone, startling the horse. She let out a whinny and reared back and
just as I was trying to grab onto her mane, her front legs flew up and I flew
back…and back…and back.

And when I landed, there was a sound…like, 'sploof', and the wind flew out of me,
while white light flashed in front of my eyes. My hands and arms flailed, twisting
their way into the mic cord and when my hands found purchase onto the ground
by my side, they slid into what I could only assume was the little pile of presents
that Nessie had left before I was thrown.

I gasped hard, trying to gather a breath but every time I flared my nostrils to
breathe in, the stench of manure slammed me in the face and I gagged.

So it was a good thirty seconds of, "Huh," as I breathed in and, "Guh-bleh," as I
wretched out. Phil was trying to pull Nessie away and I didn't even notice how
close her hind legs were to my face until a whoosh of air slipped by and the
sound of her shoes hitting dirt caught my attention.

And then, Edward was crouched in front of me, shielding my face from the flailing
legs of the beast and scooping me up from my pile of shit and…that's…when…I
puked on him.

I vommed on my hero, Wang.

He saved me from death. Or, at least, a really unattractive horse-shoe shaped
dent in my face.

And I puked on him.

While covered in fresh horse shit.

Should I let you sit and think on that for a moment?

"Oh," I wretched and my stomach rolled while I attempted to turn my head. "I'm
so sorry," I puked again and whimpered in humiliation.

Edward didn't laugh this time. He carried me out of the corral and off to the side
of the barn-like building. His silence made me feel worse and I closed my eyes as
tears sprang up through my ducts, mixing with the fear and panic that was
pouring out of me in the form of sweat.

Stoically, he stopped out of view of any bystanders and leaned down to deposit
me onto the soft earth.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice tight and hands even tighter on my
shoulders.

I opened my eyes and stared up into his, noticing for the very first time just how
insanely brilliant the green in his eyes really was. If I wasn't covered in vomit and
dung, I would have sighed like a love-struck pre-teen in front of her favorite
movie star.

"I'm so sorry…I'm," I lifted my hands and noted that they were caked with poop,
the cord of my mic still wrapped around one wrist as it had broken during our
evacuation. "I puked on you…I smell like shit…I have…shit…on…my…hands!" My
voice was catching and the hysteria was rising in my chest, making my breath
come quicker and I couldn't handle the smell or the feel of the mess on me
anymore.

"No, Bella…Bella!" Edward yelled, planting his palms on both sides of my face. I
pressed my lips together and stared at him, wide eyed and my vision blurred by
my tears. He was so close to my face and his eyes were…scared. Concerned.
"Are. You. Okay?" He practically ground the words out.

"I'm fine. I'm not hurt." His concern calmed my hysteria immediately, which
surprised me. I reassured him and watched as the anxiety left his eyes.

"I thought she'd hurt you," he said, deflating a little and letting go of my face. He
sank to the ground and I watched in awe as he planted his palms on the grass
beside him, his fingers shaking and arms rippling from whatever he was feeling.
He blinked a couple of times and followed my eyes towards his hands.
"Adrenaline rush," he offered as explanation.

"Thank you," I whispered, suddenly feeling even more foolish.

Had I been with any other camera man, I doubted that they would have
attempted to save me from a horse.

"It was my idea. It was stupid." He glared into the sunlight overhead and
muttered under his breath.

We sat in silence for a few minutes and I tried to regain my composure, unsure of
exactly how we were going to finish the piece and…get back to the studio…like
this. Looking around, I noted a few rows of tents set up where crafts were being
sold.

"I think there should be a place where we can rinse off," I offered, pointing
towards a bathroom. There was a camp ground off on the other side of the park,
and I knew we'd be able to use them for free.

"You're not actually going to try and finish this, are you?" His look could have
sliced me in two.

"It's my assignment."

"You almost got kicked in the face by…a…horse."

"But I didn't."

"Should I have let you get hurt?" He tilted his head in wonder.

"Ugh. No. Recoup time would have eaten into my vacation and sick time…" I
rolled my eyes and gave a smile. And then I remembered I was a human Port-A-
Potty.

"You make no sense," he huffed and stood to his feet. He helped me up and we
shuffled back towards the abandoned equipment. The camera was safe on the
other side of the barrier, but my microphone was a whole different story all
together.

I still can't figure out how the mic head ended up with the goats. But the one
chewing on it sure seemed to like it.

"Now what, Muff?" Edward asked, holding the camera as gently as possible away
from his frame in order to avoid touching it with anything icky hanging off of his
clothes.

I was sure I had another mic in the van, so I sent him to retrieve it while I made
my way over to the main men in charge. Once they got a good whiff of me, they
gave me everything I asked for. Edward returned a few minutes later, his shirt
having been discarded somewhere along the way. The electrical cords were
wrapped around his arm, the camera on one shoulder and my new mic in his
other hand.

I stared as he approached, fully transfixed by the way his stomach muscles flexed
and contracted with each step; the way his broad shoulders led up to toned
muscles across his back and towards his neck. He was perfect.

And…sparkly?

"What is that?" I asked as he came to a stop.

"Oh…" His face looked over the glitter on his chest and arms. "You had some
Germ-X or something in the van, and I thought I could use it to stop smelling like
yarf. Didn't know it was all glittery."

A chuckle started deep in my stomach and I laughed a full, hearty laugh that
shook my whole frame.

"Why is that so funny?" He asked, feigning insult.

I shook my head and pointed to one of the bags by my feet. "Because, all they
had to fit you was a pair of overalls. So…you'll be all sparkly and shirtless in
them…"

"What? I'll just wear these," he argued, looking down at his pants.

"You have horse doody on your knees." I pointed towards the huge stains and he
groaned. "Come on. Get in the spirit, Wang! I have to wear overalls too…"

He looked at me skeptically.

"The showers are over here," I said and grabbed our bags. Once we'd made it to
the bathrooms I handed him his stuff. "There's a little towel in there and
some…soap." I shrugged and turned to go inside to shower off.

The water felt amazing and I had never been so glad in my entire life to get
clean. I was really thankful that there had been some flip flops available at one of
the booths, even if they did have ribbons and bows hanging off of every last inch
of them. Red polka dots and little plumes of blue stars. Very patriotic.

Paired with the overalls and USA tube top, along with the red bandanna I had
acquired to wrap around my hair, I was surely a sight to behold.

But nothing prepared me for what was awaiting me outside. Edward sat on the
bench against the wall, our equipment resting near his propped up knee as he
laid his head back and the waning sunlight filtered across his features. He had his
shoes on, and the overalls. But it appeared that those two items were all there
was to his outfit.

Given that he was probably a good inch taller than the average guy, the pants
appeared to be at least an inch too short and rode up above the wet sneakers
that he had apparently worn inside the shower and rinsed off. But his defined
upper body was almost completely on display as he soaked up rays of late
afternoon sunlight.

And, the way that the overalls dipped just a little low on his sides made me stare.
Because it was hot.

Hot like…Vanilla Ice back in the day.

I cleared my throat and he lifted his face lazily, his eyes opening slowly before
they landed on me. His smile lit up his face and his brows drew together,
upwards, all adorable and shit.

"Well, aren't you just as cute as the Fourth of July?" He joked.

I posed a little, patting the bandanna on my head. "I know how to appeal to my
audience."

His gaze lingered a bit on the bedazzled USA on my chest and I felt myself start
to blush a bit. In one quick movement he was on his feet and gathering the
equipment. His scent rolled towards me and I giggled, covering my mouth to hide
the sound, but it was too late.

Edward shook his head and made a sour face. "Thanks for the soap. I'm sure the
Strawberry glycerin was the best you could find, right?"

I lost it, bending at the waist and slapping my knee. "I promise…it smells better
than vomit."

"You owe me, by the way." His eyes softened and his tone turned serious.

"It was your idea," I reminded him quietly; my amusement suddenly replaced
by…something else.

His mouth opened like he wanted to say something and then it seemed that he
thought better of it. "Fine. I'm not doing the pig chase." And with that last
statement, he led the way to film our last piece for the assignment.

Chapter 3: Trip, Fall and Leap

EPOV

"What's that?" She asked, breathy and seductive.

I grimaced, forgetting that I had taken the souvenir from the Fair. "Its' your
bandana," I whispered, leaning across her to my bedside table to grab it. "It
smelled like you so I took it. Is that weird?"

She laughed a little and shifted on my bed to look up into my face. "I think it's
cute."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…"

Bella smiled up at me and nestled her head more into my pillow. My heart was
beating out of control and I wrapped the bandana around my right hand to stop
my shaking fingers from giving me away.

"Do you want to kiss me?" She asked softly, raising one hand above her head to
rest in her shiny, dark hair.

It was the invitation that I was looking for; so instead of saying yes, I just went
ahead and leaned my face into hers. Things unraveled and spun out of control
quickly; hands on bare skin, clothes slipping over and off of limbs, mouths sliding
across neck and shoulders until my face was hovering above the space in
between her thighs.

"It's beautiful," I whispered reverently, the excitement in my voice very apparent,
making her giggle a little.

I loved it when she giggled.

"Seriously. I mean…it's a really nice situation you've got here. It's pretty." I
looked up into her flush faced and sighed. "I want to, like, live here."

"What?" She sat up a little, confusion making her face scrunch up.

"I want to live in your Muff Cave."

Bella leaned back a little and scooted away from me. "Umm…"

"Yeah, I could just…crawl up in there. Live like an Indigenous man. Bring a
blanket. You could give me snacks. It would make a comfy house, right?"

"Did you just call my vag a house?" The look of horror on her face struck me as
funny. Why was she upset? It was a compliment. At least, I thought it was.

"You're a moron." She threw her legs off of the bed and scrambled to find her
clothes. "Freaking…house?" She threw a dirty look at me and opened the door
with force, clutching her clothes to her chest as I watched her little, apple ass
wiggle on the way out.

James poked his head onto my room, shaking his head at my idiocy.

"What?" I asked, irritated at my current naked and aroused state.

He opened his mouth, his eyes suddenly vacant. "Another murder in downtown
Seattle last night. Police have no leads. No witnesses. Similarities to the last
three unsolved murders lead investigators to believe that we may have the
beginnings of a new serial killer on our hands."

"James. Shut up…"

"Police are asking anyone with any information to step forward…"

I threw my hands up in agitation.

"More news to come after a word from our sponsor." James blinked once before
he turned and walked back into the hallway.

What the Hell?

"Kaboom!"

I jerked upwards, my arms flailing and comforter rolling back to expose my chest
to the chill in my room.

"Kaboom! It's FANTASTIC!"

Warily, I rolled to my side and slapped the top of my alarm clock with my fist.
The joyful sound of the now deceased Billy Mays faded back into the speakers
and I slumped back down, face first into my pillow.

Sleep used to be more comfortable than this. Before I'd met Bella Swan and she
started degrading me in my dreams. It never failed that any time I would get to
the good part of my dream, I'd end up saying something ridiculously stupid and
she'd run off like I'd lit her on fire with a shiny pink Bic.

Note to self: Never tell a woman that her lady bits would make a good house.

Ever.

Letting my eyes close again, I yawned. If I were less of a person, I wouldn't be
getting up this early on a Saturday morning. But I didn't have to work today and
I needed to get some things done to start the application for my project and if I
didn't get a start on it now, I would never finish in time.

In time for seeing Bella, that is.

Company picnics didn't seem like something I would have been interested in
before going to work for WTWI. But they seemed like a hell of a lot of fun if Bella

was going to be there. In shorts. And possibly a little tank top where her bra
straps would be hanging out.

"I'm a douche," I lamented and pulled the pillow across my face.

I liked her, which was obvious to anyone within a ten foot radius. But, I liked her
for other reasons than just for being hot and successful. She was fun. Funny and
quirky and smart…but she was also inadvertently sexy.

The first day I was there she had been wearing this skirt and jacket that seemed
pretty tame, as one would expect from a Lead Anchor. But when she'd gotten
finished with her broadcast, she had removed her microphone from her lapel and
then promptly got up from her seat to take off her jacket…exposing a leopard
print bra that was half peeking out of the top of the black shirt thing she was
wearing.

And that had been it.

So I'd started razzing her a little, playing with her to test the water. She always
responded, and while not generally witty, she always ended up doing something
or other that would make me laugh. I tended to just react to her that way. Like I
was the friggin' Pillsbury Dough Boy.

'Look, it's Bella. Hee hee!'

It was embarrassing that she made me laugh all the time, but my nerves usually
got the best of me around her. I'd figured out after a couple of days that she was
with that JCrew asshole, Tyler. And then, when he'd been stupid enough to dump
her in front of the entire office, I'd wanted to tear his head off. But Bella had
taken it with such grace…and then she'd talked about how small his dick was
and…shit…I think I'd fallen a little in love with her then.

The next few weeks, we would banter and I couldn't stop myself from goading
her on, especially when she didn't disapprove of her new nickname. I can't even
start to tell you how much I loved to call her that every chance I got. She always
got flustered or would try to come back with something, but I think I unnerved
her enough that it sent her brain into little fritzes or something.

I knew she'd waited for a couple of weeks to see if she could trap me into an
awkward situation to create my own nickname, but she'd done it herself and I'll
be completely honest: I have no problem with being Bella's Wang. Every damn
time she said it I got a buzz in my balls. The way her lips puckered out on the
'w'? Ridiculous.

It was even more fun to mess with her in front of Tyler because he got a little
irritable, thinking he was better than me because I am a camera man and not in
front of the lens. But I've never wanted that, film is my life. And if I was going to
have a career as a documentary film maker, I was going to have to make money.

This was good money.

And Bella was there.

Win - win, in my opinion.

Even if it meant rescuing her from a horse; or letting her puke on me; or wearing
denim overalls looking like a hillbilly and smelling like fruit…it was with Bella. And
it was fun. I never, ever, thought I would love my job so much.

And I would never get the image of her on that USA tube top out of mind.

By the way, I really, seriously did steal that bandana.

My fingers slipped beneath my pillow and I pulled the swatch of fabric into my
fingers, letting them play over the red material and remembering the way her
overalls sat just a little low on her, exposing the pale skin of her sides and the dip
of her hips.

Sexy in overalls. It was absurd, but true.

Awesome. Another raging boner.

It was practically an every day occurrence now; morning wood and a trip to the
bathroom; recalling memories of her dancing next to the van to that stupid song
that she loved to get 'pumped up' to; finishing as I read her lips mouthing,
"Excuse me Miss, but can I get you out your panties?"

Never in my life would I have ever thought I would get aroused by a song
featuring 3oh!3 and Ke$ha. But that was the effect damn Bella Muff Swan had on
my dick.

When I'd relieved myself, I walked into the kitchen, scratching my balls and
staring blankly into the refrigerator. Noting that we needed more food, I opted to
have some cereal before getting started on my submission request. A mixing
bowl full of Cocoa Puffs and half a gallon of milk later, I was sprawled out on my
couch watching Saved By The Bell reruns.

Jessie Spano on Speed was the best thing ever.

"I'm so excited…" I sang along with her breakdown and shoveled another spoon
full of cereal into my mouth.

"Whoa…can you please put your nuts away?" Victoria shielded her eyes and
marched through the living room into the kitchen.

I groaned and shifted on the couch to move my boxers into a more secure
position. "How was I supposed to know you were here?" I muttered, taking
another bite and turning up the volume on the television.

She shuffled about in the kitchen and appeared a few minutes later with her own
bowl of cereal. At least today she had on pajama pants. Usually she walked
around in her panties. And while I was okay with an attractive woman wandering
around in her undies, this was Victoria we were talking about: she was like a
sister and I certainly was not interested in seeing her Jungle Mitten through her
Hanes.

"Where's James?" I asked, not bothering to look up as I was fixated on the
television screen.

"Getting your application for Sundance," she said before shoving her spoon in her
mouth and letting the metal clank against her teeth.

Worst. Sound. Ever.

I cringed and shook my head. James was my roommate and, for all intents and
purposes, business partner. We were going to be doing a documentary together
and were planning on submitting it for the festival. Hopefully we could get some
kind of financial backing and then maybe we could release it through a smaller
production company, like Magnolia.

The only thing that might keep us from getting support would be James: He
tended to look like a homeless guy. His blonde hair was long and he kept it in a
stringy ponytail, and he had light, scruffy facial hair like that freaky Spencer Pratt
dude and his flesh colored beard. Mostly, he liked to dress in clothes that looked
like they came from the Salvation Army. Apparently he took the whole 'brooding
artiste' look very seriously.

A lot of times it just made people drop quarters into his coffee while we were
outside of Starbucks.

Victoria wasn't as dirty looking as James was, but she was pretty Bohemian…she
loved her tie-died shirts and crinkly skirts. And she just about lived in
Birkenstocks. This usually made James' room smell like a barn.

Barn.

Horse.

Bella.

I do not have time for another whack session this morning.

The door opened then and James trudged inside, waving the paperwork above his
head. "And the day has come, my friend," he announced.

I had to laugh. It was what we'd wanted to do for a couple of years now.

Now we just had to hand in a movie worth watching.

8==========================================D

The park was full…and I mean FULL…of station staff milling about and
schmoozing. Kids were every damn where…and I was a little frustrated wondering
how I was going to find Bella in the madness.

Lucky for me, I'm half Giant…

Yeah. I am. Guess which parts?

Anyway, I'm really tall and she's really short so I kinda had to look a little harder
than I expected in order to locate her. I knew she didn't really have a whole lot of
friends here, but the same five or six people were always around, so I was sure
that if I found Emmett or Rose I would find my Muff.

Sure enough, Emmett's half screaming baritone beckoned to me across the field
and from the way he was flinching, I could only assume Bella was smacking the
shit out of him for one reason or another.

I was right.

As I approached at a half-jog…so as not to look over-excited or needy to hang out
with people I saw every day… I saw Emmett bobbing and weaving while Bella's
little arms flailed spastically.

Rose stood just off to the side, hiding her laughter behind a beer bottle. Alice was
leaning against Jasper and they, too, were watching Bella and Emmett scrap.

Kind of.

"I hate you, you idiotic primate," she huffed and tried to slap him again.

"Nah, you don't. " In the direct sunlight of the afternoon, I could actually see the
spittle flying out of his mouth and it made me cringe.

Poor, poor Bella.

"Hi, Edward," Alice called to me with a little wave. She was really tiny, and her
voice was barely audible most days. It seemed that she was more comfortable
with being outside. And she was with Jasper. That was probably the main reason
she was more comfortable.

I slowed my approach and gave her a smile, nodding at Jasper in turn.

"Why are you getting beat up by a chick?" I asked Emmett.

He held a hand out to deflect Bella's flailing fingers. "Bella doesn't like my
nickname mash up."

"You're an idiot," she huffed and tried to push his hand away. She looked up at
me and shook her head in mock exaggeration. "He's trying to call me
TamponShitPuke Face."

Emmett nodded his head and snickered. "Has a nice ring to it, right?"

I chuckled, not able to stop myself because he was such a ham, but he had a
good side to him and I knew for a fact that he loved Bella like one of his own
family members. He liked to get under her skin and piss her off, but he thought
very highly of her. Letting the smile drop from my face, I gave him a stern look.

"That's not very…re…spect…ful." I choked on the word because my laughter
couldn't be contained.

Bella glared at me and pivoted to slap me instead. Her hand barely made contact
with my skin and I watched as her foot tripped on the other and she toppled
forward…her face landing in my crotch. I was stunned and unable to move as I
watched her press her face into my zipper and grab the outside of my thighs as
she pulled her knees under her and shifted her face even more abruptly into my
favorite appendage's home.

"Mmf," she muttered.

"Umm," I started, trying to step back, but unsuccessful as she leaned into my
crotch again. I looked around in panic and realized that everyone else was staring
in horror and amusement. "Let – let me help you," I muttered and grabbed hold
of her head, one hand on each side, to pull her face back.

"Oww!" She screamed and squeezed my thighs with her spindly, little fingers.

"Sorry!" Wild-eyed, I gripped onto her hair and pulled her back. She slumped
forward again.

"Mfhuck," she yelled into my pants.

"Huh?"

"Mmmmfhhhuuck!" She yelled and I couldn't help the reaction I was having as
her face was nuzzling my member and her yells were vibrating through the fabric.

Plus, she was on her knees and I was pulling her hair.

Oh, shit. I'm going to jail.

Alice finally came out of her 'idiot coma' and ran to kneel down next to Bella,
moving her hair back from her face where it was lodged into my pants.
"Bella…are you stuck?"

Bella nodded her head and I pressed my lips between my teeth to subconsciously
will down the hard-on that was taking full form now.

Alice looked up at where Bella's head was connected with my pants and she
winced. "Looks like her hair is caught on your button and zipper." She pulled
Bella's forehead back a little and began working her fingers over my button and
the tip of my zipper while Bella's face snuggled even closer.

This could have been a fantasy of mine at one time or another, but it would not
have included the station manager, the weather guy and the Neanderthal sports
caster watching from a few feet away. Or a thousand other bystanders.

Of course, I did have two women on their knees in front of me…

"You…y-y-you okay down there?" I stuttered, patting the top of Bella's head a
little as Alice's fingers nimbly worked into the top of my pants and pulled my
button open. She was focused, eyes hovering just slightly above the pants and
fingernails scratching against my sensitive skin below my belly button.

James in a tutu.

James in a tutu.

James in a tutu.

Oh, God…please let my boner go away.

"Got it!" Alice exclaimed and I felt immediate relief as Bella's face pulled away
from my legs. Alice stepped back, her fingers clutching a chunk of wadded up
Bella hair from what she had ripped out of the button and zipper.

But I could barely pay attention because Bella was still on her knees and she was
breathing in huge breaths, her face bright red and lips puffy from where they had
rubbed against the material covering what had become obvious to her while she'd
been down there.

Her eyes lifted to mine and then back down to the semi-noticeable bulge pressing
its way towards her face like a little toddler arm asking to be held and
comforted…

"Good God," she breathed and pressed a hand to her mouth. "Sorry…"

I turned and faced away from her, trying to block out the loud ass ramblings of
Emmett now trying to come up with a way to incorporate 'Nut Nuzzler' into Bella's
list of nicknames. Shifting my situation into a better position, I gathered my
resolve and began to walk away towards the tables filled with food. And beer.

I definitely needed a beer.

The girl behind the catering table gave me a sweet smile and leaned forward, her
boobs squishing together a little as she did. "How may I service you?" She asked,
batting her lashes a bit.

I had to laugh at the innuendo, considering what I'd just experienced. "A Heiney,
please."

She giggled a little and reached into one of the coolers, bending over and giving
me a smirk as she dug around in the very bottom of the container to get a really
cold one. Righting herself, she sauntered back over and sat the bottle down
before wiping her hands off on the cloth hanging from her waist. Without
blinking, she tilted the bottle forward and set the neck against the flat surface
before hitting the lid with her hand and popping the top off.

"Here you go." She smiled and handed the Heineken over.

I took it, biting back my laughter at her obvious flirtation. "Thanks." I tipped the
beer in her direction and stepped away from the table to down half of it.

A familiar voice caught my attention and I saw Bella scurrying as fast as she
could to get to me. She stopped just a foot short and held up her hands for me to
let her speak. She was breathing a little heavy and the tank top she was wearing
was starting to slide down on one side, the thin straps having come loose as
she'd all but ran towards me.

"I'm really sorry and so embarrassed," she explained with pleading eyes. "I really
didn't mean to fall into your…business and I know I was moving and squirming
and talking and I'm sure it was just a weird reaction, but you really shouldn't be
embarrassed because I'm sure it was uncomfortable for you and I am
humiliated…more so than usual, and I just want to make sure that you're okay
and that we're okay and that I didn't upset you…"

She was talking a hundred words a minute and I felt my face crack into a smile
as she rambled, her eyes wide and her tone full of worry. And in that moment, I
was lost. Lost in her eyes that spoke volumes about how she felt because she
wouldn't apologize this profusely to just anyone, right? And the way her hands
were shaking surely meant that she cared about me in some aspect that made
her react that way. And she was so close, and right there and I could smell her
hair and see how soft her skin was…and I was lost.

So, I did what my heart and dick were telling me to do.

She was still talking, still apologizing and I just took a step towards her, clutching
that beer in my hands as I did, and without a singe word, I leaned in and kissed
her.

Chapter 4: Eternal Sunshine of a Conflicted Mind

BPOV

Da da da da da da…

There was a chorus of heavenly angels singing.

Da da da da da da…

And Edward Wang Masen was kissing me.

He smelled like…man: amazing and crisp. His mouth was cold from the beer
bottle and I could taste the Heineken on his lower lip that was edging its way in
between both of mine.

Don't stop believin'…hold onto that feelin'…

God likes Journey?

I pulled back slightly and blinked. That wasn't a chorus of angels…it was my
phone.

"Umm, I should get that," I said quickly, reaching into my pocket. My fingers
fumbled slightly and I tried to swipe the face to answer it but ended up sending
the caller to voicemail. "Shit." It slipped a little and I grabbed at it, just missing
smashing Edward in the face with my forehead.

He staggered back a step and eyed me tentatively.

We stared at one another in silence as we both tried to comprehend what had
just happened.

"I'm sorry," he started.

"I don't like Heineken," I blurted out louder.

"What?" He looked so confused.

"I like Corona? Maybe I should get a Corona…" I turned and sprinted the couple
of feet towards the bartender who was giving me a dirty look for some reason.
"Hi. Can I get a…"

"Corona," she finished for me. "I heard you."

Yikes.

She handed it over and walked away, and I could have sworn she gave me the
middle finger as she flipped her hair.

So strange.

Taking a sip with shaky hands, I continued to stare at the bar and…not turn back
around towards Edward. Of course he couldn't let me do that. Not Edward Masen.

He cleared his throat behind me and I felt his shirt rub against my arm. I stared
straight ahead, swallowing another drink when I felt his fingertips on my arm.
Turning quickly, I looked to where he was touching me and watched with wonder
as his fingers trailed over my skin and up my arm towards my shoulder to right
the strap of my tank top that had inadvertently fallen when I had been running
towards him to apologize.

My gaze lingered on his long fingers and I let them trek upwards to his face,
pulled tight with worry. His eyes trained on mine and he licked his lips quickly
before clearing his throat again.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." His voice was quiet and his eyes were
flicking back and forth between mine.

"I liked it," I whispered, shocked at my own honesty.

His eyes widened and he smiled a little, shy and surprised. "Really?"

Laughing, I nodded and took another sip of my beer. "Best kiss I've had in at
least a year."

He let out a long breath and closed his eyes, letting his smile grow bigger. When
he reopened his eyes, they were bright with excitement. "I'm glad you said
that…"

I shook my head and frowned. "It can't happen again, though."

"What?"

Letting my voice drop lower, I waved my hand towards the rest of the picnic.
"Come on…look around us…"

Edward looked over his shoulder and then back at me in confusion. "Because we
work together?"

I nodded.

"You worked with Tyler."

"I know. And that was a huge mistake."

He narrowed his eyes and chewed on his lip. "What if I'm not a mistake?"

"What if I am?"

He coughed out a dry laugh. "What if you're the best thing ever?"

I had to chuckle at that. "I'm sure there are other girls who are better…"

The glint was back in his eyes. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

My mouth went dry at his words and I felt my thighs start to tingle. He was
sucking me into his tractor beams and I pictured myself hovering off of the
ground before being abducted by aliens.

"Okay."

He looked shocked. "Huh?"

"I said okay. Let's go." I twirled around and searched frantically for a trash can to
throw my bottle into. Without another glance at him, I marched past Edward and
started off down one of the jogging trails that lead up towards the steeper part of
a mountain. He followed me; I could hear his footsteps just behind mine and
when I reached a fork in the underbrush, I veered off to the left, making my way
through the trees.

When I'd reached a secluded spot, I stopped, my breath catching in my throat
and causing my chest to rise and fall erratically. I felt alive. I felt scared. I
felt…like I was going to throw up.

He stopped just a foot short of me and I took a deep lungful of air, letting my
shoulders stiffen before releasing it quietly. Perhaps the air was thinner up on the
mountain, because I was having trouble breathing. And it was quiet. Well, quiet
except for the birds and the distant echo of music from the picnic and the sound
of people yelling and shit.

It was quiet.

Ever so slowly, he crept forward, the plush grass and leaves softening his
footsteps as he approached me from behind. I felt his chest at my spine and I
sighed, closing my eyes as he stopped and stood very, very still.

