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Fanfiction Based on Characters From Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Series
Rated M for Mature Themes
Self Conclusion
By Goo82
Summary:
Bella is in college with her life long best friend and boyfriend, Jacob
Black. He is the only person that she has left in her life; until one night
everything is changed. She has nothing left live for and makes a decision that
could cost her…her life. Edward is a lonely and depressed college student who
feels his life is no longer worth living, until he meets Bella. Will he be able to
save her from herself, or will they end up destroying each other. Inspired by the
song by The Spill Canvas.
~*~
Once you’ve read and enjoyed this story, why not show the author some love, and review.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4255349/1/SelfConclusion
~*~
Prologue
“Self Conclusion”
Fade in, start the scene
Enter beautiful girl
But things are not what they seem
As we stand at the edge of the world
“Excuse me, sir,
But I have plans to die tonight
Oh, and you are directly in my way
And I bet you’re gonna say it’s not right”
My reply:
“Excuse me, miss
But do you have the slightest clue
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Of exactly what you just said to me
And exactly who you’re talking to?”
She said, “Idon’t care, you don’t even know me”
I said, “I know but I’d like to change that soon, hopefully”
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you’re never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets
“You make it sounds so easy to be alive
But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day
When everything inside me has died?”
My reply:
I know your legs are pleading to leap
But I offer you this easy choice-
Instead of dying, living with me”
She said, “Are you crazy? You don’t even know me.”
I said, “I know, but I’d like to change that soon hopefully”
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you’re never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets
I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough
And all this cliché motivation, it could never be enough
-
I could stand here all night trying to convince you
But what good would that do?
My offer stands, and you must choose
“All right, you win, but I only give you one night
To prove yourself to be better than my attempt at flight
I swear to god if you hurt me I will leap
I will toss myself from these very cliffs
And you’ll never see it coming”
“Settle, precious, I know what you’re going through
Just ten minutes before you got here I was gonna jump too”
Yeah we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
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You see the trick is that you’re never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets.
~*~
Chapter One
I just stood there, at Miller‟s Landing with the breeze blowing the ocean air in my
face. My eyes were closed tight and I was building up the courage to just get it
over with. By “it” I meant life. Everything that had happened to me in the past
few days, was enough for one person to deal with in a life-time and I was wasn‟t
even twenty- two yet.
My life had slowly gone down the drain and I just couldn‟t deal with it anymore. I
had no one to turn to. Everyone I had ever trusted had turned was gone. My
parents were dead and my friends had abandoned me. The only person that I
trusted in my life had let me down in the worse way possible.
Jacob, had officially hurt me in every way possible. He had taken everything I
believed to be true about us and, with a few stupid acts on his part, basically
destroyed my life.
He had been my friend since birth basically, my best friend since we were in
diapers, my boyfriend since middle school and my lover since high school. He
had, in a few short days, killed every part of me.
-flashback-
I had walked into my dorm after an excruciating day of class. I had decided to
take the day off work because I was just to worn out and needed a rest. I knew my
roommate Jess would be out so I would have the place to myself. I was shocked,
not just that Jess was home, but that she wasn‟t alone. I could hear the moaning
coming from her room as soon as I entered. I decided to grab my headphones off
the desk in the common room and head to my room to sleep. That was until Jess
screamed a very familiar name and my heart sank.
“Jacob”, Jess screamed loudly.
I stopped dead in my tracks and couldn‟t move for the life of me. I don‟t know
how long I stood there, silent. But eventually the door to Jess‟s bedroom opened
and out walked MY Jacob and my roommate, laughing and hugging. Then they
froze when they saw me.
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Tears were streaming down my face and I just stood, planted there. Neither of
them made a move for what seemed like ages. Jake finally took a step forward. I
put my hand up,“Don‟t touch me!”, I screamed.
“Bella, please, this isn‟t what it looks like.” He tried to explain.. was he kidding
me with this.
“What do you mean? How is this not exactly what it looks like?”
Jess just stood behind Jake hiding, acting as though any minute I was going to go
all talk show on her ass and throw a chair.
“ How could you do this to me?” I begged for an answer.
-
“ Bella, I didn‟t mean for this to happen. Please, let‟s talk about it.” he responded.
“I don‟t want to talk about it. I don‟t want to know anything. I am leaving and
don‟t follow me.. I will be back to get my shit.. I don‟t want to see either of you
again.” I screamed as I grabbed my bag and a few things until I could come back
tomorrow.
“ Bella, please just talk to me. Where are you going to go?” he asked as he took a
step forward.
“That is no longer any of your business, Jake. Stay away from me.” I said as I left.
I had no idea where I was going to go. I thought for a long while and couldn‟t
come up with a single person I could turn to, until I bumped into my lab partner
from biology, Mike. He was the typical frat boy, but deep down somewhere he
was a sweet kid. Just a bit pushy. We talked and he offered me the couch in his
room until tomorrow. I took him up on his offer and he was very sweet, letting
me take his bed while he took the couch. He even told me I could stay until I got
my rooms switched.
The next night his frat house was having a party and Mike talked me into going
just to “ have a bit of fun, get shit faced and forget the loser” he cheered handing
me a shot. He cracked me up at his very guy like way of trying to make me forget.
And it worked.
I was getting pretty toasted and after a round of beer pong , which I lost horribly
at. I went to sit on the steps of the house to take a breather.
I had leaned my head back and closed my eyes and let the cool night air run all
over me. Just then I felt a large hot hand on my cheek and I snapped my head up
and my eyes open.
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“Bella, are you ok? What the hell are you doing here?” Jacob asked in a tone that I
didn‟t too much care for.
“What did I tell you? What I do is no longer any of your concern.” I spat at him.
“ Everything about you is always my concern Bella.” He said close to my face. I
could smell the alcohol on his breath .
“Well this is where I am staying until I can find a new place to live and you
weren‟t invited so kindly leave.” I said as I stood up and walked around the porch,
hopefully away from him.
Wrong.
Jacob grabbed my arm and pulled me to the back of the house.
“Bella we have to talk. You have to understand. I fucked up. Please don‟t do this
to us, I made a huge mistake.” He begged some what slurred.
“Let go of me Jake. You don‟t have anything that I want to hear, so please leave!”
I shouted.
-
“ So that is it, your going to let one fucking mistake end twenty two years of life
together?” he shouted louder then I had ever heard him shout. I was getting
scared now.
I tried to get him to leave in a calmer way
“Jake, I don‟t want to do this now, please go home and we can talk later. Now is
not a good time.” I pleaded with him just wanting him to leave.
“Huh.. And your just going to sleep in a house full of fucking frat guys all night?
Have you lost your mind? Come home with me and I will sleep on the couch.”
“No Jake, I am not coming home with you. I will call you tomorrow and we can
meet somewhere.. But please just leave now.” I said as firmly as I could with out
raising my voice.
“I don‟t think so.” he said as he took a step forward and crashed his lips to mine.
I attempted to push him off of me but he grabbed my tiny wrist in one hand and
held the back of my head with the other. Forcing my lips apart and I tried to
scream.. But it was only muffled by his mouth on mine. Finally when he released
my mouth I started in on him.
“WHAT THE HELL! Don‟t ever touch me again.” I screamed
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“ I can touch you whenever I want. You are mine Bella, and I am not going to let
you blow this mistake of mine out of proportion and ruin what is meant to be.”
The booze had obviously clouded his mind.. I had never seen him act like this.
“No Jake, you gave up that right when you thought Jess was worth the chance to
ruin what we had. You ended us. You made the choice, not me. Now please
leave!” I was screaming again.
“No!” His voice boomed and I took a step back.
“Please.” It was almost a whisper, I was so scared now.
I had never seen him act like this, I had actually never seen Jake drink.. So I was
unaware that this is how alcohol affected him. He apparently was not a nice
drunk.
“Please what!” he screamed back.
“Please just go. Please just let me go inside.” I begged.
That pushed him over the edge. He grabbed me and slammed me into a nearby
tree. It knocked the wind out of me and all I could do was stand there shocked.
Shocked because the boy that I had known since birth, my best friend, my lover,
my everything had never once shown this side to me, ever.
-
“ You are my life. You are everything to me Bella, and I am not going to allow one
mistake to ruin our entire life. I won‟t let you do this to us.” he said again,
followed by him yet again, crushing his lips to mine.
This time when I tried to fight it only made him stronger, pressing his lips so
hard to mine I thought my teeth would puncture my lips. I was pressed so hard
into the trunk of the tree that I knew I would have bruises on my back. I was
starting to need air and feeling light headed from the lack of it. He moved from
my mouth to my neck, and I begged over and over for him to stop, sobbing now.
“Please Jake, just let me go inside, please.” I begged.
“Don‟t cry. Why are you crying?” he asked with a shocked tone.
“Jake, this isn‟t you. You‟re drunk, please let me go and we can talk about this
tomorrow.” I pleaded again.
“NO! Fuck, Bella. Why are you doing this to us? You aren‟t doing this. You are my
life, and I will keep you in it no matter what.” He said close to my ear as he ran
his hand down my side to the top of my jeans.
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I couldn‟t believe this, I tried to squirm and fight him but it only made him more
ticked off in his current state. So I did the only thing I could think of. I screamed.
Not a good choice apparently. All of the sudden the side of my face burned from
his large hand hitting me. He placed his hand over my mouth now and even
angrier then he was before started to rip down my jeans. And his were next. I
couldn‟t believe this was happening,
“No, Jake, NO ! Please, Jake I don‟t want this. No!” I begged like I had never
begged before.
He didn‟t listen. We were far enough in the dark that no one would notice what
was going on if they came back here and I don‟t think he cared anyway. As he
pushed my legs apart I cried harder than I had ever cried, and started to shut
down. My mind just couldn‟t take what was happening. I never thought this
would happen to me and never at the hand of my best friend.
His thrust were digging my back harder and harder into the tree and it ached so
badly I was sure my back would be bleeding by now.
Finally he stopped. He had finished and he put me down and pulled his pants up.
I stood there motionless, unable to even cover myself. I just stared at nothing,
wanting for nothing, thinking of nothing. I was pulled back by the sound of his
voice.
“ Bella, I love you. Don‟t you see that? We were made for each other.”
“Go home Jake. I am going to bed, I‟ll call you in the morning.” I said as I pulled
up my pants.
“Never forget I love you Bella, please. “ he said with a kiss and left.
-
I stood outside for what felt like forever before running up to Mike‟s room. He
was asleep on the couch and it took me a moment to decide whether to wake him
up or leave him. I didn‟t really know him that well and I didn‟t want to burden
him with my drama. I felt disgusting. I wanted a shower. I just wanted every part
of him off of me. I couldn‟t tell anyone.. I couldn‟t do this. I can‟t live this over
and over again. I wanted what happened to just go away. I had lost my friend that
night forever, I had lost my home, lost everything. It seemed like a trend. Family
gone, friends gone, life gone. What was the point anymore.
I stood in the shower with the water as hot as I could get it. As I stood there trying
to get rid of every trace of him off me, he was all I could think about. How could
he do this to me. He was there the night my whole world came crashing down.
The night of our senior prom. We had gone with Ben and Angela. That was one of
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the best nights I had ever had, until we drove up to my house and it was
surrounded by police cars. He was with me when one of Charlie‟s friends from the
police station told me that someone tried to break into my house and Charlie had
tried to stop him. The robber wound up shooting Renee, my mom and Charlie,
before running off. I went to live with Billy and Jake that night. I was only 17 and
couldn‟t live by myself until I was 18. He was there for me through all of that.
Even though I withdrew from everyone around me, he refused to let me withdraw
from him. He was my rock, my only reason for living. The cold water shocked me
out of my memories and I got out of the shower and got dressed. I knew what I
would do now. I knew that nothing would ever be the same, that nothing would
ever get better from this point. Now there was no point to even being here
anymore.
I decided then, that I really didn‟t want to have anything to do with this life
anymore. I was done with it. Too much. Too much for one person to have to deal
with in one life. I got dressed and grabbed my keys. I headed off to put my plan
into action.
I drove up to Miller‟s Landing, parked the car and stepped out. The cool night air
hit me and I could smell the ocean immediately. I looked around and didn‟t
notice anyone else. I walked to the cliff‟s edge and stood there. I looked straight
out into the darkness, only lit by the cloud covered moon. I could just make out
the waves coming to crash into the bottom of the cliff. Crashing over the rocks at
the bottom.
-end flashback-
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back taking in the breeze, the aroma of the
water below. I knew what I was going to do, and there wasn‟t a single person
there to stop me. I didn‟t want to be stopped, there was no point anymore for
anything. I was officially alone now in the world and no one would miss me. I
took a step forward, bringing myself just inches from the edge now. I took one
last deep breath, my mind made up.
~*~
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Chapter Two
EPOV
I pulled my car around the back, near the picnic area to Miller‟s Landing. I didn‟t
want anyone to see me. I had a clear idea of what I was about to do and I didn‟t
need anyone to stop me.
I had come to the realization that I pretty much sucked at life. That nothing I ever
did was right. No matter how many times my parents told me how perfect I was,
or when my brother and sister tried to prove how great I was, I just didn‟t see it.
It always seemed like someone else they were talking about, because the way they
talked about me, wasn‟t what I saw at all. Everything I attempted to do crashed
and burned like a huge jumbo jet.
Carlisle and Esme, my parents, had the kind of love people only dream about. It
was love at first sight, and they are just as in love as the day they met. Emmett
and Alice, my brother and sister, have pretty much known who their soul mates
were since we were in diapers. Jasper and Rosalie are twins and our best friends
since pre-school. We all grew up together and were inseparable. We still are, but
now it‟s different. Alice and Jasper have always had a connection. Even when we
were too young to know what it was, we knew there was something different
about their relationship. As we got older, the connection grew stronger. Jasper
has always been quiet and reserved, and Alice, well, she is nothing but a ball of
energy. She is the only person that has ever been able to get Jasper to open up
and break out of his shell. And Jasper, well, with one touch or whisper can get
Alice to calm down and mellow out. It‟s a strange connection, but one I don‟t
think can ever be broken.
Then there‟s Emmett and Rosalie. Growing up, they were always close, but never
looked at each other in a romantic way, until middle school. Rosalie got her first
boyfriend and he tried to kiss her in front of everybody at school, but Rose wasn‟t
having that. Emmett, being the protector that he is, beat the boy up. Ever since
that day, they have been together. They have one of those strange connections
too. They just seem to be made for each other. I have always been the fifth wheel
and a failure when it comes to relationships. I couldn‟t keep a girlfriend to save
my life. The longest relationship I had was with Tanya, and that lasted only 9
months. I thought I had finally found what my parents and siblings had. I had
finally found someone to love only to find out that I was just a place holder until
the next best thing came along. That realization crushed me. I had given her
everything I had to give, and she ripped me apart.
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-
School was not working out at all either. I couldn‟t focus. Being an art major was
really not working out for me. I thought it was what I wanted, but I couldn‟t work
on art when I was forced to do it for a grade. Art to me didn‟t happen like that. It
wasn‟t something you could force...and so, with that thought in my head, my
entire college career seemed idiotic. What was I going to do for a job? If I can‟t be
forced for a grade, I sure as hell can‟t be forced to make art to just pay bills. If that
is how it was going to be, then I would end up hating the one thing in my life that
I truly loved. I refused to let that happen. My dad had always wanted me to go to
medical school, and become a doctor like him, but I didn‟t want that. Carlisle was
disappointed, but he supported me anyways. Now I am going to disappoint him
again, by being a failure at the one thing I‟m supposed to be good at.
So in search for what to do for my life, I realized I wasn‟t good at anything else.
My family was no help. The typical, “You will be good at anything you try”
response was not what I needed. I needed to have someone who knew me, who
cared for me to sit me down and say... “Stop fucking up your life”. But that
wouldn‟t come. My family and friends were all set in life, and couldn‟t understand
what my deal was. Not that they had time to understand. They had lives, they had
someone special to share everything with and I was the odd person out, who sat
there in a corner being passed by.
With all this going on I had started to slowly, and then more quickly fall into a
deep depression. Nothing matters anymore. Because everything I do only causes
issues for others. Just my mere speaking for a second seems to be a burden to
anyone I attempt this with.
I wondered if anyone else had ever felt like this. Like their existence is completely
pointless and that no one would miss them for a second. I knew my family would
but maybe just for a second. Every one of their lives was just how they wanted it,
and they couldn‟t be happier. Nothing seemed to upset them, or bother them to
the point that it bothered me.
I just needed to feel like for once, that my choice actually mattered, that I would
follow through with something and be proud of myself, if only for a moment.
Even if I didn‟t get to enjoy it afterward I know that I would for one moment be
completely and utterly happy that I was able to accomplish what I set out to do.
So I sat there, in my car for what seemed like ages. Just staring out at the moonlit
water beyond the edge of the cliff. Listening to whatever random station was on,
with some trivial crap music. I rested my head back on the seat and stared at the
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ceiling of the car. Making peace with everything in me for what I was about to do.
That is when something moving in the distance caught my eye.
-
A car had pulled up and shut off its lights. A girl about my age, who looked visibly
upset stepped out and slowly made her way the cliff‟s edge. She stood a few feet
away from the edge and just seemed to stare out into the nothingness. As she
stood there, seeming to be caught up deep in thought, she tilted her head back
and closed her eyes and took a step forward.
I was shocked, I knew what she was about to do and something clicked. Why
would anyone do that? What could be so wrong in her life that she felt the need to
step off this cliff? She was young, and from what I could tell, very beautiful. I
opened my car door, and left it open, I didn‟t want to have her hear it close and
maybe cause her to speed up what she was about to do.
I walked slowly over to her. As I got closer I could see that she had been crying. I
didn‟t even know her but her expression broke my heart. She looked absolutely
broken and I felt the urge to just grab her and hug her. To sooth her crying. To let
her know that someone was here... That I would listen if she needed to talk. I, for
some unknown reason, would do anything to stop her from doing what she
planned. Why did I care so much all the sudden? I was just moments away from
doing what she was about to do. Now that was the furthest thing from my mind.
I stopped just in time to see her make what I assumed to be her final choice in
this life as she stepped a bit closer to the edge. I had to move now or her life was
about to be over. Though I couldn‟t explain it. I couldn‟t let that happen. So I did
the only thing I could think of, and believe me I am sure if I had time it would
have come out much better… But time was not with me tonight.
“Hey” I said stepping closer to her.
Her head snapped up and her tear stained face looked at me in horror, like she
had just been committing some awful crime and had been caught in the middle of
the horrid act.
“Do you speak?” I asked trying to do something, anything that would get her to
talk to me.
“Yes, I speak, but I am kind of in the middle of something right now, do you
mind?” she said flatly.
-
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“Well, you might want to step a little further back. You might fall if you‟re not
careful.” What is wrong with me, I thought.
“That was the plan.” she said sadly.
“What do you mean that was the plan?” I asked.
“I came up here to fall off the cliff, well more like jump. Look at it how ever you
want.”
“Why would you want to do that?” I asked her. Shocked at how forward she was
about it.
“Listen, I don‟t need to be talked out of this. I just need you to leave me and let
me get this over with.”
“Well don‟t you think you should talk to someone about it? Anyone, me for
example. We could talk. You can jump afterwards if you want. But maybe I can
help.” I tried my best to get her to talk to me.
“Look, I don‟t know you, ok. I am not going to just spill my issues on to a
stranger. It is my problem and I have already decided how to deal with it.” she
said with out a hint of emotion.
“Well, you know, you could get to know me. You could sit and talk to me for a bit.
Maybe it would help. I mean there has to be a better solution then jumping off a
cliff and ending it.” I thought about what I just said and felt like such a hypocrite.
Before I saw, her I was about to do the same.
I continued, “Nothing can be so bad that you want to end it all. I mean I am sure
at one point or another everyone has thought about it but you can‟t be so far gone
to think that this is seriously what you want.”
-
“Furthermore, shit happens, life blows 90 percent of the time. But you have to
realize that the 10 percent is worth it. That things get better, and that 10 percent
over shadows the 90 percent. Things will get better. They have to. I don‟t know
what has brought you to this but I am willing to help. You may not know me but
trust me. Just talk to me, I can help you.” It was all I could think to say.
“Ha, you say that like it is the easiest thing in the world. To trust someone I don‟t
even know, to share something so personal with you. I don‟t even know what
trust means anymore. Everyone I have ever trusted has let me down. I am
basically dead in side. Nothing more then a shell. And you want me to trust you?”
she said with a tone of shock.
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“What do you have to lose? I mean, if your planning on dying anyway, why not
give it one more go? Why not just talk to me? I know what you plan on doing, if
you still want to do it after our talk, I won‟t stop you.” Clearly I was lying now, for
I would stop her at any cost.
“Do you really want to waste your time? You won‟t change my mind. I have
nothing anymore. I have no family, no home, and no friends. I have nothing left.
So really there is nothing you can say that will make me change my mind.” she
tried to explain.
“Well, how about this. My name is Edward. I live right off campus. How about we
go to my place. We get some take out, we talk, anything you want. I have a second
bedroom that is unused and you can stay as long as you like. Until you get back
on your feet or whatever you need. It locks from the inside… If you think I would
do something. I don‟t know. Please, I am begging you to trust me. I won‟t do
anything to hurt you; I just want you to not do this tonight. I will help in anyway I
can. Just give me a chance. If it doesn‟t work, it doesn‟t. But at least I tried.” I
offered.
“Are you kidding me? I don‟t know anything about you. Hell, you don‟t even
know me. Why would you do this? Why would you offer a complete stranger a
place in your home? What if I am some crazy person, which by the way I must be,
I am trying to jump off a cliff. Why would you even bother? Not to mention. How
am I supposed to trust you?” she was trying to give every good reason why what I
was offering made no sense.
“Listen; do you know how I saw you? I saw you because I was sitting in my car
over there” I pointed to my car “finalizing my plans to do what you are about to
do. Then I saw you. I saw what you were getting ready to do and I couldn‟t let
you. I know you don‟t know me and I don‟t know you. But maybe we could -
change that. Maybe if I don‟t jump and you don‟t jump, we can be there for each
other, seeing as we apparently need someone, anyone to talk to. There has to be
something we can do to change whatever has brought us to this point. All I am
asking is that we
“ You were about to jump to? Why? And how did you change your mind so fast?
Seeing as you are apparently no longer willing to follow through with what you
were here for?”
That stung a little, seeing as the whole reason I was going to was so I could finally
feel like I had followed through with something once in my life. Now she said that
a brief wave of depression hit. But I snapped out of it.
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“ Look, I was ready to do what you are. But then I saw you. I feel all alone in
everything I do. Like no one understands anything about me, no one really knows
me. Not even me. I don‟t even know myself, how pathetic is that? But then I saw
you. I saw you about to follow through with my plan. It clicked that there was
someone, from the looks of it that was like me. Who looked like they felt like I do.
For that moment, I wasn‟t alone. It felt like if you followed through with what you
were about to do then I would, yet again, be alone. So I came to stop you. To see if
maybe we could help each other. Please let‟s try. I am willing to try anything. It
has got to be better then the alternative.”
She stood there looking at me in silence for a bit, the expression on her face
looked like she was having a battle with herself of what to do. Finally she spoke.
“I will give you one day. One day to convince me that there is anything worth
living for anymore. After that I am done. I swear to god, don‟t touch me; I have
been hurt enough this week and I promised that will only make me jump sooner.
Do you understand me?” she said with a bit of force.
“Listen, I am done trying to talk you into this. You know my offer; you can take it
or leave it. Really, I was about to do the same as you, and so now all I want is for
us to at least try to see if we can get through this. Who better then someone who
knows what you are going through…” she cut me off there.
-
“You have no idea what I am going through, just as I have no idea what brought
you to this same situation. So please, let‟s not assume that it is anything close to
the same thing.”
She was a bit pissed now.
“I didn‟t mean it like that, maybe we should go and we can start talking. So that
neither of us assumes anything about each other anymore.” My lame attempt at
getting her away from that cliff.
“Fine” She said
“Ok, if you want you can follow me in my car. We can go to my place, get some
food. Start talking.” I offered.
“Alright, let‟s get this over with. You really shouldn‟t get your hopes up. There
isn‟t anyways to fix what is wrong with me.” She stated sounding sad.
“We will see.” I said as we went to our cars.
I planned on working extremely hard at changing her mind.
15
~*~
Chapter Three
EPOV
I drove through town with her following behind me, trying to think of what I
could do to convince her that what we had planned on doing was not right. I
knew already why it wasn‟t right for me. The problem would be getting her to see
why it wasn‟t right for her. I had no idea yet what had happened to her. So really,
I had nothing to go with. No words ready to explain that whatever happened
would get better. It couldn‟t be that bad could it? I can‟t imagine anything at the
moment that would be so bad that you can‟t make it better.
We pulled up in front of my apartment and I stepped out of the car. I walked back
to her car and went to open the door for her. She sat there not moving.
“I promise, everything is going to be alright. I am not going to do anything but
talk. Maybe eat, I am starving.” Trying to lighten the mood a little bit.
“Believe me, there is nothing you could do to me that hasn‟t already been done.”
she said and I wondered what that was supposed to mean.
“You know, I don‟t even know your name. I told you mine, yet somehow we
managed to completely pass yours up.” I said feeling a bit stupid for not asking.
She looked up at me with her puffy, red eyes and spoke.
“I am Bella.”
“Nice to meet you, Bella.”
I held my hand out to help her out of her car, and she didn‟t take it.
-
“I said no touching.” she reminded me.
“Sorry, I didn‟t think that trying to help you out of the car meant touching, but
ok.”
“No touching means no touching. Sorry, but I don‟t want to be touched in
anyway, ok?” she said with a serious tone.
“Alright, no touching in any way, even to help.”
16
We walked to the front of the building and I held the door open for her and
pointed to the elevator.
I reached the doors and pressed the up button. I glanced over at her and she
seemed to be staring off into space as we waited for the doors to open.
With a DING the doors opened and we stepped in. I pressed the five button and
the doors closed.
I noticed as we rode up, that she stood as far away from me as possible. Her arms
were crossed over her chest and she kept looking down at the floor. She didn‟t
make a sound.
The doors opened and I stepped out with her following me.
“This is me.” I said pointing at the door.
She nodded and went back to staring at the floor.
I opened the door and walked through and she followed.
“Have a seat.” I said pointing to the couch.
She looked up and over the small living room with the kitchen off to the left and
the hallway to the bedrooms to the right.
“Thanks.” she said and went and sat on the couch.
“So, are you hungry? What do you like? We could get Chinese if you want.”
-
“Sure, I don‟t care really.”
“Well, what would you like?” I asked.
“Spicy Beef combo, I guess.” She said with what seemed to be a hint of
uncertainty.
I placed the order and asked if she wanted anything to drink. After grabbing two
cokes, I walked and sat in the recliner next to the couch. Unsure of how to make
sure I used my 24 hours wisely, I just jumped in.
“So, want to tell me why?” I asked.
“Why what?” she asked confused.
“Well, why you were about to throw yourself off a cliff.”
“Huh, I already told you. There is nothing worth living for anymore. I have no
one.”
17
“Yes, but what brought you to that conclusion? You said something when we were
out front about not doing anything to you that hasn‟t already been done.” She
flinched at this.
“I‟m sorry, I don‟t mean to push, but I only have 24 hours to change your mind.
So, I thought I should try to understand.” I didn‟t want to push her.
“No, its fine, I mean I said I would give you a day. I just … I don‟t know. I really
can‟t explain. I…I think... I don‟t know.” she was starting to look upset.
“You don‟t have to. Sorry, I don‟t want to upset you. I just want to help.”
“Why don‟t you tell me why you were going to do it?” she looked up at me.
“I have a feeling mine isn‟t as important as yours. Will it help you if I go first?” I
asked.
“It couldn‟t hurt. You said we should talk, try to be there for each other. So,
maybe let me help you and then we can work on me.” the corners of her mouth
arched slightly as she finished.
“Well, hmmm. I basically blow at life. My parents and my brother and sister who
are pretty much perfect have everything figured out. As do the few friends I have.
They have someone in their lives that complete the life they have made for
themselves and have not a worry in the world. I am the little emo fifth wheel who
has no love, no direction, and no goal. I don‟t follow through with anything. I
can‟t seem to picture where I will be in 5 years. I can‟t even pick a career. I have
realized the last years few years of college have been a waste. I am an artist, so
therefore, an art major and I can‟t seem to do work. I am failing because I can‟t
force art; it has to come to me. I realized that if I can‟t force it for a grade, I sure
as hell am not going to be able to force it for a living. So, what am I supposed to
do now? What is the point of even trying to continue with anything? I can‟t even
follow through with offing myself. How pathetic is that?” It really did sound
stupid once I said it.
She was just staring at me, not moving. I couldn‟t really read her expression. I
started to see tears well up in her eyes, about to spill over when there was a knock
at the door.
“Be right there!” I shouted as I stood up to head for the door.
“Bella, are you alright?” She didn‟t move.
I walked to the door and opened it handing the money to the delivery guy and
taking the bag of food. I shut the door and headed to the kitchen and pulled out
plates. I was trying to think of what to do. I wasn‟t really experienced with having
18
a crying girl in my house. I didn‟t want to rush her, but I thought if I could get her
to talk about whatever it was that was bothering her, she would heal some.
I walked out of the kitchen carrying the food and plates and noticed she had her
head in her hands.
“Bella, I am sorry if I said something wrong. I just want to help.” what the hell
should I say.
She looked up from her hands and again her face was wet and her eyes puffy.
“I‟m sorry, it isn‟t you. You have been very kind, thought I don‟t know why.” she
said as she looked down at the floor.
“I have already told you, I think we can help each other. There is a better way
then what we came up with. Please tell me what is wrong. I just want to help. I
need your help and I want to help you.”
She sat silently for a few minutes before placing her head in her hands again, and
then mumbled something I couldn‟t hear.
“I‟m sorry Bella; I didn‟t hear what you said.” She removed her hands from her
face to speak again.
“I was raped.” she said so quiet I almost didn‟t hear it again.
What was I supposed to do, I had no experience with crying girls in my house,
and I had even less experience in giving advice to a victim of such a disgusting
act.
“Bella, I am so very sorry. I…I…hmmm. Is there anything I can do? Did you call
the police? Do you know who it was? Are you ok?” It was like word vomit coming,
of course she wasn‟t ok.
“Edward, there is nothing you can do, I have only told you, I had no one else to
tell. I have no one else to tell because the person who did it was someone who I
trusted my life with. He was my best friend, he was my boyfriend, and he was my
life for twenty two years. He was all I had left.” She was sobbing and almost
screaming now “He was all I had left, and he killed me.” I sat there and listened
as she told me about the night her parents died and how she went to live with
Jacob and his dad. Then she went into what had happened to her over the last
couple of days. She explained how she felt when she walked in on her only friend
and boyfriend, and the next night when he tried to get her to come home with
him. Then she began sobbing uncontrollably as she explain how he got angry and
raped her and left her at -
19
the frat house. She tried to explain how she was feeling when she got back to her
friends room and how she came to the conclusion that her only option was to
jump off a cliff. “So now I am homeless, friendless, and broken. I have nothing to
live for and I don‟t plan on trying.” she said as she continued to sob
uncontrollably.
I suddenly felt like a complete ass. I had family, friends, and a home and here she
sat with none of those things. It made my issues seems so trivial and I felt so
horrible. I didn‟t know what to do. I wanted to comfort her but she didn‟t want to
be touched. How was I supposed to make this better?
“Bella, it will be fine. I don‟t know how, but I am here for you. I will help in any
way you need me to. Please talk to me, Bella, you‟re not alone. I am here, I know
you don‟t know me, but I will be here as long as you need me to be. I will do
anything you need.” what else could I say?
“Edward, I know I said not to… But can you just hold me? Please?” she asked in
between sobbing.
“If that will help, I will do anything to help.” I started to stand and go over to the
couch to sit with her. I sat down and decided to let her do what she felt
comfortable with. I didn‟t want to upset her more. She leaned over and rested her
head on my chest and buried her face in my shirt. She was crying harder now, her
whole body shaking from the sobs. I slowly, to judge her comfort, wrapped my
arms around her and just sat there, allowing her to cry it all out.
“What am I going to do? I have nothing left. He knows where I live, he was all I
had left and he is gone. He raped me. My best friend raped me.” She cried. “I
have nothing left.” she repeated over and over. I just sat there, stroking her hair
and rubbing her back. Not knowing what to say, just letting her release it.
Finally the shaking stopped and she had fallen asleep. From, what I can only
assume was exhaustion. I grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and
pulled it over us. I didn‟t want to move her and wake her so I sat there like that
letting her sleep.
I don‟t know what came over me, but I was shaking now from anger. The fact that
someone who had been through so much with this sweet person, who knew her
so long, could hurt her like this in a matter of days. I wanted to kill him. I didn‟t
know where all the emotion came from I just knew I wanted him dead for doing
anything to harm her so deeply.
Hours passed and I sat there my eyelids starting to get heavy with sleep and I was
almost out when Bella started to shift. As if she was having a dream. Quiet at first
20
she started saying “No!” and then louder… I tried to calm her and repeated “It‟s
ok Bella, you‟re safe.” but she wouldn‟t calm down… finally she screamed “NO!
Please don‟t do this, please.” and shot straight up looking around.
“Bella your ok, you‟re safe, Bella, calm down.” she looked horrified.
“I am so sorry, I should leave. I shouldn‟t be here, I shouldn‟t burden you with my
drama.” she started saying this over and over.
-
“Bella stay, you promised me 24 hours. Please stay and calm down. You‟re not
burdening me. I want you to be here.” I meant it.
“I don‟t understand you. I don‟t get why you would even care about me.” she said.
“Because, I may not know exactly how you‟re feeling. Nor would I pretend to even
try to imagine, but I do know that feeling of there being nothing left worth living
for. I think we can be that something to each other.” trying to lighten the mood a
bit of course I had to throw in my lame attempt at humor. “Plus, we really are too
awesome, to not continue to be in this world. It would miss us.”
With this she sniffed and smiled. It was adorable. She rested her head back on my
shoulder and we sat there. I rubbed her back reassuringly and we sat in silence.
Soon we both drifted off to sleep. I had stopped her from leaving, and from this
day forward, I would do everything in my power to make sure she never wanted
to leave.
~*~
Chapter Four
BPOV
I didn‟t dream anymore that night. The sun shining in the apartment brought me
out of my sleep. As I slowly opened my eyes, I realized I had been sleeping with
my head on Edward‟s chest and his arms were wrapped tight around me. I looked
up at his sleeping face and he looked so peaceful. I hadn‟t been paying attention
last night, but he was very good looking. He has messy bronze hair, beautiful long
eye lashes, a very nice jaw line, and the most beautiful green eyes I have ever
seen. He wasn‟t huge but he was definitely in nice shape, I could tell that, as I was
laying against him. I rested my head back on his chest and could hear his heart
beating. I felt so comfortable with Edward, and I felt like I could tell him
21
anything. I don‟t know why I trusted him, I had only know him about 12 hours,
but it felt like I had known him my whole life. When he held me last night, I felt a
connection, like a jolt of electricity. It felt like there was a current running
between us all night. I‟ve never felt anything quite like it. I never felt anything like
that with Jacob. I don‟t know what it was, but there was something calming in his
touch that made me feel safe and protected and made me trust him.
I sat there like that, replaying the night through my head, how this person I was
with now, who didn‟t know me at all seemed to care about what happened to me.
It made me kind of sad, that someone who didn‟t know me seemed to care about
me more than the people who knew me my whole life. Why was that? Jake had
hurt me in the worse possible way and he knew me better then anyone. Yet
Edward who didn‟t know me at all wanted to do anything but hurt me.
All of the sudden I heard my phone ringing in my purse. It seemed louder than
normal considering the silence that I had been sitting in. I felt Edward shift under
me and I didn‟t want to move. I felt comfort with him and I didn‟t want it to end.
How can I feel this comfortable with this man that I just met, it‟s crazy, but then
again, I almost jumped off a cliff last night. Then a velvety voice pulled me out of
my trance.
“Is that you?” he asked sounding groggy from sleep.
“Yes, sorry it woke you. Let me get it.”
I stood up and dug through my bag, pulling out the phone and looking at the
caller ID. My heart, what was left of it, dropped. It was Jake. I didn‟t know what
to do. I felt fear spread over me. My face must have shown it because Edward
stood and came over to my side asking what was wrong.
“It‟s…it‟s him.” I said my body starting to shake.
“Who? Jake?” He said in an angry tone.
“Yes”
He grabbed the phone from me and flipped it open.
“Hello?”
He listened to what Jake said on the other end.
-
“Don‟t you ever call this phone again, do you understand me?” He shouted . “If I
hear of you coming any where near her, ever, I swear you will pay. Don‟t call her,
don‟t touch her, don‟t do anything to her.”
22
I could tell this didn‟t please Jake cause I could hear him yelling on the other end
of the phone. Asking to talk to me, asking who Edward was. Saying “ This is none
of your business”.
“That is where you are wrong my friend. This is my business now. It would be in
your best interest to do what I said. Don‟t call her again!” and with that he flipped
the phone closed. And looked at me.
“I am sorry. I know I had no right, but that guy has to be out of his mind to call
you after that.” he said still obviously upset.
“No it‟s ok. I appreciate it really, I do.”
He plopped down on the couch and leaned his head back and pinched the bridge
of his nose.
“You know Bella, I hope you don‟t mind me saying so, but that guy is an asshole.”
I gave a small chuckle, the way he said it just made me laugh. Something I didn‟t
think I would ever do again.
“Well that is stating the obvious, but it really is a new occurrence.” and that was
the truth, Jake had never been anything but a truly amazing person. I think
maybe that is why I was even more upset.
