Fanfiction Based On Characters From Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Series

Rated MA for Mature Adult Content

Remember Me

By Isakassees

Summary: "If I only got one day a year, I would make it count." One secret tree, one magic sunset, one

chance to make a wish. Lonely geek Edward makes his first friend at 7, only to have her taken away

from him the next day. Childhood sweethearts turned penpals, watch them grow and change over the

years as they fall in like, lust, and love. Friendship and romance, fluff and drama. E+B and rated M for

language, sexual references, limes and a lemon. ;) AH/AU OOC, Canon coupling

Once you’ve read and enjoyed this story, why not leave the author some love by reviewing:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6356152/1/Remember_Me

Chapter One

I would have given anything to be able to feel closer to her and if there had ever been a place filled
with memories of her, it was here. But it wasn't the same here without her. I'd never come here

before alone and it didn't hold any magic without her presence. Without her, it was just a tree.
The storm was going to be big, the lightning striking somewhere in the distance and making definite

contact. For a moment, it outshone the sun that slate gray clouds tried to hide as it slipped down
into the trees. I closed my eyes, hearing her whisper in my mind.
"Make a wish."

'*' '*' '*' '*' '*'

I fell in love with Bella Swan the day after my seventh birthday. My brother Emmett and his bullying

friend Royce stole my brand new remote control racecar and wouldn't give it back, disappearing
into the woods behind our house and laughing at me all the way. When I tried to tell my mom what

they'd done, she'd given me the universal parental hand wave and hiss that comes when a mom is

on the phone, and I decided that I'd had it.
I was done with Emmett and his friends picking on me. I was done with my mom not listening to me

and I was done with my dad always working and then coming home and lecturing me to not tattle.
So I marched up to my room and filled my backpack with the necessities. With my comic books, Ed -

my blanket, not blankie, and my secret stash of red rope licorice packed away, I was ready to go. I
marched out of the backdoor with a slam and left, intending to never return.
I've always been a bit dramatic.
Anyway, I took off for the great unknown, ready to start over in a new place. Somewhere exotic,

without pesky older brothers and parents that were always busy with work, somewhere like…well,
actually, at the time I didn't know of any other place besides Forks, but there had to be somewhere

else better than here.
So I wound my way through trees I knew so well, because in a place like Forks, there wasn't much

unknown. There were three streetlights in town. There was one diner and one grocery store and
one certainty above all others. It was always either about to rain, or it was raining already. In my

case, the rain began as I was crossing a field by Newton's Outfitters and I searched with stinging

eyes to find some shelter that wasn't a store that would call my parents immediately. I found it in a
large tree just at the edge of the field, although I didn't find out it was already occupied until I threw

my wet backpack down on the occupant.
"Ow!" a small voice shrieked.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, rushing to pick up my bag off of the small person already under my
tree. And when I did, I was met with the prettiest girl I had ever seen. She was shaking and cold and

wet, glaring up at me with red eyes and a trembling chin.
"Hey. Why are you crying?" I asked softly, already opening my pack to give her Ed, even though

normally I didn't let anybody touch him except my mom on laundry day. My Oma made it for me
before she died and it was the comfiest thing I had. I was glad to find it wasn't wet as I held it out for

her.
"I'm not crying," she sniffled, taking the blanket and covering herself quickly. "Thanks."
"But you are crying," I pointed out stubbornly. She was sniffling, her eyes were red and they were
filled with tears. It was pretty obvious. Why was she lying?
"I…don't…want…to be!" she wailed, bursting into more tears, just as a lightning bolt streaked and

startled her.
I had been prepared to point out that nobody ever wanted to cry, but when she started shaking in

fright due to the storm raging around us, I sat down beside her instead and put my arm around her
awkwardly.
"So why are you sad?" I tried again, really happy when she lifted up Ed and wrapped him around
both of us.
"My mommy and my daddy are fighting again. She said she wants to move away and they won't stop
screaming. And I don't wanna move," she whimpered.
My arm around her tightened at her mention of moving. She couldn't move! She was the first person
I ever wanted to talk to that didn't make fun of me for being too tall or too skinny or too freckly.
"I don't want you to move either," I whispered. "How come I never saw you before? Don't you go to
school?"

"Course I do," she huffed. "I'm gonna be in first grade next year. What about you? Don't you go to

school?"
"Yeah. I'm gonna be in second grade," I said proudly.
"That's why you don't know me. You probly think I'm just a baby. But I'm not," she huffed.
"No, no. I don't think you're a baby. I think you're really nice," I rushed out, desperate to keep from

losing my only friend.
"Really?" she whispered.
I nodded quickly, smiling at her when she turned to face me. She smiled back at me, a huge, real
smile with her front top tooth missing before she threw her arms around me.
"I think you're nice, too," she said softly. "What's your name?"
"Edward. And please don't ever call me Eddie. My big brother does and I hate it," I begged.
"My long name's Isabella, but I hate it too. You have to call me Bella, okay?" she pleaded right back.
"Edward and Bella," I said slowly, more to myself than her. "That's good best friend names."
"We're going to be best friends forever."
I smiled so big my cheeks hurt, which made her giggle, which made me laugh, until we were both in

hysterics and all our pains were forgotten. I pulled out my licorice and offered to share with her, an

offer that she accepted with a small smile.
"Thanks, Edward. How come you have all this stuff?" she asked innocently as she chewed on her

stick.
Looking down at the ground, I told her about my brother and my parents, and my grand plan to

leave Forks forever. When she started to cry again, I rushed to reassure her.
"But that was before I met you! I don't want to go anywhere now!"
Mentioning leaving just made her cry harder, reminding her of her parents and their fight. Her lips
trembling, she looked at me with her wide eyes unblinking.
"If I have to move…promise you won't forget me."
Sliding my hand into hers, I stared right back at her. "Promise you'll come back."
"Promise," we said in unison, which finally got her to crack a smile.
"Jinx," we said again, which finally got her to giggle again.
Once we settled down, we sat and chewed licorice in comfortable silence and I read her one of my
Batman comic books. I even let her turn the pages and I never let anybody touch my comic books

before. The storm stopped without our notice, until a break in the clouds revealed the sunset.
"Look! Make a wish!" she exclaimed, pointing at the horizon.
"Why? You're only supposed to do that on shooting stars and birthday candles," I explained.
"No," she insisted stubbornly. "My Ninny told me that every sunset is a chance to wish. 'Cause it's
magic 'cause it's not day and it's not night. It's like, in between."
"Oh," I replied dumbly. "Okay."
So we closed our eyes and made our wish. She wouldn't tell me hers, so I wouldn't tell her mine,

even though she tried to pout and I tried to tickle.

"I really hope you don't have to move, Bella," I sighed.
"Me, too," she said sadly. "I don't know why they fight so much. When I grow up, I'm never gonna get
married."
"Well, my parents are married," I argued. "And they don't fight. They're best friends."
"We're best friends! Are we gonna get married?" she asked in wonder.
"Yeah, okay," I shrugged. "We can get married."
After a moment of thought, something hit me and I cringed. "Do we have to kiss now?"
She grimaced and shuddered. "Eww. No way. I definitely don't wanna kiss. You wanna shake?"
I smiled and held my hand out and she shook it gladly. I kept reading to her for awhile until I heard

a sound.
"Do you hear that?" I whispered. From far away, voices were calling out and I could have sworn I

heard my name…Yeah, definitely heard my name. Bella's too.
"I think they're looking for us," she whispered back. I nodded sadly, stuffing my comic books and

candy back into my bag. When she tried to hand me back Ed, I shook my head.
"You keep him. If you don't move, you can give him back to me next time I see you. If you move, then

give it back when you come back to visit. That way you can think about me. Don't forget, you

promised. You hafta come back."
She nodded, her eyes filling with tears as she stood up with me. "Are you gonna be in trouble for

running away?"
I shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe. But it was worth it. Are you gonna be in trouble?"
She rolled her eyes. "I don't know. I've never been in trouble before. Maybe. But it's okay. You're my
best friend and I love you. Just don't forget. You promised to remember me."
I shook my head incredulously, pulling her into me for one more hug. "I could never forget you,
Bella. I love you, too."
Silently, I prayed once more for my wish to come true.
Please let me keep her.
Unfortunately, my wish was not granted that day. We followed the sounds of our parents' and their
friends' worried voices until we met in the middle of town, both of us swept into our respective

parents' arms. The last I saw of Bella that year was the back of her head and Ed wrapped around her
shoulders as she was ushered into a police cruiser and driven away.
My mom and dad's relief was quickly surpassed by their anger at my disappearance and I spent the

rest of my summer grounded and pining, watching each sunset through my window and wondering
if she was doing the same, wherever she was.

What if this storm ends?
And I don't see you
As you are now
Ever again

~*~

Chapter Two

I still got ignored on the playground and my brother still stole my ice cream money at lunch, but I
found myself caring less and less as the school year wore on. I distracted myself with daydreams of

what Bella might be doing, if she thought about me, where she might be. A part of me hoped that
wherever she was, she had friends, that she was happy. A smaller part of me, the selfish part, hoped

that she missed me at least half as much as I missed her. I imagined what it might be like if she
visited, since I had found out from eavesdropping on my parents' conversations over the 'poor

shame about Charlie and Renee' that she was Chief Swan's daughter. He still lived here, so she had
to come back sometime.
Right?
.
As the school year reached its end, I had to endure my parent's worried whispers and impatient

scolding as I lost myself to daydreams more and more. The teacher had had conferences with them
throughout the year, acknowledging my perfect grades, but lamenting my lack of sociability. The

day my teacher told them succinctly that I had absolutely no friends, I saw the first glimpse of
genuine concern from my parents toward me.
But when I promptly informed them that I, as a matter of fact, had a best friend and I was only
waiting for her to come back, my mother cocked her head at me as if to simply ask…Who?
"Bella. She's gonna come back and visit me. I wish I knew when," I sighed, gazing out the window
longingly, always studying the planes that flew overhead closely, hoping each one might be carrying

her.
And then my mom, for the first time in a long time, really, truly smiled at me. She stood up, thanked

the teacher for her time and then took me to my piano lesson. There were no more conferences for
the rest of the year.
My mom started sitting in on my practice sessions and my dad started teaching me how to play
catch. Emmett was still a jerk, but I was starting to think maybe he was just born that way. Like,

possibly missing a chromosome or three. Either way, he didn't bother me the way he used to.
That is to say, he didn't bother me as much, until my eighth birthday came and he tripped me as I
walked to the dining room table. I missed the cake, but just barely, and went face first into the

corner of the table, snapping my glasses in two. My mom had to put some ugly tape in the middle to
keep them together, but it was worth it since I got to listen to my dad yell at Emmett while she fixed

them. He didn't get any cake. And I saved a piece for Bella, just in case.
The day after my birthday, I jerked up in bed, sweating. I'd had a dream, or more appropriately, a

nightmare.
She didn't come, so I went to find her. And when I did, she didn't remember me. When I reminded

her, she treated me like all the rest of them.
Defeated, I buried myself under the covers again.
.
Later that morning, or possibly early into the afternoon, I was brought out of my restless haze by a

knock at the door.

"What?" I snapped. If Emmett tried to pick on me today, I'd punch him right in the nose. There was

some shuffling and some whispers in the hall, but no one responded. Irritated, I jumped out of bed
and flung my door open, ready to shout.
"Bella?" I asked, too in shock to care that I was standing there in only my Batman pajamas.
She smiled shyly and I noticed immediately that she had five new freckles on her cheeks and had

four more grown up teeth.
"Hi, Edward."
And completely unlike my dream, she walked into my arms for a hug and, for the first time in a year,
I felt like I could finally breathe.
"You remembered me," her small voice mumbled into the Batman logo on my chest.
"You came back," I returned, looking over her head to my mother, who was standing in the hallway

with a big smile and a camera.
'Thanks, Mom,' I mouthed. She nodded once before turning to leave us alone. Pulling back from

Bella slightly, the grin wouldn't leave my face. Her face reflected pretty much the same, but she
didn't look goofy like I did when she grinned. She just looked beautiful. After a while, she stepped

fully away from me, and for a brief second my dream came back to me.
"Edward? Do you wanna put on clothes so we can play? I get to stay all day," she said sweetly, her
cheeks bright pink as soon as the word 'clothes' left her mouth.
I felt my ears burn as I nodded bashfully, excusing myself to my bathroom for the quickest dressing
experience of my life. Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I tried not to think about what

Bella thought about my glasses. They were bad enough on a normal day, but the white tape in the
middle made me look just like the geek everybody thought I was. Swallowing thickly, I opened the

door and walked back into the room, but I kept my face tilted down, hoping maybe she wouldn't
notice.
She was waiting patiently for me, seated at my desk and trying desperately to not look like she was
looking at my music.
"I started playing piano this year," I offered, trying to show her that anything and everything in here
was available to her if she wanted it.
"Really?" she asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "That's so cool, Edward. My mom made
me take ballet this year. I suck."
"I bet you don't," I argued. I couldn't see her being bad at anything.
Raising her eyebrows, she pointed down at her legs and I noticed the varying shades of yellow and
green splotched over them.
"Seriously. I suck," she said firmly. "Can I hear you play?"
I grinned and nodded, taking her by the hand to lead her downstairs to my piano. She darted her

eyes between my face and my hands the whole time I played, her face a mix of awe and…pride?
"Wow," she breathed once I finished. "You're super great at that."
"Thanks," I mumbled. I didn't admit to her that I practiced that song for two months so I could play
it perfectly, just in case I got the chance to play it for her. I opened my mouth to ask if she was

hungry when I heard the backdoor slam and Emmett's voice carry through the house.

"Crap!" I whispered, stricken. I couldn't let him find us. If he just picked on me, I wouldn't care, but if

he picked on Bella… "C'mon!"
Grabbing her hand, I took us quickly out the front door, barely giving her enough time to pick up the

purple backpack I was unaware she had brought with her. We ran all the way down my driveway
until the house was barely in sight before stopping.
Panting, Bella wrenched her hand out of mine. "Why'd we have to run?"
"Emmett," I gasped out.
She glared at the house as she caught her breath until she recovered. "So what now?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno. This sucks. I was hungry."
She lifted her backpack up with a grin. "I brought my favorite this time."
Walking up to her, I shyly took her hand in mine again to lead us through the trees until we reached

our special tree. She recognized it immediately, her whole face lighting up as she found her spot and
sat down. Opening up her pack, I grinned as I saw Ed and a couple of sandwiches. She handed me

one before lifting up a big bag of gummy bears.
"My dad said we can't eat 'em until we eat our sandwiches and I crossed my heart so we have to

listen, okay?" she asked sweetly.
I nodded happily, eating quickly and thanking her with my eyes when she handed me a juice box
without me even having to ask. After we ate, she grabbed Ed and covered us even though it wasn't

really cold or wet. Resuming my position from last year, I wrapped an arm around her.
"So tell me about what you did this year."
And she did. I found out that her mom had moved the two of them to New York and Bella hated it.
She said that their first grade class was like repeating kindergarten and she was supposed to take

some test so she could skip ahead to third grade next year. I found out that her mom had already
gotten tired of the big city and was moving them again to California. She surprised me by not crying

about this move, because she said she was actually happy to be leaving New York.
"But you hate moving," I pointed out.
She shook her head. "I saw a map. It's the same ocean in California as here. Do you think if I sent you
a message in a bottle you would get it?"
It was like a light bulb went off above my head. "I don't know. But what if we sent real letters?"
She looked surprised, but happy. "I never sent a letter before. I never got one, either."
"Me, too. But we could now," I pressed, kicking myself for not thinking of this last year.
"That'll be great," she grinned, before ducking her head down shyly. "I'm glad I'll have at least one
friend."
Poking her tummy to get her to look at me, I smiled at her. "I hope you make lots of new friends
when you move. But you'll always have me. Best friends forever, remember?"
She nodded happily before resting her head on my shoulder. "Tell me about your year, Edward."
So I did. She already knew about piano lessons and the obvious addition of my glasses, but I

admitted that she was my only friend too, which for some reason was hard for her to believe. When
I told her about what Emmett did on my birthday, explaining my glasses, I had to restrain her from

rushing off to go kick him. She almost started crying when I admitted I worried if she would

remember me if she ever came back, but I got her to smile again when I crossed my eyes and blew a

raspberry on her cheek.
At some point in the day, she dug out her Lisa Frank notebook and pencil and copied my address

with promises to write me as soon as she got moved. We ate her entire bag of gummy bears, even
though it made our tummies hurt. It turned out my mom had called her dad to find out when she

was visiting and arranged for her to come over today, but we didn't know if we'd see each other
again before she left. She'd actually gotten here yesterday, but her dad wanted the day with her

first. And she was only here for two weeks and he was making her go camping and fishing in the
woods. I didn't know what to say to help her feel better about that. Camping and fishing sounded

awful. No TV!
Clouds started rolling in as the day went on, but not so bad that we couldn't see the sun start to set.

We started to pack up and I refused Ed when she offered him to me. The way she hugged him made
me feel happy and I knew she'd take good care of him. The only way she'd accept him, though, was

to give me the rubber band around her wrist. That was pretty cool. It was blue and fit me just right.
Right before the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, she turned to me and smiled. Together, we

closed our eyes and made our wishes silently.
Please don't let her forget me in California.
That wish, at least, would be granted in time.

Watch the sea
Creep 'round the corner
It connects the dots
From here to you

~*~

Chapter Three

When the first letter finally came in September, for the rest of my third grade year, time didn't pass
with the acknowledgment of holidays or school programs. I was running on a fourteen day cycle. I

would check the mailbox every day, just in case. If I got one, I would read it immediately and
respond, sending the letter out the next day. Seven days for her to receive it, seven days for her

reply to arrive.
Sometimes we talked about school, because she had passed her test and was in the same grade as

me now. We commiserated over the evils of P.E., especially dodge ball. Her school was way different
than mine. She had to wear a name badge and her classes were so big that her teachers never

remembered to call her Bella. She told me about the San Francisco sunshine and beaches, and she
even sent me a sand dollar. I had to superglue it back together, but it was awesome. I mailed her a

pressed leaf from the trees here and drew her pictures of the rainy forests.
I found out that her mother had a new boyfriend and Bella hated him. He always rubbed her hair

the wrong way and called her 'sport.' At her request, I didn't send her anything for Christmas,

because she said that they didn't have enough money for presents. That made me sad enough that I
almost wanted to send her something anyway, just so she'd have something. But I didn't want her to

get mad at me, so I saved the new journal I'd already bought for her with my allowance to give to

her the next time she came home.
The letters reminded me of my music, starting out with a bang of excitement, slowly growing sadder

and more longing as the diminuendo of the year wore on. As we approached summer, though, they
took on a new wave of fresh life, building in a crescendo until the day finally came. Despite all my

begging and pleading, my parents refused to let me meet her at the airport, saying her father
needed a day with his daughter, blah, blah, blah…
But they promised. She would be here, tomorrow, the day after my ninth birthday.
.
"She's here!" I shouted from my bedroom, as I had been staring out my window since I woke up that
morning, waiting for Chief Swan to pull up in his cruiser. I pounded down the stairs and flew out to

the driveway, sweeping her up into a huge hug as soon as she was out of the car.
She giggled as I swung her around, while her dad climbed out and walked over to my parents on the

porch. My mom had her camera, just like last year, but I was too interested in Bella to listen to
whatever grownup stuff they were yapping about.
"I think you got shorter, Bella," I grinned as I set her down.
She narrowed her eyes at me, but she was still smiling too. "No, you just got taller, Eddie."
I scowled at her, surrendering. "Fine. I won't make fun of you for shrinking if you don't call

me…that."
"Deal," she grinned, reaching over to snap my rubber band against my wrist. I yelped, shaking my

hand out while I plotted my revenge. Her smile fell as she saw the calculating look in my eye and she
tried to run away, but I was faster. I threw her onto my back for a piggyback ride and strode past

our gaping parents up to my room. This time, I packed the bag for our trip.
"What are we gonna do today, Edward?" she smiled as she bounced a little on my bed.
I pushed my glasses nervously up my nose, my smile faltering as I realized she might be expecting
something more exciting than just hanging out at our tree.
"What's wrong?" she asked immediately.
"N-nothing," I stammered. "I just…I just thought we'd talk and stuff…at our tree…but if you wanna

do something else, we can. We can do whatever you want, Bella. My mom can take us to the park or
we co-"
"Why are you being weird?" she accused, standing from my bed and advancing on me.
Sighing, I plopped down in my desk chair. "I don't know. I guess I'm nervous because I don't want
you to have a bad time and stuff. But all I did was pack my bag so we could go hang out. I don't want

you to think I'm boring or dumb."
She scowled deeply. "You're making me mad. Quit being ridiculous. You're my Edward and I'm your

Bella and we're best friends always. All I wanted to know was if you were gonna play piano for me
again. Of course we're gonna go to our tree. Now c'mon."
That was the end of that. It was made perfectly clear that day to me that there was no room for
insecurities in our friendship, nor was there a reason. I liked her just as she was and she liked me

just the same. So I played her the newest song I learned and she loved it until I told her it was called
'Clowns.' Bella liked me, but she didn't like clowns.

After that we left for our tree, walking slowly so Bella didn't trip on roots or holes in the ground

or…air. She didn't have very good balance. Why her mom tried to make her take surfing lessons in
California I didn't know. Especially since she doesn't like the ocean either.
"How can you not like the ocean?" I wondered aloud.
"Sharks, killer whales, stingrays and giant waves, Edward. Plus, do you know how many people pee

in there?"
I had no argument against that kind of logic. We sat down in our spots at the tree as a light rain

began to fall.
"I miss the rain. It doesn't rain like this in San Francisco," she sighed wistfully as she watched clouds

roll above us.
I smiled sadly as I brought her Christmas present out of my backpack.
"What's that?" she asked suspiciously.
"Um…it's for you," I said lamely, thrusting it toward her. She frowned but took it anyway, opening it

slowly. It was a mostly plain journal, but it had a really cool picture of a tree that looked a lot like
ours. When her lips started to tremble, I panicked.
"I'm sorry! I know I wasn't supposed to, but I already had it when you said we couldn't do presents!

You don't have to take it. We can throw it away or you can take it back and get something else.
C'mon, Bella, please don't cry," I begged.
That didn't work. She just started full-on crying and trying to talk at the same time, and she's
completely incoherent when that happens.
"Bu-I-don-wan-it'so-ni-i-i-ce-bu-I-can-I-don-have-I-I-I," she blubbered. It was a good thing I packed
napkins for our lunch. I pushed a few into her hands, because I loved her, but I really didn't want to

have to touch her snot. She wiped her face, crying the whole time, so I tried the old standby.
Wrapping my arms around her, I just held her while I waited for her to calm down and told her

about how Emmett started playing catch with me and my dad. She had to quiet down to hear me tell
her the story about us trying out for the baseball team, even though I didn't make it.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Nah," I shrugged. "If I was on the team, I'd have to be at practice today like Emmett and I wouldn't

get to see you. You're way better than baseball."
She giggled, wiping her face again. "No. I meant, sorry for crying. I really like my present, Edward. I

just feel bad because I don't have anything for you, 'cause…"
"But I didn't get it for you 'cause I wanted a present, Bella," I interrupted. "I just wanted to give it to
you. It makes me happy when you're happy."
"How come you don't think I'm gross, Edward?" she asked suddenly. At my lack of response, she
continued. "All the boys at my school think girls are gross. The only time they talk to them are if

they're being mean. But you're always so nice to me."
"Uh…I dunno. I guess I never thought about it. I guess you're not a girl to me. You're just…my Bella.

Do you think I'm gross?" I asked, already knowing she didn't.
"No," she snorted. "You're just…my Edward. I missed you so much this year."
Tightening my arms around her as she wrapped hers around me, I whispered into her hair. "I
missed you, too."

Things were lighter after that, the rest of the day spent eating sandwiches and snacks, more tales of

the school year told. She tried to steal my last licorice, so I chased her in the rain until she slipped in
a puddle. I laughed at her, so she dared me to climb our tree as high as I could go.
The day passed too quickly and before I knew it, she was shivering and curled up against me as we
waited for the sun to set.
"I think this year I'm gonna get a calendar to mark when I get to come back," she whispered.
"Me, too. Good idea," I said quietly.
She watched the sun move slowly down the sky until it was time.
"You ready to make your wish?"
I swallowed hard and nodded.
Please let her stay.
No such luck. I might not be doing this right.

What if this storm ends?
And leaves us nothing
Except a memory
A distant echo

~*~

Chapter Four

Fourth grade started out okay. Somewhere along the way, Emmett decided that nobody was allowed

to pick on me but him, so my days passed by rather peacefully. In the evenings, he helped me with
my baseball pitch and I helped him with his math, even though he was a grade ahead. He even told

me it was a good thing I was a geek. It was a compliment, coming from him.
All of that came to a crashing halt in the middle of November. It had been fourteen days since Bella's
last letter, so I was expecting her next one any day. What I got, though, was my own letter with

Return to Sender stamped across the front in cruel, red ink. Upset and confused, I tore it open and
pulled out my letter, readdressing a new envelope immediately and checking it twice, satisfied that

it seemed to be done correctly. As a matter of fact, it looked the exact same as the first one, but I was
sure it was just a mistake with the post office. It had to be.
Fourteen days later, another Return to Sender. I thundered through the house and begged my mom
to explain. Concerned, she looked it over and told me perhaps it was a mistake and I should try

again. Tearfully, I informed her I had already done that. At a loss, she shrugged her shoulders and
then had to run to answer the phone.
From that point on, I just went through the motions. I went to school, came home, did my homework
and then sat in my room. If Emmett hounded me enough, I'd practice with him in the backyard, but I

didn't enjoy it. I picked out dark Beethoven and Grieg pieces to learn in my piano lessons, frustrated
and wanting an outlet for my black moods.

I alternated between confusion, anger, fear and sadness. It didn't make sense that Bella would just

send my letters back. Even if she made new friends and didn't want to talk to me anymore, I knew
she was a nice enough person to at least tell me that. She wouldn't just send it back. But why

wouldn't she just write me? What was the holdup? And I found myself angry at her. I was angry that
she was making me worry. Because the only way I could imagine that Bella wouldn't write to me

would be if something was wrong. And if there was something wrong with my best friend, I wanted
to help. But I couldn't, because I was a kid and I was here and I didn't even know what was wrong.
It felt like I'd lost the other half of me. Her friendship and caring had built me up in such a way that I
felt like nothing more than a shell without her. She knew everything about me. She knew I was

really scared of snakes and worms; she knew I wanted to be a racecar driver when I grew up, or
maybe a doctor. I was still undecided.
My parents knew something was wrong. I heard them arguing sometimes, because my dad thought I
shouldn't be friends with Bella if I was going to get this upset over her. My mom argued that

something must be really wrong, because at my begging request, she tried to call Bella's dad and ask
him about it, but he hadn't heard from her since Christmas. I didn't understand how he could go so

long without talking to her. It had been almost two months now since her last letter and I felt like I

was about to go insane.
Trudging inside the house on a Tuesday, or maybe a Thursday, I wasn't sure as the days all seemed

to blend together at that point; I was about to head upstairs to my room to do my homework when
my mom stopped me. Before I could ask her what she wanted, I saw it. She had a huge smile on her

face and a letter in her hand. I barely managed to squeak out a thank you and a huge smacking kiss
on her cheek before I was pounding up the stairs.
Throwing myself on my bed, I tore the envelope open and began to read.
Dear Edward
I am so sorry! Please don't be mad at me! I don't even know if your going to read this or if your to mad
at me, but I'm so sorry. I came home from school in November and my mom was packing all of our stuff

up. Her and Alec broke up and she was crying and said we had to move because we had to get away
from California. She's been so sad ever since. I don't know what happened but I'm glad. He was really

annoying. But I feel bad because now my mom is so sad. I hope that doesn't mean that I'm mean. He
said dude to much!
It took a while to get all of our stuff packed up and loaded into a truck. Some of it was really heavy. We

drove all of our stuff to Phoenix and thats where I live now. Thats in Arizona. That took a while to. Its
really different from New York and California and Forks. Its really dry and sunny every day it never

rains. Its to hot here. Theres real cactuses everywhere. I don't think I can mail that though. It took me
a long time to unpack all my stuff but I didn't have any stamps and my mom hasn't been able to do

much around here. We used a cactus for a Christmas tree. I know its weird. I learned how to cook! I
still like just poptarts for breakfast and my sandwiches for lunch but I make us dinner every night. I'm

getting pretty good. Maybe I can cook for you next time I come home.
It was a big mess to start school in the middle of the year and I had to do a lot of catch up because I

stayed home with my mom for a long time to help her feel better. But when my mom was trying to fix
the bills because the lights stopped working I was able to get a stamp. I'm going to help her pay them

since I do really good in math. I just need her to remember to by more stamps.
I miss you so much Edward! It feels even more farrer away from you here in Phoenix because theres no

water anywhere. Please don't be mad at me please. Your my only friend. I know you might be mad at
me now but I love you always.

I hope you write me back.
Bella
The blurred marks where she had cried over the letter mixed with smudges formed by my own

tears falling on her words. I read it through three times before running downstairs and begging my
mom for an extra book of stamps to send back to her. I barely saw her nod before I was racing up

the stairs again to write her back.
Dear Bella
I'm not mad at you! I promise. I was so worried about you. I even made my mom call your dad to find
out what was wrong but he didn't know. I was afraid maybe you didn't like me anymore but I kept

writing you letters and they kept getting sent back.
So Phoenix? I think I'm going to get a map to keep track of all the cities you've lived in. When we grow

up I want to travel with you. Where should we go? I still have my calendar and I mark the xes every
day.
I miss you so much too. Even if you were really mad at me I wouldn't stop writing you. I'd just bug you
until you talk to me again. We'll always be friends no matter what. But I hope your mom doesn't make

you move again.
Do you like it there? Have you made any new friends yet? Guess what? Emmett is nice to me now. Most
of the time. He doesn't beat me up anymore but he still calls me a geek. That's okay I guess since I am a

geek. But he doesn't let the other kids pick on me. He got even more taller this summer so now nobody
messes with him but they never really did anyway.
That's crazy that you can cook! I can only make sandwiches and I don't think my mom would let me
cook dinner. Maybe she could teach me so we can cook together.
I'm so glad your okay. I was so worried. Don't scare me like that again okay?
I love you and were always going to be best friends no matter where you live.
Bye
Edward
P.S. I'm sending you some stamps so you can write me back right away.
I sealed it and placed it in the mailbox right away. I didn't even care about my tenth birthday. June

twenty-first couldn't get here fast enough.
.
"You're heeeeeeeeeere!" I laughed as I swung her in circles. She was half-laughing from the

swinging and half-laughing from where my hands were on her, because Bella was really ticklish. She
was smiling and laughing too, but she looked tired. I set her down carefully while her dad watched

us. Tucking her hair back from where it had flown in her face, I smiled a little more. "I missed you,
Bella."
She exhaled heavily, her shoulders relaxing. "It's good to be home, Edward."
We didn't waste a lot of time at the house that day, not even bothering with the piano. She brought

her backpack, the same purple one from two years before, though it was a little faded. We waved
goodbye at our parents on the porch and marched off for our tree, no words good enough to betray

the comfortable silence between us while we walked. For the first time in a year, my best friend was
here with me, holding my hand and for now, that was all I needed.

