Storyid: 4612389
FanFiction.net
Name: A Whole New Life
Author: definatelystaying



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Chapter: 1


5..4..3..2..1.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Bella POV

The cry went up all around us as our lips met. At first, the kiss was hesitant – then his mouth
opened against mine and it deepened. His hand caressed my face, and then wound into my hair. I
was a little surprised at his intensity; he'd been so distant since I told him about the baby. As the
kiss ended, he pulled away slightly and then touched his lips to mine softly – once, twice.. "I
love you, so much" he said earnestly, looking into my face. He pulled me against him, and I laid
my cheek on his chest. He stroked my face as we listened to the traditional playing of Auld Lang
Syne.

As the song ended, he brought his lips next to my ear and said "I have a surprise for you when
we get home. I have been working on it for about a month, but I wanted to wait until tonight to
show it to you. New Years is important to me because while it's not a traditional gift giving
holiday, I got the best gift I could have hoped for on it." I smiled into his chest. He really could
overdo it sometimes. We'd met at his parents' traditional New Year's party.

I pulled back and looked into his eyes, there was excitement there and an intensity I hadn't seen
lately. I hoped our child would have the same beautiful green eyes, and that they would sparkle
like Edward's. "I've missed you." I said softly. He tightened his hold on me and said, "I know,
love. When we get home we're going to see your surprise, and cuddle in front of the fire and talk.
Really talk. There is so much that I want to tell.." he was cut off by a high beeping sound and I
felt his pocket vibrate. "Oh, God.. Not now PLEASE.." he said, pulling out his Blackberry. He
looked at the screen and said "Damn it.. DAMN IT.. I asked for one DAMN NIGHT.." I sighed
and said, "It's okay, I know you have to go." I tried to keep my voice casual as the misting
clouded my eyes. He put his finger under my chin, pulling my face up. "It's not okay," he said
"but I do have to go. An 8 year old boy in a multi-vehicle accident needs surgery. I should be
back in an hour, I'm only needed as backup in case the primary on call can't make it. Please wait
with here with mom and Alice, and I'll be back to take you home. I really do want to talk." And
then he did something he had never done before; he kneeled down and put his hands on either

side of my very pregnant stomach and kissed it. "Be safe." He said simply, as he dashed for his
coat. I watched and he and Carlisle headed out the door. It must be a fairly large accident if
Carlisle was paged in too.

I sat down on the couch and thought about our interrupted conversation. What kind of surprise
could he have put together for me? He wanted to talk? He'd been so distant over the course of my
pregnancy. I knew that he thought it was bad timing, but I wanted him to be at least a little
happy. He had said that he wanted to be more established in his field before a baby 'took over
our lives'. I got the feeling that there was something else, something deeper – but he threw
himself into his residency and with our schedules sometimes I wouldn't see him for days at a
time. Esme said that Carlisle was the same way when she was pregnant with Edward, but that
he'd gotten over it. She said that Edward would too, though I could tell she was a little
disappointed in her son.

Edward's sister, Alice on the other hand was ecstatic about the baby. She and I had always been
close anyway being college roommates. She told me over and over that it would be fine. Edward
was really good with his new niece whenever we'd visit Emmett and Rose. That made me
hopeful, but sad. Why wasn't he happy about his own child?

When Edward wasn't back at 2:00, I decided to just head home. I made my way to Alice and
Esme to say goodnight. They asked me to stay in the guest room and not go home alone. I told
them I was fine, we were only 10 minutes away and that I'd text Edward to let him know. They
tried to protest, but I was tired and emotional and I just wanted to go home. I grabbed my coat
and headed for the Volvo.

Edward POV

The primary on call was, of course, intoxicated. I mean, we didn't expect to get called in on New
Year's Eve, but he should have been more responsible. It was nearly 2:00 by the time I'd finished
the boy's surgery. Thankfully, he would live and make a full recovery. I felt a small surge of
pride at that, but I was anxious to get back to Bella so we could talk about our own child. Our
child. When she'd told me she was pregnant, just days after I finally graduated from medical
school, I was floored. I mean yes, I wanted to have kids, but I hadn't even started my residency
yet. I wanted for us to spend time being Edward and Bella. More than that, I was terrified. My
life was in such chaos at that time. I hadn't picked a specialty, which felt to me like I didn't know
what direction I wanted my life to take. I felt .. well.. rudderless, and now I'd have this little
person that I was supposed to help shape and mold into who they were going to be. How could I
do that when I didn't even know myself?

As I was walking out through the ER, I heard the ambulance radio going off again. Great, I
thought, another MVA. Thankfully, there were enough people here to handle it and I could go
home. Then, I heard something that made my heart stop.

"The most critical victim is a female, late 20's. She appears to be 7-8 months pregnant. It looks
like the placenta is intact. She's unconscious, with a serious frontal head injury. Her breathing is
shallow and her heart rate is high. She's going into labor. Thank God, she was properly

restrained – being in a Volvo probably helped too. We're in route, about 2 minutes out."

No.. Please God.. Not Bella.. Please. . Please..

I ran to the ER desk and practically yelled to the nurse. "Page Dr. Carlisle Cullen to the ER, and
prep an OR. Have the NICU on standby." Something she saw in my panicked, frantic face made
her move and she did as I asked. I heard a voice behind me "There's no need to page me to the
ER. What's happened, Edward? Why are you yelling?"

I turned my anguished face to his and said, "It's Bella.. She's been in an MVA, she's unconscious
and in labor. My Bella.. I couldn't let anyone else.. Please.." I finished my head in my hands. He
put his hand on my shoulder and said "Of course I'll help Bella, son. Don't worry. But you must
stay out of the way; you're too emotional right now." I nodded. I knew that emotion would not
help Bella in the ER, it would cloud my judgment. "I have to ask you," he said softly "who is the
priority? I don't know their conditions, but if I can only save one – who is the priority?" I had
asked this question of fathers only a handful of times, but I never thought I would hear it being
asked of me. Who do you choose, Edward? Your loving wife? Your unborn child? Bella would
choose the child, without question. She would give her life to save the baby. I said, without
thinking, "Bella. Please, I can't think about.." He nodded and went to prep.

This story will include Lemons later, I promise. One of them will be a flashback by Edward
which turned into a one-shot called "Until Spring Break" (if you want to jump ahead). I will
try to post at least once a week (more often when I can). Review and let me know what you
think as you read. I write these for fun, but if no one wants to read them, there's no point in
posting. Thanks!


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Chapter: 2


"I have to ask you," he said softly "who is the priority? I don't know their conditions, but if I can
only save one – who is the priority?" I had asked this question of fathers only a handful of times,
but I never thought I would hear it being asked of me. Who do you choose, Edward? Your loving
wife? Your unborn child? Bella would choose the child, without question. She would give her life
to save the baby. I said, without thinking, "Bella. Please, I can't think about.." He nodded and
went to prep.

Chapter Two – Meeting Elizabeth

Edward POV

I heard the stretcher hit the ER doors and they rushed Bella in. I felt a hole rip open in my chest

as I caught sight of her. She was strapped to a spinal board, and had a cervical collar. Her hair
was matted with drying blood. Her face had lost all color, and was also covered in blood. Her
lips were blue, she was obviously in shock. I felt the sob leave me, but didn't hear it as I stepped
back to clear the way. I tried to process my wife's broken appearance and get a hold of myself –
she needed me now.

"Edward!" I heard my father call out. I looked up and he said "We're taking her to the OR, we
need to deliver the baby – her heart rate is too high and she's in shock." I nodded. "Call Alice and
then meet me upstairs." Finally, my own shock began to wear off and I sprinted for the ER doors.
I called Alice from outside the door. She said that she would coordinate everyone else and they
would be there as fast as they could. I told her we'd be upstairs in surgery. I raced upstairs to the
surgeon's area and prepped. I knew I wouldn't be able to assist, but I had to be in there with her.

I walked into the OR and saw Bella on the table. They were giving her the spinal block so my
father could start the delivery. I rolled a stool over to the head of the table where a nurse was
trying to clean Bella's face. "I'll do that." I said softly to her. "Please, help my father." I took the
cloth from her and began slowly wiping the blood from Bella's face. My tears flowed relentlessly
as I whispered to her over and over "It's okay, my Bella. You're going to be okay. Our baby is
going to be okay. I love you, Bella..." I don't know how long I sat like that, but then I heard it, a
baby crying. The sound was soft, not like Emmett's daughter, and strained. I looked up as the
NICU team took the baby to the side and started to work. I looked up at my father, he was
closing the surgery. "I'll be right back, sweetheart." I told Bella as I went to the baby.

I heard the doctor; I think his name was Alec, reciting the APGAR for the nurse. "Good activity,
strong pulse, moderate grimace, bluish extremities, slow breathing – record a 7 and let's get her
upstairs into a tent." Her. I had a daughter. I watched her tiny face as the doctor looked up at me
and smiled, she's going to be okay Dr. Cullen. Your wife was far enough along that the baby's
lungs were intact, she's just stressed from the trauma. "Thank you," I sighed. "The rest of my
family should be here now, can I have my sister go up with the baby so I can stay with my
wife?" He nodded and said "I'll have one of the nurses locate your sister, so you don't have to
leave. I hope she's alright." He said, glancing at Bella on the table. I was so relieved that my
daughter was safe, that she'd be okay. I couldn't explain the feelings that flooded me when I saw
her tiny face. She was beautiful. Her eyes were the same color as Bella's, soft and brown. I
couldn't tell what color her hair really was, dark by the look of it, but it was still wet and matted
from her birth. I watched them roll her from the room with a heavy heart. I wanted to go up with
her, but Bella was the one in danger now.

I went back to my wife's side and told her softly, "Bella, sweetheart, we have a little girl. She's
just fine. You just come back to me so we can go see her. " I held her hand in mine. "Please,
Bella." I sat looking into her face, talking to her softly for an immeasurable period. Finally, my
father put his hand on my shoulder. "We need to take her down for an MRI, Edward." He said
gravely. The surgery went well, but we need to check out that head injury. The fact that she
hasn't stirred at all worries me." I nodded and said "I know, I've been worried about that too, but
I knew we couldn't move her until after surgery." We moved Bella to radiology and the techs got
her into the machine. When the image came on the screen, I let out an audible sigh. There
appeared to be similar bruising on the frontal lobe and the ancipital lobe, sure sign of a

contrecoup injury, but they weren't large bruises. It most likely occurred from hitting her head
and having it snapped back from the airbag. Her brain was also a bit swollen, but didn't appear to
be enough for surgery. We would need a neurologist confirmation, however, to know for sure.
My father looked up at me and said "Thank God, it looked worse than it was. Scalp wounds are
notorious bleeders, I thought when she first came in…" he trailed off. "I know." I said.

I decided to go see my daughter while they put Bella in a room. I knew with Carlisle's position in
the hospital that they would put Bella in a private suite. She would be more comfortable there.
Hopefully soon we could move our daughter in with her; Bella would want her to be close. When
I walked into the NICU, I saw Alice and my mom next to a crib with a plastic oxygen tent over
it. That was a good sign, she didn't require intubation, they were just increasing her oxygen as a
precaution because of her low APGAR score. The same doctor came over to me as I approached.
"She's just fine, her color has improved and we were ready to remove the tent. Would you like to
hold your daughter?" I just stared, dumbfounded at the baby in the crib. She had been cleaned up
and she looked perfect. Her little eyes opened and I saw, to my joy, that they weren't just Bella's
eyes in color. She actually had Bella's eyes – the shape, the light.. But, there was some of me in
her too. She had my hair, bronze, wavy. When I took her into my arms and sat in the rocker, her
little hand closed over my finger. I saw that she had long slender fingers like me, pianist fingers.
I would teach her to play, I decided at once. I would teach her everything. She was an angel, my
angel – and in that moment I knew that I loved this child beyond all reason.

My mother came over then, and smiled at the look of wonder on my face. "She's beautiful,
mom." I said, almost unnecessarily. "She is." My mom said, running her fingers through my hair,
like she had when I was a boy. "You are going to make such a wonderful father." She said
confidently. Alice came over then, and I noticed she had a video camera. She had recorded my
first interaction with my daughter. I looked up at her curiously. "For Bella." She said softly. "Dad
told us she hasn't woken yet, and I knew she wouldn't want to miss anything." I nodded, the tears
that I had fought against, finally falling. "I don't know when she'll wake up, Ali. Her head injury
is serious." I dropped my head and added, "It's not fair, it should be me lying there. Not her. Not
her, Ali." I stroked my daughter's beautiful face, her hair. It should be me. Bella should be here
with our daughter.

"How do you work that out?" Alice asked, shocked.

"I should have been driving. If I hadn't been paged, I'd have been driving. In fact, we would have
left sooner, and missed it all together. It's my fault. She's lying upstairs and it's my fault. We
were supposed to be home now, seeing the nursery we were going to surprise her with – picking
out names. We should have been making love in front of the fire." I felt my sister's hand on my
shoulder. "I never got a chance to tell her, Ali. I never told her that I was ready. I wanted to show
her the nursery so she would know it wasn't just words. I wanted to talk about names. She'd been
leaving post-its around the house for me this last week with different names. Pink notes for girl's
names, and blue for boy's names. It was so sweet. I kept them all, so we could talk about it today,
but she never knew I'd been thinking about names too. I was such an idiot."

"You are an idiot." Alice said with a smile in her voice. "But she knew that you would come
around. She and mom talked about it. Apparently dad was an idiot too." My mom nodded down

at me, and Alice set the video camera on a table near us, still facing us.

"Ali, are you going to tape everything?" I asked, exasperated.

She giggled and said, "Yes. I can always edit out the boring parts later. That's one of the
advantages of being best friends with a media editor. Rose and I will make DVD's out of this
later for Bella." Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper, "for when she wakes up."

"Mom, would you hold your granddaughter so I can hug my baby sister please?" I asked,
smiling. I stood up so she could sit in the rocker, and handed her my baby girl. I turned and
pulled Alice into my arms. She shook as she cried into my shoulder. I knew this wasn't just hard
on me. Bella is Alice's best friend, and keeping up this happy façade for me was killing her.
"She's going to be okay, Alice. Shhhhh…" I said, rubbing her back. "This just means that until
Bella is back with us, you'll have to shop for the baby." She giggled at that. Shopping is the cure
for anything in Alice's mind.

"Okay." She said, and stepped back. She reached down and picked up what I recognized
immediately as Bella's handbag. "I got this from the ER nurse." She answered my unspoken
question. "I want to show you something." She reached into the handbag and pulled out a
paperback book, sporadically marked with yellow post-it notes. She found one note with a big
asterisk and opened to that page. There, marked clearly in Bella's hand, was a note that said
"Elizabeth Mary". "I knew she had decided on a name for a girl. She said that she wanted
Elizabeth after her grandmother, and Mary after Mary Alice Cullen." She said with a grin. I
looked down at my daughter – Elizabeth.

Without another word, I went to the nurse's station and asked that her name be changed in the
record from Baby Cullen to Elizabeth Cullen. When I returned to Alice's side, I kissed her on the
head and said "Thank you, Ali. I couldn't have asked for better sister." She hugged me and said,
"I couldn't stand for us to keep calling her 'Baby Cullen' until Bella wakes up. I knew she wanted
Elizabeth, so there was no point in waiting." I sighed and added "I wish I'd have known. I feel
like I missed so much."

At that moment, a nurse came in and said "Dr. Cullen, it's time for Elizabeth's feeding. Would
you like for me to…?" I looked at my mother, fear evident on my face. She just smiled and
nodded. I took a deep breath and said "No, I need to learn how to take care of her. I don't know
how long.." My sister slapped me on the arm at that point and said "You won't be alone, we're all
here. We'll all help you care for Elizabeth until Bella is able to take care of her with you. You
were right earlier though." She said with a grin. "About what?" I asked, skeptical. "You are an
idiot." She giggled.

Emmett and Rose went up to sit with Bella while I learned the finer points of feeding and
changing Elizabeth. It came more naturally than I would have guessed. After a few hours, we
moved Elizabeth up to Bella's private suite. She was progressing beautifully, and would have
been moved to a regular peds unit anyway. I carried Elizabeth over to Bella, and laid her face
down on Bella's chest. I held her there, stroking her back with one hand, while she snuggled into
Bella's chest. I was willing to try anything at that point to get Bella to open her eyes. I wanted

her back so badly.


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Chapter: 3


I carried Elizabeth over to Bella, and laid her face down on Bella's chest. I held her there,
stroking her back with one hand, while she snuggled into Bella's chest. I was willing to try
anything at that point to get Bella to open her eyes. I wanted her back so badly.

Chapter Three – Memories

Edward POV

As Elizabeth lay sleeping in the crib, I sat watching Bella. Alice had finally turned off the damn
camera and left it sitting on the table, so I felt like I could really talk to Bella now. She was not
just my wife, but my best friend, and I needed her. I missed her so much. I know she can't hear
me, but maybe letting it out will ease the weight in my chest. There was so much I wanted to tell
her.

"Bella, love? Can you hear me?" I asked, knowing it was useless. "Ah, Bella. What I wouldn't
give for you to sit up and smack me in the back of the head, just like Alice. I miss you so much,
it's like there's this hole in my chest that just won't heal until you're back with me." I held her
hand against my face, and continued. "I want you to run your fingers through my hair. I want you
to tell me I'm doing a good job with Elizabeth. I want to make you breakfast in bed. I want you
to open your eyes, baby, please. Please.." The sob caught in my throat. I couldn't lose control
now; I had to be strong for her, for them. I took a deep breath and continued. "Elizabeth smiled
at me today. I can't wait for you to see her, I know Alice caught it on video, she catches
everything." I rolled my eyes. "She's getting bigger every day. It looks like being a preemie isn't
going to affect her development, thank God. She eats like there's no tomorrow. I love feeding
her, it's a great excuse to just hold her." I smiled at Bella. "I love her so much, Bella. It's
staggering sometimes." I finished in a whisper. "I never knew that I could feel this way about
anyone else but you - like I could move mountains, just to see her smile."

I put my head down, resting my forehead on our entwined hands. "I don't know why I was so
scared of this, Bella. I wish I could go back and do it all again. I would have been there for every
appointment, every kick, every craving. We would have sat talking about her future for hours. I
screwed up so badly, I know. You'll probably hate me when you wake up, and I wouldn't blame
you. I swear I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know how much I love you, and
Elizabeth. I will be by your side every second for the next one, the next two, the next five. If
Elizabeth is any indication, I want for us to have as many kids as we can handle." I looked up
then, pushing back a loose hair from her face. I stroked her cheek softly, and said more seriously

"You are my air, Bella. I can't really breathe without you here. You are my everything, my other
half. If it takes begging, then I will. Please Bella, please open your eyes. A lifetime of servitude
up for grabs if you just open your eyes. Elizabeth wants to meet her mommy." A tear escaped
down my face. "I can't stand being without you, love."

I sighed and sat back. "I remember the first time I saw you. I didn't think you could be real. You
were like a vision in that dress. Blue has always been my favorite on you, but that night you were
just breath taking. Alice said it took her five whole minutes just to get my attention long enough
to tell me your name. It took me another hour before I worked up the nerve to talk to you. Alice
had talked about you, of course, because you are so close – but I thought for sure you'd think I
was a geek and keep walking. I was a science nerd, and you.. You were a goddess. But then you
did talk to me. You didn't leave my side all night. We talked about anything and everything until
the sun came up. For the rest of that week, we were inseparable. It was the most amazing week
of my life, and I knew that my life had just changed. Then you had to leave and go back to
school with Alice. I knew I had just one chance to show you the depth of my feeling for you,
even if it was too soon to tell you. That last moment in the garage before you got into the car, I
threw everything I had into that kiss. It was heaven to feel you respond in kind. Little did I know
what other wonders would come from that kiss." I said, blushing a little as I thought about that
phone call. We had both been virgins then, inexperienced. I'd kissed girls on dates in college, but
I was always too focused on school to date anyone seriously. Our experience that night on the
phone was surprising, but it drew us so much closer together. It was that trust she placed in me
more than anything else that solidified in my mind that the feelings I had for her were love. It
shocked me that it had happened so quickly, but I knew beyond any doubt that it was true.

- FLASHBACK - 6 WEEKS BEFORE SPRING BREAK -

Edward POV

It's been two weeks since I've seen her, and I can't get her face out of my head. How could I have
known that one night, one party would change my whole life? When I saw my sister's college
roommate at my parent's New Year's Eve party though, I knew nothing would ever be the same.

I wonder if she's awake? I wonder if she's thinking about me, like I'm thinking about her? I
haven't heard her voice in a few days...

"Hello?" she answered, rather breathless.

"Hi there." I said, smiling – though she couldn't see it.

"Oh.." she said softly. " Hello, Edward – how are you?" surprise evident in her voice.

"Uhm.. Fine.. I'm sorry - did I interrupt something?" What the hell was she doing that she's out of
breath and not bothering to check the caller ID on her phone?

She giggled. "Kind of, but I can always finish later."

"What were you doing?" I asked curious now. "It sounded like you were out of breath?"

"Uhmmmmm…" Why was she being so evasive? Is it another guy? I guess she's perfectly within
her right, but I thought we really connected..

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me – I'll just.. talk to you later, I guess.." I said softly.

"No, Edward – it's just a little embarrassing. You might.. think less of me."

"Love, I won't think less of you – please tell me." She was still quiet.

"If you don't tell me, believe me – in my mind I'll make it into something much worse. I'm kind
of headed in that direction already." Please God, don't let it be someone else.. Please..

"Well…" she took a deep breath, "God, I can't believe I'm telling you this. I was thinking about
that last kiss before we both went back to school. " I remembered – I had thrown every ounce of
passion I had into that kiss, not knowing if I'd ever see her again. "And well, I kind of got a little
excited, and.. uhmm.."

I was instantly hard. I interrupted her while she was thinking about me, and touching herself. I
moaned softly into the phone, I couldn't help it.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything", she said – clearly embarrassed.

"No, it's not that – it's just that, well.. now I'm excited too." I dropped my voice, and nearly
whispered, " I just got the most wonderful mental image of you.. lying naked on top of your
covers.. and touching yourself. I wish I could watch."

Bella POV

"I wish I could watch."

I gasped, just the thought of him being here, watching me – it excited me even more. "Edward,
what would you be doing if you were here with me?" I asked, shyly. I loved the fact that I could
make him excited. This Greek God was aroused by the thought of me, it was an incredible high.

"Bella, could you hold on just a second – I want to lock my door. And would you mind if I got
undressed too?" Oh dear God..

"Uhm.. No, I don't mind, I think I'll do that too. " I giggled as he groaned into the phone. Well,
and a little more… I also switched to my Bluetooth ear piece to have my hands free. "Okay, I'm
here."

He said with a soft laugh "Where were we?"

"Well, I believe we're both naked in our separate beds, Edward. Thinking about all the things

we'd like to be doing to each other instead of ourselves." Where had all this boldness come from?

"Oh, God.. Bella there are so many things I'd like to be doing with you right now.."

"Like what?"

"I'd love to be lying on top of you, your naked body pressed against mine – kissing you, and
stroking your cheek." He said, shyly – almost lovingly.

I stroked my cheek softly, like he would if he were here and took in a deep breath at the
sensation.

"What are you doing right now, Bella?" he asked softly.

"I'm stroking my cheek, thinking about what you said." I said, honestly.

"And.. what if I told you that next I would like to move my hands down from your face, over
your neck – and then down to your perfect breasts?" I allowed my hands to mimic his words,
moaning softly as my palms grazed over my hard nipples. "Mmmmm… Edward…" I moaned
softly, just loud enough for him to hear me. I'd never done anything like this before. I can't
believe I was doing it now, I hope he still talked to me after this.

"That sounds so nice.. I love hearing you say my name – I love hearing you moan my name even
more. It makes me even harder than I was before. I wish you were here, I wish it were your hand
on me instead of mine.. Are you touching your breasts?" He asked, slightly out of breath.

"Yes", I whispered.

He hissed between his teeth.. "God, Bella.." I could hear the phone changing position. "Roll your
nipples between your fingers for me, pinch them…" I did as he asked, causing my back to arch
off the bed, and a much louder moan to escape.

"That's it, baby", he said in a low seductive tone, clearly excited by the sound. "Make your
nipples nice and hard. I wish I could be sucking them right now… running my teeth across
them.. massaging your beautiful breasts. I bet you feel so soft… so warm.."

God, this is so hot.. I was rubbing my legs together, trying to create friction. I wanted to keep
going.

"Please… Edward.. Wh..Where else would you touch me?" I managed in a horse whisper –
nervous, but so excited. I wanted to hear him say it. I wanted to know where else he wanted me
to touch.

Edward POV

"Please.. Edward.. Wh..Where else would you touch me?"

My breathing coming in pants now, I thought about her question. Where wouldn't I like to touch
her? I wanted to feel every inch of her, but from her impassioned plea, I knew what she wanted
to hear.

"I would run my fingers along the flat plane of your stomach, while my mouth continued to tease
your nipples. I'd run my hand over your hip, and down the top of your thigh." She whimpered
softly, and I imagined her hands taking the same route. I have never been so hard – especially for
a girl that is not even in the same room.

"I would slide my hand up, between your thighs to see how wet you were for me. Are you wet
for me now, Bella?" I squeezed myself harder at that thought as I heard her moan in agreement
"Mmmm hmmmm.." I knew in that moment that I would not be able to hold out much longer.

"Bella, if I were there, how would you touch me?" I asked quietly, wondering if she would be
able to answer. I know that she's a little shy.

"I.. I want to take you b.. between my soft hands and stroke you." She said, stammering a little in
her embarrassment. But nothing could have prepared me for what she said next.

"But what I'd really like to do is.. uhmm.. push you down onto the edge of my bed and get on my
knees in front of you. I want to take you into my mouth and please you." She finished quickly.

Just imagining her on her knees in front of me, looking into my eyes and she pulled me into her
mouth – my breathing came in wild gasps, and I moaned loudly as I grabbed the blankets in both
hands trying to control myself. I wanted to keep this going, I didn't want to lose control just yet.

As I started calming down, I was able to get out "God, Bella.. Oh God, you have no idea how
much I'd like that. How much I want you right now." I took a few deep breaths to steady myself
and continued. "I'd love to spread you open, pressing your knees against the bed with my
forearms, holding you open – so exposed. I'd use my fingers to spread you open wider to me.
You could feel the cool air against you – hot and wet. I want you to feel my cheek, so soft
against the inside of your thigh before I tease you with my mouth. I want to taste you, so sweet
on my tongue. I want to feel the muscles in your thighs clench and relax as I tease you. I want to
feel you clench around my hand as I slide my fingers into you."

At that moment, I heard a humming sound from the other end of the phone that I couldn't quite
place. After a minute, it took on a kind of rhythmic sound – softer and then louder. And then it
hit me.

"Uhmm.. Bella? That humming.. Is that what I think it is?" Please Please let it be what I think it
is.

"Yes!" she cried out. Then, a little softer she continued, "What you said just excited me so much,
I needed something inside me. I want for it to be you, but this is the next best thing." And then it
came unfettered, unrestrained into my mind – an image of my sweet Bella on the bed, using a

vibrator on her clit, fucking herself with it. I couldn't take any more.

"Bella.. I can't… I have to…" I cried as I felt it coming. "Cum for me Bella, please.. Cum with
me.."

"Oh.. Edward – yes.. I'm so close.. please.."

"During Spring Break when I'm there, I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk
right until summer."

"Yes!" she nearly screamed. "Fuck me so hard Edward – I.. I'm.."

And at hearing my sweet angel begging me to fuck her, my orgasm ripped through me like
wildfire. I came so hard over my stomach and chest, I may have seen stars. I cried her name over
and over, riding each wave of pleasure as it coursed through me.

I lay there, panting – unable to move and I heard her sweet voice on the phone – tentative and
unsure. "Edward?"

"I'm here, sweetheart. Oh God, that was… "

"Incredible." She finished..

"Edward, uhmm.. How long until Spring Break?" she giggled.

"Way too freaking long, love." I sighed.

2 weeks Until Spring Break

Edward POV

God, I can't wait until this week is over. I miss Bella so much. Spring Break is going to be so
amazing. We'd talked on the phone 3 times a week, just talking – never as intimately as that one
special call – but we've gotten to know each other so much better. The calls, texts, and emails
will be nothing compared to finally spending time being able to hold her.

I checked my mailbox as usual, but found a note showing that I had a FedEx at the apartment
complex office. Weird, I hadn't ordered anything. Mom and Dad wouldn't send anything FedEx?
So, I went up to the office, and retrieved the envelope. Checking the return address, I saw it was
from Bella. She hadn't mentioned sending me anything – I was intrigued.

I waved off my roommate and took the package into my bedroom. Opening it, I found a home
burned DVD with a note that said "For Edward's beautiful eyes only." I can't even begin to
imagine what this is. I walked to my bed, grabbing my laptop on my way. I put the DVD into the
drive, and loaded it up. I wasn't quite prepared for what I saw. The title screen came up and said
simply – "You said you wanted to watch."

After the title, I saw Bella standing in front of what must be a video camera on a tripod – taking
off her clothes and putting in a Bluetooth ear piece. She didn't look at the camera, but laid down
on the bed, propped up on pillows. She spread her legs open to the camera – open to me, and
gave one tentative glance up into the lens. I was speechless. I couldn't do anything but watch.

"Okay, I'm here", I heard her say into the ear piece. Then she giggled and said "Well, I believe
we're both naked in out separate beds, Edward. Thinking about all the things we'd like to be
doing to each other instead of ourselves."

I couldn't breathe – she video-taped herself while we were on the phone. I was going to get to
watch as she pleasured herself while talking to me. I hit pause on the DVD software and got up
to lock my door. I put in headphones so I could hear her like she was next to me, and set the
laptop on the bed – lying on my side to watch. I hit play again.

"Like what?" she said softly.

She smiled and closed her eyes, touching her cheek with her fingers. "I'm stroking my cheek,
thinking about what you just said." And then she moved her fingers to her lips, sucking on her
index finger. Slowly, she moved her hands down over her neck and ran her palms over her
breasts. She arched her back slightly, and moaned my name, her eyes still closed. It was the most
erotic thing I've ever seen.

She continued to stroke her nipples, and then whispered softly "Yes." I remember asking her if
she were touching her breasts. Then she rolled her nipples between her fingers, pinching them
hard. She threw her head back, arching, and moaned loudly. She started pulling on her nipples,
still pinching them. I started to rub myself through my sweats, knowing that I wouldn't be able to
stop myself from stroking off to this video. I knew that was her intension.

At that moment, she closed her legs, rubbing them together. She rolled to her side and opened
her bedside table pulling out a lilac colored vibrator, and laid it next to her on the bed. "Please..
Edward.." She said rolling back on to her back. "Wh.. Where else would you touch me?"

My eyes never leaving the screen, I rolled onto my back and lifted my hips pushing down my
sweats and boxers. I began to stroke my hard cock as I saw her hands start to trail down over her
stomach. I could hear her breathing accelerate through the headphones. As one hand slid down
over her hip to her thigh, the other moved back up to her breast, and she whimpered softly. She
spread her legs a little farther, and traced her index finger around her gentle folds, finally sliding
it in. "Mmmmm hmmmm" she said as her head rolled back. I remember asking her if she was
wet for me, and now I can see that she was.

She pulled her hand back up, and took a deep breath – steeling herself. "I.. I want to take you b..
between my soft hands and stroke you." Then she grabbed the vibrator from the bed and said
"But what I'd really like to do is .. uhmmmm.. push you down onto the edge of my bed and get
on my knees in front of you. I want to take you into my mouth and please you." And then she
slid the vibrator between her lips and licked it from bottom to top. She closed her lips around it

and began moving it in and out of her mouth, sucking it – as she imagined sucking me. I stroked
myself harder, hoping I lasted until the end of the video.

She pulled the vibrator out of her mouth, it was glistening wet. She turned it on and started
rubbing it against her clit. She opened her mouth in a silent moan, and closed her eyes tightly.
After a minute, she spread her legs as far as she could, pressing her knees to the bed and began
sliding the vibrator in and out of her. It was positioned upwards so that it stroked her clit while
she fucked herself with it. Her hips began to roll in response, pushing it deeper into her.

"Yes!" she cried out all of a sudden. "What you said just excited me so much, I needed
something inside me. I want for it to be you, but this is the next best thing." She said, pushing it
in and out of her – faster and harder than before.

"Oh Edward – Yes… I'm so close.. please.."

And I could see that she was. I was so excited, but completely enthralled by what I was seeing. I
was so engrossed in my own pleasure the last time – I wanted to watch her orgasm.

All of a sudden, she got up onto her knees with her back to the camera. She pitched forward onto
one forearm, her ass in the air and her legs spread. She moved her hips in time with her hand,
fucking herself with her vibrator. She was making almost animalistic noises, and she cried out
for release.

"Yes!" She nearly screamed. "Fuck me so hard Edward – I… I'm…" Then she leaned forward
and screamed into her pillow, pushing the vibrator inside of her one last time and leaving it there.
She collapsed onto the bed on her stomach, legs slightly splayed, and I could still see it inside of
her. As she started to regain herself, she reached down and pulled it out turning it off in the
process. She set it on the bed next to her and moaned my name.

"Edward?" she said again, this time more of a question.

"incredible" she moaned rolling to her side and curling up under her quilt.

"Edward, uhmmm… how long until Spring Break?" she giggled, and then the video ended.

With a shaking hand, I rewound the video to the point just before she got onto her knees and hit
play. It was all I could do to keep from screaming as I came. As I lay there in bed catching my
breath, I thought of the video that I would send to her in reply.

- END FLASHBACK -

We had made love for the first time during that Spring Break. It was one of the most incredible
nights of my life. There was no awkwardness, no uncertainty. I told her I loved her then, I just
couldn't hold it in any longer. I was elated when she said that she loved me too. I knew then that
I would ask her to marry me; I wanted to spend my life with her. I played with her wedding ring,
now on a chain around my neck. She couldn't wear it in the hospital, and I couldn't stand to leave

it in a drawer. It gave me strength – a little piece of her that I got to carry around with me. It
served as a talisman to the ever deepening weight on my heart. A weight that got heavier with
each day that she didn't come back.


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Chapter: 4


I played with her wedding ring, now on a chain around my neck. She couldn't wear it in the
hospital, and I couldn't stand to leave it in a drawer. It gave me strength – a little piece of her
that I got to carry around with me. It served as a talisman to the ever deepening weight on my
heart. A weight that got heavier with each day that she didn't come back.

Chapter Four – Not the Life I Left

Bella POV

I could feel something soft under my hand. It felt vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it. I felt
like I had been asleep for days, and I had the strangest dream. It was New Year's Eve, and we
were at Alice's parents' house. Oh, I was dreaming about meeting Edward. God, Edward.. I love
him without reason. That's the only thing I knew for sure right now, the rest was hazy. That's
what the softness was; it felt like Edward's hair. I moved my hand, running it through his hair. I
wondered if I was still dreaming. All of a sudden, he moved and his hand was in mine.

"Bella? Bella, love? Can you hear me?" Of course I could hear him, he was standing right beside
me. Wasn't he? "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me. Please, baby." He sounded so frantic. I
squeezed his hand, but I felt weak, feeble. I felt him kiss my forehead. "Thank you, God." He
said softly above me. "Bella, I've missed you so much. " Missed me? How long had I been
sleeping? I just saw him last night. We were out somewhere.. But I couldn't remember where.
How can I not remember last night? Had I been drinking? But no, I didn't drink? I feel so
confused.

I heard a clicking noise somewhere next to me and then a voice sounded from somewhere.
"Yes?" it said with kind of a tinny undertone. "This is Dr. Cullen, can you page her neurologist.
She's starting to wake up." Edward said in a rush. "Of course, Dr. Cullen, I'm so glad to hear
that." The tinny voice replied. She's starting to wake up? Who was that voice? What the hell is
happening?

"Edward?" I said, but my voice didn't sound like me. It was hoarse, and weak. "Oh, Bella." He
said, his voice strained. I felt him kiss me on my cheeks, my forehead, and finally my mouth. I
responded as well as I could, but I was so tired. "Edward, where am I?" I asked softly, still not
finding the strength to open my eyes. "You're in the hospital, love." He said softly, stroking my

hair. The hospital? Had I fallen? And then one thought registered above the others – the baby.
"Edward," I asked frantically "the baby?" My free hand automatically moved to my stomach – it
was flat. I started to panic. "Shhhhh… Bella, honey, it's okay. She's fine." She? "She?" I asked,
not registering why I was no longer pregnant.

At that moment, I heard another voice, an unfamiliar voice. "Bella, I'm Dr. Weber. I work here at
the hospital. I'm going to put your bed up a little higher so that we can talk, is that alright?" She
said, kindly. I nodded and felt my upper body rise until I was nearly sitting. That felt better, the
tiredness was starting to go away. "Bella, can you open your eyes?" she said slowly, and clearly.
I slowly opened my eyes, blinking at the brightness of the room. Finally they adjusted, and I saw
Edward. For some reason, he looked slightly different to me, but I must have still been confused.
I smiled weakly at him, and he beamed back at me. Then I looked over to see a pretty brunette in
a lab coat with a tag reading "Weber". "Very good, Bella." She said, smiling at me. "I'm going to
check a few things here, so just relax." She picked up a small light and shined it into each of my
eyes. It hurt a little, but she must have seen what she was looking for because she was pleased.
She pressed my head, asking me if it was tender, but it wasn't. After a few more odd requests,
she asked me "What is the last thing that you remember clearly?"

I thought about that for a minute. "I rememfber getting ready for the New Year's Eve party. It
took Alice and I ages to find a nice maternity evening dress." I closed my eyes and tried to
concentrate. "I remember Edward picking me up." I smiled. "I remember the look on his face
when I opened the door." He leaned down and kissed me. "Let's see.. We went to the party, and
talked with our friends and family. I remember Edward was happier than I'd seen him in a
while." Then I frowned, "it gets hazy. I remember the ball dropping at midnight, and Edward
kissing me. He said something about a surprise, I think? I don't remember getting a surprise? I
remember a beeping, maybe?" I looked to Edward for help here, it was all fuzzy now. He looked
down, ashamed. "I got paged to the hospital." I thought about that for a minute. "That's right.
You said something about being back in an hour?" He nodded, his face pained. "I remember
talking to Esme and Alice.. Damn.. Why can't I remember? It was just last night for God's sake."
Edward looked at the doctor. "Wait!" I said, my head clearing. "I was talking to Esme and Alice
because I wanted to go home. It had been two hours, and I figured you had gotten stuck at the
hospital. I remember being thankful you left the Volvo. I was upset and I just wanted to go
home." I thought harder now, the fog back in my head. I looked over at the window and saw the
bright light of the setting sun. Bright lights.. "Oh God, the headlights. That truck was going to hit
me. I remember now. What happened, Edward?"

