plik

Chapter One

Craven hesitated before he picked up the phone and began to dial.
“Don‟t be long. I‟m not supposed to let you use it,” the front desk clerk told him. But the man

had been attracted to Craven. He saw it in his eyes. He could always see it, the way they looked at
him with desire. Even though he‟d pierced both ears, his eyebrow, and his lower lip, they still
wanted him. His tattoos extended over his arms and hands, his chest, his back, and spots on his
legs. He liked the look because it had worked for his career, but now that he faced the truth that
he‟d never be a big star, he didn‟t know what to do.

The phone line rang as he pressed the receiver to his ear, and he closed his eyes. If Trevor

didn‟t want to help, he‟d be in deep trouble. He sighed in relief when a deep voice came on the
line, and he felt the familiar attraction he always did with his friend.

“Trev, it‟s Craven,” he said.
“Craven, you finally remembered my number.” Craven smiled at the pleasure he heard in

Trevor‟s voice. Trevor had always been nice to him. He hoped it was not because his sister and he
had dated for a short while in high school. They‟d picked it up again about two years ago, but he
didn‟t know how it was going. Craven hadn‟t called home in a couple years.

“I don‟t have a lot of time to talk, but I wondered if you could help me out.” His face

reddened, and his hands were wet and clammy. He switched the receiver to the other ear. “I want
to come back home, but I don‟t want Connie to know. She‟ll only ride me.”

Trevor hesitated a moment before he answered. “Well, that‟s going to be a little tough. I mean

I‟ll help you no problem, but well…Connie might figure it out since she‟s my roommate.”

Craven‟s heart sank. “You two are still together?”
“No, that‟ll never happen again, but we share an apartment. Reason why is probably more

time than you have on the phone. We have separate bedrooms, no mixing—not even a desire.”

Craven couldn‟t help the relief he felt, even hope at how Trevor went on and on trying to

convince him that he was no longer interested in Connie. Not that Craven planned to do anything
about his attraction. He‟d known for years that he was gay, but he‟d never acted on it—not once.

“Well, I guess I don‟t have a choice,” he said. “I‟ll pay you back.”
Trevor‟s tone turned softer. “Don‟t worry about it. I‟ll send you whatever you need. Los

Angeles?”

“Yeah,” Craven muttered. “Thanks, Trev. Thanks a lot.”

* * * *

Craven stepped off the bus with his duffel tossed over one shoulder. He walked into the

terminal and glanced around. He spotted Trevor right off, especially because he stood a good
head above everyone else in the place and wore suits like they were his casual clothes. His dark
hair was combed back in ordered waves, and his strong jaw was clean-shaven. Trevor was built
with broad shoulders and a big chest. His muscled physique put other men to shame, and Craven
always liked just looking at him.

As he strolled up, Trevor smiled, revealing even white teeth. He held out a hand, and Craven

took it before Trevor drew him in for a hug. The only man he knew who was comfortable
hugging another man who wasn‟t family, Craven thought. Yet he was straight.

“Hey, buddy,” Trevor said. He touched the ring in Craven‟s lip with the tip of his finger

sending a zing of desire through Craven. “Another one?”

Craven shrugged and gave a shy smile. “It worked for the look I was going for.”
“Human pin cushion?” Trevor suggested.

He laughed. Trevor teased him, but he‟d never judged, not once. He respected Craven‟s

choices and offered advice only if Craven asked for it. Connie on the other hand was a constant
nag.

As they left the bus station walking to Trevor‟s car, his friend threw an arm around his

shoulders and ruffled his hair. “It‟s good to see you. I‟m glad you‟re safe. You had us worried for
a while.”

“I‟m a big boy,” Craven responded, but he liked to know Trevor cared. When they were

settled in the BMW, he pressed a fist lightly into his stomach. He‟d used the last of his money to
settle his bills in L.A. He was starving, but he‟d already bummed enough off Trevor and didn‟t
want to be a burden.

To distract himself from the growling in his center, he watched Trevor behind the wheel. His

strong hand gripped the leather and maneuvered with precision as he took the highway home.
Trevor‟s eyes were warm brown, and they lighted just a little when he was excited. They became
stormy and dark when he was upset. Connie had said they were like a mood ring which made his
ordinary eyes extraordinary. Craven wondered if that‟s what made her fall for him back in school.
But it hadn‟t lasted, because who could put up with Connie for long. Still, when she told him
they‟d decided to try it again two years ago, he‟d stopped calling home.

“So what have you been up to?” Trevor asked. “Is this a visit or you staying a while? How‟s

the music?”

The weight Craven dealt with from his failure seemed to manifest once again. He couldn‟t

bear Trevor thinking he was a loser even if he was. “I‟m back to stay. I…couldn‟t make it in the
biz, so I walked away.”

Trevor squeezed his shoulder. “You‟re only twenty-eight. You could still—”
“No,” he interrupted. “I‟ve been at it since I was seventeen. When is it enough? When do I

say I‟m not going to be the next big thing? I think if I was ever going to be anything it would be
singing in a fucking bar for peanuts. No, I‟m done. I thought about it for a long time before I
called you. I‟m not going back.”

“I‟m sorry, man. I know how much you wanted it.”
“Yeah.” Craven put his seat back and relaxed with an arm across his head to block out the

sun. Coming back home wouldn‟t be so bad. “Maybe I can get a job with you,” he joked.

“Maybe you can.” Trevor smiled. Craven peered at him from under his arm. He caught the

look, the one men gave him when they were interested, but then Trevor turned his attention back
to road. Must be my imagination, he decided. Trevor snapped his fingers and turned the wheel.
“You know I skipped breakfast this morning. How about we stop somewhere?”

“I‟m not really hungry,” Craven lied.
“My treat,” Trevor coaxed.
He hesitated. “Okay, fine.”
They were soon sitting across from each other in a booth at an all you can eat joint. Craven

could have kissed Trevor for his choice of where to go. He flushed at his thoughts and
concentrated on his piled high plate. After they‟d each shoveled several forkfuls of food into their
mouths and chewed them down, they fell into easy conversation.

“I see you still live and breathe in suits,” Craven teased.
“And you in your ripped jeans and T-shirts,” Trevor countered with a laugh. “We‟re as

opposite as two men can be.”

Craven glanced down at his favorite shirt which depicted a giant skull and crossbones. A bit

stereotypical, but he didn‟t care. “Goes with—”

“Let me guess. Goes with „the look‟?”
Craven shrugged. He discovered a bit of gravy on the side of his hand and stuck his tongue

out to lick it. A gasp to his right made him look up and he found a young girl about six or seven
staring at him, mesmerized by the ball in his tongue, among other things. He waited for her to run

screaming or make some derogatory remark, but instead she broke out into a huge smile and
whispered, “Cool.”

Craven chuckled, and the girl‟s mother hurried up and grabbed her hand to drag her away. He

waved away her embarrassed apology as she left. When he turned back to Trevor it was to find
him watching him closely, his expression unreadable.

“I guess you get that a lot,” Trevor said. “By the way you stiffened it seemed like it‟s not

always positive.”

“Not always. I can‟t help how other people feel.” Hell, I can’t help how I feel, he thought.

He‟d seen the concern in Trevor‟s eyes. “Were you serious about helping me get work?”

“Of course. A few people in HR owe me some favors, and I‟m not a nobody down there.”

Trevor was a manager in the marketing department of his mid-sized firm. “It will probably be
something menial though.”

“That‟s fine,” Craven told him eagerly. “I just need a paycheck at this point. I‟ll even work in

the mailroom or shipping or whatever.”

“I‟ll try to convince them to let you work in my unit, so you can be close by and I can look

out for you. And you can stay with me as long as you like.”

Craven tried not to let the words warm him too much. “Thanks. I‟ll pull my fair share of the

bills as soon as I can.”

“I know you will, but it‟s not a big deal.”
Craven studied his handsome face. “Why do you look out for me so much? You‟ve always

been there through everything. Is it because of Connie?” He dropped his gaze to the napkin he
was shredding between two fingers. “I was fifteen when I met you and you were dating Connie.
You were nice to me.”

The simple words he used embarrassed him. He felt like a kid still, looking for the approval of

the captain of the football team. Trevor had defended him when a few guys were bullying him,
calling him a fag back then. No one questioned Trevor‟s manhood because of his status and the
fact that he was dating a popular girl, Connie. Maybe he‟d done it because it was expected of
him—to take care of his girlfriend‟s little brother. But Trevor had done other things for him too.
He‟d gone the extra mile befriending him. There wasn‟t a day that went by when Craven didn‟t
think about Trevor after that.

Trevor finished up his food and pushed his plate away while wiping his mouth. “We hit it off,

didn‟t we? We‟re buddies. You‟re only three years younger than I am. Not that much.”

“We don‟t even like the same music,” Craven countered. He knew he was digging for

something warmer, but he couldn‟t stop himself.

“I like your music.”
Craven‟s face warmed. “Thanks.”
“You‟ve always been quiet,” Trevor said. “Not shy exactly, just not a lot to say. I listen to the

words of the songs you compose. You put it in there, don‟t you? What you think and feel.”

Craven clenched his hand on the seat beside him. “Shouldn‟t we get going, or did you take the

day off work?”

The expression on Trevor‟s face said he knew what Craven was trying to do. “Are you sure

you had enough?”

He patted his belly, and Trevor‟s gaze followed his hand. “Y-Yeah, I‟m done.” Boy, he was

glad for the moment he was sitting down. Why did every look or touch from Trevor excite him?
He was surprised the man didn‟t already know how he felt about him, but maybe he did know,
and he ignored it. That thought cooled Craven down, and he was able to rise without his semi-
erection being obvious.

“I took the morning off, but I‟ll have to go in this afternoon,” Trevor explained on the way out

the door. “I have a few hours yet.”

“Is she home? Did you tell her?”

“She knows you‟re coming. I had to tell her that, or she‟d really be pissed. But no, she‟s not

home.”

“Why do you live together?” Craven demanded and then could have bitten his tongue off for

sounding like a jealous lover. “Sorry, it‟s probably not my business.”

They approached the car from the driver side, and Trevor dropped back a step in the narrow

aisle to let Craven pass in front of him. Craven didn‟t know how it happened, but they were too
close, and his ass brushed Trevor‟s crotch as he moved by him. His cock, which had gone down,
hardened immediately, and rushed over to his side of the car. Since Trevor had already unlocked
it, Craven jumped in and twisted to search his bag in the back seat. He yanked a Rolling Stone
magazine from it and set the glossy pages open on his lap.

Trevor settled in the car beside him and paused. “You okay?”
Craven nodded without looking up. “Yeah, fine.”
His friend started the car and pulled out of the lot onto the road. Craven considered glancing

over to see what kind of reaction Trevor had from their impact, but he chickened out. From the
sound of Trevor‟s voice, he seemed unaffected. With his heart in his throat, Craven sat in silence
for a few miles. When his emotions settled, he asked, “So if you‟re not seeing Connie, do you
have a girlfriend?”

Again, he didn‟t look up from the article he‟d read a hundred times and wasn‟t paying

attention to it now. His muscles ached they were so tense, and he needed a glass of water for his
throat despite the fact that he drunk several at the restaurant. He never drank soft drinks.

“Off and on,” Trevor said. No offense colored his tone. That was one of the things Craven

liked about him. “Off right now, which doesn‟t do well for the needs if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Craven echoed.
“What about you? Boyfriend?”
Craven stiffened. His sexuality was no secret to either Trevor or Connie. Hell, it had been

Connie who had demanded in her way that he tell their parents about his preference when they‟d
referred to future grandkids years ago. He had given in to his sister‟s pushing at him until he‟d
admitted the truth to his parents. He had some peace knowing they‟d accepted him for what he
was before they were both killed in a plane crash. He still missed them after six years.

“No,” he muttered. “No boyfriend.”
“Hm, I guess if you did he‟d have come with you anyway.”
“Or I wouldn‟t have left.”
“He would come,” Trevor affirmed. Now Craven looked at him, but he could glean nothing of

what his friend was thinking.

They pulled up in front of his house, a two story brick home. Craven had been here when

Trevor bought the place. He‟d always admired it because he and Connie grew up across town, in
the lower class area. Their parents had never had much money, and the house they lived in was
rented. Trevor had grown up a couple miles from here, where his parents still lived.

“You forgot to tell me why she‟s here,” Craven said.
Trevor chuckled. “No, I didn‟t.”
Craven smiled. In L.A., he hadn‟t done much of that. There hadn‟t been much positive to

make him, and since he had been going for the brooding, misunderstood musician type, which
he‟d been told his look pulled off well, he hadn‟t had to.

They entered the house from the garage which led into the hall. He followed Trevor into the

living room and caught his breath. Over the uncovered stone fireplace on a large expanse of wall
was a painting of him in concert. He strolled closer to study it. The colored lights reflected on his
face and especially his eyes. Emotions swirled in their depths he‟d never spoken aloud except in
his music. Trevor had been right. He put everything in his songs.

“Where did you get this? Why?” His throat felt hoarse, and he cleared it. “I‟ve never sung in

front of a crowd that big.” He left unsaid that it showed him up even bigger as a failure.

When he looked around behind him, Trevor was standing there with his hands tucked into his

pockets, rocking on his heels while watching Craven. “A guy Connie brought around not long ago
saw a picture of you. He is an artist and decided he liked your face. He painted it, and when I saw
it, I bought it off him.”

Craven frowned. “Why…I mean, she dated him?”
Trevor smirked. “No, a study pal. She went back to school. Going for her PhD this time.”

When Craven said nothing, Trevor blurted, “He‟s gay.”

“Oh.”
“Maybe I should get him to add in the lip ring,” Trevor teased.
“Naw, it won‟t be there long if I get to work at your office. I don‟t suppose it would look too

good with me having all this.” He gestured to his face.

Trevor stared at him. “Not everything. It‟s you.”
Craven glanced away to the painting again. The piece was too good. He‟d been given a leather

sleeveless jacket open to show off his tattoos from neck to navel and disappearing into his
waistband. His abs were somewhat tighter in the painting than in reality. Maybe Trevor didn‟t
know truly what he was saying. Gay men picked Craven out in a crowd like they knew he was a
virgin with men and wanted to be the one to pop his cherry.

He questioned himself all the time about why he hadn‟t acted on his feelings. He had no

excuse. His family had accepted him. His closest friend didn‟t judge him, so what of it?

The problem was that one memorable kiss.
“Come here,” Trevor said, interrupting his thoughts. “I want to give you something.”
Craven frowned in confusion but went over to him. When he stopped beside the couch,

Trevor moved closer to him as he dug a hand into his back pocket. He pulled out his wallet, but
Craven took a step back. “No, that‟s not necessary.”

Trevor grabbed his hand and jerked it forward. Craven‟s fingers brushed Trevor‟s abs, and he

felt the hardened muscle under his touch. His gaze flew up to meet Trevor‟s, but his friend was as
calm as usual. “Take it.” He slapped a few bills into Craven‟s palm. “I said I would help you, and
this is me doing it. You need it.”

Craven took the money. He thought he should move away since they were standing so close,

but he couldn‟t make his feet move. He liked being so near to Trevor. Warmth rolled off him,
comfort, and a sense of being protected. Anyone looking at Craven wouldn‟t think he needed it,
but in some ways, Craven thrived off of Trevor‟s strength. He was glad he‟d pushed past his own
shame to come back.

“Thanks,” he muttered. “When I get my first check, I‟ll pay you back.”
“Don‟t insult me.”
“Trev—”
The other man dropped a hand on his shoulder. The touch and their nearness wrecked havoc

with his desire. He was glad Trevor was focused on his face, because he was rock solid, and his
pants at the crotch had become tighter than they already were.

“I said don‟t worry about it, okay? Would you do me that favor?”
Craven met Trevor‟s gaze then. He was lost in their depths wanting to look at Trevor forever.

He wondered what it would be like to sleep with him and what his hands would feel like wrapped
around Craven‟s cock. Would it taste good if he went down on Trevor, or was that good only in
fantasies and pornos?

Realizing the direction of his thoughts, he lowered his eyes in case Trevor saw his desire and

was disgusted by it. “Yeah, I‟ll do that for you.”

He was taken by surprise when Trevor drew him into his arms. His heart raced, and his breath

stuck in his throat. Trevor rested a big palm on his head. They might have been the same height,
but Trevor had always come across to him as larger than life. Craven was careful not to let his

cock come in close enough to touch Trevor, but he enjoyed the feeling of their chests coming
together.

“Don‟t worry about anything,” Trevor whispered. “I know it must have been hell for you to

come back. It was admitting defeat, and you probably feel worthless, but that‟s not true. Myself
and a lot of others love your music, and if L.A. couldn‟t see it, fuck them.”

Craven sucked in a noisy breath. He shut his eyes so tight they hurt, and he held onto Trevor

with all his strength. He expected at any second, Trevor would push him back, but he let him stay
in his arms. The embrace was a balm to Craven‟s soul. He let it warm him and fed off of it for
nights when he lay alone. Trevor smelled good like shampoo and men‟s cologne. Strands of his
hair brushed Craven‟s cheek, and it was all he could do not to move his head so the silky hair
could caress him.

Being here like this with Trevor reminded him of that time long ago when he was eighteen.

That was when his music was at his darkest, mainly because he‟d been denying himself and it tore
him to pieces inside. He‟d gotten a girlfriend that year, his first, and the experience had been a
disaster. That time had also been the only time he‟d let himself cry other than when his parents
died.

After they‟d had sex, she‟d laughed and thanked him. He couldn‟t understand what all the

humor was about. Of course he‟d been clumsy, but it was his first time. He‟d admitted that much.
Only after did he realize what she thought—that it was his first time with a woman but not a man.
She‟d had a bet going with her friends that she was hot enough to get a gay man in bed. And he‟d
been the dupe that fell for it.

