Fubar

Sometimes the biggest smiles hide the biggest
heartbreak.

Although Ben acts like he lives to be the center

of  the  party,  nothing  could  be  further  from  the
truth. Insecure and feeling like a failure because he
became  a  nurse  instead  of  a  doctor  like  his
grandfather, Ben constantly fights depression. One
night he goes out to a seedy bar to drink away his
woes,  only  to  become  the  victim  of  an  assault.
Luck  is  finally  with  him,  however,  because  a
handsome stranger intervenes and saves Ben.

Danny loves his job as a cop for the city of

Pontiac…or  at  least  he  used  to.  Now  the  never
ending politics and budget cuts make him wonder
if he should move somewhere else. After he saves
Ben, Danny finds all kinds of reasons to stay. But
every time he tries to get closer to Ben, the nurse
pulls  back.  Will  Danny  ever  discover  why  Ben  is
running  away?  And  if  he  does,  will  that  reason
bring them closer or keep them apart?

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author’s rights is appreciated.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters,
places, and incidents either are products of the author’s
imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance
to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental.

Fubar

ISBN: 978-1-77111-078-5

Cover art by Martine Jardin

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Published by eXtasy Books

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Chapter One

UBAR—also known as fucked up beyond all

recognition.

It was the perfect description to fit how

Ben’s day had gone. Hell, it fit his entire life, but
since he didn’t want to dwell on all that past
baggage, he decided to focus on just this one day.
Otherwise, he’d get more depressed than he
already was.

He’d known it was going to be one of those days

the  instant  he  ran  into  his  grandfather  while  the
elderly  man  had  been  making  rounds  with  the
interns. Why his grandfather refused to retire was
a mystery to Ben. The man probably stuck around
so  he  could  continue  to  make  Ben  feel  like  a
failure.

Hoisting his backpack higher on his shoulder,

Ben  plugged  the  key  into  the  door  of  his  car,
praying  that  it  would  start  up  since  it  was  damn
cold.  Once  inside,  he  turned  the  key  in  the
ignition, relief flooding him when the engine only
coughed  once  before  starting.  Shivering  from  the

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harsh Michigan winter, he waited a few minutes
for his car to warm up.

Of course, the first thing his mind did was go

back  to  his  day  at  work  and  just  how  much  of  a
craptastic  time  it’d  been.  He  realized  the  minute
he  walked  through  the  doors  of  St.  Anthony’s
hospital that morning that he was in trouble when
he found out that he would be in the cardiac hall of
the ER. While he didn’t mind a bit of hard work,
this time of year was always big for heart attacks
so he knew he would be hopping. True to form, he
barely had time to take his lunch break, which had
consisted of crappy food from the cafeteria. Since
it  was  fish  stick day,  the  place  had  smelled rank,
too.

Then, when he got back, he had to run smack

dab into his grandfather. Or rather, Dr. Lee, as Ben
had been instructed many times to address the
older man.

Shivering in the cold, Ben wondered what it

was about him that made his grandfather hold so
much disdain for him. Perhaps it was because Ben
was  only  half  Korean,  since  his  father  was
American. Or it could be that Ben chose to go into
nursing instead of becoming a cardiologist like his
grandfather.  Whatever  the  reason,  the  man
couldn’t  stand  Ben  and  he  never  missed  an
opportunity to let the whole world know it.

As soon as Ben walked back to his station, his

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grandfather  had  descended,  his  interns  following
like  white-coated  minions.  The  older  man’s  eyes
were  stormy  with  anger  and  his  lips  pressed
together in a grim line.

Already knowing that gramps wasn’t coming

up to give a hug, Ben steeled himself for yet
another confrontation.

“Why haven’t you done an EKG on the patient

in bed three?” Dr. Lee demanded, his accent
hardly discernible.

Glancing over, Ben winced as he saw the bed

that had been empty when he’d gone to lunch was
now filled with a new patient. Worse yet, it was
Mrs. Adams, a frequent flyer who had a well-
documented history of arrhythmias.

Damn it, why did it have to be today that

Maddie was the one who covered his lunch break?
While  she  may  be  a  nice  enough  girl,  as  a  nurse,
she  sucked  big  time.  Repressing  a  groan  of
dismay, Ben slightly bowed his head. “Sorry about
that,  Dr.  Lee.  I’ll  make  sure  it’s  done
immediately.”

Ben knew better than to try and explain that the

lapse in patient care hadn’t been his fault. If there
was one thing his grandfather hated more than
mistakes, it was excuses. Ben took two steps away
before Dr. Lee’s sharp voice stopped him short.

“Do you think a simple apology will help the

patient if the delay in her diagnosis causes her

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death?”

Ben froze, fighting to keep his features neutral.

Damn it all, his grandfather may treat him like
dirt, but Ben would rather die than to let the
bastard know just how much it bothered him.

“No, Doctor. Once again, I’m sorry. It won’t

happen again.”

“You say that all the time, yet you continue to

show how lacking you are in your job.”

His grandfather then went on for over five

minutes,  listing  all  the  mistakes  Ben  had  made
while they’d both worked at the same hospital. It
briefly  entered  Ben’s  mind  to  point  out  that  the
very  public  dressing  down  was  only  further
delaying  Mrs.  Adams’s  care,  but  Ben  bit  his
tongue.  He  learned  a  long  time  ago,  that  it  only
made things worse when he talked back.

So, he just stood there, stiff like some scarecrow

clad in dark blue scrubs while his own
grandfather pointed out every single one of Ben’s
faults to a dozen interns, many of whom shot Ben
sympathetic glances. By the time it was over, Ben
just wanted to crawl behind the nurses’s station
and lick his wounds. However, since he really did
have a job to do, he couldn’t even have that little
bit of pleasure.

“What are you waiting for?” Dr. Lee waved an

impatient hand. “Get me that EKG. You better
hope that no damage has been done or else I’ll

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report you.”

Without another word, Ben rushed over to the

patient’s bedside. Maddie was already there. She
must have heard the dressing down Ben received
because she was quickly attaching the leads to
Mrs. Adams.

Lifting her bright blue eyes up, Maddie nipped

on her bottom lip. “I am so sorry, Ben. Would it
make it any better if I went and told him it was my
fault?”

Ben shook his head. “He would only think that

I was using others to make excuses for me.”

Mrs. Adams grabbed Ben’s wrist, her gnarled

fingers cold. “He’s an asshole. You’re the best
nurse here and I’ll tell that to anybody who asks
me.”

Reaching out, touched by her words, Ben

smoothed  back  some  of  her  messy  gray  hair.
Confined  to  a  state-run  nursing  home  with  no
family,  Mrs.  Adams  had  it  rough,  but  Ben  never
heard  her  complain.  “And  you’re  the  best
patient.”

Having finished putting on the twelve leads,

Ben  turned  to  check  out  the  reading  on  the
monitor.  He  was  relieved  that  nothing  new
showed up, but dismayed to see that she was still
showing the same signs that her heart wouldn’t be
holding out much longer.

Printing off a couple strips of the EKG reading,

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Ben clipped them to the patient chart, then asked
Maddie, “Can you get the blood samples and start
an IV while I take these to Dr. Lee?”

Maddie nervously tugged on her brown

ponytail. “You sure you don’t want me to take
them to him?”

Oh God, yes please. Yet, Ben knew that would be

taking the coward’s way out and only add fuel to
his grandfather’s hatred. “No, I’ll do it. Just make
sure to get the blood right down to the lab.”

Taking in a deep breath to steady himself, Ben

searched out his grandfather. He found the doctor
and his mini-me group huddled in front of the
main nurses’s station. Ben wordlessly handed the
chart over and waited while his grandfather’s
disapproving gaze looked it over.

After barking out some orders that were pretty

routine  for  cardiac  patients,  he  thrust  the  chart
back  at  Ben.  “You  were  lucky  this  time.  No
wonder  you  couldn’t  made  it  in  medical  school.
You  never  were  that  bright.  Even  as  a  child,  I
could  see  that  lacking  in  you.  Such  a
disappointment. I don’t know why I ever expected
it to change.”

With that parting insult, his grandfather walked

away, his interns trailing after him like a school of
ducklings. With nothing left to do, Ben went to the
drug room to get the meds that Dr. Lee prescribed
for Mrs. Adams.

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He let out a low groan of frustration when his

friend Ricky stormed in.

“Aren’t you needed in radiology?” Ben asked,

not taking his eyes off the chart.

Best friends for most of their lives, Ricky knew

all the details of Ben’s life, down to the way Dr.
Lee treated him. So Ben knew without a doubt
that was what his friend was there to talk about.

“Why do you let him treat you that way?”

Ricky demanded, his green eyes glinting with
outrage.

“Because he’s my elder and I am always to

respect him,” Ben recited the words his mother
had so often spoken to him.

“Yeah, I wonder if your father would feel the

same way if he knew how Dr. Lee was treating
you.”

Ben froze, his gut clenching in dread. That was

one  showdown  he  never  wanted  to  see.  It would
only  end  with  his  mother  in  the  middle,  feeling
more torn than ever. It was bad enough that she’d
dishonored  the  family  by  marrying  an  American.
For her to feel as if she had to take things further
by  standing  up  for  her  son  would  only  make  it
worse.

Striving to act casual, Ben drawled, “Please,

you did not just suggest that I go to my daddy and
tattle on Dr. Lee. That would be lame.”

Ricky muttered a curse as he ran a hand

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through his brown hair. “Well, can’t you complain
to administration or something?”

“One lesson I learned very early on is that we

are never to air our family differences out to
others. It’s to remain private.”

“Yeah, he seems to be following that rule

perfectly. I’m sure nobody has noticed all the
times he’s humiliated you and treated you like
dirt,” Ricky replied sarcastically.

Ouch, but Ricky did have him there. It still

didn’t mean that Ben was going to administration
to file a complaint. It would be better that he just
take the abuse and move on. It worked out better
for everybody in the end.

Well, everybody but me, but then, since when did

that really matter?

“Does he even know that you’re gay?” Ricky

challenged.

“No, my parents support me, but my mother

thinks it would be best if her family never found
out.”

“What about when you meet somebody special

and start dating him? Don’t you think Gramps is
going to notice your partner’s lack of breasts?”

Ben arched a brow. “You really can be crude

sometimes. You know that?”

Folding his arms over his chest, Ricky gave Ben

the look. The one that always let him know he’d
pushed his friend too far. “Most of my comments I

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learned from you. Why is it that whenever you’re
around him, you become some closet case who’s
afraid of his own shadow? If anybody else were
acting that way, you’d be the first to yell at them
to stand up for themselves.”

“It’s different with him,” Ben explained lamely.
“How so?”
“It just is.”
Damn it, but why did Ricky have to be so

persistent with this? Why couldn’t he just leave
sucky enough be?

“Why? Because he had a bad patch in the past?

So what? That still doesn’t give him the right to
treat you the way he does.” Ricky began to pace
around the small room.

“Being kept as a political prisoner in one of

North Korea’s most notorious detention camps is
hardly a bad patch,” Ben shot back.

As always, whenever his grandfather lashed

out at him, Ben knew it probably was from those
five years of hell the man had endured. While he’d
been able to evacuate Ben’s mother and
grandmother, Dr. Lee had been arrested and kept
as a political prisoner. Just surviving was a miracle
so Ben didn’t expect that the man wouldn’t come
out with a few mental scars.

“That was a long time ago and you had nothing

to do with it so he shouldn’t take it out on you.
Shit, Ben, you weren’t even born then.”

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Ben punched in a code to unlock the cabinet,

then began to pull out various meds. “Well, he has
to take it out on somebody so why not go after his
disappointment of a grandson? The fact that we
work at the same hospital only makes it all the
more convenient for him.”

“How are you a disappointment to him?

Everybody says that you’re one of the best nurses
at St. Anthony’s.”

