JUSTABITTWISTED

(Book#1intheStraightGuysseries)

AlessandraHazard

Editor:ElizabethBalmanno

Coverby:AKEMedia

*Nightmare*

Thisstoryisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andeventsaretheproductofthe

author ’simagination.Anyresemblancetoactualevents,places,orpersonsarepurelycoincidental.

Allrightsreserved.Thisbookoranyportionthereofmaynotbereproducedorusedinany

mannerwhatsoeverwithouttheexpresswrittenpermissionoftheauthorexceptfortheuseofbrief

quotationsinabookreview.

ThisbookcontainsexplicitM/Msexandgraphiclanguage.Formatureaudiencesonly.

Chapter1

Mrs.Hawkinswasgoingtokillhim.
Shawnglancedathiswatchandgrimaced.Itwasoneinthemorningalready;hehadpromised

Mrs.Hawkinshewouldn’tcomehomelaterthanmidnight.

Bracinghimself,heopenedthedoorasquietlyashecould.Emilywasalightsleeper.
Shawnclosedthedoor,wincingwhenitcreaked.Dammit.
“Mr.Wyatt?”Mrs.Hawkinssaid,rubbinghereyesandsittinguponthecouch.
Shawnglancedatthetwins,buttheydidn’tseemtohavewokenup.Hewalkedtotheirbabysitter.

Itdidn’ttakelong:theapartmentwastiny.

Mrs.Hawkinswasfrowningdeeply,anunhappylookonherface.
“I’msorry,”Shawnsaidbeforeshecouldsayanything.“I’mreally,reallysorry.Itwon’thappen

again,Iswear.Icouldn’tgetbacksooner.Itwasaslownight,andIdidn’tgetalotoftips.Ididn’t
haveenoughmoneytopayyouforthisweek,soIendedupstayinguntilIdid.”

Mrs.Hawkins’slipspursed.Shesighed.“Mr.Wyatt—Shawn.Iunderstandyoursituation—it’s

theonlyreasonI’mstillhere—butyoumustunderstandmine,aswell.Ihaveafamily,too,butIspend
uptofifteenhoursadayhere,lookingaftertwoenergeticfour-year-olds.Youdon’tpaymeenough
forthat.”

“I’llfindanotherjob,”Shawnsaidquickly,tryingtosquashdownthepanicrisinginhischest.

“I’llfindabetterjobandI’llpayyoumore.”

Shesighedagain,shakingherhead.“That’swhatyousaidlastmonth,Shawn.”Shelookedatthe

girls.“Iadmireyourdedication,butitcan’tgoonlikethat.You’rejusttwenty.Youdeservebetter.
Theydeservebetter,too.Whydon’tyoufindthemagoodfamily?”

“No,”hesaid,hisvoicehard.“Theyalreadyhaveafamily.Theyhaveme.”
“Theybarelyseeyou.Theyaskaboutyouallthetime.Theymissyou.”
Shawnlookeddownatthem.EmilyandBeesleptcurledintoeachother,theirchubbycheeks

almosttouching.

Alumpformedinhisthroat.“Imissthem,too.”HelookedatMrs.Hawkins.“Please.I’llfinda

solution.Itreallywon’thappenagain.”Fishinghiswalletoutofhisbackpocket,hegaveherallthe
moneyhehad.“Here,takethis.”

Sheshookherheadbutacceptedthemoney.“ThinkaboutwhatIsaid,Shawn,”shesaidbefore

takingherpurseandleaving.

Shawnlockedthedoorandreturnedtothebed.
Hekneltdownbesidethebed,restedhischinonthemattress,andstaredatthetwins.
Thedimlightmadetheirplatinumblondhairseemalmostgolden.Theylookedlikelittle

angels.

Shawnclosedhiseyes.God,hewassotired,butsleepwasthelastthingonhismind.Hedidn’t

needtoopenthefridgetoknowtheywereoutofgroceries:heknewhowlongittookthemtorunout.
Theywouldhavenothingtoeatthedayaftertomorrow.

Desperationclaweduphisthroat.Thencameresentmentandanger.
Shawnshookthemoff.Beingangrywithhisparentsforhavingnumerousdebts,dyingand

leavingthempennilesswasuseless.Hecouldn’taffordtowastetime.Heneededmoney.Now.

Buthow?Healreadyworkedtwojobs.
“Shawn?”
Shawnopenedhiseyes.Oneofthegirlswasnolongerasleep.Asurgeofpaniccoursedthrough

himwhenherealizedhecouldnolongertellthemapart.WasitEmilyorBee?

“Baby?”hecroakedoutthroughthelumpinhisthroat.
Thelittlegirlsatupslowly,carefulnottowakeuphersister,andShawnbreathedout.Itwas

Emily:shewasmorematureandconsideratethanBee,whowasoftenacluelessballofenergy.

Emilyreachedouttohim,andShawnliftedherintohisarms.“Hey,princess,”hewhispered,

kissingheronthetempleandbreathinginhersweetscent.

“You’rehome,”Emilysaid,wrappingherlittlehandsaroundhisneck.“Missedyou.”
“Me,too,”Shawnmurmured,strokingherback.I’msorry.“DidyouhavefunwhileIwasout?”
Emilynodded.“Weplayedalot,buttheHawkdidn’tletusgooutside!”
“Don’tcallMrs.Hawkinsthat.”Thoughhehadtosuppressasmile.“Anythingelse?”
“Abigmancameafterbreakfast.Hehadaletterforyou,buttheHawkdidn’tletustouchit.”
“Aletter,huh?”Shawngottohisfeet,cradlingEmilytohischest,andwalkedtohisdesk.“Let’s

see.”

Hepickeduptheenvelopeandreturnedtothebedsidelamp.Hesquintedatitandhisstomach

droppedwhenhesawwhoitwasfrom.

“Whatisit?”Emilyasked.
Shawnopenedtheenvelope,pulledoutthepieceofpaperinsideandstartedtoread.
“…unacceptablegrades…”“…uponfailureofimprovement…”“…scholarshipwillbe

terminatedunlessthestudentachieves…”

Thepaperdroppedfromhisfingerstothefloorandhedidn’tnotice.
“Shawn?Somethingbadhappened?”
HelookeddownatEmily’swideblueeyesandforcedoutasmile.“No,pumpkin.Everythingis

fine.”Heburiedhisfaceinherhairandclosedhiseyes.

Whenitrained,itpoured.

Chapter2

“Somethingwrong?”saidafamiliarvoicebeforeanarmwasslungaroundShawn’sshoulders.
ShawnglancedatChristian,butkeptwalking.Theirnextclasswasgoingtostartintenminutes

anditwasonehecouldn’tbelatefor.“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.Spill.”Hisfriend’sdarkbrowneyeswerefixedonhimcuriously.
Shawnshrugged.“I’mbroke.Andontopofthat,they’regoingtoterminatemyscholarshipifI

don’timprovemygradesinthreeclasses.”

Christianfrowned.“IthoughtyoualreadytalkedtoBatesandSummersandexplainedyour

situation.”

Sighing,Shawnrakedahandthroughhishair.“Yeah.Butthere’salsoFluidMechanics.”
Christiangrimaced.“Rutledge.”
“Yep,”Shawnsaidmiserably.
Theschool’syoungesttenuredprofessor,DerekRutledgehadthenickname“Professor

Asshole”forareason.Strictandharsh,hesetimpossiblyhighstandardsforstudentsanddespised
thosewhofailedtoachievethem.Hedidn’ttolerate“laziness.”AndsinceShawnmissedtoomanyof
hislecturesandoftendidn’thavetimetocompletehisassignments,hewasprobablyoneof
Rutledge’sleastfavoritestudents—ifthemanevenhadfavoritestudents.ThechancesofRutledge
cuttinghimsomeslackwerenonexistent.Rutledgedidn’tcutanyoneanyslack.Hisdemandsbordered
onridiculous,butintheboard’seyesRutledgecoulddonowrong,sincehegarneredalotof
researchgrants—like,alot.ShawnhadtogiveRutledgecredit—onedidn’tbecomesuchahighly
respectedresearcherbytheageofthirty-threeifonewasn’tincrediblyintelligent—butitdidn’t
changethefactthattheguywasatotalasshole.

“Whatareyougoingtodo?”Christiansaid.
“Noidea.”Shawnmadehiswaytotheirusualseatsatthefrontofthelecturehall:Rutledgehad

orderedhimandChristiantositthereallthetimeafterhehadcaughtthemtalkingduringhisclass.
Shawnsatdownandsighed.“WhatshouldIdo?”

“IwishIcouldhelpyou.”Christiandroppedintoaseatnexttohim.“ButyouknowI’mabit

tightonthemoney,too.”

Shawnnodded.Christianlivedathisgrandmother ’sandhelpedherashecould.Hisparents

workedinanothercountryandweren’tmuchofahelp.

“Whataboutyouraunt?”Christiansaid.“Ithoughtsheusedtohelpyououtwhenthingsgot

tough.”

Shawnpausedandgavehimalook.“Shediedlastyear,Chris.Itoldyouthat.”
Christian’sfaceflushedbrightred.“Shit,I’msorry—Idon’tknowhowI—”
Shawnshookhishead.“Forgetit.”Itwasn’tthatChristiandidn’tcare;hewasjustverysociable

andhadmorefriendsthanShawnhadacquaintances.Nowonderithadslippedoutofhismind.

“Whataboutyourcousin—Sage?”Christiansmiledsheepishly.“See,I’mnotcompletely

hopeless!Irememberhim!”

Shawnlaughed.“Youarehopeless.Hejustrecentlygotoutofprison,andheneedstosortout

hislife.Hedoesn’tneedmyproblemsontopofhisown.Anyway,Iwasn’taskingaboutmoney.I

meantProfessorRutledge.IfIdon’tgetgoodgradesinhisclass,I’lllosethescholarshipandwill
havetodropout.”ThoughsometimesShawnwonderedifitwouldbebettertodropout:ifhedidn’t
haveschooltoattend,itwouldimprovehischancesoffindingahalf-decentjob.Exceptacollege
degreewouldincreasehischancesoffindingawell-paidjobandgivingEmilyandBeeeverything
theyneededastheygrewup.

“Actually,”Christiansaidsuddenly.“I’veheardaninterestingrumoraboutRutledge.”
“Whatrumor?”
Christianglancedaround,asthoughtomakesurenoonecouldhearthem,beforeleaninginand

murmuringintoShawn’sear,“TuckersaysProfessorRutledgehasaweaknessforprettyboys.”

Shawnblinked.“Noway.Hewasjustmessingwithyou!”
“Nope,hewasdeadserious.ApparentlysomeonesawRutledgewithayoungguyalloverhim.”
Shawnchuckled,shakinghishead.“Evenifit’strue,whatdoesithavetodowithme?”
Christiangavehimapointedlook.
Shawnopenedhismouth,closedit,andthenopeneditagain.“You’vegottobekiddingme.”
Christianwiggledhiseyebrows.“TuckersaysRutledgehasathingforblonds.”
“Unluckyforyou,then.”
Smiling,Christianranahandthroughhismessybrownhair.“Pfft.IfIwantedto,itwouldn’t

matter.Butyou’vegotiteasy,blondie.Comeon,man,it’saperfectsolution!”

Shawngavehimapinchedlook.“There’satinyproblem,though.I’mstraight.”
Hisfrienddidn’tlookfazed;heactuallyhadthenervetolaugh.“Sowhat?I’mnottellingyouto

takeituptheass.Thoughitcanactuallyfeelvery,verygoodiftheotherguyknowswhathe’sdoing.”
Christiangrinned,andShawnsnorted.Christianwasbisexualandhadnoproblemadmittingit.

“Chris—”
“I’mjustsayingyoucanbeallflirtyandshitwithoutactuallydoinganythingwithhim,you

know?You’vegotthelooks.Imean—you’renotmytype,butI’mnotblind.You’rehot.Easilythe
hottestguyinschool.”

“Youaren’texactlyanuglyduckling,either.”EveryonelovedChristian.Hemightnotbe

classicallyhandsome,butpracticallyeveryonefoundhimattractive.Christianwashardtolookaway
from.Shawnmightbestraight,butevenhesometimesstoppedandstaredwhenhisfriendsmiled.

Christianwinked.“Definitelynotanuglyduckling,butIain’tasprettyasyou,princess.”
“Oh,I’llshowyou,princess!”Shawngothimintoaheadlock,bothofthemlaughing.
“Mr.Wyatt,Mr.Ashford,ifyouarequitedone?”cameacoldvoicefrombehindthem.
Shawnfrozebeforelettinggoofhisfriendandstraighteningup.Hedidn’tdarelookatRutledge

asthemanmovedpastthemtohisdesk.Thelecturehallsuddenlybecamesilent.

“Fuck,”ChristianwhisperedwhenRutledgestoppedinfrontofhisdeskandremainedsilent.
Shawnbithisliphardandstoleaglanceattheprofessor.Rutledge’sdarkeyeswerefixedon

Christian,hisdarkbrowsfurrowedandhislipspursedindispleasure.Evenwhenhewasn’tunhappy
withsomeone,ProfessorRutledge’sgazecouldmakeanyonesquirm.Whenheactuallywasunhappy,
noonewantedtobeonthereceivingendofhisheavystares.Shawnthoughthelookedlikeahawk,
readytoswoopdownandcatchitsprey.

Rutledge’seyesmovedfromChristiantohim.Ifpossible,helookedevenmoredispleasednow,

amusclepulsinginhischeek.Shawn’sstomachtightenedintoaknot.Hewethisdrylipsandtriedto
lookasrespectfulaspossible,forcinghimselftomeettheprofessor ’seyesfirmly.Hewasn’ta
coward,dammit.Rutledgewasjustaman.

Rutledge’slipsthinned.“Mr.Wyatt,”hesaidquietly.
Shawnswallowedconvulsively.TherewassomethingaboutRutledge’svoicethatmadeitmore

menacingthequieteritgot.“Yes,Professor?”

“IfyouandMr.AshfordarenotinterestedinwhatIamheretoteach,youmayleave.”
Lookingattheman’shardexpression,ShawnsuddenlyrememberedChristian’sadviceand

nearlylaughedoutloud—soridiculousitwas.

“No,sir.Imean,we’reveryinterested.”WhennotasinglemusclemovedonRutledge’sface,

Shawnadded,“Actually,Iwantedtotalktoyouafterclassaboutmygrades.”

Rutledgelookedathimforafewmomentsbeforeofferingacoolresponse,“Idon’thaveoffice

hourstoday.”Hesatdownbehindhisdeskandstartedhislecture.

Shawnlookedathimblankly,unsurewhatRutledge’sanswerwassupposedtomean.Wasthat

yesorno?Asin,“Idon’thaveofficehours,soyoumaycome”or“Idon’thaveofficehours,soyou
can’t”?

Great.Fantastic.
Shawnsighed.

Chapter3

ThedoortoProfessorRutledge’sofficewasdarkandveryshiny.
Shawnstaredatit,tryingtoignoretheuneasyfeelinginhisgut.Hispalmswerebeginningto

sweat,sohewipedthemagainsthisjeans.

Don’tberidiculous,hetoldhimself.Rutledgewasjustaman,notamonster.Theworstthingthe

guycoulddowassayno.

Hewouldjusttalktohim,explainhissituationandhopeRutledgewasn’ttheassholeeveryone

thoughthewas.

“Didyouwantsomething,Mr.Wyatt?”asmooth,lowvoicesaid.
Shawnnearlyjumped.Turningaround,hetriedtofindsomethingtosay.
“Mr.Wyatt?”Rutledgewasfrowning,acreasebetweenhiseyebrows.
“Iwantedtotalktoyou,sir.”
“It’snotanofficehour,”Rutledgesaid,unlockinghisofficeandgoinginside.
Hedidn’tswingthedoorshutbehindhim,andShawnhesitated,unsureifhewasmeanttofollow

himinside.

Rutledgesatdownbehindhismassivedeskandturnedonhiscomputer.“Idon’thaveallday,

Wyatt,”hesaidwithoutlookingathim.

Shawnenteredtheroomhurriedly.Heclosedthedoor,walkedtothedeskandstopped.He

lookedaround,buttherewasn’tmuchtolookat.

“Well?”
Shawnforcedhimselftolookattheotherman.
Rutledgewasstudyinghimwithahintofimpatience.
Shawngrippedthebackofthechairinfrontofhim.“AsIsaid,Iwantedtotalkaboutmy

grades.”

Rutledge’slipspressedintoathinline.“I’mnotcertainwhatthereistotalkabout.Idon’tgive

secondschancestostudentswhodon’tdeservethem.Youdon’tbothertoattendmostofmylectures,
thequalityofyourcourseworkisabysmal,andnowyouwantapassinggrade.Thepolicyconcerning
classattendanceisclearlystatedontheclasssyllabus;studentsshouldreadthispolicycarefullyand
shouldplanoncomplyingwithit.Frankly,I’msurprisedyou’reascholarshipstudent.Ifyou’re
worriedaboutyourscholarship,I’mafraidtheonlythingyoucandoisdroptheclass.”

“Ican’tdropyourclass—it’saco-requisiteforanotherclassI’mcurrentlytakingandIcan’t

dropbothwithoutlosingmyscholarship.SoIcan’tfailyourclassandIcan’tdropit.Ineedapassing
grade,sir.”

ThelookRutledgegavehimwasunimpressed.“Youcanblameonlyyourself,Wyatt.Youdon’t

deserveabettergrade.Yourattendance,assignments,classparticipation,andtestgradeshavebeen
belowexpectationsforthecourse.Ifyoucameheretotellmesomesobstoryandbegmeforabetter
grade,saveyourbreath.I’vehearditall:sickelderlymothers,littlechildrentolookafter,working
threejobs,andsoforth.Ifyoucan’tordon’twanttostudyandlearn,dobothofusafavor:stop
wastingourtimeanddropoutofcollege.”

Shawn’sheartsank.ApartofhimhadhopedRutledgewouldtakepityonhimifhetoldhim

abouthissituationandlethimturninhisassignmentslate.Butapparently,Rutledgedidn’tcareand
didn’twanttolistento“sobstories.”

Shawn’sjawtightened.Hisprideurgedhimtoturnaroundandleave,buthecouldn’t.He

couldn’tlosethescholarship.Hissistersdependedonhim.

Suddenly,herememberedChristian’sridiculousadvice.
…saysProfessorRutledgehasaweaknessforprettyboys…I’mjustsayingyoucanbeallflirty

andshitwithoutactuallydoinganythingwithhim…

“Mr.Wyatt?”
Shawnflinched,flushedandlookedbackattheman.
“Whatareyoustilldoinginmyoffice?You’redismissed.”
LookingatRutledge’shardexpression,Shawncouldn’tforthelifeofhimimagineflirtingwith

him.“Flirting”and“ProfessorRutledge”shouldn’tevenbementionedinthesamesentence,period.
AndShawndidn’thavemuchexperiencewithflirting,anyway:thefewgirlshe’dhadsexwithhadn’t
requiredanyseducing.Truthbetold,heusuallydidn’thavetomakeanyeffortatall.

ShawntookadeepbreathinandmetRutledge’seyes.“Sir,I…”Heswallowed.“Isthereanyway

Icangetabettergrade?I’lldoanything.Anything.”

Rutledgestaredathim.
Then,hiseyesnarrowed.
“Mr.Wyatt,”hesaidatlast.“AreyousuggestingwhatIthinkyouaresuggesting?”
Shawnswallowedagain.Washe?Hewasn’tsurehimselfwhathewassuggesting.“Um,yeah?”
Rutledge’snostrilsflared.Heleanedbackinhischairandstudiedhimintently.“Pleaseclarifyto

avoidconfusion.”

Shawnswepthisgazearoundtheroombeforelookingdownathisfeetandshrugging.His

sneakerswereworn,buthecouldn’taffordnewones.“Ithinkyouknow,sir.”

Silence.
Secondstickedby.
“Isee,”Rutledgesaid.“Lockthedoorandcomeoverhere.”
Shawn’sstomachlurched.Hislegsunsteady,hewalkedtothedoorandlockedit,allthewhile

tryingtoignorethepanickedlittlevoiceinhisheadthatwasyellingathim,Whatareyoudoing?

LookinganywherebutatRutledge,heroundedthedeskandstoppednexttohisprofessor,his

heartpoundinginhisthroat.RutledgeturnedinhischairsothathewasfacingShawnnow.Shawn
focusedhisgazeonthedarkfabricoftheprofessor ’ssuit.

“Onyourknees,”Rutledgesaidsoftly.
Droppingtohiskneeswasalmostarelief,asunsteadyashislegswere.
Rutledgetookhischinwithhisfingersandtippedhisheadup,forcingShawntomeethisgaze.
“Icanhaveyouexpelledforthis,”hesaid.
Shawn’seyeswidened.
RutledgecasthimalookofsuchloathingShawnflinched.“Ihavestudentswhonevermiss

classesandworkveryhardjusttogetaC.Andthentherearepretty,empty-headedboyslikeyouwho
thinkiftheysuckmydick,they’llgetagoodgrade.”

Shawnfelthisfaceheatup.Hearingtheword“dick”fromProfessorRutledgewasweirdashell.

Weirdanddownrightobscene.

Rutledge’sgriponShawn’schintightened.“Doyouthinkit’sfair,Wyatt?”
Shawnswallowed,butheforcedhimselftomeettheman’sgazefirmly.“Ifyou’regoingto

reportthistotheboard,rememberthatIdidn’tsayawordaboutsuckingyourdick,Professor.You
did.Ifyoureportme,I’llreportyou.”

AmuscleinRutledge’sjawtwitched.“Youlittleshit.”HisotherhandsankintoShawn’shairand

yankedhimclosertohiscrotch.“Fine.Youwantapassinggrade?Goahead.Trytoimpressme.”

Shawnsuckedabreathin.
Rutledgesmiled.Itwasn’tanicesmile.“Backingoutalready?”
“No,”Shawnsaidfirmlyandreachedfortheguy’szipper,tellinghimselfitwasjustadick.He

wouldsucktheguy’sdickandgetapassinggrade.Howdifficultcoulditpossiblybe?Itwould
probablytastedisgusting,butitwouldn’tkillhimoranything.

Right.
Slowly,heunzippedtheprofessor ’spantsandthen…thenhestopped.Nomatterwhathetold

himself,hecouldn’tmove,staring,transfixed,atthebulgeundertheman’sblackboxers.

Rutledgeletoutanirritatednoise.“AsIthought.Getout,andifyoubothermeagain—”
“No.”ShawnshovedahandintoRutledge’sboxersandgrabbedhiscock.
Abeatpassed.
Shawnwastornbetweenlaughinghystericallyandpanicking.Hehadahandonanotherguy’s

cock.ProfessorRutledge’scock.

Itwaswarminhishand.Thatwashisfirstthought.Itwasgrowingandbecomingthickerwith

everypassingsecond.Itfreakedhimoutabit,butitalsogavehimconfidence.Nomatterwhat
Rutledgesaid,hewantedhim.

Shawngaveitanexperimentalsqueezeandlookedattheguy.Rutledge’sfaceremained

impassive.Forsomereason,thatpissedShawnoff.Hesmiled.“Lookslikeyouhaveathingfor
‘pretty,empty-headedboys,’Professor.”

Rutledge’slipspressedtogether.Otherwise,helookedalmostbored.“It’sjustaphysiological

reactiontostimuliandaprettyface.Youarenotresponsibleforyourphysicalappearance,soit’s
hardlysomethingtobeproudof.Now,ifyoureallyintendtodoit,stopwastingmytime.”

Glaringathim,Shawnstrokedthecocktofullhardness,watchingasubtlechangeintheman’s

breathing.Theanglewasawkward,sohepulleditout.Itwasbigandthick—andveryclosetohis
face.Inchesaway.Shawnlickedhislipsnervously,unabletolookaway.Ithadtobeatleasteight
incheslong.

Rutledgesighed,asthoughdisgustedwithhisownbody’sreaction,andshiftedslightly.The

headofhiscockpressedagainstShawn’slips.“Suck.”

Shawninhaledcarefully.Itdidn’tsmellthatbad.Tentatively,helickedthehead.Thetastewas…

strangebutnowhereasterribleashehadexpected.Helickedagain.

Theprofessorgrunted,hishandgrippingShawn’shairtighter.“Openyourmouth.”Itwasan

order.

Shawndidastold,andthefatheadpushedinsidehismouth.Shawnsuckedgently.Apartofhis

mindwasstillstuckonthefactthathehadProfessorRutledge’sdickinhismouthandcouldn’tquite
believeit,butthewarmthandheavinessofthecockstretchinghislipswidemadeitvery,veryreal.

Rutledge’seyeswerefixedonhisfaceashepushedhiscockdeeper,hishandheavyontheback

ofShawn’shead.Shawnmethisgaze,flushed,andclosedhiseyes,determinedtojustfocusongetting
thejobdone.ThesoonerRutledgecame,thesooneritwouldbeoverandthesoonerhecouldforget
aboutit.

Butwithhiseyesclosed,hisothersensescametolifeandhecouldfeeleverythingmoreacutely.
Itwas…sostrange.Rutledgewashardandthickinhismouth,tastinglikeskinandsomething

else.Itwasstrange,butitwasn’tterrible.Shawnpulledoff,tookabreathandsuckedtheheadin
again,goingdownabitfurther,testingitout.Hehadabriefmomentofworrythathewasn’tdoing
thisright,buttoldhimselfnottobesilly:therewasnosuchthingasabadblowjob,right?

Shawnwentdownabitmore,tryingtotakeasmuchofthebigcockinashecould.Hewent

down,thenbackup,settinguparhythm,tryingtogetusedtoit.Hewasfocusingsohardonthis,

tryingtocountinhishead,thatittookhimawhilebeforeherealizedRutledgewastellinghim
something.

ShawnpulledoffthecockwithalittlepopandlookedupatRutledge,stilltastinghimallover

histongue.Heblinkedupathimandhadtosuppresstheridiculousurgetoaskifhewasdoingokay,
likeapupileagertopleasehisteacher.“What?”hesaidinstead.Asusualwhenhewasnervous,his
voicecameoutabitcocky.Hetendedtoovercompensatesometimes.

Rutledgejustlookedathimforwhatseemedlikeforever,hisdarkeyesheavy-liddedandglazed

over.Eventuallyhesaid,“Isthisyourfirstdick,Wyatt?”Rutledge’svoicewasroughandguttural,as
thoughhewastheonewho’djustspentthepastfewminuteswithadickinhismouth.

