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Table of Contents
1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 2
3. Chapter 3
4. Chapter 4
5. Chapter 5
6. Chapter 6
7. Chapter 7
8. Chapter 8
- 3 -
Summary
Sequel/futuretake of Fridays at Noon. Edward loves his daughter, but he must
deal with the feelings of guilt he carries with him. Edward's Penny brought with her
all the drama you'd expect from a Masen.
- 4 -
Chapter 1
Chapter 1
"Daddy? Daddy, wake up."
I could hear her voice. A soft, melodic whisper that somehow pulled me from a
sound sleep. I could feel her breath on my face as she nudged my shoulder with her
little hand. Opening my eyes at this time of night was not possible, however.
"What's the matter, Pennylove?" I whispered back.
"Can I sleep with you? I had a bad dream."
I opened my tired eyes just enough so I could see her tiny frame, grab her, and lift
her over my body and into the empty space beside me.
"You don't have to wake Daddy up, baby. Just climb in." She always woke me,
though. It didn't matter how many times I told her to just get in with me. The thing I
learned about my daughter early on - she didn't always listen. So much like her
mother.
My sweet girl curled up next to me. Her head rested on my pillow, even though
there was one she could have all to herself next to me. Her little feet pressed against
my legs. She was a snuggler, like her father. Anytime she slept in here, she had to
be touching me with some part of her body, usually several parts. How many times
had a been woken by a hand in my face or a knee in my back? Too many to count.
"I hate bad dreams," she said with a sigh.
"You want to talk about it?" I asked, throwing an arm over her and rubbing my
thumb back and forth on her back.
"There was a robber and he came in the house and stole Cupcake."
"And then what happened?"
"That's it. He stole Cupcake and I cried and then I woke up."
"Oh, that's not so bad." Someone could come and steal Cupcake anytime they
- 5 -
wanted as far as I was concerned. Her name was completely deceiving; Hell Hound
would have been a more fitting choice. She was my punishment for spoiling my
daughter rotten.
"It was terrible! Cupcake would be so scared without me." Her empathy and
goodness got me every time. She would cry not for herself but because the dog
might be sad and lonely. She was exactly like her mother. Always putting others
before herself. Oh how that scared the fuck out of me.
I kissed her forehead. "I'll talk to Tyler in the morning. He'll make sure security is
tight. We wouldn't want anything to happen to Cupcake."
"Good thing we have Tyler," she said while yawning. She wiggled and snuggled in
closer.
"Good thing," I replied, giving her a little squeeze. My baby thought Tyler could do
anything. She listened to him, even better than she listened to me. She trusted him
and believed he would protect her from anything and everything. Yet another
similarity to her mother.
I couldn't fall back asleep. My thoughts drifted back to another time, a time when
protecting Isabella meant not protecting the precious little girl sleeping soundly
next to me. My thoughts turned to a real life nightmare. One I had lived through.
One that made me feel like the worst father in the world.
I remembered the night I called Tyler, in hopes that he would help me protect
Isabella from herself.
"Sir? Is everything all right?"
"I need you to get over here, now."
"May I ask if Mrs. Masen is okay?"
"No, she's not okay, and I need you to come over here and talking some fucking
sense into her."
"Who are you talking to?" Isabella walked into the office. She was angry, but she
didn't know angry. I knew angry. I was angry at the world, once again.
"If you aren't going to listen to me, maybe you'll listen to Tyler."
- 6 -
"The man is just got back from his honeymoon! Hang up the phone and tell him
you're sorry for bothering him," she demanded, storming towards me with a
ferociousness that almost made me do what she said.
"I think he should know that you plan on killing yourself! I think he should know
that you won't listen to reason! I think he should talk to you because you listen to
him." Not me. Never me.
"What's wrong with Bella?" Tyler's worry skyrocketed after hearing my rant.
Isabella was shaking her head as tears streamed down her beautiful face.
"The baby is going to kill her if she tries to carry it to term. Tell her she needs to
end this pregnancy now, Tyler. Tell her!"
I held out the phone for my wife, my chest heaving in anticipation of the sobs that
were threatening to pour out of me.
Instead of taking the phone, she grabbed my face and stared into my watering
eyes. She kissed my lips and promised, "I'm not going to die, Edward."
I kissed the top of my daughter's head and tried to purge the memory from my
mind. If I had a nickel for every promise someone made me...
A/N: I don't own Twilight.
You all asked for a sequel and here it is. Don't hate me. I said I wouldn't
do this unless there was a story to be told. This is going to be short - 6 to 8
chapters total. It is one day in Edward's life with flashbacks thrown in each
chapter.
Today is a special day - today is my dear friend's birthday. Today Memphis
Lamb is celebrating a big one :) She is one of the greatest ladies I know and
since I didn't buy her a gift, this was the best I could do. Happy birthday,
ML! I love you!
Chapter two on Saturday, how about that? Will post a chapter every
Saturday morning. Still using the blog to give you some pictures and
ramblings.
- 7 -
XOXO,
TF
- 8 -
Chapter 2
Chapter 2
I dumped some dog food into the small pink ceramic bowl. It had the name
Cupcake proudly written on it in what I would consider excellent printing for a
four-year old. My aunt had taken her to one of those do-it-yourself ceramic stores
and let her spend all day painting things for everyone in the family, Cupcake
included. I had a lovely purple, green, blue, and sparkly Statute of Liberty on my
desk at work because of that day with Grandma Esme.
The white puffball at my feet was wagging her tail in anticipation of eating. "Try
not to make a mess, mutt," I grumbled, walking away and leaving her to her
breakfast.
Charlotte shook her head at me as I made my way back in the kitchen. "Having a
pet will teach her responsibility. She'll have to feed it every morning and afternoon.
She'll have to walk it and play with it. Not to mention clean up after it. I promise,
Char, you will not have to clean up after it." She was mocking me, using my words
against me.
I talked big when I bought the dog. I had rationalized that it would be a good
learning experience for my Pennylove. Of course that lasted all of two days. Then it
became too much of a chore for her. She would beg me to do it for her and I
completely caved every time. I've been taking shit for it ever since.
I scratched the back of my neck and shuffled my feet to the table. "Don't start with
me this morning. I had a visitor in the middle of the night, who kept me up with her
loud snoring."
My little copper-haired beauty adjusted the baby doll that was sitting on her lap
while she was trying to eat breakfast. She looked over at me with those big, brown
doe eyes and pursed those heart-shaped lips.
"I don't snore, Daddy." Her indignant tone made me think immediately of the
mother she so closely resembled. "Lala, tell him I don't snore."
Penny had the hardest time pronouncing Charlotte's name when she was first
learning to talk. She could say it now, but Lala was the name that had stuck.
Sometimes, I caught myself calling her Lala.
- 9 -
"An angel like Faith could not possibly snore," Charlotte said in her defense,
setting down a stack of pancakes in front of me.
Faith Elizabeth Masen. Isabella and I had chosen her name before she was born
because we knew the baby was a girl. We had seen the pictures. There had been so
many ultrasounds, especially towards the end. So very many doctor appointments
before she was born. Penny was my nickname for her because of her hair and the
obvious symbolism. I shoved a forkful of pancakes into my mouth, hoping they would
push the lump in my throat down.
"See, I don't snore. Lala says so, so it must be true." She went back to eating her
pancakes that were drowning in way too much syrup. Her pajamas were going in the
laundry immediately after we finished eating. My Penny would be getting a bath this
morning as well.
"Lala's always right, huh?"
"Always," Penny said with a nod.
Charlotte gave me a wink and a smile as she began washing the dishes. Charlotte
was right about a lot of things. She knew things instinctively. I clearly remembered
another morning spent in the kitchen with the all-knowing Lala.
"I think she's pregnant."
"What? No," I scoffed.
"She's thrown up every morning this week. There's no way this is the flu."
I shook my head, unable to wrap my head around it this early in the morning.
Since I had assumed my wife had the flu for the last five days, I had moved myself to
the room down the hall because I was not catching it from her this time. Sleeping
alone was not good sleep for me. I hated sleeping alone. Isabella had only been off
birth control for a little over a month and a half. We had plenty of sex, so it was
possible. I knew I was going to be good at this baby-making shit.
"You think?"
Charlotte nodded enthusiastically. "I do. I really do."
Isabella came back into the kitchen, her hair in a sloppy bun. I told her she
couldn't go to work today. She had to go to the doctor to get checked out.
- 10 -
"Maybe I shouldn't have eggs. Maybe just some toast," she said to Charlotte as
she sat at the other end of the table from me. I looked at her more closely. She
looked tired. Her skin color was good, though. She wasn't so pale. She
almost...glowed. "What?"
My eyes met hers. Eyes that made me want to forget all about going to work. "
Maybe you should have the doctor do a pregnancy test."
"What?" Her eyes widened in surprise at my suggestion.
"Char thinks you might be pregnant. Could you be pregnant?"
Isabella put her elbow on the table and rested her head on her hand. "I'm not…I
couldn't be…my last period was…oh my God…do you think?" She looked over at
Charlotte, who was again nodding enthusiastically.
"That would explain the morning sickness. Plus, you've been so tired," Charlotte
said.
Isabella sat across from me, thinking it all over. I could see the gears spinning in
her head. She might have been mentally counting the days since her last period. She
stared back at me.
"What are you thinking?" she asked me, chewing on her lip.
"I think you should get a test done at the doctor."
"Are we ready for this? I didn't think it would happen right away. I thought it
would take a few months of trying. I'm not sure I'm ready. What if I'm not ready?"
I smiled at her worry. She was going to be the greatest mother that ever lived.
"We're ready. You're ready. If you want four or five of these things, we need to get
started."
I got up and moved over to where she was. If it was pregnancy and not the flu,
that meant I could move back in the bedroom. It also meant we could start kissing
again. I hated not being able to kiss her. I pulled her up out of the chair. I hugged
her and kissed the top of her head.
"Everything is going to be fine. Let's not worry until we need to worry," I told her.
Charlotte barked a laugh. My head snapped in her direction. She put her hand
- 11 -
over her mouth in apology. Isabella was giggling in my arms.
"It's frightening when you are more rational than me," she said, holding on to me
tightly.
It didn't happen often, but it happened. I could be rational when I wanted to be.
"See what loving you does to me? It makes me all reasonable and easy going."
She lifted her face to me. There was a hint of misplaced fear. There was nothing to
worry about. I knew we were going to be the best parents ever. Together we would
create the greatest, most loving family the world had ever known.
"You're excited about this, aren't you?"
"Maybe a little." I smiled crookedly. It smoothed away those worry lines that
creased that spot between her eyes.
I wanted children with Isabella. I had wanted them before we were even married.
I wanted to prove to myself that I could be different from my father. I wanted to
create children with her so our love would outlive us both in the form of a living,
breathing person. Someone who could go on and create grandchildren and great
grandchildren and so on. Our love deserved to go on forever.
"I love you."
"I love you infinitely more." It was my new response. It drove her nuts because
there was really no way to top that. Edward Masen's love could not be topped.
"It could be a terrible stomach disease."
I laughed through my nose. "I won't let anything happen to you, Isabella. I have
the ability to hire the best doctors in the world should it be life-threatening. It's a
baby, though, I know it. Charlotte says so, so it has to be true."
She kissed me softly and smiled up at me. "Not life-threatening but definitely
life-altering."
How wrong and how right she had been at the same time.
"Is someone going to let Cupcake out before she messes in the house again?"
Charlotte asked.
- 12 -
"Pleeeease, Daddy?" My Penny looked up at me with that angel face.
"I'll do it this time, but you're going to let her out the next time. Deal?"
"Deal," she agreed, knowing that she would only need to bat those eyelashes and
beg me in that sweet little voice and I was going to let Cupcake out until the damn
thing died...or until she went to live on "the farm."
"You're such a responsible pet owner, Mr. Masen," Charlotte taunted me.
I sneered at her as I scooped up the little devil dog and carried her outside. I set
her down on the patio and motioned for her to run off into the grass and do her
business. She sniffed around and pissed on one of the patio chairs.
"Cupcake! Damn dog, go out in the grass!" Instead of going in the grass, she
started barking at me. She was a yippy little thing. "Piss! In! The grass!" I chased
her into the yard. She was so stupid. She was lucky my Penny loved her so much. I
would take her to the shelter in a heartbeat.
I rubbed my eyes. I had a full day ahead of me. Penny had dance class, Emmett
was coming over, and I needed to get about an hour's worth of work done.
Saturdays were always busy. This one was no exception.
I whistled for the dog. "Cupcake, come! Come, you stupid pup!" As if she knew I
had shit to do, the dog did everything but come to me. I was not going to chase that
damn devil dog. I was barefoot and in pajamas. I'd be damned if I was going to run
around my backyard after some fluffball beast. I sat down on the stone half wall that
wrapped around the patio. I could wait her out a couple minutes more.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head up towards the morning sky. It had been a
while since I had made the time to meditate. I took a deep breath and let my mind
wander back to a time when Saturdays were spent in bed with my wife.
"Nicholas Charles Masen," I said, kissing her belly. It was still flat and smooth.
She was almost twelve weeks pregnant. Not far enough along to be showing yet.
Just far enough that we were going to tell the family we were expecting.
Charlotte knew. Tyler knew. Somehow we both kept the secret from everyone
else. It had been an excruciating six weeks. Isabella almost told Jasper several
times. I wondered if Esme wasn't on to us.
"I think she's a girl."
- 13 -
"Boy. He is going to be a boy."
"I guess in about eight weeks, we'll know for sure. That's if you want to find out
when they do the ultrasound." Isabella fingers raked through my hair as I drew
invisible circles around her belly button.
"I want to know. Do you want to know?"
She smiled down at me. "Kind of. I don't think I can wait twenty-eight more weeks.
That seems so far away. I'd also like to decorate the nursery before she's born."
"I'm sure he'd love it if you had his room all decked out in blue and maybe
airplanes. Boys love airplanes."
Isabella just shook her head and let me kiss up her body until I made it to her
breasts. Her stomach wasn't any bigger, but her breasts...her breasts were fantastic.
"Boys love boobs, too, it seems."
"We do. We definitely love boobs, too." I nuzzled in between them and let my
tongue play with one of her nipples. She let out a soft, breathy moan of approval.
"You're going to have to share those once the baby's born, you know."
I didn't want to think about that, yet. Just the thought of not having her body all to
myself was distracting me from what I wanted to accomplish here. I was going to
have to share her in many ways, and I was going to have to be okay with that. I was
not going to be my father. Already, I knew I was different. I loved this baby. I loved
it before I was even sure it existed.
I climbed on top of her and nudged her legs apart. I slid into her, letting myself
feel her body adjust to mine inside her.
"I love you," she whispered, dragging a finger down my cheek as I hovered above
her.
"I love you...both."
The biggest smile overtook her face. "Well, we love you infinitely more."
I bent my head and laughed in the crook of her neck. "No stealing my lines." I
- 14 -
kissed her neck and began moving my hips. Isabella scratched down my back. Her
hands settled on my ass, pushing me deeper. No one loved anyone more than I loved
Isabella. It was impossible.
"Arr, arr, arr!" Cupcake was barking at my feet. I hadn't even realized she was
back. I also didn't realize she had found the one mud puddle that was out there. She
was disgustingly dirty. Her paws, belly, and face were filthy.
"Are you fucking kidding me, dog?
I didn't want to touch her. I didn't want to deal with her, but Charlotte would quit
if I asked her to take care of the damn thing.
"Good morning, sir," a voice came from the lawn.
Tyler. He would never quit. He and Terry now lived in the guest house. Isabella
had coerced him to take it as a wedding gift, explaining that a married man should
have his own house even if he was the head security guard for one of the richest
men in America.
Tyler joined me on the patio. He glanced down at the muddy mutt but said
nothing.
"Good morning," I said almost too cheerfully. I tried to hide my evil grin. "I need to
give Faith a bath before we go to dance class. Clean the dog up or find someone else
to do it while I take care of my Penny." I patted him on the shoulder as I walked past
him and back into the house. I could swear I heard him cuss at me under his breath.
"Close your eyes, baby." I poured some water over her penny-colored hair, rinsing
away the shampoo. I had to do it a couple times before it rinsed clean. I handed her
a towel to wipe her eyes.
Once she could see again, she went back to playing with the little plastic ocean
animals she had to have in the bath with her."What's the mostest far away, Africa or
the moon?"
"The moon is farther than Africa."
"What's more far than the moon?"
- 15 -
"Well, let's see. The sun is farther from us than the moon. So are the other
planets."
She made the little plastic seal swim side by side with the plastic shark in front of
her. "What the most far thing ever?"
"The farthest," I corrected.
"Yeah, the farthest. What's the farthest?"
I let out a contemplative sigh. That was an impossible question. We had no idea
what was out there in other galaxies. Space could be infinite. Four-year olds did not
understand infinite.
"I don't know, baby."
"Is heaven farthest?"
I wondered for a moment where this was going. I gently rubbed a soapy sponge on
her back. "Heaven is probably pretty far."
"Farther than the sun?"
I nodded my head. "Farther than the sun."
"Then I love you to heaven and back and heaven and back and then to the sun and
then to the moon and then to Africa and then to heaven again and then to Grandma's
house in Florida and then to China and back. Two times."
I had read her Guess How Much I Love You one too many times. We usually had
these love competitions at bedtime.
"That's a lot."
"It's the most," she said, satisfied that she had come up with an unbeatable
distance.
I squinted, pursed my lips, and nodded. Then with a shrug, I added, "Of course,
my love stretches that far four times, so I guess I love you the most. Sorry."
"I meant to say ten times," she argued.
- 16 -
"You did not."
"I did."
"You love me all that way ten times?"
She nodded; picking up the plastic starfish and making it kiss the plastic shark.
"That's really a lot," I acknowledged. My heart swelled in my chest. She loved me.
She adored me. Her love knew no bounds. She was just like Isabella. She loved me
even when I was horrible. It was her love that made me a better man, someone
worthy of love. "Well, I meant to say my love goes on forever, without end,
infinitely."
She giggled and looked at me with her mother's eyes. "You sound like Buzz."
"Buzz?"
"To infinity and beyond!"
"Oh, Buzz Lightyear." We had watched all three Toy Story movies more times than
I could count. "Yes, I love you to infinity and beyond."
My Penny thought it over for a minute. She lined up her plastic sea creatures
along the edge of the tub, and then knocked them into the water one at a time.
"Well, I love you to infinity and beyond infinity times. I win."
Her ability to love was mostly Swan. Her competitiveness? All Masen.
I had to laugh. I touched her perfect little nose with my finger. "You win this time,
Pennylove. This time."
I let her play a few more minutes as I sat on the cool tile floor. I rested my head
against my hand as my elbow sat on the edge of the tub. I smiled at my daughter
when she smiled at me. I pretended to be mad when she splashed water at me,
which only made her splash me again. I told the plastic shark to be nice when it
tried to eat the plastic angelfish. And once again, I tried to forgive myself for things I
had said and done before she was born.
"We can adopt, Isabella. There are millions of children out there without a family.
There's absolutely no reason to continue this pregnancy!"
- 17 -
Isabella sat on the couch, Tyler on one side of her, Rosalie on the other. They were
both her fucking bodyguards. They were guarding her from me. From me! Tyler had
been no help. He immediately sided with Isabella. Emmett was at least trying to stay
neutral. Rosalie with her women-have-the-rights attitude was lucky to still be in my
house. I wasn't sure why she was a part of this conversation in the first place.
"I love her, Edward! I love her. Isn't that reason enough?" She wiped the tears
that had not stopped falling from her eyes since we got the news. "Don't you? Don't
you love her already?"
I yanked at my hair with both hands. Did she really not understand? I dropped to
my knees in front of her. "I love you more."
That was the plain and simple truth. We were sixteen weeks into this pregnancy,
but if the baby was going kill Isabella, I wanted nothing to do with it. I wanted it
gone. I wanted it to not exist. It was a threat. It had the potential of becoming a
murderer. I wasn't going to let that happen.