We took our time so Bella could marvel at the slight changes to the landscape, like the tree in front

of Newton's store that was split by lightning a few storms ago. We stopped every so often to let her
pick up random stones and leaves for her collection. It didn't matter to me if we wandered around

all day. She was here and she was happy. When we finally reached our destination, she plopped
down in her spot straight away.
"Okay. I'm so glad we got here 'cause my bag was so heavy," she laughed, and I immediately felt bad
for not offering to carry it for her. That was part of Gentleman One-oh-one, my mother said. I made a

mental note to make sure I always did from now on.
Bella always knew when I was thinking hard and she also always seemed to know if I was thinking

something bad about myself or just thinking. Apparently worrying about being a proper gentleman
passed her inner test, because she continued speaking after watching me for a moment.
"I have a bunch of surprises, Edward. Close your eyes."
I obeyed, waiting impatiently. I expected candy or Ed or a book to read, but I got…
"A box?" I wondered, blinking at the package in my hands. "How did that fit in your backpack?"
"Very carefully," she retorted. "Just open it."
So I did. It was impossible to miss the shyness in Bella's face, the way her cheeks got pink when she

was worried. She was so ridiculous. She could have brought me sand from Arizona and I would have
loved it. Shaking my head, I pulled out the first item. Painfully.
"Ow!" I exclaimed, my pain forgotten as I focused on the flowered cactus that stuck me. "Bella. I'm a
boy. This is pink."
"But it's pretty!" she argued. "And it lives a long time. I dug it out of my own backyard."
"Really?"
She lifted up her hands to show me the cuts from her excavation.
"Really."
Smiling, I pulled out the next bit. It was a roll of papers inside a rubber band like the one of my
wrist. I waved them at her in question and she shrugged bashfully.
"It's the letters I wrote to you when I couldn't send them. It was a long two months," she said quietly.
"It was," I agreed, swallowing hard. I recognized the look on her face and knew she was about to

start crying. Shaking my head at her gently, I wrapped my arm around her silently while she
wrapped us up in Ed. "I'll always be here, Bella."
She sniffled, burrowing into my shoulder. "I'll always need you."
Me, too.
Sunset.
Wish.
Please let her be happy.
Nothing.
I hate sunsets.

Why don't you rest
Your fragile bones

A minute ago
You looked alone

~*~

Chapter Five

Fifth grade was…different. Emmett had moved on to middle school, so for the first time since I
started school, he wasn't there to pick on me. He also wasn't there to defend me against the others

either, but it seemed the memory of him was enough to keep people away for the most part. He and
I still practiced pitching and batting every night with my dad, and I was getting pretty good.
It was amazing how much happier I was when I knew Bella was safe and happy. Things were going
really good in Phoenix, so it seemed I had been a little premature with my cursing of sunsets. They

were back on my good list now. I was usually playing outside when they happened and I always
stopped for a second to watch the sun disappear. If I could. Emmett loved to try and catch me

unaware when we were in the middle of a practice. Oaf.
School flew by and I tried out for the baseball team again. This time, I made it. Emmett warned me

not to let the team down, my mom made me pose for pictures in my uniform, my dad clapped me on
the shoulder a little too hard, but Bella…Bella gushed for three pages about how excited she was for

me. She went on and on about all the friends I'd make, how she knew we'd win every game, if we did
lose it would be because the other team was cheaters, and how much she wished she could watch

me play.
Her life was pretty peaceful in Phoenix. Her mom decided to start taking some kind of meditation
classes and had 'sworn off men.' I asked Bella what that meant, but she didn't know either. She said

as far as she could tell, it just meant that her mom did yoga all over the house and didn't cry over
guys anymore. She and her mom had taken a pottery class together and Bella loved it. Since all she

had to do was sit, there wasn't much chance of her getting bruised or breaking a limb. She just had
to steer clear of everything after it was baked. But she was bringing me something in June and I

couldn't wait. I just hoped it wasn't something pink again.
Baseball was awesome. I got some funny looks from some of the other guys on the team, but they

never said anything because Emmett was right there. Between practice, piano lessons and games,
before I knew it I was blowing out eleven candles on my birthday cake. And a piece saved for Bella

to have after she watched my game tomorrow.
.
"Oh, I'm so glad it's not pink," I muttered under my breath as Bella held out the pencil jar she made
for me. Smiling, I spoke up so she could hear me. "I love it, Bella. Thanks."
She grinned at me before stepping back a few feet. "Look." As she turned around, I realized she was

wearing a Junior Spartans t-shirt. With my name and number!
"I'm your number one fan!" she exclaimed. "My dad helped me make it. Do you like it?"
Grinning like a dope, I pulled her in for a hug. "I guess I don't have to ask if you're gonna root for me,
huh?"

She giggled, letting me lead her by the hand to my parent's Volvo. Emmett was talking my dad's ear

off about strategies and weaknesses the whole way to the baseball diamond. Bella was watching the
scenery as we drove and I was watching her. She'd gotten a little taller over the last year, but she

was still a lot shorter than me. Her hair was still really dark, but there were lighter colors in it now
too, I guessed from the sun.
She looked happy. I hoped I hit a homerun today. She'd love that.
When we got to the ballpark, which was the same one that the high school kids used, Emmett and I

jogged over to our team's bench while Bella went with my parents to sit on the bleachers. More
parents slowly filed in until we were finally ready to start.
I pitched two innings and I could hear Bella's voice above all the rest cheering me on. As I was
waiting for my turn to bat, Mike Newton tried to razz me about Bella. At first he wanted to know if I

had a sister my parent's had been hiding, then he wanted to know if I paid her to be my friend, and
then he wanted to know if she knew she was going to have four-eyed geek babies.
That was right about where Emmett 'accidentally' nailed him in the stomach with a bat on his way
up to the plate. Mike stopped after that. Mostly. He stilled coughed 'loser' every time I passed him,

but after I stepped on his foot with my cleats, he shut up for good. Jerk.
I didn't hit a homerun, but I did score once and I caught a pop-fly that ended the game, Spartans: six,
Wolves: four. They let me keep the game ball and I was torn. Most of me wanted to give it straight to

Bella, but a little part of me wanted to give it to Emmett for taking care of Newton for me. But he'd
won the game for us tons of times and Bella wouldn't get another chance until next year, so…
"Hey Em? It was really cool that you got Newton to shut up back there. But I really wanna give this to
Bella, if you don't mind?" I asked quietly.
He elbow-cuffed me in the back of the head and ran ahead of me to our parents. To those not fluent
in the language of Emmett, that meant he was fine with it. I ran over to Bella, holding it out for her.
"For me?" she squeaked, an ear-to-ear smile across her face. She threw her arms around my neck,
hugging the breath out of me. "Thank you, Edward!"
I grinned down at her as I set her back on the ground. "You ready to go have some birthday cake?"
She nodded and we walked together back to the car and loaded up into the backseat. When we got

back to the house, she smiled shyly at my mom.
"Miss Esme, can I make lunch for all of you today?"
My mom nodded, asking if she needed any help, to which Bella shook her head.
"No. But thank you. Edward, will you keep me company?"
I laughed, but nodded anyway. Like she needed to ask. I took her to the kitchen and let her mess

with stuff while I got my birthday cake out of the fridge.
"What're you gonna make?" I asked suspiciously as she got out tomatoes. I was not about to eat

salad for anybody.
"Grilled ham and cheese with tomatoes. It's my favorite. Is that okay?" she asked worriedly. It

sounded weird, but she looked like she really wanted to make it.
"Yeah," I agreed hesitantly. She sparked back to life, buttering bread and slicing tomatoes for the

sandwiches. I watched her closely when she was using the knife, but didn't speak so I didn't distract
her. It would ruin the day if we had to go to the hospital because she needed stitches. After what felt

like forever, she was finally finished with that, so I just had to watch her while she was grilling the

sandwiches to make sure she didn't burn herself.
"Did you make this up yourself?" I wondered, because it actually smelled pretty good. "And you

better make Emmett at least three. He eats like a pig."
She laughed and nodded. "No, I had this at a diner once between San Francisco and Phoenix. I know

you hate vegetables, but they're really good, I swear."
"Alright," I sighed. "But if it's gross I'm stealing your piece of cake."
"Oh, just shut up. Okay, so three for Emmett, one for your mom, one for your dad, one for me and
one for you? Seven? Should I make a couple of extras just in case?" she frowned in thought.
"Can I have two? I'm starving," I whined.
She rolled her eyes, flipping sandwiches onto plates like a pro. "Oh, but what if they're gross?"
"I'm going to go chew on a plate until you stop picking on me," I grumbled, pretending to walk away.
As soon as her back was turned, I snagged one of the sandwiches off the counter and took off.
"Edward!" she screeched from the kitchen, but I was already racing up the stairs to get my
backpack. I headed back downstairs quickly before she came up here and killed me. She was

waiting for me as soon as I walked in, her foot tapping on the kitchen tile and her body placed

directly in front of the plate of sandwiches.
Her hair was kind of frizzy from the rain that would be coming in later that day and her nose was

scrunched up as she scowled at me with her arms crossed. Before I could help it, a chuckle burst
out.
"A-Are you laughing at me?" she gaped. I could tell she was still irritated with me as she had her
hands on her hips. But standing in front of her, I realized that while she might have grown a couple

of inches in the last year, I'd grown at least four and I was already way taller than her to begin with.
And she looked really tiny standing there trying to look all mad and scary.
"No. Yes. No. Not really. You just…you just…look like an angry kitten that got its fur rubbed the
wrong way," I choked out before bursting into laughter. She was trying to stay mad, but Bella always

caught the giggles when people around her laughed. I just needed to help this along. I started to
creep towards her, but she realized what I was doing and tried to run. I never knew why she

bothered when it always ended the same way. I would chase. I would catch. I would tickle. Facts of
life.
So I chased her around the island in the kitchen. I caught her before she could trip on the doorjamb.

And then I lifted her up off the ground while I tickled her sides with no mercy.
"Edward! Stop!" she squealed, trying to twist away from me. All that did was make both of us tumble

to the ground, her on top of me while I kept tickling her. Emmett stepped over us, following the
scent of food and mumbling a thank you to Bella through a mouthful of sandwich. I doubt she heard

it over my laughing and her screaming, though.
I noticed my mom taking some pictures of us before my dad called for us to break it up. I stopped

and she jumped off of me immediately, wiping tears off of her flushed face.
"I am never making you sandwiches again, Edward Cullen!"
"Aww," I whined. "But it was so good. I couldn't help it. I'm a growing boy."
She rolled her eyes at me and shook her head, leaving me on the ground while she went to go join

my family for lunch.

Everybody thought she was a great cook and she blushed bright red when they all thanked her. My

mom was being really embarrassing by showing her a bunch of pictures of me in my baseball
uniform and from Halloween and stuff. When she started talking about baby albums, I decided

lunch was done.
"Okay! We have to go now. Say goodbye, Bella."
"Goodbye, Bella," she snickered. Emmett snorted and elbow-cuffed her in the back of her head,
which meant he liked her. It also meant my dad yelled at him and my mom was too distracted with

the two of them to stop us from leaving.
"Aww. You didn't want to let your mom show me baby pictures?" she giggled.
I glared at her, pursing my lips. "Well, it's not exactly fair, you know. She shows you a bunch of
embarrassing pictures but I don't get to see any of you."
"How come we never sent pictures before?" she frowned.
"I dunno," I shrugged. "I guess I never thought about it. We can start this year?"
"Okay," she nodded, almost tripping on a root. She caught herself without help and I ate my smile so
she didn't get mad at me again.
"So what were you for Halloween last year? You saw my pirate costume."
She eyed me sideways, shaking her head. "I don't want to tell you."
Halting in my tracks, I gaped at her, upset. "Why not?"
She read my hurt expression and sighed. "Because you'll make fun of me."
"No, I won't," I replied automatically. I'd never do anything to hurt her feelings.
She let out a deep, noisy breath before looking away from me.
"A cat," she mumbled.
I tried. I really did. But when she looked back at me with her lips twitching, I couldn't help it. I was
on the ground laughing and she just rolled her eyes and waited for me to finish while she tried to

hide her own smile. After a few minutes, she got bored and started to walk off without me. I got up
immediately and caught up with her, throwing my arm around her shoulders.
"I'm sorry. I am. It's just.." I trailed off to keep from exploding into laughter again. She elbowed me,
but kept walking.
"Yeah, yeah."
"You know what this means, don't you?" I asked straight-faced.
"No."
"Oh yes. Every time you get mad now, I'm going to have to call you kitten until you smile," I nodded
firmly.
She snorted. "Then you'd probably better start right about now." And then she took off running for
our tree.
"Kitten!" I wailed dramatically, taking off after her. "Don't leave me, kitten!"
She laughed loudly as she skidded to a stop at our tree with me right on her tail. Bending over to

catch her breath, she panted out heavily. "Are you done now?"

"For now," I gasped out. Collapsing down to the ground, I tossed my pack off. I opened it up and

pulled out my new pocketknife.
"What's that for?" Bella asked with wide eyes.
"Relax," I laughed. "It's for this."
Turning around, I very carefully chipped away at the bark of the tree.
E
'+'
B
"Now it's really our tree!" she clapped, grinning. I nodded, happy and proud with her approval.
Shoving my knife back down in my bag, I pulled out my licorice. "It's gonna be time soon. You wanna
just sit?"
"Yeah," she said quietly, taking a rope and chewing it while she rested her head on my shoulder.
I'd heard in my English class that year that our 'magic time' was called twilight. Just before it

happened, I set my head down on hers.
Please don't let anything change in middle school.
I had no idea.

I chase my blood
From brain to thumped heart
Until I'm out of breath
For trying

~*~

Chapter Six

We never got around to sending pictures that year. If I thought fifth grade was different, then sixth

grade was another planet. Towards the end of summer, I hit a grand slam in our championship
game that won us the trophy. Every single guy on the team congratulated me, even Mike Newton. By

my first name too, not geek. Unfortunately, my glasses fell while I was running around the bases, so
they had to be replaced. My mom picked out some thinner ones that were more in fashion, she said.
They felt flimsy and crooked, but nobody called me 'Four-eyes' anymore. Nobody really called me
any names anymore. Winning that game had earned me a 'cool' spot with the guys. And that would

have been a big enough adjustment, if it weren't for…the girls.
Every time I would try to pass a worksheet to the person behind me in class, if it was a girl, I had to

wait. Because she would be busy powdering her face or brushing her hair or putting on lip stuff that
smelled way too sweet.
I asked Bella about it and she told me that she'd been going to school with girls who wore makeup

since fifth grade. She assured me she didn't touch the stuff and I was extremely relieved.

But it wasn't just the makeup stuff that was freaking me out. It was these socials they started having.

There was a 'Fall Sadie Hawkins' dance. A 'Winter Wonderland' dance. Valentine's Day. It felt like
there was a dance every month. Girls that used to walk by me and pretend that I stunk were now

leaving notes in my locker with lipstick kisses inside.
At first I tried to stay far away from it all. But the guys from my baseball team started wanting to

come over and hang out at my house afterschool, and we would talk about stuff while we played
video games. Everybody had a pair of skate shoes, so I got some, too. I switched out my polo shirts

for baggy tees. They would brag about getting notes from the same girls I was getting notes from
and talk about kissing and stuff. I would laugh and nod and grunt like the rest of them, but I didn't

understand what was happening.
Everybody acted the same. Carefree. Easygoing. Bad grade on a test? No big deal. Detention? Cool.

And at first it was exhausting to act that way, which didn't make sense to me. Because should it
really take so much effort to be so laid back? I did worry if I got a bad grade. The thought of getting a

detention terrified me. Not to mention the kissing. I got notes from five different girls daily. Girls
that giggled at anything and everything and followed us everywhere. I was constantly on the run.
Keeping up with it all took a lot of time and effort. I started taking a few days to write Bella back and

my letters were shorter, because I didn't know how to tell her what was going on. She didn't talk
about lipstick or fruity perfumes or dances. She still talked about science projects and books. The

guys didn't really like any of that stuff, so I was trying not to as well. So I wouldn't write back stuff
about school, I just told her about the other stuff going on. The cool stuff. And she tried to take an

interest and ask questions about video games and stuff, but she sounded really mad about some of
it. It was like she was completely different from the other girls in my grade.
A little voice tried to whisper in the back of my head that I was the same kind of different too, but I
didn't listen. I had friends. Friends to play games with, friends to eat pizza with, friends to do cool

stuff with. Like the time we had a campout in Eric Yorkie's backyard and snuck out to TP Ben
Cheney's house. I felt kind of bad about that, since Ben was in all of my advanced classes and he'd

always seemed really nice. Or there was the time Tyler Crowley stole one of his mom's cigarettes for
us to try. Everybody coughed and hacked, but we tried it. I took two showers and brushed my teeth

three times before dinner just so my parents wouldn't find out.
And over time, it became easy to be just like them. Because I was one of them. So I didn't really

notice when Bella's last letter sat unopened on my desk for two weeks before I responded. It didn't

occur to me that I was just skimming her letters and only answering back direct questions before
sending them back. My mom didn't listen to me play piano anymore, because I didn't really practice

ever. Emmett didn't bug me to play catch in the backyard and I didn't help him with his math
anymore. Life was just…whatever, and I was cool.
It never really hit me until I got a letter from Bella at the end of May.
Edward,
I'm not sure if you're going to read this before my visit in June, but I just wanted to know if you wanted
me to come visit you. If I don't hear back from you, I'll figure out not to come over. Talk to you later.

Just in case, happy twelfth birthday.
Bella
That was it. Her whole letter. What the heck? How could she think I wouldn't want to see her?
Thinking back, I thought over anything in my letters that would have suggested I didn't. When I

couldn't think of anything, I shrugged it off and sent her back a quick note.
Bella,

Of course I want to see you. June 21st. Best friends forever. See you then.
Edward
I hadn't been able to think of anything else to say, because I couldn't really remember what her last

letter was about and I needed to meet the guys at the park in fifteen. I stamped the envelope and
stuck it in the mailbox on my way out.
.
"Edward."
"Edward."
"Edward! Wake up or I'm getting a spray bottle!"
I jumped awake, squinting at the bright light in my room. I'd stayed up late after my birthday party
playing Halo online with the guys. Lauren and Jessica kept trying to log on and bug us, but we just

ignored them. Groaning, I stretched out.
"Geez, Edward. You look really tired. Did you sleep okay?" Bella asked worriedly.
"Yeah," I yawned. "Just playing with the guys. The chicks wouldn't leave us alone."
"O-kaaaay," she said slowly, standing up from my bed.
"'Sup?"
"'Sup?" she echoed, frowning. "Um…nothing. I just thought you would want to get up and change.
Are we still going to hang out today?"
"Yeah. 'Course. That'll be cool."
"Why are you talking like that?" she asked.
"I'm not talking like anything. Just chill, Bella. Let me get dressed and we'll go."
"Yeah. Okay," she mumbled, leaving to give me some privacy.
I stared up at my ceiling for a moment. Relaxed and carefree didn't sound like it agreed with Bella.
Sighing, I got up and dressed. When I was done, I came downstairs to find Bella waiting quietly in

the kitchen. She looked up when I walked in and scrunched up her eyebrows for a minute before
shaking her head and standing up. My mom put a couple of muffins in my hand and ushered us out

the door, calling out good luck after us. Not sure what for.
As we walked together quietly, it didn't feel like it normally did. Bella seemed tense, which was

making me tense and I wasn't used to that anymore. I wasn't sure if I liked it and tried to break the
awkward silence.
"So. What've you been up to?"
She smiled nervously at me.
"Riley and I ended up winning first place," she offered. Who was Riley? At my blank look, she

continued, her shoulders dropping a bit.
"The science fair," she added quietly.
"Oh. Er, good job," I complimented, feeling even more uncomfortable now. I didn't remember
anything about a science fair. This was so confusing. When I acted like this with the guys or even in

front of the girls, it seemed cool. But with Bella, it seemed like it was hurting her feelings. That was
something I never wanted to do. That I did care about.

"Thanks," she mumbled.
I nodded, uncomfortable as I tried to think about something to talk about. Most of the stuff I got up
to with the guys, she didn't like. And standing in front of her, I swallowed hard at the thought of

having to see her be disappointed in me. Trying to steel myself, I reasoned that I should just keep
those two Edwards separate.
With the guys, I'd still be the cool me, but I couldn't be that guy with Bella. I'd just suffer through
being the old me and hope she didn't notice that I was a little rusty. We made our way to the tree

and sat down, but Bella didn't make a move to open up her bag.
Staring out across the field, she spoke first. "Why'd you tell me to come, Edward?"
"Because you always come. You have to. I only get one day a year," I pointed out, confused as to why
she would even ask.
"But are we even really friends anymore? You don't have any idea what I'm doing down in Phoenix
and I have no idea who you are," she argued softly.
"I'm still me, Bella. Things just got a little busy this year," I defended, but even to my own ears it
sounded lame.
"Edward, I get being busy. I've never had so much homework to do in my life. But do you seriously

think it's okay to blow me off for Mike Newton?" she asked, her voice spitting out his name like it
tasted bad in her mouth.
"Hey! I haven't been blowing you off. And there's nothing wrong with Mike."
"Right," she scoffed. "Nothing at all wrong with Mike Newton. I must be thinking of some other guy

that used to threaten to punch you if you didn't let him cheat on your tests."
I opened my mouth to retort, but she kept going. "Or maybe you're hanging out with a different Eric,

because you couldn't possibly be talking about the same Eric that used to throw water on the front
of your pants and then claim you wet yourself."
"Hey!" I yelled. "Quit badmouthing my friends!"
"I'm not," she stated plainly. "All I'm doing is listing off the crap they used to do. Not that long ago,

either. It's not my fault that what they did sounds bad when you say it out loud."
"Well, you don't have to bring it up," I argued. "They're not like that anymore."
"Mm-hm," she hummed sarcastically. "Tell me something. Would they still be your friends if you
hadn't won that game, Edward? Why weren't they your friends before you got new glasses or those

stupid shoes? Are they really not 'like that' anymore, or have they just stopped being like that to

you, for now? Because real friends are still there whether you win or lose and I don't think those
guys would be anywhere around."
"What? So now they're not real friends?" I sneered.
"You already know they're not. If they were, you could be the real you around them and they'd still

like you," she snapped.

"Who says this isn't the real me, Bella? I like how I am now. Don't you want me to be happy?"
It was a low blow and I knew it. All she ever wanted was for me to be happy. All the anger on her

face turned to shock.
"Of course I do. I love you."

For the first time, hearing that just made me feel worse. "Can we just drop it now?"
She chewed on her bottom lip for a minute before nodding and reaching into her bag. "Yeah, okay. I
think I'm just going to read for a little while."
"Yeah. Okay," I mumbled. She looked anywhere but me as she handed me a gaming magazine.
Every minute that ticked away that day felt like a waste. She was only here one day a year and we

spent the first half of the morning fighting and the second half not even speaking to each other. I
knew she was still upset and I still was too, a little bit.
At one point, I would have dropped anything or anyone for Bella without a second thought. And I
probably still would, but I really didn't want to. Sure, all the changes had been weird at first, but

they didn't ask me to change. I just fit in better that way. Most of the stuff they did was harmless,
mostly. It just felt good to be included for once. Why couldn't she understand that?
We barely spoke the whole day, not even during lunch. Now there was so much I wanted to ask her,
but I didn't want her to know I'd barely read her letters over the last few months. But the worst part

of the day came at sunset. As the clouds turned pink and orange, she didn't lean against me and let
me wrap my arm around her. She was already loading everything into her backpack, like she was

just waiting for twilight and then she'd run.
"I'm just going to go straight to Charlie's after, okay?" she asked, her eyes fixed on the ground.
"You want me to walk you?" I offered hopefully.
She ducked her head down, her hair falling to hide her face. "Nah. Don't worry about it."
Right as the sun disappeared, she turned towards the sky and closed her eyes. She was only a foot

away, but it felt like a mile. Once we'd both made our wishes, she stood up and brushed herself off.
"'Bye, Edward."
And then she was gone. I watched her disappear through the trees, wanting to stop her, wanting to
go with her, wanting to rewind this whole messed up day and fix it somehow. After a couple of

minutes, I realized I couldn't let her leave to go back to Phoenix like this. Watching her walk away
didn't feel like 'goodbye until next year.' It felt more like 'goodbye forever.'
Gentleman one-oh-one. Always escort the lady safely home. Decision made. Running after her in the
direction she left, I didn't have to go far before I found her. She was sitting on the ground, her knees

bent up to her chest as she sniffled quietly into them. Running over to her, I checked all over her to
make sure she didn't fall. When I didn't see any scrapes or bruises, I realized she was just really

upset. And I had a bad feeling it was because of me.
Squatting down next to her, I tugged on her hand to get her to look at me. "What's wrong?"
Wiping away tears that just kept falling, she locked eyes with me, her voice watery. "That's what's

wrong. My Edward would know. But you don't have a clue."
"I don't," I agreed sadly. "But you can't go back to Phoenix mad at me, kitten. Please."
She huffed, rolling her eyes. "Don't call me that."
"C'mon," I coaxed. "I already messed up the whole day. Gimme one smile. One hug. It's all I'm

asking."
She blinked back the rest of her tears, making my chest ache with every one that fell because of me.
"One hug. No smiles. C'mere," she said after several painful moments. Choking out a laugh, I threw
my arms around her, sending us both to the ground.

Pulling back, I saw she was clenching her jaw to keep from smiling.
"Smile, kitten, or you're gonna get the Claw," I threatened, holding up my hand to show her I wasn't
bluffing.
Throwing her hands out to guard herself, she laughed. "No! No. I'm smiling. Put it away."
Wrapping her up in one more hug, I made myself a promise. This year, I wasn't going to wait for my

wish to come true. I was going to make it.
We're going to be okay.
But please, just in case.
It never hurt to be careful.

These accidents
Of faith and nature
They tend to stick
In the spokes of you

~*~

Chapter Seven

The rest of summer after Bella left was a blur. The night after I walked her home, I ran all the way

back to my house and stayed up until the sun rose the next morning to pour through all the letters
I'd only glanced at before. And it spurred so much in me.
Bella had made friends in Phoenix. A lot of friends, by the sound of things. She and a girl named Bree

had formed a creative writing club that alternately read classics and their own original stories.
Pages I had once dismissed for their lack of direct questions, I now read with a proud grin as I

recognized Bella's own prose and short stories. Her friend Bree sounded almost as nice as my Bella.
Bree's twin brother Riley, on the other hand, I wasn't so sure about. I was really proud of the

underwater volcano that he and Bella had created for their science fair entry, and I had to admit
that his use of crystals in the habitat was a really good idea, but his…everything worried me. It was

unbelievable how many times she mentioned him in her letters. He was her science partner. He was
her gym partner. He was in her writing club. He was a huge part of her life that I couldn't touch. Not

cool. I didn't like the feeling of being replaceable.
All of sixth grade it had never even occurred to me that Bella might not always be there. It never

even crossed my mind that she might one day do to me what I had done to her. I thought about how I
felt when I was waiting for her letters two years before. That had almost destroyed me. But then I

turned around and did it to her!
No matter how many friends I made, she would always be my first. My absolute best friend and I

couldn't lose her, ever.
Me and the guys weren't hanging out as much at the moment, because things were kind of weird.
When I had tried to talk to them about Bella, they shut me down, talking about how all girls were

the same. I could tell the second I opened my mouth that they didn't want to hear me 'cry about a

girl.' A little voice that sounded like Bella started nudging me again, pointing out that real friends

would always care, but I didn't listen. Again.
On top of being dramatic, I've also always been a bit stubborn.
So I sort of fell into a routine, where no matter how late I stayed out with the guys doing whatever, I
always wrote to Bella before I went to bed, even if it was just a few lines. I apologized, because even

though I hadn't meant to, I did blow her off for the guys and it wasn't fair. She didn't ditch me just
because she made friends.
I couldn't help but be a little jealous of her. I'd had big plans to enter my school's science fair at the
beginning of sixth grade, but I'd let it go when the other guys laughed at the fliers and ripped them

off the wall. I wondered what they'd say if I entered this year's competition. And she had her
creative writing. Bella's writing was like what my piano was to me. Or at least what it used to be.

The guys didn't even know I played. They thought it was my mom's. At least I still had baseball. That
was where I didn't have to think about anything but the game. There was no façade to keep up, no

role to play.
So I walked into seventh grade not having any idea what to expect after all the changes of last year.

The whole school was buzzing about a new kid and the guys were already making plans. If he was

cool, he'd be with us. If he wasn't, they already had three pranks in the works. We were hovering
around the front of the school when I saw him. And I felt really sorry for him, because he didn't

stand a chance.
He was wearing a plaid button-down shirt tucked into khakis that were about an inch too short. His

blond hair was curly and frizzy and sticking out everywhere. He was me from two years ago, with
the addition of braces and only missing the glasses.
Mike and Tyler were arguing back and forth about who was going to go first, but Eric stole whatever
was in their hands before they could decide. He ran right up to the new kid and slammed a water

balloon right at his crotch. Then he started running around, screaming and pointing and laughing at
the new kid that peed himself.
Right then was when it all seemed to come clear to me. Bella had been right. They were the same
mean kids they'd always been, it just hadn't been me they were mean to for awhile. Looking down at

myself, I sneered at the stupid shoes that made me hip-check doorframes on a daily basis because of
their stupid wheels. My stupid, wire-framed glasses slid down my nose, as always feeling crooked

and flimsy on my face.
I was really mad at what Eric had just done and all the rest of the kids that were standing around
the new kid laughing, but I was the maddest at myself. This wasn't me, it never had been and I

wasn't happy like this. Striding away from the guys, I left that group forever, whether they knew it at
the moment or not and walked up to the new kid.
"Hey. I'm Edward. Do you want me to show you the nurse's office? She has some extra clothes in
there for accidents."
He glared up at me with wet eyes. "I didn't have an accident," he spat.
"I know!" I assured him. "I saw what he did. I'm sorry about him. He's just…an idiot. I just meant she

has extra clothes for when kids need 'em."
I shuffled awkwardly on my feet waiting for him to respond. I couldn't really blame him if he didn't

trust me. He'd probably seen me standing right next to the rest of them when he got attacked. After
a beat, he nodded hesitantly and I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"If you want, I can walk in front of you," I offered. He smiled at me and nodded again, less reluctantly

this time. I guided him inside, ignoring the gaping looks on all the guys' faces. We got admitted to
the nurse's office and I was given permission to wait with him so I could show him to all of his

classes. We had to wait for awhile for the nurse to come in.
"Why are you helping me? Is this another trick?" he asked quietly, almost like he was expecting me

to say yes. Again, I couldn't blame him. I looked just like the rest of them.
Shaking my head, I tried to choose my words carefully. "It's really not. But I wouldn't be surprised if

they're not done pranking you. When they pick somebody, they never let up." I sighed,
remembering all the things they used to do to me.
"I saw you with them. Are you friends with them?" he asked, genuine curiosity in his eyes.
"I was. But I'm not anymore. I never should've been in the first place," I said firmly. He nodded in

response, probably still trying to figure me out.
"So you're not going to 'help me to my classes' by locking me in the janitor's closet?" he asked

blankly. "'Cause it's happened to me before."
"Me, too," I admitted quietly. "They used to do stuff to me like that all the time."
"Then why were you friends with 'em?" he gaped.
"I don't know," I swallowed thickly. "I guess because they didn't do it to me for awhile so I thought
they were different. Or maybe I just wanted to have friends for once so I didn't care who they were.

It doesn't matter. It was stupid. I was stupid."
"Yeah. That does sound pretty stupid."
I jerked my head towards him only to find him grinning. I laughed, making my glasses slip down
again.
"Argh," I groaned. "I hate these glasses. My old ones were thicker and stayed put better."
"You could always break 'em. Then your parents would have to buy you new ones," he suggested.