“Doesitmatter?”
Rutledge’slipstwisted.“No.Butthatexplainswhyyou’resobadatit.”
Shawnscowledandsqueezedtheguy’serection.“YourdickseemstothinkI’mdoingallright.”
Rutledgesneered.“Itjustproveshoweasywemenare.”HelookedatShawn’slips.“Goon,but

stopoverthinkingit.Youdon’tthinkinclass,butnowyouthinktoohardwhenyoushouldn’tbe
thinking.”

Shawngloweredathimbutnodded.
HegaveRutledge’sdickafewlicksbeforewrappinghislipsbackarounditanddoingwhatever

hewanted,rhythmandconcentrationbedamned.

Itwasalotmessierthisway.Hewentdownasmuchashecouldwithoutchoking,camebackup

andoff,lickingalongstripeuptheundersideofRutledge’sdickandtonguinghisslit,tastingsalty
bitterness.

Shawntriednottothinkabouthowobsceneheprobablylookedlikethis,bobbinghisheadand

drippingspiteverywhereashesuckedhisteacher ’scock.Rutledgewasgruntingandpushingdown
onhishead,sohewasclearlydoingsomethingright.Reassured,Shawnkeptsucking,workinghis
mouthfasternow,ignoringtheacheinhisjawandmovinghishandfasterallalongthepartof
Rutledge’scockhecouldn’tfitinhismouth.

“Openyoureyes,”Rutledgebitout.
Shawndidandlookedupathim.Theireyesmet,andShawnflushed,acutelyawarethathislips

werestillwrappedtightlyaroundhisprofessor ’scock.Hisprofessor ’scock.JesusfuckingChrist.

“I’mgoingtofuckyourmouthnow,”Rutledgesaid,histoneconversational,asthoughhedidn’t

havehisdickinhisstudent’smouth.“Sitbackandletmedothejob.Lookatme.”

Shawnfelthischeeksandneckredden,buthedidashewastold.Rutledgeshifted,hisstrong,

bighandscradlinghisface.HiscockslidoutofShawn’smouthuntilonlytheheadstayedinit.Shawn
lookedatRutledge.Themanlookedbackathimandthrustdeepintohismouth.Shawngasped,
fightinghisgagreflexandtryingdesperatelytobreathearoundthecock,buthestillheldhis
professor ’sgaze,asinstructed.

Rutledge’snostrilsflared,hiseyesroamingalloverShawn’sface.Hepulledoutandthrustback

in.Thenagain.Andagain.Allthewhilelookingathim.Shawnwassurehewasblushing,becauseit
feltincrediblyfilthy.Itwashisprofessor—themostfearedprofessorinschool—thatwasusinghis
mouthtogetoff.Everythingfelttoomuchandoverwhelming:thetaste,theweight,thefeelof
ProfessorRutledge’scockinhismouth,thestronghandsholdinghisfacefirmlyasRutledgethrustin
andoutofhismouth,Rutledge’sbreathbecomingmorelabored,hisdark,intenseeyesfixedon
Shawn’s—

RutledgebuckedhishipsandSamnearlychoked,butherodeitout,feelinghotcomehitthe

backofhisthroat,spurtinginquicksuccession.Coughing,heletthesofteningcockoutofhismouth.

“Swallow,”Rutledgeordered.
Shawnglaredupathimbutdidastold,albeitwithsomedifficulty.Thankfully,itdidn’ttasteas

grossashehadexpected.

Lookingdownathimthroughheavy-liddedeyes,Rutledgetookadeepbreath.Thenext

moment,hisfaceclosedoff.Heremovedhishandsandtuckedhimselfin.“Passable.”

Shawndidn’tknowwhethertolaughorpunchtheassholeintheface.Hegottohisfeet,wiped

hisswollenlipsandsaid,“Thanks,Professor.”Hisvoicewashoarseandscratchy—fromsuckinghis
professor ’scock.“So,whataboutthatgrade?”

AmusclepulsedinRutledge’scheek.Helookeddownrightpissedoff.“Dismissed,Wyatt.”
Shawnleft.
Asthedoortotheprofessor ’sofficeclosedbehindhim,Shawnbreathedout.Hecouldn’t

believehe’dactuallydoneit.Hehadsuckedanotherguy’sdick.HehadletDerekRutledge,ofall
people,fuckhismouthinexchangeforagrade.

Shawnflushedandlookedaround,suddenlyparanoidthateveryonecouldguesswhathad

happenedjustfromlookingathim.Butnoonewaspayinghimanyattention.Nooneknew.

Everythingwasfine.
Whatwasdonewasdone.Hecouldputtheincidentbehindhimandpretendithadnever

happened.

NowhecouldonlyhopeRutledgewouldkeephisendofthedeal.

Chapter4

“Relax,man,”Christiansaid,droppingintotheseatnexttohim.
“Whatdoyoumean?”Shawnsaid,glancingaroundthelecturehallbeforelookingathishands.
“You’retenseashell.Areyounervousaboutyourgrades?Didn’tyousayyoutalkedto

Rutledgeandconvincedhimtogiveyouasecondchance?”

“Yeah,Idid.Hedidn’tfailmeyet—IjustfoundouthegavemeaD.”Andgod,ithadbeensucha

relief.Shawndidn’tthinkhehadeverbeensohappytoreceiveaD.

“Congrats,”Christiansaidwithagrin,pattinghimontheback.“I’mstillamazedyoumanaged

toconvincehim.”

Shawnstudiouslyavoidedhisfriend’seyes.
“Speakofthedevil,”Christianmuttered.
Theinstanthushthatfelloverthelecturehallwasalmostamusing.Almost.
ShawnglancedatRutledge’stallformbeforedroppinghisgaze.
“Themidtermgradesarein,”Rutledgesaid,withoutpreamble.“Ireportedthegradesofthirty-

eightstudentswhosegradeswerebelowC-.ThereportsweresenttotheOfficeoftheRegistrar,
whichdistributedthemtotheindividualstudents.”Hepaused.“Ifyouhaveanyquestions,ask.”

Silence.
Someguyliftedhishand.
“Yes,Mr.Taylor?”Rutledgesaid,walkingtowardthestudent.Shawndidn’tlook;hejustsawit

inhisperipheralvision.

“Idon’tunderstand,”Taylorsaid.“IgotanF,andapparentlythat’sit!Ican’tevenimprovemy

grade?Ineveryotherclass,midtermgradesdon’taffectouroverallGPA.They’reprettymuchthere
totelluswhereweareintheclass,andwhetherornotweneedtoworkharder,butapparently,notin
yourclass.Whatthe—Idon’tgetit!”

Shawncringed.
“Poorguy,”Christianmuttered.
Therewasapause.
“Mr.Taylor,”Rutledgesaidatlast,hisvoicedangerouslysoft.“Haveyoureadthesyllabus?”
“Well,yeah,sure.”Taylorsoundedanythingbutsure.
“Ifyoureadthesyllabus,youwouldhaveknownthatinmyclassmidtermgradesdoaffectyour

finalgrades.Inotherwords,ifyoureceiveafailingmidtermgrade,youwillnotgetapassingfinal
grade.Noexceptions.”

“Butit’snotfair!”Taylorsaid.“That’snothowthingsaredone!”
“That’showthingsaredoneinmyclass.”Ifpossible,Rutledge’svoicebecameevensofter.“I

willnotpassastudentwhohadanabysmalattendancerecordforhalfofthetermandfailedtoturnin
hisassignmentsorturnedtheminlate.Ifyoureadthesyllabus,asItoldyoualltodoonthefirstday
oftheterm,youwouldnotbeinthispredicament.Youcanthankonlyyourself.Doyouhaveother
questions?Intelligentquestions?”

“No,”Taylorgrumbled.
“Nowarewedonewiththat,ordoesanyoneelsewanttowastemytimewithpointlessquestions

you’resupposedtoknowtheanswersto?”

Thesilencewasalmosteerie.Noonedaredtobreathe.
“Good.”Rutledgereturnedtohisdesk.
“Wow,”Christianwhispered,barelyaudibly.“Whatcrawleduphisassanddied?”
Probablypissedoffhecouldn’tfailme,Shawnthought.
Hisskinprickled.HelookedupandfoundRutledgegivinghimalookofsuchloathingitmade

himfeellikehewasbeingrepelledfromtheroom.Shawnliftedhischinandmethisgazefirmly.
Seriously,whatwastheguy’sproblem?Itwasn’tlikehehadforcedRutledgetoputhisdickintohis
student’smouth.

Thethought—thememory—madeShawnblushandshiftinhisseatuncomfortably.Lookingat

Rutledge’sstonyface,itwashardtobelieveithadreallyhappened.

Butithappened.
ShawnglancedatRutledge’shands—grippinghisfaceasRutledgepushedhiscockintohis

mouth—

Shawnlickedhislips,hisskinuncomfortablyhot,andfixedhisgazeinfrontofhim.
Hewouldn’tthinkofit.
Hewouldn’t.

***

Hehadthoughthecouldputtheincidentoutofhismind.HehadthoughtRutledgewouldjust

ignorehimaftertheincident.

Hehadbeenwrongonbothcounts.
Shawnsighedandstaredmoodilyattheassignmentinfrontofhim.Rutledgehadbeen

incrediblydifficultthepastfewdays,givinghimbrutallydifficultassignmentsandconstantly
scoldinghiminfrontofeveryonewhenShawnfailedtocompletethemtoRutledge’ssatisfaction.

“Areyoudone,Wyatt?”saidafamiliarcoldvoice,andShawntensed.HeglancedatChristianto

hisleft,buthisfriendeyedthebookinfrontofhimwithexaggeratedinterest.Traitor.

“I’llbedonesoon,”Shawnlied.HestiffenedwhenRutledgeputahandonthedeskandleaned

downtolookattheblankpieceofpaperinfrontofhim.

“Isee,”Rutledgesaid.
Shawnturnedhisheadtoglareathimandwastakenabackbyhowclosetheotherman’sface

was.Inchesaway.Darkeyeslockedwithhisforamomentbeforetheirowner ’slipstwistedderisively.
Rutledgestraighteneduptohisimpressiveheightandsaid,“Yourassignmentisdueintenminutes,
Wyatt.”

“Butyousaid—”
“Tenminutes,”Rutledgerepeatedinavoicethatclearlysaiditwouldbearnoargument.
Hewalkedaway,andShawngloweredathisback.
Hereturnedhisgazetothepaperinfrontofhimandstaredatitsullenly.Itwasn’tfair.Howwas

hesupposedtocompletethisassignmentinsuchashorttime?Thequestionswereridiculously
difficultandbarelyreflectedwhatthey’dlearnedinclass.Whycouldn’ttheassholejustleavehim
alone?ItfeltlikeRutledgewasdeterminedtomakehislifealivinghell—andhewassucceeding.

Shawnscowled,tryingtokeephistemperincheckandfailing.Hewastired,sleep-deprived,

hungryandangry—neveragoodcombination.

Later,hewouldblameeverythingonhissleep-deprivation.Hewouldblamehissleep-

deprivationforwritingwhathewouldhaveneverwrittenhadhenotbeensodamntired,hungryand
angry.

Shawnturnedinhis“assignment”exactlytenminuteslaterandwalkedbacktohisdesk.He

wasn’tevenhalfwaytohisdeskwhenRutledgesaid,hisvoiceverysoft,“Mr.Wyatt,myofficeafter
yourclasses.”

Hismouthdry,Shawnnodded.
Idiot,hetoldhimself.Heshouldn’thavelethistempergetthebetterofhim.

***

Whenhisclasseswereover,ShawnheadedtoRutledge’soffice,asordered.
Takingadeepbreath,heknockedonthefamiliardoor.
“Enter.”
Shawnwentinsideandclosedthedoorcarefully.
ThenhewalkedtoRutledge’sdesk.
“Well?”hesaid,crossinghisarmsoverhischest.
Slowly,Rutledgelookedup.Theexpressiononhisfacewaspositivelystonyashemoveda

pieceofpapertowardsShawn—the“assignment”hehadturnedin.“Whatisthemeaningofthis?”

Shawnpickedupthepaperandrereadthesinglesentencewrittenonit,asthoughhedidn’tknow

whatitsaid.

DoyouwanttofailmesoIhavenochoicebuttosuckyourdickagain?
Inwardly,Shawnwascringingabit.Hecouldn’tbelievehe’dlosthistemperandactuallywritten

that.

Butaloud,hesaid,“Can’tyouread,sir?”Onlyafewdaysago,hewouldn’thavedaredtouse

thiscockytonewithRutledge,butapparentlyhavinghadtheguy’sdickinhismouthdidwonders.

Rutledgestoodupandwalkedtohim.
Hecametoahaltonlyafewinchesaway.
Shawndidn’tmove,refusingtobeintimidated.
“Icanhaveyouexpelledforthis,”Rutledgesaid.
“Sure,butitwillgetyoufiredandyourcareertarnishedwheneveryonefindsoutyou’retrading

gradesforsex.”

Rutledgegrabbedhisneck.“Youlittleshit.”Hishandtightenedonhisthroat.“Areyou

threateningme?”

“No,”Shawncroakedout.“Ijustreallydislikebeingbullied.Ididn’tforceyoutoshoveyour

dickintomymouth,Professor.”

Rutledge’snostrilsflared.Hedidn’tsayanything,themusclesinhisjawworking.
“Seriously,what’syourproblemwithme?”Shawnsaid,strugglingtobreathethroughthe

pressureofRutledge’sgrip.“Ican’tbetheonlystudentyouused.I’mnotproudofwhatIdid,butit
wasafairdeal:webothgotsomethingoutofit.Whyareyoualwaysonmyback?”

“Inevertradegradesforsex,”Rutledgegroundout.“Youweretheonlyexception.”
Shawnblinked.“What?ButIheard—”

“Yes,Igetoffersallthetime,butIreporteveryonewho’sstupidenoughtosuggestitoutright.

DoIlooklikesomeonewhowouldtradegradesforanything,Wyatt?”

Well,no.ThatwaswhyShawnhadhadtroublebelievingitwhenChristianhadtoldhimthe

rumor.

“Butthen…”ShawnstudiedRutledge.“Thenwhataboutme?Whyme?”
Thesilencestretched.Andstretched.Andstretchedsomemore.
Oh.
Shawnlickedhislips.“Youwantme.”Heletoutanuncertainchuckle.“Wow.I’m—I’mkindof

flattered,Iguess.”

Rutledgegloweredathim,hisgripflexingonShawn’sthroat.“It’sjustlust,nothingmore.I

won’tgiveyouspecialtreatment.”

“You’realreadygivingme‘specialtreatment,’Professor.You’vebeenatotalassholelately—

evenmorethanyouusuallyare.”Shawnheldhisgaze.“Let’sbehonest,man.Ineedednottofailyour
class,soIsuckedyouoff.Ididn’tforceyoutoacceptmyoffer.Youwantedyourdicksuckedandyou
gotwhatyouwanted.It’snotmyfaultyoucouldn’tresistit.Anditsureashellisn’tmyfaultthatIturn
youon.Sopleasestoptakingitoutonme.Igetit:you’resexuallyfrustrated,butgojerkoff,orfuck
someone—”

“Idon’tthinkso,”Rutledgesaid,verysoftly.
Shawndidn’tlikethegleaminhiseyes.“What?”
“IalwaysgetwhatIwant,”Rutledgesaid,hissofttoneatoddswiththehardgriponShawn’s

throat.Therewouldprobablybebruises.“IfIwantyourmouth,I’llgetyourmouth,notsomeone
else’s.Getonyourknees.”

Shawnstaredathim.Wasthisguyforreal?
“Idon’tthinkso,Professor,”hesaid,justassoftly.“You’retheonewhowantshisdicksucked.

I’mstraight.What’sinitforme?”

Rutledge’seyesnarrowed.“Iwon’trepeatmymistakeagain.You’llhavetoworkforthefinal

gradelikeeveryoneelse.Iwon’tgiveyouagradeyoudon’tdeserve.”

“Thenitlookslikeitwillbethefirsttimeyoudon’tgetwhatyouwant.Sir.Letgo.Now.”
Rutledgedidn’tletgo,hisgazeassessing.“Twothousand,”hesaid.
Shawnfrowned.“What?”
“Twothousanddollarsamonth.”
Shawnlaughed,anincredulous,hardedgetoit.“You’vegottobekiddingme.I’mnotawhore.”
Rutledgeraisedhiseyebrows.
Shawnscowled,thoughhefelthischeeksgrowhot.“It’sdifferent.”
“Howisthatdifferent?”Rutledge’slipscurled,butShawnwouldnevercallitasmile.“It’s

actuallyfarmorehonestandstraightforwardthanwhoringyourselfforagrade.Youneedmoney,
Wyatt.”

“Howdoyouknowthat?”Shawnsaidsharply.
“Ihaveeyes.Mostofyourclothesarewornoutandold.”
Rutledge’stonewasmatter-of-fact,yetShawnsuddenlyfeltveryconsciousoftheshabbinessof

hisappearancecomparedtoRutledge’simmaculatesuit.“Don’tyouhavebetterthingstodothan
studyyourstudents’clothes?”

RutledgestrokedhisthumboverthepulseinShawn’sneck.“Twothousandamonth.Justfor

suckingmydick.Thinkaboutit,Wyatt.”

Shawndidn’twanttothinkaboutit.HewantedtolaughinRutledge’sfaceandwalkout,but…
But.
Hethoughtabouttheemptyfridgeandcupboardsathome.Hethoughtabouttherent,duenext

week.Hethoughtofthewintercomingsoon—andoftheheatingbills.HethoughtofMrs.Hawkins’s
wages.HethoughtofthefactthathebarelysawEmilyandBee,becausehehadtoworktwojobsand
stillbarelyscrapedaliving.

Hewastempted.Fuckinghell,hewastempted.Itdidn’texactlymakehimproud,butRutledge

wasright:heneededmoneyandhewasinnopositiontobepickyaboutthesourceofthemoney.

“Threethousand,”Shawnsaid.Ifhewasgoingtowhorehimselfout,hewasn’tgoingtobe

cheap.Rutledgewasn’tmarried,hadacushyjobandhadpublishedmultipleaward-winningbooks.He
couldeasilyaffordit.

Rutledgesnorted.“Youcan’tbeserious.Icanfindfiftywhoresforthatmoney.”
“I’msureyoucan.Butit’smeyouwant.AndI’mnotawhore.”
“Youcouldhavefooledme.”
Shawnignoredthejabandsaidsoftly,lookingRutledgeintheeye,“It’snotlikeyoucan’tafford

it.Threegrandforfuckingmymouthanytimeyouwant.”

Rutledge’snostrilsflared.Hisfacewashardtoread,butthehungerinhiseyesashelookedat

Shawn’slipswashardertoconceal.ItmadeShawnfeelweird.Hewasstraight,buthewashonest
enoughwithhimselftoadmitthatitwasflatteringashellthatthisman—thispowerfulmaneveryone
fearedandrespected—wantedhimsobadly.

“AnytimeIwant?”Rutledgesaid,liftinghisgazetoShawn’seyes.
Afteramoment’shesitation,Shawnnodded.HowoftencouldRutledgepossiblydemandforhim

todoit?Probablyafewtimesaweek,atmost.Abouttentimesamonth.Andhe’dgetthreethousand
dollarsforthat.Hewouldbeabletoquitoneofhisjobsandspendmoretimewiththekids.

Itwouldbeworthit.
“Verywell,”Rutledgesaid,lettinggoofhisthroat.Hereturnedtohischairandlookedat

Shawn.“Whatareyouwaitingfor,Wyatt?”

Shawnswallowedandlookeddownattheimpressivebulgeintheman’spants.Hecouldtotally

doit.Justtentimesamonthandthreethousanddollarsforhistrouble.Hehadalreadysucked
Rutledge’sdickonceanditwasn’trevoltingoranything.Hecoulddoit.

Shawnlockedthedoorandthensanktohiskneesinfrontofthemosthatedprofessorinschool.

Chapter5

Ireallyunderestimatedhissexdrive,Shawnthoughtashesuckedhisprofessor ’scockaweek

later.Itwasthefifthtimethatweekthathe’dfoundhimselfonhiskneesinfrontofRutledge.

Shawnhadtoadmititwasn’tdisgustingoranything;itcouldhavebeenmuchworse.Much

worse.Rutledge’sdickwasalwayscleanandtastedallright.Sure,thesizemadeitmoredifficultthan
itshouldhavebeen,butafterthefirstfewtimes,he’dgottenusedtoitandhisjawhadstoppedaching.
Besides,moreoftenthannot,Rutledgedidmostofthejob,holdingShawn’sfaceinplaceandjust
fuckingintohismouth.

However,thereweretimes,liketoday,whenRutledgeorderedShawntolickandsuckhiscock

slowly.Thatwasmoredifficult,butShawn’sinnersenseoffairnessdidn’tlethimdoahalf-assedjob:
Rutledgepaidhimalotofmoneyforthis,afterall.

Ifanyonehadtoldhimafewweeksagothathewouldbesuckinganotherguy’sdickeveryday,

Shawnwouldhavelaughed.IfanyonehadtoldhimthathewouldletProfessorRutledge,ofall
people,puthisdickinhismoutheveryday,Shawnwouldhavethoughtitwasaverybadjoke.And
notafunnyjoke.

Yettherehewas,suckingRutledge’scock,Rutledge’sbighandguidinghisheadasShawn

bobbedhishead,swirlinghistonguearoundtheheadofhisteacher ’scock.Yeah,itdidtasteallright.
Shawnfoundthatwitheachtimehemindedthetasteless.

Rutledgegrunted,hishipsbuckingupslightly.Shawnwasn’tsurewhatitsaidabouthimthathe

couldtellRutledgewasclose.

“Lookatme,”Rutledgedemanded.
Shawnmetthedarkeyesandsuckedontheheadslowly.Thenharder.
RutledgegrabbedShawn’shair,thrusthardandcame.
Shawnswallowedthecome.Hewasn’tafanofthetaste,butheknewRutledgelikedwhenhedid

it.Thetastewasn’tthathorrible,anyway.

Afterawhile,hefeltRutledge’sgazeonhimandhelookedupagain.
Rutledgewasstaringathimwithanoddexpressiononhisface.Suddenly,Shawnrealizedthat

hestillhadRutledge’ssoftcockinhismouthandwasstillsuckingonitidly,asthoughitwasagiant
lollipop.

Flushing,Shawnletthecockslipoutofhismouthandshottohisfeet.“Ijustzonedout,”hesaid,

turningawayandwipinghismouth.

“Ididn’tsayanything,”Rutledgesaid.
Whenheheardthesoundofazipper,Shawnturnedback.
Onceagain,ProfessorRutledgelookedimmaculateanduntouchable.IfShawndidn’tknow

better,hewouldneverbelievewhathadjusttranspiredinthatofficeafewminutesago.

Shawnshiftedfromonefoottotheother.
Leaningbackinhischair,Rutledgeraisedhiseyebrows.“Yes?”
Shit.Thiswasawkwardashell,butMrs.HawkinshadtoldhimthatshewouldquitifShawn

didn’traiseherwages.Tomakemattersworse,hisrentwasduetoday.SoShawnforcedhimselfto
speak,“Ineedmoney.Canyoupaymenow?Imean—Iknowitwasn’tthedeal,but—”

“Comeoverhere.”
Shawnclosedhismouthmid-sentenceandsteppedtowardhim.Hecouldn’treadRutledge’s

expression.

Rutledgetookhiswristandyankedhimintohislap.
“Whatthe—”
“What’sinitforme?”Rutledgesaid,clearlymockinghimbyusingthewordsShawnhadsaida

weekago.

ShawngrippedthebackofRutledge’schair,feelinguncomfortableandweirdedout.He’dnever

imaginedhewouldeverbeinthissituation:sittinginProfessorRutledge’slapandtryingtocajole
moneyoutofhim.“Whatdoyouwant?Anotherblowjob?”

Rutledgestudiedhim.“Youletmekissyouandtouchyou,andIwillgiveyouthemoney.”
Shawnblinked.HelookeddownatRutledge’slipsandfeltanuneasyfeelingspreadinhis

stomach.“Idon’tknow—Imean,I’mstraight.Thatwouldbekindofweird.”

Thelipshewaslookingattwisted.
“Moreweirdthansuckingmydick,Wyatt?”
Shawnfeltnervouslaughterbubbleupinsidehim.“Well,whenyouputitthatway,Iguess

you’reright.”

RutledgewrappedahandaroundShawn’sneck,strokinghispulsewithhisthumb.“Well?”
Shawnshrugged.“Fine.Whatever.”
ItseemedasthoughRutledgehadbeenwaitingforjustthosewords,becausethenextthing

Shawnknew,hehadhisprofessor ’stongueinhismouth.Shawn’seyeswidened,butheforced
himselftorelax.

Heclosedhiseyes,tryingtodistancehimselffromwhatwashappeningandfailing.

Surprisingly,Rutledgewasaprettygoodkisser.Hewasn’tsloppy,andthekisswasn’tgross,butit
wasstrange.Itwasstrangetobetheonebeingkissed,nottheotherwayaround.Hewasbeingkissed
byaman,notagirl.Thedifferenceshouldn’thavebeensoobvious,butitwas.Rutledgekissedthe
samewayheacted:bossy,demandingandhard.

Afewminuteslater,Rutledgewasfinallydonekissinghim,andShawn’slipswereswollenand

sensitive.Hefeltkindofoverwhelmedandmorethanalittleweirdedout.

Rutledgetookonelookathim,snortedandpushedhimoffhislap.Shawngottohisfeet

unsteadilyandturnedtoleave.

“Youdidn’tcollectyourpayment,Wyatt.”
Payment.Right.
Shawnturnedbackanddidn’tlookathimasRutledgeputmoneyintohispocket.
“Nowgetout,”Rutledgesaid.“Ihavepaperstograde.”
Shawnwasonlyalltoohappytoobey.
Oncehewasoutsidetheoffice,hetouchedhissorelips.
Theyweretingling.

Chapter6

Turnedout,kissingwasn’tjustaone-timething.Rutledgeseemedtothinkthatnowthathe’d

doneitonce,hehadtherighttoshovehistongueintoShawn’smouthwheneverhewanted—andhe
seemedtowantitveryoften.

