{572}{632}Reesa from Manhattan,|you're on the air.
{636}{700}{y:i}I date a lot of guys.|I mean, a lot.
{704}{776}{y:i}I've had more blind dates than|a seeing eye dog. You know why?
{780}{858}{y:i}- I'm on tenterhooks, shoot.|- I'm looking for the real thing
{862}{916}{y:i}you're talking about,|but I wanna feel love.
{920}{1006}{y:i}The kind where you're so delirious|you can barely breathe or eat.
{1010}{1098}{y:i}I'm waiting for Prince Charming who|will pick me up, sweep me off my feet,
{1102}{1197}{y:i}- slam me into a wall, and bang my...|- Let me stop you right there, Reesa.
{1201}{1273}First, I don't think love|is supposed to deny you of your food
{1277}{1368}or oxygen supply.|Love is supposed to nourish you.
{1372}{1432}{y:i}Well, I'm just saying|I want the fairy tale.
{1436}{1495}{y:i}I want the excitement, the romance,|you know?
{1499}{1594}Yeah, I do. This Prince Charming|of yours doesn't exist.
{1598}{1645}He's good for a few nights in the sack,
{1649}{1714}but his charm will run thin,|which is what charm does.
{1718}{1808}{y:i}Well, I hear ya, Dr Lloyd, but what|I'm saying is that I want to be deeply
{1812}{1895}{y:i}- and passionately in love.|- You want to be passionately in love.
{1899}{1991}I see. You know who's a bigger flake|than your buddy, Prince Charming?
{1995}{2077}His brother, Prince Passion.|Reesa, if you are truly serious
{2081}{2149}about wanting to find real|and lasting love in this town,
{2153}{2209}I'm gonna have to dish out|tough love to you now.
{2213}{2262}{y:i}- Uh-oh.|- This serial dating of yours
{2266}{2353}is a waste of time. You can't|find something when you don't know
{2357}{2428}what you're looking for.|You're playing the field, right?
{2432}{2554}Hoping that somebody will want you,|when it's you who needs to figure out
{2558}{2634}what it is you want.|Anybody can fall in love,
{2638}{2741}but what you deserve is a man with|the emotional maturity to stay in love.
{2745}{2853}Don't settle for a boyfriend|when you can demand a manfriend.
{2857}{2903}{y:i}I'm not really the demanding type.
{2907}{2951}Don't go there, Reesa.
{2955}{2999}Hear what she's doing, listeners?
{3003}{3095}That is the sound of a woman|who settles for second-best.
{3099}{3186}Why do we do that? I mean,|deep down we know we deserve better,
{3190}{3263}so why do we keep lowering|our standards?
{3267}{3335}{y:i}I devote a chapter|to this in my new book, Real Love,
{3339}{3374}which come to stores on Wednesday.
{3378}{3493}I've finally learned that unless|you demand real love for yourself,
{3497}{3550}you're going to get|seriously hurt out there.
{3554}{3616}{y:i}But how am I supposed to know|if love is real or not?
{3620}{3719}Spell it out for yourselves.|Is he responsible?
{3723}{3819}Is he your equal?
{3823}{3917}Is he an adult?|- Are you freakin' blind?
{3921}{4007}- And most of all, L: Is he loving?|- That's a ridiculous call!
{4011}{4117}{y:i}- Know anybody like that?|- Not really.
{4121}{4212}Hold out for it, Reesa.|You'll be so glad you did.
{4216}{4292}{y:i}Oh, Dr Lloyd, you are such a lifesaver.|Thank you so much.
{4296}{4347}You're welcome.|All right, next caller.
{4351}{4415}- Patrick! Come on!|- Where'd she go?
{4419}{4535}Hopefully, she went to buy you a muzzle.|Keep your mouth quiet next time.
{4539}{4603}- Move it, move it.|- If there is a next time.
{4607}{4691}Showtunes.
{4695}{4768}Showtunes.
{4772}{4822}- More showtunes.|- I like showtunes!
{4826}{4904}- Obviously. It's sad.|- Oh, there's the love doctor.
{4908}{4960}- I hate that lady.|- My lady loves this.
{4964}{5008}- Mine, too.|- Your... your who?
{5012}{5069}I mean my mother.
{5073}{5134}- What is that?|- You're a beast.
{5138}{5239}Next caller.|Sofia of Astoria, you're on the air.
{5243}{5323}- Hi. Hi, am I on?|- Yeah. Yeah, here we are. Let's go.
{5327}{5445}I'm supposed to be getting married this|weekend, and I'm having second thoughts.
{5449}{5541}{y:i}- Second, third, fourth?|- What do you mean?
{5545}{5596}Thinking about calling|this off a while?
{5600}{5702}Well, I took your online compatibility|test, and I scored a 12.
{5706}{5790}OK. That test helps predict|long-term compatibility, caller.
{5794}{5854}{y:i}- You're right to consider this...|- Sofia?
{5858}{5907}{y:i}...very, very carefully.
{5911}{5995}Forty-three per cent|of marriages end in divorce.
{5999}{6076}All right? You don't want that.|How long have you known this guy?
{6080}{6152}About five months, but he's|a really good guy and all, and...
{6156}{6216}But... but... five months?
{6220}{6323}{y:i}Sofia, are you scared of being alone?
{6327}{6406}{y:i}- I guess so, maybe, yeah.|- 'Cause you know what's scarier
{6410}{6474}{y:i}than being alone?|You know what's worse?
{6478}{6588}{y:i}Being alone with the wrong guy|for the rest of your life. You got it?
{6592}{6650}Doesn't sound like|an average case ofjitters.
{6654}{6720}Wait, are you saying|I should call off the wedding?
{6724}{6845}{y:i}I'm running out of time, caller,|but you know, deep inside,
{6849}{6939}{y:i}what you need to do.|Thank you for calling.
{6943}{6982}{y:i}Good luck.
{7247}{7281}Knock-knock.
{7285}{7351}- Mm, who's there?|- This is your publisher speaking.
{7355}{7479}- Mm, we don't want any.|- Read 'em and weep.
{7483}{7579}- Oh, really?|- There's only one way to find out.
{7583}{7649}No, no. I'm too nervous.|You read it.
{7653}{7738}"The doctor is in.
{7742}{7833}{y:i}The first book from local talk radio|sensation Dr Emma Lloyd, Real Love,
{7837}{7926}establishes Lloyd as the latest|khoja of modern romance. "
{7930}{8008}- Latest what? What did they call me?|- Khoja, apparently.
{8012}{8087}I don't know what that means.|I don't know how to spell it.
{8091}{8151}- K-H...|- What kind of word is khoja?
{8155}{8217}...O...|- It's just showing off, really.
{8221}{8289}- OK.|- For a popular magazine
{8293}{8384}to review a self-help book|and pull out a word like "khoja",
{8388}{8494}{y:i}"from the Turkish 'hoca':|A, a title of respect for teacher.
{8498}{8570}- B, a wise man. "|- Or woman.
{8574}{8635}Oh! Or "C, a sub-sect
{8639}{8733}of ancient Ismaili assassins. " Hm.
{8737}{8797}- Lets go with A, for teacher.|- I don't know.
{8801}{8869}The assassin thing,|I wouldn't throw that out.
{8873}{8931}{y:i}- I love New York Magazine.|- Geniuses.
{8935}{9008}- Should I write a thank-you note?|- Send a fruit basket.
{9012}{9073}Mm. I love fruit.
{9077}{9144}Yeah, well, that's|why I'm marrying you, my khoja.
{9148}{9263}We're not done.|We're not done with comments...
{9267}{9312}- Ah.|- OK.
{9316}{9366}OK. Let's see.
{9370}{9459}"Dr Lloyd's analysis of love's|dos and don'ts is both insightful
{9463}{9529}- and trenchant. "|- Trenchant! What does that mean?
{9533}{9606}Is that some kind of fancy word|for "full of shit?" Trenchant?
{9610}{9676}- Direct and incisive.|- Gimme a break, smart-ass...
{9680}{9730}{y:i}What? I saw it on Jeopardy.
{9734}{9816}Why didn't they just say,|"Read the book, ruin your life?"
{9820}{9863}Read the sports page to us, huh?
{9867}{9942}"Physical gifts can offer|such insightful observations
{9946}{10011}into the human heart|is a thing of wonder. "
{10015}{10102}- Whoa. Trouble, one o'clock.|- "She is chicken soup for the heart. "
{10106}{10149}Oh, my ass!
{10153}{10259}- Hey! Hey, Sofia! Sof!|- Uh-oh. Here we go.
{10263}{10347}I'm reading about that lady that helped|you plunge a knife through my heart.
{10351}{10422}- Very trenchant stuff.|- I can't talk right now,
{10426}{10492}- because I gotta be someplace.|- We'll give you a ride.
{10496}{10579}Hey, fellas! Stop the truck!
{10583}{10665}Sof, come on.|You haven't returned any of my calls.
{10669}{10764}- Well, I've been busy.|- Sofia, give the guy a break.
{10768}{10839}Talk to him, Sof.
{10843}{10947}Oh, don't do that, Sof!|Come out here! Sofia!
{10982}{11069}Please come out here|so that we can talk.
{11073}{11154}No, no, no, not you, sir.|You can put your hands down.
{11184}{11257}- Firemen. We don't arrest people.|- We'll hose you down.
{11261}{11387}Sof! I'm not gonna go anywhere|until you come out here.