"Bella," he almost whispered; his voice gravelly and dry.

I turned abruptly, my feet not as fast as my head, and I stumbled a bit into his
chest…again.

"You keep falling for me," he joked and I gripped onto his yellow shirt, my hands
fisting the open fabric of the unbuttoned top and pulled with all of my might until
his face was level with mine.

Staring into his outrageously sexy face, I gulped. "Are you gonna kiss me, or
what?"

His lips parted for a split second before he pulled me to his chest and pressed his
mouth to mine.

I was a Fourth of July sparkler – my entire body was popping and crackling with
sensation. And all of them were good. It was warmth spreading from my head to
my toes and I could pinpoint the moment when my face burst into flames, and
my legs began to tingle and the tiny butterflies in my stomach exploded,
fluttering upwards into my chest and making it hard to breathe.

He was solid and unyielding, his grip on my waist firm and gentle all at the same
time. His hands were kneading my sides slowly, but his fingers were digging into
my flesh like he was a ticking time bomb. And then he pulled me closer and I
allowed my palms to slide up his broad shoulders and across his neck into the
hair at the nape, where I let my fingertips twirl the wayward ends around my
fingertips.

My hips angled into him and I let out a shocked gasp when I came into contact
with what I'd been face to face with just a few short minutes ago. It was
miraculous.

His hands slipped lower, slowly as if he were waiting for me to stop him…like I
was that stupid. Please.

When he'd reached the top of the pocket on the back of my shorts, he slipped
both sets of fingers inside of them and curled them inward to squeeze my ass.

My heart raced frantically and I gasped again, opening my lips to breathe when
he flicked his tongue out quickly to draw a line over my top lip and then it
disappeared back into his. Feeling brave and spurned on by the fact that he was
so into it, I threw all concerns aside and thrust my tongue into his awaiting
mouth.

It was hot. Like…seventeen-year-olds-making-out-for-the-first-time hot.

Oh God…all I wanted to do was climb his torso and wrap my legs around his
waist…chest…face.

Pictures flashed behind my closed eyes of me naked and his face pressed in
between my thighs, up against a tree. And then I pictured splinters in my ass and
scabs on my back.

"Ow," I mumbled and he immediately grew still, removing his face an inch from
mine to look at me with concern.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, feeling incredibly lame. "I'm more than okay."

He nodded. "Sure?" His fingers flexed in my pockets and he squeezed my ass
again. My right leg lifted a little and I angled my calf to wrap around his knee so
that I could rub myself against his thigh.

"I'm pretty damn sure."

His eyes drifted closed again and we were right back where we had left off, our
mouths working in harmony while our tongues danced in and out of their
respective homes. I was so turned on I was afraid I would leave some sort of
stain, but it didn't stop me from wriggling against his leg like I was riding that
stupid horse, Nessie.

His hands pulled out of my pockets and he bent a little at the waist, his arms
scooping under my thighs to pull me up and wrap my legs around his waist.

Oh…hell. The semi he'd been sporting earlier was nothing compared to this flag
pole at full staff.

Wang's wang was plentiful.

I rubbed against it wantonly, securing my ankles around his back and slithering
across his front again. His mouth pulled away from mine and latched on to my
neck. I mewled and gripped onto the back of his neck harder, panting as I let my
head roll back a little to give him better access. He grunted into my skin and
tilted forward a bit.

"Oh, shit! Don't drop me," I yelled in panic.

"I'm not going to drop you," he assured me and lowered himself to his knees.
When he was safely grounded, he ran a hand under my cheeks and the other into
my hair to cradle my head. Leaning me back gently, he let me fall onto the
cushioned earth below. I sucked in a needed breath and rested my head against
the ground, looking up at him from my new position.

Edward was positioned above me, holding my thighs around his waist while my
upper body rested below. His eyes roamed my face while his palms pressed my
thighs inward towards his massive boner.

"I really like you," he blurted suddenly. "A lot. You make me nervous and I think
you're so pretty and I can't believe you're here right now and that I get to kiss
you." He blinked hard like he couldn't believe he'd just said all of that.

Neither could I.

"Yeah…well, I like you too."

His face broke out into the most adorable smile. "Yeah?"

I rolled my eyes and shifted into his lap forcefully. "Yeah." He kinda looked like he
did an internal fist pump. He was so damn cute. Raising myself up a bit, I
reached out for a belt loop and pulled him on top of me. He settled his hips in
between my legs and I let out a ridiculously noisy moan, blushing and cursing
myself in my head when birds scattered into the air.

My hand crept between us in the limited space where we weren't touching and I
pulled his lips in for another kiss as I wiggled my fingers against the button of his
pants. My thumb slid across a smooth crest and my eyes flew open in surprise.

"What?" He asked, the panic back in his face.

"Your junk is huge," I sputtered.

His face tilted and his mouth turned down with worry. "No…no, I'm sure I'm
average…"

The delivery of that line led me to believe he'd be terrible in front of the camera.

"I call bullshit," I muttered, running my hand across his zipper and down.
"Seriously. Do they make special underwear for you?" I could see my hands
moving across the length of it in my mind and I was astonished. "Have you ever
killed a woman with this thing?"

He laughed, embarrassed and a little flattered, I think. "No. No one has died."

"Well, damn. I think I might need to try to work my way up to this. Get some
new vibrators?" I scrunched up my face and bit my lip when my palm passed
across the head and rested on the tip. "I don't mean to be rude, but that might
ruin me for any other man."

"Is there a reason you're stroking my ego?" He choked a little as I continued my
exploration of his member.

"I'm pretty sure I'm stroking your dick, Mr. Masen." I lifted one eyebrow and
slipped my fingers into the waistband of his pants.

He moaned deeply and leaned into my chest to nip at my collar bone. "Your
hands are soft," he whispered.

"Your cock is softer."

His head shot up and I wrenched my hand from his pants. "Not like that!" I
scrambled to sit up on my knees. "It's soft like…kitten fur. Or a bunny. Like…good
soft not flaccid soft!"

He looked horrified.

"No, no. You're not listening to me. Like…" I leaned forward and gripped his pants
in my fingers, popping the top button and sliding his zipper down. Lifting his
undershirt to pull his erection free, I bit my lip to stifle my reaction. "Velvet." My
eyes met his, a little scared and hungry with desire. "I wanna rub it on my
cheek."

His eyes popped and he laughed nervously again.

I was kneeling before perfection at the Alter of Peen. I'd never seen anything like
it before and I was both mesmerized and terrified at the same time.

There was no way in Hell that thing was going to work in my Muff Box.

My fingers twitched slightly and I watched in awe as they stretched to come into
contact with it. One touch and it bobbed forward, scaring the shit out of me.

"Oh my God," I screeched and leapt to my feet. "Sorry. No way. No sir. Not
gonna happen."

I'd been completely wrong. It wasn't terrifying because he was a plague carrying
pigeon with a plethora of diseases and a bathroom cabinet full of prescription
medications.

It was terrifying because… I would die. And while I wouldn't mind taking my last
breath that way…I had no intention of dying so young.

How would the coroner explain that to my Dad?

"Sir? Can you come identify the body?"

That would be a terrible way to introduce him to Edward.

What was I saying? That thing wasn't coming near me. Whatever I had thought I
could do, I was wrong. I couldn't do this…there were too many conflicting
thoughts and feelings coursing through my brain and I didn't have the mental
capacity at the moment to sift through them.

Edward looked more confused than I had ever seen him. "Bella, I…"

I shook my head and turned as fast as I could to flee the woods, back to the open
area of the picnic and straight to my car.

Death by dick.

I couldn't end up on the Nightly News that way.

So I sped away from the lemur he had in his pants. And from Edward.

Monday would not be pleasant.

8==========================================D

I sat in the parking lot of the station and stared at my reflection in the vanity
mirror.

"Hey, Edward…" I gave my most confident smile and attempted to come off as
blasé.

It wasn't working.

"What's up, Wang?" I scrunched up my face and rolled my eyes. "I am so lame.
This is so stupid…" Laying my forehead against the steering wheel I poked my
lower lip out and make a fake sobbing sound. "He hates me. I am so,so,so,so
stupid."

What kind of woman runs away from a Johnsonville Bratwurst?

The kind who has been dealing with a Lil' Smoky for the past year: that's who.

We were cool, Edward and I. We were totally and completely at ease together
and I had to go and fall face first into his banana and kumquats. The whole
scenario reeked of Bella Swan Klutz –O – Rama. I knew…I just KNEW I was going
to end up doing something incredibly humiliating in front of him. As if the vomit
and horse shit weren't enough, then I had to go and nuzzle up into his Big Top
and get stuck.

Then he'd started pitching a tent and I felt bad because I was sure it was only
because I was a girl and not because he actually liked me. I was still under the
impression that he'd slayed millions of women with his Excalibur…and therefore
he was just having a Pavlovian response to a face in his crotch.

I mean, the thing had all but patted me on the cheek to say it was okay.

So, when I had run to apologize…and he'd kissed me…I'd kind of taken it as
another smooth move on his part. And I'd really liked it when he kissed me
because it meant I wasn't a freak. But it also meant that I could just be another
notch on his Swiss cheese looking headboard. At the same time, I really wanted
him to kiss me and I liked it and felt bad for liking it, but he made me feel like I
wasn't a leper like Tyler had started to make me feel.

And once Edward had revealed that he actually liked me…well, call me a blind-
sided bitch because I definitely did not see that coming.

I'd thought about it all night on Saturday and all day on Sunday and I couldn't
quite wrap my mind around why I had run. Sure, I really was physically scared of
what he was smuggling in his pants. And, sure, I really did wonder if my Coon
Hole could handle a Harp Seal, if you get what I'm sayin'… But more importantly,
could my heart afford to be broken?

Tyler hadn't really hurt my heart all that much, more my ego.

But there was something about Edward Masen. He was so much more than Tyler
had ever been, already, and that thought scared me. I liked Edward more in six
weeks than I had ever liked another man in my life. And I would be lying if I said
that I didn't have a serious school girl crush on him and wonder what my name
would look like on the teleprompter hyphenated with his.

I would also be lying if I said I didn't think about what it would be like to actually
go out on a date with him, and kiss him for real, and maybe…let him get naked
with me, us getting married and having babies and living happily ever after.

Because, those thoughts were foreign to me.

Living in suburbia with a man who I could crack jokes with and have a family with
and give up everything for was NOT something I had ever intended to do.

But Edward's eyes had freshly cut lawns and white picket fences in them.

After two days of self diagnosis on my own couch, I realized that. It completely
freaked me out. It made me look around myself and at my barely furnished
apartment and reconsider all that I had ever thought I'd wanted.

So, if I could cut it off now, it would never get to the point of me letting him in. I
wouldn't have to make that choice. I could just be Bella Swan, Anchorwoman for
WTWI. And he would work the camera and we'd be friends and that would be it.

Oh, and I would get a huge vibe and name it Wang and pretend that it was him,
while I closed my eyes and fantasized about his eyes and mouth and hands and
various other body parts that I may have encountered at one time or another.

Not that I had already done that.

I mean, it was Sunday when I'd thought of that plan, after all.

Begrudgingly, I sat back up and straightened my shoulders, checking my
reflection in the mirror one more time. I could do this. I could be me and he could
be him and we could work together and not have it be weird that I'd kissed him
and rubbed up on him and then accused him of having too large of a member and
running away from it like it was going to attack me.

Yep.

I could do this.

Walking directly to Make Up, I seated myself in my chair and said good morning
to Alice. She was in a chipper mood and gave me a sweet smile.

"Good morning, Bella. Sorry you had to leave so fast at the picnic. We ended up
doing a three-legged race and water balloon toss. It was really fun until Emmett
started purposely taking everyone's water balloons and throwing them at any
woman with a white t-shirt on." She chuckled and pulled out an applicator for
base.

"Sounds like Emmett," I responded cheerfully.

"Edward said you didn't feel well, so you left. Was it because you were
embarrassed?"

"About what?" I practically yelled. She jumped back a little and stared at me.

"About your face plant into his…" Her hand circled her zipper and she grimaced.

"Oh." I was so stupid. Of course no one would know about anything else. "Yeah.
No. I mean, no, it wasn't that. I think it was an egg salad sandwich or
something."

"Gross," she whispered as she leaned in to apply my foundation. "I hope you're
feeling better?"

"Yeah. Much better, thanks."

"That's good."

We settled into a bit of quiet and I just rested my eyes as I allowed her to work
on me. My thoughts turned to the weekend and I had to remind myself that as
long as I could get through the initial awkward meet and greet, we would be able
to move on and put it all behind us.

"Hello, Isabella."

I shifted in my seat and felt Alice step away so that I could stare at Emmett
standing outside of the doorway, smiling pleasantly.

"Why are you calling me Isabella?" He was up to something, and I knew it.

He shrugged. "There are just too many nicknames for me to call you and I can't
decide which one is my favorite, so I'll just go with your real name." He flashed a
toothy grin and gave Alice a wink.

Something stunk about the whole thing. Stunk like the dumpster behind a Red
Lobster.

"You're up to something fishy," I said lowly, giving him a glare.

"No." He shook his head and held his hands up in supplication. "I just can't work
…Face…into a real, honest-to-God nickname."

I just stared. Something else was coming.

He just stared back.

It was almost as if a legitimate light bulb went off over my head. I leaned forward
and lowered my voice in what I hoped was a menacing hiss. Narrowing my eyes,
I whispered, "What do you know?"

He chuckled and shrugged. "Whatever do you mean?"

I shifted and stood up, pointing my finger at his face. "Tell me what you know
Emmett. Now."

"About you and Edward?" His smirk was making my brain fritz and not in the
good way that Edward did it.

"Oh, my God. Did he tell you? Did you see? Can you even comprehend how I
would get that thing inside of my body? It's not a human appendage…I'm sure
you saw that and were just as surprised as I was that he's carrying a baseball bat
in his pants, so you certainly can't blame me for freaking out and running away
from him because it sure as hell scared the shit out of me and I had no choice
because my flight reflex kicked in and I kept thinking that I would end up in the
E.R. with nineteen stitches and I would have to take time off in order to
recover…"

Emmett's mouth had gone completely slack and his eyes were so wide I was sure
I could actually see a bit of his ocular cavity. His hand lifted slowly and he held up
one finger for me to stop speaking. "I assure you, I was not talking about his
manhood."

Alice made a noise behind me and I turned to see her settling into my chair to
watch this new scene of humiliation unfold. Swiveling back to face Emmett, I felt
my stomach drop. "Then what were you talking about?"

His eyes blinked and his mouth twitched slightly. "I was talking about him kissing
you by the bar. No one else seemed to have noticed and I was just coming in
here to tease you about it, but now…"

I waved my hands frantically and lunged forward to reach up on my tiptoes and
press my hands to his mouth. "Shh, please Emmett. Don't say anything to
anyone."

He backed away and laughed ridiculously loud. "Oh, I'm sorry but this is too good
to keep to myself."

"Please," I pleaded, working my Magic Puppy Dog Eyes and poking out my lower
lip. "I will owe you forever. Just…come on, Emmett. Do me a favor? Just one. Can
you make my life less of a living Hell for one day?"

Emmett gave me a dirty look instead of a reply.

"It's mostly for Edward, okay? He had to have been…I don't know…upset or
something when I ran away from that thing."

Alice cleared her throat and I looked over my shoulder at her.

"What?"

She gazed at me in wonder. "How big was it?"

I rolled my eyes and turned my upper body as I lifted my hands apart from each
other. She simply gasped.

"I know…" I turned back to Emmett and his eyes squinted, mockingly.

"You're making that shit up."

"I'm. Not."

We heard footsteps in the hallway and Emmett finally ripped his gaze from my
hands and a huge grin appeared on his face. "Speak of the devil."

"Ohmygod," I mumbled and rushed back to my seat, shooing Alice out of it so
that I could climb back in. Alice hovered above me, seemingly in a bit of a haze
and I closed my eyes, holding my breath until I heard Emmett greet Edward a
little louder than normal.

"My brother from another mother," he exclaimed and I heard him slap Edward on
the back. At least, I hoped that was where Emmett was slapping him.

I'm going to Hell.

"What's that about?" Edward asked him and I kept my eyes closed so as not to
have to…ya know…look at him.

"Nothing, man. I just think you and I have a lot more in common than I originally
thought."

Stupid Emmett, going on about his own dick size. This wasn't some kind of
contest.

"Oh. Alright. Maybe later you can tell me what that is." Edward's voice was
smooth and even and I couldn't even tell if he had noticed that I was in the room
at all. Alice was busy working on my eyes and I tried to hold still but my nerves
were getting the better of me.

"Stop shaking," Alice barely spoke from between her teeth.

"Sorry," I said back, trying to be just as quiet.

"Good morning, Bella."

My heart leapt in my chest and my fingers tightened on the arm rests that they
were digging into. His voice on its own made me need some 'alone time'.

"H-hhhhhi, Edward."

Damn my stuttering mouth.

I opened my eyes and saw Alice's gaze flicker over towards Edward's lower
extremities.

'Stop it,' I mouthed to her. Her eyes snapped back to my face and she tried to
blink some sort of Morse code at me but I don't know that shit so I just lifted my
knee to hit her with it in her tiny thigh. She jerked a little and tried to convey
with her glare that she would kill me with eyeliner if I did that again.

There was an awkward beat of silence before Emmett mumbled something and I
heard both of them move down the hallway and out of ear shot. Alice finished my
make up before Tyler came in to get his done and I busied myself looking over
the topics we would cover, hyper-focusing on the words so that I could ignore
everything and everyone around me.

Especially Edward.

Not that he was speaking to me or anything; because he wasn't. I pretended not
to notice, but it was glaringly obvious that we were keeping a wide berth of one
another. It was only when I took a moment to grab some coffee that I found
myself passing by him in the hallway. And he looked disturbed.

Slowing my feet, I tilted my head and asked, "What's wrong?" Heat flamed up my
chest as his eyes found mine and he scratched his hand through his hair, looking
quizzical.

"I was just in the bathroom with Emmett and he kept talking to me while I was
trying to…you know…do my thing. But it wasn't like he was actually having a
conversation, he was just mumbling and…" He grimaced and shook his head
quickly. "Forget it. It's a Guy Thing."

Emmett was totally checking out Edward's lemur. That idiot…

"Okay. Well, I'll see you on set," I said softly giving him a small smile.

And that was that. I went on the air, doing my best impersonation of a person
who was unaffected by her surroundings: by the ex-boyfriend reading the news
to her left and by the man she was lusting after behind a camera that she was
speaking directly into. And unaffected by the idiot behind the sports desk that
was trying to catch a peek at said camera man's member that was now going to
be a water cooler conversation topic for weeks, if not months, to come.

I heard Tyler finish his sentence and saw the red light on Edward's camera shift
to green and I smiled right into the lens, watching the teleprompter scroll through
the words that I was meant to say on air. And I smiled as wide as I could as I
pushed back thoughts of what it could be like to let myself be with Edward…to
kiss him and let myself love him and maybe even one day let him see if I was off
on my assumption that there would be no earthly way we could ever have sex…

I needed to stop thinking about Wang's wang…stupid me with wang on the brain.

Lifting my chin, I looked into Edward's camera and let my words roll effortlessly
from my mouth.

"Tonight we'd like to take a moment to honor a local law enforcement member
who got a very prestigious award today. Seattle's own Officer Riley Biers was
awarded the much anticipated Top Cock Award…"

My cheek twitched as my voice caught in my throat and I watched in horror as
Edward's face shifted from behind his camera to stare at me, his mouth pulled
into a grim line and his forehead creased with bafflement.

"Top Cock…Top. Top. Top Cop." I finally got out and smiled into the camera, a
feeling of nausea hitting me with such force that I had to swallow to stop myself
from puking on air.

The air buzzed with tension and electricity as I tried to keep my eyes trained on
the camera, but the tittering of my fellow employees was too much and I made
the dreadful mistake of looking over at Emmett as he was slumped onto the desk,
shaking with laughter.

He slapped his hand down and gasped in a breath. "Top Cock…Whammy!"

It was then that I realized that everything would not be okay between me and
Edward. Because I was staring into his eyes as I said it; and it was obvious in the
way my stare was glued to him; how red my cheeks were; how flushed my chest
was. It was in the way I was leaning forward, frozen and terrified and mentally
screaming for him to save me, but wearing a plastic smile on my face and
sweating profusely instead of abandoning my chair.

I also knew…they would be implementing that damn 5 second delay as soon as I
was finished being written up for my word vomit.

And that I would be put on suspension after I finished kicking Emmett's stupid
ass.

5: The Short Second Life of Muff's Penal-ization

BPOV

The conference room was loud. Between Rose yelling at Angela and Tyler
attempting to talk over Emmett, I couldn't take it.

"Stop!" I yelled and slapped my hands on the conference table. All eyes were on
me, and none of them looked pleased. Except for Emmett, of course.

Rose narrowed her eyes and leaned across the wooden top to glare at me. "You
don't really get a say in this, Bella. This station is going to be in deep shit if you
don't get it together."

Looking away, I blinked back tears.

Angela spoke up, "We either implement the delay or Bella is going to have to take
a week off."

"Why does it have to be one or the other?" I asked, pleadingly.

"Because we are going to be a YouTube phenomenon soon, Bella." Tyler shook
his head at me and scowled.

I stared at Rose. "Does he have to be here? It really doesn't involve him at all."

"This is my job, too!" Tyler stood to his feet quickly. "She's Lead Anchor and the
past two months have been ridiculous."

Rose shot him a death glare. "Sit down, Tyler, before I dismiss you." He sank
back into his seat slowly. He knew better than to mess with Rose. We all did.

Emmett cleared his throat and swiveled in his chair, his hands behind his head
while he looked me over. "I think she's just got…a lot…on her mind." He freaking
snickered.

"I will kill you," I hissed and shot him daggers with my eyes. He smiled wider.

"I need to know what the hell is going on right now. Someone better start
explaining before I replace every single one of you." Rose's nostrils were flaring
and new panic settled into my chest.

"Well, see…Bella and…" Emmett started to speak and I'm not sure what came
over me, but my brain snapped and I lunged at him, my chair flying back into the
wall as I slammed my body into his and slapped my hand over his mouth.

"Shut. It." I growled.

Angela blinked rapidly in surprise.

Rose huffed and placed both of her hands on her face. "Oh my God. That's it. I
quit."

I unlocked my fingers from Emmett's mouth and held up a shaky hand. "We can
talk about it, Rose. Just…it doesn't involve Emmett or Tyler. And I would feel
more comfortable not talking about it in front of them."

Emmett tsked. "Nothing I haven't heard before."

Rose threw him a look. "Out. Both of you. Now."

He raised his eyebrows at her and a smile crept up on his face. And then he
winked.

What. The. Hell?

Tyler left, muttering under his breath and Emmett followed behind, looking smug.
When they were gone and the door was closed, I settled back into my seat and
faced Rose and Angela. They looked back at me expectantly.

"Speak or take a vacation. I'll send your ass to Isle Esme if I need to. You're
losing it, Bella. I've never seen you like this. Your professionalism is nil. And your
focus is shot. You've turned into a twelve year old girl all of a sudden and I'm not
sure if it's because of the break up with Tyler, but it coincides with the timing so I
can only assume…"

"Edward kissed me and I ran away from his massive member at the picnic." It
came out so quickly I had no opportunity to stop it.

Rose's face was priceless.

Angela's was confused.

"So…you've been talking about sex and penises because you…literally…have been
thinking about Edward's?" Rose's voice was getting louder and I flinched.

"Yes."

Angela leaned on her hand, interest piqued. "Why did you run away?"

"Because it's huuuuge," I said, bringing my hands up to show them.

Their eyes grew wide.

Rose squinted. "That might be bigger than Emmett's…"

"What?" I yelled, clasping my hands over my mouth to stifle my surprise and
gagging.

She pressed her lips together and stared at me for a split second before bursting
into laughter. "Yeah," she choked. "Emmett's packing an Escalade in his
pants…but that's a stretch limo. My God."

I shook my head, trying to understand what she was saying. "Please don't use
car analogies, Rose. It hurts my head."

"That's gonna hurt more than your head," Angela whispered with awe.

"I know!" I threw my hands up in desperation. "SEE? Even Angela knows that
being in contact with that monstrosity would cause me physical harm. And the
sad thing is that Tyler's pretty much got a VW Rabbit in his Dockers, so I'm not

used to even being able to feel anything during sex and now I have to worry
about a telephone pole!"

Rose blinked in silence.

I sighed. "Wait. I just realized you said that you know what Emmett's dick looks
like."

She nodded. "I know more than what it looks like…"

"Since when?"

She smiled. "About a month ago, I guess. After you got him drunk at the bar one
Friday night." A glassy look crossed her eyes and she sighed. "He's an idiot when
he's here, but you would never, ever believe how smart he really is. Or how nice
his chest is." Her fingers opened like they were rubbing imaginary pecs. "And I'll
admit that I thought he'd be a lazy and selfish lover, but…" her cheeks reddened,
"he's a giver."

"Should we have HR in here?" I asked, looking at Angela for help. But Ms. Weber
seemed to be entranced by Rose's story and she looked like she was imagining as
well.

Rose shook her head, 'no'. "This discussion does not need another party involved,
Bella. What needs to happen is this: You. Need. To. Get. Laid. You have cock on
the brain and if you don't get laid, you're going to get fired."

"This can't be ethical," I lamented and closed my eyes.

"Oh. Ethical? Fine. I'll fill out your paperwork now and we'll discuss your future
elsewhere." Rose was being dead serious.

"So, either I bang the camera man or I'm fired?" I was shocked.

"If not him, then someone else. I don't care. But if all you think about is getting
some and then you deprive yourself of it, you're going to keep dropping innuendo
in camera and I'll be forced to dismiss you. It's a liability, Bella."

"What if I die?" I whispered, wide-eyed.

"What are you, nine years old? Do a couple of shots of vodka and take one for
the team, Swan. Your job depends on it." She slammed her fist down on the table
and stared me straight in the eyes. "All of our jobs depend on it."

I nodded.

"Can you do it?" She was challenging me.

"Yeah. I can do it." I glared back.

Rose's mouth puckered and she nodded once. "Good. Now, get out of here. Go
shave your legs. Get your bits waxed. Buy a new bra and some liquor. I expect
that you'll show up to work tomorrow in a better…head…space. Got it?"

I stood to my feet, feeling like a soldier preparing for war. "Got it."

"Be careful," Angela squeaked.

Giving a small salute, I stared at her solemnly. "Always." Turning on my heels I
headed towards the door, pausing and looking over my shoulder gravely. "If I'm

not here tomorrow, tell my parents that I love them. And I'm requesting a closed
casket; because if I die being impaled by...that…then I am sure the outcome
won't be pretty."

Rose chuckled. "Out. Come. Nice one."

Angela buried her face in her hands and laughed, and the sound of their
perverted encouragement was all I needed to prepare myself to complete my
assignment. I would apologize to Edward. And then I would attempt to seduce
him.

I had never been more terrified of taking one for the team.

Chapter 6: Egg Sandwiches for the Sex Starved Soul

EPOV

I sat in my room, my feet crossed and propped on my desk with my Mac on my
lap. A pen was shoved in between my teeth while I looked over James' footage
from earlier. We'd found a subject to do our documentary on, and James had
spent the last few days doing some minor camera work so I told him that I would
look over the footage to see what we could start with.

Adjusting my glasses on my nose, I moved a frame out of the project and tried to
seam the ones before and after it. I hummed along with the music from my
iTunes as I did some fine-tuning of the film. James had spent the day with
Laurent, our homeless subject. He'd been shadowing him as well as asking some
questions about how he'd gotten into his situation as well as how he survived.

Laurent was a subject that we'd talk diligently about for a while, because he lived
in the alley just beyond our condo. We'd been passing by him since we'd moved
in, and he'd had a draw to him that we both experienced. And what had shocked
us the most was that he didn't want any help.

He chose to be a vagrant.

I chewed on my pen as I worked, listening as the music drifted out of my
speakers.

If you're sitting comfortably then let me begin.

I want to tell you a tale about the mess that I'm in.

And it all starts with a girl.

And she's breaking up my whole world.

My mind began to drift towards Bella and I had to take a moment to close my
eyes as the strange feeling of rejection settled into my chest.

