They all said we were trash and would end up dead or in prison.
They

were

wrong.

The three of us brothers endured hell together and somehow climbed
out

battle-scarred

but

whole.

We are no longer the ferocious boys who punched our way through
terrible

days

and

went

to

bed

hungry

every

night.

Now we've got love, we've got hope, and we've got each other.
But in order to hold on to everything that matters, we'll need to confront
the vicious demons of the past...one last time.

CHAPTER ONE
CORD
I paused in my storytelling to adjust my tiara.
Two wide-eyed little girls watched me and waited while I firmly
resettled the rhinestone and plastic piece. I made a mental note to keep
my chin tilted up so it wouldn't slide off my head again.
The girl on the left, the one who looked the most like her mother, sat up
on her knees and bounced, unable to wait any longer.
"Keep going, Daddy! Tell us what happened next," she begged,
bouncing more excitedly and knocking a stuffed hedgehog to the floor.
"Hey," complained her sister as she reached for her favorite toy.
I scooped up the doll and pretended to examine it closely for damage.
"You all right, Miss Happy?" I placed the thing's mouth against my ear
and nodded. "All right. I'll tell her." Gently I passed Miss Happy back
to her impatient owner. "Here you go, Cassie. She said she just needs a
hug."

My daughter reached out and carefully cradled the stuffed animal in her
little arms. "It's okay," she soothed in the same maternal tone my wife
always uses when she's trying to calm the girls.
"Come on," urged my other daughter, beginning to bounce again, "keep
going!"
They both had their mother's luminous green eyes and they were born
on the same day. Cassie will likely keep the wispy golden curls that
tumbled past her shoulders at this point. Even though she passed her
third birthday several months back we can't bear to cut any of it off.
Cami's chocolate brown hair was shiny and thick, just like Saylor's. She
pursed her lips together and the impatience that flashed in her eyes was
such a mirror image of the look I've seen from her mother a thousand
times I had to struggle not to laugh out loud.
Instead I masked my amusement with a stern throat clearing because I
was in the middle of a serious story. No room for hy sterics.
"Where were we?"
Cami jumped in right away with an answer. "The evil giant was trying
to hurt the brave knight."

"That's right. Thanks, sweetheart. The knight found himself in the lair
of the evil giant."
"What's a lair?" asked Cassie, frowning and clutching Miss Happy.
"It's the evil giant's house. It's dark and smelly and filled with nasty
things like snakes that hide in corners, just waiting for a chance to
strike. The knight knows he can't let his fear get to him. The evil giant
stomps in his direction, thump, thump thump. acting like he's going to
step right on the knight with his fat, ugly giant feet."
"Oh no!" gasped Cassie.
I put a finger to my lips. "But the knight won't be easily defeated. He
holds his sword in the air. 'You will pay for what you've done!' he
shouts."
I glanced at the girls. They were enraptured. I cleared my throat and
dropped my voice to a malevolent rasp.
"'I will destroy you like I have destroyed the rest,' sneers the giant. He
raises his massive foot higher and higher, ready to bring it down with
deadly force."
The girls were silent, staring at me with such intensity it was like the
fate of the world hung in the balance. I leaned closer and continued.

"The knight remains steadfast and clutches his sword. He is a good
fighter, maybe even one of the best. But the giant is so strong and has
destroyed so many. The knight knows if he does not strike first and
strike hard then it will not be enough. He thinks of his home, back in
the peaceful kingdom of Templeton. He thinks of the beautiful princess
who loves him. He had promised her he would return. He knows he
must keep his promise. He must find a way to defeat the giant."
The girls didn't move. Usually they were only this still when they were
asleep.
"The evil giant laughs and gives the knight a rotten green-toothed grin.
He is completely confident that he will easily destroy the knight, as he
has destroyed everyone else who has ever stood up to him. It's what evil
giants like him do. He ruins all that is good. And once the knight is
gone there will be no one to stop him from invading the peaceful
kingdom and attacking everyone and everything in his way."
"Even puppies?" asked Cami in a fearful whisper.
Cas s ie gave me a worried look.
"Maybe not the puppies," I conceded. "But the whole time the knight is
thinking, 'I must win. No matter what, I

must win.' But the giant is so huge, and so evil!"
I stood up on Cami's bed and raised my arms to get the point across that
the giant was really really huge while I twisted my face into a grimace
to show that he was really really evil. Cami gasped and covered her
mouth with one hand. Cassie hid her eyes in the matted fur of Miss
Happy.
When I jumped down from the bed I narrowly missed losing my tiara or
'Knight Hat' as Cami liked to call it. I held my arm out as if I were
brandishing a noble sword that was ready to impale the big toe of an
evil giant.
"Oh!" shouted Cassie, "Look out!"
"Don't get squished!" begged Cami.
"The knight has his sword raised, prepared to die fighting if that's what
it takes to defeat the evil giant, when suddenly...." I paused and glanced
over my shoulder.
"What?!" shrieked the girls.
When I swiveled my head toward the doorway I caught sight of Saylor
standing there in the shadows, biting her lip to hold her laughter in. I
winked at my wife, sliced my imaginary sword through the air with a
flourish and continued.
"The knight's two brothers, great knights themselves,

come rushing in just in time! They stand beside their brother, offering
up their swords together. They manage to cut deep enough into the foot
of the giant to knock him right over!"
"Yay!" cheered Cassie.
"Did he die?" Cami asked. "Is the evil giant dead?"
Say flashed me a look from the doorway, a silent request to keep the
violence to a minimum.
I got down on my knees in front of my girls and talked in a hushed
voice. "He fell right off the side of the mountain and no one ever saw
him again."
Cas s idy exhaled in relief.
Camille, a s tickler for details even at age three, frowned. "But was he
dead?"
I tousled her smooth hair. "He was gone forever"
Cami nodded and seemed to accept that. Cassie pulled on my hand.
"What about the knight's princess?"
"Ah, my favorite part," I said, scooping up the girls and s ettling them
each on one knee. "The knight went home to his beloved princess and
they lived happily ever after."
"In the castle?" asked Cassie, smiling dreamily.

"In the castle," I confirmed. "And they had two beautiful little girls who
made the knight so happy he thought he would burst."
"Daddy?" "Yes, Cami?"
"What about the knight's brothers?"
"What about them?"
"Did they get princesses too?"
I smiled. "Of course they did."
"All right everyone," said Saylor, finally entering the room and putting
her hands on her hips. Her posture said no nonsense but her green eyes
danced. "Bed time for everyone under the age of four."
I raised my eyebrows. "What about those of us over the age of four?"
She grinned sweetly. "I'll deal with you later."
We took turns tucking the girls under their frilly blankets and giving
them forehead kisses. Their eyelids were already fluttering with the
rapid approach of sleep. Since they were tiny babies they'd been quick
to fall asleep and stay that way all night. I knew it was unlikely we'd
hear a peep from the pink-walled bedroom until the light of day and
that

suited me just fine because I was already checking out my wife's ass
and making plans. She wore a sleek black nightgown that was long and
simple yet existed for the sole purpose of fucking with my imagination.
I could tell from the smooth outlines that she probably wasn't wearing
any panties, bless her dirty heart.
Saylor caught the look and strutted in front of me as I followed her out
the door She tossed her long brown hair over one shoulder and gave me
the kind of seductive over-the-shoulder glance that had my dick
jumping to life and saluting the backside of my zipper.
Once I had the door firmly closed at my back I wasted no time getting
my hands on her.
"Cord," she scolded in a scandalized whisper as I cupped her tits and
pushed my hard-on into her back. "They're not asleep yet."
Since all of Saylor's squirming told me she was already hot and
bothered I didn't stop. I ran my hands down the sleek fabric, enjoying
the sharp way she inhaled as my hands traveled over her belly and
lower to the hot split between her legs.
As for me, things were getting pretty tight down below

and I was ready to get busy. The week had been a long one, putting in
over seventy hours at the tattoo shop, planting tramp stamps on backs
and tribal snakes on biceps. Coming home to my girls every night was
always a gift but these days I was temporarily running the shop by
myself while Saylor burned every end of the candle trying to get her
next book done. Lately romance had taken a backseat. I was ready to
atone for that oversight. I was ready to atone the fuck out of it.
Saylor let out a breathy moan and braced her open palms against the far
wall while I grinned because my finger was right there on the button,
pushing into the satin folds of her gown and getting her so slick and
open I knew she could come with another twenty seconds of light
teasing.
Meanwhile one black strap fell from an ivory shoulder and threatened
to fall even further. The sound of her stifled groans, the sight of her left
breast, and the way she was pushing against my hand was creating an
emergency in my pants. We were still paused in the hallway though.
Contrary to erotic pop culture, hallway humping was actually not the
most fun thing in the world, particularly if you're trying not to disturb
the children sleeping on the other side of the wall.

I could do this several ways. I could sweep her up into my arms and
carry her all majestic and romantic into our bedroom down the hall. My
arms would be glad to do the work and she proved a long time ago that
she was the only one to meant to fit inside them. But when Say pushed
her hair out of her face and gave me those 'Fuck Me Now!' eyes I
became a little less patient. No matter how many years go by with this
woman at my side she'll always be able to level me with one heated
glance.
Grabbing Saylor around the waist while a surprised gasp of laughter
escaped her lips, I dragged her into the narrow laundry room, hauled
her atop the washer and got her legs around my waist.
"No foreplay tonight?" she panted as she helped yank my shirt over my
head. I felt a seam rip but that hardly mattered.
"No foreplay," I growled. "Just post play." I roughly pulled the straps
of her nightie down and got my mouth around the left tit that was
taunting me a minute ago.
Say angled her body toward me and the tender nipple hardened in my
mouth. Her hands roamed all over my back and shoulders while my
dick just about howled for his turn

at some attention. I grinded against her in a fever, ready to bite, tear or
shred my way right through the flimsy fabric of her gown so that I
could get to where I needed to be. She got the message and I felt her
fingers working at the zipper of my jeans. I helped her along by ripping
that shit open, getting boxers and all dropped to my knees. My hands
got between the soft flesh of her ass and the hard surface of the washer,
groping, kneading and getting her as wide open as possible. The gown
was in a defeated puddle around her waist and every inch of bare skin,
from her soft thighs to her sweet breasts, was begging to be taken
advantage of.
"Fuck," I groaned as she wrapped her warm hand around my dick and
started stroking the length, pausing to run her thumb over the swollen
head and grazing against the sweet spot in the way she knew damn well
would drive me to the brink.
"Is that a promise?" she asked, sucking lightly on my neck and then
leaning back so she could stroke me harder. She was the picture of
filthy sex with her hand on my cock, her bare tits bouncing and her
knees spread wide.
"More like a threat, baby." I reached around and deliberately turned the
washing machine dial to the spin

cycle before flicking the switch on, both to drown out our noise and to
make the ride even wilder. I would worship her later, slow and reverent
like she deserved. But right now there was something more urgent in
the way. I needed her bad and if that meant it was quick and dirty, then
that's what it meant.
The second I plunged into her she went rigid and let out a sighing
groan. "Cord."
There were no adequate words for how much I loved her. I'd never
believed in anything remotely holy until I fell for Saylor McCann. I put
a ring on her finger and my babies in her belly because she was more
than sex, more than heart; she was everything I'd ever heard rumors of
and didn't believe existed until she was mine.
"Tell me, honey," I demanded as I got her hair all wound into one fist.
"Tell me about it."
She was already deep into her own pleasure and it was so hot I almost
lost it. She clutched me like I was the last life belt on the sinking Titanic
as the orgasm bore down.
"You're so good," she moaned. "And I love you so much."
I paused and waited until she opened her eyes.

"Say it again." "I love you."
I played with her, my fist still controlling her hair, my cock pulling out
enough to just graze the slick surface in a deliberate tease. "You love
who?"
"I love you, Cordero Gentry."
"I love you too, Saylor Gentry."
She moaned and tried to pull me back in. "Then keep fucking me!"
What kind of man would ignore a plea like that? I went at her rough
because I knew in certain moods she liked it that way. This was one of
those moods. Her nails dug into my back and she was shaking, her
muscles clenching around me in a rhythm that added to my triumph.
The machine vibrated underneath us.
And when I came it was even more powerfully intense than usual
because I knew what was at stake. We'd been tossing the idea around
for months. Damn, but there was nothing sexier than letting go inside
of her and hoping part of me would get to stay there.
Once we caught our breath I grinned and kissed her. "I hope I knocked
you the hell up."

She was still a little shaky, holding onto my arms so she wouldn't
topple right off the washing machine. She smiled back. "I hope you did
too."
I stroked her thighs. "Can't believe I agreed to get this hot body
pregnant again."
Saylor tilted her head and licked her lips. "You should be excited about
it. Remember those lusty reproductive hormones."
"Does this mean I can again look forward to waking up in the middle of
the night with your tongue on my dick?"
She tapped her fingers on the washer and pretended to consider the
question. "It might."
I got my pants pulled up enough to be decent and took a peek into the
hallway. When I was sure that the kids' door was still closed the same
way I'd left it, I picked Saylor up and carried her in bodice-ripping
romance style to the bedroom.
"I'm pretty much naked," she whispered, trying to pull her gown over
her skin.
"You're completely gorgeous," I confirmed as I crossed the bedroom
threshold and laid her out on the bed.
I pushed her protesting hands away and got the remains

of the silk nightie out of the way. I guess most men believed their wives
were insanely beautiful creatures created just for them. But mine really
was.
"Let me see," I insisted, getting my hands all over her until she stopped
trying to keep any part of herself from me. Her hips had widened
slightly after her pregnancy with the twins and her breasts were fuller.
She was soft curves and softer skin, so superbly feminine that it was
only natural to rest my head on her belly and pray that I'd get to stay
there forever I'd already vowed a long time ago to spend the rest of my
life trying to deserve this. Saylor ran her fingers through my sweaty
hair and let out a happy sigh.
We'd grown up together, sort of. She lived in the one decent
neighborhood of the shitty prison town of Emblem where my brothers
and I struggled to survive on the desolate outskirts. I was a punk. All
three of us were. Triplets born to a vicious scumbag of a father and a
weak-willed junkie mother, we inflicted havoc on the town of Emblem
and its daughters.
Back in those bleak times, Saylor wasn't slutty enough to catch my
attention, not until the day when I used her to settle a bet with my
brothers. It was the worst thing I'd ever

done and that's really saying something, but it rattled me awake in a
way. I didn't want to be that guy, the callous s coundrel who trampled
everything decent in his path. I didn't want to be my father. Six years
later when we ran into each other, Saylor had no reason on earth to trust
that I was any better than I'd been at age sixteen. I'll always be amazed
that she gave me the chance to prove otherwise.
"Cordero. What are you thinking?" my wife whispered as she cradled
my head against her bare skin.
I propped myself up on my elbows and covered her with my body,
careful not to crush her with my weight. Her mouth tilted into a smile
as she bent her head and kissed the place just beneath my collarbone
where a line of Latin script was tattooed across my upper chest. I've got
a total of nineteen tattoos at this point and some of them are pretty
damn impressive works of art. But it was this one that always caught
Saylor's attention, the one she always s ought out and s miled over. She
might not even be aware that she does it.
In a blink I found myself tossed back in time exactly four years ago, to
the night I sat beside her at the edge of a pool, my dick hard, my heart
pounding, my head brooding over

the question of whether I even had a right to look at Saylor McCann.
"Vincit qui se vincit, " she read aloud. "Know what it means? "
Her nose wrinkled as she tried to puzzle it out. "Something about
winning, " she guessed.
"Close. 'He conquers who conquers himself.'"
Her face was inches away from mine. "Have you? Conquered yourself?
"
"Sometimes, " I told her honestly.
"Cord?" Saylor asked gently and there was a hint of concern in her eyes
as she touched my cheek.
I took her hand and kissed the smooth skin on the underside of her
wrist, trailing my lips along the tattoo that she'd once gotten in answer
to mine.
'Amor vincit omnia
Translation: Love conquers all.
"What are you thinking?" she asked.
"I'm thinking about you. About our family. About the fucking
incredible roller coaster of life."
Saylor's smile would always be the thing I aspired to the most. She
gave it to me now.

"How did I get so lucky?" she said.
I asked myself that question every time I opened my eyes and again
before I closed them at night. I kissed her slow, ran my lips along her
jaw and whispered in her ear. "You're the dream, angel."
"Make love to me," she pleaded in a hushed gasp and opened her body
to take me in. I was ready. I slid inside of her and took it slow, bringing
her to the blissful edge twice more before letting myself go. It would
never get old, not with her. Not even when we grew old.
Later, as Saylor slept serenely in my arms, my thoughts s trayed back to
Emblem, as they often did when the day was done and only darkness
awaited. Memories were the reason I still had nightmares, although
they weren't as graphic or frequent as they once were. In those
nightmares there was always the pain of hunger and the acrid taste of
desert dirt. There was always a terrible villain more foul-breathed and
violent than any fairy tale. I was always small there, always even more
desperate to protect my brothers, Creed and Chas e, than I was to
protect myself. Sometimes as my mind shook itself free and I curled
my arms more tightly around my sleeping wife, I would need to
whisper 'It's over' to

myself before I could return to sleep.
But then the next day, sometimes I would remember the battles that still
haunted me. And I would wonder if that was true, if the worst was
really over.
Or if somewhere in the uncertain future loomed the fiercest fight yet.

CHAPTER TWO
CREED
They wanted blood tonight, or something even more personal. Right
after my set I headed down the back hallway but a bunch of drunken
ASU coeds were blocking the way. The two bouncers who were
supposed to keep order back there were so busy trying to touch some tit
they didn't have time to be useful. I preferred the Scottsdale venues to
these college crowds but the money was too good to pass up. I've been
headlining on Thursday nights here at The Hole for about three years
but lately the place has been getting too fucking rowdy.
Or maybe I'm just getting too fucking old.
"Creedence!" shrieked some tottering blonde I'd never seen before. She
lurched around with a couple of other girls as they tried to keep each
other upright. Then she clumsily flashed a pair of pert tits, her glittery
scrap of a shirt getting bunched around her neck.
"Creedence!" she howled again and pointed to her chest just in case I
missed seeing the offer.
"Jesus," I muttered, shaking my head and feeling sorry

for whoever raised that stupid girl. I just wanted to get myself and my
guitar the hell out of there. You'd think the titanium band around my
left ring finger would discourage the groupie crowd but either they
didn't notice or considered it a challenge. Whatever the case, they're
wasting their time, all of them.
I was making some headway toward the exit and so far had managed
not to kick anyone in my way. Then some wiry chick with a thick
streak of magenta in her brown hair grabbed me around the waist and
started to climb like she was scaling Camelback freaking Mountain. I
could have shaken her off with ease but I was trying to figure out how
to do it without being rough enough to hurl her to the dirty
tile.
"Holy shit," breathed the girl, exhaling a cloud of peppermint
Schnapps, "Sick. You're like a damn wall of muscle." Then she
wrapped her skinny legs around my waist and started acting like I was
the bucking bull at a rodeo so I decided I was done being pleasant.
"Get off," I growled, pushing her legs away.
But no, this one decided such rejection was merely an opportunity. She
duck-faced her thin lips and rubbed her

bony body harder. "I'll get you off, baby."
No thanks. I smacked her hands away from my crotch and leveled her
with a stern you-ought-to-be-ashamed-of-yourself kind of glare. "Have
some god damn self respect."
She was like a human octopus. Seriously, it was sick. Octo Girl took
the arm I'd just detached myself from and wrapped it around my neck
while she pushed her other hand down my waistband and flicked her
tongue next to my ear. "Self fucking respect? You sound like
someone's fucking dad or something. Makes me so wet."
Gross. Disgust. On every measurable level and beyond.
I would never hit a female but I was done being molested tonight so I
wrapped my right arm around the body of Octo Girl and unmerged her
parts from mine. She slipped down and landed on the floor with an
unfortunate 'Oof!' and then s wiveled around to glare at me. I knew that
glare. It had a 'Can't believe you passed this shit up' kind of flavor. I've
become immune. I come out to play music and that's all. The other
performers can decide a pussy collection is part of the after-show and
that's their business. I'm not interested. If everyone could see what I've
got waiting for me at home

they would know better than to even try.
One of the bouncers, a gruffly bearded pit bull named Edgel, got his act
together and decided to clear a path. He urged the girls to one side of
the hallway and stood in front of them like a hairy velvet rope.
"I got ya, Creed," he shouted with a grin full of capped gold teeth.
"Appreciate it," I grumbled as I squeezed past.
If this were a crowd of men I'd have no trouble barreling my way
through the horde, but fists and brute force aren't really in order when
you're up against a pack of drunk twenty year old girls.
The original tit flasher gave it one more try and then offered me the
same baffled glare as Octo Girl before her friends hauled her away
from her own humiliation. The sight of her made me sad in a weird
way. She probably had doting parents somewhere on the planet and
they wouldn't be excited to see how their little princess was behaving.
In my head I pictured some sallow middle-aged couple from Iowa or
somewhere wringing their plump corn-fed hands and wailing, 'Oh
honey, how could you?'
Yeah. I really must be getting fucking old.

I waved to Edgel just before stepping out into the night, grateful to
realize that the keys to my truck were still in my back pocket because I
sure wasn't going back in The Hole tonight for love or money.
My truck was parked on the next block, like it always was. There's too
much risk of getting boxed in somehow by parking in the small lot
beside the bar. I never wanted to hang around longer than I had to.
Right around the corner I passed a quartet of men and women who
looked a few years older than the university crowd. They were dressed
like they'd spent a gray cubicle kind of day inside one of those towering
downtown Phoenix office buildings.
"Great show, man," one of the guys said and the others murmured in
agreement.
"Thanks," I muttered with my head down because, like my wife says, I
still don't know how to take a damn compliment. I probably never will.
When I finally got inside my truck and set the guitar carefully on the
seat beside me I managed to exhale and relax a little. I loved
performing as much as ever; I just had some trouble handling all the
shit that came with it sometimes. That was why I'd never taken any of
the touring offers and

couldn't bring myself to return calls from that California mus ic agent.
I turned the key and the buttery sound of the engine revved up
immediately. I'd bought it about two years back, the first semi-new
vehicle I'd ever owned. Sometimes I got nostalgic for the old, rambling
pickup I used to share with my brothers, Cord and Chase. Those warm
feelings probably didn't really come from the rusty eyesore that got
towed to the dump some time ago. But that old tin pile signified an era
of liberty when the three of us managed to bust out of our childhood
and find something better than the Gentry curse we'd been born to.
We'd done it together, which was how we'd done everything, ever since
the first spark of life twenty-six years ago. When we were kids Chase
used to claim that it was inevitable that we'd all die on the same day.
That was bullshit of course, like so much of what came out of Chase's
mouth.
I chuckled over the memory of my brother's crazy declarations. God, I
missed my boys. Cord and Chase were still here in town and even
though I saw them whenever I could we all had our own business going
on. I've got nothing to complain about though. Life has been pretty

damn good to me for no reason at all.
After carefully nosing the truck around the pedestrians littering the
street, I headed toward University Drive and switched the radio to the
CD setting. Alan Jackson immediately started belting out his best and I
smiled because he was Truly's favorite. She must have had this playing
the last time she used the truck. The thought of her all sprawled out and
sexy, waiting for me on our bed, caused my heart to perform a little flip
in my chest, like it always did when I was on my way home to her.
She'd offered to come along and watch me play at The Hole tonight but
I knew she was tired. She had a long day, between her fashion design
classes in the morning and then her internship up in Scottsdale. When I
planted a kiss on her head she gave me one of her divine Truly smiles.
That was the smile I sang for and worked for and woke up in the
morning to see. It was mine and I planned on keeping it as long as I
breathed.
"I'll come right home," I promised, wishing at the time that I didn't have
to go anywhere at all.
"I'll be waiting," she answered with her playful Southern lilt as her eyes
pointedly fastened on my crotch.

With a promise like that it took a lot for me to walk out the door and
drive to Tempe. My dick was rather unhappy with the delay and it was
a chore to focus on the music.
My fingers tapped the steering wheel in time to the song as light from a
streetlamp caught the metal of my wedding band. I knew this song
well. I'd sung it once, for her. It was the very first time I got up on a
stage with my fists clenched, my nuts in a bunch, waiting for any
excuse to jump down and take a swing at the first fucker who had
something smart to say. Then I'd looked over the nameless sea of faces
before me and saw her Truly Lee always shone with the kind radiant
beauty that men have fought brutal wars to win. When she gave a slight
nod of her head and that incomparable smile I found the calm that
relaxed my fingers out of a fist and led them to the guitar strings.
I was already a goner by that point, had been from the first night I took
her home and played every kind of sex combo ever invented. In bed our
chemistry was off the charts, although it took my head a little while to
wake up and realize that once I looked at her I wouldn't be able to look
anywhere else. Truly was so much more than a body and a face. She
had love and passion and humor. She could have

done a thousand times better than me.
The condo that we bought shortly before our Valentine's Day wedding
a few months back was cradled down in the quiet shadows of South
Mountain, a world away from the boisterous college corridor When I
got out of the truck I paused for a moment to stare at the red lights of
the antennas atop the mountain. You could see them from just about
anywhere in the valley. There were cars surrounding me in the parking
lot but there was no noise. I could sense the wilderness of the mountain
preserve just on the other side of the stucco perimeter wall. Something
about the smell of the creosote and the brief yips of some nearby
coyotes caught me off guard. Suddenly I was tossed back in time to the
scene of a thousand campouts with my brothers in the wide, raw desert
that surrounded Emblem. Those weren't good years. Thinking of them
now made me uneasy.
I pushed away the gloom and whistled a little as I walked to the front
door. It was all decorated in frilly Truly-style with a s pring wreath that
cradled a painted wooden heart that read 'Love Lives Here'.
The musky scent of one of her sensual candles hit me as s oon as I got
the door open. Our neighbor was a sixty-year

old widow who made a living selling shit like dildos and flavored body
oil. Truly bought a few things every month to help her out.
"Hi there, handsome," purred Truly Lee Gentry as she posed in the
archway between the living room and the kitchen. The black lace corset
with red trim showed off her hourglass figure and her black hair spilled
in soft waves over her shoulders. The garters and black stockings ended
in the most whorish stilettos this side of the red light district and she
started to slide her black thong down right before my eyes.
Be still my fucking heart.
"Damn, honey," I swore, slamming the door at my back and getting my
shirt off a millisecond later "If I would have known to expect all this I
would have blown every traffic light in the east valley."
"I warned you I'd be waiting," she teased and then balled the thong up
in her hand before tossing it at my head.
I would have caught it but I was busy getting my pants down. "You got
any other warnings?"
"We'll take care of them in there." She started walking toward the
bedroom, her bare ass winking erotically with

every swaying step.
I caught up to her and pressed my dick against her soft flesh while my
hands found a hot target between her legs. "We'll take care of them out
here," I growled into her ear, enjoying her shudder of arousal and the
sudden slickness on my fingers.
She was putty in my hands as I nudged her into the kitchen, toward the
quartz countertops.
"Bend over," I ordered when we got there.
"Creed," she protested, glancing over her shoulder while biting a corner
of her lip. I answered by flipping her around, dropping to my knees and
giving her a long, deliberate lick that got her thighs shaking and her
chest heaving.
"I feel like I ought to get down and thank the lord for giving you so
many talents with that mouth," she panted in her sexy drawl. "It
deserves to be honored."
I withdrew my tongue and pulled her down to the floor with me. "Think
I'll claim a reward then."
"What reward?" She was straddling me now, those luscious tits
practically spilling out of the tightly pulled corset, the muscles between
her legs already quivering on the brink of climax

I relaxed onto the cold tile, stretching my arms up and linking them
behind my head while I watched her. "You're gonna ride me like the hot
devil, sweet girl."
Truly raised a perfectly arched dark eyebrow. "I don't believe the devil
is used to working for it, Mr. Gentry."
I said nothing. I unlinked my hands, seized her curvy hips and pushed
my throbbing cock inside of her with enough force to make her throw
her head back with a curse and a moan while her fingernails dug into
my chest. But her body told the story about how she loved it. I didn't
marry this girl because she was the hottest piece of ass on the planet but
the fact sure was a rich bonus.
"Hard," I whispered, pushing her in a fast, grinding rhythm that she
quickly caught. I watched her getting close while I met every move
with a rough thrust that ended with my ass slapping against the kitchen
floor. She came loudly and with an abrupt force that clenched around
my cock like a vice.
"Creed," she gasped because she wasn't even done letting the spasms
subside when I bolted upright, my hands s upporting her body, getting
to my feet while my cock was still buried deep inside her. We locked
eyes while she was

still wrapped around my waist and I carried her to the bedroom like
that, the same way I'd done on countless occasions.
"Don't," I warned when she reached for the light switch like s he meant
to turn it off.
She gave me a teasing grin. "Just messing with you."
I always liked to fuck with the lights on. Tonight was no exception.
Once I got her on the bed I pulled out and moved her so she was face
down with her ass in the air. I slid easily back inside of her where I
belonged and fucked her bold and steady as a king. After all, she was
my queen.
"You'll do it?" she gasped as another climax shook her.
"No stopping me," I growled and grabbed her hips to get her body
arched in a way that would get me as deep as possible because the dam
was indeed about to fucking crack.
And when it did, holy hell, it rocked both of us to the core. We caught
our breath in a tangled heap of sex until Truly prodded me to sit up. I
helped her unlace the corset and then held her close while she snuggled
into my chest.
"You smell like smoke," she said and planted a series of

soft kisses along my collarbone. "Not that I'm complaining. It's a sex
smell."
"Smoke?" "Yes."
"I also got splattered with some beer." "Another sex smell."
Truly's hand roamed around until her fingers found mine. Our hands
automatically connected, our wedding bands briefly scraping against
each other.
We didn't talk about it. There wasn't any need right now.
Last year Truly spent months consumed by temperatures and crazy
charts that predicted biology. I'd already asked her to marry me and I
knew how badly she wanted a family. The s urprise was how much I
wanted one too. Seeing my brother Cordero with his little daughters
had pricked at a place in my heart that I had no idea existed. When we
didn't have any luck after six months Truly went to see her doctor, who
laughed at her and told her to come back after we'd tried for a full year.
She went home that day, tossed all her ovulation tools in the trash and
announced that it wasn't the right time after all. She wanted to
concentrate on planning the wedding and on school for the time being. I

didn't argue with her When Truly was just a teenager she'd gotten
pregnant by her mother's shithead boyfriend. She'd given up her baby
girl and I knew she thought of that child often. It seemed to me she
wanted to stop trying because she was afraid that she'd spent her first
chance and wouldn't get another one. But I didn't question her. I
wouldn't do that.
When she told me last week that she was ready to try again I was glad
to cooperate. We were in a good place. Married, with enough steady
money flowing in for a nice life. I knew that one way or another we'd
have our family.
"Creed?" Truly propped herself up on one elbow and gave me a serious
look.
"Yeah, beautiful?"
She smiled. "I love you more than anything." I kissed the palm of her
hand. "You should. I'm a hell of a catch."
Her laughter was better than any music I was able to make. "Yes you
are."
I kissed her hand again, spoke in a low whisper. "My queen."
Truly's head dropped back to my chest and she let out

another one of her happy noises that made everything inside of me
swell with the certainty that I was in exactly the right place with exactly
the right woman. I turned off the lamp and pulled a chenille throw
blanket from a neighboring chair, covering her with it. Her breathing
was already growing deep and even. She'd be asleep in a minute.
My mind, on the other hand, didn't want to quit. It sorted through the
day and ran through entire albums of music while my wife s lipped into
a peaceful rest on my shoulder.
I'll probably never be a great man who does things people will
remember. But I've become much more than I was ever supposed to be.
Partly because of my brothers, and partly because of the woman asleep
in my arms. A strange feeling of ferocity swept over me. Maybe it had
something to do with having so much to lose. There was nothing I
wouldn't do to protect my right to return here every night.
"Nothing," I whispered. The word hung in the darkness like a threat.

CHAPTER THREE
CHASE
She was late. And there would be hell to pay for it.
I took a long drink out of the bottle on the table beside me. I thrummed
my fingers on the dark wood and checked my watch again. She said
she'd be home by seven. It was now seven-fifteen. I wouldn't give her
the satisfaction of a phone call though. She knew exactly what the fuck
was up.
The sudden noise of the key in the door made the neighbor's Chihuahua
start barking hysterically. Those piercing little yips were as sharp as if
he were four inches from my left ear. His owners were a flighty pair of
grad students from San Diego. They were always leaving him out on
the balcony when they weren't home. The walls in the apartment
complex were thin. Too thin for my taste. Good thing this situation
would be history soon.
I heard Stephanie curse on the other side of the door when she dropped
her keys. The door was only a few steps away from where I sat. I could
have gone over there and opened it for her. Instead I casually switched
off the lamp on the table beside my drink and waited.

"Shit," hissed Stephanie as she stumbled through the door in a jumble
of legs and heels and purse. She tossed her bag into a corner, flung the
door closed and stood in the foyer with her hands on her hips. "Chase,
why the hell are you just sitting there in the dark?"
I said nothing. I took a slow, deliberate drink and then carefully placed
the bottle back on the table. The lights from the courtyard spilled into
the living room and showed me the kind of uptight business getup she
wore to her downtown office every day. Black pencil skirt, heels to
match, button up blouse with the sleeves rolled to her elbows as her
permanently wild hair spilled halfway down her back in riotous waves.
"Chase?" she asked, a little uncertainly as she shifted her weight and
pressed her legs together.
I leaned forward, rested my elbows on my knees. My voice was a
menacing growl. "Look at your cheap ass. Your skirt is so fucking
short."
She sucked in her breath and took a cautious step backwards. Then she
stiffened. "Of course it's fucking s hort. Got to make sure a man knows
where to point his cock."

I jumped to my feet. She didn't flinch. She just stood there, breathing
heavily and glaring at me in the semi-dark.
"You're not going to make this easy," I muttered, sliding closer.
"No," she shook her head, hands still on her hips. "You'd better fucking
promise." "Up yours."
I circled her, close enough to catch the minty smell of her shampoo as
she shook her hair and swiveled to glare at me. I made it difficult,
intentionally, cutting around in an abrupt switch so that she nearly
toppled from her damn heels trying to follow me with her scowl. Even
in her heels on I was about eight inches taller and always at least five
times stronger. I got behind her and before she could do a thing about it
I had an iron grip around her waist, my hands firmly capturing each hip
and kneading hard. Her breath caught in a sharp shudder as her
defenses wilted, her head lolled back against my shoulder and her ass
pressed into my cock.
I pushed her hair away and sucked momentarily at her neck before
murmuring in her ear. "I think you need to remember who's in charge
here, honey."
She snapped her head away, one more move of defiance.

"I don't remember anything you dickhead." "You will. I'll have you
begging." "Impossible." "Factual."
She tried to twist around but I stopped her, flattening one hand over her
stomach and slipping the other into the waistband of her skirt, easing
right into her panties.
"You think it's that simple?" she said through gritted teeth but she was
clutching my arm by that point and trying to direct the motion of my
fingers as they found their way inside, stroking, pushing.
"It always has been, Steph. From the first time I finger fucked you over
a lucky deck of cards in a Vegas hotel room. Remember?"
Oh, she remembered. She was practically liquefied over how much
remembering she was doing. When I got close enough to feel how wet
she was I almost lost my concentration. I didn't want to do that now. It
was always so much sweeter when we played it out for a while. And
this was going to be one sweet ending if I had my way, which I always
did.
There was no need to hold her in place at this point. She

was all thawed out and pliant, with no plans to go anywhere until I let
her. Stephanie Bransky was all husky moans and straining muscles as
she rolled her hips, trying to get off on my fingers.
Casually I unbuttoned her blouse with my right hand while my left
stayed between her legs. "Chase," she breathed. "Oh god."
"Shush baby. You'll get what you want when I get what I want."
Whenever I felt her pussy start to spasm around my fingers I let up and
didn't let her get there. She pushed her ass against me harder, trying to
speak directly to my cock, but I wasn't giving in yet.
That wasn't the way this game went.
Stephanie sighed with exasperation, turning her head to the s ide,
craning up, trying to see me. "So what do you want?"
I unzipped her skirt with my free hand and nudged it to the floor. The
white glow of the courtyard lights let me see her black panties and her
bare, shapely legs that always looked best propped up on my shoulders,
wrapped around my face or splayed out in decadent glory as I pounded
all

the willful sexy hell out of her.
Shit. My cock, impatient little fuck, was trying to bust right out of my
pants and I didn't want that, not yet.
I withdrew my fingers and replaced them with my thumb, flicking up
against her clit in a way that made her writhe like s he was electrified.
"I want," I told her mildly, "to hear a story."
She was having trouble talking now. "Damn you. What kind of story?"
"I want to hear about what you do in your office all day."
She twisted and tried to get my thumb where she wanted it. I wouldn't
let her.
"I work," she managed to say through clenched teeth as she tried to
push me deeper into the place I refused to reach just yet.
"What else?"
"I go to meetings, Chase." "Who is at these meetings?"
"Today it was Elvin from Marketing, Andy from Sales and Jim, my
boss."
I teased her harder, my voice lethal. "I don't like this fucking story,
Stephanie."

"Chase, please, I'm so close!"
"You know why I don't like this story?"
"I don't-just a little deeper! I need it!"
"Oh Steph, all the needy pussy grinding in the world isn't going to help
you right now. You've made me unhappy."
She stopped squirming. "How?"
"We've had this discussion before. You know how."
She was trembling, gyrating, trying to slide down and impale me
deeper so she could come. I took my hand away and she whimpered.
"Please tell me how, Chase."
"Hands and knees, Steph."
"But I need to-"
"I know what you need. I know exactly what you fucking need, honey.
And you'll get it when I decide you're ready."
"I'm ready." She slid all the way down to the floor and turned around,
reaching for the snap of my jeans. I allowed it. I let her unzip me and
saw the widening of those angelic eyes as she looked up with an
imploring expression.
"I need you," she whispered.
"Yes," I nodded, holding her face in my hands. "You've been needing
me all day, haven't you?"

She bit her lip. "Yes." "You thought about it."
"Yes."
"You touched yourself."
"Yes."
"Show me how you touched yourself."
"Just let me-"
"No! Fucking show me."
She looked up at me, beseeching, imploring, no longer a confident
business women. She was reduced to a throbbing pussy and a set of
hard nipples that she showed me as she bit her lip and slowly unhooked
her bra. They were small tits, sweet tits, and they'd driven me bat shit
since day one. Soon I'd have them in my mouth, sucking away like I
fucking owned them Because I did.
Stephanie obeyed. She was slow, dragging it out because that was what
I liked. I was so hard I could barely stand. I kept myself at bay by
mapping out constellations in my head and thinking about baseball
batting averages. Still, the sight of Stephanie sliding her slutty black
panties off and fingering herself as she knelt at my feet was going to be
mind fuck fodder until I died.

