forJackBrittonSullivan
YoucameintomylifewhenIwassureIdidn’tneedanyone.Especiallya
man.YoushowedmeIdidneedsomeone,butsomeonewhowouldletme,be
me.Thankyou.

T

ABLE

OF

C

ONTENTS

ChapterOne

ChapterTwo

ChapterThree

ChapterFour

ChapterFive

ChapterSix

ChapterSeven

ChapterEight

ChapterNine

ChapterTen

ChapterEleven

ChapterTwelve

ChapterThirteen

ChapterFourteen

ChapterFifteen

ChapterSixteen

ChapterSeventeen

ChapterEighteen

ChapterNineteen

ChapterTwenty

ChapterTwenty-One

ChapterTwenty-Two

ChapterTwenty-Three

ChapterTwenty-Four

C

HAPTER

O

NE

“EGGSDON’TGATHER themselves,” were the familiar words my momma called out at five a.m. this
morning, as she swung open our bedroom door. I shared a room with my three sisters. Always had. We
livedinahousewithonlyfiverooms,twoofthosebeingforbeds.

YawningIwonderedifI’devergettosleeplate.Justonedayinmylifehaveachancetosleeppast

seven.Oh,whatatreatthatwouldbe.

“Stopdaydreamingandgogettheeggs.SammyJo,didyouhearme?Mommawillgotoholleringina

fewminutesifthey’renotinthekitchen.DoIgottodoeverythin’aroundhere?”Millywastheoldestof
the four of us. She just turned nineteen this past September. We thought she might get married to that
GarnerboybutheranofftojointheMarines.Nooneexpectedthat.EspeciallyMilly,didn’tseeitcoming.
However,IthinkmommawasmoreletdownthanMilly.Shewashopingforonelessmouthtofeed.

“Areyoulistening?”sheyelledatmethistime.
Sighing,IcoveredyetanotheryawnandglaredatMillyaboveme.Sheactedbossy,buttruthofitis,

I’monlyelevenmonthsyoungerthanher.IwouldturnnineteenthisAugust.“Ihearyou.Jesus,stopwith
theyapping,”Igrumbledandlightlycoughed.

Hazelgiggledbehindme.Iturnedmyheadtowinkatmysister.AtonlytenyearsoldHazelwasthe

youngestandIthoughtshe’dbethebabyforever,daddyhavingpassedonfromskincancer,whichseemed
tofreezeherintime.MakeHazelforeverthebaby.Thenthreeyearsagomommahookedupwithaman
traveling through town and all he left her was a swollen tummy. Now, none of us wish it any different.
Henryisadoredbythelotofus.

“I’mnotmilkingthedamncowagain,”Bessysaid,stompingherfeet,puttingbothherhandsonher

hips with all of Bessy’s dramatic flair. “I did it last week. It’s someone else’s turn.” Bessy was fifteen and
exhausting.Ireallyhopedsheendeduponastage.Shewouldbeasuperstarwithallthatdramathatcomes
sonaturaltoher.

“You’rescaredofthechickens,”Millyremindedher.“Milkthecoworgofeedthehogs.Yousaidthey

stunklastweek.Makeupyourmindandstopcussinglikeaman.”

Ifinishedgatheringtheeggsandheadedforthehouse.Thosetwowouldbickerovercowsforseveral

moreminutesatleast.WhenmommayelledIdidn’twanttrouble.IhadplanstonightandIneededherin
amood,thebestonecurrentlypossible.

“ComebackandhelplittleDivawiththemilking,”Millycalledoutafterme.
Iignoredher.Shewasn’tmyboss.

Opening the screen door I stepped into the kitchen. Momma’s back was to me as she cut the

shorteningandbutterintotheflourforbiscuits.“Wantmetoputthepotroastintheslowcooker?”Iasked
tryingtobehelpful.Overlyhelpfulmindyou.

“Ireckonweneedtodothat.Vilmadidn’tsayhowolditwassoIdon’twantaroastgoingbad.Was

niceofhertobringitoverlikethat.Somethingtosayforgoodneighbors.”

Maybeso,goodneighbors,butthisheretownwasnotmyideaofalife.IwantedoutofMoulton.Out

ofAlabama.Anywherebuthere.Therewasabigol’worldwaitingtomeetmeandmydreamwastoseeit
all.OrasmuchasIcouldinalife.

IpulledmypaleblondehairintotherubberbandIkeptonmywristasahabit.Themorningbreeze

hadtangledmyhair.Ididn’tcare,Iwaslowmaintenance,I’dbrushthewadsoutlater.Ihadsomesucking
up to my momma to do to convince her to let me go with Jamie and Ben to a concert. Tonight in
Cullman,AlabamawasRocktheSouthandtheyhadanextraticket.I’dneverbeentoaconcertbefore.

“Momma,whattimedoyouhavetogotowork?”Iasked,pullingouttheslowcooker,lookingfor

thingstobedone,thoughI’maworkerandsheexpectsthis.

“Needtobeatthebakerybyeight.Saragotthereatfivethismorningtostartthemorningpastries.

I’moncupcakesandcookiestoday.ThoughtI’dtryanewbananabreadtoo.Thosealwayssellgood,no
matter.”

MommahadbeenworkingforSweethouseBakeryforovertwelveyearsthismonth.Someweeksshe

didthemorningshiftandwewereleftwithMillytowakeus.Thosedayswerenotmyfavorite.

“You’re working the front counter from nine to four. Be early Sammy Jo. I left a list of things for

BessyandHazeltodoaroundthehouse.Bessyneedstokeepaneyeontheroast.Thelististhereonthe
table.”

“Yesma’am,”Ireplied,walkingovertothetable,jottingdownBessy’schore.
WhileIworkedwithmommaatthebakery,Millywenttocosmetologyschool.Shepassedherexams

andhadanewjobattheonlyhairsalonintown,theoneandonlytoeverexist.Shedidn’thavetogoto
workuntilteneverymorningbutsheoftenworkedtillseven.Sometimesworkedrightpastit.Ihadno
ideathereweresomanyheadstocutandgroomandstyle.Therewerebarelyoverthreethousandresidents
inMoulton,Alabamaproper.Howahairsaloncouldstaythatbusywasbeyondmyimagination.Where
werethesefolksgoing?ThebakerysatcloseenoughtothemainroadheadedfromCullmantoFlorence.
Thatgaveitcommutertraffic.ButahairsaloninMoulton,Alabamaseemedplainsillytome.Allfolksdo
isstareateachother,inthestreet,atchurchorhome.Iftheywerebald,they’ddothesamething.

“Momma! Momma! I lost my fwog!” Henry called to her as he burst through the door with dirt

smearedonhisfacealready,hisbottomlippoochedandtrembling.

“Gowashupandgetreadyforbreakfast.Morefrogswherehecamefrom.Youcancatchonelater.”

Her response was unconcerned. I made a mental note to help Henry find a frog after breakfast, if not
sooner.

Hisbottomlipstayedpoochedashenoddedhisheadthenwalkedbacktothebathroom.Mommahad

neverbabiedhim,buthesuregotenoughfromhissisters.

“IsBessyandHazelwatchingHenrytodayorishegoingtothebakerywithus?”Iaskedchoppingup

thecelerytoaddtotheroast,takinganibblenowandthen.

“Bessycanwatchhim.Hehatesbeingthere.Saysthewomenpinchathischeeks.Makes‘emeatupall

theprofits.”

Heatehisweightincookiesandmommahatedthat.ButtherewasnothingmuchforHenrytodoat

thebakerywhereHenryhadactuallybeenborn.Mommahadn’tbeenabletotakedaysoffattheendof
herpregnancythen.Weflatneededthemoneytoeat.MillyandIhadbeenworkingafterschooltohelp
butitwasn’tenough.Whenmomma’swaterbroketherehadbeennotimetogethertoCullmantothe
hospital.HenrywasbornonthetilefloorwiththehelpofSaraandVilma.

Ifeltbadformomma.Thewholesituation.Shehadababywithherbabiesaroundher,nofatherthere

tohelp.AfterlosingmydaddyIdidn’tfigureamancouldliveuptohismemory.Butstill…Iwonderedif
mommahadbeenscared.Shesuredidn’tseemtobe.

That day I made a promise to myself. I wouldn’t have a baby on the floor of a bakery without its

daddyaround.I’dmarryamanwholovedmeandcouldgivemetheworldinpieces.Whenourbabywas
born he’d be holding my hand safely nestled somewhere else, likely in a hospital in New York City,
Chicago,Boston,ormaybeSeattle,anywherebuthere.

C

HAPTER

T

WO

THESMELLOFstrawberrycupcakesfilledtheairofthebakerymakingmystomachrumble.Ilonged,
butcouldnottaste.Mommawouldslapmyhand.ShecouldtellwhenIwantedtotouchone.Insidethe
cakewerefreshstrawberriesandtheicingwasmadewithcreamcheese.Homemade,notfromthecarton.
I’dwatchedmommamakethemmanytimes.Ialwayswantedtolickthespoon,butnevergotthechance.

ItwasaftertwoandIhadn’tgotthenervetoaskmommaifIcouldgototheconcert.Ikeptwaiting

tocatchherwhenshewasn’tsobusy,butshe’dbeenworkingmostoftheday,sweatingandstraininginthe
kitchen,skippinglunchtostayahead.Therehadn’tbeenagoodtimetoaskher.Mommacouldnotstop.

Thebellabovethedoorchimed,snappingmeoutofmycupcakegaze.Iquicklystoodupfrommy

stoolandgotmysmileinthegreetingposition.MybreathcaughtjustalittleasItookinthemaninfront
ofme.Hewastallandalsobeautiful,andhedressedandsmelledexpensive.Icouldsmellhisexpensiveness
overthecupcakesandthatwassayingalot.Menlikehimdidn’twalkintohere,notabakeryinMoulton,
Alabama.

“Hello,”Isaidcheerily.“Wehavefreshstrawberrycupcakesthatjustcameoutoftheoven.There’s

alsowarmappletartsandblueberrymuffinswithblueberriesthatcameoffthefarm,straightouttaMable
Richards’field.”AlthoughInormallytoldeveryonewhowalkedinthebakerywhatwehadavailable,Ifelt
silly saying it to him. He didn’t seem like the kind to eat any of that stuff. I’d imagined he drank
champagne,atecaviar,orsomethinglikethat.

“Oh,andwehavebanananutbread.It’snewandIhaven’thadany,butmymommanevermakes

anythingfromscratchthatain’tjustperfectlydelicious.”Ihadtoaddthatandsoundevensillier.Andthat
wasprettysilly.

His gaze stopped scanning the small tiny bakery and then it locked on me. His eyes were green.

Aroundthemclearwhite.Notthedarkgreenthatalmostlooksbrown,butlightgreen,likelightongrass.
The kind that makes you want to stare right at them, while they’re staring right at you. For a long long
time,orforeverandever,eitheronewasfine.

“Whatdoyousuggest?”WhenhisdeepvoiceaskeditwasthicklikethewhiskeyI’dtriedwithBenthat

time.He’dsnuckitoutofhisdad’sprivatestash.

“Huh?”Thatwasallthatcameoutofmymouth.Thatman’svoicewasintoxicating.Heevensounded

expensive I tell you. I hadn’t known people could sound expensive. Like he had gold in his stomach or
something.

AgrintuggedathislipsandIcaughtmyselfsmilingbackathim.Ibethisfullsmilewassomething

else.“WhatitemdoyousuggestItry?”Herepeatedhimselfandoh,themanwastryingtoorder.Ishook
my head to clear it then glanced down at the cupcakes waiting there. “The strawberry cupcakes are
delicious.Imean,uh,Ithinktheyare.TheysmellsogoodandhavefreshstrawberriesandIimaginethey
tasterealnice.”

“I’lltakethree,”hereplied.
Ibeamed.Hewasgoingtolovethem.“Okay,”Isaid,reachingforaboxbeforeslippingontheplastic

gloves.Wehadtowearthemwhentouchingthefood.

“Doyouservecoffee?”heasked.
Inodded.“Ohyes!Wehaveafreshpoton.I’llgetyoualargeifyoulike?”
“Thankyou,”heresponded.
Iwantedtolookbackathim,butIkeptmyattentiononmytask,triednottodropanything.“Does

yourmommaowntheplace?”HisvoiceinterruptedmyconcentrationandIalmostdroppedthecupcakes.

“Mymomma?”Irepeatedthenlaughedalittle.“No,mymommajustworkshere.Surewishshecould

ownaplacelikethis.She’dberealgoodatit.”

Iplacedhisboxofcupcakesonthecounterthenputhiscoffeerightbesideit.“That’llbesevendollars

andfifty-twocents.”Ifoldednapkinsontopoftheboxandgoofilysmiledwithembarrassment.

Fromafist-sizedwadhepulledaten-dollarbillandhandeditacrossthecounter.“Keepthechange,”

hesaid.

Thatwastwodollarsandforty-eightcentshewasleavingbehindforatip.Whyintheworldwouldhe

dothat?Istartedtospeakwhenheopenedtheboxandwithdrewafreshbakedcupcake.Thesmellhitmy
noseandIinhaleddeeply,hetakinganapkinandhiscoffeeinhandandhewasreadytotestmyopinion.

“Ifit’sasgoodasyousayitis,I’msureI’llberightback.”Hethenturnedtoleavekindofslowly.His

boxwiththeothertwocupcakessatonthecounterasplaced.Ipickedthemupandthencalledout.“You’re
forgettingyourothercupcakes!”

Hestoppedatthedoorandturnedbacktomegrinning.Arealsmilecreptacrosshisface.“Ibought

thoseforyou,”hereplied.Thenheleft.Justlikethat.WalkedawaybeforeIcouldevensaythankyou.

Ilookeddownatthecupcakesandmymouthbegantowater,butIwouldn’teatthemboth.I’dtake

onehomeforHenry.Mommamaynotbethrilledaboutit,butthemanboughtthecupcakesforme.I
didn’taskhimtoandHenrywouldloveitandthat’sallIneededtoknow.

Opening the box back up I lifted a cupcake out. Then I took my very first bite. It melted on my

tonguelikesugar.Mytoescurledinmyshoes.

“SammyJowhatareyoudoing!”Mymomma’svoicestartledmetoshaking.WhenIopenedmyeyes

toseeher,shewasglaringatmewiththatspecialmommastare,likeanaughtychildhadbeencaught.

“It’smine,”Ireplied,mymouthstillfulloftheyummygoodnessIwasholding.“Amanjustbought

threeandleftmetwo.”IfinishedchewingwishingIcouldsavorthetasteleftinmymouth.

“Amandidwhat?”sheasked,herhandsonherhipsasshehuffed.
“Aman,”Isaidpointingatthedoor.“Hewasjustinhere,justnow.HeaskedmewhatI’dbuyifit

wereuptomeandItoldhimthestrawberrycupcakes.Sohethenboughtthreewithacoffee.Hetookone
out,saidtheotherswereforme,andwalkedrightoutthedoor.”

Mommasighedandshookherheadthenmumbledsomething.Shewasn’thappy,butIwaseatingmy

cupcake,soIwashavingahardtimecaring.

“Iwon’teatboth.I’mtakingHenrytheother.”IfiguredmentioningHenrywouldsoftenherup.It

didn’tsoftenherany.

“Youshouldn’tallowstrangementobuyyouthings.Menonlybuywomengifts,becausethey’reafter

sexandthewayyoulook”-sheshookherfingeratmeandfrowned-“youcanseeinamirrorjustfine.The
Lorddecidedtogiveyouallthemlooksandmennoticethemforwhattheywant.Ain’tgotnothingtodo
withyou.Andyougottobecarefulaboutit.”

Ihadheardthislecturebefore.Aboutmenwantingmeandmeneedingtoprotectmyselffromthe

predators about. Daddy had warned me when I started junior high. He said, “you’re too pretty for your
owndamngoodandI’dhatetohavetoshootsomeboy,forforgettin’you’remychild.”

“HewalkedoutbeforeIcouldstophim.Momma,hewasrich.Heevensmelledexpensive.Hewon’t

becomingbackaroundhere.Peopleheredon’tlooklikehim.”

Mommafrownedandstaredatthedoor.“He’llbeback.Hegotalookatyou.That’sallittakesto

return.”Shethenturnedandheadedbacktothekitchen.

Iwasn’tsurehowIfeltaboutmyveryownmommathinkingmenallwantedme.Ididn’tparticularly

believeIwasreallythatattractive,especiallytoamanlikethatone.

C

HAPTER

T

HREE

IKNEWAFTERthecupcakeincidentmommawouldsaynototheconcert.ButI’dheldouthopeand
askedanywayandyep,shesaidno.Sheneededmehomeforshellingpickedpeasandcanningthemafter
that.InJunepartsofthegardenwerereadyandeachmonthwehadthingstoputup.Weatefromour
gardenallwinter.NextmonthwouldbetomatoesandIhatedcanningthem.ButIalsohatedshellingpeas.

Millyhadbeenaskedonadate.RobbieLongwashisnameandsincemommawashopingtomarry

heroffrealsoon,shelethergohopinghewouldask.Therestofusweresittingundertheoakshellingpeas
andchattingamongstus.EvenHenrywasshellingaway.

Technically, Ben had been a date. Sure we had been friends forever and we weren’t about to get

married,butstill,itseemedunfair.Icouldn’tdateatall.Insteadmyfingersweregettingrawfromthehulls
andwestillhadseveralmorestepstogobeforewecouldsleep.

Ihadtoadmit,iftellingthetruth,thatthecupcakewascompletelyworthit.Henryagreedwiththat.

Mostoftheicingendeduponhisface,whichmadehimevencuter.Asifthatwaspossibletodo.

“Tellmeaboutthecupcakeman.Again,tellitoncemore.”Bessywasstarryeyedaboutthewholeidea.

Youmightsayslightlypossessed.

“Nothingtotell,”mommareplied,withagrumbleandasnapofherfingers.
Bessy looked disappointed. She knew not to push momma when she sounded like that. I knew the

samesoIdidn’t.

“Iwantannudercupcate,”Henrysaid,smilingatthelastofhiswords.
“Onyourbirthday,”mommareplied.
Thatsenthimintosingingthehappybirthdaysongandhesangitandsangitandsangit.
“WhendoIgettoworkatthebakery?”BessyaskedandBessyknewtheanswer.Shewouldn’tgetto

workthereanytimesoon.MommaneededhertowatchlittleHenryduringthesummermonths.Ididn’t
saythattoher.Shehadn’tbeenaskingme.

“WhenSammyJomarriesandmoveson,”wasmomma’squickreply.
Visions of me marrying a man and “moving on” danced in my head and I smiled. That was my

favoritedaydream.Problemwasnoonearoundherewasgoingtosweepmeoffmyfeet.Ortakemeoutof
thistown.They’dalldiehereinMoulton.Spendtheirlivesbarelyleavingandtheirliveswouldbedone.I
washeadedinthatdirection.

“She’spicky.LotsofguysaskheroutbutSammyJonevergoes,”Bessysaid,frowningatme.“She’s

theprettiestgirlinthistownbutsheneverdatesanyboys.”

IhadheardthisbeforeandIwastiringofdefendingmyselfonthesubject.
“No guy in this town can get me away. I want to see the world. I don’t want to set up house in

MoultonandspitoutbabiestillI’mold.”

Bessyrolledhereyes.“Ain’tnothingwrongwiththat.Yourlooksgotyouallhighfalutin’.Youthink

youdeservemorethanmeanditain’tfairyouknow.IfI’dbeenbornwithyourblondehair,bigboobs
anddancer’slegs,I’dhavemeamanalreadywithahousealltomyself.”

IwantedBessytodreambiggerthanthat,butlikeMillythatwasn’tpossible.
“Idon’tjustwantaman.Iwantanepicromance.”
Bessylaughedandtossedanemptyshellintothetrashwithdisgust.“You’vebeenreadingtoomany

books.”

“That’s enough,” momma said. “I’m tired of hearing this.” She handed me a gallon sized bucket of

peasalreadyshelled.“Gooninsidewiththese.Vilmalentmeherfancypressurecanner.Saidit’ssafertouse
thantheoldone.Gofigureitout.Getitgoing.Sheleftdirectionsbesideit.”

Thiswasmomma’swaytogetridofme.Shewantedquietonthesubjectofmarriage.Notoncehad

sheevercorrectedmeforwantingoutofhere.Sheseemedtoagreewithme.AndIthinkshebelievedI’d
achieveit.Iwould.Yes,Iwould.

“Meonttogotoo,”Henrysaid,runningtowardmeandsmiling.
“That’sfine.Stayawayfromthecanning.Youcouldgethurt,”mommatoldhim.
IreturnedlittleHenry’sgrin.“I’llletyouhelpmefillthejarswithpeas.”
HeclappedlikethatwasexcitingandIguesstohimitwas.FunnythingwasIhatedpeas.Everyjarwe

canned meant I’d have to eat them at some point along the way. I’d much rather be canning fruit. Or
makingstrawberrypreserves.ThenIcouldappreciatethehardwork.

WhenIsteppedinsidethephonewasringing.Isatthepotofpeasonthetableandhurriedtopickit

up.

“Hello”
“Hey,Sam,Jamiesaidyoucouldn’tgotonight.ThoughtI’dcallandseeifIcouldchangeyourmind.

Igotthatticketforyou.Hatetogiveittosomeoneelse.”

BenwasthesweetestguyIknew.HehadmovedtoMoultontolivewithhisdadwhenhewasinthe

fourthgrade.JamieandIhadbeenbestfriendssincekindergarten.Wesawtheshylittleboywithglasses
andIpulledhimintoourpack.Thethreeofushadbeencloseeversince.

ExceptsometimesIfeltlikeBenmightwantmorethanthat.AtleastlatelyIfeltthatway.Hetreated

medifferentthanJamie.ShehadbroughtitupafewtimesandIhadtriedtochangethesubject.Butshe
wasn’ttheonlyonepickingthatup.Benwasdefinitelyactinginterested.Likehehadaspotlightonme.

“Mommahasuscanningpeastonight.YouknowhowmuchIlovethat.”Iaddedsarcasmtomyvoice

sohewouldunderstandthatIhadreallywantedtogowiththem.