She's got these big green eyes, and they're as wide as the moon.

They can take you to bed without you leavin' the room.

I would kill just to be her man,

but she's too cool to give a damn.

The entire situation at the park had left me reeling, and not in the good way I
had been thinking it would.

She makes me feel like a king,

she makes me feel like a freak

She plays on me because she knows that I'm weak

And she knows just what to say, just to brighten up my day.

She'd been so close…so ready. And then, she freaked out and made me feel like
there was something wrong with me. If I were anyone else, that may have made
me become defensive and angry towards her, but that just wasn't me.

So now I'm feeling sick,

and she's still having fun

I guess she thinks that I'm thick, or maybe a little dumb

But it makes no use to me,

I'm a fool for misery.

And now people were staring at my crotch at work and that could only lead me to
believe that she had ended up telling people what happened, which seemed really
out of character for her, but if I was being honest with myself: I didn't really
know her at all.

I'm falling in love for the last time

I'm falling in love forever and ever.

Yet, I felt like I'd known her my whole damn life.

Falling in love with a girl that ain't mine

Pulling my glasses off, I laid them on the desk and pressed my pointer finger and
thumb onto the bridge of my nose, while I mulled over what could have possibly
gone wrong. I wasn't a physical anomaly or anything. She had to have been
making it up just so she could get away from me, and that hurt worse than
anything else.

I placed my Macbook on the desk and stood up to stretch, gazing at my Morgan
Spurlock poster. It was on the inside of my open closet door. He was staring at
me with that surprised look and a mouthful of French fries, and I nodded to
myself. I needed to remember why I took the job at the station to begin with.
Bella was just the icing on the cake to a good situation. She was not the reason I
had started there.

And she would not be the reason that I left, either.

My mind was made up.

She would never be mine.

"Uh…Mase?"

I turned towards my closed bedroom door at the sound of James' voice. "Yeah?" I
called loudly.

He cleared his throat and I heard him press his face into the space where the
door met the frame. "You have a…guest."

"Shut up, dude. If I open that door and you've farted, I'm gonna be pissed." I
shook my head. How many times did he think I was going to fall for that same
joke?

"No, you seriously have a guest at the door. She's waiting in the kitchen with V."

She?

"She?" I cracked the door open and he stumbled forward a bit with the release of
the door.

"Yeah. She. You know, the hot news chick you work with?" He smiled wide and
double pumped his eyebrows, like a perverted weirdo.

"Bella?" I asked before I could think to not say her name out loud.

He snapped his fingers. "That one. Yep. She's a lil'," he made a motion with his
hand to mime that she was drunk.

Perfect.

I opened the door and poked my head out to look into the kitchen, and sure
enough, there she was. My heart stuttered a bit and I frowned. Why would she be
here? And how did she know where I lived?

James patted me on the shoulder and whistled lowly. "Are you gonna hit that
tonight?"

"You're an idiot," I reprimanded him. Clearly she was not interested in sleeping
with me. Maybe she was just here to talk to me about work. Or apologize for
telling people that I had a midget in my pants.

I slipped around James and walked slowly towards the kitchen, so as not to
startle her as she was talking to Victoria. Bella was leaning against the
refrigerator and had a lock of Victoria's red hair curled around one of her fingers
as she smiled happily.

"Your hair is so pretty," she slurred.

Victoria giggled and pulled a handful of granola out of the container she had in
her hands.

Wonderful. Vicki was high and Bella was inebriated.

"Bella?" I called to her and her head swiveled in my direction. Her eyes swam for
a moment before landing solely on me and she smiled, letting Victoria's hair fall
and bob back into place.

"Wang," she breathed and pushed away from the fridge.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, keeping my distance from her.

She blinked a couple of times and licked her lips quickly. "I wanted to talk to you.
About Saturday and today. Is that okay?"

My head was telling me that something was off about the entire scenario, but my
heart really wanted to let her have her say. So I simply nodded and turned,
waving my hand for her to follow me back to my room. Once I was inside, I
walked around quickly, picking up stray pieces of clothing off of the floor and
putting them into my hamper.

She stepped into my bedroom and I heard her come to rest in front of my bed.
Turning towards her, I tried to figure out what she was looking at with such wide
eyes. Following her gaze, I landed on my music collection that was stacked
amongst my favorite books and my prized collection of movies.

Oh, sure, she was impressed with the size of that.

"You're a nerd," she blurted out, before wincing and snapping her mouth shut.

I laughed and shoved my hands into my pockets. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"But you're so hot. How can you be a nerd and still be as hot and confident and
manly…as you are?"

Settling onto my computer chair I looked at her like she was crazy. "I have no
idea what you're talking about. I've never claimed to be any of those things that
you just named."

She tilted her head and looked me over for a second before she sat down on my
bed to face me. "You don't have to say that you're any of those things. You just
are."

I leaned back into the chair and crossed my arms, staring at her and trying not to
be affected by her presence. "Why are you here, Bella? You made it clear that
you don't want to have anything to do with me. You don't have to explain
anything…I heard you loud and clear."

A flush was sweeping up her neck and she dropped her eyes to my comforter,
letting her hand run over the material. "I didn't run away from…just that,
Edward." She muttered something imperceptible under her breath.

"What, then?" I asked, unsure of whether or not I should go to her. A part of me
legitimately thought she would run away again.

"It's a lot of things." Her face turned upwards again but her eyes landed on some
of my equipment. "Is that your camera?" She asked suddenly, slipping off of the
bed and holding herself steady.

"Yeah," I looked over at the camcorder. "You should probably steer clear of it
seeing as how you're obliterated."

Bella gave me a dirty look, like she was insulted. "I am not." Almost tripping over
my feet, she headed for the camera. My fingers itched to stop her but I just sat
still and watched her take the camera in her hands. She flipped the viewer open
and turned the power on before angling the lens towards me. "Mr. Masen…you
should really consider a future in television. The camera really likes you."

I leaned back and rested my hands behind my head. "Does it?"

"Oh, very much. You're very pretty."

"Pretty. Thanks." I rolled my eyes and pushed down another laugh. "Why are you
here, Bella?"

She sighed and placed the video camera on the bookshelf. Allowing herself a
moment, she fiddled with the viewer and stepped back to smile into the lens. "Do
you know why I wanted to be an anchor, Edward?"

"No."

"My dream is to do reporting for a national affiliate. I'd love to be on 20/20 or
Dateline." She pretended to hold up a microphone. "Instead of Maureen Maher
talking about sadistic killers, I want it to be me." She sighed and turned back to
look at me, cautiously. "I'm fascinated by that stuff. I always have been."

"Really?" It wasn't something I would have assumed about her.

She nodded excitedly and climbed back onto my bed. "Oh, yeah. The Black
Dahlia? Jack the Ripper? Or…Karla Homolka. I actually belong to a website that
follows her online to see where she is. A female serial killer…part of a couple…one
who does whatever it takes in order to make her man love her, even if it meant
killing her own sister. Fascinating. You should see my bookshelves at home: True
crime everywhere." Her hand waved off to her side as if to say that she lived in a
sea of grisly murder literature.

I leaned forward and planted my elbows on my knees.

She blinked a little and grimaced. "But, I'll never get where I need to be if I keep
screwing up on the news, Edward." Her mouth opened a little and she laughed. "I
need to have sex with you."

Suddenly she didn't sound quite as drunk as she had before.

It would be a straight lie if I said that I didn't have an immediate reaction to that
sentence, but I was also a little confused. "I don't understand. You need to have
sex with me? Why?"

Bella looked thoughtful. "Because if I don't, if we don't, then I'll keep thinking
about 'what if' and it will be the only thing I think about and every time you're
behind the camera. I will be thinking about us in the woods and what could have
been…"

I held out my hand to stop her. "You need to have sex with me…for your career?"

She looked terrified. "Yes."

"No."

Bella's mouth fell open in surprise. "What? Why not?"

I stood up and walked towards the door. "I don't want to have sex with you just
so that you can scratch your curious itch, Bella." It was unbelievable that she was
even thinking about this. "I'm going to make you something to eat so that you
can sober up."

8==========================================D

She finished the egg sandwich in silence, sitting on my bed and looking through a
magazine. It didn't upset me that she was leaving crumbs everywhere. I just
wanted her to sober up so that she could get a cab home and get some rest.
Taking a swig of the orange juice I had poured for her, she looked up at me
shyly.

"Thank you. It was delicious."

"You're welcome." I reached over and grabbed her plate and the remainder of her
juice. Without even thinking, I swigged the rest of it and made my way to the
door. "Another twenty minutes and you should be okay to leave."

She looked so dejected.

I put the dishes away and headed back into my room, surprised to see that she
was now sitting on the edge of my bed, chewing her lip and looking at the ends of
her hair. Sitting back in my chair, I swiveled around to face her and planted my
legs outside of hers. She looked up and I could have sworn I saw fear in her
eyes.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to coax her into telling me what she was thinking.

"I don't know how to explain it."

"Try."

She nodded. "I lied."

"About what?" I asked; placing my hands on hers to stop her from picking at her
split ends.

"About needing to be with you for my job." She shut her eyes tight and sighed.
"I'm scared to be with you. So I made shit up about you being freakishly huge."
Her eyes popped open. "Not that you aren't, but…that wouldn't have stopped me
from sleeping with you."

My heart stuttered a bit and I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I like you, Edward. A lot. Like, more than I think I've liked someone…anyone
else, before. And I'm afraid. Afraid to fall for you. Afraid that we could do this and
it would be horrible and then I'd lose you as a friend and one of the only
confidants I have at the station. Afraid that I want you more than you want me…"
Her eyes looked so saddened by her last confession.

"And what if I want you just as much? Or more?" I asked, my defenses shattering
as I stared into her eyes.

"What if the entire thing is in our heads?"

"Huh?"

She held her hands up helplessly. "Okay, it's like…when Ross got his monkey on
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Remember?" Her face tightened as she tried to explain. "How
awesome was that monkey? He was so damn cute and tiny and he was a little
hairy man-baby thing. And I know I personally wanted one. But think about it. If
I'd gotten a monkey, it would have eaten my shoes and shit in my dresser and it
would have turned against me at some point and tried to nom on my face and
then I'd have been disfigured all because I thought this monkey was cute and
wanted one but it was a really, really bad idea because I'm not meant to have a
monkey…"

Her breath was coming in panicked spurts and she was wild-eyed, freaking
herself out with all of the stuff in her head. And I knew what she was trying to
say, because falling for someone was scary, but believing that you just weren't
meant to have it at all was something completely different.

"Bella," I said evenly, trying to get her to calm down. She blinked rapidly and
took in a deep breath, pleading with her eyes for me to understand.

And I did understand.

So I did what I had wanted to do from the first day I saw her. I leaned in and
took her cheeks in my hands and kissed her on my bed. I kissed her sweetly, and
with purpose. It wasn't just to shut her up; it was to prove that she was wrong.

Her hands rested against my elbows and I felt them travel up my arms to my
shoulders, sweeping in to my neck and around to the back of my head as she
relaxed and inched closer to me. I pulled the chair in until it was resting against
her knees and she let out a breathy sigh. Pulling my face from hers, I ran my
nose across her cheek and up to press a kiss against her forehead.

"You definitely deserve a monkey, Bella."

She laughed, quick and sharp, her fingers tightening in my hair and her shoulders
bobbing with the movement. The chuckle turned into a fit of giggles and before I
knew it, she was pulling me to her as she gasped for air and tightened her hold
on my neck, effectively pulling me from my seat and over her as she settled onto
my comforter. Bella looked up into my eyes and smiled, so shy and bright, but
tinged with worry, and I wanted to wipe that look from her face. Whether with
words, or actions, or kisses.

Whatever it would take, I would do.

"Why do you like me, Edward Masen?" She whispered and ran a fingertip over the
shell of my ear, causing my chest to explode in goose bumps.

I smiled slightly, looking deeply into her eyes. "Because you … are not what
people expect. You're funny and silly, and yet you'd do anything for your job. And
you're smart." I raised my eyebrows a little. "Plus you kiss really, really well."

She smirked. "Do I?"

I nodded and dropped my face to run my lips across hers again, feather-light.
She shifted and pushed herself up towards the headboard, just barely missing my
face with her knee. Settling against my pillow, she looked down at me, silently
inviting me with her gaze, and licking her lower lip quickly.

I didn't need another invitation as I stared at her: Bella Swan, on my bed. No
longer crazy drunk. She was simply lying on my bed in her jeans and a black t-
shirt that was pulling and wrinkling in between her breasts, it was pulled so tight.
And it had ridden up a bit to reveal the milky flesh of her stomach; the soft skin
calling to me sweetly, inviting me to lick and taste; to nip and touch with my
hands.

Slowly, I pulled each of her shoes from her feet and slid my fingers up the leg of
her jeans to remove her socks one at a time. Her feet shifted a little when they
were gone and I let my hands remain on her calves, outside of the jeans while I
crawled my way up her body, sliding fingers over denim as I did, looking her in
the face the entire way.

She didn't flinch. She didn't make any move to escape. She wanted this and so
did I.

And tonight we would have it.

Chapter 7: Vagazzled

BPOV

I felt like such an idiot, but the alcohol had made the edges of all of my thoughts
kind of fuzzy, and it also made my toes numb and my legs feel a little heavier. I
was in much better shape than when I'd first arrived, and after I realized that I
was telling Edward half truths and lies, I hated the fact that I had allowed myself
to be so vulnerable and put into this position in the first place.

Speaking of positions.

Edward was inching his way up my lower body, his hands sliding deftly over my
jeans as he came closer and his knees slid in between my legs, parting my thighs
as they went. He was staring at my body like he was trying not to lose his cool
and attack me. It made me shiver to think that he was probably capable of
ripping my panties off with his teeth.

Geeks watch a lot of internet porn, right?

I was lost in my mental void, wondering if he would like it if I called him Obi Wan
and told him he was my only hope. But before I could fully imagine myself with
cinnamon buns on each side of my head, Edward was face to face with me and
holding himself over my body, his arms resting by my shoulders as he gazed into
my eyes.

No more words. I didn't want to talk anymore. I really, really wanted to kiss
Edward. And I seriously wanted to see him in all of his naked glory.

His face lowered to mine and I closed my eyes as our lips met again. These kisses
were sweet and slow, every inch of his mouth was on mine, encasing my lower lip
as he sucked and nibbled gently before flicking his tongue out to softly lave it
over the throbbing spot. It sent electricity straight into my jeans, and with his
knees pressing so firmly in between my thighs, I was thankful to have some
resistance to push against.

Shaky hands slid up his hips and beneath his t-shirt, caressing the supple skin of
his stomach and higher until I brushed my fingertips over his nipples. He sucked
in a sharp breath and chuckled when I did it again. It was exciting, knowing that I
was the one who was making him pant and hiss as my hands roamed freely up
his chest beneath his shirt. With a nudge, he sat back and reached behind him to
grasp the cotton and pull it over his head.

My eyes almost crossed being that close to him…shirtless. His lean muscles were
flexing as he threw the shirt onto the floor, and I stared openly at his stomach. It
was flat and defined, his abs cut and sleek, leading my gaze to travel down to
where the party disappeared into his pants.

"Mph," I kind of whined.

He leaned down to me and ran his knuckles across my cheek. "Okay?"

"Better than okay," I nodded excitedly. "You're perfect."

Edward chuckled again and craned his neck to apply a soft kiss to my throat. My
brain was fritzing again and I desperately wanted to get him undressed now that
I had talked myself into this actually happening. I couldn't get his shorts open

fast enough and my fingers were fumbling against his button and zipper like a
high school freshman at Winter Formal.

He opened his mouth against my neck and I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt
his teeth lightly scrape against the now moist skin before his tongue darted out
and tasted me there. My senses were working overtime, trying to touch as much
of him as I could while drowning myself in his scent and attempting to taste his
shoulder as I kissed up and down the curve of his neck.

"Edward…" I sounded so needy, but the truth was that it was just that: I needed
this.

His hips lifted a bit and I got his button and zipper undone to try and shift them
down and over his hips. His hands kneaded and pulled at my shirt and as soon as
I was sure his shorts were low enough for him to wiggle out of, I sat up and lifted
my arms, giving an unsure smile as he gazed down on me and slowly pulled my
shirt over my head.

His eyes glazed over and he smirked. "I love that bra…"

I looked down in confusion. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You wore it the first day we met and I saw it under your suit jacket." He
swallowed thickly and ran one long finger across the edge of the lace over my left
breast.

Instantly, I felt a flood of liquid drench my panties.

The way he was curved into me made seeing his body virtually impossible, and
when he dipped his face to nestle his nose in my cleavage, I whimpered. His
kisses were soft and his hands pressed the sides of the bra inward, presenting my
leopard covered ladies to him fully. He buried his face between them and my
head lolled back into the headboard when his tongue swept slowly over the swell
of both.

Fisting his hair in my hand, I wiggled beneath him and pressed his face more
forcefully there. My body was flushed hot with excitement and want, need and
little sparks of pleasure. And I had to stop myself from just reaching between us
to fist his joy stick and win a nice game of Pac Man.

Come on. White dots?

Jeebus.

And then suddenly I felt his hands running along the expanse of skin over my ribs
and around my back to unhook my bra and I had to lean forward into him more
and I felt…it…poke me in the belly button.

My lips disentangled from his and I looked up in shock, panting for air.

"What?" He looked so alarmed.

I shook my head. "Nothing. Just…I want to see you."

His eyes softened and he kissed me once more, his lips pulling on mine as his
body moved away to stop crowding me into the headboard. I held my eyes shut
for a moment until I felt his mouth release mine and slowly…slowly… I opened
them and inhaled a lungful of much needed air.

Sliding my legs over the side of the bed, I stood with shaky thighs, staring at him
lying before me, completely nude and every inch of him beautiful. I was topless
and somehow the top button on my jeans had come undone. And as I took him
in, inch by cocky inch, I smiled. My fingers rested on the waistband of my jeans
and I held his eye contact as I let the teeth on my zipper release slowly, noting
how his eyes followed the movement, entranced.

I'm not sure if it was the remaining effects of the liquor, or the way he was
looking at me, or how incredible he was propped up on the bed on his elbows.
Maybe it was the way his long legs were bent a little and how the divots in his
pelvis only accentuated his thick cock, or the playful sparkle in his eyes as I
dipped my thumbs into my panties. Whatever it was, I was lost in a fog of lust
and felt more brazen and empowered than I had in my entire life.

I cocked a brow coyly and slipped the denim and underwear down my legs with
one push and then placed my hands on my hips as I kicked them off of my legs,
posing before him in all of my naked glory.

"What the hell is that?" He asked, sitting straight up, frowning in confusion.

Quickly, I looked down at where his face was hovering just an inch in front of my
lady bits.

"Oh." It was all I could manage out. In my drunken haze I had forgotten about
my outing earlier in the day.

Too late now.

"I got Vagazzled."

His eyebrows shot straight up and he stared at me with an open mouth. "A
what?"

Pointing to the rhinestones on my Coon Box, I shrugged. "Vagazzled. I went to
get waxed but got scared and the girl said that she could do some 'landscaping'
down there and make it sparkly. She'd already given me a couple of shots of
vodka, and I'm pretty sure I just wanted to get it to look pretty for you, and Rose
had told me to take the rest of the day off to get some stuff done, so I ended up
with this…" My words trailed off and I suddenly felt really stupid.

Edward's eyes narrowed and he leaned in again. "What is it?"

I tilted my head and let my fingers run over the jewels. "Guess it depends on
which way you're looking at it. From this angle, it's an 'M'." Shifting my pelvis
towards the lamplight coming from the corner I pursed my lips. "From where
you're sitting, it's a 'W'." I lifted my eyes to him and blushed. "I figured no matter
which way you turned me you'd see Wang or Masen."

"Holy shit," he hissed and brushed his knuckles across his erection. "That's the
sexiest thing anyone has ever done for me."

"Really?" I laughed, feeling less embarrassed by the brash gesture.

Instead of answering, he gripped my hips and jerked me towards his face, placing
a hungry kiss over my mound. My fingers dug into his scalp and my back arched
into him while my eyes slid closed. His right hand trailed across my thigh and
around towards my cheek, caressing it softly before sliding lower. Long fingers
curled around my kneecap and I swayed a bit when he lifted my leg, pushing my
thighs apart and planting my foot on his bed.

His mouth was instantly on me, tongue darting out timidly at first until I pulled on
his hair and leaned my head against the wall for support. It was a precarious
position, but his hold on me was strong. I watched in awe as his face shifted even
deeper into me and his tongue ran a wide circle around my clit, making my knees
shake.

My hips flexed towards him and I slapped the wall with an open palm, whispering
his name and reveling in the feeling of actually being touched like I meant
something to someone. It was passion and warmth, and hands that actually knew
what they were doing.

And that's when his thumb slid in between my lips and pressed firmly against my
clit.

"God…nomygohd," I screamed. My head hit against the wall harshly and I fisted
his hair again. He looked up at me, his pink lips slyly pulled upwards as he
continued to circle the nub forcefully. My legs were threatening to give out and I
shook, watching helplessly as he released my thigh and set his other hand to
work, sliding two fingers of his other hand against my entrance, applying the
slightest amount of pressure before delving in effortlessly and twisting, just to
curl in and hit my g-spot. The thumb on my clit slowed and his other four fingers
crept upwards to press on the outside of my bedazzled Muff box, and he pressed
in as the fingers inside pressed out and I lost my air.

Both of my hands were slapping the wall now as I wailed, head thrown back and
legs giving out under the sheer ecstasy of the orgasm he had just ripped from
me. I hadn't even really had time to feel the heat and coil, or heavy apprehension
that I usually got when I was by myself. It had happened so quickly that I didn't
even know…to be blunt…what was coming.

My legs gave out and I slid against the wall to the floor, my knees buckling and
folding inwards as I hit the floor.

"Bella," he whispered with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Okay?" I laughed lightly at first and pressed my palms to my eyelids. "Epic
understatement of the year, Mr. Masen."

His hands were around my calves and he pulled me across the carpet towards
him, bending once I was close enough to lift my languid form against him. I
slumped into his chest and closed my eyes, relishing the moment as my body
began to come down from my high. His palms squeezed and worked across my
scalp, tilting my head up to allow his mouth to find mine again.

I sighed when his tongue flicked out and slid over my own, the warmth of his
breath and the wet of his lips intermingling with the remnants of my arousal on
his mouth and chin. And suddenly, I was pushing him back and straddling his
hips, feeling his dick pressing in between my cheeks and settling against my
spine before I looked into his eyes and lifted his hands to my breasts.

A slight glimmer of light caught my eye and I giggled as I leaned down to retrieve
one of the Vagazzle crystals from his cheek. He chuckled and watched as I flicked
it across the room. "Just a little something to remind you of tonight," I joked.

He ran his thumbs across my nipples and bit his lip. "I'll remember this, Bella."

My entire body shuddered and while he pulled and massaged my breasts, I
moved one hand to his thigh, allowing the other to slip behind my back and grip

onto his massive member. He closed his eyes and squeezed me tighter, his hips
lifting a bit as I twisted my grip and slid my hand upwards.

Suddenly his eyes flew open and he reluctantly pulled his hands from my chest.
"Umm, how do you want to do this?"

I cocked my head to the side and let my hand pump him again. "Huh?"

He winced. "You've got me all freaking out and thinking that I'm going to hurt
you. And I can't think of one position that you'll be comfortable in."

Well, Hell. I hadn't given it much thought.

Clearly he had, though. And I wondered exactly how many positions he knew
about. I mean, honestly, isn't everything just a variation of the same three
standard ones?

I certainly didn't want him thinking I was Missionary Mary…

"Just like this," I murmured, running my hand over him again. He nodded and
lowered his hands to my hips to lift me up and suddenly I was over him, his cock
at my entrance and I stared at him wide-eyed, fear and panic suddenly hitting
me right before he lowered me down.

How was I going to do this? A Pringles can would never ever fit inside of me, and
here I was about to be impaled. Instead of giving birth, I was going to have
something the size of a newborn shoved up inside of me and I wasn't sure if I
had actually thought the entire thing through.

I tensed and held my breath, digging my fingernails into his arms as he held me
steady. "Wait," I squeaked, my eyes clenched tight and my lips pressed together.
"I don't know, Edward. I'm serious."

His face twisted in part agony and part disbelief. "Relax. I swear, if you just
relax…"

My hands dug deeper into his flesh and I blinked furiously. I was going to die. No
amount of foreplay in the world could prepare me for what was about to happen,
and yet…

I felt him lower me slowly, the tip grazing my entrance before pressing into me
and slipping in just slightly. I lost my breath and my eyes flew open, staring
directly into his while I dropped lower onto his shaft.

"See?" He asked, encouraging me with a soft smile and clenched jaw.

Oh, no…maybe my vag is huge?

Choking in a ragged breath, I bit my lip and slid a little lower, noting how tense
my arms and stomach were as I adjusted to him entering me. It was pain and
pleasure and a hundred different emotions and feelings coursing through my
body and suddenly, I closed my eyes, letting my head fall forward as I inched
lower and lower until there was no more room for either of us and I was flush
with his pelvis, shaking and trembling above him.

My knees settled onto the mattress and I allowed my weight down onto him, and
whimpered as I relaxed my muscles. It was amazing…no other word to describe
it. Every last doubt and fear that I had conjured up in my head went out the
window when I allowed myself to experience this moment. It was unlike anything

else I'd ever known…My body and his body, fully immersed in each other and
fitting perfectly like a hand in a glove.

Every last part of me was filled by him and I let go of every preconceived notion I
had about being with this man.

His hand on my abdomen pulled me from my reverie and I gazed down at his
face, his eyes wide and his mouth pulled tight. "Okay, Bella...You have to move."

Oops.

I nodded, dazed and a little out of sorts. Lifting myself up with my knees, I
moaned, feeling him slide inside of me, out and then back in, rocking my hips
forward as I settled again. It was quiet other than the sounds of our bodies
connecting, the wet, slick sounds of us…moaning and breathing heavily, skin over
skin and fingers digging into one another so viciously I half hoped I would be
bruised from it.

Maybe there was music? I didn't care.

We stayed this way for a few minutes until he rolled his hips and we tumbled to
our sides, his hold on my waist so tight that I rolled effortlessly with him, and he
settled my calf on his hip. We faced each other and his hands cradled my face,
his mouth attacking mine as his hips shifted back and into me over and over
again. I felt the growing weight in my abdomen this time and I moaned loudly as
I clutched to him, one hand in his hair and the other on his bicep.

It was so intimate and I could feel every part of his body; in me, around me,
against me, below me. I'd never been so close with a man before and I could
barely register my thoughts as we kissed and moved effortlessly.

Our hips were rolling quickly, feverishly as we kissed, tongues intermingling and
grunts or moans spilling from our mouths in between our open lips. My entire
body was attuned to his movements, how he held me, the connection of our skin
and limbs entangled.

"You…are so good," he choked out and gripped my hair in between his fingers,
holding the strands taut as he began to move faster. "So beautiful, Bella…God, I
wanted you so much…"

And his words sent my heart soaring, my eyes open and watching his face as the
warmth gathered in my abdomen and my breath grew almost nonexistent before
I tensed and felt my whole body go rigid. And I called his name, my eyes closed
and cheek pressed to his chin as I came forcefully and recklessly, writhing against
him and pulling him to me, my calf wrapped around his ass and my lips chanting
inaudible words that only made sense to me.

He held the back of my head and his pumping became erratic and sharp,
punctuated by throaty moans, and then he simply whispered my name once, low
and breathy as he jerked into me and sighed. He slowly stilled and wrapped me
in his embrace, and I felt, for the first time, like I had someone.

It wasn't for my career. It wasn't for anyone but me. I hadn't been touched like
that…ever. I'd certainly never experienced a connection like that with anyone.
And I'd never, ever, in my entire existence, felt so right about something.

Edward was my glass half full.

Eventually, his grip on me lessened and he rolled back a bit to look up into my
eyes. And I saw it, then: He felt it too. He looked peaceful and content, and not
just sexually satisfied.

"Stay with me tonight?" He asked, his voice husky from the exertion.

I sighed and smiled lazily. "Absolutely."

Edward rolled away, pulling from me achingly slow, leaving me empty, and stood
to grab a towel from his closet, cleaning off and offering me the chance to do the
same. Wordlessly, I did and then climbed up under his covers, snuggling into
sheets that smelled like him.