That night he ran out of her room, which they‟d used because her parents were out of town,

and he‟d gone the first place where he had always felt protected and cared about. He‟d gone to
Trevor.

While he had stood on the front steps sobbing, he heard Trevor yell to his parents that he‟d get

it. He opened the door, saw Craven, and jerked him inside. “It‟s one of my buddies,” he called
toward the living room and dragged Craven up to his room.

Craven dropped on the floor and leaned on the side of Trevor‟s bed with his face in his hands.

Shame washed over him. At that moment, he hated himself and what he was. Trevor didn‟t say a
word. He slid down beside him and thumped Craven‟s leg with a crumpled T-shirt. Craven used it
to scrub at his face and nose.

“Did the gig not go well?” Trevor said.
“I wish that was it,” Craven answered. That past weekend had been one of his performances,

and it had gone very well. “You remember I told you about the girl I was seeing.”

“Yeah.” Craven thought he sounded irritated, but when he looked at Trevor, it was his same

friendly face.

“We…uh…”
Trevor‟s eyes widened. “You couldn‟t get it up?”
Craven frowned. “I got it up fine.” He didn‟t say he got his cock hard imagining men he‟d

once seen on a gay porn site.

“So what happened?”
Craven couldn‟t look him in the eye. He turned straight ahead and stared across the room. On

the opposite wall hung pendants, a helmet, and Trevor‟s high school football jersey. Everyone
was surprised when Trevor didn‟t go out for sports in college. His partial scholarship had been for
academics, not sports.

Pain tightened in Craven‟s chest. Fresh tears welled in his eyes, and at that moment, aside

from the hurt of being used, he hated the thought of Trevor thinking he was punk, crying the way
was doing. He cleaned his face once again with the shirt Trevor had given him. “It was my first
time,” he sobbed. “My first with…a girl…with anyone. She did it as a bet. H-Her and her
friends.”

That was the first time Trevor hugged him so tight. He was eighteen to Trevor‟s twenty-one.

Trevor had been dating girls in college off and on. He was popular and strong, firm about the
direction of his life, it seemed. And he held Craven so tight and didn‟t put him down or make fun
of him for his tears.

Craven clung to him, reminded of the attraction he felt when he was fifteen when he first met

Trevor. His friend put a palm on the back of Craven‟s head and tangled his fingers in his hair.

“She‟s a bitch,” he said softly.
“Yeah,” Craven muttered against his shoulder.
“She might have been your first girl, but that doesn‟t matter.”
Craven lifted his head. “Why wouldn‟t it? Everyone talks about the first time and how it

should be special.” His face warmed. “I guess it‟s the girls who say that, huh? Not the boys?”

“Some do,” Trevor insisted. “But it doesn‟t matter for you, and you know why, don‟t you?”
He knew. He never said it, but everyone took it as an understood, and so did he. He never

pretended like it was any different, but he‟d thought he‟d give being with a girl a try. Life would
be easier, and who knew if it was all just an illusion. Maybe he really did like girls. But the fact
that he‟d had to imagine men to get hard made that a lie.

“Yeah,” he said, not looking up at Trevor.
“How about a different first? A better one.”
“What are you talking about?”
Trevor still had his hands on Craven‟s shoulders. He leaned in closer until their faces were

inches apart. Craven‟s eyebrows went up. His friend paused a second when he was less than an
inch away. Craven had time to move and deny he wanted it. But the truth was he ached for it.
Trevor, the most self-assured man he knew, was offering him his first kiss with another man.

Craven took it. He kept still while Trevor slanted his lips across his. When their mouths

touched, it was explosive. The sensation and taste had Craven‟s mind. They didn‟t use tongues,
but Trevor did part his lips and move his mouth over Craven‟s until Craven moaned.

When he realized he did it, he broke the connection and jerked back. He stared at his balled

fists in his lap. He opened his mouth to beg Trevor to forgive him, and he intended to take all the
blame. But Trevor only said, “Now, remember that instead, and the other thing will be nothing.”

What kind of friend did that, he wondered. But Trevor had done it for him, and he thought of

it every day. He‟d been right too. His first kiss from a man—not just any man, Trevor—had
washed away his humiliation from something that shouldn‟t have happened. He was gay, and that
was just who he was.

They drew apart, and Trevor smiled. “Good?”
Craven smirked. “Yeah, I guess so.”
A key sounded in the lock, and Craven sprung away from Trevor. He put a few feet between

them and glanced back at his friend. Trevor didn‟t look guilty in the least. He swung around
toward Connie just walking into the house. “Hey,” he called.

She didn‟t answer but tossed her keys and purse on a table to the right of the door. She

stopped when she saw Craven. “You‟re back.” And then she frowned. “You haven‟t gotten rid of
all those piercings and the makeup?”

He pressed his lips together. She‟d already started and didn‟t even say hello. “It‟s eye liner.

Don‟t have a cow. And if I take out the jewelry, the holes might close.” He didn‟t bother telling
her he would remove most of it anyway when he got ready for a regular job.

Connie‟s angry words about him not calling for so long and then contacting Trevor instead of

her buffeted him like a storm. He stood still waiting for it to end, but then Trevor moved. Craven
hadn‟t seen him coming. Just all of a sudden his wide shoulders blocked Connie‟s small frame
from his view.

“Cut it, Connie,” Trevor said in a low, even tone. “He‟s just home. Don‟t you want to hug and

kiss him?”

“You always—” she began.
“I said let it go,” he snapped.
Craven and Connie both caught their breath. Nothing much made Trevor lose his cool. When

Connie clicked her teeth together to cut off her words, Trevor stepped aside. Connie walked over
to Craven, embraced him, and kissed his cheek.

“Welcome back, little brother.”
“Hardly little.” The top of her head didn‟t quite touch his chin.
“How long you staying?” she asked.
“Indefinitely.”
Before she could ask more questions, Trevor nudged his arm. “Come on. I‟ll show you your

room, and if you hurry and unpack, we‟ll have enough time to do some shopping. You need
something for the off...” His voice trailed off, and he stopped in the hall with Craven behind him.
“Wait, where‟s your guitar?”

Craven flinched and shifted past him in the narrow hall. “I sold it.”
Trevor showed him the room but said no more, and neither did Craven. He‟d loved his guitar,

and Trevor better than anyone knew it too. Craven had done a series of odd jobs to be able to
afford it when he was younger. The instrument had been his prized possession.

Craven dumped his bag on the bed. The room was a good size with decent furniture. A few

pictures hung on the walls, and he was glad none of them were of him or anything that would
remind him of music. The colors were all muted browns, tans, and burnt orange. The feeling was
comfortable as he liked it. Trevor had mentioned his room was next door, and Connie‟s was at the
opposite side of the floor. What would it feel like to have Trevor so close? Could he stand it if he
brought a woman home and he could hear them having sex though the walls? He didn‟t think he
could.

“Mind if I take a shower first?” he asked Trevor.
His friend stood in the doorway watching him, and Craven raised a brow. Trevor snapped out

of whatever he‟d been thinking about. “Yeah, go ahead. I have a couple chores before we head
out anyway.”

When Craven was showered and changed, he spent the rest of the morning with Trevor

buying the things he‟d need for the office. After a brief battle of wills where he convinced Trevor
to let him spend the money the man had already given him for the clothes he bought, they
returned home. Trevor went to work, and Craven crashed in his bedroom. Tomorrow or whatever
day Trevor called him to go into his workplace was soon enough. Welcome to my new life.

Chapter Two

Craven offered a tight smile to the woman passing the copy room. Her gaze lingered on him

as she slowed down, and then it wandered lower until she reached his crotch. He felt his face
warming and knew it was red. If he hadn‟t already screwed up, he could be out of this small room
and back to the spot he‟d been assigned.

“Need any help?” she offered.
“No!” he exploded and then cleared his throat. “Uh, no, thanks.”
When he said nothing more, she sighed and left the room. That‟s how it had been all day at

his new job as floating admin. He couldn‟t complain. He had no set duties, and he didn‟t have to
be tied down to a desk. But then he had to make copies in this little box of a room.

He moved his hand and uncovered his mistake. Somehow when he‟d been looking out for

Trevor who‟d passed by earlier, he‟d stapled his shirt cuff to a pile of papers. If Trevor found out,
he‟d think he was an idiot.

Craven picked at the staple to try to get his nails under it. Unfortunately, he‟d clipped them

down so short, he didn‟t have any to use. If he ripped the thing apart, he worried he‟d damage his
shirt, and then Trevor would think he was ungrateful for buying it in the first place.

The more he struggled, the more frustrated he became. And why the hell was it so quiet here?

He was used to blasting music and people shouting to be heard over it. A few here and there
called across low-walled cubicles and played radios turned down low, but it was not the same.

I just have to get used to it. I should be glad Trevor helped me.
“Love the earrings,” a male voice said behind him. “I meant to say so before.”
Craven looked over his shoulder and found one of the workers he‟d met earlier. He couldn‟t

remember his name.

“Thanks,” Craven muttered.
The man who appeared to be a hundred and fifty pounds, if that, strolled over to his side. He

reached past Craven‟s hands to an odd tool sitting nearby. He picked it up and held it in front of
Craven. “If you use this, you can get the staple out easy.”

Craven frowned. He stared at the little device and could guess how it worked, but he‟d never

seen one before. Probably everyone here had and used it all the time.

“I‟d forgotten about that,” he lied.
He nipped it out of the man‟s hand without allowing their fingers to touch. His hope that the

guy would leave was dashed when he leaned back against the table, too close to Craven. “I don‟t
know if you remember my name, but it‟s—”

“George.” Trevor appeared in the doorway. “For some reason, I didn‟t get that report you

emailed me. Can you send it again, please? Now.”

The man beside Craven hesitated for another second, but who could resist Trevor‟s friendly

smile. George pushed off the table. “Of course. You‟ll get it in a sec.” He disappeared, and
Craven sighed in relief.

“How‟s it going?” Trevor asked from beside him.
“Fine.” Craven didn‟t look up.
Trevor took the device from him and braced Craven‟s hand against his stomach while he

worked the staple loose. Even with the stack of papers and Trevor‟s shirt between his fingertips
and Trevor‟s bare skin, he felt the placement was intimate. Moisture broke out on his forehead,
and he willed himself not to get a hard-on this close to Trevor. There would be no hiding it with
them face-to-face.

He watched Trevor work to distract himself and then focused on his own hands. He‟d looked

smart, he thought, in the dress slacks and long-sleeved collared shirt. Trevor had even bought him
dress shoes. But even with all of that he couldn‟t remove the tats down his fingers, symbols with
meanings only he knew. One of them, on the middle finger of his right hand, meant “your kiss,”
but no one else could read it. The tat referred to his first kiss with Trevor.

“You probably think I‟m an idiot,” he said.
“No, I think you‟ve never worked in an office before. Go easy on yourself. This is your first

day.”

Craven glanced up at Trevor and saw the sincerity. “Okay, if I don‟t maim myself before the

end of the week, I might make it.”

Trevor chuckled. “That‟s the spirit.” He got the staple out and tossed the papers on the table

then smoothed Craven‟s sleeve. His fingers brushed Craven‟s palm and sent shivers alone his
spine. Trevor let go too soon. “I thought I‟d stop by to see if you want to have lunch with me.”

Craven smiled. “Yeah, sure.”
They found a deli not far from the office, and Craven followed Trevor‟s lead by ordering a

pastrami on rye with chips and an extra large half and half. They sat down at a table by the
window overlooking the courtyard between several buildings.

Trevor took a huge bite of his sandwich and pulled on his drink through the straw. “Good,

how‟s yours?”

“Good,” Craven said. He was about to say something else when a woman called out to Trevor

from across the room. Craven turned. She waved at him, and then two more joined her. They paid
for their food and picked up their trays to head in Trevor and Craven‟s direction. Craven groaned
inwardly. He looked at Trevor, but his expression was nothing but friendly. Did he even mind that
they couldn‟t be alone? Probably not. He didn‟t feel like Craven did.

A woman hopped into the seat next to Craven like it was the hot spot. She rested an arm on

the table and leaned her chest against it. The move made her breasts swell like they were about to
break free. Craven swallowed a feeling of disgust and hoped it hadn‟t registered on his face.

“Hi, Craven,” she cooed. This was another one whose name he didn‟t know.
He nodded in greeting.
She giggled. “I like him. He never says much.”
“Yeah the strong silent type,” the woman sitting next to Trevor said.
“So mysterious,” the third chipped in.
Trevor‟s eyes held amusement. “Craven‟s the hottest new thing in the office, huh, ladies? Hm,

is it the stark blond hair you think?”

“That and the hard body,” one of them blurted and then reddened with a hand slapped over

her mouth. Craven felt his face warming too, and Trevor laughed.

“Thanks,” he murmured and cast silent plea at Trevor.
His friend wiped his mouth and pushed his chair back. “Well, we have to get going, ladies.

Plenty of work to do before the day ends.”

“Aww,” they said in unison pouting, but none were looking at Trevor. “You can stay, right,

Craven?”

“Afraid not,” Trevor answered before he could. “I have some tasks I need his assistance with.

After all, that‟s what we hired him for. You surely don‟t want to get him fired for staying out too
long at lunch on his first day?”

None of them had seen the two of them leave the office if Craven wasn‟t mistaken, so they

didn‟t know that he and Trevor were leaving with plenty of time. Amid more protests, they left
the women to their lunch and strolled around the parameter of the courtyard.

“Thanks,” Craven told Trevor. “I felt like a piece of meat.”
“You must be used to it. I‟m sure you had groupies when you were doing your music?”
He nodded. “I did, but that was different. I could get on stage and perform. It separated me

from them. I loved it, and I enjoyed giving others pleasure through my music. But…”

“You‟re not really a people person.”
“I guess I‟m not.” He tugged at his collared shirt. There was no give like a tee. That was

another thing he‟d have to adjust to. “I‟m a contradiction. I love to be up on stage but don‟t feel
comfortable when they‟re fawning over me.”

Trevor had one hand in his pocket as he strolled along. He tapped Craven with the back of his

hand on the chest. “Don‟t worry about it, buddy. Eventually those women will figure it out, and
then they‟ll look at you for what they call „eye candy‟ and nothing more.”

“Is that how it went with you?” Craven asked before he thought about how that sounded.
Trevor smirked. “Are you saying I‟m sexy?”
Craven‟s eyes widened. “I-I…”
“I‟m joking.” Trevor laughed. “But yes, to answer your question. That‟s what happened to

me.” He shrugged. “It‟s all light fun with the flirting. I make it plain without hurting their feelings
that I don‟t date anyone from the office. They try to change my mind. We get back to business.”

Craven noticed they hadn‟t taken the route back to the office. They‟d continued down the

block a couple streets to kill more time.

“What about George?”

Trevor tapped his fingers against one leg as if he was feeling testy. “I‟d noticed he had sniffed

you out. I can talk to him…”

“No.” Craven held up his hands. “I just thought you had advice for dealing with him in the

office.”

“What did you do at the club in a situation like this?”
Craven was silent and didn‟t meet Trevor‟s gaze.
“Don‟t tell me you‟ve never met the man you‟re not attracted to?”
Craven‟s eyes widened. “What am I a gigolo?”
They laughed together, and then Craven grew serious. “I was always on the move. I couldn‟t

slow down. Some have bought me drinks between breaks. It doesn‟t matter if I‟m interested or
not in that case. One-on-one, a little time with the lead singer in the band is an experience. After
the show, I slipped out the back.”

He saw clearly in Trevor‟s eyes that he wanted to ask what Craven did differently when he

was into the man. He couldn‟t tell him every incident ended the same. L.A. had been lonely when
the one he wanted was hundreds of miles away. He decided not to satisfy Trevor‟s curiosity
because he definitely didn‟t want details of Trevor‟s sexual exploits with women.

They returned to work, and as Trevor walked toward his office, he called over his shoulder,

“Come with me. I really do have some things you can help me with.”

Craven followed. His heart beat kicked into high gear. Trevor‟s office was wholly private

with a solid wooden door and just a sliver of a glass panel at one side. The glass was frosted, so
no one could see much more than a blurred distorted shadow beyond. Not that he expected Trevor
to do anything in there with him, but the thought of being in close quarters had his cock
tightening. While he walked, he scanned the area around them and then tugged at his slacks. Jeans
were more binding when he expanded. The thin material he wore was roomier, but he felt like
anyone could see when he was excited.

“Come in,” Trevor said. “See that pile there?”
Craven blinked at the two foot stack of folders and papers. “That?”
“Yeah, we‟re going through them, and once you‟re clear on my filing system, then I can leave

you to it.”

Craven ran fingers through his short cropped hair. “Okay, sure.” He followed Trevor over to

the papers and stopped.

Trevor gestured. “Come here. Let me show you. These are where I file everything. Current

accounts, ones in review, and dead. I keep those in here for say about six months, and then fill out
a form for them to be boxed up and transferred downstairs. You getting that so far?”

“Got it,” Craven said, but he didn‟t. Not because the information was complicated but because

when Trevor called him closer, he‟d also stepped nearer to Craven. The space between them was
too little to be anything but intimate. Craven had snatched up a folder pretending to examine it
because his fucking cock had made a noticeable tent in his pants. Irritation and nerves made
moisture form on his top lip and across his forehead.

Trevor droned on about the files. Didn‟t he feel anything? Did he have no sense of personal

space? Craven tried remembering if Trevor stood this close to others, but all he could recall was
how the women who were attracted to him normally scooted up close. He didn‟t have to move
closer in that instance. Craven sighed, and Trevor looked up at him.