“Thatsucks.Youdon’tthinkIcouldtalkherintolettingyougo?”heaskedwithhopeinhistone.
IfItriedtogetmommainheretochatshemightputmeinthepressurecanner.“Uh,no.Shealready

hasmeinsidestartingthecanningprocess.MillyMayisonadateandthat’stheonlychildmommacan
sparetonight.Sheneedsmehere.Ireallywantedtogo.Thankyoufortheinvite.”

MaybeitwasbestthatIwasn’tgoing.Ididn’twantBentogetthewrongidea.He’dalwaysjustbemy

friend.Oneofmybestfriendseverandthere’ssomethingtosayforthat.

“Yeah, okay. I understand. Jerry’s wanting to go so he can have your ticket. I’ll miss you though, I

will.”

Nota“wewillmissyou,”butan“Iwillmissyou.”Yikes…Ihadtogetusbacktothewaywewere.

MaybeIcouldfixBenupwithagirlintownorsomethinglikethat?

“That’sagoodidea.Jerrywillloveit.Y’allhavefun,”Itoldhim.
“Bye, Sam.” His voice held a touch of sadness. Me not going was that sadness in his voice. That

frightenedandscaredmeItellyou.

“Bye,”Ireplied,thenquicklyhungup.IhadtotalktoJamieaboutthis.WeneededtofixBenupwith

someoneelseandfast.Ididn’twanttoloseafriendshipbecauseBenmightthinktherewasmoretousin
the future. He was my buddy. He needed to remember that. Ben was Moulton. He’d never leave. I had
dreams.Andtheyweren’tinthistown.

C

HAPTER

F

OUR

I HADN’T EXPECTED to see Ben and Jamie walking in the door of the bakery the next morning.
Althoughitwasalmostlunchtimeitwasstillearlyforthem.Iwassuretheirnighthadbeenalateone.I
wantedtohearwhathadhappened,butnotwithmommaaround.

“Heyy’all,”Isaid,happytoseethem.
Jamie immediately chimed in about the smell: “God it smells like heaven in here. I’d weigh two

hundredpoundsifIworkedhere.Istruggleenoughasitis.Howyouworkinthisbakeryanddon’tgetfat
isunfairyoupreciousthing.”Jamiealwaysfussedaboutherweight.Shewasn’tfat,Jamiewascurvy.She
alwaysbattledtoshedfifteenpoundsbutIthoughtshewasfinelikeshewas.

“Ifyouhadmymommayou’dnotgainweight,”Iwhispered,cuppingmyhandovermymouth.
Benfrownedandlookedatthelemoncupcakesalongsidetheblueberrymuffins.Besidethemwerethe

appletarts.“Shameshewon’tletyoueatthat.”

“Noit’snot.It’sagiftfromGod.She’dbefatifshecould,”Jamieargued,slappinghisarminaway

thatseemedlessfriendly,more“lookatme,”whichwasinterestingandintriguingIadmit.

“Samdoesn’teatenoughtogetfat.Andshehardlyeversitsstill.”Benarguedasifheweredefending

myweight.Thenhiseyesshotacrossmereallyfast.Likeashadoworabeamfromthesun,asiftoseeifI’d
reallyheardhim.

Jamierolledhereyes,butsheseemedalittlehurt,annoyedyoumightsay.MaybeIwasreadingtoo

muchintothisthoughtherewassomethinginhergestures.SomethingBenwasmissing…andIhadalso
misseditapparently.

“OnedayI’llbakemyowncupcakes.Eat‘emuntilI’msofatIwaddleandthentumpover.”Iteased,

wantingtolightenthemood,becauseIhadtochangethetenseness.

Jamielaughed:“sureyouwill.You’llmarrysomeguyfromanotherstateandrunofftoseetheworld.

Youhavethelooks,justneedMr.Wonderfultodiscoveryouhereabouts.”Shesighedandlookedaround
thebakery.“Notsurehe’llfindyouhere.”

“Whywouldshemovetoanotherstate?”Benaskedandseemedannoyed.
“Becauseshe’sbeentalkingaboutitsinceshewasfiveyearsold.Shedoesn’twanttoliveinatwo-story

house in the middle of Moulton, Alabama, with five kids and a farmer for a husband. She wants an
adventure.Listentoher!”Jamieknewmewell.Wehadstretchedourselvesonthesteepgrassyhillbehind
myhouseonmanysummerdaysdiscussingourdreamsandwants.Weweregirlswantingtobewomen,

forgettingthatthenowwassimpler,whenlateritwouldn’tbe.Jamie’sdreamwasexactlywhatshe’djust
saidshedidn’twantforme.IwonderedifBenknewthat.

“NothingwrongwithAlabamaorMoulton,”Benreplied,soundingdefensive.
“Ben,it’snotwhatIwantforme.Butforothersit’sperfectlyfine.Now,asmuchasI’dlovetheplay

byplayoflastnightIcan’tdothat.MommawillcomeoutfromthekitchenandskinmyhideifIchat.”

“Don’tyougetalunchbreak?”Benasked.
Jamie,however,laughedathisquestion.“Seriously,I’dswearyou’dneverinyourlifemethermomma

ifIdidn’tknowbetter.MarjalineKnoxain’tlettingheroffforlunchortopee.”

Jamiewasright.Mommawouldbringmeatunasaladsandwich,orsomethingofthatnatureatnoon.

I’d have to eat it sitting right here. There were no other employees to take my place so I couldn’t step
outside.

“Well, could you at least go out after work? Get an ice cream or something like that? Jerry said a

bunchwereswimmingatthelake.Wecouldgomeetupwiththem.”

Sincemommatoldmenolastnighttherewasachanceshe’dletmego.“I’llask.Iprobablycan.Y’all

comebyatfourtocheck.Bringmeasuitjustincase?”IaskedJamie,moreofatelling,becauseIknewI
hadasuitatherhouse.

ThedoorchimedandJamietookBen’sarmtomovehimawayfromthecounter.
“Afternoon kids,” Mrs. Peabody said as she shuffled inside the bakery. Her white hair was neatly

fashionedontopofherhead.Theyellowsunflower-dressherstaple.Whattheladywasknowntowear.I’d
seen it enough to remember. “Marjaline made any of that blueberry cobbler? Elroy was a fan of that.
ThoughtImightgethimsome.Notthatneitherofusneedsit.”

“No ma’am, not today. We have apple tarts. But if momma has the ingredients she could probably

makeyouone.Youcouldpickituplaterintheday.”

Enthusiasticallyshenoddedherhead.“Thatwouldbejustperfect.Elroy’sbeenoutworkingthefields

and he needs him a tooth-rottin’ sweet treat. I’m making some homemade vanilla ice cream and that
cobblerwoulddothetrick.”

“Let me go ask her,” I said. With a smile I glanced at my friends who were waiting quietly at a

distance. I wished they’d leave in case momma came out. She didn’t like me visiting with friends, not
during my shift anyway. But I couldn’t tell them to leave without sounding rude or haughty. They had
placedmeinanuncomfortablespot.

Ihurriedbacktothekitchen,whichwasn’treallyfar,justasmommawasretrievingseveralhotloaves

ofcinnamonraisinbread.Ihopedshe’dtakehomealoafforus.Hazellovedthatstuff.

“Momma,MrsPeabodyishereandshe’swantingablueberrycobbler.SaidMr.Peabodylovedthelast

oneandshewantedtogethimasweettreat.Reckonyoucanmakeherone?She’llcomebacklaterandget
it.”

Mommaputtheloavesdownandwaited.Sheglancedaroundandthenatme.“IgotwhatIneed,I

think.Themblueberry’sneedtobeused.Tellherit’llbereadyatthree.”

Mommalikedmakingasell.Butmorethanthatshelikedpeoplewantingherfood.Itmadeherfeel

special and needed. My momma could bake better than the best, countywide and everyone knew it. I
wishedshehadaplaceofherown.Sheranthebakerylikeitwas.Whywouldn’therownbesuccessful?

“She’ll be tickled pink,” I said. I then turned to hurry back to the store front hoping momma

wouldn’tfollow.

“Shesaidshe’dhaveyouonebythree.Niceandfreshfromtheoven.”
Mrs.Peabodyclappedherhands.Hersmilecoveredherface.“She’sagoodone,thatMarjaline,the

solidestGodevermade!”

Iagreed.Ireallydid.Shewasstrictbutthewomanwasprecious.
Mrs.PeabodynoddedtoJamieandBenthenwavedtomeassheleft.“I’llbebackthrougharound

three.Thankyousweetie,”shesaid.

WhenthedoorclosedbehindherJamiegiggled.“Neverseenawomansohappyaboutacobbler.”
IshruggedandthenIinformedher:“youain’thadmymomma’scobbler.”

C

HAPTER

F

IVE

BENPULLEDHISoldFordtruckontothegrassyhillbythelake.Ithadbelongedtohisgrandfatherfor
tenmoreyearsthanBenhadbeenontheplanet.MommaagreedtoletmegoaslongasIwashomeby
seventhirtytowashthesupperdishes.Thatgavemethreehourstoswimandhangoutwithmyfriends.

Thefewthathadbeenluckyenoughtogoofftocollegewereallbackforthesummer.Therestofus

werehereworkingandacouplewereactuallygettingmarriedandstartingtheirlifeinMoulton.Here,in
hell,forever.

Jamiewantedthatlife.SoItriednevertotalkabouthowthatwasmybiggestnightmare.Itwasher

dreamandIdidn’twanttobelittlethat.EvenifIcouldn’tunderstandit,herdreamswereherstohave.

WedroppedourtowelsdownonaclearspotandIscannedthecrowdtoseeMarilynMarcustangled

aroundJackHarold.Theringonherhandwassmall,butthestonestillcaughtthesunlight.She’dbeenin
thebakeryjustlastweekannouncingherengagementandwantingtotalktomommaaboutmakingher
cake.Ithadtakenallmyactingabilitiestosmileandpretendlikewhatshewassayingwaswonderfulnews
to me. Deep down all I could remember was that time in eighth grade when we were supposed to write
downwherewesawourselvesintenyearsandonlyMarilynandIhadwrittendownthatwesawourselves
somewherefabulousandawayfromAlabama.Nowshewasmarryingafarmer’sson.Notthatitwasabad
thing.Itwasjustthatshewasn’tgettingout.Shewouldn’twalkthestreetsofManhattan,orgotococktail
partieswithherdreamguy,hermillionairefiancé.

Don’tgetmewrong.Iwasn’tholdingonforarichmantogetmeoutofMoulton.Isimplywanted

anadventure.Letmeseetheworld.AnythingbutwhatMarilynwasfacing.

“Canyoubelieveshe’sengaged,”Jamiesaid,comingupbesideme.Shemusthavecaughtmelooking

theirway.“Ithoughtforsureshe’drunoff.Getoutoftown.Nowthatain’tgonnahappen.”

Metoo.ButIdidn’tsaythat.
“Guesswhenyoulovesomeone,wheretheyareiswhereyou’llbe.”Benspoke,causingusbothtoturn

to look at him. His gaze was on mine and it felt like he was saying something I didn’t want to hear. I
flashedasmileandshookmyhead.“GuessIbetternotfallinloveunlesshelivesinChicagoorNewYork
City,maybeSeattleorBoston.”

Jamielaughed.Igrinnedather.
“Idon’timagineyoueverinlove.SammyJoKnoxinlove?”JamiesaiditandIknewthatshemeant

it.Ihadneverhadcrushesonaboy.Becausetheboysherewerejustthat,theywereherewhereIdidn’t
wanttobe.

“MaybeIwon’t.MaybeI’llconquertheworldsingleandenjoyeveryminuteofdoingit.”
Jamielinkedherarmwithmine.“IhopeyoudoSam.Ireallydo.”
Iwould.ThatwassomethingIwassureof.Ijustwasn’tsurehowatthemoment.
“HeardMillyMayandRichardweretightastickslastnightatthemovies.Rumorhasittheyleftearly

andwentparking.Wonderifshe’llbewearingaring.Reckonshewillreallysoon.”

Mystomachfeltsick.Iknewthat’swhatmysisterwanted,butwasafraidshewanteditsobadlyshe’d

settleforwhoeverwouldgiveit.Thiswasn’tnineteenfiftyanymore.Awomandidn’thavetogetmarried
bytheageoftwenty.Jesus,whatwaseveryone’sproblem?

“Yourmommahopingshegetsmarriedsoon?”Jamieasked.Itoldherthetruth.Mommawantedto

marryheroffandthenI’dbenextintheraffle.Ifonlywe’dbeenabunchofboys.She’dhavelesstoworry
about. No one rushed sons into marriage. They kept them around as long as they could to cherish their
independence.

“Enoughmarriagetalk.Let’sgoswim,”Bensaid,reachingformyarm.NotJamie’sarm,butmine.
“I’llletyouswingontheropefirst,”hesaid.IglancedbackatJamieashepulledmeaway.Thehurt

lookinhereyestoldmemorethanshecouldorwouldeverattempttosay.JamiewantedBenandthatwas
justanotherreasonIneededoutofthistown.

As I ran behind Ben to keep from falling down several people called my name. I waved and they

wavedback.Theyallgottogethereverydayafterwork.Iwasn’tassocialasthem.Mommawouldn’tallow
it.Sheknewtherewasn’tmuchinMoultonIwantedexceptmyfamilyandthetimethatI’dserved,which
wasoftenlikeaprisonsentence.

“You coming to the barn dance Friday?” Drake Red yelled at me. I had forgotten about the dance

entirely.ItcameinmidJunethenonJulythefourthwasTheFourth,anevenbiggerevent.Ihadn’tgiven
anythoughttoeither.Irarelydid.Didn’treallycare.

“Don’tknow,”Icalledback.
“Gowithme,”hesaidwithagrinIwassurehethoughtwassexy.TruthwasDrakewashandsome.He

hadthechiseledchestandarmsofaworker.Andthankstoswimmingatthelakehewasniceandtanand
pretty. His blue eyes had always been a hit with the girls in Moulton, Alabama. Problem was he had no
interestinleavingformorethanaweekend.Hedidn’tevengotocollege.Hejuststartedworkingonhis
daddy’scattlefarmandthatwaswherehe’ddie.

“She’sgoingwithme,”Bentoldhim.WiththatIstoppedrunningandpulledmyarmfree.Benhad

juststeppedovertheline.

IforgotaboutDrakeandanyoneelsewhomightbelisteningin.IfocusedonBenwhohadstoppedin

histracksandwaslookingatmeintensely.

“Whywouldyousaythat?”Iaskedhim,nottryingtohidemyfrustration,whichwasborderingon

outrightanger.

“Ifiguredifyouwent,you’dgowithme.Iwasgoingtoask.Iswearit.”
Istaredwithoutlosingcontrol.DidheseriouslyjustsaywhatIthinkhesaidasifitwereunderstood?I

hadnevergivenBenencouragement.FinallyIletoutasigh.“Ben,Idon’tknowwhatyou’rethinkingor
whyyou’dsaysomethinglikethat.You’vebeenmyfriendsincewewereten.Andthat’sallyou’lleverbe.I
don’twanttogotoabarndancewithanyguyfromMoultonornearit.Myfutureisn’there.”

Ididn’twaitforhimtosayanythingmore.Iturnedandcamefacetoface,withJamiestandinglikea

statue,shelookingatmelikeshewasreadytocryandthrowherselfinattack.Thiswasn’teasyonher.She
wanted Ben. But she loved me all the same. She was worried and confused, who isn’t. Being young is
figuringitout.Andit’shardtoknowwhattodo.

“Y’all go on and swim. I’m gonna walk home. I need the fresh air and some alone time.” I walked

awayleavingthemthere.Icouldfeeltheireyesonmybackanditseemedasiftheplacehadgonesilent.I
wastheirdramafortheweekIguess.Gavethemsomethingtotalkabout.

Ishouldhavejustgonehomeafterwork.

C

HAPTER

S

IX

FORTHENEXTtwodaysIdidn’thearfromJamieorBen.Iworkedthenwenthomeandwefinished
thepeasandplantedthetomatoesasplanned.Myregularsummerroutine,repeatedyearafteryear,nothing
specialandstillnohopeinsightofescapingthistownorstate.MillywentonanotherdatewithRichard.I
mightbehereforever.

Today was chocolate day. There were chocolate covered strawberries and raspberry cupcakes also

stuffedwithchocolate.Mommadidachocolatedayeveryweekandotherthanstrawberrycupcakesthiswas
mysecondfavoriteday.Ilovedthesmellfillingthebakery.Thosestrawberriesweren’tcheapsoIcouldn’t
sneak one, but I sure did swoon and let my mouth water thinking about the sweet tangy juice, the milk
chocolate momma made from scratch. She said Marilyn had requested them on her own wedding cake.
Thatwouldbethetastiestweddingcakeoneartheverconsumed.Ilookedforwardtothatwedding(can’t
believeIjustsaidthat)becauseIcouldhavemypickofthestrawberries.Maybestufftwoorthreeinmy
purse.

“IneedyoutorundowntothefruitstandandgetsomemorestrawberriesfromGeorge.Threelong

cartonsshoulddoit.Thenswingbythegroceryandgetsomecreamcheese.IwanttotryarecipeIjust
birthedinmybrainwiththeseapplesIgotleftover.”

Momma called from the back and I jumped. Her voice wasn’t there, then it was. “Yes ma’am,” I

replied and took the cash envelop from under the register counter. It was meant for purchasing baking
needsthatmommamightneedinarush.Igotoutatwentyandspreadthebillflatandwishedthatloveran
ourworld.Hopedthatitmightsomeday.

“Youcomingtoworkthefront?”Couldn’tabandonmypostwithoutknowingmommawascoming.
“Yeah!Letmestickthesecakesintheoven.Yougoon.Ineedthemstrawberries.”
Ineededthefreshairawayfromthechocolate.HowwasIsupposedtocontrolmyself?Headingfor

the door I stalled. A face appeared on the other side. Mr. Expensive had returned to the bakery. This, I
hadn’t expected. He seemed even more attractive than the image of him I’d saved in my prior memory.
WasIdistractedbyhimholdingacupcake?Theywerealsobeautiful.Eitherwayhewasnicetolookat.

“Helloagain,”Isaid,feelingbutterfliesinmystomachasheentered.
“Hello,”hereplied,histonepolishedanddeep.Ilikedthat.Whatgirlwouldn’t?
“Didyouenjoyyourcupcake?”Iasked.
Hegrinned.“Yes,didyouenjoyyours?Ihopeyouatethemboth.”
Inodded.“Itwasdelicious.IgavetheothertoHenry,he’smylittlebrother.Nowheasksmeforhis

dailycupcake.”

The man’s smile was really something else. I wanted him to smile some more. “We have chocolate

covered strawberries today. They’re a really big hit and oh, we have chocolate raspberry cupcakes. You’d
enjoyeitherorboth.”Iassuredhimandheseemedconvinced.

Hetiltedhishead.“Haveyoutriedthose?”
MyfaceflushedandIwantedtolie.ButIwasn’taliarsoIshookmyhead.“No,butIsmellthemand

Icanpromiseyouthis,theyareflatyummyandscrumptious.”

“Can I help you?” Momma’s voice interrupted and I inwardly winced, saying “I gotta go get some

strawberries,creamcheeseandsomethingelse…”QuicklyIbrushedrightpasthim,hurryingthroughthe
door.Iwasn’tabouttofacemomma.

Shewouldtakehisorderandsendhimonhisway.I’dpayforflirtinglater.Shedidn’ttrustmenlike

that. Though Henry’s daddy hadn’t been anything similar, I really think she’s suspicious of men. And I
completelyunderstandwhy.

Iheadeddownthesidewalktowardsthegrocerytogetthecreamcheesefirst.Itwasthefarthestaway.I

wasalmosttherewhenIsawJamiestepfromthecross-streetcleanerstomyside.Shestoppedwhenshesaw
me,duckedherhad,andhurrieddownthestreet.Jamiewasobviouslyavoidingmeandwe’dneveravoided
eachother.We’darguedbefore,butneverthis,Jamiewalkingintheoppositedirection.

IgotthecreamcheesewhileworryingaboutJamie,wishingIhadtimetofindher,totalkandseewhat

waswrong.ItwouldhavetowaituntilafterworkbecauseMommaexpectedmeback.IwashopingMr.
Expensivehadn’tbeenaskingquestions.IfhehadmommawassuretolectureuntilIdropped.

Georgehadmeseveralcartonsofstrawberriesalreadypickedandsorted.Hemusthaveknownitwasa

strawberryday.We’dsoldseveraldozenalready.Ifiguredwe’dsellatleasteightmorebeforethedaywas
over.

AsIpaidGeorgeIsawMr.Expensivepatientlywalkingmyway.Heheldtwocontainersinhishand.

Itappearedhe’dboughtmysuggestions.SmilingItookthestrawberriesfromGeorgeandwalkedtoward
thisstranger,whowasapparentlysearchingforme.

“Whatdidyoudecide?”Iaskedhim.
Hetookthegrocerybagfrommyhandsandplacedaboxinsideit.Hereachedforthestrawberries,

tuckedthemunderhisarmandItellyou,thatwasaload.“I’llhelpyoucarrytheseback.”

Thatwasnicebutaterribleidea.Mommawasn’tgoingtolikethat.“Youdon’thaveto.Icancarryit.

I’msureyouhavesomewheretobe.”

Hechuckled.“Noplaceasimportantashelpingaladywithhercartonsandbagofgroceries.”
Alady.Hecalledmealady.Ifeltveryimportantthen.It’ssilly,butIdid.
“I’musedtocarryingthem.Mommasendsmeoften.”
Ireallyneededhimtoleave.Togoonbeforemommasawus.EventhoughIwishedhecouldstay.

Thismightbehislasttimethrough.WhocametoMoultonforacupcake?

“I’msureyouare.Butamanshouldstopandhelp.BesidesyourhandswerefullandIcouldn’tvery

wellmakeyoucarryonemorething.”

Frowning, I glanced up to him. I guessed about six foot three. Much taller than my five foot six.

“WhatelsedidIneedtocarry?”

He showed the bag where he had placed his boxes. “Your chocolate strawberries and chocolate

raspberrycupcakes.Theretheyareneedingconsumption.”