“Hmmm, well it definitely is not a positive one.”
“Yeah, I know.” I responded sadly.
I had realized just then that I had been standing in the same position as I had
when I picked up the phone. So I sat down in the recliner and looked over at
Edward.
“So what do you have planned for the rest of our time together?” I asked.
He gave me a pained look, like I had said something that had hurt him.
“So you still plan on doing it? I wasn‟t able to change your mind?” He asked still
looking hurt.
“Honestly, I don‟t know. I really don‟t know.” I was trying to be honest.
“Bella, I was serious. I have an extra room. You can stay there. I will go with you
to get your things from where ever they are. I will help you anyway I can. Please
let me do this, okay. Please.” His eyes and voice showed how much he wanted me
to stay.
“I don‟t know. How could I let you do something like that for me. You don‟t owe
me anything like that. You realize how crazy this would be?”
23
“I don‟t think it is crazy. How many times do I have to tell you, we both have what
the other needs. We would have each other. We could be there for each other.
Just try.” He pleaded.
-
I thought about it. I mean, I didn‟t have anywhere to go… and the only other
option that I had come up with was killing myself. Maybe not the best idea, I
know, but I really couldn‟t think of anything else. There was something about
Edward that did calm me, that made me feel safe. Even though I never wanted to
be touched again, I needed him last night and he did help me making sure that I
was ok with it. He went at my speed just to comfort me. Though I still didn‟t
understand why someone who didn‟t know me would care so much. Being around
him these past few hours I had felt better. Of course not anywhere near being
whole again. But he had some effect on me I could put into words. I really didn‟t
want to be away from him. Not to mention that he was in pain, and no matter
what his pain was it was still pain. I felt like I added to it because now he was
embarrassed that his reasons for what we were going to do last night was
something that didn‟t even compare to mine. But it didn‟t matter to me, because
it was still something that was causing him to feel the need to end his life. I don‟t
think that one out weighed the other and he needed help, just as much as I did.
“OK, if you are sure. If you promise to tell me the minute I become a burden.”
“I wouldn‟t hold your breath for that.” he said. “So what now? Do you want to go
get your things? I mean you can‟t very well wear the same clothes, and I am sure
you need things for classes.”
“Ugh…I don‟t really want to see my roommate, but I guess it has to happen. I
guess we can go, but you are coming with me right?” I asked, not wanting to face
her alone.
“I told you I would silly.” he said with a smile. “Are you hungry? Do you want to
eat first, then go?”
“I really just want to get this over with as soon as possible. I don‟t want to see
wither of them after today.”
“Alright then let me get dressed and we can head on over. We can take my car.”
Edward got dressed and we headed over to the dorms. I was nervous the entire
drive. I didn‟t want to have any reminder of the events that happened. The events
that led up to the rape, and my choice to end everything.
I couldn‟t stop fidgeting in the seat. Edward noticed and placed his hand on mine
and told me it was alright. “I will be there with you the whole time. I won‟t let you
24
do this alone. Don‟t worry okay. We will get this done as fast as we can.” He tried
to reassure me.
We had pulled up to the dorms by then and although I was still freaking out on
the inside, I was calmed by the fact that I wasn‟t doing this alone. We went to the
elevators and got in. I hit the button for my floor. We waited in silence as we went
up to the third floor. When the doors opened my heart started to race. I really
didn‟t want to do this, but I needed to get it over with. If I was going to try to
move on I needed to start soon.
We made it to my dorm and I didn‟t hear anyone inside so I unlocked the door
and stepped in. Edward was close behind me. I didn‟t see Jess in the common
room so I headed to my room and stopped dead in my tracks. There were huge
flower arrangements all around my room. Roses and Hyacinths, my favorite. -
I picked up a card and it was from Jake. I didn‟t care to know what it said. I threw
it in the trash. I went to my closet and grabbed the box of garbage bags. Handing
the box to Edward I told him to just start throwing things in. “I don‟t care how
you do it, just lets get this done as fast as possible.. I want to get out of here.”
We spent the next 20 minutes throwing everything I owned into garbage bags
and duffle bags that I had. I really didn‟t own much so there wasn‟t a lot to do.
We had made one trip down to the car and just had one left. As we were packing
things into the common room by the door and I looked over my now bare room to
make sure I hadn‟t forgotten anything, there was a knock at the door.
I wasn‟t expecting anyone so it must be someone looking for Jess. I went to the
door and opened it, and my heart started beating so hard I was sure my chest
would feel bruised later. There stood Jake, looking like absolute hell. He looked
as though he had been crying or had the shit beaten out of him. Either way I
really didn‟t care. I went to shut the door back in his face but his hand stopped it.
“Jake, leave now! I have nothing to say to you.” I shouted.
“Bella, Please, I am so sorry I just want to talk to you.” He said in a hushed voice
as he reached for my hand.
Ripping my hand back I screamed “Don‟t touch me, don‟t you ever touch me
again. Do you understand? So help me Jake, I will call the cops. Keep your hands
to yourself and just leave me alone.”
“Bella, Please, I am begging you please. Just talk to me. I know I can‟t take back
what I did. I don‟t know why I did it. I am so sorry. I love you. I would never do
anything to hurt you, please. Please forgive me. I can‟t take it if I don‟t have you
in my life. I can‟t live knowing you aren‟t with me.”
25
“Have you lost your fucking mind? You raped me, you asshole. I can‟t believe you
think that I would ever have anything to do with you. I want NOTHING to do
with you. Stay away from me. Never speak to me again. Just leave me alone.” I
started to shout holding the tears that were trying to force their way out back.
At this time Edward came out of my room and didn‟t look to happy. He ran up to
me and grabbed my hand. “Bella are you ok?” he asked.
“I am fine. I just want him to leave”
Edward turned to look at Jake in the door. His hand holding my door open. His
face angry at the site of a man he didn‟t know holding my hand and in my room. “
Who is this?” Jake asked visibly not happy.
“This is none of your….” Edward cut me off.
“I am the guy who spoke to you this morning. Obviously you have forgotten our
conversation. I could have sworn I told you to never come near her again. I could
have sworn I told you it would be a mistake on your part if you bothered her ever
again!”
-
Jake looked like he was about to flip out. The hatred in his eyes was very visible.
“Who the hell do you think you are telling me that I can‟t see her? You have no
right and this is none of your business. So stay the hell out. It is between me and
her.”
“That is where you are wrong my friend. There is no more you and her. That
ended when you decided to rape her. So how about you leave now before I have to
call the cops and report what you have done. The fact that you are now harassing
her isn‟t going to be to good for you.”
Jake look defeated. He didn‟t want to deal with the police, obviously and he was
shocked that someone besides me and him knew about what happened.
“This isn‟t over Bella. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I
will never forgive myself for the mistakes I have made in the past week.”
“Jake, don‟t bother, I don‟t want anything to do with you. Please don‟t try. If you
truly care for me as you claim you do. Leave me alone. Stay away from me.
Please.”
“I won‟t Bella, I can‟t. I will give you space. But I won‟t let twenty two years of life
together just be gone. You‟re my best friend.”
26
“I was your best friend. You killed anything we had together the other night. I
want nothing more to do with you. Now please leave me alone.” With that I shut
the door and sat on the floor. Putting my face I my hands I started to cry.
A minute later I felt Edward sit next to me and slowly put his arm around my
shoulder. I needed to be held again. I needed to feel comfort. Without hesitation I
twisted my body so that I could wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face
in his shoulder. I cried into his shirt and screamed.. muffled by his body. He just
held me closer to him rubbing my back. Repeating over and over “I am here, it is
going to be alright.”
We sat like that for what seemed like ages, but finally my tears stopped and I
pulled back to look at him. “Thank you. You have no idea how much you mean to
me. I can‟t tell you how much I appreciate everything you have done.”
He looked back at me with a serious look. “I will always be here for you if you
want me to Bella.”
With that he hugged me again and kissed the top of my head. Which caused me to
shiver, and not a bad shiver. Something about him was so calming and loving.
But in no way was I even ready to think like that. I don‟t know why but I know
that I needed him. I wanted to never be without him.
Finally we stood and grabbed the last of my things. I took another look around
making sure I had everything so that I didn‟t have to come back here again. Once
we were out of the dorms, we loaded the rest into his car and headed to his place.
We unpacked my stuff in two trips and I sat on the bed in the room that would
now be mine. I couldn‟t believe how everything in the past week had gone from
good to bad to worse to okay.
-
I was now ready to try to get past this. To work on my life, I had time now, I had
someone who wanted me to be around. Who didn‟t know about everything in my
life. Who wanted to be my friend. Who needed me and I needed him. So I
planned on seeing this through, to see what came from it. I knew that as long as
Edward was by my side, I could get through this.
~*~
27
Chapter Five
EPOV
As I was driving back to my apartment with Bella in tow I couldn‟t help but be
pissed. The balls of this guy, to do this to her, such a caring and sweet person, his
best friend no less. Then to act as though she owed him something, that she was
some how blowing this out of proportion. He obviously needed to have his head
examined.
Bella was silent for the ride and I knew even though she had thanked me, that she
some how felt that she was causing me problems. When really, she was helping
me more then she could ever know. For the first time really, in my life, I felt like I
had a purpose. That I wasn‟t just Emmett‟s artsy brother, or Alice‟s super hot
brother that all her friends tried to date, or the Cullen‟s talented son. I was
helping someone attempt to get over something. I had saved someone‟s life.
I glanced over at Bella and she just stared silently out the window, seeming to
wave goodbye to a part of her life that would never be the same. Yet I had a plan,
a plan to show her that her life wasn‟t over. That she would get through this, get
over this and have a wonderful happy and full life. I only hoped that I would
continue to be part of it. I knew from the feelings I had started to have towards
her that I could care less how big of a part I was going to be. All I knew is that I
wanted to be there in any way, shape or form.
We had finally gotten back to my apartment and started to unload the car. She
still hadn‟t said a word and I was starting to worry that any progress I had made
with her last night was starting to fade. She looked on with the most lifeless
expression in her face. Like at any moment she would disappear having decided
to follow through with her original plan. I had to do something and do it fast or I
was going to have to break my promise and fight her to keep her here… to keep
her safe.
“Bella, you‟re okay right?”
She gave me a “hmm” but didn‟t look up from the ground as she carried her
things into the building. We reached the elevator and I pushed the button. The
car was at the top floor so we had a few seconds to wait.
-
“Bella, look at me” I said to her but still nothing. I placed the bags I had in my
hand on the ground and lifted her chin with my hand.
28
“Bella, it‟s alright. You‟re going to be alright. I promise. I won‟t let him hurt you.
Do you understand?”
“You can‟t promise that Edward. I have never seen him act like this in all our life
together. It is like something snapped and he isn‟t even the same person. You
can‟t be with me every minute. You heard him. He isn‟t going to stop trying to
talk to me… what if he catches me alone? Wh...what am I...go...going...” She
started sobbing.
I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could. Her entire body was trembling
and I tightened my grip on her to hold her together.
“Bella, I swear to you on my life, I will do everything in my power to make sure he
never touches you again. I know it is hard for you, what I am about to say, but
please trust me on this. If he so much as breathes the same air as you in a 10 mile
radius I will kill him.” I tried to say this in my toughest voice. To get the point
across but I was 100 percent serious.
“Classes are almost over, and then you won‟t have to worry about going anywhere
without me. I swear and I will do my best to walk you to every place you need to
go. When we get upstairs we can check out our schedule, okay?” As I said this the
doors to the elevator opened and we loaded the bags into it. She still looked
worried and I tried to comfort her as much as I could on the short ride up to my
floor.
We walked into the apartment and I set the bags in her room and went to mine to
find my schedule. I went back into her room and asked her to pull out hers. I sat
at the desk looking it over and was relieved to find that there was only one class
that I would be unable to pick her up from. Everything else was in close distance
to each other and would be no problem to walk her to and from classes.
“See, look… you won‟t be alone Bella. I can do this. We can leave together every
morning and come home together every night. Just this one class. We will figure
something out, okay. Don‟t worry about it. I will be there until you feel safe. Until
you don‟t need me anymore, I will be there for this, okay?”
She looked at me with tears flowing freely from her eyes and slightly shaking her
head.
-
She spoke no louder than a whisper.
“I just don‟t understand.” she said as she brought her knees to her chin, resting
her head on them. “Why do you care so much? Why are you trying so hard to
keep me safe? I assure you that it isn‟t worth it. If you‟re waiting for some
29
amazing thing to happen, I can tell you it won‟t. I am really, truly, not that
special.”
“And you don‟t see your self too clearly, Bella. I am doing this because I feel that I
am the only one who sees you for what you really are. I will make you see that. I
will make you see just how special you truly are.” with that I stood. “Stay here, I
will get the rest of your things from the car. Start to make yourself at home. This
is your home now Bella, for as long as you want it to be. So please, make yourself
comfortable.” with that I left to retrieve the bags.
Once I was outside at the car again I felt my phone going off in my pocket. I
reached in and pulled it out, flipping it over to see who it was. I gave a sigh, not
anyone I wanted to talk to right now. As much as I loved my parents, I knew they
would be able to tell from the tone in my voice something was up and I didn‟t feel
like having this conversation right now. Not to mention the wave of guilt that
suddenly flashed over me as I thought of what I almost did. How it would have
killed my mother. How my father would have tried to rack his brains for reasons
of how I could do such a thing. Alice who would have been completely crushed.
My little, tiny pixie sister, so normally full of life, would have been crushed. The
bouncing happy Alice wouldn‟t be the same for a long while. Emmett, my loud
jokester brother, his booming laughter would be silenced. And Rosalie and
Jasper, who were just as much a part of my family as my siblings, would be
devastated. I didn‟t think of them at all when I had made my choice to kill myself.
I was selfish and I had only thought of me, and a new wave of depression claimed
me as I thought of each and every one of my family members robbed of their
bright, loving personalities all because of me.
I clicked it so that the phone went to voicemail, I just couldn‟t speak to them now.
With the last of Bella‟s things I made my way back to the building. What a fool I
had been to think that no one would care that I was gone. What a selfish prick I
had been to only think of me in this situation. What a stupid reason to do what I
was going to do. When people had far worse problems than I did. Like -
Bella, she hadn‟t a soul left in the world and she had been through something
terrible. She at least had an excuse to think about it. I had tons of family and
friends and support. I was an idiot.
I made my way back into the apartment and dropped Bella‟s things in her room. I
was glad to see she had listened to me and had started to make herself some what
at home. She was in the middle of putting things away, and while still visibly
upset I could see a small hint in her big brown eyes that her spirits were up. Even
if only a bit, it still mattered.
30
“Hey, Bella, what do you want to do tonight?” I asked while leaning against her
door.
“Nothing, if…if you have plans you don‟t have to worry about me. I will be fine
here alone.” She got that look of “I am such a burden” on her face and I had to
stop her there.
“No, I don‟t have any plans tonight. That is why I wanted to see what you were
doing tonight. I thought maybe we could hang out. Watch a movie, order some
pizza?”
“Seriously, you don‟t have to babysit me Edward, I am okay. I promise.” This was
going to take so long to make her realize that I liked her being here.
“Movie and pizza it is.” There is no point arguing with her. She would never just
accept that I wanted to be here.
“So what do you like on your pizza?”
“It doesn‟t matter Edward, I will eat anything?” she said not wanting, yet again,
to seem a pest.
I sighed “So extra garlic, onions and anchovies it is then.” I said with a slight
smile.
She looked up at me and opened her mouth to speak. Then she snapped it shut
and looked at the floor.
-
“Really, I never thought I would meet a girl who would love that combo.” I turned
to go order the pizza when she spoke.
“Umm… Edward, I really don‟t want to bother you, but umm… Is that really what
you eat on your pizza?” I tried to hold in my chuckle because I had finally got her
to the point to speak up.
“Oh yea, I even request that they dump the juice the anchovies sit in on top of the
pizza so that the full flavor can cook in. Kind of like really cheesy, garlic, fish
pizza.”
“Oh!” The look on her face was priceless.
“Are you ok with this pizza Bella?” she just nodded her head slowly and I started
to walk once again. She let me get to the phone when all the sudden she came into
the room.
“Edward can you please not put that on the pizza? Please??” I stifled a laugh.
31
“Well, if you really don‟t want it on there… What do you suggested instead?”
“Can we go with something traditional, like, oh double cheese and pepperoni?”
she said twisting her hands together, like she was afraid I wouldn‟t like that.
“Oh sure, that sounds great! I will place the order. Go pick out a movie and get
what you need done…and then I will set up, okay?” She nodded and went back to
her room.
Forty five minutes later the delivery man arrived and I took the pizza to the table
in the living room. I handed a paper plate to Bella, and went to grab drinks and
pop in the movie. I looked at the movie and was actually happy. I had been
wanting to see „Juno‟ but hadn‟t had a chance.
-
We sat on the couch together watching the movie, eating our pizza and laughing.
I loved that Bella had a silly sense of humor, that she was actually letting her
guard down a bit and was laughing and even smiling. Though only for brief
moments, it was still something.
“You know,” She started “I really want a cheeseburger phone now. I wonder
where on earth someone finds a phone that looks like a freaking burger.” I had to
laugh because I too wondered where the heck they found a cheeseburger phone
for this movie.
“Well then, we will have to find one won‟t we? I think it would really bring your
room together. Nothing says home like a fast food item you can talk on.”
She smiled and rested her head against my shoulder. We sat the rest of the movie
in silence.
Eventually I noticed that her breathing had become deep and even and I glanced
down to see that she was asleep, on me… again. So I grabbed the cover off the
back of the couch and threw it over us. Wrapping my arm around her and
rubbing soft circles on her back.
I rested my head on the top of hers and whispered “You will be happy again Bella,
I promise. You deserve nothing but the best.” with that I kissed the top of her
head and drifted off to sleep.
~*~
32
Chapter Six
EPOV
Two weeks and about twenty phone calls from Jake later, Bella finally seemed to
be settling in nicely. We had formed a nice little routine. We had breakfast
together every morning, and then we would head off to classes and work. At the
end of the day we would come home and have dinner and movie time. We talked
about anything and everything, getting closer and closer. She was smiling more
and more and was becoming a much happier person. It was nice to see. Though
this didn‟t come without its bad times. I would catch her, every so often, off in her
own world with a depressed expression on her face. I knew she must be thinking
over the things that had happened. Her life and the events that led her to where
she was now. She never did tell me what she was thinking and I didn‟t ask. I
thought with time she would start to open up if she needed.
Most nights I would be woken up by her screaming in her sleep and I would run
to her room to find her sobbing at whatever dream she had just had. I would sit
with her and comfort her until she fell back asleep. I would leave a little after I
was sure she was okay. I didn‟t want her to wake up in the morning, with me in
her bed, and feel awkward.
Classes were almost over and summer was approaching. We had made plans to
just hang out together, to be with each other all summer. We both still had things
we needed to heal from. While the one issue that I had was slowly healing, I still
had the issue with what I was going to do with my life. I still had no clue and the
grades I am sure would be coming at the end of the semester were not going to
help any. I knew that I needed to figure something out, but I didn‟t want to think
about that now. Then there were the constant incoming phone calls and messages
left by various friends and family. I just could not talk to them right now, the
thought alone made me breakdown. I didn‟t want to hear what they had to say. I
knew that their words would not comfort me, nor would I be able to fake
happiness for whatever happy news they would surely have. I didn‟t want to come
off rude or unhappy for them and I knew that is exactly what would happen.
Still, something had happened in the past couple of weeks and I was happy about
it. I was starting to have real feelings for Bella and I didn‟t know what to do.
Normally the unknown would throw me into a fit of depression, but because it
was her that didn‟t happen. I knew that it was way too soon for that thought to
ever cross her mind. So much had happened to her and there would be no way
she would be ready for any kind of relationship. But I thought that over the
33
summer, once she had had a few months to put this behind her, that maybe she
would be more open to seeing if something could be made of it, of us.
-
She was the most beautiful person; inside and out, that I had ever met. Her long
chocolate brown hair and piercing brown eyes, her tiny little frame that had
curves in all the right places, and her unique style of clothes which were very
tom-boy like. She was simple. Jeans, t-shirts and beat up converse. She wasn‟t
like any girl I had ever met.
Her personality, although broken, I could see it come through in full force every
now and then. She was so smart and witty. She had a laugh that was beautiful and
musical. Even though I had never heard it fully used, I was betting that I would
love it even more when I did. She was sarcastic and goofy and all those things
seemed to fit her perfectly. She was also stronger than she gave herself credit for.
I knew she felt like she had nothing and she couldn‟t go on, but if she could see
what I saw, that she was fighting to stay alive without even trying. I know she
would smile.
It gave me chills when we would watch movies together and she would snuggle up
to me and rest her head on my shoulder or chest. I know she was doing it out of
comfort, but it still meant the world to me. It meant so much to me that I was
able to help someone, that I was able to make someone happy and that someone
needed me. I wasn‟t a “wheel” to her; I was a friend and someone who was
helping her through something she couldn‟t do alone.
Like every other night we had eaten dinner and were sitting on the couch
watching a movie. She had been resting her head on my shoulder and at some
point fallen asleep. I too drifted off a little while after her and was woken up by
her moving. I thought maybe she was in the middle of another nightmare. She
had gripped me around my waist tighter, and was making little noises, but I
couldn‟t make out if they were worried or scared. I started to rub her back to ease
her out of whatever was going on behind her closed eyes. Suddenly, she tilted her
head up and her lips slightly grazed my neck. I thought she had woken but she
hadn‟t. Her eyes were still shut, and her breathing was still steady and even.
I sat there, unable to move. I could feel the warmth of her breath on my neck and
her soft lips that she was now using to kiss my neck. I was in shock; I had no clue
what to do. I knew if she were awake she wouldn‟t be doing this. So I stayed still
and hoped she would just stop and go back to sleeping silently.
That, however, was not the case. She ran her hand up my chest to my face pulling
it to hers. She was definitely still asleep, but is felt like she was very aware of what
34
she was doing. Then she ran her hand from my face to the back of my head and
pulled it towards her luscious full lips. My heart started to race. I had pictured
kissing her a few times since she had been here…but I knew it was out of the
question. It was still too soon for her.
-
Then she said something that made my heart stop. “Edward kiss me. I want you
to kiss me Edward.” She was dreaming of asking me to kiss her. I couldn‟t believe
it. I didn‟t know what to do. What the hell am I supposed to do?
She decided for the both of us. She pulled my head closer to her face and her lips
made contact with mine. They were so soft and full and she smelled amazing. I
couldn‟t help it, I kissed her back. I knew I shouldn‟t because she was still asleep
and didn‟t know what she was doing, but I couldn‟t help myself. Our mouths
moved together gently. She pressed her body to mine as close as it would go and
instinctively I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could. Her lips parted
and she made a little moan in my mouth. Our tongues were now moving as one,
as her hand on the back on my head grasped at my hair. The kiss started to slow
and she pulled away and moved so that she once again was with her head on my
chest, still completely asleep.
My heart was still racing as I tried to understand what just happened. Did she
really just say my name in her dreaming state? She was dreaming of me, but why?
She was dreaming of me kissing her, what was I supposed to do with that? All
these things were running through my mind. All I wanted to do was wake her up
and ask her. Well, that is not all I wanted to do. I wanted to kiss her again; I
wanted to kiss her forever. I had to stop thinking like that, it was actually leaving
me in a state that I would not want her to wake up and find me in.
So, I did the only thing that I thought smart in this situation. I slowly started to
move out from underneath her. I didn‟t want to; I wanted to stay with her that
close to me for the rest of my life. But I didn‟t know if she would even remember
what she did. I definitely didn‟t want to break her trust in me now...after all we
had overcome. So I decided to go and sleep in my room, away from her and her
dreaming. I have self control, but if she kissed me like that again, I was pretty
sure I wouldn‟t be able to stop myself. It was still too soon and I don‟t think she
would be ready. Then she might feel awkward after and feel the need to go live
somewhere else. Then I would miss out.
All these thoughts rumbled through my head at a mile a minute and I just needed
to get out of there. So I got out from under her finally, and covered her with the
blanket on the couch. I made my way to the bedroom and threw myself on the
35
bed. I really hoped that the kiss wouldn‟t ruin anything. I am glad she was asleep
because I didn‟t want her to remember it. I felt like it might set us back and that
is the last thing I wanted. Finally after what felt like hours, I worried myself to
sleep.
--
I woke up to the bright sun shining through my unclosed window. Everything
that happened last night came rushing back to me. I seriously needed to compose
myself before I went out there to get breakfast. I didn‟t want to act weird and
cause her to worry or to question me. I just wanted things to go as smoothly as
they had been going on. For now at least.
I decided to shower before heading out. I made it fast and slipped on some
clothes and walked down the hall to the front room. She was still asleep on the
couch, so I quietly walked into the kitchen and started to make some coffee and
toast. When I heard her shuffle off the couch and head this way I panicked. I kept
shouting in my head “Stay cool idiot, she will know something is up.” And sure
enough when she walked into the kitchen and said hello, I blew it. I mumbled
something along the lines of “Hey… morning… You too!” a little too eager. She
gave me a sideways glance as if to see if she could read what was wrong.
“Are you okay, Edward?” she asked concerned.
“Uh huh… I‟m good.” was the best I could come up with.
“So when did I go out? Sorry I wimped out on movie night. I must have been
more tired than I thought.”
“No, it‟s okay. I was tired too. You fell asleep about halfway through. You looked
so exhausted; I just thought I would let you sleep.” My face was starting to get
warm as I thought about the kiss.
“Why are you blushing Edward?” she asked looking at me confused.
“Huh?”
“Your cheeks, they are turning bright red, why?” she pushed.
-
“I don‟t know what you‟re talking about. Must be a little hot in here.” Again was
all I could come up with.
“Did something happen? What is wrong with you? You‟re acting strange. Since
when are you so at a loss for words?” she questioned me.
36
“I don‟t know what you‟re talking about. I am fine… I just woke up.” How the hell
was I going to get out of this?
“You‟re lying to me. Don‟t lie to me Edward.” she looked like she was starting to
get upset.
“Don‟t get upset. Sheesh it is nothing.” Wrong answer.
“What is nothing?” she crossed her arms over her chest.
“UGH! Please, I am begging you to drop it, you don‟t want to know.”
“How do you know what I want? Just tell me. Is it me, am I finally becoming a
burden? Are you trying to ask me when I am leaving or something?” she asked
looking a little hurt.
“God no, not at all. Why would you think that? I love having you here.”
“Because you aren‟t acting like you. I have never known you to blush, or be at a
loss for words. Now you‟re bright red and mumbling.” she just stared at me. “Now
please, I am a big girl. What is going on with you?”
“You‟re not going to let this go are you? “ I asked seeing that she was either going
to think I was lying about wanting her to stay, or that she would come up with
some other absurd conclusion, which of course would be wrong.
-
“No. I thought we were here for each other, to talk and stuff. Now you‟re
clamming up on me.”
“Fine, I will tell you. Then you will see why I didn‟t want to tell you. Because I
didn‟t want you to be embarrassed or mad at me.” I sighed. “But I can see you are
only going to play through the worst possible things in your head until you drive
yourself mad.”
“Okay.” was all she said.
I leaned back against the kitchen counter and sighed. I really didn‟t want to do
this, because the truth is, I was afraid she was going to either be so embarrassed
that she would want to leave, or she would be mad at me for not stopping it and
feel violated all over again and still want to leave. Neither had good outcomes.
“You were dreaming last night.” I stated.
“Okay.”
“Do you remember dreaming last night?” I asked her.
37
“Ummm. Nothing comes to mind at the moment. Why?” she asked looking
confused.
“Well you started talking.”
“And.”
“Man…You‟re really making me tell you, aren‟t you?”
-
“Well because I would like to know how me talking in my sleep last night has left
you in such a state of…” she paused as if all the sudden remembering what she
had been dreaming of. “Oh. My. God.” was all she got out before she turned about
five shades of red.
“What did I do?” she looked so embarrassed.
“Nothing too bad, really.” I tried to comfort her.
“By too bad what do you mean? Tell me please.”
“You might have said my name.” I was trying to leave it at that.
“And?” She obviously knew there was more.
“And you might have kissed me.” I mumbled out fast.
She stood there with her mouth opened in a little „O‟ of shock.
“I might have WHAT!” she kind of shrieked louder at the end.
“It isn‟t a big deal, you were having a dream. You didn‟t know what you were
doing. I am sure if you hadn‟t been asleep you would not have made the same
mistake.” I said a bit hurt.
“Edward, I didn‟t mean it like that. I just can‟t believe I did that to you. I am sure
you are a very good kisser. I just feel like I...I don‟t know, I shouldn‟t have done
that. As if you don‟t have enough problems without me. I‟m so sorry. “She was
looking at the floor now.
-
“Bella,” I said walking towards her. I placed my hand on her shoulder and with
the other lifted her chin so that she was looking at me. “Bella, look at me. This is
why I didn‟t want to tell you. I knew you would do this. Think it was something
that you had done wrong. That you were some how bothering me. That is not how
it is. Believe me, really, it didn‟t bother me at all.” I gave her a half smile.
“What do you mean?” she asked looking confused.
38
“Well, I only mean if that is the only way you can bother me, I don‟t ever want
you to stop.” did I seriously just say that?
She looked at me with the cutest smile I have ever seen on her face. “That must
have been some kiss then.” She laughed.
“Oh believe me, it was an amazing kiss. I didn‟t want it to stop, but I was worried
that it was too soon. I didn‟t want you to feel bad or embarrassed this morning.
Lets just say I had to leave the couch and go to my own room because I was afraid
if you kissed me again, I wouldn‟t be able to stop.” gah, it was like word vomit. I
just kept blurting out these things before thinking. I was definitely going to have
to get my filter fixed.
“Oh really?” she asked with the smile still on her face.
“Okay, okay, enough. I am not the one that was dreaming about me out loud.” I
joked.
She gave me a fake hurt look. This was the most I had seen her be silly, be herself.
I really liked it. She looked so beautiful, not that she didn‟t always look beautiful,
but she had a glow to her. It was nice.
“Hey that wasn‟t very nice.” she was blushing now. “Plus you seemed to have
enjoyed yourself very much from the sound of it.”
-
Now I felt my face getting hot
“That is beside the point. I just didn‟t want to tell you because I was afraid you
would not want to live here anymore. I have to admit, I don‟t think I have ever
been this happy. I would hate for you to leave.” I said seriously now.
She gave me a heartfelt smile and threw her arms around me. “As long as you
don‟t mind me, I will be here with you.” my heart went wild again. I wrapped my
arms around her waist.
“Bella, I have realized in the past few weeks that I will always want you here. I
can‟t imagine my life without you here.” as I said that I felt her arms tighten
around me and she buried her head in my neck. We stood there like that wrapped
in each others arms. She lifted her head a bit and then spoke.
“Edward?”
“Yes.”
“You know, I don‟t think it is fair that you got to remember the kiss and I have no
memory of it at all.” She responded shyly.
39
What? She couldn‟t mean what I think she means.
“Ummm, and what do you want me to do about that?” I asked, having an idea
where she could be going. Hoping she was saying what I thought she was.
She took a step closer to me, lightly pressing her small frame against me. Her soft
curves making me shiver as they touched my body. She placed both of her hands
on my chest, not looking up at me, testing to see how I would react. She slowly
ran her hand up my chest to my neck and wrapping her fingers in my hair. Slowly
she lifted her gaze to me.
-
“Kiss me.” she said.
“Are you sure?” I asked. Not because I didn‟t want to. I wanted to, but I didn‟t
want to push something, too fast, or ruin the friendship we had built. I didn‟t
want to break her trust in me.
“Please.” was all she responded with. I thought how hard this must have been for
her to ask. So I would give her what she wanted.
I brought my hand to her face pulling her closer to me. I lightly brushed my lips
against hers, starting out with just chaste pecks. However, that is not what Bella
had in mind. With as much force as her small frame held she threw herself into
the kiss. Deepening it, parting her lips and running her tongue across my lower
lip. The sensations burst through me like a bullet. I hadn‟t been this close to
anyone in forever. I hadn‟t felt so needed or wanted in longer than I could
remember, if ever.
I let my left hand run down to the small of her back, bringing her as close to me
as possible, so much that our bodies felt as one. We kissed for what felt like an
eternity and broke both gasping for breath.
“That was…” she said.
“Wow!” I finished.
We stood there for who knows how long, leaning against the kitchen counter
trying to catch our breath. I knew with that kiss that I wanted her. I wanted Bella
forever. I couldn‟t imagine not having her in my life. I wanted to tell her, but I
was afraid that all this was too soon. Too rushed, and at any minute she would
think that as well. And then in pure Bella fashion she would freak. I couldn‟t let
that happen. I couldn‟t let her talk herself out of this. She would think of the
worse possible scenario and she would come up with reasons why we couldn‟t
work.
40
“What are you thinking about so hard?” her sweet voice broke my train of
thought. I looked at her trying to think about how to go about this.
-
“Huh?” Apparently that was the best my brain could come up with at the time.
“I‟m sorry; I guess we shouldn‟t have done that.” She said sadly as she looked at
the floor.
I was making this awkward. I was giving her a chance to make up anything to
show why it wasn‟t good.
“No, that isn‟t it Bella. I just, I didn‟t want to stop. I don‟t ever want to stop doing
that…with you.” Here it goes. “I loved kissing you, both times. I want it to be
more. I am just afraid that for you it is too soon. I don‟t want you to leave. I want
you to stay here forever. I am afraid that now that we have kissed, now that I have
told you how I feel, you are going to try and think of reasons, any reason why we
can‟t be together.” There I said it.
Bella stood there looking at me, with what could only be described as a look of
shock. I wanted to hit myself…What the hell was I thinking.
“Edward,” I looked at her “You really want me here forever?”
“Yes Bella, always and forever.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” I would never understand why she didn‟t see herself
the way I saw her. She was funny, loving, caring and smart. “Your amazing Bella,
you are so funny and loving and smart. You are beautiful not only outside but
inside as well. You are just amazing. How could I not want you around all the
time?” As I said this tears started to well up in her eyes.
“Bella, don‟t cry I never want to make you cry.” I said as I kissed away the tears
that had fallen from her big brown eyes. “I want you to know how important you
are to me, how much having you hear means to me. I have never felt like this
before and I don‟t want to feel like this with anyone but you.” I thought it -
best to just be honest at this point. The sooner I made her realize just how
amazing of a person she was, the sooner she would be happy.
“Edward, I don‟t know what to say. I just can‟t believe you care so much about
me. I am afraid to let my guard down. I‟m afraid at any moment I am going to
wake up and you are going to be just a dream.”
41
I couldn‟t believe this. It killed me to think that she really believed deep down
that no one could feel this way about her. So, I thought I would prove it was no
dream. Something to make her smile. I decided to just pinch her.
“Ow!” she gasped “Edward, why the hell would you do that?”
“Because, now you know you aren‟t dreaming. That I am here, and that I want
you. Everything I said just now is real, as real as I can get.”
With that she wrapped her arms around me in a hug and squeezed as tight as her
small frame would allow. I rested my cheek on her head and kissed her hair.
We stayed standing like that for an immeasurable amount of time, until finally
she lifted her head and said she needed to get ready for the day. She stretched up
on her tip toes and placed a sweet kiss on my lips and headed off to her room.
I decided that it was time for me to get ready for the day as well. I wanted to do
something special for her. She deserved to have something nice done… And I
would take the day off to plan for a perfect night. I needed to let Bella see just
how amazing she was, and just how amazing it felt to be treated as she should be.
So after walking Bella to class as normal, I took off to plan our night.
~*~
Chapter Seven
BPOV
After Edward left me at the door to my first class I opted to not go in, but to take
a breather and to sort out everything that had happened in the past few hours.
Just thinking of this morning I could feel my face pull into a smile. I couldn't
believe Edward had this type of effect on me. He was amazing. While outward he
was an absolute god, inside he was even more amazing. Kind, gentle, loving,
funny, and shy. There was just something about him. It just didn‟t matter that we
met under less than perfect circumstances. Anyone who would have listened to
half of my issues would have gone running in the other direction before I even
had time to finish the story of my sad life. With Edward, however, it felt like he
was running full speed ahead towards me and all my baggage.
I had walked out of the building and found myself in the courtyard that was
surrounded by the tall stone building that housed my class. It was beautiful out
today, green as could be and the sun shining. Flowers casting a rainbow of colors
42
in every direction. I spotted a huge oak tree that was providing some amazing
shade and no one was around, so I walked over and took a seat, leaning against
the enormous trunk. I closed my eyes, reliving the amazing kiss I shared with
Edward this morning. No one had ever kissed me like that, with so much love and
passion. I felt every emotion that he was feeling at that very moment and it was
intoxicating. I knew then what he meant by never wanting to stop, because of all
the things on my mind up until that moment, not stopping that feeling was the
one that screamed the loudest.
His long fingers running up and down my back, the feeling of his soft, messy hair
in my hands. His amazing rock hard chest pressed against mine, his hands on my
face. Man, who am I kidding, everything that had happened that morning, every
word spoken, every touch felt was amazing. Something I knew I wouldn't be
forgetting anytime soon. I just felt safe with him. I also felt beautiful and amazing
and even happy.
I knew Edward worried that it was too fast, and it probably was. As much as I
loved kissing him and being with him, I knew that I still had a lot of healing left to
do. I knew that I would never forgive or forget what Jake had done to me, but he
was my whole life for so long and I did still love him. I knew that it wasn‟t the
same love that we once had, but after a lifetime with someone you can‟t help but
still have feelings for them, no matter what they have done. But Jake was my
past, and I had a feeling that Edward was my future. There was an undeniable
connection between us. But as much as I wanted to get on with my life and be
with Edward, I knew that I still had issues to deal with. While Edward has been
patient and says he will wait for me, I still don‟t know if I can trust him. I mean,
what if he gets tired of -
waiting, or if I am not all that he thinks I am. I don‟t know if I can open myself up
completely to him just yet, and I don‟t want to give him anything less than all of
me. He deserves all of me.