"Is this good, Chase?" she asked in a tentative voice as s he cocked her
head and gazed up at me meekly.
"You're doing some nice work there, sweetheart. Now don't make me
repeat the rules."
"I know. I don't come until you let me."
"And Steph, don't you get there before I let you. I'll know if you're
lying."
She shook her head. "I wouldn't lie to you, Chase."
"You wouldn't fucking dare."
"No."
"Remember how I told you I'd make you beg?"
She lowered her head, her voice small. "Yes."
"You argued with me, Steph. Don't ever do that."
"I'm sorry, Chase. Can I please suck your dick now?"
"Only for a minute. And baby, I better feel the back of your sweet
throat."
She inhaled me slowly, sucking my cock between those pouty lips that
have had me mesmerized since the first time I ever saw them.
Stephanie had been a tough nut to crack. When we got together the
world had shattered and nothing else but her would ever satisfy me.
"Good girl," I said, breathing hard, struggling not to

moan, staying in control. "I do love fucking that hot mouth. God, just
look at you, Steph. You stalked in here all prim and proper and now
here you are on your knees with a mouthful of cock. A little prick tease
is what you are, strutting into that office every day looking like a pricey
whore and knowing that every man in the building wishes he was the
one standing here with his dick down your throat." I grabbed a fistful of
her hair, pulling lightly while she kept sucking. "You know that, don't
you? They can lust after you until their balls turn purple but that's all
they can do. Because this is mine, all mine. Stop now, honey."
I took a step back. I admired the sheer unadulterated artwork of
Stephanie kneeling on the floor, naked and eager to do whatever I told
her to.
"You ready to beg?"
She nodded impatiently folding her hands in front of her. "Yes. Please
Chase. I need you inside of me. I can't stand
it."
"You want me to fuck you?" "Please! I need you to fuck me."
I stroked my dick, slowly, leisurely. "Let's get back to the story."

"But I-"
"Don't argue with me. You said you were in a meeting with your boss."
She put a finger to her mouth, tugged at her lip. It was part of the game.
It was crazy sexy. "I was."
I shook my head. "No, Steph. Your boss wasn't at that meeting."
She blinked. "He wasn't?"
"No, baby. Your boss is right here."
She clapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh my god, I forgot."
"Well, I'm about to remind you."
Stephanie bobbed her head. "Yes. I need you to remind me, Chase. I
need you to remind me so hard I won't forget."
"Of course you do." I dropped my pants all the way and twirled my
finger in the air to let her know it was time for her to turn over and give
it up. "Now you get on your hands and knees like I told you and get that
little ass in the air where it belongs."
She complied eagerly and then gasped when she realized that the blinds
to the sliding glass door were open. "We need to close those!"

I got on my knees and slid behind her "Hell we do." "We're on the first
floor." "Lights are off inside." "But someone might see!"
"Yeah." I ran my palms over her back, traveled down to lightly squeeze
her ass, before slowly roaming back up. Bare s kin, hot to the touch.
She was practically gasping. I couldn't take much more of this. I was
ready to explode. "Someone might see. They might see you getting
those fancy business brains fucked out. They might see that you belong
to me."
"I do," she said quietly.
"What?"
"I belong to you!"
I smiled. I loomed over her and teased my cock over her ass, then
changed course, skimming over the wet, swollen folds that were
designed to fit me.
"I know, Steph." I pushed my way inside her. "I know" She went rigid
at the sudden intrusion and then let out a low moan, sinking down to
her elbows. I held her hips up and went to work. I made her say filthy
things over and over. I made her come so hard she shrieked like a wild
thing

and then swayed on her knees as I pulled out, waited a few agonizing
heartbeats and then plunged into her again. Then I turned her over and
sucked on her tits like they were sugar candy before I finally aimed my
dick and came all over her chest. It was all every bit as hot as it was
during my couch-brooding fantasies while I waited for her to get home.
I sat back and admired the way my load made her breasts gleam. I
rubbed it into her skin while she trembled on the floor, eyes closed,
trying to catch her breath.
"I love you," I said.
Steph opened an eye and grinned. "I love you too, you freak."
I lightly smacked her ass. "In response to your insolence I'm tying you
up next time."
She sat up. "That sounds fun." She looked around for her clothes but
they were all in far flung locations. "You really think my work clothes
are slutty?"
"Princess, you could wear a lawn and leaf bag and I'd think it was
slutty."
Steph gave up and grabbed a throw blanket from the couch. "I'm
turning on the light now."
"Okay."

"The blinds are still open, Chase." "So they are."
"You just going to sit there with your dick hanging out?"
"Sure. Dicks need to breathe too."
Stephanie cracked up and flopped on the couch. She took an interest in
the bottle I'd been drinking, picking it up and sniffing. "Root beer?"
"Yup."
Contrary to my offhand bravado, I didn't really want to parade around
naked in front of my crazy college neighbors so I twisted the plastic rod
hanging from the patio door until the vertical blinds closed.
Stephanie was watching me. "You sorry to be leaving this place
behind?"
I swiped my boxers off the floor and pulled them back on before
joining her on the couch. "It's been a nice stretch. We've been here
what, three and a half years?"
She nodded and looked around just as a pack of roaming ASU students
started making a racket out in the courtyard.
"I'll tell you," she said. "I won't miss all the noise. Won't miss all these
kids."
"We used to be these kids."

"And now we're us."
"Hmm." I thought about that. "I guess our old bones will sleep easier at
the new place." "You're old. I'm not old."
"You're nearly a quarter of a century old, sweetheart." "Yes. But you're
a mere four years away from the big three oh."
"Ouch."
She played with her hair. "It'll be quieter."
"You sure about that? Some of those brooding suits we saw when we
left the rent deposit looked a little sketchy."
Steph laughed. "They did, didn't they? I haven't even thought about
packing yet."
"Why would you? We've still got close to two weeks."
She snuggled against me and I slung my arm over her delicate
shoulders, kissing the top of her head. We were moving to a trendy up
and coming artsy neighborhood in downtown Phoenix. After
graduating from ASU, Steph had put her law school plans on the back
burner and had taken a job as a financial analyst. She'd been
commuting from the east valley for the past year. Now that I had just
graduated and had been offered a position teaching history at a high

school in the Phoenix district, it seemed like a good time to rearrange
things a little. I wouldn't mind rearranging things a lot; rings, marriage,
the whole deal but I wanted to be bringing home a solid paycheck with
benefits first. We hadn't even talked about it in a while. I guess
somehow we were afraid of disturbing what we had.
I ran my fingertips up and down her arm. "You hungry?"
She gave me an arch look. "What are you offering?"
"I grabbed some Chinese food from Magic Garden. It's in the fridge."
"You get pepper steak?"
I snorted. "And she asks if I got pepper steak. Of course I got pepper
steak, Steph. Do I look like I'm new here?"
We sat on the floor of the kitchen and ate cold Chinese food out of the
white paper cartons. Best damn meal ever.
Stephanie yawned and rested her cheek on my shoulder I set my carton
of Chinese food down and wrapped my arms around her.
"I tire you out already, baby?"
Another yawn. "It's not you. Long day. What time is
it?"
"A watch doesn't go with this ensemble."

She looked me over. "What ensemble?" "Exactly."
She squinted at the clock above the stove. "Only eight o'clock. Hey,
you're hanging out with your brothers tomorrow night, right?"
"That's the plan. With one thing or another it's been a few weeks since
we've been able to be in the same place. Haven't seen the boys since the
night of my graduation. I'm sure we'll just shoot the shit at the tattoo
shop, maybe head to dinner and a bar. You want to come along?"
She shook her head with a smile. "No. Far be it from me to interfere
with the Gentry boys."
"You couldn't interfere with the Gentry boys. You'd only enhance
them."
"Go with Cord and Creed. It's fine." She crept over to the fridge and
stowed the carton of pepper steak on the bottom shelf. "Think I'll leave
that for leftovers tomorrow night when I'm sitting here all by my
lonesome."
I grabbed her. "Let's get a puppy."
"What?"
"When we move. New place allows dogs up to forty pounds. I already
checked."

An odd look crossed her face. "Chase."
I collected her back into my arms. "If you had a puppy you wouldn't be
lonely on the rare occasions I go s omewhere without you. He would be
so cute. We could name him Gentry."
She tipped her forehead into my chin. "Yeah. We could."
"Steph?"
She gave me a quick kiss. "We'll talk about it another day."
I got my arms under her and lifted her from the floor. "In the meantime,
let's make a night of it and go crazy. We can roll out the futon and
watch a baseball game."
She settled against me. "That sounds wonderful."
I carried her into the living room, grabbed an extra blanket from the
closet and pushed the futon into a reclining shape. For the first time
tonight I noticed that she was a little pale and the protective instinct
surged in me. I laid her down beside me, covered her carefully with the
blanket and switched on the game. It was one of my favorite things
about being us; we were just happy to be in the same place together.
Before I met Stephanie I'd never had anything like it. I fucked with
random enthusiasm and vaguely wondered

if I'd ever find something worth a second look.
We fought sometimes, Stephanie and I. We yelled and cursed and
stomped around, but always found our way back to each other before
any damage was done. As I absently ran her long, curly blonde hair
through my fingers I tried to imagine my life without her and couldn't.
Saylor, my brother's wife, once told me that love was unpredictable.
And irreplaceable. Saylor was usually right. Lying here with the girl I
loved in my arms was about as close to heaven as I could get and still be
earthbound. There's no way for me to know if it's the same for all men.
My brothers had found it. I'd found it. That right there said something
meaningful, that a set of no-good boys born to a trashy small town
family could somehow earn their places in the hearts of incredible
women.
Stephanie seemed to sense my thoughts were burning deep. She took
my hand, kissed my knuckles and then opened the blanket she'd tied
around herself so we were lying skin against skin.
Honestly, I would have been in the mood for more fun and games but
Steph fell asleep after two innings. When I put my mouth on her body
she merely stirred and sighed in

her s leep.
So in the end I just kissed my princess gently and then carried her to our
bed so she could rest.

CHAPTER FOUR
CORD
"She wants what?" "Side by side skulls." "And she wants them where?"
"On her ass cheeks." "Fuck, really?"
"She wants them to appear in a way that when she squeezes them
together it looks like they are kissing." As pen turned around and
kindly pantomimed by pointing to her own skinny ass, clad in orange
cargo pants. She pursed her lips and made a kissing noise.
I sighed heavily and straightened my back, which was a little sore from
being hunkered over Deck's desk all morning, going over the books.
"So they're skulls, right?"
Aspen was enjoying this. Her brown eyes practically gleamed. "Right!"
"Then they do not have lips." "Nope."
"So how the hell can they kiss?"

Aspen considered. "I suppose they will just kind of press their exposed
teeth together and grin." She jokingly stuck the tip of her tongue
through the small gap between her own two front teeth.
I snorted. "Awesome. Brick can't take care of it?"
"Brick is busy. Brick is inking an eye on the back of a bald head."
"Really?"
She nodded. "Yeah. This hell-for-leather dude who rolled in an hour
ago with half the desert stuck to his clothes and a homicidal look on his
face. Apparently he's a friend of Deck's."
I smiled at the mention of my wild cousin. Deck Gentry looked like one
of the roughest men on the evolutionary scale but he's got just about the
best heart around. Right after my girls were born, Deck rented a vacant
storefront down the road from the university, announced he was
opening a tattoo shop and promptly insisted on making me part owner.
Deck's been in the habit of doing me colossal favors all my life. He's as
much a brother as Creed and Chase in every way that counts.
"If he's Deck's friend he's all right."

Aspen cocked her head. "Have you heard from him?"
"Deck? He called yesterday. I told him I didn't want to hear from him
again for a while."
Deck had worried he was leaving too much on my plate before he
embarked on a two month round-the-world trip with his girlfriend,
Jenny. She'd always wanted to travel and Deck surprised her the night
of her graduation a few weeks ago with news of the trip. They left for
India the following morning. Before he left I assured him I could
handle things just fine and I meant to do just that. Deck deserved to
have the time of his life with the girl he loved.
I grabbed a pen and sketchpad. "Guess I better get to sketching some
ass skulls. Tell the client I'll be out in fifteen."
"Oh!" Aspen clapped her hands together. The absurd giant pink bow
that sat atop her blue hair wobbled. "I almost forgot. She wants wings
too."
"Pardon?"
"Coming out of the sides of the ass skulls. She wants them to resemble
black feathery ears."
I threw the pen. "You better not be making this up." "Hell no, Cord. My
creative talents are reserved for my

man. Hey, you want Brick to pick you up something from Pita Palace?
He's running down there as soon as he's done with Baldy."
"Nah, I'm closing up at six and having dinner with the boys."
"Oh dear," sighed Aspen as she slumped against the office door. "You
can't just inflict all that Gentry testosterone on the town without
warning. If I wasn't already so passionately attached I might swoon."
"Swoon away, kid."
"Only if you'll catch me. I feel so lightheaded."
I chuckled. Aspen liked to give me a hard time but she was completely
in love with Brick. If you thought about them separately they were an
odd pair; the crew cut former military man and the colorful wild child.
But when you saw them together it somehow made complete sense.
"I think you'll recover," I told her wryly and started my s ketch.
It was Deck's idea to name the shop Scratch and it's been in business
going on three years now. In that time we've built up a brisk customer
base, mostly through word of mouth. Deck never considered himself
much of an artist so

these days he only sat down to ink when we were in a tight s pot.
Besides me, the hulking ex-Marine Brick was the other full time artist
on staff. But lately we'd been busy enough to toss around the idea of
hiring someone else. Aspen was around part time handling the front
desk, the phones and other administrative crap.
It didn't take me long to get a pretty decent sketch worked up. I could
hear Aspen's chirpy voice in the front as s he entertained the client.
When I was satisfied that I had a solid mockup of the asskissing
feathery skulls I headed out there, sketch in hand.
The woman was too skinny, blonde, wearing a gray tank top that did
nothing to mask the tracks on her arms. Junkies aged too quickly so it
was difficult to estimate her age but I would have guessed her to be in
her mid thirties. Her eyes were sharp though, meaning she was off the
habit, at least for a while. I could tell the difference. My own mother
was cut from the exact same cloth.
"You must be Cord," she said pleasantly and her smile gave me a
sudden chill. The ruined teeth, the blonde hair, the way her clothes
hung on her tired flesh, it all reminded me too much of Maggie Gentry.

None of that was apparent though in the way I smoothly shook her hand
and led her down the short hall. Along the way I passed a tiny room
where Brick was inking the biker. It was kind of a comical sight at first
glance; two bulky, mus cled men, one lying face down on a thin cot and
the other looming closely over his bare head while he worked on
coloring the details of a giant blue eye.
I led the woman into the adjacent room and she immediately settled
into the black hydraulic chair.
"Just so you know," she said shyly, "I can pay you. I have cash."
"Good," I nodded and pressed a button to get the chair into a reclining
pose.
She smiled at me and again a shudder rolled through my soul. A
memory, a sense of foreboding. Whatever it was I willed it away. I
didn't want to think of my mother right now. My hometown of Emblem
was only an hour's drive from here but I hadn't seen my own mother in
years. She's never met my wife or laid eyes on her grandchildren. It's
only because Deck keeps tabs on things down in Emblem that I know
she's still alive.
I know he's still alive too. My father Benton. Of course

he is. Evil has a way of remaining obnoxiously healthy.
The woman asked me to call her Mary and made herself right at home
by getting bare-assed and showing me where she wanted the tattoo
before I was able to toss her a modest gown. She wasn't trying to be
sexy about it, which was a relief. It wasn't unusual for female clients to
assume that because I worked on skin they ought to offer me some of
theirs. The wedding ring on my left hand didn't seem to bother them.
But I'd become a master at slyly shoving women away and letting them
know they didn't stand a chance without being nasty about it. At least I
knew Saylor wasn't worried. She shouldn't be, ever. There was no such
thing as a woman who could tempt me to look away from my wife.
Mary was pleased with the sketch. Indeed, she wanted the skulls to be
cheek to bony cheek right smack on her derriere.
"At least someone oughta be kissin' my ass," she howled, cackling, for
a split second resembling a skull hers elf.
She didn't explain the significance of the wings coming out of the
skulls. It might have had some symbolic meaning,

maybe Mary's way of hoping to fly off and leave her crappy current life
behind. Or it might have an expectation of early death.
I checked my watch before I started working. It wasn't a s mall job but
not a huge one either. I could get it done this afternoon and be finished
before the boys showed up. A low rumble in my belly reminded me I
hadn't eaten since breakfast but I knew it would subside. When I was
laying ink I went into a zone where the world receded. I wondered if
Michelangelo had felt the same way when he worked, although I did
have to admit that Mary's ass was not exactly the Sistine Chapel.
As I got the area prepped, Mary relaxed, extracted her phone and a pair
of ear buds from her purse and soon began singing along to Aerosmith.
It didn't bother me.
But I did wish I'd put in a call to Saylor before I sat down. No particular
reason. I just loved hearing her voice. Saylor centered me. She was the
sun in my formerly troubled universe, her and the girls. The hour was
just after lunch, which meant Cami and Cassie would just be getting out
of their preschool class, all full of giggles and energy and loaded down
with pictures to hang on the fridge.

Sometimes I gazed at my bright, vibrant little daughters and tried to
remember if my brothers and I had ever been the same, if we were ever
hopeful, carefree children. But those kinds of thoughts opened a door to
the past and the years spent in the house of Benton Gentry were not a
nice place to dwell on. My girls would never know that kind of terror. I
would cut off my own hands before I would let any hint of my violent,
deprived childhood get close enough to touch them.
A sense of longing tugged at me as I thought of my wife and daughters.
I hoped I'd get home early enough tonight to see them before they fell
asleep. Again I wished that I'd made a quick call to Say before stepping
in here to tackle the job. But now that the task was underway I couldn't
very well leave Mary with her exposed ass in the air just so I could
wander off and make kissy noises over the phone.
"You mind if I take a nap?" Mary asked, swiveling her s kinny neck
around and blinking at me.
"Be my guest," I told her and even handed over a blanket for her to tuck
beneath her head.
With Mary settled in, there was nothing to do but bend down and get to
work. The woman's skin was dotted with

bruises, some fresh and angry, others faded and mottled. I hoped
whoever had put them there was having a fucked up day. No man had
any excuse to hurt a woman. I was gentle as I cleaned the area and
tucked the paper gown in to cover the places I didn't need access to.
Once I started, time was immaterial. There was just the art. And even
though it was a tacky concept being forged on the backside of a lost and
tired woman, it still deserved to be as good as I could make
it.
By the time I came out of my creative fog, nearly four hours had
passed. I stretched and winced at the way my muscles creaked from
remaining concentrated in one spot for s o long.
Vaguely I'd been aware that other things were happening in the shop
while I was working. I'd heard Brick and his big biker client finish up
the job and then engage in some kind of macho hallway discussion
about crossbows and guns. Aspen ran in. Aspen ran out. Aspen talked
and sang and joked with Brick. When I was finishing up and critically
appraising my work both Aspen and Brick peered in the doorway.
"Damn," said Brick in appreciation, only his Tennessee

origins tweaked it slightly to sound more like 'Dayum'.
"Spectacular," agreed Aspen and offered a round of good-natured
applause.
Mary was pleased with the finished product. She offered me a neatly
rolled pack of bills, all singles and fives. I promptly unrolled it and
handed half the stack back to her.
She didn't question the favor, which was a good thing because I didn't
know how to explain it without sounding like an asshole. 'Maybe if you
take some of this back it'll help you keep that shit out of your veins.'
Of course Aspen noticed and had to say something. At least she waited
until the bell above the door stopped pinging after Mary's departure.
"Some charity work, Mr. Gentry?" she laughed.
I threw her a look. "Something like that."
Aspen crossed her arms and tried to look severe, a tall task for a
five-foot-two blue-haired sprite. "Is it going to become a habit? I just
want to get some idea about our revised pricing structure going
forward, especially with the voice of reason out globetrotting."
I snorted. "Deck's the voice of reason?"
She wrinkled her upturned little nose. "Deck might

actually be a minor deity."
"He might be," I agreed and tossed the cash on the shallow front
counter. Aspen was devoted to Deck, but there'd never been anything
romantic about it. He hired her a year ago and I never got the full story
but I had the feeling she'd been in some kind of trouble that he'd
extracted her from. Aspen and Deck's girlfriend Jenny were good
friends. Anyway, once Aspen and Brick -another wayward soul in
Deck Gentry's wide circle of humanity - laid eyes on each other, full
color fireworks erupted.
She opened up her mouth to needle me some more but Brick wrapped a
meaty arm around her waist and redirected her thoughts by sneaking
his hand under her shirt.
Aspen squirmed and twisted around to face her boyfriend. She forgot
all about me and my charity case. Meanwhile, Brick was zeroing in
with the kind of intense expression one guy recognizes in another. It
means, "I better get a piece of this before my dick busts open. "
I suppressed a smile and looked away. "Why don't you guys take off?"
Brick didn't rip his eyes from his girlfriend. "You sure, man?"

"Yeah. I'll be heading out as soon as the boys get here."
Aspen and Brick scurried out the door all wrapped around each other. I
hoped in all their urgency they wouldn't get caught humping in an alley
somewhere. It had happened before. After switching the sign on the
shop to 'Closed' I checked my phone.
About an hour ago Saylor had texted a picture of the girls as they
grinned side by side at our kitchen table with large bowls of macaroni
and cheese. Their sweet smiles were full of the best things in the world.
I put the phone down.
Something was eating me, something I couldn't quite put a name to. It
had started gnawing on my insides at some point this afternoon. There
was no reason in the world to feel this way. All was well with my girls
and my brothers and life in general.
"Shit!" I jumped half a foot in the air when the door s wung wide open.
Without thinking about it I grabbed a steel baseball bat that we kept up
front on the off chance of an unwelcome visitor.
"Cord!" Aspen gasped, her wide eyes absorbing the sight of me
standing there like a slugger at the Home Run Derby.

Brick elbowed his way in, jostling her behind his powerful form as he
glared at me. I couldn't blame him for that. I would have had the same
instinct to protect what's mine.
"Sorry," I muttered, lowering the bat.
"You expecting trouble?" he asked slowly and with suspicion, his
sizeable muscles already coiling beneath the military fatigues he still
wore regularly even though he'd been a civilian for more than a year.
"No," I coughed. "Just my imagination going to weird places I guess."
Brick kept his eyes centered on me for a few seconds. When Brick
looked directly at you sometimes you got the feeling he saw more than
you meant for him to see.
"All right," he finally said and stepped aside to give Aspen some room
because she was too short to talk over his broad shoulders. She swatted
him playfully on the ass and darted over to the front counter to root
around in a sea of post-it notes.
"I forgot to tell you," she said breathlessly, as she selected the pink
square of paper that she'd apparently been hunting for, "you got a call
while you were inking. Well, not you. They were actually looking for
Deck. I figured it was

shop business so I asked the guy if he wanted to talk to you. He said
you would probably be interested in what he had to say as well since
the boys were your family too."
"Boys?" I was confused. Anxiety started climbing. "Creed and Chase?"
"No, no." She peered at her own chicken scratch writing. "He was a
cop. Said a couple of your cousins got themselves hauled into the
station down in that town you guys all come from."
I relaxed. Slightly. In my head I took a quick inventory of all known
Gentry relations still inhabiting the hardscrabble landscape of Emblem.
Some were in prison. Some were dead. Some had run off to parts
unknown. The few that were left weren't really on my radar, but it
didn't surprise me that Deck might have taken an interest in them,
particularly if they were young.
My father's cousin Elijah had passed away a few years back and left
behind a couple of boys who would be in their late teens now. There
was never any doubt the boys were Gentrys - they looked the part from
head to toe - but as I understood it, there was some speculation that
Elijah died without realizing he wasn't the sperm donor. It could have

been my Uncle Chrome, Deck's father, long dead. Or maybe it was
even Benton. Neither idea would surprise me.
Aspen pressed the sticky note on my shirt and I swiped at it. The
number was an Emblem one. I made out the words Officer Driscoll on
the paper and understood. Fred Driscoll was a longtime buddy of
Deck's. Hell, he might have even been on his payroll for some reason or
another that I didn't care to know about. Everyone called him Gaps and
he was tolerated, if not respected, as one of Emblem's peacekeepers.
"I'll take care of it," I said. "You guys have a good night."
Aspen bounded out of there cheerfully but Brick hung back and gave
me an odd look.
"Just so you know," he said mildly, "you ever need some help cracking
heads, there's a few bullet points I didn't add to my resume."
"I appreciate that," I told him, "but I'm holding out hope that my head
cracking days are over."
Brick flashed me a grin and followed his girlfriend out into the honeyed
light of a spring evening.
I stood there alone, staring at the numbers on the note.

There was no reason to bother Deck over this. Whatever it was I could
handle it myself. I flattened one hand on the s mooth counter and with
the other I dialed the number with slow precision, sighing while I
waited for the connection to take me back to Emblem.

CHAPTER FIVE
CREED
No matter how early I woke up, Truly always beat me to the punch.
It was like the woman had some kind of paranormal talent that let her
know what moment I'd be opening my eyes so s he could plan ahead.
Before I sat up I inhaled the aroma of cinnamon rolls and ruefully
figured I'd be hitting the gym extra hard this afternoon to make up for
it. I'd never turn down Truly's cooking though. It might as well have
been written into our vows that whatever she baked, fried, roasted or
grilled would find its way into my stomach.
My boxers were somewhere unseen and I didn't bother looking for
them before I opened the bedroom door
Two s teps later I froze when I heard Truly's bright voice in the living
room. It was awfully early for company but she was evidently talking
to someone and there I stood, about to enter the light with my junk
swinging in plain view.
I relaxed when she paused and there were a few beats of silence before
she spoke again. Obviously whoever she was

talking to was on the phone and not in the living room.
"Well honey, you know I'd love for you to come visit but I don't get
why you can't tell me exactly where you are or what's going on."
Truly was in a state of half dress and pacing around the tastefully
decorated room. My eyes noted the full black skirt and pink lace bra
and communicated the news to my dick. He woke up immediately.
But rather than creep behind my wife, rip the phone from her hand and
demand my marital rights, I reached for a full mug of warm coffee that
was sitting on the counter, draining half of it in two gulps.
Truly paced in the other direction without noticing me and let out a
deep sigh. Whoever was on the other end of that phone had managed to
get her flustered and Truly didn't get flustered easily. Since the other
party was obviously someone who didn't live local, I discarded the
usual suspects like Saylor and Stephanie. Truly had endured a nomadic
childhood and didn't keep in touch with anyone from her youth.
Anyone, that is, except for her sisters.
Apparently the caller had something urgent to do

because Truly abruptly said, "Okay, well you call me back as soon as
you can." Then she held the phone away from her head and blinked at it
with some bewilderment, like it was threatening to produce legs and
walk right out of her palm.
"Which one is it?" I asked and she spun with a gasp.
"Shit, Creedence, you give a girl a heart attack."
Truly flounced over to the couch and sat down hard while I tried to stop
noticing the way her full tits bobbed briefly and threatened to bust out
of the flimsy pink lace.
She watched me as I made my way over to the couch and sat beside her.
If she was thinking straight she would have noticed my dick aiming for
her like an arrow but she was too distracted, crossing her arms and
pulling at her lower lip.
"Meridian," she finally said.
My wife had three younger sisters; Augusta, Carolina and Meridian.
None of them were anything like Truly or anything like each other. All
were born of different fathers to Truly's hapless train wreck of a
mother. Augusta was in grad school in Oklahoma and engaged to a
rough and tumble rancher while the youngest, Carolina, was doing all
right on her own with a scholarship to NYU.
Meridian, or Mia as her sisters called her, was a question

mark. She hadn't come to our wedding and I'd only met her once, the
year after Truly and I got together. She'd crept into town unannounced,
showing up at our apartment looking like a chalk outline of a person
who could be smudged away with the sole of a shoe. Not that she was
high or banged up. But with one look I could tell I was staring at
someone who got scraped up easily by life's rough fabric, the kind of
person who suffered her bruises on the inside.
None of these things needed to be said to Truly. She knew already and
she merely sighed when her sister disappeared in the middle of the
night after spending five days sleeping on our couch. Last we'd heard,
Mia had returned to some farming commune she used to live on in the
Pacific Northwest.
"So what's the deal with the mystery sister?"
"She's on a Greyhound bus and called from a rest stop outside
Portland," Truly explained, her southern accent emerging more
strongly, as it always did when she was stressed, angry or impassioned.
"I don't know, honey, it seems like something's wrong, like maybe she's
in some kind of trouble. I mean something's always off with that girl
but I

got the shivers talking to her just now. She kept her voice in a whisper,
saying she was on her way and only had a few days to get everything
taken care of but then she wouldn't tell me what kind of 'everything' she
was talking about."
My attention kicked up a notch. If Truly's troubled sister was possibly
heading in our direction and bringing some problems with her it was
best to know what they were sooner rather than later. "She hinted that
she was coming here but wouldn't tell you why she only had a few
days?"
Truly shrugged. "I could spit out a thousand guesses but none have any
more chance of being right than the other. When I talked to Aggie the
other day she mentioned she was worried because Mia hadn't checked
in more than once in the last six months."
I put a comforting hand around Truly and rubbed the back of her neck.
"That sounds pretty much like Mia."
"Yeah." Truly sighed and rolled her head back, closing her eyes as my
fingers dug more deeply into her tense muscles. "Maybe there really is
such a thing as an extrasensory sibling sense, you know kind of like
when you get to feeling a little off because something's going on with
Cord or Chase. I just can't shake the notion that Mia's got

more on her plate than she can chew and Creedence did you know you
haven't got a stitch of clothing on?"
As an answer I moved my free hand between her legs.
"You're incorrigible," she sputtered but she still parted her knees and
gave me access. I yanked her panties down and worked quickly to get
her to the brink. She forgot all about sisters and other problems while
she moaned and s quirmed and bit her lip.
As hot as it was watching her get off on my hand while her nipples
spilled out of her bra, I'd reached the point where I needed a workout or
the couch was getting creamed.
Truly didn't need to be told. The second I pulled my fingers away she
was on me; skirt yanked up, knees digging into my hips. I slid in there
smoothly and she let out a high little sound of pleasure as I grabbed her
and pushed deep. The feel of her shuddering orgasm and the noise she
made as she reveled in it was too much to keep any dick in control. I let
go inside of her with my hands everywhere, my body thrusting hard
and deep as possible.
She moaned and shouted my name while she rode me in a fever that
happened to shove her gorgeous tits right into my

face. I sucked on them eagerly as I spent every ounce of me that was
left.
Truly let out a soft sigh as I withdrew.
"I hate that part," she breathed, "the part when you leave me."
I touched her face. The classic beauty on the outside didn't tell nearly
the whole story of who she was. Sassy and tender, intelligent and kind,
she was the total package.
"I'll never leave you," I told her honestly. "I love you."
I didn't get to hold her in my arms for long. The cinnamon rolls she'd
pushed into the oven right before her phone rang started to smell a little
smoky. I ate them anyway. Truly exclaimed over the time and then
darted back to the bathroom for a second shower since I'd messed up
the results of the first one. I polished off a few more cinnamon rolls and
another cup of coffee waiting for her to emerge in a perfumed cloud.
"I've got to run, baby. I've got a class on Marketing in Twenty First
Century Fashion in about twelve minutes and then I'll be up in
Scottsdale all afternoon because Ross is giving all us lowly interns a
peek at the fall catalog although I do hope they've moved past the same
old tired designs

that keep cropping up for the last several seasons. You have a show
tonight? Oh no, that's right. You're meeting the boys. Well you give
them my love and tell them we need to have the whole Gentry crew
over, maybe this weekend, because my hostess talents are getting rusty.
You listening to me, Creedence?"
I put down my coffee cup. "I've told you a million times, Tallulah Lee
Gentry, I'm always listening to you."
She smiled a beautiful Truly smile and offered me a soft, sweet kiss
before pulling on her shoes and heading for the door. I was more than
used to the way she'd talk on and on. I meant it when I said I was
always listening. I always have been. I always would be.
"Love you!" she called and blew a kiss.
"Love you too," I shouted back.
I hoped she wouldn't spend too much energy today fretting over her
sister's unknown troubles. From everything I knew of Mia she wasn't a
fan of self-disclosure so worrying was a waste of time. But I knew the
pain of watching someone you cared about struggle with her demons. It
was a different kind of hell.
After jumping in the shower myself I decided to spend

s ome quality time with my guitar. For years all my playing came from
the gut, or the heart or whatever region tickles your sentiments. There
was no training, no lessons. Just me and the music. But once I started
performing I understood I had a lot to learn. I'd never been an eager s
tudent, not even when I was a kid, but it turned out that all it took was
the right subject. I learned how the black dots on a sheet of music
translated into sound and even started writing some of my own. It
wasn't country and it wasn't rock. It was something in between and it
was enough to catch the attention of a few music scouts who whispered
big ideas about tours and label deals. So far I'd sold a few songs that I'd
composed but then drawn the line there. I couldn't imagine being
prettied up and trotted out all over the nation, curling up on a shelf-like
bed in a stinky tour bus every night and wishing to god I was home with
my woman.
No. The famous life was never my ambition. If it meant that I wouldn't
get any further than four shows a week and an enthusiastic local
following then I was fine with that. With Truly beside me I was
planning on building something a lot more important than
superstardom.
When I emerged from the music I was surprised to see

that it was well into the afternoon. I should be used to the way time
stood still when I was deep in a music trance. I knew it was the same
way for Cord and his art.
Speaking of Cord, I remembered that if I wanted to squeeze in some
time at the gym before I had to go meet the boys then I'd better get
moving.
The gym I'd recently switched to was a little more upscale than the ones
close to the university. There were still the usual muscle rats roaming
around looking for someone to impress and a few soccer moms
sweating on the elliptical machines but other than that the place was
pretty empty.
I worked the weight machines for a while and then spent some time on
the treadmill. I could have easily gone a lot longer but the evening
approached. I still needed to shower off and stop at home to change into
something that didn't include gym shorts.
The plan was to meet out in Tempe at Scratch, the tattoo place Cord and
Deck have been running together since Cord's girls were babies. As I
got close to the university I saw a lot of youthful faces rolling down the
sidewalks on bicycles and skateboards. I shook my head with a small
chuckle that these kids should seem so young to me when it

wasn't too long ago that I was living down here among them.
Scratch was located in a cozy, eclectic neighborhood a few blocks from
campus, one of the older areas that still had some midcentury flavor
from when Tempe was a sleepy college town. The shop was in a
low-roofed block construction strip mall, flanked by a second hand
clothing s tore and a hookah joint. It was only a few blocks away from
The Hole.
After I parallel parked my way into the only open street-side spot I
scanned the area for Chase's truck. I didn't see it, but then I was ten
minutes early and Chase was never on time for anything if he could get
away with being late.
The sign on the door to Scratch was already turned to 'Closed' but the
door was unlocked so I walked right in. Stepping inside was like
drifting into a hallucinogenic episode. Cord's sketches - all tattoos he'd
inked - covered the walls and more than a few were a little too weirdly
abstract for my taste. There was one the size of a dinner plate that
featured a hairy, horned beast chowing down on a screaming clock. It
was probably supposed to communicate something deep and poetic but
hell if I could unravel it.

Cord was standing behind the long counter where the cute little
blue-haired admin usually sat. He was on the phone and he snapped his
fingers at me. I could read my brothers' moods as well as they could
read mine so I could tell at a glance that Cordero was getting some
undesirable news.
"Tell 'em to sit tight," he said. "I'll head down there as soon as I can.
Thanks for calling, Gaps. Yeah, I'll tell
Deck."
For a second I couldn't place the vague alarm I felt over the name Gaps.
Then I remembered. Gaps Driscoll was a goofy but well-meaning cop
down there in Emblem It was the Emblem connection that made me a
little wary. Whatever news came out of there was bound to be
unwelcome.
"What's up?" I asked Cord as he sighed and tossed the phone on the
counter.
My brother shrugged. "Nothing major. Apparently Deck's been
keeping an eye on Elijah's boys and Gaps called to let him know they'd
managed to find some trouble."
I remembered Elijah Gentry. A much softer version of his cousin
Benton, who happened to be my asshole father, Elijah had the blonde,
big-boned Gentry stamp on him. At

least he did before he withered away from some disease I've forgotten
the name of. His boys were young the last time I saw them. It would be
just like my cousin Deck to take some rebellious Gentry teens under his
wing.
"Anyway," Cord continued, "with Elijah dead and their head case of a
mother being unhelpful the boys have been sitting down there in lockup
all day."
"What'd they do?"
Cord grinned. "They boosted the mayor's car, a Cadillac by the way,
and drag raced it down Main Street before sending it into the canal."
I snorted. "They sure sound like Gentrys all right."
"They're both seventeen - born ten months apart - but it seems like
they'll be charged as adults. Their mother says she doesn't have the cash
for bail and she's refusing to get creative about obtaining it. She thinks
maybe if the boys sit inside a cage for a few weeks they'll learn a thing
or two. Gaps doesn't want to see them go to the state facility though.
Says they 're kind of wet behind the ears for that kind of treatment and
he knows Deck would do what he could for them."
"And what might that be?"

Cord shrugged. "Just posting bail I guess. Gaps says if I can get down
there with eight grand he'll make sure they get to go home tonight.
Judge is his uncle or something and can take care of the paperwork
after hours."
"You can get your hands on eight grand that quickly?"
"I can." Cord winked and held up a finger. He retreated to the office
down the hall and emerged less than ninety seconds later holding a wad
of cash, which he fanned like playing cards. "Deck believes in keeping
some pocket change around for emergencies."
"All hail Deck Gentry."
"All should."
I checked my watch. It was a quarter after six The drive to Emblem
would take a solid hour and some change. "Let's go then. We can sail
through a greasy burger joint on the way."
Cord raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to, you know. I can take care
of this. I know how you feel about Emblem."
"Yeah. The same way you feel." I shook my keys. "I'll drive."
The door to Scratch blew open and hit me square on the ass. Chase
poked his head inside with a mischievous grin.

Fucker did it on purpose, smacking me with the door. That's how it
goes with the three of us though. We'll probably be wrestling on the
floor of the nursing home for the last goddamn pudding cup when we're
eighty.
Chase's grin faded as he looked from me to Cord. He stepped all the
way inside and crossed his arms. "So what'd I mis s ?"
"Nothing yet." I jerked my head at the door. "Let's move."

CHAPTER SIX
CHASE
Stephanie was a terrible morning person. I always have to tempt her out
of bed with coffee and food and finally threats of ice water in her face if
nothing else works. This morning she actually beat me out of the sheets
for once. I found her sitting quietly at the kitchen table, wearing
nothing but one of my old white t-shirts.
"Hey, baby," I greeted her, grabbing a coffee cup as she slowly raised
her head and regarded me with eyes that looked too tired to remember
who I was.
"Hi," she said softly.
I filled the mug with coffee and handed it to her but she s hook her
head.
"Too tired to drink coffee," she yawned, then folded her arms on the
table and rested her head on them.
"That's why one absorbs coffee, Steph. All the malicious caffeine soaks
into your bloodstream and forces you to greet the day."
"Hmph," she grunted.

I poured a bowl of cereal and tried to interest her in it but s he jus t s
hook her head. I set the coffee mug down and stood behind her, rubbing
her shoulders.
"You sick?" I asked.
"No," she sighed, relaxing into my massage. "God, Chase, you're so
good at that."
She didn't mean it to sound sexy but one of the age-old struggles of the
morning was between man and dick. Mine chose that moment to offer a
hearty salute.
I was weighing the pros and cons of pulling her shirt up and letting my
boner press against her skin when she suddenly exhaled noisily and
rose from the table.
"What's wrong?" I asked her.
She pushed ribbons of uncooperative hair out of her face and glanced at
the clock above the stove. "I've got to get ready for work."
"No, Stephanie. What's wrong?"
She stood there in our kitchen apartment, barefooted, arms crossed,
staring at me. It was just one of the many moments in our life together
when I had no fucking clue what was going on inside her head. Mostly
that excited me. Sometimes it made me uneasy.