Themanhadboughtmesomethingagain.Mymouthwatered,eventhough,IknewIshouldn’ttake

them.Mommawouldhaveafit.ThoughHenrywouldloveitIbet.

“Youboughtmesomethingelse?”Iasked,soundingbreathless,highlydramaticandappreciative.
“Yes. Hearing you talk about them with so much passion made my mouth then water. Figured you

shouldatleastgettotrythem.Shameyourmotherdoesn’tallowyouatastetestnowandthen.”

“Thankyou.Speakingofmymomma,she’snotgoingtobehappy,thatyouboughtmesomething

again.ShethinksI’mflirtingandyou’rebuyingmetreats,becauseoftheflirtingI’mdoing.Mommahas
thisstrangeideaaboutmylooksandwhattheycreate.”

Heappearedtobeholdingbacklaughter.“Andwhatmighttheycreate?”
Isighedandshruggedmyshoulders.“ShethinksI’mpretty.Over-pretty.Butthat’snotevenaword.”
Whenhelaughedmyfacegrewhot.IknowIturnedthreeshadesofred.

C

HAPTER

S

EVEN

“I’LLSAVESOMEforHenry.Helovedthecupcake,”IsaidthemomentMr.Expensivewalkedoutthe
doorafterhelpingmecarrymybundles.

Mommawasstaringattheboxhehadleftformeonthecounter.
“Iwasn’teveninheremomma.Icouldn’thaveflirtedwithhim.Heboughtthoseonhisown.”
She then raised her eyes to meet mine: “he’s never worked an honest days labor in his entire trust

fundedlife.Hishandsaretoodownyandsoft.Hisskinnotdamagedbythesun.Hewearsandsmellsof
easymoney.Noworryorfearinhiseyes.Hislifehasbeensimpleandmanageable.Heexpectstogetwhat
hewantsbecausehealwayshastillnow.Nothing’severbeenachallengeforhim.Now,you’resomething
he desires. He’s buying you treats that cost him little to draw you in for the kill. That, Sammy Jo, is
dangerous.Arealmanknowsworkandrespect.”

Thensheturnedandwentbacktothekitchen.Mommawasmakingjudgmentsonamanshedidn’t

know because he’d been kind to me, by giving me gifts and attention. I opened the box to find six
strawberriesandthreegiganticcupcakes.Whythree?That,Iwondered.

Iselectedastrawberryandclosedmyeyes,bitingdownandallowingthefirstsprayofjuicetorelease

inside my mouth. It was as perfect as I’d imagined. And momma’s warning was silly I thought. She got
upsetovernothing.I’dneverseethemanagain.Mr.Expensivewasgone.

ThedoorchimedandIspuntoseewhoitwas,whichwasBenwalkinginside.Iswallowedmybiteof

strawberry.Atleasthewashere.MaybehecouldexplainJamie’sbehaviorthatmadenosensetome.

“Hey,”Isaid,wipingthejuicefrommymouthwiththebackofmyhand.
He ducked his head a moment then sighed before looking back at me. “Hey,” he responded. “Hey

there.”Asifaddingtwowordsmadeitbetter.

Iknewthiswasaboutthelake.Itwastimeweputthatbehindus.“Arewegood?”Iaskedhim,hoping

he’dsay“yes”andputthethingtorest.

Heshrugged.“Idon’tknow.HaveyoutalkedtoJamie?”
“Funny you should mention that. I just saw her outside and she all but ran away from me in the

street.”

Hisskinpaledashadeortwo.Somethingwasdefinitelyoff.
“Uh…yeah…well,wekinda…justaskheryourselfifyouwant.”Andheleftasquicklyaspossible.
I picked up a cupcake and watched him hurry off down the street. Things were strange but this

cupcakewasdelicious.Acupofcoffeewouldmakeitbetter.Noitwouldn’t,that’simpossible.

“Come get the blueberry bread! Display it right in the front!” Momma called from the back and I

replied “yes mam!” tucking my cupcake back into the box and dusting off my hands. I hurried to the
kitchenwithasmile.Ididn’tneedtoremindheraboutmygiftssoIreturnedtoquietlyhidethem,tomake
themblendlikearegularfixture.GlancingoutsideIsawBenpauseandlookbackatthedoor.Something
wasstrangeandthoughmommawouldbeangryIknewIhadtodosomethingaboutitoritwasgoingto
drivemenuts.

“Benlefthischangeonthecounter!I’llbebackinaminute!”
“Ben?”shereplied.Shehadn’tseenBencomeinandIdidn’thavetimetoexplain.Herapidlyturned

toescape.Iranforthedoortoyellhisnamebeforeheclimbedinhistruck.BenturnedandIhurriedright
tohim.“What’sgoingon?”Iasked,soundingbreathlessandconcernedandannoyed.Afeatwithinitself.

Hefrownedandlookedathisboots.Therewasdefinitelysomethingwrong.Benneveractedlikethis.
“IsthisaboutwhatIsaid?I’msorryifIhurtorembarrassedyou.Iwasshockedbywhatyousaid.How

youassumedthingsI’dreactto.Youknowmeandmymouth,IsaywhatI’mthinkingtoofastsometimes,
butthatdoesn’taffectourfriendship.”

Benliftedhisheadandhiseyesmetmine.“That’snotwhat’swrongSammyJo.”
Oh, it isn’t, is it? Well, then I was curious as to what it was because Jamie running off was weird.

“Wouldyoupleasetellmebecausebothmyfriendsaretreatingmestrangeasoflate.I’dliketoknowwhy
ifyouplease?”

Benclosedhiseyestightlyasifthewordshewouldsayweregoingtobepainfulandhurtme.Asifhe

weresafeifIcouldn’tbeseen.

“Jamie’spregnant.”
Istoodthere.Hewassafe.Eyesstillclosed,Bengrittinghisteeth,thewarmsummerbreezetangling

the hair breaking free of my ponytail, the strands dancing around my face, sticking to the sweat on my
brow. I could see Norma Sanders crossing the road with her poodle Josie in the lead. The wafting smell
fromthebakerycreptevertowardme,butevenwithallthatfamiliarityIwaslost,confusedandalone.Asif
I’dsteppedintoanotherworld.IwasAlicedowntherabbithole.Lookingskywardfromthebottomfrozen.

“Wh-what?”Imanagedtosay.
Benranhishandoverhisfaceandmadeanoddhigh-pitchedsound.Washefeelingaslostasme?So

completelythrownforaloop?WhenhadJamieevenhadsex?

“She’spregnant.Shetoldmelastnight.”
Shetoldhim,JamietoldBen,thatshewaspregnant,butdidn’ttellme,herbestfriendonthefaceof

theearth?

“She told you? You?” I repeated, still looking for that clue that this was a dream and couldn’t be

actuallyhappening.

“Yeah.”
“Why?How?”Whyhadshetoldhim?Howwasshepregnant?Jamie?LasttimeIhadcheckedshewasa

virgin,thetwoofusinatinyminority.

Icouldseethetensioninhisshoulders.Thestressetchedonhisblood-drainedface.Hiseyeswerewide

and upward looking. This was as upsetting to him, as it was for me to hear it. Had he asked her these
questions?Didheevenknowtheanswers?Whowasthefatherofthechild?

“We…weslepttogether.Justonce.Itwasn’tplanned.Wejust…we…ithappened.Whenitwasover

we swore we’d never tell and things would stay the same. But now, now, it’s different. Everything will
changebecauseithasto.”

Mylegsfeltweak.Iwasn’tsureIcouldstand.Iwasnolongerlivinginreality.“When?”Iasked,still

notsure,I’dheardhimcorrectlywhenhesaidit.

“Lastmonth.ThenightweweregoingtoCullmantoseeamovieandgetsomethingtoeat.Youhad

tostayhomeandkeepHenry.”

Irememberedthatnight.Henryhadfever.Mommahadtogointothebakerytodoaspecialorderfor

awedding.Millywasonadate,suchanormalnight,nothingstrangeorlifechangingatthemoment.

Buttwoyoungliveshadbeenaltered.Foreverchanged,eternallycoursed.
“SammyJo!”Momma’svoicecalledout.Ijerkedmyheadaroundtoseesomethingnearertoareality

whereIwasn’tuncomfortable.Mymother.Myangrymother.Ihadtogetbacktowork.

“I…Ihavetogo,”Istutteredandinsteadoftryingtofigureouttherightthingtosayatthemoment,

turned and left him there. “Congratulations” seemed an odd sentiment. Yet they had created a life. One
that would blossom in Moulton and know this place as its own. A life that was their responsibility.
Somethingtheycouldn’ttakeback.

C

HAPTER

E

IGHT

TIMECRAWLEDBYtherestofthedayandmyheadwassofullofquestionsandconcernsIcouldn’t
eveneatthestrawberriesorcupcakesthatMr.Expensivehadleftme.Myappetitewasgoneandinitsplace
somethingthatcouldonlybedescribedasfearformyfriendshadtakenover.

Isteppedintotheeveningsummersunshineafterwork.MommahadagreedIcouldgovisitJamie.I

toldhersomethingwaswrongandsheneededafriend.Mommasaidtobehomebydinnertime.Notmuch
gotbyhersoIfiguredsheknewIwasbotheredbytheinteractionshe’dinterruptedearliertodaywithBen.
Shedidn’tquestionmeorpausewhensheagreed.

I took my box of cupcakes and strawberries with me. Maybe Jamie would need a treat. Not that

strawberries and cupcakes could fix this. She was eighteen and pregnant with a guy’s baby she was just
friendswith.DearGod,howhadInotknownthey’dbeenintimate?Hadshetriedtotellmeoverthepast
monthandI’dbeensowrappedupinmylifeanddreamsthatIhadn’tbeenlistening?Ifso,Iwasaterrible
friend.Ishouldhaveknownthis.Beentherewithherwhenshetookthepregnancytest.She’ddonethat
aloneandwherewasI?Notthere.Thatwaswhere.

IhurriedtoherhousehopingIwouldn’tneedtotrackherdown.Gettingthroughthepastfewhours

aftertalkingtoBenhadbeenhard.AllI’dwantedtodowasruntoJamie.Checkonher.Talktoher.Make
athingokaythathadalreadyhappenedandwouldhavetobelovinglydealtwith.

Andalso,nottobeselfish,butIwantedtostopfeelingasifIwasgoingtovomit.
Iwalkedupthefrontstepsofherlightbluehousethatremindedmeofaphotograph.Itwasn’tbig,

butitwascute,theshuttersanddoorsperfectlymatchingandthewoodworkandflowerswereimmaculate.
Itwassoperfectyouknewitwasn’t.Somethinghadtobewronginside.StoppingatthedoorIstaredatthe
peephole.WhatwasIgoingtosay?Wouldmywordscomfortmyfriend?Wasshegoingtobehappyabout
this?ShouldIpretendthatIdidn’tknow?

Ididn’thaveanyanswersorsuggestions.Ireachedupandrangthedoorbell.Jamie’smybestfriend,

that’salwaysbeenso.Likefamily,evencloser.SheneededmeandIwashere.

Thedooropenedandthereshestood.Asifshe’dwaitedbehindit.Herfacewaspalerthannormaland

hereyesseemedlarger,sadandsleeplessandteary.Shewaslostinsideherself,downintherabbithole.Her
expressiontoldthetruth.

“YoutalkedtoBen?”
Inodded.Iwasn’tgoingtolie.IneverhaveandIwouldn’tstartnow.
“And?”sheasked.

And?Whatdidshemeanby“and?”HowdidIfeel?HowwasBen?What?Whatwassheasking?She

wasscaredandhurting.Iknewit.IsatthebagholdingtheboxoftreatsdownandthenIsteppedforward,
wrappingmyarmsaroundher.ThatwasallIknewtodo.Sheneededcomfort.ThatIcouldgive.

Herstiffbodydidn’tlast.Withinsecondshershoulderssagged.Jamieembracedme,broughtmeinto

herandburiedherfaceinmyneck.Shetwistedherheadlikeahelplesschildandwestoodlikethatfora
while.Notworriedaboutwhosawus.

“Hehasn’tcalledsinceItoldhim,”shesaid.“Nothing.Notaword.”
IfI’dknownthatImighthaveshookhimandyelledwhenIsawhimearlier.Jamiewaseighteenand

pregnantinMoulton,Alabama.DidhenotseehowterrifiedandfrightenedJamiewas?

“He’llcall.Hejustneedsalittlespacetoadjust.Andifhedoesn’tI’llkickhisass.”Isaiditandpulled

hertighter.

Shesniffledandalaughescaped.“Ishouldhavetoldyoufirst.”
Iagreed.ButIwasn’tgoingtosaythat.Notwhenshewaslikethis.“Ihavecupcakesandchocolate

coveredstrawberries.Let’sgoeatthemwhilewetalk.”

Shenodded,thensteppedback,hertearfilledeyesmeetingmine.“I’mscared.Can’tquitshaking.”
Iwasalsofrightened.Anditwasn’tmylifethatwasabouttochange.ItwashersandBen’sandthe

child’s.“Iknow,”Iresponded.“I’mhere.”

IpickedupthebagandwalkedinsideahouseIknewsowell.Thatsmellofapplecinnamon.Ialways

wonderedhowhermothermanagedthat.Oursalwayssmelledlikewhatmommacookedthatdayorthe
daybefore.

Thehousewasdecoratedwithnicethingsandalwaysverytidy.Jamie’smomwastheexpectationof

Southern womankind. Married to one man for thirty plus years, come hell or the highest waters. There
weredecorativepillowsonhersofaandfreshflowersonthekitchentable.Ilikedthishouseandthewayit
felt.AknickknackheavenItellyou.

Jamie’s dad was the local bank manager and her mother a stay at home mom. Something momma

knewnothingabout.Shehadalwaysworkedsomewhere.Herincomewasourkeeping.AsniceasJamie’s
housewasIneverwantedthislife.Itwasn’tforme,thoughitfitwellforher,soIguessthere’sbalancein
everything. I was young and wanted adventure, to get out and see the world. I’d wear fancy clothes and
expensive shoes and have my own money to buy them. I’d walk Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, or go
shoppinginParisorRome.Maybethatwasselfishandwrongofme,butIhadtoadmitmydesires.There’s
somethingtobesaidformyhonesty.

We walked up the stairs and opened the first door on the right. Jamie’s bedroom was as big as the

roomIsharedwithmythreesisters.Thecoralandaquacoloredquiltonherbedwaswhatdrewyoureyes
into it, the moment you walked through the door. There were paper balls, the same matching colors,
hangingaboveherbed.Likeflowerstheygaveitafairytaletouch,thoughourdiscussionwouldn’tbe.

AllthiswassafeforJamie.Safe,untilrightaboutnow.Theroomwasgoingtochange.Wouldsheput

acribagainstthewall?Wouldherparentsallowhertolivehere?WouldshemarryBen,makealifeofher
ownandrefusethehelpofherparents?

“Doyoulovehim?”Igentlyasked,restingthebagonherdresser.
Shesighedandnoddedherhead.“Yes,I’velovedhimforyears,buthe’salwaysjustseenyou.Untilthe

nightthatheonlysawme.”Shethenpointedatherchest.“Thenextdayitwaslikeitneverhappened.His
eyeswerestillonyou.Ikeptwishingthatwouldn’tbethecaseandhe’dcontinuetojustseeme.”

MychestachedandIwantedtohugher.Ihadn’trealizeduntilrecentlythatshefeltsomethingfor

Ben.Iwishshehadtoldmesooner.MaybeIcould’vehelpedbytellingBenhowIwouldneverfeelthat
way.Butwouldthatendhisstrangefascination?WouldheeverturncompletelytoJamie?

“I was used to boys liking you. They always have. It didn’t bother me. You’re my best friend and

you’rebeautifulandguysaredrawntothat.That’ssomethingIalwaysunderstood.UntilBen.Hewasmy
first.TheboyIwantedformyself.Butit’shardtoseemewhenthere’syou.”

The idea of strawberries and cupcakes no longer appealed to me. I loved Jamie. I didn’t want her

unhappy.IalsowantedtoswingatBen.Breakhisnoseandmashhisteeth.Whywereguyssodumb?Jamie
wassweet,smart,funnyandkind,devotedandreallypretty.Shewasanexcellentcatch.Jamiewantedthis
life. She’d be a fantastic wife and mother. Didn’t Ben see all that? She wanted the same as him. She was
perfectforthelifeheenvisionedforhimself,butIwasthepolaropposite.NotonlydidInotloveBen.I
hatedMoulton,Alabama.

“Idon’tthinkBenwould’vesleptwithyouhadhenothadfeelingsforyou.RightnowIimagineheis

trying to figure out your future, the two of you. What is best and right for not only you, but the baby
growinginsideyou.He’llcallorbetteryet,comeby,ifyougivehimtimetothink.YouknowBenwell
enough,he’lldotherightthingandifhedoesn’tloveyouyet,hewillfallinlovewithyousoon.Idon’t
doubtthatatall.You’reeasytolovesweetheart.”

Jamiesankdownontoherbedandsighedashershoulderssagged.“Whatifhehatesmeforever?”
Thatideawasludicrous.“Hateyou?Becausehechosetohavesexwithyou,withoutusingprotection?

Thatwasn’tyourfault,excuseme,butthereweretwopeoplepresentthatnight.”

Jamieliftedherheadandhereyesweresosaditbrokemyhearttoseeit:“ItoldhimIwasonthepill.

I have been for my irregular periods. But I knew they weren’t strong. My doctor explained that it was
enoughtokeepmyperiodsregular,butnotagreatformofprotection.Iknewthat,and…and…Ididn’t
takemypillthatnight.IcantellmyselfamilliontimesitwasanaccidentandIforgot.Butdeepdown,I
don’tthinkthatitwas.IthinkImeantforthistohappen.”

Ifshehadmeantforthistohappenithadbeenafleetingfantasy.Nowshewasfacedwithreality.I

didn’tthinkJamiepremeditatedtrappingBenasafather.However,ifshehad,thenJamie’sfuturemaybe
exactlywhatshewanted.

“Doesn’tmatternow.You’regoingtohaveababy.Andyou’regoingtobeanexcellentmother.That

kidisaluckyegg.”

AsmallsmiletouchedherlipsandIhopedIwasright.Forallthreeofthepeopleincluded.

C

HAPTER

N

INE

IHADN’TPLANNEDongoingtothebarndancebutafteraweekofleavingworktocheckonJamie
andliftherspiritsIfiguredsheneededmethere.Benhadn’taskedhertogo,althoughhehadfinallycalled
herandtheyhadmetlateoneeveningtotalkaboutthingsinhistruck.Hehadn’tmadeanypromisesyet,
buthehadmentionedmarriage.

Jamieneededtopretendasiflifewerenormal.BeingthegoodfriendthatIwasIhadmommaalter

my nicest dress that she made for last year’s dance. My breasts were bigger and my hips flared more. I
couldn’ttell,butithadhappened.Shealsoaddedasatinbeltthattiedinaprettybow.Iwasaskedbyfour
differentboystogoandI’dturnedthemalldowninarow.Ifitweren’tforJamie,Iwouldn’tbegoing.I
didn’treallywanttodancewithanyboysfromMoulton,Alabama.

Momma was pleased I was going. She didn’t understand why Jamie was my date, but she seemed

positive about the fact I’d be there with local boys, preening and showing themselves. I picked up the
blueberry cobbler she had just finished baking and put it on the cake plate that set in the center of the
display.Iwouldsmellitforthenexteighthours.Goodthingblueberrycobblerwasn’toneofmyfavorites.
I’dalsohadmomma’sseveraltimesathome.Itwouldn’tbetorture,justagony.

Thedoorbellchimed,thedoorthenopened,andMr.Expensivewasthere.Ihadquestions:whyare

you here? Do you work nearby? What is your name? But I didn’t ask a one. That would be flirting and
mommawouldhearme.Iglancedbacktomakesurethekitchendoorwasclosed.Iwantedmommatostay
backthere,insteadofcomingouthereandbeingrude.

“Goodmorning,”Isaidwithasmile,reassuringmyselfthatthedoorwasshutandthatmommawas

safelybusy.

“Goodmorning,”herepliedwithagrin.Hehadimpressivestraightwhiteteeth.I’dneverseenteethso

perfect.

“You must be working nearby. We don’t normally get out of towners repeating their business this

soon.”Isaiditwithoutaskingaquestion.

Hesmirked.“Actuallyno,Idon’t.ButaftermyfirstvisitIkeepgettingdrawnbackhere.Regularly.”
Iwantedtothinkthatcommentwasmeantforme.ButI’dhadmymomma’sbakingandknewitwas

meantforthetreats.“Mymommacanhavethataffect.”

Hestoppedontheothersideofthecounterandstudiedmeforamoment.Iwantedtofidgetandfix

my hair. Make sure my breath was clean and that nothing was out of place. He seemed so polished and
perfect.Washefindingallmyflaws?

“I’msureyourmotherbringsintonsofpeoplewithhertalentedbaking.However,Iwasreferringto

you.”

Iwantedtorespond,butwhatdoIsay,flirtingwasn’tmyhabit,somethingIpracticeddaily.NowI

wishedIhadpracticedmore.Itcouldbehelpfulatatimelikethis.

“I’vemadeyounervous.Surelyyougetattentionfromthemeninthistownonaregularbasis?”
Men,no,notmen,Iwouldn’tcalltheboysheremen.Theywerestilldrinkingbeerandswimmingin

thelakeandnoneofthemhadagoaltobemorethanMoultonoffered.

“Honestly,otherthanworkhereandathome,Idon’tgooutmuch.”
NowIsoundedcompletelyboring.
“Yourmother’ssmart.Ifsheletyououtyou’dbemarriedwithintheyear.”
Ilaughed.Mymommawouldloveformetobemarried.Ishookmyhead.“No,that’snotit.Ijust

don’twantthislife.IplantogetoutofMoulton,outofAlabamaforgood.Iwanttoseetheworld.Not
marryafarmerandhaveabunchofbabiesjustlikeeveryoneelse.”

Hesmiledandbithislip.NotoneI’dseenbefore.Peoplearoundherealwaysmockedme,grinning

withspiteandarrogance.AsifIwasdreamingtoobig.Hissmilewasmoreappreciative.