Isabella would not give in. She leaned forward and held my face in her hands. "I
know you love me. Nothing is going to happen to me. It's risky, but the odds are in
my favor."
I shook my head and stood back up. I didn't want to hear about odds. The pain in
my chest was overwhelming. I rubbed the spot with the heel of my hand. Maybe
something was wrong with me, too.
"We don't know what's going to happen! We can't be sure. I like sure. I want
sure."
"It's her body, her choice. You don't get a say in this one, Edward," Rosalie
reminded me for the five-hundredth time.
She was going to make me fire Emmett. I was actually considering firing him for
no reason other than allowing her to get in the middle of this conversation. This was
supposed to be a discussion between me and my wife. I called Tyler because I
thought he would talk some sense into her. Emmett hadn't left my side since we
returned from the hospital. Tyler and Emmett were our closest confidants, though.
Rosalie was not and she was pissing me off.
"Rose, honey, please." Emmett finally spoke up.
"What? Are you saying you condone him forcing her to get an abortion?"
- 18 -
"No doctor will perform an abortion if I object. He can't force me," Bella
interjected.
"I'll bet that I can find someone willing to do whatever I pay them to do," I spat.
Finding a doctor was not an issue. I would pay any amount to keep my wife safe.
Isabella's face drained of all color. Her arms wrapped around her stomach
protectively. Frightened eyes stared up at me.
"Sir," Tyler said a little too loudly. He sat on the edge of his seat as if he was
preparing to tackle me if I tried to take Isabella to a doctor willing to do my bidding.
"I think you need to clear your head. Perhaps you should go with Emmett; it's
obvious that you two aren't going to come to an agreement tonight. Maybe we can
talk again in the morning, after you've had some time to think about it."
It was not a suggestion. It was posed as a suggestion, but the look on Tyler's face
told me that if I didn't leave with Emmett, he would make me leave. It didn't matter
that I was his boss. This was one of those times when he would sacrifice himself for
her. He was willing to give his life for her, but he wasn't willing to stop her from
killing herself. It made no sense to me. How could someone swear to defend her but
let her do something that could stop her heart from beating?
"That's a good idea, E. Why don't you stay with me tonight?"
"Is that what you want, Isabella? You want me to leave my own house?" I could
feel my own heart thumping in my chest so hard that it hurt.
Her beautiful face was hiding in her hands. She shook her head but stayed hidden.
Tyler didn't care what Isabella had to say on the matter. "If you don't go, I'll take
Mrs. Masen with me. She needs to rest. This stress can't be good for her or her
heart."
Her heart.
Her heart was broken. Literally broken. Faulty. Maybe that was why it allowed her
to fall in love with me.
"Fine! I'll go, but I'm not going to change my mind. I will hate this baby, Isabella."
I pointed an angry finger in her direction. "If anything happens to you, I will hate it
more than my father hated me." I stormed towards the door. "Infinitely more!" I
shouted over my shoulder.
- 19 -
"Can I wear my purple ballet outfit today, Daddy?"
I pressed my fingers to my eyes, trying to push the ugly memories away. How I
wished Isabella was here to tell me it was all right. I wished she could take away the
guilt and the shame that seemed to be consuming me today.
"You can wear whatever you want." Guilt was a funny thing. It made you buy a dog
you didn't want and five American Girl Dolls that one little girl could not possibly
play with alone. It made you spoil and dote. It made it impossible to say no to every
whim and want. I would forever be trying to make up for something that, hopefully,
my daughter would never even know happened. "Whatever you want, Pennylove."
A/N: I don't own Twilight.
Okay, so it appears Chapter One freaked a few people out. I still won't
answer direct questions about Bella. I will say I hope that, for those of you
who are speculating that she didn't make it, you will wait until the story is
done posting and then come on back. I understand not being able to read
this without knowing for sure what happens. SM had the advantage that
people could peek at the last chapter of BD. Those of you who are along for
the ride, hopefully I keep you guessing until the end. That was kind of the
point. I wanted the story to be interesting and not a rehash of things that
have been done (so no, Victoria did not kidnap Bella) or pointless fluff.
There should be a little of everything in this story. I promise.
Just don't give up on me, y'all! Hopefully I've proven I know how to take
you on a satisfying ride!
Thanks to momof4luvntwisaga for fixing the errors I just can't catch.
Thanks to all the people out there that have expressed their excitement
about this mini-sequel. Thanks to Jaime Arkin for making a beautiful
banner. My ramblings are on the blog -
fridaysatnoonfanfic(dot)blogspot(dot)com
If you need something to read in between updates, I strongly suggest you
check out the one shots in the TLS Lyrics and Lemons contest
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2942359/TLS_Lyrics_and_Lemons_Contest One
of them belongs to me, but I can't tell you which one. Lots of entries and you
can vote for your fav on their blog! If you need a full story, I need to pimp
out There is a Light by belladonnacullen. People, this is an amazing story.
- 20 -
She deserves more reviews for this story. It will leave your head spinning,
trying to figure out what's happening. SOOOOO good.
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7015642/1/There_is_a_Light Read and then
review and tell her Trouble sent you.
XOXO,
TF
- 21 -
Chapter 3
"Well, don't you look like the most beautiful ballerina in the world!" Alice picked
Penny up and twirled her around.
"You know you aren't supposed to lift her in your...condition."
"I'm pregnant not disabled," she said, rolling her eyes at me.
"What are you doing here?"
"Don't you have a several things to take care of today? I was going to take Faith to
dance class for you." She looked at me like I was slow.
I shook my head. "You don't have to do that, Al-"
"This is what families do, Edward. We help each other out. You don't have to do
everything by yourself." That was the same thing Esme said last night when she and
Carlisle came over to take my Penny out for some ice cream.
"Now come on, I thoroughly enjoy dance class," I lied. "The weekends are my only
real time with her, you know." That was the truth. "And don't you have your own
child to take care of?"
"Jackson is spending time with his grandparents. Taking Faith to dance class will
help me prepare for this little one." She patted her round belly. Alice was due in a
couple of months. They knew it was going to be a girl.
Penny clung to Alice's leg. "I want Aunt Alice to watch me dance."
"I do have some work things to take care of that I was going to squeeze in when
she took her nap."
"Well, now you can squeeze it in while she's at dance," Alice said to me before
patting my daughter's head. "Say goodbye to Daddy, Faith."
"Bye!" She let go of Alice and ran to me with her arms raised so I could lift her up.
"I love you, Daddy."
I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek before setting her back down. "I love
- 22 -
you more. Be good for Aunt Alice."
She slipped her little hand in her aunt's, and they headed for the door. Penny
looked over her shoulder at me and waved goodbye. I wiggled my fingers at her. She
was getting so big. She wasn't a baby anymore. I still wasn't ready for that. Of
course, when it came to Faith, I was never ready for anything. Raising a child was
definitely not something they taught me at MIT.
I walked back to my office, rubbing my tired eyes.
"You need me to stick around?" Tyler stood outside the door.
"You don't need to hang around unless you want to," I replied, walking past him
and into the office.
"Emmett's going to be here soon, right?"
My eyes couldn't help but fall on the picture of Isabella that sat in a frame on my
desk as I sat down. It was a picture of her on our wedding day. The woman who had
witness our marriage had taken a few pictures. This one was my favorite. Isabella
clutched a small bouquet of flowers in her hands, which were pressed to her chest.
She wore that smile that said, "I can't believe you made me get married without any
panties on." She loved it, who was she kidding?
"Em should be here for lunch. Go. You can come back tonight."
"I don't want to intrude."
I cocked my head and gave him a look that conveyed my annoyance.
He smiled and gave a quick nod. "I'll come back tonight then, sir."
"Good."
It was still so formal between the two of us. He never crossed that line with me.
He was Isabella's friend, my employee. Even after everything that had happened, we
still maintained a safe emotional distance. It was easier that way.
I shook my head and set to task. Masen Corporation had been hired by the US
Government to create a Trojan Horse that would allow them to infiltrate the
computers of known terrorists groups. It was the company's biggest and most
challenging project yet. I was personally involved in all levels. It was consuming
- 23 -
mass amounts of my time, causing me to spend more time at the office than I cared
to spend. Yet, I believed that I could create a program that would be completely
undetectable. I was close. So close.
I sent a couple emails and talked to Peter about some of the ideas I had about our
latest attempt. My eyes fell back on the picture of Isabella. I missed her. I missed
her in a way that seemed unimaginable. I ran my finger down her glass-covered
face. I wanted to touch her again, more than I wanted anything else.
"I can't believe you're working on this today," Peter said over the speaker phone.
"My sister took Faith to dance class. She gave me an hour or so to get things
done."
"I just thought you were juggling too many things today."
"Peter, I run a multi-billion dollar company. My management skills are strong."
"I wasn't doubting your ability to manage things." He laughed. "Just thought work
would be the last thing on your mind."
"I can always find time to squeeze in some work. That's why Masen Corporation is
what it is."
He chuckled again. "We'll see about that."
"Get busy on that code. I'll call you on Monday," I said, pressing the button to
hang up the call before he could say anything else. He had no idea what he was
talking about.
Isabella used to get so annoyed with my ability to squeeze in work when I was
home. I looked at her picture again.
"You said tonight you were all mine. This is not you being all mine," she whispered
while I tried to finish my phone call.
I held up a finger, trying to communicate that I only needed one...or two more
minutes. "I heard what you said, Tanya. I understand that things are more
complicated than I would like. That doesn't mean it can't be done."
"Edward, you're asking for something that can't be done in the time frame you're
demanding," Tanya huffed.
- 24 -
"I think if everyone does their job, it can easily be accomplished within my time
frame."
Isabella sat forward and leaned on my desk. "I think that if you don't get off the
phone, the only thing that's going to get accomplished is me going to bed. Alone."
I narrowed my eyes at her and pressed the mute button on my phone as Tanya
made a bunch of excuses why her group would not be able to meet my deadline.
"Isabella, I need two minutes. Can you stop with the dramatics?"
"Dramatics? You want dramatics?" She stood up and headed for the door.
"Stop!" I shouted. Surprisingly, she listened but didn't turn around. "Sit down and
give me two damn minutes. I'm sorry. If I don't handle this, the project is not going
to get completed on time. Two minutes."
My wife turned around slowly, her eyes trained on me. "Two minutes, Edward.
That's it." She sat back down, legs and arms crossed in anger. She was beautiful
even when she was mad. Sometimes, I liked to get her mad just to see her like this.
I hit the mute button again so Tanya could hear me. We discussed her concerns
and tried to problem solve them. Two minutes passed, and I was still on the phone.
Isabella began to mock me quietly from the other side of the desk. "Oh, Isabella. I
want a baby. I want a baby more than anything. Please. Please don't get your shots.
We'll try for a couple months and see what happens."
She had obliged me and not gotten her birth control shots. Now, according to the
books and the calendar, the next couple days were the best time during her cycle to
get pregnant. I had promised her my full and undivided attention. I was
unfortunately not fulfilling my end of the bargain.
She was staring daggers at me. I tried to mouth I was sorry and needed one more
minute. If I didn't hurry up, she was going to go to bed and promptly fall asleep to
spite me.
"I can put someone else on this if that's what you need, Tanya, but I thought you
wanted this."
"I do. I want this!" Tanya professed. "I am doing everything I can to make this
work, I just need a little more time."
- 25 -
"I don't have any more time to give you," I replied, watching my wife stand up
again. "Sit down." I pointed back at the chair Isabella had vacated.
"Excuse me?" Tanya said, thinking I was talking to her.
I thought Isabella was planning to leave; but instead, she reached under her skirt
and began tugging her panties down her legs. That was more than unexpected.
"Not you," I said into the phone, unable to take my eyes off the show going on in
front of me.
Isabella stepped out of her white lace panties and then threw them on my desk.
They landed on the picture of her. She pushed the chair back, away from my desk
and sat back down. From there, I had a perfect view of her entire body. She crossed
her legs and taunted me with an arched brow. I knew what she was doing, what she
was going to do. Ever so slowly, she uncrossed her legs like Sharon Stone in Basic
Instinct. My eyes widened as she allowed me a perfect view of the most perfect
pussy I had ever seen. She started unbuttoning her blouse but stopped when I could
just barely see the matching lace of her bra. My mouth hung open, my eyes were
wide, begging her to keep going.
"Edward? Edward?" Tanya's voice invaded my very occupied mind.
"I'm going to have to let you go."
Isabella smiled and her fingers started working the rest of her buttons.
I hung up on an extremely confused Tanya. "You're evil. You know that, right?"
"You're the one who made the promises. If I had a nickel..." she teased, opening
her shirt all the way so I could see those pretty breasts in that very innocent-looking
bra. My wife was anything but innocent. I had turned her into a sexy little tease
obviously.
I stood up from my chair and made my way around my desk, sitting on the other
side. I enjoyed watching her. "If Masen Corporation goes bankrupt, we'll have no
way to support this child we're planning on making. How will you live with
yourself?"
She smirked and slipped out of her shirt entirely. "Something tells me Masen Corp
is going to be just fine."
- 26 -
I folded my arms across my chest. I wanted to touch her, but this was a game and
I wanted to play. She reached behind her and unhooked her bra. The straps began
to fall down her shoulders, but she held the front of it against her chest so I couldn't
see what I wanted to see. I decided to join in and unbuckled my belt. I pulled it
through the belt loops and folded the black leather belt in half, lightly striking it
against my palm.
"I would probably have to spank you if you caused any harm to my company, Mrs.
Masen."
She rolled her eyes and stood up. She was not the least bit afraid of me. "You
come anywhere near me with that belt and your precious little company is the only
thing you'll have to keep you warm at night, Mr. Masen."
We couldn't have that. I set it on the desk and finished removing my pants. She
moved towards me like a stalking predator. I loved the confidence she exuded. I
loved that she knew she had me. I loved that she never doubted I would do anything
she wanted. I loved her. I loved her completely.
She stood before me as I began loosening my tie. Her arms fell to her sides,
bringing the bra down with them. I had to touch her. There was no resisting. I
palmed both of her breasts and leaned in to kiss her lips. She was in no mood to
resist either. She went to work on my tie and shirt, while I molested her
shamelessly.
"Trying to make babies is going to be my favorite pastime. I can tell," I said in
between kisses. She got my shirt off and let it fall to the floor. I stopped groping her
long enough to push some things aside on my desk, so I could lay her down on it.
Being inside her was my only objective. I pushed her legs apart and went to work on
creating my heir.
"I'm kind of hoping it takes a few months." She smiled up at me as I watched
myself going in and out.
I ran a hand over her belly, imagining it big and round someday. Isabella was
destined to be a wonderful mother. She was going to teach me how to be a good
parent. We were going to learn together. We would get through the hard times,
celebrate the joys, and deal with all the in between together because together we
could do anything.
"I've always been an overachiever, Isabella. You'll most likely be pregnant with
twins before the day is over."
- 27 -
She giggled and her laughter made me happy. It also made muscles deep inside
her contract, making it difficult for attempt number one to last longer than two
minutes.
"I love you," she confessed with her eyes locked on mine.
"I love you, too. So damn much." It was the absolute truth. I felt so much love for
her, it was almost a separate entity. It was like a real and tangible thing that I could
touch, taste, and see. I came hard deep within her, and I knew. I knew we had made
a baby because something had to be created out of the kind of love Isabella and I
shared. It was too powerful, too big to be denied.
"Who left the bathroom door open?" Charlotte yelled from somewhere else in the
house. I sighed, knowing that there was only one reason she would be asking that
question. Cupcake had struck again. I stood up and made my way to the door. I was
met by the devil dog herself. The toilet paper was hanging from her mouth, and she
looked at me like she was trying to determine how much more tissue she could run
through the house before I caught her and locked her in her damn cage. I cursed
myself for not thinking of locking her in there while my Penny was gone.
"Cupcake..." I approached her cautiously. She was a runner. I knew it. She knew I
knew it. "Stay. Stay, pup." She stood still, her eyes locked on mine as I made my way
towards her. "Good girl." I was close. Too close. She took off, pulling the toilet paper
with her. I could see when I turned down the other hallway that she had practically
unraveled the entire roll. Charmin fluttered all over.
Charlotte was going to kill me even though it wasn't my fault. I had not left the
bathroom door open. I knew we needed to shut the door or the evil mutt would go in
there and do exactly this. It was probably Penny. Char should be mad at Penny, but I
knew she would hold it against me instead. No one in this house ever got mad at
that little girl.
I ripped the paper, so the stupid dog would run around with whatever was in her
mouth and not create a longer paper trail and began gathering up the mess.
"That was a brand new roll, too," Charlotte fussed. "She ran it all around the living
room and up and down the hall. Such a waste."
"I'll clean it up," I offered. I already had an armful of paper. "I'm sure it was Faith
who left the door open."
"One of these days, I'm going to say it's me or the dog."
- 28 -
"Please, do it," I begged. "Say it. You know she'll pick you. She'd be lost without
her Lala." I would give anything to be able to rid the house of that dog.
"Right." She frowned. "Like I'm going to be the bad guy. You bought the dog.
You're the one that needs to train it or get rid of it."
"When am I supposed to train it? I have no time. Soon, I'll have even less. Maybe I
can hire the dog whisperer to come and train it."
Charlotte looked at me like I was crazy. "You can hire all the dog whisperers you
want, but training a dog is about training yourself as well as the dog. She needs to
learn to obey you not a dog whisperer who doesn't live here."
"Maybe I can get someone to live here. A live-in dog handler." I sounded desperate
because I was.
Charlotte shook her head and returned to the kitchen. She thought I was losing it.
Maybe I was. I was not good at doing this all on my own. I was good at delegating. I
was good at managing and dictating. I was excellent at making sure everyone else
did what I asked them to do. I was not so good at doing everything by myself.
"Hello!" Emmett's voice boomed as he entered the house. I had collected all the
toilet paper when he found me. "Somebody left the bathroom door open again, huh?"
I glared at him and his astounding power of observation. "Throw this away in the
garage." I thrust the enormous pile of toilet paper into his chest. It amazed me that
a small roll could create such a large mess. Emmett let out a frustrated sigh but did
as I said.
I waited for him in the kitchen since he was here to have lunch. Charlotte already
had some things set out for us. She wasn't talking to me. She moved around the
room as if I was not there.
"Thank you for making lunch." I hoped an attempt at being polite would help her
forgive me more quickly. She harrumphed but handed me a freshly made lemonade
with a candied lemon wedge on the rim. She loved me. At least that's what I thought
until she handed one to Emmett when he came in to join me. Perhaps she loved us
both.
"So, Big Daddy, what's been going on? Where's Faith?" Emmett looked around the
kitchen as if my daughter might be hiding somewhere in the room.
- 29 -
"She's at dance class. My sister took her." I looked at my watch. They should have
been home by now. I had left my phone in the office. There was no reason to be
anxious, but I was overprotective. I tried to rein it in.
"Were you going to take a shower and get dressed today or what?"
I glanced down at myself. I was still in my T-shirt and pajama pants. Between
taking care of my daughter and doing some work, I had not left myself time to take
care of myself.
"I'll have to take one after lunch. You and Faith can play a game while I clean up."
Emmett found it entertaining that I was so unkempt. "Dude, you used to be the
guy who looked like a billion bucks morning, noon, and night. One little four-year old
sure has had her way with you." He poked at the syrup stain on my T-shirt.
I swatted his hand away. "You'll find out what it's like someday. Just wait."
Emmett's smile faded fast. I hadn't meant to darken his mood. Emmett and Rosalie
had broken up almost a year ago. He hadn't dated anyone seriously since then. He
had wanted to marry Rosalie, but she had other ideas. Ideas that included one that
took her to the other side of the country to manage a restaurant in New York City.
Em and I had spent a lot of time talking about choosing career over love. He was
heartbroken that she could walk away. He thought about asking her if he could go
with, but in some respects he chose his career over her as well. Although, I liked to
think he stayed because of our friendship and his love for my family more than his
job as my bodyguard. Emmett loved Penny. He was completely enamored by her the
moment he laid eyes on her. He couldn't bring himself to leave, figuring he and Rose
could do the long distance thing for a bit. Rosalie never asked him to follow her.