“I‟m sorry. I know this is tedious and boring.” He smiled, making Craven want to touch his

face. “Tell you what. When I finish with a bit of work I have to do, I‟ll help you clear this mess
out, and then I‟ll find something you might like better.”

Craven rushed to reassure his friend he was grateful. “No, it‟s fine. I am just glad to be here

and that you helped me. It‟s nice working together, isn‟t it? Been a long time.” He let his lame
words trail off and glanced away.

Trevor dropped a hand on his shoulder. “It is nice.”

Craven couldn‟t believe how screwed up his mind was when it came to Trevor. He might

have said it was nice, but he was thinking it might be a mistake. At the rate he was going, he‟d
never advance because he couldn‟t keep his head in the game.

“You think you understand?” Trevor asked, “or should I go over it again?”
“No, I got it,” Craven lied. He hoped to pick up the procedure by looking at the folders

already in the file cabinets.

Trevor accepted his assurance that he knew what he was doing and then turned to walk away

at the same time Craven spun to check the file cabinets. They crashed hard into each other from
chest to thighs. If Craven had hoped Trevor didn‟t notice the swell between his legs, the cat was
good and truly out of the bag with his crotch welded to Trevor‟s. When they bumped, Trevor‟s
hands came up automatically to Craven‟s hips, but Craven being as big as Trevor was in no
danger of falling.

“Are you okay?” Trevor said, and Craven jumped out of his arms and away from him. He‟d

heard a note in his friend‟s voice that could only be disgust.

“I‟m fine. Sorry I didn‟t expect you to move that way.”
Trevor put a hand up to clear his throat. “No harm done.”
His friend moved over to his desk, and Craven sank to a chair that had been placed near the

cabinets. His back was to the door, but he heard their coworkers coming back into the area from
lunch and meetings. He blew out a breath. Trevor had moved away just in time. Who knew what
they‟d all think if they returned seconds earlier and found the two of them in each other‟s arms.

The voices outside the office grew louder. Craven found it hard to concentrate, and then

Trevor‟s phone rang. His tone went from casual to serious when he identified the caller. At the
sound of Trevor‟s snapping, Craven turned around.

“Yes, sir, I have that information right here,” Trevor said as he tilted his head to hold the

receiver to one ear and searched through several folders in front of him. He snapped again and
pointed to the door. Craven went over to it and looked at his friend. Trevor smiled gratefully as
Craven closed it, shutting them alone together. Convinced he‟d get nowhere with his filing, he
returned to his chair to spend the next few hours pouring over page after page.

At four, Trevor glanced up from his spot beside Craven. “I‟m bushed. What do you say we

knock of for the day?”

“Yes,” Craven said too eagerly, and Trevor laughed.
“I know it‟s boring, but that‟s all a part of office work. Some of it is challenging like closing

deals, and other parts are like this. As long as the higher ups won‟t spring for an actual assistant
for each of the management team in this unit, we have to share you.”

The words had a double meaning, but Craven was sure the look of distaste on Trevor‟s

handsome face had nothing to do with wanting him to himself on a personal level. At least the
day was over. Craven felt like he couldn‟t take another second of Trevor‟s thighs so close to his
and remembering how it felt to be smashed against the other man. He needed to get home and
unwind, maybe find a club to go to and unwind. Escape was all he could think of.

They drove home together with Craven tugging at his shirt collar the entire time. He couldn‟t

wait to yank off every stitch of clothing, shower, and change into something comfortable.
Relieved that Trevor spent the whole ride conducting more business on his cell phone, Craven
was able to turn the radio on low and listen while his thoughts were a million miles away.

At home, he unbuttoned his shirt while he walked down the hall. By the time he hit his room,

he had his pants open. The shower restored just a little of his equilibrium. He stood in front of the
mirror over his dresser and considered his face. On impulse, he started replacing the jewelry he‟d
taken off for his job and then did his eye liner. Afterward, he pulled on jeans that had a rip in the
front of one thigh, exposing his pale skin. He matched that with a T-shirt that said “I heart
zombies.” The heart was the actual organ with blood pooling at the bottom of it.

When he went out to the living room, he saw that Trevor hadn‟t changed yet. He‟d loosened

his shirt so that it hung open. A good bit of his chest was exposed. He sat in front of the TV with
remote in hand and a bowl of dry cereal. Trevor wasn‟t a fan of milk, Craven remembered.

Just seeing his friend sitting there made him remember his sexual frustration all over again,

and the stress relief that had come from showering and changing dissipated like dew in the heat of
the sun. Craven ran a hand over his eyes.

“Craven.” He started at his sister‟s shout but didn‟t allow it to show outwardly.
“What?” He tucked his hands into his jean pockets and pivoted to face her. She strolled from

the direction of her bedroom. She too was in casual dress wearing a miniskirt and a simple top.

“I‟m glad you‟re here. I wanted to talk to you.”
Craven cringed and just kept himself from rolling his eyes skyward. “What about?” he said

although he could guess.

“Your future.” Connie drew up before him and waited as if that was his cue to bless her for

her interest. “What are you going to do, Craven? You‟ve quit music. I wasn‟t a fan of going off to
L.A. on the off chance that one of the clubs there rather than here would have the one person who
needed to hear you for you to make it big.”

Under normal circumstances, he allowed Connie to go on and on. He‟d discovered that it was

better not to argue or the discussion would go on for hours. But tonight he wasn‟t in the mood to
remain silent. “You were never a fan at all, were you?”

She paused in her speech for a moment and studied his face. He knew she was trying to

decide if his statement required her to change tactics. Connie had a whole strategy guide for how
she dealt with him. “If Mom and Dad were here, they would back me up in this…”

The parent guilt.
“…so I‟ve decided you need to go back to college. It‟s never too late and—”
“College isn‟t for me,” he said simply.
“How would you know? You were there for like a month.”
He shrugged. “It was enough.”
The smooth pale skin on her face became blotchy with red in her anger. “You can‟t just sit

down here with that dead end job. Yeah, Trevor told me about the position he got you. Please,
you have no qualifications. I can see someone who‟s been in the field using it to gain a permanent
foot, but you—”

His patience snapped. “I what? I‟ll never be anything? You‟re always coming down on me,

Connie, like I‟m nothing.”

She gasped. “That‟s not true.” When Trevor stood up from the couch and came toward them,

she looked to him for support. “Tell him, Trevor, I care about him. I don‟t come down on him.”

“I think you should give him a chance to find his way, Connie. He just got back.”
She frowned. “You would take his side.”
Craven clenched his jaw. Connie had bullied him most of his life, but he‟d be damned if she

was going to pick at Trevor. “Why the hell are you here anyway?” he growled.

Both Trevor and Connie stared at him, and his sister fell silent.
“Well?” he demanded when she didn‟t say anything. “If you two aren‟t seeing each other,

why are you living here, Connie?”

“I-I-I…” she stuttered.
He wasn‟t letting her off the hook. There was something to her living here and the fact that

she was in school full time. Connie‟d had a senior manager‟s position at a large corporation when
he left town. She‟d been on her way up the corporate ladder as she‟d been too fond of reminding
him.

Trevor leaned on the back of the couch and folded his arms across his chest. Craven shifted

his eyes away from his friend because he liked too much what he saw, and Connie might pick up
on it.

“Tell him,” Trevor said.
She raised her chin, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. “I was fired, okay? I was sleeping with

one of the bosses. Someone found out and informed his wife. She came to the office, and well,
you can imagine what happened next. He gets to keep his position, while I get the shaft. And
since then, it‟s been hard to find something. I ended up letting my condo go and for a little while
moving in here. Trevor was nice enough to let me stay, and I don‟t know what I would have done
without his help. There, you know the whole sordid story.”

Craven‟s gaze shifted from his sister to his friend, and back again. He tapped fingers on the

side of his thigh while he watched her. Even with all she admitted to, she was embarrassed but her
pride made her defiant. Connie kept the same attitude that had driven him away from home, and
he‟d bet if he pointed it out now, she would still deny it as she‟d done every other time.

He could have said a lot of things as he stood there knowing her secret shame, but he said

simply, “From now on, you keep your opinions about what I should or shouldn‟t do to youself.”

“Craven.”
He gave her a hard look, and she fell silent. He moved around her and headed out the front

door. The farther away from that house he could get, the better.

Chapter Three

Craven entered the club he‟d frequented before he left town. The place had changed hands a

couple times in the short few years he‟d been gone. He couldn‟t believe how it had gone
downhill. At least they were trying to pump life into the place with a live band. The music could
be better.

He‟d spent the last few hours killing time in a tamer place and then come here when he

figured it was late enough. He checked his watch. Ten p.m. should have seen more of a crowd
than this. After weaving through the bodies on the dance floor, he headed for the area where there
were a few tables and found one near the front. The lights were low and the music loud. Sitting
near enough to the speakers where he could catch every note without bursting an eardrum, he
winced when the lead singer went one way, and his band members went another. Craven looked
around. He guessed the people dancing were doing it because they loved to and wanted to have a
good time, not because they were enjoying the beat.

The song ended at last. “Okay, I‟m going to take a little break, but I‟ll be back in five,” the

lead said into the mic.

Craven hesitated as the man bent to take a sip of something that looked like Coke or Pepsi. He

shook his head. Idiot. He stood up and approached the stage. “Hey,” he called out. Someone in
the sound booth had begun to place music recordings which was a marked improvement to the
performance.

The man turned around and caught sight of Craven. He grinned. “A groupie, cool. Wrong

gender, but I can deal.”

Craven‟s brows crashed low over his eyes. He stuffed his hands into his jean pockets and

rocked back on his heels. Dimly, in the back of his mind, he remembered seeing Trevor often do
the same thing. “I‟m not a groupie. I just know a little bit about music and singing.” He glanced at
the drink. “That‟s a sure-fire way to dehydrate your vocal cords. If anything you should have been
drinking water way before your performance and during it.”

While Craven spoke, the man‟s expression grew darker. After he was finished with do‟s and

don‟ts of drinks, he gave him tips on reaching the notes he‟d missed and signaling to the band
members. Craven didn‟t pay much attention to the snickers he caught from the others on stage as
they caught some if not all of what he said. Only after he‟d gotten done did he realize he sounded
just like Connie—lecturing and taking on a superior attitude because of what he knew.

“I don‟t want to offend you,” he finished lamely. “I think you have a great sound.”
The man sneered. “What does a punk like you know?” His grating glare swept Craven from

head to foot. He knew how he looked with his torn jeans and T-shirt, like an ignorant metal-head.

He wanted to qualify what he‟d just said so the guy wouldn‟t toss it out the window, but

feared how it would be taken. He looked around the stage, and the others were watching him now,
waiting for his answer. “Ten years private tutoring with a retired professor of Julliard.”

It was the truth. His parents had indulged his passion, which made it harder for him to accept

how Connie viewed his music.

“You think you can do it better?” the singer spat. “Fine. Do it. I quit.”
Craven‟s eyes widened. “Wait. I‟m sorry.”
The man blew by him stomping toward the door. Another man intercepted his path, and

Craven stood frozen in shock as they began arguing. The singer nodded toward Craven and
shoved by. The exit door opened and shut. Craven stood where he was as the other man
approached, his face an angry mask.

“Who the f— Wait, I know you,” he said. His expression lightened. “Craven Ward, right?

You used to play here regularly a few years back.”

“How did you know?”
A grin spread over the harsh face, highlighting the crooked nose which looked like it‟d been

broken a few times. “Who could forget? I didn‟t own the place back then. Just a regular who
loved the club. And I remember you had a great voice. I‟m Manny, by the way.”

“Yeah, well I don‟t do that anymore,” Craven assured him, even while his heart ached and he

missed it. Being in this atmosphere brought back all the times he‟d sung here. He‟d been full of
ambition and sure he would be a big star some day.

The man scratched his chin while examining Craven. “Is that right? Well, I figure you owe me

since you ran off my lead singer. You can get up there and finish out his set.”

Craven opened his mouth to protest but then decided Manny was right. If he had kept his

advice to himself, this wouldn‟t have happened. “Just tonight,” he reiterated.

“Yeah, yeah, go!” Manny gave him a light shove in the direction of the stage, and Craven

trudged to it. The stage was just two steps above floor level, and he took them with excitement
building in his gut. Performing was the only time he could let go and be himself.

“I‟m Craven,” he said introducing himself to the band. He had little idea of their skill because

when they were playing, he‟d been fully attentive to the lead singer. “Anybody have a guitar I can
borrow?”

He cringed inwardly realizing how lame he sounded. If a person didn‟t own their own

instrument, how good could they really be? The doubt in their eyes was plain, but the other
guitarist bent to a case at his feet and pulled out a guitar Craven recognized. The instrument was a
Fender Classic Player 50s Stratocaster Maple. He didn‟t prefer the vintage style, but he could
work with it.

The guy introduced himself as Vince, and he plugged Craven in with a raised eyebrow.
“I‟m going to play something of my own,” he told them. “Let me give you a little of where

I‟m going with it, and you can match me. Not real complicated at all. Okay?”

They agreed, and Craven nodded toward the sound booth. The DJ eased out of the song

playing, and Craven took over, first testing the guitar‟s range and then moving into the
instrumentals for his favorite piece Letting You Go. At first he didn‟t focus on the crowd at all. He
didn‟t even hear them. He kept his chin tucked to his chest as he watched his fingers fly over the
strings, and then he shut his eyes a moment feeling the rhythm.

He opened his eyes and caught the gazes of the men on stage with him. Their expressions had

changed to being impressed. They nodded, and he turned toward his audience, moving into the
beginning of the song. When the intro came to a close, he was at the mic and began to sing—soft
at first and then growing louder as the power of his emotions came forward.

Whistles and shouts broke out over the audience but died down right away as if they didn‟t

want to miss a word he sang. After the first few lines, a few couples moved into each other‟s arms
to dance. The pain that always rose in him surfaced now. He dipped his knees a little and crowded
into the mic while watching the audience with narrowed eyes. He used the years of lessons, the
rejection, the hurt, the craving to all come together in a sensual flow that let him tantalize his
audience—male and female.

Several women elbowed their way to the stage. Tears glistened in their eyes. At a particular

spot in the song, he stopped playing the guitar and sang directly to them. They screamed and
reached for him, but bouncers were there in seconds to hold them back. Craven lost interest in
them and let his gaze sweep the crowd, which had thickened since he‟d started singing. When he
spotted Trevor, he didn‟t pause or give any indication of its impacted. While his heart deafened
him more than the music, he kept going.

How he had longed to sing this song to Trevor. Two years, he realized as he thought about it.

This was the one he‟d written in an effort to tell Trevor what he meant to him while he knew he
had to let him go. At the last line, he‟d always infused his voice with extra emotion to win his
audience over even more, but tonight the feeling was raw and never more real. On the last note,
the audience shouted their approval.

With one hand keeping the guitar level, he raised his other arm to their applause. He nodded

to the band and then they went into another song he recognized and knew the lead well. He
performed a few songs by popular artists and then one more of his own before he closed out for
the night.

Craven returned the guitar to Vince and stepped off the stage. He was relieved that the

bouncers controlled the women who were still trying to get to him, and he worked his way
through the rest of the crowd amid slaps on his back and handshakes. The owner corralled him
and dragged him to a corner. “Come to my office,” he demanded. “We have lots to talk about.”

“No, we don‟t,” Craven sold him low but firmly. “I made up for running off your guy tonight,

but I‟m sure you can talk him into coming back.”

“Who wants him?” The manager waved his arm over the crowd. “Did you see the reaction

you got? Instant groupies. I don‟t know if I‟ve ever seen anything like it. You seduced them. I
want you not that idiot who stormed out of here. You‟re what this place has been needing to put it
back on the map.”

Throughout the spiel, Craven listened, but he‟d been scanning the crowd for another glimpse

of Trevor. “I‟m not in the business anymore. I made a mistake with your man, and I made up for
it. I‟m sorry.”

A hand dropped down on Craven‟s shoulder, and he turned to find Trevor behind him. The

pleasure at seeing his friend was overwhelming, but he hid it the best he could. Trevor‟s kind
gaze lingered on his face a second before moving to the manager. “Trevor Scott. Good to meet
you.”

The manager took his offered hand and shook it. “Barry Stevens.”
“So you‟re new management?” Trevor looked around. “This place brings back memories. It‟s

been a while. Do you have somewhere quieter we can talk?”

Craven looked at Trevor and frowned. What could he be up to? He said nothing though as

Barry led them to his office in the back and shut the door. The blaring music was lessoned only
enough so they didn‟t have to shout.

“Yeah, I bought this place with big dreams,” Barry admitted as he dropped into his chair

behind the desk. “I used to work as a bartender for a competitor. I thought I knew what it took to
run a club. I guess not, because this place is getting nowhere. Maybe there‟s too much
competition nowadays.”

“It‟s because you don‟t have good music,” Trevor told him bluntly.

Craven cringed. He‟d placed his elbows on the arms of his chair and steepled his fingers to

rest his lips against them. Earlier tonight he‟d wanted to escape the house and Connie. He‟d
especially wanted to get away for a while from his feelings for Trevor, but now here he was,
tempting him. Trevor‟s deep voice as he conversed with Barry rumbled over Craven‟s senses. He
recalled every word he‟d sung about the one he loved not seeing him because he was in the clouds
while Craven was stuck on the ground.

He wondered what Trevor had thought of the song. Maybe he considered it to be too sappy or

too metaphorical. Craven grunted in his frustration, and Trevor turned to him. “Just two nights,
Craven. You don‟t have to give up your music.”

Craven blinked. He hadn‟t been listening. “What?”
Trevor bumped his leg with his thigh to capture Craven‟s attention, but he managed to do

much more than that. Craven dropped his hands into his lap.