“What’syournumberone?”heasked.
“Mywhat?”
“Thefirstplaceonyourlistofplacesyouwanttosee.”
Oh,well,thatwashard.ButIwouldhavetosay“NewYork.Manhattantobeexact.”
“FifthAvenue?”headded,readingmymind.
Inodded.
“It’saniceplacetovisitbutnottolive.ItrieditonceandonlylastedayearbeforeIheadedbackto

Tennessee.”

Tennessee? He lived in Tennessee? That was a let down. Although I was sure he lived in a nice big

housesomewhereexpensive.Itwasstillthesouth.Helookedlikehebelongedsomewherebigger.Brighter.
Shinier.

“Youlookdisappointed,”hesaid.HewaseitherveryperceptiveorIwasjusteasytoread.
“Oh,no.Ijustdidn’texpectyoutoliveinTennessee.Iwassurprised.”
Heletoutachucklethenturnedhisattentiontothedisplay.“Whatdoyousuggesttoday?”
HewaschangingthesubjectandIwassothankfulImovedovertothecaseandopeneditup.“The

chocolatecupcakeshaveraspberrycreaminside.Freshraspberriesareinthemalso.Thecobblerisniceand
warm.”Icouldn’tevensellthecobblertohim.Iwasterrible.Hemightnotevenbuymesomethingtoday.
Ishouldhavetriedharderwiththecobbler.Itwasdelicious.Itjustwasn’tamystery.

“I’lltakefourcupcakes,”hereplied.
Iboxedthemandplacedthemonthecounter.“Coffee?”Iaskedhim.
“Please.”
AfterfixinghiscoffeeIhandedittohim.“Ninedollarsandfifteencents,”Itoldhim.
Hereachedintohiswalletandpulledoutatwenty,guidingitacrossthecounter.“Idon’tneedthe

change,”hesaid.Hethenopenedhisboxandliftedacupcake,whichleftmethreeagain.Iwantedtoask

himwhythree,butheturnedtoexitthebakery.Iwatchedhimretreat,thenstop,revolvingtolookrightat
me.Itmademystomachdoalittleflip.

“Thankyouforthecupcakes,”Isaid,quicklybeforeIforgot.
“I have a penthouse in Manhattan, Chicago and Boston. A cabin in Colorado, and a townhouse in

San Francisco.” Then he tuned and left. Just like that. As if nothing more needed to be added, said or
otherwise mentioned. I myself had nothing to add. I lived in a room with my sisters. Sometimes we
confusedourpanties.Icouldn’timaginehavingfiveresidences.Orevenhavingaroomtomyself.

C

HAPTER

T

EN

STRINGSOFWHITElightscoveredtheceilingofthelargebarninMoulton’scenter.Itwasherebefore
thetownandasahistoricalmonumentwaswellpreservedandtended.Towneventshappenedhere.The
doorswereslidopeninthebackandfrontinvitingthewarmeveningbreeze.Thetreesoutsidewerealso
decorated,thelivemusicthatwasplayingfromthemakeshiftstagewasjustinsidethebarn.

Colorfulflowerswereplacedlikeamazearoundthestageandthroughbothentries.Theseledyouto

danceandtothedrinksandsnacks,buttheyweresuretotripafew.Girlswereintheirdressesandbootsor
heelswhiletheguyswereallinjeans,theirplaidshirtsasstiffasboards.Laughtermixedwiththemusicfrom
HermanBorris’sbandanditallseemedverytypical.Theusual.Nothingnew.

Jamie looked toward the drink table. “Do you think the punch has already been spiked? I smell

cornmashintheairlikeincense.It’samoonshineeveningforsure.”

Probably.“Youhadbetterstickwithwaterorsweettea¸”Iresponded.
She nodded in agreement. I had hoped all day that Ben would call her and ask Jamie to the dance

tonight.Ikeptscanningthecrowdforasignofhimorhistruckaroundthesquare.Iwastryingtolethim
adjustandmakeaplan,butrightnowIwantedtowringhisneckforhisimmaturebehaviorandneglecting
mybestfriend.Jamiewasdressedinalovelywhitechiffondressthatstoppedatherkneesandwasstrapless.
ItcamestraightofftherackofadepartmentstoreinCullman.Shepaidoveronehundreddollarsforitand
shelookedgorgeous.

Benshouldn’tbemissingthis.
Iwatchedasshelookedthroughthecrowd.Shewasnervousandthewayshekeptfidgetingwithher

dressmademewanttopopherhand.Shedidn’tneedtobenervous.Sheneededtowalkaroundlikethe
beautyshewasandownthat.Beasnaturalaspossibleunderthecircumstancesandenjoyaneveningwith
me.

“Doyouthinkhe’llcome?”sheasked.Ireacheddowntotakethehandthatwaspickingtheruffled

chiffon.Isqueezeduntilshesqueezedback.

“If he doesn’t then he’s missing out. You look amazing. Dance with everyone who asks and enjoy

yourself.”

Shenoddedwithoutlookingconvinced.
IsawColeMarshwalkingourwayandhiseyeswereonme.Crap.
“Hello ladies,” he said, not acknowledging Jamie’s existence, except for making ladies plural. That

infuriatedmesoIattacked.

“Cole,”Isaidinavoicethatdidn’tsoundpleasedorinviting.“Youass,”Iquietlymumbled,Colenot

hearingathing.

“Youlookgorgeousasalways,”hesaid.Iturnedmygazeawayandwinced.
“Thanks,”Imuttered.“Imbecile.”Iwasdisgustedwithmeningeneral.
“Herman’sgotitrollingupthere.Wanttojoinmeforagoonthedancefloor?”
“Nothanks.”Ithencutmyeyesbackathim.Iactuallyfeltthemflash.IfheaskedJamienowI’dbe

pissed. That was an obvious diss. Like the dumbass he obviously was, he finally looked at Jamie. “What
aboutyou?Wanttodance?”

Sheglancedatmeandknewmewellenoughthatthefrownonmyfacemeantthatsaying“yes”wasa

badidea.

“Nothanks.WejustgothereandI’dliketogogetadrinkfirst.”
ThesmartthingforColetodoatthatmomentwastooffertogogetheradrink.Thenmaybeshe

woulddancewithhim.Butinsteadhesighedandshookhishead.“Alright,shootamandownwhydon’t
ya.”Thenhewalkedofflikeachild.

“He’sajerk,”Isaid.“Anasshole.”
“Iagree,”shereplied.
“Let’sgogetyousomethingtodrink.Waitforabetteroption.”
Shenoddedandweheadedforthedrinktable.IdecidedIwantedsomepunch,becauseifIwasgoing

togetthroughtonightwithoutsluggingsomeone’sface,Iwouldrequiresomehomebrewtodoit.Tosettle
medownabit.Mommawouldhaveafitifshefoundout,butonedrinkwouldn’thurt.Besides,thepunch
isn’tsupposedtobespiked.Itjustalwaysis,soIdrinkit.

“He’shere,”Jamiewhispered,almostpanicked,herhandgrippingmyarm.Ifollowedhergazeand

foundBenwalking,dressedinjeansandanewplaidshirt,liketherestoftheguysinthebarn.Whythehell
dotheywearthesamething?HeglancedatmeamomentbeforehiseyeswenttoJamie.Iknewshelooked
beautiful,thoughshedidn’trealizeit,whichisbothgoodandbadtogether.

Icouldseetheappreciationinhiseyes.Ifiguredhemightdancewithher.Thatandthefactshewas

havinghisbaby.Sweetmother!Ineededadrink!

“WhatdoIdo?”sheaskednervously.
“Yougogetadrinklikeyouplanned.”Itoldherbluntlyandledhertothedrinks.“Don’tlookat

him.Makehimcometoyou.”

Iwasn’tsureoftheoriginofmymatchmakingtipsbuttheyweretherelikeIknewwhatIwasdoing.

WemadeittothedrinktablebeforeBengottousandthenheclosedratherquickly.

“Hello,”hesaidcautiously,likehewasafraidofsomething.Perhapsme,whichwasagoodidea.Ithen

nudgedJamietorespond.

“Hi,”shesaidwithashakybreath.
“Youlookbeautiful,”andIknewhiswordswerereal,notforcedorjustpretended.Hegainedafew

pointsthere.Notenoughyet,butafew.Hehadalotofhumblingtodo.

“Thanks,”shesaidsoftly.IknewJamiewellenoughtoknowshewasn’tsureshebelievedhimatthat

moment.Iwishedshe’dseeherselfthewayotherssawherbeauty.

“Gettingsomethingtodrink?Orwouldyouliketodance?”Heaskedheranditwassincere.

Again,Ibarelymovedmyarm,butthepinchIgavehersidewasenoughofanudgetoenlivenher.

SheunderstoodwhatIwassaying.

“Uh,yeah,I’dliketodance,”shereplied.
Benlookedatmeandnoddedagreeting.“I’mgoingtostealheraway,”hetoldme.“We’llfindyou

directlypal.”

“Good,”wasmyresponse.
Thatmadehimsmileandreleasedme.Maybethingswouldbeokay.
Ifixedmyselfaglassofpunch.Sureenoughthenipofthehomebrewsetmythroattotingling.That

wasgood.Apositivething.AtleastIcouldmakeitthroughthenight.Itwouldloosenmeupenoughto
dancewithaguyortwo.BenwasshowingJamiehewasn’tgoinganywhere.Heneededtodomorethan
askhertodance,butthatwasastartIguess.

“Iunderstandthateventslikethisdon’tofferalcohol.Notlegallyanyway.”Adeepvoicespokeclose

tomyearandIjumpedbecauseIwasstartled.Luckily,mypunchdidn’tspillonmydress,nordidIspin
andswing.

Turning,IcamefacetofacewithMr.Expensivegrinning,themanbitinghislowerlip,aspleasedto

beinmypresence,forIwasaglowinhis.

C

HAPTER

E

LEVEN

HEWASN’TDRESSEDinjeansandaplaidshirt.Notevenclose.Instead,hispantswereadarkgrayand
probablycostmorethanmymother’smonthlysalary.Thewhite,longsleevedbuttondownshirthewas
wearing was casual, the sleeves rolled to his elbows with his top button undone. Like he was just getting
comfortableafteralongdayofwork.

Notonlydidhelookexpensive,hesmelledexpensivealso.
Andallofthat,addedtothefactthathelivedalifeIdreamedaboutmademealittlegiddy.Ihadn’t

expectedtoseehim.Howhehadknownaboutthisdancewasbeyondme.ButIdidn’tcare.AllIcared
aboutwasthathewashere.

“Thepunch,”Itoldhim.“Thealcoholisinthepunch.”
“Ahh,sotheyhidethegoodstuff,”hereplied.
Ihandedhimmycup.“It’smoonshine,rotgut,likedieselfuel.Gogentlydearfriend.Becautious.”
He chuckled, took my drink and drank deeply like the booze was well water. Not even a wince. I

guessjustbecausehewaswealthydidn’ttakeawayfromhisTennesseeness.

“I’llgetanother,”Itoldhim.“Youcanhavethatone.”
“Isthisasecreteveryoneknowsordosomefindoutthehardway?”heasked.
“Theyallknow.Theyjustpretendtheydon’t.GodfearingBaptistsandall.”
HetookanotherdrinkandIwenttopourmyselfacup.Theclearplasticcontainersdidn’tholdnearly

enough.WhenIreturned,yes,hewaspresent.

“You’rehere?”Istatedtheobvious,butitfeltlikeaquestionandsowasstatedassuch.
Hegrinned.“Itwouldappearthatway.”
Iputthecuptomylipsandtookalongsip.Itriedtohidemysmilebutitwasdifficult.Hemademe

feelhappy.Liketherewashopeorexcitementinmyfuture.LikeIwasnew,notwaitingonashelf.

“InoticedthefliersallovertownwhenIwasintheotherdaytogetacupcake.FiguredImightget

luckyandyou’dbehere.Andyourmother,she,wouldnot.”

ThistimeIlaughed.Ididn’teventrytohidemyamusement.“Mymommacanbeatrickyoneto

escape.”

He looked thoughtful a moment then turned his head toward me. “I’m trying to figure out how

you’renotalreadyoutthereonsomeguysarm.”

ThistimeIsmirked.“Idon’twanttobe.”
“Anyreasonwhy?”

“They’reallstayinghere.Nooneleaves.Theyallstay.Idon’twantthat.”
“Andwhatdoyouwant?”heasked.
I thought that was obvious. I wanted out of this place. But instead I said the following: “I want to

knowyourname.”

He chuckled and extended his hand. “Hale Christopher Jude III,” he replied. “Will you do me the

honorofadanceSammyJoKnox?”

He surprised me by knowing my full name. I didn’t have time to play his over in my head like I

wantedto.Itsoundedwealthy.Likehewasimportant.

Islippedmyhandintohisandhisfingerswrappedaroundminewithgentlestrength.Ilikedthat.It

made me feel as if I was his and I realized being Hale Christopher Jude III’s didn’t sound bad at all. It
soundedmorelikeafairytale.Youdon’tseethenightinthelight.That’sathingIwillhavetoremember.

Heledmetothedancefloorwherehishandsfoundmywaistandrestedthereasifhewerestakinghis

claim.Iputmineonhisshouldersandtiltedmyhead,justenoughtomeethiseyes.Hehadbeautifuleyes.
Onesthatabsorbedanddrewyouinsidethemandonceyouwerethereallelseseemedstillandthatwasfine
withme.

“Whendoyouturnnineteen?”Heaskedashebegantomoveuswiththemusic,ourbodiesswaying

justsothattheybrushedtheother,likeeyelashessweepingacheek.

Heknewmyage.Heknewmyname.How?Howdidheknowthat?Themanhadbarelycomeinto

town three times and only then to stop at the bakery. No one here seemed to know him. I did a quick
glancearoundtoseeifanyonewaswatchingusandrealizedthatmosteveryonewas.Itwasn’tbecausethey
knewhim.Itwastheexactopposite.Hewasastranger.Arichstrangerthatcurrentlyhadmeinhisarms,
everyoneknowingIwantedoutofMoulton,thecrowdwaitingtoseeifIranofftonightandnevercame
backtothisplace.Thesillinessofsuchathought.Iwantedout,butIwasn’tescaping,withamanIdidn’t
evenknow.

“Howdoyouknowmynameandage?”
Hislipsturnedupattheedges.Hegavemeaninnocentshrug.Itdidn’tseemtofittheworldlyman

dancing to my front. “After the first time I saw you in the bakery I made an inquiry. Does that bother
you?”

No,notexactly.ButIwantedtoknowwhowasasked.Ithoughtaboutprobingformore,butIdidn’t

forsomeoddreason.

“Augusttenth,”Itoldhim.
Helookedthoughtful.“Doyouhaveplansforcollege?”
Iwantedtolaughatthatquestion.Mymotherworkedatabakery.Howdidheexpectmetoafford

college?Ididn’tevenownacar.

“No,I’llworkatthebakeryuntil…”andIdidn’tfinishthesentence.
“Until?”Hewasn’tgoingtoallowmetoleavethathanging.
“UntilIcanescapehere.”
Themusicchangedandthesongslowed.Heslidahandaroundtothesmallofmybackandeasedme

closertohim.Hisbodywastightagainstmine.Iwantedtostaylikethis.

“Howwereyouplanningtoescape?”HisvoicehaddroppedtoalowhuskywhisperandIshiveredat

thesound,acreepupmybackthatwaspleasantandlasting,wellpastthewordshe’dspoken.

“Idon’tknow,”Itoldhim.Tellinghimthetruthwouldsoundbad.Lettinghimknowthattheonly

realplanIhadatthemomentwasgettingamantotakemefromheresoundeddesperate.HemaythinkI
wasgoingtosinkmyclawsintohimandusehimformyescaperoute.Thetruthwas,Iwouldleaveonmy
ownifIcould.

“Ithinkyoudo,”hereplied.
Ilookedoverhisshouldertohidemyexpression.Iwasn’tgoodatconcealingmythoughts.Mygaze

landedonJamieandBen,nowhuddledcloselytogether,talkingawayfromthedancefloor.Ben’shandwas
on her left cheek, Jamie clinging to his every word. Things were going to be okay for them. Maybe this
wasn’t how Jamie wanted to start her life, but she loved Ben and that was enough. For some it wasn’t
enough.Formelovewasn’tenough.Butforthosetwoitwouldbe,becausetheysharedthesamedream,the
samewants.Thesameexpectationsandfears.

“I’mnotcallingyoualiar,”hesaid,gentlybendingclosetomyear.“Icanseetheintelligenceinyour

eyes.You’vethoughtaboutthisforyears.Possiblysinceyouwereoldenoughtoknowyouwantedmore.So
Iknowyouhaveaplan.”

Somethingabouthimmademewanttotellhimeverything.Evenifitmaysendhimrunningfrom

meandMoulton.Itwasn’tlikeIintendedtotraphim.Ididn’twanttoleavewithjustanymanthatcame
along. I glanced back at Ben and Jamie. I wanted that too. The intimacy of having someone near. Of
knowingyouwerewantedandloved.

“It’snotaplanexactly.It’sadream.AhopeIwanttoreveal.”Ithenturnedmyeyesbacktohis.“I

wanttofallinlove.Notwithaboyhere,butwithsomeonewhowantstotraveltheworld.Someonewith
moreambitionthantobuildahousewithawhitepicketfenceandhavebabiestilltheiruterusfallsout.”

Thatwasthetruthandhelaughed,sayingnothinginresponsetothestatement.Thesongendedanda

fastonebegan.Heslippedhishandintomineandwewalkedoffthefloor.Iwasawareoftheeyesonour
faces.Ifeltself-conscious,butthatshouldn’tbe,weweren’tstealingawaytogovanish.

Webothhadaglassofpunchandmytensioneasedasmidge.Heaskedaboutmyjobatthebakery,

my sisters, and my mom. The punch made me chatty. Or it was my nerves. I wasn’t sure which one. I
should’veprobablydownedanother.

After I had answered all his questions he stood up and thanked me for the dance. Then he left.

Nothingmore.Nopromisesofseeinghimagain.Nokiss.Noembrace.Nowink.HaleChristopherJude
IIIsimplywalkedaway.

C

HAPTER

T

WELVE

ITWASALLovertownwithinaweek.Everyonehadseenitandiftheyhadn’tseenittheyhadwitnessed
theglowofpurejoyonJamie’sfacewhenshepassed.Thetinydiamondwasn’tenoughtosparkle,buther
smilewasfiftyofthem.

BenandJamiewereengaged.Hehadaskedheronherfrontdoorsteptwonightsagoonhisknee.She

saidyesandpromptlygotinhercarandhurriedtomyhousetoshowmetheringhehadslidonherfinger.
Thefearfromlastweekwasgoneandinitsplacewashopeandexcitement,forafutureyetunlived.

“Iknowthisdoesn’tsoundappealingtoyou,butSam,it’sallI’veeverwanted.I’mgettingtolivemy

ownfairytale,”shehadsaid,tearswellinginhereyes.

I hugged her tightly and told her she deserved this fairytale. I couldn’t think of a princess more

deserving of her prince and then she bawled. I did not dread for her future, because she’d never wanted
anythingapartfromthistownandwhatitofferedtoherparents.Iunderstoodthatanditwasokay,my
dreamsbeingdifferent,becausewe’reallunique,twopeoplebeingrarelyalike.

Nowtheywerelookingathousesforrent.Hehadgottenasecondjobworkingwithhisfatherand

Jamie had gotten one too. That was the only way they could pay their own bills and she seemed happy
goingeveryday.Iwishedshecouldworkwithmeatthebakery,buttheyhadalltheemployeestheyneeded.

Gossip about the stranger in town had spread, but thankfully that ended with the news of the

engagement,whichhaltedeveryone’spredictionsaboutmerunningoffwiththeman.Mommahadgotten
windofitanddrilledmewithquestionsabouthim.AllIhadwashisname,hisresidencesandhissmell.
Maybeitwasthepunch,buthehadaskedmeallkindsofthingsandnotoncehadIthoughttoaskhim
somethingabouthimself.Thatcouldhavebeenwhyheleftlikehedid.HerealizedIwasself-absorbedand
hewantedmorethanthatinawoman.Iwouldn’tblamehimifthatwerethecase.Normally,Iwasmore
inquisitive,butwithhimIhadbeensofocusedonansweringhimproperlyIhadn’tthoughtaboutthefact
theconversationwasallaboutme.Andlet’sfaceit.Iwasboring.Haleprobablyhadtostopandgetcoffee
towakehimupandgethimhomeafterallmytalking.Sighing,IpickedupthebucketofcornthatIhad
justshuckedandheadedforthehouse.Mommahadtheothergirlsinsidemakingfriedpiesthatshesoldat
thechurchauctionlastSunday.Peoplewouldstartpickinguptheirfreshpiesthisafternoon.

It was a fundraiser for the church. I figured momma should sell the fried pies herself and make her

ownmoney,butshefrownedwhenImentionedit,likeIhadjustsaidacurseword.Henrywasinsideona
chairwatchingtheotherscloselyastheyworkedatthekitchentableandthecountertops.

“Getthatcornputaway,thenhelpcleanupinhere.There’sflourallovertheplace.Wedon’tneedit

lookingthismessywhenfolkscometopickuptheirpies.IneedyoutotakeMrs.WintersandHarrietand
oldmanGarththeirpies.TheydogoodtomakeittothechurchhouseonSunday,Godblesstheirshutin
souls.”

Igrabbedthebroomandstartedsweepingafterputtingthecorninthepantry.Thechurchauction

happenedaboutthreetofourtimesayeardependingonhowmuchmoneytheyneededifthetithingwere
insufficient. Folks may have a hard time putting their money in an offering plate the way the Bible tells
them to, but they sure didn’t have a hard time buying momma’s friend pies with it. Or the other baked
goods that were auctioned off. They liked getting something for their money other than a promise of
blessings.That,theycouldnoteat.Forthismommawouldslapmyface.

Mommaalwayssaidthiswouldn’tbeneededifthey’dalljustreadtheirBiblesandfollowtherulesas

written.IfigurediftheBiblewasfullofrulesthennowondertheydidn’twanttoreadit.Ilikedthestories
init,especiallytheromanticones,thoughoftenweirdlyviolent.Iwasn’tmuchofafanoftherulesthough.