He turned off all of the lights and crawled under the covers beside me, wrapping
a strong arm over my chest to pull me close. Edward kissed my head sweetly and
murmured good night, tightening his grip and settling my back into his chest.

And just before I fell asleep, I had the happy thought that maybe things would
work out between us after all.

8: Lights, Camera...Sack-tion

BPOV

I awoke slowly, flexing my toes a little and tugging on the pillow as I turned over.
My eyes opened a crack and I mentally checked myself. Hips? Fine. Thighs? A
little sore but fine. Bedazzled Muff Box?

I shimmied a bit and winced when one of the rhinestones snagged on the sheet.

Probably gonna have to replace those. They were, like, twelve thread count
anyway.

"Are you still in one piece?" Edward's teasing caused me to lift my head to see he
was watching me with a grin from behind his laptop.

"Why are you over there and not here?" I asked with a raspy voice, patting the
comforter with my hand. "Were you trying to make me feel abandoned after our
torrid affair?"

He chuckled and ran his hands through his hair and over his face. "No." He
stretched then, his long arms spreading open to give me a full view of his chest. I
shut my mouth to contain my drool.

"Do I smell, then?" I asked, giving him a face and plopping back down onto the
pillow.

I watched from the corner of my eye as he placed his laptop back on the desk
and shook his head before crawling back into the bed with me. "Your hair takes
up seventy percent of my pillow space, but, no…you don't smell."

I lifted a hand curiously to the top of my head.

Freakin' A. I had Carrot Top head.

This most likely meant that I had raccoon eyes and a nice drool stain on my
cheek, too. I resisted the urge to check the pillow for a wet spot.

"I guess you'll be kicking me out now that you know what I look like in the
morning." I closed my eyes and tried not to actually die in his bed of
embarrassment. If I died, he would have to clean up my shit and piss, too. And
probably some egg-sandwich-vodka vomit.

Not that he hadn't been in that position before.

I smiled a little at the thought of him in his overalls.

"What are you smirking at?" he asked, amused.

"You in overalls."

"I can put them on if you'd like."

I sat up a little and glared at him. "No thanks." A snort sounded from my mouth
and I slapped my hand to my face.

He just grinned wider. "I think you're pretty adorable all messy and properly
screwed."

My thighs tensed as the word slipped from between his lips. I was properly
screwed, indeed.

"I got up and made some egg muffins." He looked a little shy when he said it and
it made me want to lick his face. "It's my Mom's recipe…it's just eggs, cheese and
meat scrambled up in a muffin pan."

"Well aren't you just the Renaissance Man?"

He lifted a brow. "Oh, I think you saw how talented I was last night…"

I couldn't hold back my laughter now. "Wow. You sure are a cocky bastard."

He winked.

"Oh, whatever. It wasn't that impressive."

Edward narrowed his eyes. "What was that?"

"I said…I made a bigger deal out of it than…it…was." I sat up and gave an
apologetic shrug. "Perhaps I have more of an imagination than I thought?"
Gesturing towards his lower half, "It wasn't anything to brag about…"

He was on me in a flash, straddling my stomach and shaking his head. "You were
singing a whole different song just a few short hours ago." His hands captured
my wrists and held them above my head against the pillow. "Perhaps you need
me to jog your memory?"

Mmm. Morning sex. My favorite. I was pretty sure that morning sex with this man
would be epic…

"Oh, shit. I was just kidding," I yelled suddenly when my stomach tightened and
a wave of intense pain hit my abdomen. "Please, I was joking. You seriously have
to get off of me before I get sick."

Edward looked worried and shifted up to let me crawl out from under his legs. I
unraveled myself as much as possible and sprinted awkwardly to the bathroom,

yanking the sheet after me before slamming the door behind me. Frantic, I
pressed my thighs together and took a deep breath while I flipped on the light
and fan and checked for Febreze or something.

Because last night's vodka had given me this morning's liquor shits.

How embarrassing could this get? My first time in this man's apartment and I was
about to leave half of my intestines in his bowl. If I could have flushed myself, I
would have. Then I could have ended up doing the Go Ninja dance with Splinter
and Leonardo in the sewers instead of worrying about the toxic waste my body
was about to kill Wang with.

I turned on the water in the sink to try and erase some of the noise and prayed
to God that he'd let me be quiet.

Clearly God did not think that asking for favors after pre-marital sex warranted
an answer.

I should have shoved a towel under the door. I should have lit a match, but I had
none. Maybe I could light the sheet on fire? It wasn't that great of a sheet
anyway…Oh! Myself. I could light myself on fire. That would cover up what was
happening in here.

Trying my best to clench my cheeks, I lost out on the fight and the sounds
ripping from my body made me die a little inside.

Well, it was nice while it lasted. At least I got properly sexed up for once in my
life…

Feeling sweaty and sick, but actually a little better once the stomach cramps had
passed, I continued with my 'courtesy flushing'…it was probably my third or
fourth, who knows…and I scoured his cabinets for anything that I could use to
help cover up the stench.

Mouth wash…I could pour it on the floor. That would work.

Rummaging more, I came across some body spray, but it was his and that would
be a little creepy to walk back into the room like, 'Hey, big boy. I wanted to smell
like you. Let's go again'.

"Gross," I muttered and moved some more things around.

"Bella?" Edward knocked on the door and I looked over my shoulder, terrified
that he would open it on me.

"Yeah?"

He cleared his throat. "Are…are you okay?"

"Fine!" I called, trying to sound chipper. "Just…uh…thinking about taking a
shower…"

"Oh. Do you want me to join you?"

"NO!" I clapped my hand over my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut tightly. "So
stupid," I whispered. "I was just going to jump in really fast. Not enough time to
really…umm…do anything before I have to leave." My voice trailed off as I yelled
the last sentence.

He must think I don't want to have sex with him again. Dammit. That was not the
case. I just didn't want him in my Bog of Eternal Stench.

"Okay." He sounded hurt. "Well, the muffins are done whenever you are."

I listened as he stepped away from the door and I hung my head at my idiocy. It
would just be terrible to open the door to see him standing there and him be hit
with a wall of Bella Musk…black out and fall to his death out of the window…

"The window…" I hissed and looked above the toilet. If I opened that and let it air
out while I showered, it would help. I mean, nothing is worse than taking a dump
and adding warm, damp air to the room. After a moment of struggle, I got the
window cracked and shed myself of the sheet.

And that's when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

"Oh, holy Moses…" My eyes looked back at me accusingly. My hair was one huge
dreadlock on my head. My eyes were completely streaked with eyeliner and
flakes of mascara. There were little red marks across my chest from Edward's
mouth. And half of the Vagazzling had fallen off, mocking me with a check mark.

As if my Muff were saying, "Good job!"

And he wanted to have sex with me again?

I shook my head and grabbed the mouthwash, pouring some in my mouth and
whimpering from the sting. Applying some toothpaste to my finger, I spit out the
liquid and scrubbed at my fuzzy teeth with my digit, hoping against hope that I
wasn't going to smell like I ate trash last night once I got out of the shower.

Once in the actual tub, I felt relaxed. The window was taking care of business and
I was getting clean. I took a moment to look around the basin and realized it was
impeccably clean. No rings. No spots. No caked up bits of soap in the dish holder.

A little OCD, are we, Wang?

Everything was manly in there. From his shampoo to his soap, I was going to
smell like a straight up dude today…A smile crept across my face. I was going to
smell like Edward, today. And then I was going to sit next to Tyler and he was
going to get a big old whiff of Edward on me.

Essentially, I was just helping him to mark his territory.

The thought thrilled me. Last night had been better than I ever anticipated,
really. He actually, truly liked me and had told me so as I drifted off to sleep.
He'd held me through the night, too. I knew because I'd woken up multiple times
forgetting where I was before I would feel his arms around me and hear his deep
breathing. And I was comfortable. Safe.

Rose may have had to push me in the direction of sleeping with him, but that was
just because I was afraid of making the move by myself. Edward could very well
be exactly what I needed in my life right now.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," I chastised as I finished rinsing and turned the
water off. I ran my hand over the shower wall and kicked the remaining water in
the tub, along with the crystals I had scrubbed off, towards the drain, suddenly
afraid that I wouldn't leave his shower as perfect as it had been before I got into
it.

The cracked window had helped immensely and I set about wrapping my hair in a
towel and grabbing another one for my body. Which was when I realized that the
only clothes I had from last night were probably not fit to wear to work. The
panties were definitely ruined. The bra would do…the shirt would need to be
inspected for any bodily fluids, though.

Edward was not in his room when I opened the door smelling like an Irish
waterfall. I felt like I'd done nothing but snoop around this morning, but I really
needed to put some undies on, given the recent beating my Coon had just had,
along with the waxing and Vagazzling. Direct contact with denim would have
been a straight up 'no-no'.

So I set out to find some of his boxers or something to wear. Instead, I got a
neatly folded drawer full of boxer briefs. I'm pretty sure I moaned. He had one
full drawer of those and another of boxers. Throwing my towel off, I stepped into
a pair of the snug fitting underwear, checking my reflection out in the mirror.

Damn if it wasn't sexy. They sat right above my waist so I folded the top over
and turned to check out how great my ass looked in them, noting the pucker of
the pouch in the front and wondering how awesome it would be to have a
detachable vag that I could pull through the hole to pee instead of squatting on
nasty public toilets…

A sharp gasp from the door startled me and I turned quickly to see Edward
standing with the door propped open with his foot and two plates of food in his
hands. My head whipped around so fast that the towel-turban on my head
flopped to the side and slid down the side of my face, letting my hair unravel over
half of my face.

My hands immediately went to my breasts and I yelped when I realized that
James was standing right behind him with two glasses of juice. His eyes shifted
up towards the ceiling and he turned his face, puckering his lips and letting out
an awkward whistle.

"I, uh…n-n-needed new undies. You know…because mine are ruined from last
night and I showered so putting old underwear back on wasn't a good idea so I
figured I could just borrow some of yours today." My mouth would not shut up. "I
promise I don't, like, wear guy's clothes or anything kinky. And I totally wasn't
snooping in your drawers. I…umm…Uh…" My mouth finally ran out of idiotic words
and I held my breath waiting for him to speak.

"James?" Edward asked, clear as a bell.

"Yeah, Ed?" James was still looking away but I saw his eyes flick over to me
quickly.

"I'll get the juice later." Edward let the door begin to close as he continued to
stare at me. "I think we're about to ruin a pair of my underwear."

My eyes widened and I felt my jaw go slack.

"Uh…okay," James' voice faded as the door closed in his face.

Edward looked hungry. But not for egg muffins.

More like: In Muff. Oh. See what I did there?

He set the plates on his dresser and turned back to face me, his eyes raking over
my body and darkening as he stared. "Come here," he said with a smirk. I took a

step forward and he held out a hand for me to take. Pulling me towards him, he
hummed happily. "You look sexy in these. I might have to buy a pack specifically
for you."

My chest brushed against his abs and I whimpered. His hand slid into my wet
locks of hair and he tilted my face to look up at his. Even without make-up or
styled hair, he looked at me like I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. It made
my heart flutter madly in my chest.

His unoccupied hand slipped slowly down my spine and dipped into the waistband
of his skivvies, rounding over my ass and slipping in between my cheeks. His
mouth descended on mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck, stretching up
onto my toes as his fingers flexed against my sensitive flesh.

"Are you feeling up for this?" he asked, concern apparent in his voice.

My eyes opened lazily as his middle finger traced the outskirts of my lips. "Yeah."
My palm slid down his side and around the front of his pajama pants, running up
his length. "Looks like you are too?"

He just nodded with a wicked glint in his eye. His weight shifted and he removed
his hand from the underwear, taking his thumbs and hooking them into the tops
and pulling them down over my thighs to step out of. I did the same for him and
stood back when I'd gotten them low enough for him to remove. My heart raced
as I gazed down at his member and I went glassy eyed.

"You look pretty impressed now, Miss Swan," he chuckled and took a step
forward. I took one backwards and fell against his mattress, leaning back on my
elbows and spreading my thighs.

"I just couldn't have you walking around with a big head, all day, Edward." I
sighed when he leaned in to kiss me again. "But if you must know, you're the
most impressive I've ever seen."

"Ever?" he murmured against my lips and traced a thumb over my nipple.

I squeaked. "Yes. Ever."

"Hmmm, that's good." His mouth left mine in search of where his hand was busy
pulling and pinching. His warm mouth encased the peak and my head fell back,
shifting my legs open even more. And then his other hand was there and rubbing,
fingers flicking and pinching until I was panting his name and holding onto his
hair so tightly he would look like he'd been wearing pigtails overnight.

"Edward," I sighed and gave a shiver when his mouth released me with a soft
pop. His hands found mine in his hair and he lowered them between us, settling
my palms around his shaft. I gasped, wrapping my fingers around his solid base
and squeezing gently.

"I really like your hands," he panted into my mouth and kissed me sweetly.

I laughed. "Do you like them more?"

His eyes looked into mine and he smirked. "Of course not. I just want to know
what every part of you feels like on me."

Oh, his way with words…

I paced myself, working him until I was squirming from the friction I was causing
with my hands. His mouth travelled everywhere it could while I was holding him

in the position I had him in. And finally…finally…I leaned back and pulled him
towards me, lining him up with my entrance and taking a deep breath before I
pressed the tip into me.

His face softened and he held himself above me as he slid in slowly, sinking
farther and farther in as I lifted my hips to accept him. His hands gripped the
comforter next to my head and he exhaled long and slow, the veins in his neck
beginning to bulge as I dug my fingers into his biceps.

This position was much different than the night before, and I tensed my calves as
they pushed my feet into the mattress and I felt my body resist him as much as it
could before it had no choice but to let him in. I heard my own choking moan as
my pelvis dipped beneath his weight…and I could have sworn that my hip bones
shifted wider.

I was sore from the night before, but it didn't matter. Not right now. Because the
look on his face was making my heart swell and feel tight in my chest. As tight as
my… Never mind.

Focusing on the feel of him, I closed my eyes and relaxed, letting him slide fully
in and once I found my breath again, I shifted my hips back slightly and bit my
lip to stop from screaming. Because it was the best feeling in the entire world. He
rested his knees against the bed to secure himself and dropped his face to mine,
kissing me passionately as we moved together, effortlessly.

It wasn't slow or too fast. Not too rough or gentle. I'd never known the way it felt
to be so sexually in synch with a man, and suddenly I was a little pissed at myself
for denying it for the weeks that I had.

I could have been feeling this before now? Shame. On. Me.

Opening my eyes to look up into his face, I smiled against his lips because he had
his lids closed and the expression of complete ecstasy as his forehead creased
and his mouth dropped open slightly made me feel like I was a damn Sex
Goddess. I kissed his mouth, small little kisses along his plump lower lip; ragged
breath as my teeth sought it out and nibbled lightly.

His hands fisted even tighter into the comforter and he pulled the fabric tight,
using it to raise my head to his face even more, and we were intertwined; legs
wrapped around his hips, arms clutching the hair at the nape of his neck as our
chests sliding against one another and his shallow thrusting turning into rhythmic
grinding against my clit.

It built deep in my abdomen with each pass of his pelvic bone over and over, the
deep filling feeling resting far inside of my stomach along with the constant
stimulation on my nipples and against my mouth were too much and I was crying
his name out into his shoulder when the numbness in my legs spread like wildfire
up my calves and met the pressure sweeping down from my belly button. The
force of them meeting at the exact spot that Edward and I were connected
caused my entire body spasm and I tightened my calves as I went rigid and
screamed his name.

His mouth found mine and he sucked my lower lip in between his, biting sharply
as he pumped deeply a few times and then groaned sweet words through his
release. He laughed a little when he released my lip and opened his eyes,
pressing his forehead to mine.

"I almost didn't make it," he said breathlessly. "I had to think of…really
unappealing things. Like Michael Moore in a bathing suit…"

My legs relaxed and slid down his thighs as I chuckled and then pulled his face to
mine for a kiss. Letting him rest his head against my chest, I trailed my fingers
through his hair, reveling in the silky strands and watching them stand straight
up as I twisted them in between my fingertips.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't…ever…think of Michael Moore while we're having sex again."

His lips pressed softly to the swell of my breast and he looked up at me, his eyes
sparkling and filled with mischief. "So, you're saying we get to do this again?"

I rolled my eyes and bit back a disappointed moan when he slid out from in
between my legs. "Hell yeah, we're doing this again." I smiled coyly. "Maybe next
time you can stay at my place? I have…much nicer sheets."

The look on his face made me blush. You would have thought I'd just told him
that R2D2 was real, he was so damn excited.

And, astonishingly enough, I was too.

8==========================================D ~~~~~
{()}

Rose gave me a knowing look in the break room as I prepared myself a cup of
coffee.

"Ride another horse last night?" she snickered.

I scowled and gave her a disapproving look. "Miss Hale, I have no idea what
you're referring to."

She snorted. "Really? Because you kind of have a limp." She sipped her coffee
and grinned.

Stirring my creamer in, I couldn't help but laugh. I was pretty proud of myself,
actually. Not only had I successfully snooped through Edward's belongings
enough to verify that there were no female items anywhere in his apartment that
didn't belong to Victoria, but I'd also managed not to crap the bed when we'd had
sex that morning.

That's, what? An extra one thousand pinball machine points in Geek Land?

"You'd be limping if your 'gina swallowed a lighthouse." I lifted a brow. "Twice."

"No shit!" She squealed and then regained her composure, leaning back to see if
anyone had overheard her outburst. When she was satisfied that the coast was
clear, she grinned. "Tell me all about it…"

Sighing contentedly, I leaned against the counter top. "Honestly? Best I've ever
had. And, while I haven't been with that many men…it's still something." I slid
my eyes over to her eager expression. "It seriously is as…" I motioned with my
hands, "big as I said. But he's so damn sweet and he really, really likes me."

"And you?"

"I'm pretty sure I feel the same."

"But…"

I shrugged. "But, nothing ever really works out like we expect, right?"

She giggled and looked over her shoulder. "Seems like he's not really worrying
about anything right now…"

My gaze traveled to where she was looking and I saw Edward talking to Emmett,
his hands shoved into his pockets while he leaned against the wall and watched
Emmett flail his arms animatedly. He really did look content and happy, and like
nothing in the world was bothering him. I stared for a moment and watched with
surprise when Edward suddenly turned and locked eyes with me, a cocky…
sinfully hot…and satisfied…smirk spreading across his face.

I was definitely going to owe him another pair of skivvies.

What? I needed underwear and he said I could have them.

"I'm wearing his knickers right now, you know," I whispered as I lifted my coffee
cup to my lips, not looking at Rose.

She choked on her coffee and it spurted out of her nose as she dropped her
Styrofoam cup and threw her hands to her face to catch the creamy liquid
spewing forth. I stared at her, horrified before Emmett ran at warp speed to wrap
his grizzly bear arms around her chest and jerk her up off of the floor.

"She doesn't need the Heimlich!" I yelled and hit his arm with my other hand.

Her face lifted and she glared at me as she choked in a harsh breath. "I see that
getting laid has not helped your word vomit situation," she coughed.

Edward's feet slid to a halt next to me and he gave me a look that I couldn't quite
place. After looking at me for a moment, he turned his attention to Rose and
Emmett. "What's she talking about?"

Emmett rolled his eyes and settled Rose back down on her feet. She went about
cleaning herself up and I gave Emmett a death glare that, apparently, he did not
see.

"Rose told Bella to get laid, because all she can think about is the pipe in your
pants."

Edward's stance went rigid for a moment and then he turned slowly to look at
me. "Is that true?"

"I told you," I whispered. "Rose told me to take the day off and figure out what I
wanted."

"What you wanted," he repeated softly, his eyes dropping to the floor. "And what
exactly did you decide that it was that you wanted, Bella?"

I was scared. He looked upset and it shouldn't have been that way at all. My
mouth opened and I blinked rapidly, placing my coffee on the table and taking his
hands in mine. "I decided that I wanted you, Edward."

Emmett's head tilted to the side as he stared. "Huh?"

With an exhausted breath, I gazed up at Edward's beautiful face. "Rose is boning
Emmett. Alice is riding Jasper's carousel. It's not a problem for them to know,
okay?" My voice was pleading as I looked into his eyes. "I just needed a push in

the right direction or I would have talked myself out of it. I'm really, really good
at that…"

A slight smile crept up on his lips and they puckered a little. "I bet you're good at
a lot of things we didn't do last night."

Emmett's mouth dropped open.

"Dammit, Edward!" Rose hissed. "The entire reason why she needed to get laid
was because all she thought about was your cock while delivering the news. Don't
make it worse."

I stared at him for being so brah and shook my head at what a strange mix of
cocky and brainy nerd boy who likes documentaries and probably waits every
year with baited breath for Shark Week he was. Edward was unlike any other guy
I'd ever met, or had the good fortune of bedding before. And as long as he was
interested in keeping this thing going, then so was I. Because I couldn't wait to
learn more about him and to uncover what other little hidden gems Edward
Masen held in his meticulously clean cabinets.

"No worries, Rose," I assured her, breaking away from the fixed gaze of Edward's
sex eyes. "I guarantee this will be the best broadcast I've ever given."

With a confident wink, I made my way to see Alice and have my make-up done.

8==========================================D

Smiling at the camera, I announced Jasper to give the weather report. Something
had been a little off about him since he'd walked in this morning. Jasper was
usually quiet, but today he'd been even more quiet than usual, and he'd been
staring back and forth between Edward and me all day, like he had fire in his
pants. His eyes were kind of creepy-wide and he looked straight up tense.

Jasper smiled into Edward's camera and lifted his hand with his remote to point
to the accumulation of rainfall. "It looks like we should expect a good nine inches
of rain in Seattle tonight, folks." His eyes flicked over to me and his lip twitched
before he looked back into Edward's camera. "Nine inches. That's almost as big
as me." He smirked for a second and then his eye went wide again before he
laughed maniacally and rushed through the rest of his report and then stared
glassy eyed into the lens before the teleprompter popped up to alert me to my
sign off.

Emmett stared dumbfounded in my periphery and Tyler made a choking sound.
The light alerted me to begin speaking and I gave a tight smile. "Thanks for
joining us tonight. I'm Bella Swan. Good night, Seattle; rest easy."

Rose let her clipboard fall to the floor and marched directly over to where Jasper
was blinking and shaking his head furiously. "Are you for real, right now?"

Jasper looked up in shock. "I don't…I don't know what happened."

"You talked about your dick on air. That's what." Rose was incensed.

"They…" Jasper pointed to me and Edward, moving his hand back and forth.
"Those two are like walking sex…it's just rolling off of them. Does no one else feel
that shit? It's lusty up in here. Thick like cotton freaking candy!" He shook his
head again. "I'm sorry. I have to find Alice." And with that final statement, he
scurried from the set and ran down the hall.

To get laid?

Tyler clucked his tongue and straightened his papers. "Bella…The cameraman? Is
that why you smell like a college fraternity shower stall?"

My mouth pursed into a thin line and I snorted. "Yeah. It is. Because after he
screwed my brains out…properly…I slept at his place. And, while it's none of your
business, you should know that I don't foresee this ending any time soon. So
either be a good…little…boy and deal with it. Or find another job." I slammed my
papers down and stood up hastily from behind the desk. "And for the record, I
didn't make one mistake tonight, or drop any innuendo at all. So suck on that,
Tyler."

I made my way directly to Edward and pulled on his shirt until he dipped his face
low enough for me to kiss him passionately. He returned the kiss; wrapping his
arms around my waist and picking me up a little off of the floor before slowly
letting me back down. My chest rubbed against his and I sighed contentedly.

"Sex was the key all along? Why didn't I think of that?" he chided me with a
smile.

I shrugged a little. "You probably did."

He glanced once at Tyler. "Yeah. You caught me. I've been thinking about getting
you in my bed since the first day I saw you." That smirk was back, and I loved it.
Especially because he'd earned every damn right to be that way. His phone
vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, answering it quietly. "Hey, James.
Yeah…it's in my room. I think it's on the bookshelf. Okay. I'll work over the
footage later…yep. Tell Laurent I'll see him Saturday."

I smiled as he slid the phone into his pocket. "Dinner?"

His smile melted my brains right then and there. "Your place this time. You
promised." Linking our fingers together, we walked by Rose and Emmett, who
was still staring with his mouth hanging open.

I never thought I'd see Emmett speechless, but apparently Wang had super
powers in his pants. And I was all about super heroes right now.

9: What, What?

EPOV

"Can you toss salad?"

My head whipped around so fast I almost dropped the bottle of wine I had in my
hands. "What? What?"

She snorted indelicately. "What what, in the butt?"

My eyes popped even wider.

Bella blinked a couple of times and stopped slicing carrots. "Why are you looking
at me like that? Grab some nuts and throw then in there before you toss the
salad."

Clearing my throat, I placed the wine back on the counter top next to the sink.
"You have no idea what you just said, do you?" She shook her head and gave me
a dirty look.

Probably best to keep it to myself, then.

She passed me the bowl of leafy greens and pointed to a row of jars next to the
microwave. "I like nuts. I have lots of different kinds, so choose one. Or two. I
don't care if you mix 'em up."

My tongue pressed to the roof of my mouth to stop from yelling something
inappropriate. Grabbing the sunflower seeds, I twisted the lid open and shook out
a palm full before throwing them into the salad. A little vinaigrette, a couple of
shuffles of the spinach leaves with tongs and suddenly I was a friggin' Master
Chef contestant.

Bella tapped me on the shoulder and I turned to see her handing me a glass of
red wine. I took it and she clinked her glass against mine, giving me an electric
smile that wasn't one that I saw every day on camera. It was genuine. And it
made me smile in return.

She took a sip and looked over at the timer on the oven. "A few more minutes
and the lasagna should be done."

"What should we do until then?" I asked, looking at her over the brim of my glass
as I took a small sip.

Her head tilted a little to the side and she shifted from foot to foot, looking me
over. Cradling the wine glass into her chest she licked her lower lip. "Maybe we
should…get to know each other a little better?"

I watched her settle her glass and push herself up so she was sitting on the
counter top, settling one leg under her while the other swung freely, bouncing a
little against the cabinets. She had her hair back in a ponytail and she was
wearing some comfortable looking shorts that were a little worse for the wear.
Paired with the tank top that was sliding off of her shoulder as she leaned to pick
up her wine glass, she looked the most relaxed I'd ever seen her.

Leaning back to settle against the countertop, I let my feet cross, wiggling my
toes a little. She smiled lightly as she watched me do it and I had to admit that I
really enjoyed how she made me feel when she did that. She always seemed to
be looking at the smaller details that most women didn't pay much attention to.

"Damn, your fingers are long."

Like that, for instance.

I looked down at my digits and flexed my palm open. "I guess."

She picked up a slice of carrot and placed it on her tongue. "Do you play piano
with those?"

"I did, actually."

"Nice." She took another sip from her glass. "A movie making, piano playing
hottie. Something tells me you really knew how to work buttons in High School."
Her lips curled into a smile as she chewed.

"I was more interested in making fan videos in my backyard than chasing girls," I
admitted, feeling more than a little dumb with this line of questioning.

"Wait," she chuckled. "Fan videos? Please explain this." Bella leaned back a little
and grinned, amused.

I drained the remaining wine in my glass and set it down to fold my arms
protectively across my chest. "It's not uncommon, you know. Lots of women
write Fan Fiction. Guys like to reenact scenes from their favorite movies. And
video tape them."

"You'll have to school me on Fan Fiction later, because I have no idea what that
is." She drank more. "But, what movies did you 'reenact'?"

"It doesn't really matter." I poured another glass of wine.

Bella looked thoughtful. "I bet they involved light sabers, huh?"

"Shut up," I chuckled and turned back to see her eyeing me wickedly.

"I made a video one time. Okay, I've obviously made more than one... given the
fact that I wanted to be in broadcasting. But my best friend in High School,
Jennifer, had me at her house one day during the summer. Her little sister had
this Barbie horse." She laughed and waved her hand in front of her face at the
memory. "It could walk. Battery powered…whatever. So we wanted to make a
horror movie, and we used the horse."

She was cute as she told the story, looking wistful and blushing like crazy. "Do
you still have it?"

"Yeah. But it's on VHS, and…damn my luck," she snapped her fingers
sarcastically. "I don't own a VCR anymore."