About six months after she left, she called him and told him she had met someone
else. I thought I had seen him heartbroken, but I was wrong. This last year had been
filled with several ups and downs. He'd been happier lately.
My Penny came skipping into the kitchen, lifting Emmett's and my spirits
immediately.
"Daddy, we got to do leaps over the Beanie Babies today! I was so good, Aunt
Alice bought me ice cream." She showed off her leaping skills by jumping right into
my arms.
My sister walked in with an apologetic look on her face.
- 30 -
"Well, I hope you saved room for lunch," I said, glaring at Alice. And they all say I
spoil the child.
"She totally did." Alice greeted Emmett with a kiss on the cheek and a good to see
you. "We shared a sundae. I'm a pregnant woman, so you know I ate most of it."
"That's not fair. I was going to take you out for ice cream after lunch," Emmett
said, tickling my daughter's leotard-covered belly.
"Her grandparents took her last night. No more ice cream for this one. She's
going to turn into ice cream if you people aren't careful," I told them.
"I can't turn into ice cream, Daddy! Right, Lala?"
"Correct, little girls cannot turn into ice cream," Charlotte replied.
"Lala says, so it must be true."
"Lala's not always right, is she?"
My Penny nodded. "Always."
Charlotte was giving me the stink eye. I had forgotten I was still in the middle of
making amends.
"Of course Lala is always right. I don't think I can remember a time when she's
been wrong. She's very wise. We covered this fact this morning, didn't we?"
Charlotte nodded and smiled. I was winning her back.
"Are you joining us for lunch?" I asked my sister as Charlotte began filling a plate
for Penny.
She glanced at her watch. "I should head home. I can come back, though, right?"
I knew she was going to ask.
"I thought we agreed you would come over tomorrow. Don't you want to be with
Jasper tonight?"
"Please," she pleaded. Her eyes widened like that damn cat in those ogre movies I
watched with my Pennylove.
- 31 -
"Then Esme's going to want to come over..." I argued.
"I won't tell her. Please?"
"If she gets to come back, I'm staying," Emmett said with a mouthful of sandwich.
I narrowed my eyes at Alice. "See what you started?"
"I'm your sister. I love you. Please."
Penny sighed in my lap. "Just let her come back, Daddy. Sisters are very
important."
I bent my head and kissed her sweet little cheek. "Just let her come back, huh?" I
tickled her sides, making her wiggle.
"Stop! Daddy, stop!"
"Fine." I stop tickling my daughter and looked over at Alice, who was smiling and
getting teary-eyed. Must be her pregnancy hormones. "Sisters are important; and
you, my dear sister, can come back over tonight for a little bit."
She wiped under her eyes. "Walk me out?" She tipped her head towards the door.
I stood up and set Penny back down on my chair. "Don't let Uncle Emmett eat all
the food before I come back."
She giggled at Emmett, who puffed out his cheeks as he chewed. I walked Alice to
the front door.
"You're so good with her," she said, wrapping me a hug. "You have no idea how
happy it makes me to see you like that with her, to see how much you love her."
"She's my daughter. Of course I love her."
"Well, we both know being someone's child doesn't automatically grant you their
love or affection."
We did know that all too well. I was over that, though. My feelings about my
father and his lack of feelings for me had been put to rest. I was worthy of love and
very capable of giving it, too. Alice, next to Isabella, had been the one that worried
the most about how I would do with a child of my own, especially given the
- 32 -
circumstances. Sometimes I felt like she was surprised by how much I loved Penny. I
tried not to let that hurt my feelings because I had earned her doubt. I had earned
everyone's doubt with my behavior before and just after she was born.
"How long do you plan to punish her exactly?" Alice didn't bother with a hello as
she stormed into the condo.
"I'm not punishing her."
"She needs you right now and you're here, tantruming like a child."
I hadn't been home in two days. I hadn't slept in two days either. That was
probably contributing to my inability to have a rational conversation with my wife.
We had attempted twice over the phone to no avail. Both calls ended in me yelling
and her crying.
I walked back to the living room and returned to my spot on the sectional, near
the almost empty bottle of scotch. "She's choosing the baby over me."
Alice sat down next to me, her fury rolling off her in waves. "What? Do you hear
yourself? Don't do this. Don't be him."
"She could die, Alice! Don't any of you get that?" My voice filled the room as I
waved my arms around. No one was here except for me and my sister. Everyone was
with Isabella. Everyone was on her side. Even Emmett. "Doesn't anyone think that
it's stupid to bring a child into this world without a mother? What will you tell my
child when she asks why her mommy isn't there? Are you willing to be the one who
tells her she killed her mother?"
Alice closed her eyes and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly through her
nose. Her eyes opened, and I finally saw some fucking sympathy for my plight. "No
one is going to say that to your child because Bella is not going to die. Bella is
strong. You have advanced warning, the best doctors, the best facilities. Carlisle will
do whatever you need him to do. Nothing is going to happen to her. She and the
baby will come out of this just fine. You have to believe that, Edward."
"People die! People I care about die because of me!" I dropped my head into my
hands. "I wanted this baby. More than she did. I did this to her. I need to get rid of
it, so nothing happens. I need to stop this before..." I couldn't finish my sentence.
I felt Alice's arms wrap around me as best as she could manage while I sobbed.
- 33 -
When I quieted, she gave me a squeeze. "Getting rid of the life you created is not
the way to save her. She loves the baby. She loves you. The baby is part of both of
you."
"I feel nothing for this baby anymore," I confessed. "Nothing."
"I don't believe you. I think you're afraid, but you aren't Dad. You aren't."
This crisis had tossed me back into the dark hole I had spent so long clawing my
way out of since I had met Isabella. I didn't want to be my father, but for the very
first time in my life, I could almost understand him. I was steadfast in my belief that
if anything happened to Isabella, I would hate the baby who killed her. There was
nothing else I could feel.
I was so impossibly stubborn sometimes. It was a wonder anyone put up with me.
"I know what today is, by the way. Someone told me."
"Really?" I knew who told her. No wonder why she was so worried about me.
Alice put her hand on my arm. "I heard you go visit every year on this day, too."
"That's true. I plan to go before I-"
"I could come with you," she interrupted, dropping her hand. She made me smile.
Sometimes it was like she was the older sibling in this relationship. Always looking
out for me, always making sure I was taken care of by someone if not her. She was
there for me when no one else was.
"No. You can come here and help Charlotte with Penny," I offered. "And Emmett
since you're the reason he's going to stay." I laughed while she pouted for a
moment.
"I will see you later then," she said, patting my shoulder.
"Later." I kissed her cheek and opened the door for her.
I could hear Penny belly laughing in the kitchen. Emmett was surely keeping her
entertained. My little girl was constantly surrounded by love. I would see to it that
was always the case.
- 34 -
A/N: I don't own Twilight.
So, I guess you can all cross "shopping with Alice" off your scorecards.
Thanks to momof4luvntwisaga for her eye and her ear. It is not easy to put
this thing together and not give the whole damn thing away! You would all
love that, though, wouldn't ya? Not happening. That's what I got momof4
for. She won't let me slip!
I can't tell you how awesome you all are in reviewing this story. I am
completely blown away once again. Thank you for your support!
Thanks to Midnight Cougar for her review of FaN and OUaS on her blog
Rob Attack. She is so extremely flattering. Go check it out.
robattack(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2011/07/22/fanfiction-fridays-recs-s-8-and
-9/
Ramblings on my blog. Hopefully will do some review replies this time
around. Love you all. Until next week. Teaser wars forever. Jo and BDC are
the bomb.
- 35 -
Chapter 4
"Remember when we got to fly on the plane to Africa?" Penny asked, trying her
best to delay her nap.
"I sure do."
"It took so long." She sighed dramatically and hugged her stuffed bunny to her
chest.
"It sure did."
"Remember when you and me came back from Africa?"
"You and I. Yes, I remember."
"That took really long."
"Really, really long," I agreed.
"Remember when you and me got to sleep on the plane?"
"You and I slept on the plane," I corrected. "Yes, I remember that as well." She
acted as if this all happened a very long time ago. Perhaps to a four-year old a few
weeks was a long time.
"Can I sleep on the bed in the plane when we go see Grandma Renee and Grandpa
Phil in Florida?"
"If you're tired," I replied, wishing she would realize how tired she was now and
go to sleep.
"Can we bring Cupcake?" She looked up at me with those adorable brown eyes,
but I resisted their charm this time, though.
"I don't think so, sweetheart. Grandpa Phil is not a big fan of dogs, remember?"
"Yeah," she said sadly. "Lala will get lonely, too. Cupcake and Lala can take care
of each other when we go to Florida."
- 36 -
That was easier than I thought it was going to be. "Good idea, Pennylove. Now,
time to take a nap."
"I'm not tired," she protested with a yawn. I smiled. If I could get her to be quiet
for two minutes, she would be out like a light.
"I think you're a little tired. Just lay here with me for a couple minutes, okay?" I
threw my arm around her as we snuggled on her very pink double bed.
"Next time we go to Africa, can Aunt Alice come with her baby?"
"I don't know. Aunt Alice probably won't be going anywhere for a while after she
has the baby."
Penny's brow furrowed. "But babies can go on the plane, right?"
I laughed quietly. "Yes, honey, babies can go on planes."
"Good."
"Let's be quiet, okay?"
"Okay, Daddy."
I closed my eyes, knowing that if I pretended to be going to sleep, she would
follow for real. I could feel the rise and fall of her chest become slower.
Just when I thought it was safe to open my eyes, she spoke again. "Daddy?"
"What is it, baby?"
"Do you remember when I was a baby in Mommy's belly?"
My mouth felt dry and I wished I had something to swallow down the lump in my
throat. "Of course I remember."
"Was Mommy happy when I was in her belly?"
The pain in my chest was almost too much to bear. With great difficulty, I
managed to push the words out. "She was more than happy. She loved you the
second she knew you were in there."
- 37 -
"I'm sad Mommy can't have any more babies in her belly."
I had no idea how to respond to that. I was going to have to ask my sister what the
hell they talked about while they were together today. She could not have come up
with this stuff on her own.
"Let's get some sleep," I said, holding her tighter because the words I wished I
could say would not come out.
"Daddy?"
"What, honey?"
"I love you to infinity and beyond."
I pressed my lips in her hair. She made me want to cry. "I love to you to infinity
and beyond, too."
"Infinity times."
I tried my best to keep my voice steady. "Me, too."
"And then to Africa."
I kept quiet. She could go on forever if I answered her back. She was silent for a
whole minute.
"And then to China and then back here," she added.
"Go to sleep, Faith Elizabeth."
"Okay, Daddy."
I was tired and if she didn't fall asleep soon, I was going to. Emmett would love
that. It didn't take much more than two minutes, though. She fell into a peaceful
slumber and I was able to sneak out. I stopped to look at her from her doorway. Her
long wavy hair fanned out on her pillow. She clutched her bunny to her little chest.
Her little lips were slightly parted. My beautiful angel. I truly did not know what I
would do without her. Isabella had been so right.
I returned home from my self-imposed exile late one night. Charlotte informed me
my wife was already in bed. She also made it perfectly clear she was disappointed in
- 38 -
me. Not in my failure to return to Isabella's side the last couple days but in the lack
of faith I was showing in general.
"Without faith, you have nothing. Faith is what will carry the two of you through
and what will help Bella survive all of this," Charlotte said, giving me a hug. "Bella
will survive."
I had no faith but decided to keep that to myself. I wondered if Isabella would be
angry with me if I shared her bed before we actually made up. I quietly entered the
room. She was tucked into bed with her back to the door. She didn't stir. I shrugged
out of my suit coat and tossed it on one of the chairs that sat against the wall. I
loosened my tie and watched my angel sleep. I had missed her so much over the last
few days. It felt like much longer than three days. I stepped towards her and the
floor creaked under my step. The noise made her sit up.
"Edward?"
I whispered my words. "I didn't mean to wake you."
She slipped out of bed and, without reservation, came and wrapped her arms
around me. She hugged me and cried in my arms, breaking me completely in two.
"Shh, don't cry. Please don't cry, baby."
"I need you. I can't go through this alone." Isabella had no idea how much she
wounded me with her words. Did she not realize that was how I felt about life in
general? I could not live in a world in which she did not exist. I could not survive on
my own. I needed her. I needed her from now until the day I died. She could not die
first. She simply could not die first.
"I'm so scared," I admitted aloud.
She clung to me tighter. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm never the one who leaves,
remember?"
"What if this time you are?"
She let go of me and grabbed my hands. Placing them on the small belly bump
that was beginning to show, she held my face and looked me in the eye. "We made
this baby. She's ours to love and protect. There's going to come a day when you're
going to look at our daughter and realize you can't imagine not having her in your
life. She's a living part of you. I can't destroy a piece of you, Edward. I can't."
- 39 -
I closed my eyes. It didn't matter to me that the baby was part of me, but the more
I thought about it, the more it mattered that she was a part of Isabella. I could not
harm the baby anymore than I could bear to hurt the woman standing before me.
"Don't leave me," I begged.
"Never," she promised.
I found Emmett in the gameroom playing one of the video games. I plopped down
on the couch next to him. Immediately, I felt something jab me in the ass. I lifted up
and pulled out one of my Penny's stuffed animals. It's plastic eyes had been chewed
completely off.
"Fucking dog," I said, not holding back any of my frustration. Cupcake had this
demonic habit of gnawing off the eyeballs of unsuspecting stuffed animals and dolls
Penny left on the floor and then hid them around the house. It made them look
frightening if you asked me. Creepy-looking animals with no eyes. We all tried our
best to throw them out before my sweet girl came across them. The dog was going
to scar her for life.
"Why the hell did you buy that child a real dog? You are such a sucker." Emmett
thought this was all very funny.
"I thought she would take care of it."
He paused the game and turned to look at me. "She's four."
"Four-year-olds can be responsible," I defended.
"Responsible for what?" He went back to his game. "Little ones like Faith are
completely dependent on their parents. She's four, E."
He was right, but I was not going to tell him that. I watched him play for a few
minutes. I hadn't played a video game in what felt like years. His words started
sinking in. I began to worry.
"You think I'm messing her up?"
"Who? Faith?" Emmett chuckled.
"I spoil her on one hand and treat her like she should know more than she should
on the other."
- 40 -
Emmett stopped the game again. "I think you have a hard time remembering what
it's like to be four, but I don't think you ever make her feel bad."
"I should say no more often. I'm going to create a monster who doesn't know what
the word means."
He shook his head. "She's a good kid, E. Always has been. Plus, the rest of us do
know how to say no." He eyed me suspiciously. "Where's this coming from? You
couldn't possibly get this worked up over me giving you a hard time about the dog."
I scratched at my head with both hands. "I don't want to fail her."
"Faith?"
I frowned. "Faith." I let out a long breath. "Isabella. I don't know."
"You aren't failing anyone. Faith loves you. You're a good dad. You spoil her, but
she's a grounded little girl. She's way more like her mother than her father."
"She asked about being in her mother's belly today. She asked if Isabella was
happy when she was in there. Why would she ask that?"
"Because she was with her very pregnant aunt today," he replied without
hesitation.
"I worried she was going to ask me if I was happy when she was in her mother's
belly. I don't know what I would have said."
Emmett put his hand on my shoulder. "You would have told her you were very
happy. There was a time during the pregnancy you were the happiest guy in the
world."
He was right. Again.
"Your wife is on her way up," Maggie said through the intercom.
I pressed the button so she could hear me. "Thanks, Maggie."
I quickly finished typing the email I was in the middle of and hit send. I grabbed
my phone and texted Isabella, who was no doubt on the elevator up here.
Good news, I hope!
- 41 -
She didn't reply, but there was a knock on my door before I expected it.
"Come on in!"
She opened the door with her phone in hand. I couldn't read her. I thought that
she had come to tell me the good news face to face instead of over the phone. Now, I
worried she had come here to tell me she wasn't pregnant and needed a shoulder to
cry on. She did look like she was about to cry.
"Hey," I said, taking three long strides to where she stood. "This just means we
get another month of trying. More sex is never a bad thing, sweetheart." I wrapped
my arms around her and held her tightly. I could not stand to see her cry. It always
tore me apart.
"What if I told you I was sad because we don't need to try anymore?" she mumbled
into my chest.
I released her and gripped both her arms so I could pull back and see her. "We
don't need to try anymore?"
She bit her lip and tried to conceal a smile.
"You're pregnant?" I tried to keep from jumping up and down. This was exactly
what I had hoped for.
"You and your overachieving sperm have managed to impregnate me. It's true."
I pulled her back into my arms and lifted her right off the ground. We were going
to have a baby. Together we created life. There was nothing more life-affirming than
that thought. "We did it!" I wanted to spin her around, but she begged me to put her
back down.
"We can't tell anyone, yet. I don't want to spread the word until we're further
along."
"A hundred dollars says I am not the first person you told," I said, knowing her too
well.
She twisted her mouth and then let out a little huff. "Tyler met me at the elevator
just now. I didn't confirm anything, but I'm sure he knows. He asked how my
appointment went, which he could only know about because of you, Mr. Big Mouth,"
she said with a scowl. "I said, 'Fine,' but I'm sure he knew what that meant."
- 42 -
I couldn't help but laugh. It was our secret wedding all over.
"Only Charlotte and Tyler know you went for a test. No one else, I swear."
"Let's keep it that way," she replied in all seriousness. She pushed up on her toes
and kissed the corner of my mouth. Big mistake. I was not going to be able to stop
there. I pulled her against me and kissed her harder. We made a baby. Isabella was
carrying my child inside her. The feeling was indescribable. Isabella pulled back and
smiled. "I love you." Her hands held my face. Her thumbs stroked my cheeks. Her
heart warmed my soul.
"We made a baby." I needed to say it out loud to really appreciate it.
She giggled softly, making me smile bigger. She wrapped her arms around my
neck. "We did."
"Since it's not the flu, I'm moving back into the bedroom tonight. I think we should
celebrate by having crazy, we-made-a-baby sex all night long."
She smirked and raised a brow. "I do believe that plan has serious potential."
"Do you?" I snickered.
She gave me a quick peck on the lips. "It sure does, Big Daddy."
I lifted her up off the ground again, kissing her like a madman. Daddy. That was
going to take some getting used to.
Emmett squeezed my shoulder. "If Faith ever asks you about how you felt, you tell
her about the way you felt the moment you found out. That's my advice. She doesn't
need to know the rest."
The rest was not as pretty. The rest was far from the joy I felt the day Isabella told
me she was pregnant. A series of moments from the day we learned about Isabella's
heart played out in my memory.
Maggie didn't even bother knocking. She flung my door open. I was ready to yell
at her since I had made it clear that I was not to be disturbed. The look on her face
made me pause, however.
"Line One, sir. It's someone from Mrs. Masen's school."
- 43 -
I snatched up my phone and pressed the blinking button. "Edward Masen."
"Mr. Masen, this is Deborah, the school nurse here at Woodinville High."
"My wife, is there something wrong with my wife?" I felt my chest constrict,
making it hard to breathe. My wife and baby. Please don't let anything be wrong
with the baby.
"Bella was brought down here because she was complaining of some chest pain
and difficulty breathing. She got a little lightheaded and we had her lie down for a
bit. When I checked her pulse, I noticed she definitely has an irregular heartbeat. I
suggested she see someone immediately, but I don't think it's safe for her to drive.
She's giving me a little bit of a hard time about that. You are her emergency contact
and...well, I think this is an emergency, even if she doesn't. Perhaps you could come
get her?"
My words came out in a rush. "I'm on my way; tell her not to move until I get
there!"
I was in my car before Emmett could ask me what's wrong.
…...