"'Course, if you get thick ones you're gonna look like a geek."
"I am a geek," I grinned, already making a plan to snap those stupid wire frames as soon as I got

home. "And I can't wait to prove it to everybody tomorrow."
"I'll believe it when I see it," he grinned, shaking his head. He held out his hand toward me. "So,

Stupid-I'm-a-geek-Edward. I'm Jasper. It's nice to meet you."
Everything changed that day. I helped Jasper to all of his classes and if I had to guess, the guys were

too busy being confused by my sudden change in behavior to mess with him. That day afterschool, I

'accidentally' snapped my glasses in two and my mom rushed me to the optometrist. I picked out
the thickest frames they had. She smiled at me curiously, but didn't ask. She wasn't quite so

agreeable when I begged her to take me back-to-school shopping when we'd already done that two
weeks before, but she eventually relented. I'd be washing dinner dishes for a month, but she took

me.
Oh, polo shirts. How I missed you.
The next morning, Emmett choked on his waffles when I walked into the kitchen. He'd barely
spoken three words to me since I started hanging out with the guys, but he had plenty of words for

me that day. Between disgustingly huge bites of food, he mumbled and spit out words like, 'about
time,' and 'Geekward.' When he passed me to take his plate to the sink, he elbow-cuffed me in the

back of my head and told me to be ready to teach him pre-algebra that night or he'd stuff me in my

locker. We were all good again.
Jasper and I were pretty much inseparable at school. It wasn't hard to be, since we were in five out

of six honors' classes together. I wasn't sure if there was strength in numbers or what, but the guys,
my old supposed 'friends' just pretty much acted like we didn't exist. We pretty much treated them

the same way. I decided to not try out for the baseball team again.
We had so much fun together. Real fun. He played classical guitar and we would mess around in my

music room for hours. When I told him about Bella, he listened with interest. He told me that he'd
only had one friend back in Texas where he came from, but he never thought about writing letters.

He didn't seem too worried about it, though. And he never minded if I worked on a letter to her
while he read comics in my room.
Bella thought Jasper sounded awesome. She told me that she framed the picture I sent her of the
two of us when we were waiting in line for the new Batman movie. I told her if she wanted to, she

could meet him when she visited that summer. I could tell she was nervous about meeting him, but
she agreed. It went without saying that we'd still go to our tree together for sunset. That would

always be just for us.
.
That year for my thirteenth birthday, Jasper stayed over so he could hang out with me and Bella in

the morning. Even though we stayed up kind of late the night before watching a Friday the 13th
marathon, we woke up early the next day. And it turned out Jasper was just as nervous about

meeting Bella as she was. Maybe even a little bit more.
"What are you worried about, Jazz? Bella's really cool. She's gonna like you fine," I told him, for

probably the tenth time. But it didn't seem to have any effect on him at all. He just kept bouncing his
leg up and down.
"But…I know you and me are best friends, but she's your best friend. If she doesn't like me, you'll
totally ditch me," he argued, his shoulders slumping.
"That's not true!" I argued. "Look, even if Bella doesn't like you, which she will, she'd never ask me
to ditch you."
"But you would if it made her happy. You should see your face when you talk about her. It's
like…she's everything to you."
I didn't really know what to say to that. He was right, mostly. She was everything to me. But it

wouldn't make her happy if I gave up my only other friend just because she didn't like him. Which
she would. Before I could say anything, he started up again.
"And I just know I'm gonna be a total loser in front of her. Girls freak me out, Ed. I don't know how
you deal with Lauren and Jessica hanging around all the time," he sighed, shaking his head.
"Painfully," I grimaced, thinking of how they always hovered by my locker and asked me what I was
doing that weekend. It didn't make any sense to me, because every time, I'd say 'nothing' and then

they'd go find the jocks who were waiting to take them wherever they wanted. "Look, Bella's not
like those girls. She's not even really like a girl. She's just…Bella. You'll see. You're gonna love her."
"Who's gonna love who?" Bella asked from my doorway with a grin. I jumped up from my bed and
picked her up in a huge hug, swinging her around.
"Every year, you just get shorter," I grinned as I set her down. She stared at me for awhile, the
biggest smile on her face as she looked me over. At my big, black glasses, my blue polo tucked into

my jeans and my plain, brown boots. She shook her head and stepped back from me, her smile

dropping.
"I did not get shorter, Eddie!"
I scowled at her as I heard Emmett down the hall laughing his head off, joined by Jasper's snickers
coming from behind me. Lifting up my hands in surrender, I backed away slowly.
"Alright, fine. You clearly grew at least half an inch. Forgive me," I mocked, moving to the side so she
could see Jasper. "Bella, this is my best friend Jasper. Jasper, this is my Bella."
She smiled at him, waving shyly. He returned the gesture, looking nervously from her to me. I
groaned, rolling my eyes.
"Guys, c'mon. Don't be weird. Bella, he's like a blond version of me. He doesn't bite. Jazz, it's Bella.
There's probably something wrong with her, but I haven't found it yet. You guys'll get along great if

you just, you know, speak. To each other," I added.
Silence.
"Oh, come on!"
"Um…Edward told me you guys learned a new song? Could I hear it?" Bella asked quietly. Jasper's

face immediately went green.
"Sure! That sounds great!" I grinned, grabbing Jazz by his collar and hauling him up. Still smiling, I
spoke lowly as we followed Bella out of my room. "Relax, Jasper. It'll be fine."
"I can't play in front of a girl," he hissed under his breath, too low for Bella to hear.
"Jasper, please. I only see her one day a year and I totally screwed up last time. I need to make it up

to her. If you help me do this for her, I'll…" I trailed off, trying to think of something to bargain with.
"I'll give you the Riddler."
He stopped in his tracks as Bella continued down the stairs unaware. "You'll give me your Detective
Comics Issue One-forty Introducing Edward Nigma As the Riddler? Just to play a song?" he asked, his

voice cracking. After a beat, he shook his head. "Geez, you're crazy for this girl. Look, I'm not takin'
your comic book, but I'll do it. You owe me. Big-time."
"No, it's yours. Take it," I insisted. I knew it was hard for him to perform in front of people. It took
him a month to let my mom listen in.
"No, you're my friend. You don't have to buy me off just to get me to do you a favor. I'll do it. But if
she laughs at me or I faint, we never speak of it again," he said firmly, walking past me to head

downstairs. I followed after him into the music room where Bella was waiting on the couch. He took

his seat by the piano and adjusted his music stand while I got comfortable on the bench.
"Ready?" I called out to her. She nodded, smiling brightly.
"Ready?" I gritted out through my smile to Jasper.
"To puke? Sure," he muttered as he sat up straight and nodded to me. I led him into a Diabelli duet,

one of the first pieces we learned and something he knew with his eyes closed. He played it
perfectly, without a single mistake. It was also a piece that he got to end with a small solo. As soon as

he strummed the last chord, Bella was across the room hugging him.
"That was so great! You guys are gonna be famous someday!" she gushed, moving from him to me. I

hugged her back, grinning at Jasper over her shoulder. He still looked a little shocked from her hug,
but he looked proud, too. He stood up with his shoulders squared.

"Hey Bella. You wanna see me and Edward's science fair project? Our watermill can power a light

bulb if there's enough sun out."
"Did you guys ever consider inverting the power into a battery storage system? That way you could

build up enough to power up anything you wanted…" she starting chattering off different theories
on productivity and I watched all the tension leave Jasper as he heard her inner geek come out. I

told him. She was just like us.
We walked back up to my room together, the two of them going on and on about conductivity and

the necessary wiring mechanisms for a larger model version. We tinkered around with old batteries
and wires for hours until Jasper said he needed to go home for dinner.
"Thanks for havin' me over, Ed. It was nice to meet you, Bella," he smiled, pulling her in for a hug. I
smirked at him behind her back and he rolled his eyes at me, nodding in acknowledgment. 'You

were right,' he mouthed.
'I know,' I grinned back.
He punched my shoulder on the way out, leaving Bella and I alone.
"You wanna eat before we go?" I asked.
"Nah," she shrugged. "I'm still okay from lunch. Your mom made so much food."
"Emmett," I replied simply, picking up my bag and flicking off the lights so we could leave.
We arrived at our tree a little while later with Bella relatively intact. A minor twist in her ankle, but

she promised she was fine. Sitting down next to her against the trunk, I wrapped my arm around
her right away.
"It's not sunset yet," she stated, curious.
"I know," I shrugged bashfully. "But I missed out last year."
She gave me a little half-smile, reaching up to wiggle my glasses a bit. "I'm just so glad you're you
again."
Nodding, I returned her smile. "Yeah. Me, too."
She narrowed her eyes at me, the corners of her lips twitching upwards. "Just know that if you try

that crap again, you're toast. I will skip right past the talk-it-out stage and move straight to the butt-
kicking."
"This is great," I grinned. "I get to watch you go all angry kitten and I didn't even do anything yet."
"Don't call me that!" she squealed, swatting at me.
"You love it," I smirked cockily, trapping her hands easily. Seriously, she had the strength of a wet

kitten. Declawed, even.
She conceded, her hands going limp in mine. I released her, letting her settle against me as the sun

began to shift downwards.
"So you like Jasper?" I asked quietly.
She nodded into my shoulder, pulling at a loose string on my jeans. "Yeah. He's great. I'm glad you
have him."
Thinking of the friend I had here, I couldn't help but remember the friends she had down in
Phoenix. Again, the fear of being replaced struck me, a weird feeling in my chest making me ache as

I thought of Riley.

"You know he could never be you, right?" I asked softly, leaning my head down on hers.
"I would think not," she snickered. "He'd look terrible in my sundresses."
"I'm serious," I whined, squeezing her once.
"I know," she said softly, her humor gone. "Why do you think I was so upset last year? Nobody could
ever be you."
"I'm still really sorry about that," I said sadly, for probably the hundredth time.
"Let it go," she ordered gently. "We had a fight. We made up. We're totally past it now."
"Make a wish," I breathed, watching the sun melt into the tops of the trees.
"Done," she whispered back.
We stayed that way for over an hour after sunset until the sky was completely dark. I left my arm
around her until it was asleep, while she pulled at invisible strings on the side of my jeans. I got my

wish that night instantly.
Please don't ever let her let me go.
Sunsets are awesome.

Something was bound
To go right sometime today
All these broken pieces fit together
To make a perfect picture of us

~*~

Chapter Eight

I was not going to survive the eighth grade. It was a simple fact I was struggling to accept. My mind

no longer controlled my body, and my body was now possessed. It had started with that ache in my
chest around Bella when it was time to say goodbye. Or when I thought about her being friends with

Riley. It was just an awkward feeling that went away as soon as she reassured me of our friendship.
And then she sent me those stupid pictures from her summer vacation with her mom. Gone were

her usual t-shirts and jeans. Now she was on the beach. In her bathing suit.
Bella did not used to look like that. I was positive I would have noticed.
We'd decided to try emailing that year, since I had received my very own laptop for my birthday. I
mailed her my email address as soon as it was set up and she sent me a message as soon as she

made her own account on her home computer. With the attachment pictures from her vacation.
Again, she was on the beach. In her bathing suit. I had been really wrong when I tried to make Jazz

calm down.
Bella was most definitely a girl.

When I'd first seen the pictures, I was simply happy she seemed to be having such a good time.

There was even a picture where she let her toes touch the ocean, which was a huge deal for her.
Stingrays and giant waves, after all.
But then I'd gone to sleep that night with a weird feeling in my stomach after looking at them for
hours and when I woke up…I told my mom that morning that I wanted to start washing my own

laundry, including my sheets.
I felt terrible. So incredibly dirty and ashamed. The things I had pictured Bella doing I had never

even seen in real life before. Things that nobody should ever imagine their best friend doing. I didn't
know what to do. It felt too personal to talk to my dad about and too awkward to discuss with

Jasper. My mom was out of the question. I shuddered trying to picture that conversation with
Emmett. He'd probably ask for a copy of the email.
And I did not like the idea of anyone else seeing Bella dressed like that. Or undressed, as it was. So I
resolved to just not look at the pictures again and let whatever disease that was afflicting me abate

in its own time.
.
I was never going to survive eighth grade. This just couldn't be healthy. How many times a day could

this happen to a person, er, man, er, teenager? I wore the loosest pants possible and still, when I
would sit down in my desk for class, boom! One brush of my fly against what lay beneath and I

couldn't stand up for the rest of the period. To hide it I started leaving my shirts tucked out, but my
polos weren't completely long enough. So I traded those in for button-downs and sweaters over t-

shirts. And I wasn't sure if I was more or less relieved to realize this plague was affecting most of the
guys around me as well. It would seem tight jeans were a thing of the past for all of us, geek and jock

alike.
At first it was a concern, but manageable. I just wouldn't think about it, focus a little extra hard on

the lesson in class and it would go away. But over time, it slowly became harder and harder to
ignore, pun completely intended. And every time it reached the point of pain and I ignored it, I

would wake up the next morning needing to change my sheets again.
I understood the basics of my anatomy. I knew what they were, I just couldn't figure out how to get

them to go away. Actually, that wasn't completely true. I had a pretty good idea, but I was quite
nervous to try it. What if everyone could tell what I'd done? I'd Googled the subject pretty

thoroughly and it was supposedly normal. In my opinion, boys really got the short end of the stick

when it came to puberty. Bella never once complained about having to take showers after everyone
else in gym so as not to risk exposure.
But Bella, I was slowly becoming convinced, was out to kill me, too. She would send me pictures of
her and her friends digging up the Arizona desert looking for Cretaceous fossils. In a tank top. And

really short shorts. Was she testing me? Trying to measure my character or gallantry? White flag,
Bella. Please stop torturing me. And the worst part of it was, she had no idea. She was just trying to

send her best friend pictures of her life, not knowing that every time said best friend wanted to try
and relieve the issue, he couldn't stop picturing her.
This made me immensely nervous for her upcoming visit. If I couldn't control my body's reaction to
pictures, I didn't know how I was going to be able to control myself when she was here in person.

The obituary would read: Died of embarrassment after stabbing best friend with an erection during
attempted hug. Gone too soon from this world.
If only that was the least of my problems. The girls of school had officially gone boy-crazy. If the
school was having a girl's choice dance, they attacked in a swarm. Jasper took to hiding in the

bathroom between classes and just taking the detentions for the tardies. He said it was worth it. The

day after Lauren Mallory cornered me against my locker and tried to tell me that I was taking her to
the Spring Formal and sealed the deal by pushing her tongue into my gaping mouth, I started hiding

out with Jasper.
Which led to the rumors about Jasper and I being gay. Fabulous. At least the girls went away and we

were able to stop clapping erasers after school.
Just when life couldn't get any more mortifying, my dad stepped in. Or rather, he had me step into

his office for a 'talk.' And apparently he decided he would just roll them all into one giant talk,
because I got the drug talk, the smoking talk, the drinking talk, ending with…the sex talk. I left his

study almost two hours later in a daze, my brain completely fried.
Most of it I could block out with great effort. Drugs held no appeal for me as they would interfere

with my plans to attend Stanford, his alma mater. I pushed the imaging charts of dead brain matter
far from my mind. I was sure I'd try drinking at some point, but had no intention of doing so for a

few years yet. And I sure as hell wouldn't be getting into a car afterward thanks to Dad's slideshow
on fatal accidents. As far as smoking went, I couldn't exactly tell him without getting grounded for

life that I'd already tried it and had no intentions of doing so ever again. So he didn't know that he

could have kept the blackened lung and tracheotomy shots to himself and saved us both the nausea.
It was the sex talk that had my ears ringing. I wasn't sure I understood what he was attempting to

accomplish with it. Everything was a contradiction. Sex was natural. Sex needed to wait. I wanted to
point out that sex also needed a partner which I didn't have and that the thought of a girl seeing me

naked made me so nervous I wanted to puke, but I didn't, mainly because I was so desperate for the
lecture to be over. Condoms weren't completely effective. But then he gave me some anyway.

Showing me pictures of STDs and threatening to take me up to the nursery at the hospital followed
by him telling me he trusted me. I was mostly just grateful he didn't ask why I took three showers a

day now.
He stressed the importance of never allowing myself to be pressured into anything, nor should I

ever pressure anyone into anything as well. He really hammered that one hard. Under no
circumstances was I ever to do something without a girl's explicit permission. He reminded me to

treat all women with respect, the same as I would my own mother. He talked about the difference
between love and lust, but it was when he started talking about him and my mom's relationship that

I just couldn't take anymore.
So he shoved me out the door with a box of condoms that he didn't want me to use and a cell phone
to use if I was ever at a party where there were drugs or alcohol. Emmett saw me on the way to my

room and gave me a nod of sympathetic understanding. He thrust a couple of magazines in my hand
before closing his door. I trudged past it to my room, tossing the condoms and cell phone onto my

desk. I wondered if I could use it to call Bella.
And cue my pants getting tight. This was ridiculous. I couldn't even think her name now? Glancing

down at the magazines, I read Playboy and Hustler in bold letters across the top. Oh my God, my
brother gave me dirty magazines. I dropped them as if burned, glaring down at them on the floor

and willing them to burst into flames. It wasn't working.
Taking another glance down at the cover didn't help the pain in my groin lessen at all. But as I

looked at the girl-slash-woman on the cover, past the curves any male with eyes could appreciate,
all I saw was the wrong color hair, too much makeup, eyes that weren't quite the right shade of

brown…
I had to evaluate this.

First of all, I had to acknowledge that Bella was attractive. I'd always thought she was beautiful, so

this wasn't news. But was I attracted to her? And if I was, did this need to affect our friendship?
Obviously, my body's baser instincts found her appealing, given the amount of lotion I went through

in a week. Thinking over the year, I realized I never once had this problem with any of the other
girls at school. Not even when Lauren tried to lick my tonsils. I shuddered just thinking about it. But

our lips never touched, so I wasn't counting it as a kiss. More of an assault.
I tried to recall a time when I was even the least bit interested in any of those girls and I couldn't

think of a single one. So I was attracted to Bella. Was it just physical? I snorted to myself, knowing
the answer to that right away. There was way more to Bella than her looks. She was the smartest

person I knew next to Jasper and myself. And she was so quick-witted. When we would chat online,
we could zing each other for hours. But she was also one of the nicest people I'd ever met.

Remembering my screw-up, I had to note that she was also one of the most patient as well.
So what did this mean for our friendship? Could I still be just friends with her knowing that I…What

was it that I felt exactly? I knew I loved her, but that was a friendly love. I'd loved her since I first
found her crying when we were little. I couldn't possibly be in love with her. I'd only spent six days

with her in my life. But I was in some serious like with her.
Could we even be anything more than friends? What I would give for her to live here. But I knew she
couldn't leave her mom. Her mom would lose her own head if it weren't attached to her neck and

Bella ran that house from top to bottom. She lived a lifetime away. With Riley, that lucky bastard.
Oh God, that ache was back in my chest. What if she'd started having these same feelings, but they

weren't towards me? And if I revealed myself, it could ruin everything. I'd rather have her in my life
as only a friend than nothing at all. But the thought of her holding hands with anybody but me,

someone else's arm around her shoulders…Those were my shoulders, damnit!
If I had even the slightest chance of winning her affections, I had to go for it or possibly regret it

forever.
.
My dad took Jasper and me to the bowling alley in Port Angeles for my fourteenth birthday and we
played a few games before he drove us back home so Jasper could spend the night. He was really

excited to get to see Bella again, and I was surprised to feel that ache return sharply. Could jealousy
be physically felt? What was I jealous about? Jasper didn't like my Bella like that. Crap. Did he? What

if she liked him?
When we got back home, we went upstairs to hang out and I decided I needed to confront him.
Surely, as my best friend, he wouldn't go after my girl. I hoped.
"Hey Jazz?"
"Yeah, Ed," he grunted, not really paying much attention as he looked up codes for the new WoW.
"You, uh…you don't like Bella, do you?"
"What?" he asked, swiveling around in the chair and staring at me in surprise. "You know I do, man.

She was awesome last year. By the time I left I didn't even feel like I was gonna puke anymore."
Sighing, I shook my head. "No. I mean…you don't like like her, right?"
His eyebrows shot straight up his forehead, his jaw dropping. "Holy crap. You like Bella."
The heat I felt burning in my ears was enough of an answer for him. He recovered and blinked

before relaxing back in my desk chair. "Uh…no, man. I don't like her like that. She's your girl."

"Well, she's not, not really. I don't even know if she likes me like that. We've never talked about it

before."
He nodded thoughtfully. "You gonna talk to her about it tomorrow?"
"I don't know. I'm not sure I should," I admitted. At his questioning look, I explained further. "It's
just…she comes here once a year. I get one day and she has to spend the rest with her dad. And then

she's gone again."
"Yeah," he began slowly. "But in a few years we're gonna go to college. And if you guys went to the

same one, you could see each other all the time. So it would suck for awhile, but…what if she does
like you and you miss your chance?"
"That's the thing, though. What if she doesn't like me and I mess up everything? She…I can't ever
lose her, Jazz."
"I…I don't know what to say, man. You're talking to someone who hides in the bathroom to steer
clear of the opposite sex. You know Bella better than anybody else on the planet. I think you should

go with your gut," he shrugged, turning back around in the chair to continue his surfing.
I threw myself back on my bed, staring at the ceiling for answers and running my hands through my

hair. It was getting dark outside, close to sundown. Closing my eyes, I could almost hear Bella's soft

voice whisper in my ear.
"Make a wish."
I did. I'd see if it worked tomorrow.
.
"She's here," I breathed out shakily, watching her wave goodbye to the cruiser as her dad dropped
her off out front through my bedroom window.
"Geez, Ed," Jasper groaned, noticing me sitting on the edge of my bed fully dressed already. "How
long you been up?"
"Awhile," I admitted. "I'm so freakin' nervous. God, she looks pretty. Why does she have to look so
pretty?"
He sat up, yawning and craning his neck around me to get a look. I shoved him back down, scowling.
"Don't check out my girl."
He laughed, stretching out. "Whatever. She looks the same as last year to me."
"God. How am I going to do this? I don't think I can do this."
"Edward! Edward!" I heard Bella's excited voice as she pounded up the stairs. Jazz ran into the

bathroom to get dressed as she burst in the room.
"Look!" she grinned, holding up a rock. "A trilobite! I found it a mile from my house! Can you believe

it?"
And there it was. I could totally do this. Because at the end of the day, she was my Bella and I was

her Edward and we were best friends no matter what.
"Are you serious?" I grinned back. "Let me see."
She slid onto my bed next to me as we leaned against the headboard. She handed it over carefully
before leaning over and surprising me by kissing my cheek.
"I missed you."

Turning toward her, I drank in every inch of her beautiful face.
"You have no idea."
.
Jasper only hung around until lunch again and as far as I was concerned, good riddance. He'd been
batting his eyelashes at me every time Bella's back was turned, making kissy faces and waggling his

eyebrows like an idiot all day. I was so going to get him back tomorrow.
"Tree?" I asked nervously, clenching my fists behind my back so she couldn't see them shaking.
She nodded happily, picking up her pack. It was still the same purple one from years ago, faded and
worn.
"When're you gonna get a new one?" I laughed.
She narrowed her eyes at me haughtily. "Don't hate on the bag. It's my lucky pack."
"Yes, kitten."
Her cheeks flushed bright red, a change from last year. She darted her eyes away from me, about to

pull it over her shoulders. I grabbed it out of her grasp before she could, slipping both straps over
my left arm. She rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she walked past me.
"Always such a gentleman," she teased.
"I'm going to take that as a compliment," I replied dryly.
We started walking and the internal debate began to roar. Should I hold her hand? Would it be

weird? I did last year. Crap, now my hands were sweating.
Gotta calm down…gotta calm down…
"Edward? Are you okay?"
I looked at her, worried I might have been thinking out loud. She waited, her eyes confused.
"You stopped walking," she pointed out.
Oh.
"Sorry," I smiled nervously, rubbing my palms on the sides of my jeans. Stepping forward, I slipped
my hand down into hers, slowly intertwining my fingers with hers. She looked a little surprised, her

eyes dropping down to look at our hands.
"Is this okay?" I asked quietly, kicking myself for not asking first.
Her eyes darted back up to mine as she nodded slowly, a soft blush flooding her cheeks. I wanted to
feel it to see if it was warm. Oh crap. If I started thinking about touching her cheeks, I'd start to think

about touching her other places…
Great-grandma Lizzy in a swimsuit…Great-grandma Lizzy in a swimsuit…
All better. We walked in a comfortable silence together, hand in hand. It felt so good to just have

that simple connection with her, even if my thoughts were raging. If she asked me why I held her
hand, should I answer honestly or play it off? She didn't seem to mind it. That had to be a good sign.

What came next?
When we reached the tree she loosened her grip, so I released her hand and immediately felt the

loss in my chest. I handed her her bag with a nervous smile and she beamed back at me.

"I brought pictures of my excavation!" she exclaimed. "I forgot about them earlier when Jasper was

here. Do you want to see?"
I grinned, my nerves loosening up as I still saw her for the best friend she'd always been. There was

just something extra there now, but it didn't mean I had to lose what we already had.
"Let's see 'em."
She sat down in her spot, ripping through her bag quickly when I saw Ed laying inside. Picking it up,
I looked at it for the first time in several years.
"I remember this thing being a lot bigger," I marveled.
She giggled, taking it out of my hands. "He was. We've just grown into him, I think."
"Why do you still bring it? We haven't used it in forever."
She shrugged, her cheeks dusting pink again. "I sleep with him at Charlie's. It's hard to come here

and only get to see you once."
It filled my whole chest with warmth to hear her say she missed me like that, that she used my old

baby blanket to keep her company when I couldn't, that she was thinking of me as much as I was
thinking of her.
"I know what you mean," I admitted softly. "It drives me crazy when I know you're so close but I

can't see you. One of these days I'm going to sneak in through your window."
She laughed, folding it reverently and placing it back inside her pack. "So…pictures?"
I nodded and she started flipping through them, showing me her dig. Once again, she was in a tank
top and short shorts, but I tried to focus on the smile on her face rather than the way her shirt clung

to her sweaty skin. I could see Riley and a few other people I didn't recognize digging in the desert
with her, but I was doing okay with that…until the last one.
Bella, standing proudly and holding her trilobite in front of her, with Riley standing next to her with
his arm around her shoulders. My shoulders!
My stomach twisted and the ache became a burn, searing through my chest.
"Edward? What's wrong?" she asked, alarmed.
I rubbed my face harshly, willing the sting in my eyes to fade. When I'd recovered enough to speak, I
turned to look at Bella, who was watching me with a mystified and worried expression.
"Is…is Riley your…boyfriend?" I choked out, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. If she
didn't feel the same way about me, I would have to be happy for her as her friend. Just a friend.
"What?" she asked, her tone giving nothing away. I met her eyes again, but I could only see honest

curiosity.
"You heard me," I whispered.
"I did, I just…No, he's not my boyfriend. I'm, uh…not quite his type," she chuckled softly.
"How the hell could you not be his type?" I asked in disbelief. I felt wildly protective of her and her

feelings. If she liked him and he hurt her, I'd pummel him. "Whose type isn't smart, sweet and
beautiful?"
"You think I'm beautiful?" she gasped.
"Did he hurt you?" I asked angrily.

"No!" she shook her head furiously. "Edward…Riley is gay. He, uh…he actually thinks you're really

handsome."
All my indignant fury left me in a whoosh as my ears burned in embarrassment. "Oh."
I watched her keep her eyes trained on her lap where she was twisting her hands. "I, uh…I agree
with him. I mean, I think you are too," she whispered, her cheeks bright red.
My jaw dropped. I'd asked for it last night. I just needed one sign from her and I would go for it, all
the way. This was it.
Gulping, I reached over and stilled her hands, holding them in mine. "Bella. Look at me."
Her eyes darted to mine, searching and embarrassed. Smiling gently, I reached up to feel if her

cheek was warmer where the blush was, if the skin there was as soft as her hands. It was even
better than I'd thought it would be.
"I know that you're beautiful," I said softly, but seriously. "Inside and out. And I like you. A lot."
"You mean like…" she trailed off, her tone questioning. She was really going to make me spell it out.
"I like like you, Bella. And the reason I got so upset about Riley was because I was afraid he might be
to you what I want to be. I…I want to be your boyfriend," I breathed, watching her closely. "I want to

be the only one who gets to hold your hand and wrap an arm around your shoulders. A-a-and hug

you and kiss you."
"I want that too," she whispered, visibly swallowing. "You're the only one I could ever want like

that."
Trying not to grin like an idiot while my heart pounded in my chest, I asked her.
"May I kiss you, Bella?"
Her eyes immediately went to my lips and she nodded. Leaning forward slowly, I tilted my head and

Bella did the same, our lips meeting in the middle softly once. I pulled back slowly to see Bella's
eyes still closed, so I moved in again, pressing more firmly this time. She made this breathy little

sound into my mouth, so I pushed a bit more before pulling back again.
This time, her eyes fluttered open and she gave me the most breathtakingly beautiful smile ever.
"I don't think I ever want to stop doing that. Can we do it again?"
I laughed, pulling her in for another. And another. And then another. We kissed the afternoon away,

even progressing to making out. Bella's tongue in my mouth I didn't mind. We learned our way
around each other, through bumping noses and clacking teeth. We'd stop every so often, for her to

breathe and for me to will away the painful throbbing down below that threatened to make a mess

in my pants.
I kept a respectable distance from her to prevent the mess from happening, keeping her chest from

touching mine. I knew the slightest brush of those against me and I'd be done for. My shirt was long
enough to hide it, so I just had to keep my hands frozen on her hips to hold her in place. Which was

difficult enough to fight my own instincts, but I was fighting Bella's as well. My girl really liked to
kiss. Lucky for me she was great at it.
And I was the only one who would ever get to know that.
As night began to fall we slowly calmed to soft pecks. Eventually, we pulled apart for her to lay her

head on my shoulder, my arm wrapping around her shoulders automatically.
"For so long, you weren't a girl to me," I thought aloud, staring at the misty orange sun.

"I know what you mean," Bella replied softly. "You were never a boy, you were just Edward. It was a

big adjustment when I realized I liked you, after I already loved you for seven years."
"Exactly," I laughed. "It feels the same, but different, too."
"Either way, I'll always love you, boy."
"And I'll always love you, girl."
The sun slipped down the sky and there was no wish to make. It already came true.
Thank you for giving me the sign.
And now what do we do?

I want to see
As you are now
Every single day
That I am living

~*~

Chapter Nine

It had been next to impossible to let her go that day, knowing I wouldn't get the chance to kiss her,
hug her, or hold her hand again for an entire year. I'd missed her instantly, more intensely than

even that first year when I didn't know if I'd ever see her again. My dad insisted that my new cell
phone was for emergencies only, so I wouldn't be hearing her voice again for another year as well.

E_C620 writes: Tell me when it changed for you.
B_Swan913 writes: What?
E_C620 writes: When you liked me.
B_Swan913 writes: Oh. Mallory the Molester.
E_C620 writes: LOL! Now I'll think that when I see her. Why?
B_Swan913 writes: B/C I wanted it to be me
E_C620 writes: You wanted to attack me?
B_Swan913 writes: No, idiot. Your first kiss.
E_C620 writes: You were!
B_Swan913 writes: No. She was.
E_C620 writes: No, she wasn't. No lips touched.
B_Swan913 writes: *scoffs*
B_Swan913 writes: How is that possible?
E_C620 writes: I was staring at her and my mouth was open. She went in tongue first and then I
ran away. You were my first. And second. And third…

B_Swan913 writes: Ok, ok. I get the picture.
B_Swan913 writes: Me too.
E_C620 writes: What? Your first?
B_Swan913 writes: Yeah.
E_C620 writes: Good. I want to be your only.
B_Swan913 writes: You are.
B_Swan913 writes: I have to go. Dinnertime.
E_C620 writes: K. I love you girl.
B_Swan913 writes: I love you boy xoxo
B_Swan913 has logged off.
B_Swan913 has logged on.
B_Swan913 writes: And don't think you don't have to tell me when it changed for you too.
B_Swan913 writes: Ok now I'm really gone. xx
B_Swan913 has logged off.