“I was telling Barry that the music is in you, and I‟d hate to see you walk away on a

permanent basis,” Trevor explained. “You can still enjoy your music while working at the office
if that‟s what you want.”

Barry leaned forward across the desk. “Three performances a week,” he urged.
“One,” Craven said.
“Two,” Trevor chipped in.
Craven looked at him. “Trev, you‟ve always supported me in my music.” He felt his face

growing red. The knowing expression on Barry‟s face made him shift in his chair. He hoped his
desire for his friend was not that obvious to Trevor.

“That‟s what I‟m here for,” Trevor told him. “I know you feel it‟s time to do the „responsible

thing,‟ but I think you‟re selling yourself short.” His tone dropped low. “Especially after that first
song tonight.”

Craven‟s senses perked up a little, but he kept his eyes cast low to the scuffed desktop.
“The ladies were going wild,” Trevor teased.
“Yeah, yeah,” Barry added. “He has the bad boy look the women go for. That will bring them

in.”

“It will.” Trevor‟s teasing stare turned serious. “Let‟s talk money.”
Craven almost felt sorry for Barry as Trevor raked him over the coals and squeezed every last

ounce of extra money for entertainment he had in him. He‟d known Trevor was good with
business but had no idea how ruthless he could be. He stood up and straightened his suit jacket to
stroll over to the window behind Barry. The power shifted from Barry as club owner to Trevor.
Craven hadn‟t hired Trevor to be his manager, but hell he was doing a great job. Craven was
comfortable watching Trevor work.

“You saw what happened out there tonight,” Trevor said. “Do you know the number of people

passing to go to the club next door who came here instead just hearing Craven sing?”

Barry sputtered. “Yeah, but he‟s not known. I only recognize him because I was here six years

ago. I—”

“He‟ll up your numbers in one weekend,” Trevor claimed. “You‟ll likely bring in thousands

more.”

“Let‟s not get carried away.”
Trevor leaned negligently against the wall one hand in his pocket. “Barry, my friend, you

don‟t want Craven to walk out of here tonight. I‟m going to make you a hard deal.”

The outrage on Barry‟s face brought a chuckle to Craven, but he swallowed it down in case he

blew what Trevor was trying to do. Barry glared at Trevor and then turned to Craven. “He
introduced himself as your friend not your manager. I don‟t know you, but I‟m guessing you‟re
man enough to speak on your own behalf. You don‟t need him blowing this good thing I‟m
offering you.”

Craven opened his mouth to answer, but Trevor stepped between them, blocking Craven‟s

view of Barry. He stood up and moved around his friend. He‟d never seen Trevor so angry, but he
could understand it if Barry was hinting the way he thought he was.

“I‟m sure you didn‟t mean your last statement the way it sounded,” Trevor said. His voice was

ice cold, so hard that Craven shivered and it wasn‟t directed toward him. Barry cleared his throat.
He too stood up, probably to keep from feeling like a mouse under Trevor‟s glare.

“Of course not!” he sputtered. “To each his own. I simply meant that Craven could handle

things for himself.”

“But I‟m doing it. You have a problem with that?” Trevor glanced in his direction. “Do you,

Craven?”

“No, I don‟t.” He shifted his attention to Barry. “I trust Trevor with everything.”
Barry sighed. “Well, I have to admit I‟ve never seen a couple so in synch with how they

handle things—each knowing their strengths. Okay, fine, you win.”

Craven started to correct him and let him know he and Trevor were not a couple no matter

how much he wished it, but Trevor interrupted. “Great. So here‟s my proposition…”

After Trevor had beaten him down until the man looked spent, he held his hand out to Barry.

The club owner took it looking frazzled. Craven shook his hand as well and thanked him in a low
voice.

“I‟ll have the paperwork drawn up by Thursday,” Barry said. “You can start Friday if that‟s

fine? Also, I‟d prefer if you kind of give the impression of…” He swallowed and shifted a wary
glance to Trevor. “Of being available when you‟re performing.”

Craven smiled. “No problem.”
Trevor slapped him on the back. “Come on, Craven. In celebration, we‟ll go grab a drink

together. How‟s that?”

“Sounds good.”
They left Barry behind with his assumptions and Craven excited about the prospects of what

Trevor had gotten the man to agree to. He‟d never considered settling in one club but had instead
toured from one to another in an effort to gain a bigger fan base and get discovered by someone
that mattered. The way that Trevor had Barry and him looking at it, his career could have a whole
different focus. But most of it depended on how well he did over the next few weeks and months.
A lot was riding on him, but if there was nothing else he was confident about in his life, he was
sure of his music.

Rather than have a drink at the bar, Trevor led him to the exit, and they walked the block to

his car then drove to another place Trevor knew of. The place was a bar and restaurant, and they
ordered beers at the bar before finding a table. The music here was less volatile than at the club,
and while it wasn‟t exactly quiet, they didn‟t need to shout to be heard either.

“How did you find me?” Craven asked.
Trevor grinned and took a swig of his beer. Craven was glad to see he was no longer angry,

but it had made him feel good to have Trevor defending him—for that matter negotiating on his
behalf.

“Wasn‟t hard,” Trevor admitted. “You were always there, back when it was more popular. It‟s

changed hands a couple times while you were gone, so you wouldn‟t have known the place had
gone down. Not for long though.”

Craven fiddled with the edge of a napkin and kept his eyes low. “You believe that much in my

music?”

“I believe that much in you.”
Craven shifted in his chair. “You said things like that, and I…”
“You what?”
“Nothing.” Craven sucked in a breath and looked up. “Don‟t you think it was a little

ambitious telling him if I pack out the place for six months, we talk partnership? Like he said

there‟s a lot of competition. Clubs in this area are a dime a dozen. And even if the people do like
my voice, it will get old.”

“That‟s why you are also arranging the talent and getting final say on who performs there and

who doesn‟t. The DJ doesn‟t get to sneeze without your say so. Craven, you‟re brilliant with what
you do. That‟s why I support you and why your parents did. Hell, even Connie knows.”

Craven gritted his teeth, remembering their argument from earlier. “Don‟t mention her.”
“Okay, we won‟t. This is a night of celebration.” Trevor drank his beer, and then his eyes

widened and he set the bottle down too heavy. “Fuck.”

“What‟s wrong?” Craven‟s hold on his own beer clenched tight. Trevor had never cared about

ignorant people‟s wrong assessments of him. He simply lived his life. Was he now bothered by
Barry‟s assumptions that they were a couple? Craven had to admit if only to himself that he liked
thinking of them that way.

“I highhanded you,” Trevor said. “You didn‟t want to do this. You said only one night, which

showed you weren‟t that interested, and I just barreled along making it bigger and bigger. I was
the one who helped you get the job at my office, and then I railroaded you into working at the
club. I‟m an idiot. I‟m sorry.”

Craven smiled. “You know me better than anyone. Let‟s face it. I was never going to be any

good working at your office.” I could never bear working that close every day and not touch. “I
wanted this. I would have stopped you if I didn‟t. And you did ask me before you went forward
with it. I‟m grateful. I owe you.”

“You don‟t owe me anything.”
“So what‟s to stop Barry from just enjoying the success and insisting everything stays like it

is in six months?”

“For one, the contract,” Trevor told him. “Remember he‟s having it drawn up for us to see on

Thursday, and I‟ll have my lawyer look it over. For another, he‟s had a year and a half to figure
out what works and what doesn‟t for that place. If you walk, it‟s going back to the way it is now,
and he knows it. He‟s not going to screw you over—not without dealing with me.”

Craven sat back in his chair and pushed a hand through his hair. He drew in a deep breath and

glanced around the restaurant. A man at a table on the other side of the room lifted a glass to him,
a brow quirked in question. What the hell, did he think they would have a threesome? Craven
glanced pointedly at Trevor and noted the guy‟s disappointment. He turned back to his friend.

“I‟m thinking of getting a room to rent somewhere,” he announced.
“No!” Trevor all but shouted, and then he calmed down. “Why would you do that? Why not

wait until you have sufficient savings and you‟re comfortable in how things are going at the
club?”

Craven didn‟t want to bring it up, but he couldn‟t avoid it now. “You saw how it was earlier. I

can‟t live with her. I love Connie, but she drives me crazy, and I guess I drive her there as well. I
was shocked at what she told me, and it puts my successful, stable big sis in a new light, but I
don‟t think it‟s going to change her attitude.”

Trevor chuckled. “It hasn‟t so far… Craven, I don‟t want you to go.”
Craven gasped. The earnestness in his friend‟s tone couldn‟t be ignored. Everything Trevor

said to him and did for him over the years replayed in his mind a thousand times, but they never
talked about why he went so far. Craven was young at eighteen and somewhat sheltered, but he‟d
been out in the world a little now. No straight man kissed another just to make his first experience
in sex a little better.

“Why did you kiss me?” he blurted out before he lost his nerve.
They stared at each other in silence. Trevor‟s Adam‟s apple bobbed in his neck, and Craven

was mesmerized by it.

“It‟s simple,” Trevor said in all seriousness, “I wanted to get into your pants then, and I want

to now.”

Chapter Four

Craven sat there with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. He didn‟t know what to say

or how to react. Perhaps he‟d heard wrong, and yet his heart hoped he hadn‟t. Calm down,
Craven. Think before you open your mouth. Trevor hadn‟t said he loved him or wanted a
relationship. He said he wanted to get into his pants. Just thinking the words made Craven‟s cock
harden. He shifted in his seat and took some time to pull himself together.

“You wanted…” He couldn‟t repeat it again unless he wanted to come right there. “So, you‟re

gay?” he asked with hesitance.

Trevor lowered his gaze and fiddled with his now empty beer bottle. “I guess you‟d call it

going both ways or playing both sides of the fence?”

Disappointment was bitter in Craven‟s mouth. He hadn‟t expected Trevor to say he was gay

or even hoped he‟d said he had been lying to the women he dated all these years. That wouldn‟t
be Trevor. He was upfront and honest with everyone. Trevor didn‟t go out of his way to hurt
others, but he didn‟t pull punches either. The fact that Craven could be any other man Trevor
desired was what got to him. He supposed his friend had even slept with a few. While his greatest
fantasies might have incorporated Trevor making a confession of desire for him, this wasn‟t how
it had gone.

“I don‟t know what to think of that,” he said with honesty. “I never knew. Did Connie?” He

raised his eyes to Trevor, wondering if he was the last to know.

“I never came out and said it, but I think sometimes she wondered.”
Craven frowned. “You used her?”
“No, of course not.” Trevor reached for his hand, but Craven sat back and put his in his lap.

He wasn‟t sure if he could handle Trevor touching him right now—or ever. He‟d feel like a fool if
he revealed how much he loved him. Attraction was one thing and love a whole other one. The
hurt he caught in his friend‟s eyes tore at him. “Our relationship was doomed from the first day I
met you because I wanted you more than her. Or I should say my desire for Connie died the day I
met you.”

Trevor‟s words made him feel special although he could imagine how hurt Connie must have

been. If she still loved Trevor, there was no future for the two of them. Not that he expected
Trevor to offer. He‟d kept his desire for the same sex low key so that even the person closest to
him didn‟t know. That could have been the point, though. Maybe everyone was in on how Trevor
swung except Craven, because of Connie.

“You were fifteen, so young. I wasn‟t too old for you, but I couldn‟t go after you. I was

honest with Connie about not feeling the same about her. I don‟t know. Maybe she wanted to save
face at the time. She wanted us to keep dating for a little while—platonically of course. I wasn‟t
ready to deal with what I felt for you, so I agreed.”

Craven slammed his bottle on the table. Several heads turned in their direction, but he ignored

them. “So even then she was trying to control everything and everyone. Is that why the two of
you picked up where you left off two years ago? Because Connie thought it was best?”

“No.” Trevor sighed. “We didn‟t date two years ago. That‟s when her problem at work

happened. She didn‟t want you to know. I respected her decision, but only because your report
was that things were going good. I didn‟t want you to feel like you had to leave your dream
behind to come home when things were looking up.”

“I guess we all lied.” Craven got up to return to the bar. He ordered two more beers and some

fries. He wasn‟t hungry, but he was in no mood to have a horrible headache in the morning
because he‟d drunk on an empty stomach. When he returned to the table, he handed one of the

beers to Trevor. Their fingers brushed, and desire snaked over his skin. He pulled back as soon as
he could without causing Trevor to drop the bottle.

Trevor grunted. “Now we‟re awkward, and I didn‟t want that to happen.”
“I don‟t either.” Craven had a choice. He could skitter away from Trevor like a coward or be

bold about what he wanted. He‟d started this conversation, and he needed to be man enough to
see it through to the end. But just the thought of admitting to Trevor that he was a virgin set his
teeth on edge. A damn twenty-eight year old virgin except for that one time with that girl. Trevor
had been right. His kiss had paled the previous experience into almost nonexistence. “You wanted
me then, and you still want me?”

Trevor‟s intense stare lit on him and made him hot despite the A/C blowing from a nearby

vent. He leaned back in his chair and thumped his fingers on the edge of the table. Trevor
watched him, from his eyes to his lips on down to his chest. Craven thought if the table wasn‟t in
the way, he‟d be taking in the front of his jeans as well.

“I want you,” he said without embellishment.
Craven clenched his hands into fists. He licked his lips and then drank some beer. “I want this

too, but Connie—”

“Connie decided to stay the night at a friend‟s after your argument.” Trevor grinned. “With a

little persuasion from me.”

Craven‟s brows went up. “You knew we were going to have this conversation?”
“No, but you needed a break, and so did I. After today at work with you so close, I was in a

hell of a mood. We had an argument after you left, and I made my suggestion.” Now he tapped on
the table. “We could go home and see what happens if you want.”

Craven wanted to shout “hell yes,” but what if he did and Trevor found out he‟d never been

with anyone. His friend had accepted his lack of experience years ago, but what about tonight?
They had each asked about their love lives when he arrived. Trevor had assumed he‟d been dating
men exclusively when he asked if Craven had a boyfriend. He wanted to be honest with Trevor,
but he didn‟t want to blow it either.

“Let‟s go,” he said and drained the last of his beer. When he stood up Trevor rose as well, and

they left the restaurant.

The drive home was quiet with Craven‟s stomach tied in knots. He jumped a little when

Trevor reached across the seats to touch his hand. Whatever coolness he thought he was giving
off was blown to bits, but Trevor only smiled. They laced their fingers together, and Craven felt
his cock hardening. Soon he‟d actually be able to touch Trevor.

In the darkness of the car, he glanced over at him and took in the curve of his lips. The bottom

one was thicker, and Craven imagined kissing him. Would Trevor taste good? The way women
came onto him so often, he didn‟t doubt it. The only reason why Trevor didn‟t have a girlfriend
right now was because he didn‟t want one. When they were younger, women had always let it be
known that they were available if he chose to look their way.

Craven wanted to ask him if he‟d ever been with a man, but if he did that, it might open him

up to questions about his sex life. He couldn‟t risk it. Trevor‟s thoughts must have been traveling
the same route, because he said, “I‟ve never been with another man. Like I said, I find them
attractive. I just didn‟t act on it.”

Neither did I.
“I guess I‟m kind of glad I didn‟t. I mean what better way for me to have that first experience

other than with my best friend?”

“Yeah,” Craven muttered.
Trevor‟s thumb stroked his hand, and chills raced up Craven‟s spine.
“You might find that fantasy is better than real life.” Craven was talking more about himself,

but he still wondered what Trevor thought.

“Maybe, but I doubt it. Remember our kiss?”

“Of course.”
Craven had thought he‟d kept any emotion from his voice, but he guessed not when Trevor

looked away from the road a second to smile at him.

“It was good. No, it was very good. I wanted to stick my tongue in your mouth and keep

tasting you. That night I had such a hard-on I had to take a cold shower. Even afterward, I jerked
off in bed thinking about you.”

“Me.”
“Yeah you.”
“I‟m a little different than I was then.”
“You mean the tattoos and piercings? They make you hotter.” Trevor‟s gaze flicked to his

crotch. “Do you have them everywhere?”

Craven gave a slow grin. “You‟ll have to find out.”
He didn‟t know where the boldness came from, but he took Trevor‟s hand and placed it on his

cock. Right away, his friend began to stroke him, kneading his cock and tracing its length through
his jeans.

“Ah, yes,” Trevor moaned as if it was him who was being touched. “You‟re so hard. And

thick. I‟ve dreamed of sucking you. Tell me you‟ve wanted me too, Craven. Tell me you wanted
to get your cock in my mouth.”

“I‟ve wanted you a long time too,” Craven admitted. “I couldn‟t help it when you were always

touching me and hugging me. I‟m gay, damn it. You have a nice body, and I couldn‟t help
looking.”

The pleasure in Trevor‟s expression told him he wasn‟t offended. He pulled up to a red light

and threw the car into park. “I can‟t wait until we get home. Give me a kiss to tide me over.”

Craven unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned in close to Trevor. His friend grabbed for him

roughly and crushed Craven against his chest. Craven expected him to attack his mouth, but
Trevor gentled right away and stuck out the tip of his tongue to flick it on the ring in Craven‟s
bottom lip.

“I don‟t know why that‟s hot,” Trevor whispered, “but it is.” He laved his tongue over the

spot again and then pushed into Craven‟s mouth. Pleasure exploded across Craven‟s entire body.
With Trevor‟s lips closed over his and his tongue buried between them, he felt invaded—in a
good way. He felt like he‟d surrendered himself, and it was the biggest turn-on he‟d ever
experienced.

One of Trevor‟s hands moved up from his back into his hair, and he tugged just a little to get

Craven to tilt his head back. Craven sank a little into Trevor‟s hard body, giving into him even
more. He wasn‟t smaller than Trevor, but his friend was more dominant, and he liked it.