Dr. Weber looked at Edward kindly and said, "I'll be right back, Edward." He put his hand on the
side of my face and took a deep breath. "Love, the truck did hit you. I was in the ER heading
home when the call came in. You were unconscious and in labor when they got you to the
hospital. Carlisle got you to surgery, and I stayed with you while he delivered the baby. She's
beautiful, Bella. She was premature, but perfectly healthy. She has your eyes." He added,
smiling.

"Where is she, Edward? I want to see her." I said quickly.

Dr. Weber returned to the room with a syringe, and waited in a chair off to the side. "She's at

home, Bella. Alice is with her right now. I spend afternoons here with you after my shift, and
Alice watches her." He said, cautiously.

I tried to process that for a minute. Afternoons? This sounded like a regular thing.

"How long, Edward? How long have I been unconscious?" Dr. Weber stood slowly then, making
her way back to the bed. Edward looked as if he were steeling himself for something. He closed
his eyes and said slowly, "Eleven months." Eleven months? I started to hyperventilate, my
breathing coming in gasps. How could I have been out for nearly a year? My baby was nearly a
year old? I had missed a year of her life? Who had taken care of her? Edward certainly hadn't
been interested in the baby at all before her birth, had that changed? Had Esme been raising my
daughter? I started sobbing then, I couldn't contain it. "My baby is almost a year old?" I asked,
wildly. "Who has been taking care of her, Edward? Has Esme..?" Dr. Weber injected something
into my IV and after a moment I felt myself relaxing, mellowing. I looked at her.

"It's okay, Bella. It's normal to be anxious after coming out of a coma. You're disoriented and
scared. It's going to be okay. You have a large dedicated family who will help you through this.
They have been here every day. I've given you something for anxiety, please try to relax now."
She said kindly to me. I nodded, and leaned back against the pillows.

I looked questioningly at Edward, who sighed. "Yes, Elizabeth is nearly a year old. In fact, Alice
has almost everything ready for her party next month. She's been having a blast planning it." He
smiled at that. "And to your second question, I have been taking care of her. There is so much we
need to talk about, are you sure you're up for doing it now?" He asked, concerned. I thought
about that for a minute and nodded. "Carlisle called around for me and found a position where I
could teach. The teaching qualifies for the residency requirement, but I get to work a flexible
week. The college where I'm teaching has a day care with an infant program for Elizabeth. So,
we're in the same building all day. I stop in and eat lunch with her," he said grinning. "After
work, I bring her here and she sits on the bed playing with your hair while I tell you about our
day. On my off days, like today, Alice or mom watches her while I spend the afternoon here with
you. When I get home at night, I make dinner for us. We color, or whatever activity she chooses
really, and then I give her a bath and put her to bed."

I couldn't believe what he was telling me. He hadn't even wanted the baby, and now he was her
primary care giver? He had rearranged his whole life to care for her? "You didn't want a baby." I
whispered. "You've spent the last 6 months, or whenever the hell it was basically ignoring me
because I screwed up your life." My voice was starting to get louder, stronger. "I don't
understand you at all, Edward. I can't deal with this now. It's too much. I want to see my
daughter, Edward." I stopped short at that thought. "But.. she won't know me." I said, the tears
starting to fall. "I'll be a stranger to her, won't I?" I asked, looking at Dr. Weber rather than at my
husband.

"It won't take her long to accept that you're the same person who she's been visiting. I've been
here a few times when she visited. She knows you as mommy. There will be an adjustment, but
it will be okay Bella." I closed my eyes, the tears still falling. How could this have happened?
How could I have let her down so badly? "I've missed her whole first year." I said softly.

Edward jumped up at that and said, "I'll be right back. I have something for you in the car that
might make things easier." He looked almost eager and he ran out of the room. I looked at Dr.
Weber, she just smiled at me. He was back within minutes with a laptop bag.

"A computer is going to make this easier?" I asked, almost harshly. He stopped, looking a little
hurt.

"Alice has had a video camera on Elizabeth since minutes after her birth. She's been the editing
the footage to create DVD's for you. I know it's not the same as being there, but she caught
nearly everything. It's been almost an obsession for her, to make sure you didn't miss anything.
She's missed you so much. While I was outside, I called her to let her know that you're awake.
She's going to call everyone and pick up mom before bringing Elizabeth here." I started to cry in
earnest then. Alice. My poor, sweet Alice. I loved her like she was my own sister. She had
worked so hard to capture everything for me, because she loves me. It was almost too much.

"Elizabeth is coming?" I asked him, looking down to see what I was wearing. I was surprised to
find myself in comfortable pj's instead of a hospital gown.

"Yes, love. They'll be here within the hour. As for your attire, you're in a private suite here at the
hospital, so you're in the clothes Alice has been bringing for you. And to be honest, you've never
looked so lovely." I looked at him skeptically. I'm sure I looked like hell having just been in a
coma for nearly a year. He smiled down at me, taking my hand. "Your eyes are open. That is the
most beautiful thing I've ever seen." He leaned down and kissed my cheek.

I looked at him stunned. I was so used to him being distant with me that I wasn't sure how to
react to his sudden affection. "What's the matter, love?" He asked, confused. "You're just not
usually this.. affectionate with me." I said, looking away. "Since I told you about the baby,
you've been pretty much ignoring me. It's going to take time to adjust." I heard him sigh and
looked up at him. He looked torn, like he wanted to say something but couldn't bring himself to
do it. "What is it, Edward?" I asked softly. "Tomorrow, you and I are going to have a long talk. I
know that you're disoriented and scared right now, so it will wait. Just know that I love you, and
Elizabeth – you are everything I could have dreamed of."

I was saved having to reply when Alice bounded into the room with a small toddler. At first, I
thought it was Jane – Emmett and Rose's daughter. But then I saw her eyes - my eyes. And I saw
her hair - Edward's hair. I knew this was my daughter. She threw her arms out to Edward, and
repeatedly opened and closed her little hands – an obvious request for him to take her. He held
out his arms and laughed "Come here, angel." She jumped into his arms, and she wrapped her
little arms around his neck. "Dada!" she called. "That's right, angel. Daddy's right here. I missed
you! Were you a good girl for Auntie Alice?" "Alley!" she called. Alice grinned at her and then
came over to my bed. She wrapped her arms around me and said "Hi, honey. I missed you so
much." I couldn't really lift my arms, so I leaned my face into hers and said "Hi, yourself. Thanks
for taking care of them for me." She laughed. "Edward does a good job of that all on his own."

Edward brought Elizabeth over then. He was right, she was so beautiful. He asked her "Libby,

who is that?" and pointed to me. She laughed, a tinkling laugh, and said "Mama!" My heart
stopped, I know it did. I looked up at Edward, stunned. He smiled, and sat her down on the bed.
She crawled up and lay down next to me. I made a concerted effort and finally got my arms
around her. They actually felt like they hadn't moved in a year. "Hi, Elizabeth." I said to her,
smiling. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. She hugged me and then turned back to
Edward. "Dada!" she called and he scooped her up again.

Esme and Carlisle came in then. Esme hurried over and hugged me while Carlisle went to talk to
Dr. Weber. "Oh honey, I am so glad to see you awake." I smiled at her. It was a little much to
take in right now. Emmett and Rosalie came in a few minutes later. Charlie followed them. I
looked at him, not able to hold the tears in anymore. "Daddy." I said, as he came over and
wrapped his arms around me. "Thank you. It's all so overwhelming." He stroked my hair and
said "I know, baby. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay now." I cried into his shoulder.
"Have I really been out for a year, Dad?" He sighed. "I'm afraid so, honey." He rubbed my back,
just holding me to him. I needed him right now; he had always been my safe place growing up.
Renee had loved me in her way, but Charlie had loved me unconditionally. He had always been
there for whatever I needed.

Emmett came over then and sat on the side of my bed. "Stop hogging the coma chick, Charlie!"
He grinned at me. "Hey Bells, nice to see your eyes open. I know my brother is hard to look at,
but really – you kind of took it to an extreme there." I busted out laughing. I looked up at
Edward, and he was scowling at his brother. That made me laugh even harder. Elizabeth started
to giggle at me. She thought my laughter was funny. I finally got a hold of myself and grabbed
Emmett's hand. "Come here brother bear." He got off the bed and hugged me. "Thank you," I
said softly in his ear, "I really needed that." He smiled at me, and Rose leaned down to kiss me
on the cheek.

They stayed until visiting hours were over. Edward wanted to stay the night with me, but I really
needed some time to myself. It had just been too much to deal with today. He said he understood,
but looked upset. I asked him to plug the laptop in and set it up on the tray table. I wanted to start
watching the DVDs they had made for me. After he left, I looked through the DVDs and saw one
labeled "Bella's surprise". I popped it in and started to watch. As the camera moved through the
house and the video Edward revealed my surprise, I gasped. I felt like I was watching someone
else's life. This certainly wasn't the one I'd left.


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Chapter: 5


I looked through the DVDs and saw one labeled "Bella's surprise". I popped it in and started to
watch. As the camera moved through the house and the video Edward revealed my surprise, I
gasped. I felt like I was watching someone else's life. This certainly wasn't the one I'd left.

Chapter Five – Bella's Surprise

Bella POV

The video started out with a trail of roses through the living room and up the stairs. There must
have been dozens of them, pink and blue roses. As the camera followed Edward up the stairs I
heard him mutter, "Alice, I want to get back to the hospital. Do we have to do this now?" Alice
replied in a clipped tone. "Bella will want to know what her surprise was when she wakes up.
You're going to have to clean this up when Elizabeth comes home, and it won't look the same
later." He sighed. "You're right, let's just hurry, okay?" He turned toward the camera now, he
looked haggard and worn out, he said, "Bella, love? I know that things have been strained for a
while between us, but what I was going to tell you tonight is that I'm ready to be a father." At
that moment, he opened the door to the spare bedroom and turned on the light. "This is the
nursery that Alice and I put together for the baby. That's why she hasn't drug you shopping
lately. I asked her to help me because I wanted to show you that I'm excited about the baby. I
didn't think just saying it would be enough, after what I've put you through since you told me you
were pregnant. I am so sorry, Bella. I was stupid, I was scared, I was.." he trailed off. "He was an
idiot." Alice supplied from the background. "Thank you, Alice." He said sourly as Alice panned
around the room so I could see the whole nursery.

"Okay, Edward. Go back to the hospital now. Bella and I are going to have a long talk about
what we picked for the nursery and why." He sighed and left. Alice sat the camera down on the
dresser and started to narrate on everything in the room. I stopped it there. I could watch that part
later. Edward had put together a nursery? He was excited about the baby? That didn't really
reconcile with the Edward I remembered at all. The Edward I remembered stayed at the hospital
until he thought I was asleep and he could safely come home. We had stopped making love when
I had really started to show. Well, really – it may have stopped before then. I thought back to the
surprise I had planned for him a few weeks after I had told him I was pregnant. He had started to
withdraw more and more, so I thought that maybe I could bring us closer. I was so wrong; it was
still painful to think about.

- FLASHBACK – SURPRISE -

Edward POV

Man, it's been a long day. I should have been home hours ago, but I just couldn't get out of the
training on the new equipment in radiology. I had finally surpassed the other residents and was
getting more interesting, more high profile cases than any of them. If I just kept working hard, I
could get one of the more prestigious positions at the hospital and finally be the man I want to be
for Bella. She deserves so much more than I can give her. My father has always told me that I
lack focus. Now, I was focused on making myself a better husband.

I walked into the house and immediately saw her note on the kitchen table. I grinned, and ran up
to the den where she said she'd be waiting for me. God, I missed her. She'd been so upset lately; I
hadn't wanted to broach the subject of intimacy with her. But that line about Spring Break spoke

volumes about what she had planned. When I walked into the den, I found her asleep on the
leather couch wrapped in a blanket. I sighed. I should have been home hours ago. Damn
residency. I watched her sleep, she was restless. I knelt down next to her, stroking her hair and
saw that her makeup was streaked like she'd been crying. I kissed her forehead and picked her up
in my arms. The blanket slipped a little, revealing that she is naked in the blanket. Suddenly, I
understood. She had waited, naked in our den to make love to me, she was trying to bridge some
of the distance that had come between us over the last few weeks. She had left herself completely
vulnerable, waiting for me, and I had never come. I had never felt so ashamed; I deserved her
less now than I ever had.

I carried her into our bedroom and lay her on our bed, covering her with the comforter. I didn't
want to wake her so she could dress for bed, I felt too guilty to face her. I changed into pajama
bottoms and snuggled next to her, pressing myself softly to her back and burying my face in her
hair. God, I love the way she smells. I wrapped my arm around her waist. She moaned softly,
"Mmmmm.. Edward.." and sighed. I began kissing her neck, softly, pulling her closer.

"Edward?" she awoke with a start, looking around wildly, confused.

"Yes, love?" I whispered into her ear, still kissing her neck.

"Oh." She said, and pulls away. She lay on her stomach, facing away from me.

"Love, what's wrong?" I asked. I can hear the anxiety in my voice.

"N…Nothing." She said softly, still not looking at me. "Good night, Edward."

I rolled her to face me, and pulled her into my arms. She pressed her face into my chest, but
doesn't put her arms around me. "Please, love – tell me what's upsetting you. Is it because I was
late tonight and I missed what you had planned for me?" I asked, stroking her hair. She nodded
slowly into my chest. "Would you tell me about it?" I pulled back to look into her face, and was
shocked by the pain and humiliation I saw there. I felt a jolt in my chest that took my breath
away. She was devastated and it was all my fault. I caused her to be in this pain. I felt a swell of
self-hatred, and I leaned down to hide my face against her neck. "Please, Bella. Please tell me." I
whispered, afraid that if I spoke any louder that my voice would break.

"I had dinner in the oven." She started, in a hollow voice. "I left you a note in the kitchen to join
me in the den, and went to get ready. A few minutes before six, when you said you'd be home, I..
I…" she faltered. She took a deep breath to steady herself, and continued in that same hollow
tone. "I lay down across your desk, n…naked." I could tell the effort that had cost her to do it.
"After ten minutes, I felt stupid so I wrapped myself in the throw from the couch and waited to
hear the door." She looked away from me then, and her voice got softer. "After an hour, I turned
off the oven, and went back to the couch." Her voice was anguished now, barely above a
whisper. "After two hours, I.. I.. realized you weren't coming. I thought after the texts I sent this
afternoon to tease you that you might hurry home. That you might.. want me." The hurt in her
voice was evident. "I was wrong."

I felt her tears hit my cheek, and pulled her against me fiercely. "Wait.. Texts?" I asked,
confused. I pulled one hand slowly from her hair and leaned back to grab my Blackberry from
the bedside table. I checked the display – there were no texts from Bella. I pulled up my calendar
and looked back through my day.

"Oh, Bella." I said, my voice barely audible. I stoked her hair and face. "I've been in radiology
most of the day training on a new piece of equipment. The sequence for the machine takes
forever, that's why I was so late. But down in the basement, with the radiation, we don't get good
reception – that must have been why I didn't get your texts."

She nodded, and pulled the covers off.

"Where are you going, love?" I asked softly, as she climbed out of bed, still wrapped in the
throw.

"I'm going to take a shower and put on pajamas." She said, not looking at me.

Once she was in the bathroom, I got up and went downstairs. I found her cell phone in the
charging station by the door. A tear rolled down my cheek as I read her texts to me from her Sent
Items.

2:35 pm

E –

Still going to be home around 6? I have a surprise waiting for you.

It's soft, and warm, and smells like Strawberries. ;)

Love – B

5:32 pm

E –

Was wondering if you wanted to watch videos after dinner – maybe the self recorded kind?

Miss you- B

9:30 pm

Edward –

Was just wondering when you'd be home so I'd know whether to keep dinner warm for you.

Let me know.

Bella

- END FLASHBACK -

I don't know what to do now. I love Edward. It feels like I've loved him my whole life, I just
didn't realize it until I met him. I know he wants to make things work for Elizabeth now, but
where does that leave us? Is this what I want? He's been just.. absent for so long now. I want for
us to be happy; I just don't see what path to take anymore to make that happen.

I sighed and looked through the DVDs again and saw one curiously labeled – Confessions.


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Chapter: 6


I sighed and looked through the DVDs again and saw one curiously labeled – Confessions.

Chapter Six – Confessions

Bella POV

The video started in what looked like a small emergency room. Esme and Alice were standing
next to a crib with some kind of plastic sheeting over it. I couldn't really see inside the crib. Then
I heard a man's voice "She's just fine, her color has improved and we were ready to remove the
tent. Would you like to hold your daughter?" Edward came into view then, and the look of awe
on his face as he looked at our daughter melted my heart. I watched as he picked her up carefully
from the crib and sat in the rocker, a look of unadulterated love on his face. I was astonished, he
really did want her from the moment he saw her. "She's beautiful, mom." He said, looking up at
Esme. "She is," Esme replied "You're going to make such a wonderful father." The camera
moved closer then, and Edward looked up curious. "For Bella," I heard Alice say. "Dad told us
she hasn't woken yet, and I knew she wouldn't want to miss anything." I could hear the
heartbreak in Alice's voice. Edward nodded, tears falling. "I don't know when she'll wake up Ali.
Her head injury is serious." He dropped his head and said, "It's not fair, it should be me lying
there. Not her. Not her, Ali." He stroked Elizabeth's face and hair, an unconscious gesture as he
spoke. It reminded me of our lazy afternoons in the meadow when we would just lie in the grass
and talk. He would stroke my face and hair the same way.

"How do you work that out?" Alice asked, sounding annoyed. I didn't understand that either. I
knew he tried to take everything on himself, but how could he have prevented me being hit by a
truck?

"I should have been driving. If I hadn't been paged, I'd have been driving." He said, his voice
anguished. "In fact, we would have left sooner, and missed it all together. It's my fault. She's
lying upstairs and it's all my fault. We were supposed to be home by now, seeing the nursery we
were going to surprise her with – picking out names. We should have been making love in front
of the fire." I paused it there, breathing heavily. My poor Edward, he was heartbroken. I can't
believe he thinks this is his fault. He put together the nursery, he wanted to pick out names with
me, he wanted to make love to let me know how much he loved me. I could tell by the softness
in his voice when he said it. We definitely had a lot to talk about tomorrow. I restarted the DVD,
it looked like it had been edited because now Edward was standing and Esme was sitting in the
rocker with Elizabeth.

I saw Alice step back from Edward's embrace and pick up my purse. "I got this from the ER
nurse", she said opening it. "I want to show you something," she said and pulled out my baby
name book. She opened it to my marked page and said "I knew she had decided on a name for a
girl. She said that she wanted Elizabeth after her grandmother, and Mary after Mary Alice
Cullen." She beamed with excitement. Edward looked down at our daughter and left the room
without a word. He came back a few minutes later and pulled Alice in to kiss her on the top of
the head. "Thank you, Ali. I couldn't have asked for a better sister." She hugged him and said "I
couldn't stand for us to keep calling her 'Baby Cullen' until Bella wakes up. I knew she wanted
Elizabeth, so there was no point in waiting." I grinned, I'd have to buy Alice a nice present when
I got out of here. She was the best sister ever. Edward sighed and said softly, "I wish I'd have
known. I feel like I missed so much." After that I watched as Edward learned how to feed and
change Elizabeth. It was sweet, and kind of funny to watch. The good doctor appeared to be
terrified of this little girl. But, he managed it – he looked so determined. The video was edited
again and I saw myself lying in a hospital bed. Wow, I looked terrible. There was a huge
bandage on my head, and my face was bruised. I was hooked up to dozens of machines – glad I
was out for that. I hate needles. Edward came in then, carrying Elizabeth. He laid her down on
my chest and rubbed her back, letting Elizabeth snuggle into me. He just stood there for a long
time, looking into my face as Elizabeth dozed off on my chest. The video went dark again. It was
late, so I decided to sleep then. It felt like I had slept so much, but I was still dead tired.

The nurse woke me the next morning when she came to take my temperature. She asked a few
questions about how I was feeling, and brought me a toothbrush and toothpaste. After I'd brushed
and rinsed with a basin, I felt a lot better. She left and I turned the laptop on, restarting the video.
When it came back, I saw Edward in a chair next to my bed. He was wearing different clothes,
and looked like he'd cleaned up. There was a crib off to the side in the background. They had
brought Elizabeth up to sleep in my room. Edward stroked my hair, he looked so.. lost. There
was no other word for it. His whole posture just looked defeated as he sat next to me. "Bella,
love? Can you hear me?" he said, with no real hope in his voice. "Ah, Bella." He sighed, and
continued. "What I wouldn't give for you to sit up and smack me in the back of the head, just like
Alice. I miss you so much, it's like there's this hole in my chest that just won't heal until you're
back with me." He picked up my hand and held it to his face. "I want you to run your fingers
through my hair." I paused it then. That explains why my hand was on his head when I woke up.
He had been sitting with his head on my leg, with my hand on his head wanting to feel me run
my fingers through it. When I had, I can't imagine what he must have thought, or felt. I restarted
the video again, and he continued. "I want you to tell me that I'm doing a good job with

Elizabeth. I want to make you breakfast in bed. I want you to open your eyes, baby, please.
Please.." I heard him catch a sob, trying to control himself. It was heartbreaking to watch, all I
wanted to do right now was hold him and tell him everything was okay. He continued then,
smiling slightly. "Elizabeth smiled at me today. I can't wait for you to see her, I know Alice
caught it on video, she catches everything." He rolled his eyes, and I giggled. "She's getting
bigger every day. It looks like being a preemie isn't going to affect her development, thank God.
She eats like there's no tomorrow. I love feeding her, it's a great excuse to just hold her." He
smiled down at me then, and I could see his love for her. "I love her so much, Bella. It's
staggering sometimes. I never knew that I could feel this way about anyone else but you – like I
could move mountains just to see her smile."

He put his head down on the hand holding mine and said "I don't know why I was so scared of
this, Bella. I wish I could go back and do it all again. I would have been there for every
appointment, every kick, every craving." I felt the tears start to flow, as he continued. "I screwed
up so badly, I know. You'll probably hate me when you wake up, and I wouldn't blame you." Oh
my God, is that what he thought yesterday? I remembered the hurt in his face when I told him I
needed some time alone. I heard the conviction in his voice now, "I swear I will spend the rest of
my life making sure you know how much I love you, and Elizabeth. I will be by your side every
second for the next one." The next one, I had barely met this one. "If Elizabeth is any indication,
I want for us to have as many kids as we can handle." He stroked my cheek again. "You are my
air, Bella. I can't really breathe without you here. You are my everything, my other half. If it
takes begging, then I will. Please Bella, please open your eyes. A lifetime of servitude up for
grabs if you just open your eyes." I giggled through my tears at that remembering how he wanted
to trade a lifetime of servitude for some kind of Valentine's Day candy. "Elizabeth wants to meet
her mommy." He said, the tears starting to fall. "I can't stand being without you, love." And the
video went black again. I closed the laptop and set it on the bed. The tears had started to fall in
earnest when I heard his voice from the doorway. "Well, I'm going to have a talk with Alice. I
had no idea the camera was on for that little speech."

I set the laptop on the tray table, and moved over in the bed. I patted the bed next to me, and he
looked into my face – hope kindling there. He lay down next to me, and pulled me into his arms.
I looked up at him, my hand going instinctively to his hair. He closed his eyes, leaning into my
hand. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him with everything that I had. He moaned into
my mouth and wound his fingers into my hair. As he kissed me, I felt something snap into place
inside my heart. He was my everything too, my other half. The six months that we lost didn't
matter. He was here, and he loved me, and we had a beautiful daughter together. Our little family
would be okay.

I pulled back breathless and dizzy when I heard a voice from the door. "You might want to hold
off on that, at least until she can walk, Edward." Emmett said, laughing. I blushed and giggled.
Edward sighed and whispered, "Why couldn't I have been an only child?" I laughed as Emmett
left the room and said, "Well, then I wouldn't have been your sister's college roommate. How
would that have worked?" He smiled, kissing my forehead – "I think in the cosmic scheme of
things, soul mates find each other eventually. But you're right, I wouldn't risk not having you for
anything. And I meant it when I said that I can't stand being without you, love. Now that you
really know what was in my head then, I promise you that no matter what I'm feeling, I will talk

to you about it. I don't ever want to lose you again, ever." I nodded and kissed him again. "I
missed you, Edward." He wrapped his arms tighter around me, and buried his face in my hair.
"Oh God, Bella – I missed you too, so much. It was the greatest gift ever to feel your hands in
my hair that afternoon, to see you open your eyes, to hear you say my name. I love you,
sweetheart, so much." I stroked his hair, and kissed the top of his head. "I love you too, Edward."

He pulled back, and kissed me softly. Then, he pulled a chain from around his neck and I
recognized my wedding band and engagement ring on it. I looked at him questioningly. "While
you were critical, and then … sleeping, you couldn't wear them in case your hands started to
swell." He slid my rings into place on my left hand. "I couldn't leave them in a drawer; I wanted
to have them with me. I wanted to have a small part of you with me. It… It gave me the strength
to get out of bed in the morning."

As we lay there in each other's arms for the first time in nearly a year and a half, I thought about
the long road ahead of us. I would have to work hard to be able to walk again, and I would have
to get to know my daughter. It would be hard getting my life back, but now that I had the biggest
piece, I knew that we could do anything – as long as we were together.


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Chapter: 7


It would be hard getting my life back, but now that I had the biggest piece, I knew that we could
do anything – as long as we were together.

Chapter Seven – Starting Over

Bella POV

The next few days were not easy. The physical therapist was working with me daily to try and
get me out of bed. My muscles hadn't been used in so long; I was having a hard time trying to get
them to work. Edward brought Elizabeth every day, and she would either sit at the small table
and play or sit in Edward's lap while we talked. She never approached me again, like she did the
day I woke up. She would try to get Edward's attention when he'd show me any kind of affection.
It was like she was jealous that I was diverting his attention from her. When visiting hours were
over, Edward would take Libby home and put her to bed. We both thought it was best not to
interrupt her routine. This was going to be a big adjustment for her too. After Edward left for the
night, I would watch the DVDs that Alice made for me. She had catalogued nearly everything
that happened in Edward and Libby's life while I lay comatose in the hospital. I looked through
the DVDs, trying to decide what I wanted to watch next. There were innocuous things like "First
Steps", "Baby Food Disasters", and "Bath Time Fun", and then there were events like "Jane's
Birthday", "Halloween", and the one that really caught my attention - "Father's Day". I thought

back to the Father's Day that I had been pregnant and sighed.

- FLASHBACK – FATHER'S DAY -

Bella POV

It had been a month since I told Edward he was going to be a father. After the disastrous 'surprise
in the den' that never happened last week, I hadn't broached that subject again. He had been
sleeping later and later on the weekends, trying to catch up from the late nights at the hospital.
Finally, at noon he came down in his pajama pants and sat at the kitchen table with the paper. I
sighed and asked him if he wanted me to make him something for breakfast. "I'm good." He said,
softly and got up to grab a box of cereal from the cabinet. I nodded and went back to editing the
book that Angela had sent me. It was good, kind of "Lifetime Movie Network" material – but it
distracted me from my own life at the moment. After sitting like that for nearly half an hour, I
looked up at Edward. He had been watching me, and looked back to his paper quickly. "You
know, it's Father's Day?" I asked. He nodded. "I have to be at the hospital at 4:00 today, and
since it's already nearly 1:00 I thought you could visit your father, and I could stop by my
parents' house on the way to the hospital." I nodded and walked away quickly, not letting him see
the tears as they fell. Not only was he not going to acknowledge that he was going to be a father,
but he was trying again to get away from me as fast as possible. I went down to the guest
bathroom and showered, leaving him the master bathroom. I dressed quickly and went into the
den while Edward was still in the shower to pick up my father's gift. I saw the card I had gotten
for Edward lying underneath it -his first Father's Day card. I tossed it into the trash without
another thought. I wasn't about to set myself up for that kind of rejection again. I walked out of
the house without a word to Edward and got into the Volvo. I was glad to get out of the house, I
missed my dad. Maybe he would have an idea about what I should do about Edward.

Edward POV

I had suggested that we visit our families separately because I knew that she spent a lot of time at
my parents' house, and that she missed her dad. I wanted her to be able to spend all the time she
wanted with him without being interrupted by my stupid schedule. When she darted from the
room, I knew I had screwed up – again. Why couldn't I just talk to her? I wanted nothing more
than to take her into my arms and hold her and tell her that I loved her. After that thing with the
den, she had closed herself off to me all together. I deserved every bit of it. I heard her go down
to the guest bathroom. She must not want to run into me before she leaves. I sighed and went up
to take a shower.

As I slipped into my jeans, I heard the front door close. She had left without even saying
goodbye. I felt my stomach drop. She was going to leave me, deep down I knew she was – and
she had every right to. I went into the den to get the card for Carlisle, and saw an envelope in the
garbage with my name on it. Curious, I picked up and opened it. I couldn't stop the tears as I saw
that she had gotten me a Father's Day card -my first Father's Day card. With all the tension, she
must have thought that I didn't want it. I didn't know how to feel about it. I was elated that she
had thought to get me a card. I was devastated that she had thrown it away. But mostly, I was
scared of the implications of the card. Our lives were in such turmoil, what would happen when

we added a baby to the equation? I opened the card and saw that she had signed it "All our love,
Bella and Baby". I took it into our bedroom and put it in my lockbox with the rest of my
important papers. No matter what happened now, I would always keep it. Always.

- END FLASHBACK -

The video started and I saw that everyone was at our house. The house looked the same, but
different. There were baby gates on the bottom of the stairs and the kitchen door, latches on the
drawers, and covers for the electrical outlets. It was obvious that Edward had taken great pains to
make sure that the house was baby-proof for Elizabeth. The camera panned over and I saw
Edward sitting cross legged in the floor with Elizabeth on his lap. He looked down at her,
grinning and asked "Are you going to help daddy open his present, angel?" She held her little
hands out as Alice brought over a card. "Libby helped me sign it." Alice said, grinning. I
watched him open the card and then hug Libby, "Thanks, Libby." Alice beamed and said "Look,
your first ever Father's Day card!" I was surprised to see Edward look up sadly. "It's not,
actually." He said, quietly. Alice looked at him curiously. "Take Libby." He said, and went
upstairs. He came back a few minutes later with his lock box. He opened it and removed an
envelope. When he pulled the card out, I gasped. He looked at Alice – "Actually, this was my
first ever Father's Day card. Bella got it for me last year – she signed it 'Bella and Baby'". He
looked down, stroking my signature on the card. Alice put her arms around him. "She'll come
back, Edward. I promise. I couldn't stand to make all of these videos if I didn't believe that." He
nodded and put the card back in the box.

He took Libby and sat back down. He held Libby tightly for a moment, and then said – "Okay, I
see at least one wrapped box over there for me. Let's open my presents, angel." Alice handed a
flat wrapped present to Edward and said "This one is actually from Libby, but Emmett and I
made it." Edward grinned and let Libby help him tear the wrapping. It took her a while to rip the
paper, but he was patient. He pulled out what looked like a picture frame, and after looking at it
for an immeasurable period allowed the tears glistening in his eyes to fall. "Alice…" he said,
softly. "I know." She said, smiling at him – "turn it around so Bella can see". He turned it and I
saw a wooden picture frame with the words "My Life" carved in the top in elegant script. It was
a double snapshot frame. The left picture was of Edward and me. It was one of my favorite
pictures of us. I was on his back with my arms around his neck, my hand pressed to his face. He
was leaning into my palm with his eyes closed. I had a sheepish expression, and we were both
smiling. The picture on the right was of Libby. She appeared to be a few days old, and she was
laying face down on someone, her face towards the camera. She was sleeping. And then it hit
me, she was lying on my chest. I recognized the hospital gown I was wearing from the video I'd
just seen a few days earlier. It must have been a still from the video. He looked up at Alice "How
did you know that was my favorite picture of Bella?" he asked, a look of wonder on his face. "I
didn't." she said, smiling. "It's actually one of Bella's favorite pictures of you. I copied the one
she keeps on he desk."

The rest of the video was of the family interacting. The gifts were sentimental, but nothing like
the picture frame from Alice and Emmett. After it ended, I laid back against the pillows –
thinking. Not only had he found the card, he'd kept it. I couldn't explain what that meant to me.
He had baby-proofed the house, and he looked so comfortable with our daughter sitting in his

lap. She had been 6 months old during the video. I wished I could have been there for those 6
months, for the past 11 months. But, I was determined not to miss any more of her life. I would
fight with everything I had to be out of his bed and at her first birthday party. I wasn't going to
miss that.

I know it's a short chapter, but it just ended so naturally there. I had some requests to do more
flashbacks so that people could see what their life was like while she was pregnant. I thought
comparing the videos from this year to her life from last year would be a pretty good way to do
that. It brings the changes in Edward into sharper relief.

I have a nice bombshell coming up, but I need to build a little more before that happens.

As always – let me know what you think! It helps to know where you want the story to go when
I get blocked.


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Chapter: 8


But, I was determined not to miss any more of her life. I would fight with everything I had to be
out of his bed and at her first birthday party. I wasn't going to miss that.

Chapter Eight – The Meadow

Bella POV

I had made some progress today. Kate, my physical therapist, got me up into a chair. I was
completely drained by the end of the day, and Edward had to help me back into bed. It was nice
to have his strong arms around me like that. Once he had me positioned on the pillows, I giggled
and pulled him onto the bed with me. He fell, laughing and ended up on top of me on the bed.
When I realized the position we were in, I pulled in a shaky breath and Edward leaned down to
kiss me. I could feel his body pressed against me, and then his mouth was on mine. His kiss
started softly, and then grew more urgent. It had been so long since we were together like this. I
broke away, gasping and his lips moved to my neck as my fingers entwined in the back of his
hair. "I'm glad Alice brought your shampoo." He moaned softly in my ear. "You smell so good."
I brought his lips back to mine, and ran my hands along the bottom his T-shirt in back. I lifted it
a little and ran my hands along his lower back. I felt him shudder, and he pulled away. "I am so
sorry Bella," he said softly in my ear. "I don't know what came over me. I've missed you so
much, and.. and.." He started to get off the bed. I pulled him back down, and looked into his face.

"Edward." I said, matching his soft tone. "I'm your wife, it's okay to kiss me. I know that it's
going to be a while before we can.. be.. be intimate, but you can certainly kiss me." I kissed his

cheek softly. "I missed you too, so much. After all this time, I was beginning to think that you
didn't.. well.. that you didn't think about me that way anymore." I told him, honestly.

He pulled back quickly; looking surprised and took my face in his hands. "Bella, love. I have
been drawn to you... wanted you... that way ever since I saw you. Nothing has ever, or would
ever change that. I know that before the accident we hadn't been together for a long time, but I
thought it was because.." he trailed off, and took a deep breath.. "I thought.. " he tried again. I
had never seen Edward struggle for words like this. "I thought that you were going to leave me. I
thought that after the way I balked when you told me you were pregnant – you just closed
yourself off to me. I screwed up so badly. I never deserved you, never." His voice broke on the
last word, and he dropped his head to my shoulder.

"Edward!" I said, stunned. "How could you think that I would leave you? After the thousands of
times that I told you I loved you? How could you have so little faith in me, in us?" I was floored,
and then I was angry. "I practically threw myself at you, over and over. You rejected me, not the
other way around."

He nodded into my shoulder. "I hated myself so much. I guess.. I guess I thought you should hate
me too."

I pulled his face up to look at me. "I never hated you, Edward. I was angry, yes. I was hurt, yes.
But I always loved you. Always. I knew that eventually we would work this out. I could not give
up on you, on us. You are everything to me. It's just that everything had always been so
comfortable between us. It was easy in the beginning. We were never self-conscious or unsure –
and then, all of a sudden - with one word, everything changed. I said the word 'baby' and it was
like we became completely different people. I couldn't understand it…"

He started kissing me again. "I will do anything to make this up to you, Bella. Anything. I love
you so much, and I feel so honored that you return that love. I won't doubt it again." His kissing
became more intense. Then he moved his lips to my ear, and kept murmuring loving whispers,
kissing my neck.

I moaned softly in his ear at the feeling of his lips on my neck and said quietly, "No more hiding
how we feel. We are going to be open and honest. This can't happen again, Edward. I want to
know everything that you're feeling." And then I giggled. "Okay, I can feel one thing that you're
feeling now. It's pressing against my stomach."

He pulled back at once. "Sorry." He said, sheepishly, blushing.

"Don't be." I said, grinning at him. "I like that I can have that kind of effect on you. Would you
like for me to help you with that?" I asked, innocently, as I stroked him through his jeans.

"Bella.." he moaned softly. He kissed up my neck again and whispered in my ear "Do you know
what I missed most?" I shook my head softly. "I missed making love in the meadow. I loved to
see your body flush in the bright sunlight when you… lost yourself." I moaned softly against his
neck, and stroked him harder.

He pulled back, and nearly begged, "Stop, please.. That feels so good; I'm going to mess up my
jeans."

I giggled at him. "You never used to be this excitable."

"When it came to you, I was. But I haven't had any kind of sexual contact.. Okay, sexual contact
with another person, in nearly a year and a half. Of course, I'm easily excitable." He said,
laughing. I giggled again, and whispered in his ear "Soon, baby." He moaned, and then I yawned.

"Okay, love. You've had a long day, and I need to go home and take a cold shower." I grinned
and kissed him again softly before he got off the bed. He leaned down and kissed my forehead,
keeping his lips against my skin for a long time. "I love you, Bella." He said, softly.

"I love you too, Edward." I said, smiling.

"I'll see you tomorrow, love." He said, and left for home.

I laid back against my pillows, suddenly tired enough to sleep. I thought about what he had said
– that he missed making love in the meadow. My mind returned to the day he proposed, and I
fell asleep dreaming about him.

- FLASHBACK – PROPOSAL -

Edward POV

There is no way she is going to say yes. We just graduated from college, and I'm about to start
medical school. She would have to move across the country with me while I went to school.
She'd have to leave her family and her friends, just to be with me. I'm not worth that. But, I can't
stand the thought of being away from her for the next three years. We've only known each other
a little over six months. This is so crazy. But it feels… It feels like this is how it's supposed to
happen. She's supposed to be in my life like this. She's supposed to be my wife. She has to feel
that, doesn't she?

I had this internal struggle all the way to the meadow with her in the seat next to me. I wanted to
show her this place that means so much to me. This is the place where I come to think, to plan, to
just be myself. We pulled up at the trail, and I grabbed the backpack cooler from the trunk. I took
her hand, and led her through the trees. It was about a half an hour hike to the meadow – but it
was worth it. I'd never seen another soul out here. She gasped as we walked into the clearing. I
knew how she felt. It was so beautiful here. It almost, but not quite, compared to her beauty.