The warning was good at least. I would need some time to come up with an appropriate response

that didn't involve me disclosing my multiple trips per day to the bathroom. At least I seemed to be

gaining better control over those issues.
The rest of the summer passed with tons of IM chats, emails and the occasional letter, snail-mail

style. She'd told me how much she liked getting to have something to hold in her hands from me and
I wouldn't admit it for fear of sounding too girly, but I did too. As we neared our first day of high

school, I couldn't help but be a little worried. A year was such a long time to go without any physical
contact and she was going to a big school with a lot of boys.
According to her, she said that wasn't an issue, because a) kissing held no appeal without me, an
admission that made me very happy to hear in a caveman sort of way, and b) because there was

absolutely nobody even remotely interested in her down in Phoenix.
That I had a little more trouble believing. She argued that her high school was as large as the entire

population of Forks, therefore allowing her to fade into the background unnoticed. She had no idea
what she was talking about. She was beautiful, smart, kind, loyal, loving…the list of positive

attributes was endless. I knew intuitively that she wasn't perfect, but she was just about as close to
it as a human being could be. That kind of person didn't fade into anything, they shined.
She didn't seem as worried, so I tried not to be a completely jealous freak. Of course, her

complacency might have had something to do with the fact that everyone in Forks High still thought
I was gay. Or at least, they did until it became very clear that Jasper wasn't.
"You hear about the new kid?" Jasper asked as we sat down at the only empty table left in the
cafeteria.
"Just that one was coming," I shrugged, right as somebody sat down with a bang of their tray beside
me. Bewildered, I turned and then…looked down. Wow, she was short. And very colorful. The three

different patterns on her outfit were making me a little dizzy.

"Hi! I'm Alice Brandon and I just started today. I'm from Mississippi and I love your sweater. That

shirt would look great with a tie, but either way, you totally own geek chic, but I mean that in a
totally nice way."
All this was said in one breath. A little amused but still a little afraid, I nodded in thanks.
"Edward Cullen."
Geek chic? I would have to Google this. Or ask Bella. Before I had a chance to respond, the jock
squad showed up, followed closely behind by their female groupies to warn her away from our

existence, in part because we were 'queer' and in part because we were 'geeks-slash-losers-slash-
snobs.' Jasper looked like he wanted the cafeteria floor to open up and swallow him whole while I

just glared at them, but Alice stood up in all of her three-foot tall glory and shoved a finger right in
Mike Newton's face.
"Look fuckwad, I don't know who you think you are, but I have zero patience for homophobic,
juiced-up jock straps like you. So how's about you take your little gang of cronies and your Stepford

wives-in-training and go play chicken with a train?"
She didn't even wait for him to respond, just turned her back on him and sat back down beside me.

Mike gaped like a fish for a minute, not even realizing that the rest of his crew had scattered like

cockroaches the second Alice said 'fuckwad.' I barked out a laugh at the look on his face and that
snapped him out of it, but not enough to make a retort. He just stalked away to his table where the

rest of his friends were already seated.
"Wow," Jasper breathed, staring at Alice in awe.
Alice cocked her head at him and then looked back at me, pursing her lips. "Okay, so I don't care
either way, but are you guys really gay? Because I usually have excellent gaydar and I'm just not

feeling that from either of you at all. That Asian kid behind the leader was ringing all kinds of bells,
but from you guys, I get nothing."
I laughed, shaking my head. "Well, I don't know about Eric, but speaking for Jasper and myself, no,
we are not gay. I have a girlfriend who lives in Arizona."
"Aww," she sighed, resting her hand on her chin. "That is so sweet. I bet that's hard."
"I don't have a girlfriend!" Jasper blurted out of nowhere, making both of us snap our heads toward

him. Alice barely contained an amused smile and arched her eyebrow at him.
"Well? Are you going to keep me waiting?" she asked sweetly, leaning forward slightly toward him.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked immediately, his voice cracking slightly on the 'girl' part.
She sat back and grinned before jumping up and around the table to sit beside him. Leaning over,
she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I thought you'd never ask."
"Wow." Now it was my turn to be inarticulate.
Jasper seemed to snap out of his Alice-induced trance and remember my presence, grinning

sheepishly at me. Alice just reached over and slid her tray across the table to place in front of her.
Lifting up her soda can, she announced a toast.
"To us. It's gonna be an awesome freshman year."
And it kind of was. Mostly. The only problems that surfaced were the return of Lauren and Jessica

out to get me, and an issue of my own making. Lauren and Jessica were annoying, but easily
distracted by the jocks or scared away by Alice. The real problem was fairly basic.

I was jealous, plain and simple. Of my own best friend. And not for Alice, because she held

absolutely no appeal for me. It was of the two of them, together. Holding hands together in the hall,
hugging before and after each class, using our study hours as make-out sessions…they could do all

that whenever they wanted to. And it wasn't like they were trying to rub it in my face. They'd catch
themselves all the time, usually when I'd try to slip out of the room while they were kissing or

getting lost in each other's eyes or whatever, but they'd apologize every time and that only made me
feel worse. They weren't doing anything wrong; they were just getting to do everything I wished I

could do with Bella.
They tried to include me, but I'd rather have been at home alone than the third wheel on their study

dates. Alice always gave me a hug goodbye too, but it didn't bring the same comfort as Bella's hugs.
She made Jasper come over once a week to mess around on our instruments or play some video

games, and it wasn't like he resented spending the time with me, but I knew he'd rather be with
Alice. I didn't blame him. If Bella lived here, I didn't think I'd ever come up for air.
They were still my friends; I just had a lot more time to myself now. So I checked out some books on
music theory from the school's library and decided to try my hand at composing. That was like a

whole new world opened up for me. I'd love to say I was one of those people that just sat down and

wrote a sonata, but it didn't quite work like that. Still, I was good enough to feel proud and wonder
if I might need to add composer to my list of possible career options. My mom would never let me be

a racecar driver anyway.
The one thing that tore at me was the worry over Bella feeling the same loneliness as me. She spoke

often of missing me, but never mentioned the desire to attend school dances or parties. Did that
mean she really didn't want to go, or did she just not want me to feel guilty? I hated the idea that

being with me might be costing her experiences she would resent me for later. All I wanted for her
was that she be happy. I was honest and selfish enough to admit that I wanted it to be with me, but

could I be selfless enough to let her go if she wasn't?
With a heavy heart and hand one day, I wrote out my feelings and worries to her in a letter and sent

it to her. The week after I sent it flew by as the school year drew to a close. I hadn't really had my
eye on the mailbox, since I assumed she would reply the same way and it would be another week

before I heard back from her about it. I didn't mention it in our daily emails. I was so incredibly
anxious to hear her response to my worries. A huge part of me just wanted her to lay them to rest

and tell me everything would be fine, but a small part of me was bracing myself for the worst. Either

way, I was surprised when she was online when I got home that day, waiting for me to respond via
IM.

B_Swan913 writes: Are you there?
B_Swan913 writes: I'm not getting off of here until you talk to me
B_Swan913 writes: Still waiting. You should be home from school by now.
B_Swan913 writes: Are you ignoring me?
E_C620 writes: Hey. Just got home. What's up?
B_Swan913 writes: What's up? You tell me. Did you just break up with me in a letter?
E_C620 writes: NO! How could you think that?
B_Swan913 writes: "I'll always be your friend." "I want you to be happy."
B_Swan913 writes: WTF?

E_C620 writes: But I didn't mean I only want to be your friend. And I DO want you to be happy.

But if I don't make you happy then I want to always be your friend.
B_Swan913 writes: So what you really mean is that YOURE not happy and it's too hard for you

but you'd rather put it on me?
E_C620 writes: NO! It's not too hard for me and I am happy with you. I miss you like crazy all

the time and the thought of being w/o you makes my heart hurt
B_Swan913 writes: Oh. So you just think you care for me more than I care for you?
E_C620 writes: NO! OMG Where are you getting this?
B_Swan913 writes: I'm getting this from your breakup letter that's not really a breakup letter

and the fact that somewhere along the way you decided that I don't need you just as much as
you need me.
B_Swan913 writes: You're putting your worries on me when I've never given you any reason to
think I care about stupid dances or any of that shit.
E_C620 writes: I'm sorry.
B_Swan913 writes: For?
E_C620 writes: For confusing you into thinking that was a breakup letter and making you upset
B_Swan913 writes: You have no idea why I'm upset do you?
E_C620 writes: Not really, no.
E_C620 writes: Please don't be mad at me
E_C620 writes: Kitten…
B_Swan913 writes: I'm upset because you don't trust me
B_Swan913 writes:Are you still there?
E_C620 writes: Yeah. Thinking.
E_C620 writes: Ok. I don't get it. How don't I trust you?
B_Swan913 writes: OMG Because you don't trust me to tell you if I'm upset or unhappy. And it
sounded like in your breakup letter that's not really a breakup letter that you were deciding to

let me go despite my feelings.
B_Swan913 writes: You don't get to choose for me. That's not fair.
E_C620 writes: Oh. I'm sorry.
B_Swan913 writes: Do you get it or are you just saying that?
E_C620 writes: No. I get it. I'm so sorry. I won't do it again.
B_Swan913 writes: I'm sorry you didn't think you could talk to me about this.
E_C620 writes: No. Don't be sorry. I should know better. You're my Bella.
B_Swan913 writes: And you're my Dickward.
E_C620 writes: *snorts* Dickward?
B_Swan913 writes: That's what I've decided to call you when you make me mad and/or are
being stupid.

E_C620 writes: Yes kitten. Should I just change my name now permanently?
B_Swan913 writes: Don't do that. This IS hard.
E_C620 writes: I know. I miss you so much.
B_Swan913 writes: Me too. All the time. I love you boy.
E_C620 writes: I love you girl. Always.
B_Swan913 writes: xoxoxo
E_C620 writes: One more
B_Swan913 writes: xo
E_C620 writes: one more

I begged her for one more for over an hour, repeatedly. Finally, she had to go finish her homework,
but for the first time in days, I felt light. I felt happy. I still missed her, but I knew she'd be here soon

and this time, I had plans to see her more than once. I might die in the process, either from breaking
my neck on her tree or from the Chief's shotgun, but it would be worth it. If this year had taught me

anything, it was that one day just wasn't enough anymore.
.
With the addition of Alice, my fifteenth birthday party was…interesting. She'd insisted on

decorating my whole house with streamers and balloons until I thought I'd be finding confetti in my
hair for the next year. She was a wild blur of color and laughter around the house, followed closely

by my mom, who I was pretty sure was in love with her. Emmett probably would've laughed at it all
if Alice hadn't threatened to kick his ass if he ruined my birthday. It was more than a little bit funny

to watch four-foot-eleven-inch Alice make six-foot-one Emmett go pale. He was ridiculously tall for a
human being, let alone a tenth grader.
She was a force to be reckoned with. Luckily for Jasper and me, she was on our side most of the time.
At my request, she'd picked out my outfit for the next day so I could look good for Bella. She wanted

to meet Bella desperately, but Jasper was able to beg her off. At this point, I was ready to burst. I
couldn't even imagine having to share a single minute of my time with Bella with anyone else.
That was how I found myself, after two sessions in the shower, pacing in the front entryway of my
house in a button-down shirt, skinny black tie and jeans, waiting for her dad to drop her off.
"Finally," I breathed, ignoring Emmett grumbling behind me as he stumbled down the stairs half
awake. I threw open the front door and ran out to her, exhaling in happy relief as soon as my arms

were around her. Finally. Mindful of her dad watching us, I whispered into her hair. "I missed you so

much."
Her voice was thick with emotion as she squeezed me back ever so slightly. "You have no idea."
Pulling back from her a tiny bit, I pushed her hair out of her face to really get a good look at her. She
had only gotten more beautiful. Somehow, she remained untouched by the Phoenix sun, year after

year as pale as ever. I noticed that she didn't blush as I looked her over, a change. Her eyes flicked
every three seconds to my lips, letting me know we were on the same wavelength there.
She half-heartedly waved goodbye to Charlie, who climbed back into his cruiser mumbling
something that sounded like pepper spray before pulling away. I wasn't sure how long I held her in

the driveway just staring at her. Over the year we wrote often enough to know pretty much
everything going on in each other's lives, so there wasn't a need to fill the silence. We shared plenty

of pictures too, but to be able to see her and touch her in person, especially touch her…

It had been so long. It felt like I needed to rememorize every inch of her. Her waist still fit between

my hands, her hips not quite. Her skin was just as soft, but she smelled even better than I
remembered. Her hair was longer and her face a little less round, but her lips…I lifted my hand to

run my thumb over them, her bottom first and then her top, feeling my face mirror the smile she
gave as I did so.
"That tickles," she whispered, her breath tickling my thumb and making me grin wider.
"I just need to do one thing," I whispered back.
She blinked, breaking the spell between us and cocking her head in question. With a whoop, I
picked her up easily around her waist and swung her around and around.
"You're heeeeeeeere!" I shouted. She squealed and laughed, yelling at me not to drop her.
"I'm too heavy for this stuff anymore, Edward!"
"Yeah, right. My backpack weighs more than you. Don't they feed you down there in Arizona?" I
teased as rain started to fall. I set her down, intent on giving her at least one quick kiss before

running inside, but my mom appeared in the doorway then, yelling for us to come in before we
caught a cold. Disappointed, I started to walk inside when I felt her tug on my sleeve.
I turned and was met with her lips, quick but firm. All I wanted was to pull her back for more, but I

could feel my parents' eyes on me from inside the house. And sure enough, they were right by the
dining room window when we came inside. My mom looked excited, my dad just mouthed 'nursery

ward' at me. Bella froze as she walked into the kitchen, looking around bewilderedly.
"Edward," she whispered under her breath. "It looks like a party store threw up in here."
"Alice," I grimaced, loosening my tie a bit to make it more comfortable, which made her notice it for
the first time.
"Hey. You have a…wow. Um…you look great," she mumbled, her cheeks pink. I tried to hide my smug
smile and took her by the hand to the table.
"Alice," I grinned, but then thought better of it. "But I asked her to. I wanted…to look nice for you."
To my surprise, Bella rolled her eyes and snorted. "Right. Because you're not one of those people

that could wear a potato sack and still look like a model or anything."
I laughed and shook my head. "I think you've got us confused."
And then she frowned, going silent. The only times I had ever seen Bella go silent in my life, I could
probably count on one hand and they had been for two reasons only. Either she was mad, or upset

and possibly about to cry. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but my whole family was in the

kitchen by then eating breakfast. She masked whatever was wrong quickly, making small talk with
Emmett about baseball and asking my mom about her waffle recipe. I didn't forget about that look

on her face, though. We would be talking about that.
After breakfast we decided to hang out in my room for awhile since it was storming pretty heavily

outside at the moment. My dad stopped me on the way upstairs and told me, loud enough for Bella
to hear, to leave the door open. I rolled my eyes and Bella blushed, but we agreed easily. And I did

leave it open, halfway.
"Alright, spill it," I demanded as soon as she was settled on my bed. That wasn't going to work. Much

too distracting. Roughly sixty-eight percent of my fantasies involving Bella were on that bed. "After
you move to the desk chair."

She wrinkled her nose and eyebrows at me curiously, not moving. Oh God, what were we about to

talk about?
"I don't want to move. We always sit together here," she argued.
Closing my eyes and fisting my hands to regain some control, because I was pretty sure there was at
least one fantasy that involved us arguing and then me attacking her for really hot makeup sex, I

took some deep breaths. Seriously, I knew we needed to talk about something…
Sitting down in my desk chair, I leaned over with my elbows on my knees and watched her closely.

"Why'd you get upset downstairs?"
"I didn't get upset downstairs," she lied, and badly at that.
"Bella…" I warned.
"Edward…" she mocked back.
"That's it," I huffed, leaping at her from the chair and tackling her on the bed, tickling her without
mercy. "I won't stop 'til you tell me!"
"Stop! Stop!" she laughed, slapping at my hands and twisting around. I pinned her with my body
weight, instantly snapping me back to why we shouldn't have been on a bed together in the first

place. Because we were lined up just right and her squirming was rubbing against me. I was

instantly hard and she froze.
"Is that…" she whispered, not finishing but glancing down at what we both knew it was.
"It's involuntary," I blurted out, and her face fell.
"Right," she mumbled, sliding out from underneath me and sitting up against my headboard.
"What? What did I say now?"
"Nothing. I should have known…" she trailed off, looking anywhere but me. Girlfriends needed to

come with a manual and translator. If I could figure this out, I'd be a millionaire.
"That's it. Get up," I ordered, discreetly adjusting myself as I stood and picked up my backpack.
"What? Why?"
"We're going to our tree. It's the one place I know you'll talk to me," I said firmly, holding my hand

out for her. She glanced outside at the storm that was still going strong, hesitating. "You can go
willingly or be taken by force."
"Well, am I at least allowed to go the bathroom first?" she sighed in defeat.
Smirking, I tapped my watch. "Two minutes."
Fifteen minutes later we were at the tree, soaking wet and shivering. I pulled a flannel blanket out

from my backpack and wrapped it around us after we'd assumed our positions against the trunk,
thankfully protected by the thick branches above us.
Deciding to break the ice, I went first. "I'm sorry if I upset you earlier…on the bed. That was why I
didn't want to sit with you on it. I don't want you to feel pressure for us to do that."
"Is…is that something you want to do? With me?" she asked, her voice small and uncertain.
I couldn't help it. I snorted. Loudly. But then I frowned, rethinking her words. "What do you mean,

with you? Who else could I possibly want to do that with?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I mean, you said it was involuntary. I didn't know if you wanted me

like that."
"You're the only one I've ever wanted like that. When I said involuntary, I meant the physical

reaction to your body underneath me," I paused, trying to will away the current involuntary
reaction I was having discussing the earlier one. "I don't react like that to just anyone, Bella. You're

the only one I see."
"But why?" she prodded, her voice sounding urgent.
"What is this, Bella? Where is all this coming from? This doesn't sound like you," I scowled, turning
toward her for the first time. I was taken aback at the heartbroken expression on her face. She

looked like she was about to cry.
"My mom doesn't like that I'm with you," she whispered suddenly, after moments of silence. "She

thinks I'm going to get myself trapped here just like she did. She keeps pushing me to date boys at
my school and telling me I need to start wearing makeup and she made me go shopping to buy all

these short skirts and stuff and I hate it so I won't wear any of it. She says she doesn't understand
why I won't even try to be pretty, because she thinks I could be if I just…" she burst into tears then,

and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my lap to rock her.
It would seem the cure to my body's reactions was to see her in distress. The only thought I had in
my mind was that my girl was crying and upset. I held her until she quieted, sagging against me and

feeling so small.
"I don't want this to offend you, but your mom can go fuck herself," I said quietly, no small amount

of anger begging to erupt from inside me. She inhaled sharply, but that might have just been
because she wasn't used to me using such strong words. It was really Alice's fault. The girl cursed

like a sailor.
"I think it's disgusting that she would regret even a single minute of her life in Forks, because

without it, she wouldn't have had you and you are spectacular in every way. She's lucky to have you
just as you are, because what you are is just…everything. If I have to tell you every day for the rest of

your life that you're beautiful to get you to believe it, I will. Beautiful just like this. And I don't just
mean your mind or your soul, because those are beautiful too, but they just add to everything else.

You could be a total bitch and you'd still be gorgeous, though I'm glad that you're not."
She giggled at that a little bit and I squeezed her tighter to me, some of my anger receding as I felt

her come back to me.
"I don't know if she's just jealous because you're young and naturally beautiful and you've got your
whole life ahead of you to do whatever you want to do, or if she's just scared because she thinks I

might in some way hold you back from any of it. I'm not even going there, because I've got nothing to
prove to her and because if you don't know by now that I'll follow you to the ends of the earth or

wait for you to come back from them without me, then I've been doing something wrong."
Sniffling, Bella pulled back to stare blankly at the rain dripping off the leaves around us.
"She's my mom, and I love her, but she doesn't get me at all. And I know that, like, kids always say
that, but with her, I really believe that fundamentally we're totally different people. She…she's been

going through men like Kleenexes lately and all I can think is…gross. To her, they're just things to
play with and toss aside when they're not fun anymore. I…I can't even comprehend that. And she

can't understand how I could possibly want to only have those experiences with just one person,
like I'm somehow missing out if I have all of my firsts be with someone I want to also be my last."

I felt the last remnants of the sharp, icy anger in my chest melt into that warmth that only she could

bring as she spoke, even though I still wanted to slap her mother for making Bella doubt herself. I
also needed to remind my body not to focus on the 'all of my firsts' part, but I was doing

exceptionally well considering she was still in my lap.
"Why do you stay with her, Bella? Surely you're old enough to choose. If you're not ha-"
"I can't just abandon her!" she interrupted shrilly, her distress back tenfold. "She can't even
remember to pay the bills or take her birth control pill without me. I'm the one that sets the alarm

in the morning to get us both to work and school. I don't know what would happen to her if I left
her…"
"Okay, okay, shh, shh," I coaxed, curling my arms around her to soothe her. "It was just a thought.
I'm sorry. Don't get upset."
"Besides," she sniffled. "What if Charlie doesn't want me to come live with him?"
"How could you think that?" I asked, shocked.
"How could I not?" she shot back. "I've seen him once a year since my mom left Forks. He always
seems to like it when I'm here, but why hasn't he ever asked to see me more? My birthdays,

Christmas, it's always just a phone call. He's never once said he wishes I lived with him.
"And if I don't ask," she continued in a whisper, "I can pretend that he does. But if I ask and he says
no…"
She started crying again and I kicked myself for asking such a selfish question. Because while there
was no doubt that I wanted Bella wherever she was happy, deep down I knew I wanted her here

with me. I wished so badly I knew what to say, but I didn't. I couldn't comprehend what it was like to
have to pretty much raise her own mom or to wonder whether or not her dad wanted her.
Since I had no words for her, I just didn't speak. Instead, we sat there with her on my lap and I let
her draw comfort from just feeling me there. I would always be there for her. After awhile, I felt the

need to turn the day around. If I only got the one, I was going to make it count.
"Hey," I whispered, in case she had fallen asleep on my chest.
"What?" she asked, a smile in her voice as she heard the playful tone in mine.
"I know something that will cheer you up," I teased, letting it just hang in the air.
She sat up and looked me in the eye, a smile playing on her lips. She raised her
eyebrowsexpectantly.
"Sorry. Can't tell. It's a secret," I grinned, taken by surprise when she pinched my sides.
"Tell me!" she laughed, wiping her face of the last remnants of her tears.
"I want to, I just…can't. Sorry," I pouted at her, making her roll her eyes.
"I bet I can make you tell me," she sang, her eyes full of happiness and a just a touch of evil that had
me a little worried.
I shook my head in cocky disbelief, watching her closely. She took one of my hands into her lap and
started ghosting circles on my palm and forearm, making me shudder slightly. She kept her eyes on

my hand, not even noticing, or at least pretending not to. Slowly, she leaned her head down on my
shoulder, her breath tickling my neck.
"Edward?" she asked softly. I gulped and shut my eyes, trying to concentrate on the semi starting to
come to life directly underneath Bella.

"Hmm?" I strangled out, my voice cracking.
"You know I've been here for hours now. And you haven't kissed me yet. Don't you want to kiss me,
Edward?" she murmured right into the skin of my neck before kissing it slowly, chastely, but that

didn't mean shit to the semi that was no longer a semi.
Slowly, she lifted her head up until her face was right in front of me. When I leaned forward, she

pulled back.
"Wh-"
"Tell me?" she asked innocently, licking her lips. My eyes zeroed in on the target.
"Huh?"
"Your secret?" she clarified gently. Confused, I looked up into her eyes.
"Secret?"
She frowned playfully and nodded, waiting.
"I have no idea."
She started to laugh, but I cut her off with my lips firm on hers, my hand holding the back of her
head to keep her where I'd needed her for the last year. My other arm was wrapped completely

around her waist, pressing her entire upper body against me. God, she was so soft.
God, I was so hard. In an attempt to keep from embarrassing myself and making a mess, I took the
forgotten blanket from beneath us and laid it out on the ground. Sliding her off my lap, I laid down

beside her, somehow resisting the urge to grind against her. She had other ideas when she started
moving her hips near mine seeking friction.
Needing to slow us down, I struggled to think of anything other than the way her breasts felt
pressed against me. Wrenching back, I panted out.
"Leave your window open when you get back from your camping trip."
Startled, her eyes blinked open, unfocused.
I kissed her incoherent. King!
"What?"
Smiling, I spoke slowly just to irritate her. "Keep. Your. Window. Open."
Confused, she shook her head. "Wha-No! Edward, you can't! You'll be grounded forever!"
"So? I don't ever go anywhere anyway."
"But what if they ground you from the computer?" she pointed out, thinking she had me beat.

Unbeknownst to her, I'd thought this over thoroughly.
"I have stamps stockpiled in my desk drawer. If I have to resort to snail-mail for awhile, so be it. I
am seeing you again before you leave. One day just isn't enough," I finished softly. If she really didn't

want me to come, I wouldn't, but…
"Okay," she whispered nervously before sucking her bottom lip into her mouth and biting down.

New.
Pulling it out before she could draw blood, I gave her a quick kiss and smiled. "Yeah?"
She smiled back, uncertain but excited. "Yeah."

And that was that. Just the knowledge that I would get to see her again before she had to leave was

enough to make the rest of the day completely carefree. We laughed through lunch, kissed through
the afternoon, chased each other across the field to sneak inside Newton's for a bathroom break

and then swapped stories about our crazy friends until sunset.
"Oh, holy shit! I almost forgot!" I exclaimed, reaching over for my bag.
"You have gotten the filthiest mouth over the last year!" she laughed, her eyes wide as she shook her
head at me.
"Does it offend you?" I grimaced, feeling less than gentlemanly.
"Oh God. Are you kidding?" she snickered. "Riley's sister Bree likes to take words and just add 'fuck'

to the beginning. She's practically got her own language. According to them, you are fuckhot."
My hands stilled in my bag as my jaw dropped. "I'm sorry? Fuckhot? I don't recall seeing that one in

Webster's."
"Oh, you didn't know?" she joked. "There's a picture of you in there and everything."
I rolled my eyes, trying to find that stupid knife. I lifted it up and Bella looked at it curiously.
Smiling, I reached over to the trunk and very carefully carved a heart around our initials before

tossing it back into my bag. She beamed at me, launching herself at me and sending us both to the

ground. With me underneath her, she laid her head down on my chest above my heart.
"This isn't how we're supposed to be," I pointed out.
"Are you incapable of making a wish lying down?" she snarked. Narrowing my eyes at her even
though she couldn't see me, I pushed myself off the ground, sitting her next to me easily. With my

arm thrown around her shoulders, she reached up to thread her fingers with mine.
"Is this acceptable?" she mocked. I rolled my eyes, leaning over to kiss her temple. She pressed into

it slightly, resting her head on my shoulder when I pulled away.
"You're lucky I love you," I sighed, pretending to be exasperated with her.
"I know," she replied back quietly.
Frowning, I nudged her chin up to make her look at me.
"I'm lucky you love me," I said seriously.
Her eyes dancing, she nodded. "I know."
Grinning, I let her lay her head back down to make our wish. I really hoped she was wishing for the
same thing as me.
Please don't let me get caught-slash-die.
Here's hoping.

Worry not
Everything is sound
This is the safest place
You've found

~*~

Chapter Ten

It was official. Becoming the next James Bond was now added to my list of possible career options,

taking over the racecar driver spot. I had survived!
Bike tires, pumped. Chain, greased. All black outfit, on. Bed stuffed with pillows, done. Emmett, paid

off. Gotta remember to skip the third step from the bottom or it'll creak.
I slipped out the back door in the kitchen silently, creeping around the house to get my bike. I walked it

down my driveway as quietly as possible, waiting at the edge to make sure no lights came on inside my
house. When I was satisfied my parents hadn't woken, I hopped on and rode over to Bella's, parking it

in the trees behind her house. My palms started sweating as soon as I saw the cruiser in the driveway
and I walked a large circle around the house to check for lights or any sign of an awake and armed

Chief.
The only light on was a small lamp from inside Bella's room on the second story, next to the tree of
doom. I'd really thought there were more branches lower to the ground. Her window was open, the

curtains blowing in the wind. My heartbeat raced at the thought of getting to see her again, pushing
aside the pain that I knew was coming when she left tomorrow. I swallowed my nerves and jumped up,

grabbing a hold of a branch with both my hands. Ignoring the scrape of the bark against my palms, I
swung myself up as noiselessly as possible.
Not completely noiselessly though, because Bella appeared in the window. She shook her head in
shock, even though a smile was spreading across her face.
"I can't believe you really came!" she whispered.
"Shh!" I hissed back. "I don't want to get shot."
She smirked, zipping her lips and then crossing her arms. Oh my God, she was in a tank top and
apparently no bra. Oh shit, I almost fell. Shaking my head to clear it, I resumed my climbing, scaling

the branches easier the higher up I went.
"Do I have to quote the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet to get in?" I joked quietly, motioning for

her to step back so I could come in.
She frowned playfully, pretending to think it over for a minute before she stepped back with a smile to
let me in. Doing my best not to look down and freak out, I kept one hand on the branch above me and

reached my other out to use her windowsill and hoist myself inside.
"Too young to die, too young to die," I chanted under my breath. Bella clapped a hand over her mouth

to keep from giggling, her other reached toward me to offer assistance. I landed inside hard, but
silently. Confused, I looked down only to dart my eyes back up to Bella, who was grinning.
"I thought you might need a cushion," she whispered, glancing down at the pillows she'd laid on the
floor beneath her window.
"I think I might owe you my life," I grinned, pulling her into my arms for a hug.
"How're you going to repay me?" she asked playfully.
I grinned, squeezing her tighter to me. "Hugs…" I pulled back, taking her face into my hands and
kissing her gently. "Kisses…" Reaching down, I lifted her into my arms bridal-style. "Undying

devotion…"
She laughed silently, shaking her head at me. "So what did you have planned for tonight?"
"I don't care," I answered honestly. "I can hold you until you fall asleep or we can talk until the sun

comes up. Do wishes only work at sunset?"