Bella's knee bounced anxiously as she assaulted her thumbnail with her teeth. "I
feel bad that you left work for this. I could have driven myself. Now we have to go
back to school and get my c-"
"Would you please stop it!" My patience was wearing thin. We were sitting in the
waiting room of her OB-GYN, and she hadn't stopped fretting over the fact that I
was there with her since I had picked her up at school. I lowered my voice so only
she could hear me. "I will have Emmett or Liam or someone pick up the car. Would
you stop worrying about things other than you and the baby, please?"
She nodded and began to wring her hands in her lap. I gently pried one away and
held it between my own. We were going to be fine. She was going to be fine. This
was nothing.
…...
"Hmm." That was all the doctor had said since he began the exam. He pressed the
stethoscope against her chest and listened one more time. He pulled the earpieces
out and let it hang around his neck. After jotting some things on Isabella's chart, he
- 44 -
finally said something meaningful, "Blood pressure is up. You've been experiencing
the heart palpitations for a while, which concerns me. I think the difficulty breathing
is from some fluid in your lungs."
I learned today, some of her symptoms had been going on for about a week. A
week and she hadn't said anything to me about it. I was furious.
"I'm going to send you over to Harborview. Have them run a couple test. Just to
rule some things out."
"What kind of tests?" I asked before Isabella could open her mouth to speak.
"We should check on her heart first and then we'll see."
We'll see. I wasn't clear what that meant, but I didn't like it. I didn't like any of it.
…...
"He's the best cardiologist in the entire state," Carlisle informed me over the
phone.
"He's making us wait." We were in another doctor's office, waiting. I was sick of
waiting. My wife had some sort of arrhythmia and shortness of breath, something
was wrong. It was pissing me off that they were not telling us what the problem was.
"Patience, son. It's going to be all right. I'll come down as soon as I can."
Isabella grabbed and squeezed my hand. Guilt weighed me down like an anchor in
my stomach. I should have been the one comforting her, not the other way around.
Instead, I was a basketcase. A sweating, nervous wreck.
"Carlisle says it's going to be all right. He'll be down soon," I said as confidently as
I could muster.
She smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder. "I told you that you've been
worrying for nothing."
Nothing. This was nothing. Pregnancy caused all sorts of things to happen to a
woman's body. She was going to be fine. I rubbed the back of my neck and tried to
ignore the way my lungs were beginning to burn with every inhale and exhale.
…...
- 45 -
"Mitral stenosis." The cardiologist looked at us like we knew what that meant.
Eventually, he went on to explain what it was, how she probably got it, why she had
no symptoms until she was pregnant. He explained that they would start her on a
medication regimen.
"What are the risks? The pregnancy caused the symptoms to present themselves.
What are the risks of continuing the pregnancy?"
"Edward," Isabella's hand gripped my forearm. There were tears in her eyes. For
herself? For me? For the baby? Probably all three.
The doctor understood my concern. "All women with mitral stenosis are at risk of
heart problems during pregnancy. There is a higher rate of complications during
pregnancy the more severe the case. Mrs. Masen's is not the worst I've seen, but it's
not best. Heart failure, stroke, rhythm problems are all possible complications.
There's not a huge possibility but a possibility she could experience some of those
complications."
Heart failure? Death. She could die. My vision began to narrow and the sweat was
beading on my forehead.
"There are some medications I'm going to prescri-"
"She could go into heart failure and die because of this disease and the baby?" I
interrupted. I could feel my own heart hammering in my chest.
"There is an increased risk of that happening, yes, but-"
"She's sixteen weeks, is it still possible to terminate the pregnancy?"
"Edward!" Isabella blanched and her grip on my arm was like a vice.
"Mr. Masen, I understand your concern, but many patients with this disease have
very uneventful pregnancies and deliveries. Both mother and child come out of it
just fine."
It was becoming impossible to breathe. The walls were closing in on me. "But
some die? Correct?"
"Her risk is slightly higher than most," he concurred. "But, truthfully, I would say
the odds are in your favor."
- 46 -
"I need to find Carlisle." I stood up and avoided looking at Isabella. I couldn't look
at her, knowing I had done this to her. The baby I put inside her could stop her heart
from beating.
I left with Emmett following me into the hall. It had been a very long time since I
had experienced a full-on anxiety attack. I had almost forgotten what they were like.
This one was fucking me up. I was a sweating, out of breath, claustrophobe. Thank
God for Emmett. He knew what was happening and did his best to talk me through
it. He probably kept me from having my own heart attack.
…...
"We'll look at the baby, make sure everything is all right in there, and then you
two should head home and get some rest." Carlisle had been trying desperately to
reassure me that everything was going to be fine since he found me in the hallway
with Emmett mid-panic attack. He took me back to talk to Isabella and the
cardiologist and then snuck us in for a 3D ultrasound at Isabella's request.
Isabella couldn't stop the tears from falling. It became clear her tears were for the
baby, not herself. Carlisle held her hand as the technician prepped her for the
ultrasound. I was no longer experiencing a paralysing anxiety attack, but I was still
against having this baby.
"There are the legs and feet," the technician said, pointing to the screen. "Baby
looks good. See the face. There's a really good profile shot."
"Beautiful," Carlisle said to Isabella. "They didn't have this kind of technology
when I was in medical school. This is amazing. Look, you can see the whole face.
Wow. The baby appears to have your chin, Edward."
I knew what he was doing. He was trying to get me to look. Trying to make it
sound interesting. I didn't care about the ultrasound. I cared about my wife and her
heart. Could this machine fix her heart? Could any machine fix her heart? Would the
medications the doctor provided really do the trick?
"Did you want to know if it's a boy or girl? Baby is giving us a clear shot here."
The technician looked to Isabella first, then to me.
"Edward?" Isabella looked over at me as I paced back and forth beside them all in
the small exam room.
She was breaking my heart. Did she not care? If she didn't care about her own
- 47 -
heart, could she at least care about mine?
"It doesn't matter, does it?" I quipped.
Fat, round tears fell down her face, wetting her cheeks and eyelashes and making
her nose begin to run. "It matters to me."
"Well then, let's find out, shall we?" I said gruffly, earning me a nasty look from
my uncle.
The tension in the room was suffocating more than just me. The technician
nervously exchanged a look with Carlisle, who nodded for her to proceed. She
eventually told us it appeared to be a girl and a healthy one at that. I didn't care. I
found no happiness in the news that I was having a healthy daughter. I only wanted
a healthy wife.
Emmett stood in the corner and had stayed quiet, knowing I needed someone who
listened and didn't tell me everything was going to be fine when we didn't know if
anything would ever be fine again.
"A girl. I knew it was a girl," Isabella whispered.
A girl who could quite possibly be the death of her.
"She can never know."
"I'm not telling," Emmett said confidently. "No one is ever going to say anything to
that little girl. And it doesn't matter, E. What matters is today. Today you love her
more than you ever imagined. Come on." He gripped my shoulder. "We've been over
this. You can't change the past, you don't control the future. You live in today."
My head fell back on the couch. "I know. I forget sometimes. The past loves to
drag me back. Today is one of those days that makes me focus on some of the darker
days, you know?"
Emmett frowned. "I know. That's why I'm staying." He knew the significance of
this particular day. "I can drive you. If you want."
I shook my head. "Nah. I want to go by myself. You hate cemeteries anyway."
"That I do, but I would go if you wanted me to."
- 48 -
I smiled at his kindness. I would never understand why I was so fortunate to be
surrounded by so much of it. "I know you would, but I'm all right to do this on my
own."
"I get it." He always got it. Emmett got me. He had no idea how much that meant.
A/N: I don't own Twilight.
Big thanks to momof4 for keeping this on the straight and narrow. Like I
said last week, never easy to know what to say and what not to say. She's
also the one who did a crapload of research on mitral stenosis. I will say I've
read a lot about it, but I'm not a cardiologist. If you are, cut me some slack
because I'm sure I'm gonna be making some stuff up here in the near
future. This is a work of fiction. I'm doing the best I can!
Big love to everyone in the Nothin' but Trouble Facebook group. You guys
make writing this so much fun. Hello to all of those who follow me on
Twitter as well. Thanks to everyone who is recc'ing and reviewing this story.
You guys are blowing me away with the response. The theories are killing
me. Some of you are freaking me out a little. I had to go back and read the
last chapter to see if I said things because you were coming up with stuff I
hadn't even thought of! I did not mention cemeteries in the last chapter, but
man if you all didn't assume that was where he was going. Guess it wasn't
much of a surprise to hear him say it this week. Some of you have figured
out what is going on here and I am floored. Make me wonder how secure
Google docs really is...
I replied to all the reviews last chapter unless you didn't sign in when you
reviewed or you have your PM's turned off. FF changed the way the review
replies work now. Instead of sending you an email, it is sent through the
private messaging system. So, I can't reply if you have that disabled.
FictionFreak95 - I'm talking to you, guess I have to bother you on FB some
more.
Speaking of Facebook - FictionFreak95 and BellaDonnaCullen and I wrote
this crazy little mash up of our three Work In Progress stories. It made us
laugh to write, hopefully will make some laugh to read. You can find it in all
three of our groups over there. I'll have to try to talk them into letting me
post it over here sometime. Teasers wars still going strong. WPoF and FIP -
thanks for keeping me sane in our drama-filled playland.
- 49 -
Ramblings on the blog and Wednesday teasers over there as well :)
So, now you know where his first stop is tonight. Where is his second stop?
Now that you know what's wrong with her, what do you think happens? Your
theories always intrigue me!
Have a great weekend! XOXO, TF
- 50 -
Chapter 5
"If this makes that animal sick, you are taking her home with you." I watched as
Emmett shot another marshmallow into the yard.
"She's not going to get sick," he asserted. "You know, if you exercised the dog
more, she wouldn't be so wound up in the house all the time. Dogs need to run off
their excess energy." He aimed his marshmallow shooter a little bit away from
where Cupcake was running to find another "bullet".
We were standing on the rooftop patio, looking down at the estate. The horses
were out, and I thought about how I needed to take Penny down there to feed them
some apples after her nap. The little white devil dog was sprinting towards her next
snack. There were some landscapers working around Tyler and Terry's house.
Isabella's flower garden was looking quite colorful for this time of year. The
groundskeeper was doing an excellent job.
"This thing shoots better than that last one we had," Emmett noted as he shot
again. He was sometimes more like a child than a grown man. It was Isabella who
once said he would be one of the reasons I would be a good father. If I could figure
out how to play with Emmett, my own children would be no problem. I thought I did
a good job of playing with Penny. I wasn't so good when she wanted to play with her
dolls, but I was an excellent guest at tea parties. I was also very good at hide and
seek - both the hiding and the seeking. Just the other day, I beat Lala and Penny at
Old Maid. I had the playful Daddy thing down.
Emmett was reloading his shooter, his huge fingers looked comical trying to place
mini marshmallows into the small tube. I would have had no idea how to work many
of the toys I owned was it not for Emmett. My mother played with me and Alice
when we were young, but we were never allowed to have many toys other than what
we had in our bedrooms. My father wouldn't tolerate the mess or the clutter
anywhere else in the house. I never realized how much I missed out on until Penny
came along. She would never miss out on anything.
I began to spout my thoughts aloud. "My father never did anything with me. Never
showed me how to play ball or how to tie my tie. He never once came to piano
recital or a little league game. He really was a dick," I said, turning and leaning
against the wrought iron and brick.
Em's eyes met mine quickly as he continued working on his shooter. "Total dick
- 51 -
based on what you've told me. Good thing you have chosen to enjoy your children."
I moved over to one of the patio chairs and sat down. My head fell back and I
looked up at the sky. I pulled my phone from my pocket to check the time.
Two-thirty. Time seemed to be dragging today. It was probably because I wanted it
to go faster so badly. Two more hours. I could make it through two more hours.
"I wonder what my mother ever saw in my father. He didn't seem to have one
single redeeming quality that I can put my finger on."
"Some women have the ability to see good in the darkest places."
I knew that. I married a woman like that. Isabella. Isabella. Isabella. I closed my
eyes and let myself get lost in her for a moment. Thinking about her was preferable
over thinking about my father.
Her smile. Completely disarming. Enchanting even. One smile and my day
improved exponentially.
Her laugh. More beautiful than her smile. Sexy, although she would disagree.
Adorable when she would try to stop it by covering her mouth with her hand. That
never worked.
Kissing her. The one thing I missed more than anything. I could kiss her all day if I
was allowed. Her lips, her cheek, her neck, that spot at the base of her throat, the
inside of her elbow, her inner thigh.
Her inner thigh. God, her inner thigh was so damn soft. It was definitely my
favorite part of her body.
I opened my eyes and made sure Emmett wasn't looking at me. He was thankfully
too busy making my stupid dog chase marshmallows. I discreetly shifted things
around in my button fly jeans. I was going to excite myself in embarrassing ways if I
wasn't careful.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back again. I really needed to start
meditating again. I needed a quiet mind, some stress relief. And who didn't want to
find some inner peace? I could really use some fucking inner peace today. I chuckled
at my own musings.
I remembered times I sat on this very patio, meditating, relaxing, centering
myself. I had only attempted meditating with Isabella once. We sat on yoga mats,
- 52 -
facing one another. She held my hands as I closed my eyes. We managed to stay that
way for about five minutes before she starting giggling.
"The objective is to stay quiet and clear your mind."
"I know, but you have no idea how cute you are when you do this. Your face looks
so relaxed and the corners of your mouth turn up ever so slightly like this really
does make you happy. Staring at your lips makes me think about how much I love
everything about them. Next thing I know, I'm thinking all kinds of dirty thoughts.
Dirty thoughts make me giggle. I can't help it."
I opened my eyes. Her hair was up in a ponytail and the tank top she was wearing
dipped very low. The tops of her beautiful breasts were just begging to be touched.
Dirty thoughts, indeed. I focused my eyes back on hers.
"You're supposed to close your eyes not watch me."
"I like watching you."
"You're making it difficult for me to find my inner peace."
"You are my inner peace."
I loved her so fucking much. "Close your eyes, Isabella, and be quiet."
I closed my eyes after she closed hers. A few seconds ticked by and I felt her lips
on mine. I opened one eye to find her trying very hard not to laugh.
"Sorry," she tried to say seriously. "I just love your lips. Even when my eyes are
closed."
"You love being a distraction, that's what I think, Miss Swan," I said, getting up on
my knees and pushing her down on her back. I kissed her lips and then down her
neck. I kissed down to those breasts as she hummed in appreciation.
"Meditation, outdoor sex, both will accomplish inner peace. I promise." She
slipped her hands under my shirt and ran them up my chest.
I kissed her hungrily. "Inner peace or in your piece?" I wondered aloud, making
her giggle again. Her presence was both calming and unbelievably arousing at the
same time.
- 53 -
"Tomato, tamato," she replied in between heated kisses and playful nibbles.
I couldn't get her clothes off fast enough. The morning air was cool, but our
tangled bodies were all the heat we needed. There was nothing more beautiful than
Isabella naked in the sunlight. Her skin practically glowed like she was some sort of
celestial being. My angel.
My eyes shot open. I scrubbed my face before checking to see where Emmett had
gone. He had moved to the far corner of the patio. He was reloading the
marshmallow shooter again.
I missed her so damn much. I pulled out my phone. A whole ten minutes had
passed. This day could not go on forever, I reassured myself.
"Cupcake's doing a bang up job of keeping the squirrels away," Emmett informed
me.
"You and that dog are perfect for one another. Why don't you tell Faith you want
to take Cupcake home with you? She'll let you if you make it sound like you're real
lonely."
"I'm not that lonely."
"Oh yeah? Is there something I should know about? Or someone I should know
about?"
Emmett pointed the fully loaded marshmallow shooter at me. "I didn't say there
was anyone, just that I wasn't lonely enough to take the dog you should never have
bought in the first place."
"I wouldn't point that thing at me."
"Oh really? You're afraid of some little marshmallows, E?"
I raised one eyebrow in warning. "If even one marshmallow hits me, you will be
terminated."
Emmett let out a laugh that shook his whole body. "How many times have I heard
that one? You are so not scary." He began pelting me with the entire barrel of
marshmallows.
Fucker.
- 54 -
I jumped up and ran into the solarium, making my way into the library where I
was greeted by Charlotte and a sleepy looking little one.
"Someone's nap is over. She wanted her daddy," Charlotte informed me as my
Pennylove ran to me.
I snatched her up in my arms and she wrapped her arms and legs around me like
a monkey. Kissing the side of her head, I gave her a big squeeze. "I thought you
would sleep longer after all that leaping you did at dance today."
"Why do you have marshies in your hair, Daddy?" She lifted her head off my
shoulder and pulled a marshmallow off the top of my head.
"Uncle Emmett wants to start a war. Whose side are you going to be on?" I asked,
giving her little tummy a tickle.
She giggled and wiggled in my arms. Never was there a sweeter sound. "Your
side. Let's get him!"
Masen, she was all Masen sometimes.
"Faith! How could you side with big bad Daddy instead of me?" Emmett protested.
"He was trying to make me hit Cupcake with the marshmallows!"
"Liar!" I laughed. I couldn't believe he'd stoop so low as to lie.
"Daddy loves Cupcake!" Penny shouted in my defense. At least she believed what
she was saying was true.
"Grab the reading pillows!" I carried her over to our reading spot in the library.
There were dozens of pillows for lounging on in Faith's little corner. We armed
ourselves with pillows after I set her on her feet. We both chased Emmett around
the room. He had no more marshmallows and was never going to get a chance to
reload without being pummeled by us. Running was his only option.
"Go that way, baby. We'll trap him," I said, pointing around the piano.
"Faith, please! Have mercy!" Emmett pleaded. My daughter was kind but not
merciful when it came to pillow fighting. She whacked him with her unicorn pillow
and he went down.
I, too, had no mercy. Once he was down, I felt quite justified in beating the shit
- 55 -
out of him with the extra large floor pillow I had chosen from the pile.
"Say the Masens rule," Penny demanded, hitting him on his covered head
repeatedly.
"Masens rule! Masens rule! I surrender!" Emmett was smarter than he looked. My
Penny stopped her assault while I had to get one more hit before I could feel good
about it all.
"Are you okay?" She patted him gently on the one of the arms he was using to
cover his head.
"I'm all good, Princess." He sat up and shot me a look, letting me know he was
displeased with my...overzealous retaliation. I shrugged. He started it.
Penny climbed into his lap and gave him a hug. She really was an equal amount of
me and Isabella wrapped up in one little person. "We love you, Uncle Emmy, right
Daddy?"
"You love him. I tolerate him. Let's not forget he started this war, Pennylove." I
picked up the pillows and returned them to Faith's reading corner. She had a
comfortable little area with her books on the lower shelves. We spent a lot of time
up here reading, playing piano and board games; it was also where she loved to hold
her tea parties.
"Did you know me when I was in Mommy's belly?" I heard her ask Emmett,
freezing me in my spot.
"I sure did. I knew your mom and dad before you were in your mommy's belly.
Your dad is my best friend, remember?"
"Aunt Alice is gonna go to the hospital to have her baby. The one where Grandpa
works."
"That's cool," Emmett responded casually. I couldn't help but fear where this
conversation was headed.
"Did I get born at Grandpa's hospital?"
My back stiffened. I could feel the tension in my neck and shoulders. I did not
want to think about Faith's birth. I certainly did not want to have this conversation
with her and Emmett.
- 56 -
"You sure were. That made you super special. They took extra good care of you
because you were Dr. Cullen's granddaughter." Emmett tickled her belly.
"How do you know? Did you see me at the hospital?"
"Of course I did," Emmett said enthusiastically. "I couldn't wait to see you. We
were all totally excited about your arrival."
Excited. Anxious. Completely terrified. Those were the same thing, correct?
"Did I cry right away? Aunt Alice says babies cry when they get born."
This question caused Emmett to pause. He looked at me, knowing I was the only
one who could answer that question. "She cried. Right, Big Daddy?"
Faith's birth was somewhat of a blur in my memory. Too many emotions had
overwhelmed me, making certain details fuzzy. I nodded, not sure if I was telling the
truth. She probably cried. My focus had not been on the baby in the room, however.