I spread the blanket out under the nearby oak, and started to unpack the cooler. We sat together,
talking and eating. We were so comfortable with each other. I couldn't believe that even after not
seeing each other from Spring Break until she got here just after graduation that there was no
awkwardness, no hesitation. We felt so right together. I leaned against the tree, and she lay with
her back against my chest. I could smell her hair, like strawberries, and I leaned down to kiss her

neck. Now was the time, I knew it, I felt it.

I took the ring out of my pocket and said, with her still leaning against my chest, "Bella, I feel
like I became a completely different person when you came into my life. You make me feel like
I'm the kind of person I always wanted to be. You make me feel alive. I'm not just some science
geek, doctor wannabe with you. You make me feel like a man, and that I can be so much more. I
love you so much, Bella. I can't even articulate the feeling to you. When I look at you, I feel so
lucky that you would even consider being with me. Making love to you is like being in heaven; I
couldn't imagine anything better than that. I can't stand being away from you. I would move
mountains just to see you smile. Please Bella, will you marry me?"

She froze, and her breathing stopped. Oh no... Oh God... She's going to run. She's going to run
screaming. She turned slowly to face me, tears in her eyes. Oh God, please, don't let her leave.
I'll do anything if you just let me keep her in my life. "You want to… you want to marry me?" she
asked, shocked. Terrified, I nodded. She launched herself onto my lap, and said "Of course I'll
marry you, Edward!" I kissed her deeply, pulling up her left hand. She looked down as I placed
the ring on her finger. She whispered "It's beautiful, Edward... So beautiful..." I placed my hand
on the side of her face, and said "It was my grandmother's. My mom gave it to me right after you
left for school after New Year's. She said she had a feeling I'd need it."

"I love you, Edward." She said, looking into my face. "You are everything I could have hoped
for, everything I didn't even know to ask for."

"I love you, Isabella." I told her, "so much". She leaned forward and put her face next to mine,
her lips next to my ear. She whispered softly, seductively, "Will you show me?" I nodded
quickly, and ran my lips from her ear, over her jaw, to her lips as I pushed her back onto the
blanket. We hadn't made love since Spring Break, we hadn't been alone long enough to try. Now,
I was going to take all the time I needed to show her just how much I loved her. I wanted to
show her what she meant to me, how wildly happy I was that she was going to be my wife.

I deepened the kiss, opening myself to her and she responded. My hands caressed her face, and
her fingers played with the back of my hair. I loved feeling her fingers in my hair. I finally broke
the kiss to move to her neck, and murmured into it, "You are so beautiful." I took her free hand
in mine, entwining our fingers as I kissed lower to the top of her V-neck shirt. I let go of her
hand just long enough to pull her shirt up, kissing her stomach. She moaned softly, and my
stomach tightened. I loved to listen to her as I touched her, knowing that no one else had ever
made her feel like this. I pulled away slightly and pulled her shirt over her head. She reached
down and grabbed the hem of my T-shirt and pulled it off as well. I pressed back against her,
loving the way my skin felt against hers. I got a glimpse of her bra as I was taking off her shirt,
midnight blue – lacy. I loved that color on her. My mouth made it's way up to it then, and I was
delighted to see that the closure was in the front. I popped it open, and laid her breasts bare to
me. I drew in a deep breath, she was so beautiful.

I used one hand to massage her beautiful breasts while the other remained in her hair. I used my
mouth to tease her nipples, the afternoon breeze making them painfully hard. She moaned and
arched her back, pushing herself toward me. I pulled my other hand away from her hair, and

pressed her breasts together. I took both her nipples into my mouth at once, squeezing her breasts
in my hands. She moaned, loudly this time – my name falling from her perfect lips. My hands
still massaging, I moved my lips down over her stomach to the top of her jeans. That elicited an
open mouthed moan, and her head fell to the side, her fingers winding in my hair. I pulled my
hands down to unbutton her jeans. She lifted her hips, and I pulled them off, along with her
matching blue lace panties. I wanted nothing to obstruct the pleasure I wanted to give her. As I
pressed my lips to her inner thigh, I unbuttoned my own jeans and pulled them off with my
boxers. We were now both naked, entwined in the clearing. I couldn't think of a better way to
express our love for each other.

I softly moved her legs over my shoulders and pulled myself closer to her. As I teased her with
my mouth, I felt her fingers tighten in my hair, pushing me against her. I heard her cry out softly
as her hips came up to meet me. I grew more excited, loving that I could elicit this kind of
response in her. I pressed my mouth harder against her, with more urgency as she started to
tremble. Suddenly, she pulled back out of my grip, gasping. She moved her fingers from my hair
to my shoulders and pulled me up, and I moved to lie on top of her. Her lips attacked mine with a
fierce intensity as I wrapped my arms under her shoulders, pressing myself to her. She wrapped
her legs around me, pulling me against her. "No one has ever made me feel like this…" I
whispered into her ear as I slid into her. She arched her back and pressed herself harder against
me, moaning my name as we connected. Her lips met mine as I started a slow, sure rhythm. It
didn't need to be rushed, or frenzied. I wanted this moment to last – I felt so close to her. I moved
to kiss her ear, whispering my love for her – and then her neck. I could hear her breathing now,
heavy – wild. Her body was trembling beneath me, and I felt her skin growing warmer. She
whimpered, and moaned unrestrained before crying out. I felt her tighten around me, her hands
tightening in my hair. I pulled back and looked into her face, as I picked up my pace. She had
never looked so beautiful – her face flushed, eyes closed. I felt my own orgasm building, as she
shuddered beneath me. I pressed my hands onto her shoulders and pulled myself harder against
her. She wrapped her legs tighter around me, and I felt her bare feet pressed against my skin. I
pressed my face into her neck, thrusting myself into her as hard as I dared. Now I was moaning
into her neck, with wild abandon as I felt my control slipping. I heard her say softly in my ear, "I
love you, Edward" and I exploded into her.

For a long moment, I couldn't move as I panted into her shoulder. I had never felt like this. I felt
like my heart would explode – not from physical exertion, but love for her. I turned my head to
the side, kissing her cheek tenderly and said "I love you too, Bella, so much." Then I rolled us
gently so that she was lying on my heaving chest. In that moment, I knew that I could never
again be apart from her.

- END FLASHBACK -

Edward stood in the doorway, watching his wife sleep. He came back most nights after he put
Libby to bed. Alice had come to stay with them after Bella had woken up; she wanted to get the
house ready for Bella to come home. She knew, probably more than anyone else what Bella
meant to him. He thought back to their conversation from earlier. She loved him; she wanted
them to be together. He had never known what was going to happen when she woke. He thought,
as he'd honestly told her, that she would leave. After everything he put her through – all those

months of doubt, she still loved him. He wanted to do something for her. Something big, but it
may have to wait until she was out of here. He'd spoken to her physical therapist, and knew she
was making progress. She would be able to come home in a few weeks. He sat down in the
rocker by her bed and started to plan…

I had to make this lemon less graphic than the other ones I usually write. This one was about
love, not gratification. No, the surprise isn't the bombshell – but a big surprise for Bella is so
Edward that it's almost cliché. (A few people asked if the bombshell was going to be that he
slept with someone else while she was out. To me, Edward would never do that – so I decided
to clear that up in this chapter). There are a few more chapters before the big reveal, I'm still
building.

Speaking of being a tease – the Dirty Talking Edward contest is wrapping up, and the poll is
up on LeechLover85's profile for the vote. So, check out my profile and read 'Fantasies' – if
you like it, I'd love if you voted for it. Thanks Guys! (And I'll have an update to 'Next
Weekend' up later tonight.)


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Chapter: 9


After everything he put her through – all those months of doubt, she still loved him. He wanted to
do something for her. Something big, but it may have to wait until she was out of here. He'd
spoken to her physical therapist, and knew she was making progress. She would be able to come
home in a few weeks. He sat down in the rocker by her bed and started to plan…

Chapter Nine – Anniversary

Bella POV

To say that I was surprised when Edward had four dozen roses delivered was an understatement.
Each dozen was darker than the last, going from light pink to dark red. I checked the card, and it
said simply –

My Beautiful Bella,

One for each year of our marriage – and like our love, the color of each rose is deeper than the
last.

Forever,

Edward

They were so beautiful; I was touched, but why now? Why not right after I woke up? It's been
over a week. I picked up my 1 lb weights, and worked my arms, thinking. He said I'd been in a
coma for 11 months. If the accident happened on January 1st, that would make this… December,
probably... I can't believe I haven't looked at a calendar. I reached over and hit the call button.

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen"? The tinny voice whined through the speaker.

"Uhmm… Hi. I know this is an odd question, but can you tell me what day it is?" I asked, almost
sheepishly.

"It's Friday, Mrs. Cullen." The voice answered politely.

"No, I'm sorry. I mean the date. What's the date?" I asked, quickly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's December 15th Mrs. Cullen." The voice answered again.

"Thank you." I said softly. It was my anniversary. How could I not know it was my anniversary?
I felt so guilty, I hadn't even thought about it. I had known that I lost all those months, but I
never put it together.

I grabbed the phone off the bedside table, and dialed Alice's cell. It rang twice and then I heard
Alice's cheerful voice say, "Good morning, sunshine!"

"Good morning, Alice." I said. "Is he there with you?"

"Nope, he's at work. Going tell me juicy secrets about my big brother?" she asked, laughing.

"No." I sighed. "I need your help with something." I explained my predicament to her, and she
thought for a few minutes. "I have the perfect idea." She said, and I could hear the smile in her
voice. "I'll be there in two hours with everything that you need."

Edward POV

I couldn't wait to get to the hospital to see Bella. Things had been going better lately, and today
was our fourth anniversary. We had been married for four years. I felt like the luckiest man alive
when she agreed to marry me. I still feel that way – because she loves me. I had sent flowers to
her at the hospital. Not that I hadn't done that before, but this time I sent four dozen. I know she's
still disoriented from the coma, and I don't expect her to be able to reciprocate, but I just wanted
her to know that I remembered, and that I appreciate her.

Alice called then, and said that Libby was sleeping. They'd been out for most of the day, and
she'd just gotten her down for a nap. She asked me not to wake her and just go straight to the
hospital, when Libby woke up she'd meet us there. That was okay with me - that meant I could
get to the hospital, to Bella, faster.

I was practically skipping when I walked into her suite, and then I froze. Bella was sitting in a
chair in a beautiful dress. Her hair was curled, she had a little makeup on making her less pale,
and she was illuminated by candle light. The table in front of her had a white linen table cloth,
and was set for two with plates and wine glasses. There was a basket next to her, with a bottle of
wine peeking out from under the cover.

"Happy Anniversary, Edward" she said, smiling. She gestured to the chair opposite her. "I have
dinner here for you, if you're hungry. "

"Bella…" I whispered coming over to her. "You look so beautiful. How did you do this?" I said,
completely in awe of her.

"Alice." She said, and that explained it all. "I called her this morning after you sent the roses, and
I realized what day it was." Her voice dropped then. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't realize before
the flowers came, I had no idea what day it was. I had to call down to the nurse's station to find
out the date."

I dropped to one knee next to her chair, and put my hands on either side of her face. "I think you
have a valid excuse, love. But I can't believe you did this for me, for us. This is so perfect. I am
so lucky to have you in my life." Then, I kissed her softly. "Happy Anniversary, love."

- FLASHBACK – 3rd ANNIVERSARY -

BELLA POV

"I feel so fat." I told Alice as she dropped me off at home.

She giggled. "You're pregnant, you're not fat. You look beautiful." She said, with obvious
sincerity.

"Yeah, well. If that were true, your brother would be taking me out to dinner tonight, not
pretending I don't exist. I'm probably much later than I should be tonight, but I just couldn't take
the rejection – not today." I sighed.

Her face flushed with anger. "My brother is an idiot. And it's not going to be too much longer
before I take him out and beat the hell out of him."

I giggled at that. Alice was tiny, but she was fierce. "That, my dear Alice, I'd love to see. I should
go in, I see his car. I wonder if he will even acknowledge that today is our anniversary." I sighed
again.

"If you need me, call me. I'll be here in 10 minutes. You are too pregnant to be stressed out and
upset because my brother is a child." She said, hugging me.

"I will. I promise." I said, and went into the house.

I put my bag down on the table next to the door and walked into the living room. There, on the
table was a huge vase of roses. There had to be three dozen, pure red roses. There was no card.
Why would he bring me roses and not leave a card? I thought that was odd. I went to look for
him, finally finding him in the den. I saw a card sitting on his desk, open with a pen lying on top
of it. He was laying face down on the leather couch, his face buried in a pillow. I stood watching
him, and was about to leave him alone when I heard his breath hitch. He was crying. No matter
what I may have felt in that moment about the last few months, it still broke my heart to see him
in pain. I walked over to the couch and sat next to him. He jerked up, wiping his face. "I… I…
didn't hear you come in." he said, his voice unsure. He sat back, with this back against the arm of
the couch facing me. I sat for a minute, torn. I decided that his pain was greater than mine at the
moment, and sat between his legs leaning back against his chest. He dropped his head to my
shoulder. I reached back and took his hands, wrapping his arms around me – carefully putting his
arms above my stomach instead of around it. Whatever was upsetting him tonight, I didn't want
to make it worse.

I leaned back, resting my head on his shoulder. "Do you want to talk about whatever is making
you so upset?" I asked softly. He sat motionless with his head still on my shoulder and took a
deep breath. It sounded like he was trying to steady himself.

"I thought…" he started, and then stopped. "I thought you weren't going to come home." He
finally said, softly.

"Edward, you're late all the time – sometimes we don't see each other for a couple of days." I
said, a little exasperated. "Why would you think that I was suddenly not going to come home?"

"I… I didn't see a card, or anything that said that you wanted to celebrate our anniversary. And
then you weren't here, and you stayed away for so long." He said, his voice clouded with
emotion.

"To be perfectly honest, Edward, I didn't think you cared enough to bother with it. I was
surprised when I saw the flowers downstairs. I didn't find a card, so I came up here to see you." I
said, not turning around.

"The card is on the desk. I was trying to figure out what to write in it, but everything I thought of
seemed so … insignificant. I couldn't think of anything to describe how much you mean to me.
Just saying that I loved you felt so inadequate after …" he trailed off.

"I would have liked to hear that you love me, Edward." I whispered, not knowing what to think
of his outburst.

"I love you, Bella. I love you, so much." He said, pulling me closer to him.

"I love you too, Edward. I just don't know if that's enough. I don't want to raise this baby by
myself." I said, earnestly – thinking about how absent he's been lately. What if my love wasn't
enough for him? "Look, I realize that you're feeling sentimental today. I can't do this with you,
and then go back to you ignoring me. It hurts too damn much." I said, getting up. I saw his face

fall, and his head drop. He wasn't going to stop me. So, I left, closing the door behind me and
went into our room. The sobs started before I reached the door, and ended when I finally fell
asleep.

Edward POV

Her words hit me like a battering ram in the chest.

I just don't know if it's enough…

I don't want to raise this baby by myself…

It hurts too damn much…

I opened the door to the den quietly, and went to our bedroom. I had to talk to her. I had to tell
her how much I loved her, and that I wanted it to be enough. I couldn't survive if she left me,
even though it was exactly what I deserved. I was about to open the bedroom door when I heard
it. She was sobbing. My heart broke at the sound. This couldn't go on, it wasn't good for her. It
wasn't good for... for the baby. The baby. Bella was showing considerably now, and she looked
so beautiful. She glowed. I thought about that and then I saw it in my mind - a little boy with his
first doctor set, his first football. Then I saw a little girl running up to meet me when I came
home from work, her brown hair in pigtails. I wanted children, I had always wanted children.
Why was I so freaked out because it happened sooner than I expected? I needed to talk to
someone, right now. I needed to sort this out. I needed Alice.

I went downstairs and picked up the cordless house phone and dialed my sister's cell.

Her voice came on the line after the first ring, "Bella? Honey? What did the idiot do now?" she
asked, sounding worried.

"It's the idiot, Alice." I said. My voice sounded dejected, even to me.

"Oh, uhmmm... Sorry, Edward." She said, chagrined.

"No, you're absolutely right, Alice." I said softly. "I am a total idiot. Can I come over? I really
need to talk to you. I need you to help me straighten this out. My head is so messed up. She's
going to leave me, Alice. I know she is. I can't…" I trailed off, hopelessly.

"Come over, big brother." She sighed. "I've been waiting six months for this call. I just wish
you'd have done it before you broke her heart." The tears started again, I couldn't stop them.

"I know." I said my voice breaking. I left Bella a note telling her where I was, and went to my
sister. Maybe she would have an idea of how to salvage my marriage before I made the worst
mistake of my life.

- END FLASHBACK -

Edward POV

I thought about the contrast between our last anniversary and this one. That was the night I
decided to surprise Bella with a nursery. She had said that she didn't know if our love would be
enough. I wanted to show her that my love was for both of them. Bella, and the baby. I wanted
her to know that yes, I was still scared. I'm sure she was too, but that I was ready to face this with
her. I couldn't just tell her, she would think I was trying to placate her. I had to show her.

She put her hand on my arm then. "Edward, what is it?" she asked quietly. I shook my head, not
wanting to ruin the moment she had created here. Then I remembered, no more hiding, so I said.
"I'm sorry, you were right – no more hiding my feelings." I sighed and continued "I was thinking
about our last anniversary."

"I remember." She said, softly. "I went and hid in our bedroom, crying like a child and you never
came to bed. I can't say that I blame…" I looked up sharply, and cut her off.

"Bella… You had every right to be upset, I was an insensitive jerk." I said, angry with myself.
Then as an afterthought I added, "I did come to bed, actually – after I got back from Alice's. I
didn't sleep though, I just watched you. You were so restless that night."

"You went to Alice's?" she interrupted, stunned. "Why?"

"That night, when you didn't come home, I thought you'd left me. I thought that might be our last
anniversary. It tore at me like nothing I'd ever felt. Then, I went to the bedroom to talk to you, to
tell you that I wanted our love to be enough. I wanted to tell you that you wouldn't be alone. I
wanted to hold you, make love to you. When I got to the door, I heard…" I took a deep breath. "I
heard you crying. It broke my heart, to hear you in pain like that – because of me. I went
downstairs and called Alice. I needed someone to talk to; I needed someone to help me
straighten myself out. I know now that I should have just talked to you, but I couldn't cause you
more pain. Alice and I talked for hours. That's the night we decided to do the nursery." I finished.

"I wish you would have come and talked to me." She said, and took a deep breath. "I felt so
alone during that time. I had lost my best friend." I nodded. I told her I knew exactly what she
meant.

"We should start clearing this up. Alice will be bringing Libby pretty soon." I said to lighten the
mood.

"Nope." She said brightly. "Alice is keeping her tonight so that we could spend our anniversary
together, alone. Is that okay?" she asked, hesitantly.

"Of course it is. This surprise was amazing, thank you." I said, clearing away the stuff from our
impromptu picnic. "What would you like to do now?" I asked as I finished packing things away.

"First, I want to change into pajamas. Then, maybe we could watch some of these DVDs

together, the ones that Alice made." She asked, hopeful. "There are so many that I haven't gotten
to yet. There is a whole stack that I haven't even looked through."

After I helped her change, my mind working overtime as I helped her undress, I lifted her and set
her in the bed. I took off my shoes as she patted the bed next to her. I grinned at her, and lay
down next to her, pulling the tray table over. She took out two stacks of DVDs, and I put my arm
around her. She snuggled next to me, looking at the titles. "This is nice." She said, leaning up to
kiss my cheek.

"It is very nice," I said, holding her tightly to me and kissing her back. "Wait; did that say
'Stalker'?" I asked incredulously. What in God's name had Alice captured that she would label
'Stalker'?

She flipped back a few DVDs, and said. "Yep. I wonder what she means by that. Were you
stalking me?" She giggled.

"Maybe," I said, smiling. "I was here an awful lot."

She put the DVD in, and started it. I felt the rage building when I saw him next to her bed. She
had always asserted that he had been her best friend in high school, and nothing more. I knew his
feelings on the matter were quite different. He loved her; I could see it plainly etched in his
features when he looked at her on his thankfully infrequent visits. She never saw it, or never let
on that she did.

He was standing, holding her unmoving hand. He stroked her hair back from her face and spoke
to her, his voice low and soothing. "Bella… Bella, honey, can you hear me?" He sighed, and
pulled up a chair. He took her hand back into his, holding it to his face. "I know you're trying to
protect yourself right now, sweetheart. I know that he hurt you. The emails that you sent were
heartbreaking, and I wanted so much to come and be here for you. I knew that my presence
would only make things worse for you though. But now… I can't lose you, Bella… I can't..." He
let his head fall, and spoke more quietly. "I love you Bella. I have always loved you. I was going
to tell you, the summer after you graduated college – but you never came home. You stayed with
him. You stayed with him, and he broke your heart." He growled suddenly, before his voice went
quiet again. "I would never… never hurt you, Bella. Please come back to me, honey. I will take
care of you, and the baby. Please open your eyes Bella… Please…" he said, leaning into her
unresponsive palm – kissing it softly.

Her hand went, seemingly unconsciously to the screen – touching his face.

The screen went dark…


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Chapter: 10


"I would never… never hurt you, Bella. Please come back to me, honey. I will take care of you,
and the baby. Please open your eyes Bella… Please…" he said, leaning into her unresponsive
palm – kissing it softly.

Her hand went, seemingly unconsciously to the screen – touching his face.

The screen went dark…

Chapter Ten – Broken Dreams

Bella POV

I sighed. "Poor Jacob." I said softly. I looked at Edward, he was pinching the bridge of his nose,
and looking away. He looked so upset. I leaned in closer to him, and put my head on his chest.
"Do you want to talk about this?" I asked him.

"No." he said flatly. "But I will, because we need to, I think. I promised you that I would do
everything that I could to prevent what happened between us from ever happening again. I meant
that. I know that means talking about… everything." He continued to look away. "Do you love
him, Bella?" he asked in a whisper.

"Yes." I said. "I do love him, but I'm not in love with him. There is a big difference." He looked
at me then, relaxing a little. "Jacob has been one of my best friends for a long time, and he was
there for me when I needed him. He will always be special to me." I continued. "Did I know that
he was in love with me? Deep down, I probably did. But, I can't do anything about the way he
feels. I can only do something about the way that I feel. I am in love with you. I feel like I've
always been in love with you, I just didn't know it until we met. You are where my future lies."
He held me closer. "I will call him and ask him to visit, though. He must not know I'm awake, or
he'd have been here already. I think he and I need to sit down and talk too. He needs to hear this
as much as you did." He nodded.

"Now," I said. "Which one should we watch next?" He shrugged.

I moved the tray table out of the way, and rolled so that I was lying almost on top of him. I
kissed him slowly, deliberately with long, lingering kisses. He wrapped his arms tightly around
me, and kissed me back, his hands tangling in my hair. When we finally broke apart, I put my
hand on his cheek and asked "Now, will you tell me what's bothering you?" He sighed.

"Jacob may be obnoxious," he said, and I raised an eyebrow at him. "But, he's right. I hurt you,
he never did. He was there for you when I wasn't, at the very time when I should have been most.
I just wonder if… if he isn't the better man for you."

I looked at him, shocked. "You are my life. You are my soul. I cannot live without either. I know

you don't mean that you want me to take Elizabeth and be with him. After this week, I know
what we mean to you. What happened between us is past. We," I took his face in my hands, "are
going to focus on us – the present us, the future us. That's all we're allowed to worry about right
now, our family."

He nodded and kissed me softly.

"I made mistakes too; I could have talked to you about all of this. I could have forced you to talk
to me. I didn't. I didn't have the self-assurance to believe that I was enough for you. But, I believe
in us, Edward. We are going to grow old together, watching our grandchildren from our big
porch swing."

He smiled. "I love the sound of that. Speaking of, I had a question – while we're being open and
sharing."

"What's that, honey?" I asked, curious.

"How do you feel about more kids?" He asked, serious now.

"Well, can I get to know the one I have first?" He laughed at that. "Yes." He said. "Then, I'd love
to have at least a couple more with you – since you're asking." I said, smirking. "Do you want a
couple more kids?" He nodded.

"Can I ask you a question now?" I said, smiling.

"Anything, love." He said, with an open expression.

"Will you stay with me tonight? I know the bed is small, but, I'd really like…" he cut me off with
a kiss.

"Let's see. Sleep in a bed with my beautiful wife, or go home to an empty bed?" he pretended to
think it over. I slapped him on the shoulder.

"Alice brought you sleep pants and a T-shirt to change into. They're in that bag on the floor
there." He went into the bathroom to change, citing the possibility of unexpected medical
visitors. I giggled at the thought of the night nurse coming in and finding him in his underwear. I
put the laptop away, and arranged the blankets on the bed.

He turned off the lights and crawled into bed next to me. "Want the pillow?" he asked. "Nope, I
have my own personal pillow right here." I said, and I laid my head down on his chest. He
wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on top of the head. "I love you, my Bella." He said,
stroking my hair.

"I love you, Edward." I said, smiling into his chest. I fell asleep to the sound of his steady
breathing. It felt so comfortable sleeping in his arms – like we'd never been apart. I felt like I was
home.

The sun streaming through the windows woke me the next morning. I liked being right here, with
my head on his chest, our arms around each other, and our legs entwined under the blankets. I
looked up and Edward was still sleeping. He looked so peaceful, so untroubled in his sleep. He
looked like the boy I fell in love with on New Year's Eve. I felt my heart surge as I seemed to fall
in love all over again.

A movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention, and I picked my head up to look. I
shook Edward quickly, and he groaned and squeezed me tighter. "I don't want to move yet, love.
I'm really comfortable." He said, laughing softly and kissed me on the forehead.

"Edward, wake up." I said quietly. "We have a visitor."

Edward POV

"Edward, wake up. We have a visitor."

She sounded a little frightened. I sat up quickly, and held her close as I looked around. Jacob was
sitting in a visitor's chair near the door, rage evident on his face. He looked right at me as he said
"She woke up over a week ago, was it too much of a burden for you to pick up the phone?" It felt
like the hatred he felt for me radiated off of him.

"To be honest, Jacob – I've been trying to get my life back in order. My wife and daughter were
my first priority there. I thought Charlie would have told you. Aren't he and your father close?" I
said, trying to mask my irritation.

"Jacob." Bella said softly. "I'm sorry, you're right. I should have called you. I've just been a little
disoriented. It's not easy to sort things out when you've lost a year of your life, a year of your
daughter's life."

His face softened then as he looked at her. "Bella, honey… I'm not upset with you. How could I
be? I can't imagine what you've been through. I'm just hurt that I didn't even get a phone call,
from anyone. I'd have been here so much sooner. I feel like I've let you down."

She sighed. "Edward, could you give us a few minutes?" she asked softly. I nodded and got out
of the bed. "Give me a minute to get dressed, and I'll go across to Starbucks and get coffee." I
said, resigned. I grabbed the bag that Alice had packed for me and headed into the bathroom.
They hadn't moved when I came back out. I tossed the bag next to the picnic basket and put my
hand on Bella's cheek. I kissed her softly on the forehead and said "I'll be back soon, love. Call
me if you need me, and I'll be right here." I didn't like leaving Bella alone with Jacob. It wasn't
that I didn't trust her, but I thought he might use her weakened condition to take advantage. I left
the room, making sure to leave the door propped open.

Bella POV

"I'll be back soon, love. Call me if you need me, and I'll be right here."

This was going to be hard. There was no getting around that. Jacob pulled a chair next to my bed,
and I put the bed up so that I could sit up higher and talk to him. I put my hands under the
blankets so that he wouldn't be tempted to take one. "Jake…" I started, but he cut me off.

"Bella, I have to tell you something." He said quietly.

"Jacob, I already know." I said, softly. "We need to talk about that."

"What do you know?" he asked, surprised.

"Alice spent a lot of time videotaping Elizabeth and the rest of my family," I didn't want to say
Edward's name and upset him so soon. "when they were here. She didn't want me to miss any
part of Elizabeth's life while I was … sleeping." I explained. "She wrote everything she captured
onto DVDs and I've been watching them. I've been trying to catch up on my life - the one that
seems to have been living without me." I smiled. "One of the things that she captured was your
visit."

"That's not how I wanted to tell you." He said, sighing. "I kind of wanted you to be conscious."

I smiled at him. "But regardless of how you told me, you did, and we need to talk about that. I
can't stand the thought of losing you either Jacob, but the love that I have for you isn't the same
kind that you have for me. I will always be grateful to you for being there for me during my
pregnancy. I needed someone to talk to, a friend – and you were always there. You made me feel
special during a time when I didn't think that was possible. You are one of my best friends, and I
love you – but we can't be together like that. I love Edward, Jacob. Yes, he hurt me. I
acknowledge that, he acknowledges that. But, we're working it out. He was scared when I told
him I was pregnant, he handled it badly – yes. But he more than made up for it, taking care of
Elizabeth alone these past eleven months. He's a wonderful father, and a devoted husband." I
finished.

He just stared at me, his mouth slightly open. "So that's it then, you're just going to forgive him
for breaking your heart, and go on like nothing happened?"

"No, Jacob." I said, keeping my voice calm and even. "This has put a strain on things, but we are
working through it. He is committed to making things work, as am I."

"I would be better for you, Bella. It would be easy for us, we wouldn't even have to 'make things
work'." He said, stroking my hair.

"It wouldn't work Jacob because I don't feel that way about you. I couldn't be with someone in a
relationship like that if I didn't have those feelings for them. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to
me." He nodded at that, and sighed.

"So, where does that leave us?" He asked, finally.

"Still friends?" I asked, tentatively.

"I don't know if I can just be your friend anymore, Bella. I can't stand by and watch him ruin
your life." He said, looking away.

"Jake?" I said, fighting the tears.

"I will always love you, Bella. I'll always be waiting. One day he will destroy your heart, and
you will finally see that he doesn't deserve you. I will be waiting to pick up the pieces." He
looked back at me now.

Just then, Edward came back into the room. He had coffee in one hand and Elizabeth held in the
other arm. He set the coffee on the bedside table, and Elizabeth on the bed. "Mama!" she cried,
and climbed into my lap. "Dada!" she said laughing and Edward sat on the bed. I looked up at
Jacob, and Edward put his arm around me. The pain in his face tore at me as he looked at our
happy family. Without another word, he strode from the room.

"Alice dropped her off; she called me while I was at Starbucks." Edward said in answer to my
unasked question. "Are you okay?" He then asked me softly.

"I have the two things I need most in the world right here on this bed." I said sighing – not
wanting to cry in front of Elizabeth. He lay down on the bed with me, as Elizabeth crawled up on
his chest. She handed me a book which I held open for them. Holding us both in his arms –
Edward started to read.

Yes, as I'm sure you can guess – I can't stand Jacob. I'm happy to torment and torture him at
every opportunity. (Sorry 'Team Jacob')

The date of the story now is December 16th – you know what that means… Christmas is
coming! Christmas with the Cullens is always fan-fiction-tastic. ;)


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Chapter: 11


"I have the two things I need most in the world right here on this bed." I said sighing – not
wanting to cry in front of Elizabeth. He lay down on the bed with me, as Elizabeth crawled up on
his chest. She handed me a book which I held open for them. Holding us both in his arms –
Edward started to read.

Chapter Eleven – Betrayal

Bella POV

I spent that week working very hard in rehab, and now it was Christmas Eve. My doctor had
secretly signed the papers to have me released. He and Kate had given me the okay to go home,
and the all clear for most physical activities. Alice was at the hospital with me, getting me ready
to come home. It is going to be a great surprise for Edward. He didn't think I'd be able to come
home until next week. He was sad because I'd have to spend Christmas in the hospital. I smiled
in anticipation of the look on his face. Alice was supposed to be doing a little last minute
Christmas shopping, leaving Edward with the guests in our home. Edward's whole family was at
our house to celebrate with him and Elizabeth.

We finally got all of the stuff into Alice's car, and we started along the drive home. Home. That
sounded really nice after the weeks, well months really, in the hospital. It was beautiful outside,
and it was a fantastic change. In no time at all, it seemed, we pulled up in front of the garage, and
Alice walked with me to the front door. I was able to walk unassisted, but I had never had the
best balance – even before the accident. She walked in first, and spying Edward said, "Hey
Edward, I picked up a surprise for you while I was out." I heard him laugh and ask "What's that,
Alice?" Then, I walked through the front door. "Bella!" he cried, and caught me up in a hug. He
spun me and the set me lightly on my feet, kissing me thoroughly. "Merry Christmas, Edward." I
said, grinning at him.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to be released today!" he pouted. "I'd have come and
brought you home." I giggled at his expression.

"It wouldn't have been much of a Christmas present if I'd made you work for it." I said with a
laugh.

"This is the best present ever." He said, kissing me again. "I can't believe you're home. I'm
actually a little staggered right now. I am so happy." He wrapped his arms around me tighter.

"Dude!" I heard in the background. "Come on man, we get to hug Bella too!" Emmett came over
then and caught me up in a bear hug. "Hello there, brother bear." I said laughing. Elizabeth came
into the room then with Rose, looking at me curiously. She cried "Alley!" and reached out for
Alice. I stroked her hair while Alice held her. "Hi Libby." I said, softly. "Mama." She said,
looking at me. "That's right baby, mommy is finally here." I said, smiling at her. She smiled
back, and my heart just melted at the sight of it.

Esme, Alice, and Rosalie served dinner in our dining room. I wasn't allowed to help because I
was literally hours out of the hospital. We sat as a family, eating and talking for the first time in
nearly a year. It was nice to finally have them all back again. It was starting to get late so we
went into the living room and after the 'open one present on Christmas Eve' Cullen family
tradition – the rest of the family went home. Because of my condition, they were going to spend
the day at our house tomorrow instead of us going to his parents'. I was glad because I was
started to get a little worn out. Libby had fallen asleep in the middle of the living room floor
playing with her new tea set. She didn't really understand about Santa yet, so we didn't make a
huge production of it. Edward carried her up to bed, and then came back down.

We sat in front of the fireplace in each other's arms. Words just weren't enough to express what
we felt for each other in that moment. We were home, together, and happy. "Ready to go up to
bed, love?" he asked softly after a while. "Sure." I said, smiling. He picked me up, and I giggled.
"Edward! I am capable of walking up to our bedroom." He pulled me closer to him. "Maybe." He
said. "But I like this a lot better." By the time we closed our bedroom door, we were both
laughing. "Well," He said, setting me down, "I know what my New Year's resolution is now. I'm
going back to the gym. I'd been neglecting that because Libby needed me." I smacked him on the
shoulder. "Well, I guess that will be mine too after that comment." I grinned. "Maybe we can
find one with a day care for Libby, we could all go together." He kissed me softly. "I'd like that."

The kissing grew more intense, and after a moment I pulled back and said "I'm going to go
change, I'll be right back." He nodded and went to the dresser for a pair of pajama pants. I
grabbed the bag that Alice had left for me in the closet and headed for the bathroom. I set the bag
on the counter and pulled out Edward's second present with a grin. I changed into it, and then
brushed my hair out into long waves. I opened the bathroom door and walked into our bedroom;
he was lying on the bed and looked up at the sound. The look on his face was precious.
"Bella…" he breathed, "My God..." I stood before him in a red teddy from Victoria Secret
complete with stockings. "Merry Christmas, Edward – would you like to open your present
now?" I asked, playing with the ribbon between my breasts. He got up from the bed, strode over
to me, and picked me up seemingly in one motion. I was now lying on the bed exactly where he
had just been.

"You are so beautiful." He said, stroking my hair. He nipped and kissed my ear, his hands never
straying lower than my shoulders. It was almost like he was afraid to go any farther – like I was a
porcelain doll he didn't want to break. I put my hand on the side of his face, and said smiling,
"Edward, both my doctor and Kate said this was fine – so long as we weren't overly…
inventive." He nodded, and kissed me softly. "I know, I guess I'm just… scared." He said quietly.
"I know what it's like to lose you – and I can't bear that pain. I'm so afraid that I'm going to make
a big enough mistake and…" I put my fingers over his lips. "You never lost me. I may have been
unconscious for a while, but I always loved you – I will always love you." He kissed me again on
the forehead. "And I love you." I smiled at him then, and stretched up so that my lips were next
to his ear. I said in a low soft voice, a hint of a smile coming through. "Will you show me?" And
then I started kissing his neck. He moaned softly, low in the back of his throat as his lips returned
to mine. He reached up and took one of my hands from around his neck and pushed it between
us. He pressed it hard against the front of his sleep pants "Does that show you what you do to
me, Bella?" he asked, in a strained voice. I stroked him through his pajama pants, and I could
hear his breathing change. I pressed his hand to the front of my teddy, against my sex and asked
him "Does that show you what you do to me, Edward?"

Edward POV

I was beyond the ability for rational thought. My Bella was home. My Bella was in our bed. My
Bella wanted to make love. I pulled down the thin straps of the teddy and stroked her breasts
with my long fingers. My lips went back to her neck, and she moaned my name softly. I loved
the sound of her voice when we made love. I felt myself getting harder against her leg. I trailed

soft open kisses along her collar bone, then over her breasts. She arched her back, whimpering
softly as I teased her nipples. I sucked, and teased them with my teeth wanting her hear her moan
my name again. Her hands went into the back of my hair, pushing me harder against her chest.
"Edward… That feels… so… mmmmmmm…" she said in a low throaty voice. My resolve
snapped, and I pulled the teddy all the way off. She reached down to remove one of the
stockings, but I stopped her. "Leave them on, they are fucking sexy… "I nearly growled as I
opened her legs, and ran my tongue along the tops of the stockings. She liked that, and opened
her legs farther to me in anticipation.

I pressed my mouth against her wet sex, and wrapped my arms around her thighs. My hands
went to her soft stomach as I teased her with my tongue. I held her in place as she tried to buck
her hips up to my mouth. I loved the way she was losing control, as she tried to push my face
harder against her. It had been so long since I'd felt like this. I slid two fingers into her as she
rocked her hips. She gasped and started to tremble. I stopped slowly, and moved back up–
positioning myself between her legs. I kissed her deeply as I entered her. I couldn't stand to tease
either of us any longer. Finding a gentle rhythm, I wrapped my arms around her. Her legs
wrapped around my waist, and her fingers found their way back to my hair. "God Bella…"I
moaned into her neck, "You feel so good…" She bucked her hips up against me, hard. She threw
her head back moaning unrestrained now.