"I'm not sure," she frowned. "Ninny never said."
I set her down and she pulled me to her bed, sitting down and crisscrossing her legs. I followed her
lead, finding it fairly easy to not focus on how short her shorts were by keeping an ear out for the

Chief's snores coming from down the hall. We talked for hours, her filling me in on her camping and
fishing trip, me about absolutely nothing at all. I wouldn't have cared if she wanted to read me a

textbook; I just wanted to hear her voice. I would miss it so much. When she started to yawn, I realized
how late it had gotten.
"I should go so you can sleep," I offered half-heartedly.
"No," she shook her head stubbornly. "I can sleep on the plane tomorrow. Stay, please. Unless you're

tired…"
"Bella, if you think there is even the slightest chance I could fall asleep here knowing the amount of

firearms your father has access to, you're not as smart as I thought," I smirked, catching her hand
when she tried to smack me.
"Oh, Dickward came out to play!" she sneered, tugging us both to lay down. I settled myself against the
headboard, not wanting to get too comfortable. I really was too young to die. She looked up at me, her

eyes soft. "Kiss me goodnight?"
I gulped when I looked down, because at this angle I could see straight down her shirt. And she was
most definitely not wearing a bra. My mouth suddenly felt dry and I couldn't swallow.
"I think you're really overestimating the limits of my self-control, Bella."
"What do you me-…Oh. I'm, uh, I'm not really ready for that with you, Edward," she said shyly.
Mindful of her fragile self-esteem, I smiled gently at her and chose my words carefully. "I love you. I
want you. But not right now. I just mean that if we start kissing, in a bed no less, my brain might lose

control over the rest of my body and I don't ever want to lose control with you and make you
uncomfortable.
"And as much as it pains me to agree with my dad on anything, I know we're too young. I also couldn't
stand the thought of doing something like that with you and then having to say goodbye after. If that

means I have to wait until we go to college together, then fine. I'll survive."
"You think about going to college with me?" she asked softly, smiling brightly.
"You don't?" I asked, surprised and a little hurt.
"No, of course I do! I just…I know you want Stanford, and…I guess I can't imagine leaving Renee," she

admitted sadly.
I sighed, because I did really want Stanford, but I wanted Bella too. Renee Swan nee Higginbotham
was really not one of my favorite people. Because I happened to know for a fact Bella wanted Stanford,

too. And she was going to end up holding Bella back in life the same way she felt Bella held her back,
because she was too selfish and Bella was too selfless.
"You have to sometime," I said softly, trying not to start a fight. "I don't want our last night to be sad.
Not when I risked life and limb for it."
She smiled, our worries forgotten for now. "Just one kiss?"
"I can do that. I did promise payment, after all."
I kissed her softly and slowly, never letting it deepen too much, but poured every ounce of love I felt for
her into it. She pulled back eventually, laying her head down and falling asleep almost instantly. I

knew I couldn't stay much longer, but I couldn't bring myself to leave yet. After awhile, she rolled over

onto me, splayed out across my chest.
"Edward."
"Yeah?" I'd thought she was asleep.
"Fish ate my worm. I need my book."
What?
Craning my neck around to get a look at her, her eyes were shut and her breathing was still even. Was

she sleep-talking?
"Bella? Are you awake?"
"My Edward. Stupid cactus."
I struggled to stay still as laughter threatened to burst out. What the hell was she dreaming about? I

couldn't believe I didn't know this about her, but it wasn't like I'd ever gotten to watch her sleep
before. I wondered if she knew. She would for sure be embarrassed if I razzed her for it. Which I

planned to.
I could feel my eyelids growing heavy and knew I needed to go before I accidentally fell asleep.

Slipping out from underneath her carefully, she still stirred once I was no longer holding her. Looking

around, I noticed Ed at the foot of the bed and grabbed it, placing it inside her searching fingers. She
pulled it to her instantly, breathing deeply and calming. I swallowed the lump in my throat and leaned

down, kissing her gently on the forehead once more.
"I love you, girl."
.
The only thing that got me through the rest of the summer was driver's ed. I loved to drive. My

parents took turns teaching me until my mom said she couldn't take my lead foot anymore. My dad
said I was better than Emmett, but seeing as Emmett had already lost his license because of too

many speeding tickets, I wasn't sure how to take that. Whatever. I was an excellent driver. A
natural, even.
The other interesting development was my need to shave. I'd been getting stray patches of scruff for
awhile now, but by the time tenth grade was in session, I had to get up a full fifteen minutes earlier

to shave off a full face of it. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I missed those fifteen minutes of
sleep. They were important.
The year started off much the same way last year ended, with Jasper and Alice always connected at

either the hand or mouth, and me trailing behind. Over the summer, Jessica and Lauren had paired
themselves up with Mike and Tyler, keeping stalkers and jocks alike off my back. That was a relief.

However, in the midst of all this coupling around me, it made me miss Bella even more.
After some shameless begging to my mom and solemn promising to my dad, I was allowed to get an

afterschool job. The deal was, if I kept my grades up while working and paid them fifty dollars a
month, I could use my cell phone whenever I wanted, except after ten on school nights. And my cell

phone had free long distance.
"Hello?"
"Bella?"
"Edward?"

"Hi!"
Why could I not say more than one word at a time?
"Hi! How are you calling me?"
"The phone is an amazing invention, Bella."
Silence.
"Kitten?"
"Yes, Dickward?"
"My parents gave me permission. I can call you whenever I want now."
"Oh my God! Are you serious? That is so awesome! Why did they change their mind?"
"I got a job afterschool. I'm bagging groceries at Ron's. It's the only place that'll hire anybody under
eighteen, but it's not too bad. Three days a week for a couple of hours and it pays enough for my

phone bill."
Silence. I checked my phone. I still had four bars.
"Bella?"
"Did you get a job just so you could talk to me?"
"Of course. I would do anything for you, Bella."
More silence. Then sniffles.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah…I just…nobody's ever…thank you, Edward."
"Thank me? You think I didn't do this for me too? I needed your voice, Bella."
"Still…I don't want to argue. I miss you, boy."
"Every day, girl."
We talked almost daily. Ironically, on the days I worked at the job I got to pay the phone bill, I didn't
have time to talk to her. As soon as I got off of work, my dad would pick me up, let me drive home,

and then it was a rush to eat dinner so I could get my homework done before bed. But even on those
days, there would always be some small note from her, either on email or IM, telling me she was

thinking of me, or missing me, or that she loved me. At least once a month I sat down and actually
wrote her a letter, and she did the same. There was just something about holding that piece of paper

in my hand and seeing her handwriting. I'd never told her, but I kept all her letters in a box under
my bed, even the ones from when we were little, tucked away with that little blue rubber band.
Just being able to hear her voice was enough to soothe the ache in my chest, enough to make my

steps lighter and my mood happier. I would be at the lunchroom table and find myself laughing,
remembering some small thing she'd said the night before, and Jasper would just nod his head in

understanding. He'd told me he didn't know how I did it, being away from her for so long at a time.
To him, Alice was his Bella, and he couldn't imagine going without seeing her for a day. Alice just

wanted to get to meet the girl that made me so happy.
That was how I found myself nervous and pacing, waiting for Bella to arrive the day after my

sixteenth birthday. I wasn't nervous because she was coming, I was nervous because Alice had
decided to throw a dual sixteenth birthday party for myself and Bella. She thought it was a tragedy

that we'd never gotten to spend our birthdays with each other and she was dead set on at least

creating the illusion of it, even though Bella wouldn't turn sixteen until September. She'd begged to

throw a full-fledged party that evening, but I'd been adamant that that was our time and wouldn't
budge. Besides, I had plans.
So she'd settled on a 'Sweet Sixteen Breakfast Birthday Feast' instead, getting my mom on board to
help her decorate the backyard and cook up a giant meal for the four of us. The 'cake' was a giant

pancake with sixteen little candles on top, and was placed next to a small stack of presents for Bella
and myself.
One important detail about this party? Bella had no idea. It was to be a complete surprise. So not
only would Bella be meeting Alice for the first time, which she was already a little nervous about,

she would also be walking into an ambush any minute completely unaware.
It was quite possible I would die a virgin and never see seventeen.
"Jasper, please. Talk some sense into your woman," I begged. "She's talking crazy."
"Hey! His 'woman' is standing right here and can hear you, you know! What is the point of planning

a surprise party, but then telling the person before they walk in?" Alice snapped, tapping her orange
shoe on the ground. Always the artist, she was currently in an Andy Warhol phase. Today, she was

dressed in more colors than a painter's palette.
"Because I don't think you're looking at this from all sides, Alice," I sighed. "How would you feel if
you were already nervous about meeting someone for the first time and then, on top of that, you

were pushed into the spotlight when you don't like attention? Bella. Is. Shy, Alice. I explained the
definition of this word to you. Remember?"
"I know! That's why we're having a simple breakfast instead of the party. All I'm saying is, is that we
should still yell surprise when she gets here! That way she knows it's all for her…and you," she

waved me off as an afterthought, making me roll my eyes. "You were all for this idea, Edward. Don't
get all nervous at the last minute and then freak out on me."
"Yes, Alice. I think the four of us having breakfast together is a good idea. I like that I'll get to see her
open up her birthday presents in person for once. But not. once. did I ever say that I wanted to pop

out from under a table and scream surprise in my girlfriend's face!"
"You are being such a little bitch about this, Edward," she sighed, shaking her head.
From behind me, I heard Jasper speak, but I was too busy having a stare-down of epic proportions
with Alice.
"We could just leave and come back. They do this all the time. They could be at it for awhile."
"No, this is fun. I wish I had some popcorn," Bella's soft voice answered.
I whirled around, shocked to find her sitting next to Jasper watching the 'Alice and Edward Show.'

She started laughing at the look on my face and I snapped out of my stupor, running over to her and
picking her up out of her chair to swing her around.
Overcome with emotion, I set her back on her feet and cradled her face gently. "You're really here," I
mused aloud.
Her eyes drifted shut as I pressed a kiss to her forehead, then both her eyelids, followed by the tip of
her nose and both her cheeks, until finally I found her lips. I had to stifle a moan as her hands crept

up my back, the heat of her palms burning me through my shirt as she pressed me to her. I couldn't
get close enough to her, letting one on my hands slide down to the small of her back to bind her to

me. There was a year's worth of longing and absence to make up for in this kiss, and I just couldn't
stop.

Somewhere in the background, I slowly became aware of voices speaking, but my focus was solely

on the girl in my arms.
"…over five minutes..."
"…think she'll pass out?"
"…never seen…like this…"
As if she had just now realized we were in front of an audience, I felt Bella's cheeks warm under my
hand and I smiled against her lips. Pulling back only an inch, I whispered.
"I love you."
Her eyes flew open looking straight into mine, an embarrassed smile still on her lips. "I love you,

too."
"I think they finally stopped," I heard Alice hiss from behind me. "Can I meet her now? Please?

Please?"
"Calm, Alice. You're vibrating again," I heard Jasper soothe.
Smiling widely at Bella, I raised my eyebrows expectantly. "Are you ready?"
"As I'll ever be," she said, swallowing visibly. I turned around to face Alice and Jasper, pulling Bella

in front of me and wrapping my arms around her waist.
I mouthed 'be good' to Alice and locked eyes with Jasper briefly, who got the hint and placed his
hands on Alice's shoulders to calm her. She was still vibrating a little bit.
"Bella, this is my friend and Jasper's girlfriend, Alice. Alice, this is my Bella."
I'd barely said Bella's name before Alice had escaped Jasper's grasp and leapt over to Bella, pulling

her out of my arms and into a hug. She was already going a mile a minute before she'd even released
her.
"Oh my God, I've been waiting to meet you for two solid fucking years. I feel like I already know you
because I've heard so much about you from Edward and Jazzy, but you're even prettier in person

than you are in your pictures. I hope you're not pissed about the party, you can blame me if you
want, I just wanted for you guys to have a special day together and this is just kind of what I do, and

I hope you're not pissed because I was bitching out Edward, because we seriously bitch at each
other all the time and we don't mean it at all, and I really, really want you and I to be friends."
"Friends on one condition," Bella replied, not missing a beat.
"Anything," Alice agreed hastily.
"No surprise parties? Like, ever," Bella said firmly.
"Seriously?" Alice squealed. "You really don't like them?"
"Really. Seriously. And you have got to stop bouncing. I love all your colors and everything, but

when you vibrate like that it makes me feel dizzy." I could hear the smile in her voice and I chuckled
under my breath, remembering my same reaction to Alice when I first met her.
Alice smiled sheepishly, slowing her bouncing. "Okay, so I wanted to talk to you about this idea I
had…" She walked off with Bella, arm-in-arm, explaining her ideas for a graphic novel based on

some charcoal sketches she'd been playing with lately, involving vampires, werewolves and
humans. She wanted Bella's help on a storyline and they began brainstorming ideas, Jasper and I

forgotten.

It was nice, though. I could tell Jasper was happy that Alice had a girl to talk with for once, and I was

just content enough to be in Bella's presence for now. I knew I'd get her to myself later and their
story actually sounded really interesting, even if the idea of sparkling vampires was more than a

little ridiculous. The same way Bella loved to hear me play piano for her, I loved to hear her mind
open up to me.
We ate our weight in bacon and scrambled eggs, and I had to admit it felt really good to get to watch
Bella blow out her birthday candles in person. She was bashful but gracious when opening her

presents, making me love her that much more when I saw how she appreciated such small things.
Like Alice's gift of monogrammed stationery and Jasper's gift of old-fashioned quill pens and ink.
As the morning passed, I started to feel that familiar desperation creep back in, my need to get Bella
to myself. Jasper caught my pleading expression and started the process of dragging Alice away,

albeit with protesting on her part. With email addresses and hugs exchanged, they left, finally
leaving Bella and me to each other at last.
"Wow," was all Bella could say after they left.
I laughed, nodding in agreement. "That's Alice."
"You guys are funny together. I mean, she obviously drives you crazy, but I can tell you love her."
I frowned, sputtering and stammering all over myself. "What? Bella! No! I don-"
"Oh my God, Edward. I didn't mean like that. I just meant you bitch at her like she's your kid sister.

It's cute, because I'm pretty sure she could kick your ass," she grinned mischievously.
I shrugged, relieved, but also knowing that it was true. "She scares the hell out of Emmett."
At the mention of Emmett, she looked around curiously. "Where is everybody?"
"Emmett's game. They'll be home soon."
"Do you ever miss it? Baseball?" she asked, reaching over and slipping her hand into mine.
"Miss seeing me in tight pants, kitten?" I teased, making her jaw drop. And then, like always, she

turned the tables on me in an instant.
"Maybe."
I laughed, shaking my head. "Why don't you go inside and wait for me in my room? I'll get this all
cleaned up and then we can get out of here."
She rolled her eyes and stood up, walking over to start gathering the dishes. "Yeah, right. We get one
day and you want me to lay on your bed alone while you clean?"
I was aware that her mouth was still moving, but I didn't hear anything after the words 'me lay on

bed.' She snapped her fingers in front of my face, shaking her head. Her eyes glanced down and
noticed the growing tent in the front of my pants, making her eyes dart away and her cheeks blush

bright red. Before I could get embarrassed, she looked back at me and smiled smugly.
"Are you thinking about me laying on your bed?"
I didn't miss a beat.
"Maybe."
.
By the time the patio was cleaned up, my family was home and I was more than a little impatient

waiting for all of them to get their hellos and how-have-you-beens out of the way. I knew they loved

her too, I couldn't blame them, but I was ready to have her all to myself without any more

interruptions. With a heavy sigh, firm instructions to leave my cell phone in the glove compartment,
to keep the music down and double-check my mirrors, my dad handed over the keys to his Volvo

grudgingly.
Inwardly, I was both ecstatic to be able to drive my girlfriend somewhere and absolutely terrified to

have the responsibility. The thought of anything ever happening to Bella was enough to send me
into a state of near panic, but the thought of me being the cause of it…
His warnings were unnecessary.
"Where are we going? And why didn't you tell me you got your license yesterday?" she exclaimed,

grinning as I opened the car door for her.
"Because I didn't talk to you yesterday," I reminded her as I climbed in. "And I wanted to surprise

you."
"Does that mean I don't get to know where we're going?" she asked playfully, her eyes narrowing.
"It means exactly that," I confirmed, motioning for her to buckle up before I even started the car.
She rolled her eyes, but complied, snapping it with a flourish. "Don't be a smartass. And don't

distract me. Make sure your door's locked."
She hid her smile badly, locking her door and sitting primly with her hands on her knees completely
still.
"Smartass," I muttered, turning the key and placing the car in reverse.
.
A little over half an hour later, we pulled into the parking lot at La Push Beach. It wasn't much as far
as dates went, but my parents wouldn't let me drive to Port Angeles without them and I wasn't

about to take Bella on a first date chaperoned.
"So we don't have to go anywhere near the deathly ocean, but I thou-"
I was cut off by her lips on mine, her mouth opening almost instantly to deepen the kiss. Taken by
surprise but recovering quickly, I wrapped my arms around her, really liking her way of thinking.

But she kept squirming, so I pulled back for a moment.
"What's wrong?" I panted.
"This stick thing," she gasped out, holding her side where the gear shift was apparently digging in.
Without even thinking, I pulled her toward me again, lifting her over the center console.
"Ow!" she cried out when her head hit the ceiling.
"Oh shit! Sorry," I grimaced, rubbing the back of it as she straddled my lap.
Wait.
Straddled. My. Lap.
Ohmygod.
Before my brain could even fully process that thought, she was kissing me again, her hands woven
into my hair. I tried to put my arms around her again, but kept hitting the steering wheel. Blindly, I

reached down to the lever on the side of my seat and reclined it back, never breaking our kiss. My
glasses were foggy and crooked on my face but I didn't care. At this angle her weight shifted,

pressing directly onto the biggest hard-on of my life. My hands were glued rigidly to her sides, only

a small shred of my self-control in place.
Slowly, I felt one of Bella's hands come out of my hair and reach down to touch one of mine. Shakily,

she slid it around to her stomach and then started inching it up. Oh my God, she just put my hand on
her boob. The emotions for the day seemed to be ecstasy and terror, because she was so soft and I

had absolutely no clue what to do. Since it was soft, I assumed a soft touch was necessary, even
though what I really wanted to do was grab onto it for dear life and never let go.
I cupped her gently, rubbing my thumb along the side. She made the most gratifying moan I'd ever
heard, albeit the first moan I'd ever heard, but that didn't matter because I was the one that made

her do it and all I wanted was to make her do it again. Experimentally, I moved my thumb again and
was rewarded.
Needing to breathe before I passed out, I pulled away from her mouth but couldn't stop kissing her.
I sucked in breaths between kisses down her jaw, exploring the previously uncharted territory of

her neck. Oh my God, she tasted good everywhere. The coordination required to keep my hold on
her breast gentle while I kissed and sucked on her neck was almost enough to distract me from the

zipper of my jeans digging into my dick. Almost.
"Oh God. Wait a second," I gasped, reaching down with my free hand to adjust myself. My other hand
might need to be pried away from her chest with a crowbar. It only took a second to maneuver it out

of harm's way and I was attached to her neck again before she could even ask.
The harder I kissed and sucked, the louder her moans got, and she started rocking above me

erratically. Regrettably, I dropped my hand from her boob and gripped her hips tightly, unsure
whether I wanted to encourage this to continue or stop it. She took this as an invitation to start

kissing on my neck and oh my God, now I was the one moaning. Without meaning to, I thrust up and
rubbed against her.
"Oh fuck," she whispered, and I did it again to see if I could elicit the same reaction. Her forehead
dropped to my shoulder when I repeated the action, and I felt the familiar tightening begin in the pit

of my stomach.
If I didn't stop this immediately, I was totally going to come in my pants.
"Bella…shit…we have to stop," I grunted, every pleasure receptor in my brain cursing me out. She
trembled and shuddered against me, pressing down on accident and making me grit my teeth.
I gripped her tighter to keep her still and she whimpered, making me wonder if I had hurt her.

When I looked down, I realized that with my hands splayed across her hips, my thumbs were
directly on the seam of her jeans at her center. Oh my God, I was touching Bella there.
"I'm sorry," I blurted out, ripping my hands away and gripping the sides of my seat, praying I hadn't
hurt or scared her. She just shook her head on top of my shoulder, her breath fast and heavy on my

neck. Nervous, I tilted my head down to whisper in her ear. "Are you okay?"
Slowly, she raised her head up to look me in the eye, smiling shyly. "Yeah…that was just…wow."
Releasing my death grip on the seat, I lifted my hands to push her hair back and hold her face.
"Really?"
She bit her lip, blushing. "Did…did it not feel good for you?"
I snorted, shaking my head. "Uh…yeah, just a bit."
She smiled, her eyes dropping to my neck right before she gasped.

"Holy crap, I gave you a hickey."
My hand flew to my neck, as if I could actually feel it. And then my eyes drifted down her neck. I
grimaced, trying not to show how much I liked my mark on her.
"Uh…you kind of have one too."
Her hands flew to her neck the same way I had, her face and chest flushing bright red.
"Are you serious?" she squeaked. "Is it bad?"
Moving her hand away to look again on the deeply purple mark, I sucked my lips into my mouth to

hide my smile. "Kinda."
To my surprise, she laughed. "So's yours."
I grinned, not even caring in the slightest. "Your hair'll probably cover it."
Giggling, she reached over and popped the collar up on my polo. "There. You can start a new trend."
"As much as I'd love to keep you on my lap forever, we have one more place to go before we catch a
sunset."
She smiled, giving me a sweet, quick kiss. "What are you going to wish for?"
I narrowed my eyes at her, shaking my head. "What are you going to wish for?"
She shrugged. "The same as every year," she answered, her tone light, but her eyes serious.
"What do you wish for, Bella?" I asked softly.
She shook her head, blinking away her emotion. "Can't tell. It won't come true."
"Someday you'll tell me," I stated, not questioned.
She nodded, her eyes dark and older than her age. I pulled her into me for one more kiss, trying to

memorize the feel of her hair in my fingers, the taste of her tongue, the smell of her skin. When she
broke away, she rested her forehead on mine.
"You have to move," I whispered. "I can't drive with you on my lap."
"Don't wanna," she sighed.
"Please?" I begged softly. "I'm trying to give you a real date. Let me?"
She sat up, her eyes surprised. "Is this our first date?"
"About time, don't you think?" I winked, sliding her off my lap over to her seat. I started the car and
turned on the defroster, because the windows had gotten a little fogged up. I fixed my seat and then

turned to look at her. She was chewing on her fingernail, a huge grin on her face. "What are you
smiling about?"
She just shook her head, smiling wider as she buckled up. I sighed, doing the same and reversing out

of the parking space.
Manual and translator. What I would give.
.
We pulled into the Forks diner parking lot half an hour later, right as Bella's stomach started

growling.
"Good timing," I joked, smiling at her embarrassed blush.

"Shut up," she muttered, unbuckling and reaching for her door handle.
"Wait!"
I got out and ran around the car, opening her door.
"Always a gentleman," she smiled, shaking her head. "How do I keep other girls from stealing you
away?"
Rolling my eyes, I threw my arm over her shoulder as we walked to the door. "As far as I'm
concerned, you're the only girl on the planet."
We slipped into a booth and had an early dinner of burgers, fries and milkshakes. I knew it was a
totally typical teenage thing to do, but the way I saw it, Bella didn't get the chance to be a teenager

the majority of the year with her mom. Plus, we were teenagers, and my job at the grocery store
didn't exactly afford me the ability to take her to a four-star restaurant. Either way, we had a great

time, never running out of things to talk about, holding hands across the table, and giving ourselves
stomach aches from eating too much pie.
She thankfully didn't protest when I paid the bill, hopefully realizing how important it was to me to
be able to take her out like this. I held her hand as we walked back to the car, glancing up at the

slowly lowering sun in the sky.
"We'll make it in time," she said surely, voicing my thought. I smiled and nodded, helping her into
the car before climbing in myself to hurry back to the house. She grabbed her bag from inside

quickly before the two of us took off for the tree, trying to make it to the shelter of its branches
before the rain began to fall. The water was so heavy in the air I could smell it.
We'd barely sat down and caught our breath before the lightning started to streak across the sky in
the distance. Bella reached into her backpack right away, rummaging around for something.
"Aha!" she smiled, lifting out a small box. We hadn't exchanged presents with each other earlier at
the party, only received from Alice and Jasper. Hers was currently burning a hole in my pocket. I

took it curiously, asking her with my eyes if I could open it. She nodded, sucking her bottom lip into
her mouth and worrying her hands.
I lifted the lid easily and pulled out a wide piece of leather with an etching of a tree on it. I held it up
confusedly and she blushed.
"I don't know if you remember, but a long time ago, I gave you a rubber band? Anyway, we were
working with leather in art class and I started thinking maybe I could give you something a little

sturdier to wear, to have something from me with you always. It's, um…it's like a cuff? If it's too girly

to wear a bracelet, I understand, you don't have to wear it, it won't hurt my feeli-"
I broke off her rambling with a kiss, chuckling breathlessly against her mouth. We thought so

similarly sometimes it was scary. I pulled away, smiling at her and shaking my head. Holding out my
arm in offering, she beamed and snapped the cuff around my wrist, and I was happy to find that it fit

perfectly.
I pulled her into my lap to hug her, nuzzling my face into her neck. "Thank you."
She leaned back a bit, still smiling. "You really like it?"
"Yes," I laughed. "And for the record, I still have that rubber band. It's at home in a safe place. I

would still wear it, but it snapped about three years ago."
"You kept it?" she laughed. I shrugged shamelessly, leaning my back against the tree.

"I have something for you, too," I admitted quietly. She followed the movement of my hand with her

eyes as I reached into my pocket for the small cloth sack inside.
"The date was more than enough, Edward," she said seriously, but allowed me to open her hand,

facing her palm up.
"How many times do I have to tell you?" I smiled, opening the sack and pouring its contents into her

waiting hand. "I give you things because it makes me happy. I'm a lot more selfish than you think,
Bella."
She shook her head in disagreement, but looked down to see her present. A broad smile spread
across her face as she stroked the small charm gently. Silently, she lifted her hair, allowing me to

clasp the chain around her neck, the tree resting right on top of her heart.
"So you always have it with you," I whispered, catching the lone tear that fell down her cheek.

Leaning in to kiss her, she met me halfway, returning my kiss with a feeling of almost desperation.
Her arms wrapped around my neck, tightening until they could grow no tighter. I felt wetness on my

cheeks that I knew didn't come from me and I wrenched back, alarmed.
"What's wrong? Talk to me," I begged.
"Will you come see me again this summer? After I get back from camping? I need more time with

you. I can't…I can't…" she couldn't talk through her tears and I couldn't swallow the lump in my
throat from the sight of her pain. I whispered yeses between kisses peppered all over her face until

she calmed down. Glancing over at the horizon, I smiled a pained, bittersweet smile at the sight of
the sun melting into the trees.
"Make a wish," I whispered.
She inhaled a shaky breath, exhaling, "Done."
Please let us find a way to be together.
I just couldn't say goodbye anymore.

When you held onto me
Like I was your little life raft
Please know
That you were mine as well

~*~

Chapter Eleven

I started eleventh grade in a funk that didn't get much better as the year wore on. From practically
the first day, every teacher in every single one of my classes was harping about colleges and

universities, requirements and requisites, grades and scholarships, percentiles and admissions.

Two full years before we had to leave for college, the pressure was on. I started taking PSAT classes
afterschool twice a week, drastically cutting into my talking-to-Bella time.

E_C620 writes: I have maybe 30 seconds before I fall asleep in my vocabulary book. I wanted to

tell you I love you one more time.
B_Swan913 writes: I love you. I miss you. Xoxo
E_C620 writes: One more kiss

Even my parents giving me and Emmett their old Volvos when they bought new cars for themselves

wasn't enough to lift me out of it. Because with every mention of college, all I could think was
Bella…Bella…Bella…I'd wanted to go to Stanford since I could remember, since the first time I saw a

picture of my dad on campus back in his heyday. Everything about that school screamed 'perfect' to
me; the location, the prestige, the accreditations. Everything. Bella had loved it ever since she read

an article showcasing its library. She'd loved the alumni magazine the article came in as well,
wanting to write for it someday. And she liked California too, in spite of its ocean of death.

B_Swan913 writes: It's late and I can't sleep. I miss you.
B_Swan913 writes: I wish Ed still smelled like you.
B_Swan913 writes: I love you.

But she was stuck with her mom. I knew she didn't see it that way, but that's how I did. And it pissed

me off. Even at Bella, a little bit, and that wasn't something I was used to. What was she really

planning on doing with her life? Just follow Renee around until she learned how to take care of
herself properly, if ever? In my opinion, she was only enabling Renee by handling her the way she

was. Some people just couldn't learn unless they were forced. But therein was a huge part of the
problem. It was easy for me to say or think that, because it wasn't my mom. And I didn't really know

what I'd do if it was. So I didn't say anything to her, because I was smart enough to know that the
person that asked the other to choose always got left behind.

E_C620 writes: I'm sorry I missed you kitten.
E_C620 writes: I hope you got some sleep.
E_C620 writes: I love you.

Down in Phoenix she was as busy as I was, with prep classes and Honor's Society. It had been a hard

summer for her, to go back to Arizona and find out that Riley and Bree's father was being
transferred for his job, moving them halfway around the world at the end of July. Besides the few

acquaintances she had in her writing club, she didn't really have anyone else. Enter Alice. Alice
gladly assumed best girl friend position with Bella, IMing with her daily about girl things Jasper and

I really didn't want to know too much about. We did think that it was beyond awesome that our

girlfriends were making a comic book, though. Alice would scan her latest sketches and email them
to Bella, and then Bella would work on storylines to follow the drawings, sometimes continuing on

for Alice to reciprocate with the proper illustrations. Alice begged Bella to let her send a cell phone
to Phoenix, but Bella point blank refused. She couldn't pay for it herself and she couldn't get a job to

pay for it, because they only had one car and Renee was always gone.

E_C620 writes: It says there's a storm coming in there. Are you okay?
B_Swan913 writes: Yeah. Just annoyed. Housebound again.

Renee had started dating a minor league baseball player that was almost half her age, named Phil.

Bella said he was nice enough, what little she'd seen of him. He was on the road a lot and if he was
within a reasonable driving radius, which apparently according to Renee was one state away or

less, she was there visiting him. I was so worried about Bella. The thought of her home alone for
entire weekends at a time terrified me. She didn't even have Riley there anymore. Who was there to

protect her? What if something happened, an accident? I could drive myself to distraction imagining

all the different scenarios that could happen. A fire, a fall, a burglar…Every time I called her and she
didn't pick up right away, I'd be in a frenzy until I got a hold of her.
So there was the crux of the matter. If Bella refused to leave Renee's side, would I choose Stanford
over her? Could I? Given how much I worried about her now, how would I function when I knew she

was on campus in a city where five hundred and fifty women were raped last year? Over two
hundred murders, one of the highest rates in the country. Great, now I wanted to skip Calculus next

period and go home to message her.
But would I resent her for it if I didn't go? Would it even be fair to resent her, if it was my choice?

Bella didn't expect me to not go to Stanford. As a matter of fact, she'd probably be pissed to know I
had already looked into the music program at the University of Phoenix, which sucked. But what

else could I do? Go through another four years of not seeing her until I finished my undergrad? And
then what? Would we get married and just move Renee in with us? Great, now I wanted to skip

Physics last period and go home to bang my head against the wall for an hour.
Jasper was set on Stanford too, even though Alice wanted UC Berkeley. That only set them back

about fifty miles. It was almost annoying to hear them make plans on how they'd see each other

when the time came to separate, lamenting the distance that would be between them. An hour.
Stanford was eleven hours away from Phoenix. I'd already been living over twenty-four hours away

from her for the last seven years. Over fifteen hundred miles. That's a lamentable distance, Jazz.
All of this torment swirling in my head? It was just that. Swirling in my head, never discussed. I

wouldn't let my selfishness drive a wedge in our relationship. I was counting on Renee to do that for
me with her own self-centeredness. Bella was a smart person. She had to figure out what was best

for her on her own. I just hoped it was sooner rather than later. In the meantime, she knew I
worried about her, and she did her best to reassure me. She never got irritated with me when she

came home from a prep class to her phone ringing off the hook because I'd been trying to call her
for over an hour. She understood it wasn't about control or jealousy; it was pure, unadulterated

fear. Her mom left her home three weekends a month and she was only sixteen, for fuck's sake. I
didn't even think that was legal.
"Hel-"
"Are you okay? Is everything okay? Are you alright?"
"Hi, Edward. Everything's fine, I just missed the first bus. I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Now."
I tried to not let the stress of it all get to me, but it was. My parents thankfully didn't know about

what was going on with Bella, so they assumed it was all the schoolwork. They knew I missed her,
but that didn't exactly take a genius. They offered to take over my cell phone bill so I could quit

Ron's, but I didn't want the extra time. I wouldn't study, I'd worry. They didn't put up too much of a
fight, since they were a bit preoccupied trying to help Emmett get into Northwestern. He needed a

lot of tutoring that I just didn't have time to give him.
Music became close to an obsession for me, the only place I could really stop thinking about

everything and just let myself be distracted. I'd poured through every music theory book Forks had
to offer, becoming proficient enough in the art of composition to create pieces for not only piano,

but duets with guitar and other strings. Just for fun, I would transpose classical favorites into new
arrangements and variations, until I had a portfolio of recordings and pieces large enough to rival

most professionals. It was never a total escape, though. All it took was one glance down at my wrist,
and the leather remembrance of Bella was back at the forefront of my mind.