It was completely on the woman giving birth. The woman whose heart rate
skyrocketed followed by a rapid drop in blood pressure.
"Her heart rate is increasing," someone called out. There were so many doctors
and nurses in the room. I wanted them all here, but it was distracting when I was
trying to focus on Isabella.
"Come on, Bella. One more push and this baby will be out," her obstetrician said.
I wanted nothing more than for this to be over. I wanted this baby out of her, so
they could fix her heart and make her all better. The last couple weeks had not been
good, physically or emotionally. We had known weeks 32 through 34 would be the
hardest on her heart. I had read enough medical journals and spoken to the
cardiologist enough that I felt like an expert on pregnancy and heart disease. I had
been pushing for her to have the valve replaced during the pregnancy. It was very
common to have the surgery when the other treatments didn't control the failure.
Isabella's symptoms were inconsistent, though. She opted not to have the surgery. I
prayed I would not live to regret that decision and that she would just...live.
Today, her water broke late in the morning and the contractions came on strong
after that. She was 36 weeks. The baby was going to be small. Premature and small
because her mother had heart disease. She was going to need special treatment and
it was all Isabella was worried about. She wanted the neonatal team in the room.
She was finally learning to be a demanding Masen.
- 57 -
Isabella gripped my hand so tightly, I thought she was going to break it. She
pushed and let out a feral grunt while doing it. Her breathing was labored, more
labored than it should have been. I didn't need to be an expert to realize that was a
problem.
"That's good!" the obstetrician encouraged her.
My wife began coughing. She began coughing up blood. The machines started
beeping. The doctor monitoring her vitals took over. There was a nurse, trying to
pull my attention away from Isabella and towards the baby. I didn't want to deal
with the baby. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.
"Did Mommy cover her ears like this?" Penny covered her ears with her hands and
closed her eyes.
Emmett laughed. "I bet your mommy loved hearing you cry."
Faith dropped her hands and looked at Em like he was crazy. "I hate the sound of
babies crying. It's so loud."
I wanted to speak and tell her not to use the word hate, but I was choking on bad
memories.
"You sound like your dad. He doesn't like anyone being louder than him," he
teased me while he talked to Penny. "I bet he covered his ears."
"I bet Mommy gave Daddy the stink eye...like this." I could see her scrunch up her
nose and narrow her eyes.
I didn't want them to talk about this anymore. I couldn't even listen to it.
Emmett nodded and laughed at my daughter's silliness. He looked up at me and
could see that all the blood had drained from my face, the sickness I was feeling
because of their topic of conversation. "Hey, your dad tells me he's been teaching
you a new song on the piano. Can you show me?"
My Penny popped up and ran to the piano. "It's so silly! You'll like it."
I exchanged another look with Emmett, thanking him for the distraction. He
patted my shoulder when he walked by me on his way to the piano. "You know me
too well, Faith. Silly Uncle Emmy, that's me."
- 58 -
I needed to pull it together. Just thinking about the day she was born rendered me
useless. Every year on her birthday, I worked extra hard to focus on celebrating the
year that passed and not the anniversary of her birth. It was easier that way.
Shaking off the darkness, I turned to join them by the black Steinway grand piano
that sat in the middle of the room. Penny had climbed on the bench, her feet
dangled because she was too little to reach the pedals yet. She crossed her legs at
the ankles and placed the right sheet music where she could see it. I had taught her
a simple song that she picked it up quite quickly. I had to keep things simple
because her hands were so tiny. Her range was limited. She liked to play, though.
She loved to listen to me play even more.
She played and sang along, "In a place I..." She hit the wrong note and restarted.
"In a place I know a magician has a show. In a basket deep sits a cobra fast asleep."
Penny played and sang while Emmett arched his brow at me. When she finished,
we both clapped and she smiled proudly.
"You taught her to play 'There's a Place in France'?"
I jabbed him with my elbow. Of course he would know that version of the song.
"It's called 'The Snake Dance' and it has nothing to do with France or ladies
without...you know."
"Daddy, you play it your way. Please?" Penny scooted over so I could join her on
the bench.
I sat down and obliged her because there really was no saying no to her. I played
the song from memory. My fingers moved along the keys as I played a more
complicated version of the same song. My little one loved it when it seemed my
hands had a mind of their own. She clapped when I finished and begged for another
song.
"Do that one with all the cartoon songs and Mommy's lullaby mixed together," she
requested. "Please?"
Every so often, I would put together a little mash up of song for my Pennylove. It
was usually a mix of children's songs and some real classical tunes. The one she was
asking for also included the song I wrote for Isabella when she was pregnant.
"The baby loves her song," Isabella said from her spot near the fireplace.
- 59 -
I stopped playing for a second, looking over my shoulder at my pregnant wife. "I
wrote it for you." Not the baby. I would write nothing for that baby.
"Oh, please. You named it 'Isabella's Lullaby'. It's for me and your daughter and
you know it."
She wanted me to love this baby, but I didn't. I couldn't. Isabella was on nearly
bedrest. She had to take all these pills everyday so her heart wouldn't give out, but
they weren't without side effects. She had lost weight at the last checkup, which
made me and the doctor very unhappy. This baby was literally sucking the life out of
her.
Isabella got up and walked over to the piano. She sat next to me but faced away
from the piano. Her hand rested gently on my thigh as I continued playing the song.
"I read somewhere that music is good for the baby's brain development. I bet this
little girl will be as smart as her daddy," she said patting her stomach lovingly.
This was what she did to me. Constantly reminding me of ways this child would be
like me. I didn't want it to be like me. I didn't even want to think about it.
Isabella picked up on my inner conflict. "Why do you do that?"
I stopped playing again. "Do what?"
"Make that face every time I bring up our daughter." She reached up and ran the
back of her fingers down my cheek.
I shook my head and grabbed her hand, kissing her wrist on her pulse point before
setting it back in her lap. Every beat of her heart was precious to me. "I don't know
what you're talking about."
"It's not the baby's fault, Edward."
I refused to look at her, instead I stared down at the piano keys. Black and white.
So simple. So uncomplicated. So unlike the rest of my life.
"I love you more than anything in this entire world. You fail to understand," I said
with my fingers hovering over the keys.
Isabella's hand came down hard on the piano, making a loud and discordant
sound. "You are so frustrating!"
- 60 -
"I'm frustrating?" I glared at her, letting my anger seep out slowly. "Because I love
you so much? Because I can't bear to think about not having you in my life? Because
you are the only thing I want?"
She was shaking her head and her nostrils flared. "Because you think you're the
only one that feels a damn thing! You don't think I love you?"
"I have never doubted that you love me."
"You don't think I love you as much as you love me?"
"No one can love anything as much as I love you," I replied, placing my hand on
her cheek.
She covered my hand with hers. "You're wrong. You are so wrong." She slid my
hand down and placed it on her round belly. "She's going to love you in a way you
can't even imagine."
I swallowed hard and stared at my hand. If Isabella died, it wouldn't matter. The
child would never know me. I was going to make sure of that.
"I love you," Isabella continued. "I love you just as much as you love me and it
pisses me off that you think that's not possible. I have been to hell and back for you.
I have risked my life and faced down an insane psychopath for you. You have no idea
how much I feel!"
"Please don't get upset," I begged her, turning my body towards her. "You know
you aren't supposed to get overly emotional."
She put her own hands on her belly. Staring down at it, her eyes began to well up
with tears. "I love this baby, too. I love her more than I ever thought possible. I can't
put into words what it feels like to have a life growing inside me. There's nothing
like it. There are no words to describe what she means to me. What our baby means
to me. I would kill for her. I would run into a burning building to save her. Does that
help you understand? You do not have a monopoly on crazy, overwhelming love. You
don't."
My beautiful Isabella looked up at me, hoping I would understand. I leaned over
and kissed her forehead. I never meant to upset her. I did not doubt her or her love
for me. I struggled with her willingness to die for this baby, with the fact that she
could love someone she hadn't even met yet as much as she loved me. Sadly it was
clear, I was still my father's son.
- 61 -
"I love you both too much to die, Edward," she said, looking at me with those sad
fucking eyes.
"You have no idea how much I want to believe that." I kissed her gently at first,
then I let myself get lost in the feel of my wife's lips on mine.
Just as I slipped my tongue inside, the baby kicked right where my hand was
resting on her mother's stomach. She kicked so hard, Isabella grunted in response. I
had never felt the baby move before. I refused to touch it when she asked me. I had
watched everyone else smile and laugh when they felt it. Tyler, Charlotte, Esme,
Alice. Even Jasper, Charlie, and Emmett.
Isabella giggled. "I think she wants you to quit kissing me and finish playing the
song."
I laughed. Truly laughed. Something I hadn't done in a very long time. The baby
kicked again and I found it difficult to pull my hand away. Maybe she was trying to
tell me something. Maybe she just enjoyed hearing me play. I didn't blame the baby,
I blamed myself. Our child could be the ultimate victim in this whole messed up
situation if Isabella died. I would be a terrible father without my wife. I just knew it.
"Your dad is good. I think the Flinstones was my favorite part," Emmett said when
I finished.
"Mommy's lullaby is my favorite."
"Mine, too, sweetheart." I kissed the top of Penny's head. "Why don't you run
downstairs and tell Charlotte we're ready for a snack? I bet you're hungry."
My little girl slid off the bench. "My belly is really hungry!" She skipped out,
cheerfully doing what I asked.
"Leave the past where it belongs, E." Emmett narrowed his eyes at me.
I pushed the bench back and stood up. "I know. She makes me feel so damn guilty,
though. I have one flesh and blood child. One. And I didn't get to enjoy the
experience, you know? I didn't get to be excited. Shit, you know what I did. You
know how I almost..."
"Dude, stop. You can't change it. You can't go back. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it was shitty
and you made some even shittier decisions while going through the most difficult
thing a guy can go through. But now you've got Faith, and you are a good dad, who
- 62 -
loves her. That's what she knows and that is what she's always going to know. Plus,
like you just said, you almost. We both know you wouldn't have gone through with it.
I know you wouldn't have."
I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. He was right. Again. That was
becoming annoying.
"She deserved better, that's all." Yes, my Pennylove deserved much better than
how I acted.
"In the end, she got the best. Remember that."
Well, I certainly couldn't have gotten worse. Isabella made it clear nothing was
worse than the monster I was just a few weeks before Faith was born.
I got home late from work. I had been hiding, using work as an excuse for not
coming home for dinner. Dinner, which consisted of things that had no salt or fat
because Isabella could not eat anything that was bad for her heart. Dinner, when
she would tell me things about the baby that I didn't want to know. Dinner, when
she'd purposely leave out details about how she was feeling because she didn't want
me to worry. She was protecting me when I was powerless to do the same for her.
I was talking to Kate on my cellphone when I pushed open the door to my home
office. Isabella was sitting at my desk. Her eyes were red and puffy like she had
been crying for much too long.
"I'll talk to you about this tomorrow." I hung up and put the phone in my pocket.
"What's the matter? Why have you been crying?"
The underlying anger in her tone was not was I was expecting. "When Terry came
over the other night and you two came in here to talk, what were you talking
about?"
I could feel my heart stop. She couldn't possibly know. Terry had to abide by client
attorney privilege. Terry could not have told Isabella or Tyler. No one was to know.
Isabella spoke before I could come up with a good answer. "I swear to God if you
are standing there trying to think of a lie or a way to avoid answering, I will hurt
you. I will...throw something at you." She grabbed the glass globe paperweight that
sat on my desk. This was so out of character for her I almost laughed. I didn't laugh,
though, because that globe would be chucked at my head, no doubt.
- 63 -
"I had her draw up some papers for me," I replied honestly. I didn't move. I
wanted to, but I couldn't lift my feet.
I saw her chin begin to tremble. It made me want to look away. Her pain tore me
apart. I couldn't bear it when I already carried around so much of my own. Whoever
told her was dead. Dead to me, at least. I would wipe them from my life in an
instant.
"What kind of papers?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Alice called tonight, asking me about the Summer Bash. She needed to know if
you had signed the contract with the company who's doing the light show. She said
she had put it on your desk when she was here last weekend." She pulled a large
yellow envelope out of the drawer beside her.
My eye twitched and my chest ached. No one told her anything. She had stumbled
upon them herself because of my carelessness. I should have locked the papers up
somewhere at Masen Corp. instead of hiding them in my desk.
"I came in here to look for it for her. I figured you wouldn't mind. We have no
secrets." The sense of betrayal she felt was clear. She loathed secrets and this was
the biggest one yet.
"Isabel-"
She slammed the globe down, effectively silencing me. "How can you do this? How
could you even think to do something like this?"
"I can't do it without you! I can't! I know it!"
With a trembling hand, she wiped her wet cheek. When she looked at me, I could
feel all her sorrow deep inside my chest. "You want it to be as if she never existed?"
Yes...no...maybe a little of both. I wanted Isabella to live. That was all I wanted. If
I couldn't have that, then I wanted nothing. Nothing at all.
I tried to appease her with the reasoning I had used on myself. "I would see to it
that she was placed with the best possible family."
The fire in her eyes made me hold my breath for what was coming. She clawed at
- 64 -
her head and pulled her hair at the roots. "The best possible family? She has the
best possible family!"
"Not if you are dead!" I roared, rushing towards the desk that separated us. I
pounded my fists on the wood. I was breathing heavy as my heart thundered in my
chest. "If you die, I die! I will be of no use to a child!"
"You are so selfish! You are so narrow-minded and fucking selfish! Our family
loves this baby. Our entire family wants this baby. If you give her up, they will never
forgive you! I will never forgive you!"
"You'll be dead! Dead women don't hand out forgiveness! Dead women do nothing
but rot underground!" I punched down on the desk again, causing her to jump. "The
dead don't get a fucking say in how the living carry on!"
That shut her up. Her mouth hung open as she stared at my face. Her eyes
scanning for some sign of remorse or apology for the harshness of my words. There
was none, except for the fact that she had found out. She was never supposed to find
out. The papers would only matter if she died. If she died, I would put the baby up
for adoption immediately. I could not be any part of the child's life.
She stood up and brought the back of her wrist up to her mouth as if to hold back
her emotion. Her hand dropped to her side and her words were painted with her
melancholy. "I can't do this anymore. I've been trying so hard, but you've lost your
mind. I don't know how to help you, and I have too much to deal with to figure it out.
I love you and I swore I would never leave you." She seemed pained by what she was
going to say next. The tears began to fall in earnest. "But believe this, Edward
Masen, I will file for divorce and fight for sole custody of our unborn child before I
ever give you a chance to go through with this horrible plan of yours."
She walked towards the door. Leaving me. I just knew it.
"Jasper is on his way to pick me up. I need to get out of here. You need to be
alone, so you can figure out how to make this right. In the meantime, I suggest you
find a good hiding spot, just in case Alice has decided to make the trip to get me as
well."
That night was worse than the day I left her in Forks. That night, Isabella drew a
line in the sand and dared me to cross it. I knew she meant every word. Her threat
was real and ripped my heart out. That was the night I realized death was not the
only thing that could make her break her promises.
- 65 -
A/N: I don't own Twilight.
Thanks to momof4luvntwisaga for her help and support. She is the best :)
Happy birthday to Kitty Vuitton! (one day late, darn not posting on Fridays
anymore) Love to all my Pennyladies and the people on Twitter who are
constantly pimping this story and FaN. You guys are awesome.
One more chapter of mystery and then all will be revealed for those of you
wondering when the heck you're going to get some damn answers. Eight
chapters in all. I know it's short. I'm sorry but this is the story I had to tell
and this is all there is of it! If I promise to write something else soon, does
that help? Love you all and your reviews. I was totally a slacker on replies
this week. You guys have lots of good thoughts. Does this chapter make you
change your mind? Happy weekend.
Lots of hot pics of Rob playing piano on the blog along with some youtube
videos of the songs Edward and Penny played, in case you are interested.
There are no answers as to where Bella is on there, however. Sorry! I do love
you, though!
XOXO,
TF
- 66 -
Chapter 6
Seventy-two seconds.
A lot can happen in seventy-two seconds. I can say I love you one hundred and
fifty-nine times. I can go up and down the all of the stairs in my house three times. I
can do ninety-one jumping jacks. I can recite the alphabet fourteen times. I can type
the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog ten times. Seventy-two seconds might
not seem like very long. But to me, seventy-two seconds was a lifetime.
"How come I can't come?" Penny asked as I slid my leather jacket off the hanger.
"Daddy needs to go see someone, but I expect you to help Lala babysit Uncle
Emmett and Aunt Alice while I'm gone." I bent down so I was eye to eye with her.
She twisted up her little mouth, then smiled. "I can't babysit them. They're too
big."
"Okay, well, then maybe you can just play with them, so they stay out of trouble.
You know Uncle Emmett, he gets crazy when Daddy's not here to make sure he
behaves."
Penny giggled. "He does not!"
"He does," I said, my eyebrows raised. "He eats all my fruit snacks when I'm not
here."
"Daddy..." her hand smacked down on my shoulder "...the fruit snacks are mine."
I feigned surprise. "Yours? No, you're obviously confused, Pennylove. The fruit
snacks are mine."
"They're mine."
"I'm pretty sure Lala buys them for me."
"No!" She giggled, her little face lit up with unadulterated joy. "Lala buys them for
me."
- 67 -
"You?"
She nodded happily, and I leaned forward to kiss her sweet little cheek.
"Fine. They can be yours, but you have to share with me. I'll see you in a little bit.
I love you."
"I love you, too, Daddy." She hugged me tightly before skipping off to find one of
the many grown-ups hanging around here.
I went to grab my keys when Alice appeared out of nowhere, startling me. "I can
still go with you."
I shook my head. "Stay here. I don't have a bus, you know."
"Fine," she said in defeat, her smile faltering. "Um, I don't want you to be mad, so
I'm going to tell you that-"
"Where's my little bit of Faith?" Esme said sweetly in her sing-song voice as she
opened the front door. I watched as she and Carlisle walked in the house, turning
my glare on my sister.
Alice looked a bit sheepish. "I sort of told Esme that I was coming over here."
"Alice," I groaned. I knew she would do this. I knew if I let her come over, she was
going to let it slip.
"Hey there! Are you heading out already?" Esme walked over to us and wrapped
me in a big hug.
"Grandma!" Penny came charging down the hall followed by an overexcited
Cupcake.
"There's my pretty girl!" Esme let go of me and picked up my daughter.
I stepped around them to get to the dog, who was practically attacking my poor
uncle. "Cupcake, knock it off!" I swatted at her to get her to stop jumping on his leg.
Carlisle bent down and gave the dog a pat on the head, pleasing the stupid mutt to
no end. "Alice said it was okay if we came by. It was okay, wasn't it?" He knew to be
suspicious of my sister and with good reason.
- 68 -
I gave him a hug hello and goodbye. There was no reason to fight it. "It's fine." I
noticed the multiple shopping bags in his hand. "Those better not be for anyone who
lives here."
He shrugged. "It's the perk of being a grandparent. She can't stop herself." He
nodded at his wife.
Esme would hear no complaining from me. "Oh, Edward! Come on. You, of all
people, cannot give me a hard time about spoiling anyone."
I was certainly guilty of that. The annoying animal at my feet was evidence of my
inability to control my need to please those I loved. I sighed. "I'm heading out. I'll be
back in an hour or so."
"We'll be ready and waiting," Esme replied. "Right, Faith?"
"Yep!"
I planted one more kiss on my Pennylove's forehead and headed out. Even though
the quiet was going to be a welcome relief, I was leaving the madhouse and heading
to the cemetery. Not the most pleasant alternative.
Lake View Cemetery was west of Lake Washington. It was a huge cemetery, much
bigger than the one my parents were buried at back in Chicago. It was kept up quite
nicely, the trees and other landscaping were always pruned and trimmed. There was
a lot of open space and interesting statues to look at as you walked around. There
were some very old graves here, the cemetery dated back to 1872. Bruce Lee was
buried here, as well as his son.