Asaresult,ShawnhadbeenspendinganawfullotoftimeinRutledge’slap,withRutledge’s

tongueinhismouthandRutledge’shandsonhisass.Thelattermadehimabituneasy,butRutledge
didn’tseemtowantanythingelse.Shawnfiguredtheguyjustcouldn’thelpit,sohedidn’tmakeafuss
aboutit.

Usually,afterabouttenminutesofhardkissing,Rutledgeorderedhimtosuckhimoff,but

todayhewastakinghistime,kissinghimoverandover,deepandabsolutelyfilthy,untilShawncould
barelybreathe.Thefamiliarfeelingofbeingcompletelyoverwhelmedwasback,andShawnfound
himselfgaspingandmakingsmallnoises—hewasn’tevensurewhy.Itwasjusttoomuch.Hewasn’t
surewhetherhelikedthisfeeling—thefeelingofbeingcompletelyoverwhelmed—orhatedit.

Atlast,Rutledgebrokethekiss,butinsteadofsimplyorderinghimtosuckhimoff,ashe

usuallydid,hestartedkissingdownShawn’sneck.

“Er,I’mprettysurethiswasn’tpartofthedeal,”Shawnsaid.
Rutledgeignoredhim,ofcourse.
Shawnrolledhiseyes.Sincethewholethingstarted,he’ddiscoveredthatRutledgeactuallykept

himselfincheckinclassanddidnotdemonstratetheextentofhis…personality.Whentheywere
alone,Rutledgedidn’tholdback:hewascompletelydomineering.Everythinghadtobedonetheway
Rutledgewanted.

ShawnwastornawayfromhisthoughtswhenhefeltRutledge’slargehandsslideunderhisshirt

tostrokehisbareback.

“You’rekindacrossingtheline,man,”Shawnmurmured,thoughifhewashonestwithhimself,

hewasn’tthatbotheredbyRutledge’scopingafeel.Hewonderedwhetherheshouldbe.

Itwasn’tthefirsttimeithadoccurredtoShawnthathewasnowherenearasfreakedoutbythe

wholethingasheprobablyshouldhavebeen.Butthenagain,hehadtheguy’sdickinhismouthevery
day.Thiswasnothing.

Rutledgecontinuedtonibbleathisneckaggressively.“Pullmeoutandjerkmeoff.”
BeforeShawncoulddoit,Rutledge’scellphonestartedvibratingonthedesk.
Swearingthroughhisteeth,RutledgeliftedhisheadfromShawn’sneckandreachedoutforhis

phone.

“Yes?”hesnappedwithoutlookingatthecallerID.
ShawnwatchedwithinterestasRutledge’sfaceturnedintoastonymask.Heobviouslydidn’t

likewhateverthecallerwassayingtohim,becausehisvoiceturnedhard.“I’mnotinterested,Vivian.”
Apause.“Idon’tgiveadamnaboutwhathewants.Saveyourbreath.I’mnotcoming.”

Hiscuriositypiqued,Shawnleanedclosertothephone,tryingtocatchwhatshewassaying.
“…fatherisveryill,Derek,”thewoman—Vivian—said.“IswearI’mnotlying.Hewouldnever

admitit,butIknowhewantstoseeyoubefore—before…Please.Forme.”

Rutledge’sjawtightened.“I’mnotgoingtodowhathewantsmetodo.I’mnotmarryingthat

sillylittlegirl.”

“Amandaisaniceyoungwoman,”Viviansaid.“Yes,herdadisourfather ’sfriend,butshe’snot

herdad.She’skindand—”

“Vivian,”Rutledgecutheroff,glaringathisdesk.“You’reforgettingsomething.I’mnotinto

women.AndevenifIwere,Iwouldhavenevermarriedthewomanhechoseforme.”

Viviansighed.“Justcomehomethisweekend.That’stheonlythingI’masking.”
Rutledgepinchedthebridgeofhisnose.“Fine,”hebitout.Hehunguprudelyanddroppedthe

phoneontohisdesk.

“Yoursister?”Shawnsaid.FiguringRutledgewasn’tinthemoodforsexanymore,hewasabout

toslideoffhislapwhenRutledgegrabbedhimandyankedhimintoakiss.

Thekisswascruel,hardandpunishing.Itendedasquicklyasitstarted.
Rutledgegrippedhischinandstaredathim,angerstillrollingoffhiminwaves.“Youwill

accompanyme.”

Shawnchuckled.“Iwill?Thanksforinformingme.”
“I’llpayyou,”Rutledgesaid,notatallfazed.“Anotherthreethousandfortheweekend.”
Shawnstaredathim.“Youcan’tbeserious.You’rewillingtopaymethreegrandjusttoannoy

yourdad?”

TheglareRutledgegavehimwouldhavemadehimflinchafewweeksago.“That’snoneof

yourbusiness.”Heglancedathiswatch.“It’salmosttwo.Gohomeandpackfortheweekend.I’llpick
youupintwohours.”

ShawnputhishandsonRutledge’sshoulders.“Whoa,waitasecond.I’mnotgoinganywhere.

I’mserious.Ican’t.”

Rutledgeshothimanirritatedlook.“Whynot?”
Shawnhesitated.“Ihavetwolittlesisters.They’rejustfour.Ican’tleavethemfortheweekend.

Theyhavenooneelse.”

RutledgehadanexpressiononhisfaceShawncouldn’tquiteread.“Getthemababysitter.I’ll

pay.”

Rollinghiseyes,Shawnjumpedoffhislap.“Isthatyouranswertoeverything?Youcan’tbuy

everything,youknow.I’mnotgoingtoleavethekidswithsomeonetheydon’tknow.Theirusual
babysitterhasaweekendoff.”

Rutledgeheavedasigh,hisbrowsknittingslightlyasafrowncrossedhislips.“Fine.Bringthe

bratswithus.”

Shawnpausedbeforeturningbacktohim.“Idon’tthinkit’sagoodidea.Theygetanxious

aroundstrangers,andyou…well,you’reyou.”

AwrysmileappearedonRutledge’sface.“Contrarytopopularopinion,Idon’teatbabiesfor

breakfast.”HestoodupandwalkedtowardShawn.“You’recomingwithme,”hesaid,stoppingin
frontofhim.“Idon’tcarewhatyoudoaboutthechildren,butyouwillcomewithme.”

BeforeShawncouldsayanything,Rutledgegrabbedhiscollarandpulledhimintoakiss.
AfewminuteslaterRutledgefinallylethimbreatheagain,andShawnwasdisturbedtofindhis

fingersclenchedinRutledge’sshirt.

“Right,”hesaid,somewhatdazedly,blinking.
Rutledgegavehimapushtowardsthedoor.“I’llpickyouupintwohours.Iknowyour

address.”

“Right,”Shawnsaidagainandleft,feelingmorethanalittleconfusedandfreakedout.

Chapter7

“Butwherearewegoing?”Emilyasked,pullingatShawn’shand.
“Who’sgonnacomeandpickusup?”Beeasked,bouncingexcitedlyandpullingathisother

hand.

Shawnlookedbetweentheirexcitedlittlefacesandgrimacedinwardly.Thiswasaterribleidea.
“Afriend,”hesaid,choosingtoanswerBee,sincehehadnoideawheretheyweregoing.

PresumablytovisitRutledge’sfather.ItseemedRutledgeandhisfatherwereatodds—toputitlightly
—soShawndoubteditwasgoingtobeawarmfamilyreunion,evenwithouttakingintoaccountthe
factthatRutledgewasclearlybringinghimalongjusttoannoyhisfather.

DraggingEmilyandBeeintothiswasn’tagoodidea,butontheotherhand…threethousand

dollars.Hewouldn’thavetoworryaboutMrs.Hawkins’swagesforafewmonths.

“Isthathim?Isthathim?”Bee’sbouncingbecameevenmoreexcitedasshepointedattheblack

Mercedesthathadstoppedinfrontofthebuilding.

“Probably,”Shawnsaid.“Let’sgo.”HetooktheirsuitcaseandgrabbedBee’shandwithhisother

hand.Emilycouldbetrustedtostaycloseandnottorunoffsomewhere;Beecouldnot.

TheMercedes’sdoorsopenedwhentheyreachedit.
ShawnwassurprisedtofindthatRutledgealreadyhadchildsafetyseatsinstalled.
“Hey,”hesaidtoRutledge,feelingawkwardandthrownoff-balance.Rutledgewasnever

supposedtomeethissisters.“Emily,Melissa,sayhellotoMr.Rutledge.”

“I’mnotMelissa!”Beesaidwithapout.
Shawnhidasmile.“Emily,Bee,sayhellotoMr.Rutledge.”
“Hello,Mr.Rutledge!”theysaidtogetherandShawnfeltasurgeofpride.Theywerejustfour,

buttheywereverysmartandarticulate.Theylookedlikelittlegolden-hairedangels,smilingshylyat
theman.Anyonewithaheartwouldhavesmiledback.

Apparently,notDerekRutledge.Rutledgestudiedthegirlsasiftheyweresomespecimensfrom

anotherplanetbeforenoddingfaintlyandturningbacktoShawn.“Getthemintotheirseats.I’llput
yoursuitcaseintothetrunk.”

Shawnjustrolledhiseyes,wonderingwhathadturnedRutledgeintosuchacontrolfreak.Itwas

acompletelyunnecessaryorder.

Bythetimethegirlsweresecuredintheback,Rutledgehadreturnedtothedriver ’sseat.Shawn

glancedatthegirlsforthelasttimebeforeclosingthedoorcarefullyandtakinghisseat.

“Beforeweleave,Iwanttomakesomethingclear,”Shawnsaid,loweringhisvoicesothatthe

girlscouldn’thear.“Iknowverylittleaboutyourfamily,butyouwon’tdragthegirlsintoyour
problemswithyourfather.Ifanyonetreatsthembadly,we’llleave.Screwthemoney.Gotit?”

Rutledgestaredathimforamoment.
“Noonewilltreatthembadly,”hesaidbeforeleaningover,grabbingShawn’schinand

coveringShawn’slipswithhis.

Shawnfrowned—itwasneitherthetimenortheplace—butRutledgeheldhisfacefirmly,his

lipshardandhungry,histonguedelvingdeepintoShawn’smouth,confidentandproprietary,and
soonenough,Shawnfoundhimselfcompletelyoverwhelmedbytheintensityofthekiss.Itwenton,

andon,andon—

“Shawn,areyouhurt?”
Withagasp,heshovedRutledgeawayandfocusedhisgazeonEmily.“What?No!”
Afurrowappearedbetweenhersmallbrows.“Ithoughtyouwerehurt.Youweremaking

noises.”

Hisfacewarm,ShawndeterminedlyavoidinglookingatRutledge.“Iwasn’tmakingnoises.”
“Youwere!”Beesaid,lookingpuzzled.“Lyingisbad!Yousaidso!”
Emilynodded.“AndwhydidMr.Rutledgeputhistongueinyourmouth?”
“Becauseyourbrotherwantedsomethingtosuckon,”Rutledgecommented,startingtheengine.
Flushing,Shawnkickedhimontheshin,buttohissurprise,thetwinsseemedsatisfiedwiththe

explanationandstartedtalkingaboutsomethingelse.

Hesettledbackintohisseat.
Shawndidn’tlookatRutledge.Hecouldn’t.
Hewasstillwarmallover,hisskintightandhisbreathinguneven.
Fuck.Whatwashappeningtohim?

***

“So,what’sthedealwithyourdad?”
Theyhadbeendrivingforoveranhourandthegirlswereasleep.
Rutledge’seyeswerefixedontheroadahead.“Sincewhenisityourbusiness?”
“Idon’tknow,”Shawnsaid,notwithoutsarcasm.“You’redraggingme—andmyfamily—to

yourfather ’shouse,uninvited.Somethingtellsmehewon’tbehappytoseeus.”

“Hewon’t.Butifitmakesyoufeelbetter,hewon’tbehappytoseeme,either.”
Shawnleanedbackinhisseatandstudiedhisprofile.“Ithoughtheinvitedyou.”
Rutledgechuckled.Itwasachillingsound.“Myfatherwouldneverswallowhisprideandinvite

me.Fifteenyearsago,hesaidIwouldcomecrawlingbackwhenIranoutofmoney.Hehateswhen
he’sprovenwrong.”

Shawn’seyeswidened.“Youmeanyouhaven’tbeenhomeinfifteenyears?”
“AndI’dgladlystayawayforfifteenmoreyears.I’mstillnotconvincedmysisterisn’tlying

abouthishealth.Thatoldbastardwilloutliveusall.”

Shawnwasalittledisturbed.WhatdidRutledge’sfatherdotodeservesuchhatredfromhisown

son?

“Um,didhebeatyouwhenyouwereakid?”
ThecornerofRutledge’smouthtwitched.“JosephRutledgewouldneverdosomethingso

plebeian.”

“Ah.”Shawnhesitated.“Didhekickyououtbecauseofyoursexuality?”
Rutledge’sfingersgrippedthesteeringwheeltighter.“Heneverkickedmeout.Ileftmyself.”
Shawncouldsenseitwasmorecomplicatedthanthat.IfRutledge’sfatherwantedhissonto

marrysomewoman,itmeanthestillhadn’tacceptedhisson’ssexuality;heprobablythoughtitwas
something“curable.”However,sinceShawndidn’tknowRutledge’sfather,hecouldonlyspeculate.

“What’shelike?”
Rutledgeshruggedslightly.“Typicaloldmoney.Proud,high-handedandinflexible.”
“Hmm,heremindsmeofsomeone,then.”

Rutledgevisiblystiffened.
Shawntookinthetensesetofhiswideshoulders,theaggressivejutofhisprofile.Thefive

o’clockshadowgavehimarugged,rougherlook.Shawn’seyestraileddownRutledge’sarms,from
hisbicepsstrainingbeneaththesleevesofhisshirttothefingersgrippingthesteeringwheelalittle
tighterthannecessary.Shawnlickedhisdrylips,staringatRutledge’shands.Herememberedthem
grippinghischin,hisneck—

“Youkeeplookingatmethatwayandyou’llendupwithmydickinyoubeforethetripisover.”
ShawnsnappedhisgazetoRutledge’sface.Rutledgewaslookingattheroadahead.
Hisfacehot,Shawnsaid,“Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.”
Rutledgejustsnorted.
Silencefellbetweenthem,thick,charged,tinglingwithawareness.
Finally,Shawncouldn’tstanditanymore.“Whatdidyoumean?”
“YouknowwhatImean.Despiteyourpoorgrades,youarenotcompletelystupid.”
“Wow,thanks.I’mgoingtomarkthisdayinthecalendar.‘ProfessorRutledgesaidI’mnot

completelystupid.’Ifeelsospecial,youknow.”

“Wyatt.”Rutledgestillwouldn’tlookatShawn.“Youarenotasstraightasyoubelieve.Toputit

bluntly:youlookatmelikeyouwanttosuckmydick.”

Shawnopenedhismouthbutcloseditwithoutsayinganything.Thenhelaughed.“Youhavea

reallyhighopinionofyourself.”

Rutledgesighed,pulledthecarofftheroadandkilledtheengine.Withoutaword,hegotoutof

thecar,walkedtothepassengerseat,openedthedooranddraggedShawnout.

“Hey!”Shawnsaid,glancingbackatthetwins,buttheywerestillsoundasleep.
RutledgeshutthedooranddraggedShawnawayfromthecar,towardsthewoods.
“Look—”Shawnstarted,buthewascutoffwhenRutledgepushedhimagainstthewidetrunkof

atreeandputhishandsbyeithersideofShawn’sface.

Thedarkeyesboredintohim.“Ihavenopatienceforgayfreakouts.Icouldn’tcarelessifyou

deludeyourselfintothinkingthatyou’retotallystraight.Butwhenyou’rewithme,Idon’twantto
hearthisnonsense.”

Shawnlaugheduncertainly.“Don’tyouthinkit’sabitpresumptuousofyoutosayyouknow

betterthanmewhetherI’mstraightorgay?”

“Actually,Ithinkyou’rebisexual,butit’sneitherherenorthere.I’mnotsayingIknowbetter

thanyouwhatturnsyouon.ButIhaveeyes.Icaneasilytellwhenaguywantstosuckmydick.”

“Idon’twanttosuckyourdick.Isuckyourdickonlybecauseyoupaymetodoit.”
“Yes,Ipayyou,”Rutledgesaidinalowvoice.“Butitdoesn’tmeanyoudon’tlikeit.Youhavea

bitofanoralfixation,Wyatt.Yourmouthisverysensitive.Youlikehavingyourmouthfull.Youlike
beingkissed.Youlikebeingfuckedinthemouth.”

Shawnshivered.“Idon’t.”
Rutledgeraisedhiseyebrows.“YoucontinuesuckingmydickevenafterIcome.”
Hisskingrowingwarm,Shawnavertedhisgaze.Yeah,hehadcaughthimselfdoingthatafew

times,but…“Evenifwhatyousayistrue,itdoesn’tproveanything.”Oralfixationwasactuallya
goodexplanationwhyheenjoyedRutledge’skissesandwhyhavingRutledge’sdickinhismouthfelt
kindof…allright.

“You’reright,”Rutledgesaid.“Likingtosuckanotherman’sdickdoesn’tmakeyougay.”
“Stopmockingme.”
“I’mnotmockingyou.”
Theylookedateachotherinsilence.
Shawnmoistenedhislipswithaswipeofhistongue.

RutledgeliftedhishandandstrokedShawn’sbottomlipwithhisthumb.
Shawnstayedverystill,barelybreathing.
Rutledgeslowlypushedthethumbintohismouth,gentlypartingShawn’slips,astheycontinued

tostareateachother.Shawntentativelybrushedthetipofhistongueoverthethumbandthen...

Hesucked.
Rutledgeinhaledsharply.HebegantopushandpullhisthumbinandoutofShawn’smouth,all

thewhilelookinghimintheeye.ItmadeShawnblush—hewassuckingonhisprofessor ’sthumb,for
fuck’ssake—butgodhelphim,hewaslovingit,theinsideofhismouthtingling.Hecouldn’tstop
sucking.Hewantedtokeepsuckingonit.

HemadeasmallnoisewhenRutledgeremovedhisthumb.
“Definitelyoralfixation,”Rutledgemurmuredbeforeleaninginandreplacinghisthumbwith

histongue.

Severalminuteslater,Shawnfoundhimselfonthegrass,withRutledge’sheavybodyontopof

him.HewasmoaningashesuckedgreedilyonRutledge’stongue,hishandsburiedintheman’shair.
Hecouldn’tpretendanymorethathedidn’tenjoythis,sohedidn’ttrytosuppresshissighsand
moansofpleasureasRutledgethoroughlyfuckedhismouthwithhistongue.

“You’renoisy,”Rutledgegrunted,nippingalongShawn’sjawlineanddownhisneck.
Shawnfelttoodisorientedtoanswerandonlypulledhimbacktohislips.Hewantedmore

kisses.Heneededmorekisses.

Rutledgeobliged,kissinghimdeeply,hishandfumblingbetweenthem,doing…something.
Shawn’seyeswidenedwhenhefeltRutledgewraphishandaroundbothoftheircocks.He

tensed.Hewashard.Hewashard.

“Forgetaboutlabels,goddammit,”Rutledgesaidandstartedstrokingthemfast,kissingShawn

deeperanddirtier.

Shawncoulddonothingbutmoan.Hewastoofargonetoprotest.Hewantedtocome.Before

hecouldstophimself,hestartedmovinghiships,meetingRutledge’sstrokes,feelingRutledge’s
cockrubagainsthis,andfuck,themerethought—itwaswrongandarousingallatonce.

Itdidn’ttakelong.Theyweren’tevenkissingnow—moreliketryingtoswalloweachother,lips

andteethbitingandsucking.ShawnrolledalittleandhookedonelegupoverRutledge’s,bracing
themtogether.Fireburnedthroughhiminawhite-hotglow,andhecouldfeelitgatheringinhis
belly,spreadingoutwardinstreaks.HefeltRutledgegrowl,lowandrough,shudderingashecame,
stickywetheatpoolingbetweenthem.AfewmorestrokesandShawnwascomingtoo,moaningand
clawingatRutledge’sback.

HeopenedhiseyesslowlyandfoundRutledgealreadyonhisfeet,zippinghispantsup.
Realizinghiscockwasstilloutintheopen,Shawnquicklytuckedhimselfinandzippedup,his

fingersshaking.

HecouldhearRutledgewalkbacktothecar.“Oneofthemisawake.”
Shawngottohisfeet.“Them?”hesaid,stillunabletothinkaboutanythingbesidesthefactthat

he’djusthadsexwithaman.

“Oneofthechildren,”Rutledgesaid,gettingintothedriver ’sseat.ThewayRutledgesaidthe

word“children,”hecouldaswellbetalkingaboutaliens.ItalmostmadeShawnsmile.Almost.

Shawnwalkedtothecarandtookhisseat.
Beewasstillasleep,butEmilywasn’t.Shewassuckingonherthumbsleepily,lookingbetween

ShawnandRutledge.“Youweren’therewhenIwokeup.”

Shawnleanedoverandkissedherontheforehead.“I’msorry,baby.Wereyouscared?”
“I’mnotababy,”Emilysaid.“I’mbig.We’retherealready?”
“No,”Shawnsaid.

“Thenwhydidthecarstop?”
Shawnclearedhisthroat.Howwashesupposedtoanswerthat?“BecauseMr.RutledgeandI

neededtotalk.”

Rutledgestartedtheengine.
Emilyyawned.“Whycouldn’tyoutalkinthecar?”
“Because—becausewedidn’twanttowakeyouup.”
Emilyfrownedbutseemedtoaccepttheexplanation.Hereyesstartedclosingagain.
Breathingout,Shawnturnedawayfromherandlookedatthepassingscenery.
“Putontheseatbelt,”Rutledgeorderedafterawhile.
Shawnputontheseatbeltandmuttered,“Controlfreak.”
“Soareyoudonefreakingout?”Rutledge’stonewassardonic.
“Iwasn’tfreakingout.”Realizinghesaiditabittooloud,Shawnloweredhisvoice.“Why

wouldI?Soyougavemeahand-job.Bigdeal.Ihaven’thadsexinages,andyouknowkissingturns
meon.”

Rutledgesaidnothingandreturnedhisgazetotheroad,hisfacecompletelyunreadable.
Shawnstudiedhim.“Youknow,I’mcuriousaboutsomething,”hemurmured.“Whyme?Why

doyoupaymeanobsceneamountofmoneyforafewblowjobs?Youdon’tevenneedtopayforsex.
I’msurelotsofgaymenwouldgladlyhavesexwithyou.Imean,it’snotlikeyou’reuglyor
something.Sowhyme?”

“Areyoufishingforcompliments?”
“Nope.I’mgenuinelycurious.”
“Iwantedtofuckyousincethemomentyouenteredmyclassroomafewmonthsago.It’sas

simpleasthat.”

Shawnmoistenedhislips,hisstomachdoingalittleflip-flop.“Youwantedmeforthatlong?”
Rutledgesnorted,withoutlookingathim.“Iwasn’tpiningoranything,Wyatt.Iwantedtoget

mydickinyou.You’rejustmytype.”

“Blond?”
“No.Idon’tmeanyourlooks.Ifwegobylooksalone,yourfriend,Ashford,ismoremytype

thanyou.”

Shawn’sgutclenched.Hewasn’tsurewhyhewassurprised.Christianwasextremelyattractive.

Hell,everyonewasattractedtohim.Andwithhisdarkbrownhair,expressivebrowneyesandsensual
redlips,hewasShawn’scompleteopposite.Shawnalwaysfeltpaleandwashedoutnexttohisfriend.

“SoifitwasChristianwhoofferedsexforagrade,you’ddoit?”
Rutledgeshothimastrangelook.“No.”
ThemusclesinShawn’sgutunclenched.“Whynot?”
“BecauseIdon’twanttofuckhim,”Rutledgesaidcrudely.Hewasstartingtolookirritated,for

somereason.“Findingsomeonephysicallyattractiveisnotthesamethingaswantingthem.”

“SowhatdidyoumeanwhenyousaidI’myourtype?”
RutledgewasquietforsolongShawnstartedtothinkhewasn’tgoingtoreplyatall.
Therewasatouchofself-deprecationinhisvoicewhenhespoke,“It’sallverycliché.WhenI

wasinschool,Iwasastereotypicalunpopularnerd.”

“Really?”Lookingatthisself-assured,arrogantman,Shawnhadtroublebelievingthat.
“OfcourseIwas.IgotmyPhDattwenty-three,Wyatt.Ididn’texactlyhavethetimetosocialize

withpeople.”

“Thatexplainsalot,”Shawnmuttered.“Letmeguess:therewasapopularjockyouhadacrush

onandIlooklikehim?”

“Helookednothinglikeyou.”

“Thenhowisthatrelevant?”
“Ifyoustopinterruptingme,you’llfindout.”Rutledge’slipscurled.“Hewasthestereotypical

popularjock.Obviouslystraightasanarrowandactedlikeheownedtheworld,andIwanted…I
lookedathimandimaginedforcingmydickdownhisthroat.Imaginedholdinghimdownand
makinghimbegtobefucked.Makingastraightboybegformycock.”

Shawnswallowedandglancedatthegirlstomakesuretheywereasleep.“Whereareyougoing

withthis?”

Rutledgeshruggedslightly,hiseyesontheroad.“Pretty,straight,andunattainable:that’spretty

muchmytype.Ifyouletmefuckyou,I’llgetboredofyou.Ialwaysgetboredofthem.”

Shawncrossedhisarmsoverhischest,feelingcoldallofasudden.
“Who’sdoneittoyou?”heaskedatlast,lookingatthepassingcountryside.Itwasgettingdark.
“What?”
“Someonefuckedyouup.”Shawnturnedhisheadtohim.“It’snothealthytoenterinto

relationshipsknowingthey’redoomedtofail—thatyouwouldloseinterestintheguyafteryoufuck
him.Andit’sreallyfuckeduptohavestraight,unattainableguysasyourtype.Areyouafraidof
commitment?Orofsomethingelse?”

Rutledge’sjawwasclenchedsotightlythatthecordsonhisneckstoodout.“Sparemeyour

pseudo-psychologicalanalysis.Theexplanationisactuallymuchsimpler:Ijustlikecorruptingand
fuckingstraightboys.Itturnsmeon.Andbeforeyoucallmeanasshole:I’malwayshonestwiththem.
Mostbi-curious‘straight’guyseventuallywanttogobacktotheirstraightlivesanyway,andIdon’t
dolong-termrelationships.Soit’sawin-winforeveryoneinvolved.Nostringsattached.”