This was one of those times.
"I hate my job," she finally said.
I stirred my own cup of coffee. "Since when?"
She shrugged. "Since every day. It's one absurd meeting after another
with everyone trying to outdo each other on the corporate cleverness
scale and avoid anything resembling real work."
I wondered if now was a good time to ask her about the law school
brochures I'd found in the trash last week. For a long time that had been
Stephanie's objective; law school at ASU and then a job with the public
defender's office. Her father was still in prison in upstate New York for
whatever his part was in spearheading a huge illegal sports gambling
ring and fixing the outcomes. When I'd met Stephanie she was just
emerging from some trouble she'd gotten into as a local bookie. Her
brother Michael was still in the business. He didn't come around often
and that was fine with me. From the beginning he'd struck me as a hard
character whose shadows were destined to swallow him whole.
"You could always quit," I said carefully. "Look for another job."
It wasn't the right time to bring up touchy subjects. If

Stephanie wanted to talk about law school then she probably wouldn't
have tossed all her paperwork in the trash.
"Yeah," she nodded, somewhat absently. "Jobs are hard to come by
though. Never mind."
She started shuffling tiredly away. Then she stopped when she was
halfway down the hallway, turned and looked at me through a curtain
of hair. "I'm sorry."
I was perplexed. "For what, honey?"
But she just shook her head and retreated to the bathroom. I stayed in
the kitchen, just listening to the water run and feeling like a horny dick
for picturing Stephanie naked and glistening as she stepped out of the
shower. It was a nice picture but there was something I wanted even
more than I wanted to make her gasp with ecstasy and give me the
same. I wanted to make her happy.
Stephanie seemed like she was in a better mood when she emerged,
fully dressed and gorgeous. She grabbed a power bar from the kitchen
cabinet and tossed it in her purse while s he pulled her heels on.
"You're at the camp today?" she asked.
I nodded. "Yeah."

School didn't start until August so for the summer I'd gotten a job
helping to coordinate a teen summer program at the big library
downtown.
"And tonight you'll be out with Cord and Creed?"
She seemed almost melancholy over the idea. It wasn't too often that
we spent our evenings apart.
"Yip," I said. "But the offer still stands if you want to come along. The
boys wouldn't mind."
She approached me and bestowed a dry kiss on my cheek. "I told you
it's fine. I'll eat my leftover pepper steak and binge on the MLB
network. Have you seen my phone?"
"Living room end table."
I stayed in the kitchen while Stephanie bustled around, gathering keys
and phone and purse. I'd have to hustle to get ready as soon as she
stepped out the door but for the moment I watched her while she didn't
realize she was being watched. She was distracted, preoccupied. She'd
been that way often lately and it wasn't like her. Steph was sharp and
intens e, not dreamy and vague.
"Bye. Love you." She blew a kiss my way and opened the door.
"Hey Steph!"

The girl I loved turned around and cocked her head as she waited for
me to say something.
Marry me.
"Have a good day."
She gave me a half smile. "You too."
Why the hell couldn't I just say it? Whenever I got the idea into my
head the mood always seemed to be off or the timing wasn't ideal or the
planets weren't aligned in the proper astronomical sequence. There
wasn't another girl anywhere I would ever want to spend my life with.
I'd known that early on with Stephanie. I was never unsure about her.
And I knew she loved me to the fucking moon and back or else she
wouldn't still be here. So why couldn't either of us seem to take the leap
over the hill? Cord had hooked up with Saylor and gone right to work
with rings and babies. Creed put a diamond claim on Truly within a
year and just a few months ago I stood on a hill in Sedona, watching my
brooding, inscrutable brother shine with happiness as he vowed to
forever keep the woman of his dreams.
The clock reminded me there really wasn't time for angst-filled
contemplation. I wasn't going anywhere. Stephanie

wasn't going anywhere. Well, actually we were both going somewhere
because we'd be moving into our new place in a few weeks. But we
were solid. We loved each other, we liked each other and we still
fucked with fanatical fervor.
Yet s omehow I wanted more. I want it all with her.
After downing my coffee and shoving a handful of over-sugared cereal
in my face I hosed off in the shower and threw on some clothes. Rush
hour was still in full swing so it took a lot of stop and go traffic before I
reached downtown. Just before I ducked into the library I glanced over
at the cluster of high rises on Central Avenue and thought about
Stephanie in there, enduring one miserable, pointless meeting after
another. Maybe she was sitting at some conference table and slipping
her heels off while some dickhead droned on about spreadsheets and
profit margins. Maybe her mind was wandering back to our little role
playing exercise last night and she was pressing her knees together to
squash the sudden ache at her core while she licked her lips and
recalled the taste of my cock...
Hooray! Just in case there was any doubt that I was still ruled by my
dick he made it clear that dissent was intolerable. One quick flashback
to Stephanie's sexy body

and he was ready to roll.
I lingered outside for a few minutes and focused on unsexy things like
the mound of bird shit by the door and the homeless fellow cheerfully
eating an entire red velvet cake on a nearby bench. Once I was the
master of my own domain again I pulled a ten dollar bill out of my
wallet and handed it to the guy before heading inside.
The camp was just a daytime program designed for local kids who were
looking for something to do this summer besides hang out in the
industrial hellholes of Phoenix and melt in the heat. These were my
kind of kids; a little rough around the edges but eager to learn. Being
among them made me excited for the chance to stand in front of my
own classroom and tell them what I knew. They were the kind of kids I
couldn't wait to get invested in.
"Hey, Chase." Bastian Bordeaux, the program's chief coordinator,
greeted me on my way in. He never tried to hide the gang tattoos that
decorated his neck or the needle scars on his arms. Once a teenage
runaway, drug addict and hell raiser, he was now a middle-aged father
of three and was responsible for a number of community youth
outreach programs. He told me once there was nothing to be gained

by smothering the echoes of the past. They'll just choke you. I've come
by a few scars myself, both inside and out, s o I know what he means.
"Hey," I said, shaking his hand smoothly.
Bastian motioned down the hall. "Get your group assignment. We'll
head down to the light rail in about fifteen minutes."
There were six of them in my charge for the trip we were taking up the
road to the art museum. They were all around thirteen to fifteen years
old, a rowdy bunch who took up space and made a lot of noise because
they were trying to figure out where they stood in the world.
"Mr. Gentry," sang out one of the girls as the light rail lurched slowly
through downtown Phoenix, "where's the bathroom?"
"You'll have to wait until we reach the museum, Inez." "Hey, Mr.
Gentry," called out another voice. "I need a drink of water"
"Arun, they'll have water at the museum."
"I'm thirsty now"
"You can wait ten minutes."
"Naw, I can't. It's dangerous to get dehydrated in the

desert. You told us that."
"We're not in the desert. We're in an air conditioned train on Central
Avenue."
The kid hammed it up, sprawling across the seats right into the lap of
Inez, who squealed and shoved him away. He closed his eyes. "I might
get heat stroke."
My mouth tipped into a smile. "You'll be fine. I promise. Hey kids,
listen up. Remember the rules in there. No cell phones, stay with me
and keep the noise to a minimum."
They laughed and jostled each other as we reached our s top and headed
to the art museum. They quieted down when we got inside the building
though, listening respectfully as the docent took us through the
temporary exhibit on twentieth century photography. We spent three
hours walking through the bright galleries, running into Bastian's group
and some of the others a few times. We ate a brief lunch at the café
before returning to the library. The kids chattered brightly on the ride
back and compared notes about what they'd seen. Then they spent the
afternoon at the library composing a ten-minute skit about
contemporary art, which they performed in one of the large meeting
rooms in front of all forty members of the camp.

The day went fast and didn't even seem like work. At five o 'clock we
bid farewell to all the kids and cleaned up everything from the
afternoon's activities. Bastian was talking to one of the other counselors
but he stopped and headed my way when he saw me.
"You know," he said with smiling warmth, "you're a natural teacher,
Chase. The kids love you. That's a gift."
The compliment was one of the best ones anyone had ever thrown my
way. I didn't really know how to say what teaching meant to me so I
just flashed a grin and said "Thanks," before carrying a bag of trash out
to the dumpster.
A short time later as I idled in traffic with the air conditioner working
hard to overcome the hellacious heat, Bastian's words came back to me.
My brothers and I were once a set of hard-luck kids that no one had
much hope for. Back in our hometown, the Gentry name was infamous
for violence, abuse and the kind of poverty that had nothing to do with
money and everything to do with bad character. Our father was nothing
but evil atop a pair of brutally strong legs and it was widely assumed
that the apples don't fall far from the tree. Even once we were out of
Emblem, we floundered

for a while, trying to scrape together a living with odd jobs and with our
fists in the underground fighting rings that are so common to university
towns. I hoped Bastian was right, that I have what it takes to stand in
front of a room full of kids who might not see much point to showing
up and convince them otherwise, to persuade them that there are
beautiful things in the world and that their minds are precious.
Maybe it was the height of arrogance to believe I could change
anything for anyone. But I was damn well going to
try.
I had daydreamed my way through the worst of the traffic headed
eastbound out of Phoenix. As I steered toward the ramp that bent in the
direction of Tempe I noted the gleaming ASU football stadium. Now
that I was back among the familiar landmarks of the university I started
to get a little jazzed about an evening with my boys. The only thing I
mis s ed about the old days was being with my brothers every day. But
it always gave me comfort to know that we would fall back into our
same patterns as soon as we were together. We joked, sometimes
roughly, and laughed and were generally obnoxious but the three of us
loved each

other to fucking pieces. Always had. Always would.
There wasn't much in the way of parking outside of Scratch, Cord and
Deck's tattoo parlor, so I parked up the street, right behind Creed's
pickup. He must not have cleaned the thing in months; a layer of
Sonoran dust covered the back window. So of course I felt obliged to
lean over and trace the words 'Wash Me' with my finger. Then, for
good measure, I added the crude outline of a penis because somewhere
in my heart still lurked the spirit of a thirteen-year-old brat.
As I whistled my way down the sidewalk I passed a tasty little coed
who threw a pair of interested brown eyes my way. I nodded curtly and
looked at the ground. She didn't stand a chance. No one had since the
moment I kissed a beautiful, stubborn girl in a Las Vegas hotel room
nearly four years ago.
When I reached the door of Scratch the light of impending evening was
soft enough that I could see right through the glass with no glare. And
right there was Creed's cranky backside just waiting to be clobbered.
Since we were born Creedence has been the biggest and the strongest
of the three of us, but I could always hold my

own. We didn't knock each other around like we did when we were kids
but every once in a while I still liked to yank his chain when the chance
came up. So I flung the door open just hard enough to bash him on his
muscled ass.
He swiveled around to scowl at me in a way that only Creedence
Gentry could scowl. Damn, I loved that guy.
Something was wrong though. Cord was standing ten feet away with a
grim look on his face. Cord didn't rattle easily.
"So what'd I miss?" I asked slowly. Creed glanced at Cord.
"Nothing yet," he said, motioning to the door. "Let's move."
"Where might we be moving to?"
Cord slapped a hand on my shoulder. "Creed and I are taking a trip
down to grand old Emblem. There's a couple of errant Gentrys who
need some bail money."
All my senses went on high alert. Emblem wasn't a place I visited
regularly. Or ever. "What Gentrys?"
"Elijah's boys," answered Creed with a touch of impatience. He never
enjoyed explaining anything. "Deck apparently looks after them and
they need some cash to get

out of trouble."
I tried to picture the children of my father's quiet cousin. "What are they
now, like ten years old?"
"Seventeen," answered Cord.
"Shit." I shook my head. "Time sure as hell flies."
"Yes." Creed looked pointedly at his watch. "It's flying right now."
"What are their names again?"
"Mo and Curly. Can we go?"
"Sure. By the way I'm coming with you."
Cord smiled. "We figured you would."

CHAPTER SEVEN
CORD
I hadn't eaten since this morning. Since it was always the plan to head
out to dinner with the boys, Creed was agreeable to pulling into the
drive thru of the nearest hamburger joint.
"Get me a double with cheese," I said, trying to hand him a twenty.
He waved me off. "I got it. What'll you have, Junior?" he asked Chase.
That was a lifelong joke between the three of us. Chase had been
bunched up in our mother's upper ribcage and was the last one to be
surgically removed from the womb.
Chase chose not to get riled up. "I will have a salad," he said mildly
from the backseat, where he was thumbing through a National
Geographic magazine he'd lifted from the lobby of Scratch.
We'd reached the colorful menu billboard attached to the outside
speaker but instead of opening the window to order,

Creed swiveled around and scowled. "What?"
"A salad," Chase repeated. "With balsamic vinaigrette dressing. No
cheese."
"It's Fab Burger, you asshole. There's no balsamic salads on offer
here."
Chase looked up from his magazine. "Can we go somewhere else?"
"No."
"But I've gone vegan." "What are you talking about?"
"I am shunning the consumption of animal byproducts."
"Huh? Why?"
"A myriad of reasons."
Creed was getting mad. "What fucking reasons?" "I would elaborate
but they would sail right over your fat head."
"Dammit Chase, you have not gone vegan, whatever the hell that is."
"Why are you so unsupportive of my dietary choices, Creedence?"
"Just get him a triple with bacon," I interrupted. After twenty-six years
Creed ought to be able to deal with Chase's

antics. "He'll eat it."
"I'll eat it," Chase agreed, shrugging.
Creed grunted and placed the order while Chase chuckled quietly.
When we pulled up to the window the girl leaned her head out and
appraised us, her eyes widening. I was used to it, particularly when the
three of us were together. We weren't identical but we looked enough
alike and took up enough muscular space to make quite an impression.
The girl was actively blushing as she dropped Creed's change.
"Ohmygosh!" she exclaimed like it was one syllable. "I'm s o s orry."
"No big deal," said Creed, not bothering to open up the door and pick
up the scattered quarters. He grabbed the bags of food and tossed them
right into my lap. The smell of fried greasiness made my stomach wake
up and start grumbling. Saylor had been on a home cooking kick for a
while, wanting the girls to have something better in their diet than fast
food or cereal. Saylor wasn't an instinctive cook so results had been
mixed. I always grudgingly chewed whatever kind of organic stew she
set in front of me but

there was no taste on earth that could compare to the first hungry bite of
a greasy hamburger.
Creed drove with one hand and shoved food into his mouth with the
other From the time he was a kid he could eat faster than humans were
supposed to eat but I guess all that strength needed a lot of fuel. I tossed
a bag back to Chas e and he dug in cheerfully, like I knew he would.
As we reached the freeway heading east it really started to sink in that
we were going back to Emblem.
Emblem.
The landscape of our childhood. The place my nightmares lived. Chas e
mus t have read my mind because he loudly crumpled up a bag. "We're
not going any further than Main
Street."
It wasn't a question. We would visit the police station where Gaps
presumably waited with all the paperwork. From there he would
release those boys who were passing the hours in a neighboring jail.
There was no reason whatsoever to venture south of the center of town,
deeper into the desert, where the remnants of Gentrys gone bad still
lived in their sordid shithouses. That was where we grew

up. That was where our parents remained.
"Only Main Street," Creed confirmed with a sidelong glance at me.
I sipped my soda and stared out the window at the pastel colors of the
evening. My brothers had been through the s ame hell I had and it
cemented a bond that was even thicker than biology. They knew some
things about me that even my wife didn't know and were likely attuned
to the fact that a cold sweat had broken out on the back of my neck, a
purely animal instinct connected to the word Emblem.
I hated him. My father. Our father.
I hadn't spoken his name in years but the knowledge that he lived
haunted me in small ways every day. My feelings for my mother were
more complex In a way I hated her too, for her weakness, for loving her
drugs and her vicious tormenter more than she ever loved us.
I didn't understand it as a child.
I still didn't understand as an adult.
And now, as a parent myself, I felt a special kind of rage for the people
who could give a child life and never cherish him.
The hand on my shoulder startled me. It was Chase. He

gave me a reassuring pat and then sank back into his seat. I took a deep
breath, temporarily banished thoughts of Benton and Maggie Gentry
and turned to face my brother.
"Hey, how's Steph? Feel like I've barely seen her in months."
Chas e s hifted and I thought I detected a fleeting look of worry. But
then it was replaced with a cocky grin.
"She's good. Might be a little worn out today after all our erotic
acrobatics last night but no worries. She's used to my punishing
stamina."
Creed rolled his eyes and snorted. "Keep your stamina back there
where it belongs."
"Don't be jealous, Creedence."
"Fuck you."
"No thanks. You're not pretty enough."
I laughed out loud, feeling good all of a sudden, despite the fact that we
were driving straight to Emblem. In some ways we would always be
boys. I laughed so hard I started coughing.
"Look at that," Chase accused. "You broke Cord. Saylor's gonna kill
you. It'll just be one more reason why I'm her favorite brother-in-law."

"Bullshit. Saylor never said that." "She did. Truly told me." "My wife
wouldn't tell you a damn thing." "Truly adores me."
"Why don't you put a ring on your own business, Junior, and stay out of
mine?"
It was the kind of mocking barb we'd been hurling at each other since
we could talk. Chase was never one to back down from verbal combat
but he quieted right down. Creed mus t have hit a nerve without really
meaning to.
I was done coughing so I turned around to see Chase kind of slumped in
the backseat. He shook it off when he saw me staring though.
I raised an eyebrow "Everything okay?"
"Of course," he answered automatically. Whatever was eating him
must have something to do with Stephanie. The two of them had
always been somewhat volatile in a way but I suppose every
relationship was different. It seemed like they'd settled into a happy life
and I expected they would s tay together. They loved each other
fiercely and at this point I couldn't imagine Chase with any other
woman but Stephanie. I knew he couldn't imagine it either I hoped that

would be enough.
Creed could be sensitive when he wanted to be. He realized that the
mood had soured and so he switched topics. He asked Chase questions
about the teaching job he'd be starting in a few months. Chase perked
up and started talking about how he couldn't wait to be in front of a
classroom. I was so proud of him. And those kids he'd be teaching were
damn lucky to have him.
As the miles passed, the scenery was largely the same. One sprawling
stucco suburban tract after another, punctuated by strip malls. We ran
into some traffic due to all the folks headed out to their far-flung
subdivisions after working all day. I didn't mind. It was nice being with
my brothers and we'd still make it there in plenty of time.
As Creed exited the freeway in favor of the two lane road that led to
Emblem the mountains were just beginning to melt into the darkness.
The neat little communities became fewer and farther apart, surrounded
by the endless inky expanse of the desert.
When we closed in on Emblem the first thing I saw was the harsh light
radiating from the sprawling prison. A good chunk of the locals were
employed by the prison in some

way, including Saylor's father. John McCann and I weren't enemies but
we weren't friendly either. Saylor invited her father up to Tempe far
more often than he agreed to visit and sometimes I wondered if that had
something to do with me. Saylor's father and my father had an
unsavory history that I didn't know much about, other than they'd
known each other as kids. Her mother had all but disowned her when s
he found out Saylor was marrying a filthy Gentry.
Impulsively I withdrew my phone, figuring I ought to text Say and let
her know exactly where I was. Then I thought better of it. She'd wait up
and worry if she knew I was down in Emblem. There was no harm in
letting her think I was happily carousing around Tempe with the boys.
I didn't even realize I was squeezing the soda cup until it crumpled in
my hands and spilled ice into my lap. If Creed had something to say
about it he chose not to. He merely opened the window so I could toss
the ice out onto the pavement.
"Is that Gaps?" Chase pointed.
"That's Gaps," I confirmed, squinting out the window at a lone figure
leaning against a police cruiser at the boxy Emblem police station.

Gaps saw us coming and raised a hand in greeting. The sunlight was
rapidly disappearing but I could recognize the weak chin and sagging
gut that were the hallmarks of all the men in his family. Funny thing,
heredity. You're handed all these pieces of yourself and believe they're
unique to you, but everything about you belonged to someone else first.
Gaps leaned inside the window when Creed rolled it down. "Hey,
boys."
"Should we go inside?" Creed asked, motioning to the s tation right
after he cut the engine.
Gaps frowned slightly. "Nah, let's keep this away from all the eyes."
I waved around the bundle of cash. "Shouldn't we get off Main Street
then?"
Instead of answering, Gaps opened up the door to the back cab and
climbed in. He produced an envelope and held it up. "So who will do
the honors?"
Chas e took the envelope and opened the contents cautiously. Creed
flipped on the overhead light since it was really too dark to read
properly. I swiveled around and watched Chase while he scanned the
documents. After a moment he nodded.

"So you're releasing them to our custody?"
"Cappie - you remember Cappie, my brother-in-law - he's the judge and
he's releasing them to the custody of a blood relative for a nominal
bail."
"You call eight grand nominal?"
"In terms of bail, hell yes. Those jackasses could have killed someone
with their little joyride. They were racing the Cortez boys when a cat
froze in their path and rather than flatten the mangy thing they swerved
into a canal." Gaps chuckled and I was hit with the smell of sauerkraut.
"Of course, it was rather entertaining to watch The Gnome get his
horns all twisted up."
The Gnome was a rather insulting nickname that's long been applied to
a local businessman who'd also been the town mayor for years. In a
weird twist of fate, he also happened to be Saylor's stepfather.
I could see Chase's skepticism. He narrowed his eyes and glanced at us
before turning back to Gaps. "Does this mean we're responsible for
babysitting them until their court
date?"
"Nah." Gaps waved a hand. "Just a formality. Tracy Gentry can be a
little hot-headed but she'll open up the door

if her sons come knocking."
I tried to picture my dead cousin's wife. All I remembered about her
was frosted hair and really long red fingernails.
Gaps sighed in the backseat. "Look, Cappie's doing this as a favor."
"Why would he do that?" Chase countered. "From what I remember
there's no love lost between Emblem law enforcement and the Gentry
family."
Gaps snorted and wagged a finger. "Don't underestimate the reach of
Deck Gentry. You boys call him, by the way?"
"No. Deck's on vacation."
Something about that statement struck Gaps as enormously funny. He
guffawed and clutched his bobbling belly like some ugly Santa Claus
from a dystopian universe.
Creed shot me a look. He was ready to leave the Gaps-featured part of
the evening behind.
Luckily Gaps suddenly shifted to professionalism. He held out a pen,
watched while Chase signed and accepted the wad of cash. It all
seemed rather unofficial and unseemly to me but what the hell did I
know.
A moment later he rolled his body out of the truck and motioned for us
to follow him to the Agave County

Detention Facility. Emblem happened to be the seat of the poorest
county in the state, but that turned out to be pretty convenient
sometimes because the majority of those who were arrested and
processed happened to be Emblem residents.
"Do they know we're coming?" Creed asked as we followed Gaps
around to the back.
"I told them you were on your way," Gaps said. "Con looked relieved
but Stone just crossed his arms and shrugged. Hey, when was the last
time you saw them? I know you guys don't make it down here too
often."
"It's been a while," I admitted slowly, feeling suddenly s trange over
the concept of coming face to face with cousins I hadn't given a thought
to in years.
Gaps squinted, punched in a code and waited for the click.
"Well," he said, beckoning that we ought to follow him as he flashed a
crooked grin. "You ready to meet some
Gentrys?"

CHAPTER EIGHT
CREED
They were exactly what I expected.
Young but filled with all kinds of cocky arrogance, s trutting around
with a bravado that probably never really touched their hearts.
Something kind of struck me when I firs t s et eyes on Conway and
Stone Gentry after the better part of a decade. I glanced over at Cord
and Chase to see if it was hitting them the same way. Cord raised his
eyebrows. Chas e s mirked.
The brothers kidded around and slapped Gaps on the back as they were
released from the bleak cell they'd been sitting in since early this
morning. I could tell they were so relieved they wanted to kiss the
fucking floor but they'd be damned if they'd show it.
They were just like us.
Well, just like what we'd once been.
Stone was slightly taller and there was something vaguely sharp about
the way his light blue eyes appraised us. I would have guessed him to
be the tougher of the two, the one who probably had the idea to steal an
expensive

vehicle and race it down the main drag where they were almost certain
to get caught.
The other one, Conway, had a loose, careless look about him; ripped
jeans, laughter in his expression. He pushed the shaggy dark blonde
hair out of his eyes and offered us a wide smile.
"Shit, it's the famous triplets," he said, closing in to shake hands while
Stone hung back and coolly watched. "How the hell are ya?"
"Famous? Hey guys, did you know we were famous?" Cord asked in a
shocked voice but I could tell he was amused.
Conway nodded eagerly and poked his brother in the side. Stone
frowned at him and tipped his head with what was probably supposed
to be a silent warning. Conway just s hrugged.
"It's true," Conway insisted. "You're legends in the stuffy halls of
Emblem High, even after all these years."
Chase snorted with laughter. "All these years. Such ancient history.
Predates electricity."
Conway paused and stared at him, probably trying to decide if he was
kidding or not. "Yeah," he finally said.

I snapped my fingers to get everyone jarred out of this sweet family
reunion. "Let's move out. Don't want to spend the night at the back door
of a jail." I motioned to Gaps. "We all squared away here?"
Gaps glanced at the envelope of cash. I wondered if any of it was
destined for his pocket, but I figured if that was the case he must have
cleared the arrangement with Deck a long time ago. I didn't begrudge
him a share in any event. He'd done okay by our family tonight.
"Don't do this shit again," he said to the boys in his best cop voice,
which he'd perfected after years of service.
Conway widened his eyes and adopted a contrite look. "Of course not,
Officer. We're sorry. I don't know what we were thinking. Stone, do
you know what we were thinking?"
"Sure," said Stone. "I was thinking about how much hot ass I was
gonna get out of this."
Conway bit his lip and shot his brother a look. "He didn't mean that."
Stone wasn't finished though. "Yeah I meant it. When girls get close to
trouble they just can't seem to keep their tits contained. Hell of an
incentive."
"Shut the fuck up," Conway whispered under his breath

but Gaps was trying to hold his laughter in.
"Gentrys," he said to himself with a bemused headshake. He swept one
arm wide. "They're all yours."
"All right," I said, roughly grabbing Conway by the back of the neck
because he was closest and I wanted to get the hell out of there.
"Just remember," called Gaps as we filed out the door, "you guys are
still heading for a court date and while I've come by some news that this
little incident will probably just net you some community service, next
time it's the big house."
Chase and Cord were already outside. I released Conway from my grip
and bumped him out the door, turning back to make sure Stone was
following closely.
But my young cousin flashed me a rascally smile and then doubled
back.
"Hey, Gaps, " Stone shouted. "You know, Ma was just saying the other
day how she wished you'd start coming around again, just like you used
to."
Gaps raised his eyebrows and a hopeful grin lit up his face. "Really?"
"Hell no," said Stone and jumped back, closing the door

behind him.
"That was fucked up," complained Conway.
Stone grabbed him in a rough headlock. "Did I hear you tell me to shut
up in there, you little puke?"
Conway grunted and propelled the two of them into the side of the
building where Stone's back crashed against the concrete surface.
"Fucker," Stone cursed, trying to regain the upper hand.
"Dick breath," Conway responded, head butting his brother's chest
again.
"Jesus," I muttered, hoping the evening wouldn't go any further off the
rails then it already had. I grabbed Stone by his collar while Cord
stepped in and dragged Conway off.
"Guess what," said Chase, glancing around. "Doesn't look like there's
anyone waiting in line to pick these two devils up."
Stone shook himself free. "We're fine to walk home."
"We're fine," Conway agreed, joining his brother. The two of them
looked at each other and cracked up. Yeah, they were just like us all
right. Wrestling like bear cubs one minute and filled with fraternal
camaraderie the next.
Stone waved as the two of them started heading toward

the sidewalk. "Thanks for bailing us out though. Much appreciated."
"Wait a minute," Cord objected. "I'm not going to risk getting called
back here in an hour because you two decided to cap off the night with
another grand theft auto."
"Don't be ridiculous," Conway deadpanned. "We are way too tired to
go out driving tonight." He yawned and stretched his arms. "Besides,
we've definitely learned our lesson."
"That's right," Stone agreed. "Our lawless days are over. You won't
catch me so much as jaywalking for the rest of my
life."
I decided I was finished mentoring the next generation of Gentrys. "Are
you getting in the truck so we can drive you home or are we going to
have to carry you there?"
The two of them stared at me, stared at each other Then they put their
heads together and pretended to have a whis pered consultation.
"Carry us," they said in unison before proceeding to sink down to the
curb and sprawl there lifelessly.
I would have. I would have hauled their pubescent carcasses over each
shoulder and dragged them to the truck

bed for the drive to their mother's house.
Chas e, however, had a different tactic in mind. He held up one finger
that said 'Give me a minute' and sat down casually on the curb beside
our limp cousins. I looked at Cord. He shrugged.
"So," said Chase, drumming his fingers on one knee. "Tell me, boys.
Food in there any better than it used to be?"
Conway opened an eye. "You've been in jail?"
"Once did a six hour stretch for defacing the water tower with an
artistic rendering of a set of six foot hairy testicles. They had to let us
go when old man Albertson turned up at the bus station with can of
black spray paint, trying to duplicate his artwork. Someone said he was
suffering from dementia so they let him off. I'll have to remember to
use that handy excuse myself in forty or fifty years."
Chas e looked over at me and Cord. "You guys remember
that?"
"Cardboard fish sticks and rubber tortillas," said Cord with a laugh.
"That's what I remember. Better than going hungry though."
"Barely," grunted Stone but he'd propped himself up on one elbow and
was listening.

"I'll tell you what," Chase continued. "You guys hop into that truck to
give some of us old timers a little peace of mind and we'll take you out
for some food."
"Chase," I argued, "I'm not waiting around and there's no fucking fast
food in Emblem."
"Not true. I can see the lights of Dino Gas from here."
"Hell yes," Conway cheered, scrambling to his feet, "they've got the
best cheeseburger hot dogs. They keep those things rolling on the
heater twenty four hours a day."
"Cheeseburger hot dogs?" I repeated. I tried to imagine the taste then
decided I didn't really want to.
Conway kicked lightly at his brother. "Come on dude, let's go. I'm so
hungry I could eat a cat."
Stone rolled off the curb and then sprang upright with a playful grin.
"Well I'm so hungry I could eat a wet, juicy-"
"Don't want to know," I interrupted.
"Steak," the kid finished innocently. "That's all I was gonna say."
"Let's go," Chase said with brisk authority, as if he was in charge and
we were all required to listen.
When we reached the truck the two jokers climbed into the backseat of
the cab beside Chase instead of hopping

into the rear bed like I expected them to. While I piloted the pickup the
short mile over to Dino Gas with Cord sitting quietly in the seat beside
me, Chase and the kids were gabbing in the backseat like they were
best buddies. I was amazed. When did my brother get such a magic
touch with pain in the ass teenagers?
In a very short period of time I learned the boys were both going to be
seniors at Emblem High. They lived with their mother and her
revolving door of boyfriends. And they didn't seem to have a worry or a
care for what they were going to do after they graduated next year.
When we stopped at Dino Gas I took the opportunity to top off the tank
while Cord searched for a restroom and Chase escorted the boys inside
to acquire some of the infamous cheeseburger hot dogs.
After swiping my card I watched the gas pump numbers start to roll and
then looked around, relieved that I didn't recognize anyone in sight. I
wasn't really up for an Emblem reunion tonight. Or ever.
Chase and the boys emerged, each of them laughing while clutching
sodas and things that looked like bun-wrapped dog shit.

I'd barely noticed the squad of teenagers gathered at the far end of the
lot until they started hooting and howling.
"Hey, it's the Jailbird Gentrys!"
"How was that hard time, boys?"
"Looks like they're having some trouble walking."
Stone stuck his hot dog in his mouth and used his newly free hand to
flip them off. I could tell it was all in fun though. These were friends of
theirs.
A petite brunette detached from the group and went running to
Conway. He pushed his food into Stone's arms and grabbed her up as
she shrieked and wrapped her legs around him.
"I missed you so much," she gushed like he'd been locked up for six
years.
"I missed you too, baby," he assured her and then they started
obnoxiously sucking face the way teenagers do, like they were trying to
inhale the other person.
Meanwhile, Stone nodded a cool farewell to the group and joined me at
the pump. He jerked his head in his brother's direction.
"Misleading," he said and then took a thoughtful drink from his straw.

"What?"
Stone Gentry smiled. "They haven't even fucked yet. He's all in love
and all that sensitive bullshit. But I keep telling the boy he needs to just
pop the damn cherry before someone else gets to it first."
I shoved the nozzle back into place. "What the - shit, why are you
telling me that? I don't want to know that."
Stone was having fun. "We're all adults here, Cord. What, you never
fucked in your day?"
"First, I'm not Cord. Second, you're not an adult. And third I've been
fucking since before you discovered your own dick."
As s oon as I stopped talking I realized how loud my voice was. The
group of teenagers were all agape, staring at me moon-faced and
shocked. Cord, who was on his way back from the restroom, stopped
and let out a snort of laughter. Chase took a bite of a cheeseburger hot
dog, clearly enjoying every minute.
"Get in the truck," I demanded.
Stone just stood there, sucking on his straw and acting like he didn't
have to listen to me any more than he would listen to a squirrel.

Cord had joined us by now. "Hey," he said to Stone, "you still live over
in The Hills?"
There were no hills in The Hills. Some of the tidy block houses had
graded landscaping that gave the appearance of depth. That's all. It was
one of the nicer neighborhoods in Emblem, populated by the families
who lived slightly better than paycheck to paycheck. The only Gentry I
ever knew of who'd made it up to The Hills was Elijah.
Stone sucked away on his straw, watching calmly while ten yards away
his brother kept kissing that girl like he might eat her.
Chase appeared. He tossed a candy bar to me and another one to Cord.
His way of saying thanks for having some patience with the kids.
He had a serious look on his face when he cleared his throat and spoke
to Stone. "I haven't said it yet, but I'm damn sorry about your father."
Stone stiffened. "Yeah," he muttered, kicking at some loose chunks of
concrete. "My father."
I was n't s ure exactly when Elijah Gentry had died. He'd been well on
his way for years, the victim of some terrible degenerative disease that
took a long time to deliver its final

sentence. Everything I knew of him indicated he was a mild-mannered
man. And kind, or at least not violent. Somewhere in the hazy annals of
history I seemed to recall that I'd seen Elijah with his young sons and
been jealous of the tender way he rested one hand on each of their thin s
houlders.
Even though it had been at least a few years maybe the hurt was still
fresh. Maybe that was the reason why Stone grimaced at the ground.
Or maybe it was something else, like the rusty rumor mill regarding
their mother, Tracy Gentry, and my Uncle Chrome. The boys were
definitely Gentry, but there might be a genetic debate about which
Gentry had done the honors. At least that's what I'd heard.
I opened up the door to the truck. "Come on," I said in a halfway gentle
tone. "Should get you boys home. School tomorrow, right?"
Stone lost his grim look and became cheerful. "Nope. It's s ummer."
"Right," I nodded. "I forgot."
Chase put a hand on the kid's shoulder. "Come on. We'll get you home
anyway."

Stone yawned. "Fine. And yeah, I'm over on Citrus Road." He tossed
the remnants of his food in the trash and called to his brother. "Let's go,
loverboy."
Conway and the girl paused in their tongue fest and stared soulfully
into each other's eyes. Slowly she allowed her legs to fall from his waist
and stood beside him as they quietly grasped hands. He whispered
something in her ear and she tossed her cloud of light brown hair,
giggling. As he nudged her in our direction she shyly hung onto his arm
and watched us with soft brown eyes.
"This is my girlfriend," Conway said proudly. "This is Erin. Babe,
these guys are my cousins. They're the ones who bailed us out tonight.
The dude with all the tattoos is Cord. That's Chase on the far side of the
truck. And the big guy is Creed."
We all waved in turn.
"Nice to meet you, Erin," Chase said. "You go to Emblem
High too?"
Erin tucked her hair behind her ear. Then untucked it. She seemed like
the kind of girl who spent half the day doing nervous things with her
hair to pass the time.
"Yes," she said.

"You going to be a senior too?"
She nodded, relaxing a little. "Yeah. I live next door to
Con."
"Been together for two years," Conway said and I could tell he was as
proud of the fact as he was crazy about the girl beside him. He wasn't a
bad kid. Any teenage boy who had already learned how to love would
probably end up being okay, as long as he stopped taking shit that
wasn't his.
Erin tipped her head up to smile at her boyfriend and the two of them
shared a gooey-eyed look. I knew that look. It was a 'You 're my world
'kind of a look. The only woman who'd ever looked at me that way was
my wife.
"I think I can convince Conway to head up to ASU with me," Erin said
shyly.
"That's good news," Cord told them. "I run a tattoo place close to the
school so you'd have family close by, Conway."
"Got to get my grades up a little," Conway admitted. "But I think I can
do it."
"Of course you can," Chase agreed with enthusiasm.
"Maybe I'll come up there too," piped up Stone. He'd crossed his arms
in front of his chest and pasted an earnest

look on his face that I could see right through. He thought it was all a
big cosmic joke. College, life, love, all of it.
Apparently this Erin girl saw through her boyfriend's brother as well.
She scowled.
"Yeah, right," she scoffed. "ASU requires better than a D average and a
legend of delinquency."
"Why Erin," answered Stone, holding a hand up over his heart in a
gesture of offense, "I thought we'd finally learned to get along."
Erin was more of a spitfire than she first appeared. She dropped
Conway's arm and set her hands on her hips, glaring at Stone.
"We'd get along much better if you'd quit dragging Con into your
bullshit."
"What?" Stone sputtered. "What the hell are you talking about? I don't
drag Con into jack shit, sweetheart. Your golden boy can manage his
own life, no matter how much time you waste trying to convince him
otherwise."
"Hey," Con interrupted. He shot his brother a harsh look. "Knock it off,
Stone. You don't mean it."
"I don't mean it," Stone echoed although I wasn't at all sure what he
meant. He obviously had a few personality

is s ues to work out.
"Okay, that's enough tension," Chase scolded. "Everyone in the truck,
including you, Erin. Since you just live next door to the guys, we'll drop
you off."
He climbed into the back cab and shut the door, ending any argument
anyone might have.
Stone rolled his eyes and hopped in the other side. Cord opened his
candy bar and headed to the passenger seat. The happy couple opted to
sit in the back bed, Con lifting Erin gently up even though she was
probably capable of getting in there herself.
It was a quick drive over to The Hills. When we parked in front of a
simple ranch-style house, Stone opened the door. I thought he was
going to take off without saying a word but he suddenly leaned back
into the seat and sighed.
"Thanks for getting my brother out of there," he said tersely and exited
the truck. It was a weird thing to say. Not thanks for getting 'us' out of
there. Could be that he felt like he deserved to be in there for whatever
role he'd played in the Gnome's auto misfortunes. Maybe Con had just
gone along with his brother because that's what brothers do.
I watched Stone in the rearview mirror as he jammed his

hands in his pockets and patiently waited while his brother took forever
and a day to extricate himself and his girlfriend from the back.
Suddenly Con came around to my window, Erin in tow.
"My brother's not really good at gratitude but believe me, we're both
glad you showed up."
"Not a problem, man," said Cord.
"You get those grades up," Chase called from the backseat. "Next thing
I want to hear about you is that you're heading up to Tempe."
"I will," Con promised and slung an arm around Erin's waist.
I leaned out of the truck a few inches to get his attention. "Stay out of
trouble," I told him "Don't do anything that you can't undo. That goes
for you too," I called to Stone who was still rooted to the same spot on
the sidewalk. "I know you heard me."
"I heard you," called Stone and even in the darkness I could tell he had
at least half a cocky smile on his face.
As I pulled away from the curb and gave one final wave to the boys, I
heard the identical sighs of my own brothers and knew at that moment
we were all of the same mind.

We wanted things to work out for those two kids, wanted them to shake
off whatever demons led them to do dumb shit like steal cars, fuck
around, blow off school.
We hoped they'd step back from the ledge that straddled the good world
and the bad.