“Givemeabitepwease?”Henrybeggedashewatchedthemspoontheblueberryandsugarmixture

intothekneadeddough.

“Don’tyoustartthatHenry.Thosearen’tforus.GogetaragandhelpSammyJocleanthecounter

tops.”

I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. Henry should get at least one little pie. He didn’t

understand all this giving to the Lord stuff. He was a baby. If momma didn’t have them so damndably
accounted,Iwouldsneakhimabigpielater.Butshe’dknowitwasmissingandI’dendupconfessingand
havetolistentoherant.

“Youseenthatrichmanagainsincethebarndance?”Bessyasked,flashingamischievoussmileover

herloweredshoulder.Sheknewbringingthatupinfrontofmommawouldonlycausemegrief.

“IwishIcouldhaveseenhim,”Hazeladdedwistfully.
Millyloosedasighthenrolledhereyes.“Hewasn’tabigdeal.Peopletalktoomuch.Idoubthewas

evenwealthy.Justbecausehewasdressedupdon’tmakehimrich.”Theannoyanceinhervoicewashardto
miss.

“You’rejustjealoushedidn’tdancewithyou,”Bessysaid.
“Sohecouldrunoffandleavemealoneatthedanceforthewholetowntosee?Nothankyou.Iwas

happywithmydatewhotookmehomeandwalkedmetomydoor.”

Thiswasn’tacompetition.ButtoMillymostthingswere.Iignoreditandfinishedmychores.
“EveryoneknowsSammyJoistheprettiestgirlintown.He’llbeback,”Bessydeclared.
I didn’t look to see Milly’s reaction. She hated it when our appearances were mentioned. I thought

Millywaspretty.Iwasn’tanythingspecial.Wehadalotofthesamefeatures.Butnoonehadeveractedas
iftheyneededtoprotectMillyfromtheworldofmen.Me,ontheotherhand,mommahadbeendifferent
with.LikeIrequiredspecialprotection.

“That’s enough,” Momma said, stopping the conversation before it got worse. “We’ve got pies to

makeandworktodo.Notalkingaboutboysanddating.That’snonsenseunlessyougotaringonyour
finger.”

“LikeJamiedoes,”Hazelchimedinwithexcitement.
Mommanodded.“Yes,likeJamie.”

C

HAPTER

T

HIRTEEN

JAMIE WAS MAKING wedding plans and Ben had stopped glaring at me in the way that made me
nervous.HewasmarryingJamieandrespectedthat.Ievensawaffectioninhisgazewhenhelookedather.
Itmadethingseasierandmoredifficultforusallatthesametime.Ihadsuddenlybecomethethirdwheel
oratleastIfeltthatway.Oureasyfriendshipwasnolonger.JamiewasmybestfriendandBenwasnowher
fiancé.

Myworldherewaschanginganditwastime.Itwastimeitchangedforallofus.Theideaofmybest

friendshavingababywasexciting.Seeingthemgofromthekidsweweretoparentswassomethingthey
bothwantedandtheywerehappyaboutit.Personally,myself,Iwasreadyforsomethingdifferent,formy
own selfish plans to unfold. Seeing them start their life anew made me want to do the same. That just
meantgettingoutofhere.Whichwasalotmoredifficultwithoutthemeansandthemeansmeantmore
money.

ThismorningIhadtowalktothebakery.MommaleftearlysoIchosetowalk,theexercisewasgood

forme,andbeingoutofdoors,insteadofinthebakery,wouldhelpwithhavingtositinsidestaringatthe
wallsallday.

Soon friends would start going off to college. Even if it wasn’t a college far away, it was still

somewhere else. I wanted to do the same, that being the best of my options. But I wasn’t scholarship
materialandmommacouldn’taffordtuitionorboardorevenqualifyforthebasicloans.Shealsoneeded
myhelpatthebakeryandIjustcouldn’tleavehertwisting.

A car slowed down beside me. I turned my head to see a black Mercedes, a sedan all slick and

gleaming. The passenger’s window lowered automatically and there was Hale Christopher Jude III as
presentasthecloudsinthesky.

“Goodmorning,”hesaid,withthatsmilethatwasalmosttooperfect.
“Morning,” I replied, smiling also. Apparently he hadn’t been bored enough to stay away too long.

“Youintownforacupcake?”Iaskedhim.

Hegavemeasmallshrug.“Thatwouldn’tbeabadidea,butIwasactuallyhopingtotalktoyou.”
Oh.“Okay,”Isaid,slowingtoastopashedid.
“Wanttogetin?”Iwastaughtnottogetintoacarwithstrangers.Butthiswasn’tastranger.Sure,I

knewverylittleabouthim,butIdidknowenoughIguess.OratleastIthoughtIdid.OpeningthedoorI
climbed inside wondering if anyone was watching. The idea of my mother standing outside the bakery

readytoscoldmeinfrontofHalemademeanxious.Butthiswasdefinitelyworthit.Thesmellthatmet
mewashiscologneandtheluxurioussmellofnewcar.Iinhaledtwiceratherdeeply.

“Didyouenjoytherestoftheeveningatthedance?”
Ididn’tstayafterheleft,butIwasn’tsureIshouldtellhimthat.Itmademesoundpathetic.“The

punch made everything enjoyable,” I joked and he chuckled in response: “yeah, I guess that would help.
However,thelittleIwasthere,Ienjoyeditcompletelysober.”

Ifeltmycheekswarmandblush.“Itsurewasasurpriseyoubeingthere,”Isaid,expertlyduckingmy

headsomycheeksweren’tondisplay.

“Really?Iwouldhavethoughtmyinterestwasobvious.DoyouthinkIactuallycomeintotownso

oftenforcupcakes?Surelyyou’verealizedmyvisitsareaboutyou.”

This was my Cinderella moment. I wanted to take a photo, or better yet video this. Have it as a

memorysowhenitwasoverIcouldrememberitactuallyhappened.Ineededtorespondappropriately.He
waspolishedandrefinedandworldly.Ididn’tneedtoremindhimIwasn’tbysayingstupidthings.Iliked
himcomingaroundandI’ddealwithmommaintime.

“Honestly,Ithoughtyoucamethroughhereonyourwaytoworkandlikedthecoffeeandcupcakes.”
Helaughed.Ihopedthatwasagoodlaugh.Onethatmeanthewasreallyamusedandnotmakingme

feelbetteraboutmytrue,butgoofyresponse.

“That’swhatIlikeaboutyou.You’resoinnocentandsweet.Womenwhoaregenerallyasbeautifulas

youarenevereitherofthose.Atleastnotinmyexperience.”

Iwasn’tbeautifullikethewomeninhisworld.Theyhadmoneytomakethemevenmorebeautiful.

Butashemeasuredmenexttothemitmademesmile,feelspecialandadorehim.

“CanItakeyoutodinner?Ienjoyedthedanceimmensely.ButI’dliketospendsometimewithyou,

sowecantalkandgettoknoweachother,withouttheloudmusicandsetsofeyesstaringdirectlyatus.”

Mommawasn’tgoingtolikethis.Iwouldhandlethat.IfIhadtolieaboutwhereIwasgoingIwould

dothatinasecond.Thiswasagreatopportunity.Ididn’twanttomissthis.Halecouldbemyfuture.

“Iwouldloveto,”Itoldhim,tryingnottosmiletoobrightly,appearingpsychoticandthenscaring

himaway,leavingme,again,inMoulton.

“Tonight?Seven?”
Iwasn’tsurehowtopullthisoff.“Yes.Sevensoundsgood.”Iwouldhavealldaytoscheme,tofigure

outhowtohandlemomma.

Hepulleduptothebakeryandparkedthecar.“I’llpickyouuphere?Orathome?”
Goodquestion.IfIhadtolietomomma,thenhimcomingtomyhousewaspotentiallydisastrous.

Butifhepickedmeupheresomeonecouldseeusandtellherwithinaminute.

Letting him sit to wait on my response wasn’t helping matters in the least. I needed to make a

decision.“Myhouse,”Iblurted,reachingintomypurse,bringingoutareceiptandpen.Ihadtogivehim
directions. He had a fancy GPS, but my home was on a dirt road and I was sure it wouldn’t assist him.
“Here,Iwrotemyaddressontheside,butIseriouslydoubtaGPScantrackpovertyintoaholler.Sorry,I
meantahollow.”
Henodded,chuckledandtuckeditinhispocket.“I’llseeyouatsevencrazy.”

“Okay.”BeforeIopenedthedoorandgotoutIknewmommawouldhavetobefaced,sooner,rather

thanlater,ifshesawmeleavingthiscar.“Andyou’llprobablyhavetocomeinsideandtalktomomma,”I
toldhim,apologeticallyhangingmyhead.

Hegrinned:“neverdoubtedthat.Knewthatwascomingfromthestart.”

C

HAPTER

F

OURTEEN

IWASFORTUNATEenoughthatmommadidn’tseemeexitingHale’scar.Thisgavemeallmorningto
workandpreparemycaseforwhenIaskedherabouttonight.Shewantedustobemarriedandhavethe
liveswewanted.IjustneededhertorealizeHalecouldverywellbecomethat.Thenagain,hemayjustbe
anotherguywithinterest,buthecouldalsobemoreIthought.Ineededthechancetofindout.

WhenthedoorchimedfromthelastmorningcustomerIknewIhadagap,theafterlunchcrowdstill

awaysoffandIintendedtodealwithmomma.Ineededtotalktoherbeforemysistersheardit.Their
opinionsonthesubjectweren’trequired¸thoughtheywouldrequiretheirairing,toanyandallthatwould
listen.Theywerenosyletmetellyou.

I straightened my apron, adjusted my hair and made sure my hands were clean. I was preparing to

approachmymotheranddidn’twantmyappearancedistracting.Shelikedmetolookacertainwayforthe
customersandformyself.SometimesIforgottostraightenmyapronorwashflourfrommyhands.That
annoyedthewoman.BeforeIwentbackItookapeekatthemirrorsetintothewallbehindme.Deciding
IwasgoodIheadedtothekitchenwhereIcouldsmellthebanananutbreadbakingassheworkedonan
order. That was a treat she’d make for us every once and awhile. Especially if the bananas over ripened.
Mommadidn’tbelieveinthrowingawayfood.She’dfindauseeverytime.

The door swung open then closed. Momma turned her head and glanced at me over her floured

shoulder.“Sprinklethosedoughnutswithpowderedsugar.Goturnonthedoughnutssign.”

Great.Notgoodtiming.“Iwasgoingtoaskyousomething.”
“Doughnutsdon’tstayhotforever.Getthemsold,”shereplied.
Ididn’twanttoangerhersoIdidasIwastoldandwentbackouttothefront.Iputthemondisplay,

turnedonthesign,andsureenoughwithintenminutesfivecustomerscamerightin.Weweredowntoa
dozen when Mayor Harley bought them “for the office.” From the looks of the man I imagined he was
hidinginhiscarwithaglassofmilkshovingthemdownhisthroat.Doughnutsweren’tsomethingmomma
didoften.Theybroughtinpeoplefast,sellingoutwithinthehour.Thespecialtysignwe’dputintheglass
madethedoughnutsvanishquickly.“Okay,let’strythisagain.”IturnedoffthesignafterMr.Harleyleft
andonceagainpreparedmyself.

She was stirring her large mixing bowl, but there was nothing coming out of the oven. Again, she

glancedatme.“Specialorder?”sheasked.

“Noma’am.It’squietafterthedoughnuts.Mr.Harleyjustboughtthelastdozen.”
Momma made a tsk-tsk sound. Shook her head and frowned. “Hope he doesn’t eat them all. The

man’sgonnakeeloveranddieifhekeepsoneatinglikehedoes.”

“Yeah,”Iagreed.
“What is it you’re needing of me?” Momma wasn’t one to waste time. She didn’t believe in

procrastinationandidlingwaswhenthedevilworked.

“Thewealthymanthatcomesinhere…”
“Theonethatshowedupatthedance?Hashebeenbacktoday?”
Inodded.“Yesma’am,hehas,andIreallylikehim.He’ssuccessfuland…”
“…he’srichandsawyourfaceandjustcan’tstayaway.Thinkshecanbuyanythinghewantsandthat

nowincludesyou.”

Thiswasnotgoingwell.“No,it’snotlikethat.He’sgenerousandthoughtfulandhemakesmelaugh

andheasksquestionsaboutme.Herarelytalksabouthimself.”

Mommacontinuedtostir,whileherfrowndidnotlift.“He’saskedyououtonadate?”
Inodded.“Yes.AndIwanttogo.It’stonightatsevenandIgavehimdirectionstoourhousesoyou

canmeethim.Helikesmemommaandhe’s…notfromhereinMoulton.”

Shesighedandsatthebowldown.“HimnotbeingfromMoultoniswhat’smostimportanttoyou.

Youcan’tpickamanbecauseofhisaddress.Lovehappensoritdon’t.Menwiththatkindofmoneylove
theirwayoflife,lovebuyingwhattheywant,notnecessarilywhattheyneed.ThathavingbeensaidIknew
onedayyou’dcatchtheeyeofarichman.IfIsaynoyou’llgoanyway,evenwalkrightoutthedoor.Solet
himcome.I’lltalktotheman.JustrememberSammyJo,notallfairytalesarereal,trueorwise.Firstly,
theyaretales.There’smoretoamanthanhismoneyandwhathecangiftyouwithhiswallet.It’shisheart
thatmattersmost.”

Mommararelysaidthismanywords.Shewasn’tonetowastetime.EvenifIdidn’tagree,Ilistened

becauseshewasmymother.She’dbeenhurtbyamananditshowed.SurehehadleftherHenry,andthe
boywasworthitall,butmommadidn’ttrustmen.Notsincedaddydied.Shefeltbetrayedinhisdeathand
theabsenceofanotherandthatcan’tleaveyouanystrength,excepttotrudgethroughtheday.

“Yesma’am.Thankyou,”Ireplied.Ireallywantedtodoalittledance,butthatcouldwaituntilIwas

alonetosavethehumiliation.

“Go on now before Deloris shows up. She’ll want the rest of the raspberry tarts for her dessert

tonight.”

Ididn’targue.Iwasshockedthatthishadbeeneasy.Ifmommadidn’thavethehighesthopesformy

futurewithHaleinthelongrun,atleastIwouldhavetheexperience.Datingwasn’tsomethingIdidmuch
of because I didn’t have a pool to choose from. They were all here for life. This was my first chance at
somethingoutsideofMoulton,Alabama.EvenifthenightwasafailureatleastIhadthatchance.

When I got back to the front Deloris was walking inside. It was just like momma had predicted. I

boxedupherraspberrytartswithasillygrinonmyface.Icouldn’thelpit,Iwassillyandexcited,mylife
shiftingtowardsthepositive.

The next five customers kept me busy and moving. They were buying their after dinner treats and

askingquestionsaboutmomma’sbaking,whatwewouldhavetomorrow.AlmosttwohourspassedbeforeI
gotachancetositonmystoolandthink.WhatwillIwear?Howtofixmyhair?Wherewouldwegoon
thedate?Allofthathadmyheadspinning,untilfourrolledaroundandweclosedthedoorsandheaded

homefortheevening.Mommadidn’tsayonewordaboutHaleonourdriveorwhenwearrived.Shewas
quiet.Uncomfortablyso.

C

HAPTER

F

IFTEEN

FOR A GIRL with a very limited wardrobe I managed to change clothes five times. Keeping tonight a
secretfrommysisterswasimpossible.EspeciallysinceIborrowedMilly’sblackskirt.Millywasn’tthereand
whenshegothomeIwasgoingtobeintrouble,butIwaswillingtofacethewrathofmysistertolooknice
tonight.

BessywasthefirsttonoticemyskirtwhenIwalkedintothekitchen.
“Pretty,”Henrysaid,beamingupatme.AtleastIwasappreciatedbytheonlymaleinthefamily.
“Milly’sgonnakillyou,”Bessysanginasingsongvoice.
“I’llmakeituptoher.Myclothesarefreeforhertoborrowanytimeshewants.”
Mommawasorganizingthepantrywithallthecanningwehaddone.Shepausedandturnedtolook

atme.IwaspreparedforhertotellmetotakeMilly’sskirtoffandifthatwasthecaseIhadabackup.It
wasn’tasperfectasthis,butitwoulddo.

“IreckonIboughtthatskirtforMilly’sgraduation.Shecanshare.Lordknowsshe’saskedtoborrow

enoughsinceshestarteddating.”

Iexhaledasighofrelief.Iwasn’tgoingtohavetochange.IfmommasaidIcouldwearit,thenIknew

Iwasgoingtobesafe.

Bessyclickedhertongue.“Shestillain’tgonnabehappy.”
Mommawavedherhandasifthatdidn’tmatterandwentbacktothepantry.
“Whenishegettinghere?”Bessyasked.Shewasalmostasanxiousasme.Shehadn’tseenHalebefore

andonlyknewhimasthecupcakeguy.Iwasn’tsureItrustedherandwhatshemightsay,althoughIdidn’t
haveachoice.Itwasn’tlikemommawouldletmelockherinacloset.

“Seven,”Itoldher.
“MommasaidhisnameisHale.Notcupcakeman,”shesaidgrinning.
“Cupcakes?”Henry’seyeslitupatthewordandhelookedatmehopefully.
“Nocupcakestonightbuddy,”Itoldhim,rufflinghisblondecurls.
Henry’ssmilecollapsedandIwishedIhadsomethingtogivehim.
“No need for cupcakes tonight. I’m making banana nut bread. The bananas are getting too ripe. I

needtostopbuyingthemify’allaren’tgoingtoeatthem.Thegrapesgetgonethough.Figuresy’allwould
eattheexpensivefruit.”Mommaspokefromthepantrylikeshewasspeakingtoherselfandnotaoneofus
werelistening.

“Youaren’twearingmuchmakeup,”Bessysaid,changingthesubjectandbringingthingsbacktomy

date.NotexactlywhatIwanted.

“Shedon’tneedmakeup,”mommareplied.

Bessysighedandcrossedherarmsoverherchest.“It’snotfairthatSammyJogotallthelooks.Shebarely
leftanyfortherestofus.Ineedmakeup.”

Bessyhadbeengoingonaboutwearingmakeupforayear.Shearguedthattheothergirlsinhergrade

were wearing it. Momma didn’t care about other girls, or what people thought in general. Bessy should
knowbetterthanthat.ButsillinesswasBessy’sbiggestflaw.Ihopedshegrewoutgrewit.

Hazelwalkedinfromthebackyard,thescreendoorclosingbehindher.Shewascarryingabasketof

corn.Whenshesawmeshestoppedandsmiled.“Wow,youlookbeautiful.”

“See,”Bessysaid,pointingatme.“Shegotallthelooks.Don’tbetoomesmerized,orexpecttherest

ofustostunyou,becausenoneofuslooklikeher.”

MommasighedinexasperationandgaveBessyawarning:“that’senoughfromyouandthatmouth.”
Iglancedattheclockabovethetableanditwasexactlyseven.Mynerveswerealreadyfrayed.Butthis

madeitworse,becausehewasnear,andwouldbehereanyminute.WhatifIwasn’tdressedniceenough?
ThesewerethenicestclothesIcouldassemble.

“Ohmylord!Wouldyoulookatthatcar!”Bessyblurtedandrantothewindow.Shepeeredoutsideat

thevehiclethatwecouldallhearapproachingthehouse.Iwasrelievedhehadfoundmyhomeandequally
readytovomitfromthewadthatrestedinmystomach.BeforeBessyopenedhermouthIwantedtoget
himaway.Thatwasmymaingoal.

“That’s enough. Heat the oven and grab the biscuits. They’re on the iron skillet in the freezer. Put

thosevegetablesintothecrockpot,”MommatoldBessyrudely.Shewasmakingherbusytosootheme.

“GoonandgetthefrontdoorandI’llbethereinaminutetomeettheman.”
Iwantedtogohugmommaandthankherforbeingcompletelyawesome.SheknewBessywasgoing

toactridiculoussoshekeptheroccupied.

“Thankyou,”Imurmured,hurryingpastthemintothelivingroomwherethefrontdoorwas.We

neverusedthatdoor.Wealwayscamethroughtheback,directlyintothekitchen.

IwatchedfromthewindowasHalewalkedthesidewalkandmanagedthewornwoodenstepsofmy

porch.Althoughmommastainedandsealedthemonceayeartheywerestillaging.Daddybuiltthatporch
whenIwasjustakid.Theshadetheoldoakprovidedkeptthesunfromwearingitcompletely.Otherwiseit
wouldhavefallenapart.

Iexpectedhimtobeinslacksorsomethingfancy.Thejeansandcottonpolohewaswearingcameasa

surprise.Agoodone.ThatmeantIwasn’tunderdressed.Ifiguredhisjeansprobablycostafortune,but
they were still jeans. The pink and yellow roses in his hand made my cheeks flush. I’d never been given
flowerslikethat.Sure,I’dhadaroseoradaisygiventomeatschoolonValentine’sDayorwhensomeone
askedmetotheprom,butnothingthatextravagant.Therehadtobetwo-dozenrosesinthere,likeIhad
wonapageant.

HeknockedandIwenttothedoortoopenit.Thiswasit,thepossiblebeginningtomynewpresent

anddistantfuture,ormaybeneitherone.Tonightwasimportanteitherway.

Theinstantlookofappreciationwhenhesawmemademyheartflutter.
“Youarebreathtaking,”hesaid,withasenseofaweinhisvoice.

“Thankyou,”Ireplied,notsurewhatelsetosay.ThenIsteppedbacksohecouldcomeinsideand

once inside I informed him. “Momma is coming. She’s getting my younger sister’s started on making
dinner.Thenshe’llbeinhere.”

Hewasstilllookingatme.“I’minnorush.”
Ikeptwaitingonhimtohandmetheroses.WasIsupposedtooffertotakethemandputthemin

water? Perhaps I should yank them away? I’ve seen this happen in movies, though I wasn’t sure what I
shoulddo.Ithoughtthemanhandedthewomantheflowersandthencommentedonherlooks.

Momma walked into the room before I could decide and her attention went directly to Hale. He

immediatelyresponded,shiftinghisbody,givingmommaarespectfuldistance.