“Whydon’tyoudolong-termrelationships?You’rethirty-three.”
“And?”Rutledgesaid.“I’mnotthekindofmanwhowantsthewhitepicketfenceand2.5kids.”
ShawnglancedatEmilyandBee.“Idon’tknow,”hesaidslowly.“Ialwaysthoughtgayguys

weren’tmuchdifferentfromstraightguysandwouldwanttosettledowneventually.EvenChristian
wantsthat.”

“Christian?”Rutledgelookedslightlypuzzled.
Shawnfrowned.“Mybestfriend?”
“Ah.YoumeanAshford.”
“Seriously?Youdon’tknowhisname?”
“WhywouldIwanttoknowhisfirstname?He’smystudent.”
“I’myourstudent,too,Professor.”
Rutledgelookedathim,thecornerofhismouthtwitchingup.“WhosaysIknowyourfirst

name,Wyatt?”

Shawnlaughedsoftly.“Okay.Foryourinformation,it’sSimon.”
“No,itisn’t.”
“A-ha!”
Shakinghishead,Rutledgelookedbackattheroad.“Iobviouslyknowyourname,butIdon’t

thinkofyouasShawn.”

“Fairenough.Idon’tthinkofyouasDerek,either.”Evensayingthenamealoudwasabit

strange,actually.Shawnrolledthenameonhistongue.Derek.Nope.RutledgewasRutledge.Shawn
wouldbeveryworriedthedayhestartedthinkingofRutledgeasDerek.

“I’mgladweunderstandeachother,”Rutledgemurmured,ahintofamusementinhisvoice.

“Nowcomehereandkissme.”

Shawnblinked.“What?You’redriving.”
“I’llkeepmyeyesopen,”Rutledgesaiddryly,withoutlookingathim.
“Areyouserious?”

“YoushouldknowbynowI’malwaysserious.I’mlosingmypatience.”
ShawnlookedatRutledge’slipsandsaid,“Okay.”
Hescootedover.
Rutledgeturnedhisheadslightly,puthishandonShawn’snapeandkissedhim.Shawnsighed

andstartedsuckingonRutledge’stongue.

After…sometimelater,RutledgebitShawn’sbottomlipforthelasttimeandpushedhimaway.
“Youshouldletmefuckyou,”hesaidgrimly.
Leaningbackinhisseat,Shawnwipedhiswet,swollenlipsandtookadeepbreath.Hisskinstill

burnedfromRutledge’sstubble.

Chapter8

Itwasdarkbythetimetheyarrived.
Astheygotoutofthecar,Shawnlookedupatthehouseandsaid,notwithouthumor,“Actually,

nowsomethingsaboutyouarestartingtomakeahorribleamountofsense.”Itwasanalmost
laughablemisnomertocallitahouse.Itwasavastmansionofclassicaldesign.

Beeclappedherhandsinexcitement.“Apalace!”
“Don’tbestupid,”Emilysaid,hertonesuperior.“Kingsandprincessesliveinpalaces.Our

countrydoesn’thaveloyalty.”

“Royalty,”Rutledgecorrectedher,lockingthecar.“Ifyou’regoingtocallsomeonestupid,

makesureyoudon’tmakemistakesyourself.”

BeebeamedatRutledgeandgrabbedhishand.“Ilikeyou,Mr.Rutledge!”
Rutledgestareddownatthetinygirlwithavaguelypuzzledexpressiononhisface,before

lookingatShawn.

Suppressingasmile,Shawnsaid,“LeaveMr.Rutledgealone,Bee.Comeon,takemyhand.”
BeepoutedbutletgoofRutledge’shandandtookShawn’s.Emilytookhisotherhandwhilea

fewservantscameouttotaketheirluggageinside.

“Idon’tlikehim,”Emilysaidastheywalkedtothehouse.
“Don’tberude,sweetie,”Shawnsaid,glancingatthemaninquestion,whowalkedalongside

them.“Mr.Rutledgecanhearyou.”

Rutledge’seyeswerefocusedonthehouse;heshowednosignoflisteningtotheconversation.
Shawnavertedhisgaze.Itwashardtobelievethatjustafewhoursago,hehadthis

immaculatelydressed,stern-facedmangruntingandmovingontopofhim.

“ButIdon’tlikehim,”Emilysaidstubbornlybutloweredhervoice.“Don’tlikehowhelooksat

you.”

“Howhelooksatme?”Shawnrepeated.
“LikeBeelooksatapancake.”
Shawnforcedoutasmile.Thiswasawholenewlevelofawkward.“Youjustimaginedit,

pumpkin.”

“But—”
“Youjustimaginedit,”Shawnrepeated,hopingRutledgehadn’theardEmily’swords.
Rutledge’sfacewashardandcold,devoidofallcolor.Thiswasamanwhowascominghome

tohisfatherandhisfamilyafterfifteenyears.Helookedaboutashappyasamanonhiswaytojail.

Abutler—agoddamnbutler—openedthedoorandgreetedRutledgewithaquiet,“Master

Derek.”

Shawnledthegirlsinside.Theylookedshyandnervous,andShawnhadtoadmithewasn’tany

lessnervousthanthem;hewassimplybetteratdisguisingit.

Hisfirstimpressionofthehallwasofvastness—ofmarbleandpillarsandclassicalbustsanda

toweringdome.

“Derek!”
Shawnlookedup.Atalldark-hairedwomanwaswalkingdownthestairs,avaguelyrelieved

smileonherlips.ShehuggedRutledgeandkissedhimonthecheek.

“Vivian,”Rutledgemurmured.“Youlookgood.”
Sothiswasthesisterwhohadconvincedhimtocome.
Shawneyedhercuriously.Hecouldcertainlyseethefamilyresemblance.Sheseemedafew

yearsolderthanherbrother,perhapsthirty-five.

VivianpulledbackandstaredatShawnandthegirlsoverRutledge’sshoulder,butbeforesheor

Shawncouldsayanything,twoelderlymenenteredthehouse.

Oneofthem,thetallerone,boreanuncannyresemblancetoRutledge.Infact,theycouldhave

beentwinsifthemanwasn’taboutthirtyyearsolder.ShawndecidedthismustbeRutledge’sfather,
JosephRutledge.

“Theprodigalsonreturns,”Josephsaidwithasneer.“Iknewthisdaywouldcome.”
“Thenyouwerewrong,”Rutledgesaidcoldly.“IcameonlybecauseVivianwouldn’tstop

naggingme.Apparently,you’repracticallyonyourdeathbed.”

“Derek!”Viviansaid,lookingoutraged.
“I’llhavetodisappointyou,then,”Josephsaid.“I’minexcellenthealth.”Hewaslying.Hehad

analmostgraytingetohiscomplexion.“Soyouwon’tgetmymoneyanytimesoon.”

“YouknowIdon’tneedyourmoney,”Rutledgesaid.
Theyglaredateachothericily,andtheresemblancetheysharedwasstriking.Shawnwondered

ifRutledgeknewitandresentedit.

Atthismoment,JosephshiftedhisgazetoShawn.
Hissharpdarkeyessweptoverhimfromheadtotoe,makingShawnpainfullyawareofhis

wornout,cheapclothes.

Rutledgesenior ’slipstwistedinderision.“Andthis?”
RutledgetookasteptowardShawnandputahandonhisshoulder.“Thisismylover,Shawn

Wyatt.”

Theotheroldmaninhaledsharply.
Joseph’sfacebetrayednothing,yetsomehow,thetemperatureintheroomseemedtodropa

dozendegrees.

Shawngrimacedontheinside,butitwasn’tasifhehadn’texpectedthat.
“Shawn,thisismyfather,JosephRutledge,”Rutledgesaid,hisvoiceuncharacteristicallysoft.

Theassholewasabsolutelyenjoyingthis.“Andmyfather ’soldfriend,NathanBrooks.”

“Nicetomeetyou,”Shawnlied,wonderingifMr.BrookswasthemanwhosedaughterJoseph

wantedhissontomarry.

“Isee,”Josephsaidatlastbeforeshiftinghisheavygazetothetwins.“Andtheseare?”
Shawnsuppressedtheurgetohidethegirlsbehindhisback.“Thesearemysisters,Mr.

Rutledge.EmilyandMelissa.”Foronce,Beeremainedquietanddidn’targueabouthername.Both
girlsmovedclosertoShawn.

“Isee,”JosephRutledgesaidagainbeforeaddressingamaid.“Prepareroomsforourguests.”
“Preparearoomnexttomineforthechildren,”Rutledgecutin.“ObviouslyShawnwillstayin

mine.”

Shawncringedabit.
TheveininJoseph’stemplethrobbed.Vivianwatchedherfatherworriedly.Mr.Brookshada

lookofdisgustonhisfacethathedidn’tbothertohide.

“Doashesays,”JosephRutledgebitout,breakingthesilence.“Showthemtotheirrooms.

Dinnerisinhalfanhour.Derek,aword.”

Shawnturnedtofollowthemaidwhenahandgrabbedhisarmandstoppedhim.
“I’llseeyoushortly,”Rutledgesaidandgavehimabriefkiss.

Oratleastitwasprobablysupposedtobeabriefkiss,butShawnfoundhislipsclingingand

parting,eager.HefeltRutledge’ssurprisebeforeRutledgegrabbedhisneckandkissedhimforreal.
Thekissseemedtogoonforever.

BythetimeRutledgefinallypulledback,Shawncouldbarelybreathe.
Shawndidn’tlookaroundtoseeeveryone’sreaction—hecouldwellimagineit.
Grabbingthegirls,hefollowedthemaid.
Hisfacewasverywarm.

Chapter9

Tosaythedinnerwasawkwardwouldbeanunderstatement.Itwasn’tjustawkward:itwas

painful.

ItwasonlytenminutesinandShawnwasalreadyglancingatthegrandfatherclockonthewall.
Thetoxicatmosphereintheroomwassothickitcouldbesliced.He’dneverseensomuch

passive-aggressivenessbetweenfamilymembers.NowShawnwasgladEmilyandBeehadn’tbeen
allowedtoeatwiththeadults.

Theannoyingpartwas,noonesaidanythingoutright;everythingwascarefullyhiddenbehind

blandsmilesandpolishedmanners.Andrew,Vivian’shusband,wastheonlyonewhoseemedtobe
strugglingtohidehisdislikeforhisbrother-in-law.

Rutledgedidn’tpayAndrewmuchmind,though;hismostcuttingremarkswerereservedforhis

father.Rutledgewasratherinfamousforhisruthlessnessincollege,butitwasnothingcomparedto
hisnastinesstowardshisfather.ShawnwouldhavefeltsorryforJosephRutledgeiftheoldman
wasn’tactuallyworse.Withinthefirsttenminutes,Josephhadmanagedtoinsulteverythingfromhis
son’sintelligencetohissexuality,histonefullofderisionandcontempt.

Watchingthem,ShawnwasbeginningtounderstandwhyRutledgehadlefthishomeandhadn’t

returnedinfifteenyears.HewasalsobeginningtounderstandwhyRutledgewassuchacontrolfreak.
Hisfather ’spersonalitywassodomineeringthathehadlikelydevelopedthesimilarneedtocontrol
everythingasadefensemechanism.

“Theydorealizehowmuchthey’realike,right?”ShawnmurmuredtoVivian,makingsurethat

Rutledge,whosatonhisotherside,couldn’thearhim.Vivianseemedtobetheonlyfriendlyfaceat
thetable.

Shesighed.“Ithinkthat’spartlywhytheyhateeachother,”shemurmured.“Thoughdeepdown,

theycareforoneanother.”

Shawnlookedatthefatherandsonsnipingateachotherandgaveheraskepticallook.
Viviansmiledhumorlessly.“Iknow,it’shardtobelieve,butFatherdoescareaboutDerek.”Her

eyesbecamedistant.“Whenwewerekids,Fatherusedtobeveryproudofhim.IusedtoenvyDerek.
Thingsbecame…difficultwhenFatherfoundoutaboutDerek’ssexuality,butI’msurehestillcares.If
hedidn’t,hewouldhavedisownedhimagesagoandcuthimoutofthewill.”Glancingather
husband,sheloweredhervoice.“Andrewisreallyangryaboutit.He’sbeenworkingatthefamily
companyforyearsandthinkshedeservestoinheritit.”

“Ah,”Shawnsaid.ThatexplainedAndrew’sanimositytowardsRutledge.
Speakingoftheman,AndrewchosethatmomenttoturntoShawnandask,“So,doyouwork?

Ordoesmybrother-in-lawpayyourbillsforspreadingyourlegsforhim?”

Silencedroppedoverthetable,andShawnfelthimselfflush.
Hecouldn’tbelieveAndrewhadactuallysaidthat.Andjudgingbytheuncomfortablelookthat

flashedoverAndrew’sface,hecouldn’tbelieveit,either.ButthenAndrewsethisjaw,looking
stubbornanddetermined:hemighthaveregrettedsayingit,butheclearlywasn’ttakingitback.

Shawnbithislip,unsurewhattosay.Andrew’swordshitabittooclosetohome.Ofcourseno

onehereknewthenatureofhisrelationshipwithRutledge,butnevertheless,itmadehimfeel

embarrassedandhumiliated.Shawnhadn’tcompletelycometotermswithithimself,andnow…he
feltlikeawhore.Itwasridiculous,butitwasthefirsttimehetrulyfeltit.Hehadn’tfeltlikeawhore
whenhesuckedRutledge’sdickformoney;hefeltlikeawhoreashesatinthisposhdiningroom
withallthesesnobbypeople.

“Apologize.”Rutledge.Itwasspokeninaquiet,steelyvoice,buteveryoneintheroomheard

him.

AndrewglaredatRutledge.“WhywouldI?Weallcanseehe’spoorandfuckingyoufor—”
“Youwillapologize,”Rutledgesaid,histonedangerouslysoft.
“Andrew,please,”Viviansaid,awkwardly.“Thatwasuncalledfor—”
“Apologize,”Rutledgesaidagain.
JosephRutledgewaswatchingtheexchangebetweenhissonandson-in-lawlikeahawk.
“It’sallright,”Shawnsaidlightly.
RutledgeignoredhimandcontinuedgloweringatAndrew,wholookedincreasingly

uncomfortable.“Hewillapologizeorwe’releaving.”

Shawnthoughtitwasanoddthreattomake,becauseAndrewwouldbeclearlydelightedifthey

left,butJosephRutledgefrowned.“Apologize,boy.Nooneinsultsmyguests.”

Exceptforyou,Shawnthought,notwithouthumor.
Andrewsaidstiffly,“MyapologiesifIoffendedanyone.Itwasn’tmyintention.”
Rutledgedidn’tlooksatisfiedintheleast,hisbodytenseandeyesnarrowed.
“Ifyoumustknow,”ShawntoldAndrew.“I’mastudent,andIworkpart-timeasawaiter.Yes,

Derekpaysmostofmybills.I’mnotashamedofthat.I’mluckytohavesuchasupportive,dependable
partner.”HelookedAndrewintheeye.“AndifI‘spreadmylegsforhim,’ithasnothingtodowithit,
andit’sdefinitelynoneofyourbusiness.”Shawnraisedhiseyebrows.“I’mnotsurewhyyoueven
broughtitup,Andrew.Unlessyou’reenvious.”

Hesmiledastheasshole’sfaceslowlyturnedred.Shawndidn’tevenmindthestunned,awkward

silencethatdescendedupontheroom.Hepickeduphisforkandstartedeatingagain,ignoring
everyone.

HecouldfeelRutledge’sgazeonhim.
Shawndidn’tturnhishead.

Chapter10

ShawnspentafewhoursplayingwithEmilyandBeeafterdinner.
Whenthetwinswerefinallyexhaustedandfellasleep,Shawnreturnedtohis—their—bedroom.
Itwasempty.
Unsureifhewasrelievedordisappointed,Shawngrabbedfreshclothesandtookalongshower.

Hestoodforawhilewiththewaterpouringoverhisnakedbodyandthoughtofthefactthathewas
goingtoshareabedwithRutledge.Allnight.

Shawnlookeddownathishalf-harddickandsighed.Thiswasallsoconfusing.Rutledgewasa

man.Hewasalsoonefuckedupasshole.Hecouldn’tpossiblybeexcitedaboutsharingabedwith
him.

Annoyedwithhisbody,Shawndriedhimself,dressed,andsteppedbackintothebedroom.
Atfirst,hethoughtRutledgewasstillelsewhere.Thenhespottedatallfigureoutonthebalcony.
Slowly,Shawnmadehiswaytowardsthedoor,sliditopenandsteppedoutintothenight.When

thechillyairhithim,heshiveredalittleandwrappedhisarmsaroundhimselftokeepwarm.Itwas
stillprettywarmforNovember,butitwasnotwarmenoughforonethinlayer.

Rutledgehadacigaretteinhishand.Hedidn’tturnhishead.
Shawnleanedagainstthebalconyrailings,mirroringRutledge’sposture.“He’sreallyill,you

know.”

HenoticedthesubtlestiffeningofRutledge’sshouldersonlybecausehewaswatchinghim

closely.

“Yes,”Rutledgesaidtonelessly.“He’sdying.”
Shawncouldn’tsayhewassurprised.
“I’msorry.”
Shrugging,Rutledgetookalongdragfromhiscigarette.“There’snolovelostbetweenus.”
Shawnlookedatthemoonasitpeekedoutfromtheclouds.“Whenmyparentsdied,theyleft

hugedebts.Thehousehadtobesoldtopayoffcreditors,soIendeduphomeless,barelylegal,and
withtwotoddlerstocarefor.SometimesIhatethem.Fordying,forbeingsoirresponsibleand
puttingmeinthisposition.”Hefelthisthroatthickenandhadtoswallowthelump.Breathinginthe
clearnightair,hetiltedhisfaceupwardtofeelthebreezebrushacrosshisskin.“ButImissthem.So
fuckingmuch.”

Rutledgedidn’tsayanything.
Somewhereinthedistance,anowlhooted.
“He’syourdad,”Shawnsaid.
Rutledgestubbedthecigaretteout.“Ididn’tbringyouheresothatyoucanlecturemeaboutthe

importanceoffamily.”Hisvoicewasclipped.Irritated.

“No.Youbroughtmeheretoannoyyourdadandproveyourpoint.Don’tyouthinkit’spetty

andnasty?”

“He’snovictim.Dyingdoesn’tmakehimlessofapieceofshit.”
“Itdoesn’t,”Shawnagreed.
“Andyouknownothingaboutourrelationship.”

“You’reright:Iknownothing.We’vealreadyestablishedI’mjustadumbprettyboy.”
Rutledgeturnedtohim.Shawncouldfeeltheheatofhisglareeveninthedark.
“You’reincrediblyannoying,”RutledgesaidbeforeyankingShawntohimandcrushingtheir

lipstogether.

Severalminuteslater,Shawnopenedhiseyesandsaid,“Thisisannoying,too.You’reusingmy

oralfixationthingagainstme.”

Rutledgekissedhimagain,andeverythingwentdizzy,hot,andoverwhelming.
Someunidentifiabletimelater,Shawnopenedhiseyesagainandfoundhimselflyinginbed.

Naked.AndRutledgewaslickinghisnipple.

“Wearen’thavingsex,”Shawnsaid.
“Ofcoursewearen’t,”Rutledgeagreed.Hewasnaked,too.
Shawn’sdazedgazeskimmedoverhisbroadshoulders,denselymuscledchest,andtaut

stomach,beforelingeringonhishardredcock.Hefelthismouthwater.

“No,seriously,”ShawntriedagainbutbithislipwhenRutledgewrappedahandaroundhis

erection.God.“Wearen’thavingsex.”

RutledgestrokedShawn’scockafewtimesbeforelettinggoandspreadingShawn’sthighs.
Shawntensed.
Rutledgestrokedhisinnerthighs,hishandsstrong,andbig,andsogood—
“Don’teventhinkaboutit,”Shawnmanaged.
“Justliebackandenjoy,Wyatt.”
Shawnlaughed.“Right.LikeIdon’tknowwhatyoureallywant.Youwanttostickyourdickin

me.”

Rutledge’seyesseemedblackastheymethis.“Idowantto‘stickmydick’inyou.Beforethe

nightisover,you’llwantmetostickmydickinyou,too.”

Shawnsnorted,lookingatRutledge’sthickcock.“There’snowayinhellI’llletthatthing

anywherenearmyass.”

“We’llsee.”Rutledge’sfingerpressedfirmlyagainstthespotbehindShawn’sballs,making

Shawngasp.“Ithinkyouwill.Andyou’lllookgoodonmycock.”

Shawnflushed.“Fuckyou.You’resuchanasshole.Bossyand—”
“Stoppretendingyoudon’tlikeit.”Rutledge’sbighandsstrokedShawn’sthighsagain.“You

likehavingsomeoneinchargeofyou.Youliketonothavetoberesponsibleforonceandtojustlet
go.”

Shawnopenedhismouthtoprotestbuthecouldn’tdenyit.HisdickseemedtolikeRutledge’s

bossinessawholelot.“Itdoesn’tmeanIwantyourdickinmyass.I’mnotevensurehowthat’s
supposedtofeelgood.There’snowayit’llfit.”

“It’llfit,don’tworry.”Rutledge’seyeslookeddazedwithlustastheyroamedoverShawn’s

nakedbody.“Imustfuckyou.Thesooner,thebetter.”

Shawnlickedhislips.“Idon’tthink—”
“Turnontoyourstomach,”Rutledgesaid.
“I—”
“Turnontoyourstomach,”Rutledgesaidagain,inthetoneofvoiceheusedinclassroom.
Shawn’scocktwitched.Herolledover,closedhiseyesandtoldhimselfhecouldstopRutledge

anymomentifthingsgottooweird.Hewould.

Handskneadedandstrokedhisassbeforesomethingwetandsofttouchedhisbuttock.
Shawntensed.“Wait—”
“Relax,you’lllikeit.Allstraightboyslikeit.”Rutledgechuckleddarkly.“Don’tworry,itwon’t

makeyougay.”

Shawnfoundhimselfblushing.“Um,Ihadashower,andI’mclean,but—”
“Youhaveabeautifulass.”Rutledgebithisbuttock.“I’vewantedtodothistoyouforages.”
Rutledge’slipscloseddownaroundhiswrinkledopeningandsucked,andShawn’sbraingave

upthebattle.

Rutledge’stonguepressedforward,tracingaroundhisholebeforegivingitalonglick,and

Shawnmoaned,histhighsspreadingwideroftheirownvolition.Christ,nothingshouldfeelthis
good.

Soft,andslick,hefeltRutledge’stonguelickinghim,lappingathisholewithabandon.Then

Rutledge’sthumbsheldhimopentotheassault.

Fuck.Rutledge’stongueworkedintohimslowly,pointingandgivingsoftjabsathiscenter,

partingthemuscle,coaxingittorelax,slidinginside.Eatinghimout.Sofilthy,sowrong,butShawn
madeanoisethatsoundedsuspiciouslylikeasob,ruttingagainstthemattress,hiscockrockhardand
throbbing.

“More,”hegasped,shiftinghisbodyuntilhewasonhisknees,legsspreadandheadhunglow.

ThestubbleonRutledge’sfacescratchedthesoftfleshofhisbuttocks,intensifyingthesensationsand
remindinghimonceagainthatitwasamanlickinghishole.Itwashisprofessoreatinghimout.

Thethoughtsentarushofbloodtohiscockandhewhimpered,pushingbackagainstRutledge’s

mouthasRutledgefuckedhimwithhistongue.Itwasn’tenough.Hisholefeltoversensitive,
clenchingforsomethinghardtograbholdof.

Theymovedtogether,thatwickedtonguetryingtogetdeeperintohimwitheveryforward

thrust.Hewaswhimperingandshakingsobadly,onedgeandunabletocome.Heached,and
Rutledge’stonguewasn’tbigenough,couldn’tgetdeepenough,andShawnneededmore.“More.”

Rutledgepulledawayfromhim,andthentherewereslickfingersmassagingShawn’sentrance

withacircularmotion,andShawnmoaned.Hewashavingtroublethinking,hisbodytakingoverand
tryingtoimpaleitselfonRutledge’sfingers.Rutledgepushedthefingersin—one,thenanother,
scissoringthemquicklybeforepullingthemoutagain.

Panting,Shawnwaited.Heheardthesoundofacondomwrappertearingopen.Itshouldhave

madehimpanic—whatwasabouttohappen—buthewaspastthepointoffreakingout.Hewasso
empty.Sohard.

Rutledgeflippedhimontohisback.ShovingapillowunderShawn’ships,helinedhimselfup

betweenhislegs,hisdarkeyesglazedwithdesire.

ShawnwilledhimselftorelaxasthethickheadofRutledge’scockslowlystartedtostretchhim.

Hefelthimselfpulledtaut,burning,asRutledgeslowlypushedintohim,Shawn’sinsidesreluctantly
givingwaytotheintrusion.

“Oh,”ShawnbreathedoutwhenRutledgewasfullyinside.HegrippedRutledge’sarms,his

thighstrembling.Ithurt.Ofcourseithurt.

Rutledgetookadeepbreathin,hismusclesrigidunderShawn’sfingers.Rutledge’sbodywas

tenseashell,asthoughhewasfightingforcontrol.

Shawn’seyesflutteredshut,mouthfallingopenashepantedhotly.Hewaspracticallyimpaled

onRutledge’scock,pleasurechasingthepainashewasstretchedtohislimit.Hefeltsofull,
Rutledge’scockheavyinsidehiminalltherightways.Itstillached,creatinganexquisiteagonythat
madehiscockthrobandleakagainsthisstomach.Thesensationoffullnesswassatisfyinginawayhe
couldn’texplain.

“I’mgood,”Shawnsaid,andtohissurprise,hewas.Theintensity,thefeelingofvulnerability

wasdoingstrangethingstohim,andhewasmelting,andhewanted—

Rutledgestartedmoving.
Shawncouldonlyopenandclosehismouthuselesslyastheweird,intensepleasurestarted

buildingup.

Rutledge’scocknudgedagainsthisprostate,hard,andShawncriedout,fingersdigginginto

Rutledge’sshoulders.“Ohgod,ohgod,”hemutteredbetweenunintelligiblewordsandnoisesas
Rutledgethrustinandout,fuckinghiminearnestnow.Itstillhurt,butShawncouldonlyconcentrate
ontheintense,maddeningpleasurebuildingupinsideofhim.Hewasachingallover,needpumping
inhimasRutledge’scockburieddeepinhim,butnotdeepenough,neverenough,anditwasgood,so
good,soverygood—

Tossinghisheadback,ShawnbithislipasRutledgepracticallybenthiminhalf,directinghis

cockatananglethatmadeShawnwhimper.