As the school year wound down to an end, I was getting more and more anxious to see her. I had

daily fantasies about seeing her again, the weight in my chest growing heavier by the moment. I
would imagine picking her up from the airport, complete with the whole airport cliché, where I

would be looking for her in a crowd of people, she would see me and run to me, jump into my arms
with her legs around my waist and kiss me like her life depended on it. In some of the fantasies it

progressed to me dragging her to the nearest bathroom to pin her against a wall and kiss her until
she agreed to live with me, but neither of those were very likely to happen. One: because I'd likely

get carried away and had no interest in us losing our virginities in a germy airport bathroom, and
two: because her dad always picked her up. He just had to have that one day with her before I could

have her, even though it was my birthday. Another fantasy I had was slashing the tires on the
cruiser so I could hijack his plans.
A boy could dream.
Jasper and Alice were worried about me, I knew, but I'd sworn them both to silence regarding Bella.

I didn't want her to feel I was trying to guilt or pressure her into anything. But I didn't miss their
shared worried glances when I would hang up my phone frustrated, not being able to get a hold of

her. Jazz kept his mouth shut when we were practicing some of the darker pieces in my composing

repertoire, and Alice was always quick with a distraction if I started to seem depressed when we
talked about Bella. And I was trying really hard to not be this pathetic wimp that couldn't survive

without his girl, because it wasn't fair to everyone else around me. I'd known going into this it
would be hard, but nothing could have prepared me for the pain I felt being away from her.
So there was this balancing act of sorts, where in front of Jasper, Alice, and my parents, I was okay. I
made sure to laugh when everybody else laughed, and interact for a socially acceptable amount of

time with all of them, until I could be alone and let the mask fall away. With Bella, I didn't have to
hide the pain, because it disappeared every time I heard her voice. It was only after we'd hung up

that it would return and I would crawl into a place inside my head where she was there with me and
never had to leave. I would hear her laugh at some joke I told her to make her feel less lonely, I

would hear her moans when I would touch myself and think of her, I would hear her whispers as I
slowly fell asleep.
When I dreamed, it was always of her.
As soon as school let out, my body was on a countdown. Even without a calendar or watch, I could

feel it. Three more weeks until I can kiss her…Time would tick on. Seventeen more days until I can

hold her hand…Getting so close. One hundred and ninety more hours until I can feel her face when she
blushes…
Finally, it was down to the last week. My parents were busy trying to get their schedules and plans
in order, because Emmett hadn't gotten into Northwestern, so they were taking him on a tour of the

University of Washington. They'd be back by midday on my birthday, and I'd had to assure my mom
over and over again that it was fine. I'd only been able to get out of going with them by lying through

my teeth and saying I needed to work. The less I had to be around people, the less I had to pretend.
The closer I got to Bella's arrival, the harder it was to keep the mask on, to keep from snapping at

my mom when she asked me for the hundredth time if I was excited to get to see her, to keep from
driving down to Phoenix and stealing her for myself.
The first day they'd been gone, the silence that came from their absence had been so nice. So
peaceful. But by the second day, I couldn't stop my thoughts from running a mile a minute. Now that

my junior year was officially over, it just brought me that much closer to an uncertain future. In the
morning, I tried to distract myself by rearranging my CD collection, only to rearrange it right back. I

had a system of organized chaos that couldn't be touched. After I forced myself to eat some lunch, I

played piano until my fingers started to cramp and my ears started to ring from the loud, angry

notes. Slamming my fists down and wincing at the discordance that echoed around me, I realized
being in the house wasn't working. I was going stir-crazy.
I left the house and started walking, aimless and with no destination. Drops of water fell on me
randomly, as if the clouds couldn't decide if they were going to open or pass. I walked past the high

school, seeing the empty baseball diamond behind the building. I smiled, remembering Bella's
cheers and raves, her toothy grin when I gave her the game ball so many years ago. As I walked past

the diner and looked through the windows, I didn't notice the families inside eating dinner; I saw
Bella in that corner booth with me, smiling and holding my hand across the table on our first and

only date. When I passed her house, I couldn't help but look at her window and the tree of doom I'd
learned to climb so well. I wondered if the Chief ever went in her room and just sat there,

remembering her presence and missing her. The light was off, of course, because she wouldn't be
here until tomorrow, and even then I wouldn't see her until the day after. The house was dark

except for the flashes of a TV screen I could see through the kitchen window as I passed.
I hadn't meant to, but I wasn't completely shocked when I ended up right in front of our tree.

Memories that were so happy they were almost painful to recall played like a movie in front of my

eyes; images of Bella and I laughing, kissing, and chasing each other 'round and 'round the tree.
I would have given anything to be able to feel closer to her and if there had ever been a place filled

with memories of her, it was here. But it wasn't the same here without her. I'd never come here
before without her and it didn't hold any magic without her presence. Without her, it was just a

tree.
The storm was going to be big, the lightning striking somewhere in the distance and making definite

contact. For a moment, it outshone the sun that slate gray clouds tried to hide as it slipped down
into the trees. I closed my eyes, hearing her whisper in my mind.
"Make a wish."
Over the years, my wishes had varied. Some elaborate, most not, all of them about her. It was no

different now, but it felt simpler. My wants felt simpler. Because all I wanted, all I could wish for,
was her.
Please. I just want her.
My answer was the bottom of the clouds finally giving way to the weight of the water inside them. I

didn't care. Keeping my eyes closed, I stood just beyond the reach of the tree, unable to find shelter

in its branches without her here with me. The rain soaked me through and the sun was long since
disappeared, but I just stood, repeating it, over and over.
Please. Just give me her. Please.
Please.
Please.
"Edward."

Now it's found us
Like I have found you
I don't want to run
Just overwhelm me

~*~

Chapter Twelve

"Edward."
God, her voice sounded so real. So perfect. A cold touch on my cheek made my eyes fly open

suddenly, only to see her right in front of me. Well, that was new. When I'd imagined her, I'd never
actually hallucinated before. I blinked a few times, wondering why I would imagine her soaked to

the bone and shivering. She was watching me curiously, as if she expected me to speak. It was my
hallucination. Shouldn't she be the one talking?
"Are you on something?"
"Oh my God, are you real?"
She crinkled her nose and blinked at me in shock. "Uh…last time I checked?"
I wasn't a hundred percent sure about this. Surely if I touched her, she'd fade away and my hands

would grasp empty air.
"How are you here?"
"The airplane is an amazing invention, Edward."
A grin so wide it made my cheeks hurt spread across my face as I stepped forward and swung her

around in the air, trying not to slip on any mud puddles that would send her flying out of my arms
or both of us to the ground. Our laughs mixed with the other's, drowning out the rain and thunder

all around. I slowly slid her to her feet, keeping her steady at the waist in case she was dizzy.
The lightning flashes around us gave me enough light to see the bright excitement in her eyes and
her smile that never faltered.
"Do you come here a lot?"
"No," I laughed, shaking my head, unable to tear my eyes away from hers. "This is actually the first

time. I just…needed it, I guess. But it didn't work. It's not the same without you here. God, I can't
believe you're here. I missed you so much, Bella."
Her smile grew as she placed her hands on my upper arms and squeezed gently.
"Did you make a wish?"
I grinned crookedly, nodding my head. "Yeah, and I have to say that it worked pretty well."
"Why?" she laughed.
"Because I wished for you," I admitted seriously. "And here you are."
Her smile fell, her eyes locked on mine. "Every year, I wish for you. Every year, that's all I want."
"Why are you telling me this now?" I asked, amazed. "You nev-"
"Because I finally got it. I don't need to wish anymore."
My grip on her waist tightened slightly, but I was sure I misunderstood what she was saying. She

had to mean because she got to visit early. She couldn't mean…

"I'm finally home."
"You mean…?" I breathed.
"I'm not going back to Phoenix this time. I'm staying in Fo-"
I cut her off with my lips, kissing her harder and fiercer than I ever had before. Hallucination or
dream, I would take it. But as she wrapped her arms around me and held me as I tightly as I was

wound around her, the more and more I started to let myself believe that this was real. I wanted to
know why and when and a million other things, but at this moment, I just couldn't get close enough.
Her body seemed to be shaking in my arms and at first, I thought she was crying. Pulling back in
concern, I realized she was actually just freezing. Even though it was summer, we were both soaked

through and I registered I was shivering as well.
"C'mon," I panted. "I need to get you dry."
Taking her by the hand, I led her as quickly as the water and mud would allow, wiping the rain from
my glasses as I guided us across the field and through the trees until we got to my house.
"Where is everyone? I came here first, but when nobody answered I went to the tree," she asked
through chattering teeth as I unlocked the door and pulled her inside.
"They're in Seattle until tomorrow," I answered, leading her up the stairs to my room. She needed

out of those clothes quick or she was going to get sick. "With Emmett at U-Dub. Wait…did you walk
here from Charlie's? When did you get here? I have so many questions."
She smiled sheepishly. "I know. I'll explain everything. And yeah, I pretty much ran here straight
from my dad's. He wasn't happy I was running right off, but I guess since I'm going to be here

permanently…"
I had to stop and hug her again. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. "God, that

sounds so good. I can't believe you're here. Really here and I don't have to say goodbye this time."
Still shivering, her eyes were shy. "We don't ever have to say it if you don't want to."
Leaning in to kiss her once more, I whispered. "Never."
The kiss was briefer than I wanted, but we were both freezing. I pulled her into the bathroom,

switching on the light and starting the water. Turning back around to face her, I was able to fully see
how drenched she was, while I tried very hard to keep from staring at her now see-through t-shirt

that was clinging to her for dear life. Lucky fucking t-shirt.
"You need to warm up. If you give me your clothes, I'll throw them in the dryer and find you

something to wear. You can just, um, like, pass them through the door," I mumbled, realizing I was

basically standing there demanding she strip. And then get in my shower. Naked. God, that would be
fueling my fantasies for months.
In spite of her being cold, she flushed across her chest, neck and face as she nodded furiously. I
escaped, shutting the door behind me and leaning against it for a moment. My unbelievably

gorgeous girlfriend that I hadn't seen or touched in a year was on the other side of this door getting
naked. I rubbed my hands over my face in an attempt to gain some composure. She needed a shower

to warm up and she needed some dry clothes.
I searched the back of my closet, looking for some t-shirts and sweats from a couple of years back,

hoping to find something small enough so that it would stay on her. The last thing my nearly
nonexistent self-control needed was to put her in a t-shirt that would fall down her shoulder or

pants that dropped as soon as she stood. Maybe I should get her some of my mom's clothes. That

would kill my erection for sure.
I heard the door to my bathroom open and I grabbed the first thing my hands touched and walked

back out of my closet, only to screech to a halt. She was standing in the doorway in only a towel,
using one hand to hold it to her body and the other to hold her dripping clothes. Oh God, I'm pretty

sure I just saw some kind of lace.
"Berjigimafa."
Her eyebrows furrowed and she cocked her head. "What?"
I shook my head, trying to remember how to speak basic English. Walking over to her, I took the wet

clothes from her hands and shoved the dry ones into them.
"You're shaking," she whispered, her eyes glittering in the dim light coming from my closet.
"I am?" I gulped. I hadn't noticed.
She nodded, focusing very hard on my very interesting desk behind me. "You need to get warm."
"I do?" I blinked. Her hair was dripping water down her chest, disappearing into the towel. Lucky
fucking towel.
She nodded again, tossing the dry clothes on the counter beside her and fisting her hand in my shirt.

Pulling gently, she walked me back and I followed automatically, throwing her wet clothes into the
sink. With one hand still on her towel, clutching it so tightly her knuckles were white, her other slid

down to my wrist and unsnapped the cuff there, setting it gently down on the counter before
returning to the edge of my shirt as she pried it from skin.
Understanding, I tossed my glasses aside and crossed my arms to lift my shirt over my head swiftly,
cold and nervous and self-conscious. She swallowed visibly, her eyes flitting over my chest and

stomach. I stood there frozen, hoping she didn't find me lacking. I was no bodybuilder.
"You're so perfect."
I half-snorted, half-choked. "No. You are."
She smiled at me then, her eyes fixed on mine. For a moment, I forgot that she was in nothing but a

towel and I was standing in front of her half-naked.
"I look like a drowned cat."
I bit the inside of my cheek to hide my smile, but she still saw it. Rolling her eyes, she sighed.
"I know. You can say it."
"Aww. Kitten," I snickered, wrapping my arms around her and nuzzling her nose with mine. Her

eyes fluttered close and she tilted her head up slightly, letting me capture her mouth with mine. As
soon as the soft cotton of her towel rubbed against my chest, I was very aware again of what we

were, or weren't wearing.
"Are you sure?"
I wasn't sure what I was asking, whether it was the nakedness, or the shower, or what might come
after, but she nodded anyway, taking a step back so I could unbutton my jeans. She thankfully kept

her eyes on mine as I pushed them down with my boxers, even though I was tempted to just shower
with those on. Unstoppable teenage hormones had made me hard in spite of the wet coldness of my

pants, and I was at full attention, like a compass pointed straight for north. Only Bella was my north
and my hopefully-not-too-small dick was the compass needle.

Nervously, her grip on the towel loosened, letting it fall down her body silently. Her eyes were wide

and scared, what little I would allow myself to see of her chest heaving.
"Are you sure?" I whispered again, my heart in my stomach. She nodded slowly, so I pushed back the

curtain for us to climb inside, the hot water at once soothing both of us. She melted into my chest,
my erection stuck between us. I wrapped my arms completely around her, relishing my first feel of

her skin against my skin, my hands on her back, her chest on mine. With my arms around her slight
form, I felt protective, I felt strong.
When she lifted her head from my chest and pouted her lips at me, I lost it.
Before she could gasp, I had her pinned against my shower wall, the same shower wall I had leaned

against and stroked myself countless times to images of her in my mind. My lips moved hungrily
against hers, my hands eager over her ribs and hips. I slowly moved my hand up to cup her breast,

unable to believe the difference between my memories of her clothed chest and what I was feeling
now. The softness I had felt a year ago had nothing on the silky feel of her skin, the way she fit my

greedy hand so perfectly.
"Is this okay?" I rasped, sucking in a sharp breath as her shaky hand brushed against my dick.
"Is this?" she whispered, touching it only with feather-soft fingertips, experimenting, exploring.
My fingers dug into her skin, making her wince, so I retracted immediately. "Yes. I'm sorry. Yes."
She ran her fingers up and down, not grasping, simply touching and slowly driving me crazy. I

buried my face in her neck, kissing and biting while thrusting against her with no control. We were
both already panting and we hadn't even exerted ourselves. Yet.
"Is this…I don't know what to do," she admitted in a hushed whisper. I gritted my teeth, summoning
all of my courage to move my hand from her waist and grab hers, wrapping both of our hands

around me. My thrusting hadn't stopped, so she simply moved her hand up and down with my
movements, making my eyes roll back in my head.
"God…fuck…yes…just like that…" I groaned, rolling her breast in my hand, running my thumb across
her nipple and making it stiffen. She whimpered, pushing her chest further into my hand which I

took as encouragement. Removing my other hand from around hers on my dick, I pressed it flat
against her stomach and moved it down slowly, giving her ample time to refuse me. She inhaled

sharply when my fingers reached her center for the first time and I kissed her deeply in return,
trying to make her understand that this was me wanting to love her, and nothing else.
The only problem was, whereas my parts were pretty straightforward, hers were a little more

complicated. There was a thick bundle of skin that my fingers just brushed over, what I
academically knew to be the clitoris, but what I personally knew to be a mystery to all mankind. The

soft, hidden folds below felt wet, almost slippery. Which of these things was I supposed to explore?
All of it felt soft, especially the part…Fuck. My finger slipped inside her, unknowing, and all I could

think was, if I get in there, I'm going to lose it. Because no matter how tight or lotioned my fist was
when I beat myself off, nothing could feel better than that.
Her moans guided me as I slid my finger in and out, helping to distract me from the grip she had on
me. At times too tight, at times too loose. But that made it all the more surreal. She had never

touched anyone else this way and neither had I.
All of our firsts, with the same person we also wanted to be our last.
The hot water chose that moment to run out, blasting us with a cold spray that made Bella shriek. I
turned it off quickly and withdrew my finger from her gently, both of her hands already around my

waist. There was enough steam for me to continue to kiss her for a moment, until the air started to

chill us. She shivered against me, forcing me to move away from her long enough to pull us out of

the bathtub.
I reached up blindly for two towels out of the cabinet above the commode and draped one around

her shoulders before wrapping one around my waist. I had no clue what I was doing or what I
should do next, but thankfully Bella helped that along by reaching up and tangling her hands in my

hair as she elevated on her tiptoes and kissed the breath out of me.
With no remembrance of how we got there, I found myself on top of her on my bed, her towel

forgotten…somewhere, mine still loosely fixed around my waist as my body covered hers and my
tongue delved deep into her mouth. She was shivering beneath me, but I couldn't tell if it was

because of cold, nerves, or desire. I hoped it was the latter, but just in case, I pulled my blankets up
around us and wrenched back from her mouth to look down on her.
"Are you okay?" I asked breathlessly. She nodded back furiously, pulling me back down to her and
letting her hands run wild, up and down my back, around to my chest and shoulders, across my

lower stomach. I followed her lead, bracing myself with one arm and letting my free hand roam,
trailing my fingertips over her arms and down to her chest, releasing her lips to watch her as I felt

over the mounds of flesh there. Watching her writhe and moan was beyond anything my simple

mind could have ever dreamed up. She was impossibly beautiful, feeling this way because of me.
Curious, I leaned down and let the flat of my tongue run over a nipple, feeling her moan vibrate

beneath my lips. Taking that as encouragement, I dragged my lips across her chest to place a kiss
atop her other while my hand continued to tease the breast not receiving my mouth's attention.
As I enjoyed the taste of her skin more, my hand moved on, sliding my fingers down her stomach
and feeling her skin turn to gooseflesh at my touch. Through a small patch of hair, I found that

bundle of nerves I felt before and attempted to bring her pleasure by pressing on it as my fingers
passed, watching her carefully.
"Ah!" she gasped, thrusting against my hand. I did it again and she bit her lip, hissing in a breath.
"Is this okay?" I whispered, pushing down again to make clear my question. Her eyes wide in

anticipation, her head jerked up and down and her back arched again as I kept the palm of my hand
firm on her and slid one finger down. It was still very wet, which even I knew was a sign that I was

doing something right. It was utterly fascinating to learn her body's responses as I touched her, to
watch her reactions. I developed a rhythm with my fingers, almost as if I were playing a piece of

music. The motion of my finger thrusting in and out of her created a circular motion with the heel of

my hand pressed down on her clit, and after only a few moments her whimpers turned to moans,
her writhing became thrashing.
"Ohmygod. Please. Please," she begged, her eyes clenched tightly shut and her hands buried in her
hair. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. In my fantasies and dreams, I'd made Bella come more

times than I could count, but with her right in front of me, actually falling apart at my hands, it was
indescribable. All I wanted was to know what that please meant; what I needed to do to push her

over the edge.
Bravely, fearfully, I carefully slid one more finger inside of her to join the first. It was so tight I was

afraid I might hurt her, but when I curled them in, she completely fell to pieces before me. Her
entire body stiffened, her forehead wrinkled in concentration, her mouth frozen in a small, pouty O.
"You are so beautiful," I murmured, leaning my head down to kiss her top lip, then suck her bottom
into my mouth. She responded immediately, her hands ripping away at the only barrier still left

between us.
"Wait," I panted, stilling her. "I don't have anything. I wasn't expecting this. We can-"

"I've been on the pill since I was fourteen," she said softly as she flicked my hands off of hers and

pulled the towel completely loose from my waist.
"I don't want to hurt you," I croaked. For the first time, I felt my head rub down her clit, then settling

between her thighs. "God. Are you sure? Because I don't know if I'll be able to stop if I-"
"I don't want you to stop," she interrupted simply. "I know it will hurt. This time. Please. All I've

thought about for the last year is feeling you. I just want to feel you."
I melted back into her, kissing her deeply. There was no fighting this; there was no room for doubt.

She was meant to be mine and I had always been hers. Taking a hold of myself, I positioned the tip
right at her entrance, pushing inside slowly.
Her eyes gave away her discomfort, making me want to stop, but those same eyes warned me
against it, urging me on. I could never have anticipated the heat, the tightness, the feeling. I tried to

keep my focus away from the feeling and more on her, so that I didn't end this faster than it began.
"Are you okay?" I whispered. She nodded quickly, her breaths still shallow and tense.
"Yes…just…I think I need you…to move," she gasped out, but I couldn't just start going at her when
she was so rigid. I leaned down and kissed her as I pulled back some, driving my tongue into her

mouth at the same time I thrust forward, a bit further than before. Suddenly, I felt her muscles

clamp down around me so tightly I couldn't move any further and I realized I had just broken
through her barrier. I stopped again, panicked, my eyes flitting all over her face.
"Are you okay?"
That seemed to be the only question I was capable of asking tonight. Again, she nodded quickly,

pressing her hands firmly on my lower back.
"It just…ow…stings…but, please…move," she choked out, relaxing her muscles slightly, enough that I

could start moving again inside her slowly. With her permission, I couldn't resist. And it felt so
unbelievably good that I didn't want to. Fantasies, I now realized, could be misleading. Roughness

could be mistaken for passion; loudness could be mistaken for intensity…
But here, right now, as I slowly moved in and out her, I felt passion and intensity for what they

really were. Passion was the overwhelming ecstasy I felt as I loved my girl, my only girl, my best
friend, carefully, cherishing this gift she was giving me. Intensity was the power of knowing I was

the only one to ever know her this way; that I would do everything I could to make sure I was the
only one who ever did.
Looking down on her face, more relaxed now with her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide open and

staring straight through me, I had never felt closer to her. I whispered my love for her, over and
over, mixed with other unintelligible noises and words that feebly tried to convey how precious she

was to me, how amazing this felt, how completely and utterly in love with her I was.
The sensation continued to climb and climb, until I reached a point where I felt I couldn't go any

higher. I took her lips with mine again, inhaling her hot exhales into my mouth, groaning as I met
my end. It was so different from anything I'd ever felt before, it was so much better than anything I'd

ever felt before. I felt it in every nerve of my body, my brain unable to fully comprehend the
enormity of what we'd just done, my heart threatening to explode out of my chest with all the

emotion the completion of this this brought out in me.
"Bella."

Her fingers dug into the small of my back as I struggled to not collapse on top of her, beads of sweat

dripping from me onto her. Burying my face in her wet hair, I rested there as my breathing slowly
returned to normal.
Kissing her neck gently once, I whispered, "I love you."
She hummed in reply, whimpering slightly as I softened and slipped out of her.
"Are you okay?"
"Do you know how many times you've asked me that tonight?" she giggled, her palms soothing as

they ran up and down my back.
I grinned against her skin. Only with her did I ever feel this lightness, this happiness. Underneath it

all, she was always my Bella and I would always be her Edward. She sighed as I kissed her neck
again, still chaste, just because I could. She was here now and I just could.
"I love you, boy."
I squeezed her as tight as I could. "I don't know if I can let you go tonight. I want to keep you.

Forever."
She turned her head and rubbed her cheek against mine. "You have me. Forever.
"But if I don't go home sometime, my dad will come after you."
The smile was clear in her voice, but the threat was very real as far as I was concerned. If Chief Swan
knew I had just deflowered his daughter, he'd probably have me publicly executed. Making no move

to get off of her, I nipped at her shoulder.
"Well, that settles that. We'll just have to run away together."
She laughed, shoving me with her shoulder. "I do really have to get home sometime tonight,
Edward."
"I know," I sighed, rolling off of her. Lying on my side, she rolled onto hers to face me.
"I have so much I need to tell you," she smiled, but her eyes darkened slightly.
"And I need to hear it," I nodded. "Only I don't know if you've ever noticed this about me, but I'm a
pretty impatient person."
She widened her eyes innocently, shaking her head. "Why, no! I never suspected this of you!"
"It's true," I affirmed gravely. "So it sounds like I have a date with the tree of doom tonight."
Her lips twitched, the joke forgotten. Tonelessly, she asked, "Tree of doom?"
I arched my eyebrow at her. "You climb it and see if you still laugh."
She smiled, reaching up to rub the two days' worth of scruff on my face. "I never made my wish

tonight. I could hope you don't fall."
"That would be much appreciated, kitten. If you could throw in something about me not getting

shot, that would be great too."
She closed her eyes, grinning cheekily.
"Please don't let Edward be shot, stabbed, maimed, or injured in any way tonight when he attempts to
conquer the tree of doom."
God, I love that girl.

Just for a minute
The silver forked sky
Lit you up like a star
That I will follow

~*~

Chapter Thirteen

It had taken us a while to clean up, a twenty-minute lukewarm shower where I couldn't stop kissing
her and then thirty minutes of her in my sweats sitting on my lap while her clothes dried. We

silently agreed to not discuss anything until back at her house, simply because I didn't want to have
to stop without hearing the whole story. Luckily, she didn't have a curfew at Charlie's, but judging

by the evil eye he gave me when I dropped her off that night, she'd probably be getting one in the
near future. I left her a little before midnight with a promise to return in an hour.
As I changed the sheets in my bed, I tried to absorb the shock so I could think properly. Maybe,
because she had known she was moving here and therefore had more time to adjust to the idea, she

just wasn't in the same place as me mentally. Because while she had been totally relaxed when she
was in my arms earlier, I was still trying to force my brain to believe and accept that tonight was

real.
It had to be a recent development. Bella was the worst liar on the planet and if she had known about

this for awhile, she'd never have been able to keep it in. And I knew she wouldn't want to. For all I

tried to keep my melancholy from affecting her, my girl was pretty intuitive most of the time. She
knew how much I missed her and worried about her.
But I'd just talked to her two days ago. Two days ago she was packing for the same visit as always.
What the hell could have happened in two days to make her suddenly up and move to Forks

permanently? My overactive imagination could go haywire trying to figure it out, but I couldn't let
myself get worked up. I needed my wits about me if I was going to channel my inner spy and survive

Mission: Impossible for the third time.
James Bond never had to sneak past the Chief.
.
An hour later, my car was parked around the corner from Bella's house, a safe enough distance

away to be undetected by the Chief, but close enough for me to hopefully run to in case of an
emergency. Like, him breaking down Bella's bedroom door with a double-barrel rifle and catching

me in her bed in the middle of the night. I was pretty sure I'd figured out the key to surviving should
that come to pass. Jumping out the window and then running in a zigzag pattern should prevent him

from getting a clear shot.
As I walked quietly up to her house, I still couldn't believe this was real. The whole day, really. From
her finding me at the tree, telling me she was here to stay, to us together at my house…We had sex.

No, that sounded…impersonal. I made love to Bella. This morning, I was a moping mess and tonight I
was about to crawl into my girlfriend's window the happiest guy alive. Distractedly, I wondered if

Jazz and Alice had sex. Ugh. With as much as they mauled each other's mouths, I wouldn't be
surprised.

Would we be like that, now that we had the chance? A stupid grin spread on my face as I realized I

would get to hold her hand between classes, maybe even make out with her against her locker
before school. As I grabbed the first branch to hoist myself up, I imagined what it would be like to

see her every day. For as well as I knew her, inside and out, I'd only actually gotten to be in her
presence for about a dozen days in my life. As the branches rustled while I moved up through the

tree, she appeared in her window, smiling and looking so happy.
"Hi," she whispered.
I grinned at her as I reached the branch level with her window, waiting for her to step aside so I
could climb through. As soon as I was inside, she wrapped her arms around my waist and I hugged

her back tightly. We were so used to needing to get as much affection in as possible that it would
take some getting used to, to not always need to be touching when we could.
"This still doesn't feel real," I said softly. "Try not to kill me if I'm a little clingy for awhile."
She looked up and rested her chin on my chest. "I think I'll be able to handle it."
Kissing her once, I unwrapped myself from around her and pulled her to the bed.
"It's killing me. You've got to tell me. You know how my brain works. I'm thinking abandonment,

somebody died, somebody hurt you…"
"Stop it," she smiled, pushing me gently to get me to lie down. She crawled in beside me and
propped herself up with her elbow to face me on her side. I mirrored her position and waited.
"Okay," she sighed. "So I was packing for my visit when she and Phil came home from dinner and
asked to talk to me downstairs. So I go down there and the first thing I see is this giant freaking ring

on her left hand. Phil proposed at dinner and I was really happy for her, you know? And I totally
zoned out while she was talking about it, because all I could think was, now she's got somebody to

take care of her. I can go to college wherever and I don't have to worry about her anymore. I was on,
like, cloud nine just thinking about it," she grinned, but then it slowly fell.
"But then when I started paying attention again to what she was saying, she was talking about how
great the Florida sunshine is, and I was like, huh? And it turns out that Phil got signed to the majors,

to some team in Florida and she said we were moving again! Moving, as in, I wouldn't be flying from
Forks to Phoenix, but Forks to Florida. And it's just…she didn't ask me how I felt about moving, or

Phil being my stepdad…She's never even asked me if I liked him, which I do, but that's not the point,
you know? And she was ready to uproot me again and take me across the country right before my

last year of high school, without even asking me how I felt about it. I've always thought she cares,

but just in her own way, you know, not in a normal way, but that she still does."
Her voice was thick and her eyes were getting glassy, so I reached down to grab her hand and

intertwine my fingers with hers. She smiled weakly, squeezing back in thanks.
"But then I wasn't so sure anymore. Because this whole time she's just rambling on and on about

how great it is there and how much I'll love it, and how cool it'll be for us to go to the beach together
when she's in town. And all I could think was, if I have to move, there's only one place I want to go.