“That’s just it. I’m a nurse, not a doctor like

him.  So  no  matter  how  hard  I  try,  I’ll  never
measure  up  to  him.”  Ben  let  out  a  bitter  laugh.
“Hell, I could be the country’s top cardiologist and
he’d still hate me because of my mixed heritage. If
he  were  to  find  out  that  I  was  gay  on  top  of  all
that, he’d disown me for sure.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Ricky asked

gently.

“It would kill my mother. I can’t do that to

her.”

“Even if it means hiding who you are?”
“Yes. It’s a small price to pay. I’ve already

disappointed her enough.”

A squawking sound from somebody remotely

unlocking their car jerked Ben out of his musings.
He noted that while he’d drifted away, the car had
warmed up. He still didn’t move to put it in gear
as he debated where he was going to go.

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The rational part of him said that he should go

home, eat dinner, grab a shower and go to bed. He
had another shift in a couple of days and it would
be just as busy as ever. But the irrational part of
him was calling out for some relief, and damn if
that bit of him wasn’t louder.

He just wanted to go get drunk, then fucked so

he  could  forget  about  his  worries,  if  only  for  a
little while. Hell, he didn’t even care who screwed
him,  which  showed  how  messed  up  emotionally
he was. Ben never went for quick, nameless hook-
ups.  Not  only  was  it  dangerous,  but  he  was
usually way more low keyed than that.

The whole episode with his grandfather had

unsettled him and Ben needed some kind of way
to lash out, even if it was in a way that nobody
would ever find out.

Putting his car in reverse, he made up his mind.

He was going to  Rocky’s. While he only had on a
pair  of  jeans  and  a  t-shirt,  this  wasn’t  exactly  the
kind  of  place  where  one  had  to  dress  up.  Shit,  it
was  a  good  night  if  half  the  clientele  showed  up
with any clothes on at all.

Normally, Ben avoided the place since it was a

bit on the seedier edge of town and there had been
a rash of gay bashings there. In fact, if Ricky found
out, he’d pitch a fit.

Then again, Ricky had a boyfriend waiting for

him when he got home, whereas Ben could only

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look  forward  to  a  cold  empty  apartment.  So  who
could  blame  him  for  wanting  some  kind  of
companionship,  even  if  it  was  only  with  some
nameless stranger and didn’t last the night?

So why was it the closer he got the bar, the

worse Ben felt about himself?

Fubar

Chapter Two

ince he was technically off duty, Danny knew
he had no business walking up and down the

streets  of  Pontiac  looking  for  trouble.  Hell,  he
should  go  home  and  catch  some  sleep  since  he’d
just pulled in another double shift.

The trouble was he knew that if he didn’t take

the time to patrol this area of Pontiac, then nobody
would. While many in the force had gone a long
way from the days of outright homophobia, a lot
of them didn’t exactly go out of their way to make
sure that the alleys by Rocky’s were the safest place
to be.

A gust of wind blew over him, kicking up some

swirls of snow. He pulled up the collar of his
jacket as he wondered again just what in the hell
he thought he could do. It wasn’t as if he were in
uniform so he didn’t think his presence made any
difference. Sure, he could flash his gun and badge,
but that would only be after trouble started, and
by then it might be too late.

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The night was winding down so it was mostly

drunk men piling out of the dive bar. Some of the
guys were alone, but most were in pairs. Although
when one group, a threesome, came out and went
directly to the alley, all of Danny’s alarm whistles
went off.

As he walked closer, he noted the middle guy

was  so  drunk  his  companions  were  practically
carrying  him.  Then  the  guy  slurred,  “Hey,  I  only
said  one  of  you  and  why  are  we  going  here?  My
place is close enough.”

“Trust us, all we need to do to you can be done

here,” one of the other guys said.

The other gave a nasty laugh. “Make sure we

gag this one so he can’t scream for help like the
last one did.”

“What?” the middle guy asked, his voice

slightly less slurred.

No doubt, the jolt of adrenaline brought in by

fear had sobered him up a bit, but still not enough
to fight away. While he appeared to be tall
enough, he had a thin build and didn’t stand a
chance against the bigger men.

Danny muttered a curse as they disappeared

into  the  darkness  of  the  alley.  Two  against  one.
Even with his gun, he still didn’t like the odds, but
he  couldn’t  let  that  helpless  drunk  get  beaten.
Besides, he had a feeling that these were the type
of  assholes  who  liked  to  avoid  being  on  the  butt

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end of trouble. He was hoping that just
confronting them would be enough.

As he carefully approached the alley, Danny

wished  for  his  radio  so  he  could  call  for  backup,
but  since  he  wasn’t  on  duty,  that  was  out.  He
could  always  call  in  from  his  cell  phone,  but  he
didn’t think the poor sap in the alley had any time
for Danny to do that.

Then the sound of skin connecting hard with

skin, followed by a groan of pain reached his ears
and Danny vaulted into action. Taking his gun
out, he darted into the alley.

“This is the police. Back off!” he yelled.
He gasped in shock at the sight before him. The

two thugs had the third guy on his knees, their
intent perfectly clear. Once the bastards got a look
at Danny’s gun, they froze for only a second
before they both ran in the opposite direction.

“Damn cowards,” Danny growled.
Not that he’d expected anything different. Jerks

like that only liked to pick off easy prey. Once
faced with somebody who could actually put up a
fight, they bolted like rabbits.

Holstering his gun, Danny went over to the

victim, still keeping a close ear out for the sounds
of  footsteps  that  would  warn  him  that  the
attackers  were  returning.  The  man  remained  on
his  knees,  his  shoulders  slumped,  his  head
hanging—as if in shame.

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“Hey, buddy, are you okay?” Danny asked
The victim finally looked up and Danny sucked

in a breath as he found himself instantly attracted
to  the  other  man.  Damn  it  though,  he  knew  he
shouldn’t  be  having  that  reaction,  after  all,  this
guy  barely  avoided  being  viciously  attacked.  The
last  thing  he  needed  was  his  would-be  rescuer
drooling over him.

Danny found himself powerless to help himself,

though.  With  dark,  almost  raven  hair,  slightly
almond-shaped brown eyes and high cheekbones,
the  guy  was  both  exotic  and  sexy  as  hell.
Well…except  for  the  huge  red  mark  marring  up
one cheek.

Squatting down, Danny reached out and tried

to touch the injury, only to have the man pull
away. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s safe. I wasn’t lying, I
really am the police.”

To prove his point, Danny pulled out his badge

and flashed it. The other man’s gaze briefly flicked
over it before he gave a barely discernible nod.
“Thanks for helping me.”

“No problem, it’s my job.”
Even as Danny brushed off the gratitude, he

realized that job or not, now that he’d taken one
look into the man’s soulful gaze, he’d still come to
his rescue.

“What’s your name?” Danny asked gently.
“Ben.”

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“Do you have a last name?”
Ben tilted his head to the side. “Am I under

arrest?”

“Is there something I should arrest you for?”

Danny challenged.

“No, that is if being a complete idiot for coming

here in the first place isn’t a chargeable offense.”

Danny smiled at the Ben’s attempt at humor.

“Not last time I looked.”

“Okay, then why do you need to know my last

name?”

“I’m just curious.”
Ben seemed to think that over for a few

moments before replying, “It’s Walker.”

“Really?” Danny gave him a speculative once

over.

“What? You don’t believe me because I don’t

look white enough to you?” Ben challenged
bitterly.

“No, that’s the last thing I would do.” Danny

gestured over his own Hispanic features. “My
grandparents emigrated fifty years ago from
Mexico.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess you have a point there. Sorry

about that, it’s just a touchy subject with me.”
Pausing to study Danny with a somewhat glassy
gaze, Ben asked, “What’s your name?”

“Danny Hernandez.”
“Nice to meet you.”

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Ben reached out to shake hands, but Danny

grabbed it instead and tugged the man to his feet.
Ben wobbled a bit before getting his bearings.
Letting out a sigh, he said, “Well, thanks for the
help, but I need to get going.”

“Not so fast. You need to file a police report

against those guys and then you need to go to the
hospital and get your injury checked out.”

Ben practically jumped out of his skin at the

mention of the word hospital. His eyes grew wide
and, even in the shitty lighting, Danny could see
the guy go a couple shades paler.

“Ah, that’s not necessary. I’m a nurse, I can take

care of myself,” Ben argued.

“You can’t if you end up with a concussion or a

bleed in the brain,” Danny returned just as
stubbornly.

“It was just a simple punch.”
A touch of color spread over Ben’s cheeks, but

it was enough to let him know that the guy didn’t
want it to get out where he’d been that night.

“Do you work at the hospital?” Ben asked.
He didn’t go so far as to say the exact name.

While Pontiac had two main hospitals, the nearest
one was St. Anthony’s.

Ben nodded. “Yeah, I usually work third shift

in the ER, but I pulled a double so I was off
tonight.”

“And you’re not out there,” Ben surmised.

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“Kind of…to a few I am, but my grandfather

works there, too, and…” Ben trailed off, obviously
not wanting to go into greater detail.

“You don’t have to tell them where you were.”
“Me coming in like this, period, would be

enough of an embarrassment to him. He believes
that real men know how to stand up for
themselves.”

A spike of protective anger went through

Danny as he caught the defeated look that flitted
over Ben’s face. “Even if they’re outnumbered?”

“That won’t matter to him.”
“Well, how about I take you to one of the after-

hour clinics?”

Ben shook his head. “He’ll still find out.

Everybody, and I mean everybody, knows who my
grandfather is and they’ll blab.”

“Fine, but you’re still going down and filling

out a police report,” Danny ordered.

“I don’t think it will do much good. I didn’t get

a good look at either of the guys who attacked me
and we both know how little the police care about
crimes committed against gay men.” Ben gasped,
his eyes going wide as if he suddenly recalled
what Danny did for a living. “I didn’t mean that in
reference to you or anything. You did help me
after all.”

Danny gave him a pat on the back, making Ben

wobble a bit more. “Don’t worry. I’m gay, too.

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Why do you think I was here? I’m one of the few
who actually gives a damn about what happens in
this area.”

“Do I really have to fill out a report now? I

don’t feel that well and I just want to go home and
sleep this off,” Ben pleaded.

Danny considered the request for a second

before nodding. “Okay, but only on two
conditions. You let me take you home since you’re
in no state to drive and I stay the night.”

When Ben looked ready to balk, Danny held up

a hand and continued, “It’s just to look after you
in case you have a concussion. I’m not trying to
make any moves on you.”

No matter how hot you may be.
“Then when you get up, we’re going down to

fill out a complaint.”

Ben shook his head. “It still won’t do any good.

I didn’t get a good look at either of them.”

“Yet, you were still going to go home and fuck

them?”

Ben’s shoulders slumped as he gazed at the

ground. “I know that makes me sound like some
kind of slut, doesn’t it? Would you believe me if I
told you I usually don’t do that kind of thing?”

“Don’t worry. It’s really none of my business so

I don’t judge,” Danny said, even as an irrational
spike of jealousy went through him.

“I was just…” Ben hesitated, as if searching for

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the right word, “lonely and needed some stress
relief.”

Something tugged at Danny’s chest as he heard

those  words,  and  damned  if  all  of  a  sudden  he
didn’t  want  to  make  the  one  who  made  all  that
despair  disappear.  Not  just  with  a  quick  fuck
either,  he  wanted  to  wrap  Ben  in  a  protective
embrace and keep him there, which was as crazy
as  hell  since  Danny  had  no  intentions  of  ever
settling  down.  He  liked  his  life  the  way  it  was.
Even  if  he  did  suffer  from  his  own  bouts  of
loneliness from time to time.

“Yeah, I guess I can understand that feeling,”

Danny admitted before he could stop himself.
Nervously clearing his throat, he changed the
subject. “Let’s get out of here. My car is only one
block away. Do you think you can walk that far?”