Trevor kissed him with desperate hunger. He ran his tongue across the ball in Trevor‟s

tongue, and then he drew back. In the dim lighting of the car, his eyes glittered. “I wonder how
that would feel licking my cock.”

Craven shivered in his arms. “I-I don‟t know.” He could have bitten off his tongue for

admitting it. If he was so experienced, he‟d have done it countless times.

But Trevor only seemed more excited. “Let‟s find out.”
He sped the rest of the way home and pulled into the garage. When they entered the house,

Craven listened for any sign his sister had come back, but the house was quiet. Trevor instructed
him  to  go  clean  up  and  meet  him  in  his  room.  Craven  showered,  brushed  his  teeth,  and  then
gargled  with  mouthwash.  He  stood  naked  in  front  of  his  closet  considering  what  to  wear.  They
were going to have sex not go out, so he should just go as he was. But that was too bold, too self-
assured,  which  he  was  far  from  feeling.  While  goose  bumps  prickled  his  cool  skin  and  a  slight
pain squeezed at his stomach, his cock was rock solid. He might be scared shitless, but he wanted
Trevor.

He closed his eyes and leaned on the closet doorjamb. This was about physical pleasure for

Trevor, but for Craven, it was more. Yeah, he wanted the bliss of touching Trevor and being
touched by him, but his heart was involved. Tomorrow, Trevor could reject him and go back to
women as his lovers. That possibility wasn‟t to be taken lightly.

A bang at his door startled him. “Hey, are you ready?”
Craven looked down at himself. He ran a hand over his abs. He‟d had to work hard to get

them ripped, but he‟d done it, and his body on a whole was in good shape. He liked what he saw
in his build size, but that didn‟t mean he could walk out there like he was. “Coming,” he called
and went to the dresser.

He pulled on a pair of boxers and left his room. Trevor was nowhere in sight, so Craven

walked across the hall to where his room was. The door stood open, but he paused a second
before going in. Trevor paced by the window without a stitch of clothing on. Not that he had to
worry about someone seeing in. The blinds were pulled. It was the fact that Trevor didn‟t have the
hang-ups Craven had. His friend hadn‟t been celibate the last ten years.

Craven must have made some sound because Trevor turned to face him and stilled. His hot

gaze roamed over Craven‟s body and lingered for a moment on his torso. “Wow, I didn‟t realize
you‟d gotten so many,” he said, referring to his tats.

Craven put a hand on his stomach and frowned. “I like them.”
“So do I.”
He breathed a sigh of relief.
“Come here.” The command was firm, but Trevor‟s tone was low and gentle. Craven had no

reason to resist him. He rounded the king size bed and stopped on the far side in front of Trevor.
Trevor lifted Craven‟s hands to examine the tats on his fingers. “These mean something, don‟t
they?”

“Yeah.” He didn‟t volunteer to translate.
Trevor flipped his hands over and kissed the palms. Then he raised Craven‟s hands higher

until he was able to take one finger into his mouth, suck on it lightly, and moved to the next.

“What do you feel when I do that?” he asked.
“Like I‟m going to come in my boxers.”
Trevor stepped closer. He kissed Craven‟s lips and allowed their hard chests to brush. “I want

you out of those boxers.”

He didn‟t let Craven slip them off but guided him over to the bed. Craven sat down and

hoisted himself higher. Trevor followed him up like a hungry cat. With his knee planted on the
bed between Craven‟s thighs, Craven didn‟t know how long he would last once they touched.
They‟d done no more than kiss, and he was already close to the edge.

When Craven was flat on his back, Trevor paused and tugged at his boxers. They slipped over

his hips, under his ass, and on down his thighs. Trevor stared at his cock as it popped free. He
licked his lips. After he‟d tossed them aside he lay down on top of Craven, and a shuddering
breath shook him.

Trevor closed his eyes with his face poised above Craven‟s. Craven could do nothing but stare

at his friend. Trevor was so handsome, so male. He turned Craven on just looking at him, and
with his body lining Craven‟s, he couldn‟t believe he‟d gone so long without this.

“No,” Trevor said, breathing heavy as if he struggled to keep a grip on his own rising climax,

“reality is a million times more potent than fantasy.”

He opened his eyes to gaze down at Craven.
“Do you know how hard it was not to push you on that floor and take you? But I couldn‟t do

that after what you‟d been through that night. I had to settle for the kiss, and even that made me
feel like I was going to lose it. I couldn‟t come up with a plausible explanation as to why I was
willing to kiss you.”

“You didn‟t have to,” Craven assured him. “You threw me for a loop, but it was good. I was

shocked and embarrassed that I liked it so much and wanted more.”

“Then we were both stupid.” Trevor leaned up a little so they could both look down and see

their hips touching and cocks rubbing. “Let‟s make up for it tonight.”

He kissed down Craven‟s chest until he reached his navel. Then he ringed it with the tip of his

tongue before delving inside. He dropped kiss after kiss and looked up at Craven. His moans
rumbled through Craven‟s body as he ran his hands over him.

“Mm,” Trevor murmured, “so different. You‟re hard everywhere. It turns me on.”
Craven squirmed under Trevor‟s touches. He was all of a sudden the inexperienced boy out of

his league. Trevor was the wolf ready to eat him up. His eyes gleamed with his hunger. Craven
licked his lips and put a hand on Trevor‟s head, losing his fingers amid the curls. “Do I taste
good?”

“Good enough to eat.”
Craven swallowed. He raised his hips, letting his shaft nudge Trevor‟s chest. “Then suck my

dick.”

Amusement reflected in Trevor‟s gaze. “So you‟ll command me, huh?”
Craven looked away. “You don‟t have to.” He felt heat in his cheeks, and then he gasped in

ecstasy when Trevor swallowed his cock. Craven gaped as he disappeared between Trevor‟s lips
and slipped out wet and shining. Trevor sucked lightly and then pulled his cock all way out of his
mouth to lick the sides. Craven couldn‟t look away. He felt pressure in his groin like he was ready
to burst.

His head fell back, and he closed his eyes. His mouth hung open making his ragged breaths

the only sound in the room. But then Trevor began making noises with his mouth each time he
released Craven‟s cock. He moaned like it tasted good. Craven‟s muscles quivered in his thighs.
How many times he‟d watched porn and saw men getting blowjobs? They‟d all looked like it was
the most amazing feeling, and now he knew. No other sensation matched it. If he‟d worried that
having Trevor‟s mouth on him would be disgusting, he didn‟t anymore. He wanted all of it and
whatever else Trevor was willing to do with him. He knew the motions and the positions because
he‟d jerked off hundreds of times to explicit movies, but nothing prepared him for the pleasure
that was his now.

“Wait, wait,” he rasped. “I‟m going to…uh…I can‟t believe…I‟m going to come, Trevor.

Wait!”

He raised his hips even though he intended to push Trevor back. He didn‟t know if his friend

wanted a mouthful of his come, and he didn‟t want to offend him. But Trevor‟s lips wrapped
around his dick made him lose control. He found himself fisting Trevor‟s hair and pumping his
hips up and down while he watched his cock glide in and out. His balls tightened, and the muscles
in his core contracted. Air hissed between his teeth.

“Trevor!” he shouted.
His friend didn‟t move, and Craven‟s juice shot out. He howled his pleasure, and to his shock,

Trevor drank it down while pulling for more. When Craven was done, he released Trevor and fell
flat on the bed. His chest rose and fell as he panted, and Trevor sat up. The wetness on his lips
mesmerized Craven. That was him, he thought, and sucked in a breath when Trevor ran the tip of
his tongue over his lips.

“You-You liked it,” he said.
Trevor grinned. “I guess I did. You liked it too from all the noise you made.”
Craven lowered his lids and focused on his slightly softened dick. The memory of Trevor‟s

mouth on him sent chills along his skin.

“I want to come,” Trevor announced. Craven leaned up on an elbow about to get into position

to return the favor. Trevor placed a hand on his chest. “No, I want to do it back here.”

He pointed a finger more at Craven‟s hip than at his ass, but he knew what he meant. His

throat dried, and he swallowed. He went to flip over, but again, Trevor stopped him.

“This way,” he said and reached over to a packet he‟d left on the side table. Craven hadn‟t

noticed earlier being so nervous.

Trevor ripped open the condom packet and began rolling the condom down his erection. At

first Craven had been impressed with how big Trevor was, but damn all of that was going up his
ass? He gritted his teeth and flared his nostrils. With all his willpower, he tried to calm down, but
nothing worked. He‟d have to admit to the truth about his experience, or Trevor would rip him
apart.

Finished with the prep to his cock, Trevor leaned over to the bedside table again and picked

up a small tube. He screwed off the top and squeezed a bit of the thick gel into his hand. When he
raised one of Craven‟s legs to place it over his shoulder, Craven‟s heart thundered in his ears.

“I‟ve never done this,” he blurted. Trevor‟s fingers, which were now poised at his ass

opening, stopped cold.

He couldn‟t read what Trevor was thinking. His expression was as it always was—easygoing

if tinged with desire. Now that he knew Craven‟s secret, he found no reason not to expound so
Trevor was clear.

“I‟ve never slept with a man.”
Trevor‟s eyebrows went up. “You‟re gay.”
“Yeah.
Trevor got up from the bed and left the room. Nausea overcame Craven. He sat up on the side

of the bed, head hanging down. He‟d blown it. The very thing he didn‟t want to happen had, and
now he looked like a fool. He should never have come back. Trevor must have been
experimenting with a man he thought knew the ropes. Maybe he‟d even wanted Craven to teach
him. Craven had seen the look in his eyes when he‟d commanded Trevor to suck his dick, but he
wasn‟t that man. He was no wimpy man, but he wasn‟t like that. He could never have followed
through with playing that role the entire time they had sex. Now he was screwed. He had to
consider what city he would move to, because he could never stay here.

Chapter Five

Craven stood and moved to the window. He pulled down a blind and stared out into the

darkness. Not that he could see anything other than his own face. The emotion reflected back at
him, and he tried schooling his features. He heard when Trevor entered the room, but he didn‟t
turn around. His friend came up behind him, and Craven‟s desires flared to life when Trevor
spooned him.

“Hey,” he said. Trevor rested his lips on Craven‟s shoulder and kissed it.
“It‟s fine,” Craven told him. “We don‟t have to go any further.”
“Is that what you want?” Trevor‟s hands came up to his sides, and he shivered. At the

continuous kisses along his jaw, on his shoulder, and on his upper back, he closed his eyes. “I
thought we admitted we wanted each other. If you‟ve changed your mind…”

Craven turned to face him. His anger flared. Trevor was giving him mixed signals, and he

wasn‟t a mind reader. “You‟re the one that walked out.”

“I know, I…” He‟d never seen Trevor at a loss for words.
“Is this like that other time when you couldn‟t find the right thing to say?”
Trevor blinked in surprise and then nodded. Craven had no idea what that meant, whether it

was positive or negative. Back then with the kiss, Trevor was hiding that he wanted to have sex
with him, but that was out in the opening now. What else was there? Frustrated, he decided to
move, but Trevor pinned him to the windowsill and pressed a muscled thigh between Craven‟s.

Their chests met with Trevor‟s hands on his waist. Craven kept his chin dipped, eyelids

lowered as he chose to focus on Trevor‟s lips. Their mouths came together in a gentle kiss. He felt
Trevor‟s lashes brush his cheek, and at some point his cock had gone hard again. How could it not
when Trevor‟s shaft lay alongside his. Craven felt sure he could come a second time just rubbing
against his friend.

Trevor raised a hand to Craven‟s hair and pushed his fingers in the silken strands. “If you

want it, I will take you. But we have to go slow. It would kill me if I hurt you.”

Craven sagged completely into Trevor‟s hold. When Trevor showed him such care, it got to

him. He was sure that Trevor‟s attitude toward him all these years was what made him love
Trevor. How he would be intimate with him and not give away his secret he didn‟t know, but he
wasn‟t willing to turn back.

“I want it.”
Trevor‟s face lit up. He took a step back and held his hand out to Craven. Craven took it, and

they walked over to the bed. Craven sat down and then lay on his back. He watched Trevor round
the bed to the table. After prepping himself and his fingers all over again, he got on the bed.
Craven‟s stomach knotted.

“Relax,” Trevor told him. “Remember, I said we‟re going to go slow. We‟re both new at this.

I haven‟t been inside a man, and you haven‟t had one. I have been here.” He touched a fingertip
to Craven‟s anus, and he jumped. By that, he knew Trevor had had anal sex with women.
Jealousy raged inside of him, but he tamped it down. He wanted to get into this, to think only of
being with Trevor.

With a feather touch, Trevor began circling his hole. Craven leaned back and closed his eyes.

He licked his lips while he enjoyed the sensation. When Trevor pulled his arm away, Craven
realized he‟d been holding the other man in a death grip.

Come on, Craven. You’re a man. Act like one.
“Go ahead,” he whispered. “Push it in.”
Trevor didn‟t do it right away. He circled the entrance again and then added more cream to his

fingers. One eased into his tight hole just a little. Craven sucked in a breath, but it didn‟t hurt.
Trevor paused.

“It‟s fine,” Craven uttered in a deep voice he didn‟t recognize. “Feels good.”
Trevor gripped the back of Craven‟s thigh and pushed it higher toward his chest. The

movement opened up his ass more allowing his friend to push his finger all the way to his
knuckle. He pulled back and then pushed in again. Craven moaned. Just that little bit had his ass
feeling slightly full, but it wasn‟t enough. He opened his mouth to ask for another, but Trevor
seemed to know he was ready. He added a second finger. Craven‟s head spun.

“Ah, fuck, fuck!” he muttered.
“Is it good?” Trevor asked.
Craven didn‟t answer. Another finger entered him. He thought he might pass out, but that

would be too pathetic. He fought the sensation, and soon his body adjusted to the pleasure
without overwhelming him.

Craven slitted his eyes and peered down over his stomach. He watched Trevor‟s movements

and then examined his cock. “Three fingers are no match to how big you are.”

He was surprised to see Trevor‟s face redden, but his friend said nothing. His movements

became faster. He pumped his fingers into Craven‟s hole and pulled out. The more he picked up
speed, the louder the slap of his palm as it paddled Craven‟s ass. His skin tingled, but it added to
the pleasure.

Craven squirmed and groaned. He grabbed hold of his the ankle of his raised leg and turned

slightly onto his side. He arched his back so that his ass was in position for Trevor. When he
looked down, Trevor‟s attention was riveted to what he was doing. The raw lust in his expression
was obvious.

“Do it, please,” Craven begged. “Do it now.”
At some point, Trevor had added a fourth finger, and now he pulled all of them out. Craven

fought to remain calm. He watched Trevor grab hold of his massive dick and push the head
toward Craven‟s hole. Craven clenched his jaw but willed the rest of him to stay calm. The first
breech stung a little. He blew a breath out through his mouth, and Trevor paused. From the looks
of it, they both were trying to hold on—Craven to remain relaxed and Trevor to keep from
coming too soon.

When Trevor didn‟t move again for too long, Craven reached down behind him and squeezed

his friend‟s cock. Trevor let out a gasp of pleasure. “Baby,” he murmured.

Craven shut his eyes tight and tried not to take that single word into his heart. The head of

Trevor‟s cock was buried in him, and he tugged to take in more. By degrees, Trevor sank his shaft
into Craven‟s ass. Until it was seated up to the hilt, they said nothing, and then they panted.

“S-So good,” Trevor rasped.
“Yes,” Craven moaned.
They took their time moving together. First Trevor was deep inside of him, and then he pulled

almost all the way out. Craven arched his hips back and forth so he could take all of Trevor. He
braced himself on his hands. Trevor let his leg down and helped him to turn over. The entire time,
his cock didn‟t slip out. Craven laid face down, ass arched into the air with Trevor spooning him.

Fuck me, please, his mind shouted. Out loud he moaned Trevor‟s name and tried his best not

to give away the love he felt for his friend.

Trevor began to pump deep inside of him and then thrust harder. “It doesn‟t hurt?” he asked.
“No, it feels incredible. Don‟t stop.”
Trevor brought his arms around and gripped Craven‟s arms. He shoved faster. The slapping of

their bodies coming together made Craven groan all the more.

“Turn your head,” Trevor demanded, and Craven did. Trevor locked his mouth over Craven‟s,

and their tongues met in a duel. Trevor growled in his mouth and thrust one last time. He held
himself inside of Craven and then sighed with his release. Craven dropped his head to the bed
panting, and Trevor‟s rested on his shoulder.

They‟d actually done it, and Craven was no longer a virgin with men. He wanted to laugh. He

wanted to declare his love for Trevor, but he clamped his teeth together to keep himself from
saying a word. Slowly, he let his hips down toward the bed, but Trevor reached under him and
cupped his cock.

“You‟re hard again. I hope that means we can keep going.”
Craven lifted his head and widened his eyes. “You didn‟t get enough?”
“If you‟re too tired…”
“Hell, no.”
Trevor chuckled. They kissed in silence for a few minutes.
“Do you think…Uh, do you want me to…” Craven swore in silence for his lack of

confidence.

“I want to do you, but after I get it up again,” Trevor admitted. “But first I‟m going to suck

your cock. Not here. Let‟s wash up a little. Come take a bath with me. That‟s another fantasy I
have.”

Craven got up feeling a bit sore in the ass. He followed Trevor to the bathroom with his gaze

on the strong male thighs and curved ass ahead of him. “Fantasies, huh? Sounds good.”

* * * *

In the morning Craven sat on the side of the bed preparing to rise. He stretched a little first to

get the kinks out of his muscles. They were a little sore but nothing too bad. His ass hole felt a tad
abused, but last night had been really good. In the light of day, he wondered if Trevor would

regret what they did. He knew he didn‟t. This had been what he wanted for years. Sleeping with
Trevor had been his one fantasy. With the many ways and locations Trevor had taken him last
night, apparently he‟d had many more fantasies than Craven.