CHAPTER NINE
CHASE
There wasn't much conversation on the drive home. We were relaxed,
just enjoying the comfort of each other's company. When we reached
the east valley I asked if there was any interest in going for a cup of
coffee but Cord yawned and said he'd already texted Saylor that she
could expect him home within half an hour.
"What about you, monster?" I asked Creed, flicking him in the back of
the neck.
"I'm beat," he answered. "Got shows the next three nights so I should
probably turn in early tonight."
I flopped back into the seat and looked out the window, thinking how
strange was the march of time, that the archetypal party boys of
yesterday were now in for the night by ten o'clock.
Not that I was complaining. In fact my brain offered up an appealing
flashback from last night; Steph naked and on her knees. I hoped she
was still awake.
We passed right by Cord's neighborhood on the way

back to Scratch. I was tempted to ask if we could stop at his house for a
minute. Even though my nieces were surely asleep at this hour I never
passed up the opportunity to look at their precious faces. The sight of
them always stirred s omething s oft yet protective in me. I imagined
the feeling was probably ten times more intense for their father.
But there was really no good reason to disrupt their whole household so
I just waved goodbye to Cord as he hopped out of Creed's truck and
into his own, taking off almost immediately. My car was parked where
I'd left it a few dozen yards away from the door of Scratch but I
lingered in Creed's truck for another moment as we watched Cord's
taillights disappear.
"You did good today," announced Creed suddenly.
Compliments from Creedence didn't come easily so I raised an
eyebrow and waited.
"With the kids," he explained. "I mean I've always thought you would
make an amazing teacher but today when I saw how you were able to
get through to those boys I knew it was true."
"Yeah, well," was all I said because I really couldn't describe how
much those words pleased me.

Creed put his elbow up on the window frame and exhaled thickly. I
knew he was going to switch topics to one I wouldn't like as much.
"Pretty relieved we didn't run into any ghosts tonight," he finally s aid.
A shiver rolled through me, a primitive instinct triggered by the
memory of something bad. Yeah, I was also damn glad that tonight
there'd been no sign of our parents. Most likely they were holed up
several miles deep into the desert, in the filthy shithole we'd been raised
in, a place I had no desire to inhabit again.
"No ghosts," I said, feeling strangely troubled. Violence. Addiction.
Despair. Abuse. Those were all the things that were wrapped together
in my earliest home and the people who created it. If not for Creedence
and Cordero I didn't know if I'd still be alive.
"Why don't we meet up for lunch, maybe next weekend?" Creed
suggested as I opened the door. "We'll drag Cord out of Scratch for an
hour or two, bring our ladies. I know they miss each other."
As proof that our lives had always been hopelessly interconnected, it
was a fact that Truly and Stephanie were

roommates before we'd met either of them Creed got together with
Truly first and I'd already happened to take an interest in Steph when
I'd seen her skulking sexily around campus. All of that seemed like it
had just happened yesterday yet it also seemed like it had always been
true.
"It's a date," I yawned. I wasn't tired though, not really. I wanted to get
back to my apartment and press my head against Stephanie's bare
breasts in ways that were both naughty and nice.
Creed drove away and I jogged back to my car for the short drive back
home. As soon as I parked in front of my building I heard music
blaring. That wasn't unusual, considering this area was almost
exclusively populated with college students who did things like blast
music and vomit in the pool.
As I drew closer to my door though I was startled to realized that the
noise was coming from my place. Of course Steph would have been
home hours ago but it wasn't really her style to blast nineties grunge
music into the atmosphere if she was just sitting in there by herself.
"You 're hanging out with your brothers tomorrow night, right? "

No.
Absurd thought. Unworthy.
Steph had never given me a single reason to doubt that she was faithful
to me. It was a disgraceful thing to even cross my mind.
Still, as I pushed the key into the lock I sensed that s omething was off.
Something that could alter the comfortable order of my personal
universe.
"Hey you," I said, happy to find Stephanie sitting on the couch and
wearing a white t-shirt that wasn't quite long enough to cover her pink
lace panties. It didn't seem like an invitation though. She looked at me
strangely, like I was the last person she expected to see.
I motioned that I was going to turn down the volume on the old stereo
that was wedged in the corner entertainment unit. She nodded.
"Didn't know you'd be waiting on me," I said as I sat down and touched
her knee. "Turned out to be a crazy night. We ended up driving down to
Emblem to bail out a couple of long lost cousins." I started giving out
details but after a few sentences I realized she wasn't listening at all.

She sat there staring at my hand on her knee. I noticed she had
something clutched in her right fist. "What's that?"
Steph opened her palm and stared at the ball of paper inside. "Nothing.
LSAT test results." "The law school entrance exam?" "That's the one."
I leaned back into the couch and processed the news. "When did that
happen? I didn't know you'd taken the
test."
She sighed and pressed her knees together. "Yup. I do that. I take tests."
"Well?" I prodded. "How'd you do?"
She smiled at me. "I did awesome."
I clapped my hands together. "Babe, that's great. So is this happening?
You going to law school?"
She lost her smile. "No."
"What?"
"I'm not going."
"Steph, you're gonna have to help me out here. What do you mean?"
"I mean I need a job more than I need three more years of

school to fulfill a fanciful childhood idea."
"Honey," I soothed, pulling her close to my chest. "Let's talk about this.
I'll be teaching full time and even though it's not a luxury salary it's
better than what I've been making. We can figure out how to make this
happen for you." She tilted her face toward me and I kissed her soft
lips.
"Chase," she said, pulling away a little.
"Shhh." I hauled her into my lap, letting my hand creep under her shirt
and explore her smooth skin. "Let me make you feel good right now."
"Chase," she whispered and ran her hand over my cheek. "I love you so
much." She pressed her forehead against mine and widened her knees
so that they were on either side of me. Hell, I knew we were talking
about important life issues but my dick was suddenly hard as steel. I
needed something, even if it was just a taste. She needed it too. I could
tell by the way she'd started breathing hard and pushing herself against
me.
Wordlessly I pushed her arms up and then lifted her shirt over her head.
Her eyes were closed and her head rolled back as she started grinding
her hips against me. I deftly reached down and got my pants open,
impatiently sliding all

that shit down far enough to release my dick.
Steph still had her panties on but she was getting plenty hot just from
grinding so I kept at it. When I shoved my hand down there to tease a
little she let out a moan and sank against my chest. She was getting
closer every second. Fuck, I loved watching her come. I was in the
mood to watch it right now. I slid a finger into her to get her to the brink
while she bore down hard. I knew exactly how she worked. Another
few seconds and she'd clench up before the explosion shook her I
wanted to be closer to that. I wanted to be surrounded by it. I wanted to
fucking explode with her, inside her. I gripped the flimsy fabric of her
panties in a fist, knowing all it would take was a flick of my wrist to
make that business history.
"Let me," I hissed, tugging hard to let her know what I wanted.
She hesitated, even stopped moving. I tugged harder. "Let me."
"Yes," she panted, rolling her hips in a search for my dick.
"Do it."
One second later that pink lace was in shreds and I was in there deep
with no plans to stop. She wasn't on the pill and

although we weren't regularly careless it happened now and then.
"Chase!" she gasped and there she was, coming so hard s he s hook
everywhere, clutching me and even whimpering as she felt me follow
her.
"Baby," I whispered a minute later as I pushed her sweaty hair out of
her face and searched for her mouth. I wanted to kiss her, hold her, tell
her I worshiped the fucking ground she walked on and that I'd do
anything on earth to her, and for her, forever.
But first Stephanie straightened up and looked me s traight in the eye.
She ran one fingertip lightly along my lips and then dropped her hand
with a sigh.
"By the way," she said, "I'm pregnant."

CHAPTER TEN
CORD
I knew she'd stayed up way too late trying to finish just one more
chapter so when the alarm started buzzing I switched it off lightning
quick and tucked the quilt around her bare shoulders.
Saylor stirred and murmured in her sleep before settling back into the
pillow with a soft sigh. I spooned my body carefully around hers for a
stolen moment, just enjoying her warmth and knowing that for the rest
of the day my mind would keep returning here.
In the week that had passed since my brothers and I had driven down to
Emblem, something had been weighing on me. Something I couldn't
name, something that might not even be real. But it seemed to hover
close with a silent threat all the same.
A series of soft thumps turned into the sound of small footsteps and the
girls appeared in the doorway, two little sleep-tousled cherubs who
smiled at me lazily.
I put a finger to my lips, motioning for them to be quiet, kissed Say on
her cheek and hunted around the floor for my

shirt before climbing out of bed.
"I'm hungry," announced Cami with a trace of impatience.
"Me too!" agreed Cassie, bouncing on her toes.
"Hush," I whispered, ushering them out of the room and gently closing
the door behind me. "Mommy's still sleeping. I'll get your breakfast."
My daughters automatically went to either side of me -Cami on the
right, Cassie on the left - and reached for my hands. I walked them
down the hall to the bright kitchen. Say had absently left the half-filled
coffee carafe on the counter. She'd been putting in a lot of hours lately,
trying to meet a deadline for her fifth book.
"I want Marshies," demanded Cami as she climbed onto the padded
wooden bench at the table. Her sister followed her.
I had to crack a grin as I found the cereal box after a quick pantry
search. The girls were in the habit of calling it Marshies for short. It
was Chase's favorite cereal. He used to buy boxes by the dozen when
we all shared an apartment. It occurred to me that I had no idea if he
still did.
"Juice too, Daddy," chirped Cassie.

"Of course," I answered, pouring three heaping bowls of cereal with a
generous amount of milk.
My girls dove right into their breakfast the second I placed the bowls
before them I sat down at the table and happily watched them eat for a
few minutes before tackling my own bowl. I had well over an hour
before I needed to be at Scratch and it was only a five minute drive
away.
"I had a bad dream, Daddy," Cassie said suddenly. She dropped her
spoon on the table and propped her chin in her dimpled hands with a
troubled look.
"I'm sorry, baby," I told her. "What was it about?"
She looked at me mournfully. "You."
"Me?"
"Yes. You."
I took a drink of orange juice. I'd suffered horrible nightmares since I
was about the girls' age. Mine were different though. Mine were based
on the truth, where a terrible giant chased relentlessly, always
threatening to annihilate the only good things that lived in that desolate
world. It seemed those nightmares had faded substantially when Saylor
came into my life but even now sometimes I awoke in the middle of the
night washed in a cold sweat, my

heart pounding. The girls would have no reason for such nightmares.
I s et the orange juice back down, my mouth dry even though I'd just
drained half the glass. "It was just a dream, honey. Daddy would never
do anything scary."
The little girl frowned. "No. You weren't scary."
"Why was it a bad dream then, sweetheart?"
"You were lost."
"Lost?"
She nodded her blonde head seriously. "We couldn't find you. We
couldn't find you at all. You were nowhere."
I leaned forward and stared into my daughter's eyes. "I'm not lost,
Cassidy. I'm right here. I'll always be right here."
"Promise?" she whispered in all earnestness. "I promise," I whispered
back and crossed my heart emphatically.
"Mommy!" shouted Cami with delight and I looked up to s ee the mos t
beautiful woman in the world walk into the kitchen.
"Morning, Gentry family," she yawned, pausing by the table to kiss the
girls on each of their heads. They both

gazed up at her with pure adoration. I knew just how they
felt.
I pushed my chair back from the table a few inches and opened my
arms. "My turn."
Saylor gave me a happy smile and settled right into my lap while the
girls giggled. Many years in the future, when my daughters were grown
women reflecting on their childhood, I wanted them to remember
without a shred of doubt that their father absolutely idolized their
mother. I wanted them to believe that they deserved no less from any
man.
"What's wrong?" my wife asked as her green eyes scanned me with a
touch of concern.
"Nothing," I assured her with a squeeze. "Just enjoying a gourmet
breakfast with all my favorite girls."
I would have liked to stay right in that spot all day but the clock was
ticking. Reluctantly I left my little family and all their bright breakfast
chatter to go jump in the shower and transition into work mode. As I
was still toweling off I heard the distinct sound of my phone buzzing on
the bedroom dresser. I didn't run in there and grab it, figuring it was
probably just Aspen chiding me for running a little late

because in Aspen's world, 'late' meant not twenty minutes early.
After I pulled some clothes on and got around to picking up the phone,
Saylor wandered in and slipped her arms around my waist. She buried
her face in my neck while I s troked her hair.
"Writing today?" I asked her.
"Hopefully. Once I get the girls off to preschool I'll have the luxury of a
few uninterrupted hours."
She kissed my neck and I felt the familiar thunder rumbling low in my
belly before shooting straight to my dick. My mind started making a
deal with itself over sparing a few minutes to hike up her nightgown
and get some relief.
Say tilted her head back and smiled up at me. She knew exactly what I
was thinking and she was all for it, already letting her hands travel
lower and search for my zipper while I slid one nightie strap over her
smooth shoulder. I let her cup the thick arousal in her palm, focusing on
the way she wet her lips and the impatient set of her mouth. I was going
to have fun with that mouth. I was going to invade it and own it and
make it do whatever I wanted, just like I'd done a thousand times before
and then -

CRASH. SMASH.
"CAMI!"
"I didn't do it! It just fell!"
Saylor automatically pulled the strap of her nightie back up and hurtled
through the bedroom door to discover the source of all the panic. Since
there wasn't any screaming or crying I figured there was no emergency
so I took a few extra s econds to clear my head and tame my third leg
before following.
The unfortunate victim of the crash was a ceramic cactus statue that
typically sat atop the sideboard. It was cheap and cheesy, a joke gift
from our wedding. But painted on the front was a silly face that had
appealed to the girls since they were babies. They named him Mr. Cobb
for some unknown reason.
Saylor was picking up the pieces while Cassie looked on with a
mournful expression and Cami stood nearby with her hand over her
mouth and her eyes filling with tears.
"It was an accident," she wailed when she saw me, one tear spilling
over her round cheek. Cami wasn't a child who cried often so her tears
always hurt a little more to see.

"Hey," I soothed, putting a hand on her back while Saylor finished
gathering the pieces. "It's okay. I'm sure we can glue Mr. Cobb back
together."
"Sure we can," Saylor agreed brightly even though I saw the doubt in
her eyes. We exchanged a look and understood each other. We'd search
for a new Mr. Cobb on EBay or wherever.
Cami was hiccupping lightly and swiping at her eyes. It had been
purely an accident, I was sure of it. The girls liked to run their little
fingers over the thing's smiling mouth, that's all. A sudden unwelcome
memory invaded of how accidents were dealt with in the house I'd
grown up in but I forced it away.
"It's okay, sweetheart," I told my daughter as I bent to her level and
pressed my cheek against her forehead while Saylor carefully placed
the many pieces of Mr. Cobb in a Ziploc bag.
Cami threw her arms around my neck and gave a little sigh that made
me think of when she was a tiny baby. Like many infants she had spells
where she was fretful, colicky. Sometimes the only way she'd fall
asleep was on my shoulder where she'd stay for hours at a time.

"I love you, Daddy."
"Love you too, little one." I gave her a comforting squeeze, patted
Cassie on the head and kissed Saylor quickly on the lips because by that
time I really did need to take off. Aspen was capable of opening on her
own but Brick wouldn't be in until late morning so there was no one to
handle any walk in clients.
It wasn't until I was halfway there that I thought to check my phone.
The buzzing I'd heard when I was emerging from the shower was
actually just a text from Creed. Texts from Creed were like harvest
moons. They happened but were rare. He once called texting 'pussy
speak', whatever the hell that meant. Creed was a direct kind of a guy so
I suppose that was his way of saying that if you wanted to say
something you should just say it rather than tapping an emoticon-heavy
message into a tiny keyboard. He wanted to swing by the shop for
lunch because he had 'stuff' to talk about. I texted back.
"Sure. Between noon and one is fine. But what kind of
stuff?"
The reply was immediate. "Just stuff."

Well, all right then. There was no prying anything out of my brother if
he wasn't in the to mood to be pried. As I set my truck in park and
hopped out I wondered if he was stopping by to say that he and Truly
were pregnant. Saylor and Truly talked a lot and she'd hinted a while
ago that they'd been trying but then I never heard another word about it.
I had to shake my head and grin over the thought of Creed as a daddy.
Yeah, I would love to see fatherhood soften that guy's lingering rough
edges.
Aspen was already installed behind the front desk when I walked into
Scratch.
"Sleep in?" she inquired, batting her long eyelashes.
"I'm not late," I argued, although there was nothing to argue about since
this was my shop after all.
She laughed and pulled a headband out of her blue hair. "I made coffee
already."
"Thanks," I said and meant it because I didn't consider taking care of
my caffeine needs to be part of her job description. I headed over to the
closet-like room that served as the informal break area. "Brick still
going to be here in a few hours?" I called out as I poured a hot cup
while Aspen started on what sounded like a manic stapling spree.

"Sure," Aspen answered cheerfully, pausing between staple clicks.
"He'll be around after he recovers."
I took a drink, grateful to the unknown inventor of coffee. "Recovers
from what?"
Staple. "From me." Staple. "Woke him up at four am for a workout."
Staple. "Not that he minded." Staple. "We went at so hard-"
"All right, enough," I groaned. "Shit, I just walked right into that one."
Aspen suddenly popped her head around the corner. I saw an innocent
smile beneath a Technicolor mop. "You have a dirty mind, Cordero. I
was talking about the marathon we're training for."
"Right," I nodded, although the smirk on Aspen's face said she was
messing with me and the only marathon she'd been training for this
morning was a vulgar one.
Speaking of vulgar, once Aspen had skipped away, I stood there
leaning against the wall, still moodily wishing that I'd managed a
morning quickie with Saylor. The memory of her mouth, the idea of her
mouth on my dick, was a haunting way to start the day. If Creed wasn't
already stopping by at lunch, I'd think up some excuse to head

home for a short fuck break.
Yeah, I still had a hell of a filthy mind.
Thank god I married a girl eager to please it.
The vibration of my phone jarred me back to business. I didn't
recognize the number.
"Head out of the gutter, kid," Declan Gentry said by way of greeting.
"You've got no idea where my head is," I fired back.
"Of course I do. It's mooning around in the break room wishing it was
back in bed with your wife."
"What?" I sputtered, plunking the coffee cup down so hard the contents
swished out onto the counter. "Where the hell are you?"
"Macedonia I think. Is that where we are, Jen? Yup, Macedonia."
"Cameras," I remembered and whirled around to see the tiny lens
mounted in the upper corner. Deck had them ins talled about two
months ago. "I keep forgetting about them."
"You're not the only one. You might want to reconsider resting your
hand on that countertop."
"Why is that?"

"Because Aspen and Brick fucked themselves silly in that very spot
yesterday morning while you were in the back office messing with
spreadsheets and shit. On second thought they probably remembered
the cameras after all. They seem like they enjoy an audience."
"Gross."
"Don't be such a prude, Cord."
"A prude," I scoffed, "You watching now?"
"Of course."
I dropped my pants and mooned the camera.
"Shit," Deck exclaimed. "You should have warned me you were gonna
do that. Jenny saw. You upset her."
I zipped up my fly, keeping the phone balanced between my shoulder
and my cheek. "I'm sure she's seen far worse behavior from you."
"Nope. I'm an adult now. Aw, jeez. She's crying. She ran into the
bathroom, howling that she's never seen such an ugly, hairy ass since
the last time she visited the zoo."
"Deck!" Jenny laughed in the background.
"Whatever," I grumbled. "You calling from Macedonia for any specific
reason?"
Deck dropped the laughter. "Just wanted to make sure all

was well with the shop and that there's no more trouble from any junior
Gentrys."
The morning after our Emblem odyssey, I got in touch with Deck and
summarized the basics. As I suspected he'd asked Gaps to keep an eye
on those two boys and let him know about any trouble they managed to
find. He didn't mind parting with the bail money at all and was very
appreciative that the three of us had dropped everything and driven
down there to liberate the boys from Emblem's finest facilities. Once
again I wondered whether he had more of a connection with them than
just distant cousins but I didn't ask. Maybe no one knew for sure one
way or another. There were a lot of unsolved mysteries in the world,
particularly when it came to Gentry biology.
"All is well," I told him. "Gaps said he'd call if anything else came up."
"Good, good," said Deck. There was a heavy pause. "No trouble from
anyone else, right?" "No." I frowned. "Like who?"
Deck had a large number of dubious associates but from what I could
tell they universally feared him more than they wanted to fuck with him
so I'd never witnessed any fallout.

Despite the fact that we were business partners there were things
outside the scope of Scratch that he didn't share with me.
"Just checking," he answered lightly but I knew that was bullshit
because Deck never asked a question for no reason. But I also knew he
never offered an answer that he didn't feel like sharing so I let it go.
We chatted for a little while longer, just about Say and the girls and
exotic travel destinations. Then he abruptly declared that Jenny was in
need of some attention and a hot naked woman trumped
transcontinental cousin talk.
"Hey Cord," he said before he hung up. "Beware, okay?"
I was puzzled. "Beware of what?"
"Huh? I said take care."
"Oh." I put a hand behind my neck and squeezed some stiff muscles. I
must have heard him wrong. "You do the s ame."
The rest of the morning wasn't too busy. I inked a rose vine around a
delicate wrist and a lone pansy flower on the upper bicep of a cranky
fraternity type.
"I lost a bet," he explained, as if I cared.
Brick was in by late morning and traffic in the shop was

very light. I was especially glad because it meant I could take a lunch
once Creed showed up. Maybe we could head closer to campus and
dine at our old hangout, Cluck This, a greasy chicken joint where once
upon a time Saylor and Truly and even Stephanie had worked before
they moved onto better things.
I was in the office and heard Aspen's chirpy voice call out, "Hey there
Creed, he's in the back."
When I heard the heavy footfalls in the corridor I sat back and waited
for my brother to fling the door wide but after a few short knocks he
merely eased it open soft as a whisper.
"What the hell?" I said because I wasn't prepared for the sight of Creed
looking as if he'd spent the night beneath a freeway overpass.
"Not hell exactly," he said, sinking into a chair.
A sour smell had entered the room with him. I pointed. "What's on your
shirt?"
He looked down absently. "Spit up, I guess."
"Yours?"
"No."
"Is Truly sick?" "Truly is fine."

I handed him a box of tissues and a water bottle, figuring he'd want to
clean himself up a little and wondering what on earth was going on to
make Creedence Gentry oblivious to the fact that he was wandering
around with a stained shirt and smelling of expired milk. "Are you
going to elaborate or do I have to keep guessing?"
He s tarted wetting down his shirt and patting it with tissues before
giving up with a scowl. "Fuck, it's worse than I thought." He pulled his
shirt over his head with one fluid motion. "Cord, you got something I
could change into?"
"Of course. I always haul around a complete wardrobe change in my
back pocket."
Creed tossed the damp shirt at my head. "Glad I have two wiseass
brothers instead of one."
"I can't compete with Chase. He's in a class by himself." I pushed back
from the desk. "Hold on, I actually do have a spare shirt folded up in
that corner filing cabinet. You'll owe me one though since you're bound
to stretch it all out of shape."
Creed flexed. "Can't blame me for being physically fit."
"I'm physically fit. You're a fucking monster."
I dug around in the two-drawer file cabinet which served

as an informal depository for things that didn't easily belong anywhere
else. The black t-shirt I knew I'd find in there was clean, if a little faded.
Creed seemed glad enough to have it though.
"Thanks, man."
I stared at him as he rolled the shirt over his muscles. If I'd just met him
on the street I'd assume he was juicing but I knew better than that.
Creed put in gym time of course, but he'd always been huge.
"You ready to start talking now?" I asked.
Creed stood up and ran a hand through his short hair. He looked like the
dictionary entry for 'hung over'. But he just shook his head with a wry
smirk before reaching for the door.
"How about I buy you lunch?" he offered. "I'll tell you all about it."

CHAPTER ELEVEN
CREED
My dreams were full of crying kittens but that was only because Truly
had brought the baby into the bedroom. I knew it even before I was
fully awake, as the dream image of mewling animals faded and my
mind caught up to the fact that the cries were human.
The gentle light filtering in through the blinds meant the hour was
early. Truly was on the far side of the room, facing a window and
soothing the baby with a soft lullaby in her dreamy southern accent.
Her thick black hair spilled halfway down her back and her hand
cupped the baby's head as he closed his eyes with a soft sigh.
"I'm sorry," she said when her song ended. She didn't turn around. "I
didn't mean to wake you."
"I didn't say nothing," I yawned, swinging my legs over the side of the
mattress and stretching. "So how'd you know I was awake?"
"Because I always know, Creedence," she answered, finally turning
around with a brilliant smile and an infant

cradled to her breast. It was such a devastating sight that all I could do
was hunker there, gaping, as the baby stirred. Truly whispered "Hush,
angel," before kissing his downy cap of dark hair. Then my wife looked
right into my eyes and my heart felt like it was being squeezed by
invisible fingers.
"Mia's still asleep," she explained, glancing at the closed bedroom door
with a frown. The second bedroom where Mia and the baby had been
sleeping was across the hall.
"Hmph," I grunted and stood, hearing a small crack in my back. Truly's
screwed up sister had arrived on our doorstep three days ago. There'd
been that odd phone call where she'd hinted she was heading in our
direction via bus, refusing Truly's offer to pay for a plane ticket. What
she forgot to mention was that she was bringing her four-month-old
baby with her. Because then she would have had to first mention that
she actually had a baby.
Mia Lee's impending arrival wasn't even on my mind the night I arrived
home after playing to a raucous crowd at The Hole to find my
sister-in-law sitting cross-legged on the floor and twisting her pale
hands together Meanwhile, my wife was perched on the couch,
watching her sister with a

helpless expression and a dark-eyed baby in her lap who was
hiccupping and ogling me with curiosity as he waved his arms around,
capturing a fistful of Truly's black hair.
Mia didn't say much, merely watching me through watery blue eyes as
Truly explained what her sister had told her. First, the kid was hers.
Second, his father was killed in a tractor accident two months before he
was born. Also, the farming commune she was living on had been
raided by ATF because apparently a few of the things they were
cultivating there were illegal. Mia took off with the kid before she
could get swept up in the trouble. And finally, there was a vague
possibility that members of law enforcement might yet be interested in
finding her.
I absorbed all this information standing in the middle of my living
room with the sleazy smell of the club still clinging to me in a bitter
haze. After setting my guitar against the end table I moved over to the
couch and sat beside Truly.
My wife watched me like she was worried about what I would say.
Her sister watched me like she was afraid about what I would do.
The kid watched me like he was hopeful I would produce

something for him to eat.
I held out a finger and the baby grabbed at it eagerly.
"What's his name?" I asked, expecting some wacky answer like
Moonbat or Hazelnut.
"Jacob," answered Mia, still sitting on the floor, drawing her knees up
and resting her chin atop the wrinkled paisley material that covered
them.
"Jacob," I repeated and the baby flashed a toothless grin jus t before he
tried to chew my finger off.
I did not object when Truly assured her sister that she and Jacob were
welcome to stay with us as long as they wanted to.
Or until federal agents knocked on the door. Whichever came first.
Our guests had arrived woefully ill-equipped for a long term stay so
Truly had taken a few days off to go on a shopping spree and get
acquainted with her nephew Even though we'd babysat for Cord and
Say's girls often enough when they were tiny, I'd forgotten how much
freaking stuff was involved in baby care. Bottles and diapers and
onesies and car seats. Apparently the smaller the person the more stuff
they needed in order to exist.

But s till, Jacob was a cheerful baby and Truly doted on him. I didn't
mind him being around either.
His mother was a different story. I didn't know what the hell to make of
her. Meridian Lee spoke little, ate less and skulked around like a ghost.
She'd gladly allowed Truly to take over caring for Jacob. At first I was
willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, figuring she'd had a rough
time and might be set right after a few days of rest. But now I was
growing uneasy. Last night I'd wandered into the kitchen to get a drink
of water and the bedroom across the hall where Mia and Jacob had been
sleeping was brightly lit, the door flung wide open. I poked my head in
there and saw the baby was alone, sound asleep in the portable crib that
had been set up in the corner of the room. He'd rolled over on his belly
so I set him on his back since Truly was adamant that was what you
were supposed to do with babies. I covered him gently with the blue
receiving blanket he'd kicked off. Then I shut the bedside lamp off and
backed out of there.
The living room was dark, empty. I heard the creak of bedsprings from
the master bedroom and recognized the sound of Truly rolling over.
She was always a fitful sleeper.
"Shit," I muttered because the condo wasn't a huge place

and there weren't a ton of places Mia could be hanging out. What the
hell was I supposed to do if she'd taken off? Should I run out after her?
I wouldn't even know where to look.
Then a flicker of movement from beyond the glass patio door caught
my eye. A hot wind was blowing, an early prequel of summer storms to
come. Mia was out there alone, standing rigidly in the dark as the fabric
of her long white shirt billowed and her wispy blonde hair whipped
around from the whims of the wind. She faced away, arms crossed,
unmoving, and it didn't seem like she was looking at anything in
particular. Just then a wind gust knocked into her thin frame and she
swayed slightly, reaching out a hand to grab a stucco patio pillar. For a
second my eyes did a funny thing and saw right through her, like she
was fading away into nothing.
I made a lot of noise as I opened the patio door, trying not to startle her.
But either because of the wind or because she was lost in her own head,
she didn't so much as flinch until I cleared my throat.
"Mia?"
The face she turned to me was worse than horrible. It

was a face of misery, despair. It pulled at her skin and left ugly hollows
in her cheeks and under her eyes. Then she shook herself, shivered and
looked normal again.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude," she said in an accent so s imilar to
Truly's but lacking all of Truly's vitality.
"Why don't you come inside?" I said, opening the door wide and
hoping she'd listen because something about the whole scene was
creeping me the fuck out.
But Mia just shook her head and turned away again. "Like to hang out
here a bit if you don't mind."
"No, not at all." I hesitated, feeling slightly uneasy. "Good night then."
I started to close the door and then thought of something. I wasn't good
at this shit. I really wasn't. But there was something I hadn't said yet
and if there was one thing my wife had taught me it was that s
ometimes words mattered.
"Hey Mia?"
She turned around and cocked her head, waiting for me to continue.
"Uh, you're not intruding. You and Jacob. You guys are family and
you're both welcome here as long as you need to stay, as long as you
want to stay."

She stared at me for a few seconds and then a genuine smile touched
her mouth. For a moment I could see the resemblance she bore her
sister and it made me glad I'd said what I'd said.
"Thanks, Creed," she said softly. "Not just for this, but for being a good
man for my sister. I was damn sorry I missed your wedding."
I shrugged. "No worries. You know, Tru loves you and your boy like
crazy and anything we can do for you guys we will."
She nodded and her gaze shifted away as her thin eyebrows drew
together. "You will," she said in a vague voice as if she was talking to
herself. "And she will."
"Well, yeah," I said, feeling at a loss because the girl had apparently
switched directions and gone weird again. "Good night."
I'd returned to bed feeling a little strange about the whole thing, but
since I wasn't the least bit psychic it wouldn't do any good to sit up
fretting over it. The next thing I knew it was dawn and my wife was
huddled in the corner with a baby in her arms, trying to sing softly
enough not to disturb me.

"So what's on your agenda for today?" I asked, snatching a shirt off the
floor and pulling it over my head.
"An exam. I've got to be up there by nine. I swear I'll be back by
eleven."
"Okay," I shrugged, a little puzzled why she was giving me her
soft-eyed sheepish look.
"You were planning on being around, right?"
"Yeah, I guess. Was going to work on some songs and maybe hit the
gym."
"But you'll watch Jacob until I get back?"
"Watch Jacob? You mean babysit? You taking Mia with you?"
"No," she said softly and kissed the baby's head. "She's so tired, Creed.
Please."
I almost told her about my run-in with Mia in the middle of the night. I
also almost blurted out my theory that her sister wasn't the most stable
or sane person ever. But as I saw the sad look on Truly's face I figured
she was already well aware of Mia's precarious mental state. She'd
always described Mia as soft-hearted and rather fragile, the one Lee
sister who had the most trouble bearing up against life's battering rams.
It suddenly struck me that I'd seen that type

before. Maybe that's why last night's short conversation left me so
unsettled. Meridian Lee in all her wounded instability reminded me of
Maggie Gentry.
Truly was right. There were occasions where honest words should be
spoken.
And there were others where they were better left unuttered.
"I'll watch him," I promised, crossing the room to wrap my arms
around her briefly. "Just let me shower and get my eyes open a little
wider."
Truly rested her head against my shoulder and my hands traveled up
and down her back while my dick decided to perk up and say good
morning. But since there was also a baby wedged between us, now was
not a good time for fun and games. Truly knew my moods too well. She
rolled her eyes and blushed.
"Behave," she warned, backing toward the door.
"Been behaving for days," I grumbled "I think my parole hearing is
coming up."
"It is, I promise." She got up on her tiptoes and gave me a quick kiss on
the lips. "You really are a prince."
I tucked a lock of black hair behind her ear and let my

fingertips linger on her cheek. "Only because you made me one."
She gave me long, loving look and shook her head. "No, Creedence.
You always were."
Goddamn, I married the right girl.
The time to be sentimental ended abruptly when Jacob decided he was
hungry and started thrashing around.
"Please don't take long in the shower," Truly said as she opened the
door. "I've still got to get ready."
"I'm quick. I'll be in and out before you know it."
She smirked. "You're never quick."
"I can be anything, including quick, so stop teasing me before I make
you go put that baby down so I can prove it to you."
She giggled and patted Jacob as he settled down. As she headed down
the hall with the kid over her shoulder, Jacob made gurgling noises and
I could swear he was laughing at me. Truly paused at Mia's bedroom,
opened the door, peeked inside, and then withdrew with a sigh.
I really could be quick when I wanted to be. I jumped in the shower,
jerked off to get rid of my stubborn boner and got cleaned up all within
five minutes. As I was getting into

a fresh set of clothes I remembered that I had yet to fill my brothers in
on this latest turn of events. I wasn't a phone talker and this wasn't
really the time for lengthy explanations so I shot Cord a text asking if
he wanted to meet for lunch. I was about to text Chase but then
remembered he'd be working all the way downtown. Anyway Chase
wouldn't have let it go if he thought there was news. He would have
called me every three minutes until I spilled my guts.
Truly was curled up on the couch feeding Jacob a bottle. The pair of
them looked so serene and perfect together I was sorry I'd hustled
through getting ready because I knew she would now reluctantly get up
and leave.
Once she handed the baby off she went straight into a whirlwind of
showering and dressing. There was hardly a woman on earth who could
look as good after three hours as Truly could look after twenty minutes.
She looked in on the sleeping Mia one more time, fired off a rapid fire
list of instructions involved in the care of Jacob, then blew me a
perfumed kiss on her way out the door.
"All right, kid," I said to Jacob, "be good until she gets back and I'll set
up a college fund for you."
Jacob responded by grimacing and unleashing a mighty

storm of gas.
"Aw, shit," I muttered because a second later the smell hit and I knew
that's exactly what we were dealing with. Jacob smiled at me serenely.
Truly had left all the baby paraphernalia in plain sight so I had no
trouble finding diapers and wipes. It was the first time I'd ever mopped
shit off another human being but I thought I did a good job. As I was
snapping Jacob back into his blue and white outfit he gurgled and
laughed and I found myself smiling as I gathered him back up into my
arms.
"Glad your Uncle Creed can amuse you," I said and then I spun around
because I sensed that someone was standing behind me.
Someone was.
"Truly leave?" asked Mia. She was fully dressed although I hadn't
heard her up and about.
"Just for a little while," I answered. "She'll be back soon." I took a step
in her direction and started to hand baby Jacob over but Mia recoiled.
"I can't right now," she said, going so far as to back away. "If you don't
mind watching him I've got something

I've got to take care of."
"I don't mind," I said. Jacob had turned his head at the sound of his
mother's voice but he wasn't crying and holding his arms out to her
Instead he seemed content to grab onto my t-shirt and watch her from a
distance.
I s tared at her hard. "Are you leaving?"
Mia stared back. "Just for a few hours."
A long moment of silence passed as I thought about whether I should
keep asking questions. "And after that?"
She averted her eyes. She knew what I meant. But she just sighed and
pulled the frayed strap of an old knapsack over her shoulder "Please tell
Truly I'll be back by evening."
"You want me to drive you anywhere?"
"No."
"You need money for bus fare or anything?"
"No." She headed for the door, keeping her head down, either because
she didn't want to face my questions or she didn't want to be reminded
that I had her kid in my arms. "Thanks for offering though," she said as
she hurried through the door without looking back.
There was still over an hour left before I could expect

Truly to return. I set a baby blanket out on the living floor and carefully
placed Jacob on his tummy. He seemed to especially love a squeaky
play hammer that Truly had picked up for him. When I cupped my
hand around his little fist and showed him how to make noise by
banging it against the floor he squealed with delight.
I didn't know much about babies, but this one seemed easy to please.
He was curious and cheerful and every time he smiled in my direction I
knew I smiled right back. After about half an hour of keeping him
occupied with baby toys he started fussing.
"What's the problem, little man?" I picked him up, checked his diaper,
patted his back. He burrowed into my neck and made snorting noises.
Figuring he might be hungry, I headed to the fridge to find one of the
bottles that Truly had made up for him.
As soon as Jacob got a glimpse of the bottle he grabbed at it excitedly. I
paused in front of the open fridge, watching the kid sucking away
happily on the bottle I held to his mouth. I tried to remember something
Truly had said about using some object called a bottle warmer But a
quick scan of the kitchen revealed nothing that looked like it was

designed to warm bottles so I shrugged and gave up. Anyway, Jacob
seemed happy enough with his prize so it mus t be okay.
Back in the living room, I settled on the couch with the baby on my lap.
Jacob's dark eyes studied me as he clutched his bottle. He had Mia's
nose and mouth but his eyes and curly black hair must have come from
the father he would never know. Mia had said very little about the man
who'd fathered her child. Apparently they'd been together for over a
year and his death had been a brutal shock.
"Rotten deal, kid," I muttered, more to myself than to Jacob. "Rotten
deal."
I gathered the baby more closely to my chest, feeling protective of this
helpless little person. Sometimes I doubted whether I had all the right
stuff to be a good father. Maybe I would be too stern, not loving
enough. Kids needed to know they were loved. They needed the
balance of tender playfulness and strength. Fatherhood had come
naturally to Cordero and I was sure that if Chase ever had a child he'd
be an outstanding dad. But sometimes in my dark moments I wasn't
sure if the same could be said about me. It wasn't something I talked
about, not even to Truly.

Jacob finished the contents of the bottle and immediately his eyelids
began fluttering. Before I even set the empty bottle on the coffee table
he was asleep. I thought there was a good chance he wouldn't stay that
way if I tried to move him and anyway I kind of enjoyed the heavy
feeling of his sleeping body in my arms. I ran my finger lightly across
his dimpled hand and figured maybe I could adapt to this dad stuff
more easily than I thought.
Spying the remote on the end of the couch I flicked the television on
although I kept it on mute, ending up with one of those house hunting
shows where some irritating couple bickers over countertops. I was
glad I couldn't hear them
When Truly softly opened the front door, Jacob was still lights out,
snoring faintly. I saw the look of surprise cross her face as she took in
the scene of the two of us snuggled up together Then she broke into an
enchanted smile.
I put my finger to my lips.
Truly set her purse down and shut the door. "Mia?" she mouthed.
I shook my head.
Jacob might have received some subconscious message that we were
discussing his mother because he jerked,

opened his eyes and then let out a wail.
"Hey now," I soothed, moving him to my shoulder, a move he thanked
me for by opening his mouth and unloading a few ounces of curdled
baby formula.
"Stay right there," fussed Truly, running to the kitchen for some paper
towels.
The baby was in a full state of unhappiness. He cried and unleashed
more liquid from his mouth while I tried to avoid getting the brunt of
the spray.
Truly held out her arms to take Jacob and I handed him right over.
"Oh honey," she cried, not even caring that her shoulder was getting
covered with baby vomit. "Shush, sweetheart. Auntie Tru is here."
While I mopped up the vomit that had landed on my shirt and started
seeing to the mess on the couch, Truly patted the baby's back and he let
out a colossal belch.
"Did you feed him?" Truly asked me.
I balled the wet paper towels together "Yeah, I fed him," I said,
pointing to the empty bottle that was still sitting on the coffee table.
"He sucked back that whole damn thing and then passed out."