I don't know how long I had been sitting in the warmth of the spring sun with my
eyes closed reliving every single moment that had happened this morning, but I
was suddenly pulled out of my memories by a voice. A voice that carried not only
amazing memories, but excruciatingly painful ones as well. My eyes sprang open
only to see a very large Jacob standing in front of me.
"Bella, where have you been? I have been trying to get a hold of you. Billy has
even tried. We were both starting to really worry. Since neither of us have heard
anything from you in weeks."
43
I could feel my body tense and I started to panic. I know he couldn't do anything
to me in public, but I had come to fear everything about Jake.
"You know why I am not speaking to you Jake. I have also told you more than
once, that where I am and what I do is no longer any of your concern."
"Bella, are you ever going to let me apologize? I know I can never make anything I
have done up, but you can't do this, you can't just act as if I never existed." He
said with a tone as if he were pleading for me to understand his side.
"That is exactly what I plan on doing Jake. Because to me the Jake I knew and
loved since my childhood is dead. There is no trace of him left. This new Jake is
someone not only do I not know, but I don't care to know. Twenty two years of
life together and in two days Jake, you destroyed every happy memory we might
have had. I am sorry. I don't want anything to do with you. Just leave me alone."
"What about Billy? What am I supposed to tell him Bells, when he ask for you or
what happened to you? You know that you are basically his daughter. He will be
crushed."
-
This was true, Billy was the closest thing to a father I had left. I couldn't be
around Jake though. How was I going to explain that to Billy. I couldn't tell Billy
what his son had done. Not for Jake's sake but for his. Billy wasn't in the best of
health and I wouldn't want to hurt him.
"Well, Jake I don't know what you want me to do about it. I can't very well tell
him the real reason I want nothing to do with you. Why I can't be in the same
room with you with out shaking , feeling fear or feeling physically ill. Now can I?
You brought all this upon yourself. Be a man, tell Billy what you did. Tell him that
you raped the girl he thinks of as a daughter." If he was going to try to hurt me
with guilt I would hurt him with being blunt.
"Bella, I…I... "was all he managed to get out before he froze and I saw anger spark
in his eyes. I took a step back not understanding the sudden shift in his mood.
From practically begging for mercy to pure anger. He was standing a foot or two
away from me staring at something over my shoulder. I took a moment to glance
in that direction to see Edward walking towards us, with a livid expression on his
face.
"Listen, Jake do whatever you want. Let me know what you tell Billy so that I can
keep in touch with him and let nothing slip. I don't want him worrying about
me." I said as I bent over to grab my bag and my book.
44
"Bye Jake." I said as I turned towards Edward to leave. Yet again Jake's anger got
the better of him and I felt his large hand grab my upper arm and yank me back
around to face him. I had no words, I froze.
"Bella, we are going to talk, I am done with you ignoring me like I am nothing."
The look alone in Jake's eyes sent waves of terror down my spine, but I only had a
second for it to register because at that moment I felt a strong arm wrap around
my waist and pull me from Jacob's grip. I was now replaced by Edward standing
where I had been with his hand around Jake's neck, he had slammed him into the
tree I had been leaning against before he found me.
"Edward don't, lets just go!" I didn't want Edward hurt or in trouble over me.
-
"Bella, stay back!" He said and turned his attention back to Jake.
"I have told you on more than one occasion that you were to never talk to her or
touch her again. When will you get it through your head?!"
"Get, your hands off me now!" Jacob said in a deep and hateful voice. He
proceeded to grab Edwards hand from his throat and shove him with force back.
"I will talk to her when I want. You have absolutely no say in what me and her
talk about ever!"
"You will do as I say or the next time, I will call the police. Do I make myself
clear?" Edward said as he bent down to pick up his bag. Turning to me and
cupping my face with his hands he spoke, " Are you alright?"
"I'm fine let‟s just get out." But I was interrupted before I could finish by Jake's
angry booming voice
"Get your hands off of her. Who the Hell do you think you are?" He was in
Edwards face now. Pushing him back. Edward looked as though he was trying not
to hit him. Everything started to spiral from there. Jake pushed him hard again in
the chest and Edward fell back. Edward had had it and came at Jake punching
him square in the mouth. I screamed and tried to grab Edward not wanting him
to get hurt but was knocked to the ground by Jake as he went to return a punch.
Someone came up to help me and pulled me back. As I saw Mike, all of a sudden
reach over and grab Edward, as another guy grabbed Jake.
I ran over to Edward looking over his face and then wrapping my arms around
him saying "sorry" over and over again. I can't believe the trouble I had caused
him. Now I had gotten him hurt.
"Let go of me!" I heard Jake yell "I'm going, Bella this isn't over. We will talk!"
45
"Jake, go the Fuck away!!" I screamed tears pouring down my face, look at the
mess I caused.
Jake turned and left. Edward thanked Mike for helping out and Mike asked if I
was alright. I just nodded.
-
"Bella, it is ok. I promise. I am fine." Edward tried to reassure me. I knew
however that all this was my fault. Edward being such a good guy had gotten hurt
because of me. I knew I shouldn't have tried to be happy earlier. I knew it was to
good to be true. I knew I couldn't do this to Edward. I couldn't bring this into his
life.
I felt Edwards hands on my face wiping away the tears, "Bella, look at me." but I
couldn't bring myself to do it.
I felt his finger lift my chin and he waited for me to look him in the eyes. Finally I
met his gaze and my heart sank. His beautiful face was starting to bruise under
his right eye. It was my fault he was injured.
"Oh god, Edward I am so sorry." As I gently touched the spot under his eyes that
was sure to be black in the morning.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer ,"Bella, it is fine. It was so worth it,
getting to hit that asshole. I promise you I am fine. Are you alright? Did he hurt
you?" I just shook my head. Here he is hurt and he is worried about me. This was
bad I couldn't do this to him.
"I'm fine, I am just worried about you. Let‟s go home so we can clean up your face
okay? He nodded his head and put his arm around my waist.
We walked to the car and got in. As Edward was driving home, I couldn't help but
make a list in my head of all the reasons I needed to leave. What I was doing
wasn't fair to Edward. I felt like I was taking advantage of his kindness and
getting him hurt in the process.
There was of course the reason from this morning to stay. Because with him I was
happy, I was healing.
There was something about Edward that I didn't want to be without. But I knew
that he would be better off if I weren't there. That every reason I had for staying
there seemed selfish, because I had no where else to go, because I needed
comfort, because I was feeling something for him. All selfish. Edward was going
through something much like me, and I had decided in the car ride home that I
wasn't going to be -
46
selfish anymore. Edward needed his life back, and I was going to give it back to
him. How to leave though, was going to be the real problem. I would have to find
a way and soon. I had hurt him enough and this was for the best.
~*~
Chapter Eight
BPOV
By the time we made it home, Edward‟s eye looked horrible and it was all my
fault. If it weren‟t for me, he wouldn‟t have tried standing up to Jake and gotten
hurt. We walked in the door and I told him to go sit on the couch while I looked
for something in the freezer to put on his eye. I grabbed a bag of frozen corn and
went and sat next to him on the couch.
“Edward, I am so sorry. This never should have happened.” I said as I placed the
bag on his eye. He jumped slightly from the cold but then relaxed again.
“Bella, this isn‟t your fault. It is his fault. If he would have just stayed away then
none of this would have happened. Stop saying sorry for something you have no
control over. You didn‟t do anything wrong.”
“This is going to look really nasty tomorrow, Edward” I said lifting the bag off his
eye to see if it was helping at all, which it wasn‟t.
“It‟s a bruise, it will go away. I am just glad you‟re okay.” He said as he grabbed
my hand, causing me to stop looking at the damage to his perfect face, and meet
his amazing green eyes. “I don‟t know what I would have done if he had hurt you
again.”
“I am fine, I promise. He didn‟t hurt me.”
“I feel awful, I was running late, I am so sorry. If I would have been there on time
he probably wouldn‟t have even seen you there.”
I shook my head, there it was, the reason why I had to leave. He was going to beat
himself up over nothing. Something that he shouldn‟t even have to be worrying
about in the first place.
-
“Edward,” I moved my hand to his face “You can‟t be with me twenty-four seven.
I am a big girl. I was in a crowded area; he would have done this with you there or
47
not.” I was rubbing his cheekbone with my thumb and lifted my hand to brush his
messy hair out of his face.
“I know that Bella. Still doesn‟t change the fact that when I saw him there with
you, my heart sank. The expression on your face was full of fear. I don‟t ever want
you to feel like that.”
“Thank you for caring about me. You have no idea how much it means to me.” I
leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek. When my lips made contact with his
skin there was an amazing sensation that caused me to freeze. Edward stiffened
as if he felt it to. I felt his hand come around the back of my head and knot in my
hair. As if to slowly judge my reaction, he removed the thawing bag of corn and
turned his head inching his lips towards mine. Finally we were face to face, noses
touching, he was staring at me so deeply I thought he could see every emotion I
was feeling. I brought my hand to the side of his face and he leaned into it. He
lightly brought his lips to mine. They were so soft, so warm, I wanted more. In
that moment the days events had been forgotten and this moment was the
moment I wanted. I shifted myself so that we were now pressed chest to chest,
wrapped in each others arms. My lips parted and he deepened the kiss. The
sensation was something I would never be able to describe. My hands moved to
the collar of his shirt gripping it and pulling him as close as possible. One of his
hands gripped the back of my head as the other rested on my lower back.
I don‟t know how long we had been wrapped up is this breathtaking moment, but
soon as if on cue we both broke apart at the same time. Both gasping for much
needed air. Not wanting to lose the comfort of Edwards embrace I rested my
forehead against his as we both struggled to calm ourselves. When I glanced at
him his eyes were closed, as if trying to not lose the feeling of what we had just
done.
“Edward, I think I should go to bed.” I said still breathless.
“I think I need a shower.” he chuckled.
We stood up and he pulled me into an embrace and kissed the top of my head. I
felt so much love from just that little gesture then I think I had ever felt in the
years since my parents died.
I walked into my room and closed the door. Even though the last hour or so was
amazing, I still planned on leaving. It was what was best for him. So with that set
I started packing my things.
~*~
48
EPOV
In some what of a daze still after that kiss, I made my way to my room to gather
stuff for the shower. I just couldn‟t get the image of kissing Bella out of my head.
The way she smelled, tasted, felt. All ran though my head in the most perfect
detail, that I would surely not be forgetting that anytime soon.
This had to mean she was healing, I hoped at least that is what it meant. Each day
that had passed I needed her more and more. If this didn‟t mean anything to her
and she eventually left, then I would be so broken. The longer she was here, the
closer I grew to her, and the more I fell for her. I don‟t know if my heart could
handle it if she ever left. But she seemed to be doing well, so hopefully that day
would never come.
I was so happy and pissed at the same time. Pissed because that jackass of an ex
showed up today yet again threaten to mess up the progress Bella had made in
these last week. Pissed that I had actually had to get physical with him, he really
wasn‟t worth the time. Happy because it didn‟t seem like Bella‟s encounter with
Jake had hurt her healing any. If anything she seemed more determined to get
passed it and forget it. Maybe that meant that what I was doing was really
working. For once I felt like I mattered to someone who wasn‟t bound by blood.
Just as I was about head to the bathroom my cell rang and I picked it up looking
at the caller ID. Again, I refused to answer. So far today I had received a call from
everyone I knew. Now Emmett was trying to get through and I wasn‟t answering.
I sent it to voicemail. I wanted nothing to ruin this moment of happiness.
I headed to the shower and while I was scrubbing my hair I kept thinking of the
surprise I had planned for Bella tomorrow. I had used all the free time I had to
make sure it was something special. I had never shared this part of myself with
anyone other than my family, and I was actually very nervous to share this with
her. To be so vulnerable. But she had shared so much with me and so therefore I
had to chance it. Tomorrow needed to be prefect. I needed to show her just how
much she meant to me.
~*~
BPOV
I woke up and saw that the clock read eight am. I had stayed up until one in the
morning packing up everything and then putting it in the closet so that if Edward
happened to come in he wouldn‟t notice anything different.
I walked out to go to the kitchen and knew that he was awake from the smell of
coffee coming from the kitchen. I rounded the corner to find him leaning up
49
against the counter. He was staring out into space and when he heard the shuffle
of my feet he snapped his head in my direction and smiled.
“Morning.” I said, still a little groggy.
He flashed a crooked smile my way and reached behind him to grab a cup and
handed it to me.
“Good morning to you too. Cream and sugar right?” nodding towards the coffee
in his hand.
“Yeah, how ever did you know?” I replied, smiling at him.
I went and stood next to him resting my head on his shoulder. He in turn leaned
in, and as he did yesterday, kissed the top of my head. I closed my eyes, hating
myself for what I was going to do today. A part of me screaming “stop being so
stupid Bella, he wants you here”... but I had to put that part of me aside, because
leaving was what was best for him, and it was time I stopped being selfish.
“So, what are your plans for today?” he asked me.
Here it goes. “I think I am going to just stay home today. I have a migraine and I
think I am just going to sleep and try to make it go away.”
“I am sorry. You have any pain meds? I can check here, if not I can run and pick
some up for you.”
-
“No, I will be okay. I have some in my room and it will be nice to be here with no
noise… hopefully it will make it go away faster.”
“You sure? Hey, I could stay here today if you want. Wait on you.” He gave me a
smile.
“No! I mean, no don‟t be silly. You have to go to class. I have had migraines
before, it will go away. I promise.”
His face fell a little, but then he perked up.
“You promise to call me then if you need anything, okay? I mean it.”
“I promise.”
“Well okay then. I need to go get ready to leave. I will call you later to see how
you‟re doing.”
“Okay.”
“By the way, I have something for you tonight. So make sure you rest and get to
feeling better.”
50
“What is it?”
“Don‟t worry about it. It is a surprise, just leave it at that. You will find out
tonight.” He said as he walked to his room to get ready.
-
Oh god, what was I doing? He had something planned for tonight and I wasn‟t
going to be here to see it. It was going to crush him. He has been so happy with
me here. But I was causing problems that weren‟t his to deal with. He felt the
need to protect me and that wasn‟t his job. He was hurt because of me, and I
couldn‟t let that happen again.
Just then Edward walked back out of his room, grabbing his car keys and coming
over to me.
“So, I will see you tonight okay? Don‟t forget to call me if you need anything. I will
bring it by. You promised.” He smiled at me.
He gave me yet again another kiss on the head and turned to walk away. What I
did next I guess I did because it was the last time that I was going to see him. He
meant so much to me and I wanted to feel that happiness and comfort one last
time.
“Edward wait!” I ran up to him. Throwing my arms around him and crashing my
lips into his. He must have been in shock because he stood there for a moment
before wrapping his arms around me and kissing me back. It wasn‟t as long as the
others, but the emotion that I felt the other times was still present. After breaking
the kiss I looked into his eyes.
“Thank you for everything; you don‟t know how much it means to me.” I kissed
him again on the lips, gave him a hug and stepped back.
Edward looked confused for a moment before he gave me a smile and then said
goodbye. Being the last time I would see him, I started to cry once the door was
shut. I sat on the couch telling myself over and over that this was right, that this
was for him. My drama was just too much to allow someone as good as Edward
be pulled into.
After a while I knew it was time to go. I finished packing up the things in my
room that I had left out so as not to draw attention to something being up. I also
had to leave him a letter. Letting him know why I had to leave. I didn‟t want him
to think he had done anything wrong. I sat down and grabbed a piece of paper
and tried to make this as painless as possible.
-
51
Edward,
I want you to know that I appreciate everything you
have done for me. You saved me Edward, and I will never
be able to thank you enough. However, with everything
that has happened with Jake, I have come to realize that
this isn’t fair to you at all. This is not your problem and it
is selfish of me to continue to burden you with this. I
want you to know that you are a kind and loving person
Edward. No one else would have done for me what you
did. I will forever remember you as the most amazing
person I know. If I remained here I would do nothing but
bring you down. I am not good enough for you. I regret
nothing that happened between us. It has nothing to do
with why I am gone. It actually made it harder for me to
leave because I adore you. I wish you nothing but
happiness.
Thank you again for everything,
Bella
I folded the paper and wrote his name on it. Tears were filling my eyes as I kissed
the paper and placed it on the dining room table. I grabbed my bags and walked
to the door. Turning to commit the home to memory, the memory of the place
where my life was saved by Edward. I walked into the hallway and closed the
door. The tears that I had been holding back finally making their appearance. I
removed the key from my chain and locked the door. Sliding it underneath his
door so that he would get it when he got home. After taking one more moment I
walked away leaving Edward behind.
I made it to my car and was packing the last of my stuff into the trunk when I
heard a car pull up behind me. The door opened and shut as I shut my trunk. I
ignored it walking to the driver side door and reaching the handle to open it, I felt
someone grab my wrist. I screamed in shock and turn around to face whoever it
was who grabbed me.
I found myself face to face with none other than Edward. His expression was a
mixture of hurt, anger, and sadness.
I leaned back against the car and he released my wrist as I pulled my hands to my
face sobbing. He didn‟t speak at first; he stood there looking at the ground.
Looking as though he would start crying himself at any moment.
Finally he spoke.
-
52
“I am sorry. I rushed things didn‟t I? You weren‟t ready for what I told you. I am
so sorry. You don‟t have to leave I will drop it. We can forget it ever happened.
Please Bella, just friends…I promise.” He now had tears filling his eyes.
I threw my arms around him holding him tight to me. “Edward that isn‟t why I
am doing this, it has nothing to do with that. Please believe me. You have made
me so happy.” I was still crying.
He pulled away enough to look me in the eyes. ”Then why? What is wrong? I
thought things were getting better, you seemed happier.”
“I was happier. Happier than I have been in a long time. That was all because of
you. I had such a hard time making this decision. I was fighting with myself the
whole time because I wanted to stay and be with you. But the other part of me
told me what I am doing is wrong, it is selfish. Look at you.” I touched his bruise.
“Look what happened to you because of me. You shouldn‟t have to deal with this.
Because of me you got hurt. Because of me you have some random chick with
huge problems living in your home. Having to deal with her crazy rapist ex-
boyfriend. Why on earth would you want that?”
He shook his head. “Bella, do you want to leave? Forget the things you just
mentioned. Do you want to leave and not see me again?”
“No, Edward of course not. You are the only thing I have in my life at the moment
that brings me happiness.”
“Then stay. Forget everything else. Bella, if I thought for one moment that you
were a burden I would tell you. I stuck up for my friend, someone I care about. It
is what I do. Because it is what friends are supposed to do. Not because I have to,
but because I want to.”
“But you already have so much on your mind, and my problems shouldn‟t be your
problems.”
-
He took my face in his hands and spoke to me while staring into my eyes. “Bella,
if things with you go the way that I hope they do. Your problems are mine, my
problems are yours... They will be ours. Please, stop thinking that you are
bothering me, you aren‟t. Jacob has already caused you so much pain and sorrow;
please don‟t let him take away this new found happiness. Now pop the trunk and
let‟s get your stuff back in your room.” He walked back the trunk and waited.
“But Edwa...” He cut me off.
“Bella, do you want to stay with me?”
53
“You know I do but...” he cut me off again.
“That is all that matters then. So come on, I still have something for you tonight.”
With that I gave in and popped the trunk, helping him carry my stuff back to my
room.
~*~
EPOV
After leaving the house today I knew something felt off. I couldn‟t put a finger on
it. I made it to work and sat in the parking lot, debating with myself over whether
I was being paranoid or if something was really off with how Bella was acting
when I left.
My paranoid side won out and I left the parking lot making my way back home.
As soon as I got in sight of my apartment I knew I was in for it. I could see Bella
putting bags in her trunk. I pulled up to the spot behind her, she didn‟t look back.
I got out of the car and she made her way to get into hers. As she reached for the
handle I grabbed her wrist. My heart felt like it was slowly and painfully being
torn apart. She was leaving, I fucked up, I pushed her too fast and now she was
uncomfortable and she was leaving.
-
I could feel the water welling up in my eyes. This was so painful. I wanted to
know why; I wanted her to know I was sorry for pushing her. She let me know
that it wasn‟t that. I made her happy. My heart felt like it was going to burst with
happiness when she said I made her happy, and she didn‟t really want to leave
me.
We had gotten all her stuff back to her room and she was putting things away. I
went to the kitchen to get something to drink and I noticed a letter addressed to
me. So I opened it and read it…
How could she think that she wasn‟t good enough? Really it was the other way
around. I was a bumbling mess most of the time. If anyone wasn‟t good enough, it
was me.
I was thinking of how I could make her see just how good she was. Then I
remembered my surprise. I remembered a song from a CD Alice had bought me. I
went to my room and dug through CD‟s that I didn‟t listen to often and found the
song I was looking for.
54
I put it in and it happened to be the live version, it was perfect for what I needed.
I could learn this in enough time.
~*~
BPOV
As I was putting my things away, I was thinking of what happened with Edward
downstairs. How he looked, the tears filling his eyes, the hurt plastered across his
face. It killed me to know that I had hurt him like that. I would give anything to
never see him that upset again. I can‟t believe I did that. I can‟t believe he cares
for me so much that the thought of me leaving brought him to tears. I had never
seen a man cry before and it broke my heart.
Edward said he had some surprise for me and I wasn‟t looking forward to that.
Not that I wasn‟t grateful that he would go to the trouble to do something nice for
me. But I have never been good at having people fuss over me. Even more so,
having Edward fuss over me. He has already done so much for me that adding to
it with some sort of surprise tonight was just too much.
Edward did nothing but focus on helping me get through this situation and I have
done nothing to help him get through his. I decided that after tonight, we were
going to stop focusing on me, and start -
focusing on him. I had a feeling that from this point on, any hurt felt by one of us
the other would feel it too. No one would heal that way. So tomorrow starts
Edward's healing.
I walked out of my room and called for him.
“I am in my room.” he yelled from down the hall.
I walked in and he was sitting on his bed and wrapping up his iPod.
“Sorry, I didn‟t mean to bother you.”
He rolled his eyes and patted the bed for me to sit. ”Bella how many times do I
have to remind you that you are never bothering me and please stop apologizing.”
I blushed and pointed at his iPod.
“What were you listening to?”
“Nothing really, couldn‟t focus.”
“Edward I am sorry about today. I didn‟t mean to upset you, and to make you
think that me leaving was because of what has happened between us.”
55
“Don‟t worry Bella it is fine. I just really enjoy having you here, I care about you. I
didn‟t want to think of you not being here anymore.”
-
I leaned over to wrap my arms around him. “You really are an amazing person,
you know that right?” He flashed me a semi-smile and kissed my cheek. After the
hell I had put him through today, I thought he deserved more. So I placed my
hand on the side of his face and pulled his lips towards mine. It didn‟t matter that
this wasn‟t the first time we had kissed, it still felt like it was. Our lips moving
together sent the most spine tingling sensation through my whole body. The way
his hands felt on me, the way he tasted, the warmth radiating from all over I
couldn‟t get enough. I had never felt anything like this when I kissed Jacob. It was
like Edward‟s lips were made for mine.
I don‟t know what caused me to do it, I knew I was in no way ready for it, but I
nudged Edward so that he would lay down on the bed. I think I really just wanted
to be closer to him. To feel that kind of emotion with him. I knew he wouldn‟t
hurt me, I trusted him with my life. I don‟t know why after all I had been through
I trusted a man that way. But Edward wasn‟t like anyone I had ever known.
Our breathing had both become increased and I moved from kissing his lips to
his neck. He let out a soft moan and I was even more determined to continue. I
ran my hand down his sculpted chest to the hem of his t-shirt he was wearing and
moved it up. He flinched at the sensation of my touch as I ran my hand over his
stomach. He started kissing my neck in return and I couldn‟t hide the sound of
pleasure I released. Every touch, every kiss made me damn near explode. I went
to move my hand lower on him and he froze. He broke from kissing my neck and
grabbed my hand.
“No Bella, it‟s too soon.” he said as he kissed my forehead still a little breathless.
“Edward I want to, I‟m fine.”
“No Bella, your not…It has only been a few weeks. There is no need to rush. I am
here. I am not going anywhere. It can wait. I will wait. But there is no way you are
ready for that. If that does happen between us I want it to happen when there is
nothing wrong. When we are both completely healed and there is nothing that
can mess it up, no regrets.”
“I am fine.”
“Not all the way Bella and I don‟t want any added stress on you. If it is meant to
happen with us, it will happen.” With that he kissed my head and stood up.
-
56
“So are you ready for your surprise?”
“Edward you really don‟t have to do anything for me. You have been doing
everything to help me. I haven‟t done anything to help you. We are supposed to
be helping each other.”
“Bella you are helping me. Being here, trusting me. It is helping me. Now come
on and let‟s go.”
With that we left to go where ever it was that Edward was taking me.
We drove to campus and I was just a little bit confused as to what surprise he
could possibly have for me here. We drove back to a part of campus I had never
been to before. It was the art and music buildings. He parked the car outside the
music building and got out of the car. He came over to my side and opened the
door and helped me out.
“Edward, such a gentleman.” I laughed out loud and he just shook his head and
smiled
“Yeah, Mom taught me well.”
“So, what are we doing here?”
“I am going to show you. Sheesh, you aren‟t patient at all are you?”
“No I am not, mainly because I can‟t figure out why on earth we would be here.”
He opened the doors to the building and led me through a hallway to a dark
room.
-
“Ummm… Edward.”
“Bella, relax…I want to share something with you. You have shared so much with
me and really I haven‟t given you anything of me. So…” he flipped on a light, “I
am going to show you one of my talents.” and he pointed to a beautiful baby
grand piano.
“You can play?” He nodded.
“I have something I want to play for you, could possibly be corny, but I thought
that it would get my point across.” he said with a shy smile. “So sit and listen.
There is a reason I picked this song.”
“Okay.”
He took a seat at the piano and started playing. A beautiful melody started
playing that sounded some what familiar. Then he shocked me with what he
57
started singing, his voice was beyond words. But the lyrics he to the song are what
I noticed most.
Hey your glass is empty
It’s a hell of a long way home
Why don't you let me take you
It’s no good to go alone
I never would have opened up
But you seemed so real to me
After all the bullshit I've heard
It’s refreshing not to see
I don't have to pretend
She doesn't expect it from me
Don't tell me I haven't been good to you
Don’t tell me I have never been there for you
Just tell me why
Nothing is good enough
I got so caught up in the melody and my thoughts about how perfect he was that I
didn‟t pay much attention to the next set of lyrics. I turned my head to look at the
beautiful man sitting next to me. Until this moment he had been facing ahead
with his eyes closed playing and singing this song, but then he turned his head to
look at me as he continue to play perfectly and looked me straight in the eyes,
finishing the song. Tears started to fill my eyes as I understood what he was
saying through the words of the song.
Who’s there that makes you so afraid
You’re shaken to the bone
And I don't understand
You deserve so much more than this
So don't tell me why
He’s never been good to you
Don’t tell me why
He’s never been there for you
Don’t you know that why
Is simply not good enough
So just let me try
And I will be good to you
Just let me try
And I will be there for you
I'll show you why
You’re so much more than good enough
As his fingers came to a stop and the music slowly faded out of the room, he
never broke eye contact with me. He reached his hand up and wiped away the
tears that had escaped my watering eyes and leaned into me and whispered.
58
“You are good enough Bella.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck.
“Thank you.” was all that I could say. I was speechless and I knew that this
moment was something I would never forget and would be a turning point in my
life, in my happiness, and in my relationship with Edward.
~*~
Chapter Nine
EPOV
We sat and talked for over an hour after my surprise for Bella. About family and
life, our childhood. I think we both came to understand each other even better
after that. Why we felt the way we did, and what we had in our life that caused
heartache and problems. We both had happy times, it just seemed as though the
rough patches became overbearing and we were having issues getting past that.
We went to get something to eat where the conversation continued and I found
myself falling for Bella even more. The way she played with her food pushing it
around her plate before actually eating it. Her randomness of needing two straws
to drink instead of one. She said it was something she had done since she was
little and it just stuck. We laughed a lot and she smiled more than I had ever seen
her smile. So full that it reached her eyes and brightened everything about her.
We arrived home and I noticed a familiar car parked out front and I suddenly felt
nauseas. I assume that they had finally gotten tired of hearing my voicemail and
came to talk to me in person. This is not what I needed.
It seemed as soon as things were going good with both me and Bella someone
from our side had to come along and ruin the day. Here were my people to ruin
my day. Bella must have noticed the change in my attitude because she all the
sudden became concerned.
“Edward, what is it? What is wrong?” she said placing her hand on my face.
“Bella, whatever happens, I am sorry.” I said as we stepped out of the car.
“What do you mean? What is going on?”
59
“You are about to meet my family. I don‟t know which ones, only one I know for
sure. She is a handful… but she means well.” Alice, my sweet and loving sister was
one of those people that seemed to be on a twenty four hour sugar high.
-
“Okay, Edward do they know about me?” she asked looking worried.
“No, I haven‟t really talked to them in a while. Part of my problem comes from
feeling like I don‟t fit in with them. So I have been keeping my distance. I think
tonight is them finally getting sick of it and coming to me.”
“Oh, this should be fun then.” she said sarcastically.
“Oh yeah, loads of fun.”
We made our way onto the elevator and stood there in silence as it made its way,
a little too quickly, to our floor. This, I was sure, was not going to be a very
pleasant family reunion.
When the doors opened I took a deep breath, grabbed Bella‟s hand and stepped
out. I knew they had a key to my apartment and were waiting for me. I wanted so
badly to just turn around and hide out somewhere till they left. However,
knowing my siblings and friends, they would wait there as long as they had to, so
it was better to get it over with now.
I went to put the key in the door and before I could even get the key in the
keyhole the door flew open and there she stood the little pixie I knew would be
there. She had her hands on hips and a look on her face that could make grown
men cry.
“Where have you been!?” She asked, impatiently.
“Alice, not now.”
She stood her ground not moving
-
“Alice are we allowed into our apartment, or are you going to make us stand out
here all night?” the plural words seemed to catch her attention and she eased off
looking at Bella.
I looked to Bella who had a timid smile on her face, not sure how she would be
received by the angry sister blocking our path.
“Oh,” she smiled sheepishly “I am sorry, I am Alice… And you are?” she held out
her hand.
60
Bella glanced at me and I rolled my eyes and nodded “I‟m Bella.”
“Well fine, come in, but only because Bella is with you.”
“Thanks so much Alice. I didn‟t realize I had to ask for permission to come into
my own home.”
“Maybe that wouldn‟t be the case Edward, if you knew how to pick up a phone
and listen to your messages.” she said in a low menacing voice. “Maybe taking a
minute or two out of your ever busy schedule to let your loved ones know you are
still alive and kicking.”
“Alice, I am obviously alive and kicking. You see me don‟t you. I am fine.”
I walked around her and stopped, noticing of course, that she wasn‟t alone. It was
silly of me to think that she might come alone.
“Emmett, Rose, Jasper.“ I said flatly.
“Edward, where the hell have you been?” Emmett stood up walking towards me.
“Mom has been flipping out. I had to stop her from calling the police to check on
you.”
“Bella, this is my loud and obnoxious brother, Emmett. His fiancée Rose and
Alice‟s boyfriend Jasper.” I pointed each out. “Guys, this is Bella.” I said lifting
my hand which was still entwined with hers.
-
They all sat there looking as if they hadn‟t noticed her until I introduced her.
Bella tugged on my hand causing me to look at her. “Maybe I should go to my
room and let you all talk.” she whispered.
I leaned down to her ear “No, please stay.”
“You sure, you don‟t want to catch up alone. I don‟t need to intrude on family
matters.”
“Bella, stay.”
“Fine, I am just going to get something to drink.” she said as she released my
hand. She turned to look at the others asking if they wanted anything to drink.
When they all answered no she made her way into the kitchen and they all turned
their focus back onto me.
“So, why have we heard nothing of her?” Alice asked.
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“She is HOT!” Emmett added in his usual fashion. “Who is she? And why have
you been hiding her?” I heard a loud smack as Rosalie hit him in the back of the
head.
“That is Bella. She lives here with me and she is a friend.”
“How long has she been living here Edward?” Alice asked.
“A little over a month.”
-
The look on all their faces was that of shock. I felt as though I was about to be
given a lecture.
“Why have we not heard anything about her until today?” Alice questioned.
“Because, Alice, I didn‟t realize I had to ask your permission to move someone
into my apartment. I didn‟t think I needed to clear my life with you first.” I
answered a little harsh.
Alice was taken aback by the tone of my voice and Jasper went to put his arm
around her.
“What is with you, Edward? Is this chick the reason you have decided that your
family and friends are no longer important?” Jasper asked.
“NO!” I said trying to level my voice. “Why on earth would you jump to that
conclusion?”
Rose spoke this time. “Because, we haven‟t heard from you in over a month.
Never have you gone this long without talking to someone. Even your parents.
Everyone was freaking out. It is like you fell off the face of the earth.”
“Now we come here to find you living with some girl we have never even heard
you speak of. It‟s not like you, little bro, what‟s going on?” Emmett asked.
“This, right here is why I haven‟t talked to anyone. I don‟t want to be
interrogated. I don‟t need to explain my actions to you. I have a life, shit. I have
been busy with school and work and spending time with Bella. I am sorry if it
doesn‟t fit into your schedule, but this is my life. I have enough problems with
you all coming here uninvited like some form of Edward intervention.”
Everyone just stared at me wide eyed and said nothing.
-
At that moment Bella appeared around the corner, she had heard everything that
had been said and looked a little upset.
62
“Edward, I am going to go. I will go down to the coffee shop around the corner.
This is a family thing; I don‟t need to be here.”
“No Bella, this is your home, they are leaving.”
“WHAT?!” They said in unison.
“I am not leaving Edward, we are not finished talking.” Alice said.
“We are finished talking.”
Bella interrupted. “Edward they are worried about you. Talk to them.”
“Bella,” I spoke in almost a whisper to her, so they wouldn‟t hear “They won‟t
make anything better. They will only make it worse. It is always about them.”
“Excuse me, what did you just say?” Alice said now coming at me. “What will we
only make worse. We are your family Edward, what is wrong with you?”
“Edward what the hell is your deal man?” Emmett asked now walking towards
me as well.
“See this, this is my problem. You all don‟t know when to leave shit alone. If I
wanted you here, if I wanted your input I would have called back. I would have
answered the phone. But you all don‟t help me. All you ever do is make me feel
worse than I already do. I need time, time away from you. I don‟t need to see your
perfect lives and be reminded what a shitty life I have. I don‟t need to hear about
your perfect wedding to the perfect woman.” I said pointing at Emmett. ”I don‟t
need to hear about your awesome dream internship.” nodding towards Alice. ”I
don‟t need to hear about how perfect everything -
is working out for you all, when nothing is going right for me. I don‟t need you
rubbing in your happiness. Instead of doing something like this which is going to
hurt all your feelings…I took a break… But you couldn‟t let it go. Things always
have to be you way or now way. Now everything that I have been feeling that
should have been filtered out because it has been built up so much is coming
out…And I can‟t take it back. So now we can add to making me feel bad to the
list.” With that I stormed out of the room and slammed the door to my bedroom
throwing myself on my bed.
I would never be able to take those things back. It is exactly what I had been
trying to avoid and instead it is now all out there in the open and I have hurt the
ones I loved.
~*~
63
BPOV
Everything Edward had kept bottled up seemed to spew from his mouth at that
very moment. In the month I had been here, not once had he raised his voice or
seemed so upset. I stood there, shocked to see this side of Edward. My heart
broke for him because I knew what type of person he was. I knew that he would
regret saying all that later and he would beat himself up over it.
I turned to look at the others in the room and Alice had tears in her eyes. From
what Edward had told me, they were all so close and I doubt that he had ever
spoken to them in that way. I was at a loss for what to say.
“This, is this your doing?” Alice looked me in the eye.
“No, Edward is just…he has just been hurting lately. I am sorry. I should go check
on him.”
I walked out of the room and down the hall to Edward‟s room. I lightly knocked
on the door only to hear a muffled, “GO AWAY!”
“Edward, it‟s me, Bella. Can I come in?” The door flung open, he grabbed my
hand yanking me in and shutting the door back.
-
Once inside I was pulled into a bear hug and he buried his head in my neck. I
wrapped my arms around him and ran my fingers down his hair lovingly.
“It‟s okay, are you alright?”
He shook his head.
“What was that back there?”
“Bella I...can we please just not talk about it. Can I just kiss you? I need to feel
something other than what I am feeling at this moment. Please?”
I answered him by pressing my lips to his. There was urgency about this kiss. It
wasn‟t like the others we had shared, it was rough and angry, but passion filled.
Not passion of love but passion of anger or hurt. Like he was trying to erase
everything that had just happened with this kiss. As he ravaged my mouth I
started to get uncomfortable, this kiss brought back a memory. One I didn‟t care
to have, not with Edward. I pushed him back and he looked at me shocked.
“Edward, no. Don‟t kiss me like that. I don‟t want angry kissing, please. I can‟t
take that, okay?”
Horror filled his face and he released me and put his head in his hands.
64
“Bella, I am so sorry. Please, please forgive me.”
“Edward it is fine, just no angry kissing. That is not the emotion I want to feel
when we kiss. I know you are better than that.”
He looked broken, like when he found out I was leaving.
-
“Edward why haven‟t you talked to them? They clearly love you and are just
concerned.”