{11561}{11649}I don't understand. You know,|one minute we're gettin' married,
{11653}{11746}talkin' about names for our kids,|and the next, because some fruitcake...
{11750}{11817}- She's a doctor.|- Of what, Sof?
{11821}{11891}Of what? Talk to me, here.
{11918}{11975}Patrick, it's over.
{11979}{12020}I'm sorry.
{12024}{12067}OK? It's over.
{12145}{12186}I gotta go.
{12319}{12414}All right, show's over, folks! Let's|keep it movin'! What are ya lookin' at?
{12435}{12524}{y:i}I met someone I like, but all|my friends tell me he's wrong for me.
{12528}{12594}{y:i}- What do your friends say?|- We have nothing in common.
{12598}{12623}{y:i}It's just the sex.
{12627}{12721}I'm just running away from many more|appropriate men who pursue me.
{12725}{12775}{y:i}- Because...|- Afraid of the real thing?
{12779}{12804}{y:i}So they say.
{13319}{13406}- There's Patrick!|- Oh, Patrick!
{13407}{13501}- Patrick...|- Quiet! Leave the man alone.
{13505}{13567}Can you not see|that his heart is broken?
{13603}{13704}How can he eat when the woman|that he loved abandoned him forever,
{13708}{13808}virtually without explanation|and may be, at this very moment,
{13812}{13896}cuckolding him with some other man.
{14094}{14221}- Good night, everybody.|- Cuckolding? What's that mean?
{14997}{15060}- Hey.|- I'll be right with you.
{15064}{15146}I'm giving Ann Coulter's|frequent flyer miles to Michael Moore.
{15150}{15216}Ajay, come on, man.|This hacking's getting out of hand.
{15220}{15317}- You can get into serious trouble.|- Too late. Bon voyage, Mr Moore.
{15321}{15375}See the clipping|on love doctor's wedding?
{15379}{15432}Who in their right mind|is gonna marry her?
{15436}{15505}- Whoever we want.|- What do you mean?
{15509}{15558}Check this out.
{15638}{15680}- Who's that?|- That's her.
{15684}{15760}- The love doctor?|- I got it off her birth certificate.
{15764}{15866}- Oh, I don't know about this, Ajay.|- What are you talking about?
{15870}{15961}All you ever do is walk around muttering|about giving her a piece of your mind
{15965}{16024}or letting her have it|or fixing her wagon.
{16028}{16086}OK, for one, I've never said,|"Fix her wagon. "
{16090}{16153}If you've moved on, that's different,
{16157}{16223}and I'm happy you|finally put this behind you.
{16227}{16266}Wait, whoa.
{16318}{16422}Maybe me tellin' her how I feel|and holdin' her accountable would be,
{16426}{16507}you know, important for my growth|or whatever. What do you think?
{16511}{16617}What am I, your yogi? I thought|you just wanted a little payback.
{16735}{16767}- Let's do it.|- Nice.
{16790}{16826}{y:i}Oh, no.
{16830}{16878}Now you're married.
{16882}{16918}I'm married.
{16922}{17012}- I'm what?|- Already married.
{17016}{17075}- According to who?|- "According to whom. "
{17079}{17132}- The state of New York.|- That's impossible.
{17136}{17252}- I have never been married.|- You must have the wrong Emma Lloyd.
{17256}{17356}Emmaline Willing Lloyd?
{17360}{17404}Your real name is Emmaline?
{17408}{17456}A lot of things|you don't know about her.
{17460}{17557}- How do we fix this?|- Annulment forms. Fill them out.
{17561}{17615}Have them notarised. Bring them back.
{17639}{17718}- I can't believe I didn't know.|- Your husband needs to sign them.
{17722}{17764}- Fiancé.|- Husband.
{17768}{17859}- I don't have a husband.|- Then who is Patrick Thomas Sullivan
{17863}{17907}- of Astoria, New York?|- Who is he?
{17911}{17967}- I don't know.|- He's your husband.
{17971}{18040}His address is right there.
{18044}{18079}- Astoria?|- Queens.
{18083}{18137}I know a lawyer|who can sort this out quietly.
{18141}{18225}- I'm sure that won't be necessary.|- It will. I've got a book to launch.
{18229}{18259}Yours, I might add.
{18263}{18325}- You don't think I was married.|- No. It's not that.
{18329}{18389}It's just the timing|of this could not be worse.
{18393}{18457}- I know.|- I'm recalling 70,000 copies
{18461}{18526}of a moving memoir|by a new author that we've trumpeted
{18530}{18618}as the next Maya Angelou who turns out|to have plagiarised... Guess who?
{18622}{18678}...Maya Angelou.|- I forgot about that one.
{18682}{18746}I didn't. The headline|"Love Doctor: A polygamist"
{18750}{18838}- just flashed before my eyes.|- Hold these.
{18842}{18900}On top of everything,|Bollenbecker take-over.
{18904}{18985}They haven't announced which publishers|they'll keep and dump.
{18989}{19056}So one self-help author|who can't seem to help herself
{19060}{19134}from being married,|Abdington Books could be history.
{19138}{19218}I understand completely. Trust me.|I'll take care of it.
{19222}{19341}Everything will be fine...|Oh, no, darling. Naughty choc-y.
{19422}{19522}- You don't need this.|- You're right. Moment of weakness.
{19567}{19662}- Go get 'em.|- Taxi! Bye, sweetie.
{20634}{20684}Hello?
{20718}{20759}Hello?
{20896}{20948}Hello? Excuse me?
{20952}{21014}You're not Patrick Sullivan, are you?
{21018}{21109}- You are? No.|- May I help you?
{21113}{21219}- I hope so. Is this 230133rd Street?|- Yes. It is.
{21223}{21314}I'm looking for someone who lives here|by the unlikely name, Patrick Sullivan.
{21318}{21409}Patrick.
{21488}{21574}Keep going, tall lady! Keep going!
{21819}{21859}Excuse me?
{21863}{21959}Excuse me, sir? Officer?
{21994}{22039}Hello!
{22043}{22113}Hey. Hey, I'm sorry...
{22117}{22228}No, no, no! That's fine. Um, can you|tell me how I can find Patrick Sullivan?
{22445}{22519}- We couldn't get that lady out.|- She weighed 500 pounds!
{22520}{22593}- She knocked you with her skillet.|- Frying pan.
{22597}{22641}- Patrick?|- Yeah. Ah!
{22645}{22702}You won't believe this.|That home-wrecking lady
{22706}{22745}from the radio walked in here.
{22749}{22794}- I believe you.|- Can I help you?
{22798}{22860}- What's she doin'?|- Looking for Patrick Sullivan.
{22864}{22934}- I was told he might be here.|- Right over there.
{22938}{22988}- She looked over.|- What are you havin'?
{22992}{23068}- Um, whatever he's having.|- I'll bring it right over.
{23072}{23123}It's walkin' right this way.
{23127}{23187}- It's takin' its coat off.|- How do you do?
{23191}{23278}Ltjust looked at me again.|It's comin' over here.
{23282}{23355}It's comin' right for me.|What does it want?
{23409}{23480}Patrick Sullivan?|You're not an easy man to find.
{23484}{23575}- I'm Emma Lloyd.|- It thinks I'm you. Help me out.
{23579}{23652}Hey, I, uh... I dropped my chalk.|I'm Patrick Sullivan.
{23656}{23752}- This is my opponent, Larry Berlson.|- Oh! Mr Sullivan. Mr Berlson.
{23756}{23813}How do you do?|I'm here for the oddest reason.
{23817}{23857}- We all are.|- Here you are.
{23861}{23906}- Mine?|- Mind if I interrupt?
{23910}{23958}- Knock yourself out.|- I didn't mean...
{23962}{23991}- Don't play?|- Yes.
{23995}{24051}Then you're stripes.|Down the hatch.
{24055}{24158}- No, no, Mr Sullivan. I'm here to...|- You don't drink? You don't play pool?
{24162}{24272}Perhaps I can get you an herbal tea?
{24314}{24356}Nine in the corner.
{24425}{24475}We need another round.
{24479}{24547}Mr Sullivan. Something|very unfortunate has happened,
{24551}{24624}- and it could make a mess of my life.|- I'm sorry to hear that.
{24628}{24687}- It's certainly not your fault.|- It's your shot.
{24691}{24767}Um, all right.|Well, how can I explain?
{24771}{24860}You see, um, uh,|I'm about to be married.
{24864}{24911}That is too bad!
{24915}{24996}Congratulations on the other thing.|We got a bride in our midst.
{25058}{25112}Thank you. That won't be necessary.
{25116}{25203}It's necessary. I feel a toast|coming on. Wait a second.
{25207}{25259}- I know you.|- Excuse me?
{25263}{25328}{y:i}Yeah, yeah.|Real Love With Dr Emma Lloyd.
{25332}{25428}- You're that lady I hear on the radio.|- Yes, of course. You found me out.
{25432}{25517}- Have you ever been on television?|- Um, no, but I have a book coming out.
{25521}{25598}- I love television.|- My girlfriend never misses your show.
{25602}{25664}Oh, well, has it been|helpful in your relationship?
{25668}{25767}Oh, you have no idea.|It's completely changed our lives!
{25771}{25860}- Oh, really? That is so nice to hear.|- Yeah. Tony! Here you go.
{25864}{25931}- To the bride and ever-changing life!|- To the bride!