Taking a step towards her, I watched her pop another carrot in her mouth. "So,
this movie…"

She laughed loudly. "Movie geek. You wanna know how we set up the cameras?
And what shots we used?" Her left eyebrow lifted seductively. "Does it make all
hot to think about what kind of video camera we used?"

"Maybe," I joked back.

"You would be proud. There was even a soundtrack: The Cranberries. I was damn
proud of it." She smiled again and chewed thoughtfully. "We ended up shoving
that horse in the microwave."

"No shit? Did you burn the house down?"

She snorted again. It was quickly becoming one of my favorite reactions from
her. "We were fourteen. Old enough to know that metal plus microwaves equals
fire." She rolled her eyes in false exasperation.

I was in front of her now, my hands resting on her knees. Leaning into her to
place a kiss on her forehead, I smiled. "I'm going to make it my mission to find
that tape and have it transferred."

She slapped my arm and laughed. "No." Angling back from me, she looked at my
lips. There was an intense moment of silence where we just gazed at the other,
not moving, just holding ourselves an inch away. The timer buzzed and she
jumped, startled, before pushing me back a little. I let her move off of the
countertop and watched as she bent over to open the oven and pull the pan of
lasagna out to place onto the stove. She peeled back the foil and did a silly little
two-step.

"This is mine," she said, pointing to the edge of the pan. "That square. Mine."

I looked at the pan. "Any reason why?"

She nodded and licked her lips. "See how crunchy the edges are? It's overcooked
and way too cheesy." Her smiled got bigger. "It's my favorite."

Nodding in understanding, I bent and kissed her shoulder. "Anything else I should
know about your eating habits?"

She licked some sauce from her thumb and pulled a spatula from the drawer next
to her. "I eat Oreos with Coke Zero. Or water." She handed me a full plate of
lasagna and did a small curtsy. "Bon appétit…"

8==========================================D

Technically, it would have been considered our first date. I had absolutely no
issue with the fact that it was spent making dinner together and talking, making
out on her couch and watching late night television. She just made herself
comfortable under my arm as we watched Leno, and she rested her fingers
against my thigh, making small circle motions over my skin. Eventually, her head
slipped down and she settled into my lap, turning over to look up at me as we
talked and laughed, enjoying the comfortable company.

Ultimately, she began to yawn and her eyes were glassier than they had been
before dinner.

"Should I head out?" I asked, hoping she would say no.

She sat up and stretched, shaking her head. "Hell no, Wang. I told you I was
going to let you sleep on real Egyptian cotton." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "And I
always make good on my promises."

"Good to know," I murmured, feeling a stirring in my pants.

I followed her into her room and looked around at the disarray that she clearly
didn't care about at all. It wasn't over the top, but it was obvious that she was
celebrating living by herself. Which reminded me…

"When was the last time you flipped your mattress?" I asked, eyeing her bed
suspiciously.

"Uh…never?" She said, giving me a questioning look.

I nodded once and headed over to the bed, pulling all of the bedding off and
flipping the mattress. She watched in awe as I set about putting the sheets back
on.

"What?"

Bella leaned against her dresser. "What was all that about?"

I shrugged. "I'd prefer not to sleep in the same place as that asshat…"

Understanding dawned on her face and she pressed her lips together. "Umm,
should I be worried about what I slept in last night?"

Looking her directly in the eyes, I shook my head. "No."

"So, you're not a man hooker?"

"No." I was slightly offended. "Why the hell would you think that?"

She took a few steps forward and rested her hands against the waist of my jeans.
"Have you seen yourself?"

Yep. There was more than a twitch in my pants now. "Flattery, Muff?"

Bella popped the button on my jeans and batted her lashes. "Maybe. Do you like
it?"

"I like you," I whispered, grasping her shoulders in my hands and pulling her to
me so that I could kiss her.

Her hands skimmed into my underwear and she let out a discouraged sigh.
Pulling away she frowned. "I'm sorry…I'm really sore."

"No…no that's okay," I assured her, feeling uncomfortable as I tried to will my
boner away.

She shook her head sadly and let her fingers run gently across my hard-on. "I
mean, I could always help you out another way?"

I love you, Bella Swan.

"Okay," I almost yelled excitedly.

Quickly, she flipped off all of the lights and pulled my hand to get me to the bed.
She crawled up onto the covers and settled onto her knees, pulling me towards
her face to finish dropping the zipper and moving my cock out of his home while I
shimmied my jeans off and onto the floor.

Her fingernails trailed lightly over my abdomen and I sighed loudly, encouraging
her as she trailed over and across my skin under my shirt. "Take this off, "she
whispered.

What is it about being in the dark that makes people want to be quiet?

I obliged, reaching behind me and tugging until I had it thrown aside and then it
was me…naked…in front of her while she was kneeling on the bed and staring at
it in the darkness.

"All right," she said quietly. "I've seen porn, so…I know this won't be the same as
if I had some sort of jaw that could unhinge. And I most definitely have a gagging
reflex." Her face lifted to look at me pleadingly. Even in the darkness, I could see
her face because of the moonlight through the window. And she was just as
beautiful when she was over thinking in the dark as when she did it in daylight.

"You don't have to," I lied. Because, really…that would suck. And not literally.

"I want to," she said curling her fingers around my shaft. I lost my air in a
whoosh from my mouth and she chuckled, opening her mouth and flicking her
tongue across the head.

Hell. She might not even have to put it into her mouth…

She paused and raised one of her palms, laving it with her tongue. I could see
the wetness shining in the moonlight and I couldn't do anything but stare. She
chanced a glance at me and blinked. "I've watched a lot of porn."

Her hand slid down to my base and I swayed a little on my feet, grabbing her
shoulders for support as she stroked up and down a few times, pressing soft lips
to the head and running her tongue in a circle across it before opening her mouth
and licking her lips to add moisture before it hovered and dropped onto me.

It was already too much, and I tensed, my hands flying up to grip her ponytail
and the top of her head. She was definitely having difficulty and I was
concentrating on not moving so that I didn't accidentally choke her. Bella shifted
back and ran her teeth along the sensitive curve under the ridge and my knees
shook.

One hand was squeezing me in the middle and the wet one was pumping up and
down, stopping to traipse across my balls and let a finger drift in between to
press onto my perineum. My body was shaking from restraint and I was
unsuccessful in any attempts I had at trying not to moan and grunt loudly.

The pressure was already building and she moved her mouth down again, while
she moaned and sucked as hard as she could, pulsing her tongue against the
underside and my fingers inadvertently tightened around her ponytail and a rush
of profanities came out of my mouth as I felt myself harden further and her
mouth pulled upwards.

"Gonna…c-c-c-c," I grunted incoherently as my eyes rolled into the back of my
head.

Suddenly the pressure was gone and I looked down in a panic to see her staring
up at me. As soon as we made eye contact she wrapped her hands around me
tightly and opened her mouth to take me in once more, sucking harshly and I lost
it, coming fast and hard, her ponytail wrapped around my fingers as my hips
shifted into her mouth violently.

She made a high pitched moaning sound and relaxed her mouth a little more as I
emptied into her, telling her that she was amazing and beautiful…all true,
regardless of whether or not she was holding a mouthful of my come right now.

Her hands relaxed a little as my twitching ceased and her lips let up and slid
across the sensitive spots before she placed one kiss on my slit.

"Was that okay?" she asked. It sounded a little weird, though.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Was that okay?" she repeated, pressing her fingers to her lips.

"Yeah, better than okay, Bella." She smiled strangely. "What's wrong?" I asked,
suddenly worried.

"My lips are numb," she admitted and pouted.

And I had to laugh, because it wouldn't be me and Bella if it hadn't ended up like
this. For all intents and purposes, we'd only been Edward and Bella for a full day
now…but truthfully it had been us from day one. Numb lips and all, this is how I
wanted it.

I released her hair and leaned over her, watching as she leaned back and settled
onto the mattress, staring up at me. And I kissed her lips to make them better,
wondering if another type of friction would bring them back to life. She reacted
by opening her lips for me and allowing my tongue to sweep in and across hers,
swirling languidly there, and settling myself onto her tiny frame.

Reaching between us, I slipped my palm against the damp cloth residing over the
juncture of her thighs.

"Edward, I told you I was sore…you don't have to…"

"I'm not going to put anything inside of you," I assured her. Lifting her tank top
above her breasts, I adjusted myself to rest against her side and worked my
fingers gently over her sex. She moaned and inhaled a sharp breath. "Is this
comfortable?" I asked as my lips found her pert nipple.

"Yes," she whimpered.

"Mmm," I hummed and took the peak in my mouth while rubbing flat circles
outside of her shorts, feeling her swollen flesh move with my hand beneath the
fabric. Pressing my fingers in more forcefully, I sucked roughly and felt her body
tense as she gripped my hair with one hand and the comforter with the other.

Five more minutes of that and she was bowing off of the mattress, her pelvis
tilted towards the ceiling as she panted and choked my name out in sputtering
breaths. Her hips bucked and her legs tensed and she quivered; every muscle
contracting as she came. Finally satiated, she rested against the bed again and
released her hold on my hair.

I settled my chin on her chest as watched smugly as she caught her breath and
her limbs went languid. "I've watched some porn, too," I chuckled.

She laughed and slithered down a foot to kiss me sweetly. "Want to go to sleep
now?"

I yawned and kissed her once more. "Yes, by all means. Show me what I've been
missing with my Wal-Mart sheets."

Bella rolled over and pulled her shorts off, throwing them to the floor along with
her tank. She pulled the comforter back and patted the pillows. "Prepare to never
want to get out of bed again, Mr. Masen."

I crawled under the top sheet and sighed contentedly. It was like sleeping in a
cloud wrapped in butterfly wings. "Oh, damn," I mumbled and pressed my face
into the pillowcase.

"See?" she chuckled.

"Yeah, you were right. I don't ever want to get out of this bed again." I placed my
hand on her hip and let my thumb trail lightly over the satiny skin.

"You don't have to ever get out of this bed." She yawned again. "I'll keep you
here as my mattress slave."

"I'd like that," I laughed.

"I like you," she whispered.

My heart thumped audibly in my ears and I pulled her body towards mine, noting
how well she fit against my chest and holding her close. I kissed her head again
and settled my cheek against her head.

"I like you, too," I whispered into the darkness, smiling to myself when she
relaxed against me and snaked her arm across my ribs, holding me just as tightly
as I was holding her.

Chapter 10: Fig Newton's Law

EPOV

There was no way.

I held her shower curtain back with my hand and gawked. There were no more
than three rings in the tub. And soap was gunked up in the little corner. Shampoo
globs on the side. But the real deal breaker was the wad of hair bunched up and
stuck to the wall.

I'm all for not clogging a drain, but…

"I…actually need to run back to my apartment before work. I forgot some stuff
that I need for a thing and should probably go get that," I called to her, listening
as my voice echoed through the bathroom and into where she was eating a bagel
in her bed.

Crumbs in the sheets. Shit.

She didn't respond so I walked over to the doorway to see her chewing her
breakfast and rolling her eyes at the television. Pointing her finger she shoved the
wad of food to her cheek and mumbled around her mouthful. "Why do they
pretend it's anything but what it is? ExtenZ? Cialis? Call it Dick Lift so everyone
knows what's up." She giggled and choked a little. "Literally."

There was cream cheese on the corner of her mouth. I kind of wanted to lick it.

"I have to run back to my apartment before work," I repeated.

She swallowed and winced painfully. "That hurt," she rasped and reached for the
coffee next to her bed. "I can drive you over. We can ride to work together?"

I shook my head, trying to be cool. "No, you need time to get ready so I'll just
meet you there."

Bella gave me a strange look. "You don't want to be seen with me?"

My mouth must haven fallen open so wide she would have seen the scars from
my tonsillectomy. "The hell? Are you serious?" Her puppy dog eyes said she was.
"Your shower is disgusting."

She shrugged. "See? Honesty. That's what I like about you." Smiling, she licked
the side of her mouth and cleaned off the cream cheese. "You're welcome to
clean it anytime you want to."

I ran my hands through my hair and laughed. "I'm actually going to take you up
on that if you want me over here more often." The air sort of buzzed when I'd
completed my sentence and we stared at one another for a moment. "I
mean…that is…if you'd like me to be here more often."

Bella tilted her head a little and looked thoughtful. "It's easier to walk around
naked at my place. And while I'm sure your roommate liked the eyeful he got of
me in your jocks, I'd prefer to save the goods for you, if you get what I'm sayin'."
Her smile was sweet and electric. "I mean, pack an overnight or something. Keep
a toothbrush." And with a small wink she nodded towards the bathroom. "Feel
free to bring some Scrubbing Bubbles while you're at it."

My stupid goofy smile didn't die down when I kissed her goodbye. It stayed in
place as I ran three red lights. And it was certainly present when I rushed my
way into the door of my apartment.

"Ed?"

"I don't have time, James. I'm running late," I called to him as I scrambled to get
out of my clothes and start the shower at the same time. Jumping under the
spray I relaxed, thankful that my shower was so freaking clean. I'd just lathered
my hair with shampoo when I heard something outside of the curtain.

"Ed. I gotta show you something, dude."

"I told you I don't have time." Water hit my face as I rushed through my hair
washing routine.

I felt cold air hit my legs and I turned abruptly, cursing as shampoo slid into my
right eye. "Dude, J, I told you I didn't have time this morning."

He gave me a pleading look. "It's about the film."

"Which means it can wait." I wasn't weirded out by this in the least. Just my
roommate watching me shower. No big deal.

"I don't think it can."

"Unless Laurent told you to stop filming him or you've lost half of the
documentary, it can wait." I turned off the shower and motioned for him to back
up so I could grab a towel and rush out.

"Half of the documentary is gone."

He stood stone still as I whipped around to face him, losing my balance and
slipping on the puddle of water that had accumulated because he had been
holding the curtain open. Trying to stop my fall, I flailed and grabbed for the
towel rack, effectively ripping it from the wall and bringing it, as well as some
chunks of plaster, down as I hit the cold floor.

Holding the broken rod in my hand I stared at him in disbelief. "Tell me you're
joking."

His eyes bugged out in surprise. "Really? I would joke about this?"

I scrambled to my feet, throwing the rack on the ground and snatching my towel
off of the floor. "How?" I yelled, stomping into my room. "How did you lose that
much footage? What happened?" Panic was sliding down my body at a rapid pace
and I could feel my stomach churn.

"You can stop blaming me at any time," he responded eerily calmly.

"Well, I haven't touched anything. So who would have done it?"

James took a deep breath and grabbed the camera off of my bed, flipping the
viewing screen open and pressing the play button. And that's when Bella's face
appeared.

"Oh, God." I pulled the camera from his hand. "How long…"

"It went all night, I think."

"What do you mean, you 'think'?" I couldn't rip my eyes from the screen.

"Well, I didn't exactly watch all of it. I mean, once you started screwing, I turned
it off."

It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. "As soon as we WHAT?"

He smiled and chuckled. "You have your very own sex tape, Ed. And a pretty
good one at that. Nice moves. She's hot as hell. And damn if she didn't look like
she was going go into shock when you tried to stick it in…"

"OH MYGOD…" I held up my hand and tried to control the volume of my voice,
but it was useless. "You watched it. Oh. My. God."

He rolled his eyes. "Only until you got it in. That sparkly shit on her," he made a
clicking sound and pointed to his crotch, "was definitely a nice touch."

Closing my eyes, I held my breath for a moment. "You need to leave before I kick
your ass."

James sighed. "Fine. It's not like I made a copy." He was quiet for a second.
"Probably should have, though. After all of the YouTube videos of her up there
lately, I bet you could totally sell that and make a profit."

"Three," I warned.

"Paris Hilton…"

"Two."

"Kim Kardashian…"

I glared at him and his smile faded.

"Okay. Okay. I'm leaving. Damn. Just, figure out what the hell we're going to do
now that your girlfriend's taped over our only chance to get into Sundance." He
shook his head and slipped out the door, leaving me with a handful of evidence
and absolutely no clue how to break the bad news to Bella.

8=================================D ~~~~~ (.)(.)

BPOV

Rose seemed panicked when she flew by the make-up room. She was muttering
to Angela and scribbling furiously on her clipboard.

"Emergency meeting in five!" she yelled. "Five minutes, people. I am not
kidding!"

Alice stared out the door as they swept past and looked thoughtful. "Changes are
a comin'," she whispered and then shook her head before moving behind me to
take off the thin, paper bib she had around my neck while she was applying my
eye shadow. "Better go before you get in trouble."

I thanked her and scurried towards the conference room at full speed, skidding a
little as I almost ran past the open door. Catching my hand on the wall, I pivoted
and reeled back to get into the room and rammed my head into Emmett's torso.

"Unf," he yelled, pressing his hand to his chest with a pained look on his face.

"Sorry," I whined, rubbing the point of impact on my head and wincing.

A grin pulled the corner of his mouth upward. "Didn't you get enough ramming
this week, Muff?"

"Cut the bullshit and take your seats," Rose commanded, slamming her clipboard
down on the table. She pressed a perfectly manicured hand to the side of her
face and glared in our direction.

Emmett stared at her for a moment before straightening his shoulders. "She
means business…"

It seemed as if the entire station was crammed into the conference room, though
I knew that wasn't the case. There were just a ton of people shoved against one
another as Rose waited for Angela to usher the last stray wanderers in.

One of those just happened to be Edward. And he looked frazzled.

I caught his eye and he gave me a quick nod, his mouth turned into a cute frown
and his eyebrows pulled together to form a perfect v on his forehead.

Rose called the meeting to order and looked around the room at all of us before
starting. Her hands were clasped tightly behind her back, which made her chest
jut out and I heard Emmett muttering something under his breath so I stepped
on his foot to get him to shut up.

"Mother-whore!" He hissed and pulled his foot from beneath mine. I simply gave
Rose a placating smile as she looked in our direction.

"Tyler Crowley has handed in his resignation." Rose waited as the enormity of
that statement sunk in.

There was tittering in the crowd of people and I chanced a sly glance in Edward's
direction, suppressing a smile as I saw his eyebrows shoot straight up to meet his
hair line. I wasn't the least bit surprised or worried by this turn of events. It
would make dating Edward a thousand times easier without old baggage lying to
my left every night.

Rose cleared her throat to get everyone to shut up. "He did not give a notice. And
we don't have anyone in mind to replace him. Before you run off at the mouth
and start any rumors: Yes, he took a position at another station. No, I will not tell
you which one." Her eyes fell directly on me. "Apparently, he'd been shopping
himself out to other networks for a while now."

How the hell would I have known that? It's not like we had a lot of time together.
He was busy after work, as was I. And he'd been cheating on me. A little. Kinda.

I shrugged; my eyes wider than usual to convey my innocence. She nodded once
and addressed everyone else.

"We're working on getting a replacement, but that means that for the next week
or so until we can find someone to fill the seat next to Bella, everyone will have
to band together and pick up the slack. Do you all understand?"

Her dismissal was clipped and her hands were waving everyone out of the room.
Except me. I knew because she was glaring at me and her left eye was twitching.
As soon as the conference area was empty she calmly walked over and shut the
door, turning to face me as she leaned against the only portal of escape.

I swallowed loudly.

"Isabella Swan?"

My entire body shivered. "Y-yeah?"

"You'd better hope you can carry this broadcast until we can find someone."

"Of course I can." Why was my voice cracking like Justin Bieber?

"Well, I need you focused. If that means that you sex it up every night and walk
with a limp, then that's fine. But for the remainder of the week, you'll have a
different cameraman. Edward will be doing some storm tracking with Jasper."

"Why?"

"Because this is a busy week. And with the rise in murders downtown, we're sure
to be getting slammed with breaking reports left and right. Keep yourself
available at all times, unless you're getting pounded."

I pressed my hand to my face. "This is place is so messed up."

"Just be glad I'm not telling you to take a vow of celibacy."

Nodding, I gave her an awkward double thumbs' up. "I'm on it, boss. I'm on all of
it. The news. Edward's dick. You can count on me."

She nodded in agreement. "You'd better be."

I left the room and went straight back to the make-up chair, allowing Alice to
complete what she'd started.

"Bella?" Edward's voice called to me from the doorway and I waved for him to
come closer. My eyes were closed as Alice worked over the eye shadow.

"What's up?" I asked from beneath her arm pit.

"It can wait."

"No," I insisted. "I don't have very long to talk. Go ahead."

"Nope. I'll meet up with you later."

"There is no 'later'. You're being assigned to Jasper for a few days. I won't see
you at all for practically the rest of the week."

"Then I'll talk to you about it, then."

The entire thing was getting annoying. "Fine."

"Fine."

Alice sighed. "I'll give you three minutes." Moving away, she left the room and
closed the door behind her. I sat up in my seat to see Edward
looking…well…terrified.

"What is it?" I asked, attempting not to crease my forehead and cake up the
liquid base Alice had just applied.

He held up his hand with his video camera in it.

"You came in here for Show and Tell? I already saw that camera, remember?"

His lips pulled tight and his nostrils flared. "I'm well aware that you saw this
camera."

"Okay. So…"

"So, the camera apparently saw you too."

"Huh?" Now my forehead was going to have all kinds of crazy ripples in it.

He took a step forward. "Just, let me show you before you say anything, okay?"

I nodded, perplexed. He sidled up beside me and flipped the screen open to hold
it up to my face.

"Oh my hell!" I yelled, pressing my face closer to the screen to see. "You're a
pervert!"

"You did it!" He hissed loudly. "This is like, forty five minutes after you started
recording."

Blinking rapidly to try and make it go away, I cringed. "I didn't mean to.
Seriously."

"You taped over my documentary footage."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

I looked up at him and frowned. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

He just shrugged sadly. "Unfortunately for both of us, James was the one who
found it."

I groaned and pressed my hand to my forehead. "I think I'm going to throw up."

"He said your body is awesome, if it's any consolation."

"Gee. How did you know? At least our sex tape isn't terrible." The sarcasm
needed to be thicker.

He smiled a little. "It's actually…really…hot."

My mouth dropped open. "Shut up."

"No, really. This part is my favorite, I think." He moved the film forward with his
finger and stopped. "Your face right here?"

It was true. I was all kinds of naked and on display; pink lipped and pink nipped,
sex goddess hair and biting into my lip with my teeth. And…damn…if the sight of
me riding him wasn't making me wet my…technically his…knickers right then.

I looked up at him and licked my lips quickly. "Okay. It's sexy," I whispered.

He swallowed loudly and stared at my mouth.

"That's three minutes," Alice called softly, poking her head in the door.

We kept staring at each other. "Make a copy," I whispered and settled back into
the chair. "I'll figure out how to help you get more footage to make up for what
you lost."

Edward seemed to snap out of his trance fast enough to click the camera shut
before Alice could see what was happening on the film.

Though I didn't see him for the next three days except to pass by each other in
the hallways, or as he stood behind his camera as I carried the weight of the
broadcast by myself, we sent texts and emails or called each other between
reports. I was working extra hours and he was following Laurent on his off time
to try and get more film to work with since our fornication had ruined the original.

I barely noticed that I slept alone because I was so exhausted I would fall into a
dead sleep, barely moving at all throughout the night. But I had to prove myself
and with as much as I would have liked to have him come over at least once, it
wouldn't have been a good idea at all because we would have just been naked
the entire time.

I did my best to not screw up any of my reports. And the cameraman that they
had with me had no personality at all, so it was easy not to get distracted. He
didn't suggest that I ride a horse. The studio got me a wireless microphone so
that I didn't have any more accidents. It was work, work, work.

But now that I had Edward, it didn't bring me as much fulfillment as it had
before. In fact, I was much less satisfied without him. And much less…full.

The night brought dreams of his dick. Like it was Goliath and I was David, but
instead of trying to attack it with a slingshot, I was trying to propel myself on top
of it without getting killed.

There was also a FrankenCock dream that was weird because it talked and that
shit's just not kosher.

Mostly I dreamed about his eyes and his smile or licking the side of his face. For
days I would wake up to use my vibrator, and then have to use it before bed to
try and get the pent up need out of my system. No one had ever told me that
actually having a competent sexual partner would result in my neediness
escalating a thousand percent.

Friday I was excited because we were going to be able to hang out after work at
the bar. I would also get the chance to contribute to Emmett's getting wasted and
giving Rose the proper banging that she needed after this week. In fact, if he
wasn't raw and she didn't slip a disc in her back, I would have failed my mission.

I had been so busy I had barely been able to give the sex tape another thought.
My brain was running on empty and if I could just get through Friday, then a cold
glass of wine and satisfying sex was going to be my reward.

So I was all kinds of chipper and hard-nippled when I walked into the station that
morning. I even brought Alice a Starbucks because I was in such a freaking
awesome mood.

"Hiiii," I sang cheerily as I handed over her coffee. She eyed it skeptically and
then stared at me in silence. "What? Can't a girl be in a good mood?"

Alice rolled her eyes.

"I have an awesome boyfriend that will be spending the night tonight. My ex isn't
here to remind me of how less than stellar he is in every department of life in
general. I've kicked ass this week. What is there not to celebrate?" I gave her a
silly wink and hummed 'I Want Your Sex'.

This was probably the exact moment that the universe decided that my life was
one big joke. See, I always knew that once things in my life had gotten to a point
where everything was going perfectly, something…something…some THING would
come along and screw it up. I'd always imaged it would be a piano falling from a
window as I walked beneath it. Or, that I would fall out of a hot air balloon.
Perhaps I would be on the beach, drinking too much tequila…baking in the sun
and dehydrated and the sun would be too hot and I would spontaneously
combust.

All of these things seemed to be how the universe would kick my ass.

But I was wrong.

Alice was applying the last of my lipstick when I heard it. That smooth voice that
made my skin crawl and my nose turn up unpleasantly.

"I'm sure I'll love it here, Miss Hale."

My head whipped to the side so quickly I had very little time to process the fact
that Alice had just drawn a straight line from my mouth to my ear. And that's
when I saw him. Golden haired. Stupid, gag-inducing flawless face. Smooth
talking asshole.

He leaned in to the open doorway to give me a wicked smile. "Bella, so nice to
see you." His eyes scanned my face and he pretended to frown. "Why so
serious?"

Alice chuckled loudly and I moved to glare at her, catching my reflection in the
mirror and silently cursing my bad luck. I looked like The Joker. Red lipstick
smeared up into a half crazy grin over my face.

See? Told you he was an asshole.

I wiped at the offending mark on my face, smearing it even more.

"Stop it," Alice whined and I sighed in defeat.

"Nice to see you, as well." I gave what little smile I could under the
circumstances.

He smiled a brilliant white smile and I resisted the urge to throw a tampon at his
face.

Rose nodded at me and held her hand out. "Follow me and we'll finish up some of
your paperwork. We're very excited to have you aboard as our newest co-
anchor."

My hands balled into fists and I glared as she walked by. There was no way. Why
was this happening to me? What had I done to make God hate me so much?

"He's your new co-anchor?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, straightening my shoulders. It wasn't worth crying
over.

I was just going to be forced to work with the man I hated the most in this city.

The man I had admired most and then grown to loathe because we were in the
same business and usually ended up trying to get the same stories.

We were constantly competing for the same awards.

For all intents and purposes, he was my arch nemesis. And now I would be
expected to work with him. I'd finally reached Lead Anchor and it probably killed
him to see me rise above him, even if only for a short amount of time. That had
to be the only reason he would have applied at WTWI. It's not like his newscast
was down in ratings. It's not like he wasn't loved all over Seattle.

He was loved for his good looks.

He was more endearing because he was married and had a kid.

He was charming and …perfect.

Damn it all to Hell.

The world officially hated me and it was making me suffer in the form of working
hand in hand with…Carlisle Cullen.

Suddenly, I no longer felt like celebrating after work. A gallon of Ben and Jerry's,
watching Dear John and poking thumbtacks into my hands sounded like a much
better idea.

Chapter 11: BangerWang!

BPOV

I was drunk.

The entire day had spun by me so quickly I'd hardly had time to relax. Rose had
assembled us all once again to explain that Carlisle was coming aboard and that
we should all make him feel comfortable as soon as he started.

She knew how I felt about him because we had participated in long chats about
what I could do to rise above him in the ratings. How I could take the top news
anchor spot at the station and become Seattle's go-to girl for news. In
comparison to Carlisle Cullen, I had all of the chips stacked against me, but I had
worked my ass off and taken my title.