“Because Bella, remember why I was at the cliffs that night?” I nodded.
“Everything in the world goes right for them. Everything is perfect. I am just so
sick of being the screw up in the group. They have found love, they have found
the perfect jobs, and they are perfect at school. Everything is going their way.
Every time we talk it just digs in deeper what a failure I am. I don‟t want to hear it
anymore, I get the point.”
“You are not a failure, stop that. You are perfect, maybe not your definition of
perfect, not like them. But Edward, you have so much going for you. Stop
comparing everything to them. You are not the same. Their idea of happiness and
your is most likely not the same. I know that they love you. I can tell by how hurt
they all are. They tell you these things because you are important to them and
they want to share their happiness with you. I don‟t think they do it to rub it in or
show off.”
“I know they don‟t. It doesn‟t change how it makes me feel though. It just proves
my point at what a failure I am. Instead of feeling like they are rubbing it in, I
should be happy that they want to share it with me. But I am jealous of what they
have and how perfect they are. I feel like the loser brother.”
“Stop. I am not going to sit here and listen to this Edward. You know you are not
a loser. Now come on. Go back out there. They all looked so hurt by what you
said.”
“Bella, I really don‟t want to see them.”
“Edward, don‟t do it for them, do it for you. I know you; you will feel horrible for
how you made them feel. You will beat yourself up about it.” I gave him a small
kiss and then stood up and held out my hand “Come on grumpy, let‟s go.”
He sighed and grabbed my hand, walking with me back into the room.
~*~
65
APOV
I was standing there in shock. My quiet, even tempered brother had never spoken
to me like that before. He had never spoken to anyone that way as far as I knew.
With tears falling from my eyes I turned to the others.
“What the hell was that?”
They all just shook their head and shrugged. They were just as speechless as I was
to this new Edward.
“Maybe it is this Bella.” Rose said.
“I don‟t know, what about that. Isn‟t it odd that he all the sudden is living with
some girl. Why has he never mentioned her? Why would he hide her from us?” I
didn‟t understand.
“I don‟t know, but I doubt that she would be the reason he isn‟t talking to us. She
seemed nice enough.” Jasper said, obviously not wanting us to jump to
conclusions and cause Edward to go off again.
“Well, if he ever talks to you like that again, I am going to have to remind him in
the nicest way possible to mind his manners.” Emmett said not looking to pleased
at what happened.
“I just don‟t understand why he will talk to this Bella and not to us. We are his
family. Why does he think we would not understand?”
“Ali, I don‟t know why, but I sure as hell plan on finding out. If he doesn‟t want to
talk to us, fine. He needs to remember though, that he isn‟t the only one in this
family and people get worried when you just drop off the face of the planet and
we have no word from him for a month.” Emmett said.
-
“I know, but I am worried now. Something is not right. Something is really
wrong. For him to flip out like that I can‟t even think what it could be.”
“Drugs maybe?” Rose asked
“No way!” Jasper said snapping his head up. “Edward is so not the drugs type.”
~*~
EPOV
Bella walked back out into the living room holding my hand. This was only going
to be worse, and I was right as soon as I saw what I had done to Alice. She had
been crying and now I felt like a complete ass.
66
“Alice, I am so sorry. This is why I didn‟t want to see you all. I have not been in a
good place and I didn‟t want to hurt any of you.”
“I am your sister Edward, I love you. If something is wrong I don‟t want you to
hide it from me. I want you to talk to me.”
I let go of Bella‟s hand and walked over to my sister. I wrapped my arms around
her tiny frame and hugged her.
“I am sorry Alice; none of this is your fault. It isn‟t anyone‟s fault. I have been
working on it, I promise. Bella has been helping me. We have been helping each
other.”
“What does that mean?” Alice asked looking concerned.
“Nothing, just know, I am not going through anything alone okay. I am fine…I
will get through whatever it is Alice. You all can stop worrying.”
-
“Edward, we love you, we will always worry about you if something is bothering
you.” Rose said.
“Thank you all for caring. I am fine though, I promise.” I said looking around at
all of their worried faces. “Please guys, I know you are worried, but let me work
this out on my own. It‟s nothing I can‟t get through. Please, just give me a little
time to myself.”
They all looked a little unsure as to whether they should do as I asked, but finally
Jasper spoke up. “Alright Edward, but if you need us, you know we are always
here. We don‟t want you to feel like you can‟t talk to us. We‟ve never kept
anything from each other, any of us and it‟s a little unsettling to know that we
can‟t help you right now. That there is something so seriously wrong right now
that you can‟t confide in us. But we‟ll back off for now, but please at least have the
courtesy to pick up the phone and call one of us or your parents to let us know
that you are still alive and well.”
I felt the guilt coming on again. He was right; I shouldn‟t have let them worry
about me. It must be killing Carlisle and Esme to not have heard from me in so
long. “You‟re right, you are all right. I should have at least let you know that I was
okay. I am sorry for that, but I just needed some time to think and pull myself
together. I don‟t ever feel like I‟m good enough for you all. I‟m just your loser
little brother, or the fifth wheel. I don‟t want to be that anymore. I need to figure
out who I am, and I can‟t do that if I‟m constantly around all of you. I am sorry, I
don‟t want to hurt any of you, because you are all so very important to me, but I
need you to try and understand.”
67
Alice looked at me with such sadness and tears in her eyes. “Edward, of course we
will give you time, but you have always been my best friend. We have never kept
things from each other. We have always been more like twins than brother and
sister. You have to know that we can‟t stand to see you hurt like this and not
know what‟s going on. You are not a loser; you are an amazing brother and
friend. You don‟t see yourself the way we see you. To us, you are perfect. We have
never thought of you as a fifth wheel. We were all best friends before any of us
ever became romantically involved. I am so sorry that you feel that way. You
know that Rose and Jasper think of you as their brother. We love having you with
us; it doesn‟t feel the same without you.” As she finished, everyone was shaking
their heads and agreeing with her.
Emmett spoke up again. “Edward, we will give you some time. But if you ever pull
anything like this again and make any of us, especially Mom and Dad, worry
about you like this again I will come over here -
and beat your ass. Do you understand?” He smiled his big old goofy smile as he
looked at Bella and added, “But don‟t take too long, because we are all really
anxious to get to know Bella. Wait until Mom and Dad find out about her.”
“Emmett, guys, please just let me tell Mom and Dad myself. Please! I promise I‟ll
give you guys a call soon and we can get together and you can get to know Bella. If
she‟s up for that.” I said looking at her unsure.
She just smiled that beautiful smile and shook her head shyly.
“Okay, well, we‟ll get out of your way and give you time. But I‟m not happy about
this Edward. You better be in touch soon.” Alice said as she gave me a hug
goodbye.
She walked over to Bella and gave her a hug and told her to take good care of me
and handed her a piece of paper with her phone number on it, just in case.
Everyone said their goodbyes and gave both me and Bella a hug before leaving. I
turned to look at Bella and she walked over to me and hugged me.
“We should go to bed. It‟s been a long day. We‟ll talk in the morning, okay?” I
nodded and gave her a kiss as we headed off to our separate bedrooms. I would
deal with all of this tomorrow. With that thought, I drifted off to sleep.
~*~
68
Chapter Ten
Three weeks had passed since the night Edwards worried family and friends had
visited. Edward and I had spent that time getting closer than I ever imagined.
Every waking hour that wasn‟t occupied by work or school was spent together.
We had spent a good amount of time helping each other study for finals. Now
that those were over and classes had ended. We had even more time to spend
with each other.
Over this time we were getting to the point that the sexual tension in the room
was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I knew I was not ready to be with him in
that way and I could see that he respected that. It doesn‟t mean the wants weren‟t
there on both our parts. Just little things would drive me insane. I know they had
to be having the same effect on him.
I would bump into him coming out of the shower, nothing but a towel wrapped
around his waist. His perfectly sculpted chest glistening with water, his forever
messy hair slicked back, the towel so low that I wanted it to just fall and give me a
glimpse. But I scolded myself mentally for thinking like that.
I would walk into the kitchen after waking up in a t-shirt and boy shorts and hear
a slight gasp from Edward as he came to retrieve his morning coffee. Catching
him taking glances at my backside, smiling to myself, loving the effect I had on
him.
I was only human and while yes, I had been through something horrible, Edward
made me want to heal, to get over it. So that I could spend my life happy with
him. I wanted to heal as fast as possible so that I could be with him fully, all of
me. Not some broken version of me. He deserved to have someone who was
whole.
Over these last weeks I had found myself falling in love with Edward. For
everything he was, and for everything he would be. The way he made me feel, the
things he did to me with just his words. Every touch or kiss filled with so much
love and adoration, I couldn‟t help but fall in love with him. I was pretty sure he
felt the same way. He was so set though on not moving to fast for my benefit.
That had to stop.
-
It had been two months basically since my life was changed forever. For better
and for worse. I had lost Jake, a constant fixture in my life since birth. I had,
however, gained Edward. I was ready to move on. I was done with thinking of the
69
things that had gone on with Jake, done with letting him have an ounce of control
over me anymore. I wanted control of my life back. I wanted to be able to love
Edward, to tell him, to be with him. I wanted my future to start now, and for it to
be with Edward forever.
So I decided to take charge now. My future awaited me, and I was going to show
him how much he meant to me. He surprised me three weeks ago telling me that
I was “Good Enough” for him. Now I wanted to show him that he was good
enough for me.
With that set, I went on to plan a special surprise for him. I needed to know
something that I couldn‟t ask Edward; otherwise it would give my surprise away.
So I took advantage of a number that was given to me three weeks ago.
I dialed the number and it picked up on the third ring.
“Hello.”
“Yes, is this Alice?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Sorry, Alice this is Bella, Edward's friend.”
“Oh, Bella, hi. Is Edward okay?”
-
“Yes, sorry, I didn‟t mean to worry you. I wanted to do something special for
Edward. He did an amazing thing for me the night of your visit, and so I wanted
to do something nice for him. I wanted to make him a dinner and I was
wondering, what is his favorite food?”
“Oh, that is really sweet Bella. Umm let me think. Really, he likes a really good
steak, loaded baked potato and ceaser salad. He is pretty simple.” She said with a
laugh. “Very much a guy.”
“Well, that is easy enough. Thanks Alice.”
“Bella?”
“Yes.”
“Is he okay? I have never been in this position. Never been kept in the dark with
him. It is killing me, Bella. I feel as though I have lost my best friend. Will you
please tell me if he is okay?” She sounded on the verge of tears.
“Alice, he is fine. I promise. He was having a tough time, but he is getting better.
Smiling a lot, joking around. I promise I would never let anything happen to him.
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I have no idea what it must be like for you. I am an only child, so I don‟t know
what having a sibling is like. But he means the world to me Alice.”
“I am glad he has you then, at least he is talking to someone. Edward has always
been so sensitive. I just worry about him. I have never seen him like this before.”
“Everything will be okay soon. School is done now, so he shouldn‟t be as stressed.
Maybe he can relax a bit.” I said hoping that was true.
-
“Well that is good, I hope you are right. I just want my brother back.”
“Well I hope you won‟t have to wait much longer, Alice”
“Okay, well I will let you go and get to your surprise. I am glad you called. It was
nice to talk to you a bit. Thank you for caring so much about Edward.”
“It is no problem, thanks for helping.”
With that we said goodbye and I made a list of what I needed to get while out.
Just then I heard the key in the door and shoved my list in my purse. Edward
walked through the door and as soon as he saw me and smiled. Dropping the keys
on the coffee table, he walked over to me and sat down, wrapping his arms
around my waist and leaned his head down to kiss my neck.
“Welcome home.” I said with a giggle his nose tickling my neck. “Have a good
day?”
“Not until now.” he said lifting his head to look me in the eyes.
“Awww, you‟re such a mush.” I went to ruffle his hair.
“Yeah, Yeah. Do I get a kiss?”
-
“Of course, why would you even have to ask?” I leaned in, meeting his lips. Even
though over the past 3 weeks kissing Edward had become the norm, I never got
over the feeling of when our lips met.
After a few moments of blissfully kissing Edward, we parted lips and he rested his
head on my chest.
“I have to go out. I have a few things to pick up. I have a surprise for you tonight.”
I said as I ran my fingers through his hair.
He lifted his head to look at me again.
“What do you mean a surprise?”
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“Ummm, a surprise Edward, for you.”
“You don‟t have to do anything for me, you know that right?”
“I know I don‟t have to do anything for you. But I want to and you have no say.”
“Bella, please don‟t go out of your way fo…” I cut him off.
“Oh, so you‟re allowed to surprise me, but I can‟t do something nice fore you?” I
said rolling my eyes.
“Bella.”
-
“Hush Edward, I am doing it. If you don‟t want your surprise, you don‟t have to
come.” I said as I wiggled my way from underneath him so that I could stand.
“But my feelings would be hurt, and I know you don‟t want to do that.” I leaned
over giving him a small kiss on his lips and grabbed my purse to go.
I gave him one last look before walking out the door and had to laugh. He looked
like a little boy pouting because I took his toy away.
“I‟ll be back in a few.”
~*~
EPOV
While Bella was out I decided to shower and get a few things done around the
house. Once I was done showering, I walked around looking for something to
clean or pick up, but since Bella had lived here, there was never anything like that
for me to do anymore.
I sat down and flipped through some channels on the TV but as usual there was
nothing on, so I turned it off and sat in silence.
I finally decided there was something I needed to do. I had put it off long enough
and it wasn‟t fair to them…So I reached for the phone off the end table and dialed
my parents.
“EDWARD!” Mom‟s caller ID apparently was coming in useful because she didn‟t
even say hello.
“Yes mom, how are you?”
-
“My god, where have you been? I have been so worried about you. Alice and
Emmett told me not to call you, that you were upset and needed some time. What
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is wrong? Are you okay? Edward, what has happened to you?” obviously not
speaking to her in the past few months was not a great idea.
“Mom, I am fine. I have just been dealing with some things. I needed some time
to myself. Things are better. I am sorry I have worried all of you.” I was, I hated
hearing my mother like this.
“I just can‟t believe you didn‟t call. I have never not heard from any of my
children for that long. I was going to come and see you myself but your brother
and sister told me no.”
“It is okay, mom. I will come over soon, alright? I have to talk to you anyway. I
have someone I would like you to meet.” I knew this would cheer her up.
“WHAT!?“ she screeched. I was sure my ears would start to bleed.
“Ow, mom…jeeze I have someone I would like you and dad to meet. Her name is
Bella.”
“Oh Edward, how long have you been keeping this from me? Where did you meet
her? How long have you been together? Oh, when can we meet her?” okay maybe
not such a great idea.
“Mom, I will tell you everything soon enough. Just relax alright.”
“Oh Edward, please come to dinner this weekend. I will have everyone over.
Please, I need to see you in person. Your father misses you. We all miss you, not
to mention we would love to meet Bella. Please?”
I had to think about it, how would Bella feel.
-
“Alright mom, I have to see if Bella is free that day. But if she is and she is okay
with it, I will bring her with me.”
“Thank you, Edward. I won‟t bother you anymore. I can‟t wait to see you. Your
father will be so happy.”
“Alright mom, I will be happy to see you all as well. I am going to go. I will call
you back and let you know, okay?”
“Okay Edward, I love you. We all do. See you soon.”
“Bye mom.”
Now I had to run this past Bella, I hope she wouldn‟t freak. She had already met
most of the family, and my parents were mild compared to the group she got
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surprised by. Speaking of surprises, I really wonder what Bella is doing. I hope
she isn‟t going out of her way to do something for me.
~*~
BPOV
I had gotten the supplies from the store, and made my way to the car. After
packing them away in the trunk. I slid into the car and picked up my phone to
dial Edward.
“Hello.”
“Hey, can you do me a favor?”
-
“Anything.”
“I need you to leave the house for a while. Like an hour and a half ok?”
“What? Bella what are you doing?”
“Edward it is a surprise. Go get some coffee, go to the book store. Do something
for an hour and a half. Don‟t argue.” he is such a baby.
“Can‟t I have a hint?”
“Did you give me a hint for my surprise?”
“Well no, but.”
“But nothing. I will be home in like 20 minutes. Be gone by the time I get home.
Stop being stubborn.”
“Fine, I will see you when I get home.
I took my time driving home just to make sure he wasn‟t lurking around trying to
sneak a peak at what I had. I made it home parking in the usual spot and made
my way up to our apartment. I opened the door peaking around to make sure he
wasn‟t here and he wasn‟t. I went to the kitchen and started preparing. Seasoning
and pre-heating the oven. Once everything was in cooking I made my way to the
table to make it fancy.
-
Once I had everything perfect I checked the timer and then made my way to the
bathroom to freshen up for the night. Picking out a light blue v-neck sweater and
a pair of jeans.
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Any moment Edward was to be home and so I finished off the table, lighting the
candles and placing the silver wear out. Just as I lit the last candle, as if on cue, I
heard the key in the door. I turned around standing in front of the table. When he
opened the door and saw me I stepped aside and said “surprise” motioning my
hand toward the table.
A smile broke out across his face. “Bella, what have you done? Something smells
wonderful.”
“I made you dinner, you deserve a treat. I made your favorite.”
Tilting his head to the side and giving me a look of confusion he asked, “How did
you know what my favorite food was?”
“Well, I called Alice.”
“You called Alice? How did you even get a hold of her?”
“She gave me her number the night she was here with the others. How else was I
supposed to ask your favorite food without ruining the surprise?”
“Talk about anything else?”
“She just asked how you were. I told her you were doing good. That was basically
it.”
-
“Well thank you.” he said as he came and wrapped his arms around my waist and
placed his lips on mine.
After the short kiss I told him to sit while I got the food plated and brought it out
for us to enjoy.
Edward complimented my cooking skills and we just talked about random stuff
and laughed a lot. Then, as we were finishing our dinner, Edward got a little
serious.
“Uh, Bella, um, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, Edward, what is it?”
“Um, well, I called my mom while you were out earlier, and I told her about
you…and well, she kind of wants us to go over there for dinner this weekend.” He
said, looking down at his empty plate. “I told her that I would have to make sure
it was okay with you first. You aren‟t under any obligation to go. I told her that
you might be busy. The whole family will be there and I completely understand if
you want to skip it.”
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I just looked at him and started laughing. He looked a little confused.
“What‟s so funny?”
“Nothing, you‟re just so cute when you start rambling like that. But, to answer
your question, I don‟t know that me going is a good idea. I‟m just worried that
they will think that I am the reason you haven‟t called and they will hate me
before even meeting me. I know that I‟ve already met your brother and sister, but
I‟m not sure that went real well.”
“Bella, they will love you. That is why I want you to come with me. I want them to
get to know the real you. The wonderful, funny, smart, and beautiful Bella I know
and get to see every day.”
I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes and I knew that it would be okay if
Edward were there with me, so I decided that I could suck it up. If I were going to
move on with my life and have a future with Edward, I would have to meet his
family eventually. So, better to get it over with now.
“Okay, I‟ll go.”
“Thank you, Bella. I promise, they will love you. All of them.”
We finished our dinner and as I was cleaning off the table, Edward went into the
living room and turned on some music. I couldn‟t tell what was playing, but I
could tell it was a ballad of some sort. I finished cleaning up and made my way
over to Edward. He was sitting on the couch, with his head resting against the
back, his eyes closed and a slight smile played across his lips. I sat down next to
him and rested my head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around my waist and
gently pulled me closer to him.
We sat like that for a few minutes, just listening to the music and enjoying being
close to one another. A familiar song started to play as Edward leaned over and
whispered, “Dance with me, Bella.”
“Edward, I‟m not a very good dancer. I don‟t want to ruin this night by my
clumsiness.”
He just chuckled as he pulled me up and said, “Silly, beautiful girl. Don‟t you
know it‟s all in the leading? Just trust me, okay?”
Reluctantly, I got up and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled me close to
him as he wrapped his arms around my waist and hummed Clair De Lune in my
ear. This was one of his favorite songs, and had eventually become one of mine. I
rested my head on his chest as we swayed back and forth. Too soon for my liking,
the song ended, but another slow ballad played and we continued to dance.
76
-
This was the most perfect moment of my life. My heart was about to burst with all
the emotions that I was feeling. I couldn‟t take it any longer. I looked up at him
and was met with those amazing emerald eyes. I slowly pulled his head down
until his lips met mine. Kissing him had become a regular thing, lately, but this
kiss was beyond anything I had ever experienced. It was so full of passion and
love. Our lips moved together so perfectly. He ran his tongue over my bottom lip
and I parted my lips and granted him access. I was getting a little dizzy from the
lack of oxygen, so I broke away and started trailing little butterfly kisses down his
neck. He pulled me closer to him and brought my lips back to his. He kissed me
softly on the lips and then began a slow, tortuous trail of kisses down my neck.
I let out a little moan, and slowly began undoing the buttons on his shirt. When I
finally reached the last button, I ran my hands up his perfectly sculpted chest and
across his collarbone. I ran my hands under his shirt and across his shoulders as
the shirt made its way to the floor. I slowly began my trail of kisses across his
chest and arms, getting a moan from him as well.
He ran his hands up and down my sides and finally rested his hand at the hem of
my shirt. He looked at me as if asking permission before he finally pulled it over
my head and tossed it to the floor.
“Beautiful.” he whispered. Then began to kiss my neck and shoulders and arms as
I had done to him. He reached around and released the clasp on my bra. He ran
his fingers slowly up my arms, with a trail of kisses following the path his fingers
just made. When he reached the straps he pulled them off my shoulders retracing
the path he had just made until the bra fell to the floor. He continued to trail soft
kisses across up my stomach until he reached my breast. His ran his tongue
across my nipple and then continued his kisses to the other breast and did the
same thing. He then began to suck and lick them. He was driving me crazy.
“Mmm…Edward.” I moaned. My knees were getting weak, so he gently picked me
up bridal style and pressed his lips to mine as he carried me into his bedroom and
laid me across his bed, never breaking our kiss.
I pulled away and started my own trail of kisses down his neck and chest,
continuing down his stomach and stopping just above the top of his pants. I
began to unbutton his pants and very slowly pull them off.
“Bella, you‟re killing me.” he sighed.
As I went to reach for his boxers, he grabbed my wrists and laid me back down on
the bed. He held my wrists above my head with one hand and unbuttoned my
77
pants with his free one, slowly pulling them off of me, just as I had him. He let go
of my wrists and grabbed my left foot and began his trail of kisses from my ankle
to my inner thigh and then picked back up at my -
stomach and eventually worked his way back up to my lips. Again, he ran his
hands down my body and back up resting right above my panties. He slipped one
finger underneath them as if he were testing me. When I didn‟t resist him, he
pulled them down as far as he could and I helped him the rest of the way.
His fingers began caressing my center as he made his way to my clit. He began
rubbing in slow, tantalizing circles. My hips bucked up to meet them. He slowly
thrust one finger inside of me while his thumb took over where his fingers had
just been. His lips found my breasts again and he began sucking on them.
“Oh god, Edward…” I moaned, as I wound my fingers through his hair and pulled
him closer to me. His fingers continued their glorious assault as I ran my hands
down his chest and to his boxers.
I slipped my hand underneath them and wrapped my hand around his arousal.
He gasped and moaned as I stroked him, keeping the same rhythm as his fingers
were inside me.
He began to thrust into my hand as my hips were into his. His thumb still stoking
my clit and I began to feel my muscles clamp around his fingers and I cried out as
he sent me over the edge.
I continued stroking him until he groaned and began pulsing against my palm,
finally emptying himself into my hand.
We both lay there for a few minutes, breathless, before he wrapped his arms
around me and pulled me to his chest. “Bella,” he asked in a shaky voice, “are you
okay? Was that okay?”
“It was perfect, Edward.”
“I‟m sorry I lost control. I got so caught up in you and the moment, I couldn‟t
think of anything but you, and I‟m sorry if I went too far.”
I pulled his face down to look at me and kissed his lips before replying. “Edward,
no apologizing and no regrets. I am fine. I don‟t think I would have wanted it to
go any further, but what we did was okay. It was perfect. You were perfect.”
I kissed him again and snuggled closer to his chest, before I drifted off into a
peaceful and dreamless sleep in his arms.
~*~
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Chapter Eleven
EPOV
I woke up in the middle of the night with Bella‟s leg hitched over my hip and her
face was mere inches from my own. Her hands were curled up under her chin. I
sat there listening to her breathing, I never thought such a sound would bring so
much happiness to my life, but it did. Of course, everything about Bella brought
happiness to my life.
I couldn‟t believe the level we had progressed to tonight. I never expected
anything like to happen between us for some time. Had I thought about it? Of
course, I was only human. But to think that she thought about it, caused me to
burst with the excitement of a school girl.
I was in love with her. It wasn‟t a question anymore of falling, I was head over
heels in love with her and I wanted to tell her. Now that I knew she most likely
felt the same, I couldn‟t wait for the perfect moment to tell her. To share with her
everything, make her mine. For life.
I was, however, worried about her reaction to my family as a whole. I knew she
had met a majority of them, but that was them in worry mode. I was sure once
she saw them in a normal setting she would love them. They would love her too.
Mainly because I loved her, but because I can‟t see how it would be possible not
to love Bella. Something about her meeting my parents sealed the deal of our
relationship. It made it real, and true. Once this happened she would forever be a
part of my life.
I had always wanted what everyone in my family seemed to have. I always
pictured what it felt like from what I saw. I never knew it could be this good. That
you could feel such a charge from someone‟s every touch, but I knew that I never
wanted to live without it again.
I laid there watching her sleep, until I eventually drifted off to sleep with the
thought of spending the rest of my life with the women lying next to me.
~*~
BPOV
The weekend made its fast approach and Edward and I were now on our way to
his parent‟s home.
-
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I had spent about two hours changing outfits and putting my hair up and taking it
down. I was in completely freaking out. Edward was from such a large and close
knit family, if one didn‟t like me I was sure the others wouldn‟t either. I had been
changing into my tenth outfit when I felt his embrace from behind. He leaned in
to me and whispered “Calm down” into my ear.
“Maybe this wasn‟t a great idea Edward. If they don‟t like me…” He cut me off
before I could finish, spinning me around.
“Bella, love, they will adore you. Like I adore you. How could they not?”
“Oh, I can think of so many reasons why they won‟t like me Edward.”
“Not a one of them is true then. To think that they would do anything but fall in
love with you is crazy talk.”
I rolled my eyes at him, and he placed a chaste kiss on my lips.
“Now what seems to be the problem here?” he asked as he surveyed the clothes
spread all over my room.
“I have no idea what to wear. Do I go casual? Do I dress up? Do I wear my hair up
or down? First impressions are everything.”
“Bella, relax…They will love you. Now. How about you wear this?” he pointed to a
blue cardigan set I had “and this” and pulled out a khaki skirt I had tried on
already. “Leave your hair down, it is beautiful.”
“Fine.” I said as I got dressed and brushed out my hair as he left to finish himself.
-
We made our way down a private drive towards a beautiful white Victorian home
I could see getting closer and closer. The closer we got, the more I started to freak
out. I was now to the point of biting my nails and tapping my foot on the floor.
Edward took notice and took hold of my hand, pulling it away from my mouth
and resting it on my knee, to keep me still.
“Bella, stop. They are going to love you.”
“I can‟t help it, I am nervous. I have never really done the whole meet the parent‟s
thing. With...You know, Jake, I knew Billy my whole life.”
“If I thought they wouldn‟t like you love, I wouldn‟t put you through this. You
have to know that. I wouldn‟t ever put you in a situation where you could get
hurt. They will love you, how could they not?”
We had made it to the house by this time and it was beautiful.
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“You ready?” Edward asked.
“As I‟ll ever be.” I responded.
“Good, let‟s go.”
Edward came and opened the door extending his hand to help me out of the car. I
took a deep breath and took his hand.
We made our way up to the front door; Edward leaned his head down and
whispered “Breathe Bella” into my ear. I exhaled a gust of air I had been holding.
He turned and gave me a chaste kiss on my lips and then opened the door.
-
The inside of the home look just as it would have when the house was first built.
Antique furniture outfitting the rooms, a grand staircase in the foyer, beautiful
rich paint colors covered the wall, crown molding. Everything was just exquisite.
“Mom, Dad. You here?” Edward called when we saw no one in the rooms.
It was quiet and then from the top of the stairs came a women that, in no way
looked like she could be Edward‟s mother. She looked more like an older sister.
She was followed by a blonde man who looked to be young as well.
“Edward, sweetheart, we have missed you.” She came towards him with her arms
opened waiting to embrace her son.
“I have missed you to mom, dad.” Edward leaned in to hug both of them.
“Mom, Dad, this is Bella. Bella, this is my mother Esme and my father Carlisle.”
Edward‟s mother came towards me and pulled me into a motherly embrace just
as she had done to Edward.
“It is wonderful to finally meet you. I have heard good things. I can‟t wait to learn
more of the girl who makes my son so happy.” She said with a smile.
“Yes, Bella, it is good to finally see the person who has been taking care of our
son.” Carlisle said taking my hand in his.
I was a little stunned by how warm they both were. I just nodded and smiled. I
was at a loss for words.
“So where is everyone else?” Edward asked.
-
Just as the words came from his mouth, Alice appeared at the top of the stairs
with Jasper.
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“We are here Edward. Emmett and Rose are late as usual.” She said skipping
down the stairs leaving Jasper behind to go at a normal pace.
She rushed towards Edward throwing her arms around him in a hug saying, “I‟ve
missed you, goober.” then turning to me and pulling me into a giddy hug.
“Hi, Alice.” I said giving her a gentle squeeze back.
“So, how did Edward like his surprise the other night?” Alice asked causing me to
blush mercilessly.
“That good, huh?”
“Alice!” Edward scolded her.
“What?”
“I enjoyed my dinner, thank you for sharing my favorite food with her. Bella is an
amazing cook so it was a wonderful surprise.” he said and squeezed my hand.
“Well,” Esme spoke up “lets all go sit in the family room while we wait for your
brother and Rose to arrive.”
We made our way to the family room, each taking a seat.
-
“So Bella, glad classes are over?” Carlisle asked.
“Yes sir, this semester was stressful. I am glad to have some time off.”
“Please, call me Carlisle. What are you majoring in?”
“Psychology.”
“Oh, very good.” he said and gave me a smile.
They were all looking at me and Edward sitting very close together, holding
hands.
“So,” Alice spoke next “how did you two meet?” I felt Edward stiffen as I squeezed
his hand a bit too tight. We hadn‟t talked about what to tell them about how we
met. I didn‟t feel like discussing that with the family and I am sure he didn‟t
either.
“We met at the cliffs; we both go there to relax. She happened to come up there
one day, and I was there and we started talking and hit it off.” Edward explained.
It wasn‟t that far of a stretch, he just happened to leave out the part where both of
us never planned on leaving the cliffs alive that night.
“Are you from around here?” Esme asked.
82
“No, I am from Forks, Washington. It is a small town up north; don‟t know if you
may have heard of it.”
“Sure, we have been up that way before. It is beautiful up there.”
-
“So do you two live near each other? Do you get to see a lot of each other?” Esme
asked, and I thought I was going to die. Alice had taken a drink at that moment
and burst in to a chocking fit and Jasper was patting her on the back. Esme and
Carlisle had looked at their daughter like she had three eyes, not understanding
why she would act like this. Edward put his head in his hands shaking it back and
forth as if Alice could be anymore obvious.
“Is something wrong with that question?” Esme asked.
Just then the front door burst open and in walked Edward‟s massive brother and
his modelesqe girlfriend.
“Sorry we‟re late. Rose refuses to do anything ahead of time. Left getting ready
until the last minute.” I heard a smack and Rose glared at Emmett.
“Are you kidding me? You took a shower for an hour and a half. Stop blaming
me.”
“Kids, we have a guest tonight, can we please not scare her off with you antics?”
Carlisle motioned his hand towards me.
“Hey, Bella!!” Emmett boomed and came over to shake my hand I assumed.
Instead I was pulled out of the seat and wrapped in a bear hug from this brut of a
man.
“Emmett would you put my girlfriend down please.” I froze. What did Edward
just say? I knew that we were a little more than friends, but we had never talked
about it, or made it official. We were going to have to talk about that. Emmett
released me and I gave him a smile and entwined my fingers back with Edward‟s,
giving it a loving squeeze.
His family had all gotten these cheesy smiles on their face when Edward
announced I was his girlfriend. I of course, turned bright red. I could feel the
blush on my cheeks.
-
“Alright gang, I think we have embarrassed the kids enough for one night. Let‟s
say we start dinner. Now that all of us are here.” Carlisle said throwing Emmett a
knowing look, and Emmett in return cracking a smile.
83
We all stood and made our way into the dining room. Edward pulled out my chair
for me. He sat to the right of me, and Emmett sat down on my left. Everyone was
silent as Esme and Carlisle started to set the food on the table.
Finally, after everyone had filled their plates and started eating, the conversation
picked up, of course with tales of Edward as a child, and a few more random
questions of me. There was an awkward silence when the one question I had been
dreading came up, and I had to explain about my parents. Everyone looked at me
as though I would burst into tears at any moment, but I didn‟t. Having Edward
there made me strong enough.
Once we had finished our dinner, I offered to help clear the plates to make room
for dessert, but they were having none of it. They all decided to do that
themselves and that gave Edward and I a moment alone to talk. He had asked me
if I wanted a tour of the house and I accepted.
We made our way through the lower level, moving up to the second level. He
pointed out his father‟s office and Alice and Emmett‟s rooms. He pointed out the
antiques that had history behind them and the paintings done by some artist I
had never heard of. However, I could see where living in a home like this would
bring about children who were creative.
We made our way up to what appeared to be the attic. Edward explained that this
was his room. His room was amazing. It seemed to stretch the length of the
house, but was sectioned off. On one half was Edward‟s bed and a black leather
couch. A TV on an entertainment center and shelves upon shelves of DVDs. On
the other half of the room was a little studio. There were racks of CDs, a stereo, a
desk filled with every type of medium for art. Oil pastels, charcoal, water colors,
paints in tubes that I had never seen before. Every painting brush imaginable.
There was an art easel that had a sheet thrown over it. A rack of canvas‟s that
looked to be painted. All this in front of this huge window that over looked a
small creek in the Cullen‟s backyard. This was possibly the most amazing room I
had ever seen.
“Edward, this is incredible.” I looked around in awe.
-
“Yeah, I guess.”
“What do you mean “you guess” how many people do you think have rooms like
this?”
“Not many I suppose.”
“Why don‟t you have a studio set up at the apartment?”
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“You know why Bella. Part of the problem, remember?”
Of course I knew what problem Edward was referring to. He went and sat on the
couch and I followed him. I sat down and he pulled me closer to him resting his
head on mine.
“They like you a lot, you know?”
“Hmm.”
“My parents, the family. They love you, just like I knew they would. They
practically wet themselves when I called you my girlfriend.”
“Yeah, about that. When did I become your girlfriend?” I asked with a smirk.
He looked confused for a minute before he smiled and answered. “Well, after my
surprise the other night and the fact that you sleep in my bed every night, I
thought that was a given.”
-
“Well, you haven‟t asked me officially, yet. What if I don‟t want to be your
girlfriend, huh?” I replied with a smile.
“Hmmm…I guess I‟ll have to change your mind.”
He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me to him. As soon as our lips met,
there was that familiar charge and every nerve in my body went into pleasure
shock. He deepened the kiss and my hands grabbed his hair and I threw myself
into the kiss as much as humanly possible. Soon enough images of what we did a
few nights ago replayed in my mind and I started to push the limits. I pulled
myself up and straddled his lap. Kissing his neck as he allowed his hands to run
up and underneath the hem of my shirt. When the skin of his hand made contact
with the skin on my back that was it, I started unintentionally grinding my hips
into his obvious arousal beneath me. He threw his head back on the couch and let
out a small moan. I started to unbutton his shirt and he was moving his hands up
my shirt further and further and brought them around to right under my breast.
This caused me to gasp but didn‟t stop me from assaulting his mouth with mine
as much as I could.
I knew we shouldn‟t be doing this. I knew that it was beyond inappropriate but I
couldn‟t help it. However, soon enough I would be reminded why it was bad to be
doing. Edward had reached my breast and I had let out a moan when all the
sudden I heard a deep voice call “Edwa…WHOA!” Edward immediately dropped
his hands and my hand snapped to my mouth. There stood Emmett looking like
he was about to lose his battle with laughter that must have been building inside
85
him after finding his baby brother feeling me up. I could feel the burn in my face
as I was now sure I was purple. I am pretty sure that I bypassed red all together.
“Umm, hmmm. Eddie, mom said to come down and get dessert. I think that she
was unaware that you were having yours in your room tonight.” Emmett laughed
to himself for the crack, and Edward shot him a death glare and pointed “OUT” to
him.
“Now, Now…No reason to get all testy. We all have done naughty things in this
house Edward.” he chuckled. “You might want to make sure to lock the door next
time though.” With that Edward stood up and went to escort Emmett out.
“HEY! Dammit Edward…Put little Eddie away, perv. You can‟t go down there like
that.”
-
I seriously thought I was going to die.
“Emmett I swear. If you don‟t get out of my room I am going to kill you. GO!”
Edward screamed.” I will be down in a moment.”
“Sheesh Edward, relax. I will tell them you are on your way baby bro. So grumpy!
How do you put up with him Bella?” He asked me peaking around Edward.
“Emmett…NOW!” Edward said now physically pushing Emmett out the door and
closing it after him.
“Oh my god, Bella. I am so sorry about that. He is a big stupid jerk sometimes but
her means well. I am so sorry I got carried away. I just can‟t stop myself when I
am with you, but I should have. I know this is hard enough for you and now you
have perverted old me groping….” I cut him off.