Giving an indignant look, Ben nearly puffed

out his chest. “Of course I can. I’m not that drunk.”

When he stumbled on the first step, making

Danny  scramble  to  catch  him  before  he  fell,  Ben
mumbled, “Okay, maybe I am that drunk. Damn, I
knew I should have stopped at the rum and  Coke,
or was it the Long Island Ice Tea that did me in. Or
it  could  have  been  that  Appletini.  All  those  shots
didn’t help either, which is just inexcusable on my
part  since  this  place  didn’t  have  a  cute  shot  boy
like  at  the  other  bars  so  I  didn’t  have  any  excuse
for ordering so many drinks.”

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Danny bit back a laugh as he slung an arm

around Ben’s waist and aided him in walking
down the street. Ben looked in the opposite
direction. “Sorry, I don’t want to breathe on you. I
probably reek of booze.”

“Trust me, I’ve smelled worse. Remember what

I do for a living?”

Despite Ben’s height, Danny still had a few

inches on him so he didn’t have any trouble
handling the other man’s weight.

“Working at the ER, you probably are used to

some rank scents yourself,” Danny said,
continuing the insane conversation.

Ben nodded, or more so, just rolled his head in

a drunken version of a nod.  “Yup. One time they
brought  in  this  lady who  was  a  hoarder  and  had
been  buried  under  piles  of  garbage  in  her  house
for God knows how long. The poor thing smelled
terrible. I felt so bad for her.”

It touched Danny that Ben didn’t speak of the

patient with disdain, which was a refreshing
change. In the EMS field, there were so many
jaded people that sometimes empathy was low in
supply.

“I think I remember that case. I was one of the

officers who responded to the call,” Danny said.

He winced a bit as he remembered how they all

had to be decontaminated at a makeshift hazmat
station set up in the street in front of the house. It

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was the kind of call one didn’t forget easily.

Ben gave him a sloppy smile. “Hey, how about

that? It’s a small world.”

“Or better yet, the EMS system in Pontiac is

small.” Adjusting his hold on Ben, Danny tried to
ignore how good the man’s body felt pressed
against him. “In fact, I’m surprised we didn’t run
into each other before. I’m at St. Anthony’s all the
time.”

“Maybe you weren’t looking in the right

direction,” Ben teased.

They reached the car and Danny leaned Ben

against it so he could fish the keys out of his
pocket. The temperature seemed to have dropped
at least ten degrees and a fresh sprinkling of snow
was drifting to the ground, their descent
highlighted by the few working streetlights.

Getting the passenger door open, Danny helped

Ben in and buckled up. Once inside, he turned on
the  engine  and  prayed  that  the  car  would  warm
up  fast.  Not  for  the  first  time,  he  wondered  why
he  lived  in  Michigan  where  the  winter  could  be
colder than Jack Frost’s balls.

“Where do you live?” Danny asked.
Ben rambled off an address that wasn’t too far

away.  Danny  put  the  car  in  gear  and  started  the
drive  there.  Since  he  knew  the  neighborhood,  he
didn’t have to ask for directions. He expected Ben
to  lapse  into  silence,  but  it  turned  out  his  new

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friend was the rambling type of drunk.

“How long have you been a cop?”
“Five years.”
“So how old are you?”
“I’m thirty.”
Ben let out a goofy giggle. “You’re sooooo old.”
Slightly offended, Danny took his eyes off the

road long enough to shoot Ben a glare. “Why?
How old are you?”

“Twenty-five.”
“That’s not that much of a difference.”
Ignoring the argument, Ben moved to a

different topic. “What did you do before you were
a police officer?”

“I was a Marine.”
“Ouch! That must have sucked since you’re

gay. You know, since it was before all that Don’t
Ask, Don’t Tell shit went away.”

“It wasn’t easy, but I managed. Just like you

manage with your grandfather.”

Ben let out a snort, or at least Danny thought he

tried,  it  came  out  more  as  an  exaggerated  sniff.
“You  did  it  so  you  could be  brave  and  still serve
your  country.  I  hide  because  I’m  a  grown  man
who’s  afraid of being judged.”

Danny scrambled his mind for anything to say

to  argue  that  point,  but  damn  it  all,  he  just  kept
coming  up  blank.  He  knew  he  had  to  say
something,  if  only  to  make  Ben  feel  a  little  bit

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better. Then the sounds of soft snores filled the car
and Danny realized he didn’t have to worry
because Ben had passed out.

Darned if he didn’t still look cute, too. Even

with the thin line of drool coming from his mouth.

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Chapter Three

en blinked his eyes open, letting out a groan
as the little bit of light leaking between the

blinds  in  his  bedroom  seemed  to  slice  into  his
brain.  He  instantly  regretted  making  the  noise
when  the  sound  seemed  to  bounce  around  in  his
skull.

What in the fuck did I do last night…and most

importantly with whom?

Lifting the covers, he was somewhat relieved to

note  that  he  still  wore  the  clothes  he  had  on  last
night.  Although  on  closer  inspection,  there  were
smudges  of dirt  on  his  knees, which  was  never  a
good sign after a night of drinking to the point of
blackout.

Or, perhaps a better term would be near blackout

because pieces of the former evening slowly began
to come back to him. He recalled going to Rocky’s,
drinking waaaaay too much and then walking out
with…oh, God!…two guys. Then, those men
turning on him.

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He raised a hand to the area where one of them

had punched him, wincing as pain radiated from
his swollen cheek. That was all the damage they
did, but why?

Oh, right, because somebody had come to his

rescue. A cop?

Danny! Oh, shit!
Ben groaned, winced in pain, then berated

himself for making an ass out of himself in front of
one of the hottest guys he’d seen in the longest
time. Damn it to hell and then back again, Danny
probably thought that Ben was some drunken slut
in a box who went out and slept around.

Then, the soft sounds of somebody humming

came from the kitchen and Ben let out a gasp.

Is Danny still here? No, I must have just left on the

TV or something.

Sure, Danny might have played hero and drove

Ben home, but he probably just dumped him into
bed and ran the hell away. Ben knew he wouldn’t
have blamed the guy. Nobody wanted to play
nursemaid to a drunken mess, especially to a
person they’d just met.

Getting out of bed, Ben cautiously made his

way  to  the  kitchen.  While  he  didn’t  dare  believe
that  he’d  actually  find  Danny  waiting  for  him,  a
small  part  of  Ben  found  himself  hoping  to  find  a
kitchen full of sexy cop.

Still, when he rounded the corner and spotted

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Danny sitting at the table, Ben’s heart skipped a
beat. Holy crap, but Danny looked ten times better
in the daylight. Ben’s memories had not done the
man justice by any stretch of the imagination.

With short almost-raven dark hair that was

stylish,  despite  Danny  being  out  all  night,  and
brown eyes that were fanned with long lashes, he
was  already  droolworthy.  Add  in  his  olive
complexion  and  slightly  muscular  build  and  he
had Ben getting hard, hangover or not.

Danny wore a pair of dark jeans and Ben

bemoaned  the  fact  the  man  was  sitting  down.  At
that  moment,  Ben  would  have  given  anything  to
check  out  the  man’s  ass.  At  least  Danny  was
wearing  a  short-sleeved,  red  t-shirt,  so  Ben  got  a
good  look  at  his  biceps,  and  Ben  could  only
describe as lickable.

Glancing up, Danny gave Ben a smile so sexy

that  Ben  had  to  bite  back  a  groan  as  a  wave  of
desire  slammed  into  him.  Now  how  fucked  up
was  that?  Here  Ben  stood,  head  pounding,  hung
over  and  still  wearing  the  stink  from  the  day
before, but he was lusting over a virtual stranger.
If his friend Ricky ever found out about this, he’d
rib Ben for the rest of their lives.

“Hi?” Ben hedged, for lack of anything better to

say.

“Hey, how are you feeling this morning?”
“My head hurts, but after how much I drank

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last night, it’s not anything I don’t deserve.”

Danny stood and opened the fridge, as if he’d

been living at the place all his life. Taking out a
bottle of water, he passed it over. “Here, drink
this. You need to get rehydrated.”

Since Ben knew Danny was right, he took the

offering and sat down. Twisting off the cap, he
took a deep drink.

“You may want to take it easy until you see

how your stomach is going to be feeling,” Danny
advised.

“I never throw up the night after drinking. I just

get a massive headache.”

Cocking a brow, Danny asked, “So you drink a

lot?”

Realizing how bad his own comment had made

him sound, embarrassment flooded Ben. “No, I
hardly drink at all. In fact, I think I usually just go
home or hang out with my friends. I’ve only been
to Rocky’s twice in my entire life.”

“I know you’re not a regular there,” Danny

assured Ben.

“How?”
“Ever since the rash of gay bashings has been

going on, I’ve been making a habit of keeping an
eye on the place. I’ve never seen you there before.”
Giving Ben a heated once over, Danny added,
“Believe me, there is no way in hell I would have
missed seeing you.”

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A shiver went through Ben as he finally asked

the one question that had been nagging him the
most, “Where did you sleep last night?”

“On the couch.”
“Oh,” Ben replied, surprised at how much that

revelation disappointed him. “Is it because you
think I am…well, you know…a slut? Because I’m
not. I know you saw me hooking up last night, but
I usually don’t do that. I swear it. Not that I’m a
virgin or anything. I just don’t usually sleep with
just anybody…but you would be…”

Ben trailed off, clamping his lips shut as he

realized  he’d  been  rambling  on.  Something  he
never  usually  did.  For  once,  though,  he  couldn’t
help himself. He had the burning desire for Danny
to  know  that  Ben  wasn’t  some  kind  of  party  boy
who bed-hopped like a horny bunny on Viagra.

“I slept on the couch because I’m not the type to

take advantage of somebody,” Danny gently
informed him, then added, “but that doesn’t mean
that once you feel better I won’t take you in there
and fuck you into the mattress.”

Ben sputtered on the large drink of water he’d

just drank. Coughing a few times, he finally
managed to get out, “I feel much better. I
promise.”

Okay, maybe begging wasn’t the best way to

show off his un-sluttiness, but he wanted Danny—
badly. More so than any other guy Ben had ever

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met.

Danny smiled, then slid over a plate of toast.

“How about you eat, take a shower and then after
we go to the station, we can talk about coming
back here.”

“Go to the station?” Ben echoed as he grabbed a

piece of toast.

“Yeah, so you can fill out a report.”
Gut clenching with dread, Ben began to tear at

the bread. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.
I don’t remember much from last night so I won’t
be able to give that many details.”

Reaching across the table, Danny ran a gentle

finger over Ben’s injury. “They hurt you and they
should have to pay for that.”

“It was just one punch.”
“Had I not intervened it would have been much

worse and we both know that.”

Yeah, Ben did know. He’d been on duty the

night the last victim had been brought in. Not only
had  some  gay  bashers  beaten  the  man  within  an
inch  of  his  life,  but  the  unknown  assailants  had
also  done  other  things  to  the  patient  that  still
made  Ben  tremble. He’d  seen  a lot  of  sick  shit  in
his brief career as an ER RN, but that one was by
far the worst.

It wasn’t until a look of horror passed over

Danny’s face that Ben realized he’d said that all
aloud. Shoving a piece of the now shredded toast

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into his mouth, Ben averted his gaze.

“So you know more than anybody how

important it is that we stop them. You don’t want
to see another innocent victim come into your ER,
do you?” Danny pushed.

“It’s not cool to play the guilt card on me,” Ben

mumbled.

Danny laughed. “It’s a trick I picked up from

my Catholic grandmother.”

“She taught you well.”
“Does that mean you’ll come down to the

station with me?”

Ben let out a sigh. “Fine, I’ll go take a shower

and be ready in about ten minutes.”

Getting up too quickly, Ben muttered a curse as

the  movement  jostled  his  head.  It  felt  as  if  his
brain  was  one  big  bruise  and  his  skull  was  the
Thunderdome or something.