{25935}{26001}To the bride!
{26030}{26126}Mr Sullivan, as I was saying,|you see, I'm about to be married.
{26130}{26214}Be careful. Forty-three per cent|of marriages end in divorce.
{26218}{26290}That's right. It's all|about picking the right partner.
{26294}{26368}- So true. It's so true.|- In order to do that, my fiancé,
{26372}{26428}Richard, and I,|need a license from New York...
{26432}{26533}- Richard from dispatch? Asshole.|- So on an otherwise lovely morning,
{26537}{26592}- we go to city hall...|- To Emma and Richie!
{26596}{26671}Richard!
{26675}{26740}- And I don't want any more.|- Hey, you're right.
{26744}{26815}Don't want Richie to see|you hammered before your wedding.
{26819}{26870}Tony! Give me|that herbal tea over here.
{26874}{26944}Herbal tea, coming up!
{26948}{27063}Very funny, Mr Sullivan. Very funny.
{27067}{27127}- I'll have you know I don't get drunk.|- You don't?
{27131}{27207}No. My father taught me a good trick|to hold one's liquor.
{27211}{27276}You simply recite|the presidents' names in order.
{27280}{27344}- Out loud?|- Forwards or backwards?
{27348}{27433}Watch and learn, gentlemen.|To Washington, Adams, Jefferson,
{27437}{27482}Madison and Monroe.
{27513}{27559}- Carter!|- Carter!
{27563}{27641}- Reagan!|- Reagan!
{27645}{27689}- Bush!|- Bush!
{27693}{27760}Do you think maybe we|should pour you into a cab?
{27764}{27825}- Maybe your fiancé's worried.|- Oh! That's right!
{27829}{27889}That is exactly what|I came to talk to you about.
{27893}{27941}- OK.|- Yes, Mr Sullivan,
{27945}{28002}- it seems we're married.|- Come again?
{28006}{28101}We... are married!
{28105}{28168}- I thought you were marrying Richie.|- Exactly!
{28172}{28207}- I'm over here.|- Right!
{28211}{28318}Uh, yes, it seems that we,|I mean we,
{28322}{28402}are victims of a glitch in some|computer, somewhere, somehow,
{28406}{28470}I don't know, has married us.
{28474}{28559}- A glitch?|- Mm-hm. I'll say. A big one.
{28563}{28701}- Oh, boy.|- So, um, if, um, you'd just be...
{28705}{28779}...so kind as|to sign these papers I'd...
{28843}{28897}Ow!
{28963}{29034}Washington, Madison, Adamson...
{29038}{29109}- Are you a fireman?|- Indeed, I am.
{29113}{29175}I always liked you guys.
{29245}{29304}Lights are out now.
{30121}{30185}Sorry about that.
{30714}{30759}Oh! Ouch!
{32250}{32325}Hello? Oh, no!
{32329}{32395}Oh, no! Oh, no!
{32539}{32601}Oh, my God!
{32605}{32668}Oh, my God!
{32672}{32710}Oh!
{32783}{32829}Oh, my God.
{33268}{33295}Oh!
{33485}{33510}Excuse me.
{33690}{33796}- Good morning, Dr Lloyd.|- Good morning. Wait!
{33800}{33851}- Someone had a rough night.|- Oh, yeah.
{33930}{33979}Excuse me.
{34081}{34160}- Oh, my.|- I need the emergency outfit.
{34164}{34203}- What?|- The emergency outfit!
{34207}{34248}Outfit I keep for emergencies.
{34252}{34320}Richard called six and a half times.|Last time he hung up.
{34324}{34393}He was looking desperate.|Worried about Bollenbeckers?
{34397}{34444}- Can you get him for me?|- On the phone?
{34448}{34492}- Why do you do that?|- It's fun.
{34496}{34559}- The outfit?|- Not here.
{34563}{34592}- I had a date.|- Oh!
{34596}{34650}You know we're not remotely|the same size?
{34654}{34734}- Richard. Aspirin. Coffee.|- Oh, and your father's...
{34738}{34830}- Now!|- Please hold. Richard, line one!
{34905}{35004}Richard, sweetheart.|I am so sorry I didn't call.
{35008}{35101}I was in Queens so I thought I'd stay at|my father's and go over wedding stuff.
{35105}{35171}{y:i}- Why didn't you call?|- He brought you in this morning
{35175}{35236}- with your mom's dress.|- He brought me back in
{35240}{35307}- with my mom's wedding dress.|- And your father's here.
{35311}{35361}{y:i}- She knows it.|- What about Sullivan?
{35365}{35398}{y:i}- It's beautiful.|- Emma?
{35402}{35475}- Yes! I found Sullivan.|- Coffee, Wilder?
{35479}{35512}- I'd love some.|- Aspirin?
{35516}{35562}- I've got the papers.|- Welcome.
{35566}{35604}Not on me.
{35608}{35650}- Coffee filters?|- I don't work here.
{35654}{35719}I know they have to be notarised.|Can you get that?
{35723}{35760}- Sure.|- Don't worry.
{35764}{35880}You have enough on your plate without|having to worry about this. Don't...
{35884}{35948}Emma, your husband would|like a few words with you.
{35952}{35997}- Who?|- Patrick Sullivan?
{36001}{36064}{y:i}...have them on you?|- Sweetheart, can you, um...?
{36068}{36137}Can you hold please? Not a word.
{36170}{36217}{y:i}Hello? You there? Hello?
{36221}{36273}{y:i}- Ah! Mr Sullivan?|- Hey.
{36277}{36363}Let me get to the point. I left some|very important documents in your...
{36367}{36434}- Richard! Phone!|- Uh, can you just hold on
{36438}{36498}{y:i}- one second? Don't go away.|- Yeah.
{36536}{36618}Richard, sweetheart,|I am so sorry to keep you holding.
{36622}{36687}{y:i}- What's going on?|- I'll explain at the cake tasting.
{36691}{36789}{y:i}- I can't. I'll meet you tonight.|- But you promised. All right.
{36793}{36889}Husband! Cell!
{36893}{36985}Oh! Mr Sullivan? Mr Sullivan!
{36989}{37039}- Wilder, here.|- Mr Sullivan? Hello?
{37043}{37115}- Your father on two.|- Gotta run, darling! See you later.
{37119}{37197}- Gonna wait for your coffee?|- Nobody's got that kind of time.
{37201}{37269}I don't know what|you're smirking about, Wilder.
{37273}{37327}I'm just glad|to see you're having some fun.
{37331}{37402}Does it look like I'm having fun?|Wait.
{37406}{37498}You drove all the way in|just to bring Mom's dress?
{37502}{37581}Actually, I was hoping|to lure you over to Bemelmans
{37585}{37686}- for a banana split like the old days.|- Bemelmans has been closed for years.
{37690}{37763}Ah, well, my timing's|always been a little off.
{37767}{37833}Don't keep your husbands waiting.
{37837}{37904}- It's not what you think.|- I know.
{37908}{37984}Mr Sullivan?|Thank you so much for calling back.
{37988}{38033}- Excuse me?|- What do you want?
{38037}{38101}- Car's downstairs. You're late.|- Mr Sullivan.
{38105}{38156}{y:i}- Yes.|- Yes, about last night.
{38160}{38199}{y:i}- Yeah.|- What exactly happened?
{38203}{38297}{y:i}I tell you this, you do one hell|of a Riverdance. It was quite a night.
{38301}{38369}{y:i}- That doesn't sound like me.|- That wasn't the good part.
{38373}{38410}{y:i}- What do you mean?|- I'm here.
{38414}{38505}You're where?|Hey, I'm losing you. Hello?
{38509}{38575}Can you hear me now?|Look, forget last night.
{38579}{38653}What I want is a rather large stack|of papers I need you to sign.
{38657}{38731}- I got 'em right here.|- You do! Thanks. You made my day.
{38735}{38794}- Coffee?|- Thank you.
{38798}{38868}- I know a notary not far from here.|- Right now?
{38872}{38928}This appointment|took me three months to get.
{38932}{38978}- Sounds important.|- Cake tasting.
{38982}{39048}- Like I said, important stuff.|- It's the wedding cake,
{39052}{39122}and she's Marilyn Hirschfield,|a respected cake maker.
{39126}{39185}- These appointments are hard...|- I love cake!
{39189}{39240}- What are you doing? Hey!|- Scoot over.
{39244}{39350}- This cake is fantastic!|- Shh! Please, please. Be quiet.
{39354}{39446}- Can I get another slice of this one?|- You've already tried the butter cream.
{39450}{39528}It's my fiancée. She's on the fence|about the butter cream.
{39532}{39571}- I am not.|- Have any milk?
{39575}{39624}- Sure.|- After this, we go to the notary?
{39628}{39712}- Yeah, absolutely. How much is this?|- It's free, sir.
{39716}{39797}Bullshit! It's free!
{39801}{39877}- Here you are, sir.|- Here's my milk.
{39881}{39973}- Would you like a sip?|- No, thank you. I'm not six.
{39977}{40033}Holy crap! Cake down.
{40037}{40108}I need a spoon. Don't worry about it.|I got this.
{40112}{40201}Here we have our dark Belgian chocolate|with vanilla mousse torte.
{40205}{40251}- Thank you.|- It's awesome.
{40367}{40437}Oh, my God! Do you know|if you mix these two together,
{40441}{40498}it tastes like a Ring Ding!|You gotta try this.