Rutledgeleaneddownandstartedkissinghimintimewithhisthrusts,histonguedelvingdeeply,

andallShawncoulddowasholdonandridewiththestorm.Hecompletelylosttrackoftime,his
wholeworldnarrowingtoRutledge—Derek—hishotmouth,hiscock,hishandsroamingallover
Shawn’sbody.Shawnwasn’tevenspeakinganymore,justtakingitandmoaning.Hisholewas
twitchingaroundRutledge’scockasRutledgepoundedintohimwithoutrestraint,kissingandbiting
Shawn’sneckandshoulders.Shawn’sdickwasnearburstingandhetriedtotouchhimself,but
Rutledgedidn’tlethim.

Shawncouldfeelhisbellytightening,feelhisholebegintopulse,throbbingdownaroundthe

hardcockthatcontinuedtofuckhim,neverlettingup,takinghisbreathandhissanityandhis
inhibitions.

Shawngroaned,digginghisfingersintoRutledge’sshoulders.“Ican’t—”
“Youcan.”RutledgegaveabrutalthrustagainstShawn’sprostate,hisfingersgrippingShawn’s

hipspainfully.“Comeon.”

AndShawncame,hisbodyshudderingashisorgasmrippedthroughhim.
Rutledgeslammedintohimafewtimesbeforegroaningandgoingverystillontopofhim.
Shawnlaylimplyunderhim,hisbreathingstillerratic,hisbodyquiveringinaftershocks.
Hefelthimselfdriftofftosleep,feelingwarm,goodandsatisfied.

Chapter11

WhenShawnwokeup,hewasalone.Judgingbythesunlightcomingthroughthewindow,itwas

abouteightinthemorning.

Yawning,hesatupandstretched,tryingtogatherhisthoughts.
Lastnight’seventsseemedbizarreandsurreal.Ifhisbodydidn’tacheandhisassdidn’thurt,he

wouldhavethoughtitwasjustadream.

Butitwasn’tadream.
He’dhadrealsexwithRutledge.He’dhadRutledge’sdickinhim.
Lickinghislips,Shawnclimbedoutofthebed,wincingabitasthemovementsentafreshwave

ofdullpainthroughhisass,andwalkedtothemirror.

Hewascoveredinbruises.
Shawnstaredatthefinger-shapedbruisesonhishipsandthighsandtriedtodecidewhetherhe

wasfreakingoutornot.Hewas,abit,butnotbecauseofthewholegaything.Sure,hehadnever
expectedtohavesexwithaman,butgaysexinitselfdidn’tbotherhimthatmuch—atleastnottothe
pointofpanickingandbeinghysterical.Hisparentsweregone,andhisbestfriendwasbi,sothere
wasnoonetojudgehim—noonehecaredabout.

WhatdidbotherShawnwasthefactthathe’dhadsexwithRutledge.Itwasn’tinthedeal.Sure,

Rutledgehadbeenprettybossyanddeterminedtofuckhim,butShawncouldhaveeasilyrefused.
Couldhaveeasilystoppedhim.Buthehadn’t.Thatfreakedhimout.

Nottomentiontheintensityofsexhadbeenalmostscary.Scarygood.
Bitinghislip,Shawnranafingeroverthebruiseonhiship.Hisskintingled.
Thebathroomdoorsuddenlyopened,andShawnjumpedalittle.
Rutledgesteppedoutofthebathroom,buttoninguphisshirt.Hecametoahaltatthesightof

Shawn,andShawnhadtosuppresstheurgetocoverhimselfwithhishands.Heforcedhisbodyto
relax,tellinghimselfnottoberidiculous.HehadnothingRutledgehadn’tseenalreadylastnight.

SomethingflashedacrossRutledge’sfacebeforeitclosedoff,hisfeaturesbecominghardand

distant.“Howmuchdoyouwant?”

“What?”
“Howmuchdoyouwantforlastnight?”
Shawnsuckedinasharpbreath.“HowmuchdoIwant?”herepeated.
Rutledgewalkedtothedeskandpickeduphiscellphone.“Yes.Nameyourprice.”
Shawnstaredathiswideback.“Price.”
“Yes,price,”Rutledgesaid,anedgeofirritationcreepingintohisvoice.“What’ssohardto

understand?”

Hisstomachclenching,Shawnpickeduphisdiscardedboxersandslippedthemon,ignoringthe

discomfortinhisass.Hewantedashower—hefeltdirty—buthedidn’twanttoremainnakedand
vulnerable.

“Fivethousand,”hesaid.ThathadtomakeRutledgeangry,right?
Apause.
“Fine.”

Apparentlynot.
Shawnwouldhavelaughed,excepttheknotinhisstomachrose,becomingatightlumpinhis

throatandmakinghimvaguelysick.

Withoutaword,hemadehiswaytothebathroomandshutthedoorveryquietly.
Leaningbackagainstit,Shawnclosedhiseyes.
Thedoorwascoldagainsthisskin.

***

Along,hotshowerclearedhishead.
BythetimeShawnemergedoutofthebathroom,heknewwhattodo,butRutledgewasgone.

ShawnwasabouttocallhimwhenhenoticedRutledge’scellphoneonthedesk.Sighing,Shawnwent
tocheckonthetwins,buttheywerestillasleep,sohedecidedtogofindRutledge.Thesoonerhegot
itoverwith,thebetter.

Afteraboutfifteenminutesofwandering,Shawnfinallyadmittedhehadnocluewherehewas

anymore.Thiswingofthemansionwascompletelyunfamiliartohim,andhecouldn’tfindany
servantstotellhimwhereRutledgewas.

Themansionwasalmosteerilyquiet.Theplacewasluxurious,butitfeltlikeamuseum,not

someone’shome.Shawnwonderedwhatitwouldhavebeenliketogrowupthere,andachillranup
hisspine.

Enteringyetanotherroom,ShawnfrozeuponseeingJosephRutledgeseatedbehindahuge

desk.

“Sorry,”Shawnsaid,takingastepback.“Ididn’tmeanto—”
“Asamatteroffact,Iwantedtospeaktoyou,Mr.Wyatt.”
“Me?”Shawnlookedathimwarilybutsteppedbackintotheroomandclosedthedoor.
Joseph’sthickgrayeyebrowsdrewtogether.“Indeed.Takeaseat.”
Shawnsatdowninthechairoppositetheoldmanandwaited.
Thesilencestretchedastheyeyedeachother.
Onceagain,ShawnwastakenabackbyhowmuchJosephRutledgeandhissonresembledeach

other.Itappearedthemeninthisfamilyagedverywell.ThiswaswhatRutledgewouldlooklikein
thirtyorfortyyears.NotthatShawnwouldseeit.

“Mr.Wyatt,”JosephRutledgesaidatlastwhenShawnrefusedtodrophisgaze.“Forhowlong

haveyoubeeninthisunnaturalrelationshipwithmyson?”

ShawnhadtoremindhimselfthatJosephRutledgewasveryill.Heshouldn’tbegettinginto

argumentswithadyingman.“Lessthanamonth,sir.”

“Thatmakesiteasier.”JosephRutledgepickedupapenandwrotesomethingonapieceof

paperbeforeslidingitacrossthedesktoShawn.“Ibelievethiswouldbeafaircompensationfor
endingyourassociationwithmyson.”

Shawnglancedatthepaperandthenstaredatit.
“Wow,I’mflatteredyouvaluemesohighly,”hesaidandstoodup.“Thanksbutnothanks.”
“You’reafool,boy,”saidtheoldmanwithadisdainfullook.“Hewillthrowyouawayinafew

weeksatmost.Healwaysdoes.”

“Howdoyouknowthat?Youhadn’tseenhiminfifteenyears.”

Josephsneered.“Hemightnotlivehereanymore,butitchangesnothing.Iknoweverything

abouthim.Everytoyhehadandthrewaway.Granted,therewereafewpersistentones,buteverybody
hasaprice.”

Whenhismeaningregistered,Shawnfeltsicktohisstomach.“You’resick,”hewhispered.

“Doesheknowyoupaidhisloversoff?”

Josephraisedaneyebrow.“Ofcoursehedoes.He’smyson.He’snofool—exceptforhis

foolishinsistencethatheishomosexual.”

Shakinghishead,Shawnstoodupandheadedtothedoor.Therewasnoreasoningwiththis

man.

Whenheopenedthedoor,Joseph’svoicestoppedhim,
“Nameyourprice,Mr.Wyatt.Everythinghasaprice.”
“Somethingsdon’t.”Shawnwalkedout.
Everybodyhasaprice.
SothiswaswhatJosephRutledgehadtaughthisson.
Shawnwasn’tsurewhohepitiedmoreatthismoment:Rutledge,hisfatherorhimself.

Chapter12

HefinallyfoundRutledgeontheterracehalfanhourlater.
“I’mgoinghome,”Shawnsaid.
Rutledge’sbackstiffened.Heturnedaround,acigaretteinhishand.
Strange.Untilyesterday,Shawnhadthoughthedidn’tsmokeatall.
Rutledgetookalongdrag,studyinghimwithanunreadableexpression.“Why?We’resupposed

toleavetomorrow.”

“Italkedtoyourfather.”
Foramoment,Rutledgewentverystillbeforeasardonicsmileappearedonhisface.“How

muchdidheofferyou?”

“Alot.Onlyanidiotwouldrefuse.”
Rutledgeturnedaway.“Congratulations.Theeasiestmoneyyou’veevermade.”
Shawneyedhisstraightback.“Well,we’vealreadyestablishedI’mdumb,didn’twe?”
Apause.
Rutledgeletoutalaugh.“Youshouldhavetakenthemoney,Wyatt.”
“Idon’tlikehim.”
Rutledgeturnedaroundagainandgroundouthiscigarettewithhisshoe.“Noonelikeshim.It’s

notagoodenoughreasonnottoacceptthemoney.Weknowitwouldhavemadenodifference.”

“Weknowit,buthedoesn’t.”Shawncockedhishead.“Areyoureallyokaywithmeaccepting

hismoney?HethinksI’myourboyfriend.”

Rutledge’slipstwisted.“MyfatherhasbeenpayingmyboyfriendsoffeversinceIwasfifteen.

Youwouldn’thavebeenthefirst.Theoldman’sstubbornenoughtothinkI’llmarryanicelittlegirl
ifheputsanendtoeveryrelationshipItrytohave.ThoughI’mabitsurprisedthistime.Usuallyhe
bothersonlyiftheguylastsmorethanamonth—whichdoesn’thappenthatoften.”

Shawnstaredathim.“Youcan’tmeanallofthemacceptedhismoney.”
“No.Notallofthem.Butmost.”
TherewasablandmaskofindifferenceonRutledge’sface,andShawnhadtocurlhishandsinto

fistsandlookaway,tryingtoshakeofftheurgetotouchhim.

“Yousaidheremindedyouofme,”Rutledgesaid.“Buthetakesittoawholenewlevel.He

doesn’tknowwhentostop.”

“Yeah,”Shawnmurmured.“He’sanarrow-minded,self-absorbed,high-handedasshole,andhe

fuckedyouup.Butitdoesn’texcuseyouwhenyouactlikeadick.Andifyoukeepbeingso
insensitiveandkeeptreatingpeoplelikepawns,you’llturnintohim.Doyouwantthat?”

“Ididn’tbringyoualongsoyoucouldpsychoanalyzeme.”
“No,youdidn’tbringmealongforthat,”Shawnsaid,hisvoicequiet.“ButI’mdone.”
Rutledge’sgazesharpened.“What?”
“I’mabitsickofbeingtreatedlikeacheapwhorebyyourfamily.”
“Iwouldn’tcallyoucheap,”Rutledgesaid,hisvoiceclipped.
Shawnlaughedsoftly.“Okay,maybeIdeserveit.Ineededmoneyandwasn’tproudenoughto

sayno,butI’mkindasickofitnow.That’sit,Professor.”

Heturnedtoleave,butRutledgecrossedthedistancebetweentheminafewstridesandgrabbed

hisarm.“Youcan’tleave.Wehaveadeal.”

Shawnlookedathim,ignoringRutledge’spainfulgriponhisarm.“Wehadadeal.I’mendingit

now.IthinkImorethanearnedthemoneyyoupaidmeforthistrip.Youcankeepthemoneyforlast
night’ssex.Onthehouse.”

Hetriedtoyankhishandfree,butRutledge’sgriponlytightened.“Youcan’tjustdecideto

leave.”

“Whynot?Whydoyouevenmind?”Hissmiledbrightly.“Didn’tyousayyougetboredof

straightguysafteryoufuckthem?Luckyforyou,then.”

Rutledge’slipspressedintoathinline.Hisgrasploosened.
Yankinghisarmfree,Shawnstrodeaway.

***

BythetimeShawnmanagedtodressthegirlsandgetthemoutofthehouse,Rutledge’scarwas

waitingforthem.

Shawnstaredoutthewindowformostofthedrive,feigninginterestinthescenerypassingby.

Thetwinsweredoingallthetalking.Hedidn’tlookatRutledge,butthetensionintheairbetween
themwaspalpable,andthesheeramountofangerandfrustrationwasoverwhelming.Shawnwasn’t
evensurewhy.Itwasn’tlikeRutledgewashisexorsomething;itwasn’tliketheyhadbeendating;
therewasnoreasonthisshouldaffecthim.Hehadsuckedhisprofessor ’sdickforafew
weeks(granted,notsomethinghewasproudof),hadbeendraggedalongtoannoyJosephRutledge
andgotpaidhandsomelyforit.Hewasfinallydonewhoringhimselfout,andnowhehadafew
monthstofindabetterjobwithoutworryingaboutthebillseveryday.Soeverythingwasfine.Great.
Fantastic,actually.

Yetitwassuchareliefwhenthecarfinallystoppedinfrontofhisbuilding.
IttookShawnafewminutestogetthegirlsoutofthecar.RutledgealreadyhadShawn’ssuitcase

out.

“Thanks,I’lltakeitnow,”Shawnsaid,withoutlookingathim.
“Don’tbesilly,”Rutledgesaid,walkingtowardthebuilding.“Youdon’thavethreehands.”
“Thegirlsdon’tneedmetocarrythem.They’reoldenoughtowalk.”
Rutledgeignoredhim,ofcourse.Ofcourse.
“Wecanwalk,”Emilyconfirmed.
“ButIwannabecarried,”Beesaid.
ShawnglaredatRutledge’sbackandpickedupthegirls.“Youdon’tevenknowwhereyou’re

going.”

“Iknowyouraddress.I’mcapableoffiguringoutwhereyourapartmentis.”
Scowling,Shawncouldonlyfollowhim,albeitreluctantly.
Whentheyreachedhisapartment,Shawnhesitated.Hedidn’twantRutledgetoseeit.Itwasn’t

thathewasembarrassedofit—fine,maybehewasembarrassedofit.

HeopenedthedoorandusheredthegirlsinsidebeforeclosingitandturningtoRutledge.

Rutledgesetthesuitcasedown,hisexpressionstony.
“I…”Shawnsaid,shiftingslightlyonhisfeet.“I’llseeyouaround,Iguess.”
Rutledgenoddedcurtly.Buthedidn’tmove.
Shawnclearedhisthroat,hookinghisthumbsinhishippocketsandrockingbackonhisheels.

“Thanks,bytheway.”

“Forwhat?”
“ForhelpingmefigureoutI’mnotstraight.”
“What?”Rutledgesaid,almostwithoutinflection.
“Yeah.Incaseyoucouldn’ttell,Ilikedhavingsexwithaman.”Shawnsmiledfaintly.“Ididn’t

expectit,butIdid.Alot.So…Ihavemoreoptionsnow.IguessIshouldthankyouforthat.”

“Options,”Rutledgesaid.
“Yep.”Shawnrubbedthebackofhisneck.“Icandateguystoonow.”
SomethingchangedinRutledge’sexpression,butitwasgonebeforeShawncouldfigureout

whatitwas.

“Youcan,”Rutledgeagreed,pushinghishandsintothepocketsofhisjacket.
Damn.Whywasitsoweird,andawkward—andwhateverthehellitwas?
Shawnwassurehewasn’timaginingthetension,thefrustrationintheair,yetRutledge’sface

betrayednothing.AnditpissedShawnoff.Hewantedtoshakehim.Hewantedtoshockhim.

Sohesaid,“Youknow,Iactuallycan’twaittofindoutifsexwithotherguyswillbedifferent.

It’sallnewandveryexciting.”

Rutledgelookedasideforamomentbeforeasmileformedonhisface.“Areyoutryingto

makemejealous,Wyatt?Idon’tdojealousy.Jealousyisforinsecuremenwithsmalldicksandlow
self-esteem.Andyouhavetocaretobejealous.Idon’t.”

Shawnbristledattheimplications.“WhywouldIwanttomakeyoujealous?Idon’tlikeyou.

Yourfamilyishorrible,you’reanass,you’rebeyondfuckedup,andyou’reacommitment-phobe.
Andyoudon’tlikechildren—whichisobviouslyabigdealforme.You’reeverythingIdon’twant.”

“Good.”Rutledgeglaredathim.
TheirgazesclashedandarushofcarnalhungerslammedintoShawnwithaforcethatstolehis

breath.

Hisfingerstrembling,Shawnfoundthedoorknobbehindhimandstumbledintotheapartment.
Shuttingthedoor,Shawnleanedagainstit,breathinghard.
Fuck.

Chapter13

“Idon’tgetit,”Christiansaidaweeklater,lookingathimfromacrossthetableatthecampus

cafeteria.“Whyishesuchanassholetoyou?Imean,he’salwaysanasshole,butlatelyhe’sbeena
superassholewhenitcomestoyou.”

Shawnsuppressedasigh.Christianwasright,ofcourse.Rutledgehadbeentreatinghimlikeshit

theentireweek.Notthatitcameasacompletesurprise.

“Seriously,didyoukillhiscat?Or—orleaveabloodychickenonhisdoorsteporsomething?”

Christianshookhishead.“Therehastobesomeexplanation.It’sgettingridiculous.Peopleare
startingtotalk.”

Shawn’scoffeecuppausedhalfwaytohismouth.“Talk?”
“Nevermind.”Christiangrimaced,lookingabituncomfortable.“Justsomestupidrumors.”
“Whatrumors,Chris?”
Christiantookasipfromhiscoffee.“Somethinkit’ssuspiciousthatRutledgedidn’tgiveyoua

failingmidtermgrade.”

Shawnstoppedbreathing.“What?”
“Somesayyoublackmailedhimintogivingyouapassinggrade.Itoldyouit’sstupid.”
Shawnrelaxed,leaningbackinhischair.“Yeah.Stupid.”
“Actually,itisabitstrange,don’tyouthink?Ithoughthe’dfailyouforsure.Buthedidn’t,and

nowhe’satotalassholetoyou.Thewholethingisweird.”Christiangavehimaprobinglook.“You
sureyouaren’thidingsomethingfromme?”

Shawnfeltapangofguilt.Hetookagulpofhiscoffeeandlookedathiscup.“Maybe.”
“Allright,spill,”Christiansaid,traininghiseyesonhim.
Shawnbegantracingtherimofthecupwithhisfinger,followingitsshape.“I…rememberthe

adviceyougaveme?OnRutledge?”

Christianchuckled.“Youmeanflirting?”
“Rutledgedidn’tgivemeapassinggradebecausehetookpityonme,Chris.”
Christian’seyebrowsfurrowed;thenhisjawdropped.“Noway.Youactuallyfollowedmy

advice?”

Shawngrimaced.“Notexactly.”Helookeddownatthesandwichonhisplateandpulledatthe

cheesestickingoutattheedges.“Ididmorethanflirting.”

Aclangmadehimlookup.Christianhaddroppedhisforkandwasnowlookingathimwith

wideeyes.“You’rekidding.”

“Iwish.”
Christianglancedaroundandthenmovedhischaircloser.“Sowhatdidhemakeyoudo?”
“Whatdoyouthink?Notahand-jobforsure.”
“Holyshit.Yousuckedhimoff?”
Shawnnoddedcurtly.
Christianletoutashortlaugh.“Wow,Ineverthoughtyou’dactuallyflirtwithhim,muchless...

So,whatwasitlike?Imean,wereyougrossedout?”Hesippedhiscoffee.

Shawnwastemptedtosayyes.Itwouldhavemadeeverythingsimpler.Buthecouldn’tbring

himselftolie.

“No,”Shawnsaid.“Itwasokay.Eventhefirsttime.”
Christianchokedonhiscoffeeandstartedcoughing.
“Thefirsttime?”hesaidwhenthecoughingfinallysubsided.“Youmeanyoudiditmorethan

once?Ishestillforcingyoutodoitforagrade?”

Shawnwonderedwhetherwhoringhimselfoutforagradewasbetterthanwhoringhimselfout

formoney.Hewasn’tsure.

“Look…”Shawnranahandoverhiseyes.“Idon’treallywanttotalkaboutit.Yeah,it’dbeen

goingonforafewweeks,buttheimportantthingis,it’sovernow.Iendedthedeal.”

“Butdidyou,youknow…didyoufuckhim?”
“Yeah,”Shawnsaid,strugglingtokeephisvoicecasual.“Ifuckedhim.Well,hefuckedme.”
Christiangrinned,browneyesdancingwithmischief.“Howwashe?Anygood?”
Smilingcrookedly,Shawnshookhishead.“Comeon,dowehavetotalkaboutit?”
“Ofcoursewehavetotalkaboutit!YouhadsexwithRutledge!Rutledge!”
“Hush,”Shawnhissed,glancingaround.“Idon’twanttotalkaboutit.Nothingtotalkabout.It

didn’t—itdidn’tsuck,butobviouslyI’mgladthewholethingisover.”

HefeltChristian’seyesonhim,unusuallyseriousandassessing.
Shawnfidgetedunderhisscrutiny.“What?”
“Thenwhyishesopissedatyouifit’sover?”Christiansaid,drumminghisfingersonthetable.
Shawnhadanideawhy,butitwasn’tsomethinghewantedtothinkabout.“Noidea.”
Christiangavehimaskepticallook,butdidn’tpressanyfurtherandlookeddownathiscup.He

fellsilent,adistant,thoughtfulexpressiononhisface.

Shawneyedhisfriend.Cometothinkofit,Christianhadbeenabitdistractedallday.

“Somethingwrong?”

Christianlookedup.“Notreally.Just…youknowMila?”
“Mila?”
“ThegirlinRutledge’sclass?Verypretty,curvy,darkhair?”
Shawnshrugged.“It’sabigclass.Can’tsayIrememberher.Sowhatabouther?”
“Sheinvitedmeforathreesome.”
Shawnraisedhiseyebrows.“Andwhat’stheproblem?It’snotlikeyou’veneverdone

threesomesbefore.”TherewasverylittleChristianhadn’tdone,actually.Hisfriendgotsomanylewd
offerssometimesitgotsilly.Theguydidn’tevenhavetotry.IfChristianwasn’tsodamnlikable,all
guyswouldhatehim.

“Theproblemisherboyfriend,”Christiansaid.
“Whatabouthim?Youknowhim?”
Christianhesitated.“Notexactly.ButI’veseenhimaround.Healwayspicksherupafterschool.”
Shawnsnortedalaugh,finallyrealizingwhohisfriendwastalkingabout.“Thestraightguy

you’vebeencrushingonforages?”

“Comeon,Idon’thaveacrushonhim,”Christiansaidwithalopsidedsmile.“Idon’teven

knowhisname.”

Shawngavehimalookthatsaid,Please.“Yup,youdon’thaveacrushonhim.Youjuststareand

droolwheneveryouseehim.”

“Idon’t.”
“Youdo.”
Christianlaughed.“Fine.Maybe.Justatinyone.Butcomeon,whodoesn’t?Allgirlsstareat

himanddroolwheneverhecomes.Theguyisridiculouslygood-looking.”

“Sowhat’stheproblem?”Shawnsaid.“Shouldn’tyoubehappyyou’llgettohavesexwith

him?”

Christianlookedathimlikehewasanidiot.“He’sstraight.It’snotgoingtobethatkindof

threesome.We’lljustsharehisgirlfriend;that’sall.MaybeI’mwrong,butIgotthefeelingthe
threesomeisentirelyMila’sidea—shealwaysflirtswithme,andIdon’tthinkheevenknowsIexist.I
don’tthinktheguyisalltoohappyaboutherinvitingmetojointhem.Idon’tknow…Igetthe
impressionhe’sthepossessivetype.”

“Atinycrush,yup,”Shawnteased.“Verytiny.”
Christian’searsturnedred.“Oh,shutit.Anyway,that’stheproblem:I’mnotsurethisthreesome

isagoodidea.Theguywillprobablyhatemygutsfortouchinghisgirl.”

“Thentellheryoucan’tdoit.”
“IalreadytoldherIwould.”Christiangavehimasheepishlook.“Couldn’tresistthechanceto

seehimnaked.”

Shawnshookhishead.“You’rehopeless,man.”
Christiangrinned.“AtleastI’mnotfuckingProfessorAsshole.Comeon,tellmehehasatiny

dick!Itwouldmakemyday!”

Shawnrolledhiseyes,shakinghishead.“Hedoesn’thaveatinydick.AndI’mnotfuckinghim

anymore.We’redone.”

Heliftedhiscupandbroughtittohislips,avoidingChristian’seyes.Hethoughtabouttheway

Rutledgehadlookedathimbackinclass:angryandsodamnintenseitmadehiminstantlyhard.He
thoughtabouthowhe’dspenthalfoftheclassfantasizingaboutdroppingtohiskneesbefore
Rutledgeandsuckinghisdick,rightthere,infrontofallotherstudents.Hethoughtabouthisother
fantasies:howhewantedtoclimbintoRutledge’slap,shuthimupwithkissesandthengetRutledge’s
cockinsideofhim—

“Youallright?”Christiansaid.“Youlookflushed.”
Shawnforcedoutasmile.“Yeah.I’mfine.”
Justpeachy.