Making his way to his bathroom, he stripped

and  stepped  inside  the  shower,  letting  the  hot
water  beat  on  the  back  of  his  neck.  It  helped  the
pain some so he was able to clean up and get into
some  fresh  clothes.  It  was  only  then  that  he
allowed himself to look in the mirror.

He cringed when he saw the ugly, vivid purple

bruise marring his right cheekbone. Shit, he had to
work  tomorrow  and  there  was  no  way  he  could
hide  this.  With  the  rest  of  the  staff,  he  would  be
able  to  brush  off  the  comments  by  making  some

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smartass  remark  about  being  in  a  ninja fight,  but
his  buddy  Ricky  was  sure  to  push  for  the  truth
and  he  would  give  Ben  hell  when  he  found  out
what happened. Rightly so, since if the roles were
reversed  Ben  would  do  the  same  thing  to  Ricky.
They’d been looking out for each other since they
were kids and old habits die hard.

Worse yet though, his grandfather was sure to

see  it  and  he  was  going  to  have  some  snide
comment  about  it.  Yippy!  Ben  couldn’t  wait  for
that moment. It would be more fun than spending
a  day  in  the  dentist’s  chair  getting  a  mouthful  of
root canals.

He quickly combed his wet hair into some

semblance  of  a  style,  wondering  how  in  the  hell
Danny  still  managed  to  look  better,  even  after
staying  up  all  night  and  looking  after  some  poor
sap who couldn’t defend himself.

Ben speculated how Danny had managed to

sleep  on  the  tiny  couch.  While  there  was  a  spare
room,  there  hadn’t  been  a  bed  in  it  since  Ricky
moved  out  and  Ben  knew  from  personal
experience the couch wasn’t the most comfortable
thing to sleep on.

Going out, he peeked into the living room and

was  somewhat  relieved  when  he  noted  his  extra
pillow  and  blanket  on  the  living  room  floor.  At
least  Danny  had  managed  to  find  those  items  in
Ben’s  mess  of  an  apartment.  Somehow,  that

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revelation  disappointed  Ben  a  bit  as  he  found
himself wishing that Danny had slept in the same
bed  as  him.  Even  though  he’d  been  out  of  it,  he
would  have  relished  spending  the  night  in
Danny’s arms.

Then again, Danny did promise that they

would fuck, but that didn’t guarantee that they’d
actually  spend  the  night  together.  While  Danny
seemed  nice  enough,  that  didn’t  mean  he  would
be  a  cuddler.  Come  to  think  of it, Ben  had  yet  to
meet  a  guy  who  was,  and  how  depressing  was
that?

“Are you ready?” Danny asked.
He handed Ben another bottle of water and a

couple  of  Tylenol,  both  of  which  Ben  took
gratefully.  Taking  them,  he  then  asked,  “On  the
way back can we get my car? It’s not the best area
in  town  and  I  would  hate  for  it  to  get  stolen.  It
may  not  be  the  most  expensive  vehicle,  but  I  do
need it to get to work and stuff.”

When Danny just looked at him, Ben felt his

face grow warm. “Or, if you don’t have time to be
bothered, I’m sure you could ask one of your
police buddies to take me. Or, better yet, I could
just take a cab. After all, it was my fault I was too
ass-over-end drunk to drive in the first place.”

Reaching out, Danny gently cupped Ben’s

injured cheek. “I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry.”

Wow, when he said it that way, Ben was

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tempted to think that Danny meant for more than
a ride home. Just as quickly, however, reality came
crashing  down  on  him  and  Ben  realized  that  he
wasn’t  the  type  who  was  meant  to  have  a  long
term  relationship.  If  his  family  situation  didn’t
scare guys away, Ben’s shifts in moods usually did
the trick.

While Ben always tried his best to remain

upbeat,  sooner  or  later  his  issues  caught  up  with
him  and  he  ended  up  doing  something—like
going alone to a dive of a bar like Rocky’s.

Before, Ricky had been around to stop Ben from

acting out. Now, Ricky was gone and happy in a
relationship while Ben remained alone and as
depressed as ever.

Fanning his thumb ever so softly over Ben’s

cheek, Danny asked, “What are you thinking of?”

Of how I wish I wasn’t so fucked up. That I would

give anything to have just a piece of the happiness
Ricky has with his boyfriend, Of how I wish I could be

somebody else. A person who didn’t always end up

disappointing everybody.

Since Ben couldn’t very well say any of those

things aloud, he just cleared his throat and forced
a smile on his face. “Nothing important. I guess
we should get going. You probably have to work
later on or something.”

Leaning down, Danny briefly brushed their

mouths together. “No, I have the whole day off.
And if you let me, I plan on spending every

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moment of it with you.”

Lips tingling from the kiss, Ben gave a genuine

grin. “That would be great. I don’t have to work
either so we can have all day to be together.”

Ben planned on relishing every moment of it,

too, because past experience told him that was all
he’d ever get. Funny thing was, before now, that
thought hadn’t hurt as much.

Even though they’d just met, Ben could see

himself falling hard for Danny, which would only
result in Ben having a broken heart. He knew that
he should cut things off before he became more
attached. Instead, he found himself reaching out to
take Danny’s hand. “Come on, let’s get this police
crap over, so we can get to the good stuff.”

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Chapter Four

s soon as they walked into the precinct
headquarters, Ben’s eyes grew large and his

breathing became so rapid that Danny thought the
guy was going to turn tail and rabbit.

Hoping to soothe him, Danny reached and gave

Ben’s hand a brief squeeze. “Hey, it’s going to be
okay.”

“I just think this is a big waste of time. Nobody

is going to care about what happened outside
some gay bar.”

“Hey, that’s not true. I care,” Danny argued.
Ben gave him a duh look. “Yeah, but you’re the

only one.”

“You’d be surprised to find that there are a few

of us who actually give a damn.”

When Ben’s expression screamed he didn’t

believe that claim, Danny conceded, “Okay,
maybe there are only a couple of us who truly
understand.”

A light of understanding flickered in Ben’s

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eyes, saying that he’d picked up on Danny’s
unspoken message. Ben’s stance even relaxed a bit
and he stopped eyeing the place as if the room
was full of snakes.

“Sorry, my family doesn’t trust police and, even

though I grew up here, I sometimes still pick up
on that vibe,” Ben admitted.

“Where is your family from?”
“North Korea.”
Well, that explained a lot. Had Danny lived in

that kind of environment, he’d be a little leery of
law enforcement, too.

“My mom and grandmother were able to

escape the country, but my grandfather spent a
few years in a detention camp before he was able
to get away,” Ben further explained.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t uncommon for

immigrant families to feel wary of local
government and police. It wasn’t just people from
North Korea either, but several other countries as
well.

Great, no wonder Ben was so against coming in.

Not only did he have to worry about being looked
down on because he was gay, but he’d been raised
not  to  trust  authorities.  It  didn’t  matter  that  Ben
grew  up  in  America  either,  not  when  he’d  been
taught  all  his  life  to  be  distrustful  of  outsiders.  It
probably  helped  some  that  Ben’s  father  was
American,  but  it  was  pretty  obvious,  given  his

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reaction to the station, that his mother’s influence
had still been strong.

Taking a deep breath, Ben asked, “So, will you

be taking my statement?”

“No, I was going to have my friend Charlie do

it.”

When a brief flicker of panic passed Ben’s eyes,

Danny hastened to add, “He’s a really close friend
of mine and he knows Rocky’s pretty well.”

Ben let out an audible sigh of relief. “Okay, let’s

get this over with so you can take me out to
lunch.”

Danny let out a short laugh. “I’m taking you

out to lunch?”

“Yeah, and it’s going to be someplace nice. If I

see one cartoon clown or paper crown hat at the
restaurant, I’m kicking your ass.”

Waving Charlie over, Danny gave another

chuckle. “You drive a hard bargain, but I think I
can accommodate you this time.”

Charlie weaved his way through the slew of

desks  dotting  the  busy  room,  a  huge,  knowing
grin  on  his  face.  With  blond  hair  that  was  never
out of place, piercing green eyes and a slim build,
he  was  good  looking  and  he  knew  it.  The  thing
about Charlie though was he never acted arrogant
and  actually  had  a  good  head  on  his  shoulders,
which is why Danny didn’t mind that the two of
them were usually partnered together.

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“What do you have here?” Charlie asked, his

gaze covertly devouring Ben.

Not that Danny blamed Charlie. Even hung

over, Ben was damn sexy. That still didn’t stop a
spike of jealousy from hitting Danny. Ben was his
and he’d never been the type to share.

Ben was his? Now where in the hell had that

come from? Sure, they’d hit it off so far, but they’d
yet to even go on a real date. Why in the hell was
Danny feeling so possessive over the man?

Putting a hand on the small of Ben’s back,

Danny said, “This is Ben. He was attacked last
night outside of Rocky’s.”

Charlie’s eyes grew wide as he suddenly

became all business. “Shit, sorry about that, man.
Are you okay?”

Raising a hand to his bruised cheek, Ben said,

“Yeah, Danny came along and scared them off
before they could do too much damage.”

“Yeah, Danny loves to play hero. One year for

Christmas, I even got him a cape and a pair of
tights, but the buzzkill refuses to dress in them.”

Ben gave a small grin. “I guess they’re probably

not regulation wear for you guys.”

Charlie gave a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Rules were made to be bent every now and
again.”

“That’s what I keep telling my friend Ricky, but

he’s a stick in the mud, too,” Ben replied. “I’m

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always playing pranks at work and he nags at me
to be more serious.”

“He sounds a lot like this one here.” Charlie

hooked a thumb in Danny’s direction.

Danny knew he should take offense to Charlie’s

statement, but the banter seemed to be putting Ben
at ease so he let it go.

Ben’s smile grew larger. “One time, I scared one

of the new medics by making an intern crawl into
a body bag. When the medic came into the
morgue, the intern sat up and yelled boo!”

Charlie let out a whoop of laugher as he

pointed a finger at Ben. “You were the one who
did that? I heard the guy was so scared he pissed
in his pants.”

“I would have felt bad, but he kept coming and

grabbing the female nurse’s asses. He would
always act as if it was an accident, too. I decided to
teach him a lesson.”

“Did you get in trouble?” Danny asked.
Ben shook his head. “That was before my

grandfather started working at the hospital.”

That seemed like an odd comment, but Danny

let it slide. He had plenty of time to learn about
Ben and his family dynamics. Giving Ben a slight
nudge, Danny said, “Go with Charlie while I give
a report to the captain. Then we can go out to
lunch.”

Charlie cocked a brow at the last sentence, but

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otherwise, kept his yap shut. Danny knew he’d be
getting a call later on though. While Charlie
wasn’t a gossip, per se, he was nosey as hell when
it came to his friends’ personal lives.

Danny watched as Charlie ushered Ben over to

a desk. Then Danny went over and rapped his
knuckles on the captain’s door. An older man, he
wasn’t too bad to work under, it was just that he
sometimes had an outdated way of viewing things
and because of that, Danny wasn’t looking
forward to the conversation.

“Come in,” the captain barked.
Danny opened the door, the smell of musty

papers and Old Spice assaulting his nose. Taking in
shallow breaths so his eyes didn’t start watering,
Danny gave his superior officer a rundown of the
previous night’s events.

After he was finished, the captain sat back in

his chair and laced his fingers over his overly large
belly. A stain marked the man’s aging white dress
shirt and he had his thinning gray hair swept over
to the side in a desperate attempt to hide the fact
that he was balding.

“Are you going to tell me how you happened to

be there when the incident went down?” the
captain asked once Danny finished.

“I was just going for a walk,” Danny replied

innocently.