Now he would be working at my desk with me.

See, America loves family. They love a family man…or woman. Someone who
does their job but their heart is at home with little Timmy or Sally…or Teddy. And
Carlisle was definitely that man. He was only about seven years older than me,
but he had a house in the suburbs, a wife that looked like she shopped at Jackie
O's R Us and did fundraising every day of her life, and an adorable son named
Teddy who probably did GAP ads on the side because he was so freaking
adorable.

I had looked up to Carlisle in the beginning, until I realized that he was my
competition.

Now he was supposed to be able to sit next to me without incident?

Unfrigginglikely.

I blinked lazily and waved at the bartender for another shot. The entire situation
was making me feel less than stellar…and a little paranoid, to tell the truth.
Downing my shot, I turned in my seat to scour the bar for any sight of Edward. I
caught a glimpse of his shock of sex hair and my reaction was to immediately lick
my lips.

I really needed to get laid after the week I had endured. After today, especially.

He was bent over and talking to someone and I narrowed my eyes, squinting to
see who it was.

"Alice," I whispered.

They were leaning all into each other and she was smiling at him before she
pressed her cheek against his to whisper in his ear. It could have been because
the bar was loud and she was so soft spoken.

Or…maybe she was trying to steal my Wang.

As if Alice could steal my Wang. He was mine. Mine. I named him. I called dibs.
Mine.

"No Alice steals my Wang," I muttered and started to stand to my feet.

The bar was playing a mix of older music from the eighties and nineties and I
started to drift off as I recognized the music overhead.

"Shooting at the walls of heartache," I sang along. "Bang, bang…I am the
warrior…"

My thought process pretty much went to shit at that point.

"Bang, bang…Bang Wang. Banger Wang!" I was giggling now, thinking of the last
time I had watched Hook. "Bangerang…Rufio. Rufio…" My eyes were almost
crossed by the time I got over to where they were sitting in a huge group.

Edward looked up and smiled wide, his inebriation apparent as well. "Muff," he
slurred and I leaned over to plant a sloppy kiss on his lips, keeping my eyes on
Alice as I did.

"BangerWang," I sighed as I let his lips go. It was my attempt at being sexy. I
failed miserably when my right foot tripped over his left one under the table.
Attempting to cushion my fall, I went limp and flailed gracelessly into his lap.

"You are so wasted," Emmett tsked, bleary eyed.

"Blah. Pot and kettle and all that shit, Em." I waved my hand at him in dismissal.
Turning my lips to Edward's ear, I attempted to whisper. "Is Alice trying to take
you home?"

His face pulled back from mine viciously quick. "What? We were just talking about
you…"

My eyes flicked to her and I looked away. "Oh. Sorry."

Edward's hand found my cheek and he turned my face back towards his. Though
his eyes were glassy, his face was concerned. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. This whole week has my brain fried and…I just…" My face leaned
closer to his. "I've missed you and your Pringles can."

His eyes widened and he blinked once, hard. "I'm calling a cab." Depositing me
hastily in his chair, he rushed outside to use his cell phone.

Alice was smiling coyly. "Why would you think I was hitting on Edward?"

My mouth dropped open in surprise. "Oh, shit."

She shook her head. "I'll let it slide. This time." She winked and slid her hand
under the table at the same time that Jasper jumped a little and then gave her a
playful smile.

Was she rubbing one out for him under there?

Averting my attention to Rose, I followed her ping-pong match conversation with
Emmett. He was never belligerently drunk, but he was ridiculously handsy…and
Rose was having none of it. It even kind off looked like a Three Stooges episode.
He would go in for a kiss and she would smack his cheek. He'd move to whisper
in her ear and she would pop him upside the head.

All that was missing was her poking him in the eye.

More music overhead as I sang along. I changed up the words a little. "We are a
part of the Wanger Nation..."

Edward's voice was suddenly in my ear and I felt my entire body shudder with
anticipation. "Let's go," he breathed and I felt my nipples tighten and my thighs
clench.

Yes, Sir, Wang, Sir.

Before I knew what had happened, we were in the cab and I was straddling his
lap. Gripping his neck in one hand and a tuft of his hair in the other, I kissed him
fiercely, hips grinding against him and my skirt riding up towards my hips.

"You're so sexy," I whined into his mouth and flicked my tongue out to tease him.
I was totally working my A game, that was for sure.

He chuckled and cupped my ass cheeks firmly, pressing me down against his
newly formed erection.

"How does it stay in your pants?" I asked in awe, grinding against it a little. Okay.
A lot.

"It won't be in them much longer if you don't calm down." He rested his head
against the back of the seat and let out a shuddering breath. "I want to be inside
of you so bad…"

The cab slid to a halt, jerking us forcefully and I fell back off of his lap and into
the cabby's seat.

"You're here," the cabby called in irritation.

"Thank God," Edward groaned and opened his door to slide out of the seat. He
turned away to adjust himself and I handed money to the driver, giving him a
sloppy smile. Within moments I was back in Edward's arms and we were kissing,
attempting to walk and get inside of the apartment entryway all at the same
time. We didn't even pull apart to get on the elevator and suddenly I wished that
it moved a little slower because I would have liked to screw him in an
elevator…against the wall…with some of my clothes still on. Only, my apartment
manager had installed…

"Cameras," I gasped, pushing him away one floor before my own. He looked up
above our heads and frowned, cursing under his breath. We stayed apart for the
next thirty excruciating seconds before the door pinged and opened, allowing us
to exit and stumble to my door.

I struggled blindly with the lock and threw the door open with haste, yanking him
inside by fisting his shirt and dragging him down the hallway to my living room.
"Take it off," I ordered, yanking on the hem of his shirt like the horny little
greedy bitch I was.

There was no hesitation on his part. If I was sober his awkward strip tease would
have been sexy, instead it made me giggle and hindered me from taking off my
own clothes in a timely manner. But it didn't matter once we reached the couch. I
just wanted him inside of me.

Now.

He towered over me, naked and ready and the tequila shots made me braver
than I would be without them. I leaned up on my tiptoes and ran my nipples
across his bare chest before nipping at his lips with my teeth. His arms wrapped
around me tightly and he held me to his chest as we kissed, open mouthed and
tongue wrestling until I couldn't breathe any longer.

With a final kiss to his lips, I turned in his arms and leaned forward, reaching my
arms out to brace them on the back of the couch. He made a strangled moaning
sound and let his arms relax, palming my breasts as I settled my knees on the
couch and spread my knees wider. With a look over my shoulder, I caught his
gaze and bit my lip.

"Damn," he breathed out in a rush.

His lips landed softly on my shoulder and his palm rounded my ribs to run
upwards to my breast while the other hand slipped across my ass cheek and
inward, tickling across my lips. One finger slid between them, parting me open as
he opened his mouth against my neck and flicked his tongue out.

His middle finger flicked lightly over my clit and I bucked my ass into his thighs,
whimpering when it retracted and slipped into me. I could feel his cock at the
small of my back and I ached to reach around and touch it but before I could act
on it, he pinched my nipple and made me cry out in pleasure.

"Ed…ward," I whined. "I want it."

His grunt in return made me grin. Strong hands pulled my thighs father apart and
then I felt the tip of his dick right there… hovering and pressing only slightly
before I tightened my hold on the back of the couch and let my head fall back.
Arching and bowing back, I closed my eyes as he stretched me wide open and
slid all the way in.

Fingers wrapped around each of my hips and he adjusted his knees against the
couch, settling as deep as possible. My head leaned into his shoulder and I let out
a long, satisfied breath.

All of the stress from the week suddenly disappeared and I felt myself lose all of
the control I had been trying to keep hold of. I whispered one word into the air,
hoping that he heard me when I said it.

"Harder."

His hips stilled their slow rotation and he pressed shaky lips to my cheek.
"What?"

"Harder, Edward. Please." My eyes were open now and my arms were already
shaking from the position.

He moved some hair from my shoulder and I turned my face to look into his
eyes. "Are you sure?"

Damn, Wang. Want me to spell it out in coon juice on my floor?

"Yes. Hard. Er."

He gripped my hips even tighter and I squeezed my eyes shut as he moved out
of me almost all the way and then…he crashed into me with force, knocking my
head forward to hang down into my chest. I lifted my ass higher and met each of
his sharp thrusts, the relaxed state of my body from the alcohol allowing me to
take as much as he could give me.

I was screaming. His name. Telling him to go harder. My face went from buried in
the back of the couch to biting it and gasping for air. He was pounding into me
harder than I had ever experienced in my life but I was screaming for more.

I may have…probably did … black out.

When I came to I was still talking, telling him how big he was. How good he felt. I
was begging him to never stop.

"Bella, I'm giving it to you as hard as I can," he rasped, the words coming out
choppy as he gave me what I was screaming for. "Your neighbors…"

"I don't care," I yelled, letting my head fall back again and looking at him, my
vision practically gone from the intensity.

"Holy shit." He moved his hands back and dug into the meat of my ass, pulling
me open wider.

"Yes," I yelled and focused on his hands. I was so brave when I was drunk. Brave
enough to play with myself while he practically impaled me over and over. My
fingers circled and swirled and my nails met with the slick hardness of his shaft as
it moved in and out of me at a rapid pace. "I'm coming, Edward…"

I just needed this. I needed this from him and with him to eradicate how I'd been
feeling all day.

My thighs stiffened and I arched back, one hand still on my clit and the other
wrapped around his neck to pull him as close to me as possible as one of his
hands attached itself to a breast and pulled. And I was done, the heat and coiling
weight in my abdomen shooting down victoriously fast as it exploded between my
legs and I shuddered, going rigid and screaming his name. Pulsing around him, I

felt more wetness leak out and heard the change in wet slapping sounds as he
jerked violently into me and pressed his face into my neck, coming hard and fast.

Eventually, his movements slowed and we fell onto the couch together, breathing
in harsh breaths and wrapped around each other. My arms lay across his and my
fingers slid between his fingers, securing my back to his chest. He settled in
behind me and took a few settling breaths before a laugh escaped his throat.

"What's so funny?" I inquired, my tongue thick and fuzzy from all of my hard
breathing.

He shifted up on his elbow and looked down at my upturned face. "Someone may
think that I was killing you in here."

I chuckled. "I don't care."

8=================================D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We fell asleep on the couch in our post coital embrace, but halfway through the
night I had to get up to pee.

Damn you, Tequila and your bladder bursting ways.

My head was fuzzy and my eyes could barely adjust to the lights in the bathroom
as I did my business. Making my way back to the living room, I made sure that
my Wang had a blanket and I wobbled into the kitchen on sore legs with an even
sorer Coon Box.

"I need aspirin," I whispered to no one in particular. Downing a glass of water
and popping the pills, I stretched my neck a little and went to shut off the light.
And that's when something caught my eye on the floor.

Edward's camera. He'd had it with him at work and I must have missed him
bringing it in from the bar, what with me trying so desperately to get his dick
inside of me. I looked at his sleeping form again and grabbed it, sneaking off to
my bedroom to try and get a good look at the tape again.

I felt absolutely terrible about ruining his footage. There had to be some way for
me to make it up to him, I just wasn't sure how.

Opening the viewer, I chose the right recording and watched, feeling stupid at
how I had just turned the camera on without paying attention. It had caught
everything from my confession to needing to have sex with him, to my ambitious
dreams about being the next Maureen Maher.

When the sex started, I wanted to turn it off, but I watched for a bit, feeling sexy
and beginning to get a little bit turned on again. My vag would have flipped me
off if she could have, but she had no fingers. Well, none of her own. She had
mine and Edward's and she needed to be grateful for all of the above.

Forcing myself to bypass the intensely hot sexin' that I had inadvertently
captured on top of his life's dreams, I settled on the recording just beyond it
when the battery had died. I was thankful that it had because he may have lost
way more footage if it hadn't.

My eyes were met with the face of a middle aged man, dark in complexion and
with a head full of tattered and filthy looking dreadlocks. His teeth were what
caught my eye, though: they were white as white could be. Odd for a homeless

man, really. His face was pleasant and he spoke amicably with James as he led
the camera down some abandoned alley.

Laurent.

Edward had briefly told me about the work he was doing on the subject of a
homeless man that chose a life of vagrancy. The entire thing confused me…why
would someone want to be a gypsy? What would make a man decide to live with
nothing to his name? No family. No home. No way to find him.

Even in my receding state of drunkenness it made no sense to me. Perhaps that
was why Edward and James wanted to do the documentary on him so badly. He
was charming, in a way. His mouth smiled more than his eyes but that could be
attributed to his pain and misery. He looked haunted by ghosts of a past that he
might never reveal to anyone.

I watched for a good thirty minutes, mesmerized by the man and his stories, and
the places he was showing James or Edward, depending on who was taping which
scene I had flipped to. Laurent was at ease. He was willing to share his story. He
wanted these men to know something about him.

My eyes caught something in the frame and I paused it, blinking hard and trying
to squint to see more clearly through my haze. As it focused in on the object, I
sat back a little, astonished.

Information clicked through my brain at a rapid pace and I shook my head to
clear it. It was the alcohol. It had to be.

But just in case it wasn't…when I woke up in the morning and looked at the tape
again…If what I saw there now was still there in the morning, I would be going on
Edward's next filming session with Laurent.

And I would definitely secure my place at the station.

Carlisle Cullen had nothing on me.

Chapter 12: He's Just Not That In You

BPOV

"Matt Dylan. Dylan McDermott. Dermott Mulrooney."

Edward eyed me warily from the driver's seat. "What are you doing?"

I smiled into the vanity mirror as I checked my teeth. "I'm doing my warm ups."

"Right."

Flipping the visor closed, I turned towards him and rested my head against the
back of the seat. "Try it. It stretches your lips and gets your vocals warmed up."
Batting my eyelashes, I added, "Then I like to say my favorite words in rapid
succession. Diphthong. Sphincter. Onomatopoeia."

His grip on the wheel must have slipped or something because he jerked the car
violently to the right.

"Damn, Wang! Trying to kill me and make it look like an accident?"

Edward corrected the car and let out a howl of laughter. "Your favorite word is
'sphincter'?"

"Only one of them," I chided back, my smile a mile wide knowing I had made him
laugh. The weekend had flown by way too fast, and thanks to my 'give it to me
baby…uh-huh- uh-huh' attitude from Friday night, we had been without sexual
contact for the remainder of the weekend. Seriously, I don't know what I had
been thinking. Sure there was booze involved. And sure, I had seen another
woman potentially trying to steal my man, even though she wasn't; and my mind
wanted to tar and feather Alice and then pluck her feathers back out just to tar
her again…

So, maybe my little, tiny, itty bitty burst of jealousy had been uncalled for. Either
way, the sex was incredible. And I paid dearly for it the remainder of the
weekend. Damn if it didn't hurt to wear sweatpants, much less jeans or anything
else. It literally felt like I had been punched in the labia.

Closed fist, Bobby Brown. Straight to my baby maker.

Yeah, I limped. It hurt like a bitch. And I was not about to put a bag of peas
where I … pee.

It left us open for more time to talk and snuggle. And the fact that Edward was
actually into snuggling on the couch, full on spoon-style, made me want to hump
him even more. But my Muff had knit an afghan along with a sleep mask, and
was adamant about getting some rest, so I let her.

Today she was feeling much better, and I was trying my best to calculate a way
to get Edward alone for at least…thirty minutes. Somewhere. My office. The van.
On top of the conference room table…

My knees pressed together as the fantasy began to form in my mind.

Edward's phone rang and he answered quickly. From the tempo and pitch of the
words coming through the speaker, I had to assume it was James. My fantasy
disappeared immediately as I listened to their exchange, trying to pick out little
pieces of dialogue here and there.

"James says 'hi'," Edward teased.

I narrowed my eyes menacingly. "I bet he does."

"Tomorrow night. I got it. Tell Laurent I'll be there." He finished up the
conversation and sighed, leaning into the driver's side door as he pressed a
thumb to his temple.

"You have a meeting with Laurent tomorrow?" Trying my best to control my
voice, I gave my most innocent 'face'.

"Yeah. We lost a lot of footage, so I'm going to have to spend more time with
him. Most of it was following him around for a couple of days. He did share a few
stories that I would liked to have added into the film, and I'd hate to ask him to
repeat them. They're not as fresh that way. Like…reality television. You know
when they're trying to reenact something that's already happened."

"So, take me. Maybe he'll tell me his stories? And it will be fresh because I'll be a
new pair of ears?"

The car pulled to a halt in the parking lot and he parked it, turning to stare at me.
"Really? You'd want to come and hang out with us?"

I nodded.

"I don't know, Bella. It's dangerous…"

"I'm with you," I reminded him.

"Yeah. You are with me, aren't you?" The twinkle in his eye alerted me to the
pride he was feeling at that statement.

A chuckle gave way to a sigh and he leaned in to kiss me firmly on the lips. His
left hand slid into my hair and he pulled me closer, his mouth unyielding as he
slipped his tongue into my mouth and nipped at my lip. And like the Wang-whore
I am, my whole body slid into him and my knees fell open as I angled myself,
seconds away from vaulting myself over the console and straddling his lap.

His palm had slipped across my shoulder and ribs, headed straight for the neon
sign flashing "WET PANTIES" between my open thighs. I could definitely handle a
pre-work, early A.M. fingerbang in the parking lot. There was very little sweet
talking I had to do with my Coon Box. She was in. And waiting for Edward to
be…in…too.

"Shit," he yelled and pulled back from me unexpectedly.

"What?" I asked, my eyes flying open to follow his gaze. When I saw what he was
looking at, I huffed and lifted my middle finger. Stupid Emmett wagging his
tongue and pumping his hips as he smacked the air like it was a plump, juicy ass.

"Busted," Edward chuckled.

Emmett finally stopped his air humping and walked over to my window, pressing
his beefy face against the glass. "Don't stop now, it was just getting good," he
snorted, opening his mouth and doing his best suckerfish impersonation.

"Ugh. I can see your breakfast," I yelled at him through the window and pounded
on the glass lightly to get him to back up. "Didn't your mom teach you to floss?"

He backed away, grinning like the idiot that he was. "What do you see? Pieces of
bagel? Or Rose?"

I threw the car door open and nailed him in the thigh. He whimpered and jumped
back a foot, his face scrunching up in pain. "I don't think Rose would like you
talking about that, Emmett." I rolled my eyes and leaned back in to grab my
purse from my seat.

"Oh, I'm sure she's okay with it," he guffawed. "You might not want to let her
kiss you on the cheek this morning, though."

Nice. Now I had a visual of Rose getting her daily protein in a non-shake form.

"I won't be sharing any drinks with her today, either. Thanks for the warning."
Backwash like that could have made me throw up my large intestine.

Emmett made another crude gesture and I pushed him away so that I could get
by him and next to the man who had eaten marshmallows out of my belly button
this morning.

What? Like you don't like hot chocolate? Well, you would if it had marshmallows
in it. And Edward's tongue attached to the end of them, swirling them around
your belly button before…a cold shower because we had overslept and would be
late for work.

Damn. That would be the last time I attempted to cook breakfast while running
late just so I could make a man happy and feel domestic.

I snuck a look at Edward's content expression and sighed like the love struck idiot
I was. I was in so much trouble. I was in so deep. And I was happy.

Go me.

And it was then that I knew I would spend many more mornings making burnt
breakfasts for the man whose fingers were in between mine as we entered the
station to start another day.

8==============================================D

I sat at the news desk and swallowed the vomit that seemed to be floating in my
esophageal tube. Carlisle was delivering his first portion of the news, and it was
flawless. He was perfect and clean with his reporting, his voice smooth with an
edge of some strange, almost British, lilt to it that made me think of Madonna
when she got married and moved to England.

Edward looked so hot standing behind his camera, focusing his angle on Carlisle's
kind eyes and sharp features. Carlisle's hair was glinting under the lights and the
shiny reflective strands were distracting me. I just wanted to stand up and muss
his locks until they were standing straight up on their ends. Then he would look
like Gene Wilder in Bride of Frankenstein.

I smiled a little as I imagined Mr. Cullen holding his rubber gloved hands to the
sky and screaming, "It's ALIVE!"

Mad scientist...Like Carlisle Cullen would waste his God-given good looks in a
white lab coat. I almost snorted out loud at the thought. It was a pretty picture in
my head, though: Carlisle as a doctor. With band-aids and a steady hand for
stitches.

"Bella?"

I looked quickly to my left to see him smiling pleasantly. The green light on
Edward's camera caught my attention and I stared at it for a second as the
embarrassing pause began to turn into a humiliating effort on my part to even
form a coherent thought. One word. Just...one...word.

My stupid brain had gone into some sort of failure at the thought of Carlisle in a
lab coat and I had lost my place on the teleprompter.

"Sphincter."

My face scrunched up and I popped one eye open to see Edward chuckling, full
body trembling as he tried to hold his composure together at my favorite word
flying out of my mouth in a moment of panic. I pulled in a deep breath and
relaxed my face to smile at the camera and caught the rolling words as they
scrolled across the screen. Emmett was chuckling and I could even hear Jasper to
my right as he began to completely lose his cool.

I had no control over myself as the laughter built and I turned bright red from
trying to keep it inside. Instead, I let it overtake me and the tears fell from my

eyes as I heaved in a steady breath. Between Edward's laughter, Emmett howling
and Jasper's sputtering, I was gone. Lost to the hilarity of the fact that I was born
to say stupid things.

Even with Carlisle by my side.

With trembling fingers, I wiped my tears away and turned to face Carlisle with a
smile. Extending my hand, I met his gaze and watched as his hand met mine.
With a shake, I shrugged and pumped his palm once. "Welcome to the team."

I turned back to the camera and adjusted my shirt, smiling right into the lens
where I knew Edward was watching me. He had pulled himself together enough
to stand up and I gave the last report of the evening, my cheeks hurting from
laughing and smiling so big.

Rose didn't even address it afterwards.

Carlisle appeared perplexed as we exited the sound stage. "Did you really just
say 'sphincter' on camera? And get away with it?"

I shrugged and pressed my fingers to my temple. "Yeah. I did. Makes me
relatable to the masses, don't you think?"

"I think it makes you a liability," he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and
leaning against the doorframe that led into the hallway.

With a nod, I dropped my hands to my sides. "I'm sure you're right. If only we
could all be like you, Carbuncle."

"I have always hated that nickname. Even when you used to like me."

My heart twisted slightly in my chest and I looked away, pulling at the edge of
my shirt sleeve. "Yeah, well...that was before you became my competition."
Meeting his eyes again, I straightened my shoulders. "Now, you're part of my
team and we have to get along."

His mouth curled into a smile. "I'm not your enemy, Bella."

I snorted and shook my head. "So, you didn't come here to try and take my Lead
Anchor spot?"

He was silent.

"That's what I thought." I felt the tears beginning in my eyes and I blinked them
back furiously. The truth was that I looked up to Carlisle greatly, and I hated
having to be the pessimistic conspiracy theorist. But his silence had confirmed my
fears.

"It's just the business," he said quietly.

I sniffed and looked down the hall again. "Well, make sure you have an Ace up
your sleeve, Carbuncle." My fake smile was back. "Because I sure do."

8==============================================D

I sat next to Edward in his car as he stared out of the windshield. "You can say
no, Muff. If you're uncomfortable in any way. It's really not necessary..."

Placing a hand on his shoulder, I squeezed lightly. "I screwed up. I'm taking
responsibility. And, also..."

His face moved in the shadows and I caught the way his eyes glinted under the
street lamp. "What?"

My mouth opened to tell him the truth, but I couldn't do it. There was no need to
alert him if my theory was wrong. I'd done enough research to know that I
wasn't, though. It was right there on the film. So instead, I asked a question.

"Do you have logs of the days that you've spent with Laurent?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I'd like to see them."

His mouth pulled into a thin line. "What are you up to?"

I looked beyond him through the glass. "I'll tell you tonight? After we meet
Laurent. I promise."

Edward sat still as stone and stared at me in the limited light. "I hate the fact
that I can't read your mind, you know that? It would be much easier if I could."

"Nah. Remember that Mel Gibson movie where he could read ladies' minds? It
might have contributed to his epic meltdown. Trust me...you don't want to be in
my head. It's a very...scary...place."

His mouth twitched a little and he let out a long, exaggerated breath. "Please
don't do anything stupid. Don't get us killed, okay?"

"Edward," I started, my tone completely serious as I angled my upper body over
the console, "I have no intention of contributing to your death. I have lots of
ideas and plans for us that span quite a long stretch of time..." My tongue
suddenly felt thick as I watched his smile fall and his face turn serious. "Unless..."
I swallowed what little spit I had in my now dry mouth. "Un...unless you don't
want to...to...ya know...t-t-talk about us like that?"

I've said it before, but Edward Masen's eyes held picket fences and babies and
little lab puppies shitting in my shoes. In such a short amount of time, I had
begun to think of these things: With him. Only him. And I was having little
fantasies about watching him grow older, with babies on his knee and reading
stupid shit like Hop On Pop.

Like, I would be making soup or something, and he'd be watching the news and
I'd glance over to see him looking at me wistfully as our children set the table...

Watching the news.

The news.

My head swam with the conflicting images of me being successful and following
my dreams...or having things I'd never wanted before with someone that made
me feel ...complete.

His answer didn't need words. He simply kissed me hungrily, pulling me over onto
his lap and tightening his hold on me as we kissed, hot and steamy, fogging up
the glass in the car. Apparently Wang wanted my Muff for an extended amount of
time, too.

I couldn't think of forever, though. The concept wasn't something I could wrap
my brain around. It was like trying to imagine what being in Heaven would be
like: Every day of Forever. Unending. Ceaseless.

But, in Edward's arms, that amount of time seemed like a pretty good deal.

There was an abrupt thump on the driver's side window and I jumped in Edward's
arms, hitting the steering wheel too harshly and honking the horn. The person on
the other side of the door didn't move. My hand reached out and I slapped my
palm onto the glass, feeling a little Kate Winslet-ish as I let it slide across the
steamed up pane.

What came into view was the blackest pair of eyes I had ever seen, staring into
the window with a strange look on his face. Our eyes met and a chill ran down
my spine, making every last pleasant thought I had leave my mind in a fraction
of a second.

My intuition had to be correct. There was no doubt about it because the level of
dread that settled into my spine and up my neck was a sure sign that I was in the
presence of danger.

"Laurent," I said with a soft whisper. Struggling to move off of Edward, I shifted
my ass back into my seat and reached into my purse for my mini pepper spray.
Quickly, I shoved it into my sock and adjusted my pant leg back, thankful for the
fogged glass and Edward's form blocking my actions. I settled back into my seat
just as Edward was cracking the car door open and saying hello to the filthy
looking man who was still staring at me as if he were hungry.

As if he were sizing me up.

Like a target.

But I wouldn't fit his modus operandi. No, if my gut instinct was correct, and I
had actually seen on the tape what I had pinpointed as the red rope that was
being used to kill women all over Seattle...from prostitutes to business
women...then Laurent wouldn't want me as a victim. I was a brunette. He didn't
prefer brunettes.

The Seattle Serial Killer preferred blondes.

And I was about to crack the biggest story of my career if I could prove it.

As a bonus, I would give Edward an even bigger story for his documentary than
he had bargained for. Perhaps, we would get the future I had fantasized about in
the car.

All of it.

If I played it cool and didn't let on that I knew.

And, mostly, if we survived the night.

Chapter 13: Theories and Queries

EPOV

Laurent looked uneasy as I exited the car.

"Who is that?" he asked; eyes narrowed with distrust.

"That is Bella," I said and closed the car door behind me only to open the trunk to
pull out my gear. "She's my girlfriend and … she saw some of the interviews we'd
done with you over the past weeks. I told her she could come along and maybe
ask you a few questions."

"She's that reporter from the TV," he glared.

I checked my sound equipment. "Yeah. So she's better at interviews than I am."
Pausing, I added, "How did you know she's a reporter?"

He gave me a disgusted look. "Her face is on the bus."

That made sense.

"You feeling okay, Laurent?" I leaned in and pinned his microphone to his dirty
jacket. "You're not usually so…" I chanced a smile, "paranoid."

"Not paranoid," he grumbled and let me finish what I was doing. "I just didn't
think you'd be bringing little…girls...along. Thought you and that James kid
wanted 'one-on-ones'."