"And you burped him?"
Fuck.
"Uh, no."
It had been on her list of very pointed instructions but I hadn't
remembered.
"It's all right," whispered Truly and I wasn't sure if she was talking to
me or to the baby.
As I got up to toss all the dirty paper towels in the garbage, I felt a yawn
coming on. It seemed I'd been awake for two days instead of less than
four hours.
"Aren't you supposed to meet Cord?" called Truly.
I found her already in full control of the situation, getting Jacob all
cleaned up and changed. I glanced at my watch.
"I can stay if you need me."
She pushed her hair out of her face and smiled up at me. "Go. We're
fine." "You sure?" "Yes."
I was n't too broken up about getting outside where there wasn't any
puke or shit that was calling my name. I gave my wife a kiss, tickled
Jacob under his chin and ran out of there.
As I navigated the streets of Tempe I wondered how the

hell my truck had come to smell like vomit and baby powder. Jacob
hadn't even been in here. I shook my head and figured my senses were
just working in overdrive. I wondered what Cord would think of the
whole thing. I turned into the parking lot of Scratch and cut the engine,
figuring I would find out in just a few minutes.

CHAPTER TWELVE
CHASE
Camp was only a half-day today but I'd completely forgotten until
Bastian came around and told me to wrap up the mixed media project
the kids were working on.
"Let's pack it in," I announced to the busy room. "You know the drill.
Materials stored in the cabinet and please leave the place how you
found it. We'll pick it back up on Monday."
"No we won't," called a voice from the back. I closed the lid on some
red paint. "You got better plans, Arun?"
"Course I do, Mr. Gentry. Gonna go watch fireworks at Tempe Town
Lake and eat six pounds of red meat." "Ah, Fourth of July. I forgot."
Indeed I had also forgotten the reason for the camp's half day. It was the
kickoff to a three-day weekend honoring the unique American holiday
famous for noise, flashing lights and artery-choking junk food.
The kids were full of restless energy, eager to spill out into the searing
Phoenix heat and start the weekend. I didn't

scold them when they threw their materials haphazardly into the
cabinet and floated out of there. I had plenty of time to rearrange it all.
Bastian poked his head inside the room as I was organizing the shelves.
"You heading out soon, Chase?"
I didn't turn around. "Few minutes."
"Something wrong?"
I forced myself to smile and waved him away. "Nah, everything's great.
You have a good weekend."
Bastian nodded. "You too, man. We'll be back on Tuesday. We'll meet
here as usual and then head over to the Science Center."
"Sounds good."
Once Bas tian had retreated I returned to my cabinet organization
project. The long afternoon loomed ahead but I couldn't think of a
damn thing worth doing. Steph had told me this morning that she
expected she'd be stuck at work well into the evening. Some kind of
quarterly budget crap. We'd said our stiff goodbyes and then went our
separate ways for the day. I knew by the time she got home tonight s
he'd be too weary to talk, which might not be a bad thing

because it seemed every serious discussion as of late had a way of
going south. It didn't take much mind scrolling to recall the moment
everything changed.
"You 're pregnant? "
"Yes."
"You sure? "
"Jesus, Chase. Yes, I'm sure. "
"Well okay then, we'll get married. "
It was not at all how I pictured things would go when I proposed to
Stephanie. Actually I'd never come up with a s olid plan for how the
grand event would happen but it should have been a damn bit better
than blurting out my intentions on the futon with my spent dick
hanging out of my pants.
Stephanie had looked at me for a long moment before absently nodding
and then climbed out of my lap to go find her shirt. Then she ran into
the bathroom and threw up.
I closed the supply cabinet and brushed my hand over the smooth metal
surface. Once upon a time I'd been brimming with insincere charm I'd
known how to say the right words to get into any pair of panties I
wanted. But I was a long way from the guy who would pluck a willing
girl

out of a college party and nudge her mouth toward my dick without
giving a damn about who she was.
Goddamn, I was an asshole.
Those days ended the minute I got my hands on Stephanie. She was the
only girl for me. So why the hell was it so tough for us to step into the
pages of our happily ever after?
Maybe she doesn t want to.
A gruesome thought. A terrifying thought. The kind of thought that
made me remember that there was shit a guy could swallow if he
wanted to numb a rush of mental anguish. It had been years since I'd
been tempted by the drugs that ran my life for a while. I wasn't even
tempted now. Even the idea made me queasy. Back when I was still
thick in the struggle between compulsion and conscience, a rehab
counselor had told me I had an addictive personality, that my inner
battles would always be waged more intensely. So far I'd won. I
planned to keep winning.
Somewhere in a distant corridor of the library a child laughed. I took a
deep breath to banish the sense of gloom and doom that threatened to
erupt. Brooding in an empty room was the most depressing way I could
think of to spend

my time so I locked up the cabinets and hustled out of there.
The library was fairly crowded for a Friday afternoon, but that might be
because it was a relaxing place to suck up free air conditioning in the
middle of the stifling city. As I rounded a corner I caught a glimpse of
the homeless fellow I'd seen out front several times. He sat quietly on a
corner bench and paged carefully through a large book with glossy
photographs of outer space.
Maybe he felt the weight of my stare because he looked up and a flash
of worry crossed his face. He was probably used to being booted out of
places for loitering. He needn't worry, not about me anyway. I would
never deprive a man of a comfortable spot to sit and read. I gave him a
short nod of recognition and then kept walking.
The instant I pushed my way through the glass exit doors I felt the heat
on my skin. The only thing that might be more punishing than summer
in Phoenix would be summer in the outlying desert where there was
never enough shade, never enough water. I knew all about it. So would
anyone who had ever spent a July afternoon in Emblem.
"If Hell has a back pocket then that place would be

Emblem. "
I'd read that line years ago. It was printed in a school history book, a
direct quote from some unhappy eastern woman who'd followed her
merchant husband out west to the territorial capitol over a hundred
years earlier. If she were still around to take a look at the den of Benton
Gentry then she'd probably think to herself that the words still applied.
As I made my way to the parking lot I looked at the city skyline and
picked out the high rise where Stephanie worked. Briefly I weighed the
idea of dropping in there spontaneously. I could sweep her into my
arms and carry her out the door like that old Richard Gere movie.
But then I remembered how she'd rubbed her eyes this morning and
mentioned the busy day ahead. She probably didn't want to be carried
out the door while wearing my hat like the couple in the movie. That
was probably just as well. Especially because I wasn't even wearing a
fucking hat.
Traffic was still light on the freeway that meandered east of Phoenix In
another few hours the whole metro area would be heading home in
anticipation of the long weekend. I wasn't excited about sitting alone in
my apartment all

afternoon so I thought about alternatives. Cord would be working down
at the shop but he had his hands full with Deck gone and probably
wasn't available to shoot the shit. As for Creed, he tended to spend his
afternoons at the gym or hugging his guitar so I didn't really want to
bother him.
But there was one door I could always knock on and count on a happy
greeting. Fifteen minutes later I stood there and gave a series of short
raps on the thick wood. A wrought iron cursive G hung right in the
center. When a s hadow darkened the peephole I waved.
"Chase!" Saylor opened the door wide and held out her arms. I returned
the hug. Saylor McCann Gentry was more than my brother's wife. She
was my friend, one of the best friends I would ever have.
"Uncle Chase! Uncle Chase!"
Two squealing tornadoes - one blonde, one brunette -came barreling
down the hall and collided with my legs. I hoisted each of the girls up in
one arm and felt their arms curl around my neck.
"Ah, my two favorite nieces. You girls giving hell to your old Mom and
Dad?"
"That's a bad word," Cami scolded with a frown.

"Your face hurts," complained Cassie as she touched my cheek.
I swung them down to the floor. "Sorry, sweets. Uncle Chase forgot to
shave today."
Cassie nodded forgivingly. "That's okay."
Cami pulled at my arm "Come see my room"
Cas s ie pulled at my other arm. "Yeah, come on!"
"Hold on girls," laughed Saylor. "Let Uncle Chase get through the
door."
Cami peered around me. "He is through the door."
"I am through the door," I agreed and winked at the girls, allowing
them to propel me down the hall to the bedroom which looked like the
belly of a cotton candy machine. Once I got there all kinds of orders
followed.
"Sit here, Uncle Chase."
"No, sit here, Uncle Chase!"
"Hold Miss Happy, Uncle Chase."
"You need a magic wand, Uncle Chase."
"Uncle Chase, you're holding Miss Happy too hard."
Saylor stood in the doorway and cleared her throat. "Let me know
when you need a break, Uncle Chase."
The girls unleashed a torrent of exuberant chatter and

proceeded to show me every single object in their bedroom. They had
my complete attention and were so damn cute it killed me. I loved them
like crazy. The first time I saw them in Saylor's hospital room, hours
after they were born, the sight of them was so surreal. Here were these
precious little girls, brand new people where there hadn't been people
before. Such a basic concept and yet so astonishing.
I carefully set Cassie's stuffed hedgehog down and leaned forward.
"Hey girls, I've got to go talk to your Mom for a few minutes, okay?"
Cami pouted slightly. "Don't leave."
I stood up and patted their heads. "I'll be back. I promise."
Saylor was in the kitchen, frowning over a stack of paper with a
ballpoint pen hanging out of her mouth.
"Editing," she explained, dropping the pen. "I'm supposed to release the
damn book in two weeks and it just seems like something's not hanging
together."
I sank into a chair. "You want a second opinion?"
She instantly looked hopeful. "If you're sure you have time." I'd edited
several of her books before. She was a talented writer.

"I have time. Email me the rough draft."
Saylor smiled and then started filling a cast iron kettle with water. "I'm
on a hot tea kick lately. You want some?"
"Hot tea? It's about a hundred and thirty seven degrees outside, Say."
"Well, we're not outside."
"Good point. Sure, I'll take a cup."
Saylor set the kettle on the stove and turned the dial. She spooned
something that looked like shriveled raspberries mixed with dried grass
into a container, set out a pair of green ceramic mugs and then joined
me at the table.
"So," she said in a matter-of-fact voice, "what's eating at you, little
brother?"
I felt a smile cross my face. The boys had always cheerfully teased me
about the fact that I was the last one to be pulled from our mother's
belly the night we were born. Junior. Little brother Words always said
with affection. I liked hearing them from her.
"Nothing that can't be cured by a few days of sitting by the pool eating
hamburgers and watching fireworks."
Saylor wasn't fooled by my easy tone. She drummed her fingers on the
table and raised her eyebrows. "How is

Steph?" she asked pointedly. "Pregnant."
Her mouth fell open. "What? Cord didn't tell me." "I didn't tell Cord."
She gave me a puzzled look. "I don't understand."
"Well Saylor, when a man and woman get together in a private way-"
"Chase." She narrowed her eyes. "Seriously."
"I am being serious. When a man and woman get together a beautiful
thing happens which can result in the creation of a brand new life-"
"Knock it off." Saylor balled up a nearby napkin and threw it at me.
"Okay, but if you ever require further elaboration, remember I do have
my full teaching credentials from the state of Arizona."
"If I remember correctly, those credentials entitle you to teach history."
"And if people didn't keep procreating then there wouldn't be any
history to discuss, now would there?"
Saylor suddenly beamed at me, laughing. "This is exciting! I can't
believe it!"

"You thought Cordero was the only Gentry brother who possessed
sperm? I'm insulted."
"Enough with the creative quips there, junior. I just didn't realize you
guys were looking to join us in the minivan set."
When I stayed silent Saylor bit her lip and cocked her head to the side.
"Oh," she said quietly. "It was a surprise then, huh?"
"Just a tiny electric lightening bolt to my central nervous system," I
admitted. "Shouldn't have been. We weren't careful and I do know
where babies come from. Yet somehow the news managed to shock
me."
"Hmm, I know the feeling," said Saylor with a jerk of her head. Girlish
squealing erupted down the hall. "What's going on in there?" she
called.
"Nothing!" answered two sweet voices.
"Precocious little things," I observed.
"That they are."
"Take after their devoted uncle." "That they do."
The tea kettle began whistling. Saylor jumped up and carefully poured
the hot water into the container she'd

deposited the fragrant leaves into before she sat down.
"Just needs to steep for a few minutes," she explained, returning to the
table. "So?" she prodded, nudging me with an elbow.
"What?"
"Are you happy about the baby? Isn't Stephanie? Are you guys getting
married? Are you still going to move into that apartment in Phoenix?"
"I don't know"
Saylor leaned back and appraised me for a long, silent moment. "What
don't you know, Chase?"
"Of course I want the baby. Of course I want to marry Stephanie."
She smiled. "You don't sound uncertain."
"I'm not. She might be."
Saylor lost her smile. "No. She said that?"
"Not exactly. She told me she was pregnant. I blurted out a marriage
proposal that might have come across as somewhat obligatory. At any
rate, it wasn't among the top ten most romantic moments in our storied
relationship."
"Did she say yes?"
"She nodded. Then she puked. Does that count?"

Saylor made a face. "It doesn't sound ideal."
"You know," I mused, "I've thought about it a thousand times, how I
would propose to Stephanie. Somehow I was picturing a slightly
grander gesture. Candles on a rooftop, mountainside hike, words on a
jumbo tron in front of fifty thousand people we'll never see again. A
nonchalant 'Hey, I knocked you up so let's get hitched' probably isn't
the stuff a girl's dreams are made of. "
"Who says?"
"I do."
Saylor sighed. She got up, poured the tea into two waiting cups and
placed them on the table.
"Chasyn," she said earnestly. "I'm going to let you in on a secret. Real
life isn't a perpetual series of grand gestures. It's messy. And often
uneven. But at the end of the day it's the accidental, imperfect moments
that will stand out. It's colliding unexpectedly with the boy you once
hated and finding a good man standing there instead. And then a split
second later or so it seems you are watching him hold the newborn
daughters you created together while realizing neither of you knows
what the hell you're doing but it doesn't matter a damn bit because
everything is exactly as it

should be." She grabbed my arm and squeezed. "The best moments are
never planned."
In an instant my life with Stephanie flashed through my mind.
Everything from the first hot kiss in Vegas to sprawling in the living
room eating Chinese food and watching baseball. Uncounted tiny
moments that all melted together and made a day worth waking up for.
"See?" she beamed like she knew exactly what had just passed through
my head.
"It's daunting when you act psychic."
Saylor took a sip of her tea, watching me. She put the cup down. "A
long time ago I asked you if you thought Stephanie was worth all the
ups and downs. You never wavered. You told me she was worth
everything."
I didn't hesitate. "She still is."
"Tell her that, Chase. That's all you need to do. I can't say I have the
answer to every question when it comes to love and I don't know what's
going through Stephanie's mind right now. But I know damn well that
girl loves you."
I couldn't play it off. Every bit of emotion came through in my voice.
"Feeling's mutual. I'd do anything for her."
"Chase." Saylor reached across the table and squeezed

my arm. "Just tell her that. You don't need to be grand. Jus t real."
While I was thinking about that the littlest Gentrys came running into
the kitchen and scolded me for taking too long to return. Obediently I
followed the girls back to their bedroom and continued being educated
about every last one of their possessions.
Before I headed out Saylor urged me to stop by at Scratch and say hello
to Cord. Since Stephanie wouldn't be home for hours and I still couldn't
find a reason to get jazzed about hanging out on the couch watching
daytime television I agreed. My mind was still galloping around like
crazy. Anyway I had a sudden hunger for male company. Saylor was a
cherished part of my family and I was grateful for her friendship and
wisdom. But whenever life threw a s udden curveball in my direction
there was one thing I needed to get my head back on straight.
Two things actually.
I needed my brothers.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CORD
Not ten minutes after Creed exited the shop door I heard Chas e's voice
in the lobby. He was going to have to wait because I was busy inking
over a corny balloon heart that had the name Ryan in the center. The
girl it was attached to was no more than twenty. She'd walked in here
with heartbreak written all over her face, asking me if there was
anything I could do to remake her shoulder ink into something else.
"Sure," I'd said smoothly, keeping to myself the observation that this
Ryan prick must have royally fucked up s omehow.
"God, I hate men," fumed the girl, frowning at the ceiling. Then she
seemed to think I'd be insulted so she made amends. "I didn't mean you.
You seem okay."
I jus t nodded and went to work, coloring the heart in black so the name
wouldn't be visible and surrounding it with thorny vines, which seemed
appropriate.
In the background I heard Chase joking around with Aspen. Chase was
asking her in all seriousness if she

thought he'd look okay with blue hair. She told him magenta was more
his style.
I didn't take me long to finish the black heart. The girl seemed pleased
by the design but then tried to get a little too cozy with me so I walked
her to the front and had Aspen take care of the financial side of things. I
was slightly taken aback when Chase jumped out of his chair and
grabbed me in a bear hug.
"What's up, man?" I asked, giving him a hearty pat on the back.
"I fucking love this guy," Chase announced to the room, squeezing me
and rocking back and forth.
"All right, all right." I fended him off but grinned the whole while,
grateful that my brother's spontaneous goofiness was and always would
be intact.
"You just missed seeing the monster," I told Chase as we headed
toward the back office.
"Creed was here?"
"Yeah, we had lunch. Would have given you a heads up if I had any
idea you'd be on this side of town this afternoon."
Chase sat down and propped his feet up on my desk

while I gave him a quick rundown of all the Creedence-related news.
Crazy sister-in-law on the run. Infant nephew tossed into the middle of
it. It sounded like something out of a movie and I'd listened in disbelief
as Creed tensely gave out details. Chase seemed to take it all in stride
though. He listened carefully and then let out a low whis tle.
"So I guess Creed isn't the only one with news." "What does that
mean?" "It means I have news too."
I waited. Chase laced his hands behind his head and gazed up at the
ceiling contentedly.
"Are you going to elaborate?" I asked.
"Hold on, I'm rather enjoying this new cryptic side of my personality."
"Well, let me know when you're finished. I'm going to enter the week's
receipts in the meantime."
Chase took his feet off the desk and leaned his elbows on his knees.
"Steph is pregnant."
I felt myself smiling. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Well shit bro, congratulations!"

He gave me a small smile but then it slowly faded from his face.
"Thanks."
"Don't cut yourself on that enthusiasm."
"It's not my own enthusiasm I'm agonizing over."
Something was wrong. I knew it was Chase's dream to marry Stephanie
and start a family. Since Chase was never one to hide his exuberance
there had to be a reason he wasn't jumping up and down. Given the fact
that they were planning on moving into a Phoenix apartment in two
weeks and hadn't hinted that wedding bells were forthcoming I figured
the pregnancy wasn't a planned one. I thought back to the early
morning four years ago when Saylor had shaken me out of a dead sleep
to joyfully announce that we were going to be parents. I'd stared at the
pregnancy test feeling a chaotic mixture of pride, terror and love.
Sometimes even now I was still astonished over my good fortune,
overwhelmed by the fact that out of all the better men on earth Saylor
McCann had picked me.
After a moment Chase sighed. In halting words that seemed to hurt him
as they emerged he confessed that he and Steph just weren't connecting
lately. She'd wanted to go to law school but now with a baby on the way
he was

afraid she thought she'd missed the chance. She didn't even want to talk
about it anymore. Stephanie, like all of us, also had some baggage.
Hers was in the form of a philandering father and a history of seeing
men at their worst. Maybe she feared what marriage and kids would do
to her relationship with Chase. Whatever was going on, Chas e s eemed
reluctant to force a confrontation. It hurt to hear him quietly admit that
he was afraid of the truth. Afraid that maybe the girl he loved didn't
want the same things he wanted.
"Look," I said. "You guys are overdue for a sincere conversation. So
quit dancing around the topic, sit her down, and have it out. You love
each other. You belong together and I wouldn't bullshit you about that.
Everything else can be worked out, Chase. Tell her how you feel about
her and listen to what she says. It doesn't need to be a big event. Just
needs to be honest."
"A perpetual series of grand gestures," he muttered, rubbing the back of
his neck.
"What?"
Chase looked at me. "I stopped by your house today and talked to
Saylor."

"What did she say?"
"That life can't be measured as a series of grand gestures. You just need
to let the moments unfold. And then cherish them when they do."
"Good advice."
"Brilliant."
"So take it."
"I plan to. Can I have that bag of chips on your desk?"
Chas e only hung around for another twenty minutes or s o. He wanted
to get home and clean up the apartment before Stephanie got there. He
still seemed a bit distracted when he left Scratch. As I watched him
walk away I silently reassured my brother that everything would be all
right. It would be. He and Stephanie would be fine. I just knew it.
Since foot traffic had been light all day I made the s pontaneous
decision to close up shop early. Aspen and Brick practically ran out the
door the moment the words left my mouth.
Because it was a long holiday weekend and because I'd been neglecting
all my girls lately I'd already decided to keep the place closed until
Tuesday. As I hung the sign on the door I really started to get eager
about having three days

off. On the way home I stopped at a drugstore and bought some
sparklers because I knew the girls would get a kick out of them. Saylor
would raise an eyebrow but she'd indulge me as long as there was no
real danger and I'd make sure I was standing right beside the girls the
whole time.
Before I checked out I also picked up a small bouquet of roses and a
cheap bottle of wine. I had some seduction ideas for sure, but mostly I
just wanted to see Saylor's smile when I walked through the door.
"Cord! You're home early!"
"Daddy!"
"Daddy's home!"
I felt their arms and collected their kisses. Cami and Cassie demanded
an immediate RSVP to a very important tea party they were hosting in
their bedroom and Saylor lit up when she saw the flowers. When the
girls scampered down the hall I pulled my wife to me, slipping my arms
around her waist and sliding my tongue into her mouth. She responded
eagerly, pressing her body close and issuing a small moan that kicked
all my senses into high gear. She felt so good. She always felt good.
"Party time!" called Cami.

I pulled back a little. "Party time," I said with some regret.
Saylor wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "Well Mr Gentry,
allow me to invite you a private party I'll be hosting later this evening."
"Oh yeah? What kind of festivities is the hostess planning?"
"Whatever strikes your kinky fancy, since you're the guest of honor."
I ran my finger down her cheek and over her lips. "In case I don't say it
enough, I love you, sweetheart."
"You say it plenty. And I love you too."
"Mommy! Daddy! Where are you?"
"We're coming, honey," Saylor called and then let out a little s queal as
I picked her up and carried her in style to the best tea party that any two
little girls ever planned.
After dinner we bathed the girls and got them ready for bed. I didn't
have any more great knight stories swimming around my brain at the
moment so the girls contented themselves with listening to me read a
story about three young bear cubs that wandered through the
wilderness, lost and scared, managing to survive on their wits until the
day

came when they looked at one other and realized they were full grown
bears.
They were asleep before I finished the story but I finished reading it
anyway. It had a happy ending, as all children's s tories should.
Saylor had promised me a kinky show and I could have made creative
use of her body in a dozen different ways. But all I wanted was to lay
her down and tenderly slip inside of her. As soon as I felt her come I
followed, driving in deep and staying put until every drop was released
inside of her. And even though I'd told her I loved her several times
today I said it again and stroked her hair as she fell asleep in my arms. I
was happy to join her.
There's something horrible about a ringing phone in the middle of the
night. Some suppressed part of your mind rampages to the forefront,
seizing your dream self and s hrieking with alarm. Even before you
open your eyes you are running a mental inventory of all the people
who are precious to you and with relief you realize your wife is at your
side and your babies are sleeping down the hall. As you sit up in the
darkness, red numbers warn you that it is three a.m.

Nothing good ever happens at three a.m. In a panic you start thinking of
names. Chase. Creed. Deck.
By the time you reach the buzzing phone your heart is pounding and
you don't even see the caller identification as you touch the screen and
swing the phone to your ear because you need to know right fucking
now if something has happened to someone you love.
"Hello?"
"Cordero." The other voice was sad, vaguely recognizable. "It's Gaps.
Officer Driscoll. I had your cell number handy so I figured I'd call you
first."
Emblem. The news had something to do with someone down in
Emblem.
"Gaps." I was fully awake. My heart was a thudding gong. What
happened?"
"Shit, I'm sorry, Cord. Not right to have to tell you like this, but it's your
mother. Maggie is dead."

CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CREED
I had heard her the first time she said it but I still needed to hear it again.
Somehow I'd been expecting this news before I walked through the
door this afternoon, knew what was going to happen as I sat across the
table from my brother at a greasy diner and told him about the events of
the last few days. If Truly had known it all along too she couldn't bring
herself to say so out loud but now there was no hiding from it.
"Tell me again," I said gently, taking my wife's trembling hand.
"She's gone," Truly repeated in a dull voice, tears still flowing freely.
One stalled on her left cheek and I tenderly wiped it away. Baby Jacob
slept peacefully in her arms, s pared the knowledge that his mother had
abandoned him. Someday he would know. Someday it would hurt.
Truly had calmed down by the time she started to tell the story a second
time. About an hour after I'd left to go meet Cord for lunch Mia had
returned. She picked up the baby, kissed him gently, then returned him
to Truly.

"Mia asked me if I loved her. I said of course I did. She asked if I loved
Jacob. I told her that was a foolish question and that I adored Jacob. She
smiled and said 'I love you too, Tallulah Lee. When we were kids you
were more of a mother to me that our mother ever was. I was lucky to
have you. And now Jacob is lucky to have you. I think I knew the day
he was born that I would be giving him to you.' At that point she was
starting to scare the living daylights out of me because I didn't know
what she was meaning to do. She'd asked me for some money the other
day, five hundred dollars, and I gave it to her. I'm sorry I didn't tell you
about that, Creed."
"Shush, it's all right," I said, frowning. Really, what the hell difference
did money make right now?
"Well she apparently took that money and went to go see a lawyer. She
had him draw up papers terminating her parental rights and giving us
full custody of Jacob."
Truly handed me a fat envelope. It was full of papers that had lots of
small, typed paragraphs. At the end were signatures and a notary
stamp.
"What's this?" I asked, holding a plain white envelope that had fallen
out of the larger one. It was sealed and

labeled, simply, 'Jacob'.
"A letter. Mia addressed it to Jacob. She said I was free to read it if I
wanted but I haven't."
Carefully I replaced all the contents of the envelope. I folded the flap
forward and tossed the whole thing on the coffee table. When things
calmed down I would have to find a lawyer to tell me if all this was
completely legal. But for now, Meridian Lee had signed over her child,
quietly packed her belongings, and left, ignoring the tearful pleas of her
s is ter.
"Creedence?" Truly whispered. I stared into the anguish in her eyes.
She already knew what I was going to say but it was still important that
I say it.
I slid my arm around my wife's shoulders and cupped my other hand
around Jacob's small head. He stirred and smiled in his s leep.
"We'll raise him," I said with certainty. "We will love him and treasure
him as we would love any son of ours." I felt the light touch of his hair
on my palm. "Because as of right now he is our little boy."
Truly closed her eyes for a moment. Several more tears squeezed out.
There were still things that needed to be

settled. But it was pretty obvious that Mia wasn't coming back. It was
obvious this had been her plan all along. I couldn't despise her for it. At
least she recognized that she was unable to care for the kid and so
brought him to people who would. That was a hell of a lot more than
my own mother ever did for me.
Truly opened her eyes again. "Creedence Gentry, for all your
periodically sullen moods you are the most loving man. The best one
I've ever known."
Jacob pushed his fist in the air, opened his mouth in a wide yawn and
then was awake all at once. Truly set him against her shoulder. His dark
curls branched out riotously from his head and his face was still flushed
with sleep. He blinked at Truly and then at me before breaking into a
toothless grin.
"Hey, sweetheart," Truly said softly and kissed his chubby little cheek.
"How's our boy?"
Our boy.
Yes, he was. And suddenly all the doubts I'd ever harbored about
whether I would be a worthy father just evaporated. I looked at that
sweet baby in my wife's arms and my usually stubborn heart thawed
out and threatened to

start beating on the outside of my chest. I might have shed a few tears
of my own if I'd been the tear-shedding type of
guy.
I held out my arms and Jacob lurched in my direction. Truly allowed
me to take him. I held him in my lap, supporting his body since he was
still too wobbly to sit on his own. My hand covered his small back and
a string of drool escaped from his lips as he stared at me expectantly. I'd
never understood what it meant to feel vulnerable in the company of
someone so helpless until I held my nieces for the first time. Now I was
feeling it all over again as I held my s on.
"Jacob Gentry," I said out loud. It didn't matter that there was still
paperwork and lawyer bullshit to hammer out before it would be his
legal name. As of right now that's who he was.
Jacob kicked his legs and let out a full belly laugh.
Truly rested her head on my shoulder and touched his face. "Jacob
Gentry," she said.
The baby laughed again and we laughed with him. Even though
someone who knew more about babies that I did would probably insist
he had no idea what the words meant

and couldn't understand the significance of the moment, when I looked
into his thrilled face I knew that was bullshit. He understood that he
was happy and surrounded by people who loved him. That was
everything.
"Jacob Gentry," we said together and he threw back his head and
shrieked with joy.
"Listen up, little guy," I said. "I will do my damn best every single day
to be the kind of dad you need. You can count on it."
Jacob seemed to be paying close attention. He had a look on his face
that was remarkably serious for a four-month-
old.
Carefully I cradled him close to my chest, beside my heart. "As soon as
you're old enough," I promised him, "I'm going to teach you how to
play a guitar."
The three of us sat there on the couch for a long time, just enjoying the
new feeling of being together. Then Truly announced that she was
going to whip up something special for dinner and started bustling
around the kitchen. I switched on the television, flipped around until I
found a baseball game, and then moved Jacob to the crook of my arm
so he could face toward the television, not that he seemed

especially interested. He plucked at the hair on my arms and idly tried
to chew on my shirt.
At one point a glint of fabric caught my eye and I looked up to see
Truly peeking from around the wall that separated the living room from
the kitchen. She had her hand to her lips .
"What's wrong?" I asked. She shook her head.
"Truly." I held my hand out to her and she walked to me slowly. She
took my hand and kissed the palm.
"We're a family," she choked out.
I pulled her back down to the couch, beside me and Jacob. Gently I
pushed a lock of thick black hair out of her face.
"We were always a family," I told her. "You and me, from the
beginning." I shifted Jacob's position so that he was on my knee. "It's
just that we gained an important member today."
"She'll never come back," Truly whispered. "I know she won't." She
lowered her head and I kissed her softly because it was all I could do.
I understood that mixed in with Truly's joy was a deep

and impenetrable pain. She and her sisters had been incredibly close
throughout their childhood, although due to terrible and tumultuous
circumstances they had drifted apart long ago. These days she
frequently talked to Augusta and Carolina but they no longer had the
special bonds of youth and shared hardships. Despite the fact that she'd
barely heard from Meridian these past few years, her permanent
defection had now left a gaping hole. The Lee sisters were officially
disbanded. I never worried that would happen to me and my brothers.
We wouldn't let it. We were stuck with each other forever.
It occurred to me that I should pick up the phone and enlighten the boys
that through a twist of fate they now had a nephew. But that could wait
until tomorrow. This day was all about the three of us.
When Truly served her legendary gumbo for dinner she placed Jacob in
a bouncer atop the table so he could be there with us. He eagerly sucked
on a bottle and kicked his bare feet around with a giggle when I tickled
them.
"Can I give him some?" I asked, scooping a small bite onto a spoon.
"Creedence!" Truly hissed. "Absolutely not. You cannot

give such a young baby solid food and you certainly cannot give him
gumbo. Jakie is happy just with his bottle, aren't you, little darling'?"
"Jakie," I muttered, making a face. "Don't do that to the poor kid. He's
got a good, strong name."
"He's a baby. I think Jakie sounds cute."
"I guess, if he was an animated cat or something."
"Stop," Truly laughed.
I winked at Jacob and returned to my meal. Afterwards I cleaned up all
the dishes while Truly cleaned up the baby. I could hear her in the
bathroom, cooing sweetly as she bathed him in a portable little tub
thing she'd picked up the other day. I smiled as I scrubbed the bowls
clean and listened to the two of them. Most men had at least a few
months to get used to the idea of looming fatherhood. But Jacob was
here and I was ready to be whatever he needed.
As I wiped down the dining table, Truly returned, carrying a newly
scrubbed Jacob. He hiccupped in his clean blue onesie and Truly
nuzzled his cheek. I followed them to the living room where we spread
out a soft cotton blanket and laid Jacob down on his belly. Watching a
baby at play was a hell of a trip. He was fascinated by everything from

his own fingers to a stuffed dog that had a plastic mirror on its back. I'd
heard about a study once where some scientist tried to imitate an
infant's every move. He passed out or something after about twenty
minutes.
By the time Jacob started looking somewhat sleepy the s ky had
darkened. I picked up his warm little body and let Truly lead the way to
the bedroom he'd been sharing with his mother.
Already there was no trace of Mia around. She must have taken
everything with her. Jacob was the only evidence that she'd ever been
here at all.
I caught Truly casting a sad glance at the neatly made bed where her
sister had slept. Briefly she ran her hand over the dark pink coverlet
like it was a final farewell.
We s ettled Jacob into the crib together and Truly turned on a little box
that played soft lullabies. The baby breathed deep and even, the gentle
sleep of the innocent.
"Tomorrow we'll get him a better crib," I promised her as we left the
room. The crib he'd been sleeping in was small and portable. It wasn't
meant to be permanent. Jacob deserved something that was permanent.
Truly slipped her arms around my waist and laid her cheek

on my chest.
"What a day," she sighed.
"One for the books," I agreed, stroking her hair and becoming acutely
aware of the fact that her body was pressed up against mine.
She felt it. She cupped a hand down low. "I did promise you a parole
hearing, didn't I?"
That was it. She was getting fucked. Sweet and tender time was done. I
dropped my pants.
"Hearing is over."
We used each other backwards, forwards and sideways, with Truly
warning me several times to keep the noise factor down. When we'd
both been satisfied I shut off the lights and gathered her into my arms
where she fell asleep in minutes. Happily exhausted, I was glad to close
my eyes and let the bliss of sleep claim me too.
The next thing I knew a confusing noise had jarred me awake.
"What's that? The baby crying?" Truly groaned and rolled over.
"Creed, the baby doesn't ring when he cries. It's your phone."
I fumbled around on the nightstand until I found the

stupid thing. If it was some dickhead telemarketer trying to sell me a
cruise to the Bahamas I was going to rip him a new asshole. But one
glance at the caller's identity chilled me. It was far too late into the
night to be calling for anything pleasant. By the time I got it up to my
ear I was wide awake. "Cord. What's wrong?"
As I listened to my brother's voice I was aware that other things were
happening. The baby really did begin crying in the next room. Truly
rose from bed, pulling on a robe as she went to him. The wall clock
above the closet, which I'd barely noticed before, starting ticking so
crazy loud it s ounded like a bomb.
The news that Cordero delivered had been expected for a long time. It
shouldn't have made me feel like I was sinking right into the mattress.
But it did.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHASE
It took some doing but I had the apartment gleaming by the time the
afternoon was over. Steph tended to be even more messy than I was so
things often got a little out of hand by the time one or the other of us
threw up our hands and went into a scrubbing, vacuuming, tidying
frenzy.
In fact I wasn't really expecting her home yet. I was industriously
vacuuming the dust out of every living room crevice I could find. The
hand that touched my arm made me shriek like a banshee and jump
about eight feet in the air.
"Sorry," Stephanie smirked, obviously amused. "You should see your
face."
I switched the vacuum cleaner off. "You're early. I had plans to have a
king sized carton of pepper steak waiting for you."
"Thanks anyway," she said, dropping her purse and then plopping
down on the couch. "I'm not too hungry." "Morning sickness?"
She grimaced and folded her arms over her belly, leaning forward. "I
don't know why they call it that. Definitely not

exclusive to the morning."
I folded up the vacuum cord and pushed it into a corner before joining
her on the couch. "Baby, what can I do?"
Stephanie raised her head. Her riotous hair hid her face and slowly she
moved it out of the way so she could see me clearly. "It's okay, Chase.
I'm just not hungry."
"I'm not talking about food."
She looked confused for a second and then it seemed to dawn on her
that I was diving into more serious waters. She s ighed and leaned back
on the couch. I leaned with her. We s tared at the ceiling together and
listened to the yipping of our neighbor's dog. Finally, almost
tentatively, she reached for my hand. Hers was so small, strangely cold.
I held it in my palm and brought it to my lips.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I've been an asshole lately."
"Maybe we've both been assholes."
She laced her fingers through mine and smiled vaguely. "You're trying
to make me feel better."
"I'm trying to make you feel something."
She stopped smiling. She opened her mouth as if she was going to
speak but then she quickly closed it and looked away.

"Stephanie. Look at me dammit."
She looked. Stephanie was never one to skip around, broadcasting her
emotions with a megaphone, but I could read this girl pretty well after
nearly four years. There was something timid, almost fearful, about the
look she was giving me.
Of course the million dollar question was what the hell was she afraid
of?
Was she afraid of what I was going to say?
Or was she afraid of what she needed to say to me?
Fuck it. I'd been cutting a wide circle around her for long enough.
Everything was fine and dandy until the night she told me she was
pregnant. Or at least I'd thought so. It was time to get it all out there, for
better or for worse.
"Stephanie, we've been together a long time. You're sexy and
infuriating and sensitive and complex You're not flawless and neither
am I. God knows every day isn't perfect but somehow we're right
together, you and me. And I couldn't love another woman the way I
love you." I took a deep breath and gently reached over to tip her chin
so she would have no choice but to look me in the eye. However she
really felt, she wouldn't be able to hide it now. "Do you

want a life with me, Stephanie? Do you want this baby?"
"Chase," she whispered and swallowed painfully. Her eyes swam with
tears. "You're my whole world. I love you more than anything. I love
you so much it scares me at times." She closed her eyes and inhaled
deeply, exhaling with a ragged shudder. "Of course I want a life with
you. Of course I want to have your baby. God, Chase, I want to have a
whole houseful of your babies and-"
I kissed her. I held her face in my hands and kissed her with passion and
intensity. She clutched me closer and returned every bit of that
intensity until my heart was pounding and my dick was hard and what I
wanted to do the most was seal the occasion by getting inside of her.
Instead I broke the kiss. I pulled back and stared her straight in the eye.
"What are you afraid of then?"
A tear rolled down her cheek. She sniffed and looked away. "Can you
even picture me as someone's mother? I mean, I've never taken care of
anything, not even a hamster."
"Steph." I kissed her forehead. "You'll be a wonderful mother. You're
loving and strong and every time I look at you I'm in awe, sweetheart.
Absolute unfiltered awe. I

won't lie and say this won't change anything because of course things
will change. But nothing will ever alter the fact that I am utterly
devoted to you. If you want law school, we'll figure out how to get you
there. Just don't doubt us. There's nothing we can't do together. I really
believe that."
"Oh, Chase." She was crying freely now. "It's not that I doubt you. And
it's not that I doubt us. If I ever made you believe that was the case I'm
so sorry."
I didn't say anything. I just held her and waited for her to calm down
enough to continue.
"I've been thinking about my mother," she whispered. "I really wish she
was here. I wish there was someone to tell me how to do this." She
swiped at her eyes. "I wish she'd had the privilege of living long enough
to meet her grandchild. It hurts so bad when I think about how much
she would have loved this baby."
So that was it. I should have guessed. Stephanie had adored her mother.
She had died of cancer when Steph was a teenager. It was the most
painful event of Stephanie's life and she rarely spoke of it.
She stayed in my arms while I stroked her hair and let her cry. She
needed that, a good cry. When her tears finally

began to let up and her breathing returned to normal, I tipped her chin
up again.
"She'd be so proud of you," I said. I didn't have to know Stephanie's
mother to know that it was true. "So incredibly proud."
That made her smile a little. "I really wish she could have met you. She
would have loved you too."
I permanently abandoned the idea of grand gestures. I knelt at
Stephanie's feet and took her hand once more.
"I could have planned better for this," I told her as she stared down at
me, looking like a flushed angel. I kissed her hand and continued. "But
someone wise told me the best moments in life are the unscripted ones.
So I'm just going to say the words that are in my heart and wait for your
answer. Stephanie Bransky, I love you more than I would have ever
believed it was possible to love anyone. Will you marry
me?"
She leaned her forehead into mine. "You know I will, Chasyn Gentry."
I grinned and pushed her long hair aside. "I wouldn't mind hearing it
one more time."
Stephanie slipped off the couch and into my lap. "Yes,"

she whispered. "I will absolutely marry you." "Anytime?"
"Anywhere." "Tomorrow?"
She laughed. "If you'd like. But I think Saylor and Truly will have a fit
if we don't plan some kind of an event. They've been waiting for this
you know."
"Have you?" I asked her.
"Have I what?"
"Been waiting."
She raised an eyebrow. "I never doubted that it would happen."
I ran my hands over her hips and pushed her skirt up, repositioning her
so she was straddling me. Lifting her shirt slightly, I gently touched her
stomach. The protective sense that surged within me was ferocious. I
could have moved mountains with it.
"You think it's a boy or a girl?"
She pressed her hand over mine. "I just hope it's not triplets."
I flexed. "It might be. I'm betting my juice is very prolific."