He wasn’t worried over the fact that he was

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admitting to be around a gay bar, since his sexual
orientation  was  a  well-known  fact,  but  Danny
knew that the captain would chew his ass out for
doing  some  off-duty  patrolling.  It  put  Danny  in
danger and the captain was a bit overprotective of
his  officers.  They  all  joked  it  was  because  of  the
hiring freeze the state had put on the city, but they
all  knew  otherwise.  While  he  could  be  gruff  as
hell, the man did care about his officers.

“Okay, maybe I was just checking things out,

but you know as well as I do, the higher-ups aren’t
going to okay us putting extra units in that area.
Not since they cut out all overtime in our budget
and our units are already being stretched too
thin.”

The captain ran a hand through his thin hair,

messing up the few strands. “I hate to admit it, but
you’re right. Until the newspapers and civic rights
groups start screaming loud enough, nobody is
going to get off their asses and do anything about
this.”

Danny arched a brow. “Now if I didn’t know

any better, I would swear that was a hint from you
that I should let something slip to the newspapers.
Saying something like this is a lot worse than they
are led to believe and that the city better do
something quick.”

Feigning a look of pure innocence, the captain

fanned his hands out. “I would never suggest such

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a thing.”

“You do know this could come back to bite you

in the ass.”

“I can take it. Plus, I’m only a year away from

retiring. Let them bring it on.”

Already, Danny’s mind was working out a

game plan. He had a good friend who worked at
the local LGBTQ center. He would set up an
appointment to talk to the guy first thing after
lunch.

“Are we finished here? I have Charlie getting a

report from the victim from last night and wanted
to check up on him,” Danny asked, his hand
already on the door handle.

“Why? Charlie can do his job just fine.”
Actually, it was Ben that Danny wanted to

check up on, but he decided not to correct the
captain. Instead, he just gave a wave and left the
room. He scanned the room, his gaze immediately
zeroing in on Ben.

Damn, what was is it about the guy that he had

managed to get under Danny’s skin so quickly.
There was no doubt that Danny had it bad for the
man. Just the humming sensation that went
through his body every time he gazed at Ben was
proof enough.

As Danny walked over, it took all he had not to

reach out and lightly caress Ben’s swollen cheek.
“How are things going?”

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Charlie glanced up from the paperwork laid out

on the cluttered desk. “We’re just finishing up.
Although things would go better if we could get a
hospital report.”

Ben shook his head. “I already told you, it’s not

necessary. I just took one punch. I wasn’t even
knocked unconscious or anything. Danny was just
being overprotective by insisting on staying over
at my place to watch over me.”

Of course Charlie had to latch on to that little

tidbit and the corner of his mouth kicked up into a
grin as he drawled, “So Danny and you had a
sleepover, did you?”

Before Danny could get a word out, Ben said,

“Yes, right after we braided each other’s hair and
got into a pillow fight, we made a homemade porn
video. If you’re nice, I’ll send you a copy.
Although it’s hard to recognize Danny under the
leather mask.”

Repressing the urge to laugh at the shocked

expression  on  Charlie’s  face,  Danny  gave  Ben’s
arm  a  tug.  “Come  on  and  let’s  get  out  of  here
before  E!  calls  and  offers  you  your  own  reality
show.  Everybody  knows  that’s  always  the  next
step after making an amateur skin flick.”

Ben stood. “Hmm…that explains all the calls

I’ve been getting from Ryan Seacrest.”

Charlie laughed. “I like this guy. If you ever

fuck things up and let him go, I may just have to

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snatch him up.”

Before he even realized it, a possessive growl

slipped past Danny’s lips. Ben and Charlie both
looked as surprised as Danny felt. Charlie even
went so far as to mouth, Well, okay then.

Nervously clearing his throat, Danny said,

“You ready for lunch?”

The smile Ben shot him was worth all the

embarrassment Danny’d just gone through.
“Yeah, now that my headache is gone, I’m
starving.”

Charlie frowned. “I still wish you’d at least go

get checked out. You could have a head injury.”

“I’m a nurse, remember?” Ben said. “I would

know if I needed to go to the doctors.”

Charlie groaned. “Damn it, medics and nurses

are the most stubborn when it comes to this shit.
My sister, Maddie, is the same way.”

Ben’s face lit up. “You mean Maddie from St.

Anthony’s ER?”

“Yeah.”
“We work together.”
“Ah, that makes sense. She’s always talking

about a gay co-worker of hers that is so sexy, it’s a
sin she can’t have a bite.”

“Aaaaannnd…on that note, we’re leaving,”

Danny announced, tugging on Ben’s arm again.

Ben waved goodbye and they walked outside,

bracing themselves against the cold Michigan

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winter.

“Damn it, it’s days like this that make me wish

I’d moved to Hawaii with my sister,” Ben bitched
as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“You have a sister?” Danny asked, wanting to

learn everything he could about the other man.

“Yeah, she’s a year younger than me and an

even bigger disappointment to my grandfather
because she had the audacity to go into
modeling.”

Danny couldn’t imagine having to live with a

relative like that. His own family had always been
so supportive, even when Danny had come out.
There were times where he’d gone through rough
patches in his life and he wouldn’t have made it
through without their support.

“What do your parents think of her career

choice?”

Ben smiled. “They’re very proud. Dad doesn’t

like how skimpy some of the bikinis are that she
wears, but otherwise, he can’t talk her up
enough.”

“And how about you? Are they supportive of

your career choice?”

“Oh, yeah. They are always bugging me to tell

them crazy stories from the ER and stuff.”

“Why do they let your grandfather treat you

the way he does?”

Ben paused mid-step and turned to Danny.

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“Dad hates it, but he does it for Mom’s sake. While
I  may  be  first  generation  American,  my  mother
still  holds  some  of  her  old  country’s  traditions
close  to  her  heart.  One  of  them  is,  you  always
respect  and  do  as  your  elders  wish.  I don’t  think
she  would  even  know  how  to  stand  up  to  my
grandfather  if  she  wanted  to.  It’s  just  not  in  her
makeup.  Besides,  I  make  sure  that  they  don’t
know  how  bad  it  really  is  between  me  and  my
grandfather.”

“So instead you put up with his abuse for her

sake. How is that fair for you?”

Ben shrugged and began walking again. “Who

said life is fair? Plus, we all make sacrifices for our
family. This is just mine. I’ve gotten used to it.”

Despite Ben’s words, the brief flicker of hurt

that went over his eyes were at odds to his claim.
Damned if it didn’t make Danny want to find a
way to make things better for the other man, too.

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Chapter Five

anting to live up to his promise, Danny took
Ben to one of the nicer Italian restaurants in

the area, compliments of Ben’s choice. As they
were being ushered to their seats, Ben cast a gaze
over the dark oak interior and expensive hanging
lamps over the tables. “I guess this will do.”

Smiling, Danny couldn’t resist the urge to reach

over and run his hand over Ben’s back, admiring
how even through the man’s shirt, he could feel
the perfect slope of the man’s spine. Damn, but
how he couldn’t wait to get Ben naked and under
him. He just hoped Ben was a quick eater.

Once they were seated, Ben didn’t even bother

to pick up the menu, leading Danny to ask, “Do
you come here often?”

Ben smirked. “Is that a pickup line or

something?”

Danny laughed when he realized he had indeed

used one of the lamest one-liners out there. “Not
to sound too cocky, but I think I already have

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you.”

“I don’t know. That cop who was sitting two

desks away from Charlie was pretty hot.”

Danny knew that was Hank, older than even

the  captain  and  so  rail  thin  he looked like  a  real-
life  version  of  Mr.  Burns  from  The  Simpsons.  He
knew  Ben  was  kidding  so  he  decided  to  play
along. “If you want, I can put in a good word for
you.  Although  I  heard  Hank  is  strictly  a  ladies
man.”

“Bummer, I guess I’ll have to settle for you.”

Ben gave Danny a look so simmering that it
practically melted the candles on the table.

“How about we get this food to go and we eat

at your place?” Danny suggested, his body
growing flush with arousal.

“I think that’s the best idea you had in a long

time.”

Danny grinned. “How can you be so certain of

that? We’ve only known each other a day.”

“I’m an expert at these kinds of things.”
The waitress came up, addressing Ben by name,

cementing Danny’s suspicions that the man was a
regular. They put in their orders to go, the
waitress giving Danny a wink before leaning
down to whisper something in Ben’s ear.

“What did she say?” Danny asked once she left.
“She told me that if I let you go, I’m in trouble

because she’ll lose the betting pool.” Ben rolled his

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eyes.

“I don’t follow.”
“It would seem they have a pool going on how

long it will be before I go on a date with a guy
more than once.”

Again, Danny felt the bitter taste of envy. “Do

you take a lot of guys here?”

“No, in fact you’re only the second, but one of

the cooks here is a friend and he loves to gossip. I
really just wish he would find a hobby to occupy
his time so he wouldn’t worry about our lives so
much.”

Danny laughed. “He sounds a bit like Charlie.

He’s always nagging me that I need a life outside
of the job.”

“He’s probably right. Not to sound negative,

but that station you work at was just so drab and
depressing.” Ben wrinkled his nose.

“Says the guy who works in the busiest ER in

the city,” Danny countered.

“Okay, you do have a point there. That’s one of

the reasons why I used to play practical jokes all
the time. The place can be a major downer at
times.”

“Why did you stop having fun then?”
“When my grandfather started working there, I

had to change my attitude so I didn’t have to deal
with him being pissed at me all the time. Not that
it helps much because I’m always managing to

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screw up as far as he’s concerned.”

“Have you tried talking to him? Telling him

how you feel?”

Ben gave him a droll look. “You don’t talk

things over with Grandfather. You just nod and do
as he says or else you get your ass handed to you.”

Angered on Ben’s behalf, Danny protested,

“That still doesn’t mean you should have to put
up with his abuse.”

“I can take it. No matter what, it doesn’t even

begin to compare to what he went through while
he kept as a prisoner in Korea.”

“That’s completely different. I don’t see how

you can even begin to compare the two things.”

Ben glanced up, his eyes slightly haunted. “But

it is. If he hadn’t helped my mother and
grandmother escape to America, then they may
have never put him in that prison in the first place.
He went through all that so his future generations
could have freedom and a chance to make it in the
world.”

“Does he ever talk about what happened to him

in prison?”

Ben fiddled with his fork. “No, but I’ve looked

stuff up on the internet so I know those prisons
aren’t exactly a picnic to live at. I don’t even want
to think about some of the things they probably
did to him before he was able to escape himself.”

“But now, he’s the perfect example of the

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American dream.”

Ben nodded. “Yeah, he finished his education

here and worked his ass off until he was one of the
most respected cardiologists in the state.”

“How do you think he ended up working at

your hospital?”

Ben shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe he

requested to go to St. Anthony’s so he can make
my life a living hell. He has never forgiven me for
going into nursing. He considers it settling instead
of pushing myself like a real man should.”

“Why did you decide to go into nursing?”
“I just like that field better. My grades were

good enough to get into almost any med school,
but nursing just felt right to me.”

Reaching across the table, Danny took Ben’s

hand. “Then you have nothing to be ashamed of.
It seems to me that you made the right choice. If
your grandfather can’t accept it, then it’s his
problem, not yours.”

Ben gave him a smile, but it didn’t quite reach

his  eyes.  After  that,  they  switched  to  small  talk
until  the  waitress  brought  out  their  bag  of  food.
When  Ben  tried  to  pay  for  it,  Danny  protested,
“Remember, this was supposed to be my treat.”

“Okay, but only if you let me pick up the tab

the next time.”

The next time. Danny liked the sound of those

words so he readily agreed.

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The drive back to Ben’s was blessedly short,

which was a good thing. Being in the closed
confines of the car and so close to Ben’s scent was
threatening to drive Danny insane with desire.

“What about my car? We should probably go

pick it up,” Ben hedged, no real conviction in his
voice.

“We’ll go right after we eat.”
Gazing up from under his lashes, Ben said,

“We’re not going to be just eating, are we?”