{40502}{40601}No, no, no. That's all right.|I'm not your baby. No, no, no, no, no!
{40605}{40653}- Ah! Ah!|- No!
{40657}{40693}- Mmm?|- Ah?
{40697}{40802}- Mm. It's yummy.|- It's super-duper.
{40806}{40923}Mm-hm. Um, may I, um... may I just|have one more glass of milk, please?
{40927}{40997}Attagirl! Milk for my bride.|In fact, milks all around.
{41001}{41043}Milks all around.
{41047}{41117}- Hey, where you ladies from?|- Germany.
{41121}{41169}Wow! You must really like cake.
{41173}{41243}Yeah, you gotta try this,|and mix these two together.
{41247}{41335}Hey, hey, can we get, uh, some|Ring Ding things for the gals over here?
{41339}{41401}Darling, I am certain|everyone is being attended to.
{41405}{41477}Baby, I got this covered.|Don't you worry about it.
{41481}{41554}- Quite a handful you got there.|- That he is.
{41558}{41656}Impulsive, unpredictable. You never|know what he's gonna do next.
{41660}{41736}- Full of surprises.|- But that's the fun of it, isn't it?
{41740}{41820}- Of course it is.|- It is, trust me.
{41824}{41891}- Here you go, ladies.|- He reminds me of my husband
{41895}{41976}when we first met. Everybody|thought we were a total mismatch,
{41980}{42100}but we had so much fun.|And we still do 25 years later.
{42104}{42170}Hey! What are you ladies|talkin' about over here?
{42174}{42233}- Talking about the men in our lives.|- Ah, boys.
{42237}{42316}- Never mind.|- How did you two meet?
{42356}{42438}Oh, honey, you tell the story.|You tell it a lot better than I do.
{42442}{42583}No, no, no, no, no. No, you tell it.|You're the good, uh, teller of it.
{42587}{42642}- Please?|- All right, all right. Sure.
{42646}{42739}- You ladies heard of pro wrestling?|- Stop! Kidder!
{42743}{42790}Oh, he's such a kidder. Kidder.
{42794}{42869}It was a, um, uh... a blind date.
{42873}{42934}- Oh?|- Yeah, yeah, we were fixed up.
{42938}{42997}Yes! Fixed up.|But not with each other.
{43001}{43080}It was two separate blind dates|in the same bar.
{43084}{43130}- Both goin' terribly.|- Horribly!
{43134}{43186}Think about those people who set us up.
{43190}{43241}- Susie and Allen.|- Susie and Allen.
{43245}{43343}- What the hell did they know?|- I don't know. I guess he noticed me.
{43347}{43425}Well, I mean, come on. Look at her.
{43429}{43554}- A guy would have to be blind.|- Noticed me suffering on my bad date,
{43558}{43662}and then the band started playing this|song, and it was my favourite song.
{43666}{43795}And suddenly he was next to me and|he asked me to dance, and... I said yes.
{43856}{43907}- What was the song?|- Song?
{43911}{43982}- Mm-hm?|- Oh, yeah, the song.
{43986}{44047}{y:i}- Oh.|- # Over night scenes
{44051}{44130}{y:i}# Dinner and wine|Saturday girls
{44134}{44212}{y:i}# I was never in love|Never had the time
{44216}{44299}{y:i}- Honey, Every Woman in the World.|- Every Woman in the World.
{44303}{44357}{y:i}# Laughing myself to sleep
{44361}{44462}{y:i}# Waking up lonely|I needed someone to hold me
{44466}{44493}{y:i}# Oh, oh, oh
{44497}{44623}{y:i}# Girl, you're every woman|in the world to me
{44627}{44693}{y:i}# You're my fantasy
{44697}{44799}{y:i}- # You're my reality|- That's it! Uh, that's the song.
{44978}{45027}That was totally|off the top of my head.
{45031}{45124}Known each other for two hours|and we already got a song.
{45128}{45237}We don't have a song.|How long is this gonna take?
{45467}{45529}Emma Lloyd, Deepak Manaam Chaturvedi.
{45533}{45588}- Mr Manaam Chater...|- Deep. Deep.
{45592}{45635}- Mr Deep.|- I recognise you.
{45639}{45696}The passed-out lady|Patrick carries around.
{45700}{45743}Yes, that would be me.
{45783}{45863}- I brought you a little something.|- Oh, how very thoughtful.
{45891}{45941}Do we have to do this right now?
{46002}{46040}Delicious.
{46044}{46102}- It's not unlike a Ring Ding.|- What'd I tell you?
{46106}{46169}I'm sure you'd really love|a glass of milk with that,
{46173}{46234}but I have to get home|and changed for my book party.
{46238}{46305}- If you don't mind...|- Don't rush. I'm a notary public.
{46309}{46368}- I took a test.|- OK, I'm sorry.
{46372}{46432}Um, how long do you|think this will take?
{46436}{46482}Let's just review, hm?
{46509}{46595}Signatures... check.
{46599}{46711}Dates... check.
{46715}{46777}My seal and you'll be|on your way in ten minutes.
{46781}{46834}- Oh!|- An hour.
{46861}{46909}A year.
{46913}{46958}As long as it takes.|Who can say?
{46962}{47034}Anything you can do to hurry?|I don't mind paying extra.
{47038}{47147}- Trying to bribe a public official?|- Oh, this is ridiculous. I'm late!
{47151}{47219}I'm late, and I'll send|a messenger in the morning.
{47223}{47277}That will be more than enough time.
{47281}{47357}- I could bring it by the office.|- Oh, no. I will send a messenger.
{47361}{47432}Thank you, Mr Sullivan,|for your co-operation.
{47436}{47509}Well, thank you for thanking me,|Mrs Sullivan.
{47537}{47578}- A year?|- Patrick, I'm out. Out.
{47582}{47649}You had your fun. This is too far.|You should be ashamed.
{47653}{47722}- A nice lady like that?|- I wanted to give her a taste
{47726}{47826}of her own medicine, period.|And then I... I don't know.
{47830}{47924}- She's starting to grow on me.|- No. Look, no growing, OK?
{47928}{48022}No growing on anyone by anyone.|No knees weakened,
{48026}{48150}no shines taken to, none of it.|Not on my watch.
{48154}{48262}Now, go. You and Ajay|have caused enough trouble.
{48290}{48323}Out!
{48327}{48377}Dr Lloyd! This way, please!
{48381}{48450}Dr Lloyd? This camera, please.
{48454}{48535}- Smile, please.|- Beautiful, thank you.
{48539}{48609}- Hi.|- Eye contact, please?
{48613}{48715}- Sign this.|- This way, please.
{48719}{48777}- And where's Richard?|- Right over there.
{48781}{48818}Thanks.
{48841}{48890}- Hi! Oh!|- Not too shabby, huh?
{48894}{48961}- It's wonderful. I can't believe it.|- Sign these.
{48965}{48992}OK.
{49015}{49080}- I have so much to tell you.|- Did you get the papers?
{49084}{49176}- Um, they're at the notary.|- Excellent. Karl Bollenbecker's here.
{49180}{49212}- Make that out to him.|- Oh?
{49216}{49289}He wasn't coming, then his|office said he was. Good or bad?
{49293}{49349}How could it be bad?|He hasn't even met you.
{49353}{49404}- You look stunning.|- Thanks.
{49408}{49469}- What happened to your head?|- Oh! Bird accident.
{49473}{49544}A pigeon flew into me.|I'll go take care of it.
{49590}{49683}- Emma? You remember Dr Benton?|- Yes, hi. Nice to see you. Hi, Judy.
{49834}{49939}No sooner do we leave you then, bang,|I see your picture big on the bus.
{49943}{49990}Oh! From the cake tasting!
{49994}{50086}I felt so foolish, I went|and bought your book immediately.
{50090}{50147}- Oh, that's unnecessary.|- Later I was reading
{50151}{50252}your very sensible observation|and your clinical judgments...
{50256}{50346}- Are they good things?|- I'm sure some people find them useful,
{50350}{50444}but I was surprised that a helpless|romantic can give such practical advice.
{50448}{50520}- Me? Helpless?|- Oh, yes, you.
{50524}{50582}Hopelessly helpless,|but let me finish.
{50586}{50694}So my husband, Karl, returns|to the home and on top of his paper,
{50698}{50817}there is an invitation to this|very party. Isn't it amazing?
{50821}{50874}When you say Karl,|do you mean Karl...
{50878}{50919}Bollenbecker.
{50923}{51014}- It's a small world, isn't it?|- Yes!
{51018}{51113}Teeny. Like a marble.|Or a gumball.
{51117}{51182}I had to drag Karl|by the ear to come here.
{51186}{51241}- It is a girly book.|- Oh, no. It's not that.
{51245}{51338}Karl can be very girly. Only that he|doesn't like to socialise with someone
{51342}{51460}- whose company he intends to liquidate.|- Liquidate?
{51464}{51549}- Who, Richard?|- Yes, but we can fix that.
{51553}{51645}After this party, you and Richard|will join us for dinner.
{51649}{51778}If Karl sees the man I saw,|Abdington Books will be safe, I'm sure.
{51782}{51884}That is unbelievably kind of you,
{51888}{51968}but you see, Richard and I made plans|and so we're supposed to...
{51972}{52026}Only one thing|you're supposed to do, Emma,
{52030}{52148}and it's to bring your fiancé to dinner.|Let's find Richard. Karl is waiting.