"Harder…" she said, her tiny hands grasping my back. At that single word, I lost all self control.
I thrust into her as hard as I dared, over and over. I started to go faster with each movement. I
could feel her tighten around me, her legs, her arms, her sex. It was maddening. She threw her
head back and cried out my name, it was the sexiest thing I ever heard. The sound of her cries,
the feeling of her orgasm around me pushed me into my own. My head dropped to her shoulder
as I remained inside her, unable to move. As I tried to bring my breathing under control, I gasped
in her ear "Wow.. That was so…"

"Amazing" she finished panting. I rolled to her side, pulling her to me and kissing her on top of
the head. She giggled. "Did you like your presents?"

"You have no idea, love." I said, holding her closer to me and pulling up the blankets to cover us.
She rested her head on my chest. "I think I do." She said, squeezing me back. I tilted her face up
to look at me then, seeing the raw emotion in her face. I had to tell her how I felt, what it meant
to me. "I finally feel whole again. For so long, I felt like part of me was ripped out of my chest. It
has hurt so much for so long, I didn't think it would ever end. Thank you for coming back to me,
Bella. Not just for waking up, but for forgiving me, for loving me." She kissed me softly, and
nodded.

Bella POV

I heard a noise on the baby monitor early Christmas morning, and went to check on Libby. She
was standing in her crib, her arms outstretched and her little hands beckoning me. I smiled, and
picked her up. "Mama" she said, laughing. "Hi baby." I said. "Looks like you need changing,
whooo." I said grinning. She laughed again. I changed her, finding the stuff I'd need pretty easily
in the well-stocked, well-organized nursery. "Want to go wake up daddy?" I asked. "Dada!" she

cried.

I peeked into our bedroom to make sure that Edward was still covered by the blanket, and set
Libby on the bed. She crawled up and sat on his chest. "Dada!" she cried, and smacked his chest
with her little hands. His eyes flew open, and she giggled. "Good morning, Elizabeth." He said,
laughing. "Merry Christmas, my angels." He said, holding my hand as I came to grab Libby.

"I'm going to take her downstairs and start breakfast." I said, grinning at him. "Throw on some
pajama pants and join us." I leaned down to kiss him softly. "You know," he said with a wicked
grin "if you didn't have our beautiful daughter in your arms, I'd never let you leave this room,
right?" I smacked his arm, and said "Get up, perv." He laughed and Libby chirped up "perv!" I
know that every part of me blushed at that, and he put a pillow over his face to stifle the laughter.
I didn't say anything, not wanting to draw attention to it. I hope she forgot that little word soon.

I went downstairs, putting Libby in her play yard. I had to get reacquainted with my kitchen; it
had been nearly a year since I'd used it. I finally got out everything I would need to make
pancakes, when I felt two arms slide around my waist. "Merry Christmas, love." He said softly in
my ear. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

Our little family ate breakfast in the kitchen, and then we started to get ready for our guests.
Alice had bought Elizabeth a beautiful red velvet dress with all of the bells and whistles. I
dressed simply in a black skirt and red sweater. I wanted to be comfortable today; I had a feeling
I was going to be worn out again by the end of it. I wasn't used to so much activity, and I would
really need to pace myself. Around 2:00, the rest of our family started to arrive. Alice came in
with Esme and Carlisle, and we started putting together food in the kitchen. Soon Rose joined us,
signaling their family's arrival. When Charlie came in, I wrapped my arms around him and said
"Merry Christmas, Dad." He asked how I was doing, and I told him – truthfully, that I had never
been happier. As I sent him into the family room to watch football with the other guys, the door
rang again. I couldn't think who it could be, everyone else was here. Edward came up behind me
as I opened the door.

Before I could register a "Merry Christmas", Edward was by my side. I looked up into his face
and was startled to see that it was full of rage. "You have a lot of nerve to come here." He
growled loudly. Emmett appeared behind Edward in an instant, and I heard him swear under his
breath and say "Oh, hell no…" I looked up at them, confused. What had happened that would
cause them to act this way? Edward and Emmett were strong yes, but they were both so gentle. I
held Edward's hand and felt that he was shaking. I turned to face the front door. Without so much
as a hello, I asked "Renee, what the hell did you do?"

Edward however, was the first to answer. "She tried to take Elizabeth away from me. She tried to
convince a judge that until you came back to me, the best place for our daughter was with her.
She might have succeeded to, if her stupid little accomplice back there hadn't been an idiot." Just
then, I noticed who was standing behind my mother – Jacob. He came forward then, looking at
Edward with a mocking smile. "So, you didn't tell her? Keeping secrets again, Edward?"

I looked up at Edward, who was now straining to get out of Emmett's grasp. I put my hand on his

arm. He looked down at me and calmed at once. "She came home yesterday. Unlike you two I
had no intension of ruining her day, or Elizabeth's first Christmas ". He looked at me then, "I
have copies of all of the court documents in our closet upstairs. I was going to talk to you about
it next week when things calmed down a little." I nodded and turned on our visitors. Renee spoke
first. "Why did I have to hear from Jacob that Bella was awake? You couldn't be bothered?"
Edward looked at her coldly, and said "I figured Charlie would tell you. I had other priorities –
my wife and daughter."

"I wasn't about to tell her, I can't stand her." I heard my dad's voice behind me. "After we had to
fight so hard to keep her from taking my granddaughter, I swore not to have anything to do with
her again." Renee scoffed at him. My temper broke. "I'll deal with you in a minute, Renee." I
stepped forward and looked at Jacob. "How could you? How could you help her try to take my
daughter from her family? You didn't think they were having a hard enough time coping with me
in a coma?" He ducked his head, "Bella, I…" I cut him off. "You were there Jacob; you know
what kind of mother she wasn't. Getting a piece of the high school gym teacher was more
important than her whole family!" I heard Renee gasp, but continued. "She left me, Jacob. She
abandoned her own child, and you wanted to give her mine? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Edward wrapped his arms around me then. "Bella, love. This isn't good for you, so soon. Let's
just go back inside and have Christmas with our family." When I didn't move he added, "Please,
sweetheart." I nodded and turned back to the door. "Why are you here anyway, Renee?"

"I'm here because I wanted to see you. You're my daughter and I love you. I wanted to see
Eliza…" I cut her off. "I'm Charlie's daughter." I said brusquely, and closed the door.


Okay, and in case it's only obvious to me – Renee (with Jacob's help) fighting Edward tooth
and nail for custody was the bombshell I spoke of earlier.


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Chapter: 12


"I'm here because I wanted to see you. You're my daughter and I love you. I wanted to see
Eliza…" I cut her off. "I'm Charlie's daughter." I said brusquely, and closed the door.

Chapter Twelve – Blame

Edward POV

After Bella slammed the door in her mother's face, she stormed up the stairs. I looked at Emmett
and Charlie. Both looked like they wanted to go after her, but I told them to go back to the family

and I headed upstairs. I found her furiously dismantling the hall closet. "It's in our bedroom
closet, love…" I said softly. She made to stomp off to our bedroom but I grabbed her around the
waist. She struggled, and I continued, "Bella. It's Elizabeth's first Christmas and she is
downstairs waiting for us. Term doesn't start for another week, honey. We can do this
tomorrow." She continued to struggle and then abruptly turned to bury her face in my chest. I
held her close and stroked her hair as she started to cry.

"Why?" she asked in a quiet voice. "Why didn't I just stay with Esme and Alice that night? If I
hadn't been so STUPID, none of this WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!"

"Bella!" I said, shocked. I was stunned. How could she blame herself for this?

I tried to step back and look into her face, but she held on fiercely. "I'm so sorry, Edward. If I'd
have waited for you like you told me to… You wouldn't have had to go through this… You
wouldn't have been alone… You wouldn't have had to deal with my crazy mother… …messed
things up so badly…" she mumbled between sobs.

"Honey, stop." I said firmly. "None of this is your fault. NONE of it." I rubbed her back and held
her hard against me. I looked up then to see Emmett coming up the stairs. She sniffled and turned
at the sound. She let go of me, and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry, Emmett." She said
her voice hoarse. Emmett looked at me curiously, a little afraid of her outburst.

"She thinks the accident, and the resulting fallout was her fault because she went home instead of
staying at the party." I said with a sigh.

Emmett abruptly pulled away from her and looked her right in the eye. "If I hadn't been loaded
that night, I could have taken you home. You are my little sister now; I was supposed to protect
you – to take care of you. Have you thought of that? Does that make all of this my fault?" he
asked sternly.

"Oh no, Emmett… Of course not!" she said, shocked.

"Then it's not your fault either." He said to her, his face softening. "Or yours." he continued,
looking at me over her head. "Damn it, guys – bad stuff happens. It just does. It's not anyone's
fault. We could have lost you that night Bells, but we didn't. We could have lost Elizabeth, but
we didn't. It's over now; can we please just put our lives back together?" He finished, pulling her
into his massive chest.

"I'm sorry." She said after a minute, wiping her eyes. "You're right – no more blame." She
reached back and took my hand. "From any of us – thank you, Em. Love you."

"I love you too, kid." He said, squeezing her.

Bella took a few minutes to clean herself up, and then we all came back downstairs. Alice looked
at us questioningly, but I mouthed – later. We had a nice family dinner and the conversation
stayed on lighter topics. We finally went to sit around the tree and open presents. Elizabeth's

stack was so big that we couldn't see her and Alice behind it for a while. She laughed as they
opened her presents, but mostly played with the empty boxes – throwing her new toys aside.

When it was Bella's turn to open her gifts, I pulled a small box from my pocket and handed it to
her first. She giggled and said "Well, we're already married, so it's probably not an engagement
ring." I grinned at her as she opened the small velvet box. She gasped. It was a custom-designed
ring made just for her. It was platinum with a pearl in the center, and a sapphire to the left and a
garnet to the right. "Edward!" she said, "It's beautiful."

"It's a nice representation of our family. There's a pearl for me, a sapphire for you, and a garnet
for Elizabeth." I told her softly. I took it from the box, and slid it on her finger – where I knew it
would always stay.

The next day, I pulled all of the stuff from the trial onto the dining room table. Elizabeth had
gone home with my parents so that Bella and I could focus on getting through what had
happened with Renee. I knew it was important to Bella to find out everything about the court
case. She wanted to make sense of what had happened while she was … sleeping.

Bella POV

"I can't believe that they did this!" I said, for what seemed like the hundredth time today.

Edward had taken me through the basics of the court case. Three weeks after the accident, Mrs.
Renee M. Dwyer filed suit in Washington for temporary custody of Elizabeth Mary Cullen. As
the case progressed, Renee submitted emails that I had sent to Jacob as evidence that Edward
wasn't interested in the baby and therefore wouldn't want to properly care for her. Edward's
attorney had countered with three weeks of videos showing Edward's interaction with Elizabeth.
Eventually, it came down to character – and Edward's lawyers found emails in Jacob's college
account that confirmed that he and Renee had postulated this scheme to get Elizabeth so that it
would be easier to separate me from Edward when I finally woke up. If Elizabeth had been taken
from Edward, it would be easier for Jacob to convince me he was the better man. Edward
prevailed with this obvious devotion to his newly expanded family.

- FLASHBACK: COURT ROOM -

Edward POV

I had never been in a fight for my life, but I can only imagine that this is what it feels like. This
woman was trying to take my whole life from me. Elizabeth was all I had left until my Bella
came back to me. She is our child, and I will give everything, including my life to protect her.
Thank God the detectives I'd hired found those emails on his computer. I always knew he would
try to take Bella from me. I just never fully appreciated the lengths to which he'd go. Now, it was
my turn to take the stand. I am nervous, I have accepted that. I have never had more on the line
than I do right now.

"Dr. Edward Cullen?" I heard them calling me to the witness stand. After being sworn in, my

lawyer – the best child custody attorney in the state – started his questions.

"Dr. Cullen, tell us about Elizabeth." He said, warmly.

"Elizabeth is amazing." I sighed. "She was born premature, but she's developing beautifully.
She's gaining weight, and is growing. More than that, she's happy. She sleeps well, she smiles,
and she's grown attached to me and to my family."

"Can you describe your typical day for us?" he asked.

"I have made special arrangements to finish my medical residency by teaching so that I can set
my schedule. I get up in the morning, and get Elizabeth ready. I take her to the day care at the
college where I teach, and lecture in the mornings. I spend lunch at the day care with her, and
then hold office hours in the afternoons. Afterwards, I pick Elizabeth up from the day care and
we spend a few hours with Bella at the hospital. Elizabeth bonds with Bella, and we tell her
about our day. Then, we go home and have dinner. We spend time together, and then I give her a
bath and put her to bed. I get our stuff ready for the next morning. We have a routine. That
routine is important to both of us."

"Dr. Cullen, how do you respond to the accusations of Mrs. Dwyer that you don't have any
interest in your daughter?" he asked solemnly.

"First, I have to say that while I hoped Mrs. Dwyer's intensions were in Elizabeth's best interest
and not her own – we now know that they aren't. Second, this could not be farther from the truth.
When Bella told me that she was pregnant, I reacted badly – I admit that. It wasn't for the reason
that Bella thought, and subsequently relayed to Mr. Black, however. I had always wanted
children. I just wanted to be a better man, a better husband, and farther along in my career before
we started. I was scared, I didn't think that I was ready or that I would be a good enough father. I
was wrong. I figured out before Elizabeth was born that I was ready, which is why I was able to
step up and care for Elizabeth essentially as a single parent after the accident."

"Why should Elizabeth stay with you?"

"Most importantly, I love her. Elizabeth is one of the two most important things in my life. She is
my daughter, and Bella's daughter. I have the financial and social resources to provide for her. I
have a strong support network in my family, and we are the only family she knows. To remove
her from us and from me in particular, would be to her detriment. She is safe and happy with me.
The best place for her is with her family that loves her and would do anything for her."

"Dr. Cullen, if I may interrupt – could you answer a question for me?" the judge asked,
suddenly.

"Sir?" I asked.

"What is it that around your neck? You have been unconsciously toying with it all during your
testimony." He said, not unkindly.

I held it up to show him. "It's my wife's wedding band. She is unable to wear it in the hospital, in
case she has swelling her hands. I… I couldn't bear to just leave it in a drawer. It gives me
strength." I finished softly. He nodded.

When I got off the stand, it was Charlie's turn. He talked about how Renee had abandoned him
and taken no interest in Bella. He practically begged the judge to leave Elizabeth with me. He
told him that he knows his daughter, and that when she wakes up – she will work things out with
me and that we'll be a family. It seems he'd had enough of Renee.

- END FLASHBACK -

Bella POV

Edward ordered Chinese food while I went to take a bath. How could Jacob have done this? I
know Renee is a fruit loop, so I expect it of her – but Jacob? I put my iPod on and thought back
to when Jacob and I had really become friends. Billy and Charlie had been friends for forever, so
Jacob and I had been around each other all our lives. I think it was 8th grade that we really
started to get close. Things at home had started to go from bad to worse, and Charlie didn't want
for me to have to deal with that. So, when he knew something nasty was coming, he'd take me
down to Billy's to stay over with Jacob's older sisters. Jacob and I were the same age, so I hit it
off with him more than the twins. They were seniors, and didn't really want to hang out with
someone so much younger.

Jacob and I watched movies together, took turns riding his beat up dirt bike, and spent a lot of
time on the beach. He couldn't empathize with my situation at home. His mom had been killed in
a car accident, and before that she and Billy never fought. But, he could sympathize because of
the loss of his mother. He was in pain, and I was in pain. We listened to each other, and were
each other's comfort in the dark times. Freshman year, when my mother ran off with Phil, and
never called again – I thought I would lose my mind. How could my own mother not bother
enough to care about the family she left behind? Charlie tried to make up for the loss, but he was
just as devastated. But I had Jacob, and I made it through. Charlie and Billy gave up the pretense
that I was visiting the twins, and let Jacob stay over with us too. Jacob and I never developed
that kind of relationship though. We were content to just be friends.

- FLASHBACK: PROM -

"Hey Bells?" Jacob asked with a grin as he folded up the blankets from another night on our
couch.

"Yeah, Jake?" I said, stacking his stuff in the closet.

"I was thinking – since we're both… available. What would you think of going to prom with me?
I know it's not really your scene, but I don't want to grow up being the only guy on earth who
didn't go to his senior prom." He looked away from me. "We could just hang out; maybe dance a
little – nothing major." He finished quietly.

Jacob had done so much for me. He had kept me sane during the worst time of my life. How
could I begrudge him anything? Besides, Charlie would love it. He's always telling me to go out
and enjoy my youth. "Sure, Jake." I said casually.

"Really?" he asked, suddenly beaming.

"Yep. You obviously want to go. What kind of friend would I be if I said no?" I told him,
honestly.

His face fell a little, but he quickly hid it. "Thanks, Bells."

We had a great time at prom. He looked handsome in his tux, and I looked nice in my dress. We
danced with our friends, and had our pictures taken. It was a typical prom night. It got a little
awkward when he brought me home, though and kissed me goodnight. When I looked up at him
surprised after the kiss, he grinned sheepishly and told me he'd been caught up in the moment.
We never talked about the kiss again.

- END FLASHBACK -

In the fall, I went off to UW and Jacob went to NYU. He didn't want to go, he told me before we
all left. He wanted to go to UW – but he'd gotten a football scholarship, and couldn't just refuse
it. We emailed and sent a lot of text messages during the semesters, and for the first two
summers we were inseparable. The third summer, Jacob got a prestigious internship and had to
stay at school. It made me sad, but not as sad as I thought it would. It felt like Jacob and I were
starting to grow apart. Then, just before my last semester in school, I met Edward. Things with
Jacob cooled even farther. When Edward and Alice invited me to spend a few weeks with his
family after we graduated, I was thrilled. We could take some time off before Edward started
medical school and Alice & I started our careers. I didn't hear from Jacob at all that summer. In
the fall he told me that he was staying in New York to work on his masters, but that he would
always be there for me if I needed him. And one day, I did need him.

- FLASHBACK: EDWARD'S REACTION -

"J… Jacob?" I asked, and even I could hear how broken I sounded.

"Bella, honey? What's wrong?" he asked, panicked.

"I… I…" I started, but I couldn't form the words.

"Is it Charlie? Sweetheart, talk to me..." he tried again.

I still couldn't speak.

"Is it him?" He asked his voice colder. "Did he hurt you, Bella?"

"Oh Jake…" I said, the tears falling in earnest now.

"Honey, go stay with Charlie. I'll catch the first flight out, and be there in the morning." He said
gruffly.

"No, Jake. It's not like that. He wouldn't…" I started. I had to tell him so he wouldn't jump on a
plane. I didn't need to mess up his life too. "It's just that… I… I'm… pregnant." I stuttered.

"Bella, honey – I thought that was a good thing? Why are you so upset?" he asked, stunned.

"He left." I said in a hollow voice. "I told him he was going to be a father, and he blanched and
then left. He's just starting his residency. I feel like I've ruined his life." I said, shaking. "That's
the impression I got from the look on his face. He didn't even say anything. He just bolted for the
door."

We talked for an hour, until I was finally calm enough to sleep. It hadn't mattered that he was on
the other side of the country. It hadn't mattered that we had grown apart over the years in college.
It hadn't even mattered that he didn't come to my wedding. He was my safe place, and when I
was in trouble – he was the only one I thought to call.

- END FLASHBACK -

Bella POV

I almost screamed when I felt the hand on my shoulder. I had always locked the door to the
bathroom out of habit – living with Charlie. I opened my eyes to find a frantic Edward on his
knees next to the tub. I pulled the ear buds out of my ears and asked, a little panicked "Edward,
what's wrong?"

He calmed almost instantly and said "I knocked on the door when the food arrived, but you didn't
answer. I pounded on the door asking if you were okay – still nothing. Finally, I kind of…
uhmmm… took the door off the hinges." He said, almost sheepishly as I saw the power drill on
the sink. "I'm sorry, it just scared the hell out of me when you didn't answer." He finished as he
stroked my face.

"Oh! Oh, Edward…" I tried not to giggle because it really wasn't funny – but he smiled. "I am so
sorry. I just locked the door out of habit and with the music on… I didn't hear you." I pressed my
hand to his on my face. "I'm really sorry that I scared you."

"It's okay." He said with a soft sigh as he stood. "Now, what I've been trying to tell you is that
dinner is ready." He laughed. I laughed too.

That night before bed, I put on a short midnight blue silk night gown and crawled on top of
Edward in bed. I grabbed the medical journal he was reading and tossed it to the floor. He looked
up at me and smiled. I took advantage of his lack of comment and kissed him aggressively. He
moaned softly against my mouth, and ran his hands up my legs under the bottom of the night

gown. "This looks so good on you." He said in a low voice. "But…"

"But?" I asked.

"It would look better on the floor." He said with a smirk, pulling it up and off. "Oh my…" he
said in a low voice, seeing that I have nothing on underneath.

"Uh uh, Doctor Cullen..." I said with a grin. "It's all about you tonight buddy. It's the least I can
do after you came to my rescue in the bathroom earlier." His cheeks reddened.

"I did overreact just a bit, didn't I?" He asked.

"No, Edward – you didn't." I said honestly. "I am just a few days out of the hospital, less than a
month out of a nearly yearlong coma. I could have fallen and hit my head. I could have passed
out. You didn't know. And I want to show you my appreciation for caring about me so much." I
said with a little wink. "Now, let's see... If I remember correctly – you like to watch, right?" I
asked, smiling. He nodded slowly; the shocked look on his face was adorable.

I ran both my hands through my hair, closing my eyes. I licked my lips, and smiled at what I was
about to do. I let my hands slide slowly over my face, my neck, my shoulders… I moaned softly
as they reached my breasts. I heard him suck in a ragged breath as I teased my nipples slowly.
My hips started their own slow movements against his stomach. He moaned and put his hands on
my hips, making no other move to touch me. I pinched my nipples harder, rolling them between
my fingers. My head fell back, cascading my long hair down my back. His grip tightened on my
hips.

"Bella, baby…" he groaned as my hands slid lower, "God… so sexy…"

As I began to tease my wet sex with my fingers, he begged me – "Please, Bella…" I smirked
down at him. "What is it that you want, Edward?" I giggled, in spite of myself.

Edward POV

"What is it that you want, Edward?"

I was so turned on; I couldn't even answer her question. I grabbed her hips tighter and lifted her.
She straddled over me, looking down into my face. She smiled. "Please, Bella… I'm so hard; I'm
literally aching for you… Please…" She lowered herself onto me, and I nearly came right then. I
closed my eyes at the sensation and thrust up into her. She moaned loudly, and started to find her
rhythm on top of me. She put her hands on my chest to brace herself, and I felt her stroking my
nipples. It was too much; I took one of my hands off of her hip and began stroking her sex. I was
trying desperately to hold out. It felt so good to be with her like this, and thinking about that little
show was driving me over the edge.

Suddenly, she fell forward with her head on my shoulder – still moving her hips and shuddered. I
felt her tighten around me as she cried my name in my ear. Hearing her lose all control like that,

I thrust hard into her with deep guttural sounds. "Oh God baby.. Bella… Yes…" I groaned her
name over and over until I pulled her hips hard against me. I exploded into her, my muscles
locking as I arched my body up.

I wrapped my arms around her, holding her to my chest. It felt so perfect in this moment that I
never wanted to move. We were as close as two people could get, and nothing would ever
separate us.




Now that we're through Christmas – you know what comes next… New Years. :) And some of
you may have noticed, so I'll address it. Yes, I went back and edited out Jasper - I only
mentioned him once. I thought of an idea after I posted that chapter - you'll see soon.

I know I usually post more than once a week, but I'm still developing the middle of the story. I
know how I want it to end - I just have to get it there. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint.


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Chapter: 13


I wrapped my arms around her, holding her to my chest. It felt so perfect in this moment that I
never wanted to move. We were as close as two people could get, and nothing would ever
separate us.

Chapter Thirteen – New Years

Bella POV

"Thanks for helping me with this, Alice – really. I think Edward is really going to love it." I said,
smiling at her. I'd decided to wear the same dress to the New Year's party tomorrow night that I'd
worn the night Edward and I met. It still fit, but because of my lack of physical activity over the
last year, and having a baby – it was tight. Alice was doing a few quick alterations.

"He is going to have a heart attack when he sees you in this." She said, giggling. "He wouldn't
shut up about this dress for weeks after that party. Though, I think it may have been more than
the dress, now that I look back…" I laughed with her. Libby was on the floor, playing with her
new tea set from Christmas. Libby and I have been bonding so well during this last week. She
felt more comfortable with Edward there, and was opening up to me. I wasn't just the 'mama'
stranger anymore. I was really starting to feel like mommy now. We had started to fall into a nice
routine – making dinner together, reading together, and putting Libby to bed. Though I don't

know that I would admit it out loud, I was still coming to terms with the changes in Edward. It's
like I got everything I'd ever wanted and things I didn't even know to ask for all in the same
week. All it took was getting hit by a truck. Effective, but probably something I wouldn't want to
try again. I smiled to myself.

"What?" Alice asked, smiling too – that girl missed nothing. "Thinking about… oh… I don't
know… Edward maybe?"

"More about how much he's changed. Speaking of, I've been meaning to ask you. How come you
never told me that he came to see you on our anniversary last year?" I asked, now turning to look
at her. She looked up at me then.

"I wanted to, Bella. I wanted you to know that he had finally started to grow up – but it was his
thing to tell, not mine. He was so convinced that words just wouldn't do it. He honestly believed
that he had to show you that he was ready." She sighed. "You wouldn't believe how much of a
pain it is to get baby furniture ordered and delivered that quickly. It still took nearly four weeks
to get it all delivered to my parents house. He and Em got everything over there and put together
on New Year's Eve. Do you remember how insistent I was that we go to the spa and get ready at
my house?" she laughed as I nodded. "Well, now you know why. It was my job to keep you out
of the house."

"Well, it worked. I was fairly shocked when I saw the DVD in the hospital. Oh.. The DVD's.
Thank you again, Alice – so much. I think they may have actually saved my marriage. They
definitely saved my sanity." I laughed.

"What are friends for?" she said with a smile.

Edward POV

I love and hate New Year's Eve, I thought as I sighed to myself. It is the day that both gave me
my Bella and nearly took her away. I can't stand to think about what happened last year. I keep
remembering how she looked when they brought her in to the ER. I will never get the image of
her, battered and broken, out of my mind. I shook off the thought. Tonight is going to be a happy
occasion. It will be good for Bella to get dressed up and out of the house. She hadn't been out on
anything resembling a date in a year.

Esme has told us in no uncertain terms that none of us are leaving after the party tonight. I have a
feeling that deep down she blames herself for the accident because she didn't stop Bella from
leaving that night. This year, she said she can't take the thought of losing any of us, so her kids
and our families are all grounded for the night. I know it's mostly because she can't bear the
thought of Jane or Elizabeth on the roads. We didn't have the heart to argue. We'll leave early to
finish setting up for Libby's birthday party tomorrow.

Jazz wasn't due to get in for a couple of hours, so I decided to read for a while before getting
ready for the party. Bella and Libby had been whisked off by Alice earlier this morning for 'girl
time'. I know that means that they are going to play Alice's favorite game – 'Bella Barbie'. Since

the accident, Bella hasn't minded so much. I think she still feels that she owes Alice for all of the
DVDs. I settled in on the couch, yawning as I grabbed one of the journals off the end table. I
hadn't even gotten half way through the first article before it was resting on my chest and I had
drifted off.

The forest was so dense, it was difficult to discern the time of day. I looked around, confused.
This resembled the wooded area around the meadow where I'd proposed to Bella, but it felt
more… menacing. I felt unreasonably anxious, and started to walk. I could hear the rustling of
leaves around me, and small animals in the brush. I heard running water nearby and started to
head toward it when a piercing scream ripped through the trees. It sounded like…

"BELLA!" I screamed, and took off – trying to determine exactly where it had come from. Then I
heard something to make my heart stop. I heard Elizabeth crying - "dada… dada…" over and
over. My angels were in these woods, and they were scared, or worse. Please God, please let me
find them…

I came into a clearing and felt my legs give out. Bella was lying in the grass, her hair matted, her
clothes torn. She looked like she had coming through the ER doors. Her face was covered in
blood, and she was deathly pale.

"Bella, baby… Please… Can you hear me, Bella? Please! No! Please! Bella NO!" I was sobbing.
She wasn't moving. She wasn't breathing. I looked around wildly for help and caught sight of
Elizabeth. She was trembling on the other side of the clearing, calling for me. Her little arms
were raised in a plea for me to pick her up. I got up and started towards her. It was only then
that I saw the huge russet wolf. He growled menacingly, watching me. Suddenly he sprang
towards my daughter, his huge teeth bared in attack. And then, I couldn't see her anymore – all I
could see was fur.

"NOOOOO!" I screamed. As I ran, I tripped over a fallen branch and hit the forest floor.

I woke up shaking on the living room floor, with tears streaming down my face. I had fallen off
the couch in the force of the dream. I looked around wildly and saw that the sun had set. I'd
never had such a realistic dream. I reached for my phone to call Bella, just to hear her voice
when I heard a knock at the door. I wiped my face on my shirt and opened it a little frantic, and
found Jazz on the porch.

"Hey man! Long time no… Edward, what's wrong?" Jasper said, quickly. I shook my head,
trying to clear away the remnants of the dream. He must have seen something wild and panicked
in my eyes. I tried to control my breathing.

"Nothing, man. I just woke up from a horrific dream." I said, throwing an arm around his
shoulders. "I'll be okay in a minute, really. Let's get your stuff inside. I'm so glad you decided to
stay with us while you're looking for a place. Bella is dying to meet you."

"Well, thanks for letting me stay – really. I can't wait to meet her either – sounds like you got a
real upgrade in the roommate department. You talked about her constantly that last semester.

Well, and we won't talk about the sounds coming out of your room when you guys were on the
phone…" he said, winking. I blushed a little at that, remembering some of the phone
conversations Bella and I had in college. Thankfully, Jazz was an understanding roommate.

"I'm looking forward to you sticking around. I missed you, man. I'm glad you got that traveling
thing out of your system and decided to settle for a while. A tenured position – that's impressive.
You'll rank above me at the college, and you just got hired." I said, grinning. I reached down and
grabbed one of his bags while he grabbed the other. "Let's get your stuff upstairs."

Jasper decided to catch up on some sleep while I left for my parents'. He'd just flown in from
Asia, and was horribly jet lagged. Only the prospect of free food and booze was getting him out
of bed for the party later. I left him the directions, and told him I'd see him there. Sprinting for
the Volvo, I had an overwhelming urge to see Bella and Libby. I had tried to put the dream out of
my mind, but I couldn't shake the anxiety I felt until I had both of my angels in my arms.

Alice had really outdone herself this time. My parents' house looked phenomenal. It was elegant
and stylish. Catered food stations were set up around the living and dining rooms with several
mouth watering delicacies. Two open bar stations were also set up. The only thing in my mind
though was that I really wanted to find Bella. I called through the house for her, and I heard
Alice from upstairs. "She'll be down in a minute, keep your pants on!" I laughed in spite of
myself. When my wife was within 50 feet of me the last thing I wanted to do was keep my pants
on.

I heard someone coming down the stairs and looked up. I gasped as I caught sight of her, my
eyes widening as my jaw hit the floor. She was wearing that dress. The same dress she'd worn
the night we met. I didn't even know that she'd kept it. She walked over to me, smiling and put
her finger on my chin closing my mouth. "It's impolite to stare." She said giggling.

I wrapped my arms around her tightly, and buried my face in her neck. "I can't even articulate
how absolutely stunning you are tonight. Words won't do it justice." I murmured in her ear. "You
take my very breath away." She pulled back slightly, and put her hand on my face. "That was
very eloquent." She said, smiling. Then she kissed me – softly at first, but then deepening. When
we parted, we were both a little breathless. It was the first time since I awoke on the floor that I
was able to shake the dream.

In what seemed like no time at all it was nearing midnight. I was standing at one of the open bars
getting sodas for Bella and myself when I felt a nudge. Jasper was standing next to me waiting
for his beer. "Nice party." He said, looking around. "Want me to introduce you around?" I asked
him, taking the sodas. "Nah. Your family and such will be over for the birthday party tomorrow,
right? I'll meet them then. I'm still a little out of it from the flight. I think I'm just going to get
some food, and some beer in me and head out when the ball drops. It's only about 10 more
minutes." He looked beat. "Okay, man." I said. "We'll be home around 9. You'll have pants on,
right?" He laughed and moved off to the prime rib station.

Bella POV

"Bella!" I heard Alice call from 20 feet away, which was quite an accomplishment over the
music. I couldn't imagine what she was so excited about. She caught up to me, and grabbed my
arm. "Bella, I just saw the hottest guy ever. He was carrying a beer over to one of the food
stations. You have to help me find him. Please!" she cried, bouncing up and down next to me.

"Alice, I've never seen you like this over a guy. Of course I'll help you find him. What did he
look like?" I asked, trying not to laugh. She was a little out of control from the champagne.

"Oh Bella, he's gorgeous. I saw him from across the room, but he looks tall – over six feet with
wavy blond hair and the sweetest smile. He has on a black button down and blue jeans. He
looked right at me, and we just stared at each other. It was like he was looking into my soul!" she
finished in a dramatic whisper. I had to laugh at that, and she scowled. "What? You found your
soul mate at this very party just a few years ago. Is it so hard to believe that I could have found
mine?"

"No, honey. I was just laughing at your stage whisper. You have no idea how excited I would be
for you if you found someone. Now… Let's go look for your man!" We went off searching for
her mystery man. But it was getting close to midnight, and I was also looking for Edward. I was
looking forward to kissing my way into the New Year.

Edward POV

I looked around for Bella. She wasn't where I'd left her. Well, damn… I really needed to find her
before the ball dropped. I didn't want to miss my chance to ring in the New Year in her arms. I
spotted her near the prime rib table where Jazz had been headed. I set the sodas down on a
nearby table, and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She leaned back into me and
sighed.

"Looking for something?" I asked, teasing.

"Actually, I was looking for a man." She said, giggling.

"Well, it looks like one found you instead." I grinned into her hair.

"Yeah, but he's the wrong one." She said, sighing. I spun her around to face me, but she was
smiling.

"Uhmm… What does that mean, exactly?" I asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Alice had a 'love at first sight' moment. She saw this guy across the room, and the locked stares
– but when she made her way over to where he was, he was gone. She begged me to help her
find him." She giggled.

"Alice doesn't believe in 'love at first sight'." I said, shaking my head. "This must have been
some guy. What did he look like?"

"Blond wavy hair, black button down shirt, jeans, and 'the sweetest smile'." She quoted in thin
air. I busted out laughing. "What?" she asked, grinning at my outburst.

"She's talking about Jasper. He stopped in for a while to get some food and beer, but he's so jet
lagged… He was heading back to our place to crash." I said, still laughing.

"Should we tell her?" she asked, seeing the irony of my sister falling for my college roommate
since I fell in love with hers.

"Nope." I said, grinning. "She'll see him at the party tomorrow. Let her think about him for a
while." Just then, the countdown started and I wrapped my arms around her in anticipation of our
first kiss of the New Year.


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Chapter: 14


"Nope." I said, grinning. "She'll see him at the party tomorrow. Let her think about him for a
while." Just then, the countdown started and I wrapped my arms around her in anticipation of
our first kiss of the New Year.

Chapter Fourteen – Birthday Surprises

Edward POV

Bella and I came in at 9 to find a disheveled and pajama-clad Jasper sitting at the breakfast bar
with a cup of coffee. He smiled and stood shaking my hand. "Good mornin'." He said in his
slight southern drawl.

"Hey man." I said, smiling. "You look like you're feeling better."

He grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, between yesterday and today I've slept for like 14 hours. I'm
feeling a lot better."

"Have fun at the party last night?" I asked, trying not to give anything away. Bella, who I'm sure
couldn't keep a straight face, went to the pour herself a cup of the coffee that Jasper had made.

"I only stayed for a few minutes, actually. I was so dead on my feet. I got food and a little beer
and then came back here and slept. I had a really nice dream though." His face took on a faraway
look, and he smiled.

"What was it about?" I asked, curious now. I'd never known Jazz to be a daydreaming kind of

guy. He was much too practical.

"The party, actually. I dreamt about a woman. It was one of those 'locked eyes across a crowded
room' kind of things. She was so beautiful, angelic really. She had short black hair, and a soft
kind face. She was looking at me with wonder too, smiling. It was like I knew her, only I know
I'd never seen her before. So, I knew that I was dreaming – or hallucinating, I was so damn
tired... It made me kind of sad though..." He said, a bit wistfully.

"Be careful what you wish for." I said, smirking as Bella smacked me. "Are you going to
introduce me to your friend?" she asked suddenly.

"Oh! Damn, I forgot you two haven't met yet. Bella, this is Jasper Hale – one of my closest
friends and my only other roommate besides you. Jasper, this is my Bella." I waved my hand
between them and then wrapped my arms around her waist.. "Roommate huh?" Bella asked me,
with one eyebrow raised. "You'd better be nice to me today, or your 'roommate' will be making
you sleep on the couch." I laughed and Bella walked over to Jasper giving him a quick hug. "It's
nice to finally meet you." She said earnestly. "You too Bella." He replied quickly. "I've heard
such nice things about you. You don't have a sister do you?" They both laughed. "Well,
technically I do – Edward's sister, Alice and Emmett's wife Rosalie. You'll meet them today." He
nodded.

"I think I'm going to head up and take a shower." He said, standing up. "Then, you can let me
know if you need any help setting up for today. If I'm going to mooch off of you until I find a
place, the least I can do is make myself useful."

"You're not a mooch!" Bella said stubbornly. I laughed and wrapped my arms around her waist.
"He was kidding, love. He knows that he's welcome here. It's just his southern values creeping
through to the surface." I said grinning at Jasper.

We spent the morning getting things set up for Libby's party. Alice had decided on a Sleeping
Beauty theme which of course Bella found hilarious. Leave it to Alice to find humor in any
situation. She was still picking up food and the cake, but finally showed up about an hour before
the guests were due to arrive. She was bringing in the bouquet of Mylar balloons when Jasper
walked over and asked. "Excuse me, would you like help with those?" She handed them off to
him, and he turned to put them on the table. Bella and I laughed out loud at another exchange
that almost happened. They both turned around and looked at us. "What are you two laughing
at?" Alice demanded. "They are quite the pair, aren't they?" Jasper asked, turning to look at her.
Their eyes met, and Alice gasped.

"I never thought I'd see you again." She whispered.

"I thought you were a dream." He replied.

He took two large steps forward and captured her face in his hands. They stared into each other's
eyes for an endless intimate moment, and then he leaned forward and kissed her. The kiss was
tender at first, but then became more insistent. She wrapped her arms around him, and molded

her little body to his. I gaped at them. Jasper had never been one to lose himself over a woman.
They didn't even know each other's names for God's sake. I looked sideways at Bella, and she
appeared to be just as stunned.