“God, I hope not.”
Danny had to resist the urge to rub at his own

cock just to relieve some of the pressure. It was so
hard that it was threatening to burst through his
fly. Then, Ben licked his lips, the sight of his pink
tongue so erotic Danny almost came on the spot.

“You know, come to think of it, I’m really not

that hungry yet. We should do something to work
up an appetite.”

They shared wicked grins before Danny parked

the  car  and  they  practically  ran  to  Ben’s
apartment. No sooner had Ben shut the door than
Danny  tossed  the  bag  of  food  on  a  nearby  table
and  moved  in.  Pinning  Ben  against  the  wall,  he
began to kiss him like a man starved.

Ben spread his legs out in a silent bid for Danny

to  get  in  closer  as  they  continued  to  kiss,  their
tongues  sliding  and  tangling  together  as  they
began to tug at snaps, buttons and zippers.

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Somehow, they managed to defy all logics of

physics  and  both  managed  to  get  naked  while
never  moving  more  than  a  few  inches  from  each
other. Breaking off yet another kiss, Danny ran his
hand  along  the  side  of  Ben’s  ass.  “I  can’t  wait  to
get inside this.”

“Who said you got to be top?”
“Don’t you remember the coin toss I won?”
Ben laughed. “You are such a crappy liar. But

I’ll still let you on top.” Leaning forward, Ben
nipped Danny’s bottom lip, then added, “This
time.”

“Do you have supplies?”
“Yeah, I am a nurse after all. Safety first,” Ben

said in a teasing voice.

Grabbing Ben’s hand, he led him to the

bedroom. Danny noticed, not for the first time all
the empty space and wondered if Ben missed
having his best friend around all the time. He
decided to save that conversation for later..

All he wanted to think about now was how

beautiful  Ben  looked,  the  way  the  midday  sun
filtered  through  the  window  and  made  his  skin
look  almost  golden  to  the  way  his  cock  looked
good enough to eat and then some.

Getting to the bedroom, Ben paused at his

dresser long enough to pull out a strip of condoms
and a bottle of lube. Tossing them onto the
mattress, Ben crawled onto the bed, settled on his

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back, then crooked a finger at Danny.

“What are you waiting for? A search warrant or

something?”

The joke was so bad that Danny couldn’t help

but laugh at it. He loved how he never knew what
to expect next with Ben. There was never a dull
moment when that man was by his side.

Climbing up the bed, Danny ran a hand up

Ben’s leg, going up his thigh, but stopping just
short of his cock. “I suppose you want me to tell
you to spread them so I can frisk you and do a full-
body search.”

Arching up a bit, Ben gave him a grin that

could only be called naughty. “I think that sounds
like a ton of fun.”

“You really need to cut back on the prison-

themed porn.” Danny ran his thumb over the tip
of Ben’s cock, earning a hiss of pleasure.

“So I guess this means the handcuffs are out of

the question then?” Ben moaned, his voice
hitching just a bit.

Wrapping his hand around Ben’s shaft, Danny

began to deliver slow, lazy strokes. “Now, I never
said that. I happen to like handcuffs, a lot.”

“Hell, yeah. I knew you were my dream guy

come true.”

Since that was one of the best compliments

Danny received, he thought it deserved a reward.
Dipping his head down, he ran his tongue up the

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length of Ben’s cock, pausing at the end to twirl a
path along the head. Now it was Danny who
groaned as the salty taste of pre-cum bathed his
taste buds.

“Yummy,” Danny proclaimed going in for

another taste.

Ben let out a snort of laughter. “I’ve been called

a lot of things in my life, but yummy has never
been one of them. It sounds like something a
Teletubby would say.”

Danny paused and looked up at Ben. “If it

offends you so much, I could stop.”

Ben shook his head so fast it was almost as

comical as the insane conversation they were
having. “No, in fact, I think that’s my new favorite
word.”

Torn between laughing at Ben’s antics and

wanting another taste, Danny opted for the later,
this time parting his lips so he could suck in the
entire length of Ben’s cock.

“Fuck, that feels good!” Ben yelled as he arched

up.

Had Danny not had his mouth full, he would

have given Ben some of his snark back by replying
that was the whole point of a blow job. Instead, he
just  decided  to  shut  the  guy  up  another  way,  by
making  him  so  mad  with  lust  that  he  was
incapable of speech.

Using every technique he had in his inventory

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and  then  some  he  made  up  on  the  fly,  Danny
brought Ben to the edge several times, only to pull
back  each  time  at  the  last  moment.  Just  as  he
sensed Ben’s frustration was reaching the breaking
point,  Danny  blindly  reached  out  until  his  found
the bottle of lube.

Grabbing it, he pulled away long enough to

squeeze a generous amount of liquid on his finger
before he started sucking Ben off again. At the
same time, Danny slowly inserted one finger into
Ben’s tight hole.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Danny gasped between

licks and sucks.

“I told you I wasn’t a slut. It’s been a long time

for me.”

Then, Danny would just have to take things

slow. He wanted their first time to be perfect. He
worked the finger in and out several times before
gradually introducing another one, the entire time
he continued to worship Ben’s cock.

One thing was for certain, Ben didn’t have any

more  smartass  comments  to  deliver.  That  was
unless,  please,  fuck  me  or  need  it  now,  counted.
When  Danny  finally  thrust  in  a  third  finger,  Ben
nearly  came  off  the  bed.  Arching,  he  let  out
stuttering  plea,  “Got….got  to  have…have  you
inside me now. Don’t want to come too early.”

Pulling way, Danny quickly got the condom on

and added even more lube. While it was sure to

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make a mess on Ben’s sheets, the man would
thank him when he wasn’t overly sore the next
day.

Ben draped his legs over Danny’s shoulders,

offering himself up, the motion sending a primal
thrill of ownership through Danny. Lining up the
tip of his cock, he eased his way passed the tight
ring of muscles.

Ben let out a gasp, his eyes growing wide, but

soon relaxed, a moan slipping past his lips. Unable
to resist the temptation, Danny leaned down to
sample that sweet mouth, a jolt of pleasure going
through him when Ben eagerly returned it, his
tongue sliding into Danny’s mouth.

That splintered all of Danny’s good intentions

to take things slow and he began to hammer into
Ben, the man’s body gripping Danny’s cock like a
tight fist. At that point, he basically had Ben bent
in  half,  but  the  man  didn’t  complain.  Quite  the
opposite.  He  tightened  his  grip  on  Danny’s
shoulders  and  let  out  sharp  cries  of  pleasure,
urging him on.

Ben’s cock slapped between them, and Danny

grabbed it, stroking it in time with his thrusts. At
the same moment, he leaned down and captured
Ben’s lips in a heated kiss.

Ben let out a muffled scream, his body

twitching just a bit before hot cum shot from his
cock and covered Danny’s hand. Knowing that he

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took care of Ben, Danny finally allowed himself to
find his own pleasure. Thrusting into Ben one last
time, Danny groaned his own release, filling the
condom as he whispered Ben’s name.

Collapsing on top of Ben, Danny barely got his

breath back before his lover began laughing.
Going up on one elbow, Danny cocked a brow.
“What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking of the mess we made. I

don’t think I’m ever going to get these sheets
clean.”

Brushing away Ben’s hair, Danny pressed a kiss

to the man’s sweaty brow. “I wouldn’t worry
about that just yet. Once we’ve had a shower and
eaten, I only plan on getting them dirty again.”

Ben gave him a crooked smile. “Do I get to top

next time?”

“Only if you’re good and we both know that’s

never going to happen.”

Getting up, Danny barely dodged the pillow

Ben playfully threw his way. It was looking to be
one of the best days off Danny had in a long time.

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Chapter Six

’d know that smile anywhere—you got lucky
last night,” Ricky declared as he approached

Ben in the cafeteria and took a seat on the opposite
side.

As always, Ben did a quick mental inventory of

Ricky’s  tray  to  make  sure  he  was  eating  right.
Ricky  was  diabetic  and  was  so  often  too  worried
about  caring  for  others  to  worry  about  his  own
health.

Ricky rolled his eyes. “Tanner made me call

him and list everything I’m eating so you can stop
worrying.”

“Sorry, I’ve been doing it for so long it just

comes natural for me,” Ben replied.

“And don’t think I haven’t noticed you didn’t

answer my earlier question. Did you get lucky?”

Ben smiled as he absently stabbed his fork into

a plate of overly mushy spaghetti. “No, better. I
got lucky all day yesterday. I don’t think I’ve
fucked that much in such a short amount of time

“I

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since my college years.”

“Does this guy have a name and do you still

like him. Or was it a one-time thing?”

“His name is Danny and I hope it’s more than a

one night stand.”

“Does he like you back?”
Ben shrugged, feeling a bit self-conscious. “He

said he does.”

Ricky studied him closely. “Then why are you

so hesitant to believe it?”

Damn it! That was one bad thing about having

a best friend like Ricky. They always seemed to
know how you were thinking.

“I don’t know. He’s just really hot and I’m just

some nurse who’s never had a serious relationship
in his life. Part of me wonders what in hell he
could want from me.”

Ricky’s eyes grew sharp with anger. “You are

not just some nurse. Hell, you have been there for
both  my  family  and  me  so  many  times,  I  lost
count.  Plus,  you’re  one  of  the  best  nurses  in  this
hospital.  I’m  not  the  only  one  who  thinks  that
either. Everybody says so.”

When Ben just shrugged again, Ricky prodded,

“Does that bruise on your face have anything to
do with how you met this guy?”

Even though he knew he would have his ass

handed to him, Ben told Ricky the story about
what happened at the bar and how Danny came to

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his rescue. When he finished, Ricky was a deathly
shade of white.

“How could you be so stupid? You could have

been really hurt,” Ricky admonished him.

“I know.”
“I was there when they brought the last guy in.

I  remember  how  bad  he  was  and  some  of  the
things  those  thugs  did  to  him.”  Ricky  took  in  a
shuddering breath.  “I don’t think I could stand it
if the same thing had happened to you.”

Stunned, Ben realized Ricky was more upset

than angry. Reaching across the table, he took his
friend’s hand. “But that didn’t happen to me. I was
lucky when Danny intervened.”

“Promise me you’ll never take a chance like that

again. I don’t want you to end up like that patient,
or Forrest.”

Forrest was a medic and mutual friend of

theirs.  While  still  working  in  Flint,  the  man  had
been  a  victim  of  a  horrific  gay  bashing  that  had
nearly  killed  him.  Ben  cursed  himself  for  his
selfishness. If not for Danny, he could have ended
up  as  another  statistic  and  Ricky  would  have
never  forgiven  himself  for  not  being  there  when
his  friend  needed  him.  Never  mind  the  fact  that
Ben had made the choice to go off to the seedy bar
on  his  own.  Ricky  had  this  complex  about  him
where  he  thought  that  he  had  to  care  for
everybody. If somebody under his watch got hurt,

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he blamed himself, even if there was nothing he
could have done to stop it. It was something that
both aggravated Ben yet made him care for his
buddy all the more.

“You need to eat,” Ben ordered gruffly, eager to

change the subject.

“And you need to stop thinking life is just one

big joke,” Ricky retorted, but he did pick up an
apple and take a huge bite.

They’d just finished their lunch when the alarm

went over the loudspeaker followed by the robotic
feminine voice alerting them that a Trauma,
priority one was on its way into the ER. Since both
Ricky and Ben were a part of that team, they
rushed to the ER.

They got there and barely had time to glove up

before  the  medics  came  rushing  through  the
doors,  a  cot  with  a  thin  male  patient  on  it.  Ben
inwardly  cringed  as  he  saw  all  the  damage  to  a
guy  who  appeared  to  be  in  his  early  twenties.
There  was  so  much  blood,  it  was  impossible  to
even tell what color his hair was.