{52263}{52361}Oh! Oh, oh, my husband hates you,|but you saved our marriage. Do you mind?
{52365}{52415}Not at all.|Um, who shall I make it out to?
{52419}{52455}- To...|- Richard!
{52544}{52628}Um... thank you.
{52657}{52707}Oh, hey, hey.|I brought your papers.
{52711}{52815}Richard! Sweetheart.|Please go with me on this, OK?
{52819}{52874}- Remember Greta Bollenbecker?|- Cake lady!
{52878}{52983}- It's a small world.|- So small. Constantly shrinking.
{52987}{53053}- It must be the global warming.|- I want to introduce you
{53057}{53117}- to my husband.|- Her husband, Karl,
{53121}{53189}is Karl Bollenbecker,|who just acquired Richard's,
{53193}{53282}your publishing house and he's thinking|of dumping you, Richard, and it.
{53286}{53363}- Wait, I own a publishing house?|- Yes, and you're my fiancé,
{53367}{53447}so please just focus, concentrate.|Got it?
{53451}{53512}This is him.
{53516}{53590}- You must be the cake dunker.|- You got me.
{53594}{53697}- That's my Richard!|- Casual Fridays?
{53701}{53755}I actually just came|from soccer practise.
{53759}{53831}- You play football?|- Well, I'm no Lucas Podolski.
{53835}{53914}Podolski!|Well, nothing could beat Podolski!
{53918}{54021}I own his team and he is a magnificent|pain in the ass, but a genius.
{54025}{54082}You own the Bayern München club?
{54086}{54167}Why don't you use Klose on defence?|He's been under-utilised.
{54171}{54247}- That's what I told that stupid coach.|- Klinsmann? Gotta go.
{54251}{54335}- We agree.|- Excuse me. My name's... Ow! Jesus!
{54339}{54378}- What...?|- Hand noogies!
{54382}{54495}We give each other hand noogies.|This is my brother, Carl.
{54499}{54574}Your name is Carl as well?|This is a small world!
{54578}{54687}Yes, teeny! Like a gimlet. Yes, my tiny,|teeny little brother, but not small.
{54691}{54770}No. Big. Older, but not by much.
{54774}{54864}- Carl, who I love so very, very much.|- How's it goin', bro?
{54868}{54966}- Wine?|- I'm sorry, I'm suddenly very thirsty.
{54970}{55051}- Carl? Carl?|- Carl.
{55055}{55124}This is Karl Bollenbecker|and I'm Greta, his wife,
{55128}{55246}- and we're so charmed by your sister.|- And her outspoken fiancé
{55250}{55330}{y:i}who seems to find fault with|every player in the Bundesliga.
{55334}{55432}- But not Podolski.|- But never Podolski!
{55465}{55527}So, you sound English,|but your sister...
{55531}{55615}- Can I borrow Emma?|- Yes, but we both had... I'm sorry.
{55619}{55699}A hand noogie!
{55725}{55779}Who is that man out there|pretending to be me?
{55783}{55835}- I can explain.|- He's wearing sweatpants.
{55839}{55910}- Sullivan! Honey, you're stress-eating.|- I'm not. Go on.
{55914}{55996}I wasn't at my father's. I was with|Sullivan. Not "with him" with him,
{56000}{56102}but in his apartment drunk. That sounds|worse. I assure you I was fully clothed.
{56106}{56173}Beyond that, I'm not certain,|except he showed up today
{56177}{56228}with papers when I had|to go to the tasting,
{56232}{56288}which you refused to go|because you're busy...
{56292}{56357}- Get back to the Bollenbeckers!|- Right. Fine.
{56361}{56434}At the cake tasting,|there was this sweet lady.
{56438}{56549}And she thought Sullivan was my fiancé|and I just couldn't disappoint her.
{56553}{56644}But this lady wasn't sweet at all.|She was Mrs Bollenbecker,
{56648}{56706}- which I didn't know.|- You certainly know now!
{56710}{56787}I do. Had I known I wouldn't|have let the whole thing continue.
{56791}{56870}But it did continue until everyone|was quite taken with him,
{56874}{56940}especially Mrs Bollenbecker|when he sang.
{56944}{57002}- He's a singer?|- No, no, no. He's a fireman.
{57006}{57134}- Darling, are you sure you want that?|- Yes. Yes, I am. What is he doing here?
{57138}{57200}He came to bring me|the notarised papers.
{57204}{57317}But then there was Mrs Bollenbecker.|I'm Emma Lloyd, so he's my fiancé.
{57321}{57432}- And I am tiny brother Carl.|- Oh, Richard, I'm terribly sorry.
{57436}{57515}But, uh, oh, look! Mini-cupcakes.
{57519}{57587}Look, Emma. I only got|about half of what you're saying,
{57591}{57663}but this seems to be something|that can be cleaned up easily.
{57667}{57758}So before you harpoon what is left of my|reputation, I am gonna go in there...
{57762}{57830}No, no, no, you can't!|They're going to exterminate you.
{57834}{57900}- What?|- Not you, Abdington Books.
{57904}{57990}Terminate! No, liquidate! That's it.|Yes, chop it up in little pieces,
{57994}{58087}sell it all off! Everything must go!|That's why Karl wasn't coming.
{58091}{58150}- But he did come!|- Because Mrs B made him come.
{58154}{58216}She made him come so he could meet you.
{58220}{58324}Oh, look. I think he's|really starting to like you.
{58328}{58392}Oh, all right, I...|Let me think now.
{58396}{58475}Man owns so many entities, I can buy|a year before our paths cross,
{58479}{58548}so we just have to get through this.|A few more minutes?
{58552}{58673}And a dinner. Tonight. It was Mrs B's|idea, so Karl could get to know you.
{58677}{58709}- He's gone.|- Karl?
{58713}{58766}- No, Sullivan. He's gone.|- But the dinner!
{58770}{58868}- Get him there!|- Oh, uh...
{58952}{59024}- Is Sullivan even in here?|- I don't see how he'd fit.
{59028}{59080}Not now, Marcy.
{59143}{59211}- Find the lioness within.|- Now, you've read my book?
{59215}{59305}{y:i}Mr Sullivan, Emma Lloyd here.
{59309}{59336}Here's the deal.
{59340}{59470}My entire career, and my marriage to|Richard, probably, are at stake here.
{59511}{59631}Frankly, I need you.|I really need you... tonight.
{60048}{60104}{y:i}- Hello?|- Say "yes" if he's there,
{60108}{60176}{y:i}- "Oh, my God" if he's not.|- Oh, my God.
{60180}{60239}{y:i}- Oh, my God!|- Don't overdo it.
{60243}{60310}{y:i}- You got hit by a cab?|- Good, nice touch.
{60314}{60426}What hospital are you in? I'll be|right there. He was hit by a cab!
{60430}{60532}{y:i}- Who was hit by a cab?|- Is that Sullivan?
{60536}{60652}Oh! So it was only your foot?|And you're fine, promise?
{60656}{60705}Oh!
{60709}{60819}Carl, he got...|a cab ran over his foot Yeah.
{60823}{60917}- Carl can't catch a break.|- Drink lots of cocoa. Bye-bye, darling!
{60921}{61047}Richard, I was beginning to think a man|who would leave his fiancée un-attended
{61051}{61153}for so long might not be|as charming as I imagined.
{61157}{61282}But, no matter.|Please, join us for dessert.
{61286}{61374}Karl, I know how important|this dinner is to my future
{61378}{61435}with the Bollenbecker Group,
{61439}{61509}but I've got this family thing.
{61513}{61586}And where I come from,|family comes first.
{61590}{61679}So I'm just here|to invite you to a party.
{61739}{61840}- Could be a lot of fun.|- To family! Above all else!
{61844}{61894}To family!
{62518}{62562}You look beautiful.
{62685}{62751}Nice crowd for your upanayanam, man.
{62809}{62883}- What's with all the white people?|- Party crashers.
{62887}{62991}- Even that one?|- No, that one's with me.
{62995}{63055}Welcome, Emma.
{63059}{63094}Get up there.
{64366}{64455}Oh, I love my husband|but he snores at night,
{64459}{64510}and it only gets worse...
{64540}{64602}My husband snores all the time.|I just, tight slap.
{64606}{64687}- Tight slap.|- You look really cute.
{64691}{64797}- Why do they snore?|- Check your mehndi for hidden messages.
{64831}{64902}It's part of the tradition.|When marriages were arranged,
{64906}{65024}the groom would search his bride's body|on their wedding night to find initials.
{65028}{65078}Ah! That's naughty.
{67122}{67209}- Did I happen to say thank you?|- You did, and you're welcome.
{67323}{67392}You're not the person|I thought you were, Patrick.
{67396}{67451}Likewise, Dr Lloyd.
{67539}{67610}I can't. I have to go.
{67818}{67902}Wilder? It's me. Can you come get me?
{68472}{68583}- Hey.|- Hey. Got any beer?
{68617}{68689}- You did good tonight.|- Thanks.
{68985}{69090}You gotta tell her, man.|Girls are way into honesty.
{69128}{69173}All right. Goodnight, you two.
{69251}{69315}Oh, um, honestly, Wilder.
{69319}{69399}What am I doing? Running around|Queens in the middle of the night,
{69403}{69484}crashing Indian bar mitzvahs two|weeks before my wedding with a man
{69488}{69593}- who's technically my husband.|- Beats me, Em.