"Uhmmm… Other people in the room, kids…" I said, trying to break the atmosphere. "Wouldn't
you two like names to go with the lips, or something?" Bella elbowed me in the side, and then
grabbed my hand and pulled me from the room. She drug me into the kitchen, and I thought she
was going to yell at me for trying to interrupt Alice and Jasper. But after hopping up onto the
counter, she grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me in for a long, deep kiss. She wrapped
her legs around my waist, and moaned softly into my mouth as it moved frantically against hers.
I pulled back and forced myself to leave her dressed, but looked at her questioningly.

"What?" She asked, with feigned innocence. "It looked like fun."

"You're just trying to distract me from breaking them up. They don't even know each other's
names for God's sake." I said, exasperated.

"There's something there, Edward – something indefinable. We know what that's like, don't we?"
she asked, kissing me again.

"Mmmmmm… I'm glad we do…" I moaned against her mouth. "I love you, Mrs. Cullen."

"And I love you, Mr. Cullen." She said, returning the kiss.

"Yes… Yes… We all know you're in love. Isabella Marie why didn't you tell me that the guy I
was looking for last night was STAYING IN YOUR HOUSE?" I heard Alice demand from
behind me.

Bella stopped kissing me for just long enough to say "because I didn't meet him until this
morning."

"And Edward, why didn't you tell me about this woman when I told you about the dream?" he
demanded, equally amused.

"Because you described her as 'angelic', and once you get to know my sister – you'll find that
she's anything but. Plus, I knew you'd meet today anyway, I thought I'd just let fate take its
course." I said, finally pulling away from Bella. "Did you two get names yet, or was all of your
communication thoroughly non-verbal?" Alice looked sheepish, and just shrugged.

I sighed. "Alice, this is my college roommate, Jasper Hale. He will be staying with Bella and I
while he looks for a place to live. He's the newest tenured history professor at our college.
Jasper, this is my sister, Alice Cullen. She shops for a living." I said, smirking.

"Funny, Edward." Alice said, smacking me on the back of the head.

"See, angelic…" I told Jasper and he laughed.

"Alice, darlin'? Would you have dinner with me tonight after the party?" he asked, taking her
hand and bringing it to his lips. "I'd love to, Jasper." She said, beaming up at him.

Bella POV

About twenty minutes into the party, a late-comer knocked on the door. I was laughing when I
opened it, Elizabeth having just thrown cake on Edward's shirt. The laughter abruptly died in my
throat when I saw Jacob standing at the door. He had a gift in his hands, and his eyes were red.
"Jacob?" I asked softly, walking onto the porch and closing the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Bells, I…" he started, his voice rough. "I came to give this to Elizabeth. I came to apologize to
you, and I came to tell you that… that… Billy… died this morning. His heart finally just gave
out." I saw the tears welling in his eyes before he lowered his head. "I'm all alone now. Rachel
and Rebecca are gone, mom and dad are dead, and you hate me. I can't…" I put my hand over his
mouth to stop him.

"I don't hate you, Jake. I'm upset with you." I said softly, and he took my hand in his. "I'm so
sorry about Billy, I know close you were." Now I knew why Charlie hadn't stopped by yet. I had
to call him when I got back inside. Poor Charlie, Billy was his best friend.

"I miss you so much, Bella." He said softly, still holding my hand. "I've missed you every day
since you left for college." All of a sudden, he pulled me forward into a hug. Since his father had
just died, I didn't try to pull away. I didn't want to upset him further. So, I held my body stiff and
waited. When he started to stroke my face with the back of his hand, I felt uncomfortable and
tried to pull away. He held me tighter. I started to struggle as his face came down to mine. I
shook my head, unable to get the words out before his lips were crashing into mine. As I
struggled and fought against him, the door flew open. Edward and Emmett were standing there
with murderous looks on their faces. Jacob either hadn't seen, or didn't care. Edward grabbed me
while Emmett grabbed Jacob and pushed him off of me. Jacob's eyes widened seeing who had
interrupted us.

I put my hand on Edward's arm and said "Stop, Edward. It's okay." He looked at me,
thunderstruck. I looked to Jacob then. "Jacob, thank you for the gift for Elizabeth. I think you
should go now. You have a lot of arrangements to make, and your friends and family need you.
I'll see you in a few days." Emmett let him go, and he stumbled down off the porch. He turned
and gave me one last aching look before climbing into his car.

I wrapped my arms around Edward after he'd pulled from the drive. "Thank you." I said, burying
my head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, and put his hand to my cheek. He held me
for a few minutes on the porch until I was calm enough to go back to the party. I didn't want any
of our guests to know what had transpired on the porch. Edward leaned down and asked low in
my ear. "What did he want?"

"He came to give Elizabeth a birthday gift." I said, nodding to the gift bag on the ground. "He
also came to tell me that his father passed away this morning. That's why I didn't want you guys

to hurt him, he was just overly emotional. He and his father were close. I told him I'd see him in
a few days because I'm sure we'll see each other at the funeral. I need to be there for Charlie.
Billy was Charlie's best friend." He nodded and then leaned down to look in the gift bag that
Jacob had left.

"It's a bear." He said with a note of distaste. I followed his gaze and gasped, grabbing the bear
out of the bag. "Bella?"

"It's not just a bear." I said, tears forming in my eyes. "He's my bear." Edward pulled back and
looked down at me. "When my mom left, I started to have nightmares. It wasn't an easy time for
me. Jacob spent every penny he had saved from working the previous summer and had this bear
made for me. It plays the lullaby my mom used to hum to me when she'd put me to bed. I gave it
to Jacob when I left for college. I guess you could say for something to remember me by." I
sighed. "Poor Jake."

"That doesn't mitigate the fact that he assaulted you." Edward said softly, pulling me back
against his chest. I could tell that he thought Jacob was dangerous, but I knew that he wasn't. He
was upset about his father, and about our deteriorating friendship. He was jealous that Edward
had everything he wanted. And I'm absolutely sure that Edward hated Jacob just as much as
Jacob hated him. I would have to make him understand that while Jacob may have my past, he
has my future.

"He didn't assault me, he was just overly emotional. Jake would never actually hurt me." I said,
holding the bear. "I'm going to put this up on a shelf in Elizabeth's room. I'll be back down in a
minute. Go back to the party." I walked in the house and up the stairs holding the bear. Why
would Jacob give this to me? Why wouldn't he keep it for himself? Maybe he thought it would
help Elizabeth sleep, like it helped me sleep. Maybe he just wanted to forget. Poor Jake. Why do
things have to be so complicated? I put the bear on the far shelf facing the door. I would bring it
down and let her play with it when she was older and could take care of it. This bear has always
been really important to me.

The party was spectacular. Alice really was a miracle worker. Everything was coordinated –
decorations, plates, balloons, even the cake. We had one cake for everyone to enjoy, and then a
special little cake for Elizabeth to enjoy – or destroy would be more to the point. After the guests
had left, and she was absolutely covered with frosting, I took her up for a bath. She played in the
tub with her toys, splashing me and laughing. My top was soaked by the time she was finished.
Rookie mistake, I thought to myself as I quickly took it off and threw it in the hamper. I didn't
want to leave her to get another shirt, so I took her into the nursery and started getting her ready
for bed in my bra and jeans. Once she was dressed, I laid her down and walked into the hall.
Edward was there, having finished cleaning up downstairs.

"You look cold." He mused, his eyes dark.

"Do I?" I asked, confused.

"Shall I warm you?" he asked, stepping forward and pressing his palms against my still damp

bra. I felt his warm hands on my breasts, and blushed.

"Oh." I said, realizing how he would think I was cold. "I think I'd rather like for you to warm me
up." I giggled. "Wait. What about Jazz?"

"He left with Alice. They're going on their date. I would be…surprised if he made it back here
tonight." He said with a wan smile.

"You really think so?" I asked, surprised. "I didn't think Alice was a 'sleep with him on the first
date' kind of girl."

"I think all the rules have been thrown out between these two. I've honestly never seen anything
like it." He laughed softly. Then he put his hands on either side of my face, and kissed me
heartily. I moaned into his lips. He kissed my neck, and started to move down to my breasts
when I whispered. "Not in front of Libby… Bedroom…" He laughed, picking me up and
carrying me to our room.


I'm thinking about doing a related 'outtakes' kind of story which fills in some fluff. I have
Spring Break mostly written, and that would fall into here. Another one I'm thinking about is
Alice & Jasper's date. You know - stuff related to the story, but not necessarily essential. Let
me know what you think.

Cheers,

- DefinatelyStaying


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Chapter: 15


Then he put his hands on either side of my face, and kissed me heartily. I moaned into his lips.
He kissed my neck, and started to move down to my breasts when I whispered. "Not in front of
Libby… Bedroom…" He laughed, picking me up and carrying me to our room.

Chapter 15 – Déjà Vu

Edward POV

When I saw her standing in the hall in just that lacy bra and her jeans, her nipples hard – I
couldn't help the wave of lust that came over me. I set her down in front of our bed and closed
the door. I think for the first time since moving into this house, we were about to test the

soundproofing that the agent boasted about. I didn't want to wake Elizabeth, but in that moment I
wanted nothing more than to hear Bella screaming my name. As she bent over the end of the bed
to pick up a discarded shirt, I lost all measure of self control. I growled, and came up behind her.
I pressed my hard erection against her as I wrapped my arms around her waist. She responded by
grinding her hips back against mine. I pushed her down so that her chest was against the bed, and
she was bent over the edge. "Don't move." I said gruffly in her ear, making her shiver. I swiftly
unbuttoned and pulled her jeans and underwear down to her knees and ran my hands up the
backs of her thighs. She whimpered and pushed her hips back. My hands continued to travel up
her body, and I quickly unhooked her bra and pushed it forward so that it slid down her arms.
She lifted her hands quickly, and threw it on the floor. I moved my fingers to the front of her
body, tracing non-descript patterns on her stomach. She moaned and ground her hips against me
again.

I pulled her jeans to her ankles, and told her to step out of them. Then I pulled her up and pressed
my body against her and said to her in a low voice "Do you like the feeling of your naked body
against my clothed one? Does it make you feel vulnerable?" I pulled her ear lobe into my mouth,
and ran my hands over her breasts to make the point. She moaned her ascent. I pulled one hand
away quickly to sweep her hair from her neck and then planted open mouthed kisses on the
junction of her neck and shoulder. She pushed her head back onto my shoulder, giving me better
access. "You feel so good against me like this. Do you feel how hard I am for you?" I asked,
pressing my hips forward against her again. She moaned again and nodded. "Do you feel how
badly I want you?" I pinched both of her nipples and she groaned loudly. "Like that, do you?" I
asked in a low husky tone. Finally, she spoke.

"Yes, Edward." She breathed "Please stop teasing me." I spun her and laid her down on the edge
of the bed and pulled her legs over my shoulders.

"Can't I tease you just a little longer? Maybe with my mouth?" I asked, slyly and ducked my
head in between her thighs.

"Oh God, Edward…" she moaned, pushing her hips up towards my mouth.

"What is it that you want, Bella?" I asked, smiling up at her. She whimpered, rolling her hips.
"Tell me, Bella. What do you want me to do to you?"

My shy little wife looked down into my eyes and said "I want you to make me cum all over your
face." Then her head fell back on the bed, but not before she registered my look of shock - and
certainly not before I registered her deep blush. I chuckled to myself at her boldness and ran my
finger along the folds of her wet sex.

"You are so wet for me." I told her, my erection now painfully hard at the thought.

"Please, Edward." She breathed, pushing her hips off the bed. "I love it when you touch me like
this. Please…" I opened her with my fingers and thrust my tongue into her warm wet folds. Her
pleas had made me come completely undone. To hear her practically beg for me to touch her was
more than I could stand. I registered dimly that her hands had fisted themselves into the blankets

and that she was moaning unrestrained. Her hips were thrusting softly against my face. Her body
had reacted to my touch, and was instinctively moving to achieve its goal. She began to tremble
at the intensity of the sensations. I teased her with my fingers as well as my tongue and she
shuddered. "Don't stop.. Please, Edward… I'm so close…" she cried out as my fingers moved
into her faster. I could feel her body start to tense around me, her thighs on my shoulders
quivered and relaxed in the same rhythm as she tensed and relaxed around my fingers. Then,
suddenly, her muscles locked and her back arched. She cried out incoherently as her orgasm hit
her. I continued teasing her with my tongue until her muscles started to relax and she lay limp on
the bed.

"Wow, Edward…" she whispered, her arm over her face. I laughed and picked her up, laying her
on the pillows and then lying beside her. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in
my chest, still panting. "There's only one thing wrong…" she sighed.

"What's that, love?" I asked, pulling back to look at her.

"You're still wearing too many clothes." She giggled. I jumped up from the bed and stripped
quickly. Still standing next to the bed, I looked down at her.

"Better?" I asked with a wink. She sat up quickly on the side of the bed and pulled me towards
her. She stroked me softly with her hands, and looked up into my eyes.

"You tell me." She said with a wicked smirk and then took me into her mouth. I shuddered as the
pleasure coursed through me.

"Oh God, Bella…" I moaned and she pulled me deeper into her mouth. My hands went
instinctively to her hair, not guiding – but just for the feeling of intimacy it brought. I pulled her
hair back from her face, and watched myself slide in and out. I couldn't watch for long. I didn't
want the feeling to end so soon. But I couldn't get the images out of my head - the image of her
lips around me, the image of her shuddering orgasm a moment before. My hips began to move of
their own volition, and I groaned. "That feels so fucking good, baby…" She giggled and the
vibrations over me in her mouth were incredible. "What?" I asked, trying to breathe.

"Your language goes straight to hell when you're turned on." She giggled again. "It… It turns me
on." She said sounding a little sheepish.

"You're kidding me?" I asked in blank shock. "I've tried so hard to restrain myself, and you…
like it?" She nodded. I climbed onto the bed, resting my back against the headboard. I held my
arms out to her and said "Come here, my Bella." She straddled over my lap, and I pulled her to
me so that my mouth was next to her ear and said in a low hard voice "I want you to fucking ride
me Bella. I want to watch your face while you cum …" I heard her sharp intake of breath and
then I positioned myself at the entrance to her wet sex. She felt me there and slid down onto me.
My head fell onto her shoulder and we both moaned together as I felt every inch of myself inside
her. Then my hands went to her hips as she started to move. I looked up at her. "You're so
beautiful." I said earnestly. She rolled her hips against me, her movements almost hesitant. After
a few minutes she smiled down at me, and I got it. "Harder, Bella…" I moaned as I pulled down

on her hips. "Fuck me harder… Please, Bella…" Her hands went to the headboard, and she
slammed her hips against mine. "Yes.." I cried out at the sensation. I thrust my hips up against
her in time with her movements, and her head fell back. My fingers slid up her thigh and then
into her sex, teasing her. She moved perceptibly faster against me. I was so close now, and I
wanted her to go with me. "I'm so fucking close.." I said in her ear. "I'm gonna…" I groaned
loudly. "Cum with me Bella, cum hard baby." I cried as I felt my orgasm tear through me. She
said loudly into my shoulder "Oh, God.. Edward.. Oh, God.." and then screamed my name as her
orgasm hit her.

"I love you.." she said finally catching her breath.

I laughed softly, and held her close to me. "I love you too, you naughty girl." She giggled.

Bella POV

We made love twice more before finally collapsing into a deep sleep just as the sun came up. All
too soon we were woken again by the sounds of Elizabeth getting up. Since we had breakfast
with his parents this morning, we both groaned and I trudged downstairs for coffee while Edward
got Elizabeth up. When we were both sitting at the breakfast bar while Elizabeth sat in her high
chair, Jasper came in through the front door – with Alice in tow. They were both smiling widely.

Edward looked up at Jasper with a mocking smile and said "Well, I noticed on my way down
that your bed hadn't been slept in. That must have been some date. It looks like you two had a …
nice evening." He didn't look angry, just… disappointed maybe? He and Alice were close, and I
think it surprised him that she would sleep with Jasper on the first date.

Alice's grin widened. "We had a very nice evening, big brother." She said in her sing-song voice,
and wrapped her arms around Jasper's waist.

"Do you want him to kill me?" Jasper asked her incredulously. Then he looked at Edward.
"Dude, I didn't sleep with your sister. We stayed up talking and watching movies, and then fell
asleep on the couch."

"Jazz!" Alice whined. "What we do is none of my brother's business."

"I realize that, sweetheart." He said, kissing her on the forehead. "But Edward is one of my
closest friends, and I don't want him to think that I don't respect him, or you. I care too deeply
about you to screw this up. While I know we don't need Edward's approval for our relationship,
I'd like to have it. Bating him isn't going to help that." He wrapped his arms around her, and
stroked her face. She looked up at him smiling.

"I know. I just like to mess with him." She said, giggling.

He looked at Edward then, the question burning in his eyes. Is this okay?

Edward stood and walked over to them. He held out his hand to shake Jasper's. "I've known you

for a long time, man. I trust you to take care of her. Just remember, I am a fully qualified
physician though. If you hurt her, I'll have no problems making it look like an accident."

"Edward!" Alice said, shocked. Then Edward grinned at her, and winked. She giggled. "Good
God, Edward. You're a little creepy sometimes, you know that?" She shook her head. "You two
need to get a move on if we're going to meet mom and dad. I'll get Libby ready – I love to dress
her. She's like my own little Baby Barbie." I sighed and went upstairs to dress.

We had a beautiful breakfast with Carlisle and Esme. When we finally got home, Jasper hooked
up his WII to our TV downstairs and asked Alice if she wanted to play. Edward had to head to
his office for a little while to get things set up for the start of the new term, and I took Libby up
for her afternoon nap. I sat in the rocker in the corner, and held her even after she fell asleep. She
was so beautiful, and so sweet. She was finally starting to bond with me, and we were
comfortable with each other. A week ago, she never would have let me put her down for her nap
without Edward. I was going to fall asleep if I didn't get out of this chair soon.

I laid her in the crib and went back downstairs. Jazz had just closed the front curtain because the
glare on the TV was making it hard to see the game. I stood behind them, just watching. It was
hilarious to see two adults playing Dance Dance Revolution. They were jumping around on those
pads, laughing and trying to outdo the other. As I watched the screen, and listened to the
thumping music, I started to feel dizzy. There was a funny ringing in my ears as the light from
the screen flashed across my eyes. The last thing I remember seeing was the horrified look on
Alice's face as I went down.

Edward's POV

My phone rang while I was finishing up the changes to this term's syllabus. It was Alice's
ringtone, so I opened it quickly and said "Hello, wonderful sist…"

"Edward!" she said, her voice full of raw panic.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked, my heart rate accelerating wildly.

"It's Bella! She's having some kind of seizure. I don't know what to do.. Jazz called an
ambulance." She panted out the words, obviously terrified.

"It's okay Alice, don't panic. Clear all of the furniture away from her, so she can't hurt herself on
it. Then try to put a pillow from the couch under her head." I heard her screaming at Jazz to
move the furniture, and she said she'd grab a pillow from the couch.

"Okay." She said, a little calmer. "We have her on a pillow, and the furniture is out of the way."

"Try to turn her on her side in case she starts to vomit." I said, racing to my car now. "I'm almost
to the car. I'll be there soon."

"Edward, don't leave me. We can't get her on her side, she's jerking around… Jazz, get the door –

it's got to the paramedics." She yelled at him.

"Honey, I'm not leaving you. I'll stay right here on the phone. I'll meet you at the hospital.
Where's Elizabeth?" I asked flying out of the parking structure. I didn't care about any kind of
traffic laws right now. My only thought was getting to Bella. What could have happened to make
her seize? Was there more damage than we thought from the accident? Why now?

"She's upstairs sleeping, thank God." Alice said softly.

"Okay, have Jazz ride in the ambulance with Bella. Can you get Libby together and bring her
down with you?" I asked just as softly.

"Yes. I can do that. They're getting her into the ambulance now. They've injected her with
something, and the seizure is stopping." She said, her voice trembling.

"Okay, I'll be at the hospital in a few minutes. Can you call mom and dad, Emmett and Charlie?"
I asked. I had to get to her and find out what was going on.

"Yes." She said in a small voice. "She's not going to…" she couldn't finish.

"Honey, Bella is going to be okay. She's not going to go back into the coma. Let's just see what
Dr. Weber says. I'm going to have her paged. I'm pulling into the parking lot now. Is she on her
way?" I asked not stopping to lock my car before running full speed for the emergency room
doors.

"Yes, I'm getting Libby ready now. I'll see you soon." And I closed my phone as I hit the ER
doors with a sick feeling of déjà vu.


Please note that I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. The information I'm getting on
seizures and neurological damage are coming from reliable sources on the internet. If you are
in the medical field, and I have screwed something up – take comfort in the fact that Bella is a
work of fiction, and so is her injury. Thanks!


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Chapter: 16


"Yes, I'm getting Libby ready now. I'll see you soon." And I closed my phone as I hit the ER
doors with a sick feeling of déjà vu.

Chapter 16 – Long Day

Edward POV

I ran flat out to the reception desk and saw, to my relief that I knew the woman behind the desk. I
told her that Bella was being brought in, and asked her to page Dr. Weber for me. She nodded,
looking a bit pale. I guess she's remembering that night, nearly a year ago too. There would be no
panic from me today; my only concern now was Bella. I still had privileges at this hospital, so I
went to the back and watched as they unloaded her from the ambulance. She was starting to
wake, looking around in a bit of a panic.

I held her hand, and told her to calm down that everything was okay. The paramedic looked over
and me and said "Sir, you can't be in here. They will send someone to get you after she's been
examined." Bella's eyes went wide, and the heart monitor they were hooking her into went wild.

"Bella, sweetheart, you need to calm down. Honey, I'm not going anywhere." I said to her,
stroking her hand. Then I looked at the paramedic and said in a calm voice "You'll find that I
can, actually. I'm Dr. Edward Cullen, and I'll be staying with my wife. She's been through a
traumatic time and she's frightened. Thank you for helping her." I said, holding my hand out to
him. He was taken aback, but shook my hand enthusiastically.

"No problem, Dr. Cullen." He said, bowing out of the room. I snickered to myself. It always
helps to have your father as the chief of staff. With that thought, my father came behind the
curtain.

"Dad!" I said, with a sigh of relief. "I'm really glad that you're here. I've already had her
neurologist paged."

"I was upstairs in my office when Alice called, so I thought I'd come and check on her." He said
softly, and then looked down at Bella. "Sweetheart, how do you feel now?"

"Uhmmm… My head hurts a little... I feel a little dizzy… And I'm not really sure how I ended up
in the hospital?" she asked. He nodded, jotting notes in her chart.

"Okay, now these questions are going to seem a little silly, but just answer them for me, okay?"
he asked, and she nodded. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Bella Cullen." She answered promptly.

"Good. Do you know where you are?" he asked.

"I'm in the emergency room." She said cautiously.

"Do you know why?" he asked gently. She shook her head. "What's the last thing you
remember?" he prompted as Dr. Weber came around the curtain.

"I put Elizabeth down for a nap, and then came back downstairs. Alice and Jasper were playing

on the Wii. I heard a funny ringing in my ears, and felt dizzy. I felt myself falling, and woke up
in the ambulance." He nodded and looked at Dr. Weber. She nodded indicating that we should
tell her what happened.

"Bella, honey, you've had a seizure." I said gently, squeezing her hand. Her heart rate increased a
little.

"You mean like epilepsy?" she asked, frowning.

"No, Bella." Dr. Weber interjected. "Most likely in your case it's from residual scar tissue from
the injury. You know how sometimes when you fall, it leaves a scar?" she asked. Bella nodded.
"The brain is the same way. We're going to get an MRI to see the extent of the scarring, but from
the results of your last MRI I don't think there is anything to be concerned about unless it
happens again." She squeezed Bella's other hand. "Now, you said that you were watching your
friends play the Wii?" Bella nodded. "How did you sleep last night, were you tired?" Bella
blushed, and I'm sure I did too.

My dad rolled his eyes at me. "Edward.. Bella… You are two married adults. You don't have to
be embarrassed about your nighttime activities." Bella giggled.

"Carlisle, you kind of do when you end up in the hospital." We all laughed at her observation.
Dr. Weber cleared her throat.

"Okay, so I'll take that as a 'yes, I was tired'." She smiled at Bella. "That's most likely what
triggered your seizure. So we'll talk about ways to prevent them in the future. Now, let's get you
to that MRI."

I watched as they wheeled Bella upstairs, and then sank into a nearby chair. Carlisle sat in the
chair next to me. "Edward, are you alright?" he asked.

"I should have known better dad. She's only been out of the hospital for a week. I'm a trained
physician." I sighed. "She could really have hurt herself today."

"Edward, for God's sake." He snapped, and I looked up. "There is no way you could have
predicted this. There is nothing wrong with wanting to show your wife love. I know it's been
longer than just while she was in the coma. You've found yourselves again. That is definitely
worth celebrating. Now, stop berating yourself and go check on your daughter. I'll let you know
when they bring her back down."

Bella POV

Dr. Weber checked the results from the MRI and told me that she didn't think we needed to be
overly anxious. There was some scar tissue present, but no more than when I left the hospital.
She said that I should follow a balanced diet, and get plenty of rest. If the seizures were to
continue, we would talk about medications.

Edward and I were on our way home now, so I had time to really think about today's events. A
full blown seizure… Right in the middle of the living room… What would have happened if I'd
been alone? Or holding Libby? I shuddered.

"What's wrong, love?" Edward asked, anxiously.

"I was just thinking about what would have happened if I'd been alone, or holding the baby." I
said softly. He shook his head.

"Well, Alice is taking a leave of absence from work. She'll be with you during the day, and then
I'll be with you at night. You won't be alone, sweetheart. We'll be with you until we're sure there
won't be any more seizures. I can't.. I can't risk anything happening to you." He said, his voice
clouded with emotion.

I brought his hand, entwined in mine, to my lips and kissed it softly. "I'm really glad that we can
talk, really talk, Edward. Before we would have shut each other out, but now I can tell you that
today scared me. I don't know what's happening inside my own head." I said with a small
tremble that he picked up on.

"Okay love, I won't lie. Today scared me too. I had to go into full blown doctor mode to keep
Alice calm, and keep myself from panicking. All I could think about was losing you again. I
thought my heart would stop when she said you'd seized." He said softly.

"You know what this means?" I said with a small smile.

"What's that?" he asked, with a quizzical look.

"We're going to have to keep it to one performance a night." I giggled. He rolled his eyes, and
then smirked at me.

"Well then, I'll just have to make sure each performance is a gala event." He said in a low
seductive tone, and flashed me that wide crooked grin.

"Oh my…" I said as we pulled up in front of the house. He was at my door in a flash opening it
for me. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Esme were already here. Alice and Esme had taken it upon
themselves to start dinner. Emmett and Jasper were unhooking the Wii. "Jazz!" I said when I
realized what he was doing. "You don't have to take that apart. You can play; this is your home
too."

To my surprise, and everyone else's it seems, Jasper walked over and wrapped his arms around
my waist. He put his head on my shoulder and said "No fucking way." I pulled back and looked
at him, shocked to see that there were tears in his eyes. "I never ever want to see anything like
that again." I hugged him back, and then led him to the couch. I sat next to him while Alice
crawled in his lap and put her head on his shoulder. Edward sat with me, holding my hand.

Just then, my cell phone beeped indicating that I had a voice mail message. Edward handed it to

me, and I checked the missed calls. I didn't recognize the number, so I went into my voicemail.

Bella? Honey, it's Jacob. I just got a call from Seth Clearwater. He said that he responded to a
call at your house, that you had some kind of seizure. I'm at the funeral home making
arrangements for dad right now. I can't… I can't think about this… Please just call me and tell
me that you're okay.

I sighed. Of all the paramedics to respond today, it had to be a friend of Jacob's. I didn't want to
talk to him right then, so I sent him a text instead.

I'm okay. I'm back at home. Please take care of your family and don't worry about me. I'll still
try to come to the funeral; I'll get the info from Charlie. – Bella

He responded a few seconds later with one of his own –

Thank God. I hope I see you there. Love you Bells. – Jake

I threw my phone into my purse. I didn't want to respond to that message. I'd never come up with
the right thing to say. I looked over at Edward; he was looking at me curiously.

"Apparently, one of the paramedics today was a friend of Jacob. He was worried about me. I told
him I was fine and would still try to make the funeral." I said, wishing for a nap.

"You should rest." He said, correctly interpreting my mood. He looked over at Alice. "Alice, can
you watch Libby for a while – I'm going to take Bella up to bed. She should rest, but I'm worried
about leaving her alone right now."

"Sure, Edward. Jazz and I will hang out down here with everyone. If these things happen when
she's super tired, I'll let her sleep all freaking day." She said with a worried glance down at
Jasper.

When my head hit the pillow, all I could think about was the comfort of the bed and his
protective arms around me. We were asleep within minutes.

I walked out of the cabin with Elizabeth in my arms. I looked around, but I didn't see anyone.
Why the hell were we in a cabin in the woods? Where was Edward? Had he left us here? I felt
the tears and the panic start to come. I called out for him, but no one came. I carried Elizabeth
into the woods, looking around wildly for signs of life. There was nothing.

I was sobbing now. Where was Edward? Why were we alone? I was so tired. I ran faster through
the trees trying to find Edward. Elizabeth started crying in my arms, 'dada dada' over and over. I
wish I knew where daddy was, baby, I said to her. Then, I felt it. As the sunlight flashed across
my eyes between the trees, I started to feel dizzy. I heard the familiar ringing in my ears. Oh
God, I thought, not now – not while Libby needs me and we're alone. I hit the forest floor with a
sickening thud.

I woke up screaming, alone in my bed. I started to panic, thinking he had left me again. I
screamed for him, but I couldn't hear anything over my sobbing. I sat up against the headboard
and pulled my knees up to my face. I put my head on them and covered it with my arms. I pulled
into the tightest ball that I could and cried out for him again. I started rocking. He was gone. He
left us alone.

He came flying through the door then, a panicked look on his face when he saw me curled up on
the bed and sobbing. "BELLA! Baby, what's wrong?" he said pulling me into his arms. At first I
fought.

"You left us… You left us, alone…" I sobbed, trying desperately to control myself.

Edward POV

"You left us… You left us, alone…"

I couldn't figure out what she was talking about. Of course I hadn't left them. I was right here. I
shook Bella, probably harder than I'd meant to.

"Bella, I'm right here. I haven't gone anywhere. Did you have a nightmare?" I asked, trying to
understand where this was coming from. Alice peeked in at that moment; she had heard Bella
screaming too.

"Is she alright?" she asked, tentatively.

"I think so. I think she just had a nightmare. Can you bring her some water?" I asked, and then
focused again on Bella. I put my hand under her chin, and pulled her face up to look at me.
"Bella, honey, take deep breaths. It's okay now… It was just a dream…" I said soothingly. Alice
returned with a glass, and I held it up to Bella's lips. She took the glass and drank slowly. She
finally started to calm down.

"Edward!" she cried suddenly, and flung herself into my lap. Alice took the water from her, and I
rubbed her back gently, waiting for her to talk to me. "Edward, I was so scared. Libby and I were
in the woods, we were all alone. I screamed for you, but you never came. Then I had a seizure
with her in my arms. You still never came. I thought you'd left us." She shook violently in my
arms.

"Bella. I will never ever leave you. Ever. You are my life. You and Elizabeth are everything to
me… I would never leave you alone and scared. You know that, don't you?" I asked, softly.

"I do, Edward. It was just so real." She said, starting to calm.

I held her for a few minutes more, and then said "Let's go downstairs and get you something to
eat. You have to be hungry, you've slept for hours." She nodded and followed me down the
stairs.

Sorry if I scared you, but a traumatic head injury resulting in coma is going to have some
lasting damage. She couldn't just wake up and have everything happy happy – that's not very
realistic.

As always – let me know what you think. We're starting coming to the close of the second act
now. Pretty soon will start the beginning of the end…


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Chapter: 17


I held her for a few minutes more, and then said "Let's go downstairs and get you something to
eat. You have to be hungry, you've slept for hours." She nodded and followed me down the stairs.

Chapter 17 – Out of Touch

Edward POV

It's been a week since the seizure and Bella is still so withdrawn. She sleeps for most of the day,
or at least lays there and pretends to sleep. When she's up, she doesn't want to hold Elizabeth or
join in on conversations. She just retreats into herself. She didn't even go to Billy Black's funeral.
She called Jacob and told him that she was sick. I called Dr. Weber, and she feels that Bella is
depressed – which I had already figured out, so that was a wasted call. What I can't figure out, is
why. It has to have something to do with the seizure. This didn't start until then. Knowing Bella,
she's blaming herself. It something she has no control over, so how can she?

I sent Libby home with Alice and Jasper tonight. Jasper's stuff is still here, but he spends most of
his time wherever Alice is. Generally, that includes sleeping over in the guest room. I wanted
time to really talk to Bella, and see if we can work through what she's feeling right now. I can't
imagine what she's going through, but I'm not going to let it come between us.

I worked on dinner, and set up the table with candles and flowers. It wasn't a grand gesture, I
wanted it to be more subtle this evening. When everything was ready, I went up to get Bella. She
was sitting on the bed, and staring blankly out the window. I sat down next to her, and put my
arm around her. "Love, dinner is ready." She nodded and swung her legs over the side. She stood
silently and held my offered hand while we went downstairs. She looked around when we got to
the table, and noticed we were alone. She also took in the candled and flowers, and then bolted
for the stairs. It wasn't until she got up the landing that I heard her cry. She slammed the door to
our bedroom so hard that a picture fell off the wall in the hall and shattered on the floor. What
the hell?

Once the shock wore off from her outburst, I ran up the stairs behind her. Not bothering to deal
with the mess in the hallway, I flung the door open and found her curled in a ball in the corner. I
dropped to my knees beside her, and she didn't look up. She just left her arms over her head. She
was shaking and crying, and I didn't know what to do to help her. "Bella?" I asked softly. Still
she didn't look up. "Bella!" I asked for forcefully, pulling her hands off of her head. She looked
up then, right into my eyes. She looked like a lost little girl, so pale and frightened. "Honey,
please… Please tell me what's wrong. Remember – no more hiding our feelings?" She sighed
and nodded, but didn't make any move from her current position. I knelt down in the floor next
to her, and put my hand on her leg.

"I think I should move back in with Charlie." She said slowly. This was the last thing I thought
she would say. It hit me so hard that I actually staggered back before falling to a sitting position.
What in the hell is she talking about… She can't… She can't leave me… We were finally
working things out.

"Bella, no. Wh…Why?" I said, my voice shaking.

"I'm damaged." She said in a small voice. "I can't be a wife to you, or a mother to our daughter. I
can't even hold her, bathe her, or feed her, Edward. I can't make love with my husband without…
You deserve someone whole. You and Elizabeth deserve to be happy." It broke my heart to hear
her talk about herself like this. She is everything I've ever wanted.

I picked her up off of the floor, and laid her on the bed. Sliding in beside her, I took her into my
arms. "Even if you were to leave me and move back in with Charlie, there would never be
anyone else. You would just be leaving me alone." She started to speak, but I stopped her. "I will
never love anyone the way that I love you. I cannot let you leave because you think I deserve
better, because there is no one better for me than you. I know that you're scared right now, that
you don't know what's happening with you and that you feel like you don't have control over
your own body. I can't imagine what that feels like. But I am not going to let you go through it
alone, and I refuse to let you take yourself away from me." And with that, the walls fell down
around her, and she wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm so scared, Edward." She whispered. "I'm not going to be normal ever again."

"Bella, love – listen to me." I said, stroking her face, holding her against my chest. "I can't
promise that it will never happen again. People live with full blown epilepsy every day, and they
are not broken or damaged. People have all kinds of neurological and physical challenges to deal
with, and we will deal with yours. No matter what happens, Bella, I just thank God every day
that you're here, and awake, and that you love me. You do love me?" I asked softly.

"Of course I do, Edward. I love you so much." She said, squeezing me tightly.

"Then the rest, we can deal with." I said simply, crushing her to my chest. There was no way I
was going to let her leave me over something like this. "Besides, if the situation were reversed –
would you let me leave?" She thought about that for a minute.

"Not in a million years." She said softly, before she kissed me. "I'd tie you to the bed and never
let you leave." She giggled.

"Would I be naked?" I murmured softly in her ear.

"Undoubtedly." She whispered back.

"Can we try that after dinner?" I asked, hopeful – trying to get her to laugh. She sighed.

"That might not be the best idea. What if something happened and you were tied naked to the
bed?" she asked, sadly – looking away from me and getting up.

"I have an idea about that." I said. "Let's go have a nice dinner, and we'll talk."

Bella POV

I feel better today, for the first time in a week. Edward and I finally sat and talked about how we
were feeling. I know that we hadn't talked before because we were still trying to get our heads
around what's happened. I still can't help but feel like some kind of nuisance to him though.
There are so many things that I can't do now that I did before. I can't drive for at least six months.
I can't go anywhere alone. I can't give Elizabeth a bath. I feel… helpless.

After we made love last night, we sat on the couch and drew up a list of things that I should and
shouldn't do for a while. We agreed to revisit this list after each seizure-free week. Edward was
confident that if I followed Dr. Weber's instructions that I wouldn't go through it again. I wasn't
so optimistic. There was something wrong with my brain. That's fairly serious. It's not something
that would ever heal. It's just something I was going to have to deal with.

We also talked about finding a support group, or support website for people with brain injuries.
Maybe I could find some help dealing with this. So, today I threw myself into research. He was
absolutely right. I was not alone. He might not understand what was going on with me, but I'm
sure other people might.

Two days, 394,000 google hits, and one blog website later and I've finally found my groove. I
found a website that supports people with all kinds of brain injuries, and I've joined in on
different discussions about seizures. It's nice to talk to other people who have experienced them,
and finding out their tricks to avoiding them. There are links to online medical journals dealing
with some of the issues we face. I've exchanged email addresses with several women who are
trying to balance out their neurological issues and motherhood. I found out that they experienced
the same hopelessness and loneliness that I had been going through. We talked about how they
came out of it, and started to feel more productive. I've also started an online blog. It's easier to
deal with what I'm feeling when I get it all out. Maybe one day I'll use this material to write a
book.

Edward called me down to dinner, and I stood up and stretched. Being able to make dinner was
on the short list of things I'd be able to do soon, but for now he and Alice were taking care of it.

They wanted to make sure I didn't stress myself out too much in the beginning. I went
downstairs, and as always asked if I could help. They both answered with a resounding 'NO', and
I sat at the table.

"Love, a box came for you today – it's in the living room." He said, not looking over.

"A box?" I asked, surprised. "I didn't order anything?" I went into the living room, and sure
enough there was a box with my name on the shipping label. I looked at the return address – it
was from DELL. DELL? This has to be a mistake. Or not. I turned around and Edward was
watching me. I raised one eyebrow at him, and he grinned unrepentant. "I'm guessing this isn't a
mistake, then?" I asked him. He shook his head. I sighed and opened the box. Sure enough, it
was a brand new fully loaded DELL XPS M1730 – in Sapphire Blue.