“Edward, it is fine. Embarrassing, but okay. Please never apologize for that
feeling you give me. Now, I believe you were trying to convince me of something
before we were interrupted.”
He smiled that beautiful crooked smile as he put his arms around my waist.
“Bella, would you please be my girlfriend?”
“Of course Edward. I would love to be your girlfriend.” I answered and then
kissed his cheek. I didn‟t want to get carried away again.
“We better get down there before Emmett tells them he found us up here doing
something we weren‟t.”
“What! He would lie to them?” I asked nervous now. If he did tell them what he
just walked in on, they would think I was a whore. “Oh god.” I moaned.
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-
“What Bella? What is wrong with you?”
“Your mother is going to think I am some skank here to steal her son. I am really
not looking forward to going back down there.”
“Bella, my family is very close and open-minded. If Emmett is blabbing, don‟t
worry about it. First, Emmett always embellishes, everyone know that. So what
ever twist Emmett puts on it, the family knows to take it with a grain of salt.
Second, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. So we were making out.” I
looked at him like he was crazy, making out. “Third, they love you and we are
young. Carlisle is a doctor. I highly doubt he would even be shocked.”
“Fine." I said and kissed him on the nose. “We better get down there before
Emmett comes up thinking worse.”
We stood and headed back downstairs to the dining room to have dessert. Esme
made raspberry cobbler and had homemade vanilla ice cream to go with it. My
mouth was watering from just looking at it.
We each had a plate and were enjoying some memories and laughs, when my
phone started to buzz in my pocket. Not even thinking about it I picked the phone
up said “excuse me“ to the family and answered the phone mid-laugh. I had been
having so much fun I didn‟t look at the caller ID and when the voice on the other
end responded my heart sank. I hadn‟t thought about Jacob since the day I was
going to walk out of Edward‟s life. I had followed through with leaving my past in
the past and moving on, trying to have a wonderful future with Edward.
I choked. I couldn‟t speak; I felt the fear all over my face. I looked to Edward and
he dropped his fork and held out his hand for the phone. I shook my head no and
stood up and left the table. I could feel the eyes of his family on my back as I
walked away.
“Why are you calling me, Jake?” I couldn‟t believe this.
-
“Bella, I think I have given you more than enough time alone. I have to talk to
you. You owe me that much.”
“I owe you nothing!” I was trying hard not to raise my voice, knowing Edwards
family would hear.
“Bella, I can tell you are busy, but I am not argue with you anymore. We WILL
meet up and we WILL talk. I will see you soon Bella. I love you.” and with that, he
hung up.
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I felt my chest start to tighten and a lump rising in my throat. I covered my
mouth to control the sobs that I knew were coming.
I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I turned to bury my face in Edward‟s
chest. Just five minutes ago I was happy, not a care in the world, except hoping
that Edward‟s family liked me. Now Jake was at it again. I knew that Jake was
stubborn and he wouldn‟t give up. He would find me and with his new found
anger, I was terrified to find out what he would do to me this time.
~*~
Chapter Twelve
EPOV
We were laughing and having a great time. Bella really seemed to fit in. Once she
relaxed, she started to show my family the girl I fell in love with.
Emmett was telling yet another embarrassing story about me in high school when
I saw Bella reach in her pocket and pull out her phone. She was laughing at what
Emmett was saying and answered the phone mid laugh. I knew immediately who
was on the other end. Bella‟s face went from that of pure joy, to that of terror.
I reached my hand out for the phone; I was going to seriously kick this guy‟s ass.
She shook her head and excused herself from the table.
I would be stupid to think my family wouldn‟t notice the change in her attitude.
They all glanced at her as she left the room and then to me for some sort of
answer.
“Is she alright?” Esme asked looking concerned.
“No.”
“What is it Edward? What happened?” Alice asked.
“I can‟t tell you. If Bella wants to let you all know she will.”
Just then I heard Bella yelling, this couldn‟t be good. I ran my fingers through my
hair in frustration. I wanted to strangle the jerk off for doing this to her, for
taking her away from the happiness she has been enjoying. It really seemed like
he was intent on not letting her go. This was going to have to stop.
-
I could hear Bella sobbing now.
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“Go to her dear, make sure she is alright.” Esme said.
I stood and found Bella leaning against the wall crying. I wrapped my arms
around her and told her it would be alright. That I wasn‟t going to let anything
happen to her and I meant it.
“Bella, what‟s wrong?” I asked caressing her cheek.
“He is…never...going to stop.” she said sniffling.
“Bella, I think it is time to get a restraining order. You can‟t live in fear. He
already got away with raping you. Don‟t let him have this hold over your life. You
deserve to feel free and happy. To enjoy a meal with new friends without having
him ruin it.”
“I know, I am just worried that his father will find out. Billy is like a dad to me
and it will crush him. He is already not in the best of health. I don‟t want to be the
reason for him being hurt.”
“Bella, love, Jake is the reason for Billy getting hurt. Not you. You have done
nothing wrong.”
Bella took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. “I know, I just worry about Billy,
that‟s all.”
“I know you do.” I said kissing the top of her head. “Everything will be fine. We
will figure something out.”
“Oh crap Edward, your family. What must they think of me?” She said trying to
fix her face and smooth down your hair.
-
“They asked me what was wrong; I told them it wasn‟t my place to say. I didn‟t
know if you would want me to.”
“Well, we are going to have to say something now. I acted all crazy, was yelling
and crying and I am sure I look like a mess.”
“You look beautiful as always. It is up to you what you tell them. I am here,
whatever you say. I will go with.”
“I don‟t want to lie to them Edward. I really like them.”
“Then don‟t lie. They aren‟t going to think any less of you.”
“Ok, let‟s go back in. I really do like them Edward. Thank you for bringing me
here to meet them.”
“Of course.”
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We walked back into the dining room to my awaiting family.
~*~
BPOV
We walked hand and hand back to the dining room. Full of Edwards loved ones.
It was obvious that they all were attempting to make small talk but all had looks
of worry on their faces.
“Bella, dear, are you alright?” Esme ask standing and coming to me, wrapping her
arms around me in a warm embrace in which I returned.
-
I don‟t know what it was that made me want to tell them. If it was that I trusted
every single one of them the moment I met them. That I wanted to take some of
the burden off of Edward. I think he was getting overwhelmed with this. Maybe it
was part of the healing process to let it out. To let someone other then Edward
and Jacob know what happened to me. That if it was out there then it was true.
There was no ignoring it, no pushing it aside. It was there and once others knew I
would finally be free of the feeling that I hade to live in shame and hide myself. It
was also a little bit about telling adults. Carlisle and Esme. Everyone else so far
wasn‟t an authority figure, they were. Telling them just made it somehow official.
“I am okay. Thanks to Edward at least.”
“What does that mean, sweetheart?”
“Edward has been helping me through something pretty big. If it wasn‟t for him I
wouldn‟t be alive.”
Everyone was staring wide eyed at both me and Edward.
“Maybe we should go to the family room and sit.” Carlisle suggested.
Everyone made their way to the family room. Edward sat next to me, one arm
wrapped around me and with his free hand he held mine.
The others were sitting quietly and I just decided to do it.
“Okay. Like Edward said we met on the cliffs. I wasn‟t there to relax. I was there
to jump.” I heard a round of gasps. Edward pulled me closer to him. “My parents
died while I was in high school. I had no one else, no family. So my father‟s best
friend took me in. I and his son had been friends since practically birth. He
became my boyfriend eventually. We went off to college together and everything
was great. I walked in on him and my roommate “together” if you know what I
mean. So I left. He found me the next day where I was staying. He was upset, he
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had been drinking. When I tried to get him to leave, it went from bad to
worse…he…he ummm.” my eye sight had become blurry due to the overflow of
tears.
-
“Bella, I am here, you don‟t have to do this.” Edward whispered to me, rubbing
my arm, trying to bring me any form of comfort.
“He raped me.” I explained as I kept my eyes focused on the floor. I heard a
couple of gasps and something that sounded like a growl, but I didn‟t look up, I
just kept talking. “I tried to scream but he hit me. So I just shut down, I didn‟t try
to fight, I didn‟t scream again, I just let it happen. I had gone to the cliffs to just
end it because now I had no one. Jake was the only family that I had left. He took
everything away from me with how he had acted those couple of days.”
I looked up and saw that the women had brought their hands to their mouth as if
to cover a scream and tears were streaming down all of their faces. The men just
looked sad, liked they pitied me and that isn‟t what I wanted.
“Don‟t look like that everyone. I am fine now, or at least I am getting there. All
thanks to Edward. He saw what I was about to do and he stopped me. He saved
me. He showed me that my life wasn‟t over, that it was worth living because...well
I have him now. He is the most amazing person I know. I don‟t think anyone
would have even bothered. He did and I am so grateful everyday.
Carlisle and Esme looked so proud of their son.
“Was that him on the phone at dinner?” Carlisle asked.
I nodded my head “He doesn‟t want to accept that things are over. He is upset
because I won‟t forgive him. That I don‟t want to talk to him. He has waited
outside a class of mine to find me. He calls. He is upset that he doesn‟t know
where I am or what is going on now.” I shook my head. “Just now, when he
called, he said I owed it to him to talk, that he loves me and that we WILL talk
soon. I am so scared and worried for Edward. This isn‟t right…for him to have to
deal with this. I feel horrible all the time, because I have gotten him involved with
everything.”
“You didn‟t get me involved with anything Bella, if I recall right…I stopped you. I
involved myself. I don‟t regret it…Because of that, I have you. When will you
understand, I don‟t care what I have to do. -
Whatever brought me to this point, with you now, it doesn‟t matter…Because I
have never been happier than when I am with you.” he said kissing me on the
lips.
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I could tell I was blushing but went on, “So that is pretty much it. I am trying so
hard to get past this and look forward to the future. He just isn‟t letting it go and I
worry that he is going to do something stupid. I don‟t know what to do. This is
not the guy I grew up with. Something has snapped and I don‟t know the person I
am dealing with now and that scares me.”
Emmett‟s booming voice startled me as he growled, “You tell me where I can find
this guy and I promise, you won‟t ever have to worry about him coming around
you again.”
The look on his face was pure anger and he was clenching his fists so hard his
knuckles were white and looked like they were going to pop right out of his skin.
He truly looked terrifying.
I let out a small nervous laugh. “Thank you Emmett but I don‟t want to get
anyone else involved in this. It‟s already complicated enough.”
He shook his head as he replied, “Bella, you are part of this family now and NO
ONE messes with my family. If this guy bothers you again, I will deal with him.”
I gave a small smile and looked at the rest of the family.
“Bella, did you see a doctor after the rape? Call the police? Anything?” Carlisle
asked.
I shook my head. “I thought about calling the police, but I didn‟t want to retell
this over and over again in court. I didn‟t want to be made out to look like a bad
person. I didn‟t want Billy, Jake‟s father, to know. Billy is not in good health and
this would probably kill him. He took up the role of dad when mine passed away.
I don‟t want him to be hurt.”
“I understand.” he said.
-
“So, that is how we met. Definitely not a story for our grandchildren.”
Edward gave me a squeeze and I realized what I had said and it made me smile.
Everyone had sat in silence, not knowing what to say next. Until there was a
squeak and Alice stood up clapping her hands together looking like she would
just burst from excitement.
Everyone gave her a confused look.
“Oh no, the pixie has an idea.” Emmett said shaking his head.
I looked at Edward and he was just smiling. It must mean when Alice has an idea,
watch out.
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“Oh, I know the perfect solution to this. Well not really, but it will help get your
mind off of things.”
I was completely confused now.
“Vacation!” she squealed. “All of us were going to plan a trip, not sure where, but
now you and Edward are coming too.”
I looked at her confused and then to Edward. He was chuckling to himself.
“I can‟t come on your vacation, Alice. You all already had a family thing planned.”
“Oh stop it, Bella. You are with Edward, you are family now. You‟re stuck with
us.” she came bouncing over to me and hugged me.
-
“Yeah, Bella…You have to come. I was getting bored with the fruits. Now I have
someone new to play with.” Emmett said with a huge grin on his face. Everyone
else just shook there head.
“She isn‟t a puppy Emmett.” Jasper told him.
“I didn‟t say she was. You all have come to bore me though. Bella will make things
interesting again.” He began to bounce just like Alice.
“So it is settled, you are coming.” Before I could say another thing, Alice grabbed
Jasper and took off to plan.
Esme and Carlisle stood and walked towards me and Edward.
“Bella dear, you are a strong young woman. If you need anything we are always
here. I am so glad Edward was there. We would have missed out getting to know
an amazing young lady.” Esme said pulling me into a hug.
“Yes, we are very glad to have met you. Know that you can always come to us.
Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share what you have been through.”
Carlisle gave me a very fatherly hug.
I could feel the tears coming again. They were amazing and so loving, it was nice
to feel.
“Well thank you both for raising such an amazing son. I don‟t know where I
would be without him in my life. Also for having me in your home.”
“You are welcome anytime.”
-
“Well I think we are going to get going home. It has been a long day.” Edward
said moving us towards the door.
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“Bella, can I get your number? In case I ever need to get a hold of you?” Esme
asked.
“Oh, mom, I forgot to tell you. But for obvious reasons that were talked about
earlier. Bella lives with me. She is using the spare bedroom.”
“Oh, that explains the blushing earlier when I asked that question.” Esme smiled.
“You are grown adults. I have no problems with that. You shouldn‟t feel the need
to hide it from us.”
“Alright mom, love you, talk to you soon.” Edward said and gave his mother a
hug. “See you too, dad.”
“Thank you for having me in your home.” I said.
“Come back soon.” said Carlisle, extending his hand for a shake.
“We will.”
~*~
EPOV
“So, I was right again.” I said as we drove home.
“Well you usually are, but what about this time?” Bella asked with a smirk.
“I told you they would love you.”
-
“I really like them. You have an amazing family Edward. No wonder you turned
out so perfect.”
“Ha, so you think I‟m perfect?”
“You know I do.”
We arrived at the apartment by now and made our way in. Bella headed straight
for the couch and plopped down sighing.
I tossed my keys on the table and sat down next to her and she placed her head
on my chest while I started playing with her hair.
“So, are you okay then?”
“I am fine. I am not going to let him ruin my happiness anymore. You have no
idea how good it felt to talk about. It really does feel like a weight has been lifted
off of me.”
“That‟s great Bella, I am glad to hear it.”
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She lifted her head up and looked me in the eyes.
“Thank you. For sharing your family with me. They are amazing Edward…” her
lips met mine for just a moment and that oh so familiar charge was back.
“You‟re amazing, Bella.” I weaved my fingers through her hair and brought my
lips to hers. Immediately she granted me access. I deepened the kiss and ran the
fingers of my free hand up and down her back. She let out a soft moan and
started to shift. I broke the kiss thinking that was what she wanted. I was wrong.
-
“Did you want to stop?”
“Actually I wanted to finish what we started earlier. Now that we are sure to have
no interruptions.”
I was taken aback by how forward she was just then. She moved herself to where
she was able to drape he leg over my legs, once again straddling me. I placed my
hands on her hips and tilted my head back against the couch to look at her. She
was beautiful as always. She literally took my breath away every time I saw her.
She placed her hands on my chest rubbing them up and down over the buttons.
Just the friction from that alone was torture but what an amazing torture it was.
She started to undo each button, one at a time. Making sure her fingers caressed
my skin as she did so.
I tightened my grip on her hips causing her to start grinding herself against me. A
moan escaped me; the sensation of having her body on mine, her grinding
against my every growing arousal was just too much to take. I wanted her, oh god
did I want her. Just imagining the thought of there being no material between us
was enough to bring me to my release but I held it back. I removed her shirt and
she reached behind her and undid her bra. I ran my hands up her tight stomach
up to her perfect breast and began to knead them with my hands. This caused
Bella to arch her back in pleasure and bite her lip. She was killing me.
I leaned forward pulling one of her nipples into my mouth, tracing it with my
tongue, feeling it harden with my touch. Bella gripped a handful of my hair
pulling it and my head back and she worked her way to my neck. The grinding
was becoming unbearable now and I just wanted to touch her, taste her, and feel
her on me. Suddenly she slid off my lap and down to the floor, keeping constant
contact at all times. Her hands ran up to the top of my pants and her fingers
started to work the button loose.
My head snapped up. “Bella, what are you doing?”
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“Shhh.” was all she said as she released me from my fabric prison.
-
She gently stroked my length up and down. Moistening her lips and placing a
sweet kiss on the tip. Out of no where her tongue darted out and swept tiny warm
and wet circles over me.
I thought I was dying from pleasure before, this was beyond that.
She kept a steady pace with her delicate hand as she leaned forward and took me
in her mouth. I wasn‟t going to last much longer. I instinctively placed my hand
on the back of her head, never wanting it to leave and grabbed the back of the
couch with the other. The tension of my climax was building and I wasn‟t going to
be able to hold it in any longer. I didn‟t know if she would want that, so I warned
her.
“Bella, I…I…I‟m not going to make it…Bella…Oh God…” but she didn‟t budge.
No longer being able to hold back, I released into her mouth. Bella looked at me
and smiled, and then went and licked me from base all the way to the tip.
“Oh my god Bella, that was, that was beyond words.” I said kissing her, tasting
me on her tongue.
But now, if she let me, it was her turn. I was dying to taste every inch of her.
~*~
BPOV
The feeling of pleasing Edward with the simple act that I just preformed made me
smile. I was in love with him and anything that made him happy made me happy.
I was resting my head on his chest running my fingers up and down his chest
when he spoke.
“Bella, we are not finished. Not at all.” with that he picked me up and carried me
into the bedroom, playfully tossing me on the bed.
-
“Edward, you don‟t have to repay the favor. I was more then happy to…” But he
cut me off.
“Bella, I have wanted to do this for a while…So sit back and relax.” he ran his
strong manly hands from my shoulders, down my breast to my stomach. This
caused me to squirm from the tickle. He made his way to the button on my skirt
and pulled it down.
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“My god Bella, you truly are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.”
I closed my eyes to focus on what he was doing and not the tightening feeling in
my abdomen caused just by his touch.
Edward kissed all the way up my foot, to my calf and reaching my inner thigh. He
started making sucking movements causing all the air in my lungs to leave in a
gasp. He made his way to my panties, kissing me through them.
He reached up with both hands, slowly pulling down the last article of clothing I
had on. He made his way back up when he had discarded the tiny material.
Getting closer and closer to the part that longed for his touch the most.
I felt his warm breath approaching my core and I couldn‟t take the snails pace he
was going.
“Edward, please.”
With that whimpered plea, I felt his warms lips kiss mine; he brought his hands
up to my inner thighs coaxing them to relax. I let them fall to the side, feeling
myself open some. Edward‟s breath hitched but then came the most erotic feeling
I had ever experienced. He slowly, oh so painfully slow, took the tip of his tongue
and glided it in my slit from bottom to top finally meeting its destination. I was
dying, all the foreplay had brought me to the point of almost release and I
couldn‟t take it. I needed to feel some part of him inside me.
-
As he attacked the most sensitive part of me, I guided one of his hands down. As
if catching my drift he inserted one of his lengthy fingers, then two. As he
assaulted my clit in the most pleasurable way, he built up a rhythm. I was about
to explode and Edward, in one final act, curved his fingers at the same time he
applied a gentle sucking motion to my already super sensitive clit. This threw me
over the edge. My legs tightened around his head, my back arched from the
sudden burst of pleasure and I screamed out his name.
He didn‟t stop, his fingers continued to thrusts as if milking every last ounce of
pleasure he could out of me. I couldn‟t help the noises I was making, they were
almost embarrassing. I pulled a pillow over my head screaming into it.
Finally Edward removed his fingers and I removed the pillow to look down at
him. He had a goofy grin on his face and bent his head down one last time, and
let his tongue clean up any remains of my release.
He crawled back up to me kissing any area he could get his luscious lips on, on
the way back up. Finally with him resting near me, wrapping his arms around me
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we laid on our sides facing each other. Both out of breath, foreheads touching,
staring into each others eyes.
We laid there looking deep into each others eyes, I was running my fingers
gingerly through his hair and he was caressing my cheek. This was all I needed in
my life to be happy. Edward was my life; I hoped to spend the rest of my life
always feeling like this, with him.
With the happy thought of a life spent with Edward, and sleep calling to my
exhausted body. I drifted off into the most wonderful dream I had ever had.
~*~
Chapter Thirteen
EPOV
Ever since the night of the dinner at my parent‟s house me and Bella couldn‟t
keep our hands off each other. We had all this free time now, and it was spent
finding creative ways to do everything but make love. I was willing to wait as long
as she needed, but I was more then happy with what we had done. Kissing Bella,
touching Bella, just the thought of it got me all wound up.
Another thing that had happened is my siblings and friends had apparently fallen
a little bit more in love with Bella than I thought.
If Alice wasn‟t on the phone with her, she was here when I arrived home from
work. Emmett had been serious about having a new friend to play with. He
instantly became like a big brother to her. Teasing her and wrestling around.
Jasper and Bella shared a common interest in literature and authors. Rose and
Bella didn‟t have very much in common, except for one thing. Rose had the same
thing happen to her that Bella had been through with Jake. So even though they
couldn‟t relate on any common interest, they shared something that none of the
others could understand.
We spent most of our time alone, getting as close we could. The rest of the time
was spent meeting the others for dinner or hanging out.
Mom would call a few times during the week and it caused me to laugh when I
picked up the phone and she asked for Bella, only pausing to give me a quick
hello.
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It was Friday night and me and Bella were relaxing watching a movie, well
attempting to watch a movie. It was a bit hard to concentrate when every so often
while holding her in my arms she would shift and her backside would graze
across the area that really shouldn‟t be teased.
“Bella, love, your killing me. If you are serious about wanting to watch this movie
can you please, please, please stop moving around like that?”
I felt her shake with laughter, and I was being serious. Two could play at this
game then.
-
I snuggled closer to her burying my face in the crook of her neck. I moistened my
lips and gave her neck a lingering kiss. Leaving a moist spot on her neck I then
started to blow cool air on the spot.
I could feel her shiver and arch her back into me. It was on.
I wrapped my arm seductively around her waist, up and under the hem of her
shirt. I heard a small moan come from her, so I started to trail kisses up her neck,
to her jaw. She tilted her face around, bringing her lips to mine.
I deepened the kiss, kneading her breast at the same time. She flipped herself
around so that we were face to face. Bringing her hand to my face and caressing
my cheek. I wrapped my arms around her waist again letting my hands rest on
her firm bottom, giving her a gentle squeeze. This caused her to throw her head
back, closing her eyes and biting her lips.
She slowly and seductively brought her hands down my chest, trailing my abs. All
the way down to the button on my jeans. She started to undo them and it was
more than obvious how happy I was that she was doing this. She ran her hand
down inside my boxers and grabbed me ever so softly. She began to stroke my
length as she circled my tip with her thumb. She made good use of the moisture
that began to form on the head and used it to increase the sensation of pleasure.
I increased my eagerness in my kissing, and she eagerly ruptured my mouth in
return. She also increased the pace of which she stroked me, causing me to thrust
into her hand. I wasn‟t going to make it much longer. She leaned over tracing my
ear lobe with her tongue and then sucking it into her warm mouth.
I was done for.
I don‟t know what came over me and I made this ridiculously embarrassing
grunting noise, burying my face into her neck and holding on to her. I couldn‟t
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help it. She placed loving kisses on the top of my head and ran the fingers of her
free hand through my hair.
-
I was just about to attempt to put the moves on her in return, when the phone
rang. One guess in my head who it could be. Still breathing heavily, Bella started
to stand to get it.
“Noooo…” I whined. “Let the machine get it please, Bella.” She swatted at my
hands and went for the phone anyway.
“It is probably Alice. She was going to call to finalize the plans for vacation.” she
said as she picked up the phone.
I buried my face in the cushion of the couch, cursing my sister and her crappy
timing. I was really starting to get annoyed with my having to share Bella with the
family. I loved that they loved her, but come on.
I decided to get up and take a shower. It was getting late and we already missed
most of the movie.
I got up and made my way to the bathroom, giving Bella a smirk as I left the
living room. I went straight to the bathroom and turned the shower on. I,
however, was feeling a little too tense, so I turned the shower off and let the bath
run. Soaking in a hot tub is what I needed.
The tub was filled and I stripped my clothes off and got in. My muscles instantly
loosing a soon as they hit the hot water. I closed my eyes and relaxed. I could
make out that Bella was still one the phone with Alice; I could hear her laughing
at something Alice had said.
I went on to wash off and shampoo my hair. I drained the tub and stood up to
grab a towel off the bar. Wrapping it around my waist and opening the bathroom
door. I could no hear any talking going on. I walked to my room to find Bella in
my bed, already dressed in her night shirt.
I jumped in bed with her and wrapped my arms around her nuzzling my face in
her neck.
“So what did Alice want?”
-
“To tell us where we are going.”
“So what is the verdict then?”
“Well, we are going someplace warm.”
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“Shock.” Alice was a fan of warm weather.
She giggled, pulling me closer to her.
“We are going to Jamaica!” she squealed.
“Nice, that should be fun. Especially with them. They are a funny group to
vacation with. They will keep us busy.”
“Well we were talking and figured that it would be best for each couple to have
their own room. That way if someone wants to stay out or up later than the others
it isn‟t bothering anyone.”
“Good idea there. Emmett and Alice are two of the most energetic people around.
You will never get any sleep with them in a room.”
“We are leaving next week. Alice has it all set up. Tickets and hotel reservations
are all set. We are all going to hang out tomorrow so we can plan out things we all
want to do while we‟re there. I have never been, so I have no clue. It is pretty
much up to all of you.”
“Well, I definitely want a good amount of alone time with you.” I said kissing her.
-
“Yeah, I figured that would be on the top of your list.” She said giving me a kiss
back.
“Alright, I am tired. I need some sleep if we are going to be spending time
planning with Emmett and Alice tomorrow.”
“That bad?” She asked.
“You know how all over the place they are normally with excitement? Picture it
ten times worse and neither of them agreeing on anything.”
“Oh, that should be fun.”
“Get some sleep.” I said. “Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”
“Night.” She said and snuggled into me as much as she could and let sleep over
take her.
~*~
BPOV
I was in the middle of an amazing dream. I was on the beach in Jamaica with
Edward. It was sunset and we were holding hands watching as the sun kissed the
water. He turned to me, looked me straight in the eyes and started to speak. I was
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hoping that it would be the three words that I had been waiting to hear. The three
words I had been dying to tell him.
“Bella, I just wanted you to know…I…I…” Everything started to shake as if there
was an earthquake and there were voices, growing louder and louder calling my
name.
-
I snapped my eyes open, screaming a bit, thinking something was terribly wrong
when I was met with two goofy look people at the foot of the bed.
Alice was standing on the end bouncing up and down saying, “Wake up sleepy
head. It is time to plan!”
Emmett, on the other hand, was standing with both of his massive arms pressed
on the edge shaking the bed right along with Alice repeating, “Bella, Bella, Bella,
Bella.” over and over.
“Damn it, you two, I was having a pretty amazing dream.
They both just laughed as I got grunted and got out of bed. I walked into the
kitchen and Edward was waiting for me with a cup of coffee. He gave me a sweet
smile as he handed me my cup.
“Sorry, love. I told you we were in for a long day.”
“Ugh.” Was the only thing I could come up with. “Just give me a minute to wake
up and I‟ll meet you in there with the others.” I said as I gave him a quick kiss. I
headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and pull my hair up before joining
them.
I walked in to the dining room to see Alice about to bounce out of her chair and
Emmett looking like it was Christmas morning. I said a quick hello to Rosalie and
Jasper and sat down next to Edward as Alice jumped up and said, “Okay, now
that we are all here, we can get started. I brought some brochures for everyone to
look at. We can all look through them and make a list of the things we would like
to do and then once we have all finished our lists, we can compare what we all
have and make some decisions. I want everyone to get to do at least one thing on
their list.”
She grabbed her bag and pulled out a bunch of brochures and started passing
them out. “Okay, let‟s get started.” She squealed as she clapped her hands
together excitedly.
We all just looked at her shaking our heads, a little overwhelmed.
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-
We all began to look over the brochures and make our lists. We would all make
comments about things that looked interesting and show the others. About an
hour and a half later, we decided to compare notes and each of us picked one
thing that we really wanted to do before we left Jamaica. We were going to do
these as a group, but of course, we could always go do other things on our lists if
we had the time.
So we each went around the table and told everyone what we chose to do.
Jasper started off by telling us he wanted to do the Jungle River Tubing Safari. It
sounded very relaxing and peaceful and we all agreed it sounded like fun.
Alice, of course chose the Dunns River Falls and Shopping Tour. The guys
grumbled and complained for a minute, but eventually decided that even though
shopping is not what they had in mind, the falls sounded really nice.
Rosalie chose swimming with the dolphins. I was very happy about that because
that was also on my list of things I wanted to do. Everyone else seemed to like the
idea of that as well.
Emmett, being…well, Emmett, decided he wanted to do the ATV Safari. I was not
thrilled about that and neither were Rose and Alice. Edward and Jasper, on the
other hand, thought it was cool and were excited about it.
Edward chose the Montego Bay Sunset Cruise. Emmett and Jasper laughed at
him for picking a “girly” adventure, but Edward explained it was also a pirate
cruise, and that made them a little more intrigued. I thought it was perfect, and
Alice and Rosalie seemed to agree.
I chose the Sea Trek Adventure. Everyone looked pleased at my choice and we
continued with what we thought Carlisle and Esme would like to do as well.
We thought Carlisle would like the Rainforest River Rafting and for Esme we
decided on the Half Day Tour from Montego Bay to Mayfield Falls because of
beautiful scenery and exotic flowers.
With that settled, Alice made plans for Rose and me to go shopping with her the
next day for everything that we would need before our trip.
The week passed by in a blur with so much to do.
The night before we were to leave, Edward and I stayed up talking most of the
night about things we wanted to do and how much fun we were going to have. I
had a hard time getting to sleep, I was so excited.
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I woke up to Edward kissing me and telling it was time to get up and get ready. I
happily got up and got dressed and an hour later we were headed for the airport
to meet the rest of the family.
~*~
Chapter Fourteen
EPOV
We arrived at the airport 2 hours early. I liked to watch the planes take off and
land. Bella wanted to look around the airport shops some, plus it never hurt to be
ahead of time. I called my family on the way to let them know we would be there
when they arrived, to call me and we would meet up.
We checked in at the desk and took our tickets. We had checked the luggage and
were just getting through security when my phone rang to let me know the others
were here now too. I told them we would meet them at the Starbucks in the food
court.
Bella and I made our way to the counter to order our coffees and took a seat once
they were done to wait for the group.
“So, you excited?‟ I asked her brining the coffee to my lips.
“Yes, I have never been on a vacation like this before, it will be a great experience.
Thanks for taking me.” She said with a smile.
“There is no one I would rather go with than you.” I reached over and grabbed
her hand, rubbing tiny circles on her soft skin.
“You‟re such a softy, Mr. Cullen.”
“Oh well, you bring it out in me.”
Which was true. I had never been this mushy with anyone else. I had never been
in love with anyone like I was in love with Bella. It was the real deal and I was
going to make sure on this trip she knew it. I had a special evening already
planned for just the two of us and I was going to lay all my cards on the table and
tell her I loved her. I just hoped she felt the same.
-
Just then, over Bella‟s shoulder, I saw Jasper and Emmett walking towards us
followed by the others. Alice looked like a kid in a candy store, her eyes darting
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back and forth from the stores in the area. Only my sister could be excited by the
prospect of shopping in an airport.
They all made their way to us and Esme took a seat at the table. The rest went to
order something to drink.
“Hello Esme.” Bella said giving my mother a hug.
“Oh, Bella, I am so glad you are coming with us on this trip. My family feels
complete now. My children each have someone to share this with. I am so
happy.”
“You‟re not going to cry are you mom?” I asked laughing to myself.
She swatted at me. “No, Edward. I am not going to cry. I am just happy all my
children have found happiness.”
“Yes, I have mom.” I squeezed Bella‟s hand and she turned red.
The others had received their orders and came to sit with us.
“Freaking Jamaica, MON! How excited is everyone?” Emmett said so loud, I
think half the airport heard him. Bella let out a giggle.
“So, what are we doing once we get there? Is today just a chill day?” Jasper asked.
“Yes, nothing but dinner tonight and bed early, for tomorrow is a busy day.” Alice
replied.
-
We all sat around chatting for a while until the women all decided to go and get
some reading material for the flight and check out the stores. The guys all went
and found seats in our area where the plan would load. Jasper and Carlisle settled
in and opened the book they brought, Emmett took out his Nintendo DS and I
pulled out my iPod and closed my eyes.
I must have dosed off for a bit because I was woken by a kiss from Bella and her
telling me we were boarding. I grabbed my bag and Bella‟s hand and headed to
the line to board the plane.
Once in our seats, Bella grabbed my hand and rested her head on my shoulder.
“You alright?”
“Yes, I just have never been a fan of flying. Well, it is really mostly the take off
and the landing. But still I get a little freaked.”
“Don‟t worry. I am here with you. Just think of amazing sandy beaches and warm
ocean water. Me and you…kissing as the sunsets.”
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“Mmmm, sounds pretty good to me.” she said leaning into me and giving me a
kiss.
Just then the pilot came over the speakers and announced we would be taking off
soon. The flight attendants went through their safety song and dance and we
started to move. Bella gripped my hand tighter and as we gained speed about to
lift off, she buried her face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and
hummed the melody to the song I played her weeks ago. Finally we were airborn
and she lifted her head.
“See, we are fine.” I said kissing the top of her head.
-
Emmett being, well… Emmett, gave a loud “WOOOHOOO” from the seat behind
us and leaned forward talking about how awesome that was. The passengers
sitting around us looked at him with amusement.
Bella was shaking from a mix of nerves and laughter. We talked about what we
were going to do while there and she was excited to do all the activities we had
planned.
Eventually we ended up falling asleep only to be woken up by the captain
announcing our impending landing and being reminded to fasten our seat and
put our tray tables up.
The landing wasn‟t as bad as the take off for Bella. Talking to her about the things
I wanted to do alone with her seemed to work as a distraction like I thought it
would and she was shocked when the plan came to a stop.
“That was very tricky.” She smirked.
“Yes, but all of it was very true.”
Bella‟s cheeks went red and I chuckled at her response.
We made our way off the plane, gathering in a small group, before heading off to
grab the rental cars.
Emmett and Carlisle went to pick up the cars, while the rest of us went to retrieve
the luggage. Once we had gotten all that settled we were on our way to the hotel
for a little alone time until dinner.
With the cars packed and everyone accounted for, we made our way to the hotel.
When we pulled up everyone had a look of amazement on their faces. The place
we were staying was amazing. It was called “The Caves”. It was a collection of ten
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private villas atop a cliff, overlooking the ocean. You were able to jump off the
cliffs and swim right outside your door.
-
We made our way to check in and each couple received a room key and a bell boy
to help us to our villa. We shared our room numbers with each other and parted
ways.
“Oh my god, Edward. I have never seen anything like this. It is amazing.”
“I know. Alice sure knows how to vacation, doesn‟t she?”
“It is just beautiful.”
She entwined her hand with mine as we followed the man to our destination.
He stopped at a cottage and placed the key in the door.
The cottage itself was like a little tropical A-frame hut, with thatched roofs, and
constructed of wood and stone, with a breathtaking view of the Caribbean Sea.
The attendant turned to Bella and me and said, “This is One Drop. It is the closest
to the ocean. It features a queen size canopy bed draped with mosquito netting
and an outside shower. It has a seating area looking towards the ocean through
foliage, and a small writing desk under a beautifully hand painted glass window.
If there is anything that we can do to help you, please dial 0 on your phone and
we will be more than willing to meet any needs.”
Bella thanked him as I tipped him and he left.
“Edward, this place, this room…I can‟t believe it.” She wrapped her arms around
my neck and kissed me so passionately.
-
I gave in, relishing in the taste of her, but soon broke it to take a mini-tour with
her.
“Ha, it really does have an outside shower. That is something I have never done
before.” she said.
“Yeah, that may take some getting used to. Good thing it is warm here.”
We went back inside and unpacked.
After finishing with that, we realized we had a good amount of time before dinner
and decided to lay down for a bit.
Bella grabbed the information booklet on the locations off the desk and lay in bed
with me, looking at the local nightlife and restaurants. I l lay next to her twirling
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her hair with my fingers. The happiest I think I have ever been. Eventually, we
must have drifted off to sleep, because we were both woken by the ringing of the
phone.
“Hello.” Bella said sounding just like she has just woken up. “Okay, sure. You just
want to meet us in our room then? Ok, see you then…Bye.” and she hung up.
“The family is going to meet us in an hour here and we are going to go to
Rockhouse. It is a restaurant down the way.”
I let Bella shower first because she would take longer to get ready. She hurried up
and then passed the shower off to me. It was an odd experience showering out in
the open like this. However, it was pretty free feeling.
I finished showering and went to the bedroom to get dressed. I kept it simple,
black slacks and a light blue button down shirt. I rolled the sleeves because it was
a bit warm. I attempted to do something with -
my hair, but it was forever hopeless. I put on my socks and shoes and made my
way into the living room to wait for Bella.
I didn‟t have to wait long.
Bella stepped out of the bathroom dressed so beautiful. She wore her hair back in
a French twist with little tendrils coming down around her face. She had simple
stud earrings in and a simple silver chain necklace. Her dress was a dark navy
blue almost black. A sleeveless V-neck that cinched at the waist and flowed freely
hitting her just above the knee. She had on a pair of simple black heels. She was
stunning.
“Bella, you…you look beautiful.”
She gave me a small smile and I could see the blood slowly creep to her cheeks.