“Goodevening,MarjalineKnox,”shesaid,holdingoutherhand.
Haletookitinthehandthatwasfree:“HaleJude,ma’am.”Thenhehandedtherosestoher.“These

areforyou.Awaytothankyoufortrustingmewithyourdaughterthisevening.It’sobviouswhereshegets
herlooksfrom.”

Hewasgoodatthis.AsclichéasthathadsoundedIthinkmymotherblushed.Jude’sattractivenesswas

hardtoignore.Evenforawomanmymother’sage.Yousimplyhadtolookattheman.

“Thankyou.Iexpectherhomebyeleventhirty.She’sagoodgirl,HaleJude.Iwanthertoreturnthat

way.”

Henodded.“Ofcourse.”
I, on the other hand, wanted to crawl under the table and hide. This sounded like a talk a mother

wouldgiveahighschoolpromdate.Notagrownman.Iwasn’tachildanymore.

“Wellthen,it’sgoodtomeetyou,”shesaid,thenturnedherattentiontome.“Haveagoodtime.”
Thatwascodefordon’tdoanythingstupidandbehomewhenIsaid.
“Yesma’am,”Ireplied.
“Momma,Bessywon’tletmeeatacookie!”Henrycriedasheranintotheroom.HesawHaleand

froze,hiseyesgrowinglarge,unaccustomedtoamanbeingpresent.

“That’sbecauseit’salmostdinnertime.GetbackinthatkitchenandsetthetablelikeItoldyou.”
Henryresponded“okay,”hiseyesneverleavingHale’s.Mybrotherbackedawayasifhealoneknew

somethingwedidn’tbeforehand.Henrythenturnedtorun.Iwouldrememberthishappenedlater.Then
itallwentbacktonormal.“Gwirls!There’samaninyonder!”

I grinned and looked at Hale. He seemed rather amused. “That was Henry my little brother. He’s

cherishedthecupcakesyoubought.”

Halechuckled.“I’llhavetoremembertostopbythebakerymoreoften.”
Mommafrownedatthat.Iwasn’tsureifitwasbecausetheideaofHenryeatingmoresugarwasabad

one,orthatHalesmotheringmewasabother.EitherwayIdecidedweneededtogetoutoftherebefore
BessymadeupareasontocomeintheroomorMillygothomefromwork.

“I’llseeyoutonightmomma.”Ithenturnedtocuetheleaving.
Halefollowedandopenedthedoorformetogothroughfirst.
“Again,itwasapleasuremeetingyou,”hetoldmomma.Sheshookherheadinresponseandthenleft.
OnceweweresafelyoutsideIexhaled.
“Yousoundrelieved.”Histonewasamused.

“Trust me. The worst part of the evening is over. With that I have abundant experience. We were

lucky,fortunateandblessed.”

Helaughed.Thoughtitwasfunny.Hedidn’tknowI’ddefusedabomb.Orhowbadlythatcould’ve

gone.

C

HAPTER

S

IXTEEN

I’MNOTSUREexactlywhatIexpected.Butthiswasn’tit.AburgerjointontheAlabama-Tennesseeline
wasdefinitelynotwhatIhadinmindwhenIthoughtaboutwhereHaleChristopherJudeIIIwouldtake
meonadate.ThegoodthingwasIwasn’toverdressed.However,IguessmaybeIthoughtanicesteak
placewouldbehischoice.Like,perhaps,AllSteakinCullman.I’dalwaysheardhowgooditwasandsome
of my friends had gone on dates there. When I was dressing this evening All Steak had been my hope,
whereIthoughtHalewouldtakeme.

ThisplacewasnotAllSteak.
TheexpensivesmellofleatherinHale’sMercedesputmeinthemindsetofcountryclubsandfancy

things.EvenifthiswasouronlydateIwantedthememoryofwhatthatfeltlike.Theburgerplacehadred
plastic booths with linoleum tables that looked like they hadn’t been updated since nineteen seventy.
RecordshungonthewallandLeanOnMeplayedontheradio.Hewasgiddyandhappytobehere.

Halefurthersurprisedmebyorderingacheeseburgerwithfries.Hedidn’tlooklikethekindofman

toeatsomethingsogreasy.Iwentwiththemeatloafbecauseatplaceslikethisthatwasalwaysthebestthing
onthemenu.Hetookasipofhissoda,alsosomethingIhadn’timaginedhimdrinking,Halestrikingme
asanexpensivebourbonorbrandyguy.LiketheonesIreadaboutinbooks.

“Areyouplanningongoingtocollege?”heasked,leaningbackinhischeapplasticseatthatwasfaded

fromthesunonacorner.

“I…,”andthenIstopped.
ThiswasalineofquestioningIhadn’texpected.Ifiguredhehadsomedegreefromacollegethatwas

private with ivy on the walls and with students who wore sweaters and caps. Hearing my honest answer
wasn’tgoingtoimpresshim,butIwasn’tonetolie.

“No.Wecan’taffordthat.Milly,myoldersister,putherselfthroughcosmetologyschool.She’sahair

stylistnow.ButIdon’tmuchwanttodothat.Ihatefixingmyownhairmuchlesssomeoneelse’s.And
thereain’tajobformethatwouldpayfulltuition,exceptmaybedancingonapole,thatwouldputme
throughinfouryears.”

Halelaughedatthat.Thenhenoddedhishead.“Agreed,itwouldtakeagoodpayingjobtogetyou

throughcollege.”

InallhonestyIhadconsideredthedancingonapolething.Once.ButIfiguredthatwasn’tforme.

My momma would die of embarrassment and I just couldn’t do that to her. Not to mention my daddy
would roll over in his grave. I knew a girl who did it for a year. She flew off of the pole, helicoptered

around,andtookouttheentirefrontrow.Hertipsthatnightcameto$1,200andsheonlyfracturedan
ankle.That’sabeautifulstory.

“Soyourplaniswhat?”heaskedme.
Thiswasanevenlessimpressiveanswer.Whycouldn’twetalkaboutsomethingelse?Myfuturewasn’t

whatIimaginedusdiscussing.Maybeourtasteinmusicorplaceswewantedtogo?Inhiscaseplaceshehad
been.

“I’llworkatthebakeryfornow.ThenonedaytherightopportunitywillcomealongandI’lltakeit.

Leavethattownbehind.Notsurehow,butIwill.Forthemomentthough,I’llwait.”

Hefellsilent.Itookadrinkofmysweetteaandwonderedifmyanswerwasn’tgoodenough.Evenif

IhadtogetanotherjobtosavemoneyIwouldgetoutofMoulton.

“HowlonghaveyouwantedtoleaveMoulton?”
“AslongasIcanremember,”Ireplied.“Maybelonger.”
Hethenleanedforwardonthetable.“IthinkImighthaveanidea.Somethingforyoutoconsider.I

don’texpectadecisionrightaway.”

MyheartbeganbeatingsohardinmychestIcouldhearitinmyears.AnideatogetoutofMoulton?

Iwantedtosay“YES”rightnow,thoughIwaitedforhimtocontinue,beforeagreeingtoanything.

“IhaveapenthouseinManhattanImentionedbefore.Myliveincaretakerhasretiredfromoldage.

Itwastoomuchforhertokeepthingsup.Ineedsomeonetolivethere,totakecareoftheplace,keepit
cleanandprepareitwithfoodwhenI’mcomingintotown.Couldbeshortnoticeandmostofthetimeit
isontheshortestofnotice.Ilikethingskeptcleanandtidyatalltimes.Idon’tallowemployeestohave
visitorsinmyhome.Idon’tliketheintrusivenessofthat.Otherwise,it’sasimplejob.Notverydemanding
unlessI’mintownandchoosetoentertainaguest,whichIoftendoyousee.”Hepausedandlookedatme
amoment.“Areyouinterested?ItisinManhattan.Thiswouldbeanadventure.”

Words wouldn’t come. I lost them. This was not what I expected. With the cupcakes and flirting I

actuallythoughthewantedtodatemeoutright.Buthe’dbeenlookingforsomethingelse.Thoughitwas
mywayoutofMoulton.

Iglancedaroundthedinerandthenrealizedhehadbroughtmehereforareason.SoIwouldn’tget

thewrongidea.HisinterestinmeandtheplansformyfuturewerebecauseIhadbeenonajobinterview
andhadn’tknowntillnow.ThisallmadesenseandIsmirked.Hewaspolishedandrefined.Iwasn’t.He
couldn’tinvitemeintohisworldassomeonehewasdating.

Butthiswasthechanceofalifetime.
“Thepaywouldbeonethousanddollarsaweekplusroomandboard.Youwouldbuythegrocerieson

acreditcardIgiveyouandyourmealswouldbecovered.Ialsoofferhealthinsurancetoallemployees.”

Holycrap!Ionlymadeeighthundreddollarsamonthnow.
Hewaswaitingformetorespond.Tooffersomesortofreply.AllIcouldmanagewasanodofmy

headbecauseIwasleveledwithshock.

“That’sayesthen?”heasked,agrinonhisfaceandthenInoddedagainandquicklyheaskedthenext

one.

“Wellthen,howsooncanyoumove?”
How soon could I move? Leave Moulton and move to Manhattan. Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy

freakingcrap!WasIdreaming?Didhelacethemeatloaf?Frowning,Ifoundthewords.“Isthisadream?
Aremyorgansgoingtobestolen?WillIbesoldintosexslavery?”

His laughter grew and the way it made his eyes shine was beautiful and strangely dark. Hale had

becomemyboss.Nothingmore.Hewashiringmetoworkinaplacewhereheonlyvisitedbriefly.Ihadto
rememberthis.

“It’s not a dream, Sam,” he replied, surprising me by shortening my name. “This is very real. An

opportunity.”

Ipinchedmyselfjusttobesure.Thesmallsharppainwasarelief.
“Thisweek.Icanleavethisweek.”

C

HAPTER

S

EVENTEEN

IWASHOMEanhourbeforemommasaidIshouldbe.Afterourbusinessdinnerwedrovebacktomy
houseandhewalkedmetothedoorthengavemehisnumber,tookmineandsaidhe’dbeintouchby
Mondaywithmytravelarrangements.

There was obviously no kiss and the whole flirty-interested vibe I’d gotten from him in our past

meetingswascompletelygone.Nowhewasveryprofessionalandbusinesslike.

WhenIwalkedinthedoorIheardmommainthekitchen.Shewasnormallyinbedthistimeofthe

night.Withmybeingoutshewasn’tgoingtosleep.AfterItoldheraboutmynewjobIwonderedifshe
wouldsleepatall.Actually,Iwasn’tsurehowshewasgoingtofeelaboutthis.WouldshebehappythatI
wasfindingawaytoseetheworldorupsetaboutmyleavinghome,alonetoNewYorkCity?EitherwayI
wasgoing.Ijustdidn’twanttoupsether.Iwantedhertobehappyforme.

“Hedidn’taskmeoutbecausehe’sinterestedinmethewayyouthink.”
Shefoldedthetowelinherhands,placeditbythesinkandthenlookedupatme.“Isthatso?”
Inodded.“HewantstohiremeasahousekeeperathispenthouseinManhattan.Hehasseveralplaces

allovertheworldandtheladyhehadworkinginthisoneretired.Thepayisonethousandaweekplus
room,board,andhealthinsurance.”

There,Isaiditall.
Mommapulledoutachairfromaroundthetableandsankdownwithawearysigh.“You’regonnago

aren’tyou.”

Itwasn’taquestion.Itwasjustacceptance.Minusanyexcitement.
“It’smywayout,momma.Mychancetoliveanotherlife.Icansavemoneyandthenmaybegoto

collegeorwiththisreferencegetanotherjobwhenit’stime.Thisisthemeanstothatend.Withoutaman
attached.”

Sheshookherhead.“That’swhereyou’rewrong.Thereisamanattached.”
“Yes, but he’s my boss. He took me to a diner momma. Nothing fancy. He talked business and

explained that when he was in town he would entertain guests and I was to keep it clean and the food
stocked.Thatwasit.Healsosaidheonlycameafewdaysamonth.”

“Ishemarried?”sheaskedme.
Ishookmyhead.“No.”Honestly,Iwasn’tsure.Hedidn’tweararing,butdidthatmeananything?
“Doeshehaveagirlfriend?Fiancé?”
“Possibly, probably, I don’t know. We just talked about my job and that’s it. He doesn’t share his

personalstuffwithme.”

Mommarubbedherhandoverherfaceandforamomentwesatthere,neitherofusspeaking.The

realitythatIwastakingthisjobandleavingwassettlinginforusboth.

“Reckonyou’regrownandIcan’ttellyouanydifferent.Youwantoutofthisplaceandthisisaticket

out.Butrememberthesewords:ain’tnomanhiresagirlwithyourlookstojustcleanhishouseandcook.
He’llwantmore.Maybenotnow,buthewill.Andyou’llhavetomakethatdecision.Justknowthatthis
hereishomeandwhenyouneedtorunbackthedoorisalwaysopen.”

This was home. The girls, even though they could drive me nuts, were a part of me forever. And

Henrywasmyheart.Iwouldmissthemall.Especiallymomma.Butlivingwithsecurity,andalwayssense,
wasn’tthewaytochaseyourdreams.Dreamswerescary.Thiswassupposedtobescary.

“Iknowmomma.”
She nodded her head, released a sigh and stood on weary legs. “Since you were a little girl I knew

you’dbetheonetoleaveme.Thatfacehasstoppedtrafficandbroughtattentionallyourlife.Youdon’tsee
itorfeelit,butMr.Haledoes.Don’tforgetthat.He’samanandyou’rebeautiful.Insideandout.Don’t
letthateverchangeSammyJo.”

Istoodtoclosethedistancebetweenus.Tearsstungmyeyesandmommawrappedmeinherarms.“I

loveyou,”Itoldher,asthefirsttearrolleddownmycheek.

“AndIloveyou.”
Westoodlikethatforalongtime.Myfutureplayingoutinourheads,imaginingwhatitwouldbe

likeinNewYorkCityreallysoon.HowmylifewouldchangeandIwouldadjust.Iknewmommawasfull
ofconcernsandfears.I’dcallherweeklyandkeepherupdated.Afterawhileshewouldn’tworry.She’dsee
Iwasabletohandleit,wasgoingtobeokay.

ShebelievedHalewasattractedtomybeauty.Mommadidn’trealizetherewerebeautifulwomenwith

classandmoneyallaroundhim.Hecoulddatemodelsandheiresses.Iwasn’ttheprettiestgirlintheworld.
Thoughconvincingmymommaofthatwasimpossible.SoIletitgo.Iknewthiswasabusinessagreement.
MyattractiontoHalewouldfadewithtimeoratleastIhopeditwould.Ididn’tneedtobeattractedtomy
boss.Thatwouldleadtoheartache.InManhattanIwouldn’tstandoutlikeIapparentlydidinMoulton.
Therewouldbebeautyandwealthallaroundme.Iwouldbenothingelsebutme.Ilookedforwardtothat.

ButIwasgoingtomissthishouse.Mymomma,sisters,brother,Jamie,Benandeventhebakery,were

allapartofme.ThelargestsliceofwhatIwasandinthefuturewouldbecome.Thisplacehadbuiltme
fromthegroundupandnowI’dleaveitbehind.InsteadofdancingaroundinjoyIfeltsadandanxiousin
leaving.BecauseIknewIwouldmissitall.Stayingherewasoutofthequestion.Iwantedmoreandhadto
gogetit.

KnowingIcouldalwayscomehomeagainwaswhateasedmyacheandgavemethecouragetodothis

fromthestart.Iwasn’trunningaway.Iwasonlygoingforward.Toalifethatwasworthwritingaboutand
maybeI’ddothattoo.Writeaboutthis.Documentmyjourney.Shareitonedaywithmykids.I’dmakea
markonthisworldandinreturn,thisworldwouldmarkmetoo.I’dclutchonwithbothhandsandenjoy
therideandseewhathappenedintime.Daddyalwayssaiditwasn’tthedestination,butthejourney,that’s
whatmattered.Myjourneywasabouttobegin.Orhaditbegunalready?

C

HAPTER

E

IGHTEEN

WHENIFIRSTtoldmysisterstheywereallgiddywithexcitementandhopesforavisit.Oncepacking
beganthingschanged.ItwasBessywhocrackedfirst.ShewalkedintothebedroomwhereIwasputtingmy
clothesintotheonlysuitcaseweowned.Mommahadbeengiventhesuitcaseasaweddinggiftfromher
mother.Wehaven’thadareasontouseitsincemymotherwasmarried.Seeingitpackedwastoomuchon
Bessyandhertearsweren’tquietones.Withinsecondsshewassobbingloudly,inaheaponthefloorin
hysterics.IstoppedandwenttositbesideBessy,pullingherintomyarms.

“Ica-ca-can’timagine,”shesaidwithasob,“lifewithoutyouhere.”Honestly,neithercouldI.
“Iwon’tbegoneforever.I’llcomevisitandbringpresentsfromNewYork.Iwillcalleveryweekand

youcancallme.JustthinkofthestoriesandadventuresI’llgettotellyouabout.”

Sheclungtomeandcontinuedtocry.AllIcoulddowasholdher.EventuallyHenrywalkedintothe

room followed by Hazel and when Hazel saw us tears welled up in her eyes. She knew why Bessy was
crying,evenifHenrywasconfused.Theideaofmemovingwassoforeigntohimhewasn’tsurewhatto
think.

“I’llcomehomefortheholidayswithpresentsandwewilltalkaboutallI’vemissed.Maybeoneday

you can come visit me. I’ll save up so you can.” I tried those encouraging words, though nothing eased
thementirely.WhilewesatpiledinthefloorasafamilyIletthemcryitout.

Henrycametositinmylapandlaidhisheadonmychest.Iwasn’tsurehowlongwesatthere.Idid

notrushtheirsadness.Whenthetearsdriedwewaitedinthesilence.Iwouldmissthem.Thatwasfelt.I’d
holdontothismomentforever.Notbecauseofsadness,butbecausewewerefamilyandthatbondisnever
severed,evenifwewishedittobe.

Jamie’stearshadn’tbeenmuchbetter.ShewasemotionalandpregnantsoIspenttwohoursconsoling

herlikeamother.IfIeverwonderedhowmuchthesepeoplelovedme,Idefinitelyknewitnow.Tome,
thatmeanttheworld.

ItwasSundaymorningwhenIgotthecallfromHale’spersonalassistant.Felicitywashername.She

wasemailingmemyflightinformationandthelistoftraveldetails.IwastoflyoutofNashvilleateighton
Monday,themovehappeningrapidlyasmyquestionsincreasedbythesecondandbytheminute.

Felicityassuredmethatalloftheanswerswerecontainedwithinmyemail.IexplainedIdidn’thave

an email account and she asked if I had any access. I told her I did because Jamie had a laptop with an
Internetconnection.Shethengavemeawebsite,loginnameandapasswordallmyown.Iapparentlyhad
onenow.

AftergettingmyinformationprintedoffatJamie’sItookittomommaforperusing.Shereaditand

said we would leave the house at four the next morning and that I needed to be packed and have my
driver’slicensewithme.

Sleepdidn’tcomeeasily.Iwastoonervousandanxious.IkeptreadingoverthedetailsFelicityhad

sent me in the email. I would be here and then I’d be there. Things changing rather quickly, which is
exactlyasIwished,thoughstill,thiswashard.Hereweretheparticularsasfollows:

8:00am
NashvilletoAtlanta
NashvilleIntl.(BNA)toHartsfield-JacksonAtlantaIntl.(ATL)
Delta496
Seat3A
BOEING(DOUGLAS)MD-88
Layover
1h58mstopAtlanta(ATL)
12:10p
AtlantatoNewYork
Hartsfield-JacksonAtlantaIntl.(ATL)toJohnF.KennedyIntl.(JFK)
Delta1415
Seat4D

ArrivalatJFK:
Uponarrivalyouwillproceedtobaggageclaim.Yourdriverwillbewaitingwithasignthathasyourname
on it. He will get your luggage and take you to the penthouse. Once there the details of your job and
instructionswillbeonthekitchencounter.Thekey,creditcard,andkeylessentrycodewillalsobewaiting
onyou.Onceyouhavegoneovereverythingsignthecontractandfaxittomefromthefaxmachineinthe
officedownthehalltoyourleft.Mynumberwillbelistedifyouhaveanyquestions.

Safetravels,
Felicity

I read over it a million times to be sure I wasn’t missing something. The fear that I would do the

wrongthingandendupsomewherelostwasrealandapparenttome.Ihadneverbeenonaplane.Ihad
barelybeenoutofMoulton.

FinallyIfoldedthepaperandtuckeditbackinmypurse.ThenIrolledovertolookatHazelwhowas

soundasleepbesideme.Shewouldgrowsomuchthisyear.Shewasalreadybeautiful,butthisyear,Hazel
wouldreallyblossom.Ifeltatouchofsadnessovermissingthat,butyes,Iwouldmissit.

Leavinghadalwaysbeenmydream.NowhoursbeforeIactuallyleftIwastornbetweenwantingto

holdontohereandgoingtochasemynewlife.Iwantedboth,butcouldn’tlivetwo.Ihadtochooseand
I’dchosen.

ClosingmyeyesIletmyselfdreamofhowNewYorkCitywouldlookandtheplacesIwouldexplore.

The new friends I would find and the future I wanted were right there for the taking. Leaving my past
behindwasn’tapermanentthing.IcouldalwayscomevisitIthought.

Tomorrow,Iwouldfinallygrowup.

C

HAPTER

N

INETEEN

MOMMAHADN’TCRIED.ThatwastheonethingIwasmostthankfulfortoday.Afterverylittlesleep
ifshehadcrieditwouldhavebeensomuchworse.Iwasonthevergeoftearsleavingmyroombehind.All
mysistersweresleepingasIeasedoutwithmysuitcase.Ihadn’twantedtowakethemforfearofbecoming
emotionalandagain,thepileofuscrying.Yet,Iwantedtohugthemallonelasttime.

Henry,ontheotherhand,sleepslikearocksoIwasabletogokisshislittleheadandwhisperIlove

you to him before leaving. He didn’t stir once. The sound of the screen door closing behind me as we
steppedoutsidewassad.IknewIwouldn’thearitagain,atleastforawhileanyway.