He leaned forward to rise but a strong arm came around his waist and grabbed for his cock.

Trevor‟s chest connected with his back, and his friend dropped a kiss on his shoulder. “So in the
light of day…” Trevor said, unknowingly echoing Craven‟s thoughts.

Craven held still which was hard because what Trevor was doing to him had already gotten

him hard. He licked his lips and closed his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Do you regret it?”
“Not if you don‟t.” Craven didn‟t want to commit to any feeling.
“Have you had enough?” Trevor pressed. His hand motion increased in speed. Craven‟s jaw

went slack. If Trevor didn‟t stop, he was going to come.

“You‟re going to make me come,” he whispered.
“That‟s not a bad thing,” Trevor slowed his hand movement to Craven‟s disappointment, but

then he moved around until he laid his head in Craven‟s lap and took his cock tip into his mouth
and then released it. “Mm, so good. Release in my mouth. I love the taste of your come.”

Craven shook at the intimate stare. He hesitated and then laid a light hand on Trevor‟s head.

He moved just enough so the inches disappeared inside Trevor‟s mouth and came back slick and
wet. “Do you like my come more than a woman‟s?”

He was pissed with himself for saying it, but the excitement that flared in Trevor‟s expression

was a good sign.

“Much more. Maybe I feel like I‟m getting a forbidden treat.”
Craven didn‟t want him to feel like that. It lessened how special what they did was and made

it something that would be just as good for Trevor with any other man. Craven considered pulling
away and letting last night be it for them, but Trevor flipped over on his stomach. His head
bobbed up and down on Craven‟s cock. Craven could no more push him off now than give up
breathing.

He let his head fall back while he supported Trevor‟s. He widened his legs, and that seemed to

be Trevor‟s cue to lick down his shaft to his balls. He sucked one into his mouth and then let go
to go after the other one. Before Craven‟s dick could feel neglected Trevor swallowed it again.
This time he sucked until Craven couldn‟t hold back any longer. He uttered one shout and then let
go. He watched in fascination as Trevor leaned up enough so Craven could watch his Adam‟s
apple bob with each hungry swallow.

A few days later, Craven was in the club going over music with the band. His thoughts might

be filled with Trevor, but he‟d avoided him after that night and morning together. Trevor had also
been busy with work. Some huge project had taken him out of the house early the next day and
brought him back late, but he had left a voicemail on Craven‟s phone. Nothing special, just an
invitation for them to have lunch together. Craven noticed the missing invite to his bed, even
though Connie had come back home.

Neither he nor Trevor had admitted to her what they‟d done. But Connie had been subdued as

well. Craven had the feeling guilt ate away at her for how she‟d treated him knowing she was in
no better position. He hadn‟t shared his news with her about playing at the club. What would be
the point? His part of the agreement was still unfulfilled and would take more time.

“You know her?” Johnny the drummer asked. Trevor looked around and widened his eyes

when he saw Connie. She stood in the center of the floor, hands clutched together in front of her.
With the club not yet open, she seemed forlorn out there by herself. He might not get along with
her, but he did care about Connie.

“My sister,” he commented and set the music sheets he held down on a chair. As he walked

off the stage headed toward her, he wondered what she wanted. He did not want to get into

another argument, and they had barely spoken over the last couple of days. “Connie, what are you
doing here?”

She frowned and opened her mouth but then seemed to think better of what she‟d started to

say. “Trevor told me you were working here when I asked him why you weren‟t leaving with him
this morning.”

He guessed what she would say next. “I offered to give notice, but he didn‟t feel it was

necessary. Not like I was useful at his office. He found a replacement right away, better at
stapling.”

She seemed confused about the mention of staples but let it go. “Are you sure about this? You

came back saying you were done with music.”

He refrained from commenting but let her talk like he usually did. Craven pushed his hands

into his pockets and watched the animation on Connie‟s face. After a little while, he could make
small noises of interest without listening to a word she said, but when she came to an abrupt halt,
he blinked. Had she asked a question?

“I support you,” she announced.
His eyebrows went up. “What?”
“I said I support you.” Her lips compressed and eyebrows dropped low over eyes he knew

matched his. “I came here telling myself no more lectures and that I was going to turn over a new
leaf. I want us to get along. We‟re all we have left as far as family. Are you playing tonight?”

He shook his head. “No. Just going over some music with the guys. We should be done in a

couple hours. Why?”

Her face brightened. “Why don‟t we all go out to dinner tonight, my treat?”
He hesitated. “Can you afford that?”
She forced a laugh and slapped at his arm. “Yes, I have a refund from my school loans. I

figure it‟s not enough to pay bills, so I might as well enjoy it.”

“And when you say all of us…?”
She ticked off on her fingers, “You, me, Trevor, and a friend of mine from school. Say yes.

Please?”

He saw that she was trying, and while he wasn‟t sure about dinner with Trevor, at least if she

and  her  friend  were  there,  it  wouldn‟t  be  bad.  Craven  still  wracked  his  brain  about  what  he
wanted  to  have  happen  between  him  and  Trevor,  whether  they  would  continue  as  lovers.  He
admitted  to  himself  that  he  was  out  of  his  league,  yet  he  wanted  Trevor  more  than  ever.  Aside
from everything, he needed to protect his heart and not let Trevor know how he felt. Trevor had
enjoyed the sex. He‟d said so, but that didn‟t mean love.

Craven shrugged as he displayed a whatever attitude to his sister. “Sure. I have nothing else

planned.”

She clapped her hands and hugged him before kissing him on the cheek. “Good. Be ready at

seven. We‟ll all leave together to pick up John and then head over to the restaurant. Wear
something nice. I‟ll see you later.”

She blew out the door much more animated than when she came in, and he turned to go back

to work. That was another thing he had to think through—moving. He wouldn‟t live with Trevor
and Connie long term, even if Trevor didn‟t want him to go. The warm memory of Trevor‟s
reaction washed over him, but he shoved it away. Now was the time to put his head into his
music, and that‟s what he did until it was time to go home and shower to get ready for dinner.

Chapter Six

Craven sat in the back seat of Trevor‟s car while Connie sat in the front. Her friend was at his

right, and Trevor drove. Craven shifted and dragged at his buttoned shirt collar. Trevor‟s eyes in

the rearview mirror burned into his, and the gushing of the man next to him made him ready to
leap from the car. John had turned out to be the artist that created the painting of him hanging in
Trevor‟s living room.

For the hundredth time, John reached across and rested a hand on his wrist. “I love your

whole look. It inspires me. I expected you to be in jeans, but the cleaned up look is great too. You
can pull off anything. I want to do another portrait for you. Will you sit for me?” His eyes lit up,
and he bounced. “I know, I can come down to your club and do you there.”

Craven thought he heard a grunt from Trevor, and Connie shouted “Stop sign.” They were

thrown forward as Trevor slammed on breaks. Craven caught himself with ease, tensing his arm
muscles.

“Sorry,” Trevor called back, “Are you okay, Craven?”
“Fine,” he muttered and noted that Trevor hadn‟t bothered to ask about John.
“Oh yeah, he‟s okay,” John said, squeezing Craven‟s nearest bicep. Craven managed to move

out of reach.

“You know there‟s such a thing as personal space,” Trevor snapped. Craven glanced up at his

friend, surprised at the attitude. Trevor‟s vehemence must have been enough to quell John
because he scooted back to his side of the car and sat quiet until they reached the restaurant.

When they all piled out, John roused enough to hold the restaurant door open, but Trevor used

his bigger size to encourage him to move on without actually pushing him. He allowed Craven to
go ahead of him, but Craven stopped. “What‟s wrong?”

A round of emotions flitted over Trevor‟s face as he watched Craven, but he said, “Nothing.

Just a lot happening at work.”

Craven frowned. “I‟m sorry. I wish I could help.”
“You just do your music. That‟s what‟s important to me.”
Further private conversation was cut off because they were seated right away. Craven found

himself next to John, and he swallowed a sigh. Trevor had taken on a more friendly expression,
but Craven didn‟t think it was genuine. He couldn‟t dwell on what Trevor was feeling because
John commanded all of his attention.

“So what do you think of letting me do another painting of you?” John asked.
“I don‟t know. I‟m very busy lately,” Craven excused.
“I‟m pretty flexible. I can work around your schedule.”
Menus were laid out before them, and Craven pretended he was lost in his decision of what to

eat while Connie talked Trevor‟s ear off across the table. Even though Trevor answered her
queries, Craven felt like Trevor was more interested in him.

Craven settled on the T-bone steak with veggies and baked potato. He hadn‟t had much

opportunity for steak while he was away, and if Connie was paying, he would take advantage of
it.

“I was thinking,” John said and for some reason Craven felt dread overtaking him. John

locked his intense gaze on Craven. One hand fiddled with the stiff edges of the menu while the
other was on the seat between them. John seemed to have pent up nervous energy. He raised the
hand on the chair jerkily and then laid it down on Craven‟s. He leaned close. “We‟re kind of the
same. We‟re both artists, and I think we can have fun together. I know I come across as intense.”

You think so?
“We can have fun,” he repeated. Craven was about to remove John‟s hand from his, but John

curled his fingers and held Craven‟s hand in a death grip. “Give me a chance. Go out with me. I
don‟t look like much, but I have a trust fund. I‟m not poor at all.”

That put a stop to Connie‟s diatribe. Her mouth fell open, and she stared at them. The slight

fake smile on Trevor‟s face froze. He too stared at Craven waiting for him to say something.

Craven drew in a deep breath and pushed it out through his nose. “Will you excuse me?” he

asked John. “I have to use the men‟s room.” He scooted over until John had no choice but to rise.

“I‟ll go with you,” John said.
“No!” Craven snapped. He pulled himself together. “No, it‟s fine. Thanks.”
He hurried away from the table and thrust through a door that read men. To his relief no one

was inside and he paused to lean on the wall with his eyes closed. He‟d thought this night would
be harmless, but it was far from it. Craven was used to men coming on to him and women, but
he‟d always escaped. He never knew how to say no.

He walked over to the sink, rubbed his eyes, and then began washing his hands. Now he knew

why Connie invited him. She thought she was helping him by setting him up with her friend. She
didn‟t know what he‟d shared with Trevor. Connie had never been his confidant.

The door opened, and he glanced up hoping it wasn‟t John. Worse, it was Trevor, and Craven

knew he‟d come looking for him by the way he scanned the interior of the large area rather than
seeking out a urinal.

Trevor approached him. Craven pretended he wasn‟t done drying his hands, but he didn‟t look

up from them to Trevor‟s face.

“Well, are you going to do it?” Trevor asked.
Craven frowned. “Do what?”
“Go out with him.” Now, Trevor was in his normal mood from the looks of him. The smile

didn‟t appear forced at all. Craven couldn‟t tell what he felt or what he was thinking. “Anyone
can see that he wants you, and he‟s not bad-looking.”

Craven tossed the shredded paper towel in the trash and spent time straightening his clothes.

Apparently, what they‟d done was out of Trevor‟s system with that one night and morning. He
shrugged. “Maybe I will. You‟re right. He‟s got a good body and face.”

Trevor said nothing. Craven noticed his cock wasn‟t sitting right in his pants, so he adjusted

it. Being this close to Trevor had some affect. While he shifted it around, from the corner of his
eye, he caught Trevor tightening his hands into fists.

Craven turned to leave, but Trevor stopped him with a hand on his arm. “We can have an

open relationship. That is if you want to fuck again,” he blurted.

Open. Pain ravaged Craven‟s heart. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, sure.”
He would have moved on, but Trevor jerked him around until they were chest to chest. Not

missing a beat, Trevor leaned in and slanted his mouth across Craven‟s. His tongue parted
Craven‟s lips, wrenching a gasp from him. Craven lost himself in Trevor‟s kiss forgetting where
he was. He pressed in closer and reached around to grab Trevor‟s ass. He squeezed and stroked it
while grinding his cock into Trevor‟s. His lover moaned in his mouth. Anyone could open the
door and catch them, but Craven didn‟t care. All he wanted was more of Trevor.

After a few moments, Trevor drew back panting. He cupped Craven‟s face, his eyes dark with

need. “I want to fuck you right here and now.”

Craven caught his hands when he seemed about to make good on his words. “We can‟t. You

know that.” Trevor tugged, but Craven flexed his muscles to hold him still. He might be strong in
his own right, but Trevor was stronger. If he wanted, he could put Craven on the wall and do what
he liked. The thought of that almost made Craven let go.

“Tonight,” Trevor said in his ear, and he kissed along Craven‟s jaw. “You‟re going to let me

feel what it‟s like to have that ball on my cock while you lick me.”

Craven knew he‟d have to make another adjustment to his pants. “Whatever you want.”
They returned to the table in silence. Connie looked from one to the other, and as soon as

Craven took his seat, John scooted closer to him. He clenched his jaw and gave his order in a
clipped tone before handing the menu to the waitress. John put his hand on Craven‟s and leaned
in close to him.

“So what about it?” he asked. “Dinner? My treat?”

Craven cut his eyes briefly to Trevor and found him talking animatedly with Connie. He just

caught himself from sighing and nodded. “Yeah, sure. Thursday good? I have work Friday and
Saturday.”

John agreed and Craven sat mostly in silence while the other three talked. John kept trying to

draw him into the conversation, until Trevor said, “Craven‟s not one for conversation in a group,
even if he knows them well. He‟s more of a one-on-one man.”

To Craven‟s surprise, this seemed to annoy John. He saw jealousy flash in his eyes. “You

know him best, huh?”

“I‟ve known him for years,” Trevor admitted. “He‟s my best friend.”
John put his hand in Craven‟s and held on. “Well, I plan on getting to know him well too.”
“Well, this has been an interesting dinner so far.” Connie laughed. Craven wasn‟t sure what

she meant by her comment, but he agreed. If he didn‟t know better, he‟d say the dinner had
amounted to a tug o‟ war between Trevor and John with him in the middle. But if Trevor wanted
him for himself, he wouldn‟t have suggested they have an open relationship. Remembering still
hurt, so he was glad when Connie suggested they leave after dinner. “I don‟t think I want dessert.
What about you guys?”

“No, I have to watch my figure,” John said.
Trevor and Craven muttered “no” without the embellishment, and they stood up to go after

Connie settled the check and tip.

Later to John‟s disappointment, they dropped him off first, and Craven ignored the man‟s

attempt to get him to walk together to the door. Craven began to regret his decision to have dinner
with him. He wasn‟t interested in anyone other than Trevor, but to have agreed to an open
relationship with him left Craven in a weird position. He didn‟t know how he‟d get over his
feelings if every now and then they had sex.

Back home, Craven went to his room and pulled off his clothes. He showered and wrapped a

towel around his waist. He had no idea how Trevor wanted to handle things. He hadn‟t mentioned
letting Connie know about them. When he didn‟t get a knock on his door, he laid across the bed
to watch TV. And then he flipped through a magazine. He must have dozed because he was
startled awake at a knock on the door.

“Yeah,” he called.
“It‟s me.” Connie stuck her head in the door. “I‟m going to bed, but I wanted to say thanks for

tonight, and I hope it works out with you and John. You seemed a little tense, but I guess it‟s like
Trevor said, you‟re not good with groups. Of course, that boggles my mind because you get on
stage with no problem.”

Craven tossed the magazine to the side. “When I‟m on stage, it‟s me and my music. I‟m

alone.” There was more to it, but he didn‟t feel up to sharing it, and he didn‟t really think Connie
would understand. She was trying. “It was cool. We can do it again sometime.”

She grinned and nodded then closed the door. Craven waited an hour longer and then turned

off his light. Rather than sleep in his normal pair of shorts, and if it was a cool night an undershirt,
he climbed into bed naked. He had just settled in place with his arms folded behind his head and
thinking he wasn‟t sleepy when his door opened. Trevor came in and shut and locked it behind
him.

“That was a long wait, huh?” He strolled over to the bed and removed the tee and boxers he

was wearing. Craven couldn‟t help focusing on his already erect cock.

Trevor climbed on the bed and pulled off the sheet Craven had tossed over himself. In the

little light coming through the windows, he caught the excitement in his friend‟s eyes. Trevor
feasted on him with his gaze, his hunger clear. When he slipped on top of Craven with one leg
pressed between his, Craven caught his breath. Desire and longing roared to life inside of him.

“How long is this open relationship going to last,” he couldn‟t help asking.

Trevor stroked his hair from his forehead and kissed his lips. “As long as we both want it.

Who knows? You might fall in love with someone else and only want him in a few weeks.” The
insincerity was plain in his tone. Trevor began nibbling along Craven‟s jawline and moving his
hips a little so that their cocks rubbed. “But there‟s no way he can make you feel like I can.”

Craven‟s eyes closed. His mouth fell open on a moan, and he gripped Trevor‟s arms. “You‟re

confident from one experience.”

Trevor leaned up to look into his face. “The way you responded to me the other night, yes,

I‟m confident. But by all means, let‟s see if it‟s as good this time as it was then. Do you
remember what you promised me?”

Craven stared in silence, but Trevor leaned back more and pushed a finger between Craven‟s

lips. His tip brushed the ball in Craven‟s tongue. Just the movement made him feel like he was
already sucking Trevor‟s cock, and his own shifted between their bodies.

Trevor sat all the way up. He sat on his ass with his legs open and cock lying erect against his

stomach. “Suck me, Craven. I‟m going to come in your mouth, and you‟re going to drink every
last drop.”

Craven had to admit Trevor‟s command excited him. He sat up as well and flipped over to

crouch between Trevor‟s legs. He crawled closer and put a hand out to stroke Trevor‟s cock.
Trevor moaned.