"It's still one-on-one. I'll just be running the camera." I gave him a reassuring
wink and punched him lightly on the shoulder. Laurent didn't respond, he just
turned and walked a few feet away to the street lamp and leaned against the
post.

Bella approached and turned her back to Laurent so he couldn't see her mouth
move. "He hates me already."

"Probably not."

"Really? Then why is he throwing eye daggers at my back right now?"

I chanced a glance in his direction and was surprised to see that she was right.
Bella Swan was way too intuitive for her own good. "He's not," I lied.

She rolled her eyes and shoved her hands into her jacket pockets as I turned her
around and gently pushed her towards where he was standing. He watched us
approach warily, eyes trained on Bella as if he were suddenly defeated.

"Laurent? Meet Bella Swan."

She pulled her hand out to shake his and he shook his head, his shoulders
slumping as he turned and walked in front of us to the alley he had laid claim to
as his home. Tattered cardboard boxes were stacked in corners as well as a
shopping cart with his only belongings in it, pushed off to the side. I noticed Bella
making quick glances around his 'home' as he led us in.

Laurent stopped and faced us again. "What are we doing tonight?"

Bella shifted from foot to foot, not quite sure where to focus so she looked at me
for guidance.

"I was wondering if you could tell Bella the story of why you left home in the first
place. What brought you here to Seattle?" Shifting my camera onto my shoulder,
I turned on the light.

Laurent shielded his eyes from the glare until they had grown more accustomed
to the brightness. "I already told you that story."

"I know, but Bella wanted to hear it."

"So, let her watch the damn video." He was starting to get perturbed and I
wondered what exactly was setting him off so badly.

Bella cleared her throat and he looked at her quickly before staring off above her
head. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," she reassured him.
I watched her eyes roam over his belongings and her attention seemed transfixed
by something in his shopping cart. "I mean," her stare grew glossy and she went
quiet for a moment, "if you'd rather this just be between you and Edward…with
James…then I don't want to intrude."

Laurent eyed her suspiciously. "What? Having a change of heart?"

She shook her head and gave a camera ready smile. "No. I can just tell that
you're not exactly a fan of me being here. This documentary is very important to
Wa…Edward. I don't want to cause any unnecessary tension, so why don't I go sit
in the car for a while?"

My protective instinct caused my shoulders to tense and I stopped her movement
back towards the car with my hand. "I'm not leaving you here in the car. I can
meet with Laurent another time."

Something in her eyes confirmed that we needed to leave. Placing the camera by
my side, I turned off the light and tightened my hand around her upper arm. "I'll
come back in a couple of days and we'll get more film, okay?" Laurent wasn't
looking at me but he nodded once, removed the mic to hand back to me, and
then shuffled off to the back of the alley.

He'd never acted so strangely before and I wasn't sure if it was just Bella's
presence, but he was definitely on edge around her. We got back in the car and I
loaded my gear before sliding into the driver's seat and fastening my seat belt.
Bella's knees were bobbing uncontrollably and she had her arms wrapped around
herself as she stared out of the still fogged glass of the windshield.

"What was that about?" I asked, trying to get her to look at me by holding onto
one of her fidgeting legs.

She let out a long breath and blinked repeatedly. "I've got a hunch."

"A hunch?"

"A hunch."

"And your hunch is…?"

She finally looked at me and pressed her lips together, filling her cheeks up with
air until she looked like a chipmunk.

"Spill it," I monotoned.

"I…I…I need to see your records of days that you worked with Laurent because I
saw something on the video that you had of him and now I saw the same thing in
his shopping cart and I don't know how you didn't notice it but he has a red rope
in that cart and I'm pretty sure that if we match the days of your filming against
days of the killings in Seattle, you'll see that Laurent is most likely…the…Seattle

Serial Killer," she finished breathlessly and closed her eyes tight, popping one
open to take in my reaction.

But I was shocked into silence.

"Say something?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"You thought that he might be a serial killer." My mouth twisted into a frown. "So
you asked for me to bring you with me?"

Her lack of response told me it was true.

I threw the gearshift of my car into drive and slammed on the gas, squealing tire
sounds making me momentarily feel like an extra on the set of The Fast and The
Furious.

The first one. Not the ones after it that sucked, okay?

"What? I mean…how would you have expected me to protect you from a serial
killer, Bella?" My hands were gripping the wheel so tightly my knuckles were
white.

"He wouldn't do it on camera! Plus, he's killing blondes. And…and…" she
sputtered before lifting her hands helplessly. "You could have knocked him out
with your dick! It's like a Billy club in your pants…I'm not lying."

"I'm not amused."

"How about aroused?"

"No."

"Would you like to be?"

I pulled off the side of the road and parked the car, facing her in the darkness of
the quiet cabin. "You. Think. Laurent. Isaserialkiller?"

"Pretty sure. Yes."

"Because you saw what looked like a red rope in his shopping cart."

"I told you that I like to read about serial killers and true crime. I am pretty
attuned to all things creepy and murderous. This is my 'thing', okay?" She
pumped finger quotes.

It didn't make sense. "Why would he agree to be on camera, then?"

She shrugged. "Some of them feel more of a rush when they're in danger of
being caught. Or, maybe he's like The Zodiac and wants to be caught. Maybe he's
tired of it…"

I pulled back out onto the road and we rode in silence, back to my apartment.
Making sure to open her car door for her, I ushered her inside and pointed to the
couch. "You. Sit." When she had plopped her ass down I walked over and banged
on James' bedroom door.

He opened it and I was met with a thick wall of smoke. Coughing, I waved my
hand in front of my face and told him to meet in the living room as soon as he
was able.

That took exactly eight minutes.

"What's wrong?" James asked as he slid onto the couch and let his legs fall open.

"Close your fly," I called, shaking my head in irritation.

Slowly, he reached down and pulled up his zipper and a moment later, Victoria
appeared. She waved lazily at Bella and crept onto the couch, rubbing her face in
James' crotch.

"I'm thirsty," she sighed and clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "I
want to drink a thousand orange Fantas. Oh…maybe the grape one. The
pineapple one thinks she's pretty but she's not. I'd throat punch her if I ever saw
her in public."

"What?" Bella was legitimately confused.

Victoria sighed loudly and waved her hand at Bella. "Those Fantana bitches with
their stupid jet-skis and whatnot."

"It's a commercial, Bella." My irritation for the situation was growing by the
second. And having Cheech and Chong in the living room while I was hell bent on
discussing serious business wasn't making things any better. "Son of a bitch," I
muttered and stood to my feet. Within a minute I had grabbed two waters from
the fridge and a box of Little Debbie brownies for the stoners. Once they were
situated and quiet I began.

"Bella met Laurent tonight. Apparently she had seen the video footage on the
camera…"

"Me too," Victoria garbled around her brownie. "You're really flexible, Bella." Her
eyes looked impressed and dropped to the front of my pants. "And I had no idea
you were smuggling a baby elephant in your pants." Her gaze turned to a stare
and it began to get uncomfortable as the silence in the room grew.

"Can you please focus on my words and not my junk?" I asked, grinding my teeth
together in frustration.

"No. Sorry. That needs to go into Guinness or something. That's a record breaker
right there." Her mouth was filling up with brownie and she started to drool out of
one side of her mouth.

James tilted his head to the side, "What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged and wiped her face with the back of her hand, smearing brownie
juice across her chin. "I mean, that's not normal. Not like yours…it's all tiny and
skinny and, like, 'Heeey. I'm a dick. A regular ole' dick.' But Eddie boy has Andre
the Giant in his Jockeys, and it's all, 'Grr. I'm a Cock Beast'." She made claws
with her hands and pursed her lips as she zoned out. "Cock beast…"

I couldn't even find something witty to retort with.

"Ha…ha ha ha ha ha," James began to laugh and his mouth opened to reveal
brownie caked up in his teeth.

Bella was trying to suppress her laughter and it wasn't helping.

"Everyone stop talking about my Muff Sub and focus. Please?" And just like that,
they were all staring at me attentively. "What? You get to name it all kinds of shit
and I don't?" I raised a brow at Bella and she pressed her lips together, wide
eyed as she shook her head no.

"What did Bella see?"

I looked James in the eye and took a deep breath. "She saw what she believes to
be a murder weapon. Used by the Seattle Serial Killer."

The entire room went silent as James and Victoria stared at me with their mouths
hanging open.

"He's telling the truth. I saw a red rope on the video and when I met him tonight
he was acting really, really strange. Like he knew that I knew or something. Who
he is on camera while talking to you and Edward is not who he is in real life."
Bella's voice trailed off as the other two stared at her with blank expressions.

"So…he has a red rope?" Victoria finally asked. "That doesn't mean…"

James interrupted her. "We have no real proof."

I sat heavily on the couch and rested my head against the back to stare up at the
ceiling.

"We should look through the tapes and see if there's anything you guys might
have been oblivious to. And we can check your logs of days that you were filming
him against days that the murders happened. Maybe there is a correlation
between what was said on the tapes and how many people were killed in a time
frame." Bella finally turned gravely serious. "I'd hate to think that my meeting
with him tonight would result in someone else getting hurt."

"And if you're wrong?" James was beginning to slump a little under the gravity of
the situation.

"If I'm wrong then no one is the wiser. This stays between us." Bella sighed
heavily and offered a smile. "If I'm right, though…then your documentary just got
a whole hell of a lot more interesting didn't it?"

That was all it took for James to jump up from the couch and spring into action.
For the next four hours he and I pored over the interviews and video, making
notes on what Laurent had said about his past or how he reacted to certain things
that would not have been a red flag earlier, yet now seemed plain as day under
meticulous scrutiny.

Victoria helped to match days of our work with days that women had been found
and Bella buzzed between all of us, gathering information from each source as
she began to piece things together. And somewhere around two o'clock in the
morning, she called us all into the kitchen to see the flowchart that she had
assembled with random items from our cupboards. She had spaghetti noodles
tracing lines across paper and small cherry tomatoes marking the spots that
bodies had been found in.

"Classy," I said and twirled one around with my fingertip.

"Please don't finger my cherry," she huffed and slapped my hand away.

James settled the camera on the microwave to tape our meeting of the minds.
Victoria leaned against the counter with her container of granola and eyed the
lines that were littering the kitchen. "Explain the spots that don't have food on
them," she asked and waved her fingers over a few blank spaces.

Bella nodded and pointed a slender finger. "These are days that one of the guys
interviewed or shadowed Laurent. You can clearly see that each of your sessions
resulted in a death within 48 hours of being with Laurent."

She was right.

James took a closer look, his nose hovering above a couple of the pieces of food
marking our crime scenes. "I don't really understand why he would want to be
filmed then?"

I looked to Bella for explanation and she nodded somberly. "I think he's looking
for a way to purge himself of what he's done in the past. But with each new day
or night with you, whatever he's fighting against is getting stronger. It makes
complete sense why he would want to live as a vagrant…have no family or be tied
to anything." She made a wide circle with her finger over the center of the page.
"He doesn't feed his beast within five miles of his alley. Every murder has
happened on the outskirts of his comfort zone so as not to draw attention to his
home." She chewed the inside of her cheek while she mulled it over. "I would
guess that he actually isn't destitute. Have you ever noticed how nice his teeth
are?"

Thinking over all of our time with him, she seemed to be right. Why hadn't we
caught that?

Because we were more interested in him as a subject and not as a real person?

Her theories all made sense and I was at once impressed and pissed. She had
enough foresight to ask me to take her with me, knowing that she was in danger.
And yet, once again, she decided to forego caution and walk head first into
something potentially dangerous.

My mind swirled with thoughts of Laurent and how much time I had spent under
his spell of spun tales and woven stories. It was an intricate spider web of deceit
that was so inviting in every way that I had been blinded to his true menacing
nature. And Bella had walked into it with the full knowledge of the danger that
awaited us.

He could have hurt us.

Her.

My Bella could have died.

The reality of that thought settled into my gut and I looked at her with new eyes.
She wasn't as much of a bad ass as she pretended to be. No. Bella Swan was
clumsy, fragile and small. She put on a good show, but when it came down to it,
her instinct for self-preservation was deeply lacking.

I might have grown up as a movie geek and watched more Mystery Science
Theater 3000 than most guys my age. And I might have spent more time splicing
film than playing football with the idiots I went to school with. But I could protect
my girl from harm if it came down to it. Because Bella Swan might not value her
own safety, but I sure as hell did. And I would do everything in my power to
make sure she stayed in one piece.

Shifting my full attention back to her, I crossed my arms and cleared my throat
to get her attention. "Since you're not his type, how do you suggest we go about
trying out your theory?"

She was thoughtful for a moment and I knew exactly when the wheels in her
mind had turned enough times to provide an adequate response to my query.
Bella had already said that we shouldn't get the police involved until we had more

proof. And from the look that was beginning to form on her face, it was becoming
clear that she had concocted a plan that she was pleased with.

Her eyes lit up and she took a deep breath, speaking only one word. "Rosalie."

Chapter 14: Infectious Affections

BPOV

Hell hath no fury…like Rosalie Lillian Hale pissed off at me.

Her eyes narrowed into the smallest slits I could imagine and I leaned back
farther in my chair hoping that she wouldn't shoot laser beams from them like the
naked chicks from The Neverending Story.

What? Those were the first boobs I saw after my own Mom's…

"You can just say no," I rushed, giving a shrug and hoping that she wouldn't want
to.

Rose shook her head in disbelief, pink coloring her cheeks as the vein in her
forehead began to throb. "Hell yes, I can say no." Her face scrunched up and she
leaned closer to me across the desk. "Why would I jeopardize my own well being
and safety for this…stupid…theory of yours?"

"Because we could be famous? Think about the press, Rose. Think about the
station…what this could do for your name in the industry. We could set up a sting
operation and your name would forever be associated with a small group of
people that helped catch and take down the most infamous serial killer Seattle
has ever had."

The air was still as she simply stared at me.

Voices were suddenly being heard in the hallway and we both turned towards her
office door as the banging began. She jumped to her feet and stood back to let
Carlisle in as he waved a piece of paper in the air, his face lit up with excitement.

"They found another body," he reported breathlessly. "Just about thirty minutes
ago." His eyes flicked back and forth between Rose and the paper. "We need to
get a crew down there as soon as possible."

Rose turned to look at me with her mouth agape.

My expression was openly telling her, 'I told you so'.

8==========================================D

"You don't care that Rose let Carlisle take the lead on that?" Edward looked
skeptical.

I shook my head and scribbled a few notes down on my notepad. "No, he can
take the lead all he wants on reporting what we already know. I'm more
interested in the final story." Looking up at him, I tried to convey what I meant in
words he might understand. "It's like when you're playing a game of Clue, okay?
You know what you know…because of the cards you've been dealt. And with each

new piece of information you get out of the other players, you feel more
confident that it was Colonel Mustard in the Study with a … red rope."

He just stared at me.

"Should I have used another analogy? Geekier? Maybe show you SpongeBob flash
cards?"

"Funny."

"Okay. If Squidward has … no, no, no. If Plankton is going to steal the Krabby
Patty secret ingredient, but Patrick sees him and tells Squidward…"

"Shut up, Muff," Edward chuckled lightly and leaned back in the chair, looking
just a tad bit more relaxed than before. "You're actually going to try and go
through with this. I don't know whether that makes me love you more, or if it
makes me want to call the men in the white coats to come take you away…"

I started to laugh and then stopped. What he'd said starting to filter through my
brain. "What did you say?"

Edward's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. Almost. "White coats?" His Adam's
apple bobbed in his throat.

"Before that."

"Shut up?"

"After that."

"You should be committed."

Leaning across my desk, I pursed my lips and glared. "Committed? To a hospital?
Or…to you?"

"NO WAY IN HELL!"

We both snapped out of our Love Bubble at the sound of Emmett slamming my
office door open and yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Calm down, Ass Master." I stood to my feet and watched Edward move from his
chair to take a protective stance between me and the Angry Hulk.

Emmett was practically shaking with rage. He pointed his index finger at me and
huffed, "You are NOT using my Rosie as bait, you … you …" His brain failed him
as he tried to come up with an adequate insult. Instead, he let out a ridiculous
sounding, "Gerbenflecht!"

I would need to see if that was German or Swedish for 'whore'.

"Calm down, Emmett." Edward was attempting to be the voice of reason, but I
was pretty sure that all Emmett could hear was a ringing in his ears…or that
stabbing sound from Psycho.

Ree

Ree

Ree

Ree

"I would never put her in actual danger, you idiot," I yelled back. "I've got people
on the force that I have already spoken with this morning. My father is an officer,
if you remember correctly. So, I already have some things going on behind the
scenes that you don't know about. But thanks for your incredible lack of trust,
Asshole."

"What?" Emmett blinked a few times as what I said seemed to finally make it
through the wax in his ears.

"Shut the door," I hissed and folded my arms as I watched him follow
instructions.

He stood by the only portal of escape and crossed his meaty arms across his
burly chest, puffing up like a baby penguin. "Explain."

I sighed and sat back in my chair. "My dad knows people. And I kind of made
friends with a certain Riley Biers after I announced to the entire Seattle Area that
he was Top Cock." Throwing a guilty smile at Edward, I whispered, "We know
he's not even close to holding that title…"

"Oh my God," Emmett hollered. "Finish your story and you two can get freaky
after I leave."

Edward settled into the seat across from me and leaned in, now suddenly very
interested in what I had to say. "You've already started planning this?"

"Yes," I responded quietly. "No one else should die because we're shuffling our
feet…" Addressing Emmett again, I glared. "Anyway, Riley put me in touch with
one of his undercover officers. Officer Yorkie is setting up an operation as we
speak."

"Stakeout?" Emmett's eyes suddenly lit up.

I groaned and planted my hands on my face. "Yes, Emmett. A stakeout. With
coffee and donuts. Does this mean you want to be involved now?"

He gave me a dirty look. "I would have been involved no matter what. That's my
woman you're using to get your killer, Bella. I wouldn't be anywhere else."

Edward cleared his throat. "Did you just call her 'Bella'?"

Emmett looked confused. "Yeah, I guess. Why?"

I choked on a laugh. "Because you didn't call me a nickname or anything
derogatory. You just called me Bella."

His cheeks began to turn red.

"You loooove her," I teased him and made a kissy face.

And much to my surprise, he didn't yell at me. He didn't tell me to shut up or
grow up or to get a life. He simply stared me right in the eyes and nodded once.
"I do. So don't get her killed."

8==========================================D

It didn't take as long as I thought it would for Eric to formulate a plan. And while
I felt the need to be focused on my job and the tasks at hand, it was becoming
increasingly more difficult as the hours crawled by. What was the hardest was

that it was going to take a few days or more to be able to set up the 'trap' and
put all of our prospective players into place.

Rose actually started to get into it after our initial meeting with Officer Yorkie. I
wasn't sure if it was because he made the sting operation sound so cool, or if it
was because he was so cute. He was tiny, much smaller than Emmett. He had a
scruffy beard and dark hair that was longer so that he could work more freely
undercover. Between his flannel shirts and his beanie caps, coupled with his
delicate lady wrists and infectious smile, he was a combination of sweet and
grungy.

Like one of those guys who could definitely shave and put on a duck sweater
under a blazer and it would be 'ironic' and 'cute'.

He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the table we were all
gathered at, the lot of us cramped into the secret meeting space. I'd half
expected that we'd be blindfolded and made to say secret passwords in order to
enter the building, but we'd just been given an address and told to arrive
promptly. So we did, and that was how we were all waiting for the final
instructions from Eric.

"Edward, you'll need to act as if nothing has changed. Try to remain as
unaffected as you can. You'll need to keep your appointments with him and
continue to film the documentary as you originally intended." Eric scratched at his
beard and it made a crunchy sound under his fingertips. Then he smiled and it
made me smile back.

Infectious, what can I say?

"What about James?" Edward asked.

"He can come too if you think he can handle it."

"Probably not," Edward and I said in unison.

Eric laughed while Wang and I stared at each other, slightly baffled and
embarrassed at our new ability to speak the same thoughts and finish sentences.

"So, how do we get Laurent to notice Rose?" Emmett. He looked pissed. He'd
seen how Rose was looking at Eric and swooning on him like he's some sweet
British actor that only does Indie films.

Yorkie sighed and offered a look that pretty much said, 'Are you serious'?

"We've gone over that at least twice, Emmett." Rose pinched his leg beneath the
table and Emmett yelped like a puppy.

Rubbing the spot, he mumbled, "I just want to make sure the plans don't
change."

"The plans won't change, Emmett." Eric settled his legs on the floor and he
leaned forward, dropping his voice so that Emmett had no choice but to lean in as
well in order to hear him. It's an old trick, but it works. We were all holding our
breath to hear what Eric was about to say so quietly. "I won't let anything happen
to Rose. Understand? She's not going to have one hair on that beautiful head of
hers harmed. You have my word."

Emmett looked as if he'd had some sort of lobotomy.

And Rose looked like she was crossing her legs and…that bitch was biting her lip.
I guess it was good thing she would be playing the part of a hooker. She was
certainly acting like one at the moment.

The silence in the room turned to a nervous buzz and static was building until I
couldn't take it anymore. The lack of noise was unsettling and the threesome was
staring at each other in some sort of surreal mental stand off.

Clearly, Emmett was losing.

If he didn't get his wits together, Eric Yorkie might actually steal Rose right out
from under his very own nose.

8==========================================D

The bed was calling to me as I finished up my shower. It had been a long day,
and the intense pressure associated with pulling something this momentous off
without a hitch was starting to wear me down. I was being bombarded with
conflicting thoughts: Hoping I was right, for the sake of my job and reputation.
Hoping I was wrong because, while my breakdown of information all seemed to
point to Laurent, it was still possible that I was wrong and Edward hadn't actually
been hanging out with a murderer for weeks now.

Doubt was a sneaky little bastard when he wanted to be.

Entering into the bedroom, I saw Edward staring at the television screen, his face
tense and the attempt at being relaxed failing miserably.

"Hey," I called and stepped in front of the screen, waiting for his eyes to fall on
me and adjust. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head and adjusted himself under the comforter.

"Don't lie, I can tell," I whispered and moved forward to stand at the end of the
bed.

"I'm worried."

The words from his mouth felt like a punch to my gut. "Why are you worried?
Don't you trust that I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that
nothing happens to Rose?"

Edward let out a sad chuckle. "I know you're doing your best to make sure that
Rose is going to be safe."

"Then what?"

"Then…I don't know." He leaned back onto the pillow and looked up at the ceiling.
I wasn't going to have any of that.

Crawling up onto the covers, I straddled his lap and let my wet hair hang as I
leaned over his face. Cold droplets began to fall onto his cheeks, but he didn't
really seem to mind. Instead his eyes were worried; boring a hole into mine.

"Tell me," I whispered, leaning my hands onto his chest for support.

His hands covered mine, thumbs worrying over my knuckles and grazing the
tendons. "It would kill me if something happened to you."

My smile belied the butterflies in my belly. "Now who's being the pessimist here?"

"I am."

"I know. It's refreshing."

"You're not helping the situation."

I raised an eyebrow, giving my best bitchface. "Oh…well I can certainly try and
help any situation you may be referring to…" Wiggling a little on his lap, I bit my
lip coyly, hoping that some sort of distraction would alleviate his fears.

He fought against the smile that was threatening to surface as his mouth
twitched and he clenched his jaw to hold it at bay. "Not what I was talking
about."

"No?" I wiggled harder and made a surprised face when my towel fell open,
sliding down my ribs and pooling at my hips. "Goodness," I joked. "I seem to
have lost my towel."

Faster than I thought possible, he had me on my back, pressed onto the bed as
he leaned over me, the blanket tangled between our bodies as he pulled the
wayward towel away from me with a jerk. The smile was in full force now and I
silently patted myself on the back for getting it there again.

He really was magnificent when he was happy.

But something else clouded his eyes and I waited, running my fingers through his
hair and silently chanting for him to open up to me as we faced one another in
the light of my bedside lamp and the blue hue of the television.

And I would remember that moment for the rest of my life.

My hair, soaking into the comforter.

The feel of his hair between my fingers.

The pained look in his eyes as he dropped his face closer to kiss me softly.
Gently.

The sounds of To Catch a Predator in the background.

A hitch in his voice as he steadied his nerves and parted his lips to whisper, "I
would die if you got hurt, Bella."

"I won't."

"I will kill anyone that hurts you."

"No one is going to…"

His chest expanded as he took a long, deep breath. "I love you…" he said it with
such sincerity. Not confident, but I shouldn't have expected him to be. It wasn't a
question, or a fact. It wasn't an answer to any inquiry I had provoked. It wasn't a
man making a statement so that he could get laid.

And in response, a whole new set of butterflies settled into my stomach and
fluttered into my chest, making it hard to breathe.

It wasn't because he was ridiculously handsome.

It wasn't about the size of his package.

It was the size of his heart. And the size of his love that he had inside of that
heart. For me. Because I knew as soon as he said it, he meant it. With every fiber
of his being, Edward Masen loved me.

He wanted me to be safe. He wanted to protect me…mostly from myself. And
now that I could see the truth in his eyes, it made me nervous. Because for once
in my life, I loved someone else enough that I would walk away from the stupid
situations that I constantly put myself in for my job. My success. My future.

In that instant, my heart flipped in my chest and I saw the white picket fences. I
saw the babies. I envisioned the vacations on the beach and being buried in sand
up to my neck by tiny hands with little shovels and a bright red Edward from
being burnt in the sun.

I saw puppies and apple pies…flying kites in parks on sunny days.

I saw all of those things, and I suddenly realized what I was doing by putting
myself in danger: I was hurting Edward. My Wang. The thought alone made me
cringe.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, running my hands deeper into his hair.

He blinked rapidly and looked away. "No, it's okay. You don't have to say it back.
I just wanted you to know…"

I sat up quickly, narrowly avoiding hitting him in the face with my forehead. "No!"

Edward startled and rolled off of me to avoid being hurt. "Really. It's not a big
deal."

My brain was about five seconds behind my mouth and I struggled to find the
words I was so desperately trying to say. "I'm not sorry that you said that you
love me, you moron." Clapping my fingers over my face, I winced and internally
kicked my own ass for being so stupid. After a moment of breathing through my
nose, I let my hands fall to my lap and opened my eyes to take Edward in.

A bemused expression rested on his face and I couldn't help the strange sigh that
escaped my lips. It was half laugh and half exasperated sob at my own idiocy.
Crawling back into his lap, the towel long forgotten and all noise fading into the
background, I held his face in mine.

"I'm sorry that I've made you worry."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'. Why would you think I wouldn't say it back?"

His eyes widened and he chuckled. "Well, you haven't yet…"

And it was exactly how I envisioned that it would be. Messed up and laced with
word vomit. Stupid things coming from my mouth as he declared his love for me.
But instead of straightening my shoulders and giving a camera ready smile; or
repeating words that I had read a million times as if they were being fed across a
teleprompter, I closed my eyes and felt the freedom of saying what I absolutely
felt inside of my heart. From the top of my head all the way down to the tips of
my toes.

"I love you, Edward."

Our mouths collided and I melted into him, feeling weightless and full at the
same time. We were a mess, he and I. But it was a beautiful mess. And I hoped
above all hope that I wouldn't do anything to screw up what we had, because I
hadn't found it before him and I certainly had no intention of ever trying to find it
again.

Chapter 15: Either Way it Starts With 'A'

BPOV

Eric had us all in place. It was so cliché, but we were actually half a block away
from the alley where Rose had been hanging out throughout the week. In a van.

"I wanna be on you…"

I rolled my eyes and turned to sigh loudly at Emmett. "Why are you watching
Anchorman?"

"To pass the time," he mumbled and shifted uncomfortably to lean against the
back window, adjusting his iPhone on his lap. "Trust that I'd rather be hiding in a
garbage can waiting for Laurent to get within an inch of Rose, but instead I'm in
here with you." His eyes lifted to my face in irritation. "So hand me another donut
and refill my coffee, why don'tcha?"

I flipped him off and turned back around to fold my arms over my chest. Edward
was leaning up into the front of the van to speak with Eric. They were watching
for any signs of movement and discussing the cameras and other undercover
sound equipment that had been placed around the alley where Rose was
currently leaning against a broken lamp post in all of her hooker glory.

White patent leather calf boots.

Ripped flesh colored fishnet stockings.

The tightest and shortest hot pink dress I had ever seen in my life.