“You look very handsome there yourself.” she said as she came to wrap her arms
around me.
I lightly brushed her lips with mine, pulling her into a tight embrace.
Just then there was a knock at the door, followed by Emmett complaining that he
was hungry.
I opened the door to find every single person dressed so elegantly and all huddled
together as if to burst right through.
“Come in.”
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“We just want to check out your pad. Ours is amazing.” Rose said. She was
dressed in a red strapless dress that went just to her knees and a pair of red
pumps.
-
Alice was behind her, straining her neck to check out the cottage. She wore a light
silver halter dress that also stopped at her knees with just a little decoration
around the neckline.
The guys were dressed pretty much like me, nice slacks and button down shirts.
Mom and Dad followed them in taking in the décor of our place.
“Oh Edward, your cottage is lovely, right over the ocean.” she said stopping to
hug me. She then saw Bella and I thought I heard a small gasp.
“Bella darling, you look absolutely breathtaking.” Bella‟s face started to turn red
again.
“Thank you Esme…as do you.”
“OK people, if I don‟t eat soon, I am going to die. Can we please get a move on?”
Emmett whined.
With that we headed out.
We made our way to the restaurant which was located inside another resort. The
view was amazing. We had a table outside over looking the water. It was dark
now and the building looked liked it was made out of broken cobblestone. The
water went on, for what seemed like forever, no other land in sight. It was
amazing.
There was a great breeze that brought a floral scent wafting past us mixed in with
the aroma from the restaurant itself. Our waiter came over and took our drink
orders. We all picked some fruity drink off the menu to try, allowing each other to
taste to see what our next would be.
-
After looking over the menu we decided on what we wanted. Carlisle, Emmett
and Jasper ordered the Grilled steak with potato, Esme ordered the Coconut
chicken, Rose went for the Jamaican Stir Fry, Alice, Bella and I decided to split
the seafood platter, as we weren‟t that hungry.
Dinner was spent going over our plans for tomorrow and the rooms we got.
Trying to find a night club to go to, which Esme and Carlisle decided to opt out of,
saying they were too old for that.
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We were all beat and the girls were a little tipsy by the time we made it back to
the resort. We said our goodnights and parted ways till the morning.
Bella had her arms wrapped around my waist and I was supporting her weight.
One fruity drink too many, I thought to my self and laughed. We made our way
inside and I carried her to the bedroom. She was giggling as I laid her on the bed.
I started to remove her shoes and tossed them behind me. I helped her sit up and
unzipped her dress. She held out her hands for me to remove her from the soft
material. I pulled the dress forward and over her soft pale arms. Once it was off
her arms, she wrapped them around my neck and lifted her bottom so that I
could pull the dress the rest of the way off.
Bella didn‟t let go of my neck and she started deep into my eyes as if she had
something to say, but no words came out. She looked serious, beautiful and
sobered up.
~*~
BPOV
I would never understand how I became so lucky. I was with this amazing man
who saved me, who helps me every single day. He brought me to this amazing
island, with his amazing family and now he was being so loving and caring with
me in my tipsy state. The simple action of him helping me get ready for bed made
me feel this outstanding amount of love. How gentle and good he was being was
such a turn on. He wasn‟t making it sexual, to him it was nothing more then
helping me.
He may not make it sexual, but I was going to.
-
I looked deep into his eyes, arms wrapped around his neck, fingers grazing his
beautiful hair. I pulled him closer to me, bringing our lips together as one. He
ravaged my mouth and I his in return. He was leaning in between my knees, both
his hands planted on either side of me, firmly on the bed. I reached my hands
down to his belt and started to unbutton and unzip it and they dropped to the
floor. I could already feel his arousal as I grazed my hands down his boxers.
I moved to his shirt making quick work of the buttons and removed that as well,
dropping it to the ever growing pile of clothes on the floor.
I scooted back on the bed, pulling on the back of his neck, hoping he would
follow. Never breaking our kiss, he did indeed follow, bringing his warm toned,
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body in immediate contact with mine. The weight of him was amazing on me.
Every curve and indent, every amount of warm flesh met mine.
Something had gone off in me and I needed him and wanted him so bad. I
wanted to feel him in me, on me, kissing me, touching me. Anything and
everything. My body yearned for every possible touch from him. I was like a mad
woman; I had to have him, now.
I pushed him so that he rolled over onto his back and I hooked my fingers into his
boxers pulling them down.
“Oh, god, Bella.” Edward whimpered.
“I need you Edward.” I moaned.
I started to kiss down his chest, running my hands down the length of his torso,
finally reaching the destination that I was looking for. I slowly took him into my
mouth. I felt him tense at the sensation of my lips wrapped around him and his
breathing started to pick up. I started to take his length in deeper and pull him
out, I repeated that until he was trembling. I pulled him out then and glided my
tongue in circles over his tip and he moaned “Bella, Bella please.” I smiled to
myself at the sound of him begging me not to tease him. I ran my tongue from
base to tip, then again took him in my mouth to finish him off. His warm liquid
filled my mouth as he called my name out and grabbed the sheets.
-
He took a moment to catch his breath and then grabbed me and flipped me over.
“I am repaying the favor tonight.” he said as he brought his lips to mine, but only
for a moment. Soon he was trailing kisses down my jaw to my cheek, making his
way to my collar bone and then between my breasts. He reached behind me,
unclasping my bra and throwing it on the pile of our clothes in the floor. He
licked a trail to my left breast, kneading the right one with his hand. He took my
already erect nipple into his mouth, lightly letting his teeth graze it. I arched my
back in pleasure, biting my lip.
He switched sides, paying equal attention to the other, before moving further
south.
The anticipation was killing me.
My body started to shiver just from the pure pleasure of his touch. He bypassed
the spot that begged to be touched by him as he hooked his fingers in the top of
my panties running them back and forth at the edge. All while he was kissing my
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inner thigh, moving up to kiss my core through my panties, causing them to
moisten even more than they already were.
“Edward, Oh Edward, please…” now I was the one begging.
I heard him chuckle to himself and felt the fabric around my waist pull down over
my leg. I felt the warmth of his breath creep closer to my awaiting core and it
screamed for him to touch me, lick me. Soon enough my request was answered. I
felt his warm, wet tongue enter me, pressing past to find the nub that called for
his massage. And massage it he did.
As soon as his tongue made contact, it was the most incredible experience I had
ever felt. Like an electric shock. It took everything in me not to grab the back on
his head and pull his hair. I was biting so hard on my lip, trying to hold out, that I
thought I tasted blood. Then he went to push me over the top like last time,
inserting his fingers. Thrusting them in and out and each thrust driving me to the
point of climax. My breath had become ragged, I writhed under him, every part of
me felt like mini tremors were erupting all over.
-
I was moaning and calling out his name, when I finally let it go and climaxed like
I had never before in my life thought possible. My legs tighten around his head
and he slowly tortured every ounce of pleasure out of me, occasionally sweeping
his tongue back over my already swollen clit.
Once my legs released, I was far from done with him. He moved his way back up
my body and started to kiss me. I could feel his hardness on my leg and out of
instinct wrapped my legs around him. He was taken aback by that and seemed
unsure of what was happening.
“Bella, are you sure?” He asked searching my eyes for some form of doubt. He
was right I wasn‟t quite sure I was ready, but I wasn‟t done with him tonight and
needed to feel him some how.
“No, your right, I don‟t know why but I can‟t do that just yet…But I need you…I
need something else something more…Please we need to do something else.” and
then something struck me we could try. “I don‟t want you to enter me, ok… but I
need to feel you there. Can we try that, please?”
“Bella, I…I am not sure I have that kind of control. I don‟t know.”
I wasn‟t taking his doubt for a minute. I flipped him over and straddled him.
“Then I will control it. But I want to try something.”
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With that I lowered myself onto his smooth, hard length. Not allowing him to
enter me, but having that part of him in contact with that part of me was the most
erotic feeling ever. Slowly I began to move myself back and forth, and due to me
being wet from his tongue and my climax, it made for an amazing sensation.
Edward brought his hands to my hips and dug his fingers into me as I increased
the speed. It wouldn‟t take much, seeing as we were both already so worked up,
but it was so worth it. Because when we both reached release this time, at the
same time, calling out each others names…It was amazing.
I collapsed onto him and laid there to catch my breath.
-
“My god Bella, I have never, ever in my life done that…But, oh I so want to all the
time now.”
That caused me to laugh. “That good, huh?”
“There aren‟t even words to describe what that was. No words.”
We lay there, wrapped in each others arms, and drifted into a peaceful sleep.
~*~
Chapter Fifteen
EPOV
My eyes fluttered open to the most amazing sight I had ever seen. Bella was still
completely nude from last night. She was lying on her stomach with the light
cream sheet from the bed draped over her bottom. Her beautiful chestnut hair
spread over her back and the pillow, and a few small pieces fell over her face. She
had both hands under her pillow and her left leg was peaking out from under the
sheets. A small smile played across her face while she slept.
She was exquisite.
I lay there for who knows how long, just taking in every inch of her, committing
her to memory.
Suddenly, Bella‟s eyes began to open and her eyes met mine. She sighed and
smiled.
“Have I ever told you how much I love waking up to you?” she asked.
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“No, but it can‟t be anywhere close to as much as I love waking up to you.”
She scooted over and wrapped herself around me, bringing her lips to mine. I
would spend the rest of my life kissing Bella if I could and I was certainly going to
aim for that goal.
The time came for us to get up and dressed for the day. We had enough time to
order breakfast and take showers and then our day was packed with doing the
activities we each planned.
“Why don‟t you take a shower and I will order breakfast and then we can eat it
and I will get ready. “ I said.
“Sounds good.”
-
“Anything particular you would like to eat?”
“Surprise me. But make sure there is coffee.” Then with a smile and a kiss she
grabbed her towel and was off.
I went ahead and ordered our room service and then made a call to the others to
see if they were awake and where we planned on meeting. Once I was off the
phone there was a knock at the door and I jumped up to get it.
“Hello, room service.” The man said as he brought in our food.
“Yes, thank you. Just set it on the table.”
“Is there anything else you need this morning, Mr. Cullen?”
“No, we are set.”
“You have a wonderful day then.” And with that he left.
I set everything up at the table just as Bella walked in. She had he hair wrapped
up in a towel, and she was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a green and pink
stripped tank top.
“Yum, is that bacon I smell?” she asked as she came over to the table taking a
seat.
“Yes, and pancakes, scrambled eggs, orange juice and coffee.”
-
“Wow, did you order the whole menu?” she asked teasing.
“Well, I also got fresh strawberries and whipped cream, but I can always keep
that for just me.”
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“You wouldn‟t do that to me.”
“Of course I wouldn‟t silly.”
We sat chatting about what we were doing today and after we were finished Bella
was off to finish her hair and I went to shower.
Twenty minutes later we were locking the door behind us to find the others to
head off for the day. It wasn‟t that hard, we could hear Emmett almost
immediately laughing about something and Rose screaming her head off.
We made our way towards the screams to see Rose standing outside jumping
around and Emmett trying to contain himself as he carried what looked like a
hotel cup out to the yard in front of the cottage.
“What is going on here?” I asked as we approached.
“SPIDER! Huge, nasty, creepy spider. In the bed when we woke up." Rose
screamed, obviously shaken.
I tried to contain my laughter, not understanding the reaction over a bug.
“I thought from all the noise, you were being murdered.”
-
“Might as well have been. The way Emmett was dealing with the thing, I doubt he
would have reacted any faster than he did with this.”
“Oh Rose baby, you know I would kick some ass if someone was touching you.
This however, was a tiny bug.” He walked over to wrap his arms around her.
“Don‟t you dare touch me, you big ass. You think it is funny; you make fun of my
fear. FINE. You can sleep alone tonight. No lovie Rose, don‟t baby me either.” She
said and walked back in the cottage to grab her things.
“Nice one Em. Way to piss off your girl on vacation. This should be interesting.” I
was still trying to hold back laughter; I did not want to feel the wrath of Rose.
“Shut up.” Emmett said stomping his foot and heading inside.
“Wow, that was an interesting way to start the day.” Bella said.
“Emmett and Rose will be Emmett and Rose. I bet they are drooling all over each
other by noon.”
“I take it this happens often then?”
“This is an everyday thing for them. It is what they do best.” I said with a chuckle.
Just then the rest of the gang came up.
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“What are you laughing about Edward?” Alice asked.
-
“Emmett and Rose are having a lovers spat.”
“Again?” asked Jasper.
“It is part of their daily routine.” Carlisle joked.
“Oh stop. It is how they keep things spicy.” Esme joked .
“Spicy is right. Rose could make that boy cry if she wanted.” Jasper laughed.
“She has. A few times.” Alice told us.
Just then Emmett and Rose came back out closing the door. Neither one looked
too pleased, but joined the group.
“Alright, is everyone ready to head out?" Carlisle asked.
“Yes.” we all replied.
We headed off to the front to wait for the shuttle that was to take us to the first
activity, which was Esme‟s pick to the Mayfield Falls tour.
We made it to the falls in no time and went to find our tour guide.
We were introduced to a young guy about my age named Eric. He was a Brit, who
moved here 8 years ago with his family and knew this area he said like the back of
his hand. We started off and soon were -
immersed in the beautiful rainforest. We found out through Eric that Mayfield
had two waterfalls and twenty one pools throughout the land.
The girls would “ooh” and “aah” when we saw a rare flower or a humming bird
which seemed to be every few feet. Esme couldn‟t take her eyes off of all the wild
violets and Hibiscus. She loved a certain plant pointed out to us called The Leaf of
Life. We had made our way through the tour after 2 hours and made it to the
campsite to have some lunch. Located near there was a petting zoo that the girls
wanted to check out and play with the bunnies.
Emmett being Emmett wanted to see the bunnies too, which left me and Jasper
laughing at him as he skipped off with the girls.
“He is so just trying to win bonus point with Rose.” Jasper said.
“Ha! No, I think he really wants to play with the bunnies.”
“You know, you wouldn‟t know that the man, as big as he is, would love little tiny
fur balls.”
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We sat there watching the others feed the ducks and play with the other animals.
Bella looked adorable trying to get a duck to eat out of her hand. Every time the
duck would come near her to take the food she would get a little scared and pull
her hand back. I think the duck was starting to get upset that she wouldn‟t give
him the bread.
“So,” Jasper said “How is Bella doing? She looks like she is having a great time.”
“She is amazing. I think she has been doing really well since she told all of you
what happened.” I didn‟t take my eyes off Bella. “She felt better knowing that
others who she trusted knew. Like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She
said she felt like she could breathe again. I guess that is good.”
“But you still worry about her?” Jasper asked.
-
“Of course, I worry that something will happen to ruin all the progress we have
made. She deserves to be happy, she is an amazing person, and I love her.”
Jasper‟s head snapped and looked at me. “You love her?”
“Yes.”
“Have you told her?” He asked.
“No.” I said looking at him now. “I am afraid I will scare her away. I mean I don‟t
want her to be rushed.”
“I would say she loves you too. I don‟t think you would be rushing anything.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
“Because, I can feel it when you‟re together. You both emit this feeling of love. It
is crazy. Not to mention, the way she looks at you.”
“What do you mean?”
“After Rose was raped, I remember how broken and hurt she was. She just looked
like a light had been cut and she was no longer Rose. Then she met Emmett, he
healed her, it was amazing. I knew the minute she fell in love with him because
the Rose I knew as a child. The feisty, life loving Rose was back. It was as nothing
had happened. Bella looks like that. She looks like a person in love and happier
than she has ever been. You know that is because of you.”
My heart burst at the thought that she loved me too, like I loved her.
-
“Thanks man. I think I just needed to know it was possible.”
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“Well it is very possible. So when are you going to tell her?”
“I don‟t know.” I said. “I was thinking of a special dinner, just the two of us while
here.”
“That sounds great. I am sure she would feel special and I am sure she will tell
you she loves you too.”
“I hope you‟re right.”
The others were headed back. We needed to get a move on as we had more things
to do today. Next up was Emmett‟s ATV Safari. Everyone was excited as we got to
ride around instead of walk.
Once we got to the next location we met up with our tour guide and we went
through a safety training lecture of what not to do, and how to take in the sites.
Once we were done with that, we all went out to be given our helmet and ATV.
Once everyone had a helmet strapped on, we got on the ATV‟s and started off
following the guide. We were shown around Mount Zion and Johnny Cash‟s
home. We saw the Rose Hall Great House and the guide stopped to tell us about
one of the most Haunted places in all of Jamaica.
Apparently in the 1700s, a woman named Annie Palmer a French born petite
woman moved to the island to marry a powerful man who owned Rose Hall and
thousands of acres of sugar plantation. It is said that she pined greatly for the
bright lights of Paris, and found life on the island to be a hardship. Annie was
feared by the slaves who lived on and worked the plantation. She ruled with an
iron fist, and defiance, or even perceived insolence, was answered with public
whippings, torture in the dungeon, or even death. Annie started her day by
stepping to the small balcony, and issuing the orders of the day to the assembled
slaves in the yard. Her orders often included punishments and executions.
-
Annie started taking slaves to her bed. When the Mistress of the House lavished
her attentions on a slave, that man's days were numbered. When Annie tired of
her lover, she would murder him and have him buried in an unmarked grave. We
know little of her first husband, John Palmer, except to say that she murdered
him in his bed as well. Perhaps he caught her in the act, or maybe she just tired of
him too.
These were rather lawless times, and the sudden death of the master of the estate
seemed not to cause any investigation. Regardless, Annie cultivated the image of
being a tough and merciless mistress, at least in part to keep her from appearing
to be easy prey. These were difficult times to be a woman, particularly a rich
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widow in a country frequented by pirates and the like. Annie found another way
to remain independent and in control... Voodoo.
Many of the slaves were practitioners of the art, and in order to curry favor and
live longer, they taught Annie everything they knew about magic, particularly
Voodoo. This was to include human sacrifice, particularly of infants, whose bones
she used in practicing the black magic. Soon Annie was known far and wide as
"The White Witch of Jamaica". Her reputation for ruthlessness and magic powers
served to keep her safe from those who would normally consider her a target.
Even so, Annie found time and reason to marry two more husbands, which she
eventually dispatched in a similar manner, acquiring their wealth in the process.
One has to assume they were foreigners, unacquainted with Annie's reputation
on the island.
Annie's Overseer was a slave known to be quite a powerful Voodoo practitioner, a
fact he managed to conceal from Annie, at risk to his own life. The Overseer had a
daughter who was engaged to marry another handsome young slave on the
plantation. Unfortunately, Annie's lustful eye fell upon the young man, and he
was soon called upon to pleasure the mistress of the house. The Overseer knew
what to expect, and began to make preparations to protect the young man from
Annie's "disposable lover" policy.
However, Annie did not follow her usual pattern, and she killed the young man
that same night, instead of playing with him for a week or so. Perhaps he objected
to her attentions and declared his love for another. Whatever the reason, the
young man was dead, the Overseer's daughter grief-stricken, and the Overseer
was filled with helpless rage. Annie must die, at all costs.
-
A special grave was prepared in the woods, within sight of the Great House, using
Voodoo ritual and markings. The Overseer then entered the house, confronting
the White Witch, and engaged her in magical and physical battle. He succeeded
in killing her, sacrificing his own life in the process. Slaves who were privy to the
Overseer's plan entombed the body of the White Witch in the specially prepared
grave... a grave designed to keep her from rising and walking the plantation
again. But they failed to complete the ritual properly, and the White Witch is said
to roam the Great House to this day
Now that everyone was completely freaked out, we made our way back to the
Base to enjoy drinks at the Oasis Bar. By the time we were done and loaded back
into the car to go back to the resort, we were all beat. We decided that tonight we
would just order in and all eat at mom and dad‟s cottage after getting cleaned up.
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~*~
BPOV
After the ATV trip and that story I was going to have nightmares. We were almost
back to the resort and my head was resting on Edward's chest. He was sweetly
playing with my hair, placing kissing on my head every now and then.
We made it back, each going to our rooms and got cleaned up and then made our
way to Esme and Carlisle‟s room. We all ordered something different that way we
could try a little bit of everything. When the food arrived, we all picked from each
others plate and talked and laughed about anything and everything.
I had to step back and laugh at my life at this moment. I basically had a family in
an instant. I hadn‟t felt this much love and happiness since before my parents
were killed. Esme and Carlisle made me feel so welcomed and loved all the time.
And the rest of them followed right in line.
I had never really had girlfriends, Jake was the only friend I had ever had and
now I had Rose, Alice, Emmett and Jasper. All welcomed me with open arms and
treated me like I had always been there.
Then there was Edward. I was head over heels in love with this man. I wanted
nothing more than to spend the rest of my life feeling like I do when I am with
him. I knew that with him I would never feel anything less then perfect. I loved
him and I was pretty sure he loved me, and it was time to tell him. -
Time to finally give him all of me, mind body and soul. Because I think from the
moment I met him I was already his anyway.
We finished dinner and headed back to our room. We were all exhausted from
today‟s activities and knew that we had a full day ahead of us tomorrow. As I lay
cuddled in Edward‟s arms, I had decided that I was going to finally tell him how I
felt and I was going to do it before we left Jamaica. I wanted it to be special. With
my mind made up and my heart feeling lighter than it had in a long time, I finally
drifted off to sleep, with a smile on my face.
~*~
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Chapter Sixteen
BPOV
I was snuggled up in Edward‟s loving embrace. My eyes had just opened and I
was face to face with him. His lids however were still closed. I couldn‟t help but
stare at him, taking in every beautiful feature up close. I traced my fingers over
his eyebrows and down his nose to his perfect lips. Just as I had finished tracking
his lips a smiled started to play on his perfect face.
“That is a really nice way to wake up. You should do that more often.” He said
with his eyes still closed and sleep heavy on his voice.
“Sorry. I didn‟t mean to wake you.”
“Nonsense, it felt amazing.” His eyes opened and he stared deep into mine.
“Well then, I will have to remember.”
He brought his hand to cup my face and leaned in placing a chaste kiss on my
lips. I let out a whimper once he pulled back.
“What was that for?” he laughed.
“I didn‟t want you to pull away so soon.” I said feeling the blush rise to my
cheeks.
Getting a playful look on his face he looked at me and wiggled his brows. “Oh
really?”
Next thing I knew Edward was hovering over me and he kissed me again on my
lips. He then went to my cheek making his way to the base of my neck then to my
chest. He sat back on his knees and brought his large soft hands up to my
stomach and started running them up the length of my torso with my shirt being
pulled up too.
-
I arched my back allowing him to wiggle my shirt off. I heard a gasp as he took
my naked breast in. Soon he brought his hands to them, massaging them.
Leaning back down taking my left nipple into his mouth ever so slowly.
“Mmmm.” I moaned in obvious pleasure.
He liked that and made his way to my stomach, his eyes never leaving mine. I
didn‟t wear any underwear or pants to bed seeing as the shirt I had been wearing
looked more like a dress on me.
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Then, instead of moving his hands up, I felt them slide down my body, to my
hips. He continued to kiss his way down my body, his lips meeting where his
hands had rested. I was so aroused by now I couldn‟t take it.
“Edward, don‟t tease.” it came out as a whispered moan.
I felt his body shake as he moved his kisses to the place that was screaming for
them. I felt his tongue sweep into me and my back arched in response. He had
placed his hands on my inner thighs massaging them as he continued his
wonderful assault on my center. He then removed one hand and inserted his long
loving fingers in me and began to pump.
That was it, I was done for.
“Yes Edward, Oh god!” I couldn‟t take it.
With a few final thrust from his hands and a sweeping of his tongue I climaxed.
My body left trembling as my hands grip handfuls of his hair. My breath still
ragged I looked down at him. A smile plastered across his face as he made his way
back up.
-
“Now that is an amazing way to greet the day.” I said. Before taking his lips to
mine.
“I would be more than willing to help you greet the day like that everyday if you
wish”
“You better watch it mister, I might just take you up on that offer.”
“I hope so.” he said and then his lips again were on mine.
We were locked lip to lip for who knows how long in the silence of the morning.
Only hearing waves crashing in the background. We must have been pretty lost in
each other for there was a knock on the door that scared the shit out of both of us,
causing me to let out a small scream.
Edward laughed but threw on his pants making his way to answer the door. I took
this time to make my way to the bathroom and throw on my nightshirt and
underwear.
I heard chatter coming from the other room and Edward arguing. Confused I
made my way out to the living room area of the cottage to find Edward in a stare
down with Alice. She had her hands on her hips and she was a few inches from
Edward looking up at him with a glare on her face I had never seen before.
“Ummm... What‟s all this about.” I asked
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“Edward is being a hog, I haven‟t spent any alone time with you since we got here.
I want a few hours and he is being a jerk about it.” She said her eyes never leaving
Edwards‟ face.
“Alice, I haven‟t had much alone time with her either. We have been doing things
together remember?”
-
“Edward you get her at night and in the morning. All I am asking for is a few
hours to have some girl bonding time. Esme, Rose and I are going to the spa, and
we all want Bella to come. Mom said so Edward. You lose.” She said with a smirk
on her face.
“Edward, if they want to borrow me for a bit, I think you will live. I would love to
spend some time with the girls.” He looked at me with a pout, his eyes that of a
sad puppy. “Oh stop, we are going to be here on the property, I will be back later.”
“Great! “ Alice squeaked “Bella get dressed and come meet us in Esme‟s cottage.
We are going to have so much fun. Edward, the guys are all going to hang out. If
you‟re not to busy being a party pooper you could join them.” and with that she
skipped out of the room.
I walked over to Edward who still was wearing his little puppy pout. I wrapped
my arms around his neck and he placed his forehead on mine.
“I am really not liking having to share you with them.”
I gave a small laugh “It is only for an hour or so. We have all the time in the
world. I will be back.”
“Fine, lets get dressed I will walk you to Esme‟s and meet up with the guys.”
We both got dressed and brushed our teeth. Locking up the room and making our
way to his mom and dad‟s.
We could hear that everyone must be there, Emmett‟s laughter filled the air,
growing louder as we approached.
“Well, well, you grace us with your presence Edward. I heard you were giving
Alice trouble.” Esme spoke.
-
“Yes he was.” Alice said sticking her tongue out at Edward. He just shook his
head.
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“I thought I taught you kids to share.” that caused me to laugh and even Edward
gave a small chuckle. “Don‟t worry my son. We will bring her back after we have
some ladies time to ourselves. You men go do something productive.”
“I say we head to the bar.” came Emmett‟s idea.
“Emmett, it is like eight in the morning” Jasper said.
“And?”
“And, alcoholic much?”
“Oh please, we are on vacation. I don‟t do that at home.”
“One would hope not, son.” Carlisle said giving Emmett a slap on the back.
“Well it is time for us to go, so goodbye boys, we will see you in a few.” Said Alice
as she walked over to me. Edwards grip on my hand tightened. Alice saw this and
rolled her eyes. “Say your goodbye Edward, you big baby.”
Edward gave her a dirty look before her turned to me cupping my face and
planting one hell of a kiss on me. I became totally unaware that we had an
audience as his tongue traced my bottom lip and I took it in my mouth. He placed
his hand on my lower back pulling me closer and I threw myself into the kiss.
We were eventually pulled apart by not only Emmett and Rose‟s gags, Esme‟s
“Ahem”, but Alice‟s tugging on my arm.
-
“Man Edward, what do you think we are going to do to her? Keep her.” Rose
laughed.
Ignoring the family he leaned in to my ear and said “We will finish that kiss later.
I‟ll miss you.” and with a peck on the lips I was dragged out by the girls.
We made our way to the spa at the resort, laughing on the way about the boys and
Edward being such a mush. We walked through the doors and gave our names.
We were handed a menu like you would see at a restaurant and asked to pick
what we wanted. We decided on the works. What ever they offered we took.
First up was body scrubs. We made our way down the hall to the area where this
would take place. They could only take two at a time so Alice and Rose went first
while me and Esme waited outside chit chatting.
“I am really glad Edward has found you dear.” She said out of the blue
I could feel the blush start to creep up my face as I looked at her.
124
“I have never seen him as happy as I have seen him lately. That is because of
you.”
“Thank you.” was all I could think to say back.
“No darling, thank you. You have no idea what it is like when a mother can see
that each of her children has found love.” this caused me to choke.
“You think he is in love with me.”
-
She smiled at me and nodded. “Yes, Bella. He is very much in love with you. I can
see it in the way he looks at you. His silly little display of not wanting to share.
Every touch he gives you. He fills the room with this amazing feeling of love
whenever you are near him. Ask the others. We all see it too.” She said smiling
“Has he not told you?”
I shook my head.
“Well he does. Knowing Edward he is stressing thinking maybe you aren‟t ready.
Are you? Do you love him too?” she asked
“More then I could possibly ever describe. I have never in my life felt this way
about anyone. I thought I was in love with Jacob, but it pales in comparison to
the way I feel for Edward. I never want to be apart from him. He brings me so
much happiness just being in the same room with me. I can‟t imagine my life
without him, I don‟t want to either.”
I was now staring at the floor, embarrassed at how much I had said.
Esme‟s hand came to my chin and lifted it. Bringing my attention to her.
“Never be afraid to admit something like that. There is no shame in loving
someone and being in love. It is a wonderful thing Bella. Not everyone is lucky in
the world to find something like that. You and Edward have found it in each
other. Please, don‟t keep it from him. You two are perfect together. The family
adores you. You are an amazing and beautiful young woman and we couldn‟t be
happier to have you be a part of our family.”
I could feel the tears streaming down my face at her kind words. I so desperately
longed for a family, now that I had none and in such a short time they had come
to think of me as part of theirs.
I wrapped my arms around Esme in a warm embrace and whispered “Thank
you”.
-
125
“No problem sweetie.” She placed a kiss on my head.
“Mom, what did you do to her? Edward is going to be such a brat if you hurt her
feelings.” Both me and Esme laughed.
“No she didn‟t hurt my feelings Alice. The opposite actually.”
We stood to go get our scrub downs and then we were going to meet up for our
massages in the caves.
Once done we made our way to the caves and while having our muscles worked
out we chatted and laughed about anything and everything. My they were talking
about some of the stupider things Emmett had done in his life. My favorite had to
be the time he started playing with matches in the garage… he would light them,
let it burn then blow them out…throwing them in to the garbage can. He didn‟t
blow one out right and not thinking, threw it in the can which of course bust into
flames. Causing him to panic and run into the house with a burning can of trash.
Screaming trying to figure out how to put it out. I was told that was Emmett‟s
very brief introduction to being a pyro. After that he wasn‟t such a fan of fire.
We were done with our massages and made our way up to the little health bar
they had on the resort and all got some fruit smoothies. Then we headed back to
the spa for mani and pedis. Each of us also getting our hair washed and trimmed.
A total girly day. Something I hadn‟t had in such a long time.
Once all that was done and the girls had teased me telling me I should find
Edward before he had a “Missing Bella Meltdown” I was on my way back to our
cottage.
I walked in to find it empty, no sign of Edward anywhere.
I took this time to go ahead and shower and order some room service. I was
starving and the smoothie just hadn‟t cut it.
-
At some point I fell asleep waiting for Edward. When I woke up there was still no
sign of him.
I picked up the phone and dialed the number to Esme.
“Hello?” came her voice over the phone.
“Hey, Esme, It‟s Bella. Are the guys back yet? Edward hasn‟t been here since I got
back.”
“No, they are still out. They probably found some sports bar or manly thing to go
do. They should be back soon.”
126
“Alright. Do we have plans at all for the rest of the day?”
“Now we are going to each hang out with our men tonight.” I could tell she was
smiling.
“Alright, I will see you tomorrow then.” with that I hung up.
There wasn‟t much to do around here so I pulled out a book and started to read. I
must have lost myself in it. Because I heard a knock on the door and noticed
when I got up to get it that the sun had started to set and it was getting darker
out.
I opened the door to be greeted by a hotel employee.
“Hello, Miss Swan?” I nodded “I was asked to give this to you and tell you to dress
nicely and then follow the map when you are ready.”
“Okay.” I said confused.
-
“You have a lovely evening Miss.” with that he turned and left.
I opened the piece of paper and on it; it said “Follow me for a surprise.” I turned
the paper over and there was a hand drawn map. I was all of the sudden very
excited and hurried and got myself ready. I threw my hair up into a messy bun
and grabbed a light blue empire waist dress that fell to my knees.
A once over in the mirror and I made my way out to follow the map I had been
given.
~*~
EPOV
I watched as Bella left with the girls and my mother and felt like part of me had
been taken away. The instant loss was shocking.
“Oh Eddie, Cheer up... She is coming back.” Emmett said with a slap on my back.
“Please you big oaf, stop calling me Eddie.” I hated that name.
“Such a grouch.”
“Emmett, leave your brother alone.” Carlisle said coming over to me. “I want to
talk to you for a few.”
“Okay” I was confused by his tone
“Alright men, lets get going. Find us something to do.”
127
-
We made our to the front office to find out if there was anything to do locally that
would take up sometime while the girls were having their “bonding day”. The
man at the desk told us about some local bars and a golf course. We decided to
head down town and walk around before grabbing a bite to eat.
The town itself wasn‟t all that big, pretty much just little shops or roadside stands
selling everything from island made jewelry to local fruits and goods. We would
stop and pick up a few things here and there. When we came to a jewelry stand all
the guys decided to pick something out for their significant other. My eyes found
a beautiful emerald ring. It was a square cut stone that was held by swirled like
prongs that molded into the band. It was very simple yet beautiful, like Bella. I
decided to get it for her. Just something special from me to her. Once our
purchases were made we headed to a little sports bar type deal at the corner of
the street we were on.
The place had a large circular bar in the middle with stools for you to sit at, then
booths all along every wall. We chose to sit at a booth and made our way over
once a waitress noticed us and asked us to follow her. We ordered a pitcher of
beer and some appetizers. We just chatted for a while not really about anything
particular. Emmett wanted to go over to the bar and check out what games were
playing and Carlisle asked Jasper if we could have some privacy.
Jasper agreed and headed off to watch the game with Emmett.
“So what did you want to talk about dad?”
“About you and Bella.”
“What about me and Bella?” I asked taking a drink.
“You are in love with her aren‟t you?”
“How do you know?”
-
“Because I have been in love with your mother since the moment I laid eyes on
here. I see the way you look at Bella, how you are when you are near her. You‟re
in love. Like I am with your mother. Like Emmett and Jasper are with Rose and
Alice.” he said with a smile.
“It‟s that obvious, is it?”
“Yes, very obvious. I take it that you haven‟t told her yet then?”
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“No, I don‟t want to scare her off. What if she isn‟t ready? Or I am moving to fast.
What if she doesn‟t love me and she is just using me for comfort.” I felt guilty for
thinking that last one.
“Edward, she loves you to. I can tell. You should see the way her eyes light up
when she sees you walk into a room. How you two always have to be close to each
other when you are in a room together. She loves you Edward. I am sure of it.”
I couldn‟t help it. The thought that she loved me back like I loved her brought a
smile to my face.
“So what are you going to do about it?” Carlisle asked.
“I don‟t know I want to make it special. Something memorable, she has been
through so much in her life, I want her to have something she can keep with her
always.”
“Then how about this. We cancel any plans we had today. You go and work on
something special for her and tell her. Tell her you love her; make her know what
she means to you.”
“Okay. I will. Thanks dad.” we stood and he hugged me.
“What are you guys going to do?”
-
“We are going to go play some golf.”
“Alright then. I will see you tomorrow I guess.”
“See you tomorrow... Good luck” With a hug from him I was off and back to the
resort.
Once I made it back I went to talk to the front desk about something to do that
would be special and romantic. They gave me the perfect answer and so I made it
my job the rest of the day to set up everything so that it was perfect. Stopping in
the room before Bella was back to grab some things I needed.
Hours passed and I was putting the finishing touches on my plans. I ran up to the
front desk and handed the man a note asking if it could be delivered to Bella.
I was starting to get nervous; I poured a glass of wine to settle my nerves and kept
my eyes on the trail waiting for Bella to appear.
Then I saw her. She was wearing a light blue dress, her hair was pulled back in a
messy bun and she was stopped dead in her tracks and she had a look of shock on
her face.
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I set the glass down and made my way over to her. I extended my hand and she
took it still with a shocked expression on her face.
“Bella, breathe.”
“What have you done Edward?”
“I wanted a night for just you and me. Something special to share while we are
here.”
-
I had gotten the resort to help me set up a romantic dinner in the caves on the
shore. Something they only did with advanced notice. When I told them the
situation they were more than happy to help. The caves had strands of whit lights
weaved across the ceiling of it. A small round table for two with white lien and
floral center piece made from flowers found on the island. The opening of the
cave faced nothing but the water and the sounds of the waves crashing against the
shore was all we heard.
I lead Bella inside and pulled out a chair for her to take a seat.
“Edward, this is beyond amazing. When did you do all this?”
I placed a kiss on her cheek and went sit down and pour her a glass of wine as
well.
“Today, when you were with everyone at the spa.”
“It is amazing, thank you.” she took a hold of my hand.
“Anything for you Bella.”
We started to eat and have some light conversation about the day‟s events. We
finished eating and moved on to dessert. We laughed as we fed each other some
of the chocolate seven layer cake. Bella kept trying to take it all. I would give her
these huge bites. She, in return, would give me the smallest amount possible and
laugh that one way or the other she would have all the cake for herself.
It had gotten dark and I pulled out a stereo that the hotel had and started to play
some classical music.
“May I have this dance?” I said extending my hand to her.
-
“Why of course.” she said with a smile “However I must warn you, I still can‟t
dance to save my life.”
“Don‟t worry; it‟s all in how you lead”
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With that she wrapped her arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around her
waist. She laid her head on my chest and I buried my face in her neck. We swayed
back and forth to the music through two songs. I had to do this now before I lost
my nerve.