"The cable company will be coming out in a few days to install a new wireless network." He
said, coming over to me. "I didn't want you to have to be stuck upstairs when you wanted to
write, or chat with your friends. Now you can do it from anywhere." I set the laptop down and
walked over to my beautiful husband.

"Thank you so much, Edward." I said, honestly as I put my head on his chest. He wrapped his
arms around me, and held me close to him.

"You're not going to yell at me for spending money on you?" he asked incredulous. I shook my
head into his chest. "Good, because it's just as much for me as it is for you. Now I can spend
more time with you." I looked up at him, curious. "You can just sit on the couch, with your feet
in my lap and type away. I can rub your leg while I read a medical journal, or work on my
laptop." He said, indicating an identical box I hadn't noticed before at the end of the couch.

I squeezed him tighter around the middle. "I love you." I said softly.

"I love you too." He said, kissing me on top of the head. "Let's go have dinner. Alice isn't very
fond of our PDA." So, we walked into the kitchen in each other's arms. I started to say hi to Alice
and Jasper until I noticed their passionate embrace. Well, and the fact that he had his hand
underneath the front of her sweater. Thankfully they were standing behind Libby who couldn't
see them. She was happily dumping peas on her head.

Edward cleared his throat, and Alice and Jasper jumped apart looking a little sheepish. Alice
grinned at me and winked. "Well…" she said quickly. "I think now that dinner is ready, Jazz and
I are just going to go ahead and uhmm… head to my place." She giggled at the expression on
Jazz's face. It was a mixture of horror at being caught – literally with his hand in the cookie jar,
and her innuendo in front of Edward.

"Ugh…" Edward said with a grimace. "Really Alice, there are certain things I don't need to know
about your life – sex with Jasper is pretty much at the top of that list." I giggled as Jasper
blushed.

"Then I won't elaborate." She said grinning. "Come on Jazz, I think there is a little bit of that

Jell-O left in the fridge from last night…" She winked at him. "Oh dear lord…" he said under his
breath as they left the kitchen in a rush.


Yeah, I got a little excited over the laptop. I write software for a living – it's expected that I
would be a computer geek. :-)

I know - three updates in two days, you're happy now - yes? Sorry, I feel like I've been
neglecting you lately so while I was off sick - I worked on the story line. Nyquil does wonders
for your imagination.


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Chapter: 18


"Then I won't elaborate." She said grinning. "Come on Jazz, I think there is a little bit of that
Jell-O left in the fridge from last night…" She winked at him. "Oh dear lord…" he said under his
breath as they left the kitchen in a rush.

Chapter 18 – Settling In

Bella POV

Things have been progressing well since Edward and I talked. I haven't had a hint of a seizure
and I've been blogging daily. At first, I just blogged about my current trauma, but then I got into
my feelings over a lot of things I'd been thinking about lately – the custody debacle, my coma,
Edward's reaction to my pregnancy, and my relationship with Jacob. It felt good to get those
feelings out, and organize them so that I can study them better – figure out where to go from
here. Since the wireless network was installed last week, I am able to sit on the couch in comfort
and write until I'm out of ideas. Today, I'm blogging about Jacob.


Private Blog - January 18

It's been over two weeks since Jacob kissed me on the porch, and I'm still feeling uncomfortable.
I tried to pass it off to Edward as Jacob being emotional about his father, but I know it was more
than that. Deep down, I knew that Jacob had feelings for me before I ever met Edward – that's
one of the reasons we grew apart in college. I knew that I didn't have those same feelings for
Jacob, and I couldn't bear to hurt him. The kiss we shared at prom felt like kissing my brother, I
knew then that we could never have the kind of relationship that Jacob wanted. Then, I met
Edward at his parents' New Year's Eve party, and my whole life changed. I never knew that I
could feel like that about another person, or about myself. Edward makes me feel beautiful and

flirtatious, sexy – something I didn't think possible before.

I think I'm going to have to sever my relationship with Jacob. Edward would never make me
choose between his love, and Jacob's friendship – but that's in essence what Jacob did that day
in the hospital. He said that we couldn't be friends while I was with Edward. He said that he
would be there to pick up the pieces when Edward broke my heart. I don't think he realized that
it would be the other way around. It hurts that Jacob would disregard our friendship, but I have
Edward's love as a comfort.

The question is, do I call him and set up some time for us to meet to dissolve our friendship – or
do I just wait for his next call. I'm not looking forward to this discussion at all, and I hope that I
can have Edward or Alice with me. I'm not afraid of Jacob, but it's not something I want to go
through alone. I know that he's dealing with a lot because of the death of his father – so I'll wait
for him to call me. I don't want to make things worse for him. Plus, I feel guilty about not
attending the funeral. Edward would have been right there with me, but it was just too
dangerous. I didn't need that kind of scene at his father's funeral.


I posted the blog, sighed, and checked my email. Finally, I went into the kitchen to talk to Alice.
It was so good of her to take time off to stay with me. She is the best sister ever – I should talk to
Edward about getting her a present. She deserves that and so much more.

"Hey Ali. Hi Libby." I said brightly, kissing Elizabeth on the head. She was sitting in her high
chair playing with her afternoon snack.

"Hey Bella!" Alice chirped. She was pulling out the stuff to start dinner.

"Can I help?" I asked. "I'm sure there's something here that's on the good list." I sighed.

"Bella, honey – I know that it's frustrating. We just want to take care of you. Losing you for
those months was the hardest thing any of us ever went through. It's natural for us – especially
Edward – to be overprotective of you. But – I'm sure that peeling potatoes would be on the okay
list, don't you?" she giggled. "Besides, I need girl time."

"Do you?" I asked, smirking. "I thought you and Jasper were joined at the … well, hip would be
appropriate here, I suppose." She laughed, unashamed.

"I'm in love with him." She said in a rush, and then clamped her hands over her mouth.

"Alice!" I said, laughing. "You've only known him for, what… Two weeks? How can you make
that kind of declaration? Better yet – have you told him?" I asked her, wide-eyed.

"No, I haven't told him. I want to though." She sighed. "God, I've never felt like this before.
Never. I just feel a connection with him, Bells. It's like… we're magnets. Whenever I get near
him, I just feel this pull – this draw. I don't want to be away from him. It's kind of scary. I've
always been so… independent. And now I feel like my happiness depends on being near him.

What will I do if he doesn't feel the same way? Did it feel like this with Edward?" She sat down
in a chair at the table, and finally stopped rambling.

I closed my hands over hers. "Number one, yes it was like that with Edward. The worst part was
we were on the other side of the country from one another for that whole last semester. That
made it harder. We called, emailed, and text'd all the time. I thought for sure he was going to get
sick of me, or meet someone else – but we just had that connection. I knew that I didn't want to
be with anyone else". I smiled. "And then he came down for Spring Break, and he told me that
he loved me. We had known each other about 3 months, but had only spent two weeks in the
same state. So, I guess it was the same for us. Number two, I think Jasper feels the same way."

Her face lit up. "You really think so?" She asked, grinning. She started to bounce lightly in her
seat like the little kid she was deep down.

"Yeah, I do." I said. "But I think maybe you should let him tell you first. Jasper seems like the
shy type." I got back up and started peeling potatoes again. "I wonder if he's said anything to
Edward."

She quickly followed going back to dinner. "Would you find out for me?" She practically
bounced as she asked.

"Maybe." I said, evasively. "If it's something he tells me in confidence, I'm pretty sure I could go
to prison for telling you…" She laughed, and together we finished up dinner.

Edward POV

I stopped and picked up the refill of Bella's script at the hospital pharmacy before heading home.
Dr Weber had given her a low dose antibiotic to stave off infection after she got out of the
hospital. Being in a coma, her resistance had been lowered. Now, we just wanted to make sure
she didn't get sick and risk triggering another seizure.

Bella had been better the last few days. I think now that she knows that even if she were to
sacrifice herself, and leave that I would never want anyone else. And what I told her was true – I
couldn't love anyone else the way I loved her. I can't believe that she thought I could. She never
did see herself clearly, and now that she thinks she's a burden – the likelihood of that has
decreased. That's why my plan for Valentine's Day is so important now. I really want to show her
how truly special she is to me.

I walked into the kitchen to Bella and Alice laughing like school girls. It warmed my heart to see
Bella so light-hearted. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. After
nuzzling and kissing her neck softly, I whispered "I missed you, love." She turned, and grabbed
my hand leading me out of the kitchen. I looked at her, puzzled. Alice giggled. We got to the
foot of the stairs leading up to the bedrooms and she stopped on the first step and turned, now the
same height. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and pressed her body against me. She
looked into my face, and then proceeded to kiss me – softly at first, but then with a fierce
intensity. As her lips molded against mine over and over, I felt my body start to respond. She

must have too, because she pulled away slowly.

"I missed you too. Sorry about that." She whispered sheepishly. "Alice and I started talking about
love and soul mates, and then seeing you made me want to kiss you silly." She hugged me
tightly. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Me either." I said, holding her close. "Let's not find out, okay?"

"Oh yes. Your dear sister wants to know if Jasper has said anything to you about his feelings for
her." She said, matter-of-factly, batting her eye lashes at me. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Well… I could tell you, but I seem to remember something Jasper and I learned in college…
Something about bros before…" I said, trying not to laugh at the horrified expression on her face
before she clamped her hand over my mouth.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! If you don't want to know how intimately comfortable the living room
couch is tonight, you will not finish that sentence." She said with a growl in her voice. That was
all it took, and I lost it – busting out laughing.

"You look so incredibly cute when you're outraged like this…" I said, kissing softly up her neck
to her ear. "You know that I wouldn't… And as for what Jasper may or may not have told me? I
think they need to work this out on their own. She never let us cheat like that." She nodded, and
smiled.

As January turned into February, I started to become more confident about Bella's health. She
hadn't had a recurrence of the seizure, and she'd started coming to the gym with me. We started
out slowly, never letting her get too tired. We also worked in a quiet, well lit room to minimize
the chance of a seizure trigger. Bella was becoming a little more confident too, but neither of us
was confident to the point of recklessness. The list was still in full effect. She couldn't do
anything that would jeopardize herself or Elizabeth.

Bella was also keeping up with her online support, moving more into a leadership role on the
boards now – helping 'newbies' become more acclimated with the process. She also blogged
every day. Some of my favorite times now included just sitting on the couch being close to one
another and working on our laptops. We didn't need to be talking, just being close was enough.
And I loved to watch her facial expressions while she worked out what she wanted to say.
Whether it was on a message board, in a chat window, in an email, or on her private blog – she
would always bite her lip while she was thinking, or furrow her brow when she was trying to
decide how to phrase something. It made my heart swell as I watched her. She was working so
hard to deal with everything that has happened. Right now, she was working on her blog, I was
almost sure of it. She was typing in one continuous rhythm, biting her lip from time to time.

Bella POV


Private Blog – February 7

I've been talking to Alice all week about what to get Edward for Valentine's Day. So much has
happened, and he's really stepped up to the challenge of being my husband. I mean my accident,
and resulting brain injury seem to be taking 'for better or worse' to an extreme. But he continues
to make me feel beautiful, loved, and appreciated. It's taken a while, but now when he says that
he will 'never love anyone like he loves me' I know that he means exactly that. I don't know why I
thought that he would just let me walk out and move back in with Charlie – even though it would
have been easier for him. He loves me unconditionally – probably to his detriment.

All of the gifts that I have thought of feel woefully inadequate compared to what he's done for me
over the last year. The closest thing that I can think of is something for him to wear – something
to remind him every time he looks at it that he is loved and appreciated. Just the way he makes
me feel. I want him to know that I'll never leave him – that I will love him for an eternity or more.
Maybe a bracelet inscribed with that very sentiment. A silver bracelet that is simple yet elegant-
just like him. I'll have to talk to Alice about taking me shopping tomorrow. I want to make sure
it's ready in time.

I have already talked to Esme about taking Elizabeth that night. I mean it doesn't take a rocket
scientist to figure out what's going to happen that night, but I just want to be prepared. I'm sure
she will have Jane too, so that Emmett and Rose can… feel the love, too. Usually, Alice would
take them – but this year, I think she's going to be otherwise engaged. She and Jasper have been
getting so incredibly close – it wouldn't surprise me at all if he proposed. After that fateful
meeting in the kitchen, it only took a week for Jasper to confess his love for her. And of course,
she did the same. They've been disgustingly lovey-dovey ever since. It's enough to put Edward
and I in a diabetic coma – oh, that was probably a bad word choice. But seriously, I couldn't be
happier for them. It's nice that they've found someone to make them happy, and whole, and
complete – like I've found in Edward.


I looked up to find Edward watching me, and I smiled. "Like what you see?" I teased. He quirked
up one eyebrow.

"Bella, baby – you have no idea." He said, smirking. "Love, I was thinking – next Saturday is
Valentine's Day, and I wanted to ask Esme to take Elizabeth for the night. I have something
special planned for you. Is that okay?"

"No, don't ask Esme to take her." I said, feigning a slight frown.

His head shot up and his eyes pierced mine. "Bella?'

"I already asked her, and she agreed." I giggled. Messing with Edward was far too much fun not
to do when the occasion calls for it.

"Nice Bella, give me a heart attack why don't you?" He said sarcastically. "I really thought for a
minute that you didn't want to spend Valentine's Day with me." He pouted. I set my laptop down,
and he did the same, and then I crawled into his lap. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his nose,

and then finally his lips.

"I want to spend every day with you. Why would Valentine's Day be any different?" I asked, as I
moved to his neck, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me.


For those of you who have an author alert on me - I'm sorry about the veritable flood of
emails yesterday. As it said in the A/N at the beginning - I had actually a couple of underaged
people who wanted to read my stuff, and didn't feel the need to give them more of an
education than they already had. A Whole New Life - Censored Version is the same exact
story after a lemon extraction. New chapters will be posted at (relatively) the same time.

And yes, as hinted above - the next chapter will be Valentine's Day.


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Chapter: 19


"I want to spend every day with you. Why would Valentine's Day be any different?" I asked, as I
moved to his neck, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

Chapter 19 – Valentine's Day

Bella POV

"Thanks for doing this, Alice. I know that it can't be easy to be my babysitter and my chauffer." I
sighed. I really don't know how much more babying I can take. I've always been a fairly
independent person, and now I can't even drive myself. I think that may be what I miss the most
about my new … restrictions. I can't just pick up and go to the store, or the dry cleaners.
Everything had to be planned. Everything has to be a damned appointment. I let out a small
growl of annoyance.

"Bella, I had to go out this morning too. It's really not a big thing. We'll pick up Edward's gift,
drop Elizabeth off at mom and dad's, and run a few errands. We'll get back in plenty of time to
be ready for the guys to pick us up tonight. I nodded. "Honey, do you want to talk about it?" she
asked gently. I shook my head, still glaring out the window. I didn't want Alice to feel that I was
ungrateful for what she's sacrificing for me. As much as I wish it weren't, that's just the way
things were for me now.

We pulled up to the jewelry store in silence, and I unstrapped Elizabeth from her seat. With a
few seizure free weeks behind me, I now felt more comfortable caring for her. Once we were
inside, the women behind the counter recognized me, and immediately pulled the box from a

drawer under the counter. "Oh, Mrs. Cullen, it turned out beautifully!' she gushed. I nodded, and
she handed me the silver bracelet. I had decided on this gift because I wanted to renew and
solidify faith in Edward that we were in it for the duration. He was so terrified last year that I
was going to leave him because of his reaction to my pregnancy. Now, after what I said about
moving back in with Charlie in my breakdown and moment of weakness, I could see the panic
lingering in his eyes. So, this gift is a gesture to try and assuage that panic, that persistent fear
that I will leave him.

I took the bracelet out of the box, and inspected it. The front was inscribed with a beautifully
scripted and interlaced B and E joined by a small but flawless diamond – the symbol of eternity.
The back was inscribed with 'In aeternum et simper ' which is Latin for 'forever and always'. I
know that his wedding band is supposed to be the symbol that shows him that we will be
together forever, but I think maybe he needs something a little more after the events of the last
two years. Ours is a complicated situation which may call for an alternative course of action.

Handing it back to the sales woman, I told her it was perfect, and she wrapped it in beautiful
midnight blue and silver paper. I put the box in my bag, and after dropping Libby off with her
grandparents, headed back home to start getting ready. It was nearly 3:00 now, and Edward
would be home by 5:00. I wasn't one of those girls who need to start getting ready for a date
when the sun comes up, and thankfully neither is Alice. She's much more 'girly' than I am, but
thankfully even she has her limits. We did our own make-up, and each other's hair and were just
finishing up the accessories when Edward came in downstairs. Jasper had a slightly later lecture
time, and would be picking Alice up at 6:00.

"Last chance, Ali – are you going to fess up and tell me what he has planned?" I asked, half
heartedly. I was never one for surprises, but lately I found that I didn't mind so much. When your
life is planned down to 30 minute increments, a romantic surprise by your husband can be a
pleasant distraction. He is a doctor, and he knows what is best for me, so I can just sit back and
enjoy whatever he has in mind.

"No way." Came a velvet voice from the doorway. "I am going to take you out, spoil you, and
have my wicked way with you tonight." He grinned.

"Well, since you put it that way…" I said, fanning myself. He laughed and swooped over to take
me in his arms. He kissed me as he dipped me slightly.

"You look good enough to eat, Mrs. Cullen." He murmured, placing soft kisses onto my throat.

"And… that's my cue to go pack up the champagne and strawberries for my night with Jazz."
Alice said laughing and backing out the door, closing it softly behind her.

"Hello, love." Edward said softly.

"Mmmmmm… Hello, Edward." I replied against his hair. "I missed you."

"I have been looking forward to this all week." He said, nibbling my ear. "And you do look

positively radiant this evening. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw you from the door."

"Did you now?" I asked, grinning.

"Yes. All the blood was rushing to my lower… extremities." He said low, excited in my ear. "I
can't wait to make love to you later. We're going to take our time, and make it last." He moaned
softly. "That's why I wanted to pick you up so early."

"Well then, Mr. Cullen. If you'd like to see the results of the Victoria Secrets charges yesterday, I
suggest we get started." I whispered, smiling. He moaned again – a low sound in the back of his
throat.

"Can't I peek?" he said, trying to pull my dress up my legs. "Or maybe we could change the
itinerary of the evening, and delay our departure for a little while?" His hand rested on my inner
thigh, tracing unrecognizable patterns with his fingertips.

I moaned softly and in a deliberately low and rough voice said "Mmmmm… Oh God Edward…"
His hand froze of my thigh. "I want you…" and then in a normal voice continued "to stop being a
tease, and get up so we can go." I held back a giggle at the expression on his face.

"I'm a tease?" he said, grabbing my hand and laying it gently on his lap. Then he stood up and
after adjusting his pants, pulled me from the room.

Edward POV

I wanted her so badly in that moment that it took everything I had to pull her from our bedroom.
I knew that Alice would figure it out if we didn't leave our bedroom before she and Jazz left the
house, and I really did have something special planned. But God, I love listening to her when
she's turned on – apparently even when I know she's faking.

After saying goodbye to my sister and wishing her a nice evening, we walked hand in hand to the
garage. I held open the door to the Vanquish, and helped her inside. I told her again how
beautiful she looked as we were waiting for a cable van to pass. She cocked her head to the side,
and grinned at me. I looked at her questioningly. "What?"

"They must be having a sale on pay-per-view porn or something." She giggled. "That's the third
installer van I've seen this week!"

"Hmmmm…" I said, pretending to be pensive. "I'll have to look into that. Maybe we could stock
up." She laughed outright at that, and I leaned over and murmured in her ear "Would you like to
watch dirty movies with me, you naughty girl?"

She ran her hand over my chest, stroking lightly. "Only if we get to have ice cream sundaes
while we watch." She said matter-of-factly.

I chuckled. "Why is that?" I had to know what kind of track her mind had taken here.

"So I can pour chocolate syrup over your most sensitive areas and lick you clean." She purred
softly in my ear. I moaned at the thought.

"You are a very dangerous creature, Bella." I said in a low voice.

"And just think - the evening hasn't really even started yet…" she giggled, scooting back to her
own seat and putting her seat belt back on.

"You're going to be the death of me." I mumbled, and pulled the car out onto the road.

The drive to the hotel took about forty-five minutes. During that time, I think Bella tried
everything she could think of to make me spontaneously combust. In the back of my mind, I had
the idea that she's just trying to control what she can of her life and teasing me makes her feel
powerful. But the man in me, the primal instinct that wanted her like she wanted me wasn't in the
mood to complain.

We got checked in quickly, and I made sure that all of my special requests had been done before
we made our way to the suite. I had reserved this suite specially last month to make sure that I
could surprise her with her gift. When we walked into the suite and she saw the grand piano in
the front room, she gasped. "Edward, this room must have cost a fortune! My God, there is a
baby grand in here." She whispered.

Bella POV

This room is amazing. I can't believe he did this. Okay, yes I can. But I wonder why he wanted
this room; it seemed at the desk that he asked for this particular suite.

"I thought we could have dinner first." Edward said with a smile when a knock sounded at the
door. He answered it and two stewards entered with a tray laden cart. They set about the task of
preparing the small table in the room with flowers, candles, food, and wine. It was a beautiful
arrangement.

Edward tipped them as they left, and then gently took my hand – leading me to the table. He
didn't let go of my hand as we sat down, but squeezed it and I looked up into his eyes. "I am so
thankful to have you in my life, Bella. I love you so much." Edward said his eyes bright. I smiled
at him, knowing that he meant it though I couldn't imagine why. But then I thought about his
presence in my life and understood. Even if he were damaged, as I am, I would still be thankful
for him – and my love for him would still be just as strong.

"You and Elizabeth are everything to me. I love you." I told him softly. "Oh… And thank you
for taking that bit about 'for better or worse' so seriously." I teased. He grinned. "Can I give you
your present now?" I asked him, and he grinned. I got up and grabbed the small wrapped box
from my bag and handed it to him. He opened it excitedly and then stopped. He looked at me
curiously and then pulled out the bracelet. There were tears in his eyes as he turned it over to
read the inscription.

"It's Latin." I said softly. "It means forever and always. It will be Edward and Bella – forever and
always. So, whenever you're worried or we argue – you will have that to remind you of forever."
He nodded, seemingly too emotional to speak. He stood and then quickly dropped to his knees in
front of me. He reached up and cradled my check with his palm, kissing me softly… reverently.
As our lips parted, he murmured "my Bella…" and then returned to his chair.

"I have a gift for you as well." He said, looking at me. "But I can't give it to you until after
dinner." I quirked one eyebrow up at him, and he laughed. "Oh, you'll get that too, but really
that's more a present for me." He said winking at me. "You'll see in a little while." He picked up
the wine bottle and poured two glasses.

"I called Dr. Weber a few days ago." He said as he handed me the glass. "She said a glass or two
would be okay, but to be careful and sleep well." I was touched by his thoughtfulness. We ate in
relative silence and the meal was excellent. I couldn't imagine what kind of gift he'd come up
with, or why he couldn't just hand it to me. This was the one time in the past few weeks that I
was glad I couldn't drive – at least I knew he hadn't bought me a car. I wouldn't put it past him.
He'd been hinting before the seizure.

When we'd finished, he loaded the dishes back onto the cart and wheeled it to the hall. After
calling down for them to pick it up, he took my hand and led me to the piano. Handing me a box,
he started to test the pitch. I looked at him questioningly, and then opened the gift. There were
two items in the box. The first was a framed piece of composition paper. It looked professionally
done. My hand shot up to cover my mouth as I gasped. The top of the piece read:

Bella's Lullaby

by: Edward A. Cullen

The second item was a burned CD with the same title and artist LightScribed into it. It too
looked professionally done. When I looked at Edward, he started into my eyes and started to
play. It was beautiful. It started out softly, and then grew sweeter as the song progressed. It was
about love, and passion. Tears were streaming down my face by the time he'd finished.

"The melody came to me the night we met. I've been toying with the song every since. I finally
finished it while you were… sleeping. Working on it made me feel closer to you." He said softly.
"I'd never written anything of my own before, but since then I've written a few things – including
a lullaby for Elizabeth. You inspire me." He kissed my hand, and then held it to his face.
"Obviously in the frame is the first page of the sheet music. The CD contains my recordings of
everything I've written, and my rendition of some of your favorites."

"I don't know what to say." I replied, through the lump in my throat. "Thank you so much." I
kissed him – softly at first, but then building. I reached behind me and unzipped my dress. It fell
to the floor, pooling at my feet. He broke the kiss gently and stepped back; looking at the
undergarments I'd alluded to earlier. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath – and then
picked up a silk robe from the bed behind him. There was another robe on the bed for him.

"Why don't you go change?" he asked shifting his pants, trying to hide his obvious excitement. "I
have to set up something out here." He cleared his throat and I giggled.

"Sure." I said lightly.

"Please, come back in just the robe." He added with a wink. I smirked at him, and took the robe.
When I came back from the bathroom, Edward was standing in front of a newly erected padded
table in his robe. He turned to face me and smiled.

"With all of the stuff that's been going on lately, I thought you could use a nice massage." Then
he picked me up and set me on the table. He grinned as he pulled the tie on my robe and it fell
open. "Lie down on your stomach, please." He said as he pulled the robe off. "I've turned up the
heat in the room so that you won't be cold."

I leaned forward and kissed his neck, moving up slowly to his ear. He moaned softly as I said in
a low soft voice "I have no doubt that I will be anything but cold." Then I turned and lay down
on my stomach, naked on the padded table. My nipples hardened the second they touched the
cold surface of the table. I groaned softly and stretched out.

He grabbed a bottle with some kind of oil and applied it to his hands, rubbing them together to
warm them up, and then he started the massage. It was heavenly, I have to admit. He massaged
my neck, my shoulders, my back, my arms, and my legs. His touch was gentle, but strong as he
rubbed the tension away. I was almost asleep when he started on the backs of my thighs. I shifted
slightly on the table and he asked tenderly, "Did I hurt you?"

I laughed. "No, it wasn't pain I was feeling, I can assure you."

"Really?" He said, sounding rather pleased with himself. "So you like this?" He asked in a low
voice as his hands continued higher. I moaned as he began to rub my buttocks. I squirmed on the
table as my arousal grew.

"Done on this side." He said softly in my ear. "Roll over." I rolled onto my back with his help.
My bones felt like jelly, and he made sure I didn't roll off the table. Then he started again with
my shoulders, then my arms and legs. He was steadfastly avoiding any area that I really wanted
him to touch. I arched my back as his hands massaged my legs. He chuckled and slid his hands
higher – over my hips, my stomach. He reapplied a little bit of oil on his hands and began
massaging my breasts. I moaned loudly as he rubbed the warm oil into my skin, paying particular
attention to my hardened nipples. It was all I could do to leave my arms submissively at my
sides. My back arched again of its own accord.

Abandoning the pretense of the massage, he rubbed my nipples and rolled them tightly between
his fingers. My hips ground back against the table. I whimpered as his hands moved down to my
hips, and then spread my legs apart. His soft, warm, oil covered fingers gently spread open my
sex and stroked me. My hips came up off the table sharply, bucking against his hand. He slid two
fingers inside me, and I ground my hips again – moaning, searching for release. He removed his

fingers, and I whined softly at the loss. His lips were at my ear in an instant.

"Do you know what I love about this oil?" he asked in a husky tone.

"Mmmmmm… No…" I moaned, my hips writhing. I pulled him in and kissed him hard, trying
to make him feel as aroused as I did. If I were perfectly honest with myself, I would admit that I
wanted nothing more than for him to just take me unbidden on this table. The one thing that
excites me more than any other is making him lose all control – much like he does to me,
frequently.

"It's flavored." He said simply, moving to stand at the bottom of the table. He spread my legs
wide, and dropped his face between them. My hands went to his hair as his tongue entered me. I
bucked, and he held my hips down with this hands. We both moaned together as his tongue
found my clit. I couldn't stay still even with his hands holding me. My body moved urgently,
desperately against his face – my moans and pants becoming uncontrolled.

"Oh… oh… Edward…" I whimpered between heavy breaths. In response, he slid his fingers into
my convulsing sex. I bucked harder against him, unable to stop myself. I could feel my orgasm
building in the pit of my stomach. Only Edward could make me feel like this – I wanted only
him.

He moaned loudly, and pressed his tongue harder against me. His hand sped up as well, thrusting
into me desperately. I cried out loudly "Edward, fuck…" as my orgasm took me, my fingers
digging into the padding on the table, my back arching sharply. When I started to calm down
from the intensity of the orgasm, I heard him laughing with his head on my stomach. I looked
down at him. "What are you laughing at?" I asked curiously.

"I've never heard you curse during an orgasm before. It was… strangely erotic." He said, kissing
my stomach. I flushed, embarrassed and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Sorry. I don't know what came over me…" I said, and then giggled. "Okay, I know what came
over me; I just don't know what made me use that particular phrase." I rubbed his shoulders
lightly, and then had an idea. "Okay, your turn." I said with a smirk.

"My turn for what?" he said, his eyes lighting up.

"A massage." I said, and then giggled as his face fell. "Come on, up on the table." I said, getting
up and pulling at his robe ties.

"If you wanted to undress me, you could have just said so." He said with a sexy grin. I grabbed
the shoulders of his robe, and pulled it off and throwing it on the floor. "Aren't you going to wear
it?" he asked, surprised.

"Nope." I said, popping the 'p'.

"I'm not going to be able to lay on my stomach if you keep teasing me like that." He said,

seriously. I pushed him down onto the table, and grabbed the oil he had been using. I poured a
fair amount into my cupped hand and then rubbed my hands together to warm it. I started on his
neck and shoulders. He groaned into the table. "God, that feels good." Then he relaxed
completely as I started on his back. I rubbed his back for a long time, relieving him of his tension
until his breathing was even and his eyes closed. I moved over to the table, and grabbed one of
the chairs, setting it next to the padded table.

"What are you doing?" he asked curiously. I just stepped onto the chair and then straddled over
his back on the table, facing his feet. "Well, then…" he said surprised.

I deliberately pressed my naked sex against his lower back, and my breasts against his buttocks
as I leaned forward and rubbed his legs. He moaned, and shifted on the table as my fingers
reached his upper thighs. I rubbed first one thigh, then the other, then ran my hands up the
insides of his thighs. He jerked under me, and I grinned. "Do you like that?" I asked in a soft
voice.

"Mmmmmmmm… Yes…." He moaned, and then I moved up to rub oil into his buttocks. My
fingers moved slowly over his soft skin, and he shifted again. "Okay, I have to turn over now."
He said slowly. "You are too much of a tease for your own good." I climbed back down to the
chair, and helped him roll over. Sure enough, he was hard and he lay down on his back with his
eyes closed. Foregoing the frontal massage, I gave him something I thought he'd like more as I
slid my lips around his erection. He wasn't expecting this, and cried out at the contact – his back
arching. "God, Bella…" I hummed around him in response, giggling a little at his sudden
exclamation. His hips began to move in a slow rhythm as I took him deeper into my mouth,
sucking softly. His legs trembled slightly as my I moved my mouth faster over him, and lightly
stroked between his legs with my fingers.

Suddenly, he pulled back. "Stop, Bella... Please stop…" He panted, taking my face in his hands. I
looked at him a little hurt. Why had he stopped me? I thought he liked…

"I want to make love." He said, smiling. Then as he slid off the padded table, he leaned forward
and said in a low strained voice "that felt so fucking incredible… I thought I was going to lose
my mind for a minute there…." Then, he picked me up in his arms and carried me to the
bedroom. Not stopping until he reached the huge bed, he laid me down with my head on the
pillows, and climbed in next to me. He pushed me back onto the bed, and shifted on top of me. I
could feel his erection pressing into my thigh as he started to kiss me. Deep, penetrating kisses
that I felt baring my soul to him. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and he slid his arms
under my shoulders, holding me impossibly tight to him. He was still supporting himself lightly
on his elbows, and he shifted to move directly between my legs. I felt him pressing against my
hot core, and I opened myself to him. My legs, my arms, my heart – everything was open to him.

Edward POV

I felt her soften beneath me, opening herself completely. I felt so close to her – like she could see
my soul bared and naked for her in this moment. I groaned softly into her mouth as I entered her.
I gripped her shoulders more securely, and rocked my hips into her. Her fingers tightened in my

hair, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. I pushed deeper into her, and she broke the kiss
in a deep open mouthed moan. My head fell to her shoulder, and her lips were right next to my
ear. I knew then that I wouldn't last too much longer, hearing her excitement right in my ear…
Knowing that I was making her feel that way… It was erotic, intoxicating… She moved her hips
with mine, driving me still deeper into her warm depths. At once, her soft whimpers turned to
cries and she moved almost urgently against me. "I'm… so… God, I'm so close…" I groaned in
her ear.

She arched and cried out, lifting my body on top of hers. Her muscles locked, and she cried out
again – my name. I thrust harder, faster into her – trying to prolong her orgasm but I felt my own
crash over me. I cried her name over and over into her shoulder, my chest swelling with the love
I felt for her. Finally, the feeling started to subside, and I kissed her shoulder, and neck, and
cheek softly, reverently. She was the most precious thing to me, and I held her close for a long
time. Finally, kissing her neck near her ear I murmured "My precious, perfect, love…" She
hugged me tighter.

I disentangled myself from her and lifted her as I pulled the bedclothes down. Not bothering to
dress, I crawled into the bed and pulled her into my arms. She lay against me, with her head on
my chest as I stroked her hair and face. I could be content to lie with her in my arms like this
forever. Again I marveled at how close I felt to her in this moment. It was like we were one
person – one heartbeat. I squeezed her tightly and said "Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart. I
love you." She tightened her grip on me as well, and I heard softly – just before I drifted to sleep,
"I love you too, Edward. You are my life."


Wow – that was a really long chapter for me. Sorry, but I couldn't find any place where I
could logically break it. I hate it when you KNOW there's a lemon coming, and they make you
wait until the next chapter.

Okay, I know this is slightly OOC for Alice – but I mean, honestly who starts getting ready at
7am for a 7pm date? Sometimes those 2,000 word descriptions of getting ready for a date,
detailing every freaking aspect of the torturous ordeal make me crazy. (Especially the wedding
day ones) I skip right through them.


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Chapter: 20


I marveled at how close I felt to her in this moment. It was like we were one person – one
heartbeat. I squeezed her tightly and said "Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart. I love you." She
tightened her grip on me as well, and I heard softly – just before I drifted to sleep, "I love you
too, Edward. You are my life."

Chapter 20 – Questions

Bella POV

"Who the hell is calling me at 7 am?" I moaned as I rolled out of bed to find my cell phone. I
grabbed it out of my bag and checked the display. "I should have known." I sighed and flipped it
open. "Are you injured?" I asked, darkly. "Because I love you, and I appreciate you – but Alice,
sweet Jesus it's 7 am!"

"HEASKEDMETOMARRYHIM!" she screamed into the phone. I held the phone away from my
ear as Edward shot straight up in bed.

"Did I hear the words 'marry him'?" he asked in a strangled voice. I nodded and turned back to
the phone. I saw Edward lie back down and put the pillow over his head.

"Alice, that is so great!" I cried, trying to instill the proper enthusiasm. Edward huffed and rolled
over. "Edward and I are still in the suite, can we get together for lunch and talk?"

"Yep! We can start planning. You're going to be my maid of honor, right? Please?" Alice
begged.

"Let's talk about it at lunch. Edward is trying to suffocate himself with the pillow." I said,
laughing. "I'll call you when I get home. Okay?" She agreed, and I snapped the phone closed. I
threw it back in the direction of my bag, and lay back down with Edward on the bed.

"Honey?" I asked, tentatively. "Are you okay?"

"They don't even know each other. How can they get married?" He asked in a growl. I was
surprised. He and Jazz were good friends, and Alice and Jazz are such a good match. I didn't see
the problem.

"Edward, how much time had we spent together before you asked me?" I asked, with a smile in
my voice. I heard him mumble into the pillow. "Sorry, didn't catch that?" I asked, amused now.

"Three weeks." He said grudgingly. "It was different for us, Bella. We were made for each other,
what was the point in waiting? Plus, I wanted you to go with me when I went to med school.
They don't have any pressing time limits."

"Maybe they were made for each other too, baby. Who are we to judge? If that's the case – why
should they wait?" I asked gently.

"But she's my baby sister, Bella. I'm supposed to watch out for her, protect her. That's my job.
I'm…. I'm not ready to give it to someone else yet." He sighed. "She's done so much for me, for
us. I just want to make sure that she's happy – she deserves so much."

I kissed him forcefully, and rolled on top of him. "Hmmmmm… Well, we still have a few hours
before we meet her for lunch. What if I take your mind off of it?" I moved down to kiss his neck
and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"What do you suggest?" He asked with a sexy smirk.

I felt him push up against my stomach, he was hard as steel - he was usually hard in the
mornings. I giggled, and grabbed his hand pulling him out of the bed with me. He looked at me
quizzically, but followed. I dropped his hand when we got to the padded table and stepped up to
it. I bent over and pressed my stomach and breasts down on it, spreading my legs. I was now
bent and spread over the table, so I said over my shoulder back at him "I'm sure you can figure
out what to do from here." For a few minutes, he didn't move. He just stood watching me. I
looked back at him, and then he came up right behind me. I could feel his erection pressing into
the back of my thigh. He leaned over me, his lips next to my ear. "You look so fucking hot like
this." He rubbed my buttocks with both his hands, sliding them down my legs and then back
again. He gave me a playful slap on my ass and I moaned. Holy hell…

"No fucking way…" he said in a whisper, and slapped my ass again. I moaned, and started to
writhe against the table. "You like that, don't you?" he asked in a strained voice. I couldn't reply
at first, embarrassed. Like I wasn't a freak already, now I had to admit that I apparently liked to
be spanked. He spanked me again, harder this time. "Do you, Bella?"

"Yes." I said in a faint whisper.

"Louder, Bella – I don't think I heard you correctly. Do you like it when I spank your bare
bottom?" For emphasis, he gave me three hard spanks in rapid succession.

"YES!" I cried out, embarrassed. He grabbed my hips in both hands, and slid into me hard. I
moaned loudly at his swift entry, but didn't get a chance to catch my breath before he started
thrusting hard.

He leaned forward, his thrusts never faltering, and moaned in my ear "You have no idea how hot
it makes me to spank you." Then each time he would pull out to thrust again, he'd slap my ass. It
made me clench around him, and he groaned loudly. Neither of us was going to last very long.

