27. Discuss the theory of politeness.
The politeness theory states that we maintain two kinds of face (self-image):
Positive face, when others like, respect and approve of us.
Negative face, when we feel that others cannot constrain us in any way.
Both of these may be threatened when someone makes a request of us.
This causes a dilemma, as if I ask in a pleasant way, positive face is satisfied but negative face may lead them to think they can take advantage of us. The reverse is also true, as defensive talk will threaten the positive face.
Conformance to the social rules of politeness is treading a central and safe path which neither threatens nor signals that you may be threatened.
Some phrases are a threat to Hearer's/Speaker's face →
Damage to the Hearer: (the Speaker somehow threatens the Hearer or his belongings, showing no care about feelings etc)
orders, requests, suggestions, advice, remindings, threats, or warnings.
compliments, expressions of envy or admiration, or expressions of strong negative emotion toward the hearer (e.g. hatred, anger, lust)
offers, and promises.
expressions of disapproval (e.g. insults, accusations, complaints), contradictions, disagreements, or challenges.
excessively emotional expressions.
disrespect, mention of topics which are inappropriate in general or in the context.
belittling or boasting.
topics that relate to politics, race, religion.
interrupting, non-sequiturs.
misuse of address terms in relation to status, gender, or age.
Damage to the Speaker: (the Speaker admits he is overpowered by the Hearer,)
Expressing thanks
Accepting a thank you or apology
Excuses
Acceptance of offers
A response to the hearer's violation of social etiquette
The speaker commits himself to something he does not want to do
Apologies: In this act, speaker is damaging his own act by admitting that he regrets one of his previous acts.
Acceptance of a compliment
Inability to control one's physical self
Inability to control one's emotional self
Self-humiliation
Confessions
Politeness means acting to help save face for others.→ We should do what we can not to lose our face and not let the others lose theirs.