Ben quickly shut down his emotions and stored

them away for later as he shifted into work mode.
Moving  quickly  and  efficiently,  he  and  the  team
moved the patient off the cot, cut away his clothes
and  began  to  assess  his  injuries.  As  the  doctor
yelled out each cut, gash, abrasion, contusion, and
blunt  force  injury,  Ben’s  hopes  for  the  patient’s

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survival  dimmed.  He  still  kept  working,  starting
two  large-bore  IV’s  and  drawing  blood  so  they
could cross and type for transfusion.

“Does anybody know the victim’s name?” a

familiar voice called.

Ben glanced up, his heart stuttering when he

spotted  Danny  and  Charlie  in  the  room.  If  they
were there, that could only mean this was another
gay bashing. Ben’s knees briefly went weak as he
realized  had  it  not  been  for  sheer  dumb  luck,  it
could  have  been  him  on  the  bed  instead  of  the
poor kid.

Not wanting to further contaminate any

evidence, Ben handed over the bag containing the
patient’s clothes. “We haven’t got a name yet, but
he may have ID in his wallet.”

Danny nodded his thanks as he took the bag.

Turning back to the patient, Ben helped Ricky get
a series of X-rays and then set about cleaning out
the wounds as best he could.

“What are his chances?” Danny asked the ER

doc.

“Right now, I’d say fifty-fifty. We’ll know more

if he makes it out of OR. I’m pretty sure his spleen
has been ruptured, but I won’t know what other
internal injuries he has until they open him up.”

Ben helped stabilize the patient the best he

could before the OR staff came down and took
over, whisking the patient away. Only then did

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Ben pause. Peeling off his now bloodied gloves, he
tossed  them  in  a  nearby  garbage  can  as  he
surveyed  the  mess  of  dirty  bandages,  tape  and
other  medical  equipment  littering  the  ground  of
Trauma Bay One.

Most everybody rushed off to their other duties,

but Ben remained, his gaze fixated on the ground.
It wasn’t until Danny came up and touched him
on the arm that Ben realized they were the only
two left in the room.

“Hey, look at that. I got stuck on cleanup duty

again,” Ben tried to tease, but his voice cracked.

“Are you okay?” Danny asked.
Instead of answering him, Ben asked a question

of his own. “Was he attacked outside of Rocky’s?”

“Yeah.”
“Do you think it was the same guys who

jumped me?”

“We’re not sure.”
“But it probably is, isn’t it?” Ben pressed.
Danny hesitated for a moment before replying.

“Yeah, it most likely is.”

“Damn it!” Ben yelled. “If I hadn’t been a

jackass and so drunk I would have been able to
describe them to you and you guys might have
caught them before they hurt that kid tonight.”

Ben buried his face in his hands as all his

grandfather’s comments came back to haunt
him—failure, useless, less of a man, no good, a shame

Fubar

to the family…

Putting his arms around Ben, Danny pulled

him into an embrace. “It’s not your fault.”

Even though Ben knew it was risky to engage in

public  displays  of  affection  at  work,  he  found
himself  sinking  into  the  comfort  of  Danny’s
embrace.  “I  just  wish  that  I  could  have  done
something to stop them before this happened.”

“You and me both.”
Ben took the risk up another notch, wrapping

his arms around Danny’s waist. The feeling of the
other man’s body felt so good that it helped soothe
some of the emotions swirling through him.

Danny was only an inch taller so Ben barely

had to tilt his head up to look the other man in the
eyes. “Don’t think I haven’t forgot that dinner I
owe you.”

“We both work the next couple of days and

since we are on the night shift, that’s going to be
tough,” Danny replied.

Ben became aware of how close their lips were.

Just  a  couple  of  inches  more  and  they  could  be
kissing. Still, even in the emotional state Ben was,
he  knew  that  would  be  pushing  things  too  far.
After  all,  they  were  both  on  duty.  It  was  damn
tempting though.

“How about I take you out for breakfast

instead? I get off at 7:30,” Ben offered.

The smile Danny gave him made Ben feel

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whole for the first time since the patient had been
wheeled in. “I’ll pick you up here.”

“Yeah, my car will be safer here than it was at

Rocky’s,” Ben teased, although when he had
eventually gone back for his ride, it had all been in
one piece.

“What is going on here?” an angry voice burst

through their private moment.

Ben’s heart seized with dread as he recognized

it as his grandfather. Jumping away from Danny,
Ben turned to face the older man. He stood just in
the doorway of the trauma room, an angry glint in
his dark eyes.

“Nothing, Dr. Lee,” Ben rushed out, desperate

to defuse the situation.

It was bad enough that his grandfather already

despised  him.  If  the  doctor  found  out  his
disappointment  of  a  grandson  was  also  gay,  it
would  put  the  final  nail  in  the  coffin  of  their
relationship.

Dr. Lee’s face turned red as he took in a deep

breath  and  Ben  steeled  himself,  knowing  he  was
about  to  get  the  dressing  down  of  his  lifetime.
What’s  worse,  Danny  was  going  to  be  witness  to
it, which made Ben almost sick with shame. While
he  may  have  just  met  the  cop,  he  already  cared
enough  about  the  guy  to  not  want  to  be
humiliated in front of him.

“I’ve known all along that you weren’t a true

Fubar

man. Now I just have proof of it,” Dr. Lee seethed.
“Years ago when I realized you were gay, I should
have cut off ties with you and your mother. I had
just hoped that you’d see the error of your ways
and change your mind.”

Ben took a step back, the words so harsh and

stunning, they felt like a punch to the gut. “You
knew I was gay? All this time and you never said
anything?”

Giving Ben a look of pure disgust, Dr. Lee spat,

“Like I said, I had continued to hold on to hope
that you would come to your senses and change
that yourself.”

Hurt, Ben shook his head. “I can’t change the

fact that I’m gay. It’s just who I am.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” Ricky

said as he entered the room.

Great, just what Ben needed, another person to

witness his humiliation. While Ben appreciated his
best friend’s support, he still wished that
everybody would just leave so his grandfather
could verbally rip him apart in private.

Dr. Lee turned his venom on Ricky. “You were

always a bad influence on him. You probably
lured him to be this way.”

Ricky gave the man a droll look. “Of course I

did. Didn’t you know for every ten guys I recruit, I
get a free cup of coffee?”

Ben sputtered as he gave his friend an

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incredulous  look.  Now,  Ricky  decided  to  play
smartass.  While  Ben  was  usually  the  first  in  line
for  snappy  comebacks  and  jokes,  even  he  knew
this wasn’t the time for it.

Dr. Lee glared at Danny. “And who is this?”
Danny held out his hand, “I’m Detective

Hernandez. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I heard so
many nice things about you.”

Ben almost choked as he heard the sarcasm in

Danny’s tone. Then he glanced over at Danny and
saw  how  angry  the  man  looked—no,  better  yet,
Danny  looked  ready  to  spit  nails.  His  eyes  were
stormy  with  rage,  his  jaw  clenched  together tight
and his muscles were so tense, it was wonder they
didn’t  pop.  He  directed  that  anger  at  Ben’s
grandfather, too.

The doctor looked at Danny’s hand as if it was a

snake. “You are forbidden from seeing my
grandson anymore.”

Ben froze, shock coursing through his body.

“What did you just say?”

“I don’t want you associating with either of

these men any longer. They are a bad influence on
you.”

“You have no right to tell me who I can and

can’t see. I’m a grown man.”

“If you’re a man, you need to start acting like

one.”

Those words finally made something click in

Fubar

Ben’s  head.  Yes,  his  grandfather  may  have  made
great sacrifices for the family. Yes, Ben may have
been  raised  to  never  question  his  elders.  Yes,  his
grandfather may be respected in the medical field.
However,  none  of  that  gave  the  man  the  right  to
treat Ben the way he had been doing.

Digging in deep, Ben did something he’d never

dreamed of doing before. He stood up to the man.
“I am a man and I’ll be damned if you tell me how
I’m going to live my life. I’m done with you
treating me like dirt. I may not have turned out
the way you wanted, but that still doesn’t mean I
deserve your disdain. If you don’t like who I am,
that’s your problem—not mine.”

As soon as that last sentence slipped past Ben’s

lips, he realized just how true those words were. It
wasn’t his problem or his fault, because he’d done
nothing wrong. He had nothing to be ashamed of.
He’d worked hard to get through nursing school
and just as hard to hone his skills once he was in
the field so his grandfather had no right to act as if
it were nothing.

A hand touched him in the small of the back,

and  even  without  turning  around,  Ben  knew  it
was  Danny.  It  sent  a  warm  feeling  through  him.
Just  how  much  better  could  this  guy  get.  In  the
short  time  they’d  known  each  other,  he’d  saved
Ben’s  life, given  him  the  strength  to  stand  up  for
himself  and  even  stood  by  his  side  while  facing

Fubar

Chapter Seven

n the ensuing five weeks, Ben kept waiting for
the other proverbial shoe to drop and for his

grandfather to come after him. Surprisingly
though, things had been very quiet.

Even better, or worse, depending on how one

looked at it, Dr. Lee treated Ben as if he were
nothing more than another staff member. While he
no longer made a point to berate and belittle Ben,
the guy acted as if they were virtual strangers.

Sad thing was, Ben didn’t know what was

worse. Sure, his grandfather had been a jerk, but at
least  he’d  acknowledged  Ben  was  his.  Now  it
seemed  as  if  the  elderly  man  had  a  closer
relationship  with  Lenny  the  janitor  than  with  his
own blood kin.

That still didn’t mean that Ben wanted to take

back what he’d said that day. It’d been long
overdue for him to stand up for himself. Thanks to
the urging of Ricky and Danny, Ben finally had
found the courage to do that.

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Another thing that was good was due to Danny

leaking  the  information  about  the  gay  bashings
out  to  the  local  media,  the  city  stepped  in  and
upped  the  number  of  patrol  cars  at  night.  While
Ben  knew  Danny  was  frustrated  that  they  hadn’t
caught  the  guys  who  were  responsible  for  the
crimes, more tips were coming in each day and it
was only a matter of time before they arrested the
bastards.

Just thinking of Danny brought a smile to Ben’s

face. He and Danny had been seeing each other for
more  than  a  month  now  and  things  had  never
been  better.  Now,  Ben  understood  why  Ricky
always  had  a  goofy grin  on  his  face.  It  felt damn
good  to  be  in  a  committed  relationship  and  to
have somebody to look forward to seeing.

“I know that look anywhere. You’re thinking

about Danny,” Maddie said as she came over to
the nurses’s station and plopped down a file.

“What makes you say that,” Ben countered, not

outright denying the accusation.

“You always get that goofy expression on your

face whenever he’s around.” Leaning in, she said
in a loud stage whisper, “Don’t feel bad though.
Charlie tells me that Danny gets the same look
whenever he thinks about you.”

“Does he really?” Ben couldn’t resist asking.
She nodded. “So things are getting serious

then?”

Fubar

“Yeah, the other day he asked me why I still

had so much open space in my apartment and
hadn’t filled it yet. Danny suggested that maybe it
was time for me to look for a new roommate.”

Maddie’s eyes grew wide. “Did you tell him

hell yeah and to get his stuff moved in ASAP?”

Ben nipped at his bottom lip. “You don’t think

it’s too soon? We’ve only been dating for five
weeks.”

“Do you care about him?”
“Yeah, a lot.”
“Then what’s the hold-up? My parents got

married two days after they met and they’ve been
happy ever since.”

“Maybe, but that’s a rare case.”
Maddie reached over and tweaked his nose.

“For somebody who jokes around all the time, you
sure do have a dim view on your own life
sometimes.”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Ben exclaimed
Taking out a hideous looking clown doll, he

handed  it  to  a  patient  who  was  being  rolled  into
radiology.  “Remember,  you  need  to  do  this  just
like  we  talked  about—just  when  Ricky’s  least
expecting it, hand this to him.”

The patient, an elderly homeless man who was

a frequent flyer, gave a thumbs-up as he shot Ben
a toothless grin.