{69597}{69664}- Would you like another one?|- Mm, yeah.
{69668}{69750}- I used extra eggs.|- Thank you, Daddy.
{69754}{69833}- I wish Mom were here.|- Yeah, me too.
{69837}{69915}She'd know exactly what to tell you,|wouldn't she?
{69919}{69975}You're doing all right, actually.
{69979}{70048}- You still make a mean breakfast.|- I second that.
{70052}{70121}He also makes amazing smoothies.|Is there time for one?
{70125}{70235}- Um, no. Uh, Lauren, this is Emma.|- Emma!
{70239}{70282}- Oh, my God.|- Hi.
{70286}{70389}My mom loves you. I'd listen to your|show, too, but I don't have a radio.
{70393}{70475}Which reminds me, is there a mall here,|or a Best Buy or something?
{70479}{70570}Oh, there's a Toys "R" Us.|Maybe they'll have something for her.
{70574}{70631}Nice to meet you.|Wilder, it's been real.
{70635}{70712}Um, excuse us a minute.
{70716}{70790}- Is there something wrong with you?|- No, no, nothing.
{70794}{70873}I'm just late and I have|to go meet Richard, so...
{70877}{70965}- Don'tjump to conclusions.|- No.
{70969}{71019}Thanks for breakfast, Father.
{71023}{71078}Sorry I can't stick around|for the smoothie.
{71082}{71144}You don't know everything|there is to know.
{71148}{71249}No, like some things never get old,|and, um... My car is here.
{71253}{71354}Look, this time, you're|really wrong, Emma. You are.
{71421}{71489}Goodbye, Wilder.
{71493}{71548}Bye, sweetheart.
{71552}{71605}Daddy loves you, nonetheless.
{71784}{71895}The golf tee white is stylish,|but, um, I just, it's been done.
{71899}{71991}And it's not as common as the|picket fence white, which is safe,
{71995}{72049}but it's a bit boring.
{72053}{72139}The Navajo white is bolder,|but it's sort of in-your-face white.
{72143}{72231}I don't know, um...|They all look the same to me.
{72235}{72318}- In what way?|- In that they're all white.
{72322}{72422}Yes, but different,|I mean, wildly different.
{72426}{72488}Are you not going|to ask me about last night?
{72492}{72548}Well, I assumed it went pretty well.
{72552}{72643}Bollenbecker Group just renewed my|contract five years, thanks to you.
{72647}{72738}Now, all we need to do is file those|papers and we'll put this behind us.
{72742}{72796}Um, well...
{72882}{72915}I don't have the papers.
{72969}{73023}- What's going on, Em?|- I don't know.
{73027}{73115}He had them at the book signing.|Between the dinner and the upanayanam,
{73119}{73225}Indian bar mitzvah, don't ask,|I misplaced them.
{73229}{73284}- I had them in my hands!|- Don't worry about it.
{73288}{73364}- It's so unlike me.|- It's all right.
{73368}{73429}I'm gonna take care of everything|from now on.
{73493}{73569}A white lie is still a lie.|It may be a subtler shade of truth,
{73573}{73637}but anyone's who's looking|can see it on the wall.
{73641}{73695}{y:i}So I should tell him the truth.
{73699}{73799}I'm saying that a cream-coloured,|ivory-hued, matte-finished, half-truth
{73803}{73895}will erode the foundation|of your relationship.
{73899}{74003}{y:i}- You're getting married soon, right?|- Yep. That's right.
{74007}{74110}{y:i}Your fiancé must be a lucky man|to know he has you to keep him honest.
{74114}{74152}We're both very lucky.
{74156}{74239}Brother Carl.|Didn't know you played.
{74243}{74329}Let's drop the bullshit, shall we?|It's Richard.
{74333}{74428}- Richard Braxton, as you well know.|- Patrick Sullivan, as you well know.
{74432}{74500}Hell, we're practically family.
{74504}{74581}You behaved like a real gentleman|over a rather odd period.
{74585}{74641}Emma tells me you did me a good turn
{74645}{74718}- and I appreciate that.|- It was fun.
{74722}{74793}I have to play the spoil-sport|and ask for those papers
{74797}{74869}- so we can go separate ways.|- I'll bring them by the office.
{74873}{74933}- No, that's not gonna happen.|- Why's that?
{74937}{74994}She and I have a life|which doesn't include you,
{74998}{75082}and I want to keep it that way.|So I'm asking you man-to-man
{75086}{75197}- not to see her, call her, text her.|- I'm not much of a texter.
{75247}{75346}Somebody in your circle seems|to have a gift for technology.
{75350}{75446}- What do you mean?|- The more I look into this glitch,
{75450}{75525}as Emma calls it,|the less accidental it seems.
{75529}{75618}You might be technologically-challenged.|Anyone close to you
{75622}{75766}- might be able to pull this off?|- Not off the top of my head, no.
{75843}{75892}I intend to find out who did this.
{75978}{76097}{y:i}[# Nouvelle Vague: Ever Fallen in Love
{76586}{76683}{y:i}Something wrong with him.
{76783}{76850}I know you've been there.|We've all been there.
{76854}{76967}Sounds like a crush. You're a grown|woman, let's call it an infatuation.
{76971}{77039}...far bigger problems|than what you have now.
{77043}{77140}You're dreaming! Wake up, girl. Do you|share the vision of the future?
{77144}{77203}Is he dependable?|You have to ask yourself.
{77207}{77288}Smart, successful, beautiful women|cannot live on kisses alone.
{77292}{77410}You may think the chemistry|has commonality with friendship.
{77414}{77510}Take a look at the compatibility|quizzes in my book, chapter seven.
{77514}{77573}{y:i}- You'll find it illuminating.|- Thank you.
{77577}{77671}Thank you, caller.|Hi, you're on the air.
{77675}{77767}{y:i}I'm reading your book, too.|You call this a self-help book
{77771}{77843}{y:i}- or does that term offend?|- Uh, not in the least.
{77847}{77982}- Who does it help, exactly?|- Well, it...
{77986}{78106}See, the thing is, I, um... I haven't|gotten to the helpful part yet.
{78110}{78185}- Perhaps you're a slow reader.|- No, it doesn't tell you how
{78189}{78280}to find somebody to love, or how you|get somebody to love you back.
{78284}{78377}All it does is tell you what's wrong|with the person you're in love with.
{78381}{78442}That to me, well,|that's not very helpful.
{78446}{78546}Perhaps it is you who are wrong for|the person you think you are right for.
{78550}{78627}What is it you know about me|that would make you say that?
{78631}{78678}- I don't know you.|- You bet you don't.
{78682}{78740}I don't. Since you called,|here's some advice.
{78744}{78803}Instead of blaming others|for your problems,
{78807}{78888}- consider looking at yourself.|- I'm looking right at my problem.
{78892}{79041}- Well, stop fogging up the mirror.|- Nice.
{79045}{79144}- Did you just hang up on a caller?|- I did notjust hang up on a caller.
{79148}{79277}{y:i}Hello? Hello? Uh, hello?|I think we've been disconnected.
{79281}{79356}It must be those cell phones,|those nasty cell phones.
{79360}{79471}Thanks to my caller for calling|and I will be seeing you tomorrow
{79475}{79538}{y:i}for the next|Real Love with Dr Emma Lloyd.
{79660}{79749}Are you crazy? How dare you come to my|place of work and make prank calls?
{79753}{79816}I'm flipping through this|and it was so full of crap
{79820}{79911}- that maybe I ought to call in!|- I see you actually bought my book.
{79915}{79993}- No. I stole it from your party.|- Stole it. That makes sense.
{79997}{80045}And I took your compatibility quiz.
{80049}{80104}- Really? How did you do?|- According to this,
{80108}{80205}my lifestyle is wholly unsuitable to|any freak who would buy or write a book
{80209}{80303}- like this.|- Surprise. Those tests don't lie.
{80307}{80370}New York City Fire Department.|Official business.
{80374}{80462}Please exit the elevator.|Come on, ladies. Sir, thank you.
{80466}{80531}- What are you doing?|- Unsuitable?
{80535}{80657}Is that really what you think of me?
{80661}{80741}I don't think of you.
{80745}{80803}You want to see unsuitable?
{81227}{81278}Hey, security,
{81282}{81338}- what's the story with the elevator?|- Holy!
{81342}{81455}- My wife loves her show.|- Delivery.
{81459}{81516}I can't even get a guy|to hold a door for me.
{81520}{81603}- Step back, please.|- Can you fix the focus on that?
{81607}{81663}- Zoom in a little bit.|- There you go.
{81714}{81850}I've had enough of this. Excuse me, sir?|Doctor? Doctor?
{81854}{81945}I'm gonna have to ask you|to please stop. Stop what you're doing.
{81949}{82035}Come down to the lobby immediately.|Stop it.
{82039}{82087}{y:i}Stop it now, please.
{82758}{82818}- Sorry about that.|- Which part, exactly?
{82822}{82876}- Kissing you thing.|- We just got caught up.
{82880}{82945}- Carried away.|- Lost our heads.
{82984}{83031}I'm getting married.
{83089}{83176}Yeah.
{83180}{83222}You love him?
{83226}{83301}I only ask this because...
{83305}{83397}being that I'm your husband and|you're my wife, I have this...
{83401}{83479}I have this vested interest|in seeing you happy.