But then she goes and says…She tells me that I can finish learning how to surf. And I just lost it. All of
these years I've been trying to do everything I can do to help her and be a good daughter, and she

just…doesn't know me at all. She doesn't know that I'm afraid of the ocean, she doesn't know I've
never once called Phoenix home, she doesn't know me."
She paused, her eyes full of hurt and tears and I felt awful for her. Really, I just felt awful. I'd hoped
for this day to come, when Bella would finally see how selfish Renee was, but I'd never wanted her

to feel pain from the realization. I'd just wanted her to be free, to be able to live her own life, to be

happy.
"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered, wrapping my arms around her and holding her to my chest. She

sniffled, shaking her head. Shifting back a bit after a moment, she looked up at me with such
sadness. "So what happened? Did she give you the choice to come here instead?"
She snorted, rolling her eyes. "Uh…no, not quite. More like, I threw a fit and ran upstairs and locked
myself in my room. I wasn't even thinking and I was just so upset, and before I knew it, my hand was

on the phone in my room and I was calling my dad."
I raised my eyebrows, impressed. "You were always so scared to ask him."
"I know," she smiled sadly. "And now that I have, I feel really stupid for never asking him before."
"Hey. No," I argued softly. "It's not your fault, Bella. You barely saw him and he never even brought it

u -"
"That's just it, though," she interrupted, her voice hard. "He did. Apparently he's called my mom

dozens of times over the years asking for me to come and visit him more. He's even offered to come
see me down in Phoenix. But she lied and told him that I didn't want to have to see him more than I

had to. And as far as I'm concerned, she lied to me by never telling me that he called."
My mouth dropped open in shock, my brain too fried to form words. Tears started to fall from her
eyes, but I knew the look on her face. She was mad. Really mad.
"Why?" I choked out finally.
She shook her head angrily, more tears falling. "I don't know! I mean, I don't know if she really hates

him that much that she just wanted to hurt him, or if she was afraid I'd want to live with him
permanently and she'd lose the child support, or I wouldn't be around to make dinner or what,

but...how could she do that to me?
"I mean, did she not even think about how much it hurt me to think that my dad didn't care about

me? And looking back on it, I feel really stupid, because he always tried when I was here and it
never matched up, you know? He saves all his vacation time every year for our camping trip and

doesn't even take a radio to listen to. It's just him and me for two weeks, no work, no TV. And he
seems so happy when we're out there! But then every year, I go back and I don't hear from him

again until my birthday in September, and I don't know what to make of it all."
"So he never brought it up because he didn't want to upset you and risk losing the little time he had,

and you never brought it up because you thought he didn't want you. Because of her," I finished,

trying to keep my anger from getting the best of me. I was raised to never strike a woman, but I bet I
could sic Alice on Renee fairly easily with pleasant results. For me.
She nodded, breathing heavily. "So I called him and he was…Edward, he was so happy. He was really
mad too, when he found out I had no idea what he was talking about, but oh my God. I think he was

crying. He was so happy."
I smiled, my own eyes stinging. "I think I'm officially Team Charlie. Even though he does have a gun

and will kill me on sight if he finds me in your bed."
She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. I grinned wider, happy to see her not so upset now.

I knew there was more I needed to know, but I didn't want our whole night to be about tears. Even
though it could cost me my life, I started tickling her.
"Can't laugh, kitten. Don't wanna wake up the Chief," I warned lowly, ducking my head under her
chin to bite at her neck, tickling her with my scruff. She jerked back and forth trying to escape, both

of her hands clamped down on her mouth as she tried not to scream. Suddenly, she went on the

offensive, pushing her face into a pillow and trying to tickle me back, so I jerked away. Her head
came up and she attempted to glare at me, but it wasn't nearly as intimidating as she probably

intended it to be.
I held my hands up in surrender before pulling her up so we could sit and face each other. Leaning

over, I kissed her slowly, sweetly. When we broke apart for breath, she smiled at me beautifully.
"So what happened after you talked to Charlie?" I asked softly, sad to see her smile fade away,

knowing I probably wouldn't like what came next.
Running her fingernails up and down my forearm, she exhaled shakily. "I went back downstairs to

tell Renee I was moving to Forks. Lucky for her Phil had already left, because she was just…She tried
to tell me I didn't know what I was saying, told me I was overreacting…When that didn't work, she

tried to make me feel guilty, asking me how I could want to leave the one person that's always been
there for me, for someone who doesn't even call. That was when I told her that I already talked to

my dad and she…she almost turned purple, she was so mad.
"She just started screaming that she wouldn't let me move here, Forks is a dead end, I'll never

amount to anything if I live here…She started ranting and raving about how this was all for that boy,

I was throwing everything away to be with that boy, I was going to end up just like her if I wasn't
smart," she spat, her jaw clenching in anger.
My hands were digging into the quilt beneath me as she relayed it all to me, all the poison Renee had
thrown at her. My body felt coiled to spring, too wound up to stay still any longer. I jumped off the

bed and began pacing back and forth across her room. Raking my hands through my hair, I shook
my head, frustrated.
"How? How could she say that to you?" I hissed, trying to have at least the presence of mind to keep
my voice down. "How could she hurt you this way? How could sh-"
She swung her legs off the bed, walking over to me to stop my pacing. My hands automatically
gripped her waist as she placed her cool palms on either side of my neck, tracing the lines of my jaw

with her thumbs.
"Shh," she hushed me, pulling me down to her. I rested my forehead against hers, taking deep

breaths and trying to calm down. She was the one this happened to. I needed to be supporting her
right now.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whispered, lowering to capture her lips, again and again between my

apologies. She kissed me back deeply, dragging me slowly back to the bed. When her knees hit, she
sat, breaking away from my mouth. I remained standing, looking down on her as I tucked her hair

behind her ears and stroked her face.
"I'm sorry she said those things to you, Bella."
Her eyes fell from mine as she sighed. "I…I don't know how I feel about it all. I've been taking care of
her my whole life and I probably would have kept on doing just that for who knows how long, but

last night…Last night she showed me that I'm not a daughter to her. The second I wouldn't do what
she wanted, she was done with me. She wouldn't even drive me to the airport; I had to call a cab.
"I'm just this mistake that happened to her a long time ago that she's been trying to live a life in
spite of. I'm like an accessory, or a pet, that's able to keep itself fed and the house intact so she can

do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. I was just something that would always be there when
things fall apart to pick up the pieces."
"You can't believe anything she said, Bella. You're none of those things-"

"I know," she nodded, smiling. "Because of you, I know."
"Me?" I echoed in disbelief.
"Of course," she answered, her eyes sincere. "My whole life, you've been my only constant. You've

always believed in me, always thought I was worth so much more than I felt. And you've backed it
up by showing me how much I'm worth to you. When you stop your day to write me a letter, when

you got a job just so you could talk to me, when you tell me you think I'm pretty-"
"Beautiful," I interrupted, to which she rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"What I'm trying to say," she started again, warning me with her eyes and a smile. "Is that the one
person I can always count on has always been you. I trust you more than I trust anyone. And after

ten years of hearing you build me up, there's nothing she could have said to me that would bring me
down.
"I love you, boy."
"My girl," I whispered, leaning down to kiss her slowly. She broke away to scoot up the bed and I

followed, crawling up her body until I was hovering above her. I kissed her deeply, tasting her
tongue until I couldn't breathe, only to move down her jaw and neck. With her chest pressed against

mine, I could feel her heart beat in time to mine. Her hands crept underneath my shirt, her

fingernails raking back down and almost making me groan. Loudly. Pulling back and breathing
heavily, I shook my head remorsefully.
"Bella. We have to stop."
Her eyes opened, unfocused. I kissed her once more gently, hoping she didn't fight me on this. It

wouldn't take much to break me as I could still vividly remember how good it felt to be inside her.
God, thinking about it was not going to help.
"I know," she sighed. Oh, thank God.
"It's not that I don't want to," I began. This wasn't a rejection. This was an integral part of Mission:

Impossible. No sex while the Chief was home.
"I know," she smiled, then blushed. "I, um…I'm kind of sore anyway."
"I'm sorry," I grimaced, hating the idea of causing her pain. "Is there anything I can do?"
"What? Like a massage?" she snickered, muffling it with her hand. I dropped my forehead to her

shoulder in embarrassment, chuckling.
"If you want," I joked, kissing her shoulder once before raising my head up again. "I just hate that I

hurt you. And I didn't last very long. I didn't make you…"
She smiled softly, shaking her head. "I don't really think girls do the first time. I did before, if it
makes you feel any better. But it was everything I wanted it to be. I loved it…And I don't think it's

supposed to hurt as much the next time…"
"Next time, huh?" I smiled, arching my eyebrow. Watching her carefully, I wanted to know. "What

made you decide you wanted a first time?"
She blushed and tried to look away, but I held her chin in my thumb and forefinger.
"Bella," I prodded gently. "If we can't talk about it, we shouldn't be doing it."
"Well, you're putting me on the spot!" she responded hotly, her cheeks on fire. Her eyes blazing, she

arched her eyebrow.

"I couldn't think of anything else to give you for your birthday."
"Are you serious?" I choked, unsure whether I should be horrified or build her a shrine. Her lips
twitched, giving her away and she shook her head. I raised my eyebrows, waiting.
Sighing, she gave up. "I told you why already. I went a whole year without seeing you in person,
hugging you, kissing you…I wanted to feel you, all of you. We always said we wanted to do it when

we wouldn't have to say goodbye and I'm here now. To stay. I love you and I wanted to make love
with you."
"There. Was that so hard?" I smirked, releasing her chin to drop a kiss on her lips. "For the record, I
love you and I wanted it too. Obviously."
She giggled, watching me shyly. "Was it okay?"
"No, kitten. It was perfect."
I held her in her small, squeaky bed for the rest of the night, talking about the upcoming school year
together, taking several important breaks for kissing, but never getting too carried away. Mostly.
"What time does Charlie get up?" I whispered, my voice hoarse from lack of sleep.
"Mmm…He's off, so seven," she rasped, barely awake.
"I have to go soon then," I told her. Pointing out her window, I smiled. "The sun's about to come up."
It was still dark out, but in the distance I could see the edges of the clouds beginning to turn pink
and orange as they slowly spread throughout the sky. With her draped across my chest, we watched

silently as it steadily grew brighter and brighter, only a sliver of hot yellow visible over the trees.
"Make a wish," she whispered, looking up at me with her chin on my chest.
I smiled, shaking my head. "I thought it didn't work on sunrises."
She shrugged, her own smile forming. "Maybe. Maybe not. What have we got to lose?"
My arm around her shoulders, I brought her up to me for a quick kiss. The sun finally broke free
above the tree line, blinding bright white light before it was softened by the clouds all around it.
Please…
Nope. I've already got everything.
Just…Thanks.
"I love you, girl."

Every now and then
The trend bucks
And you're repaired
By more than glue

~*~

Chapter Fourteen

That summer was a whole new world to me. Much to my disdain, Charlie had still wanted to take

Bella on their annual camping trip, so I had to let her go only a day after getting her back. I knew
Bella would miss me and I understood her reasoning for wanting to go with him; he had missed out

on so much time with her, he was so excited that she came to live there, blah, blah…Still didn't mean
I was happy about it. I didn't feel like it was completely real yet. What if she came back and said she

missed her mom too much? What if Renee and Phil broke up and Renee showed up in Forks? What
if…what if…what if…It only took one bitch-out with Alice to snap out of it.
"Really, Edward?" she snapped, bringing me out of my daydream. I'd forgotten they were even here.
"Really, what? I'm sorry, what'd you say?" I asked simply, confused.
"You go a whole year at a time without seeing her for an entire fucking decade and now you can't

even live without her for two weeks?"
"What the fuck are you talking about, Alice?" I snapped, irritated with her tone. She made it sound

like that had been easy.
"What I mean is, is she's going to be back in a week and a half, which means she's only been gone for

three days, and you're acting like she died! Snap out of it! God! It's like you're moping just to mope,"
she huffed, fixing her ridiculous beret on top of her head. French Impressionist this year. Little

freak.
"I was just thinking," I argued weakly.
She rolled her eyes as Jasper made himself scarce. He never got in the middle of one our rows.
"You plus thinking always equals brooding, which never leads to good things. It leads to you being a

sulking bastard, and if you don't shape up, I'm gonna tell on you when Bella gets back. She wouldn't
want you being like this.
"Are you gonna come with us to Port Angeles or not?"
"Huh?" I asked, not following.
"That's what I was trying to ask you when you were off in la-la land. Whatever's got your panties in a

bunch, just relax and talk to her when she gets back. So are you coming?"
"What are we gonna do?" I asked, smiling as she ran to my closet to throw some shoes at me.
"Pizza. Movie. Art supplies. Bookstore if you want, so you can get something for Bella."
I grimaced as one of the boots nailed me in the shoulder. "Yeah, okay."
"And no brooding!" she shouted behind her as she ran downstairs to find Jasper.
"Who, me?" I called out innocently as she pounded through the house like an elephant.
But I kept my word and did my best not to brood, or sulk, or pine, or mope, as Alice clarified on the
drive up to Port Angeles. Missing her was fine, but being a bastard wasn't. She always had such a

way with words. And I did my best to not let my thoughts run away from me.
When Bella got back, I took her out for our second date at a restaurant in Port Angeles and confided

in her my deepest, darkest fear, because it just wouldn't stop gnawing at me. And I did it not entirely
eloquently.
As soon as we were seated, I blurted out. "I'm scared you'll leave if Renee shows up needing help."

She jumped slightly at my sudden outburst, looking around self-consciously to see if we'd, I'd,

attracted attention. Clearing her throat, her answer made my heart plummet.
"What kind of help?"
Not what I wanted to hear, Bella.
"Does it matter?"
That was probably a little harsh. She narrowed her eyes slightly and took a deep breath.
"Well, yeah. If she showed up drunk or something, I'd probably have to call the cops. If she showed

up crying over her inevitable breakup with Phil, I'd probably have to sneak out the backdoor to run
to your house. If she showed up dying of cancer, I'd probably have to do the right thing and call an

ambulance or something."
That was definitely a little harsh. And awesome.
"Really?" I gaped incredulously.
Her shoulders fell as her fingers ripped her straw wrapper to shreds.
"Look, I know that sounds mean, and I'm not a mean person, but…all I've ever done for her is give,
and all she's ever done is take. She took me from Forks, the only place that's ever been home, she

cost me ten years with my dad by lying, she kept me from you when you were my only friend, she

stole my childhood, leaving me to take care of…everything, and I just don't have anything left of me
to give her. Right now it's too raw to say, but I don't know if she and I will ever be able to fix this.

Because even if she apologized for every single thing she's ever done, she can't ever change it and
give me those years back. And I don't trust her as far as I can throw her, so even if she wasn't just

apologizing to get something out of me, I'd never believe it anyway.
"While me and my dad were gone, we talked a lot about it. He tried, Edward. He tried so hard to be a

part of my life. And it killed me to think he didn't want me back then. Renee knew that. I don't think
I can forgive that and I'll never forget it.
"Do you really think I'd just up and leave?" she finished quietly, her voice full of hurt and her eyes
downcast. "Or is this just you thinking too much?"
Standing up from my seat across from her, I slid beside her in the booth. I picked up her hand and
placed my other on her cheek to turn her face toward me.
"Definitely the second one. I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered, leaning in to kiss her softly. As always
when we were kissing, we totally forgot our surroundings and the kiss deepened naturally, until we

were interrupted by the waitress arriving to take our drink order, and I laughed at Bella's blush for

being caught making out in a restaurant. "Don't let me ruin our date, okay? I love you, I trust you,
and I'm so, so proud of you."
Resting her chin on my shoulder, she looked up at me with wicked eyes. "Fine, you're forgiven. But
you're buying me dessert. Maybe two. Something with lots of chocolate and maybe some ice

cream…"
Best. Girlfriend. Ever.
The rest of the summer after that talk was a lot smoother. When I wasn't worrying about
everything, things just sort of clicked into place all on their own. She spent the days with Alice,

Jasper, and me, sometimes one on one, sometimes just the girls, sometimes all of us together. The
one day that was guaranteed to be only Bella and me was Charlie's first day off. He took Saturdays

for himself, to go fish with his friends at a nearby lake, and then watch college ball at a friend's

house, not returning until late at night. His second day off, Sunday, was just for him and Bella, but I

didn't care. Saturdays were all mine.
And we spent them naked.
My mom thought it was so incredibly sweet that I woke up so early to see her on a weekend.
Somehow, I seriously doubted she would find it sweet if she knew I was working my way through

the Things I Want To Do To Bella's Body list, one Saturday at a time. My dad seemed to have a slightly
better idea of what was going on, because mysterious boxes of Trojans kept magically appearing in

my nightstand.
Six a.m.
"Hey. He just left."
"Give me five minutes."
Still aware enough to park around the corner in case Charlie ever forgot something or came home
early, I opened the door with the spare key she'd made that was hidden under a loose board on the

porch and let myself in, taking the stairs up to her room two at a time. She was adorable, still lying
in bed and trying to wake up. She gave me a lazy smile and opened her arms, and I kicked off my

shoes to crawl into bed beside her. Pulling her close, I kissed her immediately and smiled against

her lips as I tasted the mint of her toothpaste. She was always so weird about morning breath.
"Mm," she hummed. "I missed you."
"Just since yesterday?" I teased, kissing her fake pout away. "I did, too."
"One more kiss," she smiled. I grinned, rolling over her to kiss her. As the kiss grew more heated,

more urgent, the playful mood evaporated and left us desperate for each other. With practiced
precision, she undid the fly of my jeans and pushed them down as I reached behind my neck to pull

off my t-shirt. Saturdays were the one day of the week I bothered with contacts, because it only took
us one day of my own half-blind fumbling to figure out that I needed to be able to see if I wanted to

work my way through The List properly. When I was left in nothing but my boxers, I moved to even
out our situation.
"This has to go," I mumbled into the skin of her stomach as I pushed her tank top up. When my
hands reached her breasts, I kept them there, leaving her to take it off the rest of the way. As I

kissed all over her soft flesh, I rolled and tweaked the peaks of her breasts in the way I'd learned
she liked.
Item number two on The List, after the clitoris. That had been a fun day.
One of these days, I was determined to try and make her orgasm just by fondling her, but as of right
now, I could never stay patient long enough. Watching her arch into my hands, her breathing quick,

her skin hot to my touch but covered in goose bumps, it all made me so incredibly hard for her I
thought I'd tear straight through my boxers. As it was, I was grinding with little control against her

soaked panties, already closer to coming than was acceptable.
"Edward," she gasped out, pushing desperately at the elastic of my boxers. I took the hint and slid

my hands down her body to remove the last of both of our clothing. I was inside her a second later,
my eyes rolling back into my head as her warmth and tightness engulfed me, setting my body on

fire. Staying in this position wasn't an option; I was two thrusts away from losing it, I could tell.
Leaning back on my haunches, I lifted her up and twisted us so I was sitting on the edge of the bed,

with her in my lap and me miraculously still inside her.

With her knees astride my body, she began to move up and down, gasping into my mouth with every

stroke down. It created a whole new level of depth that left me gasping back into her mouth, my
hands tight on her hips as I helped guide her above me. Her arms were around my neck, her hands

twisting in my hair, the pleasurable pain giving me enough distraction to last just a little while
longer.
I could feel her starting to tighten around me, the telltale signs of her orgasm coming. The flush
across her chest, the scrunch of her eyes shut tight, her lips slightly parted, the tilt of her head back,

all of it meant she was close. I leaned in and kissed her neck and chest with rough, openmouthed,
biting kisses, intermittent with sweeps of my tongue to soothe the sting. Keeping one hand firm on

her back as she continued to slide up and down, I slid my other down to her center and found her
clit immediately. I rubbed in small circles gently, even as both of our thrusts came harder and

faster. The pulsing pleasure where we were joined began to pound, until I was unable to think of
nothing but lasting just one second longer, needing to feel her stiffen in my arms.
And then she did, an unintelligible cry escaping her lips as she froze, letting me manipulate her
body up and down twice more before I too came, capturing her lips with mine. She swallowed my

groan as I collapsed back on the bed, holding my arms around her tightly to keep her close.
"That," I panted, "is new favorite position number two."
"Really?" she asked, still slightly out of breath herself. "It knocks out from behind?"
"I'm afraid so," I smiled lazily. "I like to see your face when you come."
I could feel her blush on my chest as I said the words, making me grin wider. Pulling her up, I buried

my face in her hair and whispered in her ear.
"But nothing's better than me over you, making you scream."
She moaned in response, turning her head to kiss me aggressively as my dick slowly came back to
life. All hail teenage hormones.
Every day that summer was better than the last, and I honestly couldn't remember a time in my life
when I'd been happier. Every so often, I'd still leave her a letter, just to tell her how much she meant

to me. She reciprocated in kind when I'd least expect it, just so she could tell me how happy she was
with me in her life. The whole summer just flew by, until we were well into August and about to

start our senior year. She and I took the day for ourselves, disappearing to the tree no one else
knew about, the place that would always be just for us.
"Are you nervous about starting school tomorrow?" I whispered, my eyes closed as I lay on the

ground and she sat above me, tracing small circles on my wrist and hand. If she didn't quit soon, I
was going to fall asleep.
"Yeah," she answered, always honest. "I'm nervous about walking into a school that's smaller than
just my junior class in Phoenix, when they've all known each other since birth. I'm glad we've got

Alice and Jasper, but I just know people are going to stare. I hate that."
I snorted. "Yeah, they're going to stare, alright. The whole school's thought I was gay ever since I ran

away from Lauren trying to stick her tongue down my throat. And tomorrow I'm going to pull into
the parking lot with you by my side and stick my tongue down your throat."
"Edward!" she laughed, smacking me in the chest. "You better not. I'm not trying to give people
reasons to stare."
Behind closed lids, I rolled my eyes. "Bella. You're the first new kid since Alice came in ninth grade.
Before that, it was Jasper in seventh. And nobody since. They're going to stare...

"Besides," I shrugged. "I need to stake my claim early. Ward off any potential admirers."
Now it was her turn to snort. "Yes, Edward, I can only imagine. I'll walk into school tomorrow and
boys will be at every turn offering to carry my books and 'help me study.'"
Frowning, I opened my eyes and propped up on my elbows. "That's exactly what I think will happen.
You're the most beautiful girl in the world-"
"You're the only one who thinks so, Edward," she interrupted, shaking her head.
Growling playfully, I tackled her to the ground, hovering above her. "Don't." Kiss. "Interrupt." Kiss.

"Me." Kiss.
Smirking, she zipped her lips and batted her lashes at me innocently. Rolling my eyes at her, I

continued.
"You are the most beautiful girl in the world. Just because the boys at your old schools were too

intimidated by that fact and your genius doesn't mean the guys here will be. The dating pool here is
incredibly shallow. They're going to be all over you."

"I thought we were supposed to be helping me lose my nerves," she pointed out.
"Well, what about my nerves? Now, all I can picture is every boy in school sniffing after the fresh

meat," I frowned thoughtfully.
"Too bad for them I'm already taken, then," she smiled, arching her eyebrow.

"That you are," I grinned, leaning down to kiss her again. "But at least you're at an advantage.

You've been hearing about all of them for ten years."
"I'll know who to stay away from?" she interrupted again, finishing my thought. I nodded and she

smiled indulgently. "Lauren and Jessica, gossiping queens and semi-stalkers."
"Exactly. Even if you're being generous with the 'semi' intro. Never listen to a word they say. They'll

alternate between cutting you down to your face or behind your back. And if you see them within a
five-foot radius of me, save me. Please."
"Right," she nodded. "Mike, Tyler, and Eric, 'kings' of school. Super popular and obviously who I
should be spending all my time with."
"Ri-Hey!" I laughed, squeezing her sides in punishment. "Minor correction. Mike, Tyler, and Eric,
'kings' of school. Super popular and obviously who you should stay far, far away from unless you

want me to get suspended for fighting."

"You better not!" she gasped. Shaking her head at me in admonishment, she smiled. "You know I'm

yours, Edward. I have been for ten years."
"Well, I know that and you know that, but they don't," I pouted. But in a manly way.
"I don't care about them," she said softly. "And you shouldn't either. The game plan is: no talking to
catty girls or flirty boys. I'm going to be valedictorian. I think I can keep up with that."

"I have no doubt that you can keep up with that. But don't think that just because you're my girl I'm

going to let you steal my valedictorian spot. Salutatorian is an honorable second place and you'll
still get into any school you want with that," I joked.
"Oh, Dickward, how I have missed you!" she mocked. "It's always nice when you come out to play."

"Not bein' a dick, kitten, just tellin' ya how it is," I smirked, barely jumping away in time before her

hands started swinging. I backed up against our tree and she advanced, stopping as her eyes
focused on something to the left of me. Following her line of vision, I smiled as I saw the carved

heart, our initials still inside.
Smiling softly at her, I pulled her into my lap and she snuggled into my chest. Speaking lowly into

her hair, I held her close to me. "We're going to be fine. We survived ten years apart. I'm positive we
can survive senior year at Forks High. I'm just glad you're finally back to stay, even if we are just

going to leave again in a year. At least this time I get to take you with me."

"Get to? You're stuck with me until I say otherwise," she murmured, the smile audible in her voice.
"Well then, I'm just going to have to banish the word otherwise from your vocabulary...And I know

that's cheesy, even for me," I grinned, pecking the top of her hair. She lifted her head, noticing the
neon clouds spreading across the sky, blocking the slowly disappearing sun from view.
"I've already got you, friends, and everything else we need. What can I wish for?" she mused aloud,
more to herself than me.
"I'm wishing for you to go with me to prom," I said nonchalantly.
"Hmph. Well, now you're really not getting it, because you told me," she sniffed. I rolled my eyes,
tucking her in closer to me.
"We'll see."
I was serious.
Please help me convince Bella to let me take her to prom. I just want one dance.
She should have known she couldn't mess with the power of the wish.

We both laugh out loud
And surrender to it
The sheer force of sky
And the cold magnet Earth

~*~

Chapter Fifteen

Senior year was…a little bit of everything. The truth was, I was more nervous about our first day

than I let on to Bella, because I knew we'd been in a bubble over the summer. It was easy to say we
wouldn't let anything come between us, but an entirely other thing to make it happen. Rumors in a

small town could be painful and hard to ignore; bored teenagers could be vicious and cruel. I didn't
want Bella to doubt my faith in her, so I tried to shake the feelings off myself, but I could never be

anything but honest with her.
"I'm so nervous."
"Not any more than me," I laughed shakily, pulling into the parking lot. Her head whipped around,

her eyes curious.

"You're not seriously worried about me getting swept off my feet by the likes of Mike Newton," she

said incredulously.
I shook my head, laughing easier now as I parked. "Honestly, Bella, you'll probably barely see him. I

don't know that he can even spell the word 'honor,' let alone be in an advanced class."
"And you'll be in all my classes anyway, right? Except for P.E.," she grumbled, glaring at the building

in the distance. "It's such bullshit that those classes didn't transfer."
I smiled weakly, reaching over for her hand. She turned back around and looked me in the eye,

trying to understand. "That's the thing, though. Every class. What if you get sick of me?"
"What if you get sick of me?" she shot back immediately.
My eyes and mouth opened wide in shock and I started to argue, but then I caught her smirk and
raised eyebrows.
"Point taken," I coughed, nodding to her. She smiled and leaned over the console, reaching over to
rub my cheek with the heel of her hand.
"I always like this right after you shave, because it's so soft and smooth," she murmured, transfixed
on her hand. "But then I like it when it's all scruffy, because you look like the tortured musical

genius I love so much, too."
A laugh escaped my lips and her eyes finally met mine.
"I know you can't just turn off worrying about me like a light switch, because old habits die hard and

you've been doing this for ten years. And a huge part of that is my fault. I should have come here
years ago, but I didn't, and I'm sorry I made you worry so much for me. But I'm here now, and I'm

never choosing anyone over you again."
I exhaled shakily, oblivious to everything else in the world around me except for the girl in front of

my eyes. "Heavy talk for the first day of school, huh?"
"I know!" she exclaimed, punching me in the shoulder. "So lighten up, my old tortured soul. Tell me

who all these people are that are staring at me."
Smirking, I looked around the lot. "Okay," I pointed out, swallowing my nerves. "Over there by that

red Honda. Those two girls glaring daggers at you? The blonde is Lauren, the brunette is Jessica. I
hope you get partnered with at least one of them in P.E. and injure them in a way where they're

unable to speak. It would be a service to the entire school."
She giggled nervously, waving sarcastically at the two girls, who quickly looked away.
"Alright," I continued, spotting Mike and his crew over by Tyler's van. "Mr. All-American there is

Mike. The Asian guy is Eric, the black guy is Tyler. They haven't spotted us yet, but I am seriously
considering mauling you in front of them when we walk past."
"Are you really that much of a caveman that you need to stake your claim on me, Edward?" she
asked tonelessly, her eyebrow arched.
"Yes," I replied, with no hesitation.
She huffed, but I saw the corners of her lips turn up. "Okay. Let's say, hypothetically, that I let you

piss on my leg in front of them. Do you really think that this will discourage them from trying to talk
to me?"

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline, shocked we were seriously discussing this. "Uh…honestly, I

don't know. I'm not gonna lie, Bella, they're about as smart as a bag of rocks. But a man can only
hope."
She chewed on her lip while she thought it over, right as Mike and his crew took notice of her and
did a visible double take at her sitting in my car. They were nudging each other with their elbows

and staring straight at her, alternating between blatantly checking her out and sending sneers in
my direction. Bella's eyes narrowed to slits and before I could say a word, she spoke.
"Let's go."
Obediently, I got out of the car and walked around to open her door, helping her out quickly. She

kept a tight hold of my hand as we started to walk toward the building, on a path that would take us
directly in front of both the stalkers and the jocks. I wasn't a hundred-percent sure what Bella's

plan was. She didn't say 'yes' or 'no,' she said 'let's go.' And the closer we got to them, the more I
realized that the mature thing to do would be to simply walk past them, ignore them, and go about

our day.
But then Bella abruptly stopped in front of Tyler's van, turned around and totally eye-fucked me.
Licking her lips, she stepped a little closer to me and spoke in a breathy voice, but loud enough to

carry over to the rapt audience only a few feet away. "Last night was so amazing."
She draped her arms on my shoulders and licked her lips again, still looking at me like she was

really wanting a replay of 'last night.' Only we weren't together last night, and she was totally letting
me piss on her leg right now, metaphorically speaking, of course. We weren't really into kinky stuff.

But if there had ever been a time when I might consider exhibitionism, it would totally be now.
"I love you," I said, my voice so low I almost didn't recognize it. Pulling her to me by the waist, I

leaned down and kissed her thoroughly, my tongue mimicking what I wanted to be doing to her
right now. We were so skipping lunch. When we finally broke apart, she lovingly took off my foggy

glasses, cleaning them with the bottom hem of her t-shirt before placing them back on my face, a
small smile playing on her lips.
That small gesture, just that simple, small thing, brought me back to the place where it was just her
and me. To everybody else, we might look mismatched, we might look overly infatuated and sure to

burn out, but we knew what we really were.
Bella's Edward and Edward's Bella.
Of course it wasn't quite as easy as all that. Mike and Tyler both still tried to ask her out, taking

advantage of the week I had a bad cold and missed school. When Bella brought over some soup and
cough syrup after school that day, she recalled it all to me with a bland tone and a heavy dosage of

eye-roll. And then we laughed about it together.
Lauren worked overtime to spread rumors about Bella and me, ranging from her being pregnant

and not knowing the father, therefore roping me into the responsibility of raising the child, to her
using me for help with homework, to me paying her off so she would pretend to be my girlfriend

because I was really gay. That one really never got old, apparently.
The only reason I knew about any of them was because Alice stayed on top of all of it, shutting

gossipers down immediately and then relaying the latest soap opera plotline to me, as the kids in
our honors' classes didn't really follow the buzz of the rumor mill. I didn't really care; I was used to

it. As long as Bella wasn't upset by it all, it just didn't matter. And all she ever did was laugh at
particularly outrageous ones and shrug off the rest. Though from what I heard, she didn't try very

hard to curb her clumsiness in P.E. when she was paired up with Lauren or Jessica.