Edward POV

Holy fucking hell. My sweet adorable wife likes to be bent over a table and spanked during sex. I
can hardly believe this. I mean yes, it makes me really hot – so hot, but this is so not like her. I
wonder if it's part of the after effects of the head injury – some people do have personality
changes. Plus the swearing during her orgasm before – are there more indicators, and I just
notice the sexual ones because they're more drastic? I groaned as she tightened around me again
– I'll think about this later. Right now all I want to think about is how good she feels around me.

I grabbed her hips tightly, my fingers pressing into her soft skin as I drove into her. Catching
sight of her reddened buttocks between thrusts was my complete undoing. I released her hips and

wrapped both of my arms around her waist, pulling her back hard against me. Then I let one
hand trail down between her legs, stroking her. The effect was immediate, and she ground back
against me - hard. Her movements became more enthusiastic as I stroked her. She sounded
almost animalistic as she rapidly approached her climax. When her orgasm hit, her whole body
clenched and she cried my name. Her ecstasy triggered my own release, and I slammed into her
in a few last desperate thrusts exploding into her. I came loudly and with such force that I felt my
knees go weak. I let myself fall forward with my face pressed against her back for a long
moment while I caught my breath.

We pulled up in front of the house around noon, having taken full advantage of the suite until the
11:00 checkout time. I opened the door for her, but instead of going up towards the house she
wrapped her arms around me. I responded in kind as she looked up at me and said "Thank you
for an absolutely wonderful evening." Then she kissed me softly.

"No, thank you." I said earnestly. "I feel like we've really been reconnecting lately, especially
last night and this morning. It was so amazing." I buried my face in her neck and nuzzled gently.
"I wish we could just stay home and cuddle up on the couch and talk today before we pick up
Libby." I sighed.

She giggled. "Our communication lately has been relatively non-verbal. How about we talk after
we put her to bed tonight? That will give us a few hours at least. Is there something in particular
that you wanted to talk about?"

"Not really. I was thinking about maybe going on a family vacation during spring break, or
maybe this summer?" I said quietly. "What would you think of a cruise around the Caribbean?"

"I think summer would be a better option for that – spring break is a little soon. We want to make
sure I have a really good handle on things before we take a chance like that. But I think that's a
great idea. Maybe we could go with Esme and Carlisle, or a whole group?" she said excitedly. I
nodded and held her tightly. I loved being able to pamper her, she really deserved it. She would
have a blast planning things with Alice, and I know I'd be happy with whatever they decided as
long as we are together.

We went into the house and I headed up for a shower while she called Alice to set up lunch. I
sighed; I really hope Ali knows what she's doing. I'm really fond of Jasper – he's one of my best
friends. I know he'll treat her right, but sometimes things happen that are beyond your control. I
have to wonder, if something happened to Alice like it happened to Bella – does Jasper love her
enough after just two months to keep everything together? Would he treasure her, care for her as
I do for Bella? God, I couldn't think about this. I would just have to trust that Alice is an adult
and can make her own decisions.

Bella POV

"Okay, we're home now." I said, laughing at Alice's continued exuberance. "Is this a girl's lunch,
or a couple's lunch? Edward is in the shower, but I'm ready to go."

"That depends." She said, showing her first sign of hesitation. "Is Edward going to kill Jasper?
I'd be really peeved if I waited all this time to get married, and Edward killed my fiancé." She
giggled despite herself.

"Of course not." I said, laughing with her. "He's just worried about you, Ali. He wants to make
sure you aren't taking things too fast. Yeah, I know we did the same exact thing, but he's a big
brother. It's bound to happen."

"Okay, then – he can come too. I'll call Jazz and meet you at our usual place in an hour?" she
asked. I agreed, and tossing my phone onto the table I went upstairs to find Edward. He was
standing in a towel looking in the closet for something to wear. I came up behind him, and
wrapped my arms around his slightly damp waist. I kissed him softly between his shoulder
blades, and he put his arms over mine on his waist. After a minute, he turned in my arms and
pulled me to him. I laid my head on his chest and he stroked my face and hair.

"I love you." I told him softly.

He squeezed me tight against him and said "I love you too." We just stood there for an
immeasurable time before he asked "What time are we meeting Alice?"

"Well, so long as you promise not to kill Jasper, we're meeting about 1:30." I said, looking at the
clock. "That gives you about 20 minutes to get dressed and ready to go. Want me to stay up here
with you?" He nodded and after a quick squeeze let me go to find something to wear. "Are you
still upset about their engagement?"

He sighed. "No, I guess not. I just hope he's committed to the relationship. I would really hate for
this to end badly. I wouldn't want to take sides, but she's my sister. I could never side against
her." I nodded; this would be difficult for him if it didn't work out.

"I have a good feeling, baby. Watching them interact since New Year's, I really think that they
are committed to each other. Not everyone has that commitment as tested as we have." I said,
guessing why he was so worried about the pace of their relationship. "You're worried about
something happening to Alice, and Jasper abandoning her – aren't you?"

"Not consciously, I think – but it's in the back of my mind, yes." He admitted softly. "I can't go
thought what I have for the last year and not think about it. But I won't let that interfere with their
happiness."

We were all seated in the restaurant, Jasper throwing anxious glances at Edward when the
subject came around again. Alice looked between her brother and her fiancé and finally said "So,
Bella – you never did answer me. Are you going to be my maid – or matron, or whatever – or
honor? And don't think I didn't notice your hesitation on the phone." It sounded like if she could
stomp her foot, she would.

"Are you sure, Ali? That's a lot of stress and little sleep … what If … what if I have an episode
during the wedding? I'm not going to ruin your day." I said softly, looking at the table.

She surprised me by taking both of my hands in hers. "Bella…" I looked up at her. "I won't let it
stress you out, we'll do it together and Rosie will help. We will make sure you get lots of sleep,
and Edward will be there to watch over you. And even if by some slim chance it did happen –
we'd deal with it. It's worth the risk to me, honey. You've been my best friend as long as I can
remember. It wouldn't be right without you by my side." She squeezed my hands. "I solemnly
swear not to turn into Bridezilla. Please?" Edward squeezed my hand under the table, and I
finally nodded.

Jasper cleared his throat then. "Edward? Will you be my best man? You are my best friend and
you mean a lot to me, and you mean the world to Alice. It is really important to both of us for
you to be in our wedding. Even if you may have reservations about it happening at all." He said
looking down.

"Jazz, of course I'll stand by your side. I would have asked you when Bella and I got married if
you weren't on the other side of the planet without a sat phone! And it's not that I have
reservations, after I thought about it for a while I knew that there is no one I'd rather see Alice
with than you. I'm happy for you both."

Tears in her eyes, Alice jumped up and hugged her brother fiercely. "Thanks Edward." She said
softly as the waiter came to our table.


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Chapter: 21


Tears in her eyes, Alice jumped up and hugged her brother fiercely. "Thanks Edward." She said
softly as the waiter came to our table.

Chapter 21 – DAY ONE

Bella POV

"I'm so glad that after my lectures today, we'll have all of next week to spend together." Edward
said softly in my ear. "Between work and the wedding Nazi, things have been so hectic this last
month. I'm really looking forward to spending time with just you and Libby." We cuddled in bed
for another 15 minutes until he had to get up and get ready for work. I made my way downstairs
and started to put together breakfast for us. Elizabeth was still sleeping at this ungodly hour,
thankfully. Alice was going to be here within the hour to go over flowers for the wedding. True
to her word, she hasn't overwhelmed me with wedding stuff. While I haven't had another seizure,
I am still under a lot of restrictions – including my personal babysitter and chauffer. But, I was
starting to feel more confident of standing in front of everyone without collapsing.

I was just finishing up the eggs when Edward came downstairs. He looked so scholarly sweet in
his button down and sweater. He grabbed a mug and had made himself a cup of coffee when I
put his plate in front of him. "Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you?" he asked,
taking my hand and pulling me onto his lap. "I don't know how I got so lucky."

I snorted, I couldn't help it. But I didn't contradict him because I know how that upsets him. I
leaned in and kissed his cheek and said "I'm the lucky one, and I appreciate you too. You're the
best husband ever." I giggled. "I'd fall to my knees and worship you properly, but you'd be late
for work." I kissed his cheek again and tried to stand, but he held firm.

"You are in such trouble when I get home tonight." He said sternly, eating his breakfast. He
didn't make any move to remove me from his lap.

"Am I?" I asked with mock innocence. Then, leaning down I murmured in his ear "Am I going to
get a spanking?" He groaned into my shoulder, and I felt him shift underneath me. I could feel
him starting to get hard against my leg. "Are you going to put me over your lap, naked, and
spank me until my face is flushed and covered in tears?" He grabbed me tightly around the waist,
and growling softly picked me up and set me on my feet.

"I'm going to go upstairs and splash some cold water on my face, and then head out." He said in
a strained voice. Then he leaned over and kissed me softly. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby." I said, trying to hold in my giggles at his obvious problem. He sighed and
rolled his eyes, but before heading up to our room he swatted my behind. It didn't hurt, but it was
an implied promise for later when he got home.

Alice came in as Edward was putting on his shoes to leave. "Hi Edward!" she said with a chipper
grin.

"Hi Ali." He said, picking up his messenger bag. "Be careful of her today, she's being wicked."
He smirked at me.

Alice looked at me and said "What's the matter, Bells? We don't have to do this today if you're
not up to…" but faltered at the grin on my face.

"That wasn't the kind of wicked he was referring to, Alice." I said throwing a wink at my
laughing husband. He came over and wrapped his arms around me, kissing me softly.

"I'll see you about 4:00, love." He said, kissing my cheek. "And don't worry – I'll think up a
suitable punishment for you during my office hours." I giggled as Alice rolled her eyes, and
started putting huge flower catalogs on the table.

We spent a few hours poring over the flower books so that Alice could get an idea of what she
wanted. It would all depend on the venue, of course, but she could at least pick out some
coordinating arrangements. Rosie and I had already decided on our bridesmaids gowns, and

Alice had decided on an overall theme and color scheme. Now we were just working on the
details. Libby was down for her afternoon nap when Alice's cell phone rang. She looked at the
display and shrugged.

"Hello?" she said curiously. "Yes, this is Alice Cullen." She listened to the other person for a few
seconds and her face lit up. "Yes, we are definitely interested! " She looked at her watch and
frowned. "Yes. How long are you going to be there today?" She sneaked a look at me. "Okay, I'll
be there before 5:00 with the deposit. Thank you so much!" She snapped her phone closed, and
looked up at me. "Do you want to come with me to put the deposit down on that Civil War
mansion we looked at? Jasper is going to love that place."

"Alice, I would, but Libby is sleeping and it takes like an hour to get there. It's nearly 3:30 now –
you have to leave if you're going to make it there in time." I said looking at the clock over her
shoulder. "That's the place of your dreams, you and Jasper both – you have to get it."

"Will you be okay here for half an hour until Edward gets home?" she asked sheepishly.

"Yes. I slept well last night, and I haven't had any kind of problem since the first seizure. I'll be
fine for 30 minutes." I said confidently. I really felt good, and I knew I wasn't going to have any
problems for the short time that Alice was gone. She was already throwing things into her bag
getting ready to go. I know if she didn't feel good about leaving me, she'd stay. I was more
important to her than some wedding venue, and that made me feel good. "Thank you for
worrying about me though. I love you Ali." I said, giving her a hug.

"I love you too Bells. You want me to text Edward and let him know that I'm leaving?" She
asked putting her shoes on.

"No, you know him. He'll freak out and leave a lecture hall full of students." I laughed. "He'll be
home soon enough."

"Okay. I'm going to take pictures so that I can show Jasper. I'll stop back by and we can look at
them, that will help us make a better determination on the flowers." She said thoughtfully as she
dashed out the door. I made a mental note to have her drop the pictures onto my laptop so I could
add them to the wedding blog. I'd already blogged about the venue, but I'd like to have some
pictures to reference. I love being able to keep all of my notes organized online!

Edward POV

As I pulled into the drive, the first thing I noticed was that Alice's car was gone. I was a little
later than I had expected in getting home. One of my students had stopped me and needed some
help to try and catch up over the break next week. Alice and Bella must have gone somewhere to
iron out something for the wedding. I sighed. I'll be glad when this wedding business is over and
I can have my wife back. I wanted to finish the conversation we'd started before I went to work
this morning. I grinned at her obvious innuendos. Man, she knew just what to say to press my
buttons. I love that woman.

I still had a smile on my face when I walked in through the front door. It froze on my face as I
took in the scene around me. It looked like World War III had taken place right in this room. The
end table had been knocked over and the lamp was smashed on the floor. The potted plant had
been turned over and dirt was spread through the room. The shelves that normally held our CDs
had been knocked down, and there was a small dark stain on the carpet. Oh God, what the hell
happened in here? I grabbed my cell phone in shaking hands and called Bella's cell – it went
straight to voice mail. I called Alice's cell.

"Hi Edward!" she chirped. "Hey, tell Bella that I must have missed the guy at the mansion, there
wasn't anyone there when I got there." My insides froze. Bella wasn't with her.

"Alice, Bella's not with you?" I asked, panic fully evident in my voice.

"No. I got a call on a place for the wedding, and went to leave the deposit about 3:30. She isn't
with you?" she asked, now starting to panic as well.

"I'll call you back!" I yelled into the phone and tore through the house. I screamed "BELLA!"
and "LIBBY!" over and over, now starting to sob. They weren't here. The living room was
destroyed, and there was something that looked like blood on the floor, and my Bella and Libby
were missing. I screamed until I was horse, and then grabbed my cell phone again.

"Charlie! Bella and Libby are gone, and the house is a wreck. Someone took them... Please, I
need your help. Please!" I said desperately running into the dining room. It was then that I
noticed the envelope on the table with my name on it. "Wait, Charlie there's something here." I
opened the big manila envelope and saw that it contained a burned DVD. "It's a DVD – hold on
I'm going to put it in." I ran to the living room TV and threw the DVD in, waiting impatiently
while it loaded. The title came up; it said:

You took her from me.

Now I have taken them both.

They will be mine forever.

You won't even find their bodies.

I hit my knees even as I heard Charlie screaming into the phone. I paid no attention as another
message came onto the screen - You turned her into a whore. And then a video started – it
showed Bella in Libby's room in just a bra and jeans. Then she walked into the hallway and I
joined her. I started kissing her, and then backed her into the bedroom. There was no sound, only
video. As the video ended there was more text - Now she will be mine. Forgetting momentarily
about the phone in my hand, I sobbed "NO!" over and over. When I finally picked up the phone
again, I said in a voice shaking with sobs - "Charlie, Jacob has Bella and Libby. He left me a
video. He's going to kill them Charlie. Please… Please help me."

Charlie went into full police officer mode, and said "Edward, hang up right now and call 911. I'll

be there as soon as I can. I'm going to look here and see if I can find him or anyone from the
tribe. Jacob can't hurt her, he cares for her. She's been through so much already… He… He
can't." I heard his voice break.

I hung up and called the police, explaining about the mess in the living room and the DVD. The
police were there in a matter of minutes. They took samples of everything in the room. They
confirmed that the spot on the floor was blood. They found the hidden video camera in the bear
he'd given Libby for her birthday. They explained that the first 48 hours are critical. They talked
in their police jargon making me wish for Charlie. I felt numb. The panic had taken me
completely. I roamed through the house like a caged animal, just moving from room to room. I
couldn't stand the uncertainty, the not knowing. I was jittery and I wanted to be doing something,
anything to find them.

Then I heard screaming from the front yard, and I looked out. Two burly police officers were
trying to restrain a frantic Alice. She was kicking and screaming trying to get at the house. I
walked out the front door, and yelled that she was my sister and for them to let her pass. They
released her and she flew into my arms. "Edward, what's wrong? Where's Bella? Where's
Libby?" I sobbed in my sister's arms and tried to tell her what was going on, but nothing came
out. It took a few tries and then I finally got out that they'd been taken. I couldn't tell her about
the messages in the video, but I did tell her that I got a message from Jacob that he'd taken them.

We supported each other as we made our way back into the house. Alice sat with me on the
couch calling the family while we watched the police work. They were now coordinating with
Charlie by phone, but he was on his way. I walked over to the computer and pulled up my
cellular account – I checked her GPS. Her phone was off. I didn't hold out any hope, but I set up
'boundaries' on her phone. When her phone came on and showed that she wasn't on our block, it
would give me her location. I didn't think Jacob would be dumb enough to allow her to use her
cell phone, but I couldn't think of anything else to do. This was all I could do. I don't know
anything about Jacob – Charlie was getting that information. I don't even know where he lives.
I've never felt so helpless. Not even when they brought Bella into the ER. I knew that I could
save her if I needed to – now I don't even know that.

God, please don't let him hurt them. Please let them be okay. Please…


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Chapter: 22


God, please don't let him hurt them. Please let them be okay. Please…

Chapter 22 – DAY TWO (Saturday)

Edward POV

After lying awake all night, staring at the ceiling and imagining hundreds of different scenarios
involving Jacob murdering my family, I got up. I walked numbly into the bathroom, and started
the shower. If they were dead, I would follow soon behind them. I couldn't live without her,
without them. I wasn't strong enough. The tears started to fall again as I stepped under the spray.
I looked down and saw Bella's shampoo. Pouring a little into my hands, I rubbed them together
and brought them to my face. God, it smelled like her. I sank to the floor of the shower, and put
my head on my knees.

After what seemed like an eternity, I was dressed and heading downstairs. Alice was in the
kitchen making breakfast, her eyes red. Jasper and Emmett were sitting at the table drinking
coffee. They both looked up as I entered. Emmett stood up and walked over to me. Without a
word he pulled me into a hug. I managed not to break down again, but just barely. When he
released me he said "We'll find them, Edward. Don't lose hope."

I looked away and asked "Where are Rosie and Jane?"

"At home. Rosie didn't think you'd want to be around Jane, that it might…" he broke off but I
understood. They thought Jane would remind me of what I've lost. She would remind me of my
missing baby girl. They were right. I didn't want to be around them right now. I wasn't sure I
wanted to be around anyone. "Jazz and I are going out to look for them. We're not sure we'll be
able to do any more than the police have done – but we…" I understood. They had to be doing
something, just like I had to be doing something. The problem was the police wanted me to stay
here in case they called. And then, the phone rang. I sprinted over to answer it.

"Hello?" I asked, hope kindling in my chest.

"Is this Edward?" a female voice asked.

"Yes, this is Dr. Cullen. Who is this?" I asked, my hope starting to fade.

"Oh, Edward – this is Dr. Weber. I was calling for Bella, is she there?" she asked in a bright tone.
I couldn't respond for a minute. Of course she wouldn't know. It had been less than 24 hours,
really no one knew yet.

"I don't know how to say this any way but bluntly. Bella and Elizabeth were kidnapped
yesterday, they are missing. The police are doing everything they can, but…" I finished lamely. I
felt a spasm of fear in my chest. It hit me so hard right then, to have to say it out loud. Almost
like it made the situation even more real, more dire.

"Oh Edward. Edward I'm so sorry. Oh…" she said, sounding flustered. I knew that she was very
fond of Bella. Everyone was fond of Bella – there were so many things to be fond of. Her bright
personality, her easy smile… God please… Please give her back to me…

"Thank you, Angela." I said simply. "Was there a reason that you were calling Bella on a

Saturday morning? Is everything okay?"

"Edward…" she said slowly. It wasn't okay, I could tell by the sound of her voice.

"Angela, I can't really take much more suspense right now. So, at the sake of sounding rude,
please just spit it out." I said, exasperated.

"Edward you're right, I'm sorry. Bella is pregnant. It showed up in her blood work last week."
She said faintly.

"That's not possible. Bella is on the pill, she has been since high school for hyperplasia." I said,
knowing that it was futile. Pregnancy blood tests were frighteningly accurate.

"That isn't in her chart from the hospital. And the antibiotics that she's been on since the coma
would have negated most types of oral contraceptive. The pharmacy should have warned you."
She said, quietly.

"I got her antibiotics filled at the hospital pharmacy. She gets her birth control filled at the local
pharmacy. They wouldn't have known. I should have known." I said, feeling my body start to
shut down from shock. I failed Bella again. I'm a doctor for God's sake. I knew that antibiotics
would render her contraceptives useless. I just didn't put it together. I didn't think. "Oh God…
Oh God…" I said as I slid to the floor. "If she seizes, and she could with all the stress…"

"She'll most likely miscarry. If she miscarries and doesn't receive proper medical attention…"
she started.

"She could die." I finished. "Assuming she's still alive to begin with." I put my hands over my
face. I couldn't look at my family. I couldn't give them yet another heartbreak. "Thank you for
calling, Angela." I said and hung up the phone. I didn't want her sympathy or condolences right
now. I wanted to stop thinking, stop feeling. Bella is pregnant, and she doesn't know. Even if
Jacob doesn't kill her, she could die anyway.

"Edward, what?" Alice said in a faint voice, an echo of her usual exuberance. I said nothing as I
stood up slowly. I put the phone back into the base, and then with as much force as I could
muster slammed my fist into the kitchen wall. I dimly realized that I was screaming as my fist
connected repeatedly with the wall. As both the wall and my hand started to crack, Emmett and
Jasper grabbed me and held me tightly, and I continued to scream. They carried me to the living
room and put me on the sofa. Alice brought me a glass of orange juice, and mentioned to Emmett
the vodka she'd added. I didn't care, I drank it. As the alcohol hit my system, I started to calm.
This is what I needed. I wanted to drink myself into a stupor and not think.

"Please Edward, tell us who was on the phone." She said softly, and she opened the first aid kit
and took my hand. Alice was never one for blood, so I thought it odd that she would volunteer to
care for me. But then again, I didn't. Alice was taking care of me, like I took care of her.

"It was Dr. Weber, Bella's neurologist. She was calling to tell me… to tell me… that Bella is

pregnant. Because of her condition, it's dangerous if she seizes. There is a high likelihood that
she could miscarry. That assumes, of course, that they are even still alive to…" I started, but
Alice's frustrated scream cut me off.

"Stop fucking saying that!" she said with a wild expression. Emmett, Jasper, and I all looked at
her shocked. "I will not let you give up on them. Do you hear me? That is my sister and my niece
out there with some lunatic. I will not stop fighting for them, or searching for them, or praying
for them until I see them again!" she shouted in my face.

"Alice you don't know… You haven't seen…" I started lamely. I didn't want to have to be the
one to tell her about Jacob's message, his promise.

"I saw the god damned DVD, Edward. I watched it when the cops were playing it and taking
notes. They'd stop it and rewind it, and start it over and over. I saw what he said, over and over –
so believe me, big brother, I get it. But I also know Bella. She is not going to let him hurt her
daughter. She will say anything, do anything to keep herself and Elizabeth alive until we can find
them. And we will find them, if I have to knock on every door I see for a 500 mile radius." She
finished, still yelling. "Now, Emmett, Jasper – let's go." She looked at the other two, and they
stood, stunned by her outburst.

I stood too, and wrapped my arms around my little sister. "I love you, Ali." I said, sincerely.
"And I want to believe that they're alive. It just hurts so much…"

She wrapped her arms around me and said "I know, big brother – but you have to have faith.
Faith, and hope – that's really all we have left." She squeezed me tightly. "I love you too. I will
always love you, and be here for you." And then Emmett and Jasper each put a hand on my
shoulder, and I thought maybe I could stand it. I could think and feel and hope, at least for a little
while longer.

The police came in the afternoon with Charlie to update me on the case. The case… It wasn't a
case… It was my family… But I listened. They had gotten a search warrant for Jacob's house, his
father's house, and any other place associated with him. In a search of Jacob's place, they
recovered his laptop which held a wealth of information – but nothing on their current location.
They had to call in specialists from Seattle and Redmond to decrypt the hard drive, but based on
the circumstances they pulled out all of the stops and were able to do it quickly. Thankfully
Jacob only knew enough to encrypt it, but used an older encryption algorithm with a lower bit
strength. They were able to use high speed computers at the local college to break it in a matter
of hours. What they found was surprising:

Jacob had all of Bella's private blogs. After a complete analysis of the computer, they found that
he had a wireless sniffer and our WEP key. I don't know how he would have gotten the
encrypted key to our network. I had read all of Bella's blogs last night with her laptop. Maybe I
shouldn't have, but I wanted to see if she had any suspicions about Jacob. He must have read her
blog about wanting to end their friendship. He had apparently also seen the wedding blog and
would have known about Alice's desperation to married at that mansion. He had someone call
and lure her away so he could get to Bella and Libby.

Jacob had hours of video from the bear cam, and from a hand held he used in front of our house.
He had been watching us since the first of the year, getting our habits and routines down. From
the look of the outlines of the handheld, it appeared that Jacob had been in some kind of truck or
van. I told the officers that there had been a lot of cable installer vans in our area recently. A
quick call to the cable company confirmed that there have been no installations in our area
recently. It had been him, all of it.

Jacob had kept a computerized journal of his own. There were dates, and times, and brief
descriptions detailing our movements over the last few months. He knew when I left for work,
when Alice came over, when I got home - all of their errands. He was profiling us to find out
when to strike. Since Bella had her seizure, he couldn't find a hole, so he lured Alice away.

Jacob had street and topographical maps of all of the land within 50 miles of our house. If he was
using these to find someplace to hide – we may never find him.

He was so well-organized, it was frightening. He had been planning this for months, probably
since his father had died. Bella said that he felt all alone in the world. That gave me a little hope.
If he took Bella because he was feeling alone, maybe he would keep her around for company. On
the other hand, he could want to end his life – and theirs. I was so sick of going around in circles.
Why did I have to hang around for that kid yesterday? I could have been home to prevent this!

Charlie came over to me then with some kind of cardboard frame. There were pictures in it, they
looked like mug shots. "Edward, do you recognize any of these guys?" he asked in a cop-like
voice. I sighed. How was I going to know any of these people, I didn't know anyone associated
with Jacob. I took the thing anyway, and froze. There in the middle on the top was my student,
Sam Uley – the one that had kept me after yesterday. On the bottom right was our cable installer.
On the top left was the driver from the ambulance that took Bella when she'd had her seizure. I
looked up at Charlie with wide, frantic eyes.

"Who, Edward?" he asked, his façade breaking. I told him which ones I recognized and from
where. He looked up into my frenzied face and said "These guys are all known associates of
Jacob Black. They are part of his 'gang' of friends down in La Push. Now we know how he got
into your wireless network, and how he planned his window of opportunity yesterday." My
shoulders slumped, and I nodded. "No, Edward this is good. By the time I get done with these
guys, they will have told me everything they have ever thought they've known about Jacob
Black." The menace in his face was unmistakable. This man, this bastard had his little girl. He
was going to make his friends pay for helping him, it was obvious. Charlie was already on his
phone as he rushed out the door.

I walked upstairs and into Libby's room. The camera inside the bear was still on, they had left it
on to trace the feed and to see if there was any indication that he was still watching. I knew – but
I didn't care. I didn't know if he even had the equipment to watch now that the police had his
laptop. It was obvious that he wanted me to suffer, so fine he could have his way. I grabbed
Libby's favorite stuffed animal. It smelled like her. I sat in the rocker, holding her toy, feeling my
broken heart throb in my chest.

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Chapter: 23


I grabbed Libby's favorite stuffed animal. It smelled like her. I sat in the rocker, holding her toy,
feeling my broken heart throb in my chest.

Chapter 23 – DAY THREE (Sunday)

Edward POV

Charlie came back in the afternoon, they had found out very little from Jacob's friends that we
didn't already know. Seth, the ambulance driver had no knowledge of the kidnapping at all. It
was apparently just a coincidence that he was a part of her hospital run. Charlie said that the kid
was broken up by what Jacob had done, that he had a good heart and would try to help us find
them. Paul and Sam on the other hand were facing charges for their part in the kidnapping.
Charlie had hit them with everything he could in the hopes of breaking them. Unfortunately,
there was nothing to break. Paul had been paid well for the WEP key and his knowledge of
wireless networking, but didn't know what Jacob was planning. He wasn't a close friend of Jacob
and had no idea where Jacob would take them. Sam had been in my class as a ruse, he didn't
need the credit or the subject. Jacob had stationed him there to keep an eye on me and report
anything out of the ordinary. On that last day before Spring Break, his job was to keep me at the
school as long as he could without making me suspicious. He was trying to give Jacob extra time
to get Bella and Libby out of the house. Sam knew what he was planning, but again had no idea
where he would take them. So, even with all of the information out in the open we were still no
closer to finding my family.

Alice and Jasper arrived in the early afternoon, and had picked up printer ink and a large staple
gun. Alice was planning to make flyers, and Jasper was using Bella's laptop to put up a website.
A TV crew would be here later to do an interview with me and get Bella's picture out. Maybe
someone would spot her. Maybe someone had seen her. We had just past the critical 48 hour
mark. The best opportunity to find them was coming to a close.

The police had finally shut off the bear cam, so I walked over to the iPod dock, and started
Libby's shuffle. Bella had loaded the CD I made for her onto a shuffle for Libby to listen to at
night. I heard the notes of my piece for Bella start up, and I allowed my mind to drift. My Bella
is going to have another baby, even amid the current circumstance I had to be happy about that.
Deep down the flame inside me that held the hope that Bella would be okay was still burning. It
was overpowered by the reality of the odds, but I couldn't let it go out, I couldn't lose hope – it
was all I had left. That was all that was keeping me alive. I started to daydream, trying to
imagine if it would be a boy or a girl. Would Libby have a baby brother or sister? I faintly hoped

for a boy, just praying that whatever it was, it was healthy.

I finally fell asleep, lying in Libby's floor. I felt so close to them here. I couldn't stand my
bedroom. It reminded me forcefully of the love both physical and emotional that Bella and I
shared there. It was too real, too raw there.

We were lying in the meadow. It was the day before we were to leave for school. Bella had been
accepted into a master's program for English Literature and I was going to medical school.
Tomorrow we would leave for the next leg of our journey together. We would be married in
December at the end of our first semester together. It had been difficult to get Bella to agree to
continue her education rather than finding a job right away. It wasn't that she was opposed to
additional schooling, on the contrary – that part she was looking forward to. Even though we
were to be married soon, she felt that she was taking advantage by living off of my trust. I
explained that the trust would last us until retirement even if we didn't work, but she argued that
it was the principle. She finally relented when I pointed out that we both wanted to move back
after we graduated, and she would have to leave whatever job she found anyway. She should just
enjoy the next three years. Her only stipulation was that she be able to take care of me –
cooking, cleaning, laundry, the works. She was always so nurturing.

She was sitting up against the tree, and I was lying with my head in her lap. We had made love in
the grass, saying goodbye to our special place. Now we were just enjoying being together away
from the family. We talked about what life would be like on our own, together. We talked about
our plans for after college. My dad wanted to set up my residency in the hospital where he
worked. He was bursting with pride at my choice for college, and said he would have no problem
setting up a job. For once, I didn't mind the favor because it meant that Bella and I could be
closer to our families. That was important to us both. We talked about my different options once
I became a doctor – working in a hospital, starting a practice, or teaching. Everything that affect
me, now also affected her. We would make all of our decisions together.

We talked about what she wanted to do with her degrees. I knew that she wanted to write, but she
said that she would try her hand at editing first. She would be able to get into the field and see
how things worked before trying to get something published. Plus, if she was already established
at a publishing house, it may be easier for her to get something out having already made some
connections.

We talked for hours, until the sun had started to set. I was daydreaming about our life together
when she started to run her fingers through my hair. "Edward…" she said softly. "Edward…" a
little louder, starting to shake me softly...

"Edward…" I woke up from my dream to see my mother sitting on the floor next to me. She was
shaking me awake. I looked up and saw that she looked haggard and drawn. The dark circles
under her eyes were alarming.

"Mom? Are you alright?" I asked, sitting up and pulling her to me. I faintly noticed that while I
was sleeping, someone had covered me with a blanket. It fell off as I pulled her closer to me and
she sobbed into my shoulder. She was shaking, and clutching my shirt. I felt a little disoriented,

had something else happened?

"Yes." She said faintly. "I'm sorry I woke you, I just wanted to tell you that the TV crew will be
here in an hour. I thought you might want to freshen up." I nodded, but made no move to get off
the floor. I held her gently and stroked her hair.

"Where are they, Edward?" She asked after a few minutes, in a defeated voice. "I miss them both
so much. I don't know how long I can… I can do this…" I held her more tightly. If it were
anyone else, I would have snapped. I would have lashed out. I would have told them that they
couldn't miss my wife and daughter more than I did; that if I knew where they were they would
be home with me. But I couldn't. I couldn't snap at her, because I knew exactly how she felt. It
was killing her, just like it was killing me.

"I know, mom. " I said softly, as I rocked her in my arms. She had comforted me my whole life
when things went wrong. Now, it was my turn to comfort her. I wanted to take away her pain
even more than I wanted to take away my own.

"Oh!" she said, pulling away slightly. "Of course you do, Edward, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean
to…" she looked almost horrified at her breakdown.

"I love you, Mom." I said, pulling her back to me with her head on my shoulder. "I'm always
here when you need me. I'll always take care of you. That's why you love me most." A small grin
spread across her face as she hugged me back.

"I'll deny it if you tell anyone." She said sheepishly, kissing me on the cheek.

"They wouldn't believe me anyway." I said grinning back at her. "Come on; let's go get ready to
be on TV." I sighed. "Do you really think this will help?" I asked her softly.

"I don't know. It will make them more visible, and maybe someone has seen them or will see
them and let us know. Regardless, it's been three days – we have to try." She replied, hugging me
again.

"Isabella and Elizabeth Cullen disappeared on Friday afternoon from their home. Here are
recent pictures of the missing mother and daughter shown on the right. Authorities have reason
to believe that the man on the left, Jacob Black, was involved in their disappearance and is
wanted for questioning. If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of Isabella and
Elizabeth Cullen, or Jacob Black please call the number at the bottom of the screen. Now, we'd
like to take a few minutes to talk to Isabella's husband – Dr. Edward Cullen."

"Dr. Cullen, can you give us any additional information on your wife's disappearance?"

"The police have given me very detailed instructions on the information they wish to be made
public, and the only thing that I can say is that they were taken from our home on Friday
afternoon. The assailant left information which points to Jacob Black, who was a childhood
friend of my wife."

"We understand, and we all want Isabella and Elizabeth home safely. Is there anything you want
to say to your wife and daughter, Dr. Cullen?"

"Bella, I love you and Libby more than anything in this world and I will not rest until I find you.
You are everything to me, and if you're watching and I pray that you are, please don't give up
hope. I will bring you home. Libby, baby, daddy loves you so much... I will see you and mommy
soon."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen."

"When will this air?" I asked, taking off the clip-on microphone and handing it to the technician.
I felt drained, but glad that I could finally do something to help my Bella. We had decided that
revealing that Bella is pregnant wouldn't be a good idea. Jacob hated me so much he might try to
hurt the baby, and injure Bella in the process. We didn't want to do anything that would set him
off.

"It will be on in a few minutes and then again on the 6:00 and 10:00 news programs. We will run
it once daily after that for a week, unless of course they are found sooner. We are sharing your
interview with the other networks to get maximum coverage. We didn't want you to have to do
multiple interviews." The woman, Irina I think her name was, said quietly.

"I appreciate that." I told her honestly. It was an ordeal just to do one. I didn't know if I could
keep my composure telling Libby I would see her soon over and over. If I could do anything
about it, I would – but it still felt like a lie. I have not been away from her one day in her entire
life. Even if she stayed with mom or Alice, I still saw her every day. Not seeing her these last
three days, not knowing that she's okay was killing me. I need my little girl in my arms. I need
her mother by my side. I need for this nightmare to be over.


A/N: Wow - over 400 reviews, not bad for a soap opera-like first try. :) I will be granting your
biggest, most frequent request tomorrow in Day Four so stay tuned.


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Chapter: 24


I didn't know if I could keep my composure telling Libby I would see her soon over and over. If I
could do anything about it, I would – but it still felt like a lie. I have not been away from her one
day in her entire life. Even if she stayed with mom or Alice, I still saw her every day. Not seeing
her these last three days, not knowing that she's okay was killing me. I need my little girl in my
arms. I need her mother by my side. I need for this nightmare to be over.

Chapter 24 – DAY FOUR (Monday)

After another sleepless night, I walked down to the kitchen for coffee. The only sleep I'd had in
the last four days was the cat nap I'd found on my daughter's bedroom floor. I was dragging, I
had to admit. I just couldn't sleep when Bella and Libby needed me. I couldn't relax until I knew
they were safe. Most of all, I couldn't stand to be in our bed without Bella.

When I got to the kitchen I found Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper sitting at the table. They looked
up when I entered, and Carlisle and Emmett exchanged a look. I knew they were worried about
me, but I wasn't going to give them any false hope that I was okay. I wasn't okay. I grabbed the
pot and poured myself some coffee. When I was seated at the table, Carlisle handed me a plate
with toast. I tried to refuse, but he sat it down in front of me. "Your mom was up all night baking
bread. You know how she gets when she's stressed. Please, eat the toast; it will make her feel
better. And I notice that you haven't eaten in a while, so it will help you too. And take these," he
said dropping two white pills onto my napkin, "they will help your stomach. I'm sure it's not
doing too well lately." I nodded and popped the pills with a swig of coffee. The coffee tasted a
little off, but I didn't say anything – maybe Emmett made it. He wasn't the most domestic soul.

I ate the toast as directed, it wasn't worth the argument. When I was finished, Emmett asked to
see me upstairs. As we passed, Carlisle shot him a look and Jasper remained at the table. I
wondered what it was that they weren't telling me, but I had a feeling I was about to find out. We
made our way upstairs, and into the bedroom that Bella and I shared. I sat down heavily on the
bed, but Emmett just stood in front of me.

"Man, I'm glad spring break started this week. I wouldn't have had the heart to go along with this
if you had to be in class." He said slowly. He was watching me with a speculative look. I looked
up at him, not really understanding what he was saying. The room had started to dim.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked him, but my speech came out slurred. "What did
you do to me?" I was starting to get alarmed now. My vision was blurry, and I felt so heavy.

"Edward, you haven't slept in days. It's not going to help Bella or Libby if you kill yourself
trying to be brave. Dad gave you a sedative, and I made decaf." He said, his voice grave. I tried
to stand up, but my legs wouldn't work. I vaguely wondered what kind of sedative they'd used,
but quickly realized that I didn't care. Emmett pushed me back onto the pillows, and then
grabbed a throw off the end of the bed and laid it gently over me. I glared at him briefly before
my eyes closed of their own accord. I thought about what he'd said. Today is the first day of
spring break. I thought back to my first spring break with Bella, and the videos we had
exchanged after our intimate conversation on the phone.