Steph rolled her eyes but she was still smiling. "Whatever."
I kissed her again. "I can't wait to marry you."
Stephanie's nausea had subsided for the time being so I whipped up
some scrambled eggs with a side of cereal.
She dug in happily. "Somehow, this looks like the best dinner in the
world."
I swallowed a forkful of eggs. "Pregnancy cravings?"
She gathered both eggs and cereal together on the same s poon. "Maybe
that can explain it. Oh my god, that's good."
"You gonna be in the mood to say that again later? Maybe with even
more gusto and some heavy breathing?"
She gave me a naughty look. "Absolutely. Must be a case of raging,
primitive hormones because I swear I almost jumped you when I
walked through the door and saw you hunched over the vacuum
cleaner."
"Next time don't hesitate."
Stephanie put her spoon down. "Chase?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"I really do adore you. I always have."
I took her hand. "A whole houseful of babies, huh?"

She gazed soulfully into my eyes. "Each one with your s mile."
We just dumped all the dishes unceremoniously in the sink. So much
for a spotless apartment. I'd get to it tomorrow or something. Who
wants to stop and take care of dishes when romance is so thick in the
air?
Stephanie had already kicked off her heels as I followed her to the
bedroom.
"Wait," I demanded as she started to unbutton her shirt.
She stopped. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I moved her hands to her sides. "Keep them there. I want to
do this my way." I started to unbutton her blouse while she kept still. I
slid the fabric from her shoulders and admired the view. "You're so
beautiful," I said, hearing the lust in my voice and wondering how long
it would agree to stand down. I unhooked her bra, letting it fall, and
cupped her sweet breasts in my hands. They felt more delicate, hotter to
the touch, than usual.
"Careful," she moaned. "They're kind of sore these days. Pregnancy
thing."
For some reason the warning made me even more insanely hard. I laid
her down gently on the bed, sliding her

skirt down, followed by her panties. Now I could detect the slight
changes in her body. She was still slender but when I ran my hand over
her lower belly there was a firm, swollen feeling to the skin that hadn't
been there before. I would know I knew every inch of her by now.
"That's you in there," she whispered as my hand lingered.
"It's us," I corrected, scooting back enough so that I was able to easily
remove my shirt and pants. I was dying to get skin on skin but I wanted
to enjoy her for a little while longer first. Lightly, carefully, I massaged
her tender breasts.
"Too hard?" I asked when she started to squirm.
"No," she breathed, biting her lip. "Just right."
"So, what are the rules? What can we do?"
She gave me a wicked smile from down there on the pillows. "This
early we can do everything. Technically, anyway. It's just that the lady
parts can sometimes feel a bit raw."
I lightened my touch. "I don't want to hurt you. Tell me if it's too
much."
"You couldn't hurt me."
I massaged lower, over her chest, past her belly. I

smoothly opened her legs and stroked her thighs, my thumbs circling
higher and higher. Stephanie bit her lip and threw her head back while
her inner thigh muscles began flexing ins tinctively.
I rolled my thumbs higher, teasing. "Is that good, honey?"
She let out a squeak and grabbed the pillow behind her head. "Yes," she
gasped.
I slipped both thumbs inside her with ease. Damn, I'd heard about these
pregnancy hormones but she was ready to come already. I smiled and
withdrew, grazing her entrance with just the tips of my thumbs.
That drove her wild. She bucked her hips and screwed her eyes up tight
as she arched her body toward me desperately.
"Just fuck me," she begged.
"Damn, what a filthy mouth on my sweet bride."
She glared. "I'll give you a fucking filthy mouth."
This was fun. "I don't know Steph, maybe we should save it for the
wedding night."
She sat up on her elbows, sputtering. "What are you talking about?
We've already fucked like a thousand

times."
"I just don't want to deplete the mystery."
Stephanie threw a pillow at my head.
I answered by grabbing her hips and slipping inside.
"Mmm," she moaned, falling back onto the mattress, ecstasy on her
face, hair splayed out in all directions.
Even though she'd said we were completely green lighted for sex I
couldn't help being more gentle than usual. I got her to the climax
slowly, reveling in the look on her face as she came, sending out a
million silent thank yous to the universe that she was mine forever. We
fell asleep tangled up in one another, her cheek against my chest, my
hand on her s tomach.
When the phone rang I was dreaming and in my dream I was in a dark
cave.
Fear was everywhere and my hands clutched something I'd thought
was a weapon. Until I looked down and realized it was nothing but a
frayed piece of rope. I threw it down in disgust and stared ahead,
squinting, trying desperately to see, but there was very little light.
"What's up there, up ahead of us? " I asked because somehow I knew I
wasn't in there alone.

"Nothing as terrible as what's behind us, " my companion growled and
took the lead. "Come on. We have to keep looking."
"Will we find him? "
"We have to."
"We'll fight for him. "
"Ofcourse. " Then my friend let out a defeated sigh. "We have no
weapons."
I looked down at my empty hands. I closed them into fists and then
opened them again.
"Yes we do."
It took a few rings for me to realize that the noise was coming from my
phone. And that my phone was in some unknown place inside the
apartment. Stephanie was still sound asleep so I leapt out of bed, trying
to get to it before it woke her. As I hunted for the source of the sound I
hoped it was just a random drunk dial. After all, anyone who called at
this hour wouldn't have anything nice to say.
The sight of my brother's phone number was a knife of anxiety right in
my gut.
"Cord. Is Creed okay?"
"Yeah."

"The girls? Saylor? Deck?"
"They're all fine, Chase."
I exhaled with relief and sank into the nearest chair. "Who's not fine
then?"
My brother took a deep breath. Whatever it was the words weren't
coming easy to him. "She's dead. He didn't kill her but you know he
still killed her."
I swallowed. I had to close my eyes because the room had suddenly
begun to spin. I didn't ask him who he was talking about. I didn't need
to.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CORD
"I hate this," she said miserably. "I know."
"And I hate to think of you going down there." "I know."
Creed had said he'd be here in half an hour to pick me up. That gave me
time for a shower but not much else. I toweled off and pulled on a pair
of jeans while Saylor sat on the edge of our bed and watched me with
sadness.
"Oh god Cord, I'm so sorry."
I leaned on the sink, facing away from her. I didn't want her to see my
face right now. It didn't matter that Maggie Gentry was never a true
mother in any way that counted. It didn't matter that she'd let drugs and
her piece of shit husband wreck her inside and out. She was the only
mother I was going to have in this lifetime and she'd descended into
nothing but a pitiable object long before the end came for her.
"Cord." Saylor had crept behind me, wrapping her arms

around my waist and kissing my back.
I turned around and buried my face in her neck, inhaling warmth and
love as she cradled my head. She hadn't argued with me when I told her
the boys and I needed to drive down there and that no one else other
than the three of us brothers were included. After all, there would be no
touching service to honor a beloved mother and grandmother. The
woman who'd choked on her own vomit and died alone on a dirty
bathroom floor was none of those things.
Despite all that, there must have been an unresolved piece of my heart
that always wished she would escape her demons somehow. It was that
hidden, hopeful fragment that let out a sob on my wife's shoulder as she
held me.
But there was no time to indulge in grief. I could hear the low growl of
Creed's truck engine right outside. I knew he would have enough sense
not to honk the horn, considering the sun wouldn't rise for well over an
hour, but I didn't want to keep him waiting.
Saylor kissed me. Without speaking a word she went to the closet and
handed over a shirt. She waited for me in the bedroom while I threw on
the shirt and grabbed a pair of

shoes.
"I love you," she told me, handing over my phone and wallet as I
headed out.
I turned around to look at her. I wanted to remember what waited for
me right here once I was done with the day's sorrow. "I love you too."
She folded her hands in her lap and stared at them. "You want me to say
anything to the girls?"
"They don't need to know the details. Just tell them Daddy had a secret
mission. And that when I get back we'll light those sparklers."
She bit the corner of her lip, something she did when she was especially
worried. "Don't stay down there long,
Cord."
"No. I won't." And I wouldn't.
My chest felt heavy as I left my house, locking the front door. Creed
had picked up Chase first and they waited inside Creed's pickup truck,
Chase in the back of the cab. I knew their profiles as well as I knew my
own. They just sat there together, waiting. Waiting for me, the missing
piece of the Gentry triplet puzzle. The things we shared went way

back to before we even knew our own names. I didn't say anything as I
climbed into the passenger seat and shut the door.
Creed waited for my nod before he took the truck out of park and pulled
into the street. Chase reached from the backseat and touched the back
of my head, patting gently a few times for comfort before he withdrew
to stare out the back window.
I'd already told them the short version of the tragedy on the phone.
There were some details missing but all I knew was what Gaps had told
me.
From what the authorities could tell, it was probably around thirty six
hours ago that Maggie Gentry had collapsed on the floor of the
bathroom and drowned in her own vomit. Benton had been out
drinking and once he came home it apparently didn't occur to him for a
good eight hours to check on his wife. And then even after he found her
lying on the floor he just shrugged and figured she was unconscious
since passing out in that house was about as regular as a sunny day in
the Sonoran desert. But when he went to go take a piss and she hadn't
moved and her eyes were open, his pea-sized alcohol-soaked brain
started to

realize that she wasn't asleep. By that time she was cold to the touch.
The autopsy would tell if she had any garbage in her system but it didn't
matter. Everyone in Emblem knew Maggie was a hopeless junkie and
everyone knew who kept feeding her that shit. It was a fool's dream at
this point to believe anything would happen to Benton even if he'd
stuck the needle in her veins himself. Gaps all but said so over the
phone although he did mention that Emblem PD was happy to haul
Benton in for taking a half assed swing at one of the paramedics. He'd
been sitting in a jail cell since Maggie's body was taken away. Gaps
didn't comment on Benton's state of mind and I didn't ask. That fucker
had no business even being alive as far as I was concerned.
"You boys hungry?" Creed asked and I saw him glance at the way my
fists were balled in my lap. I relaxed them, noticing that I'd forgotten to
wear my wedding ring. Since the day I married Saylor I'd only ever
taken it off to sleep and shower It might sound like a small thing to
forget since it was such a shit chore we were chasing but it bothered
me. It bothered me a lot.
"I could eat," yawned Chase.
It was still too early for most breakfast drive thrus to be

open but Creed knew about a donut and coffee shop close to the
university. He ordered two boxes of donuts and three coffees, waving
away the change the cashier tried to hand him.
As I chewed I thought about how there'd been a time when a donut was
a rare luxury. We'd often been hungry when we were kids and if it
weren't for the kindness of our Aunt Is obel, Deck's mother, we likely
would have suffered some serious side effects of malnutrition.
We were traveling southeast and the sky had begun to lighten. For
some reason I wasn't expecting the sun to emerge. A day of rain and
clouds would have better served the mood. But when you live in a part
of the world that boasts something like three hundred days of clear
skies a year, odds are the sun is going to show up.
On the drive we talked about everything but the past, everything but
our parents. Creed had a smile on his face as he talked about how he
and Truly planned to adopt their nephew. He already loved the kid and
he was excited to be a father. Then Chase cleared his throat and
announced that he and Stephanie were officially, unquestionably, one
hundred percent engaged.

"Took you freaking long enough," Creed smirked and dodged the
Boston Crème donut that was rifled at him from the backseat. I grabbed
the donut from the dashboard and ate it.
Creed shifted his weight and glanced at me. "Hey," he said. "I'm not
arguing about whether we should be driving down there today, but
what exactly are we driving down there to do?"
The truth was, I didn't know I just knew that we were all of the same
mind as soon as we got the news. Call it closure, call it whatever the
fuck you wanted. We just had
to go.
"You know," said Chase, "it's a pretty sure thing the coroner won't
release the body yet. I'm with you guys no matter what, I just wanted to
lay it out on the table. And assuming he's out of jail, the body will be
released to him, not to us."
"Probably," I admitted.
"So are we planning on sticking around until the funeral?"
"Not if he's in town," grumbled Creed. His hands tightened on the
steering wheel and I imagined that he was

picturing our father's neck as his fingers squeezed. "I'm sorry but I can't
fucking do that. I can't shake his fucking hand and pretend he's a real
father."
"Never," I assured him. "No one expects that."
Creed relaxed a notch and nodded. "So what is it we're going down
there for?"
The tidy housing tracts that stretched out of Phoenix like a thousand
prosperous arms were no longer in evidence. There was just road and
desert and the occasional farm.
"We're going down there to say goodbye," I finally told him.
The barbed wire of the sprawling state prison, the s ignature Emblem
landmark, emerged on the horizon just as my phone rang. I wasn't at all
surprised to see who the caller was. I hadn't told him anything yet
because I saw no reason to disturb him Besides, this was our mess to
handle, not his. But of course Deck had ears everywhere and some of
them were attached to mouths that made it their business to tell him
anything that might interest him.
"Cord," he said and I could tell from the sound of his voice that he
knew exactly what was going on.
"Hi, Deck. I should have called you."

"Bullshit, I'm not calling now to scold you." "How'd you hear?"
"Doesn't matter. "Well, where are you?"
"About to board the first of a series of flights that will eventually land
us back in Phoenix by tomorrow."
I coughed. "You don't have to do that, man. We've got this covered."
"The hell I don't have to fucking do it." He sounded pissed. Then I
heard him exhale thickly. "I'm sorry. She was your mother. But she
meant something to me too."
"I know."
Actually, I'd forgotten. But yeah, Deck had always had a special kind of
attachment toward Maggie. He'd known her in better days, before
drugs and Benton's violence broke her. He'd been an awestruck
five-year-old kid when Benton brought his radiant young bride home to
the desert. I wished I'd known her in that time. She'd been an artist. She
was the reason my hands worked the way they did when I decided to
create something.
On the other hand, it was probably better I had no memory of Maggie
Gentry's golden youth. If I did then

today would probably be even more painful than it was.
"The boys with you, Cord?"
I glanced back at Chase. "They are."
"Good, that's good. You guys need each other right now. Listen, I won't
say some lame shit like 'Give them my condolences'. We all knew this
day would come. But I'm real sorry it's here anyway."
"So am I, Deck. So am I."
In the background I heard the sound of Jenny's voice but I couldn't
make out her words. Deck answered her. "Okay baby, just a minute.
Listen, Cord, we're getting ready to board now. I'll be mostly out of
reach the next twelve hours or so but I'll see you tomorrow. If I know
anything about you three I would guess you're headed to town."
"We're almost there."
He was silent for a moment. "Stay cool," he finally said. "Watch each
other's backs."
I knew what he meant. He was telling us to watch out for Benton. There
was probably good reason for Deck to say that. I couldn't guarantee
what would happen if we ended up in the same room as our father.
"Always," I promised.

A pause. And then a cough. "I love you guys."
That wasn't something Deck said lightly. I didn't say it back lightly.
"We love you too, Deck."
Creed and Chase weren't surprised that Deck had caught the first flight
he could find. Before I'd ended the call I'd nearly said something sappy
like 'Wish you were here'. A wildly inappropriate thing to utter when
you were on your way to see about your mother's remains. But if there
was such a thing as a guardian angel then the three of us had long ago
been gifted with a gruff, muscled, tattooed version who came to us as a
wild cousin.
The sight of Emblem made us quiet. The last time we'd been here, only
a week ago, it had been dark and somehow that made the landscape
seem more benign. In all fairness it wasn't a terrible place. Most of the
people who lived outside the prison were honest, hardscrabble folks
just trying to make their way. But for us it symbolized misery, fear and
a desperate wish to escape the stigma of our last name. People assumed
Gentrys were shitty because historically most Gentrys were shitty.
That's a dark cloud to be born under. Suddenly I thought of our young
cousins, Conway and Stone, wondered how much the echoes of the

past had touched them. I made a mental note to track them down and
look in on them as long as we were down here today. We may as well
try to squeeze at least one good thing out of this.
Gaps had said that if we checked in at the police station they'd put the
call out and he'd head down there to meet us. Creed hung back a little,
looking uncomfortable and Chase was glancing around uneasily so I
led the way.
Inside the station there wasn't much going on. A bored-looking teenage
girl sat on a plastic chair and scowled at the world. The smell of coffee
and fast food assaulted the senses. And somewhere unseen a man
laughed raucously. Sitting behind the long front desk in the lobby was a
middle-aged woman in an Emblem PD uniform. She looked up when
we walked in and her pencil-drawn eyebrows started twitching.
"I'm Cord Gentry," I started to say. "My brothers and I are looking-"
"I know who you are," she snapped. Then she let out a wheezing sigh to
let us know we'd just fucked up her scenery. "Go sit over there."
"Welcome back, boys," Chase muttered. I sat beside him

and Creed grudgingly took the chair on my other side. He drummed his
fingers on his knee and glared stonily ahead.
"The prodigal Gentrys return again," I said, listening to our cheerful
greeter get on the phone and call someone, presumably Gaps, to
announce his 'fucking friends' were here.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CREED
I didn't really give a shit what kind of grudge that idiot at the station
desk was nursing. If she figured she could flare some nostrils and glare
me down then she figured wrong. Probably one of my blood relations
had wronged her in some petty fashion and the name Gentry had struck
a sour note. But I'd never seen her before and didn't feel like dealing
with anyone's historical anger when I was still trying to process a dead
mother.
"Big C," called Chase from two seats down. He waved to me over
Cord's head.
Cord, meanwhile, was slumped in his chair and looking
grim.
But Chase was watching me with a mother hen kind of worry. What did
he think I was going to do? Go ape shit in the Emblem police station?
Head out on a blood hunt to sniff out Benton? I wasn't the kind of
volatile guy I used to be. I had a wife and a kid at home and they were
my priorities now. This was just a sad obligation. We would fulfill it
and then we would go.

"You got a restroom?" I asked the scowling wonder, who was still
glowering at us from behind the desk.
"Public restroom is down the hall, first right."
Cord blinked at me when I stood up. He must have been so lost in his
head that he hadn't heard the conversation at all. "Where you going?"
"Nature calls."
"Oh."
I nudged him with my foot. "You hanging in there?" He nodded.
"Yup."
Chase and I exchanged a look and Chase reached over to pat Cord on
the shoulder. Cord was usually the one who kept the balance. But
getting that phone call in the middle of the night seemed to have shaken
him up the most. I could tell from the second he stepped into my truck
this morning that he wasn't okay. If it was guilt he was feeling then he s
hould know better than that. After all, a woman who would let her own
children suffer in squalor and be abused for the sake of a terrible man
and her own addictions couldn't be redeemed. If it was rage at Benton,
well, there was really no good place to put that either.
Not that I would mind getting my hands on him for ten

minutes .
After taking a quick leak and washing my hands I lingered in front of
the dirty bathroom mirror for a minute. If I allowed it, my senses could
reproduce the stink of the trailer and the cold sweat of fear that broke
out on my neck whenever I heard my father's voice. There was a time
when I used to drink so hard I'd black out. I had reasons. Bad reasons,
but still reasons. I'd think of him and I'd have murder in my head and
my heart. Drinking was the only way to dull the rage, although I'd hear
from my brothers the next day how I'd gone out of my head, muttering
and cussing until I vomited the pain out and lapsed into darkness.
The harsh fluorescent lighting glinted off my wedding ring and I balled
my hand into a fist, holding it over my heart. The past was the past. It
couldn't be rewritten. And some things couldn't be forgiven. But I had a
life with a lot of love in it. And as soon as we were done here we'd go
home and move on. We'd made it. We'd won.
I switched the light off on my way out of the bathroom. I could see
Chase and Cord straight down the hall. They were s tanding, talking
quietly to that goofball cop everyone called Gaps. He acknowledged
me with a nod as I joined the

group.
"Hey Creed," he said, offering his hand for a shake. "Was just telling
your brothers I was damn sorry to make that call this morning."
He had a clammy grip. I released his hand and tried not to wipe my
palm on my jeans.
"It was inevitable," I said.
Gaps looked sad. "Damn shame nonetheless." He glanced around and
shifted his weight. "He's still back there you know. Usually he screams
bloody murder to be let out but all night he's just been sitting in a cell
staring at the floor. Not crying or nothing. Just quiet. We told him he
was free to go but he's still just sitting there. I know you guys don't see
your folks but do you want to-"
"FUCK NO!" Cord shouted and everyone in the station stopped to
stare. I would have said it if he didn't but I was surprised at his
vehemence. Cord didn't lose it too often.
Chase put a hand on Cord's shoulder. "Think we'll pass on the family
reunion, Officer."
Gaps looked at us each in turn with sympathy in his eyes. He was an all
right guy. At least that's what Deck had always said and I trusted Deck's
judgment as much as I

trusted my own.
"Coroner finished with the autopsy," he said. "Official results won't be
in for a while but I had an off-the-record chat with her and she said it
was pretty cut and dry. There was no fresh physical trauma. Maggie
passed out on her back and there was no one around to help when she
started choking."
I didn't have anything to say about that. Neither did my brothers. We
just stood there and let the image sink in.
Gaps stepped closer to us. "Do you want to see her?" he asked quietly.
"I can only let you in there for a few minutes but you boys deserve the
chance to say goodbye."
The front desk demon had apparently been listening to the entire
exchange. "That's against protocol," she bleated. "You can't let them in
to see the body without written permission from-"
"Shut up," Gaps interrupted with a roll of his eyes. "I mean it, Darlene,
or else there might be a few reasons to probe a little harder into the case
of the vanishing office supplies."
Darlene quieted down although I could practically see the steam rising
from her curly hair.

"What do you say?" Gaps asked.
"Yeah," I answered, looking at the boys. "After all, we did come down
here to say goodbye, right?"
"We did," Chase agreed, squeezing Cord's shoulder. "Right?"
Cord closed his eyes. "Right."
We followed Gaps outside. All the municipal buildings were in the
same cluster on Main Street. He led us into a modest structure a few
dozen yards away. It didn't have a sign on it other than a simple Town
of Emblem plaque over the door. I figured that inside must be where
they kept bodies that were in need of some official business before they
could be laid to rest.
Laid to rest.
Bullshit phrase if ever there was one.
Gaps greeted a black-haired woman who looked like she might not
have seen the sunlight for at least three years. He talked to her quietly
and she looked over at us.
"Come with me," she said with a wave of her pale hand. As s he tiptoed
down a lime green corridor I started getting kind of a horror movie
vibe. In a way it actually was a horror movie. Marching off to bid
farewell to your mother's dead

body was certainly horrible.
The woman reached a closed door. "Wait here," she ordered, and then
disappeared inside, closing the door behind her.
Cord leaned against the wall, looking more or less as green as the floor
tile. Chase crossed his arms and stared at the ground. They looked so
lost, so much like the little boys they'd once been. I wondered if I did
too.
A few minutes ticked past before the door opened again and a hushed
voice told us we could enter. Neither of my brothers moved so I went
inside first, knowing they would follow. An acrid chemical smell made
me think of high school biology. I wrinkled my nose involuntarily and
figured that smell would linger until I took a shower. In the center of
the room were three long tables but only one was occupied. I would
have guessed that a room like this would ordinarily be severely lit by
high wattage fluorescence but instead the lighting was muted,
shadowy. I wondered if the black-haired woman had done that on
purpose, to spare us a clear look at what was lying on the nearest table.
Just as she'd probably been the one to neatly tuck a gray blanket around
Maggie Gentry's shoulders and smooth her hair around her sunken

face.
I've heard all kinds of things said about the sight of dead bodies. How
they look peaceful, serene, simply sleeping. My mother just looked like
a shell. The tortured person who'd live inside there for so long was gone
and what was left behind was what we were looking at. I heard Chase
suck in a breath and exhale shakily. Cord stuffed his hands in his
pockets and stared.
"You can have a few moments alone with her," said the black-haired
woman and there was kindness in her voice. Whatever her role was in
all this - coroner, body sitter, whatever - she was definitely someone
who was used to the sight of death. She left us alone silently and all I
could hear was the sound of my brothers breathing until Chase broke
the s ilence.
"There were times," he said, "when we were kids that I would wake up
in the middle of the night and be sure that she was dead. I was afraid to
go check and not just because Benton might wake up and thrash me. I'd
just lie there on my mattress and watch sunrise approach, praying to
whoever lived beyond the sky to keep her here a while longer. For a
time I was convinced that if I stopped thinking

that silent prayer then she wouldn't be alive in the morning." He winced
and swallowed.
"You guys remember that time he punched her in the stomach and she
fell into the television stand, opening up a four inch gash in her head?
We were only about nine or ten but Creed, you went at Benton like a
tiger, calling him a filthy fucker and beating on him with all that you
had. You caught him off guard and he lost his footing, landing smack
on his ass and whacking the back of his head on the wall. He just kind
of sprawled there all stunned and you were getting ready to kick him in
the gut when Mom started screaming. She crawled across the floor, full
of blood and bruises, and hurled her body across his so you couldn't
kick him. And the most terrible thing about that memory was the look
on your face. Because in spite of everything he'd ever done to her, and
to us, he was still what she loved the most. I thought you would cry
Creedence, but you didn't. You ran out the door and straight into the
desert. We chased you but couldn't catch up for nearly an hour."
"I don't remember that," I frowned.
I didn't. There were a thousand rotten memories to choose from and
none of them stood out too much against

the others at the moment.
"It happened," Cord confirmed. "I'm sure it did."
Chase had gotten closer to the body. He wasn't crying but he seemed
pretty damn close.
"I wish you'd loved us the way we loved you," he said and the raw hurt
of that honesty almost brought me to my knees. Cord let out a small,
agonized sound and turned away. I stared at the floor. If the stories
were true and hell possessed infinite rooms then surely this was one of
them.
Chase tucked the blanket closer to the body of Maggie Gentry. Her
papery skin had already begun to look strange. I tried to think back to
the last thing she'd ever said to me but then decided I didn't really didn't
want to remember it after all. It wouldn't have been anything nice.
"Goodbye," Chase whispered and then backed away. I watched him
breathe deeply and close his eyes. When he opened them again they
were clear and calm.
Cord was the one who'd wanted to come here and say goodbye but in
the end he couldn't seem to find the words. He touched her shoulder
and then recoiled.
"You okay?" I asked him, and then mentally kicked myself

for asking such a dickhead question.
Cord nodded but he was leaning his palms against the far wall with his
head down, breathing hard like he was trying not to be sick. I was
starting to worry about him. Our mother had been lost to us for many
years. We knew it. And Cord has always been the most rational of us,
the one who would talk me and Chase out of shit like diving into a
raging canal during a flash flood as we tried to shove each other aside
to prove who was the toughest. But I guess there was no way to tell how
you'll react to heartache until it happens.
I didn't feel the need to get any closer to her. She wasn't in there
anymore anyway and if there was something to theories about souls
hanging around for awhile, watching the world pass by, then she could
still hear me just as well from across the damn room.
"We're your sons," I said, even though I'd stopped thinking of myself as
anyone's son a long time ago. "You don't even fucking know us and
you never did. But we're alive because of you. We survived in spite of
you. And now we're fine without you."
I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice. It hung in

the air, as suffocating as the harsh odor of the room, a smell that tried to
mask death and was only halfway successful. I'd already crossed the
room and had my hand on the doorknob before I turned around.
"I hope if there is such a thing as peace wherever you are that you were
finally able to find it."
I opened the door and waited while Chase nudged Cord away from the
wall.
Gaps and the black-haired woman were waiting at a polite distance
down the hall.
Cord had gotten ahold of himself and shook the woman's hand.
"Thank you for that," he said and the woman gave him a sympathetic
smile before returning to the room of the dead.
Chase looked at Gaps. "You know if any arrangements have been
made?"
Gaps shook his head. "Benton's been sitting in that cell and as far as I
know it hasn't even been brought up yet." He paused. "I'd imagine they
didn't make plans for this so if he doesn't come forward I can make
some calls. You have a problem with cremation?"
"No," I said quickly. "That's actually better."

"A lot cheaper too," Gaps said. "How long are you boys planning on
staying in town?"
"Not long. We're not planning on hanging around after today."
"Understood." He motioned to the door. "I've got to get back on shift
but let me walk you out."
More time had passed than I'd thought. It was mid morning and I could
see clouds hanging around over the mountains to the southeast. The sun
managed to catch me right between the eyes and for a few seconds I
saw nothing.
Then I saw something I really didn't want to see.
"Mother fucker," I muttered.
Because there he was. Flushed, jowly and limping along on the other
side of Main Street. He stopped in his slovenly tracks when he saw us.
He raised a hand like he was hailing a fucking cab.
"Mother fucker," I said again because it was all I could think of,
standing there on the sidewalk while Benton Gentry waved at me.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHASE
I felt an odd sense of peace as the three of us exited the building where
we'd visited our mother's dead body. I hadn't been expecting that, the
relief. For years I'd waited for this news with sick dread but when it
finally arrived it wasn't the crushing blow that I'd always feared. Maybe
because I'd finally come to accept that my mother wasn't going to be
saved. She wasn't going to wake up one morning and smack her
forehead and realize what she'd done to herself and to us. She wasn't
going to get help. All she would ever be was a miserable wraith with
one foot on earth and the other in the grave. At least now both feet were
together. I'd stared down into my mother's face and wished her good
luck in whatever world she found herself in next.
Anyway, that sense of peace was jolted when I got a look at Creed's
face and then a split second later saw exactly what he was staring at.
Benton Gentry should have counted himself lucky that the width of
Main Street separated him from us or else Creed would probably have
charged him like a mad Viking. Benton looked somewhat the worse for
wear

and considering what a shitty mess he usually was, that was really
saying something. He was disheveled, unshaven, dirty, and seemed
about ready to collapse into a pile of bones on the sidewalk.
Creed cursed. Cord let out a hiss and turned his back. And I stared as
Benton slowly raised his hand to give the most inappropriate wave
hello in the history of human greetings.
Gaps must have gotten a clue that there was about to be some ugliness.
He ushered us back toward the police station and hailed a young officer
standing in the parking
lot.
"Do me a favor, Cruz, and drive that asshole back to the far side of
town where he belongs."
The officer grunted, glanced at Benton in distaste, but ducked into his
squad car and swung it around to the other side of the street. He
probably got something of an argument in return for the favor but
maybe Benton was more malleable today given the fresh tragedy of his
wife's death.
I watched as the squad car drove away with Benton in the backseat and
then exhaled with relief when it was out of s ight.

Gaps couldn't really hang around any longer without catching some
grief from his superiors. He shook each of our hands. "In case I don't
run into you again before you leave town."
"See ya, man," I said, returning the handshake. "Deck is flying back
today so I'm sure he'll be around real soon."
"Good," Gaps nodded. "Missed that asshole. Emblem just isn't as
colorful without him." He waved and then disappeared inside the police
station.
"Guess that's that," said Creed, squinting down Main
Street.
I was n't in any hurry to go though. Now that Benton was out of sight
Emblem looked a lot less forbidding.
Cord shrugged, apparently thinking the same thing I was thinking. "I'm
in no hurry."
"We could take a ride over to check on the junior Gentrys," I suggested.
Creed glanced at his watch. "Fine. But first I'm due for another
feeding."
It was still a little early for anyplace to be open for lunch and pickings
in Emblem were slim to begin with. We made do with the Dino Gas
convenience store, loading up on

snacks and sodas. I was glad that the girl behind the counter wasn't
familiar because I still wasn't feeling terribly social. We hung out on a
long bench just outside, just munching chips and talking about random
shit, everything but the subject of dead mothers or vile fathers, before
heading over to The Hills, the neighborhood where we'd dropped the
boys off the night they went all Fast and Furious.
"That it?" Creed asked, slowing down as we cruised down an orderly
street.
"No." I pointed. "That's it."
Creed stopped short right in front of the one story ranch-style house.
The landscaping was unkempt and the house itself looked a little more
disorderly than its neighbors.
"No car in the driveway," Creed observed. "Hope that witchy mother of
theirs isn't around. From what I remember she's not a real big people
person."
"And you are," I snorted.
Creed ignored the comment. "What the hell's her name again?"
"Stacy," Cord answered. "Tracy," I corrected.

We s tood there banging on the door and then waiting a full two
minutes before starting to give up and turn away. Suddenly there was a
click and the door opened, revealing a shirtless, tousled Stone Gentry.
"Oh hey, it's you guys," he said, keeping the door open a bare few
inches and glancing behind him.
"It's us," I said. "Figured as long as we were in town we'd drop by and
check on you guys."
Stone's mouth turned down and he stepped all the way outside onto the
front stoop.
"I heard," he said sheepishly. "About your mom. My loudmouthed
mother was gossiping on the phone this morning. I never met your
mom but I saw her around a few times." He coughed. "Sorry."
Cord was staring at the closed door. "Your mom in
there?"
"Nope, she's working at the pharmacy." "And Con?" I asked.
Stone jerked at the mention of Conway. It was weird. His eyes darted
around and he ran a hand through his hair. I'd gotten a chance to really
see the brothers interact and knew what a special fraternal bond looked
like. Yet right then and

there it seemed like Stone would rather listen to pigs squealing into a
megaphone than hear his brother's name.
"Not here," he said vaguely. "Working down at the garage or
something."
"Carson's Garage?"
"Yep."
"You work there too?"
"No."
An uncomfortable silence followed. I got the distinct impression Stone
wasn't in the mood to talk. I doubted it had anything to do with us
though. When I looked over at my brothers Creed was staring at Stone
suspiciously and Cord was idly kicking his toe into a loose brick.
Stone cleared his throat. "When's the funeral?" he asked. "I mean, I'd
like to pay my respects-"
"No funeral," Cord said shortly.
"No funeral," Creed agreed.
"Oh." Stone looked embarrassed. "Well anyway, I'm still real sorry."
"Thanks," I told him. I raised my eyebrows at Cord and he gave me a
nod. It was the kind of silent conversation we'd had ten thousand times.
We knew how to ask each

other a question and give an answer without saying a word.
"Listen, we were tossing around the idea of maybe hanging out in town
for a few hours before we head back to Tempe. Closure and all that.
You feel like passing a few hours with us old timers?"
A genuine smile flashed across Stone's face. He was a really
good-looking kid, especially when he wasn't being all aloof and
obnoxious. Then the smile disappeared and his eyes dimmed.
"I can't," he said. "Got some stuff to take care of around here."
Creed was looking at me with some impatience. He'd already gotten the
hint that the kid was trying to make a getaway. Maybe he had a girl
stashed behind the door. Unless it was a fashion statement, the open
button on his jeans meant he'd been in the middle of something when
we knocked.
"All right then." I started to back away. "You give me a call if you ever
change your mind about the college track. Never too late."
Stone let out a snort of laughter. "Told you that's not my game, Cord."

"I'm Chase."
He grinned a mile wide. "I know. I was just fucking with you."
Cord and Creed had already bid farewell and reached the truck. When I
glanced back I noticed that Stone was just standing there staring at us,
like he was guarding whatever happened to be waiting behind that
closed door. It made me wonder if he was doing something illegal.
Lord knew drugs were sprinkled around Emblem like candy and there
were more than a few petty dealers who would be happy to take a s
mart kid into their fold. I waved one more time and got into the truck.
"That was awkward," Creed said as he pulled away from the curb.
"A little," Cord agreed.
I was sitting in the back of the cab and couldn't have said what
prompted me to look back one more time. At any rate, Stone had
company on the front stoop now. There was a girl next to him. She was
furiously tucking in her shirt. Then she stopped and abruptly swung a
fist at him. Stone grabbed her wrist and yelled something that made her
instantly calm down. She put her arms around him and

rested her cheek against his chest. The last thing I saw before we turned
the corner was him opening the door and nudging her inside. "Shit," I
muttered.
Cord swiveled around with raised eyebrows. "What's
up?"
"Nothing." I took a closer look at him. "You sure you're okay?"
He shrugged. "As okay as any of us are." "What about you, Big C?"
"I've had better days," Creed said slowly. "But I'm dealing."
We drove out of The Hills, passing the quaint historic s ection of
downtown Emblem. There was some historical society that scraped
enough pennies together every few years to stick a plaque on
something. Half the downtown had plaques on it. Shit like, "Here is
where the first female doctor in the Arizona Territory sat down for ten
minutes. "
"Creed," I spoke up suddenly. "Take that right. Off the main road."
Creed obeyed, turning down the rough gravel that meandered for a
good half mile before stopping near the old

railroad bridge.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"Let's hike the butte."
"It's a hundred degrees out."
"We've got water bottles. We can go hang out at old Elmore's house."
"Let's do it," Cord agreed. "I need to sweat some of this tension out."
Creed swung the truck onto the shoulder of the road in the s hade of a
broad mesquite tree. Climbing the butte was what passed for outdoor
recreation in Emblem. The summit was less than a twenty-minute brisk
hike and contained a s trange monument to Elmore Emblem, the town's
namesake. He followed some unusual religion that had to do with
worshipping the sun and supposedly he was buried up there. You could
see the memorial from the ground. It was a tall triangle made of brick
and a strangely crooked door was cut into the side. It was wide enough
to fit three people comfortably and half a dozen uncomfortably. For
some reason it was always cooler inside than it ought to be, considering
it sat atop a hill in the blazing Arizona sun.
I would have been the first one to reach the top if

Creedence didn't suddenly decide to be a dick and sprint up the last few
yards, kicking up a bunch of dust in my face in the process. Cord was
right behind me. He let out a low whis tle when we caught up to Creed.
"There it is," he gestured. "All of metropolitan Emblem."
It was a great view from where we stood, if you really wanted to see
Emblem in the first place. The prison kind of dominated the skyline, a
metropolis unto itself. There was Main Street and the high school, the
slightly sloping grounds of The Hills. Houses were clustered together
in tired-looking neighborhoods. What we couldn't see, even if we
squinted, was Gentry territory. It was just as well. There wasn't
anything pretty to look at there. Just dry, prickly land dotted with
mostly neglected homes.
"Seems like a long time ago, doesn't it?" mused Cord. He s tood a few
feet apart, gazing down over the valley with a pensive look on his face.
"It was a long time ago," I agreed. It had been nearly eight years since
we called Emblem home. We took off straight out of high school,
figuring that a vibrant university town an hour's drive away was our
best bet for making it on our own. It was rough in the beginning and
some days we'd

wonder if we were destined to be Emblem Gentrys forever after all. But
little by little we climbed our way to something better.
Creed must have been thinking the same thing. "I'm proud of us," he
said.
Despite the shadow that hung over the day we relaxed for a while,
hanging out in old Elmore's crypt like we'd done on more than a few
occasions as kids. We talked about the past, we imagined the future,
and we gave each other a hard time, like always. By the time Creed
stretched and announced he was due for another meal the light was
getting softer as the sun began to relax
We took our time getting down the butte and Cord suggested that we go
get some dinner at the Emblem Diner on Main Street. Our ladies
weren't expecting us home until nightfall anyway so there was plenty of
time. Still, I thought Creed would balk at the idea of running into town
regulars and accepting a bunch of thoughts and prayers for our mother's
death.
But when he just shrugged and said, "Sounds good," I couldn't come up
with a single argument to the contrary.
"Guys," Cord said as we reached the truck. "I was

thinking maybe we could ask the young Gentry boys if they want to
come stay up in Tempe for a week or two this summer. We've got an
extra bedroom at the house."
It wasn't a bad idea. We could take them to the museums in Phoenix,
take them on a tour of the university. Maybe that would be enough
motivation to get them to think of school more seriously.
But despite all that I couldn't make myself answer cheerfully because I
knew something I hadn't told Cord or Creed. Things were about to get
rough between the brothers, if what I'd seen as we drove away from
their house earlier was any clue. Stone had been acting strangely
evasive, then there was a heated exchange with a girl that looked like it
was apt to end in the bedroom.
There would have been nothing awful about it, just teenage drama
bullshit, except for the fact that I recognized her. I recognized her right
away because I'd met her before. She was Erin, the girl next door. She
was Conway's girl.