With September came her seventeenth birthday which was bittersweet, because it was the first

she'd spent with Charlie since she was a little girl and the first I'd ever gotten to spend with her.
Charlie took the four of us to Seattle for the day to sightsee, visiting Pike's Place, the pier, and then

the Space Needle for dinner.
The one shadow on the day was that Renee never called.
Classes were tough, but at the end of September, we got our early acceptance admission letters to
Stanford. I ran over to Bella's house with mine in hand and grabbed hers from the mailbox on my

way in, ecstatic when I saw her envelope matched the size and weight of mine. Bella was jumping up
and down screaming so loud that her dad came running into the kitchen with his gun cocked, until I

explained I didn't try to kill her, she just got into college. Three times in my life have I seen Chief
Swan smile, and that was the biggest grin of them all.
I almost fainted when Bella started talking about the two of us living together in California, right in
front of her dad.
But then he had shocked me, by simply giving me a rueful smile and a shake of his head, explaining
he had expected as much. I still got the hurt-my-daughter-and-die speech a few days later when I

came to pick up Bella for a date, but I happened to know for a fact that the rifle wasn't loaded. Bella

hid the bullets. I still broke out into a little bit of a sweat, but at least I didn't piss myself.
From then on out, class work was just a semi-serious competition between Bella, Jasper and I for

valedictorian, even though we were all sort of expecting Ben Cheney to win out in the end. I no
longer agonized over an uncertain future and, unlike a lot of my fellow students, I didn't agonize

over my very certain future, either. Academically speaking, senior year sort of coasted.
Relationship-wise, it was a process as we learned our way around each other, with each other. It

was a learning and teaching experience for both of us; of give-and-take, of communication versus
internalization, of me remembering the chocolate the second week of every month. We had to make

time for homework, Alice and Jasper, our parents, each other and ourselves. We figured out that we
needed to do our English homework separately, because I thought it was boring and would annoy

her to death, while we worked better on our math together, checking each other's as we went. We
learned that a little bit of absence from each other did indeed make the heart grow fonder, but we

only needed maybe a day away from each other every so often, definitely not a year.
The fall months passed, turning into a white winter. At the ripe age of seventeen, Bella had her first

snowball fight. She and I still had our Saturdays; she and Charlie still had their Sundays. The months

passed slowly and too quickly, all at the same time. I didn't rush between classes with my head
pointed down anymore; I held Bella's hand as we walked together slowly. I didn't brood through

lunch while Alice and Jasper held each other and talked; the bell rang too quickly now before I had
time enough to hold Bella. Winter gave way to spring, and there were days when I thought if I had to

hear her clack her pen between her teeth one more time I would scream, there were days when I
thought hearing that stupid fucking pen between her teeth was the cutest thing on earth.
The end of the year was coming and with it, prom. I'd never really thought the wish would be
enough, but I'd never imagined Charlie would end up being the one to convince her to go. It

shouldn't really have come as such a shock, given the Daddy's girl Bella had become. Living together
had been a huge adjustment for both of them, but it had happened almost seamlessly, given their

similarities in personality. When he came home from work in the evenings, there was always a
special light in his eye if he saw Bella smiling or laughing, and Bella had a special smile that was just

for the Chief.
And that was why it only took one offhanded remark by him about how much he'd love to get to see

her all dressed up before she caved. Go Team Charlie.

Jasper and I donned matching black tuxes and picked the girls up from Bella's house, where both of

them were waiting for us. Alice was…as Alice as ever, wearing a dress made entirely of bottle-caps.
Jasper held her arm in his with pride. Bella smiled at me shyly from in front of the fireplace where

Charlie was waiting to take pictures. Her shoes were flat and sparkly, her hair was down and curly,
her face was untouched and flawless, her dress was simple and blue.
She was painfully beautiful to me.
"I don't know how to dance," she whispered as we walked into the gym.
"You mentioned this already. Several times," I whispered back, taking in the ridiculous disco ball
and Coach Clapp's polyester jumpsuit. She smacked my chest and glared at me while I rubbed the

spot in mock pain. "You're very abusive, you know."
"You're very annoying, you know," she muttered, narrowing her eyes on the drama kids swinging

and twirling each other around the makeshift dance floor. Of course she would only focus on the
half-dozen people actually dancing, and completely miss the majority of students just swaying back

and forth. "That is…do not…I am not doing that. I don't want to break my leg. Please don't let me fall,
Edward."
I snickered, wrapping my arm around her waist. "I could say something really cheesy right now

about never letting you fall, but I won't, 'cause I don't want to get hit again."
I felt her hand twitch between us. Smiling, I placed myself in front of her and took her hands in

mine, slowly walking backward towards the dance floor. She followed hesitantly, her eyes flitting all
around the room.
"Hey," I said, just loud enough for her to hear over the music. Her eyes focused on mine, ignoring the
stares of several people around us. "Gimme one dance. One smile. It's all I'm asking."
She bit her lip to hide her smile and looked down, but I still saw it. She remembered.
"One dance. No smiles. C'mere."
She tugged on my hands and I came, wrapping them around her waist as she wrapped hers around
my neck. Leaning down, I whispered in her ear.
"Kitten. Don't make me use the Claw in front of all these people."
I wiggled my fingers at her waist once to show her I meant business and she looked up at me,

grinning.
"Don't you dare, Edward."
I smiled back at her and continued stepping from foot to foot, with only minor toe damage done by

Bella.
"Coming here tonight…it was just one of those normal teenage things we'll never get to do again. It

was something I wanted, for the both of us. I know you didn't really want to, but…thank you for
giving me this, Bella."
She smiled softly up at me, shaking her head.
"No. I'm glad we came. And if we're going to do it, let's do it all the way, okay?"
I furrowed my brow, confused but intrigued. "What do you mean?"
"You know," she grinned mischievously. "Awkward backseat sex before you take me home. Spin me

around if you want. Dip me, twirl me, but I swear to God, Edward Cullen, if you drop me-"

I grinned widely, twirling her out and away from me before she could finish, spinning her back to

me where she bumped into my chest hard. She tried to scowl while laughing, but didn't quite
succeed. I spun her and dipped her and kissed her until Mrs. Cope tapped my shoulder and shook

her head disapprovingly, making both of us laugh as soon as she walked away. Alice jumped
between us out of nowhere, Jasper following her closely and eyeing her warily.
"Don't touch the punch," he warned, his eyes fixed on Alice. "One of those idiots spiked it. She had
three cups before I figured it out."
My eyebrows shot up my forehead and I glanced over to the refreshment table, where sure enough,
Tyler and Mike were watching the punch bowl with unguarded interest through glassy eyes.

Looking back to Bella, I saw Alice had dragged her to the middle of the dance floor and was twisting
around like she was having a seizure while laughing loudly. Bella was watching her, bemused and

shaking her head, holding onto Alice's hands in what looked like a losing effort to keep her steady
and upright.
"You wanna go get something to drink?" Alice yelled, right in Bella's ear, but loud enough for us to
hear. "The punch is soooo good."
"Uh…no, she doesn't," I muttered, already moving toward them with Jasper on my heels. "You get

yours, I'll get mine. Wanna go to the diner to sober her up?"
He nodded gratefully as we reached them and he wrapped an arm around a tittering Alice. Three

cups of who-knows-what in her ninety-pound body…I really hoped she didn't throw up.
And somehow, she didn't. We spent the next few hours in the diner, still all dressed up, laughing,

eating fries, and drinking coffee. Alice started to crash early, so Jasper took her on home, while Bella
and I did the same, with a small detour and an awkward fumble in the backseat, just like she

promised.
It was a great night.
The last month of school was a blur of end-of-year exams, final projects, and planning for the move
to California. From finding a place to live to figuring out a budget, we realized there was a lot more

to it than either of us could ever have expected. After talking with Jasper, we decided on a two-
bedroom apartment for the three of us. I was given a partial music scholarship and Bella received a

grant that gave us some cushion until we could line up part-time jobs after the move. My parents
and Charlie would send us a little help each month as well, so while we wouldn't be rolling in

money, we would be comfortable enough to not have to live off of Ramen three meals a day.
But most important of all, we would be together.
"I wish we could take this with us," Bella sighed, curling deeper into my side as we lay together on a

blanket underneath the tree. My fingers traced the heart and our initials on the bark as I smiled
wistfully.
"Every time we come back to visit, we'll come here, kitten. I promise," I answered, hugging her
tighter to me. The daylight was fading fast, and Charlie wanted her back as soon as possible to have

one last night with her before we left tomorrow.
"Do you think we'll find a new special place in California?" she asked, tilting her head up to look at

me.
I smiled down at her, stroking her cheek. "We're gonna make all kinds of new places out there. Our

favorite study place, favorite coffee place, favorite I've-got-to-get-away-from-you-right-now-before-
I-kill-you place…"

She burst out laughing, lifting herself up to lay on me with her chin resting above my heart. "I hope

we don't need that place too often."
I shook my head, brushing her hair back out of her face. "We'll always be okay. And not because

we've been together forever and we have to be, not because of a wish…but because I love you. And
I'll always do anything I can to make it okay, if you'll do the same."
Her eyes danced as she shook her head, smiling. "When'd you grow up, boy?"
"Dunno," I shrugged. "But aren't you lucky?"
"Fucking Dickward!" she laughed, smacking me on my arm. Grinning, I caught her wrist and pulled
her up my body until her face was right above mine. She chewed on her lip as she looked down on

me, which meant she was thinking about something.
"What?"
"I'll always try, too. To make us okay, if we're not," she said softly.
Smiling, I nodded.
"I know you will, girl."
I closed my eyes as she dropped down to kiss me, rolling her underneath me as it grew into more.
We made love under our tree, hidden away behind giant roots and hanging branches. Neither of us

saw the sun go down, but we didn't miss it. We were growing up, with a lot more left to go, but what
made this place special couldn't be found in a carving in bark or a chance prayer at dusk. This place

was special because we'd made it so, through our love and mistakes, through both the pain and the
joy of the memories we'd made here. But all of that was in us and we weren't leaving it here. It

would always be with us.
All because eleven years ago, the little girl that became the woman beneath me, made me promise

to remember her.
And I did.
And if I had to do it all over again to get to this point, knowing each and every pain I'd have to go
through to get her, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
Because eleven years ago was when my heart started beating for her anyway.

Painted in flames
All pealing thunder
Be the lightning in me
That strikes relentless
The End…The Beginning

~*~

Chapter Sixteen

Epilogue

I drove down the highway as fast as the roads and weather would allow, but the rain was pounding

something fierce, making my windshield wipers work overtime. A quick glance down at my cell –

still no service.
Not that she was very likely to answer anyway.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
'*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*'
Freshman year – thirteenth grade. Classes weren't easy, per se, just basic. We could work with each
other on a lot of the homework, with the exception of Jasper's physics labs, Bella's creative writing

essays, and my music theory analyses. None of us were completely one-hundred percent sure what
we wanted to be, but we had an idea. She lucked out with a part-time job in the campus library and I

stayed busy with my internship while we both took a full load of classes.
Jasper and Alice traded off weekends on driving to see each other, so every other weekend, I either

got to watch my girlfriend giggle with her best friend on the couch over pizza and Monty Python
marathons, or I got her all to myself.
Life was win – win.
Or at least it was win after one minor nuclear fallout occurred because Jasper and I were 'filthy,

disgusting sloths that have another thing coming if we think she'll be cleaning up after our pig asses

for the next four years.'
The next morning there was a daily chores list on the fridge, and we've been good ever since.
I bought her some flowers anyway.
'*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*'
Twenty minutes out of Forks, the rain was still pouring in buckets, but I finally had a signal.
"Pick up, pick up, pick up," I murmured as the phone rang and rang and rang.
"Hi, you've reached Bella Swan. I'm not available right now, but please leave me a message, unless
you're Edward Cullen. If you're Edward Cullen, please fuck off."
I groaned, ending the call and tossing my cell onto the passenger seat. I understood what she
thought had happened. But she couldn't have been more wrong. She had to listen to me.
After fifteen years, I wasn't going anywhere without a fight.
'*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*'
Sophomore year – the year things got harder, made us work for it. Jasper had to pretty much
disappear into his studies during the week if he wanted to get to spend any time with Alice on the

weekend. I had to attend performances in the area to analyze and write reports on, Bella had to do

the same thing with plays and writing seminars. Between that, work, and our regular classes, I woke
up one day to a cold bed and realized that we hadn't slept together in almost a month.
Getting up and walking through the apartment to the kitchen, I smiled sadly at the plate of muffins
Bella left out for Jasper and I, trying to remember the last time I had done something like that for

her. When did we fall into this rut? How did I bring us out of it?

It didn't look like I was going to Statistics today. I had a new project to work on.
And it was pretty easy to figure out how we fell into this rut after looking over our schedules.
Because it was hard not to, if I didn't make a conscious effort to take advantage of every over-lapse

we could get during the week. By the time Bella made it home that evening, I'd made sure Jasper
would be in his room for the rest of the night, the kitchen was clean, dinner was made, and I just

needed to see what she thought of my ideas.
"Edward?" she asked, her eyes wide as she clicked through the various spreadsheets and other

programs I had used to input our information and discern the most effective timetable.
"Yeah?"
"You…wow, baby. You went to a lot of trouble for this. I…It feels like the year you got a job just to
talk to me. Thank you."
"Do you…does it sound good? I've missed you, kitten."
"I've missed you so much, too. And this sounds great, but…this Powerpoint thing…is that a pie

graph?" she pointed, her bottom lip sucked into her mouth.
"Er…yeah."
"For sex?"
She looked at me for the first time, and I couldn't tell if she was disgusted or amused.
"Um…yeah. See, this part shows times during the week when we have the most ti-"
"Edward?" she interrupted, closing the laptop.
"Yeah?"
"Would you rather explain the sexytime, or go have the sexytime?"
I tossed her over my shoulder and ran to the bedroom.
'*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*'
I reached Forks and drove straight to the tree line, hoping beyond hope that she might have come

here, even though she had no clue I had followed her to Washington. If Jasper hadn't convinced Alice
to listen to me, I'd still be at home ripping my hair out without knowing she'd cashed in our

Christmas ticket early.
I ran through the rain to our tree, terrified I might find her there, terrified I wouldn't.
No dice.
Climbing back into my car, I shook my now-drenched arms out as I started up the ignition again and

gunned it down the street to head to her house. As I passed the police station, I almost cried in relief

when I saw Charlie's cruiser in the parking lot. It would be hard enough to convince Bella not to kill
me on sight.
I flew into her driveway, throwing the car into park behind another one with the same rental
sticker on the bumper as mine.
Looking up, I saw it.
Her light was on. She was there.
'*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*'

Junior year – the year that tested us the most. It wasn't the busy schedules; it wasn't the increased

work as Bella became officially declared B.A. English Lit and I became officially declared B.A. Music
Theory with a Minor in Performance.
No. Time was something precious that we grabbed a hold of every chance we got, and we shared
everything.
Everything.
But sharing everything? It meant that when her partner in World Lit started asking her out?
She told me.
She told me he was a flirt, she told me she wasn't interested, and she told me that she couldn't do

anything about it, because he wasn't crossing a line and their final project was responsible for
almost half her grade in the class.
We'd both been asked out by other people over the years, but it was always easily dealt with, always
something we could laugh about later. Because it usually only took one rejection for someone to go

away.
But this fucker wasn't going anywhere 'til the end of the semester. And every time I picked Bella up

from the library, we'd be as polite as could be to each other until Bella's back was turned. And then

he'd give me that look, that fucking look that meant, I want your girl.
Which left me anxious. And angry. And increasingly irrational.
Which left her defensive. And irritated. And infuriatingly rational.
"You're late," I accused, the second she stepped through the door.
"Hello to you, too," she waved, dropping her bag down with a thud. "My day was fine, thanks for
asking. How was yours?"
I set my jaw, not in the mood. It was past eight-thirty, and she'd said eight. She looked at my face and
sighed, shaking her head and looking away.
"We came across a reference for a rare edition that needed checking out. It took us a long time to
track it down and then go through it. We just…lost track of time," she shrugged apologetically.
"That happens a lot with him, it seems," I muttered bitterly. She walked over to the kitchen table
and took a seat across from me.
"That's not fair," she argued. "We were working, not hanging out. It's for my gra-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. For your grade. For you, it's just a project. But he wants you, and he's not going

to stop 'til he gets you."
"Okay, first of all, stop making me sound like a Happy Meal toy. Second of all, you make it sound like
it's an inevitability that he'll get me. That's not happening. He asks me out every Tuesday and

Thursday, and every Tuesday and Thursday, I say no. And then I come home to you. Grumpy,
grouchy you," she smiled, trying to snap me out of my mood as she reached her hand across the

table for me to take.
I slipped my hand into hers, sighing heavily.
"I don't know what it is about him, Bella," I admitted quietly. "I just see a guy that's better looking,
has more in common with you than I do, and he's fucking relentless."

"He's annoying is what he is," she huffed. "He doesn't know me at all, Edward, and I don't know him.

The only thing that we have in common is our major and he is not better looking than you. I…God!
Don't you know how gorgeous you are to me?"
I shook my head stubbornly, trying to pull my hand back, but she wouldn't let me. Holding firm, she
tugged at me until I would meet her eyes. My chest tightened, curling in on itself.
"Don't shut me out like that. Talk this out with me. He's…Edward, I don't know what his game is. I
don't know if I'm the game, or a challenge, or if he genuinely thinks he likes me, but I don't care.

Chances are, he's just never been told 'no' before. And the thing is, is that I don't have any choice but
to tell him 'no'. Because my heart's not mine to give.
"I'm yours, boy."
At once, my chest expanded, as if I'd just taken my first breath. Her eyes were fiercely determined,

begging me to believe her, to let this go. I tugged her hand to get her to stand and then pulled her
into my lap, crushing her to me.
"Mine," I whispered.
"Yours," she whispered back. "But only if you're mine, too."
"Always. Always yours, girl."
'*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*'
I knocked on the door to no avail.
"Bella! C'mon! Please just open the door. Give me five minutes and I can explain everything, I swear
it."
Cursing, I kicked the door once before checking the old floorboard in the porch. Cursing again, I
stomped it back into place. Nothing. I tried every window and door, all of them locked, curtains

closed.
"Bella. I know you're in there," I shouted, trying to be heard over the rain pounding down on the

roof above me. If I thought she could hear me clearly enough, I'd just explain it all through the
fucking door. Running to the side of the house, I yelled up to her window. "Bella, please!"
Nothing.
My eyes locked on the tree of doom, my old nemesis and partner in crime.
"We meet again," I grunted, hoisting myself up the first branch.
'*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*'
Senior year – the year that everything was falling into place. We were set up to apply for our

Master's as soon as we graduated. Jasper would be completing his at UCLA, since that was where
Alice hoped to work after graduation. Bella and I would still be living together, but I didn't want it to

be as just boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. I didn't care if we drove to Vegas for the weekend and
got married at a drive-thru chapel by Elvis or waited until we were done with school.
I just wanted my ring on her finger.
And not just any ring. That ring. The one we saw in a little antiques shop one day when we were

walking around together, the one that made her eyes light up for a split-second before she tried to
mask it and just keep walking. She didn't want me to see, because I had purposefully dodged any

discussions about marriage and engagement for the last few months. I wanted to throw her off the
trail and catch her completely off guard. Take her completely by surprise and sweep her off her feet.

But how to get it as a twelve-dollar-an-hour paid intern? A little more complicated.
I stalked that shop every week, praying every time I passed by that the ring would still be in the
window. And on one such day, I got waved inside by an amused, middle-aged woman, who I came to

find out was the owner of the shop. We got to talking, and I ended up spilling my guts to her. I told
her how Bella and I first met, our relationship over the years, our future plans for school, and that

was when I got lucky and hit a home run.
Her daughter was getting married and needed a pianist for two different engagement parties, the

rehearsal, wedding and reception.
There was no way that that equaled the value on that ring, but she didn't care. All she wanted, she'd

said, was for her daughter to have the wedding of her dreams, and for me to get a chance at my own.
I could have kissed her.
I met her daughter and her fiancé, both really nice people. They listened to me play and hired me on
the spot.
The only hard part was keeping it from Bella. I had to meet with the soon-to-be bride to discuss
different pieces, practice for the upcoming parties, had to go to the upcoming parties, all while not

letting her know. If she'd known I was playing a wedding gig, she'd want to know why, when we

were getting really close to graduation and already had a lot of exams and final projects to deal
with. And I couldn't exactly tell her it was for the money, so…
I had to lie about a fake project to explain my absences, and I'm a pretty bad liar. Not as bad as Bella,
but pretty damn close. So I avoided talking too much about my 'project' with her, because the last

thing I needed was stumbling over fake details I'd forgotten about. I didn't like having to be distant
to her; I just didn't want her to catch onto my plan.
I played the wedding a few days before graduation, with plans to meet up with the owner this week
to pick up the ring and a letter of reference she insisted on giving me in case I ever wanted to do gigs

in the future. Admittedly, it was a pretty good way to make easy money.
Bella and I both graduated with honors, with Charlie and my parents flying in to see it and cheer us

proudly as we crossed the stage. Their graduation present? The now-used Christmas plane tickets.
I told Bella I had to run a quick errand and ducked out of the apartment early this morning to go

meet the owner. I walked down to the corner coffee shop, only to find her daughter waiting for me
instead. She just wanted to thank me in person, she'd said, since she didn't get the chance to the

night of her wedding. She handed me the reference letter and the little worn velvet box with a

beaming smile. On our way out, she tripped on the doorjamb, and I instinctively grabbed her
around the waist to keep her from falling. We laughed, she kissed my cheek before walking away,

and I turned around to go home.
Only to be met with a ghostly-white, shaking Bella.
I'd barely felt the sting of the slap before she was gone.
I waited at home for a while, calling her over and over, before I thought she wasn't coming back to

the apartment. So I set out to go look for her, only to come home later to find she'd slipped in after I
left, her suitcase gone, her necklace resting on top of the kitchen table.
I'd hoped she'd just gone to Alice's, and I called both of them relentlessly until Jasper showed up
ready to kick my ass. Once I'd explained, he called Alice himself, but she admitted that she'd just

dropped Bella off at the airport in San Francisco an hour before.
I was on the next flight out.

'*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*' '*'
"Oh, fuck. I'm gonna die," I groaned, catching the branch above me just as the one below me swayed
and I almost lost my footing. Slowly, I made my way up, branches and leaves whipping me in the face

as the storm continued to beat down on me.
This was not one of my smartest ideas.
I should've just broken a downstairs window. Because I was apparently going to have to break
Bella's as it was closed.
This day just keeps getting better and better.
Gripping the branch above me for dear life, I reached over and knocked on the window, jiggling the

handle. I heard a startled yelp from inside.
"Bella! Open the window or I'm breaking it!"
The curtain flew open to reveal her, her fingers fumbling with the lock to push the window open.
She backed up immediately as I threw myself inside, just as the aged branch beneath me started to

give way. I picked myself up off the floor, confused at first as pieces of paper stuck to my drenched
clothes. As I pulled them off of me I took in the mess of her room; there were papers everywhere. I

looked down at the one that had been stuck to my arm and read.
Hey Bella!
I miss you so much. Baseball's not as cool without you here to watch…
Looking back up at her, my heart broke at the now-clear vision I had of her face. Her eyes were puffy
and red-rimmed, bloodshot and rapidly refilling with tears.
"Please. Just leave," she rasped weakly, her voice trembling.
"No," I said firmly. "Not until you listen to me."
"I want you to leave," she repeated, her chin quivering even as she tried to make her voice strong.
"Give me five minutes. If you still want me gone in five minutes, I'll walk out that door and never

bother you again," I promised softly, lifting my hands in surrender.
We stood facing each other in silence as she swallowed heavily and shook slightly. After a moment,

she nodded jerkily, moving around me to sit on the edge of her bed. I sat down on the floor in front
of her, smiling sadly at the blanket clutched tightly in her hands before looking up to catch her eyes

with mine.
"I lied about having a second end-of-year project with my advisor," I began, watching warily as her

eyes grew hard, but I pushed on. "I was doing a gig for a wedding. The woman you saw today, that

was the bride."
She swallowed visibly, clearly confused. Sniffling, she shook her head. "No. You've been

disappearing off and on for weeks now, not just for a wedding."
"I know," I agreed. "There were a few other gigs I did for the same couple, and I also had to

practice."
"But why couldn't you just tell me?" she asked. "It doesn't make sense…And that woman. I saw her.

She kissed you."
"Just on the cheek, after I caught her when she tripped. She met me to thank me and pay me, that's

all, Bella. I swear."

"But…you…oh my God, I hit you!" she wailed, dropping her face into her hands as she started to cry

again.
"No, baby, it's okay," I whispered, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head.
She looked up at me, shaking her head violently. "No! It's not okay! How can you say it's okay? I hit
you and I wouldn't even listen or open the door and…and…and you had to climb the tree!"
"I don't care about the tree. We go way back," I winked, trying to keep her from crying again. "I had
to talk to you."
To my dismay, her face crumpled anyway.
"I didn't even let you try to tell me. I just ran. I saw you, and…"
"Bella. Do you really think I would do that to you?" I asked her seriously.
"No," she answered automatically. She pushed off the bed and began to pace, groaning in

frustration. "Aargh! That's why I ran, I was so confused, I didn't understand. Because when I added
everything up, it looked like that's what you were doing, but I just couldn't believe you really would.

But you're always gone lately, and you were laughing with her and she was so pre-"
"Don't," I stopped her, holding her arms to keep her still. "Just stop. I get it. I do. If it had been me, I

would have killed the guy first and asked questions later. But please promise you'll talk to me next

time."
She nodded furiously, her eyes full of remorse. "I will. I'm sorry. I just…we don't really talk at all

lately, and I could feel you pulling away from me, but I didn't know what to do, and then…"
"Bella," I sighed, shaking my head sadly. "I know. And I'm sorry for that. But stop this now."
"Did I hurt you?" she asked, her eyes searching mine. She raised her hand up slowly to palm my
cheek, rubbing the invisible mark.
"What? A weak, little kitten like you?" I joked, choking back a laugh at the look of indignant shock
on her face.
"It's not funny!" she shrieked. "I can't believe I hit you! And you…and you…"
"Bella!" I interrupted.
She stopped talking, biting on her lip as she looked back at me worriedly.
"Just c'mere and kiss it better."
She smiled meekly, elevating to her tiptoes to kiss my proffered cheek gently. She started to pull
back when I stopped her with my hands on her waist.
"A little bit to the left," I said softly. I felt her lips curl up as she pressed another gentle kiss beneath

my eye, and I held her firm. "A little bit down."
She kissed her way down my face until her lips were at the corner of my mouth.
"A little more to the left."
She brushed her lips against mine softly, pecking me with sweet, gentle kisses.
But I didn't fly two hours on an overcrowded flight, drive three hours in a rental car with no
traction, and climb the tree of doom in the middle of a fucking monsoon for gentle.

I fisted a hand at the nape of her neck, pressing her to me as I devoured her. The spark lit, clothes

began to fly around the room as I steered her to the bed, dropping her onto it and covering her body
with my own immediately. With a single thrust, I was home.
The spark was a flame now, the heat searing me as I moved in her with a fierce rhythm. Her moans
echoed off the walls in the small room; it filled with the smell of rain and memories and us. I kissed

her as the fire grew and grew, until it threatened to consume me.
"I love you. I can only ever love you," I gasped out.
Her eyes flew open and locked with mine.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"No," I panted, taking her mouth again and swallowing her apologies. "Just tell me you love me. And
never leave me like that again."
Her eyes filled even as she began to tighten around me, almost bringing me over.
"No. Never," she choked. "I love you. I love you!"
Her cry ended me as I exploded and shattered. Nearly collapsing on top of her, she took over, sliding
me up her sweaty body to kiss me between gasps. As I came back down to earth, I could hear her

whispering into my mouth.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Don't," I breathed. "Just don't. Let it go."
I groaned as I pulled out of her, falling onto my back on the bed and holding her close to me. We lay
in silence for a moment as we recovered our breathing, her fingers scratching patterns on my chest.
"I'm sorry," she whispered again.
I chuckled breathlessly, shaking my head as I turned on my side to face her and she did the same.
"Stop apologizing," I ordered gently, but she shook her head.
"I can't," she argued, her face filled with guilt. "I have to."
"Bella," I sighed.
I watched her face carefully, a slow smile spreading across my own. This wasn't exactly the plan, but

after a day like today, it might be impossible for her to be more off the trail than this. Smirking, I
reached over and grabbed my pants off the ground, pulling out her necklace from inside my wallet.
"I have been acting kind of funny lately," I admitted, then pretended to change the subject. "You
forgot this at home."
I lifted up the necklace, holding the charm in my fist and letting the chain dangle. Her chin trembled

as she nodded.
"Thank you," she whispered.
I smiled, letting her move her hair around, wild as it was, to fix the clasp around her neck. Laying it
gently on her chest, I remained hovering above her.
"I had this thing that I wanted to get, but I didn't want to tell you. I wanted it to be a surprise. I had
all these different ideas," I began, smiling crookedly down at her. "And not one of them had us

naked until after."

She furrowed her brow in confusion, but I shook my head and she understood, biting her lip to stay

silent.
"At first, I was thinking a cliché fancy dinner, but then I thought, that's not really us. And I can never

read the menus at those places anyway. So then on my way here, I was thinking once I talked you
down from the ledge, maybe we could go to the tree, where it all began. But it hasn't stopped raining

in over four hours, so I think that's out.
"So," I inhaled deeply. "I'm forced to either wait, or - only I'm not the most-"
"Patient person in the world," she finished, smiling up at me, even though she had no idea what I
was rambling about.
"I'm really not," I murmured, reaching down to her necklace and lifting it up for her to see. She
froze, her eyes wide and unblinking. My heart pounding, I turned the ring slowly. "Breathe, Bella."
She gasped in a sudden breath, exhaling shakily. Her eyes darted between mine and the ring as she
waited silently.
"I wish for you to marry me."
Tears leaked out the sides of her eyes as a smile spread across her face. She nodded emphatically,

sniffling between laughs.
"Yes. Yes!"
She threw her arms around my neck and I wrapped myself around her, a relieved laugh escaping

me as I held her to me as tightly as I could. I rocked us back and forth as she kept saying yes, over
and over.
Pulling back, I smoothed her hair away from her face and undid her necklace again, letting the ring
fall into my hand. I took her left arm from around my neck and brought her hand between us,

holding the ring at the tip of her finger.
"I don't care if it's today, tomorrow, or next year, kitten. I love you."
"I love you, too," she smiled, her eyes bright.
I started to move the ring down her finger, but paused.
"Still yes? You've been a little flighty today," I teased.
She choked out an indignant laugh, pinching my side with her free hand.
"Aah!" I laughed, squirming. "Too soon?"
She threw her head back, laughing, and I slid the ring on. I swallowed thickly at the sight of it on her

finger. It was old, and the diamond was small, and I didn't know how many other people had worn it

in its long life, but on her…
"It's perfect," she breathed. "Thank you."
"I'm gonna love you forever, girl."
"Even when I'm wrinkly and too old to be a girl anymore?" she whispered, sniffling.
Grinning, I moved over her to start biting kisses down her jaw and throat.
"Bella. Tell me when I'm gonna stop being your boy."
She gasped as I licked a trail up her clavicle, kissing her shoulder and moving down.
"Never."

I moved up until my face was right in front of hers.
"See? Now stop talking. I'm trying to celebrate my new engagement here."
She pulled my face down to hers, kissing me roughly.
"Fucking Dickward," she mumbled into my neck, nipping at me in punishment. "Stupid boy."
"Your stupid boy," I whispered, slipping inside her and starting to move slowly. "Crazy kitten."
"Your crazy kitten," she moaned back.
"Mine."
"Yours."

I want pinned down
I want unsettled
Rattle cage after cage
Until my blood boils

~*~

The End