Therestofmydayhadtakenmycompleteconcentrationinordernottomissmyconnectingflight.

ForsomeonewhohadneverflownbeforetheAtlantaairportwasconfusing.Istoppedtoaskforhelpthree
timesbeforeIfiguredoutthatIneededtogetonthisindoortrainthingandgofromletterAtoletterC.
Thenlookforgate19.

IwasfedonmyflightfromAtlantatoNewYorkandevengivenarealclothnapkinformylap.The

glasswithmysodainitwasreal,notplastic,likeIhadimagined.WhenIwenttotherestroomIrealized
therewasacurtainseparatingmysmallsectionoftheplanewiththerestofthepassengers.Lookingaround
atthesuitsandlaptopssurroundingmeIrealizedthiswasn’tthenormalpartoftheplane.Halehadputme
inaspecialsection.

Myfloweredsundressandsandals,whichfeltprettyyesterdayasIspenthoursdecidingwhattowear,

nowfeltasiftheywereboughtfromathriftstore.Theyhadn’tbeen.Iboughtthemonsaleatthelocal
departmentstorelastyearandwas,asrecentlyasbeforeIboardedthisplane,quiteproudofthem.

BythetimeIarrivedatJFKairportIwasmentallyexhaustedfromthinkingtoomuch.Ifeltaloneand

scared.However,whilesteppingofftheplaneandmakingmywaytothebaggageclaimbyfollowingthe
signs,excitementbegantogrowwitheachsecond.Iwasdoingit.IwasinNewYork.

Tonight,atthisverymoment,Iwould’vebeeninMoultonlisteningtothesamegossipIalwaysheard.

I wouldn’t be getting up in the morning and going to the bakery. No more canning this summer. No
trippingtothelakewiththepeoplefrommychildhoodwhohadknownmesinceIcouldremember.That
wasfinished.Iwashere.Itwashappening.

Mylifewasgoingtobeinfullcolor.ChangewashappeningnowandIwaspresentforthechange.
Amanholdingasignwithmynameonit,likeFelicitysaidhewouldbe,waswaitingonmenearthe

baggage.Hewasinablacksuitandtie,hisheadbaldandhestoodamongstaseaofmendressedthesame

wayasIenteredthebaggageclaimarea.Herdirectionshadbeeneasytofollow.Iwasthankfulforthepaper
inmypurse.Appreciativeofherinstructions.Theirstep-by-stepdelivery.

Iwalkeduptothemanandsmiled.“I’mSamKnox,”Itoldhim.Thefactmysignhadn’tsaidSammy

Jodidn’tsurpriseme.Haledidn’tcallmethat.Oratleasthehadstopped.Hepreferredtoshortenit.

Theoldermansmiled.“WelcometoNewYork,”hereplied,placingthesignunderhisarm.“Let’sget

yourluggageshallwe.”

Ifollowedhimuntilhestoppedatacarouselwithluggagemovingonit.Wepassedthreebeforehe

halted.Iwastryingtofigureouthowheknewwhichonemyluggagewouldarriveon.TheonethingIwas
surehedidn’tknowwaswhichpieceofluggagewasmine.SoIturnedmyattentiontothemovingbags
untilIspottedmypiece.“There’smine,”Isaid,steppinguptogetit.

“I’llgetthatmiss,”hereplied,movinginfrontofmeandpickingthebagupashecameby.
Thatwasniceofhim.Mymommawouldapprove.Wemightnotbeinthesouth,butsofarIdidn’t

seeadifferenceinthepeoplehere.Theywereallveryhelpfulandnice.

“Thankyou,”Itoldhim.
Hesmiled.“Ofcourse.Followme.”
HecarriedmysuitcasetowardtheexitdoorsandIdidashesaid.Theairwaswarm.Itwassummer,

butbeingfromthesouthIassumeditnevergotthishotupnorth.IrealizedIwasincorrect.Thesunwas
beamingdownandIwasthankfulformysundress.Wedidn’twalkfarbeforehestoppedbesideablack
sedanthatwassleekandexpensivelooking.Iwatchedasheopenedthebackdoorandwavedhishandatme
withasmile.“Pleasemakeyourselfcomfortable.Thewaterinthecupholderischilledandthemintsare
alsoforyourenjoyment.”

I felt like I was on the plane again. Being catered to. This was not something I was accustomed to

hearingorreceivingexceptindreamsorhallucinations,afterdrinkingtoomuchpunch.AndsinceIwas
beinghiredasahousekeeperitseemedoddIwouldbetravelingthisway.

“Thankyou,”Ipaused,realizingIdidn’tevenknowhisname.“I’msorry,Idon’tbelieveIgotyour

name.”

Helookedlikehemightchuckle,butinsteadhereplied“Williams.Miss,youcancallmeWilliams.”
Thatwasanoddfirstname.Ithenreturnedhissmile.“ThankyouWilliams.You’vemademyarrival

hereveryeasyandwelcoming.”

“Mypleasure,miss.”
IlikedWilliams.HewoulddowellinMoulton.Notthathe’deverwanttoleavetheexcitementof

NewYorkforMoulton,butstill,Icouldseehimthere.Hewasahelpful,niceandconsideratemanandI
didn’tatallfeellikethebigcitywouldmurderorrapeme,whichalotofsmalltownpeopleoftendo.

Iclimbedinsideandpickedupthewaterbottlethatwasshapedinanoddsquare.Theicecoldplastic

feltgoodafterawalkintheheatandIopeneditandtookalongdrink.Ididn’treachforamint,instead
watchingoutthewindowasWilliamsgotintothedriver’sseatandwebegantomove.Theairportparking
lot was new and amazing with hundreds of people bustling about and I wondered if anyone famous was
closewithoutmenoticing.

“It’sathirtyminutedriveinthetraffic.Thistimeofthedayitis.I’llhaveyoutothepenthouseas

soonasIcanandIapologizeforthedelay.”

“Okay,”Ireplied.“Lordy,you’reprecious.Iain’tspecialintheleast.”Iwashappytobeabletojustsit

backandtakeitalliningulps.Thestreetswerewhatyou’dexpect,busyandpulsingwithlife.Itwasalmost
fifteen minutes before we went through a tunnel, emerging into what I imagined New York City would
looklike.

Wewereactuallyhere.Thiswasit.Ihadarrived.
Myfingersknottedintofistsandthegrinonmyfacespreadwidefromcheektocheek.Moultonwas

behindmeandthisnewworldwasbuildingitselfaroundme.Icouldn’twaittoexploreit.

C

HAPTER

T

WENTY

THEBUILDINGWAShistoricalandthecurveofitsfrontcametoapointatthestreet.Morelikepoints,
itwasamazing.Istoodoutsideit,takingintheswarmsofpeoplearoundmeinmovement,gazingupatthe
place that would be my home and I couldn’t see the roof in the least. I’d always been able to see it. In
Moultononesawroofs.

“Mr.Jude’spenthouseislocatedatthetopinthecurve.You’lllikethat,”Williamssaidashewalkedup

behindmecarryingmyluggage.“Comewithme.”

Itoremyeyesfromthestructureandlikeachildhurriedbehindhiminside.Williamshadtopunchin

acodetogetusfurtherthanthat.AmaninasuitwasstandingatthedoorandWilliamsintroducedme:
“thisisMissSamanthaKnox.ShewillbelivinginMr.Jude’spenthouse.”Themannoddedandstepped
backforustogoforward.OncewegottothebankofelevatorsIwasthankfulthatWilliamswasn’tleaving.
Icouldn’tfigurethisoutalone.Myhandswereshaking,fromexcitementorfear,whichoneIwasn’tsure.
Theunknownwasallaroundme.

Westoppedontheeleventhfloorandthedoorsopened.Alonghallwayledtoasetofdoubledoors

andWilliamslookedtome.“Youshouldhavethecodetothekeylessentryinyourinstructionsmiss.”

Oh.YesIdid.
QuicklyIgotoutthepaperthatJamiehadprintedformeandscannedtothebottom.Thenumbers

382650werewaitingthereforme.Ilocatedandlookedatthedoor’skeypadandthenIaskedWilliam’sa
question.

“Ijustputthisnumberinhere?”
“Yesmiss,”washisresponse.
SoIdid.Puncheditcarefully.
Like magic the lock slid away with a click and I opened the door for the first time. The view was

instantaneous. Forgetting to walk inside I stood there and took it all in. What I could see from the
doorway.TheentrywayalonewasbiggerthanmyhouseinMoulton,maybedouble.

“Wouldyouliketogoin?”Williamsaskedme.
Isnappedoutofmydazeandsteppedinsidesohecouldfollowandsetmybagdown.
“ThisiswhereIleaveyoumam.IfyouhaveanyquestionsjustcallFelicity.She’sarealproatherjob.”
I wanted to ask William’s to stay. He was the only person I knew in this city of over eight million

people,notcountingtouristsandwhatnot,thoughIcouldn’trestrainthedriver.Hehadajob,otherpeople
topickup.

“ThankyousomuchWilliams.You’vebeengreat.”
Henodded,turnedandleftme.Closingthedoubledoorsbehindhim.Imovedtolockthem,butthe

slideonitsown,madeitsfamiliarclick.Irealizeditdidthatinternally.

TurningbacktomynewhomeIbegantosmile,thenlaugheduntilIcried.Thiswasreal,Iwashere,

experiencing this and it had all happened in a week. I left my suitcase where Williams had placed it and
walkedovertothefull-lengthwindows.Floortoceiling,afirstforme.Theylinedwhatlookedlikealiving
roomareaandItellyoutheviewwasamazing.Iwantedtosleeprighthere.Wakeuptothisviewevery
morning.

Ifmysisterscouldseethistheywouldpassout.Bessywouldlosehermind.IfIhadacameraIwould

takephotosandsendthemhomeeveryweek.ButthatwassomethingIneversavedupfor.Iguesstheycost
lotsofdollars.

Therewasalistonthecounterinthekitchenforme.Imademywaythroughintothenextroomand

foundanallwhitekitchen,withequallybeautifulviews.Theonlycolorinthekitchenwastheblackmarble
countersandtheamberlightfixturesontheceiling.Therewasafresharrangementofflowerssittinginthe
middleoftheisland.Besideitwasasheetofpaper.Iwalkedoverandpickeditup,findingwhatFelicityhad
promised.EverythingIneededtoknow.Besideitwasanenvelope.IfoundablackAmericanExpresscard
with my name embossed across it. There was a stack of one hundred dollar bills that weren’t Monopoly
money.Idroppedbothofthemdirectlybackontothecounterliketheywereonfireorsomething.ThenI
wentbacktomynote.Surelytherewasanexplanation.

IknewI’dhaveacard,butmynamewasonthisone,andthecashwaswithoutreason.Iquicklyread

herletter,lookinguponlybriefly,toseewhatshewastalkingabout.Iglancedtowardthewhiteswinging
doorthatledtoanothersection.Ifiguredthefirstdoorontherightwasmeanttobemyroom.

Themoneywasmine.Myfirstweekspay.Ipickeditupandcountedthehundreddollarbillsbecause

themanwaspayingmeincash.Ifoundthatodd,butIdidn’targue.IassumedIwouldberesponsiblefor
my taxes. Since he wasn’t cutting them out. I’d need to ask Felicity about that. I had no idea how that
worked.

Thecardwasfortheneedsofthepenthouse.Itwasinmynametomakeiteasierformetouseinthe

stores. They could also keep a better record on what I spent for the place. That made sense to me. I
wouldn’tgoonanywildsprees.Didn’twanttopartydowninthepenthouse.

OnceIwassureIkneweverythingIshoulddotoday,Islowlywalkedtowardsthedoor,toenterthe

roomthatwasmine.

“Holy,motherofpearl!”
Again, it was all white. With the exception of a tan chair and ottoman sleekly sitting in the corner.

Some paintings with a charcoal grey were hanging perfectly centered on the wall. The blanket on the
cornerofthebedwasthesamecolorasthepaintings.Otherthanthatitwasallverywhite,theviewsfrom
thethreewindowsoverlookingthebusycity.ThiswasadifferentsideofthebuildingfromtheoneIhad
previouslyviewed.Istoodtakingineverythingbelowme,asifthatworldcouldn’ttouchme.

Thenotesaidtherewasagrocerystoretwoblockswestofhere.Iwouldgoandfindthatnext.Felicity

hadlistedafewlocaldeli’sandbakery’sshethoughtI’denjoy.Iappreciatedherhelp.

Therewasalsoalibraryinthisverybuildingandaspafortenantsandguests.Iwantedtogofindthem

both.Theyhadabasketballcourt,ofwhichIhadnointerest,thoughitwasnicetoknowtheyhadone.I
headedbackdownthehalltotheentryontothebalcony.Felicitysaidtherewereplantstowateroutsidethe
penthouse.

AsIsteppedintotheopenitwasn’tlikethebalconyofapenthouseinNewYorkCity.Itwassimilar

to an English garden. There were plants and flowers everywhere. Lounging furniture that looked so
comfortableonecouldsleeponitlikeabed.Theonlywayyouwouldknowitwasn’tagardenwastowalk
overtotheedgeandlookattheviewbelowyou.Itwaslikehavingthebestofbothworlds.Ididn’tknow
whyHalewouldeverleave,foritwasallI’ddreamedabout.

C

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NE

FINDING THE GROCERY store had been a little difficult simply because it didn’t look like what I
imagined.ItwasastorefrontandthefoodselectionwasnothinglikethePigglyWigglywehadbackhome.
ButeventuallyIfounditandstockedthekitchenwithfoodIwantedalongwiththefoodonFelicity’slist.

Afterputtingthingsawayandfindingtherewasnothingformetocleanasofyet,Ipouredmyselfa

glassofsweetteaandwentoutonthebalconytowatchthecityandrelax.Believingthistoberealwashard.
Iwantedtoshareitwithsomeone,thoughthatwasthedrawbackhere.Iwasaloneandpersonallysharing,
wouldbewithmyselffornow.

Sleepcameeasyanddeep.MylackofrestfromthenightbeforecaughtupwithmeandIfellasleep

quickly.Sunlightstreaminginthewindowthenextmorningwokeme.That,andthesoundofthecity.So
differentthanthesilenceofthecountrylifeIhadgrownaccustomedtohearing.Orrather,nothearingat
all.

IwonderedifIwouldbeabletosleepaseasilywiththenoisetonight.WhenIwasn’texhaustedfrom

travel.Stretching,Igotup,mademybedandwenttothekitchen,tomakemyselfsomebreakfast.

Then, what would I do? I had nothing to clean and no further instructions from Felicity on the

matter.Iwasinthisbigcitywithnoone.WiththechanceI’dbeenhopingfor.Ididn’tneedsomeoneelse
toexplore.Icoulddothatonmyown.Besides,Ihadmoney.Icouldvisitmuseums,takeacabtoCentral
ParkandthengoandseeTimesSquare.

Excited about seeing things I’d only seen on television, I quickly ate the cereal I bought yesterday,

thenwenttogetdressedformyouting.EventuallyIwouldhaverealworktodo.WhenHalecameinto
townandhadgueststoentertain.FornowIcouldenjoythelifeI’dbeenoffered.TonightI’dcallmomma,
my sisters and Henry and tell them all about my day. Everything I saw and the people I met. I knew
mommawouldwanttohearfromme,tomakesurethatIarrivedsafely.Shedidn’tseemcrushedwhenI
lefther,butIknewthereasonforthat.Ithinkmymotherwantsmoreforme.Morethanthehandshe’d
beendealt.

Iwasalmostdressedtoleavewhenthephonebegantoring.Iturnedandsearchedforthesoundand

eventuallyfounditinthefoyer.Itwasn’taregularphone.Itwasafancytouchscreendevice.Thanksto
JamieIknewhowthisworkedandquicklyansweredthecall.Thename“Felicity”wasonthescreensoI
knewwhowasgoingtospeak.

“Hello,”Isaidquickly,somewhatafraidthatitrangtoomanytimes.
“Good, you’ve found the phone. I forgot to leave instructions about it, seeing as it was a hurried

additionandMr.Judeforgottomentionit.Thephonehasmynumber,Mr.Jude’snumber,yourhome
numberandafewnumbersforfooddeliveryavailableinthatareathatarehighlyrecommended.Feelfree
toaddwhomeverelseyouwant.Mr.Judewillarrivetomorrowatnoon.Besuretohavethefoodsfromhis
listandfreshenupandpreparehisroomasdescribedonthenotesIleftyou.Hewillbealonethistimeso
thereisnoneedtobecomeinvisible.Doyouhaveanyquestions?”

“Uh,no,Iunderstand.”
“Good,callifyouneedanything.GoodbyeSamantha,”shesaid,thenabruptlyendedthecall.
Samantha? Did she think that was what Sam was short for? Frowning, I set the phone down and

quicklypickeditbackupandslippeditintothepocketofmyjeanshorts.Incaseshecalledback.

Sightseeing wasn’t happening today. I headed to the kitchen to go over the instructions for Hale’s

arrival. I hadn’t expected him so soon. I was happy he was coming and that I wouldn’t be alone. There
wouldbesomeoneinthiscitythatIknew.

TheideaofhavingdrinksandwatchingthecityskywithHalemademesmile.Ishouldn’tthinkabout

himotherthanasmyboss.Butthemanwasfascinating.AndIhadsomanyquestionsIwantedtoaskhim.
Aboutthecityandtheworldingeneral.

Icouldcallmommalater.Onmynewcellularphone.AjobperkIhadn’texpected.ThismeantIhad

acameranow.WhenIdidgettotakethatsightseeingoutingIcouldsnapphotoslikealunatic.

AmusicalsoundstartledmeandIstoodtherelookingaroundtheroom.Ittookamomentformeto

figureoutitwasadoorbell.Wedidn’thaveadoorbellathome.Muchlessonethatplayedaclassicaltune.I
couldn’timaginewhocouldbehere.ButIwenttothedooranyway.

Themanstandingontheothersidewaswhatonemightcallsexy.Oralluring,thingslikethat.There

were no other words for him. He wasn’t polished and expensive like Hale. He was, ahh, an anti-Hale.
Gorgeouswithdarkhairandbigblueeyes,histornjeanswornatthebends.Thebootshehadonwerefor
actuallaborandthatbodyofhishadworked.

“IsHalein?”heasked,studyingmeascloselyasIwasstudyinghim.
“No,”Isaid,feelingmycheeksheatandreddenfromlookingathim.Ireallylikedhisboots.Andthe

tightblackteeshirthewaswearing.“Hearrivestomorrow.”

Themanseemedannoyedbythisanswer.“Andyouare?”
“SammyJoKnox,thenewhousekeeper,”Ireplied.Ifelttheneedtodefendmypresence.Thiswasn’t

Moulton,Alabama.

Hebegantotwisthismouth,asmirkthentouchinghislips.“Sureyouare.Thebastard,”hemuttered

underhisbreath.

I didn’t know what that meant exactly. I was deciding that Mr. Cowboy Texas, straight out of a

romancenovel,wassomeoneIdidn’tlike.

“CanIhelpyou?”IaskedinthecoolestbusinesstoneIcouldmuster.Iwasn’trealbigonsounding

professional.

“Probablynotsugar.Probablynot.”
Well,finethen.“Halewillbeheretomorrowatnoonifyou’dliketoreturnthen.”Ihadtheurgeto

slamthedoorinhisfacebutseeingasthiscouldbeafriendorbusinessrelationofHale’sIdidn’tdoitthat
instant.

“TellhimEzrastoppedby.Weneedtotalk.”
Ezra. What an odd name for a cowboy. Unless he jumped out of birthday cakes, dancing around

nakedandwhatnot.

“Okay.”
Heturnedtoleave,thenglancedback.“Becarefulsugar.Ain’tmuchhereforyou.Don’teverletyour

guarddown.Here’snotwhatyou’reusedto.”

I didn’t respond to that. I firmly closed the door. Then I stuck out my tongue and growled in

frustration.He’dsaid“ain’t”and“sugar.”HemightaswellbefromAlabama.Surewasn’tfromhereIcan
tellyou.Theasshole.JudgingmebecauseofthewayItalkedorlooked.Ididn’tneedhisadviceoropinion.

IfIwereluckyI’dneverlayeyesonEzraagaininthiscity.Oranyotherplaceonearth.

C

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WO

ONCEISTARTEDcleaningandstraighteningforHale’sarrivalIbegantofindmorethingstodo.Iput
freshsheetsonhisbedandfluffedthethickluxurioustowelsinhisbathroom.Iwentandboughtflowers
fromthestreetvenderI’dpassedyesterdayandputthemintheemptyvasebyhisbed.Iwantedtobegood
atthis.

He was giving me a chance to live and I didn’t want to give him something to complain about. I

boughteverythingonhislistandusedthedeliverynumberforthewineherequested.Felicitysaidtheyhad
hisinformationonfileandwouldn’tcardme.They’djustleaveitdownstairsatreceptionandIcouldpick
itupthere.

Imadesureallthewineglasseswereclearofspotsfromthedishwasherandthenwentaboutdusting,

althoughtherewasn’tanydust.ThenIwateredtheplantsoutside.InafewIputicecubesinstead.Iwasn’t
surewhatthatwasallabout,butIdidasIwasinstructed.

ThedaywentbyquicklyandIhadnomorecallsorvisitorsstoppingby.Iwasgladforthat.Iwas

finishingupdinnerwhenIdecideditwasagoodtimetocallhomeandspeakwithmomma.Asmuchas
being here and walking outside were exciting, I still missed home. I wouldn’t go back but they were my
people,beforeheretheonlylifeIknew.

AfterthedeliveryofthewineIrackedit,thentookmynewphoneandcalled.
AtthesoundofBessy’svoicesaying“hello”tearsstungmyeyes.
“It’smeBessy,”Isaid,smilingasIsatdownonthesofa.
“SammyJo?”sheasked,withexcitementinhervoice.
“Yes,Ihaveanewphonenumbersoy’allcangetintouchwithme.Howarethingsathome?”
“Thesame.HowarethingsinNewYork!”
“Definitelynotthesame.I’vebeenworkingsinceIgotheresoIhaven’tseenmuch,buttheviewfrom

the balcony is amazing. It’s just like what you’ve seen on the television set and in the movies, all of the
movies.IfeellikeI’minonewalkingthesestreets.Ihadtogotothegroceryandshop.Thatwasitsown
adventure.”