CHAPTER NINETEEN
CORD
It had seemed like a good idea when I suggested it, but now that we
were actually walking into the Emblem Diner I started feeling uneasy.
The dark interior was a stark contrast to the blazing world outside but
maybe it made the place feel cooler or something. My brothers seemed
comfortable just pushing right in, but I hung back, a little wary as my
eyes adjusted to the darkness. There wasn't really a reason to be wary.
It was extremely unlikely we'd find Benton hanging out in here since he
gravitated toward hard drinking holes rather than family restaurants.
Plus, we'd all watched him get carted home by one of Emblem's finest.
Still, I would rather be able to clearly see what I was walking into.
A few of the patrons looked us over but most showed no interest. I
relaxed a little as I realized even the familiar faces were only going to
nod briefly and then return to their drinks. There was nothing to worry
about in here.
Creed and Chase headed for a table in the corner and I automatically
followed. It wasn't more than a few seconds before a waitress in a tube
top approached. I wasn't

s urprised to recognize her.
"Oh my god, is it really you guys?" she squealed.
Kelly Barnes had been in the class after ours and had lost some of the
hopeful prettiness of her youth. I realized she was watching me in
particular.
"Hi Kel," I answered, feeling rather uncomfortable by the memory of
just how well I had once known her. "How have you been?"
"Amazing." She laughed. Her laugh sounded like a dry dog bark. "You
know, I've only got a few hours before my shift ends. You guys have
got to let me take you out for a round of drinks."
"Ah, thanks Kelly, but I promised my wife I'd be home early."
"Wife." She screwed up her pretty face. Poor Kelly, she wore her
thoughts out loud. She clicked her pen and stared real hard at her
notepad. "What'll you have?" she asked in a much less enthusiastic
voice.
"Burger and a coke," I told her.
"A Coke?" She was puzzled.
"Please," I said with a straight face.
"Burgers and cokes all around," Chase grinned with a

wink. "And a bowl of those salted peanuts if you got 'em."
"Whatever you say," Kelly grumbled before retreating.
Creed was watching me tap my fingers on the table. He frowned.
"Something wrong?"
"Maybe we should have just pointed our noses toward home."
"Not too late," Chase offered. "We can get something to eat in Queen
Creek."
I shook my head. I was just being paranoid.
Creed snapped his fingers. "Cord, someone's watching you."
"I think Kelly already got the picture."
"It's not Kelly."
I didn't want to turn around. This had been a mistake. I turned slowly,
half expecting to be eye to eye with another ancient conquest. Instead I
found myself looking into the face of my father-in-law.
He was sitting by himself at the restaurant bar with a half empty pint of
beer in front of him. He had evidently just come from his guard shift at
the prison; he'd rolled up the sleeves of his wrinkled work shirt but still
had his nametag on.

John McCann's face was tired but not unfriendly as he gave me a nod of
acknowledgement and waited to see what I would do.
"Invite him over," Chase suggested but I hesitated. If Saylor's dad had
wanted to keep company with us he would have climbed off the bar
stool and made his way over here hims elf.
"I'll be back, boys," I excused myself and cautiously approached the
bar.
Since Saylor and I had gotten married, my relationship with John
McCann had slowly evolved from angry glares into sort of a stiff
politeness. I figured he was trying his damn best to get used to me but
couldn't quite let go of the fact that not only was I a Gentry but I was a
Gentry who had badly hurt his only daughter when we were kids.
"John," I said, and carefully held my hand out. He shook it, as he
always did, but pulled back quickly. Again, as he always did.
John swiveled around on the stool as I sat beside him. "Saylor with
you?" he asked and I heard the hopeful rise in his voice.
"No, she's home with the girls."

John smiled faintly. "How are Cami and Cassie?"
"Beautiful. Like their mother Getting bigger every day. Say posts
pictures online all the time, don't you see them?"
"Yeah, I do. I should come around more. I haven't seen the girls since
Christmas and I keep meaning to make the drive up but we're
understaffed and I've been putting in twelve hours, seven days a week."
He paused, took a drink and then turned a frank stare on me. "I'm sorry,
Cord. About your mama."
I stared at the lacquered surface of the bar. "You know the truth. You
know she's been gone a long time."
He nodded and his mouth turned down. "You know, I remember her
well. When she first got here she drove the town berserk. Man, she was
a beauty. "
"So I've heard," I said quietly.
He nudged my shoulder slightly. "I'm sorry, kid. Didn't mean to rub salt
in the wound."
"You didn't. There's no point in dwelling on what's gone though. That
girl you remember died long before my mother
did."
"Fucking Benton," he spat and I saw the hatred in his eyes. I didn't
know what kind of run-ins the two of them

had endured, growing up at the same time in the same small place but it
certainly wasn't friendly. John grimaced. "Shit, I just keep shoving my
foot in my mouth, don't I?"
"It's okay," I assured him, watching my brothers pretend like they
weren't trying to overhear us as some waitress other than Kelly dropped
off our drinks.
John took another sip of beer and was slow to put the glass down. He'd
probably run out of things to say. A few times it over the years it had
struck me that there was always this elephant in the room, just squatting
there blinking at the two of us. There was always something that had
gone unsaid, something we had never talked about. Maybe today was
the day to send all old hurts to their final end.
"John," I said and he looked up. "All these years and I've never
apologized to you."
He tensed. "For what, Cord?" He was going to make me say it, to
acknowledge what I'd done.
"For treating your daughter like dirt. For hurting her, humiliating her." I
swallowed. "I never really understood what it must have been like for
you, until I held my own girls."
He watched me without blinking. Saylor had inherited her

green eyes from him.
"I hated you," he said tersely. "That's no mystery. For a father to see his
little girl hurting like that, it's agony. I figured you'd end up being the
same miserable heap your old man was." Then he sighed and looked
kind of unhappy. "But you were just a dumb kid with your own fucking
problems."
"I was," I agreed. "And I still don't know what the hell I ever did to
deserve your daughter. I don't know why she gave me a chance to prove
I wasn't that nasty piece of shit any more. But I'll happily spend the rest
of my life atoning for that and for every other fucked up thing I ever did
if that's what it takes to be the man that Saylor and the girls deserve."
He nodded sadly and turned back to his beer. "I wasn't there for her
enough. I was a rotten father most of the time."
I didn't argue with him. Saylor was more wounded by her mother's flat
out rejection, but she had always acutely felt his emotional distance.
Still, there was a bright side. He deserved to hear it.
"She turned out to be an amazing woman anyway."

John smiled. "Yes she did." He took his phone from his back pocket
and ran his thumb over the screen. The wallpaper was a photo I had
taken of Saylor as she held our newborn baby daughters. Her smile was
so full of brilliant joy it made the screen fairly radiate. John stared at the
image of his daughter and granddaughters for a moment before flicking
to another picture. It was Saylor as a toddler. She carried a dandelion in
her hand and a look of wistful wonder on her face.
"I got married too young," John said with dreamy regret. "I wasn't
ready to be a dad and by the time I got used to the idea she was half
grown and it seemed like I didn't know her at all. It's only now that I
realize she's the only good thing I ever managed to do with my life."
I felt myself softening toward the man. He wasn't the perfect father but
he loved his daughter. "It not too late. Take a day for crying out loud.
Take two. Drive up to Tempe. It would make her so happy and you
could spend time with the girls. " I swallowed. "You know, you're the
only grandparent they're going to have."
I hadn't realized that was true until I said it out loud. But Saylor's
mother wanted nothing to do with any of them. My

mother was now dead. And if Benton came within a thousand feet of
my girls I would rip out his fucking jugular.
John pocketed his phone and stood. "Yeah, I'll do that. Soon, I
promise." He held out his hand again and for the first time his
handshake was sincere. "Do better than I did, Cordero. Be there every
damn day."
"I plan to."
He s tarted to leave and then turned around again. "Again, I'm sorry
about Maggie. Please know that there are still some folks in Emblem
who remember her as more than a wrecked addict."
It had always made me sad, to hear stories about what my mother had
been like a lifetime ago. It didn't make me sad anymore.
"Thanks, John."
When I rejoined my brothers we kept the conversation light as we
waited for our food to arrive. The brief sense of calm that I'd felt
standing atop the butte with my brothers as we looked at the landscape
of our hometown started to return. I would always wonder now and
then if there was anything else I could have done for my mother to save
her from herself and from Benton. But mostly I'd come to terms

with the fact that there wasn't any other way this could have ended.
"Should we start heading home?" I asked my brothers when the meals
had all been polished off.
"Yeah," Chase said, and then he grinned as he glanced at his buzzing
phone. "My bride misses me."
Probably about ten minutes earlier I'd heard the wails of nearby sirens
but they didn't alarm me. Then they began multiplying and the
shrieking symphony started attracting more attention. Some of the
other diners began craning their necks to see outside to Main Street, a
few even wandering outdoors to find out what the fuss was all about.
A man I vaguely recognized walked inside and wiped his s weaty face
with a red bandana before making his way over to the bar. A word
caught my attention and I didn't imagine it because both Creed and
Chase were instantly alert, staring straight at the newcomer who had
said 'Gentry'. But he wasn't looking our way. I knew that whatever had
happened had nothing to do with us.
Someone asked the man a question and he shook his head. "Nah, not
the kid who works down at Carson's Garage. It was his brother, Stone
Gentry."

Chase was up and out of his chair in a heartbeat.
"Hey," he called and the man spun around.
His scowl vanished when he got a really good look at us though. "I
know you boys. Benton's kids, right?" He winced. "Lord sure did take a
colossal crap on the Gentrys today. First Maggie and now that
hellraising teenager."
Creed threw some money on the table and grabbed my elbow. "Come
on. Let's go see what the fuck this is."
Chase looked pretty shaken up already and the man who'd come
barreling into the diner dropping names was low on details. I put a hand
on Chase's shoulder and guided him outside. Every red flashing light in
the county was collected at the south end of Main Street. In the middle
of it all was a pile of twisted metal and beside it a covered stretcher that
didn't conceal the shape of the human body it held. A pair of
paramedics picked it up gingerly and started walking back to a waiting
ambulance. We didn't make it ten yards before we ran right into Gaps.
He looked like he might vomit on the pavement.
"I was heading down to the diner," he said and sounded as if he would
rather be saying any other words than the ones he needed to say. "Heard
you were there."

"Where's Stone?" asked Chase. "Is that him? Is he
dead?"
Gaps swallowed and looked at the ground. "No, Stone is n't dead."
"But someone is?"
"Yes," he nodded sorrowfully. "Someone is."

CHAPTER TWENTY
CREED
There was no word that described the news. 'Horrible' and 'tragic' was
the kind of shit people mumbled when they didn't really know how to
label it and just wanted to get away.
At some point between the time we left him standing in front of his
house in all his cocky, shirtless glory and half an hour ago, Stone
Gentry had stolen a car, raced another jackass kid through the streets of
Emblem, and finally crashed so hard his passenger, a teenage girl, was
killed instantly. The other driver was a classmate who'd suffered a
number of injuries and was carted away in an ambulance. Stone
Gentry, however, managed to walk away from the wreckage without a
scratch.
He might have been wishing he was dead though, or at least
unconscious, as he was hauled away in handcuffs. Just before he was
hustled into a squad car he glanced back at the mess he had made. I
caught the sick look of grief on his face. There was no way we'd be
getting him out of this one.

"Who was the girl?" I asked. "The teenage girl who was
killed?"
Gaps grimaced as he looked back at the wreck. "Erin Rielo." He sighed.
"Good kid, good family. Sometimes I play pool with Mack, her dad.
Erin was his oldest daughter and he's going to be hurting like no man
should ever have to hurt."
Erin. The senseless death of a young girl was awful no matter what. But
as I tossed the name around in my head I had the nagging sense that it
should mean something particular to me.
The instant he heard the news Chase let out a weird noise and lowered
his head for a minute, looking like he was going to be sick. Then he
lifted his head, swallowed, and surveyed the s cene grimly.
"Where's Conway?" he asked hoarsely.
"Oh, shit," Cord muttered softly and then he too looked like he was
going to be sick.
"Conway wasn't in the accident, was he?" I asked. Even if he wasn't
involved, of course he would still be devastated. I'd seen firsthand what
a close bond the brothers shared. Those two were like peanut butter and
jelly

and probably had been since they were babies. So yeah, Conway was
bound to take Stone's arrest pretty hard, given that his brother was
almost certainly looking at a lengthy prison sentence if everything
Gaps had said so far was true. Still, I felt like I was missing something
that my brothers understood.
"He wasn't involved," Gaps confirmed. "I know he's been putting in
weekends at Carson's Garage so I sent a car around to look for him
there."
I nodded. "Okay."
"You know Erin," Chase told me. "We met her. Con's girlfriend."
And in a flash I understood what they already knew. I remembered the
way she hung on his arm, a pretty young girl in love. And I
remembered the way he stared down at her as if he couldn't believe his
dumb luck that she was with him.
I jus t s tared at the ground. Nothing I could say would be adequate. A
horrific tragedy had just become even more appalling.
Gaps hurried away when another officer beckoned. With Chase leading
the way, we edged a little closer to the fatal

scene. Glass was everywhere. Two mangled cars - one a beat up classic
Chevy and the other a newer model Toyota -had come to rest about
fifteen yards apart after the crash. The corner was the site of a four way
stop and Gaps had said they were racing. It didn't really make sense
how they would crash into each other if they were racing side by side,
but I supposed there were any number of scenarios that could have
happened. Maybe they were trying to avoid another driver, or a
pedestrian. Maybe one had spun out and smashed into the other.
It didn't matter how it had happened. The result was still the s ame.
The three of us stood there, miserable and silent. It seemed wrong to
leave. Stone had been hauled off to the police station but no one had
seen Conway yet. We couldn't abandon him if there was a chance we
might help him in s ome way.
"Erin! Get the fuck off me, man. ERIN!"
By now a sizeable crowd had gathered on the perimeter of the wreck.
Emblem residents had walked away from their dinners and their places
of business to see what all the fuss was about. Once they heard just how
bad it was they spoke

in hushed whispers and stared sadly at the ruins while staying at a
discreet distance, lest the horror of it get too close to them.
We heard Conway shouting before we saw him break through the
crowd. His face was wild as he shoved aside spectators and first
responders, trying to reach the scene. One nearby cop moved to grab
him but he backed off when Gaps appeared and issued a quiet request
to the other officer.
"ERIN!" Conway screamed.
Gaps put a kindly arm around the kid's shoulder. We were close enough
to hear him say, "I told you, son. She's gone. I'm sorry."
Conway Gentry just broke. He dropped right down to his knees and
even though he didn't let out a sound, the sight of the way he just
crumpled would have singed even a frozen heart.
Several in the crowd murmured with sympathy and turned away, a few
wiping tears from their cheeks. Emblem wasn't that big of a place and
tragedies were always just a little more tragic in small towns. Many of
those flanking Main Street likely knew the Gentry brothers, and they
likely knew

Erin as well. Maybe their kids went to school with these kids or maybe
they picked up their prescriptions from Conway's mother at the
pharmacy or shot pool with Erin's father. This would manage to reach
them all in some way.
Chase knelt beside Conway and gathered him into his arms as if Con
was a small child instead of a nearly grown man. The boy wept on my
brother's shoulder and then slowly raised his head, looking around with
anguished, red eyes.
"Where the hell is Stone?" he demanded. Gaps leaned down and rested
a hand on his shoulder. He met my eyes. "I haven't told him yet," he
explained quietly. Con threw Gaps's hand aside and stood. "Where the
hell
is he?"
"Stone isn't hurt," Chase assured him.
Conway stared right at him. There was so much warring emotion in his
face. Heartbreak for sure. And something else. Anger. "Of course he's
not. He's never fucking hurt. So where the fuck is he?"
"Your brother was the driver," Gaps told him. It was another hard piece
of news to take but there was no point in avoiding it. "He was behind
the wheel of that stolen Chevy

and the girl, Erin, was in the passenger seat."
Conway blinked at him. He didn't move. He didn't breathe.
Gaps shifted his weight and cleared his throat. "Your brother was
arrested at the scene and is being booked at the station."
"Stone was the driver," Conway muttered as he raked a shaking hand
through his hair. "Stone was the driver."
Chase reached for him but Con suddenly hit a boiling point, pacing
back and forth and breathing in gasps. His hands went to his shaggy
dark blonde hair, the same hair that my brothers and I had if we ever
decided to let it grow long. He pulled at the roots hard, as if he was
trying in vain to substitute one small pain for another much larger one.
I didn't know if it was kinder to stand back and let him blow or try to
yank him back our way to be wrapped with sympathy.
Then without warning he stopped, drew back and punched a solid
metal light pole. The sound of bone meeting metal was terrible.
"Conway," I called sharply.
He hadn't cried out although the hit must have been agony. He held his
hand out in front of him and stared at it

dumbly as if he couldn't guess the reason the knuckles were split and
the skin was turning purple.
"He took her before he took her," he said blankly and I had no idea
what the hell he was talking about. It must have been the grief and the
shock of losing his girl and then moments later finding out his brother
was responsible for her death. Although there was something strange
about it. No one had yet answered the question as to why Stone had
chosen to take his brother's girlfriend on a crazy joyride in a s tolen car.
Chase got a firm arm around Conway and led him to a nearby bench.
The kid just sat there kind of dazed and silently allowed Chase to take a
closer look at his hand.
"That'll mean a trip to the hospital," Chase said, wincing as he gently
turned the hand over. Conway didn't make a sound or even
acknowledge that he'd heard.
Cord came to my side. Our eyes met and he nodded tiredly. Of course
there was no way we could just take off now and leave our young
cousin sitting here on Main Street with his s hock and his broken hand.
As for his brother, even I had to admit that there was nothing we could
do for Stone at this point. I recalled the

night we drove down here to rescue the brothers from petty trouble that
landed them in a jail cell. The last thought I'd had as we left them
behind was a hope that they'd step back from the ledge that straddled
the good world and the bad. I was sorry that Stone hadn't been able to
find his way. His reckless actions had cost a young girl her life and
would change the course of his.
"Want me to take a quick look at that hand?"
A female paramedic with smile lines around her eyes and white blonde
hair coiled atop her head had appeared out of nowhere. She had a very
maternal look about her. Conway stared at her dully as she gently
prodded his swollen hand.
"That has to hurt something fierce," she clucked but there was soft
kindness in her voice. She opened up a black bag that had been slung
around her shoulder and removed a tan elastic bandage. "I can at least
get it immobilized and protected until you can get to the ER."
She wrapped the hand up carefully while Conway continued to stare at
nothing.
"You think he's all right?" I asked Cord in a whisper.
Cord looked at me like I was cracked. I winced.
"I mean, I know he's not fucking all right. But you don't

think he's going to go run in front of a bus or something,
right?"
Cord shook his head. "We won't let him."
I glanced around and noticed the cops were starting to shoo everyone
away. After all, this was the scene of a fatal car accident. I avoided
looking too closely at the wreck site, trying not to imagine that poor girl
spending her final moments there. I hoped it was over before she had a
chance to realize it was coming.
Conway was slumped on the bench, awkwardly holding onto his
bandaged hand while Chase kept trying to comfort him.
"We should probably ask if anyone's called his mother," I s aid.
Cord nodded. "If they did she might have decided to go to the police
station first."
"At any rate we ought to get him off the street. Maybe take him home
and wait around there until his mom shows
up."
"Not a bad idea. He doesn't need to be sitting here looking at this all
night."
I pulled my phone out of my pocket. "Guess we should

tell our wives not to expect us home real soon."
My brother's mouth was a tight line. "No, we won't be home soon."

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHASE
If I could pick him up and cradle him against my shoulder until he
stopped shaking then I would.
If I could soothe him with promises that everything would be okay then
I would do that too.
But it all would be a lie. And it would cheat him out of the chance to
feel what he needed to feel.
I knew from the harsh master of experience that the only way to handle
pain was to let it run its course. Numbing it, dulling it, hiding from it,
all of that only lead to a volcanic buildup.
Conway refused to call his mother and he refused to go home,
becoming even more agitated every time we mentioned it. From what
little I'd gathered of Tracy Gentry, she wasn't close to her sons but even
a distant mother was probably better than none right now
"I told you," grumbled Conway. "She won't give a shit."
Most of the onlookers had dispersed. A few had paused, watching us on
the bench we'd been sitting on since Con hammered his hand into a
metal light pole. They looked like

they wanted to say something to Conway. If he knew any of them
personally he gave no indication. There was one s trange moment
where I locked eyes with a thin, attractive woman who was probably in
her mid forties. She seemed very familiar but it wasn't until she sneered
and turned deliberately away that I realized I was looking at Saylor's
estranged mother. I glanced over at Cord to see if he'd noticed her but
he hadn't. He stood on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets,
consulting quietly with Creed.
"We'll wait with you," I told Conway, again trying to convince him that
a bench on Main Street was not the best place for him right now. "We'll
stay there with you as long as you want. You don't have to be alone."
The kid just shook his head. "She'll be done with us. She said so."
"Conway. You didn't do anything wrong."
He frowned. "Didn't I?" His voice was vague, like he honestly couldn't
remember.
His hand was sitting there useless on his knee. Even through the
bandages I could tell it was horribly swollen. There are dozens of bones
in the human hand and that raging assault on a street pole had likely
shattered a few of

them.
"At least let us take you to the hospital," I said. "Get that hand taken
care of."
Conway looked at his hand. He lifted it, trying to flex the fingers and
winced over the pain.
"It's probably broken," I said. "It won't heal right if you don't get it set."
Cord and Creed were looking our way and I realized they were hanging
back on purpose, figuring I had the best shot at getting through to him.
"Come on," I tried again, trying to lift him up by the elbow.
Surprisingly, he allowed it. He kept his head down and his damaged
hand close as he followed me to Creed's truck.
"Emblem Medical Center?" Creed asked me once I'd loaded Conway
into the passenger seat.
"I guess," I shrugged. "We can try and track down his mom while we're
waiting."
Cord sat beside me in the back and Creed started the truck, taking care
to turn the stereo volume to mute before he did. This was not a moment
that needed a soundtrack.
The medical center was still fairly new. It hadn't been

built until after we'd been out of Emblem for a few years. It was small,
but a good addition to the town. Before it came along everyone had to
drive a good thirty miles away just to get an infected hangnail treated.
Luckily the woman behind the front desk recognized Conway so she
helped him get all the paperwork filled out. There were some insurance
questions that none of us knew how to answer but when it looked like it
was going to be a problem Cord grabbed the clipboard and signed it,
agreeing to be the res ponsible party.
The waiting room was nearly empty. An unwashed drunk s lept in a
corner, exhaling eighty proof with every wheezing breath. I stayed
close to Conway although he waved me off when the nurse arrived to
bring him back for x-rays.
Reluctantly I sat down and watched him go, feeling protective and sad.
There was no way to have a good outcome to this night. And a kid that
age wouldn't really know how to quiet all the raging conflicts tearing
apart his soul. Once upon a time things went really dark for me. I had a
ticket to the same terrible place that had captured my mother. But my
brothers had put their arms around me and pulled me back.

"Dont crawl into the hole, Chasyn, " Creed whispered. "But even if you
do we 're coming in after you. "
"Every goddamn time, " Cord said, hugging me. "Always."
If Conway Gentry found himself sinking, who was left to go after him?
Cord must have read my thoughts. "We'll help him, Chase," he said
soberly. "We will."
I sighed. "Maybe we can talk to Tracy. Ask her to let him spend a
chunk of the summer with us. She might go for it. It'll be tough for him
to be here right now."
"Yeah," Creed nodded, stretching. "Let's just hope she doesn't
remember the time I pissed in her ceramic birdbath."
"Why the hell did you do that?"
He shrugged. "I had to go. It was there." "Creedence logic at its finest."
He was staring at me thoughtfully. "I got the feeling Con was all kinds
of angry at his brother even before Gaps told him that Stone was the
driver."
"Really? I hadn't noticed."
Creed continued to stare at me. It was like being on the receiving end of
an alien mind probe. Creed always knew

when something was up. He knew when I was using, when I was lying,
and when I was hiding something.
"I saw them," I said, lowering my voice to nearly a whisper since
Emblem had busybodies in every crevice of the town limits. "As we
were driving away from the house this afternoon I saw Erin come out of
the house and ah, let's just say she and Stone seemed to be
inappropriately cozy in a 'I hate you but I love you' kind of way."
Cord's eyebrows shot up and let he let out a low whistle.
"You think he knew?" asked Creed, gesturing to the door Conway had
disappeared behind.
"I don't know. I'm not going to ask."
Creed nodded. "Right."
The drunk in the corner kept snoring and the minutes marched right on
past.
When an hour went by without anything changing but the hands on the
clock I got heavily to my feet and approached the front desk. The
woman who'd helped Conway check in had been replaced by one who
was decidedly less patient. She was making a mess by cutting out little
squares and it took me a minute to realize they were coupons.

"Just go on back," she scowled with a wave of her scissors when I
asked her to check into Con's status.
I hoped my brothers wouldn't follow me and they didn't. I found
Conway lying down on a bed in the triage area. His eyes were closed
and his hand had a fresh bandage. I grabbed a nearby metal folding
chair and parked it next to the bed.
"You're still here," said Con. His eyes remained closed.
"Of course I'm still here. Cord and Creed are too. We're your cousins.
We weren't just going to dump you off and leave you here alone."
His eyes opened. They were blue. Like mine. Like my brothers. He
stared at me with all the wounded confusion of a boy who'd just lost
everything. Then he closed them again.
"I am alone now."
I patted his shoulder, an inadequate gesture.
Then he suddenly shot upright and sat on the edge of the cot. "I can't
even be fucking mad, Chase. At them. For what they did. I can't be
fucking mad because she's dead and he's going to fucking prison."
"You have the right to be angry, Con."

He coughed, looked away. "You don't even know."
"I have an idea."
"You have a girlfriend, Chase?"
"A fiancé."
"And you love her?"
"More than anything."
"As much as you love your brothers?"
I was slow to answer. "Yes. I don't know what I'd do without any of
them."
Conway's shoulders slumped and a tear rolled down his cheek. "We
were together for a long time. Two years. Of course, she grew up next
door so she was in my life long before that. When we were kids the
three of us would hang out together but then Stone and I started
hanging around with a rougher crowd so she wasn't around much. That
all changed two summers ago. She was the only girl I've ever loved."
His voice cracked and he grimaced. "And Stone, he's the only brother
I'll ever have."
There were things I could have told him, about how one mistake can
reverberate for eternity in ways that nobody could have foreseen. But it
would have sounded shallow right now in the face of such treachery
and loss. I couldn't

imagine what reasons there could be for one brother to betray another,
or for a girl who was clearly in love to turn toward the last person on
earth she could have.
Maybe there was more to the story. But all we had right now were the
broken shards of its aftermath.
"Conway? Is there anyone I can call for you, anyone you want to see
right now?"
He shook his head. "No. Stone was my best friend. And Erin was my
heart."
I put my hand on his head. "We're here, kid."
He looked at me with lost, haunted eyes. He didn't say anything.
A nurse dressed in scrubs printed with pink teddy bears wheeled over a
silver cart full of medical stuff and announced it was time to wrap
Conway's hand. Apparently the breaks were simple ones and six weeks
in a cast would be enough. The other wounds would take much longer
to heal, if they ever did.
The nurse started her efficient business of wrapping Conway's hand up.
He looked a little glassy-eyed and I wondered if they'd given him
something for the pain.
"You'll just have to wait here for a little while longer while

it sets," she told him, gently placing his mummified hand in his lap.
"Conway," I said, "I'm just going to go talk to the boys for a few
minutes. I'll be right back."
As s oon as I returned to the lobby I noticed two things immediately.
Cord wasn't anywhere in sight.
And Creed looked tense. Downright grim This hadn't exactly been the
most cheerful day ever but he definitely seemed more disturbed than he
was the last time I saw him.
"What did I miss?" I asked, sinking into a plastic chair with a grunt.
Creed gave me a tight smile. "We had a visitor."
"Oh yeah?"
"The kid's mother heard he was here."
I looked around. "Well, she obviously didn't stay long."
"No. She didn't."
"You two must have had a nice chat."
"Yeah. She knew who I was right away. Well, actually she called me
Chase, but whatever I told her I was sorry about Stone and that Con
was getting treated for the hand he'd broken fighting a Main Street
pole. She told me that

Conway could pick up his stuff at the Mitchells' house. She told me to
tell him that."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"That's exactly what I said. Tracy crossed her arms and said she was
done with all things Gentry and that those two little punks were on their
own. I reminded her that Conway was under eighteen and she should
think twice before just kicking him to the curb. She told me if I cared so
much then I could keep him."
"Holy shit." I shook my head. "What a piece of work."
"No kidding. When it seemed like she was heading back there to wring
him out I stopped her I asked her not to. I was completely polite about it
too. Only used four letter words about sixty times."
"What did she say?"
"She told me to fuck off. Said she'd had enough abuse and was leaving.
Then she smacked her face on the door Limped out of here with her
mouth bleeding. Good thing there are cameras everywhere. I wouldn't
put it past her to file some kind of bullshit police report."
"You think she meant it?"
Creed shrugged. "Who knows. She might have a change

of heart when the sun comes up. But in the meantime I don't think he
has anyplace else to go."
"We can help with that until this gets sorted out."
"I don't think it's going to get sorted out, Chase."
"Hmph." I grunted and rubbed my eyes. Then I looked around.
"Where's Cord?"
"Cord." Creed glanced all over the room as if Cord might be curled up
in a corner somewhere. "He forgot his phone in my truck so he went out
to get it and call Saylor."
I ros e and stretched, hearing bones crack. It had been such a long day.
"I'll catch up to him out there. I need some air anyway. Can you wait
here? I don't want Con to walk out and see an empty room"
"Yeah, I'll wait."
As soon as I walked outside I could hear the Sonoran desert toads that
always returned during the summer rains. You didn't see them too often
in the city but out here they were thick as carpet when it rained. And I
smelled rain in the air.
I'd thought Creed had parked right near the door but I must have been
wrong. I scanned the parking lot, looking for any sign of Cord or of
Creed's truck. I saw neither one.

A man was smoking a cigarette by the door. I knew him, although it
took me a moment to match him to a name.
"Benji Carson." I held my hand out.
"Chase." He shook it. Then he stepped on his cigarette and craned his
neck to see into the lobby. "Heard Conway was here and figured I'd
come down and check on him. He's been working for me, you know
Kind of a cocky little turd at times but overall a decent kid. Hard
worker. Sucks that this happened to him. I don't know the brother that
well." He scratched absently at his thick belly. "I was also sorry to hear
about your mom. You guys have had a shit day that's for sure. First one
tragedy and then another."
"Well, let's just hope that bad things don't really happen in threes." I'd
tossed off the comment lightly but it kind of stuck in the air. A split
second of unreasonable panic followed.
"Did you run into my brother Cord out here?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "Just a few minutes ago. We were chatting about
your folks, and about Deck." Then he frowned. "I think I pissed him off
or something."
"You?" I was surprised. Cord wasn't one to get all agitated over nothing
and it was unlikely that mild-mannered

Benji Carson had done the job. "Why do you think that?"
Carson sighed. "I said something that I figured he knew about already. I
mean, I knew, Gaps knows, there's probably a few more who also know
since Benton is the kind of prick that shoots his mouth off."
My muscles tightened instinctively. I'd been hoping to make it out of
Emblem without hearing Benton's name again.
"Tell me," I said.
Two minutes later I was back in the lobby, Benji Carson on my heels.
Creed shot to his feet as soon as he saw the look on my face.
"We've got to go," I announced.
He tensed. "Where?"
"To find Cord. He took off."
Creed felt around in his pockets. "Shit, he's got my keys."
"I know." I dangled the ring of keys Ben had handed over when I asked
for a favor. "We've got a loaner. You remember Benji Carson. He's
going to hang around here in case Conway comes out before we're
back."
I told Ben to please let Conway know that we hadn't abandoned him.
We would return. Then I hurried after

Creed, who was already waiting at the door.
"You have an idea where he'd go?" he asked as we climbed into the
Carson's Garage tow truck.
"I have an idea," I said grimly.
He didn't ask me anything else. The three of us have always had a
strong connection. Some might call it vaguely supernatural. Others
might point to some scientific theories on the tangled blood bonds
between those who started life together before they even knew they
were alive. I wouldn't know who to believe but what I did know was
that whenever one of my brothers was hurt or in danger some
primordial sense awoke inside of me, warning that a piece of my soul
was at risk.
It was fully awake right now.
The things I'd heard in front of the hospital weren't that terrible. I'd
heard far worse where Benton was concerned. But Cord was walking a
thin edge today. I knew it from the moment I saw him in the dim light
of early morning. Our mother's death had stirred something vulnerable
inside of him. Creed and I didn't need to talk about it to know it was
true. Cordero, our rock, our solid center, was standing over a yawning
precipice that could swallow everything he'd

s truggled so hard to build.
As soon as we were out of the center of town I hit the gas pedal hard.
We careened into the dark desert silently, a singular thought between
us.
Cordero. Dont.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CORD
Chase had just disappeared behind the doors to go search for Conway
when I realized I was missing something.
"Let me have your keys," I told Creed. "I've got to grab my phone out
of the truck and give Say a call."
He tossed them right over. As I was heading out a familiar blonde
woman was on her way in. She looked unwell and exhausted,
preoccupied. She didn't give me a second look though so I might have
been wrong about knowing her.
A storm was brewing to the southeast. The sky had grown dark but I
could see the flashes of lightning and smell the dust. The palo verde
branches swayed in the wind. Sometimes these summer storms were
deceptive. They would seem as if they were bearing straight down on
you. And then they would veer off in the opposite direction or
disappear completely. But wherever they did unleash the effect could
be ferocious, complete with overflowing washes, flooded country
roads.
"Hey there," said a voice and I looked up to see a thickset

middle-aged man closing the door of a tow truck. I hadn't heard it drive
up so either I was too lost in my thoughts or he'd just been sitting there,
watching the approach of the weather and maybe counting the
lightning bolts. It didn't take me long to place him.
"Carson," I said, extending my hand to the owner of Carson's Garage.
He'd been an Emblem fixture since I could remember and more
recently a friend of Deck's. I hadn't been surprised to hear that he'd
hired one of the young Gentry brothers to work in his garage. It had
probably been a favor to Deck.
He crushed a cigarette under his boot and squinted at the medical
building. "Heard that the kid might be here and wanted to check on
him."
"He's here. Cracked his knuckles on a metal post so he's getting put
back together."
"Gonna be tough to get pasted back into one piece after a night like
this."
"That's the truth."
Carson eyed me. "I guess it's been one blow after another for you
guys." He coughed and cleared his throat, shifting around awkwardly.
"Heard about Maggie of

course."
I was silent, remembering a room that held a body that was once a
woman. As soon as I'd set foot in that morgue I knew that moment
would be another one destined to plague my dreams.
"Your dad and I were pals in high school," he continued. "Bet you
didn't know that." I didn't.
Carson sighed. "He wasn't always a rat bastard." He held up a hand.
"Not excusing him by any means. He could be a pain in the ass with an
occasional hair trigger temper but he was a fun guy to have around.
Girls loved him." Carson frowned, gazing out toward the approaching
storm. "I never guessed he'd turn into the mess that he is."
I wasn't concerned about Benton. I didn't want to hear about him. It was
on the tip of my tongue to excuse myself and leave Benji Carson to his
musings of yesteryear when he piped up again.
"He ain't even worked since Christ knows when. Only way he's able to
scrape by at all is because of all the cheddar he extorts from Deck."
He had said it so matter-of-factly I figured I must have

heard him wrong. I almost let it just go by. But something bugged me.
It had bugged me for a while. Benton had to know we were all living
less than an hour's reach from here. He would have had no qualms
about trying force the three of us to cough up some cash if he thought
we had any and he would have used threats and even Maggie as the
means. But we hadn't seen hide nor hair of him in years. Why?
In the back of my mind I knew there had to be a reason. And Benjamin
Carson had just unwittingly coughed it
up.
I crossed my arms. "Just how long has that fucker been weaseling cash
out of my cousin?"
Carson flinched. He pursed his lips together and ran a hand over the
back of his neck, stalling. He must have realized he'd said too much and
after all, if any Gentry had his loyalty it was Deck.
"Long enough," he said carefully, shooting me a sidelong glance.
"Deck gives him just enough to keep him out of your face. The rub is
that he would only keep the flow moving if Benton stayed away from
you guys."
I nodded slowly. "I see."

And I did. I must have been willfully blind not to understand it before.
Between the time Deck got out of the Marines and the time he hooked
up with Jenny, he'd been living in an old trailer that had once belonged
to his father. He kept it parked not fifty yards from Benton's front door
and even though the three of us had nagged him to get the hell out of
Emblem he had stubbornly stayed put for a long time. It wasn't a money
issue. Deck had all kinds of schemes and business going on that kept
the green stuff rolling in.
All at once I had a flashback to being a kid, an ancient time when Deck,
five years older than us, had seemed valiantly enormous. He could
mouth off to Benton outrageously. Benton didn't dare belt him for it or
else he faced the wrath of his older brother, our Uncle Chrome. Deck
stood in front of us whenever he could and spoke for us when we were
too frightened. He was our hero then. And even though he went about it
quietly, he was still trying to be our hero now I felt a surge of love for
my tough, enigmatic cousin. And then I felt a stab of rage for my father.
I stared at the keys in my hand. From here I could see

into the lobby. The blonde woman I'd passed on the way out was saying
something to Creed. Chase must still be in the back with Conway. My
brothers would never let me go confront Benton and if I insisted they
would follow. Creed was the quickest to get riled up and it was unlikely
he'd keep his fists to himself if he was able to get a crack at Benton.
Chase used to feel the strongest emotional attachment to our mother
and this day had already been painful enough for him.
"You all right, Cord?"
"Fine. Look, I don't mean to cut this short but I've got to run a quick
errand."
Cars on looked unconvinced, probably figuring correctly that whatever
errand I was tackling in the midst of all this chaos wasn't harmless. But
he just shrugged. "All right. You take care."
I didn't answer him It wasn't his fault, but I was burning
up.
My lowlife piece of shit father had fouled up everything he touched and
goddammit he was done taking things from the people I loved. It would
never end and it had to end. I had to end it.