The second song just ended and I stopped moving. I brought my hand up to her
hair and started to run my fingers through it. It was now or never.
“Bella” My voice was shaking with nerves
“Hmmm”
“Bella, I want you to know something. I want you to know how much you mean to
me. How much these past few months have meant to me. I am so happy to have
you in my life. I want you to know…I love you Bella. I have fallen so madly in love
with you and I never want us to be apart.” There I said it.
She was still and my fears started to creep up on me. I knew this was too soon.
“Bella, I‟m sorry. I just thought I would…” She looked up at me and placed her
fingers on my lips silencing me. Tears were streaming down her face. Great, now
I had caused her to cry.
“Edward, you have brought me so much happiness. Without you, my hero, I
wouldn‟t be here to see this, to enjoy this happiness. I never knew I could ever
feel like this in my life. Not until I met you. I feel the same Edward, I love you. I
love you more than I will ever be able to put into words. You put me back
together when I thought it impossible. You gave me something to live for. You
gave me you. I will never ever want anything else. I love you too.” She had even
more tears streaming down her face now and she pressed her lips to mine.
-
We spent an amazing moment like this before I remembered I had something to
remind her of this night forever.
“Bella, I have something for you. Now before you freak out. It isn‟t what you
think…that will come soon enough. But until that day comes, I wanted you to
have something beautiful, to remind you of this night.”
“But, I already have you.” She said giving my ribs a poke.
“Okay, fine, I wanted you to have something else beautiful.” I held out a small
box.
She took it from me looking a bit shocked.
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“Edward, you didn‟t need to buy me anything.” She opened the box and gasped.
“Oh Edward it is beautiful. It‟s the color of your eyes.”
“Ha, I didn‟t think of that... I thought you would like it.”
“Edward I love it, thank you.” I placed the ring on her finger and she looked at it
again before wrapping her arms around my neck again crashing her lips to mine.
“I love you, so much.” She said against my lips.
“I love you too.” going back in for another kiss.
She stopped then and looked up at me.
-
“Edward … I‟m ready.”
“Ready for what?” I was confused.
She leaned in to me and whispered into my ear.
“Edward I am ready for you to make love to me. I want you to make love to me.
Please?”
~*~
Chapter Seventeen
EPOV
My heart was beating out of my chest when I said those three words I had been
longing to say to her.
Fear that she may not feel the same coursed through my veins. It turned out that
the fear that I had felt was not necessary. Bella took a few seconds, the longest
seconds I had ever experienced, to reply. But when she did respond, any fear I
had held, any nerves that clouded over me, were in an instant gone.
She loved me too.
After an amazing kiss that I felt surge through my entire body she said something
that made my heart stop.
“Edward … I‟m ready.”
“Ready for what?” I was confused.
She leaned in to me and whispered into my ear.
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“Edward I am ready for you to make love to me. I want you to make love to me.
Please?”
“Bella, this isn‟t … I mean I didn‟t expect you to…” I wasn‟t trying to push her.
“Edward I know that. Don‟t you think I know that you would never do anything
like that to me or treat me in such a way?” She had cupped my face between her
hands. “I love you Edward and I want you to make love to me. I am ready, I want
to feel you, truly feel you Edward. If I wasn‟t ready I would tell you.”
“Bella” I leaned my forehead to touch hers. “Do you have any idea what you do to
me? How much I love you?”
“If it is anywhere near as much as I love you, I think I have a pretty good idea.”
she placed a soft kiss on my lips and entwined her fingers with mine. “Come
Edward. I want to go back to the room.”
With that we walked hand in hand back to the room, stealing kisses every few
steps.
We stopped at the door and kissed. Bella started to deepen the kiss before she
pulled away.
“Edward, please, I am ready I promise. Stop treating me like I am going to break.
I love you Edward. I am head over heals in love with you.” she said then placed
another kiss on my lips, begging for entrance almost immediately.
She pushed me into the door, every part of our bodies touching each others. I was
starting to relax a bit and in turn started to get very excited, which I am sure Bella
could tell.
I took one of the arms that I had wrapped around her tiny waist and reached into
my pocket bringing out the key. Placing it in the door and unlocking it I reached
for the handle.
Once the door was opened I lightly pushed Bella into the living room area without
breaking the kiss. Using my foot to close the door behind us.
No sooner was the door closed than Bella was tugging on my shirt attempting to
get it off. I had to laugh at that point at how eager she had become.
“Why are you laughing at me?”
“You act as though I am going to disappear, let‟s take this slow.”
“Edward, you have no idea how long I have been dying to do this. I wasn‟t ready,
now I am and I don‟t want to wait anymore.” with that she crashed her lips into
mine again and I felt her hands attempting to unbutton my shirt. She finally
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made progress and I had pulled my arms out from the sleeves when she groaned
and put on a pout.
„What‟s wrong?” I asked.
“Why oh why is there another layer” She asked pulling on the undershirt I had
on.
Again I had to laugh.
“I am sorry love, I told you I wasn‟t planning on this to happen. I will keep that in
mind for next time.”
With that I lifted off the undershirt and threw it somewhere in the vicinity.
Bella then wrapped her arms around my neck pressing her lips to mine yet again.
I ran my hands up her back and found her zipper. I moved my mouth to her neck
and I slowly unzipped the dress. Bella arched her back and I let the tips of my
fingers graze her skin. I then brought my hands back up to her shoulders
removing the only fabric holding the dress up letting the article of clothing fall to
the floor.
Bella put her hands on my chest and pushed me into the wall kissing me as deep
as possible. I wrapped my arms around her and then flipped us around so she
was against the wall.
“Bella, god, you‟re so beautiful. I love you so much.”
“I love you to Edward, make love to me now.” she begged.
I bent down and picked her up bridal style and carried her into the bedroom.
~*~
BPOV
Every single inch of my skin was on fire. Edwards touch did something to me that
I couldn‟t explain. I wanted his hands never to leave my body ever again.
“Edward please, make love to me.”
All the sudden I was no longer touching the floor and I was being carried into the
bedroom. Edward ever so softly laid me on the bed keeping his arm under my
neck. He stood there leaning into me staring into my eyes.
“What‟s wrong?”
“Nothing‟s wrong. I just can‟t get over how happy you make me Bella. I had
always dreamed of finding a love like my mother and father. I never thought it
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was possible. I always thought I had an idea of what that look was that they
always shared. I longed to share a look like that with someone.” He brushed his
hand down my cheek “I now know Bella what that look was. I now know what
that look feels like. I know why my father was never able to explain it because
there are no words to describe what it is that I feel when I look at you.”
Me being, well…me, started to cry.
“Bella, why are you crying?”
“I‟m just so happy Edward. You just make me so very happy.”
He leaned down placing the sweetest kiss on my lips. I, of course deepened it,
pulling him down on top of me. I could feel him through his pants; he was hard
on my thigh. I bucked my hips up to meet him. To create any form of amazing
friction that soon had me getting more aroused than I thought was humanly
possible. I took my arms from around his neck moving them down his strong
wide shoulders to his waist. I dipped my fingers into the waistband of his pants at
the side and I slowly swept them to the front. I felt Edward‟s swift intake of air
and his stomach muscles tightened.
“Mmmm...” he moaned.
I moved to do what I intended to do and went to work at loosening his button.
Finally freeing him from his pants. I felt him pulse against my leg, the fabric of
his boxers now the only thing in our way.
Edward had brought his lips to mine once more before moving to my jaw then
collarbone. He moved down to the place between my breasts now causing me to
be the one to gasp. He brought one of his strong cool hands to my left breast and
gently kneaded it. Dipping his head down to take my nipple in his mouth. I
moaned and arched my back in indescribable pleasure. I felt him move from my
breast trailing with the tip of his tong a line down my torso. Making his way to
the small thong I wore.
His tongue swept back and forth across where my panties started. I felt him
nipping at them and -
with his teeth began to pull them down.
My body trembled in anticipation for the moment I was longing for.
Edward removed the thong completely taking his time. Once it was thrown to the
side, he took my feet and began to kiss his way back up, leaving not an inch of my
skin untouched.
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He placed kissed on my knees, my thighs, making his way up to my hips. He
lightly trailed his fingers up over the places he had kissed. When he reached my
belly button he used the tip of his tongue to outline it then kissed in the middle of
where his tongue just was. My body wiggled and arched with every new sensation
that his mouth and fingers left.
He had made his way back to my breasts. Kissing the underside of them then
placing a kiss on the top. He made his way up to my collarbone, to my neck, then
jaw then to the place I wanted him again, my mouth.
He spent an immeasurable amount of time just giving me the most passionate
kisses possible. Hands running through my hair or cupping my face always.
Then his tongue ran across my lower lip asking for access, which I granted with
pleasure. We deepened the kiss. Moaning and grinding. He would occasionally
lightly bite my lower lip or suck it into his mouth for a moment. Each time getting
some sort of audible reaction from me.
I had no knowledge of the amount of time we had spent just lovingly touching
and tasting each other. But our breathing was ragged and we both were worked
up beyond words.
It was time.
“Bella, I love you.” he said looking into my eyes, brushing strands of my hair out
of my face.
“I love you too Edward.”
“Are you sure you want to do this? You know we don‟t have to, I can wait, we can
wait. There is no rush.”
“I have never been more sure of anything in my life Edward. I love you and I want
to make love to you.” My lips meeting his.
I felt Edward slowly position himself between my knees. I let my legs fall open
slightly and he took a deep breath before I felt him slowly and ever so gently enter
me.
Once he had filled me completely he stopped. I was breathing heavily now and his
warmth was amazing. He leaned down to me placing soft kisses on my eye lids
and mouth, my nose and cheeks.
“Are you alright, my love?” I nodded. “I love you Bella”
“I love you Edward”
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With that I rocked my hips towards his. He moaned and returned the motion.
Soon we found our rhythm, we were a perfect fit. We were going slow, taking our
time, making love. Every single emotion that I had for Edward and he had for me
was poured in to this act.
He was gentle with me. Checking many time throughout to make sure I was ok.
He was very careful not to be to rough, or go too fast. I think he was trying to
make sure nothing he did would remind me of what happened with Jacob. He
shouldn‟t have worried though because nothing could have been further from my
mind at that moment. He was all that filled my mind, body and soul at that
moment, and hopefully for every moment for as long as we lived.
Edward started to increase the pace just a little, staring deep into my eyes as if to
ask if it was ok. I responded by wrapping my legs around him and tugging on his
hair that was in my hands. Pulling his face down to me to rapture his mouth in a
kiss. Our tongues doing their own sensual dance, all while Edward still rocked in
perfect rhythm with me.
I could feel my climax starting to build. My breath was getting to the point where
it was almost embarrassing, but I couldn‟t care less at the moment, for Edward
sounded just as I did.
He moved his arms to the side of my head, placing his hands on either side of my
face. His eyes and mine were now focused on nothing else but each other. I could
feel his thumbs caressing my cheekbones. Still staring into my eyes I could feel
myself a moment away from exploding. I bit my lip and pushed a little harder to
drive Edward deeper.
A few movements like this and not only did I climax like I had never climaxed
before but Edward came with me. Never at any point did he stop looking into my
eyes, nor I his. Like some magical hold had been placed upon us and everything
at that moment was perfect and would always be that way.
I felt him finish pulsing inside me and he leaned his forehead to mine and placed
a sweet kiss on my lips.
“Bella, that was amazing. I love you so much. I will never be able to tell you. But I
will spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you and how much
you mean to me.” He kissed me again. “I love you Bella Swan, forever.
“I love you too.”
Things couldn‟t be any more perfect then they were now. I was in love, I had great
new friends, and I was on vacation with an amazing family… I was never going to
let anything bring me down ever again. This was my new start, my new life.
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Forever started now.
~*~
Chapter Eighteen
BPOV
My eyes fluttered open to the bright Jamaican sun shining through the open
window. The sound of the ocean filled my ears. It took me a minute for me to
wake up fully, when I did I was suddenly reminded just what took place last night
as I felt Edwards strong arms wrapped around my waist. Both of us lacked any
form of clothing.
My back was to him and his face was nuzzled on the back of my neck. I could feel
his warm breath on me and it caused me to shiver.
As slow as I could I wiggled my way around to face him. He was a deep sleeper,
for he didn‟t budge when I moved.
I was content sitting there staring at him while he slept. He was so peaceful and
innocent.
After awhile of me just staring at him, Edwards‟s eyes began to flutter open. It
took him a moment to focus on me, but when he did a huge smile played across
his face.
“Good morning beautiful.” He placed a kiss on my awaiting lips.
“Morning.”
“How are you this morning? Are you okay?”
“I am perfect Edward.”
“Last night was amazing, I love you so much. I am never going to let you go
Bella.”
“I love you so much too. Last night was indeed amazing.”
I think both of us were blushing now
“So, how long have you been awake?” he asked. Brushing strands of hair behind
my ear
“About half an hour.”
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“And what have you been doing all that time?”
“Watching you sleep. You look so peaceful when you sleep, so innocent. “Then I
started to blush, I could feel the heat rising to my face.
“Why on earth are you blushing because of that?”
-
“Well, that is not all I was doing.” His face scrunched in confusion.
He waited for an answer.
“Well, I kind of wanted to try something out. It is kind of embarrassing to ask
though.”
“Never be embarrassed Bella.”
“Maybe I could just show you? It might be easier that way.” And I grabbed a hold
of Edwards hand and lead him outside.
When he realized where we were headed I heard a gasp and then I felt him stop
dead in his tracks.
“Are you serious?” I looked down at my feet, shyly nodding my head.
All the sudden I felt Edward release my hand and wrapped his arms around my
waist. His lips made contact with my neck and apparently what I had said had
excited him, immediately I felt his arousal pressed against my backside and it
turned me on even more then I was already.
Making love to Edward last night was beyond words and I needed him, wanted
him again and now. Since we got here naughty thoughts had been running
through my head of things I would like to do to him in the outdoor shower.
Now I was going to fulfill those fantasies.
The shower was a medium sized circular wall made out of multi-colored stones. It
had a large rainfall feature showerhead and a little stone bench built into the
length of the wall.
Edward, still kissing my neck nudged me towards the shower his hand spread
across my stomach, lightly squeezing it as we walked.
Once we reached the outside of the shower, Edward spun me around, pressing
me against the cool stone. He pressed his lips against mine. Brining one of his
large warm hands to my face, and the other crept down to my lower back.
My hips meeting his, feeling the full effect of his hard member pressed against me
started to make my knees go weak.
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As the kiss deepened, I reached for the door to the shower and pulled Edward
with me into the stone structure.
Once inside I continued to kiss him, not caring that I needed to breath. With
Edward, I didn‟t need air to survive. I felt him reach and turn on the water, and
the shock from the cold should have had some effect on both of us. However we
were too lost in each other to care.
Our bodies becoming slick from the water created a sensation we had yet to
experience together. His hand glided over every part of me easier and smoother.
My breast loved the attention most.
My nipples were both fully erect; Edward took quick advantage of this. Sucking
one into his warm awaiting mouth. I threw my head back in ecstasy as his teeth
grazed them and his hand teased the other.
My hands were entangled into his wet locks as I moaned in pleasure while
Edward continued his assault on my breast. Making sure to show each side equal
attention.
“Bella, you are absolutely the most beautiful and amazing woman I have ever
known. I love you more than you will ever know.” He said as he started to push
me back against the wall. The back of my legs made contact with the small stone
bench inside the shower and I told him I loved him too.
With a gentle push on my shoulders from Edward I was now sitting on the bench.
Slowly he lowered himself in front of me. Kissing my lips and then my collarbone.
He made his way to my stomach which caused me to tremble. He placed both his
hands on my hips and pulled me forward, until I was sitting on the very edge and
my head was resting against the stone wall.
“What are you doing Edward?” I ask teasingly.
But it wasn‟t words he answered with, it was his tongue. I felt him run his hands
up my knees and ever so gently push my legs apart. He placed kissed slowly up
the path his hands had traveled until he reached the area I begged in my head for
him to go.
As his thumbs caressed my inner thighs, his tongue made work over my awaiting
lips. I could feel the tip of his tongue following the line of me from bottom to top,
meeting up with the bundle of nerves that called to him. With long and painfully
slow strokes of his tongue I was in pure ecstasy. My back was arched and I
gripped the edge of the bench for dear life. I could hardly breath the feeling was
so amazing. I moaned and whimpered, calling for him to continue, begging him
not to stop. Once again, like so many other times, I felt Edward enter his long
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slender fingers into me. Pumping me, coaxing me to my release. As always, a
slight curl of his fingers and a small suck of my clit I exploded. Collapsing back
into the wall gasping to catch my breath. I felt Edward‟s tongue make one more
lick to collect all of his reward, and then he moved up to me.
He trailed kisses up my neck to my jaw reaching my ear the whispering.
“Stand up Bella.”
I was more than happy to listen to what he said. I attempted to stand, but the fact
that he left me weak kneed caused me to stumble. Only to be caught by his loving
embrace.
“I think you‟re a little too good at what you do. I need a little bit longer to recover
before standing.” I chuckled.
“Silly Bella.” He placed a loving kiss on my lips before he pressed me up against
the wall once again.
Edward‟s hands ran down my hips and around to my ass in which he gripped
making a growling sound as he did so.
All the sudden I felt him bring his hands back up to my hips and turn me around
so that I was facing the wall now. He ran his one hand up my side lightly grazing
my breast as he trailed up my arms to my hands that were plastered against the
stone wall, gripping them in his. With his other hand I felt him at my entrance,
getting ready to guide himself into me.
“I love you Bella.‟‟
“I love you too Edward, so much.”
With that I felt him enter, immediately filling me. His now free hand he used to
wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He was still for a minute,
allowing me to stretch to him, I was holding my breath waiting for the moment
he started to move inside me.
With a kiss to my shoulder blade I felt him pull out, then thrust back in. I could
hear Edward‟s soft grunts and moans with each thrust, our breathing increased
and my hips and his found our rhythm, meeting each other each time.
The hand that was on my waist slowly slid up my wet stomach to my breast,
where he allowed his thumb to graze my nipple causing an overload of pleasure
and I was no longer able to keep my voice down.
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“Edward…Oh god…I‟m... God…Don‟t stop.” This caused to increase his thrust
driving me to the point of no return and the tightening in my stomach burst
causing me to scream out in pleasure.
My screaming and moaning and clenching the walls must have drove him over
the edge as well. I could feel him pulsing in me and his head resting against my
back, both of us once again trying to control our breathing.
Once we gained control, he removed himself and turned me around. Cupping my
face with his hands and staring me deep in the eyes, he declared his love for me
yet again and vowed we would be together forever.
I wanted to stay with him all day, making love to him over and over, but we had
plans with the family. Today was Rose‟s, Jasper‟s and Alice‟s events, so we
actually made use of the shower for its original purpose and washed up. Edward
washed my hair and I his in return. It was very loving and romantic.
Once we made it inside and got dressed, ordered breakfast it was time for the
family to arrive. Just then there was a knock on the door. Edward got up to get
the door as I cleared the plates. Right away I heard Emmett‟s booming voice.
-
“What took so long answering the door Eddie? Did we interrupt you two making
sweet loving?”
Alice giggled and Jasper and Carlisle just shook their head in disbelief he could
be so blunt.
I turned blood red I could tell, but burst into laughter when Emmett‟s comment
was followed by a loud „pop‟ and an “OW” of Rosalie slapping Emmett upside the
head, followed by another “Ow” and a “MOM!” as Esme followed Rosalie‟s lead.
“Emmett, how many times do I have to ask you to stop calling me Eddie?”
Emmett didn‟t answer, instead he stood there rubbing his head and pouting.
“So where are we off to first?” I asked.
“Well, first we are going to the Dunns River Falls and shopping tour because the
other two involve us getting wet. I refuse to shop looking like a drowned rat.”
Alice said.
Jasper wrapped his arms around her “You look beautiful no matter what.”
Causing Alice to giggle and place a kiss on Jaspers lips.
“Then we are off to my trip to the Jungle River Tubing Safari.” Jasper said, still
holding Alice close.
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“Finished by swimming with Dolphins at sunset.” Rosalie said with a smile
“Well, we have a pretty full day planned then don‟t we. We all best be off.” Esme
said shooing everyone out the door.
We were all packed up in the cars and made our way to Alice‟s trip. Of course
Alice needed shopping involved in all things she did.
We made our way up the scenic north coast to the Ocho Rios and passed through
Falmouth. It was filled with beautiful Georgian style houses. We stopped at
Columbus Park where Christopher Columbus first landed.
We spent the morning rummaging through the towns many shopping arcades
and craft markets before enjoying a traditional Jamaican lunch. Of course Alice
and Jasper had to meet us there, needing a quick trip to the car to drop off Alice‟s
purchases. Then we made our way to Dunns River Falls, they were beautiful,
water cascading down 600ft, a staircase took you down to the beach. We had fun
following the guide to the top of the falls to take pictures.
Once we made our way back down the falls, we made our way back to the cars to
head off on Jasper‟s trip. We arrived and were immediately given an orientation
with safety tips for the ride down the river. We made our way down to the water‟s
edge where we were all assigned a tube. Our guides were amazing with their
commentary and wealth of information as we rode through the rushing rapids of
the Great River. We all were sitting back relaxing, Edward and I held hands the
entire time, taking in the natural beauty of Jamaica. We were able to catch local
animals at the water‟s edge as we drifted by sipping on our complimentary rum
punch.
Once we made it back to base camp, we dried off and the guys left their shirts off
and the girls opted to just slip on pairs of shorts. We were headed off to get wet
again swimming with dolphins, so the point of getting dressed again was moot.
Between the rafting and the next destination Rosalie turned into a mini Alice, she
was more than a bit excited about getting to swim and play with real live
dolphins.
Once we got there we were made aware of just what this experience would be like.
We were given rules, and of course Emmett wasn‟t paying attention. I planned on
staying far away from him while we were there. My clumsiness and Emmett‟s lack
of listening skills made for a bad combination, I didn‟t need to risk it. By the time
it was time to get in; Emmett was bouncing right a long with Rose.
However he decided to walk over to the edge and start humming a familiar tune.
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“Emmett, what the hell are you humming and why?” Edward asked, arm around
my waist. I turned my eyes away from the beautiful creatures swimming in the
water before me and focused on what Emmett could possibly be doing.
“Edward, I happen to be humming the theme song to Flipper.” He said it with
such conviction that he was confused at that Edwards issue was.
“Why are you humming the theme song to flipper Emmett?” Jasper asked.
“I thought that they would like the fact that I watched a show about their kind.”
The sound of smacks on skin could be heard; both Edward and Jasper slapped
their hands against their foreheads.
“How can someone so smart be so freaking stupid Emmett?” Jasper was shaking
his head.
“It‟s a gift.” was Emmett‟s reply.
We made our way into the water still laughing at what an enormous dork Emmett
was.
We had a blast playing with the dolphins. Edward and I spent a good amount of
time tossing a little orange ball back and forth with one. We would throw it and
the dolphin would bring it back to us with his nose.
Then the instructors told us we could attempt to take a ride with them by
grabbing onto their fins. So each of us took our turns grabbing a hold of the fin
and being pulled out to the waters edge. It was funny watching Emmett go
because he was so huge and here was the delicate creature pulling this massive
muscled man.
Eventually it was time to go and everyone was beat. We made our way back to the
resort and decided that it was best to call it a night and each go our separate ways
instead of dining together.
-
We said our goodnights and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and we
walked back to the room together. He placed light kissed on my neck, shoulder or
head as we walked, each times sending chills down my spine.
We made it back to the room and ordered in, eating in the bed. Once we were
finished we were too tired to even put the plates in the sink and opted just laying
them on the floor next to the bed. Edward removed his shirt and pants leaving
him in just his boxers as he slipped under the covers. I followed removing my
pants and sleeping in my shirt and undies.
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As soon as our heads hit the pillow and Edward‟s arms were wrapped around me,
we drifted into a blissfully deep sleep.
~*~
Chapter Nineteen
EPOV
After a good night of sleep with Bella wrapped in my arms, I awoke to the sound
of knocking at the door. I slipped out of bed leaving a still sleeping Bella behind.
I made my way across the living room to the door, and opened it.
“Hey lover boy.” came Emmett‟s booming voice.
I rolled my eyes “What do you need Emmett?”
“Well, good morning to you little brother. I didn‟t interrupt anything did I?” he
asked, looking over my shoulder.
“No, Bella is asleep so keep it down.”
“Sure thing, I am supposed to tell you to get ready to go, we have a lot to do today
before we head home tomorrow.”
“You couldn‟t have called?”
“I was on my way to the front desk. Figured I would tell you while I was out. We
are meeting out front in half an hour, so get a move on stud.”
“Goodbye Emmett.” I said shutting the door on him.
-
I walked back into the bedroom to the sleeping beauty in my bed. I climbed in
and snuggled close to her, brushing her hair out of her face. This caused her to
begin to stir and I whispered her name until her eyes fluttered open.
“Morning.” she said as a smile formed on her face and her eyes focused on mine.
“Morning love. We have to get up and get ready to go.”
Bella‟s beautiful faced turned into a little pout
“What is that face for?”
“It is our last day here; I am going to miss this place. It has a lot of good
memories for me.” A smile came back to her lips.
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“I know what you mean; we are really going to have to come back here to visit.”
Her face lit up.
“I would love that.” she placed a sweet kiss on my lips. “Ugh, I guess I should get
up and get dressed.”
“Yes, last day, lots of things to do.”
With that we both got up and hurried to get ready for the day. Packing up our bag
for the day of things we need and grabbing something out of the kitchen to snack
on, we made our way out to meet the others.
-
Once again we were on the road heading out to do Bella‟s choice of activity.
We pulled up to Doctor‟s Cave Beach where we would be doing a Sea Trek. Our
group made our way down to where the instructor was and went through the
normal speech on rules and instructions. Once that was over we each were fitted
with this space age helmet that rested on our shoulders, and had a continuous
airflow.
We spent the next thirty minutes on the bottom of the sea looking at all the
marine life and coral in its natural habitat. Alice had this underwater camera and
was snapping photos of the group.
Our thirty minutes were up and we made our trip back to land to get our things
together to head to Carlisle‟s activity of Rainforest River Rafting.
We once again piled into our cars and headed off to our next stop.
Once we arrived we had yet another instructional course to go through. We were
fitted with helmets and life jackets. Each of us was given a paddle that suited our
height, Alice of course needing the longest. We were told we were going to be
rafting on grade I-II rapids, so we were able to take it slow and take in the
scenery.
As we made our way through the water of the Caliche rainforest riverbed and it
was beautiful. You could hear the sounds of the river water and the animals of the
rainforest all blending together. Carlisle had a smile plastered across his across
his face; this was the type of thing that he loved to do. Bella was constantly
looking around, trying to take in as much of the scenery as possible and commit it
to memory.
Everyone was enjoying their time when we saw this huge tree ahead of us with a
large rope hanging from it. The instructor pulled the raft that way and we stopped
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on the river bank. Everyone got out and out of their gear. We each took turns
swing from the river rope and swimming in the calm cool water.
-
Once we had spent a good amount of time there we all geared back up and got
back in the raft to finish our tour. We made it back to the base camp and thanked
our instructor for an amazing time and decided to head out to find something to
eat.
Once we had made our way to a local restaurant and were seated we had all
started talking about what our plans were for tonight.
“We should go to a club.” Alice suggested.
“Yes.” Rose and Emmett agreed together.
“I think me and your father might be a little too old for clubbing.” Esme added.
“Well we have the sunset cruise to go on, don‟t forget that.” I reminded them.
“We will be having dinner on the boat.”
“What time are we leaving in the morning?” Bella asked.
“We have to be at the airport at eleven in the morning.” said Carlisle.
“Well, then is a club such a good idea?” asked Jasper.
“We should be fine if we don‟t stay out to late.” Alice said, brushing a strand of
hair behind Jaspers ear.
“Well then a club it is. You are ok with that mom and dad?”
“Yes, you kids go and have fun on your last night, just be safe.”
-
Once we were finished we decided to do a little shopping to grab anything we
wanted to take back home.
We had spent enough time wandering around to little shops, and needed to head
back to the resort in order to shower and change for the sunset cruise. So we
gathered our purchases and headed out.
Once back we all went our separate ways, I took Bella‟s bags and we walked hand
and hand to our room, she rested her head on my shoulder the whole way. I was
going to miss this place, here with her.
Once in the room we flopped on the bed to relax for a moment. Bella wrapped
herself into my embrace and placed playful kisses on my neck and cheek. I moved
my head so that our lips could touch. Soon we were lost in a passionate kiss, her
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hands weaved into my hair and my hands roamed he luscious body. There was
something about her, every time I touched her I found myself unable to stop. It
was like she was a magnet that just had the ability to pull me to her and keep me
there.
All too soon she broke the kiss and groaned.
“What is it, love?”
“Well, as much as I would love to stay here with you, just like this, we need to get
ready for the cruise.” she nuzzled her face into my neck.
“Ugh, I know, what was I thinking making this plan?”
“You were thinking it would be romantic I‟m sure.”
“Yes, I was actually.”
-
“Well from the sounds of it, you are right.” she smiled. “As usual.”
“Ha. Ha. Just go take your shower, I will go after you.”
With that she jumped off the bed and headed out to shower.
We both took our time getting ready seeing as we still had a little time to spare.
Once it was time to go, we headed off to meet the others and get to the boat.
We made our way to the marina to find a boat called the Calico waiting for us. We
were given drinks upon going aboard and all settled in at the front as it took off.
It was beautiful; we could see nothing but water for miles and miles. Bella was
resting back in my arms and taking in the setting sun along with the others.
The sun finally set and the crew brought us up dinner, we dined on local
favorites. Everyone seemed to be taking in the fact that this would be our last
night together and we all ate basically in silence.
When dinner was finished we all sat with our significant other and took in the
clear night sky as the boat made its way back to land.
Back at the marina we parted ways with my parents and made our way to the
club. We spent the rest of the time dancing the night away.
I watched as Bella laughed and danced with my sister and Rose. She was so free
and happy, she absolutely glowed. I was never happier to be on vacation and with
someone I was in love with. I was dreading having to leave this place and go back
to real life. I knew there were things at home that waited to ruin this perfect
moment in time. Jake was back home, school, all the things that we hadn‟t had a
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second thought about here, were now clouding my thoughts and worry about
going back was setting in. I was starting to get that feeling that things here were
as good as it was going to get, and they might go downhill once we got home.
“Hey, you ok?” I hadn‟t noticed that Bella had stopped dancing and made her way
over to me.
-
“Yea, I am fine. Just thinking about tomorrow, back to the real world.” I faked a
smile.
“I know, this here is pretty amazing. It is going to be odd not seeing them
everyday. I really do love them.” she said wrapping her arms around me.
“They love you too.”
“Come on Mr. Cullen, come dance with me. Let‟s not let the real world ruin our
last night here.” with that she took my hand and led me to the dance floor.
~*~
BPOV
We had made it to the airport in time to grab some coffee and chit chat before we
boarded the plane. I was really going to miss hanging out with these people
everyday, we were definitely going to have to spend more time together as a
group. Even Esme and Carlisle, they were amazing people and parents.
The trip home seemed to fly by and when we landed everyone looked a little sad.
We got our luggage from baggage claim and headed to the parking garage.
Everyone stopped and exchanged hugs, asking when we would be meeting up
again. Alice promised she would be calling tomorrow to set up something for us
all to do in a week or so.
We left to go to our cars, Edward and I hand in hand. I helped him load our bags
into the trunk and he went to the passenger side to open the door for me, helping
me in. As he made his way around to the driver‟s side I noticed my cell phone in
the cup holder. I forgot to take it with me and didn‟t even notice.
I picked it up and turned it on; Edward opened the door and asked what I was
doing.
-
“I forgot my cell in the car apparently, just going to check my messages.”
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Finally when the phone turned on the missed calls screen flashed, I clicked on it
to see I had thirty-five missed calls. My heart dropped, I only knew one person
that would have made that much of an effort to call that many times. I played the
first message...
“Bella, this is getting stupid, we have to talk, how many times I have to say sorry
before you will talk to me. Call me back Bella, please.”
I erased it, trying to keep my face normal as not to worry Edward I hit the next
message.
“Bella, I am begging you, five minutes, it is all I am asking. You are my life Bella
please don‟t ignore me. This is killing me.”
Next
“Bella, this isn‟t like you, why are you being so cold, how can you just write me off
like this? I am sorry I fucked up, but now you‟re being childish.”
Next
“BELLA!! FUCK!" I erased that immediately.
Next
“Bella, if you won‟t speak to me over the phone, then it will be in person. Make up
your mind, either way we will talk.”
-
It took everything in me to not cry. Edward was busy driving and didn‟t notice the
fear that showed on my face. He wasn‟t going to stop until we talked. I didn‟t even
want to hear the rest of the messages... I went ahead and just erased everything
else.
This had put the official stamp on our vacation being over. Real life had reared its
ugly face, and Jamaica was nothing more than a wonderful memory now.
~*~
Chapter Twenty
JPOV
I was sick of worrying, not knowing where she was, if she was ok. I was sick of
sitting here trying to rack my brain to figure out how to fix this. People mess up
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all the time. Granted I fucked up big time, I would do anything to fix what I did,
but she had to let me try.
I spent all this week trying to call her cell, she hadn‟t changed her number and
that was a good sign in my book. The not answering it however made it very
difficult to try to meet up and work through this. I knew if she just gave me some
time I would do whatever I needed to do to fix it.
I was glad I had a few friends in some high places here on campus because now I
only had one thing left to do. She refused to answer my calls, to call me back, so I
had to go to her new place.
My friend Paul worked in the University admissions office and would be able to
look up Bella‟s change of address information.
I made my way in and saw Paul sitting at the front desk; the building was empty
at the moment so I would have plenty of time getting my info without getting
Paul in trouble.
“Hey man, have you gotten Bella‟s new address for me?” I asked once I got to the
counter.
“Yeah, here. What the hell is going on with you two anyway? I mean this is Bella;
you two have been friends since birth. How did you fuck up so bad that she
refuses to tell you where she is living?”
“Paul, not now, I fucked up huge time man, but I can‟t fix it if she won‟t talk to
me. Now she will have to. I am not letting her throw all these years together down
the drain or out the window over a stupid mistake.”
“Whatever man, take care of yourself.”
-
“I will, thanks for the help. I owe you big time.” with that I left.
I was going to go see Bella sometime this week. I needed to plan this out so I
don‟t ramble on and then not get to the point. Bella most likely wouldn‟t be giving
me too much time to plead my case and I needed to make sure I got everything
out. She needed to understand that I was sorry, that I needed her in my life.
I also had to make sure she wasn‟t hanging out with that jerk off from the
courtyard. I would never have a chance to speak to her if he was around.
I made my way to my car and my phone started to ring. I dug in my pockets and
pulled it out and flipped it open.
“Hello?”
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“Yes, I am looking for a Jacob Black please.” the woman on the phone said.
“This is him.”
“Mr. Black, my name is Dr. Evans, I need you to come down to the hospital, it‟s
important.”
“What is happening? What‟s wrong?”
“I‟m afraid I can‟t discuss this over the phone Mr. Black we need you down here
as soon as possible. Can you make it here?”
“Of course, I‟ll be right there.”
-
I flipped the phone shut, jumped into the car and sped towards the hospital
chanting over and over…Please don‟t let it be dad, Please don‟t let it be dad,
please don‟t let it be dad.
~*~
BPOV
“Home sweet home.” I said as I walked through the door of our apartment and
threw my bags on the floor.
I walked over to the couch and plopped down, throwing my head back and
closing my eyes.
I felt the cushion next to me sink and then Edwards‟s warm arms wrap around
me and he rested his head on my chest.
“It is good being home, I have missed this place.” his arms tightened around my
waist. “It has the benefit of no Emmett.”
I had to laugh at that.
“Hey, he means well Edward; he is like a big teddy bear.”
“You just wait; he is breaking you slow, trying not to scare you off. He gets worse,
much, much worse.”
“I think I can handle him. If having to deal with Emmett is all I have to put up
with to be with you, then it is well worth it.” I placed a kiss in his messy hair.
“Ok, let me up, I am starving and going to go see what we have to work with.”
-
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“I don‟t think there is much. I can run to the store and pick some things up for
today and tomorrow until we feel up to making one large trip.”
“You sure? I am sure we can fix up something.” I said as I searched the cupboards
and the fridge. “Maybe not.” I said with a frown. We had a stick of butter, some
milk, and a jar of jelly.
“Well, I will run to the store then. Make a list and while I am gone you can
unpack.” a smile formed on his face.
“Oh, jeez, thanks Edward.” I said playfully swatting at him. “Just what I wanted
to do, unpack all our stuff.”
“You are more organized than I am Bella, it will be faster if you do it.” I just shook
my head.
I made a list of a few things that we would need to get through the next few days
until a big time shopping was needed. With a semi-over the top kiss Edward was
on his way and I grabbed the bags pulling them back to the bedroom.
I had been in the bedroom for fifteen minutes tops when I heard a knock at the
door. Edward wouldn‟t have been that fast at the store I didn‟t think.
I reached the door saying “That was fast.” as I opened it.
Fear immediately washed over me as I was standing face to face with the one
person I never expected to see here, at my home, my safe place.
“Why…Why are you here?” I asked, my voice trembling as I took a few steps back.
-
Jake was standing there, in my doorway, of the home I shared with Edward. He
found me, how did he find me…no one knew where I was.
“Jake you have to leave, please Jake you can‟t be here.” I started to shut the door
but his huge hand came up to stop it.