And her corn silk hair held onto the side of her head in two school-girl type
braids.

She was Pollyanna the Whore.

Emmett had muttered more than one expletive that rhymed with 'duck' when
she'd originally stepped out of the changing room. But Eric had smiled at her in
that impish way of his and told her that she looked great.

It led me to wonder if he liked call girls or just had a crush on Rose.

We'd gone over and over the plan. Eric had prepped her for what would happen if
Laurent actually approached her this evening. He'd even gone through a few
defense moves to help her fend him off if he got too close for her liking. It wasn't
like we actually wanted him to be able to strangle her, after all. We wanted to
bait him and in and let him get close enough so that he would be attempting the
act and not succeed.

You say entrapment…I say shut the hell up.

After much debate, we had decided to let James work the sting operation with us.
He was in another van parked discreetly two blocks over, manning the cameras
and footage. Victoria had obviously felt the need to tag along and I felt a full body
shudder rock my body wondering what kind of auto detailing they were going to
have to do after the two of them left the van.

There was no doubt that some bodily fluids and cannabis buds would be found in
the seats.

Edward shifted back next to me in the seat and ran a nervous hand through his
hair. "I don't see any sign of him. I'm starting to think that he's not going to
show up. Like he can smell us or something…" His knee was bouncing up and
down and he looked beyond agitated.

"Fine by me. I'd rather take my girlfriend home and screw her into a coma,"
Emmett said as loud as he possibly could without shattering the windows.

"Nice territory piss," I snorted and leaned back to give him another dirty look.
"What the hell?" My eyes slammed shut and I turned back around abruptly at the
sight of him yanking his pant snake out of his zipper and resting it on the lid of
his coffee cup.

"What? I gotta take a piss. Want me to get out of the van?"

I gagged and pressed my lips together, holding my nose as the scent of piss and
coffee filled the air. He made an exaggerated 'aaahhhh' sound before thwacking
his junk against the lid of the cup and letting out a fart.

Edward stared at me with his mouth agape. "I can't even…just…what…"

Emmett's unwashed hand clamped down on Edward's shoulder and he leaned
over the back of our seat to smile like an idiot between our faces. "You need to
relax, Edward. Office Yorkie says he has all of this under control." The tone of his
voice was just the tiniest bit condescending.

Eric turned to eye Emmett warily. "You're more than welcome to sit with James in
his van."

"Nah. I took an Ativan. I'm fine right here." I heard him digging in his pocket and
he held out a small round pill in his palm. "Need one?"

Edward didn't even blink. He grabbed the pill and popped it into his mouth,
swallowing it dry. I watched in amazement as he silently turned his attention
back to the window so that he could continue his interrupted focus on Hooker
Gate 2010.

8=================================================
===========================D

Less than thirty minutes later, Eric suddenly sat up a little straighter in his seat,
peering through the fogged up window and opening his phone quickly to make a
call. "Target is making approach."

Every last hair on my body stood at attention and my heart flew to my throat.
Eyes wide, I slipped my hand onto Edward's knee and squeezed. "This is it."

He turned to address me slowly, his head seeming to move at half of the speed it
usually would. Blinking a couple of times, he squinted his eyes and focused on
me. "Huh?"

"Laurent. Eric thinks he's here," I started before I noticed how big his pupils
were.

Edward frowned. Lifting his hand he swatted at the air next to my face. "You have
birds."

"What?"

He leaned in closer, wobbling a bit as his hand swatted out again. "You don't see
those birds, Muff?" His face was incredulous. "They're on your…face." And with
that he palmed my forehead, shifting me back against the seat with the kind of
strength I always pictured that Lenny had in Of Mice and Men.

"Oh, shit," I breathed as Edward crawled into my lap, letting his face hover
dangerously close to mine. "Tweet tweet little birdies," he sing-songed as his
eyes roamed my face in a lazy trail.

"What the hell is he doing?" Eric whispered frantically, trying to stay focused on
Rose and being distracted by Edward suddenly mounting me in the middle seat of
the van.

But I couldn't answer because Edward was…licking my face.

Emmett shoved his way over the two of us, crushing me even deeper into the
seat in the process. "That doesn't look like Laurent. That dude is wearing a suit."

Eric nodded emphatically. "I know. But it's definitely him."

Over Edward's labored breathing I could faintly hear the audio of Rose as she
spoke with Laurent. It was definitely his voice. Definitely the same tone and
quality, but he sounded much more polished and refined than he did on any of
the videos I had watched or even when I had met him in person.

Struggling under Edward's weight, I slipped my phone out of my pocket and, as
gently as possible…kneed him in the gut to get him off of me.

He folded in half and slid to the floorboard as I sat up and took a much needed
breath. Pushing my hair back from my face, I frantically made a phone call to
Riley. He answered almost immediately and I whispered that I needed him to
verify whether or not we had missed that the person we were looking for was a
businessman.

Edward crawled back up onto the seat and pulled my phone from my face, staring
blankly at the screen as the blue light shone in his face. "I don't like this game,"
he huffed, running his long fingers sloppily over my keys.

"It's not a game…"

"Is too. See the way it's all 3-D and shit? Ugh…" He squinted into the screen.

"What the hell did you give him?" I hissed at Emmett.

He didn't even turn around to look at me. "Ativan."

"Ativan doesn't make you act like a crack head," I ground out between my teeth.

Suddenly Emmett turned to face me, the color instantly draining from his face.
"Oh…shit." Digging into his pocket he pulled out another pill. "Nope. That was an
Ambien. My bad, dude."

"Ambien?" I clapped my hand over my mouth as the pitch of my voice grew
louder. "You asshat! Ambien? Why would you even carry that in your pocket?"

Emmett shrugged. "I take one when I spend the night with Rose." He smirked in
Eric's direction. "Ativan. Ambien. Either way it starts with 'A'."

And that's about the time everything got completely out of hand.

"I wanna motorboat your knockers," Edward slurred and grabbed a palm full of
my right breast.

"Not now," I mumbled, pissed off at Emmett for making Wang so incredibly idiotic
during a time when he needed to be alert. But he ignored me and pressed his
face between my boobs and tried to do that 'pbbt' with his lips, except they were
dry from the Ambien and instead he made a fart sound on my skin. Which made
him laugh like a five year old.

And that made Emmett laugh like a five year old.

Which somehow made both of them have to pee and before I could grab onto the
back of Edward's shirt, he was throwing the van doors open and shouting about
how everyone needed to make room for his Dongzilla because he was going to
relieve himself and that everyone should just stay calm and not look at it.

His voice carried up the alleyway and as I scrambled out of the van, I saw Rose
being shoved against the side of the building, her arms flailing as the
unmistakable thick dread locks of Laurent twirled into the air and he pulled her
into the darkness of the passage.

So, Edward was pissing to my right and Rose was being abducted to my left and
suddenly Emmett was leaping from the van but Eric was faster and they were
tearing after Rose. The panic in my chest hit an all time high as I debated on
whether or not to hog tie Edward and lock him in the van for his own well being.

But I didn't even have time to react before red and blue flashing lights were
tearing down the street and half a dozen officers jumped from their respective
cruisers, guns pointed and screaming for Laurent to let Rose go.

Everything happened so fast, not like in the movies when they show the slow
motion shot of the bad guy dropping his gun and landing on his knees. It was as
if little flashes of…everything…were popping off around me.

Sirens and lights.

Screaming and the unmistakable sound of someone getting the shit beat out of
them.

I saw a cloud of smoke in the distance and saw James running at us, his eyes
wide as Victoria lagged behind and they stared in dumbfounded disbelief, passing
a water bottle between each other, as we witnessed Laurent being hefted towards
the police cars, his wrists handcuffed behind his back and his head tucked into his
chest.

Rose being carried out of the alley by Emmett who was cradling her to his chest
protectively.

Eric gripping Laurent's arm and seeming to spit harsh words into his ear as he
dragged him to an awaiting cruiser.

And…Edward. Edward stumbling forward, weaving from side to side as he
attempted to approach Laurent. I broke into a run to try and catch up with him,
listening as he yelled unintelligible things to the man being carted off.

"Stop!" An officer screamed as Edward approached and Eric yelled back to let him
through. I half expected that Edward would attempt to try and take Laurent's
face off like it was a mask, and for the fake-vagabond to say that he could have
gotten away with it if it weren't for us meddling kids.

Instead, he tripped a little on his feet and stopped directly in front of the man he
had spent so much time with, gazing at him with glazed eyes and a forlorn
expression.

"You're a bad man," my sweet, hallucinating, barely lucid Wang said. And I could
see a tiny fragment of what he might have looked like as a child.

We were going to make severely beautiful babies one day.

"Never said I wasn't," Laurent replied, looking…partially relieved. It was as if he
could finally breathe. "That's why I let you follow me. I thought I could stop, but
it never stops, Edward. It never stops."

Eric gave me a sympathetic look and nodded silently for me to take Edward back
to the van. But as we turned towards the vehicle we had all abandoned so
quickly, I saw it speeding away. Emmett's hulking form was tearing away from
the scene, his only concern being that of taking care of Rose. Because that man
truly, truly loved her.

He saved her life.

He swept her away to care for her and make sure that she was okay.

And while I knew that Laurent hadn't been able to really lay a harmful hand on
her, I was concerned.

Of course, not as concerned as I was for Edward at the moment. He leaned into
me and sighed heavily. "I wanted to drive home…"

"No way," I half laughed and half sobbed, the enormity of the situation suddenly
hitting me full force.

We'd done it.

We'd.

Done.

It.

My eyes tried to focus on the street in front of me when I first heard the news
vans screeching to a halt on the other side of the embankment, anchors and
cameramen spilling from every vehicle, scrambling for a good place to report
from.

And I barely had time to register the names of the stations as I felt Eric rush up
behind us and usher us to a running cop car, shooing us to get into the back seat
together.

It was surreal, but I didn't have the need to jump out of the car and get the
story. I knew it already. I'd lived it in that moment.

And it hit too close to home.

In my periphery I could see Carlisle setting up in his chosen spot and I heard him
directing his cameraman with an excited voice, thinking he'd gotten the story of
the year. I covered my face and tried to shrink into myself, becoming invisible in
the backseat of the car as Edward sat beside me and looked at the overhead light
in confusion.

He pressed it, over and over and over trying to get it to turn off. And he slurred
the entire time. I crossed my legs and realigned my hands over my face as I tried
to figure out how everything had gotten out of hand so very fast.

"Edward," I muttered from beneath my hand. "Please stop trying to turn the light
off while the car door is open. It won't work that way…"

Officer Yorkie slid into the front seat, slamming the door shut and rocking the
cruiser back and forth.

The overhead light dimmed and faded, finally cloaking us in blackness. Edward
sighed in satisfaction. "You jus' gotta push push push it 'til it stops, mmkay?"

I cringed and pressed my palm to my forehead more forcefully as the camera
lights blazed outside of the car window. And the last voice I heard was Carlisle's
as he delivered the news to the waiting audience of the Eleven O'clock News.

Taking Edward's hand in mine, I pulled him closer and shifted to let him lay his
head down in my lap. He snuggled his face closer to my thighs and sighed happily
as I ran my fingers through his hair. The silence in the car was thick and wrapped
itself around me as I watched the road back to my apartment come into view.
The darkness did nothing to help the new epiphany I'd experienced in my soul
that evening.

"She'll be okay, right?"

Eric's eyes met mine in the rearview. "She elbowed him in the throat. He'd barely
had time to pull the rope on her. She'll be fine, Bella. Rose is tough."

He was right. Rose was tough. And so was I, but in a completely different way.
Where she was actually tough, I was just…thick. Thick headed. Stubborn. One
track minded.

Chancing a glance down at the man drooling onto my jeans in my lap, I took an
immense breath, filling my lungs with the sweet night air. With his scent. With
the cold hard truth.

I couldn't have it all.

I couldn't be dedicated to my job and to Edward. If I stayed in my position I
would be constantly jockeying for the next big story. I would put myself in danger
without a thought. I would put my needs before others again and again.

And if I planned on being with him forever…and having that crazy ass family of
little mini Edwards, who would probably share their father's affliction of having a
third leg, along with the white picket fence and shoe shitting puppies, then I
couldn't do this anymore.

The realization didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would. And though tears fell
from my eyes under scattered city lights as we whizzed through the city, I
couldn't feel heaviness in my heart. There was no sadness. There was
just…freedom.

Carlisle Cullen could have it. He could have the Lead Anchor position. His wife
Esme could worry endlessly about where he was and if he was going to be in
danger. His son Teddy would miss out on spending ample time with his father
while Carlisle chased the next serial killer that began to terrorize our fair city.

I just wanted …this.

Looking down at Edward's profile in the darkness of the car, I smiled. A real,
honest to goodness smile. And no one was watching.

It was kind of a big deal.

Chapter 16: A Bajillion Little Pieces

EPOV

I took my glasses off and rubbed my thumb and forefinger over the bridge of my
nose, massaging there while I took a moment to gather my thoughts. Placing my
glasses on the small stand that I was leaning on, I opened my eyes to address
the room again.

"Laurent later tried to retract his statements made to the police the night he was
captured. It became increasingly clear that he suffered from some sort of
antisocial personality disorder. And he was both in control of his actions and not
at the same time. His 'need' to punish these women came from his hatred of his
own step-mother, Irina.

"She'd abused him for years and was murdered when he was teenager. Laurent
felt that he'd never been given the satisfaction of killing her himself. He'd wanted
to watch her die. But it never really seemed to be enough for him.

"He'd started slowly, after he'd finally gotten up the courage to attempt his first
kill. But his status and family name in Alaska made it difficult for him to do
anything without notice. And he said that women were too easy there." I stopped
and blinked out into the crowd.

"It's why he became a vagabond. Taking all of the money he had, he staged a
robbery and made it look like he was killed in a car crash. Then he went out into
the darkness and began trying to silence the voices in his head." I shrugged,
attempting to look solemn instead of jittery. "It failed. Time and time again he

would see Irina in one of his victims; they always looked the same. They were tall
and blonde and good looking. And since Irina was a prostitute when Laurent's
father began to see her, and turned into a trophy wife afterwards, Laurent had no
qualms about killing any of them. They were all the same in his eyes.

"Eventually, he did confess to over thirty murders, spanning from Alaska, through
Canada and finally into Seattle. He found that being invisible in the U.S. meant
being homeless." There was a quiet tittering in the room as I let that sentence
sink in. "He wasn't, though. And that's how he lured his targets. He would live
under the radar during the day and dress nicely to rent a hotel room like a
businessman travelling through the area. He would approach the victim, in his
suit and tie, looking harmless and yet being the world's most dangerous predator.

"Hookers were easy. Business women walking at night seemed to think he was
being helpful if he asked to help them to their car. And he knew eventually he
would get caught. He was becoming sloppy and careless."

A hand rose in the audience and I cleared my throat to address them. "Yes?"

"Do you feel responsible for the increasing number of deaths during the time that
you filmed Laurent?"

My head tilted as I thought it over. "One part of me does. And the other part
knows that if we weren't there that night, more would have died."

There was a choked giggle from the front row and I made eye contact with the
offender. She shifted a little in her seat and pressed her pen top between her
teeth, biting it lightly as she blushed up at me.

"Did you have a question? Something you'd like to add?" I squinted my eyes in
what I hoped was a challenging manner.

She straightened her shoulders and adjusted her open notebook in her lap, pages
covered in notes. Glancing down quickly, she looked pensive. "I do have a
question. After seeing your documentary, it is obvious that you care deeply about
your subject matter."

"Both my partner and I do care, very much." I smiled at her and she smirked.

"Is that why you were sleepwalking through the bust?"

There was a pause as the air in the room went still and you could actually hear
people shift in their seats to look at the two of us squaring off.

My right eyebrow lifted as I fought back the smile that was making my cheek
twitch. "Do you have some sort of insider information, Miss…?"

She grinned back, her cheeks now a full bloom of pink. "You could say that."
Clearing her throat she tapped her pen against her laminated credentials. "I get
paid to dig up dirt." Seattle Secrets danced daintily across the name tag and she
blinked her eyes in what I imagined was supposed to a flirtatious manner.

Pursing my lips I gave her a half smile. "No dirt to dig up here. It's all in the
footage." Turning back to the audience, I waved my hand in her direction. "Please
excuse my fiancé. She's new at this and can't stop being a news reporter instead
of an investigative journalist."

The room erupted in laughter and I turned one last time to see Bella smiling
widely as she scribbled down more notes and shook her head in obvious

embarrassment. Her lower lip rested between her teeth as she lifted her head
again, laughing along with everyone else.

After the Q & A, James and I stayed in the theater to talk to a few other reporters
and some distribution companies about our documentary. Sundance was the next
step for us before we could find wide release and from the reception we had
received after the showing, things were definitely looking up.

8================================================D
~~~~~~~~~~

BPOV

I settled into the bathtub of our suite, feeling pretty damn good about the way
that things had happened after that fateful night with Laurent.

Inevitably, it was life changing for everyone involved. Even James and Victoria
seemed to be smoking up less and less over time.

I'd made my decision that night in the police car ride back to my apartment. If I
wanted to stay in my profession and make a name for myself, it would have to be
in another way. Chasing the next big story like that had been much more eye
opening than I thought it would be. I had dreams and there wasn't any part of
me that wanted to let those go.

But I also knew without a shadow of a doubt, that Edward was the only man I
wanted for the rest of my life.

So, what was I supposed to do?

The following week I walked into work and met with Rose, checking in on her for
the ten thousandth time in the space of a few days. And she seemed to be okay.
Like really, really okay. Maybe some women would have become hardened and
angry, but it wasn't like that for her. She became just a tad bit softer.

Emmett became more attentive and the two of them were quickly becoming
glued at the hip. It was like, once he'd saved her, he knew exactly how much she
meant to him. He saw what a treasure she was and he didn't intend to let her go.

Which was why it came as no surprise that, by the end of the week, he was in the
middle of one of his sportscasts, and he got all jittery, spilling his coffee in his
lap. And when he leapt up to pull the burning hot liquid soaked fabric away from
his thighs, he shook his pants out and a gorgeous platinum band with a massive
diamond flew out of his pocket.

It was slow motion as all of us turned in our seats and watched it soar through
the air, catching prisms and shining sparkles across the soundstage. Edward had
moved the camera to run after it as it was looking like it could go wayward at any
moment, and Emmett propelled himself off of the side of the desk in order to fly
through the air for it. They collided somewhere in the middle, a huge smack of
man meat slapping together as they grunted and rolled to the floor.

Emmett sat up, gasping for air, victorious as he held the ring above his head.
Edward rolled, laughing and flipped him off as he stood and then dropped his
hands, crossing them at his wrists to assist Emmett in getting up off of the floor.

But Emmett only pushed up onto one knee. And stared at Rose. Then, without
more than a simple, "Rose, baby?" She was flying towards him, her arms open
and clipboard of paper flying wildly up into the air as they embraced.

I turned excitedly to smile at Jasper and noticed Carlisle looking a bit put out.
Turning towards Camera 2, he made a hand motion. "Randy, start the prompter."

And without congratulations to Rose and Emmett, Carlisle began to report the
days' news. Just like that. As if nothing newsworthy was going on right in front of
our faces. I stared at him in disbelief as he finished up his piece and then turned
to nod to me in an effort to get me to follow his lead.

Instead, I looked him in the face and snorted. Loudly. Like a pig.

"I'm out," I said with a smile. Shifting back from the anchor chair, I rolled it
backwards and spun around in it once before jumping off of it and letting it
careen towards Jasper, hitting the green screen before it stopped.

Taking my lapel mic off, I held it out in front of my face and stared out towards
the cameras. "Seattle. You're my city. My life. I love every last wet inch of you.
Every tight tunnel. Every orifice." My eyes grew wide. "Office. Shit. Every office
and building and … I just want to know more about you, Seattle. More than what
we get told. Aren't you tired of being told what we tell you? Don't you want to
know more?" I smiled. "I do. I want to know everything about you."

Rose's features were slack as she watched me rant on live TV.

"You have secrets, Seattle. I wanna know them. Good news and dirty little behind
the scenes shit. That's what I want to see."

I'd turned to leave but before I did, I pivoted towards Carlisle and yanked out the
useless little Burger King crown that Emmett kept under his news desk.

"You win," I had whispered, placing the bent cardboard on his head.

Once news got out about my involvement in Laurent's case, I was swarmed with
offers. It was actually a bit too much at first, but once I knew exactly what I
didn't want, it made it easier to narrow down what I did want.

I wanted Edward.

I wanted a future with him.

I wanted to still be able to work, but have it be scheduled and there would be no
competition over our stories because we would be looking deeper and focusing
more on things that the news only gave five second blurbs to.

From entertainment gossip reports in the city to following up on leads to help
police and other news channels get the information that they needed. It was a
little bit of everything, but I would call the shots. I would work to get the truth
out to people in the only way I knew how.

So, a show had been developed that kind of merged 48 Hours and Entertainment
Tonight together. And I enforced a set schedule while I had other people burning
the midnight oil to get me stories to report. From behind my own mahogany
desk. With my fancy hair extensions and heels that were too tall and dresses that
I only got to wear once because that designer wanted to be seen with me in it.

So, I had become the Mary Hart and Maureen Maher hybrid of Seattle television.

And I had never been happier.

"You're going to prune," Edward's soft voice called from where he was leaning in
through the bathroom door.

I opened my eyes and smiled widely at him as I shifted up a little in the tub. "It's
still warm. Wanna join me?"

Like he'd say no. Pfft.

He was naked in less time than it took for me to make room for him amidst the
bubbles. Edward sank into the water and sighed satisfactorily as it sloshed out
over the side of the tub. His knees poked above the waterline and I giggled,
pulling on the back of his legs to pull them as straight as I could. He rested his
head on the back of the tub and closed his eyes and my stomach flip flopped for
the millionandtwentieth time.

He never knew how great he was. Ever. And I think that's what made me love
him even more.

"We got a deal," he murmured up towards the ceiling.

"Yeah?" I asked quietly, waiting for it to sink in for him. Taking one of his long
feet in my hands, I began to knead his arch slowly.

"Yeah," he sighed.

It had been a long year, but it was paying off beautifully.

"So I'm going to marry a famous documentarian, huh?"

He lifted his face and grimaced. "No. Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you
about that."

I stopped rubbing his foot and narrowed my eyes.

Edward gave that smirk of his and sighed. "I'm too good for you now."

My thumb instantly dug into his foot. He yelped and yanked his foot away. "Are
you? Better than me, cameraman? You sure?" I raised my eyebrows. "I guess I
could always call up that Jenks guy. I bet he'd like your secondhand Muff."
Pursing my lips, I went in for the kill. "Plus, he's got his own show on MTV."

Edward lunged at me in the water and I tried to scramble away, but he caught
me, suds flying into the air and more water escaping in a wave over the side of
the tub. He wrapped his arms around my ribs and settled me into his lap, holding
his mouth an inch from my ear.

"Jenks, huh?"

I nodded in defiance. "Or that guy from Catfish? Clearly he's hard up for love if he
believed that shit about the girl on the internet." Pulsing my ass into his lap, I
stifled a moan. "Speaking of hard…up…"

His arms relaxed a little as the weight of his erection throbbed against my back
and slid higher.

Holy shit. It was totally like those little toys we used to get as kids. The ones you
put in water and they grew a thousand times the original size?

Edward grunted a little as I slid my ass cheeks up to cradle his girth and settle
back down.

"Hmm, what other documentarian hotties could I call since mine just threw me to
the curb?"

He pretended to think. "I may have Michael Moore's number…"

"Aww, dammit, Wang! Why did you say that? You know that's a mood killer. How
do you even still have a boner?" I slapped my hand on the top of the water with
agitation.

Edward chuckled and moved his face to the side of mine, lifting his warm, wet
hand to gently scoop a pile of bubbles from my nose. "I still have a … boner
…because my hot as hell fiancé is sitting in my lap. Wet. Naked." His lips touched
my jaw gently. "She smells like fruity girly stuff. And," his open palm trailed
upwards across one of my buoying boobs, "she has this awesome rack that really
needs proper attention at the moment."

I sighed and bit my lip as he began to play his thumb across the extended nub
while trailing slow, soft kisses over my neck and shoulder. Slipping a hand up to
his neck and into his hair, I anchored myself as his other hand descended the
opposite direction to delve between my thighs.

Legs automatically fell open.

Back arched.

Butt rose up higher.

That is what this man's touch did to me. He was my Gepetto.

Ew, no. No.

He was sexier.

He was... Whatever.

He was rubbing my clit.

Bracing my unoccupied hand on his thigh, I gasped and felt my legs stiffen up as
he breathed heavily into my ear and teased along my now aching sex. All
laughter and joking subsided as we melted into each other, breathing long, deep
breaths as he continued to dance around my sweet spot.

"You know," he whispered as his middle finger hovered above my clit, "I would
never be done with you."

I nodded and watched his hand below the bubbly bathwater as he finally slipped
one finger inside of me with precision. "Oh, I know that." I tilted my face to
capture his lips with my own. "Because it's the same for me."

Reaching into the water for my hand on his thigh, he lifted it up into the air and
towards his face so that he could kiss my ring finger as he continued to tease me
below. And his touch was perfection, but the look of contented love in his eyes
was what undid me. It was the same look he'd had in his eyes the night he
proposed.

Just us.

We'd sat on our bed and he'd pulled it from his pocket and simply said that I was
it for him. And for once in my life, I simply shut up and said yes.

I shifted my weight off of him and he released his grip on me as I turned towards
him in the water, maneuvering myself until I was straddling his lap. His knees
cradled my back and the sides of the tub anchored my legs as I sank down slowly

onto his awaiting cock. Our bodies knew one another. There was just us, sloshing
in the water, bubbles poufing into the air as I settled, encasing him inside of me.

Face to face.

Foreheads touching.

I kissed his lips and wrapped his hair around my fingers as I looked him in the
eye. Mouth slack. Pupils dilated. He shuddered and assisted me with his hands
under my ass. Slow. Steady.

We connected every damn time. Whether it was hot and needy or soft and
sensual, it was inherently us.

Sliding up again, I rolled my hips a little on the way down and he gasped.
Apparently watching porn could teach me a few new tricks that my man liked. His
fingers dug into my cheeks with a tenacious pain and I whimpered, pulling his
face to mine for a deep kiss.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered against his damp skin. And he said it back to
me again and again as I rode him slowly. The space between us was nil and it
was so intimate, every last part of me that needed to touch him did.

The water allowed me to slide against him more fervently, my clit rubbing against
his pelvis as my breasts trailed up and down. I never let him go. He never
loosened his grip.

And as I opened my eyes to look into his before my entire body lit on fire, I
looked head on into my forever.

It was good.

It was going to be very, very good.

Chapter 17: Epilogue - Apples Fall From Trees

BPOV

I checked my watch one last time and huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.
He was going to be late.

A hushed apology could be heard from my right and I glared at him as he came
down the aisle. Sitting down next to me, he pulled a ridiculously expensive
camera from its bag and began to pull out a new lens.

"You almost missed it," I hissed.

He shrugged and attached the lens to the camera. "Leah got out of the fence. I
had to chase her half a block and fight off the Dwyer's dog because he was
humping her." Edward smiled a dashing grin. "But I'm here now."

Leah. That damn Adidas shitting, Manolo eating bitch. I should shave her out of
spite.

The lights in the auditorium dimmed and I snuck my hand over the armrest to
take hold of Edward's. He smiled and let our fingers link as the small blue curtain
pulled back to reveal our son on stage, dressed as a pilgrim.

The other children were dressed as Indians and pilgrims, turkeys and trees. The
Thanksgiving production at his school was a really big deal, and Garrett was so
excited to play the main character. I'd even made his costume and everything.
Domesticity came much more easily than I had anticipated.

The children all stood in their places, looking at Garret as he turned to face the
audience. As he finally planted his feet and raised his head to speak his first lines,
I watched in horror as his eyes grew three times bigger than usual.

Silence filled the room and I could hear his teacher whispering offstage, trying to
prompt him for his first sentence.

And when he opened his mouth, I beamed with pride. He was totally my child.

Garrett's mouth opened wide and he lifted his hands in defeat. "Shit! I forgot my
line."

Edward choked back a laugh and zoomed in on our son's face as he tried to keep
his camera steady with shaking shoulders.