“Are you sure Connie won‟t hear? Or did you tell her?”
“I didn‟t tell her.” He closed his hand over Craven‟s and made him stroke up and down. When

they moved together, Trevor sucked in a breath as he got into it. “Did you want me to tell her?”

Trevor‟s eyes had closed, and his head tilted back a little. Craven doubted he knew he‟d done

it. The words were pushed past his lips. All this sexual desire, he thought, from my touch. How
had Devin kept his desire a secret all these years? And what else was he hiding?

Craven moved in closer and kissed Trevor‟s bare chest. He liked the flex of muscle beneath

his touch, and he ran his tongue over the taut skin until he met with Trevor‟s nipple. He let the
ball in his tongue tease the tiny bud until it hardened. He sucked on it and nipped until Trevor
hissed.

After a little while, Trevor pushed him back panting. “I don‟t know if I can keep it down. Do

you not want her to know?”

Craven sat up. “I‟m not sure. She seemed happy that I was going to see John. She hoped it

would work out between us.”

He was shocked when Trevor‟s expression became like a thundercloud. His eyes were slits

and his lips tight and thin. “Do not mention another man‟s name in our bed. This time is mine and
all mine.”

A spark of annoyance hit Craven, and he let go of Trevor‟s cock to stand up. “You were the

one who encouraged it, and just what does this open relationship mean? You can fuck me
whenever you want and no one knows? You cross over to the gay side when the mood strikes?”

“My sexual exploits weren‟t what we were discussing earlier.” Trevor rose to stand in front of

him. “You had another man hanging on you, and you‟re the one who has been avoiding me.”

“I wasn‟t…” he began but didn‟t want to lie. Instead he said, “I think it was clear what I felt

about John.”

Trevor stepped closer. “You weren‟t exactly pushing him off.”
“You weren‟t looking close enough,” Craven growled.
Trevor thrust him back until he thumped the wall and closed in with his body pressed to

Craven‟s. But Craven was still angry. He shoved at Trevor and couldn‟t get space between them.
Trevor‟s arm muscles flexed, but he didn‟t appear to strain to hold Craven against the wall. He
pressed tighter and dropped a kiss on Craven‟s shoulder. His hand was under Craven‟s arm and
flat on the wall. He pushed a thigh between Craven‟s and nudged at his balls. Craven struggled to
maintain control.

“I don‟t understand this.” He gave up trying to fight Trevor off but kept battling against the

pleasure of having them sealed together.

“It‟s simple.” Trevor jerked him off the wall and did some quick foot movement to switch

their positions. Craven found himself flat on is back on the bed. Trevor fell on top of him and
pinned him down. “I want you so bad, I‟ll do anything to have you. After that first time, I can‟t
just ignore the feeling. So if I have to share you with that bastard that looked like he wanted to eat
you, so be it.”

Craven was about to say something, but Trevor closed a hand across his jaw and leaned down

enough for their lips to just brush. “But you don‟t get to mention anyone else when we are
together. You‟re mine tonight. I‟m not sharing.”

So many questions raced through Craven‟s head, but nothing of what Trevor said made him

think Trevor cared. He desired Craven, and that was it. No affection was needed to want to fuck
someone. With the way Trevor‟s hands roamed over his body, Craven could do nothing but give
into what they both wanted for tonight. But one thing was abundantly clear. He couldn‟t stay here
and be like this with Trevor. He thought he could, but he couldn‟t. He loved him too much. Every
time Trevor touched him, it was a searing of pain and pleasure. He needed more, but Trevor
wasn‟t willing to give it.

Craven put his hand up to push at Trevor‟s shoulder. “How can I suck you off with you on top

of me?”

Trevor raised his head and grinned. “Now you‟re talking.” He rolled onto his back, and

Craven followed until he was positioned between Trevor‟s legs. He took his upper body weight
on one elbow and grasped Trevor‟s cock in his hand. One long swipe from bottom to top, making
sure to let his piercing tease Trevor, and he had the big man under his control.

Trevor groaned and tangled his fingers in Craven‟s hair. “Ah, yeah, baby, yeah. Mm, Craven.

Damn, that tongue feels good. Swallow me now.”

Craven took his thick head between his lips and began to suck harder. He raised his head and

lowered it while picking up speed. Trevor‟s legs spread and his rough encouragement was driving
Craven‟s desire higher. He pulled back and squeezed his lover‟s shaft while licking along
Trevor‟s inner thighs. The muscles quivered under his lips, and he dropped kisses before
returning to Trevor‟s dick.

Precome salted his tongue. He dragged on the head between the roof of his mouth and his

tongue. Trevor buried both hands in his hair and began rocking his hips. Craven didn‟t have to
guess to know he was near. On purpose, Craven backed off once again and began to lick and tease
Trevor‟s balls.

“Fuck, what are you doing to me, Craven?” Trevor demanded. “Go back. I‟m so close. I need

to come.”

Craven ignored him and kept up what he was doing. He pulled one ball into his mouth and

sucked lightly. Then he released it and went after the other. Trevor‟s hand had gone slack. He had
no more strength to do anything but feel. When Trevor let go, Craven guided his cock into his
mouth and finished it. Within a few seconds, Trevor cried out, and his warm come filled Craven‟s
mouth. He took it all and swallowed in satisfaction.

When he sat up wiping his lips, he looked into Trevor‟s eyes. “Did you like that?”
Trevor grunted once again. “Are you kidding? Come here. I‟m going to return the favor.”

Craven was about to move to his side, but Trevor shook his head and patted his chest. “No, put
your ass right here.”

Craven‟s eyes grew round, but he did as he was asked. He had to admit it excited him to be

almost  sitting  on  Trevor‟s  face.  From  the  first  second,  he  let  his  cock  be  consumed,  his  head
floated  in  ecstasy.  He  rested  his  hands  on  the  headboard  and  began  a  gentle  pistoning  with  his
hips.  He  watched  as  Trevor‟s  strong  lips  swallowed  inch  after  inch  of  him.  He  hissed  when
Trevor  applied  pressure  and  sucked  so  hard  he  didn‟t  think  he  could  stand  it.  He  groaned  and

arched his back so he could fuck Trevor‟s face. His lover took all of him and didn‟t flinch when
Craven drove in faster and faster.

Trevor was better at giving a blowjob than he was. He wrapped his arms around Craven‟s

thighs and went at it, taking as much as Craven gave. The way his eyes closed and he moaned as
he sucked let Craven know he enjoyed the taste. Watching him and the feel combined brought
Craven to a head far sooner than he wanted, but he let go anyway. His juices exploded into
Trevor‟s mouth, and he took every drop.

When Craven sighed and moved back, Trevor rose up on his arms. “That was good, but I‟m

hard again.”

Craven looked over his shoulder. Trevor wasn‟t kidding. His cock had gone solid, and the tip

was inches away from his ass where he straddled Trevor‟s torso. Craven skimmed fingers over it
grinning. He knew where Trevor would go this time, and he looked forward to it. The last time
had never left his mind. He could almost feel Trevor‟s cock buried to the hilt in his ass.

“Do you have a condom in here?” Trevor asked.
Craven nodded and leaned over to the bedside table to get one. He‟d kept a stash just in case.

Not for Trevor exactly since he didn‟t know at the time if Trevor would have sex with him again.
But he knew he wouldn‟t allow himself to hang on forever. He would have sex again, and he had
wanted to be prepared. Now that he wasn‟t a virgin, it didn‟t terrify him.

Craven tore the condom out of its packet and handed it to Trevor while he got some lubricant.

He waited for Trevor to finish covering his erection, and then Trevor held his hand out for the
lube. Craven handed it over. He flipped around so his ass was facing Trevor and then gasped
when Trevor worked a finger into his tight hole.

He shuddered and moaned. Trevor smacked at his cheek and rubbed it. He pushed his finger

deeper. “You like that?”

“Yes,” Craven rasped.
Trevor smacked his ass again and then twice more. Craven fell forward with his rear in the

air. Trevor sat up to kiss the stinging skin. He massaged Craven‟s hole, guiding his finger in and
out. When Craven didn‟t think it could feel any better, Trevor added another digit. Craven
moaned wiggling his hips. He was going to give this up? He must be crazy.

When Trevor licked his cheek and squeezed it while still working his fingers in an out of him,

Craven clutched the sheets under him. His cock throbbed, ready for another round.

“Do you know how beautiful your ass is, Craven?”
Craven could do nothing but gasp. He shut his eyes tight, absorbing the pleasure that could

only come from Trevor.

“Sit up,” he instructed as he pulled his fingers free. “I want you on my cock.”
Craven climbed down Trevor‟s body and then turned around to face him. He climbed aboard

and raised his hips above his lover‟s erection. Trevor held his cock while guiding Craven down
on him. Both of them hissed at the first entry. Trevor was so amazingly thick, he stretched
Craven. But it was good, so good. When Trevor was seated deep inside, Craven began a slow
rock, and then he pumped up and down with Trevor holding his hips.

“Oh yeah, baby, faster,” Trevor said. “Play with your cock for me.”
Craven did what he asked and groaned his response. His shaft throbbed with a need to come

again. The sensation of his stroke combined with Trevor in his ass was unbelievable. He held
himself in place with one hand on Trevor‟s thigh and rode as hard as he could stand. Trevor
called out encouragement, his eyes locked on Craven‟s cock as he worked it. Craven dropped his
head back, eyes closed and jaw slack.

Trevor shouted first when he released, but Craven was hard behind him. He opened his eyes

in time to see his come shoot out and spatter over Trevor‟s chest. A few drops landed on Trevor‟s
lips, and he licked it off. When they were both empty, Trevor held up his arms. Craven lay down
on top of him as Trevor‟s legs rose so he could keep himself inside of Craven. They hugged and

kissed for a long time until Craven dozed off. Sometime later, Trevor roused him and instructed
him to come to the shower. A third round of sex in the bathroom, and they cleaned up.

Trevor went back to his room, and Craven to his. Tomorrow, this would all be an incredible

memory.

Chapter Seven

“Hey, Johnny, I heard you were looking for a roommate,” Craven said to the drummer in the

band. He‟d come down early to get in more practice before their session later.

Johnny had been sitting on the step leading off the stage thumbing through his cell phone.

Craven hoped what he‟d overheard about Johnny‟s need was good info and that he wouldn‟t mind
the person being him.

“Yeah, the last guy left me in the lurch.” He frowned. “I‟m a starving artist and all that.”
“How much?”
Johnny named the rent and terms, and Craven nodded. “I can cover it in two weeks if that‟s

okay? If I pay a little extra then, do you mind if I move in tonight?”

The drummer studied his face a minute. “Having troubles with your boyfriend?”
Craven frowned. “Trevor isn‟t my boyfriend. He‟s a friend, and I just need to be on my own.

I‟m not some college student to be living with his sister and best friend.”

His argument would have been sounder if he wasn‟t actually planning to room with his

drummer. He‟d expected to be more established at his age, but life didn‟t go that way. He
intended to make the best of it.

That morning, he‟d been determined to break things off with Trevor. And since he knew

Trevor would try to stop him from moving for whatever reason, he‟d left him a note. The message
was light, nothing emotional. He‟d told him thanks for all he had done but that he felt their
friendship would do better if they weren‟t having sex.

Of course there was no guarantee that Johnny would come through, but he had intended to

cross that bridge when he came to it. Even if he had to rent a room somewhere or go to an
overnight shelter, he‟d planned to stay gone. His luck had run out once or twice in the past, and he
had even sung on the side of the street for coins once.

“Yeah, okay, you‟ve got a deal,” Johnny told him. “At least if you don‟t pay me, I know

where to find you.” He chuckled, but Craven figured he was serious. He nodded.

Over the rest of the afternoon they practiced, and that night, they had their show. Craven was

starkly  aware  of  the  time  most  of  the  night.  He  knew  Trevor  had  gotten  off  work  and  must  be
home.  He‟d  half  expected  him  to  come  charging  into  the  club,  but  his  handsome  face  never
appeared  in  the  crowd.  When  the  session  was  over,  Craven  helped  the  guys  pack  up  their
equipment,  none of which belonged to  him, and he hopped into Johnny‟s car to  go back to  his
apartment.

That night, sleeping on the floor since Johnny‟s last roommate had cleaned the place out, he

couldn‟t get a lick of rest. All he could think about was Trevor, and every time he closed his eyes,
he felt the other man‟s hands on his body, his lips wrapped around his cock. He could even hear
Trevor‟s voice calling him baby and telling him what he wanted him to do.

That first night sucked ass, but he was determined to push through. If he‟d never had anything

else, he‟d had determination and a will never to give up.

The next morning, body aching and muscles stiff, he woke to his cell phone ringing. Hope lit

in his heart, but it wasn‟t Trevor. “Hey, Connie.”

“Hey.” He heard the hurt in her voice and frowned. He expected her to ride him for leaving

when he did, but she didn‟t address it to his surprise. “He‟s at work. Left early. You can come
pick up your things if you want.”

“Why aren‟t you riding my ass about leaving?”
“You‟re a man, Craven. You can do what you want.”
He shook his head. That had never stopped her from having her say before.
“Come on over. I‟ll make you breakfast. When are you seeing my friend John?”
He clenched his jaw. “The truth is, I‟m not. I agreed to go out with him, but I‟m not

interested.”

“Because you love Trevor.”
He gasped.
“I know the two of you very well. And…” She hesitated on what she said next. “I heard you

two having sex. Can‟t say I liked to hear it. It kind of blew me away that he would go that
direction, but I heard many men experiment.”

She couldn‟t know how much she‟d just hurt him. He didn‟t want to be an experiment. “Look,

I don‟t want to talk about it. I‟ll have to skip on breakfast. I have some work to get done. I‟m
doubling my efforts to make this club a success so I can afford to live on my own. Thanks for
letting me know he‟s not there. I‟ll talk to you later.” He hung up before she could say any more.

* * * *

Over the next few months, Craven threw himself into his work. He scoured the city and the

Internet for small, affordable bands to hire to come into the club. He spent his days off composing
songs with borrowed equipment. When he wasn‟t practicing, he was studying other successful
clubs, specifically the music. He needed to know what worked when the band took a break or
there wasn‟t one for the night. With a little finagling, he convinced his boss to toss out much of
the old boring crap his DJ played and invest in lots of newer music.

The club was filling more and more each night of the weekend. Even during the week on the

days  they  were  open,  a  decent  crowd  showed  up  who  came  in  just  to  drink  and  stand  around
talking  while  listening  to  music.  Craven  was  happy—or  rather  as  happy  as  he  could  get.  He‟d
done everything to make a success of his life at last, but also to keep his mind off of Trevor. All
that  time,  Trevor  hadn‟t  come  or  called.  He  guessed  their  relationship  had  come  to  an  end  the
night he walked out, and it tore him apart inside.

While he reflected on his accomplishments as he dressed for the evening, his cell phone rang.

He still couldn‟t stop the hope that sprung up each time it did, but he was always disappointed.
“Hey, Connie.”

“I‟m going to be a little late tonight. I hope you don‟t mind. Just order me my usual, okay?”
“Sure.” He had been having dinner with her every other week. Their relationship wasn‟t

perfect, but there was some improvement. “I‟ll see you there.”

At first he thought she might spring another obsessive friend on him, but it turned out she

respected his wish to live his life as he wanted. She didn‟t have to prove she accepted him by
setting him up on a date, although he often saw questions unspoken in her eyes. He never
addressed them.

Craven arrived at the restaurant and allowed the waiter to seat him. The man smiled and

leaned a little closer than necessary as he laid down the menu. “Are you dining alone?”

“No, I‟m waiting for a woman. She shouldn‟t be long.” He almost laughed at the surprise and

then disappointment that registered on the man‟s face. Throughout the last few months, he hadn‟t
changed his appearance. He‟d been giving the excuse that his piercings and tattoos were a part of
his “rock star” image, but they were who he was for the time being. He liked it, and it didn‟t hurt
his business in the least.

Craven made his order for himself and for Connie, and the waiter took it all down. While he

bent over his notepad, Craven studied him. The man was sexy. His build was slimmer than he
liked, but from the look of it, he was defined muscle. His ass was nicely rounded, and his lips

were somewhat thicker the way Craven preferred. He looked to be of Italian descent with darker
skin and a head full of midnight curls. Craven felt a stir of attraction, but nothing strong enough
to pursue him. He hadn‟t dated in all this time and didn‟t want to despite how he lectured himself
each night to move on.

“Will that be all?” the waiter asked.
Craven nodded, and then Connie rushed up to take him into a hug and kiss his cheek. “Sorry

I‟m late.”

The waiter seeing her stalked off somewhat sulky.
Connie wrinkled her brow as she sat down. “What was that about?”
He shrugged.
“Well I have some news,” she said, excitement sparking from her being. “I‟ve decided to

move out from Trevor‟s.”

He tried not to wince at the name. Connie had mentioned him only once in the last few

months, and that was only to wonder why he hadn‟t asked about his friend. Craven had told her
he assumed he was fine unless she told him different. Since he‟d basically shut down, she‟d let
the matter drop.

“I thought you had another semester at school, and you don‟t have a job yet.”
She bit her lip and lowered her eyelids. He paid more attention to her next words. “Well…I‟m

moving in with a friend.”

“What friend?”
She frowned. “Craven, you could be happy for me rather than giving me the third degree.”
He picked up his beer which the waiter had dropped off with Connie‟s drink and left. When

he said nothing, she fidgeted.

“Fine, I am moving in with my ex-boss. He‟s footing all the bills.”
Craven‟s eyes widened. “Your ex…boss. The man who fired you because his wife found out

you were doing him. The man who let you get thrown out on the street as a homeless person.”