Chapter14

Shawn’scousinSagelivedinalessthansafepartofthecity.ItwaspartlywhyShawndidn’tsee

himmuch.Theotherreasonwasthathiscousinhadbeenweirdashellafterhehadbeenreleased
fromprisonsixmonthsago:heseemeddepressedanddistant,likehewasn’teventhere.Atfirst
Shawnattributedittohisaunt’sdeath—shehaddiedwhileSagewasstillinprison—butitdidn’tseem
tobethecase.Insteadofgettingbetter,hiscousinseemedonlymoredepressedastimewenton.
Shawnwasworriedabouthim,ofcourse,buttruthbetold,hehadmorepressingproblemstothink
aboutanddidn’thavetimetovisithiscousin.

Butsincehe’dhadtodropthekidsatMrs.Hawkins’splacebeforehisnightshift,Shawndecided

tomakeasmalldetourandfindouthowSagewasdoing.

Hiscousingreetedhimwithagrin.“Hey,comeonin,”hesaid,openingthedoorwider.
IttookShawnamomenttorecoverfromhissurprise.“Youlookgood,”hesaid,pattinghimon

theshoulderandenteringtheapartment.Sagelookedgreatactually;he’dalwaysbeenthebetter-
lookingoneoutofthetwoofthem.Theymightsharetheirmoms’blondhairandblueeyes,butthat
waswherethesimilaritiesended.Hiscousin’sfeatureswerefarmoredelicate—hell,downright
exquisite.IfChristianhadseenSage,hewouldnevercallShawntheprincessanymore.

ItactuallymadeShawnwonder,andnotforthefirsttime,whethersomething…hadbeendoneto

hiscousininprison.Iftherumorsaboutwhathappenedinprisonweretrue,withafacelikethis…
Shawnshuddered.

“Howarethegirls?”Sageasked,pullinghimawayfromhisthoughts.
“Good.Ihavethenightshifttonight,soIjustdroppedthemattheirbabysitter ’s.”
Sagesatonthecouch,cross-legged,andpattedtheplacenexttohim.
Removinghisjacket,Shawntooktheseat.“Ican’treallystay,”hesaid,glancingathiswatch.

“OrI’llbelateforwork.Ijustwantedtocheckonyouandseehowyouweredoing—”

Thedooropenedandamanwalkedintotheapartment.
SeeingShawn,hestoppedandstared.
Shawnstaredback.Themanwastallandprettyhandsome,clearlyofHispanicdescent.
“Whoisthat?”theguyasked.
“It’smycousin,Shawn,”Sagesaid,ratherdefensively.“Shawn,it’sXavier.”
Shawnwaitedforanexplanation,buttherewasnone.
ButwhenXavierwalkedover,tippedSage’sheadupandkissedhim,noexplanationswere

neededanymore.

Thekisswentonandon,andShawncouldonlystare.He’dbeenprettysureSagewas

completelystraight.

Well,apparentlynot.
Hiscousinactuallymoaned,andShawnlookedaway,beyonduncomfortable.Hestoodupand

clearedhisthroat.“Um,I’dbettergo.”Hechuckled.“You’reclearlyfine.”

Behindhim,thekissingstopped.
“Look,”Sagesaid,soundingembarrassed.“I—”
“Youdon’thavetoexplainanything,”Shawnsaidquicklyandheadedtothedoor.“I’llgo.”

“Wait,”Sagesaid.“It’sdarkalready.It’snotsafetowalkalonearoundhere.Xavierwilldrive

youhome.”

“Iwill?”Xaviermurmured.
“No,itreallyisn’tnecessary—”
“Hewill,”Sagesaid.
“IguessIwill,”Xaviersaid.HegaveSageashort,hardkiss.“You’dbetterbenakedandready

whenI’mback,BlueEyes.”

Flushing,SagepushedXaviertothedoor.“I’llcomeovernextweek,”hetoldShawn.“Ihaven’t

seenthegirlsinages.”

Shawnnoddedandslidintohisjacket.
Xaviermovedpasthim.“Let’sgo.Whatwasyournameagain?”
“Shawn,”hesaid,notsurehowtotalktotheguy.
“Wheredoyoulive?”
Shawntoldhim,andXavierledhimtoaveryold,rustyFordPinto.Shawnlookedatitwarily.

“Areyousurethisthingissafe?”

“No,”theguysaid,gettinginthedriver ’sseat.
“That’s…notveryreassuring.”
“Didyouwantmetolie?”Xaviersaidwithahintofimpatience,clearlyeagertogetitoverwith

andgobacktohiscousin.

Shawngotinthecar,andtheytookoff.
“There’snoseatbelt,”Shawnmuttered.“WhyamInotsurprised?”
Xavierdidn’tdeigntoreply.
“So,”Shawnsaidafterawhile.“Areyoumycousin’sboyfriendorsomething?”
“Orsomething,”Xaviersaid.
“Ithoughthewasstraight.”
Xavierjustlaughed,asthoughhehadsaidsomethingfunny.
“ButI’mgladhehassomeone,youknow,”Shawnsaid.“Iwasworriedabouthim.Hewas

depressedafterhegotoutofprison.”

“Really?”Xaviermurmured.
“Yeah.IhopeI’mwrong,butIthink…Ithinksomeonedidsomethingtohiminprison.”
“You’renotwrong:Idid.”
Shawnopenedhismouthandcloseditwithoutsayingaword.Hedigestedtheinformationfora

fewmoments.“You’reanex-convict?”

“Yep.”
Great.HewasinarustyFordPinto,withoutaseatbelton,andwithanex-convictatthewheel.
“Whatwereyouinprisonfor?”
“Killedeightpeopleatamall.”
Shawnsnortedalaugh.“Youdon’tactuallyexpectmetobelievethat,doyou?”
“Yourcousindid,foralongtime.”
Shawnsmiled,shakinghishead.Sagewasabitnaive.Eventhoughhewasyoungerthanhis

cousin,Shawnoftenfelthewastheolderone.“Sowhatdidyoureallydo?”

“Manslaughter.Gotdrunk,gotintoabarfight,someonedied.”
AshiverofuneaserandownShawn’sspine.Hecouldn’timaginewhatthisguyandSagehadin

common,buthiscousinwasclearlyhappy.Thatwastheimportantthing,wasn’tit?

Shawnwasquietfortherestofthedrive.
“Thanks,”hesaidwhenthecarfinallystoppedinfrontofhisbuilding.Tohissurprise,Xavier

gotout,aswell.Shawnchuckled.“Noonewillattackmehere.Youdon’thaveto—”

“Sagetoldmetogetyouhome.I’llgetyouhome.”Xavierfrowned,lookingoverShawn’s

shoulder.“Someone’swatchingus.Youknowthatguy?”

Shawnturnedaroundandfroze.RutledgegotoutofhisMercedesandstalkedtowardsthem.
“Yeah,Iknowhim,”Shawnsaid.
“Helookspissed,”Xaviermurmured.
Shawnletoutalaugh.“Heprettymuchalwayslookspissed.”Hecringed—itcameoutalmost

affectionate—andXaviershothimasharp,assessinglook.

Rutledgecametoahalt.
“Hey,”Shawnsaid.
Rutledgegavehimtheglarehe’dbeengivinghimtheentireweekbeforeslowlysweepinghis

gazeoverXavierwithsuchalookofdisdainthatitwouldmakeanyonefeeltwofeettall.“Whois
that…person?”

Xaviernarrowedhiseyes,clearlydislikingRutledge’strademarkhaughty,condescendingtone.
“XavierOtero,”hesaidwithanicesmile,steppingclosertoShawnandputtingahandonhis

shoulder.“IwasjustgivingShawnaride.”Shawninhaledsharplyatthedirtyundertoneinhisvoice.

Rutledgeclearlydidn’tmissit,either.HisshoulderstensedupandhisgazerakedoverShawn,

asiflookingforevidence,beforeshiftingtoXavier ’scar.Asneercurledhislips.“Ihopetheridewas
comfortable.”

Xavier ’seyesflickeredtoRutledge’sMercedes.“Idon’tneedaflashycarforthat.”
“Nicelydone,guys,thatwasn’tpassive-aggressiveatall,”Shawnsaid,rollinghiseyes.He

lookedatXavier.“Don’ttakeitpersonally—he’snastytoeveryone.Andyou”—Shawnlookedat
Rutledge—“toneitdownabit.He’sanex-convict,notyourstudent.”

“He’sacriminal?”Inablinkofaneye,ShawnwasyankedawayfromXavierandpushedbehind

Rutledge’sback.

Shawnyelped.“Hey!Areyououtof—”
“Getinyourcaranddriveaway,”RutledgetoldXavier,hisvoicevery,verysoft.“Now.Come

nearhimagainandI’llmakesureyou’llbebackinyourcellinnotime.”

Xavierstiffened,hisfistsclenching.“Areyouthreateningme?”
“Whoa,calmthefuckdown,bothofyou!”Shawnsteppedbetweenthetwomen,puttingahand

onRutledge’schest.Heglaredatthem.Arrogantidiots,bothofthem.“You.”HelookedatXavier.
“Thanksfortheride,butpleasegohomeandfuckmycousin.Noone’sthreateningyou—it’sjust
Rutledge’scharmingpersonality.Go.”

Xaviernoddedstiffly,climbedintohiscarandstartedit.
Whenthecardisappearedoutofsight,ShawnturnedtoRutledge.“Andyou.Whathappenedto

jealousybeing‘formenwithsmalldicksandlowself-esteem?’”

“Nothing,”Rutledgesaidtestily.“Areyoustupid?Doyouknowwhatcriminalslikehimdoto

prettyboyslikeyouinprison?Menlikehimaren’tusedtoasking.”

Shawnchuckled.“Areyouworriedforme?I’mtouched.Careful,orI’llstartthinkingyou

actuallygiveadamn.”

Rutledgegloweredathimbutsaidnothing.
“Whatareyouevendoinghere?”Shawnasked.Belatedly,herealizedhishandwasstillon

Rutledge’schestandwasstrokingit.Quickly,heremoveditandshoveditintothepocketofhis
jacket.HeglancedatRutledge’scar.“Wait,wereyouwaitingforme?”

“Yes.”
“Why?Youcouldhavecalledifyouwantedtotalk.Youhavemynumber.”
“Idon’t.Ierasedit.”
Shawn’seyebrowsflewup.“Why?Diditbotheryou?”

AmuscletwitchedatRutledge’stemple.“BecauseIhadnoneedforit.”
“Thenwhyareyouhere?”
Rutledge’slipspressedtogether,hiseyesboringintoShawn.“I’mheretowarnyou.”
“Warnme?”
“Yes,towarnyou.Yourperformanceinmyclasscontinuestobeterrible—”
“Becauseyou’vebeenabsolutelybrutal!”
“—sodon’texpectmetopassyouonlybecauseofyourprettyface,andlips,andeyes,and—”

RutledgecuthimselfoffandglaredatShawn,asifitwashisfaulthe’djustsaidwhathesaid.“My
pointis,youwon’tgetspecialtreatment,Wyatt.”

Shawnleanedtowardhislipsandwhisperedharshly,“Andyoucameallthewayherejusttotell

methat?Icallbullshit.”

Theirbreathingmixed,bothswiftandstrained,theonlysoundinShawn’sears.
Christ,Shawncouldn’tstanditanymore.Hewastrembling,aching—
WhenRutledgecrushedtheirlipstogether,thefirstthingShawnfeltwasrelief.God,finally.

Andtheneverythingelsefadedaway;therewerebighandsonhisnape,afirmbodyagainsthis,and
lips,hotandsearing—sogood—andShawnwasmoaning,tryingtokisshimharder,takehimdeeper.

Hehadnoideahowmuchtimehadpassedwhenhiscellphonewentoffinthepocketofhis

jacket.

Withasighoffrustration,Shawntorehislipsawayandansweredit.
“Yeah?”hemanaged,fingersclenchedinRutledge’ssweaterasthemankissedhisfaceandhis

neck.God,hislipsseemedtoburnShawn’sskin.

“Wherethehellareyou?”Bill,themanageroftherestaurant.Fuck.“You’realmostlatefor

yourshift!”

“Sorry,givemefifteenminutes—”
“Five!”Billhungup.
ShawnpushedRutledgeaway.“Needtogo.I’mlateforwork.”
Hewalkedawayquickly,hislegsstillweakandhisbodyachingwithwant.“Idiot,”hemuttered.

HeshouldhavetoldXaviertotakehimstraighttowork.Hell,heshouldn’thavegonetoSage’splace
atallafterhe’ddroppedthetwinsatMrs.Hawkins’s.Andhedefinitelyshouldn’thavespentminutes
suckingRutledge’stongue.

TiresscreechedandafamiliarMercedespulledupbesidehim.Thecardoorflewopen.
“Getin,”Rutledgesaid.“I’llgiveyouaride.”
Shawnhesitated,butwhatthehell.Hereallywasrunninglate.Pointlessstubbornnesswasstupid.
HegotinandtoldRutledgetheaddressoftherestaurant.Sometimeshegotassignedtothe

restaurantattheotherendofthecity,butluckilyforShawn,tonightitwastheoneclosetohisplace.

Neitherofthemspokeduringtheshortdrive.Shawnleanedbackagainsttheseatandclosedhis

eyesashefoughtforcontrol.

Thankfully,itonlytookaboutfiveminutestoreachtherestaurant.
“Thanks,”Shawnmuttered,withoutlookingattheotherman,andopenedthedoor.
Rutledgecaughthisarm.
ShawntookashakybreathinbeforeturningtoRutledge.
Darkeyeslookedathimgrimly.
“Okay,”Shawnsaid.“Butthisisthelasttime,gotit?”
HeleanedtowardRutledge,buriedhisfingersinhishairandgavehimadeep,wetkiss.

Rutledgeacceptedthekisspassively,butShawncouldfeelhisbodyvibratewithtension,anditmade
Shawnachinglyhard.

Thecellphonewentoffagain.

Sighing,Shawnpulledawayandwhispered,“Thisisstupid.Webothknowit.”Hewipedhislips.

“Let’sjustpretendedthisneverhappened,okay?”

Rutledgesaidnothing—justlookedatShawnwithdark,hungryeyes.
Andgod,Shawnwantedtokisshimagain.Badly.
Swearingthroughhisteeth,hepracticallyjumpedoutofthecar.

Chapter15

ShawnwaswalkingtohislastclassofthedaywhenhesawRutledgewalkingtheotherway.
Hisstepsfalteredforamomentbeforeheavertedhisgazeandcontinuedwalking,determinedto

ignorehim.

ExceptRutledgedidn’tlethim.
HegrabbedShawn’sarmastheywerepassingeachother.“Aword,Mr.Wyatt.”
Shawnwethislips,hisheartpounding.Helookedstraightinfrontofhim.“Idon’tthinkwehave

anythingtotalkabout,Professor.”

Thegrasponhishandtightened.“Aword.”
Shawnglancedaround.“Letgo.You’reattractingattention.”
Rutledgeremovedhishandandbitout,“Followme.”
“Ihaveaclassinafewminutes.”
“I’llwriteyouanote,”Rutledgethrewoverhisshoulderbeforewalkingaway.
“That’sabuseofpower,”Shawngrumbledbutdidfollowhim.
Rutledgeledhimintoaclassroomattheendofthehall.Itwasempty.
Shawnclosedthedoor.“Look,thisis—”
Rutledgeslammedhimagainstthewallandcrushedtheirlipstogether.
Goddammit,notthisagain.ButhewasalreadykissingbackandgaspingintoRutledge’smouth.
Thekisswasmessyandneedy,Rutledgepressingagainsthimasthoughhewastryingtoembed

himinthewall.

Shawnwhinedwhenthekissendedassuddenlyasitbegan.
RutledgeburiedhisfaceagainstthesideofShawn’sthroat,breathingdeeply,hisbodytenseas

hell.“Iwanttofuckyou.”Rutledgesuckedhardonthesideofhisneck,hishandskneadingShawn’s
assandpushingtheircrotchestogether.“Needtofuckyouagain.”

Shawnclosedhiseyes,tryingtothink,tryingtorememberhowtobreathebecauseitdidn’tseem

likehewasgettinganyoxygentohisbrainandallhisbloodseemedtohavedrainedintohiscockand
hisheadwasblissfullyempty.Hecouldn’tforthelifeofhimrememberwhyitwassuchabadidea—

“WhyShawnwouldbehere—Oh.”
Shawnfroze.Rutledgewentverystill,hislipsstillonShawn’sneck.
Thentheybothturnedtheirheads.
Christianstoodinthehalf-opendoorway,hismouthagape.
“He’snothere,”hesaidloudly,steppedbackandshutthedoor.
Hisfacehot,Shawnsighed.“Ishouldgo.”
Buthedidn’tmove.
RutledgeleanedhisforeheadagainstthewallnexttoShawn’shead.Hishandswerestill

grippingShawn’ships,histhumbsonthebareskinofShawn’slowerstomach.“Thisisallyour
fault,”hesaid,hisvoiceterse.

Shawnhuffed,buriedhishandinRutledge’shairandtugged.“Howisthismyfault?”
“Youshouldn’thavedecidedtoleaveearly,”Rutledgesaidirritably,placinggreedy,open-

mouthedkissesonShawn’sneck.“Ifyouhadn’tdonethat,Iwouldhavefuckedyouafewmoretimes

untilitgotboringenough.”

“Charming,”Shawnsaiddryly—orrather,triedto,buthisvoicecameoutalittlebreathy.
Rutledgeliftedhisheadfromhisneck.Hispupilswerecompletelyblownashisgazealternated

betweenShawn’seyesandmouth.“I’llcometoyourplacetonightandwewillfuck.”Thatwasn’ta
question.

Shawnwethislips.“Alreadyforgotaboutthetwins?”
Wronganswer.Heshouldhaverefusedoutright.
Rutledgestaredathislips,histhumbsstrokingShawn’sbarestomach.“Aren’tkidssupposedto

gotosleepearly?”

“I—Ican’tleavethemalone.Whatiftheywakeup?”
“We’llbequiet.”
Shawnwasn’tsurehecouldbequiet.Notwhenhealreadyhadtoswallowbackmoansjustfrom

havingRutledge’shandsonhisstomach.

“But—”
“I’llcometonight,”Rutledgesaidfirmly.“Andwe’llfuck.”
HestartedleaningintokissShawnagain,butstopped,lookedawayandstalkedoutoftheroom.
Shawnbangedhisheadagainstthewallandhadtowaitforawhileuntilhisarousalfadedandhe

couldthink—andmove—again.

“Howveryniceofyoutodeignuswithyourpresence,Mr.Wyatt,”ProfessorTravissaidwhen

heenteredtheclassroom.“Onlytwentyminuteslate.”

“I’msorry,Professor,”Shawnsaid,tryingnottosquirmunderhersharpgaze.ProfessorTravis

hadneverparticularlylikedhim,butherclasswasactuallyoneofhisbest,sosheusuallyhadno
reasontocriticizehim.Untilnow.

“Doyouhaveanyexplanation,Wyatt?”
Shawnrubbedthebackofhisneck.“Actually,yes.ProfessorRutledgehadanurgenttaskfor

me.Hetoldmetoapologizetoyouonhisbehalf.He’sthereasonI’mlate.”

Thewoman’seyebrowsflewup.“ProfessorRutledge?”
“Yep,”Shawnsaid,tryinghardnottolaugh.Hecouldn’timagineRutledgeapologizingfor

anything,muchlesstothiswoman.“I’mreallysorryformytardiness,butifyouhaveaproblemwith
it,you’llhavetotakeitupwithProfessorRutledge.”

Likehellshewould.
ProfessorTravisstilllookedpuzzledbutnodded.“Verywell.Sitdown,Wyatt.”
ShawnheadedtohisusualseatnexttoChristian.
“Anurgenttask,huh?”ChristianmurmuredassoonasShawntookhisseat.“Likesuckinghis

dick?”

Shawnfelthimselfblush.“Comeon—”
“Look,”Christiansaidquietly,hisbrowneyeslookingathimintently.“I’mnotjudging.Butyou

shouldn’thavelied.It’sover,myass.”

Shawnwinced.“Ireallythoughtitwasover,Iswear.Anditis.But…”
“But?”
Sighing,Shawnmurmured,“I’mkindareallybadatthinkingwithmyheadwhenheputshis

tongueinmymouth.”

Christianstaredathimforashortwhilebeforeshakinghisheadslowly.“Thisissoweird,man.

Imean,thisisn’tevensomerandomguywe’retalkingabout.It’sRutledge.Rutledge!”

“Iknow.Iknowit’sweird,andstupid,andtotallycrazyandpointless.He’severythingIdon’t

want,butatthesametime…Shit,it’sfuckingwithmymind.”

“Butyoustillwanthim.”

“Yeah,”Shawnsaid.
“Sowhatareyougoingtodoaboutit?”
“Hethinksifwefuckafewmoretimes,it’sboundtogetboring.”Shawnleanedbackinhis

chair,runningahandoverhisface.“He’dbetterberight.”

He’dbetterbe.

Chapter16

Thegirlsfellasleepatnineintheevening,justafterShawnreturnedfromwork.
Afterthat,Shawnspentanhourtryingtomaketheshabbyapartmentlooksemi-presentable.At

last,hegaveuponitasalostcauseandtookaquickshower.Puttingonapairofoldblueshorts,
Shawnwasdryinghimselfoffwhentherewasaquietknockonthedoor.

Barefoot,Shawntiptoedtothedoorandopenedit.
Rutledge’sgazeimmediatelyfixedonhisbarechest,hisnipples,hisbellybuttonbeforesettling

ontheshortsthatwereridinglowonhiships.

ShawnclearedhisthroatquietlyandRutledgelookedathisface.
Inthesemi-darknessoftheroomitwashardtoreadhisexpression.
Shawnpressedafingertohislipsandpointedtothegirls’bed.
Rutledgenoddedcurtly.
Shawntookhishand,pulledhiminside,andlockedthedoor.ThenheledRutledgetohis

bedroom.

Itwastheonlybedroomintheapartment.Whentheyhadjustmovedin,Shawnhadintendedto

makeitthechildren’sroom,butitwascoldanddamp,sohe’dendeduptakingithimself.

Theroomwasalsosmallandvoidofanyfurniturebesidesanarrowbedanddesk.Shawn

wouldhavefeltmoreembarrassedifRutledgewasactuallylookingaround,buthedidn’tseemtobe
interestedinhissurroundingsashequietlyshutthedoorandstaredatShawninthedimlightofthe
lamp.

Rutledgestartedsilentlyundressing.
Shawn’sheartbeatfasterandhecouldactuallyhearhisownbreathing,unevenandshaky.He

stoodstillandwatched,hisskinwarm,hiscockhardandheavyinhisshorts.

Atlast,Rutledgewasnaked.Lookingcompletelyunselfconscious,hewalkedtothebed,sat

downandpattedhisknee,tensionrollingoffhiminwaves.Hiserectionstoodlongandthickfroma
thatchofdarkhairathisgroin.

Shawntorehisgazeaway,slippedoutofhisshortsandsteppedtoRutledge.
Hehesitated.
Hiseyeshooded,Rutledgetookhisarmandjerkedhimintohislap.
Therestwasablurofheatedkissesandtouches,andsomuchskin.Shawnhadneverfeltsoout

ofcontrolwithwant,unabletothink,unabletodoanythingbutfeelandwant.

WhenhefinallysankontoRutledge’sslickcock,theprofoundreliefwasoverwhelming.He

groaned.Thefullness,theintimacywasmaddeningandscaryinitsintensity.Rutledgegrunted,
pullingShawntightertohim,theirchestsflushagainsteachother.

Lookingintothedarkeyes,Shawnmoved.Itwassuchaturn-ontoseeRutledge’seyesslide

half-shut,thewayhisheadsortofarchedback.

Shawnopenedhislegsalittlebitmore,adjustinghispostureashetookitdeepandsweet,the

hotlengthofhisteacherburninghimfromtheinsideout.Helookeddowninbetweentheirbodies,
fascinatedbythemovementofhisownhipsastheykeptgyratinginplace.HesawRutledge’shands—
big,andwarm,andstrongonhiships—directthemovementashewantedit,guidingShawninto

ridinghimasShawn’sowncockstooduntouchedbetweenthem;itwasredandthick,wetness
glisteningandslidingdownitsshaft.

Rutledge’sthumbsstrokedmindlesslyathishipbones,histonguetracingawetstripeonhis

neckashiscockstretchedShawnsodamngood.Swallowingbackhismoans,Shawnpusheddownto
increasethepressureandtotakehimfully.ThefeelingofRutledge’shardstomachslidingalongthe
achingfleshofhiscockmadeShawnwhimper,andhegrippedRutledge’sshouldersalittlebittighter
asheabandonedtherotationsofhispelvisandstartedslidingupanddownRutledge’scock,hardand
fast,wantingmore,deeper,more.

Neithercouldbreathewellandbothneededeverythingharderandfaster,andsoonRutledgewas

slamminghishipsuptomeetShawn’soneverythrust,andShawnwasgaspingeverytimeRutledge
hithisprostate,starssparkingbehindhiseyes.Rutledgewasgrunting,hismusclesworkingashe
liftedShawnandloweredhimdownontohiscock,andfuck,hisstrengthwassuchaturn-on,and
Shawnwantedhim,wantedhim,wantedhim.

Rutledgecamefirst,andShawnfollowedshortlyafter,jerkinghiswaythroughhisorgasmand

sinkinghisteethintoRutledge’sshouldertomufflehismoans.

ShawnwasonlyvaguelyawareofRutledgeliftinghimandlayinghimonhisback:hiseyelids

grewheavy,hisbodylanguidwithpleasure.

Justbeforehefellasleep,herealizedtheyhadn’tsaidawordtoeachothersinceRutledgehad

enteredtheapartment.

Chapter17

Shawnwokeupslowly,andthefirstthingheregisteredwasaverynakedandverywarmbody

againsthisback.Rutledge.

Theywerespooning.Rutledgewasspooninghim.
Tellinghimselfnottobesilly—thebedwasjustverynarrow,andtheresimplywasn’tmuch

space—Shawnopenedhiseyes,blinkinggroggily.

Andfoundhimselflookingattwolittlegirlsstaringatthemcuriously.
“Shawn’sawake,”Beewhispered,suckingonherthumb.“CanIbeloudnow?”
Emilyshookherhead.“Mr.Rutledge’sstillsleeping.”
AtinyfurrowappearedbetweenBee’sbrows.“ButwhatisMr.RutledgedoinginShawn’sbed?”
“He’ssleeping,silly!”Emilysaid,forgettingtowhisper.
ShawnfeltthemanbehindhimstirslightlyandtightenhisloosegriparoundShawn’swaist.