{83483}{83581}I want to be happy. Don't you?
{83585}{83644}What is happiness anyway?
{83691}{83727}I don't know.
{83731}{83781}You tell me, you wrote the book.
{83785}{83838}I guess I don't know.
{84145}{84242}- Patrick...|- It was nice being married to you.
{84268}{84308}You, too.
{84369}{84450}- Thanks.|- Goodbye, Emma.
{84613}{84703}Oh! Oh, oh!
{85843}{85930}I'm sorry I'm late.|I know, I'm always so prompt.
{85934}{86048}Don't worry. When I arrived, I told them|to bring the drinks in ten minutes.
{86052}{86127}- How's that for timing?|- Oh, what a day. You have no idea.
{86131}{86201}Actually, I kind of do.
{86205}{86250}I heard your show today.
{86254}{86306}- That was Sullivan, I take it?|- Yes.
{86310}{86379}The good news is I got the papers.
{86383}{86487}Everything but page 127,|and I'm sure it's in there somewhere.
{86491}{86584}- We'll never see him again.|- So why don't you look happy?
{86588}{86628}I am.
{86678}{86743}Well, I've got something|that might cheer you up.
{86747}{86858}Harry Winston finished our rings.|Now, wanna have a look?
{86898}{86946}Wow!
{86950}{87045}See, the circle of eternity|came out great, don't you think?
{87049}{87162}- No. They did mine wrong.|- What are you talking about?
{87166}{87225}- It's perfect.|- It says "Do I? Do I? Do I?"
{87229}{87264}Not "I do, I do, I do. "
{87530}{87612}Em, you're under a tremendous|amount of stress at the moment.
{87616}{87680}It's not stress, Richard.|I just don't know.
{87684}{87746}I'm really confused.
{87750}{87826}Well, I'm not confused, Em.|I know exactly what I want.
{87830}{87962}I think you and I are the perfect team.|Never doubted it for a moment.
{87966}{88051}But I am not gonna|talk you into marrying me.
{88055}{88117}Take a few days|and figure out what it is you want.
{88121}{88189}In fact, why don't we|begin that right now.
{88193}{88241}Richard.
{88285}{88385}{y:i}We had a really|nice time. Good conversation.
{88389}{88466}{y:i}He was sweet and funny,|but I don't know. Something's missing.
{88470}{88541}{y:i}- There was no... Exactly.|- Spark?
{88545}{88605}Yeah, let me|tell you something about sparks.
{88609}{88699}Sparks cause fires and fires|will burn your house down.
{88703}{88787}Keep searching for good ol' Sparky,|you're sure to get burned.
{88791}{88854}Trust me on that, OK?
{89113}{89208}Oh, I'm so hungry!
{89212}{89297}Wilder!|Your girlfriend's wearing my robe!
{89301}{89412}Actually, his girlfriend's daughter|is wearing your robe.
{89416}{89488}- Hello, Emma.|- Aren't you my...?
{89530}{89618}So, um, why the big secret?
{89622}{89699}I wanted to tell you.|Your father thought you wouldn't hire me
{89703}{89748}as caterer|if you knew we were dating.
{89752}{89843}- Is that what you call it?|- That or this is an elaborate ruse
{89847}{89940}- of yours to get out of paying my bill.|- You have been worth every penny.
{89944}{90054}There you go again,|always saying the perfect thing.
{90058}{90146}You've been together for almost a year.|Why didn't you tell me?
{90150}{90226}You've met so many women over the years,|I thought I'd hold off
{90230}{90295}on this introduction|until we were sure of each other.
{90299}{90366}- And are we?|- Well, I am.
{90370}{90484}I can't even keep track of all|the things I've misunderstood.
{90488}{90521}Sorry.
{90602}{90677}Dad? I know I never asked you,
{90681}{90783}but, um, what do you think of Richard?|Do you like him?
{90787}{90916}Well, sure, honey. What's not to like?|I mean, he's perfect, isn't he?
{90920}{91009}- Is that a compliment?|- You don't need compliments from me.
{91013}{91076}I've never told you|how to live or who to date.
{91080}{91155}That's always been in your department.
{91159}{91236}So, what if I'm, uh,|losing my footing in my department
{91240}{91327}and I'm asking for a second opinion?
{91331}{91428}Well, I think Richard is a...
{91432}{91478}...a good, safe bet. You know?
{91482}{91554}He's the kind of guy|that you've always gravitated toward
{91558}{91660}and advised other women to pursue,|isn't he?
{91664}{91767}Probably the type of fellow that my|brand of fatherhood pushed you into.
{91771}{91826}Look, honey, I mean,
{91830}{91925}I've made some big mistakes in my life,|some real whoppers,
{91929}{92023}but if I hadn't I probably wouldn't have|been able to recognise the real thing
{92027}{92165}when it came along. You don't|have to be so right all the time.
{92169}{92210}It's OK to make a couple mistakes.
{92460}{92521}- Hello, tall lady!|- Oh, Emma!
{92525}{92592}Emma, you're drenched.|Come, darling.
{92596}{92656}- Move, she has to eat something.|- Quiet!
{92660}{92771}Can't you see that she's not here|to eat or watch telly or chit-chat?
{92775}{92832}She's come for the man she loves.
{92836}{92926}Here you are with your "come, come"|and your "sit, sit" and your "eat, eat".
{92930}{93008}You're standing in the course|of true love. Stand aside, I say!
{93012}{93072}Through the beads,|up the stairs, two flights.
{93190}{93238}What?
{93362}{93420}Yeah, it's raining.
{93424}{93476}Figured you'd have the day off.
{93512}{93548}Come in.
{93680}{93722}Oh, here you go.
{93726}{93802}Let me, uh,|let me get you some dry clothes.
{93834}{93896}- Patrick?|- Yeah.
{93946}{94002}I think I called off my wedding.
{94141}{94236}Emma, I...|I need to tell you something.
{94392}{94500}- What?|- It can wait.
{95778}{95814}Oh.
{95873}{95952}- How's it going in there, babe?|- Great!
{95956}{96041}- We're having toast!|- I'll be out in a minute.
{96045}{96107}OK.
{96685}{96746}{y:i}# You're my fantasy
{96750}{96812}{y:i}# You're my reality
{96939}{96991}{y:i}# Every woman in the world
{97024}{97122}What is this? And this? And this?|Are you some sick stalker?
{97126}{97179}No, Emma, it's not what you think.|Emma!
{97183}{97239}- Emma! Emma, wait!|- I can't believe this.
{97243}{97290}I saw the invitation. You're married?
{97294}{97397}- No! No, I'm not married!|- Liar. Stay away from me!
{97401}{97446}Emma! Emma, I can explain.
{97450}{97560}Yeah? What, that this is no accident?|There was no glitch?
{97564}{97654}No, you. You are the glitch.|You Googled me, invaded my life,
{97658}{97750}invaded my privacy,|ruined my relationship.
{97754}{97824}I almost called off my wedding for you!
{97828}{97896}I trusted you! I had sex with you.
{97900}{97993}You're just some sort of con man,|scam artist, deranged fan?
{97997}{98074}- Know what? Don't flatter yourself.|- I... What have I done?
{98078}{98178}Richard warned me about you. I warn|people about men like you every day!
{98182}{98238}- I'm worse than my own callers.|- Emma! Stop!
{98242}{98287}Thank you.
{98291}{98376}Can I show you something? Please?
{98455}{98489}Do you know her?
{98542}{98630}- No, I don't.|- Yeah, you don't. Come here.
{98673}{98751}That's Sofia, as in "You're cordially|invited to the marriage
{98755}{98853}of Patrick Thomas Sullivan|and Sofia Idelia Maria Chechagua. "
{98857}{98934}She's Dominican. We met on the job.|She almost blew up a building
{98938}{99028}polishing those nails of hers.|I carried her down 15 flights of stairs
{99032}{99094}and sat next to her hospital bed|until she woke up.
{99098}{99182}- What does this have to do with me?|- She was a big fan of your show.
{99186}{99260}Listened to it every day.|One day, she called in.
{99264}{99333}- You probably don't remember.|- No, I don't.
{99337}{99412}- You told her to call off the wedding.|- Patrick...
{99416}{99492}Someone you don't know and can't|remember, you changed her life
{99496}{99570}and mine forever.
{99574}{99632}I guess I wanted|to educate you about that.
{99636}{99725}About what it's like to have your|life ripped out from under you.
{99729}{99773}I wanted to knock you down a peg.
{99851}{99914}- You did.|- Emma, I...
{99918}{99981}- Goodbye, Patrick.|- Emma.
{99985}{100028}Emma.
{100663}{100717}It's beautiful.
{100721}{100820}I was just thinking how... how it's|too big for me without you here.
{100903}{100958}Are you here?
{101024}{101063}If you'll have me.
{101095}{101173}Do you mean you still|want to get married?
{101177}{101224}I do.
{101245}{101292}I do. I do.
{101350}{101422}As many of you have heard,|I'm getting married.
{101426}{101516}People keep asking me if I'm nervous.|Well, I'm not.
{101520}{101604}My eyes are open and what I see|is not the man of my dreams,
{101608}{101657}but the man of my reality.
{101661}{101733}He's who he says he is,|there where he's supposed to be.
{101737}{101802}If you want to close your eyes|and jump in,
{101806}{101864}try the high-diving board at the YMCA.
{101938}{102014}There's a generation of men|and women roaming New York City
{102018}{102099}in search of the|holy grail dream partner.