I parked my car and jumped out. I didn't like coming the cemetery, but always felt
a little better when I left. Coming here made me feel like I was making it clear that I
would never forget. I shook my head. As if I could ever forget. I would never forget.
Certain events in your life are unforgettable. That goes for some people as well.
I walked down the path that led to the grave I was here to visit. I felt bad as I
passed one headstone with flowers set on top of it. I never brought flowers. I knew
they would just die in a day or so and some poor groundskeeper would have to
throw them away. I wasn't the only one to visit, this I knew. There were times I
found flowers sitting by the grave from the others that came to pay their respects. I
knew one person in particular came much more often than I did. I visited twice a
year. Once for each date on the headstone.
- 69 -
I rarely visited my parents' graves in Chicago. Mostly because it was far away and
I didn't have much reason to go to Chicago. The last time I had been there was in
the spring of 2012. I had brought Isabella there to "meet" my mother. She taught me
how to talk to the dead that day. I remembered she was so nervous.
"It's so windy. No wonder why they call this place The Windy City."
"It's not that bad, Isabella."
"Is my hair a total mess?" She tried to smooth it out and pushed it behind her ears
for the hundredth time.
I grabbed her hand. "Baby, no one is going to be looking at your hair. There's no
one here but you and me."
She shook her head at her silliness. "You're right. I don't know why I'm nervous.
It's not like your mom is going to disapprove, right?"
"If my mother had not wanted us to be together, she would have sent a giant wave
to wash you away back in Fiji. I think we're good." That earned me a laugh, which
made me smile.
We walked up to the spot under the flowering crab tree. My parents were buried
side by side, though I tried not to focus on my father's side. They shared a
headstone. My mother's side was engraved with BELOVED WIFE, MOTHER,
SISTER. My father's simply said his name and date of birth and death. It was almost
pitiful, if I could feel pity for the man who tried to kill me.
Isabella never let go of my hand as we stood on the side where my mother was
buried.
"I never know what to do when I come here," I admitted.
"You don't talk to her?"
"I don't know what to say." It was true. What do you tell your dead mother that
she doesn't already know? If there is a heaven or whatever, wasn't she already
looking down on me?
"You just talk to her. Like this." Isabella let go of my hand and crouched down.
"Hi, Mrs. Masen. My name is Bella and I'm in love with your son. He's quite a
wonderful guy. He's a good man. You should know that. I'm certain he hasn't come
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here before to brag about himself that way. He likes to talk about his money and his
smarts, but it's his heart that really matters. He has a beautiful heart."
She was my heart. If it was beautiful, it was because it belonged to Isabella
completely. I bent down on one knee and took her hand back in mine.
"Hi, Mom." It felt stupid to be talking to grass. "So, this is Isabella. My wife. I got
married. So did Alice. We're doing really well...I guess." This was so weird, talking
to a dead person. I looked over at Isabella. She was smiling and squeezed my hand.
"It was a lovely wedding," she added. "They both were. Well, all three were
actually. Edward and I had to have two because the first one we did alone and I'm
sure you know how Alice felt about that."
I couldn't help but laugh. Yes, we had two weddings. One for us and one for
everyone else. The first one was my favorite, however. Nothing could top that day in
my mind.
"I married an incredible woman, Mom. You'd love her because she's so much like
you." My throat tightened up. My mother would have loved Isabella. Esme was
completely taken with her, and my mother and Esme didn't disagree about much. I
could see my wife's cheeks pink up. She still couldn't take a compliment without
doing that.
We stayed quiet for a little while as the wind blew her hair all over the place. For
a spring day in Chicago, it was quite warm. The breeze made the heat tolerable. I
concentrated on the feel of Isabella's fingers threaded between mine and listened to
the birds in the trees.
"Edward makes me so very happy. I just wanted you to know that, too. I promise
to take good care of him."
My mom would be happy to know that. She would have wanted me to be someone
who made other people happy. She wanted me to be a good person. It would have
made her happy to know I was with someone as good as the woman who vowed to
spend her life with me. Isabella was better than I deserved. I wanted to believe my
mother would be proud of me. Alice and I were her legacy. That was more important
than I had realized before I met Isabella.
"I miss you," I whispered, surprised at the emotion that laced those words.
I stood up and pulled Isabella up with me. I started to walk away, but she didn't
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budge.
"What about him?" She glanced at my father's side of the plot and back at me
expectantly.
"What about him?"
"Don't you want to say anything to him?"
I shook my head. There was nothing to say. It wasn't that I couldn't think of
anything, I simply had nothing I wanted to share with him. He didn't deserve it.
"I just want to say a couple things. You don't have to stay if you don't want to," she
said, letting go of my hand and moving around to the other side. She never failed to
surprise me. I certainly wasn't going to leave without hearing what she had to say to
the man who hated me.
"I'll wait right here."
Isabella nodded and then sunk down like she did when she spoke to my mom. "Hi,
I'm Bella. I just wanted to say two things. First, I'm sorry. Something really terrible
must have happened to you to make you so horrible. You missed out on loving two of
the most incredible people I've ever met. Your children are worth knowing and
worth loving. I also want to say thank you. Thank you for giving your wife the gift of
children even though you didn't want them. I reap the benefit of that decision
everyday. So...yeah, thank you." She started to get up, but then crouched back
down. "Um, and I kind of hope you're in hell, but that seems really mean, so I also
kind of hope you aren't. Okay, that's it."
I stood in shock as she moved back over to take her place next to me. Her hand
grasped mine. I stared at her in amazement.
"You're really something, you know that?"
"You're really something. Do you know that?" she retorted.
"You're sorry and thanks? That's what you wanted to say to him?"
"And go to hell, but I sort of chickened out." Her eyebrows pinched together in the
most adorable way.
I let out a breathy laugh. "You are too kind, especially to those who do not deserve
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it, sweetheart." I kissed her head and pulled her away back to the car. I didn't say it,
but there was a small part of me that also hoped he wasn't in hell. Of course, there
was a very large part that hoped he was because, let's be honest, I was nowhere as
kind as my beautiful wife.
I made my way over to the grave I was looking for just past the large willow. I
could smell rain in the air. I hoped it would hold off until this visit was over. I hadn't
grabbed an umbrella on my way out even though it seemed like it rained every time
I came here. Standing beside the large granite headstone, I took a deep breath. I
brushed some brown and shriveled leaves from the base. I had bought an expensive
upright monument. It didn't have any creepy angels or overly ornate carvings, but it
was a fitting memorial.
"It's me," I announced. I still felt so damn silly talking to a grave. "Happy birthday.
I know you never really liked celebrating your birthday. You weren't big on being
the center of attention." I zipped up my jacket all the way before shoving my cold
hands in my front pockets. "So, there's a lot to tell you, I guess. You'd be amazed at
how big Faith is getting. She's so tall. It's hard to believe she used to be this tiny
little baby, you know?" I always started out with talking about Faith. I didn't know
why. It was probably because she was easiest to talk about.
"She's so smart that it actually freaks me out sometimes. She loves watching stuff
on the Discovery Channel and asks me questions about things like how people make
computers and pencils. She's curious about everything. I'm waiting for the day she
stumps me because I know it's coming. Sooner than later, she's going to ask me
something I can't answer and that image I've built as the smartest guy she knows
will be blown right out of the water." I laughed, knowing that was so true.
"Being a dad is so weird. I don't think I could have ever imagined how wonderful
and hard it would be at the same time. It would have been nice if you or someone
had given me a heads up. Everyone tells me I'm doing a good job, which is nice to
hear. I think she'd be spectacular regardless of my influence, though. I'm not sure I
should take too much credit for how amazing she is."
I looked up at the heavens, making sure the rain clouds weren't going to unleash
on me. The sky was getting darker by the minute. I knew I didn't have much more
time.
"I'm rambling. Sorry. I should get to the point, right? Well, I still miss you. You
have no idea how many people have tried to get me to fill the spot you left in my life,
but you are simply irreplaceable. I've thought about it. I've even considered a few
people. In the end, I just don't think anyone could be enough. You were so much
- 73 -
more than my right hand. You were my friend. My confidante. People like you just
don't come around that often."
I touched the cool granite, my fingers running over the top of the headstone. No,
no one could replace what I had lost. Some people were too important. Too special
to replace.
"I was thinking about my dad today. I thought about how he never really taught
me anything. Maybe I learned some bad habits from him, but he never was there to
mentor me. He never offered guidance or tried to get me to question things so I
wouldn't act on impulse. You did that though, Alec. You were more of a father to me
than my dad ever was. I am so fortunate to have had you in my life. Men like you and
Carlisle make me realize that sharing DNA with someone doesn't make you a father.
A father-figure earns his title through his love and actions. You have no idea how
important that was for me to come to terms with."
Truly, I could never thank Alec enough for being the man he was and for making
me part of his family. He was always there for me even when I was a giant pain in
his ass. I was not easy to work for and I was much worse before I met Isabella. Alec
respected and cared for me when I wasn't all that respectable. I made an effort not
to take my life for granted. It could have easily been me that was in that car that
night. I owed it to him to live my life right. I felt like I did that, most of the time.
"Today is a big day," I began as lightning shot across the sky. Shit. It was going to
rain on me. The wind began to pick up. I cursed myself for not bringing an umbrella.
"I'm sure you know. I think you and my mom watch over me. I hope you'll watch
over him, too." The rain began to fall, and I knew I needed to get back to my car
quickly before I got drenched.
I ran through the cemetery and jumped in the car before the clouds unloaded. I
turned on the headlights and wipers. Thunder and lightning boomed and flashed
together. Today was a big day. Today, my life was about to change - again. I rested
my head against the headrest. Alec and Carlisle had prepared me for this day more
than they both ever would know. There would be no darkness shrouding this day. It
wasn't like the day my Pennylove was born.
"Mr. Masen, why don't you follow your daughter?" A tall and slender nurse was
attempting to move me from my spot next to Isabella.
"I'm not leaving my wife! What's happening?"
Doctors and nurses were all moving and talking. They were scrambling around
- 74 -
and shouting things about blood pressure and pulmonary edema. Isabella stopped
coughing, but the blood was still all over her lips. My head was spinning. She was
dying. They needed to stop it. She needed to stop it.
I had promised her that I would not relinquish my rights to our daughter. I had
promised my sister, my aunt, my uncle they would all be able to be a part of the
baby's life regardless of what happened. I had sworn to them all. I made the deal,
but she had made promises, too. Isabella promised not to die. She promised.
"Push the Nitropress," someone said. They were injecting things into her IV. The
machines continued to make noise. The doctors were talking loudly, not arguing but
definitely trying to decided who needed to be in charge of what.
"Isabella," I called out, pushing the nurse standing between us away. I needed her
to look at me. "Don't you fucking leave me. Do you hear me? Isabella!"
"Get Mr. Masen out of here, please." I heard one of the doctors say. I wasn't
leaving. They could not make me leave. Two people, a man and a woman, stood on
either side of me and put a hand on my shoulder.
"Isabella!"
She didn't look at me, though. Her eyes were rolling back in her head. The
machine monitoring her heart started making a noise. It was one long beep. I looked
over and saw the flatline.
"Asystole!"
"Start compressions and grab the crash cart!"
The flutter of activity began to move in slow motion as my own heart stopped
beating. My eyes moved back and forth between the woman on the bed and the
flatline on the screen. She was dead. My worst fear realized. Dead. Somehow a
million thoughts ran through my head like a tornado raging across an open field, a
swirl of confusion and pain.
I love you.
I can't do this.
I won't survive.
- 75 -
You promised.
I hate you.
You said you loved me too much to die.
Kill me.
I love you.
I can't lose you.
Take me with you.
Don't go.
I told you this would happen.
I will never forgive you.
I love you.
How could you?
This wasn't supposed to happen.
I wanted forever.
Not even forever would be enough.
What we had is not enough.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
A lot can happen in seventy-two seconds. In seventy-two seconds, I could think a
million thoughts. I could die a thousand deaths. I could lose the love of my life.
Seventy-two seconds could feel like a lifetime.
- 76 -
Isabella was dead. Her heart stopped beating. She stopped breathing. She broke
her promise.
I watched as they placed the paddles on her chest and shocked her diseased
heart, causing her upper body to lift off the hospital bed. I watched in horror as the
alarms continued to ring. The nurses tried to remove me from the room, pulling me
away from my only reason for being.
"Let's go see your daughter, Mr. Masen. Your daughter needs you now."
My daughter? My daughter needed me? She killed Isabella. We killed her. Me and
the baby. We killed the best thing that ever happened to me.
They shocked her again. The sound made my whole body shudder.
"Normal sinus rhythm," someone said as I saw the flatline begin to form small
peaks. The machine started beeping again. Beeping to each beat of her heart.
"Let's get her into an OR," the cardiologist ordered, now the one in charge.
Seventy-two seconds. My wife died for seventy-two seconds. Then she came back
to life.
The clock in the car said it was after four o'clock. I had less than ten miles to go to
get to my next destination. It would take me a little over fifteen minutes. I was right
on time. I might even be a bit early.
I pulled out my phone and typed out a text message.
I missed you more than I imagined I would.
I smiled, knowing the reaction that would get. I typed one more message.
And we both know how out of control my imagination usually gets...
With so many distractions, I wasn't sure she would turn on her phone before I got
there. Just in case she did, I needed her to know. I was lost without her. Even if it
was just a few short weeks. Hell, seventy-two seconds was too long for me.
A/N: I don't own Twilight.
- 77 -
Well, I'm listening for that collective sigh of relief! So, I killed Bella, but I
brought her back to life. My plan was always to keep this really canon. Of
course, I couldn't make her a vamp, so she was brought back from the dead
instead! Now, where has she been? We'll find out next week. You'll get all
your answers next week even though I'm sure many of you know now.
Thanks to momof4luvntwisaga as usual. Thanks to everyone who voted to
make OUaS one of the Fics of the Week over at The Lemonade Stand. Lots of
great stories highlighted over there this week! Happy Birthday to Jaime and
Jennifer, two of my Pennyladies. Early posting for the win! Love you all. See
you next Saturday!
XOXO,
TF
- 78 -
Chapter 7
"I bet he won't even talk to me. I bet I've just wasted five hours of my life."
"Don't be so melodramatic," Jasper said, tossing his crumpled up cocktail napkin
at his sister.
"You know what?" she snapped back. "You make it very easy to forget how much I
thought I missed you."
Jasper got up and took the seat next to his sister. He placed his hand on the hand
she had resting on her lap. "No one knows what he's going to do. At least you can
say you tried, right? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering if
you walked away from the person you're supposed to be with?"
Rosalie bit down on her plump lower lip. "I should have asked him to come to New
York with me. I was too afraid he was going to say no."
"Tell him that and I know he'll give you a chance," I said, butting in on their
brother/sister moment.
She looked over at me appreciatively. "You think?"
"Like I told you last night, he misses you. He's going to be mad that you lied and
said you found someone else, but then he's going to be relieved that you didn't really
move on. He's spent a long time second guessing all the same things you've been
second guessing. It will good for you two to see each other and be honest."
"Looks like we're going to get in a few minutes late, Mrs. Masen. There are some
strong storms over Seattle right this minute," Griffin announced over the speaker.
Everyone let out a collective and frustrated sigh. My head fell back against the
seat. A few more minutes seemed like an eternity. Being apart from my husband and
daughter for almost three weeks had been so much harder than I imagined. Skype
was helpful but did not allow me to hug and kiss them. All I wanted was to have my
entire family under the same roof; together, complete, whole.
"Don't worry, honey," my dad said, picking up on my frustration. "I'm sure that
husband of yours will use his influence and get those clouds cleared away in no
time."
- 79 -
I swatted his arm. He thought he was very funny. Everyone, including Edward
himself, thought my husband had more power than he really did. "Which reminds
me, if I read one tabloid article that even insinuates we received special treatment
because we're the Masens, I am going to hurt someone." There was no special
treatment in Nigeria; in fact, I felt like there had been more red tape to get through
because the illustrious Edward Masen was involved.
"Remember when Madonna took all that heat a few years ago? At least the focus
will mostly be on Edward and not you," Rosalie said in a misguided attempt to make
me feel better. "You know, since he's famous and you're not."
I tried to remember why I thought it was a good idea to bring her back to Seattle
with us. Maybe Emmett wouldn't take her back and she'd go back to the other side
of the country.
We had met Rosalie for dinner last night. Jasper and I thought we'd be spending
the entire evening listening to how much she loved New York and her glamorous
life. One bottle of wine was all it took and the woman was in tears telling us how she
regretted moving there a year and a half ago and was still head over heels in love
with Emmett. She had lied to him about finding someone else. She just thought it
would make things easier and help him move on without her. Jasper encouraged her
to call Emmett and I foolishly offered to bring her back with us.
As annoying as Rosalie could be, I knew deep down that Emmett was still
hopelessly in love with her. It had almost been a year since they ended things, but I
knew he hadn't moved on for a reason. I probably understood better than most. Rose
was Emmett's Edward. Some people didn't think my husband was very nice
sometimes and failed to see how I could put up with some of his...idiosyncrasies.
Love is blind and all that jazz. It keeps no record of wrongs according to the Bible. I
figured Emmett was obviously vying for sainthood. He was in love with Rose and
best friends with Edward. He was either a saint or insane.
"Liam, can you email Edward and let him know we're going to be a little later than
planned?" I had my hands full and he was already playing on the iPad.
"Sure," he replied with a sympathetic smile. A smile from Liam was still rare, but I
could get one out of him every now and again.
I was glad he had spent the last few weeks with us. Tyler and Emmett had been on
duty the first part of the trip when Edward and Faith were with me. I couldn't bring
myself to ask them to stay another month. Tyler needed to get home to his wife just
like Edward needed to get home because of work. Leave it to some big project for
- 80 -
the CIA or the FBI or whatever agency within the government he was working for to
interfere with this undertaking. I wasn't really mad. The truth was Faith needed to
get home, too. She wanted to go to preschool and be with her friends. She really
wanted to see Charlotte and the rest of the family. Where Edward went, Emmett
followed, of course.
Edward being Edward had Liam, my dad, and Jasper fly out as replacements.
Lagos and its seven million plus people and the U.S. Government's warning about
kidnappings and attacks in Nigeria had him beyond worried. I had an entourage
with me at all times. Always overprotective. Always taking security to the extreme.
Edward would never change, which was fine by me because I loved him exactly the
way he was.
We had bought a house on Victoria Island last year. It made it easier when we
brought Faith with us. The U.S. Embassy and Consulate both were located there.
For some reason, this made Edward feel like we were safer than if we were on the
mainland. It was definitely an affluent area and the main business and financial
center of Lagos. I never felt like we had anything to worry about.
Nigeria became important to me when I learned that it had the most children out
of school in the world. Over eight million children in Nigeria did not attend school. I
had to admit, being married to a multi-billionaire had its perks. The one that allowed
me to see to it that we steadily chipped away at the number was one of the biggest.
The Elizabeth Masen Foundation built schools, funded others, helped the other
organizations that were already busy doing the same.
I believed that I had been sent to Nigeria for a reason. I thought it was to help
bring education to those who did not have the opportunities we often took for
granted in the United States, but the real reason snuck up on me. Over two years
ago, I befriended a woman who changed my life. A woman who fought a fight not
unlike the one I fought the nine months I was pregnant with Faith. I, fortunately,
won my fight. I gave birth to my daughter and survived. Kikelomo Okoro was not as
lucky. She lived long enough to give birth, but died less than two weeks later.
When I met Kikelomo, she was a bright-eyed eighteen year old, who shared her
story with me at an EM Foundation function. She was what I had considered a
success story. Her parents were both deceased and she had no siblings. She was
raised by her elderly grandmother and almost forwent her education to work to
support the two of them. Luckily, she had caught the attention of an American
teacher sent over by our foundation, who persuaded her not to give up. When we
met, she was studying to be a teacher thanks to scholarships the EM Foundation
provided. There was something about her that spoke to me, and she became the face
- 81 -
of our initiative in Nigeria. She and I spoke often and emailed regularly.