“Bella, I have to talk to you. This isn‟t about me Bella; I think you need to sit
down okay. What I am going to tell you, you need to be sitting down.”
I hadn‟t noticed until now that his eyes were all red and puffy.
“Jake, what, what is it…Spit it out.”
“Bella.” his chin was trembling. “Bella, it‟s…dad, my dad…he…he is gone Bella.
Dad died.”
All the wind was knocked out of me everything started to blur and I felt like I was
going to be sick. I kept stepping back, not believing it. I felt my back hit the wall
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and I slowly slid down the wall shaking my head. The pools of warm liquid
started to pool in my eyes, and my body started to shake violently. This couldn‟t
be happening; my one last tie to anything resembling a family was now gone for
good.
“Bella, are you okay?”
“Jake, I‟m going to be sick.” I stood up and ran to the kitchen and launched
myself at the kitchen sink, heaving the contents of my stomach into it.
I felt Jake come up behind me and pull my hair back out of the way.
“It‟s ok Bella, it will be alright.” his voice sounded like that of a broken little boy.
-
“Jake how?”
“It was a combination of all the problems he has had. His body just gave up Bella,
he wasn‟t in any pain they said, he went in his sleep. He was taking a nap and
Sam went to wake him up and he was gone.” tears started to flow down his face
and he put his head in his hands.
It was silent for a few moments and we just stood there…across from each other
not speaking. I couldn‟t seem to stop the tears and my mouth tasted horrible. I
ran some water washing my mouth out when he spoke.
“Bella, I am so sorry.” I froze.
“Jake, not now.”
“Bella, I haven‟t seen my father in weeks. If his death has taught me one thing it is
to say what you mean while you can. I may never get the chance again.”
I stood facing away from him. I didn‟t want to look at him while he did this.
“Bella, I am so sorry for everything I have put you through. I know it will never be
anywhere close to enough. I can‟t ever take back what I have done to you. I was so
foolish to even think I could. I am a horrible person for thinking you were
blowing it out of proportion I am so sorry. I will never be able to show you just
how sorry I am, but I need you to know. I feel like I took Billy away from you in
the process and because of me neither of us got to say goodbye. If it weren‟t for
me we would have been there…We would have seen him more…But you stayed
away to protect him.”
I was crying again, he was right; I was never going to see Billy again. I had kept
my distance and he had worried about me because I hadn‟t been around. Now I
wouldn‟t ever see him again.
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-
This caused me to cry harder.
“He loved you as if you were his child Bella. He always talked about you and he
was so proud of you. Always know that, to him you were his daughter.”
“I know Jake; I loved like he was my father.”
We stood there again in silence not knowing what to say when something hit me.
“Jake, how are you here?” I asked looking at him confused.
“What?”
“How did you know where I was Jake? I never told anyone where I was living
now.”
His head dropped and he was looking at the floor.
“Bella, it was just another stupid selfish move on my part. I called and called
trying to get you to talk to me but you wouldn‟t answer. I had enough, I wanted to
talk to you, so I knew someone at the school who gave me your new address. I am
sorry, and I am not. Sorry I did it, but without it you wouldn‟t have found out
about dad. At least not until much later. I thought you should know.”
“Jake, I don‟t know what to say. I should be mad, I guess I kind of am. But
without this I wouldn‟t know about Billy so I guess what‟s done is done.”
“I won‟t come here again, I promise. I have said what I needed to say on the
subject. With dad dying now, I can‟t keep hurting you. I know that I have put you
through hell Bella, I won‟t do it anymore. I have said my peace on the matter. I
just wanted you to know about Billy and that is it, I won‟t bother you again.”
-
Him saying that sent a wave of calm over me and I was glad he was finally going
to let me go. He was going to move on from this just like I had planned to.
“Thank you Jake, it means a lot to me.”
“No problem Bells, I should be going anyway. I am going to call you with the
information on the funeral and all ok. I have to get home; we have to start dealing
with all the arrangements.”
Tears started to flow again at the thought of Billy no longer alive.
“O...okay, Jake, I...I will talk to you then.”
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“It will be okay Bells.” He leaned in and gave me a comforting hug. We held onto
each other for a moment, both knowing that this would be the last time we would
have the chance for closure, to say goodbye.
A loud crash was heard from across the room and both our heads snapped to the
direction of the noise.
Edward!
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!” He shouted.
“Edward, calm down.” I said walking towards him. “This isn‟t what it looks like.”
“You mean you weren‟t in the arms of the sick fuck who raped you?” A mixture of
pain and anger covered his face.
-
“Edward, let me explain, it‟s not what you are thinking just let me...” he cut me
off.
“I was so stupid, so stupid wasn‟t I. How could I have even believed anything you
said? You were right the first night. I knew nothing about you. I must not have
learned anything about you… god. How could you do this?” His voice cracked.
“Edward.” I said walking towards him with my arms out.
“Don‟t touch me, don‟t fucking touch me. I‟m so fucking stupid; it was too good to
be true. Like you could ever love me, I am nothing but a failure and you would
rather be here, with this asshole than with me.” He threw the letter at me, I
picked it up and read what it said then looked at him.
“Edward, you know I don‟t think that, I could never think that. I love you, please
let me explain, please just listen to me. I love you Edward I wouldn‟t do anything
to hurt you ever.” my tears were flowing freely.
“You don‟t love me Bella. If you loved me you wouldn‟t have let this scum into our
home. You wouldn‟t have been in his arms. I am over it. I. AM. DONE.”
I was sobbing so hard I could control it. “Edward please just listen.”
“Hey, you know, you can say whatever you want about me but she is telling the
truth man, there wasn‟t anything like that happening.” Jake tried to speak up.
“Don‟t you fucking talk to me... Get the fuck out of my house. Both of you...
NOW!” I couldn‟t believe this was happening.
-
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“I‟m not leaving you Edward, not until you talk to me, until you listen. If you want
me to go after that, then I will.”
“Fuck it, I am done, I am done even trying anymore.” with a pained expression he
gave me one final look and then stormed out of the apartment.
“Edward NO!” I went to run after him getting to the door as the elevator closed.
This couldn‟t be happening.
~*~
Chapter Twenty-One
EPOV
I was so happy to be home, to get to have some alone time with Bella, and not
have to go and do stuff with my family. Not that I didn„t love spending time with
them, I just craved alone time with Bella more. To just be able to sit around the
house and watch movies, or read books, anything we wanted to do.
I made my way to the grocery store to pick up the things on Bella‟s list that would
last us a couple of days so that we could have a day or so to relax. I stopped by the
area where they kept the flowers and found her a small bouquet just to make her
smile. I went to the ice cream section picking out her favorite ice cream and
toppings. A thank you for unpacking all our stuff, then made my way to check
out.
I loaded up my trunk with the purchases and made my way back home. I was
smiling like a fool thinking of all that time alone with her. I loved being with Bella
and the vacation had finally brought us together in every way possible. We had
finally told each other we loved each other. We had made the most amazing love
that I have experienced. Then of course the hottest shower sex I could have ever
imagined.
My family was just as in love with Bella as I was.
Alice talked about Bella non-stop when it was me and her, mom and dad already
thought of her as a daughter. I had been worried that their eager personalities
would scare Bella off, but it seemed to have only relaxed her. I don‟t think any of
us could picture a life where Bella didn‟t exist; she fit in like she had always been
there.
Everything was going so perfect
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I pulled into an empty spot and parked in front of our apartment and got out, I
grabbed the bags from the trunk and made my way inside.
I walked passed the mailboxes and stopped; I placed the bags on the ground to
check. I knew we were going to have a lot after not being home for a week and I
was right. It was over flowing.
-
I quickly scanned through what we had, mostly junk and some bills. Then my
heart stopped when I saw a letter from the University with my name on it. I had
forgotten about this while in Jamaica, and I was all the sudden thrown back into
the reality of life. I knew this couldn‟t be good.
I placed the other mail in one of the bags of groceries and placed them on the
floor in front of me. Taking a deep breath I opened the envelope and pulled out
the piece of paper. What I saw is what I had been preparing myself for, but in no
way was I ready to deal with it.
Dear Mr. Cullen,
We regret to inform you that your semester grades were not high enough to help
you maintain an acceptable GPA. Here we believe in giving second chances, and
with that we are offering you two options.
One, you can for go attending here next year and register at a local community
college and work on getting your basic grades up and then coming back.
Option two, we can place you on academic probation in which you will have to
reach and hold a certain grade in each class in order to stay here.
Please think about your options and let us know before the start of registration.
We are here to talk if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Olivia Marx
Admissions
-
My throat suddenly went dry; I knew this was going to happen. My mental and
emotional state last semester was at an all time low and because of it my grades
suffered. Now leaving me with the option of dropping out of here or being
monitored like a baby, which I am sure, would do wonders for my stress level.
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I braced myself against the wall and put my head in my hands. I was a failure, all
this time I was right about who I was. I was never going to amount to anything;
my family was going to be so disappointed in me and Bella too. She had worked
with me trying to get my grades up and I still couldn‟t do it.
I failed everyone.
I was not looking forward to going up there and telling her. There was going to be
no way to hide this though, we knew grades and such were coming and Bella was
excited to prove me wrong and see what a wonderful job I did. I was going to do
something I never planned on ever doing to her.
I was going to let her down.
I picked up the bags of food and made my way to the elevator in a dazed state. My
heart pounded, what if she was upset at me for this, what if she thought I didn‟t
try hard enough, that I was not only a failure in my eyes, but in hers too. The
elevator ding brought me out of my thoughts and I walked to our door.
I thought I heard voices, I couldn‟t think of who would be at our apartment
talking with Bella, and when I walked in I though for a moment I was
hallucinating. There was Bella and the pig who raped her, in my apartment. He
had his filthy hands on her and she didn‟t appear to be fighting him. She actually
seemed to be embracing him back.
I felt like I was going to be ill at the sight of this, the anger boiled in my veins, my
arms felt weak and I dropped the food I was holding and both of their heads
snapped and looked at me.
-
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” I shouted, unable to control my voice.
“Edward, calm down.” she said walking towards me. “This isn‟t what it looks
like.”
“You mean you weren‟t in the arms of the sick fuck who raped you?” my fists were
clenched into balls.
“Edward, let me explain, it‟s not what you are thinking just let me...” I cut her off.
“I was so stupid, so stupid wasn‟t I. How could I have even believed anything you
said? You were right the first night. I knew nothing about you. I must not have
learned anything about you… god. How could you do this?” my voice was
cracking, the pain was too much I felt like crying.
“Edward.” Bella said walking towards me with her arms out.
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“Don‟t touch me, don‟t fucking touch me. I‟m so fucking stupid; it was too good to
be true. Like you could ever love me, I am nothing but a failure and you would
rather be here, with this asshole then with me.” I threw the letter from the
University at her, she picked it up and read what it said then looked at me with
pity. I didn‟t need to be pitied.
“Edward, you know I don‟t think that, I could never think that. I love you, please
let me explain, please just listen to me. I love you Edward I wouldn‟t do anything
to hurt you ever.” she was crying now.
“You don‟t love me Bella. If you loved me you wouldn‟t have let this scum into our
home. You wouldn‟t have been in his arms. I am over it.”
She was sobbing harder now. “Edward please just listen.”
-
“Hey, you know, you can say whatever you want about me but she is telling the
truth man, there wasn‟t anything like that happening.” the scum spoke.
“Don‟t you fucking talk to me... Get the fuck out of my house. Both of you...
NOW!” I was being an ass and I knew it but the shock of the letter and the ripping
apart of my heart killed any hopes of me thinking before I spoke.
“I‟m not leaving you Edward, not until you talk to me, until you listen. If you want
me to go then I will.”
“Fuck it, I am done. I am done even trying anymore.” How could I have been so
stupid to think she loved me to, no one could love me, and here she is with the
man who raped her, I couldn‟t even look better than that.
What was the point anymore? I couldn‟t continue to live this stupid life.
Everything always went in the shitter for me and this along with the letter was the
icing on the cake. I was done, so with once last look at her, I turned and walked
out. I knew what I had to do, the only conclusion I could come up with.
“Edward NO!” I heard Bella scream but I didn‟t care, I needed out of there. I
wanted this shit to be over with.
I made it to my car and jumped in and took off speeding to a familiar place, a
place I had been before. To the place that for one stupid moment in life I had
thought brought me the love of my life. But now my life was over. There was no
point of pretending it meant anything, I was a huge waste of space and I would be
taking care of that soon.
I pulled into the familiar spot and sat there for a moment. I can‟t believe it had
come to this, full circle. I thought that things had changed, that they had gotten
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better. For once I was wrong in thinking that I had anything to live for. But in a
matter of an hour everything went from being perfect to being right back to
where I was before.
-
I couldn‟t do this; I couldn‟t live a life without Bella. I felt more love in a few
months then I felt in my whole life. I couldn‟t go from that feeling to what I was
feeling now and be expected to continue living. I couldn‟t be expected to and I
wasn‟t going to.
I took a few deep breaths and I got out of the car. The cool night breeze blew in
my face brining the familiar smell of the ocean front and center.
I brought my hands to my face and screamed as loud as I could into them, luckily
no one was around to witness my meltdown and soon to be death.
I walked over to the cliff, the very cliff that I had first met the girl of my dreams
and the love of my life. It was like I could hear her voice all over again from that
night.
“I will give you one day. One day to convince me that there is anything worth
living for anymore. After that I am done, I swear to god don‟t touch me, I have
been hurt enough this week and I promised that will only make me jump sooner.
Do you understand me?” she said with a bit of force.
I closed my eyes as my mind played back all my favorite moments with Bella...
“Kiss me.” she said.
“I love you, so much.” She said against my lips.
“I love you too.” going back in for another kiss.
“Edward I am ready for you to make love to me. I want you to make love to me.
Please?”
The way she smiled, how it seemed to brighten my day. The way she tried not to
snort when she was laughing too hard. How when she cried her eyes became wide
with sadness but she was still beyond beautiful. The blush that rose on her face
when she was embarrassed, or flustered, everything about Bella made me love
her.
However, I obviously didn‟t know her well enough to understand why on earth
she would be with Jake and why she would be in his arms. I couldn‟t take the
time to consider why. All the outcomes were the same.
Bad.
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So with that in my mind I proceeded to follow through with what neither of us
finished in the first venture up here. It was time for me to finally follow through
with something for once in my life. I had been distracted the first time, this time
there would be no distractions. I made my way to the place where I first met Bella
and stepped up to the edge of the cliff and closed my eyes. Letting the rest of my
mind clear, and my decision to set in, saying goodbye to everything I know and
love inside me.
With that I took my last step forward.
~*~
Chapter Twenty-Two
BPOV
“He‟s gone.“ My legs gave out and I collapsed to the cold hardwood floor sobbing.
He was gone and I had no idea where, but where ever it was, it couldn‟t possibly
be good.
I sat there, on the floor trying to get a hold of myself. After a few minutes, I took a
deep breath and I pulled myself up from the floor and searched for the phone. I
found it laying on the end table and my shaking hands dialed his number. All of
the sudden I heard the ringing of his phone going off, I spun around in the
direction of the sound, searching for it, only to find it on the kitchen counter
where he had left it to charge.
I started to sob again clutching the small silver phone to my chest.
“Bella, it will be alright, we will find him. He probably went to blow off some
steam. When he gets back, you will be able to explain everything to him.” If only
it were that simple.
“Jake, you don‟t know what you are talking about. He may not come back. I have
to find him Jake.”
“Well then I will help you find him. I will help explain that it was nothing.” Had
he lost his mind?
“Jake you have to go, you can‟t be here. He can„t see you here again Jake, he has
already got the wrong impression. You have to leave, now.”
“Bella I can‟t leave you like this. I won„t leave you this upset, you shouldn„t be
alone.”
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“You have to Jake, I won‟t be alone. I am going to call his sister, I have no choice.
We will find him. You have to go, please.” He nodded his head and with one last
look of uncertainty he left.
-
I grabbed the phone again and my fingers were still shaking as I dialed. The
phone started to ring then the line picked up.
“Hello?”
“Alice, it‟s Bella.” I couldn‟t hide my trembling voice.
“Bella, what‟s wrong, are you okay?” concern immediately colored her voice.
“No, everything is not okay Alice, it‟s Edward. You have to help me please. Come
here, he misread something after he got some bad news and he flipped out.
Please get here now. He left and I can„t get him on his phone, I think he might do
something stupid.” Sobs racked my body again.
“I will call the others Bella; sit tight we are on our way, every thing will be alright.
We will find him, you„ll see. Be there in a few.” I closed the phone and found
myself back on the floor. My knees were pulled to my body with my chin resting
on top. I rocked back and forth. Each second that past, the fear within me got
worse. Waiting for them to get her was killing me; I stared at the clock and then
the door. Every time I heard the elevator ding I stood up only to find it wasn‟t
him.
Fifteen minutes passed and I heard a commotion out in the hall. I pushed myself
off the floor once again and I ran to the door throwing it open and screaming
“Edward?” I was however greeted by the Cullen clan. All of their faces we painted
with worry.
“Bella dear, what happened?” Esme ran and threw her arms around me.
“I messed up. Billy, Jakes father died. Jake found my address and came to tell
me. Billy was like my father. Jake hugged me and Edward walked in on him
hugging me and flew off the handle. He then told me he knew he should have
never loved me that he wasn‟t worth it, that he was a failure and he showed me
this.” I handed Carlisle and Esme the letter from the University that Edward had
thrown at me.
-
“Oh, Edward what have you done?” Esme said to herself brining her hand to her
mouth.
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“I can‟t believe this, why didn‟t he tell us he was having problems in school?”
Carlisle asked shaking his head, trying to understand why his son would do this.
“He didn‟t want to be a disappointment, he said you all were so happy and perfect
and he didn‟t feel like he fit in. Everything was a struggle for him and it all came
so easy to you guys. He was having a hard time with it. That is how we met.” Oh
no, in my rambling I had said way too much.
“What do you mean that is how you met?” Carlisle asked.
I figured I might as well tell them.
“He was on the cliffs that night for the same reason I was, he was so depressed
with life and school not working out like he planned. He couldn‟t take it and had
gone up there to kill himself. He saw me and he said that we had something in
common we were both alone and in need of a friend. He suggested we try to help
each other heal. That we would live then for each other. I was scared at first but
didn‟t have anything to lose. Coming with him was the best decision of my life. I
love him, I have fallen in love with him and he is my life. We have to find him,
please.”
I don‟t know why I was telling them all this, but I was in panic mode and I was on
the verge of a meltdown. By the looks on all their faces I could tell that maybe it
wasn‟t a great idea. They ranged from shock and horror, to sadness that
something could be happening like that to one they loved and they didn‟t notice
it.
“Bella, you have to calm down sweetheart we will find him.” Esme embraced me
trying to get me to calm down.
“Where would he have gone Bella?” I had no clue. I tried to think and everything
was just jumbled together.
-
“Bella, we will find him, he will be ok.” It was Alice now comforting me. How
could they all be so calm? This was Edward, he was in trouble.
“Alice, he told me to get out, he wouldn‟t listen. I think he thought I took Jacob
back, I tried to tell him Billy died but he wouldn‟t listen. If he thinks I am going
back to Jake, that I never loved him then….” and then it hit me like a ton of
bricks. I knew where he was. I didn‟t know why I didn‟t think of it before but I
had to get there and soon, before it was too late.
“I know where he is.” I started in horror at them.
“Where?” Emmett asked.
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“He‟s gone back; he‟s going to follow through this time. He had told me he was a
failure, that he never followed through with anything. That letter proved in his
mind he was right. He is going to attempt to follow through with this.” I could feel
the realization hit, and I started to get light headed again. I fought to keep myself
alert, I would be no help to Edward passed out on the floor.
“What? No!” Alice screeched. “He wouldn‟t do that, he can‟t. He just needs to
listen, why didn‟t he listen?” Sobs had now claimed Alice as well as Esme.
The thought that their loved one had planned to take his life was shock enough.
Now hit with the fact that he was most likely on his way to finish what he didn‟t
the first time was too much for them to handle.
“We have to go, we have to go now, he will have been there by now.” With that we
all ran downstairs to the cars; I didn‟t even bother locking up. We took the stairs
instead of wasting time with the elevator and made our way out to the cars. We
broke up into groups seeing as we all wouldn‟t fit in one car. I jumped in with
Alice and Jasper in order to give directions. The others followed behind us in a
race to save Edward.
-
It seemed like it took forever to get there and I couldn‟t sit still the whole way. I
fidgeted with my hands, drumming my fingers on the arm rest, biting my lip
while I stared out the window praying we were on time. I kept saying over and
over in my head “please make it on time, please let him be okay.”
When Alice‟s car came around the curve to the opening to the cliffs her lights
flashed across his Volvo and I noticed it was empty, my heart stopped beating,
and I searched the cliff edge for him praying that I wasn‟t too late.
I threw open the door and was out of the car before it came to a full stop and I
strained my eyes in the dark to find any trace of him. I could hear the other cars
arriving and cutting off their engines, their doors opening and closing.
The lump in my throat grew larger and larger the longer I looked to find a hint of
him at all and not seeing anything.
I was too late; he followed through with what he wanted to do... I was too late,
tears were clouding my visions as I frantically searched for him and he just wasn‟t
there.
I felt my knees go weak and give out, and I fell to the ground sobbing. I could
hear the other run up to me and try to make sure I was ok. I looked up and Alice‟s
face was pressed into Jaspers shoulder. Emmett was staring into space with his
arm wrapped around Rose who had tears in her eyes she was fighting to hold
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back and Carlisle and Esme looked like they had no idea what to do. No one
wanted to look over the edge to confirm what we already knew, that he had
followed through this time.
I turned my head and looked out beyond the cliff‟s edge, my mind was working in
overdrive trying to protect itself from the reality of the situation, and he was
gone.
That is when I heard it. A low humming sound coming from the cliff, I searched
frantically for the source of the sound, straining my eyes as best as I could,
pleading with them to find what I longed to see.
“Edward?” I sprang to my feet and looked harder.
-
Then I spotted him. He was standing in the same exact spot that he had found me
in months ago. He was wearing such dark clothes and it was so dark outside that
it had made him nearly impossible to see, but it was him, he was there, alive.
What I saw next made my heart stop yet again. He took a step toward the cliff,
and then went to take what would be his last step.
“NO! Edward stop!!” I screamed, the whole family suddenly searching for their
love one.
I heard gasps from behind me and I suddenly felt Emmett start to pass me.
“Emmett, please, stay here I need to talk to him myself.” Emmett looked at me
with pain in his eyes and then back to that of his brother. He simply nodded and
backed up to his family.
I ran towards Edward stopping a few feet away from him, he stared blankly out at
the water.
“Edward, please, please come talk to me.” I tried to keep my voice steady.
I glanced behind me at the faces of all of his family. They were back there scared
out of their mind that he would kill himself, and they all would bear witness to it.
“Bella, just leave me alone.” he said in a monotone voice. I took a step forward.
“No, I will not leave you alone, I love you and you are going to listen to me.” I
took another step forward. “You are my life Edward. You are not a failure; you are
my hero, my love, my everything. I am sorry about school, but together, you and
I, we will fix this. I am so proud of you. You worked so hard to get your grades up
and that is all you could do. You tried.” my voice pleading with him to
understand, to listen to what I was saying.
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-
He put his head in his hands and I could hear him release a muffled sob, his body
was shaking and I longed to wrap my arms around him, to let him know I was
here, we were all here and we loved him and needed him in our lives.
“Bella, I can‟t face them. I am a failure and a huge disappointment to them.” I
knew he meant his family.
“They love YOU Edward, not grades, you!” I took another step to him. “You are
their child, their brother and their friend, they love you for you. Something as
stupid as grades isn„t going to make them stop loving you. I love you for you
Edward, you could never disappoint me.”
“Then why?” he asked.
“Why what?” I took yet another step to him now standing side by side. He
continued to face straight ahead.
“Why were you with Jake, Bella? In our home, how could you let that monster
into our home? How could you let him touch you Bella, after all that he has done
to you? Do you have any idea what I thought when I walked in there and saw
that? I thought he was attacking you again, and then I noticed you hugged him
back.” I could here the pain leak out in his voice.
“Edward, if you would have let me explain, Billy is dead. Jake had looked my new
address up in the admissions office. He just came to tell me Billy had died. You
know Billy was the closest thing to a father I had since Charlie died. Jake told me
and I was upset. In that moment I wasn„t thinking about what Jake had done to
me, all I could think was the last person I had alive, that resembled family was
gone now to, that I was truly alone. He said sorry, that he would never come here
again but wanted me to know. That is all it was Edward. In that moment Jake
wasn‟t my rapist, it didn‟t matter. All that mattered was Billy was gone. Do you
see? It was nothing more, I love you, how could you think that of me?”
“Oh God.” he had turned to face me. “Bella, the things I said to you...”
-
I cut him off. “They don‟t matter, you were upset. I forgive you.”
“Bella, I don‟t deserve you, I am nothing, you could do so much better then me. “
I took a hold of his hand.
“Edward you are not nothing, you are my everything. If you jump, you take me
with you.” I held up our joined hands. “I will not live without you. Do you
understand me? So what is it going to be?” I turned and faced the water. “Are we
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jumping or are we going home?” I squeezed his hand tighter and continued to
look out into the darkness. “I refuse to be where you aren‟t beside me Edward, I
refuse. So what are we doing?”
“Bella?” I could tell he was worried about his family behind him.
“I am sorry Edward, I didn‟t know who else to call. But it all came out, and they
love you. YOU, Edward, not a GPA. They are so worried.” He looked out to the
water with me as we stood their waiting for him to make his choice.
“So are we jumping or not?” I asked again. I was one hundred percent serious. I
was not living a life where Edward didn‟t exist.
Suddenly he dropped my hand and turned to face me, I followed him turning my
body to face him. A small smirk played on his face, but didn‟t reach his eyes. He
pulled me closer to him crashing me into his hard chest and wrapped his arms as
tight as he could around me. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and
began to whisper his apologies.
“Not,” he said. “I love you Bella, I am so sorry I did this to you.”
I pulled back, taking his face into my hands and looking him straight in the eye.
“We are even now, you saved me, and I saved you. Can we just stay away from
these damn cliffs now?”
-
“Yes, of course.” with that he pressed his lips to mine and I was more then eager
to kiss him back. The moment he kissed me my heart began to beat again.
I finally broke the kiss and Edward buried his face into my neck again. “I have
made such a fool out of myself. I don‟t know what to say to them.” I squeezed him
tighter.
“Edward, I think at the moment they are just happy that you are alright. Let them
hug you, they were so worried. Come on, your mother and Alice need to know
you‟re alright.”
With that we started walking towards the family. Alice came sprinting toward
him and he released my hand in order to catch Alice as she jumped at him tears
staining her face.
“Don‟t you ever, EVER do that to me again Edward Anthony Cullen. DO YOU
HEAR ME? How dare you not come and speak to me about something being
wrong. How dare you think I would be upset with you over something like this. I
love you so much; please know that I could never be disappointed in you. You„re
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my best friend and brother, I will always love you.” she said squeezing him so
hard I thought he would be having trouble with air flow.
“I‟m sorry Alice, I love you too.” she released him then, making way for Esme.
“Edward. “ She said pulling him to her. “My sweet, sensitive son. Don‟t you every
put me through that again do you hear me? You are my child, first and foremost,
nothing will every top that. Grades can be fixed, losing you, I could never heal
from something like that. Don‟t you ever try to take yourself from me again young
man.” She kissed his cheeks and brushed the hair out of his face.
“I‟m so sorry mom. I promise I won‟t do it again.” he turned to find Carlisle
standing there.
“Edward I am sorry if I have ever made you feel like I wouldn‟t love you if your
grades were bad. If I ever made you feel that they were more important than your
happiness, or that anything could ever be more important to me then you, I am
truly sorry.”
-
“Dad, it was my fault, my problems and overreaction to things. You all have been
nothing but wonderful family and friends. I am sorry I put you all through this. I
was stupid to do that to you, to not know that you loved me unconditionally.”
“We do Eddie. We all love you. Now dammit, group hug!” Emmett‟s loud voice
boomed in the silence.
Edward laughed and everyone piled on him giving him a hug.
“Now can we please go home, get away from this place?” Emmett asked.
“Yes! “Edward grabbed my hand. “Let‟s all get off this damn cliff.”
With that we all left this place, with hopes of never returning.
~*~
Epilogue
It has been a year since that night on the cliffs with Edward and things in our life
had taken a change for the better.
Once we got home that night everyone sat down in the living room and had a
family discussion. I went to excuse myself but everyone told me to stay, that I was
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family. We talked about what had brought Edward and I to our choices to make
the trip to end our lives.
They talked to me about how they would never know the full extent of what I
went through, but that they loved me as if I was their own daughter, or sister, that
I was welcomed to come to them anytime I needed. To Edward they talked about
how they loved him and were sorry if they every made him feel anything less. At
one point Esme and Carlisle asked to speak to Edward in private. Edward never
told me what they said but apparently it worked.
Carlisle and Esme understood our need to help each other but suggested that we
each go to counseling. They said that while we are a great help to each other, to
truly heal we needed to be around others that knew what we were going through.
After their talk both of us agreed to counseling. Edward went for depression and I
went to a support group of victims of rape.
I actually enjoyed my group, it was nice to know I wasn‟t alone, to know that
there were others that had gone through what I had, some had even made a
similar plan to end their life but didn‟t.
Edwards counseling worked out even better then expected. He admired the work
that his counselor did and the fact that he was able to help someone through
things in their life and be a better person. Edward was under so much stress
trying to go through with art that it wasn‟t bringing him the joy that it once did.
Once he saw the work at the center he changed his major. He saw it as his chance
to help others and possibly save lives. I had never seen him happier, more relaxed
than I did the day he made that choice.
-
Both Edward and I volunteered at a suicide prevention center once we ourselves
got a handle on thing. We felt sharing our experience with others in the same
situation would be helpful. That we could show them that not only was there
other ways, but that they weren‟t alone, there were people that understood what
they were going through, that people did care about them and they would help
them get through this.
Life was going great.
School had started up again and I was on my way to becoming a high school
English teacher. I was student teaching at a local school and loving every minute
of it.
We spent every ounce of our free time with Edward's family. They had truly
become my family in every way. Alice and Emmett were like the siblings I never
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had, which made Rose and Jasper my siblings as well, seeing as no one was ever
away from their other half.
I had attended Billy‟s funeral a few days after he died. Edward and his family
came to support me. While none of them had ever met him, they wanted to be
there for me because he was the last remaining family member I had. Jacob was
there, but he kept his distance. We spoke once when he thanked me and the
Cullen‟s for coming and that was the last time I saw him.
I loved Jake from my childhood and he was a tie to my family but the damage had
been done and our friendship was beyond repair. I learned to forgive him in
order to move on with my life, but it was to much to ask that we remain friendly.
The last I had heard of him from random acquaintances he was happily dating
someone, and he had moved on in life. The part of me that held memories of our
life before the rape was happy for him. Other than that, he wasn‟t a thought in my
mind.
I had taken Edward to my hometown to see where I grew up as a child, my old
house. I took him to my parent‟s grave with me and he held me when I started to
cry at the fact that they would never get to meet him or see how happy I was. We
made a promise to come back here a few times a year to visit them. Something I
had a hard time doing alone, but now I had him to be there for me.
Everything was perfect, he was perfect.
-
Christmas time rolled around and everyone planned to spend the holidays at the
Cullen‟s home. It was amazing to be surrounded by such warm people, who truly
loved one another.
Edward had been acting a little off for a few weeks leading up to Christmas and I
thought maybe his exams were getting to him, or the Christmas season just in
general. I didn‟t want him to have a relapse of depression so made sure to keep an
eye on him. He continued to insist that nothing was wrong. I spoke to his parents
about it and asked them if they had noticed any changes in him and they both
said that he was being himself.
Once Christmas break started we arrived at the Cullen‟s and helped them
decorate the house and went shopping together. It was nice to be involved in the
family dynamic again. I felt like I belonged.
I watched as Emmett would lift Alice to help her put ornaments on the higher
branches of the massive tree in the Cullen living room. I felt like I was in one of
those movies that showcased these happy family‟s it was perfect down to the
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Frank Sinatra holiday music in the background. It was picture perfect, everyone
laughing and covered in tinsel.
Christmas morning came and I felt like I was five all over again being woken up
by a bouncing Alice who was beyond giddy to get downstairs and open her
presents. We all sat around the tree with Alice playing Santa and handing out the
gifts. I watched with wide eyes at the gifts this family gave to each other. Some of
most extravagant things I had ever seen had been gifted and I had a moment of
self doubt that what I had gotten everyone wasn't enough. In the end everyone
loved it. Of course I was beyond embarrassed about the amount that the things
they bought must have cost.
However, if I thought I was shocked then, what happened next sure threw me for
a loop.
Each member of the family had an envelope in their hand and they all looked at
me with huge smiles on their faces. Alice looked as if she was about to exploded,
as they stood in front of me with their hands extended to me holding out their
envelope.
-
“Start at the beginning and open each envelope until you get to Edward.” Carlisle
said at the head of the line.
I didn‟t know what to think and I was a bit worried. I slowly took the envelope
from Carlisle and ripped it open pulling out a piece of paper and read what was
written on it.
“Isabella Marie Swan.” I read aloud.
I moved to Rosalie taking her letter and opening it.
“Please”
Next in line was Alice, who was bouncing up and down.
“Do Us”
I moved on to Emmett, who shoved his letter at me eagerly while a huge toothy
grin was plastered on his face.
“The Honor”
Then Jasper, who was shaking his head at the two before him.
“Of Joining”
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Tears started to form in my eyes as I knew what Esme‟s letter must say. I took it
from her my hands trembling.
-
“Our Family” I looked at Esme‟s eyes tears freely flowing from not only my eyes
but hers as well as she placed a kiss on my cheek and nodded towards Edward.
Edward reached out his hand to me and pulled me toward him and handed me
the last envelope.
“I love you Bella, more then words will ever be able to describe.”
My hands continued to shake as I slowly ripped opened the last envelope. I closed
my eyes and I pulled the piece of paper out, not wanting to get my hopes up that
this is what I thought it was.
When I was finally able to open my eyes, Edward was now down on one knee in
front of me as his family stood around watching.
I flipped the piece of paper over and my voice cracked as I read the last message…
“M-Marry me” I felt Edward take a hold of my left hand as I cried.
“Isabella Marie Sawn, will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man
alive and marry me?”
“Yes, of course I will yes.” I leaned down throwing my arms around his neck and
kissing him while still crying. I could taste my salty tears mixing in with our kiss.
He took my hand and slid on the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. A silver
band with tiny diamonds on the side and in the middle a small round stone, it
was very simple, it was me and I loved it.
“I love you so much Edward.”
-
“I love you too.” He stood throwing his arms around my waist and lifting me.
Holding me tight as he spun me around and placed me back on my feet. “You
have made me the happiest man alive.”
Once he released me from his loving arms the family rushed over and gave their
congratulations and welcomed me to the family.
“Even though you have always been part of the family.” Esme said, pulling me
into a tight squeeze.
“Now we really will be sisters.” said Alice throwing her arms around me.
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“You‟re stuck with me.” said Emmett as he pulled me into a huge bear hug that
cut off my air flow.
“Emmett, can‟t. Breathe.” He laughed and released me.
That was Christmas, but it is now the beginning of summer and classes are over.
Carlisle and Esme had bought us a house as an early wedding gift. We had
decided to get married next spring. Alice, of course, had decided to take over as
wedding planner and had begun planning the wedding as soon as she heard me
say yes to Edward. So all of our free time had been spent planning the wedding
and packing up our apartment.
We were saying goodbye to every part of our past that held even a small amount
of bad memories. While this apartment also held some great memories, like our
first kiss, I was more than happy to be on my way to our new home where we
could make new memories.
-
After we loaded the last of our things, we took one last look around and dropped
off our apartment keys at the front desk. We made our way to the car and headed
to our new house, the ride was silent and we held hands, Edward rubbing
soothing circles with his thumb. We pulled up to our new place and could see that
everyone was there. We got out of the car each grabbing what we could and made
our way into the home, our home.
The house was a small white three bedroom home about a 10 minute drive from
the Cullen‟s home. It had a white picket fenced front yard, with beautiful flowers
of every color in it. The outside had a little wrap around porch and blue shudders.
Inside was amazing hardwood floors and Esme and Alice were in the process of
helping us paint and decorate. This would be the home where Edward and I
would start our new life together and where we would eventually start our family.
Even though all our furniture hadn‟t arrived yet, my family had taken things they
could find and set up a small table and seats. On the make-shift table was pizza
and soda. They were all sitting around laughing and eating. Someone had found
all the candles they could and lit them placing them around the room giving it a
dim glow along with the setting sun outside.
“Well are you going to stand there or come get some grub?” Emmett asked and
motioned us over.
Edward, box still in hand, leaned over kissed my cheek and placed his box on the
floor and took the one from my hand doing the same. He grabbed my hand and
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led me over to the family where we sat and laughed while eating, talking like we
had always been part of one another‟s lives.
Once we cleaned up, the rest of the family decided to head home, all promising to
come back in the morning with breakfast to help us finish up. Edward and I
grabbed our drinks and went and sat on the porch. The cool summer night air
blew the aroma of freshly cut grass all around us. Edward sat down on the porch
steps and I sat in between his legs, leaning my head back looking up at him.
“I have never been happier than I am at this very moment with you.”
He leaned down and looked at me, his face holding one of his beautiful crooked
smiles. He placed a kiss on my lips and smiled.
-
“Me either and this is all thanks to you Bella.” He wrapped his arms around me
and rested his chin on my head.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, forever.”
“Forever.”
~*~
- The End -