{102103}{102221}But until we learn the difference|between romantic love and real love,
{102225}{102341}we're just searching in vain for|something that doesn't even exist.
{102345}{102442}Here we are. Until next time.
{103281}{103327}Ask yourself serious questions.
{103331}{103412}Couples shouldn't have to hide.|Play with fire, get burned.
{103416}{103489}Irresponsible. Dependable?|You can't trust what you lust.
{103493}{103587}Does he give you a stable universe?|Love has to be earned, not yearned.
{103591}{103705}Stop obsessing about this old girlfriend|of his. Got it? All right. Next caller.
{103709}{103769}It's a hard decision.|Am I right? Well, caller...
{103773}{103843}Trust me on that. Next caller.|Based on what? What?
{103847}{103889}Trust me on that, OK?|OK, well...
{103893}{103961}Um... I don't know.|What do you want from me?
{103965}{104030}{y:i}- Real Love is just a theory.|- A theory, yes,
{104034}{104135}but based on ten years of research|and study of sociological, psychosexual,
{104139}{104240}statistical analysis of men and women|and their relationships.
{104244}{104324}{y:i}What if you're wrong?
{104328}{104383}{y:i}Hello? You still there?
{104824}{104926}Take that one.|Trust me, she needs to take that one.
{104930}{105020}{y:i}It's 15 minutes after the hour and|you're listening to Real Love with me,
{105024}{105069}{y:i}Dr Emma Lloyd.
{105073}{105093}{y:i}Uh...
{105106}{105149}Yep, we got time|for one more caller. We've got...
{105150}{105201}Patrick of Astoria.
{105326}{105387}- Patrick of Astoria.|- Oh, really?
{105391}{105457}I thought for a second|you weren't gonna put me through.
{105461}{105560}Thousands of people are listening. Let's|not waste their time. How can I help?
{105564}{105680}There's... there's this girl that I'm...|that I'm falling for.
{105684}{105752}That I have fallen for.
{105756}{105858}{y:i}And, uh, well the trick is she's...|she's getting married tomorrow.
{105862}{105933}{y:i}And if that's what she really wants,|then I'm happy for her.
{105937}{106007}That's very generous of you,|Patrick from Astoria.
{106011}{106074}There's one other thing that...
{106078}{106144}{y:i}...that she doesn't know.|- We're almost out of time.
{106148}{106238}The thing that|I didn't tell her is, um...
{106242}{106299}{y:i}- The thing she doesn't know...|- Come on.
{106303}{106357}...is that I love her.
{106361}{106463}{y:i}You know, I, uh, I look at her|and I see, I see my whole life.
{106467}{106567}{y:i}And I just thought|she should know that.
{106571}{106633}I'm afraid that's|all the time we have, caller.
{106637}{106721}{y:i}This is Dr Emma Lloyd.
{106725}{106773}{y:i}And you're listening to Real Love.
{106777}{106824}Where's she going?
{106828}{106877}- Get in there.|- OK.
{106881}{106936}{y:i}Let's see, we got, um, Chuck
{106940}{107008}on line four is looking|for his soul mate,
{107012}{107129}and Maria on line two|just got dumped. So, Chuck?
{107133}{107185}{y:i}- Yeah?|- Say what's up to Maria.
{107189}{107214}{y:i}How you doin'?
{107476}{107562}Well? Do you really like it?
{107566}{107651}- Perfect. You're perfect.|- I'm fucked.
{107655}{107727}It's an interesting segue.
{107731}{107814}- Did you listen to the show last night?|- Yes.
{107818}{107864}- He loves me.|- I know.
{107868}{107948}The entire tri-state area knows.|The car's here.
{107952}{108051}- What am I gonna do?|- Well, first thing we should fire her.
{108055}{108129}- I heard that.|- Sister at the keyhole,
{108133}{108206}- just what you always wanted, huh?|- I did, didn't I?
{108210}{108269}Instead you got you and me.
{108273}{108357}We didn't do too badly, did we?|We were a disaster.
{108361}{108399}Yeah, we were.
{108490}{108563}But I see a comeback in the making.
{108567}{108624}Yeah?
{108732}{108808}For a guy who's waited|this long to marry my daughter,
{108812}{108886}he sure is cutting it close,|don't you think?
{108890}{108957}- Do you know how I know I love you?|- How?
{108961}{109055}Because nothing in the world would|make me drag you to the altar again.
{109059}{109119}We don't want|to press our luck, do we?
{109143}{109216}I should go see how Emma's doing.|Let me know if he gets here.
{109462}{109538}- Take it off, Marcy. It's crooked.|- Let me try.
{109542}{109632}Oh, so this goes like this.
{109700}{109779}And this... goes here.
{109805}{109854}Here comes the bride.
{109996}{110056}I can't do this.
{110153}{110210}Excuse me, ladies.|Could I have a moment?
{110596}{110647}- Richard...|- Wow.
{110651}{110687}Look at you.
{110691}{110826}Seems kind of silly, though, huh?|Me in this dress, veil.
{110830}{110914}Bridesmaids. It's like|some sort of play or something.
{110918}{110997}No, you don't look silly.
{111050}{111159}Well, you look extremely not silly|and handsome yourself.
{111249}{111344}I'm sorry I'm late. I had to go back|to the city and get something for you.
{111550}{111592}You forgot to file them.
{111655}{111726}You should know by now,|I'm not really the forgetful type.
{111730}{111797}No, no you're not.
{111826}{111961}Ever since you gave me these, I've been|putting off filing them for some reason.
{111965}{112037}Why do you think that is?
{112095}{112151}I love you, Em.
{112155}{112211}I'm clever enough|to know when I've lost.
{112314}{112414}I should have asked you|to marry me a long time ago.
{112418}{112480}Well, maybe we just missed our moment.
{112526}{112634}If you marry me today, you'll|always be looking over your shoulder.
{112638}{112690}You'll never be completely happy.
{112771}{112857}- You need to be happy, Em.|- I can't stand it.
{112861}{112922}Oh, Richard.
{112941}{112992}It'll be all right.
{113020}{113144}I'll be all right. As soon as we|can get past that angry mob out there.
{113148}{113207}Oh, yeah, them.
{113211}{113258}I'll handle this.
{113262}{113292}Really?
{113338}{113434}No, not really. In fact, this time you|should worry. I have no plan.
{113667}{113774}Come on, help me up.|Give me that candle.
{113866}{113988}Would you just wait until I've left|the room. I might need this suit again.
{113992}{114033}Richard?
{114662}{114728}{y:i}Engine 41,|this is Great Neck dispatch.
{114732}{114819}{y:i}We've got a fire alarm and sprinkler|activation at Saint Paul's church.
{114823}{114890}Great Neck?|It's not even in our district.
{114894}{114994}Listen, I know it's out of your|district, but here's the thing.
{114998}{115073}You guys have sort of been requested.
{116056}{116170}- How you doin'?|- I had to talk to you!
{116302}{116357}You could have just called.
{116454}{116510}So, what's up?
{116582}{116640}This.
{116918}{116971}When I was a kid,
{116975}{117058}I used to have a hard time|believing in happy endings.
{117062}{117178}The heroine rode off into the sunset|with what I thought was the wrong guy.
{117182}{117263}{y:i}One day, my dad found me crying.|I was watching Lady and the Tramp
{117267}{117370}and he asked me what was wrong.|I said, "Dad, those two dogs
{117374}{117488}don't stand a chance. They're wrong for|each other. They have nothing in common.
{117492}{117590}The movie's gonna end, they're gonna|break up and be heartbroken forever. "
{117594}{117665}He pulled me in close and he said to me,
{117669}{117796}"Em, sometimes when you're really in|love you don't sweat the small stuff. "
{117800}{117866}{y:i}Are you saying|we should run away together?
{117870}{117932}Are you insane?|You're old enough to be his mother.
{117936}{117991}{y:i}- Wait till he gets out of school.|- Who is this?
{117995}{118057}- Good day to you, madam.|- You were going to behave.
{118061}{118168}I don't know how you do this. People|drive me crazy. It won't happen again.
{118172}{118268}- Where was I?|- Don't sweat the small stuff.
{118272}{118349}I didn't appreciate|my father's advice for a long time.
{118353}{118439}You have to figure out those things|for yourself. But enough about me.
{118443}{118528}It's a quarter past the hour and now|for a word from our sponsors.
{118532}{118643}{y:i}This is Dr Emma Lloyd, you're listening|to Real Love. Please, don't go away.
{118743}{118820}Haven't you got any|cats to pull out of trees?
{118824}{118921}That only happens in cartoons,|Mrs Sullivan, as you well know.
{118925}{118987}Indeed I do, Mr Sullivan.|What can I do for ya?
{118991}{119097}Happened to be in the neighbourhood,|thought I'd stop by and say hello.
{119101}{119200}- Why don't ya come here for a second?|- I can't leave my desk.
{119204}{119288}- I have to be back on any second.|- Oh, come on. They can wait.
{119292}{119365}Just stand up and walk towards me.
{119369}{119460}- You didn't come to see me at all.|- Of course, I did.
{119608}{119655}OK.
{120164}{120309}And we're back|in five, four, three, two, one.
{120313}{120403}{y:i}This is Dr Emma Lloyd.|We're back with Real Love.
{120407}{120493}Susie from Morningside Heights,|you're on the air.
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