“Oh, come on, Craven, you don‟t have to be so dramatic.” Her cheeks flamed red. “I was not

homeless. I chose to give up my place since it was becoming more difficult to find a decent job in
this economy, and I wanted to go back to school.”

He shrugged again, which he knew annoyed her. “You can‟t help who you love!”
No one knew that better than him. After a few minutes, he gave her a break. “When is this

move taking place?”

“This weekend,” she announced. “I could use your help with getting my stuff from storage

and the few things I‟ve accumulated at Trevor‟s.”

He wanted to ask if Trevor would be there, but dared not. He didn‟t want her to know just

how much he still affected him. Maybe it would be fine, especially since Trevor had made it
abundantly clear he wanted nothing further to do with Craven.

“Fine. I‟ll help,” he said. His cell phone rang, and he answered. “Hello?”
“Craven Ward?” asked a man with a brisk, businesslike tone.
“Yes.”
“This is Ben White. I am Trevor Scott‟s attorney.”
Craven swallowed, his throat having gone dry.
“The terms of your contract with your boss have come due for evaluation, and I‟ve arranged

to meet with him on next Monday at 3 p.m. Will you be available at that time, so we can go over
everything together?”

Craven blinked. He couldn‟t believe that Trevor instructed his lawyer to stay on top of the

contract he‟d made. And for the man to have already taken steps to meet boggled his mind.
Frustration made him clench his hands into fists and close his eyes. If anyone could send out
mixed signals at lightning speed it was Trevor. He didn‟t bother contacting him, but he made sure
his business was a success? And that was on top of all the other things he‟d done over the years.

Was it his way of buying Craven for sex? He didn‟t think so. Trevor might annoy him, but he was
a good man.

“All right,” Craven told him, “I can do that.”
“Good. See you then.” The call ended as fast as it began.
Craven finished up dinner with his sister and went back home to brood over what Trevor‟s

interference in his life could mean. He found no answers, and yet the weekend was hurtling fast
toward him. To his annoyance and shame, he chose the next afternoon to shop for something new
that looked both casual enough for moving furniture and showed him off in the best light as if he
had moved on. Too bad he didn‟t have a man to drag along to be sure Trevor—and himself—kept
his distance. Well he‟d get through it somehow.

* * * *

The weekend arrived, and Craven took extra care showering, shaving, and pulling on the

clothes he‟d bought. He‟d opted for cargo pants and a shirt that didn‟t have a rude saying on it or
some other dark phrase. He was probably an idiot for buying new clothes to do heavy labor, but
he would not look like a scruffy loser, which was probably how Trevor saw him.

When he pulled up to the house in a friend‟s borrowed car, he spotted a small van half filled

with odds and ends. He hadn‟t known Connie owned so much stuff. At least not at Trevor‟s place.
Trevor could have afforded a moving van and even movers, but he guessed Connie had refused
whatever offer he‟d made.

The garage door was closed, so he couldn‟t tell if Trevor was home or not, but his answer

came when a beautiful woman came bouncing out of the front door laughing and Trevor soon
after her. Craven froze at the sight of Trevor laying a light hand on her waist and leaning forward
to whisper in her ear. Pain shot through him. Obviously, he wasn‟t suffering the same way that
Craven was. And why would he? He didn‟t love Craven.

Trevor seemed to feel his eyes on him and looked up. His eyebrows rose, and to Craven‟s

surprise, Trevor moved his hand off the woman and stepped away. “Hello, Craven.”

He said nothing, only nodding. Against his will, his gaze slid from Trevor‟s handsome face to

the woman‟s. She was all femininity and softness with big breasts and a small waist, clothes tight
and skimpy, leaving nothing to the imagination. Craven suddenly remembered Trevor
commenting while they were having sex that Craven‟s body was hard everywhere and how he
seemed to enjoy it. Not enough apparently.

Rather than wait for an introduction, he moved past the two and headed inside calling

Connie‟s name. She appeared from the back of the house and looked at him as if she assessed his
reaction to seeing the woman. She waved a hand. “She‟s nobody. He just met her a couple days
ago. Okay, I need my bed and things moved out…”

They slaved away all afternoon, going from Trevor‟s house to Connie‟s new apartment in the

city to the storage unit where the rest of her stuff was being held. When Trevor saw it, he rested
his fists on his hips, legs spread a bit apart. “You‟re a pack rat, Connie.”

“Oh stop being lazy.” She swatted his arm and left the area with a few items.
Craven rushed to do the same, but when he turned around to leave the storage unit, Trevor

blocked his path. Craven couldn‟t get by unless he wanted to bring some part of himself in
contact with Trevor‟s body. The thought excited him, but wasn‟t an option.

“Are you going to move?” he asked. To his annoyance, hostility was plain in his voice. He‟d

wanted to appear neutral like he didn‟t give a fuck.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Trevor asked. “Why haven‟t you called?”
“I could ask the same,” he countered. “Oh, by the way, thanks for the lawyer, but I could have

handled it. I‟m not as incompetent as you might think.”

“Why the hell would I think that about you?” he spat.

“Whatever. I have work to do.” Craven tried moving around him, but Trevor grabbed his arm.

Craven found himself focused on that muscle, sheened from all the physical activity. Trevor had
worn a short-sleeved T-shirt, something Craven didn‟t think he owned. He looked really casual
for the first time he‟d ever seen him.

“Whose car is that you‟re driving, because it doesn‟t look like your style,” Trevor asked.

Craven would like to believe there was jealousy in his tone.

“Who‟s the bimbo hanging from your arm?”
They glared at each other, neither giving an inch until a throat was cleared behind Trevor.

They turned to the red, angry face of Trevor‟s date. “The „bimbo‟ is standing right here, and I
didn‟t hear you defending my honor, Trevor.”

Craven pushed past Trevor and headed out with his arm load. Let him soothe her the way he

knew how. Maybe she‟d make him forget how obvious Craven‟s jealousy was. He wished this
stupid day was over, and he could get back to his life. When he got to the van, he threw the box
into it without thought to what was inside.

“Hey,” Connie complained.
“The next time you need to move,” he growled, “fucking ask someone else!”
“Craven,” she called as he stomped by to get into the van. There he had a bottle of water, and

he drained it and wiped the sweat from his brow. In the pouch beside him, he dug out his iPod
and thrust the buds into his ears. Rock blasted into his head, and he closed his eyes. This would
be enough to get him through.

By evening, Connie was all moved in, and Trevor and Craven hadn‟t spoken more than two

words  to  each  other.  Craven  had  noticed  the  woman  was  much  more  subdued  than  her  earlier
exuberance,  but  that  didn‟t  make  things  better  for  him.  He  played  the  good  brother,  and  then
refused Connie‟s offer to treat them all to dinner and left. Back to burying himself in his work,
and  he  would  never  have  to  see  Trevor  again.  The  experience  had  taught  him  it  was  time.  He
would crush his  heart and start  a new relationship if only by  force. Nothing serious, just casual
dating maybe eventually sex, and sometime in his future, he would stop loving Trevor.

Chapter Eight

Craven paced on the stage reviewing his song in his head. This one hit home a lot harder than

all the rest. Tonight was the first time he would perform it live with an audience, and his stomach
knotted every time he thought of it. Normally, he wasn‟t the type to get stage fright. People had
called him a natural when it came to performing, but this was his heart—words he had never
shared with another living soul. Maybe he was soft for feeling it or putting it into a song, but that
was who he was.

“Craven,” someone called.
He stopped pacing and looked up. His boss—no, partner he thought with some pleasure—

waved him over to his office. They were renovating a closet to be converted for him to use as an
office. He didn‟t mind. The space was way more than he needed, and he tended to spend his time
on the stage more than anywhere else.

Craven stepped off the platform and crossed the club floor. He followed Barry into his office.

“What‟s up?” he asked.

“This.” Barry lifted a package from behind his desk and handed it over to Craven. Because of

its odd shape there was no way of mistaking what it was. The gift was professionally wrapped in
spite of the shape making him figure Barry had hired someone to pick it up.

“That was unnecessary,” he said. “I mean I appreciate it, but wow.”
Barry laughed. “Well, I‟d like to take credit for it, but I‟m not that generous.”

Craven knew he spoke the truth. If Trevor‟s lawyer hadn‟t been there to renegotiate their

terms, he was pretty sure he‟d have been stuck with the old ones. While they were good, they
didn‟t touch on the lucrative place he was in now. That was another thing he had to thank Trevor
for.

Barry laid a hand on his shoulder and left the office. Craven took a deep breath and opened

the packaging. Maybe it was from Connie. He gasped when an exact duplicate of the guitar he
had sold in L.A. came into view. How had she known? Connie had never paid much attention to
his music back then. She‟d harangued him about doing something practical with his life. That was
one of the reasons he never wanted to call her when he had to come back home.

The only person who would know what type of instrument he had bought so long ago was

Trevor. He‟d gone with Craven when he went to purchase it. Together they had spoken for a long
time with the salesman. Even before that, Craven had done his research for what would suit his
needs best, and he‟d discussed it with Trevor. Could he…?

As he stared down at the beautiful instrument he realized there was a thin rope hanging

around its neck, and at the end of that was a card. He‟d missed it because the card had caught on
his leg when he set the guitar on his lap. Craven pulled it out and flipped it over to the side that
was written on. Shock washed through his system.

“For the one I love more than any other. I‟m proud of you, and I always knew you would be a

success with your music. Trevor.”

Craven closed his eyes. The lump in his throat was so thick, it became difficult to swallow.

Trevor couldn‟t mean that kind of love. They were friends and had been a long time. Trevor
referred to that and nothing deeper.

“I‟m in love with you,” came a voice behind him.
Craven whirled around in chair, and there in the doorway stood Trevor. He felt at a

disadvantage seated, so he stood up, but it didn‟t help the way his heart pounded and his palms
were clammy. “You didn‟t need to do this. It‟s expensive. I‟ll pay you back…Wait, what did you
just say?”

Trevor grinned. He moved from the door, shut, and locked it. “I guilted Connie into keeping

her mouth shut about how miserable I‟ve been these last few months. She didn‟t say anything
about how I was doing, did she?”

Craven‟s hands shook, and he rested his gift on the chair before he dropped it. “No, she never

mentioned you at all.” When he looked up from his task, he found Trevor standing no more than a
foot from him. He swallowed. His ex-lover looked good, so sexy in slacks and a shirt open at the
collar. Just when had Trevor loosened up enough to be this casual? Craven missed him either
way.

Trevor stopped in front of him and raised a hand to his face. Craven resisted turning into it. To

keep himself from moving into Trevor‟s arms, he brought to mind that bimbo Trevor had with
him during the move. His lips tightened which must have drawn Trevor‟s gaze to them so that he
guessed what bothered Craven.

“Think, baby, you know even before I didn‟t date women like that. She was a tool.”
“What are you talking about?”
Trevor closed the space between them. All the willpower in Craven‟s body kept him from

crying out with lust at Trevor‟s cock brushing his.

“I needed something to keep going after you, from touching you and begging you to come

back.” No such thing was between them because Trevor drew him into his arms and forcefully
turned Craven‟s head so they could kiss. Liquid heat coursed through Craven. His dick shifted in
his pants, and there was no hiding the affect Trevor had on him.

“You shouldn‟t do that,” Craven grumbled.
“Nothing‟s holding me back now,” Trevor said. “The only thing that could is if you tell me

Connie was wrong.”

“What are you talking about?”
“She knew how we both felt about each other. Maybe she knew at the beginning. I don‟t

know. I‟m guessing she didn‟t like it. She could accept her brother being gay but for him to get
the man she couldn‟t make it work with? Kind of a blow. Yesterday she admitted to me how
much you love me. You see I had some joy in knowing you were finding success at last, but she
told me underneath it all, you weren‟t happy. And she told me why.”

Craven tried to move out of his arms, but Trevor held on. “That doesn‟t give you an excuse,

does it?” he bit out. “Let me go. You like fucking me, but you don‟t want anyone to know.”

“Who says?” Trevor turned on his heel holding Craven‟s hand. He wrenched the door open

and  dragged  him  out  to  the  main  floor  where  his  band  and  other  employees  of  the  bar  were
moving  about  working  in  preparation  for  their  opening.  Trevor  whistled,  catching  everyone‟s
attention.  “Hey,  I  want  you  all  to  know  I‟m  in  love  with  this  man,  and  in  a  few  minutes,  I‟m
going to ask him to move back in with me.”

Craven‟s face flamed. “Trevor!”
There were a few return whistles and claps. Someone said, “Tell me something new.” Craven

tugged to get away from Trevor, but then he was whipped back to the office with the door
banging shut behind them.

“Now, does that prove that I‟m not ashamed of my love for you?” he asked.
Craven shrugged. “Why now rather than before?”
“Because I‟m an idiot,” Trevor admitted. “I thought all this time I was proving my love to

you. All the times I took care of things and looked out for you. All the time we spent together
when you were here. I guess back then I wasn‟t able to show it because I was afraid, but then later
I didn‟t know if you felt differently about me. I wasn‟t lying about being attracted to women too,
but no woman has ever been in my heart like you. No one. Move in with me, Craven. I love you
so much. I can‟t stand for us to be apart anymore. I can‟t bear the thought of you leaving town
again…unless that‟s what you want.”

The raw pain Craven saw in his eyes floored him. Always before Trevor hid what he truly felt

behind a smile and his kindness. Now he knew what was in his head, what he‟d kept from the
world and Craven in particular.

“I wanted this a long time,” he said with hesitance. “I loved you from the first day I met you,

when you defended me against those bullies.”

“I think I felt the same.” Trevor paused to kiss him, and this time Craven didn‟t fight him.

“You don‟t know how happy you‟ve made me. Tell me you‟ll move in with me.”

Craven looked down. “I want that, but Johnny…”
“Who the fuck is Johnny?” Trevor growled.
Craven jumped at the vehemence. Only now did he realize Trevor might know how his career

was going, but he hadn‟t delved into where he was staying. Maybe he hadn‟t wanted to know.
“He‟s my roommate. I—”

Trevor grabbed his chin and forced Craven to look him in the eye. He could have jerked free,

but he knew Trevor was feeling jealous. It was no more than he deserved for that woman, but he
didn‟t want to hurt him either.

“Are you two lovers?”
Craven‟s eyes widened. “Hell, no. He‟s not gay, and he‟s not my type.”
The relief on Trevor‟s face was palpable. He pulled Craven closer, burrowing him into his

chest. When he licked Craven‟s ear, a shiver ran down his spine. Trevor reached down and
squeezed Craven‟s ass before delving deeper to push a finger between his cheeks through his
pants. “You‟re mine,” he whispered in Craven‟s ear.

“Yes.” Craven couldn‟t manage more. He was so horny, he felt like coming right there.

Because his mind was overwhelmed with his desire, it was a moment before he realized Trevor

had whipped him around and pushed him toward the desk. Trevor reached for the button on his
pants. Craven yelped at his zipper lowering. “What are you doing? This is my boss‟s office.”

His pants were around his knees along with his boxers before Trevor bothered answering.

“I‟ve locked the door. What is he going to do, fire you? Besides, he‟s no longer your boss.”

Craven braced himself on his forearms and fists. He closed his eyes. “Trevor. We should wait

until we get home.” He protested, but he couldn‟t stop Trevor anymore than the man wanted to
stop. Craven drew in a sharp breath when his lover wet his hole with his tongue. A moan escaped
his lips just after. Trevor ate him like he was starving, and then he wet his own cock.

The head going into Craven‟s ass was a hard squeeze. They both grunted—Craven from a

slight ache. But then the pain turned to pure pleasure. Trevor only waited until he got his dick
seated to the hilt, and then he began pumping fast. He slammed his hard tool into Craven while
grasping his hips. Craven clutched the edges of the desk. He clenched his teeth together. Trevor
pumped into him mercilessly, but he came fast. He leaned down on top of Craven while still
buried inside of him. While they were back to chest, Trevor slid a hand around to grasp Craven‟s
cock. Craven cried out at his roughness, the way he squeezed his head too tight.

“Tell me you won‟t leave again,” Trevor demanded.
“I won‟t,” Craven murmured. Trevor massaged his cock and manipulated it until Craven felt

the beginnings of his orgasm. He shook with pleasure, and Trevor kissed his shoulder. “I‟ll move
in tonight. We‟ll figure out the rest.”

Now Craven knew how much it had torn Trevor apart when he left both the first time and a

few months ago. He‟d thought he was the only one hurting, but Trevor must have suffered right
along with him. Still he‟d smiled and been good to Craven. Trevor stroked him faster as if to get
his attention. He had it! Craven moaned.

“Yes, I‟m going to come.”
“Hm, baby,” Trevor rumbled in his ear. “Do it for me.”
He began moving in and out of Craven‟s ass in a slow pace. The movement coupled with

what he was doing to Craven‟s cock was too much. He felt tense and nervous about someone
catching them, namely his partner. But he couldn‟t help himself.

“Trevor,” he cried out, and his come shot forward spilling on the floor.
His lover kissed his lips and then stood up, pulling out. On shaky legs, Craven stood too, and

watched as Trevor found tissue to help clean them up. When they were fully dressed, Trevor took
him into his arms again, and they stood together holding on in silence.

“I love you more than I can say,” Trevor said. “But my patience is shot. I can‟t be nice

anymore. I can‟t smile and say everything is okay.”

Craven reached up and stroked his lover‟s cheek as he kissed him. “Don‟t worry. I love you

too. Trev, I‟m all yours—now…and forever. As far as I‟m concerned, I‟m home at last. To stay.”

The End

About the Author

Eden Cole is the author of several erotic works including male/male and ménage, and she has

many more on the way. Please visit Risky Ink at riskyink.blogspot.com to find out more about her
First Time Series of male/male novellas.