There was no looking back once I was in Creed's truck. I was out of the
parking lot and on the road before I could think twice. There was no
plan, not really, no strategy except to let Benton Gentry know that he
was done. He didn't exist for us. I wasn't going to allow him to keep
putting the screws to Deck by dangling us over his head.
I could have found my way out here blindfolded. For the rest of my life
it wouldn't matter how many years passed by. I would still be able to
sniff out this miserable corner of the world. It was coded into my DNA.
I turned down the winding dirt road that led to my parents' place. It was
dark enough that I couldn't really see the homes that squatted out in the
desert but I knew they were there. Some were the property of living
Gentrys, or dead Gentrys, or imprisoned Gentrys. Some looked
halfway decent. Some were utterly s qualid. There were probably
people in this country who would deny that anyone really lived like that
but they would be wrong.
I'd expected my stomach to do backflips when I was back on my
father's property but aside from a vague sense of unease I felt nothing.
This place had disturbed my nightmares for so long it scarcely seemed
real anymore. I

cut the headlights as I coasted the final fifty yards.
A naked single bulb was all that illuminated the outside. I could see a
faint light peeking around the greasy oilcloth that covered the front
room window and figured he was probably in there, sitting alone in the
dark and getting shitfaced in honor of his dead wife.
Calmly knocking on the door made me feel like a complete fucking
hypocrite but I had to keep my head on straight and my hands to
myself. The first round of knocking brought nothing, no response at all.
I waited for a full minute and then pounded harder.
It occurred to me how easy it would be if Benton just didn't answer the
door. I could just go home to Saylor, to my kids, to everything that was
good and gentle in the world, everything that was the opposite of this
place. If Benton ever came around I'd just tell him to eat shit and die.
That wouldn't stop him though.
That's why I stayed at that door and battered it one last time.
"Fuck," groaned a voice somewhere in the dark depths. There was a
crash and then an uneven shuffling sound that drew closer.

I kept my arms at my sides and waited to see my father.
Benton Gentry had once been a powerful man who turned heads; some
lustful, others fearful. But now he was just a soft, blue-eyed puddle. He
outweighed me to be sure, but he was full of weak meat, not muscle. I
didn't want this to come down to violence. Lord knows I had a lot to
lose. But if it did I knew I could take him down in three seconds. There
was a certain power that came with knowing that.
The giant of my nightmares blinked at me owlishly and pushed open
the ragged screen door.
"Hey there, kid," he said, surprise in his voice.
"It's Cordero," I told him.
He scratched at his head, a mop of dark, greying blonde that was patchy
and greasy. Then he chuckled. "I know that. You really think I don't
fucking know which one you
are?"
I had to cross my arms over my chest. I had to do it because my hands
had instinctively drawn up into fists.
He belched and started to wander back inside. "You comin' in?"
I felt for my wedding ring, a habit. Sometimes I caught myself absently
pressing my fingers against it, a reminder

that it represented the solid ground I stood on. But my finger was empty
now. In my haste to get out of the house this morning I'd forgotten to
slip it on. A casual mistake that now seemed to reek of a bad omen.
The smell of rotting food and general filth hit me even before I stepped
over the threshold. My eyes automatically darted to the hallway,
toward the bathroom where my mother had died. A cold finger traveled
up my spine.
"Have a seat," Benton ordered, creaking his way heavily into a peeling
metal chair. The cracked table in front of him held a half empty bottle
of Olde English.
"I'll stand," I said, backing against a wall to be as far away from him as
possible.
Benton looked me over. He wasn't completely wasted. There was a
certain shrewd glint in his eyes.
"Guess the boys are too good to come pay their respects,
eh?"
"You think that's why I'm here? To pay you some fucking respect?"
He s traightened. His lip turned up in a sneer. "That's how this is gonna
go? Your mom dies and you figure you can roll in here as if you ever
gave half a shit and give me

attitude? Well if that's the case you just fuck right off."
I shook my head. "I've got to tell you something first."
He lifted the bottle to his lips and slurped as he swallowed. For a man
who'd just lost his wife of twenty-seven years, he didn't seem especially
heartsick. He put the bottle down with a thud.
"Then tell me," he said as if he was already bored with the situation,
bored with my presence.
I almost just spit out a couple of terse lines about how his meal ticket
was finished and good riddance forever to him and his miserable
loneliness.
Ins tead I grabbed the empty chair that my mother had probably sat in
thousands of times, turned it backward and straddled the seat, leveling
him with a glare while he stared at me with a slack expression.
"You have no family," I informed him. "The three of us were lucky to
make it out of here alive and there will never be forgiveness for what
you've done. Never. I don't forgive Mom either. But it was your fault
she ended up this way."
He snorted. "What kind of trash you going on about? That woman
never met a needle she didn't like and I did what I could with her."

My hands wanted to grab his smug skull by the ears and bash it right
into the table. I took a deep breath. "Yeah, you're a real big fucking
man. Beating your wife bloody whenever the mood struck you and
shooting her up with garbage so you could keep her under your thumb."
Benton shook his head and scratched his chin. "You got a s hit memory,
boy. There was no getting between Maggie and her junk. Whenever I
tried she'd come at me, claws swinging. See this old gash on the side of
my face? That was a reward for trying to cut Maggie off."
"You brutal, lying fuck. That's your story? That you were forced to love
her half to death with your fists?" I chuckled without humor. "Must be
why you had to batter her unconscious when she was seven months
pregnant, almost killing us all."
A weird look crossed his face. If I didn't know him better I'd s ay it was
guilt. But no guilt lived in there. Guilt required a s oul.
"And what about us?" I asked ominously.
His mouth twitched. "What the fuck, Cord? What the
hell do you want from me?"
"Nothing. I just want you to know that you're worse

than dead to the only blood you've got left walking this earth. So you sit
here in your filth and you choke on that for a while and then let it sink
in that there aren't any more resources coming your way. And yeah, I'm
talking about what you've managed to claw out of Deck's palm. You
see, I've got a pretty good idea what you've been threatening him with
and it's done. You 're done! It's over."
He s tared at me. He betrayed no hint that anything I'd just said had
made the slightest dent. Keeping a wary eye on him, I stood up and
started backing toward the door. This would be the last time I would
ever see this place. This would be the last time I'd ever utter a word
directly to him. I turned around and had my hand on the doorknob
when he let out a raspy laugh.
"How's your wife, Cord?"
No. I wasn't taking the bait. I opened the door.
"And your girls? How old are they now?"
The threat was clear. I paused, watching my hand close the door
without having stepped outside.
"Maybe they'd like to find out they have a grandpa other than that waste
of skin McCann."
Slowly I turned around. Benton Gentry sat there grinning

in all his bloated triumph. He rocked the chair back on its hind legs,
clearly enjoying the sick expression I could feel crawling across my
face. No, he wasn't going to let us shake him loose that easily. He was a
regenerating tumor that choked off life and breath. He was evil.
I found myself staring at the bottle on the table, imagining the glass
broken and jagged, sharp enough to gouge an important piece of flesh
that guarded a man's lifeblood.
"What are you thinking, Cordero?"
I didn't move. I didn't breathe. I stared through the bottle glass. Objects
on the other side appeared wavy, distorted.
"I know what you're thinking," Benton whispered. He wagged a finger
and then allowed his right hand to rest on his hip. "You figure you can
take me down. You might be right. But son, there's something you
haven't figured on and it's hidden under my shirt here. You move
sideways and I'll put a bullet between your eyes. Self defense. Fact is
you're fucking lucky I haven't done it yet."
The evil giant laughs and gives the knight a rotten green-toothed grin.
He is completely confident that he will easily destroy the knight, as he
has destroyed everyone else

who has ever stood up to him. It's what evil giants like him do. He ruins
all that is good. And once the knight is gone there will be no one to stop
him from invading the peaceful kingdom and attacking everyone and
everything in his way.
"I hate you." My voice didn't sound like my own. The words were
primitive, delivered in a growl.
But the whole time the knight is thinking, 'I must win. No matter what, I
must win.'
Only now did I fully realize my mistake. The sight of the gun took the
air out of me. If I rushed him he'd shoot. If I turned and ran out the door
he'd probably fire anyway. Shooting a man in the back wasn't the
outcome of self-defense but maybe Benton just didn't care. He was
drunk and he was crazy and he was so filled with wicked bile that the
law was nothing but a distant nuisance.
And either way I'd be dead. Saylor widowed, my girls orphaned.
Benton Gentry's final word on the matter. Except it wouldn't be. If this
was the end of me, then this was going to be the end of him too.
The knight has his sword raised, prepared to die fighting if that's what
it takes to defeat the evil giant, when

suddenly....
I had my back to the door but the sudden stream of light into the room
and the squeal of brakes that stopped not ten feet away threw Benton
off balance. The gun went slack in his hand and confusion took over as
he squinted into the glare. I saw my chance and took it, my right foot
kicking out with enough force to upset the table and send it crashing at
an angle right into his chest. A bolt of pain shot through my s hin but I
ignored it and leapt over the table to grab the gun that had clattered to
the floor as Benton scrambled around like a crippled rat.
The knight's two brothers, great knights themselves, come rushing in
just in time! They stand beside their brother, offering up their swords
together.
"CORD!" my brothers cried and there they were, standing in the
doorway in wide-eyed shock as my hand steadily pointed the gun
where it needed to go.
I couldn't drop it. I wouldn't drop it.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CREED
Chase drove as fast as he dared while I gritted my teeth and grabbed the
door handle. Not out of fear over the way the truck careened through
the night but because if I didn't have s omething solid to hold onto I
might bust right out of my s kin.
We hadn't said a word since we closed ourselves in Carson's tow truck
and burned rubber getting out of the parking lot. There was no way to
be sure where Cord had gone until we got there but somehow I knew
we were headed to the right place. Carson had briefed Chase on his
tense conversation with Cord but even before that I had the nagging
sense that something wasn't right with my usually level-headed brother
Of course today had been a tough one for us but it seemed Chase and I
were alone in our relief over Maggie's death. It was over. Tragic and
awful anyway, yet s till closure.
But somehow I couldn't get a read on Cord and I'd always been able to
read Cord like a large print book. I could tell when he was hurt, when
he was angry. Years ago I

caught on right away when he fell hard for a hometown girl who should
have hated him forever. I could tell when he was calm and when he was
at ease. And I could tell when fury s immered in his heart, threatening
to erupt.
"Hurry," I urged Chase, breaking the silence. He threw me a look that
said he understood and didn't need any prompting.
I loosened my grip on the door handle. What did I expect to find when
we got there? I shut my mind off to the possibilities as soon as they
started invading. Benton Gentry was not only vicious but he was
manipulative as fuck. If he started taunting Cord with thinly veiled
threats to his family then there were no guarantees that Cord's common
sense would win out in a battle between logic and protective instinct.
There weren't any streetlights this far from the center of town and
Chase nearly missed the sharp turn down the narrow road that led to our
childhood home. If I hadn't been so focused on getting to Cord I would
have been a lot more keyed up about being in this neck of the woods.
"We'll find him," Chase said, then he swallowed hard.
"Right?"

I nodded. "We have to."
"And we'll fight if it comes down to it."
"Of course." I looked down at my bare hands. "Unless s omething's
changed though Benton has a few guns to choose from if he feels
backed into a corner. We don't have anything."
One of the truck's front tires bounced in and then out of a small ditch.
The vehicle swayed and Chase cut the wheel, s lowing down and
righting it.
"Yes we do," he answered with cryptic confidence.
As if in response to the tumult of the night the wind suddenly kicked
up, raking the desert floor, sending gritty clouds of sand into the air.
Lighting flashed in the distance but there was no rain, not yet, nothing
so cleansing. Just dust and wind.
A single pinpoint of light showed in the distance and I knew what it
was even before Chase turned on the high beams. Benton had always
kept at least a single bulb burning over the door because he liked to
wander in the dark and his eyesight was shit. I tensed as I looked
around and then calmed down slightly when I saw my truck parked
about twenty yards off from the front door.

"He's here," I told Chase but I didn't need to. Chase had seen. And he
apparently wasn't going to stop. He kept gunning toward the house and
we were close enough now for me to see the derelict mess that I've been
trying to push out of my head for years. Memories don't work like that
though. You can refuse to wave to them whenever they popped up but
they were still crouched around the corner, waiting.
"Chase," I shouted and grabbed onto the dashboard just as he slammed
on the brakes. Papers, old soda cups and a pornographic dashboard
ornament all came flying out of their hidden corners but I had the door
thrown open and my feet on the ground before the debris had finished
settling. Chase was almost as quick.
I could see Cord standing in the doorway, on the other side of a half
ruined screen. The glare of the lights and noise of the truck must have
startled him but he didn't turn around for some reason. Instead time
achieved a slow motion quality as I took a step.
There was Cord's back, there was Benton's face. There was a gun.
Step.

Cord lurched, kicked a leg out and threw a table over. Step.
My body was moving as fast as it could while my brain screamed that it
wasn't fast enough. Chase was beside me. We reached the door
together, we flung it open together, we spilled into the room together,
and we shouted our brother's name together.
"CORD!"
Benton was sprawled on the floor, scrabbling around with his hairy
potbelly hanging out and clumps of greasy hair falling in his face as he
grunted his way to a sitting position. When he got there he stared at the
scene before him and blinked.
Three sons. Three sons who had been abused, neglected boys and were
now strong men, each one far stronger than him.
But it was not our faces that caught his bloodshot eye. It the gun that
was leveled at his head.
Cord was so intently focused on the weapon in his hand and the target
not ten feet away I wasn't sure he even realized we were there. One jerk
of that trigger and he'd s end Benton Gentry into oblivion even as he
sentenced

himself to a different kind of hell.
Chase tried first. "Cord," he said firmly, edging closer with caution. He
extended his open palm "Give it to me."
Cord didn't waver "No."
I shot Benton a fierce glare that warned he'd better not move or even
breathe if he didn't want a head full of holes.
"Cordero," I said, not daring to come any closer lest something set him
off. "Think of Saylor. Think of your daughters."
"Boys," whined Benton as he held up two shaking hands, "I just-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Chase screamed.
In two strides he was looming over Benton, who looked wretched and
pathetic cowering there on the dirty floor. "Just shut up."
I felt around behind me until my fingers found the rusted door handle. I
opened it slowly and backed up until my heels were on the threshold.
Whatever words I uttered right now would be some of the most
important ones I would ever say.
"Cord."
He didn't look at me. I was going to make him look at me,

goddammit. "Cordero!"
He looked. The pain in his eyes seared me.
"You've pulled us back from the edge," I told him. "You've pulled us
both back." I shook my head slowly from side to side. "Don't go there
now. Please. But know that if you do we're climbing in after you."
"Every time," said Chase and our eyes met. He remembered. This was
not the first time we'd played this scene. "Every time," he whispered
again.
Cord lowered the gun. His hand went limp at his side and he let the
piece of deadly metal fall to the floor where it thudded once and then
was still. Chase instantly swooped in to pick it up. He removed the clip,
tossed it down the hall and pushed the gun into his back pocket.
I let out the breath I'd been holding. Cord accepted the help when Chase
wrapped an arm around him and started leading him gently toward the
door. He must have bruised himself badly when he unleashed that
powerful kick to the table because he limped noticeably. I moved aside
and helped them out of the room.
Only when they were safely beyond reach did I turn back

to face Benton Gentry. He hadn't moved an inch and was fixed in such
a wide-eyed slack stare I thought for a second he might have had a
stroke or some shit. But then he lowered his hands and blinked, because
apparently the universe doesn't give out such dumb luck easily.
"You're not dead," I told him, "Not yet." It occurred to me that I could
easily stomp a boot on that soft gut or press my knee into his windpipe.
He wouldn't be able to stop me from squeezing the life out of him. Back
in my hard drinking era this was my darkest wish, to have Benton
cornered and helpless as he'd kept us cornered and helpless for so long.
And if I'd been standing in this very spot on any one of a thousand other
moments I wouldn't have hesitated to fucking crush him.
But this was now.
And I wasn't sunk in some alcohol haze fighting imaginary wars.
I knew who I was. And I knew what I was going to do.
"You're not dead," I repeated, "but you're dead to us. And you know,
someday your eyes will close one last time and no one alive will be
sorry to hear it. I hope you'll think of this moment when that day
comes."

His lip curled and his face reddened and he struggled to rise but I was
done. I stepped out into the night, letting the door bang shut. I heard his
shouts, furious and incoherent, but they were easily swallowed by the
wind.
Chas e had already helped Cord into the tow truck and started the
engine. Cord tossed me the keys to my own truck and I didn't waste any
time following them out of there, except I chose to back out all the way
to the road. I kept a wary eye on the empty doorway because
somewhere in there Benton still breathed and it's never wise to turn
your back on any beast with claws and teeth, no matter how disarmed
they seemed.
Finally I was able to breathe easy when I shifted the car into drive and
started driving straight, following the taillights of the tow truck. The
thunderstorm had veered off to the east without touching down after all
and the winds were dying. Quick bursts of lightning still flashed in the
sky but they were further away.
Once we were out of the neighborhood Chase signaled that he was
pulling over and I stopped right behind him on the shoulder of the road.
When I reached the tow truck Cord was positioned in the

passenger seat kind of awkwardly. He was right in the middle of
picking up his leg and trying to roll his ankle around. He winced.
"Broken?" I asked, leaning into the open window.
He reached down and pressed. "Don't think so." He breathed heavily
and settled back down. "How did you know?"
Chase scoffed. "You're asking how we knew where you went? My
brother, we bounced around in amniotic fluid together for a little while
and spent our formative years curled up together like cats. We know
every damn thing worth knowing about each other, including a few
things we probably wish we didn't." Chase gave Cord a shrewd look.
"We know you, Cord. We know when you're hurting and when you're
happy and if something bad is boiling inside of you it doesn't take us
long to figure out who lit the fire. And you know the same about us.
Because that's what it means to be us."
Cord seemed to chew on that quietly. He laced his fingers together and
massaged his left ring finger.
"Would you have done it?" I asked. I'd looked in the other direction and
spoken so softly I wasn't sure anyone

could have heard me.
But the sound of the wind had ceased and the radio was silent so they
heard. A car suddenly sped past on the two lane road and then raced off
into the night. It made me think about recklessness and the fragility of a
good life.
"No," Cord finally answered. "No, I wouldn't have pulled the trigger. It
crossed my mind. In spite of all the distance we've traveled I still have
days where there's nothing I'd like better than to see his blood in a
puddle." He swallowed and relaxed his hands. "But there's no way I
would risk my family for revenge. I wouldn't have killed him I just
wanted him to know that his claim to us had ended."
I was relieved to hear it. When I straightened up I could see the subdued
lights of downtown Emblem, and beyond it the more garish lights of
the prison, surrounded by barbed wire.
Chas e opened his window and pitched the empty gun deep into the
unseen brush on the side of the road. I imagined some roaming
rattlesnake finding our discarded trash, curling its long body around the
metal and dragging the thing deep into the bleak desolation it inhabited.
"Boys," Chase leaned over. "We should get out of

here."
I nodded and started back to my truck. "Meet you at the med center."
Once I was back on the road the buzz of the phone in my back pocket
made me jump. Even though I had a thing about using phones behind
the wheel it was a good time to make one exception. Truly was worried.
I imagined her sitting at home with her black hair running riot over her
shoulders as our son slept in her arms. I hated texting and anyway I
wanted to hear her voice so I dialed, unsurprised when she picked up on
the first ring.
"Are you coming home soon?" she asked, her voice high and hopeful.
"We miss you."
"Yeah, honey," I smiled. "I'm coming home real soon."
Nothing in this world could keep me from it.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHASE
Of course we wanted to drive out of Emblem real bad by this point but
we still had to figure out what to do with the boy. As we coasted back
into town with Creed right on our tail I briefed Cord on Tracy Gentry's
declaration that she was quitting motherhood.
"Shit," Cord cursed, running a hand through his hair like he did when
he was especially agitated. "Con just saw his girl killed and his brother
hauled off to prison. Now his mother's giving him the boot."
"We can try to figure that out later. But for now he needs a place to stay
and he needs someone to watch out for him."
Cord nodded. "We've got that extra bedroom so that'll work for at least
a few day s. I'll have to check with Say but I'm sure she wouldn't have a
problem with it." He paused. "He's going to need a lot of hand holding
for a while."
"I'm willing," I said quickly. "It would be no problem to bring him
along to the day camp. Maybe being around some

other kids who've also been knocked around by life will make him feel
a little less lonely."
As I said it I thought about Conway's tears, about the anguish in his
voice as he sobbed on my shoulder. I thought about how in a few
minutes here we were going to have to break the news that he wasn't
welcome in own home anymore.
Fuck.
I punched the steering wheel and Cord looked at me with alarm.
"Fleeting burst of fury," I explained, shaking my hand out. I hadn't
really hit the steering wheel that hard. "It's okay now."
But inside I was seething. Kids should be given a chance. Kids like
Conway and dozens of others I'd met through the center and assistant
teaching, some of whom have been homeless, abused, neglected. They
shouldn't be discarded, forgotten, written off as if their destinies were
already decided.
"What about Stone?" Cord asked.
Stone was of course out of our reach for now Even though he'd fucked
up in more ways than one he was

undoubtedly feeling every ounce of that torment today. There was
nothing to be gained by cursing him further. And anyway life had
taught me that things weren't always what they seemed to be. Maybe
someday he'd be willing to tell his story. Maybe it wasn't as awful as it
seemed. Or maybe it was.
"I guess there's nothing we can do except wait to see what he's being
charged with."
Cord stretched. "You think the gossip's true? That those two are really
Uncle Chrome's kids?"
I'd heard all the rumors. That despite being married to our father's
cousin, Tracy was a trashy party type who jumped from one Gentry bed
to another. Con and Stone might be Chrome's kids. Hell, they might
even be Benton's kids. It was all rather mixed up and sordid.
"Who knows," I shrugged.
"Guess it doesn't matter."
"No, it doesn't. They 're family either way."
I pulled into the parking lot of the Emblem Medical Center and glanced
at my watch, shocked to find that it wasn't even past nine o'clock. The
day had seemed endless and before I saw the hour I was absolutely sure
it must have ended by

now.
Creed swung into the spot right beside me while Cord took a minute to
neaten up the interior of the tow truck, which had been ruffled around a
bit when I'd slammed on the brakes outside Benton's front door. Carson
was obviously used to messily cramming things in wherever they could
fit so finally Cord just collected everything and s hoved it in the glove
box.
When the three of us walked into the lobby we found Conway sitting on
a chair with his bandaged hand in his lap and his head lowered. Benji
Carson was sitting beside him with a desperate look and I figured he'd
probably been having rather an awkward time trying to comfort a
seventeen-year-old kid who'd just lost his whole world. They both
looked up with relief when they saw us.
I handed Carson his keys and he patted Con clumsily on the s houlder
before taking his leave.
"Let me know," he said, "if there's anything I can do." He looked
genuinely forlorn, casting one more regretful glance in Con's direction
and then hopping back into his tow truck.
Creed sat down in a nearby chair, looked at Con, opened his mouth to
say something, then closed it and looked at

me. I understood. He figured I'd be better at this than he would.
"Hey, Con," I said gently, sliding into the seat Carson had vacated a
moment ago. "Sorry we had to take off for a little while."
He nodded absently. "Mr. Carson told me you'd be back. Have you
heard from my mom?" He sniffed and flexed the fingers of his broken
hand. "I lost my phone somewhere. The nurse tried calling her but kept
getting voicemail."
Cord had limped over to take the chair beside Creed. The two of them
looked grim and sad.
"Your mom was here," I told Conway. I saw his eyebrows rise and the
light of hope in his face that I hated to crush but had to. Don't we
always want our mothers when things are at their most awful? Even if
they've never been true mothers and even if they don't really want us.
But even before I said the words he knew what they were. As he stared
at my face the hope fell out of his.
"So she meant it," he said. "She meant it when she told us she was
done."
"Hopefully she'll change her mind," I told him although at this point
even I had to admit it was probably better if she

didn't.
"I have nothing," Conway said but it wasn't a self-pitying kind of
sniffle. He was staring at his knees and spoke with the air of grave
realization.
Creed stood up. "Come on," he said gruffly, and then walked over to
Conway, holding out a hand. "Let's go home."
Con blinked. "I don't-"
"You're coming with us," Creed said and started pulling him out of the
chair "And you're staying there. School, life, all that shit we'll all figure
it out together." He had about a five-inch height advantage over
Conway and at least forty pounds of muscle. When he managed to drag
Con to his feet, Creed placed a steadying hand on the boy's shoulder
and looked down on him with a fatherly expression.
"Okay?"
The kid stared up into Creed's face and slowly nodded.
"Yeah."
We were probably a rather sorry-looking squad heading outside,
between Cord's limp, Conway's cast and our collective exhaustion. But
I felt cheered as I climbed into the cab of Creed's truck beside Conway.
The day had been

awful but it was done now. We were getting the hell out of here. We
were going home.
Creed had enough compassion to avoid Main Street without me having
to remind him. A fatal car wreck like that probably wouldn't be
completely cleared and swept away until tomorrow Conway wasn't
looking out the window anyway. He was slumped into the leather seat,
staring at the floor mats. I gave his arm a quick squeeze and listened to
Cord quietly talking on the phone to Saylor as he explained they would
be hosting a young guest for a little while. Conway appeared to be
listening as well and it seemed he relaxed a little when he realized
Cord's wife wasn't going to have a problem with bringing home a
teenage boy the way some people brought home a stray puppy.
"Thank you," he said when Cord ended the call. His voice shook. "I
haven't been real good at saying so yet but I'm really glad you guys are
around."
"You're one of us," Creed told him from the driver's seat. "And we'll be
around as long as you need us and even long after that."
I found myself getting a little choked up over Big C's words because
he'd never been good with them but damn if

he couldn't come up with just the right thing to say when it was needed.
We were passing the sprawling shape of the prison with its floodlights
and its wires and its thousands of unseen lives existing somewhere
within. The largest prison facility in the state, it was likely where Stone
would end up unless some magic spell intervened. No point in bringing
that up right now though.
Creed made a left turn and just like that we were out of the Emblem
town limits. I didn't look back as it faded at our backs.
"Creed," I called.
"Yeah, junior?"
"Why don't you switch on the radio to keep us awake?"
He pushed the button immediately. Creedence was partial to oldies and
country so I figured one or the other would come blaring out. I
recognized the opening notes of The Weight by The Band. I didn't
know the words by heart but it seemed to strike just the right mood and
I closed my eyes, enjoying the sound. My brothers had always accused
me of being able to sleep through a bomb blitz and I hoped I never had
a reason to test that theory out. In any case, once I

closed my eyes I couldn't tell you what happened next until Creed's
irritable voice broke through.
"Quit snoring and get out of my truck."
I rubbed my eyes and yawned, registering the fact that it was just me
and him and we were parked in front of my apartment.
"Dropped them off already," he explained. "Saylor even came over to
the truck to say hello but there was no shaking you out of your nap."
I yawned again and stretched, feeling like I could easily sleep for
another ten hours.
"Go on now," Creed complained. "My family's waiting on me."
I looked toward my apartment and noticed the light from the living
room was visible around the blinds. "Mine too," I told him.
He waited while I climbed out and walked around to the driver's side.
He had the window rolled down and one thick elbow hanging out as he
waited impatiently for whatever I had to s ay.
"I love you, man," I choked out.
He s ucked his lower lip in and turned to the front, but not

before I saw that Creed Gentry, who was usually as likely to shed a tear
as he was to kiss a coyote, was all misty eyed.
I grinned. "Talk to you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," he said and shifted the truck into reverse. "Love you too,
junior."
I opened the door slowly, not wanting to startle Stephanie. She was
curled up on the couch, dressed in her customary long t-shirt, half
covered by a throw blanket as her eyelids fluttered in her sleep.
Quietly locking the door behind me, I dropped to my knees and pushed
the long curls out of her face.
"Hey, princess," I whispered when she opened her eyes.
"Chase." She smiled and even though the day had been hideous the
world was glorious again.
"You okay?" she asked, rising up on one elbow.
So I told her. I told her about the morgue and Maggie, about the horrific
accident that had changed and even ended lives. I told her about Benton
and watched her eyes grow wide with fear and then relax with relief
when I reached the end of the story.
When I was finished talking I rested my hand on her belly and she
flattened out on her back so I could cover her with

my palm.
"I missed you," she said and the sound was so sweet I almost caught a
case of Creed's tears.
"I missed you too, sweetheart."
She squirmed underneath my hand and my fingers automatically
slipped into her panties. I stroked her, so gently, saying nothing as I
watched her get worked up. When she was there I slid her panties down
her thighs, rolled her shirt up over her head and brought her to the
bedroom so I could admire her more comfortably.
I laid her down on the bed, shed my clothes and put my mouth
everywhere before I finally wrapped her legs around my waist and took
her where we both needed to go.
"Tomorrow," I told her as we relaxed and stroked each other, "I'm
buying you a ring."
She kissed my chest. "I don't need a special ring. We'll just get gold
bands or something for the wedding."
"No." I kissed her hand. I was getting my way on this. "I'm putting a
gaudy piece of jewelry on your finger and I'm never letting you take it
off."
She didn't protest. She bit her lip and smiled. "Fine. I know better than
to argue with the most stubborn of the

Gentrys."
"I'm not stubborn. Just insistent."
"Whatever you are, I plan on holding onto it."
I gathered her into my arms. "Good. Because I'm going to hold you
forever."

EPILOGUE
CORD
"Daddy!" The little girl barreled into my legs and clung to me, s obbing
with abandon. "I lost my flowers," she wailed.
I lifted her into my arms and settled her against my hip. Tears clung to
her long eyelashes and the blonde ringlets that Saylor had labored so
hard to create were in tousled disarray. I kissed my daughter's cheek
and patted her back.
"Shh, we'll find them, Cassie. We'll find your flowers."
Deck stood there flashing his full devilish grin, plainly enjoying the
sight of me humbled by the loss of a flower girl bouquet. But I had my
priorities and right now finding a limp batch of daisies was at the top. I
carried Cassie around the room, trying to jog her memory of the last
place she'd seen the flowers she'd been clutching for the last three
hours.
I scanned the room, noting that the bride and groom still hadn't stopped
kissing. They'd been doing that since we left the courthouse. Their lips
were going to be chapped if

they didn't find something else to do soon. Stephanie was radiant in a
beautiful white dress that had been lovingly s ewn by Truly and tailored
to fit Steph's growing belly.
Chas e retracted his mouth long enough to gaze into his bride's eyes as
he rested a hand on her stomach. They s hared a private smile.
"You must have felt that one," Stephanie laughed. "That was a
powerful kick."
My other daughter elbowed her way into the middle of their embrace
and held her hands up. "Can I feel? I want to
feel!"
Stephanie gently pressed Cami's ear against her belly and my little girl
listened intently with a serious expression. Right behind them Creed
was holding little Jacob up and making goofy faces while the baby
laughed and drooled on his face.
Priceless.
Truly stood nearby, snapping pictures with her phone.
"That better not show up on Facebook," Creed growled at his wife as he
switched the baby to his right arm. He'd been utterly transformed into a
goo-gooing baby worshipper since Jacob came into his life but
sometimes hints of his old

cranky nature poked through.
Truly knew better though. She simply laughed at him and batted her
southern belle eyelashes. "I already posted it, sugar so you just hush
and keep being as cute as can be."
He rolled his eyes and then tickled his son under his chubby chin.
I cleared my throat and waved to get everyone's attention.
"Has anyone noticed a mislaid bouquet?" I asked the room.
The reception was small and being held in a party room at a local sports
restaurant called Dutch. Giant screens depicting various live sporting
events were everywhere. It might be considered a puzzling and perhaps
unromantic spot for a wedding reception but Chase and Stephanie were
huge sports fans and tended to be disinterested in what was typical.
"Shh," Cami scolded loudly, her face still pressed to Stephanie's
stomach. "I can hear him."
Saylor had been talking to Jenny over by the door and now she floated
over, looking ethereal and sexy in a royal blue bridesmaid gown. My
eyes couldn't help but sweep

reflexively over her body.
"Cassie, baby," she said breathlessly, passing over the lost bouquet, "I
found your flowers."
Cassie grabbed at the flowers and then started pushing her way out of
my arms so she could go hug her mother, the hero. I didn't mind. She
was my hero too.
Cami tenderly patted Stephanie's belly and agreed to allow Cassie to
listen too. The two of them had been endlessly curious about the new
cousin they'd be getting this winter. Saylor and I hadn't yet told them
that there was an even bigger surprise on the horizon.
I held my arm out to my wife and she joined me with a smile. Her smile
faded when her gaze landed on Conway, who sat at a table by himself,
rolling a fork between his fingers. In the four months since that night
we drove him out of Emblem he hadn't returned there at all as far as we
knew, not even for Erin's funeral. Over the summer Jenny and Deck
bought a house in an orderly suburban neighborhood and Con lived
with them now as he finished his last year of high school. Something
had been lost to him since that awful night last summer and he had yet
to find it again. Call it youthful confidence or arrogant optimism or

whatever. The jaunty kid who cracked jokes and ran riot all over town
with his brother was gone. He'd cut his hair short, stayed out all hours,
screwed whatever girls flung themselves at him and ignored his own
future. Deck had confided in me that he didn't know how the hell he
was going to force the kid to finish out high school but he was damn
well making a project out of it.
As for Stone, he'd pled guilty to one of the lesser manslaughter charges
in the death of Erin Rielo and was incarcerated at the state prison in
Emblem. At least Deck had enough contacts on the inside to make sure
he'd be left alone in the prison yard, but that didn't change the fact that
he wouldn't be eligible for parole for at least four years. I knew Chase
wrote him letters regularly. From what I'd heard, Stone had yet to write
back.
Cami and Cassie were holding hands and tearing around the room like
little hurricanes. I thought about stopping them but everyone was
getting such a kick out of their exuberance that I just let them be. Even
Stephanie's brooding wraith of a brother cracked a small smile at their
antics when he managed to look up from the busty blonde who was
crawling all over him. Michael Bransky was a

puzzle and honestly I was glad he didn't come around often because he
didn't seem like the kind of guy you'd want to get too close to. He
reminded me of a muscular Don Corleone, quietly charismatic in a
dangerous kind of way. Chase said he only dropped into his sister's life
once a year or so and that was just fine with Chase, even though
Stephanie was always happy to see him.
Aside from family the other guests were a mix of friends and
coworkers. I noticed Aspen and Brick were cozied up in a corner,
sucking face and laughing at their own private jokes. Aspen was a
whimsical fairy with her blue hair hanging out of a giant orange bow
and Brick, uncomfortably buttoned up in a gray suit, resembled a bible
salesman. At first glance they looked as mismatched as plaid with
paisley. But that didn't mean anything.
Speaking of unlikely couples, I'd never quite gotten used to the sight of
my bad boy biker cousin with a wholesome girl like Jenny Smith. She
was sitting in his lap now, elegantly dressed in a modest black gown
that was at odds with his perpetual leather. She fed him a forkful of
cake, which he devoured before he started devouring her neck. Jenny
blushed and shoved him away with a giggle.

She was good for him. They were planning on being married this Chris
tmas.
Deck caught me looking and raised an eyebrow. I smiled to let him
know all was well. I hadn't returned to Emblem either When more news
came out of there Deck had been the one to deliver it.
About six weeks ago Benton Gentry had wandered out of his house,
shit-faced and dressed only in his underwear. No one knew what time
of day it was when he left because no one was around. When he hadn't
put in an appearance at one of his favorite local dives in over a week the
owner took a ride out to his place to see what was up. There was no
answer at the door but a flock of buzzards nearby gave out a crucial
hint. Gaps told Deck that Benton had likely been so wasted he'd gotten
confused and wandered around in circles on his own property until he
finally collapsed beneath the broiling sun, not a hundred yards from his
own front door. By the time he was found, buzzards had already pecked
out his eyes and his tongue and were starting to work on the rest of him.
There was no funeral. Nobody would have come if there was.
I would never mourn my father but I did wonder what he

thought of at the very end. I wondered if he was afraid. I wondered if he
was sorry at all.
Cami and Cassie were still tearing the place up. They spun past
Conway in a cloud of flowers and pink dresses. He stopped rolling his
fork and stared after them with a hint of a smile.
Saylor rested her cheek on my shoulder.
"You ready to start this all over again?" she asked as we watched our
daughters.
I held her closer. "At least we already found out there's just one in there
this time."
She let out a happy sigh and kissed me quickly. It wasn't enough, not
for me.
I turned, tenderly cupped her surprised face in my hands and kissed her
deeply, passionately, not giving a shit who was watching. Saylor
McCann Gentry had taught me about love and so she'd taught me
everything. When I thought about it I realized that she'd taught us all.
She was the spark in the chain reaction that had created everything
here.
The clink of glass caught my attention. Deck had stopped cuddling
with Jenny and was standing atop a chair, tapping a champagne glass
with a spoon. When he realized

he'd s ucceeding in getting everyone to look his way he hopped down
and in two long strides reached the middle of the room. Saylor
beckoned to the girls and they came running over to us.
Deck winked at Chase and Stephanie. Chase blew him a kis s.
"I don't know why," Deck proclaimed with his empty glass in the air,
"but for some reason this beautiful girl agreed to marry my
lump-headed cousin and join this motley Gentry crew."
Chas e s tood behind Stephanie with his arms wrapped around her
while she laughed. Deck grew serious as he lowered his glass and
gazed at the happy couple.
"I don't have a talent for pretty words," he said, "but here in this room
I'm seeing love everywhere I look and by my count that makes it the
richest place on earth. So in the spirit of the day, in honor of Stephanie
and Chase, and for the messy, beautiful pieces the human heart
manages to glue together, love each other. Hold each other. For now
and for always."
People hugged. People kissed. It's what people did because there was
nothing in this life we needed more than

one another.
When I pulled back from Saylor I looked down to see Cassie offering
me one of her precious flowers. I accepted it with gratitude and
carefully placed it in my front pocket before I swung her into my arms
while Cami demanded to be picked up by Saylor. Nearby, Chase and
Stephanie were lip-locked once more. Beside me Creed bounced Jacob
in his arms while Truly laughed and snapped more pictures. Deck had
Jenny wrapped tightly in his arms as he ever so gently kissed her
forehead.
Saylor nudged my arm, probably because she could see that I was
suffering from a little bit of water in my eyes. In some ways all of this
celebrating seemed like a signal of the end, a dream come true, the
storybook finale.
"You sad, Daddy?" Camille Gentry asked me as she touched my cheek
with her dimpled fingers.
"No, honey," I said honestly. "I'm not sad. How could I be sad when
I've got tomorrow to look forward to?"
She wrapped her arms around my neck and let out a sleepy sigh while
her sister yawned in Saylor's arms. I flashed back to the first time I'd
ever held them. It seemed like so long ago and yet it seemed like
yesterday. Someday

they'd be too big to willingly be carried in my arms and I'd have to
welcome the next phase of life as a father. And yet before that
happened there would be another tiny child to hold, another new life to
celebrate. The years ahead promised uncounted firsts, some poignant
lasts, and thousands of golden days in between.
So of course I wasn't sad.
Because this wasn't the end.
The best stories never did end, not really.

Thank you for reading HOLD! I hope you've enjoyed your
time with the boys as much as I have enjoyed returning to
their world.
So are you wondering what's next?
Blurbs and covers for the next Gentry books to be revealed very soon.
In the meantime, be sure to add them to your Goodreads TBR.

CROSS (Gentry Boys#6)

EDGE (Gentry Boys #7)

As always, I love hearing from readers....

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