Two days after Kikelomo turned twenty, she found out she was pregnant. Without
a family to support her and the father of her child unknown, I found myself wanting
to help. She would not accept any financial support from me or Edward, however.
She was much too proud. I kept tabs on her, though, even while I lived my life back
in Seattle. Almost a year ago, I received an email that left me in tears. Kikelomo had
been complaining about being extremely tired. She said her doctor thought she was
anemic. They ran a CBC and realized something was very off.
Stage III cervical cancer.
She was fourteen weeks pregnant.
The decision to continue with the pregnancy was much like mine. There was no
doubt in her mind that she would see the pregnancy through. The cancer ruthlessly
carried on as did the pregnancy. It began to spread and left her with little to do but
pray she could give birth before it took her life. She was almost eight months
pregnant when she finally asked me for something. Kikelomo did not ask for money
or fancy doctors, although I offered them and consulted with the best of the best
back in the states. She did not ask for anything for herself. She asked that Edward
and I take care of her child.
Kikelomo knew our story. After Faith's birth and my brush with death, convincing
Edward to let me have another baby was next to impossible. Add to it the high risk
of blood clots associated with mechanical heart valves, and I most definitely was
going to be the mother of only one natural born child. We had talked about
surrogates but decided that wasn't the path we were meant to take. Adoption was a
word we were just beginning to throw around when Kikelomo asked us to take her
child in the event of her death. Being the eternal optimist, I believed that she was
going to beat this horrible disease after the baby was born, but agreed to care for
the baby as my own if she could not.
Almost three months ago, during a planned C-section, a baby boy was born. A
baby boy, who Edward and I immediately took custody of because his mother was
too sick to care for him. The cancer had progressed so much so that Kikelomo never
left the hospital. I was still mourning the loss of a friend and a beautiful spirit. Since
Edward and I were named legal guardians in the will, things were supposed to be
easier than a regular adoption. I was married to Edward Masen - nothing was simple
in his world. Perhaps the best thing Kikelomo did was refuse to allow us to give her
any money. Edward did pay for her funeral and burial, but that was it. We had to do
an interview with Diane Sawyer last month to kill all the negative press that was
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saying we had bought a baby from a dying woman. I allowed the interview only to
make the world aware of the amazing woman Kikelomo was and to highlight the
work of the EM Foundation. I didn't really care what the world thought of me. At
least, I knew I shouldn't care.
"We have clearance to land. Please make sure you have your seatbelt fastened."
Marcie, the flight attendant, came through the aisle to check on everyone one last
time.
I looked out the window as the world below came into view. We came through the
clouds and the lights of Seattle shined brightly. I was so close, I could almost feel
Edward's presence. I could hear the landing gear descend and squeezed my dad's
hand as we touched down. We were home. Home at last.
The best thing about my entourage was that I never had to lift a finger. Dad and
Jasper carried all my carry ons. Liam grabbed the car seat and the diaper bag.
Rosalie even offered to hold my coat for me. I only had arms for one thing and that
was my sweet baby.
I saw the Mercedes as soon as I stepped off the plane. It was drizzling, so I
covered the baby's head with the blanket he was wrapped in. Edward jumped out of
the SUV and my heart skipped a beat. Brown leather jacket, hair in beautiful
disarray, jeans that fit him perfectly. I couldn't make it down the steps fast enough.
Ignoring everyone else, he ran right to me and wrapped me and the baby up in his
arms. "Welcome home, my love."
"I missed you," I replied, gripping him tightly with one free hand.
"I missed you more. Trust me." He kissed me softly before giving the baby a kiss
on his little head. "Hey there, big boy. I missed you, too."
We headed to the car, one step closer to being a complete family again. Liam and
Jasper got some of the luggage in the car. There wasn't going to be enough room for
all of it. We were going to have to have a car bring the rest back to the estate.
"Rosalie, nice to see you again," Edward said, opening the car door for her.
"Thanks," she said hesitantly. Things were never very friendly between Edward
and Rosalie after what happened when we found out about my heart condition. Add
to that the breaking of his best friend's heart, and even I was surprised he was being
so welcoming. "It's nice to see you as well. Congratulations, by the way."
- 83 -
He smiled and gave a quick nod as she climbed in the car and out of the rain. Dad
had gone to work getting the car seat in place and I buckled my little boy in.
"You brought home a surprise," Edward whispered in my ear before I got in the
car.
"If they're meant to be, they're meant to be."
He shook his head with a grin. "He's gonna flip."
My eyebrows shot up. "I know."
Liam sat in the front with Edward while the rest of us piled into the back. Thank
goodness we had bought the GL550. Who knew we were going to need this much
room. Edward kept looking back at me through the rearview mirror while everyone
chatted about the flight and Rosalie lamented some more about Emmett's reaction
to her visit. Edward warned us there was a houseful of people waiting to greet us. I
knew the family was kidding themselves about waiting until tomorrow. I didn't say
much during the drive home; I was enjoying looking at my husband too much to join
in the conversation. He hadn't shaved this morning. I supposed with Faith running
around and needing to get to dance class, he might have lacked the time to do so.
His hair was long. Work was keeping him much too busy. I wondered how often he
came home, spent time with Faith, put her to bed, and then went back to work. Too
many times, I was sure.
We got home and the anticipation of seeing my daughter again was killing me. I
jumped out and ran around the car to get the car seat out. Edward took it from me
and kissed my cheek before taking my hand. He tossed Liam the keys and asked him
to run back to the airport and grab the rest of the luggage. Then he pulled me
toward the house. Home. I was so happy to be home.
"They get to stay thirty minutes. Tops," he said, pushing the front door open.
"Right. Dream on, Mr. Masen." I chuckled. "Hello! Anybody home?" I shouted as
we stepped inside.
"Mommy!" It was the greatest sound I had heard all day, followed by the pitter
patter of her feet as she ran down the hall to greet us. "Mommy! Mommy!" Faith
leapt into my waiting arms.
"Hey, baby," I said, holding her tight. "Oh, I missed hugging you so much. I think I
might hug you all night. Would that be okay?"
- 84 -
Faith giggled. "Lala will want hugs too, silly."
"So true. I suppose I will have to stop hugging you long enough to hug Lala.
Maybe Grandma and Grandpa too."
"And Uncle Emmy and Tyler and Aunt Alice and Jackson and Cupcake."
"Cupcake?" Only then did I notice the white animal at my feet, yapping loudly.
"Um, surprise. We got a dog." Edward looked petrified.
"We got a dog?"
"I got Penny a dog because I thought it would be good for her to have something
to take care of when you were taking care of the baby. It seemed like a really good
plan...you know...when I first thought of it."
"We got a dog?" I repeated, dumbfounded. I had a three month old baby and a
dog? Was he kidding me with this?
"Look how cute she is, Mommy. She's the best dog in the whole world. She almost
knows how to sit and she only poops in the house when Daddy forgets to let her out.
And don't put the baby on the ground because she likes to bite my babies' eyes.
Daddy has to throw them away. I don't want to throw my brother away."
I stared at my innocent daughter and then glared at her very remorseful-looking
father.
"I'm going to hire a dog trainer. Tomorrow. Tonight, if you want me to," he
offered.
I shook my head. "We'll discuss this later." Yes, later, as in as soon as my daughter
can't hear me tell him we were not keeping the dog.
Alice and her much larger belly joined us in the foyer along with little Jackson.
Letting Jasper go for almost a month seemed to me to be such a huge sacrifice on
her part. Of course, she never once complained about him being gone. I watched
their touching reunion. Jasper hugged and kissed Alice and Jackson, then got down
on his knees and kissed Alice's stomach, whispering hello to his baby girl. I loved my
family.
We made our way back to the family room. Esme, Carlisle, Charlotte, Tyler, Terry,
- 85 -
and Emmett were all there waiting. Hugs and I missed yous were exchanged all
around. With the huge amount of people in the room and all the attention on the
baby, it took a couple minutes for Emmett to notice who was there. I saw their eyes
connect. Rosalie was holding Jackson and gave Emmett a shy smile.
"Well, look who's playing matchmaker once again," Tyler whispered in my ear as
he wrapped one big arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him, weary from two
days of traveling.
"I really didn't have much to do with it. Just offered her a ride home."
"Uh huh," he said, unconvinced.
I smacked his chest. "I missed you."
"Missed you, too. Glad the whole family is back in one place."
"I'm mad at you, though. You let him buy a dog."
"I don't let him do anything."
"Let me rephrase. You knew he bought a dog and you didn't tell me?"
"I like my job, Bella." He laughed. "I like my job a little too much to tattle."
"Like he'd ever fire you," I said shaking my head as I looked over at my husband
showing off his son to his family. Charlotte was making the baby smile and kick his
little legs. I turned back to Tyler. "Plus, you know I'd just hire you back."
"I almost called you. I did, but Faith loves the damn thing.
"Oh, I'm sure she does." I rubbed my sore neck. We were going to have to keep
the damn dog. I knew it.
I watched as Emmett approached Rosalie and gave her a cautious hug hello. He
was done for. When he heard she was miserable without him, he was going to take
her back without a second thought.
Faith tugged on my hand. "So what did you bring me?"
I frowned. "What did I bring you?"
- 86 -
"Didn't you bring me a present?" she asked, looking dismayed. "Daddy always
brings me presents when he goes on a trip."
"I wasn't on a trip, baby. I was waiting for the people over there to tell me I could
bring your brother home."
"No fair," she pouted. Now, I saw why we had a new puppy. Edward couldn't
handle this kind of guilt trip.
I bent down and looked my little girl in the eye. "I missed you so much. I hope you
missed me too, even if I didn't bring presents."
Her lips pursed to the side as she thought about what I was saying. She threw her
arms around my neck. "I missed you, Mommy."
I smiled, hugging her back. She wasn't spoiled, just a four-year old who never had
to want for anything. My daughter knew not everyone had what she had, and we
always made it a point to include her in our charity work. I knew when she was old
enough to get it, she'd get it. We were determined to make sure Edward's money
had little effect on the kind of person she was going to be. She ran off after the dog,
who came into the room with someone's shoe in its mouth. Edward cringed.
Something told me he would be calling a dog trainer tonight.
"So how many times do you think people will assume Tyler's the daddy when it's
just you two and the kids out and about?" Terry asked, linking arms with her
husband.
I pinched Tyler's cheek. "Poor Tyler. Everyone is going to think he's my baby
daddy."
He laughed and pushed my hand away with his giant paw. "You wish you could get
some of this."
"That's just...wrong. I've pretended to be your daughter before," I said, elbowing
him in the ribs. He chuckled as I held on to his other arm. "Really, with all the
attention this is getting in the press, I'm sure only the people living under a rock
won't know the real story."
"It hasn't been too bad," Tyler assured me. "I assume once they know you're back,
the paps will be heavy for a bit. Security will be tight. Then some celeb will get
arrested or break up and you'll go back to being old news."
- 87 -
"Can't wait," I said with a sigh.
After about an hour, Alice had a pizza place on the phone and it looked like they
were all settling in to have dinner here. My husband followed me into the kitchen. I
needed to make the baby a bottle. He stood behind me and massaged my shoulders
as I pulled out the formula and bottles from the diaper bag.
"They're going to leave right after dinner, I promise."
"It's fine. I don't mind." I smiled at him over my shoulder. He planted a kiss on the
back of my head. I made a bottle and leaned back against him as I shook it. "So...the
dog."
His arms fell from my shoulders and wrapped around my waist. His chin rested on
my head. "I should have talked to you. She was so upset about not being with you,
and I started worrying about how she was going to feel about having the baby here
in what she considers 'her' house. I thought the dog would keep her occupied when
you were busy with the baby. I thought it would help with sibling rivalry."
I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "Sibling rivalry between a three month old
and a four year old?"
"I don't know," he groaned, holding me tighter.
"The dog is trouble. Isn't it?"
Edward kissed my neck. "Yes," he said close to my ear. "She's the devil dressed in
white fur with a cute little nose and a wagging tail."
I closed my eyes and tried to tell myself that his intentions were good. Edward had
a difficult time saying no to our daughter. He'd find a way to give her the moon and
the stars if she asked for them.
"We'll figure it out," I said, turning in his arms so I could see him. He looked as
tired as I felt. I brushed the back of my fingers down his cheek. His scruffy jawline
was going to feel amazing against my skin later tonight when we were alone in our
room. "I missed you too much to be mad right now."
Edward kissed my lips, his hands dipping below the belt. The warmth of his body
washed away all the tension I felt. "I knew you'd say that. Good thing I haven't lost
my hold over you."
- 88 -
My lips curled and a giggle escaped. "Good thing." I kissed him and handed him
the bottle. "Go feed our son. He's hungry."
Soon everyone was fed. The kids were getting tired. Jasper looked ready to go
home. Emmett and Rosalie were whispering in the kitchen while they helped clean
up. Dad took his bag up to his guest room. I sat in the rocking chair Esme had
bought me when Faith was born and gently rocked my son to sleep. Home. I was
right where I wanted to be.
Tyler and Terry were the first to go. My 50/50 never overstayed his welcome. Alice
and Jasper were next. Esme offered to put Faith to bed, but Dad asked if he could do
it. Carlisle and Edward shook hands before Esme hugged my husband to death.
Emmett announced he was going to give Rosalie a ride to her hotel. Hotel. Yeah,
right. Before I knew it the room was empty except for me, Charlotte, and Edward.
"You want me to put him down for you?" Charlotte asked, smiling with a kindness
that made me love her even more than I already did.
I declined with a shake of my head. "I'm going up in a minute. I need to give Faith
some extra attention before she falls asleep."
"All right." She came over and stood beside us. "He's an adorable little guy."
I looked down at the sleeping baby in my arms. He had his mother's nose and the
littlest lips. I thought Faith was small, but this guy was still so tiny. "He's perfect. I
wish Kikelomo could have had more time with him." My heart still hurt for the young
woman whose life ended much too soon.
"He'll know all about her; that's the best we can do," Edward reminded me.
"You look so tired, Bella," Charlotte fussed. "If you need an extra pair of hands in
the morning, you let me help. You hear me?"
"I will, I promise."
"I missed having you around." Charlotte kissed my head and ran a gentle finger
across the baby's forehead and down his cheek. "Everything is better when you're
here." She left to make sure Emmett and Rosalie actually cleaned up the kitchen.
I rocked a few minutes more because I couldn't find the energy to lift myself up
and out of the damn chair to be honest. Edward could see I needed some assistance.
He got up and took the baby from me.
- 89 -
"Come on," he said, offering me a hand so I could stand. "I need to get you
upstairs and naked before you fall asleep on me."
"Nice. Always thinking about getting some action, aren't you?"
He pressed his lips against my temple. "I think about you all the time. Wanting to
make love to you is the natural progression of those thoughts. What can I say?"
We headed upstairs just as Dad was leaving Faith's room. "She told me she wants
Mommy and Daddy kisses."
"I'll go first," Edward said, handing me the baby after giving him a kiss. "Put him
down and meet me in there."
I wished my Dad sweet dreams and walked down to the nursery, which was next
to our bedroom. The room was completely redone and looked nothing like it did
when it belonged to Faith. Edward had someone come in and do the work while we
were gone. We didn't know the sex of the baby until he was born, so Esme and I did
all the planning over the phone. The walls were a light blue. In navy blue, the words
from some of our favorite nursery rhymes and children's books were written in
various places on three of the walls.
Twinkle, twinkle little star...
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock
Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere
...and the dish ran away with the spoon!
I love you to the moon...and back.
The last one was all Edward.
Above the crib in big block letters were the initials A. A. M. for Alec Arinze Masen.
Kikelomo wanted us to choose his name but asked that we use a Nigerian middle
name. We chose Arinze because it was her father's name. Alec was my first choice,
and Edward loved it so much that it brought tears to his eyes the first time I
suggested it. Things were so much easier when we agreed.
I laid Alec down in the crib and turned the baby monitor on. I kissed two fingers
and then pressed them to his head. He was going to be up in a few hours, I just
- 90 -
knew it. His schedule was totally thrown off by our world travel. I didn't even know
what time our bodies thought it was. Jetlag was the worst.
By the door hung a picture of me and Kikelomo. His two mothers. I touched the
frame with the same fingers that I used to give him his goodnight kiss. He would
always know her. He would always know how much she loved him. I would make
sure I told him every day.
I made my way back to Faith's room. I could hear her and Edward talking in quiet
voices. I stood in the doorway and watched the loves of my life say goodnight.
"I love you all the way to Africa and back to the house in the mountains to Uncle
Seth's house to heaven and the moon and back infinity times."
"That's really far. I think you beat me again. That's twice today."
"Three times," she corrected him.
Edward was on his knees beside her bed, his head resting on his arms that were
folded on the edge of the mattress. "Hmm, that's too many losses for Daddy. I'm
going to win tomorrow. You'll see. My love is going to go all that way infinity times
plus one."
I heard Faith giggle. I saw her small hand pat her father's head, her hand getting
lost in his messy hair. "Alec's belly mom is in heaven."
My heart clenched.
"Yes, Pennylove. Kikelomo is in heaven, but she trusts me and Mommy to take
good care of Alec. You too."
"I'm glad Mommy's not in heaven. I would be sad. Do you think Alec is sad?"
My little girl had an enormous heart, but I knew this topic was difficult for
Edward. I could only imagine what was running through his head. I stepped in the
room. "Hey there, sweet girl. Can Mommy give some kisses and hugs goodnight,
too?"
Faith's head popped up over Edward's, a big smile on her face. "A million kisses
and hugs!"
"A million?" I looked over at my smirking husband. "Someone is just like her
- 91 -
father." I climbed onto her bed and hovered over her, leaning down to kiss her nose,
her cheek, her forehead, her chin, and finally her neck.
She wiggled and giggled. "Stop! Stop!"
I lay down beside her. My arm draped over her waist. "I can't wait to play with you
tomorrow. Will you play with me?" I asked.
She fiddled with my wedding ring, pushing the diamond side to side on my finger.
"Yes, we can play all day and Daddy can play with Alec."
"Good idea, baby. Get some sleep then. I love you."
"Night, Mommy. I love you, too," she replied, rolling over to give me one more
hug.
Edward and I left her to fall asleep. We walked hand in hand to our bedroom.
Edward headed straight for the bed, pulling me down and wrapping himself around
me. My back was pressed tightly to his front.
"I didn't die. I don't plan on dying for a very long time."
"Liar," he said into my hair. "You did die. You died long enough for my heart to
feel it."
My daughter learned how to give a guilt trip from the master himself. I couldn't
deny what he said, so I chose to step around it. "Did you go to the cemetery today?"
"Yes."
"Have you been beating yourself up all day?"
He didn't answer right away. Instead his hands began to slowly explore my body.
"Yes, but not about Alec."
I saw his guilt all night. I could practically feel the weight of it sitting on his
shoulders. "What were you beating yourself up about?"
"You know how close to home this all hits. You know that if that little girl down the
hall had lost her mother the way that little boy next door lost his, her world would
be a very different place."
- 92 -
"But she didn't lose her mother," I argued.
He rolled on his back with a emotional sigh. I sat up and clung to his bent knee.
Pressing my cheek against it, I looked down at my poor tortured husband.
"It doesn't change the bullshit I put us through. Doesn't make it right that I almost
denied her all the people who love her and would have brought you to life for her
through their memories."
"You never would have given her up. You thought you wouldn't survive, but you
would have. For her, you would have."
His hand slipped under my shirt, its warmth spread across my skin. "I think you're
wrong," he whispered.
"I know I'm not."
"I love her so much."
"And she knows it." It killed me that he needed this kind of reassurance. His love
for his daughter was undeniable. Everyone that ever saw them together could see it,
feel it.
His hand moved and rested over my heart. "You are my everything, though.
Without you..."
This was why I loved this man so fiercely. This was why I would never give up on
him. His love for me was so strong, so real. It kept me alive. It was what brought me
back, kept me from walking into the proverbial light.