Rutledgemumbledsomethingunintelligible,hislipsbrushingagainstShawn’sear.

Shawngrimacedandtuggedthesheetshigher,makingsurethegirlscouldn’tseeanythingthey

weren’tsupposedtosee.

BeepointedatRutledge.“Youtoldmetobequiet,butsee,youwokehimup!”Shebeamed.

“Goodmorning,Mr.Rutledge!”

“Goodmorning,”RutledgesaidhoarselyrightintoShawn’sear.
GoosebumpscoveredShawn’sskin.Hesqueezedhiseyesshutandbithislip.Getagrip.
“Morning,”hesaidatlast,turninghishead.
ItwasweirdtoseeRutledge’shairsomessy,butthat,coupledwiththedarkstubbleandallthe

nakedskin,didstrangethingstoShawn’sinsides.Rutledge’sdarkeyesroamedoverhisface.

Shawnwasn’tsurehowtoact.Hewasn’tsurewheretheystood.
“WhyMr.Rutledgesleptinyourbed?”Beeasked.“Hedoesn’thaveabed?”
Rutledge’slipstwisted.“Somethinglikethat,midget,”hesaid,stilllookingatShawn.
“Don’tcallhermidget.”
“Idon’tmind,”Beesaid.“I’mshort!”
“Shedoesn’tmind,”Rutledgesaid.
Snorting,Shawnreachedforhisshortsandpulledthemon,wincingabitindiscomfort.
“Sore?”Rutledgemurmured,sittingupaswell.
Shawnhoppedoffthebedandthrewhimanarrow-eyedlook.
Rutledge’sfacewasmostlyinscrutable,buttherewasahintofsomethinginhiseyes…
“Dropthesmuglook,”Shawnsaidandglancedattheclockonthewall.“Don’tyouhaveaclass

toteachsoon?”

“Yes,”Rutledgesaid,gettingoutofthebed.HelookedsooutofplaceinShawn’stiny,shabby

roomitwasn’tevenfunny.

Shawnturnedaway,grabbedthegirlsandpulledthemoutoftheroom.
Don’tberidiculous,hetoldhimself.Ithadjustbeensex.Yes,sexwithanotherman—sexwithhis

professor—butjustsex.Hehadnoreasontofeelflustered.Theywereadults,theyhadwantedeach
otherandthey’dfuckedtoscratchtheitch.Simple.Nothingcomplicatedaboutit.Itdidn’thavetobe

complicated.

Shawnwasstilltellinghimselfthatwhilehepreparedbreakfastforthekidswhenthedoorbell

rang.

Hewenttoopenthedoor.
“Goodmorning!”Mrs.Hawkinssaid,pushingpasthim.“Morning,girls.”
“Goodmorning,Mrs.Hawk,”thetwinssaidinunison.
“Havetheyalreadyeaten?”Mrs.HawkinsaskedShawn.
“No,Iwasjustgoingtofeedthem,butI’mrunningabitlateandI’dreallyappreciateifyou—”
Shewavedhimoff.“Ofcourse,gotakeashower.I’lldo—”
RutledgewalkedoutofShawn’sbedroom,slidingintohisjacket.Hishairwasstillwetaftera

shower.

Mrs.Hawkinsstared.ThenhergazemovedtoShawn.
Shawnfeltablushcreepuphisface.Onedidn’thavetobeageniustoguesswhattheyhadbeen

doinglastnight.

Mrs.Hawkins’slipspursedintoaline.Withoutaword,shenoddedstifflyinRutledge’s

direction,tookthegirlsandusheredthemintothekitchen.

Shawnblinkedatherback.Justafewweeksago,Mrs.Hawkinstoldhimtolivealittleandgeta

girlfriend,butapparentlythiswasaproblemforher.Whatthehell.Hissexlifewasnoneofher
business.

“Findanotherbabysitterforthechildrenifyoudon’twantthemtogrowupnarrow-minded.”

Rutledgeheadedtothedoor.“Ihavetogo.Ineedtochangebeforework.”

Shawnhesitatedbeforefollowinghimtothedoor.WasithisimaginationorwasRutledgereally

avoidinglookingathim?

“Okay,”Shawnsaid,forcingnonchalanceintohisvoice.“Seeyouaround,Iguess.”
Rutledgewentstillbeforeturninghisheadtohim.
Abeatpassed.
Rutledgereachedout,hookedhisfingersinthewaistofShawn’sshortsandpulledhimclose.
HebenthisheadandpressedhisnoseagainstthesideofShawn’sneckbeforesuckinghardon

hisskin.Shawngaspedfromthemixofpainandpleasure.

Inablinkofaneye,Rutledgewasgone,andShawnstaredattheemptyspacehehadoccupieda

momentago.

Whatwasthatsupposedtomean?

***

“Well?”ChristiansaidwhenShawnsatdownnexttohimafewhourslater.
Slumpinginhisseat,Shawnlookeddownathishandsonhisstomach.“What?”
“Didyou—youknow?”Thecuriositywasclearinhisfriend’svoice.
Shawnnodded.“Yeah,”hemurmured.“Ifuckedhimagain.”
“Sowhatnow?Yougetoverhim?”
Shawnsaid,“Sure.”
AndthenRutledgeenteredtheclassroom.

Asalways,thehushwasinstant.
Rutledgewalkedtohisdesk,cladinapristinethree-piecedarksuitthathuggedhismuscular

frame.Hisstrongjawwasclean-shaven—

“Yep,totallyoverhim,”Christianmurmured.
Shawnflushedandavertedhisgaze.“Iam.”
“Sureyouare.Butwipethatdrooloffyourface.Seriously,you’refreakingmeout.It’s

Rutledge.Theguyisatotaldick,hehasnosenseofhumor,noheart—andhe’snotevenhandsometo
compensateforhispersonality.”

“Heishandsome,”Shawnmuttered.
“He’snot.Allright,hehasagreatbodyandtheconfidence,buthisnoseistoobig,andhiseyes

arecruel.”Christiansmirked.“Unlessyou’reintothatkindofthing,Iguess.”

ShawnrolledhiseyesandaccidentallycaughtRutledge’sgaze.Suddenly,Shawncouldacutely

feelthehickeyhiddenbyhisturtleneck,thebruisesonhisthighs,thesorenessinhisass.

Rutledgelookedawayandclearedhisthroat.

***

“Look,he’scometopickMilaupagain,”Christianmurmured,motioningwithhisheadasthey

crossedtheparkinglotaftertheirclasses.“See,I’mnottheonlyonewhostaresathim.”

ShawnfollowedChristian’sgaze.
Sureenough,therewasamanleaningagainstawhiteLexus,andyeah,hewasattractingquitea

bitofattention.Theguydidn’tevenseemawareofallthestaringstudents,lookingboredand
glancingathiswatchfromtimetotime.

“Damn,he’ssogorgeous,”Christiansaid.
Shawneyedtheguycritically.Hereallywasratherstartlinglyhandsome:tallanddark-haired,

withstrong,classicallyhandsomefeatures,afirmsensualmouthandstrikingdeep-blueeyes.Yeah,
ShawncouldunderstandwhyChristianwasattractedtohim,thoughtheguyseemedChristian’s
completeopposite:allbuttoned-up,seriousandproper.

“Idunno,man,”Shawnsaid.“Helookslikehehasastickuphisass.”
Christianwiggledhiseyebrows.“Trustme,guyslikethatareusuallythebestinbed—kinkyand

intense.”Hesighed.“Damn,whyareallthehotguysstraight?It’ssofuckingunfair.”

Shawnsnortedandpattedhimontheshoulder.“Atleastyou’llgettoseehimnakedthis

weekend.”

Christiangrimaced.“Likeakidlookinginthecandystorewindow.”
ShawnopenedhismouthbutshutitwhenafamiliarblackMercedesstoppedinfrontofthem.

Thedooropened.

“Getin,”saidRutledge,withoutevenglancingathim.Helookedlikehewasdoingsomething

veryunpleasant.

“No,thanks,I’lltakethebus,”Shawnsaid.
“Getin,”Rutledgesaidagain.
Shawnglancedaround.Theywereattractingquiteafewcuriouslooks.Shit.
HegaveChristianashrugandclimbedintothecar.

Rutledgeslammedonthegaspedal.
“Areyoucrazy?Everyonesawus!”
Rutledgewassilent,drivingatablindingspeed.
“That’shownastyrumorsstart!”
Rutledgesaidnothing.
“Stopfuckingignoringme!”
Rutledgeslammedhisfootonthebrakes.
BeforeShawnknewit,Rutledge’slipswereonhisandhistonguewasinhismouth.
Shawnmoanedandkissedback,buryinghishandsinRutledge’sthickhair.Ohgod,ohgod,god.

Chapter18

Thenextfewweeksflewbyinablur.
Everyevening,Rutledgewouldcomeoverandtheywouldspendhoursinbed,havingsexuntil

theywerecompletelyexhaustedandfellasleepentangledineachother.Sometimestheywouldrun
intoeachotherinthehallsorShawnwouldgotoRutledge’sofficeandstraddlehislapandthey—

Itwascrazy.Itwasmadness.Shawncouldn’tkeephishandsoffhim;itwaslikehecouldn’t

controlhisbodyatall.Hewasweirdedoutbyhisowninsatiablebehavior;he’dneverbehavedlike
thatbefore.Thisthingwasactuallygettingworse.Nomatterhowmanytimestheyfucked,nomatter
howmanyorgasmshe’dhad,heconstantlywantedmore,moreandmoreofDerekbuthecouldn’tget
enough.

Derek.
ThatwasanotherthingthatbotheredShawn.LatelyhehadcaughthimselfthinkingofRutledge

asDerekfartoooftenforhisliking.Andtomakethingsworse,Shawnwasn’tallthatsureitwasjust
sexhewanted.HeenjoyedkissingRutledgewaytoomuch.Butthepartaftersexwastheworst.
Rutledgewouldkisshisfaceandhisneck,softlyandlazily,andShawnwouldfeelgood,andwarm—

JustlikehewasfeelingatthismomentasRutledgenuzzledintothebackofhisneck.
“God,getout,”Shawngroanedintothepillow,hisvoicestillhoarseaftertheblowjobhe’d

givenRutledgeearlier.“Ihavethenightshifttonight.Needtobeatworkinlessthantwohours,and
it’lltakeagestogetthere.”Hegrimacedatthethought.Hehatedthenightshifts,hehatedwhenhewas
senttoworkattherestaurantontheotherendofthecity,andhehatedleavingthetwinswithMrs.
Hawkinsforthenight.

Rutledgedidn’tmove,hisbigbodystillsprawledoverShawn’sback.Hewastooheavyandit

wasgettinghardtobreathe,butShawnfoundthathedidn’tmindthatmuch.

“Ineedtogetgoing,too,”Rutledgesaidagainsthisneck,kissinghimthere.“Ihavehundredsof

paperstograde.”

“Didyougrademineyet?”
“Yes.”
“And?”Shawn’sstomachtightenedashewaitedforRutledge’sresponse.Hehadputsomuch

effortintoit.

“Itwasacceptable,”Rutledgesaid.“C.”
Shawndeflated.“Oh.”
Rutledge’slipsstilledagainsthisnape.
ThenherolledShawnoverandproppedhimselfonhiselbowsabovehim.Hisdarkeyesstudied

Shawn’sface.“Areyou…upset?”

“No,”Shawnsaidlightlywithasoftchuckle,avertinghisgaze.“Ijust…Ijustwantedtodo

better.Toshutupthepeoplewhospreadtherumorsaboutus.”

“Ifyougotabettergrade,itwouldhaveonlymadeitworse.”
“Maybe.But—Ijustreallywantedtodobetter.”
RutledgegrippedhischinwithhisfingersandforcedShawntolookathim.
Hehadastrangeexpressiononhisface:irritationmixedwithsomethingelse.“Youdiddo

better,”hesaidgruffly.“Iexpectedworse.”

Shawnsnorted,shakinghishead.“Thanks.Iguess.”
Rutledgestaredathimwiththesamevaguelyirritatedlookbeforeleaningdownandkissing

him.

Shawnwasn’tentirelysurehowtheywentfromkissingtoRutledge’stryingtopushhiscock

intohim—again.

“You’vegottobekiddingme,”Shawnsaid,withahalflaugh,halfgroan.“I’msore.”
“Onemoretime,”Rutledgesaid,managingtosoundresignedanddesperateatthesametime.

“I’llbegentle.”

“That’swhatyousaidlasttime,”Shawnsaid,buttruthbetold,hedidn’tmindatall.Hewassore,

butgod,hewantedhim.

“Iwasgentle,”Rutledgesaid,hishipsrockinggentlyintohim.“Untilyoubeggedmetofuck

youharder.”

“Ididn’t.”
Rutledgejustsnorted.
“Shutup,”Shawnsaid,tryingtokeephishipsstill—tryingtohidefromRutledgehowmuchhe

wasenjoyingthesensationofhiscockdeepinsidehim.Hebithisliptoswallowbackhismoans.It
wasreallyembarrassing:Rutledge’scockwasn’tevenbrushinghisprostate,buthewaslovingthe
incrediblefullnessandtheintoxicatingintimacyofhavinganotherperson—Derek—inhim,onhim,
aroundhim,Derek’sheavybodypressinghimdownintothemattress,surroundinghim…

“Youdon’thavetogo,”Rutledgesaidintohisear,pantingslightlyashishipsrockedintohim.
“What?”Shawnmanaged.
“Youdon’tneedtoworkthere.”Adeepthrust.“I’llpay—”
“Don’tevenstart.”
“Youacceptedmoneybefore,”Rutledgesaid,hittinghisprostate,againandagain.
“Don’t.”Shawnballedthesheetsinhisfists.Itwastoomuch.“Toosensitive.”Hetriedto

rememberwhattheyweretalkingabout.“Youknowitwasdifferentbefore.”

Rutledge’shipswentstill,makingShawnwhineinfrustration.
“Howwasthatdifferent?”Rutledgesaidinastrangevoice.
Shawnblinkeddazedly.Itwasthefirsttimethey’devenremotelytalkedaboutthisthingbetween

them.“IgaveyoublowjobsbecauseIneededmoney,”hesaidquietly.“IfuckyoubecauseIwantit.”

“It?”
“BecauseIwantyou.”
Silence.
Shawnfelthimselfblushandtoldhimselfnottobesilly.Itwasn’tlikehe’dsaidsomething

Rutledgecouldn’tguesshimself:itwasblatantlyobvioustheywantedeachother.Buttheyhadnever
actuallysaidit.

“What?”hesaid,abitdefensively.
Makingalownoiseinhisthroat,Rutledgekissedhimagainand,changingtheangle,seta

steady,immenselysatisfyingrhythm.

“Good?”Rutledgeaskedhoarselybetweenhisthrusts.
“Yeah.”Shawncouldn’tstopsmallmoansfromescapinghislips.“Sogood.”
Hismoansgrewprogressivelylouderwitheverythrust,hisballstighteningasheapproached

orgasm.

“Yes,that’sit,”Rutledgesaidintohisear,kissingit.“Wantyou.”Hepressedwet,hotkissesall

overShawn’sneck,histhrustslosingtheirrhythmbutnotlosinganyoftheirpower.

“Wantyou,”hesaidagain,histonedifferentsomehow.

ArushofpleasurehitShawnhard,andhecamewithagroan,shakingwithhisentirebody.God.
HewasonlyvaguelyawareofRutledgethrustingintohimforawhilebeforehefinallywent

stillontopofhim.Then,tohisdisappointmentandrelief,Rutledgepulledoutandrolledoffhim.

Openinghiseyes,Shawnturnedhishead.
Rutledgelayonhisback,hiseyeswideopen.Hisfacewasflushedabit,hischestheaving,buthe

wasfarfrombeingrelaxed.Therewasasmallfrownonhisface,hislipspressedintoathinline.

Atlast,Rutledgegotoutofthebed,gotridofthecondom,andstarteddressing.
Shawnsatup,eyeingRutledge’stenseshoulders.“Canyougivemearidetowork?”
Rutledge’shandsstilledonthebuttonsofhisshirt.
Shawnwasn’tsurewhyhe’dasked.HeknewRutledge’shousewasinacompletelydifferentpart

ofthecity.Itjustwasn’tpracticalforhimtogiveShawnarideifhehadalotofworkwaitingforhim
athome—hewouldwastehoursifhedidthat.

Seriously,whyhadheasked?Itwassilly.
Shawnstretchedouthisachingmuscles,workingoutthekinksinhisneck.
“Yes,”Rutledgesaidtersely,lookingawayagain.“Getdressed.”
Shawngotoutofthebedandpaddedtohim,shiveringabit;theroomwaschilly.
“It’sokayifyoudon’twantto,”hesaid,awkwardly,buttoningtherestofthebuttonson

Rutledge’sshirt.

RutledgelookeddownatShawn’sfingers.Hehadagrimexpressiononhisface.“Iwantto.”

Chapter19

ProfessorBateswasadick.
AtleastthatwaswhatShawnthoughtasthemanignoredShawnandcontinuedwalking.
“There’snothingtodiscuss,Wyatt,”Batessaidsharply,walkingfaster.“Theassignmentwasdue

yesterday.Iwon’tmakeanexceptionforyou.It’syourownfault.You’reirresponsible!
Thermodynamicsisthemostimportantbranchofthescienceandyoudon’tunderstandit.Ifyoufail
myclass,whichislookingincreasinglylikely,itwillbedeserved.”

Shawngrimaced.Yeah,itwasreallyhisownfault.Heshouldn’thavespentsomuchtime

studyingforhisFluidMechanicspaper,tryingtoimpressRutledge.Hehadn’texactlyimpressedhim.

“But—”
“Stoptryingmypatience,Wyatt,”Batessnapped,shakinghishead.“What’swrongwithstudents

thesedays?”AndBatesstartedrantingaboutstudents’senseofself-entitlement,lackoffocus,and
lackofhumility,lookingmoreannoyedbytheminute,andShawnrealizedtherewasnowayBates
wouldgivehimextratimetocompletetheassignment.

“Eric,”cameafamiliarvoicefrombehindthem.
Shawntensedanddidn’tlookhisway.Dammit.Rutledgewasthelastpersonhewantedto

witnessthis.

“Issomethingthematter?”Rutledgesaid.
“Thisboyislazyandirresponsible!”Batessaid.“Hedoesn’tdohisassignmentsontimeand

nowheasksmetogivehimafewmoredays!Howishegoingtobeanengineerwhenhecannoteven
managetopassthecorecourses?”

Shawnwantedthegroundtoswallowhimup.Rutledgewasthemostintelligentmanhe’dever

met.HeprobablythoughtShawnwasdumbasarock.Notthatitmatteredwhathethought.Exceptit
kindofdid.Itmattered.Toomuch.

“Iwasofthesameopinionasyou,Eric,”Rutledgesaid,hisvoiceindifferent.“ButWyatthas

shownsomeimprovementoverthepastfewweeks.Givehimaday.Ifhe’slateagain,failhim.”

Shawn’sgazesnappedtohim.Therewasnowayinhellhecoulddoitinoneday.
“Goodidea,”Batessaid.“Oneday,Wyatt.”
“But—”
Batesglaredathim.“Oneday.”
Pursinghislips,Shawnnoddedandleft.
HisfeetbroughthimtoRutledge’soffice.Thedoorwasunlocked,andhelethimselfin.
Shawnleanedhishipagainstthedeskandstuffedhishandsintohispockets.
Hedidn’thavetowaitforlong.
Rutledgedidn’tlooksurprisedtoseehim,butheseemedbusy,carryingastackofpapers.
“Youshouldn’thavedoneit,”Shawnsaid.“There’snowayIcangetitdonebytomorrow.”
“Why?”Rutledgeputthepapersonthedeskandtookhisseat.
Shawnshrugged,lookingathisboots.“I’mdumb.”
“You’reascholarshipstudent.”

Shawn’slipstwisted.“Yeah.IusedtothinkI’mprettysmart,but…butI’mnot.Mostofthestuff

Batesandyouteachgoesrightovermyhead.OneminuteIthinkIunderstandthermodynamics,the
next,Ihavenofuckingcluewhat’shappening.Ireallymustbedumb.”Shawngrippedtheedgeofthe
desk.“Ifeellikesuchalosersometimes,youknow?Ican’tfindadecent-payingjob,Ican’tbuythe
girlsthethingstheyneed,andnowthis.Ifeelsouselessandstupid,and—Ijust—Ijust…Never
mind.”

Therewasalongsilence.
HefeltRutledge’sgazeonthebackofhishead.
“I’mnogoodatcomfortingpeople,”Rutledgesaid,irritably.
Shawnturnedtohimandforcedasmallsmileout.“It’sokay.I’msurprisedyouhaven’tkicked

meoutyet.”

Rutledge’slipsthinned.Hehadaverysourexpressiononhisface.“Comehere.”
Shawnhadnevermovedsofastinhislife.
HeclimbedintoRutledge’slap,puthisheadonhisshoulderandclosedhiseyes.Rutledge’s

strongarmstightenedaroundhim,andShawnsighedinpleasure.Itfeltsogood.Justwhatheneeded.
Itscaredhim—thatheneededthis—buthedid.Italmostfeltbetterthansex.

“You’regoingsoft,Professor,”hemurmuredwithasmile,breathinghisscentin.Itwas

familiarandoddlycomforting.

“Shutup,Wyatt,”Rutledgesaid,soundingevenmoreannoyed,ifthatwaspossible.
Shawnbrushedhislipsagainsthisneck.“Fine.You’reveryevilandnasty.”Henuzzledinto

Derek’sneck.“Fiveminutes.Thenyoucankickmeoutandwe’llpretenditneverhappened.”

Rutledgesighed.“Showmetheassignment.”
Shawn’smouthfellopen.HeliftedhisheadandstaredatRutledge.“Really?”
“Iwon’tdoitforyou,”Rutledgesaid,fixinghimwithaglare.“ButI’llexplainwhatyoudon’t

understand.”

Shawnbeamedandkissedhim.

Chapter20

UsuallyShawnwasalightsleeper.
Butwhenthedoortohisroomcreakedopenthatnight,Shawnhadtroublewakingup,hismind

groggy.HeburroweddeeperintoRutledge’swarmshoulder,hishandstighteningaroundRutledge’s
arm.

Thevoicesseemedtobecomingfromfaraway.
“Yourbrotherisasleep,”Rutledgesaid.“Gobacktobed.”
“ButIhadabaddream!I’mscared.ShawnalwayshugsmewhenI’mscared!”ItwasEmily.
Shawntriedtoopenhiseyes.Itdidn’twork.
“Emily,”Rutledgesaidsternly.“You’reasmartlittlegirl.Youcan’tsleepwithShawnbecause

thebedistoosmallforthethreeofus.”

“I’llsleepwithShawn.YoucangosleepwithBee!”
Rutledgechuckled.“Idon’tthinkI’llfitinyourbed,midget.”
Emilyponderedit.“Icansleeponyou.You’rebig,andShawnlikestosleeponyou.”
Shawncertainlydid,thoughhewasdisturbedthatEmilyknewthat.
“Youcan’tsleeponme.”
“Why?”
“Because—because…Fine,”Rutledgebitoutatlast,toShawn’ssurprise.
Squealingindelight,EmilyclimbedontothebedandontoRutledge’schest.
“You’reverywarm,”shesaid,yawning.
Hereallywas.Theroomwasverycold,butDerekwasverywarm.Sowarm.
“Sleep.Anddon’tpeeonme,”Rutledgegrumbled.
“I’mnotababy.I’mbig.Idon’tpeeinbed!”
“Good.Nowsleep.”
“Youhavefunnyhaironyourchest.Shawndoesn’thavefunnyhaironhischest.Why?”
ThatgaveRutledgepause.“Sleep.”
“Youdon’tlikeme,”Emilymumbled.“YoulikeBeebetter.”
Aheavysigh.“WhydoyouthinkIlikeherbetter?”
“Yougaveherchocolateyesterday!”
Shawnfrowned.Huh?
“Becausesheasked.Youhavetoaskifyouwantsomething.”
“SoifIask,you’llgivemeanything?Anything,anything?”
“IfIsayyes,willyoustoptalkingandsleep?”
“Yeah!”
“Fine.Whatdoyouwant?”
“Iwantapuppy!Blackandfluffy!Withawhitestaronitsforehead!”
Apause.“Choosesomethingelse.”
“Butyousaidanything!”
Shawndriftedbacktosleep,stillsmiling.

***

“So,”Christiansaid,leaningbackandrockinginhischairabit.“What’sgoingonwithyouand

Rutledge?”

Shawnlookedupfromhisplateathim.“Huh?”
Christianlaughedsoftly.“Comeon.I’mnotblind.It’sbeengoingonforweeks.Ithoughtyou’d

getsickofhimbynow,butyoustilllooktotallyfuckedoutmostofthetime—”

“Idon’t.”
Christiangavehimaflatlook.
Pinchingthebridgeofhisnose,Shawnadmitted,“Yeah,allright.Sowhat?”
Christianliftedhishands.“Hey,I’mnotjudging.Whateverfloatsyourboat.”Heshruggedwith

acrookedsmile.“It’snoneofmybusinessifyouhaveacrushonhisdick.”

ShawnslumpedbackinhischairandlookedatChristiangrimly.“Itmightbeabitmore

complicatedthanthat.”Heranahandoverhisforehead,sighing.“I’mnotevensurehowtoact
aroundhiminclassanymore.It’slikemybrainstopsworkingwhenhe’saround.”Hegrimaced.“I
kissedhimyesterdayoutsidehisoffice.Icouldn’thelpit.Wewereluckyitwaslateandnoonesawus
—Ithink.”

Christian’seyebrowsalmostreachedhishairline.Hewhistled.“Wait,areyou,like,ina

relationship?”

Shawnrubbedthecornerofhiseye.“No—Imean—Idon’tknow.I…Ikindagavehimakeyto

myplace.”

Christianstartedlaughing.
Shawnkickedhimunderthetable.“Shutup.Itmadesensetodoit.Sometimeshecomesvery

late,andIdon’twanthimtowakeupthekidswithhisknocking.Itdoesn’tmeanwhatyouthinkit
means.”

“Oh,really?”
Shawnheavedasigh.“Idon’tknow.Thingshavebeenweirdlately.He’ssogoodtome

sometimes,andIfeellike…Ifeelsogoodwithhim,youknow?”Happy.“It’ssoconfusing.”