Maddie narrowed her eyes. “Let me guess,

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Ricky hates clowns.”

“He’s terrified of them. Always has been since

we were kids and watched Poltergeist.”

Rolling her eyes, Maddie sighed. “I don’t know

why he puts up with you.”

“Same reason you do. I’m just so darn

adorable.”

They waited, and about five minutes later, the

sound of a sharp yell shot through the quiet of the
nearly deserted ER. “Damn it, Ben. You are so
dead for this one!”

Maddie’s lips quivered before she broke out

laughing. “Okay, even I have to admit that was a
good one.”

The Trauma code sounded, breaking up the

silence  and  peace.  Ben  immediately  went  into
action, leaving Maddie behind  to take care of the
other  patients.  Ricky  came  into  the  trauma  room
seconds  after  Ben,  throwing  the  offending doll  at
him.

“You really suck sometimes,” Ricky snapped,

but there was no real anger behind his eyes.

The head doctor came running in. “We need to

be on high alert. We have two casualties coming in
and they’re both Pontiac police officers.”

Ben’s knees buckled as his breath caught in his

throat. “Do we know who they are?”

The doctor shook his head. “All I’ve been able

to get was that there was shooting and the cops

Fubar

were hit, but both suspects are DOA.”

“Where did it happen?”
“Some bar in the downtown area.”
As soon as Ben heard those words, he knew

Danny had been involved. He let out a small
sound of distress, having to grab a nearby sink for
support.

The doctor paused and shot him a curious

glance. “Is there a problem?”

Ricky came up and put an arm around Ben’s

shoulders, then explained, “His boyfriend is on
the force and he’s on duty tonight.”

A collective gasp filled the room. Not because

Ricky mentioned that Ben had a boyfriend, that
was common knowledge, but out of sympathy.
The doctor gave Ben a compassionate look before
barking, “Get another nurse in here.”

Ben shook his head. “I can handle it. We don’t

even know if it’s Danny.”

“We’ll have them here just in case. If it does

turn out to be your boyfriend, you’re not going to
be in any condition to treat him.”

Ben wanted to argue that, but realized the doc

had  a  point,  so  instead,  he  stood  back  and
waited—for what seemed like forever. Which was
kind of funny since usually the traumas seemed to
always  come  in  too  quick.  Now  that  Ben  was
desperate  to  find  out  if  it  was  indeed Danny,  the
seconds seemed to crawl by.

Stephani Hecht

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the

bay doors burst open and a pair of medics came
through, pushing a cot between them. Ben glanced
down, his heart shattering as his worst fears were
confirmed.

Not only was Danny lying on the cot, but he

was covered in so much damn blood it was a
miracle he was still alive. His skin had taken on a
chalky appearance that showed he’d gone into
shock and he was unconscious.

“No!” Ben cried.
He surged forward, only to have Ricky grab

him and hold him back. It was only then that Ben
realized they’d brought in another radiology tech
to take over Ricky’s duties so he could be there for
Ben.

Ben stood there hopeless as he watched the

familiar dance of a trauma code taking place. Only
this time, it was different because it involved
somebody he cared so much for.

“Shit, he’s losing blood too fast.”
“We have a gunshot to the chest and there is no

exit wound.”

“We have some arrhythmias on the monitor.

Get cardiology in here.”

“Stand back so I can shoot this X-ray.”
“Start another line. Type and cross. We need to

get some blood into him fast.”

“Tell them they can have some of mine, I’m O

Fubar

negative,” Ben offered blandly.

“You know they won’t take your blood,” Ricky

reminded him gently.

Oh yeah, because even though Ben had the

most sought after blood since his type made him a
universal donor, they still refused him because he
was gay.

“Fuck that,” Ben snarled. “If I have to, I’ll

connect a direct line from my vein to him myself.”

“It’s okay, we have plenty in stock,” one of the

nurses soothed.

Dimly, Ben was aware of Maddie crying in the

hallway. It was only then that he realized who the
other cop must be. “Is Charlie okay?”

One of the doctors nodded. “He took a shot to

the backside. It was just a flesh wound. He’ll be
fine.”

Another doc held up the X-ray, a curse slipping

past his lips. “Get a rush on cardiology.”

Alarm shot through Ben and he asked, “What’s

going on?”

“The bullet is lodged right next to this left

ventricle. While it doesn’t appear to have pierced
the cardiac muscle it is causing some arrhythmias
and we need to operate immediately.”

Ben would have collapsed to the ground had it

not been for Ricky’s hold. “Is he going to be
okay?”

“I’m not going to lie to you, it’s iffy at best.”

Stephani Hecht

Doctor Lee came rushing into the room, his face

all business and as impassive as ever. Taking the
X-ray, he studied it a moment himself before
pausing to glance at some of the EKG strips.

“What are we waiting for? Get him up to the

OR immediately,” Dr. Lee barked.

Everybody rushed to do his bidding. The room

quickly cleared out as they rushed Danny from the
room. Ben gave him a longing look as he
disappeared from sight.

Damn, but he’d give anything to be able to give

Danny  one  more  kiss.  To  hear  the  cop’s  raspy
voice.  To  feel  the  way  Danny’s  stubble  rubbed
against  his  cheek  as  they  woke  up  in  each  other
arms.

Dr. Lee paused and glanced at Ben.
“Please,” Ben rasped. “Save him. I can’t lose

him.”

Then his grandfather did the most shocking

thing of all. Leaning forward, he kissed Ben on the
cheek. “I will treat him as if he were my own kin. I
promise to return him to you.”

He then left the room. All that was left was Ben,

Ricky and a huge mess. For once, Ben couldn’t
separate himself from all the blood that was
covering the floor either. Not when it was all from
Danny.

Ben finally let go and sobbed. Ricky, being the

friend he was, didn’t judge him at all, but just held

Fubar

Ben and offered the only thing they had at the
moment—hope.

* * * *
Danny woke up and immediately wished he

could fall back asleep as the most intense pain
ever sliced through his chest.

When in the heck had that city bus hit me and most

importantly where is it now so I can shoot out its tires?

Then suddenly all the memories came rushing

back at him. How he and Charlie had finally
managed to catch up to the punks responsible for
the gay bashings. In the shoot-out that’d followed,
he and Charlie had both taken fire, but had still
managed to take down the perps.

“Oh, shit. Charlie!” Danny exclaimed.
Damn it, was his partner okay? Danny tried to

sit up, letting out a hiss of pain as he realized any
movement at the time was a huge mistake.

He then became aware of somebody holding

his hand. Turning his head, he was touched, but
not overly surprised to see Ben in the chair next to
the bed. The nurse wore his scrubs though they
looked wrinkly as hell, and even though Ben had
his head resting on the bed and was asleep, Danny
could still see dark circles under the man’s eyes.

While he hated to wake up Ben, Danny was

desperate to know if Charlie was okay and gave
Ben’s hand a tug. Ben stirred, his eyes blinking
open before he let out a gasp, “You’re awake. Oh,

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thank God.”

“How’s Charlie?’
“He’s fine. He got shot in the gluteus maximus,

but he’s going to make a full recovery.”

Danny gapped at him. “Are you trying to tell

me that Charlie got shot in the ass?”

“Yeah, the right cheek to be more specific.”
Danny laughed, groaning as the action caused

more  pain  to  slice  through  him.  Ben’s  face
tightened  with  concern  before  he  pushed  what
looked  like  a  button  from  a  game  show.  A  beep
sounded  before  a  warm  sensation  of  happiness
flowed through Danny.

“Wow, what is that?”
“Morphine.” Ben handed Danny the button.

“You can push it whenever the pain becomes too
much.”

“What happened to me?”
“You were shot in the chest and the bullet was

close to your heart so they had to open you up.”

“Damn, no wonder it hurts so much.”
“Yeah, you have a pretty big incision. You

won’t be winning any wet t-shirt contests any time
soon.”

“Damn, and here I was hoping to keep the Miss

Spring Break title for another year,” Danny teased.

Ben grinned. “Oh, you were going to lose that

anyway. I was planning on going down and
taking it from you this year.”

Fubar

Danny bit back another laugh, not wanting to

suffer any more pain than he was already going
through. “Who operated on me?”

Ben cocked a brow. “My grandfather.”
“Damn, I’m surprised I survived.”
“Actually, before he went into the OR he

promised me that he would see you through it
and that he would treat you as kin.”

Before Danny could ask Ben if he was kidding,

the devil himself came in. Dr. Lee walked over to
the monitor, studying it for a moment, before he
examined Danny’s surgical wound. The entire
time, the room remained eerily soundless.

Once he was finished, Dr. Lee tucked the sheet

back in place and said, “You’re going to be in
some pain for a while, but you’ll make a full
recovery.”

He turned and started to walk from the room,

then paused. Turning back around, Dr. Lee
walked over until he was standing in front of Ben.
“I am proud to call you my grandson. I am sorry I
ever told you otherwise. You are a good man.”

Turning to Danny, Dr. Lee added, “Take good

care of him.”

“I always will,” Danny vowed.
For right after he’d been shot, when he thought

he was going to die, he’d come to a realization. He
loved Ben and wanted to spend the rest of his life
with the other man. Now, he only hoped that Ben

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felt the same way.

Giving them a parting smile, Dr. Lee left the

room.

They both fell into a stunned silence.
“What in the hell brought that on?” Ben asked.
“Maybe he finally wised up and realized how

much he had to lose if you weren’t in his life
anymore.”

“I didn’t think he cared either way.”
Danny offered him a smile. “Some people have

a weird way of showing love. I think your
grandfather just may be one of them.”

“If you say so.” Some of the tension eased up

on Ben’s face, though.

“I do. He should be proud of you.”
“You know, my grandfather has a point. You’re

going to be in some pain for a while. Maybe you
should move in with me so I can take care of you,”
Ben offered.

While he tried to keep his tone casual, Danny

wasn’t fooled for one second. “Are you saying that
because you feel it’s your duty as a nurse or
because you want me around for good?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Are you really going to

make this awkward?”

“Hell yes. I’m in pain and bedridden. I have to

get my entertainment somewhere. I want to hear
you say it.”

“Say what?” Ben blinked innocently.

Fubar

As if. There had never been a moment in Ben’s

life where he’d been innocent and they both damn
well know it.

“It’s just three little words. Now, how hard can

that be?” Danny pushed.

“Why don’t you say it first?”
Danny gestured to his wounded chest.
Ben narrowed his eyes. “You’re going to milk

this for all it’s worth. Aren’t you?”

“You bet your sweet ass I am.” Danny gave

what he knew was a wicked grin. “Now. Say. It.”

“Okay! Fine! I love you. You big jerk.”
A rush of happiness went through Danny that

had nothing to do with the Morphine. “I love you,
too.”

Ben blinked in surprise. “You do?”
“Of course I do. In fact, I’ve even gone so far to

say that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened
to me.”

Ben leaned forward and gave Danny a brief

kiss. “I feel the same way about you.”

They sat there in silence a few more moments,

basking in their shared happiness before Ben
added, “But if you ever get shot again, I’m going
to kick your ass.”

Danny struggled in to hold in another laugh.

He had no doubt Ben would do exactly that. Life
was never going to be dull with Ben in it and that
made Danny the happiest guy in the world.

About the Author

Stephani  Hecht  is  a  happily  married  mother  of
two.  Born  and  raised  in  Michigan,  she  loves  all
things  about  the  state,  from  the  frigid  winters  to
the  Detroit  Red  Wings  hockey  team.  You  can
usually  find  her  snuggled  up  to  her  laptop,
creating her next book.

Contact her at:
Email Address:archangelwriter@yahoo.com

Twitter:
http://twitter.com/StephaniHecht

FaceBook:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?ref=pr

ofil&id=1109353859

MySpace:
http://www.myspace.com/stephanihecht

Blog:
http://stephanihechtauthor.blogspot.com