- FLASHBACK: SPRING BREAK -

Edward POV

I can't believe how nervous I am about this. It seems like she did it without a second thought. I

feel so… self-conscious. But - I am going to do this, she did it for me. God, did she do it for me,
I thought with a grin. I'd watched her video for what felt like a dozen more times after that first
shock-filled viewing. I watched for different things with each time through. I loved the way her
skin flushed when she got excited. I loved the way she bit her lower lip when she imagined
things we'd do together. I loved the way she moaned my name as she came. She is so beautiful.

I locked my bedroom door and tried to decide where I would do this. There was only a week left
before spring break, so I was going to have her download the video from my site. I'd set up
everything that would allow her to download it once the file had been posted – now I just needed
to make the video. Why was I so nervous? What if she thought I was a freak for sending this to
her? How could she, when she sent one first? Well… I did tell her I wanted to watch. She made
no such claim, but I just have a feeling…

I turned my webcam so that it faced my bed, checking the angle on the monitor. I would turn off
the monitor while it recorded. I wasn't sure I could watch myself. I had thought about things I
could say to her at the beginning of the video, but nothing seemed right – so I would just show
her how her video had affected me. Like most guys, I was no stranger to the act itself – but I'd
never had an audience before. I took a deep, steadying breath and turned on the recording. After
turning off the monitor, I walked to my bed and faced the camera.

While looking into the lens, imagining looking into her eyes, I started to undress. I took off my
rugby shirt, tossing it to the floor. I ran my fingers through my hair to get it out of my eyes, and
smiled shyly at her. My hands shook just a little as I unbuttoned my jeans, pushing them off and
leaving them on the floor. Knowing what I was going to do, I wore nothing underneath. I was
now naked before the camera, and I blushed – trying not to feel too self-conscious. I was already
hard thinking about how utterly kinky this was, and the reason I was doing it. I sat down on the
side of the bed, and pushed myself up to lay against the pillows. I closed my eyes and thought of
Bella. I thought of the first time I saw her at my parents' house, how she seemed to glow in
comparison to everyone else there. I thought about that kiss in the garage, and I got harder. When
I thought about the video she'd sent, her perfect skin as she lay on her bed in the same way that I
was now laying on mine, my hand drifted downwards. In a very few minutes, I had one hand
behind my head and the other softly stroking myself, my eyes closed.

I thought about her touching her breasts, and imagined how they would feel. The more excited I
got, the more I thought about the warming gel in my bedside table. Would she think I was
completely off if I used it? As I thought about her stroking herself with her fingers, I decided that
I really wanted to feel the gel. I didn't use it often, but when I did it enhanced the feeling. If I'm
going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly – I thought to myself as I rolled and opened the
drawer. I stopped long enough to drizzle the gel into my palm and then I rubbed it over the
length of my erection. I moaned at the feeling, I couldn't help it. I imagined that this is how sex
would feel – hot, wet, tight. That thought caused me to stroke faster. I could imagine myself on
top of Bella, her legs wrapped around my waist. I remembered the sounds she made in the video
and thought about her making those in my ear as I pleasured her. God… that would be so nice…

Suddenly another image came unbidden into my mind. She had said that she wanted to pleasure
me with her mouth. First I thought about me pleasuring her with mine. She wouldn't be able to

keep her hips still as I teased her. I'd hold her legs apart and tease her with my tongue. Yes, how
I'd love to do that. Then I thought about looking down and watching her eyes as she pulled me
into her mouth. I imagined how it would feel, and my back arched as I moaned her name. I was
getting close now.

My left hand came down from behind my head to grip the blanket beside me as I thought again
about what it would be like to make love to her. I imagined her on top of me, riding me. I saw
her breasts moving in time with her hips, grinding against mine. My hands would be on her hips,
pushing her down harder on to me. Her head would fall back, as she calls my name. I
remembered her voice as she said my name in the video and I squeezed tighter, feeling my
orgasm building. I was moaning freely now, completely unrestrained – losing control. As I
tightened my grip, I thought about her tightening around me. I remembered how she sounded on
the video when she lost control, and as my head drove back into the pillow I exploded over my
stomach.

I lay there, winded, trying to regain control of myself and I remembered that the video was still
recording. I grabbed the towel I'd left on the side of the bed, and did a quick swipe across my
stomach as I got up. I grinned sheepishly into the camera as I made my way to the computer.

Bella POV

I couldn't believe what I'd seen on my screen after he'd walked me though downloading the file.
It's a wonder my monitor hadn't melted. My God that video was hot. It made me warm just
thinking about it now, and I'd already watched it a few times. I loved how he'd moaned my name
while he… pleased himself. It was incredibly sexy. I wondered what this meant for Spring Break
though. I mean with my little video-based lapse of judgment and his answering video, we'd
already seen each other naked. We'd come as close as we could to having sex without actually
touching. Did I want to make love with him while he was here? I'd only met him a few months
ago; we'd never even been on a date. I wasn't sure how I felt about losing my virginity yet.

I watched the arrivals board as I waited for his plane. I felt strangely anxious watching his flight
climb higher and higher on the list. Is this all our relationship would be about? Had I ruined
things by sending him that video? I didn't want this to be just a physical relationship. I really
cared about Edward, and I hoped that he felt the same way. This wasn't just a casual thing for
me. I really wanted this to be so much more.

Finally, his plane landed and I waited outside the security check point. I watched nervously as
passenger after passenger approached. Then, as I saw his bronze hair above the crowd, I felt an
odd sense of calm. There was no more awkwardness. I just wanted to be with him. Once he'd
passed the checkpoint, he set his backpack down, and started to reach for his phone – to text me,
no doubt. I came up behind him, and wrapped my arms around his waist. He spun around
quickly, and grabbed me around the waist – picking me up in the air. "Bella!" he cried. He buried
his face in my hair as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I missed you." He said softly. Then
he pulled back slightly, letting his nose slide along my jaw.

"I missed you too, Edward." I whispered to him. He captured my lips with his, softly, sweetly.

One of his hands released my waist and caressed my cheek. Cognizant of our surroundings, he
didn't deepen the kiss, but he didn't pull away either. He just continued to kiss me, like he
thought I would disappear if he stopped. Finally, he leaned down and grabbed his backpack still
holding my waist. We walked out of the airport in each others' arms.

The next week was spent in a flurry of dates, and time together. We went to the museum, the
movies, a concert in the park, and several dinners. It was like we'd never been apart. We never
did anything more than hold hands and kiss. I was starting to wonder, because I could feel the
sexual tension building between us. I knew without a doubt that I loved him. Tomorrow, he
would have to leave and I wouldn't see him again until after graduation. It seemed like such a
long time. I wanted to tell him that I loved him while he was here; I … wanted to show him.

I got to his hotel right on time for our last evening together. Thankfully there isn't a lot of traffic
around here on a Saturday. Alice had worked so hard on my hair that I'd nearly been late. He'd
wanted me to meet him upstairs this time. Usually when I picked him up to go out, he'd meet me
in the lobby. Maybe he was running late too. He refused to tell me what we were doing tonight,
but he'd given Alice strict instructions on my attire. I was in a soft silk navy blue dress and low
heels. Alice's addition to the outfit had been the matching lace bra and panty set. I felt beautiful. I
could see by the widening of Edward's darkened eyes when he answered the door that he agreed.
He took my hand and pulled me into the hotel room. He kissed me deeply, and then asked me to
sit at a nearby table. "I thought we could stay in this evening, if you don't mind." He said softly.
"This is my last night here, and I don't want to share you with anyone." I felt my heart skip a
beat. I felt the same way.

A knock sounded at the door, and Edward let in the room service delivery. They set up our
special dinner on the table where candles had already been lit. It was beautiful. The whole room
was beautiful with the varying shades of roses, and the candle light. He'd really outdone himself.
I know it's our last night together, but he really put in an effort here. I was surprised, and
delighted. Does that mean that he feels the same way about me? That he feels the same way
about making tonight count?

We talked about a wide variety of things during dinner, but nothing about his leaving tomorrow.
That was good, because I was starting to get an ache in my chest when I thought about it. So, I
focused on the food, which was excellent. I focused on the wine, which was making me relax.
Most of all, I focused on him. I wanted to remember every detail of him when he went away
again. I set my fork down, no longer hungry. I didn't want to think about him going away.

"Finished?" he asked softly? I nodded. He took my hand and let me out onto the balcony. It was
a beautiful night. It was somehow mockingly beautiful. How could this night be so perfect when
I was starting to feel so miserable? I heard music start from inside the room, and then Edward
took me in his arms and we started to dance. I laid my head on his chest, letting the tears come.
When the song ended, I looked up at him and was startled to see a tear fall down his cheek too.
He kissed me then, and his kiss was full of heartbreak. "I know, love." He whispered. "I can't see
how I'm going to get through the next three months without you either." Then his body stiffened,
and he pulled me back inside. "I have to tell you something. I just can't keep this from you any
longer." He led me to a chair, and knelt in front of me. He took my hands in his, and looked into

my eyes.

"Bella, I know that we haven't known each other very long. I know that we haven't spent a lot of
time in the same state." He smiled wistfully at that. "I know that I could be making a huge
mistake by doing this now, but you have to know. I can't go back to school without you knowing.
I love you, Bella. I love you so much." He finished softly, his hand drifting up to touch my
cheek.

I stood up. He stood up too. I could see the naked panic on his face, but I just put one hand
against his cheek and wrapped the other around his neck. My eyes never leaving his, I spoke the
most important words I'd ever managed. "I love you too, Edward." His smile lit up the room for
one brief instant before my mouth was crushed against his. I wanted to show him the depth of
my feelings for him, my sincerity. I wanted the memory of this night to carry with me during our
months apart. I broke the kiss softly, and ran my nose along his jaw until my lips reached his ear.
"Make love to me, Edward." I said softly, fervently. He nodded and reached down to scoop me
into his arms. He carried me into the bedroom of the suite.

He laid me gently on the bed and said "I have to run downstairs, I didn't know…" I stood up,
grabbing his hand.

"I'm covered." I said simply, and kissed him in earnest. He moaned softly against my lips, and
tangled his fingers in my hair. I returned his kisses enthusiastically, marveling at the feeling of
his lips on mine. I had never dared to dream that I would ever find this with someone. With
shaking hands I unbuttoned his shirt, and he shrugged out of it letting it fall to the floor. I gasped
at the feeling of his naked back under my fingers. He shivered slightly as I ran my fingers up his
spine. He moaned my name in response.

I stepped back from him and reached behind me. He watched in fascination as I unzipped my
dress and let it fall. He drew in a shuddering breath and said softly "You are so beautiful. You're
even more stunning in the moonlight." I stepped forward again and leaned into his embrace. I
loved the feeling of his skin against mine. I reached down and without breaking the kiss opened
his pants and let them fall to the ground. He pushed me gently towards the bed, stepping out of
his discarded pants. As I lay back onto the bed, I finally caught sight of him. He was gorgeous in
his boxers. So, as my back hit the mattress, I pushed up to roll us over. I straddled him, and he
smiled. I leaned down and kissed his neck, running my fingers along his chest. He moaned softly
and reached behind me to unhook my bra. As my lips reached his ear, I said softly "I never
thought it could be like this…" He pulled my bra down over my arms and I threw it to the floor.
As his hands slid lightly over my breasts, I ground my hips against his – marveling at the
delicious friction it created. He moaned, and it was such an erotic sound. It reminded me of the
video he'd sent, and I felt a flash of heat that emboldened me. I kissed down his neck and over
his chest. My tongue circled one nipple then the other, making them both hard. His hands went to
my hair, and I could feel his self-restraint starting to slip as I moved my body down and ran my
lips softly over his stomach.

He moaned my name and tightened his fingers in my hair. His stomach was rising and falling
rapidly as I made my way lower. I pulled at his waist band, trying to convey what I wanted. He

lifted his hips, his hands in my hair trembling as I pulled his boxers down and off. His naked
body was even more beautiful in person than it had been on my screen. I went back to kissing his
hip, teasing him as he fought for control. Then I moved off of him so that I was on my knees
between his open legs. I pressed my lips to his inner thigh and his back arched off the bed.
"Oh… God… " he breathed as he felt his hard sex slide slowly along my soft cheek.

"Edward?" I said softly and he looked down into my eyes. I kept my eyes locked on his as I took
him into my mouth. I moved my head forward, slowly taking him in deeper. Suddenly, he closed
his eyes and threw his head back into the pillow. He gave a loud open mouth groan, and I ran my
tongue over him. His hips started a slow, unconscious rhythm, setting the pace as he slid in and
out of my mouth. I tightened my lips around him, sucking softly as he moved. I wasn't sure that
this was how it was supposed to be done, but judging by his reactions I must have been doing
something right. I used one hand to stroke him where he didn't fit in my mouth. This caused him
to move his hips faster. He was groaning, almost grunting unrestrained as he tried to maintain
control.

"Bella…" he cried softly, and stopped his hips with some effort. "Bella… Stop…. I'm…." I
wrapped my arms around his hips and drove my mouth onto him forcefully. "Honey, move…
please… I'm so close…" I knew I wasn't going to move, I wanted to please him in every way that
I could. I gripped him tighter with my hand, stroking him as I pulled my head back to only suck
hard on the head. I ran my tongue over the tip as I stroked him. "Ohhhh… Oh… God, Bella!" he
cried as he thrust up into my mouth and exploded, losing all measure of control.

I crawled back up to lay next to him as he panted, his eyes closed. I laid my head on his shoulder
and asked in a small voice "Did I do it right?"

Edward POV

I pulled her against me, and put my hand on her cheek. I almost laughed at the absurdity of the
question as my heart continued to pound in my chest. It had been the most erotic, most exciting
thing that had ever been done to me. "That was incredible, love. Absolutely incredible." I kissed
her long and hard, and then whispered "Now it's my turn" and started to kiss her neck. My lips
and teeth grazed her ear and I said in a low voice "I love you, my Bella." I felt that love, that
conviction fill me. This moment was so right, so perfect with her.

I let my hand trail down to her breast, stroking her. She sighed and pushed her head back into the
pillow, arching slightly into my touch. I kissed softly over her shoulder, and then down her chest.
I wanted nothing more than to make her feel my love for her. I took her nipple into my mouth
and tested her. I loved listening to her moans, and cries knowing that I was pleasing her. I
wanted to make her feel what she'd made me feel. I took her breasts in my hands and squeezed
them as I teased her nipples. Her legs opened slightly to me, and I lay between them. I could feel
her hot and wet against my leg and I'm sure she could feel me hardening against her. I teased and
suckled her breasts until I felt her hips start to grind up against me. I knew then that she wanted
more, and I was definitely going to oblige.

I slid down the bed, and ran my mouth over her stomach. She could feel my hair tickling her, and

she unconsciously spread her legs father apart in anticipation. I chuckled softly. "Eager, are we?"
I asked in a low voice. Her response surprised me.

"Please… Edward…" she moaned as she wound her fingers in my hair. She seemed to be
guiding me. There was no subtlety in her request. She was apparently excited beyond the need
for shyness, or innuendo. I used my palms to spread her open to me, and pressed my face against
her sex. She moaned loudly, and bucked her hips up. I put my hands on her hips, holding her to
the bed as my tongue entered her soft folds. Her breathing started to come in gasps as I explored
her. I used my fingers first to open her, then to tease her. I slid two fingers into her as my tongue
circled her clit. Her legs trembled as I stretched her open, trying to ease the inevitable pain of
penetration. I added another finger and she rolled her hips violently into my hand.

I moved back up the bed quickly and kissed her as I positioned myself. I could feel her wet sex
against me, and I was painfully hard. "I'm so sorry." I whispered as I entered her slowly. I slid
into her until I could feel the skin of her hymen. I stopped so that her body could get used to my
size. My shoulders and arms were trembling, and then I heard her exhale. I pushed forward
gently, and felt myself break through. She sucked in a breath and I kissed her cheek and
whispered another apology as I froze again. I concentrated on how she felt around me to keep
myself from moving. I felt a tear on my lips as it rolled down her cheek. I kissed her again and
then dropped my head to her shoulder. I knew I was panting in her ear with the effort to remain
still; my arms were shaking as I held myself up.

She shifted beneath me, and her legs wrapped around my waist. Slowly, she pushed up into me,
and I felt myself going deeper. I groaned at the feeling. Then I started to move, as slowly as I
could. The friction our bodies were creating felt like heaven to me. This was so much more than
I thought it would be. To be close to her like this, to love her like this. I felt her turn her head to
me and kiss my hair, I lifted my head and pressed my lips to hers. We kissed deeply, letting the
depth of our emotion flow. When we broke apart, she whispered in my ear "Please…
Edward…." And then moaned softly "harder…"

What little control I had over myself broke with that one small word. The sound of it went
straight to the desire mounting in the pit of my stomach and I pushed hard into her. She
responded with an open mouthed moan, and I picked up my pace. I slid one hand between us,
and stroked her softly with each thrust. I felt her nails dig into my arms as she started to tremble
beneath me. I stroked her harder with my fingers trying desperately to hold on. I was so close. I
put my face next to hers and heard every one of her moans and cries as she did mine. Neither of
us had any measure of control now. We were both straining, searching for release. She found
hers first, and I felt her body go rigid under me. She cried my name as her back arched, nearly
lifting me off the bed with the power of her orgasm. I put both my arms under her shoulders, and
held her to me, feeling every inch of her as she came. It was too much for me, hearing her and
feeling her as she lost control beneath me. I gave a few more desperate thrusts into her as I felt
my orgasm rip through me. I buried my face in her neck crying out as it hit. I felt her wrap her
arms around me, holding me as I shuddered hard.

When my arms gave out I collapsed onto her, and then rolled onto my back pulling her to my
chest. "Ah, Bella." I said panted softly as I held her tightly to me. I reached down and pulled the

covers over us, and then cradled her face with my palm. "No one has ever made me feel like this.
I love you so much." I said earnestly. I didn't know how I was going to survive the next three
months without her. I wanted to hold her in my arms every night for the rest of our lives.

"I love you too, Edward." She said softly. "And I've never felt like this either. I… I…" she let out
a small sob and I looked at her quickly.

"Bella, honey, what's wrong?" I asked, pulling back to see her face.

"I'm going to miss you so much." She said softly. "I don't ever want to be apart from you
again…"

I awoke with a start to a loud beeping, and something vibrating on my leg. I looked around
disoriented, until my eyes fell on my bedside clock. It said 5:03, and by the looks of the curtains,
the sun was just starting to rise. I'd slept all day, and most of the night. I was going to kill my
father. What had I missed? I'm sure they'd have woken me if something had happened, but now
we're on the fifth day. I pulled my cell phone out of my jeans pocket and flipped it open without
checking the ID. I had two new texts. I checked the first one, and let out a loud heart-wrenching
scream.

It was a picture text, and it was of Bella and Libby. Bella was lying on her back in a dirty tank
top, her eyes closed and her hair matted. There was dried blood in her hair and on her face. Her
hands were bound with electrical tape in front of her. Libby was lying next to her, her little hand
on Bella's arm. Her eyes were also closed. The text read – "You're too late."

My bedroom door burst open, and my family was at my side. I was still screaming, and sobbing
when Emmett pried the phone from my hands. I heard his breath catch and he screamed for
Charlie. Charlie bounded in through the door, and took the phone from Emmett. I heard his soft
sob too as he saw his daughter's body on the screen. He was the only one who had the presence
of mind to check the second text. I heard another sob as he realized what it was – a text from my
wireless carrier with their location.


A/N: Tomorrow - the final chapter and epilogue.

(And yes, the most frequent request was Spring Break - I cut it down from 7 days to 5 days until
they were found, but I still couldn't torture Edward for that long, so I thought I'd give him a nice
drug-induced break. I didn't think he'd think about or dream about spring break while Bella was
in danger. It had to be sort of involuntary, and since he wouldn't sleep on his own...)


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Chapter: 25

A/N: Since you guys were so awesome in your reviews - I'll post a little early. Enjoy!




I was still screaming, and sobbing when Emmett pried the phone from my hands. I heard his
breath catch and he screamed for Charlie. Charlie bounded in through the door, and took the
phone from Emmett. I heard his soft sob too as he saw his daughter's body on the screen. He was
the only one who had the presence of mind to check the second text. I heard another sob as he
realized what it was – a text from my wireless carrier with their location.

Chapter 25 – DAY FIVE (Tuesday)

Edward POV

I felt a hand on my shoulder as I stopped throwing up. A dampened towel appeared before me
and I wiped my face. Finally, Charlie spoke. "Edward, son, are you coming?" His voice was low
and grave, but determined. I looked at his reflection in the mirror, with a steely determination of
my own and nodded.

As we walked out of the bathroom together, I asked "Are you going to tell the police about the
message?" He nodded.

"I'll call them from the road. They won't get there in time to stop us though. If Bella and Libby
really are… Well, Jacob Black won't live through the morning." He said gruffly.

"You really think there's a chance they're still alive?" I asked, incredulous. That bastard was
gloating. He'd murdered my whole family, and he was gloating about it. I was going to rip his
fucking heart out.

"The cop in me says that they probably aren't." He said, wiping the tear that had fallen down his
face. "But the father in me won't believe it until I see that there's no pulse. Maybe not even then."
I nodded. I knew exactly what he meant, though I couldn't see that there was any hope left.

We walked downstairs and saw Carlisle and Jasper holding Esme and Alice, kissing them
goodbye. They, along with Emmett, followed us out to Charlie's cruiser. Carlisle and Emmett
hopped into Em's jeep, and pulled up behind us. We were ready to leave within minutes. Charlie
plugged the location from my text message into the GPS, they were only 45 miles away. They
had been within an hour of us, and we just couldn't find them in time.

As Charlie followed the computer voice instructions, he called the officer in charge of our case
and filled him in. I heard the man on the other end of the phone yelling, practically pleading with
Charlie to let them handle. It was just a few seconds before Charlie snapped his phone shut. It
started to ring again almost immediately, he ignored it. Over the next few minutes, we rode in

silence. I was trying to mentally prepare myself for what I was going to have to do. I'd never
considered the possibility of taking a human life before. I consoled myself with the fact that this
bastard wasn't human. What human being would take the life of a 14 month old child? My
Libby, my angel, I could only pray that it had been quick – that she wasn't frightened… that she
didn't feel… I couldn't think about that. I thought about the picture of Bella. It broke my heart.
She must have been terrified. She never even knew about the baby. My baby, the baby we made
in love that I would never see. I felt the hatred and the rage building inside me, an inferno that
nothing would be able to quench, save the death of the monster that took my angels. They didn't
deserve this. Why didn't he just take me, kill me instead? It was me he wanted! Why them?

The rage had reached a fever pitch when Charlie pulled off of the highway onto a dirt road. We
were driving into trees now. The GPS indicated that the location was just a mile ahead. We
rolled in slowly and saw a cabin set back off of the road. There was a battered pickup on the side,
and we saw smoke furling from the chimney. As we pulled in front, Emmett had pulled his jeep
to the back. He was not going to get away from us, and he would beg for mercy before the end.

Charlie pulled the mic out of the cruiser window and said very clearly into it "Jacob, we have the
place surrounded. Come out quietly with your hands up." I saw movement behind the front
curtain. There was definitely someone in the cabin. Charlie spoke again "Boy, I knew your father
for 30 years. He would want you to own up to what you've done. Are you really going to
disappoint him like this?" I knew that Charlie would say anything to get Jacob out of the front
door so he could get a clear shot. I wanted to kill him myself, but whatever worked to get the job
done was okay by me. Maybe Jacob would have a weapon so Charlie could claim self-defense.

Just then, we heard tires coming up the road. Damn it, I thought, Charlie called them too soon.
And just as I suspected, a line of cruisers pulled in all around us, and some headed for the back
of the cabin. At least there would be no question of him getting the death penalty. And it wasn't
like he was going to get away. I walked over to the battered truck, and pulling out my pocket
knife, flattened all of the tires. I had seen it was loaded with supplies, and I wasn't taking any
chances.

The lead officer came over and put his hand on Charlie's shoulder. I heard him telling Charlie
that it was alright now. They were going to get him. Please just let them take over from here.
Jacob would be executed for what he'd done. Charlie's face hardened, but he didn't say anything.
The officer took the mic from Charlie and addressed the cabin himself.

"Jacob Black, this is Police Chief Ben Cheney. Thirty well trained and fully armed officers are
surrounding the cabin. If you resist, you will not survive. Give yourself up peacefully and you
will not be harmed. Give me a sign now that you hear and understand." He said in a calm voice.

After three full minutes, the front door opened. I saw Jacob standing there with his hands raised.
He looked out at us through the screen door, but did not move. He may have been scared; he may
have just been waiting for instructions. Chief Cheney spoke again "That's good Jacob, that's very
good. Open the door slowly, and come out towards us. Keep your hands up, and don't make any
sudden moves." Jacob leaned to the side so that his upper body was out of sight for a moment,
and then he opened the screen door. I nearly hit the ground when Bella walked past him and out

of the cabin slowly with Libby in her arms. I ran forward past the blockade of officers. I faintly
heard them yelling at me to stop, but I didn't. I crushed Bella in my arms, and kissed Libby's
face. They both started to cry. I pulled them back with me towards the cruisers.

The officers rushed in and took Jacob then. I saw them restrain him, and then I turned back to
Bella. The tears were streaming down my face, and I opened my mouth to tell her that I loved
her when I heard a deafening crack behind me. I felt a blinding pain in my back, and I saw the
look of horror on Bella's face. As I turned with the force of the shot that caught me, I saw a look
of triumph on Jacob's face. All of this happened so quickly that it took a minute to register Bella
and Libby's screams before I succumbed to the darkness.

Bella POV

There was nothing I could do to stop it. I saw Jacob struggle in the officer's grasp and reach for
his sidearm. Before I could get the words out to warn Edward, Jacob had gotten off a shot. It hit
Edward in the back, and I saw the look of shock on his face as he went down. Libby and I were
both screaming as he hit the ground. I looked up at the sound of another shot and saw my father
put a bullet through Jacob's chest. Jacob's look of triumph at finally beating Edward turned to a
grimace of horror as he fell.

Charlie had us in his arms and Carlisle had already started working on Edward by the time the
ambulance pulled around the cruisers. It had been sitting back off the road as a precaution, but
was called up immediately after the shots were fired. A second ambulance had been called for
Jacob, but he was already dead. Libby and I were treated in the second ambulance as the first one
raced Edward and Carlisle to the hospital. Emmett rode with us, holding me and Libby in his lap.
He kept telling me over and over that we were safe and that Edward would be okay. He told us
that he loved us, and that he missed us.

Jasper was stopping by the house to pick up Esme and Alice and bring them to the hospital. He
had also called Rosie and she would meet us there. The whole family would be at the hospital,
pulling for Edward. Please God, please let him be okay. If he dies, it will be my fault. God Damn
Jacob.

Elizabeth and I were held for observation. Thankfully, with Carlisle's influence at the hospital
Edward would be put in a room with us after he was out of surgery. Carlisle said that it was
touch and go, that the bullet hadn't pierced anything vital, but that they had to get it out. The first
24 hours would tell us. I made the nurses tend to Libby first, even though she wasn't hurt. They
cleaned her up, and gave her lunch and juice. She was so happy to be with Auntie Alice again,
and Alice was sobbing against Jasper as they held her and helped her eat lunch.

Next, as I gave my account to Charlie and the other officers, the nurses worked on me. They put
butterfly bandages on the cut on my head that I'd received hitting our CD shelf in the living
room. They also removed the bandages on my foot, and stitched it up from where I'd stepped on
the broken lamp trying to get away from Jacob. Jacob himself had never hurt me. He left me
bound because he knew that I would get back to Edward using any means necessary. The only
real issue I had was that he wouldn't let me shower. He was uncomfortable with the thought of

me being naked in front of him, but he wouldn't leave me alone long enough to take a shower.
He thought I would try and escape, if nothing else to let Edward know I was alive. I knew about
the message he had left for Edward on the DVD. He said that everyone would think Elizabeth
and I were dead and then we could 'start our new life together'. I didn't know anything about the
picture text of us sleeping until Charlie brought it up. I know that the heartbreaking message
from Edward on the news had unsettled Jacob. He wanted Edward to give up and stop looking.
He must have taken the picture with my phone while we slept last night. It broke my heart to
hear how it tore Edward, and the rest of my family to pieces. They had been through so much on
my account already.

So, I was in the shower now. I wanted to clean myself up so that I could see Edward when he
was brought back from surgery. I didn't want him to see me all dirty and bloody, that would just
frighten him. When I got out of the shower, I put on the sweats that Alice had brought me and
waited impatiently on the bed. The nurses had also brought me lunch, but I felt fairly nauseated
from the whole experience today, so I just drank the broth. Esme came over, and sat with me.
She put her arms around me, and told me that she loved me. She said that everything would be
okay now that Libby and I were back with them. She stroked my hair and I felt somewhat
comforted. I just wanted to know that Edward was okay.

Finally after six hours of surgery and recovery, they wheeled Edward into the room. He was
propped up partially on his side so that he wasn't lying on the surgical site. I jumped out of my
bed and ran over to him. He was still groggy from the anesthesia. I crawled up into the bed with
him and put my arms around him. He put his arms around me, and put his head on my shoulder.
He fell asleep within a few minutes, and I fell asleep soon after. It had been a long and trying
day, and I didn't want to over exert myself and have issues later. The last thing I needed right
now was a seizure.

Edward POV

I woke up in a state of complete disorientation. The first thing I noticed was that it was dark. The
windows to the outside of this room were dark, and the lights were off. The second thing that I
noticed was the stabbing pain in my back. I reached back and felt the bandage. I tried to move,
and that's when I noticed the third thing. Bella was in my arms. "Bella!" I cried, and she woke up
with a start. I held her tightly against me, ignoring the pain. "Oh… my Bella." I said, the tears
falling again. I stroked her face, her hair, everything I could reach. I couldn't believe she was
here, alive, and in bed with me.

She sat up a little and looked around; she appeared to be a little disoriented herself. She looked at
me then, and sighed. "I missed you so much." She said, and she tightened her arms around me
gingerly, trying not to hurt me. It started to come back to me then. I remembered them walking
out of the cabin, and holding them. I remembered the pain in my back, and then nothing else. She
could fill me in later, for now I just had to know that she was okay.

"Love, I missed you so much. Are you alright? Is Libby okay?" I asked, finally getting my
bearings. I looked her over and she didn't appear to be severely injured. I saw a cut on her
forehead, but otherwise she looked unscathed.

"Me? I'm fine, sweetheart. Libby is okay too, Alice took her so that we could sleep. But, you
were the one that was shot, how are you?" She asked, incredulous. I waved off her question,
other than a little pain in my back I was fine. Apparently no one had told her about the pregnancy
yet. For that, I was kind of thankful. I would get to be the one to tell her that we were having a
baby.

"I'm fine, really. There's just a little pain in my back. Bella, did you have any seizure related
problems while you were… gone?" I asked, not knowing any other way to put it. 'Missing' or
'Kidnapped' seemed like harsh words to use with her so close after her ordeal.

"No. Jacob never hurt me, and had read my blogs so he knew what triggers to avoid. He didn't
want me seizing any more than I did." She said with a look of relief on her face.

"Thank God." I said softly. "I was so scared for you. We can talk about that in a minute though;
there is something I have to tell you." She looked frightened then. "No, honey, it isn't bad. Well,
at least I don't think it is." I said, using the same words that she had used with me when she told
me about Libby. She must not have realized because she cocked her head to the side and looked
at me with questions blazing in her eyes. "Dr. Weber called on Saturday to let us know that…
Well, that… We're having a baby." I said softly, and put my hand to her cheek. She looked at me
with wide eyes full of panic.

"That's not possible, I've been on the pill since high school." She said, her voice shaking. "I can't
be pregnant… I can't…." Her voice started to get higher as she started to cry. "I can't even take
care of myself. How am I supposed to carry and take care of another child?" I wrapped my arms
more tightly around her.

"Well," I said softly, trying to calm her. "to begin with, we are going to work with Dr. Weber so
that you can carry the baby safely. We were so scared that the trauma of… well, of your
kidnapping would cause you to have a seizure and miscarry. As for what's going to happen after
you have the baby, we are going to hire a live-in nanny to help you care for Elizabeth and the
new baby. And we will all be there with you every step of the way. We will handle it, like we
handle everything else. I love you so much, Bella." I finished, kissing her gently. "We're going to
be okay, love."


A/N: Okay, okay stop PM'ing me – I'll leave it up to you. :) I have been thinking about it over
the weekend, and I do think I have enough material for a sequel instead of just an epilogue as
some of you have so vociferously requested. It won't be the danger filled experience this one
was, but I think between his back injury, her head injury, the new baby, and their future career
options I can make a sufficiently interesting story. I can throw in Alice's wedding, the cruise and
all kinds of fun stuff.

Review and let me know your preference – Epilogue or Sequel.

If I get enough 'Sequel' preferences, I'll do that – otherwise it will be an Epilogue.

Next Project Information:

Also for any of you that are Harry Potter fans, I'm currently researching my next project. As
some of you know, this story was kind of a practice run to get the kinks out of my writing style.
What I want to do next is a prequel about the marauders. The story will start with Lupin's
acceptance to Hogwarts, and end with his death. It won't be specifically Lupin POV, but that
sounded like a good place to start and end with what I have in mind.

I will be taking on a Beta this time to not only help me catch grammatical and logical mistakes,
but Harry Potter 'fact' mistakes. I'm using the Lexicon for most of my background fact checking.
If you're interested in applying, let me know. I'll start actual writing on it after the first of the
year.


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Chapter: 26


A/N: Wow – over 500 reviews. Just for that, you guys get your wish and you'll get both. Here is
the epilogue which will transition you into the sequel. Thanks for all of your reviews and
support!


"We will handle it, like we handle everything else. I love you so much, Bella." I finished, kissing
her gently. "We're going to be okay, love."

Epilogue – Moving Forward

Edward POV

"BELLA! PLEASE… NO!" I shot straight up in bed and looked wildly around me. Bella
wrapped her arms around me, and ran her fingers through my hair trying to calm me.

"Honey, it was just a dream." She said softly as I wiped my face with a shaking hand.
"Everything is okay." She continued to stroke my hair as I lay back down beside her. I reached
for her, and she snuggled against me. I could feel my heart thudding in my chest. She held me
until I finally stopped shaking, and then I kissed her forehead and sighed.

"I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry that I woke you." I said softly, pulling out of her arms and grabbing
my robe. I left the bedroom quietly and made my way downstairs. I fell in a huff onto the couch,
putting my head in my hands. It had been four weeks since that horrific five day ordeal, and I

was still unable to shake the nightmares. I stared blankly at the aquarium across from me trying
to rid myself of the dream. They weren't always the same dream. Sometimes I dreamt of him
torturing Libby, some nights I dreamt of Bella's broken body on the text, other times I dreamt of
being shot. Each time, I woke Bella from a sound sleep and she comforted me. It wasn't fair to
her. She was having her own difficulties adjusting.

The aquarium was soothing, so I kept staring at it. After watching Nemo swim around the sunken
ship for the 50th or 60th time, I felt my eyes start to close. I lay down on the couch and pulled a
nearby quilt over me. Thankfully, I was able to finish out the night without seeing any of the
appalling images that haunted me. The sun had risen fully when I woke the next morning, to the
sound of Bella coming down the stairs.

Bella POV

I looked over when I reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Edward sleeping on the couch. I
sighed. For the last four weeks he has been treating me like a porcelain doll, terrified that I'm
going to break. It's really starting to annoy me. I want for us to start getting back to something
like a normal life, well normal for us anyway. He spent the first two weeks after that nightmare
with Jacob in the hospital recovering from his injury. I know he's still in a lot of pain which
makes his sleeping on the couch absolutely ridiculous. But for the past two weeks since he's been
home, it's been an almost nightly ritual. He wakes up from a dream, he apologizes for waking
me, and he comes down to finish out a restless night on the uncomfortable couch.

I started working on breakfast, and as I was buttering the toast I felt two strong arms encircle my
waist. "Jasper!" I said in a loud whisper. "Edward is in the next room! I told you to wait until he's
gone." Then I giggled as Edward growled into my neck.

"That was not funny." He said in a low voice, and then slapped me lightly on the bottom. I
moaned softly.

"Tease." I said lightly, and put the toast on his plate. "Take this and go sit down before I do
something to you that you're going to regret." I smiled wickedly at him and he made his way
over to the table. I followed him with my own plate and sat very lightly on his lap. "Whoops,
didn't see you there." I giggled. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my neck softly for a
minute before letting me go so I could sit in the next chair.

"Soon, love. I should be cleared for 'active duty' at the six week mark." He said with a smile, and
reached out to hold my hand. "Bella, I'm wondering if maybe until then I shouldn't start sleeping
in the spare bedroom." My head shot up, and I searched his face. "I don't want to keep waking
you up with my nightmares every night. It's not good for you; it's not good for the baby. I have
no idea how long this is going to last."

"Edward, Dr. Weber put me on a mild anti-convulsant to deal with the possibility of a seizure.
The lack of sleep isn't going to hurt me or the baby. I would be lying if I said that it didn't scare
me to hear you like that. If it was me, you wouldn't let me go through it alone though – would
you? You need to stop treating me like I'm fragile." I said, a little sardonically. "I'm not going to

break, and I'm not going to freak out."

He looked down at the table, and squeezed my hand. "I think I'm going to talk to someone." He
said softly. "I… I'm having a hard time dealing with this. I keep seeing horrible things in my
head, and not just while I'm sleeping." I reached over and tilted his chin up with my fingers. His
eyes looked haunted. They were full of pain, like he was seeing those images playing in his
mind's eye. There were dark shadows beneath them, a constant reminder of his nightly torment.

"Would you like to go together?" I asked softly, watching his expression. He looked pensive for
just a second, and then… hopeful.

"Would you do that?" he asked just as softly. He sounded like a lost little boy. I can't imagine
what toll those days had taken on him. Even with Libby and me back safe in his arms, he hadn't
lost that anxious look. After the accident, the coma, and the kidnapping, he was always waiting
for the next great catastrophe to befall us. Maybe therapy would help break him out of the
mindset that we were destined to be tormented forever.

"Yes, Edward. I think that therapy would be beneficial – to both of us. We have gone through so
much over the last two years; maybe a therapist could help us make sense of it. They might also
have a method, or some kind of medication to help control your nightmares and give you a
peaceful night's sleep." I said, with some measure of hope.


A/N: Okay, I will get my material together and organized. (That was one thing about "New Life"
– I always felt so terribly disorganized) I should start the sequel before the holidays. I have
pages of idea notes for things I want to happen, but I need to think it through. I'll pop an author's
note at the end of this story when the sequel is up so you'll know to look for it on my profile page.


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Chapter: 27


A/N: The sequel is up so that you can set up alerts if you wish. It is called 'Inevitable Aftermath'
and there is a short Prologue posted for the sole purpose of making you crazy until I start writing.
I hope that Aftermath will justify your continued faith in me.