“Noshit.Don’tyoutalk?”
Shawnshrugged.“Sure,wetalk,butnotaboutthat.Hecomestomyplaceintheeveningandif

thekidsarestillup,it’snotlikewecantalkproperly.Ifthey’reinbedalready,wedon’tspendmuch
timetalking.”Ijustwanttogethimnakedandonme.“Andhe’snotexactlythetalkingtype.”

“Lookslikehewantstotalkthistime.”Christiannoddedtowardssomethingbehindhim.
ShawnturnedhisheadandsawRutledgewalkingtohimbriskly.Shawnstoodupandtookastep

awayfromthetablejustasRutledgereachedhim.

“Somethingwrong?”Shawnmurmured,glancingaround.Theywereattractingcuriousstares;

instructorsnormallydidn’tvisitthecafeteria.

Rutledge’sshouldersrelaxedalittle.“No,”hesaid,turningaroundandheadingoutofthe

cafeteria,clearlyexpectingShawtofollow.

Rollinghiseyes,Shawndid.
“I’mleavingforafewdays,”Rutledgesaidoncetheywereoutside.
“Where?Why?”

“Itdoesn’tmatter.It’snoneofyourbusiness.”
Shawncrossedhisarmsoverhischest.“Really?Thenwhyareyoueventellingme?”
Theygloweredateachother.
Shawnrefusedtodrophisgaze.
“I’mleaving,”Rutledgesaidwithfinality.
“Fine.Go.”Shawnbittheinsideofhischeek,tryingtoholdbackdozensofquestions.Questions

thatwouldmakehimlooklikeapatheticneedyteenagegirl.

Rutledgetookasteptohim;theirfaceswereonlyinchesapartnow.Therewasastrange

restlessnesshauntingRutledge’sdarkeyes.Somethingwasshiftingbetweenthem,anditscared
Shawn.Andexcitedhim.

Afewsecondspassedastheyjustlookedateachother.
Someguywalkedoutofthecafeteria,andtheysprangapart.
“Sir,”theguysaidrespectfullytoRutledge.
“Right,”Shawnsaid,shovinghishandsintohispockets.“I’llgo.”BeforeIjumponyouandkiss

youinfrontofeveryone.

Rutledgenoddedstifflyandstalkedaway.
Shawnsighed.Dammit.
Maybeafew-days’breakwoulddothemgood.Thingsweregettingtooweird.
Ormaybetheproblemwasitwasn’tweirdanymore.

Chapter21

Rutledgedidn’treturninafewdays.
Nordidhecall.Shawnknewhecouldcall,butthemerethoughtmadehimcringe.Hedidn’t

wanttoseemclingy.

ByFriday,Shawndidn’tknowwhattothink.Itdidn’thelpthatEmilyandBeekeptaskingwhere

Mr.Rutledgewas—thequestionShawnhadnoanswerfor.

Wherewashe?
TherewasanigglingthoughtatthebackofShawn’smindthatRutledgewasacommitment-

phobe.Maybehe’dleftbecausethisthingbetweenthemfreakedhimout.Ifthatwasit,well,fuckhim.
Shawnwouldbedamnedifhe’dlethimselfbetheclingyone.

“What’swrongwithyou,man?”ChristianaskedonFridaymorningastheytooktheirseatsin

Rutledge’sclass.

“Nothing.”
“Youlooklikeshit.”
“Didn’tsleepwell,”Shawnmuttered,rubbinghiseyes.Itwasn’talie.“I’mjust—”Hecut

himselfoff,noticingtheprofessorwhowalkedintotheclassroom.

Itwasn’tRutledge.
Hisheartsank.
ProfessorNewlandtooktheseatbehindRutledge’sdeskandsmiledatthestudents.
“Goodmorning,”thewomansaidcheerfully.“I’llbesubstitutingforProfessorRutledgeuntil

furthernotice.”

Acheerwentthroughtheroom.
Shawnliftedhishand.
“Yes,Mr.Wyatt?”Newlandsaid.
“WhereisProfessorRutledge?”
Sheraisedhereyebrows.“Idon’tthinkit’syourconcern,butifyoumustknow…Professor

Rutledgeisabsentduetofamilycircumstances.”

“Yeah,”thegirlsittingonShawn’sothersidemurmured.“I’veseeninthenewsthathe’s

marryingsomepolitician’sdaughter.”

Shawnstaredathernumbly.
Christianputahandonhisshoulderandsaidsomething,buthecouldbarelyhearit.
Married?Derek?
“Itcan’tbetrue,”hewhispered,moretohimselfthantothegirl.“He’sgay.Andhe’s…”Mine.
Excepthewasn’t,washe?Hedidn’thaveanyrighttobeangry.Theywerenothingtoeachother.
“Areyouokay?”Christiansaid,lookingathimwithafrown.
“I’mfine.”
“Shawn—”
“I’mfuckingfine!”Shawninhaleddeeplyandsaid,softer,“Sorry.I’mfine.”

***

Shawnreturnedhomeearly,dismissedthebabysitter,satonthecouchandwatchedthetwins

play.

Theirdresseswerewornoutandtoosmallforthem.Theyneedednewclothes.
Heclosedhiseyesandthoughtofhowmuchthatwouldcost.Christmaswasn’tfaraway,and

Christmaswasexpensive,soheneededtosavemoney.Newclothesforthegirlswouldhavetowait
untilhefoundabetterjob.

Shawnsighed,rubbinghisface.Yeah.Thatwaswhatheneededtofocuson.Nomore

distractions.Thekidsdependedonhim.

Thecouchdippedasthegirlssuddenlyclimbedontoit.
“You’resad,”Beesaid.
“Wedon’tlikewhenyou’resad,”Emilysaid.
Shawnsmiledbrightlyandwrappedhisarmsaroundthem,pullingthemclose.Theywerewarm

andsmelledofsoapandsweets.Ofinnocence.

“No,”hesaid.“OfcourseI’mnotsad.”
“WhenisMr.Rutledgecomingback?”Emilyaskedonceagain,herblueeyeswideand

glisteningwithtears.“Hepromisedmeapuppy!Withawhitestaronitsforehead.”

Beesuckedonherthumb.“Yeah,whenishecomingback?”
Shawn’sheartclenched.Atthatmoment,hehatedDerekRutledgemorethananything.Thegirls

hadnoonebutShawn;ofcoursethey’dbecomeattachedtoDerek,sincehehadbeenpractically
livingwiththemforthelastcoupleofweeks.

Shawnsmiled,butitfeltlikeagrimace.“Itdoesn’tlooklikehe’scomingback,sweetheart.”
Emily’sbrowsfurrowed.“Why?”
Howwashesupposedtoanswerthat?
Shawnavertedhisgaze.“Becausehehashisownfamily.Anditseemshisdadaskedhimto

marry.”Atleastthatwastheonlyexplanationhecouldthinkof.“He’sgoingtostartafamilynow.”

“Why?”Emilysaid.
Bee’slowerliptrembled.“Why?”
Shawnlookedbetweenthemanddidn’tknowwhattosay.
“Idon’tknow,baby,”hemurmured,pressinghislipstoBee’stempleandpullingEmilycloser.

“Idon’tknow.”

Chapter22

Shawnwokeupinthemiddleofthenight,shivering.
Heburroweddeeperunderthecovers.Theroomwascoldanddamp,asusual,butitwasharder

toignoreafterweeksofsharingbodyheatwithanotherperson.Hemissedbeingwarm.

Shawnsighed,turnedontohisstomachandhuggedhispillow,angrywithhimself.Thiswas

gettingoutofhand.Enough.FuckRutledgeandfuckhisstupidwarmbody.Fuckhim.

Butnomatterwhathetoldhimself,theacheinhisstomachwasstillthere.Thehunger.Theneed

thatwentbeyondsex.HewantedRutledge’sbodynexttohim,bigandwarm.Heevenwantedtohear
hisscathingremarks,feelhisbreathagainsthisskin—

Shawntensedandliftedhishead.Hecouldhaveswornheheardvoicescomingfromtheliving

room.Butthegirlscouldn’tpossiblybeawake,right?

Frowning,Shawnclimbedoutofbed,shiveringviolentlyasthecoldairhithisskin,andpadded

towardsthedoor.Therewaslightinthelivingroom,butitmeantnothing:hehadleftthelampon,
sincethetwinswerescaredofthedark.

Shawnopenedthedoorquietlyandfroze.
Rutledgewassittingonthefloorbesidethegirls’bed,oneofthetwinsinhislap.
Shawn’sheartstartedtothudinhischest.
Hewasback.
Hewasback.
“Wherewereyou?”hissistersaid,rubbinghereyessleepilywithonehandwhiletheother

playedwithRutledge’stie.ItwasBee,Shawndecided.Rutledgeseemedtohaveabitofasoftspotfor
Bee,thoughitwasstrangethatRutledgewastoleratingthisevenfromBee.

Thatwas,untilShawnstudiedRutledge’sface.Eveninthedimlightofthelamp,hisfacelooked

uncharacteristicallyunguardedandtired.

“Iwasvisitingmyfamily,”Rutledgemurmured.
Beesuckedonherthumb.“Irememberyourfamily.Yourdaddidn’tlikeusverymuch.”
AstrangelookcrossedRutledge’sface.Hesaidnothing.
“Shawnsaidyou’regettinganewfamily.”
Rutledgestiffenedvisibly.“Didhe?”
Beenodded.“Hewasverysad.”
Shawnfelthimselfflush.Didshehavetotellhimthat?
Rutledgehadanoddexpressiononhisface.“Washe?”hemurmured.
“Iwassad,too,”Beesaid.“Idon’tunderstand.Whydoyouwantanewfamily?Youhaveus.”
Kids,Shawnthought,bitinghislip.Theyhadnofear.Insomeways,kidswerebraverthan

adults.

Rutledgeopenedhismouthandthenclosedit.ItwasthefirsttimeShawnhadseenhimataloss

forwords.Rutledge’sthroatconvulsedbeforehetoldBee,“Don’tworry,Iwon’tbegettinganew
family.”

Shawnbreathedout.
“Aren’tyousupposedtobeasleep,midget?”

BeestudiedRutledgeseriouslywithherbigblueeyes.“You’resad,too.Somethingbad

happened?”

AhumorlesssmiletwistedRutledge’slips.“Youcouldsaythat.”
“WhenI’msad,ShawnhugsmeandIdon’tfeelsosadanymore.Youwantahug?”
ShawnexpectedRutledgetorejecttheofferwithasneer.
Hedidn’t.Hesaidnothing.
Takinghissilenceasayes,BeestoodupandputhershortarmsaroundRutledge’sneck.

Rutledgehadtosteadyher.

ShawnstaredatRutledge’sbighandsonhislittlesister ’sbackandthenathisblank,stoicface.
Quietly,heclosedthedoorandpaddedbacktothebed.
Abouttwentyminutespassedbeforeheheardthedooropenagain.Therewasarustleof

clothingbeforethemattressdippedunderRutledge’sweightandheslidunderthecoversnextto
Shawn.

ThespeedwithwhichShawnlatchedontohimwouldhavebeenembarrassingifShawncould

bringhimselftocare;hedidn’t.Hejustneededtokisshim.Neededtotouchhim.Sohekissedhim
andRutledgekissedhimbackjustashungrily,hislipsurgent,almostdesperate.

Shawnwasn’tsurehowmanyminutestheyspentkissing—itfeltlikehoursandsecondsatthe

sametime.

Whentheyfinallystoppedkissingtobreathe,Shawnwaswarmfromheadtotoe.Hookinghis

legoverRutledge’ship,heputhisheadonhischest.Rutledge’sheartbeatunderhisear,strongand
fast.

Foralongwhile,therewasonlycompanionablesilence.
“Hedied,didn’the?”Shawnwhisperedatlast.
HefeltRutledgegorigidunderhim.“Yes.”
Shawnhesitated,unsurewhattosay.“Whathappened?Someonesaidyouweregettingmarried.”
Rutledgesighed,somethingShawnfeltmorethanheardasRutledge’schestexpandedunderhis

cheek.“ItwasJoseph’smanipulationsagain.Iwenttherebecausehetoldmehewasonhisdeathbed.
WhenIarrived,therewasahugegathering.”

“Whatkindofgathering?”Shawnsaid,runninghisfingersthroughDerek’schesthair.
“Lotsofpoliticians,richbusinessmenandjournalists.WhenIarrived,Josephmadean

announcement.”

Shawn’seyeswidened.“Heactuallyannouncedyourengagementwithoutaskingyou?It’s

crazy.”Wow.HeknewDerek’sfatherwasadespot,butthatwasridiculous,evenforhim.

Rutledgeseemedtohesitate.“Ithink…Ithinkhehasn’tbeenrightintheheadlately.Andhe

probablyhopedIwouldn’twanttomakeasceneinfrontofsomanyinfluentialpeopleand
journalists.Hewasright—ourfamilywouldhavebecomealaughingstockifIdidthat.Itookhim
asideandtoldhimifhedidn’tdenyhisannouncement,Iwoulddoitmyself.”Rutledgepaused.His
voicewasflatwhenhecontinued,“Hegotfuriousandhadaheartattack.Hewasdeadbythenext
morning.”

Shawnclosedhiseyes.“Didyousortthingsoutbeforehedied?”
Rutledgechuckled,thesoundharshandhumorless.“No.Evenonhisdeathbed,hecalledmethe

biggestdisappointmentofhislife.Hetriedtomanipulatemeevenashewasstrugglingtobreathe.
ThreatenedtoleaveeverythingtoVivian’shusbandifIdidn’tmarrythatgirl.Ofcoursehedidn’t.
He’s—hewastooold-fashionedforthat.”

Shawn’slipsbrushedthewarmskin,andhebreathedin,feelingthesteadybeatofRutledge’s

heartagainsthischeek.“I’mgladyou’reback,Derek.”

HefeltRutledge’sbodystiffenforamomentandthenrelaxagainsthis.

AstrongarmwrappedaroundShawn’sbackandpulledhimclosetightly,almostbruisinghis

ribs.

Shawndidn’tcomplain.HesnuggledclosertoDerek’swarmthandfellasleepmomentarily.
Hesleptlikeababy,forthefirsttimeinaweek.

Chapter23

“Derek,”Shawnsaid,closingthedoor.
Derekdidn’tlookupfromhiscomputer.“Notnow.I’mbusyandyou’re…you’retoo

distracting.”

Shawnsmiled.“Distracting,huh?”
Derekshothimaglare,butitwashalf-heartedatbest.
“Comeon,justtellmealready!”
“Nospecialtreatment,”Dereksaid.“You’lllearnyourgradewheneveryoneelsedoes.

Tomorrow.”

Leaningbackagainstthedoor,Shawnbithislip.“DidIfail?”
Hewasn’tsure.Derekhadhelpedhimalotlately,explainingalotofthestuffShawnhadmissed

atthebeginningofthesemester.Shawnhadthoughthisunderstandingofthesubjectimprovedand
thathe’ddoneprettywellontheexam,butnow,lookingatDerek’sgrimface,hewasn’tsure
anymore.

“No,”Dereksaid.“Youdidn’tfail.”
Shawnbreathedout.“SowhatdidIget?AC,right?”
Derekpursedhislips.“YougotaB.”
Shawn’smouthfellopen.“Really?Wait,didyou—”
“No,Ididn’tgiveyouanyspecialtreatment,”Dereksaid,histonesomewhatdefensive.“Youdid

agoodjob.You’renotunintelligent.Ifyouactuallybotheredtoattendclasses,youwouldn’thavehad
anyproblemsatall.”

Shawngrinned,feelingstupidlywarmandgiddy.Hetookasteptowardthedesk,butDerek

snapped,“Don’t.”

“Why?”
Derekfixedhiseyesonthescreeninfrontofhim,hisjawclenched.“Itoldyou.You’re

distracting.Ihavetowork.”

Shawndidn’twanttogo.Hewantedtohughim.Hewantedtokisshim.Hewantedtocelebrate

withhim.“But…”

Dereksighedthroughhisteeth.“Fine.Comehereandkissme.Onekiss.Thenyou’llgo.”
Shawnwentthereandkissedhim.
Andkissedhimagain.
Andagain.
Andonemoretime.

***

WhenShawnopenedhiseyesthenextmorning,hefoundDerekwatchinghim.
“Morning,”Shawnmurmured,theirfacesjustinchesawayonthepillow.Itfeltunbearably

intimate.“Sleepwell?”

“No,Ididn’t,”Dereksaid,hishandheavyonShawn’sback.“Yourbedisterrible.Ialmostfell

offtwice.”

Shawnsmiledlazily.“Noone’sforcingyoutosleephere.”
Derekdrewhislipsintoathinlineandavertedhisgazeforamomentbeforelookingback.“It

willbemuchmoreconvenientifweusethebedinmyhouse.”

Shawnblinked.“YouknowIcan’tleavethekidsontheirown.”
“Ihaveasparebedroomforthem.”
Shawnstaredathim.“Areyouaskingmetomoveinwithyou?”
Derek’sfacewasblank.“Itwouldbeconvenient.”
“Convenient?”
“Yes,convenient.”
Pressinghislipstogethertokeephimselffromlaughing,Shawnnoddedsolemnly.“Very

convenient.”

“Shutup,Wyatt,”Dereksaid.
Shawngrinnedslowlyandloopedhisarmsaroundhisneck.
Theylookedeachotherintheeyeforalongmoment,andShawnfeltsomethingtighteninhis

chest.Hesaidsoftly,“Iloveyou,too,Derek.”

Derekstaredathimforwhatfeltlikeaneternitybeforehesaid,alittlebreathlessly,“Yes.”
Shawnlaughed.“Okay,we’llhavetoworkonthat—”
Derekshuthimupwithakiss.

TheEnd

JUSTABITOBSESSED

(#2intheStraightGuysseries)

AlexanderSheldonlikesorderandcontrolinhislife.Heisn’thappywhenhisgirlfriendinvites

anotherguyforathreesome.Alexanderbelievesinmonogamy,andhe’sneverbeengoodatsharing
histhings.Itdoesn’thelpthatChristianrubshimthewrongwayfromthebeginning.

Butwhatstartsasanimosityturnsintosomethingelse.Somethingunexpectedandverywrong.
HewasneversupposedtotouchChristian.Hewasneversupposedtofeelpossessiveoftheguy.

Andhemostdefinitelywasn’tsupposedtowantChristianmorethanhewantshisgirlfriend.

It’sarecipefordisaster.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QMGRBDU

ExcerptfromJUSTABITOBSESSED

Chapter12

Christianhadseensomeunlikelycouplesbefore,butnothinghadevercomeclosetotheaffair

betweenhisbestfriendandProfessorRutledge.Exceptitwasn’tevenanaffairanymore:Shawnhad
actuallymovedinwithRutledge,whichwasmind-bogglingonsomanylevelsChristianstillhad
troublebelievingit.

“Ashford,”Rutledgegreetedhim,openingthedoor.
“Professor,”Christiansaidawkwardlyandenteredthehouse.Themanmightbehisbestfriend’s

lover,buttherewasnowayinhellhecouldcallRutledgebyhisfirstname.

“Shawnisthere,”RutledgegesturedtothedoortohisleftbeforegivingChristianahardlook.

“I’mworking,sodonotdisturbme.Keepyourvoicedown.”

“Yes,sir,”Christiansaid.Whatwasitaboutthismanthatmadehimfeellikehewasthreeinches

tall?

ThedooropenedandShawn’sheademerged.“AreyoubullyingChristianagain?”hesaidwith

aneye-roll.

Rutledgeraisedaneyebrow.“Me?Bullying?”
Givinghimalong-sufferinglook,ShawnwalkedtoRutledgeandkissedhim.“Goworkon

yourbookwhileyoustillcan.Don’tforgetthatyoupromisedBeeandEmilyyou’dtakethem
shopping.They’resuperexcited—they’vewantedapuppyforages.”

“Yes,blackandfluffy,”Rutledgesaidwithapinchedexpressiononhisface.
Shawngrinned.“Andwithawhitestaronitsforehead!That’sveryimportantforEmily.”
Rutledgegavehimaglare.“Whatifthere’snosuchpuppy?”
“I’msureyoucanbullypeopleintofindingyouone,”Shawnsaid.“Goworkbeforetheywake

up.”

Shakinghisheadandlookingmoderatelyirritated,RutledgekissedShawnonthelipsand

headedupstairs,presumablytohisoffice.

“Thisisseriouslycreepingmeout,man,”Christiansaid,blinking.
Shawnsnortedandledhimintotheroom.“Sometimesitstillweirdsmeout,too.”Heflopped

downontothecouchandsmiledwidely.“ButI’veneverbeensohappy.”

Christianlookedaroundtheelegantroom.“Ibetitdoesn’thurtthathe’sloaded,huh?”
Shawnjustlaughed.“So,”hesaid,turningtheTVoff.“What’supwithyoulately?”Helookedat

Christianintently,hisblueeyesserious.Thoseweresomebeautifuleyes,buttheywerelightblue,not
atalllike—

Christiancringed.Thiswasgettingridiculous.
“Imean,I’vebeenashittyfriendlately,”Shawnsaidwithasheepishlook.“Thingshavebeen

crazy,andDerekpracticallytookovermylife.Iknowit’sabadexcuse,but—”

“Don’tsweatit,”Christiansaid,sinkingintoacomfy-lookingarmchair.
“So,what’sup?”Shawnasked.“You’vebeenkindofweirdforawhile.”

Christianrubbedthecornerofhislefteye.“RememberthethreesomeIhadwithMilaandher

boyfriend?”

Shawnnodded,buthewasfrowning.“Wasn’titamonthago?”
“Yeah,”Christiansaid.“Thethingis,itwasn’ttheonlytimeithappened.Basically,it’sbeen

goingonforamonth—well,untilChristmas.”

Shawn’seyeswidenedslightly.“Forsolong?Butyouusuallydon’t…”
“No,Iusuallydon’t,”Christiansaidquietly.
Therewasalongsilence,duringwhichChristianfoundthreescrewsontheceilingandone

smallstainonthewallthatmighthavebeenabugatonetime,thoughhecouldn’timagineRutledge
smashingabug.

“Areyouinarelationshipwiththem?”Shawnsaid,hisvoiceslowandconfused.
ThelaughthatleftChristian’sthroatwasabitstrained.“No.They’reacouple,andI’mtheir

fuck-toy.That’sit.”

“Youaren’ttellingmesomething.Iknowyou,Chris.”
Christianlookedathishands.
“Idon’twantathreesome,”hewhispered.
“Youmean…”Shawnsoundedshocked.
“Yeah.I’mfuckingjealous.AndIhateit.It’sdrivingmenuts.”
“Jealousofwhom?Him…orher?”
“Her,”Christiansaid,hisvoiceflat.“Ihatewatchinghertouchhim,andkisshim—andfuck

him.”Christianchuckled.“Iknow;it’sridiculous.Shehaseveryrighttotouchhim—she’sbeenhis
girlfriendfortwoyears.I’mnothingtohim.But…”

“Areyouinlovewithhim?”
Christianlickedhislips.“I—Idon’tknow.”Hesmiledhumorlessly.“Ifthisislove,itfucking

sucks.Ialwaysthoughtlovewassupposedtomakepeoplehappy.I’veneverfeltsoshittybefore.It’s
notevenjustsex.IhateitwhenIseethemtogether,whenIwatchthembeallcouple-yandcute.She
cantouchhimwhenevershewants.Sheholdshishand.Shespendsnightswithhim—sheliveswith
him.”

HemetShawn’seyes.“I’mstartingtohateher,youknow.Shedoesn’tdeserveit.She’safun,

nicegirl.Iusedtolikeher.AndnowIkindawanttoclawhereyesout,stompmyfootlikeakidand
shout‘Mine!’everytimeshetoucheshim.AndI’msureshealreadyknowsIwantmoreofhim.She
wantsmegone.Iknowthat.”Chrissnorted.“AndIcan’tsayIblameher.”Hesighedheavily,running
ahandoverhisface.“It’sdrivingmenuts.Andit’s…it’sfuckingstupid.Ibarelyknowhim.Idon’t
understandhim.Butit’slike…Ican’tseparatesexfromemotion,youknow?Ialwayscouldbefore,
butwithhim,Ijustcan’t.Iwanttopleasehim.Wanthimtolikeme.It’sfuckingridiculous.”

Shawnwassilentforawhilebeforeaskingquietly,“Whatabouthim?Doyouthinkit’sone-

sided?”

Slumpingbackinthearmchair,Christiansighedagain.“Idon’tknow.He’sveryhardtoread.

SometimesIthinkthere’ssomethingthere,but…butIdon’tthinkhetreatshisgirlfriendanydifferent
thanheusedto.He’salwaysso…attentivetoher.Stilltheperfectboyfriend.”

Shawn’smouthsetinagrimline.“Don’tshootthemessenger,but…ifhefeltthesamewayyou

do,wouldn’thebejealousofher,too?Theirrelationshipwouldhavedeteriorated.Ifthey’restillfine,
it…itdoesn’treallylookgoodforyou.”

Christian’sstomachchurned.HeknewShawnwasright.Thesamethoughthadoccurredtohim,

too.“Iknow.”

Theybothfellsilent.
“Whatareyougoingtodo?”Shawnsaidatlast.

Christianbittheinsideofhischeek.
“Thesmartthing,”hesaid,meetingShawn’seyes.“QuitwhileIstillcan.”

BuythebookatAmazon:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QMGRBDU

AbouttheSeries

CurrentlytheStraightGuysseriesincludesthefollowingbooks:

#0.5-

StraightBoy:AShortStory

(Sage&Xavier)

#1-JustaBitTwisted(Shawn&Derek)
#2-

JustaBitObsessed

(Alexander&Christian)

I’mcurrentlyworkingonthethirdbookintheseries,JustaBitUnhealthy(JaredandGabriel’s

story).Ifyouwouldliketobenotifiedwhenthebookbecomesavailable,subscribetomynewsletter:

http://www.alessandrahazard.com/subscribe/

Ilovetalkingtoreadersandwouldlovetohearyourthoughts.Youcancontactmeatmy

website

www.alessandrahazard.com

oremailmeatalessandrahazard@gmail.com.

Thankyouforreading.Ifyouaresoinclined,areviewonAmazonisalwaysappreciated.

Kindregards,
AlessandraHazard

Document Outline

Contents
Title Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Excerpt from JUST A BIT OBSESSED
About the Series

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