I lay down beside him, propped up on my elbow. My fingers ghosted over his lips.
"Without me is something you'll never be, Edward. Never."
"Promise?"
I kissed him softly, letting my lips show him I meant what I said before telling him.
"I promise."
Our kisses turned heated. Urgent hands held me tighter. Our legs tangled
together. He was my everything, too. Surviving without one another was possible
but would never truly be living. I knew that was what he feared when I was
pregnant with Faith. I had helped him live and love. Without me, he imagined going
- 93 -
back to who he had been before me. He didn't want to live with a walled up heart
ever again.
Edward dropped his head and kissed my neck. "I think this is what I missed the
most. This spot right here..." he placed warm lips to the side of my neck "...is what I
missed more than anything. You smell so good. You taste even better."
My eyes closed as I tipped my head back, giving him better access to his favorite
part of me. He tickled me with the soft but prickly hairs on his face. Our clothes fell
away. Our bodies pressed together. Nothing separated us. A strong hand caressed
my thigh, pulling my leg over his body. Needy lips and a tantalizing tongue played
games with my mouth and under my ear and across my chest. He positioned himself
on top of me and settled in between my legs. Rolling hips, aching need.
Never-ending love and eternal devotion. As he pushed inside me, one word
breathlessly fell from my lips.
"Home."
A/N: I don't own Twilight.
Well, there you have it! Now you know where she was and why she was
there. I can't believe we are almost totally finished with Pennyward. I'm
feeling a little sentimental and sad.
Big thanks to my BFF momof4luvtwisaga for her help and encouragement
with this story. Thanks to BDC, my favorite oncologist, for her medical
advice and for telling us who the daddy is in There is a Light finally. I was a
researching maniac for this chapter. I know more about Lagos, Nigeria and
Nigerian adoption laws than I ever need to know! Big love to all the ladies
on FB and Twitter. Thanks to all of you who review. I wish I had more time
to reply but know that your kind words mean so much to me! I appreciate
your support and love of this story more than I can say. That's what I would
have said in my review reply. I swear it :)
Ramblings on the blog as well as my picture inspiration for this chapter.
Only one chapter left. Then I'm all done for a while. Tell all your friends
it's safe to read this story now. Trouble is all about the HEA! Don't forget it.
XOXO,
- 94 -
TF
- 95 -
Chapter 8
I looked down and smiled at my son as he drank from his bottle. He stopped
sucking to return a milky one my way. He was so damn cute. Even in the middle of
the night. Even when I really wanted to be wrapped around my wife in our bed.
Isabella had fallen asleep quickly after she let me make love to her. I couldn't bring
myself to wake her when I heard Alec crying. Poor guy had no idea where he was
most likely. Not to mention his body thought it was morning. It took Penny well over
a full week to readjust when we got back last month. Isabella was going to have her
hands full for a few days.
When we were all in Lagos, I usually took the nighttime feedings because I was up
working. I pretty much lived in Pacific Standard Time while physically residing in
UTC. It was the only way I could stay there for as long as I did, but it was definitely
like living like vampire. Up all night, sleep all day.
Alec stopped eating, and I took that to mean it was time for a good burp.
Awkwardly, I tried to throw the burp rag over my shoulder and prop him up there.
He was definitely bigger than the last time I held him. It amazed me how quickly
children grew. They definitely grow way too fast. It seemed like yesterday when it
was Penny in my arms. Small, fragile, innocent. I might have resisted bonding with
her at first, but once I held her, I was hers forever.
"Come see the baby. Please. She needs to be held and not left in the nursery,"
Alice pleaded.
I was pacing in the waiting room, waiting for someone to tell me when my wife
came out of surgery. I was not going anywhere. "You and Esme go; I'm waiting here
to hear about Isabella."
Hands on hips, my sister stood in my path with a scowl on her face. "You aren't
going to be able to see Bella for hours. Your daughter, on the other hand, is ready to
see you now." I stepped around her, but she grabbed my arm. "No one else is
allowed in the nursery, Edward. The baby needs you."
"Needs? Don't talk to me about needs. I need my wife! I need to know she's alive
and well. That's what I need!" It was the only need that mattered.
"Your daughter needs you. It doesn't matter if Bella is okay or not okay. Alive and
well or not. She would want you to be with the baby. You are her father and you are
- 96 -
going to be the one who takes care of her."
I was going to have to take care of her. By myself. At least for a little while. But all
I could think about was Isabella. Alice was right about one thing, my wife would
insist I check on the baby. When she woke up (because she was going to wake up),
she was going to want to know about the baby.
"Fine," I huffed, yanking myself from her grasp. "I want someone to come get me
the second there is news about Isabella."
"Absolutely." Alice was grinning and patted me on the shoulder.
I was led to the hospital nursery. There were half a dozen babies in there. Some
sleeping, some crying. After checking my wristband, the nurse wheeled over a clear
plastic bassinet with a baby inside. She was wrapped in a white blanket and had a
pink and white striped cap on her head. Her eyes were closed and her tiny lips
pursed. She didn't look like me or Isabella. She just looked so...adorable.
"Why don't we try to get her to wake up and eat something?" the nurse suggested,
lifting the baby up. She nodded at the chair. When I didn't sit, she smiled. "You'll be
much more comfortable if you sit."
I pulled at my hair and sat down. Before I even had a second to think about it, she
placed the baby in my arms. I had never held something so light before. I had never
held a baby besides Angela and Ben's little boy, who was a good nine pounds when
he was born. This little girl felt light as a feather.
"Let's try to wake her up so she'll eat." The nurse began to unwrap her, and two
itty bitty arms along with two skinny little legs were revealed underneath. Ten toes,
ten fingers. She was drowning in a diaper that looked much smaller than the ones I
watched Isabella put on Ben Jr. when we babysat. She wore nothing else besides a
plain white T-shirt. She was so damn small.
"How much does she weigh?" I asked with this living piece of Isabella and myself
in my arms.
"Um..." she looked at the card on the bassinet "...five pounds, two ounces."
"That's small, right?"
"She's a wee one." The nurse smiled again and gave me a wink. "We're going to
have to bother her so she'll wake up. Rub her feet, move her around."
- 97 -
I didn't question her. I just did what I was told, too overwhelmed from this
emotional day to think for myself. I rubbed her foot, amazed that something that
small had kicked my wife hard enough for me to feel it. The nurse and I worked
together until the baby began to fuss and move around. With a little more effort at
annoying her, she began to cry.
"Good work, Mr. Masen. Let's see if she can take a couple ounces." The nurse
handed me a bottle like I knew what the hell I was doing. Luckily, I was a genius and
figured it out.
I put the nipple of the bottle near her mouth and after a few tries, she began to
suck on it. It was kind of...amazing. Her eyes were closed, a gel wiped over the lids.
Her skin was pink and delicate. She didn't seem to know what to do with her balled
up little fists. Her nose was so tiny I couldn't believe she could even breathe through
it. Everything about her was incredible.
My daughter. Isabella's daughter. Our daughter.
I fed her and, with a lot of assistance, burped her. I watched the nurse change her
diaper, and then I rocked her until she fell soundly asleep.. I didn't know how long I
sat there, holding and staring down at the first and only child Isabella and I would
make together. All those months I spent hating her, wishing she didn't exist seemed
like such a waste of time. How could anyone hate something so perfect, so precious,
so innocent? The reality of how monstrous I had been hit me hard. No matter what
happened to Isabella, I would spend the rest of my life making this child feel loved
and cared for. I made a silent promise as I pressed my lips to her cap-covered head.
Carlisle came in and informed me Isabella had successfully made it out of surgery
and was in recovery. My relief was not only emotional but physical. Tears fell from
my eyes and my shoulders shook as I held my daughter a little closer and let the
feelings have their way with me.
"Have you two talked about what name you're going to give her?" my uncle asked
after I calmed down.
Isabella was right from the start and had chosen the perfect name. "Faith. Faith
Elizabeth Masen."
"Daddy, I can't sleep." Speak of the devil. "I can't sleep at all. I never even sleeped
one minute. I was awake this whole time," Penny said from the doorway of the
nursery, rubbing her eye with one fist and holding on to her bunny in the other.
- 98 -
I knew this was not the truth. I had checked on her after Isabella fell asleep.
"Well, you certainly aren't going to fall asleep standing up. You need to go back to
bed, Pennylove."
"I can't! I tried and I can't sleep!" The tears were coming.
"Shh, don't wake Mommy or Grandpa Charlie." I patted my knee. "Come here and
sit with me and your brother."
Penny didn't waste a second; she climbed on my lap and lay back on me. Alec
lifted his head, trying to see what the commotion was all about. Penny gently rubbed
his back. Isabella would have cried several happy tears at the sight of us, I was sure.
"Everybody loves Alec more than me," Penny said with a sigh. This was an
unexpected complaint.
"That's not true. Everyone loves you and Alec the same amount."
She shook her head. "Nope. Grandma and Grandpa brought a million presents for
him tonight and none for me."
Three. They brought three presents for the baby and two of the three were
clothes. My daughter was quite the exaggerator. No clue where she got that from.
"Honey, when you were born, Grandma and Grandpa brought lots of presents
over. In fact, Grandma Esme probably gave you more than she gave Alec. You have
never lacked in the gift getting department."
With a pout, she whined, "Mommy didn't even bring me anything."
"Now, that is just not true. She brought you the most important gift of all."
"No, she said it was not a trip, so no presents. She only cared about getting Alec
here so everyone could love him more."
Her Masen-ness was in full effect. I could almost hear my mother laughing up in
heaven as she watched our exchange. I could feel her, like a twitch in my heart.
"Oh, my Pennylove. Do I have a story for you."
"What?" she asked, tipping her head back so she could see my face.
- 99 -
Again, I was forced to fumble around with Alec. I turned him so he could see his
big sister. My mother's wisdom was truly a gift as I imparted it to my own child.
"When I was about your age, my mom brought home Aunt Alice and you know
what?"
"What?"
"I didn't really like it that everyone thought the baby was more interesting than
me."
"Aunt Alice is so pretty and nice."
I tried and failed to not roll my eyes. "See? That's exactly what everyone said. No
one said I was pretty or nice."
She giggled. "You can't be pretty! You're a boy."
The right side of my mouth shot up. "Who says? Lala? Because unless Lala says, I
don't believe it."
"Everyone says," she replied with another tinkling of laughter.
"Anyway, my point is when she came home, I thought everyone loved Alice and not
me. Especially my mom."
"Your Mommy didn't bring you presents either?" She looked up at me so
innocently.
I tried to keep from laughing. "My mom brought home the same gift your mom
brought home tonight."
"What was it? Mommy said there were no presents for me."
"Mommy brought home Alec, just like my mom brought home Aunt Alice. Your
brother is the most special gift ever. You'll never outgrow him like those clothes
Grandma gave him. He'll never get boring. He's going to get more fun to play with
every day. Most of all, he's going to be yours forever. He's your brother. No one else
gets to say that. That's pretty special if you ask me."
Penny scrunched up her little face while she thought that over.
- 100 -
"He's also going to love you almost as much as I do. He's going to look up to you
and want to be like you. He's going to trust you and need you. And you are going to
be the coolest person he knows."
"Cooler than you?"
I squinted and pursed my lips. "Probably. But only by a little," I amended.
Penny turned to her baby brother, leaning in so their faces were inches apart. She
spoke in the same voice she used with Cupcake. "Did you hear that Alec? You're
gonna love me so much. I'm your sister and you're my brother and you have to do
everything I say because sisters are important."
Okay, that wasn't exactly what I said. Isabella had made a point of telling her how
important sisters and brothers were when we decided we were going to adopt.
Penny tended to pick and choose what she remembered from conversations. No idea
where she picked that trait up from.
"I don't remember saying anything about listening to everything you say."
"You do everything Aunt Alice says," she countered.
"Ridiculous." I did not do everything she said.
"Remember when you wanted to get Mommy a new plane for Christmas and Aunt
Alice said you better not or Mommy would make you live on the plane? She said you
should give that school a library and name it Mommy's name? And Mommy cried
lots of happy tears when you did."
All right, I occasionally did things my sister said to do.
"And remember when Aunt Alice told you those mommies in that one place needed
a better hospital for their babies and you made one for them?"
Fine, often. I often did the things my sister told me to do.
"And remember when Aunt Alice wanted to have a big party here for Grandma's
birthday and you said no, but then she said your whole name, even the middle one,
and we had the biggest party ever?"
Ugh. Always. I always did what my sister wanted.
- 101 -
"Oh, just you wait. Being the oldest is not easy. You wait until your little brother
begs you with those big brown eyes of his to do something for him or worse; to help
save the starving children all over the world or the ones without a hospital or a
school or a home with indoor plumbing!"
Penny looked at me, surely confused by my rambling.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Never mind."
I rocked all three of us for a couple minutes as my two children smiled back and
forth. Alec seemed to save his biggest smiles for his sister. He was going to adore
her. Just like the rest of us. She was doomed to have my ego.
"Do you love me?" Penny asked her brother in that high pitched voice. "Do you?"
He smiled so big and was wiggling in my arm. You could tell he wanted to shout yes
at her. "You do! You love me all the way to the moon and then to heaven and then to
China and then to Africa and then around the world infinity times?" He was beaming
at her and then the loudest noise came out of his mouth, startling us all - Alec
included. I glanced down at Penny and we both began to laugh. Alec tried hard to
make the noise happen again.
"Do it again!" Penny encouraged.
I noticed a movement by the door. When I looked up, my wife was standing there,
wiping her face.
I motioned for her to join us. "Look who's up."
"Mommy! Alec just laughed!"
Isabella stepped in the room and dropped to her knees in front of us. "Do you
three know how much I love you?"
"To the moon and back and then to Africa an-"
"Yes, Faith Elizabeth." I squeezed her so she would stop. "Her love goes on
forever, without end. Infinitely."
Isabella put one hand on my knee and the other on our Pennylove's cheek. "I could
not love three people more." Her eyes moved from our daughter's to mine. I could
feel it. She radiated love. She was the source of love in this family. The never-ending
supply we could all draw from.
- 102 -
"Let's get these children back to bed. Shall we?" I said, resting my cheek against
the top of Penny's head.
"Good idea," Isabella said with a knowing grin. "Come on, Faith. Mommy will lay
with you until you fall asleep."
My two girls walked out of the room hand in hand. I stared down at a very awake
and content little baby. "We are seriously the two luckiest guys in the world. People
like your mom don't often exist. She could have loved anyone, but she chose us. We
can never take that for granted, okay?"
Alec looked up at me with an expression of pure happiness. We were the most
fortunate guys in the world. I put him back in his crib and turned on one of the
musical toys hooked to the side. He kicked his legs and reached his hand out to the
flashing lights. I turned off the lamp by the rocker and was met my Isabella in the
hall. She practically jumped me. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she kissed me
with fervor.
"Wow, I should not have let you fall asleep without brushing your teeth. Three
hours of sleep and pizza breath, not a good combination," I said partially in jest.
She punched me in the stomach, not hard but I doubled over for effect. She began
to walk away.
"Kidding. Well, not really, but if you go brush, I will so make it worth your while."
She gave me the stink eye that Penny so perfectly imitated earlier today. I saw her
stink eye and raised her a perfect pout. She smiled and walked back to the bedroom,
turning to make sure I followed.
She brushed her teeth and so did I, to be fair. We slipped into bed, and she rested
her head on my chest. "You are a wonderful father."
"You taught me everything I know," I whispered, combing my fingers through her
the hair that fell down her back.
"You've gone from the man who loved nothing to the man who loves to infinity and
beyond."
We both chuckled.
"So, about making the teeth brushing worth my while..." Isabella said as her hand
- 103 -
slowly moved down my stomach and under the waistband of my sleep pants. Her
hand felt cool against my warm body.
I went from soft to hard instantly. I smiled into her hair. "Mmm, yes. I would
definitely like to make it worth your while."
She tilted her head up so I could kiss her minty-tasting mouth. I sucked on her
tongue as she wrapped her hand around me. We could take our time and just enjoy
one another. Clothes were thrown on the floor, hands roamed and groped. Wet lips
kissed down her long, graceful neck. Down her chest, across her stomach. She
giggled when the soft whiskers on my chin brushed against her skin. I moved back
up her body. My hand gripped the back of her neck, pulling her closer so I could
devour her.
"Chair," she said with a moan as I brushed my lips across her jaw.
I stilled and stared while her hand pulled and stroked. "Chair?"
Her head turned and I followed her eyes. Ah, yes. The chair. The chair had been
neglected lately. Tonight seemed as good as any to get it back in the game. I sat
down first and she climbed on top of me, bringing me into her. She moved as I
kissed and sucked and licked and pinched. I pulled her closer and held her tighter,
my fingers surely leaving marks on her flawless skin. My heart thumped harder. It
swelled and felt like it could burst. She made it impossible to not feel. I always felt
everything when I was with her. Wanted, needed, fulfilled, cherished, loved.
Alive.
Isabella brought me to life. From a black and white existence to a world full of
color and light. Blues and greens, red and oranges. She even brought amethyst and
apricot. Chartreuse and fuchsia. I was no longer the man I was that Friday at noon
when I sat in Eclipse's private dining room and complained about all the apologies I
had gotten that day. Now, I was a husband, a lover, a friend, a father. I was more
than I ever imagined I could be.
Little did I know that a nickel (or one thousand one hundred and forty nickels to
be exact) would change my life forever.
But they did.
The End
- 104 -
A/N: Happy Birth(plusone)day, Obsmama.
I don't own Twilight.
But I do owe a ton of thanks. Thanks to all you readers for supporting this
fic even when you thought I killed Bella. Thanks to all of you who have
reviewed and shared your stories and kind words or made me LOL with some
kind of silliness (yeah, I'm talking to you KRYork) Thanks to everyone who
rec'd this out and pimped it all over the fandom (yeah, I'm talking to you
Kennedy Nicole Cullen) To Crooked Smile for writing the most beautiful
review of OUaS for TLS. Most recently, thanks to whoever posted on Pwn of
the Week over at The Fictionators. A big thanks to Little Miss Mionie who
did a review for Fridays at Noon over at TwiMuses. Thanks for all the
nominations and votes you cast for me and this story in various contests.
Pennyward thanks you as well! :)
Thanks to the Pennyladies and the Twitter followers who make me smile
everyday. I love that friendships have been formed, not just with me but
between you guys, because of Pennyward. That's what it should all be about!
Thanks to all my BFFs, my WPoFs, my FIPs, my ICs, my RLFs, my LMNOPs,
and QRSs
Thanks to FictionFreak95 (have you Met the Masens yet? No, then go
read, love) and BellaDonnaCullen for making it fun to write every week.
Thanks to momof4luvntwisaga for loving me when I wrote stories that only
got three reviews per chapter. Oh yeah, and cleaning up my messes!
Want to know all the clues I dropped along the way? I'll try to dissect the
story for y'all on the blog later today.
No more Pennyward. Well, no new Pennyward. There are a couple FaN
outtakes left but no more futuretakes. They live a long and happy life
together.
New story? Yes. Donating Ch. 1 to the Fandom for LLS. Send in a donation,
get to read it earlier than everyone except for momof4! What's it about.
Romance/humor. High school fun. B&E, of course. Guaranteed HEA.
I'm also beta for Simone and Marie, who are writing a lovely story called
Beautiful Enemy. It is a sequel to A Beautiful Nightmare. You should read it,
- 105 -
it is great. Beautiful Nightmare is a Jasper centered story, but I love Edward
in it. They gave him his own story, Beautiful Enemy. It's posting on their
blog thebeautifulseries(dot)wordpress(dot)com. Give it a go and tell them I
sent you!
One thousand one hundred and forty nickels changed MY life.
XOXO,
TF
- 106 -
Document Outline
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Table of Contents
- Summary
- 1. Chapter 1
- 2. Chapter 2
- 3. Chapter 3
- 4. Chapter 4
- 5. Chapter 5
- 6. Chapter 6
- 7. Chapter 7
- 8. Chapter 8
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