“Iwishyoucouldsendpictures,”shesaid.
“Ican!Soon.Mynewworkphoneisoneofthosesmartphoneswithacamera.”
“Ohwow,wowSammyJo.You’relivingthelifeIbet.”
“IwanttotalktoSammyJo,”Hazelsaidfromthebackground.
“Givemethephone,”Mommathenadded.

“We’lltalksoon!Here’smomma.”
“Bye,”Isaidtoher.Hearinghervoicehadbeengood.JustwhatIneededtocalmme.
“It’sabouttimeyoucalled,”mommasaid.“YouarrivedsafelyItakeit?”
“Yes ma’am. It was an easy flight.” I assured her instead of telling her how complicated finding the

gateswereattheairport.

“Andhow’sthisplaceyou’reliving?Safe?”
“SaferthanMoulton.Youhavetohaveacodetogetinthedoorsdownstairs.There’salsoasecurity

guard.Ifhedoesn’tknowyouthenyoudon’tmakeittotheelevators.”

“Good,good,andtheneighborhood?”
“It’snice.Big.Butthepeopleherearenice.NothingscarywhenIgoout.Ihadtogotothegrocery

andshop.ItwascloseandIwasmoreamazedbythewalk,thananythingelseinthestore.”

Mommasighedanditwasrelief.
“Metanyofyourneighbors?”
Iwasn’tsureifEzrawasaneighborornot.Butevenifhewastherewasnothingtotalkabout.Ididn’t

carefortheman.

“No, but I’ve been working on the list of things left here for me to do. You wouldn’t believe the

gardenonthebalconyoutside.Ihavetowatertheplantsdaily.”

IwasgoingtotellherthatHalewascomingtomorrowbutsomethingstoppedme.Ididn’tthinkshe’d

beokaywiththat.Shewouldreadmoreintoitthanthereactuallywas.

“Well,alrightthen.It’sgoodtohearyourvoice.Hazelwantstotalkatyou.GivemethatnumberI

canreachyouatbeforeIcutyouloose.”

IfoundthepaperwhereI’dwrittenitdownandslowlyrepeatedthedigits.
“Loveyou,girl,”mommasaid,beforehandingthephonetoHazel.
“Loveyoutoomomma,”Ireplied.
“SammyJo!What’sitlikethere?Haveyouseenmoviestars?”Hazelaskedalmostimmediately.
LaughingIleanedbackonthesofa.ShefiredonequestionafteranotherandItriedtoanswerthem

all.Leavingherinbedhadbeenhard.I’dwantedtowakeherandtellhergoodbyeandthatIlovedher
thenandforever.HearinghervoicenowwasjustwhatIneededtosootheme.

“ItalktoSammyJo,”Henrykeptdemandinginthebackground.Icouldseethemsittingaroundin

thekitchenwhilemommamadedinnerforthebunch.Everyonewastalkingandworking.Millywouldn’t
behomeyet.They’deatdinnerthencleanuptogetherwhilemommagaveHenryhisbath,beforeputting
himtobedwithastory.Aftertheyallhadtheirbathsthey’dsitontheirbedsandtalkabouttheday,Milly’s
date,whoshesawatthesalon,andwhowasdatingornot.

As if Hazel could read my mind she said, “Jamie called today for your mailing address. They’re

sendingoutweddinginvitations.Shesaidsheknewyoucouldn’tmakeitback,butshewantedyoutohave
aninvitation.”

“Thankyou.I’llcallJamieandchatwithhertonight.”
“Can’t believe she’s getting married so young. I’m not doing that. I’m gonna travel the world like

you.”

Of all my sisters I believed Hazel would. The others would stay in Moulton, their entire lives lived

there.ButHazel,she’descape.Becauseshewantedtoleavesobadly.

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HREE

ALTHOUGHISLEPTwellenoughthroughthenightwiththenoiseoutside,myeyesopenedearly.Iwas
nervousaboutHale’sarrival.Ididn’twanttomessanythingup.Hehadn’tcalledortextedandneitherhad
Felicitytogivemeanynewdetails.Ishoweredanddressedthenwalkedaroundlookingforthingstoclean.

Walkinginfromthebalconytherewasaclickatthedoor.Icouldhearmorethanoneman’svoice

andIrealizedHalewasn’talone.DidIhideifhewaswithsomeoneordoIofferthemdrinks?Dangit,
Felicityhadn’ttoldmewhattodointhissituation.

ThedoorswungopenandHaleenteredfollowedbyEzra.Great.JustthemanIwantedtoseeagain.

No.Not.Ever.

“Comeinandhavesomelunch.Wecandiscussyourissueswiththedealoveraglassofwine.Ineeda

breakafterthatearlymorningflight.Idon’twanttodealwiththisassoonasIarrive.”HalespoketoEzra
as if they were old friends. His gaze then swung to me as he surveyed how I was dressed. His look of
displeasuretoldmeIhaddonesomethingwrong.

“Hello,Samantha.You’vealreadymetEzra.He’llbejoiningmeforlunch.”
Twothingsaboutthat:hecalledmeSamanthaknowingmynamewasSammyJo.Thenhespoketo

measifIknewwhattheywerehavingforlunch.TherewassomethingonthelistfromFelicityaboutthis.I
neededtoruntothekitchenandcheckthat.

“Okay.Doyouneedanythingatthemoment?Ordoyouwantmetogogetlunchready?”
HemotionedforEzratogoouttothebalcony.“BringusbothaglassoftheSassicaia.Thenyoucan

startonlunch,”heinformedme.

Irecognizedthenameandknewhewasspeakingaboutthewine.TheproblemwasI’dneveropeneda

bottlebefore.Iwasn’tsurehow.Theseweren’tscrewtopbottles.

“IneedtochecksomethingEzra.I’llmeetyououtside,”hesaid,turningandheadingforthekitchen.
Iquicklyfollowed,gladthatweweregoingtobeoutofearshotfromEzra.Ididn’tneedhimtohear

thatIcouldn’topenawinebottle.

Halewalkedovertothewinerackandwithdrewabottleofthewinehehadmentioned.“Fromthe

lookonyourfaceyouhavenoideahowtoopenabottleofwine.I’mgoingtoshowyouandIwantyouto
watchcarefully.You’llneedtobeabletodothis.”

Inodded.“Ofcourse.”
Heopenedadrawerandpulledoutalargeblackandmetalcontraption.Iwatchedashealignedthe

pointytipofthescrewoverthecorkthenturnedthetoptotwistitin.Lastly,hepushedthetwosidesdown
thathadrisenlikewingsandthecorkcameoutwithaneasypop.

Iwantedtosighinrelief.Ithoughtitwasgoingtobemuchharderthanthat.“Okay,Icandothat,”I

assuredhim.

Hesatthecontraptiondownthenlookedatme.“Youshould’veshoppedforclothingyesterday.Your

clothesarenotgoingtobeacceptable.”

Ihadn’tknownaboutclothing.Wasthatwhyhepaidmeearly?Tobuynewclothes?
“I’msorry.Iwasn’tawareIwassupposedtousethemoneyleftforclothing.”
Halefrowned.“Felicitydidn’texplainthat?”
IlikedFelicity.Shewasverygoodatherjobsotellinghim“no,shehadn’t,”feltlikerattingherout.

“I’m,uh,sureshedidandImisseditsomewhere.”

“Usethecard.I’llleavealistofstoresforyoutoshopattobuyanewwardrobe.Theclothingyou

broughtdoesn’tneedtoleaveyoursuitcase.Myworldexpectsdifferent.Understand?”

InoddedbecauseIwasbeginningtounderstand.Hehadchangedmynameandnowhewaschanging

myclothing.Butthen,Ithought,IamhisemployeeandIneedtolookacertainway.Ishouldacceptthat
andnotgetsoannoyed.

Thewords“yessir”almostcameoutofmymouth.
“Good,”thenhisfacesoftenedandhesmiled.ThatsexysweetsmilethatIrememberedfromthedays

heboughtmecupcakes.Hewalkedovertomeandhishandcuppedmycheek.ItseemedintimateandI
froze,startledbythetouch.

“IlikehavingyouherewhenIarrive.Imissedyou,”hesaid,withatendernesshehadn’tusedwithme

before.

MystomachflutteredandIwasn’tsurehowtorespond.
“Ezrawillbehereforafewhours.Less,ifI’mlucky.We’llgoshoppingtogetherifyou’dlike.”
The idea of shopping with Hale frightened me. I wasn’t going to know what kind of clothing he

expectedmetobuyandthepressureofhavinghimwatchandstudymedidn’tsoundfunatall.

“Youwearyourthoughtssoclearlyinthoseeyes,”hechuckled.“It’sokaySam.I’llhelpyoushop.”
Isimplynodded.Hishandfellawayandmyfacestillheldthewarmthofhistouch.“I’lltakethewine

out. You can go ahead and start on lunch. If I were alone I’d have you join me, but Ezra is a business
partnerandI’llneedsomeprivacy.”

Ifrowned.Whatkindofbusinesspartnercouldhebe?“Hedoesn’tlooklikeyouoryourworld,”I

saidwithoutthinking.

“He’sfromTexas,”Halereplied,asifthatexplaineditall.
“He’salsorudeandseemsrough.”
Halelaughedasheliftedthetwoglassesofwine.Therewasadripfromthebottleandhispourhad

been off center, though he had found the drop and thumbed it. The kitchen was perfect again. “He is.
That’swhyhe’sgoodathisjob.”

Ididn’tsayanythingelse,watchingasHaleleftthekitchen.
Ihadtofigureoutwhatlunchwas.IknewthelistofgroceriesFelicitysentsaidsomethingaboutmeal

preparation. I knew how to cook just fine, but I was concerned that the fancy food Hale would request

might be difficult to make. Instead of walking around cleaning all morning I should’ve been going over
foodandputtingamenutogether.Lessonlearned.NexttimeI’dknow.

LuckilytherewasalunchexampleFelicitysenttopreparemeincaseofanemergency.Freshcrabwith

anAsiansalad,theircostcombinedlikebuyingacalf,butofcoursethiswasNewYorkCity.Ifixedaplate
withbothofthese,addingasideplateofhummuswithpitachipsandamixtureofvegetables.Thiswasone
ofHale’s“gotomeals.”Ifeltsafeservingthemthis.

Shesaidto“takeoutthehummusfirst.”Thiswasanappetizer.
IwishedIdidn’thavetoseeEzra.I’dhavetogetovermyaversiontohim,soonerbetterthanlater.

C

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OUR

HALEANDEZRApausedtheirconversationeverytimeIdeliveredsomething.Haleliftedhisemptywine
glass. His way of telling me they needed refills. Momma would’ve slapped his face. Things in this world
weredifferent.Moreformal,andwaylessfriendly.

Fortunately,Haledidn’tlookatmeoddlywhenIservedtheircoursesoffood.IsupposeIwasdoingit

correctly. I had to look at the bright side of this. At least I wasn’t bored. Him being in town gave me
somethingtodo.Andbesidesthatwasmyjob.

Ikeptbusyinthekitchencleaninganddecidingwhatdinnerwouldbe.IwishFelicityhadsentmea

cookbook.Thatwouldhavemadethingseasier.ThestuffIknewhowtocookwasn’tthefoodhewanted.
Smiling,Ithoughtaboutfryingupsomechickenwithapotofmashedpotatoesandmaybesomecollard
greens.Thatwouldbehilarious.

Thekitchendooropenedbehindme.Iputthelastdishawayandspoke:“Iwasabouttocomecheck

andseeifyouneededanythingmore.”ThenIturnedaround.

Itwasn’tHale.ItwasEzra.
“Doyouneedsomething?”Iasked.Itriednottosoundannoyed.
Heseemedamusedbymytone,didalittleheadtilt,hisblueeyesassessingintention.“No,butyou

may,eventually.Callmewhenthatdaycomes.”

Whatintheworld?Istartedtoaskhimwhathemeantwhenheturnedandleftthekitchen.Iheard

himtalkingwithHale,followedbytheirlaughter,thenthedoorclosingbehindhim.Iconsideredtelling
Halewhathe’dsaid,butthendecidedagainstit.Iwasnotherefordrama.WhateverEzrameantbythatwas
obviouslynotimportant.Hehadn’tevenleftmehisnumber.

Iturnedoffthekitchenlightsandwalkedintothelivingroom.Halewasstandingatthewindowwith

an inch of wine staring out at the city. The view was spectacular and I hated to interrupt him. He had
traveledallmorning,wentdirectlytoameetingandhadtobenearlyfrazzled.

“Youdidwell,”hesaid,glancingback.
“Thankyou.”
“Wehavetogetyoubetterclothes.Iwishyou’ddonethatalready.Iexpectedafewissuestosurface.”
Afewissues?HewasactinglikeIwasadisobedientchild.Thatwasunfair,butIkeptmymouthshut,

beingpatientandunderstanding.

“Ezraenjoyedlunch.That’sreallyallthatmatters.”Hisgazetraveledupanddownme.“Isthatthe

bestoutfityoubrought?”Heaskedwiththeslightestofgrimace.

Iremindedmyselfnottotakeoffense.WhichwashardbecauseIhadatemperandmymouthwould

lashlikeawhip.Curbingitwasn’teasy.

“No,Ihaveabluesundressthatmommamademelastyear.”
Hedidaslightliftofhisshoulders.“Ihaveameetingatthree.Wewon’thavetimetoshopforyour

clothing.You’reasizefour,amIright?”

Inoddedyes,surprisedheguessedsoeasily,bysimplylookingatme.
“I’llhavesomeclothessentforyou.Iwon’tbehomefordinnertonight.Ofcourse,feedyourself.But

considertherestofthedayabreak.Tomorrowwe’lldosomething.Whatisityouwanttoseemost?”

Thatwasahardchoice.FifthAvenue,TimesSquareandCentralParkwerealltiedforfirst.Icould

visitthetwothatwouldtakethelongestwhenHalewasgoneonbusiness.Ithenreplied“TimesSquare.”

“Ofcourse.We’llgoseeittomorrow.ThenI’lltakeyoutooneofmyfavoritelunchspots.”
Thatsoundedfun.Iwasreadytoexplorethecity.Havingsomeonewithmewouldbenice.
“Untilyourclothesarrivegochangeintothebluedress.”HesaiditwithawaveofhishandasifIwere

beingdismissed.Hethenturnedhisattentionbacktothecityandtheviewoutsidethewindow.

Haleconfusedme.HecouldbesoniceandmakemefeelwantedthentreatmeasifIwereachild

needinginstructionandguidance.Iwasn’tsurehowtofeelaboutthat,butIremindedmyselfhehadgiven
methisjobandachancetoseetheworld.IwaslivinginapenthouseinNewYorkCity.Thiswasbetter
thanwhatI’dexpected.ThoughIreallydidn’tknowwhatthatwas.IcouldlearntounderstandHale.He
was just different, that’s all. What I knew were the people from Moulton, Alabama and it was me that
neededtoadjust.NotHale.Hewashimself.Iwastheonethatneededtochange.

Iwenttomyroomandundressed.TheblueEastersundressthatmommahadmadehanginginthe

closettomyfront.Islippeditonandstraighteneditout.ItwasthenicestthingIowned,yethereitseemed
inadequate.Country.That’swhatIwas.Country.Ididn’twanttobe.Myplaceofbirthwasn’tmychoice.
Ilongedtobeapartofthiscity,tofitinandnotstandout.

SittingdownontheedgeofthebedIlookedoutthewindowsofmyroom.ImaginedwhatImightbe

likeifI’dgrownupinNewYorkCity.WouldIspeakdifferently?Walkwithmoreconfidence?Wouldmy
vocabulary be more extensive? Would I know the difference between fresh mozzarella and Brie, which
confusedmeatthegrocerystore,justlikethedamnairportgates.

But had I been raised here I wouldn’t have momma, my sisters or Henry or the memories of my

daddy, and Jamie and Ben would be strangers. And I wanted all of them in my life. Being raised in
Moultonwasn’twhatIhated.Itwastheideaofbeingstuckthereforlife.I’dgottenoutandnowIcould
trulyappreciatemyraisingandmynormalchildhood.

A knock at my door startled me awake. Then it opened and Hale walked in. He took in my dress

withoutsmiling.“Yournewclothingwillarrivethisevening.Iknowfemalesliketoshopforthemselvesand
youwillgetachancetodothat.I’llgowithyouwhenyoudo.Butfornowyouneedappropriateclothing.
Ishould’veseentothatmyself.”

Again,withmyclothes.LordJesus!Theyweren’tasbadashewascarryingon.Ibitmytonguetokeep

fromsayingjustthatandmythoughtsmusthaveshownonmyfacebecausehegavemeanapologeticsmile.
“Soonyou’llbereadytogooutwithme.Youcanattenddinners,liketheonetonight,alongsidemewhen

properlydressed.Wehavetopolishyouup.Yourbeautyisenoughtodistractaman,butthewomeninthis
worldcanbebrutal.Theywillpickyouapartandeatyou.”

Gowithhim?Why?AlthoughtheideaofafancypartyinNewYorkwasexcitingIwasn’tsurewhyI

wouldgoalongtoo.

“You want to take me to dinners with you?” I was tired of keeping my mouth shut. Sometimes I

neededanswers.

Hegrinnedandwalkedovertostandinfrontofme.Hisexpensivecolognemademyroomsmellnice

andIwantedtotakeadeepbreath.

“I didn’t bring you here to keep you locked away. I enjoy your company Sam. You make me feel

more like enjoying my life. I often overlook certain things that you remind me of in your excitement.
TakingyouwithmeisthemainreasonIbroughtyouheretothecity.First,Ihavetoprepareyou.You’re
notreadyforthisworldyet.”

Hesoundedlikehehadmehereformorethanahousekeeper.Mendidn’ttaketheirhousekeepersto

parties and teach them to be more refined. Did they? I was pretty sure that even though I didn’t know
muchaboutthislifeIdidknowthat.

“ButHale,I’myourhousekeeper,”Itoldhim.
Hekneltdowninfrontofmeandgatheredmylefthandinbothofhis.“You’reheretotakecareof

thingswhenI’maway.Yes,that’sthetruth.ButsurelyyouknowthatIbroughtyouhereformorethan
tendingthepenthouse.”

Hedid?No,Ididn’tknowthatatall.
“Sam,you’reastunningwoman.ThefirsttimeIsawyouIknewIwouldhavetohaveyou.Idon’t

wantformuchbutwhenIseesomethingIwantthenIgoafterit.You’retootalentedandbeautifultobe
someone’s housekeeper. You’re meant for lights and parties. You’re meant to shine. I intend to let that
happen.”

Sohelikedme.Thefunnyfeelinghegavemeinmystomachwhenheflirtedwasmutual?“I’mtrying

tounderstand,”Ireplied.

Hestoodandpulledmewithhim.Tuggingmeupagainsthisbody,hisrighthandslippedtomyback,

andIwasfirmlyheldflushwithhischest.“Letmebemorespecific.”Hethenloweredhisheaduntilhis
mouthbrushedmyneck,ear,cheekandlips.Thesmallgaspofsurprisethatcamefrominsidemewasthe
openingheneededtohaveme.Thewarmthandtasteofthewinefilledmysensesashedeepenedthekiss
andheldme.

Mykneesbegantogoweak.Iwastornbetweenpleasureandshock.Iwantedakissthenightofthe

dance,butthiswasn’tthekissIimagined.I’dseenkisseslikethisonthemovies.Itmadeyoublushtowatch
itandhereitwashappeninginactuallife.

Hishandthenslidtomybutt.HesqueezedandIinhaledsharply,Halecontinuingtotastemelikehis

glassofrichwine,myheadlightandbodytingling,anticipatingwhatwouldhappennext.Thiswasenough
togiveagirldaydreamsandmakehersillyforeternity.

Whenhecuppedmyfacewithhisotherhandhisthumbbrushedmycheekbone.Ittraileddownmy

neckuntilstoppingjustbeforehereachedmybreast.MynipplehardenedinneedandIcouldn’tbelieveI

wasreactingthiswaysoquickly.TherewasanachebetweenmylegsandIwantedtosqueezemythighs.I
neededrelieffromwhatIwasfeelingandIwashavingtroublestanding.

“That’swhy,”hesaidsoftlyashislipsfinallybroke.“Wefit.Perfectlytogether.”
Iwantedmoreofthatkissingandwordsweren’tgoingtocometomerightthen.Istaredwide-eyed

andweak.

“Ineedtogonoworwe’llmovethisfurtherthanneedbemovedatthemoment.”Hedroppedhis

handsfrommybodyandsteppedback.“EnjoyyoureveningSam.”

Thenthemanwasgone.
I inhaled deeply seven or eight times before sinking back down on my bed. The tingling was still

there,stillwantingrelief.Iwasavirgin,butIwasn’tignorant.IknewwhatIneededtodo.

WhenIheardthedoorclosesignalinghewasgoneIslidsmoothlybackonthebed.Slippedmyhand

downthefrontofmypanties.Thetouchofmyfingersagainsttheswollenclitmademesighwithpleasure.
IneededtofinishwhatHalehadstarted.

WithslowpressureIcircledthesensitivenubandclosedmyeyestoreflect.Memoriesofhishandson

mybody,whereIwould’velikedforhimtotouch,broughtmetothereleaseIrequired.Icriedout,mylegs
shaking,asthewaveofpleasurewashedovermybodytodrownme.

Thiswasn’tthefirsttimeIhaddonethis.ButitwasthefirsttimeIhadanactualfacetoaccompany

myimagination.Thesmellofhisskinstillclungtome.Iranmypalmsovermybreasts,gentlypinching
myhardenednipples.Hehadcalledmebeautiful,wasattractedtomeandhewantedmewithhiminthe
city.SurehedidthingsIdidn’treallylikebuthewasn’twhatIwasusedto.Hewasmakingconcessionsfor
me.Ihadtodothesameforhim.MybodyreactedtoHale.Itenjoyedhistouchandpressures.Iwanted
more.Hadtohaveit.AndtohaveitIwouldremain.

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